i wanna draw but the thing is: i Think too much when i draw and so the horrors flood in

Y'all I'm with Crowley on this one today, it never ceases to amaze me how fucking horrible human beings can be.

Talk about a fucking mood today.

kyman headcanons part 2 !!!! SFW (cartman oriented!!!)

since yall liked my kyman headcanons so much i thought id give it another try and write down sum more ! :D

part 1: here

cartman would plan little fucking schemes to see if kyle really loves him (text him from a fake instagram profile, pay a girl to make a move on him, shit like that)

motherfucker craves attention so much, so he like pretends he's sick or dying or that something really serious happened to see if kyle comes running to him

kyle quickly realizes this is not a one time thing and is really annoyed w him but manages to come running everytime cartman pulls something like this, eric always treats him with a big smile when hes at the doorstep ("you came! :D " "ofc i came you said ur fucking mom was dying?! where is she?" "oh she just went shopping" "so you made it up?! you know how fucked up that is?!" "technically, my mom IS dying, we are ALL dying every second of every day ever since we were born, kHAL...")

cartman uses like an unhealthy ammount of emojis in every message, sends shit ton of tiktoks, reels, youtube shorts and has a completely different types of conversations w kyle on every social media platform all at once (like on instagram he's venting to him about how he doesnt feel appreciated enough by the world while hes sending him memes on discord and streaming himself playing fall guys or smth i dont fucking know)

kyle's style of texting is very simple, he doesnt like long messages, he doesnt really send memes or tiktoks or anything but he religiously watches everything eric sends him, responds to him asap and writes medium sized messages with emojis because cartman is super fucking clingy and goes on a rampage if kyle doesnt respond for more than 3 hours or if his response isn't "enthusiastic" enough (*eric sends a meme of cats with a "this is so us" comment* kyle: <3 eric: do you hate me? kyle: no wtf i dont??? why? eric: idk just seems like you hate me)

cartman hangs out w kyle's mom and makes kyle's mom unknowingly share embarrassing details of kyle's life just to tease him w the information later, they also look through baby pictures together

eric and kyle's mom love gossiping together and they watch say yes to dress together and critique the dresses ("the mermaid style dress with HER LEGS!? i thought she'd wanna show them off!" "yes, such a shame, wasted potential")

sometimes cartman just goes to kyle's house solely to hang out with his mom ("oh hey cartman, i wont be able to hang out today, i need to-" "no worries, I'm here to watch tlc w your mom")

cartman's love language is words of affirmation, obviously, and he makes kyle say everything he loves about him at least twice a week as a "communication exercise, so that their relationship stays good and they both feel appreciated" (its honestly just a way for eric to get praised, he loveeees that shit)

he knows kyle's love lang is acts of service (hes known him for years, kyle didnt even need to tell him) so while he's at his house he'll wash the dishes and fold his clothes but he won't admit to it, he actually hides it and feels embarrassed, kyle just knows ("hey, did you clean my room while i was downstairs?" "no?" "look, its clear you did, just say so" "i don't fucking know what you're talking about, khal" "...thank you, eric" "...shut the fuck up, jew, as if I'd touch your dirty ass room")

cartman's actually very shy with showing affection when its just two of them and when kyle says something sweet unprovoked, cartman usually blushes and shuts him down, turns it into a joke or straight up ridicules kyle ("you're actually very pretty, cartman" "yeah, you're pretty too... pretty gay, HAHA")

kyle's shy with showing affection in front of others and cartman fucking takes that and runs with it sometimes, doing everything to make kyle uncomfortable, he's being all lovey dovey infront of kenny and stan to see kyle cringe internally and awkwardly smiling on the outside to 'not seem like a bad boyfriend' (cuz when he once couldn't take it and told cartman to shut the fuck up, cartman got fake sad and stan came to kyle afterwards and gave a speech about "sometimes having to put up with stuff you don't like to make your girl, uhm sorry, to make your... significant other happy")

hello queen, I have a pathetic question about dating: how to not feel jealous at those who seem like they’ve found “the one” already? Ik all that stuff about everyone being on their own journey and stuff, but it does hurt sometimes. I’ve never even dated so seeing everyone find their one is heartbreaking sometimes. Ik there’s the bad parts of dating such as my friend saying her guy is the one and love of her life (they recently bought a house together) but also that he plays video games often and she feels bored and lonely at times. Sometimes tho I just want that relationship for the dumb sake of saying I have a boyfriend, or that attention. How the hell do you get over it and be content with yourself? It genuinely feels like no one is single around me /: maybe I’d feel differently if I had some single friends to relate to? Idk I just feel jealous all the time, and it isn’t good for me or my future. I should be focusing on creating the best version of myself but this insecurity is holding me back. It feels like a what do these girls have that I don’t? My friend told me a lot of ppl just settle and that’s why they’re in relationships but it didn’t make me feel better. I just want to find my “one” perfect ambition, hard working guy already. Sorry for venting, I love your account and advice.

Listen, social media is a dating reality show edited to make you feel like a loser. All you get are the bouquets and champagne dates, never the screaming match about dirty dishes. But lemme tell you, relationships are WORK. Even those picture-perfect couples have their "Why did I do this?" moments and silent car rides filled with unspoken resentment. That's just reality, even if it doesn't fit on an Instagram caption.

Being single can be tough, but let's not pretend relationships are a magic fix. It's about trading one set of problems for another, usually spicier ones. Don't get me wrong, the right person is worth it, but life isn't a fairytale. Notice how those couples with the constant PDA often go silent when things get messy?

Here's where self-discovery comes in. Sometimes those relationship cravings are masking something else – a need for excitement, validation, whatever. Figuring that out is way more productive than doom-scrolling relationship goals.

You think having a partner is this automatic happiness upgrade, but I've been on the other side, in a relationship feeling lonelier than ever. Trust me, it's a mind-blowing kind of awful, followed by a new level of depression. That's the thing nobody talks about.

So, I rock my single status because guess what? I've got standards. Settling for mediocrity just to avoid being alone? Nope. I'd rather invest my energy elsewhere. Because contrary to all that rom-com nonsense, you can't outsource your happiness to another person. You gotta build that for yourself.

A healthy relationship is two happy people adding to each other's lives, not draining each other dry with emotional baggage. That's why I'm perfectly content rolling solo until the right one comes along. Do you want dependence and drama? There are plenty of trashy reality shows for that.

Yeah, it's different from the usual "find your soulmate" BS, but it's REAL. You want fulfillment? Build that life for yourself first. The rest either falls into place, or you realize you're happier without another person's dirty socks in the mix.

Going on hiatus…need to take some much needed time off from here and just social media in general.

Not feeling like yourself is so scary? and I just need my brain and heart to regroup and just… start caring for myself again. I just feel so heart broken lately for no apparent reason, idk if it’s bc of being burnt out from finishing school or something? I seriously don’t know tbh, as that’s why I’m taking time off.

Didn’t feel like deactivating/deleting my account bc I feel like it’s my baby, I always had this secret life in here that I fucking love venting about shows and shipping dummies (affectionately) just as much other people.

Anyways. I’ll see y’all later, hopefully!

Logging out…

Twitter lied about tumblr being good when it comes to astrology !!!

Maybe it's because I'm on a high level so the average user won't see things from my lenses. I honestly see a lot of things that I don't even feel comfortable talking about because I don't want to be rude. Things like stealing other people's posts without giving the other person credit or at least show who they got the post from.

Secondly there is a cult like following here on tumblr. Even the daily bloggers (when I say bloggers I mean posters), are in a cult like following. No it isn't a Charles Manson kinda cult. It's people forming a coalition to segregate others who are really good at astrology from getting recognition. It's similar to like what katt Williams was talking about with Kevin Hart and stuff.

For example this cult like following only likes for people to be caught or stuck in a drift when it comes to astrology. They don't like for others to know the truth about astrology. Instead they rather appease people to their level of knowledge when it comes to astrology. This means if someone else comes along they'll try to push that individual away.

One of the ways they do this is by stealing content or ideas so they get the views and not the original creator 😀. Every app does this regarding astrology but it's like organized crime here on Tumblr.

You see this a lot in those observation posts. Man they don't be observing nothing. They just say something crazy or delusional for engagement. A random example is Mars in Aries makes someone lazy. It sounds crazy right? Now if you question that they aren't open for a dialogue or a true blog of discussion, WHICH TUMBLR IS ACTUALLY INTENDED FOR

Another way they do it is by taking what somebody else has said. Then make their own Tumblr post regarding it. Yet you wouldn't find the original content creator because the ones with big followings on here actually do it so they push away the new astrology bloggers.

By doing this it deceives people into thinking only they are good at astrology or their interpretation is correct. Now the people who only observe content would only support and give them money no joke. I see this like crazy I even try to support and be kind. Then when I see what happens to me I get angry and you can see I lash out or vent on social media. When in actuality I'm a really nice guy I even giveaway free astrology information. I did it for years on Reddit nowadays I do so on twitter.

It's like a gang or something idk hopefully others can catch on to this. I used to wonder why people would put copyright in their posts or say things like do not steal. I could go on forever but I don't want to expose anybody. It's just weird seeing how I say something then a few days later someone has the exact same thing that I said. Yet their explanation has no context or makes any sense.

Once I came on Tumblr now bloggers could suddenly use sidereal and tropical simultaneously 😂😂. Man I can't make this crap up

I wanted to vent here, but I can also understand if you may not want this in your inbox, so if you choose to ignore and delete, I will respect that. Your personal space and mental capacity is more important than anything else.

But I have a contribution to the series we like to call "Twitter is the cesspool of the miserable" (no seriously someone should coin something like that because as much fun as I have over there, they can be trash sometimes). Here's what happened.

For context, news had dropped that the Ironheart series is being delayed till about 2025, which is a little disappointing. This news comes after Two other black shows (Swagger and Riches, I was going to watch those eventually, I promise) were canceled. Around that time, I was reminded that a preteen show produced by Marsai Martin named Saturdays was canceled months ago. And also that we have several black-led projects that are stuck in developmental hell and if they're released, they're barely promoted.....unless they are backed by Oprah apparently because she promotes her stuff. Coupled that with every white person on FB still saying months after TLM's release that black people need their own original characters.

Compiling all of that into my annoyance, I tweeted in response to the Riri thing: "Black people should get their own original characters" The treatment of said original character: [quoted is the tweet about the the delay]. People who follow me and know that I've been trying to advocate for supporting black original characters, especially in the sci-fi/fantasy genres knew what I meant, what I was talking about, and why I was frustrated.

Somehow Members of Team Recast T'Challa found my post and were saying: "yet you were cheering Marvel on for killing off an original character". Mind you, I was already being gaslit by the "this isn't racism" crew, and then that happened. That was completely off topic and not the point of my original post. I had already asked them to stay on topic, but they still wanna argue that darn recast. So now (after I muted the post) people are arguing about whether or not T'Challa should've been recasted.

Months ago, I heard a black person say that black people have issues staying on topic, which is why we have a hard time progressing, THIS is what they meant.

So that just added to the dejection I was already feeling about us being canceled and stuck in developmental hell.

It really be our own people.

I’m sorry they’re doing all that. Unfortunately Twitter isn’t a place for nuanced conversations, it’s just a bunch of people yelling over each other.

Those two things don’t even make sense together, but alas, literacy is low.

I will say though, idk if I agree with the statement about Black folks not being able to focus hindering our progress. It’s not that it’s wrong, I just feel like even though it applies to everybody, we get unfairly labeled (a lot of times by our own people) because we’re an easy target. Meanwhile all of America is regressing thanks to a horrible education system not teaching critical thinking or basic reading comprehension AND social media making things move unnaturally quick. Idk, it just feels like even Black folks love blaming societal issues on Black folks sometimes.

it's such a deeply sad feeling to realize that all your friends who you haven't seen in forever are all very socially active with one another (unbeknownst to you, because they have not invited you to any of their hangouts) and you were for some reason under the impression that everyone was as lonely as you because whenever you say "sorry ive been kind of isolating myself i think" and they all say "omg same here" like shit really cause it doesn't look like it (not that I presume to know other people's mental state or circumstances or whatever and Im not accusing them of like writing off my own issues but saying you have no social life is kind of weird when 1. I can see your social media and it kind of looks like you spend a lot of time with other people and 2. the person you're telling this to literally only goes to work and comes home and doesn't have conversations with anyone at all because, idk, I think that part of my brain is permanently broken. I have nothing in common with any of my coworkers at one job and at the other job I'm a contractor so I don't work in the office so I don't have any kind of social life there either. like it's not a competition but if it were I would win. sorry this is just a highly emotional vent and I know this all makes me sound like a brat)

this is all to say I know it's my own fault I'm lonely but I'm apparently so far removed from everyone that I don't even know where my chance to jump back in even is now because the train is already moving and everyone else is on board already and they've all been on board for a while and even when people do offer to like, reach out and let me on board, I panic cause like I'm not sure the "right" way to jump onto a moving train, it feels so scary. there's apparently SO MUCH social interaction that you're missing out on that it's overwhelming. idk if this metaphor makes sense. I dunno why I posted this LOL

I hope it’s ok to vent or ask for advice or just be kind of stressed right now but this might be so stupid idk can I be saved with tattoos? I’ve always been really artistic and before I knew Christ I just had a lot of friends who had them and it was just kind of the norm for me for a while so I got some again, mostly because I like designing etc and I have a church that couldn’t care less to be honest but every so often I go onto social media or come into constant with a Christian / Catholic or someone who says it’s disgusting or horrible like I don’t have random times where I HATE myself for it or whatever and ever time I remind myself and know belivers who have them I hear someone speak like this or say it’s a terrible sin etc etc and my heart drops and I want to cry and hide and I feel less than any other person in the church :(

If you want to become a Christian by having a valid baptism, you can have tattoos. Jesus never turned anyone away from sitting at His table. There is also nothing across any denomination that says if you want a valid Baptism you can’t have tattoos. Those people online that are coming at you claiming to be Christians themselves are not truly Christian at all. If someone wants to become a Christian, who are we to judge them, to shun them, and turn them away to the point where you cry and feel what you’re feeling now? Those people should be ashamed of themselves for what they’ve done by twisting the eternal word of our God to mock you. I want to apologize in their place for the way they treated you. It is through Baptism of living water that we are saved. You can be any color, male or female, race, ethnicity, age, disabled or non-disabled, rich or poor, job or no job, no matter what your past beliefs or current beliefs, no matter what clothing you wear or what ink you may have on your skin, etc. I think tattoos have a potential to be beautiful depending on what they are and why it was chosen. I wouldn’t turn you away. You have a place at His table if you want to be saved. I know this has been weighing heavily on your heart these past two days, so I want to be the one to extend my hand in peace to welcome you to knowing God.

— —- —— ——-

The tips I would obviously give and remind you of:

- remember that tattoos are permanent so be very sure on what that image will be. If you have any you regret, you can always cover them up with a new tattoo or laser it off but I hear laser is very painful. If money is an issue, there are other ways to cover up the unwanted tattoos by clothing and make up.

- if you feel a current tattoo may be sinful, bring it to our Lord in prayer. If you become Catholic in the future, you can bring it to Confession. All sins can be forgiven except blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. God isn’t going to turn you away or get mad at you, He loves you no matter what and is always by your side.

- absolutely avoid getting any tattoos with Satanic imagery, the occult, sins like lust and pornography, gore, cults, and other imagery like Nazi symbols, etc. you may also want to avoid getting tattoos in foreign languages unless you can absolutely be sure of what it says is correct.

- avoid tattoos of names of your current boyfriend or girlfriend or best friend. These people can come and go (unless you get married of course!).

- people forget that sometimes when you get surgery like my step father did, they actually had to do tiny tattoo dots on his skin.

- I’ve also seen a story of where these Christian women got tattoos in order to avoid being forcely convert them to Islam! Since they stood up for God and their faith, those tattoos literally saved their lives by the grace of God. You can read about that here:

- we also have evidence of Christian pilgrimages where you could get tattoos the old fashion way along the Holy Land and there is also a rich history! Like what BBC said:

Anddddd remember that I love you and God loves you.

Mannn I felt this… I wish more people understood how mentally draining being physically disabled can be 😭😭😭

Hi. How are you? I'd like to ask you something, an opinion so to speak. Feel free to not engage if I am being inconvenient. It's just you seem really really fond of Sergio. You mentioned you're married and you display a very mature approach towards all subjects. I'm 37 and can't talk much about him with my friends. They look at me like I'm the second season of The Last of Us yet to be shot😅 The thing is I like Pilar a lot. I see many differences between her and Sergio but this is healthy and, besides, I believe they coincide in the real important life values. Otherwise they would not be raising 4 happy children together. However, she seems completely disconnected from his family. It seems to be getting worse. I think he doesn't give 2 fucks, pardon my language, keeps going strong between the 2 of them, but it sure must be a source of tension. Do you have any thoughts on that, any understanding of what the reasons are? I remember Mirian being glued to Pilar, all of them going fishing on sales in Madrid. And since he decided to make their union official in the church the relations derailed. When they released the clip, there is Pilar coming down the aisle, Sergio was crying and Paqui was looking at her as if she were going to commit murder... Idk. I just needed to vent after Alex's bday. Idk if it is possible for you to answer privately. Don't want to bring drama to your page which is hyped, good humored and full of easter eggs - La Cibeles tattoo was a killer ♥️ I let out a little uhuuu and came here to check if you had already seen it 😅 Have a great week.

Hi 😊 I'm gonna try to answer this somewhat coherently, but i can't promise anything 😉

So first of all, i'm gonna say i'm in a somewhat similar situation with my mother-in-law or family-in-law for that matter. She's a perfecty nice woman, i just don't have anything in common with her, like our personalities and our outlook on life are so different, that honestly i don't think she really knows what to do with me or how to talk to me (and we've known each other for almost 20 years). It's just what happens sometimes and granted my husband isn't nearly as close to his family as Sergio is, but at some point you find a way that works for everyone and it's really not that much of an issue. It's a bit sad maybe, but some families just aren't that close.

As for Pilar's relationship with Sergio's family. I agree, it doesn't seem to be all that close, but i don't think there's any bad blood between them either. They do spend most holidays together, they went to Paris for New Year's and so on.

i actually think there are two reasons why it might seem lately that they don't get along anymore.

One, Pilar is generally very aware of how she presents herself on social media. Most of her posts are for her career and even the more candid ones are usually from photo shoots or are staged in a way to portrait her in a certain image. I'm mean it's what social media is for when you're basically an influencer. But if she's in Sevilla with Sergio (and his family) she probably doesn't want to get dressed up and put on a full face of make-up, so sometimes i feel like she deliberately steps out of the pictures and videos to keep her privacy (if that makes sense).

And they've never been a couple who did everything together. They've always been pretty independent with their own circle of friends and their own hobbies and i guess it wasn't that much of a problem when they were still in Madrid and Pilar had all her friends and family close (I remember Sergio saying once how envious he was of her that she still had all her old friends around), but now that they're living in Paris, with their jobs and the kids, they only have so much time left for their friends and families, so i guess it's easier sometimes to just spend their days off separately with their own circle of people.

And i totally agree on the values part. They definitely seem very similiar in how they want to live their lifes and how they want to raise their family and in my opinion that's way more important for a healthy relationship than sharing the same hobbies or tastes. You're gonna have to agree on the big things and at least from the outside it looks like they do.

Anyway, i hope this makes at least some sense 😊

I hope you have a great day too and thank you for enjoying my blog 😘

I keep seeing a bunch of live and let go, boundaries are personal and not moral stances posts about writing and i largely agree ppl should be able to explore what they want in fic but also. Is there a way to balance or talk about "hi um white author so you kinda reinvented racism/blood eugenics and unilaterally present sex work as inherently degrading and etc etc etc for Shipping Angst Drama fodder, when the text is like. None of that" in fandom or even just in like. A server community. Maybe I'm a bit sensitive bc i feel constructed/projected misery is kind of tacky to begin with and i wouldn't do it with a complete stranger but idk my guy. I don't want to alienate myself but it's weird to go completely uncritical here

i think there are a couple items you need to check off the list before you can go "yes talking to internet stranger #37461239 about a highly sensitive topic is a good idea"

is it tagged appropriately? if it's tagged trust me the writer knows. they have probably gotten way more unsolicited feedback than they would really like

is the portrayal you're concerned about reinforcing an unhealthy or discriminatory predominant social narrative? if it is and you think the writer is genuinely unaware, then yeah, it might be worth bringing up. the emphasis here is on predominant please i am begging on my hands and knees

will this result in a productive conversation? if the intent behind this is to get people to reconsider, it isn't helping anyone if you know it will just lead to them doubling down and doing it even worse. at that point you're only making a performative statement to validate your own stance

if it really is bothering you that much, is there a compelling reason why you can't just block and move on? it isn't your responsibility nor is it feasible to fix how a fandom is doing things, especially if it's a group of people you don't really know. your own mental health always comes first, and a bit of salty venting in private with your friends never hurts anyone

if it IS a friend or acquaintance who is doing this and you think they would be open to discussing it with nuance, then you can probably bring it up. if that person has a basic level of consideration and respect for you it tends to go well, but i've also seen people double down because they already know there's something wrong with their attitudes but get mad at you for wanting them to change, and then it creates a whole ton of drama and people get hurt and it's not pretty. so. ymmv

ultimately, someone's views on racism or sex work or whatever is reflective of a broader social norm, and fandom is not the best space to try to fix that through confrontation-- it's usually someone's "safe space" where they want to retreat from the world, not come face-to-face with any sort of personal reckonings. do i think it's a mark of privilege that some people have the luxury of ignoring these issues when they "just want to have fun"? yes, but again, this is about being able to have productive discussion, not about what's "fair". unfortunately.

my two cents: if you're in a server community or some other space that makes you uncomfortable there's really nothing wrong with going "hey, we have fundamentally different standards when it comes to [x], and i don't think i want to be here" and moving on. the best way to challenge these things is quite literally to make your own food. there's a much better chance of the people you're worried about coming across it and realizing they like it than magically being able to argue them down with well-placed logic and reasonable points or whatever

EDIT: OH ALSO IM STUPID if you mean talking about it in general. not naming writer names but trends in the fandom. yes absolutely-- not in a public space like social media but definitely find a group of people who you trust who you can talk about these things with!! it is good and healthy. just make sure it isn't just a discord server open to the public or smth tho so you personally know and trust everyone who can see it (and you don't accidentally shit talk someone who is in that space lmao)

Wasn't sure where to send this without it just being my closest friends, and I don't have any public social media so I'm going to put it here to just get it off my chest, feel free to delete this or not respond. But while following the whole Dream situation currently, the lengths some people have gone through to defend Dream and to weaponize traumatic experiences just to defend their favorite cc instead of accepting the most likely truth is so scary, and so so sickening. It's left me and some of my friends, all of us victims of grooming & CSA (including the dreaded r word), (albiet not Dream's victims, so I can't imagine how fucked up the victims themselves feel) shaking because of the whole precedent set of "believe all victims unless the abuser is someone we like/love and in that circumstance we'll pick apart everything and dissect your trauma infront of millions of people so we can call you a liar and an attention whore" ...

it's incredibly fucked up to see and while these people have chosen that stance of hyper-analysing solid proof for anything, even picking at the victim's reasonable emotional responses to such a situation, has left the "real victims of this genre of abuse" that they "defend" so violently terrified of speaking up, ever, even if it's not about Dream. I feel bad for the victims, if it was enough to make me and other victims who are removed from the situation scared and trembling, I can't imagine how bad it is for them. Not even mentioning how the legal justice system is so heavily skewered against SA victims that, even if it does go to court, the victims are more likely to be proven "wrong" and Dream will get off scot free.

Idk. Just wanted to get some brewing strong emotions out somewhere, feel free to delete or ignore this, I'd understand fully :) everyone please remember to do something unrelated to ccs that you love and find comforting, drink some water, eat some fruits and/or veggies, etc.

hey anon i did want to post and respond to this and just want to say thank you for sharing this with me that is not easy by any means and im so fucking sorry that happened to you and your friends. if this was not okay to respond to pls send me another anon and ill delete it. imma turn rbs off on this for now just to be safe.

thats why right now our rhetoric (not yours i mean the fandoms) is so fucking important. because the hyperfocus and analyzing Amanda and judging her emotional response because she doesnt fit what they think a victim of dream's should look like is abhorrent and it does shit like this, which is so traumitizing and awful for ppl like you and anyone else who has experiences with abuse/grooming/etc. I dont speak much about my own experiences and they are not the same by any means, but even i have been a bit triggered by this rhetoric bc of some things ive experienced in similar topics (i dont want to vent esp after you shared you experience so ill be vague).

I havent seen it on my dash but i have seen it on twitter and stuff especially. Be so careful how you talk about people who come forward about grooming/abuse/etc. Be careful how you scrutinize victims. because it has real fucking impact.

and as this lovely anon said please find comfort today and take care of yourselves srsly. even log off for a week if you need to. my heart is going out to everyone, especially amanda and any other victims.

Thanks again for this ask <3

hiii IM STILL ALIVE WE'RE JUST PROLONGING MY SOCIAL MEDIA BREAK bc weve been doing better, weve been staying with our bf thank god away from all the bullshit thats been going on with our family

i honestly dont feel too tempted to come on here which is nice, ive been slowly healing. i see small improvements that make me a little proud of myself

oh and bday soon!! <:3 and ive been drawing again i drew an oc ref andnim working on a gift ref for one of my bfs ocs. Oh and neocities me and lukas have been coding together and its been really fuxkign fun. and playing games again

i really wanna see social media as a fun of thing again which is why i dont think ill return here besides infrequent updates until it seems enjoyable again, twitter feels more comfy atm

i made really good ramen the other day with garlic butter paprika cinnamon&sugar and hot sesame oil!! then i put in a little of the pacjet and it made it so satisfying :D it wasnt spicy either it was really hearty and comforting

ive also been trying to read again even if its nostalgic books i find pdfs of and its been really nice

idk why im rambling so much i didnt sleep last night bc of my new meds but since my posts are so infrequent i felt like i should give a proper update, just so i feel satisfied not coming on if nothing else

we took a break bc we were paranoid and nitpicky of ourselves, nothing really happened i just got tired of feeling that way so we made the step

i hope this is the proper amount of Not oversharing while still being a nice cohesive update

i want to say sorry too for all of the vents before i took a break, i was going through it and venting was ultimately Not good for me! ik a lot of people vent but its still something we were personally unhappy with

tldr im doing my best and im determined to keep getting better idc how cheesy that sounds im embracing my corny side because fuck being nihilistic!

stay safe be kind and patient with yourselves and dont isolate, i hope everyone is well and taking care

me and my bflive laugh love

I'm sorry that i make coven blog some exchange of messages with others but i don't want to talk via messages with anyone, including coven because I had very bad experience with it plus everyone would attack me then. So that's why I use this method here sending anon replies. I agree with you too, anon. I guess that when my opinion wasn't loaded with negative emotions, especially about JK, more people would understand and reply this way before. But I'm only human with emotions that got the best of me. But just like you said. It's exactly this way. I treat coven as confidant who's in this topic and knows about this general obession over JK between fans so that's why it's a relief to spill the tea. But people act offended like it was about them. Maybe it is. But generally many Army's react this way. Idk maybe they don't fight back in rl and that's why they look for fights online. I already said it's some projection from their side. I also fought with others online when I had stesssful day but now i try not to do this. You're right. I've been fucking fighting for four years to not to think about JK. I used to think it's being in love but it's just attraction and fascination that is difficult to get rid of. Sounds like karmic lesson. So imagine how annoying it is when after seeing only one shit on Tumblr like gifset, he haunts my thought for hours. I actually felt happy when I saw him on vlive, especially with Bam so it's good but I'd like to not to think about it later. Like really, not think about him that often and randomly. Maybe avoiding everything related to him would be good but I get recommendations and he's really everywhere so I'd need to delete all of my social medias then. But I guess there would be some hot topic on Tumblr one day or elsewhere and I'd randomly saw him anyway. I guess it will pass but it just takes long. I'm sure it's some karmic lesson and i still need to learn something. I hope that I'll meet my spouse soon. I'm curious if he's my type. I'm a bit worried because my 7th house in vedic is ruled by Mars and astrologers say it symbolizes domineering, agressive, sporty, competetive spouse. If someone who knows astrology well, could tell me something more about this placement, I'd be grateful.

I get that you're very hurt. And it's okay to like a celebrity like JK. He represents alot of things at the same time. He is one of a very few number of people who backs up being this popular. Talent, looks and a lot of things in one. He is very easy to admire.

Anon, I know how bad it feels when people who are supposed to be your strength end up being the exact opposite and that's why I think people should calm down. At the end of a shitty day all you perhaps want is someone who shares a little bit of sympathy and not just be in an attack mode. So whenever you are deeply sad you vent out by saying stuff about him because you know that it won't affect him. By your posts I know that you know that you don't see him in your life and that's also proof that you are not delusional.

Don't mind me saying this but I think you feel good when all his fans attack you so that you have somebody to say things to. By this kind of fight you can say things that perhaps you won't in real life to the people you have real problems with.

Coven is cute that way. She gets the gossip for the blog and still she protects you because she knows what you feel and it's a win for you both.

Your crush and obsession is not really that. It's just that you don't like that people like him have the scope and opportunity to do things that their heart desires whereas someone like you has to fight for the smallest things.

I don't hate your messages and you don't have to apologize for this behavior because we all lose it sometimes but we are all not surrounded by people who won't judge us like that or admire us deeply for being soft and vulnerable.

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