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cherry-leclerc · 3 months

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dirty mouth ☆ cl16

genre: humor, fluff, a tiny bit of smut

word count: 2.5k

Winter break and your boyfriend convinces you to go with him for his annual training in preparation for the new season, and this unleashes a natural disaster when it comes to him.

req!… hope u guys enjoy a bit of pottymouth!charles lol

When your boyfriend first brought up the idea of you tagging along to his winter training you thought, yeah, it doesn’t sound half bad. Sitting by the fireplace - hot chocolate and an overdue book in hand…

“Charles Marc Hervé Perceval Leclerc I am going to kill you,” you screech as you slide down the fast hill, white snow flying all around you from the sudden speed. His heart races fast as he chases after you.

You had begged for hours for him to let you read in peace. It’s all about the experience, he would yodel as he pointed out the window where everyone was skiing. Come on, it’ll be fun.

Given, you wanted him to stop moaning every second - not in that way at least - and so, you complied. “Oh, amore, you look so cute! Wait, hold on, let me take a picture.”

“I look like a stupid snowman,” you growl as you look down at your ski suit. Wincing at the strong flash of his phone, you scrunch your nose. He frowns.

“An adorable snowman.”

As soon as you stepped foot out, you wanted to punch him square in the face. It was so cold that for a moment you thought your limbs would give out. Joris giggles as he snaps a quick Polaroid of you pouting, cheeks the darkest shade a pink. You flip him off before turning to Charles.

“You don’t love me.” He groans, already knowing this card all too well. You hum. “Nuh-uh, you don’t because if you did then you wouldn’t put me in this position.” A smirk slides onto his soft lips.

“Don’t worry, I know a position that will warm you up later.” Your jaw drops. Leaning down to press a kiss onto the tip of your nose, he continues. “And I do love you, don’t be ridiculous.”

You realized he wasn’t going to give in to your pleas to let you turn back around, so you sucked it up and followed him and the boys. Andrea bumps his shoulder against yours, trying to get your attention.

“Vous plaisantez j'espère?” you groan as you fall down into a pile of snow, unbalanced from his delicate nudge. His smile drops. Sorry, sorry! He checks to see if you’re hurt because Lord watch out if you are, Charles would kill him.

“Questo é fantastico,” Joris mutters as he takes another picture. You bite the air. Andrea waves him off before helping you plunge through the snow.

“Please don’t tell Charles,” he begs as you squint your eyes teasingly. Don’t worry, I won’t. I’m fine, aren’t I? Your boyfriend’ trainer silently thanks you. “I was just trying to ask if you were ready?” He wiggles his dark brows.

“Ready for what?” You look around. “To freeze my ass off?” He stops dead in his tracks. “Oh! You mean to go to the bunny slope!” Cheerfully, you clap, wide grin stretched onto your lips. “I’m kind of scared, but it’s for beginners so I think I’ll be okay. Plus, you guys will all be there.”

Andrea shakes his head, almost seeming disappointed. “Charles, Charles, Charles…”

“Charles what?”

“We’re here!” Looking up at your boyfriend, he buzzes as he points up at the ski lift. Your smile drops. Angrily, you struggle to make your way up to him before smacking his shoulder.

“You said the bunny slope!”

He grimaces. “I know, I know, but you need to feel the rush!” He tries to kiss you but you swiftly turn your head causing him to smack his lips right onto your helmet. “I know you’re mad-”

“Of course I’m mad, you lied. I can’t go up there.” Huffing, you cross your arms. He winces at your tone.

“Chérie, but I’ll be there with you! Joris, Andrea, Antonio, me…” He coolly raises his brows. “We’ll keep you safe.”

You scoff. “Better start planning my funeral.”

“You’ll be fine, let’s go.”

“Alright baby, bend your knees - come on - you know how to do that,” he teases with a cocky tone. The boys groan as they cover their ears and you burn bright red. He throws his head back laughing as he continues. “Lean a bit toward, too.” He suppresses another dirty joke when you throw the ski poles all frustrated.

“I’m not doing this if you keep this up.”

“Okay, okay, I’m done,” he promises as he hands them back to you. After a bit more coaching from all of them, you nod.

“Lots of mansplaining, but I guess I could give it a shot.” You narrow your eyes at your friends. “Promise you guys will go after me if I can’t stop?”

Promise, they repeat in unison.

“Pro?” a teenage boy asks as he looks you up and down. Charles clenches his jaw as he steps in. She is. His voice comes out harsh and the worker just raises his arms up in defense before winking over at you. Have fun.

Dragging you away, you squeal as you try to keep up. “He was only being nice!” Nice my ass, he sourly grunts as he makes sure your feet are secure. You pout. “And I’m not a professional, you stinky liar.” You roll your eyes. “Guess that’s all you know how to do today - lie.”

Playfully, he mimics your movements, then he smacks your ass. “Be a good girl and show us all what you learned.” You squirm at his words before nodding.

Knees slightly bent, like how they are when you bounce up and down around his thick cock.

Lean forward, like when you press your naked chest against his own and he kisses you until your lips burn out.

Everything somehow led back to moments between you and the Monegasque and maybe that’s what made you far too unfocused that you missed your step and started sliding down the hill before you even had a chance to notice.

“Guys!” you wail as you fly past by them with their jaws on the floor. “You group of liars!”

The brunette quickly snaps out of it and chases after you, avidly skiing past other skiers. Andrea, Joris and Antonio all follow after him as they breath heavily.

“Turn, baby, turn,” Charles screeches as he clumsily throws out reminders of what he taught you on how to come to a halt. Shift your body weight!

Shutting your eyes for a brief second, you send a quick prayer to the man up above and curse your boyfriend for a lifetime. “I can’t do it, I’m sca- agh!”

You’re barely able to safely swoosh past a group of boys as they all yell at you. Charles flips them off before sliding past them.

“Smile!” Joris demands as he clicks his camera. You little bitch, you shout. Help me, douchebag! “Right.” He’s just about to catch you when all of a sudden he loses his place and falls. “Oh, allez!”

Then comes Antonio who as much as he tries to help, he can’t seem to get close enough. Charles huffs a puff of cold air. “Just grab her!” She keeps getting away, his friend pants.

And Andrea isn’t really trying but he’s definitely in for adrenaline as he cheers for his friends like their own personal cheerleader. Oh, so close!

Joris eventually catches up but can’t do much anymore, apart from start recording. He laughs as you zigzag, arms momentarily flinging through the air.

“No! Keep them still!” Charles yelps, terrified to see you hurt yourself.

“I’m never listening to you ever again, Charles! You never think when it comes to these things, do you?” You tremble from the icy breeze. “Noooo, he never does! Because all he thinks about is fun, fun, fun, fu-”

Next thing you know, you’re crashing into a chunk of snow as you groan from the sudden stop, but nothing hurts. “Oh thank God,” you let out. Patting yourself down, you squint your eyes at the group of men who ease their pace as they grow closer to you. “Dickheads.” You look around. “Where’s Charles?”

Hearing the shutter of a camera go off, you tilt your head in confusion. “Oh yeah,” Joris gasps. “This is definitely going to be shown at your guys’ wedding.”

Feeling something twitch underneath you, you squeal with panic as you try jumping up but only hear a ring of grunts. And you recognize them like the back of your hand.

“Charles?” Taking off his helmet abruptly, he heaves. As soon as he catches his breath, he touches your face carefully. Are you hurt? Are you okay? You throw your arms over him like a koala and kiss his clothed neck. “What do you mean, am I okay, what about you?” He shrugs it off.

“As long as you are.”

You swoon before swatting him all over his chest. This is pure gold, Joris adds as he continues recording.

“Men are all dirty, filthy, scrummy, stupid liars,” you hissed as his large hands tried to ease your hits. “You said you guys would help me!”

His eyes darken. “What do you call what I just did? I basically gave my life for you!” He brushes white snow off his lashes. “I’m lucky to be alive, you brat.”

Dinner that night is filled with snarky remarks from Charles and strong bickering from you.

“If you hadn’t forced me then I wouldn’t be bitching about it!”

His right eye twitches for a split second. “I already said I was sorry! I saved you, be a little thankful.”

The group of friends could tell the tension was growing thicker between the couple as they munch on their food quietly. He just doesn’t have a single cell to help him think about the consequences, you mumble as you bite down on a brussels sprout.

“You know what? How about we all just relax?” Andrea tried to lessen the rigid behavior of his two friends. “How does a trip to the hot tub sound?”

The Monegasque stiffens as soon as you walk out with your tiny bikini. You were a quivering mess, which made you cross your arms to try and warm yourself up, which in return ruined your boyfriend's sanity. He was practically drooling like a dog at the sight of your perfect tits being pressed up.

In a singular motion, Charles removes his shirt, leaving him in only his swim shorts. His large bulge increases your heart tempo as you remind yourself to keep cool since Joris and the rest were still around.

“Mierde, you know what? I forgot the towels.” Joris turns to Andrea and Antonio. “Do you guys mind helping me?” They patiently nod before making their way back into the cabin.

Teeth chattering is all he could hear coming from you, white rings flying in the air as you let out shaky breaths. His arms itch to bring you in and it’s not until he looks into your loopy eyes that he sighs and makes his way over.

He towers over you as his arms wrap around you like the warmest blanket to ever exist. “Are you still mad?” Despite letting him touch you, you still keep your face straight, not letting him be able to read you. “Chérie-”

“I want to get in,” you cut him, creating distance as you dip your toe in first into the hot tub and then the rest. Annoyed, he tsks his tongue before doing the same. Be like that then.

Click.

Turning fast to face the glass door, you vividly catch a glimpse of your friends locking it and closing the curtains. Make amends, Andrea yells out like a strict parent.

“Connards!” Splashing your hands onto the water as a mini tantrum, you moan. The green eyed boy keeps quiet as he watches you. “What are you looking at?” you hiss. Nothing.

You think about climbing out and trying to find a way back in but the hot water feels too good so you decide against it, choosing to enjoy the sensation. As soon as you close your eyes, the brunette starts whistling.

At first you try to tune him out, but it only gets louder from there. Theme From A Summer Place. You recognize it in less than a second. It’s what he always plays for you on the piano as you bake him snickerdoodles. Whether it’s summer or not - it’s a routine.

Your silly resentment grows smaller with every curve his tongue travels through, soft symphonies somehow making you feel more cozy than the actual hot tub.

He could hear the way you tread through the water, but it still catches him by surprise as you climb onto his lap, graceful fingers pushing his long hair back a bit.

“I’m sorry for being a bitch today.”

He chuckles deeply, leaning up to kiss your wet lips. “I’m sorry for almost killing you.” He drums his fingers against your thigh. “It scared me when you lost control…I should’ve just let you stay back.”

“It wasn't right for you to assume that I would be fine skipping the bunny slope and jumping straight into that, but I know you meant no harm.” His jaw ticks.

“Of course I meant no harm, are you kidding me? You dragged my heart along with you when you flew down that hill.” You giggle sweetly, strands of hair sliding off your shoulders. He smiles.

“It’s not entirely your fault.” He quirks his left eyebrow. Blushing, you begin playing with the droplets that sprinkle across his chest. “My mind went…” He whistles seductively. You nod, avoiding his green stare. “Yup.”

“It’s normal, no? I mean you are my girlfriend.”

“But not in a moment like that, Charles! We all nearly died,” you wheeze as you shift on his lap. He grunts.

“And yet, we didn’t.” Turned on by everything about you, he angles his head upward before linking his pink lips to yours. Water droplets tickle your chin as he moves his mouth against your own. Your body temperature increasingly grows heated and not just from the hot tub.

The way he kisses you with such urgency is enough to make your head spin, as if he’s been away for years and just barely got the opportunity to enjoy your pillowy lips. Slowly, you circle your hips as he groans, hands pinching you in return as he grows harder.

“God, I’m so glad you didn’t die,” he mumbles in between your lips. Laughing, you vibrate against him as he cringes at the sudden change. “Anddd you ruined it.” You poke your tongue out.

“Don’t say perverted things then!”

His stare drops. “How is that perverted?”

Shrugging, you climb off his lips as you press a warm kiss against his stubble. “Teasing, Mr. Leclerc. But how about we go up to bed?”

His eyes crinkle at your simple words. “Shoot me in the head if I ever say no to that.” Splashing out of the pool, you giggle as he grabs you, kissing every inch of your glowy skin.

Headboard hits the wall strong and fast as you cry out against his chest, groans flying past his lips as he circles his fingers against your swollen clit.

From downstairs, the boys grab Charles’ car keys as they hurry out the door.

“Andrea, what were you thinking?”

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kamaluhkhan · 8 months

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ours are the moments i play in the dark

pairing: conrad fisher x fem!reader

summary: you come back to cousins beach after a few years away. conrad is not particularly happy that you're back - and you aren't particularly thrilled, either. too bad there's a history (chemistry?) neither of you can deny.

warnings: ANGST (im so sorry in advance...); flashback is from conrad's POV and the rest is from reader's perspective; mentions of sex + losing virginities (nothing too detailed/graphic); reader has an ex who's referred to with gender neutral pronouns; reader and other characters drink alcohol (pomegranate margaritas ;) ); hints of alcoholism (reader's mother); jealous reader who's trying her best; pining conrad who's a bit of a jerk; reader and conrad fight A Lot (they will make up eventually i promise!!)

tags: @stargirlsirius-recs, @ifilwtmfc, @qwertyb2577, @allnrsnz, @baconeggndcheez, @peanutbelley, @imogen-skye, @geekinthefuschiahair, @tvije, @drikawinchester, @maybankslover, @junnniiieee07, @elcpsstuff, @fangirl-kimora, @redbierd, @starkeylover

a/n: thank you so much for all the love on my conrad series so far! i love these characters and writing their stories, and it means so much that others are enjoying reading my work. there is one more part left and i promise it will be happier so stay tuned :)) i haven't watched the last two episodes of season 2, but i'm planning on writing a bit for that, too!! thank you x infinity ♡

part one | part two

i lost a friend / like keys in a sofa / like a wallet in the backseat / like ice in the summer heat (finneas, "i lost a friend")

now — summer, age 18

“you know, you guys aren’t fooling anyone.”

“and what exactly do you mean by that, steven?” you challenge, taking another sip of your soda.

it’s the fourth of july and susannah invited you over for her annual celebration. susannah always hosted fun parties, so you were more than happy to accept because it meant eating some good food, listening to an upbeat playlist, watching some fireworks, and just relaxing. essentially, susannah always delivered the best of summer, rolled into a carefully planned event.

the sun was shining, and everyone was having a good time, including you — at least, until you saw conrad and nicole in the pool, engaging in some serious PDA. you immediately got out of the pool and went to sulk near the drink table, where you were happily alone until steven came over to join you.

“i’m just saying, man. you and con are definitely going out of your way to prove that you’re mad at each other,” steven explains. “but we all know how much you care about each other.”

steven is right about the first part: you and conrad had done your best to avoid each other since the incident at nicole’s party and its fallout. if you and jeremiah had planned to go surfing and he invited conrad, you would always back out at the last minute. if you were over at the fishers helping belly pick out an outfit for a date with cam, conrad would conveniently stay in his room. not to mention, any time the two of you did cross paths — which was rare, but jeremiah and belly were persistent in requesting that all five of you spend time together, like the old days, they would say — it resulted in meaningless, petty arguments. the two of you had always been competitive and very comfortable teasing each other, but the difference was that now, your interactions were no longer good-natured.

you thought steven, belly, and jeremiah hadn’t noticed, but you should have given them more credit. to anyone who knew you, it was pretty obvious that something was up between you and conrad, even if they didn’t know what exactly it was.

“there’s a thin line between love and hate. and right now you guys are that line.”

“thank you for your insight,” you say sarcastically. “be sure to include that in your college essay — i’m sure princeton would love to have you.”

steven rolls his eyes at you, just as nicole arrives at the drink table.

“hey guys,” she greets. she reaches over to grab two cans of peach iced tea before you stop her.

“conrad’s allergic to peaches,” you say. “so you might wanna get him something else.”

nicole looks at you for a second before nodding and reaching for a can of sprite instead.

“thanks,” she says as she walks away.

once she’s gone, steven gives you a pointed look.

“what?” you scoff.

steven just shakes his head. “love and hate,” he muses, leaving you to join his parents and shayla near the pool.

you then decide to go inside briefly, where you find belly and jeremiah, pouring vodka into a blender.

“we’re making pomegranate margaritas!” belly exclaims, practically giddy.

“well, you gotta use the good blender for that.” conrad seems to appear out of nowhere from behind you, instantly reaching for the aforementioned good blender and placing it on the counter.

you were already in a sour mood from seeing him with nicole earlier, but belly looks at you with hopeful eyes, and you remember what steven said earlier, so you mentally promise that you would play nice with conrad. you owe belly and the others that much after being absent for so long: a carefree summer, just like the ones you used to know.

you imagine that jeremiah sent conrad a similar pleading look because, miraculously, you and conrad don’t argue with each other as you help mix pomegranate margaritas for everyone. you actually engage in playful banter and laugh at the other’s jokes. you even feel sorry for him when his father, who wasn’t supposed to be here, walks in. you can feel the good mood slipping, so you suggest heading to the beach for a change of scenery.

belly had invited cam and a few more girls who are doing the debutante thing with her, and with steven bringing shayla and conrad bringing nicole (which, you are totally fine with, of course, especially after a pomegranate margarita), you had a pretty solid party forming on the beach, away from the adults.

of all people, belly suggests some drinking games. it’s all a blur of sand, laughter, and vodka spiked fruit juice. once you were all the perfect amount of tired and tipsy, the group settles down, and gigi suggests a different game.

“we should play truth or dare.”

“oh my gosh we should!” belly smiles, tapping your leg enthusiastically. “remember? we used to play it all the time!”

you smile back. “of course i do.”

when you were kids, you, belly, steven, jeremiah, and conrad would play truth or dare any chance you got. it was never very serious, mostly goofy pranks and harmless questions. you had all grown up since then, and somewhere along the way, truth or dare had become less innocent than it used to be.

“y/n,” one of the debs — dara, if you remembered correctly — turns to you. it was the first time your name had been called, and in all honesty, you were perfectly happy just sitting back in the sun and sipping the rest of your drink. “truth or dare?”

you choose truth, mostly to avoid having to get up from your very comfortable seat on the sand.

“are you a virgin?”

your mouth suddenly feels dry. you’re not ashamed of your answer, but it doesn’t help that you can see conrad glaring at you from the corner of your eye. you take another sip of your drink before answering.

“um, not really.”

“it’s yes or no question,” nicole says.

“then my answer’s no,” you declare.

“what?” belly screeches. she sits up straighter to turn towards you, and in the process spills some pomegranate margarita on her dress. “i can’t believe you had sex and didn’t tell me? when? with who? what was it like?” her cheeks are slightly flushed. a sober belly would have likely asked you in private, or at the very least, not in front of people you barely knew. in that moment, you almost regret the pomegranate margaritas.

almost. because maybe it’s the silence and everyone’s expectant stares, or the adrenaline you feel from winning most of the drinking games, or the effects of the drinks themselves, but you convince yourself that it’s as good a time as any to tell the story. a sober you would have known to tread more carefully given the context; that would have been about three pomegranate margaritas ago, though.

“it’s kind of a cliche story, honestly,” you start. “it happened last summer. it was raining that night, so we were hanging out in the back of my teammate’s van, just talking, and one thing led to another….we didn’t plan to do anything, but we got caught in the heat of the moment.” you choose your words carefully, deliberately avoiding eye contact with conrad.

“how was it though?” belly asks, leaning in closer.

you shrug. “a little awkward, i guess? neither of us had sex before then, and we were both figuring stuff out. like, he couldn’t open the condom wrapper because he was so flustered, so i had to help him. it was nice, though,” you admit. “when the rain cleared, we went out to stargaze and fell asleep on the beach.”

belly sighs. “so romantic.”

“you’re right about it being cliche,” steven laughs. he has an arm thrown around shayla, and uses the other to gesture towards conrad. “conrad, man, that sounds almost exactly like your first time.”

you feel your entire body heat up, and it's not because of the sun shining down on you. conrad’s gaze finally meets yours — for a split second only, but it’s enough for steven to notice.

“holy shit! it all makes sense now!” steven exclaims, suddenly standing up.

jeremiah frowns, looking between you, conrad, and steven. “what makes sense?”

“i’ve been trying to figure out why y/n and conrad have been so weird around each other this summer, but it’s obvious now: they lost their virginities to each other. they had sex!”

nicole stiffens and narrows her eyes at conrad. “you told me you never hooked up with y/n.”

“well, that’s definitely not true.”

“belly,” you warn, looking over to conrad once more. his cheeks are turning red, and you imagine a storm brewing beneath his dark blue eyes.

“i don’t know about last summer,” belly continues, completely oblivious to the tension building. “but i do know that they kissed at your party.”

“i knew it,” nicole scoffs, pushing away from conrad. “i knew it.” with one last poisonous glare towards conrad, she storms off.

conrad sends you an equally poisonous look before chasing after her. the party dissolves shortly after.

feeling defeated, you lie back in the sand, close your eyes, and let the sun shine down on you once more, taking deep breaths to slow down your heart rate.

call it karma or a cruel twist of fate or just a really shitty coincidence, but you’re finally the one left alone on the beach.

then — summer, age 17

conrad was more than a little surprised to see your name appear on his phone. it wasn't like you were completely off the grid — you texted, though infrequently, and followed each other on socials. he scrolled through his instagram feed and saw the occasional picture of you wearing a costume at a halloween party or sipping hot chocolate on a snowy day. photos that never quite fit the image he had of you in his mind: in cutoff denim shorts and a swimsuit and layers of sunscreen, with sand in your hair and popsicle stains on your lips.

“hey,” he answered after only three rings.

"hey fisher, any friday night plans?"

he told you he was working on his college essay.

“homework on a friday night in the middle of summer,” you tsked. “i never realized how much of a nerd you are.”

conrad laughed. “i mean, that’s on you for just realizing that.”

“fair enough,” you hummed, and conrad could practically hear your smile through the phone. “if you’re in the mood for something more fun, look out your window.”

conrad wasn’t quite sure what to expect, but you standing in the driveway of his summer house was pretty low on the list. you waved at him frantically, telling him to hurry up and open his window.

he was still in awe as you climbed through. conrad tried to memorize the image of you then and there, standing in front of him in his bedroom: wearing dolphin shorts and a light jacket, with chipped turquoise nail polish and a bright smile.

"you drove all the way here?"

"well, they haven't cracked the science behind teleportation yet," you say playfully. "so i didn't have many options."

"i can't believe you're here," conrad smiled, and that’s when you finally hugged him. he held on tightly, afraid you would leave at any moment if he let go. you smelled the same, like chlorine and vanilla sugar.

once you broke away from the hug, you pointed towards something behind him, pinned to his bulletin board. conrad followed your gaze and felt his cheeks heat up.

“i missed you, too, connie,” you teased, eyes lingering on the newspaper clipping of your swim team making it to nationals thanks to your record time.

“mom showed it to me,” he explained, the smile on your face making his heart beat out of his chest. “she’s so proud of her little mermaid.”

your smile fell, just a bit, but enough for conrad to notice a shift in your mood. you always did a good job at hiding the weight of the world on your shoulders, at least around the others. not so much around him.

you sighed and sat down on his bed. “you know, after that swim meet, my dad lectured me about not being fast enough,” you explained. “winning by only a millisecond apparently wasn’t enough to impress college scouts, at least according to him.”

“your dad’s a jerk,” conrad said instantly. he sat down next to you. “and an idiot, if he can’t see how amazing you are.”

“thanks, connie,” you whispered. it looked like you were going to say more; instead, you picked up his laptop. “wow, you weren’t kidding when you said you were working on your college essay. you really are a nerd.”

“shut up,” conrad laughed, nudging you with his shoulder and trying to grab the laptop from you.

you nudged him back. “it’s a compliment! schools go crazy for trust fund nerds.”

“yeah, yeah.” conrad waved you off. “so, you’re in cousins for the summer?”

all you did was smile softly and close the laptop, finally handing it back to him.

conrad’s heart burst with joy. because not only were you there — finally there, after all that time away — but you were staying. his mom would always muse about summers in cousins being magical, but conrad didn’t quite believe her until you were gone and he felt that magic fade away.

“do you wanna go downstairs? belly’s watching it happened one night with my mom and laurel.”

“as much as i love susannah’s favourite movie,” you started, and conrad’s heart soared again at you remembering his mom’s favourite movie. “i thought maybe it could just be the two of us tonight? maybe we could go for a drive.”

that’s how the two of you ended up at mermaid grove — a secluded stretch of beach about an hour away from your houses. it was near the mall your mothers sometimes went to, and during one of those excursions when you were young, all the kids wandered off and found it. the only time you’d been there was during the day and with jeremiah, belly, steven, and your siblings, so it felt different then, at night with just the two of you.

it started raining on the drive over — which only took 45 minutes without traffic — so you were hanging out in the back of your van. the van actually belonged to one of your teammate’s cousin who was somewhat of a hippie, you said, which explained the smell of weed and bohemian decor — battery powered rainbow fairy lights, colourful pillows, an elaborately patterned tapestry. the space was definitely intimate, or maybe it felt that way because you and conrad were sitting as close as possible to each other, shoulders touching and one of your legs tangled with his. he was scrolling through the pictures on your phone of your last swim meet in california, where you'd gotten the chance to visit stanford, while you were peeling an orange.

"you would love it there, connie,” you gushed. you dug your fingers into the orange peel, and the smell of citrus started to fill the air. “the beaches are beautiful and the waves are amazing. it’s like, always summer.”

conrad sometimes felt like summer was the only season of the year that he was truly awake, truly living. everything else felt like a dream, one that he would always describe to you in mundane detail; conrad even kept a small journal throughout the year, writing things down that he needed to tell you once you reunited every june. but one journal had turned to two, almost three, and conrad was trying really hard to not resent you for that.

“anyways, i think i’m going to apply in the fall.”

conrad stopped scrolling through your phone, pausing at a picture you had taken of a lemon tree. “doesn’t your dad have princeton lined up?”

“you make it sound like he bought my way in, when it was actually hours and hours and hours of training to get that scholarship. on the national best swim team.” you mimicked your father’s patronising tone for that last part; conrad hadn’t seen him in years, and he could still recognize it.

“you’re right, though. my dad would flip his shit. even if i got in with a scholarship, it’s so far away and i have the twins to look after, but a girl can dream, right?”

“i feel that,” conrad assured. you gave him a sad smile, knowing that his dad was as intense about football as yours was about swimming. the worst part was that you both loved your respective sports, until they became a burden. you both had other burdens to deal with, too, when it came to your families.

“in an ideal world, the two of us wouldn’t have to worry about anything else. we’d live in a place by the beach, surf every day, and hang out in the sun while sipping ice-cold, fresh lemonade.” just like we used to, conrad added in his head.

“in an ideal world,” you agreed. “we’d also adopt four dogs, each named after one of the beatles. you can teach them how to play the guitar.”

conrad laughed. “if i couldn’t teach you, there is no way i can teach one dog, let alone four.”

“well, they wouldn’t get distracted by your dreamy blue eyes like i did.” you winked at conrad, and handed him the freshly peeled orange before he even had time to blush.

“take it,” he protested. “you drove all this way — you should eat something.”

you shook your head and placed the orange in his hand before you pulled out another fruit from your bag. “i picked some of these up on the way here — best peaches on the east coast.” you took a big bite. “remember the summer we found out that you had a mild peach allergy?” you asked, juice dripping down your chin. you wiped it with the sleeve of the varsity jacket you wore.

conrad laughed at the memory. belly and steven had brought back candy from their trip to toronto. conrad practically inhaled an entire bag of fuzzy peaches, and didn’t realize that they weren’t supposed to make your mouth itchy — the “fuzzy” part wasn’t literal. that felt like so long ago, but there you and conrad were, settling back into each other like no time had passed.

as the night grew darker, you and conrad shifted closer to each other. conrad ate orange slice after orange slice as you devoured your peach, all while looking through the photos on your phone. you’d occasionally interject with a short story or comment, and there were still raindrops falling on the roof, but for the most part, there was nothing but a comfortable silence between you.

you moved to wrap the orange peel and peach pit in a napkin, just as conrad swiped onto a photo of someone kissing your cheek.

“who’s that?”

you leaned over to check. “oh. that’s sam.”

“are you dating?” conrad asked, trying to seem casual about it. just a friend asking another friend about their romantic situation. as a friend.

“we were,” you explained, sitting back next to him. “they broke up with me a few months ago.”

conrad sighed in relief, which he hoped you didn’t notice. “sorry.”

you shrugged. “it’s fine. apparently i’m emotionally distant.”

that wasn’t much of a surprise to conrad. sam might have been an idiot for breaking up with you, but they were spot on with the emotionally distant part. out of all the time you’d known each other, conrad had only seen you cry once, maybe twice. you were usually the one wiping away tears and putting on a brave face, inadvertently, or maybe purposefully, hiding your own vulnerability.

still, that wasn’t something conrad was about to stir up.

“what? you?” he joked instead.

“shut up,” you said, rolling your eyes, but the wry smile on your face gave you away. “how about you? broke any hearts this past year?”

conrad thought for a moment. there was aubrey, who his football teammate said had a major crush on him. they had been texting for a while now, and were on the edge of maybe becoming something. but then, there you were, stirring up feelings conrad had long buried — or, at least, tried to. if part of his head was always in summer, then part of his heart always belonged to you.

“no.”

“got your heart broken?”

he thought back to a few weeks ago, when he ran into your mom at the grocery store, and she said you wouldn’t be coming to cousins again that summer. you hadn’t spoken at all to each other for a month or two before that.

“no,” he lied.

you hummed, and took your phone away from him.

“wanna hear something trippy?” you asked suddenly. you always had a knack for changing the course of a conversation to where you wanted it to go.

“what?”

“well, since it takes a while for light from space to reach us, when we stargaze, we’re actually looking back in time. like, the star that’s closest to earth — other than the sun — is four light years away. or is it five?” you paused. “anyways, if the sky was clear and we could see that star, it would mean we’d actually be looking at that star from summer, five years ago.”

“very trippy,” conrad agreed. “it’s like a cosmic time machine.”

you hummed. “do you ever wonder what our past selves back then, at like 12 or 13, would think of us now? i think about those summers and how magical they felt.”

magical. you turned to smile at him softly, and conrad couldn't help but agree.

“i always thought you’d be my first kiss,” you whispered.

that threw conrad off guard, and it took him a few seconds to regain balance. the van suddenly felt too small and the lingering scent of fruit shared between you two, mixed with the familiar smell of chlorine and vanilla from how close you were sitting to him, became overwhelming. his heart was beating out of his chest — not because he didn’t feel the same way, but because he did.

conrad knew what his 13 year old self would think of him now: he’d be up in arms over his awkward pause, screaming to finally tell you how he felt then, and how those feelings hadn’t really left. how you made him feel safe, excited, confused and angry. how there was a space in his heart just for you, and it was painfully empty when you left, but now that you’re there again —

“sorry,” you said, cutting through the silence. you subtly shifted away from conrad. “i didn’t mean to make things weird.”

“you didn’t,” conrad answered instantly. he registered how you were now slightly hunched over and brought your knees to your chest, how you bit your lip and avoided eye contact — a few hints that you felt uncomfortable, deflated even at his lack of response.

so, he moved closer to you and gently placed a hand on your knee.

“you didn’t make things weird,” conrad assured once more. you were brave, he decided: for a lot of things you did, but right then for being so honest, so vulnerable. it inspired him to do the same. “i mean, this might make things weird, but i always thought you’d be my first…you know. at least, ever since i knew what sex even was.”

you finally turned towards him, your lips slightly parted.

“yeah,” you breathed. “me too.”

conrad’s eyes flicked to your lips, then back to your eyes.

“do you still want to —”

“yes. i - i mean, no pressure, but if you still want to —”

“i do.”

you smiled then and conrad felt himself do the same.

when you kissed for the first time, it was like rainclouds parted and the stars came out, shining bright in infinite darkness. the two of you became tangled up in each other: you sat in his lap, legs on either side of his waist, your chests pressed together and your fingers tangled in his hair, which drove him crazy. conrad let his hands explore your body, gently grazing the skin under your shirt. his lips tingled from the remnants of peach juice on yours, but he kept kissing you.

it was awkward and exhilarating at the same time. you asked each other if what you were doing felt good and right and were slightly embarrassed if the answer was no, but still adjusted if needed. at one point, conrad was fumbling with the condom wrapper and you had to open it with your teeth; he jokingly pointed out how you used to do the same with packs of sour patch kids and you giggled before kissing him again.

the two of you lay down on the floor once you were done. your head rested on conrad’s chest and he had his arm around you, idly tracing shapes on your skin with his fingertips. he craned his neck down to look at you.

even in the dim lighting and after years apart, you looked the same. even if you’d never been that close before, at least not in the same way you had just been, you felt familiar.

you tilted you head towards him and smiled.

“what?”

there was something about the way you looked at him that still made him blush, and conrad hoped that with the lack of bright light, you wouldn’t notice.

“sounds like the rain stopped,” he said. “wanna go stargazing?”

it was slightly chilly, so you let conrad borrow your varsity jacket, even if it didn’t fit perfectly. the sky was clear and full of stars. you spent the rest of the night there together, on the beach.

in the morning, conrad woke up before you. he watched as you took slow, deep breaths with your eyes still closed. you looked so peaceful — until the sound of your alarm prompted you to wake up.

“shit,” you exhaled, your eyes wide once you noticed the sun had risen. “what time is it?”

you searched frantically for your phone, only to find it right next to you.

“shit,” you repeated once you checked the time. you stood up right away, sand kicking from underneath your feet. “this is bad.”

“what —”

conrad didn’t have time to even ask you what was wrong because you bolted to the van. he followed you.

“what’s wrong?”

you looked at conrad, brows furrowed. “i have to go. i don’t want to leave you, but i have to go.”

“it’s okay,” conrad reassured. he stepped closer to you and placed a hand on your cheek. “i’ll be here when you get back.”

“i’m…” you step away from him. “i’m not coming back.”

“what do you mean?” he tried to steady his voice, but a dangerous mix of hurt and anger threatened to wash over him. conrad’s heart dropped, knowing all too well what was likely coming next, but he hoped, wished, that it wouldn’t be like before.

“i’ve got a swim meet in boston,” you exhaled. “but i can drive you home on my way there.”

“you’ll come back to cousins after,” conrad declared, as if saying it out could change what would happen next. “you said you’d be here for the summer.”

you shrugged, stumbling over your words. “technically, i didn’t say that. you just assumed and — ”

“and you wanted me to believe it, right?”

you closed your eyes and took a deep breath. “just — let me drive you home, connie.”

the use of his childhood nickname — the one he secretly despised, except when it came from you — was what made him snap.

“i should have known,” he snarled. “god, i should have known. you don’t care about me, about us. swimming over everything, right?”

“that’s not true.” your eyes opened, but you still wouldn’t meet his gaze. “i do care, but you know the pressure i’m under —”

“fine. you want to talk about pressure?” conrad laughed, bitterly, all his frustration bleeding out and pooling at your feet. “my mom had cancer, and you couldn’t even be there for me. texts and phone calls only do so much when you’re watching the woman who raised you wither away to nothing.”

your eyes softened slightly, finally looking at him. you took a step forward, but conrad took another two back.

“conrad —”

“no. don’t,” he snapped, making you stop. “why did you even come here?”

“i was close by and…” you paused. “i guess i just needed to come back, even just for a bit.”

"figures," conrad scoffed. “you only care when it’s convenient.”

“that’s not true,” you repeated.

conrad waited a second for you say something more, but you didn’t.

“well, i’m really glad you got what you needed,” he mocked. “tell me, does nostalgia and sex help you swim faster? impress college scouts? make daddy proud of you?”

you stiffened slightly. “don’t be an asshole.”

“no, no. congratulations!” he clapped to emphasize his point. “i’m so glad i could help you! guess you just needed a quick fuck before your big competition for some good luck. hope it works out in your favour.”

there was so much venom laced in his words, and he could tell you noticed. you looked at him like he was a stranger.

“fuck you,” you finally said. your voice was shaking slightly and it looked like tears were forming in your eyes. “you can walk home, for all i care.”

without another word, you got into the car and drove away. conrad watched your car become smaller in the distance as he stood alone at the beach, wearing your jacket and replaying every word he said.

now

it’s hours after susannah’s fourth of july celebration. the adrenaline and alcohol from early wore off, and you’re sitting on your front porch, sipping tea from your favourite mug. you were hoping to relax, but the sight of conrad fisher storming up to you threatens that.

“where do you get off, saying what you did earlier?”

even under the low light of the porch, you can see that his face is red with anger. he came here to argue, but you’re too tired to really care.

“well, shit, conrad,” you sigh. “don’t blame me. blame — blame truth or dare and pomegranate margaritas and steven for being so goddamn perceptive.”

“you lied,” he accuses, crossing his arms. “you said you didn’t tell belly about us kissing at nicole’s party.”

“at least i didn’t lie to my girlfriend,” you point out, your voice dull from exhaustion. conrad is momentarily at a loss for words, furrowing his brow even further, so you decide to steer the conversation in another direction — away. “look, i just had to pick up my drunk mother from the bar, so i’m really not in the mood for this conversation.”

you move to leave, but conrad grabs your left wrist before you reach the door. the sudden action startles you, and you release the mug you were holding in your right hand. it falls to the ground, the break clean, and the rest of your tea spills onto the porch. you exhale sharply, turning back to face conrad.

“i don’t care,” he snaps. “you fucked up earlier today. you never should have mentioned that night. talking about it like it actually meant something to you.”

“you know what, conrad? maybe it’s hard for you to believe, but that night actually meant something to me.” you laugh bitterly, feeling more awake than before. “and, yeah, now i’ve spent so much time regretting it. because maybe i hoped that we’d start dating, but even if that didn’t happen, i never expected to lose my best friend.”

conrad rolls his eyes. “i don’t know how you can stand there and call me your best friend. best friends don’t leave each other —”

“fine, i did leave,” you interrupt. your voice is slightly raised, and you can’t help but feel a new rush of adrenaline flowing through your veins. the fact that conrad is standing in front of you, suggesting that you were the one to blame for the hostility between you — that made you frustrated, angry, even.

“i had other shit going on,” you continue. “and maybe i didn’t handle the situation well at first — that’s on me, sure. but i wasn’t the one who ignored texts and sent calls straight to voicemails. i’m not the one who’s spending the summer avoiding everyone who knows them because they’re too scared of others finding out the truth. i don’t know who you are this summer, but i know the real you, conrad.”

“no, you don’t.”

by now, you’ve walked closer, standing only a few inches in front of him. if you reached out, you’d be able to brush the bangs away from his forehead, but you don’t.

“i do know you,” you assert. “in fact, i hate how much i know you. i know that “yesterday” by the beatles is your favourite song, and the first one you learned on the guitar. i know that you’re crazy good at chess, but let jeremiah win sometimes when your dad is watching. i know that you love playing football, but hate that you’re expected to play it. i know that i hurt you last year, so you had to ignore me because that was easier than admitting how you really feel because — because you’re scared.”

“you’re wrong.” conrad stares at you, his gaze heavy on yours.

you shake your head. “i know that you didn’t tell anyone about what happened between us because it meant something to you. and that really scares you, too.”

“you’re…you’re wrong.” conrad’s voice wavers a bit, his eyes soften ever so slightly, and you know you’ve struck a chord.

“i’m not,” you say. “and, honestly? i’m so fucking tired of waiting for you to realize that. i don’t care anymore. whatever was between us during all those summers, it's obviously not here anymore."

“you’re wrong,” he’s like a broken record, stuck on the same lyric.

"stop blaming me for fucking this up," you continue. "it's your mess, too, conrad. and i’m so fucking tired."

it’s late, and it’s dark, and you can’t bring yourself to stay here anymore. without saying anything else, you step over the broken porcelain of your favourite mug and into your house, leaving conrad alone on your poorly lit porch.

when the sun rises and you go outside in the morning, the pieces are gone.

#the summer i turned pretty fic #tsitp season 2 #tsitp fanfic #tsitp #tsitp conrad #conrad fisher #conrad fisher x y/n #conrad fisher x reader #conrad fisher fanfic #conrad fisher imagine #conrad fisher x you #conrad fisher x fem!reader #conrad fisher fluff #conrad fisher angst #the summer i turned pretty #saf writes

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beskarandblasters · 5 months

Text

Me and My Husband

Chapter Six: I Gave Too Much of My Heart Tonight

Married!Din Djarin x F!Reader

Series Masterlist | Series Playlist

Main Masterlist | Din Djarin Masterlist

Synopsis: Din Djarin is doing what any typical Mandalorian would be doing after reclaiming Mandalore, finding a riduur and settling down. He’s still a member of the Guild on Nevarro, taking bounties here and there to support his new family. But when he meets you while you’re working the front desk at an inn on Naboo, he finds himself hooked, feeling like he’s found something new and exciting in his now mundane life. How long can he keep up appearances with his riduur? And how long can he keep his little secret with you?

Series warnings: reader is able-bodied, set post season 3, canon divergent (long live the Razor Crest), some liberties taken with Mandalorian culture/weddings/marriages, infidelity, eventual smut (chapter two!), switches between Reader and Din's POV, no use of y/n

Author’s note: Not that anyone really asked, but this is my favorite chapter 🤍

Chapter summary: Din shows you the experience of a lifetime and crosses off a bucket list item for you.

Word count: 4.5k

Chapter warnings: Din has mediocre sex with his riduur again, talks of having children (it’s not what you think lmao), fingering, oral sex (M and F receiving), vaginal sex, super romantic and loving sex, creampie, fluff

You

This is the longest you’ve gone without seeing each other. It’s been thirty-four rotations. You’re starting to think he was using you for sex all this time. Or what if your reaction to finding out about his wife scared him off? What if he decided he actually loves her and never wants to see you again?

Whenever you’re not at work, whenever your mind is idle you’re thinking about him. Even reading is hard. Your mind wanders at any given moment, wondering where in the galaxy he is, wondering what he’s doing. Maybe he’s fucking his wife. He never told you if they did that stuff or not. Maybe he’s somewhere else in the galaxy, poorly flirting with some other woman. Maybe he’s starting a whole new fling and conveniently leaving out the part about his wife like he did with you. Maybe he’s bringing some other woman to his house on Nevarro. Maybe he’s listening to someone else’s hopes, dreams, and desires. Maybe he’s got another woman underneath him, coming inside her. Maybe he’s-

Stop. You’ll drive yourself mad.

All you can do is try not to wonder about him and live your life.

Din

To say that he’s getting antsy would be an understatement. All of his time has been occupied by May and Bo-Katan, rebuilding the infrastructure of Mandalore. Yes, it’s an important task but the Eye of Aldhani is happening soon. And there’s not a single thing in the galaxy that will stop him from taking you to see it. Tomorrow is the latest he could possibly leave to come pick you up if he doesn’t want to miss the Eye. Time is ticking.

He’s standing outside with May, telling her he’s leaving tomorrow. He’s never been good with telling her when he’s leaving with any notice.

“I’m leaving tomorrow, May,” he tells her as they’re standing outside.

“Okay… Before you go… Can we make love?” she asks, turning her helmet to look at home, holding Grogu on her hip.

He can’t hold her off any longer. They’ve only done it once. And if he’s going to leave again for several rotations he has to give in. It sounds terrible but he’s not good at faking his attraction or faking his love for her. So if he wants to keep her from getting suspicious this is what he has to do, at least in his mind.

“Sure,” he says, starting to head inside.

“But,” he starts, stopping and turning to face her, “Let’s leave our helmets on.”

He winces in anticipation of her response. Will she be offended? Will she be suspicious? He wants to keep them on because he doesn’t think he can look May in the eye, not after he’s fully committed himself to you. And also because he’s worried the guilt will be on full display all over his face.

“What?”

“I think… I think it’ll be hot.”

“I mean… I guess we’d be really honoring the creed.”

“Right…” he says uneasily.

May puts Grogu down for bed and Din waits in their bedroom. After a moment she appears in the doorframe and asks, “Are we keeping all of the armor on, too?”

He didn’t even think about the armor. He could probably keep it all on but maybe that’s too far. Maybe that will make her suspicious.

“No we can take it off,” he says, after having a moment to contemplate.

“Would you… Would you do it for me?”

Oh. That’s a pretty intimate thing for Mandalorian couples to do; to remove each other’s armor before an act of love. Again, if he says no, it’ll be suspicious.

“Yes,” he says awkwardly, rising to meet her at the door frame.

He meticulously removes her armor, placing it all in a pile on the table in front of their bed. She’s down to her flight suit now, her visor fixed on him.

“Your turn,” she says softly, starting with his cape.

As soon as she removes it his mind is flooded with the memory of you at the springs on Nevarro, drying off with his cape. Kriff, he’s hard now. Oh, how he wishes you were here, removing his armor for him, seeing his naked form for the first time. As she moves down to his thigh armor she sees that he’s hard and lets out a small gasp. It’s not for her but she can think it is. It makes his charade all the more believable.

They’re both down to their flight suits now, standing in front of each other awkwardly. She unzips hers first and he follows, the two of them getting naked at the same time. And now they're naked, wearing only their helmets, feeling different ways about each other entirely. She takes a step towards him, resting her hand on his chest.

“I’m ready,” she says softly. He nods. Time to get this over with.

She moves to the bed, laying down on her back and resting her head on a pillow, legs spread apart and chest moving up and down with deep breaths. She seems nervous too.

At least with the helmet he can close his eyes and pretend it’s you underneath him. This can never come close to you but it’s the best he’s got right now, until he gets to see you tomorrow.

He situates himself between her thighs, giving her entrance a few strokes. She’s extremely wet already and Din can’t gauge what she’s feeling. She’s wet but her body language reads as nervous. And the sad part is, he’s not concerned with why she’s nervous, he’s concerned with whether or not she’s seeing through his facade.

He slides a few fingers in, giving her just enough attention and foreplay to get her ready for him. She’s definitely into it, her body responding to his touch. Her nipples perk up and her sex gets wetter. It doesn’t take long for her to cum, her walls fluttering around his fingers. He pulls his hand from her and strokes his cock, willing it to get hard enough to fuck her. He wonders if she’ll notice that he’s not fully hard but then again she’s only had him one other time and it was so long ago. She’s probably grateful this is happening at all.

And now he’s inside her, gently thrusting in and out, closing his eyes, and pretending you’re here with him instead. He misses you so much it makes his heart ache. Being here with May and pretending she’s you doesn’t even come close to the real thing. But this false bliss he’s created doesn’t last long because in the back of his mind, there’s a small voice reminding him of the guilt, reminding him that May doesn’t deserve this, that she’s a good person. It’s an internal battle and the voice is getting louder, arguing with the part of his mind that’s telling him to keep pretending. He’s not even paying attention to May at this point, too busy trying to drown the voices out.

And then it’s over. He flops down on the bed beside her and… He came inside her without realizing it. Oh kriff, he’s an idiot. What if she gets pregnant? He knows she doesn’t have an implant. If she gets pregnant this is about to make his little secret with you all the more complicated. He won’t be able to leave whenever he wants to whisk you away to some far-off planet. If she gets pregnant and finds out about you, it’ll crush her. She’ll be devastated and Din will become an apostate again. And he will not let that happen, under any circumstances. He knows that feeling all too well and it’s a feeling he would never like to revisit ever again. His creed is the most important thing in his life.

…But if his creed is so important to him… Why is he messing around with you? Why is he playing with fire? Why is he playing such a dangerous game?

“Din?” she asks, ripping him from his thoughts.

“Hm?” he responds, still reeling from his internal struggle.

“You came inside me.”

“Right… Sorry about that.”

“This is kind of a big deal,” she says, sitting up and removing her helmet, setting it on the nightstand beside her.

“We never talked about when we’re going to have warriors of our own,” she says, glancing over at him with tears in her eyes.

He doesn’t take off his helmet. He’s mad at himself that he came inside of her and not you.

“I’m sorry…”

“I don’t know if I’m ready just yet but… I’m happy to know you’re thinking about this,” she says, grabbing his hand.

Oh, he’s thinking about it alright… with another woman.

He gives her hand a squeeze and tells her he’s getting tired. She nods, getting under the covers with him.

She goes to sleep fairly quickly but as for Din, he’s up all night, sick to his stomach that he might’ve just gotten May pregnant. And that he’ll be even more bound to her than he already is. Maybe he’ll get lucky and she won’t actually be pregnant, and isn’t that just fucked up of him?

But eventually, he takes off his helmet and goes to sleep, quelling his racing mind with thoughts of you and how he’ll finally get to hold you soon.

The morning’s been a blur. He barely says goodbye to May and Grogu before taking off, hauling his ass as fast as he can to Naboo.

On the way there he thinks of all the other ways he can give himself to you. Maybe it’s because he came inside May last night and he was to absolve himself of that. Even though she’s his wife he feels like he somehow wronged you by fucking her and coming inside her. And then it dawns on him.

He could show you his face.

No, that’s crazy. That’s the very thing he became an apostate for. But in his opinion, it was worth it for Grogu despite the psychological torment it caused him (not to mention the physical torment from almost drowning in the Mines). If there’s anyone he loves most in the galaxy it’s Grogu and… you. Kriff, is he admitting to himself that he loves you? He might be.

It’s also been so long since he’s seen you… What if you moved on? What if you’ve forgotten all about him? What if you’ve found someone else? He has to find you fast.

It’s the afternoon on Naboo when he lands. He parks near the outskirts of Theed as he’s done several times, practically racing off of the ship. He doesn’t know where you are right now but he has a list of places to check; the inn, your apartment building, and the library. He checks the inn first, anxiously bursting through the doors to find you not at the front desk and swiftly turning on his heel to leave. He heads to your apartment building and to his relief you’re just leaving, bumping into him on the street.

“Ca’tra, I’m here.”

He expects you to greet him warmly, to be happy to see him. But instead, you’re raising your eyebrow at him, mouth contorted into a frown.

“Nice to see you didn’t forget about me.”

“What? I’ve missed you so much.”

“Is that why you waited so long to come back?” you ask, folding your arms.

“No, you don’t understand. I-”

“You think you can just use me for sex? Come here whenever’s convenient for you to fuck me and leave?” you finish, stepping closer and pointing your finger at him.

“You’re cute when you do that,” he chuckles.

“Shut up.”

“I’m serious. Do you know how much it pained me to be apart from you?” he says, interlocking his fingers with yours.

“We have to go, ca’tra. Or else we’ll be late.”

“Why? Where are we going?”

“Aldhani.”

“…What?”

“For the Eye.”

The look on your face melts his heart, a look of pure shock mixed with love. He swears there are tears springing in the corners of your eyes.

“Really?”

“Of course. You said you wanted to see it.”

“…Thank you, Din.”

“Anything for you, ca’tra. But we have to go. You don’t have to work do you?”

“Nope,” you shake your head.

“No time to waste,” he says, taking you by the hand and leading you back towards the Crest.

He’s so excited; excited to make you happy, excited to put a smile on your face, excited to be between your thighs, excited to hold you, excited to just be in your presence. He loves you so much. And he needs you to know that.

He can’t tell you now. He has to wait for the right moment. Kriff, he’s never put this much thought into anything in his life.

“It’ll take us a little bit longer to get there,” he says once he’s in hyperspace.

“Longer than Nevarro?”

“Yes but not by too much,” he says, turning his seat around to face you.

“Thank you again,” you say softly.

“I’d do anything for you, ca’tra.”

You don’t say anything, staring down at your hands in your lap.

“I mean it.”

He takes your hands in his and you look up at him. You’re gazing directly into his eyes even though you can’t tell. When you look at him everything makes sense; every choice that led him to you feels right.

It’s finally time to land on Aldhani. He knows exactly where the best spot to see the Eye is and he can count down to the minute when it will start.

He lands on one of the hilltops along the valley, hastily unbuckling his seatbelt and barreling down the ladder. You follow, giddily running after him and down the exit ramp of the Crest. And you just made it.

One streak of bright green shoots across the sky, leaving a trail of a lighter shade of green in its wake. And then another one, but this time it’s a cerulean blue. Soon enough the nighttime sky is painted with brilliant streaks of turquoise, baby pink, amber, and viridian. You were right. It’s a sight to behold.

He looks over at you, with your face wearing a wide grin, eyes misty with tears. Every single thing that led him to this moment was worth it, it was worth it to see you this happy. He gets a warm feeling in his chest knowing that he’s responsible for making this happen for you, being able to take you to something you’ve wanted to see for so long.

He pulls you into him, resting your head against his beskar breastplate, and wrapping his arms around you. He could stay there forever, holding you and watching the sky. This right here, the Eye, is the best comparison of his love for you; beautiful, rare, a sight he’s never seen, a feeling he’s never felt before. You’re a whirlwind of firsts for him. All of the sex he had before you was meaningless, based on purely a physical need for a release. He’s never had butterflies when he looks upon a face until he met you. He’s never strived so hard for someone else’s happiness. All of the firsts are overwhelming but in a good way. His senses and thoughts are completely encapsulating with you. And it sort of scares him because he’s barely known you for a full cycle, let alone a few months. But what he does know, is that he’s sure his feelings for you are deeper, more profound than anything he’s ever felt.

Eventually, the Eye comes to an end, the brilliant colors fizzling out of the sky. You pull back and look directly into his visor, with so much love in your eyes, and say, “Thank you, Din. I mean it. I really can’t thank you enough.”

“I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again,” he chuckles, “I’d do anything for you.”

He pauses for a moment, bracing himself for your response, and says, “Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum.”

That’s the first time he’s said it and actually meant it.

You

Your eyes widen at his words. The truth is… you do love him back. But he’s married. And are you really about to tell a married man that you love him?

Yes. Yes, you are.

“You don’t have to say it back,” he says, his voice small.

“Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum,” you respond, grabbing his hands.

He squeezes your hands and you swear you hear him let out a sigh of relief. How could he ever think otherwise? You can’t see your face but you know your love for him is worn proudly on your face, hanging in the air like all of the stars in the galaxy.

“You don’t know how relieved I am to hear you say that.”

“It’s just… How I feel,” you smile.

He takes another deep breath and says, “I have something to show you.”

Din

This is it. He’s going to take off his helmet and show you his face. He feels like he’s going to be sick, already spiraling thinking about what your reaction will be.

He leads you back to the Crest, lowering the exit ramp and heading inside. He shuts the ramp, triple-checking it to be entirely sure it’s secure. There can’t be any risk that someone else can see this. Kriff, he’s nervous, his palms growing sweaty underneath the gloves.

“Din? Are you alright?”

“I am,” he affirms, letting out a shaky breath.

“Okay… What’s going on? You’re worrying me.”

“Just… I have to show you something.”

You nod and he brings his hands to the edge of his helmet, slowly starting to pull it off. You throw your hands over your eyes and shout, “Din! What are you doing?”

The modulator hisses as he pulls off the helmet, setting it on a crate in the storage area of the Crest. He walks over to you and says, “Ca’tra, it’s okay,” letting you hear his unmodulated voice for the first time.

He takes your hands in his and moves them away from your face.

“Now open your eyes,” he says softly.

And after a moment you do, an unreadable expression on your face. His eyes search your face for approval, love, desire, joy, something, anything.

“Ca’tra?” he says, his brows furrowing.

“Din, you’re… You’re beautiful,” you say, caressing his face. You stroke his cheeks with your thumbs, running them over his facial hair.

He melts into your touch, his skin feeling as if it’s on fire as you move your fingers across his cheeks.

“I just… I wanted to do this because I want to give myself to you, completely.”

“You mean that?” you ask.

“Of course I do,” he responds, grabbing you by the waist and pulling you into him.

“I’ve never loved someone so much. And… It scares me. But I need you,” he continues, squeezing you tightly.

“I love you, too, Din,” you smile at him.

And kriff, he’s seeing your face, your smile, your beauty without the helmet in the way. He’s taking in your scent for the first time. It’s all intoxicating. He could get drunk off of it. And he hasn’t even kissed you yet. What’s he waiting for?

Finally, at long last, he kisses you. And it’s more than he ever imagined it could be. Sure, he’s kissed May before, but it was always a quick, chaste kiss. But this, this is a real kiss, communicating all of your love for each other.

He needs more of you. He needs to fuck you like this, have you underneath him, looking directly into his eyes. He needs to taste you, lapping at your wetness for the first time. He needs to connect with you on a level he’s never connected with anyone before.

“I need you,” he says, pulling away and looking into your eyes.

You know exactly what he means, nodding with so much love in your eyes, your pupils blown wide.

He kisses you again, this one even more passionate, while pushing you lightly towards the direction of his bunk. You break the kiss to start undressing and he says, “Will you take off my armor for me, ca’tra?”

“Of course, Din,” you respond, kissing him again before starting to remove his armor.

It’s a meticulous task, but you take your time, starting from the top to the bottom until left his in nothing but his flight suit and boots. His armor is stacked in a neat pile in the corner of the room and he takes off his flight suit and boots, setting them beside the armor.

And now you’re standing in front of each other completely bare. His eyes can’t stop scanning up and down your form, finally getting to see all of you through his own eyes. Stars, he gets to touch you without the gloves in the way for once.

Like magnets you two are glued to one other, kissing and grabbing at each other passionately until you’re lying down on the bed. He hovers over you, continuing to kiss you until he moves his lips down your jaw, your neck, your breasts. He stops at your breasts and takes a nipple in his mouth while his hand takes the other. Your breath hitches and you suck in a gasp. All of this is so new for both of you. You’ve had sex countless times but never like this. And now that his helmet’s not in the way he has an oral fixation, wanting to kiss, lick, and nip every inch of you.

He moves his mouth to your other nipple, bringing it to a stiff peak between his lips and his teeth, before moving down your torso. He leaves kisses in his wake, finally getting to what he’s most excited about; eating you out. It’ll be his first time eating anyone out ever. He’s never done this before, not even with May. He's nervous about it, wanting to get it right, wanting to hear you moan, wanting to feel you shake and writhe against his face. Kriff, it’s all he’s been able to think about since he first had you in the alley all those rotations ago.

He licks one long, slow stripe up your cunt and you shiver in response.

“Please, Din,” you whine.

He chuckles against you, sending vibrations through your core.

“Oh, I’m taking my time with you, ca’tra,” he says before licking you again, licking along your folds before finally getting to your clit.

He sucks on the sensitive bundle of nerves slowly, making you arch your back in desperation. He applies more pressure, slowly working you up. Your hands find his hair, gripping his curls as he eats you, and he lets out a primal groan in response.

Kriff, don’t stop doing that, he thinks to himself, his cock getting even harder if that’s somehow possible.

He pulls back for a split second, just to moisten his fingers before slipping two of them inside you. Your grip on his hair tightens and you’re so close to the edge. He can tell by the way your whimpers get more incessant and the deepening arch of your back. You cum against his face and his hand, soaking both of them with your release. He didn’t think he could love this any more than he already did. But once he gets a taste of your cum, your release he’s in bliss. If there’s a heaven, he’s found it, right here between your thighs, completely soaked.

Once you’re done writhing you sit up and look down at him, gasping at the mess you made on his face.

“Oh kriff, I’m sorry,” you say, feeling a little bit embarrassed.

“You’re sorry? Ca’tra, I need you to do that every single day for the rest of my life.”

“Stop, you don’t mean that,” you giggle.

“Oh but I do,” he says, rising and resting on the back of his heels.

He kisses you again, holding the back of your head with his hand, a deep, needy kiss.

You pull back with a wide grin and say, “Your turn.”

“Oh you don’t have to,” he says sheepishly.

“Oh but I want to,” you respond, sinking to the floor.

He moves to the edge of the bunk, sitting with a wide stance while you take his already hard cock in your hand. You give it a few strokes as you kiss along his groin, inching your way closer and closer to his cock.

You swirl your tongue around underneath his foreskin and the tip slowly before taking his length in your mouth. He groans, panting at the slow motions of your head. You lay your tongue flat on the underside of his cock, wrapping your hand around the base and stroking it. You bob your head up and down, inching him towards the edge until he stops grabbing your face with his hands on each side of your head.

“Need you. Now,” he says.

You nod and rise from the floor, straddling him and sinking down onto his cock. You wrap your legs around his torso, grinding against him until cock is buried as deep as it can go. And now you’re face to face with each other, looking into one another’s eyes as you become one, intertwined together in a harmonious cycle like all of the stars, planets, nebulas, everything in the galaxy.

His pupils are wide, leaving only a small ring of warm brown as he gazes at you in awe, a literal goddess before him grinding against him.

You cum together, kissing each other deeply when you do, moaning into each other’s mouths. It’s intense. He realizes that this is more than just sex for him, it’s an act of love, the greatest love he’s ever known.

When you’re done you rest against him and he wraps his arms around you, stroking your back softly and replaying the night’s events in his head, everything from watching the Eye, to telling you he loves you, until now.

“Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum,” he says, kissing the top of your head.

You pull back and look at him, repeating the phrase. He knows you mean it with all of your heart.

And so the two of you spend the rest of the night in a cycle; resting, admiring each other, and having sex again. When you lay down you’re intertwined with each other. You can’t keep your hands or your eyes off his face, stroking his cheeks, trailing your pinking along the bridge of his nose, running your hands through his hair, and telling him how beautiful he is.

Eventually when your core and your legs can’t take anymore, you sleep, holding each other without a care in the galaxy.

All is well, for now.

Chapter Seven

Graphic by @nostalxgic

Banners + divider by @saradika

MAMH tag list: @wannab-urs @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @catchallfangirl @noxturnalpascal @nervoushottee @mandoisapunk @pr0ximamidnight @angel-in-beskar @dameron-grant-spector @xdaddysprincessxx @drewharrisonwriter @milly-louise @engie115 @survivingandenduring @unit-1021 @rentaldarling @csarab615 @swiftiegirliepop @spookyxsam @missladym1981 @kittenlittle24 @pedroslittlelady @decembermidnight @harriedandharassed @handspunyarns @midnightnoiserose @devineconjuring @sarap-77 @jbb-sgr

#din djarin x reader #din djarin fanfiction #din djarin smut #mamh #the mandalorian fanfiction #star wars #star wars fanfiction #starwarsficnetwork #pedrostories #pedro pascal character fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #din djarin #din djarin x f!reader #din djarin x you #the mandalorian #the mandalorian x fem!reader

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annerbhp · 6 months

Text

So who remembers the Four Seasons Landscaping press conference debacle of November 7th, 2020? You know, the one held across the street from the sex shop. And the endless memes after of “imagine your OTP: who owns the landscaping company and who owns the sex shop”?

Well, yeah, I wrote this thing for it a long while back. And yes, of course I made Harry work at the sex shop and Ginny at the landscaping company. Decided I should just schedule it to post on the next November 7th. Enjoy!

Come Again (Harry/Ginny, meet-cute, Harry works at a sex shop, bad flirting, Ginny’s into it anyway, non-magic world, Teen, no content warnings. Other than, you know, sex shop inventory!)

Harry glances up from his magazine at the sound of the shop door opening. He cursorily looks over the customer—young woman, mid-twenties, red hair, short, athletic build—before returning his attention to the magazine. He’s noticed most customers don’t particularly like the feeling of being watched. Some people flee immediately upon catching him watching them. Especially women.

Sure enough, out of the corner of his eye, he can see her slip down the aisle furthest from the cashier counter, the one full of costumes and larger objects far too difficult for anyone to steal.

“Harry?”

He looks over at Tara near the breakroom at the back where she’s pulling on her coat. “Are you off?” he asks.

“Yeah,” she says, swinging her purse over her shoulder. “Are you sure it’s okay if I take Tuesday morning off?” She’s biting at her lower lip, as thinking his offer was somehow a trap. He wonders what kind of shit she had to put up with at her last job. Or it could just be him. Maybe she’s still trying to get used to him as their manager or something.

“Yes,” he says, forcing his voice patient. “Go get your tooth looked at. I’ll cover the shift, no problem.”

“Thank you,” she says in a rush. She glances over, catching sight of the ginger. “Want me to cover this one before I go?”

“I’ve got it,” he says, and it occurs to him that maybe she’s more nervous about leaving him to do the shift on his own than she is that he’s going to get mad at her for taking the time off.

He’d be offended by that if he hadn’t spent the last three weeks completely in over his head. But he’s starting to get the hang of it now.

Tara waves and leaves out the back.

“So you’re the owner then? You don’t look like a Luna.”

He turns to find the customer standing in front of him. He glances at the big sign out front declaring this store as Luna’s sex toys and more store.

“What? Oh,” he says. “No. I’m just filling in for her for a few months. She’s out on maternity leave. Twins.”

“Ah, so you’re just the understudy,” she says.

“Something like that.”

Pull yourself together, Potter.

“Then you’re…” She waves a finger around in a circle, encompassing the whole store. “In the business?”

He laughs. “No.” He realizes a moment too late how bad that sounded, and rushes on. “She was going to have to shut the shop down or cut her time home, but I’m between careers at the moment, so I figured I could cover for her.” He has no idea why he is spilling his life story out at her, and he considers that maybe Tara had seen what he hadn’t when she’d been so reluctant to leave him on his own. “It’s been a bit of a learning curve, I admit. Though mostly it seems to be about putting customers in categories and treating them accordingly.”

Her eyes narrow, as if sensing an insult towards the kind of people who might come to a shop like this. “Meaning what, exactly?”

“No,” he says, desperately trying to backpedal. “It’s just… Look. It’s like setting expectations? There’s people who come for joke gifts, the people who pretend they are here for joke gifts because they are too embarrassed to want to buy something, the people who know exactly what they want and get right to it, and the people who are here because of rebounds. Each kind of person would prefer to be treated differently: ignored, helped, given stern looks. So it’s just about figuring out which kind of customer they are, so I can make this easiest for them.”

The customer is now frowning at him. “You know that still sounds kind of creepy, even if it makes sense.”

“Studying people is kind of my thing.”

She only looks more alarmed.

“Not in a creepy stalker way! Or in a ‘I want to draw your picture’ way. I was a profiler. You know, criminals?”

“Ah, so now the customers are criminals.”

He would think he just can’t win with this maniacal customer, but she was smiling now, clearly teasing him. “Only if you try to walk off with Gary shoved down your shirt,” he gamely replies.

She turns to follow his gesture, letting out a low laugh at the sight of an enormous oversized novelty cock with a face on the tip. It’s not a ‘I’m nervous and about to break down into a fit of giggles’ laugh either, so Harry is pretty sure this is a customer who won’t mind being offered help.

“So is there anything in particular I can help you find?” he asks.

“You tell me.”

Said in any other tone, that might sound like a come on, but it was more challenging than coy. “Excuse me?” he asks.

“Am I here for a joke gift? Profile me.”

He looks her over, eyes lingering on the details. A new sweater (he could see the strip where the sticker had been removed very recently). Her hair looked freshly cut, the way she touched it said it was not the length she was used to, maybe having cut it off recently. There was the slightest indentation on her ring finger, a faint tan line.

“You’ve recently broken off a long-term relationship, either started when you were both very young, with someone who likes vanilla sex that you found boring, or with someone who was offended by the idea of you using any toys because it felt like cheating and made you get rid of them.”

She stares back at him, eyes wide.

He said it all without thinking, really, just speaking as it came to him, these thoughts about who she was that he might come up with about a case.

“Sorry,” he says, certain he’s just cost Luna a customer. “I’m sure I’m way off.”

“No,” she says, “you’re annoyingly on-point.”

He winces, realizing that’s probably even worse.

Definitely time to try to make a tactful retreat, if at all possible. But before he can back away, she’s speaking again.

“I used to have a Shibari before he made me toss it. Any thoughts on what might be like that? Only better. And bigger. Longer battery life.”

“Uh,” he says, floundering for a moment. Then he walks over to a shelf, pointing at a slim lavender-colored wand vibrator. “I can tell you the mini halo is really popular. But Luna always says it depends on what you’re looking for, not what other people want.”

Her eyebrow lifts, and it occurs to him that he has basically just asked for detail about her sex life. Yup. It’s possible he’s out of his element. He ends up texting Luna, for some reason not wanting to lead this particular customer astray. Not just because she seems pretty great. She deserves to get what she wants after all! Everyone does!

Getting tired of the back and forth, the customer eventually just grabs his phone and texts Luna directly, debating the finer points of the Soul Sucker. The woman’s smile—stupidly lovely, really—No, not appropriate, Harry!—is wider and wider as she gets into a really long exchange with Luna. Ending with a gasp of adoration when Luna apparently texts a picture of her sons.

The text exchange eventually dies down, the customer giving Harry a bald, assessing look.

“What?” he asks, refusing to shift back and forth on his feet, reminding himself of his long career as a criminal investigator—which would mean more if he hadn’t burned out and left with no real plans for anything else he’s going to do instead. Other than manage a sex toy store, apparently.

“She wants to know how you’re doing,” the woman asks. Her eyes narrow as she studies him a bit longer, and, shit, she should consider a career as an interrogator. She nods her head, like coming to a decision and then starts typing away again, this time narrating as she does. “Approachable, only slightly creepy, blushes at a minimum, non-judgmental, but needs an education.”

He lets out a startled laugh, not offended in the least. Actually a better rating than he’d expect. “Trust me, every day in this shop is an education.”

Her eyebrow lifts. “I can only imagine.” She hands his phone back and sweeps up the Soul Sucker and the mini halo too.

Harry helpfully points out the displays of various lubes, letting her head over there by herself as he steps back behind the counter.

A guy comes in then, picking up a pre-order which is thankfully much more straight forward, a package already put together by Tara before she left.

By the time he’s done ringing him up, the woman has made her final selections, putting them down on the counter. He scans each one, slipping them into a bag without looking at them. Not his business!

“And with the five percent break up discount, that comes to….”

“Discount?” she asks. “I don’t need your pity.”

“What?” he asks, feeling like he’s messed up yet another thing. “No, seriously. It’s a thing.” He flips the card with five different set barcodes on it, handing it over to her.

You’re better off without them! – 5% Never too late to figure out what you like! – 5% Congrats on embracing your sexual identity! – 5% You’re a few bucks short, but still deserve joy – 5%

She looks at him in surprise.

He shrugs. “Luna.”

She seems to relax then. “Which one am I getting?”

“Does it matter?” he asks.

She lets out a huff. “Guess not.” She hands over a credit card and he really does his best not to look at her name or anything, but it is sort of a part of credit safety? Or something?

Ginny Weasley. Is her name. It sounds vaguely familiar, though he can’t quite place it.

She signs the receipt, and he passes over the bag. “Have a nice day,” he says, almost automatically.

“Oh, I’d better,” she says, lifting the bag.

He really tries not to blush. He really does. Professional, Potter. Real professional.

Only then she’s giving him a wink and walking towards the door. “Let me know if you ever need help with landscaping,” she says, “so I can return the favor.”

Harry pauses at the strange words, frowning, resisting the urge to look down at his body.

She’s definitely laughing at him now. “The landscaping company next door? Weasley’s Landscaping? It’s where I work. The family business.”

“Oh,” Harry says with a sudden rush of understanding. She works right next door. Where he will likely see her. Again. Quite often. “Right. I definitely will.”

“Great. See you around.”

He can’t help grinning. “Come again!” he calls out after her.

He can hear her laughter as the door shuts behind her.

It takes Harry a while to realize he’s humming as he starts taking stock of the strap-ons inventory.

Just another lovely day in Luna’s shop.

#annerbfic #harry/ginny #ficlet #sex shop au #happy november 7th #four seasons landscaping

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kickbutts-singsongs · 2 months

Text

I know no one asked, but I have exactly zero (0) people to talk about bkdk with irl so here you guys go

My BKDK Journey

Yes, this sounds stupid, but my god it’s been almost three years of an absolute rollercoaster of feelings and denials and tears and revelations…

and if you don’t mind, I’m gonna rant about it.

(not spoiler free)

_____

May 2021

To start off, i wasn’t always a bkdk shipper.

I shipped izu*cha at first (not saying it’s a bad ship btw; it’s actually quite cute. im just afraid people’ll be mad if I accidentally invade their tag lol), primarily because I assumed that would be the ship that became canon.

But also, my veryyyyy leasttttt favorite character… was Bakugou Katsuki.

When I tell you that I would’ve loved nothing more than to somehow spawn into the bnha universe and punch that brat in the face— AGHHHHHHHHHH

Now this wasn’t all his fault: A) I watched the dub first lol, and B) he reminded me of someone that i was not in a place to stand up to at the time, and his constant anger, yelling, and harsh treatment of Izuku—who i began to relate to—made me hateeee him.

There was a time when I literally said “if he died, I wouldn’t miss him.” <- this was later proven false lol

So, I was watching the anime dub with an absolute animosity for our resident deuteragonist, but on top of that…

I was watching it with a friend with a crunchyroll account who lived in another state that I was visiting and staying with for two weeks, so by the time i had to go back home, we’d only gotten up to the part where All Might was getting Inko’s permission to let Izuku stay at the UA dorms.

Anddddddd in my drive to consume more bnha once I got home, i somehow stumbled across an Instagram account that posted bnha sub episodes divided into parts,

but they only had season four and onwards.

Sooooo I never saw the second half of season three… more importantly,

I NEVER SAW DEKU VS KACCHAN 2!!!!!

(I will say that I had seen a couple photos/edits/etc, but I never knew what had been said, or why they fought)

_____

June 2021

At this point in time, I’d been exposed to a lot of the fandom. My fyp on both IG and Pinterest were filled to the brim with all things bnha (because this is what happens when one has a hyperfixation), so I saw a lot of stuff.

Especially fanart.

This is where I started learning about the different ships.

I saw a lot of the side character ships and thought they were adorable (kamijirou, todomomo, even kiribaku), but then I saw some with Izuku.

Izu*cha was a given for me. I didn’t think there was a single person that didn’t ship it. But then I started seeing fanart of ships like tododeku, shindeku, and bakudeku.

And my first reaction to finding out that people shipped my beautiful baby sunshine boi with the person who bullied him for years?????

HELLLLLLLLLLL NO

So with my (unknowingly) limited knowledge of their relationship, i was very much an anti (i never spoke out or anything, i just reallyyyy didn’t like the ship lol)

(And then, you know, I started to see all the bkdk hate online and kinda went “okay not touching that”)

But that began to change…

_____

August 2021

…after I saw a manga leak for the first time.

I was scrolling thru my feed and all of a sudden. BOOM!

I was like 😧

IS THAT IZUKU?????

And i looked in the comments and yes it was.

I checked out the page and found that they had an entire account of manga leaks and was so happy.

I quickly began to read from the very bottom of that account, and it started from right about where Izuku first began his vigilante arc (i had no idea how much was in between then and where I left off on the anime, but I was willing to read it lol)

And so I waited diligently for the leaks every week (a practice I have continued to uphold lol), until one day, i came across an untranslated series of panels from the latest chapter. I looked at it and it was of Katsuki and Izuku, facing each other in the rain (you know the one). I knew the leaks would be coming a day later, but I wanted to look through them anyways, so I did.

I didn’t understand a word they said, but the pictures and imagery of them as kids then middle schoolers then where they were now seemed so touching…

And then I came across a pair of kanji that I recognized.

I was like “wait WHAT???”

I zoomed in and went “that— isn’t that—? That’s part of Midoriya’s name, right???”

And then I was like “wait a second… omg that’s Izuku, isn’t it. That’s the freaking kanji for Izuku.”

And it was!!!!!

So inside I’m having a mini freakout cuz—

Bakugou just called him IZUKU

Fast forward to the next day, and I looked at the translated version, and found out that not only did he call him Izuku,

Freaking

APOLOGIZED

And I was like “huhhhhhhh”

What happened between now and the most recent anime episodes for this to occur???? For Bakugou to do a complete 180 and apologize????????

Well, I finally got my answers…

_____

November 2021

…when I started reading the manga.

I started from the beginning, cuz I wanted to see Horikoshi’s art style and the extra drawings and all the other stuff…

And when I tell you that Katsuki became a whole new character to me—

First, I read everything about early-on Bakugou— without hearing him yell in his dub voice—and realized “oh wow he really is just a kid with issues and a worldview that he’s now having to change.”

Then, I finally read what happened in that space between moving into the dorms and the beginning of season four (most importantly, DvK2).

Cried.

Then, oh then, I got up to where season five ended and the rest of the manga began.

. . .

Funny thing: back when I read the leaks to ch322, I remember thinking to myself, “huh. what did Bakugou mean by Shigaraki making swiss cheese outta him?”

😦

THE WAY I GASPED

AND THEN CRIED

OH MY FREAKING GOD

That was the moment where i truly ceased to hate Katsuki cuz holy character development batman

Then, of course, we see them in recovery

And then the vigilante arc and apology scene *sobs*

And then I was caught up.

(Btw I finished the entire manga up ‘til ch334 in just over a week. I read for nine days straight. During the school year. My emotions were all over the place goodness gracious I could barely concentrate.)

So that’s how I went from being a Bakugou hater to going “you know what he’s a complex character and he’s slowly becoming a better person” and realizing that he was now one of my fav characters and therefore cursed to die but I’ll talk about that later

Was I now a bakudeku shipper?

Hah nope.

_____

December 2021

I began my dive into the true essence of any fandom: fanfiction.

Over the course of winter break, I had started off with fics that had no romantic pairing (I just wanted to see my boi Izuku), but then somehow stumbled across Mastermind: Strategist for Hire and then read the entirety of the For Want of a Nail series (shoutout to Clouds btw ❤️) cuz I was like “ok whew no bkdk fics” which was my mindset at the time.

But somehow (I can’t even remember how I found it) I came across a bkdk fic. It was called For Want of Izuku’s Toe Joint by Talavin (okay now that I think about it there’s probably a simple explanation lol).

I don’t quite know what compelled me to start reading it, but I did.

And I really liked it.

But not in the “I’ve been converted” kinda way.

It was like an “I shouldn’t be enjoying this why am I enjoying this?” kinda feeling. Like my head says no but my heart says yeah.

A really really really really guilty pleasure.

So, from that day on, whenever I came across any form of bkdk media, I would simultaneously feel discomfort and yet an odd sense of satisfaction.

A snippet of my daily life:

Me: *comes across bkdk fanart on pinterest*

Me: eww

Also me: *stares at it for like five minutes straight*

Me: who even likes this?

Also me: *saves pin to my mha board*

Me: not my ship

Also me: *scrolls down to more like this*

Bless my heart I was in such denial.

_____

July 2022

Bit of a timeskip, but nothing of note really happened in those last six months so here we go.

We’ve gotten to the point in the manga where the final arc is underway and Bakugou is about to KICK SOME BUTT

He’s revealed his Panser Strafe support item and I’m gushing about it to my friend (she kinda fell out of the fandom but still tolerated my rants bless her)

Oh, side note: it was then that I also expressed my concern for Bakugou’s “alive” status

Evidence:

For reference, some of my favorite characters are:

Beth March (Little Women)

John Reese (Person of Interest)

Joss Carter (Person of Interest)

Leonard Snart (Arrowverse)

Logan Echolls (Veronica Mars)

Fantine (Les Mis)

Eponine (Les Mis)

Jean Valjean (Les Mis)

Simon (Lord of the Flies)

Piggy (Lord of the Flies)

Grace Stone (Manifest)

Bubaigawara Jin — Twice (BNHA)

Wanna guess which of these guys died?

Trick question! It’s all of them (:

Yeah so anyways those following chapters really made me excited and nervous cuz YEAH KICK HIS ASS BAKUGOU but also IZUKUUUUU WE NEED YOU

hah hah.

_____

August 2022

Utterly gobsmacked. Cried. Disbelief. Horrified. Confusion. Anger. Went through the five stages of grief and then some.

Sometimes I hate being right 🥲

But the good thing that came from this was that my positive view of Katsuki only grew after seeing his utter faith in Izuku (and his thoughts being on him in his final moments???? 🥺🥺🥺)

And it was at this point in time where I could admit to myself “you know what? i see it. i see the appeal. i wouldn’t mind this actually becoming canon.”

Did I think that it would actually become canon?? No.

_____

September 2022

I don’t know how I thought Izuku was gonna react to seeing Katsuki’s body on the ground, but GOOD LORD IT WASNT THAT

Even sweet little blind me realized “oh wow he like really feels intense stuff for Katsuki huh”

(But some things I missed—cuz I was still a bit wired for izu*cha—were shigarakis implications “yeah u looooove the present I got u” and the freaking HEART that blackwhip caused??? when Izuku reeled himself back in???? like how did i miss that i read that chapter like fifteen times??)

So this is all to say that I’ve missed any and all actual bkdk hints up until this point. I finally lifted my head out of the izu*cha fog when…

_____

July 2023

…Ochako and Toga had their chat about romance.

The first actual hint was when Ochako had told Toga “I’ll give you my blood for the rest of my life.”

Little blind me became a bit less blind that day, cuz I was like “um. ochako? that— that sounded kinda like a proposal. like. a marriage proposal. ochako??”

And then those chapters just kept getting better!!

Bebe Ochako’s determination???

The Spirited Away moment?????

“I’m envious of your smile”????????

“YOU REALLY THINK IM CUTE?” “THE CUTEST IN THE WHOLE WORLD” LIKE 😭😭😭😭😭

For the first time, I was looking at the manga without the assumption that izu*cha would be endgame. And it only got better after I…

_____

August 2023

…got Tumblr!!!

Everything was downhill from here folks.

In the best possible way.

I came across some analyses of what was going on with togachako, and consequently led me to some bakudeku analyses. I read them and my goodness they made so much sense.

Like not even just personality-wise!! Those metas brought in actual things Horikoshi said about wanting to go outside the norms of shounen (and about not liking the Naruto ending 💀), and compared bkdk to tropes in different works of fiction, and even discussed how bkdk made sense narratively. They properly convinced me of the ship.

And then for good measure, I reread the manga in its entirety thru a bkdk filter, and lo and behold things took on new meanings and my eyes were opened.

I totally and irrevocably shipped them! And I actually thought they had a chance at being canon!!

(And then I binged so much bkdk fanfiction omg you wouldn’t BELIEVE like I read the ones with the highest kudos first and then just picked the biggest collections I could find and read down the line

It was like being on drugs like each fic gave me more dopamine than the last I was so happy oh my god)

_____

October 2023

And then finally, the day came.

The answer to “is bakugou alive yet?” became a yes.

We screamed. We cried. We jumped for joy. We told bakugou antis to suck it. But most of all, our bkdk hearts soared to see our boys make eye contact with each other for the first time in over a year 🥹

And from that moment on, I truly began to believe that bkdk would indeed become canon.

_____

And so, this concludes my 42672288 page rant about how I came to be a bkdk shipper.

Thank you for reading, and before I go, I want to ask:

How did you guys get into bkdk?

Did you convert over from izu*cha? Or perhaps tododeku? Or maybe kiribaku? Or are you one of the few who have shipped them since the beginning??

In any case, I’m happy you’re here. And while it may have taken me a couple years, I’m happy that I’m here too :)

(and thank you @animelover32456)

#this may just be me screaming into the void #but at least it’s out there #bnha #mha #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bakudeku #bkdk #my bkdk journey #midoriya izuku #bakugou katsuki #my thoughts #and also I’m going to admit without admitting that I might or might not have made some ocs a mere two months after I started bnha…#and the two leads were very much bkdk coded 💀#I was going to make a next gen au and so over the course of two years I carefully crafted 20 students (names personalities and quirks)#and I had some cool villains #honestly some of my quirk ideas were awesome #maybe one day I’ll post some of them… we’ll see #but if anyone asks if I ever made any ocs NO I DIDNT

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honest-moth-of-silver-grove · 18 days

Note

Could I ask for some yandere alucard post season 3 with a s/o that isn't human or only part human? Like being half fae, nymph or siren. I just think the dynamics of that relationship would be quite different then say if the object of his obsession was human given his lack of faith in humanity in season 3s aftermath

A/N: I LOVE this question! It was so interesting to think about all the different ways the MC could be half-human and have that connection with Alucard. I did end up going with a mermaid/siren sort of creature as the original asker did send in an additional ask clarifying how they could picture this abused mermaid girl feeling kinship with Alucard because of his current distrust of humans, and I liked that element. I also chose a siren / mer create as they have abilities to manipulate/hypnotize their prey, an ability Alucard probably has as well with him being half-vampire. I ended up writing a very long outline in bullet points but felt that it didn't quite flow for HC, so I instead broke it up into smaller scenes below. I hope that’s ok. Sorry, it took so long. I was sick with some weird virus for weeks (lowkey feel like it’s mono or something), and could only handle work and family crap, like I barely had any motivation to live. And then when I started writing this, it sort of took on a life of its own lol. (What can I say? I love me some Alucard.)

Anon also suggested I check out this manga- it’s called Becoming the Villain's Family and it’s about a siren who goes back in time and makes a marriage pact with a devil to prevent their untimely fates. I’m not a huge manga reader, but my sister is, so I’m going to recommend it to her and maybe we can read it together.

Yandere! Alucard (Post-S3) w/ A Half-Siren S/O

The fair creature did not see quite how it happened, for it had all transpired too fast. A deep guttural growl echoed from past the tree line, well beyond the corners of her vision as the very ground beneath the wagon’s feet began to shake violently. As swiftly and silently as a flash of lightning, the wagon she resided in was sliced in half, the metal cage that kept her prisoner acting as her only guard against an elongated talon from some sort of monster. The cage was tossed sideways, skittering along the dirt ground as the poor mer creature inside flipped over violently, her dehydrated human form and lack of clothing sending her soft, nearly translucent skin into the square welds hard enough to form bruises.

“Retrieve the asset!”

“Don’t let her escape!”

“Are you crazy?! Fuck the asset!”

Around her, a flurry of mixed male voices shouted out contradictory directions. With only the setting sun for light, it was difficult to make out who had yelled what.

Then came more growls in addition to all the shouting. Then the shouting turned into screaming. And a handful of those screams turned into cut-off cries followed by loud squelching. A flurry of slices and swings from blades and swords interrupted what must have been the creature's onslaught, but it would certainly not last long. There would be more torn flesh, and more final yells- a final symphony of bloodshed to follow.

Kneeling into an upright position, the fair mer creature pushed and pulled frantically against the metal door of her cage. The hinges had warped in the fall, bending just so, that if enough force was applied…

With a metallic screech, the young water maiden could kick her cage door from its battered hinges. Fortunately enough for her, none of her captors seemed to notice her imminent freedom, the lot of them busy battling hideous creatures beyond any comprehensible amalgam or imagination.

Unfortunately for her, her sudden movement did not go unnoticed by one such creature.

A smaller, fiendish-looking thing, with the body of a lizard, but the head of a vulture, and the tail of a scorpion mawed loudly at her, its stinger striking warningly at the ground.

Not needing to be told twice, the young maiden leaped up and made a mad dash for the treeline on the other side of the clearing, opposite the line of creatures.

As she made it past the treeline she watched as one of her imprisoners struck successfully at the rear of the small fiendish creature with the sharp end of a spear. It cut roughly into the monster’s backside, turning the horrid thing’s attention away from her back onto her captors.

Pausing for a mere second, she took one last look at the few men still alive, fighting for their lives against the horrible creatures. Even if they were to win the fight, she swore it would be the last time she saw them. Beasts or no beasts, she was never losing her freedom again.

✧ ✧ ✧

The bottoms of her feet stung with every step, and her calves burned worse every time she jumped over branches, landing on uneven ground. Her thighs were practically numb from the midseason cold, and her time forced to rest on the cold metal bars of her prison certainly did not help. But she refused to stop running. Even if she was unfamiliar with the practice of traveling upright on two extremities, she perished the thought that her inexperience might slow her down. She could not fail. She could not yet rest. Whoever won the fight between her captors and the creatures was certain to follow after her once the battle was done. She could not waste precious time. So despite pain and exhaustion, she pushed onward.

After what felt like an eternity, although, if she were to judge by the moon, it must have only been a few hours, she found her legs could no longer support her weight, as her knees buckled beneath her, slipping on the soft embankment ground.

‘Embankment?’ The maiden, feeling a final surge of hope, strained her neck to get a better look. It did appear that she had made it to a river bank, although it was a rather small one at that. Still, the sight felt like a miracle. It had been too long since her body was submerged, snug, within her element’s embrace. And given the choice between breathing her last breaths on the cold dry forest ground, or under a river’s soft current, she’d choose the river, any day.

Using her arms to pull herself into the cold water, she breathed one final breath of chilled night air before slinking into the river water. Closing her eyes, the young maiden had but one thought:

‘If this is to be my final resting place, then so be it.’

✧ ✧ ✧

The next morning started the same way all mornings do: the sun rose in the sky, the birds and bugs began their daily chirps, and a very forlorn-looking Adrian Tepes, known currently as Alucard, son of Dracula exited his castle in search for food, his usual basket in hand. Unusual however were the two corpses that greeted him as he passed the castle steps.

Alucard paid the bodies no mind, he didn’t once glance in either of their directions. He kept his eyes forward, locked onto the foliage and wildlife hidden within the forest line choosing to pretend the bodies were no longer there. Yes, he knew they were there. Of course, he knew. He was the one to string them up after all. But if he were to acknowledge the corpses' presence, then he would also be required to acknowledge the circumstances that led them to be staked there, and that was something not even the great slayer of Dracula could do. So instead Alucard did what he could: he adjusted the basket in his arms and began mentally preparing the meal he would make.

Coming to the river bank, Alucard felt something was off. He sensed another presence nearby. Kneeling down to the water, he kept his ears open for any movement within the trees but did not hear any.

‘Odd.’ The dhampir waited for a spell before resuming his usual activities. He methodically removed his boots, before rolling up the ends of his pants, as he prepared to wade into the river. He had found a comfortable position, balanced on the river rocks below his feet when he noticed another oddity.

“Where have all the fish gone?”

The river, once teeming with fish, ones even brave enough to stick around as he waded into the water, were nowhere to be seen. Besides the rushing of water over the river bank, Alucard could not hear them swimming around within the water below.

Turning his head, he found a single glint of scales reflecting the morning’s rays a few meters from where he had been standing. But just one fish? Or perhaps, a damn of some kind was preventing them from moving freely. Alucard made a move to investigate closer. But then, just as he turned to do so, what appeared to be an incredibly large fish leaped out of the river, and flopped onto the bank. It writhed around, flopping this way and that before rolling over to face him. It was at that moment Alucard realized why all the other fish had disappeared. There was no damn, no net. It was because of this… this creature.

✧ ✧ ✧

The young mermaid awoke with a start, the deep echo of footsteps underwater had vibrated her awake. From where she lay, her vision was obscured, but she could make it out that the being was human in nature, standing on two legs, with only two arms to boot. It did not possess any claws or animal characteristics like any of the night creatures from the night before, nor did it appear to resemble any of the men who had taken her.

The maiden stayed as still as stone, hoping this new strange human would grow bored of waiting for a meal to catch, turn around, and go home. But luck, as it had proven time and time again as of late, was not on her side.

The man made a move towards her position, and she found she could not help the fear that bubbled up from inside her chest. The river was too small for her to swim through. More so, moving within the water would only create splashes to further catch this stranger’s attention. If she wanted to get away, she’d need to shift back to her human form and make yet another run for it on foot.

Using the strength her long waterlogged rest had given her, she propelled her body out of the water, onto the river bank. As soon as her full body was on land, she writhed and wriggled, doing all she could to shake the excess water from her body.

Her earlier set of legs had once again merged into a fishtail, strong and thick, with grooved fins to match. Her abdomen and chest were plated with scales all up the sides. And as she shook herself dry, several of those scales slid off her body into the dirt. Her ears, previously flesh and pointed more like an elf’s, had pulled back, with loose tentacle-like fins spouting out around their outer shell. In the daylight, she knew there was no mistaking what she was. But if she was to change her form quickly, it was a risk she needed to take.

Despite the morning's warm sun, her body did not dry as fast as she had hoped. The maiden used her arms, and her now-clawed fingers to pull herself up further, finally gaining purchase on one bark of a tree, as she did her best to twist around and face this stranger head-on.

Letting out a hiss, she bore her fangs at the strange blonde man standing before her. Only the man did not seem intimidated, nor shocked to see a creature such as herself. If anything, he appeared, at ease. Was this perhaps a trap? She hissed again but found herself on the side of surprise when the seemingly human man bared his own set of fangs and hissed back.

✧ ✧ ✧

‘A mermaid?’ Alucard watched, amused, as the young creature did her best to appear menacing to him. If only she knew, how instead of fear, Alucard felt a rush of reassurance at the sight of her inhuman features.

‘Humans,’ he thought bitterly. It was two humans who had hurt him most of all. Not even his own father’s war on humanity had harmed him the way those two did. His father left him for dead paled in comparison to the shame and torment he carried with him from that one night.

Had a human shown their face on his property, he’d… Well, Alucard was not certain what he would do should they refuse his order to leave. But whatever he decided, it would not be a fate any would enjoy, that’s for certain.

Thankfully, with the very distinct mer-features of this individual, that point was moot. He did not need to threaten disembowelment or an eternity of torture as a spawn, Alucard felt no such need to.

He took a step closer, taking in her unique features. Her eyes were large and dark, almost pure pools of black. He could feel the pull luring him in closer the longer he looked into them. Her skin was almost opaque, despite its color. At certain angles, rays of the morning sun seemed to shine through her body, as opposed to around it. And her tail, no doubt the most impressive of her peculiarities, glinted impressively, making her an almost otherworldly mirage against the browns and greens of the surrounding greenery.

Of course, no sooner than Alucard could admire such an ethereal sight, her tail began to lose some of its luminescence, growing duller by the second. The previously shiny scales that overlapped each other began to flake off, one by one. Down the middle of her tail, from where her belly button would have been on her abdomen had she been a human, what scaled skin remained began to crack, viscously, like a deep fissure that would not heal. The fissure continued to grow in depth and width as Alucard came within feet of her.

She hissed for a second time at his forward movement, but Alucurd was undeterred. Smiling a sort of melancholy smile, he paused before opening up his maw, revealing his impressive fangs with a hiss of his own.

At his revelation, the creature’s demeanor changed abruptly. Gone was the fear and hatred in her eyes, instead replaced by a much more benevolent wonder.

She opened her mouth, the tentacles around her ears shriveling into themselves, her ears changing to a more elven point as they came to rest flatter against her head. Alucard watched as her fangs dissipated too, the sharp canine points rounding themselves down into very simple humanoid-looking teeth. The back of her throat opened and closed, but very little sound came out. If she was trying to communicate, it seemed a verbal conversation was currently off the table.

“I am Alucard Tepes, son of Dracula and Lisa Tepes.” Alucard spoke, taking the lead for her. “And I am not human.”

The mermaid closed her eyes as she leaned back against the tree bark, wincing once or twice as a very slime-covered, human-looking bottom half cracked free from the dried shell of her former tail. She used her hands to pull the husks away from her body, leaving every bit of her person on display.

Alucard cleared his throat before deciding to remove his shirt and give it to her. He tossed the white shirt to the maiden who caught it in one hand. Bringing it in to smell, she sniffed it before looking back at him curiously.

“If you wish to spend the walk back to my castle naked, I won’t stop you. But as I’m sure you’ve learned, people up here spend most of their life clothed.”

She turned her head in the opposite direction as if to say, ‘So?’ before ultimately relenting, pulling the white top over her head.

Making a move to stand, her legs wobbled, giving out underneath her. But before she could fall, by the grace of his vampiric speed, Alucard managed to catch her, one of his arms looping under hers around her shoulder. Upon noticing the sudden conflict, the mermaiden hissed again but made no move to shove him off. Making another choked-off sound, from the back of her throat, she tried speaking again.

“Ghhank hou.” Frowning, she cleared her throat before trying again. “Thgank cou,” her voice was quiet, and yet deep and guttural at the same time as if she was holding back.

“So you can speak,” Alucard commented as he helped her walk a distance, finding her balance.

The young maiden nodded, before shaking her head. “Youg may naught want mee too.” She blinked her large, dark eyes at him, pointing to them, them down to her throat as she did so. “Sssighh-rhen.”

Alucard paused his walking, staring his golden orbs back at her. In the light, the mermaid watched as they glittered and shined, an almost metallic color, reminiscent of pirates’ gold, lulling her into a sense of security. She gave off a warning growl, having caught on to the fact that she was not the only one with influential abilities. Alucard blinked twice, breaking off the trance.

“As I said before,” he reiterated, leading the way back to his castle, “I am not human.”

The mermaiden watched him, as an almost smirk graced her inhumanely beautiful face. “Gooodd,” she hissed out.

✧ ✧ ✧

“That is how the castle came to be in my possession.”

Alucard led the young mermaiden down the many hallways and corridors of the castle, telling her the story of how he, along with Belmont and Sypha, were tasked with defeating Dracula. He stopped to point out various rooms along the way, the ones he was the most familiar with, anyway. There was still much of the castle that felt foreign to him. It was as if he walked the rows of a graveyard, rarely stopping to notice yet another name on a tombstone. How many hands had helped build this place? How much of their blood was shed to gather all the infinite knowledge and wealth that was kept here? Alucard did not know. Nor was he certain he wanted to know.

Walking past the various debris and carnage still left from their battle with Dracula, Alucard ushered her into his father’s former study, now his study. In the middle of the room sat one large rather ornate chair, placed before a cracked fireplace. In the chair was a crumbled blanket and pillow. On the small table next to it, a cold long-forgotten cup of tea. The items together suggested this chair was used in recent days for sleeping, not for sitting and reading or studying of any sort.

The mermaiden narrowed her eyes at that. Surely, even with this battle, Alucard claimed had taken place within his home, there were bedrooms and living quarters left unbothered. Why would someone in possession of such a grand and luxurious home sleep sitting up in a chair? Or perhaps, was it a question of biology, not psychology? Did a being like Alucard require sleep at all?

As the mermaiden contemplated, Alucard kneeled down to start a fire, but not before vaguely gesturing at the crack that ran up the front brick of the fireplace. “As you can see, the fight was not limited to one area or room.”

“Bprokeghn,” the mermaid nodded before gesturing herself to the chair and blanket set-up. “Behd?”

Alucard cleared his throat, as he stoked the beginning flames of the fire. “My room was… damaged, yes.”

Seemingly content with that answer, the mermaiden turned her attention to other parts of the room.

Off to the right there were various bookshelves and texts. And on the left? A modest oak desk sat under a large painting of a beautiful woman. Her hair was golden, almost appearing to glow under the warm hue of the fire’s dancing light. Her eyes were large and hopeful, and her size petite but strong. In her hand, she held a white flower, although its beauty paled in comparison to hers, it was a lovely touch against the dark maroon dress she was wearing.

“Prehty,” she said, stopping to admire the woman in the painting.

Upon hearing her words, Alucard looked up, a soft smile having formed on his face. “Yes,” he said. “She was beautiful.”

Glancing back at the man, the mer creature noticed his hair was blonde and rather lovely as well. Not as gorgeous as her own siren’s locks of course, but that was understandable. She pointed to the hair of the woman in the painting before pointing to her own, and then finally, to his. “Prehty too.”

✧ ✧ ✧

From where he stood in the kitchen, Alucard watched amusedly as the young woman tried taking a bite of her grossly undercooked fish using a knife and fork, stifling a laugh every time she would manage to grip one utensil only to drop the other. Her less-than-human approach to everyday things made Alucard feel at ease. She was not a lying, conniving human he had to watch out for, she was not biding her time waiting to stab him in the back. Quite the contrary: she was blunt and rather oblivious to human social conventions.

She had very little reservations when it came to nudity, Alucard had come to discover. If it wasn’t for his polite, insistence, she would have continued to roam the castle naked. Dwelling deep underwater made her rather immune to things like catching a chill. Alucard was similar, he did not feel the cold the way humans did, although he was not entirely immune to it. He would surely suffer frostbite should he choose to venture outside in the dead of winter without any clothes on his back. However, unlike a human, and more like a vampire, it would take more than freezing exposure to do him in.

It was almost comforting in a way, to share the castle with someone who’s biology was surprisingly close to his. She was more unhuman than human most days, her residual scales and sharp claw-like nails coming back once her body had returned to full-health. Her teeth had also increased in length, although Alucard suspected she could control their sharpness at will to some degree, her opting to keep her incisors short and squared, more human-like, whenever the two would talk walks around outside the castle.

The mermaiden also had an interesting diet. She preferred her food cold, if not raw. Even things like fish and other meats, she refused to eat properly cooked. Alucard briefly recalled the first time he had tried to offer her dinner. He steamed her fish the same way he steamed his, and presented it to her, expecting gratitude. It was humourous now, but back then he recalled being rather dissatisfied with her indignant reaction. She hissed, and berated him for serving her something ‘burnt’, or ‘burrrnt’ as she had called it.

Alucard discovered it was less of a preference and more of a requirement when he found her eagerly licking the blood from a freshly killed and skinned hare he had fetched for dinner. It seemed that she, like him, and like the many other supernatural creatures, had a penchant for blood that was born out of a necessity, and not mere cruelty. With her diet of raw and bloody food, her skin appeared healthier- still as shiny and translucent, but less gray. Her human form’s skin was less cakey and dry, and when she did change back into her tailed form, which was rather often given how much she enjoyed lounging in one of the castle’s large communal baths, her scales shed much less than they had when they first met. Upon her initial arrival at the castle, Alucard found she’d leave scales behind her wherever she walked, the same way a lover might lay out a trail of rose petals. Of course in this case, there was no intimate surprise waiting for him behind closed doors (not that he’d want one given his past circumstances, anyway), but a very brash and temperamental half-siren, usually impatiently awaiting yet another “useless” lesson in human conventions.

“Naught fun-ie,” she hissed, under her breath, well aware of Alucard’s amusement. “No need for toools underwater.” She dropped both her knife and fork unceremoniously onto her plate before crossing her arms, looking like a wilful toddler.

“There’s no one to impress here,” Alucard assured her. “Besides, even without a fork and knife I’m sure you eat like a magistrate compared to Belmont. The rodents outside have more manners.”

“Belmonnt,” the fair maiden repeated, picking up her fish with her bare hands. “Frrend.”

“Yes. Although, I haven’t seen him or Sypha for quite some time.” Alucard answered, just a hint of loneliness creeping into his voice.

“Hadd frend wonss.” Biting into her fish, she tore a chunk of flesh off with her teeth, a satisfied groan leaving her body as some of the excess moisture dribbled down her chin. “Huumann too.” She swallowed her bite of fish down, not bothering to chew much at all. “Dyed.” She licked her lips in satisfaction. “Beectraaid.”

“Wherever humans are concerned, such possibilities are never in short supply.” Alucard agreed, handing her a cloth napkin to wipe her chin. “It is their nature.”

Choking down the rest of her fish, the mermaiden swallowed harshly again before asking, “Owtsighed?” Of course, the two giant stakes housing decayed corpses had not escaped her notice on their way inside.

Alucard retrieved her empty plate, moving to place it in the sink. Closing his eyes, he desperately tried not to remember the feel of the silver cords burning his skin, the way he suffocating under Taka and Sumi’s gaze, how if it were not for his sword and the magical component of it, it’d be his body flayed and strung up outside instead of theirs. Despite not having had anything to chew or eat, Alucard swallowed hard as well.

“Yes,” he finally said.

✧ ✧ ✧

“Where are wee going?” The mermaiden asked, her vocabulary and annunciation having improved much over the last couple of weeks.

Dressed in a relatively sheer nightgown and robe, the young woman begrudgingly followed Alucard, already dressed for the day, as he led her over to the remains of the Belmont hold. Upon reaching the cleverly designed pulley system, Alucard lifted the safety bar of the lift and gestured for her to get in.

The young mer woman bared her teeth but did not hiss, a vast improvement of manners and trust on her part.

“You may recall in the past, I’ve mentioned a man named Belmont, Trevor Belmont.” Alucard set the bar back down, clicking it into place, before pulling one of the levers to begin their descent.

She nodded. “Friend. Miss him.”

Alucard furrowed his brow. “I do not believe I’ve once said I missed his company.”

The young woman shrugged her shoulders, a form of nonverbal human communication she had recently picked up on. “Still,” she wagged a finger, disapprovingly. “Can tell. No want to be alone.”

Having reached the bottom of the lift, Alucard secured the platform before exiting, seemingly eager to remove himself from their current conversation. “I speak his name frequently because he has gifted me a rather large piece of his family’s inheritance for safekeeping. Without my permission, I might add.”

Flicking a large switch on the wall, the mermaiden watched in awe as hundreds of blue flames suddenly sparked alight, illuminating an expansive cavern of towered rows and rows of books and other meticulously organized collections.

“This,” Alucard extended his arm out, showcasing the vastness of the space before them, “Is the Belmont Hold. It possesses all the knowledge the Belmonts learned on creatures of the night, the collection starting generations ago. Everything any Belmont learned has been recorded onto paper, and stored somewhere within these tomes.”

Temporarily blindsided by excitement, the mermaiden found herself quickly making her way down several sets of stairs, her balance thankfully having improved tenfold, as she ignored the darker implications of Alucard’s words.

“So much boooks!” She cried out, settling on entering a random upper row of tomes, pulling one out of the shelf. “So much papper!”

Alucard nodded, coming to join her. “I take it your people do not have much use for such records underwater?”

The young mer woman nodded, running her clawed fingers delicately over the inked pages. “Runes. Maghik. No paper.”

Carefully, Alucard took the book from her hands and placed it back onto the shelf where it belonged. Before the mermaiden could bare her teeth or hiss at him in irritation he had already begun climbing down a nearby ladder, calling for her to follow. “Come. The books are impressive, but they are not what I wish to show you.”

Reaching the lowest level before her, Alucard smiled softly as his eyes were met with the familiar scene of a magic mirror, and open chest. How strange to think he and his friends stood on this very ground when Sypha successfully managed to summon the castle. How strange to think right there, under his feet, was where Adrian Tepes died and Alucard of Wallachia truly began.

There was a time when Alucard believed he and he alone would be the one to ever stand upon this, practically hallowed ground. Belmont was not yet sure if he wished to resume the responsibilities of his namesake. And Sypha, well, Sypha had chosen to follow Belmont in whatever trouble he managed to get himself into. Who knows if they would be back, if they ever intended on coming back? At the end of their journey, there was Alucard, left alone to shoulder the burden of both their families’ legacies.

Trevor had told him not to make the castle his grave, but to use it and the hold to… help people. Such a task seemed near impossible when you were one dhampir, isolated far away from the rest of the world. But then, Alucard reflected, along came Taka and Sumi, and perhaps, he had once thought, he would no longer have to be alone.

They were so eager to learn, but they were also so eager to leave. They did not come intending to stay, Alucard knew this, and yet, he could not help the way he drew their lessons out, making sure to be as detailed as possible. If they must go, he supposed, he could make it so they did not leave for a while. It was foolish to think his desires would go unnoticed by the two humans. More foolish perhaps, to expect them to understand. Alucard had been wrong.

They sensed he was less than forthcoming, Alucard could not deny that was true. But he never lied, not once to them. But in their humanity, in their hurt and in their pain and guilt and anger they felt they were deceived. Perhaps deception was so readily on their mind because they had arrived with a plan to play him for a fool all along.

Either way, it was fatal on their part. Alucard may have wanted them to stay, but he did not need them. They alleviated his loneliness, but they were not necessary companions, not like Trevor or Sypha. They were far too different, far too divested from the line of existence Alucard walked to ever truly understand him. Being human, they ignorantly believed themselves to possess so many options of their own, but as fate had proven: they too were wrong.

But this young woman, this siren, this mermaid, she was different. She did not come seeking him, rather their meeting was entirely accidental. And this time, the playing field was even: she needed him just as much, if not more, than Alucard wanted her. It was different this time. Here, within the Belmont hold and his castle, she was the outsider. And no matter how long she stayed with him, no matter how hard she tried, she would remain less human than Alucard. Next to her, he was not a monster or a beast, no.

At her side, he appeared solely as Wallachia’s savior, Alucard, and he was neither human nor monster.

Coming back to the present moment, Alucard watched silently as the mermaiden approached the glass display case of vampire skulls. He watched as her eyes widened, and her fists clenched, before she spun around, her fangs bared. “Exsplain, now!”

“The Belmonts hunted creatures of the night for centuries. They came to Wallachia hunting Dracula and his army of vampires.”

“You said Belmont friend!”

“He is- was. As I have said to you before, he aided me in my journey to defeat my Father Dracula, to prevent him from securing the extinction of the human race.”

The mermaiden tilted her head to the side. “Buut why? You vampire.”

“Not entirely,” Alucard countered.

The mermaiden’s eyes squinted. “What?”

“The woman in portraits you’ve so admired within the castle, she was my mother, Lisa Tepes, and she was human.”

Enraged, the mermaiden’s face contorted into an expression of anger, her nostrils flaring with every huff of air she took. “Liar!” She accused him, making her way around the side of the cabinet, trying to move past the dhampir without encountering him directly. “You said humans betrayed! You said not like them! You lie!”

“I did not lie. I never told you I was wholly vampire, nor did I once say I was not part human.” Alucard mirrored her movement, cutting her off before she could reach the stairs. “I aided humanity only to be betrayed by humans. I do not belong in their world, nor do they belong in mine.”

“Nor in minesss!” She snarled. “You human. Not friend. Not anymoresss.” Shoving past Alucard she began up the stairs before she felt a hand on her wrist yank her back. Whipping around, she found herself face to face with Alucard, his expression angry, his fangs elongated and on clear display.

“And where will you go? Your human charade may not disturb me but it is bound to alert others. There is no city, no town where you could travel that they would believe you to be one of their own.” His voice was deep, dark, and full of disdain.

“Then I go home,” she retorted. “With othersss like mee.”

“Do you think they will accept you now you’ve lived with a human, lain with a human?”

“Half,” she spit into his face before sneering: “Half huumannn.”

Alucard did not even flinch, entirely unphased by her vulgar action. “Human nonetheless,” he said, the ice in his veins offset only by the golden fire in his eyes. “Not even they would welcome you back now. There is nowhere you can go, no one who would welcome you. I,” he spoke, baring his fangs, “am all you have left. I am the only one who understands.”

The mermaiden opened her mouth to speak, but could not find the words. She closed her mouth before opening it again, still hesitant on how to respond. If it was not as serious of a moment, Alucard would have laughed: she truly looked like a fish out of water.

Careful as not to spook her, he slowly raised one hand, using it to wipe away a stray tear that had fallen from her eyes. How strange a sight to see a siren crying, awful yet beautiful at the same time. Like him, Alucard thought.

“You are the only one who could possibly understand me. You need not ever leave.” Alucard used his other hand to take one of her own, and guide it, resting it atop his chest. “I do not wish to be alone anymore.”

The maiden choked back more tears, shocked she was shedding them in the first place in Alucard’s presence.

Prior to those horrible humans taking her, tears were not something the mermaiden had ever experienced. Living underwater, she was surrounded by saltwater. Even on the occasions she was consumed by great emotion, her eyes behaved no different, felt no different than they did being in their usual full-contact with water as they were everyday. But after she was taken, she found the ability to cry, something she despised. It burned the skin of her cheeks with hot shame, her throat felt too tight for air: the process of crying was foreign, and undeniably painful. She prayed it would not become a normal occurrence for her. She swore the moment she was free of her captors, she would never shed a tear again. And then she met Alucard. And he was…

Sweet. He was kind. He was not an ignorant, vengeful human. Surely, he would not give her reason to cry. They were of the same kind, she and him. He would harbor no hate for her in his heart.

How foolish of the girl to think hatred was the only feeling capable of creating pain, of making remorse. Afterall, ‘love’ was just as powerful. ‘Love’ was just as dangerous.

Deep down, the young siren knew the dhampir’s words were true: there was nowhere else she could go, there was no one else who would understand her, and care for her the way he did.

In fairness, he was not fully human, he was half vampire, and his father was the great Lord Dracula to boot. He was not simple in the way other humans were. He was not stupid in the way people were. He was educated and well-aware of the fragility of egos, the slow passing of time… He did not look at the world through a mortal lens. The mermaiden knew she could do worse, in choosing someone to trust, in picking someone to rely on.

Then again, he was half-human. She was wise to fear him, to doubt him. He may have meant what he said, when he told her she need not leave, but that did not mean she needn’t want to. But she was so far from home, so far from more of her own kind. Who else left in this region ravaged by night creatures and monsters would open their home to her the way he had? Perhaps it was wiser to stay.

Did she even possess a choice in the matter?

Even withIn the arms of that former stranger, she felt more forsaken than she had when those evil traders first captured her. She felt so alone… Gods…

She, too, wished not to be alone anymore.

“Ssstay.”

“What?” Alucard’s head snapped up at the sound of her words. “Truly?” He could not help the hope that seeped into his voice. “You wish to stay with me?”

Before him, the mermaiden nodded, yet another human expression she had come to love over the past few weeks. “Yessss,” she hissed out, her voice still nasally from her earlier tears. “I ssstay.”

A/N: Holy shit! Almost 8,000 words here. And to think I did it all while fighting the worst virus of my life! (See, THAT just goes to show you how strong my love for Alucard is.

Don’t forget to Like & REBLOG!!!

And if you enjoyed it, feel free to Tip Me on Kofi!

#alucard x reader #alucard castlevania #adrian tepes x reader #alucard tepes x reader #yandere alucard x reader #yandere alucard #alucard imagine #adrian fahrenheit tepes #adrian tepes #tw yandere #tw: yandere #yandere #os #castlevania

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parkerpeter24 · 4 months

Note

hi hi for the winter blurbs: mcu!Peter, prompt list 1: 6&8 (idk if I sent it right but you get it)

you sent it right bestie 🥰

pairing: mcu!peter x reader

winter blurbs 3.0 ❄️ | 3.0 masterlist ❄️

“one normal christmas, that’s all i wanted.”

usually peter found his aunt, may, to be pretty chill. never ever scolding him even for silly mistakes. not even the time he tried to cook popcorn for movie night and almost burnt the house. but right now she looked fed up, almost worried.

it was only fair, she had been working her ass off at feast and it got pretty tough around the holiday season what with the freezing winter and snowfall.

plus he’d given her more than one reason to be mad. he was barely home– going on patrols anytime he wasn’t busy with homework. he often forgot to bring back groceries that may had asked him to and now he had messed up the postcards. she had reminded him four times to post them before the twenty third so that the cards reached everyone on time, but now it was the evening of twenty fourth and all the postcards were kept on the table, untouched since they had been left by her.

peter felt guilt eating at him as he apologised to her.

she sighed, looking at her nephew’s saddened expression, “it’s fine. i guess it’s fine if the cards are a few days late.” she gave him a kind look, returning to her usual self.

“are you sure because i can-” peter stumbled upon his words before getting cut off mid sentence from the sound of the doorbell ringing. the brunette stared at the door for a second before hopping up quickly, “i’ll get it.”

opening the door, he found you with a big grin and two bags in your hands, “merry christmas eve!” you grinned and instantly your arms were around peter. he noticed the snowfall outside and quickly invited you in.

“did you walk here in this cold weather?” your boyfriend asked, his eyes wide and you shrugged.

“cold never bothered me anyway.” you chuckled and went over to greet may and she smiled as you hugged her.

peter’s heart swelled when he noticed how you’d managed to completely change the whole mood of the room just by being in it. you handed one of the bags to may, “i got you a christmas sweater!”

his aunt smiled, taking the bag from your hands and digging in. she pulled out a grey sweater with a red banner in front that read ‘it’s the time to be jolly’ and the twelve reindeers dragging santa’s sleigh. may laughed, looking at the sweater, “thank you, sweetie. you didn’t have to do this.”

“except that i absolutely did!” you grinned and pulled out another sweater from the second bag, “and i got one for peter too.” this one was a green one with lots of candy canes and snowmen printed over it.

peter reached out to take the sweater from your hands and smiled at it, “thanks, i really love this.”

you looked at the postcards placed on the table and then the two of them, “i’m sorry if i interrupted you guys… what were you talking about-”

“nothing important! it was nothing important.” peter quickly interjected, punctuating his sentence with an awkward chuckle, “anyway… how about we go make some hot chocolate?”

“and watch some nice movies! may, you should totally join us.” you smiled at her, taking off your coat to reveal your own red christmas sweater, a huge christmas tree with glimmering lights upon it, making peter laugh.

thankfully, may agreed to your suggestion and the three of you sat on the couch, each with a cup of hot chocolate, spending the best christmas eve– as peter would claim later– and the postcards stayed forgotten for one more day.

masterlist

#peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker imagine #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker fluff #peter parker x y/n #tasm peter x reader #mcu peter parker #mcu spiderman #spider man

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angelwithdemonictendencies · 10 months

Text

i wanted you until the halloween masks all melted down my face; finally the burns are healing, finally i can see you.

am34 x reader: a very different take on older brother’s best friend.

(warnings: NO SMUT! (crazy how that goes in my warnings). only tension, here. no actual smut. lots of family dynamic speak and emotional healing and childhood trauma and stuff of the like, but i promise it has a happy ending - maybe the happiest ending i’ve ever written. be kind to yourself. only read if you’re 100% sure.)

(a/n: let me preface this by saying this is simply a character who’s face-claim is auston. THIS IS NOT MY TAKE ON AUSTON MATTHEWS, SO DO NOT COME AT ME FOR THAT. honestly, i’ll be mad as hell if i get hate about that, so don’t even think about it. i did not proof-read, either. my favorites - i apologize, this is very different than what i normally write. but, right now, i’m not in a place where i can write good smut (trust me, i tried). this is what i can write right now, so i figured something is better than nothing. there is plenty of great smut on this site to go around, i promise. more so than any other of my stories, this fictional you is the star. she is healing and she is growing and she is so, so beautiful, inside and out. please know that this story is very personal to me. and while i refuse to take any hate personally, please be kind. sometimes we make someone up to be perfect as a distraction, like a survival technique. favorites, you and your snakes deserve to grow and heal and love yourself so brutally and wholly. i don’t know if and/or when i’ll see you next, but know i’m thinking of you often and fondly. go canucks. gif is not mine. love always.

it was the smell you noticed first, as you arrived back. your childhood home, exactly as you had left it, last summer. as if it had simply ceased to exist when you were away. exactly the same, yet foreign. and that smell, something like your mother’s subtle perfume and the cleaning spray your father used in the kitchen.

it made your stomach turn.

it made you young again.

you hugged your family hello, attempting to push any anxiety that nipped at your nerves away. you should be happy to be home, you told yourself. you should be happy, it’s normal to be happy, just be normal, please.

your mother said something about your trip and traffic before returning to her desk, your father mumbled something about barely recognizing you as he continued to prepare dinner, your brother barely looked at you before heading back to the basement.

and then, in a moment, you knew he was here. a kind of sixth sense you had developed in middle school. his voice came from behind you.

“welcome home, angel.”

oh, how his voice, that name, how it made time drip like syrup around you, made you lose your grip on what was here and what was there, what was now and what was then.

for as long as you could remember, auston matthews had been your older brother’s best friend. and for as along as you could remember, the mere thought of auston matthews sent a flurry of butterflies to spawn in your stomach, a fiery chill up your spine, a flush with a vengeance to your cheeks.

when had the butterflies been born? maybe it was when you were seven, him and your brother ten, when you were all playing pond hockey in your backyard. when he had given you his mittens because yours had gotten wet and your brother had refused. maybe it had been that simple, maybe that had been all it took.

maybe that big, perfect, toothy smile, flushed cheeks, on a winter night in your backyard had been it.

or maybe it had been strengthened a couple years later, when he invited you to play video games with them even though your brother had been furious, had slammed the door in your face.

maybe it had been that hand extended in the dark.

or maybe it had been solidified at your high school graduation, when he had been there, despite his season just barely being over, standing with your family and clapping as you walked across the stage to get your diploma.

maybe it had been the way he had hugged you that day, so hard it knocked your cap off, strong arms wrapping around your torso. the way he had whispered, “proud of you, angel,” into your ear.

for as long as you could remember, he had been grabbing a bottle of gatorade from your fridge, laughing from the next room over, his games on the television in your living room.

if your head was a living room, the sound of his voice would be the television static, constant and reliable and home.

your dad made his favorite meal when he stayed for dinner, your mom knew all his stats by heart. your brother was his best friend.

and you were there, had always been there. and every boy you had ever kissed hadn’t been their own person, they had only been not auston.

maybe it had been everything he had ever done. the way you had received everything he had ever done. do you ever get over your first crush? do you ever forgive them for stealing all your innocent peace and serenity?

do you ever want to?

you were older now, just finished your second year in university.

you were different now. everything would be different. that’s what you repeated in your head, over and over.

but he made you young again.

you turned to look at him, wholly unprepared for what awaited you.

“auston,” you greeted, more like an observation or statement.

of course distance had only made him more handsome. somehow taller, bigger, broader, more defined even through his sweatpants and shirt. his jaw sharper, emphasized by his five-o’clock shadow, his eyes brighter, lashes longer, hair messier and curlier and more lovely.

everything about him lovely, and no longer just a memory, an image in your head. here he was, right in front of you, and that made him so much better in every way.

“that’s all you’ve got for me, angel?” he asked, smirk playing up on his lips, making your stomach turn in a different sort of way. he crossed his arms across his chest, shoulders straining against his t-shirt, leaned against the hallway frame. he looked down at you, eyes ever so teasing. “i’d be lying if i said i wasn’t disappointed.”

you wanted to slap yourself for how his words made your stomach drop. because oh, how you so despised the idea of disappointing him.

and you wanted to slap him, too, because you knew that he knew that, as well.

different, different, different. older, older, older.

“and what would you have preferred?” you quipped, a bite to your voice that made his smirk widen in a flash of teeth. “should i have jumped into your arms, teary-eyed?”

he pressed his tongue to the inside of his cheek, cocked his head, let his gaze melt down your body and up to your eyes again. the moment was heavy, potent. your skin hummed.

he shrugged. “even your dad got a hug,” was all he said. a flippant reminder that he knew you as well as anyone, that he knew all your family history, that he knew what made you tick. and worse, that he noticed you and what you did, what you were doing.

and you were young again, glassy-eyed at the dinner table as you counted the amount of times your father sighed after you spoke, making a tally with penne on your plate.

suddenly you couldn’t meet his eyes as he pushed himself off the wall, made to follow your brother back into the basement, gave a single, disbelieving shake of his head. “didn’t think you could get prettier,” he almost whispered.

he said it as if those words didn’t make your vision spin. you could practically see his prideful smirk as he walked down the stairs, leaving you, dazed, gripping your suitcase too tightly. here, and now.

your first few days at home were tough as you fought tooth and nail to maintain the confidence you had forged from what felt like nothing, to preserve the version of yourself that existed away from home, the version you had worked so hard to build.

but every comment felt charged, full of meaning, slight intention. this house seemed to suck the energy clean out of you, so you tried to be out of it as much as possible.

but auston was sitting at the table, on his phone, early one morning as you walked into the kitchen, having just woken up. his presence was like an electric shock to your body and mind, still soft with sleep.

you rubbed your eyes and adjusted your tank top, suddenly very aware of how you looked, how much skin you were showing.

you poured yourself a glass of water, poured a second one for him instinctually and placed it in front of him. he put his phone down immediately.

“thank you, angel,” he said easily, his eyes alight as you leaned back against the counter, crossed an arm in front of you, the other holding your glass.

his eyes on you seemed all too much, this early in the morning. you shuddered.

“welcome,” you rasped, pretended not to noticed how his eyes darkened at the sound of your voice, blushed and quickly decided it would probably be safest to leave. to get out before he could reduce you to shambles, the way he always did.

he got to you first.

“used to like to hang around me, angel,” he said, making you stop in your tracks, turn to face him. “what happened, hm?” he smiled. “don’t like me anymore?”

if only he knew. if only he knew just how much you still liked him, how it was still his mocking laugh in your head whenever you meaninglessly texted a boy from school.

“no,” was your simple answer. you cursed the waver in your voice.

“yeah? what’d i do?” he brought his cup to his full lips and took a slow sip, his swallow practically pornographic, at least to you. “used to follow me around like a puppy, now you won’t even look at me.”

you flushed deeper at the reminder of that wide-eyed, trembling little girl, who felt so far away, now. the one who hoped her older brother would invite his friend over, just so she could catch a glimpse of him.

"wasn’t like a puppy,” you mumbled, rosy shame tinting your neck and face.

he shook in a laugh. you both knew you were lying. the fact settled between you, energizing the space.

“no? look at me, then,” he said simply.

you did, and regretted it in a second, his gaze much too dark, heated. a trap. and you, sinking.

“sit,” he said. you did, sitting across from him at the table, again overcome with the urge to please. perhaps that little girl wasn’t so far away after all.

his eyes flashed again at your obedience. you watched him register the change in your demeanor - stiff to malleable, your gaze, once hard, suddenly so desperate.

this was the you he remembered.

“are you mad at me, angel?” he asked you, slow and deliberate.

you shook your head, fidgeted with your fingers.

“no?” his eyes were more prying than any touch could be. “then tell me what’s wrong, hm?” your felt your exhale come out shaky. he let out a tsk noise.

did you imagine the trembling of your lips? you willed stability into your voice.

“nothing’s wrong,” you choked out. “‘m just different now, that’s all. grown up.”

he nodded slowly, sighed, the silence and understanding heavy between you.

“you’ve really changed, hm, have you?”

it was your turn to nod, and the words in his mouth almost made you believe them.

you got up to leave with a steady exhale, but as you walked past his chair, he stood up, boxed you against the wall with his massive frame, one hand on the wall next to you, the other tilting your chin up so your gaze met his, truly.

you stayed in that position for a moment, your chest rising and falling in an undeniable way. you couldn’t help but drop your gaze to his lips for a moment, but a moment was enough. of course he noticed.

“you sure, pretty baby?” he rasped, so close you could feel his breath on your lips. he smirked before drawing back, leaving you there, almost drowsy with want and anger and a million other things. “i have my doubts.”

doubt, disappointment, it rattled around your head like the aftershocks of an earthquake.

and leaning there, you realized that underneath the rubble, you were just so afraid. downright terrified of - of what? not of auston, not of your family, not even of time itself.

it was that teary-eyed little girl, broken-hearted at the dinner table, braiding and undoing and braiding her hair while alone in her room.

she scared you so, so much.

and what was he playing at? what did it matter to him, if you were trying so hard to prove that you weren’t that little girl? he had never reciprocated your feelings, so why did he care now?

was he really so insistent on keeping your eyes wide, full of hope, and on him? always on him? did that really matter to him?

every sign was pointing to yes, it did. yes, you did.

and you realized there was more than one way to be different, older. more than one way to change.

so a few nights later, when your family sat down to watch his game, you did not join them, as you had for practically every game before.

the smallest act of rebellion, the smallest bit of difference, and yet already you could feel some kind of confidence solidify in your stomach. look what i can do, it said. look who i can be.

the following night, when you bumped into him in the hallway, you didn’t shrink away when he asked, “did you watch me?” you didn’t let his smirk distract you, nor his closeness.

you looked him in the eye as you shook your head.

you swallowed your delight at the surprise that flashed across his gaze. “no?” he asked.

“you have enough eyes on you,” you said, as stable as you could muster, straightening your posture, refusing to fidget.

his smile was that of someone who had been winning since birth.

“oh, you’re right about that, angel,” he said.

you shivered at his tone. “i know.” different, older. changed.

“you’re so smart, now, yeah?”

the barest tint of a blush began to form on your cheeks. yes, you thought, i am. always have been.

“but it just feels so good. to be just drowning in attention.” was that a trace of cruelty, dripping down his teeth? “but you wouldn’t know what that’s like, hm, pretty baby?”

and part of you faltered, frozen, could have cried at this attack - so calculated and personal. if it was anyone else you would have called it mean.

but a different, older, changed part of you recognized that you had changed something in him, too. auston had always been one of those people for whom you felt winning was second nature, easy as breathing.

but this familiar game wasn’t one he was winning without trying. all this testing you, tempting you, this was him, trying. this was new for him, too.

and that filled you with something downright dangerous.

“i don’t know, auston,” you drawled, barely recognizing your own voice. you took a step closer to him. “if you’re drowning in attention, why do you seem to want mine so badly?”

he sucked on his teeth for a second, making you smile. you picked a piece of lint that wasn’t there off of his sweatshirt.

“what’s wrong?” you pressed. “can’t handle one person not treating you like a god?” you smirked, the expression feeling foreign, powerful on your lips. “thought you were tougher than that.”

that darkness grew opaque in his eyes. in a moment, he had you boxed up against the wall, yet again, both of his hands on your hips.

how many times had you imagined his touch, like this? how many times had you tried to will it out of him? how was this all it took?

but you weren’t ready to fully give in. not quite yet.

you leaned back against the wall, reveled in the warmth of his palms.

“so you’re really ready to play, then, angel?” he asked. a warning shot went off in your head. a game, a game, a game, a voice said. only a game. “you know i always win.”

you tilted your head. “you don’t even know what game i’m playing,” you said. “besides, no matter what,” you placed a hand on his chest, grabbed a fist-full of his sweatshirt. “i’ll outwork you. every time.”

and this time, you were the one to leave him there, practically panting. the high was almost addictive.

that high was what you were chasing again when you agreed to go out with an old classmate. you could concede that you probably wouldn’t have said yes on your own - but this was you, outworking the natural. showing the god that his angel wouldn’t always be around.

you knew he would be over just as you were leaving, he and your brother were getting ready to go to the beach.

“dress up for me, angel?” he asked, smug. he looked you up and down lazily, eyes catching on the short hem of your sundress.

joy bubbled up in your throat at the fact that the answer was technically no. you shook your head. “have a date, auston,” you said.

his face soured, if only for a second.

“that right?” you thought you saw his perpetual lean stiffen for a moment.

you nodded. “catching up with an old friend. should be fun.”

he shifted his sunglasses from to the top of his head to the bridge of his nose. “an old friend? didn’t realize you had any old friends, angel.”

a littler version of you would have choked back a sob. had his comments always been so cutting? so selfish and mean? “you don’t realize a lot, it seems,” you said instead, stepping so close to him you could see your reflection in his sunglasses.

you lifted a delicate hand to his face, stilling it in your grasp as you ran a finger along the edge of your lips, fixing your gloss in your reflection.

something rumbled through his jaw into your hand. it felt like power and healing and winning.

you released your grip and stepped back, grabbing your bag and making for the door. “have fun at the beach,” you said, only a little patronizing. “don’t wait up for me.”

on the way out, you let out the smallest laugh to yourself. if only younger you could see present you. telling auston matthews not to wait up for her. unimaginable.

the date was good, honestly. better than you expected. he was sweet, and funny, and you could really see yourself being friends with him, which was awesome. you were both on the same page, liking each other but not really attracted to each other, and by the end of the date you already had plans to hang out with some of his other friends.

you were happy when you pulled back into your driveway.

you were happy when you entered your room, laid down on your bed, smiled at this proof of your growth. a friend. what a beautiful thing.

you couldn’t tell how much time had passed between when you got home and when he appeared in your doorway.

suddenly, he was there. just like how he entered your life, you thought briefly. suddenly, he was there.

you smiled. “auston,” you said.

“what’re you smiling about?” he asked, the smallest bit of a smirk on his face.

you sighed. “just had such a good time.”

“did you?” he asked, “‘m glad, angel.”

“are you?” you mocked him, sitting up, fixing your dress around you.

he nodded as he walked towards you, made an affirmative humming sound.

“happy you thought he was a good time.”

you scrunched up your face in confusion. even as he got closer, the nerves that used to plague you were nowhere to be found.

he now stood next to you, a towering presence. the energy between the two of you was different than it had ever been before.

you tilted your head back, leaned against your headboard to meet his eyes. “and why is that?”

his smirk was delicious. “’cause he’s going to make me look even better than i already am.”

and a younger you would have sighed with desire, with want, with everything dangerous like that. but something even more dangerous was alive and growing inside of you now, something that had nothing to do with him.

you were almost confused at the fact that now, in this moment, when everything could have happened, you didn’t particularly care if it did.

it dawned on you then that perhaps auston had always loved you. he loved you the way a child loves the candy their parents tell them to save until after dinner - loving the knowledge that it is there, that it will always be there. loving the temptation, the prospect, the comfort. but not loving, truly. not the way you so desired. when dessert is done, that love is abandoned.

and he was not the auston you had so desired, all these years. he was not the hero, the god, the perfect boy turned man, he was not everything.

you looked up at him, now, feeling none of the delirious wanting that had defined him for so long.

“would you stay, do you think?” you asked, voice steady and simply curious.

he raised a brow in confusion. “what?”

“would you stay? afterwards? even for a little bit?”

you could see it now, and you sort of already knew the answer. you could see yourself laying in this same bed, shaken out of that sticky afterglow by him, getting up, getting dressed, getting out.

the man in front of you now, he actually let out a laugh. “what did you think this was, angel?” he asked.

and younger you would have cried forever. spent eternity breathing in tears.

but this older, different, changed you, she laughed right back at him. because he had said something that deserved to be laughed at.

“who do you think i am?” you asked, smiling.

because you were not his angel, not anymore. you were not his pretty baby. you were healing, you were growing. he was not your superman, your hand extended in the dark.

he was just a person, a person who was used to your attention, and didn’t like that he no longer had it. a person who could be cruel when you eyes weren’t on him.

and you thought that the next time you kissed someone, maybe they would finally be a real person, not a person lacking.

you weren’t really paying attention to him now, but at some point, auston matthews left your bedroom. and you didn’t even notice.

and your dad still knew his favorite meal, and would probably make it tonight. your mom still knew all his stats, even though they had changed from two nights ago. he was still your brother’s best friend.

and you were still there. beautifully, wonderfully there.

the living room in your head mellowed. the television static was finally just television static, nothing more. and there was a little girl sitting on the couch. and she was laughing.

fin.

#auston matthews #auston matthews imagine #auston matthews x reader #nhl #hockey #hockey x reader #hockey angst #angst fic #auston matthews smut #toronto maple leafs

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you-can-be-what-you-want-to-be · 5 months

Note

People aren't mad because John/Arthur aren't canon, people are mad because the creator made fun of the fans that ship them in the Christmas special

I see… the post has been deleted

I’m just very used to being in bad fandoms where something as small as “I don’t ship them personally” is taken as a homophobic statement, and people have been saying forever if it’s not canon it’ll be queer bait, so I assumed which I maybe shouldn’t have done but with it coinciding with the “John is a child episode” it just made sense

now, I do have to say though, that while I don’t know a whole lot because I’m not on the Patreon, I was for awhile. Again take this with a HEAPING load of salt for that reason since I clearly don’t know the specific situation. Everything I’m going to say I will try to say from an objective viewpoint since I don’t know the situation and will only focus on the facts I do know.

But how is this new? For the karaoke creep special they keep calling it weird to call each other romantic terms. And when Arthur died by not sacrificing the little guy last season Harlan was ROUGH. He said anyone who voted to not sacrifice were children smashing dolls together, that they forgot the story they were in and hopefully this punishment would remind them that actions have consequences. He basically said this is your fault for being stupid. He ended up having to post a semi apology saying it’s eldritch horror story, it’s supposed to be about harshness and not knowing the consequences before hand, and that he teases his audience and that if they don’t like that this isn’t the right show for them. His phobia play through he did a bit as Arthur and John where he was like “and we are NOT doing anything in the shower no matter what the fan fictions say” “let them dream John”

I also would like to mention that word of god should be ignored in these stories and that Harlan does NOT have a PR team. Again I don’t know the situation. I don’t know if he was ad libing live, in which case he should be given more Lee way as self editing in the moment is hard, I don’t know how if he said the most vile stuff alive, or if he said something a little mean but harmless like the “no we are not doing this” “let them dream” or what. Maybe it is bad and he deserves to be roasted, idk.But making jokes about a non canon thing can be a normal thing, especially if it’s a thing people keep bugging you about.

I do know that fandom as a whole has a problem attacking people over though, being someone who frequently got called homophobic for headcanoning single characters as aro, this one specifically has already harassed him about this ship which I’m sure gets annoying, and that he has explicitly said he will poke fun on the Patreon, and that he has said Jarthur won’t happen, and that he is one guy without the means to sort through hate mail removed from situations and doesn’t have a PR team to tell him “hey this off the cuff joke is a bad idea”

all that being said, again I do not know what he said specifically. I think either way a lot of people need to reassess if this is the fandom for them. I’ve seen a lot of people only get into the show for shipping and then get mad when there’s eldritch horror and the attitudes of eldritch horror in the eldritch horror podcast. If he said something that bad then maybe consider getting out since he writes about delicate subjects and it will only get worse. If what he said wasn’t that bad and people are getting mad about being lightly teased but it wasn’t confrontational or homophobic, they might want to leave because that’s just what Harlan does, tease people, and it’s not new and will continue, especially about non canon stuff in his own work. And if you got into and are only staying for the shipping…. Yeah. If that’s the only thing you want maybe it’s time to move on.

and if you decide to stay, know that. Know and be warned ahead of time that you will be teased so it isn’t a surprise next time

edit: so I did get the full context quote and it’s literally just “we want to hang out together alone for Christmas” “platonically, as in canon” “oh of course of course.” This. This isn’t bullying. It’s a little tongue in cheek sure but the whole thing is just saying it isn’t canon. I’ve heard complaints on comments on this post about other stuff he’s done, which I don’t know much about but is also applicable. I did my best to say “either way, this is stuff related.” As someone who writes and has written things before where every single chapter people kept pushing for something I wasn’t going to write I get it. I’m not saying anything he might have done is right but I think it’s understandable at the very least, for a writer to be upset about his stuff being constantly misinterpreted and having fans try to push it where he doesn’t want it.

him reminding people it won’t happen is fine, especially when people keep accusing him of queer baiting. I still think what I said earlier stands even hearing other opinions, because although I can’t say either way, it seems like everyone who is upset says this is a repeated behavior, and if you stay you can’t be surprised by it every time. If it’s going to bug you you have to either be prepared for it to keep happening or leave.

That isn’t to say no one can be upset about anything else but this specific thing I don’t think is worthy of that. All he did was jokingly repeat canon in character (which is much better than like. Someone who keeps hinting at something and never giving it) in a teasing manner. He didn’t say anything negative about shippers, or anything homophobic, just said “hey remember kids, we aren’t into each other like that.” Which is. Fine. It’s annoying but it isn’t malicious.

If the issue is mods or his interactions with people say that. Don’t make it about him light heartedly going “don’t accuse me of queerbaiting.” it makes it so when actual issues like what people are talking about in the comments (if they’re legit, again I try to stay only in the actual content part and abstain from knowing about creators) come up no one takes them seriously because so many molehills were mountained.

If you’re pissed about how he talks to his fans say that, don’t make it about a lack of queer rep when he said day one there wouldn’t be any. Make it about the issue itself. You don’t mention that someone’s a domestic abuser for example after you say “and they have NO CHEESE in their house thats MONSTROUS who does that.” If you want to be taken seriously about a problem you focus on the thing that matters which is. Hurting people.

I guess at the end of the day I’m no one’s boss, but I am tired of not knowing what to believe or not when someone saying something like “no comment” on if characters they wrote are together is homophobia, or a character who’s been Described as a dick acting like one and then the creator gets accused of being shitty (random examples not to do with this specific fandom). If everything is a big deal that makes someone the worst when the subject is not actually hurting anyone… it’s exhausting. Idk anything about Harlan. At the end of the day I’m here for my little horror stories. But I will say definitively that I don’t think it’s bullying to say a ship is not canon and that to act like it is makes it impossible for people who actually care about morals and what someone is doing to keep the energy to stay that way without becoming part of a mob just taking people at their word.

If it upset you I’m sorry, it’s always disappointing when our take on media is dismissed, especially by the creator. And it’s fine to be disappointed. I get that. But don’t blow it out of proportion, and don’t make it about something it isn’t. If you’re upset about the quote say that it’s disappointing without saying it’s punching down. The author is dead and it’s one of the biggest podcast ships out there. If you’re upset about anything else make a post about that issue without tying it to this fun bonus non canon episode. You are allowed to be upset just and if it is about shipping: stop making someone disagreeing with you about a ship a big controversy. You can ship whatever you want regardless of canon and no one is trying to stop jarthur shippers, and if it isn’t about that stop making things about shipping if that’s not what it’s actually about.

#Discourse #malevolent #Masked

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koiir · 11 months

Text

Bags

— As you two grow, you can’t help the way your heart grows for him. But nothing ever last, and soon you two drift apart and you wonder if you will ever get the chance to make him yours once again.

Pairing - Chigiri x fem!reader

Genre - fluff, angst with comfort

Wc; 2k+

Cw - crying, swearing, implied childhood friends into lovers, reader is an actress, not proofread, grammar errors

Baggage. That’s what your love for your best friend felt like. Could you even call him that anymore? It feels natural to call him that, but no new memories between the two of you had been made ever since his injury. The one that took him away from you. You started at the reflection a head of you, the girl you had always dreamed of. The one who was famous and loved by all, but not by him. You had it all, you achieved the dream you’ve wanted every since you were a kid. The only missing piece was having him back.

“It’s been a while since we’ve gone out you know.”

“[name], please we went to the mall last week,” he rolled his eyes.

“Cmon hyoma! Don’t you wanna go take a walk or something? We can go to the park and race eachother, I haven’t ran in a while you know.”

“Either way I would beat you name, but I’ve been meaning to read the book you told me about” he grinned. Only to be met with your glare.

“Well I might not be as fast as you but I’m pretty fast you know, that’s why I made it on the varsity track team.” You said with an annoyance. But of course you could never get mad at Chigiri, he was everything to you.

“Yeah yeah yeah, well, let’s head to the book store first and then we can go to the cafe. Does that sound alright?”

“Yeah, that would be perfect.” You sighed, you finally could spend more time with chigiri as your schedule has cleared up. Traveling has worn you out, longing for a peaceful day.

And it was, the day out with Chigiri was perfect. He always had the calm yet energetic presence to him, you loved it. Loved all of him. You two first started off with the book store, in which you recommended him a book.

“Since you’ve been going crazy over it, sure why not.” You grinned, he smiled back.

After that trip, you two walking around the city heading to the cafe you both loved. Everything about it was perfect, the food, the vibe, you and him.

It was almost chigiri’s favorite season, one you knew would be with him and only him.

Christmas for the two of you always stayed the same, either it was spent at your house or his, a cycle that would change every year. Drinking hot chocolate with him or tea, while the two of you talked about the books you wanted to read. You loved the winter, not only because of the season itself, but because the time you two spent was one that filled your heart with warmth. You hoped it always stayed that way.

The warmth would soon turn cold as he became cold

The tear not only was sent to his knee, but to his heart and everything else. His dream of becoming the best. It was gone. He hated it. Hated everything. He was pent up with everyone who had pitted him, he hated the fact that when they did he would have a reminder that he was no longer able to fulfill his dream.

“Who is it?” The annoyance in Chigiri’s voice was evident, it made you anxious if you should have even came.

“It’s me hyoma.” He looked up from his book, the one you had given him just a couple months ago. Before his dream was shattered. Hearing your voice now made him realize how you two hadn’t been together in a while, you busy with acting roles and shoots while he was playing for his dream.

Chigiri always looked up to in a way, the way you had achieved your dreams at such a young age. He wanted, needed to be like you. For the first time you had beat him, and so he wanted to catch up to you. He wanted to achieve his dream, just like you, but now he wasn’t able to. Now he was left with nothing.

But you had everything. You had everything while he had nothing.

“Come in,” you entered and as you did he glanced up at you. His eyes widened.

“It’s been a while, since I’ve been in your room,” you looked around, nothing much had changed other than the trophies he use to keep in his room. You remember the way he was gaze at them with that grin he held while talking about becoming the best.

“So, have you been the reading the book I got you?” You pointed toward the book in his bed as he moved to the edge of his bed.

“Yeah actually, it’s longer than I thought. I like it.” You hated it. Hated the way Chigiri was talking to you as if you were an old acquaintance. His tone tired.

I cant read you but if you want the pleasures all mine

Chigiri didn’t bother trying to make eye contact, he didn’t want to. He would always make sure you knew that he was listening, and so he would stare. Not only for that reason, but as an excuse to see your face. He didn’t want to glance at your face anymore. he would only be reminded of the past, the past in which you two held memories that made his heart full of joy. Full of his love for you which he tried to hard to never show.

Can you see me using everything to hold back?

“Why are you here? Did something happen?,” he knew why you were here. It was the same as everyone else, and he hated that. Because you weren’t everyone else, you were the one that Chigiri wanted.

“I know you’ve been told many times about it, but I’ll be fine Hyoma. You can still play soccer if you give it some time-“

“Is that why you came, to pity me [name]? If you knew then why bring it up? You do realize it won’t be fine and if I dare to play soccer again I might lose everything. Don’t you realize that?”

He now looked up, eyes burning with fire as he said those words. You’ve never seen him like this, he was never like this. Never with you.

“Hyoma… I’m sorry-“

“You don’t understand [name]”

Your voice hitched. Stop, you wanted him to stop so bad. Saying your name full of anger and not the playful way he would always use. It made you feel numb.

“You don’t understand anything. You don’t understand how it feels to have your dream taken away. You don’t have to worry about it while I do.”

You couldn’t bare to look at him, his eyes filled with rage. Your eyes becoming blurry as you looked away. In this moment all you wanted to do was hug him, do anything in your power to help him. But you couldn’t, you had set a fire that wouldn’t burn out anytime soon.

“I’m sorry.” The last words spoken before you left, and the ones that would make him regret everything.

“Fuck.”

As you left his room for the last time, you looked at the paper origami in your pocket. The one Chigiri had made to you before you had left. The ones with the words, you’ve made it. I’m proud of you.

I guess this could be worse walkin’ out the door with your bags

“10 more minutes until we shoot!” People moved to their destinations, quick so they could do last minute touches and make sure everyone and everything was in place. You start vanity, awaiting for the moment you would get up and start the shoot. You should be happy, giddy at best. The role was everything you dreamed of. One in which you got to be part of the main cast in a physiological thriller, a breaking in your career.

Yet it only reminded you of him, how you told him it was your dream to act in a thriller. Now you can only wonder if Chigiri had given up on his dream. You hope, pray that he did not and he was still trying. You knew Chigiri would sacrifice everything for soccer, for his dream.

You wrote down in your journal, the one he had given you as a Christmas present.

“Here, so you can write down your delusions.”

“I am not delusional!”

“Nah, you are extremely delusional name”

You used the journal for almost everything, planning, your schedule, your thoughts.

Pardon my emotions I should probably keep it to myself

Knew you’d make fun of me

You can imagine Chigiri telling you how silly it was to write down what you wished for, almost like a Christmas list a child would make. And in a way he would be right. It was silly to wish for someone who didn’t want you back. Delusional, just as he has called you.

“Everyone action!”

The cafe was busy as always, especially due to the fact that it was lunch break for most. You sipped on your coffee as you stared at the glass, watching others walk wondering what they dream of. Your daze now on your phone as you saw a notification from your mom.

Are you busy next week? I have tickets the Japan U -20 game against the blue lock 11.

You were about to send a message saying you wouldn’t go until she sent her next one.

I heard Hyoma will be playing, his mom and sister are going.

Your hand gripped the phone tight until it turned off. Your mind running with thoughts. Chigiri was still playing soccer. He was playing against the Japan U - 20 team. You would see him again.

You smiled wide, almost laughing at what you had just heard. You out you head down, staring at the text that turned your whole world upside down. Your cheeks heating up, your smile never faltered.

I’m free so I’ll go

You placed the phone down as you sighed, looking up and smiling down at your plate. The dish the same color as his eyes, the ones that you would soon see again.

“Hey Nagi?”

“Mhm what”

“Can i borrow your phone? I wanted to check something.” The boy infront of him just sighed and handed the device to him. Chigiri typed down a name he wished he could see in person. When he typed down your name, he saw the first article clicking on it to read it. I knew it he thought, you got your dream role. Chigiri could only smile at the screen ahead of him showcasing the photo of you.

“I know you could do it name”

It felt nostalgic, everything about it. You were able to go down and see more than the average people as you mother had been invited to be report on the game. Even with all the cameras, paparazzi asking you questions about your new role and thoughts on the game, you could only think of him.

Chigiri Hymoa. His name being the only thing you could think of.

As you walked the seats, you saw his mom and sister. You knew seating next to them would be the perfect opportunity to see Chigiri. He would have to notice them, and then he would notice you.

Only a couple minutes until the match, until you could see him again. Both teams came out, cheers erupting from the stadium. You only waited for one person, Chigiri. And with that, the game has started. You only had eyes for him, watching him. Watching how far he’s gone.

Half time. A chance you thought, soon he’ll notice me. The calling of his name caught you off guard, his sister yelling out to him. You looked in her direction, seeing Him. Seeing Chigiri Hyoma. The one you wish to make yours

He looks up, still drinking water. A small blush making an appearance on his face. He looked up seeing his sister along with his mother. What he didn’t expect was seeing his sister pull you in so he could see you. His eyes widened, haven’t seen you in what felt like an eternity. His missed you. So much. A gasp came out of you, soon becoming a bright smile for him. The one you would always wear when with him.

He was beautiful. He was still the same boy you fell in love with all those years ago. The two of you only stayed with your eyes glued to one another, not realizing the others around you noticed it.

“Hey, who’s that cutie- holy shit is that [f/n] L/n]?”

Chigiri only got my embarrassed, “that’s my sister… and yes that is her.”

“Man do you know her? How in the hell?!”

“You know Chigiri, you should set me up with her? Wait, is she taken?”

His once annoyance now turning into jealousy at the thought of you wish someone else, he could only glare at male’s next to him.

“No she’s taken.”

“By who?”

Pride swelling in his body as he stated his next words. “Me.” He could see the shocked look on both Otoya’s and Karasu’s face once they had heard him. With that, chigiri left them not before looking back up at you and sending you a smile and a wave. He felt the fire in his heart starting to burn once more.

Cheers come from the crowd as it was announced that Blue lock 11 had beat the Japan U-20 team, 3 to 4. Those who had been subbed out went out to the field to celebrate along with the others. You waited until you saw him. Chigiri.

Others such a interviewers webt on the field to report on the game, you had your chance. He was so close yet so far away from you in the field. The only thing you could do is run, run to him.

I’m not the type to run, I know that we’re having fun

“Hyoma!” You yelled out his name as you ran towards him, onlookers following you. Finding it out of the blue that you out of all people would be running on a field calling out someone’s name. You called out to him once more, almost reaching him.

Chigiri knew that voice, the one who hadn’t heard in forever. He turned around, almost as if what he seeing was a dream. More like scene of our movie since it was you. He ignored all the calls of his name, only caring for yours. As you did, he ran. He knew he would beat you, he always did.

“I beat you,” Chigiri grabbed you, holding you close to him. “Gosh, did you run all the way here?”

“Yeah… I did.” Panting, you looked up at him. God. You haven’t been able to be this close to him in what felt like years. Your heart beating faster than ever. It could have been the running, but you knew he was also the cause.

“I can’t believe hyoma you did it, you won.” He gazed at your eyes, the ones that burned was passion. One that he always saw full of emotion while acting, one he was seeing right now looking back at him.

“You never gave up.”

“You can thank that one over there,” Chigiri pointed over to isagi who was being interviewed. “But, I have you to blame name. My time at blue lock… the only thing on my mind was you along with my injury. It made me realize how I almost ruined us because of it, how it could also ruin my dream. So… I didn’t give up. Because losing two things is worse than never trying at all. But looks like I’ve got the chance to fix what I ruined.”

You stared at him wide eyed as he said that, did he mean…

“I want to be yours name.” You saw that the grin you loved dearly, the one he always showed you. And only you.

“Are you sure you aren’t feeding into my delusions?” You received a chuckle from him.

“No I’m sure this is real, if anything you would be feeding into my delusions.”

Quick and rushed it was, you didn’t expect any less from him. The way he grabbed you cheek with care, making sure not to damage you once again. His lips soft against your own, the feeling new to the both of you. One only you could feel with him.

But what’s the rush? Kissing , then my cheeks are so flushed

You both pulled away, faces flushed looking back at one another. Smiles being evident by the two of you.

“I love you hyoma.” It’s like the words spilled out of mouth, without a thought in mind. But you knew it was the truth, one you had tried to hide in the past.

He pulled you, you head feeling the beat of his heart racing. “I love you too name… you have no idea how long I’ve been meaning to tell you that.

“I did it, you might have beat me first, but I caught up. We both have achieved our dreams.”

Eww so cringe (god you do not understand how much I love this man like)

#bllk chigiri #bllk scenarios #bllk imagines #bllk angst #bllk fluff #bllk fanfic #blue lock chigiri #chigiri x reader #chigiri x you #chigiri fluff #chigiri x y/n #chigiri imagines #chigiri hyoma #chigiri scenarios #hyoma chigiri #hyoma chigiri x reader #hyoma chigiri x you #blue lock x reader #koiir writes

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cxhleel108 · 1 month

Text

LITG S8 Thots for this week: Very bad day for loyal girlies…

(Making this while still slightly baked from getting high last night so just know you’re getting ruthless Cahleel today😍)

• So ngl first impressions of the boys…Oakley outsold them all. Call me biased I really dgaf.

• Not even 10 seconds in and Luna already babbling about Jin omg just kill me now.

• Oh bitch I’m officially making it canon that him and my S6 MC fucked around at one point like what? Fusebox stop copying our shit!!!

• Max is Jin 2.0 I literally have nothing else to say about him.

• Kyle not serving to me sorry. I know all y’all going crazy over him and like his body is tea but girl he’s just…no😭😭😭 Also he has a scorpion tattoo which means the Scorpio of the season has been recognized and I care about my MC so I am NOT putting her through that pain.

• And here I thought Oakley was going to end up being the “Gary” of this season…

• Kyle fancies me the most…great! Now leave me alone after I reject you the first time!

• Luna’s going after Jin’s replacement- I MEAN Max! How surprising…

• God I hate you already.

• I can’t stand when they do this. Last time I checked none of these names belong to a 6’3, Ghanaian firefighter with a fat ass and a slutty waist so as far as I’m concerned my eyes are firmly CLOSED.

• Outfit time!

• The other look was boring sorry but I LOOOOVE this one.

• Luna being mad about Jin part 2 omg PLEASE KILLLLLLL MEEEE.

• Ugh yasss we can sleep by ourselves. Y’all will not trap me!

• Bea telling me about this other chick that Oakley went on a date with like I care, ok.

• But you was just mad cuz Jin winked at somebody…girl go to HELLLLLL.

• Outfit time!

• Come on Arabian Nights tease!

• Kyle and Liam been fucking on the low omg?

• Time to suffer through meaningless chats.

• I’m making my girl sound like the most boring person ever trying to ignore these dudes help😭😭😭

• Oh that’s not…

• Luna you are literally only interested in Shawn because you know he’s the only one I’ve given the time of day…does it not hurt being this much of a loser?????

• Outfit time!

• Cute…that’s about it tho.

• Kyle saying he did a tattoo for a celebrity and then the said celebrity being Gabi of all people like wow nobody moved.

• WHERE IS THE FIGHT OPTION??? WHERE IS IT??? LET ME HIT HER!!!

• Liam had us form a whole dance circle around him just for him to start seizing ok.

• Shawn you’re sooooo cute but I really don’t want you baby just stop trying❤️

• This whole conversation with Bea chile I can’t. Oakley went on a date with another girl…ok and??? He called her a head turner…did he say she was turning HIS head??? They connected…OVER FUCKING BAKING. Oakley literally said he was in love with us and was planning on making us his girlfriend it literally makes no sense whatsoever. Fusebox y’all are getting too predictable bruh like obviously y'all are not gonna make our OG LI cheat on us so what is the point of the gossip other than to get US to cheat on THEM?

• And this shit oh brotherrrrr😭 I can’t wait for next week when we find out that Luna was screaming because Shawn gave her a great foot rub like fuck out my face with that. Also even if they are fucking I DO NOT CAREEEEE! I DO NOT WANT HIM!!!!

#guys they’re losing me #bring our men back #litg #love island the game #litg tempting fate #litg s8 #litg season 8

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nonbinarypirat · 4 months

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Spoilers for Iruma (manga and show)

I recently got into Iruma through the anime and fell in LOVE with it to the point where I started reading the manga since it’s going to be a bit of a wait for the next season (which I’m fucking excited about because more singing, performance Iruma, more irumi (or iruminati??)). But I have gotten to Walter Park in the manga and fuck dude, I really resonate with Iruma grappling with understanding his feelings.

Throughout the story, it’s iruma trying to break free from the mental and emotional abuse his parents put him through on top of the fucking crazy situations he was forced into. He only had time to think about survival, he never had the chance to even fully develop his own emotions and thoughts. We see this throughout the story of him struggling to develop a normal life in the netherworld despite never having a normal childhood to begin with.

Anger is typically one of the easiest emotions for us to understand. It’s something we just primitively resonate with. Even if all else fails, anger is something we can fall back on. However, Iruma (not only because of his more easy going personality spawned from his parent’s manipulation) has never had the opportunity to feel this because he has already felt like most situational outcomes are hopeless to change anyways so why get mad about it.

That outlook, while it could be healthy depending on the context, is downright dangerous to always feel. If you can’t even let yourself freely understand your anger, you simply let things go without even trying to defend yourself. We see this manifest in season three with Bachiko (though I DO love Bachiko even in the beginning because I support women’s rights and women’s wrongs).

I just find him a curious character to study because while the show is silly goofy most times, so many reaction videos I have watched ignore his deep-seated trauma, mostly because of how cartoonish they make it. But take the cartoon silliness out, and you get a character his is deeply hurt and grasping at understanding his own feelings now that he is finally given the time to experience them.

I’m curious how the romantic relationship stuff will develop because he hasn’t been given the proper time to even interact with kid’s his own age much, especially not people he could be attracted to. As well as seeing his struggle with more complex emotions that he’ll be forced to confront as I read more! (Also please no spoilers in the comments past season three events, I am catching up quickly on my own!)

#iruma-kun #welcome to demon school iruma kun #mairimashita! iruma kun #welcome to demon school #me overanalyzing characters #my first post that’s not a repost #if y’all like my character analysis stuff I may keep doing them #I love Iruma-kun a healthy amount

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makeitastrength · 2 months

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Thoughts on the episode??

Okay so, I have A LOT of thoughts, anon. And thank you for your patience with my answer. I generally like to rewatch the ep before posting my thoughts so I have time to calm down and make sense of things.

Let’s start with things I loved:

The accidental proposal scene. Oh my god. I could write a novel (and I might write a fic) on the emotions you could see in their faces in that scene! When Alexi said there was a scene that would launch a thousand gifs, I’m assuming he meant that one (and he was right)

The dance! I love that Tim came to find her despite being mad. And that he was ready to talk. And I will never be over the way he holds her so close and that they’re almost leaning their heads together as they have that conversation

Lucy’s I love you, of course! These two have affirmed how serious they are and that they’re going to make this work numerous times now. They haven’t actually done the hard work yet, though. I think it’s gonna be fun (and probably absolutely heartbreaking at times) to watch them realize how hard they’re gonna have to fight for it

Lastly, the writers are setting up a great storyline for Aaron this season, and I’m interested to see how that plays out. It’s clear he’s struggling but is more focused on getting back on duty than actually healing. I’m actually really looking forward to how that unfolds. I’m also glad Harper was able to see what’s going on and give Celina some guidance on how to support him in a healthy way, and that Celina was able to take that to heart

Okay, next up: things I’m a little unsure about. I’ll admit, my initial reaction to the lie detector scene and resolution of the chenford fight wasn’t super positive. With my rewatch I’ve come around to it a little more. Tim definitely has trauma and he’s definitely been denying it. Which is what he’s really always done, so it makes sense.

I think what bugs me is that it makes the issue seem one-sided when, from my perspective, there’s absolutely no way Lucy isn’t also battling some internal conflict about this. She knows he’s still traumatized, which to me means she has to be wondering how her going UC is going to impact their relationship. I don’t see how she can’t be also harboring some worries. And I think Tim was right when he said she was projecting. My hope is that they unpack her feelings about it this season as well.

I’m holding off my overall judgement until the entire thing plays out, because I know this was just one piece of it. They’ve set up a complex issue for these two, so I’m hoping the resolution is given the screen time and care it deserves.

But I do think Tim finally working to come to terms with his trauma is a good start. He’s come a long way, and you can tell he so badly wants to be supportive of Lucy. He’s trying SO HARD. And his admission at the end that he’ll work on it because his trauma shouldn’t hold her back from her dreams… I LOVED that conversation. I think it was so important for him to realize that and for Lucy to hear him say it.

And lastly: the one thing I still didn’t like after rewatching is the I love you portion of the lie detector scene. I just don’t like that Lucy felt she needed a lie detector to prove that. Maybe that wasn’t how they meant it. Maybe they meant it to be interpreted as her asking because she knew it was true and was testing the machine. But to me it doesn’t come across that way and it’s just not my favorite.

But overall, I thought it was a fun episode! Can’t believe we made it to 100! Here’s to 100 more!!

#chenford #the rookie #tim bradford #lucy chen #6x02 #the rookie 6x02 #the rookie 100th

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tomyo · 1 month

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A long examination of Amy and her character treatment.

This was initially a YouTube comment lol.

I truly loved the Sonic x dub cast but it really always came down to an issue of script and possibly the voice director. It always stung to me how much vitriol Amy used to get and while I like how she is better treated (being more recognized as one of the core 4), I do miss the sassiness she was given in the 00s. Sonic is meant to be kinda edgy and often in the anime he’s portrayed with immature traits because he’s a teenager, Amy often was the counterpart to that, a modern posh girl who was stubborn about what she wanted but not solely defined by that. I don’t think it was revolutionary but I do think compared to the Japanese ideal woman, Amy would be more akin with trickled down gyaru culture (Mat[ure] gal, something in line with the image of posh spice). It’s unfortunate that headstrong translated probably somewhat to boy crazy and desperate to an English audience and where Sonic’s immaturity was toned down removing that feeling they were on the same level. Often my biggest issue with her modern voice is she comes off as a knock off mini mouse (more so in the earlier games with her current English VA).

Maybe ironic is it sounds more alike to her Japanese portrayal which also ironically I’m very conflicted about since it somewhat aligns her more with cream age wise. But what I do like about it is the difference in character portrayal. If I were to guess Sega’s stance on Sonic and Amy it would be two people loosely dating, similar in the way Mickey and Minnie are a couple but that validity fluidly changes depending on the situational need. Keep in mind that Amy’s first portrayal is as a version of Sonic’s girlfriend. Given that there was apparently a valentine’s plush bouquet of the two I think to some degree they’re meant to be as such. When it comes to the Adventure era to just before generations, the context of this relationship is greatly changed between languages. American Sonic often gave off the feeling of a laid back but heroic guy who puts up with a girl because he is too kind and she’s too pushy. And I think even just the voice direction plays into that perception because of how they sound a different maturity than the Japanese portrayal. In Japanese, Sonic is often more playful and less uncomfortable than he sounds in English. A great example is adventure 1’s park segment when Amy gets excited for free couple entry, in English Sonic is clearly annoyed and calling her a pain while in Japanese he’s caught off guard but going along with it. I’ve only just been digging into the Sonic X sub but the comparisons I see give off more the feeling that Amy is casually dating Sonic and regularly fighting with him to take her on dates (gonna point to Goku and chichi in this case). He cares about her enough to go to her place first at the end of the first season but reflexively avoids responsibility, she’s the scary girlfriend always mad at him. Specifically pointing back to episode 52’s ending, they use a song associated with specially the relationship between Amy and Sonic that also is explicitly romantic (and in terms of the song presumably reciprocated) when she asks him to tell her He loves her and the lip flaps of his unheard response *could* match up to “Aishiteruze Amy” (my conjugation isn’t that good and google isn’t helpful but to me vague knowledge a more casual masculine way to say I love you) and a white rose which symbolizes “chaste love”.

Ultimately I read their relationship being Amy trying to find compromise with Sonic’s free spirit. They’re by no means official and probably never will be because it’s not in Sonic’s priority (in his game portrayal). The most I think that would ever become of him being with someone would be almost completely out of the picture and light hearted at best.( But that is also due to him eternally being 15/16 as for now. ) Amy trying to get him to spend time with her and show some reciprocation is I think all Sonic X Amy is looking for. But going back to my thoughts on why Amy got so much backlash for the longest time is I don’t not think the first wave of Sonic fans in America understood that. The image of who Sonic is was completely treated different and even before Amy (who you could technically call the second character created in game universe) could appear stateside, the U.S. already created the answer that “Yes, Sonic is interested in romance and here is the type of girl he likes.” My feelings toward Sally always lie in, I did not hate Sally but I hated the way fans pointed to Sally as the reason to hate Amy. It doesn’t help that when Amy was introduced, she was defined by being young, bratty and blind to Sonic not loving her back. She was the little sister trying to steal your boyfriend and the age gap they share was even more so focused on. Even with just the English dub of Sonic media, it was leaning into the concept that boys should feel disgusted at the ideas of romance that isn’t as prominent in Japanese media. It paints the picture to the average 90s Sonic fan that “Amy will never be his type because he’s more interested in a cool mature girl like Sally.” Of course the same comic that particularly created that shipping divide collapsed leaving Amy once again to be the sole main girl that now had a fandom known for hating her. Already doing a whole reset with Colors on scaling back the grand stories and cast, by the next time we really saw her in generations she was just…….dainty. I remember being very effected by her Disney princess hand posing in Lost World. To be honest she hasn’t been that deeply tied into any mainline stories too much, at least not in her modern styling but to also be fair, I’m trying to enjoy Forces despite being late to the game (There was a decade gap of buying a major console) and while I have seen pretty much the full extent of her rep in Frontiers, I’m holding off on dream team currently(also want to play the murder of Sonic on my own time). From the way I look at it, this has lead mainly western media to define her character and often working off said issues that previously arose with her portrayal. As much as I love Sonic Boom, I see Amy’s straight forward pursuit to awkward denial of even feeling that way as nothing less than an absolute failure of her character. That mixed with making her the “The girl annoyed with the boys because she’s just so much more smarter and sophisticated than them” just switching her to a different girly stereotype that ultimately pacified her, then further extending into prime emphasizing how nature loving she is in a way that again really just feels like a Disney princess cliche. Ultimately she’s become “The nurturing homebody who is a little annoyed at the brutish guys she’s around and doesn’t want to address having feelings for her guy friend because that would just bother him.” Maybe it's just aging to that point but its come to a girl minimizing herself is more frustrating that a girl obsessed with a guy. I get why they chose to pivot her in that way but it often also feels directionless.

Actually looking back at all the media that sparked this, even Sonic X doesn't feel that bad as she was made out to be. Granted I'm only a 7th of the way in but she's not often making a huge deal about sonic as much as sonic is the heavy hitter especially with knuckles gone and he's not taking his duties seriously. But it's also interesting to try and see what's going on in the Japanese dubs of the games now that I also have a decent hold on the Japanese language. Sonic adventure 2 gives the impression of her being a part of the crew just constantly not caught up in what's going on. Naturally she'd be invested getting her beloved out of prison but he is so tied up in what's going on that he (and tails) don't stop to fill her in before she's also a wanted criminal. Notably as well, when the island is set to explode, where sonic says "I got to warn the others!" Others is addressed as "Amy-tachi". The word the Japanese use for we is "Watashitachi" which is the word for I with Tachi denoting people with them (watashi can also be replaced with of pronouns if you don't use watashi). It took my by surprise that between tails and Amy, sonic refers to any instead. Something about Japanese sonic makes Amy feel more a part of the group and part of me cries the many ways English sonic fans did not get it.

Edit: I have now played The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog and the writing team GETS Amy. I'm starting to wonder if Amy's Disney princessness is due to most of the media being kids shows right now and this was a steam game (mainly aimed at an older crowd). What's best is if plays well into the whole "Sonic is a bad boyfriend" concept I was talking about, he forgets her cake and is panicked. But Amy is also much more aligned with her old portrayal, she's excited and a little hot headed. Clearly she's had to organize a lot but also lavishes in it being her birthday. She doesn't over obsess on Sonic but she's definitely happy that he supposedly brought her cake and she gets to avenge his "murder". At the same time she's happy to be with all of her friends who clearly care enough to go along with this, even people you wouldn't expect like rouge and shadow. I know Blaze travelling dimensions is a joke but yeah it is crazy she did that for Amy who I think she only really knows though the Olympic games(I've only just started Rush). A murder mystery feels also such a good take for her, it's something extravagant but also a little occultish. Aligns really well with someone into tarot.

#tomyo says shit #sonic the hedgehog #amy rose #sonamy #sonic x

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sourholland · 1 year

Text

based off the taylor swift song style

a/n → hopefully all of you who saw the teaser enjoyed! to any of you who did not, i’m sincerely sorry for the few weeks i was not active on tumblr. i needed some time to myself and my own mental health. i hope you can understand. ALSO—again, a lot of you who requested to be on the taglist did not have it turned on to where i could tag you. feedback is heavily appreciated, especially if you are on my taglist for this fic (it’s long)!!!

summary → he’s the quarterback of the cincinnati bengals, a worldwide heartthrob with an ego the size of lake erie—but does he have the heart to match it? you’re the bengals newest cheerleader, desperate to prove how much you deserve your spot on the team. it doesn’t take much to catch the eye of joe burrow, however that isn’t necessarily a good thing when you’re told that any romantic relations between cheerleaders and players is strictly prohibited.

warnings → strong language, mention of surgery, heavily suggestive - nsfw

word count → 3.2k

remember to reblog and leave a comment if you enjoy!

SERIES MASTERLIST

Chapter 3

The cheer squad stood in front of the large tunnel the players would emerge from for their first preseason game against the Arizona Cardinals. Having already come out from the tunnel yourselves, you awaited the players now. In two lines that were parallel to the other, each of you was dressed in black spandex and an orange and black bra-top. Pom poms in hand, you tried not to think about that fact that Joe was about to come out that tunnel.

It had been about a week since you’d gone out to the bar together. A part of you felt silly for your reaction, like you’d overreacted a bit. Mostly because you and Joe were in no way exclusive, as well as the fact that you’d been the one to take the chance glancing at his phone. However, you knew why you’d left the way you did—you truly did like him. It was hard to be mad at yourself when you’d only thought he might’ve felt the same way.

He reached out the morning after, only to apologize and say that he understands if you don’t want to continue whatever it was you’d started. With you not responding, he seemed to have taken the hint. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to talk to him, but more so your pride leaving you to let the text remain on delivered.

“Alright, ladies!” Lily shouted cheerily. “I want to see your biggest smiles, I want to hear your loudest cheers! This may just be preseason, but it’s our first game time appearance of the season.”

Given it was just the preseason, the stadium wasn’t necessarily at max capacity. However, there were still many supporters across the board in orange and black. The voice of the announcer boomed, a large screen showing off this season’s introduction for the Bengals home games.

Through the tunnel came the first half of the team, they wore their white on white uniform this time with the orange helmet. The team was going wild, all of the girls screaming and cheering loudly.

“And here are our offensive starters!” His voice sounded as all of the players had come through the lane you and the other cheerleaders had created for them.

They began to rattle off some of the individual men’s names: Chris Evans, Jacques Patrick, Cordell Volson. It was only when they continued to progress down the list with more and more guys running out that you realized something. You hadn’t seen Joe since that night, which you had regarded as lucky. However, it was incredibly unlikely that in all of the time the team would’ve been preparing for the first preseason game, he’d have been nowhere to be seen the entire time.

Your suspicions were made a reality when they brought out Brandon Allen as the starting quarterback of the game. Not even just this, but Joe was nowhere to be seen. Some of the guys who would start during the regular season were merely with the rest of the team, it wasn’t unusual that they didn’t start during preseason. Joe was completely MIA, though.

Sometime after you finished on the field and stood for the National Anthem, you found yourself unable to stop thinking about the fact that Joe wasn’t at the game. By the time the rest of the squad had taken their sideline spot to start your dance routine, you had to will yourself to focus.

Between dances, you glanced back at the players bench in hopes of realizing you’d simply missed something. It remained the same, though.

“Hey, Lola,” you tried to sound nonchalant during halftime. “Don’t you think it’s weird Joe Burrow is like nowhere to be found.”

“I guess I hadn’t really noticed,” she took a long sip from her Stanley water bottle. “But I mean not really, I heard he went into emergency surgery like a week ago or something.”

“For what,” you nearly gasped. “I mean, that’s awful, do you know what for?”

Lola looked a bit surprised at your sudden care and consideration for the guy. She brushed it off nonetheless. He was attractive as hell and any girl would’ve had a little bit of a crush on him.

“I think his appendix burst,” she told you.

It was no surprise to you that you hadn’t heard, you didn’t watch much ESPN or follow any sports updates on social media. Maybe if you hadn’t decided to completely ghost Joe, you’d have known he’s been in the hospital.

The remainder of the game was pretty much a shit show, the Bengals lost, and even though it was only preseason, it still wasn’t a great way to start off. Guilt overwhelmed you, making it hard to focus on the routines you played key parts in. It was almost like you weren’t in your right headspace at all. All over a fucking boy. Suddenly, you were sixteen and caught up on a guy again. At least that’s how it felt.

As soon as you got into the locker room, your coaches began to ream every girl. Nobody was completely invested. Maybe it was the fact that it wasn’t a proper game, or maybe it was just the blistering heat that had you all making simple mistakes.

By the time you’d gotten to rubbing off the heavy makeup and tying your hair back, the locker room had almost cleared out. You slipped out of your uniform, getting under the hot water of the shower and trying to expel any of the last few hours from your mind.

A pair of athletic shorts and tank top later and you were heading back out to your car with your cheer bag in hand. Only then did you decide to bite the bullet and swallow your pride.

The phone rang once before he picked up.

“Y/N?” Joe’s voice came through the speaker that had now connected to CarPlay.

“Hey, Joe,” you said meekly. “Are you okay? I only heard about your surgery today and I was just wanting to call and see if you were okay—or I mean, if you need anything.”

He breathed out a laugh, you could practically hear his shit-eating grin through the phone. Your face was hot with embarrassment, heart beating a mile a minute as you sat in the driver seat of your car.

“Seems like it’s you missing me now,” he teased you.

“Hardly,” you couldn’t help smiling. “But seriously, Joe. Are you okay?”

“I’m okay, yeah. Recovering from surgery at home this past week. Next week I’m cleared to start throwing around the football again, I’m just hoping to be all set to play for the start of the season next month.”

There was a silence, both of you just sort of waiting for the other to say something. He so desperately wanted to believe that this was you expressing that you weren’t totally washing your hands of him. You just wanted to know that he still wished to hear from you.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he finally said. “For the way stuff went down last week.”

“You don’t have to apologize, Joe. I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did. I guess I was just kind of upset over—”

“No, this is on me. I know you probably don’t believe it, but I’m really not the type of guy to get around like that. She was honestly just someone who I’d been on a few dates with, it was absolutely nothing serious. Every now and again she hits me up wanting to fuck, I haven’t even seen her since like March.”

He was right. You really didn’t believe that, but there was also a part of you that wanted to protect your peace. He was making an effort at least. Or maybe you were just naive to the reality of the situation. Whichever it was, you found yourself cursing Joe Burrow and his fucking charm.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah, Joe. I get it.”

“Well, I mean now that all that’s sorted, I am kind of feeling a little weak. Maybe you could come over and give me a sponge—”

“Joe!” You laughed.

He was also laughing, cheeks beginning to ache from smiling the entire phone call. You were beyond flustered, rolling your eyes at his boyish comment about you bathing him. He was definitely flushed, wanting to continue to make you laugh.

“Do you want to come over?” He asked, laughter dying down.

There was an internal debate going on in your mind, to say yes would just put you back at square one. To say no, well then you’d just be pissed off at yourself for not taking him up on his offer.

“Sure,” you agreed. “Yeah, sure. I’ll come over.”

He excitedly told you that he’d text you his address, to which you responded wearily about how you look like you’d just fought in a war. He only said that he didn’t mind, you did mind, though. At least you’d been able to thoroughly shower and wash all of the foundation and body glitter away with the loss of the game.

The drive from the stadium to Columbia-Tusculum, Joe’s street, wasn’t bad. Pulling into his driveway, you were almost surprised that he didn’t sport some huge home with at least ten empty rooms with nobody to fill them. Instead, you found yourself staring up at his nice, townhouse looking space. Parking outside of one of the two garages, you could see his Porsche through the tinted glass of the garage door.

Suddenly, you felt a bit self conscious of the simple shorts and align tank top you were wearing. It was late and dark, there were a set of steps up to Joe’s porch that you started up. He must’ve heard your car pull in because as soon as you approached the front door, it swung open to reveal Joe dressed in black sweatpants and a grey Bengals hoodie.

“You found the place alright?” He asked, red cheeks illuminated from the light inside of the house.

“GPS found the house just fine,” you laughed, letting him pull you into the entry way.

There was a mud room to the right of you, filled with all of his sneakers and cleats in concise rows. He had some jackets hung up on the hooks and a few pictures on the walls of himself and his family.

“This is you?” You asked, staring at the picture of a small boy in his flag football uniform.

“Yeah,” he chuckled.

Slipping off your sneakers, you felt a draft in the house that sent goosebumps up your arms. You had a sweatshirt in the car, but since you’d just gotten inside, you didn’t want to already start coming in and out.

“You look oddly energetic for someone who just had surgery,” you noticed.

“I feel a lot better, I’ve lost a good amount of weight since the surgery, though. Plus when they cut into me, I was bound to lose some core muscle, it’ll all have to be built back up.”

He lifted up his sweatshirt, your eyes immediately going to the waistband of his briefs that sat snug on his hips. He pulled both his briefs and sweats down slightly, leaving you with the sight of his toned stomach and V-line. On his right side, close to his hip was a stitched incision.

“It’s healing, at least,” you said, pulling your gaze from his middle and finding his eyes once more. “That counts for something.”

Joe took you around the downstairs of his house, showing you around a bit and commenting on things like pictures to a few of the plaques he’d earned that now adorned his walls. He rambled on and on about growing up playing football, asking you if you’d had a similar experience in your sport.

He kind of reminded you of those guys who always end up scrolling through their entire camera roll and showing you pictures from each part of their life. It was cute, though. He seemed thoughtful and interested in what you responded and how you resonated with his passions.

“We could watch a movie,” he suggested as you came into the living room.

“Sounds good to me,” you chuckled, taking a spot on the end of the coach.

Joe sat down in the center, not wanting to press you in the slightest. He had a neatly folded stack of blankets on the loveseat, but you felt awkward asking him for one. The shorts and align tank was simply not doing it, though. As Roku City lit up the screen, you pulled your knees to your chest and tucked your arms in. Joe looked over and rolled his eyes teasingly, assuming you were just too prideful to say you’re cold.

Without saying a word, Joe removed his hoodie and threw it at you. He was left in a simple black T-shirt, snickering and picking the remote back up. He watched as you tried to protest, but pulled the large hoodie over top of your head nonetheless. His being 6’4 allowed for it to hang a lot lower on you than usual, bunching at the wrists and acting as mittens.

“Rocky?” He asked, how predictable of him.

“A classic,” you grinned. “Could never say no to Rocky.”

Joe felt himself growing hard underneath his sweatpants at the sight of you in his sweatshirt, curled up on his couch. He couldn’t help but watch as you tied your hair up, leaning back watching the screen. His eyes fell to your bare legs, thinking about how he’d fucked you in the back of his car.

“What?” You laughed softly, catching him staring at you.

“Nothing,” he mumbled, looking back to the screen. “Do you want a blanket?”

Finally, you thought. As you shifted over a bit to grab the blanket he’d gotten, you felt yourself nearing his side and wondered if he minded if you sat beside him. He was warm, his eyes trained on the TV as he handed it to you.

When you didn’t move back to your original spot, Joe internally thanked God. He watched as you unfolded the fluffy white throw, staring at it in contemplation and offering a part of it to him to share. He nodded in response, face flushed as you moved into his side. You both were right beside each other now, sharing the same blanket.

“I’m glad you called me,” Joe whispered to you, as if it was a secret.

“Me too,” you yawned. “I just had to see if you were okay, I mean when I didn’t see you at the game I got worried.”

Joe draped an arm over your shoulder, making you lean into him a little farther. It wasn’t long before he heard your steady, even breaths. He saw your eyes had fluttered shut, legs curled up next to his. He clicked the power button on the remote and decided to shift the both of you to be fully laying on the couch rather than off of it.

Grabbing a throw pillow, Joe stuck it behind his head and felt you settle in beside him. Both of you were sprawled out down the couch, your legs askew and wrapped up in his. He closed his eyes as you nestled in further and couldn’t help letting himself rest.

When you woke up, Joe was gone and you were drooling all over his couch cushion. He’d covered you in another blanket before he left you, making it hard for you to even will yourself up.

You truly hadn’t meant to stay the night, you planned to come over and see him and leave to go home. You’d woken up earlier than usual for game day and you were exhausted by the time you’d gotten to his house, it was no surprise that you fell asleep soon after.

“Fuck,” you yawned, grabbing your phone off the side table.

Sydney: BITCH

Sydney: Why the fuck does Life360 say you’re in Columbia-Tusculum???!!!!

Sydney: DICK APPOINTMENT!?!?

Choosing to ignore that, you answered a text from your mom and stretched for a second before standing up and deciding you should try and find Joe. It didn’t take much, following the loud booming speaker to his workout room.

He wore basketball shorts and a muscle shirt, only doing very simple stretches that would not strain his body or agitate his healing process. He’d done some walking on the treadmill, staying hydrated and active even from home.

“Hey,” you came into the doorway. “I’m really sorry I fell asleep last night, I didn’t mean—”

“Y/N,” he laughed. “I enjoyed last night too much to let you apologize for it. So stop, I’m not sorry and neither should you be. Did you know you drool? When you sleep, I mean.”

So fucking embarrassing, you thought.

Joe offered to make you breakfast, to which you politely declined. He showed you to the bathroom, where he gave you a spare toothbrush. He was more than inviting, but a part of you still felt like you’d overstayed. He sat on top of the island in the kitchen, looking at you as you leaned against a countertop.

“You don’t have to go, you know?” He told you with a grin. “I’m not even allowed to go sit in on practices until tomorrow.”

“I do,” you gave him a look.

Joe sighed defeatedly like a child, pushing himself off the island and wincing a bit. There was no point in arguing with you. He only enjoyed your company, though. For some reason he liked the way you described things, the way you always listened when someone else was telling you about something. He realized that it didn’t matter if you had no clue in the world about the subject matter, talking to you was like discussing it with your best friend.

“Can I at least walk you out to your car?” He asked you, cocking his head to the side and using the pad of his thumb to brush an eyelash off your cheek.

“Yes,” you answered.

He led the way out, letting you slip your shoes on in the mud room once again. He only put on a pair of slides, unlocking and opening the front door to let you both out onto the front porch. Joe motioned your forward, shutting it behind him and laying a hand on the small of your back without even thinking.

As you unlocked your car, you felt him trail close behind and you both stopped at the driver side door. The proximity between the two of you had closed a considerable amount, he was standing in front of you and casting a look downwards to meet your gaze.

“Thank you for letting me stay over, Joe.”

He leaned in and pressed a chaste, but sweet kiss to your lips. His own cheeks had been shaded a nice pink color as he smiled into the brush of your lips. He held your car door open for you and watched as you got inside.

“I’ll see you soon, Y/N,” he tells you with that famous smile, running a hand through his already messy hair.

“Bye, Joe.”

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