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mermaidxatxheart · 3 years

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Better Together Chapter 6

ok, I know it's been a while. I'm sorry for the long time in between posts. I'm working on several stories at once, or at least trying to, while also trying to get accustomed to a promotion and new job responsibilities at work. Thanks to everyone who's stuck with me. I really appreciate you all. My work is no to be reposted anywhere without my permission.

Pairing: Poe Dameron X Reader

Word Count: 4.9k

Warnings: Violence, panic, Poe being soft, Bryce being a dick. I think we can just assume that will be a permanent tag.

Series Master List

Chapter Five

You try to sit up with a strangled scream, but you end up bouncing your head off the plastic dome monitoring your vitals.

“Hey, it’s okay.” A voice to your left says. The voice is… familiar, but it’s not the one you really wanted to hear. But at the same time, you’re grateful you don’t hear that voice.

You roll your head to see Bryce, your boyfriend. He’s your boyfriend. He won’t hurt you. You can relax.

Why aren’t you relaxing?

“You’re safe now. Back home where you belong.” He says gently, reaching for your hand. You flinch away and he frowns, pausing.

“S-sorry.” You rasp, closing your eyes.

“It’s cool.” He lifts the dome and moves to get your clothes at the foot of the table. “Come on. Get dressed, we’ll get you something to eat.” He says, setting them next to you.

You try to speak again, but your voice is just as rough, only this time you don’t know if it’s from being quiet for so long, or the raw emotions destroying you. You clear your throat painfully. “H-how’s Poe?” You ask, nearly stuttering over his name.

“Dameron is fine. Been annoying all the women ever since he got back.” Bryce rolls his eyes. He doesn’t catch the way you shrink in on yourself as you sit up.

So, Poe doesn’t...want to...see you. The words struggle in your mind. He’s… he’s probably trying to forget what you did to him. No wonder he doesn’t want to see you.

“Can you step outside so I can get dressed?” You ask quietly.

“Babe, it’s not like I haven’t seen it before.” He says and you lower your head. “Fine. Just, don’t take too long. I’m starving.” He says, walking out and shutting the door loudly behind you. You jump at the sudden snap of it and squeeze your eyes shut.

You can’t handle the commissary right now. It’s always packed full of people, loud, claustrophobic. You carefully get dressed, trying not to notice all the new marks on your body. You’re careful of the fresh stitches covering your arms, legs, stomach, and back. Careful not to pull the bandages holding you together.

You’re dressed faster than you want to be, stepping carefully out of the room. It still doesn’t feel safe, it feels like you should be hiding. You tug the long sleeves down further, wishing you had more to cover you.

“Come on.” He slings his arm around your shoulders and you tense as the weight settles on you. “I missed you.” He says softly, but you don’t feel comforted by his words. They turn to ice in your veins. He practically has to drag you along, your nerves stretching and spiking with each step, with every noise.

“I-I’m not hungry.” You protest, trying to dig your heels in. You can hear the loud room from here.

“Y/N, you have to eat.” He says firmly.

“N-n—“ you stammer, trying to push away from him. He sighs and scoops you up over his shoulder, carrying you along easily. Pain flares through you as your stitches pull. He’s not careful with you. Either he doesn’t know, or he doesn’t care. You try to struggle, you don’t care if he drops you. At least then you could get away.

“Y/N, I swear to the Maker, stop struggling. These are your friends. They want to know you’re okay.”

“What if I’m not?” You snap, the fear boiling over. You want to go to your room. You want to hide. You want to be alone. You want Poe.

He stops and considers for a minute before continuing on. “You can’t hide forever, Y/N.”

“Bryce, please, please!”

He walks inside and sets you down none too gently in a chair at a table full of people. “Look who’s finally awake.” He says loudly. Your teeth jar, biting down on your tongue from the abrupt impact.

There are five whole heartbeats where everyone is just staring at you. Something claws its way up your throat in the eerie silence, and then everything just explodes.

Voices, chairs moving, hands touching you, patting you on the shoulder, or touching your leg. The lights get too bright, you can’t see anything. You feel like they’re all climbing on top of you, too much weight. You can’t breathe. You try to suck in a breath, but it’s like your lungs won’t expand.

You bolt.

You’re not proud of it, but you shove through all the people and fly for the door. Blind twists and turns down hallways you don’t remember seeing, and couldn’t remember in the moment. You can barely hear your name being shouted behind you, but you can’t stop, can’t look back. You just know you’ve ripped stitches in your thighs, and stomach. You don’t care. Your only thought is escape. Hyper flight mode.

A hand grabs you from the darkness, pulling you in and pinning you against the wall. You fight, slapping and hitting against your assailant as you sob, gasping raggedly.

“Y/N! It’s me, stop it!!” Poe shouts, grabbing your wrists. “It’s Poe, it’s me. Stop.” He says, holding your hands against his chest until you stop fighting him.

You think you gasp his name, your legs give out on you and you sink to your knees in front of him, sobbing. He doesn’t let go of your wrists, just loosens his grip. Relief washes through you as you realize who it is.

“Breathe. Just breathe. Big, slow breaths for me, sweetheart.” He whispers, slowly kneeling in front of you.

“P-Poe—“

“I know. Sh, it’s okay. I’m right here.” He wraps his arms around you tightly, hugging you to him.

He shouldn’t be doing this for you, not after everything you put him through. Guilt roils through you, choking off your air. You start to pull away but he doesn’t let go. His fingers braid in your disheveled hair and you can’t help but sink into him a little more.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there when you woke up. I wanted to be.” He exhales in a rush, burying his face in your hair.

“Why—why would you want that?” You hiccup, keeping your face away from him.

“Because you’re my best friend? Why would you think I wouldn’t want to be there?”

“B-because,” you try taking a deep breath.

He seems to realize that you’re shivering on the cold ground. “Let’s get out of here. Do you wanna go back to medbay or your room?” He asks, easing you out of his arms and standing up.

You hesitate, suddenly not knowing how to ask him to stay. It’s selfish, you know it is, after everything you’ve put him through, to want him to suffer even longer.

“I don’t think I was actually discharged.” You mumble, pulling yourself to your feet on your own. It’s a massive effort.

He makes a noise in the back of his throat and steps to the door. He looks up and down the hallway before looking back at you. “It’s all clear.”

“I don’t even know what part of the complex I’m in.” You admit, dropping your head back. In the forest, you knew exactly where to go. But on a planet you’ve called home for how long? You’re lost.

Useless.

“Okay. Come on.” He holds out his hand and you’re so tempted to take it. But you don’t. Instead, you walk to the door with him and carefully slip out without touching him. You’ve done enough damage.

He follows after a small minute and leads you down the hallway. “You never answered my question.” He starts suddenly and you look up at him. His face has too many cuts, a deep bruise under his eye, a split lip. It hurts you to look at him. More guilt.

It’s your fault.

You could pretend to be ignorant. Not remember the question to stall for time. Claim sudden hearing loss. But you never could lie to him, and you don’t want to start now. You know exactly what question.

“I didn’t think you would want to be there. Not when this whole thing is my fa-fault.” You mumble, your voice cracking on the last word. You hate yourself for putting him through this. You hate yourself for feeling like a damsel in distress and not being able to fight back the way you should have.

He stops walking and stares at you. His forehead crinkled in confusion.

“You think—“ he starts, his voice incredulous, but is promptly cut off by a medical droid beeping angrily at you.

“Yeah, got it. Back to bed.” You mumble, taking one last look at a stunned Poe before following the droid the rest of the way.

The droid gets you back into a medical bed, looking almost as if it wants to restrain you to keep you there. You clutch your hands to your chest, not wanting to be restrained.

“I won’t go anywhere.” You promise. The droid beeps and rolls away, the door sliding shut behind it. You cross your legs and lay back, wincing at the pull in your ribs. On the list of things that hurt, the ribs are kind of low. But they’re drawing the most attention at the moment. The droid comes back after a moment, making quick work of fixing your stitches, hopefully for the last time. It rolls away and you’re left in agonizing silence. You stare at the ceiling, counting the cracks.

The door opens again and Leia walks in. You freeze, wondering what she could possibly want from you. Poe’s words flash through your mind. Do you think Leia is sobbing uncontrollably right now? She certainly looks tired, but not necessarily like she was heartbroken that you were gone for… for… you can’t remember how long you were in that place. You break out into a sweat. What else have you forgotten?

“Y/N,” she starts solemnly. “I’m so glad you’re back with us and awake.” She sits on the edge of your bed and you don’t know if this is protocol or not. Is it normal? You don’t say anything, you simply wait for her to continue, she’ll get to her point eventually. “Poe told me about what happened, I’d like your report as well, whenever you feel up to it. I know you must still be exhausted.” She says.

So, all business.

She probably didn’t even notice you weren’t there.

You nod once. You can be all business, too. “I’ll have it for you by tomorrow.” You say and she blinks.

“I didn’t mean—“

“You need it. You’ll have it.”

“Poe told me you were incredibly brave.” She says, watching your face as she speaks. She’s clearly looking for something.

“He—“ you cut off. You had been about to say that he exaggerates, or was lying. But then she would think that she can’t trust her most loyal commander. She slowly arches an eyebrow as you struggle to think. “He’s too kind. I was terrified. Did more harm than good.”

“Hmm. Well, in any case. I know you’re still healing. Bacta is useful, but it can’t heal everything overnight. Get some rest.” She stands up. “And,” she pauses and turns back to you. “If you need to talk, about anything at all, I’m here to listen.” She says pointedly. You nod once and she heads for the door, stopping only long enough for it to hiss open.

You slump back against the pillows, gritting your teeth against the sudden pain. It’s odd how sometimes you don’t feel it at all, and other times it’s all you can feel. You feel like you’ve been going nonstop for days and days. You need to think, to rest. You need to stand up to Bryce next time. You’re not just a scientist, you’re a damn good pilot-only second to Poe, and you’re one of the best shots on base. He can’t just push you around like he did.

You need to think, sort out what was real and what was panic. You close your eyes and try to hold as still as possible. The faces are the faces of your friends, this isn’t some First Order trick. They aren’t trying to hurt you.

But… then… Why was Poe shouting when he got off the ship? Something was wrong. Something was very wrong. Maybe you really are losing your mind.

The door hisses open and you jerk upright, instantly grabbing your side. Bryce tosses his jacket onto the chair next to your bed and crosses his arms, turning slowly to glare at you.

“Was that fun for you? You made me look like an idiot out there.” He snaps and you want to hurl something heavy at his head.

“I don’t want to talk to you right now. I’m tired.” You say, wishing there was a more final way to say that, like shutting a door in his face.

“You just slept for three days!” He shouts, throwing his hands up.

“Get. Out!” You shove yourself off your bed, ignoring the screaming pain in your ribs and back. “Get the fucking fuck out! I told you I wasn’t kriffing ready but you didn’t fucking listen. You never fucking listen! I just want some peace. Maker!” You shove him backwards through the door, bouncing it off its track. You feel the pop in your wrist, burning hot pain flares up your arm. “For once in your life, try to see things from someone else’s perspective.” You snap, going back into your room.

“Whoa, hey. I’m sorry, okay?”

You pick up the heavy decoration on the side table and throw it as hard as you can. If he hadn’t moved his stupidly perfect head, it would have hit him right in the face. Unfortunately, he does move and it crashes into the floor behind him, breaking into pieces. Good, more ammo for next time.

“I don’t want to hear your apologies! I want. To be. Alone!”

He holds up his hands and backs down the hallway. You walk around to the other side of the bed, sinking to the floor so that no one will see you. Your hands are trembling as you try to breathe. Your sides begin to ache for another reason altogether, and you realize you aren’t even breathing because you’re trying not to cry.

You let out a ragged gasp, covering your face in humiliation. Rocking forward, you rest your face on the ground, letting yourself hurt with every silent sob. You deserve all the pain. A curious beep reaches your ears and you cover your mouth, forcing yourself to keep quiet. You know, somewhere in the back of your mind, you need to get your new injuries checked out. You definitely did damage to your wrist. You feel a droid roll to a stop next to you, but you're not under control yet.

They beep softly again and nudge you with their big round base. You lift your head to see the familiar orange and white pattern of Poe’s droid, BB8. He rotates his lens up to look at you, and somehow, despite being metal and made of parts, he shows sympathy, worry, concern. He wants to know if you’re okay, if his friend is okay. Your vision goes blurry as your eyes flood with tears all over and he rolls forward, nestling right against your chest. You grip his headpiece, lowering your forehead against it and resting there, shoulders shaking and stomach cramping from the uncomfortable position. But you can’t bring yourself to move just yet.

***

Your head slips to the side and you jerk up, hitting your head against the edge of your bed. BB8 looks up at you, bless his circuit board. He would have stayed there with you for hours if you hadn’t woken yourself up. You wipe your tears and drool off his head.

“Sorry, buddy.” You whisper, voice not wanting to go higher than that. “You should get back to Poe. I’m sure he’s looking for you.”

His head tilts, question unasked in the quiet air.

“I’ll be okay. Thank you, for checking on me, I mean.”

He beeps a rapid-fire and rolls away in search of his master, or is friend a better description at this point? You twist, pulling yourself up and seeing Bryce sitting on the floor in the hallway. His eyes are closed as he rests his head against the wall.

With a sigh, you page for a med droid to come in and check on you. You lay back on your bed, closing your eyes while you wait. You didn’t mean to fall asleep on the poor droid.

Your wrist is checked out and bound. Already on the edge of breaking, shoving your stupid boyfriend pushed it over the edge. The droid tsks about not getting it taken care of right away before wheeling away.

“Can I come in now?” Bryce asks from the hallway.

“No. I’m still mad.” You reply, rolling over. It’s cool in here, settling in your bones in an unfamiliar way. You reach towards the end of the bed for a blanket before you realize there isn’t one there. With a huff, you get up and look around for one with no success.

“What are you looking for?” He asks, pushing himself up with a quiet grunt.

“A blanket. I’m freezing.” You reply, digging through the supply locker in the room.

“I’ll go get you one.” He turns around and disappears, leaving you to settle back down. You can hear those familiar beeps coming down the hallway and that voice you’ve come to depend on since you were taken follows it.

“Yeah, buddy, I know. Always rubbing it in.” Poe sighs.

Bryce comes back, spreading a heavy blanket over you before stepping back awkwardly. “Thanks. I’m sure you have something you need to be doing, Bryce. I’ll be here.” You say, more gently this time and he presses a tender kiss to your forehead.

“I’ll come see you after my shift. We’ll talk then and you can yell at me all you want, okay?” He promises.

You nod, laying your head down on the pillow as he leaves. You can see his shoulders tense as he sees Poe coming towards him. You can hear the little droid beeping in outrage but Poe shushes him.

“Is she awake?” He asks.

“She’s resting. You shouldn’t be here, anyway. Haven’t you done enough, Dameron?” Bryce snaps.

What? No. He’s not to blame! You are!

“Bryce. Go to work.” You call and he looks over his shoulder at you, unable to get rid of the coldness completely before he turns on his heel and storms off.

Poe waits until he can’t see him anymore before coming into your room. “Hi.” He says after a minute and your lips twitch.

“Hi.”

“Have a good nap?” He asks as BB8 chirps next to him.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to keep him here for so long.” You mumble.

Poe snorts. “He’s not sorry, bragged about it for at least ten minutes.” He rolls his eyes and you scoot over on the bed carefully. He eases himself down and takes your newly bandaged hand. “What happened?” He asks with a frown.

“I wasn’t careful. Typical me.” You scoff derisively.

He’s quiet for a long time, his handsome face going through a wide range of emotions as he traces the outline of your fingers. The feeling of it is relaxing, soothing you. Everything about him is comforting, just like he’s always been. Even though you don’t deserve his compassion, his forgiveness.

“Poe,” you start, capturing his hand, even though you could conceivably let him keep doing that forever.

“I have so many things I want to say to you.” He starts, his voice crumpled.

You take a deep breath and nod, steeling yourself for the inevitable. It’s going to hurt, it will break your heart, but he should say it. Tell you he hates you for kissing him, for distracting him, for getting him caught, and all the terrible things that came after it.

“You sa-said before that this is all your fault.” He starts, his eyes very firmly on your hands wrapped around his.

“Because it is.” You answer and his beautiful brown eyes squeeze shut.

“How can you even think that?” His voice cracks and you’ve never seen him so close to tears before. This is the man that’s perpetually in a good mood, everything is an opportunity to make you laugh. Even in the face of certain harm, he’s making jokes.

“Poe, I distracted you. I—“ you glance at the door to look for potential eavesdroppers. “In the river, I ki—“

He covers your mouth softly. You could easily pull his hand away, but you don’t. “We were on a planet where the most dangerous thing was supposed to be a giant butterfly. There was no way to know, no indication of anyone else being on the planet. You didn’t do anything wrong, sweetheart.” He says. You can hear the sincerity in his voice, but you can’t stop the feeling that he’s wrong. You did everything wrong. “And… we don’t have to… to talk about that thing in the river… if you don’t want to.” He stammers, scratching at the back of his neck.

You want to. You want to do it again. But you can’t. Your fingers flex in his before pulling them back against your torso, cutting off all touch with his warm body.

“Leia came to see me earlier.” You change the subject without giving him an answer. You’re not ready to close the book yet, but you can’t open it yet, either.

“Yeah. I gave my debrief.” He says, sounding a little deflated.

“You lied.” You correct and his head snaps up.

“What?”

“You told her I was brave. That was a big, fat lie.” You say and he rolls his eyes.

“You’re impossible.” He takes your hand again. His touch is feather-light, soft, and delicate as he strokes the back of your hand, following the length of your fingers.

“I don’t think she cried.” You say suddenly and he looks up at you.

“Come again?”

“You asked if I thought Leia sobbed uncontrollably while we were gone. I don’t think she even got a stuffy nose.” Your voice turns dark, your secret angry thought slipping out before you can stop it.

“You think she didn’t care?” Poe asks.

“Did you find out how long we were gone?”

“Yeah. Three weeks.” He says, practically choking on it.

“Two weeks over what we were supposed to be gone. You don’t think that’s odd? She didn’t send anyone after her best pilot?”

“Y/N, she has a lot of different responsibilities, to more than just us. We had no contact with anyone prior. How would they have found us? They didn’t have our information yet. They would have been just as lost as we were.” He reasons.

“Ground exploration on a new planet should have more than two people. No matter how good one of them is.” You pull your hand back, angry now.

You don’t want to be angry, not with Poe, of all people. But you can’t stop yourself. He’s rolling over and playing lapdog for his perfect princess, same as he always does. Your cheeks burn with anger.

Hurt crosses his face, his hands suspended where they were. “Both. She sent two of her best people. She sent you, and me because we work so well together. Because we could get it done much faster, quieter, better than anyone else on this base.” He says and your heart wavers.

You don’t want to cause him any more pain. You take a shaky breath. “I’m sorry, I think I just need sleep.” The words sound stiff, forced.

“Do you want me to stay?” He asks, but you shake your head.

“No. I’m just gonna catch a few hours and then get to work on the report for Leia.”

“No, I already did that.” He corrects.

“She asked me for one.”

“I debriefed so you wouldn’t have to go through it again.” He clenches his hands. “I’ll take care of it.” He promises.

“I don’t mind. It might give her a better idea of what a rotten liar you are.” You say, trying to joke.

“I didn’t lie.” He huffs, leaning down and pressing the softest kiss to your forehead. “I’ll leave BB8 with you if you need anything. Come find me when you wake up?”

“Promise.” Your voice cracks at just the wrong moment and he stills, looking down at you.

“I can stay. Just like in the cave.” He offers.

“Go away.”

He gives your hand a gentle squeeze and stands up. “What happened to the door?” He asks.

“I shoved Bryce through it.” You admit and he breaks out into a grin.

“That’s my girl.” He praises before walking through it.

You have to stop yourself from calling him back, from begging him to stay with you. It’s not that you don’t trust anyone else here, they are your friends. But, Poe would understand. He knows what you went through, he understands what it was like. He won’t judge you for being upset. When you lost your temper with him just now, he didn’t get mad, he talked you down.

No, Poe Dameron understands better than anyone what emotions you’re going through right now. He goes through them on a daily basis and has for a long time.

***

You can’t look at him. Every time you do, another wave of guilt threatens to drown you. You kissed him. You kissed him. You have a boyfriend back home, missing you and you went and kissed your best friend. And worse, got said best friend captured by the enemy.

Now, he’s furious with you. Hasn’t said a word in hours. You can’t remember the last thing he said. Did he shush you? Was it your name? You can’t remember. Tears blur your vision as you try to twist your face away from him.

“Shit. Y/N,” he starts. “Hey, it’s gonna be okay. I’ll get us out of this.” He promises.

And just the fact that he thinks that’s what you’re upset about is blindingly frustrating. And that he feels the need to fix your fuck up.

“Why don’t they just kill us?” You ask, forcing the tears not to fall.

“They probably want information on the Resistance.” He clenches his jaw. “Y/N, I never wanted to have to say this to you, but no matter what they do to you, you can’t talk. You can’t tell them anything.” He pleads.

You nod. “Okay. I won’t say anything.” You promise weakly. The idea of being tortured is so out of your realm, you don’t know what to expect. But Poe seems to know something at the very least.

He curses again and you look back at his face. “I promise. I promise I’ll get us out of this.” He thrashes against the metal restraints on the upright table and you worry he’s going to hurt himself.

“I’ll be okay, Poe.” You whisper, but he squeezes his eyes shut.

The door behind you opens and a StormTrooper walks in. You can’t tell if it’s one of the same ones from the forest, but it doesn’t matter. This one is carrying a tray with a cloth covering it.

“Ready to begin?” He asks, voice modulated to fit your nightmares. “Where is your base of rebel scum?” He asks, slowly removing the cloth and picking up a thin blade. He turns towards Poe, sliding the knife under the silver chain around your partner’s neck. His mother’s ring, beautiful as it glints in the light, slowly rotates into view. Poe struggles slightly, giving his restraints another hard yank, but he gets nowhere. The stormtrooper curls his fingers around it, tugging and popping the chain free. He tosses it into the dank corner and it disappears from view. Poe snarls until the trooper lifts the glittering knife again and turns his helmet towards you. You can feel him studying you, sizing you up.

“I said, where is your base of rebel scum?”

Poe looks over at you, and you can see the worry in his eyes. Will he start with you? Or with Poe? When neither of you answers, he turns and slashes out at your best friend. You cry out, thinking he cut his throat, but instead, there’s a small cut on his cheekbone.

“I haven’t got anywhere to be. Let’s begin again.” He says evenly and your stomach clenches uncomfortably.

***

You sit up with a ragged gasp, clutching at your face. Blindly, you find the medical droid and sign yourself out, grabbing the blanket and heading through the halls for the one person you want to see. BB8 rolls after you, chirping quietly. You feel for the chain in your pocket, the weight of it is comforting.

You knock quietly on the door. It’s so late, you shouldn’t be here. The door slides open and he's there in front of you, exhausted and very much alive. He holds out his arms and you step easily into them, heartbeat finally settling.

Poe.

He walks you back inside and lays down on his bed without a single word. No teasing, no jokes. Just him being there for you like always. You wait until he’s comfortable before crawling into bed next to him and laying down, your head resting against his chest.

“I’m sorry.” You mumble.

“Sh. Go to sleep. I’m here.” He says gently, his big, warm hands rubbing your back.

Chapter 7

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crypticwanda · 3 years

Text

Collapse | pt. 11

Summary: after your unusual incident with Norm, you've been suspicious of something strange going on in your town. When more strange things start happening, you start to believe that wanda may be behind it all

pairing(s): wanda maximoff x reader

warnings: angst, cursing, arguing, mention of sparky death

notes: this is still 80s wanda and next chapter will be 90s! // this is also mainly based upon episode 5 of wandavision

taglist: @myperfectlovepoem @fayhar @supersourlemon13 @royalityofmultifandom @madamevirgo @b0mbdotc0m @olsensnpm @internetsubmarines @imapotato @xxxtwilightaxelxxx

part 1 here!

It's been about a few days in your mind since your unusual encounter with Norm at the supermarket. Wanda kept telling you to just forget it but, it had stayed prominent in your mind.

As time went on, more strange things continued happening around you. It seemed like everytime you had talked to someone in town, they had unusual interactions with you. It almost seemed like they were scared but couldn't show it. All of these interactions had one thing in common, they all mentioned wanda. You had no idea how or why they did but, it made your head spin. You wanted to confront wanda about this but you didn't really know how. You knew she had powers but, could she really control everyone's minds?

You were driving home from work one day and pulled into your driveway when you see billy and tommy run up to the side of your car. "Woah woah, what's going on boys?" You ask as you step out of the car. "Momma! It's sparky!" Tommy said as he clinged to the bottom of your shirt. They both grabbed ahold of each of your hands and pulled you toward the other side of the street, towards Agnes's house. You looked up to see Agnes standing there, holding something wrapped up in a blanket. "I'm so sorry Y/N, I found him in my azalea flowers, I don't know how many leaves he ate. I didn't find him until it was too late." Agnes explained sadly. Your face slowly evolved into sadness as you looked down at the boys next to you, both of them clinging onto your shirt tightly. "I'm so sorry boys." You said as you kneeled down next to them.and both of them wrapped their arms around your neck. You kept both of your hands up to rub their backs softly.

"Can't mom fix him?" Billy asked as he pulled away from your neck. You shook your head as you put your hand on his cheek that was wet from his tears. "That's not how it works honey, sparky's already dead." You mutter as you hold his face softly. "But mom can fix him!" Tommy said as he also pulled away from your neck. "She can fix the dead, she's done it before." Billy says as you snap your head around to look at him. "What do you mean she's done it before?" You asked quietly as your eyebrows furrowed.

"She could do that?" Agnes asked as she stood there with sparky still in her arms. You looked up at her before shaking your head and standing up. "No, she can't." You said briefly before putting each of your hands ontop of the boys heads. "Let's go home boys, we can bury him in the backyard." You say firmly. "Go ahead inside, tell mom about what happened." You told them as the boys sniffle slightly before beginning to turn around and walk towards the house.

You turned around to face Agnes before reaching your hands out to grab sparky's body. "Thank you Agnes." You muttered to her as she nodded back to you. You turned around again and began walking towards your house and around the back door.

You sighed deeply before opening the back door back into the house after you had just buried sparky. You looked up to see wanda standing across the kitchen, holding a laundry basket in her hands. "How are the boys?" You ask as you turn to wash your hands in the sink. "They're a little heartbroken but they'll be okay." She reassures you as you pick up a dish towel and dry your hands off. "It's not normal to bury your dog the day you got it." You commented as you turned to face her from across the kitchen. "Well time moves fast in suburbs." Wanda said with a smile on her face as she looked up at you.

"What is it you're not telling me?"

Wanda stopped in her tracks as she turned her head slowly to look at you. "What are you talking about?" She smiles as she shakes her head. "Don't do that." You shake your head as you look up at her with crossed arms and she looked back at you confused. "Don't act oblivious." You say, your eyebrows furrowing low above your eyes. Wanda looked at you for a moment before scoffing and shaking her head with a smile on her face. "Y/N, let's not do this right now." She tries to brush it off as she begins to walk out of the kitchen. "No, you can't just walk away from this!" You argued as you followed her into the living room. "What did you do to the people of the town?" You questioned angrily as you continued to follow her. "Why are you speaking to me like this?!" Wanda yelled as she turned around to face you. "Because something strange is going on in this town, and you know something I don't!" You shouted as you pointed to her. "I haven't done anything wrong!" Wanda said loudly as she shook her head. "Stop lying to me!" You screamed as she looked at you with glossy eyes. "Every single strange thing that has happened in this town has come back to you! I mean, i don't even remember my life before Westview!" You yelled as a tear fell from both of your eyes. "So please, for once, just tell me the fucking truth!" You scolded as you grit your teeth together. Wanda looked at you sadly and confused as you both stood there across from each other.

"You've never spoken to me like this before." Wanda muttered as she turned to sit on the couch. "Before what?" You asked, still gritting your teeth as you turned to her. She sat on the couch and put her face in her hands as she sighed. "I don't even know how I did this all!" She said frustratedly as she put her hands on her knees. You closed your eyes for a moment before sighing deeply and sitting on the arm of the couch next to her. "Just tell me what you remember." You muttered beneath your breath as you softly laid a hand on her back.

Before she could respond, there was a knock at the door. "I'll get it." Wanda said softly as she stood up from the couch and walked over to the front door. She opened the door and became stiff as she looked at the person at the door. "Wanda, who's at the door?" You asked as you stood up from the couch.

"Pietro." She whispered under her breath as she looked at the man in front of her at the door. "Can't a guy get to hug his freaking sister or what?" He says enthusiastically as he gestures towards her. Wanda sighs deeply before wrapping her arms around him, still looking shocked as she pulled away from him. Your eyebrows furrowed together as you saw Pietro walk into the room slowly. You were confused and shocked at everything that just happened in the span of 30 minutes but, you had decided to try and see where this goes. You trusted wanda, but there was something going on that you had to find out.

#marvel #mcu #mcu headcanons #the avengers #avengers #avengers x reader #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda x reader #avengers headcanon #mcu x reader #wanda maximoff x you #wanda x you #wanda maximoff #wanda hcs #wanda oneshot #wandavision #wandavision hcs #wanda maximov

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troublesomeshika · 3 years

Text

After all this time, I'm still into you (3)

shikamaru nara x reader word count: 4.7k warnings: swearing, anti-kiba, fluff

You woke up groggily, the events of the day before coming back to you in pieces as you solved the puzzle. Something fluttered in your stomach but you pushed it down. Looking at the clock you saw it showed 10:07. If you were going to get your errands done, you needed to be out of bed thirty minutes ago at the latest. You threw the covers off, stretching as you stood. First things first: laundry. You threw your clothes from the night before into your hamper, grabbing the few stragglers that lay around the room to be sure they made it in. Quickly throwing on an outfit, you grabbed the hamper and walked it down to the washing room. After you’d finished and hung up your clothes to dry, it was almost noon. You glanced at your pantry, seeing the dust that had begun collecting on some of the shelves and groaned. You needed to hand in your fixed report so groceries would just have to wait until later tonight.

You were jogging, it had taken longer than you’d expected to hand everything in and it was already past twelve. You came to a halt a block from Ichiraku and tried to steady your breathing. Looking down, you smoothed out your shirt and ran your hands over your hair before shaking your head. You were having lunch with a friend, you didn’t need to look perfect. Shaking your head, you looked up to see Shikamaru standing outside the ramen shop with an eyebrow raised.

“How are you always late to everything?” he chided as you walked up and ducked beneath the pulled back curtain into the small booth.

“Sorry, sorry, errands took longer than I thought.” You smiled at Teuchi behind the counter as you took a seat near the wall. Shikamaru sat next to you, your elbows bumping together in the small area. You willed your stomach not to flip at such a small thing, reminding yourself, once more, that you were friends, best friends.

“So, they took it with your corrections and everything?” Shikamaru looked up from the menu.

“Hm? Oh yeah, I got chewed out for making the mistake even though they already yelled at me for it when they first gave it back, but it’s whatever.”

He chuckled, “Maybe you’ll do it correctly next time.”

You slapped his arm, looking down at the menu to decide what you wanted. Once the two of you ordered, you turned to him. “So what have you done today? Been at all productive, or no?”

He glared at you, “I’ll have you know that I woke up early and went to training with Ino and Choji, so no comments on my laziness. I’ve earned the rest of the day off.”

“Oh so one morning training session earns you a half day off? Guess I should have at least 2 years of vacation stored up then.”

“Uh, yeah. And yet you’d never take any unless I made you. But don’t worry, I’m a giver.” He smirked at the last part.

You rolled your eyes, “Oh yes, it must be so hard, but thank god you make the sacrifice.” Your voice dripped with sarcasm.

He shrugged, “It’s my duty, otherwise I’d be hard at work right now.” That made you laugh out loud, something about the idea of Shikamaru working hard was unimaginable. “Hey, woah it’s not that funny, I do work hard sometimes.” That only made you snort.

“Mhmm yeah, you. Shikamaru Nara. Working hard at something? That’d be a site to s-”

“Y/N?” You heard a voice behind you, which made you turn your head.

“Oh, uh hey Kiba.” You smiled and brought a finger to your face, trying to quickly wipe the small tears at the corner of your eye.

He only glowered in response, looking between you and Shikamaru. “Already moved on, huh?”

Your brow furrowed, “What?” You glanced at Shikamaru whose face showed no emotion.

“I saw the way you used to look at him, you’re doing it now. I knew you had feelings for him the whole time.”

“Woah woah, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He scoffed in response.

“Hey, I’m trying to have lunch with my friend, so you can kindly fuck off if you’re gonna be weird about it.” You started to turn back around before he piped up again.

“So were you fucking him behind my back or is this a new development?” he sneered, “I should’ve known when you said it just wasn’t working between us, can’t expect you to slow down, right?”

You felt like the air had been knocked out of you. “Excuse me?” You stood, raising an eyebrow at the boy in front of you, “I didn’t do what you’re accusing me of, but if you wanna do this in public, let’s do it,” Your smile was icy- you loved him, how could he ever accuse you of something like this?

“No,” he shook his head. “I’ve had enough of this, Y/N.”

“Enough of what?” Shikamaru’s drawl came from behind you, “Kiba, stop spouting off.”

“You shut your mouth!” Kiba exploded.

“You’re the one accusing people here!!” You yelled at him.

“Yeah because you’re the one on a date weeks after breaking up with me and acting all heartbroken.”

“So what if she’s on a date, Kiba, you don’t own the girl.”

“This isn’t a date and Shikamaru, stay the fuck out of this.” You gritted your teeth. The last thing you needed was another person involved in whatever this was.

“God, the two of you are so troublesome, you’re drawing a crowd. Kiba, just leave, you’re not going to accomplish anything here.”

The boy practically snarled at the two of you, baring his teeth before turning on his heel to stalk off. You were breathing heavy, fists clenched when you felt a hand on your shoulder. Rounding on Shikamaru you spat at him, “Why did you butt in? I didn’t ask you to say anything, now he’s definitely going to think I cheated on him. God!” You brought your hand to your forehead and squeezed hard.

“Hey, just.... sit back down. C’mon.” He guided you to your stool as you felt the lump in your throat that had been threatening to form.

“Why did he have to do that in public.... Now everyone will think I’m a cheater.” You stared at the counter in front of you.

“It’s Kiba, what could you expect? He’s a hotheaded idiot, I still can’t believe you even gave him the time of day, let alone dated him.”

“Really not the time, Shikamaru.” You pressed your fingers to your temples, “I didn’t need this today.” Your nerves were so shot that when Ayame placed your order in front of you, you jumped.

“Honestly, I really don’t think anyone is gonna think that.” His hand rested on your back now, but you were too preoccupied to think about it.

“God, I just, the worst part is that I still love him so much? Why would he....” tears reappeared at the corners of your eyes, this time stinging with anger and pain.

“Hey, look at me.” You continued staring at the bowl in front of you, afraid that if you moved, your composure would break and you’d be reduced to crying in public. “Y/N, I need you to look at me, right now.” Shikamaru’s voice was firm and unwavering, but you could only shake your head softly. You sensed him stand up beside you before he turned your body and enveloped you in a hug. Your face hidden, tears spilled quickly onto his shirt, it was short but needed. You clenched your fist, digging your nails into your palm to ground you before taking a deep breath and untangling yourself from Shikamaru. When you looked up, his cheeks were flushed, likely from secondhand embarrassment.

You smiled sheepishly, “Sorry about that, didn’t mean to fall apart on you!” you wiped your face quickly, turning to your bowl of food, “Better eat before it gets cold!” You forced an upbeat tone into your voice, trying to hide how you felt. Shikamaru sat down beside you and you felt his gaze still on you. “I’m okay, really, I just.... Having a bad day I guess.” You took a bite of your food and swallowed it, willing the lump in your throat to disappear. “Anyways, I overheard that your team is being sent out on a mission soon, do you know what it’s for?” Looking up, his eyes were studying you, picking you apart as only he could.

He turned to his own food, picking up noodles on his chopsticks before replying, “I think it’s something about retrieving some stolen information, but I’m not sure. I didn’t really read the message they sent me, just looked at when we’re leaving.”

“Which is?” You took another bite, beginning to realize how hungry you were.

“Tomorrow morning.” He took a bite and your eyes lingered on his lips a second longer than a friend’s eyes should.

“Oh, so you probably need to get ready, I guess just lunch for today then.”

“Tch, you’re not getting out of it that easily. Especially after what just happened.”

You rolled your eyes, taking another bite before replying, “Please, it was a momentary lapse for me, I’m really alright and if you need to cut out to prepare, I can just take a rain check.”

He shook his head. “You trying to weasel out of this is tiring and it’s making me need the time off even more.”

You sighed, “Fine fine,” you held up your hands, finished with your meal, “lemme know when you’re ready to go.”

He looked up, mildly shocked, “You’re already done?”

Shrugging you grinned at him, “Need the fuel to keep me energized.”

He simply sighed and began eating faster. You took the opportunity to ask Ayame for the bill. By the time you’d paid, Shikamaru had finished his own serving and was standing waiting for you. “Ready?” you asked. He nodded and the two of you began walking. You talked to Shikamaru, going on about something Ino had said recently, not really paying much attention to where you were going. This made it all the more surprising when you looked around and realized you were in the woods, surrounded by trees. “Shikamaru? Where are we?”

He chuckled, “Took you long enough to realize.”

Your heart was pounding as you realized you must be in the Nara woods. “Hey uh, I’m not gonna get trampled and beaten up by your deer right?”

“As long as you don’t annoy me, no. You’re here with me, they won’t bother you.” You couldn’t help but glance around the trees, noticing the eyes that blended in with the scenery. You shifted closer to Shikamaru as you walked, feeling the deer watch you. You felt bad as you bumped against his arm for the fourth time, hearing him sigh. Suddenly there was a weight on your shoulder and you were pulled to the side. “There. Will you calm down now? It’s clear you’re not a threat, they just watch everyone, it’s their thing.”

You nodded in reply, but your heart rate had only sped up now that his arm was around you. Thankfully you came to a clearing of soft grass where the sun shone perfectly. You couldn’t help the soft gasp that fell from your lips as you stepped into the area.

Shikamaru chuckled beside you, “Yeah, this is my secret spot.”

You thwaked his side softly with your arm, “Shikamaru Nara. I cannot believe you never showed me this!”

“Well then it wouldn’t have been secret now would it?” he grinned at you, but you were busy staring around the clearing.

“It’s so beautiful,” you breathed out.

“Yeah....”

You crouched down, running your hands through the soft grass before stretching yourself out. “Well? If we’re gonna relax, let’s relax.”

He chuckled, looking down at you, “Alright fine, but I brought you here to make sure you’d relax, so no fidgeting.” He laid down perpendicular to you, resting his head on your thighs. Feeling your heart rate spike again, you shifted and put one arm behind your head. Your foot was still bouncing softly until Shikamaru reached out and grabbed it. “Stop fidgeting,”

You blushed, “Sorry, I didn’t realize.” He sighed in response and your hand one made its way down to his hair. You had to continue moving somehow, this was the least offensive option. Before touching his hair you made sure to ask, “You okay with this?” When he hummed in response, you began to slowly fiddle with his hair, making sure not to pull on it. It was nice, you hadn’t done this in years, but it felt natural. The sun on your skin warmed your entire body and the grass was softer than any you’d felt. There was a soft breeze that carried some kind of floral scent and the clouds were floating by serenely above. You felt more relaxed than you had in years, and as your mind drifted you felt the urge to tell Shikamaru how you felt. He had a right to know, and you had a right to make your feelings known. You knew he didn’t feel the same, and you’d made your peace with that. “Shikamaru?”

“Mm?” he hummed quietly in response.

“You ever think about how insignificant we are in the world?”

He snorted, “Y/N what are you on?”

“I don’t quite know,” you watched the clouds drift by above, “I think I just wanna talk to you,” you wove a few strands of his hair carefully through your fingers.

“As long as I don’t have to respond,” you tugged lightly on his hair in response.

“So you don’t mind if I just talk mindlessly to you?”

“No, I don’t mind Y/N. Feel free to babble about whatever you’d like.”

You smiled at his word choice, “Okay, well I feel like I owe you the truth especially after earlier today,” He only sighed, waiting for you to continue. “What Kiba said wasn’t actually that crazy, I realized last night that....” you paused, taking a deep breath, “I have feelings for you and they aren’t friend feelings,” you rushed your next words, making sure to get them out before he could reply, “I tried to get over it, but.... I’m still into you.” You stared straight up, focusing on a misshapen cloud that was floating lazily overhead.

“Is that all?” Shikamaru’s voice sounded mildly amused.

“Yeah, just.... thought I’d tell you,” you felt more comfortable, especially since he hadn’t sat up or pulled away. You closed your eyes, enjoying the feeling of not hiding anything.

“Well, I guess you ought to know that I feel the same.” His voice didn’t change at all and he sounded almost bored.

Your heart stopped and your eyes snapped open, but you didn’t move. “You.... do?”

“Mhm.”

“Oh, okay.” you paused, unsure of what to do next. You felt Shikamaru shift and you sat up. You looked into his eyes, noticing his slight smirk as you waited for his next move.

His hand was resting on your thigh and he looked down at it before speaking, “I guess the next thing is for me to ask you out,” his thumb traced soft circles across your leg, “what a drag.”

“Well seeing as I confessed, shouldn’t I be the one to ask you out?” You raised an eyebrow, grinning at him. “So Shikamaru,” he shook his head, chuckling as you continued, “will you go out with me?”

He looked up and grinned, “I’d love to.”

Your heart swelled as you reached out and cupped his face, softly stroking his cheek. You sighed, “Maybe it’s too early, but.... I think I love you Shikamaru Nara.”

A blush covered his usually reserved features as he shifted to hide his face against your stomach, “Troublesome woman,” You laughed and tangled your fingers in his hair as you laid back again. “I think I love you too.” he murmured softly into your skin. The smile on your face wouldn’t go away as you closed your eyes, relishing in the feeling of happiness that washed over you.

“So does this mean you’ll start paying for meals?”

“Not if you keep losing, our rule still stands.”

You hummed, softly running your hands through his hair. “Mm fine. When’s our next rematch then? I need to know so I can get your dad to teach me.”

His head appeared above you, his ponytail messy from your fingers, “You wanna come over tonight?”

You smiled at his eagerness, “Shikamaru, I don’t think your mom would take kindly to me bumming two meals in a row off you guys.” You reached up, caressing his face.

He leaned into your hand and smirked, “Please, you know she loves you, more than me.”

You raised an eyebrow, “Maybe it’s because I don’t lay around her house and mutter things under my breath when she asks for help.”

“You’re so rude,” He frowned, “maybe I won’t go out with you.”

You pulled his head to your shoulder, “Then I’ll just have to pester you until you do.”

“You would wouldn’t you,” he melted into you and you smiled at his weight on your body.

“Mhmm. If I have to come throw rocks at your window every night, I will.” You pressed a soft kiss on the side of his head. “If that’s what it will take, then that’s just what I’ll have to do. But it would be so very troublesome,” you threw his favorite phrase back at him to which he only huffed, “so please don’t make me.”

“Fine. But come over tonight?” He murmured into your ear, his hot breath making goosebumps run their way down your body.

You twirled the short hair at the nape of his neck as you thought about it, “Alright, I guess you’ve convinced me.”

He shifted and pressed a small kiss to your cheek. “Whoever thought I’d be the one having to force you to do things?”

“Quite a change of pace hmm?”

He rolled onto his back and pulled your body close to his, “Well then, I’ll have to make sure to beat you next time we compete so we can balance things out again.”

“I’m looking forward to it.” You nuzzled into his chest, and everything felt right. Breathing in his soft and familiar smell, you felt yourself drifting in the afternoon sun. The next thing you knew, soft kisses were being pressed against your head as you heard Shikamaru murmuring your name. Your eyelids fluttered open and you tilted your head to look up at him. A drowsy smile adorned his lips which you mirrored.

“Hi,” he breathed out.

You laughed softly, “Hi,” you felt like a schoolgirl again, shy and soft.

“How was your nap?”

“Wonderful, you make a great pillow.” You both sat up. Shifting to straddle him, you threw your arms around his shoulders. The sun was setting and it was catching on his hair just perfectly. You leaned forward and pressed your forehead to his, taking a deep breath. “I think this is the happiest I’ve been in awhile.”

“Oh really? All because of me?” His lips were tilted up in a cocky smirk.

You leaned forward slowly, lips barely brushing his and breathed out, “All because of you.” before pushing your lips against his. The way you two moved against each other was natural. You felt his hands grip your hips as you pulled away for air. A soft breeze blew past, alerting you to how flushed your face was as the cool air hit your cheeks. You leaned your head back to look up at the sky, noticing the stars beginning to shine above. “We should probably get back, seems our day off has ended.”

Shikamaru sighed, tugging you closer to him, “What a drag, how about five more minutes?”

You smiled, and tapped his nose with your finger, “C’mon lazy, let’s go.” You stood and held your hands out to him. He took them and you pulled him up, lingering there, fingers tangled together before you began pulling him back towards the village.

“That’s the wrong way, genius.” He laughed and pulled you the other way and you smiled sheepishly.

“Sorry, guess you just make my head spin so much I don’t know which ways which.”

He groaned, “Please tell me that’s the only dumb line you’re gonna use.”

“Well, I got lost in your eyes, but since you know where you’re going I’ll just follow your lead.” You were grinning up at him, a shit eating grin plastered across your face. You opened your mouth, about to continue, but he cut you off quickly with a kiss.

“Dork,” he muttered, throwing an arm around your shoulder. You began walking back the way you’d come, offering up different terrible pick up lines whenever they came to you. By the time you came to the road you were sure he was questioning his earlier decision of saying yes to you, the only thing betraying otherwise was the slight upturn of the corner of his mouth. You turned towards his house, seeing the lights on, and you were struck by how much had changed in 24 hours. It felt crazy, but it also felt right. Shikamaru groaned beside you, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers.

“You okay?”

“I just don’t wanna have to tell my parents about us, my mom’s gonna be insufferable about it.”

You stopped walking, “Well, I don’t have to come over, really it’s fine. We spent the whole day together.”

“No no,” he pressed his forehead to yours, “I want you to come over.”

“Okay well then we don’t have to tell your parents about us.”

He shifted from foot to foot, clearly thinking, “Hmm, I guess so.”

You laughed and pushed him away, “Then we’re back to platonic for tonight.”

“One more kiss? Just to tide me over.” He raised an eyebrow.

You rolled your eyes, unable to stop yourself from smiling at the request, “Hmm, I guess so.” You mocked him as he stepped closer and tilted your head up with his index finger, kissing you soft and slow.

He pulled away, dropping his hand from your chin, “Ready for another friendly dinner? Emphasis on the friend part.”

“I am, let’s go,” you both walked up to his front door and he opened it for you, the smell of mackerel wafting out the door, “You just keep winning today huh?” You glanced at him, knowing how much he loved the food, but he only grinned in response.

You walked in and were greeted by Yoshino who was visibly surprised to see you. “Oh, Y/N, Shikamaru didn’t tell me we were expecting you back again tonight!”

You blushed, embarrassed, “I’m sorry for the intrusion ma’am. I don’t have to stay for dinner, it's not a big deal!” You turned to Shikamaru ready to bid him goodbye but he didn’t look at you.

“It’s fine, I’m sure we have enough for you, right mom?”

“Yes, of course! That’s not at all what I meant!” Yoshino rushed to assure you, “I was just surprised is all. Well, Shikamaru come and help me serve the food, your dad is just getting changed out of his work clothes. Feel free to sit down, Y/N.” Shikamaru smiled at you, touching the small of your back softly before continuing through to the kitchen. You walked over to the shogi board that was still out, observing the game that was leftover from the night before, the one that had led to lunch this afternoon, where you’d seen Kiba.... had it really been this afternoon that that had happened? You still felt terrible about it, but the sound of Shikaku entering the room forced you to push your thoughts aside.

“Ah, Y/N! Back to join us?”

You smiled and nodded, “Yes sir, also, real quick, I was wondering, do you think you could tell me why I lost this game last night?”

He grinned, “Ah, want to know what you should’ve done to beat him?”

“Yes sir.” You took a seat where Shikamaru had sat and Shikaku took your position.

“Well, it looks like when you moved your lance, you left yourself open to attack, and from there you were bound to end up in checkmate. You should have left your lance where it was,” he began explaining how you should’ve gone about capturing Shikamaru’s pieces. You tried to pay attention, you really did, but shogi was just so boring and so much had happened that your mind began wandering on its own. “And then he would’ve been stuck in checkmate and you would’ve won.” Shikaku finished his explanation looking up at you.

You looked up and nodded, “I’ll be honest I don’t know if I got all that but I think some of it stuck somewhere in my brain so thank you.”

He bobbed his head, frowning, “Well, if you’d like me to train you, you know where to find me, I’m always up to help you beat Shikamaru.” He smiled and stood, “Now, we should probably make our way to dinner before Yoshino gets angry.”

You stood and followed him through to see Shikamaru putting the plates out with a dish towel thrown over his shoulder. He looked so domestic it made you smile. He glanced up at you and you felt your stomach flip as he flashed you a smirk. You sat in the same place you had the night before, and made polite conversation as you ate. The topic of your day came up and you were forced to confess how Shikamaru had forced you to go cloud watching with him.

“Oh, so he roped you into his lazy antics as well?” Yoshino glared at Shikamaru who only shrugged.

You laughed, “Yes, but I think I was in need of a day off so it wasn’t unwelcome.”

“Who isn’t, I could use a day off. How about we go cloud watching, honey?” Shikaku smiled at his wife.

“Hm, I don’t know about cloud watching, but you could stand to take some time off as well.” You admired the way they were so comfortable with each other, going back and forth. Seeing how clearly they loved each other caused you to look fondly across the table at Shikamaru.

Yoshino spoke up, “You know, I was always so sure you two would get together.”

“Mom!”

You flushed bright red and stared down at your food, trying hard to suppress your smile.

Yoshino held her hands up, “I’m only being honest.” Shikamaru groaned and took a bite of his food, his cheeks red like yours, “Some things just make sense and I always thought the two of you were one of those things.”

You laughed awkwardly, unsure of how to proceed when a bird flew in through the open window, saving you from any further conversation. Shikaku stood and retrieved the message from the bird who left the same way it had entered.

“It’s for you, Shikamaru.” He handed the small scroll to him before returning to his seat.

Shikamaru unrolled it and began reading before he sighed, “They moved up the time for the mission, we’re leaving in a few hours, what a drag.”

You all quickly finished your meal, making sure that you helped to clean up before saying goodnight. Shikamaru walked you to the front porch, closing the door behind him. He pulled you in for a hug, arms circling your waist and his head resting on your shoulder as you slowly stroked up and down his back. “Can’t believe we just got together and I have to leave for a mission, how troublesome.” He murmured into your hair.

You laughed, “Well you were fine before we were together, I’m sure you’ll be fine this time as well.” You pulled back and cupped his face, “Just, make sure you come back to me, you know?” You leaned up and kissed him, soft and slow just like he had kissed you earlier.

“Of course,” he kissed your forehead before letting you go. As you walked away, you turned and glanced back. He was leaning against the house watching you, a lit cigarette hanging from his lips and smoke curling around his head. You grinned, shaking your head before you continued on your way, happiness blooming in your chest.

#shikamaru x reader #shikamaru x y/n #shikamaru nara #shikamaru nara x reader #shikamaru fluff #shikamaru x you #shikamaru x (y/n)#shikamaru nara x (y/n)#nara shikamaru #nara shikamaru x reader #naruto imagines #naruto imagine #naruto #anime #reader insert #x reader

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generallybarzy · 3 years

Text

hey there, stranger. vi

one, two, three, four, five

an: two months after you first met mat, you’re back in the same little coffee shop, in much heavier moods than last time. // So after last chapter, i'm sure you're all upset about what's happening to our favorite cute new couple. What began as a cutesly fluffy fic is turning into something a lot more serious and tough. Because all relationships come with hardships, and working through them together is something they're gonna have to do. Another thing, please comment and send asks about this story!! Even though this isn't the biggest fic I've planned so far, I'm putting all my love into these characters and their situations hit close to home, and I'd really appreciate some feedback. warnings: mentions of domestic problems and violence (mostly verbal and mental), relationship doubts, talks of fear and self-worth tagging some lovely people: @sunflowertimothee @deleausvp @dunnwithlyfe @smit41 @softboybarzal @fallinallincurls @matbaerzal @brokeninsidebutnobodyknows @hockeyhughes11 @folkloreflyers @nazdaddy word count: 2.3k

You hadn't always been afraid of love.

But maybe you had, for as long as you could remember.

It began with your parents. They were unhappy, they argued, they fought, they pulled others into their arguments and eventually drew so far from each other that they were distant and cold to even their children. They seperated, violently and in the dead of the night, in the middle of your school year, and threw your life into a rollercoaster. It scared you. Made you feel, even as a young kid, that love just wasn't something that happened. Relationships didn't exist, love didn't exist without violence and arguments and fights. A perfect love was just not what you believed in. And even though it's true that every couple has their arguments, you believed that the fights were common. The yelling, the jealousy, the coldness, the raised voices, the fear.

The last time you truly, honestly were in a relationship, it was your highschool sweetheart. If he could be called that. You were 17 when you got together, you got in trouble together, turned 18 together, and graduated highschool together. He started out amazing, as amazing as teenage boys could get, but somewhere along the way he changed. But looking back now, you could never truly call him your sweetheart, even at his sweetest.

While you were studying endlessly to graduate high school with honors and applying to all the colleges and scholarships you could, your boyfriend was out partying and drawing further and further away, turning cold and careless. And though you hadn’t found out until afterwards, your boyfriend had spent the last six months of your relationship sleeping around with countless other girls behind your back. You didn’t find out until a sweet girl came forward and told you what he’d done, and that she was sorry and didn’t know he was taken.

“He’s not, not anymore.”

You found more proof. He didn’t even try to hide it, but you were too busy with school to notice all his tagged posts on Instagram, all the pictures of him openly kissing other girls while you foolishly had his name and a heart in your bio. You felt humiliated. When you finally confronted him, he laughed. As if he didn’t care that you found out. As if he was proud. “Maybe,” he looked at you with absolute lack of care in his eyes, “Maybe if you weren’t so fucking prude and put out a little more, I’d still care about you!”

The only thing you did right in that relationship was to break it off right there. You’d think, after saying he didn’t care about you, he’d leave. But even after you walked out that door for the last time, his number was one that constantly popped up on your phone. “Wow, running away like always, huh? Fucking bitch.” “No wonder no one wants you” “Always such a clingy bitch but never wanted to fuck. Maybe if you would’ve slept with me I wouldn’t have to find other girls to satisfy me.” “You did this to yourself.” He’d send you pictures of himself with the other girls, taunting, saying “This is what you’re missing out on.” He’d flaunted the fact that he cheated on you, as if wanting to humiliate you. As if it’s what you deserved.

And, for a long time after it ended, you believed him.

Did you think Mat was like that? Deep down, no. But something made you fearful to open up to any man ever again after what happened. You’d truly loved someone, as blind as you were, and it all blew up in your face, and now, you were convinced love only ended with a broken heart.

Mat sat across from you now, in this familiar little coffee shop, his eyes heavy and his brows furrowed in worry, his bottom lip pulled between his teeth as he watched you. His hair was the same as when you woke up tangled together this morning, dark and unruly after his morning skate, and he sat with his big hands resting on the table, just inches from your own, playing with his fingers- a nervous habit that you realized as of late and loved. Watching him scratch his wrists and crack his knuckles and fumble with his fingers was a strange sort of calming, and made you want to hold his hands in yours and kiss each joint and feel his skin against yours in that wholesome, comforting way. But he didn't reach out. He thought he did something wrong. He thought he ruined your relationship. He thought it was his fault.

“That's not how I imagined our first morning together would go.” He gave a sad smile, always one to try and lighten the mood, while his mind drifted to the daydreams he had had of waking up surrounded by your warmth and your arms and getting to kiss and snuggle into you before practice. He had always dreamed of that. The softness, the domesticity, it's what he craved. But before you could find the words to make it right, his voice dropped and shook. "So, our first 'talk', huh? What did I do?"

You couldn't find the words, and you just dropped your gaze to the table. His sad eyes made you feel so bad. "I'm so sorry, Mat."

"Why'd you run off?" The fear in his voice was enough to make your throat squeeze tight. He shouldn't feel this way. You really didn't deserve him.

"I just…" your mind raced to find an explanation for yourself. "I freaked out."

"About what? Help me understand. So we can fix it. Let me fix it, please." You looked up again, thinking you owed him at least your attention. His hazel eyes were glossy and as beautiful as always, searching yours for an answer, any answer, and you wanted nothing more than to tell him how amazing he was, to tell him this wasn't his fault. Someone as amazing as him should never feel pain. But you knew you had to open up to him.

"Listen." You reached your hands out on the table, centimeters from his own, and stopped just short of his fingertips, focusing your eyes on the smooth surface of the table. "You have so much love in you." You began. "That's one of things that I asked Rebecca for, remember? A big heart." You glanced up for only a brief moment to see his lips turn up a bit. "I need someone with a big heart, and I thought I could handle it right now, but…" When you trailed off, Mat spoke up softly, carefully, hesitant to interrupt you, but desperate for an answer.

"You can't handle me? Am I too overwhelming? We can slow down, even back up if you want-."

"Mat-"

"We don’t need to hang out as much as I’ve been trying to-”

“-Mat-”

“I'm sorry. I'm sorry for interrupting you. And for being overwhelming."

There was no hint of sarcasm in his voice like there was in your exes, not judgement, no daggers, only pure care and genuine sorry. He hadn't raised his voice at you once, hadn't yelled at you for leaving a cold, empty hole next to him this morning like your ex would have. You found it refreshing to have a man speak to you so calmly, so gently, and carefully, and you realized that the last thing Mat wanted to do was mess this up.

And you felt the same.

He was quiet now, after his little outburst, waiting for you to say anything. "Maty," his eyes shot up to yours at the sound of his nickname leaving your lips. You chose your words carefully, as carefully as Mat handled your emotions, as if one wrong word could shatter something amazing. "You're not overwhelming. You're amazing. It's me, it's my fault I can't handle it." There it is, Mat mused to himself, The 'it's not you, it's me'.

"No, don't say that..."

"Listen…" I've been hurt before. I'm sure you have too, but I got messed up." Mat let out an upset little huff, his eyes going even more soft and watching you gently, as if he wanted to make it all better and erase any memories of pain from your past relationships. "The only other guy I was ever seriously with… he made me feel like shit. Like I'm… unworthy of love."

"You're not." He spoke up fast, urgent, but delicate.

"I feel like I don't deserve how amazing you're being."

"Stop, (Y/N), please. Just shush." Mat shook his head, absolutely heartbroken you hear your confession. "I know what it's like to be hurt, shit, do I know. But you deserve so much better than any of your exes have given you. I know that."

Your throat was suddenly tight at his reassuring words. "He hurt me, a lot. I'm still so broken because of him. He humiliated me, made me afraid. Of men, of relationships, of love. It hurts, Mat… It hurts to try and love again when I've loved so hard and only known broken ends. It's hard for me to trust people, and it's so, so scary to jump into a relationship like this." You glanced up momentarily to meet his gaze, feeling absolutely embarrassed to be spewing all of this dramatic sob-story to him.

"You're not…? (Y/N), baby," he whispered, shaky, as if it might be the last time he called you that,, as if by tomorrow you'd be nothing more than strangers again.. "You're not… breaking up with me, are you?" Before you could respond, Mat continued one, as if he didn't want to hear the answer that he automatically assumed would be bad. "If you are, if you need some space or some time away from dating, that's alright, I'll respect that. But I think we can work this out. I'm willing to try."

For a second, you imagined going back to being single again after everything Mat had given you. You would never be able to forget him, forget what was, and what could’ve been. So you shook your head.

"No, Maty. I don't want to break up."

"Fuck, oh, thank god." He finally smiled, releasing the breath he didn't even realize he'd been holding all day.

"The reason I freaked out so bad this morning, it wasn't the kiss, not really the cuddles either. I enjoyed those, even though they were a little awkward, being our first time and all…" you shared a little smile at that, at the memory of the first time you'd curled into each other and giggled and squirmed and talked, the most intimate moment of your relationship so far. "I like being with you, I just freaked because…. Well, Mat, I don't even know if you remember, 'cause you were asleep, but last night you said you love me."

It was a few long, quiet seconds, watching him process it in his mind, the look in his eyes going even more worried. His eyes widened as he sighed a nervous breath of air. "Shit, I did?" He reached up for a moment to scratch the back of his neck and his cheeks went a little red as he scrambled for his words. "I, uhh, heh." He let out an awkward, forced laugh. "I didn't mean for you to know so soon. I'm sorry."

"You don't need to be sorry about how you feel."

"Yeah, then neither do you." His fingertips grazed over the cool surface of the table and up to your warm hands, slowly, carefully, asking for permission. When you didn't flinch away or tense up, you felt his hands cup your own, and there, cradled in the palm of his hand, you felt okay. "You don't need to feel bad about panicking at that. That's a big thing I said, even I can understand that. We can back up a bit. Maybe I'm pushing too hard to force feelings. Let's just take it easy, alright? Just hang out casually a little longer before calling this a relationship. Just see where things go. That sound better?"

You shook your head, and Mat's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, wondering what else he could suggest. "No, Mat, I'm not suggesting we step back from this relationship. I still want to be with you, I promise. I still want to be your girlfriend."

His head dipped down shyly as he grinned at the table, still overjoyed at the thought of being with you. "I still want to be your boyfriend." He squeezed your hands in excitement, in content.

And you squeezed back.

"Good."

You knew Mat wouldn't kiss you, not before having that conversation about your boundaries, so you lifted his big hand to your lips and pressed a little kiss against one of his knuckles. He watched, his eyes wide and a content smile on his face, and slowly brought your own hand to his lips, reciprocating the appreciation.

"Well…" he spoke gently, lips moving against your skin. " Then what do you want to do? Continue as we were? Slow it down a little?"

"Just a little. I just needed you to know what you're dealing with with me. How scared I am to try this out again."

"Baby, we've all got our histories. Trust me, I would know. We all need different things in a relationship, okay? I'm not going to judge you for them. If your heart needs to be handled carefully, I can take it."

"Thank you."

"Can I kiss you?"

"Please."

And so, he leaned across the table and cupped one of your cheeks with a big hand, his fingers still tangled with yours, and pulled you into the sweetest, gentlest kiss you'd ever felt. From the moment you brushed noses, a smile lit up your face. And in that kiss, you could feel his promise. That he'd treat you better than your exes, that he'd give you what you deserve, gently, carefully, and with your heart in mind. And you brought your hands up to trace his jaw, promising the same thing back.

"So," he smiled as he sat back down, cheeks pink from the kiss. "That last thing I want to do right now is rush this, but I uh, I got you a ticket for our next home game. Call it an early Christmas present. I was planning on introducing you to my friends afterwards, but I feel like you're not ready for that." He smiled, showing you that it was no big deal for him. He was adaptable. If you needed a change, it was easy. "It'd mean a lot to me to have you there, if you want to come?"

He still wanted you there with him even after you showed him just how broken you were. And you still wanted to be there, support him, share the passion he had for hockey. Watch him do what he loves.

You smiled, your thumb drawing gentle hearts on the back of Mat’s hand.

"There's nothing I want more."

#mat barzal #mat barzal x reader #reader insert #mathew barzal #fic #nhl fanfiction #nhl x reader #hey there stranger #op

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stan-joonies · 5 years

Text

The Difference Between His Blood Singer and His Mate

Requests are open!

[[MORE]]

Y/N strut down the halls, an easy going smile on her face as people peered at her enviously.

On her right, their arms linked, was her boyfriend, Edward Cullen. The man that introduced her to a world of vampires and shifters and so much more. The one who promised her eternal life once she was 23.

Her eyes caught the new girls and scanned her. The girl was definately at the very least average looking.

Her hair went to her shoulders, clips keeping her messy fringe from falling into her dark, muddy brown eyes. Her eyebrows thin and sad.

She felt Edward stiffen beside her.

"Edward?"

The vampire didn't look her way, instead they were latched onto the New Girl's, who looked back at him in interest.

She looked up, her e/c eyes widening when she spotted Edward's were black.

"Edward," She mumbled, getting infront of him and grabbing his face. "Edward! Come on!" She shook his head gently in his hands. His eyes finally found hers, slowly fading back into gold.

"I--"

"I know, you're ok. Lets take a walk, biology can wait." She grasped his hand, pulling him forcefully away and out of the building.

Over the next few weeks, she realised a difference in Edward.

At first, it was as tiny as no longer paying attention or zoning out of conversations. Then it was the staring. His eyes never left Bella's. His thoughts seemed to be somewhere else.

Edward also seemed very protective of the girl, which annoyed her in a way she was uncomfortable with.

She was Edwards mate, his one and only. Destined to be together. Bella Swan was a blood bag, a distraction. Someone that as soon as they lost all blood, attraction would cease.

But Edward seemed to forget the differences between the titles. He befriended Bella. Walked her to class, laughed at her jokes. Would even cancel on her to spend time with the brunette.

Whispers began to start up. Talking about Edward cheating. How the two were spotted snogging in the halls. How her and Edward broke up.

Frankly, she had enough.

Her tray slammed onto the metal table. Earning curious looks from students.

"What!" She exclaimed, glaring at all her nosey classmates.

She plopped down angrily, picking at her food.

She looked up at the pale faces.

"Y/N," Alice called, indicating towards Jasper, his face scrunched up painfully.

"Sorry..." She took a large breath, her eyes closing. "I just--"

Rosalie put a hand on her shoulder.

"We know." She assured.

"It's fine, Bella's just an appetizer, you're dessert!" Emmett shrugged, grinning at the human.

"Well...he's never had a sweet tooth," Y/N growled.

"Where is our dearest brother?"

"Don't know. Wherever Bella is,"

"You should go find him," Alice said, a pitying look on her face.

Y/N's eyes widened before she scowled.

"Alice...what did you see?"

Alice shook her head, her eyes darting to her hands.

"Go to his locker..."

She was up in a flash, storming past the tables and out of the cafeteria, Smoke flowing from her ears.

"I just...she keeps glaring at me Edward!" Bella yelled, her hands on her head. "It's so unsettling."

Edward laughed slightly.

"It's fine, Y/N doesn't like new people,"

"I can tell," she huffed, edging closer. "I'm just getting annoyed of these secret meetings..."

"They aren't secret. Everyone knows we have them."

"Everyone except Y/N." Bella giggled when Edward looked away.

"I just need to figure things out..." He muttered.

"What's to figure out," She slowly wraps her arms around his neck. "You like me Edward, you're drawn to me. You said it yourself. Don't let her control your feelings," She leaned in, their lips inches from locking.

"Excuse me," Y/N swooped in, her arm locking with Edwards and shoving him back. "I have to talk to Edward. You can have a snog fest after,"

Without waiting for a reply, Y/N directed Edward out of the building, her face red in anger.

"What was that?" Y/N exploded, turning to face him.

"It's nothing," Edward explained, taking a step closer.

"Nothing!?." She screeched. "You almost kissed a girl you've know for a month. Bearing in mind you've known me for two fucking years!"

Edward placed a cool hand on her shoulders.

"You don't get to touch me!" She flinched away from his hands.

"Y/N, you have to understand...Bella is--"

"A blood bag!" She yelled, looking around to make sure nobody was near before lowering her voice. "You're attracted to her blood Edward, not her. I'm your mate, someone who you're ment to be with. Bella is someone you're ment to feed off of and enjoy!"

"Don't talk about her like that!" Edward fumed, crossing his arms.

"I will talk about her how i like Edward!" She growled. "You need to get your head out of your arse and start noticing the differences between love bound by fate and love of something so fickle as blood," the human hissed. "And until you figure it out, I'm not wasting my time with someone who is distracted by a manipulative little girl!"

Edward scoffed, running a hand through unruly hair.

"So this is it? Two years together and you're breaking up with me?"

"Don't make me out to be the bad guy Edward! How can you expect me to be with someone who is fooling around with another girl?"

"We aren't fooling around!" He defended, his hands moving in his frustration.

"Really? Well, until you decide whether you want me or her, we're on a break,"

The girl turned on her heels, walking away from the scene.

The news travelled fast of their split, people still looked her way, but instead of in wow or jealousy, it was to mock her.

She kept her head held high though, refused to cave under their stares. She did the right thing. She didn't regret it.

She still spoke to the Cullens , but often Bella was there, Edward's arm wrapped around her shoulders.

Rosalie hated her, glared at her and ignored Edward too, Emmett didn't stop her, neither did he glare at them.

Jasper tried to be supportive, maybe it was for the best. But he couldn't help but scowl when he caught the emotions Bella was feeling: smug, victorious, proud.

Like she had just won a prize.

Edward brushed it off, ignoring his brother's warnings.

Alice was confused, she tried to see what Bella's future was like, Edward was never in them. She kept it to herself though. Not wanting to hurt anyone. She was less excepting of Bella. It wasn't obvious to Bella, but someone close to Alice, like Jasper, picked up on the reluctance she felt when Bella sauntered to the table.

Y/N wasn't seen after a while, stopped going to school for a week. People began to worry. Wondering if the frail girl was so heartbroken that she took her own life. The very idea but a heavy weight on Edward's heavy heart.

Then she showed back up.

She seemed...happier. she smiled at people as she walked passed, a genuine, welcoming smile.

People began to flock her, warming up to her and wanting to be friends, she earned quite a good few looks from the other males in the school too, which she soaked up.

She began to find a new crowd, away from the supernatural. Away from the danger and immortality.

It was going so well, until it wasn't.

Bella was in a car crash, her body was found too late. She died young.

Although she wasn't Y/N's favourite person, nobody should have to die so young.

She felt even worse when she saw Charlie Swan.

A child should bury their parents. A parent should never bury their child.

She paid respects to her, not apologising, but giving her flowers before silently reading the letters engraved into stone repeatedly before getting up and walking away, never speaking a word.

Edward tried to talk to her. He always came up to the beauty, trying to start conversation, but he was always ignored, something that pained him deeply.

People couldn't help but throw Edward dirty looks.

He left his girlfriend for a girl he knew for only a month, then when his new girlfriend dies tragically in a car crash, he turns to his Ex for comfort.

You assured them it wasn't happening.

"Y/N!"

Said girl rolls her eyes.

"What, Cullen?"

Edward ran infront of her, halting her escape.

"Can you let me talk for one sec?"

Y/N scowled.

"Five minutes, go,"

Edward sighed.

"Look, I know what i did was wrong and i should have realised, but i got so confused and--"

"You are hundreds of years old Edward. You should know the difference between love and rare steak,"

'I know!!"

"But thats not even the main reason I'm angry. I gave you time to think Edward, i thought you would use that time to take a step back and evaluate the situation. Instead you immediately prance around with that girl, showing her off like a peacock shows its feathers!" Her fingers pointed at his chest. "Don't act like you're a good boy for realising. Cause i know for a fact that if she hadn't died then you would of never realised and would still be at her beck and call!"

Edward grit his teeth.

"What am i ment to tell you! I'm trying to fix things! It's what you want!"

Scoffing, Y/N crossed her arms.

"You think I'm going to crawl to your feet again? After your girlfriend just died? I'm not that shallow and disrespectful!"

"I thought you hated her?"

"No, do i hate how she acted? Yes. Do i hate that you chose her over me? Yes. But i don't hate her. I have a strong dislike for the girl. But that doesn't mean I'm going to go straight back into the cold ass arms of the man she thought loved her as soon as she dies!"

Edward sifted a hand through his thick locks.

"What do you want me to say!?"

"Sorry!" Y/N bellowed, face red. "Thats all i wanted. You can keep knocking on my Door Edward Cullen, but i never will answer."

She turned on her heel, walking away from her mate, her destined partner.

The sad truth was...she knew she'd take him back. It was destiny for them to be mates. Fate had chose to pair them together.

It was something she couldn't control.

Eventually she would open the door.

Letting all the vampires and Werewolves and demons and danger back into her life.

She knew it couldn't be helped.

But she'd be damned if she let her just walk in.

No, he needs to go back to her on his hands and knees, begging.

#Twilight #twilight x reader #twilight #Cullen #edward cullen #bella swan #jealousy #mates #blood singer #heartbreak #angst #loss #death #character death #edward cullen x reader

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chalantness · 6 years

Note

I'm dropping by again. It was 5am and something popped up. Okay, so here's a "concept" I love: Steve and Natasha pining for each other in any universe, the sexual tension™️ you could cut with a knife, the not-so-occasional glance at each other's lips, the multiple almost kisses. One day standing so close they can feel each other's chest rising and falling, the vERY obvious stare at the other's lips now that they're standing so close, finally yielding to desire, giving in; then a semblance […]

[…] of consciousness arises “We shouldn’t do this" (or anything really) as the other breaks the sentence up with a kiss (of course they wouldn’t mean what they’re saying). Breaking away finally and saying “No, we really shouldn’t” but still they go on and kISS. Also, coming back to the height difference, Steve cupping Natasha’s face with both hands, she standing on her toes, his eyebrows furrowing into the kiss. There’s really no point to this but I thought I’d share. Anyways thanks for […]

[…] bearing with me and my random stevenat feels. (Sorry I’m literally sending 3 asks in a row too) – cyn

@evanzski

Okay we all know that fluff is my number one BUT PINING WITH A HEAVY DOSE OF SEXUAL TENSION IS PROBABLY MY NUMBER TWO???

This really needs to stop happening.

And, no, nothing is really happening - and she’s certain that’s their problem to begin with. They dance the line between nothing and everything happening all at once, and she’s not quite sure if she can catch her breath long enough to not fall over the edge.

But this? This thing where they almost kiss? Where Steve is standing in her space - close, always too damn close, and also never close enough? Where his breath is warm and tingling against her skin and his gaze is a heavy trace over her lips?

This thing where she isn’t sure if she wants to tug him close or shove him away? Where she wants to lean up and fucking kiss that smirk away?

It needs to stop.

(except if it does, she may be just a little bit heartbroken)

They’re fighting over a cereal box - and by fighting, she means that they’ve been trading quips back and forth as they move about the kitchen in a fluid sort of grace she’s certain you can’t choreograph. They’re fixing themselves dinner - breakfast for dinner because yes, that’s a thing that Steve introduced her to one night, after a particularly grueling mission, and she’ll lie through her teeth about loving it.

They’ve been nudging each other out of the way, just to be difficult, just because they can and they always are with each other, and Steve grabs the cereal box a second before she can get to it and holds it over his head because he’s an ass. Her butter knife still has strawberry jam smudged on one side when she holds it to his throat, and he fucking laughs at her, gives the box a little shake.

And then his gaze drops to her lips.

And then her breath gets caught in her throat.

And then she stretches just a little more on her toes, bringing their chests together, bringing their faces closer. Her grip grows slack around her knife. His arm lowers ever so slightly, gaze sliding up to her eyes.

They’re standing in the middle of Clint and Laura’s kitchen. She can hear the kids playing outside, fucking ecstatic that their dad’s finally come home. They don’t know about the incarceration, and then the escape. They don’t know that Daddy and Aunt Natasha and Uncle Steve spent the last six months in a jungle utopia no one knew existed, negotiating treaties and wearing down politicians. They don’t know about the blood and sweat and tears that happened to get their dad home, free and clear.

They just know that he’s home, and it’s all that matters.

(They’re all home. And that’s all that matters.)

“We shouldn’t,” she starts, glancing toward the front porch. She’s not sure if she means they shouldn’t here in the kitchen. Or if they shouldn’t when they haven’t talked things out. Or if they shouldn’t because they - just really shouldn’t.

But she doesn’t get to figure it out. Because he drops the box, and then his lips are on hers a second before she hears it fall to the ground in a muted thud. His hands are gentle and warm and calloused as they cup her cheeks, his thumbs stroking over her flushed skin, and the butter knife slides from her hand, clattering to the tile as she fists his shirt and stretches on her toes.

She kisses him harder, kisses him deeper. She kisses him until her head is spinning, her lungs burning, her heart hammering.

And then he yanks his head back, so abruptly that it startles her, and she blinks to find his eyebrows furrowed, his gaze still fixed on her lips.

“No, we really shouldn’t,” he says, not an ounce of sincerity behind his words, and she hooks a hand over the back of his neck and pulls his lips over hers again. He groans, and she whimpers, and then he’s pressing her against the front of the fridge and squeezing her hips.

“We shouldn’t,” he rasps, and she smiles, because she knows a challenge when she hears it.

“We should,” she counters, nipping at his lip.

“We should.”

#romanogers #steve rogers #natasha romanoff #chanty writes #chanty replies #evanzski

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inceptiverider · 4 years

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Chapter 4: Dreams—

Feels like I'm falling, into a world. Into a world, I can't control. I hear it calling, down in my soul. Gripping my bones, it won't let go. Wake me up, won’t you wake me up. I'm caught in a bad dream, caught in a bad dream. Wake me up, I wanna feel the sun.

I'm caught in a bad dream, caught in a bad dream. Feels like I'm frozen, nowhere to run. Nowhere to run, from here.

These walls are closing, closing me in. Wearing me thin, with fear.

——

“Evie, what do you want to be when you grow up?”

Mama tucked me in, pushing the comforter under me tightly. Snug as a bug in a rug. It never made sense to me, even when I was eight. Was a bug really snug in a rug? But it made me laugh every time. Mama always made me laugh without trying.

“A singer. Like the girl on TV.” I smiled so big, knowing that someday I would be the girl I watched on TV every day. Not the ones that were always half naked and always looked like they had rainbows coming out of their asses. The girl that had ripped up shorts and sang like it was all they had. Like all I had.

My mama’s smile was the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen. “Evie, if that’s what you want. You’ll have to work really hard, can you do that?”

Nodding my little head, a yawn escaping pouty little lips. “Mmmmhmmm, yes mama.”

Already falling asleep, the world fading away. A little girl, dreaming of the day she’ll be the star she longed to be.

••••

Eve laughed softly, a dainty palm covering her wide grin. She was sitting next to Kaleb, her thighs over his lap a bottle of coors light resting on his legs. It was the night after they met, and Kaleb was already in love. She brought the bottle to her lips, taking a swig.

“Tell me more about why you’re here.” His lips spread into a wide grin, a palm dropping to rest against Eve’s thigh — slipping a finger under a string of her fish nets.

She set the bottle against her thighs, running an index finger along the rim. “Well, it’s a long complicated story...” Blunt teeth nip her bottom lip, looking as if she was hiding something. “But short version, for my cousin. I’ll be here until she leaves.”

It was hard to remember she wasn’t real, that she was just part of the park. Seeming to genuinely care about her family. They were all she talked about, that and music. The way she talked about them was so /real/, so full of love. She said she lost her mother when she was sixteen, and she seemed heartbroken still. If she wasn’t real how would she know loss the way she does?

One of Kaleb’s palms found her cheek, a thumb running over her unblemished skin. “I’m not leaving your sight until you leave.”

Her face lit up, like she was excited that he wanted to be with her. How could she not be real? He kept telling himself she was real as he brought his lips to hers, kissing her for the first time.

Her lips felt real. Soft. Parting her lips with his, letting his tongue explore hers. Her tongue felt real. This felt /real/. It had to be.

••••

Sixteen, never been kissed. My birthday, my first big party in my dad’s garage, Grazer Automotive. I asked him one day why he named the shop after the family; he explained that someday, it would all be mine and my cousins. “What if I don’t want to be a mechanic?”

“You don’t have to be. Hire people to take care of the company, and the company will take care of you, Eve. That’s all I want for you. For all of you. Is to always be taken care of, and to take care of each other.” Dad said.

The wide grin spread over my unblemished features didn’t leave the entire night. The shop was mine until midnight, the latest my parents have ever let me be out. Laughter and music filled the shop as we danced, my best friend Kimber and Taylor by my side. I couldn’t have my party without my cousin, forcing my dad to drive to Charming just to pick her up.

Dad had set up the garage with a stage so my band and I could play. My first “gig” if you would call my own birthday party a gig, and I did. Everything counted to me.

It was approaching ten P.M. when my father came into the shop, and I turned to him asking why he was there. That was when I noticed his expression, the same one I hadn’t seen since the day he told Taylor and me that her dad killed himself.

“Dad, what happened?” My heart started racing, tears pooling at the corners of my blue eyes. I knew before he said the words...

“Eve... Your mom... She’s dead, baby...”

There’s not much of a party after you find out your mother died from an overdose.

••••

“/Kaleb/!” Eve screeched, slapping at his ass as he threw her over his shoulder. “Let me down!”

Her laughter was contagious, having Kaleb laugh along with her while he carried her to where his future brother in law was sitting. A random host currently slipping her palm inside his jeans. Something he hadn’t mentioned to Eve... Feared mentioning to her. What if she got upset? What if she left and never wanted to speak to him again? He couldn’t chance it.

“Kaleb, don’t get attached.” His brother in law looked at him pointedly.

Letting out a sigh, deciding it wasn’t a good idea to sit with the guy, wandering into the house we were using instead. Plus, the host was two seconds away from sucking his brother in law off, and he didn’t want to watch. Not his thing.

“Kaleb, I can walk! Let me down!”

He sat her down on the kitchen table with a laugh.

“You were being too adorable, couldn’t let you go.

She rolled her pretty blue eyes, lithe arms slipping over his neck — pulling him into her. “I’m not a fan of cheese...”

Her lips twitched into a smirk as her lips met his. His hips grinding into her pelvis.

“Seems your a fan plenty..” He groaned into her lips as she laughed into his.

“Maybe a little.”

Kaleb was quick to slip her shorts and fish nets off while she unbuttoned and unzipped him with ease. ‘She’s not real. She’s not real. She’s not real.’

He could hear his brother in laws voice in the back of his head. But as he slid his cock home, all he could think about was how real she felt. How she was his.

Only his.

••••

Twenty six, molly popped, whiskey shot. It’s time for another amazing night out. I step onto the stage, brown hair framing my face; six inch boots tapping on the floor as I approach the mic. “Check one... Check one two... Check your ass Gary.” Laughs softly, pulling the mic off of the stand. “Let’s go!” The band started playing, music filling the crowded bar in Hollywood.

“I've been doomed from the start, even verything around me falls apart. So quickly, always end up with a broken heart. Even Tylenol can't fix me...Unless it's mixed with whiskey.”

Delicate fingers ran through my strands with my free hand, remembering the moment I found out my mom overdosed on coke. She was beautiful, a model. Blonde curly locks ran all the way to her butt, with blue eyes as clear as the sky. Dad met her when he came to LA for a weekend out with his friends, he said that she was the most beautiful women he’d ever met. But that’s really what all men that are hopelessly in love say, at least I hope so. I’d never been in love.

“I ain't even sad, I'm just bored. Nothing can excite me anymore like you used to..Hollywood has lost all its allure, used to be so pretty, now it's just a city.”

The band picked up and I couldn’t help but think of how hard I’ve worked not to become my mother, to stay away from cocaine because it will ruin your fucking life. Molly wasn’t like coke, it wasn’t... I control when I take it, I don’t let it control me. And pot, c’mon it’s legal now. I’m nothing like my mother.

“All of these people and all of their friends, look so good together and I don't fit in. 'Cause they're picture perfect, and I'm on the end. Crop me out the photo so they can pretend.. Like I don't exist. Like I don't exist, don't exist.

Like I don't exist, no... Like. I. Don’t. Exist. No...No... no.”

My phone buzzed in my back pocket but it would have to wait. The crowed was dancing, I was slinging at the top of my lungs and didn’t want to stop. I never wanted to stop. Singing was all I had anymore. Singing and...

“When I feel good it never lasts, that's why you can find me living in the past if you need me. Everybody says this shit will pass...I say it won't, they don't believe me. Just tell me to deep breathe.”

Someone holds out a shot for me, and I happily wander over and pluck it from their fingers; holding the glass out to the crowd before downing the liquor. Ew vodka, but I take it like a champ and toss the glass at a waitress on the side to catch. I skip back over to the mic stand, sliding the mic back home; dainty palms wrapped around it.

“Falling apart. Don't know what to do, what to do. Looking for someone to save me, I don't know who...I don't know who.”

I feel my phone buzzing again, this time someone calling me. My set is almost over so I leave it where it is. My head is starting to feel fuzzy, maybe I drank too much before the show. The molly was just starting to kick in, my world was starting to perk up.

Like I don't exist, no... Like. I. Don’t. Exist. No...No... no.

Am I even real? Am I even real? Am I even real? Am I even real? Am I even real? Am I even real? It's hard to tell when I can't feel a fucking thing!”

I’m screaming out the last verse, pulling the mic back out of the stand so I can wander back to the crowd holding the mic out to them so they can sing along with me.

“All of these people and all of their friends, look so good together and I don't fit in. 'Cause they're picture perfect, and I'm on the end. Crop me out the photo so they can pretend, like I don't exist.... no...Like I don't exist...Don't exist. Like I don't exist, no...Like I don't exist. No...”

The music starts to slow down as I walk back to the mic stand, gently putting the mic back; slipping both sides of my hair behind my ears. Whispering the last verse. Wondering if the words were true.

“Am I even real?”

I walk off the stage as the crowed cheers, breathing heavily. Everyone is there to clap me on the shoulder and hug me, but the first thing I do is grab the shot of Jameson that I knew would be waiting for me. Downing the shot, my head swimming with euphoria from the show, and from the drugs and alcohol I’ve consumed tonight.

Smiling over at my band who were talking about how amazing tonight was, that it was our best show yet. My phone was finally in my palm; unlocking it with Face ID. Dad left me a text message to call him, and I had a missed call from him. I called him back, stumbling out to the chilly night air. Southern california didn’t get too cold in the winter, but for us weather pussies, 60 was really feeling like 20 degrees.

“Dad, what’s up?” I listened to him frantically telling me that Chez was in jail, and Taylor was gone with the Mayans. Frantic for dad was his voice deepening a couple extra octaves, making him sound extra badass. Trying to save face I suppose, not wanting to worry me too much. But honestly, after all the death I’ve seen. Nothing was a surprise anymore.

“Yeah, I’ll go... Dad. Calm down, I’ll go check on things.”

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