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#i would rather be tortured

shikai-the-storyteller · 5 months

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I'm not a huge fan of the Tazercraft mental link headcanon (it's just not my cup of tea personally), HOWEVER—

I can't stop thinking about Pac in Alcatraz with his back to the wall as Cell approaches him with a cold smile on his face and a bloody knife in one hand, and Pac completely blocking Mike out because he knows something terrible is about to happen, and if he can't save himself then maybe he can at least spare Mike the graphic gory details.

And even when he’s lying on the cold concrete floor in a pool of his own blood, Pac is still trying to block everything out so he doesn't project his pain to Mike through their mental link. But ultimately, that's what scares Mike the most — the sharp flash of Pac's terror for an instant, and then silence.

#i talk #qsmp talk #I wonder if he thought Pac was dead #I wonder if Mike did the same thing when he was kidnapped and tortured by the Federation #Something about phrasing the mental link like THAT makes the idea a tiny bit more appealing to me #emotions rather than outright thoughts #but idk the whole concept of having someone else in your head is a personal squick of mine. I'd hate that.#The only exception is like frickin. The drift compatibility thing #But even that is a bit iffy. I still personally would never do that #As far as fan work or stories in general go - it depends entirely on how people write it #but as a whole I'm pretty '' :/ '' about the concept #This idea wouldn't leave my head though #tw blood mention #blood mention #ask to tag #you know the drill #fic talk

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uncanny-tranny · 2 years

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Every now and again, I see people upset about others trying to find the joy in being trans, but like... why is it an issue?

I've been in pain since I was seven years old. I'm tired of it! Sadness is dull, take it from me. It chews you up and spits you out until you're unrecognizable, and that's what's expected of trans people - that we will be okay with being miserable, that it is a badge of honour that proves we're worthy enough to be recognized. I'm exestentially exhausted of it.

Yes, expressing pain is completely healthy. Yes, it is only natural if you feel sad because you're trans. But to expect and demand all of us to be in pain and sadness and suicidality in order to "prove" ourselves? What does that accomplish? How is this acceptance?

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #transphobia #transphobia tw #suicide tw #suicide mention tw #i almost ended my life because of my dysphoria due to the fact i wasn't able to transition. i deserve a break. i deserve happiness #and hell you do too! holy shit you deserve happiness #the expereience of depression and dysphoria- in my experience- became SO dull and boring and just... sad...#...and i never want to live like that ever again. i would rather fight and die than subject myself to that type of torture...#...because it IS torture. unfortunately it is torture that far too many have experienced...#...being trans is not inherently painful but there are pains caused by being trans #this isn't me bashing those who are in this space right now. it's bashing the idea that trans people don't DESERVE to be happy #because that's all this 'trans people NEED to be miserable' is about. it's telling us we deserve pain...#...that our pain is the CONSEQUENCE of daring to be trans. every act against that narrative is an act of rebellion #and ofc you can't always be happy. but you deserve to just LIVE.

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hussyknee · 1 month

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Y'know, when the choice is between voting for one of two tyrannical war criminal genociders and overturning the government, the "lesser evil" is, in fact, overturning the government. That's the difficult but necessary choice, especially since your country is holding most of the world hostage to its interests. Libs just know that their own lives might be part of the collateral, and worse, that their comfort will definitely be. That's what this is all about. After decades on decades of sacrificing Black and brown people in exchange for the stability of their power structures, they've realized that it's finally their turn.

#vote blue #every vote blue liberal deserves to have their limbs blown off‚ burned to death‚ buried alive‚ tortured and starved the way palestinians are #they should experience every single iota of their suffering #and those of parents and children separated and caged at the border and black people brutalized by cops #watch their loved ones die and become disabled with covid #since lives are just a numbers game to you then you deserve to be among the numbers victimized. see whether that clears things up #i would rather deal with alt right trolls than this scum of the earth #at least they don't try to hide what they really are #genocide joe #fuck joe biden #us politics #free palestine #gaza genocide #fascism #knee of huss

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slightlyunconventional · 1 year

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Here goes:, because this has been swimming around in my head:

K/az has injured his arm(s) on their last job. He’s sore, having trouble moving it, it's in a sling, etc., something like that.

And on top of it all, for reasons of your choice, he’s SUPER sneezy.

I just want to read I/nej helping him tend to his nose. Since K/az can't reach it himself (or he can but not without immense amounts of pain). Like, I/nej rubbing his nose gently for him, massaging his nostrils through cloth to help him sneeze or not sneeze, soothing the itch, cleaning it up--anything, just give me I/nej tending to Kaz’s super sneezy irritated nose ^__^; only if you like

THANK YOU for this prompt i adore it so much and i genuinely had so much fun writing this! i hope you enjoy :D

assistance (basically, k/az is a TOTAL mess and i/nej is lovely as usual)

After a nasty run-in with some thugs from a rival club during a job gone sour, K/az found himself in quite the predicament. The kind of predicament that meant both of his arms were out of action. To his credit, he’d held up his own against the gang for a surprisingly long time but still walked away with a broken wrist and a very painful forearm that was most likely fractured - not to mention the sizeable purple bruise he was sporting on his jaw.

K/az threw open the door and stomped into the Slat looking positively bedraggled. His hat had been discarded somewhere amidst the conflict.

“It was twenty versus one! I can’t believe he wouldn’t let us get involved!”

“What, and blow our own cover? Did you want us to die?”

“He probably died!”

“Saints, J/es, N/ina, calm down. He was putting up a good fight, I’m sure he’ll be- oh, K/az,” I/nej said, spotting K/az as he entered the room. She stood up from the table where J/esper and N/ina were bickering and approached the rain-soaked man.

“Yes, I took care of them all,” Kaz rasped, answering Inej’s question before she could even ask it.

The gap between them was almost closed as Inej stepped forward, looking closely at his face.

“Are you okay?” she dared to ask.

Kaz let his expression soften at her words.

“I’m okay,” he hesitated, “well, I’ll be okay.”

Concern blossomed in Inej’s eyes like the petals of a crocus.

“You know that’s not what I want to hear.”

Kaz remained silent. He was suddenly acutely aware of each and every droplet of water sliding from his hair and onto the floor, and the way his sodden clothes clung to his skin, and the warmth he felt in his cheeks from Inej’s proximity even under the sting of a fresh bruise. Another drop of rain slipped from Kaz’s mess of soaked black hair, falling down right between their faces. Inej’s eyes tracked the droplet down as it fell to the floorboards. She lifted her gaze to meet his. The heat in Kaz’s cheeks grew, much to his resentment.

“I think you dropped something,” she said quietly, looking back down at the rain-spattered ground.

The corners of Kaz’s lips twitched. He noted the glint in Inej’s deep brown eyes.

A (surprisingly clean) towel ruined the moment by soaring right into their faces. Kaz and Inej looked up simultaneously, met by Jesper’s shit-eating grin.

“Good fight, boss? I knew you’d come out on top,” he said smugly.

“Were you not just panicking because you thought he was dead?” Nina asked with her eyebrows raised.

Inej snorted.

“No idea what you’re talking about, Nins.”

Now it was Kaz’s turn to raise his eyebrows. “And why did you throw a towel at me?”

Jesper shrugged. “Looked like you needed it.”

Kaz sighed. He took the towel from Inej who had picked it up off the floor where it had landed. Inej clocked the way he winced when reaching his arm out.

“Thank you,” Kaz said quietly. He made his way over to the stairs, the gazes of everyone in the room like lasers on his back. Inej watched him closely and, seeing his extra-pronounced limp and the shake of the arm holding his cane with every step, decided to follow him.

“I don’t believe I asked for an entourage.”

“It’s not just your room that's upstairs,” Inej replied, a little too quickly. She knew Kaz didn’t believe her, but he still let her trail behind him as he ascended the stairs lopsidedly. They walked in silence until they reached Kaz’s room, when he looked back at her with a single eyebrow lifted. Inej took this as her cue to pretend to disappear into her own room. She definitely didn’t imagine the pained sigh that escaped Kaz. As soon as he’d shut his door, she slipped back out into the corridor and stood quietly outside, listening.

She heard the creak of Kaz’s chair as he lowered himself into it, then a heavy clatter on the floor.

“Shit,” muttered Kaz. The chair creaked again. Probably dropped his cane, Inej thought, strange, though, that’s not like him. The patter of the rain on the roof and windows severely hindered her ability to listen in on him, however.

After a few moments, Inej did manage to hear a rather wet-sounding thump, presumably Kaz discarding his thick, wool greatcoat onto the floor. Another sigh. Part of her wanted to enter the room and see him, help dry his hair, hang his coat up by the window, fall asleep with her head resting on his firm shoulder, but she knew she shouldn’t. So she waited, she listened.

“Oh, Saints,” Inej heard after a short while. She had not a second to wonder why Kaz had said that, as the next moment she heard a sound she hadn’t heard in a very long time.

“hehH’GNKTSschew!”

She then heard what she thought was Kaz sucking a sharp breath in through his teeth. He’s in pain, she realised. A million thoughts barrelled through her mind - is he sick? Injured? Both? Inej worried at her lower lip, knowing now that Kaz was in way worse condition than he was letting on. Against her better judgement, she slowly pushed open the door… right as Kaz was (trying to) stifle another harsh sneeze.

“hH’GKKTTSChhiew! Huhh…”

The hand he used to pinch his nose was shaking slightly as he lifted it from his face. His brows were drawn tightly together and his teeth were gritted, hard - Inej had never seen him looking so pained. He looked up at Inej who was hovering in the doorway, hand still lifted cautiously in the air, as though he was scared to put it down.

“Saints above, Kaz. You said you were fine,” Inej said with worry.

Kaz averted his eyes. “I am fine,” he replied shortly.

Inej approached him and gently took his gloved hand in hers.

“Don’t-” he started, teeth still gritted. He yanked his hand away instinctively. She noticed how his face paled slightly.

“What happened to your hands, Kaz?” asked Inej, quietly but firmly. Kaz still didn’t meet her gaze.

“Nothing.”

“You can’t expect me to believe that.”

Kaz hesitated. He looked down at his hand.

“Broke it. My wrist,” he muttered with reluctance, “Think the other arm’s fractured, too.”

Inej held back a gasp. “Tell me you’re joking.”

Kaz shook his head, hair still damp from the torrential rain.

“Why didn’t you tell anyone?” she asked incredulously, “In fact, nevermind that, we need Nina to fix-”

“No, we don’t-!” Kaz cut in. His words were tinted with a note of panic that she’d never heard before.

Inej let her shoulders lower. She sighed. “At least let me patch you up, then.”

“Fine.”

“Right. Good. I’ll get the first aid kit,” Inej said, beginning to turn away.

“-hahH’KKSCHHhiew! Oh, God, I-” Kaz sneezed wetly and openly, cringing at the mess it left on his upper lip. He raised his hand weakly to his face to cover it.

“Saints, and I’ll get some tissues. Try not to move your arms around too much, okay?” Inej said. She left the room.

A short while later, Inej returned to Kaz’s room, clutching a box containing the Slat’s first aid kit, as well as a rather old-looking box of tissues. He was still sitting at his desk, one arm hanging at his side, the other with its hand resting carefully on the tabletop. His nose had become significantly pinker since Inej last saw him, which was only mere minutes prior. She was greeted with another grating sneeze.

“haHH’GKKSHHhiew!”

“Bless you,” Inej offered.

“I’m sorry, I… cah-cahhn’tseemtostop-! huhH’KTSCHHh! ‘GKKSCHH! hah-hAH’KKTSCHHhiew!”

“Wow. Bless you, bless you, bless you,” Inej said with a sympathetic smile, “Oh, you’ve made a real mess of yourself there, Kaz.”

He lifted his hand to clean himself up, but tensed up at the pain. Inej leaned forward and gently helped his arm back down.

“Here, let me.”

“There’s a hahh-handker-’TSSCHhiew! Ugh. Handkerchief, in my coat.”

“That’ll be soaking wet, Kaz. I have tissues.”

She plucked a couple of tissues from the box she’d placed on Kaz’s desk and used them to gently clean up Kaz’s face. He sighed.

“You know I can do it myself,” he said thickly, voice muffled by the soft tissues in front of his face.

“I know you can, but is it going to do you any good?” Inej asked; a rhetorical question. She made sure to keep her touch on his face gentle. She knew how sensitive his nose could get. As if on cue, Inej felt Kaz’s nose flare under the tissues.

“‘Nej, I’m going to-” His breaths were rapid and shallow.

“I know.”

“But I don’t wanna sn- haHH’GKKTSCHHhew! haH’ISCHHhiew!” He cut himself off with two heavy, messy sneezes, right into the tissues in Inej’s hand. “Saints, I’m sorry,” he added breathlessly.

“Bless you, bless you. It’s okay.” Inej gently cleaned his face once again. The pure exhaustion in his coffee-brown eyes sent a pang of pity through her heart.

“You really don’t need to say ‘bless you’ every… hahh… every- oh- sorry, I’m- haHH’KKSHHHhiew!”

Inej smiled. “Bless you.”

Kaz rolled his eyes. Inej tightened her hand on his face slightly.

“Blow,” she instructed. Kaz looked up at her in disbelief.

“I really don’t think that’s-”

“You heard me,” she cut in, “By the sound of those sneezes, you need it.”

The dark haired man hesitated, but eventually leaned into the tissues with a sigh, and blew his nose heavily. Inej smiled sympathetically. Kaz emerged looking positively mortified.

“Never doing that again,” he muttered.

“You wouldn’t have had to if you didn’t insist on taking on that entire gang on your own,” Inej pointed out. Kaz shot her a look. She tilted her head at him, still smiling softly. “Now let’s get you bandaged up, okay?”

He nodded. Inej opened the first-aid box and pulled out a roll of wide bandages.

“Roll up your sleeve for me,” she said gently. He obliged.

Inej got to work wrapping his broken wrist in bandages - it was the best she could do, considering Kaz refused to let Nina see to him, at least for now. It wasn’t long before Kaz’s breath caught again. He turned his head away from Inej, trying his best to keep his hand still as she tended to it.

“Sorry- hahH’KKSCHHIEWhh!”

“Bles-” Inej started.

Kaz shook his head. “N-not done-” he said, panting. “hAH’KTSCHHUHh!”

His whole body shook with the force of each sneeze, his shoulders tensing and legs jolting slightly upwards. Luckily, Inej had finished wrapping his broken wrist, so she could stop to once again tend to Kaz’s nose. She pressed two fresh tissues to his face and massaged his nose ever so gently. His breath caught sharply.

“Don’t, that’s too- hahH-! Too gentle, I’m g-go--huHH’GKKSCHHHh! ‘SSCHHHhiew!”

“Oh, Saints, sorry. You really can’t stop, can you?” Inej said, still cradling his face with the thick wad of tissue.

“It’s the rain, or something. Apparently it really g-gets to… to… me-'' Kaz's eyes narrowed and Inej felt his nostrils flare desperately even through the tissues. His breath hitched.

“haAHhdt-! huh-hUH-huhHh- oh, S-saints, it’s not comi- haAH-!”

“Stuck, huh?” Inej teased, “Happens to the best of us.”

Inej decided to reuse her “too-gentle” massaging technique to ease Kaz along. Perhaps it worked a little too well - he exploded into a series of tearing, messy sneezes, each outburst just barely caught in Inej’s hand.

“haAHh’GNKTSCHHhuhh! ‘KKSCHHIEW! ‘SHHHhew! hah-hAH-hAHH’KZZSCHIEWhh! ‘IZZSCHHhiew!”

He was left panting, almost unable to catch his breath. Inej reached for a few more tissues, keeping the used ones braced to Kaz’s face in case of another incident. She now held a thick wad of tissues, pressed to Kaz’s streaming reddened nose.

“Bless you - I don’t even know how many times,” Inej said with a slight laugh. She cleaned up the rest of the mess that had gathered on his face with the tissues, all while Kaz’s cheeks turned pink in true mortification. Inej noticed this and added, “You don’t have to be embarrassed. This happens to everyone.”

She saw Kaz’s shoulders relax slightly and he exhaled slowly.

“Saints, that was awful. I’m sor-” he started.

“Don’t apologise. You know I value being able to care for you. I’m glad you let me.”

Kaz nodded silently. He leaned back in his chair, exhaustion now clear in his face.

“Let’s get to that other arm now, shall we?”

#ALRIGHT #YEAH #i like this okay i hope it isnt bad #again TYSM for the ask i literally loved every second of writing this #love torturing k/az <3 #snz #snzblr #snz kink #snz blog #snzario #snzfic #s/ix of cr/ows #sneeze kink #sneezefic #also would like to note that i text edited and posted this via my laptop rather than my phone so hopefully theres no fatal errors LOL #anyway enjoy!

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asinglemagpie · 9 days

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Okay so I don't think I ever read the official blurb for "The Sunshine Court" and...

But when he is stolen from Edgar Allan University and sold to a more dangerous master

... it's funny how I never paused to realise that's exactly how Jean would see it.

I know he says repeatedly that they've taken him from the Nest and he doesn't want to be there, but I still got swept up in the thinking that Renee saved him, that Neil gave him a future. Somehow while acknowledging his unhappiness and fear at his situation I never quite boiled it down to those words.

And those words hit hard.

I wonder if it'll read differently when I get there again!

#Chattering in Black and White #All For The Game #The Sunshine Court #Spoilers #I mean I personally also think Ichirou is a better option than Riko lmao - I would rather be killed and it be done with #than tortured every day for the rest of my life - so I guess that also coloured how I read it too XDD

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little--leaves · 1 month

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"can she stop singing so many words"

"so pretentious, using big words to sound smart"

"you need a dictionary to understand her songs"

the words in question: "petulance" , "precocious", "sanctimoniously", and "soliloquies" etc.

so we skipped english class? those are not big words?? do you need a dictionary??? do you need help reading sweetheart???? I'll hold your hand, we can do this together

#Also im seeing alot of people with rather bad comprehension skills #as an aspiring English teacher I'm a bit shocked ngl #I hope people are just hating for the sake of hating and that they don't actually mean what they say #that would be embarrassed 😭😭#I know knowledge is a privilege but what is THIS #taylor swift #ts ttpd #ttpd #the tortured poets department

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labyrynth · 8 months

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I normally just leave opinions as 'if we disagree we disagree' but I found your post comparing the golden core transfer and consent in remarkably bad taste. I don't care how passionate you are about this fictional book comparing the real fucking trauma rape victims have gone through the shit we have experienced to fictional xianxia surgery is so so disrespectful rape victims are more important then a fucking fictional consent argument. Thanks.

i had to go back and search for what the fuck you’re talking about, bc initially i thought you were talking about this post and i was like ??? and then i realized you probably meant the initial tags on this other post (which…there’s a reason it wasn’t in the actual post, which was a salt/rant post to begin with.)

sorry you found my off the cuff rant in response to some of the abhorrent things people have said about consent while trying to argue that wwx was 100% in the right (see the aforementioned posts), and my comparison of a horrific violation of consent, agency, and bodily autonomy to *checks notes* a different but also horrific violation of consent, agency, and bodily autonomy to be in poor taste but like. not actually.

bc i personally find it to be in poor taste when a fictional character lies to someone whose agency and bodily autonomy was violated and was traumatized by the experience in order to get them to “agree” to another violation of agency and bodily autonomy (but it’s fictional, so whatever.)

but i find it in even poorer taste for real life people to claim that actually that character did nothing wrong; consent was given and there was no violation. or if there was a violation, it’s his own fault, and he should have known better.

bc it’s true that fictional xianxia surgery doesn’t exist, but consent, agency, and bodily autonomy DO, and if real people have used their real world judgement to conclude that THIS situation was consensual—especially if they bend over backwards, unironically using the same arguments used to discredit survivors of rape to argue as such—that’s a red flag.

#moi #salt is salt #mdzs talk #didn’t someone make a post recently discussing how the situation with the golden core could be read as a rape allegory?#bc i do think there’s credence in that reading #wc & co HAD jc. they could have killed him.#it would have been the prudent thing to do!#but they didn’t kill him #instead they chose to torture him and humiliate him #and given that they still didn’t kill him after we can reasonably assume the intent was for him to live in humiliation #rather than take the ‘easy’ and ‘more honorable’ way out (aka death)#these clowns always pretend they don’t get it until you ask them #if offering a starving man a Human Patty (but telling them it’s beef) is a violation of consent #i mean christ alive it doesn’t even have to be that drastic #LYING TO PEOPLE TO OBTAIN THEIR CONSENT IS CALLED COERCION #AND IS GENERALLY FROWNED UPON #AND IT IS GENERALLY UNDERSTOOD THAT IF SOMEONE AGREED ONLY UNDER FALSE PRETENSES #THAT THEY DID NOT ACTUALLY PROVIDE CONSENT #ask #anon

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nevarroes · 2 months

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would cas ever attempt to kill raphael after hearing what he's done to gortash? considering killing people is like a way for him to show his affection

sorry idk why I sat on this question for a while😫💔

hmm so the thing with this is that firstly... killing people isn't really his way to show affection tbh. Like he's killed people because of Gortash but it was more for himself than anything, like he kills out of jealousy, of spite, to keep Gortash's pride, he kills if Gortash asks him to do so but he wouldn't really kill with the intention to please

secondly Cas has his own beef with Raphael too considering that Raphael's shitty plan back then is what made Mephistopheles catch him nd then result in his exile and near-death so... he would try to kill Raphael anyways😖 Like sure Cas knows what he did to Gortash too but it's more "one more reason" rather than the sole reason why Cas would try to jump him on the spot. Cas also genuinely doesn't have enough empathy to be mad on behalf of Gortash for something that didn't even happen while Cas was there, if that makes sense?

also one last thing but I don't even really think that Gortash sees Raphael as the person that caused that tbh. Raphael wasn't his torturer and he also wasn't the one that directly made the deal, so while I obviously don't think he feels positively towards him I also don't think he really holds a grudge against him specifically especially compared to his parents and Nubaldin

anyways tldr Cas would kill Raphael anyways but moreso for his own reasons but it's not like he can freely move around in the Nine Hells so there's little chance. Raphael also doesn't exactly come to Cas for u know... similar reasons especially since in the Gortcas story they destroyed the crown later on👼

#blakemail #gortcas lore #i do wanna say tho that if u were to ask about nubaldin however and if they ever met Cas would give him a long painful torture sesh #only if Gortash is there though. again Cas is weird like he's not killing or torturing in the hopes of it pleasing he needs to see it #he'd also torture him. like for the rest of his life rather than kill him #Cas is an “assassin” for Gortash sure but his thing is actually torturing people and causing the greatest possible pain #instead of straight up killing people👼

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elegantwoes · 1 year

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What do you think would happened if sansa stayed in winterfell instead of going to KL?

I am gonna assume that you mean Sansa stayed in Winterfell, but the other things still happen? If so, then Sansa’s fate would be a hundred time worse. Theon had this nasty little thought about Sansa:

A pity Ned Stark had taken his daughters south; elsewise Theon could have tightened his grip on Winterfell by marrying one of them. Sansa was a pretty little thing too, and by now likely even ripe for bedding. But she was a thousand leagues away, in the clutches of the Lannisters. A shame. (A Clash of Kings - Theon IV)

Theon would absolutely try to use Sansa and if, by a miracle, she managed to escape him she would fall in the hands of a bigger monster: Ramsay and tv-show scenario would play out. If you look at it from this perspective Sansa was not wrong for not agreeing with the plan to go back.

#answered #sansa stark #it’s a good thing Cersei and LF stopped Ned from leaving by ship #because it saved Sansa (and potentially Arya) from a worse fate #yes Ned did die because of it #but I would rather have that then Sansa suffering #sorry not really sorry #and before antis attack me Ned would agree with me #and you guys know it too #he would choose a quick beheading over Sansa leading a torturous life any day of the week

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