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olde-scratch · 3 years

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So I watched LUCIDS 1-4 without any prior knowledge...

and here were my thoughts. I didn’t watch any backstory or anything so enjoy my suffering.

PART 1

“So what happens when the people inside of their dreams go to sleep?” They die

“What happens when we wake up? Do they go on living while we’re not there?” THEY DIE-

“Who are they anyway?” they’re faces that our brain catalogs and stores for later use, although it’s also arguable that every time we dream we go to an alternate reality and inhabit the body of another version of ourselves. Now, were you in a car accident and trapped underwater or-

Are they twins?

(Me tuning out to do something)

“-the squirrel in spongebob was your soulmate, making you a Sandy simp-”

Me, snapping back to the video: hold up-

[missed the part about the worksheet, realized it when i rewatched 10 mins later to make this post]

yall speakin gibberish idk what youre saying-

“I’m gonna go to bed.” bro it literally looks like morning-

“You should get some sleep you look terrible.” i get six hours of sleep a night minimum and i look worse than him shut up bro-

“jump into someone else’s dream” ah i know this con-

why they all got the same face-

haha funni meme

“--an interruptiion can create feedback and tear them apart.” Death. I long for thee.

Is that Karl Jacob’s jacket?

“a second grader” makes me think this is a different school system. [i was wrong? i think?]

“[get him to] eat your apple”

[in the dream sequence] weird dream, but ive had weirder. now, Why Pamper’s-

why does he suddenly have a knife-

“You put a filter on the Dreamscape feed?”

“Technically, you are seven years old.”

???????????

the second hand embarrassment is UGGGHHH

[reading the description] you mean like the guy who was knocked out for 2 minutes on a football field and woke to find he’d dreamt 17 years of his life? oh this shall be Fun

PART 2

[I check the description] “jasper cult” what the fu-

how many camp camp references can i make during this

Is the apple a reference to religion or does the creator just really ilke apples?

“meal.”

“meal?”

meal????

Wait why couldn’t that guy eat the apple? If he wanted it in the fruit bowl, wouldn’t there be a chance of the guy eating it anyways?? Why can’t the guy who brought the apple eat it?

well he’s Dead

[debating if I should read the backstory}

n a h h h h h -

Was he gonna feed the dead guy the apple or something? Why is he upset about the apple in this scene???

oooo the grownups are fightinnnngggg

Is he an antagonist?

HE WROTE A BOOK???

oh now i want food

ESTABLISH JUSTICE ENSURE DOMESTIC TRANQUILITYYYYYYYYYYYYY

“I watched all those aforementioned shows” what shows did i miss something what-

man why you gotta hate on her jane austen fanfic let her live bro

string theory! i can get behind that! sorta-

o no he found the memes-

BOY GOT KNOCKED OUT-

kim there’s people that are dying-

is SHE an antagonist?

quinn? calling himself jasper? u sure hes not just nonbinary? is this just a metaphor for transphobic parenting?

“He died... but somewhere, he grew up.” So is your plan to take a Quinn from a different universe and make him your own, thereby robbing another version of yourself from happiness? When does this ever go well?

Yknow most people, when they lose a kid,,,, kinda,,,,,,, dont go on a ceaseless quest to find another version of their kid that grew up without knowing that another version of his mother was invading other peoples’ dreams to find and kidnap him,,,,,,,, like aint u got a therapist-

“Once you get past the point of not knowing what’s real anymore, you realize it doesn’t matter.” Well, I Got Called Out-

PART 3

“you’re real, oliver.”

aRe yOu sUrE aBoUt tHaT-

“you’ve been infected by the anti-love parasite of Mandadon” the amatonormativity is strong

so anyways ive been infected since birth hbu-

“James Jasperson, creator of Japple” did you mean to Fancy Well-Educated Man in a Black Turtleneck? cause the only FWEMBT i allow near me is prof. hidgens

“are you winning?” says the capitalist

why did you rewind to see his face?? you have the same face????? is this just bc the creator doesnt like working with other people cause in that case same but???????

“it’s a bad idea. i’m not gonna do it.” we’ve all been there. and we’ve all done it.

looks like me trying to study. (i say, a person who has studied a total of five minutes throughout their entire life.)

your “Spartan trial” looks like a bunch of guys standing on a hill pretending to be something they’re not. Let The Man Bring His Snacks.

eat the apple.

is this your first existential crisis or something what a loser lets all point and laugh

“One of you should be spared, the other shall’nt.” did you mean shant or was that a choice-

yall gonna get called out for talking shut UP

“sorry if this is too personal, btw. are you okay?”

me, confused and half understanding what’s going on and also needing to sleep cause its almost one in the morning but wanting to finish what i can find of lucids which i only starting watching cause i saw an animatic of ranboo and dream w audio from it: i don’t know anymore

“i just want my life back... i was gonna get married-” AREN’T YOU LIKE SEVEN-

ay man if this is a sacrificial cult yall gotta get daniel-

UPDATE: I H A V E N O T F O U N D I T -

“oliver”

I F O U N D I T -

WHICH ONE IS QUINN?? WHO’S JASPER???? WHICH ONE IS BENJAMIN???? I THOUGH BENJAMIN WAS SEVEN BUT I THOUGHT HE WAS THE ONE GETTING MARRIED WHAT-

oliver. eat the apple.

“Can you still have memories even when you’re dreaming?” One time I woke up to my alarm and fell back asleep and in my dream I remembered that I had class in a few minutes and my dream self woke my real self up so fast I thought I was gonna get whiplash. Anyways, I was late to class bc of my computer but that doesn’t matter.

NOPE I FOUND IT. HERE’S THE AUDIO. THE ANIMATIC ONE. FINALLY.

im thinking car crash. but also maybe murder. but also maybe both? is it raining or was he drowning? is he in a coma? hmmmmmm?

wait olivers the one with the apple does that mean he’s the one dreaming? is the ending gonna be him and jasper (quinn? idk) fighting against ben and mrs hills about jasper eating the apple to save oliver from the dream? hmmmmmmmmmm-

waitwaitwait i thought oliver was 7 how is benjamin 7 years younger than him if they look the same age what what what explain america explain what you mean arkansaw-

are the cuts on his nose plot-relevant or

“What if you hadn’t been driving?” So I was right about the car accident but Mrs. Hills still said he was seven so did i mishear her say that BENJAMIN was seven? but even then oliver would be 14 and that would still be illegal-

“How are you feeling?”

“Like you’re a pretty bad therapist.”

mood

“--it makes it all bearable to have power over the stories we write in our heads” that’s why i write fanfiction

HE’S GOT THE NOTEBOOK HE’S GONNA WRITE SOMETHING ONE OF US ONE OF US ONE OF US

WHAT YOU MEAN AN EXPERIMENT THAT’S HIS NAME-

[upon reading the description] so i was right.

wait was that supposed to be the twist in part 2 about the apple in his pocket is that what the existential crisis was about i thought it was because he was introduced to the multiple worlds theory-

PART 4

wait wasnt the other one january 2018 why we going back to 2017-

appol

“--the future and the past all already exist” mhm yep figured this out long ago

there was simultaneously a point in time in which i hadn’t known about this, had been looking it up, had been watching it, and had been writing an ending to this post, and had been posting it the next morning before class. that time is both now and not now. Welcome To The Multiverse Theory or whatever its called-

“--my favorite scene of the movie is waking up next to you.” Mine is eating fast food as I listen to AJJ and play Minecraft. We are not the same.

Now I’m hungry but it’s 1 in the morning and i already put my retainer in god fu-

[reading description] what do you mean previously??? she did that in the first episode????????

[still on description] WHAT DO YOU MEAN WILL QUINN BITE THE APPLE AND GO TO BENJAMINS REALITY ISNT THIS OLIVERS REALITY AND HE HAS TO GET BEN TO BITE THE APPLE WHY IS APPLE CAPITALIZED IS THIS THE DOING OF THE FWEMBT

i should have watched the backstory i should have watched the backstory i should have watched the backstory i should have wa-

[description] oh ive been spelling quinn right the whole time nice

i hope she rejects you /j

WAIT BENJAMIN WAS THE ONE GETTING MARRIED TO ISABELLE

ISNT HE IN SECOND GRADE-

HE IS SEVEN YEARS OLD HOW IS HE GETTING MARRIED ARE THERE TWO BENJAMINS THAT WE’RE FOCUSING ON-

bro get out of the road ull get hit

how do you knOW WHICH ONE IS QUINN THEY ARE THE SAME PERSON-

wait

hills wants ben to feed quinn the apple bc in his mind, that will give hills and quinn a happy ending and she doesnt want ben to see the apple bc thats gonna mean ben will know that his reality isnt reality at all. so then oliver has to,,,, not let anyone eat his apple? he just has to wake up?

IS HILLS THE VILLAIN AFTER ALL ORRRRR

wait but if ben sees the apple wont he realize that his reality is wrong and his reality will change, making it so that hills doesnt get her son? or is there some time-based rule that says they’re only transported to the reality that the person believes at that moment? or is this another stab at the multiverse thing where an infinite amount of hills gets their happy endings while an infinite amount of hills doesnt and etc etc?

i should have watched the ba-

oooo dramatique

they’re in a time loop?

nope thats a new powerpoint

wait so theyre,,,, no-

wait-

nvm-

IS THE BEN WE KNOW AN ADULT GETTING MARRIED TO ISABELLE OR NOT-

“they were actually pretty nice” didnt they throw someone off a cliff-

oh so it got confusing THEN??? NOT BEFORE?????

“it all seemed so real.” is that Not the point of vivid REM sleep hallucinations-

is oliver gonna show ben the apple and ruin hills’ whole operation

WHO ARE ALEX AND RYAN-

“what’s 25-8″ bro dont do this to me-

yep hes gonna show the apple

ayyy the guy who stole karl jacobs jacket it back

the second hand embarrassment is back and I Hate It

all that happens in episode ONE??? bro get some better writers that is bad pacing

“it’s the best!” wait until season eight. no show has a good season eight.

quinn knows about the apple thing w the dreams and multiverse and realities dont he

YOU KILLED HIM

NOT KARL JACOBS NOOOOO HES ALREADY DIED ONCE

oliver is v relatable

wHaT iN tArNaTiOn-

lemme hear that explanaton again-

is bill cipher gonna show up? i hope bill cipher shows up. i miss gravity falls

“ah! a tree! ah! a tree! ah a tree!” moooooooood

did hills murder quinn

is your family the jasper cult

TOXXIICCCCCC get that lady out of your life quinn that is so toxic

“ ah! a tree! ah! a tree! ah a tree! ah! a tree! ah! a tree! ah a tree!” mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT’S THE END NO WHAT WHY NO

The Adventures of Benjamin and Oliver

he is Not Good

ope-

wait so ben is equal parts an adult AND a child?? okay that clears a lot up

I MEAN HE WAS RIGHT THO BEN U CAN’T REALLY ARGUE ON THAT-

ew get off the floor

butterfly effect, multiverse theory, memory decay, and your imagination ALL exist yall gonna ignore that cause you wanna be famous?

“We already know what the future looks like!”

aRe yOu sUrE aBoUt tHaT-

to add to the list of bad things: Cats (2019)

YA BOI THINKS IT’S NOT ALREADY FIFTY YEARS TOO LATE TO START FIGHTING CLIMATE CHANGE FFFFF

BINGO BABYYYY

get what what

what mapped-

awwwww he thinks THEY’RE creating the multiverse

you gonna dismiss the multiverse theory bc of something you created in your current reality? loooserrrrrr

ABUSE YOUR GODLIKE POWERS

she draggin that seven year old

a lot makes sense now why didnt i do this first-

Jasper

the food shortages-

bro that calculators like 90 bucks at walmart

imagine meeting a stranger and they know Everything about your life like that’s gotta be so weird

what’s even weirder is them telling you you’re the deity of a cult that sacrifices animals

THAT FOURTH WALL BREAK WAS-

KARL JACOBS IS DEAD NOOOOOO

ooohhh there’s context for that

OOOOHHHH THERE’S CONTEXT FOR THIS TOOOO

w h a t -

W H A T -

Conclusion:

it’s 2 in the morning and i need sleep but hOOOOO MY GODS THAT WAS GOOD IS IT OVER OR NOT IDK ANYMORE IM TIRED THAT WAS CRAZY I HOPE QUINN AND JASPER GO ON TO BE VERY GOOD FRIENDS, AND I HOPE BENJAMIN AND OLIVER STAY VERY GOOD FRIENDS AND I HOPE HILLS FINDS A THERAPIST WAS A LITTLE CONFUSING BUT I ENJOYED IT

if i dream about apples im suing /j /lh

#lucids #nicholas podany #there's a metaphor in there somewhere #but im not gonna be the one to find it #i dont think i dreamed about apples #youre safe for now podany #for now #EDIT #I PUT 'something their not'#WRONG THERE #I HAVE NO EXCUSE #IM SORRY

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h2oishealthy · 3 years

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Everytime I see the arguement that :if Lilly didn't exist then he would be a deatheater 'I genuinely get confused on like why is this the hottest tea that they have when it's just cold water.

So the reasons why I think snape would enjoy the dark arts (without Lilly) it's like for: recognition, academic interest, security. It's all based on self interest okay cool whatever people have been selfish before Coolio.

Assuming that the mauruaders don't target him because constantly because there is no Lilly therfore he's just another slytherin. Snape still would have to deal with all the other shit : he still will be isolated in his house, the house he is in has already been isolated from the rest of the school, he is still poor, he still is the scrawny scrapper who wants to make a mark, he has no strong sane adult presence, he has friends of the same background which makes him susceptible to group think.

You really thought you got a big brain moment when the mud blood incident is what proves he can be a deatheater. No lol mauruader stans were right he would be a death eater because where else does he go then? Also do you have any idea how much of a target snape is just by being out casted, poor, isolated - cults thrive on vulnerable people like this. Like there is no other better alternative for him. That's the sad part love, even if the mud blood incident didn't take place snape would choose any option that fits his self interest (it's a very him against the world), he doesn't win there is no support system that allows him to be safe or to choose differently .

You know those posts in early 2013s where people could ask : poor but happy or rich but sad. And people just simply commented poor but happy because money can't buy happiness :). It's like absolutely absurd that there is such an outrage for people who believe that joining a cult (that provides them with what they are looking for) when they are vulnerable and in circumstances where there is no support for them.

No shit he would be a loyal death eater : his entire world view is shaped by those around him, he has changed his views at some point be feel recognized, to disagree would mean to start again, it falls in his own interest. Lilly shows him what it means to see the good in people, to see the good in humanity that's why he switched and kept that belief for so long. He knows that something good exists because his ex best friend was good. And she died fighting for that belief. Because like If I told you: if you have been isolated and you were easily persuaded by cults that have the same it's us against the world mentality you would absolutely not try to ruin what you have - who would do that? Who would want to just make their place in the world or the sake of it ? Why not just endure it? Why fight? .

Lilly was fighting for her right to be in the magical world its very much an us against them but it doesn't matter to her if she dies fighting because she has a strong morals. Her unwillingness to give in to what the majority were saying is what let's snape know that he can participate in the right side in the war and endure what he has to go through. Because if someone who he knew was good did this and died for this he knows he can maybe do this as well.

wow, thank you for this! i’m not very good with putting things into words so i hope i can get it out right

the whole “what if” argument is so dumb bc you can say that for anything. if lily hadn’t been born, sev would or wouldn’t have chosen the same path, we just don’t know, but people love to use that excuse as a way to prove that snape is a horrible person who would always choose the death eater path which is so dumb bc like ?? if snape had a good home life, supportive parents, wasn’t bullied and had friends and adults who cared about him maybe he wouldn’t have chosen to be a death eater. if kreacher wasn’t hurt, regulus would never have turned against voldemort. if something happened to draco, narcissa would have turned against harry. it’s just a useless argument which will never get you anywhere bc, while they can chose to believe it, that the matter of the fact is it’s not canon, it’s a headcanon, which they can have but it should never be used in a debate or a discussion. it just won’t get you anywhere.

and you are right, snape was very much a product of his environment. even if lily hadn’t existed, he was still poor and abused and not entirely safe amongst his slytherin peers, esp at this time where voldemort was actively recruiting and spreading propoaganda. but who knows, bc as i said, it’s all what ifs.

him having an intrest in the dark arts never seemed like such a big deal to me? idk if this is just me, but it’s like u said, i always thought his interests were acedemic based, he’s the type that wants to know everything about everything and does his own independent researches and he hones his skill. and it comes in handy too - when dumbledore got cursed bc of the ring it was snapes knowledge of the dark arts that saved him and allowed him more time to live. for a child with an abusive muggle father and a pureblood mother, he was probably grateful for anything magical that he could get his hands on to feel closer to his roots and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. however, dark magic is dark magic and it’s dangerous - it was the responsibility of the adults in his life to shelter him from that but no one ever cared enough to do that for him so he was let loose to do as he pleased, and that is what caught his interest which developed and progressed into something more as he grew older, which we see with him inventing his own spells (specifically sectumsempra).

the odds were really against him from such a young age :/ it’s sad

#h2o ask #severus snape #pro snape

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warmau · 5 years

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{Mermaid!AU} Johnny

happy birthday to jonathan [it’s late, i know] | other nct mermaid aus

“guess who just got CURSED?”

you look up from your computer and stare directly at the person who’d rudely interrupted your five hour streak of studying

it’s none other than seo youngho

a.k.a chatterbox, a.k.a your embarrassing friend from childhood, a.k.a johnny - as he insisted everyone call him

you grumble, returning your tired eyes back to your screen

finals are in three days, your notes are a mess, and the library group you usually hit the books with was nowhere to be seen

probably holed up in their dorms with textbooks up to their ears

johnny doesn’t seem to notice your gloomy aura, or take into consideration the fact that you’re ignoring him to do your work as he takes a seat opposite you

he throws a hand over the chair beside him casually and repeats what he just said

“hey - hey guess who just c u r s e d!”

“yeah, by the demon of never shutting up - right?”

johnny laughs off your sarcasm

“actually no, but guess who cursed me out? - turns out taeil really does have a limit when it comes to teasing”

you sigh, feeling bad for moon taeil - a senior student who seemingly means no harm to anyone and minds his own business for a fact

but who even johnny could break - it looks like

“he called me things ive never even heard of in my life, did you know asshat was an insult? i didn’t till today!”

he grins and you can tell that even though taeil might have snapped at johnny, it probably wasn’t that ugly of a situation

johnny has a skill that you’ve never seen in any other person before - no matter how annoying or how interuptive he is

and no matter how mad you get

you can’t stay mad at him - his face just makes everything less serious

his happy-go-lucky attitude vibrates through whatever angry wall you try to put up

which is why, even though he can be a little irksome because he’s more the outgoing, loud type

you do actually treasure him as a friend

but not right now,,,,,,,,,,,because finals

“johnny id love to hear more about how you’ve been magically turned into a frog by taeil cursing at you, but i dont have any clue what intro to physics is about and i have a test on it soon so please?”

you look over your laptop screen at him and johnny gives a dismissive wave of his hand

“you’re the brains of this friendship, you always have been - you’ll do fine!”

his words are playful - but they are a bit encouraging to hear

with that being said though, he gets up and gives your hair a messy ruffle

you swat at his hand

and he says he’ll text you later

before disappearing out of the library

you try to fix some loose strands, but end up ignoring your hair all together

eyes back on your screen, physics back to assaulting your brain

you don’t hear from johnny till finals actually start

you’ve spent all your time grinding on study sheets and note cards, that you only really notice you haven’t talked to him

when one of your study buddies - taeyong - asks if you can give johnny back the camera he lent him

you stare down at the nikon in your hands

it’s one of johnny’s favorites, he got it when you two were still in highschool together

it’s weird that he’d,,,,,,just let someone borrow it - let alone not hound them to give it back as soon as possible

you safely tuck the camera away in your bag, focusing instead on your tests at hand

when the day comes to an end, you’re exhausted and not looking forward to doing it all over again tomorrow for your other classes

but as you stop by the local cafe to get some much needed coffee, your fingers brush the camera again

right - i should stop by johnny’s apartment before i head to the dorms

you remind yourself

ending up in front of the apartment half an hour later, for some reason anxious about knocking on the door

you finally do - and to your surprise one of johnny’s four roommates open it

ten looks almost relieved to see you

“thank goodness! please tell me you know where johnny is?”

you pause and frown

“what - he’s not home?”

the happy spark dies in ten’s eyes as he realizes you have no clue what he’s talking about

“no,,,he hasn’t been home for three days straight! i thought he might have been with you-”

“with me? for three days?!?!”

ten shrugs, stepping aside so you can come in

“i don’t know, i thought he finally grew up and told you how he felt and you two you know,,,,,,,,,would just,,,,”

ten scratches behind his ear rather shyly

“would just enjoy it for a while alone -”

you don’t even want to know what ten is envisioning happening between you and johnny

so you cut in before he can go on with his wild ideas

“if he’s not here - and it’s been that long, it’s time we call the police.”

“yeah like they’ll believe us! they probably won’t do anything - johnny’s an adult, they’ll just say he took a surprise trip and didn’t warn anyone.”

you want to argue, but ten is most likely right - three days isn’t three months

and johnny is spontaneous, it’s not out of his nature to do random things at random times

but disappear? not tell anyone - not tell you, the person whose known him since before you two could even make out full sentences, where he was going?

you decide you’ll give your parents a call, see if they can call johnny’s parents and see if he went back home

you tell ten your plan and he gives you his number in case you find out anything

and when you get back to your dorm, you feel an uneasy weight in your chest

you sit down, knowing you should get back to your books

but instead you take out johnny’s camera and turn it on

the most recent photos are from some frat party johnny had went, there are silly photos of him and his roommates, and scenery shots that you know he takes for fun in the city

but you end up going farther back and you see photos from the last time you guys hung out

it had been on valentines day - and because you both were single and a little sulky about it

you’d decided to go out and just have fun

you look at the photos of you and johnny from karaoke, his face highlighted by the cheap disco lights and the shots of you mid-jump, microphone in hand - no inhibitions

there are photos from the hotpot you guys got, your face of awe as you stare down into the giant bowl - johnny holding his chopsticks up to his mouth like a walrus

and then there are photos of you on the balcony of his apartment

you don’t remember taking them or even being there with him after that

but there you are, leaning over the railing, staring up at the sky with johnny’s old varsity jacket over your shoulders

he must have taken this when you weren’t looking or didn’t know - you put the camera down and fall back against your bed

now that he’s not around making a big mess of my things or laughing out loud - i kind of miss all the noise he makes

you roll onto your side and check your phone for any new messages

there are some, but none from johnny

you press his contact and listen as it rings, and rings, and then the familiar

“what’s up! you’ve reached johnny - if you’re my mom, then you’ve reached seo youngho haha! leave a message or text-”

you hang up and sigh

no use worrying about him now, more finals tomorrow and it’s johnny - he should be fine

you tell yourself, but you don’t think you really believe it

finals end and the monday following is off as a little gift for students

you decide that since you have nothing better to do, you’ll try and see if you can scout out some of his favorite places and see if he’s around

but even after going every place you can think of, and not being sure how to feel when one of the students you talked to goes

“oh - are you dating him? i thought he was single.”

you debate whether or not you should make the trip to your old hometown

you’d called your parents, like you told ten you would, but your mom had said she didn’t know

apparently johnny’s family was on vacation right now - so the house was always empty

you have a hunch that maybe he’s hiding out there - so before you can stop yourself

you buy the train ticket

and come to terms with the fact that you’ll probably be skipping tuesday morning class

it’s not too long of a ride, but you spend it looking out the window - thinking about what you’ve got upcoming in the week

but your thoughts float back to johnny

the image of him sitting across from you in the library, laughing and reaching out to ruffle your hair

you remember how excited you’d both been when you got accepted to the same university

how johnny had picked you up in a spinning hug and left you breathless

you remember sitting beside him at orientation, already he’d managed to befriend at least ten people

and you’d wondered how in the world he just attracted other to his energy

you’ve always known him to be carefree and comedian at heart

which is why it was very new,,,,to feel worried about him - to feel scared to see if he was ok

when you walk up to the front door of a house you haven’t seen in a while - you recognize bits and pieces of it from your memory

you and johnny had learned to ride bikes together on his front lawn, how he’d nearly broken his knee falling out of the tree on the corner street trying to get your cat out of the branches

you hesitate before knocking - much like you’d hesitated in front of his apartment door back in the city

but to your shock, the hinges creak and with just the touch of your hand on it - the door opens and you’re meet with a silent hallway

isn’t this like,,,,,breaking and entering?

you think - but the thought doesn’t stop you from going inside and calling out johnny’s name

there’s no response but as you listen closely you can hear something,,,,,,,it’s coming from upstairs

is that - it sounds like the water is running in one of the bathrooms?

you pause and realize you’re that means someone is upstairs

it’s probably johnny! he totally came all the way back home to avoid finals - that idiot!

you rush up the stairs, the familiarity of the house comes back to you, and you find the bathroom with ease

you open it - not concerned about walking in on him, you and johnny went to summer camp together for three years so there’s nothing to be embarrassed about

but when you do - opening your mouth to triumphantly scold johnny about running away from his problems

you freeze

johnny is in the bathtub

or at least

something that looks like johnny is

it’s johnny from the waist up - but from the waist down

it’s a huge, glittering, orange scaled MERMAIDS TAIL?!?!?

your eyes widen and johnny lifts himself on his elbows, a look of horror across his own face

“wh-what are you doing here?!?!?!”

“who cares - johnny why are you a -”

without another word, he dunks his head back under - splashing you and the entire bathroom with a nearly soaking wave

“hey!”

you exclaim - stomping over and leaning over the ledge

you put your hand down, thinking you’ll grab his shoulder

but johnny emerges before you can - and you come face to face with your childhood bestfriend

but his usual features are somehow different - the gills that run below his jawline, the fluttering orange hues that have appeared on the contours of his skin, the casual smile replaced with what looks like genuine terror

“j-johnny, what’s going on?”

he stares - brown eyes darker than you’ve ever seen before

“didn’t i tell you - i got cursed.”

your face twists with confusion

“wh-what are you saying?”

“you weren’t listening? i told you - moon taeil cursed me!”

“he cursed you out! he just yelled at you! he didn’t turn you into a -”

johnny’s face doesn’t change - and you realize that,,,,,,,,,,,,he isn’t joking around

you can feel the water on the bathroom floor soaking through your clothes, the condensation dripping off the wall

how long has johnny been sitting in here?

you pull back a little

“h-how do you know it was him?”

johnny relaxes just a bit too - leaning his head against the wall of the bath

‘well considering he started yelling in tongues at me at first, and the next day i grew gills i would assume you know -”

he shrugs, big shoulders causing ripples through the water

“whatever, i can’t even move with this tail. i came home thinking i could try and figure out something on my own, but then my legs just - just turned into this!”

he closes his eyes and his voice is full of frustration

johnny hasn’t gotten angry in front of you in years - johnny hasn’t even ever raised his voice this way in years

you sigh

“well, ill just go back to school and find taeil and ask him how to fix this.”

johnny slowly opens his eyes back up, before turning to look at you

“don’t worry. this is my problem, you have other things to worry about.”

“what are you talking about - you’re my bestfriend and you’ve been cursed! this takes precedence over other things!”

johnny’s lips twitch - like he wants to say something and you’re half expecting him to

until he just tears his gaze from yours

“i said leave it alone. school is important and it’s all you care about anymore, so just let me deal with-”

you plunge your hand into the water, taking a hold of johnny’s and giving him a bit of a shock

“you’re suffering - how long have you been in this tub? ten says you’ve been gone three days! im not going to leave you, even if it means skipping school.”

johnny blinks, but then curses to himself

“right, ten. i should have at least called him-”

“johnny - you’ve been turned into a mermaid. you can’t even walk right now. let’s stop worrying about other people and figure out what to do ok?”

he doesn’t answer you for a moment

and you think he’s going to spew some more nonsense about refusing your help

but instead he weakly yanks his hand from yours

“can’t believe i had to be cursed for you to show any kind of interest in me again,,,,,”

you want to say something to that - but you ,,,, you have no idea how to respond

and instead you quietly get up and tell johnny you’ll go bring him some food

there’s nothing in the house so you make the short walk to your home

your mom looks shocked to see you, but stacks your arms full of food

before asking

“how is youngho? i miss that boy, remember when you two would stage fake weddings in the living room?”

you roll your eyes - telling her not to embarrass you

but as you’re walking on the path to johnny’s - you feel something,,,,weird

the camera full of photos johnny took of you

ten and others confusing you two for a couple

the plethora of memories you’ve had with johnny, all encompassed in this glowing, warm light in your memory

before, you were just happy with johnny as a friend - even sometimes a little annoyed by his rowdy presence throughout your life

but now it was,,,,,,it was different

something new was emerging with all of these events - but

you couldn’t think about that

after all,,,,,,,,,,,he’d been cursed,,,,,,,,,,,,solving that problem was what should be on your mind

you stay the night at johnny’s place, he can’t move from the bathtub so you leave food and spend some hours just talking to him

realizing as he tells you what has happened so far that even though you and him went to the same school, saw each other on a daily basis

you had never really

asked johnny how he was

how he was holding up

you just always assumed everything was fine - that he was always smiling because he was happy

but as johnny talks, he tells you that classes have been so-so, that he’s thought of switching majors, that he’s been getting into arguments with ten more often and that he hasn’t had a chance to do photography in a while

it reminds you about the camera - which you brought with you and you bring it to johnny

who sits in the tub, looking through them and stopping on that photo he took of you on his balcony

you watch him, seemingly hypnotized by it

before a smile cracks over his features

and he looks up at you

“isn’t it silly - how im looking at this photo of you instead of the real you that’s right in front of me?”

you chuckle, saying something in response about how you didn’t know he took the photo, how you’re not photogenic at all

and for a moment johnny goes back to cracking jokes, being the easy person to be around that you’ve known him to be

but at night, you’re curled up on the sofa - the sound of water turning on and off from upstairs makes you realize

nothing is normal right now - not johnny being cursed, not johnny getting frustrated and angry, and not your feelings about him

before making the trip back to school, you visit johnny whose scratching at his gills and thrashing in the tub

you rush to the side of it and ask if he’s ok

“it just,,,,it hurts - when the gills get dry it feels like i can’t breathe -”

you cup some water from the sink and bring it up to his neck, rubbing your fingers along the gills

johnny makes a noise and leans into your touch

“does this help?”

your voice shakes and johnny nods,

“when you touch me - everything hurts less.”

the moment plays over and over in your mind as you make your way back to campus

it’s all you can think about until you finllay track down moon taeil

he’s alone in the lab, tinkering with something when you storm up to him and demand, like a deranged person, why he turned johnny into a mermaid

calmly taeil looks up at you through his eyelashes

“because he’s annoying”

“you turned him into a MAGICAL FISH PERSON because he annoyed you??!”

taeil shrugs

“sometimes im not nice, sometimes i just decide to curse people.”

“ok well very funny, he’s learned his lesson - how do i change him back? how do i uncurse him?”

taeil moves one of the beakers

you throw a hand down on the counter

“c’mon - listen, i know better than anyone that johnny can talk a lot and be hard to handle but he’s a good person, who just wants people around him to be happy and so -”

taeil smiles and you don’t know what in the world that means

“sounds like you know johnny really well.”

“he’s been my bestfriend since we were kids - of course i do. and that’s why i need you to tell me how to uncurse him!”

“kiss him”

you open your mouth, but no sound comes out

instead you stare into taeil’s clear eyes

“s-s-sorry what?”

“kiss him.”

“who?”

“johnny.”

“wh-what why?”

“you wanna break the curse right?”

dumbfounded you look at taeil to see if he’s joking, because he has to be

but he just looks back with a bored expression on his face

“w-what do i just have to get someone to kiss him and he’ll be fine?”

“no, you have to kiss him.”

“why me?!?!?”

taeil laughs, like this is some big joke and you’re not smart enough to catch on

“everyone knows true loves kiss breaks any curse. so,,,,,go try it out.”

there’s so much you want to say, to dispute - but you don’t even know where to start with this

actually, you want to know how taeil even has the ability to put curses on people in the first place

is he a wizard? is magic like,,,,real? since when were you seo youngho’s true love? why didn’t you get the memo about that?!?!?

you turn, grumbling that fine - whatever, he didn’t want to help then you’d just have to figure out another way to help johnny

but you hear taeil chuckle as you make your way out the door

“im telling you, just kiss him!”

you spend the second trip you make back to your hometown trying to research mermaids and curses and magic

but it all makes your head spin and you feel even worse when you see an email from your professor asking where you’d been this morning

when you get back to johnny, you realize you don’t know how you’re going to tell him that taeil suggested making out as a remedy to his problem

you think - hey, maybe you’ll tell him and you’l have a good laugh and forget it ever happened

maybe it’ll even be a nice way to joke about the situation, but you can’t even bring yourself to go upstairs and see him

at some point you force yourself to and when you open the door to the bathroom

johnny throws his hands up out of the water

“finally! so how are we going to turn me back to a human?”

you shuffle closer and try to think of something to say

“uhhh,,,,,,well actually he said something kind of ,,,, funny”

johnny leans his elbows on the ledge of the tub and rests his cheek on his hand

“funny? do i have to chant a spell or something -”

he laughs and your heart weirdly jumps at the sound

“do i have to say taeil’s the best person on earth or promise that ill stop annoying him for notes in class?”

you shift

“no,,,,he said ,,,,,,, he basically said-”

johnny waits, nodding his head

“what?”

“he said i have to kiss you - and that it has to be me and no one else! can you believe it? im sure he was jokin-”

“ok, so what are we waiting for?”

you tense and johnny doesn’t look like he’s playing around

instead he’s really ,,,,,,, he’s really serious about this as he puts a hand out to motion for you to come over

“c’mon, i would walk to you - but you can see my dilemma”

he gives a splash of his tail and you swallow the lump that’s appeared in your throat

kiss johnny? kiss my bestfriend?

the corner of his mouth twitches and he tries to speak calmly

“hey, i know im not the guy you want to be kissing - no prince charming and all that, but ill be really thankful if you do this for me.”

the first reaction you have is to tell him that,,,,it’s not that you don’t want to be kissing him

but then you stop yourself - because saying that might make this weird

attatching feelings ,,, romantic feelings to this might be wrong

because even though you’re a nervous wreck, heart pounding and room spinning

johnny looks like he’s asking you to go for a walk with him - not kiss him after knowing him for years

which probably means kissing you doesn’t,,,,,excite him - it doesn’t make him swoon like the thought does to you

so you suck it up, tell yourself that this doesn’t mean anything like how you might want it too

you said you’d save johnny - and even though you think taeil is lying about this ‘kiss cures the curse’ thing

you might as well try it - it’s the only lead you have right now

so you walk over, sitting on your knees in front of the ledge

johnny’s face is a little wet, water clinging to the line of his jaw, his eyelashes and lips glistening

when did he get so handsome? when did he stop being the tall, lanky class clown and become,,,,,,,,

he moves the hand he put out to rest on your neck - it’s a little cold and you tilt your heard so it’s easier for him to lean in

you let your eyes flutter close and then you feel johnny’s breath tickle the skin of your cheek

and then he’s kissing you - and he wastes no time really kissing you, tongue running against yours - little sharp intakes of air

you naturally react, putting your own hands in his hair and tugging him as close as the tub will let you

you have half the mind to just let go, and get in the tub - just so this is easier

just so you can wrap your hands around his shoulders

but there’s water everywhere

and when you do break from him - just for a second you debate it

do i care if i get my clothes all wet if it means i get to kiss him more?

your heart makes your decision faster than your mind and you go for it

johnny makes a little sound of shock, but you just murmur that maybe you guys have to kiss for a while longer till the curse breaks

he puts hands on your waist - when you sit on top of him in the water it nearly comes up to past your elbows

it feels weird to be in there with everything on, but you ignore it and duck back down to kiss him again

you two are so busy at it that only realize something is happening when johnny makes a groan against your lips

“what? what’s wrong?”

you ask, panicking

“it’s my ,,,, it’s my legs i can feel them again and it just -”

you look over your shoulder and through the bathwater you can see that johnny’s giant orange tail is gone

“johnny - i think it’s working!”

he moves a bit and you realize you should probably get off him because if he’s turned back to normal

than you are in a bit of a,,,,, interesting,,,,situation

so you do - and johnny wiggles a bit

till you see him pull his legs up - the tops of his knees peeking out the water

you don’t hesitate to throw your arms around his shoulders

“we did it! you’re ok again!”

he laughs against your neck

“can’t believe the kiss really worked- looks like taeil didn’t lie.”

you nod and then sigh

“im sure if i got anyone to kiss you, it would work. taeil kept saying it had to be me, but what if i got that girl you really liked in freshman year - irene? to kiss you then it would at least be wor-”

you’re interrupted by johnny pulling you back down in for another kiss

it’s softer than the first one, nothing more than a short peck

but when he let’s you go

he stares at you

“i think the only kiss that would uncurse me would have to be something from somebody i love, like in a fairy tail.”

you blink, feeling the rush of blood to your face

“love? like in our friendship kind of w-”

“you were just sitting on top of me and making out with me in a very,,,,,not just friendship kind of way ,,,, so”

he makes a kind of smirking face and you have the urge to roll your eyes

but it’s true, friends don’t kiss friends like that

even if it’s to uncurse them from being turned into a mermaid

“well anyway, i should get you some clothes.”

you start

“and you should change - i know you were dying to kiss me all these years but just getting into a tub like that was not a great idea-”

this time you do roll your eyes, mumble him to save it and leave the room

as you’re pulling some old shirts out of his rooms closest, you can’t help but smile to yourself

‘something from somebody i love’

you and johnny return to school the next day

you come on campus, johnny walking you to your first class with his hand in yours

he kisses the top of it as he drops you off

and you tell him not to be embarrassing, but he just shakes his head

“after liking you for so long - im going to be as lovey dovey as i want - now that i can do it in public”

you finally see ten and apologize for giving him another panic, but ten doesn’t seem to be as mad when he notices johnny’s hand around your waist

and then

you two bump into moon taeil

who refuses to answer - how in the world he managed to curse someone in this modern day and age

but comments on how he’ll vote you two cutest couple for this months issue of the uni magazine

you and johnny stand their dumbfounded as the senior walks off

and then you hear johnny go

“next time your boyfriend tells you he got cursed - will you believe me?”

you scrunch up your nose

“my boyfriend better not get cursed again”

“listen, you know me - “

he points to himself up and down

“im the one who gets cursed in the relationship and you’re the ones with the brains to get me back to normal - that’s why we work so well together”

“oh shut it johnny!” you laugh and push at him playfully before he pulls you back into his chest

you laugh against the front of his shirt, happy that everything has fallen back into place

and no one will ever believe your boyfriend turned into a mermaid just so you could both realize you’re in literal love with each other LOL

#the 'when you touch me - everything hurts less' line...........when i wrote that? tears! tears right into my pillow!#nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct au #johnny scenarios #johnny imagines #johnny au #nct 127 scenarios #nct 127 imagines #nct 127 au #member: johnny #seo youngho #youngho scenarios #sfw #mermaid!au

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ddaenggtan · 5 years

Text

forever rain | knj - teaser

Being dead isn't anything exciting. Just a lot of walking the same halls of the same apartment day after day after day. Things change when the new tennant arrives, though. Kim Namjoon isn't anything you could have expected; not the way he's so careful and gentle with his plants because he breaks so many other things, not the way his friends joke that he's psychic because you refuse to let him get in the face one time, and certainly not the way he comes home after literal months spent moving things away from table edges for him and announces that he knows he's being haunted and he has some questions for you. You didn't know ghosts could fall in love, but he makes you feel alive again, like you're standing in the rain while thunder crashes around you. You should've known nothing good would come of falling in love with someone living, though. You should've known that heartbreak was the only way this could end...that the rain doesn't last forever.

part of the Love Yourself Collab, please please please go check out the other fics. Everyone involved is so freaking talented and I have been vibrating out of my skin with how excited I’ve been to read all of these.

pairing | kim namjoon x reader (unspecified gender, even!)

genre/warnings | ghost!reader, slight fluff, there are a lot more for the actual fic so definitely read those when it comes out, i’m not kidding i definitely want you to come and yell at me in my ask when you finish it, but pls don’t send things about what happens bc ur mad about it bc u didn’t read the warnings, y’all are a smart bunch but i know firsthand how skipping warnings can punch u in the gut so just,,,,,,,read the warnings on the full fic lmao

a/n | this is just a teaser for the full fic which is gonna post,,,,,,,,,,,,at some point lmao who knows i haven’t actually decided yet!!! yay me!!!! hahahaha stress!! it’ll definitely go up on my ao3 as well, so if you have alerts on for me there, you’ll get notified that way! for now, have this! and don’t kill me when the rest comes out!!

The creak of the front door pulls you from your thoughts, and the echo of a voice makes you narrow your eyes. Your first instinct is to slam some windows to scare off whoever's in your apartment, but you repress the urge. You'd die of boredom if you could die again, and whoever this is could provide a few hours' entertainment at the least.

You pop your head through the bathroom wall to see what's going on, and wow, who let an actual giant into your apartment? Fucking with the pipes could definitely wait for this guy.

"I know it's last minute, yeah," He says into the phone that's held carefully between his cheek and shoulder. His arms are loaded down with boxes and he's angled away from you just enough that you can't see his face, but he's tall and broad and wearing what looks like the world's comfiest sweater, and you want to badly to wrap yourself up in him. "But you know Joon needs the help. Don't pretend you aren't constantly willing to put off your thesis, I know for a fact that you went out to look at stationery with Tae last week, and everyone knows that's the most boring thing on the planet."

He's quiet, listening to the soft crackle of a voice from the other end. You slide through the wall completely, hovering as close as you dare to try and hear what the other person is saying. Tall, Broad, and Comfy scoffs.

"He can stare at one sheet of paper for at least ten minutes, Yoongi. Do I need to remind you of the time he spent an entire fucking hour debating which set of holiday scrapbook to buy because, and I quote, 'this one has the really nice rose pattern on it that would look great with the invitations, but, oh, look at the pinstripes in this one!'" His voice morphs into what you guess is an approximation of whoever Tae is, and you laugh at the high-pitched, nasally tone.

Tall and Broad spins, eyes narrowing as he looks around the room, and fuck, he's literally gorgeous. You've never seen someone more attractive in your life or your death and it would probably knock the wind out of you if you actually had breath. Comfy McGorgeous turns back around and sets the stack of boxes in the corner, continuing his tirade about Tae and stationery while simultaneously trying to talk Yoongi into coming, you assume, to help Joon move. You don't know who any of these people are, but they're already proving to be the most entertaining bunch that's ever graced these walls.

The door to your apartment flies open, making both you and Boyfriend Material whip your head around.

"Christ, Jin, you couldn't hold the fucking door open for us?" Someone grunts. Beauty Von Softness - or, Jin, as you should probably refer to him - winces and strides over to do just that as two more guys stagger in with a couch suspended between them. The second they're in the door they drop it to the ground and flop onto it, panting and sweaty.

"Listen, I was busy trying to get our resident hermit out of his cave to help us carry some of this shit," Jin spits back. "And you all know what it's like getting him out and about."

"Did you tell him that there's pizza after we're done? Because I've found that food is the best motivator for him," the guy closest to the door says. His hair is soft-looking and long and you wish you could pet it.

The other guy, the one who cursed Jin out and has the softest pink hair you've ever seen, laughs. "Jeongguk, you always think the best motivator is food."

"Well, yeah, because it is."

"For you, maybe. Other people require actual rewards."

"But food is a reward," Jeongguk mutters into the fabric of the couch. Jin tsks and smacks As Yet Unnamed on the back of the head.

"You're lucky I hung up on him when you bombarded your way into this place, or he'd definitely not come help us," Jin says as he leans against the back of the couch.

Unnamed starts to say something else but is cut off by someone running straight into the end of the couch. They all shoot to their feet, spouting apologies as the three of them maneuver the couch into the apartment properly.

"Sorry, sorry, Jimin distracted us from properly finishing our job," Jeongguk says quickly. He looks to the stranger with a small apologetic smile, and you're pretty sure if it were humanly possible, there would be actual literal stars in his eyes.

"Oh, it's okay, Jeonggukkie. I should've been looking where I was going." New Challenger walks straight towards where you stand, and you realize seconds before it's too late that he is not aware there is a massive stack of boxes in his path. Instinctively, you shove them to the side with your foot. Tall And Oblivious sets his boxes down without any trouble, none the wiser about any of it, and the three near the couch are too busy bickering in hushed whispers to have noticed you doing anything.

The newcomer straightens and turns to look at them all with a bright smile, and you think you might actually see The Light in the way his cheeks dimple. If you thought the other three were beautiful - which they are, no doubt about that, you're seriously wondering why the hell a bunch of supermodels are moving stuff into your apartment - then this guy is easily an Actual Fucking God or something. His brown hair is soft and shiny, his smile is warmer than the sun, and you're fairly positive that for the first time since you died, you feel goosebumps along your arms.

"Seriously, Namjoon, we should've realized you'd be up soon. You stay, start unpacking while we go get the rest of the furniture." Jimin shoves Jeongguk out the door while he's speaking, ignoring the taller's complaints, and Jin just shakes his head at the sight.

"Yoongi'll be here soon, he's finishing up another draft of his thesis. Hobi and Tae are stopping to get the pizzas and then they'll be here, too." Jin's voice is calmer than it was Jimin and Jeongguk, more soothing, and it makes you curious. Not only because of the tone change, but because you know Hobi, he owns the building and is the one who rented you the apartment when you first moved in. One of your favorite things to do is scare him when he comes by to make sure everything’s ready for a viewing.

"What? No, I said I was gonna pay for pizzas!" Namjoon looks distinctly more upset about this than someone should over not having to pay for pizza, at least in your mind, and it only makes you more curious.

"Yeah, but you also just moved out of your old apartment because it was too expensive, and had like an hour to load everything into a truck, so you're gonna let their trust fund asses pay for pizzas. We're seven adult men, and Guk could eat an entire horse and still be hungry. I'm not letting you pay for that."

Silence hangs in the apartment for a while before Namjoon gives a soft thanks to Jin. They share a smile before Jin makes his way back out. You follow each step, shadowing him all the way to the door before you're stopped. You lean your entire body forward, struggling against the invisible barrier keeping you inside, and the force of it nearly slams you back into the wall when you sag in defeat.

You aren't sure why you try anymore, but you know yourself well enough to admit that you're not going to stop until you can at least make it to the hallway.

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the-coolest-mallard · 4 years

Text

Homework Woes

Yes, you guessed it. Louie and his experience with homework.

Words required for Lena: 2006 exactly

There were days like today where Louie desperately wished he could just drop out of school and become a gangster. Or maybe he’d ditch school and join a circus. Or somehow out of the blue he’d make it big in a rock band and never have to study for any test or do any homework ever again. Oh how badly he wished he could do any of those things instead of stare down the assignment that Mr. Lyons had given them because he hated his students. Louie was sure the guy had to be hating them.

And okay, Simba Lyons was a cool dude when he wasn’t teaching. But teaching meant that he gave Louie stuff to do, and Louie didn’t like stuff. Especially not stuff about the medieval times and the days where people smelled really bad and thought kings were the shit. Maybe the kings had the shits, but Louie was fairly sure not a single one of those old farts was any good. The only dude that was interesting was one of the Henrys, and only because he went full psycho!

But no, here was Louie, stuck writing a paper on some asshole King Richard III. Well, he was doing his best. But Uncle Donald was working, and Huey was off doing who knew what, so Louie didn’t really have any good helpers to make sure his work made sense so far. As he glanced down at what he had, he couldn’t help but be dismayed by his efforts.

Rihard the third was burn the youngest sun and was considred to be a loser. No one cared.

Well, at least Louie could kind of sympathize for the dude. Like Louie, he was the youngest probably talentless guy who nobody really cared about. Though he would guess that this Richard dude could probably spell better than Louie could. His letters were all over the place. He was all over the place. He was pretty sure this Richard dude caused a big family drama, but he wasn’t sure that he had the right family drama written down. He knew about the Henry that chopped heads off, but that wasn’t the Henry that Richard’s family was against. At least he was pretty sure. Why did English history have to have so many repeated names for royalty? It was so damn confusing!

Okay focus Louie. Focus! He told himself, eyebrows furrowing as he glanced at the textbook he had, as well as extra material he’d researched on academic sites online. Well, he’d found an article or two before he’d completely lost focus and started playing games on his computer. But he was getting there. Slowly. Probably. Well he had like two sentences written in his draft. That was two more than there had been an hour ago. God help him. Louie was going to die writing this paper, he was sure of it.

For a moment Louie found himself tempted to try to reach out to Mark. Maybe he’d text Mark about how the next guy to die by crazy medieval death would be Louie! Or he’d text Mark and tell him that he couldn’t do anymore of this paper and that he should come over. Or he should send Mark cool pictures of himself and insist Mark send some back. Anything other than actually work on this medieval paper for History class. “Okay...okay if i just add this part here. This part is important I can do that and it’ll be...yeah.”

Richard’s bro Edward became King of England after people bitched about who was sposed to be King. He becm King Edward IV on March 4th, 1461. This made our guy Richie a royal prince.

Louie dropped his pen and sighed, staring at the tragic abyss that was all the blank space of his notebook. He’d had to ban himself from his computer to write it (though it would have good spellcheck, because there were just too many ways to distract himself on there) and now he felt like his hand was going to die. He’d only written a few sentences. God, why couldn’t Louie be smart like his brother? Or at least let him be smart for these occasions where it kind of mattered? Louie dreamed of getting through this paper with minimal crying.

His head jerked up at that, and he found his fingers already twitching for his phone. Speaking of crying, Louie should text Tae and see how bad off he had it with this whole thing. He was pretty sure Tae would hate this just as much as he did. Louie debated over what to say, before he grinned and just sent: ‘couldn’t give a fuck bot dis Richard dude. Howre u doin with ur old fart paper?’ Louie then forced himself to set his phone aside again and stare at the words on his computer screen. This Richard dude dealt with a fucked up situation. That part Louie had been able to focus on. It was just hard to write about said fucked up situation without writing it terribly.

He already knew what comments he’d get with this: decent fact finding, but could stand to write in a more academic way. This is a research paper, not a casual conversation among friends. Stuff like that. He’d probably get more shit than that, but Louie was pretty familiar with all the red marks and comments he got for his shitty work. “Ugggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh,” Louie whined, throwing his head back and slumping in his chair. How did smart people do this? Louie struggled so hard to get through a paragraph!

Maybe he should try music. Louie hadn’t considered that option yet, but it was definitely one that could potentially get him through his paper. Music had to be it! After all, spotify had all kinds of study playlists and shit, things to help someone get through the work they were trying to do. Maybe Louie would do that. So he went ahead and switched on one of those study playlists and started reading stuff on this Richard dude again. But then the music was so calming, and Louie’s eyelids started drooping. His head started to drop, and then the next thing he knew he was jerking awake and looking at the clock.

“Oh shit! You slept for an hour Louie? Oh goooood why am I such a fucking idiooooot,” he moaned, putting his head in his hands and shaking his head desperately. This was so bad. Louie was so doomed if he didn’t get this paper done by midnight. He had four hours left or something, but he needed every damn second of that time. Writing all of this was so much harder for him than other people. Other people didn’t struggle to keep focused on one thing for as long as Louie did. He was going to fail and end up as a horribly sad janitor and everyone would laugh at him. Louie could see a tragic future.

So he decided he was going to pep up his mood a little. He took a nap? Now it was time to play some lively music and get back into it. Louie turned on Green Day. Louie started bobbing his head enthusiastically, glancing over at his computer to see what he could add about this Richard guy. If he were truly honest, the history was kind of interesting, but Louie still couldn’t keep himself focused enough to get through it more efficiently. He was on to the next little segment for himself, eyebrows furrowing as he debated how to put it.

Richie becm duk of gloucster n a knight of the roun table? or just a knight? something bout a garter. He was placed in a house of the kingmaker guy and grew to be an adult there i guess. ADULTS WERE 16. means im an adult and-

Louie cut himself off. Not important for the purposes of the essay, but he did debate over coming at his uncle with that. Like, ‘listen Uncle Donald, I know there are some dumb rules here, but I’m an adult in the medieval world. I can do what i want!’ Yeah, that probably wouldn’t go over very well, but Louie liked to believe he could have more control over his life. It gave him a satisfying feeling. Or the pretense of satisfaction. Much more satisfying than working on this thrice cursed paper for History.

He tapped his pen against his chin, tilting his head as he tried to review some more notes and stuff when an absolute bop of a Green Day song came on. “Oh shit, gotta turn that up.” Louie turned up the volume for his speakers and got to his feet, dramatically playing the guitar for the song. It was too good to ignore! “I walk a lonely road the only one that I have ever knowwwwwwwn don’t know where it goes but it’s home to me and I walk alone!” Louie belted it out, not caring about who would here because well, apparently none of his family was around to help him suffer less. He rocked the air guitar, letting his head rock with it and himself pretend he was the amazingly talented Mike Dirnt. He forgot himself for a song before sighing and heading back towards his table and misery. Why did history have to suck so badly?

“Okay Richard, man...couldn’t you help a guy out and write this for me?” Louie suggested with a laugh, shaking his head as he glanced down at what he’d written. He really didn’t have much at all. He was doomed to a life of failure and crime probably. While his brother Huey became Prime Minister or some shit one day, Louie would be nothing. A no good hoodlum or a janitor or a tragically broke musician or something. The longer this went on the more depressing his future looked. He could cry. “Right so so...war of the roses started again right? It stopped chilling out....when.” His eyebrows furrowed, glancing at his paper and the computer with a sigh.

The rose war started up agin in 1469 when Richard and King Edwrds bro n the kingmaker guy Warwick were like ‘f u Edward’ n seized control of Eddie an his gov. Our dude Richie stayed loyal cuz he wasnt a piece of shit bro.

Louie glanced over what he wrote and shrugged. Was it informal? Yes. Did he basically know the history of this dude? Sort of. Mostly. Honestly, at least Louie was making the story more accessible. Maybe this paper could be his Hamilton. He was just offering it to the masses. The masses wanted information that wasn’t horribly bland and basic! Louie was totally delivering on that. In his opinion anyway. He was still probably going to fail this paper.

But he had made it so far, so Louie let himself keep trying, figuring he still had a few hours leeway to make it sound more “academic” and “boring” rather than his actual writing and thinking style. Why were academic people so lame? Louie sighed, leaning over his paper again to start writing.

Warwick n the dumbass bro reinstated one of the Henrys...3? 4? who the fuck evn knows? 5? Before our man Richie and his bro King Eddie came back n KICKED ASS MAN. Took the throne back after a year lol bitches u tried.

Louie rubbed his eyes tiredly, getting up to go grab himself a snack. He was working hard. He was doing better than usual. Usually by now he’d have given up and just started playing games (or called Mark to do something actually fun). Instead Louie brought himself some crisps, a can of soda, and some chocolate for when it got too depressing to last without sweetness. He could do this! He could do this right? As it got later he started to debate the merit of selling his soul and offering it to Mr. Lyons. Maybe then the dude would go easy on Louie’s best effort. He really had tried.

#bdrplabors #lmao this one's actually really fun #louie physically paining me with his lack of interest in medieval history #this is so funny though #his ADHD kicking in of course #but also just #imagine explaining history like this #lmao

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automatismoateo · 5 years

Text

I am living proof that the grass is greener once you abandon your toxic family members. via /r/atheism

Submitted July 30, 2019 at 02:03AM by ifunnycadetbonespurs (Via reddit https://ift.tt/2GAEbDm) I am living proof that the grass is greener once you abandon your toxic family members.

Looking back on my life I was extremely lucky. I (31 M) was raised by a single mom who, although was religious, never set the stipulation of belief on me. She always left it up to me and made it clear that I had a choice (despite my current beliefs that we likely do not have a choice when it comes to beliefs). She couldn’t answer most of my questions but never discouraged me from asking them. Nonetheless I did end up believing heavily that Jesus Christ was my “personal Lord and Savior”. Whenever I was 16 years old I got into a bunch of trouble, mostly underage drinking, marijuana possession and then vehicular theft which landed me in jail. I ended up doing a little over year altogether before I reached 18 but while I was in there I read the Bible. I read it twice. It did in fact reinforce a lot of my beliefs and I remember feeling “a presence” so I went with it. Once I got out of jail I wanted, classically, to prove my religion to others. I wanted to save as many souls as I could. I started reading from all angles as I’ve always done. I’m not so much of a centrist politically, but I’m not ever going to fall into the trap of intellectually isolating myself. I read from all sides very regularly. So, naturally I wanted to read about external sources regarding the Bible. I wanted to read about the historicity of the Bible. As you can imagine that journey led me to the truth, which is that the book is proof of nothing; certainly nothing supernatural. I learned about all of these denominations, there’s different religions, even cults in which people clearly felt the same “presence”. The more and more I learned about history and science, the less I believed. I think having experiences with LSD and mushrooms really helped my critical thought process during this time. Then I went from one end to the other, wanting to prove as many Christians wrong as I could. These were dark times as I seem to have learned nothing from the first round of believing Christianity. I found myself evangelizing for atheism which sickened me. I came to understand that I can be a living example rather than trying to provide examples for everybody to not believe this or that. I kept doing me, kept researching, stopped putting my opinions out there; and it was great.

In the course of about a week I slowly came to the conclusion that I no longer would remain apathetic around false beliefs and fallacious claims. I vowed that I would now call them out, respectively. This began another dark time in my life. I found no matter how polite I was that the more I spread the truth and the value of critical thought, the more people thought I hated them and or their beliefs. I had relationships dropping left and right and I would be left asking myself afterwards, “Is this worth it?”. Before I get into the specific details on each family member, I want to clarify that Donald Trump aided this process greatly. I, in fact, had no clue that most of my family are scumbags. As you will see, it turns out many of them were and still are.

First it was my uncle. He is an evangelical Christian and a republican Trump supporter, something I never really noticed while I was a believer and even when I was de-converting back to atheism. One day my wife got a message from him on social media, it was a piece of garbage; Trumpian Christian evangelical fear mongering nationalist propaganda. Not having the social media app myself, I quickly downloaded it under the pretense that those were the rules now. We can share propaganda now with each other and our loved ones, great. So I started sending him Carlin quotes, Ricky Gervais quotes, small speeches by Sam Harris about Christianity and the like. As it should, this sparked many debates. I learned that my uncle thinks Hillary Clinton is knowingly working directly for Satan, liberals are trying to make everyone gay and/or trans, and 12-year-old rape victims should be forced to carry out the pregnancy and give birth to the rapist’s child. Honestly, he even alluded to his belief that the dad, the rapist, should be able to visit the child down the road. That’s what did it for me. Goodbye, Uncle. To be honest, that was when I deleted the app as well because his page was a cesspool that I became way too familiar with, and it caused me a great deal of worry while diminishing much of my already dwindling hope for future society.

Next it was my dad. This one was much shorter because my dad never gave a shit about me and stopped regularly reaching out when I was 6 so we never had a real relationship to terminate. It turned out to be a good thing though because he was insanely violent, alcoholic, and you guessed it—religious. Years after he left when I was 18, I was questioning my mom yet again as to why she would have babies with this obviously bad man and she admitted to me that he raped her and that’s how I was conceived. I had contact with my dad, however minimal, but that ended immediately upon learning this information. The sliver of a relationship we had was shit and toxic. The only real reason I continue to have any relationship with him is because of the societal view of “he’s still your dad.“ Still, it was my dad who used to abuse my mom in front of us regularly, he abused us kids as well and if you met my sister you would be able to see plainly how destructive that abuse turned out to be. My sister used to beat her dogs, and one time my dad came over and said, “what’s wrong with this dog?” because the dog was head shy when he went to pet it. I said to him, “She beat the dog so much that it’s head shy now.” He replied, “can she find me a girlfriend?” Think about how big of a piece of shit you must have to be to abuse your whole family, leave them and then come back years later to make jokes about enjoying how timid that abuse makes women. A separate time he came over when my kids were watching Mr. Rogers. He told me in front of my kids, “I never used to let you guys watch Mr. Rogers because I thought he was gay.” Again, he was a total piece of shit and still is today. Also I’d like to mention he’s an avid Trump supporter. Shocking. I cut him the fuck out and it’s been amazing. I made sure to mention to him and his new wife (who told us that she had been in abusive relationships before) that he broke his previous girlfriends ribs, raped my mom, and abused us all. She is still with him today.

Finally the most recent one which is my wife’s grandma. I know, I know, it sounds like it’s going to be cruel. Well the only cruel thing about this one was her. My 4 1/2-year-old daughter came to her house and was playing with dolls and Grandma asked her what she was doing. My daughter replied, “They are getting married.” But the problem was that they were two girl dolls. Then, apparently my grandma raised the issue and pushed back, telling my daughter that marriage is not for those couples. Thankfully my daughter also pushed back saying, “ I don't want to marry a boy, I want to marry a girl. My daddy showed me a video about it.” Now, I don’t think I need to say this but I’m not raising my daughter to believe that same sex marriage isn’t a reality. The fact is it exists, what’s more, I approve of it and when my daughter is an adult she can decide for herself. Whatever she decides has no significance to me or my love for her. As to the video, I don’t know specifically what she’s talking about but it’s likely that she may have been looking over my shoulder while I was watching wedding videos online of our many gay friends who have gotten married. Anyways, Grandma gets really mad and sends my wife and I a text message saying,

“I hope both of you are happy and proud of yourselves for working intensely to indoctrinate your precious, formerly innocent 4 1/2 year old daughter. How immature r you 2 feel u have to tell ___________ that you don't need to marry a man when u grow up and I quote her " I don't want 2 marry a boy; I want 2 marry a girl... my Daddy showed me a video about it". ( this came after she saw ___________ and my wedding photo.)

I felt sick to my stomach and it absolutely breaks my heart 2 see how you 2 r no different than parents who tell their kids 2 hate black people or " that brown church is bad they say bad things in there".

So immature, so hateful!!!

A little child can be taught to go w their parents 2 feed the needy or help / visit the elderly in a nursing home.. o, so many good honorable things.

Your beautiful children are being taught things that children r entirely too young 2 think about now. When they're older they can decide who they want 2 marry ... You two are so focused on telling her ( eventually ________) that gays r so wonderful and so mistreated... did u ever consider telling them that there r many other people who need love help encouragement and hugs... yes, hugs, ________.

What is your over zealous fascination with defending gays ? How about defending your Christian Grandma who has only ever tried to be kind loving 2 people.

I wanted planned 2 talk 2 You Both a week ago but you said you've been so stressed and _______ went 2 ER... yes, I prayed for him will continue to, whether I have your approval or not.

I won't be silent anymore as heartbreakingly sad this is for me 2 say, but if you want me to be a part of your family, you will have to immediately stop this hateful indoctrination, or I'll just bow out... with the greatest sadness I'll probably ever feel, except when ___________ died.

It hurts me so deeply that you are willing with strong determination, to indoctrinate your beautiful children with this Hateful diatribe!!! I can't hear it! the stress heartbreak is too much for me to take anymore.

Since my car's not working, I can't talk to you both, in person, unfortunately... hard when the kids are around... and they DEFINITELY DON'T NEED ANYMORE GRIEF PUT INTO THEIR INNOCENT SOULS!!

PLEASE DON'T TAKE AWAY ANY MORE OF THEIR INNOCENCE!

Your Heartbroken Grandma

( I know you won't chastise ___________ for the remark since she's only repeating what's she's been told).”

— END

So to clear up some things, I never said brown churches are bad, I never told my daughter to be gay, all I’ve done is explain to her that gay people exist and when you are older you get to choose whether or not you want to marry a boy, girl, or neither. Let’s say hypothetically I did try and indoctrinate her to be gay, that still wouldn’t equate me with white supremacists who are known for outright murder and violent racism. My response was brief, needless to say I ended that relationship as well. She isn’t my grandma to begin with, she’s my wife’s grandma. This one is probably the most satisfying toxic relationship to walk away from for me.

I’m writing just to explain to other people who may wonder if it’s worth it to cut out toxic, in this case religious, family members. It is worth it, I’ve never been happier. The lesson I have learned from all of this is; speak the truth and stand up to unfounded beliefs when you are around them. Don’t compromise that for anyone. There are some cases in which yes, maybe you have a 95-year-old grandma who is going to die any day now who believes gay people will burn forever in hell... do spare her. My wife’s grandma is 75 and sharp, she has no business threatening the very relationship with my daughter over her fear mongered beliefs that continue to poison her brain every night while watching Fox News.

EDIT: If you are a college student or are for one reason or another financially dependent on your parents, there’s no shame in waiting to “come out”. If you’re not being abused you should likely avoid contact and become financially independent before going all fallacy vigilante during thanksgiving.

#reddit

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