#if im bored with a household i like moving on to a new one and still seeing my prev sims existing in the world
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anyone else exclusively play the sims with aging off or max length lifespans
#my stories are too intricate to be interrupted by default age settings#also i avoid letting my sims die at all cost#if im bored with a household i like moving on to a new one and still seeing my prev sims existing in the world#i get too attached to these little pixel people#also finally figured out how to bring trans characteristics to sims 2 (kind of) and you know ive been having a blast :)
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(looks at the time, midnight) perfect time for posting!
silly little animatic for a silly little au i will yap about under the cut. but basically, the shadows are humans, and gold is the illegitimate son of mr. golden, so he has to deal with lots of shit. also i KNOW the audio is not synced but IM NOT editing that again. i refuse
ok i will probably not make an actual comic or anything for the au so ill just tell you all about it rn even though im eepy and thus will probably forget things. also i didnt read through All Of That a second time so im sorry if theres mistakes or incomprenhensible sentences
uhhh the idea came to me bc i wanted to make human versions of shadows, but i thought itd be boring if all the shadows were just twins of their human with the exact same trauma. dont get me wrong its very interesting to see two characters deal with the same issues very differently but when its ALL of the pairs it can get boring (to ME, this is just my own feelings). so i went hey, famous people seem to never stop cheating, what if we did that instead? and boom gold illegitimate son was born. also when i say mr. golden i dont mean golden's dad, i mean golden and joy's grandpa. I KNOW. GROSS. thats kinda the point. it also wasn't like, a one night stand that went wrong, this man had a whole ass second family. technically not cheating though bc his wife was already dead, but still not good.
so. gold was just living his silly little normal life with his mom and semi-absent father (they would say he was just very busy with work and travelled abroad and all that, which is the exact same excuse he'd give golden when he want visit gold)(also gold's mom was very much aware of the whole thing from the start) when suddenly him and his mom got into a car accident. gold got scars and a broken arm, while his mom took most of the blow. her upper body was mostly okay bc gold was able to see the car coming from her side and instinctively pulled his mom away, but he could only move her upper body to the side, and her lower back and legs took the blow. so, with his mom hospitalized, the authorities obviously asked him to call his dad to come over. so he did, and mr. golden showed up. and obviously the news immediatly caught on to this and made it a scandal. the local rich old guy with a company that has always had a brand of helping society with their innovations turned out to have a second family, and a son who is around his grandchildren's age. how could u NOT report that. anyways, gold's mom needs to be hospitalized for AT LEAST a couple of months, so gold moves in with his dad. and of course, has to face his dad's "official" family.
now, gold had known that he was "illegitimate" for a while now. it was kind of impossible to ignore with golden's popularity. but he had never really processed it fully, it was sort of an unspoken thing that everyone in the household was aware everyone else knew, but no one wanted to mention it. as if by doing so it would suddenly become real and break the illusion of their "perfect" little family. but now he has to deal with the hard truth (and new trauma due to the car crash! yay!). he decides to try and "compensate" the heavy blow that his dad's reputation took for his, uh, existance, and decided to start helping around the company. he immediatly starts taking way too much work, because he feels guilty and wants to feel validated by his dad, to feel like he's also his "real" family, that he deserves to be called his son. and also because he never got that much attention from him anyways. he's now deathly afraid of losing his family, after almost losing his mom, so he tries his absolute best to be everything his dad wants and do everything he says. he was always kind of a pushover, because his dad was always emotionally distant and bareley showed up, but he had his mom around to compensate, but now that he feels he could lose her at any moment, that flaw skyrocketed in intensity.
that attitude also translates with the rest of the family, especially the cousins: golden, joy and jay. golden DOES NOT trust gold. he's convinced that gold started working in the company because he only wants the money, or the fame, or maybe the whole company (since gold would technically be before golden in the heritage, itd be much easier). but that's mostly his own trauma regarding feeling used for money by almost everyone he loves acting up. golden also dislikes gold bc he reminds him of the things he hates about himself, bending over backwards just to get affection from the old fart. soo yeah golden has issues and gold kind of embodies all of them (like a shadow. get it. haha.)
joy tries VERY hard to be nice to gold and seem accepting and like she's okay with all of this but she has very conflicting feelings. she always kind of idealized her grandpa, so knowing that he actually sucks is kind of driving her crazy (she is unaware of how much golden is fucked up bc honestly shes got fucked up in similar ways, having to appeal to her parents for affection and working her ass off as a maid basically, so it just seems normal). also, she feels iffy about gold, she doesn't distrust him like golden, she truly believes gold is just a normal kid, but she's VERY frustrated about the fact that he started working for the company just like that. she always wanted to work alongside her grandpa, she thought the company's ideals were lovely, but she was always shut off because she's a girl. so she explored her passion for music, which was encouraged, but only as a hobby, while golden got to make a succesful career out of it with the help of the family. and now this random kid who had never had ANYTHING to do with the company is working for it and being taught everything she wanted to know. it's completely unfair and it makes her seethe. but she knows its not gold's fault, and she keeps excusing her family, so she just hides it and hides it and tries to pretend she's okay with all of this.
jay is the only person who seems to be ok with gold. she loves attention and she hates being bored, so a sudden family scandal that gives them tons of media attention and makes all of her posts blow up is literally perfect for her. and it's all thanks to gold! she doesn't find him especially interesting as a person, but everything surrounding him is. and hes a total pushover! so she gets to make him carry her stuff, do things for her and crack jokes at his expense all she wants. she also just finds is funny that he's technically her uncle. gold knows that she's taking advantage of him, but he doesn't mind that much, because she at least doesnt hate him like golden and joy seem to do. and sometimes she's not an asshole, sometimes she genuinly enjoys his presence. let's just say that the bar is in hell
also. if i did things right u will probably tell that gold is fat, especially in comparison to the cousins. and thaaats because the golden family is actually naturally fat, but grandpa encouraged them to be thin to "protect them from the media". golden and jay have quite unhealthy habits, while joy just eats healthy and exercises, which is why she's not stick thin. since gold was never meant to be in the public eye he was allowed to just exist so hes a normal kid who doesnt give a fuck. other design notes, the broken arm and scars represents gold's face markings and completely black hand. and i gave him glasses because everyone gives him glasses and i think thats awesome
also uhh he becomes friends with the villains (who are the student council)nbecause owynn wants to get that golden family clout. gold joins the council as an assistant because hey! being useful! he's good at that and it may earn him a friendship. there he meets cami and they immediately recognize that they're similar. always doing what someone asks, always so serious, always calm and efficient, working towards their goal, never taking up space. soo they spends more time together (also bc gold is her assistant) and start leaning on each other. they become close. they also like that they're so blunt with everyone and each other, it makes conversation easier for them. and also they have a crush on each other because of course they do im PREDICTABLE.
uhhh idk if i have anything left to say if u read all of that hi. i love you
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Bond of the Beasts Chapter 12
“School sucks! It was the one thing I totally didn't miss when I was all on my own.” Mu lamented as she entered the school after Hattie and Bow, the latter turned around to make sure her friend was following. The day after Mu was introduced to the remaining two adults, the DJ had insisted to buy her new clothes, an offer that the werewolf girl couldn't really turn down, given that her old clothes had been pretty beat up. She now had a red hoodie which was perfect for covering up her wolf ears and black jeans which were...not too great in making sure it wasn't a pain to hide her tail. The only thing that she couldn't hide was her mustache, but that didn't matter, she was proud of it, no matter what anyone else said.
Bow opened the door to the classroom for her. “Learning things is hard for me too, and I struggle a bit with talking to others, but I enjoy it a lot, it beats what we've been through before.” She said that in a more quiet tone to make sure that the kids that were already in the room didn't hear. Mu just sighed..
“At least tell me that you're sitting next to me.” Bow nodded. When Mu was accepted into class as a new transfer student, Cookie had requested that she could sit next to Bow, thinking that it would help Muriel adjust better if a friend sat next to her. Feeling indeed a bit better about this whole situation now, the red-clothed girl sat down with a huff, thinking that maybe she should act up in class...but that might make it worse for Bow and Cookie, both had been very nice to her. The last few days, the young girl had made due on her promise, keeping her company and helping her settle into the new household. Cookie had been maybe the nicest adult, other than her parents, she had ever met. She was always around if she had a question and had listened to her vent about the Hunters. The DJ had been nice enough to to help her buy clothes, it apparently was surprising him that the Conductor decided to pitch in with paying for them, Bow had informed her that these two didn't really see eye to eye. By a long shot the weirdest and most enigmatic guy in the household had been this Snatcher character, not only did his appearance make her feel on edge, but his whole demeanor. Only Hattie and Cookie seemed to be interacting with him, Bow had been right to warn her.
Mu leaned back in her chair and started to rock back and forth by leaning far back and then moving forward just a bit so the chair was teetering constantly. Bow gave her a concerned look and was about to open her mouth, but Mu interrupted her. “I know what you're going to say 'It's dangerous, Mu, you shouldn't do this, you'll fall!' I don't care, I'm bored and I need some fun in this place.” Bow looked down at her desk, feeling a bit called out. Hattie on the other hand only sighed, she had been reading the same book for what felt like hours. “Hey, nerd, what are you reading there, some kind of ancient history book or something equally as lame?” Mu smirked, wanting to poke fun at the young sorceress, who only shook her head.
“No, it's a magi-” Bow stopped her by putting her hand in front of Hattie's mouth. The other girl recoiled, but understood the issue a moment later, she had forgotten that they were in the middle of school. “Sorry...”
“It doesn't matter what book it is, reading is lame! So is learning...it's sooo boring.” The blonde girl sat back down normally once English class started and they had to read. It was a book about a small fox that got separated from his mother and was trying to find her.
Thanks to having been in school for a few years before her family got found out and hunted down, Muriel was mostly able to read the paragraph she was supposed to read quite easily, only stumbling a little bit when she had to read a more complicated word. Mu didn't seem to care too much anyway about how well she'd do, as long as she would pass the class with a C or at worst a D. It was amazing to Bow just how quickly Hattie had improved in reading compared to her. It wasn't like she wasn't trying to read or get better in school to get rid of the disadvantage the isolation and lack of education given to them in their lives up until this point had created, it was just that Hattie seemed to pick up things a lot better than her. It caused her to feel a bit dumb and inferior to her sister. When Bow's turn came around, the young changeling struggle to read the words, even easy words still felt rather hard to her. Her embarrassment only increased when the other kids in the class started snickering at her subpar reading skills. Her face turned bright red and she sunk into her chair more and more, her paragraph didn't seem to have an end at all, her tears that blurred her eyes half way through, didn't make it any easier on the girl.
Hattie was too busy to notice having opened her magic book behind the book they were actually reading, now that her turned to read had been over. Mu on the other hand noticed, she felt a bit of rage build up in her and she slammed her fist on her desk, she would have loved to call the other children out for their awful behavior, but she couldn't act up, she'd cause problems for Cookie and so she had to just endure it. She placed a hand on the back of the changeling who would have turned a mix of blue and purple if she hadn't taken her potion this morning. The rest of the day, Bow felt down, even playing hide and seek with Hattie and Mu later during recess didn't cheer her up at all. “What's wrong, sis? Why are you so down?” Hat Kid asked after finding her sister way too quickly, normally Bow was excellent at hiding.
“It's noting...You don't need to worry.” Bow forced a smile through which the other girl saw easily.
Hattie's expression softened a bit and she knelt down to the girl that was only halfway hidden behind a bush. “You can't lie to me, Bow, I know that response, something is bothering you a lot.”
Bow just sighed, a bit frustrated that she had to explain the situation now. “You know how everything comes fairly easy to you? You picked up reading really quickly and even in math, you're doing much better...-” She lowered her head in shame, “-I feel a bit stupid.” Like she expected, Hattie didn't laugh at her confession.
Hattie looked at her sister with understanding and concern. “It's just really easy for me, I can't explain it, but I don't think you're stupid. I just have more of a reason to learn quickly.” The other girl tried to reassure, her efforts unfortunately didn't have the expected result, as instead of Bow's happy, cheerful smile, all the young changeling managed was slight raise of her lip that attempted to be a smile, but failed miserably.
Loud footsteps and even louder yelling startled both kids who's heads snapped over to the annoyed girl in the red hood. “Were you trying to make me wait until I turned old and gray?! If I wanted to bore myself to sleep, I'd go back to class and read!” The previously rather depressing atmosphere switched instantly, neither Bow nor Hattie wanted to be subjected to Muriel's anger.
When school finally ended, Mu charged out of school like she die if she spend another second in the old building. “If tomorrow is going to be as boooring as today, I swear, I might just have to nuke the place.” She more or less screamed at no one in particular as both Bow and Hattie exited a few seconds later. “You two are so slow, I've seen snails move faster.” Mu crossed her arms and tapped her foot impatiently, waiting for the other two to catch up.”
“This isn't a race, Mu.” Hattie said rather monotonously which only annoyed the hot-headed girl, who scoffed. If Bow hadn't been to caught up in her own rather detrimental thoughts, she would have easily picked up on the tension between the other two girls. Instead, her thoughts ran rampant with her own insecurity. She really felt like she wasn't contributing much compared to Hattie. While Hattie had her strong magic that could be used in all kinds of ways, she had nothing. She couldn't move objects with an unseen force, she couldn't summon a rain cloud to make water appear out of thin air, and she couldn't conjure up a shield like what Hattie was trying to learn and had moderately succeeded in already. Even Mu, who no one had any expectations for, was very agile and strong, with her being a werewolf. A changeling like her had only the ability to change her color...that was all...all she could do anyway. It wasn't useful and posed more of a problem as she couldn't control it at all.
“...Bow!” The purple-eyed girl gasped and nearly jumped out of her skin when Mu waved her hand in front of her face. “You were miiiles away there. I was asking if you wanted to come with me into the forest later.”
“Sorry, I was just...thinking about something.-” Bow explained while Mu gave her a rather annoyed look. “-I'll come with you, maybe we can find some mushrooms.” She forced a small smile which Mu couldn't see through as easily as Hattie could, the blonde haired girl rose her fist up in the air in triumph instead.
“Great idea! I know aaalll the edible ones out there! It will give me an opportunity to do something nice for Cookie.” Mu grabbed Bow's arm quite forcefully and dragged her with her. “We'll go right after lunch.” Bow had trouble keeping up with Mu as she hurried home, passing by Hattie who had been ahead a little, looking equally as spaced out as Bow had been earlier. “Wanna come with us, nerd?”
Hattie nearly tripped after being snapped out of her thoughts. “N-No, I can't, I have more important things to do.”
Mu only rolled her eyes at that answer. “Fine, have fun reading or what other lame thing you had planned.” Mu continued to drag Bow with her, the changeling nearly stumbled several times on the way home, especially now that autumn was near and the trees were losing their leaves, coupled with the rain, the forest ground was quite slippy. When they arrived home, Cookie had left a note, saying that she had gone to work and had left them a stew on the stove that they only needed to heat up. While Bow was preparing the stew according to the instructions left behind, Muriel had gone up to change into something that allowed her tail to be more free, the red-clothed girl wondered if she could just cut a hole in the back of her trousers to put her wolf tail through, it was quite uncomfortable, and she could at least be comfortable at home, right?
Hattie returned home around 5 minutes after the other two, she sat down on the corner bench with a sigh. Bow started to place down three plates of stew, surprisingly, the smell hadn't attracted the werewolf girl yet. Thinking that Hat Kid was upset because Mu and her had rushed ahead, she decided to speak up. “Uh...are you upset?”
Hattie shook her head, not really focusing on Bow's words at all, she didn't even look at her. Contradictory to what that action made Bow believe, Hattie wasn't upset with her, the young sorceress was thinking over how to make that shield spell work. Maybe Snatcher could give her some pointers on how to do it, the instructions in the book were insufficient. “Think of something protective”, was a rather vague description.
Bow mistook Hattie's silence as her being mad at her, causing her to fumble with the hem of her white shirt and looking away. The changeling's sad expression was replaced by one of shock when Mu came barreling down the stairs, looking even more upbeat and energetic when before. “I finally fixed my worst problem, look!” Mu turned to show her tail which was now free as she had cut a hole her other pants which were meant to be worn at home. “It's so much better now, I feel a lot better!” She gave a wide smile and sat down opposite of Hattie. Unlike Hattie, who still hadn't so much as touched her spoon, Mu started to eat like a starved animal.
Bow joined the other two girls, staring down at her plate of stew as if the pieces of meat and vegetables could give her a solution to the issue that troubled her. She absentmindedly just took a spoon full and dropped its contents back down into the bowl. She got torn out of her thoughts by Mu yet again, who spoke up after seeing that she hadn't eaten anything at all yet.
“Come on, you gotta eat something, you won't be able to search for mushrooms with no strength!” Mu got up to get seconds while Bow glanced back at her and then back at the stew. She reluctantly started to eat, by now her food was merely lukewarm. While Mu started to eagerly at her second bowl of stew, and Bow was now eating slowly, Hattie didn't even touch her stew and simply started out the window before she got up and headed upstairs. After they had finished eating Mu got up and grabbed her and Bow's dishes, the young changeling got startled by that. “Let's go! It will get dark if we don't hurry.” Bow just nodded and followed Mu after the werewolf girl had put their dishes in the dishwasher.
While Bow was minding nearly every step she took as to not slip on the muddy and mossy forest ground that was littered with colorful, yet very wet and slippery leaves, Mu jumped from one pile of leaves to the next, kicking the maple and chestnut leaves into the air and watching them tumble back down again. Bow was glad to see the other girl look happy and enjoy herself, but she truly wondered how the more unruly girl managed to not fall flat on her face, she had nearly fallen three times so far and had been lucky that she there had always been a tree for her to catch herself. Bow had to say that she really liked the forest, even if it was slippery, the various shades of red, orange and yellow that the trees and bushes around her sported were incredible beautiful. She really had to try and draw them later when she had time. Even the smell was different, the fragrance of wet moss and wood was definitely preferable to hand sanitizer and the strange chemicals that were used in the laboratories.
“Look Bow, that's an edible mushroom over there!” Bow followed Mu who hurried over to the mushroom to inspect it closer before she picked it up and covered the area where she plucked it from with soil again. “I know this one, I've eaten it before with my father.” The blonde girl handed the mushroom over to Bow who looked at it as if she hadn't ever any sort of fungus in her life. “Have you never seen a mushroom before? It's nothing that interesting, you know.”
Bow shook her head solemnly. “This is the first time that I've seen one in the wild, I've only ever seen them in pictures before.” Mu frowned at Bow's comment and mumbled something under her breath.
“Something bad happened to you and Hattie, right? It's obvious that you two didn't have a normal upbringing, you're way too strange for that.”
Bow looked down at the ground for a moment, being called strange yet again, she wondered if she could ever escape that lab, even now that she was out of it, the simple fact that she knew almost nothing about the world was causing her to feel out of place, like she didn't belong. “We were...raised in laboratory. Both Hattie and I only recently managed to flee.”
Mu gasped in shock, she had thought that Bow and Hattie were much like her, having lost their family due to them being hunted down, but this was truly awful. She had heard about the facilities, that quite a few magical creatures were brought there to be experimented on. “Did they...experiment on you?” Mu asked with an unusually quite tone of voice, yet it still caused the changeling girl to shiver for a moment.
Experiment was a word that would likely haunt her for the rest of her life, the mere mention of the word caused all the bad memories to resurface. Her skin turned to a deep shade of purple, the potion had worn off. Bow nodded, but didn't want to elaborate, she prayed that the werewolf girl wouldn't ask what sort of experiments they had performed on her.
Mu panicked after seeing Bow Kid's color change to purple and she looked afraid. “I-I'm sorry, uh...” She looked around, trying to find something to distract the other girl with. “-There! Uh...a wild apple tree!” Mu pointed at the tree and went over to it, getting one of the small apples. “They're smaller and a bit more sour than the ones you can by at the market, and you have to watch out for worms, but they're super tasty.” She smiled and offered the apple to Bow, who took it and just stared at it for a moment. The sight of the fruit at least got her mind off the terrible memories and Bow tried her hardest to calm herself, telling herself that she was safe. She also didn't want to worry Muriel any further, the young werewolf looked like she was trying really hard to be empathetic.
She took a bite of the apple offered after making sure that there wasn't a hole in it, she had to say that it tasted exactly like Mu had described, sour, but the flavor was a lot stronger. “It's tastes great.” The changeling gave a thumbs up while the blonde haired girl breathed a sigh of relief.
As they headed home, Mu's ears began to twitch, and her fur bristled. “Do you smell that? A boar is in the area. We should take another path.” Mu grabbed Bow's hand and tried to get away. The tension of the blonde girl made Bow feel on edge and she followed as silently as she could. When she turned her head, she spotted the wild animal. She had never seen a wild boar before, but she had to say that, even though it wasn't that big, its tusks looked like they'd hurt if it decided to attack.
“Mu...it found us.” She whispered anxiously and Mu turned toward it, pushing Bow behind her.
“Back away slowly, don't run. It might chase us and they aren't as slow as they might look.” Bow did as she was told and backed away slowly while the boar seemed to watch them. All went well until the slippery and muddy forest ground thwarted they're plan. Bow slipped and fell backwards which startled the boar and made the animal rush toward them. Mu wasted no second and started to let out a loud wolf howl to try to deter the animal, when that didn't work she had to fight. Fighting an animal that weight 300 pounds and above would proof difficult even for a werewolf adult, but for a child, it was pretty much impossible, thankfully, this boar was still quite young and only half the size of a fully grown version of this species. Mu had one advantage though, her speed, she lured the boar toward her by waving her arms and then dodged at the last second when it charged at her, causing the wild pig to collide with a tree which gave her the opening she needed to use her sharper canine teeth to bite the boar's neck. It was enough to deter the wild animal and it ran away, retreating back into the forest. “And don't come back!”
Mu wiped the blood off her mouth while she helped the startled and amazed Bow to her feet. “Wow...A-Are you okay?” Bow asked worrying about her friend while also in complete awe.
Mu smiled with confidence, “Of course I'm okay, a wild boar is no match for me.” Outwardly she portrayed self assurance, inside however she was freaking out, she only hoped that Bow couldn't see how her body was shaking. “We should hurry back before more of these guys show up.” The changeling nodded.
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── BAEK HWAYOUNG
new muse incoming! baek hwayoung. permanent headache for her boss, resident sour patch kid with an ever-present sweet tooth. hello everyone i'm e! im pretty sure i forgot to introduce myself on the other intro lmfao but hi hi this is a new muse i'm trying out :) hope u all grow to love her like i do, but <3 this and i'll come to u for plotting for either of my muses.
₊˙ ◌ ⁎˚ 〇﹒﹙kim minju. cisfemale. she/her﹚guess who was almost late for their shift at the midlight hotel?? that’s right, it was baek hwayoung! it’s a wonder their job as a pool lifeguard isn’t in jeopardy. the 22 year old has been working at sunset galleria for six months, and is well known for their attentive nature. on bad days, they can be rather dramatic, though. when the mall is dead at night, they can usually be found helping herself to a treat at candycakes or icehaus, but don’t tell their boss!
background
born september 20, 2000 as a the second child of four. three brothers who were a pain to deal with, but she still loved them. they are mainly the reason behind her current personality. even though it was mainly in jest, thick skin was definitely needed to survive living with her brothers. roughhousing was included as well, and she has a number of faded scars from the numerous accidents from fights she got into with them.
her love for the ocean was present from a young age. she was always drawn to the sea and the sound of the waves. the ocean provided her with a sense of freedom and tranquility that she couldn't find anywhere else, especially in her household. learned how to swim from a young age and always loved spending her summers by any body of water.
did pretty mediocre in school. was never her strong suit since most of it bored her, but she knew that she'd have to make a living somehow so she at least tried a little bit. she had her high achieving little brother for her parents to focus on for academics. if she was going to go somewhere, it was likely going to be because of athletics.
speaking of water and swimming, she swam competitively for a long time, starting when she was 9, up until her last year of college. she was pretty good, if her medals counted for anything. so yes, she was good. she also worked part time as a lifeguard amongst other things as a teenager.
speaking of college, she had to chance to swim competitively for a college team abroad. her piss poor english that could barely get her though a conversation from before? majorly improved from being surrounded by native english speakers for four years. really was pushed to her full potential under a D1 program but quickly figured out this was not something she wanted to do for an actual living, so she made the choice to retire from competitive swimming when she graduated.
once she graduated, she went back home and promptly moved out of her childhood home with her older brother since he had an extra room and he did not find someone to take it. she started interning at places and working jobs in the meantime, preparing herself to actually be an adult. moved out into her own place a half a year later once she found a place suitable for herself.
turns out, being in the water for so long didn't mean it was going to be easy just giving it up all at once, so to ease the longing, she started giving swimming lessons to children during the summer. even got close enough to one or two families where she babysits the kids as well. somewhere down the line she finds herself working as a lifeguard again, but this time for midlight hotel.
described by locals as not very friendly/approachable, but is still annoyingly good at her job, even though she does test the boundaries sometimes. jokes on them, she's actually approachable she just doesn't like dealing with people who can't follow rules that were in place for their own safety. hwayoung has nothing to combat the unfriendly part, though.
fun facts
the cliche pretending to drown to get the lifeguard's attention? hwayoung hates it !! the amount of times it's happened to her just upsets her more (even if most of them were kids who thought she was pretty) she likes to think she can depict when someone's actually drowning, so in the instances where someone is obviously pretending and is old enough to know better, she makes a whole spectacle out of it hopefully to embarrass the other. so far her track record is perfect.
loves decorating her tote bags with different patches and keychains. patches are a little more permanent than her liking, so she prefers using keychains for personalization. she has a collection of cute keychains, which she switches out frequently to reflect her mood or style.
probably should've been fired ages ago with the way she'll close the pool "for maintenance" whenever she just didn't want to actually do her job. abuses her privileges occasionally and even uses it after it's closed. it's really a wonder how she's still employed, but maybe it's her charm? or the fact she's just really knowledgable that makes her a valuable lifeguard? who knows the truth
has enough money to not work a proper job for a while, but likes working to keep her busy. this lifeguard stint was supposed to only last like three months before moving on to the next thing, but she just loves the laidback atmosphere of the mall so she has stayed.
cares a little more about her looks than she did years ago. growing up with brothers had left her not caring, but her time overseas and being surrounded by other women had exposed her to a side of her that had been repressed. so, maybe she shows up a little dolled up or overdressed for a job that involves her potentially getting into water, but she doesn't care as long as she looks and feels good.
quick ideas for plots once again to compensate for not plots page rn
someone who can't swim, or can't swim that well. hwayoung gets secondhand embarrassment just watching your muse attempt to swim, and out of the kindess of her heart she offers to teach you (she expects some sort of payment)
someone who like to prank hwayoung while she's on duty... even though she briefly "scolds" them, the small upturn of the lips on her face reveals that she's amused. it's evident she's enjoying it with no plans to stop any future plans since your muse never really faces any actual repercussions.
icehaus/lapis roasters/candycakes regular! half of her paycheck probably goes back to the mall with the way she's constantly buying stuff from those establishments. she'd be 10x more nicer to the workers here bc they provide her with the one thing that brings her joy. potential friendships blooming that way? or maybe someone concerned with her daily sugar intake?
people who don't like her. she sometimes can be a little... rough around the edges? sometimes. often her words can be misunderstood and she is very aware of that and does nothing about it. if you misunderstand she's not going to make the extra effort ot make herself clear.
someone who can teach her something new. she loves learning new things... as long as it isn't educational. maybe she'll teach you something she learned in exchange?
unrequited crushes, flings, one night stands, broken hearts,,, give me something messy bc i <3 messy/angst/slowburn.
friends. yes she can be a little hard to get to know sometimes but that doesn't mean she's not fun to hang out with!! if you just look past her words and just vibe, she can 75% guarantee that she'll make spending time with her worth your time. although, she might honestly be a bad influence these days.
#sunsetintro#here's hwayoung <3#so i had some caffeine so this got finished finally. not feeling tired yet so i'll be doing pages HOPING i get some done#before i get tired of staring at this screen and typing words#+ if i add something to this later / u see any typos... no u didnt <3
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so the other day i decided to download sims 4 on my new pc (haven't played it on pc for 8 yrs since my pc broke) ive been playing it on my xbox ever since. so i downloaded it and wicked whims, extreme violence, and some other cc including animations and cas stuff, which was working perfectly up until a little less than an hour ago. A couple hours ago, I decided to get more cc including more cas stuff, but i spent hours looking for the perfect britney spears sim, finally found it, proceeded to find same one for free, found that, got it, worked fine in cas, and probably wouldve worked fine in game if i didnt go on a download spree for outfits before i transfered britney cc to mods, i decided to download lots of clothes and hairs, then when i got bored of searching, i transferred them to mods and proceeded to launch sims, go into cas and make britney, she was perfect and so was all the other cc in cas. after i was done, moved her in my main household, moved my house hold to an empty lot, spent hours making a britney themed house (dw its safe i didnt use cc so i still got a house with a britney shrine) , when i was finished i decided to go into live mode after saving and made britney flirt with one of my sims, then that sim's wife snatched britneys wig lmao, but then i noticed my notifications from my wall were blank.. then the sim that got pressed asked her girl to get some, so they went to a random corner and started doing one of the new animations i don't remember the exact name of but that isn't important, really none of this is..., but anyways i then immediately noticed my sims booty cheeks were invisible, i was hoping it was just something wrong with that animation, but honestly wasn't believing it because of my notifications being blank.. and then i went to switch animations and most of the choice tabs were blank, so i had my sims stop what they were doing and continue else where with a different animation, for a moment i thought it was working then turned to see my sims cheeks were still invisible during the animation, invisible qussy being eaten?? im really upset and none of my choice tabs would load, also when id click on a sims emotions the descriptions were blank, also kept getting ine notification that wasnt blank "wickedwhims is sad :(" and itd direct me to the ww request an issue page, and so i knew what was wrong immediately, I either had doubled a file somehow, skipped one, got one that is either incompatible, out of date, or it just clashed with another in someway, or it was corrupt. So i spent awhile rearranging my mods file and transferring and retracting files back to downloads, I even took all the files i downloaded today out of my mods folder, restarting sims trying again and again and again, still the same, i got super upset and figured the only way to fix this was to either delete added cc in my mods folder or delete it all (not resource ess) and so i deleted 90% of it, leaving base packages, wicked whims and extreme violence. I decided to give up on switching, moving, rearranging, and deleting extra files so instead i deleted all extracted files instead of keeping them in downloads.... im really stressed out and theres nothing anyone can do to help me with that, i just hope i can get it all fixed tomorrow, i got really irritable and decided to head to bed, its 5:17am now.. i shoyld sleep tomorrow is a bad day probably because i have to get all 3000 million plushies off my bed because i have to changw my sheets and i dont feel comfortable putting my plushies on the floor or just getting my heart rate up. it sounds teally bad i know i sound bad but i donr want to do anyrhing i have to take a shower tomorrow which makes me feel disgusting and i feel each shower head hole spraying water on my head which feels like needles poking my braincells. ineed sleep its so late early late early late goodnight i hope i sonr have nightmare and i hope i dont sweat thst much i canr wahr ti get off my meds so i can be extra suicidal instead of having cold sweats everu night and waking up in layers of pools of sweat ka
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hi, i hope i'm not bothering you, but i can order a Scaramouche × Kitsune reader, the two met before the vision hunt (and before he was a fatui if you want) the reader was always in the same place, sometimes having a conversation , the good old routine, but with the hunting of visions the reader disappeared not wanting to give up his own vision, and years later a reunion, SFW or NSFW is by your will, thank you, I really admire your work
Summary - Scaramouche met you as a child, growing up with the constant assurance that you would be right there, sitting at your spot where he could meet you with every visit. He isn't happy when you suddenly disappear.
Pairing - Kitsune!Reader x Yan!Scaramouche
Warning - Slight Yandere warnings?
Penpal - Ahhh- hope this is what you were looking for. I couldn't find a spot to put much nsfw unless I considered writing more for the series ( I could, just put a request in if thats what you’re looking for ). But I hope you liked it!! You're not bothering me at all and I'm glad you like my work!
A/N - Alright- so considering that with the 2.1 update with Scaramouche coming in, I just wanna state beforehand that I wrote this prior so I dont know if we learn about his backstory or anything!!
Link for Part 2
Stay With Me
Scaramouche was used to the routine he’d found himself going along with every visit to Inazuma. As a child he’d pass through the wild fields that stretched just beside his hometown, adventurous and curious with all the tenacity of a child.
And of course you, a kitsune that sat perched on the ground awaiting the Kitsune Saiguu, was bound to notice him. Unlike the other earth kitsune statues, you hadnt turned to stone during your wait. Instead, staying in the same place did you interact with travellers and the locals, which included Scaramouche.
“Fox person!” The little boy chanted, pulling at the hems of your clothing. Bright blue eyes bore into your own, and you slowly shifted your head to pay attention to the boy who was on the verge of bouncing on you.
Humming in reply to his excitement, the little boy paused, both of his small hands still tightly clasping the fabric of your clothes. Soft matted hair brushed past his face in a messy manner, calling out the boy for his boundless running and rebellious urge to keep his hair messy despite his parents wishes.
“Play with me!”
Staring at the boy only a moment longer, you simply chuckled at his antics. “I’m afraid I cannot move from the spot in which I dwell~ Perhaps I’ll be able to entertain you if you bring cards?”
But the young boy had made up his mind at the statement to which you couldn't move. A pitiful frown enfluged his face as he cast you the nastiest glare a five year old could muster. “Boring!” He shouted into the distance of the fields, dramatically turning on his heels and bouncing up into a sprint away. You watched his small figure fade away into the background, absentmindedly sighing and returning to your mindless thoughts.
As a child, Scaramouche would pass by you fairly often. Frequent when he asked you to play with him, and storming away with the same expression when you denied him. Nothing out of the ordinary, you’d lived for an exceptional amount of time, and even though grumpy children were not your specialty, you’d grown accustomed to their behaviour.
Growing up, Scaramouche got no better. You soon noticed his violent tendencies before they became an issue, the way the children shied away from him when playing Temari. Hiding in front of a tough exterior, he scared them away and laughed, approaching you later with tearful sob.
“Will you play with me?” He asked again, trying to hide the fact that he still wept when the other children pushed him away.
But your answer stayed the same, helping him wipe his tears and coaxing him into your arms. Not the first time you’d made contact with a human, but the first time you held them in such an affectionate manner.
It was clear Scaramouche was beginning to see you as some sort of pillar of reassurance when he began running away from home to simply ask to be held. You always welcomed him with open arms, urging him to head back to his household and sort things out. There was no harm in simply providing love and comfort for a child who received none was there?
“Now now, hurry back home little one. Your parents must be growing awfully worried if you’re out by this time at night.”
“My parents dont care about me!”
Darkness slowly pooled into the fields, an obscure shade covering the two of you from the tree you were under. Biting back form your normal emotionless statements, you pondered for something to soothe and convince the boy. Misunderstandings and hardships were normal from what youd seen with children, and you could only offer your hand on his shoulder, a promise. “Go back, I promise to stay here if anything further happens. But you shold give them another chance dont you think?”
And so he’d sprint back to his hometown, and you wouldnt hear from him again till he ran up right up to you a few days later. Begging you to play a game with him. The normal you supposed, and with a grin that seemed to stretch wider with every day, you told him the same thing you told him every single time.
“You cant move?!” Scaramouche nearly yelled one time, tiny fists curling at his side. “Thats… thats stupid!”
“It is isnt it?” You only smiled in response.
Unsatisfied with your response, he clawed your arm, pulling you with all his might. Strong, you realized with surprise that he was much stronger than most children his age. Easy enough to tug away from, but strong enough to take you off guard.
Snapping your hand back to your side, you narrowed your eyes. You weren't angry… no, you hadnt felt strong feelings like that after the disappearance of the Kitsune Saiguu. “Do not attempt to move me,” was your curt response, said in the most stern voice you’d used with the boy.
He’d looked at you only a few seconds longer before bursting into tears, turning away and running. You didn't feel regretful for defending yourself, only turning once more with a tired sigh to stare at the distance.
But just as you stayed ageless, Scaramouche grew older. Still, crossing each others pass was inevitable when you sat in the plains, just alongside the path that lead to his hometown.
With a permanent scowl that seemed to stain his face, he still seemed to have mature a tad bit. Maybe hadnt improved in the social department, because he now scared children and adults and alike, but more mature…
“Hm? Whats this?”
Once again, sitting criss cross under the large tree that provided the perfect shade on sunny days, you stared at the boy expectantly. His hands hesitated at your question, but he resumed shuffling. “Cards,” he simply said in response.
A small featherlike feeling flitted across your chest, making you feel lighter and… almost ticklish. A small smile crossed your face, and you recognized the emotion to be one of adoration. For him to have remembered words you’d spoken years ago, it gave you a warmth you’d sorely missed. A warmth akin to watching him and the other children grow up.
“Ew, dont smile like that, its creepy.”
Swatting at his head, he frowned further when you laughed. “You’re more mature,” you pointed out, lazily leaning back. “You need to work on your people skills though, as someone who hasnt moved in years, thats pitiful that I know more than you.”
“Shut it!”
But as he grew up, you hardly got to see much of him. He’d reached your height and then fully disappeared, leaving no goodbye. And much as you hated to admit it, you hardly noticed, not when days passed in a flurry. You were used to being by yourself, entertaining the kids and greeting the people that passed by.
Sometimes, there’d be the reminder of the warmth he’d given you. But it was quickly overshadowed by your duty to remain seated in wait for the Kitsune Saiguu. A dedication kept in its earnest, but beginning to dwindle.
Inazuma was beginning to change.
“The vision decree…” you repeated, staring at the traveller who’d mentioned it to you. “Care to elaborate?”
The new archon threatenening to take away visions from every inhabitant of Inazuma. It was preposterous, so much that you didnt move. Your vision meant the world to you, but so did the Kitsune Saiguu. You werent sure just how you weighed the two till you saw civilians passing by you, ones you recognized, ones that didnt recognize themselves.
It was snowing, cold snowflakes melting into your skin while your hair soaked in the water. Unflinching, you hummed to a little tune, awaiting someone to pass you so that you could attempt to strike a conversation of somesort. The unnatural weather distanced all who entered the field though, and you simply waited. For the Kitsune Saiguu, for someone, or for some form of entertainment, you didnt know. You Slowly closing your eyes, you decided not to care.
“Im gone for five years and you’re still sitting here like a dumbass.”
Eyes snapping open, you find yourself face to face with a complete stranger. Dark purple hair with dark blue eyes, piercing and dangerous in a way you dont recognize at all. Fancy clothing that you cant identify or put a name on.
The boy took a step towards you, crouching down to stare at you directly. His eyes scanned over your figure briefly, and he brushed the snow out of your hair and ears with one flick of his hand. In the next, he was offering a coat to you. “Take it, you’re probably getting cold.”
You leaned forward, ignoring the coat he offered you. Gently, you raised your hand to brush the hair from his eyes, centred on the way his pupils widened. Offering a small moment of surprise and one glimpse into the small childlike blue eyed wonder he was. “Kiddo,” you breathed, pulling your hand back and scanning him once again. “You’ve grown.”
“And you havent.”
Snickering at his comment, you took the coat. You didnt need it, but he looked like he didnt either. He was already wearing clothing that kept him warm, and with careful observation and an untouched coat, you settled on the fact that he’d brought it here. Brought the coat here for you.
“Still havent improved with those social skills of yours have you?”
He scoffed, letting himself fall back till he was sitting fully. “I dont want to hear it from someone who refuses to move an inch for years. Lazy ass.”
You open your mouth to retort, but instead laugh at his comment, shaking your head. “Gained some humour on your journeys have you? Bad words too it seems. Anyways...” He had sat down, which meant that he meant fully well to sit, chat, and catch up. That familiar warmth filled your chest, a contrast between the cold snow. “Welcome back.”
It wasnt often that Scaramouche visited Inazuma, but when he did, he was sure to visit you. The two of you would sit down for hours, talking about the most trivial topics. He never mentioned what he did in his time away, and you never asked.
But things began to go downhill when news of the vision decree finally took action.
“Its no joke anymore! The Raiden Shogun has taken custody of almost a hundred visions!”
In that moment you made your decision, weighing your vision over the Kitsune Saiguu. Awfully selfish you knew, but you’d spent decades sitting there in wait.
And for the first time you sat up from your position on the ground, clumsily stumbling upright but gaining balance. It takes a few steps until you’re back to normal, and you begin your journey in order to escape the Raiden Shogun’s vision hunt decree.
_-_-_-_
You didnt expect to see him again.
Long grass tickled at the skin of your legs, making you adjust your footing to no avail. Sun slowly descending past the mountains to mark the start of an evening and the soon approaching night. A normal day of exploring the mountains and islands of Inazuma, observing the constant changing situation, and running away from the vision decree like a favourite past-time.
With the exception of a firm grip on your wrist.
Dark purple like hair, same hate brimmed eyes and lavish clothing. You recognized Scaramouche the moment he had appeared, looking just as surprised as you were. That being before he snatched your wrist and snarled, “You.”
You wouldve considered it pure luck to find him, an unexpected reunion with someone you actually remembered. But no, his tone had some predatorial edge to it that had you cringing. Hard. “Yes, its me.” You answered back with a frown, trying to loosen his hold. “Nice to see you too, is something the matter?”
He only seemed confused at your words, pulling you closer.
“Something the matter?” He asked as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Well, to start, you’re not sitting at your damn spot.”
Taken aback for a moment, you wondered if that sole fact was what drove the boy to such lengths. Surely he couldn't be so troubled over the fact that you moved… “The vision hunt decree, I'm sure I mentioned that I was sticking around in wait for the Kitsune Saiguu. I decided to wander around and avoid the conflict until I could settle back.”
“You could’ve waited for me,” he stated almost instantly. “I could have protected you.”
You felt your brows furrow quizzically. “Wait for you? Why in the world would I-”
“Why wouldn't I?” He pushed you closer till he could fully grab both wrists, taking a step closer as if his words would resonate clearer in your head. “You took care of me as a child, it would only be fair for me to repay the favour.” But he only seemed to be looking for excuses. “And besides, you can't just up and leave… I didn't know.”
Before you could interject with the obvious answer that he didn't need to know, you stopped. You’d lived decades, nearly centuries if you’d kept count, and you had learned to read people's expressions even when you’d stayed away from them for so long. He didn't know. It hit you in the most unpleasant way that he wasn't aware that it was none of his concern. To him, you were just another thing he needed to keep track of, something he had control over. His face basically screamed, ‘I depended on you to stay in that place.’
Deep breath in and out. You’d lived long, longer than him, you could deal with a child throwing a tantrum.
“Don't worry,” you gestured to the vision ta your side. “I'm strong enough to protect myself, I appreciate your concern, but I’ll be back when the vision decree ends.”
Unconvinced, he pulled you closer, just until your faces were mere inches away from each other. “No,” he said in a stern voice. “I’d rather you by my side, where I can protect you. I hate to question what you’re capable of, but you’ve been sitting down for as long as I’ve known you for.”
“I’ve lived decades more than you,” a simple reply, hopefully enough to get by him. You snatched your hands back with ease, ears flinching slightly when a cold breeze swept past you. But you stayed firm, not wanting to look vulnerable against the imposing air he had around him.
Still unconvinced. “You’re coming with me.”
“No I’m not.”
You’d known him as a kid, watched him grow up along with all the other small ones in his hometown. And maybe you admit you cared a smudge bit about the warmth he gave you when settling down to play cards, but he was different. He had changed in the worst way and you weren't about to deal with it.
“So you’re not coming with me voluntarily?” He asked softly, taking a small step to which you responded by stepping back. He had his hands up, as if telling you he wouldn't hurt you. But the way he said voluntarily sent shivers up your spine.
“No.” Hand on your vision, you held your own hand up threateningly.
He took his time when tilting his head, taking a deep breath in, and then appearing in front of you in just a short stride. Too quick to react, you hesitated before you could attack him. You didn't want to hurt him, he was still a child in your eyes, and you paid the consequences for that. He slid his hand just along your neck, and a jolt of electricity seemed to thrum inside you just as you collapsed in his arms.
Scaramouche was quick to catch you, hoisting you up into his arms dearly. “I do hope you’ll come to understand,” he said softly, cradling your unconscious form in his arms. Making sure not to crush your tail when carrying your legs, he looked past the mountains, sigh resting on his lips.
Because Scaramouche liked to have control of the things he held dear. Like keeping all your valuables neat and tidy in a closet, he was happy knowing you were safe and stable in that spot you always sat on.
And he couldn't have you moving could he?
#genshin impact#genshin headcanons#genshin oneshot#genshin fanfic#genshin scaramouche#genshin scaramouche x reader#scaramouche x reader#genshin impact x reader#cynshealthysfw#genshin fluff
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Hi there! I don't have adhd myself, but all three of my roommates do. It makes it almost impossible for them to notice when chores need done, or to even motivate to do chores when reminded (whether by me or the chore apps we've tried). I don't want to resent my friends but I'm getting close, since I'm the only person in the house who does household chores. Do you have any tips on how I can help them, and how they can help themselves?
Ok so I've been chewing on this response for a while. Because there's no one technique or life hack that can solve this situation easily -- BUT i do believe you and your roommates have the power to solve it, with understanding and a helluva lot of communication. First Im going to explain how the adhd brain can react to chores, them I'm going to share how you can outwit the adhd brain through the power of friendship (e.g., communication, teamwork, and the benefit of the doubt).
So, for a lot of people with executive dysfunction problems, chores are THE WORST.
1. Some of them happen regularly, and others are intermittent. Since it's already hard for us to notice the existence of time, this fact hits us coming and going.
2. Some of them are suuuuuuuuuuuuper boring, which is absolute agony and makes 10 minutes feel like 2 hours of torture.
3. Some require multiple steps, so we cant figure out how to get started, so we get overwhelmed and freak out.
4. Starting a new thing -- overcoming the inertia of I'm Already Doing Something Else -- is really hard.
5. If there is any kind of obstacle to getting started on the chore, our motivation to do the thing can fizzle out.
6. Many of us associate chores with punishment / bad feelings, because we grew up in households that didn't acknowledge our difficulties, or blamed us, or guilt tripped us, or used chores as a punishment.
But!!! All is not lost!! This is where the power of Friendship comes in, because it sounds like there are at least 4 people in your house, which means there's 4 people to help each other outsmart their brains and get stuff done.
The first thing to do is sit down with your roommates and have an honest conversation about the chores. This is NOT a, "Chris you didnt do the dishes the last 3 weeks" conversation! The theme of this conversation is: "The chores gotta get done. Let's brainstorm together how to get that done."
Here are some things that you all, as a group, gotta figure out together:
1. What are the communal chores that need doing, and how regularly do they need to get done?
-Write this all down! Right there at the table! ADHD brains can sometimes need things pinned down in letters on a page before we can grok them. And some things that seem Really Big out loud can turn out to look a lot less intimidating on paper.
-Sometimes people have different expectations for what a specific chore requires. My spouse balked at vacuuming for a long time before I realized that for him, vacuuming meant moving all the furniture to get every single speck of carpet in the house. Me saying "God no please just vacuum the carpet you can easily reach" solved that issue.
2. What chores do people hate? Why?
- The "Why?" is important. If someone hates doing dishes because it makes their hands wet and they have to touch Gross Things, that doesn't mean they never have to do dishes -- it means they should try wearing rubber dish gloves to see if that helps.
3. What chores do people not mind doing?
-My spouse haaaates folding laundry, and I dont mind it, so voila, that is now my task.
4. What sorts of things stand in the way of getting chores done?
Examples might include:
- I wanted to put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher, but the clean dishes were still in there, and my brain was so set on dirties -> dishwasher I couldn't brain how to switch over to putting the clean stuff away first. (Solution: "Dishes" might be broken up into more discrete tasks)
-I was supposed to sweep but there were Things on the floor (Solution: "It's ok to sweep around things on the floor.")
-I know I'm supposed to take the trash out every Sunday but I didn't realize it was Sunday until Monday started (Solution: "Take the trash out on Monday and let it sit there till the following Sunday" OR "Put the trash bags right in front of the door so you cant miss them when you leave the house")
- The pile of dishes was so big i got overwhelmed and left the room (Solution: "You don't have to do ALL the dishes, just a sinkful" OR "Step 1 of doing dishes is restacking them more neatly on the counter")
5. What are some workarounds we can figure out around the above obstacles to help each other get everything done?
- In my house, we don't have a dishwasher. I will wake up in the morning and start a load in the sink, and wash enough dishes to fill the dish rack. When my spouse wakes up an hour later, he puts the clean dishes away. Over the course of a day, by tagging in and out, we get all the dishes done (mostly).
-We talk ALL THE TIME about what we need to get done and what is stopping us, and how we can help each other overcome the mental obstacle.
Example: "I know i need to do some dishes but the size of the stack is killing me." "Would it help if I washed the two big saucepans so that the stack is smaller?" "OH GOD YES."
-We ask each other for help when we need it! "Hey I can do all the laundry if you could just carry the basket downstairs for me."
So.
I know you are getting irritated by the current chore situation. You also dont want to "nag" people or be, like, some sort of parental figure dispensing chore assignments to your grumbling roommates. And you don't want to be left doing all the chores all the time, slowly seething.
None of that needs to happen.
Talk with your roomates. Have an honest conversation focused on problem solving. No blame. No pointing fingers. Y'all are the Avengers, or the Justice League, or your Found-Family-Trope Of Choice. The only rules are:
1. COMMUNICATE
2. Work together
3. Communicate some more. Ongoing communication. Regular check-ins. Task-swapping. Teamwork.
4. Give each other the benefit of the doubt. No one is skipping chores to be mean, or to punish anyone else. If something gets missed, talk and brainstorm and help each other.
You're a really great friend, to reach out for help about this! You can do it!
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I was wondering if you know any Cherik fics where they're dating but it's w different people's pov? Or where people don't believe that they are together. They're not rude but they're just sceptical yk. Where they don't believe that one of them has a partner.
Thanks for the ask anon. I have to say that outsider POV is such a guilty pleasure of mine. There are some great fics out there that match your description. There are also a few fics that kind of match your description but deviate a bit from your request. I still think they fit the theme. I hope you enjoy!
Outsider POV - Don’t know that they are in a relationship
Work/Life Balance - pocky_slash
Summary: As teens, Charles was the star of a super popular tween/teen television show and Erik was his best friend. As adults, they're a frighteningly domestic married couple and Alex, Darwin, and Sean are Erik's nosy co-workers.
Rumor Mill - ikeracity
Summary: Erik is the grumpiest, most foul tempered worker at Stark industries. His grumpiness is the stuff of legends.
So it's obviously the talk of the office when Erik is being made to go to the company party and he's bringing his husband. There's rumors flying round about how much of a masochist or equally antisocial bastard Erik's husband must be to put up with him. Others think he must be a meek mouse perhaps bullied by Erik.
What they weren't expecting was the confident, charming, adorable and unbelievably nice Charles that turns up on Erik's arm. What they certainly weren't expecting was how much Erik obviously adores his husband and how happy he is to let others see this.
Twice as Blind - Darksknight
Summary: Erik is probably the biggest asshole on the face of the earth, and because of this, he'll probably die alone. Charles is a complete flirt and playboy and, probably, will never commit to anyone ever.
(The lesson here is that when you have two friends who are BOTH secretly seeing someone, well, it's probable that they're seeing each other.)
For Argument’s Sake - Darksknight
Summary: The 'Science Wing Fights' are infamous, mostly because it's exciting to see two teachers really have it out, partially because Charles and Erik have the most intense and interesting fights any college student can dream of. So maybe a rumor or two get spread around to start the fights off, maybe someone mentions a hicky or the possibility of Charles seeing someone, but it's not like anyone's trying to instigate anything. Expect Raven. Raven will always instigate things.
Bang! A boomerang is love! – magichistorian
Summary: Everyone knew Mr. Xavier and Mr. Lehnsherr hated each other's guts.
Right?
Sugar Honey – IreneADonovan
Summary: Erik Lehnsherr is the new Senior VP in Stark Industries Engineering Division. He's a bastard to everybody, and everyone pities the pool fool who's married to him, whoever he/she may be. Until they meet him. Then they all jump to erroneous conclusions as to why he took the position at SI. Tony Stark eventually sets them straight. After he busts a gut laughing, that is.
I Heard a Rumor (the Miss Jones Syndrome Remix) – iberiandoctor
Summary: A ring appears on Professor Charles Xavier's finger. The student body at the University of Utopia embarks on a mission to find its source, and makes an unexpected discovery.
X-Men Apocalypse's 1980s-era powered universe in which the name of the school is more than wishful thinking, at least on mutant-friendly Genosha. Charles Xavier is a genetics professor at the University of Utopia; Emma Frost and Tony Stark are his best friends; Charles’s students are extremely nosy and think they know it all. Erik Lehnsherr is… not what you'd expect.
Erik’s Fake Boyfriend - KatSquared
Summary: Emma Frost had her sights set on Erik Lehnsherr, and so did half the campus. However, he made it a point to reject everyone who’s asked him out, and it seemed the man had a “boyfriend” that no one’s ever seen.
Gossip makes the workplace go’round - ximeria
Summary: Apparently if Erik is in a good mood, his employees have to ponder how that may have come to be. Their ideas are, however, wildly off the mark.
Prom Kings - Project896
Summary: "now that you've mentioned it, Im actually curious." Angel whispers so that Mr. Xavier won't have to give them his sad puppy eyes to get them back to reading their books.
"Yeah, he's been wearing that ring since he moved here last year, who do you think his wife is?" Raven glances up to make sure Mr. Xavier is still busy helping Sean understand the story, while doing so, she eyed the golden ring on his ring finger.
Bang! A boomerang is love! - magichistorian
Summary: Everyone knew Mr. Xavier and Mr. Lehnsherr hated each other's guts.
Right?
JJ´s Round-the-Clock Breakfast Bounty Platter - pocky_slash
Summary: Ron makes a friend. As if that's not weird enough on its own, Leslie's pretty sure he's in the mob. (Also, Charles is charming and Erik is the opposite of that.)
In Plain Sight - archipelago (arcanewinter)
Summary: A story where Charles and Erik have basically been together from the first time they met. The whole fate, wow we found each other thing. Now I would like the others not to know and try to bring the two 'oblivious' guys together. They of course enjoy this quite a lot.
Nevermore - amarriageoftrueminds
Summary: [Missing scene] This is what should have happened after Raven and Charles' contretemps in the kitchen.
I Did Not Just See You Kissing Magneto - swoopswoop
Summary: Alex spots Charles and Erik sharing a kiss while a building is collapsed around them before the latter runs off with the Professor.
Or Erik gets bored and so kidnaps Charles.
The Bitter Consequences - swoopswoop
Summary: It was all an accident, they never meant for the other's to find out. Of course, when they did, there was nothing left but to face the music.
Santa’s Helper (The Santa’s Secret Remix) - traumaschwinge
Summary: Raven loves her idiot brother dearly. She wants him to be happy, honest. It's just really hard sometimes when he acts like a teenager instead of a full grown adult.
Or: Raven watches Erik and Charles dance around their crush on each other until she snaps.
A Job Well Done – grim_lupine
Summary: Raven can safely say that when she met Erik in junior year, she didn’t expect she’d ever be having this conversation.
Who’d have thunk? - ximeria
Summary: While everyone knows that Charles and Erik can be a bad influence on each other, there are other sides to their, at times, insane relationship.
Everything Hits at Once - afrocurl
Summary: David's relationship with Charles is tenuous at best, but coming to watch the launch of Cerebro can't be a good idea. Can it?
For the Record - endingthemes
Summary: As prominent figures in the mutant rights movement, activists Charles Xavier and Erik Lehnsherr are pretty much household names. When a romance scandal between them breaks, their celebrity reaches new heights, and though the increased exposure is great, there’s a big problem -- the two of them are just friends.
Too bad no one believes them.
Note: Technically not an outsider’s POV but everyone is wondering about their relationship and it’s just one of my faves.
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Did I post this before?…Birb can’t remember.
Purpled plays a game of bedwars with Techno, but gets a little over his head with it. (ah shit, here we go again)
He swung his legs back and forth on one of Hypixel’s waiting benches, watching players fight and quarrel on the islands in the distance. The feeling of the splintering wood underneath him made him wince as he shifted a bit. Purpled sighed, leaning his head on his hands. Notch, I’m so bored. Why does everyone suck today? He felt a tug of temptation to join them, to slaughter them with the edge of his sword and the silver spark of his witty remarks. He waved it off, shaking his head a little. I can’t do that, not today. I’m waiting for him. Him...His eyes unfocused, thinking about the man he was to spar with today. Technoblade. He’s well-lauded and all that, but is he really that good? I mean, I know he was good back in the day, but things are different. So different. He focused back to see one of the people on the island getting yelled at. He leaned in, looking at the player closely. Noticing an illegal weapon on him, he shook his head, tutting quietly. “Jeez, you’d think that they would know to not cheat in such a public place.” A rough, ragged voice spoke up behind him. “You’d think so. They ain’t that smart, though.”
He yelped, turning to look at the offender. Purple eyes met crimson. Purpled jumped off the bench, stumbling a little bit. “W-wha? How did you get here so fast? I didn’t-” “Hear me? Of course you wouldn’t hear me. I prefer not to be heard, Purpled. That’s the warrior’s way.” After his brief startle, he collected himself almost immediately, looking at the hulking piglin hybrid up and down. The two of them were very close to one another- he could hear the heavy breathing of the warrior and the small snuffling noises he was making in between breaths. He glanced at his face for a moment, a sudden wave of shyness overcoming his usually witty and snarky personality. He stuttered a little as he spoke. “S-so! How did you get all this gold? I thought you couldn’t bring in things you didn’t find from Hypixel.”
The bigger of the two grinned a little, tusks shining an off-white in the sunlight. “I found it here too. Got them from unlucky people who got in my way. They were annoying anyways. Shouldn’t have waved gold in the piglin’s face.” He pointed towards the bedwars pedestal. “Are we going to do this or what?” The younger bedwars player’s mind swirled in confusion. What was he saying? Was he being sarcastic? Mocking? Completely neutral? Dear Notch, I have no clue what he’s thinking. He took an uncertain step towards the statue. More important question. Do I like him? Should- “We can back out if you want. It just means I have a little less blood for me later.” He snapped out of his little trance, looking at the piglin in a mix of annoyance and challenge. The pink-haired warrior dug out something from underneath his nails, leaning on the statue in a pose of pure apathy. He looked at the younger with a look of bored expectancy, a look that he had seen on himself in the mirror on particularly dreary days. He bristled a little, but he knew that it probably wasn’t on purpose. The guy is supposedly not the best at social cues. I’ll just have to bear with it. Bear with it, bear with it…
He gritted his teeth a little. “Yeah, we’ll do this. Let’s go.” He stalked up to the statue, ready to tap it, before a ring-encrusted hand grabbed his wrist. “Before we do.” He held up a small modded enchant book. “Asked the mods if we could do a private, modded match. Makes it more fun.” Purpled snorted, a bit of his normal snarkiness showing through again. “Need a little boost? No probs. Seems fine to me.” Techno grinned again, showing the bottom rows of his teeth in a minorly intimidating gesture. “Whatever you say, kid. Just telling you, this may be one of the more dangerous bonding activities we can do.”
The younger ignored his statement, tapping the statue and setting up a new private match. “Dangerous for you,” he muttered, purple irises flicking back and forth as he read how to add in the mod. Snorting, Techno kneeled down, chains swinging back and forth as he moved. A specific one that hung from his tusk and connected to a clip on his ear caught the boy’s eye. Their eyes met, purple gazing at crimson with the intensity of a man who had seen the furies of war. Techo looked back at the boy with no such idea in mind. He gestured towards the statue. “Ready?” Purpled nodded, eager to begin. His mind whirred to life again, immediately planning out his modes of attack against the piglin. I know this will be hard, but I really, really want to win against him! I heard from Tommy that he was good, but how good? Man, I sure hope that he does something really different than the others!
Techno looked in amusement at the boy. I’m guessing he’s already planning. What did I expect? He is a bedwars player, after all. The thing is, he doesn’t know what the mod that I installed does. He herded the boy, who was certainly still very lost in thought, towards the statue, tapping it on its cap-covered head. As the two warped, Purpled yelped in surprise at the noise. “What?” He looked up at the piglin in astonishment, landing on both feet and stumbling a little as he touched the ground. Techno simply shrugged from across the map, hoping the boy could see him. They both stepped into their respective pickup areas, items making small noises as they picked up the valuables from the ground. Purpled, humming with excitement, was chomping at the bit to get to Techno. I’m not sure if he remembers, but speed is key here. I’ve got to get to mid fast!
He scooped up the gold and iron frantically, running over to the shopkeeper and exchanging items with him quickly. As he ran, he dropped iron bars here and there, making the man snort a little at the bedwars player. He whispered to the other shopkeepers through the corner of his mouth. “That one’s always in a rush, ain’t he? Eccentric one, mi lads. If ya haven’t seen ‘im around, ya missing out. Always got the most fascinatin’ stories to tell in the lounge, ya know.” As the boy ran, placing blocks quickly, he looked out to the piglin’s island, expecting some movement. Nothing. As he reached middle, he gathered the emeralds carefully, glancing out to the island again and again. Nothing. He walked back to his island, whistling a tune. He armored himself and gathered materials. When he peeked out at the island, once again, he saw no activity. No defense, no nothing.
“What is he doing?” He wondered aloud. “What kind of strategy is that?” He walked out fully, looking around in confusion. The second he stepped near to his bed defense, the sound of fabric rustling reached his ears. A pink and red blur pounced on him, pinning him to the slanted fabric. “Gotcha.” A low voice purred beside his ear. The sound of his voice made him shiver. “W-what? How did-” Techno shushed him, continuing to pin the boy to his defense.
Realizing his lack of movement, the astonished boy began to struggle in his hold, pushing against him as much as he could from his pinned position. The piglin growled lowly, pushing him further onto the fabric, his chains hanging over the boy’s neck and ears as he did so. One of the chains, specifically the one that he had his eyes on earlier, scraped ever so slightly over Purpled’s neck, dragging gently over his collarbone. He yelped, struggling a little more to avoid the sensation. Technoblade raised an eyebrow at his reaction. “Oh? Are you ticklish? Didn’t hear Phil tell me ‘bout that.” He stared at the pinned boy beneath him, making him turn away and blush a soft pink. “I-I’m not.” Techno grinned, shifting a little so the chain moved over his neck again. Purpled scrunched up his neck a little, giggling lightly, before looking straight at Techno with wide eyes. “Ihihit’s nohot what it looks like! There was- ack!” The piglin scooped him up with both arms, cradling him lightly, before moving towards the middle of the islands.
With every step he took, Purpled could feel the power and speed in his movements. At one point, he stopped at a large gap, looking down at the void below. The void sparkled lightly, beckoning the two of them into its cold embrace. The piglin stared as if he was entranced, looking at the sparkles for a few minutes too long. Purpled began to wriggle, hoping that the hybrid wouldn’t notice his movements. Techno seemed to pay him no heed, staring at the (decidedly gold-looking) sparkles down below. As he moved, he noticed a small little movement, catching his eye in an instant. Freezing in place, he looked for the movement again, heart in his throat. Then, out of the corner of his eye, he sees Techno’s ear, a little floppy triangle nestled deep in the man’s ponytail, twitch ever so slightly. Purpled sighed lightly in relief, moving to hop out of the piglin’s arms. I thought that was a larger part of him. If it was, I’d be-
One of the hands that held him shifted slightly, making his breath hitch slightly. He looked to his side to see one of his hands shift to keep him pinned in his grasp. “No escaping. Not on my watch.” A large hand grabbed at his side, making him squeak a little. “Oh? Did my little captive just squeak? I thought you weren’t ticklish.” He grabbed at his side again, listening for the telltale squeak. He grinned at the high-pitched giggle he got in response, finally snapping himself out of his daze fully and looking straight at the flustered boy in his arms. “C-captive? I’m a captive?” Ignoring his stuttering protests, the piglin gently squeezed at the boy’s sides, making him squirm and giggle. “Hehehey! Stohop!” “A person who isn’t ticklish wouldn’t say that, would they? I think you might be a little bit of a liar. And you know how liars get punished in our household?” Purpled pushed himself away from his hand as much as he could. “Hohohow?” His hand grabbed firmly at his side, vibrating lightly. “TehehehECHNO!” He leaned down a little bit more, whispering as well as he could into the younger’s ear. “We tickle them.”
The bedwars player would have paled, if his blood would cooperate. Instead, warmth flushed into his face and cheeks as he giggled and pushed at the hand half-heartedly. He knew better than to attempt to escape the piglin, especially since he had seen the man follow that beanie-wearing bird hybrid across the SMP. He had seen just how fast Techno could go. There’s no way out of this, is there? I should have known that he was up to no good. The warrior in question began to move to his own base, hopping from place to place with ease. As the gentle winds buffered at his face, he unconsciously buried his face deeper into Techno’s chest, making the man smile. Why is he so cute? The voices, for once (or twice) in his life, agreed with him readily. E. Technosoft? Technoprotect. Purpled is so cute, aww… He placed blocks as he went, bridging with ease and jumping from area to area as if he was practicing parkour. Maybe this kid wouldn’t be that bad of an addition to the family.. No. I have enough people as it is. As he thought, the boy shifted in his arms, looking up at him with wide eyes. “M-Mr. Techno? Uh..are we there yet?” He looked down to meet his eyes, melting a little at the sight of the kid. “We’re almost there, Purpled.” He ignored the voices’ plea to call him by a nickname or something equally embarrassing.
Come on, Techno. Don’t be a party pooper.
Blood god is soft aww-
Nope. He shook his head, trying to ignore the voices as best he could. Not soft at all. Once he felt the smooth stone of his base below his hooves, he placed the boy on the bed, trusting him not to break it. (Not that he would care, anyways. Technoblade never dies, and that’s a fact.)
He loomed over him, staring down at him. Purpled shrunk away from his stoic gaze, flushing a little more. “Why dihid you bring me here?” Techno smirked from his vantage point, gold-encrusted tusks twinkling like stars among an ebony sky. He leaned down, putting both of his arms on the two sides of the bed, ruffling the sheets gently. “I was told to do a bonding activity with you. And the one that seems to work the best with everyone is tickling them.” Purpled giggled a bit at the word, squirming a bit in excitement fear. “B-but, you said-” “We’d play a game of bedwars? We’re currently on a map, with the same things and circumstances as a bedwars game. Same difference.” He punctuated his words with a quick jab to the boy’s sides, grinning at the resulting squeak. “St-stop! Dohon’t do that!”
Techno ignored him, placing one of his hands over the other’s stomach. He let it rest there, hand and wrist heavy on his tum. Purpled, looking down at the hand from his position, whimpered a little, secretly wanting him to start already. He wasn’t used to this sort of waiting game with virtually anything. But a small part of him was enjoying the slow-paced teasing. After all, it’s not like he gets a lot of time to slow down and relax, after all. He just didn’t expect this hulking piglin to be the one to make him take a chill pill. He tried to slow his breathing, shoulders shuddering lightly as he did so. Techno noticed, corners of his mouth quirking up a bit at the cute sight of the purple-clad boy trying his best to relax his shoulders. “Is something the matter?” he teased, shifting his hand ever-so-slightly from its position on his quivering belly. He squeaked quietly, ears turning a slight shade of red. “I-Its nothing!” He refrained from telling the piglin that he was resting his hand on one of his most sensitive spots. The less he knows, the better.
Techno was unimpressed by his reaction, quirking one wine-colored eyebrow shifting upwards. “Nothing, you say? And what if I do this?” He rubbed lightly over the boy’s stomach, moving in a slow, almost lazy circle. Instantaneously, his ears were blessed by Purpled’s small, bubbly giggles. “Nohoho! Dohohon’t!” Instead of speeding up and ruthlessly wrecking him, the piglin continued to rubs languidly over his tum, wondering how much of the light teasing the usually fast-moving player would be able to handle. The voices agreed with his methods, but stayed unusually quiet.
Tease slow.
Hah, Technoslow.
Technoslow? He ignored the slight ribbing, choosing to whisper quiet teases and rub at him some more. Purpled continued to giggle away, flushing lightly under his scrutinizing gaze. What is he thinking? He’s so serious. Also, is he going to speed up or what? He was beginning to get more and more flustered as he continued to rub the same spot at the exact same speed. He squirmed lightly, trying to push his stomach into his hand, but he pulled away just as much, snorting quietly in mirth. “Getting impatient are we?” “I’m not impatient, you’re just going so slow-” “Want me to go faster? With pleasure.” Techno’s gold-encrusted fingers dug lightly into his ticklish tummy, making the boy yelp and giggle louder. “Ehehehe, Tehehehechno…”
He turned his head away from him, trying to avoid eye contact in his embarrassment. “Is your tum a little bit ticklish, hm? That’s so cute.” Purpled curled up a little bit at that, shaking his head. “Nohohot cuhuhute!” The piglin quickly darted his hand underneath his hoodie, scratching lightly at the sensitive skin on his belly. His laughter went up an octave, bubbly giggles morphing to full blow laughter. “Tehehehechno! Yohohohou- dohohohON’T-”
“Don’t what? Do this?” He traced the outside of the boy’s navel, watching as the boy squirmed and flushed a brighter shade of red. “Yeheheheah! Thahahat!” Techno grinned and sped up his circling, making the boy squeal. “Do that? Alright, Purpled. Whatever you say, kiddo.”
“NoHO, IHIHI SAHAHAID DOHOHON’T!” The piglin pulled his hoodie up fully, exposing his quivering tummy, and nuzzled his face and snout onto the boy’s exposed skin, fluffy cheeks and face making the nuzzles almost torturous to the flustered lee. Purpled all but shrieked, hands flying to Techno’s face and pushing at him as best he could. “NOHOHOHO! PLEHEHEASE!” The boy, flustered as he was, felt a smattering of butterflies in his stomach, ready to take flight. “You like that, kid?” Purpled couldn’t bring himself to say no, nodding through his boisterous laughter. The warrior smiled, nuzzling deeper into the hysterical boy’s tum. “Hey Purpled, what’s your favorite fruit?” Purpled cocked his head a little, confused. “Whahahahat dohoho yohohohou mehehean?” Techno grinned. “Because my favorite fruits are raspberries.” As Techno lifted his head from his tum, he inhaled sharply, before blowing a large raspberry on the prostrate boy’s stomach.
Purpled shrieked, wiggling and pushing at the piglin’s head in hysteria. “EEE! TEHEHECHNOHOHO!” “Yes, Purpled?” “S-SWIHIHITCH SPOHOHOTS!” He quickly shifted to his sides, squeezing and tasering lightly. Almost immediately, his laughter calmed down a little. “Better, kiddo?” “Yehehehes...Th-thahahanks…” The boy flushed from beneath him, looking away from him bashfully. Techno smiled softly at the purity of the kid. He’s so soft and small, isn’t he? Always one to rely on tactics more than brute strength. It’s kind of cute, actually. As he poked and prodded the squirming boy’s sides, he heard a noise akin to a small chirp come out of the boy's mouth. Purpled slapped his hands to his mouth, eyes widening in shock.
Techno slowed down a bit more, prodding at the same spots in an attempt to elicit the same reaction. When he poked a specific spot right beside his ribs, he chirped again, a soft sound that certainly didn’t match with his laughter and stood out like a sore thumb to Techno’s sensitive ears. “Are you a bird hybrid?” Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Purpled’s facial expression freeze. “No, no I’m not.” “You’re not? Are-” “No. I’m not.” The voice that came out of his mouth seemed robotic, cold, completely different from his normal voice. No teasing or sass tinted his voice. Why is he lying about this? Did someone teach him to do this?
He shifted his hands to his back, feeling for the joints of his wings carefully. He sucked in a breath when he felt wing-binding bandages instead of feathers. “Who did this to you? Who-” “I did.” He looked at his face in shock. “Why would you do this to yourself?” He felt his heart sink into his boots. Purpled’s stony face revealed nothing about his inner emotional state, simply repeating what he had said before in a eerily monotone voice. “I did.” Internalized trauma? I knew there was a reason Phil wanted me to ‘bond’ with him. Jeez, he really needs to tell me what I’m looking for. This is getting ridiculous. Techno gently groped for the end of the binds, loosening them with small, deft movements. Purpled made no move to stop him, blankly staring at him as if he saw nothing. As if he saw nothing and everything at the same time. As if he was stuck in time, he made no noise, not moving from his stock-still position. The warrior’s concern rose as he continued to unwind the binds, weak, dilapidated wings flopping out from their restraints.
Do they even have muscles anymore? That’s going to take quite a while to strengthen. Damn, how long has Purpled bound his wings like this? He poked at one gently, stopping immediately when the boy inhaled sharply at his touch. He knew better than to attempt to help on his own. “I need to get you to Phil. Are you okay with that?” Purpled made no effort to answer him, continuing to stare into space. The voices supplied him with info to fill the gaps.
He’s disassociating.
E.
Kill?
No kill.
His wings are done for.
He shook his head. No, I’m not going to let him lose his wings. Phil and I can still help him, as long as he cooperates. Even though his voices continued to tell him that there was a low chance of giving him back the ability to fly, he scooped the boy up, running over to the exit portal as quickly as he could. He darted through the crowds of people, ignoring the looks that he got in return. He typed in the coordinates he needed to warp to, heart in his throat. This is serious. His wings look as if he hasn’t unbound them for weeks. Did someone force him to do it? Was he on an abusive SMP? So many questions, too little time.
The second the portal let him into the SMP, he pushed through the snow with the urgency of a husky returning home, snow crunching merrily in stark contrast with the flurry of emotions in Techno’s chest. He slammed the door open, hoping that he didn’t break the doorframe in the back of his mind, before calling for Phil. “Phil! Purpled!” Philza climbed down the ladder, smile freezing at the sight of the boy’s emaciated wings. “Oh shit.”
He slid down the rest of the ladder, hopping off with practiced ease. Rushing over to the two of them, he hurriedly scooped up the limp boy, hurrying him to the medical area of the house. He placed the boy down on a medical table, belly down, and took a proper look at the state of the boy’s weakened wings. He pulled one out to its full extension, wincing at the way it moved. He halfheartedly tried to preen the remaining feathers on the wings, gasping quietly as a few feathers came out with the slightest touch. Techno stood to the side, fiddling with his armguards and chains. After a few minutes of horrified silence from the duo, Philza’s strained voice, usually calm and cool under pressure, rang out, echoing slightly in the sterilized area.
“His wings are really weakened. I’m not sure if we can help him.” Techno grunted at that. “No.” Phil turned to look at him fully, surprised. “What do you mean, ‘no’? I can’t-” “I didn’t decide to bond with this small child, try to learn everything about his likes and dislikes, and run with him in my arms across the whole of hypixel for him to lose his wings.” Techno gently pulled out the boy’s wing, tracing a single finger on the areas where muscle should be. He heard a little giggle come from the boy, making him smile a little.
“We can make this work. First things first, I think we need to teach the boy how to be okay with the way he looks. He’s been the one binding, after all.” Philza, still shocked at the idea that Techno made an actual bond with the small, hoodie-wearing bedwars player, nodded slowly, charm string on his bucket hat bouncing slightly. “H-he’s been binding? He was the one binding it?” Techno made no move to answer that. He flipped the boy over onto his back, being very careful of his wings. He began to shake the kid softly, trying to make him snap out of his daze...was it still a daze? He looked at him closer, confused. Could he be asleep? Poking gently at his cheek, he tried to rouse him again, only getting a soft snore in response. Oh yeah, he’s asleep. The voices spoke up again, drowning out all reasonable thought for a moment.
Kill him.
Liability.
No, don’t do that.
Syndicate?
E.
Blood for the blood god.
Kill, kill, kill-
“Stop.” He shook his head, trying to clear his head. “I’m not killing him. No.” “Voices acting up again?” He nodded, not attempting to look at his friend in the eyes, lest he loses focus on his train of thought. Boots click softly on the floor, and suddenly, he feels a warm, comforting blanket of pressure wrap around him. He struggled to control his breathing, shoulders shuddering. The wing wrapped around him curled around him, squeezing him comfortingly. The noise of the voices continued to whisper, making him shiver. I need to control them. I’m not killing him. Phil moved closer to him, trilling at the larger one of the two. “Hey, hey. Listen to me, okay? Techno. You’re fine.” He continued to speak to the man, hoping desperately that he would snap out of it soon.
At this rather inopportune moment, Purpled began to stir, shifting around a little. Rubbing his eyes, he sat up with one arm, yawning a little. “W-wha?” He looked around blearily, confused by the unknown area. His eyes widened a little when he saw Techno, grinning sleepily. Unknowing of the dilemma going on in his head, he moved into the piglin’s line of sight. “Hey, Techno. Thanks for helping me.” He smiled at him, giving him the most charming smile he could .Didn’t want him to be mad at him, no? I mean, this is probably his house. As he looked, he realized that the person beside him had wings too. He looked at the other man, tilting his head slightly in puzzlement. “W-who are you?” He recognized him from the parties and hangouts the SMP would do, but knew nothing else about the man. He’d never seen his wings, either. Did he bind, too?
Techno snapped out of his daze, looking down at the young avian. He grinned back at the kid. “Hey. Good to see you’re awake.” Purpled stared at the older avian’s wings in wonder. He blurted out, “Your wings are so big and pretty, mister...uh…” “Philza.” Phil was already charmed by the little one of the trio. He’s so small! I kind of want to keep him...nope. Not doing that. I already have enough adopted children. Even as he thought that, he continued to internally coo at that younger one, tilting his head at the same angle as the boy. “We need to take care of your wings, mate. You think you can let us do that?” Purpled flinched lightly at the word, but tried his best to stay still. They are trying to help me...right?
Against his better judgement, he queried, “B-but..why do I need my wings, Mr. Philza, Mr.Techno? Why can’t I just...do without? They’re not very useful anyways.” He pulled out one of them with his hands, wincing at the feeling of limp flesh shifting as he did so. “It’s not like I can fly with them.” Philza gently grabbed at the other wing, tracing over the wing structure. Purpled giggled slightly, trying to stay still for the elder. He poked at a certain mass at the very edge of the crook, pointing at it. “Can you feel this? This is one of the last muscles to erode. As long as you have that muscle, you should be able to fly again, with some work.”
Purple eyes widened in shock. “But- I thought- I thought I couldn’t fly? Ever?” “Nah, kid.” He poked at the mass again, smiling at him. “You can.” He felt liquid burn underneath his eyes. He blinked, trying to keep the tears back. Through his tear-blurred vision, he saw Philza smile at him. “We can make it happen kid.” Techno piped up for the first time in quite a while, snorting angrily. “And whoever told you you can’t fly is going to get a personal visit from me and my axe of peace.” He pulled out a shining netherite axe, tapping it lightly on the side of the table.
Purpled laughed, a watery sound that made both of the elders stir to life, ready to hug him. But he waved it off, swiping off the tears with practiced (almost too practiced) ease. He stuttered slightly, warmth and gratefulness seeping into his voice like heat from a hot chocolate into a pair of cold hands in the wintertime. “T-thank you.” He moved to hug Philza, grabbing at the man and sobbing into his shirt. Phil pat his back, rubbing soothing circles into them. “Of course, kid.” Techno moved closer, dropping the axe on the floor with a clatter and wrapping his arms around the two of them. “Group hug,” he deadpanned, snuggling into the two and effectively squashing the smallest in between the two of them. Purpled made no move to escape the duo, chirping happily.
The house was silent. The three of them basked in the soft, warm feeling of being loved. Unfortunately, no such peace ever stays intact. With a loud bang, Tommy slammed the door open. “What’s up, motherfuckers!” He sauntered into the room, grin freezing on his face at the look of surprise on Purpled’s face. “Oh...hello.” Purpled smiled at him, too happy to be disturbed by the rambunctious kid. Tommy speed-walked past them, not trying to disturb them anymore. Muffled by the layers of fabric and feathers, Phil quipped lightly, “Any more things to disturb the hug?” Techno huffed. “I mean, if you wanted to know...I did find out that Purpled’s ticklish.”
Purpled’s heart stopped. Oh crap. “No, hehe...let’s not talk about that…” “Nah, I think we should talk about it. It’s real interestin’...” The youngest scrambled to escape the duo’s grasp, only to be grabbed by the hood of his hoodie. Philza pulled him back, grinning. “Oh no, you don’t.” He turned to look at Techno, smiling as the two of them untangled themselves. He scooped up the younger, poking at his ribs as he did so. “Ready for round two, kiddo? I want to find out all of your spots myself.” “NohoHO!” Techno stood back, crossing his arms with a slight smile. I guess some things do end up turning out right after all. He leaned back, watching the other two have their fun. And all was calm outside the house of the syndicate...except, you know...literally everything. But that’s a story for later.
#Lee!purpled#ler!techno#old fic#my writing#downy writes#dsmp tickle#mcyt tickle#Tell me if I posted this alreadt#Lol#sfw tickling
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hi im talking to you :D i have an ask! what are some head-canons you have of lawlight ? ꒰◍ᐡᐤᐡ◍꒱
oh hi <3 this is a,,,compilation of hcs i hsve so many more i can come up but that would probably be endless. anyway here's some of my lawlight hcs :
- i talked (and wrote) about L with his hobby/interest in art and Light in writing right? Yeah, they 'collaborated' some time. Like L left for a bit and came back with a paragraph next to his drawing in his sketchbook. Or Light would wake up with his notebook filled with pretty doodles. It's very much not unwanted.
- Light's not good at cooking at all. But he's good at baking (and loves it) even though baked goods aren't his first choice. So where it all go to? L's stomach, obviously.
- they're speaking in codes. like, not even intentionally. especially in public, they kinda just talk casually and it actually has deeper meaning only they (their somehow ability to mind read each other) can understand. people are either think they're talking abt the most boring thing ever or they're talking in riddles.
- stolen glances when someone, especially criminals do some stupid shit
- *points at an ugly mugshot* it's you
- main love language is acts of service. but quality time is also a yes
- holding hands. anything, anywhere, anyhow. can't hold hands? shoulder rub/squeeze (i love that they canonically like to do this to each other)
- despite being (self proclaimed) good at massaging, L is actually the one who needs more massage (those poor muscles and nerves of his) than Light does and Light tries his best
- bullying is a love language in this household
- too many of L's sweatshirt suddenly moves into Light's side of the closet
- L improves his eating habits. He wants to live as long as he could now when he has someone to share it god damnit.
- L is the new apple release new phone type of person while Light use the same phone for years
- just get out of the room if you're in there when they started arguing, safe your ears, love yoursef.
- better use data when you're in their home, the wifi password is so fucking complicated
- despite L telling him to use his money (seriously, black card and all) however he like, Light still uses his own money when he shops for himself.
- don't seat them behind the steer. light is a bad driver and L is even WORSE. L is probably an annoying honker lol.
#my brain is full of them#ty for this ask omg#death note#l lawliet#lawlight#light yagami#whoa someone talk to me#it's 1am dont mind me if i didnt make any sense
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stuck with you
↬ Pairing: Kozume Kenma x reader
↬ Timeline: timeskip
↬ Genre: Fluff ☁️
↬ Wordcount: 1,061
↬ Masterlist: HERE!
↬ AN: another self-indulge fic that relates to me sometimes even before quarantine has started. Im currently ongoing with online classes which I believe is making me lazier than I usually do but still it's better than when my classes haven’t started. And this is basically the rules that my country had mandated during the first wave of covid where we couldn’t go out like we do now. Anyhow, stay safe everyone and thank you frontlines, may god bless you all.
“What are you doing?” Kenma popped his head and looked at you questionably as he looked at the wall clock. It was close to 2pm and you haven't even got up from your bed. “I’m meditating.” You answer as you tugged the covers off you. It was a hot day, and it has been close to two weeks of total quarantine. Only the head households are allowed to go out and its only on Tuesday and Thursday so getting the groceries wasn’t an activity you can do now.
“Get up, y/n.” he said softly walking towards you and pulling your leg softly. “You’re not meditating, you’re sleeping and it’s only going to make your insomnia worse if you sleep during the day.” Kenma only sigh worriedly looking at you. He can't blame you for being so lethargic.
Before the lockdown, you were always moving around from one place to another and to Kenma, the current situation isn't that much different from his usual maybe for the university part, but his university decided to have a short break to adjust with the unforeseeable events.
“Get up and take a shower y/n. I have cooked some noodles and we’ll have to think early what we’ll eat tonight since food delivery is only until 7pm.” He walked towards the bathroom and got your clothes ready for you. You only send a glare at him but continue pouting when he pointed towards the bathroom.
You both were eating in silence and yet it saddens Kenma out to see his sunshine all worn down. You both knew this quarantine was for the best and knew how thankful you were to the healthcare profession, but you just can't help but feel the quarantine have been dragging you so down. “Let’s do this.” Kenma reaches for your hand on the other side of the table.
“Every day we’ll do a new activity, so you would be excited every day.Besides, I’m stuck with you and you’re stuck with me. ” You brighten up at the idea. “Hey! You made that sound like it’s a bad thing.” You pouted playfully. You had always been someone that just couldn’t sit still and Kenma was the total opposite. It still amazed Kuroo how someone like Kenma fall in love with someone as restless as you. Kenma gain the courage to confess to you right after they’ve won a game and you, you always had a crush on him.
“Hey babe, can you get the parcel at the door. I’m still streaming.” He shouted from his work room aka his game room. You obliged since you weren't actually doing anything. You picked up the parcel that the deliveryman left after he had announced that there was a parcel. It was contactless ofcourse to avoid the virus spreading around. You picked up the box and left it on the counter when Kenma went out of his room and picked up a penknife.
“Let’s open my present for us. Thankfully it didn’t sell out before I bought it because this is a quarantine essential.” He urged you to help him open the parcel and it was two Nintendo switch. “Babe!” You were in shock as you pulled out not one but two Nintendo switch. “You could have just bought one.” You told him again when he went ahead and open his as you still shocked staring at the box.
“If I bought one, I can’t play Animal Crossing with you. Now less complaining, more islandning.” You thought that was the last where he had spent money just for you to have a different activity. The next day, a parcel of embroideries set came. When you asked him all he said that ‘Tiktok says it’s fun.” The next was a painting set by numbers, and the other day was skincare set that Kenma sees everywhere in Tiktok.
The next day after he had done with his activities, he pulled you towards the gaming room. “Let’s farming.” He said briefly and you were confused until you see the ‘Stardew Valley’ intro. It was easy to get lose in the game. The next day, he taught you to play Valorant. It was intense and you play with Kuroo, Yaku and Lev too. It was fun, you must admit since you can’t physically see them.
The next after, you played Among Us but this time there was Shoyo, Kageyama, Tsukishima, Bokuto, and Akaashi. It was truly fun and scary to see how Kenma could lie straight to everyone faces but one thing for sure was that he refused to kill you which led to Kuroo calling him a simp. A term that you definitely have heard but didn’t know the meaning off.
“Love?” You peeked at him as he was scrolling through the online shopping site. “What are you doing?” You walked towards him. “Oh, I didn’t know you were up. I was looking for some fun activities to do.” You frowned looking at him, pulling him outside to the living room. “Let’s watch anime or kdrama for today.” He gave you a frown but still followed you out as you picked what show you wanted.
And as much as you hated how he was spending his money recklessly; you still love every inch of Kenma for going beyond just so that he could see you smile. You were getting ready for bed when you see that Kenma was still streaming. You decided to peek at him and slowly walked behind his chair, your hand looping around his neck before kissing his cheek. “Let’s just stick to watching shows or playing games and anything we’ve had for tomorrow and the next day it comes.” Kenma didn’t paused his game yet he took a glance towards you, “You’ll get bored--”
“As long as I’m with you and we’re together, I’ll never get bored.” You said kissing his forehead, forgetting that the stream was still on. “Ah, I’m sorry guys, I have to end the stream abruptly.” He said and pulled you towards the bedroom. “What? What about your stream Kodzuken, your fans Kenchis?.” You said pushing him softly, but he shook his head. “Kuroo’s right. I am a simp for you.” You only can tilt your head confused looking at him. “And my fans are not Kenchis.” He laid his head on your lap as you played with his hair.
↬ happy late birthday kenma!!
↬ luckily kenma is a rich btch that can buy the nintendo switch. i cant relate since im broke af and i still want to play acnh. and all i wanted is to have gaming dates with my s/o but first i need to find a s/o.
#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x y/n#kenma x reader#kozume x reader#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu scenarios#haikyuu!!#timeskip kenma#kenma kozume
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tis is ranon! i wanna try the twisted match-up eventho it'll probably hurts. my worst traits would be
1. Not knowing myself well enough, having to ask others how i actually am from their eyes instead of looking through my own lense because I care of other's judgement better than mine.
2. I suck at handling compliment. Everytime anybody says anything good about me, I always get defensive by saying no, change the topic of the conversation, or saying "thank you, but [insert why i don't deserve compliment]"
3. Similar to the 2nd one, I have horrible horrible self esteem. I never really look at myself in a good light, I think I am horrible. Sometimes I feel like "im the worst" yet some of the times I feel like "woah I'm a queen". Even worse, sometimes I don't have the motivation to better myself in order to raise my self esteem.
My favourite(s) would be reiner and jean, you can choose the one with the worst(or whoever you prefer) compatibility with my traits. tears up already as I slip 1 dollar to your hand, whispering happy ending please..
Pairing: Jean x Reader
Summary: You accidentally meet Jean, your high school sweetheart, thirteen years later. While he has turned into a successful man whose face you'd see on TV a lot, you think of your life and what could have been with him, if only...
Tags: Angst/Fluff, coming of age, slice of life
Word Count: 3.6K
A/N: Oh Ranon my sweet child, hereby I present to thee... hopefully an antidote to the despair Yams had given us with 138. Hope you like it love!
Song mentioned: Linger by The Cranberries
"It's nice to see a familiar face 'round here."
There was no word that could describe the feelings you had upon hearing that voice. A voice that was once the first sound you hear in the morning and the one you say goodbye to before falling asleep. A voice that you had not heard for what felt like forever.
You didn't have to turn around to tell who it was, "Jean?"
The two of you erupted in laughter, both surprised by the mere coincidence of meeting each other at this old and ran-down department store, on the outskirt of the town you both grew up in.
Jean was quick to pull you into a big embrace that you gladly came into. A familiar piece of warmth was his hug, and yet it had struck you as odd that it did not feel foreign at the closest, although it had been years since the last time you met him.
Jean had grown very tall. There was no longer his signature undercut as he had let his hairs to grow past his ear. His chiseled jaw hid beneath dark brown beard he now had. You pretended to check him out and be shocked with the view, "You really grew! Like grew, GREW!" as if you hadn't seen him on the news station or the daily mail. As if you didn't follow his Instagram with your second account. As if you never thought of him at all.
He held your shoulder and pulled away to look at you, "Thirteen years and you don't look any different."
Your face grew hot and the compliment sent an uncanny discomfort to your guts, "Ah the lighting sucks here - to my advantage, fortunately."
There was a disapproving look in Jean's eyes for a passing moment before he carried on with the conversation. He didn't expect to see you at the old department store the two of you used to roam in after school, he said. Neither did you to ever meet him again, especially here. A place so awfully ordinary for someone who had grown to be the best version of himself. Jean had finally achieved his dream to be a household name in the country as one of the rising young attorneys.
The celebrity status he had achieved, all the actresses and models he had dated - it all inflicted you with some kind of inexplicable pain. One that made you feel worthless, to say the least. Someone who used to be so close to your heart, had grown so magnificently, leaving you with the painful fate of being ordinary. Yet, still your face lit up in distant pride each time a mention of Jean’s name surfaced, be it from the passing conversation your friend had, or to see it announced by the news anchor for some big public case he was working on.
Jean said that he returned home for a funeral. His uncle died, and he needed a spare sandal. He didn't know any other store, as the area both of you grew up in had changed a lot. Leaving this old department store the only place he could remember.
You passed your condolence but he was more curious with what you were up to. You chuckled because he seemed so serious when he asked, "Didn't you move out to the city? Why the hell are you coming back?" as if the misplacement of seeing someone so glitzy in this boring, dilapidated town didn't apply to him.
So you answered, and Jean turned silent for a moment. He tilted his head downward, and you noticed that he was the same person with the same mannerism. Although he was no longer the 17-year-old boy who used to get all ruffed up in school fight, trying to defend you from some stupid jocks; nor was he still the tall, lanky kid from your Home Economics class that you gave your first kiss to.
Your mind couldn’t help but to race to all the what-ifs, and the presence of Jean before your eyes right now only made the wonderings more palpable.
Jean smiled faintly to your answer, “Congratulations,” he still made his way to pat the side of your head, something he used to do every time, “big step, huh?”
“Yeah, it’s scary.”
“So, who’s the lucky guy? Anyone I know from school?” Jean said, faking the enthusiasm in his tone, but you didn’t notice. Because in your mind, it would be an absurd idea to think that you would still have the tiniest bit of effect on Jean, for he had outgrown all the memories he ever had with you.
“No, no,” you tried to mask the bitterness that suddenly emerged on the back of your tongue, “we met at work. He’s a great guy.”
Indeed, he was. The reason why you returned home was because you were getting married, and your fiancée wanted to be close with your family, for he didn’t have one growing up. He was an exceptional man, he had this magnetism in him, with the way he perceived things, to the abiding tenacity he had in him.
Your fiancée was a man you knew you could lean on in the eye of adversity. That’s why you agreed to marry him. But then again, there was always a void inside your heart that had no resolve to it for so many years. Your fiancée was your foundation, and yet, perhaps selfishly, you still yearned for the childish laughter and the irreplaceable feeling of freedom you once had with the man standing tall before you. Whose glance never failed to make you feel the most at ease with.
“He must be a pretty great guy to get you,” Jean’s faint smile grew into a grin, he was trying to down play the commotion he started to feel within his chest, “what’s his name? So, I can picture him.”
You laughed, because it was only natural for you to do so in the presence of the first guy you had fallen for, the first guy to ever told you how pretty you were and how all your imperfections never mattered to him, the first one to bring your teary face into his embrace after a gruesome day, before saying, ‘I never thought it’s possible. But, crazy, seeing you cry hurts me too.’
However, you knew, that all those memories had passed by and you were happy with where you were now. “Reiner,” you smiled at the mention of his name, “my fiancée’s name is Reiner Braun. He’s… amazing.”
“Wow. Tough name. Probably someone I’d stay clear from in high school.”
Both of you laughed, and the two of you continued to talk, as you walked him through the desolated alleys to find the sandal that he wanted to buy, and Jean walking you to the towel aisle that you had meant to buy one for Reiner, only to find out that they had stopped selling towels since long time ago. The laughter and reminiscing persisted until the cashier row when Jean heard your stomach grumble. Both of you exchanged glances and broke into yet another laughter.
“Salerno’s?” Jean said, suggesting the pizza place off the highway, where you had spent so many dates with him back then.
“How could I ever say no to that?”
“Settled, then. Did you drive here?” Jean’s eyes gazed afar to the parking lot, strangely looking for the old car you used to drive back in school, before realizing that thirteen years had passed and there was no chance that sickly car could ever survive the time.
“No, actually Reiner dropped me and—” As if staged by the universe, your phone rung and Reiner was calling, “—right in time, it’s him!”
You walked away from Jean for a moment as he looked for his car key inside jacket. Across the line, Reiner was gruntling, his voice was hazy, “Babe—”
“Reiner, I bumped into an old friend!” there was a sing-songy tone in your words. Through the phone, Reiner chuckled, picking up the excitement in your voice, even though it was getting more apparent that Reiner was drowsy, “Anyway babe, can you get an Uber? I took the cough syrup your mum gave me, and now I’m sleepy as fuck. ‘Fraid I won’t be able to drive.”
You turned to Jean and saw him jingling his car key at you, before returning back to Reiner on the phone, “Rei, I think my friend can drive me home. I’ll be stopping at Salerno’s, do you want anything? The calzone maybe?”
Reiner yawned, “That sounds nice but—” yet another yawn, “I’m gonna pass out. Come home soon, okay? Tuck me in.”
You cackled at the buff man whining before you said goodbye and followed Jean into his car.
The trip to Salerno’s was nourishing with memories. The poplar trees along the avenue had been replaced by lines of billboards – from advertisement of real estate agent to divorce attorney, they all reminded you of how much the town had changed. Yet the sense of comfort you shared with Jean as you joked about all of the absurd things you saw along the way, had not changed at all.
If for one second you forgot that you were driving in Jean’s expensive car, and that you imagined he was wearing a shabby soccer jersey instead of a tailored-fit shirt – if you closed your eyes and thought that thirteen years hadn’t gone by between the two of you, it almost felt like you rode a time machine to a time when Jean was yours and you were his. And something about the thought of it just broke your heart.
When Jean pulled over at Salerno’s and found out that it’s past the time for dine-in, the two of you decided to eat at his car instead. Jean didn’t even ask what you want and he returned with exactly what you had in mind, the classic calzone, something you always used to have. He remembered.
The two of you laughed, bantered and joked at each other. It felt almost as if no distance had ever been laid out between the two of you, like you hadn’t lived an entirely different life, like he was the same person after all. He hadn’t once made you self-conscious like you thought you would, considering the amount of success he had attained for himself. You felt bad for accusing Jean of the worst, when all it was just a projection of your own insecurity.
“So, you’re getting married on the 15th, and your annoying aunt is not invited?”
“Yeah, thank God for the pandemic somehow. Legit excuse, when all I wanted was not to have her talk shit about Reiner on my wedding day,” you munched through your calzone, talking mindlessly, “as for you, sir, you’re invited. That’s a no-brainer. Hereby I invite thee to my humble dwelling. Bring your model girlfriend, please, so I can brag to my cousins.”
His grin subsided into a weak smile and then into nothing at all, as he sipped on his coke. Suddenly awkward silence loomed within the small space of his car.
“Jean,” you shifted in your seat as the guilt grew on you, realizing the error in your judgment, “sorry I was being presumptuous.”
“No worries, it wasn’t serious. None of it ever was.”
You nodded, engulfed in your own guilt for bringing a bad topic up. The silence let the radio’s murmur to become noticeable, and an old song had just been played through the local radio, a tune that you used to listen with him on the back of your old creaking car after a make-out session filled with enraging teenage hormones.
And I’m in so deep~
You know I’m such a fool for you~
You got me wrapped around your finger I—
Do you have to let it linger?
You sighed and finally looked at Jean with his head hanging low, “Do you want to settle down someday?”
“Eventually.” Jean answered nonchalantly, “Not even sure about the whole relationship thingy.”
“Oh.” An acknowledgment you voiced, before succumbing to yet another silence.
Jean called your name softly and when you turned to face him, he was looking at you. Even in the darkness of the parking lot, you could see his honey eyes gleamed in a look that was so familiar to you—a look of disappointment, “Tell me, how could you never end up working where you’ve always wanted to be?”
You were pulled even deeper into your silence as you looked away. Suddenly a hot rash of sadness started to swallow you whole, “I—”
You tried to voice out a tangible reason, but you had realized that all of it was your own doing. Your insecurity, your self-consciousness, the thought that you were never good enough for the thing you once wanted so bad; all of it led to a life unlived, and to have someone finally putting you in your place was embarrassing, if not painful, “—wasn’t sure if I really wanted it and—”
“—wasn’t sure if I was good enough to pass the test.”
“So, after college, you never ended up applying there? Not even a try?”
You shook your head embarrassed, looking down at your shoes.
Jean sighed and laid his food on the dashboard, before reaching for your right hand and held it warmly into his grasp. He called your name which propelled you to look back at him, “Weren’t you the one who talked me into getting into law school? Even when I thought it was impossible? Weren’t you the one who wrote on my yearbook to-my-future-attorney when everyone was convinced that I’d end up working a mediocre office job? Or a mechanic in my Dad’s shop?”
Jean carried on, “I just… I just don’t understand. How could you have so much conviction for other people but—but yourself?”
You passed a grim smile, as vulnerability started to catch up with you, “Nevermind Jean, it’s passed. I am where I am now.”
“But, wasn’t it your dream?” Jean grew antsy on his seat, it was obvious that he truly didn’t understand, “The pages and pages and pages of diary you wrote about wanting to work there? What happened?”
You sighed, running out of words to say, until you caved in, “Maybe I never knew what I truly wanted.”
“Is that why?” Jean shot another look at you, there was an intensity in his eyes that you had never seen before. There you wondered what had happened to Jean’s life in all those years passed at your absence, had he led a difficult life before getting the success he was enjoying now? “Is that why you left me—because you didn’t know what you truly want?”
Jean understood the consequence of his action, he was a well-accomplished attorney after all. He also understood the vivid pain painted all over your face, but he was taking his shot. Years of wondering where had you gone, what kind of live had you lived – you never ceased to haunt him, all the what-ifs with you he always thought about whenever he broke off yet another meaningless relationship with yet another woman he’d never cared for in his life. Over the years, he’d taken a close look at you. He’d find you on the internet, he’d asked about you to friends of a friend that was still in touch with you, he’d ‘accidentally’ found your legal documents just to see that you had gotten your college degree one year earlier than him. He didn’t know why the thought of you lingered, you just did. Arriving into his dreams where he was seventeen again and unassuming, only for him to wake up disappointed at seeing a woman that wasn’t you in his bed.
For the longest time, Jean had fended for himself to be where he’s now. When survival had finally bore fruits, what else could there be for him? Still, he felt lonely in the embrace of another woman, still he felt the void persisted even if he spent his money on things he didn’t need. Jean never thought, that after years of dreaming to be the person he’s now, all he yearned for was to have a piece of simple, ordinary and innocent happiness he once had with you.
You were, after all, the only thing that could remind him of the innocence Jean had lost after years of grueling work as an attorney—seeing how corrupt and insidious men can be. So, when his wearied eyes landed on the sight of you this evening, in the alley of that long-forgotten Department Store, Jean had no choice but to finally face his haunting.
“Jean, it’s a long time ago,” you smile, cupping his hand with your free hand, “besides, I’m no longer your type, right?” A grin, a playful grin, painfully fabricated and Jean saw right through it.
You could feel the air had gotten thick in his car, and you shifted closer to the door. Jean let go of your hand as he moved closer to you, running his long fingers through your hair. His voice had gotten deep and you could sense a hint of pain in his words, “Maybe I never had a type.”
He dragged his gaze all over your face; your eyes, your nose, your lips – the way he used to reassure that you were so beautiful in his eyes despite the self-hate you inflicted upon yourself, “Maybe all I ever wanted was you and all I ever did with those girls was to try finding you in them,” he forced a smile, so stale, so painful, “to no avail.”
You could feel the air into your lung was compromised as you battled the tears, “Jean…”
“Out of so many things that I have been brave for, I was never brave enough for one thing that I needed the most: to tell you that it’s always been you,” Jean slithered his hands through your waist and pulled you into his embrace. He laid his head, heavy with loneliness and exhaustion on to the nook of your shoulder. For lack of better term, Jean was finally back home, as he muttered, letting go of all his inhibitions, “Baby, it’s always been you. It’s always been you.”
Your whole body was weak with emotions. The thoughts, the persistent ones – the what-ifs you could have had with Jean, the life you could have lived and the dream that could have been fulfilled. Without your permission, the tears fell to your dismay as you thought of one last thing remaining in your heart: Reiner. The way he smiled and listened all through your nightly despairs, caressing you close until you fell asleep, exhausted with tears dried up all over your face. The way Reiner whispered on to your ear, amidst your drowsiness, that he loved you and that he promised to make you whole, to fill the void you had always feared for. All the little things he had done without you asking, or the way he loved your family as if they were his own.
You cursed yourself for being surprised at how much you realized that you truly loved Reiner, even when you were in the embrace of someone you wondered about often. You realized, the best way to prove to someone that you love them was to stick around. And Reiner had stuck around, as much as you stuck around for him.
You left Jean long time ago for reasons you only vaguely remembered now, but life went on and sooner or later you should make it in your heart to accept it. You smiled and thought of your life. Sure, there was a lot of thing you need to patch up, but what is life if not persevering?
You pulled away from Jean, surprised to see a beaten look on his face. Far away from the dandy and sharp young attorney you would see on the news. Once, you loved this man, but years had passed and the one he wanted was no longer there. You were no longer the person you were thirteen years ago. You were no longer the girl Jean longed for, all he wished for was a passing ghost that you have left behind in your adolescence.
You caressed his cheek for the last time and landed a kiss to his forehead, “Jean, I’m so proud of you. How far you have gone. I’m sorry I wouldn’t be the one you’d share your future achievement with, but for all the things you have done to me, for seeing the good in me when I could hardly see it… I want to say thank you,” you smiled although pain was searing within your chest, “there’s a world out there where this would work out. But not this world.”
The unexpected rendezvous you had with the man whom you had given your first love to ended with both of you crying at each other’s embrace, until Salerno’s closed and turned off their lights.
When Jean finally dropped you at your childhood home, the place he used to spend all the times in, Jean smiled and pointed at your room with the lights still lit, “He’s waiting?”
“I think he’s asleep. He’s a deep sleeper, he forgets to turn off the lights every time.”
“Does he even fit in your tiny bed?”
“Well, you did fit.”
“For a time.”
“Yeah, for a time.”
“So, you’ll be Mrs. Braun?”
“Yep, Mrs. Braun I will be.”
Jean scoffed, pretending to be annoyed, but smiling nonetheless, “Lucky bastard, that Mr. Braun.”
#jean x reader#jean kirstein#jean kirschstein#aot jean#snk jean#aot fluff#snk fluff#aot fanfiction#attack on titan#shingeki no kyojin#kojins twisted match-up
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if new girl had quarantine:
in season 1: lets say its after cece and schimidt start sleeping together and jess doesn’t wanna be away from her bestie so she invites cece to stay with them (bc she thought it would have been like 1 month tops and also she is not yet THAT that close with the guys come on its been like less than one year of living together) but jess doesn’t know abt cece and schmidt so what happens is that they can’t stay from eachother and as everyone is home all the time jess finds out about them and idk the rest but a lot of true american (maybe nick and jess get so bored and horny that they kiss maybe not)
in season 2: so lets say its after The Kiss so they would 100% be sleeping in eachothers bed all the time and like the guys would be annoyed bc they are alone and yeah but a lot of true american (that’s always interrupted by jess and nick kissing and yeah).
in season 3: imma say just its after prince and yeah nick and jess are riding that whole “i love you” happiness ride so ITS AWFUL but like i just need jess to be like as we have an extra room (lets be real there is 0% chance that she and nick aren’t sleeping in the same bed all the time) and then she invites cece bc she can’t stay away from cece that long and then cece gets really bored and she starts sleeping with schmidt again but this time they do it right!! yeah winston is alone in both s1 and s3
in season 4: so lets start with that its after cece realizes she loves schmidt and also like nick and jess didn’t start dating anyone yet so yeah again jess doesn’t wanna be alone with the guys (especially her ex boyfriend) so she tells cece to stay with her (bc she doesn’t want to stay with the models in ceces apartment) so yeah cece and jess are together moping over loving schmidt and nick and yeah its sad. But like im 100% sure that nick and jess would probs kiss like they are alone and yeah it would 100% happen (maybe jess or nick would put the sex mug out and yeah) cece would get closer with schmidt (as friends) and maybe they would restart their romance sooner
in season 5: so it’s after the whole sex mug thing and yeah jess doesn’t go to jury duty so reagan does not exist. So schmidt and cece are together and happy yay! wiston is pining over ally and yeah. so A LOT of true american and the mug reappears suddenly and yeah they do it but they say it’s cause of quarantine and yeah they are bored so (they try to keep it a secret but with everyone home 24/7 is kinda really hard)
in season 6: jess is pining HARD and nick is like writing ALL THE TIME and yeah jess feel so twirly bc he seems so put together. this is before schmidt and cece could find a home so they are stuck in the loft. so reagan was stuck somewhere in the US and couldn’t go back so its long distance but like with jess right there nick seems to spend less and less time talking to reagan and more time with jess (bc like every other person in the loft is a couple so they are fifth and sixth wheeling so yeah) and they decide to break up. when he tells the gang over breakfast the next cece immediately tells jess that this is her chance to tell nick and that if he knew that door was open a long time ago reagan wouldn’t even exist but jess says no but one night they decide to play true american and yeah they get stuck under the iron curtain again bc someone (cece) makes that happen again so that they kiss and yeah flashbacks and nick says like “jess we’ve done it like a million times before like let’s just do it so we can continue with the game. it’s not like we still have feelings for each other right?” but jess doesn’t want to bc she has feelings for him but she doesn’t want to admit it to him but she doesn’t want to kiss him but shes so drunk that she screams at him “I DO HAVE FEELINGS FOR YOU THATS WHY I DONT WANNA KISS YOU STUPID” and goes to her room and nick just stays there shocked and the next morning jess wakes up and sees that nick slept on her door (bc he kept knocking all night but she didn’t wanna talk to him so he told him to give up and she heard his door slam so she thought he gave up) but then she wakes him up while opening the door and yeah nick tells her that if he knew of her feeling they would’ve been together like months ago and then they kiss and loft 4d is now officially a couple’s loft)
after season 6 and before the time jump: so yeah nick and jess are together finally yay!!! and yeah schmidt and cece don’t wanna be alone and wanna be with their friends so they move back into the loft but cece is preggo so they do true american but schmidt doesn’t wanna risk the baby getting her so they do a version where she can stay in her place most of the time (and cece gets really annoyed and fights him and plays but then she starts getting bigger and more preggo and she gives up). So yeah its really fun and fluffy in loft 4D
season 7: so yeah nick and jess are not yet engaged and everyone is living in their own place and so its basically nick wanting to propose to jess 24/7, zoom calls with everyone all the time, nick starts writing his new book and as this is an au the publisher loves it and wants to publish it. Ally has her baby during the pandemic and it’s the strangest and yeah no one visits them (but godmother jess stays an hour on the phone with the baby everyday) and yeah they are really freaked out to have a new born at this hard and stressful time but they make it work. In the schmidt household, schmidt and ruth are like cleaning freaked out all the time and cece gets pregnant again!! and nick proposes to jess one morning while shes making breakfast and it’s super random but it’s so them
after season 7: basically everyone is with their families and happy and yeah just really fluffy fluff
#nick and jess#new girl#cece and schmidt#jess x nick#jess and nick#jessica day#nick miller#winston schmidt#winston bishop#cece parekh#cece x schmidt#winston x aly#rewatching and this came to my mind#quarantine
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CHELSEA ELLE HODGSON —
IG info/Bio: @/chelseaaahodecor | 109k followers | hi babes! welcome to my life lovelies, please get comfy with this Prosecco im serving thru this screen! xx here’s my site if you need some light in ur life: ichelseahdgsondesigns.com 🏝💕
24 (25) years
From Buckinghamshire, England
Comes from a wealthy family
her father’s side of the family founded, “Hodgson investments” their company is built off of financial services
Her papo (grandfather) was arrested on tax invasion & served some time for doing so
Her father, Alistair now manages the company but under a different name
Her mother’s side of the family comes from old money...something about horses?
Her mother, Connie holds many events and seems to make $ from them but Chelsea isn’t quite sure what the woman does or if it’s fully legal
The family is all about protecting their image & if you don’t cut it, there will be repercussions
Feels a little like dynasty (I’ve only seen 2-3 episodes & never finished but get the point?) , maybe that’s why Chelsea & her sister enjoy watching it so much
Parents forsure held courtship events or either went to courtship events with their children (even Albie) & found suitors in hopes of marrying their daughters off (& finding Albie a new wife, only on Mrs. Hodgson’s part— mr. Hodgson seems nicer/easy-going)
Has older twin sibs: Albie-Crispin & Dolly-Georgiana
Often referred to as “the triplet” in the press
Well-known in their city
They’re all called by their first & middle name in their family household even tho their parents do not have middle names
Has a love/hate relationship with albie, he is selfish & has proven to do anything to drag others down to make himself look better
He’s a lawyer & has been married to his wife for about 7 years
Mrs. Hodgson, Dolly, & Chelsea all agree they do not like her but Chelsea puts on a smile whenever her sister-in-law is around while Mrs. Hodgson makes it known that she dislikes the woman, she thinks she’s beneath her son since her family does not make nearly enough $ put together between her & Mr. Hodgson
Dolly has a bf who’s a dental hygentist that she’s been dating for about 3 years but they’re both cheating on each other, she doesn’t think she’ll ever be married
She’s in office management
Chelsea fell in love with interior decorating from the moment she played with doll houses. Her grandparents made sure to send her the biggest doll houses they could find every Christmas. She’s always been in love with rearranging and picking certain items and best putting them into a space that works
She shit at drawing (she’ll leave that to the Architects) but she knows her furniture & patterns quite well
Has asked a few architects out on dates, some she worked with or stumbled across, only one seemed like it could have truly worked...I imagine him to look a bit like Henry Cavill with light facial hair (told you I’m a sucker for it, & Chelsea probably can tolerate just a bit not too much)
Yet Chelsea always has a wondering eye, she gets curious quite often which makes you wonder, is she really ready for love? To fully commit? One day she will be
It’s a competitive field and when she’s ready to battle she will but there are moments when she gets let down & has to pick herself up again
Has ADHD, goes to therapy for it & hates taking her meds. She’d rather stick to therapy sessions since it’s always nice to talk to someone
When she was younger she probably stole a friend or two’s bf & would definitely get mad if they did it back to her but they somehow still end up being friends in the end? Yikes
Hung out with the popular kids, was always at the parties making sure everyone was having a good time. Filling up the cups, directing where furniture should be moved, where the kegs should go, how many people should be there, etc...She doesn’t seem like the stuck up type like her mother but she is privileged & doesn’t realize it as much
Was a cheerleader & ran track, quit track to commit full-time to cheerleading since that kept her in shape enough
Dated here & there, had one bf where they would scream at each other and wouldn’t allow the other to leave or would be upset that the other didn’t come after them...yeah one of those couples
Broke up with her goth bf because he didn’t tell her he wasn’t coming to school for about a week; he had the stomach flu
Canon: Took a computer course in high school & in uni & found out she was at the top of her class for typing the fastest, she now loves the sound of her short pink ombré nails on the keys
Canon: Wanted to be a show jumper due to her mother’s side of the family & their history with horses
Goes to the stables every now & then, there’s one horse there that she’s absolutely in love with & loves to ride. Her father always offered to buy it for her but it’s not a animal she wants to own
Canon: loves finger foods + will get full off them at events quickly. She also doesn’t mind the tiny portions of food at expensive ass restaurants, it’s just enough for her
Takes hair supplements. Probably had long hair growing up that she always kept up in a bun or ponytail but decided to start chopping her hair off & getting layers & highlights which damaged her hair
Approves of plastic surgery
Is part of the itty bitty titty community & got a lift for them
Gets lip fillers for her bottom lip but isn’t a fan of needles + overlines her top lip
loves going to the dermatologist, the spa for facials & whatever else she’s willing to try & finding new skincare to buy
Tans & loves tropical hot summers
Buys an overload of bikinis even in the winter
Hates the rain, it messes with her mood
Loves a good lipstick & lipgloss combo, nudes & pinks are her to go to’s
Fav color is pink
Got herself a guinea pig after the show & named her “bubbly” after her baby in the villa
I feel like she would eventually get a tiny dog too
Has her own flat, that’s quite far from all of her family. She loves her dysfunctional problematic family but Chelsea likes her space from them too
Since buckinghamshire’s culture is more of a Middle Ages style, Chelsea made sure her home wouldn’t hold much of that style inside. It needed to be lively! Her family home was filled with dark wood & she can’t stand that
She loves going to the markets tho. She always seems to leave with something & either finds herself not liking it months later and ends up selling whatever item caught her interest
Her family tends to pop in whenever they want, especially her mother
Canon: talks about cat cafe’s when she’s drunk, says its her version of the chocolate factory + she’s the dancing drunk
Always down for a girls night out, girls trip & girls sleepovers
Probably goes to bed early around 10pm or earlier m if she’s not out having the time of her life, which makes her regret her choices the next morning
All her closest friends back home are a group of girls
Hangs out with Priya, Marisol, & Hope from the villa whereas the rest she’ll mostly communicate with them through socials or gatherings
Will host gatherings & expect them ALL to show up
Is dramatic when things don’t go her way
Loses focus more than gets bored in relationships? She’ll find other things or people to occupy her time which she doesn’t realize can be hurtful to others
When she does realize she hurts someone, she immediately wants to fix it
Canon: Is a blabbermouth. Cannot hold a secret for shit, also cannot tell a lie. Her body language gives it away first if she doesn’t spill it
Retail therapy is the best therapy if she doesn’t have a office appointment
Any spice girl song will be her karaoke song, she is always baby spice
Loves her Prosecco (me too sis!) & keeps plenty bottles in her wine fridge. She originally wanted a space with a wine cellar but got creeped out at the thought since it’s just her & bubbly living in the home
Has high cell phone bills, the girl loves a good chat
Cannot cook no matter how hard she tries. She’s been to cooking classes with an ex, watched videos, order from those food delivery sites to prepare food & it just never turns out well
Will spend hours in furniture stores, she’s had to be escorted out pass closing hours by security guards before & manage to make friends out of them. They all know who she is in majority of the stores she enters
Throws a party every time her following goes up. There’s never not a reason to throw one
Was upset that Carl unfollowed her once and figured Hannah made him do it. Which wasn’t true, Hannah was sure of herself now & doesn’t feel the need to be jealous, the man could follow whoever he wanted—she knew he barely stayed on IG in the first place. He thought it was too shallow
So when Chelsea called him one night sobbing he was utterly confused, he didn’t understand why a follow meant so much
He reluctantly followed her back
Thrilled to know Elijah, Lucas, & Carl all keep up with her. Oh & the rest of the boys ofc!
Chats with Jakub! They also hang out. They’re a bit of a odd pairing but they get along well, he’s basically another big brother to her but she actually likes him—
Afraid of the dark, keeps fairy lights lit throughout the night in her bedroom, keeps scent infused night lights in her hallways
Believes in feng shui
I feel like her voice is soft like jennifer Tilly’s?
Idk what her sun sign is? Is she a sag far as daydreaming cause she does that. I KNOW she has Leo in her chart, she’s dramatic, warm, likes to be admired & appreciated. Sun sign I need help? Maybe she’s a Sagittarius sun? + Leo moon + libra rising
Has a collection of celeb gossip magazines that she keeps on a stand next to her pink velvet chair beside her bow window
I think she will be the first islander that gets pregnant tbh & it’s by an architect (the guy I mentioned/envisioned that’s been waiting on her to realize he can give her the love she needs or prove he can balance her out) or firefighter or someone “manly” she wouldn’t end up with a islander I don’t think
she has a girl & names her, “adore”
Canon: Still wants 5 kids but we’ll see how that goes & if it’ll change, it’s been a bit difficult not drinking Prosecco but she’s got a lovely baby out of it
Crushes? Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Alfred Enoch, Alex Pettyfer, Joe Cole, Gregg Sulkin, Frank Dillane, Charlie Rowe, & Hero Fiennes Tiffin
Can listen to anything that’s got a good beat. But we all know she’s a pop & folk genre lover. She listens to: Astrid S, Maty Noyes, Cher Lloyd, Bebe Rexha, Allie X, Poppy, POST MALONE, etc.
Anthem? Gabrielle Aplin — Until the sun comes up
#litg#litg2#litg s2#litg Chelsea#litg carl#litg headcanon#litg headcanons#litg au#50/50 like Chelsea lol#she’s sweet but there’s things that she’s done that makes me side eye her#wouldn’t keep her around my man if she’s single tbh lmao#litg3#litg s3
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It’s been awhile since I truly ranted about my clueless boomer father. it’s absolutely not because he’s been less awful. in fact he’s been so overly awful that I’ve not had the energy to really type out an entire vent post.
Let’s rectify that! (Disclaimer: this shit is LONG)
So those of you who aren’t new round these parts are well versed in how clueless and selfish my “I’m not like other boomers” (def is) father. You might also know how introverted I am.
Now that word gets tossed around a lot by people who just enjoy their own company or enjoy socializing but need time to recharge, and that’s all well and good. But my personal introversion is much more... serious. Like, I can socialize but it’s draining pretty quickly, save a few people who don’t suck the life out of me because they arent work to hang out with and dont require me to entertain them. I need more recharge time than socializing time by a significant margin. Last summer my father went on vacation for a week (Bailey stayed with grandma) and during that week I didn’t verbally speak to a single fucking soul except when The Spawn (who didn’t live here at the time) came by for something. Best week of my fucking life.
The less I’m able to recharge, the more unpleasant I become. This is important.
So we all know that my father likes to claim a lot of things are that clearly bullshit. Among those things is the claim that he doesn’t need friends or socialization because he’s “like me” and the claim that he respects my space and need for down time. these things aren’t true. at all. Let’s look at why I saw that...
This man insists on telling me every small annoyance that happens through his day. Every single fucking day I have to hear (and read texts) repeatedly about how ignorant his coworkers are, the amount of unmasked people at stores/gas stations, & just generally self absorbed people he encounters. EVERY DAY. He clearly needs someone to socialize with.
He will also just walk into my living room and plop down. Then he starts fucking talking or bitching at the dogs for jumping around on him. If I am watching something, he starts asking questions/commenting on whatever I’m watching. If I’m wearing headphones (which are massive and cover my ENTIRE EAR very obviously) he will stare at me and start talking until I pull my headphones off and say “What?! What is so fucking urgent?!”
I’ve been getting progressively more short with him. I don’t answer texts that aren’t actually about something. When he interrupts me for something I KNOW will be frivolous bullshit, I exaggeratedly huff, then either rip off my headphones or pointedly pause what I’m watching and say “WHAT?! What do you need?!” If he’s bitching about the dogs playing on the couch while he tries to sit on it (which they do to me CONSTANTLY btw and I just make it work) I snap at him to just move to the fucking chair or shut up. If he goes to bitch about a coworker or people he encounters while out, I just say, “You already told me about this.” in and incredibly short tone, to which he responds “Well I wanted to make sure.” in a huffy tone.
His most recent two days have really taken the fucking cake.
So The Spawn frequently goes up to see her godfather, D, in Colorado over school breaks. He usually puts her on a plane or comes to get her, but with her having a car, she’s decided to take a friend with her and have her first Big Girl road Trip. She will be gone a little overr a week and she, the friend, D, and I all meticulously planned it out. My father comes in day before yesterday and says, “Hey do you want me to take vacation time while The Spawn is gone so I can be here?” I look deeply confused, “Why the fuck would you do that?” his response: “Well, I didn’t know if you’d need someone here to help with the dogs during the day while she’s gone.”
Y’all I nearly died laughing. “Her not being here changes literally NOTHING about how the dogs are handled during the day. When she is here, she is in her room. It’s really funny that you think I have help during the day considering how often I’ve bitched about the fact that I take care of the dogs that aren’t mine far too much.”
Then yesterday, I had spent the day employing my general tactics to discourage him from harassing me with useless bullshit. At some point, I cut him off from talking AGAIN about “ignorant, maskless, redneck gatherings at the gas station” by saying, “YES YOU TOLD ME AT LEAST 3 FUCKING TIMES. I GET IT. PEOPLE DON’T WEAR MASKS AND IT PISSES YOU OFF. IT’S BEEN A FUCKING YEAR. DEAL WITH IT. Why in the fuck do you insist on telling me this crap?” This fucking idiot laughed and said “I need to vent to someone.” I then told him to get a fucking friend or get a fucking therapist but I am not here for him to fucking vent to.
At the end of last night I finally lost it. I blew up on him about how I have zero privacy, nobody fucking respects my space or my need to recharge my social batteries, so I’m just constantly running on empty which means I’m getting progressively more unpleasant and frankly downright mean. Near the end I said “I’m sorry but...” and intended to tell him EXACTLY what he is doing that is causing this shit but true to fucking form, this motherfucker INTERRUPTS ME and says “Oh I never take any of this personally. no apology needed. goodnight.” and goes up to bed.
YOU SHOULD TAKE IT PERSONALLY YOU STUPID PIECE OF SELF ABSORBED SHIT!!!! YOU ARE THE FUCKING PROBLEM!!! MY NEARLY 17 YEAR OLD CHILD HAS MORE AWARENESS OF MY NEED TO RECHARGE AND NOT BE AROUND PEOPLE CONSTANTLY THAN YOU DO DESPITE ME TELLING YOU ABOUT MY NEEDS IN VERY PLAIN LANGUAGE THAT A FUCKING 5 YEAR OLD COULD UNDERSTAND!!!
LEAVE. ME. THE. FUCK. ALONE. unless the subject of what you want to talk about impacts me directly in some way or i INVITE YOU into a conversation. I don’t vent to him unless it impacts him or the household... so why the fuck can’t he show the same courtesy? Also that whole “respect your space and not invade it” thing... on the rare occasion that he doesn’t just invite himself in and plop down in my space expecting my fucking attention, he will HOVER in the ‘doorway’ to my rooms until I acknowledge his presence, at which point he takes as an invitation. I’ve done an experiment. If I ignore the hovering, he will stand there up to 30 mins, at which point he will ask me a question and when I answer he takes it as an invitation. Like, I know my living room and BEDROOM don’t have doors but that doesn’t mean you have an open invite to just come into them whenever. You want to pet your dog but she’s on my bed? Call her. She’ll come over to you. Want to watch something with me? ASK and then, if I say yes, don’t fucking talk to me. I agreed to watch something, not have a fucking conversation.
oh but directly telling him any of this doesn’t work because he “doesn’t take any of this personally.” Ok, it’s one thing to not take it personally when I snap at you because I’m in an astronomical amount of pain that day and accidentally snapped. When that happens, I apologize and explain. but if I don’t mention my pain, apologize, or explain then YOU ARE THE REASON IM SNAPPING YOU STUPID FUCK.
end rant. if you read this whole thing, my condolences on the wasted time. I don’t want/need advice. I’m handling the situation the best I can in my current position. Part of that handling is that while The Spawn is gone, I’m going to do a few days where I’m here for the dogs, then when dad gets off work, J scoops me for the night, then drops me back off in the morning on his way in. He is one of those lovely people that isn’t a drain and if we are sitting in the same room, considers it spending time together. Most times, I lay on his furniture at an awkward looking but comfy angle reading a book while he games. We chat a bit during breaks or when I see him ready to throw the controller at the TV (looking at you Witcher 3...) so that will be lovely.
as always, don’t steal my shit for your blog, article, youtube, just because you’re boring and fucking lazy. Shoo! Scat!
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my moms been living with us for 4 months now. her stay was initially tolerable but is now triggering and I find myself regressing in a lot of ways. Her grief has evolved into torment and per her m.o. she'd like for her issues to take first priority. Except, my sis and I are grown now, and as a therapised household (literally we've all been in counseling, babies included) though we still lean on each other for support, we ultimately don't function codependently.
And beeecause that's not how we grew up, I think my mother is now having to contend with the reality that she has to do the emotional work of surviving her many traumas (and currently her many dramas) on her own. We support her but we can't fix it for her.
Currently, it's a crisis a day and she's spiraling into mini catastrophic states everytime. Which was sufferable at first because despite my labored support, I still maintained my boundaries and didn't adopt her distress as my own. The problem now is the increasing frequency with which these crying spells are taking place. Not to mention the fact that she's been doing so in front of the kids; something that would normally be acceptable because my sis and I make space for feelings (even our own) in our home. The difference being, we do so responsibly. We listen, we talk, give affection and/or space but always with the fundamental knowledge that our emotions belong to us individually and only we can be accountable for them. A gentle reminder that though part of a unit, they still have agency and accountability.
This interdependency makes way for a more compassionate exchange. Whenever they see us cry or be vunerable, the kids have the wherewithal to approach us without attaching themselves to our emotional circumstance. It's an empathy that perceives our emotional reactions as relatable but still not their responsibility. I've seen our work proven time and time again.
One example is when my sister's [redacted] died and the boys spotted her crying on the couch. Without being prompted, they approached her independently, commiserated, hugged and kissed her and shortly after went back to playing on their electronics. It was such a graceful display of emotional validation that demonstrated their love for her without sacrificing their own desires in doing so. Truly remarkable, that at ages 5-8 they maintained boundaries while still being there for their mom.
They're also there for one another but it's seldom a sinking ship. And when emotional support is rejected they respect that as well, without taking it personally [tbh that has more to do with concepts of mandatory consent that we impart on them, but as is evident, it applies. #intersectionality] It's an ongoing practice that I'm proud to be a part of, considering the kids have codependent figureheads in both their maternal and paternal families. WE'RE TRYING TO BREAK CYCLES HERE.
Yes, our home is a safe space for emotional processing but always leveraged with the emotional balance of self reliance, awareness and resiliency. The kids have proven to have the capacity for this and through teaching them, so do we.
It's human to have outbursts, but my mother's pattern is proving to be less intrinsic and more deliberate. She needs an audience in order to experience catharsis. A potentially reasonable behavior except for it's her only one. So it's imbalanced and seeks refuge in the reliance of our total empathy.
Furthermore she's disingenuous in her emotional performances. When approached out of concern, she responds with the proverbial, "I'm ok." Like, its subtle but super manipulative to say that, when we can CLEARLY see she's not. The kids see and hear her, the least she could do is not gaslight them. And I'm not saying her tactics are successful but it exposes the bby's to unnecessary dysfunction and covertly teaches them to assume the responsibility of communicating her emotion for her. She's also non verbal and unpredictable and tho not at her best rn [like, literally who is? this year has wrecked us all] she and we deserve proper communication.
The mind games are soul sucking and triggering for me in a way that is not for my sister. Though we share a mother, the repective versions of her that we experienced as children differ greatly.
My sister's the eldest and spent the first couple years of her life as the only child to a very young mother living alone in America after being displaced by the civil unrest in her native El Salvador. By age 3, with the addition of a new baby sister (my moms 2nd) she was sent to a country fully at war. My sisters would spend the next half decade of their lives in sunny wartorn tropics, watched over and raised by our family of four women. A blissful antithesis to their future with our mom. Upon the return to their forgotten country of origin (USA) and severed from the only family and community they've ever known, the girls were whisked away by a mother they barely remembered and a baby brother they had never met... marking the beginning of my mom's descent into single motherhood.
My mom resented having a brood of kids, namely her 2nd and 3rd, who's father was abusive and absent. Don't know much of the facts outside of what she would ritualistically berate my siblings about during her brutal tantrums -as if it were their fault they simply existed. The second born, my other sister, left home at 12 and has been estranged ever since and the third, my brother, has recently severed bonds abruptly claiming a new life with a woman he's known barely a year yet now calls wife. Proving that despite being raised by the same woman we all had different mothers.
Since my siblings endured a childhood with a volatile, violent woman who managed her emotions thru physical abuse... when she wasn't, she was neglectful of them, turning her attention onto me... the youngest (four years removed from the rest of the pack). I bore witness to said abuse until I was 5, when it was litigiously exposed, forcing her to abandon corporal punishment and rely solely on mental/emotional abuse. That's the version of my mom I got.
I was 10 when my sister left for college. Just my brother and I remained. Similarly to each other we both lived in service to our mother. Whereas his duties were more physically laborious, mine consisted of full on emotional labor. I spent most of my childhood navigating a homelife that was so saturated and occupied by my mother's opera of a life, that there was no room for my feelings, thoughts, desires or identity. I was her plaything, a person sans agency. My age and vulnerability proved advantagous when grooming me. I learned to behave in ways satisfactory to her needs. I was made to react to (and collect) her emotional distress, endorse her judgements of others, perform well in school as a testament to her rearing, and accept her violations of me as normal. I was a shackled spectator, whose own emotions were mere reflections of her dramatizations. I was tailored to be the MOST convenient. So I kept secrets and coped alone. I knew just enough abt myself to remain human but lacked the vision to actualize it. And because emotional abuse is so insidious in its indoctrination, I was really none the wiser until I too moved away years later.
I'm almost 30 now and I'm a mess. I can't establish enduring relationships, I'm fat, I'm broke, I'm debilitatingly avoidant, socially inept, codependent, confused and lack significant self worth. I spent the past decade delving deep into undoing all the work done to me to keep me a reliable supply for my mother and coming to terms with all the time lost in doing so. I've had glimpses and proof of another life but this year sent me back to old coping mechanisms and devastatingly familiar relationships. I read that by its very nature, all pandemics have to end and I thought I was strong enough to share a definite time&space with my abuser for the foreseeable future.... but with no end in sight, I kind of really wish I had established a clearer version of myself and where I stand in this family, to her.
Similar predicaments flung us both to the south and having her here is like a screen forging images of the same dysfunction I exhibited upon my arrival 7 years ago. There's so much I wish I could tell my former self, namely, "it's not your fault. you're not alone. you don't have to try so hard and tomorrow is another day" And perhapz it's this layered vision of myself as seen thru her that compels me to want to save her, but doing so requires me to get too close to a flame I've yet to extinguish. Im not foundationally sound enough to go up in flames and rebuild afterwards, I need a few more rounds of therapy for all that. I'm a stitch away from coming apart at the seams. Weak construction, but I'm still standing. I have more life to live and can't risk the breeze of my mother's chaotic whims to topple what's taken years to forge. I love her, because she's the only mom I got and because she's the kids' only access to our motherland. How can I reconcile this version of me with this version of her?
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