#i'm exhausted all the time it rules my life i make plans around it and cancel any that are before noon
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SR Leona Kingscholar - Playful Dress Vignette
"Once we got it started"
[Playful Land – Expedition Whale]
Trey: Really now… All the first years are just filled with energy.
Leona: Seriously. They ran around like crazy during the show, and they're still trying to drag me to all the attractions.
Leona: This is just as exhausting as when my nephew tries to tag after me. I've had more than enough.
Trey: Haha… Yeah, this also reminds me of how it is whenever I got to amusement parks with my siblings.
Leona: Thought I'd take a nap on a bench somewhere, but… There's nowhere with a decent amount of shade.
Leona: There's gotta be some place indoors I can relax… Hm?
Leona: This attraction they got here on the map… It doesn't look too terrible. Hey, Trey. Come with me for a bit.
Trey: Eh, me!? I mean, I don't really have any plans, so it's fine, but…
Leona: Good, it's settled. Follow me.
Trey: What in the world… Leona's actually inviting me somewhere!?
[Playful Land – Cue Sports Lounge]
Trey: Oh, this is the billiards hall.
Leona: Yep, this is good. The air conditioner works, and it's quiet and cozy. Just as I thought, it's the perfect spot to chill.
Trey: Ah, I see… You just needed a partner so you could hang here in the sports lounge.
Leona: So, how well do you know the rules of billiards?
Trey: Let me think… I've only played a couple times, but I have a general understanding of the rules.
Leona: Good. That makes my life easier.
Leona: Then… Let's go with the "rotation" variant.
Trey: Rotation…? What's the rules to that? Is that different from "eightball"?
Leona: In rotation pool, you score points based on the number on the ball pocketed.
Leona: The 1 ball scores you 1 point, the 15 ball scores you 15 points… And so on.
Leona: To win, we both try striking the balls and try to reach the points value determined beforehand. That's all.
Trey: Okay… That sounds a tad more difficult than the eightball game I know, where you just have to get the 8 ball in, but it sounds interesting.
Leona: Ordinarily, I'd set the target value to somewhere around 180 points… But it's a pain to try to calculate everything.
Leona: Let's keep this game simple and see who can get the most points in the first rack of 15 balls.
Leona: If you're good, we'll start.
Leona: So, I'm first up. Similar to eightball, we begin with the break shot, but…
Leona: Before I do that, I'll tell you an interesting tidbit about rotation pool.
Trey: Tidbit…?
Leona: Just like eightball, with rotation rules, the balls must be struck in order from the lowest number.
Leona: In other words, in the first half of the game, when there's more balls on the table and it's more difficult, you score less points, and in the later half, when there's less balls and it's easier, you can score higher.
Leona: Even if you have a bad first half, you can still turn things around later, and even if you're winning in the first half, you can lose it all in the end.
Leona: Basically means that even beginners have a shot at winning. Not a bad rule, huh?
Trey: Yeah. Except… Why did you decide to tell me that just now?
Leona: It'd be a pain if you thought I was being unfair just because I got a huge lead in the beginning without explaining everything.
Leona: I'm puttin' in the effort to make it fun for you amateur, too. Be grateful.
Leona: Number 15, left rear pocket.
[clack!!]
[thwump]
Leona: Hm, some of the balls were awkwardly placed, but I made it through somehow.
Trey: Urgh… Y-You won again…!
Leona: Ah, my bad. I completely forgot you were here too. Sorry I was neglecting you.
Trey: Based on how you were talking about it all, I assumed you were pretty good from the get go, but…
Trey: I couldn't keep up with you at all. It ended before I could get in a single point…
Leona: You had me a bit worried that I could lose midway through the game, but once we got it started, it was a complete blowout. Ah, yeah, that was a good game.
Trey: You were worried? Yeah right! You were yawning every time it was my turn.
Leona: So, what do you say, wanna play another round? I can give you a handicap.
Trey: Well, I can't stand for being shown up like this...
Trey: Play one more game with me, Leona. Only… You don't have to give me a handicap.
Leona: Perfect. Alright, we'll set up the break shot.
[Playful Land – Cue Sports Lounge]
Trey: Play one more game with me, Leona. Only… You don't have to give me a handicap.
Leona: Perfect. Alright, we'll set up the break shot.
Leona: Number 8, left rear pocket.
[clack!!]
[thwump]
Leona: Hm, the location of the 8 ball was in a difficult spot, but I got it somehow.
Trey: The score stands at 36 to 0… Even if I still have a chance to turn things around it's still a huge gap. Maybe he'll just carry it all to the end again…
Leona: Safety.
Trey: What's "safety"...?
Leona: It's a call that lets you drive the targeted ball to somewhere other than a pocket, instead of having to change up players.
Trey: I see, so you can move the ball safely without having to make a crazy shot… That's a good strategy.
[clack!!]
Leona: Okay, it's your turn. Make this fun for me, Trey.
Trey: Next… Number 10, right rear pocket.
[clack!!]
[thwump]
Trey: Nice, I sunk the 10 ball as well as the 9 ball. That makes it 36 to 19. You starting to sweat a bit?
Leona: Oh, man, yeah. You've caught up so fast, that I'm sweating like crazy. I might lose, whatever should I do?
Trey: Haha, you're not fooling me, saying it like that while you just lounge in your chair like a king… Number 11, left rear pocket.
[clack!!]
Leona: …That one ain't goin' in.
[thup, thup…]
Trey: Urgh, just like you said. But how did you know it wouldn't go in before you even saw where it was going?
Leona: Hey, come on, now, I may be me, but I still lead the magical shift club, y'know. Seems like you're underestimating what I can do.
Leona: It's easy to tell just by seeing the angle you hit the cue ball with.
Leona: I can figure out which way the ball will go, what it'll hit, and where it'd stop…
Leona: In a game, you always have to stay two moves ahead, lil' Clover. …Now it's my turn.
[clack!! thwump]
Leona: Game and match. Final score is 87 to 33, that's my win.
Trey: I knew it would be like this, but you definitely had me by the tail the whole time. How long have you been playing billiards, Leona?
Leona: Basically since I was a kid. The family chamberlain taught it to me so I wouldn't embarrass myself in social settings. Well...
Leona: Thanks to that, I got pretty good, but back before I enrolled here, I really couldn't enjoy any heated competition.
Leona: Even now, the only one that'll play with me is a bird-brained old man. Nowhere near satisfying.
Trey: A commoner like me can only possibly imagine…
Trey: But with how good you are, I can see how you'd have to hold back in certain gatherings so as to not sour the atmosphere.
Leona: There ain't nothing more boring and annoying than a game where I gotta hold back for my opponent's sake.
Leona: It ends up feeling like my hands and feet have strings tying them down, it's frustrating. Kind of like a puppet.
Trey: …Yeah, I bet. …Then, I'll make sure that I'll become a much better player before the next time we play.
Leona: Hah! The next time we play? Even though you got a beat down by someone who was just trying to pass the time? You're a sucker for punishment.
Trey: Next time, let's invite the other third years. Don't you think Vil or Lilia might be good competition for you?
Leona: Who knows. …But hey, if you think that'll be the case, I'll be eagerly awaiting.
Leona: Eagerly awaiting for the joyful moment where I can watch how you all'd dance for me in your frustrations when you get beaten to a pulp, that is.
Requested by Anonymous.
#twisted wonderland#twst#leona kingscholar#trey clover#twst leona#twst trey#twst translation#twst stage in playful land#mention: vil#mention: lilia
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Thoughts on that ceasefire statement?
So I have several people asking me about this. I do have some thoughts, but you'll have to forgive me, I am only able to engage with this passingly.
I want to make a few things clear: I'm originally from Iraq. I do live in the U.S. now, but I grew up in Iraq. And like most Arabs, the Free Palestine movement is unquestionable for me. I have been an uneqovical supporter of Palestine my whole life. Which means the past couple of weeks have been excruciatingly painful. And the horrifying circumstances of it have taken over almost my every waking moment. That, coupled with my own childhood of living through a war which the past two weeks have been triggered again and again, have really tanked my mental health. I mention this to make clear that I will speak to this question just this once, to articulate some of my thoughts around it. In order for me to do the work for Palestine sustainably which I fully plan on doing, I need space to step away from it. I'm choosing this website with the pretty images to be said online space. So I will not engage in any further discourse after this. Even now, I will engage only as far as my mental capacity will allow. As I'm sure you can understand, I am utterly exhausted, and what little energy I have left is better expended elsewhere. I thank you for your understanding.
I want to start by pointing out something that I unquestionably liked about his statement, because I think it's important and a lot of people won't read this whole thing: His mention of the West Bank. The media attention has focused a lot on Gaza, and rightly so. But Palestinians in the West Bank have been suffering gravely for the past two weeks under the tyrannical rule of the settler colonial Israeli government. You should all go read about this and learn more. Palestinians are getting arrested, kicked out of their homes, being brutalised, harrassed, and murdered. It's starting to get *some* coverage now, but still not enough. This would also be my time to remind you that the West Bank is not at all controlled by H*m*s so like, bitch what's your excuse now?
the gist of my thoughts: Is Hozier a Palestinian freedom rebel? No, absolutely not. Is he a hateful supporter of genocide? Also, no, absolutely not. I think Hozier is a well-intentioned celebrity with passing knowledge of what's happening, a publicity team that curtails his words for better or worse, and who has a lot to lose if he missteps in any direction. Whatever we may think of his actual politics that we can glean from his music is not quite the same as coming out with a very clear statement that could put him, and a lot of the people around him at risk. And I mean that both physical safety and otherwise. I think saying something very overtly pro-Palestine could very well put a target not just on him and his team, but possibly on fans attending his concerts in droves right now, especially since he's in the U.S. right now which is a) not his country and b) the country that's primarily funding this war so like fuck me the pro-zionist sentiments here are still STRONG (I just got egged yesterday at a protest and wearing the keffiyah has genuinely made me fear for my life for the past couple of weeks). This may be disappointing (it is), but I frankly have very little energy left to truly feel disappointed. More than anyone, I would have loved for him to come out, blazing fires in his eyes, carrying the Palestinian flag. But alas, I knew that wouldn't happen except in my wildest dreams. I understand that people want to hold him accountable. But it does feel to me like expending this level of energy on a celebrity whose statement was frankly more nuanced than what even media outlets have said is just not where I'm at. I understand if that's where you're at. But it's not something that I can currently engage with.
This is the extent to which I am able to speak to this at the moment. I am sorry if it's not good enough or extensive enough. There's so much that you can pick at, the framing of it, the specific wording that he used. Again, for better or worse, but I just do not think this conversation is where my currently very limited supply of energy should go to. It is up to you whether this is where you'd like your energy to go <3
I hope you're all well. Sending you all so much love.
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Mr Steve and the Monster Hunter
Here is it! The last chapter of my fic for @bigbangharringrove
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5
Ao3
Steve has a lot of things to say
Chapter 6 - I'm all in
Steve is finally holding Billy in his arms and he doesn’t want to let go. He’s not sure where this urge is coming from but it’s all encompassing and he is not questioning it. His gut is telling him he is where he is supposed to be, and well, his gut has yet to steer him wrong.
Strangely for someone who just spent a week in a coma, he is exhausted and very sleepy. He has no idea what time it is. Daylight is still coming through the open window but he vaguely remembers reading somewhere that the sun sets at different times in different parts of the country and he’s never been to California before.
Billy didn’t say anything when Steve told him he’d missed him, instead he gently wrapped his arms around Steve, careful of his injuries and various bandages. Steve knows he needs to explain, even if his brain still feels a bit scrambled.
“I know what you’re thinking.” Steve lets out a short laugh that makes his chest sting a bit. He brings his hand back up to play with Billy’s hair. “How can I miss someone I barely knew? But I did, Billy. Somehow, I really did. And then… then you were there, alive, somehow even better looking than I remembered, and so fucking full of life… Of course I jumped when you offered to answer my questions.”
“Not like I got the chance to do much of that,” Billy mumbles and Steve can feel his breath on his chest. It feels nice and he wishes they were wearing less clothes and weren’t on a narrow hospital bed so he could feel it more.
Still, he can’t let Billy feel bad for running off when Eleven reached out for help.
“Well that is hardly your fault, is it? Just like what happened to me isn’t your fault.”
Billy sits up at that and pierces Steve with a thunderous look. He looks fierce, and hot as sin, and Steve wants to trace that scar on his cheek with his finger… or his lips. His brain and his heart seem to be fully on board with that plan.
“Billy…” Steve starts, reaching out to take Billy’s hand again, happy when Billy lets him..
“No, Steve.” Billy runs his free hand through his hair with a sigh. “I know better. The rules are there for a reason and I shouldn’t have let you come with us. It was my mission. I knew the risks and—fuck!” Billy looks straight at Steve then, his eyes wet with tears and Steve feels something squeeze his heart at the sight.
“Steve, you nearly died because of me. Because I let my feelings get in the way.”
“Billy…”
“I can’t… I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if something happened to you.” The chuckle Billy lets out is rough and raw. “I'm lucky Max hasn't come after me yet. I keep expecting her to come at me with Cindy to try and detach my head from my body.”
Steve was confused. “Who's Cindy?”
“My ax.”
“Okay...” Steve is sure Billy had a good reason to name his ax Cindy but it’s not relevant at this point. They can talk weapon names later. Steve is so going to ask for a tour of HellGrove when he’s no longer stuck in a hospital bed.
“Hey.” Steve links his fingers with Billy’s. “Forget about Max. And the rules. It’s like Robin said. I’m here. I’m alive.”
“You know, I did wonder how much of that private conversation you heard.”
Steve watches as a pink blush blooms on Billy’s cheeks and it’s the most wonderful thing he’s ever seen in his life.
“Let’s just say I heard Olivia ask you a question and I noticed you didn’t actually answer said question.”
“Jesus, Harrington. Don’t pull punches on my account.”
“You gonna tell me, Hargrove?” If Billy is gonna go back to last names, instead of his usual pet names, Steve is gonna follow suit. It brings back memories of high school posturing and what Steve can now see was Billy pulling his metaphorical pigtails at a time where being queer could get one in a lot of trouble, or worse. One glance shows Steve that Billy is still blushing and the neckline of his HellGrove tee stops Steve from seeing how far down it goes.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Billy says and Steve resists the urge to roll his eyes.
Steve sits up, not paying attention to the slight sting on his chest when he does, damn bandages pulling on his chest hair, as he drags Billy to him by his hand, putting his other hand on the back of Billy’s neck to hold him there.
“Billy, the day after I found out you were alive, I went to see Robin and Heather so Robin could answer some of my questions.”
“I bet you had a few,” Billy chuckles softly.
“Hoo boy, yes I did. Then I even had questions about things I found out that day. About you. About Olivia. Then Robin said you were on your way back and I, um, I kinda freaked out.”
“Why? Steve, I’m not—”
“Oh, um, well, turns out I’m not very good at hiding things from Robin, and she said I definitely needed to have a chat with you or I would regret it.”
The laughter that peels out of Billy surprises them both. Steve thinks he looks so beautiful and happy.
“That’s your first mistake, pretty boy,” Billy says. “You, of all people, should know you can’t hide things from Robin. She always finds out. And if she doesn’t, Heather does.”
“Heather scares me.”
“Oh my god.” Billy is still laughing and Steve wants to keep making him.
“She is fiercely protective of you and I don’t think she likes me very much.”
“Oh. yeah, um, about that…” Billy suddenly looks embarrassed and it’s not what Steve wants. At all.
“I, um, I’d like to change that.” He smiles. “Billy, I know it might seem sudden, since I only found out about you a week ago, but…” Steve stops and looks down at their fingers. Considering what Steve heard of Billy’s chat with Robin in the hallway, he doesn’t think it’s too much of a gamble that Billy will react favorably. Still, he’s been surprised before so it’s always better to make sure.
“But?”
“I had a dream about you the night we met again,” Steve says, before he pulls Billy closer. “A very detailed, very private, kind of dream,” he whispers, his mouth so close to Billy’s he can feel his breath.
“Oh, did you now?” Billy whispers back and their lips are pretty much touching now and Billy’s hands are holding his face and Steve closes his eyes and he nods and then Billy is kissing him and Steve can’t think beyond ‘BillyBillyBillyBillyBilly’.
The kiss feels like everything he didn’t know he wanted and more. Steve feels Billy’s tongue trace the seam of his lips and he opens his mouth and the kiss gets better. Billy is kissing him like he’s something precious, all slow and slick, and it makes Steve moan and once again wish they weren’t on a narrow hospital bed.
Too soon, Billy pulls back. He licks his lips and Steve feels his body shudder at the sight. He definitely wants more of that. Everywhere.
Billy chuckles and Steve realizes he may have said that out loud. He shrugs, then winces because the movement pulls on the bandages and Billy gives him a worried look.
“I’m okay. I wonder when they’ll let me go home. Or, you know, get out of here.”
“What did the doctor say earlier?”
Steve doesn’t ask how Billy knows the doctor came to see him, the guy kinda owns the building after all. “He said they need to run some more tests but I should be allowed out in a couple of days.”
“That’s good.”
Something important suddenly clicks when Steve hears himself talk about going home. “Oh God. Billy, I've been missing work for over a week. How am I going to tell my boss I am suddenly in California?”
“Oh, Max sorted that out for you. You'll have to ask her. When the doctor gives the okay, I'll portal you back to your house and you can, um, you know, go back to your life.”
“That's the second time you've said that to me,” Steve notes, not liking the way Billy is now looking at some point over Steve's shoulder, like he was distancing himself from Steve.
“Is it?” Billy sits back, his hands dropping to the bed.
“Uh huh.” Steve picks Billy's hand again and makes eye contact, locking gaze with Billy. “Billy, I…” Steve smiles. “I don't want to go back to not knowing. I love teaching, don't get me wrong, but I can do that anywhere. But this?” Steve gestures between himself and Billy. “This is way too important. You are too important.”
“Steve…” Billy looks away and tries to get his hand back but Steve holds fast.
“No, I missed my chance in high school because things got fucked up and I didn’t realise it until it was way too late. But now that I know you’re alive? Now that I understand what the things I am feeling really mean? There is no fucking way I’m going back to what I had before.”
“What’s that?” Billy asks, his tone bitter and sad. “A quiet life without monsters? A safe job in a nice school? School moms fawning over you day in and day out? What’s so bad about that life, Steve?”
“Well, for one, if you’re not there with me, I don’t want it.”
“You can’t mean that.” The dejection comes through clearly in Billy’s resigned tone. Steve wonders what happened to Billy to make him believe he doesn’t deserve this and more. He makes a quick promise to himself to spend the rest of his life showing Billy how cherished he is.
“I can, and I do.” He grins at the man he loves, because, yes, there is no other word to explain the warmth filling his chest when he looks at Billy. “It will come to no surprise to you that your daughter isn’t the only one who’s been eavesdropping, not that you and Robin were particularly quiet in the doorway before. Billy, holding you, kissing you, it feels like the last piece of the puzzle finally slotted into place.”
Steve notices the tears rolling down Billy’s cheeks and he can feel his face is wet as well, but he presses on. “You can have this. Have me. I want you to know that I’m all in. If that’s what you want.”
The longing in Billy’s eyes threatens to undo Steve completely and Steve can’t take it anymore. He pulls Billy back to him, once again ignoring the sting on his chest at the movement, and brings their mouths together.
Billy lets out a moan and melts against him. This time Billy ends up on top of Steve, obliterating Steve’s ability to form thoughts beyond ‘ohmygodohmygodohmygod!’ and there is nothing Steve would change about that.
Not even when the nurse rushes in to check on the screeching monitor because Steve’s heart rate is going through the roof.
***
The feeling of a cold arm around his waist pulls Steve from his slumber, the cold chest against his back waking him up a bit more. He shivers when its owner pulls him closer, their legs tangling together.
“Fuck, your feet are freezing!” Steve exclaims sleepily, attempting to move away, but Billy wraps his limbs around him like an overly amorous octopus.
“Sorry, baby. Livi went to the bathroom and got scared of the dark once she woke up fully. We really need to get those nightlights we’ve been talking about to put in the hallway,” Billy says, his lips kissing a trail along Steve’s bare shoulder.
“Mmmm, good idea,” Steve replies, barely listening because the kisses feel too nice. When Billy nibbles on the crook of his neck, Steve lets out a soft moan and, damn, he wants more. He turns around in Billy’s arms, spreadings both hands on Billy’s chest, the tips of his fingers finding the familiar grooves of the scars covering the hard muscles.
Steve moves a hand up to bury in Billy’s hair, the golden curls longer now than they were a year ago, and pulls lightly. He finds Billy’s lips in the dark and licks into his mouth, swallowing Billy’s needy grunt. Steve starts a slow grind against the thigh Billy slotted between his legs as the kiss gets sloppy.
He lets out a loud groan when he feels Billy’s hardening cock against his. Billy squeezes his ass in warning.
“Shhhh, Stevie, not so loud, you’ll wake the baby,” Billy whispers as he ends the kiss to nip at Steve’s jaw.
Steve bites his lip to stop the whimpers as Billy moves to his neck, licking the spot he knows full well makes Steve melt. “Billy, baby, you’re really not helping,” Steve bites out, trying to stay quiet when Billy pushes him onto his back and straddles him. “Fuck…”
Billy’s throaty chuckle against his ear hits Steve right in the dick. “That’s the idea, pretty boy.” He punctuates that with another nibble on his neck and a hard grind of his hips.
Steve grabs Billy’s thighs with both hands and digs his fingers in. “Billy!” he warns with an urgent whisper, knowing full well it will only spur Billy on. Billy rolls his hips again, making Steve gasp.
“You fucker!”
“Aww, baby, don’t be like that,” Billy says against Steve’s collarbone as he sucks a hickey Steve knows he will need to hide under a high-collared shirt tomorrow. “You know I’ll make you feel good,” Billy adds, hands snaking between them, fingers tangling in the thick mat of Steve’s chest hair.
Steve knows what’s coming and he is powerless to stop it. Billy pulls and Steve’s hips arch off the bed, his teeth biting down on his bottom lip in a mammoth effort to stay quiet. Steve knows exactly what look Billy is giving him right now even if it’s too dark to actually see it. That look that says he’s proud of himself but only getting started…
“Billy, please…” Steve isn’t sure what he’s asking for, but if the past year loving this man has taught him anything, it’s that Billy will deliver.
“I got you.” Billy gets off of him then and Steve feels the loss of his weight on him keenly.
A shudder goes through Steve when he feels Billy’s hands on his hips, sliding in towards his crotch, and he spreads his legs to accommodate his boyfriend. He bites down on a moan when Billy settles between his thighs.
“Shhhh,” Billy whispers as he mouths Steve’s hard dick over his pants and Steve slams a pillow over his face because there’s no way he can stay quiet, especially not when Billy reaches under the waistband of his pajama pants, his fingers extracting Steve’s dick and giving it a squeeze.
“Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck,” Steve whispers, panting already, and trying—really trying—to make as little noise as possible.
When Billy licks a stripe from root to tip, Steve’s free hand grabs the bedding next to him, clutching the sheet with desperate fingers.
When Billy sucks on the head of his cock, Steve’s breath stutters, then his entire body bows from the effort to stay quiet when Billy takes him all the way down.
It’s too much, too wet, too tight, too warm, too good, and Steve knows he’s not gonna last very long, not with the way Billy is going to town on his dick from the word go. Steve wishes there was more light in the room so he could watch because it’s a sight he never tires from.
He feels Billy’s fingers leave his hip and slide inward, brushing past his balls, then further south. The moment Billy’s fingertips touch his rim, it’s all over. The fingers digging into his hip are the only thing anchoring him to the bed as Steve bites down on the pillow he’s still holding over his face in an attempt to keep from waking up everyone on their street.
He’s only vaguely aware of Billy climbing up his body and removing the pillow, allowing him to catch his breath. He’s pretty sure Billy sucked his soul through his dick and somehow melted every bone in his body as well.
“You okay, pretty boy?” Billy asks and Steve can hear his grin.
“Uh huh.” Steve can’t make words right now, he’s pretty sure his brain leaked out his ears or something. RIP last brain cell.
Billy wraps one arm around him, pulling him close, and Steve manages to roll onto his side to rest his head on Billy’s chest. He hums happily, his fingers playing idly with the scar on Billy’s chest.
“Billy?” Steve asks, breaking the comfortable silence they are lying in. He's glad they didn't wake the baby up. He doesn’t regret offering Robin and Heather a weekend off parenting so they could get a break, but keeping the noise down when Billy does unspeakable things to him is exhausting.
“Yeah?”
“Do you think…?”
Steve stops then, trying to articulate the thought he just had, even though his brain wants to sleep because he just had an orgasm and it's the middle of the night.
“What is it?”
“Do you think you'd want to get married on a beach?”
“Pretty boy?” Billy asks, his hand stopping mid stroke on Steve’s arm.
“I mean, I know it's not legal or anything, not yet anyway, but one day…”
“If that's your proposal, it needs work, princess.”
Steve drops a kiss on Billy's chest. “Nah, just wondering. When I propose to you, you'll know for sure.”
“What if I propose to you first?”
THE END
I did some doodles for this fic, because I could... (chapter 1 and chapter 4)
#harringrove#billy hargrove#steve harrington#billy x steve#harringrove big bang#harringrove bigbang#harringrovebigbang#dragonflylady77#mr steve and the monster hunter
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Happy Wetnessday
My brain is tired today so I'm gonna give you some facts to your relationship with King Curtis and you tell me how you guys met. This may be slightly inspired by your Curtis blurb from a few days ago
- he's a just ruler but can be brutal if needed but never with you. With you he's the softest (except in bed )
- you merntion something once and he does everything in his might to get it for you, including getting a delivery of your favourite fruits from your previous kingdom
- he frequently goes on rides with you, he even got you your very own white horse to contrast his black stallion
- he takes you everywhere he needs to go nd if he can't take you he writes lettersdaily and brings you a souvenir
So how did you meet?
xoxo Wetnessday anon 💦
Hiiiii Wetnessday Anon! 💕💐
I'm sure Curtis would take care of your exhaustion and find ways to switch off your brain completely and have your muscles relax into goo 😉
Now you would think that it's through arranged marriage that I ended up being with King Curtis, but it's more of an arranged misadventure. And by arranged I mean that I was attempting to organize a sneaky escape from my kingdom. And by misadventure I mean that I wasn't planning on ending up on Curtis' ship.
Curtis came to my kingdom along with four other rulers of foreign kingdoms. It was to talk potential alliances and treaties, since my older brother - a regent awaiting for the crown while our father was slowly fading away due to illness - decided he wanted to show how big his balls are. He didn't make a good impression.
But at least he didn't start any new wars, so that's definitely a success.
Since he has been getting on my nerves with his pushing and pressing to marry me to his friend (I'm a goddamn Princess and he didn't even arrange for me to marry another king, or prince; but decided to sate his disgusting friend's lewd desires to possess me), I decided to fuck it all.
My plan was to sneak off to the golden shores of King Ari's kingdom. I had naive dreams of living a simple life on the beach, even marrying a fisherman. Just being happy and in peace.
Fowever, the security in the docks was exceptionally good, especially around each ship, which forced me to do a lot of hasty moves and wrong turns. I thought I was getting on the right ship, but in the morning, when we were on the open sea, I noticed from my hiding spot below the deck that the sails aren't pure white painted with gold.
They were crispy white, yes. But they bore the black emblem of an axe. That moment I realized I was on the way to the snowy lands, ruled by the rough, unyielding King Curtis.
Few breaths later I was discovered and dragged in front of the King himself.
Curtis wasn't happy at first, annoyed at the prospect of conflict my irresponsible escape may cause. But he took me to his cabin and demanded a thorough explanation. After a long consideration, he offered me two choices.
One was that I would be given a boat and one of his sailors would row me back to my kingdom. The other was to go with him and marry him, since he saw potential gain in that for his own kingdom.
Curtis was blunt about the political lining of it, but he was also honest in his promise to allow me freedom within the borders of the castle, opportunities to explore and grow and have my own passions. He even joked (amused by my romantic musings of learning to fish and mend fishing nets) that he'd allow me to learn any craft I wanted.
Agreeing to Curtis' proposal was dictated by me really not wanting to go back home, but he quickly proved that there was love and joy in the icy cold northern kingdom. And that it wasn't covered in snow all the time, like foreigners believed.
The wedding night also proved that my body would never desire any other man.
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Hellooo again! I come once more with more Gaz thoughts. Seriously, bro, I am DROWNING in Gaz everything right now. Like.. I need to breathe him, need to intermingle our souls.. And intermingle from behind, from the front, from between- AHEM. Anywho~~
Kyle is a nerd, a geek, a total goof. I cannot for the life of me get that out of my head that he would take every opportunity he could to bring up stuff like Dungeons and Dragons. "You, uh.. You mentioned that a new movie came out? You wouldn't happen to be talkin' about the D&D movie, would you? You are! So I've heard-" And then he'd spill facts and lore and stories and "Oh! I have the newest edition manuals. I've read them and memorized the rules. Would you like to learn? I can be Dundeon Master!" Of course, it's the literal written law to say yes to him no matter what, so you obviously agree.
Well, as it turns out, the geeky little one-on-one that he would have thoroughly enjoyed with you during a solo campaign would be completely ruined by a boisterous Scotsman and a grumpy skull-face. Price would have joined, but he was busy(he really just wanted to take a nap like an over-exhausted single Mother running after said boisterous Scot and too-serious, overly-sarcastic skull-face)
With Kyle's plans utterly foiled,(he had PLANS, damnit!) he went on to begrudgingly teach Johnny and Simon what each die did, what each roll meant, how to write up a character and all the rest of that.(seriously, he really had plans for a solo sesh..)
"No.. Ghost, you cannot roll insight on a newborn Elf just because they might be the next bad guy.. This is the third time you've asked that, man, just leave it!" It was literally only the third session within the campaign, and Ghost was already on the highway to becoming a murder-hobo. It didn't help that Ghost had made a complete edgelord rouge with the backstory conforming to the stereotype. Opening the dictionary of stereotypes, Ghost's character was the single definition of it.
"Soap! Fucks sake, bruv, stop messing with me! Just because you want to hit on the made-up barmaid doesn't mean you physically have to act it out on me.. Soap!" Soap was also the definition of horny bard. Actually, Soap tried taking it up to an entirely higher extreme and physically attempted time and time again to act it all out. "Bu' think o' it, Gaz! It's all made up, why no' act it ou' as well?? It's fookin' genius!" "For the hundredth time, Soap, that's LARPING! Get your bloody hands off me, you git!"
And then there was you. Sweet, innocent little you. You were fairly normal, had done fairly normal actions that were consistent. Just a simple, happy, normal half-Elven fighter with a simple, happy, normal half-Elven fighter backstory. However.. His mistake was gifting you your first set of dice. He had bought the set specifically for you, bought it the moment he saw them, and immediately thought of you, that you would love to have them. He didn't know that that action, that simple little gift, would turn you into a dice Dragon.
"Bloody hell, what 'ave you done???" Session seven came around, and he was standing in your barracks dorm after getting a few complaints about your.. problem. There, spilling over your bunk and onto the floor, over the small little stand beside the bed, was several upon several sets of dice. "Beautiful, isn't it? Behold my treasure, for I am a Dragon! I have ascended to the heavens and have become my ultimate self!" "Bleedin'... Bleedin' hells, love.." He'd created a monster, but he couldn't be bothered to really care when it seemed to make you happy. He never had to worry about misplacing his own set now that you had so much to spare.
(I may or may not be a dice Dragon... It's not a problem, it's HAPPINESS)
I'm gonna be honest.
I have never, in my entire 29 years of unwillingly existing, have I ever seen one game of DND. I have no idea what it's about. When I ask people, they lose me in the details because they get too excited (i just get a wide look in my eye and nod every once in a while, because they're speaking with so much passion i'd never ruin that for them) or they give the sorriest explanations known to man because they don't have the patience to teach.
it doesn't help that i don't know anyone that plays it either.
now. I'd be doing exactly that as Kyle went on an explanation turned soliloquy, because it feels like he's now in a play, and i'm the audience with the way his hands gesture his words.
His eyes are bright, his face is lit up with joy and i have no idea what he's saying but he looks so good in his element.
And then he hands me a die.
It's one of the best things I've ever seen.
I'd look at him and ask him if he'd be willing to buy me more. The way he smiles at me has my cheeks burning.
Now I'm collecting all kinds of dice and hoarding it like Smaug.
He'll step on it, and yelps because it feels like a lego under his foot, but once he realizes it's something he's bought for me, he'll carefully place it back on the little bookshelf.
In anticipation of any more scattered treasure, he now drags his feet on the floor.
"Come along! Help yourself; There's plenty, and to spare!"
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Mal Autonomy Manifesto
She's doing Very bad, for the record.
This is just the highlights of D2, because if I did everything we'd be here forever.
The movie starts with Ways to be Wicked which is canonically a stress daydream Mal's having after being cornered against a statue by a large group of adult press who are actively breaking the law by being there. And they refuse to leave the premises until an authority figure makes them.
Then she's immediately grabbed by the wrist and dragged away for a dress fitting by Evie. We'll get into the fitting in a second but Dark shout out to this moment in the movie Novelization
"Yeah," said Mal, nodding. In a way, she was strangely relieved.
More time to rest, she thought. Keeping up this act is exhausting.
[...]
Evie grabbed Mal's arm and spun her around. Mal cried out in surprise.
"If we don't do a fitting for your ball gown right this minute, you'll be dancing in your bathrobe," Evie told Mal. "Bye, Ben," She added as she deftly dragged Mal away.
There goes my nap.
At the fitting, the appointment intended to make sure a garment actually, you know, fits, Mal says that the dress it too tight, that she can't Breathe in it. Evie dismisses this concern out of hand. She can breathe after Cotillion.
The secret to fitting in, the book that Evie(veteran of 15 years of fucked up princess training) disparages her for using magic to read is about Courtly Etiquette by the way.
Mal broaches the subject of wanting some of the freedom the Isle provided. "Don't you ever miss running wild and breaking all the rules?" I miss being in charge of my schedule and Evie says "No, We're Auradon girls now." and drags her around the room. "We can be whatever we want to be here." She says. Interesting then, how little what Mal wants matters.
Mal tries to get to class and is stopped by Jane, who immediately launches into a barrage of questions she is uninterested in and unprepared to answer. She attempts to leave, stating both that she is busy, on a time crunch to get to her classes, and that she trusts Jane to pick what's best. Jane ignores this, grabs her arm again, and keeps her there until she answers, regardless of the cost to Mal.
Mal learns that there are aspects to attending Cotillion with Ben that she was unaware of. These are serious, affect her life in the long term, and Everyone knew but her. She's visibly surprised and upset. She asks if her whole life has been planned out in front of her without her say so. Signs point to yes.
Ben interrupts her at her locker. She says she doesn't have time. She has to get to class. Seriously, she's going to be late. Ben grabs her by the arm, "No, come this way." And drags her over to give her his present.
Mal is chased into the boys dorm by a barrage of reporters. They are still trespassing. They are inside the building. Love that. She's clearly visibly stressed, Carlos calms her like a spooked horse and she has an outburst. She says that people are following her everywhere, that there's so much she can't say for proprieties sake. She asks, "Don't you ever miss screaming at people and just making them run away from you?" I miss setting boundaries. Carlos says of course not, do you have the magical gummy that I asked for? Mal asks if he's really committed to telling the truth because she can't be honest without fearing being literally deported. She then shares, halfway to hyperventilating that, at this point, its not particularly unappealing. At least this all would stop, right? Carlos ignores this.
(Denouement, I'm not gonna defend the everything about this but know that I interpret the Spell thing as her trying to undo her mistake, literally turn back the clock so it never happened and isn't considering that she's mind wiping him. This is what she does when she does something wrong. Late to class etc. Like, it's still fucked but you know comprehensible. Adding that he frames her using magic as taking the easy way, like she hasn't looked 40 seconds from curling up in a ball and shivering like a hypothermic kitten all day, and that's with the magic.)
Mal leaves. She packs a bag and writes a letter and goes to the Isle under her own power. Ben follows her, convinced that the fight is the only reason that she would do this, and that he can track her down and talk to her and that everything will be fixed. The others help him do this.
So, he shows up, she physically recoils from him, cries, asks him multiple times to leave her alone, to go back to Auradon without her. he says this. Which is my number one least favorite Ben line of all time. "The people love you, I love you, don't you love me?"
I'm just gonna mention here that Mal never actually agrees on screen to go back to Auradon, she just gets in the car after Ben calls for her.
Ben asks if she wants to cancel Cotillion. She doesn't answer the question.
Girl talk is a mess of a scene. It will be it's own post bc it makes me INsane. But the relevant bit is that she describes her problem as the pressure to be perfect, to be something completely different than she's been her whole life up to now, and under constant scrutiny to maintain an act that exhausts her. Everybody else in the circle reassures her that Ben loves her, Not actually the problem she mentioned but ok, and tell her to attend Cotillion no matter what.
Evie tells her to go if she’s up for it, immediately after saying she’s going to take the some of her extremely limited time that afternoon to alter her dress. Jay told her to go, to try one more time as a condition of the relief they had already denied her.
When she arrives at Cotillion, Evie asks how she's doing and Mal says she feels like she's gonna throw up Evie says, "That's ok, That's fine. We're all here for you."
On the way out the door, Mal is grabbed again, stopped by the Former King and Queen, so they can apologize, and offer their explanations, immediately.
Jane and Lumiere block off the top of the staircase to prevent Mal from being able to escape before they can show her something.
Like. ok. Ben loves her, so what?
It can’t save her. If she could have been saved it wouldn’t have gotten to that point. She wouldn’t have run away, been followed, been emotionally blackmailed, been brought back, been told to go to Cotillion anyway. She wouldn’t be Engaged to be Engaged to be Engaged.
#mal bertha#mal descendants#disney descendants#unhinged descendants opinions#as promised#descendants 2
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Fluff Prompt 25 (“I would marry you again in a heartbeat.”) for Bernadetta/Sylvain ! (please and thank you gj writing lately I'm so proud and happy to see you writing again)
-crying- This idea is incredibly soft, thank you <3 I'm sorry it took me a hundred years to finally finish.
[prompt rules]
[more Beagles stories]
25. “I would marry you again in a heartbeat.”
--
Not once all evening had someone approached Bernadetta to proclaim they were Lord/Lady So-And-So and such a shame about your father and could you introduce me to-- blah blah blah.
Not once all evening had Bernadetta felt the need to hide away because the hall was too crowded with strangers or people that whispered behind her back.
All that, combined with the amazing food and lively music, made this the best wedding Bernadetta had ever attended. The next time she got a moment alone with Ignatz and Claude, she planned to praise them and their planning skills.
She felt a hand at her lower back. "You look happy," Sylvain said in her ear. "What are you thinking about?"
It had been a long time since Bernadetta had felt shy about telling her husband what was on her mind. But the specific thing she was thinking sounded rude no matter who she said it to. "Just that this is a great wedding," she answered instead.
Sylvain hummed in agreement, watching Ignatz dance with his mother. "Much better than ours."
Bernadetta practically sagged against his side. "Oh good, you think so too." Sylvain wrapped an arm around her and laughed into her hair. "I didn't want to be mean but you're right!"
"It helps that Ignatz wasn't expected to invite half the Kingdom. Or my parents."
The memory of their wedding day still brought exhaustion to Bernadetta's whole being. More than half the guest list had been people Bernadetta had never met before in her life, and half of that number had been people Sylvain detested. Their mothers had gotten along entirely too well for their liking, Sylvain's father had scowled the at everything, there had been no end to the people who wanted to worm their way into the good graces of the new generation of Margraves--
Bernadetta watched Ignatz laugh as his brother dramatically whisked their mother out of Ignatz's arms and into the next song. Apart from a few merchants and the Almyran guards keeping party crashers at bay, everyone here was friend or family. This wasn't a hot social gathering for connecting with those in power; it was a celebration. And a spirited one at that.
Familiar lips brushed her forehead. "We should have another one," Sylvain murmured, quiet enough to give Bernadetta pause.
She looked up at him. "Another what?"
"Another wedding." He laughed again. "I mean, not the mess we had before. A wedding like this." Sylvain nodded to the small gathering around the dance floor, the grins, the honest enjoyment, the way Ignatz and Claude beamed at everyone.
Then Sylvain ducked his head against hers. "Never mind. That's a lot of fuss for no reason."
"It's not for no reason!" Bernadetta turned in his arms and cupped his face. "I'd marry you again in a heartbeat!"
A bright blush took Sylvan's cheeks but he chuckled, holding her gently by the wrists. "Yeah? Who are we inviting this time? His Highness and Marianne, that's a given."
"Ferdinand too. And Petra since she couldn't make it to our first wedding."
"We should probably invite Claude and Ignatz. As thanks for the idea."
"Yes! And Felix and Ingrid and Leonie and Dorothea!"
Sylvain laughed. "While we're dreaming, do you think Ashe could cater the whole thing?"
Bernadetta pouted and squeezed Sylvain's cheeks again. "I'm not dreaming!" She stated. "I would marry you again. I will marry you again!"
The levity in Sylvain expression vanished, replaced with a slack jaw and round eyes. "You're serious," he said with faint awe in his voice.
"I am." She let him pull her hands away, gripping them tight. "Our wedding wasn't us, Sylvain. I want a wedding that's about us. Our happiness." Bernadetta lowered her head to his chest, her next words muffled. "I love you."
Sylvain let go of her hands and wrapped both arms secure around Bernadetta. "It wouldn't be too much for you? Another wedding?" He asked, voice low and comforting.
"With you, I can do anything." Even as she said the words, Bernadetta felt her face burn up. That sounded more like something she would write in one of her stories, rather than something she would say aloud.
Sure enough-- Sylvain laughed and kissed the top of her head, ignoring the fist she blindly beat against his shoulder in embarrassment. "We'll plan more tonight, then," he said. "Maybe I'll corner Claude and see if I can get him to explain how he kept it secret that the King of Almyra was getting married in a random Alliance village."
"T-That would be useful to know."
With another chuckle, Sylvain pressed his lips to the top of her head again, this time leaving them there as he said, "I love you, too."
No Lord/Lady So-And-So came to interrupt their moment. No intimidating old noble who would look disparagingly upon them. No one was around them except for those Claude and Ignatz held dear.
So Bernadetta simply stayed in Sylvain's arms for a few beats longer, letting him rock them gently as the music on the dancefloor picked up speed. She would dance with her husband later. Maybe even dance with Ignatz. But first, she had this moment of peace, and she used it to think about her own upcoming wedding.
#fire emblem three houses#sylvetta#bernivain#bernadetta von varley#sylvain jose gautier#beagles run#moeblob#i wrote the first three fourths of this in October if you can believe it
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Heyyyy. Could you do an Aang Pov where a few years after the war the Kataang relationship is strained because they are always traveling and Katara feels neglected because Aang is always in conferences? I'm in the mood for a lot of anguish, pain and tears, but there's not enough in this fandom
Okay! It’s angst and tears with an open ended hopeful? ending!
I hope you enjoy !!! This is my first time writing an ATLA fic so please! Be kind 🤍
🔥🌬💧🪨
I returned to the home Katara and I shared in the city we’ve now named Republic City. I have been gone for a few weeks as my ongoing search for lost airbender history continues. I decided to maintain a semi-permanent home in the city to show my allegiance to the new ways we have chosen to govern the world, post war.
We know that balance can only be maintained through hard work. I know Katara has missed being in the south but my job as the Avatar makes it hard to be selfish and put our wants above the needs of the world.
When I arrive home there’s a flurry of movement in the bedroom. I can hear Katara pacing back and forth. She’s moving frantically and hasn’t noticed I’ve arrived.
“Gone for weeks and not even sending a carrier eagle to tell me when he will get back” she mumbles. “I’m sick of being left behind, let’s see if he likes it huh, I’ll just take a little vacation back to Wolf Cove…” she’s still talking softly under her breath when she turns the corner out of our room, almost walking right through me and colliding with my chest.
“Baby? Are you going somewhere?” I ask gently, holding her shoulders steady and feeling as they rise and fall with her deep breaths. “Yes. I’m leaving. Going home for a while.” She barks out, only anger lacing her tone as she speaks.
“Leaving? I thought we agreed to make this our new home? I understand if you need to visit your family, but, you’ll come back? Right?” I ask, trying and failing not to sound like a pathetic lizard-guppy.
“No, You agreed to make this your home Aang, I don’t remember really being included in that conversation. Or really any conversation lately, it’s like you don’t even have time for me anymore.”
Her shoulders loosen slightly but she doesn’t lose the edge in her eyes, “but I’m going home, back to Wolf Cove to be with people that care about me, that actually notice when I’m around. People that want to talk to me and include me in their plans, that used to be you. I guess not anymore.” She shakes my hands from atop of her shoulders and tries to maneuver around me.
I turn around, letting her pass but quickly follow her as she makes her way to the front door. “I‘ll go with you! We can make it a fun trip, celebrating our anniversary that’s coming up soon.”
She huffs an annoyed breath and stops just before the door. “Surprised you would have even remembered, I seem to be the last thing on your mind lately. It’s just your precious Republic City!” Her voice rings out with the last of her sentence, her emotions taking control and I’m taken aback by her outburst.
“What do you want me to say Katara? I thought you understood that this was my life.” My power pulses as my heart rate elevates. “I have a duty to restore harmony after the war, I owe it to the nations after being gone for a hundred years while people suffered under the Fire Nations rule” this fight between Katara and feels as though it’s been repeating for months.
“Duty! Honor! That’s all you care about Aang, all you talk about since the war ended. You didn’t find redemption in defeating the Fire Lord? You helped the nations unify and yet still you are gone for weeks on end dealing with every issue that pops up.” Katara’s eyes gleam with tears “I’m going home Aang. Alone”
“Katara please, don’t just leave, let's talk about this.” I gasp her arm in a silent plea for her to stay, “I’m sorry if-“ I try to apologize but she just holds a hand up in exhausted defeat. “I know Aang, I know you’re sorry. And if we talk you’ll make promises to me that you’ll never keep. I just need some time, sokka sent me a message about some hunters that haven’t returned from their hunt so I’ll help him with that. Spending some time with my family is what I need right now.” She moves her hand to lay on top of mine that’s circling her arm. “I thought we were family.” I say in an almost silent voice.
“I had always thought we were Aang, I love you but I can’t do this if you’re never around. We were a team and now you do everything on your own. Maybe I need to be alone for a while too”
Leaving out the front door I follow behind to see a small fire nation airship hovering overhead, “what is this?” I ask, confusion written all over my face. We both look up as our friend Zuko slides down the rope ladder. I try to fight down the hot fire of jealousy that boils in my gut. “You called Zuko? If you wait just a day Appa could take you and we could talk, I don’t want you to leave like this”
I am practically begging but she ignores my pleas and offers a sad greeting to our friend. “Hi Zuko, thank you for offering to take me today” she tells him calmly and he offers her a gentle smile. When his gaze shifts to me it’s a mix of understanding and conflict. “Aang, how are you? You’ve just returned from the eastern air temple? Any luck in your search.” He asks politely.
“The search goes well, thank you friend.” I bow my head slightly towards him as a sign of respect.
Katara turns to me with tears shimmering in her eyes, “continue your search Aang and your job as Avatar but search for where I am meant to fit into any of it as well. I will not force myself in your life. I need time..” the tears have began streaking down her golden brown skin and I gently swipe them away. “I will always have room for you in my life, my love, but I understand I have failed you. I will work to prove to you that it’s true.” I wrap my arms tightly around her and bury my nose into her hair, breathing in her scent and committing it to memory not knowing how long she will need to be away, not knowing how long it will take to win her back.
“I will miss you Katara” I whisper to her and all she can offer is a broken sob as she disengages from our embrace and rushes towards the ladder to head up into the ship.
Zuko approaches me and we share a friendly hand shake, “I will ensure she arrives at the South Pole safely and report back once I’ve arrived back,” he tells me and I let out a ragged breath. “I can’t believe I’m losing her like this Zuko, I failed her more than anything else.” My voice is raw and full of emotion that I can’t contain. “You will not lose her my friend. I have struggled with the same things in my relationship with Mai, prove you can be just as committed to her as you are to being the Avatar.”
“I want to! That’s why I don’t want her to leave!” I lose control of my air for a moment and send a gust and shift the ladder as it hangs causing it to sway.
“You have to let her make her own choices Aang, let her decide and make an effort to be what she needs.” Zuko puts his hand on my shoulder and squeezes slightly, “you need to be the man you are not the Avatar right now, she doesn’t need the Avatar. She needs you.” His grip lightens and he back up towards the ladder, offering a smile and a goodbye he heads up and within a few minutes the ship is moving and out of my sight taking my greatest love further and further away
#avatar the last airbender#atla fanfic#atla angst#angst#avatar aang#kataang#katara#katara and aang#aang and katara#kataang angst#avatar the last airbender aang#avatar the last airbender fanfiction#atla fanfiction#fanfiction#author : spicywhenspeaking
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hey arc, classpect the MI team + villains (:
Okay yeah I deserve that. But I'm not classpecting anyone who is only in one movie, I refuse. I need more material.
So let's start with the obvious.
Ethan Hunt is an Heir of Light, which may parse as someone who is manipulated/played by/acts as the avatar of luck/agency/relevance. Light is the aspect of the script, the narrative, the spotlight. It is the driving force that keeps the story going simply because the story HAS to be told.
My recurring thing with Ethan is that I don't think he's great at plans. I think he's incredibly skilled at rolling the dice and figuring out the next hour of his life, and then he has to figure out the next hour after that, over and over. It is EXHAUSTING. He's like a perpetual motion machine but you can see the cracks and hear how the gears grind.
But he can't stop. In a very real sense, the narrative is centered on the fact he will not stop. He weirdly almost has the Unspoken Plan Guarantee as a superpower... But for it to work, he has to keep going.
The deal that fate has dealt Ethan is "oh you will succeed and you will win, but you will keep running until you reach that point." If at any point he gives in and stops, everything collapses around him. IT. SUCKS.
.
Luther is a Mage of Void, I think. His aspect was difficult to nail down but his class absolutely has to be Mage. He's a passive team player and his utility is 99% knowledge. But what separates him from a Seer or Sylph is that yes he can be compelled to do exposition and shit when necessary, but mostly, if he can answer a question with "Because I'm the best at this, baby," then he will. He is not compelled to infodump in the way other classes are.
As for why Void, it's difficult to nail down but basically I think Luther is there to explain very twisty concepts that revolve around obsession. Void is the aspect of Obsession, and Luther as a Mage does deal hands-on with the aspect, yeah, but he has more of an observational role over it than other classes. So he's the one to teach Julia how to be a ghost, he's the one to fnd Ethan when he's hidden, and he's the one to explain Ethan's whole Thing to Ilsa. He's the guy who understands the inexplicable, and hoards that understanding like a dragon.
.
Benji Dunn is a Rogue of Blood. I mean, obviously, right? Benji tricks you at first because he's a tech guy, he's a gadget guy, he's an answers guy (in the way that Luther isn't, actually), so you want to go "oh he's a Doom or Time or something".
But nope, Benji's got blood in the lines of his hands and it's the well-spring he draws from. Blood is the aspect of Obligation, and of leadership. Obviously Ethan is the factual leader of the team, but it's not a coincidence that Benji is the one to direct Ethan, to give the objectives, and in RN flat out acts as Ethan's tether to reality when he's going off the deep end. As a bonus, he's protected by Blood as well. Ilsa sees him through a sniper scope and immediately saves him before she's even met him because of course. Of course she does. Benji compels people so easily to what he wants and needs.
And its also not a coincidence that Solomon grabs him out of everyone. He steals the anchor everyone is tied to, and you can almost see the blood red rope between Ethan and Benji snapping violently taut the moment it happens. It's like Ethan's chained to a runaway train, he has no choice BUT to save Benji.
.
Ilsa Faust is a Prince of Mind in my opinion. This one parses a in service to the aspect of skepticism. Settling on Ilsa's aspect was difficult but to me, her defining struggle is that she's surrounded by all these rules and crossing loyalties and objectives from multiple people, the entire world is pressing down on her... but she doesn't really care. Oh, she says that she does, she says she has to do this, this is how she makes it home, but what do her actions say?
To me, they say Ilsa is skeptical of everything trying to bind her, and at the end of the day she propels the plot simply by making her own choices. She's the one who chooses her path and says "No, but" to everyone, the perfect inverse of Ethan's improvisational nature.
And she gains power as she does it. When she says, "No, but" she changes things for everyone. Like any Prince, she is incredibly potent, but acts like a sword in a sheath, the potential humming through her until she springs into decisive action. And again, with the Prince class, when the player is in service to their aspect, it gives them phenomenal power. When they resist their aspect, they are punished. Every time Ilsa gives into the powers trying to control her, she's miserable and used like a pawn.
So yeah I'm p comfortable saying she's Prince of Mind.
.
SHOCKING NO ONE, Brandt is Maid of Doom. lmao. This parses as one burdened by the aspect of inevitability. I don't even need to think about this one. Doom players are good at understand the systems that have everyone crushed under a boot. They know the laws and the bylaws and the commonplace agreements that keep the system in place, and they're annoyed at it all... but they also know how to play that game, who is important, where they can pry a place for themselves. That's Brandt, who basically quits the field and becomes operations because he knows the team needs cover, and he knows how to provide it, and god-fucking-dammit, SOMEONE has to keep the lights on at home.
And Maid? Maids are one of the Tired classes, and Brandt is sooooo fucking tired all the time. The eternal pessimist. Maids have an abundance of their aspect and thus provide it to their team. They also want something that their aspect keeps them from attaining, and in this case I think of "Doom" as "the CIA-IMF" and the thing Brandt needs is to fucking retire. Stop having a job, Brandt.
.
The only other character I think I can classpect is Solomon goddamn Lane, and oh, he's a Seer. There is no fucking question that Solomon is a Seer. Nailing down what he's a Seer of is more difficult though.
I kind of wanna say he's a Seer of Blood. Knowledge of the aspect of obligation to serve others. Everything about how he functions is about people's bonds. He knows how to get the right people who have been abused by their organizations and governments, he knows how to put people together in a room to force new connections, he openly admits that his weapon against Ethan was the moment he killed the young agent in front of Ethan's eyes. He sees all the red strings and he tries to garrote people with them.
Seers are also very active people in the story, they are always pulling bullshit, and Solomon Lane never stops being a petty fucking asshole pretending to be a calm, reasonable man. Seers fucking loooooove acting aloof and above it all when really they are dramatic and addicted to revenge.
THAT'S EVERYONE, HERE YOU GO PUNCT.
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Self Rec Game
tagged by the lovely @capriciouslyterminal @stevethehairington @starorbs💖
Rules: recommend three of your own fics (1 most popular, two hidden gems) then tag some people!
I only have 4 fics on ao3 so perhaps this is pointless but it is also fun shhhh
tagging anyone who sees this and wants to do it! I am giving you permission to toot your own horn, so do it! <3
Most Popular
someone else's favorite song (120k)
I was kind of surprised at how many people really stuck around for the long haul with this one, but then again I guess I just discovered that in writing what I wanted to see in the world I found other people who also wanted to see it. We're all just looking for our grief to be understood huh <3
Eddie couldn’t tear his eyes away if he tried. Madeline Harrington hadn’t ever known about the ways her son had saved the world, had saved most of them in one way or another, but she’d called him her feathered thing and it’s the most accurate nickname he’s ever heard for the Hair, the King, the Babysitter.
They— the whole collective world of them— had always called him by what he did or what he had but not by what he is.
But his mother had known. She had seen her son through all the growing and changing and she had named him hope.
Hidden Gems
that's just wasteland, baby! (19k)
My apocalyptic post s4 Hawkins baby with all my silly little worldbuilding that I am so proud of and an open ending I would love to revisit one day. I love this little world and I'm really proud for doing the slice of life thing for once. Steve needs some new boots, a nap, and a little smooch smooch
“Okay,” a hand accompanies that steady voice, steady in its own right as it splays gently across the back of his skull, fingers spread wide enough to push against the pressure building in the soft spots right behind Steve’s ears.
Steve would be embarrassed at the sound he makes, one of relief and exhaustion and giving in to both that hums at the back of his throat in a spot dangerously close from where one might begin a moan, if not for the pleased little hum Eddie makes as he deepens the soothing pressure, rubs little circles.
“Okay,” Eddie repeats when Steve doesn’t speak further than just that sound opening up a gap somewhere deep in his aching lungs, “so here’s the thing— I’m a guy from maintenance, and I’m not going back to Waterfront with you ‘til you’ve slept for at minimum ninety minutes. So. Might wanna get on that.”
METAMORPHOSES (39k + counting)
Very much still a work in progress, but I'm having so much fun working/releasing this one because I have Plans and I can't wait to see how they play out. Sort-of-Kas (it'll make sense one of these days I promise), post-possession, recovery and slow burn shenanigans all in my beloved Eddie's POV I'm so excited about this little world
“It’s only,” Eddie breathes out, lets his ear lilt towards his shoulder and his eyes really look at the man beside him, “you make me nervous, Steve Harrington.”
It’s the most honest he’s been in a long time, he thinks, despite all the honesty Steve himself has pulled out of Eddie recently. This is still top of the pile, this is still bigger than the rest, this is still vulnerability incarnate because Eddie doesn’t even know what it means yet.
Steve studies him when he says it, seems to mull the words over in that thoughtful way he does with the little crinkle between his brows and the almost involuntary knick of his teeth over his bottom lip.
Eddie doesn’t know what response he’s expecting to the admission, because he hardly knows what he’s admitted to, but this isn’t quite it.
“Is that something I’m supposed to apologize for?”
Eddie guffaws. The words are harsh and blunt and a little bit bitchy, but his tone is earnest, plain and simple. Steve is actually asking, because he doesn’t know.
“No,” Eddie says through his dwindling laughter, letting his fork fall with a clatter to his plate, “no, you ain’t got nothing to apologize for, sweetheart.”
#dot post#thank you for tagging me this was not something I'd have done otherwise#steddie fic#steddie
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2, 3, 5, 12, 14, 15, 20?
2. Have you had any fusions that eventually split back to the (more or less) same parts?
not in particular... we've had fused alters split again but not to the same alters as before? i will say some of our fusions have been kinda like. Fuzzy/not complete so i will notice them being more separate sometimes and more fused other times but that's not so much a fusion...... unfusing later down the line and more like that's just the State Of Their Fusion. if that makes sense
3. Have you had any fusions that eventually split into new parts?
oops i did not read the questions ahead and basically answered this in the previous question. yeah we're pretty fragmented so we have had a Lot of fusions over time and alters will split into new parts... and those parts will fuse with other parts... and all our alter histories are a mess. there's a reason we don't care to self identify in public other than as "kiki" and "ayano" because explaining it to people or constantly knowing who exactly we are would be Fucking Exhausting
5. After a fusion of named parts, how do you decide which name to go by?
really just depends on the fusion and the feelings of the alters who are fusing? there's no clear cut way we handle that every single time, no rules, kind of just between the alters who fuse. i wouldn't even necessarily say it's a "decision" either - something just Naturally Feels Right for the alters in question and That Is Their Name. we've also had cases where alters fuse and have a completely new name none of them had before after fusion
12. Have you had parts that attempted to fuse but couldn't?
Yeah actually we have a running issue right now with two alters who WANT to fuse but like... they just can't rightnow for a variety of personal and upsetting reasons, including you know. hating each other and not accepting each other. that's what therapy is for babey !
14. Have you had a positive fusion experience before?
yes! many :] we don't look poorly at fusion, it's a sign of healing and moving forward in our life. usually fusion is celebratory, especially if it's expected/planned and not spontaneous
15. Have you had a negative fusion experience before?
yeah but less because of ourselves and more because of people in our life. have had times where an alter fuses and everyone around us acts like a person just died which. i can empathize with feeling loss in that situation (in a sense i kind of do too sometimes depending on the fusion) but it's kind of frustrating and Not productive to act like fusion is killing someone. that's just not the case. the alter is still there! just in a different way.
20. What is your system's thoughts on final fusion? Is it a potential end goal for your system?
we don't want Final Fusion but i think one day in the far future it would nice for it to just be Two. dual existence is ideal for us. right now we have at LEAST 30 alters if not more but we would like to be Two one day. we've presented ourselves as two for so long and identify as a mirror or "two people" internally so much that it's hard to imagine being happy as One. i actively value my life as multiple as well - i don't see my DID as a curse that needs to be deleted, it is literally why i survived life altering childhood trauma (no pun intended), and it is a part of my identity... i care deeply about my alters... but it also is still a mental illness at the end of the day and i would like to be more functional and less fragmented. i think i am capable of being more whole and happy than i am now if we were brought down to two. two is good. but of course this varies for everyone and if final fusion is a system's goal or functional multiplicity with a lot of alters is their goal good for them
sorry for answering this so late i got busy LOL and sorry if it was too ramble-y i'm just sorta saying shit
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I remembered another dirt bag story, but in this case everyone involved thought it was funny and we're all still friends so it's all good
several years ago I traveled from westchester to brooklyn to spend the night at a friend's place, and then another group of friends made plans with me to meet up the next day at the natural history museum on the upper west side
(the point of these location names is to indicate that I was going straight from my friend's place to the museum, without a way to stop back home in between)
at the museum we're walking around, life is good. I'm carrying around a backpack stuffed with my toothbrush, clothes, and other overnight essentials. We're all having a grand time, we spend the whole day there.
Finally we're in the dinosaur exhibit, it is so interminable we're getting tired and cranky. We're also all starving. The museum's food offerings are both meager AND expensive, and we're all in grad school together so no one has the money to spend $16 for the shittiest vending machine tuna sandwich imaginable
Friend A is really starting to break down due to hunger and exhaustion, so Friend B helpfully reaches into her massive cloth sack purse and fishes out a bag of granola and is like, "Here, have this. It's what I've been snacking on"
Friend A's eyes bulge and she immediately begins to panic. "You brought food?? Into the museum?? That's against the RULES, are you crazy???" she is hiss-whispering and struggling to keep her voice down
Friend B is like "It's no big deal, just have some, I thought you were hungry?"
Friend A is losing it with rage and fear, the security guard wanders into the room and she looks like she's going to absolutely lose it, she's like whisper yelling at Friend B "What were you thinking??? Why would you do this??? They could KICK US OUT for this, why did you think this was ok??"
They're both arguing back and forth, Friend B is trying to calm down Friend A and is somewhat befuddled as to the intensity of the reaction, Friend A is trying to express to Friend B how deeply uncomfortable any kind of rule-breaking makes her and how unhappy she is that one of us would have brought something in against the rules so thoughtlessly
And then there was me, standing there watching this go down, feeling panicked and clutched my backpack filled with overnight essentials that I just at that very moment remembered included a tupperware sandwich container filled with weed...
Anyway, I watched Friend B get reamed out for her food crimes and said absolutely nothing like the coward I am, and then like a year later I finally confessed to both of them that while they were debating the illicit granola I was standing next to them sweating bullets holding my bag of marijuana which was still technically illegal at that time, and luckily for me they both thought that was hilarious
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can't get money without compromising your health being around people, try to get money online sell your data, sell your identity, it's implied, you don't know, it's behind your back. Try to get money, fake your soul, smile for survival, smile for the people who don't give a shit about your health; try to get money, get rejected, get nowhere, get motivated, need to organize, money in the meantime? Sell your clothes or old books unwanted, risk youe health at the post office. Meanwhile no money, try to get money, wait for the next time you're allowed to attempt it, a low paid job that could keep your body safe, but when do the drawings get made? Not even when there's time, it all goes into stress, time isn't enough, try to get money, get mad at the system, get mad at the president, get mad at the billionaires. Meanwhile the earth is dying, they've killed it, they're killing it, and it's too hard to watch for people so they just keep trying to get the money, try to get distracted, get convinced wrinkles are the enemy, your nose is the enemy, your thighs is the enemy. Your clothes are made by slaves, what's the other option, try to get the money to try to help people on the opposite side of your world. Lie here and take care of yourself. A little bit of yoga, a little bit of dancing, a little bit of planting, and you believe in life again. You believe in love always cause it's right here in your hand, but across the ocean, so you try to get the money, get rejected again, do laundry as needed, clean the house as needed, clean yourself, be careful you don't get infected, need to relax from the stress of loneliness and the stress of being stressed and the stress of family and your grandma's sometimes nice but she doesn't know you're gay and what would it change if she did, would she take back all the stamps she sent for my best friend I want a house with? Trying to get the money while mad money exists. Trying to get the money mostly in my head, planning différent ways to stay safe while I attempt it, I'm alone and afraid, just want to hold her hand under the roof we'd both choose the paint for. Mad, sad, exhausted, just the thought of trying freezes me into my thoughts, racing all at once, I want to find a way, without breaking my self, without losing myself. Should I use the time to learn how to drive at last, there's time, you've got time, mom said, all this time, one month, at least you could do that, as though days are empty and I'm happy. I'm empty mostly and they're pretending to be happy. Am I even trying to get the money? I want tojust cause I need to, and every time the thought comes more urgent, falling into the plans again and a minute later remembers how that all feels like corruption, but what's the other way, even the other ways corrupt. Influencers and video makers and shitty text writers of 3lines on a blank square that's enough now to make it, attention spans diminished so it sells better than explorations into the souls and time my favorite writer writes about. can't begin to talk to about the unfair. online they've been making memes about abuse, and this time it's very deeply strange and weirdly unexpected and i don't understand how this started when years ago they were a'l canceling him. Anyway, my rage keeps me from becoming successful at anything, don't spend enough time lingering into mediocrity to become something. I'm privileged, I'm housed and fed and I've lived here my entire life, and yet there's guilt and yet I'm helping and yet I'm informing and yet I'm trying to keep them safe to even though she acts like the rules of two years ago still apply. Informed but enraged, that's the cost always. There's war, in more than one country. There's famine, there's storms, there's drought, there's the end that they'll say they'd warned us about so they did nothing to stop it. There's the future they want to force the unborn to have, there's the life they want to live now but won't protect now.
the religious obsessed with possessing the truth they invented and forcing the lies and forcing ignorance and forcing poverty and blindness until they're rich enough they think they're invincible until they're safe if there's no god to save them cause at least they'll have money the poor gave them. They think they predicted this when the earth was still healthy, they just wrecked it to prove a point. Maybe if we all faced it we could all fix it. Everything was caused by us, everything can be fixed.
#I could go on#T#Tumblr will not let me copy paste post text from my notes but it's okay if it comes from a texting app.. Okay....#But I still can't edit the text or else it doesn't work....#Where's the logic#That's quite literally#Spilled ink#spilled thoughts#spilled words#spilled writing#spilled everything#Here's my brain on a plate
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It's all okay.
I can't remember the last time I posted on here. But I'm fairly certain I was still whining about my ex boyfriend. He was so terrible to me it's actually unreal. It's also amusing to me how little I feel emotionally about the entire situation now. There's no more weight on my heart. My head still feels a little bit cloudy though. I keep going out with guys and it keeps blowing up in my face. I actively self-sabotage the fuck out of myself. It's not funny, but there's a sense of irony and dry cynicism that looms in the undertones of my behavior.
I get what I'm doing. Yet at the same time I don't really care. I feel like I can be abrasive or aggressive or blunt and all of that is fine. I'm having to unlearn so many "bad" things and reprogram them as "having worth simply because they exist". Not that I have to cling to it or anything. It's all exhausting. I still feel like a freak. I'm beginning to revel in that maybe a little too much and that does worry me a little bit.
I haven't decided if it's negative or not. Once again though, it's only bad if I assign a bad value to it. So really none of this actually matters. But I still want a boyfriend. I try to do it cordially and men suddenly think I want to marry them and have their babies. At least it seems that way. I feel like I run people off with my abruptness. Like SIR all I'm trying to figure out is your intentions in talking to me. Dating today is so absolutely fucked up. I hate it. I'm entirely confused all the time.
I just want someone to hang out with and feel feelings with and make memories and have lots of fun sex with. If we fall in love and it becomes intense and futuristic, okay. First of all ROADBLOCK, because I know my abandonment and commitment issues will begin to flare up lmao. Like a bad chronic illness, just pops up right when life is going right. I literally just want a boyfriend. I want attention and I don't want to worry about being cheated on or lied to. I just want to have sex and share feelings and make sure that my body and my feelings are safe within that process.
I think it's all weird right now too because a ton of people are beginning to get married and have babies. FREAKY AS FUCK. I'm not ready for any of that. No way in hell. I just want a boyfriend. I feel like the "mating pressure" has begun or something. Like when I go out with men now it doesn't feel as fun. Maybe it's me in my head with my own expectations but the last two guys I went out with it just came off as intense for no reason. Space and distance gentlemen, respect.
I don't know it's all very weird. Being 25 is a weird age. The economy sucks, I get paid doo doo dollars at work, and I can't buy any of the shit I want. It sucks. Life feels so monotonous and I have no real responsibilities. How can I feel so tied down and trapped?
My latest plan is to take some time for myself GENUINELY and take care of some personal business I need to handle. I have a lot of stuff I want to do. My mind feels healthy and stable. I'm just bored right now. Unfortunately all too self-aware as well. Maybe that's why dating isn't going well for me right now. I've got no patience for shuffling feet and beating around the bush. Perhaps there's an art in subtly that I've lost. Really though, I'm not sure I've ever really possessed such a skill.
I've got to amend some issues within myself. I've got promises to keep and commitments to maintain. The whole prospect of dating seems to be bringing me discomfort anyway. So maybe it's best to take a break until New Years. I could do that. I got to get interesting again. So damn angsty all the time.
I feel fairly confident the ADHD mask is coming off finally. I think what I'm hitting against is the "I don't give a shit anymore" threshold. It's close and that is exciting. What do I want to do with myself? I can do whatever I set my mind to. I am in control of me. That rules. <3
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👾 for Kaija!
Fast Forward, by You Me At Six!
When you feel the fire is gone
I'll pour some gasoline on
I, I, I'll pour some gasoline on
I, I, I'll pour some gasoline on
sooo Kiki is very good at both getting things started and keeping them going. she's a source of motivation in ways that are unexpected to herself even, considering she's spent most of her life worrying about herself only—and paradoxically that's kind of what makes her motivating and inspiring in the context of the Crusades.
she could never give up, she never had anyone to fall back on, someone she could trust to take care of her. it was Keep Going Or Die, & she translated that over to the Crusades pretty seamlessly
not in a threatening way, but like—she doesn't, for lack of a better word, coddle her people (be it her companions or her fellow crusaders or whoever). she doesn't let them give up. if they show any signs of giving up, of surrendering to despair and exhaustion, she takes it upon herself to "pour some gasoline on"; stoke the fire. which isn't necessarily always a good thing because Kaija is stubborn as a mule and arguably made of fucking steel, she can handle the type of pressure she puts on herself, but uh. not everyone can, let's just say. still, somehow, rather than make everyone angry at her, she inspires a surprising amount of them to reach that level of Being Made Of Fucking Steel lol
And I might be down but I'm not fucking out
'Cause I need more hours to turn this one around
see above :3 no matter what happens, she is NOT giving up and you can NOT defeat her. you can NOT get rid of her. roach-ass kinda woman. who would win: the Abyss or Gregor Samsa if, instead of being crushed by existential depression about capitalism & the inherent alienation thereof, he was a big woman with a sharp stick and anger management issues
I scratched the surface yesterday, I
I know how this one will play out
Let me start you before you start
You played yours, I played my part
a lot of the stuff she goes through seems like going in circles over and over, repeating an endless cycle that she's grown to know intimately. the disappointment, the disrespect, being used and played with and ultimately tossed aside. she's lived that, she knows how it works, and she is fucking done with it. when the cycle closes (endgame), her priority is to make sure that everyone else is playing by her rules, and that they eventually learn as much. let them think they've won, that she's played into their hands—she knows she'll get to have the last laugh, the moment of brilliant triumph, because she's been fucking trained for it in ways nobody else has. after all this time, she's one step ahead and she plans to keep it that way.
Both cut from the same cloth
a lot of the people who annoy Kai the most work perfectly as her narrative foils, oops
#Maia speaks#OC: Kaija#thank you Siren!!!#(no warnings or anything for that vid it's just a picture of the album cover)#me with Kaija: how many nicknames can I get from this one 5-letter name? the answer may surprise you!#also I think it's appropriate I'm saying this in the tags of an ask you sent: the Regill & Kaija dynamic is FASCINATING because#he's LE. she's CN. on paper they should not be able to stand each other.#but the way Kaija handles her army ends up building this sort of... extremely begrudging respect in Regill . and it's very funny
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moodboard
feeling a lot of angry, incoherent things on this fine night around 2am
the first is why is everything SO FUCKING LOUD, i just wanna sleep, why must there be multiple snoring so loud i can hear it with the window open and why must the outside be so chaotic with loud tv-s and loud cars and loud motorbikes and loud everything, i get sensory overload almost every fucking day, sometimes not just once a day, and it's exhausting as hell
the second is that i'm fretting over my cousin mentioning in passing that he would be in town on my one week off (which would mean he would stay here) where i was planning to be alone during the day and have the boy sleep over, i do not want that ruined, i really need some time off alone and i also need to spend some time with the boy, just the two of us, and definitely not my cousin snoring in the next room
the rest is just general existential dread
like how i will never have my own place somewhere quiet, or just my own place in general, my own existence that is not dependent on parents and is dictated by my own rules
how i will never get to sleep well, not really because if not the noise, then pain or the heat or memories or thoughts or chaos in my head will keep me up
how i will never experience peace and quiet because the whole fucking world is loud, disgusting and literally on fire, and also because even if i find a quiet spot my brain is too loud and i got tinnitus just to round it all out
how i will just be more and more miserable as the planet heats up and the summers get more extreme and how the whole world is dying around us but we gotta keep going because if we don't we die
how i really, really need a long break, like more than a month, but will never get it because ✨️capitalism✨️ and the need to do something, anything, lest the voices in my head get too loud
how the smallest of things remind me of hurtful stuff, some recent, some years or decades old, and how that can send me down a spiral that ends in crying, and how i feel like a burden because of not being able to control my feelings
how small and powerless i am to change my tiny insignificant little life and on top of all that news from around the world makes me feel guilty for sometimes buying the more fancy fruit
this basically ^^^^^
in conclusion everything is fine, don't worry, i'll just play games to cope
the snoring stopped, maybe i should try to sleep
#inky's mind#i'm just... so tired#gonna delete this in the morning methinks idk#don't know anything honestly#and i'm so overwhelmed
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