Bracelet date ♡

Bonus

*cracks knuckles* we know Tyler isn’t the original Clancy right? Y’all caught that? Clancy’s bishop was Keons, Tyler’s is Nico, and now “Clancy” is Tyler. Because “scaled and icy” is an anagram for “Clancy is dead” and that album was the one where dema was using Tyler’s popularity for their own purposes. Clancy failed to stop the cycle on his own, and despite already being used as a figurehead for dema, Tyler decided to take up the role of “Clancy” in the wake of what seemed like a total collapse of the Banditos. Their leader had been taken out, and now they had no one to organize them.

But Tyler taking on the name Clancy isn’t him taking on the role of leader or even organizer. He is showing us (the Banditos) that we all can be our own inspiration, we don’t need a figure to follow, we don’t need a leader to lead us. We can do this, fight dema, ourselves.

Y’all got that, right?

Wally talks to his dad about his love life

Home I feel is a really good listener (maybe a little too good since he eavesdrops a lot on accident- very observant of his surroundings)

cw minor obsessive/possessive behavior on first photo under cut

I remember I freaked out years ago when I found out some bugs, specially some spiders, have lil beaned peets

The urge of casual intimacy. To just hold hands, kiss and cuddle, fall asleep entwined in their arms, and to have your hair played with. To just snuggle with forehead kisses, and feel all encompassed and loved and wanted. When your heart just swells and burns like it’ll burst out of your chest with how overwhelmed you are by your love for the other half of your soul.

I think something that often gets overlooked about the Lonely is that it isn’t just the fear of being rejected, abandoned, and unloved.

It is that, but it’s also the heavy sense of dread that settles in your bones when you realize that whatever danger you’re in, you have to deal with it on your own. It’s the realization that no one is around to hear you scream and that no one is coming to save you. It’s the feeling of calling emergency services (911, 119, etc.) and asking the operator when help is coming, only to be told that no one is coming, because they’re all tied up on other calls right now, so it may be another hour or so before anyone gets to you. It’s the visceral terror you feel when you finally realize that the help you need is never going to come, or if it does, they won’t be there until it’s already too late for you. It’s realizing that you’ll never see your loved ones again, and wondering if anyone will ever find your body, if anyone is going to care that you’re gone, if anyone is ever going to find out what happened to you, if anyone is even going to realize that you’re dead.

I have a lot to do and not enough energy to do it just yet, thanks to holidays and a backlog at work. Have I always been this tired, or have I forgotten? A riddle to solve in this new year. (No idea how i survived the last one aside from being a vertebrate cockroach)

Anyway, I still don’t know what I’m doing when it comes to Linocut, so I need to walk myself through the print process like I am a toddler. At least the plate looks nice at this stage?

Hopefully I can get back to regularly sketching at the very least. It’s been a journey.

do you ever just cry while thinking about how tender creature is with lisa or are you normal?

Shi Qingxuan: Turn that frown upside down, bestie! 😊😊😊

Ming Yi: … I will end your fucking life.

I know people have mentioned how Ghost Cole can be seen as a metaphor for depresssion (or just. Go hand in hand with it.) but have we considered Ghost Cole as a metaphor for just. Disorders/disabilities/chronic illness in general?

Like ok specifically disorders that you gain rather than ones you’re born with. A lot of disorders and disabilities actually tend to develop during your late teens to early 20s (although I believe there’s genetic risk factors for a lot of them) Which. Would be the rough age of the ninja during S5. Aka around the age range Cole is when he gets ghosted.

And!!! A lot of people need to come to terms with it when they become disabled!!! Even with disorders so many of them can be so debilitating that you can’t perform a lot of actions you used to be able to do, especially if you have such a rare or misunderstood disorder, or an often overlooked part of a disorder that, say, you don’t have easy access to any of the necessary information you need to manage the symptoms / accommodate you and need to figure it all out yourself…. Like the way Cole struggles to do even “simple” things like touch or hold objects and needs to figure out how to work around that by himself because they don’t have any sort of knowledge on ghosts. And the way that sometimes gets in the way of him helping his friends and he feels the need to apologize when he can’t grab their hand during situations. And the way the others are trying to figure out how to approach the situation and accommodate him or what types of jokes he’s comfortable with.

Or when you have an extremely stigmatized disorder that you’re scared people will hate you for. Like. Like the way people are afraid of gho-

(I’m saying all of this as someone with early onset OCD)

Anyways my point is I think ghost cole can actually work for a lot more than just depression I think we could extend it to a lot of things actually.

(also yes there’s the whole him becoming human thing being able to be read as a magic cure for disability when you think of it this way but. Depression is also a chronic illness. So.) (also I’m in charge of canon here and i choose to say that never happened and even if it did he still has tons of side effects and issues he needs to deal with for the rest of his life)

Writing Maria is so fun because you just gotta have her walk the road to perdition with good intentions all along the way, make horrible decisions and mistakes, have several panic attacks while trying to pretend the bad things never happened, bury herself in trauma and guilt, and ultimately have her completely snap and give up. It’s amazing.

I’ve always loved medicine bc it’s the perfect intersection of science and humanity—the two things I value above all else in this world. Truly adored it since I was in the cradle. But now I’m thinking about how so much of my journey to neurosurgery will have to involve KILLING my feelings essentially bc how do you survive otherwise

Marauders era characters as my self deprecating thoughts

cause I’m not doing well lol

James: Do people really like me ore do they just like the version of myself I decide to show them?

Sirius: If i will be dramatic enough when It’s not that bad people would normalize my real breakdowns

Remus: Keep a smile on, maybe this time “fake it till you make it “ will work. People don’t need to see when you struggle, it will make them sad and sorry for you

Peter: I don’t do enough for others, I’m not enough for others. Why can’t I be like the Others?

Mary : I worked SO hard not to be a people pleaser i think I became such a bitch people hate me

Regulus: God, I corrected them again I didn’t mean to be mean she is my friend she must hate me now, god that’s why nobody likes a know it all

Even: my friends told me they are a bit scared of me again, am I bad person for not completely hating it or am I just overprotective of myself after so long, I won’t hurt my friends, but maybe they wouldn’t hurt me again. I don’t want them to be scared of me, not really, I love them. How do I even have friends?

Barty: I got a good score on the test WHY DID I GET A GOOD SCORE ON THE TEST I didn’t study enough., it must be a mistake, just pure dumb luck I’m not smart enough everyone think i smart when i feel so fucking stupid

on a sirius note- if you need help, please get help. You matter and can rant to me any time 💕- edit written AFTER the breakdown lol

“don’t rub your face with a towel it causes wrinkles” i do not care. “don’t sleep on your face it causes fine lines” wrinkles are cool. “buy this collagen product” it’s probably not bioavailable and i have bone stock in the fridge.

you’d think with this fear of aging they’d tell young women to avoid stress and malnutrition; instead it’s posts like “life in the day of a skinny girlboss” where she eats no solid foods and gets preventative botox on her lunch break

Cheers *sips some red wine* 🍷