#i’m not going to say the name of the account i just wanted to rant
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i was going through this one page on instagram & i really respected their posts, even if i found them challenging, until i started seeing them talk about “abrahamic religions” as part of white supremacy & how they need to be torn down to return to indigenous practices. like absolutely MAJOR decolonization needs to happen around christianity & there is a history of islam being imposed on groups like the persians through conquest but arguing that islam & judaism are inherently white/privileged/non-indigenous or have the exact same beliefs or colonial history as christianity…i can’t get behind that at all
#and that’s not even going into the fact that in some parts of the world#christians are oppressed as a religious minority#this person was also holding up the genocide against palestinians as an example of ‘abrahamic religious supremacy’#being used to justify violence against people of color#as if the state of israel represents judaism as a whole & there aren’t palestinian jews#if that isn’t blatant antisemitism couched in progressive language idk what is#i’m not going to say the name of the account i just wanted to rant#islamophobia#antisemitism
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I just need an imagine with joe paying for readers law school or something student loans are killing me
How about a blurb? I’m not in the mood for a full imagine, but I love this
idk if you wear glasses, if not, imagine theyre blue light glasses.
*************
“I don’t understand how you’re willing to go through all this school.” Joe said as he watched you flip through your notes, his eyes scanning your writing as you jerked the notebook back, trying to find the answers you needed.
“Because I want to be able to support myself Joe.” You replied as you pushed your glasses back up your nose.
“I can support you baby.” He said as he leaned closer to you.
You placed your hand on his cheek, giving it a few small pats as you grinned at him, “I know you can, but you’re not going to.”
“That’s what you think.” He smirked.
“But you’re not.” You said as you took your glasses off and closing your notebook, “I won’t let you. I need to be independent when it comes to this. If something ever happened between us, I don't want to not have anything.” You continued, “I need to be able to support myself.”
“How are you even paying for this much school?” He asked after you finished your rant.
“Too much. I’m in debt up to my eyeballs.” You said as he frowned.
**
Days had passed and you hadn't heard from Joe too much; well that was until he busted into your shared house, immediately hollering your name, a charming grin on his face as he held a small receipt in his pocket. He has came back from practice, as far as you knew, but you didnt know he had made a pit stop by the financial aid office on your college’s campus.
“Hi baby.” He grinned as he leaned over the back of the couch, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.
“What has you in such a good mood?” You asked as he hopped over the back of the couch, landing on it with a thud.
“Just out of curiosity, are you able to see how much you owe on your loans?” He asked, knowing damn good and well you could. He was trying to provoke you to look them up.
“Uh- yeah. Why?” you did exactly what he wanted without him saying it as you went to your colleges website, signing into your account, “What the fuck?” You were star struck at the amount on the screen.
Student Loans: $0
Payment Status: Paid in FULL
“Joesph Burrow, what the hell did you do?”
He tossed the slightly crumpled receipt at you as you watched his grin become bigger. You grabbed the receipt, seeing the amount your student loans was for paid completely.
“You did not.”
“I did.” He said, “It was the least I could do. You constantly take care of the house when I’m gone. You work as much as you can while being a full time law student. You deserve something and you deserve not to live in debt after you graduate.”
“You didnt have to.” You mumbled, “I can’t let you do this.”
“it’s too late.” He chuckled.
“I will be paying you back.” You said.
“No you won’t, but I know you're going to argue, so I’ll settle with you.” He said as he inched closer, his breath fanning on your face, “How about the money you were paying for your loans, you still in a savings account and well use that for our honeymoon?” He grinned.
“Honeymoon? Joe, we’re not even engaged.” You laughed.
“I know, but I also know I want to marry you.” He said before pressing a kiss to your lips.
“Deal.” You murmured against his lips, “and good, because I want to marry you too.”
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There was a post of someone saying “i don’t know why everyone hates john dory so much” and I was like people hate him? Why? Then I thought about it and a pounding feeling of frustration beat through my chest. [I’m ranting about it, this is full on just talking and my OPINION.]
I don’t hate him, but a small part of me will always dislike him. I’m the eldest with 5 little siblings, I understand responsibility and just wanting everything to be perfect, I get that, I do. He’s very complex, but the reason I don’t like him is because he was the downfall for the entire group and not once did he ever apologize. He just expected things to go back, he never apologized to Branch, actually he didn’t apologize to any of his brothers. No one did, but everyone else knew why they left and that was because of John Dory. He didn’t apologize to anyone, everyone else was actually pretty cool with one another.
Even after John Dory found out all the other brothers left the same night he did, he still did nothing to apologize. His actions caused a reaction from everyone and led to how Branch was.
I relate to leaving my younger siblings. Unfortunately I am John Dorys mirror image. On the other hand though, I couldn’t ever imagine turning up after so long (even if it was an emergency) and just expecting everything to be okay, acting like I’m the boss of them. Rushing them, pulling them from their family, having a lack of respect for the people you really didn’t get to watch grow. A lack of respect for the people who told you how you were disrespecting them and then you walked out.
They all could’ve handled it differently, so differently that Branch never would’ve had to be gray. They didn’t though.
John Dory still did not take into account any of their feelings, none of their feelings as they were going to save Floyd. He didn’t respect Clay and how he changed, he didn’t respect Bruce’s name change and the fact he was a father, he told Branch they would all split off again knowing good and damn well Branch barely had them growing up, barely.
Not a single apology in sight, in ear shot.
Don’t get me wrong, I adore all of the BroZone members. I love the fanart, I love the songs, I love the stories, I’m writing stuff about it too. I love their characters. No matter how much I adore John Dory, how complex he is, a part of me will always remember he never apologized for everything he said and everything he did.
And if the creators of Trolls weren’t cowards and delved deeper into Branch’s feelings, I’m very sure that Branch will always remember a lack of apology as well no matter how much he and his brothers bonded.
Edit: Read it fucking clearly when I say “none of them apologized but this is why i don’t like JD” i could make a tangent about all of them but this is about JD. So shut the fuck up.
#trolls#trollstopia#john dory#trolls john dory#john dory trolls#dreamworks#dreamworks trolls#trolls band together#band together#brozone#john dory brozone#brozone john dory
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This might be a controversial opinion but some of y’all need to learn to pick your battles and stop chasing the validation of PJMs and JJKs. Who cares if JJKs are hyping some fictional friendship and writing fanfictions because Jungkook stood next to some random dude twice? Who cares if solo fanbases crop out and don’t post the whole picture (that no one should be reposting btw)? Who cares if PJMs and JJKs don’t acknowledge their friendship? As long as they aren’t dragging Jimin or JK, or even overtly saying anything negative about their bond, literally why do some of you guys care what solos of all people think?
It’s odd to me that some jkkrs will go into solo spaces and then try to get them to acknowledge a member you know they hate and regularly drag. What are you expecting to happen? JJKs actually not mentioning or paying attention to JM is literally the best case scenario. I absolutely wish they would never look at him or talk about him or post anything about him ever again. I literally don’t care if they think JK loves random solider #2 or Mingyu or an inanimate object more than he loves JM and neither should you. They are NEVER going to acknowledge Jikook’s friendship, so stop expecting them to. That is literally one of the least offensive things I’ve seen them do this week alone and it doesn’t actually hurt Jimin or JK, it’s just annoying.
100% make fun of them in your own spaces for being so lame and immature about Jikook enlisting together, they ARE super weird for hyping up this random friendship they suddenly invented (and yes I know they were likely doing it on purpose), it IS really frustrating and sad how dismissive so many people are about Jikook -- but I still don’t understand what some jkkrs were expecting. I sincerely hope that whenever the Jikook travel show drops they keep cropping them out and pretending they’re besties with random bartenders and camera men because the alternative is them dragging JM and JK and their entire bond nonstop. Solos are NEVER going to acknowledge their friendship and I wonder why some jkkrs seem to want them to so bad? You are CHOOSING to go into their spaces and be annoyed that these people who call JM slurs and animal names on the regular don’t want to acknowledge his friendship with JK - and some of you are literally antagonizing these people you KNOW have no morals over something like this.
This whole issue snowballed because so many people are bored and miserable right now and tkkrs especially are looking for a fight ever since Jikook enlisted together (or honestly probably since Tokyo). I see how jkkrs can make an innocent post and get jumped and tkkrs can say the most heinous shit about JM and jkk imaginable and get away with it -- but if you’re active online you should know how it is and learn to pick your battles if you actually care about the people you stan. There was no reason for JM or JK to get dragged over something like this.
Anyways this isn’t the end of the world or anything, but I did watch this whole unnecessary drama unfold and opened my twitter account this morning to see report accounts STILL trying to clean it up, so I wanted to rant a bit. I’m sure the Jikook show will unleash the most heinous discourse imaginable so I’m saving my energy for that. Obviously people can do whatever they want, and I’m not saying jkkrs shouldn’t rant or be upset about it in their own spaces, I was just surprised by some of the reactions. Jikook enlisting together makes it obvious to anyone with a brain how close they are, that’s why the people who hate them are being especially weird and petty and obnoxious. JJKs were writing about how JK tattooed ARMY on his knuckles because he knows ARMYs hurt him or whatever just the other day so idk why some jkkrs were expecting them to suddenly celebrate his friendship with JM who they literally hate more than anyone else.
#jikook#sorry to bring twitter discourse here#again 😣#but every now and then#i need a good rant#because i wasn't seeing enough people calling this out#and if it doesn't apply to you#it doesn't apply to you#i know it's not all or even most#but enough i wanted to make a point#discourse
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THE 3K HYEWKA SPECIAL — ★
INTRO. soooo..the blog hit 3000 followers a day ago which is like, still incredibly wild to me because as someone who was just an avid reader on tumblr i felt like the things i wanted to write, so few would enjoy and actually consume. and for the ten months ive experienced being a creator on tumblr, that seems to be such a popular mindset of people who want to write but haven’t written, the fear of putting in some effort and not have it returned back with love.
then i decided with all things considered, i would center this event around things you don’t usually see on the smut side of moablr (yes…yes i couldn’t come up with a better name than kink buffet). big age gaps, stepcest, tentacle, love making (vanilla but we don’t see it enough do we?), professor x student, hybrid, name anything and i’ll write it—hell, i’ll even write golden showers lol
it doesn’t have to be the filthiest fantasy you’ve had, thats not the point—just anything you’ve been really wanting, as a present from me to you <3
here’s a random kink prompt list you could use for reference, you don’t have to use it but its just there if you need words you can’t find
RULES/REMINDERS. (read this before requesting!!!!)
1. what i end up writing might not end up being what you wanted, in which case i hope you don’t send a second ask almost like you’re prompting me for a re-do. these aren’t commissions, i’m gonna always add an element that makes it enjoyable for me to write.
2. if you request, and i answer, please please please please reblog with some sort of feedback. you dont have to say its your ask, but please give some feedback. make a new blog if you really cant reblog smut on your main account or even just send an ask saying you enjoyed it or liked it if you do 🥲
3. i would appreciate if requests aren’t too long and limited to just a few sentences but if you really feel like dumping more, then go on 😭
4. anything i write because of this event might not be written for ever again—like i’m allowing daddy kinks/sugar daddy au’s but i’m not going to accept requests for that beyond this event.
OTHER THINGS.
the main event is the drabbles and fics, but there’s more to it too!
# kink buffet: q&a
questions about starting out on tumblr, writing tips, release dates, or personal life
# kink buffet: porn links
self explanatory. send porn links and the member you’re thinking of!
# kink buffet: fic rec
if you have any recommendations and want to rave about it to someone; me! im the person!!!!
# kink buffet: rant
had the worst sex of your life? first time didn’t go well? or just general rants of day to day life—i’ll listen and give advice if asked 😭
THE END.
asks for this event regarding the drabbles will be closed by new years, i’ll extend it only if i feel like i can manage more.
masterlist for the event.
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a (not) little rant about total drama’s portrayal of dissociative identity disorder in ROTI and AS
a few little tidbits before we get into the juice…
-i don’t have DID ! i have a dissociation disorder and i’ve done a lot of research on DID, but that obviously doesn’t mean i know as much as someone in a system would. if i make any mistakes or you want to add/correct anything, please do !
-since there isn’t an official name for the system as a whole, i’m gonna use “mike system” to refer to mike, chester, svetlana, vito, manitoba, and mal as a system
-before anyone says it, i know it’s “just a kids’ show” but it’s a kids’ show i’m insane and not normal about. so i’m very passionate about this. also kids’ shows should still be normal about mental illnesses/disabilities so idc
alright stinkers… let’s get into it
ok ! mike systems DID in ROTI isn’t GOOD representation but it isn’t like. the worst out there compared to some other media. some huge positives are the way the alters have actual triggers, and that everyone in the system IS portrayed as their own person, not just an extension or part of mike. i interpret the “gasp” the body does with switches as a stand in for dissociation (since they couldn’t really have him just sit there and stare into space bc of plot/time reasons) and it’s very easy to assume the role of everyone in the system from their personalities and triggers. the best example of this to me is vito ! vito is a “tough guy” who’s triggered to front by his shirt coming off, it’s easy to put the pieces together and assume his role is a protector who formed due to sexual abuse.
obviously, the use of the outdated term multiple personality disorder, the very quick switches, the fact the writers obviously did not actually research DID and just wanted a silly crazy character, and probably more i’m forgetting rn, are NOT issues to just ignore because of the good stuff. it’s definitely NOT good or super accurate representation by any means, but i don’t think it’s exactly super bad either. it’s iffy but has redeeming qualities to it.
another plus about mike system in ROTI, even though this isn’t really part of the portrayal of DID as a disorder, is that mike has a love interest that isn’t written as a joke. i feel like having mike in a romantic relationship is a BIG positive representation wise. it’s really important to me that even though zoey is confused and weirded out when she didn’t know what was going on, once she found out mike was part of a system she became more understanding and didn’t give up on him. being part of a system doesn’t mean you can’t have a partner, friends, etc and mike being in a wholesome healthy relationship is a nice breath of fresh air compared to other media portraying DID.
NOW. LETS ADDRESS MAL AND ALL STARS. GOOD LORD.
all stars has an issue with watering down characters and making poor plot/character choices in general, and in my opinion it’s the worst with mike system. ROTI had questionable at times but ok DID rep with mike system, which is why it’s so disappointing that AS took the “evil alter” route and whatever the hell the button thing was… bc they were SO close with having ok representation and then they threw it all away for an overdone and harmful stereotype. mike system in ROTI is a MASTERPIECE compared to whatever the hell was going on in AS.
even when you take into account that in a real life system, mal is most similar to the role of a persecutor (an alter who sabotages the body’s relationships and causes harm to the body/other alters as a way to “protect” everyone in their eyes (oops ! i was wrong. a persecutor isn’t always a protector, however they can take the role of a persecutor and protector which is where i got confused. mal is a both a persecutor and protector to me)) which makes SOME of his actions explainable TO AN EXTENT, it’s clear the writers didn’t have that intent and just wanted a spooky evil alter, which is really disappointing. along with the button issue, which is just…. so insane….
i choose to believe for my own sanity that the button was sort of an emergency temporary dormancy button and that chester fr just lied/didn’t know and made something up. but that obviously isn’t canon, and IN CANON the body’s trauma and serious disorder was literally gone because of the PRESS OF A BUTTON and it is absolutely ridiculous. and it’s portrayed as a GOOD THING.
systems are systems because it is the only way the body and brain can maintain stability and live after serious repeated trauma. in a real situation with a system, if there was somehow a way to get rid of alters in literal seconds, the consequences would be ABSOLUTELY DISASTROUS and unstable. obviously, integration and dormancy CAN be a good thing depending on the system, but it is a LOOONG and complicated process and watering it down to the press of a button in your brain is so inappropriate and insensitive. literally why did they do that. it’s just so disappointing to go from what mike system was in roti to what they became in all stars.
sorry u guys i am just passionate about this
#total drama#total drama revenge of the island#total drama all stars#td mike#td mike system#td mal#tdroti#tdas#chester svetlana vito manitoba#are mentioned briefly#sorry for being insane about this#dissociative identity disorder#keeb goes mad about total drama
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Title: All Grown Up Now {One Shot} ***
Older Brother’s BFF & Old Frat Brother Chris Evans x Reader AU
Warning: 18 + Content, Lots of Cursing, NSFW, PLENTY PLENTY OF WORDS, SMUTTT, Slow Burn
Words: 14.3K
Summary: Nope!
Note: Y’all know what pic this was inspired by. The girlies who get it, get it. Shout out to @caramara3 for shamelessly egging me on with this. XOXOX. Worked out well to be a b-day fic. Happy 41st to our collective man! LOL
Thank you all for reading. I appreciate you!
If you enjoyed this, please, LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG!!!
***NOT Edited/Proofread***
***Interactive***
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-Friday-
“What do you mean you have plans?”
You sat in your brother’s living room scrolling through Netflix on his seventy-inch TV. A TV that you’d given so much flack over him getting but it was now one of the best things in this apartment. You scrolled through your list selections under your very own profile under his account. It didn’t matter if you had your own account in your own apartment that was one floor up on the opposite side of the building. You passed some C-list action movie then a made for tv movie you’d saved months ago waiting for the perfect time to watch it.
“It means what it sounds like. I—have—plans,” your bother enunciated as he passed behind you crossing to the other side of his apartment from where his office was to where his bedroom was.
“What sort of plans? You didn’t even invite me.”
You purposely added a little more whine to your voice. You wanted to lay it on thick.
“Not tonight, Binky.”
You kissed your teeth at the annoying nickname, your mind immediately running to the one who’d first given you the moniker. Heat spread across your chest then traveled down your sternum to your belly. It made you wiggle in your spot on the couch. You’d always hated the name. It wasn’t a name given out of affection; it was one given to tease. When you’d been given the name now maybe ten years ago you were just in your twenties and hadn’t grown into the adult you were today.
Cringing at the memory of yourself from twenty you closed your eyes and huffed out a breath.
“That fucking name,” you whispered.
“What, still haven’t gotten over the name?”
Your brother’s voice came from right beside your head, making you jump. You glared at him, grabbed a pillow, and swung. He ducked, dodging that and the second and third swing.
“So much anger,” he teased.
“I don’t think it’s fair for you to drop me for some last-minute plans.”
He snorted, “They’re not last minute. I told you last week that this weekend was not going to be a hang out weekend. I told you it was my monthly guy's weekend.”
You vaguely remembered this conversation, but you weren’t going to tell him that. Again, you kissed your teeth.
“Should you be having a guy’s weekend with a whole girlfriend? Yvette is cool with this?”
“Oh please, V don’t own me. I’m my own man. I can do what I please, go when I want, see who I want. I wear the pants.”
As he continued, the true wearer of the pants waltzed inside the apartment using her spare key and quietly closed the door leaning on it to allow his rant to continue. Smiling, you hopped onto your knees in the couch wanting a good view of what came next.
“Ah, so ah you run tings, tings nuh run you,” you egged on.
“Damn right! Mi a bad man!”
He gave his best Shottas voice, and it took every single ounce of control to not bust out laughing.
“V know what it is.”
Your brother walked out of his bedroom and the scent of bergamot, musk and patchouli spilled out into the wide open common area.
“What was that?”
Your brother jumped back lifting his hands in a defensive stance, “Baby!”
Yvette crossed her arms and cocked her head to the side waiting for him to answer.
“Me? I wasn’t saying nothing.”
Unable to hold it in any longer, you busted out laughing.
“Speak your heart, don’t bite your tongue.”
He narrowed his eyes at you then shook his head. “You couldn’ta told me she was here? You know I’m your bother right. blood, me.”
You rolled your eyes. “Remember that when you wanna throw slurs around,” you said rolling your eyes in exaggerated fashion and crossing your arms in front of your chest.
“You mad petty. Just cause I called you binky?”
He approached Yvette and you watched them embrace then kiss. They’ve been together for six years now and they still didn’t live together but it didn’t seem to matter because they looked more in love today than they’d ever been.
“Why you gotta tease her with that damn name? You know she hates it.”
He chuckled, “It’s just a name. It means nothing.”
You didn’t believe that one bit. The person who’d given it to you could have been labeled as your nemesis. It wasn’t anything hostile—or too hostile. He just annoyed you at every single opportunity. Either it was a snide remark here or a sly comment there and they all were about your age, your height, the aura you gave off or the fact that you were the youngest. It was annoying. Then when you made jokes about how old he was, he went harder with the teasing until you were roasting each other then you were pouting and glaring at him. it always happened that way.
“You know he gave her that nickname to tease her about acting, looking and being a baby,” Yvette stated, addressing the elephant in the room.
“I mean, she is the baby. Out of all of us she is the last born and not to mention dead last. Ion’t know why mama and daddy thought it was a good idea to have another kid twelve years after me. Twelve years.”
You rolled your eyes then took up a pillow and lunged it at his head. When it made contact he snapped his head back to mimic whiplash.
“That was cold. I coulda pulled a muscle. So violent. Baby my neck hurt now.”
You watched Yvette baby him. They were adorable but damn was it annoying sometimes.
“Anyway, I’m dropping this off since I won’t see you till next weekend. Remember you not some fresh and green single man. Don’t act up!”
Your brother lifted his hands in surrender.
“I never act up. I’ll be on my best worst behavior.”
You snorted and Yvette slapped the back of his head playfully.
“When are you meeting up with the rest of them?”
He looked at his watch, “C should be here any minute.”
Your spine instantly straightened.
“Wait what. Here?”
“Yeah. He’s staying for the weekend.”
Your eyes widened. He’d conveniently left that piece of information out. You began moving getting ready to get your ass outta there. You didn’t want to run into him. You were not in the mood to go four rounds.
“Running away huh. He said you’d run.”
You paused then glared at your brother who didn’t look stressed, in fact, he looked entertained. “You’d think he’s your brother with this sibling rivalry you got goin on.”
“Blasphemy!”
“Why do you hate him so much?”
It’s not that you hated him. You hated his type. The type that came off cocky and charismatic with just a few words and the stance of their legs. The type that knew they weren’t hideous and knew they could talk anything with ears and a basic understanding of the English language into bed, the type who seemed to captivate everyone around them with nothing more than a smile. You’d seen his type everywhere; you knew them well and you weren’t impressed.
It didn’t have anything to do with his mesmerizing eyes that were deeper than twenty thousand leagues under the sea, or that he was so tall that he easily towered over you making you feel smaller than you were, or that well past thirty his body was anything but a dad bod, or that his smile could melt all the ice in the artic significantly speeding up global warming. Hell it didn’t even matter that on several occasions through the years you’d gotten examples of not only his strength, but his charm, and seen glimpses of that non-dad bod that made your mouth dryer than Egypt. None of that contributed to the reasons why he annoyed you. Right?
“He’s annoying,” you simply stated shrugging your shoulders.
Your bother and Yvette looked at each other with quizzical looks. Clearly they didn’t know what you meant. Your brother shrugged making a move to walk away but Yvette’s eyes lingered on you like she knew something you oblivious brother didn’t that only women would know. she didn’t say anything though.
Suddenly the bell rang, and you froze in spot.
“That’s him now,” your bother informed. Yvette was the one to open the door and in walked all six feet of him.
“Bro!”
Your bother echoed him and the two approached one another getting into their frat secret handshake which was a whole-body mini dance sequence full of moves that looked like they belonged in a Morehouse step group. You knew your brother had moves but seeing him do the moves and pulling them off made your belly flutter. The fuck, you thought. When the two men hit the woah you actually had to sit down. the fuck, you thought again.
“Yvette, how are you?”
He hugged her keeping the smile on his face.
“How are you Chris?”
“Good, good. You look as beautiful as ever.”
“Back off C, we may share most things but we ain’t sharing my woman,” your brother spoke up. Chris snorted.
“Don’t worry. Caring is sharing but I don’t want you to share her, you two belong together. Now other things--,” he trailed off making your bother chuckle.
His eyes landed on you and his half smirk and smile fell. You watched as his eyes looked you up and down once, then twice. Before those cornflower steel-tinged eyes made a third trip he shook his head slightly then glanced at your brother.
“Is this--.”
Your brother nodded. You straightened your back feeling the scrutiny of his eyes. They felt like weights. It felt like he was inspecting you, measuring you up to the last version of you he saw which was over four years ago.
“Nah, you’re fuckin’ with me.”
“Nope.”
“This is b—binky?”
You rolled your eyed hard then sighed. Here we go, you thought.
“No way. Wow.”
He took two steps closer, but you didn’t budge from your seat though some part of you wanted to stand tall knowing your heels would afford you plenty of height on him. Bolting upright your stomach sank. While you were taller, you still didn’t reach his head. which meant he still towered over you. Asshole, you thought.
“Wow, binky. I’m—wow.”
“I have a name and Binky isn’t it.”
Chris smirked then smiled that winning smile of his. You wanted to snort.
“I know your name; it’s just Binky has always suited you better.”
You planted your hand on your hip sticking it out knowing your stance accentuated your curves.
“Even now?”
Chris smirked and he looked like he wanted to scan you over again, but he didn’t. Instead he backed off.
“It’s good to see you Binky. Four years is a long time.”
You ignored the way your stomach flipped from the deepness of his voice or how you wanted to suck your bottom lip from the intense smells coming off of him. You even ignored the way his oddly patterned tan, black, cream and orange shirt hugged his massively toned biceps or the trimness of his waist and desperately ignored the way his black slacks fit him. Damn, the man always knew how to fill out an outfit.
“Not long enough,” you muttered.
The smirk on Chris’ face said he’d heard you loud and clear.
“Or too long. Miss four years miss a lot,” Chris said from his new spot next to your brother, arms crossed over his chest with on hand up, rubbing just underneath his bottom lip and his eyes flicking up and down your frame.
It was then you noticed the slight bit of grey in his beard. An evil smirk spread across your lips.
“Four years was enough time for you to grey I see old man.”
Chris smirked as your bother laughed loudly.
“Alas, not everyone can be blessed with young blood with not one grey hair on any part of their body.”
You shifted to your other leg resting your hand on the other hip. Feeling the win for this round, you smirked but caught his eyes once again skimming you, slower this time.
“You know what they say, with age comes knowledge and with youth—inexperience. Is that how it goes Binky? The corner still your favorite place to be?”
You scowled and glared at him.
“At least I’m not desperately hanging on to my frat days,” you muttered sitting back down with your back to him.
Again the win felt like yours. Then you felt the heat beside your head.
“No need to, I’m at my prime and the best shape of my life---I could teach frat boy me some things.”
He said it just below a whisper, but his voice held plenty of taunt in it, plenty of—something else. Glancing to the side at him your eyes met bit neither of you spoke again.
“All right, everyone to their corners,” your brother said pulling Chris back.
You stood and tried to shake off his words, and the way his eyes pierced into yours.
“Well I’m going home. Enjoy your boy’s weekend,” you said walking to the door.
Yvette kissed your bother once more and followed you.
“I’m sure I’ll see you again before the weekend is up binky. I’ll be here for four long days.”
You slammed the door behind you and clenched your jaw.
“It should be a crime for him to still have his good looks,” Yvette said before she pushed the button for the elevator. You didn’t respond. You were not about to agree with her no matter how much you did in fact, agree.
“He likes when he gets to you. I think he lives for your sparring.”
“He needs to live for his Centrum Silver vitamins.”
Yvette snorted and laughed loudly getting on the elevator that opened going down. Before the doors closed she leaned closer.
“More than ten years and still you two drive one another crazy. Ya’ know, there is a way to get rid of the tension between you that only requires a flat surface and doesn’t involve speaking.”
It took a few moments for you to get it, but your jaw dropped when you did. Yvette smiled as the elevator doors closed and another opened ready to take you upstairs to your apartment. Did she just suggest you hate fuck your brother’s best friend?
~~~~~~~~~
Five hours later, her words were still on the brain even though you’d done several things since leaving your brother’s apartment. You’d managed to get through your end of the week cleaning, get ahead on a few love, romance and fashion articles for the web magazine you worked at, accomplish an hour or two of shopping at your favorite mall, grabbed take out from your most loved restaurant and even ate it while you and your friends facetimed and group watched a few episodes of your friend watch show all the while drinking down several bottles of wine and trash talking everything and everyone you knew.
There were no way Yvette’s words should still be in your head but there they were wafting around and even floating in the air of your apartment.
Ya’ know, there is a way to get rid of the tension between you that only requires a flat surface and doesn’t involve speaking.”
As you finished yet another glass of wine, your mind wandered to some of those surfaces. Your eyes dropped to the coffee table in front of you, the rectangular dining table in the dining area, the kitchen countertop that was just in view thanks to your open floor plan, the window seat in front of your large bay windows hell even the floor caught your eye and the ottoman resting on it. Shit you thought, grabbing the wine bottle, and bringing it to your head forgoing the glass altogether.
“Eh-em, excuse me Ms. Ma’am, what was that sound that came from you and what the hell are you doing to that bottle?”
Your attention went back to your iPad and Nicole’s question. Then you realized your tongue was swirled around the spout of the bottle and your hands gripped around the thick middle.
“It’s not a dick, Y/N.”
They all laughed in an uproar. You rolled your eyes then took a mouthful of wine and put the bottle beside you.
“Where was your mind just now?”
You stayed quiet.
“Was it on a certain tall, white, and handsome best friend who is now in town and showing out all over social?”
Your fingers itched to grab your phone to see what Mona was talking about. Was he showing out? Resisting the urge, you grabbed the bottle instead and took another swig.
“Are you talking about her nemesis, Chris? Y/N I heard he got finer than fine,” Delaney piped up.
“Got? The man had always been fine. If anything he got finer. What is he thirty-five?”
You snorted. “Try forty.”
The peanut gallery tuned in all talking over one another debating if he truly was forty and why he didn’t look it and wondering if he performed like it. With each debate your curiosity piqued. To be truthful, your curiosity had truly piqued four years ago when you’d seen him shirtless in swim trunks and rocking a chest full of tattoos. You knew he liked tats and that he’d even added a few over the years but that is what you thought he had—a few. A few it was not, the man was tatted up like he was part of the Irish mob, rocking an enviable six pack, swole biceps and an ass to bounce two nickels off of to make ten cents, and sporting his Boston accent all over the place.
Your intense reaction to him was one of the reasons you avoided him the four years. If he came to visit you made yourself scarce, never appearing around him. In the four years he’d probably seen you a handful of times all over facetime and from the neck up. remembering his frame from earlier you realized now that he’d bulked up even more. You took another gulp of wine then grabbed your phone. You were a strong woman but why be strong when you could give in. You found his social media and looked at each of the eight pictures he’d posted since you’d left the apartment. There were two shots of him and your brother, one of them in a party bus with their other friends, men you’d seen plenty of times, most from your brother’s college days. The six that followed show the decent into debauchery the night had taken.
They were surrounded by drinks, bottles, women and food. The last picture he posted was of him seated and a bottle girl in his lap holding a rather large bottle of Dom as it sprayed into the air. His hands were wrapped around her stomach, and they looked happier than two turtle doves. Chummy, you thought giving your eyes a quick roll.
“See em’? He is thotin’ tonight,” Toni added.
A mixture of saltiness and annoyance filled you. The man had been a thot since the first day you met him with you were barely eighteen. A memory of accidentally interrupting him with not one but two barely dressed big breasted girls that eerily looked alike. They hadn’t noticed you when you walked in and continued the three way kiss they were taking part in while their hands entangled with one another’s feeling over their bodies.
The carnal sounds of their kissing and moans filled the room and you should have looked away immediately but there was a ten second lag where his eyes met yours while he continued to kiss the possible twins. The look in his eyes was such an intense one that it made a deep part of your belly bubble and tingle like a freshly uncorked bottle of champagne shooting an effervescent waterfall of sugar and loose inhibitions out over a crowd of rowdy partyers. Before the feeling intensified, you bolted from the room. Thirty minutes later, your brother officially introduced you to each other and the look that you’d noticed in his eyes thirty minutes ago was hidden better but still glimmers could be seen. It was mischief.
Every time you saw each other you saw that look—every single time.
��“Y/N!”
Snapping out of the memory you returned your attention to your group facetime.
“Girl you know that man is fine!”
They all laughed together as you brought your wine bottle to your head and that is where it remained until it was empty.
~~~~~~~~~~~
-Saturday-
The honks from outside could be heard clearly and were steadily getting louder with each passing minute. You tossed to you side and groaned. Another loud blare of a car horn echoed around you, and you flopped to your back. A loud disgruntled groan left you as you slapped a pillow over your head. Even that wasn’t enough to grown out the four honks that came after.
“What the fuck!”
You kicked off the blankets in huff of aggression then flung your eye mask to the side of the room and stomped to your large industrial steel factory style windows and lifted the latch that allowed you to open it. Sticking your head out, you let it rip.
“People are trying to sleep!”
You were ten stories up and probably looked like a nut job, but you didn’t care. This was just disrespect at this point. Slamming the window shut you hurried to your bathroom eyes still mostly closed. After a quick squat on the toilet, you stood in front of the half body vanity mirror looking at your blurry reflection. Groaning, you rolled your neck then began washing your hands. With your toothbrush in hand, you lazily brushed wishing you were still in your bed wrapped in the cozy blankets and back in the dream you were rudely woken from.
You drifted back to the last scene of that dream. You were sitting comfortably in your living room lounging around and in walked brother’s asshole best friend also known as Chris. He wore the tightest white shirt and medium wash jeans that hugged his waist so right. In his hands he carried a trey of treats—strawberries, small diced melon and wedged apples and pineapple. When he approached he took his place behind you then began feeding you the fruit teasing your lips with their juices.
When he tipped your chin up and brought his lips to yours, a small moan escaped you. He kissed you with expertise, and a passion that stole your breath but when he brought those lips to your neck you melted. Chris’ hand cupped your right breast then trailed lower and lower until they disappeared inside your barely there lounge shorts. You gasped and arched off of the couch, his name a whisper of a cloud on your lips.
Slowly your face came into focus in the mirror and horror filled you.
“What the fuck!”
You leaped back as if his reflection shone back at you.
“What the fuck? What the fuck!?”
You spit the toothpaste out then rinsed your mouth as if you were trying to rid it of more than toothpaste—maybe his kiss. As you thought of it again you gagged.
“What the fuck is wrong with me?”
You pressed your face close to the mirror and peered into your eyes.
“Get a fucking grip. You hate him. He’s disgusting.”
Those facts were not enough because you still saw his lips.
“He’s your brother’s best friend and he’s a whore!”
Still your head was not letting it sink in. It was still stuck on his lips, the imagined feel of them, the taste of his mouth that looked like it could taste of sugar and spice and every single thing nice. Your head was lost—a goner. Groaning you grabbed your breast the one he’d cupped in your dream. Your teeth sunk into your bottom lip and your reflection caught your eye—it was that reflection that had you tearing your hand away from your body.
“Get a grip! The dick might be good, but you don’t want no parts of it!”
Nodding, you wiped your face and mouth then walked back out on a mission for the strongest cup of coffee you’d ever made in your life. It was not you regretted those three bottles of wine. It wasn’t like you didn’t know what to expect, you knew that particular brand of wine crept up on you then knocked you down hard. Rubbing your forehead, you finished the distance of your long hallway then turned into the open concept living room, dining room and kitchen. It was then the scent of the coffee hit you like a pillow to the face.
From where you stood you saw no one and wondered why you smelled coffee. You took a few steps toward the kitchen but stopped when the empty bottles and take out caught your eye on the coffee table in the living room.
“Fuck.”
Changing course, you walked into the living room, bent, and gathered the four empty bottles of wine and the now empty food container. When you turned, you stopped in your tracks. There in the kitchen at the long concrete top island stood Chris with wide eyes, a dropped jaw, and an equally as frozen stance as you. Oh my god, you thought. He wore a crisp white t-shirt and the same medium wash denim jeans as you’d dreamed less than ten minutes ago.
“Oh my god,” you whispered.
Neither of you moved a muscle, you just stood there taking one another in. The way the shirt fit him accentuated his ripe and in his prime figure. He wasn’t full of shit last night when he’d said it. He looked it. your eyes trailed to his trim waist and the sliver of flesh peeking through thanks to his raised and outstretched arms. A tattoo looked back at you and from where it was you knew it was a new one—one you hadn’t clocked the last time you’d seen him shirtless.
You were so lost in your examination of him that you didn’t realize until now your eyes weren’t the only ones roaming. His were slowly raking across your figure. that was when you thought to look over yourself. You didn’t make it too far before your eyes stopped at your breasts that were pretty visible through the cropped sheer pink lace tank that not only was low cut in the front to show off the swell of your breasts but see through enough for the shape of them and color of your nipples to be impossible to hide. It all came back then. The bottoms you were weren’t bottoms at all. it was a matching lace thong.
You snapped your head up and knew he’d seen it all.
“Oh fuck!”
Your loud voice did nothing to break his gaze. Still his eyes were glued to you, even when you dropped the things in your hands to cover yourself the best you could.
“Chris!”
Stirring, he dropped the things in his hands to the counter then slapped his hands to his eyes.
“Fuck!”
“What the fuck!”
You were panicking now and the only thing you thought to do was run. So that was what you did. You ran from the living room right back to your bedroom, mortification filling you. You buried yourself in your bed under the covers and screamed into your pillows as you tried to come to terms with what just happened. Everything played in slow motion in your head and every single detail only made you feel more embarrassment. He’d seen you practically naked. He’d seen your body.
After a few short minutes you leapt up and crossed to your floor length mirror and looked at yourself. Yep, there was no way he hadn’t seen anything. Your apartment was well lit and bright, and you were even standing before the windows that gave you the best natural light for your selfies. You thought back to how his eyes roamed your skin and you groaned. He’d taken in every detail. Spinning around, you looked at your bare ass then clasped your hands over your mouth and screamed.
“Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck!”
Thanks to you being bent over to get the bottles, he’d seen your ass too. You stood there still and now in shock. Your brother’s best friend who you’d been dreaming about appeared in the same outfit from your dream and seen you practically naked.
“Oh god.”
You paced your room trying to figure out what to do. How were you going to go back out there? How were you going to face him from this day on? You pulled out your robe then tied it tightly against your body. It was then you thought on an important note—what was he thinking about your body. You hated it but you wondered how you stacked up to the tens of women he must have slept with in his lifetime. You groaned then slapped your head.
“What does it matter, Y/N? it doesn’t. It’s not like you’re ugly. You’re happy with your body. All your exes loved your body, you love your body. It’s a hot body. You’re hot!”
You nodded then shook your head. You sounded like an idiot.
“What the fuck is he doing here? How the fuck--.”
Your anger took over and you stormed out of your room ready to kick his ass. When you stepped into the living room again he bolted off your counter. You noticed his face was red.
“What the fuck Chris!”
He raised his hands and backed up as you got closer.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry? What the fuck are you doing here? How the fuck did you get in here?”
He held up a key that you knew was your brothers. Your jaw dropped.
“Fuck no! Where did you get that?”
“Your brother. He gave it to me. He said you guys have breakfast every Saturday morning and said it was cool,” he rushed out.
Narrowing your eyes, your anger reached new heights.
“So you just what decided a little breaking and entering into a woman’s apartment without her knowledge was a good way to start your Saturday?”
“I didn’t break and enter. I have a key.”
You rounded the corner of the island and you saw he knew the error he’d made. Raising his hands again he backed away.
“Y/N,” he cautioned. “Wait---wait---I called. I left a message, I even texted.”
You paused and sighed in frustration. You’d long blocked his ass.
“Fuck!”
“Check your phone you’ll see. I didn’t mean to—over step and see--,” he stuttered. You spun around glaring at him.
“See what? What’d you see?”
The struggle his eyes were going through to remain topside was evident. It would have been funny in any other situation but not right now.
“What’d you see?”
“Nothing! I saw nothing.”
After a few moments, you backed off and left wide space between you trying to ignore how your skin tingled being close. The silence stretched and introduced awkwardness into atmosphere. You groaned and caught whiff of coffee again then moved to pour yourself a large mug. As you fixed your drink you took in the spread of breakfast foods across the island. There were corn muffins, bagels, scrambled eggs with cheese, croissants, sausages, bacon, smoked salmon shavings, an assortment of jams and jellies and a few other items. When your eyes landed on the fruit selection you took in the pineapple, apples, melon and strawberries and you groaned.
“Oh fuck!”
You turned your back to it and took a big gulp of the coffee ignoring the burn on your taste buds.
“I know corn muffins and the turkey variety of bacon is your favorite,” he said in a timid voice.
Good you thought, he wasn’t so self-assured right now.
“I even got the fruits you like. Pineapple and strawberries are your favorites right?”
You didn’t answer and chose to ignore the fact he knew your favorites. He was not going to charm himself out of this blunder.
“Come on Binky. How do you think I feel seeing my practical sister--.”
You spun around so quick the liquid in your mug sloshed over the rim dripping onto your fingers. You ignore it.
“Excuse me? Your sister? I’m not your sister. We have no relation.”
Chris’ eyes locked with yours. “You’re right. I guess since it’s been so long—I see you—saw you kinda--.”
“Like a sister? Is that how you see me?”
Chris’ eyes dropped to your chest and seconds later he darted them to the side then sat on the stool on the other side of the island. Whatever he was going to say was gone.
“I’m sorry.”
The door then opened and in walked your asinine brother who would give someone your apartment key without thinking anything of it. He trusted this fool that wholly. He probably didn’t think any harm could come of it.
“Hello, hello, hello! I brought the cheese Danishes and the thing.”
As he got to the island he stopped and glanced between the two of you. “Uh—is something wrong?”
You clenched your jaw and took a big gulp of your coffee trying hard not to fling it at him.
“Did you wake her up, C? She only gets cranky when she’s woken up.”
If only he knew, you thought to yourself taking the stool nearest you and dragging it the furthest from Chris.
“Here, maybe this will make up for this,” your bother said sliding a pastel pink wrapped gift your way that was topped with a white confetti dotted ribbon.
“What’s that?”
“A gift. Chris got it for you.”
You paused and glanced at him. He averted his eyes.
“Open it.”
“I don’t want it,” you said before you thought about it.
“Come on, Y/N. This rivalry you have has to end. He thought about you on his way here and brought you a gift. Accept it. It’s definitely not like you to turn a gift down.”
You glared at him then rolled your eyes. He made you sound like a gold digger.
“Tell her Chris.”
“It’s okay man, if she doesn’t want it I don’t want to force her. I’ll just return it.”
He spoke without looking at you. Was he now ashamed of what just happened? As he reached for it, you got the urge to grab onto it like it was your precious and you were Gollum, so you did touching his hand in the process. Chris’s eyes met yours for a moment and it wasn’t shame you saw there. It was something sweltering, something complex, something--. Before you could place it, Chris yanked his hands back as if your flesh were hot coals and averted his eyes again. What was that?
“Open it,” your brother said through a mouthful of food.
Slowly you untied the ribbon then rested it beside you then got started on the wrapping paper. You took your time taking Chris in as you did it. He looked nervous, maybe even anxious like he was worried you wouldn’t like it. Your curiosity piqued even more. After a few minutes, you had the gift box in front of you ready to open. When you did, your breath hitched. Flexing your fingers, you hesitated.
“What is it?”
Before you, was a lamp like fixture that was all gold and intricately designed. Your bottom lip quivered so you snapped it between your teeth. You took in the lamp and smiled as you saw the replicas of star constellations you knew well. It was the night sky. You lifted it out of the box noting the heaviness. It was possibly real gold.
“What is that?”
“The constellations in the night sky,” you softly said.
From your peripheral you saw the side of Chris’ mouth quirk up just a touch. It was then you noticed the gold dome could be removed, so you lifted it and another intricately designed gold design appeared. This one was different from the first. Again you lifted it and revealed another, then another. In total there were four and you understood instantly.
“Why so many?”
“Because the constellations in the sky are slightly—,” Chris began
“Different depending on the season and when you look,” you finished.
Your eyes met and the anger and annoyance you felt for him minutes ago faded. This was a thoughtful gift. You loved the stars and constellations. You didn’t know he knew that about you.
“Is this real gold?”
Chris cleared his throat then nodded. This was an extremely thoughtful gift you thought. Pulling yourself together you cleared your throat, straightened your back then began packing the lamp away.
“Thank you.”
“You like it?”
Meeting his eyes you held it gaze.
“I love it.”
Something flashed in his eyes and that something made your stomach flutter. Both of you looked away from one another at the same time. Your brother clapped his hands once and smiled.
“Finally. A truce. It only took over a decade.”
Now you wondered something else. Why would he get you this? It was thoughtful, personal, some would even say intimate. Why would he bother?
After breakfast you showered and dressed then joined them for a shopping trip that they insisted on. Every store you went into, they followed. Normally your brother would moan and groan about shopping with you but with Chris as his company he had plenty of entertainment. Chris didn’t even look bothered by your store hopping antics. He quietly walked around not groaning once about the items you piled into their hands.
When you tried on outfits and modeled them your brother was the one with most of the critique while Chris remained silent. Though his mouth was shut, his eyes took in every detail of the outfits you chose. Every so often you noticed his eyes on you from across the store, noticed how his eyes weren’t as scrutinous as they had been before. Now there was something else there, something that felt dangerous to suss out.
Nearly two grand and five hours later, the three of you sat in a restaurant for lunch. While your brother and Chris talked about some baseball game, you scrolled through your phone ignoring them. Bringing the straw in your glass to your lips your chewed it. The burn of eyes bore into you making you glance up to find Chris’ eyes on you—or your mouth. The darkness of his gaze heated your skin more than the sun shining through the window beside you. Dropping his eyes, you looked back to your phone unsure when he began affecting you like this.
“Y/N?”
You turned to find Elijah standing there with a wide smile.
“Elijah.”
“Hey there beautiful.”
You stood and gasped as he pulled you into his arms for a tight embrace. The scraping of a chair against the floor echoed in the restaurant and you peeped back to see Chris standing with a confrontational look on his face.
“It’s cool. What’s good Elijah?”
Elijah and your brother dabbed each other up while you studied Chris and his odd reaction.
“Elijah is our Binky’s boyfriend.”
“Ex, you interjected unsure why you felt the need to clarify.
Elijah chuckled nervously making you feel a little bad about it. “Yeah, ex,” he reiterated.
“This is Chris. She’s like a sister to him.”
There goes that connection again. Like a sister. Hearing it now you wanted to cringe.
“Oh cool, cool. Elijah man, nice to meet you.”
He held his hand out and waited for Chris to shake it. It was a slow process but eventually he took Elijah’s hand and shook it.
“A beautiful woman can’t have too many brothers looking out for her.”
An audible gag escaped you and their eyes fell to you. “Sorry. Ignore me.”
“Am I seeing you tonight, peaches?”
Automatically you felt embarrassed at the nickname he’d given you after the first time he’d tasted you.
“Wow, Lijah,” you warned gently slapping his toned gut.
“What’s tonight, Binky?”
It was Chris who asked standing taller. You looked between him and Elijah wondering why the testosterone levels hade jumped.
“Freaknic party,” Elijah informed. “Peaches always makes an appearance.”
“Aight, cool, then we all should come. Right?”
Chris looked to your brother who looked confused but nodded. He didn’t look at you though.
“That’s cool right Elijah?”
It’s all good. The more the merrier. Anyway peaches, hit me up.”
His smile was wide and so damn sexy. He made it easy to forget what you’d broken up.
“We’ll see.”
He laughed then dipped down and kissed your jaw.
“Aight, stay up man.”
With that Elijah was gone and you all were sitting again.
“Why does he call you peaches?”
Your eyes met Chris’.
“Cause none of you ever wanna use my name. You so damn nosey!”
You went back to your phone, but you still felt his glare and it was hotter than the sun—much hotter.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You didn’t think anything of lunch as you began to get ready for your night. You went through the bags of clothes and shoes you’d bought earlier and tried to find the best one. When you were elbows deep in clothes you noticed a bag from a store you hadn’t gone into. As you dug into it, you pulled out a shoe box and marveled at the impressively blinged out pair of heels.
“Wow.”
A card at the bottom of the box caught your eye and when your read the words you knew who they were from.
Saw these and thought they’d look nice. Pink is a good color on you, binky.
-C
You scoffed. The man wanted this heel right between his eyes or better yet right between his legs. Mischief sparked in you. You’d show him. You pulled a slinky pink metallic dress from one of the bags and laughed to yourself. Let’s see if he’d still call you a baby now. For the next hour, you primped and primed yourself layering scents, applying your make up, adding some body glitter and even making your hair into the perfect specimen of seduction. Tonight was probably going to be Elijah’s lucky night but just for one night. Was it fair to him? probably not, but you didn’t care right now. You wanted to get your rocks off, shit it was verging on to a need.
When you got to the club you smiled and hugged everyone you knew. Everyone complimented your look telling you how good you looked. Eating up the praise you took a few selfies and posted them to your social media. No use letting the look go to waste. From behind you, you heard your name. Turning, you gawked seeing your brother and Chris standing there. Instantly Chris’ eyes scanned your body before he clenched his jaw.
“What’re you two doing here? I thought this was boy’s weekend.”
“It is. We just told everyone to come here tonight.”
“I don’t need a chaperone.”
Your brother shook his head and looked you over.
“No just a gate keeper dressed like that.”
You glared at him. “Don’t need one of those either.”
“Don’t worry, you got two,” your brother said motioning to Chris beside him.
Kissing your teeth you turned and walked away knowing they’d see the low back of the dress. You gave no fucks. You felt the eyes drawing to you as you walked through but when no one approached you knew Chris and your brother were close behind you scaring everyone away. Sighing you slid into a booth and they both slid in beside you, sandwiching you in the middle.
“You’re fucking kidding. Space.”
“Nope, not tonight.”
Elijah came over then wearing a black and white ensemble and a smile.
“Hey there peaches.”
You smiled widely. “Elijah, finally. A drink?”
“Of course.”
“You pushed yourself up onto the booth seat knowing your entire thigh was on display but not caring. Elijah reached for your hand, and you took it stepping onto the table and escaping the clutches of your chaperones.
“See ya!”
Laughing you let Elijah lead you away only glancing back to stick your tongue out at both of them. No one puts baby in a corner—or in this case, the middle. Once at the bar, Elijah looked you up and down and licked his lips.
“You showin’ out tonight, huh?”
“Nah. Not even a little.”
He laughed and shook his head. “I can imagine your brother and like a brother are losing their minds tonight.”
“He is not my brother,” you said on an exasperated breath.
“So what is he?”
You looked back to where they were sitting and found your brother’s attention elsewhere with his other friends that were now swarming the table, but Chris’ eyes were locked on you, and he looked pissed.
“He is my brother’s best friend—that’s all.”
Elijah came closer to you dipping to your ear. He was so close you felt his lips against the shell of it. Before that would have made you shiver—or something. Now, there was nothing.
“He doesn’t look at you like that’s all.”
The fuck, you thought. Glancing at Elijah he nodded. “Just sayin.”
You looked back to Chris and still his eyes were boring a hole into you. You snorted; Elijah was mistaken.
“You’re wrong. He even said he sees me like a sister. Calm down.”
Elijah wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you against him. “Just making sure you know what’s up, girl.”
You laughed. A few minutes after your first drink was in you, Elijah led you to the dancefloor and this was where the fun began. Elijah had always been a good dancer and he liked to show off often. You allowed him to lead you into a sexy, dirty dance and let him touch on your waist and back. It wasn’t anything he hadn’t touched on before. When you were flush against him, Elijah nipped your neck then whispered in your ear about how sexy you looked and how delicious you smelled. You wondered how long he’d been here and how much he’d had to drink.
Turning you pressed your back and ass into him and winded your hips. Elijah could handle himself and liked to let you know it and he didn’t let you break him not even for a second. You laughed.
“See girl, I can handle your ass.”
You snorted. “Boy, you can’t handle it. Hence you being an ex.”
Laughing at his reaction you pushed him away then walked off the dancefloor. From the corner of your eye, Chris caught your eye leaning against the railing of the balcony. Had he been watching this whole time? You approached him once you climbed the steps.
“Enjoying yourself?”
“Not as much as you.”
“You’re welcomed to go. I bet you can find a scene more your style, or maybe a bottle girl can sit on your lap here too.”
He scoffed. “IG stalking?”
“Never. No man deserves that.”
Not even me?”
He leaned a little closer with one eyebrow cocked.
“Especially you.”
He laughed to himself then took a sip from his glass.
“Why’s he an ex?”
“Why are you so nosey?”
“Just curious. It must not have been anything bad because you’re still—close.”
“Not that close. Every once in a while we hook up but it’s nothing.”
You saw the muscles in his jaw clench and your curiosity piqued.
“Is that a problem?”
He studied you and the scrutinous eyes were back. It was astonishing how one look like this from him made you feel small and submissive.
“We all got needs right? Maybe don’t tell your actual brother that though.”
“Ah but I can tell you—my nonactual brother. Right?”
He looked at you again a half-amused smirk on his lips. “Yeah. Your nonactual brother.”
You both chuckled to yourselves. After a few moments, you looked at him and took him in. He wore a nice coordinated blue outfit, a fitted sky-blue sweater vest inside a slightly different shaded blue blazer with matching pants. It was another good fit. Blue was definitely his color. Hearing him clear he throat; you found his eyes on you as your eyes were below his waist admiring the shape of his ass in those well fitting blue slacks.
“Em. Uh—thank you again for the—gift.”
“No worries. Maybe you’ll think of me when you use it.”
“Is that what you want? Me to think of you?”
Your eyes locked again. He slowly sighed. “You’ve changed a lot in four years binky.”
You could hear the stress in his voice as if it was the last thing he’d expected or wanted.
“Is that a bad thing?”
Chris looked away and spoke as he raised his glass to his lips. “Incredibly bad.”
“Why?”
“Nothing good can come from it.”
You were confused. What was he talking about? He turned to walk off but stopped.
“You coming, binky?”
Shaking it off, you followed him back to the table.
The night was spent drinking, laughing and dancing your ass off. You knew your brother’s friends were a good time, but you’d forgotten how fun they were. In between joking around with them you danced with a brave few who breached the huddle to ask you to dance. When that happened everyone’s eyes were on you watching to make sure none of them pulled anything. It was endearing but you weren’t some fragile dove who needed protecting. More times than not, Chris watched you, but he didn’t speak to you again and when your eyes locked his jaw clenched. It was bewildering, a puzzle you wanted to piece together.
A few hours later in the middle of a dance with your brother, he pulled Chris over telling him to take his place while he refilled his drink. Both of you stood there in an awkward way unsure how to initiate a dance let alone together. Slowly you began dancing but your bodies remained very far from one another. In all your years of knowing each other you’d never found yourself in this situation. You doubted you’d even been on a dancefloor together.
Suddenly a fight broke out behind you, a large body was hurtling right to you and the next thing you knew you were against Chris’ body with his arms wrapped around you. Your eyes met and everything happening around you faded away. There were no bodies, no commotion, no fights, hell even the music was gone. In the darkness of the club, you could still make out the exact shade of blue his eyes were—light icy blue. Good God, you thought noticing the way he held you.
His hands gripped your waist and hip and the way he gripped you gave you an impression of just how big his hands were—they were mammoth sized. Your belly quivered, and the searing heat from those paws only made it worse. You could feel your nipples pebble underneath the thin material of your metallic dress, and you wondered if he felt it too. The grip of his hand on your hip tightened and for a moment his eyes tinted darker—much darker.
“Fuck,” you whispered.
For the first time you noticed your back was pressed to something and that was when you realized that in the commotion, Chris had gotten you off the dancefloor away from danger and you were not tucked into a dark corner. A very dark corner. Chris’ eyes never left yours and from the way your body pressed to his you knew he was built under that shirt. He was in the best shape of his life. Your eyes dipped to his chest where the hints of his chest tattoos peeked out along with a little bit of chest hair. He smelled good.
“God damn,” you whispered.
Chris groaned and the rumble of it only made your nipples harden more—painfully so. They were practically begging to be touched.
“You—you okay?”
You met his eyes again and bit your top lip. “You?”
Chris’ eyes dropped to your lips and the longing you saw in his eyes made you press against him more.
“Jesus,” he hissed out.
“What?”
“Unfuckinbelievable, you’re oblivious,” Chris forced out.
The hand that was on your waist was gone and now pressed into the wall, caging you in.
“Oblivious to what?”
He looked at you and he almost looked like he was pleading with you for something. His hand on your hip tightened again and a flutter against your belly stole your breath. Before you could register what it was or acknowledge it, you heard him start with the first syllable of your name, but it was so low you could miss it, but what came out was not your name.
“Binky.”
He pulled away from you, steadied your frame, then dropped his hands. Keeping his head low he spoke.
“Let’s get you back.”
As he walked away it was then you realized why he only ever called you Binky and it wasn’t to tease you. It was to keep himself in check. That was an erection you felt against your belly. He wanted you.
~~~~~~~~
The best laid plans often go awry. That was the theme of your night. By the time you made it back to your apartment it was nearly three in the morning, and you were alone. You’d left with every intention of getting Elijah behind you to relive an itch that had crept up on you, but you’d left alone with more of an itch and plenty of confused questions. After wracking your brain for answers and clues, you decided you were drunk and imagining things. There was no way your brother’s best friend and your nemesis had gotten a hard on from you. There was no way he wanted you like that, no way he saw you like that. Right?
Sitting on your kitchen island with your bottle of Patron to your lips, you thought over the events of the night. You analyzed every word spoken from his lips. Ten years ago they weren’t so full, or so hypnotizing. You began to wonder if he’d had work done on them or had he just used them so much over the years that they’d just gotten better. You took another gulp of the fiery tequila and held your breath as the burn engulfed your mouth. As you thought over your night you kept coming back to the look of disapproval on Chris’ face. He looked annoyed whenever you were around anyone else, but looked angry when you were around him. What kind of confusing shit is that?
“Nothing good can come from it.”
His words echoed in your head.
“What the fuck did that mean?”
Then you remembered him saying you were oblivious. After another gulp you groaned.
“It was a fucking erection. He was hard.”
You didn’t imagine that shit or wish it so. It was so. Faced with it, you had to take another swig. As you did you heard the faintest of knocks on your door. It startled you so much some of the Patron spilled over your chest and down between your breasts.
“Shit,” you hissed sitting quietly craning your head to hear better.
When no sounds followed you dropped back across the island and stared at the ceiling. In the silence of your apartment and under the haze of the smorgasbord of alcohol you’d drunk through the night you finally faced the uncomfortable, terrifying, but certain truth.
“I am attracted to him.”
Another truth quickly followed. “I want him to want me.”
This one you said on a whisper as if you said it with bass the walls would hear and carry the confession down the hall, down the stairs and right to his ears in your brother’s apartment where he was probably knocked out from his own alcohol haze. Sighing you closed your eyes.
“You’re just drunk and horny, Y/N. That is all.”
Deciding maybe all you needed was to rub one out, you propped your heeled feet at the edge of the island spreading wide for no one but your smart fridge. In your mind’s eye you imagined there was something there and that someone just so happened to have Chris’ face. Rather than pausing to think why, you forged ahead and decided to use the mental stimuli. Your fingers crept over your breast, squeezing and taunting your nipple before dipping down between your legs. You slid your slinky thong to the side you trailed the tips of your fingers over your slit. A hiss escaped you when you found what you knew you would—a wet slippery mess.
“Fuck,” you croaked.
You had intended to go slow and tease your release but that one touch and the vision of Chris standing there watching you tipped you over the edge. Your finger circled your clit using the moisture there as lubricant. After a few tight circles, your spine tingled and your knees fell back even more.
“Uuugh. Chris,” you whispered.
You imagined his cocky smirk and you slipped two fingers into your heat and pumped immediately upon entrance. Your back arched off the island and that was all it took for you to be off to the races. Your moans and pants filled the space and steadily became louder and more desperate. You squeezed your eyes tightly holding on to the image of Chris in your mind and how he would look watching you get off. Would he like how wet you were just for him?
“Yes, Chris. Chris—haaaa, I’m so wet. Yes—make me cum, I wanna cum.”
The fingers now making fast, wide circles on your clit and the two fingers buried within yourself picked up speed and the sound of your wetness squelching around your digits echoed in the kitchen. You were so fucking wet it was unbelievable. No one had ever made you this wet. You could feel the pressure building within you, feel the tension and icy hot tingles that resembled the painful pinpricks of an asleep limb. You felt like this was going to be a massive orgasm.
Gasping you held your breath as the sensations overtook you and carried you wherever the hell they wished. You screeched and clamped your legs together, but your hands kept moving and inching you higher and higher and higher until your chest burned from lack of oxygen.
“Aaaah, Chris, fuuuck!”
Opening your eyes just a sliver an upside-down image of a blue blazer clad man standing just at your door flashed before you closed them for a few moments getting lost in the absolute bliss you felt. Your body felt weightless, like it was floating as tingles skittered all through you making you feel like you were magic itself, sheer powerful and ethereal magic. Your eyes fluttered open again and the figure still stood there. Through your blurry eyes you recognized the face—Chris.
You smirked, a wide gleeful, intoxicated smile spreading across your face. You were so out of it you were still imagining him as you rode the waves of pleasure, pleasure that heightened because of his face in your mind. You bit your bottom lip, withdrew your fingers then brought them up holding your hand out as if you wanted the imaginary figure to taste them—taste you. Your eyes closed again and seconds later you swore you felt a warm mouth enclose around your dripping fingers. Soft pressure wrapped around them then you heard a heady groan.
“So fucking delicious.”
You smirked again. “Mmmm.”
A soft lips pressed against your wrist then a sharp nic. Then your hand clattered to the island. Your eyes felt heavy and body barely there, fluttering your eyes open again you looked around, but you were alone. It was just you, sprawled out on your island countertop daydreaming about and cumming to the face of your brother’s best friend. You were so fucked.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-Sunday-
You groaned deeply as, Evan, the masseuse labored over you. He pushed into your flesh kneading your tense muscles not taking it easy on you per your request. Every time he applied enough pressure to realign a spine you groaned.
“Are you sure it’s not too much?”
“No—I need—all of this.”
“Stressful day yesterday?”
You scoffed remembering your actions last night. After your release on the island top and a quick nap that you awoke from in a fevered frenzy due to yet another wet dream. This wet dream led you to the shower where you once again found a release. Then when you thought you’d get some relief to sleep it was not to be, you went for round three and four back-to-back. You’d woken up this morning high strung and on edge. The softest material on your breasts sent you into arousal, everything sent you that much closer to needing to stick your hand down your pants. You’d never felt this out of control in your entire sexual life. this prepubescent boy shit did not happen to you.
“I guess that’s a word for it.”
“Well, I’m a good listener if you want to talk about it.”
Putting words to the things going through your head were dangerous. Did you have the balls to face it? should you even face it? You wouldn’t see him again probably for another four years. did your current malfunction matter in the grand scheme of things? Once he left you could push it to the side and bury it in your closet never touching it again. Your horniness of today could be forgotten tomorrow. That was just what it was after all—horniness. Nothing more.
It’s not like you wanted to go on dates, spend weekends together, cuddle in bed while whispering your secrets and fears, or have Sunday dinners with family, or exchange birthday gifts, Christmas presents or even kiss at midnight on new years. You didn’t want boo’d up or couple antics. Right? This was Chris Evans after all. Your brother’s best friend from college, his frat brother whose sordid past you knew all about. This was the man who’d teased you about everything, the way you dressed, wore your hair, did your nails, walked, talked, ate. Hell he even teased you over the men you dated or spent your time with.
“It’s okay if you’re not comfortable with it,” Evan said breaking through your thoughts.
“That’s not it Evan,” you said before you sighed. “The thing is I think I might want to—to have sex with my brother’s best friend.”
You closed your eyes allowing the words you said to float in the open air for the first time ever.
“Sooo—have sex with him.”
You snorted then laughed loudly. He made it sound so simple. Men, you thought.
“I’m sorry am I being obtuse? “
You glanced back at him, “Obtuse, Evan?”
“What? Men read too.”
You snorted and nodded laying back down. “You right.”
“Seriously. What’s the problem with that? There must be something that’s a no-no about it.”
“He’s my brother’s best friend—my older brother’s best friend.”
“So he’s old? How old?”
“Maybe forty.”
“Forty? Is this a young forty or didn’t age well forty?”
“Young in the prime of his life forty,” you replied.
“Girl you better buss it open.”
You laughed again hearing Evan voice the words you’d screamed at yourself internally.
“I don’t see a problem.”
“So it’s not a no-no when you think of my brother?”
“You’re not fucking your brother.”
You nearly vomited in your mouth.
“Sorry, but am I right or right?”
Sighing you nodded.
“Don’t let an older man scare you away either. I am currently boo’d up with this man who is nearly sixteen years older than me. I was apprehensive at first but honestly we have a lot in common and the bedroom—sheets on fire.”
You squealed for him.
“Now you gotta be honest with yourself. Is it you wanna fuck him or be with him?”
“Nope. I don’t wanna be with him,” you quickly corrected.
“Okay then it seems you know what you want. Get it poppin’.”
Were you over thinking this?
Two hours later, you were in your elevator arms filled with shopping bags and a slightly new outlook. You’d been getting ahead of yourself. You had no confirmation that this was something real and not imagined in your horny brain. You were here operating like it was said and done but it wasn’t. He could seriously not even want you like that. He could really just see you as a sister and then that would put all this in perspective. You were getting way ahead of yourself.
Once the doors opened on your floor, you walked to your door and found a package sitting there. You found your name and your brother’s name on the box and instantly knew it was a care package from your parents. They were crazy. They only lived thirty or so minutes away. They could easily bring things to you but that one time when they walked in on Yvette and their son was one time too much. They vowed to not do stop bys anymore unless it was scheduled in advance. You usually opened them together then divided the spoils.
Grabbing the box, you turned right back around and walked back into the still waiting elevator. A few moments later the doors opened on your brother’s floor. It didn’t take long to get to his door and when you did you used your spare key. You walked inside and placed your bags down then put the box on the dining table. After taking out your EarPods you heard a muffled voice.
Freezing you listened trying to decipher whose voice it was. You took slow steps to the closed doors. Your brother’s was silent, but you could not hear clearer. It was coming from the guest room. It must have been Chris. For some reason you didn’t think he'd be here. You knew your brother was out getting a cut and just expected him to have taken Chris along for the experience. Guess not, you thought.
You made a move to leave but then you heard a deep, guttural, exaggerated and plenty accented “fuck.” Your head snapped to the door while you stayed right where you were. A long hiss came next and a yelp. Curiosity took over then. With steady and cautious steps you approached the door of the guest room listening extra carefully. A loud groan followed nearly startling you out of your skin stopping you in your tracks. When the door didn’t open you closed the space and leaned on the wall pressing your ear closer.
“Ahhhh, yeeeees!”
Gahdamn, you thought. You had no idea his voice could get so deep. That was all it took for your panties to moisten. You pressed closer needing to hear more. It was obvious what was happening. He was getting a nooner out. You heard strangled whimpers and several huffs of breath—pants. He was panting and he sounded so desperate. You thought of the way he stroked himself. How did he like it? Slow and tight? Fast and lose? A mixture of the two? Was he going fast now? What was he thinking about? Did he rub his thumb over the tip to tease himself more?
“I’m so fucking hard for you. Yes! Play with that pussy.”
Your fingers tingled with the desire to move; you knew where they wanted to go. Fighting the urge you pressed your ear closer. His pants were no breathy, eager, and so fucking sexy. He moaned again, hissed then yelped. With that one yelp your hand clamped over your breasts. You’d never been happier to have gone braless. You slipped your hand under the hang of your crop top and teased your nipple.
“Arch that back. Fuck I’m gonna cum. Ah, shit! Delicious.”
You could hear his strokes now he was going for it, and you would have given anything to watch him go. His moans became muffled as if he were clamping his hand over his mouth. He said something muffled that you couldn’t make out, so you got closer. You were practically pressing your ear to the door now.
“Fuck! Y/N!”
The shock of it made you gasp. Realizing you’d made a sound you slapped your hand over your mouth. Before you could rush off the door flung open and there he stood with a flushed face and in a white men’s tank and black sweats. Neither of you spoke, you just stared at one another. His chest heaved like he’d been running but you knew that wasn’t why. Your eyes fell to his chest where his gold St. Christopher’s chain hung around his neck just between the peeks of his chest tatts. Had you been immune all these years? Had you worn some unknown talisman that blocked you off from all of this and now it’s effectiveness had worn off? Where the fuck was all this coming from?
“Uh---,” Chris began.
“I didn’t hear anything,” you rushed out turning to walk off, but Chris’ hand grabbed your wrist pulling you back and right up against the wall. Your breath hitched from the action but when your eyes met his, your knees nearly gave out.
“No? Nothing?”
Your eyes locked, you didn’t dare speak so you shook your head.
“Nothing at all?”
He stepped closer. You could feel the heat rolling off of him, coaxing your body index to raise. You were in deep shit.
“Nothing? Not one word, or a sound, or—a name?”
His face came so close all you had to do was take the remaining two or so inches. Still, you didn’t move or speak.
“Is this payback? Me hearing you, now you hearing me?”
Confusion swirled in your head but slowly you understood. Last night. You didn’t imagine him at the door. You didn’t imagine him watching you with your back arched off the counter. Your eyes bugged. If you didn’t imagine that then—he’d watched you get off with his name on your lips. Lips. His mouth.
“I can still taste you. Guess I know why he calls you peaches now.”
Holy shit. Your knees chose that moment to give out, but he was right there holding you up and against him. You could feel his hardness. He was still hard. Chris looked from your eyes to your breasts that were painfully pebbled and pressing against his scantily clad chest. His jaw clenched again.
“Jesus fucking Chris, binky.”
With that he pulled off of you backed to the opposite wall to press his back against. He looked like he was in pain.
“Get outta here.”
He said it softly, but you stayed where you were.
“And if I don’t?”
His eyebrow flicked up and those blue orbs scanned your body as he licked his lips.
“Then I am going to do something that your brother will kill me for.”
Still not moving you bit your bottom lip. “Such as?”
He scoffed and shook his head. “Something you don’t want.”
“What makes you think I don’t want it? I could want it—very much.”
Chris took a step to you, stopped then backed away. “Get outta here, Binky. You don’t know what you’re saying.”
“I have a name.”
“Oh I know your name.”
“When will you use it?”
Chris cocked his head to the side. “This isn’t a fucking game. Not one of our battle of the wits or words. This is--.”
“What is it Chris? Is it you wanting to fuck your best friend’s sister as much as she wants to fuck you?”
He sucked in a breath, dropped his head back and put his hands on his head rubbing his face.
“You’re going to—go Binky. This isn’t happening.”
With that he walked off going back in the room slamming the door behind him leaving you in the hall to face the rejection.
~~~~~~~~
That night you decided a home night was what you needed. The last place you wanted to be was around Chris or your brother. So after a rejuvenating bath, you put on your comfiest set, lit every candle you owned, turned on your mellow out playlist and indulged in one of your favorite bottles of wine. The quiet was welcomed. You had no problem being alone, a lot of times you preferred it. With the lights off and the celestial lamp Chris gave you on you found your nerves easing. A lot had changed this weekend. He wanted you as much as you wanted him, but he had a point, if he acted on it their friendship could be ruined. Was one night really worth that?
Your hormones said yes, it’s well worth it but they’d been friends for such a long time. They were really close. The trust between them was on a whole nother level. It would be crossing a line. Right? You guzzled the wine not stopping until it was empty. As you walked across to the kitchen to get another bottle you decided to avoid him for the remainder of the time he was here. That was the only way for this to fade away. Space and time were all that was needed for this all to be a distant awkward memory. Hell maybe one day you’d both laugh about it.
You walked back to the living room, but the bell stopped you. After a quick glance at the clock, you approached it. It was after eleven. You weren’t expecting anyone tonight. Peeping through the hole you looked into Chris’ face. He was staring right at you. Slowly you backed away.
“I know you’re there.”
Still you remained quiet and brought the wine to your head.
“Come on, Binky.”
“What do you want?”
He didn’t speak automatically, and you went closer wondering if he’d left. As you went to the peep hole you heard his voice and stopped.
“God help me---you.”
“I don’t know what that means.”
He released a groaned sigh. “You know what it means.”
“Good night Chris.”
“Fuck. Don’t be difficult. I know you want me as much as I want you,” he said lowly.
“Did you expect this to be easy?”
He groaned. “Nothing is ever easy with you.”
“So speak your heart or go on and jerk another load.”
“I want you. I want to—touch you, to smell your neck, to hear you whisper my name as you take my cock. Jesus Christ, I want you to take all of this cock. I can’t stop—thinking about it—about you.”
Your belly did somersaults.
“I want to taste you—again and again.”
It should have been shameful how wet you got hearing this. You still wanted to hear one more thing. So you waited. After a minute Chris sighed.
“Y/N.”
It was a strangled whisper. Bingo, you thought as you unlocked the door opening it just a little. Chris looked you from head to toe then licked his lips.
“Say it again.”
He walked inside, kicked the door shut with his foot then said your name again. Gahdamn his voice was deep again. You continued to back away from him, but he followed, stalking you like a predator. When you felt the island at your back, you put the wine bottle down and allowed him to close the space between you.
“Are you sure?”
“You sound scared old man. I thought you were in the prime of your life.”
His lips quirked and seconds later he was on you lifting you then plopping you on the countertop.
“You and this mouth.”
“What about it?”
Chris grabbed the nape of your neck bringing your face to his and whatever sly comment you had ready to fire at him disappeared on your tongue. The look in his eyes made you feel like he was going to devour you.
“Mouthy girls need their mouths stuffed. Is that what you want?”
You nodded. Chris’s hands came to your crop top and before you knew what was what, he was ripping it in half revealing your bare breasts to his eyes for the first time.
“Fucking Christ!”
When his lips came around your nipple you arched back jutting them further out for him to feast. He did just that. His mouth and tongue sloppily devoured your pert nipples licking, nibbling, biting and marking. You didn’t care, it felt too good. Your moans tumbled from your lips and filled the space around you. When you felt liquid streaming down your chest, you opened your eyes and found him pouring the bottle of wine you’d been holding over your skin. His mouth was there to slurp up the liquid. Any droplets he missed his tongue took care of. When he dipped his tongue into your belly button, you instinctively draped your legs over his shoulders.
The bottle clattered to the countertop and his hands found your G-string panties and again the material was ripped. He grabbed your thighs and pressed them apart back to the counter and stared at your sex. The way he looked at you should have made you self-conscious, but it didn’t. You wanted him to look. You wanted him to know that this pretty pussy was always here, and he’d been missing out.
“Such a pretty pussy.”
“It tastes good too.”
Chris smirked then buried his face between your legs. His intention wasn’t to tease you. No, it was to shut you up. He’d told you plenty of times your love of talking back would one day get you in trouble. You wondered if this was that day. You gasped loudly when he sucked your clit into his mouth and applied so much pressure you thought he’d bruise you.
“Ah, fuck!”
You gripped his head, digging your fingers into his hair using it to steer his head. Chris wasn’t having it though. He wanted full control. When you began bucking against his lips sliding your wetness across his lips and beard he moaned. Pulling his head back he locked eyes with you then spit on your pussy. Holy fuck you thought, he was nasty. It wasn’t long before he motor boarded your pussy, making you drop back onto the counter completely. Writhing against the cold surface you panted, moaned, whimpered, and cursed every imaginable curse in the English language.
“Fuck Chris!”
“Mmm, this pussy is delicious.”
He quickly flicked his tongue against your clit then sank two of his digits inside of you.
“Goddamn you’re tight, Y/N.”
He pumped his fingers into you a few times each time taking them further and further, when he used his thumb to swirl your numb you saw stars and not the light show currently going on above you from the lamp.
“Fuuuuck!”
Before you registered it you felt him rub himself against your sex. Snapping your head up to look your jaw dropped seeing him for the first time. He was hard, girthy and bigger than you expected. Your eyes met again, and his brow was cocked but he waited.
“Fuck me.”
Chris scoffed then spit on your pussy once more, though you both knew it didn’t need any more moisture. You were one category below a Tsunami. He pressed forward sending the thick tip in and lord hard mercy you didn’t think you could take a slow decent. Locking your ankles behind him, you pulled him in sucking his full length into your body.
“Holy Fuck!”
The wideness of his eyes said he was just as shocked as your body was. Though it was humming from bliss, his size was a bit of a shock. The two of you must have been feeling the same thing because seconds later Chris’ lips were on yours locking you into a kiss—your first ever. He didn’t kiss the way you’d expected either. This was the kiss of a man with experience, a man with swag, a man with passion. As his tougne swirled around yours, you began rolling your hips moving your body like a tsunami wave fucking him as he stood there. When he whimpered you knew you had him, however he pushed you down onto the counter, gripped your hips then plowed into you.
“Oh god!”
He moved with precision as if he knew just what your body needed. With every thrust, he nudged that special spot within you that you knew you’d be begging him to hit again and again.
“Yes, yes, there! There! Fuck—me!”
His thrusts sped and his grip tightened. When he moved his hands from your hips to your thighs he splayed you open like a freshly gutted fish and went to town. The bright spots of light you saw behind your eyes intensified and you knew you were close.
“You feel so good—better than—Uuugh!”
Suddenly a look of aggression came across Chris’ features and that was when he lifted your bottom half off the countertop hitting a whole new angle. That was when your first orgasm erupted from you. You clamped down around him. The action that would have made any other man cum only made him fuck you harder. You yelped as he pulled you up then yanked you to the edge of the counter so only half your ass sat. He sunk into a slightly squatted position then pistoned upward like his cock was a rocket shit and your depths was the expanse of space that he wanted to fully explore, claim and mark.
Your skin tingled, lungs burned, and ass hurt from the press of the hard countertop into your flesh, but you ignored it. It was all worth it because the pleasure you felt was something otherworldly, something transcendent, something alien.
“God damn Y/N, you make me want to cum, but I can’t. I can’t stop fucking this tight juicy little pussy.”
You gripped his shoulders then slid forward a little then began riding him as he pummeled your pussy with everything he had. Chris shouted then released a sound that to you sounded like a growl. You didn’t know and didn’t care. All you knew was you were rounding on orgasm number three and your body was still on fire begging for more.
“You take this cock so well princess. So—fucking—well!”
Squeezing him you let your release take you and when you heard him whine your fourth overpowered you. Chris held your hips right where they were then used your body as he saw fit. You could tell from the look in his eyes he’d lost all control, all senses and was only chasing the same rainbow waterfall that you’d touched several times already.
“Fuck! I’m gonna cum.”
“Cum for me baby, cum for me. Give this tight pussy everything you have.”
“You want it?”
“I want it.”
“You want this cum, Y/N?”
“Yes, fill me up, mark this pussy up!”
Chris squeezed your hip and ass, laughed forward once, then twice and on the third thrust you fell apart at the same time he did. The gush of him filling you up was so overwhelming that your body gave out. Chris’ quick thinking brought you back onto the counter just in time. He flicked his hips forward with baby thrusts still reveling in his release. You didn’t know how long you stayed there but you knew everything was different now. Slowly you began laughing. Chris weakly popped his head up, resting his chin between the swells of your breasts. As you laughed they softly slapped against his face.
“What’s so funny?”
“Nothing—just—just thinking.”
“What?”
He raised up but not by much, just enough to take your nipple into his mouth and suck, bringing fire right back to your flesh.
“This is what I’ve been missing out on all this time.”
You felt him lurch inside of you beginning to harden again if he had even ever softened.
“Not satisfied?”
You scoffed then shook your head. Chris raised his brow.
“I’ve always been a greedy woman—and this pussy--,” you squeezed him for emphasis.
“Is even greedier.”
A slow smile spread his lips. “Greedy girls get fucked within an inch of their life.”
“I’m counting on it.”
You at up and crashed your lips to his. Chris lifted you holding you in the air with just the tip of his intrusion filling you as your lips and tongues danced together. Your eye caught the time and you smiled on his mouth.
“Happy birthday old man.”
He groaned then dropped you down onto his cock full force. You screeched as he filled you completely with the brutal help of gravity.
“Prime of my life. I hope you know that you will get no sleep tonight.”
You smiled.
“The lord did say there is no rest for the wicked.”
You kissed again and he carried you through your apartment. Sleep was the last thing you wanted tonight.
The absolute last thing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tag List:
@chaneajoyyy @caplover22 @caramara3 @southerngracela @cyntgefel01 @vannahvannahhh @lorainnebabyy @patzammit @yourwonderbelle @pennywisesmistress @theblulife @kelbabyblue @bugngiz @kikimiyazaki @toniilaney @areubeingserved @chaos-crusader @thinkxlovexloud @cocothewriter @periodtcevans @bellaamor88 @mack-jay @titty-teetee @pananegra @wellthirsted @sup3rn0va13 @nova3312 @hello-therree @valkyriesnymph @squeackygee @niyashell @allmonstersxarehuman @zsuzstyina @peggy-potts @amelatonin @lvlyab @sullyosully @taylorveebee @renesmeeharelds @capslut2014 @ilovehatembj @thelittlemoistcarrot @sarcastic-sunshines @a-dizzle777 @taylorveebee @jesseswartzwelder @90sinspiredgirl @allnamesicouldthinkofweretaken @choices97 @jd-now-jq @actorinfluence @chrisgalore @rynabarnesrogers @ab-baybay @motivation-idontknowher @lo-cheu @builtalongthewaysi @momobaby227@drsunshine97 @cleothegoldfish @mauvecherie-writes
@thatrandomhetaliachick @missdeerstalker15 @queenbetter @ilovehatembj @briellableu @zaddysqueen7 @melaninhawtie @simplyyamberr @ashanti-notthesinger @chezdricks @euh-say-what-now @afraiddreamingandloving @ajspencer1892 @wakanda-inspired @chillavesss @theunsweetenedtruth @geeksareunique @aykanna @hanasamara @profilia @ollieveracity @autumn242 @missyperle @forbeautyandlife @kreolemami @songtoyou @designerwriterchic @firedolphin04 @academic-glowup @periodtcevans @nova3312 @naturalthrone22 @squeackygeecapslut2014 @queen-audsalena
@unknownmystery22 @thatcrazymarvelfan @mizcaptainwidow @angrybirdcr @cherrystainedlipsbaby @marvelfansworld @fanfictionaffair @kemkem101 @blowmymbackout @almostpurelysmut @blackgurlkillinit @simply-heaven @impossiblegiantrebelbasketball @renfrewscorner @choices97 @phreshouttherunwaaayy @heladoom @alyxkbrl @thejeneralvicinity @littlepreciousangel @evemej @queensevansackles @rosey1981 @laketaj24 @minton131 @trillistb @night-of-the-living-shred @chrisevansfanfic @scoop93535 @miss-jackson500 @purplehairgawdess @ollieveracity @maddeningmayhem @what-is-your-plan-today @tantricevans @evermcfearless @richonne4life @dumbchick @toni9 @briellableu @amennariee @rynabarnesrogers-reading @chrissbabybunny @brwnsugababe @queenshikongo3 @sadishdelray @what-is-your-plan-today @islanddgal @reignandrain @liquorlaughslove @doublesidedscoobysnacks @thefuckingluxury @surmya1907 @maeleeme @queenoftheworldisdead @coolbakeryprunetoad @naturalthrone22 @wonderlandfandomkingdom @starlite-starbrite @offrostandstarlight @zeedaye @partypoison00
@imthatbitchsworld @soul–notforsale @toni9 @someone-really-bored @venustrap04 @chrisevansdaddycap @kittykatlow @live-laugh-love-ki @asiaaisa77 @melanicia @fistmetonystark @storiestoldbyjazz @xsweetdellzx @jennmurawski13 @livinglifeformemyselfandi @crowngold @krrose3 @allnamesicouldthinkofweretaken @lost- ssoull @give-me-a-million-dollars-pls @shar74nett @cltex84 @badbitchhtown @petty-bitch-akira @cxmfort @unknownmystery22 @raveviolet @madixii @imthewarmpenguininthemiddle @ak329 @bernie-k @nina1800 @almosttherebutnot @smediumsmeatbae @nervousninjatheorist @lo-cheu @creole-mami @acciolove724 @shipatheart @captainchrisstan @ramp-it-up @bforbbgirl @i-just-like-fanfics @brownskinafro @jhayes6984 @badbo1-evans @msblkfire84 @jovanaprime @poshgirl2 @marvelatthis30 @littlepreciousangel @youremysuperstar @alookintohersoul @cleopatra-knowles @parkker-barrnes @zeelmol @qualitynightkoala @colorfullydone @jurneesjourney @unsaltedalmonds @basicchelsea
#all grown up now one shot#Chris Evans#chris evans fanfiction#chris evans one shot#chris evans birthday#black fanfiction#chris evans au#chris evans x reader#chris evans x you#chris evans x black reader
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Steddie Flower Shop / Tattoo Parlor AU
I am so floored by the response! It is absolutely so fun that y’all want to read my silly stories! This is a relatively short update but I am working on the rest! Hoping to post the full story by Valentine’s and I might also post an AO3 link at some point if anyone would like that I Part One I Part Two I Also on AO3!
***
Chrissy and Eddie had been taking bets about what type of business was opening up across the way. Eddie’s guesses had run the gamut from hipster coffee shop to hipster hairdresser to hipster high-end taxidermy while Chrissy had more or less stuck with her original guess of a speakeasy style bar. Eddie was starting to close up shop for the day when some guy in an honest-to-god sweater vest and jeans ran over.
“It’s too late to place any orders today. Sorry if you need to apologize to your wife and 2.5 kids and forgot until the last minute.” Eddie had to admit the guy was pretty infuriatingly handsome. If you were in to normie core, that is.
“What? I’m not- okay, uhm. I’m actually here because I just rented the place across the way and I wanted to ask about setting up a recurring weekly arrangement?” Steve asked.
“What?” Eddie yelled over Judas Priest.
“It’s a wonder you can ever hear anything over all this noise.” Steve gestured towards the speaker.
Chrissy had overheard the exchange from the backroom and cut Eddie off before he could start ranting about real music, “Yes, we are interested in setting up a recurring weekly bouquet arrangement for our new neighbors, Eddie.”
Chrissy turned back around to lower the speaker's volume and pulled Eddie and Steve into the shop and onto stools by the workbench Eddie uses for arranging. Eddie glared at her but they’d just lost one of their regular accounts to some online service that was apparently way cheaper than what De Lucas’ could offer.
“Sure. What were you thinking, dude?” Eddie asked Steve.
“Just something nice for our front desk. Not too big and maybe nothing that people are commonly allergic to? But I’ve seen the arrangements you load up for delivery and I trust your eye. I’m not a live flower expert.”
“Of course, big boy.” Eddie noticed Steve flush a little bit at the pet name. Eddie reached behind Steve to grab one of the flyers Chrissy had made for company floral services. He purposely invaded Steve’s space a little more than necessary just to see if he could get the guy to flush a little deeper.
“Uhm, thanks, man. I’ll get out of your hair since it’s late. Sorry.”
“I’ve got time for you now if you want to talk through anything,” Eddie couldn’t resist biting his lip a little bit. Steve was apparently very easy to ruffle and Eddie sure did love antagonizing his hipster neighbor. “Tell me a little bit about your place?”
“Oh, yeah, it’s a tattoo studio? Just me and my friend’s helping run the, like, business part of it.” Steve responded
“You tattoo?”
“Yeah. Really fucking well actually,” Steve pushed back. It seemed like Eddie had hit a nerve.
“Shouldn’t you have like at least one tattoo?” Eddie’s brain to mouth filter had apparently stopped working. He shouldn’t be actively shitting on a potential customer.
“Who says I don’t?” Steve answered with a wink. It was Eddie’s turn to feel a little faint as his imagination took a little too much creative liberty thinking about where Steve’s tattoo might be.
Thankfully, Chrissy took the awkward silence as an opportunity to step in and work with Steve to confirm what level of floral arrangement he was looking for, how often he wanted a new arrangement, and if he wanted pick up or delivery.
“I can stop by and pick them up. Wouldn’t want you to go through the trouble of adding me to your schedule since I’m just across the way. Any chance I could pick one up tomorrow around lunch time? My first client is coming at two.” Steve asked.
“Noon’s great, Steve!” Chrissy reached out to shake Steve’s hand while Eddie was still working on slowing his heart rate back to a reasonable rhythm.
“Amazing, thanks so much guys!” Steve called as he headed out of De Lucas’ and back across the street.
“Woah, Eddie. Truly a masterclass in both flirting and getting new clients. I should have taken notes,” Chrissy said once Steve had made it halfway into the road.
“Hey, fuck you.”
“He speaks!” Chrissy patted Eddie’s head and added, “You’ll have to get better at interacting with him since you’ll be seeing each other once a week now.”
Eddie dramatically sighed and laid his upper body across the workbench, getting little pieces of flower refuse stuck in his hair.
“I’m so screwed.”
You wish, babe,” Chrissy cackled as she grabbed her bag and headed out for the day.
***
Part 4 now available here!
Taglist: @maya-custodios-dionach @eboyawstenn @swimmingbirdrunningrock @sadcanadianwinter @thehumblefigtree @throwbackthrowaway @micheledawn1975
I think I caught everyone! I seriously am so genuinely amazed by the reception!
#my fic#steve x eddie#stranger things#steve harrington#eddie munson#steddie fic#steddie#tattoo parlor / flower shop AU
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Hi Mimi. Can I ask you for advice.
I have a friend who is mad at me because I’m not calling her back 24/7, and because I can’t hang out all the time and have to cancel due to the fact that I work and they sometimes, even if I have plans, call me in.
I couldn’t attend her boyfriend’s surprise birthday dinner, who she’ve only been dating for like 4 months and I’ve only met twice, because they wanted to go out late at night and I was working the day before, during, and the day after. However that particular day I got to finish my shift early because it was raining so my boss told me to just go home. On my way home another friend called me, who I haven’t seen in four month because we live 1h and 45min away from each other. My birthday is in two weeks but she’s going on vacation soon, she asked if we could meet up in the city and have dinner, this is like 4-5pm, because she wanted to celebrate me by buying me dinner. I said okey. I didn’t think I was doing anything wrong. We meet up, have dinner, order some drinks, and I post a video of us. The other friend, not even 5 minutes later, sends me a loooong message about what a bad friend I am without even knowing anything. I didn’t answer her right away and decided to wait until I was home. I got home at like 8:30, and the dinner was around 9-10isch so even if I didn’t go out with my friend I couldn’t go and celebrate her boyfriend because I needed to sleep.
She really went off on me, said a lot of things, and made me feel so shitty for nothing. So I wrote back and told her, we’re not kids, I didn’t do anything wrong, I explained briefly why I went out with my friend, and I also told her it’s my life and nobody can get mad at me for my choices, even if I was free that day it still shouldn’t be a problem because I don’t have an obligation to anybody. I also told her that I think it’s wrong that she decided to message me when she saw I was out, she could have waited and brought it up the next day instead of basically trying to ruin my night. I also texted her “don’t worry about this now, go and have fun, enjoy, let’s talk face 2 face when we get the chance” She then texted me back saying “I am celebrating his birthday all weekend, we can talk another day, I don’t have time to deal with this now”. I wrote back “sure”. My first thought, before I calmed myself down, was “so you have time to ruin my night, and start this whole thing, but you don’t have time to finish it?”.
Am I the asshole? Hahaha this sounds like a reddit post, I wanted to write it there but I don’t want to take a risk of her seeing it. Your account, your stories and you are also my comfort zone. I just feel safe here, which is why I am sorry for the rant and headache you have now. I just don’t like to talk about other people with other people, which is why I’m not asking for advice from my friends. But at the same time I’m desperate because I feel like I have done everything for her but just because I have work and have to prioritize myself I’m suddenly a bad friend for not attending her bfs dinner who I’ve only met twice. I mean it’s not like I missed her wedding day. It’s not like I was talking shit about her or told everyone her secrets for her to call me awful names and paint me as the bad guy. It’s not like the plan hanged on me, and I said no, and everybody stayed home but then I went out anyways. They still went out and had fun, so why should it be a problem if I was there or not.
I just want to add that this friendship is solely about me being there for her, I’m basically her therapist. I’ve never ever had demands on her or how she should treat me. I’m so drama free like this is my only drama in life atm in the past 6 years. I’m so easy going. You know that last year on my birthday she didn’t wish me a happy bday, and last year I asked her 6 times if she wanted to go on a vacation and she said no, but then she posts on snap that she’s going on a “random trip” with a girl she met 6 month ago at a gym who she doesn’t even talk to anymore because she feels that the girl was to clingy. I didn’t say anything because I thought it’s okey I’m not gonna ruin her day, vacation or whatever for something so silly, it’s HER life. I’m always there for her, even if I’m busy I always try to show her that she is not neglected by maybe sending her a song, or meme, or even going as far as telling her that I’m gonna be busy and that she can call me if it’s an emergency otherwise I won’t be so active. I always have her back, she calls me 4 in the morning and I pick up without blinking twice. My parents treat her as a second daughter, I’m always there for her as much as I can, and I just have to add that last month, I didn’t sleep for 36h and had a 10h shift the day after, but I still went out with her because she needed a friend due to having a bad day. I neglected my mental health for her. And our convos are 90% about her, 7% about random stuff, and 3% about me, and I STILL DONT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH IT because idgaf. Im honestly so unbothered I really don’t care, but right now I care because I feel that the text she sent me, and the way she wanted to paint me, and the words she used even though I’ve never ever had anything negative about her coming out of my mouth…I just feel like this is so unfair and I don’t know what to do. Should I end the friendship? Or maybe talk to her and try to make her understand? Im just so lost and this is honestly so sad because we’ve been friend for 12 years if not more. I don’t want it to end over something so silly…
Much love💜
Again I’m sorry for ranting, if you have advice I want to thank you for them. And I also want to thank you before hand for taking the time to read this. I admire u and ur stories!
I just have to add: she’s not a bad person, her good qualities overshadows the bad ones, which is why we’re still friends.
This message was sent a while back and I am sorry for responding only now. Maybe you were able to figure it out on your own or things happened after this. But all I can recommend for you to do is to talk to your friend, if you haven’t already. If I were you, I’d try to communicate and make her see where I am coming from as well and then… there’s nothing much you can do from there. You’ll see how she takes it and whether she’s able to see your side or not. Regardless of everything, she shouldn’t take you for granted and cut you some slack.
Like you said, you don’t want your friendship to end over something silly but maybe it’s not something silly at all. In the end, you don’t want friends who makes you feel guilty and take you for granted all the time. Just the fact your entire friendship seems to be focusing on her rather than on both of you says a lot. You shouldn’t be treated that way and you do deserve someone who equally cares about you as a person :)
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Match MVP
Pairing: Eren Yeager x gn!reader
Summary: Your teammates are mean to you in a video game, so your boyfriend Eren steps in for you.
Tags: fluff, degrading/mean comments (not from Eren), baby as a pet name
“What the hell are you shooting at?” You wince at your teammate’s harsh voice in your headphones.
You just wanted to play some games and relax a bit, but sometimes you forget how mean the random players you get matched with can be. It doesn’t help that today was clearly not your day – you were missing all your shots and had a grand total of 2 kills halfway through the game.
“Do everyone a favour and just delete the game,” another laughed and you feel the anger and shame boil inside your gut. You wish you had something snarky to say back, but in times like this your mind always seems to go blank. What’s wrong with liking a game and wanting to play it even if you’re not that good at it?
You want to disappear (or show them the greatest comeback they’ve ever seen and become Match MVP, but that hardly ever happens).
You begin muting your teammates, unaware that your boyfriend was now behind you, watching.
“Did they say something?” Eren looks at you in concern.
“No,” you try to laugh it off, and the crease between Eren’s eyebrows grows deeper, but he doesn’t push it and settles for standing behind you, arms wrapped around your upper body and head leaning on your shoulders.
A few more rounds go by with you doing more or less the same, and you hope that they don’t notice you’re not playing by their strategy because you’ve muted them. To be honest, you don’t even want to play anymore, but you’re not about to risk your account getting banned for leaving the match early. Eventually, to your horror, they begin to spam the chatbox.
“can u hit a single shot?”
“bruh i said go A”
“how are u this bad lmfao”
You silently pray that Eren isn’t paying attention, but you feel his head turn towards you, breath on your cheeks.
“These bastards…”
“Eren calm down, it’s fine,” you try to say, but the quivering of your voice doesn’t even fool yourself.
Eren tries to calm himself down at your state, wanting to be reliable for you.
“Want me to take over?”
You meekly nod and hand him your headphones.
Before you know it, the game ends in your victory and Eren (aka “you”) being Match MVP.
Eren quickly unmutes your teammates and tells them off, making it halfway through his rant before the game’s load screen ends.
“Aww, I wasn’t done! They can’t talk to you like that!” He pouts. You can’t help but laugh at his expression.
“I know, they shouldn’t talk to anyone like that. But let’s not focus on them anymore, yeah? They’re not worth the energy.” You cup Eren’s face in your hands and stare into his eyes. “Thank you.”
He blushes, heat crawling up his face at your sincerity. “Of course.” He returns your look. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Mm, I’m still a little shaken, but it felt so good that you beat them all,” you smile. “I wish people weren’t so negative and judgmental all the time.”
Eren smiles at you. “If everyone was like my baby the world would be a better place.” He envelopes you in a bear hug. “Let’s get some takeout and relax, yeah?”
You can’t stop the smile that spreads across your face as you melt into his touch. “Yeah, let’s.”
quick lil rant piece bc ppl being mean in games makes me so sad u don’t have to be a master at something to just enjoy it or try it (the game in the fic is valorant btw bc i’m projecting : D)
#eren yeager x reader#eren yeager fluff#eren fluff#eren x reader#eren jeager x reader#eren jeager fluff#attack on titan fluff#attack on titan x reader#aot fluff#aot x reader
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Movie Night
Summary: Danny, Sam, and Tucker have a movie night at Sam's house on a rare night off from Danny being grounded.
...
It takes a while, but things do start to mellow out after another couple weeks. Danny eventually catches up on homework, and now he’s back to only sort-of failing instead of actually failing. His parents let up on the grounding a little bit, and he’s allowed to spend time at Sam’s house and Tucker’s house sometimes, though nowhere else yet. He settles into a ghost fighting routine with Jazz and they both work up a rhythm that works well. (Danny does most of the physical fighting and Jazz does a lot of background strategizing and overlooking of the fight that makes things run way smoother.)
Eventually, he does seem to improve his reputation at least back to where it was pre-Freakshow. Especially when Jazz manages to make it known he was part of the reason Freakshow was captured and all of the valuables returned.
Unfortunately, the one person it doesn’t seem to have any effect on is Sam, which is really inconvenient given that she’s kind of the point of all this. Danny can’t blame her, though. He hasn’t had a chance to talk to her directly as Phantom, and he doesn’t want to just ambush her at school one day, that would be the opposite of helpful. So Sam’s only one-to-one interaction with him continues to be “that time he tried to kill me by dropping me several stories to the ground.” Honestly, her being suspicious is probably the logical choice.
He tries hard not to be thinking about that when he’s with her as Danny Fenton, though. Compartmentalizing can actually be very helpful. Prevents him from screaming in frustration every time she goes off on a rant about how everyone’s being fooled by that Invis-o-bill idiot again. (Could she at least not use that stupid name?)
And this week isn’t going to have anything to do with Phantom at all, because the three of them are going to hang out in Sam’s basement with a lineup of scary movies and enough popcorn to put them into a food coma. (Sam’s three favorite horror movie icons are going to be fighting each other in an upcoming movie, so they’re rewatching all of the old ones first at Sam’s insistence.)
Danny got special permission to go from his parents on account of his improved grades and good behavior, meaning things almost feel normal as he walks up to Sam’s house and knocks on the door.
Sam pulls it open a second later, a bright grin already on her face. “Danny, finally! Come on!” She grabs his wrist and yanks him into the house before Danny can say anything, and pulls him past her parents without letting him get out so much as a hello.
Tucker’s already waiting in the basement when they get down there, and gives Danny a wave in a break from shaking a truly ridiculous amount of salt onto his giant tub of popcorn.
“Yours is on the left,” he says, nodding at one of the three tubs. “Sam’s has the vegan butter.”
“Thanks Tuck,” he says, picking it up and heading over to his usual movie chair as Sam grabs her own popcorn tub and does the same.
“This is going to be the greatest movie ever,” Sam says, a grin lighting up her face as she turns the giant movie screen on. “Plus I already bought us tickets, I cannot wait to see it on Friday.”
“I thought ticket sales didn’t open until Monday,” Tucker says as he finally sits down, apparently done taking years off his life with the amount of salt he’s using.
“There’s still a couple advantages to being filthy rich,” Sam says. “We have three reserved seats right in the middle of the theatre. I decided to cheat just this once.”
Danny snorts. “Figures you’d break for horror movies.”
“Hey, I’m not breaking anything. This is a one-time thing,” Sam says very seriously.
“Sure,” Danny says, giving her a teasing smile.
“I mean it!”
“Uh-huh.”
“I think Danny’s just telling you to get off your high horse,” Tucker says with a smile of his own. “So much for hating being rich, huh?”
“Guys.”
“We’re just teasing, Sam,” Danny says, nudging her in the side. “You know we’re gonna love having those seats too.”
Sam gives him a not-very-serious-glare, and then starts grinning again as she turns back to start the first movie.
“Honestly, I wouldn’t care either way,” she says. “I don’t think anything could ruin this week for me.”
Danny smiles at her for a second, enjoying the image of her being so happy. He settles back into his own chair and tosses a first handful of popcorn into his mouth. Horror movies may not actually scare him much anymore, but Sam loves them enough that it’s incredibly easy to care, if only just for her sake.
Tucker still hides his head between his hands at a couple points, but he sticks it out through the whole movie, which is impressive enough for him.
“God,” Sam says, leaning back with a grin after the credits finally roll. “It’s still good. Isn’t it still good Danny?”
“It’s still good,” Danny agrees with a fond smile.
“Speak for yourself,” Tucker mutters, from his clenched up position in his own chair.
“Well I hope you’re ready for more tomorrow night!” Sam says with a grin at him.
Tucker gives her a look. “You’re both so lucky that you’re my only friends.”
“Aww, he loves us,” Danny says.
“He does,” Sam says, putting a hand to her chest as if moved. “Isn’t it so sweet, Danny?”
“It is, Sam, it really is.”
“I hate you both.”
“Inclined not to believe you,” Danny says with a grin.
Tucker rolls his eyes and sits up. “Please, I would totally be sitting out on this if it wasn’t the only thing outside of school your parents were letting you do with us.”
“Somehow, still inclined not to believe you.”
Tucker crosses his arms with an annoyed huff, meaning Danny is totally right.
“Tell you what, you can bring a cooldown movie tomorrow night,” Sam says. “That way we can all stay longer and you don’t have to go home terrified.”
“Except I still do tonight,” Tucker says.
“Not much I can do about that, you didn’t bring another movie.”
“I’ll walk home with you, Tuck,” Danny says, standing.
Tucker gives him a curious look. “Do you have time to do that and still make curfew? I thought you’re parents were being really strict about that.”
“I have my ways,” Danny says. “See you at school tomorrow, Sam.”
“See ya!” Sam calls. “Don’t let my parents yell at you on the way out!”
“That’s easier said than done,” Danny mutters, but they both head up the steps anyway.
They do actually make it out without any yelling, though they don’t manage to avoid a couple glares.
Tucker turns to him as they start the walk towards his house. “I am glad your parents are letting up on you a bit, though,” he says. “Especially considering you being gone wasn’t actually your fault.”
Danny nods, though he doesn’t really want to talk about it. “Yeah, I don’t think they can really stay mad for too long. I think it’s also pretty clear to them that I learned my lesson, which helps.”
“Your lesson about not getting kidnapped?” Tucker asks, raising an eyebrow.
“Still not gonna tell them, but thanks, Tucker.”
“Still don’t understand why, but alright. I won’t push.”
“Thank you,” Danny says, and he means it. “I do think the whole experience has thoroughly ruined circuses for me, though.”
“You and Sam both,” Tucker says. “Though I think maybe part of that was Invis-o-bill’s fault.”
Danny winces and doesn’t say anything.
“Hey, you okay?” Tucker asks, clearly noticing.
“Fine,” Danny lies. “Look, we’re here.”
He gestures at Tucker’s house just a couple houses down.
Tucker keeps looking at him as they walk.
“I’m not gonna push,” he says again as they reach his house, turning to face Danny. “Just know that offer to tell me anything is still open.”
Danny looks at him, chewing on his lip. “Hey,” he says quietly. “You know I’d never want to hurt you guys, right?”
Tucker blinks. “Uh, yeah, duh. Was that in question?”
Danny huffs a laugh. “No.”
Tucker looks at him another second. “Danny,” he says. “You know what happened wasn’t your fault, right? I mean, how would that even work?”
And it’s funny, because he does know that, mostly. Sure, the issue with Sam is tangled up in guilt and worry and other complicated feelings, but when it comes to actually being gone those weeks, he does know it’s not his fault. He means it when he says that to Jazz.
But now, looking at Tucker, that stupid long-familiar voice creeps up in the back of his head: He wouldn’t be saying that if he knew.
Danny shakes his head, mostly to tell his brain to knock it off.
“I know,” he says to Tucker. “I just… I hate that you guys were so scared for me. I don’t want to worry you.”
“Dude,” Tucker says. “You’re our best friend, that’s our job when you get hurt.”
“It’s not like that’s new,” Danny points out. “Dash shoves me into lockers all the time.”
“Dash doesn’t kidnap you and hold you hostage for several weeks,” Tucker says. “Little bit of a difference there. And for the record, I get worried when Dash messes with you too.”
Danny shakes his head. “It’s really not a big deal,” he mutters. “I’m fine.”
“Danny,” Tucker says. “Please stop lying to me.”
Danny looks down. “No.”
They both stand there in silence for a couple seconds.
“I have to go,” Danny says finally. “Curfew. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Tucker agrees quietly.
Danny waits until Tucker goes back inside to slip down a side alleyway, transform, and fly home.
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Hiiiii! What are your least favorite ships?
hi angel baby :) not sure if you mean of all time but gonna assume you mean gg since that’s literally what my account has become (slutting out for jess).
THE WORST OF THE WORST GG SHIPS.
+ 1. rogan. this is definitely a controversial take, which is what i’ve done for just about my whole life so i’m ready! logan and rory are probably the best and worst relationship in the show. it doesn’t make any fucking sense, i know. they seemed the healthiest at times but in general i’ve never been able to get behind them. even when wee 13 year old me watched it for the first time. logan brings out the worst in rory. he doesn’t challenge her, he makes her feel like she needs to settle, and encourages her departure from yale. he just never understood her in my eyes. he never got the driven girl or respected her. they were turning into what rory never wanted to be. and oh yeah, logan’s a dick.
+ 2. paris/francie. who the fuck wrote that fan fiction? this is why i fear AO3. okay but the tension was there, the competitiveness was there. i digress, PARISANDFRANCIE4LIFE.
+ 3. balcony buddies. JUST BECAUSE YOU PROCREATE WITH SOMEONE DOES NOT MEAN YOU NEED TO BE WITH THEM. lorelai’s age regressed ass needed to stop going back to her first fuck. and that’s the truth. side note: christopher only playing daddy when he wanted to go back to lorelai??? how did they never comprehend that???
+ 4. rory/dean. do rory and dean not have a ship name? why could i not think of anything? anyways, the only reason i didn’t rant about my amish haircuted boy first is because as BAD as it was, it was kind of sweet in the beginning. as the number one dean hater, i hate saying this. dean was the WORST. and anyone who supports a man who cheats on his wife and gets mad at her, can unkindly leave my class. the door is open bitch! butttt before the donna reed, before the **madness**, they were kind of sweet. for like maybe two episodes. he was a cute first crush that brought out something other than academics for her. but if they wouldn’t have gotten back together the first time (or the second time) i might genuinely enjoy their innocent first relationship.
+ 5. max/lorelai. um. the man proposed mid argument a couple months into their relationship. not sure what else to say except he and lorelai just didn’t fit. you knew they weren’t going to last. there wasn’t one scene they had where i was sure of it my first time watching. maybe they could’ve much later on if lorelai had matured (which obviously she didn’t, thanks ASP).
~ honorable mentions! ~
+ jess & shane - i doubt she even knew his last name. there’s literally nothing to say except why?
+ paris & prof. fleming - yuck.
+ luke & nicole - WHY. THE. FUCK.
+ luke & rachel - the lack of chemistry is astounding. jess had more chemistry with that apple in his magic trick. rachel and lorelai however? ;)
+ dean & jess - STOP READING LARRY FANFICS AND GO TO BED!
#this is MY opinion#gilmore girls#gilmore girls blurb#gilmore girls asks#teddypickerry#jess mariano#rory gilmore#lorelai gilmore#logan huntzberger hate club#dean forester hate club#welcome to the class#gilmore girls rants#girlblogging
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Do you feel comfortable telling us what happened at your parents' house?
Sure! But be prepared for a long ramble.
My stepmom is a really conservative transphobic narcissist.
My housing plan this year is a tiny room freshman dorm and had a bed, closet and desk. I share it with my bestfriend, Kayla.
My housing plan NEXT year has been decided, I am going to move into a 4 room apartment style dorm, where we all have our own rooms, 2 people each share a bathroom, and we even have a living/kitchen area. I’m very excited!!!
I broke the news to my parents, and said that Kayla and I would share a bathroom on one half of the dorm, and our friends Micheal and Brayden would share the other side.
She expressed concern over two “girls” being with two “guys” and I told her it would be fine because both Brayden and Micheal are gay men, and are engaged to eachother too. To which when she heard this she was “oh okay.”
But then she brought up the possibility of the housing office not allowing us to be co-ed, girls and boys sharing a apartment style dorm together and I had Micheal’s permission to tell my mother that he was a transman, meaning he is afab, to ease her nerves. I explained that the housing office obviously did not care as long as we all knew eachother and agreed on it.
She then proceeded to rant on how gender is so confusing, and for 2 days straight refused to use Micheal’s name, instead referring to him as “the girl who wants to be a boy.”
I told her that it’s not complicated at all, and she asked me “So are they gay or straight?” And I told them they are gay men, which I had already told you prior. She then asked me “well has the wannabe boy had any surgeries?” And that’s when I started to genuinely get pissed off.
I said “First, that’s an inappropriate question to ask. What would you do if a random person kept inquiring on your genitals? It’d be an issue wouldn’t it?” To which she then interrupted me, saying “Oh so they don’t. Yeah I thought so. So they are straight until they get surgery.”
I told her that we are in COLLEGE and that’s a lot of money, time and healing to take into account and Micheal is infact on hormones and looks his gender, acts his gender, sounds like his gender, and so on. I then decided to de-stress, and promptly left the whole house to go on a walk which apparently to her, was very inconsiderate and rude.
On top of all that, she consistently helicopters over me, anytime I touch my phone she’s “what are you doing.” “Who are you texting.” “What are you texting them.” “Why are you doing that on your phone.”
One time I went to my room for a singular hour to go through some of the things I packed and got at the thrift store, just deciding what to leave home and take with me you know, nothing big. I walked out once dinner was done, and she loves to use a bitchy voice and say “look who came out of their room.” “Look who’s alive and decided to join us.” And when I try to say I was literally gone for a fucking hour she accuses me of being too “antisocial.”
Also, we have 5 dogs at our house. Almost all are abused. They live in kennels constantly unless they are ushered outside to potty. There is Jax, poor old man is 14 and has prostate cancer. He has severe arthritis as well and struggles to walk. There is Shepherd, he has one big tumor on his spine and about 5 itty bitty ones around it too- but all non-cancerous. Past his hip bones he is hairless due to skin irritation and scratching/biting. Then there is Mac, the golden lovely child of the house who is the only one not in a kennel ever, roams the house, only one allowed on furniture and more. There is Charlotte, a hurricane Harvey rescue who is a gorgeous and pretty cocker spaniel/poodle. She’s pure black for the exception of white paws and a white heart on her chest. She’s super sweet but gets screamed at everyday for whining in the kennel but good news!! My friend Kayla is in the process of adopting her to help get her out of the house and into a better home. Then there is Pickles, my poor baby that my stepmom hates the most. Just yesterday she was scolded for curling up next to me which was apparently “possessive behavior” so she took her shoe off and beat her in in face 4 times until she was whining and barking- and then got yelled at for getting defensive and snapping once at her.
It’s horrible.
Did I mention all of this is in the span of 24 hours?
More that happened, my stepmom asking me to constantly check the mail to see if my VA check has come in. It comes the first week of each month- sure, but calm down I don’t need to check 3 times a day. Also she only cares so much because my stepmom is blind, is jealous everyone else is putting an effort into their lives and is desperate for some ounce of control and wants us to give her money for her smoking addiction.
Also my check didn’t come in LOL but that’s alright, my awesome sister said she’ll swing but next weekend and snatch it up for me.
It’s just exhausting. Thats just ONE day there- I can’t imagine what summer is going to be like. My sister gave me the idea to get a job like my stepmom wants, but get it here in my college town so I don’t have to be home. Which is genius!! Pickles stays with me, safe and not getting abused. (She’s so scared of everything when she’s home, and it’s so hard to try to help her heal from ptsd when it’s recurring- ik if I do this it will be best for her.) AND I don’t have to be there which fucks with my own mental health.
Also, stepmom isn’t trying to get my money. That’s nice too.
Sorry guys this is more so a vent now, but hey if you read this far than thanks for listening 😭
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Hi there! I have never gotten around to make a gif tutorial because there are plenty of good ones out there and I suck at explaining things. Back when I basically use my side blog (@marvelsaos) as my main, I didn’t get that many questions regarding gif making, I presume because many people who followed me there weren’t gif makers. But this year, I finally come back to my real main blog and started posting more gifs over here. This blog is where I mostly follow gif makers and is mostly followed by gif makers. I have gotten a lot more ask on how to achieve certain things in my gifs, most notably my recent Winnie The Pooh set. And this is why I decided to make this post. This is by no means a tutorial, just a post sharing my giffing journey and the things I do in gif making that might be of your interest.
‼️Tons of rambling below. Text, image & gif heavy. Proceed with caution‼️
Table of Contents
Introduction
The Basics
Everything about making a simple gif from start to finish
How to optimize your giffing process
The more advanced stuff?
“Recolouring” & rotoscoping in After Effects
Tutorials mentioned in this post
Acknowledgement
Feel free to jump to any section you find useful. Most of the ramblings are in the introduction.
1. Introduction
i. How I started
You thought that was the intro?! I’m the kind of person who someone would know for a decade without hearing me say a word, and when I finally spoke (usually about stuff that I’m passionate about) I just go on and on and on and it shocks people to no end. I’ve been on tumblr 10 years now as some of you might know I’m doing my 10 year celebration, but I didn’t start giffing until about 7 years ago. And I just realised I have never properly introduced myself. Hi! My name’s Winnie and my username across all social media is Ms_Stanatic. Before I started giffing, my main fangirling platform was IG, and boy I’ve got sooooo many accounts I don’t even remember all of them, the bigger ones were mofy, ouat & aos related, and these days I’m giffing all of my old favs for old time sakes. If you happened to know me back then, drop by and say hi. It probably felt like I drop off the face of the earth when I quit IG. The show that got me started on giffing was, as some of you might know, Agents of SHIELD. @marvelsaos was my “main” blog for the first 6+ years of my giffing journey. Now thinking back it was because I finally got my first laptop when I got into uni and didn’t have to make edits on my android phones anymore. But at the time, all I wanted to do was to capture Melinda May’s eye rolls and actions and static images just weren’t doing it for me anymore. And that’s how I embarked on the journey of gif making.
ii. Tools/ Softwares I used
I had a Macbook air back then, and finding a cracked photoshop for mac was kinda hard, so I had to settle with GIMP. Without the GAP plugin may I add because I do not know how to install it till this day, so it was just pure nightmare. Making gif in the beginning was the most tedious thing I ever did, I’ll explain a bit more later on. The giffing community felt very different back then. I don’t know if it’s because I wasn’t aware or because I wasn’t in it. I felt like there wasn’t as many giffing tutorials on this site, and all I kept seeing was people sharing their psds. It might have been useful if I had photoshop but I didn’t. So the idea was that you can just open up the psd files and drag the adjustment layers onto the image stacks that compose of your gif, and the adjustment layers would affect all the layers beneath it. Not with GIMP though. In GIMP, the adjustment layer(s) only affect the single layer right underneath it. You heard me right. At that time the gif size limit on tumblr was 2mb, a gif I made is usually 20-30 frames/ layers. So I had to duplicate the adjustment layers 20-30 times, them move them right above each image layer. And if I don’t like how it looks, I had to do it all over again. This is slowly turning into a rant but seriously thinking about it gives me headaches. Also, did I mention I didn’t even read up on tutorials and stuff, I basically just googled everything I needed, how to screencap, import it into GIMP, crop & resize, how to use curve, then lastly how to export. No sharpening, no nothing. I didn’t even learn about recolouring like less than 2 years ago (my AoS peeps know which post I’m talking about 😉). This went on for about a year or two, then uni got busy and my life basically went downhill. Somehow, AoS pulled me out of that deep dark hole and get me back on my feet again also because I finally graduated but I’d like to think it’s my love for tv that saved me. I got a bit more time on my hand, I decided to go back to giffing and this time I was determined to get GAP installed on GIMP and have it working. But alas I have failed once again. It was around that time I found out photoshop’s older versions like cs5 was free to download, so I got that instead and finally begin giffing with photoshop.
Moral of the story: Try your best to get photoshop for giffing. It’ll save you so much headache.
And my story didn’t end there. While I was using cs5, I think many people have switch to photoshop cc which has the timeline function for things like smart sharpen (which was a major topic back then) and keyframes (which is what I heard people talking all about these days). Even without timeline, photoshop is definitely a step up from GIMP personally and I managed with a workaround on the smart sharpen function thanks to Julie (@doramilaje). Side note, all the gif makers (beginners & experienced alike) I’ve talked to are all such amazing people. They put so much energy into this craft and are more than happy to talk to you about it when asked. So don’t be afraid, just ask nicely. And maybe go off anon, you might make a friend or two.
2019-20 were probably my most prolific giffing years, I giffed non stop every single day as if it was my full time job. For me, it was something small and easy to complete and it kept my days going. And eventually my Macbook Air that I’ve been using for 5 years was starting to give up on me. And when I upgraded the OS system to Catalina, it no longer supports cs5 and I was devastated. I eventually got my hands on photoshop cc 2020, and in some ways I re-learnt how to make gifs again (like for the third time?).
I knew it was about time to get a new laptop. And now that I know I’m gonna use it for some heavy duty, and I didn’t want to get another macbook because I’m just not that crazy about it and at that time I wanted to use avisynth (more on that later) which was only available on windows (I didn’t know how to install vapoursynth on my macbook ok?). Eventually I got a gaming laptop with a 10th gen i-7 processor and a Wacom Intuos Pro using my sibling’s student discount. I got the Wacom tablet trying to get into digital drawing, but eventually it came in super handy with just day to day editing and especially recolouring.
Moral of the story: Start with whatever you’ve got, then upgrade your equipment when you’re serious about it.
iii. What I’m doing now?
This year has been kinda different for me. In the past, it has always felt like I’m on my own sitting in front of my laptop churning out gifs 24/7. This year, I’ve joined a couple other blogs and gif maker/ ps user networks, learnt a whole lot of new things and diversified my giffing content (I have been giffing AoS 99.9% of the time non stop previously I kid you not). And I’ll be back in school for my part time masters a month or two later, so who knows how often I can gif. I don’t ever wanna stop giffing but I know one day I will, and before that day comes I just wanna share some of my memories with you guys on this hell site. So, basically all that led to this post.
2. The Basics
I’m gonna assume you have a bit of knowledge about gif making. If you’re a complete newbie, I’ve tried my best to link some tutorials to help you understand or get started. And don’t get intimidated by the length of this post. Even though a lot goes into gif making, once you get everything sorted and find your routine, it’ll become second nature. The following is simply my workflow of gif making. It is by no means the right/ better way of gif making. Everyone does things a bit or drastically differently, I’m just here to share my process in hopes that someone might learnt something new or find something interesting. If I got something wrong, feel free to inbox/ message me and address it politely, since I didn’t exactly started out giffing with clear directions, I do get some of the fundaments wrong. And I am no expert in photoshop or any editing software, it’s more of a learning as I go sort of thing. So just take everything with a grain of salt. With all the disclaimers out of the way, here come the things you’re probably here for.
i. Video source
There’s one simple rule, go with the most HQ one, I’m talking 1080p or 4k and make sure it’s the biggest in file size because not all 1080p are created equally. Here’s a post by Taylor (@kylos) explaining all of that and where to download as well. For the most part I just use 1080p because I personally can’t tell the difference but I’m sacrificing a lot of time for a 4k video to load/ process. It’s only instances like these I would use a 4k source.
(gif taken from my set here)
Downloads are gonna take up space but you probably want to keep them if you might gif the show/ movie in the future again since you already spend all that time downloading, so you might need to invest in some hard drives for this. I used to use my uni’s unlimited gdrive plan which was available even after I graduated, but after Google cancelled it I was in huge trouble. I save pretty much all my hd downloads and all my psds & gifs. I’ve recently got a WD Elements 12TB just so I can transfer all 6+TB data on my gdrive to there with space left for the next couple of years.
ii. Screencapping vs Video clipping
So there are a couple of ways to go about this that I’m aware of.
screencapping with mpv (tutorial by Taylor) or other softwares
video clipping with handbrake (here’s an in depth tutorial on gif making including clipping with handbrake by Nums @cillianmurphy), vlc, km player, etc.
video clipping + cropping + resizing with Vapoursynth (download here | tutorial by Em @realstraykids)
I have tried all of the above. I started with screencapping till around late 2020, when I found out about avisynth (now replaced by vapoursynth) and finally got my hands on a pc where I can download it. I was using screencaps for a really long time because older versions of ps don’t have timeline, I would end up having to convert the video back to frames anyways so why don’t I just import screencaps as is. I think it’s the same logic for me now, because I start all of my editing in timeline, so it’s just quicker to import video clips for me (especially when comparing screencapping with mpv vs video clipping with handbrake). From late 2020 till now, I mostly use avisynth/ vapoursynth. There should be less detail lost when resizing using vapoursynth compared to ps. Personally, I think ps does a pretty good job and I wouldn’t say vapoursynth is a must, it just happens to be a video clipping and resizing two in one tool for me. Vapoursynth has additional denoise & sharpening tools, but I just couldn’t quite get the setting right to incorporate them into my giffing routine, so I stick with ps for those purposes.
Here’s a comparison for you if you’re thinking about using it. On the left is how I used to gif without vapoursynth. I did the same thing for both gifs except for sharpening, because the clips from vapoursynth just look slightly sharpened to me so I compensated with more sharpening on the left. Honestly, now looking at it side by side I actually like the one without vapoursynth more 😂 I’ll let you decide for yourself. Also, when I’m doing a huge compilation set where there are a lot of gifs and they are basically tiny and I don’t really have the dimensions in mind yet, I’ll just go with video clipping. It’s faster and I can resize it later.
iii. Resizing
There might be reasons why you don’t want to use the W x H x Resolution crop for your gif, because in the image size panel you can actually choose how you want your resampling setting. Normally I just go with Preserve Details 2.0, and set reduce Noise to 100%.
iv. Sharpening
Once I load my clips into ps, the first thing I do is add smart sharpen to them. For the longest time I only sharpen once. Here’s a sharpening tutorial by Ava (@anya-chalotra). I think those settings are mostly what people use and if you’re new to this you should probably stick with that. But I’ll let you on a secret (not a secret anymore now that’s in the open), I don’t do the whole over sharpen then blur it out thing, I just sharpen to the amount I like. This is coming from someone who spent the first 2? years giffing without sharpening, and when I do realize people sharpen I didn’t even look/ properly follow a tutorial on how to do it. I just knew smart sharpen is a thing. So, I’m sure there’s good reasons why you should sharpen to 500% then add gaussian blur and you probably should do that too. Prior to using vapoursynth, my settings were like radius 0.3, amount 100%-200%. With vapoursynth, I find it slightly sharpens my clips so I go with radius 0.3, amount 50% like 90% of the time.
Then there’s the second sharpen thing if you noticed in my banner gif which I learnt from Sid’s (@sidonidoneeey) tutorial recently. I think it adds more contrast & definition to the objects in the gif.
Here’s a comparison for you to decide for yourself. I tried the max sharpening then add gaussian blur method in the second gif, and I’m still not quite convinced.
v. Colouring
This I would say is pretty much the essence of a gif maker’s style. Again, everybody does it differently, different gif makers swear by different adjustment layers.
Here are some tutorials for getting rid those difficult colour cast:
Kate’s (@dewandawise) channel mixer tutorial
Airam’s (@magnusedom) colouring tutorial
The best/ most experienced gif makers I know all swear by channel mixer so you should definitely check out Kate’s tutorial.
Personally, my routine adjustment layers are like the ones in the banner gif. Levels → (+/- Curves) → Colour Balance and/or Selective Colour and/or Hue/Saturation → (+/-Vibrance). Then repeat any of those if necessary.
Levels:
Personally, I always start my colouring with levels. When I first started giffing, all I heard about is curves and I spent a lot of time fussing around with it not knowing what it actually does. Until I found out about levels. It is way easier to understand than curves and very suitable for beginners in my opinion.
You basically drag the right most arrow to meet the right side of the histogram. What you’re doing is telling ps what value in the gif you want to be the brightest (aka white), and everything beyond that value is going to be white as a result. You do the same thing on the left, and in this case defining the darkest/ black in your gif. I find this to be the simplest way to brighten and add contrast to gifs. The results as you can see is night and day.
Curves:
Curves can basically do what levels do but more. See those two arrows under the histogram in curves (right), they basically do the same thing as what I just showed you in levels (left). And then obviously you can manipulate the curve to get your gif how you want, but honestly I still don’t fully understand what curves is so I’m not gonna try and explain that to you. What I can do is show you some other neat tricks you can do with curves.
You can click on the hand with the pointing finger icon, click and drag up to brighten or down to darken on any area in the gif you’d like to edit.
Another thing I like to do is click on the white (last) or grey (second) eyedropper, then click on an area where you think should be white or grey to get rid of any unwanted colour cast. This video tutorial goes more in depth and is more of a proper way of doing it, but I just don’t bother with doing all of that normally.
So here you can see I click on the grey eyedropper, than I clicked somewhere in the background I think should be grey, ideally further away from that blue light beam behind her because everything near that is just gonna be more bluish. And you can see immediately the ground has less of a cyan tint and there’s more red in her skin. Sometimes, you have to try a couple of different places to get the best results. Sometimes, it just won’t work at all.
You can also Alt+click on the auto button, and a panel shows up. Click on them and see if any of those works for you. But normally I don’t use this because I have already enhanced the brightness and contrast with levels.
Once I get my overall values how I like it, I go into colour correcting. Usually nothing drastic, just trying to get rid of any colour tint and get the gif to look more neutral in colour. My go to are colour balance, selective colour and hue/saturation.
Colour balance:
This is usually my go to to adjust the overall tone of the gif, and the panel gives a good visual of rgb vs cmy.
Selective colour:
This is when I only want to adjust the tone of a particular colour without affecting the rest of the gif. I usually go to red the most to adjust characters’ skin tones. Also, people often ask if they should use relative or absolute mode. I would say for simple adjustment I would go with relative because it’s more subtle, but for major colour change and I want it to really show I’ll go with absolute.
Hue/Saturation:
This I usually go in and click on the hand button then click on wherever in your gif you want to change the colour. Slide the hue or saturation slider around till you’re satisfied.
If you want to, say, change your background to a single colour, check the box colourized. And slide the hue slider to your desire colour. Then paint black over the object in the layer mask to preserve it’s original colours.
Also, that slider you see right there. The center light grey region is where the colours would be affected by the changes you made. And the two darker grey regions flanking it are sort of a buffer so the colour transition isn’t as stark if it makes sense. You can basically slide those sliders closer to each other so the adjustment affects a smaller targeted range of colours. You can always crank the saturation to the max to see what part of the gif you’re changing the colours of.
Photo Filter:
This is a cool one that I learnt about recently. You can basically apply a warming/ cooling filter to quickly change the tone of the gif. Sometimes it helps with getting rid of that last bit of an unwanted colour filter.
vi. Blend modes
Do you know that you can change the blend modes of your adjustment layers to get a different result? I don’t think a lot of people do this, I don’t either most of the time. But there are a couple ones that you might find helpful.
Screen: This will brighten up the gif a lot, could be helpful with really dark scenes.
Colour: When I want my adjustment layer to only affect the colours but not the brightness of the gif.
Luminosity: When I don’t want my adjustment layer to affect the colours.
Here’s a video explaining all the blend modes in photoshop.
vii. Denoise & Clean
It was from the same post that I learnt about avisynth that I found out about Topaz Labs, particularly their denoise plugin & clean plugin. I won’t go in depth into that because I’ve tried it a couple of times and couldn’t get the settings that work for me and it is very time consuming. But if it is something you want to try, here’s a post of the user sharing her topaz settings. What I actually want to talk about is Camera Raw in ps.
I normally add my denoise filter after I coloured the gif, because all the brightening and saturating the gif with colours add more noise to the original clip itself. But if a scene is particularly grainy to begin with, I’ll add a denoise filter right after sharpening, add my adjustment layers, then another denoise filter if necessary. Also, if you want to keep more details in the certain areas like the hair of the characters, just take a soft round brush and paint black in the smart filter layer mask.
Go to Filter → Camera Raw Filter. The denoise function is under the tab Detail. I usually only move the noise reduction and colour noise reduction slider, and keep the detail at 50.
There’s so much more you can do with camera raw. Here’s a tutorial by @michietuts on how to colour your gifs with camera raw. I actually completely forgot about it until I went digging for tutorials for this post. I think the reason why I never got into using camera raw to colour gifs is simply because there’s too many sliders and it’ll take a long time to figure out what works, so I just stick with what worked for me.
viii. Convert to frames & export
After I add all my adjustment layers and denoise filters, I normally convert it back to frames for further editing because I find it takes so long for the video to play in timeline mode. It’s just easier for me to gauge what I want to do with the gif in frame mode, such as whether more adjustment is needed, or how I want to crop my gif. I know a lot of people would just edit everything in timeline mode, and convert back to frames as a last step to change the delay to 0.05s before exporting. You can do it however you want. It’s just spending so much time with cs5, I’ve grown accustomed to editing in frames mode.
Here is my export settings:
For most people, it’s the choice between selective vs adaptive and diffusion vs pattern. Personally I prefer how adaptive pattern looks and I rarely change it across different gifs because I have my export action automated. There’s more explanation and comparison in Ava’s tutorial here.
ix. Subtitles
The majority of gifs I make are what I call “scene edits”. Not that I’m lazy or anything and don’t want to be bothered with making fancier gifs, it’s just what I like to do. Especially when giffing a show I haven’t giffed before I always start with making plenty of scenes, to the point where I can recall just about any scenes from that show when I want to make a fancier gif set. So I’m just gonna share me text settings for the subtitle, show you how I center the text box to the bottom and how to duplicate it to the rest of your files.
Press T for the text tool, and type in whatever subtitle you need. Here are my subtitle settings:
Alt+A to select the whole canvas then press V for the move tool. Then select align horizontal centers and align bottom edges.
Now that you have your text centered at the bottom, you might want to style it. I usually go for a stroke outside the text, some people op for drop shadow or both. Right click your text layer and select Blending Options... Check the Stroke box, change the size to 3px, position to outside and colour to black.
To duplicate text box to the same exact position in another gif, right click your text layer and choose Duplicate Layer... Then choose whichever document you want to duplicate to and press ok.
And of course I have my text duplication automated, so the text would show up in all my gifs in a matter of seconds.
x. Recap
3. How to optimize your giffing process
i. Actions
This one single function in ps is gonna save you sooooo much time & energy my friends. If you’re a chronic giffer like me, you probably spend all your time starring into your computer and just clicking away like a manic, especially those times when new episodes drop and everyone is trying to get their gifs out there as quick as possible. Let me tell you, life before I found out about actions was miserable. Back then, my laptop was even slower, so maybe after I did one thing I had to wait for it to load, then repeat the same process to the rest of the gifs in the set, which is normally 10 in total. I had to grab my laptop with me during meals because I basically couldn’t walk away from it. Actions was a lifesaver, especially for things you’d routinely do when making gifs like sharpening, resizing, denoising, convert to frames, export, etc. You basically use actions to record yourself doing it once, and you can just hit play every time you want ps to do it again. And to take it a step further, you can automate ps to play that action on all the opened files. You then record that automation into an action, then voila you can sharpen/resize/export all your gifs in one click. Now, I can click automate convert to frames, go out and eat dinner and come back to it.
Now here are my actions. I know the naming doesn’t make much sense to you, but basically I have actions to automate sharpening, denoising, converting to frames, setting frame delays, exporting and saving. And yes, I do regularly hit that automate save button so I don’t lose everything when my ps crashes. Then there’s actions for formatting subtitles, duplicating layers, pasting frames after or over frames. I think this covers about everything I use on a daily basis.
Here’s how you record an action and automate said action. (Left gif) First you click on the folder icon to create new set, name it and click ok. Click the + icon to add new action, name it and press record. Then you do whatever you want to record, and when you’re done click to stop button to stop recording. (Right gif) To create an automation of the new action, click the + icon to add new action, name it and press record. (Third gif) Then go to File → Automate → Batch. Choose the set the action you want to automate is in, then choose the action. Click ok then stop recording. Now you have an action to automate the previous action you made.
(gif below) The box on the left of your action is the dialog on/off button. Basically if you check it those dialog boxes will pop up every time after you played the action, which is good if you want to customize every time but not so much when your goal is to click one button and let it run across all gif without interruption. I check most of them off except for the denoise filter which I do want to customize for each gif.
To get the action panel to look like the one I showed in the first picture, click on the little button on the top right corner of the actions panel and choose button mode. And you’ll get to play an action by simply clicking on it.
ii. History
There are a couple of things I do in this panel. Have you ever make an adjustment, undo, make a new adjustment, and now no matter how many times you hit revert you just can’t get back that first adjustment you made? There’s a simple fix in the history settings. Click on the little button on the top right corner of the history panel and choose History Options, then check the box “Allow Non-Linear History” and click ok.
I often like to use the history to go back to previous adjustment, because I can see clearly what has been done (sometimes I click on the wrong button without knowing) and I can go further back without keep hitting Crl+Z. You can also click on the camera icon in the bottom right to take a snapshot of the current process/ step of the gif, so in case you don’t like some changes you make, you can always go back to that snapshot. Or you can take snapshots of different adjustments you made to the gifs, then you can quickly compare how they look by toggling between snapshots.
iii. Keyboard Shortcuts
Know/ customize the shortcuts for things you often do, such as Crt+Z for undo, T for add text, V for move, Crl+A for select all, etc. It’ll save time & effort in the long run.
To customize, simply go to Edit → Keyboard Shortcuts.
iv. My Workspace
I’m the least organized person I know but I still want to talk about my ps workspace. It’s been structure to fit my giffing needs. Basically all the panels I need are there, and I maximize my space for the document window and timeline.
If you go to Window → Workspace → New Workspace, you can save your current workspace as a preset. So maybe if you moved things around or accidentally closed some panel that you don’t remember the name for, just click on that preset workspace, or if it says you’re already in that workspace click reset “whatever the name of your workspace” and your workspace will be reset. There’s mainly 2 workspace I toggle between, one for giffing and another for digital painting.
4. The more advanced stuff?
i. “Recolouring”
I’m not gonna spend a lot of time on this part because the next part is actually what I really want to talk about. But Hue/Saturation is going to be your friend if you want some major colour change. Then add a gradient map over it for good measure. I’ll link some tutorials for you if you don’t know what I mean.
Becca’s (@yenvengerberg) mega colouring tutorial
Kate’s tutorial on @usergif (←there’s all sorts of gif tutorials in their resources directory, go check it out)
People would always tell you to find gifs where the character barely moves or the background is of a contrasting colour to make the process easier. Now, with timeline you’ve got keyframes to help with slightly more movement. But what if you want to make something like this gif below? 😨
I made this during my earlier days of recolouring (which was not that long ago), and the only thing I could think of was colour it frame by frame. This gif has 73 frames. There are 8 gifs in this set which I had to all colour frame by frame. It was a long and tedious process I tell you, but the results, in my humble opinion, is stunning!!! But what if I tell you it can be done without colouring it frame by frame and it only takes a fraction of the time I spent?
(gif taken from my set here)
ii. After Effects & Rotoscoping
The reason I started using after effects was for this gif set. I got a gif request and my inspiration was the intro from the youtube channel sortedfood. Here’s how one of the gif looks like.
See the character cut out on the right? Basically the same thing in my recent Winnie the Pooh set. In my first trial, I was trying to do it frame by frame on ps like I always did, but there was no way I could get it looking smooth, it gets very jagged when the background was a completely different scene. And with some googling, that’s how I found out about rotoscoping on after effects.
This is the youtube tutorial I learnt it from and the one I send it to people when they ask me how I do character cut outs like that. I’ll try to quickly show you how I do it below, but please refer to that video if you want more details.
Usually I export my gifs as videos in timeline mode in ps, then import the video into ae. After I’m done, I’ll export the ae file as video, import it back into ps, convert back to frames and do the rest.
Here are my steps to rotoscoping:
Double click the layer you’d like to work on. The layer window should pop up and that is what you want to work with.
Click on the Rotobrush tool and paint across the object you want to include. Always paint across, not outline.
I have my roto brush set to version to 2.0, and I would change the quality from standard to best.
Continue painting until everything is included. Alt+drag to deselect unwanted parts. Hit spacebar when done and let it run.
You can change the properties of the roto brush selection in effect controls.
If you want a more detailed written explanation than this. Go to adobe’s help page on roto brush here.
Once you have the cut out of the object you desire, there are many things you can do with it.
Duplicate the original layer, change the colour of the bottom layer as aforementioned. And now you have a gif with a different coloured background.
Or you can have a different background (either a solid colour or a different video/gif)
You can have text behind the object, etc.
You get the idea. (This is a simple demo, please excuse the quality and choppiness of the gif)
Now you’ll never recolour gifs the same way again. Here’s a Kate & Yelena gif for you guys (even though it’s not the best, could’ve blurred out the edges a bit more but it’s still pretty damn awesome and I wouldn’t have coloured it like that if it wasn’t for ae)
(gif taken from my set here)
Here’s another gif I made with AE from this set. The possibility is endless and I’m barely scratching the surface. I can do a separate AE tutorial if you guys are interested. Let me know in the comments or tags.
5. Tutorials mentioned in this post
i. Text tutorials
@kylos’s film downloading and screencapping tips for making gifs
@kylos’s gif tutorial
@cillianmurphy’s giffing 101- your ultimate guide on how to make gifs
@realstraykids‘s gifmaking with vapoursynth tutorial
@anya-chalotra‘s sharpening & exporting tutorial
@sidonidoneeey‘s sharpening tutorial
@dewandawise‘s the beginner’s guide to channel mixer
@magnusedom’s colouring tutorial
@yenvengerberg’s mega colouring tutorial
@usergif’s how to change the background of any gif tutorial
adobe’s Roto Brush and Refine Matte
ii. Video tutorials
PiXimperfect’s Color Correction with Easy "4-Point" Technique!
PiXimperfect’s The Science of All 27 Blend Modes in Photoshop!
@michietuts‘s How to Color Grade Gifs Using Camera Raw
C.M. de la VEGA ‘s Get the Best Results with Rotobrush 2
6. Acknowledgement
Thank you so much to the authors of all the amazing tutorials, everything was so eloquently written, well explained and easy to follow.
And a huge shoutout to the people at @pscentral & @womenofmcu. Our conversations on gif making have prompted me to write this post.
I’ve learnt so much from the people at psc and thank you Ace & Val for creating this place that I didn’t even know I needed. It is one place I feel truly belong. So If anyone is interested in gif making, come join us at pscentral.
And thank you to the ladies at womenofmcu for being so nice and welcoming, always love chatting with you lot.
Last but not least, I’m patting myself on the back. For someone who’s terrible with words this is one hell of a long text post.
As always, happy giffing!
#completeresources#allresources#ps resources#userdanni#maystag#usergiu#tuserheidi#usershreyu#uservivaldi#userfnuggi#supervalcsi#aphrandt#userdean#userannalise#userrainbow#uservier#userelio#rogerhealey#tusercat#my tutorials#gif tutorial#even though I said this is not a tutorial I still need to tag it in a way I can find it
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I have a big problem with ot7 army’s who act very very weird towards jimin and jungkook specifically when it’s both of them involved in something and I think it’s quite a problem too. Ot7 army’s insinuate anything to do with Jikook as shipping and it’s lowkey an insulting way to think because can’t you see their friendship outside of a sexual and romantic relationship, yk the funny thing about that is they ‘hate’ shipping the boys but they can’t see jimin and jungkook as just friends. It’s always about a ship with them and they can never let anyone enjoy the moment.
What triggered this thought was the response to this tweet where the interviewer asked a question where he mentions jimin and the response was so wholly negative and I get that he didn’t ask the best questions but if it was namjoon mentioned for example or maybe even taehyung I know and believe the response probably would’ve been entirely different. And adding onto that when the GMA host asked about jimin they were mad again? But like what do you honestly expect jimin was also in the country with jungkook so they’re gonna ask about the member he’s with. What really annoyed me was that I and the rest of the fandom were mad for different reasons I was annoyed because she outed that jimin was there and it wasn’t common knowledge but the rest were mad just simply because of the mentioning of his name….
I’ve seen it’s such a widespread thing amont majority of the fandom to diminish or ignore jimin and jungkooks bond or what they obviously have. I saw a popular tweet saying jimin could pull namjoon and I honestly believe that and the comments agreed and mentioned yoongi and taehyung a lot but not once jungkook… i questioned whether we’re seeing the same content because not one mention of jungkook THAT MAN IS WHIPPED for jimin😭it’s not even that big of a deal but it is since it’s such a popular thing. And also jimin went to nyc to support jungkook no army talked about it only jkkrs.
Sorry I’m just gonna have a rant about some other thing’s because this feels like a safe space.
I also wanted to talk about the lack of action against tkkrs especially by ot7 army’s. And I have watched this from once again a neutral point of view as someone who doesn’t indulge in shipping. Tkkrs legitimately run the fandom they make up at most 50% of it too. So wherever you go you will see atleast one taekooker and by now I would’ve thought they would decrease in numbers but they haven’t and they’re running wild. The YouTube videos they made of jimin, the tiktoks spreading mistranslations, the SA tweets they make about him and just all the verbal harassment as well as defamation. And when I see these things happen it’s a big big deal but it’s never talked about and the one time they did which was that one twitter space where this old lady was talking none of the accounts got banned 💀 and I had reported them each 20 times. They also had posts accusing jimin of harassing jungkook which are reportable but the account managed to stay up even after it got more than 1mil views on their hate tweet?. I don’t how the account still being up can be explained other than by the fact that barely anybody didn’t anything. And the grouping they do is outrageous
I get that some/quite a big of jikookers are bad but they have never done what tkkrs do and continue to do. They use it as deflection they say “all shippers” and never explicitly mention that literal cult.
And I used to follow this one army who had been exposed for being a jimin anti and friends with vile taekookers mind you they had 20k followers. This person liked tweets by vile jimin anti (not the anti ones themselves) and was in a gc with taekookers who while she was in there shat on Jimins name and hated him. And yet no ot7 army called them out only pjms and jikookers. They still have an extremely large following. As well people jumped to their defence even when they themselves had none??? But then I saw them giving hate too a jimin bias army who by the way had never been an anti but just didn’t post about other members as much. The energy is always directed in the wrong directions and I think it’s purposeful.
1. I'm an OT7 army and while there are quite a few of us doing what we can about tkkrs. The point is valid
2. I also saw that minimoni tweet and saw the lack of Jungkook mentioned 🤣 sigh
3. Rant posted
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I am for real over all this syscourse bullshit. I’m not even going to argue with endos on whether they’re valid or not, idc. What I’m sick of is endos inserting themselves into our spaces, co-opting the language we use, and making every goddamn thing about them. We started this account just to find community with other CDD systems so we didn’t feel so alone and can escape the constant cycles of denial. But it seems like every other post is endo this, endo that no matter what filters we use and accounts we block. Endos whine about how they are so oppressed when in reality they are the ones invading our spaces and making shit about them. So many of us struggle every day with CPTSD symptoms and triggers and just want to build a community that understands us and our disorder. But then endos bust in and call everyone “sysmeds” (not a thing) for wanting to remain in traumagenic system spaces only. At first we wanted to be pro-endo because we didn’t want to deny anyone’s experience, and also somewhat believe that some endos are in denial about their trauma. After having enough with all the endo bullshit we decided to consider ourselves endo neutral. But endos consistently throw a fit if you are let adamantly in support of them, thus once again making everything about them. So now we don’t know. “Anti-Endo” seems so harsh to us, when we want to accept everyone. Honestly, if they didn’t actively cause harm to CDD systems and our spaces, we’d have no issue with them. While logically a system forming without trauma doesn’t make any sense to me, I’m not going to argue with them over their validity. I don’t know everything and don’t understand their experience so who am I to say shit. I just wish they could keep to themselves, create their own community, make up their own terminology, and not force their way into spaces not meant for them. If that makes us “anti-endo” so be it. We’re sick of it.
Anyways this is just a straight up rant, so feel free to ignore it. We just had to get some things off our chest and thought maybe this was a good place to do so. If not we sincerely apologize.
Hey we fully get you. We wouldn't have even made this had our main blog not started getting hate from endos all the time, we were content staying out of it until endos started coming after us.
Endos do tend to have an issue of claiming their some of the most oppressed meanwhile if a system mentions they have trauma they ignore them and steal names used for transphobes/radqueers as a "haha fuck you" thing.
No issues with not wanting to argue, the arguing can take too much stress to do.
Hey this account exists for anything system related, especially vents because sometimes we need them.
Please take care
#anti endo#did system#dissociative system#osdd system#polyfrag system#sysblr#system#anti endo supporter#endos aren't real#endos dni#endos fuck off#traumagenic system#traumagenic#actually traumagenic#hate using endo terms but in this case it gets attention#dissociative identity disorder#osddid#did osdd
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