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heyyyharry · 4 years

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Chapter 11: Our Place

(from the My Girl Trilogy: Stay Mine)

…in which they learn something about trust.

Warning: SMUT.

Word count: 5.9k

AU: actor!Harry, older!Harry, younger!Y/N, (4-year age gap).

Wattpad link (Thea as Y/N)

I got food poisoning yesterday and it was like waking up from a comma because I thought today was Tuesday. I’ve got only two days to write the next TCTM chapter. Fuck. Me.

Anyway, enjoy this chapter! Let me know what you think :)

Laura was asleep when Y/N came. The nurse attending her said that she’d woken up for a few minutes before drifting off again, so Y/N would have to come back tomorrow if she wanted to speak to Laura. At least now she knew Laura was safe. It was getting late and she had already texted Laura’s assistant; her job here was done. She’d better go home and get some rest.

But the thing was, she didn’t really want to go home. The thought of facing Blake – who must have been waiting for her to come back so they could talk – instantly put her off. Thank God she’d never given him her number.

As soon as she exited the hospital, she fished out her phone to call the only person she wanted to see right now. Before she could even unlock the screen, however, she spotted him standing right by his car. Maybe telepathic communication was real.

His face lit up the second he saw her. He waved, and her tight muscles eased with relief as she adjusted the strap of her bag on her shoulder and ambled toward him. He pushed away from his car, met her halfway and eagerly wrapped her in his arms. She melted instantly into his protective hug, blinking back her tears. Fuck. It’d been a really shitty day.

“I’m sorry I lied to you,” she mumbled as he pressed his lips to her forehead. She’d texted him an hour ago that she’d been writing and needed to be alone in order to focus. Though she’d hoped he wouldn’t come over to check on her, she was glad he’d shown up here.

“Laura’s assistant called me because she couldn’t reach you,” he said, his face taut with concern. “Have you spoken to her?”

Y/N nodded, watching his brows pulled together.

“I’m sorry about what happened with Laura,” he ventured. “How is she?”

“She was asleep when I left…”

“Did you know she was a heavy drinker?”

“No,” she murmured. “I just came over to ask her why she’d cancelled the meeting with the publisher, and I found her unconscious out on the floor.”

Half of the truth was all she could afford to tell him; he’d be so upset to find out about what Blake had done. Besides, tomorrow he’d have to hear the truth about his father and Gemma and Isaac, so she couldn’t unload her burden on him now.

Suddenly, she wondered if Gemma and Isaac had already left. What if Harry had run into them before Y/N had come out? Judging from how calm he seemed, Y/N guessed he hadn’t.

“Come on,” he spoke, rubbing her arms to warm her up. “I’ll take you home.”

“Wait.” She tugged at his sleeve, feeling a bit shy. “Can I...can I stay at your place tonight?”

He blinked at her, his lips slightly parted, then he smiled. “My place is yours, kid. You don’t have to ask.”

He kissed her on the cheek and opened the door on the passenger side for her. She got in. Her eyes stayed fixed on him when he got behind the wheel and buckled his seatbelt. As he started the car, she started to replay those four words inside her head.

My place is yours.

At his place, she took a shower while he prepared dinner for the two of them. She felt a sense of guilt and misplaced anger for the things she wasn’t allowed to tell him. He was happy tonight, well, not exactly happy, but he wasn’t in a bad mood, and completely unaware of all the terrible things Winton and Emilia had been doing to him since the beginning. They didn’t deserve him. But who was she to criticize? She hadn’t been honest, either. She’d doubted him today, and for a moment believed he had something to do with Laura when it’d turned out to be Blake.

Blake. God. She felt like such a wimp for not being able to face him after their fight. Why did she have to feel sorry when it was him who was in the wrong?

“Dinner is ready!” Harry’s announcement pulled her out of her thoughts. She turned off the water and poked her head out of the shower to see his silhouette idling outside the bathroom door.

“Why don’t you come in?” she asked, biting back a grin when she imagined him smirking.

“I wouldn’t be able to help myself and dinner would get cold,” he reasoned.

“I don’t mind cold dinner as long as we’ve got hot sex.”

Her answer made him laugh. She swore to God that sexy low laugh of his made her knees go weak every fucking time. “Just get dressed, please,” he said. “I’ll wait for you downstairs.”

“All right.” She rolled her eyes and wrapped a towel around her torso. His silhouette disappeared from the door.

After having blow-dried her hair, she put on a dark blue silk bathrobe with his initials on the back (she’d always joked about how vain of him to have his initials embroidered on his robes) and made her way downstairs. The house was dark, but she didn’t wonder why; Harry rarely turned on the lights when he was alone. Sometimes he was lazy, sometimes he did it on purpose to enjoy the comforting darkness. She’d found it weird at first but she was used to it now.

Padding down the hallway to the dining room, she came into the soft warm orange light coming through the door gaps. Curious and anticipative, she pawed the door open and was met with a candlelit room, dinner for two made by Harry, who was still dressed in the same clothes he’d worn earlier – a black t-shirt tucked into high-waisted black trousers. He looked handsome and put-together as always; meanwhile, she looked like she was here for the spa. She didn’t mind, and neither did he.

He set down the champagne bottle to put his arms around her and kiss her on the lips, cheek and forehead. “Hmm, you smell good,” he growled into her ear, which made her giggle as she placed a hand on his chest and pushed him away.

“What’s all this?” she asked, scanning her eyes around the room.

He gave a shrug. “Just wanna do something nice for my girlfriend.”

“You didn’t have to–”

“Just sit down, will you?” He pulled a chair and nodded his head toward it, so she rolled her eyes and sat down with her hands on her lap.

“I hope you like spaghetti,” he said, taking the seat across from her. She looked down at the plate of meatballs and spaghetti. It was the only thing he knew how to cook.

“Believe it or,” she said as he poured champagne into their glasses. “This is actually the first decent meal I’ve had this week. I’ve been living off on instant noodles and protein bars. No joke.”

He sat frozen in his seat, horror overtaking his face. “That’s not good, Bambi. You have to eat well. If we lived together, I would feed you three proper meals a day.”

She took a sip from her glass and rested her chin on her knuckles. “I love you, baby. But I don’t think I can eat spaghetti three times a day every day.”

“I might even take a cooking class for you. No joke,” he stated and clinked his glass with hers. Her heart fluttered as she knew he meant it.

“Stop being so goddamn perfect or I might drop down on my knee and propose to you right away.” She reached across the table to squeeze his hand and stroked the ring she’d given him. “Or maybe I already did.”

“This ring doesn’t count,” he objected, acting upset. “I’m not that kind of guy, Bambi. You’re gonna have to buy me a real ring if you’re gonna propose.”

“You know what? I’ve changed my mind.” She raised both hands, shaking her head. “I don’t want to marry you anymore.”

A few jokes later, silence somehow found its way back in, but they weren’t bothered by it. The food was still untouched as they continued eyeing each other. Y/N’s heart bloated at the way he looked at her, with so much adoration and bliss, as if she meant everything to him. Well, that was because she did. She knew she did; he’d said it too many times before.

She decided to shake off all the bad things that had happened tonight as she stood and walked around the table toward him. He didn’t break eye contact with her as she settled onto his lap, straddling his waist, arms around his neck. He plucked at the neckline of her robe playfully to peer down the valley of her breasts. The way he arched an eyebrow made her giggle.

She picked up the champagne bottle, drank directly from it then wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and pushed her lips against his. A groan rumbled across his chest as he fisted her hair to let her know he’d been waiting for this all night. He took the bottle from her hand, put it back on the table and cupped her face, slipping his tongue into her mouth. Before she knew it, her robe was on the floor and she was riding him. She was completely naked while he was still clothed, his trousers shoved past his bum, his massive hands guiding her hips to match the rhythm of his thrusts. They hadn’t fucked in only a day but it’d felt so long, and she was shamelessly horny. Maybe it was the romantic atmosphere. Maybe she was feeling vulnerable tonight. Maybe she just really loved him. Maybe it was all at once. For whatever reason, she needed this. They went as hard as they could until they came at the same time, shouting and shaking with the ecstasy of their release.

It took Y/N a whole minute to pull herself out of the euphoric daze when his dick grew soft and slipped out, leaving a visible dripping mess on his black trousers and the hem of his shirt. He chuckled breathlessly at the sight, his cheeks flushed, and she felt her core throb again.

“That probably won’t come out,” she cheekily commented. Before he could respond, she reached between them and dipped a finger into her pussy while he watched with his lips parted and his eyes dark. She withdrew the finger slowly, now coated with his and her juices, and slipped it into her mouth, her cheeks hollowing as she sucked and moaned his name. Harry let out a desperate “ahh” as he tossed his head back and threw an arm over his eyes. Seeing his reaction, she had to break character and dissolve into laughter.

“You’re gonna be the death of me,” he said, brushing her cheek with his thumb.

“I feel the same way,” she replied and kissed him again. “I think dinner would have to wait.”

They didn’t have enough energy for another round so Harry proposed a warm bath. Y/N joked about how this wouldn’t be possible if they were at her place, because she was too poor and stingy to take a bath after a shower.

“You’re spoiling me,” she told him while sitting between his legs in the bathtub, her back against his chest, her head on his shoulder.

“I love spoiling you,” he whispered into her ear as she relaxed her body under the warm water and closed her eyes, allowing his hands to freely roam across her chest and fondle her breasts.

“I love you spoiling me,” she said. “I love you.”

“I love you, too. You’re my whole world.” He kissed her cheek. Even though he’d been touching her everywhere since they got into this position, it was those words that pulled the trigger. Lips parted, she sat up slightly to sneak her hand between them and grab his cock, causing him to gasp. He was so hard as she started stroking him slowly, but he took her wrist and pulled her hand away.

“Bambi, I can’t again.”

She could tell he didn’t mean it. “Why not?”

“We cannot keep delaying dinner. You need to eat my spaghetti.” He flashed a smile when she tilted her head, pouting at him. “We’re only gonna stay here for five more minutes, okay?”

“Fine.” She blew out her cheeks and turned her head straight. “Will you still spoil me even when I’m old?”

“Of course,” he replied, too familiar with her random questions to wonder why she’d asked.

“What about...when we have babies? You’re gonna spoil the babies.”

Though she wasn’t looking, she could sense the startlement from his short pause. He hugged her waist and pulled her closer to his chest. “You only mention the possibility of us getting married and having kids when you’re jealous of our future kids.”

She chuckled at the remark. “I’m terrible, aren’t I?”

He shook his head and kissed her cheek once more. “No, not even close.”

Y/N had no idea what had gotten into her. She suddenly felt a weird sensation in the pit of her stomach which quickly spread all over her body. She tried to blink back the tears, but this time it was no use.

“Hey, what’s the matter?”

His question was what caused them to spill.

“I’m sorry, Harry,” she sobbed into her palm, and now that she’d started crying she couldn’t stop.

Terrified, he peered over her shoulder to look at her face, his voice brittle. “W-What is it, baby? Why...why are you crying?”

She whimpered and lifted her hands from under the water to wipe her cheeks, only to get them wetter. Harry waited patiently, his chest heaving against her back. She knew he wouldn’t pressure her into giving him an answer; he just needed to know if she was okay, or if he’d done something wrong that had made her cry. Whenever she was sad, his first guess would always be whether he’d made a mistake. He’d made several mistakes in the past, so he always tried to be careful. She loved that about him.

Steadying her breathing, she pulled herself together and rotated to sit face to face with him. He looked into her eyes, his jaw set. She could sense his anxiety as he seemed to be piecing together all the events tonight that led up to this moment to figure out what had gone wrong. She had to tell him the truth.

And so she did. She told him about her finding out about Blake and Laura, about her confronting Blake, about Blake telling her he still loved her and her turning him down, about her rushing to Laura’s flat to find the poor woman half-alive on the floor, about taking Laura to the hospital – she stopped there and skipped to her meeting him outside, because she’d promised to leave the rest for Isaac and Gemma to tell him. Of course, she’d also confessed that she’d thought he’d had something to do with Laura, which was the main reason she’d cried. She hadn’t trusted him as much as she’d wanted to.

Once she finished, he released a long exhalation, which was his way of saying ‘wow, that was a lot’. He placed his elbow on the rim of the tub and propped his head on his hand, staring distantly right through her. Her bottom lip quivered as she squeezed his other hand and brought it to her chest, lacing their fingers together.

“I’m very sorry. I’m sorry I lied to you and I’m sorry I thought it was you. If you’re mad at me, I completely understand.”

“No, kid.” He rubbed his hand over his face and shoved it into his damp curls. “It’s just...a lot to take in.”

“So you forgive me?” she cautioned.

“I wasn’t mad at you in the first place,” he laughed, probably to calm her nerves. “I can’t blame you for thinking I had something to do with it, since I’d always go out of my way to make sure you’re happy. But I promised you I wouldn’t interfere with your career anymore.”

She nodded, her brows drawn together.

“Hey, kid, it’s all right,” he said, taking her arms. “Come here.”

She got on his lap, legs wrapped around his waist, arms around his neck. “I mean,” he began, “I’m angry, but not at you. I just want to kick that kid’s arse.” She laughed between sniffles. “But of course, it’s up to you.”

“I’ll deal with him,” she said.

He cocked his head to the side to study her face. “You’ll kick his arse?”

She snorted at how hopeful he seemed. “Depends on how I feel tomorrow.”

“What about Laura?”

“I’ll talk to her tomorrow, too.”

“Okay,” was all he said before changing the subject back to spaghetti.

After dinner, Y/N stayed to clean up while Harry took their laundry to the laundry room. He’d left his phone on the counter and it kept buzzing with new texts every few seconds; those were probably from Jeff or the other people Harry worked with. He was a busy man, the kind of busy Y/N had never seen in anyone else. When they were together, he would put his phone on Do Not Disturb, but he never did when he was alone. He’d probably forgotten tonight.

She was just about to it up to silence the notifications when his phone buzzed in her hand and another text popped up.

Gemma: We’re so sorry. Please call me back as soon as you’re ready to talk.

A chill rushed down her spine and she hurriedly put down the phone and stumbled back. What did it mean? Had Gemma and Isaac already spoken to him? So he knew all this time? What hadn’t he said anything?

“Bambi, would you like this shirt or this shirt?”

Her head snapped to the side when she heard his voice from the doorway. He was holding up two of his shirts which he knew she loved to wear. She parted her lips but no word got out, and it was just enough for him to realize something was off. He squinted his eyes, confused, then the buzzing of his phone seized his attention. He stole another glance at her before marching over to the counter and peering down at the text.

“You know the truth?” she asked.

He slowly turned, put the shirts on the counter and leaned back against it, crossing his arms. The previous cheerfulness was nowhere to be found on his face as his forehead creased and his lips formed a hard line. “I ran into Isaac and Gemma outside the hospital,” he conceded, staring at his feet. “I know about Winton and Emilia, too.”

She folded her arms across her chest and began to consider him. Realization sank in, and it occurred to her that his chill attitude tonight had only been an act.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she questioned in hushed tones as if she didn’t want him to hear it. But he did, and his eyes found hers again.

“You’d had a rough day. I didn’t want to drag you into this.” He raked his fingers through his hair and huffed. “They told me you already knew…”

Y/N had specifically told Isaac and Gemma not to tell Harry until tomorrow, but she supposed they hadn’t got a choice when they’d run into him. If they had acted like nothing had been wrong and told him tomorrow that something had been wrong, then it would only get worse.

“How are you feeling?” she inquired after a long pause.

He lifted his shoulders, looking surprisingly impassive. “I wasn’t as shocked as I thought I’d be. I guess...I always had a feeling that they had something to hide. All four of them.” He meant Isaac, Gemma, Winton, and Emilia. “I don’t really know how to feel about Isaac and Gemma. Maybe I’m mad at them because they hid it from me, but I understand why they did it. I just needed some time to...be okay with it...I guess? Winton and Emilia, however...”

It was the first time she’d heard him call his dad Winton. Her heart cracked. She couldn’t imagine what it must be for him. How had he reacted when he’d heard the news? Had he been in denial? Or had he believed it right away? Had he cried? God, she didn’t want to think about him crying. She couldn’t stand it.

Closing the distance between them, she circled her arms around his waist and he accepted her embrace as an instinct.

“I’m so sorry. People could be cruel,” she said into his shirt.

He kissed the top of her head and rested his chin on it, holding her tighter. “I don’t regret helping them. I just regret believing he’d loved me and Gem, even just a little bit.” Then he took her shoulders and pushed her away, his lips quirked into a reassuring smile. “Let’s not talk about this tonight,” he said. “I only want to focus on you.”

She gave a firm nod, grabbed his face and brought his lips down upon hers. If her kisses could make him forget about everything else, she would never stop kissing him.

Later that night, they made love again in his bed and fell asleep. It was early in the morning when she woke and found herself alone. She thought he’d gone to get some water, but as she lay and stared into the darkness, waiting and waiting, and he didn’t come back, she began to think something had gone wrong. And so she pushed herself out of bed, put on his t-shirt and padded down the hall to his library, where she assumed he might be.

There she found him, sitting in his armchair and gazing at the night sky through the floor-to-ceiling windows. The silence was strangely frightening.

“Harry?”

Her voice made him jump. His head turned and he stared at her with his eyes glossy and his face twisted. She moistened her dry lips, her stomach triple-knotted when he dropped his hand into the cradle of his arms. She sauntered across the room to take a seat on the arm of the chair so he could hug her waist and bury his face into her chest.

She held him while he cried.

The next morning, Y/N left the house when Harry was still asleep because she had an essay exam. She thought she did an okay job. It could have been better if she hadn’t got distracted by the thoughts about last night and early this morning. Still, she was never the kind of person who kept dwelling on an exam once she’d handed it in. On her way to another class, she got a text message from Harry wishing her good luck. He’d sent it before she’d entered the exam room, but she’d put her phone on airplane mode and only received it just now. She told him she’d just finished it and that she’d call him later at lunch.

As she walked across the courtyard, a group of girls sitting in the shade pointed at her and whispered something to each other. If she was in a good mood, she’d wave at them and smile (Kill them with kindness, Harry always said). If she was feeling neutral, she’d turn a blind eye and walk straight ahead. Today, she was in a bad mood, so she stopped and called out, “Take a picture. It lasts longer.”

The girls all turned away, embarrassed and acting like they hadn’t been snickering about her just a second ago. Whatever, she thought and continued walking.

The rest of the day passed rather briskly. She attended classes with trips to and from the library in between. Last year, she would go to her favourite spot on the courtyard to write and listen to music, but since the whole world had discovered about her relationship with Harry, she couldn’t stand the thoughts of how many eyes would be assessing her when she was alone and distracted. At least people wouldn’t talk so loudly in the library, which made it easier for her to pretend nobody gave a shit about her.

On the Uber ride to the hospital, she got a text from Alice asking if she was coming back to the bookshop because Eddie missed her even though he would never admit it. She’d taken two weeks off to work on her manuscript. It sounded like a stupid thing to do – giving up on present income for unearned profit, though she believed it’d been necessary. After all, she wasn’t going to spend the rest of her life working in a bookshop. She texted Alice back that she’d be back on Monday next week. Alice responded with the dancing girl and confetti emoji.

Earlier today, Y/N had called Laura’s assistant to ask about Laura. Marie (Y/N kept forgetting her name) had said that Laura had got better and would be able to leave the hospital in two days. It was good news for Laura, and also Y/N. On one hand, she cared about Laura’s wellbeing as they were no longer just agent and client. On the other hand, Laura was still responsible for Y/N’s career, which she wouldn’t give up just because a stupid man had tried to intervene. Talented or privileged, she was getting that damn book deal.

“Y/N!” Marie’s eyes gleamed when Y/N entered the room. Laura was lying in bed wearing a hospital gown, a lazy smile stretched her chapped lips as she fixed her gaze on Y/N. Marie got up and quickly told Y/N, “Can you stay here with Miss Hilfgard? I’m going to fetch coffee for all of us.”

“I don’t drink coffee,” Y/N said, turning to Laura. “Are you...allowed to drink caffeine?”

“I don’t know. I don’t really want coffee anyway,” she said and told her assistant, “You get yourself a coffee, Marie. I’ll chat with Y/N for a bit.”

“Yes, ma’am!” Marie brightened like a happy schoolgirl and disappeared into the hallway. The door was closed, and Y/N took a seat in the chair beside the bed.

“So…” she trailed off, “How are you?”

“I’m good. Last night wasn’t the first time I’d got sent to the hospital for binge-drinking,” she confessed.

Y/N’s eyes grew wide. “Really?”

“Yeah. I was a rebel back in Uni. When I said I was a Yale student, nobody would believe me.”

Right. Laura had gone to Yale. Blake also went to Yale. Y/N felt a sudden urge to ask if that was how they knew each other in the first place, but she stopped herself at once. She must not bring up Blake to Laura ever again.

“I don’t remember everything I said to you yesterday, but I assume it was...enough...” she trailed off, her eyelids drooped as she smiled. “I don’t want you to think it would change anything between us. You and me. I still want to work with you.”

Y/N licked her lips and clenched her jaw. “Did you contact me because he told you to?”

“No, God, Y/N!” Laura cackled and patted Y/N’s knee as if she’d just told the funniest joke. “I actually refused to read your manuscript because Blake seemed so fond of you,” Laura said, sounding amused. “But then I felt like it wouldn’t be fair to turn you down without having actually read it, so I gave it a chance. And I had to contact you right away.”

Y/N breathed out a laugh as her chest expanded with relief. However, sadness suddenly clouded Laura’s features. Her voice dropped. “I’m sorry you had to see me like that. I completely understand if you don’t want to work with me anymore.”

“Are you kidding? Of course I want to continue working with you,” Y/N retorted. “I mean, you basically saved my life. Okay, it may sound a bit dramatic but...I was gonna give up on writing, but you gave me hope again. In a way, you saved my life.”

When Laura laughed, Y/N wasn’t sure if it was because she found what Y/N had said funny or she was genuinely happy to hear it. Either way, Y/N didn’t regret saying it out loud.

“Well, you literally saved my life so...we’re even?” Laura offered her hand, and Y/N reached out to shake it, but then she withdrew quickly.

“Actually, you still owe me a book deal.”

“Yes, I do.” Laura grinned, her hand still extended, waiting for Y/N’s. “I already rescheduled the meeting with the publishers. Yes, people would have to fight for your book, Y/N.”

There was something so businesslike in the way she said it. Smiling from ear to ear, Y/N took her hand and gave a firm shake. This already felt like a better beginning.

Harry was just about to hit the indoor gym when the doorbell rang, echoing through his mansion. He hurriedly picked up his phone from the bedside table to see a couple of new texts and missed calls from Gemma and Isaac. Could it be them? Fuck. He didn’t want this attention at all. Why couldn’t they just let him cool off in peace?

Winton and Emilia would probably blow up his phone, too, if he hadn’t already blocked their numbers. He didn’t want to speak to them ever again, although it made him feel like a coward. With Gemma and Isaac, he was only avoiding them because he’d lose his mind and say something hurtful. He loved them, but this was really weird, especially when Isaac had dated Harry’s girl and Gemma had been crying about Asher not so long ago. Harry didn’t even dare to think about the possibility of his sister cheating on Asher behind Asher’s back. Not because he cared about Asher’s feelings or whatsoever. But because after all the drama between him, Y/N, Isaac, and Ruby, he knew better than anyone a love-triangle wouldn’t make anyone happy.

The doorbell sounded again when he careened downstairs, not sure if he should answer the door. What would he do if it was one of those four? Would he ask them to leave? Or would he invite them in so they could talk it out like adults? He was never good at confrontation. Y/N had constantly criticized him for it even though she was only a bit better than him. If something is bound to happen, the more you avoid it, the worse it gets, she’d said. He should probably take her advice and let whatever was going to happen happen.

Heart thumping inside his chest, he hastened to check the front door security camera, and sagged in relief when he saw Y/N waiting outside. Guess he wasn’t ready to take her advice after all.

But wait, why did she bring her suitcase? Was she in trouble? Had Blake done something to her? His speculations made his blood boil, and he hurriedly came to the door. He swung it open and was met with a giggly Y/N, who threw her arms around his neck and kissed him twice on the cheek.

“Sorry I forgot my key,” she said and wiped her lip gloss off his face with her thumb

“Are you going somewhere?” He nodded his head toward her pink suitcase. When her smile dropped, he feared he’d said something wrong.

“Here, Harry.” She aggressively pointed a finger to her feet. “I’m going here.”

Bemused, he arched an eyebrow. She mimicked his reaction, and they ended up having a staring contest right at his front door. As always, she was the first to give in.

“I’m moving in with you.”

“What?” His jaw fell slack as he blinked rapidly. “Are you...sure? What...what made you change your mind?”

Half of him was over the moon for how serious she looked when she said it. The other half of him was afraid she’d only made this decision just so she could avoid Blake like he’d been doing with Gemma and Isaac. If they were his neighbour, he would probably just move to a different house. Y/N didn’t have a house in every city, so he guessed his place was one of her few options.

“If you think I’m doing this because of Blake, I’ll be very disappointed.”

He swallowed hard, shaking his head. He should have known she could sometimes read his mind. “N-No...that’s not–”

“And I’m not doing this for you, either,” she interrupted, her forehead creased and her eyes piercing at him. At this point, he was very confused and nervous; the suspense was killing him.

“I’m doing this because of me,” she said at last. “The reason I was hesitant to give you an answer was because I was uncertain about myself. I didn’t want to be dependent on you, and I was afraid that if we ever...broke up, I’d be disoriented and have nowhere to go. But I’ve learned a few things about trust, which made me realize that it was okay to need someone sometimes. You’re the only person I want to be with today, tomorrow, and for the rest of my life so...I want to try this with you. I’m not gonna–I’m not gonna leave my flat but...I would like to have...a drawer at your place...And we could, you know, try to see where this–”

He didn’t let her finish. He couldn’t. He lurched forward, grabbed her face and pressed his lips against hers. She let out a startled gasp but immediately returned the action. They kissed as if their lives depended on it. If they were in public, people would be hollering and whistling like one of those scenes in rom-coms which made Y/N cringe every time. When they broke apart, they’d smeared her lip gloss, but from the beam on her face, Harry knew she was too happy to care.

“That was rude. You interrupted me,” she whispered, hands in his hair as their forehead glued together.

“Sorry.” He held her hips and pecked the corner of her mouth. “Did you write that speech before coming here?”

“I did,” she sounded serious because he seriously believed she had written it down. As mentioned before, Y/N wasn’t good at confrontation, either. It was easier for her to express her thoughts through written words.

“Are you gonna carry my luggage to your room or what?” she asked and suddenly covered her mouth as if she’d said something offensive. He squinted his eyes, looking at her funny. “I should start calling it our room, right?”

His shoulders rounded as he exhaled. Beaming, he ruffled her hair and picked up her suitcase. “Let’s go to our room before I fuck you on our doorsteps.”

“Hmm. That should be our new tradition. Welcome home fuck on the doorsteps.” She flipped her hair over her shoulder and winked extravagantly at him before strutting inside. He felt his smile grow so big it took over his entire face.

#my girl series #harry styles smut #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #harry styles writing #harry styles series #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles dirty imagine #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #harry styles #harry styles fanfics #harry styles imagines #older!harry #actor!harry

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thevictorious · 3 years

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but death she is cunning, and clever as hell

Name: Fava Thornewood

Age: 19

Gender: Cis female

Sexuality: Pansexual

District: Twelve

Title: (Co-)Victor of the 74th Hunger Games

and she’ll eat you alive

tw: death, murder, killing, & injury

The people of Twelve were scarcely able to survive. Far, far away from the Capitol, the coal miners and their families starved while the rich Capitolites devoured feasts.

The Thornewood family was no exception. Collis stepped into the mines day after day, straining in the dark, with the hopes of keeping his family alive for just one more day. But the truth of it was, that the Thornewood family was as happy as anybody in Twelve could be. Perhaps the children were hungry and and their clothes didn’t fit, but they were loved and cared for. Unlike so many children in their district, their faces were never dirty. They made the very best of their horrid situation.

They were tight knit. Collis and Gemma tended to the fire while their three children snuggled up to them, and listened to the stories of their ancestors. Collis, Fava remembers fondly, was an excellent storyteller.

Hell, she admired Collis in everything that he did. She wanted to grow up to be like her father, strong and capable but capable of great kindness and grace. He was truly her hero.

And, perhaps most importantly, Collis’ work kept the family from starving. They were hungry, and never had quite enough to eat, but there was always food on the table. From time to time, he’d even bring Fava to the Seam to shop for a little treat for her and the twins. Beautiful but vanished trinkets called to her, food from the forest piqued her interest, and she took special pleasure in visiting this place where her father seemed so well loved. People here liked him too. They had good taste.

The news came one afternoon while Fava was in school.

At just eleven years old, she’d lost her hero. His stories, his rough hands, his warm smile, had been buried in the mines. There was no body, no funeral, no money.

Collis Thornewood hadn’t been the only casualty either. An accidental blast had caused the mineshaft to crumble, entombing nearly a dozen miners in the darkness. The people of Twelve, to their credit, did the best that they could to keep the families sustained. They brought over whatever food they could spare, clothing, and firewood, but after a few weeks they could not continue these donations.

What remained of the Thornewood family was entirely on its own.

Gemma tried to remain strong for her children, she kept a brave face when she thought that they were not looking, but crumbled just as quickly. The twins, Grace and Burnet, were equally stunned. They were so little, so heartbroken, and Fava saw her own mourning reflected in their faces.

Still, they had little choice but to move on.

Fava and the twins went to school, and her mother tried to make ends meet as a seamstress. But their efforts were not enough… The family was starving. She could see it in her siblings’ faces, in her mother’s hollowed eyes. They could not possibly make it through this.

Just a year after Collis had died, it seemed that the family would die with him. And then Hudson stepped in. She’d never payed Hudson much mind in school. They were kind and gentle, but never someone she’d been close to, so she could scarcely believe when they had gone out of their way to give her food. It wasn’t much, but it was something. She could take this meal to her family and they could survive another day.

Of course, prideful as Fava was, she was rather embarrassed. But she would not turn down the gift, not if it meant helping her family. She never forgot Hudson’s kindness.

A few weeks later, Fava was awoken by a nightmare and hunger pangs. She thought back on those happy days with her father and the Seam. People there were tough, just as he one was, but they were kind. More importantly, she thought of the food that they sold at their stalls. Animals from the forests…

Perhaps she could provide for her family in the same way.

She ventured out into the forests the next day, slipping through a hole in the fence, and she quickly ran into a neighbor boy. Raab was tall and handsome, his laughter was infectious, but she’d never expected to find him out here. The chance meeting had resulted in a friendship. In time, Raab taught her to make a bow and arrow and how to shoot. He taught her to build traps and catch game. The time that they spent together only brought them closer.

In time, she became a fantastic hunter. Driven by her family’s need, she’d finally found how she could keep them alive. And the extra that she had? She sold in the Seam. The people there smiled warmly at her, just as they did her father.

For years, it went on like that. She and Raab spent long days hunting together, feeding their families as best they could. They earned just enough money to keep their loved ones fed and usually evaded capture. But hardship, be it her father’s death or her hunting, had drained Fava of her warmth. She was every bit as strong and capable and graceful, but she did not have Collis’ kindness.

Not unless she was spending time with her younger siblings. She could never be harsh with them.

At age eighteen, the same year as the twins’ first reaping, Fava tried to reassure them that they would not be chosen. She and Raab, however… It was all that Fava could to to keep her expression stony and calm. She had terrible feeling about the Reaping, but it turned out so much worse than she’d ever anticipated.

The escort smiled as their hand swirled elegantly in the glass sphere, and she drew out a piece of paper. Fava held her breath, only to hear her sister’s name. “Grace Thornewood!”

For a moment there was silence, she was so startled that Fava forgot to breathe. No. No. How could this happen? Without thinking, she charged forward to grab hold of her sister. She would not let Grace go. As the Peacekeepers tried to pull her away, she spoke the words that she’d never imagined saying aloud “I volunteer as tribute.”

Grace and Burnet were safe, at least for now.

What’s worse, Hudson joined her on stage just moments later. She had not forgotten their kindness, the debt that she owed them, and she burned with embarrassment. Would they tell all of Panem how desperate she’d been? Or worse, would they expect her to give up her life for theirs? After all, they’d saved her once.

For days, she tried to pay as little attention to Hudson as she possibly could, tried to push them out of her mind. They were unimportant. All that mattered was that she needed to return home to her siblings, to her mother, so that she could continue to support them. She couldn’t stand the idea that they’d starve.

But in time, she found herself warming to Hudson a bit. They were kind, gentle even, and she helped them when she could in the training center. She had not expected that romance would be central to their survival.

For the most part, her games were something of a blur. She did her very best to do as Griffin said, staying away from the Cornucopia, and she put her survival skills in the forests to use. Maybe, just maybe, she could survive this.

The Games lasted for weeks, testing her mettle and intelligence and strength. Oh, and how Fava suffered. She’d managed to trap one of the careers in a snare, but as she approached the Career she was stabbed. Though she finished them off soon after, and wielded the knife to her advantage, the injury plagued her for the remained of the Games.

From then on, she used snares and her knife as her primary weapon. Trapping tributes one by one, until at last she trapped a young man from two who’d gotten his hands on a bow and arrow. At last, she was in fighting force. No more did she need to hide away in the shadows, but she could show herself off as the competitor she was.

Fava was relentless, keeping to herself save for a brief brush with other tributes, but it was only when she caught a glimpse of Hudson that she paused. In the end, they would have to die, they could not both live through this, but she didn’t have it in her heart to kill them. Someone else would have to finish the job.

Soon after, an announcement was made. Two tributes could leave the Games together, if only they were from the same district. She found Hudson soon after, and the pair watched each other’s backs as the number of tributes dwindled further and further. At Griffin’s encouragement, the pair struck up a romance. Hudson seemed to be far better at it than Fava, but she would do damn near anything to survive. Love was merely a tool to get what she wanted.

In the end, after a brutal fight with a pair of career tributes from Four, they were victorious. They’d made it to the end. But the previous change was soon reversed, and Fava realized that she would have to kill Hudson.

She thought of going home, of seeing Burnet and Grace again, but to leave them? Perhaps there was another way…

Fava gathered a handful Nightlock berries, poured some into Hudson’s hands and shared her plan. The Capitol would have no victor at all. Perhaps, she thought, perhaps she could still make this work. Fava’s bet had paid off. Just as quickly as the ruling had been reversed, the Gamemakers allowed them both to survive, and they were crowned victors. Two!

But she knew that it would not be so easy. President Snow and his wicked entourage would not allow her and Hudson to live in peace. Unfortunately for Fava, she doesn’t have any idea just how terrible their punishment will be.

#biography .

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paperclipninja · 5 years

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Younger post-ep ramble 6x10

Ok, so this week’s episode, ‘It’s All About The Money, Honey’ delivered two of my season 6 wish list items: Kelsey and Charles working together as a supportive team and really getting to see their dynamic and relationship (I sometimes forget that they have a whole history BL - Before Liza) and Liza and Charles getting drunk and handsy at a bar. I’m not even kidding, when I wrote my season 6 wish list I word for word wrote that. So thank you for those Alison Brown, I am simple folk and I am happy. I would also like to show my appreciation for a number of throwbacks that were nice little nuggets from previous seasons.

I don’t know whether it was deliberate or not, but this ep seemed to really play very obvious set ups, where you could see what was coming and kind of hoped it’d play out differently because eek! but then nope. I have no idea if this approach has a name in screenwriting, it was sort of like set-up slapstick, for absolute lack of any better description (I’m sure ‘eek!’ is a technical term somewhere…). I am writing much of this on a plane on my way to holiday time (yay), which may mean nothing or something but I think my point is that I may miss a few bits and pieces here and there. There’s much to discuss so let’s do this!

After their declarations of love last week, this episode opens with Zane, a towel, his abs and Kelsey chatting about her trip to Chicago to ‘beg for money’, which nicely sets up a few themes for the ep. The issue of not being taken seriously as a woman in business is quickly flagged, along with the appropriate foreshadowing of future faux pas with Zane’s reassurance that Kelsey will get their attention being the only woman in the room (as he very unsubtly opens her shirt while staring at her chest) and Kelsey’s quip that ‘I guess I have more assets than you’ (boobs, she means her boobs ICYMI).

Liza and Charles are also saying their farewells, with Charles continuing to be supportive boyfriend no. 1 as he tells Liza to stop feeling guilty before reassuring her that everything is going to be fine, which we all know means it absolutely will not be. I’d like to officially welcome back the ‘miss you’ texts because a) they’re adorable and b) I do love a good text distraction as a giant poster of a woman and her ex goes past on the side of a bus just when that woman is floating along blissfully thinking of her current bf. As she passes another poster, it’s only a matter of time until Liza comes face to face with, well, her face. On the side of a building. Eek! indeed.

Naturally Liza’s first instinct is to call Kelsey, who is at the airport with Charles, to ask her to stop him from seeing the ad until she has the chance to speak to him. I feel like a phone call to Charles instead in that moment would’ve sorted it all pretty quickly, but then we would’ve missed out on his smile at the pic of Liza that comes up on Kelsey’s phone and the funniest moment of the episode, Kelsey’s sudden onset escalator phobia (‘I don’t like them, they’re weird’ LOL). The absolute highlight of this episode for me was seeing Kelsey and Charles working together. From the moment she’s filling him in on the investors they’re meeting with because she’s done her research to Charles saying that she can do the job without investors sticking their noses in (Bryce reference noted, what a dud) to Kelsey redirecting him to the elevator and him confused but obliging without question, their dynamic from the get go was fab and a lovely build on last week’s ep.

Meanwhile, luckily for Liza Lauren is at work, which is really lucky for all of us because Lauren now only referring to Diana as Diva and Diana clearly very ok with it is all I’ve ever wanted and my mind is filling in all the blanks about what the two of them would have been sitting there talking about while waiting to see if the people they sent to catch their food return (this line = yes Diva). I loved Lauren’s 'here?’ when Liza asks if she can talk to her (then 'so here, ok’ as she sits down lol) because it certainly feels as though Lauren is trying to keep the moment about Diana and the excitement of getting the appointment at Kleinfeld and is reluctant to let Liza make it all about her (which she of course does and Diana calls her out on it and I am here for it every day of the week).

Liza’s obsessive focus on the ad campaign and the need to speak to Charles about it really consumes her for the entire episode and blinds her to the needs of any other characters in way that seems uncharacteristic, but is also quite on brand considering some of the self-absorbed moments we’ve seen from her throughout the series. I guess it just seems uncharacteristic for season 6 Liza (or at least my understanding and construction of this character at this point), with a lie no longer in play and able to live her life honestly, as she’s been hoping to do since season one. I’m unsure whether this fixation and her consequent behaviour was meant to be funny or highlight the point that clearly there is more to the poster than it just being about clothes (we get it, there are FEELINGS), but I have to say that I really struggled with it considering Liza’s journey to where she is now and also this show’s usual tendency to be more nuanced.

Despite Liza’s persistence with Lauren re: Infinitely 21 at Kleinfeld (my concern that Lauren was harbouring some ill feeling towards Liza following the lie reveal was quashed when she revealed that she’d phoned Shelly to say Liza was uncomfortable with the ad. I mean, ‘I left a voicemail for you!’ is as ‘I’ve got your back’ as it comes), we were given a delightful moment between Diana and Liza as they reminisced about their first weddings and it’s conversations like this that I would like to see many more of. These two talking as women who have shared life experience is everything. It is then revealed that Infinitely 21’s campaign is going national which leads Liza to bail on the bride to frantically make a dash to Chicago, but my main takeaway from this scene is that Diana is going to have the wedding celebration she damn well deserves and quite frankly, this Trout/DeLuca “event of the year” cannot come fast enough.

Turns out Liza is not the only one getting on a big jet plane, as Claire fills Josh in on the amazing promotion to Senior Project Manager she’s been offered at Google, which will set Gemma up nicely. The only catch is, it’s in LA. Josh is understandably upset and as Claire assures him they’ll figure it out, he also spots the Infinitely 21 poster for the first time, because the only thing better than finding out your daughter might be moving across the country is being plastered all over the city in a pic with your ex who you’re still in love with. One of my favourite friendships on this show is that between Maggie and Josh, so I enjoyed seeing him go to Maggie to talk over the revelations of the morning (what a morning!). You’ve gotta love Maggie’s, ‘it’s not a sign’ to snap Josh out of the wallowing (and Josh’s ‘it’s literally a sign’, ha), her encouraging him to fight for Gemma and use the Infinitely 21 success to his advantage was a solid suggestion (though I am a little disappointed that Maggie didn’t ask if he’d consider moving to LA as one possible option to keep Gemma in his life or at least throw it out there on one of her famous Maggie ‘these are your options’ lists).

Josh meets with Shelly, who makes zero attempt to hide her thirst and it’s pretty darn hilarious and I actually love this entire interaction. Josh’s idea of franchising Inkburg, mentioned at the retreat in episode 6, remerges in the form of a collaboration with Infinitely 21 (Retail-tainment). Inkburg Midtown would offer a set of flash pieces exclusive to Infinitely 21, it is all very well pitched and I like seeing Josh in business mode because he’s clearly pretty decent at it after all these years, but not as much as Shelly likes it and him and everything which leads to her basically groping him in store (‘I’m a hugger’, yeah sure Shel). I have to believe that Josh’s move to establish the partnership with Infinitely 21 is so that he has clout to replicate the idea in LA and establish a national presence if he wants, rather than to try and keep Claire in New York by saying he can support her financially (unless we discover that is what Claire actually wants). Josh has been written as way too woke to do something to sabotage the career of the mother of his child, especially considering his experience with Liza and knowing what she went through. I, for one, will watch this space.

Another space I have watched closely is Kelsey’s, especially as she’s grappled with the role of publisher and really found her feet in the last couple of episodes. Her brilliant boss mode continued this week and seeing Kelsey so nervous before the pitch meeting, but still keeping her level head even after discovering Jacobs was the only shot at keeping the company alive, demonstrated again how much she has grown. From the moment Jeffrey and Ennis greet Kelsey and Charles, and by greet I mean look straight through Kelsey at Charles, you just know that this is going to be a tough gig for Kels. The men very obviously talk only to Charles, patronise Kelsey asking 'do you even know what those [precious metals] are?’, ugh it’s all so gross but also a bit too real and familiar. I love that Charles makes a point of saying 'we’ and emphasising that they are a team and it is obvious he is not comfortable that even when Kelsey is speaking they still look at and talk to him. Seeing Kelsey interject confidently and intelligently (although when she tells that room of suits to follow her on Insta it was a definite Eek! moment) was so satisfying, she read the room, commanded it pay attention and it did. Charles is proud and impressed and lets her hold the floor (as he should but it was great to see) and I could legit watch a whole series with these two as kick-ass business partners.

Just when I thought my new fave dynamic duo couldn’t have any more golden moments, Kelsey and Charles getting celebratory drinks happened. After last season saw a lot of tension between these two characters, seeing this relationship shift to one of mentor/mentee that is truly symbiotic (I have no doubt that Charles is learning as much from Kelsey as she is from him), where Kelsey still needs reassurance about how the business world works and Charles expresses his eternal gratitude for her amazing work…seriously, did I mention how much I love this? It is an actual dream.

Of course it is just after a commemorative glass clinking moment that Liza arrives, much to the elation of Charles (‘this day just keeps getting better and better’, ugh) and wariness of Kelsey, who immediately questions Liza’s real reason for being there. Upon hearing that the Infinitely 21 campaign (yes, we’re still talking about that) has gone national so Liza came to speak to Charles, Kelsey looks at her with the same ‘you have lost the plot’ look I had on my face, before telling her, ‘not now…we are celebrating’. Liza agrees as smitten, happy Charles looks over but this high school drama-esque carry on is really a bit much at this point. All I can say is thank goodness for the scene that followed, because it very quickly made me forget that I was getting annoyed.

First we get the revelation that Liza made out with Chrissie Hart on Shelter Island, which was also the last time we saw Charles and Liza drunk together but they were also not actually together, so it was very much that moment that sparked my need to see them out and drinking again some time. So yes, sharing great stories as they all sit around, check, they are all so carefree and jovial and then Charles and Liza just start making out in front of third wheel Kelsey and I cannot and this is 100% the quality content that my trashbag heart lives for. But it is Liza and Charles bidding Kelsey goodnight when she says she’s heading back to her room, and Charles saying, ‘bye’ before turning to Liza with a soft, ‘hi’ that completely undoes me. Seriously, project this entire scene on loop on my tombstone for I. am. deceased.

Drunk Kelsey back in her room responding to Zane’s message with a boob shot = I am DYING again but for different reasons. Kelsey Lorraine indeed, Lauren seeing it on Insta stories is every kind of second hand mortification and poor Kelsey waking up and realising what she’s done is yikes (but lbh it’s also a little bit hilarious, special thanks to the messages left on her story: A tale of two titties, Nippy longstockings and my personal fave, Did you mean to post this? It’s Liz from the gym). Kelsey’s waking nightmare is contrasted by Liza waking up to her fantasy of her, Charles, coffee and paper (you and me both sista), but my fantasy is quickly shattered when Liza spots that pesky ad on the back of the newspaper and grabs it from Charles in a totally normal way, which he interprets to be playful and suggestive, until he realises it is not.

Liza’s reveal makes it pretty obvious that she’s feeling guilty but that is quickly interrupted by the frantic knocking of Kelsey, the bearer of more bad news. Liza greeting her with ‘he’s seen it’, countered by Kelsey’s horrified, ‘Charles saw my boobs?’ before Liza corrects her with, ‘no, the Infinitely 21 ad’ is just so mind boggling, I mean, what person in their right mind opens the door to their best friend’s incessant knocking and thinks ‘they must be beside themselves to find out if I told Charles yet?’ I get it, it’s consuming Liza because it’s dredging up feelings so that the triangle can be revived after lying dormant (presumed dead) the past two seasons, but Charles having to hear about Kelsey’s mistake (though Liza’s ‘you look good’ is v. funny), as well as process that Liza didn’t come to Chicago to surprise him and Kelsey at all just makes me pretty sad.

Kelsey continues to be impressive as she owns her screw up and humbly explains herself to the room full of gross men. I do love how they’ve been cast, so much brown fabric. Charles’, 'it’s just too much of a good thing…I mean Kelsey’s internet presence’, is awks af but he’s really trying to throw his support behind her. Ennis Jacobs asking Kelsey if she’s considered distancing herself from the Millennial brand (dude, she IS the Millennial brand) and saying they are still interested in investing if Charles is publisher made me want to scream for her, Charles’ assertion that 'she is a woman who has made nothing but smart decisions since she’s been in a position to make decisions’ met with the biggest decision Kelsey has made yet; stepping down as publisher.

I do see it, the juxtaposition of how a man embroiled in a scandal (publisher having an affair with a 28 year old assistant) is treated vs. a woman whose potentially scandalous error was accidental, that the ultimate ramifications for him are minimal because look, he’s now back where he was not that long ago (though I also see the mirroring of Charles having to step down due to the scandal and now Kelsey having to do the same…so maybe they’re just the ultimate tag team?). I am going to wait to see how the rest of this season plays out (on all fronts), but if at seasons end, Charles is publisher again, and it’s all basically as it once was, then what was the point of any of this beyond making that statement? I mean, there are a number of ways it could go, so I am interested to see what this means. I am just really heartbroken for Kelsey because in that moment, she put the need of the company ahead of her own ambition and I am also heartbroken because she really had FINALLY come into her own as publisher and I was excited to see what she would do next.

After the horrendous meeting, Liza is waiting for Charles to finish the conversation about the ad and Charles suggests that she fly back to NY with Kelsey, because ‘she needs you now’ (seriously, if Charles is in your corner he is IN your corner). I love that Charles knows what Liza flying to Chicago really means and calls her out on it, that he is not bothered by her past or relationship with Josh, it’s the fact she felt she had to get on a plane that makes him wonder if there is something to be worried about. Call me boring but I have always appreciated that these two have actual proper adult conversations and don’t avoid issues and this was no exception.

Charles puts it to Liza that ‘everyone has a past, but in order to have a future, you move on from it’, to which she responds that ‘other people live in the past in order to have a future’. Yes, Liza had to live a younger life in order to build a new future for herself but now that she has re-established her career and her real age is no longer a secret, is that what she wants to keep doing? I do believe Liza realises she isn’t being fair to Charles but I think we all know that even if her pledge not to see Josh anymore was genuine at the time, it is not going to be upheld and was probably a bit of an over-promise. But I do appreciate that Liza really is choosing Charles in that moment.

It’s the escalator ride (which is weirdly relatable for some reason) once Kelsey and Liza are back in New York, but neither want to go home, that shows that even if Liza does want to move forward, she is still stuck between these two worlds. I have to say, Kelsey losing her job and being publicly humiliated somehow being on par with a 42 year old woman feeling sad that she can’t be friends with an ex because she’s confused about her feelings is ridiculous and I personally feel like the final moments of this ep should have been focused squarely on Kelsey. I do agree with Liza that Kelsey will get it back though, that was the correct response.

The painfully longing glances at the giant poster of her and Josh can be taken as a letting go of the past and moving forward (time will tell) but it also undoubtedly indicates that Liza’s days of once again oscillating between these two men are very much on the horizon which is, to be frank, really disappointing at this point in a series. My biggest issue is the fact that we keep being told that this show is not about the triangle, it’s about the women and the friendships yet it’s constantly being made about the triangle. In always pulling the focus to the triangle this show is making it about the men, which is the very thing it so brilliantly admonishes society for doing.

While I am absolutely reserving all judgement until I see how the rest of this season unfolds, I have to believe that if the triangle does make a comeback, it is being dredged up again to bring it to a head once and for all, so that we can all move on and focus on the many far more compelling aspects that make up this wonderful show.

#youngertv #younger tv #ramble #review #younger season 6 #6x01 #liza miller #kelsey peters #charles brooks #diana trout #liza x charles #team charles

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ijustwant2write · 6 years

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The New Opie-Jax Teller x Reader (Part 2)

(GIF credit to @kylmatalvi)

Part 1

Masterlist

Summary: After finding out about the unexpected pregnancy, Jax and (Y/N) take everything into consideration, wondering if the new family member would really be a good idea; especially when (Y/N) is branded as the club presidents new play toy.

Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name

Warnings: Swearing, arguing

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Standing behind the bar of the empty clubhouse, I stared intensely at my stomach, wondering how much my body was going to change over the course of the next few months. Everyone knew how pregnancy worked more or less, but to experience it was a whole different thing. How was my pregnancy going to be? Would it be filled with me being sick almost every day? Having the biggest, swollen ankles the world had ever seen? Or would it be smoother, perhaps I would have one of those miracle pregnancies which all women are jealous about? Wait....where would Jax be in all of this? I didn’t know what his situation was at the moment, whether or not he had really called things off with Tara, or if he was still interested in the baby. The only people that knew were Chibs, Gemma, Jax and obviously Tara, I wasn’t sure how to break it to the others.

“So you’re gonna keep it?” Gemma asked as she took a seat at the bar.

My lips formed a tight line as I nodded.“Yeah. Jax wanted to keep it too. I just don’t know how everything is going to turn out.”

“That’s life for ya’. Planning to tell the others any time soon?”

“Yeah, just not sure how.”

“Might as well do it now, cause here they come.”

As they filed out of church, I couldn’t help but feel extremely nervous. It wasn’t my place to tell them without Jax, and we still had to talk through everything properly. They were all smiles as they spotted me, some leaning over the bar to hug and kiss me as I tried to mask the fear. Tig joined me behind the bar, grabbing shot glasses for everyone, pouring out the strongest tequila; standing by confused, I watched as the others grabbed them, all watching me. Shit, I couldn’t drink, what was I supposed to do?

“(Y/N), these shots are for you.” Tig started as everyone raised their shot glasses.

“Uh, why?” I asked, eyeing up Jax as he smirked at me.

“Did you really think you could keep a secret like that from us?”

“What secret-”

“They know (Y/N).” Jax explained.

“You told them without me?!”

“We forced him too, had to stick our noses in it.” Tig wrapped an arm around me.

“Well, what do you all think?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like, the situation we’re in.”

Jax sighed.“(Y/N), don’t-”

“No, I’m genuinely curious, what did you guys think when he told you?”

Bobby spoke up.“If you think we’re judging you then I’m a little disappointed in you. Who cares that it weren’t planned? You and Jax have been messing around since you were teenagers, it’s about time something brought you two together.”

“But Tara-”

“Stop stressing lass, it’s not good for the baby.” Chibs warned me.“Now are we toasting or what?”

Although I was happy that I had all these amazing people around me, I still felt awful about the entire situation. I had broken up a family (even if they were going through their own problems). The kids were going to be so confused, Tara would have a target on the back of my head for the rest of my life, and I actually had to sort out everything for this baby. Everything was happening too fast, nothing was being fixed yet, I couldn’t figure it out.

“Thought you would be out here.” I heard Jax as he approached me by Opie’s grave.

I looked up at him, hoping that he wasn’t going to tear me away from this place. Luckily he sat beside me, glancing at Opie’s gravestone.

“(Y/N), why would you ever think the guys would judge you?”

“I dunno. I guess I never imagined me doing anything like this. Always thought that I would have a clean slate, you know, not breaking up families.”

Jax tilted his bed back.“You didn’t do that, I did.”

“You can’t rule me out though. It’s not like we settled down together after you had a clean divorce and planned this baby! Speaking of which, are you even divorcing Tara?”

“Of course I am, why wouldn’t I?! And we’re already settling down, I’ve known you for my whole life! I know how to make you happy.”

“You’re not doing a good job of it now.” I snapped as I felt hot tears appear.

Jax just stared at me for a few seconds before nodding to himself.“(Y/N), are you worried about what Opie would think?”

“What?”

He wrapped an arm around me.“You’ve only just lost your brother and all of this shit has just been dumped on you. It’s a lot, but you gotta know that Opie would support you through whatever.”

“I know it’s just...I promised him that I would look after everyone and keep things calm, and so far I’ve done a terrible job.”

“You are not responsible for everyone, especially now.”

“I just want things to be the way they were. I want him back!”

“Me too, me too.” He held me close as I wailed, letting out the pent up tears and emotions; I blamed it on the hormones.“Do you still want to call him Opie?”

“If the baby is a he.” I sniffed, glad that he was trying to distract me.

“I’m staying with you tonight.”

“You don’t have to-”

“(Y/N), you’re my girl, I want to be with you.” He kissed my forehead sweetly.

“You’re really serious about this? You want this baby with me?”

“Yes. I’ll be there for every checkup, every time you crave something, every time you throw up your guts in the morning. I’m gonna be with you through it all.”

Weeks passed by, already leading me to my second trimester. Although I had felt symptoms from day one, seeing my bump made it all the more real. Everyone stayed true to their word and supported me, especially Jax. He had officially moved in with me, filing for a divorce with Tara alongside running the club. So much was happening around us, not all of it good either. Although Tara was adamant that she wanted Jax to stay away from her, she couldn’t deny him the right of seeing his children, especially since Abel wasn’t even her child. Today was one of those days, but Jax wasn’t home, having an emergency at the club; as I waddled over to the door, I could only imagine what sort of conversation would ensue.

“Hi.” I greeted trying to be civil.

“Hi.” Tara plainly replied.“The boys have their usual things, Abel has some reading homework though so that will have to be done.”

I nodded, smiling down at the boys as Abel dragged his younger brother into the house.“I’ll make sure that gets done. Thanks for dropping them off.”

“Yeah, is Jax here?”

Oh god, here we go.

“Uh, no. Just got a bit busy but he’ll be back soon.”

“I need to speak with him.”

“I’ll make sure he calls you.”

“No need. I can wait.”

“He might be a while.”

“All the more reason for me to stay, you’re a pregnant woman, it’s not good for you to be on your feet all day.”

She slipped past me, that annoying smirk showing on her face. Making herself at home, I unwillingly followed her to the living room, watching the boys struggle to turn on the TV. Tara beat me to it, taking the remote from them to turn on their cartoons.

“Must be stressful.” Tara started, following me to the kitchen. I was not about to argue in front of the kids.

“What?”

“You’re pregnant with the president of an outlaw biker gangs baby-”

“Well you would know what that feels like.”

She glared at me.“You’re also breaking up a family, causing problems for me and your brother just died.”

My eyes widened.“Excuse me?”

“It’s not good for you.”

“You can talk shit about anything, I don’t care if you spread the nastiest rumours about me, but you will never mention my brother again!”

She seemed like she regretted what she said, but tried to stand her ground.“We were fine until you slept with Jax.”

“Who are you kidding Tara? He came to me because you were arguing. He was done with the relationship a long time ago.”

“You are so lucky to be pregnant right now-”

“You and me both. But I don’t really want to be giving birth in prison.” I crossed my arms on top of my bump, waiting to see if she would snap back. When she didn’t, I spoke again.“Tara, I know what I’ve done. I never had any intention of doing this. But Jax has moved on, you need to as well. We’re gonna be seeing each other a lot because of Able and Thomas, so I suggest we get along somehow. Don’t let these kids grow up around this, especially mine.”

“I’ll talk to Jax later.” She stated, kissing the boys on their heads before leaving.

I watched her drive off from the living room window, hating the fact that she wanted to make this difficult. Jax had a lot to answer for when he came home, I couldn’t be under this much stress. Glancing back to Abel and Thomas, who were in a hypnotic trance with the TV, I prayed for an easy babysitting gig, their mom was enough work.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The third trimester.

I was almost there, so close, yet so far.

It only took four steps for me to be out of breath, I truly believed that I had the biggest baby in history. As Jax helped me into the passenger side of the car, I groaned as he struggled to put on my seat belt.

“The sooner he’s out, the better we’ll all be.”

Jax was trying not to laugh, knowing how angry I would be if I caught him doing so. He jogged to the drivers side, buckling himself in before hesitating.

“Jax?”

“I can’t believe we’re doing this.”

“What?”

“We’re having a baby.”

“Did it really take you until my eighth month to figure that out?”

“I was the same with Abel and Thomas. It never gets normal.”

“Well you can take as many night shifts to make it normal.”

I relied heavily on Jax as we approached Opie’s grave, having him lay down the flowers for me. I kissed my fingers, laying it on the gravestone tenderly.

“Well, we’re almost there Ope,” I started,“he’ll be coming soon.”

“Two more weeks.” Jax squeezed my hand.

“He must know that his name is Opie cause he’s been giving me trouble since day one.”

“Wish you were here to see it brother.”

“You would be an amazing uncle.”

“We’ll tell him all about you. Our Ope is gonna know everything about you.”

“And he’ll play with your kids, they’ll be close cousins that play and bicker with each other all the time.”

“Yeah and...babe you OK?”

My hand had shot to my stomach, a sharp pain erupting through me. I hadn’t felt anything like this before, and my instincts knew what was about to go down.

“Jax, we need to move!” I panicked, trying to take quick steps.

“Woah, slow down, is it happening?!”

“I think so and I am not breaking my waters on my brothers grave!”

We stumbled to the pathway away from all the graves. I let out a high pitched gasp as liquid shot down my legs, indicating that I was about to go into labour.

“Jax, he’s not supposed to come yet!”

“I know, I know, don’t panic!” Jax tried to stay calm.

“My overnight bag is at home, all the things I need-”

“Don’t worry about that, we just need to get you to a hospital!”

Jax sped down the roads, thinking he was on his bike as we rushed to the hospital. Not being able to speak (I was screaming and groaning in agony, no one else needed to hear that), I messaged family members rapidly, begging for someone to bring me my things. I hated that this was unorganised, I hated that I couldn’t plan this, why were babies so difficult?!

After going through the most painful, torturous hours of my life, I finally gave birth to my son, Opie. Jax was beside me for every moment, letting me crush every bone in his hand, having me shout and curse in his face before serenity reached us.

“Opie, he’s finally here.” Jax breathed as our baby was rested on my chest.

I started uncontrollably crying.“He’s here, he’s here and I already love him so much.”

“You’re named after one of the greatest people we ever knew, and I just know you’re gonna live up to that name.”

“You’re the new Opie, but we’ll never forget the old one.”

#jax teller #jax teller imagine #jax teller imagines #jax teller one shot #jax teller x reader #sons of anarchy #sons of anarchy imagine #sons of anarchy imagines #sons of anarchy one shot #sons of anarchy x reader #soa #soa imagine #soa imagines #soa x reader #soa one shot

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bookenders · 5 years

Text

11/11/11 Tag Game: Round... uh... 5, 6, & 7?

I got tagged by a bunch of people ( @quilloftheclouds is this how your 77 question one felt??) so here are a bunch of answers! I think this is the most I’ve ever talked about myself in my life.

Good gracious, you’re all so nice and have such good questions.

Tagged by: @surroundedbypearls, @waterfallwritings, @bigmoodword, @sundaynightnovels

Rules: answer 11 questions, tag 11 people, give them 11 new questions!

[I’ve done this enough to be able to break the tag rules. Fight me.]

44 questions and answers below the cut!

But I’ll be nice and put my questions right here:

What would you do for a Klondike bar?

When do you title your WIPs? It is the first thing you do? The last? Does it come to you during drafting?

How many inside jokes do you put in your WIP(s)?

Your WIP’s antagonist is now The Riddler. How do your OCs handle that?

Do you use sticky notes?

Laptop or desktop?

Your OC is a wrestler. What’s their hype music?

Do you own any craft books/books on writing?

What’s your favorite book cover?

How many unread books do you have sitting around right now? Which are you most excited to maybe get to eventually some time?

How committed are you to your outline(s)?

Bilbo Taggins: Literally anyone, but also @francestroublr, @sahados-shadow, @a-story-im-writing, @bethkerring, @citruschickadee, @bos-ingit

If I’ve tagged you before, you can totally ignore this. In fact, I encourage you to.

From @surroundedbypearls:

What’s your favourite genre to write in and why? Literary fiction! It’s what I learned in university and the one that fits my themes best. Sci-fi is hard, I’m just getting into writing fantasy stuff, I can’t do thrillers, romance is hard for me, and historical is too much work.

Do you think you have a style/voice that you use more often in your writing? When did you develop that style? If you’ve read one of my stories, you know exactly how my writing voice sounds. It doesn’t change too much. I write like I talk, but if I had a lot more gravitas and charisma. Honestly, I’ve always had that kind of style, but it really developed in high school. It’s been getting stronger since then. It’s one of the things I always got comments about from my teachers and fellow workshop writers. “Your voice is so strong!” Yep. It’s mah thang.

Do you play video games? What’s your favourite? YES I DO. It’s hard to pick faves, but I’ve played Dragon Age: Origins too many times.

If you were going to do a WIP crossover, which OCs would be most interesting together? (If you’ve only got one WIP crossover with something else) A crossover between H2H and AOPC? Interesting. I think Mel and Keema would get along the best, Oz would have some fightin’ words for Elder Sanga, and Gemma and Teva would be a force to be reckoned with, my god. Two stubborn nerds who believe totally different things but are also very determined to be very good at what they want to do and love their communities to a fault? Fear them.

Do you prefer to plan WIPs in a document or through handwritten notes? I used to do it by hand but I couldn’t read it because my handwriting is terrible and I kept losing papers. I do it in docs now. Much easier to organize and incredibly legible.

Do you multiple languages exist in your WIP? If so how do you address that in the story? H2H is set in the “real world,” so yep. It hasn’t been addressed too much yet, but I have a way for tackling languages. I’ve written multilingual-ish stories before. I never write phonetically and use hella context clues so the reader knows the gist of what was said if another character doesn’t translate.

What’s your favourite animated film that’s not Disney or Pixar? AN AMERICAN TAIL. All of them. It’s on Netflix go watch it and marvel at the way a kids movie talks about Jewish immigration, poverty, and cultural oppression via mice. As a young Jewish child, this movie was my jam. It’s very dark, though.

Do your real-life surroundings influence your WIP’s settings? Nope! One time I tried to write a story set in the same area where I lived and I couldn’t do it. Too weird. Sometimes I’ll write in an item I see near me, or like, a painting or poster on the wall if I need some set decoration, but that’s about it.

Which OCs would be most likely to break the fourth wall? Oz. Lookin’ at the camera like he’s in The Office.

How do you work out your OCs’ personalities? Hm. I look at the story I’m trying to write and make a protagonist that would have the most interesting experience in that narrative. For H2H, I wanted someone who would be loyal as heck to the people they loved while still being experimental enough to try new things and get into shenanigans. The story called for someone like that, and there she was. Mel came about my thinking of someone who would compliment other characters in the story while still being their own person. If that makes sense. I think of dynamics and interactions with the story world in relation to the theme(s). Most of the time they just happen, though.

Do you prefer worldbuilding or character building? Character building! As much as I like making stories about places, making characters is more fun for me, and more interesting. You should see all the DnD character sheets I have.

From @waterfallwritings:

1. How do you come up with ideas for your WIPs?

At random. Seriously. It’s like my brain has to be running something in the background to function normally, and usually that something is whatever story I happen to be working on. Or I’ll look at a thing and go “huh.” My brain also likes to twist normal things to be a little bit different.

2. How do you get past gaps in the plot?

No idea, man. It’s like throwing spaghetti at a wall. I like to work backwards. If this is what I want to happen, what needs to happen before that to ensure that it occurs? I look at all the elements currently in the story and see if one can be manipulated to fill in the hole.

3. What motivates you to keep writing?

If I don’t, my brain gets all constipated and angry until I write something down. Like, seriously, I get grumpy and frustrated like I’m hangry or something. Aside from physical need, I love writing. I love word puzzles and feelings puzzles and figuring them out. Sometimes I think of how my stories could help someone, or make them feel something that they enjoy.

4. Do you do any other kind of creative writing?

Oh, man, I’ve done it all. Screenwriting, playwriting, poetry, video game-ish writing, interactive storytelling, short stories, flash fiction, proposals, essays, DnD campaigns, monologues... You name it, I’ve probably tried it. I tend to stick to prose and poetry these days.

5. Do you have any other creative hobbies besides writing?

I’ve gotten into graphic design a little bit. I kind of wanna learn how to knit again. I’m not really very crafty.

6. What do you do when you’re stuck on a scene and don’t know how to get it out / write it?

Write a different scene, stare at the screen in frustration until I give up and go to sleep, meditate for a few minutes, go do something else to get my mind off of it, clean, work on a different project.

7. How do you decide how to end your WIP?

I mean, see the next question for part of my answer. How did I decide to end H2H? My friend, that’s a big ‘ole spoiler. But I decided to end it at a place where everything, and everyone, comes together.

8. When in the process of writing do you decide how its going to end? Or do you kind of just wait til you get there?

Right at the beginning. If I don’t know where it’ll end, I have a hard time writing the arc. I work backwards: start with the idea, then think of where I want it to end up, then work back to the beginning until I know where its going, then start writing.

9. Why did you decide to join writeblr?

My reasons are pretty personal, but the least personal is that I needed some accountability and motivation. And I missed being in a good writing community.

10. What’s your favourite food?

Pasta! I’m eating spaghetti right now.

11. If you had to kill off a character in your WIP, who would it be and why?

Oz would be the most tragic. Treena would be the most logical.

From @bigmoodword:

1. using one sentence summaries, can you tell me about your wips?

Nerdy potion woman meets cute odd stranger who helps her solve magic mysteries in their quirky small town.

2. what inspired them?

I saw a zine accepting submissions for magic stories, then an open call for queer shifter stories, and thought “what if wholesome magical lesbians?”

3. which of your ocs do you most identify with?

Gemma!

4. if you’ve ever cried while reading, which book cued the waterworks?

THE SONG OF ACHILLES. My God, my soul was weeping. Honestly, it still is. Doesn’t matter that I knew the story from the Iliad. Madeline Miller is a feelings wizard.

5. how do you conduct research for your wips and what’s the most interesting thing you’ve discovered in said research?

On an as-needed basis. I used to do way too much research to avoid actually writing the damn thing, so now I only do it when I actually run into a problem that can be solved by Google.

6. thus far, which scene has been the most difficult to write?

The ones that aren’t hugely emotional. Which is... unfortunate.

7. which of your ocs do you like the least?

Rude. On a personal level, Jill. I love her, but I would not be friends with her. We wouldn’t mesh at all.

8. which pov and tense do you prefer to write in?

Third person limited present tense! To the bane of everyone who’s ever edited my work.

9. do you write poetry?

I do! Not often, though.

10. who is your writing role model?

My freakin’ writing professor from college. He is crazy disciplined.

11. if you could give your younger writer self some advice, what would it be?

Hey, you know those people who say your writing is too dark? Yeah, they suck and they’re wrong. They just want kids to live up to their expectations and write happy sunshiny stories about unicorns and dinosaurs having ice cream. And you’re not depressed because you wrote that one sad poem one time and someone asked if you were depressed. What you have is called feelings and they’re very useful for a writer, nay, a human, to have.

From @sundaynightnovels:

Who is your biggest role model? Okay, so I got crap all the time in grade school for never having a role model, and I still don’t have one. The teachers were concerned about me. But my reasoning was, “why should I want to live someone else’s life?” Yeah. They didn’t really know what to do with that...

What are your OCs favorite foods? Sort of answered here!

Which OC is most afraid of the dark? Oz and Mary!

What made you want to start a writing blog/participate in the writeblr community? Answered above!

Did you sleep with a stuffed animal as a kid? Do you still? I did, indeed. I don’t anymore, but I have two that I shuffle around my room when they get in the way. One is a highland cow I got in Scotland (he has a plaid hat), the other is a blue whale I got at the Museum of Natural History in NY.

Do you like donuts? I love donuts. Especially jelly filled ones. Mmm.

Do/would your OCs like donuts? All of my OCs like donuts. I don’t think Mel has ever had a modern one, though.

What is your least favorite food? Cauliflower? I’m the household taste-tester, so there’s been a lot of stuff I don’t like. ( @sundaynightnovels I hate sparkling water, too, you’re not alone!)

What is your ideal writing environment? Comfy seating, a chair with no arms (stupid elbows), alone, plenty of chosen beverage within reach, headphones.

Favorite line from your WIP? So far, it’s this one!

Favorite quote from a book? Oh, man. There are so many. From recent memory, here are a few: “’Give it time,’ she replies. ‘It won’t be a story forever.’“ and “Everyone has heard stories of women like us, and now we will make more of them.” (both from The Ladies Guide to Petticoats and Piracy) “When he smiled, the skin at the corners of his eyes crinkled like a leaf held to flame.” and “I lean forward and our lips land clumsily on each other. They are like the fat bodies of bees, soft and round and giddy with pollen.” (I could write a goddamn essay about the imagery in this scene.) (It is quite possibly my favorite description of a kiss ever. And the metaphor extends through the rest of the scene so artfully ugh.) (both from The Song of Achilles) “The thing about a story is that you dream it as you tell it, hoping that others might then dream along with you, and in this way memory and imagination and language combine to make spirits in the head.” (from The Things They Carried)

#11/11/11 tag #about me #tag game #writer tag #oh my god so many questions #fun stuff below the cut #forgive my terrible jokes I am tired #writeblr #how I write #I guess #rec #book rec

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sitkowskiryan · 5 years

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secret keepers. douze.

repost because i apparently never gave you guys chapter 11!

Warnings: smut, disregard of pronouns, dysphoria mention, emotional abuse(?), and vulgar language. This stuff is all just mentioned as josh and tyler talk about it.

Disclaimer: I am a cisgender, bisexual female and so I have no idea what is like to be a trans, gay man so I am sorry if I offend anyone! I'm gonna say this here and I'll repeat it in other chapters where I feel like people can get mad at me for things. If I have gotten something completely wrong/offensive, please give me advice on how to make it better!

･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.

Josh grunted as a weight settled on him, eyes slowly opening to see his boyfriend happily perched on his chest, wiggling his little hips.

"Ty what are you," Josh's question was cut off by a soft kiss to his lips, Tyler's hands trailing down his body and towards his boxers. Josh let out a soft moan, he always enjoyed being dominated by Tyler. It was nice to see the usually shy man take what he wanted. It was at this moment that Josh remembered what had happened last night. Talk about a cock block. Josh pulled back from the kiss, sitting up so he could see Tyler and so the younger man couldn't avoid his questions with kisses.

"Honey what about last night?" Josh got out breathily since Tyler had started to attack his neck half way through his question.

"Tyler," Josh attempted to be stern, but the teacher whined in annoyance.

"I don't wanna talk about it Josh," Tyler whispered, "I just wanna be close to my boyfriend, right now," Tyler purred, running his fingers through Josh's hair. The older man bit his lip, not sure what he wanted to do. He wanted to make sure his boyfriend was okay after last night, but also didn't want to see his confidence drain from him. Josh sat unsurely for a second before nodding his head slightly.

"You tell me when you need me to stop, the exact second Tyler," Josh said, tone firm as he gripped Tyler's hips tightly. Tyler nodded his head to show he understood before pulling Josh back into the kiss. Josh got lost in the kiss, holding his boyfriend with such care like he was scared Tired might break in half. It was the standard make out session that they were used to having. Until Tyler took one of Josh's hands and casually led it into his boxers. Josh's fingers trembled as they touched Tyler's coarse pubic hair, trimmed to by hygienic, but not like how the girls Josh has been with were like. Josh reminded himself that Tyler was no girl and he shouldn't be comparing him to past relationships.

"Be tender," Tyler instructed, letting go of Josh's hand and moving his own up to clench at Josh's bicep. Josh gulped audibly, not wanting to accidentally hurt Tyler or cause him discomfort. Josh thought back to his past with girls and by-passed Tyler's clit to rub his labia slowly. Tyler inhaled sharply, rocking into Josh's touch.

"Sensitive honey?" Josh whispered, Tyler nodding his head against Josh's shoulder. The older man slowly made his way up to Tyler's clit, letting his thumb circle the nub, gradually getting faster. Josh kissed at Tyler's neck during this process, listening to Tyler's keens and moans.

"Joshua, oh Joshua, JOSHUA!"

Josh shot awake to the harsh shaking, looking over at the flustered Tyler. The pink haired man glanced down at his crotch and Josh let out a loud groan, rubbing a hand over his face.

"I'm sorry baby boy," Josh said, his voice groggy. He made to get up, needing to calm down away from Tyler so he didn't pressure his boyfriend. The last thing he wanted was for Tyler to be uncomfortable. Soft hands on his chest stopped him, Tyler pulling Josh back onto the bed. Josh looked at him confusedly, but Tyler didn't meet his eyes, focusing on drawing shapes on Josh's chest.

"Honey?" Josh whispered, reaching up to cover Tyler's hand with his own, pausing his movements.

"Have to get used to it, don't I?" Tyler whispered, bringing Josh's knuckles to his lips before putting them back on his chest.

"Can't be with the man I love if I can't handle his wet dreams," Tyler joked solemnly, Josh smiling warily.

"Baby can we talk about last night?" Josh asked, eyes focused solely on Tyler to watch his reactions. Tyler paused for a second before nodding slowly.

"Take your time darling," Josh whispered, slowly sitting up in the bed and pulling Tyler to sit in his lap. The younger man curled up to his chest, fingers hooking in Josh's collarbone for a brief moment. Josh rubbed his back tenderly, waiting for Tyler to start.

"It wasn't a sudden thing... I think I always knew that I was different. Girls like dolls and dresses and I would scream and cry every Sunday when my mom attempt to put me in a dress. I liked to play basketball and get dirty, no matter how much my parents scolded me for getting 'your pretty skirt, Tyler!' dirty," Tyler started, brushing his fingers over Josh's peck. It wasn't in an intimate way, more of a subconscious action.

"When I turned fourteen I met this kid, Mikey, in high school. His sibling was transgender, only male to female. Went from Gerard to Gemma," the name tickled the back of Josh's mind, but he couldn't for the life of him remember why. Not that he cared about anything other than Tyler's word right now.

"I wanted to be Tyler Robert instead of Robin, my family believed it to be a phase, but it was who I was - am. I moved out at eighteen and rarely talked to my family unless I was forced too. Got top surgery at twenty-one, wearing binders hurt, though I sometimes wear them when I feel less... masculine I guess you could say," Tyler trailed off, letting his fingers play with Josh's happy trail, plucking a hair here and there. Josh's muscles contracted with each pluck, but he didn't stop Tyler.

"Do you feel less masculine often?" Josh asked, speaking for the first time in twenty minutes. Tyler had paused in his story, plucking at the hairs on Josh's chest and stomach absentmindedly.

"No, not really... Sometimes on my, um, period or if I think about the past. I'm pretty confident in my body, though having a vagina sometimes messes with my head..." Tyler admitted, humming softly when Josh's hand came up to rub his calf gently, blunt fingernails dragging through the body hair found there.

"And have you thought of bottom surgery?" Josh prodded nervously, not wanting to be insensitive. Tyler's lips quirked into a smile at the question, tilting his head up to finally look at Josh.

"Yeah, and I think I'll pass on that part. Besides vaginal sex feels better than anal," Tyler giggled softly, Josh pulling him closer. He loved seeing Tyler smile and giggle.

"I understand if you are not into it and want to like break up," Tyler whispered, his smile suddenly gone and the insecurity showing on his face once more. Josh shifted Tyler so he was straddling his lap and wrapped his arms around his waist.

"Honey, I wouldn't leave your side even if you were asexual. I'd love anything between your legs, even if it had something to do with tentacles." Tyler pushed him playfully at that, a small smile on his lips.

"And you wanna know something else?" Tyler nodded his head, biting his lip in a way that made Josh wanna flip them over and fuck him into the mattress.

"My dream was about playing with your clit and listening to your little noises that I am sure you make," Josh watched as Tyler's face turned red and didn't miss the subtle jerk his hips gave, seeking friction probably. Josh grinned at his boyfriend, patting his backside for a quick second and sitting back against the headboard.

"You dream about playing with my clit?" The word coming out of Tyler's mouth could have made Josh cum instantly if he was a teenager. Tyler did not like cursing, especially with Olivia in the house, so to hear such dirty words fall from his lips was hot.

Josh nodded his head, holding Tyler's hips tightly so he couldn't move them. Tyler huffed at him and they continued their conversation. Tyler's eyes widened when Josh revealed what he had told his family and burst into laughs that wracked his entire body. The both agreed never to call Tyler's bottom anatomy a cock ever again. Josh thumbed Tyler's hips, a lull in their conversation, one thought wracking his head over and over again.

"Hey Ty, how come you didn't want to tell me?" Josh finally asked, Tyler sighing, but he knew it was coming. He just didn't want to try an explain and hurt Josh's feelings.

"Protecting myself I guess? I didn't think you would come to mean so much to me or that I would ever meet you in person and here you are. I tried so many times to tell you that I was trans. How you didn't figure it out I will never know, missed health class baby?" Tyler teased, Josh knocking him off his lap. The teacher laughed and climbed back on top of his boyfriend.

"Plus I had bad relationships in the past where they find out I'm trans and say they are okay with it, but it was never long before they started to call me a sissy or a female or something like that. I didn't want you to be like that," Tyler whispered, wrapping his arms around Josh's neck. The older man rubbed his back and leaned up to press his lips to his briefly.

"I'd never hurt you or treat you different Ty. I actually dated a transgender woman in high school, couldn't figure it out then either," Tyler grinned at him, Josh rolling his eyes.

"But I had no problem with her, my problem was how people treated her when they found out. I wish with everything in me that I had been able to show her that I wasn't like the others. I'll spend my life showing you just how much you mean to me, how much you mean to my daughter Ty. I love you so much and that isn't going to change. Even if you turned out to be a killer."

Tyler's eyes were watering at Josh's admission, wrapping his arms around him tightly.

"I love you too sugar," Tyler whispered, pressing their lips together. Josh grinned into the kiss, flipping them so Tyler was on his back. The older man swallowed the younger's gasp, slipping his tongue into his mouth. Josh pulled back from the kiss, leaving Tyler breathless as he kissed down his jaw and towards his ear.

"Let me show you how much you mean to me, baby boy."

･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.

Word Count: 1,733

i hope you guys enjoyed this! let me know your favorite part(s)! send me some cute ideas for fluffy chapters please!

until next time,

stay alive sunshines

- courtney xox

#joshler #josh dun #tyler joseph #twenty one pilots #top #fanfiction #gay fanfiction #secret keeprs #scarycis #writing

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harrys-oh-anna · 6 years

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Day off in Cheshire

Summary: Harry went back home to his mum’s house for his day off and has a cosy afternoon with Y/N.

Warnings: non, just fluffy harry, pretty short one shot I guess and lets just pretend he’s hugging you like the teddy bear so our hearts can burst together

Suggestion: Listen to Tupelo Honey, it’s just an awesome song

Harry was exhausted, he’s been touring for the last few months. Don’t get him wrong, he loved it. All of it, the fans, the music, the different cities, but it also got to him. He missed home, his mom and everything that he was familiar with. His only remedy was his girlfriend, Y/N, that was with him for most of the time for his European leg. And while he loved the time he was able to spend with her and share all these experiences with her, what he really needed was some privacy with her, not having to rush from hotel to venue with people around, telling him what he must do and what was planned next. He was lucky, in ever possibly way, he knew it and would never take it for granted, never ever. He also knew that he was extremely lucky with Y/N putting up with his lifestyle and always being understanding when time had to come short on her. He loved her for her honesty and humble traits, keeping him on the ground right next to her. He had known her since they were little, their mums being best friends even though they both lived in different cities. While Harry spend his childhood in good old Cheshire, Y/N lived in buzzing London with her parents. But this didn’t stop them from bonding like hell. Their parents and siblings mocking them for their close relationship. And since Harry moved to London for his career, they got even closer. Harry fancied Y/N since he was 18 years old, but Y/N, being two years younger than him, didn’t want to sabotage their friendship. Years later though Harry won her heart over, with just being his gentle and attentive self, always putting her atop of everything and ever girl, never being able to forget her. Seeing her in every woman he has ever been with. Their relationship was perfect despite their fights they had from time to time and to be honest, he knew she was the one.

Y/N loved to be on tour with him, working with him and his tour team. Making it easy for them to keep their relationship on a healthy level. When she was younger and not together with Harry yet, she was scared of Harry being on tour, finding a new best friend, someone from the staff he saw on a daily basis, someone who knew what a life in the public eye meant. Simply someone she couldn’t compete with while living in London studying. But Harry never forgot her, not for one day. She loved him, from the bottom of her heart. Even though the tour was exhausting, she enjoyed it. But she knew that he was missing his mum, sister and Cheshire in general. As the tour finally stopped in Birmingham, the next stop being Manchester, Jeff decided it was best for Harry to go home and spend some well-deserved time with his family for his day off. Harry was more than exited and couldn’t believe his luck as he walked up the path to his mum’s home with his gorgeous girl beside him. Hugging his mum tight and her pressing kisses on her son’s cheeks while he was smiling like crazy, engulfing Y/N next. “I’m so glad you two are here! It’s been way too long since I have seen you! You’re looking good, both of you!” she hushed while pushing you two through the door inside the bright house, where you could already see Gemma and her boyfriend in the living room, discussing something. “Hey little brother, good to see you. Have you gained a little weight? Seems like the tour treats you well” she laughed out, while Harry rolled his eyes, pinching her waist. “Hey Gem”, Y/N said, hugging her. Anne already bringing some tea for them all. They all talked for a few hours, laughing and updating each one on new stuff, enjoying the quality. Harry never Y/N’s side the whole midday, always making sure to touch her in a way. His arm around her shoulder, his hand on her knee, playing with her fingers or the promise ring he gave her a few weeks back. He gave it to her to make a point, a point for him, her and the whole world. She was his, his girl and no one could deny it. It kind of soothed him to know that all these other boys eying her, would back off as soon as they saw the sparkling ring sitting on her middle finger. Sometimes he imagined how it would be to put a ring on her ring finger, but he didn’t want to hurry things.

His eyes were sparkling when she told them a funny story about the tour. He loves being able to touch her and stare at her, without having hundreds of eyes following them. And he loved the fact that Y/N fitted so well into his family.

Later that day, Gem, her boyfriend and Anne decided to go for a walk due the nice weather outside, but Harry wanted to stay inside to watch a little bit of Netflix and lay down. As soon as the three left the house, he approached his girlfriend who was doing the dishes for his mum and hugged her from behind. “I can’t remember seeing you the last time doing something as usual as washing plates. Suits you” she felt his breath tickling her neck while his lips graced her skin. He always could send sparks through her whole body with doing just such little things. “Come on, lets watch a Romcom and cuddle a bit, I need you” he picked her up and three her over his shoulder which made her chuckle and squeal. He threw them both on the couch, hugging her from behind and pulling her waist close to him, leaving almost no space between them, as he turned on the TV, landing on movie. Not many words were exchanged, what wasn’t needed though, they both were just wrapped in each other, listening to the movie.

“I haven’t seen you this relaxed for weeks” Y/N mumbled “We need to see them more often, it’s like we’re little again and there’s no world you have to sing to.” He just kissed her head and ear, way too lazy to put together some words.

Not long later though, Harry heard how Y/N’s breath was slowly flattening out and her body grew heavier – seems like she was tired as well. It was soothing. The similar smell of his home and his girlfriend, her warm body pressed to his front. Everything was peaceful, and he drifted of to sleep as well.

The next thing he knew was his girlfriend twisting in his arms, waking him up from his light sleep, he loosened his grip, letting her turn around, facing him while still being asleep. She had a deep frown on her face, her lashes touching her cheeks and her mouth being slightly opened, letting out little snores. He had to grin, the best thing that could happen to him was to be awake before Y/N was, so he could watch her. Usually she didn’t like it if Harry stared at her, blushing, rolling her eyes and swatting his face away slowly. But when she was still asleep he could admire her beauty as much as he wanted. He smiled, starting to trace his finger lightly across her face, beginning to soothe out her frown. What she might be dreaming about? He’d ask her later. He reached her lips, the lips that he could kiss for hours straight, the lips he loved to nibble and suck on, knowing it was one of her sweet spots, the lips that moaned his name and the lips from which her angle like laughter and voice escaped. She stirred in her sleep, maybe he was starring to intensive, waking her up, but she just moved a bit, nuzzling her face closer to his neck.

“You really do love her, right?” his head snapped up and he could see his mother standing in the door frame. He was so entranced with Y/N that he didn’t here the front door opening and his family coming back home. He smiled.

“I can see it the way you look at her. Not just right now, but in the little moments. You look at her like she’s your world.” Anne kept going on. Harry nodded “She is”, rubbing his girls back. “I don’t know what I’d do without her.”

His mum smiled “It’s crazy. I kind of knew you two would end up together since Y/N’s sixth birthday party. You really didn’t want to play wedding and exclaimed, that you would only be the groom if she’ll be your bride. I kind of had a feeling since that day. You blurted it out so sure” Harry chuckled lowly, remembering the day. Harry was eight years old that time and proper annoyed that day. He was the only boy invited, being outnumbered by girls. But he went there anyway, because he liked Y/N, she was his best friend and she would also come to his birthdays. However, as a group of four girls decided to play “wedding”, it was clear who had to be the groom and he totally lost it. He not just felt way too old to play such a childish game, especially as a boy, but he also didn’t know these kids, nor did he like them. Yet it was her Birthday and he didn’t want to cause a scene. So, when all the others girl started to fight who was the one to marry him, he just knew one thing. He neither wanted to marry his sister or a stranger. It sounded ridiculous, because it wasn’t a real wedding, but he was shy at that time and it felt like betrayal to him. His only thought was “Y/N” as the four little devils started to pull on his arm, dragging him away to the wedding place. He instantly shouted out for Y/N and making everyone, including his and Y/N’s parents, turn as he cried “NO! The only person I’ll ever marry is Y/N. I don’t want to marry any you! I either marry Y/N or not at all!” Y/N, who was playing hide and seek with her other group of friends, stopped and ran over to him, took his hand and said, “I’ll do it, don’t worry, Harry.”

Harry looked over to the picture of him and Y/N hanging on the wall from that day. Her wearing a little crown made from daisies and holding onto Harry as they were running around. “Maybe I can really make her mine one day. Put a ring on her finger.”

“I’m sure. You already put one on of hers” Anne pointed to Y/N’s hand, which was laying on his chest.

Harry’s lips twitched “Yeah, I just have to make sure it’s her ring finger the next time and not her middle one. And maybe I’ll find a proper ring.”

Anne just nodded her head “I’m sure you will.”

Harry eyed his mum “She’ll be by my side no matter what, won’t she? Like I won’t lose her?”

“Have a little faith in yourself. You will be alright with her. I just know it.” and with that she left the room, leaving them some privacy.

Harry looked down on his little precious thing laying in his arms. If his mum says so, it will be. She never was wrong. That’s the amazing thing with mothers, they were always right. He stroked his Y/N’s hair while listening to his mum roaming in the kitchen, preparing dinner. They kept laying in this position a few more minutes until Y/N seemed to wake up.

Her eyes opened slowly, and she blinked a few times before setting them on Harry, looking into his green eyes and getting lost in them. She put her hands up, hiding her fingers in his hair, pulling on it. “Good afternoon, Bub” he said, leaning down, kissing her softly on her lips, pulling away too soon for her liking. “Good afternoon to you as well. Did you stare at me again?”

“Can’t blame me for admiring what’s mine, especially when you’re that cute” he kissed her nose, looking deep into her eyes “I love you Y/N. Forever and ever. I’ve been loving you for such a long time, you honestly have no idea.”

“I love you too, Harry. Forever and ever, no matter what.”

#harry styles imagine #Harry Styles #one direction #one direction imagines #oneshot

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hello-em75 · 6 years

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TAGGED BY: my musk ox @chiefhiccstrid and @winxrus ! thanks guys!

last

drink: jasmine milk tea with boba! so goooood

phone call: my mom

text message: my babe @chiefhiccstrid ;)

song you listened to: “eastside” by halsey, khalid, and benny blanco

time you cried: two days ago when i watched inside out (how do you not tear up when bing bong sacrifices himself like he’s my hero)

ever

dated someone twice: well i haven’t dated someone once SOOO

kissed someone and regretted it: haven’t had my first kiss yet loll

been cheated on: in my head yes JK

lost someone special: i probably thought they were pretty special at the time, but then realized that they really weren’t all that

been depressed: no fortunately. i’ve had my bouts of sadness and loneliness more often than i’d like to admit, but i’ve always been surrounded by a loving family and i have my extra special best friend who always reminds me of how much i’m loved so i’m pretty blessed <333

gotten drunk and thrown up: not yet LMAO

fave color: i always say blue, but i’m always in some neutral color so probably gray, white, or black if it really came down to it

in the last year have you

made new friends: yep! and i’m incredibly thankful for them

fallen out of love: if you mean an unhealthy level of infatuation then hells yes

laughed until you cried: luckily yes

found out someone was talking about you: yeah, but it wasn’t anything bad so we’re good

met someone who changed you: i wouldn’t say they changed me, but @chiefhiccstrid has definitely brought out nothing but the best in me since we’ve become friends, and i’m eternally grateful for that and her

found out who your friends are: eh, i guess? we’re still “friends” in the sense that there’s still a strong sense of familiarity and trust among us all but they’re not the people i turn to first in the way that friends do

kissed someone on your facebook friends list: no kisses yet

how many of your facebook friends do you know irl: all of them pretty much

do you have any pets: nope! and it kills me every day

do you want to change your name: i used to think it was pretty basic, but now i can’t imagine myself with another one

what did you do for your last birthday: i was in las vegas with family and my dad’s friend’s family! i remember eating sushi, taking a solid nap in our hotel room, eating a overpriced and frankly not worth it “thanksgiving” dinner, opening presents, and eating cake lol

what time did you wake up today: around 10 AM LOLL

what were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping

what is something you can’t wait for: httyd: thw (obviously) and graduating high school!

what are you listening to right now: unfortunately, a spotify ad

have you ever talked to a person named tom: only in my dreams bc tom holland and i are tight af in my head.

something that gets on your nerves: i could air out my laundry list here, but i’ll go with ignorant and narrow-minded people

most visited website: i honestly don’t know between tumblr, ff.net, or one of my school websites that i have to go to everyday to get a good grade lol

hair color: it used to be a dark brown, but i got a balayage treatment done last year so it’s still brown but has streaks of blonde now too!

long or short hair: aggressively long but i honestly love it

what do you like about yourself: if looking externally, probably my eyes because that’s something people consistently compliment me on. if looking inwardly for something i like about myself (which is definitely harder), probably my sense of humor and go with the flow attitude towards most things lol

want any piercings: i have one set of piercings in my ears, but i kind of want to get another one in my ears to make it two sets!

blood type: i honestly don’t know and neither do my parents (without looking at any of my documents) so if i ever needed blood we’d be in real trouble hehe

nicknames: em is the main one, but pretty much everyone calls me emily irl.

relationship status: a questionably happy single ngl

zodiac: sagitarrius

pronouns: she/her

fave tv shows: race to the edge, voltron, trollhunters, queer eye, and the crown

tattoos: none yet! but i’m leaning towards getting one when i’m old enough to!

right or left handed: right-handed

ever had surgery: thankfully nope

piercings: only in my ears

sport: i probably would be okay at most of them if i was at all fast but nope lol

I have practiced: piano, violin, clarinet, and guitar (which i eventually all quit).

vacation: gosh, i want to go all over the world because i’ve pretty much traveled only in the us and canada in my lifetime thus far SO LETS INTERNATIONALLY TRAVEL

trainers: if this is relevant to sneakers, then yes i have had them in the past year. but if not, then i have no clue LOL.

more general

eating: nothing atm

drinking: nothing atm

about to watch: nothing, because i should be asleep at 2 AM haha

waiting for: httyd: thw and money to fall in my lap so i can go visit all of my rad httyd fandom friends and not be fucking broke going into college

want: happiness? lasting love? a sense of security? success? is this too deep for this question bc i went there LOL

want to get married: definitely one day!

career: nothing yet! still have to graduate hs and go through college first

which is better

hugs or kisses: hugs

lips or eyes: eyes

shorter or taller: taller

older or younger: for a relationship, i would rather them be older then younger

nice arms or stomach: arms

hookup or relationship: relationship

troublemaker or hesitant: oof can there be somewhere in between?

have you ever

kissed a stranger: nope

drunk hard liquor: psh i’m not that cool jk

lost glasses: yes, but always after i get new ones luckily

turned someone down: yes, but still not 100% sure if they were joking or not when asking me out so maybe no?

sex on first date: nah that’s not really me

broken someone’s heart: gosh i sure hope not

had your heart broken: at the time i probably saw it that way

been arrested: not yet lmao

cried when someone died: if we’re talking about stoick then yes LOL

fallen for a friend: nope! at most they’ve been acquaintances or surface-level friends tbh

do you believe in

yourself: it changes on the daily

miracles: hmm i guess? like i believe that they can happen, but i wouldn’t pray for one or hope for one if there’s a way i can take to achieving something myself if that makes sense

love at first sight: attraction yes, “love” is a hard no

santa claus: at one point in time i did, but not now

kiss on a first date: it really depends on the date and who the guy is

angels: yes

others

best friend’s name: stefanie :))))))

eye color: hazel

fave movie: httyd/httyd2, spiderman homecoming, mulan, princess and the frog, the incredibles, and probably more bc i’m brainfarting atm

fave actors: tom holland, chris evans, america ferrera, andree vermeulen, jay baruchel, lana condor, noah centineo, awkwafina, gemma chan, anna kendrick, and probably a whole bunch more that i’m blanking on lol

TAGGING: @involuntarydiaphragmspasm , @fanaticfangirl2602 , @astridthevalkyrie , @drchee5e , @hotccup , @howtodrawyourdragon , @ashleybenlove , @whosthatgal , @knowerofuselessfacts , @evilwriter37, @lutavero and anyone else who wants to do it!

#ask meme #httyd fandom #personal

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briangroth27 · 6 years

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The End of the F***ing World Season 1 Review

The End of the F***ing World was a great, truly funny (and quite dark) black comedy! Jessica Barden and Alex Lawther were believable as teens (and as "proper bandits!") and were excellent at bringing humorous, serious, and compelling sides to their characters. I believed in their connection and wanted them to end up together somewhere they could find peace, despite the extremely questionable setup of James wanting to kill Alyssa. With a premise like that, this could've easily been a sexist or misogynistic tale, but the show did a great job of avoiding that trap.

Full Spoilers...

I was surprised by how likable James was, despite his belief that he was a sociopath and his plan to kill Alyssa. That may be partially because I’m not sure I ever really thought he would even attack her (much less succeed), but that didn’t lessen the emotional impact of what he was experiencing. I definitely expected her to find out what he wanted to do and while they explored her fearing him and not trusting him a bit, I’m surprised they didn’t play that card. The writers did a great job of humanizing someone who thought he was inhuman and James' mother (Kelly Harrison) and Alyssa were key to that. Admitting to the “murder” of his mother was a good way to get out of his aborted confession of the actual murder he’d committed while telling us about her death in more detail, and I'm not sure it was entirely a lie that he felt he killed her through inaction. Either way, I felt sorry for James when the truth about his mom's death was revealed.

Alyssa could've come off as a manic pixie dream girl, only existing as an ideal to fix James' flaws and make him complete without any journey or growth of her own, but she never did. Instead, she challenged him and brought out sides he didn't know he had while discovering truths about herself as well. I liked her talk with James about not having to do what people told him after he was abused at the diner (and how she dealt with that creep (Geoff Bell) was masterful). Confronting his habit of going along with what people said even if he didn't want to was a good way to play with Alyssa’s insecurity over whether he really wanted her—or even wanted to be on this adventure—or not. It's interesting how that can be juxtaposed with how much more aggressive she was about their sex life. The implication wasn't ever that she was abusing him, of course, but setting their relationship and his personality up like that was a clever way to feed into her doubts about him, even while she was trying to get him to be more active in his decisions. This indecisiveness and uncertainty about where they stood in each other’s estimation was a great way to tease out their relationship when it would’ve been easier (and cheaper) to have them hook up as soon as they ran away together. At the same time, everyday roadblocks to intimacy like the picture of Clive Koch (Jonathan Aris) putting James off while Alyssa was trying to give him a blowjob were funny, while Alyssa getting James to dance with his eyes closed was one of many truly sweet sequences that totally sold me on their romance. The emergence of James' feelings was compelling: with him slowly experimenting and experiencing newfound parts of himself, he quickly became a far cry from the kid who put his hand in a fryer and didn't feel anything. James paying to have himself beaten up was a little odd at first—I thought it was to build a self-defense argument before turning himself in for the murder—but I prefer the explanation I saw elsewhere: it’s an attempt to feel, just like the fryer incident. Perhaps he thought an inability to feel was what drove Alyssa away and he wanted to prove to himself that he could. It was also interesting that while James had killed a lot of animals before, he couldn’t kill an injured dog after killing Koch. That was a neat way to show his growing feelings for other living things, the result of the nauseous disgust he’d experienced after murdering Koch, and possibly a tie back to watching his (emotionally) injured mom kill herself. Alyssa being able to kill the dog out of mercy worked without any sort of implication that she’s a serial killer: she doesn't have the same block nor the interest he did. I liked that James was repeatedly willing to turn himself in and take all the blame to save her, but I loved his realization that he wasn’t Alyssa’s protector—even when he killed Clive to save her, sparking confusion about her being scared of him because of it—she was his.

Even so, I loved the back and forth they gave her in regard to her opinion of James. It would've been lame to have her just constantly in love with this brooding guy out of boredom (or worse, because he was aloof), but rebuffing him off and on over the course of the series made their relationship's development feel more realistic (and his passive approach to their relationship prevented it from feeling like he was badgering her to date him). Bringing Topher (Alex Sawyer) back to Clive's house and nearly having sex with him could’ve made Alyssa seem flaky or unlikable, but her performance sold it, the writers never chose to make either lead the bad guy, and her feeling that James had rejected her prevented her from looking like a cheater. Not to mention, this was a great display of her agency and freedom to do what she wanted. I liked that Topher accepted her changing her mind and kicking him out before they had sex, even if he was angry: Alyssa laying down the law and him actually respecting her decision (despite whining about it) was refreshing. I loved that Alyssa didn't take James' crap either and took care of herself first—it’s totally understandable and reasonable that she would ditch him out of fear after the murder—until it meant the safety of a little girl (Lily Kavanagh). Alyssa aborting her escape from a shop's security guard (Leon Annor) to return a lost child to her father (Garry Summers), unintentionally convincing the guard to let her go without calling the police for shoplifting—and then shoplifting anyway—was a perfect encapsulation of her character. I also liked that she was somewhat using James to escape her life just as much as he planned to use her to see if he liked killing; that was an unconventional way of making them equals. After so many attempts to jump into sex, Alyssa asking James to wait when they were on the beach was a nice twist. Even though it wouldn’t have been immoral to sleep together earlier, there would’ve been more meaning (practically accidentally, given all their earlier failed attempts) to waiting until they both genuinely felt something—and knew they felt something—for each other instead of just having the idea of feelings.

That said, I loved that Alyssa's story wasn't just about figuring out whether she and James should be together. Alyssa crying in the bathroom on their first night in the hotel room was a great way of showing this wasn’t just some joyride as the reality of what they'd embarked upon hit her. Her reluctance to take the fastest route to her father Leslie (Barry Ward) out of fear that he wouldn’t accept her or even recognize her was a great reason to make the trip (and season) last longer and a solid insight into her self-worth. The promise of reaching her father and being happy was a strong drive for her character, made all the more tragic when she realized who he really was. For that reason, I’d be interested to see where she might go in a potential Season 2 without Leslie or James (preferably because he’s in prison, not dead); she’s definitely a strong character, but I’d like to see more of where she takes herself on her own and it’d be nice to see her find some happiness that isn’t wrapped up in the promise of a father figure or potential boyfriend. Alyssa knocking out DC Noon (Gemma Whelan) and trying to steal Leslie's boat with James will not bode well for her (even with James then knocking her out to take all the blame), so she probably has her own issues with the law to face first. I'd also be interested to see how she handles that.

Encountering an array of the worst people helped to offset the seriousness of the crimes Alyssa and James were committing. Whether they came across pedophiles, rapist murderers, or the everyday sexism Alyssa dealt with from her step-father (Navin Chowdhry), the show did a great job revealing that not only were the kids not the worst of society (as some might rush to brand younger "degenerate" generations), but they were far from the only criminals. Immorality and crime could be found everywhere, even in Alyssa's seemingly caring dad, who gave up and ran when things got too hard for his second family (not to mention being a drug dealer who laughed about running over a dog).

At the same time, the show struck a careful balance between good and bad in the adults who weren't examples of the problems with society (at least not directly). James and Alyssa's disputes with his father (Steve Oram) and her mother (Christine Bottomley) were structured realistically and didn’t make either teen seem like a spoiled brat. James and Alyssa’s parents were also sprinkled with enough care that it was believable they were concerned for their missing children, despite their flaws and shortcomings, later in the season instead of coming off as uncaring or tyrannical. It was kind of sad that petrol station attendant Frodo (Earl Cave) really wanted to come with James and Alyssa—he even helped them escape and rob his store—but they ditched him. I feel like perhaps he was in the story as a measure to keep Alyssa and James' crime spree from coming off as too enticing; they’d still committed real crimes and Frodo will doubtlessly lose his job (if not face charges) for helping them. If that was the intention, undercutting the wish fulfillment of the show’s premise and making James and Alyssa a little selfish is daring. If there's a second season, I'd like to see Alyssa and/or James meet Frodo again and deal with what they did to him, since he wasn't a scourge of society, just a little downtrodden. The most surprising balance came from Clive's mother (Elieen Davies); I didn’t expect her to have a change of heart and turn in the camcorder with evidence of him raping women. I definitely thought that would be much harder for the kids to prove, but it was clever writing to not allow her actions to fully get them off the hook. In terms of the actual investigation, I don't think the authorities needed to find James' knife. Hiding it in the pool drain was really stupid in the first place and felt a little out of character (though as I’ve seen suggested elsewhere, he may have just been panicking). He and Alyssa were already connected to the house via Topher’s wallet and the knife could've been recovered at Leslie's, so the case didn’t really need that element or his mistake.

I really liked the comedy the show got out of Detective Constables Eunice Noon and Teri Darego (Wunmi Mosaku) as they slowly closed in on James and Alyssa. Noon crushing on Darego and Darego not being interested (despite something having previously occurred between them) added to the off-kilter romantic comedy vibe the show was dealing in perfectly. It was also great that they weren't buffoons chasing much smarter teens. I was happy to see a pair of strong women not only as the lead investigators but who were defined by more than the awkwardness of their will they/won't they relationship. Their increasing difference of opinion over whether James and Alyssa were truly criminals or if they were just scared, misunderstood kids who'd made mistakes—Noon believed in them, Darego argued they’ll still get manslaughter for killing Clive in self-defense, especially given James was about to turn 18—was a great source of drama in their relationship. It was masterful that this disagreement not only drove a wedge in their partnership, but reminded the audience of how much trouble the kids were in. It can't just be fun and games for them, even if the authorities believe their story.

I saw a review that said this show was nihilistic, but I disagree: I think the fact that James is a good person at heart and just needed to realize it is anything but nihilism. Alyssa too is willing to give herself up to save a kid; how can the discovery of love and concern for one another be anything but meaningful? Unlike a lot of people (from what I've seen online), I do want a second season. I want to see James deal with his end-of-season revelation about what people mean to each other. People don't stop growing when they have realizations about themselves; in fact what they do with that information is just as (and often, much more) interesting as how they got there. I also want to know how Alyssa is affected by the events of the finale (whatever they may be; personally I think James survived, but was arrested). Maybe she could spring him from jail somehow. She also has a fair bit to answer for over the course of the season, so what will happen to her? And what happens if she finds out that James planned to kill her? I was very happy DC Noon survived, so at least they might have her in their corner and the one person who knows their side of the story didn't end up as another death on their hands. As it stands, I can surmise enough of the finale's fallout to be mostly satisfied if this is the ending, but it was still a little too open-ended for me and I want to see what happens next. I also want more time with these compelling characters! So, let's have Season 2, Netflix!

Check out more of my reviews, opinions, theories, and original short stories here!

#the end of the f***ing world #alex lawther #jessica barden #wunmi mosaku #gemma whelan #dc eunice noon #dc teri darego #alyssa #james #netflix

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wazafam · 3 years

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The premise of Younger pulls fans in right away: 40-something Liza Miller pretends to be in her 20s so she can work in NYC publishing. How does she do it, and do people actually believe her? As it turns out, most people totally buy it, but Liza is still worried about her secret getting out. With the show currently in its final season, Liza has been living as her real self for a while now, and she's dealing with turmoil in her personal life after turning down Charles's marriage proposal.

RELATED: Younger: 10 Characters That Fans Would Love To Be Friends With

From adorable scenes between friends to the quirky and unique books that writers pitch to Empirical and Millennial, there is so much to love about Younger. The tone is light and fun, and while not every character has lines that are laugh-out-loud hilarious, several characters bring their senses of humor to their scenes.

10 Charles Brooks

Several fans of Younger want Liza to be with Charles, as they love his kind personality and their romantic their love story.

While Charles would never classify himself as a hilarious person, and he never tries to make any jokes, that's exactly why he seems so funny. He brightens any room without even trying to and he has a cheeky, charming personality that Liza fell for immediately.

9 Enzo

Diana met Enzo when he was working construction, and they have a pretty hilarious love story, as Diana met his entire family and there was a lot of tension between Diana and his mother. They got married and went on a long honeymoon in season 7.

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Enzo has a charming, delightful personality, and while he's not a character who constantly cracks jokes, he has a playful way about him that makes him one of the funniest people on the show.

8 Quinn Tyler

When Quinn betrayed everyone at Empirical by pulling her investment, no Younger fan thought that she would return, and so it was surprising to see her back in season 7.

This season, Quinn has written a new memoir called The F Word about how failure is a good thing, and she's also dating Charles, which is another betrayal of Liza. While many viewers don't love Quinn because she can be cruel and selfish, it's hard not to notice how funny she is. Quinn has a quick wit and a sharp sense of humor, especially when talking about herself in a self-deprecating manner. When Liza says that it's hard to figure her out, Quinn agrees and says, "I’ve written two books about me, and I can tell you, b*tch is unpredictable."

7 KT

In season 7, Josh meets KT, the manager for a singer named Floaty V. The two have an instant connection and start sleeping together. Unfortunately for Josh, he waits too long to tell KT that he has a baby girl named Gemma, and when she finds out, she tells him that she can't date someone who is a parent as it's too much responsibility. The characters go on some awful first dates but KT and Josh were always in sync.

Despite this tough ending to a fun fling, KT is a funny character who loves life and she has a vibrant personality. KT is a big contrast to Josh's other main love interest Claire, who seems lovely, at times, but isn't very funny.

6 Josh

Fans debate Liza's love triangle with Josh and Charles, as they both seem like solid partners for her to pick in the end. Of the two characters, Josh definitely has a better sense of humor.

Josh has a great approach to life, as he sees the bright side of situations and doesn't like to get too stressed out. This is why it's such a big deal when he and Claire have a messy relationship and then start co-parenting Gemma together. He never thought he would be in this situation, but he loves being a dad, and it's so sweet to watch. Josh jokes around all the time and Liza sometimes struggles to have serious conversations with him throughout their relationship.

5 Maggie Amato

Maggie is a smart and loyal friend and she also has a wonderful sense of humor. She's better at making jokes or diffusing a tense situation than many of the other characters, as she's so confident that very little upsets her or makes her feel awkward.

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Maggie also expects to find herself in silly situations from time to time, like when she paints her ceiling and gets stuck upside down, and fans root for her all the time. In the current season, Maggie is being "canceled" as revenge from her new boss, and while this is painful and makes her worried for the future of her career, she still tries to take it in stride.

4 Kelsey Peters

Kelsey is at her funniest when she's flustered, which is often, as she struggles with her personal and work lives on the show in every episode.

In season 7, Kelsey gets cast on a reality TV show about real estate, and she is at her best here, fighting with the host who insults her intelligence and acts like she's in love with him when she's really not. Kelsey is passionate about her career and never afraid to verbally spar with someone.

3 Liza Miller

Liza is at her funniest when trying to be a millennial, as she doesn't understand the slang and most jokes, and she's constantly putting her foot in her mouth and trying to hide her secret.

Liza is still hilarious after sharing her secret, though, and she also becomes a much better person as she lives her truth and lets everyone in on why she did it. Liza knows that she's smarter than others and often has a good comeback ready. Fans love watching her, as she's a sweet, authentic person, even though she did shave decades off her age.

2 Lauren Heller

Lauren is one of the most hilarious characters on Younger and always wants to make a dramatic statement. She's at her best when talking to Kelsey, as the two are super close friends and Lauren sometimes gets too invested in her life. One of Lauren's best quotes is when she's begging Kelsey for details about her romance with Zane and she says, "Boundaries, OK, not quite sure why best friends need those but fine."

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Season 7 of Younger can feel a bit heavy, as Liza mourns the end of her romance with Charles and the fact that he's dating Quinn, and Liza and Kelsey feel lost and uninspired at work. Lauren provides a lot of comic relief, as she relishes the chance to take over Diana's job temporarily. She's bold, vibrant and always funny.

1 Diana Trout

Fans love that Diana is a strong woman who loves her job and while she is definitely missed in season 7, she is still the most hilarious character on Younger.

Diana, like Charles, has no clue that she can be so funny, and she tries her best to be totally serious all the time. It's too bad that she won't be in much of the final season, as she would probably make many jokes about being married and bring her trademark wit to the situation. But from what viewers have seen from this character over the show's previous 6 seasons, she's not afraid to say what she thinks and her clever yet sometimes awkward remarks are always funny.

NEXT: Which Younger Character Are You, Based On Your Zodiac Sign?

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heyyyharry · 4 years

Text

Chapter 10: Truth or Truth

(from the My Girl Trilogy: Stay Mine)

…in which the truth comes out.

Word count: 6.6k

AU: actor!Harry, older!Harry, younger!Y/N, (4-year age gap).

Wattpad link (Thea as Y/N)

Well, this is one crazy chapter 👀 Let me know what you think because I’m thirsty for feedback. But also don’t be to harsh on me I’m fragile.

The last Sunday of the month. Laura Hilfgard’s flat. Y/N’s book was almost finished and ready for submission, and she was at the top of her game. She’d been putting off everything else to write, and for the first time in her life, everything was happening according to plan. Last year’s Y/N would’ve spent every passing moment waiting for something to go wrong. The writer-to-be Y/N, however, was living her best life.

“Are you sure you want to omit the confrontation scene in chapter ten?” Laura asked once they’d stopped for a tea break.

Y/N stirred her tea slowly, still contemplating her handwritten notes. “You don’t need drama in every chapter. It’s not realistic.”

“It’s fiction,” said Laura. Y/N glanced up with an eyebrow lifted, and the agent exhaled as she raised her hands, palms out. “Sorry, ma’am. Your book.”

Blowing into her tea, Y/N closed her pink notebook and took a sip. “Sorry, it’s just the story is based on what happened to me.”

“Oh?” Laura blinked, sounding both surprised and intrigued.

“I changed a few things,” Y/N said. “But yeah, my boyfriend used to be my neighbour. We met in his treehouse twelve years ago.”

“Your boyfriend is Harry Styles, right?”

“You know him?”

“Everyone does.” Laura stopped stirring her tea to add more sugar with the same spoon. She’d been stirring and adding sugar for the last five minutes, which made Y/N wonder if she was going to drink at all. “I’ve heard so many stories about you two. You make a fine couple.”

“You’ve heard stories about us?” Y/N carefully set down her cup and smiled questioningly at the woman. “From whom?”

“Everyone,” Laura said and finally brought the cup to her red lips. Y/N watched Laura take the first sip of her overly sweet tea, and the only thing that came to Y/N’s mind was the likelihood of a connection between Laura and Harry.

Impossible. Harry would never have interfered. Not after their fight about John Conall. Besides, Blake had been the one who’d suggested her to Laura, not Harry. So how could Harry have possibly done anything?

Or could he?

What if he’d contacted Laura right after Blake had given the manuscript to her? No, Harry would never lie to Y/N. Harry, of all people, would understand how much this meant to her, that she’d accomplished everything on her own without his help. Harry, of all people, would believe in her.

Once she got back to her flat, she found herself pacing back and forth in her living room, clutching her phone to her chest as she tried to decide if she should just call and ask him. Him saying he had no connection to her literary agent would put Y/N out of her misery. But that would prove that she didn’t trust him, and he’d be so angry, and they would fight again. Things had been going so well recently she didn’t want to mess it up. Although there was a tiny part of her doubting everything, mostly herself…

Her phone rang, and she jumped. It was Harry. Biting her nail, she slid her thumb across the screen to answer and tried her best not to sound like she’d been overthinking. “Hey, baby.”

“Hey, are you working?”

“I just got back from Laura’s.”

“Is the book done?”

“Yup. We’ve submitted it to some publishers, and all we have to do now is wait.”

“That’s my girl.”

The question about Laura was on the tip of her tongue. She bit her nail instead and took a seat on the couch as he went on, “Don’t hate me for what I’m about to say, okay?”

“Okay.” She kept her tone light and neutral while unconsciously picking at a thread on her skirt.

“I forgot that I’d have dinner with my dad. I know I said I’d take you out tonight–”

“No, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it,” she said quickly and sat on her hand to stop her fidgeting. “You’ve been spending quite a lot of time with your dad.”

“Yeah,” he sighed contentedly. “Now that I don’t have to hide it from my mum or Gemma anymore, I can support Dad and Emi without feeling bad about it.”

“Support? As in...financially?” She hoped she didn’t sound too judgy.

He was quiet for a full second. “It’s not a big deal.”

“Harry…”

“No, hear me out. They owed the bank a lot of money because of the accident. I only helped them pay their debt. It’s not like I’m buying them a car or a house.”

She pinched the bridge of her nose and exhaled. “You’ve been giving them so many expensive things, and Isaac told me you’ve also been helping Emi get back to acting.”

“ ‘Help’ as in I got her to castings. She still needs to audition like everyone else. I don’t ask directors to give her roles that she’s incompetent at, if that’s what you’re implying.”

“I’m not implying anything.” Maybe she was. “It’s just...you can’t live their lives for them, Harry.”

“I don’t. I’m only trying to help.”

“You can help, and you should. Just don’t overspend on them.”

“They’re family.”

She almost told him ‘not really’ and ‘I still don’t trust them’, but then let it go once he fell silent. “That wasn’t a fight, was it?” she asked.

“Of course not, kid.” His low laugh brought her a sense of relief. She straightened before leaning into the couch, staring at one of the cracks on her ceiling.

“I gotta go now. Talk to you later?” he said cautiously.

So she kept her tone light. “Sure. Have fun acting.”

“Have fun writing. Love you.”

She giggled as he kissed the phone.

“I love you, too.”

Since Gemma ran an online business and therefore wasn’t tied to a desk and a chair, she had decided to stay in London for a couple of days. Those couple of days had turned into two weeks and felt like two freaking months. Time slowed down when she was with Isaac; not that she complained.

She’d been with him constantly since they’d left Holmes Chapel. She wasn’t sure what they were. Friends? Way past that. Lovers? Not quite there. Friends who kissed? Well, sure, that might be a suitable label for their ‘relationship’. Gemma hated labels anyway, so it didn’t matter.

“Have you spoken to him?” Isaac asked, his arm wrapped around her shoulders. They were at his house, curled up in his bed, watching Netflix. Almost like a happy couple.

“Harry?” Her eyebrows furrowed as one of the characters was being brutally murdered on the screen. Isaac leaned forward and pressed pause right before the dead body collapsed.

Gemma gasped, “Hey!”

“You’ve already watched this,” he chuckled and removed the laptop from her lap before she could resume the movie.

“Still, that’s the best scene!”

He shook his head, placed the laptop on the other side of him and turned around, facing her. “Have you spoken to Asher?”

“No. He’s probably forgotten about me.”

“Gem…”

“Can we not mention my ex at this moment?”

“He’s not your ex yet, and you don’t want to mention him at any moment.” Isaac took her hand and brought it to his lap. “You need to break up with him.”

“He already broke up with me.”

“He said it was a break.”

She groaned and hugged a pillow to her chest. “He said it so he could hook up with whoever he wanted. He’s done this before, disappeared for a week or two. I was pretty sure he was hooking up with his secretary at the time, then he came back and acted like nothing was wrong. I just...I was stupid and I was in love with him. But not anymore. I’ve had enough.”

“So you’re just gonna wait until he reaches out to you, and then break up with him?”

“Yes. I want it to hurt.”

Isaac screwed up his face. “Why?”

“What do you mean why? After all that he’s done to me?”

“Do you still have feelings for him?” He tried to sound unbothered but she could see right through him. “Is that the reason why you’re so determined to make him feel equally bad?”

“No!” She shook her head, squeezing his hand. “I just don’t want him to think he’s so important. I’m not gonna reach out first. Now can we please get back to the movie?”

“Fine,” he huffed and brought the laptop back to his lap.

As she snuggled up to him and he draped his arm around her shoulders again, the buzzing of his phone on the nightstand interrupted them. She groaned when he withdrew himself from her.

“It could be Lee,” he said. Lee was his manager.

But it wasn’t Lee. She could see it on his face as he put down his phone as soon as he’d read the messages.

“Who’s that?”

“Your half-sister,” he said, drawing her back into his arms.

She lay her head on his chest, her eyebrows pulled together. “She’s still your model?”

“We had our last shoot yesterday. If you’d come, you could have met her.”

“It’s so weird that I haven’t.” She tilted her head up to look at his face. “Do you think she’s scared of me? Because I’m not as easy-going as Harry.”

“Probably.” A grin stretched his pink lips as she weakly hit his chest.

“Did you ever fancy her?” She arched an eyebrow so he mimicked her expression.

“Are you jealous of your own sister?”

“Half-sister.”

Her irritated tone got him laughing. “I mean, she is pretty.” He rubbed his chin thoughtfully, gazing at the ceiling. “Maybe a little.”

Gemma poked his side and he jerked away, doubling over and protecting his sensitive spots from her tickling. They nearly fell off the bed from laughing too hard. Somehow he ended up on his stomach and she on his back, their cheeks together.

He whispered, “Do you think Harry would like the idea of us?”

“Should we call and ask him?”

“Gemma.”

She giggled as his face turned serious. “Of course. You’re his best friend, right?”

“I don’t know about that. He didn’t talk to me until Y/N and I broke up.”

“That’s because she’s Y/N. He didn’t let me come to the treehouse because it was ‘their place’.” She rolled her eyes. “But it was mine first. Dad built it for me.” When she caught him gazing at her, she returned a look just as bemused. “What?”

“You said ‘Dad’. Not Winton.”

“Oh.” She rolled onto her back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. Isaac flipped over to lie on his side, his head propped up on his hand. She waited for another question, but he didn’t ask, so she went on, “I still won’t visit him or even talk to him. But I guess there was a time when he was good, and I should give the old him some credits. It’s easier to do that, now that I no longer have to deal with the consequences of him leaving.” She turned to smile at him. “Now that I’ve found someone who really cares about me.”

“Who’s that? Is it me?” He acted shocked and she shoved him away, cackling.

“Come on.” She sat up, grabbed the laptop and beckoned him over. “We still have to finish this terrible movie.”

A week later, Y/N came to Laura’s office after she’d finished two classes in the morning. Laura’s assistant told her Laura had taken a day off because she was sick. “She’s rescheduled the meeting with the publisher this afternoon,” said the assistant. “I was gonna call you but Ms Hilfgard said she’d tell you herself. She’s probably forgotten.”

Weird. Laura never forgot. She was like a machine when it came to business stuff, and Y/N had always wondered where that woman got all that energy. Laura must be very sick. Y/N normally would stay away from other people’s business, but she’d been inseparable from Laura recently, which gave her a sense of responsibility for her agent. She should probably check in on Laura.

“Is she at her flat today?” she asked the assistant, who seemed unsure.

“I think so. Would you like me to call her for you?”

“No, thank you. I’ll do it myself.”

Y/N adjusted her bag on her shoulder, wished the woman a good day and ambled out of the room. She tried calling Laura when she got into the lift, but Laura didn’t answer the phone. A throb in her stomach led her to believe something was wrong.

Everyone got sick once in a while so Laura couldn’t be an exception; she was human after all. But Y/N’s gut feelings were always correct. And if she chose to ignore them, it’d be her fault when something actually happened to Laura, who lived all by herself and had no close friend or family, none that Y/N knew of.

“Laura! It’s me, Y/N!” Y/N banged on the door after she’d rung the doorbell many times and there was no answer. “Laura! Your assistant told me you were sick. I came to check on you.”

Just as she imagined herself kicking down the door like those badass heroines in movies, she heard the sound of it being unlocked, the handle turned, and the door was opened. Her chest caved when Laura appeared, holding the door just wide enough to reveal half of her face. She was in her bathrobe without any makeup on, her skin marked with freckles, her lips dry, her eyes dark and weary, and her hair wasn’t pulled up into a neat bun like it always was. She looked like she’d gone through hell and back.

“Are you all right?” Y/N asked and immediately realised how stupid she’d sounded; of course, Laura wasn’t all right. Look at her.

“I’m very sorry, Y/N. You shouldn’t have come here.” Laura sounded spacey. The smell of alcohol on her breath was too strong. She held Y/N’s gaze, expecting Y/N to leave, but once she was sure Y/N wasn’t going anywhere, Laura stepped aside and opened the door a bit wider, just enough for Y/N to slip in.

The door was closed. They were standing in the semidarkness; there was still a bit of light coming through the dark blue curtain of the floor-to-ceiling windows. The evident of Laura’s despair was lying on the white carpet in the middle of the room – empty bottles after a wild alcohol-binge. She wasn’t sick. She was drunk.

Laura brushed past a bewildered Y/N and careened toward the sofa. The sofa legs creaked ominously under her weight.

“As you can see, I’m pretty much alive,” she said to the ceiling, an arm placed over her eyes. “You may leave now.”

Y/N wanted to leave. Whatever Laura was dealing with had nothing to do with her. She’d only come to make sure her agent was still alive, and Laura was just drunk for some unknown reason, but that was all Y/N should know. She should leave. Her brain told her to leave, but her guts told her Laura needed help.

She huffed and came to stand at one end of the sofa. “What’s going on? Did something happen?”

“It has nothing to do with you, Y/N.”

“You rescheduled a meeting with the publisher without asking me – your author, and then lied about being sick when you’ve been drinking your arse off. So yeah, it has a lot to do with me.”

As Laura didn’t answer, Y/N picked up the woman’s arm and tried to haul her out of the sofa. She resisted the effort, weakly pushing Y/N away.

“Fine. I’m leaving.” Y/N folded her arms over her chest. “Call me when you’ve sobered up.”

“I now see why he’s crazy about you.”

The words froze Y/N to the spot. She slowly turned around and backed away from the front door to return to her previous spot beside Laura. He? Who was he?

Laura’s eyelids fluttered like she was going to fall asleep, but then she continued, “He chose you over me because you’re young and beautiful and ambitious and kind…He chose you over me because...I’m the opposite…”

Y/N’s heart, head, and stomach pulsated at once. “Who...who are you talking about?”

“Blake.”

The name left her in shock. She blinked at Laura, feeling disoriented for a second. She hoped Laura was only messing with her. Laura and Blake? No fucking way.

“He ended it because of you,” Laura went on despite Y/N’s startlement. “We weren’t really together, but he made it clear that we’d never be anything.” She laughed loudly and mirthlessly, her thick dark hair bouncing on her slim shoulders. “You have a boyfriend, and he still chose you over me. I would call him stupid but what would it make me?” Then she glanced up, her glossy eyes filled with wondering and desperation.

Meanwhile, Y/N was stuck in rearranging her thoughts. Everything made sense – Blake had been their connection since the beginning, and Laura had heard so much about Y/N and Harry – but Y/N couldn’t bring herself to believe any of it. She clutched the strap of her handbag and took in the sight of Laura, trying to look for the badass woman hiding underneath.

“I think you should go,” Laura said to her feet and gestured toward the door. “I’ll call you once I’ve sobered up.”

“Do you have anyone else I can call–”

“I don’t need anyone, Y/N. Leave!”

“Okay,” Y/N murmured as she squared her shoulders, gripped the strap of her bag, and marched to the front door.

Thud Thud Thud

“Blake! We need to talk, Blake!”

Blake opened the door and sprang back before Y/N accidentally hit his face with her fist. “Did you sleep with Laura?” she bellowed before he could question, and he blinked as if she was speaking alien language.

“Laura Hilfgard,” her voice dropped, “My fucking agent. For fuck’s sake! Did you sleep with her?”

He still didn’t answer but the look on his face said it all. He couldn’t admit something so horrible.

“Goddamn it, Blake! Fuck!” she roared into her hands, her chest growing hot. When he tried to touch her, she pushed him away and stabbed a finger at his face. “You lied to me!”

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I’m so sorry–”

She held up a hand to stop him. “Oh, don’t fucking apologise to me. I’m not gonna accept it. Apologise to Laura.”

“We’re over.”

“Doesn’t fucking matter, Blake! It’s fucking sick that you slept with her so she would sign me! Fuck you!”

“Y/N!” He caught her wrist and she whipped around to fight him, but his fingers were quick to clasp her other wrist.

“Let me go!”

“Listen to me!” He shook her to get her to stop, and she did, panting and glowering at him. “I didn’t sleep with her so she’d sign you. Yes, I’d...I'd been sleeping with her before. That was how I knew her. I asked her to read your book and she loved it.”

“She only ‘loved’ it because she loved you, Blake!” Y/N yanked her hands back, tears welling up in her eyes. “You broke her and she cancelled the meeting with the publisher. She’s gonna drop me!”

“She won’t. I’ll talk to her–”

“I don’t fucking need your help, Blake. Just…” Y/N stepped back, holding up her hand to stop him from getting any closer. “Just don’t fucking talk to me again.”

“Y/N, please, hey.” He strode forward and got between her and her door, his desperate grey eyes begging her to hear him out. “I swear to you I didn’t do this on purpose. I just wanted to help. You were so desperate and I wanted you to be happy.”

“I was desperate but I wasn’t miserable,” she said through her gritted teeth. “You want me to be happy but what you did was awful, Blake. You made me feel like a talentless piece of shit, that if my boyfriend doesn’t get me a job, then my ex-boyfriend has to sleep with someone for it. God, what is wrong with you?”

“At least I gave your story to Laura and made her read it. Your boyfriend just fucking told John Conall to sign you. He doesn’t even care.”

“Don’t talk about Harry that way. He’s a thousand times better than you.” Then she froze. “How do you even know about Conall?”

“Laura knows him,” Blake said to his feet. “They talked.”

“Fuck this.”

She pulled out her keys and gestured him to get out of the way, but he refused to comply, shaking his head. She had never seen Blake Roman so despondent, and she didn’t like this side of him at all.

“I still love you, Y/N,” he said despite the fact that those were the last words she wanted to hear right now. “I’m sorry I left, but in the last three years, I couldn’t stop thinking about us, and how we could’ve figured out a way to be together instead of giving up. Then I met you here, and...and I–Listen, I’ve been trying to make it up to you–”

“Blake, please…” she breathed, her eyes tight.

“I know you still have feelings for me, Y/N. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have spent so much time with me. You rarely mentioned him when we were together. We have so much in common and we fit.”

“You’re wrong.” She stared dagger at him and unclenched her fists, taking a deep breath. “I rarely mentioned him because I didn’t want to hurt you. I knew you still had feelings for me. I guess I was wrong to want to keep you in my life as a friend when you don’t belong there anymore.”

“I do, Y/N. I do,” he fretted while she kept shaking her head.

“You don’t. You just...you just felt like childhood, which I can’t keep dwelling on anymore. Both of us need to grow up.” She inclined her head, arms wrapped around herself. “I’m sorry, Blake. I don’t think we can be friends anymore. Not after this.”

“Y/N.”

She didn’t look at him and rushed down the stairs, hoping he wouldn’t go after her. And he didn’t. She came dashing out of the building, her eyes prickling with tears. She couldn’t believe she’d doubted Harry and trusted Blake. She felt like such a fool. She hated herself.

Stopping on the side of the road, she fished her phone out of her handbag to call Harry. But then her screen flashed on with the notification of ‘11 missed calls from Laura H’. Her chest throbbed. She called Laura back.

Laura didn’t answer.

When Gemma stepped out of the lift, fumbling around in her bag for her room key, she almost didn’t notice the man waiting for her in the hallway.

“Gem.”

His voice froze her to the spot. She shot her head up, her heart rate increasing as Asher walked up to her holding a rose bouquet. He was dressed in a fine ocean-blue suit, his dark hair pushed back, the strong scent of his cologne so unbearable. He looked like he was here for a photoshoot or a red carpet event. When he cracked a smile, she responded with a grimace.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, unable to take her eyes off the flowers. The last time he’d got her flowers had been their first Valentine’s Day together; things had gone downhill after that.

“I came to see you,” he said. “To apologise.”

He held the flowers toward her with both hands, and she pushed them right back to him, shaking her head.

“I don’t need your apology,” she said. “You made it clear that day on the phone that this was over and I’m thankful for it.”

“I said ‘a break’.”

“You don’t get to call a break and come back whenever you feel like it,” Gemma said in annoyance. “That’s not how a relationship works.”

She gently pushed right past him to unlock the door. Right as she opened it, he slipped straight into her room. She stared at him, speechless. “Asher, leave.”

“I want to talk, please.”

Frustrated and annoyed, she slammed the door behind her, stormed toward the bed and flung her bag on it. He stood by the door with that stupid bouquet, waiting for his chance to speak.

“I can offer you a deal,” he blurted as she turned around. “You don’t have to get back with me. We can go separate ways after this.”

“Or we can go separate ways now.” She gestured to the door.

He pretended like he hadn’t heard that. “My father really likes you,” he said. “He thinks you keep me grounded. So I think...if you ask him for the investment, he’ll most likely say yes. I'll pay you. Please help me, Gem.”

“No!” Gemma put her hands on her hips, her mouth quirked in annoyance. “You’ve got some nerves to ask me that. We are not getting back together. Go find someone else dumb enough to help you.”

Asher’s mouth fell open. He must have come here thinking she would burst into tears and run into his arms the moment she saw him and forgive him like she always had. If so, he was destined for disappointment.

“What’s wrong with you?” he asked. “Why are you like this all of a sudden?”

“Why do I have common sense all of a sudden?” She cocked her head. “Maybe I’ve finally found someone who appreciates me, and is not only with me because he can use me for his own benefit.”

Asher was shallow but he wasn’t stupid. Realization soon dawned on his face. “Have you been cheating on me?”

Before he’d come here, she’d imagined this moment to be extremely awkward, but now she was full of rage. “You and I are not together anymore, Asher,” she snapped. “But well, I did kiss him once when we were ‘together’.”

“You fucking bitch,” Asher bellowed as he threw himself at her. Everything happened so quickly her brain failed to catch on. The next thing she knew, she was on the floor, gripping the edge of the table, her head in pain. She spotted the horror on her ex’s face before he broke into a run out of the room, so she reached for her head and looked at her own fingers.

Blood.

He’d pushed her.

Shocked and dizzy, she held the table for support to stand up and hobbled into the bathroom where she grabbed a hand towel, wetted it and tried to clean the wound on her forehead. That was when she heard the door open and close. She spun around, horrified. It was just Isaac.

“What happened?!” He rushed toward her, held her face between his cold palms.

“Asher came here…” was all she could say while shaking her head, feeling herself going unsteady.

“Did he fucking hit you?” Isaac ground his jaw, his eyes turning dark.

She shuddered at the thought and felt hot tears in the wells of her eyes. “I think he pushed me,” she mumbled.

“Fuck!”

She fisted his shirt, afraid that he might run after Asher, who must have been long gone by now. But Isaac didn’t bother to ask about the arsehole. He inspected the wound on her forehead and encircled his arms around her. “Come on,” he said. “I’ll take you to the hospital.”

“Can I see her?” Y/N asked.

“Not yet,” the nurse answered.

“Is she okay?”

“She will be,” the nurse told Y/N while scribbling something on the clipboard. She’d asked Y/N a bunch of questions about Laura, most of which Y/N had answered with “I don’t know”. She didn’t know if Laura was a regular drinker or if she often drank to drunkenness. Y/N only knew what she’d witnessed – Laura blacked out on her bedroom floor with empty bottles scattering all around.

Laura had been taken to the emergency room where they gave her fluids. The doctor had briefed Y/N, saying Laura had got alcohol poisoning from her alcohol binge, and if Y/N hadn’t found her – if she’d locked the door after Y/N had left – then something terrible could have happened tonight. Y/N wasn’t sure if Laura would be okay, but things could have gone worse and she was grateful it hadn’t.

“Is there any family member that we could call?” asked the nurse, who was finally making eye contact with Y/N.

“I-I don’t know. I’m just her client,” Y/N said, rubbing her palms together nervously. “Maybe uhm...maybe I can call her assistant.”

“It’s fine. She’s in a better condition now. We’ll just get information from her when she wakes up.”

Y/N thanked the nurse and sat in one of the chairs in the hallway. She thought of calling Harry but didn’t have any motivation to do it, so she sat with her head against the wall, watching the nurses’ station while she waited for better news.

She didn’t know what time it was. She was already fatigued. She felt herself drifting away when a voice pulled her right back.

“Y/N?”

She looked up. Isaac and Gemma were just as shocked to see her. Gemma didn’t look like herself; she was wearing an oversized black hoodie with the hood on, covering her forehead. Y/N didn’t want to assume the hoodie was Isaac’s, but something told her it wasn’t Gemma’s.

“What...are you guys doing here?” Y/N slowly rose from her seat, her eyes switching back and forth between Isaac and Gemma. “Together.”

Isaac worked his jaw, unable to get any word out as he looked over at Gemma imploringly, and she heaved a sigh. Y/N was losing patience with the suspense when Gemma pulled back the hood to reveal her bandaged forehead.

“Oh my God, what happened?” Y/N gasped, pushing past Isaac to grab Gemma’s shoulders. “Did you get into an accident?”

“Y-Yeah.” Gemma looked unconfident, her eyes searching for Isaac’s again. Something was wrong, and neither of them wanted to tell Y/N what it was. She would have been mad if she didn’t have her own problems to worry about. What a crazy day it had been.

She was going to ask Isaac why he’d been the one to take Gemma to the hospital, but he went first. “Why are you here?”

“A friend of mine got into trouble,” she said. It was only fair that she got to be ambiguous too.

“Alice?” Gemma looked concerned.

“No.”

Isaac grimaced. “Eddie?”

“No!” Y/N rolled her eyes at their surprised reactions. “You guys really assume I have only two friends in London?”

“You do have only two friends in London,” Isaac said, beaming, “Besides us.”

Y/N assumed he meant him, Niall, and Harry. He wasn’t entirely wrong, but she wasn’t going to give him that.

For the second time, she meant to ask why he’d taken Gemma here, but right as she opened her mouth, a nurse showed up with a clipboard.

“Miss Styles," she called.

“Yes?” Gemma whipped around as the nurse sauntered right past her like she wasn’t there.

Confused and surprised, they all watched the nurse head toward the end of the hallway, where sat a brunette with her headphones on. Her hair was covering her face as she was looking down at her phone. The nurse had to tap her on the shoulder to get her attention. She glanced up, eyes popping out the moment she saw them. Y/N, Isaac, and Gemma looked like they’d seen a ghost.

“Emilia Styles,” repeated the nurse since Emilia wasn’t looking at her. “You can see your mother now.”

Y/N glanced over at Isaac and Gemma, who looked as if they’d seen a ghost. The nurse said something else to Emilia and went into one of the rooms. Emilia told the nurse she’d be right back as she shoved her headphones into her tote bag, got up and made way toward Y/N, Isaac and Gemma.

“I didn’t expect to see you here,” she said with a pretentious smile; it was the same smile she always wore, but it was only until this moment that Y/N realized how pompous it was.

“Drop the act,” Y/N snapped. “Are you gonna fucking tell us why you’re here? Or should we go ask your mum who is still ALIVE?”

Isaac held her back by the arm before she could even consider doing something to Emilia. She didn’t want to get violent; she wasn’t that type of person. Not yet.

“Fine.” The fake smile disappeared as Emilia stood taller despite having been exposed. “My mum’s alive,” she calmly confessed. “She has cancer, and my dad doesn’t work anymore so I have to take care of them.”

“With Harry’s money?” Gemma snarled. Y/N believed if Gemma’s head wasn’t hurt, she would have already torn Emilia to pieces.

“I didn’t take anything Harry didn’t want to give.” Emilia crossed her arms and lifted her chin, which made Y/N more shocked than angry; she didn’t know it was possible to be this shameless.

“So everything was fake?” Y/N asked. “You made up a nice little story calling your mum crazy for burning down the house and–”

“It was my dad,” Emilia said with her eyes closed as she sucked in an unsteady breath and opened her eyes at the long exhalation. “He was drunk and he set the house on fire. That was after my mum had been diagnosed with cancer. He was very upset because we didn’t have enough money for the treatment. I had to drop out and use my college money for it.” Then she swallowed and looked over at Isaac, who’d been speechless the whole time. “I’m sorry, Isaac. But when we met I recognised you right away. I knew you were Harry’s friend, and I saw you as an opportunity. We had to lie because Harry didn’t trust us at first; he thought Dad was a terrible man–”

“No decent man would lie to his own son to steal his money!”

“We weren’t stealing!” Emilia half-shouted at Gemma then frantically looked around. A few nurses stared at them with concern but no one attempted to interfere. Emilia turned back to Gemma and lowered her voice, “We were gonna tell him everything.”

“When?” Y/N scoffed. “When your mum gets better? Or when you finally become a successful actress living off Harry’s fame?”

“I started with a lie and I had to go through it.” Emilia huffed, her forehead creased. “Things have got so much better since Harry came into our lives. He paid off our bank debt, for Dad’s medicines, for our food. We never asked him for more money. We simply sold the expensive stuff he bought for us as gifts to pay the hospital bills for Mum. I still have to go to work, but now I can also go to auditions. And Harry doesn’t lose anything. He loves Dad, and he’s rich anyway.”

“Harry worked for everything he owns now,” Gemma hissed. “Your dad doesn’t get to live on the money of the son he left and tried to steal from.”

Emilia’s lips quirked in a scornful manner. “You’re just bitter because Dad doesn’t love you.”

Y/N’s gaze jumped to Gemma, whose face was white with shock. She didn’t expect that. None of them expected that. It was so hurtful. Because it was the truth...

“It was my plan. Dad just went along with it,” Emilia went on despite Gemma’s fists shaking as she refrained herself from tackling Emilia to the floor. Emilia knew Y/N and Gemma couldn’t do anything to her in a hospital hallway, and Isaac would never lay hands on a woman. She considered Gemma’s face. “He just wanted my mum to get better. We knew Harry wouldn’t help us if he had to go behind yours and your mum’s back, so I had to reach out to you first. I had to gain your approval.”

“Sorry to disappoint,” Gemma sneered and waved her hand when Emilia gazed at her alarmedly. “Do go on. When will we get to the part where you’re forgivable?”

“Say anything you want, but I did it for a reason,” Emilia murmured, her eyes piercing at Gemma. “What are your reasons for cheating on your boyfriend and sleeping with your brother’s best friend?”

Gemma growled and launched herself at Emilia, who jumped right back as Isaac dragged Gemma away. A few nurses had gathered to watch them, unsure if it was necessary to call security. The four of them weren’t really fighting or being loud, but Y/N wasn’t sure how long they could maintain peace.

“Did I say something wrong?” Emilia looked at Isaac, whose eyes fastened on Y/N’s face at once.

“You two?” Y/N stared at him and Gemma in disbelief.

“Asher and I are over, Y/N,” Gemma said, reaching for Y/N’s hand. Y/N let her hold it, only because Y/N was too shocked to move.

“Does Harry know?” she asked quietly. Gemma and Isaac both shook their heads.

“Guess I’m not the only one who lied to Harry after all.”

Isaac shot Emilia a glare even though his features were incredibly calm. “Why haven’t you told him?”

“This isn’t a game of Truth or Dare,” she told him. “I’m not gonna blackmail you into doing something for me in return for my silence. I’m not a good person but I’m not that awful. I just wanted to help my mum. I don’t care what it takes.” Her voice suddenly dropped as she took a step further from them. “And I really liked you, Isaac. I’m sorry.”

Y/N could tell Isaac had a lot he wanted to say to Emilia, but he kept his lips tight because she wasn’t worth it. From the way Emilia was looking at him, she must regret lying to him the most. What about Harry? Harry didn’t deserve this. He’d been nothing but kind to her and Winton.

“Miss Y/L/N?” a nurse interjected. She was the one who’d spoken to Y/N about Laura. “Your friend is awake. Would you like to see her?” she told Y/N, who sighed in relief. At least this night didn’t go all the way down a pit of despair.

“I have to go,” she told Isaac and Gemma.

Isaac caught Y/N’s elbow before she could follow the nurse. “You’re not gonna tell Harry, are you?”

“I’m not gonna do the hard work for you three,” she said, giving all of them – even Emilia – a disappointed look. “You’re all going to tell him tomorrow. Not tonight. I don’t want his night to be ruined as well.” Then she fixed her eyes on Emilia, whose face was blank; either she hid her emotions really well, or she didn’t feel like any normal person would. Y/N stabbed a finger at Emilia, her voice rough, “You and your family better stay the fuck away from my boyfriend, or you’re gonna have to deal with his lawyer, and it won’t be pretty.”

The other nurses looked scared when Y/N caught them watching. She couldn’t even work up a smile as she mouthed the word “sorry” and marched right past them.

#my girl series

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iwriteforharry · 7 years

Text

a broken promise- h.s imagine

Harry opened his eyes slowly, his eyes adjusting to the small light that entered his bedroom when Anne opened the door. Anne walked into the room slowly with a glass of water in her hands. She placed it down on the bedside table next to the untouched plate of food she brought up just a couple of hours ago.

Harry closed his eyes once more as he pulled the blanket tighter against his body. Anne took a seat on the bed next to him and began running her hand through his hair. “It’s heartbreaking to see you this way” Anne whispered quietly.

Harry remained silent, used to hearing the same words used by all his friends and family:

“Everything’s going to be okay someday”-How could it be? He just lost his best friend.

“Just know she’s in a happier place”- Could it be such a happy place if she wasn’t here on Earth anymore? “She lived a happy life.” - She could be living a happy, longer life. With him.

Anne’s eyes glanced to the picture frame that was on the bedside table. She stared at the picture taken about three years ago. As she continued staring at the picture, her eyes started to well up with tears.

Y/N was carefully wiping the cake off her nose, careful to not wipe off any of her makeup. Harry was standing next to her, rubbing a towel against his cheek. Y/N looked at him through the reflection of the washroom mirror. “I thought we agreed to not be those cliche couples that smash the cake into each other’s face” you joked.

Harry removed the towel from his face and smiled. “Love, it’s a tradition! Everyone does it on their wedding day” he pointed out as he turned to look at you properly. Y/N let out a chuckle as she threw away the tissue into a nearby trashcan. “Did you really have to smash it against me that hard though?”

Harry walked over to his new wife and wrapped his arms around her waist. “I’m sorry Mrs. Styles. It was never my intention.” Y/N softly smiled as she straightened out her new husband’s tie. “It’s alright. I know you’ll make up it up to me tonight” Y/N smirked, her hands resting on his chest.

Harry’s eyes went wide as Y/N tried to hold back her giggle. Harry placed his hands on Y/N’s waist, careful not to stand on her beautiful, white dress. “Mrs. Styles, are you flirting with me?” Y/N let out a chuckle before she stepped out of Harry’s hold. The newly wed couple exited the washroom and began walking towards where the reception was being held.

Just before they waked in, Harry turned to his wife. “Ready?” Y/N smiled as she nodded her head, “Always.”

The room was filled with friends and family. Everyone static to celebrate Y/N and Harry’s love. There was a sense of happiness that floated around the room. One of the photographers noticed the couple walking in. Immediately he pulled out his camera, “Smile, lovebirds!”

Harry pulled Y/N close to him, his hand on her waist as he placed a kiss on the cheek. Y/N placed her hand on Harry’s check as she looked at the camera and smiled.

Anne fiddled with her fingers on her lap. Lately it’s been hard talking to her son. For all his life, he could talk to her. When he was little and got a scape on the knee, she could put a bandaid on it and everything will be right in the world. When he was a teen and just experienced his first heartbreak, Anne was the one to tell him there were so many other fishes in the sea and to stop dwelling on someone that wasn’t worth his time. When Harry first introduced Y/N to Anne, she was the one that told him that Y/N was special and to never let her go.

What was she supposed to do when he lost his wife?

Harry opened his eyes, his eyes looking everywhere else but at Anne. “Mum, just…I want to be alone.” Harry’s raspy voice let out as he buried himself more into the blankets on the bed.

Anne bit her lip as she nodded her head. Quietly she let herself out of what used to be Y/N and Harry’s shared room.

Harry ran his hand over his face, his bloodshot eyes staring at the papers in front of him. Gemma and Anne quietly sat on both sides of Harry, watching his every move.

“Would you like the deceased to be buried or cremated?”

Harry closed his eyes to prevent the tears threatening to spill out of his eyes. He took a deep breath, his leg beginning to bounce as his hands began to shake.

Gemma cleared her throat. “Buried,” Gemma whispered quietly. Anne reached over and grabbed Harry’s hand. Her heart filling with sorrow.

The funeral director nodded. His mouth set in a straight line. “Will you be going with the traditional ceremony with a casket present or not present?”

Suddenly, Harry stood up and walked out the room. Gemma was quick to go after her younger brother while Anne stayed back with the director.

“Harry!” Gemma called out as Harry was pacing out the door. Gemma placed her hand on his shoulder, trying to get him to slow down. Harry turned around and quickly hugged his sister as he sobbed into her neck. Gemma was quick to wrap her arms around him, her own tears began to pour.

Gemma walked down the stairs, a baby monitor in her hands. Y/N was sitting down on the couch sipping a glass of wine. Gemma let out a breath as she plopped down next to her. “Little bugger is finally asleep.”

Y/N smiled. “You have a beautiful little girl, Gem.” Gemma turned her head and smiled at Y/N. “Thanks love but trust me, when you and Harry have children of your own, they’ll be absolutely gorgeous.”

Y/N blushed at Gemma’s words. Her finger tip tracing the wine glass. A moment of silence passed before Gemma finally spoke up. “Have you guys talked about having children?”

Y/N sighed. “We have. But…I don’t know if we’re quite ready.” Y/N admitted as she turned her body towards Gemma and leaned her head against the couch.

Gemma picked up her own wine glass before turning to Y/N as well. “You guys have been married for two years now. Surely you guys are ready.” Y/N shook her head as she stared into her glass. “His album is almost about to release. Then he’s going to have to go on press tours, then soon enough an actual tour. He’s going to be gone for a long time. I don’t think I can handle being pregnant by myself yet alone care for a newborn.”

Gemma nodded, her mind flashing back to when she first had her daughter. She doesn’t know what she would’ve done without her husband helping along the way. “I think you and Harry are able to take over the world.”

Y/N let out a chuckle. Gemma shook her head, “No, I’m serious. It’s hard and almost rarely seeing a love that you and Harry have. It’s the kind of love you see in movies. I don’t think anything or anyone can ruin that. Having a baby, having children will bring the two of you closer if humanly possible. And Y/N, I know my brother will love that little bug more than life itself. I know he’s willing to drop anything and everything for you. I believe in you guys.”

Y/N’s head tilted as she smiled at her sister in law. Careful not to spill her drink, she leaned over and pulled Gemma in for a hug. “I think the best part of marrying Harry was getting you as a sister.” Y/N admitted. Gemma softly smiled as she returned the hug.

Harry walked into his room and shut the door. He instantly went to Y/N’s side of the bed. He didn’t bother taking off his clothes nor did he bother wiping his tear stained face. He had an excuse. He just came back from Y/N’s fucking funeral.

Harry looked over to Y/N’s bedside table. Everything remained untouched from the last time Y/N was here. Y/N’s reading glasses were on top of her favorite novel that she’s read too many times to count. Her favorite candle to light around fall was halfway gone. There was an empty glass that was always filled because she would always be incredibly thirsty when she woke up in the morning.

Lying on the middle of the table was Y/N’s engagement ring.

Harry demanded that Y/N was buried with her wedding band on. In his head it meant that Y/N would be with him forever. Harry picked up the engagement ring. As he stared at the beautiful ring that took a pretty big chunk out of his bank account, memories of his marriage started to play in his head: how he asked Y/N’s parents for her hand in marriage, how he picked out the ring with both Anne and Y/N’s mother, how he proposed, how Y/N looked when he got down on his knee. He thought about the pride he felt when he would hold Y/N’s hand and feel her ring on her, he thought about the fights that only made them stronger. He thought about how he was supposed to fucking grow old with Y/N. He thought about it all.

And it killed him.

“Gah!” Harry yelled out in frustration as he threw the ring across the room. Harry wrapped his arms around himself as he laid his head against Y/N’s pillow, her smell still lingering. Harry let out a sob. He stared at the ceiling. “You promised! You fucking promised!” Harry yelled through his sobs, his hands flying to his face.

One night when Harry and Y/N were both 18, they took a drive together. They let the night carry them away. The car ride was filled with laughter, smiles, story telling, happiness. They drove until they were miles away from the city. They were driving away from all their troubles, promising to return.

Eventually they stopped in a field a hundred miles away from civilization. The only light was from the lantern Harry kept in his car for emergencies. Harry and Y/N were laying on the hood of his car, staring at the million of stars in front of them, something you would never be able to see in a busy city like London.

“Does it ever scare you?” Y/N whispered, her eyes never once leaving the beautiful sight in front of her. Harry looked over at his girlfriend, his eyebrows raised. “About what, love?”

Y/N looked at those beautiful green eyes she would always get lost in. “About how fast everything is changing for us?”

And things were changing. Harry was in one of the biggest bands in history, their success growing more and more each day while Y/N tackled the hardship of being a uni student. It was a sore topic. To talk about the idea of someday growing apart.

Harry nodded his head as he gave Y/N’s hand a squeeze. “Sometimes it scares me. It scares me how much I love you. How much I adore you. How I couldn’t see myself with any other person than you.”

Harry’s words brought a smile to Y/N’s face. She leaned up and looked at her boyfriend. “I will love you forever, Harry Styles.”

Harry leaned up, a smile decorated on his face. He brought Y/N’s hands to his lips, placing a kiss on it. “Promise me something, petal?” Y/N nodded her head, “Anything, H.”

“Promise me no matter what obstacles come our way, no matter what life throws at us, no matter how many people are telling us no, promise me. Promise you’ll never leave me.”

Y/N smiled. This was a promise she would be sure to keep. Nothing would make her say otherwise. She placed a small kiss on Harry’s lips. With her forehead leaning against his, “I promise.”

Harry pulled his knees to his chest. He began to rock back and forth, the tears never leaving his eyes. Through his sobs, Harry whispered to himself, “You promised.”

eh idk. is this too repetitive to the things i write? lol at first i was like damn this gonna be good but then i was like oh god AM I SELLING OUT.

idk! let me know what you guys thought!

you can find the rest of my writing here

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fromherlips · 6 years

Photo

happy part six of a face to call home! it wouldn’t be the holidays if heva didn’t make an appearance, would it? this is the only non-winter related bit of ‘brace your elf’ december, but it’s been a while and we all deserve to know what’s going on with harry, eva & co. enjoy!

march 2030: one too many shopping bags (gif 2)

“How come Maeve and Eva got to go out shopping for the afternoon while we’re stuck with these terrors?” Harry asked, watching as Niall’s two sons Emmett and Dylan chased around Madeleine and Phoebe. The four of them ran circles throughout the open layout of the living room, their feet padding against the floor in loud, anti-rhythmic patterns, almost like their own personal stampede.

Niall snorted, leaning back against the cushion of the sofa as he began to settle in. “Your wife is creeping closer to her due date while mine is still nursing our nine-month-old, let them have a day out,” Niall replied, his head immediately turning when he heard the sound of a loud thump. Madeleine immediately called out that everything was fine, which was usually a sign that everything was not fine. Seconds later, the group came barreling through the living room again, no tears or ailments in sight.

“Fair enough,” Harry agreed. “How’s Regan?”

“I can’t say that I don’t love her because I do, but I would really love her more if she slept through the night,” Niall admitted. “She’s cute as all hell though. I reckon she got my looks, eh?”

Harry snorted. “She is Maeve through and through, but you tell yourself that Niall.”

“Ah, you’re just mad that Maddie and Pheebs are spitting images of Eva,” Niall replied. “Wonder what the little guy is going to look like.”

“Me too,” Harry admitted. “I cannot believe it’s only a couple of months away now. Seems like just yesterday that Eva told me she was pregnant again.”

“Time flies, especially with you guys,” Niall said. “I mean, Eva’s got everything with her brand and you’re writing a ton now that the girls are in school, right?”

Harry shrugged. “A decent amount,” he replied. “I’m telling you, it’s Maddie and Phoebe that keep everything going. I can’t believe they’re six and three, it’s mental.”

“You’re telling me! Dylan’s four and a half and Emmett is three going on eighty. He’s such a little old man, I love him,” Niall said.

“Sounds like your son then,” Harry joked, jabbing his mate in the side with his elbow. “Want to know what’s really mental?”

“Hm?” Niall hummed, turning to look at Harry.

“Those four kids? That was us, like, a little less than twenty years ago,” Harry pointed out, wincing at his own attempt at aging himself.

Niall cackled, chucking his head back while he laughed at the ceiling. “Mate, shut up,” Niall said, shaking his head. “Can’t believe all the trouble we got ourselves into on those first tours.”

“I can’t believe the five of us didn’t kill each other by accident,” Harry said. “I mean, Louis was a nightmare. He and Zayn together terrified me.”

“Because no one ever knew what they were up to!” Niall added. “I mean, at least we knew you were running around somewhere partially dressed while Liam was working out and I was…what the hell was I doing?”

Harry shrugged. “I was apparently too busy running around somewhere with a majority of my clothes off.”

Niall laughed, smacking Harry’s arm with the back of his hand. “Piss off.”

It was rare that Harry had a chance to see the rest of the lads regularly. Niall lived in Ireland, Liam and Louis both in London, and Harry still in New York City. It wasn’t just the distance because it never was. They each had their own families now, their own lives that took up more time than any of them would’ve expected when they were younger. It was naïve, sure, but it all ended up worth it, even if it meant that visits were less frequent and texting became a main form of communication.

Niall and Maeve spent a week in New York at least once a year, renting a space that wasn’t far from Harry and Eva’s flat so they had enough space to manage their family as well. It was always great to see Niall again, but it also gave Eva an opportunity to hang out with Maeve. She had other friends from the girls’ school and people she knew from work, but it was always important to her to be friends with Maeve, Sophia, and Eleanor. She knew it meant a lot to Harry. The boys were bonded for life, and somehow their significant others latched onto each other to create a similar bond.

“So, any updates on the move to Los Angeles?” Niall asked.

“Not quite,” Harry replied. “If I bring it up, it stresses Eva out and that’s obviously the last thing that I want to do. But…I mean, look at this place. It’s too small.”

“You guys have been here for years,” Niall said. “Since…before Maddie, right?”

Harry nodded. “This was the first place we moved into after we got married,” Harry said. “I love it here, but we’ve outgrown it. And…I don’t know, I feel like this is just a really good time, especially with a new baby. That probably sounds contradictory, but…”

“I understand,” Niall interjected, stopping Harry from going on one of his famous ramblings. “Look, everything will work out with the move. I mean, you both want to move, right?”

“Yes and no,” Harry admitted. “Eva gets nervous about work stuff, even though she’s had an established and successful team out in LA for a few years now and has essentially delegated all of her New York office work to other people since Phoebe was born. Everything for her brand is smooth-sailing. It’s just…”

“She’s not ready to let go of New York yet,” Niall said, finishing Harry’s statement.

“I’m assuming,” Harry replied with a sigh. “And I get it, so I try not to push it. But at some point, we have to have this conversation because as of right now, my son doesn’t have a room of his own in this flat. Or really, anywhere to go in here.”

“You guys are gonna be fine,” Niall assured Harry. “Have you talked to Louis lately?”

“Erm, not in a few weeks I guess,” Harry replied. “I think Eva’s talked to El though. Why?”

“Mate, Marcus went on his first date the other night and Louis was fucking hysterical,” Niall said. “I mean, could you imagine Lou talking to Marcus about this kind of stuff? Lord help Marcus when he starts sneaking out to meet girls.”

Harry snorted, shaking his head at Niall. “God, I can’t believe Marcus is old enough to date,” Harry said. “He’s what, 13 now? And then you have Liam with Isaac who’s about 11. They’re so old.”

“We’re so old,” Niall corrected Harry. “This is what we always wanted though, right? The life after the band?”

“Absolutely,” Harry replied. He smiled at the mere thought of Eva, the way she woke up him up an hour before his alarm to help rub her calves because she had another leg cramp. She stopped being apologetic after Maddie, not that Harry ever minded in the first place. Sure, sleeping in would’ve been nice, but it also gave them an extra hour alone before the girls woke up, a rarity in their busy lives.

Catching up with Niall was always comforting, in a way. Harry had mates outside of the guys from the band, but it always felt more like being around family than anything else. To Maddie and Phoebe, they weren’t just some guys that their dad used to be in a band with. They were Uncle Niall, Uncle Liam, Uncle Lou, just as much a part of the family as their Auntie Gemma and Eva’s brothers and sister-in-laws. He reckoned that Phoebe and Maddie enjoyed seeing Niall and his kids just as much as seeing their cousins from California.

Maeve and Eva were only gone for a few hours, each toting quite a few bags when they walked back into the flat. Immediately, the four kids ran to their mums with their arms outstretched, demanding hugs as if they’d been abandoned by all parental supervision since they had left. Niall and Harry remained seated, waiting for the parade of children led by their wives came through the living room instead.

“Ah, my two favorite girls,” Niall cooed, pushing himself off of the sofa when he saw Maeve carrying Regan close to her chest in her fancy baby wrap. “Did you get me anything good?”

“As if you need anything new,” she scoffed. “I, however, don’t fit into anything anymore after this one no matter what I do, so I caved and got some new bits so I’m not wearing pajamas all day long.”

“She doesn’t mean it,” Niall whispered, kissing Regan on the top of her head, a mop of blonde wispy hair sticking up every which way. “What about you, Ev?”

“Considering I’m the size of a whale at the moment, I just got some bags and beauty bits,” she replied, rolling her eyes at Harry’s quirked brows. They had a brief conversation about downsizing a few weeks prior, one he thought would be a precursor to a serious talk about moving but ended up in a twenty-four hour long silent treatment. It ended in sobs and apologies, but it still put a sour taste in his mouth every time he went to bring up the subject again.

Maddie rushed over to Eva, tugging on the bottom of her jumper with one of her hands. “Mummy, does this mean Dylan and Emmett have to leave now?” she asked, her lips turned downwards into a dramatic frown.

“Of course not,” Eva replied. “I think Uncle Niall and Aunt Maeve are going to stay for a while longer, and they don’t leave until the end of the week sweetie.”

Harry watched his daughter’s eyes light up, immediately turning on her heel so she could barrel towards Dylan full force. She had nearly two years on him and quite a few inches, but he scurried away faster than expected, dodging her tag attempt with ease. Maeve and Niall sat side by side on the sofa across the living room, ogling at Regan while Eva attempted to get comfortable next to Harry.

With his arm draped loosely around her shoulder, he leaned down to press a kiss against her temple. “Did you have a nice time?” he asked, his voice too low to be heard across the room over their giggling kids.

“I miss Maeve so much,” Eva admitted. “I…sometimes I feel alone in New York, even if we have my whole team and the parents from school.”

“I understand,” Harry murmured, gently squeezing her shoulder for support. “I’m glad you had a good day though, you deserve it.”

“Everything went well today with Niall?”

“Of course,” Harry replied. “It’s always nice to catch up in person. Plus, the girls are loving having the boys to play with.”

“You know, Maddie told me she was in love with Alfie the other day,” Eva replied, stifling her laughter with the back of her hand. “I texted Soph immediately, it was hilarious. I think she saw their Christmas card or something when we were going through things and pointed right at Alfie and announced it.”

“Oh boy,” Harry sighed.

“If he looks like Liam did when he gets older though, I mean, I won’t blame her,” Eva said. Harry raised his brows, pushing his upper body away from her for a moment. “Don’t give me that look. Liam was hot. Maeve!”

Maeve immediately looked up, brows quirked while she waited for Eva to say something. “What’s up?”

“Wasn’t Liam super hot when you met him?”

“Just when I met him?” Maeve asked. “I mean, he’s aged just as well, if not better than David Beckham so…”

“Niall, I’m starting to think we were second choices,” Harry sighed.

Niall shrugged. “Whatever,” he said. “It paid off in the long run.”

“You weren’t my second choice, H,” Eva said, resting her head on Harry’s shoulder. “And don’t you even bring up 2016.”

Harry snickered, leaning down to press a kiss against the top of Eva’s head. “Alright love.”

#not a lot of heva in this one but i hope you enjoyed niall and harry time!#1dff #ftch #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fics #holiday 2017

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jazzyhazzy · 6 years

Text

Girls Like You - Chapter Twenty One - Christmas

Christmas Eve Eve

Staring upwards, my vision is flooded with twinkling lights, soft, warm sparkles fading in and out all in synchronised rhythm. I just had to take a moment, a breather, I needed to feel to cool wooden floor under me, so I shimmied my face under the skirt of the Christmas tree and lay there, staring up through the branches of woody pine at the lights, and the sparkle of the decorations, losing myself in the smell of the needles, the sound of Wham! ‘Last Christmas’ quietly humming throughout the entire house.

This is my first Christmas in the house.

Our first time hosting our families.

The first time we’re having to pull out the stops for Christmas, and believe me, I thought it would be a lot simpler than this. I failed to take into account how many guests we were going to be having, as well as how big the house is - decorating it has required a lot of help from Sav and Harry was required on many occasions to reach all of the high places we couldn’t quite get to.

He has fussed over me relentlessly since the transplant, and while it was bearable at first, it has quickly become tiring. I’ve thrown myself into Christmas, not only because it’s the most wonderful time of the year - duh - but also because it keeps me busy, but as I lay here under the tree having an internal meltdown, I feel I may have bitten off more than I can chew.

Nonetheless, I am determined to pull it all together, even if it means I have to stay up all night. I am going to be the Queen of Christmas. I’m going to put even my Mum to shame.

Frankie and Edgar’s noses sniff at me under the tree and try to shimmy under as well to see what I’m up to under here. They hate to miss out on anything, especially if it involves me, they truly are my babies, and Harry has had to get used to them sprawling out on the bed with us every night. “They’re going to get much bigger you know” I reminds me every time, as I scratch their noses while they sleep at the foot of our bed, not taking up much space.

I exhale, the needles of the tree blowing with the sudden exasperated gust.

“Alright under there?” Harry crouches down and peeks under the tree at me. He’s put his Christmas jumper on and has decorations hanging off his ears. I smile at him, but it doesn't last long as I remember the amount of food I still have to prepare, and it’s not even Christmas day till the day after tomorrow.

“There’s so much to do.” I groan, turning back to look up the lights, wishing I could just stay right here until some fairy godmother comes along and finishes everything up for me. I focus on the lights again, letting the sweet croons of George Michael fill my ears.

Harry grabs my ankles and pulls me out from underneath the tree. He towers above me with his hands on his hips, and he looks fucking adorable in his red jumper with reindeers jumping all over it. He’s still wearing the baubles on his ears and they’re jumping about frantically as he shakes his head. I giggle at his stern face “Uhh... ‘scuse me? Are you forgetting that my first job was a baker love?” he tells me, matter-of-factly.

“You worked in a bakery, you weren't actually the baker” I point out, squealing as he growled and picked me up, trying to be scary but I knew better, he still acts like I’m made of glass, even though I’ve almost fully recovered now. “You take that back! You know I’m good!” he protests, he holds me upside down like I weigh nothing to him, but my hands frantically grapple at his legs, trying to hold on for dear life.

Frankie and Edgar are going crazy, barking at him and nipping at his ankles, telling him to put their Mummy down. “AHHH Eddie OWWWW!” he yelps, dropping me gently down on the couch and picking Edgar up instead, growling at him and then showering his muzzle with kisses while Frankie jumps up on me and licks my face, they know he’s only playing.

We’re both in fits of giggles at the pups, and I smile up at him, cradling Edgar in his arms. He won't be able to do that for much longer, they’re going to get so much bigger, but for right now, I can still squeeze them into some gorgeous puppy christmas sweaters. As unbelievably tacky as they are, they’re also hilarious, so I obviously couldn't refuse.

“There’s no way we’re not getting a family pic of us and the dogs in front of the tree tomorrow night” Harry tells me, “With our matching sweaters” I add, lifting my chin so he can bend over, resting his hands on the back of the couch and leaning his head down to kiss me, once, twice, three times. It’s become so normal for us that we barely ever just kiss once anymore.

“We need to get our butts back into the kitchen woman, we have mothers coming tomorrow that we need to impress!” he reminds me, and I groan, sinking into the couch and cuddling Frankie close, kissing the top of her head as she wriggles in my grip, fighting for freedom.

Reluctantly, I let him pull me back to my feet and we both pad back into the kitchen, donning our aprons and getting our hands dirty again to make mince pies, pavlova’s and all other good things. Our Christmas music continues to blare over the speakers, our hips bumping every now and again to the beats as we laugh and sing to one another. I cut out gingerbread men while he whips up pastry for the mince pies. Our pups curled up together in their bed by their bowls, never far from us.

In this precise moment, I think back to when I was a heartbroken young girl who’s parents had just divorced, all those years ago I had adamantly wished upon a star one Christmas eve for a perfect boyfriend and a perfect Christmas and a perfect house and a perfect everything. If only I could go back and let younger Blair know that for once, her wish came true.

While it’s not perfect everything, it’s pretty damn close, I think, as I grab a small fistful of flour and blow it all over Harry’s face, cackling uncontrollably at his shock. This is all the perfect I need for now.

*** Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve came in the blink of an eye, and by some miracle, I managed to get everything in order before everyone arrived. My Mum and Andy were staying with us in the guest bedroom I had recently renovated - much to my mothers delight, she had always loved my way of decorating the house. We were also hosting Anne and Robin and Gemma had a prized spot on the fold out couch. Mine and Savanna’s Dads were staying with her, as well as her Mum, who thankfully didn't find it too awkward that she was staying under the same roof as her ex-husband turned gay for the father of her daughters best friend. To say we have an interesting family is an understatement, but it sure does keep us on our toes.

Love Actually plays on the television in the background, but my mum is far too busy chatting away to Anne - no doubt planning a wedding for Harry and I, Harry and Gemma are sprawled out on the rug in front of the fire, fighting over the puppies, and Robin and Andy are getting to know each other over a glass of duty free Whiskey. It’s almost the perfect family picture, just missing one little thing.

I try not to think about how desperately I want to fill this home with the sounds of childish laughter, and focus on having the best Christmas imaginable. I sit down by the tree and cross my legs, just able to put my hot chocolate on a side table before Edgar forgets all about Harry and bounds over to me, jumping up to lick my face and curl up in my lap.

“No fair” Harry grumbles, sitting up and moving to take Frankie off of Gemma. “Harry play nice” Anne scolds him, watching him reach for the dog. He just can’t seem to get his own way. Instead he settles on cuddling up to me instead of a dog, pulling me up onto his lap next to the Christmas tree and wrapping his arms around me, Edgar trying to get in on the cuddles, feeling left out.

Our Mums squawk in delight and try to get their phones our fast enough to take a picture of the moment. “You two make me sick” Gemma gags, retreating to squeeze on the end of the couch next to Anne. “Hush Gem, they’re in love”

“You’re just jealous” Harry pulls a face at her and she scowls, because her boyfriend has flown to France to be with his family for Christmas and after the past month we’ve had, it has really put into perspective how important family time is.

It’s nice to finally be able to relax after the hectic few days I’ve had running around trying to get everything ready for tomorrow, trying to think about cooking and serving and having enough room to seat so many people is kinda overwhelming. Thanks to Harry I’ve managed to pull through, it was a bit of team effort after all.

We sit curled up together on the floor watching the last of the movie, one by one our guests take themselves off to bed, Gemma the last to go, kissing us goodnight and retreating to the spare lounge to phone her boyfriend.

White Christmas plays over the speakers in the lounge, quietly, so not to wake anyone else up. I feel myself start to nod off against Harry’s shoulder, but he wakes me, pulling me up to my feet in front of him and he moves my hands to rest on his shoulders and he wraps his arms loosely around my waist, dancing slowly back and forth to the music.

Outside, it’s been snowing all night and it gathers in little piles in the corners of our windows. I smile at the sight, always wanting more than anything to have a white Christmas. It’s one of the things I love most about living here, is that it’s actually a possibility. Harry distracts me by nudging his nose against my forehead to get my attention, and once he has it he bends down to kiss me, pulling me closer against his chest.

It’s not so much heated, it’s just in the moment, something you do when you love someone in a perfect moment, is complete it with a kiss. “Mmm, it’s all come together alright huh?” he murmurs against my lips, continuing to move around the room slowly to the carols. I nod, somehow we managed to make it work. All of it, not just Christmas.

“Can I give you a present?” he asks timidly, searching my eyes. I bite my lip, watching him frown at the action as it always turns him on when I do that, but this time it’s not on purpose. “I don't know, Haz, it’s not Christmas morning” I protest, wanting everything to go to plan, if he gives me an early present than that means I’ll have to give him one now as well.

“Shh, its not really a physical present, more of a promise...” he trails off, uncertainly. I shrug my shoulders, “I guess I can allow a promise” I permit, seeing as its not really a present as such.

He takes a deep breath, meeting my eyes at once, and I try to figure out whats going on behind those emeralds. “I promise...” he begins, hesitating, I lock my arms around his neck and kiss him on the nose, signalling for him to go on.

“I promise... we can... try” he forces the last word out.

“Try?” I question, a little lost. Try what exactly?

“We can try again... y’know...”

“For a... baby?” I finish for him, it’s the first thing that comes to my mind, what else could we try for?

Harry nods slowly, holding my eyes so I know he’s serious about it. I choke up and bury my head in his shoulder, unable to help the tears springing to my tear ducts and spilling out over the edges.

“Are you sure?” I whisper, pulling back.

“I can’t... we can’t be afraid forever Bee.” he replies, tucking a stray hair behind my ear and kissing me again.

“I don’t want you to feel like you have to, because I want to...”

“I’m nervous... but we can start by seeing a specialist and... and we’ll get it right.”

He knows how much this means to me, and although we haven’t spoken about it since before I went into the transplant surgery, I can tell he has been thinking about it since then.

I don’t expect it to be an easy thing for him to come around to, when we lost our little girl it was beyond traumatic, it was a heavy experience and we were both crushed under the weight of it. It scares me more than anything to try again, but I know that if we don't, I will always regret it. There will always be a part of me that is missing.

“Thank you” I whisper, reaching up to kiss him once, twice, three times. We stay like that for a while, swaying around the lounge, watching the snow come down outside, listening to Christmas carols. Our hearts full, and our minds open to the future. We revel in this perfect moment, and I wish that I could capture it forever, make it into a snow globe or something like that. I want to freeze this moment in time, and play it on repeat in my head. The two of us, Christmas eve, snow, love, laughter, family.

“Let’s jump in bed, Santa’s coming” he teases, I poke his cheek and let him lead the way upstairs, Frankie and Edgar padding their huge paws up the stairs behind us, following us wherever we go. We tip toe past all of the other bedrooms and shut our door behind us. Discovering some matching Christmas PJ’s folded at the end of our bed, I know exactly who the culprit is too.

“Mum” Harry groans, but he smiles nonetheless, never too old for his Christmas PJ’s. It means so much more to him this year, that he can have this time with her, that she is alive and healthy again. She will be around for many more Christmases to come. Ours have red and white striped pants and a red long sleeve t-shirt with a big red reindeer on them. “Bit girly” harry grumbles, pulling the pants on over his briefs.

We don’t often sleep together in PJ’s but it is Christmas after all, and traditions must be upheld. Grinning at each other as we brush our teeth and wash our faces off with flannels, we jump into bed and pull the covers up to our chins, we have each other, and the dogs curl up around our feet.

“Perfect little hot water bottles” I chuckle, resting my head against his chest, my eyes heavy, I’ll be asleep in moments. Harry’s arms rest around me, and he kisses me goodnight, thrice on the lips and peppering kisses just about everywhere else on my face.

“Merry Christmas Baby” he whispers.

“Merry Christmas” I manage to get the words out before my eyes shut and the next thing I know I’m dreaming of ice-skating and babies and chocolate pudding and Christmas ham.

Christmas Day

“Blair”

Sleep slips away with the sound of Harry’s loud whispering right in my ear. Like inside my ear.

“Blair” he calls to me again. I can’t pretend to be asleep much longer. I reluctantly open my eyes a tiny crack to see his face hovering directly above mine, his knees either side of my hips.

“Meeeeeeeerry Christmas!!!” he announces, his dimples sinking deep into his cheeks and his teeth on full display in his excitement. I shake my head and smile at him, “Alright, alright”

Victorious, he, rolls us overs so I’m not on top of him and he’s lying beneath me, his arms wrapping around my waist. “Kiss me” he demands, pouting his lips up at me, and I accept, leaning down to press my lips against him, his grip tightens around me and he deepens the kiss, tracing his tongue along my bottom lip. I go to reciprocate but he pulls away.

“I love you, but its Christmas morning, all I can think about is presents!” Harry bubbles, practically quivering with excitement beneath me.

I sigh, feeling a little disheartened, but still excited. “What time is it?” I complain, rolling away from him, rejected. On Christmas.

“It’s 7:30... where do you think you’re going?” he demands, grabbing my hip and turning me back to him. “It’s nothing, baby. I’m gonna let the dogs out.” I brush it off, wriggling free and throwing the covers back, locating my slippers at the end of the bed, heading for the door.

“Blair- stop it, jeez. I’m sorry!” he insists, grabbing my wrist and pulling me back to the bed to sit on his knee, like he’s Santa Claus in a mall. “Nothing is wrong! Just thought if you were going to wake me up like that you’d give me a little more time before pushing me away!” I sulk, trying my hardest not to pout like a child.

“I’m sorry! I get too excited, I wasn't thinking baby.” he apologises, kissing my shoulder and squeezing the air out of me like a teddy he just got on Christmas morning. Too bad I haven’t gotten him a teddy.

“Okay! Okay! I need to let the dogs out though or they’re going to shit on the floor and thats not how I want to start Christmas Day” I cry, Edgar pacing back and forth in front of the door.

Harry permits me freedom but chooses to accompany me downstairs, so he can peek at the presents his mum has put under the tree in the middle of the night - no doubt my mum took part too. Although we’re all grown up now, they still like to think we’re still their little babies.

“God they’ve even done stockings too” Harry almost screams in excitement, darting into the second lounge to jump on Gemma, waking her up. I presumed she would be shitty at the abrupt awakening, but she only shares his excitement - if anything, it’s magnified, they’re like a tornado of Christmas excitement.

I shake my head, needing a few more minutes in my adult state to wake up and get thrilled about the whole Christmas morning ordeal. I let the puppies outside and retreat to the kitchen, filling the kettle and boiling it, getting prepared for the copious amounts of tea and coffee I’m going to have to make.

Movement stirs throughout the house as parents wake upstairs, no doubt jumped on by Harry and Gemma - my mum will be so excited. She’s missed the last couple of Christmases with me, but now that we’ve settled into our new home Harry insisted that they let him fly them over to be with us.

I lean against the bench as I wait for the jug to boil, my mind wandering to places where it shouldn’t on a morning like this, but sometimes it can’t be helped. My eyes stare absently at the floor, my mind drifting, wondering how different this morning would have been if our daughter had made it.

“Morning my darling” my mum enters the kitchen, thankfully alone, and catches me, tears escaping my eyes.

“Wh... Whats the matter?” she fusses, rushing to my side and wrapping her arms around me, pulling me into her side and rubbing circles into my back. “It would’ve been her first Christmas, Mum” I choke, trying my best to stop the sobs from taking over and ruining Christmas morning for everyone else. The thought probably hadn’t even crossed any of their minds.

Mum just holds me tight and soothes me, for once, not really knowing what to say to make it all go away.

“It happens, more than you’d think. It happened to me twice before I finally got you” she confesses, and I stop blubbering. "Wh-Why didn’t you tell me?” I whisper, letting her wipe away my tears with her sleeve. “It wasn't about me, I had to be there for my baby” she tells me, her voice strong.

It was agony enough having to go through it once, but twice?

And she tried again, she kept trying until she got me. I’m the one that survived. “Just promise me, you won't let this discourage you, try again, and again. Because you’ll get there, you were worth the pain and the heartache, Blair Hazel Waters. The other two will always hold a special place in my heart, but you... you made it so our suffering wasn't for nothing.”

My throat is tight as I bite back the lump forming.

My mother amazes me, I swear mothers are just the most incredible creatures that were ever put on this universe. She knows exactly what to say to make everything better, to make the pain feel like it is going to be worth it in the end.

“Thank you” I murmur, hugging her tight and burying my face into her shoulder, inhaling her scent that encompasses me in a feeling of complete comfort and safety that one can only feel from the embrace of their mother. “You’re a fighter, Blair, you’ll come back from this. Don’t forget your little girl, but don’t let it stop you from trying again.”

I want to tell her everything, I want to tell her about the promise Harry made me last night, the pact we made to try again, to get it right this time. But I can’t get her hopes up, I’m too afraid of getting my own hopes up yet, we need to take it step by step.

She stays with me, chatting away about mindless things until my sadness subsides, and I crack a smile for her that isn't forced. We make cups of tea and special hot chocolates, with cream and marshmallows piled on top.

We join the rest of the family in the lounge, Harry perched on Anne’s lap and Gemma’s back resting against Robin’s knees. Harry jumps up and moves to sit beside Anne, patting his knee for me to sit there, he pulls me down and I rest against his chest, sniffing the last of my sadness away, determined to make this a happy day, and not a sad one.

***

Once everyone is seated at the table with a drink in front of them, and all the food served in the middle, Harry stands at the head of the table, to my side, he taps his knife gently against his champagne flute, gaining attention from everyone at the table.

We’ve got a full house, and as man of the house Harry takes it upon himself to make the toast.

“Well er... We’re really happy everyone could be here, we’ve made it through the year - bit of a rollercoaster if I’m honest - but we’ve come out alright I reckon!” Everyone smiles at him, he’s doing a great job, I grab his hand and squeeze it in encouragement. We’re a team.

“None of this would have been possible - and I mean that, I’m useless at decorating and all that - without Blair. She’s... well she’s made this place our home and honestly don’t know what I would do without her, she’s saved my ass, she's saved me Mum’s ass, she’s definitely saved Sav’s ass on more than one occasion-”

“Harry Edward you say ass one more time and I’ll-” Anne interrupts, but she herself is interrupted by Clarice.

“Assss”

Niall drops his fork on his empty plate, staring at awe at his daughter in her high chair between him and Sav.

“Assss” she repeats, and Sav glares at Harry “I’m teaching your kid to say fuck” she vows, not realising the error in her words as Clarice repeats that word back to her too, causing Harry to burst out laughing at the sound coming from our goddaughters mouth.

“Stop fucking swearing you lot” Niall’s mum slaps her hand on the table, laying down the law.

Harry clears his throat once everyone is quiet again, and finishes his toast.

“Where was I...”

“Ah, ass, yes. Blair saving everyones anuses. Yes, well I think we can all agree I’m far too good for her-”

“Harold! Get on with it” Gemma yells, impatient.

“Alright! Christ. I love Blair, I love you all, thank you all for being here - tuck in... Grace?” he finishes, confused. Plonking back down into his seat and looking to me for approval, I raise an eyebrow at him. His speech resulted in our Goddaughter learning two new naughty words.

Niall stands up abruptly, his chair scraping against the wooden floors, making an unpleasant sound, but his eyes look wild.

“WE’RE HAVIN’ ANOTHER BABY” he shouts, “NIALL!!!!” Savanna screams at him, clearly not ready to tell everyone.

Harry spits his mouthful of wine all over the peas and Niall’s mum just about falls out of her chair.

“Niall Horan you tell me the truth right now” his mum demands, pointing her knife at him threateningly.

Savanna grumbles and holds up her champagne glass “It’s sparkling grape juice, he put another damn baby in me” she confesses, met by the scraping of chairs and cheering.

“No don’t cheer him on my tits are going to be ruined” she cries, as everyone floods to her to kiss and hug them in congratulations.

Harry’s hand finds mine under the table and squeezes it, offering me a knowing look. We could never take away from their happy moment, but God, how we wish it were us.

I hope you all have a Merry Christmas! Thank you for reading, see you in the new year xxx

#harry #harry styles #one direction #1d #1dff #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fan fic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fan fiction #one direction fan fic #one direction fanfic #one direction fan fiction #one direction fanfiction #fan fic #fanfic #fan fiction #fanfiction #writing

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papi-priest · 7 years

Text

Killer Avenue

|CHAPTER 1|

She was at a stand still, she knew it. He knew it. Hell everyone around them knew it. Adrianna slowly tilted her head to the right. Her eyes flickering down to his hand and back up to his face.

“Come on lass, you can do it! I believe in ya!"

The kind words from Chibbs made her smile. All eyes were on her and the fool infront of her. Well technically he wasn’t a fool, but right now he was. Because he thought he would win, he was a fool to think he could beat her. "Come on Addy, I don’t wanna embarass you infront of the club, just give up. Call it quits and I’ll make you a nice drink for your efforts…scouts honor.”

Before he could say anymore she raised the gun and pulled the trigger, Juice doing the same as soon as he saw her actions. He was too late though, the Nerf bullet had already hit him square in the eyes while his barely crazed her shoulder as she moved out the way. His brothers cheered for her and he playfully glared.

“That’s my girl!!!” Tig engulfed her into a hug and picked her up swinging her around.

“Never underestimate a Teller Juicey-boy! Especially when it’s a woman."

Her feet made contact with the ground again, and she let out a small laugh. "So, since I won…Ill be taking that drink anyways Juan Carlos…and how about you make me a sandwich too…”

“Ha!!! Are you a good wife Juice?!” Kozik asked as everyone slowly started to walk across the parkinglot.

“You should see him in the night gown I got him. Legs for days.” Adrianna added, everyone burst out laughing, even Juice cracked a smile.

“I knew it!” Tigs exclaimed.

Happy wiped his hands with the towel, trying to get as much grease off as he could. He had been working on a car that afternoon while the rest of the Son’s were running around the parkinglot shooting toy guns. He had witnessed the interaction between Adrianna and Juice, they were acting like children..which wasn’t a big surprise to him. Juice was just one giant kid. He was closer to Adrianna’s age too. They probably had more in common than she did with him. But that didn’t stop the brown haired girl from batting her big brown eyes at Happy when they talked. Or when she would gaze at him from across the room.

Age was just a number though right?

Hearing the front door open he looked away from the spot he had been staring at to find everyone piling into the club house. His eyes immediately finding her with ease.

“Happy!” She shouted walking over to him, he had been leaning against the pool table off in a daze. “I made Juice my bitch.” She had the biggest grin on her face, and happy could only grin himself, but only for a split second.

“Well that’s not hard little girl…” Happy slowly stood up right, towering over her. She had been around the club and him for a little over a month now. And ever since her first night here when he called her his old lady to Jared, he hadn’t uttered that name again. Not out loud at least.

“Hey! That’s my bitch you are talking about…don’t make me fight you.” She joked bouncing over towards the bar. She climbed up on the stool, pulling her hair out of the ponytail.

“Where the hell is my brother?” The younger Teller asked.

“Probably with Tara.”

Adrianna scrunched up her nose, just like her mother, she detested the girl. Not only for leaving Jax broken hearted, but because when she was younger Tara was nothing but rude to her. Adrianna was a bit of a nerd, she could admit that. She didn’t really care about the things that they did back then. She was more into books, and writing and homework. Apparently Tara found her to be her favorite person to be mean to. Ofcourse Adrianna never told Jax, there would’ve been no point. He was too infatuated.

“What a loser,” she mumbled breaking out of a flash back by the sound of the stool next to her squeaking.

“I want you to come over tonight”

It was Happy.

Juice nearly knocked over the drink he was pouring as he listened into them. He pretended to focus on the task at hand, ever so often eyeing the pair out of the corner of his eye.

“And why would I do that?” Adrianna questioned, resting her face in the palm of her hand. She didn’t even bother to look at him. Not showing a bit of interest. But that’s how Happy liked it. What was it? The thrill of the chase? Even when they both knew exactly how it was going to end.

“Little girl I was just being nice about it, we both know I wasn’t asking. I wasn’t suggesting. It was a demand.”

Tingles ached their way up her spine at his words. Happy always thought his demanding voice would make her fall at his feet. It never worked, though she did like to play with him.

“You must have me confused with someone else. I make the demands….I don’t take them….nice try Happy Feet.”

Juice couldn’t control the laugh that came passed his lips at the nickname. And quickly regretted it as Adrianna got up from the bar, disappearing. Not even bothering to wait for her drink. Now alone with Happy, Juice looked like a deer in the headlights.

“Think something is funny?”

Without even a word, Juice quickly exited the bar not wanting to be in the line of fire. He definitely knew better.

Over in the doorway of the office Gemma slid her hands into the pockets of her jeans. “You gonna tell me what’s going on?” She asked her daughter who had made her way across the room. Adrianna raised an eyebrow not sure what she meant. “Don’t you dare give me that look. I know what I am seeing. A mother knows…now what is going on between you and Killa over there?” She tilted her head in the direction of the Tacoma native.

As she grew up there were many things that never changed around Adrianna. One of those things being how her mother could always tell when she was lying. But that never stopped the brown eyed girl. She would always lie, infact she would keep up the lie, with the fiercest devotion.

“Really ma, I have no idea what you are talking about. I’m too busy living my sin free life to have time for anything else.”

Gemma snorted a scoff. Sin free? Not her little girl. She placed her hand on her hip, not buying it. “Mmhm. I’ll let it go for right now…but don’t think I will forget.”

With a satisfied grin, Adrianna walked away from her mother.

——

“Man, you’re still on that?” Kozik asked, as he leaned against the bar next to his brother. “It’s been weeks, I don’t think she’s interested brother.”

Happy raised an eyebrow, side eyeing Kozik. “And what would you know about women being interested?” He questioned, turning around to find Adrianna with his eyes.

Happy wasn’t a man of many words. But he knew what he wanted. And when he wanted something he usually always got it. No matter what it was. He didn’t hold many things close to him. No woman could take the place of his mother. And the only thing he seemed to care for was bikes, booze,legs and killing. But for quite some time now, only one set of legs plagued his mind. Only one thing took over his consciousness. And that was Adrianna. He needed her.

He was going to have her.

All of her.

—-

“All I’m saying is, I know I’m not the only one to notice. You can’t be that blind.” Opie stated slinging the wrench around his fingers. Jax gave his best friend a confused look, before shaking his head.

“Not even man….Adrianna is way too smart for that. Yeah she came back, but she won’t let herself be tied down by this club..kinda why she left in the first place isn’t it? And with Happy of all people? No offense to our brother he’s a good man…good, but crazy..” the VP of the club mumbled off.

Jax thought to himself for a moment. There was literally no chance in hell that Opie was right. His baby sister and the clubs resident killer were complete opposites. Everything about them would make them but heads, he was sure of that. But why did he get the feeling that Opie held some truth. He furrowed his brow and walked away from his best friend.

“I’ll be right back..” he grumbled, causing Opie to chuckle softly to himself. As soon as he walked out the garage, he found his sister. Her small frame sitting at the picnic table by the playground. She was surrounded by books and papers, a familiar scene to him. He wiped his hands off on his jeans and slowly strutted over there. Jax didn’t want her to know that he was up to something.

“There’s the little princess..” he called out as he got closer to her.

Adrianna didn’t even bother to look up from her studies, she brought her pink highlighter to the pages of the book and highlighted a few words.

Being ignored wasn’t going well for the Vice President, so he continued to talk, taking a seat next to her. “What are you reading about? Frogs that turn into princes?” He laughed, snatching the book from her view. His blue eyes scanned the pages, his eyes showing confusion. “Serial killers??? Is there something you need to let us know Adrianna?”

Her face broke out into a grin, before she finally paid her older brother any mind. “You’re gonna be my next victim if you don’t go away.."

Chuckling Jax set the book down on the table. He was glad to see his sister still taking her studying very seriously. He took in a deep breath and watched her for a moment. "Look….I just wanted to see how you are doing….what’s going on… And-”

“Let me stop you right there…if you have something you wanna ask…go for it. Other wise get your pretty face going and travel far away from me.”

Jax continued to stare at his sis. She could be so fucking sassy. And honestly quite the bitch at times, even looking all nerdy. He raised an eyebrow coming to a realization. He didn’t need to ask her about happy because there was no way with her attitude and princess ways, that she would let the Tacoma Killer get near her like that. He felt a small weight rise off his shoulders, and quickly put his hands up in defense. “Alright,alright..can’t even check on my own damn sister.” He joked getting up.

“Don’t be studying too hard though darlin’, there’s no fun it that.”

—

Happy and Tigs walked into the almost empty church, save for Chibbs. Both geared up in their Kute. Clay was sending them both on a little job before the family dinner at his and mama Gemma’s place.

As soon as he stepped inside the room though, it hit him, that fucking scent. It was flowery, warm. Could a scent even be warm? And it made him want to be somewhere tropical. It was her smell, her perfume. Adrianna’s. “Was the princess I’m here or something?” His rough voice asked. Chibbs raised an eyebrow, confused on why he would ask that before he gave a slight nod.

“Aye, she was showing me her books. Smart lass that one."

Tigs looked at Happy, his head slightly tilted. He had a conversation with himself in his head, before he leaned against the table and crossed his arms over his chest. "How’d you know she was in here?” He asked his brother. With out thinking, words dived out of the Killer’s mouth.

“I know the smell of her perfume.."

His two brothers shared a look before Chibbs quickly got up and closed the church door so others didn’t hear the trio talking. "you what now?” Blue eyes asked. Happy realized his mistake,but the look of embarrassment never crossed his face.

“I don’t repeat myself…..now are we gonna go get this done or not?” He turned and yanked opened the wood doors, walking out.

Chibbs didn’t know what to say, his head was reeling and he knew his wasn’t the only one. He was a good detective, nothing went unnoticed by him. Nothing.

“He knows her scent huh? What do you think that means?”

Looking at Tigs Chibbs only shook his head, many conclusions coming to mind. He decided to State the most innocent one.

“I think our little killer has a crush on our little princess.”

“Jax is gonna flip…” Tigs added with a grin, ready for whatever shit storm may come their way in the near future.

—–

Adrianna gently pulled at the hair tie at the top of her head, letting her long brown hair fall victim to her shoulders. Her eyes pled with the book infront of her, begging her mind to latch on to its contents. But all she could focus on were the clanking and banging of pots and dishes as her mother ran around the kitchen making the dinner for the Son’s.

“I give up.” She declared pushing her book away from her and getting up from her position on the floor. She sauntered into the kitchen, catching the eye of her mom. “There you are baby..aren’t you gonna get all dressed up for your man?’ she questioned,taking in her daughter’s sweatpants attire. "Happy’s gonna make it to dinner tonight, you guys can sit together.” Adrianna was completely dumfounded, staring at her mother like she was insane.

“The what now?”

Gemma just chuckled softly, going back to stirring the pot, the literal one infront of her. “Oh nothing..you know just some mom mumbles…” She smirked. “You know, you can study all you want..but you’re gonna end up an old lady one way or the other.”

Adrianna’s confusion quickly turned into a glare. She let out a sigh, and looked around the kitchen. “If you think I’m gonna stare here for longer than needed you are out your mind…you guys may enjoy your town, but I’ve been out in the world. Charming isn’t charmin at all…no man is gonna keep me here….”

Gemma kept her knowing smile. Turning and beginning to chop up some vegetables. “Go get dressed baby, the club will start showing up soon.”

Adrianna wrapped her arms around her torso and walked out of the kitchen. There was something in the air tonight. It was her mother’s nosey mischief. And that definately was not good for Adrianna, nor the club. She sighed as she disappeared into her bedroom getting a few moments of silence to herself before dinner.

—-

“Aye, that’s exactly what I’m saying Las…Juicey-boy here was talkin’ smack about ya. Claims he wants a rematch for your Nerf gun war!"

Adrianna looked away from the Scottish man and down the other end of the table at her new pal Juice. She cocked her eyebrow in response, challenging him to say something. Juice couldn’t help but glare at his brother. He opened his mouth to speak, but Clay beat him to it.

"I wouldn’t brother….Gemma is tough as nails, so you can only imagine how her daughter is. It’s a war you can’t win. Not with the princess of SAMCRO.”

Without a second thought Adrianna looked away from juice and continued to enjoy her food in silence. She always did enjoy when people would boost up her ego. She could admit that. So far the whole night Adrianna had tried to keep in conversation with others or stay to herself. Avoiding anything Happy related. But he made it quite difficult for her.

As soon as Happy made it to the dinner he claimed a seat directly infront of the dark haired beauty. He spent the dinner nursing his beer, as usual, or staring at her, again as usual. And that ofcourse didn’t go unnoticed by the queen of SAMCRO herself. Gemma sat at the table, plotting. One part of her knew that she shouldn’t meddle. But she also knew that this could be the only chance to have her babygirl stay in Charming. She needed this. Seflish? Yes. But she was a needy mother.

Gemma just needed to figure out how she was going to succeed in this. Her daughter was hard-headed, a pain in the ass at best. Something she may have passed down to her. It was going to be a tough job, but someone had to do it.

Right?

•••••••••••••• @kacilove26

#sons of anarchy #SOA #soa imagine #SOA imagines #happy lowman #jax teller #happy lowman imagine #happy #imagines #imagine

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