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vivalas-vega · 1 year

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new perspectives / jake ‘hangman’ seresin x reader / part two

another painful chapter. I’m very very sorry... kinda :/

as always pls lmk what you think and if you want to be added to the tag list!!!

new perspectives / jake ‘hangman’ sersesin x reader / part two

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prologue - part one

word count: 4.2k

warnings: language, drinking, mentions of surgery, medical inaccuracies (all of my medical knowledge comes from grey’s anatomy) angst :(

Semesters came and went, Christmases and Thanksgivings, late night parties and commendation ceremonies. Time was moving quicker than you maybe wanted it to, suddenly you blinked and undergrad was over… you blinked again and you were flying through medical school. That boy from molecular biology turned into your boyfriend and Matt was fine… he really was, you couldn’t find anything wrong with him no matter how hard you tried. Sure, he was a little self-centered but as you had found out there was only one man who wasn’t intimidated by your drive, there was only one man who celebrated you when you were off to medical school before anyone else, and there was only one man whose opinion you actually gave a damn about… which is why standing there in your apartment holding a letter accepting you into Massachusetts General’s residency program there was only one person you wanted to talk to.

“Hey, J, what’s up?” Jake answered as you propped your phone against your water bottle on your kitchen counter… you didn’t say anything, you only stood staring at the paper in your hands as he watched you through the screen, “what is that?”

“Jake…” you started, emotions clouding your voice and your hands shaking.

“No way,” he said and you heard clattering on his end, him telling people to shut up. “Tell me that’s what I think it is.”

“Mass Gen, Jake. I’m going to be a resident at Mass Gen,” you said, giggling as you held the paper up for him to see and he cheered on the other end, his smile illuminating your whole phone screen. “I’m moving to Boston.”

“You’re moving to Boston! What did Matt say?” he asked and you set the paper aside as you slid into a bar stool.

“Haven’t told him,” you replied and Jake gave you a look.

“You told me first?” He ran a hand through his hair, “well, I’m flattered but I’m not the first person you should have told.”

“He’s in class… and he’s going to tell me not to take it,” you sighed.

“Why on earth would he do that?”

“Because it’s the hardest residency program there is, it’s going to bruise his little baby ego,” you said with a laugh and Jake just shook his head. “I’m breaking up with him… there’s no point anymore.”

“You sure that’s what you want?” he asked, though he was certain it was what he wanted… he didn’t like Matt, never did. Where you cut him slack for his insecurities, Jake didn’t. Sly comments under his breath at your undergrad graduation and eye rolls when Jake came to town went overlooked by you, but not by Jake and he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t been hoping and praying for your relationship’s demise… not because he wanted your relationship to fail, not at all, but if you were going to be with anyone other than him than they needed to be great. Supportive, encouraging, secure enough in themselves to not get butthurt at your every accomplishment and Matt just wasn’t those things. He wasn’t good enough for you and everyone knew it. And so you broke up with Matt, packed up your shared apartment and met Jake in Boston who took a short leave to help you get settled into your new place.

“Hell of a view, Jupiter,” he said, standing in front of your bedroom window that directly overlooked the hospital.

You beamed, “I know,” but when you met his eyes you realized he was joking and your face fell, “oh. Well, this is my dream view. The next year of my life is going to be hell but at least being a minute away from the hospital means I’ll always be the first to answer a page which hopefully means cool surgeries.”

“You’re such a weirdo,” he chuckled, crossing the empty room to wrap you in a hug, “but you’re my weirdo and I’m so proud of you.” This was all you had ever wanted and Jake thought back to the day the two of you made the hardest decision to enter the next phases of your lives unattached, the way you’d scolded him for not assuming you’d end up here in Boston. He knew you would, you were a lot of things and true to your word was one of them… if you said you were going to do something, well that was that.

And it was hell, your intern year all but chewed you up and spit you out. You spent countless hours running around the hospital trying to keep up with all of the residents and attendings, anticipating their moves and trying to impress them and stay on their good side… which was nearly impossible because interns were the rats of the hospital. And that was okay with you, you were learning so much it felt like your brain was simply going to explode with all the new information being crammed in on a daily basis. It didn’t matter if the attendings were annoyed with you, despite what they said or how they treated you, you were the favorite. Nobody knew the surgical floor like you did, not even the nurses and that meant you logged more OR hours than any other intern.

“I literally don’t understand how you do it,” Holly said from beside you at the bar, “the attendings love you, did I tell you Dr. Adams kicked me out of his OR today because I wasn’t you?”

You chuckled, “yeah, I got that page.”

“And he got mad at me because you didn’t show up.” she grumbled.

“I had another surgery!” you protested and she shot you a glare.

“Again, I literally don’t understand how you do it.”

“Look, it’s not your fault… this is what, the first time I’ve been at the bar in weeks? You guys are here after every shift, sleeping around, making first-day mistakes a year in… oh wait, it is your fault,” you smirked, sipping your beer and she just softly hit your shoulder. “You gotta buck up, you can’t just stand around meekly after rounds waiting to get assigned to a case. That surgery I was in today? Removing a tumor we honestly had no business removing from someone’s brain, and I sure as hell didn’t get it twiddling my thumbs waiting for Dr. Harris to pick me.”

“What the fuck,” she sighed. “All I was doing with Adams was an appy.”

“You were assisting on an appy?” you asked and she nodded, “this is what I mean, Hol, I’ve done appys, that’s probably why Adams wanted me so he could fuck around and read the paper. You heard what the chief said on our first day. Don’t be the intern that washes out, it’s bad for my brand,” you teased. Your phone started ringing in your pocket and you pulled it out to see an incoming facetime from Jake and you propped him up on the bar as you answered.

“Jupiter! Are you in a bar?” he asked and you nodded, “same!” he said, twisting his phone around to show you some of his pilot friends and you chuckled.

“What are you doing calling me when you’re out and about?”

“Coyote missed you,” he said, panning the camera towards him and you beamed.

“I miss you too, Coyote, Jake lies to me so how was the mission?”

“All good, nothing to report,” he said and you narrowed your eyes.

“Yeah, you lie too, that’s exactly what he told me. Give me back to Jake.”

“Right here, angel,” he said and you flushed.

“Guess what I scrubbed in on today?”

“Hmm… something really cool that’s going to make me nauseous?” he replied and you chuckled.

“A massive brain tumor, Jake!” Holly exclaimed from beside you, “fucking brain tumor, I hate you,” she grumbled, getting up and joining everyone else at the dartboard while you just laughed.

“She’s cranky, all she did today was assist on an appy,” you explained.

“How big was it?” he asked and you held your hand up to gesture about the size of a golf ball. “Disgusting,” he muttered.

“God, it was huge, you don’t think of something that big being able to exist in someone’s brain! And it was smart, Jake, like truly brilliant. It was a pain in the ass to remove, I honestly thought it was a hopeless case, thought at the very least we were going to leave her blind or mute or paralyzed but we didn’t.” This is how your days usually went, you’d facetime Jake when you had a spare moment and traumatize him with the gory details of the latest surgery you’d seen, or catch him up on hospital drama while he told you all about the newest flight maneuvers he was learning or which person on his squad was the dud. You’d never forget the day he called while you were in the gallery, observing surgery and studying, and when you flipped the phone around to show him the exposed heart he grew pale and threw up into a trash can.

Coyote told you that you needed to call more, said Jake (or Hangman as he called him) was in a much better mood when you did and you promised you would but… it was hard, your schedules never aligned. You were always in surgery, or prepping for surgery, or studying for the intern exam, or passed out in an on-call room somewhere and he was usually halfway around the globe in a cockpit, or on some base across the country training. These moments were rare, the moments where one of you called and it didn’t go unanswered, every time you saw him on your tiny screen you felt like Jake looked different, and he felt the same. Stress had worn you both down, your careers had hardened you and it showed.

Life only got harder after your intern year, you had your own interns to babysit and more responsibilities and Jake was quickly becoming the best pilot in the Navy which meant more deployments and longer deployments. Each year passed with new patients and new places for Jake to ship out to. Your parents had come to visit you for Thanksgiving and you’d ended up sneaking them into the gallery to watch you assist in removing a turkey carver that was lodged in someone’s arm… Christmas was a no-go with the amount of fall injuries and ornaments in places ornaments shouldn’t be and it was the same for Jake. He’d tried time and time again to come see you, he’d promised you the gallery facetime was a one-off, he just hadn’t been prepared to see a heart like that, he wanted you to sneak him in so he could see his best friend in action but it just never worked out. A deployment always came up, and you were always so busy you rarely responded to the text until a full forty-eight hours later.

“What do we got?” you asked as you entered the trauma bay, taking the chart from a nurse and reading it over.

“25 year old GSW to the chest, immediate return of 860 cc’s of blood, losing more by the second.”

“Chest films?” you asked, taking the scans and holding them up to the light, “damn it,” you motioned one of your interns over, “what do you see?” you asked.

“It’s pressing against his heart,” they answered and you nodded. The on-call trauma surgeon entered the bay and you gave him a verbal assessment of the patient and he nodded as he handed the films back.

“Run point, page me if you need me,” he said as he moved to leave.

“Wait, sir- run point? I’ve never run a trauma-”

“In three hours you won’t be able to say that anymore,” he answered, “you’ve got this, Jupiter. Page if you need anything,” he replied as he left the room.

You looked to the nurse beside you, “did that just…?” she nodded. “Okay, uh… we’ve gotta move. Call up to OR four, tell them we’re coming and to load up on O-neg, page cardio, have them meet us there. Let’s move people, and carefully, that bullet is one jostle away from tearing his heart apart.” you ordered as your intern looked at you with wide eyes.

“There are no cardio surgeons on call, Williams is in surgery for the next few hours,” he said and you looked at him expectantly.

“Okay, so what are you going to do?” you asked, gesturing for the team to take him to the OR and prep him, and the intern looked at you like a deer caught in the headlights as he looked side to side over the ER as if he was looking for a lifeline. “Dr. Samuels, I am asking you what are you going to do for your patient?” you asked again.

“I don’t uh- can we wait? We can-”

“Can we wait? There is a bullet lodged in that man's chest and you want to wait for Dr. Williams?” you raised your voice now, looking at him incredulously. You sighed when he realized he wasn’t going to get it, “get Dr. Kerr on the phone now. Give him the patient history and tell him we need cardio, I will page trauma and we’ll get him opened up. He needs to hit the ground running when he gets here.” you said and he nodded as he stood there. “What part of now do you not understand? Go!” you said, sighing forcefully as he scurried away and you ran a hand over your forehead as you felt a hand tug on your elbow and you turned to meet those green eyes you loved so much.

“Hey, rockstar,” he said with a bright smile and your eyes widened as you wrapped your arms around him, careful not to let your gloves touch him, and you pulled them away and discarded them as he let you go.

“What are you doing here?” you asked, motioning for him to move with you as you headed for the elevators.

“Finished my mission, got some last minute leave and thought I’d come see you. You are a hardass, Jupiter,” he chuckled.

“You saw that?” you asked sheepishly as you hit the buttons for the OR floor and the gallery floor. “I want nothing more than to leave with you right now but, I…” you trailed off and he just nodded.

“You’re saving lives, I knew you’d be busy, I just wanted you to know I was here.” he said and you smiled up at him as the doors opened.

“Okay, uh… I can’t go with you, I need to be scrubbed like twenty minutes ago, follow this hallway, find the gallery for OR four, if anyone asks you’re a med student from Baylor.” you directed, kissing his cheek as you pushed him out of the elevator and frantically pressed the close button. You bounced from foot to foot as you scrubbed, truly only thinking about the moment you could leave this hospital and finally spend some time with Jake.

“Dr. Jupiter, good call on paging Dr. Kerr, knew you could handle running point, he’ll be here shortly,” the trauma surgeon said as you entered the OR and smiled beneath your mask at the scrub nurse who held out gloves for you.

“You do know that’s not actually my name, right sir?” you asked, stepping up to the patient.

“It’s got a good ring to it…” he said with a chuckle and really you didn’t mind… truthfully you didn’t care what people called you as long as it had doctor in front of it. The surgery was seamless, well about as seamless as removing a bullet from someone's chest could be, and when Dr. Kerr scrubbed in he even let you pull it out.

“Have you given any thought to a specialty?” he asked as he instructed you to close the patient.

“Yes sir, I’m starting my applications for trauma fellowships,” you answered and he nodded.

“Good. Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to steal you as my cardio fellow when the time comes, you’re great with hearts but you’ve got a knack for handling stressful situations. We can teach you how to throw a whip stitch and remove tumors but we can’t teach you how to stay calm.”

“Thank you, sir.” you replied as you smiled under your mask.

“I’ll monitor the patient post op, you go ahead and get out of here,” he said and you started to shake your head.

“That’s okay, Dr. Kerr… you weren’t even on call, I don’t mind.”

“Go get that boy from the gallery and enjoy your night… there will be plenty of time to make up for it when you’re my age.” he replied.

“Sir, I- I’m sorry-” you started but he just chuckled.

“Your secret is safe with me… snuck my wife in several times during residency. Now go,” he repeated and you nodded as you stepped back and began removing your gown and gloves.

You motioned up to Jake as you exited the room and met him on the gallery floor where he all but tackled you in a hug, “holy shit, Jupiter, that was insane.” he said and you giggled as he lifted you from the floor. When he set you down you tugged his arm to follow you as you made your way to the residents lounge to change out of your scrubs and grab your belongings, answering every one of his excited questions about the surgery as you went.

“So, what would you have done if the bullet actually punctured his heart?” he asked and you chuckled as your friends all looked at you questioningly.

“Well, in that case we would have relied on the films to tell us how far it had gone and what exactly was compromised but other than that we would just have to figure it out as we go… GSW’s are all unique and there’s no real way to prepare for them, you just gotta deal with what comes up.”

“Is this one of the med students from Baylor?” Jordan asked, another third-year like you.

You shook your head with a laugh, “no, this is Jake, my best friend.” you introduced and Jake extended his hand.

“The infamous Jake, I guess you’re who we have to thank for everyone calling this one Dr. Jupiter,” he said and Jake looked at you, chest swelling with pride.

“Do they really call you that?”

“They sure do, I meant it when I told you that nickname really stuck.”

“We’re all headed out for a drink, do you guys want to join?” Jordan asked and you shook your head.

“Maybe tomorrow night, if you’ll be here?” you asked, smiling when Jake nodded. “No offense but I spent eighty hours a week with you and I haven’t seen this one outside of a screen in too long.” You felt like you had floated the entire way home, laughing with Jake like it was old times except it wasn’t… he had just watched you in surgery and surprised you with a visit on his first time stateside in months. He’d kissed your cheek before you jumped in the shower and ordered pizza the same way he always did back home, but when you got out he’d shown you photos of his F/18 and a video he took from the air. Looking at him now he was all grown up, his muscles had filled out and there was an edge to him he never had before… and as he looked at you he thought the same thing. You’d grown into yourself, and he could tell just by looking at you that you’ve seen a lot in your short time as a resident. You’d gone on a giggly late night beer run but instead of sneaking into his parents garage you were walking the streets of Boston and pointing out all of the sights as you went, taking him the long way instead of to the convenience store just down the block.

“So, I’m starting to apply for fellowships for next year,” you said as you sipped your beer next to him on the couch.

“Anywhere cool?” he asked and you nodded.

“Baylor is an option, they’ve got an amazing facility but I don’t know how I feel about going back to Texas,” you chuckled, “right now San Diego is at the top of my list.”

He smiled softly, “we keep just missing each other,” he said and you cocked your head in confusion. “When I leave here in a few days I’m headed back to Top Gun.”

“Top Gun? What, did they realize you failed the first time?” you teased and he shook his head.

“Something about a top secret mission, I don’t know anything yet but it’s probably pretty serious if they’re sending me back there for new training,” he said and you nodded in understanding.

“You know… I’m really good at college applications, it’s not too late to be a doctor in a safe hospital, I promise it’s just as exhilarating as flying a plane.” you tried and he laughed at your effort.

“Sweetheart, don’t get me wrong… I loved watching you in action today but I was so close to throwing up several times, I mean his heart was just… out there in the open, and you were touching it with your bare hands.”

“I was gloved,” you interjected.

“Same difference,” he replied, “besides, you can’t speak to the exhilaration of flying a plane until you’ve done it.”

“That’ll be the day,” you laughed, finishing your beer and setting it on the coffee table. “No more work stuff… how are things on the personal front?” you asked, but it was clear what you were really asking.

“That was subtle,” he chuckled and you just shrugged. “Dating isn’t exactly easy with what I do… no one sticks around past their first deployment… and I get it, it’s a lot to ask of someone,” he said and you nodded.

“Hangman, the notorious ladies man,” you said and he narrowed his eyes at you.

“You’ve been talking to Coyote,” he accused and you laughed.

“Worried I’m going to steal your second best friend?”

“Incredibly worried, if it’s a competition I’m sure as hell not winning,” he said and you laughed again.

“From what I hear Hangman would never admit to being incapable of winning something…” he just shook his head at you.

“You know, I kinda like hearing you use my callsign…”

“Is that so?” he nodded, “well don’t get used to it, I think it’s silly… and I can’t wrap my head around it, you leaving people hanging? Just seems so unlike you.”

“It’s a different world,” he shrugged, but you knew there was more to it he wasn’t sharing. You weren’t going to press.

“Is Jupiter like, my callsign?” you asked and he nodded again. “Look at me, like a cool pilot with a callsign.” you picked up your phone as it dinged on the coffee table and squealed in delight, “guess who got their shift covered tomorrow?”

“You didn’t have to do that,” he sighed and you shook your head.

“I see you, what, twice a year? Maybe three times if we’re lucky? There are a lot of people who owe me for covered shifts and I’m just cashing in. Besides, what would you have done? Wander around Boston all sad and lonely, or even worse wander around the hospital all sad and lonely?”

“Why in both scenarios am I sad and lonely?”

You ignored the question, “come on, off to bed. You need your beauty rest for all the fun we’re going to get up to tomorrow.” you said, standing and tugging him from the couch. As you melted into him beneath the covers you felt your heart ache… you missed this. The two of you hadn’t been intimate together since that hotel room in Annapolis, you’d decided it would be for the best if you didn’t after a breakdown on your part at the airport and it was the right call. It made each departure just the slightest bit easier but you missed him in every sense. You missed the way his arms wrapped around you, encasing you in warmth and safety, and you missed the way his breath fanned over your face.

“Do you ever wish we weren’t so ambitious?” he asked and you opened your eyes to look up at him.

“All the time.”

“Life’s easier when you’re not… I look at my sisters and I wonder how they’re content to live the life they do but I realized it’s not about the job or the success for them, they built families and that’s why they’re happy.”

“I don’t think we would be though.” you replied, and as much as it hurt you to admit, you truly believed that.

“No?”

You shook your head before laying back down on his chest, “no. I’ve thought about it, quite a lot actually… one of us following a less demanding career path, and in every scenario the one who did ends up resenting the one who didn’t.”

“You’re probably right,” he mused. “Do you think we’ll ever get our moment again?”

You sighed softly, “I don’t know… I hope we do.”

“Me too, sweetheart… me too.”

previous part / next part

taglist: @mamaskillerqueen @clancycucumber230 @the-romanian-is-bae @dempy @alldaysdreamers @zzsloth @emma8895eb @novagreen04 @classyunknownlover

#jake hangman seresin #jake hangman seresin fan fiction #jake hangman seresin x reader #jake hangman seresin x you #jake seresin #jake seresin fan fiction #jake seresin x reader #jake seresin x you #hangman #hangman fan fiction #hangman x reader #hangman x you #top gun maverick #top gun fan fiction

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thethreeeyed-raven · 8 months

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I humbly submit this request, as I was on character ai and started playing with this prompt, but the damn ai is...so bad at story aspects or...boundaries xD.

If you're cool with doing it, could you perhaps do something with morpheus having been trying to follow the advice of his sister death, I randomly pops into the waking world to try and...socialize with humans. Where he knocks into y/n, who profusely apologizes and offers him a cup of coffee.

She leads him to her bakery that she owns and works at. Letting him sit wherever he wants, she grabs him hsi coffee of choice before starting to bake a new treat, not really following a recipe, but the smell attracts the endlesses attention. He requests some treats and y/n offers him to try out these that they're making. And when they're finally done morpheus's face just melts with delight. And every night he keeps coming back enjoying her baking and voice.

ITS COMPLETELY COOL IF YOU DONT WANNA, PLEASE HYDRATE AND REST

the bakery

navigation | warnings : none? | a/n : i did change it a little bit, and i didn’t add the last part, i could make a part 2 for the last bit, pls lmk if that’s something you want, enjoy! | dream of the endless playlist | tags : @knight-of-flowerss , @lost-in-fiction-like-ur-mom

The dream lord was bored.

He was hardly ever bored, except when he was trapped in that fish bowl for one hundred years...

Once again, Morpheus was sat pondering about what he could do. It was when he remembered his sister, Death's advice.

"So go out there and find a new one."

The 'new one' which she was talking about was a 'game'.

Dream liked to play games. And now it was over, he needed to find a new one.

The time was half past nine at night when you were walking down the street with a mountain of boxes in your arms.

The boxes were far too large for you to see over the top of them.

As you continued your walk, you didn't notice the man that was walking the opposite way in front of you.

It seems neither did he as his gaze was fixed to the floor before there was a loud crash.

You groaned as you looked at all of the spread boxes of pastry samples and then you fixed your attention on the man knelt in front of you.

Forgetting about the boxes, your stare was fixed on the elegant creature in front of you.

It owned soft, pale skin, with eyes that held all of the universes and galaxies within its twinkling irises.

It owned delicate, blood red lips, and dark, midnight black, unkept hair.

The creature was a man, but his aura was other-worldly, as was his graceful beauty.

Finally, you came to your senses, muttering apologies as you scampered to collect the fallen boxes. Morpheus analysed you carefully, you seemed like a normal person, but something about you was pulling him in.

"You needn't apologise." His deep, raspy voice stirred something inside of you.

"I...no, really, I should" You paused, before letting out an awkward laugh. "I should've got someone to help me with these."

The both of you rose to your feet. "Perhaps, I could help you." Dream seemed hesitant, but Death's words kept playing in his head.

"Really? Thank you so much!"

He grabbed the top box that was blocking your vision, and your eyes met.

It felt like the world stopped, and you could finally get a good look at them. As you both gazed, you took notice of the ring of cold blue, and the stars that shined inside.

Morpheus stopped to get another good look at you too. He liked the way you looked at him, like you had never seen something like him before. You probably haven't.

Your eyes widened when you realised you'd been caught. "I-It's this way."

"I'm really sorry for wasting your time..." You looked at him expectantly.

"Morpheus."

Strange, you thought.

"Morpheus." You smiled before feeling around your pockets for your house keys. You grabbed onto them before reaching back into your pocket.

"I have a bakery just down the road, if you'd like to visit one day." You handed him the pale blue card. "I could bake you something, as a thanks for helping me."

The silence was loud as Dream just held the card, looking at it. This kindness was new to him, you were just a stranger.

Why were you being so nice?

"Maybe."

Giving him a small nod, you unlocked the door and went inside, placing the boxes in the hallway. "Thank you again!"

Interesting, thought Morpheus.

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sungbeam · 1 year

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𝐅𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐊 — teaser!

nonidol!eric sohn x fem!reader

you and eric met on an airplane, and that's where you thought it would end, but clearly the universe has a different plan in mind.

▷ genre, teaser warnings. s2f2l, fluff, no warnings except eric being unbearably clumsy and adorable :')

▷ projected release date. february 14th <3 EDIT: IT'S BEEN POSTED HERE! PLS ENJOY!!

▷ estimated wc. 26-28k

▷ taglist. open! (add yourself here)

tagging those from party people :') if you'd like me to remove u, then pls lmk! @polarisjisung @oi-miya @justalildumpling @sickvision @yogurteume @wtfhyuck @stayonceeva @smiles4jungwon

TEASER BELOW THE CUT! (APPROX. 400 WORDS)

Luckily for Eric, the movie was more comedic and less touching, so the tissues he had stashed in his pants pocket could be saved for another movie that was much more emotional. Well… that was until after the show, about fifteen minutes after, in fact, that they needed to be used for a completely different purpose.

“I am so sorry!” Eric squawked in distress, desperately ripping tissues out from their Avengers packaging and shoving them into your hands so you could staunch the stain of dark brown coffee blooming on your cardigan. Patrons of the cafe peered over curiously, then winced and looked away when they saw the mess of coffee spilled onto the floor beneath your chair.

But for some reason, you were laughing as you blotted the bitter wash out of the cotton as best as you could.

Eric sent you a frustrated look while he knelt on the floor next to you so he could start dabbing the coffee on your sneakers. “Why are you laughing? I just ruined your entire outfit.”

You sucked in a breath, the remnants of your laugh lingering on your lips. “I’m—pfft—I’m sorry! I actually have no idea why I’m laughing or why I think it’s funny, but it’s totally okay, Eric.”

“The more you say things are okay, the more I think they aren’t,” he groaned. His mouth pressed into a pout as he rose to his feet, swiping his forehead with the back of his hand. In his other hand, he held a crumpled ball of napkins damp with coffee and dirt.

You realized that your cardigan was beyond saving without some good laundry detergent, and you tossed the Kleenex in your hand onto the table so you could shoulder the garment off. You grinned up at him, “Well, just know I don’t hold a grudge. This could use a wash anyway.”

Eric huffed out a breath of air as he crumpled into the seat across from you again. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what the matter with me is today, but I swear to god that I don’t make a habit out of screwing up dates.”

You blinked, heart stuttering in your chest. “Huh?”

“—Da—ys out!” He rushed to correct himself. He cupped the back of his neck with a hand, cheekbones flushing to a delicate pink. “Days out! I said ‘days out’!” He nodded to himself, muttering, as if to convince himself of what he just said. He suddenly stood up again. “I’m gonna go ask one of the staff members for a mop."

want another teaser? read how y/n and eric met here (comfort incoming) / read the first fic of the series: party people (jacob's storyline)

tbz m.list

permanent taglist: @tayunji @im-a-big-mess @honeyhuii @y3jiishot @crazywittysassy @seomisaho @stopeatread @enhacolor @rnjfy @jaehunnyy @kpopjackie @spiderrenjunfics @soobin-chois @mingiholic @ethereal-engene

#the boyz x reader #eric sohn x reader #sohn youngjae x reader #the boyz drabble #the boyz oneshot #the boyz fluff #the boyz scenarios #the boyz imagines #eric sohn imagines #eric sohn drabble #eric sohn oneshot #eric sohn fluff #the boyz fanfic

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messrsbyler · 1 year

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Hello!! what do you think about the tag those days? do you have a fav blog? who do you think is saving the tag from dying with posts and theories?

i think the tag is slowly dying tbh and it's sad to see? the reality is that for the past year or so the tag has been kept alive (from what i've seen and my personal experience here) because of art/fic creators and analysis blogs. however, it's been a year since s4 dropped and as i've seen some people around the tag say, everything that could've been analysed or said about byler in the last season or all seasons has already been said. now, i personally LOVE doing analysis even to this day, doesn't matter if i'm probably repeating something someone else spotted and blogged about two months ago. it's fun to make those posts, but we can't ignore that they are becoming repetitive and that side of the tag is burning out. because of that, things like fics/art/headcanons/ficlets/aus are so important now.

we don't have to run out of content to enjoy in our tag, but people should be willing to step outside their comfort zone and accept that canon is limited to what can he done and said about byler. aus however open new doors that this tag hasn't really explored yet, and for some reason there's a bit of resistance? and that leads us to a dead end because then there's no new not repetitive content and the tag starts dying even with its huge following.

another issue is definitely the lack of rb in the tag. i can jump on any post in the byler tag and check the notes and i know the ratio between likes and rbs will be ridiculous. ofc i can't force anyone to rb if they don't want to, but liking a post and not rb kills a post bc it stops reaching new people who will then engage with said post and then it will reach even more blogs. liking does nothing, it's a dummy button.

rb not only allows a post to stay alive, it's also a great opportunity to create conversations in the tags and engage with other people on this side of the internet. and well if you aren't into that or don't like to add tags to every rb, a simple rb still does much more than a like.

i have many fav blogs and i'll probably forget some, but from the top of my head i have @andiwriteordie (writer and au lover) @foodiewithdahoodie (amazing takes and headcanons) @astrobei (writer and artist) @wiseatom (amazing writer) @doriandrifting (analysis and amazing takes) @emblazons (amazing takes and gifs) @mayahawkins (one of the best gif creators in the tag) @perexcri (amazing writer) @likegoldintheair (amazing writer and amazing headcanons/ficlets) @elekinetic (amazing writer and amazing scripts) @kidovna (beautiful art and aus and comics) @noodles-and-tea (art art art i am obsessed) @nnilkyway (again beautiful art) @strangeswift (writer and a fun blog to check out) and many more that i'm probably forgetting right this moment.

if you (anyone who is reading this) have a blog rec pls lmk!!! i'm always looking for new byler content!!

(if you have stonathan blogs recs uh also lmk i need more stonathans on my dashboard thanks)

#asks #byler #byler tumblr

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aceghosts · 1 year

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for the one-word writing prompts!

“unforeseen” for hunter x albert pls? (lmk if i didn’t do this right 😭)

Thanks for sending this one in! It's been sitting in my drafts for a while, but I didn't feel confident until posting about it until now. Also, gonna tag @sstewyhosseini. (I hope it's okay that I'm tagging you; I just know that you like them.)

[Prompt List]

Summary: On a mission in a tiny mountain town, Wesker encounters an unforseen complication, BSAA Captain Hunter Delaney.

More of the BSAA Agent! Hunter AU.

Words: 1053 words.

Content Warnings: Canon Typical Violence. Mentions of Death and infection.

AO3

The cold winter winds howl through the tiny, remote town, yet Wesker is unbothered by the frigid air. Ever since his rebirth, he no longer feels the sting of the cold or heat, a benefit on missions like these. The winds blow again, catching the tail of his black wool coat, fluttering in the wind. He moves forward in the snow with purpose, the frozen, white ground crunching beneath his feet. Wesker does not worry about being seen; most of the town’s inhabitants are dead or infected. They prove no threat, clearly the products of rudimentary science. He already thinks of the way the virus could be improved, perfected.

“Captain,” Wesker raises a blonde eyebrow at the sound of the unknown woman’s voice, “Do you think we’ll find anyone alive?”

“Unlikely, Natasha,” the ‘Captain’ replies as Wesker ducks into an empty house. He stays close to the window, allowing him to listen and catch a glimpse of the possible annoyances. “I think we’ve stumbled upon a fucking ghost town.”

“Don’t know that I would describe these as ghosts…” A man replies, cheekily.

“Really, Patrick?” Another man chimes in, his voice deadly serious.

“Oh, come on Arthur,” Patrick whines, “We need a little humor in this situation. What do you think, Kevin?”

“Uhhh…,” Another team member says, presumably ‘Kevin’, glancing between two members as the group moves into his field of view, “Shouldn’t we focus on the mission?” Glancing out the window, Wesker makes out a group of five: three men, one woman, and another person. While observing the group, Wesker spies a familiar emblem, gritting his teeth. The BSAA…. an eternal thorn in his side. Or rather, Christopher and Jill were a thorn in his side, the rest of the BSAA too weak and ineffective to deal with someone like Wesker. The only reason Christopher and Jill even presented a threat was due to his training, during their S.T.A.R.S. days. If anything, the BSAA only gave Christopher and Jill more chances to annoy him.

“Wait,” one of the members seems concerned, the Captain by the sounds of it, as they sniff the air, “I smell someone.”

“That isn’t freaky at all,” ‘Patrick’ mumbles under his breath.

“Do they smell infected?” ‘Arthur’ asks, as the other members raise their guns, preparing for an attack.

“I….,” The Captain sounds unsure, sniffing the air again, “I don’t know. I smell cologne, and the scent of something else. Can’t put my finger on it.” They sniff again, smirking as they add, “Also, I smell shitty body spray. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, Patrick, are you trying to fucking kill us with that shit?”

“Hey!” Patrick exclaims, slightly hurt as Kevin laughs beside him.

“I think he’s trying chemical warfare on the zombies, and we’re just caught in the cross fire,” Natasha teases in while Arthur shakes his head.

“Can you smell anything else?” Arthur asks, trying to get the group back on track.

The Captain sniffs again. “Nothing else besides what we’ve already encountered.” Fascinating. He glances out the window, locking on the Captain’s figure, broad-shouldered and tall. Jet black hair falls to their shoulders in shaggy waves, and their skin is deathly pale, covered in freckles. Wesker notes the long scar across the bridge of their nose and another large, jagged scar on their lip. He briefly wonders how the Captain came to be so scarred. Bioweapons, perhaps? Most didn’t escape without physical or emotional scars. “Listen, come on out. We’re not here to hurt you; we’re here to help you.” As a show of good faith, the Captain holsters their rifle, holding up their hands to show them as empty. How could Wesker resist when the Captain was asking so sweetly?

He opens the red door, all guns training on him as it creaks open. Stepping forward, He meets the Captain’s eyes, delighted by the muted green color and the hint of something darker that dwells within. Stopping several feet away, Wesker smirks. “The BSAA…What brings an organization like you out here to this little village?”

The Captain and Arthur share concerned glances. “There’s been an outbreak in this village. Would you know anything about that…?” The Captain is fishing for his name, but they’re going to have to do better than that.

“An infection,” He plays innocent, his voice thoughtful, “I would not know anything about that, Captain….”

“Hunter Delaney.” How fascinating. Ironic that the captain of a BSAA squad should share a name with one of Umbrella’s infamous creations. He lets out a low chuckle as they raise a black eyebrow, confusion clear on their face. “Is something funny?”

“No, Hunter,” He enjoys the way their name sounds, enjoying, even more, the slight shiver that runs over Hunter, “Nothing funny at all.”

Hunter’s eyes narrow, staring into his black sunglasses as if they’ll find the answers hidden there. A moment later, their eyes widen in horror as recognition dawns on them. Hunter steps closer to him, placing themself between Wesker and their team. “Arthur, take the team and go. I’ll catch up with you later.” Do Christopher and Jill tell tall tales about their dear old captain? Is Wesker the boogeyman that looms large over the BSAA?

Arthur nods, motioning for the team to follow his lead. Sighing, Wesker cannot allow any of them to leave. What a shame. He was having such a nice time talking with Hunter, and now, it’s all over. He dashes forward towards Hunter, a black blur against the stark white snow. As he reaches them, his hand stretches toward the collar of their olive-green jacket, preparing to toss Hunter about. Maybe, he’ll make them watch their teammates die, before having a little fun with them.

Hunter sidesteps him, far quicker than any human could, before throwing a punch with their left fist. They connect with his stomach, knocking Wesker backward and just barely knocking the wind out of him. Landing on the snow, his sunglasses fall away, and several strands of blonde hair come loose. Quickly getting up to his feet, Wesker finds Hunter smirking at him, ready for the next attack. “That all you fucking got, asshole?”

Excitement floods Wesker, now extremely curious about Hunter Delaney. What an unforeseen, yet interesting complication. “You have no idea what I’m capable of, Hunter. Perhaps, a demonstration is in order.”

#Kate writes #the hunter fic tag #Hunter Delaney #OTP: Love Me Mercilessly #Resident Evil OC #RE OC #Biohazard OC #Albert Wesker x OC #albert wesker #I guess you could call this Hunter and Wesker's first meeting #and in every universe Hunter is destined to think he is an asshole upon first impression #I should probably point out that one of Hunter's abilities is enhanced senses which is both a blessing and a curse #Also this was supposed to be short-like 100 to 200 words #and uh this one kind of got out of control #anyway enjoy Wesker being an asshole and Hunter being thoroughly unimpressed #it was also nice to write Hunter getting along with their team #and not their main universe where everything is kinda shit from the start

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itsnot-faith-ifyou-useyoureyes · 3 months

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INTRO POST!!!!!

You can call me vampy or sophia idgaf. This blog is just for shits n giggles bc I like making blogs n stuff

Anywayssssss I do actually plan on changing this blogs theme like every month n it’s gonna be based off of albums so idk

DNI ⭑ BYF ⭑ OTHER SHIT UNDER THE CUT 😋

DNI:

Rude ppl

Homophobes

Transphobes

Ppl who are weird about ppl not having the same view as them 💀

Waycest / pro shippers (go put on some deodorant pls)

I’ll block if I feel the need to 😋

BYF:

I do post a lot of random shit like I do on most of my blogs. As you can also probably tell I do cuss a lot - if you are uncomfortable with that just like don’t interact or block me

ALSO I LIKE AND FOLLOW FROM @tousyposay

On another side note, tho this is a music blog there could be themes that people might find uncomfortable like death or addiction or blood/gore. If these topics were to somehow make its way onto this blog I’d try my best to tag it. If you see anything on this blog that you feel needs to have a tw tag just lmk id be happy to add it :)

Okay as I said earlier I’m like basing this blog off of albums which I’m gonna change every month or sooo so here’s a list of everything so far

Feb - Folie a Deux - Fall Out Boy (comingapartattheseams)

March - Selfish Machines - Pierce The Veil (urmyfavexplosion)

April - Riot! - Paramore (it’s not-faith-ifyou-useyoureyes)

K that’s like all for rn uh so if you’re interested in my other blogs uhhh

@thxnks4themrms - main side blog where I post about music and random shit and I simp over my partner

@blxxdbxgs - medical themed blog where I post shit about ppl/characters who have a background/theme of medicine. I usually post shit about Nurse Gerard on here

@worldsnumberonecokewhore - my girl blogging blog 💘😻 I post about Sanrio shit here and give advice (it is actually sorta inactive tho)

@vxmpyluvschococat - my side blog where I talk about irl shit 😜

@vampy4president - my side blog for shits n giggles where i talk about politics

Uhhhh I’ll add to this later iggggg

#pinned post #🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯#last updated:#4/14/2024

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ginalinettiofficial · 1 year

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💕tagging info💕

hi!!! basic info in my bio but yea i’m daina i’m 27 and i’ve been on this webbed sight for over a decade now right here on this very blog so we’ve got YEARS of content in this bad boy. who knows what’s on here?? certainly not me!!

that said, lately i’ve been trying to make more of an effort to tag stuff so that ppl who follow me for one specific fandom or another can block the fandoms they don’t follow!! i’m currently posting mainly stranger things and dc stuff, but u may happen upon me in the midst of a renewed hyperfixation for any of the following:

stranger things: #st

dc/batman: #dc

dungeons and daddies: #dndads

avatar: #atla

twilight: #twilight

disneys decendants: #descendants

check please: #omgcp

marvel: #marvel

taylor swift: #ts

harry styles: #hs

teen wolf: #tw

star wars: #sw

brooklyn nine-nine: #b99

community: #community

most other stuff i usually just tag w the full name of the thing (like #friends for friends, #new girl for new girl, etc) but yea for most things that i post about regularly i try to use one of the itty bitty short tags because they’re easier to type and therefore easier for me to consistently tag since i’m on mobile 95% of the time

other general tags:

personal or original posts: #d speaks

asks: #asks

polls that i make: #d polls

stuff that makes me feel good about humanity or inspired by people or shit like that: #human stuff

fics or articles i want to circle back to: #to read

art/things that inspire me to draw etc: #art ref

writing tips/insp: #writing ref

fashion/pretty clothes: #fashion ref

general stuff to reference: #reference

things i want to buy: #want

zodiac stuff: #aries

any not safe for work stuff i’ll tag w a general #nsfw but i have minors following me so i generally try to not reblog anything that’s nsfw/too explicit!! & during ramadan i try to tag any food as #nsfr & i’m more than happy to add any other haram content to that list too, just lmk!!

if u need any triggers tagged or there’s content i’m posting that you’d rather blacklist (a fandom, a ship, a character, whatever!) and i don’t have a tag for it pls lmk!! it’s fully nbd to me and i’ll happily tag anything for ya.

💕happy blogging friends :-)💕

#d speaks

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lilolilyr · 8 months

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Tagged by @banashee to post 10 of my favorite comfort movies and then tag 10 people, thanks! <3 just had a look at yours again after writing mine, we agree on LotR :D and adsfg I really need to watch Rocky Horror one of these days (I've seen it live before, but never the movie I think?? Oupsie xD fast ne Bildungslücke!)

1. Lord of the Rings (whole trilogy but if I have to choose one then Return of the King)

Comfort movie: battles and darkness and Winning

A++

2. Racing Stripes

(The film's in colour but it looks like this is the only gif I can find when I type in the title lmao)

One of a handful of taped movie me and my sister watched on repeat as a kid. Big nostalgia

3. Chestnut: Hero of Central Park

I can't find a gif for that one at all, but it's another cute kids movie I used to watch A Lot and still sometimes return to for the comfort of nostalgia and safety

4. Monte Carlo

I love all those silly switcharoo films, also the princess switch and its sequels etc, but Monte Carlo was the first one I watched and I still love to watch it for some mindless destress entertainment xD

Ummmm okay what else we got, I can't actually easily think of comfort!movies, I've got a whole bunch of comfort TV shows that come to mind, and movies I love but that aren't exactly /comfort/... *Goes through my Ao3 fandom list* no nothing clicks nothing clicks... Oh!

5. Pitch Perfect

Just the first one tbh, I mean the others are fun too but this one's a comfort film for me!

6. murder, she said

I adore Miss Marple, and this version of Miss Marple specifically! I've watched this one so many times :)

7. The Parent Trap

It's cute. Okay? It's cute xD and I've probably watched this version at least as often as the German one I'll add next, probably bc this one was on TV more often? Idk, I couldn't actually say which one I like more

8. Charlie & Louise

Again no gifs on here, but I adore this film! Also as you can maybe tell I'm actually running out of ideas and the Real comfort would be reading the book version of Das Doppelte Lottchen that both this and the parent trap are loosely based on xD my mom still has an old hardcover version and I've always adored that book, wished I had a twin whenever I read it as a kid!

9. Pride and Prejudice

Alright so th Colin Firth series version is better and the YouTube Lizzie's diaries or what it is is the best anyway but we're doing movies here and the Keira Knightley version Is definitely a comfort film for me so here goes

Ok so there are Definitely pride and prejudice gifs somewhere on tumblr. It just won't show them in the search results for sommme reason. Seems to be because it has the word 'pride' in it, because whenever I type that it switches to the 'create your own gif' error image. @staff what's up with that? Latent homophobia again?

10. Kyss Mig

First wlw film I ever watched, I still remember watching it (on mute, with English subtitles, there's no German or English dub anyway) in my parents' living room when I was 12 or so, with the computer display turned away from everyone else, actually pretending to be on tumblr (the rule was we had to be at least in the same room for evening family time even if I was uninterested in whatever movie or sports the others were watching but I was allowed to be on tumblr) and trying not to show any reaction to the screen bc at the time I had no idea what my parents' stance regarding LGBT ppl was (parents, tell your kids when you're okay with them being gay, bc they might be and they won't just Know that you're okay with that!), and idk I've had friends tell me it's not their fav film and maybe it's mainly the nostalgia for me but I still absolutely adore this movie and have rewatched it many times

Tagging my mutuals, friends and collaborators <3 @toboldlynerd @lavendelhummel @squishmittenficfan @purlturtle @mimi-mindless @asstraightasau-turn @katieswain123 @verajasmijnart @artax-risen @bookgirlfan only if you want to do it of course! :) & pls lmk if you'd rather I didn't tag you in the future!

Edit: looking at old posts in my 'movie tag' and 'comfort movies' tags now like omg! Of course! Mr&Mrs Smith, Lara Croft, Mean Girls, Carol..... Also I only just thought of Miss Congeniality! Adsfghjkl I really have 0 memory sometimes!

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straykits · 2 years

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recs game !

recommend 5 or more of your own works that you would rec to someone asking what they should read first & explain a little bit about the work. these can be the most popular, the ones you think are underrated, or your own favorites! then tag five other writers!

was tagged by @lixesque <3 doing it on my writing bc i just got a small handful of new followers so hi if u guys see this this is indirectly for u HAHA anyways this was really hard and i'll be tagging. uh. um. @soulssung @violixs @decembermoonskz @sulfurcosmos aHHHHHHHHHH

evening star - bc; lmh

wbk she'd be on here <//3 evening star is ... my most cherished piece, i suppose, because of how much time and effort i've put into it. yes there's only one part up and yes it's long overdue for part two, but i promise that's coming soon and i promice that our other beloved character will make a more permanent appearance. the story features a fem reader who is a princess, chan who is a knight, and minho who is a mage! it's set in a fantasy world; your typical kind of.. humans and magic world, yknow? anyways pls give evening star a shot <3

five more - scb

is it my love for given, or this piece? you'll never know. but i really enjoyed the end product for this one! just the quietness, and the light atmosphere-turned-sentimental kinda thing. that's my favourite. it's what i hope to achieve in like. 90% of my stuff.

static - bc

a snapshot of a quiet drive, this one. again, just the quietness of it? ..idk if that makes sense. but i also quite enjoyed people's reactions to the beginning of this hfdnskjfsfjs

12:02am - lmh

its just bootiful imo

untitled (prompt: playing with eachother's fingers) - bc

another one that i just. was really happy with. the hazziness, the kind of impermenanence of it. AHHHHHH pls i love this one so much i need a title for it but i don't yet have one. i.. also need to go add this to my m.list soon

if anyone checks any of these out, please lmk what you think! reminder that feedback etc is always so appreciated and cherished

#kat plays games

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partyinthemysterymachine · 4 years

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as a classic cats fan what did you think of the 2019 movie?

FOREWARD: i have full respect to those who enjoyed CATS 2019 and show their support and engage in that part of the fandom. rock on. very truly, honestly, sincerely, i hope you have a blast and create and share and have the best of times. welcome to the fandom, it’s great to have you here; thank you for joining us and i really, really do mean that from the bottom of my heart and soul. it really makes me happy that CATS has become something good for you like it is, and has been, for so many of us. i’m ecstatic to see the fandom expanding and i’m so very serious about that.

unfortunately this is the time to jump ship if you don’t want to hear any more complaints about it. thank you and ilu all and once again, welcome to the fold, i love that you’re joining us and y’all being here honey butters my toast xoxo

there was a 2019 movie?

runs hands down face

from the very first sneeze of an idea of doing a CATS movie went around being speculated in what.. 2012?? i have been against it because i knew it wouldn’t be done right. what i really wanted, really hoped for, what the fandom very honestly deserves and STILL does to this day and beyond is another honest, no dances cut, full on professionally shot video of the stage production again.

i’m still putting my hand to the cold glass and pulling my thin shawl around my shoulders as i gaze past the rain blurring the dreary world outside and sighing a tremendous, weary sigh because Hamilton is getting a full professionally-shot stage movie...... and CATS likely won’t ever.. and how cruel that is.

(not hatin on Hamilton, btw; im just old and bitter LOL i have zero hard feelings towards Hamilton and honestly good for them for getting that done, they deserve it)

so...... listen. i appreciate the thought and commitment to making a CATS movie. i think the biggest thing that busted my balls about it was the use and execution of the CGI cat people. ofc this is a big thing in a lot of opinions. but i’ve always been sitting here like.......

there are... decades of fanart. decades of productions and photos and costume design. but the fan. art. did anyone go in and look at it? artists have been drawing these characters a wide variety of ways, but when it boils down to the anthropomorphic take on it, i thought it was pretty damn clear how good it could look. i feel like they should have been diggin in the CATS art trenches all this time, all these years, and really taken all these artistic interpretations very seriously to heart.

it felt like a slap in the face when they overhauled nearly everyone’s design/look to the point where i don’t even know who i’m looking at. and listen, i’m here for redesigns, don’t get me wrong. i dug Jason Derulo’s Tugger design. i dug Idris Elba’s Macavity base idea because he was made a shorthair and clearly all source material says otherwise? and where’s the ginger, mate??

(NOTE: in the b’way revival the new Macavity costume is easily 99% black in contrast to the original design in which the costume was 95% red and orange. stark difference. “Macavity’s a ginger cat” contradicts the revival costume a bit since, again, it’s largely black. so in its defense, the costume’s red/orange accents are well placed and the black pays more tribute to the “very tall and thin” aspect he’s supposed to have. (the old costume was wild and hairy, it kinda puffed him out a bit, esp with the much fuller and taller wig.) the revival wig is more on par with main wigs, and it has that coppery color, the makeup is simplistic (as it needs to be added on to Plato) and the color use FOR base Plato brings out the red and etc etc etc. i like the revival costume; it didn’t go overboard on the reds and oranges, it was sleek and powerful, and oh my god you’ve got fingergless gloves with fucking fringe there is a MANE wiht FRINGE who designed that bc i gotta kiss em and offer a piece of my heart and soul)

everything felt muddled, disorganized, foreign, and god why did we do Jennyanydots that why please why are the cockroaches people please are you all ok in production? blink twice if you need help

oh yeah and the fat jokes. i think we were supposed to be getting over that but ok

very interesting thing with Macavity kidnapping the potentials. kinda dug that. fuck it up, Skimbleshanks

and speaking of fuckin Skimbleshanks you have no idea how much of my shit i lost when he started the tap number. i was over the MOON. GOOD shit, FUCK yeah, GO OFF and it was brilliant, absolutely beautiful

ALSO when i heard Judi Dench was gonna be in it i was really hopeful she’d finally play Grizabella. what a fucking treat that would’ve been. she was set to debut the role in the West End, then she tore her Achilles, so Elaine Page replaced her and the rest was history. i’ve really wanted to hear/see her Grizabella. :(

(and briefly on the topic of Grizabella i’m kinda not here for the trend of younger actresses in the role just hhhhhhhh kinda takes away and misplaces her whole vibe and story imo)

i just.. i didn’t understand some of the plot changes like how Macavity was up in everyone’s bs tryna force himself up to the Heavyside Layer, it was silly, and yeah i shouldn’t take CATS so seriously even with the longtime fan background but

gestures helplessly

y’all fr??

there were a lot of super questionable decisions across the board and all that has already been gone over by so many people a dozen billion times. on one hand, i’m glad CATS got some exposure. on the other, :( not like this

however, on a very good note (other than skimbleshanks bless him): let me tell you how EXCITED i was that they used the original Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer arrangement. what a fucking pleasant surprise. HELL yeah. i LOVE that arrangement and i’m tickled to pieces that it was chosen. good shit. good shit.

tbh as Serious and Bruh Calm Down this might all sound, it’s honestly no skin off my teeth. it’s a frustration, sure. i’m so very tired. i’m disappointed. i didn’t have any specific expectations about it, just a lot of hopes. maybe too many hopes.

being a longtime CATS fan i know as well or even better than other people what a fucking dumpster fire the show is LMAO it’s wild and it’s ridiculous and god it doesn’t make any sense, it has a plot and it has no plot and everything about it is so horny and it’s the greatest fucking thing to ever happen to me

i obviously have a lot of feelings and history with CATS, and 2019 did not “ruin” anything for me, it didn’t “taint” anything about it, despite everything i’ve complained about i don’t consider myself a purist. (ok. except about the revival choreography. some things are more sacred than the vatican.)

i don’t dig 2019 as a whole. i don’t want to completely disregard it. there are bits and pieces i did like and that i can appreciate. i wish it wasn’t done that way. i just wish we had gotten a true blue professionally shot, no dances cut, honest portrayal of the stage production.

but hey it is what it is. at the bottom of it all i’m just glad there are new people coming in and taking a look around. it’s nice to see a resurgence of the fandom. it feels really good to see more people here and loving it. i missed CATS and the CATS community. it feels so good to be home.

#ches writes #ches writes stuff #cats musical #cats the musical #anti cats 2019 #is that the tag? god i feel like such a dick tagging that lmfao #if there's another tag i need to add lmk pls #in which i barf words and do mostly complaining but also wholesome #frnkfucker69

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cl0udshepherd · 2 years

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#@ all the dtblr blogs who are twisting jack's words rn please know I am sick of your shit!!!!!#discourse #I'm so fuuuuucking done with all of you. jack is doing better apologies than dream has ngl.#<- this is about people saying that he's misogynist and that he's attacked dream. I'm not talking about anything else he's said #I am too a dream fan but bruh the parasocialism is too much!! dream did a stupid thing and it's true sorry that your streamer isn't perfect!#rant #pls lmk if I need to tag more stuff for filtering!!#jack manifold #I'm just so upset that ppl are attacking jack like. this is EXACTLY what antis did to dream #you're no better than them!!!!!!#this is getting deleted I'm nervous for having opinions on the internet #delete later #ok wait I'm going to add onto this. the 'obsessed' was not great. that was mizkif. jack already apologized for that wording #and tbh is he wrong????? I'm close to that demographic and I'm (kind of) a girl and I'm obsessed with george #<- /hj. I get that it's diminishing and stereotyping and miz is in the wrong. people twisting it on jack is fucked tho #I'm this close to snapping and making a whole rant on my opinions about the whole dream community but thats another post

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anothers-trash-my-treasure · 2 years

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Starving

Happy Easter! This is not an easter-themed story but nonetheless, we've got something new here. From the requests, 'sit on my face and I'll show you how much I missed you' and 'don't worry, honey, you can pull my hair as hard as you want while I'm between your legs" with some slight modification.

Pairing: Merriell Shelton / Female Reader

Warnings: Oral sex (female receiving) Facesitting. It's pretty tame, as far as some of my stories go.

Word Count: 1.6

Tags: @edteche2 @xmxisxforxmaybe @diasimar @txmel @paradoxicaltornado @404-not-found-xix @sherlollydramoine @itswormtrain @gloriousangelsdarkworld (I’m sorry I’m awful for keeping updated tag lists so pls lmk if you want to be added or taken off)

You loved coming home to him. Especially after you’ve been away for longer periods of time. God, there truly was nothing like it. Merriell Shelton was an amazing lover even on his worst days. But when he had gone days without you, the man was all but ravenous. You had gotten home while he was still at the shop, and while his lack of immediate presence was something you missed, you were grateful you had the time to freshen up and get started on dinner.

“She’s home!” He calls when he opens the door to your shared apartment, quick to shed his shoes and move to meet you in the kitchen, no doubt smelling the food warming on the stove, “And she made dinner.” His voice much closer now, a pair of arms are wrapping around your waist to pair with it.

“Hi baby,” You greet warmly, sinking back into his body as you tilt and turn your head to kiss him, slow and sweet, “How was your day?” You ask, enjoying the way he curls himself around you, nuzzling his face into your neck. You think distantly that if he were a cat, he’d be purring.

“Too long,” he sighs, following it up with a kiss on your neck, “Knowin’ I had ta’ wait all day ‘till I could see you.” Another kiss, “That smells good, by the way.” he adds.

You hum, pleased with his response. “Hungry?”

His lips then suck at the juncture between your neck and shoulder, slowly and so intensely that you have to grip the countertop in front of you for stabilization.

“Starving.”

You let out a shaky laugh, one hand coming up to cup the back of his head, encouraging him to keep kissingsuckingbiting at your skin, “Missed me then?”

“Come sit on my face and I’ll show you how much I missed you.” he breathes into your ear and in that moment, you feel every ounce of need in his body surge through yours. Not wasting another second you reach forward, turning the stove off before turning around and kissing him hard and passionate, hands tangling in his hair. Dinner completely forgotten.

Your lips meet in a frenzied kiss, both of you moaning softly into the kiss as your hands grab at each other, desperate after your time apart. His slide up your back and shoulders to keep you close, not letting you pull away from him for a second. His tongue slides against yours in the most delicious way and the only thought running through your brain is getting that tongue someplace else. His breathing is loud in your ears, every second feels like making up for lost time and it’s crazy because you were only gone for like five days. But you’ll be damned if it wasn’t the longest 5 days of your life.

“Sit on my face,” He all but begs against your lips, hands now pulling your hips against his, something hard at your hip, “Baby, please? Let me show you.”

You could never say no to him. You let him drag you down the hallway, never stopping kissing, touching, grabbing you. You giggle against his lips at the way he absolutely refuses to pull away from you to see properly, even when he accidentally backs into the corner of the wall between the hallway and your shared bedroom. Once you’re in the room, he’s sinking to his knees in front of you.

It’s not often you see him like this, and it always takes your breath away. All big eyes and natural seduction as he pops the button of your jeans and drags them down and off your legs. He sits back for a second, letting his hands run up your calves and thighs, letting one thumb rub against your clothed clit. Your eyes flutter, but you don’t break eye contact.

You watch in a daze as he rubs circles, he watches you back, upping the pressure until your mouth drops open on a gasp and your hips push forward. He hums, pleased, and leans forward, taking the fabric on your panties between his teeth, using his hands to assist the fabric down your legs to pool at your ankle.

Your whole body is vibrating with anticipation as he slowly gets back up on his feet. His eyes stay locked on yours as he walks past you and lays himself across your shared bed. Once settled, he smirks,

“Gonna make me wait all night?”

Your desire to wipe the insufferable smirk off his face is only a secondary reason for how fast you find yourself scrambling up the bed to straddle his face. He laughs at your urgency and your heart swells a little at how much you just missed him. Once you’re in position he turns his head, kissing sloppily at your inner thigh, trailing up and up and up until his lips are brushing against the junction between your thighs and your pelvis. His head settles back against the pillow and for a moment you think you’ll die if he doesn’t start doing something. And just when you think you can’t take any more of his intense stare and the building anticipation, he’s using his hands on your ass to tug you down, sitting you fully on his face.

His tongue immediately goes to work, lapping at your folds and using the hands on your body to make you rock against his face. Your hands fly to his hair, desperately needing something to hold on to as the pleasure zolts through your body.

“Oh shit,” You gasp, high pitched and breathy as your clit bumps and rubs against his nose. All at once, the room is too hot, and you're tugging at your shirt, practically ripping it from your body and working just as quickly to take your bra off.

He moans excitedly underneath you, eyes lighting up when your boobs bounce free, one hand sliding up your body to squeeze one, his fingers teasing and tugging at your nipples.

You work your hips up and down on his face, moaning with every hum and grunt he lets out against your pussy. You're moaning loudly, probably too loudly, but you couldn’t give less of a shit about that when his tongue dips into your entrance. He knows you love that, the feeling of him, warm and sofuckingwet wiggling inside of you. You can’t help to way your hips move to grind back on the movement, letting him fuck you with his tongue.

He’s making you feel so good, you wouldn’t be surprised if his chin and neck were drenched. And it’s that thought that sends heat through your, your orgasm starting to race towards you faster than you anticipated.

“Merriell, oh fuck, I’m-” You start to warn, fingers tugging on his hair hard to keep him where you need him. You’re riding that edge, between holding back and giving in, on the cusp of orgasm when your eyes meet his. You had expected him to look cocky beneath you, smug as he usually is when he gets you off. But the man beneath you is desperate. He looks like he’s getting just as much pleasure from this as you are, cheeks flushed, eyebrows pulled down in such a way that if you didn’t know any better you’d say he was in pain.

It’s the knowledge that he gets off on this that does it for you. His name tumbles off your lips and you can hear him moaning, borderline whining, beneath you, muffled by your thighs that threaten to cut off his oxygen completely. You collapse beside him, panting through the aftershocks of your orgasm as he catches his breath.

“Fuck, I missed you.” you sigh, turning to drape yourself over his still fully clothed body.

He laughs, capturing your mouth in a filthy kiss that tastes like you, “Not nearly as much as I missed you.”

You hum, agreeing to disagree. You then glance down his body, seeing if you could repay the favor only to find a wet spot at the front of his jeans. You look back up at him, heat once again rushing to the crux of your legs, “Did you...?”

He grins, not in the least bit embarrassed, “Ya looked so good baby, I couldn’ta stopped it if I tried.”

You grin back at him, letting your hands run through his hair as you gaze at each other, basking in the afterglow, “Sorry I pulled your hair so hard.” You say after a moment, becoming aware of the stiffness in your fingers from their grip.

“You know I don’t mind,” He quips, lips tugging into a small smirk, “use them reigns, girl.”

You both fall into an easy laughter, tangled up with each other on ruffled sheets. It felt almost like you had never left. Except for the persistent need between your legs.

“I could go again,” You admit, placing a wet kiss on his shoulder, letting your legs tangle further with his, “could you?”

You know he’s not hard, you’d be able to feel it. But the gleam in his eyes and how quickly he moves to lay between your legs on his stomach tells you that him not being hard isn’t going to stop you from getting another.

“Think I’ve got a way to pass the time ‘til I can.” He bites at your thigh, enjoying the gasp that leaves your lips at the slight pain, your hands already finding their way to his hair again, “and don’t worry, you can pull my hair as much as you want while I’m down here.”

#merriell shelton x reader #merriell shelton #snafu shelton #snafu x reader #merriell shelton smut #smut

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clairecrive · 3 years

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can u make a nikolai x reader based on the song mr perfectly fine by taylor swift?

Mr Perfectly fine

A/n: Ahh, thank to you friend, I've been jamming to this song every day lmao Hope I've done it justice x Also, I've left out some parts of the lyrics to make it better fit the story.

(if you want, you can add yourself to my taglist here)

for my other masterlists, you can find them on my navigation page

Word count: more than 7K (ikik it took a life of his own, what can I say)

Warnings: bit of fluff, angst (like a lot), character's death, spoiler if you haven't read Siege and Storm

Tagging: @jupiterandbutterflies (Thank you so much for your comment! I saw it and it made my day✨)

(I don't remember where I took this from so if you know pls lmk)

Most people knew of Nikolai Lanstov. He was a prince, the second born and the most charming. Most people knew him thanks to the countless rumours that went around at court: supposedly he was not of royal blood. "Sobachka" was what they called him.

No matter how though, everyone knew of the last Lanstov prince. But very little knew him.

Meeting him wasn't difficult. Since he had been of age, Nikolai had always been out of the Grand Palace and among people. He’d also volunteered to enlist in the first army, refusing any kind of special treatment and fought beside his brothers in arms in the infantry. That was part of the reason why everyone outside the court loved him so much.

Being Grisha meant that fighting in the Second Army was mandatory. Not that you minded. There was nothing you wanted more for your people than to finally be free. Also, that Shadow Fold needed to go and as the Darkling has always said, all efforts are necessary.

That’s how you met Nikolai the first time. Generally, the First and the Second Army were stationed in different parts of the campsite. Numerous quarrels between oprichniki and Grisha had rendered the separation necessary. However, you never liked crowds much and living in the Little Palace meant that you were always surrounded by people. So, every chance you had to draw away and be by yourself for a while, you took it. Also, being a Healer meant that you’d spent more time in your assigned tent taking care of soldiers than among them.

Word had gone around that everyone in need could come to you. Usually, you had been instructed by the Darkling that your powers were reserved for Grisha. However, what good was it to have the ability to cure people and only take care of a selected few that very rarely got seriously injured? Meanwhile, soldiers of the First Army often suffered from severe injuries, fatal gunshots or knife wounds. You could help them and possibly save their lives so why shouldn’t you?

That was why Nikolai found you one night. Sure at that point it was just another nameless soldier to you. He had never been in your tent before so you had never seen his face before. The boy whose arm he had draped on his shoulders though, was a usual visitor of yours.

“Oh, Petyr, what happened this time?” gesturing to his blond friend to lay him down on the table, you started gathering everything you needed. Not that you needed much but you had found out that Petyr was absolutely incapable of bearing having his bones or injuries in general repaired without having some kind of pain reliever before.

After a few tries, you came up with a herbal composition that dulled the pain but didn’t make him unconscious. Using kvas would mean that Petyr would be knocked out for a couple of hours. That would put him in trouble with his superiors.

“He’s a fool, that’s what happened.” The explanation came from his friend after he put him down gently. Despite his words, you could hear in his tone worry and guilt?

“If saving your life makes me a fool then go ahead and call me one,” Petyr huffed in pain.

“Who knew you were so brave, uh?” After quickly shredding the herbs you needed, you poured hot water on it and brought the cup to Petyr’s lips while helping him keep his head up.

“He’s the bravest of us all,”

“If I knew it took a bullet wound to make you hand out compliments so easily, I would have done it sooner.” Scoffed Petyr after sending you a thankful look.

“See? What did I tell you? A fool,” his friend said dramatically and you smiled amused at their playful banter.

“Let’s see what we’re dealing with, shall we?” You said out loud to warn both Petyr and his friend. Letting them know what was about to happen was best, your experience taught you. Both for the person on the table that could brace themselves for what was about to happen and for the person with him that was filled with worry and cautiousness. Oprichniki didn’t trust Grisha that much.

After assessing the damage, you let out a relieved sigh as the bullet had gotten through and it had not hit any major artery. It had already got infected though, so you knew it would be a painful one to treat.

“So, did you receive any letters lately, Pety?” You ask, suggestively wiggling your eyebrows while your hands cover the wound. You had your eyes closed to better focus but you were sure that he had rolled his eyes.

“Only from my mum.”

“Don’t tell me you didn’t write her back,” you said, opening your eye just in time to send him a glare.

“Ugh, not this again, y/n, please. Have mercy on me, I’m bleeding all over the table.” Petyr moaned making his friend snicker.

“You’re not bleeding all over the table and if you didn’t notice, I’m already taking care of you, am I not? That doesn’t excuse you for being an idiot, though.”

“Are you two in cahoots or something? It’s not fair. Wounded man over here.”

“Oh shut up.” Both you and his blond friend said at the same time. Petyr moaned once again and you sent a little amused smile to the blondie.

“Should I leave you with a cool battle scar? Maybe acting like a war hero will give you the balls to write to her.” You harmlessly threatened him but your hands were already reconnecting the tissue of his skin without letting it scar.

“I’ve told you, y/n. She deserves better than what I can give her. I am, who knows if I even make it home? I’d be only stringing her along.” Now Petyr was dead serious. It was true, you had talked about this often since he was a regular you got to know him better and he had soon told you about his sweet Katia.

While his friend chanted “fool” like a mantra in the background, you took his bloodied hand in yours, his wound fully healed.

“Petyr, how do you think she’s gonna react when she learns that there hasn’t been any delay to her letters but you’re just ignoring her? Besides, you should let her make this decision too. Who knows, she’ll surprise you.” Squeezing his hand you turned to let your words settle and to put away your utensils. You knew you had given him so much food for thought so you didn’t address the subject anymore. His friend helped him off the table and that’s when you noticed that he was injured too. He had a pretty nasty cut on his lower lip and there was already a bruise forming on his temple.

“Petyr, you can sit on my chair while I take care of your friend. You should be fine but for at least a while don’t stress your body.”

Mentally making a list of the things you need to tend to this kind of wound and where you kept them, you started collecting before heading back to them.

Petyr had sat down but his friend was still standing.

“You don’t have to lie down if you don’t want to, but unless you don’t want me to go take a ladder or something, it would be best if you sat on the table.” You gave him your best reassuring smile as you mixed the healing paste. Sometimes, men didn’t like to put themselves in a vulnerable position with someone they didn’t know and had learned to fear. He wasn’t that badly hurt and it would only take a couple of seconds to fix but not every oprichniki was comfortable with being healed by Grisha power. So the paste would do your job for you. It would take longer, sure and it would also sting a lot more but at least he’d be healed at last.

After looking at you for a little while, the blond man did as you instructed, giving you a dazzling smile in return when you settled between his legs to fix his cut.

“The name is Nikolai or handsome if you prefer.” It was not the first time a wounded soldier tried to flirt with you. IT didn’t bother you, you found them amusing more than anything and you knew it was the allure of someone taking care of them speaking more than any real interest.

“Let’s hope you won’t be around here much for me to learn your name.”

“I’ll have to find another way to make myself unforgettable then.” He winked at you before hopping off the table.

You didn’t address his words, only gave them the paste you had prepared. It would prevent any wound from being infected and would be able to cure small cuts and bruises if applied for a couple of days. With that, you sent them both on their way. Petyr waving you goodbye while Nikolai sent you another wink.

And so this was how it all started.

Mr. "Perfect face"

Mr. "Here to stay"

Mr. "Looked me in the eye and told me you would never go away"

Everything was right

Despite your fellow Grisha, military life could be a bit alienating. Which sounded like a paradox, sure, but everyone had their own way of processing trauma and emotions and of course there were plenty of those during the war. If the best way to come to terms with everything that happened was to distance yourself from others and try to find the solution in solitude, it could get to the point where you’d feel alone in a room full of people.

To get a little respite, you’d usually go on a long walk or resort to stargaze. Sometimes, depending on where you were posted, it wasn’t safe to leave the campsite. So, that’s how Nikolai found you one night. Even he had to take a breather once in a while. Being a different version of yourself based on who you’re interlocutor was must be exhausting. Of course, you didn’t know this. You knew nothing about Nikolai at that point if not that he was Petyr’s friend and a socialite, according to other soldiers.

He seemed to be at the centre of gossip no matter what group of people you found yourself with and there also seemed to be a consensus about him. Everyone liked him. Even if it was rare for some Grisha to appreciate oprichniki, you knew they somewhat respected him because if they didn’t praise him out loud, they didn’t speak ill of him either.

“Not a fan of crowds, are you?” he announced his presence before sitting down beside you.

“I love them, I really do. It’s just that sometimes it gets too much.”

“Yeah, I know how you feel.”

“You do? Everyone seems to think you’re a socialite.”

“It’s what I want them to think but alas, I enjoy being more complex and multifaceted than that.” He lightly bumped your shoulder with his, eyes aflame with mischief.

“I bet.” you simply smirked. Despite how everyone seemed to think they knew him, you got the peculiar vibe from him, like there was a lot more to him than what he let everyone see.

“No one seems to know much about you.”

“Maybe you’ve talked to the wrong people.”

“Well, then I guess it’s better if I got straight to the source, don’t you think?”

“That will surely be a better start. Not sure you’ll find what you’re looking for though.”

“We’ll see.”

That night had been the first of many. It had become a sort of an unspoken arrangement between the two of you. While it didn’t last long, you sensed that you got to know him better than everyone. There was something about late nights meetings under the stars that prompted deep and meaningful conversations. It wasn’t hard to form a solid bond with him after a few nights.

The conversations weren’t always personal in the conventional sense. You’d often stray and talk about the most bizarre things. Like why something had the name it had or how cool it’d be if it was possible to pass through surfaces, which led to imagine all the uncomfortable situations one could find themselves in if they were to simply go into a room through its wall.

Nikolai was witty, overly confident and ambitious and he knew a lot of things. You always wondered how he had learned them since he was so young and been in the army for a couple of years already. But Nikolai was never too forward on certain topics, his family and childhood being some of those. You understood, those were sore subjects for you too. So you never insisted. It was much more interesting to listen to him rumble about impossible future projects of his, like a flying ship.

"When people say impossible, they usually mean improbable." He’d say whenever you’d point it out to him. Somehow, despite the absolute absurdity of them, the sheer confidence that he seemed to constantly exude, made you consider the possibility of his success.

You got the distinct feeling that there was nothing this man couldn’t do.

But that was when I got to know Mr. "Change of heart"

Mr. "Leaves me all alone," I fall apart

It takes everything in me just to get up each day

But it's wonderful to see that you're okay

But, alas, as all things do, these encounters of yours also got to an end. You knew it would happen, you were both soldiers so your lives were both heavily characterised by uncertainty after all. However, you were not prepared for it to end so abruptly though. And without an apparent reason. Because Nikolai’s unit hadn’t been posted elsewhere and he hadn’t been fatally wounded. You would have heard of it were that the case. But it wasn’t.

You thought that he had come to cherish your nightly encounters too. Some of those had been full of his promises. How he’d love for you to be around when he’d eventually find the time to work on his ideas. How you had been a nice surprise, a most interesting person among so many dull idiots you were surrounded by every day. How he’d come to value your opinions and presence in his life and that he was going to find a way to make sure that that would never change. Promises that turned to be empty.

You had never allowed yourself to fully believe him. It wasn’t the first time that a boy had made the same kind of promises but Nikolai looked sincere. Honest enough to be believable. But, of course, you had been wrong.

You didn’t realise just how much you had come to rely on him until he was gone. You tried to keep your mind off him and luckily the perfect distraction came your way. The Darkling had scheduled an attack on the enemy’s army and had posted you to be on the field to take care of everyone promptly. You had never been more grateful to the man, even after he had given her a home and a purpose.

Ever since your first encounter with Nikolai, you had thought it had been a blessing. However, you had soon changed your mind and now considered a curse more than anything. Why? Because as soon as you got to the field you couldn’t help but scour the troops for a familiar mop of blond hair. Many looked like him and being this far you couldn’t be sure that he wasn’t one of them but you certainly despised the leap your heart made every time though. That was a distraction you couldn’t afford. Besides, it wasn’t smart to let your heart get involved in times of war.

The battle began, Inferni and Squallers were working together to impair the enemy’s visual so they couldn’t shoot or use their cannons while the First Army marched after them to swap in as soon as the air cleared to catch the enemy by surprise. While your role wasn’t active per se, you were a Corporalki after all, and even if you had been specifically trained as Healer, you had also got one of your friends to teach you the basics of an Heartrender’s work. You weren’t a powerful one but you could hold your ground in a fight. Especially since they weren’t expecting you. And you were still far from any real threat.

The battle dragged on and soon there were wounded soldiers that needed your attention. You hated this kind of work, it was messy and dirty and had to be quick because spending too much time on one soldier could mean dooming another to death. You were accustomed to it by now and soon found a rhythm focusing on ensuring everyone’s survival and not bothering with the aesthetic side of healing. That could be taken care of later if they wanted to.

As soon as your eyes fell onto a crouched figure you sprinted towards them. It was dirty and you didn’t recognize them but you got the feeling it was a life or death situation. Oh, how you wanted to be wrong.

The person crouching turned out to be Nikolai and he wasn’t alone. He was kneeling beside someone, Petyr.

“Where are you hurt?” you hurriedly asked as you tried to assess the damage. His uniform was dirty and full of blood but you couldn’t figure out where it was coming from. Trying to answer you, Petyr opened his mouth only to let out the most gruesome gurgling sound as his respiratory tract was flooded by blood.

“He got shot in the gut.” Nikolai offered.

“Is the bullet still inside?” Opening his uniform jacket you tore a piece from his shirt to use it to put pressure on the wound.

“It’s too late,” Nikolai uttered.

“No.” You strongly refused as you removed the cloth and focused on the wound. His heart was straightening and he had already lost a lot of blood. If the bullet was still inside that it was going to be a problem, if it wasn’t then you still had a fighting chance.

“I removed it earlier.” So that was why he had lost so much blood. Nodding your head to show that you had heard him, you set out to stop the internal bleeding. Slowing his heartbeat so that it was pumping less blood and thus eased your endeavour. You were still in the middle of the field and while you were keeping up with the warfare but in the back of your mind, you registered the sounds of screaming and of gunshots getting closer. A bullet hit you in the shoulder propelling you forward over Petyr’s body. Grisha’s kefta were bulletproof so you weren’t worried for your incolumity but for the harsh movement you had made.

Leaning back, you heard Nikolai calling for you but your eyes were trained on Petyr. You tried to listen for his heartbeat but could only hear two instead of three. Nikolai, who had never left your side, immediately understood what had happened by the fall of your shoulders and the tensing of your hands.

He kept calling for you but the only thing you could focus on was that you had let your friend down. Now there will be one more family crying for a loss, another girl mourning a lost loved one. And it was all your fault. It was because of you that Petyr wouldn’t live to see another day, to write another letter or to fight another battle. It was on you.

The details of what happened next were a bit blurred. Someway you must have found your way back to the campsite. Whether you did on your own after tending to everyone else, you didn’t know. Your memories picked up after you woke up in your tent. Someone was calling your name, saying that the Darkling wanted to see you.

Mechanically you raised and made your way to the Darkling’s tent but your mind was elsewhere. Your thoughts were plagued by Petyr’s face, by that godforsaken sound he made when he tried to speak. The realisation that he was gone hit you like a wall of brick that would have made you stumble if you weren't’ sat in front of the Darkling’s desk. Whether he was speaking and stopped after seeing the forlorn look in your eyes or he hadn’t been speaking at all, you didn’t realize. You did hear him say that you were going to be posted somewhere. Under different circumstances you have said something, anything to not let him send you away. Your mind immediately went to Nikolai. You’d be leaving him behind along with the campsite.

However, you now realised that you had already lost him. Losing Petyr had been the last thing that had completely severed your bond. There was no turning back now and part of you was grateful.

Hello Mr. "Perfectly fine"

How's your heart after breaking mine?

I've been Miss "Misery" since your goodbye

And you're Mr. "Perfectly fine"

You couldn’t know, of course, but Nikolai had left not long after you did. Albeit for a different reason. He had finally earned the Major rank and as such, he took a step back from military life deciding that his skill would be better suited for a life on the sea. Assuring Ravka the supply she needed but in ways that weren’t exactly suitable for a prince but worked just fine for a privateer. And thus Sturmhond came to life.

As for you, you kept doing your job at your new post but were relieved when a letter came from the Darkling instructing that you were needed at the Little Palace. Part of you had relegated Nikolai to that part of your mind where the unmentionable was, however, a traitor thought whispered that maybe there was a chance that you could see him at the royal grounds. Sure, the possibilities were close to zero but it was still possible, right?

No.

You already were ashamed of the fact that you’re still suffering because of him. And yes, you missed him but you weren’t going to indulge the pathetic hope of seeing him again.

He doesn’t want to see you. If he did, he would have already found you. Or write you a letter if he couldn’t, but he didn’t.

You were right. You knew you were, nonetheless, the thought only brought you a bittersweet feeling.

You found the Little Palace just how you’d left it and yet it seemed changed in a way. The insane amount of work you found there waiting for you helped you drown the feeling that it was you that had changed.

Months passed this way, sometimes the Darkling would post you with him or outside the Little Palace. All in all, you’ve kept busy. When news of the little prince leaving the Palace reached you, you let it wash over you. It wasn’t like it mattered much, whether he was a few feet away or in another nation, Nikolai wasn’t part of your life either way.

When the whole expansion of the Fold happened, you were stationed at the Little Palace. Chaos and terror ensued as soon as the news reached the capital making most of the Grisha flee. Most of them went looking for the Darkling while others simply ran away and hid. You were amongst the first group.

Soon, your life was radically changed. The shift in the Darkling was palpable and it didn’t have anything to do with the scars on his face. You had tried your best to heal them and Genya to tailor them away but somehow, they could not be removed. It was an unsettling thing to realize that they didn’t take away his beauty. One could even say that they enhanced his attractiveness.

He was certainly more powerful. None of you knew what had happened in the Fold that day, just that the Sun Summoner had fled and that there were no survivors apart from him. However, as your journey in pursuit of Alina dragged on, you were soon witnesses of his newfound power.

The nichevo’ya, he called them.

He had always been immensely powerful. One of a kind. But this- this was different. And as dread settled among your group as you watched them in action, realisation sat heavily on your shoulders.

He soon found a trail and traced Alina in Novyi Zem and set out to reach the island by hiring Sturmhond’s crew. He was a famous pirate after all and despite his unreliability, the Darkling was sure that as long as he got his money, he wouldn't be a problem.

In the round trip, you didn’t see much of the captain anyway. Some members of his crew were amiable enough, particularly the Yul-Baatar twins. You had even asked Tamar to spar with you from time to time. Your lessons with Botnik were a distant memory and you knew that mastering combat training skills could increase your chance at survival.

When Alina and Mal were held captive though, that’s when Sturmhond made an appearance. He looked younger than you’d thought and there was something oddly familiar in the way he held himself. Still, you didn't talk with him much. Your job was to take care of Alina and so you spent most of your time in her room.

It wasn’t until the Darkling asked Mal to track Rusalye and consequently spent more time with Alina that you had a chance to talk with him. It was during one of your night shifts when he approached you, the Darkling had wanted some of his to always be patrolling the ship.

“What could possibly make a little thing like you be amidst this wretched company?”

“It’s all a matter of perspective, I guess.”

“The thrill of adventure?”

“There’s plenty of it everywhere you go if you’re Grisha, even if you just go on a stroll.”

“Is that why you follow him?”

“I owe everything to him.”

“I’m sure you realize your role in this.”

“Of course I do. I’m not some naive girl who has a crush on her general.”

“Ah, so who, pray tell, do you have a crush on then, beautiful lady?”

“You’re certainly noisy for a pirate.”

“Privateer,” he corrected you, “there’s not much to do around here is it?”

“Not if you have everyone taking care of it, no.”

“Amuse me.”

“It isn’t wise to let the heart get involved in times of war.” That was all you were willing to share. Yes, he was handsome. Yes, the twinkle in his eyes was oddly familiar but he was a stranger. A dangerous one.

“Those sound like words spoken from experience.”

“Maybe.”

“Well, I’d say it’s no fun to only think about war. Life is so much more.”

“Believe me, if I could, it’d be the last thing on my mind. But, alas, l don’t have the privilege to do so.”

You had already lost too much time speaking with him. If someone were to see you or tell the Darkling you’d be in trouble. And you had made it your goal to never put yourself on the path of the Darkling’s anger. So you excused yourself and went back to your rounds.

If only you had stayed and talked to him more maybe you would have understood what was about to happen. Maybe you would have had an enkindling of Sturmhond’s plans. Instead, you were taken by surprise, just like everyone in your group, when Rusalye was spot and a shot was fired. You had found yourself in the uncomfortable position of having to fight against people you had grown to like.

“I don’t want to hurt you, y/n,” Tamar warned you as you stood face to face on the sinking ship dock. Her trusted axes in her hands while your hands were raised ready to attack.

“I don’t want to hurt you either.”

“Then you don’t have to. Come with us.” Her proposition made you gasp.

“That would be treason,” you whispered hoping that the Darkling wasn’t around to hear you. A shiver ran through you as you thought of the punishment he’d give you for even thinking about leaving his side.

“Then you leave me no choice.” She said lowering her arms. Was that guilt you heard in her voice?

Before you could voice your question though, she shouted for her brother and not even a second later, you felt your body grow still. Your eyebrows faltered as you felt your heartbeat slow down.

They were Grisha.

They must have seen you realise because you heard Tamar apologize before everything went black.

Mr. "Never told me why"

He goes about his day

Forgets he ever even heard my name

Well, I thought you might be different than the rest, I guess you're all the same

You didn’t stay out for long though. As soon as Sturmhond’s crew had left the Darkling’s ship and had safely made it onto the Volkvolny, the privateer had asked for you to be awakened.

There wasn’t enough light for you to realize you were on another ship, what alerted you of your new situation were your hands. They had bound them behind your back. Immediately you started to struggle, hoping to wiggle out of the restraints. To no avail though. Huffing out in frustration, you settled for looking around you and see if there was something you could use. That’s when you noticed him.

“Release me- this instant, or else-”

“Or what? You’re a Healer. Not exactly a violent job, is it?” Sturmhond interrupted you, a smirk on his face since he had the upper hand.

“I don’t need my powers to kick you in the ass, do I?” He laughed but didn’t look remotely threatened. Rather amused, actually.

“Please, you have to let me go. He’ll kill me if-” Panic started to build as you realized that there was no way you could successfully escape.

“He won’t touch you.” A solemn glow took over his eyes. “He won’t ever hurt you again, you have my word.” He promised, looking subtly at your left shoulder. You winced as you realized that he must have seen your scars. The ones left by the Darkling’s niche’voya.

“How can I know if you’re trustworthy? You don’t exactly have a good score, you know?”

“You’re going to find out soon enough. Don’t worry.”

Of course, he didn’t bother offering further explanations. He’d left it at that. You weren’t a captive per se but he left your hands bound, only freeing them when you needed to eat or relieve yourself.

Fruitless were your efforts in making you tell more. He often ate with you and would check in at least twice a day but that was it.

It wasn’t until after you had landed after that forsaken vehicle of his had gotten you through the Fold that you understood. His coming out as Nikolai Lanstov, prince and second in line for the Ravkan throne, had shaken you all to your core. However, you doubted that it had sent a pang to the others’ hearts as it did with yours.

Nikolai Lantsov. The man you had been dreaming about, the one that had left you behind without any sort of explanations, the one you missed so dearly, had been by your side all this time.

You weren’t sure how you felt. It made sense now why his eyes looked familiar and his posture. You then connected that the vehicle you had used in the Fold had been one of the many projects he used to geek about with you. It tasted a lot like betrayal. Not because he had lied to you about his name but because he had tried to get close to you again and had managed to somehow break that growing bond again.

'Cause I hear he's got his arm 'round a brand-new girl

I've been pickin' up my heart, he's been pickin' up her

So dignified in your well-pressed suit

So strategized, all the eyes on you

Oh, he's so smug, Mr. "Always wins"

So far above me in every sense

So far above feeling anything

Even if his secret had been outed thus causing some shift in the dynamics between Nikolai and the two new members of his crew - you suspected Mal was closer to punching him every second that passed- not much had changed for you.

On the outside, you pretty much looked like a prisoner. Albeit a very clean one. You rode with them, hands still bound, scowl ever-present on your face.

Nikolai had not come to see you ever since that night after the Fold. And now it had been almost a week since you had started your journey back to the capital. Whether this was all part of his plan to make you look the part of the captive even more or he was just gutless, you didn't know. It was working either way though.

You liked to think that his reason was simply that he didn't care. He had far too much on his plate right now as it was. Going back to court after years of absence while also making claims to the throne and trying to sway the Sun Summoner your way. It was no easy feat. But hadn't he always liked to say that impossible often meant improbable? A lot of things had changed since that night but even so, you'd still pose your bet on him that he'd be able to achieve anything he set his mind to.

It wasn't exactly that thinking this way brought you actual comfort. Of course, not. But it was better than foolishly hoping for him to still care about you the way you did for him. After all, he had sent plenty of signals that pointed in the other direction.

But then why did he kidnap you? Why take you with him? You weren't that close to the Darkling to be of any use to Nikolai in that way. And, as a matter of fact, no one had come to interrogate you regarding his plans or whereabouts. Then why?

You still couldn't figure it out.

Some days your anger shifted more to frustration and you were ounces away from asking for him yourself. Almost as if he had heard you though, he gave you the final push.

It was the usual day, Nikolai and Alina were riding in the carriage, stopping in every village we passed to meet with the locals. However, this time, before climbing back into the carriage, they kissed.

You were too far to figure out who started it and the details. The gist of it was enough though.

You most certainly were a fool. Still thinking about a guy who didn't give two shits about you, who had kidnapped you putting you in a dangerous situation and you were still wondering whether he felt something for you or not? Pathetic.

You had to do something about your situation and quickly too. Officially, you were a traitor. You had fled and joined the Darkling, that wouldn't make you look good in front of the king. He was a lousy bastard anyway and will probably sentence you to death to set an example. You hadn't survived so much shit to end up at the end of a rope.

So, even though you had initially thought against it since you were so close to home, you decided to escape. You were already headed towards certain death so what was the worst that could happen?

Your hands were left unbound when you were in your tent. One less problem to solve. Closing your eyes, you focused on listening for any nearby heartbeats. You heard two, those of the guards posted outside your tent. Maybe you could find an excuse to call them inside, put them to sleep and then slip away.

That was not exactly what your powers were for but you were desperate. You had to at least try.

And so you did. You called them in and immediately set out to slow their heartbeats. You had almost succeeded in putting them under when someone else slipped in. The last person you wanted to see.

"Am I that bad of a host?"

You didn't meet his ruse though, you knew it would make you lose focus.

"I'm afraid I have to ask you to release my soldiers." As soon as he said it though, they fell unconscious at last. Your chest was heaving by now, using so much power in such a different way was costing you. But you couldn't back down now. It was one on one and you were Grisha and a woman scorned. He stood no chance.

"Move out of my way, your highness."

"I'm afraid I can't do that."

"You can or I can make you. Your choice." The venom in your voice was unmistakable and it took him by surprise. He gave you a curious look tilting his head to the side like he was seeing you for the first time over again.

"I didn't realize ruthlessness was one of your personality traits."

"You know nothing about me," you seethed. The tip of your fingers flexed, the tension in the room could be cut with a knife and you were already weary.

"It may have been a while y/n, but I like to think I know a good deal about you."

"And I would like to completely erase this last year but you don't hear me yap about how shitty it has been, do you?"

"You never did like opening up much."

"I'm well past the point of sentimentalism, Nikolai. It is coming far too late anyway. And whatever my feelings for you may be, I won't let you put my life on the line." Your posture straightened, stance ready for battle.

His eyes flashed, jaw clenched. His hands closed in fists and he almost looked hurt. But why would he?

"Is that what you think all of this is?" Nikolai always acted aloof. He was always composed and dignified. You had thought it was for his insane amount of self-confidence but now you understood it was for how he was raised. But you recognised the pout on his lips. It was the expression he’d always have whenever he tried to get something from getting to him. To prevent himself from showing emotions.

"You're holding me captive while you go around Ravka parading your latest conquest, flashing your return everywhere. I don't know why you're doing this but I don't care. I've stopped waiting around for you and I certainly won't let your father put me to death."

"You think I'd let him?"

"So you want to do this?" you threw your hands up in exasperation, "Fine. You really want to know what I think?"

"Be my guest."

"I think that the Nikolai I knew would have left out of the blue without so much as a letter. I think that the Nikolai I knew was ready to go to any length to achieve what he believed in. However, I thought that the Nikolai I knew cared about me and what we had but look at me now. So maybe, I know nothing at all."

"You certainly do seem to know a lot of things. But you’re not wrong."

"If this is the way you care about me," I gesture to my tent, "then I'm not sure I want this Nikolai to care for me."

“This,” he said, emulating your gesture, “is to keep you safe. This is my way to ensure that if the Darkling got news of your whereabouts, he’d be sure not to think you willingly left his side and betrayed him.”

“That’s because I didn’t!” You raised your voice in outrage. The nerve of this man.

“Spare me your indignation. I know you hate being at his beck and call, to do his dirty work and be constantly surrounded by warfare.”

“Do not presume to speak for me.” You snapped. You knew it was best to keep a cool head but his cockiness was getting on your nerves.

“Didn’t you? Hate it, I mean.”

“We’re at war, Nikolai. Being away or close to the Darkling won’t change that. At least with him, I was safe.”

“You can’t be that delusional to think that he was protecting you.” He scoffed at your words as if they were the most absurd thing he had ever heard.

“And you can’t be that delusional to think that bringing me back won’t result in your father killing me.” You fired back shifting on your feet. He winced as if you had physically hurt him.

“You have so little faith in me?” His voice was just above a whisper and you knew that your words had struck a chord.

“How can I have any, Nikolai?” your voice softened a bit. “One day you’re telling me how much you value my opinion, you promise me a future where I’d be the first to see your project come to life and then you left. You just left, Nikolai.” And when I was starting to make my peace with it that’s when you come back? Also, let’s not forget about my abduction and your flirting with Alina.”

“So yes, I don’t trust you.” You concluded, crossing your arms on your chest with finality. He just stared at you for the longest time. If someone would come in now, they’d think you were in the middle of a staring contest. Then he sighed and started talking.

“I had to go away. I had already pushed my parents’ limits when I said I wanted to be part of the infantry. So, one day I got a letter written by my father personally and I knew that my time was up. I had been Nikolai for too long, now I had to start being a Lantsov prince.” His eyes were on the ground now, shame making her way in his words.

“So that’s what I did,” he went as he started pacing,”I went to Kerch to study, just like my father wanted. I did what he asked, he couldn’t reproach me anything now. I could never stay too still though, a life of adventure was calling me and I could not ignore it. It was only then that I realized that I could do so much more than sitting in a class, to realistically help Ravka.”

“I couldn’t take you with me. You had such a larger role to play in the army and besides, there wasn’t much I could offer you. So yes, I left. I left thinking that I would find my way back to you eventually.” He had stopped by now, regret was swirling in his shining orbs as he looked at you.

“You could have told me.” You contestated, taken back by all the information he gave you. “I would have waited for you.” A whispered promise for something that would never be now.

“I was afraid, y/n. That’s not my best moment, I know and no number of apologies could ever make it right. But I was afraid of your answer. I knew I’d be asking for a lot and let’s be honest-” the desperation in his tone was evident now, he had unconsciously started to lean towards you but you knew what he was about to say.

“You weren’t sure if the future you were offering me would just end up with me being your mistress, am I right?” Your tone hardened but despite the insulting implication of what you said, you weren’t made at him.

“I’m a prince, y/n. We do not marry for love and this country cannot afford to disregard the advantages that a political union could bring.”

His honesty was as refreshing as it was unsettling. He was right. As soon as you had learned he was a prince, you realized just what kind of future you could have with him. But then he left and that problem did not exist anymore. Neither of you spoke, both of you were seizing the other. You had laid it all out, defences were down putting you both in a vulnerable position.

And someday maybe you'll miss me

“You should have talked to me, Nikolai. We could have figured it out together. If it came to being your mistress to stay with you, then that was my decision to make.” You said softly after a while. It pained for you to say this, you would have never thought that getting closure would hurt this much.

Tears streamed on both of your faces, in front of you had been laid what your future could have looked like. It was everything you had wanted, you could still do your job and have the man of your dreams. You were surprised to find that you wouldn’t mind sharing him with his supposed wife. You had been at court for enough time to know how most marriages went. If he assured you it was only a diplomatic affair but that his heart was yours, that would have been enough. Who knows, maybe she’ll get a lover too.

But now… now you didn’t know if you could ignore everything that happened. You did not trust him nor could you ignore how hurt you were by his lack of communication and thus of trust in you.

But by then, you'll be Mr. "Too late"

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