#i used to love early morgana/merlin's friendship | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fluffypotatey · 9 months

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*smashes in like the Kool-Aid man*

PENDRAGON SIBLINGS YOU SAY????

I have. So many Feels. About Themst™

The complexity?? The layers?? The angst?? Hello??????

Their relationship is just So Much, because you are right, it's all tangled up in miscommunication and missed opportunities, and so many problems that can be sourced back to Uther "War Crimes" Pendragon, who wouldn't know a healthy relationship if it bit him on the ass.

If Merlin and Arthur are two sides of the same coin, then Arthur and Morgana are edges of the same blade.

Because it's the lonely childhoods, the shared grief, the friendship, the vulnerability, the fondness, the teasing, the envy, the jealousy, the almost romance, the protectiveness, the betrayal, the loss, the hurt, the refusal to let go and the desperate hanging on, and the love, the love, the love.

Indifference is the true opposite of love.

Hate is love that's gone rotten.

“If Merlin and Arthur are two sides of the same coin, then Arthur and Morgana are edges of the same blade.” oh fuck….

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCK

WAIT HOLD ON WAIT LEMME PIGGYBACK ON THAT BESTIE @0hheytherebigbadwolf (tagging you bc it will be a couple days after you sent this ask)

(Also, for anyone wanting background context on what me and bestie are bouncing off on: voilà)

OK OK SO

we are all familiar with King Uther being the greatest (worst) dad of all time, correct? places such high expectations on his “only son and heir” whilst never officially acknowledging Morgana as his daughter until the very end?

F+ father of the year :)

he is not above sending his children into the dungeon if they disobey him as seen here:

(Jfc he even put Morgana in chains like wtf)

also, he is not above using emotional guilt towards them when he deems it necessary (aka one of the only times he actually acknowledges them as his children)

UTHER (1x02 Valiant) I trust you will make me proud.

UTHER (1x08 The Beginning of the End) I’ve treated you like a daughter. Is this how you repay me?

UTHER (1x12 To Kill the King) You are the daughter I never had.

UTHER (2x08 Sins of the Father) You would believe a sorcerer’s lies over the word of your father?

not to mention that when Arthur or Morgana try to reason with him or argue with him since they are the only ones with the status to do so, he pulls rank

UTHER (1x12 To Kill the King) May I remind you that you are speaking to your King [...] Take care, child, or I’ll have you restrained.

UTHER (2x08 Sins of the Father) I am your king and your father. You will show me some respect!

UTHER (2x06 Beauty and the Beast) We live in dangerous times, I cannot allow you to undermine my authority.

UTHER (3x10 Queen of Hearts) You have caused this to happen, Arthur. My decision is final.

ngl i could include more but i have already spent hours searching for shit (YOUTUBE WILL DIE BY MY HAND THAT STINGY BITC—) but y’all get what i mean: Uther is an abusive fucker and it has messed up the conditions of Arthur and Morgana

now, about the double edged blade…..

as previously established, Uther is a fucking dick and wants his children to obey him but also adore him. with this behavior, the Pendragon siblings react in two ways: with anger & contempt or submission and remorse

way #1

i’m gonna start with Morgana because anger is the easiest to pick out throughout the show. in the first episode of the first season, our introduction to Morgana’s character is her lecturing Uther about executing the man Merlin witnessed upon entering Camelot (such a warm welcome for Emrys, mh?)

MORGANA I just don't think chopping someone's head off is cause for a celebration. That poor mother. UTHER It was simple justice for what he'd done. MORGANA To whom? He practiced some magic, he didn't hurt anyone. UTHER You were not around twenty years ago, you have no idea what it was like. MORGANA How long are you going to keep punishing people for what happened then?

early on, it is easy to pick up on Morgana’s resentment and anger at Uther, who she believes is blinded by his fear of magic and his need for control (which she isn’t wrong about). also, we find that she isn’t one to back off when poking the bear (Uther). she does it constantly in seasons 1 & 2

MORGANA (1x03 Mark of Nimueh) Why would she kneel on a cold stone floor morning after morning when she could make these things happen with a snap of her fingers? Like an idle king!

MORGANA (1x08 The Beginning of the End) How can this child be your enemy? He's just a boy. UTHER He is a Druid. MORGANA Is that such a crime?…What have these people done to you? Why are you so full of hate?

UTHER (2x04 Lancelot and Guinevere) How many men would you have me sacrifice to save a servant? MORGANA As many as it takes!

to be honest, i wouldn’t be surprised if screaming, arguing and berating Uther about his morals and ethics is her way of proving that she is not weak or submissive to his actions. i mean, Morgana grew up in a household the complete opposite from her time in Camelot. Gorlois, the man whom Morgana considers to be her father and one and only family member, was said to be “just” and “kind” and someone that Uther even considered a good friend who openly kept him in check. Morgana, until the age of ten, understood parental love and empathy unlike Arthur, who spent his whole life without any good or healthy substance of it.

the culture of Camelot and Uther’s wrath is not something Morgana was ever able to fully acclimate to as Uther himself pointed out in 1x12. She “was at odds with [him] since the beginning” and could never picture herself as a Pendragon (point further proven in 4x05: she looked revolted when Queen Annis compared her to Uther) because she didn’t share in their idea of magic = evil and a king = absolute control.

ironic in terms of future plot events, isn’t it :’)

way #2

compare that to Arthur: man’s respressed af. keeps all his emotions under lock and key if they are anything but haughty and serious. y’all, Arthur even says it himself how he “[can't] disagree with Father [Uther] in public.” whenever Arthur finds himself at odds with Uther, he holds his tongue and waits until he can disobey secretly (2x05 when he leaves to rescue Gwen, 1x08 when he helps Morgana sneak out Mordred in the dark of the night, 2x08 when he sneaks out to meet Morgause for more info about his mom, etc). it is only the rare moments when Arthur feels impassioned enough to speak up without fearing any retribution does Arthur talk back at him (so satisfying 👌)

ARTHUR (1x03 Mark of Nimueh) [Morgana’s] right, Father. You hear the word magic, you no longer listen.

ARTHUR (2x08 Sins of the Father) This is what fuels your hatred for those who practice magic. Rather than blame yourself for what you did, you blame them….You hunted her kind like animals! How many hundreds have you condemned to death to ease your guilt?!….You speak of honour and nobility! You're nothing but a hypocrite and a liar!

ARTHUR (3x10 Queen of Hearts) You can't forbid my feelings any more than I can. I won't deny them any longer, I love her. I love Guinevere.

we can even compare how the two react to Uther’s violence towards them

(ahahahahahaaaaa what a wonderful dad)

on the left, you see Arthur’s face right when Uther crushes the morteus flower needed to heal Merlin (his manservant/friend/????) and on the right, is Morgana after Uther discovers she was harboring a Druid child in her chambers and she refuses to listen to his reason.

notice how both faces are remarkably similar 👀

however, Arthur’s look of shock and dismay come from his hope that Uther would do the right thing. that he would help save Merlin’s life from dying of poison. that he wouldn’t use this as a method to teach Arthur “what it means to disobey and cross the king.” he truly did hope, just like he always does with the people he holds close. Arthur cannot help but hope and trust that those close to him will not betray him and yet so many do. hence the remorse

looking at Morgana, her shock comes from the fact that this might be the first time Uther reacted to her words and actions in a physical manner. my suspicion is that most of the time, all Morgana previously got was Uther reprimanding her and yelling at her to stop questioning his methods (bc, let’s be real, she was the favorite child.) never has he lifted a finder on her like Arthur and i have proof (cue transcript!)

AND! and, Arthur is constantly warning Morgana about not angering Uther any further because of the consequences she might face (consequences this boy is very familiar with) when Uther deems it necessary to “teach” his children obedience.

UTHER (1x04 The Poisoned Chalice) You have to learn there's a right and a wrong way of doing things. I'll see you're let out in a week. Then you can find yourself another servant.

UTHER (3x10 Queen of Hearts) You have caused this to happen, Arthur. My decision is final [...] This is for your own good. - UTHER She will die. The enchantment will be broken. You'll see I was right.

UTHER (2x08 Sins of the Father) I am protecting you from your own foolishness!

so educational 🥰 but see, because Uther presents his punishments as lessons, Arthur himself views them as just a fucked up but meaningful way of his father’s concern because “yeah, I am the first born son and only heir to the throne. of course I need to learn not to do silly things like disobey, talk back to him, be my own person.” <- I’m paraphrasing here

Arthur does and has never seen a way out of the life thrust upon him by Uther (see 3x06). succeeding Uther as king, marrying a noblewoman of high standing for heirs and alliance strength was always expected of him. Arthur never saw a way out of this. even when he and Gwen were in their secret relationship phase, Arthur had to remind himself that this would never last. he loved her and knew she loved him, but there was always that reminder (that sounded a lot like Uther) in the back of his head telling him that it would never last so long as he was prince. he had a duty (constructed by Uther) to serve Camelot and going against his father would mean (in his eyes) that he is going against Camelot (as Uther always presented it to be).

so unlike Morgana, he did not kick and scream but stood firm because that was what he believed was stronger. if he stayed in his lane and did his part, then he would be a good king, maybe even a better one than his father, for Camelot. however, the show proves that differentiating himself from Uther actually made him the better king and more respected, but this is not the meta for that. I am getting side tracked.

OK: so we’ve established parental issues between the two siblings. now onto their very complex, complicated yet beloved dynamic

sO, as i mentioned in this post (because i am lazy and too tired to copy/paste the evidence from there), these siblings do care for one another. they just go about it in the most hilarious and repressed and in-denial way (hilarious to me 😤)

when we meet them, it’s established that these two have known each other for some time. enough for them to bicker and have banter, you know, as you do with a Pendragon. also, should add, neither character are ever aware they are blood-related until s3 (because of some weak-ass bitch named Uther), so you have that very, uh, interesting subplot in s1 that everybody forgets about until you rewatch it. (honestly, I have so many questions. number 1: why???? number 2: it’s only in s1—was it scrapped??? is it like it never existed???? what was its purpose to the plot??? bbc explain yourself—)

however, despite how much it is shown that they do care for one another, they’re relationship in s1 is still undefined and vague as if they also don’t know how to accurately define what the other means to them. it’s very similar to the whole “i really love this person so much but is what i’m feeling platonic, familial, or romantic?” because….you know, guy and girl besties who are close are typically expected to grow romantic feelings for each other, so tbh i would not be surprised if both mistook their love as romantically inclined in the beginning bc, reminder, neither of them were aware they were siblings until much later.

[and this is ALL i am saying on this subplot. i do not want to cause any negative discourse, so if anyone has a few choice words about it, either keep it to yourself or feel free to talk about it with people you know. personally? not a fan of the ship and never will be, but i am not here to post about that.]

anyway, have some featured receipts showing Arthur and Morgana slipping up and showing how much they care for each other.

SEE!!!! LOOK AT HOW THE CARE!!!! SEE HOW THEY WORRY FOR THE OTHER AND WISH TO PROTECT THEM FROM HARM!!! (and see how even when they’re on opposite sides there is still that same love. just more warped and corrupted T^T)

^worried/protective Morgana

^Arthur’s face after Merlin informs him that there’s an intruder heading to Morgana’s chambers

Morgana is very aware of Arthur’s trusting nature. Arthur is very aware of Morgana’s empathy and righteous nature. they understand each other so well which is why Morgana knew just how to harm Arthur in later seasons and why Morgana’s betrayal hit Arthur so hard. it’s also why he never stopped trying to reach out to her in s4 & s5. as @merlinemrys said in this lovely post, the show’s driving force is love. love of all kinds. whatever conflict it is, love is there at the center of it all and, in Arthur and Morgana’s case, it does not save them (just like how love does not save Merlin or Arthur from what lies ahead, as the op of the post pointed out).

that is what makes their relationship/love be like a double edged sword!! that is why they are edges of the same blade!!! they protect and fight for what they believe in and for the people they love, but the same blades cut deep and twist their wounds into a lasting scar.

it is because of Arthur’s love for Morgana that he cannot help but hope and mourn the woman he once knew. it is because of Morgana’s love for Arthur that her feelings of hatred are so strong and ugly.

like honestly,

look at them T^T compared to before

their relationship is so tragic T^T because we knew them before it all went wrong. we knew they cared and understood each other. we knew that for some time, they only had each other to rely on for a friend, a crutch, a breather for when the royal life was too much. both of them were fighters and strive to honor their values. both of them had once leaned on the other for support, had wanted nothing but happiness for each other.

fuck, they didn’t even get the chance to really be siblings because they found out too late, and by then Morgana was on a war path and Arthur only found out at the last minute.

like fuck, man

two sides of the same blade: forged with love, yet used for blood

screencaps brought to you by me, @sourdough-morbread, and farfarawaysite

#i will spare you the gorey details of me trying to fine decent screencaps & screenshots for this fucking post or else i’ll get pissed again #(i am considering whether it is worth it to go to war with youtube)#special thanks to my bestie mor for being there for me at the gorey times and helping me find more screenshots #fucking love you bestie 💕💕💕💕#also only including s1-2 bc i am tired and they are the ones where we get pendragon siblings not trying to kill each other #forgive me for always bringing up uther and the pendragon sibs’ upbringing with him it will happen again #also after hours of rereading transcripts and rewatching clips of bbc merlin: it is so obvious that uther cared and treated Morgana like hi #own child more than Arthur. like jfc he let’s her get away with so much stuff he is way for gentle with his words towards her #when he realizes that he was too cruel or rude like bro…..where tf was that for arthur #it just adds to the complicated sibling dynamic because there is the added jealousy and resentment of knowing a parent loved another more #literally most of Morgana’s time with Uther was her at odds with him and yet he views her as his child more #well no ducking dur that Arthur ‘i-would-do-anything-to-receive-my-father’s-love-attention-and-pride’ Pendragon resents Morgana for #always being the one Uther goes easier on and finds ways to turn a blind eye for like wtf #also during my research i was reminded of how done dirty Gwen’s story was by bbc #loses her father to a king fearful of magic barely gets to mourn him bc she now has to keep up the smithy and her maid job; reunites #with her brother who’s been AWOL for some years and still they don’t get a moment to talk about their dad and mourn TOGETHER #her storyline is pushed aside by s4 bc now she’s fulfilling the role of Arthur’s love interest and oh yeah they still need to incorporate #the lanceot/guinevere scandal and then banish her for some episodes without even letting her brother be mad about it like ?????#anyway #continued saga of fluffy rereading transcripts -> uther: ‘it’s been a long time since Ygraine…since anyone’ me: ducking liar >:(#[sir leon begins the slow clap] king you dropped this 👑IT IS 1AM HELP 😂#place your bets on where my laziness for evidence came in! (I honestly don’t know lol scavenging evidence is all a blur)#spent 2 days on this post lol #me: ok i think that’s enough evidence for this argument…………ok maybe ONE more won’t hur—#me after day 2: ….am i done???? am i free????#pendragon siblings coming behind me with a steel chair: nah mate!#me: FUCK THERE’S MORE #bbc merlin #merlin meta #pendragon sibs

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lovable-bastard · 1 year

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Some ideas that anyone can use

(w/ credit, you can change whatever you want) (i also may or may not write them)

Merlin

How We Change and Not

Basically BBC's Merlin, but with the parent's. The whole plot follows the love/hate relationship of Balinor & Uther, the immediate friendship of Ygraine & Balinor, the mutual hatred between Hunith & Uther and the suprise love of Ygraine & Uther. Some quest's and adventures on the side like the original series. Angst, fluff, banter, all that good stuff.

Over the Year

On new years eve Arthur comes back, to the suprise of Merlin and Leon (Immortal Leon for the win❗). Over the course of 2023 the knights come back, in their own "very them" ways, learn about the new world and learn to live in peace.

I just want the knights to come back and live a normal peaceful life!!! Also Merthur, but it's a side-plot. Because I love some found-family and platonic love.

New Old

S5!Merlin time travels to the past and try's to make this reality better (I can and will ignore the possible danger of it and I know you will to), while S1!Merlin gets a new mentor (can I call S5!Merlin a mentor?) and S1!Arthur gets gay panic every five minutes.

Merthur, reveal done early, Arthur accepting magic on his own pace, Morgana and Mordred getting the support they need, what else could you want :D !!!

Don't have name for this one yet

Based on the ep where we find Mordred, but instead of Mordred going into hiding he finds Merlin first, who pretends to be his brother. Mordred grows up in Camelot and never turns evil (and so doesn't Morgana), Merlin and Morgana become like older siblings to him, Arthur gets jealous, because they look like a family.

Just a fix-it fic, that I need :')

Glowing Like Gold In My Dreams

Reincarnated!Arthur and Reincarnated!Merlin have dreams of their past life, but they see different parts of it. By that I mean, in life Arthur saw Merlin as a lovable idiot, so now Merlin will dream of the more light-hearted moments, while Merlin saw Arthur as strong, funny, confident and generous and now Arthur will dream of the Merlin that past Arthur never got to see, at least not that much. And they both make art of it. Arthur paints beautiful paintings of his dreams that are all about Merlin and show how amazing he is. Merlin makes music with his band (he plays the violin and piano) about the funny, confident, kind, sarcastic dumbass that he dreams of and fell for.

(sorry for the longer explanation 😅 I just really like this idea and sorry for the maybe shit explanation it's 3:51 (am) and don't worry they do meet)

A Bouquet of Hydrangea's, Yellow and Red Rose's

Arthur gets turned into his 12 year old self, meets Merlin, who showers him with endless love and attention. Needless to say Arthur is confused, but doesn't want this strange man to ever leave. Arthur starts to love Merlin as a father more then his own, he seeks out Merlins approvel more then Uthers, his love, time, affection. And Merlin gives it to him with no problem.

(this summary sucked) Basically Arthur gets turned into his 12 year old self and Merlin acts like a father to him. Arthur gets attached. Arthur learns how to trust and love freely again. Oh and Merlin doesn't mind being seen as a father figure, he's suprised at first, but gets used to it.

Harry Potter

Wtf Is a Weasley?

Just a short fic about harry having his father's eyes & mother's hair and of course being confused as a Weasley by everyone. Even the Weasley's themselves.

Harry Potter and the Fucked Up Wizarding World

Harry at the age of 5 gets safed from the Dursleys and taken in by the Wilson's.

Until the age of 17 everything was wonderful! He had loving parents, one sibling that was his age and a family dog! But one day he meets 3 people who tell Harry what he is. A wizard. Of course he doesn't believe it in the beginning, but they prove that magic is real (they cast a 1st year spell).

Now he has to somehow fix the magic world and not fuck up.

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purpleandstarlight · 9 months

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I am planning and somewhat writing a BBC Merlin rewrite where:

-Merlin and Arthur are both women. Merlin is a lesbian and Arthur (here named Arthelia) is bi. Merthur endgame even though it's slow burn af.

-Artheria is very much raised in a "manly" way bc Uther wanted a son but got a daughter and with his wife dead and no intention to remarry that's what he went with. She grew up having to prove herself to the men in her life (The knights, Uther himself) and WILL skin alive anyone who tries to say men are stronger than her just because she's a woman, but internalized misogyny exists because of how Uther raised her + the companies she keeps being usually men. She goes very "I'm not like other girls" at times, but she has character development for that too dw.

-Morgana is good cause I loved early serie Morgana. She's also a huge lesbian and spends some time being in love with Gwen (i ship them) but seeing as i LOVE SingleButHappy!Morgana and Lancelot and Gwen are cute together, Gwen is straight so they aren't endgame. Morgana doesn't stay unhappy for too long tho, and they stay very close best friends!!

-A lot of the early-serie flirting between the four main characters doesn't exist here. Morgana and Artheria are only siblings coded and there isn't anyone implying otherwise in court either. Merlin sees Gwen like a sister and so does she. Morgana and Merlin befriend eachother instantly when Merlin goes to deliver the sleeping potion, and bond over hating Artheria (and later on in the story also over being lesbians and having magic), but they never see eachother in a romantic way, even if Merlin does notice how attractive Morgana is very early on. Since we're on the topic, Artheria never crushes on Gwen either, because i don't really see much chemistry between them in canon tbh.

-Gwaine is bi. Flirting is a bit of a way to befriend others for him (and if he scores in the mean time, he's not complaining) plus Merlin is really nice and pretty, so he flirts with her once and immediately notices she's uncomfortable with it so he apologises and says he will stop, but the conversation leads to him coming out to her as being both into men and women, so she happily tells him she's gay too, and now that Merlin knows he knows and that he has no intention of having anything other than friendship, Merlin lets him flirt with her as their inside joke. It's funny to them. It's less funny to Arthelia who doesn't know Merlin's into women and therefore becomes jealous of any man trying anything with her lmao. Also even when Arthelia and Gwain become friends, he never flirts with her, even as a joke. That's just the relationship they have, no hate from Gwaine.

- I haven't really rewatched the serie in ages. Only funny moment compilations and crack videos. I am listening to a Merlin rewatch podcast thought, so I will just use the way they recap the episodes as my basis for each episode rewrite, and just write them my own way like i immagine them with my version of the characters.

-Arthelia and Merlin do share one (1) kiss kinda early on but they don't enter a relationship for a long time. Its based on that one time Gwen had to kiss Arthur to break a love spell? Expect it says "A kiss from a soulmate" Instead of "A kiss of your one true love" because a one shot i haven't read yet had this change and i felt like it was a good way to change the plot and give more romantic development even early on without putting them in a relationship in this series rewrite! Because the idea this gave me is:

Arthelia is about to do something stupid bc of the love spell, and Merlin is still trying to make her reason, but in vain. In a rush of panic to save her, her mind goes "Wait i could be a soulmate. We are destined and two sides of the same coin and blahblahblah!! It doesn't have to be romantic!" So she kisses her fully expecting it not to work but it does. Merlin is (pretends to be) unbothered by the kiss bc "It wasn't romantic!! It's just that we have a connected destiny!!!" and Arthelia doesn't remember the kiss clearly bc the memories of the time she was under the spell are hazy, but she does gain them back in her sleep sometimes. Especially the kiss - she keeps dreaming it, but just doesn't know if she should believe it and doesn't ask Merlin abt it.

-In the future, once Merlin and Morgana come out as sorceress to Arthelia, she works to make magic legal and then puts them in the position of Court Sorceress. They share the position so they can cut the work in half and Merlin can keep helping Gaius (+ When Arthelia goes out of the castle, Merlin can follow her to keep her safe without them worrying about leaving the castle without a Court Sorceress).

-Mordred is good. Merlin still is quite distrustful of him when they meet again once he's grown up because of what the dragon said, but she trusted Morgana not to do anything bad despite the dragon's words in the past, and Arthelia herself decides to trust him once Merlin warns her of what the dragon said, so she tries to be more chill and then finally warms up to him a bit more with time, though their interactions are still a bit awkward sometimes and Merlin never 100% leaves the matter completely out of her head.

#longpost #merlin #bbc merlin #merlin rewrite #bbc merlin rewrite #Please excuse any typos or wrong grammar. its almost 6 am and i didnt get a blink of sleep.#merthur

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botanicallyinclinednerd · 3 years

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For fun, lets say flower language was a thing during Merlin. Can you imagine the potential? Potential for fluffy romance and friendship through Arthur presenting Gwen with a flower bouquet of asters, red roses, and calla lilies (symbol of love, I love you, beauty). Or Gwen in the early seasons giving out flower bouquets to Merlin, Gaius, Morgana that have meanings of "affection" "treasured friendship" "thank you" "happiness" etc. The fluff is endless.

And then on the other side of the coin: the hijinks. The chaos. Can you imagine season 3 Morgana leaving flowers outside of Gaius's chambers for Merlin that include yellow carnations, tansy, belladonna, orange lilies, and begonia (distain, hostile thoughts/declaring war, silence, hate, and beware)? Because I sure can. The idea of her leaving them, knocking and lurking around the corner to sneer at Merlin when he retrieves them is actually pretty funny. Merlin's freaked out the first time but by the 8th day in a row of threatening flowers Merlin is just resigned and over it.

On a lighter but still chaotic note, the knights using it to be passive aggressive and mess with each other is halarious to me

Gwaine: *approaches Percival about to ask for a favor*

Percival: *silently shoves a striped carnation (no/refusal) into Gwaine's hand before getting up and walking away without a word*

Gwaine: I didn't even get to say anything!

(The idea of Percival pulling a silent treatment on Gwaine to mess with him and only talk to him using flower language is amusing)

Or Elyan approaching Leon after Leon has had a stressful week dealing with everyone's bullshit (especially the knights) and Elyan sheepishly handing Leon a bunch of Chamomile, goldenrod, and white poppy (patience in adversity, encouragement, consolation) with a small smile and Leon sighs and smiles back, thanking him. In another 30 minutes he's ready to start pulling his hair out again, but the respite of feeling appreciated was nice while it lasted.

Also in case of immortal Leon, hes definitely given sage often (healing, immortality)

The idea of someone leaving a bunch of ferns inside Gaius's chambers (without being noticed by Gaius or Merlin) and Merlin freaking out because "Gaius! Someone knows I have magic!" (Ferns mean magic, among other things) is pretty funny ngl. One of the knights is definitely to blame. Which one is up to interpretation, an argument could be made for any of them.

Gwaine absolutely goes ham with randomly handing out various flowers to the knights and Merlin (especially Merlin) with meanings of friendship, affection, devotion. He'll do it when they are out in the woods questing sometimes and it drives Leon nuts in particular because

Leon: where could you have possibly found a morning glory out here? I saw no such flowers around the camp

Gwaine: lol idk, around?

(It's totally not because of nature magic, noooo of course not, why would you even suggest that?)

Honestly I have so many thoughts about flower language in Merlin.

(Flowers can have multiple different meanings and it can differ from source to source what they mean and I am by no means an expert so if any of these are incorrect and you ARE a flower language expert, just let me know and I'll update accordingly)

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aftertheskyy · 3 years

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Merlin and Gwen having a pendragon spouse club hcs

I love this (also if you wanna see more Gwen and Merlin headcanons you can check them out here!)

We all know Merlin and Gwen are literal friendship goals

Early on, they talk about their crushes on Arthur and Morgana respectively

Gwen helps Merlin get ready for dates with Arthur and vice versa

(Merlin is able to style hair really well and helps Gwen with pretty braids and curls)

(Gwen makes sure Merlin’s shirt and scarf match and lends him Elyan’s tunics if he needs to dress for a nicer occasion)

Merlin is Gwen’s maid of honor at she and Morgana’s wedding

Gwen is there for every step of planning for the Merthur wedding

Both of them getting used being royalty

They’ve never had servants before-- they were always the ones to clean the rooms and finish the laundry

So it’s kinda weird being on the receiving end and they both instinctively tidy up after Arthur and Morgana by force of habit

Also

Musical abilities are lacking in the Pendragon line

So during birthday dinners, when everyone’s singing Happy Birthday, Gwen and Merlin glance at each other from across the room and try not to smile

It’s hard not to laugh sometimes

After an especially explosive arguments with Uther, Arthur and Morgana always need to talk things through and to be comforted

So Merlin and Gwen set up a small circle of chairs so they can have vent sessions

They also keep stashes of the Pendragons’ favorite foods around the castle for emergencies

Pickled eggs for Arthur, strawberries for Morgana

Merlin and Gwen being the best partners to Arthur and Morgana because they are absolute rays of sunshine who are tough as nails and so very full of love

#bbc merlin #merlin bbc #merlin emrys #merlin au #merlin headcanons #merthur headcanon #morgana x gwen #morgwen #guenievre #morgana #arthur pendragon #merlin x arthur #merlin #ask

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theonceandfutureking6481 · 3 years

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BBC's Merlin Season 1 Episode 3: The Mark of Nimue Analysis

*SPOILERS FOR THE WHOLE SHOW*

First off I always look fondly on this episode, mainly for Morgana being hilarious and epic, I mean she has the best line in the whole episode:

Arthur: You could get hurt

Morgana: So could you.... if you don't get out of my way

This episode is also fun and interesting from the perspectives of plot, characters and themes. Sorry, this is extremely long, I have a lot of opinions about Merlin.

Gwen and Merlin

This episode is in many ways about Gwen and Merlin's friendship, it is the driving force behind all of Merlin's actions within this episode and is the stepping stone for this show considering how to find a balance between acting for the greater good without suggesting that the ends justify the means.

Merlin and Gwen are first off just very sweet, their friendship is really characteristic of this show's representation of friendship overall, just genuine love and consideration for others. It is also self-sacrificing, that's one thing about the relationships in this show they are so self-sacrificing.

When Merlin says to Gwen "I didn't like to see you upset." It reveals a wonderful fact of Merlin's characterisation that I would argue stays consistent for the whole show. His motivation is always grounded in how much he cares for the people around him. He cares deeply about his friends and they are largely his reason for doing the things he does. This line is a wonderful parallel to in season 3 when Merlin decides to let Morgana die (after he accidentally trips her down the stairs), but then in the end he heals her because he couldn't watch everyone's grief. Merlin cannot separate his actions from the people he's doing them for, and he can't stand to see people hurt when he has the power to fix it because the people he loves are his motivation, they are the reason he wants a better world. This show does establish (as I'll discuss further down) that what seems immediately right (healing Gwen's father etc) isn't necessarily the right decision to make for the greater good. This is some ways always questions the validity of Merlin's motivations and his actions, but I'd argue it more seeks to find a balance. Besides a Merlin who didn't act motivated by his love for others is not a Merlin that could have helped Arthur build Camelot.

Medievalism: duty and social obligation

Quick disclaimer cause I'm touching on a more scholarly issue here that I have limited knowledge of, so I will undoubtedly make mistakes and this is my opinion. Everything I write is my opinion, but that's more obvious when I'm commenting on the themes of a fictional world rather than making a comment on actual fields of study which is what I'm doing here.

BBC's Merlin is an example of medievalism, it is an engagement with the medieval era (or ideas/images associated with it) for modern times. I honestly don't know that much about medievalism, or the medieval era, certainly not enough to make an extensive commentary on its representation in Merlin. One thing I would argue is that Merlin's representation of friendship has its roots in idealised views of the virtues of the medieval era. For many people the Middle Ages represents a time of duty and social obligation, this on one hand does lead to a stringent class divide but it also finds its idealisation in the sort of friendship represented by Merlin. The premise in most societies that place great value on social obligation is that the needs of the community outweigh the needs of the individual, that people should sacrifice themselves for the community as a whole. Every society places emphasis on this in different ways and to greater or lesser extents and our view of it as being prevalent in the medieval era is largely an idealisation based in some historical reality but also our own desires about what this era represents. There is a kind of social responsibility in the relationships in Merlin, there is a great emphasis on loyalty which is part of this idealisation. However, Merlin makes it more personal than is often depicted. We idealise social responsibility and obligation, it is often tied into the social roles of people such as loyalty to a king, or paying back debts of honour which is a form of social obligation. Merlin is more about friendship, it takes our idealisation of medieval social obligation and makes it the obligation and loyalty we owe to people who love us and who we love. I will always say that fundamentally Merlin as a show is about love, and it emphasises what we owe to people in our lives in a way I believe echoes idealisation of medieval loyalty.

This idea can also be seen in Arthur's fundamental trust of others, his fundamental assumption that everyone around him is not seeking to harm him, and that people are generally good. This ties a bit into the idea of social obligation. Arthur's idealised world is one in which people have bonds of social obligation towards each other, that people are seeking to act in the interests of the community. It's an idealisation, both of the medieval era but also an idealisation in Arthur's own head of the world he lives in.

Morgana and Gwen

Their relationship is somewhat expanded on in this episode, and they are just so sweet. Gwen gives Morgana flowers to cheer her up and its just lovely. They have a very genuine and close relationship. Morgana also has great respect for Gwen, for the work she does, and she treats her with respect.

Morgana: "If she was a sorceress, why would she kneel on the cold stone floor every morning if she could make these things happen with a snap of her fingers, like an idle king."

Aside from being one of Morgana's many quality burns towards Uther, this also illustrates one of her greatest characteristics, her empathy and genuine respect and admiration for what Gwen does everyday. She doesn't see the class divide in the same way Uther sees it or Arthur pretends to see it.

Also interesting note I heard in a Merlin podcast (I can't remember which episode), it could have been the episode about this episode. It's called Destiny and Chicken (you can listen to it on Spotify and anywhere else you find podcasts- they even did an interview of Bradley James who plays Arthur at one point), and its very good. But, they said something interesting about the paralleling between the relationship between Merlin and Arthur and the relationship between Morgana and Gwen. Both are fundamentally important and genuinely caring relationships for the character. However, for Morgana and Gwen (unlike Merlin and Arthur) the class divide remains much more in place, Gwen treats Morgana like her friend but she also treats her like her mistress in a way Merlin just doesn't with Arthur (especially not so early in the show when he's not so admiring of Arthur). This isn't to say their relationship is bad or has problems, its just different whilst still acting as a parallel. I'm not sure exactly the extent to which I agree or what this says overall in themes but its definitely interesting to think about.

Uther: "A Good and Terrible King."

This episode shows Uther at both his best and his worst which is always fun because Uther is a genuinely interesting character. I got the line from my favourite Merlin fanfiction Coronation by rageprufrock, which you should definitely read, I'll link it down the bottom, it's not too long so you can read it in half an hour. It's a character study of Arthur more than anything else and its amazing, wonderful and deeply poetic. Uther is not a huge part of this fanfic, its about Arthur's character and his relationship with Merlin and his kingdom, I'm not even sure he actually appears. This line though perfectly tapped into how I always felt about Uther so it connected:

"He's been a good and terrible father, a good and terrible king."

I often think in characterising Uther we do tend to villainise him to an extent which I personally don't find accurate. This is obviously just my opinion, and I have a tendency to think the best of people so more intensely negative views of Uther are very jarring for me. He did terrible things and I truly believe he is the ultimate villain of the show but he is very human and he could be a good king and he loved his children more than anything else. We cheapen Merlin's point if we cast Uther as pure evil, everyone is capable of evil just as much as goodness. Uther is the tragedy (like Morgana) of a person who could have been good or at least halfway decent corrupted and destroyed by his own hate and ignorance. That's the point of the parallels between Uther and Morgana, we love Morgana and she was capable of so much good, but she corrupted herself with hate.

Onto this episode, Uther shows both his capability and goodness as a king in this episode as well as his hatred and ignorance. Uther's initial reaction to the fact that the plague is caused by magic is a concern about his own authority, which isn't entirely unfounded, but does reveal a huge priority of his which is control. He fears not being able to control, that's were his cruelty as a father comes from and to some extent his opposition to magic. This does not show Uther in the best light, but his actions later in regards to dealing with the plague show a decent king who cares about his people. This scene in which he tells Arthur to shut off the lower town perfectly illustrates this:

Arthur: But what about the people who live there

Uther: Don't you think I haven't considered it? What else can I do? I have to protect the rest of the city

In this situation Uther is right, there is very little other choice, he's making a hard call but it's one he has to make, and he seems genuinely distressed at having to make it. He does care about his people's well being, and he feels the burden of their protection, he can be a good King. Much of Arthur's story is in breaking away from the legacy of Uther, and rightly so, but Uther also taught him many things and one of those things is the duty Arthur has towards his people, it's a duty he takes even more seriously than Uther, but nonetheless he learnt it from him.

This however, as I've hinted, is not the whole story of this episode, Uther is also shown at his worst, and his worst is his ignorance and prejudice towards magic. He is willing to sacrifice justice and even sacrifices logical thought to his blind persistence that magic is evil.

Arthur: She's right Father. You hear the word magic you no longer listen.

Uther: You saw it for yourself, she used enchantments.

Arthur: Yes, maybe. To save her dying father, that doesn't make her guilty of creating a plague. One's the act of kindness, of love, the other of evil. I don't believe evil's in this girl's heart

Aside from what this says about Arthur. Arthur's comment about Uther hits right to the point of things "you hear the word magic you no longer listen". You no longer listen implies its a choice, and it is. Uther has made the choice for the last 20 years to choose to go on a dogmatic campaign of hate against magic because its easier than considering the alternative, that he was complicit in his wife's death. What Uther says immediately after "there are dark forces threatening this kingdom." is the argument used by so many people throughout history, used to justify so much hate. That there is an evil out there threatening the stability of life, that the world must be controlled and people have to live a certain way or risk destroying their own lives. It's an argument that justifies campaigns of hate and makes them personal to ordinary people who usually wouldn't care, and it is always a lie, that's not how the world works.

This episode thus shows Uther at his best and his worst, both a dutiful king and a stubborn tyrant. It's a tragedy of what he could of been, and shows how twisted up people can become when they justify their decisions with hate and fear.

Arthur

This is the first episode where Arthur really opposes Uther, he directly questions Uther's indiscriminate hatred of magic, and an episode where he realises to an extent he perhaps hadn't before some of the ways in which Uther has failed as a king. He also consciously acts in deception of Uther, because he can see Uther can't see sense. Arthur shows far more nuance of view than Uther does, understanding (even whilst still accepting as he will for a long time that magic is dangerous and it corrupts) that using magic doesn't make you automatically evil. To see the world the way Uther does is a conscious choice, you have to choose to be blind to the virtues of every apparent magic user you come across, you have to believe harmless spells are the signs of greater evil. Arthur is not someone who lets his own cowardice blind himself to reality, and so his worldview can see far more nuance than Uther can.

"One's the act of kindness, of love, the other of evil. I don't believe evil's in this girl's heart."

He further has a very positive view of others, Arthur will always see the good in people and that is a great strength in my view. In a lot of versions of the story Arthur's not just inspiring because he's good but because he assumes others are good too, he trusts people to do the right thing and I do believe that, that can inspire people to do the right thing. It's funny in Merlin Arthur's trust gets betrayed so many times but it never really hardens his heart, he continues to trust people no matter how many times he gets betrayed. This can be seen in his perception of Guinevere here, he will not assume she is evil because she has made a mistake, he can see the virtue in her actions, and he will assume goodness until proven otherwise. Innocent until proven guilty, in other words. It's its own form of justice, a justice Uther is forgetting, its a tenant of many legal systems and its a tenant Arthur clearly supports.

Arthur is also seeing his role as the king of Camelot in creating a Camelot that he would like to live in.

"Yes I am yet to be king, and I don't know what type of king I will be. But I do have a sense of the type of Camelot I would wish to live in. It would be where the punishment fits the crime."

It's not the Camelot he would wish to rule, its the Camelot he would wish to live in. Arthur wants to live in a just world, he wants his people to be treated with justice just as he would like to be treated with justice. This further illustrates that unlike Uther he is not letting anger or ignorance blind him to reality, he wants the world he lives in to be fair without exception.

Finding the Balance between The Greater Good and The Immediate Good

The Greater Good is a tricky concept, you can justify any amount of cruelty if it will lead to good later on, but do the ends justify the means? It's not really a question its ever possible to provide a definitive answer for. It's easy to say that they don't, that you should just do the right thing, the nice thing, the good thing in the moment but actions have consequences and doing the good thing all the time (especially in a position where thousands of lives depend on you) is not usually possible. Merlin tackles this theme, I believe, quite well, trying to find a balance between acting for the greater good and acting with what is immediately good, and this episode is a good example.

In a just and fair world you would be able to do good all the time, but this is not the case for everything, though you should never use the worlds not fair as an argument for not doing good things but I digress. Merlin's decision to save Gwen's father ultimately backfires on Gwen because the world is not fair, the world Uther has created mean even these acts of love are punishable with death. Because, for Uther, magic is magic, and magic is evil. Gaius was, in this situation, ultimately right, Merlin can't always do what is easy and what feels right because the consequences may not be good. In other matters like closing off the lower town, Arthur's initial response is concern for the people who live their, but Uther's right he has to make this one tough decision because otherwise he risks the whole city.

However, Uther's attitude to Gwen (aside from revealing his own stubbornness and prejudice) is an example of the greater good taken too far. He has absolutely no evidence that killing Gwen will stop this plague, but he's making that sacrifice anyway because it might, that is not justice or fair or anything resembling goodness. And he justifies his decisions with what I've already said is an age old argument- "These decisions must be made. There are dark forces threatening this kingdom." This is just another version of any easy choice, acting without regard to the greater good is an easy choice but so is ignoring what is immediately right in pursuit of some ambiguous goodness. He's confusing his own weakness and ignorance for strength.

The point Merlin is, I believe trying to make is that there must be a balance. Sometimes you have to pursue the greater good, but the ends don't really justify the means.

There is a reason Arthur and Merlin will create the Camelot of legend and Uther and Gaius don't, Merlin and Arthur aren't going to sacrifice their own goodness for the sake of the greater good. Merlin for one ensures Arthur never has to, its sad but Merlin in many ways makes the harsh and cruel decisions that Arthur never has to make. However, he also often doesn't make those decisions. He reaches a point where he wants to let people die, but he never actively attempts to kill Morgana or Mordred by himself unless it is an absolute in the moment choice between them and Arthur, and even though there is plenty of moral ambiguity about that and plenty of debates you can have about that. Fundamentally the point remains, Uther would have killed them and that's why he could never be the king Arthur would be or the influence for decency Merlin would be, the ends don't ever entirely justify the means. Besides if Merlin had thought that and killed Mordred and Morgana for their possible futures he would not have been the decent person he was and he could not have helped Arthur build a good Camelot, Camelot would not have existed if Merlin had acted entirely with the greater good in mind to ensure Camelot's future.

Other Stuff

Gwen's scene in the cell is so terribly sad, she's trying to be brave and her final request to Merlin is just so sad, "Remember me." She's so young and its the injustice and cruelty of Uther's kingdom that's condemning her, his own blindness to anything involving magic. We all want to be remembered don't we, especially when you die so young that you've barely had the chance to live. -----Also Guinevere will be remembered, she is a legend so there's something very bittersweet in this. She is not forgotten, then or ever

It's funny watching back to season 1, Merlin spends a lot of the time complaining about how Arthur will never recognise him for who he is. He wants recognition. But by the end of the show, yes of course he'd like recognition but he's learnt to just put up with never getting it. His priorities have changed so much.

There's this thing that happens a lot in season 1 and 2 (and I think a bit in season 3 but its less funny then) where Morgana persuades Arthur to do things by insulting him and its the funniest thing ever, and the first instance of it is here. I like to call these her 'epic sibling powers' cause they are just such siblings and its hilarious every time

"You are one side of the coin, Arthur is the other."- Kilgaharrah--> Just, yes.

Also when Arthur gets Merlin out of when Merlin confesses to being a sorcerer—> he's obviously making stuff up on the spot—> like he might sort of believe it (the stuff about Gwen) but fundamentally he's just trying to protect him without really knowing for sure why Merlin's lying

"One day people won't believe what an idiot you were."- Gaius--> Fun little nod to the audience who know Merlin of legend (as nothing like the BBC Merlin)

Also at this point we don't know why Uther really banned magic so there is an element of moral greyness to it all. We know magic's not evil, we know Uther went too far but at this point there is still a question about 'how too far' did he go?

Coronation by Rageprufrock (seriously read it. It's amazing): https://archiveofourown.org/works/5749

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troublesometrollhunters · 3 years

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~ Douxie is a lowly street urchin. He's the lowest class you can get and he's barely considered a person none the less a commoner. He has no place being near the castle or being offered by the Merlin to learn magic at the side of Morgana. He doesn't fit into the world of Nobility surrounding Camelot or the Royal Court. And yet as Merlin puts his hand on the young boys shoulder leading him to the castle as he holds a sleeping Archie close, Douxies never felt more at home.

~ When Douxie meets you it's love at first sight. You just looked so healthy and clean and kind. Almost angelic. With rosy cheeks and a bright smile he couldn't help but stare at you as your mom talked to Merlin about something. You were in the most beautiful clothes he'd ever seen and your hair was recently brushed and done. He swallows trying to find his words but you don't seem to mind as you fill the silence with your sweet voice. Archie stirs in his arms and as you leave with your mom waving a goodbye Archie gives him a knowing look as Merlin smacks his head.

~ "Absolutely not Hisirdoux." Merlin is firm on that point. Douxie is allowed many freedoms now that he lives in the castle but there are also many new rules. One of them is that he apprentally is not to talk with the Nobel he met his first day as Merlins apprentice. Or any Nobles he meets unless he is with Merlin and they address him first. His rank may be higher now that he is Merlins apprentice but it will never be high enough to truly intrest someone of your stature or decorum. At least that's what Merlin tells him.

~ So of course he may not be able to "talk" to you but Archie can. So the ten year old Douxie comes up with a plan! While he's working besides Merlin he sends Archie off too learn more about you. The familiar seeing Douxies interest in you is quit keen on gaining knowledge for his young master. So the cat sneaks off to ask you some questions.

~ Your alone in your room studying when he finds you. You're reading and when he appears your eager to pet him. I mean he is a small fluffy cat. However when he speaks you seem hesitant to talk back at first, afraid that a fae is tricking you or you might get cursed. But a talking cat is so exciting and he seems very well mannered so you end up answering all his questions in exhange for some of your own. When Archie comes back that night Douxie learns everything about you Archie had learned. Apprentally you're the child of a Dutchess or perhaps a distant cousin of King Arthur but whoever you are Archie confirms you're way out of Douxies league. That in no way stops them however.

~ Merlin said Douxie is not to court you. But he isn't intrested in marriage (yet) he only wants your hand in friendship. After all your his age and you live in the castle and you seem super nice. He may be a middle class mage but he does live in the castle which means little Douxie often has free riegn of it. He's worried about guards spotting him near your room so he sends Archie too you with questions he has. Sometimes he's brave and he'll catch glimpses of you throughout the castle. He always gets a dopey smile on his face after he's seen you.

~ One day as he sits at his desk looking at the window waiting for Archie to come and tell him more about you he gets a surprise. His face lights up seeing his familiar and he notices something in the cats mouth. Archie smiles as he hands over a letter.

'Hisirdoux I've heard a lot about you from your familiar. Archie says you should give him more treats for his troubles and I agree he's a good cat who often visits me when I am lonely.

My name is (Y/N) and although we haven't formally met and talked alone I remember you. Merlins apprentice learning magic! That must be so exciting! Much better than my dull tasks in the court! I am always with escort or guard or parent otherwise I assure you we would've met and talked again. I often catch you in the corner of my eye and it always bring a smile to my face. You seem very kind and many of my friends sadly are not. So I have come up with a plan. For now I can not meet you in person but someday soon I will find a way.

Until then lets write letters. It'll be an adventure.

- Love (Y/N)

~ Archie doesn't mind being a messanger. He finds your friendship with Doxuie endearing and soon comes to care for you as much as the boy. Douxie immediately gets excited at the idea of writing you a letter and responds as soon as he finsihes reading yours.

~ Dear (Y/N),

Merlin said I'm not supposed to talk to you but he never said I couldn't write too you! You're brilliant for thinking of this and I don't listen to everything he says anyways. Merlin is a great teacher and I am grateful to him but he is also a hard enforcer. Learning magic under him is difficult and I do a lot more cleaning than actual magic.

But that's okay! I enjoy working under him. What must your life be like I wonder? A Royal in the Court? What do you do? What are you Royal duties? I mostly mop, sweep, and write endless hours of boring homework nothing exciting like this!

P.S I gave Archie lots of pets and treats just like you asked!

- Your friend Hisirdoux Casperan

~ Soon starts a game of back and forth. Every night or every other night you write letters to him and he writes back. You exchange smiles in the hall and nod at each other in passing. It's the biggest secret either of you have ever had and sometimes it takes everything not to giggle at the sight of each other. You may not be able to hang out properly but as you begin to get to know each other more intimately Hisirdoux takes more risks too see you and you in turn do the same.

~ A year goes by and Douxie starts adding in small things to your letters. He loves giving you little gifts and trying to catch a reaction in the hallway, as dangerous as it might be, he loves seeing your smile whenever you receive something. Pressed flowers, poetry he read in old books, and knick nacks he found in town being some of his favorites to give you. In turn you give him sweets, books you like to read, small sketches, interesting facts from your studies, pretty crystals, and anything else you think he'll enjoy.

~ As teenager's Archie had been your letterman for years. Acting as a middle ground since it was almost impossible to meet alone. You and Hisirdoux had become closer despite not being able to meet in person much and as you both were given more freedom as you got older you found ways to meet and talk, Archie acting as a look out as you snuck moments alone.

~ You both find out the castle has secret passages throughout the walls when your about 13. Douxie and you are now able to meet in secret and have free reign of the castle at night when everyone is asleep. Some nights you both sneak into the kitchens stealing tarts and other sweets, other nights you spend in the library reading together into the early hours of the morning, and other nights are spent wandering the castle learning all it's secrets. Sometimes you even sneak to the roof or observatory and stare out at the stars talking about your dreams and what you wish to be and do.

~ As he becomes better at music he finds himself sitting beneath your rooms balcony or practicing outside your room so you can hear his music. You only encourage his craft and your encouragement makes his heart soar. He loves singing silly ballads to you and has even snuck in some romantic lyrics.

~ He loves showing off his magic. He's so proud of his craft and he's proud of how your eyes light up when you watch him do a spell. He enjoys watching your reactions as he casts his latest mark and often does spells he probably shouldn't to try and impress you. His favorite trick is summoning a flower and tucking it behind your ear. Your blush is always so pretty as he places it for you.

~ He sneaks into your library or places you go throughout the day to leave you things to find. Pressed flowers became a common occurrence in your books, or bits of a song he'd wrote slip into your school notes. Sometimes drawings and other small assorted things will appear through out the day as you do your duties as well. Unknown to Casperan you keep everything he gives you in a box under your bed in your room. All the letters he's written to you are safely tucked away in a large hollow book you made.

~ It becomes easier for him to sneak into your room or you to sneak into his as you get older. There are secret tunnels in the castle walls you use to meet up.

~ As you grow older you know your hand will soon be given to some other Nobel family but you dream of a life with Douxie. One where you could be yourself and you could live a life of love, magic, and adventure. He made you happy and although it wasn't practical you often daydreamed of running away together or becoming a mage yourself just so you could marry him.

~ One night when Archie goes to check up on you and say goodnight he runs back to Hisirdoux worried. Apprentally the ball of furr had heard you crying and ran back to tell young Casperan. He of course ran to your room doing his best not to be seen. You were waiting for Archie to come say goodnight but you'd fallen asleep and then woken from a terrible nightmare. Your door opens and looking up you sniffle and stare at Casperan with scared eyes. He lays next to you and you lean against him closing your eyes and taking in his comfort. Holding you close he uses his magic to play you a song staying with you until you drift asleep.

~ You're both more than friends. You both know it but neither of you have admitted it. The Royal Court would never allow you to love each other. You could never be married officially and eventually you'd be forced into a loveless life with someone else. However tension is rising in Camelot and things are changing. Magic may soon be banned and with it Douxies passion. You're idea to run away becomes more and more appealing as the world around you slowly dissolves into choas.

~ One night while everyone was asleep you sneak into his room. Shaking him awake you put a finger to your mouth and drag the sleepy boy to the stables. Under the moonlight you both ride out of Camelot to spend one night together. One night where you can just be who you both are. You explain your plan. What you should do and although Douxie does not want to leave he agrees it's unsafe.

~ You pack. You know you can't take much but you've arranged for a carriage with two horses so you and Douxie can at least start with something. All your jewellery and valuables along with pouches full of gold, silver, and copper from the Royal Treasury are put into a large satchel you hide under your bed. You pack a few of your least fancy dresses and steal pants from the stable boy. All of your favorite books, drawing supplies, and poems are shoved into a different satchel. You hide the hollow book of letters and all the gifts Hisirdoux wrote you in the stable and you prepare to leave.

~ Packing the carriage late at night under the stars Douxie and Archie meet you. Douxie has a satchel full of potions, a purse full of magic scrolls and books no one will miss, the letters you wrote him, and his lute. He also grabbed dried meat from the kitchen, biscuits, and canteens of water.

"Love are you sure?" He's so tender so soft and so full of love. You know this is meant to be.

"Without you Douxie life is not worth living. You love me not for my riches. Not for looks. Not for my status but for me. No matter what happens I love you."

~ That's all Douxie needs to hear before he takes the reigns and you both leave. Fleeing your life from Camelot and going on a new adventure. One of adventure, magic, and love. You know things will never be the same but that's alright. You have him, he has you, and you both had Archie. As you flee under the stars avoiding trolls and traveling several towns over you know this is meant to be.

(Comments and feedback appreciated :D)

#hisirdoux casperan #hisirdoux x reader #douxie x reader #wizards x reader #noble reader #morgana #merlin #archie #hello!#i read way too much douxie fanfiction #so heres the boy #i love him #fair warning still havent seen wizards 😬😬😬#hope this is good!#cannon divergent #in which douxie finds someone he loves and leaves Camelot before everything goes to hell #douxie #long post

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rainbowvamp · 3 years

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No Body, No Crime (Mercelot)

It's 4am and some of us don't know how sleep schedules work! Here's your angst fill for Mini @mercelotweek. Sorry in advance :)

Warnings! Death of Major Characters. Merthur, but Arthur is Evil. No Happy Ending. Check AO3 for more extensive warnings.

Summary: Merlin was the love of Lancelot's life. He could stand watching him marry someone else if it meant Merlin was happy. He could not stand watching that man get away with murdering him.

Angst, Morgana&Lancelot team up that canon adherent people won't like maybe?, unrequited love, pining, one-sided Merlin/Lancelot, except I head canon that it's not

----

“Lancelot, have I ever told you that your eyes are so warm?” Merlin asked, stroking a hand over Lancelot’s cheek. Merlin is so clearly drunk, but Lancelot still feels his face warm beneath the soft touch. He knows that Merlin doesn’t, couldn’t, mean that the way he thought, not with how head over heels he was with Arthur Pendragon, but… it still made his heart skip a beat when Merlin talked about him like that.

When he doesn’t answer Merlin just keeps tracing the lines of Lancelot’s face. Lancelot knows he should stop him, when he runs his fingers over Lancelot’s softly parted lips, but he doesn’t. Let’s Merlin’s hands stroke down his neck, shoulders, and chest, so obviously taking in his muscle tone.

“You’r beefier than Arthur. Did you know that? Not by a lot, not like Percival is, but… so much muscle.” He squeezes Lancelot’s bicep, and Lancelot swallows hard.

—

“You’re beefier than Arthur. Did you know that? Not by a lot, not like Percival is, but… so much muscle.” He squeezes Lancelot’s bicep, and Lancelot swallows hard.

—

Lancelot’s been waiting for Merlin for a little over ten minutes. Merlin tends to be a bit scatter brained at the best of times, so Lancelot isn’t particularly worried, but when Merlin walks in, looking flustered, Lancelot is immediately on guard.

Merlin pulls his chair out almost violently and is just barely politely to the waiter, obviously holding back a sort of curt near-anger that Lancelot didn’t see often. He ordered a glass of wine, their usual white, and only when the waiter was gone did he finally look at Lancelot.

“What’s wrong?” Lancelot asked him, and Merlin’s blue eyes were fiery, angry in earnest now.

“The sheets smelled like perfume.” Merlin speaks through gritted teeth, and Lancelot is at a loss.

“I don’t understand.”

“The sheets. Our sheets. Smell like perfume. I don’t wear perfume, and neither does Arthur.” He glared and just barely managed to be courteous when that waiter brought him his glass. Their Tuesday dinner was a tradition, and the waiter seemed to sense something was wrong because he brought the bottle and left it on ice at the table.

It took Lancelot a few second to process that, before he finally, stupidly said, “Oh.”

“Yeah, oh.” Merlin took a sip of his wine that was more like a gulp, but Lancelot didn’t say anything about it. “I can’t prove it. I don’t know who it is, but I just know he’s sleeping with someone else. And in our bed.” Merlin was seething, and Lancelot couldn’t blame him. He’d been pining after his dear friend for years, and if Lancelot had Merlin he’d never dream of anyone else, let alone bring them into his bed.

“You’re sure there’s no chance it’s your soap? Maybe he switched colognes?” He doesn’t believe this, but he hopes, because he loves Merlin, that Arthur wouldn’t betray him like this.

“I checked the entire bathroom. Nothing. Not the detergent, not his soap, nothing.” Merlin downed the rest of his glass in one swallow and when he reached for the bottle, Lancelot put his hand over Merlin’s.

“Maybe let’s wait until we have some food, yeah?”

Merlin glared. “My husband is cheating on me. If there’s ever been a time to get fucked up on wine, it’s today.”

“Yes, and you have every right to do that, but let’s get you fed first, so you don’t overdo it.” He guided Merlin’s hand back down the table and left his own on top of it for longer than he probably should have before releasing it. Merlin was still glaring, but Lancelot knew it wasn’t him Merlin was upset with. He’d just have to deal with it. His friend needed him.

“I’m going to catch him. I’m going to make him admit what he’s doing. The damn cad. Bloody prat. Fucking wanker.” Merlin is just muttering insults to himself now, and if the situation weren’t so tragic, Lancelot would probably have laughed at the absurdity of suck language coming from Merlin of all people.

“Is there anything I can do right now? You can stay with me tonight, if you don’t want to go back.” Lancelot offered, but before he was even finished speaking, Merlin was shaking his head.

“No, it’s fine. I need to confront him, and if anyone should leave, it should be him. I’m not the faithless one, and I won’t be chased from my own home.”

Lancelot nodded and when their food came, he didn’t protest the overfull glass of wine Merlin served himself before giving Lancelot a regular serving.

—

“Merlin, you should probably go to bed. Everyone else is asleep.”

It was Merlin’s Bachelor Party. A guys weekend away. They’d done a pub crawl in London of all places, and now they were all shacked up in a couple hotel rooms (on Arthur’s dime, so they were very nice room).

“You’re not asleep.”

“I’m also not drunk off my arse.” He smiled. After the decision had been made to call a car so Lancelot could drink, he’d had a few, but he wasn’t nearly as gone as everyone else had been. “Come on, let’s get you to bed.” And damn if he wasn’t kicking himself for phrasing it like that.

“Lancelot Du Lac, I’m engaged.” Merlin tries to feign offense, but he starts giggling too hard for it to be effective. Lancelot rolls his eyes even as his ears burn and he lifts Merlin up under one arm so that he get him off the bed long enough to pull the bed covers back and pour Merlin in.

“You used to be fun.” Merlin complained, and Lancelot laughed earnestly.

“No, I didn’t. You’ve just gotten more irresponsible.”

Merlin frowned but soon became distracted by the soft texture of the sheets. “Stay with me. I don’t like to sleep alone anymore.”

“I am staying with you. We already put Gwaine and Elyan in the other room.”

“No, I mean here.” He slapped the side of the bed beside him.

Lancelot was tempted, but ultimately shook his head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Merlin.”

“Because you love me?”

Lancelot’s breath catches. The casual way Merlin says it almost drives Lancelot off the deep end. Years of secret keeping about to be toppled by a drunken night when Merlin was already engaged.

“You don’t have to say anything. I know you want it to be shecret. Shecret. See-cret.” He smiled when he finally managed to get his tongue to cooperate with him, then turned that beaming grin up to Lancelot. “I promise I love you too.”

“I-I- I need some air.”

He hears Merlin call after him as he leaves the room, but he ignores it. He can’t look at him, right then. He can’t see those blue eyes and those soft lips and pretend that he hasn’t just had his heart forcibly exposed. He can’t. He can’t. He can’t.

—

The next Tuesday, Merlin was nowhere to be found. He’d called, texted, done everything short of showing up at his house. When Merlin was a half hour late, too long even for Merlin’s scattered head, he got up from the table without eating, left more money than was needed to cover the water he’d been nursing, and went to look for Merlin.

He drove by Merlin’s work first, thinking maybe he’d gotten lost in a project except his car wasn’t there. He went inside, just in case.

Mithian, the very competent front desk worker that Lancelot suspected did more than work the front desk, smiled up at him.

“Lancelot! Are you looking for Merlin?” Her smile was just the tiniest bit tight.

“Yes. He’s not here, is he?” Lancelot feels his heart get heavy, suddenly. His chest is tight in a way it hasn’t been since his parent’s car wreck years ago. He swallows hard as Mithian speaks.

“No. No one’s been able to get ahold of him today. We called his husband, but he didn’t answer either.” Mithian has a distraught look on her face that even her usual calm demeanor can’t hide. It’s the same way Lancelot feels

“I’ll see if I can track him down. Thank you.”

“Let me know if you hear anything, please.”

“Yes, of course.” He nodded and left, making a mental list of places to visit.

—

“Lancelot!” Merlin scrambles out of bed far too early for someone as hung over as he must be. “I was worried. You didn’t come back. Why didn’t you come back?” Merlin looks him over like he might have managed to get into some trouble on his own for a few hours, and Lancelot shook his head.

“I needed to time to think. I’m alright. I’m sorry I worried you.”

“Sorry? Sorry? I put my foot in my mouth while drunk and your response is to apologize?” Merlin looks exasperated, and it makes one of Lancelot’s lips quirk up a bit.

“Sorry. Should I apologize for your foot instead.”

Merlin groaned and leaned his head against Lancelot’s shoulder. “You scared the shit out of me. I thought I’d fucked up our friendship.” Merlin’s hands wrapped around Lancelot’s waist in a hug, and Lancelot returned it easily.

“Nothing could ruin our friendship. Just… Please don’t ever do that again.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not, but I promise not to… be so blasé in the future.”

“Thank you.”

—

He drives by Merlin and Arthur’s house first, but their car isn’t there. He gets out and knocks on the door anyway, just in case. He has a key for emergencies, and he decides that this is an emergency. He lets himself in and goes straight to Merlin and Arthur’s bedroom.

He’s never been in here before, and the way that everything is clean and tidy feels wrong for Merlin. The Merlin Lancelot knows has always been messy, and chaotic. When they’d been roommates years ago, Merlin had never been able to keep his room any nicer than slightly unkempt, but the place is spotless. It looks wrong.

He knows he shouldn’t, but he goes through Merlin’s bedside drawer, looking for clues to where he might be. He tries not to think about the full bottle of lubricant he finds there, looks over the pads of paper, half written lists, books with dog-eared pages. This looked much more like Merlin.

As he’s sifting through pages, a half sheet, ripped along one edge, catches his eye.

Perfume

“Working Late”

Jewelry charge

Lipstick stains

5 months no sex

Lancelot shoved the list into his pocket on a whim and closed the drawer. Merlin had been talking about confronting Arthur. Maybe he had. Maybe…

Lancelot had never cared much for Arthur, but Lancelot could admit that even for Arthur, that would be too far. Lancelot leaves the house without disturbing anything else. Maybe Merlin and Arthur reconciled and went for a whirlwind trip to Fiji or something else ridiculous. Lancelot wouldn’t actually be surprised if they had. Merlin was impulsive like that and Arthur had money.

—

Arthur calls him later that night. Asks with the calmest tone that Lancelot has ever heard if Merlin had been by his place, or met him for dinner. Lancelot says no, and Arthur hangs up without even a pass at formalities.

—

Lancelot drives by Arthur and Merlin’s house. He means to stop, ask after Merlin, except…

Arthur’s car is missing. In it’s place is a sleek new white sports car. Nothing like the practical car that Merlin had insisted on.

Lancelot drives straight by, and doesn’t stop.

—

He hears from Gwaine that Arthur has a new girlfriend on a pub night of all nights. A woman who’s moving into the house with him. It’s been less than a month since Merlin disappeared, and Arthur had a new woman on his arm already? Lancelot and Gwaine had never been overly close, friends by virtue of knowing Merlin and being cared for deeply by Merlin, but even Gwaine seemed to pick up on Lancelot’s stormy mood.

“Don’t do anything stupid, mate. He’s not worth it. I know how much you cared for him.”

“Everyone cared for Merlin.” It’s a curt, snappish tone, so unlike Lancelot’s usual soft demeanor.

“Not like you did.” Gwaine takes a sip of his beer and calls the bartender back over, ending their conversation.

—

“And do you, Arthur Pendragon, Take Merlin Emrys to be your lawfully wedded husband?” Arthur’s tie is a bright red that compliments the blue of Merlin’s well. Lancelot can’t see Merlin, because he’s standing right behind him, in the position of the best man, but he can see Arthur, who looks… Well Lancelot is sure he’s in love, but if that were him, Lancelot would probably be on the verge of tears.

He reminds himself that everyone is different, and he tries not to judge Arthur on his wedding day. This is the man that makes Merlin happy, the man Merlin loves, and so Lancelot just has to accept that.

“I do.”

“And do you, Merlin Emrys, take Arthur Pendragon to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“I do.” Merlin’s voice is a little thick, and Lancelot knows that means he’s holding back tears. Lancelot is holding back tears of his own, clenching his jaw to try and force his face to stay neutral. Over Arthur’s shoulder he catches Morgana’s eyes, and she looks at him in a way Lancelot doesn’t understand.

“Then by the power invested in me, I pronounce you married. You may kiss your groom.”

Lancelot looks away when Merlin surges forward to kiss Arthur, and Elyan, one of the other groomsmen, squeezes his shoulder. Lancelot doesn’t know if it’s sympathy or some strange gesture of happiness, but Lancelot uses it to ground himself while he waits for Arthur and Merlin to pull away from each other.

—

Lancelot sees Arthur and the woman as he’s taken to internally calling her later that night at the same pub. He’s sitting with Percival, nursing a glass of wine Merlin would’ve liked when he spots them. The woman is hanging on his arm, looking completely smitten, and Arthur looks like the cat who got the cream.

Percival caught the storm clouds in Lancelot’s eyes and followed his gaze before whispering “shit,” and rubbing his temples. “I think that’s Elyan’s sister.”

“I don’t care who she is. Arthur’s a bastard.” Lancelot grit his teeth and Percival reached across the table to put a hand on Lancelot’s elbow and hold him steady.

“Let’s not lose our heads. We can go if you want.”

Lancelot kept his gaze firmly fixed on them, still angry right down to his very core, but eventually, Percival squeezed his arm and broke his stare, making Lancelot snap out of it.

“I think that would be best.” He murmured, quiet in his rage to keep it from bursting form him.

“I’ll get the tab, go flag a cab.”

Lancelot nodded and left out the back so he wouldn’t have to walk by them.

—

“Morgana, I’m going to do something stupid.”

Morgana was in a black night dress, with her hair pulled back into a French braid, obviously getting ready for bed. “Well, hello to you too, Lancelot. What do I owe the pleasure of your company?”

“Can I come in?” He asked, not rising to the bait, and that seemed to get her attention because she simply stepped away from the door and let him in.

She walks into her small kitchen and pulls a bottle of wine from the fridge. She gestures at him with it and he shakes his head, but she still pulls a glass down for herself and fills it.

“What the problem? Does it have anything to do with a certain blonde airhead who I’d personally like to strangle?”

Lancelot tensed a bit in his chair. “Why do you want to strangle him?”

Her tone was too cool when she spoke, swirling the deep red wine in the glass in a way that was disconcerting. “He killed my brother, Lancelot. The fact I haven’t put a blade to his throat myself is only because I’ve got a child who’s very eager to come home with me. You can’t adopt with a murder charge.” Her face looks so sweet when she says it, but Lancelot can see the mirror of his own rage in her.

“You and Merlin were always quite close.”

“Closer than I ever was to Arthur. Blood only runs so deep. There’s a lot to be said for the connection of like-souls.” She smiled at took a seat at the table, made more dramatic by the flowing motion of her skirts. “So, what’s the stupid thing you’re planning on doing?”

Lancelot smiles half-heartedly. “If I tell you, you have to promise not to go to the police.”

Morgana’s smile turned evil. “Oh, do tell.”

—

They stay up half the night, and Lancelot calls himself an Uber home from hers, to establish a paper trail, as she puts it. The plan they’ve hatched is only half baked at best, but they had time to revise, make it even better.

They would avenge Merlin.

—

Merlin and Arthur have only been on holiday for three days when Morgana shows up at his flat with a bottle of wine, more food than any one person could possibly eat, and a sour expression.

“I hate that they’re so damn happy. It’s disgusting.” Morgana said, collapsing onto his couch.

The two of them had grown closer once Merlin and Arthur got engaged. Merlin was always talking about her, Arthur’s half sister who he almost liked better than Arthur, actually, too bad be wasn’t straight because if so…

“We’re supposed to be happy for them. They’re in love.” Lancelot said, but he took the bottle from her and broke the twist seal without being asked.

“Well, if my Arthur wasn’t such a cad, maybe I would be, but I know him. This is… I don’t know what it is, but it’s temporary, and Merlin doesn’t know that. It’s going to break his heart.”

“They did get married. Maybe it’s not.” Lancelot tried to stomp on the little part of himself that hoped it was temporary. He wouldn’t wish heartbreak on Merlin, even if it would give him a chance to be with the man of his dreams.

“You haven’t known Arthur as long as I have. It never bothered me before that he was like this, but I like Merlin. He’s probably one of my favorite people.” She huffed and took the glass Lancelot offered her, filled with wine.

“Mine too.” He sighed and sat down on the couch beside her.

“I’m sorry. This isn’t fair. I know you’re… well, everyone knows that. I’m sorry.”

“If Arthur makes him happy, that’s what I want for him.” Lancelot took a deep drink from his wine glass.

“You keep telling yourself that, Lancelot.” She sighed and laid her head on his shoulder, picking up the remote and putting on trash television.

—

“Lancelot, have you seen Arthur? I’m sorry to call, I know you’re not fond of him after everything, but… he didn’t come home last night.” Gwen calls him frantically about three weeks later. He’s sitting at the dock with Morgana, one hand draped over her shoulders. They were expecting the call soon, so they were spending as much time together as possible.

“I haven’t seen him. Hold on, I’m with Morgana.” He pulls the phone slightly away from his ear and makes a show of informing her of the news like her ear hadn’t been practically pressed to his phone as well. “Mor, did you hear from Arthur at all last night?” He tries not to smile to himself, but Morgana doesn’t even try to hide it.

“No, I haven’t. We haven’t spoken in a few weeks, actually. I don’t really want anything to do with him.”

“He’s missing.” He says softly enough that Gwen could still hear it. Putting on a show of being concerned was actually a part of their plan.

“Serves him right. Not like he looked very hard for my brother when he went missing. He’s probably drunk in an alley somewhere.”

“Mor, come on.” He sighed and put his ear back to the phone. “Gwen, do you need any help? We can be down there in a bit. Have you talked to the police yet?”

“No. I was hoping someone had heard from him. I was going to call Morgana next. Will you just call Percival and Gwaine and them? I don’t think they like me very much.”

“Gwaine likes you plenty, and Percival is just shy. Don’t worry about it. I’ll call them. You getting his work friends?”

“Yeah. Thank you, Lancelot. I appreciate this so much.”

“Anything, Gwen.”

When he hangs up, he and Morgana grin wildly at each other, triumphant that their plan is going to work.

—

Gwaine tells Merlin that Lancelot and Morgana are sleeping together and Lancelot never corrects him. It’s not wrong, necessarily, it’s just not what Merlin thinks it is. Morgana is aromantic. Lancelot is in love with Merlin. It’s just sex. But Merlin has these fanciful ideas about he and Arthur getting to be best men at Lancelot and Morgana’s wedding, that he immediately takes back because “of course it’s too soon to talk like that, but can you imagine?”

No. He couldn’t. He couldn’t imagine standing at an alter with Merlin behind him, instead of in front of him, but he just nodded, had a sip of his wine, and said nothing.

The rumor circulates through their entire friend group, eventually. He and Morgana do spend a lot of time together, for two people who aren’t dating but are sleeping together. A part of Lancelot wants to break it off, but the small smile on Merlin’s face every time he mentions his and Morgana’s relationship keeps him from doing it.

They feel like partners in this giant conspiracy to hate Merlin’s marriage, and their connection is the only thing that keeps him sane. Well, that and the very mandatory Tuesday dinners he and Merlin always have, no matter what.

—

Watching poor Gwen get carted off in handcuffs probably isn’t supposed to satisfy Lancelot, but it does, just a little bit. He doesn’t even feel guilty, because Prison is a better fate than Arthur or Merlin had.

She looks at him with this howling anger that Lancelot pretends not to understand. She has suspected him since a couple weeks into the investigation of Arthur’s death. How convenient that he’d managed to let it slip to the police that Gwen had taken out life insurance on Arthur. How convenient that the only person who could corroborate his testimony was Arthur’s sister, who had always hated her. How convenient that Arthur had disappeared on a night where he was supposed to have plans with her but canceled for some unknown reason that couldn’t be corroborated or exonerate her.

Yes. How very convenient.

#minimercelotweek2021 #day 3: angst #mercelot #merlance #merlin x lancelot #merlin/lancelot #lancelot&morgana

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justalittleobsessed · 3 years

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Merlin Characters Getting Stressed

Merlin: Things at work are amazing. I used to hate it here, but now that my personal life is in shambles and the source of crushing amounts of stress, I love it here! I get here early, I stay here late, sometimes I even fall asleep at Arthur’s desk because I can’t stand the thought of going home and being alone with my thoughts!

Arthur: Things are so rough right now. I could really us a... you know what I’m trying to say. That thing where where you put your arms like this *makes hugging motion* except someone is right here *points at hugging spot*

Lancelot: To make sure I never go through this much stress again, I am making a detailed plan for my future. First thing on the plan: think of things to put on the plan.

Gwaine: Ugh... why do I have to deal with all this tedious crap now? Sure, I’ve been neglecting it and letting it come to a boil over the past five years, but c’mon! Really!

Leon: Uh... okay people. I thought we had a plan going into this but clearly we are not following the plan. Which is fine. I can roll with it. Who needs a plan? Not this guy! But it would have been nice for me to plan on there not being a plan before I came here planning on there being a plan!

Elyan: Time for me to organize my life! *two hours later* Time for me to burn down my life and start from scratch again!

Percival: *internally* Crap. My friend asked me to pick up some sweets for him. If I get him some that are creamy, will he think it’s because I don’t think he can handle the crunchy? But what if he actually can’t handle it and I get him the crunchy? How can I even ask him such a question at this point? If I was a good friend, I should just know what kind of sweets he likes! Our whole friendship could be ruined by this one mistake.

Gwen: *yelling* Oh, you think I’m stressed? NO! I’m not stressed. Why would you think of something so stupid? Just because I’m not my usual nice, bubbly self? Well guess what? That version of me is a chump. That version of me is dead.

Morgana: Okay, time to go out and get some drinks with my “friends” and act like a “normal person”.

Gaius: I know the stress is getting to me because my lacrimal glands are starting to leak.

Uther: Calm the fuck down?! Calm the fuck down?! I am calm. Look at me! I’m fucking calm!

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panharmonium · 4 years

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@once-and-future-gay asked:

how do you think will would react to how merlin treats mordred were he alive??

Okay, I LOVE this question.

And my honest answer to it is that I think if Will were alive, things would never have gotten to a point where Merlin felt like he needed to treat Mordred like that in the first place.

(more details under the cut, because this got long!)

The reasons why Merlin ends up in a place where he is able to make those kinds of cold decisions about Mordred are obviously super complex. But in the end, I think most of it comes back to the fact that by Season 5, Merlin has come to see himself as a tool. The ultimate fallout of Merlin being constantly told about his role in Arthur's life is that he comes to see himself as an instrument of destiny, not a person in his own right. His life isn't his own. He has no inherent worth, no inherent self, just a purpose to fulfill. His life was always earmarked for someone else. His value, in his own mind, is inextricably tied up with whether or not he can succeed in his mission. He doesn’t think he is allowed to have more than that. He doesn’t think he deserves to have more than that, frankly - every time he tries, something terrible happens.

This isn’t the case, earlier in the show. In the early days, Merlin still has hopes and dreams for himself. He still longs for a day where he can be known for who and what he is. He still chafes at having to hide. He still thinks he deserves better than what he has. He's still invested in his own life, as a person who is worth something just by virtue of existing. But as time goes on, those feelings start to slip away. He's still fighting, but for other people, not himself. He stops asking Gaius, "When do I get to reveal myself?" He doesn't expect that to ever happen now. He starts defining his worth as how well he can fulfill his “destiny,” and stops seeing himself as a person in his own right. He's been told so many times that his life belongs to someone else - that his only reason for living is to serve a higher purpose - that he now believes it. And that makes him more willing to do things (in service of that destiny) that he would have balked at when he was younger, before he lost his sense of selfhood, before he became just a tool to ensure that events unfolded as they were “supposed” to.

In the earlier seasons, we see Merlin defy Kilgharrah's directives on multiple occasions. He saves Mordred. He forces Kilgharrah to teach him how to heal Morgana, even after she's been revealed to be a traitor. He's not yet willing to do things he feels uncomfortable about to bring about “destiny.” He still thinks things can be better than that. But as time goes on (read: after Will dies, and especially once Lancelot is also dead) Merlin becomes so isolated from anything that isn’t The Mission. He has no “real” friends anymore. Which, as I've discussed before, isn't to say that he doesn't have meaningful, caring relationships with other people, just that every one of those relationships is, for him, undergirded by the knowledge that the friendship is conditional - aka, “if they actually knew me, they would hate me.” He has nobody to meet his most elemental need for connection - to be seen and loved for who he is - and by the later seasons, Merlin has been deprived of that kind of care for so long that he just stops trying to find it anywhere anymore. Every time he has had somebody to love him like that, it has gone horribly, terribly wrong, and by the time we reach S5, Merlin just feels like it's better for everyone if he stops feeling these "selfish" desires for real companionship and just focuses on the job he's meant to do, no matter how painful it is for him. It doesn't matter if he's miserable, as long as he's be able to bring about the better world that has been promised.

Lancelot is able to serve as a buffer against this, briefly, while he’s alive. His presence is a huge part of why Merlin is so happy in the S4 opener. Finally, Merlin has a friend to know him, to share his burdens, and everything is changing for the better. Arthur is basically running the kingdom, and it's only a matter of time before he actually becomes king. Traditions are already changing, by Arthur's command - now Camelot's most respected knights are commoners! The Crown Prince is publicly courting a servant! This is a moment where Merlin really feels that the moment he has been waiting for is right around the corner. He thinks they're almost there. He has so much hope, at the beginning of Season 4.

And then Lancelot dies - for Arthur - and everything starts spiraling. Lancelot dies on the altar of Merlin's destiny the same way Will does, and that breaks something in Merlin. He stops trying to make things better for himself. “Destiny” is going to take everything from him anyway. He gives up and accepts that the only worthwhile thing he can actually do with his life is to make sure that Arthur lives to create the better world that has been promised, and that he himself is always going to be alone.

And then Merlin is alone, for the next three years. And that's who he is when we meet him in S5 - disillusioned, desperately isolated, all of his personal needs subsumed for far too long. The only thing keeping him afloat is his mission, and he will do anything to make sure it succeeds, now, because if he starts doubting it, then that means that everything terrible that has happened has been for nothing.

And this is really why I feel that having Will around would change things, to a degree where I honestly can't imagine we'd ever wind up in a position where Merlin would have been self-abnegating like this for years, or would have allowed Kara's execution or told Arthur to reject magic just to ensure that Mordred would die (TO BE CLEAR - I'm not putting the blame on Merlin for what Arthur decides to do in 5.05. Arthur's a grown man; he's seen enough to have more nuanced opinions on sorcery by now).

Will is just....I know he was only in the show briefly, but his presence in Merlin's life was so much more important than that one episode, and his ABSENCE is more disastrous than is made apparent on the surface of things. Will is Merlin’s anchor. He gives Merlin something that Merlin cannot access from anybody else, Lancelot included. He is the only person in Merlin’s orbit who is not somehow connected/beholden to Arthur and Camelot. All of Merlin's other friends become knights, or become queen, or are deeply invested in Merlin's destiny and the emergence of Albion (eg, Gaius). Every single relationship Merlin has is with people who are committed to Arthur and Camelot in the same way that Merlin himself is. He has nobody to tell him “this is wrong; you're sacrificing too much,” because everyone he knows is on the same page as him. All of his companions are sworn to die for the realm. Will is the only person whose existence reminds Merlin “you mattered BEFORE you went to Camelot and got this magical homework assignment from the gods. You were just as much of a person back then.”

Will is the only friend Merlin has who links him back to his original self, who connects him to who he was before destiny buried its hooks into him. Merlin in S5 has been so alone and so put upon for so long that he believes his only purpose in life is to be an implement of destiny, but Will, if he were alive, would throw a fit every time Merlin started saying things like “his life is worth a hundred of mine” or “I was born to serve [Arthur].” Merlin might think he's a tool and that his life doesn't matter outside of its ability to usher in the new world, but Will wouldn’t tolerate that attitude. Will would tell him you are NOT a tool; you are a person, one who likes to read and whose favorite fruit is apples and who gets the hiccups when he eats too fast. You don't have to do everything somebody tells you to just because they told you to do it. That's the kind of wrong-headed thinking that got my father killed.

Will would never let Merlin arrive at a spot where Merlin felt like his life and his principles were disposable or worthless in comparison to the success of the “mission.” And Will would never let Merlin get away with doing questionable things in the name of keeping Arthur alive, either. Will, in canon, is the person who serves as Merlin's moral compass - in 1.10, Will is the one who's telling Merlin “it is WRONG for you to consider letting all of these people die in order to keep your secret safe.” Even Merlin's own mother won't tell him that - when she realizes that Merlin is planning to use his magic to help during the battle, she tells him not to do it, despite the fact that there is literally no way the village can defeat Kanen without Merlin's help. She advocates for Merlin to protect his own secrets, even at the expense of other people's lives.

Will, though. Will refuses to compromise. Will wants Merlin to be safe, too, but not at the expense of what makes Merlin who he is. Will KNOWS that sacrificing others for the sake of his secret isn't what Merlin really wants to do. Will knows Merlin is better than that. He tells Merlin to smarten up. He tells Merlin to do the right thing.

So like - having Will alive would change things for the following two reasons: 1) Will, in canon, is the person who tells Merlin “you deserve better than this,” and 2) Will, in canon, is also the person who tells Merlin “you ARE better than this. you can do better than this.” I don’t think Merlin would have made the same choices with Mordred if Will had been present for the previous five seasons, because Merlin would never have fallen so far into the “i don’t remember who i used to be and i can only see one purpose for my life now” hole. Will would not have let him get to that place.

Possibly more importantly - I honestly think if Will were alive, we might never have ended up in a position where Merlin had to make choices like that about Mordred in the first place. Will living would change the entire story. Now Arthur doesn’t just get to sweep the whole “oh man an Evil Sorcerer died/almost died saving my life; that really challenges my worldview; hope I don't have to think about it too hard” issue under the rug, like he does in canon. He’d have to be confronted with that continuously, every day. And he would not be able to just project his anti-sorcery beliefs onto Merlin like he does in canon, either - he would know that Merlin's best friend is a sorcerer, and that Merlin continues to stand by said sorcerer even after the sorcery itself has been revealed.

In canon, Arthur and Merlin avoid this topic forever, and I think Arthur honestly tries to forget it ever happened, because it's easier for him and makes him less uncomfortable, but if Will had lived, they would have been forced to deal with that friction every day, and Arthur would have been constantly confronted by the cognitive dissonance of “sorcery is supposedly evil, but how can it be, when this guy so obviously is not?”

Will being alive would mean Arthur had to confront his prejudices sooner, because a) I fully believe alive!Will would have eventually followed Merlin anywhere, even to Camelot, and b) once he was there, Will would absolutely have kept up the pretense of being a sorcerer. He would never have allowed Merlin to be endangered by him abandoning the ruse. So Arthur would have had to deal with that, and honestly, I’m not sure Camelot’s policies on magic wouldn’t have already changed by the time Mordred showed up again, in this timeline.

There’s one other thing that I want to be clear about when it comes to any question that deals with Merlin’s interactions with Mordred (or many of Merlin’s late-season decisions, to be honest).

The way Merlin ends up dealing with Mordred is obviously something that we all are watching the screen being like "IF YOU WOULD JUST BE NICER TO HIM EVERYTHING WOULD BE OKAY." Even before I finished Season 5, I typed up my thoughts/worries/predictions, and I said that I was concerned Merlin's behavior was going to be the thing that ultimately created the exact future with Mordred that he was trying to prevent. We all know it's a messed up situation.

But I also personally find it absolutely imperative to recognize the unique situation Merlin is in, and that Merlin doesn't react this way to Mordred just for the hell of it, or even because he wants to.

This is something I want to make sure I address, because when talking about the potential for alive!Will to have changed Merlin’s behavior, it’s too easy for the discussion to be framed like “Will would be able to stop Merlin from doing all those stupid/irrational things, like mistrusting Mordred,” and it’s also VERY easy for the discussion to slide into, “Everything that happens at the end of BBC Merlin happens because Merlin was so consumed by how much he cared for Arthur that he was willing to sacrifice everything to keep Arthur alive (and perhaps Will could have snapped him out of it).” But I want to be very careful not to give either of those impressions.

There are two things that I am dead set on remembering when I think about any and all of the decisions Merlin makes, including his decisions about Mordred: first, that Merlin does not suspect/reject Mordred (or support/protect Arthur) in a vacuum. And second, that he doesn't do either of these things solely on Kilgharrah's advice, either.

Merlin, on a personal level, does not want to be in conflict with Mordred. He still relates to Mordred as kin, even at the beginning of the Disir (“It won’t always be like this. One day we will live in freedom again.”) He LIKES Mordred, even, he tells Gaius. But when he says so, he expresses it like this: “I like him myself - but I can't ignore what I saw.”

To get into this in a little more detail - why does Merlin struggle with Mordred in the first place? Because he's been shown that Mordred is going to be instrumental in Arthur's death. And why is Merlin fixated on preventing Arthur's death? Because Merlin has been told, by multiple magical and/or godly powers, that Arthur is the key to establishing peace in Albion and returning magic to the land.

This is a non-negotiable point for me when I read things about Merlin's decision-making. I've written plenty myself about the messed-up place Merlin gets into in S5, where keeping Arthur alive at all costs has overridden every other aspect of his better judgment, but it is ESSENTIAL to me that we recognize that this is not something that happens solely because Merlin has a personal attachment to Arthur. He does care deeply about Arthur, obviously; he loves him - but that is NOT why Merlin in S5 is slipping into the murky waters of “save Arthur no matter what, even if it means doing things that go against my conscience.” His decision in the Disir - any decision he makes about Mordred, quite frankly - is not made because of a selfish, personal desire to keep Arthur alive. It is made because Merlin has been told, repeatedly, from all corners of the magical world, that keeping Arthur alive is the only way to establish peace in the world and liberate magic. And thus, by the time S5 rolls around, Merlin will do anything to achieve this, even things that seem on the surface to be working against these goals. He does not make his decisions because he is choosing Arthur OVER his people's liberation, but because he has been told that choosing Arthur IS the way to his people's liberation.

Merlin does not develop his obsessive fixation on keeping Arthur alive because his personal attachment to Arthur becomes so strong that he's willing to just let the rest of the world burn. He develops it because he has been told that Arthur is the key to creating a world where all people can be free. And it is ESSENTIAL to recognize that Merlin is not foolish for believing this, either. He isn't just listening to some random dragon spout nonsense at him. He has literal gods speaking to him, calling him by the name the Druids gave him and telling him his “time among men is not yet over”; he still has work to do. Druid prophets show him the future (Mordred killing Arthur) and urge him to “alter the never-ending circle of [Arthur's] fate.” Alator recognizes the legend Gaius speaks of as true and immediately offers Merlin his support. Bendrui like Finna (aka the remnants of Morgana's own sect, the High Priestesses) offer Merlin the assistance of further prophecies and tell him “without you, Emrys, Arthur cannot build the world we all long for.” The Catha pass on “ancient knowledge” about Arthur's fate that they've guarded for hundreds of years, in the hopes that it will help Merlin save Arthur’s life. The Fisher King recognizes Merlin as Emrys and tells him “I have been waiting all these years for the arrival of a new time: the time of the Once and Future King” - and then he gives Merlin the means to enable Arthur's victory in the S3 finale.

It's not just Kilgharrah telling Merlin about Arthur's destiny. It's the wider magical world - and bits of the divine world, too. Merlin is not stupid, gullible, or deluded to believe that Arthur's role in the prophesied future is true. It IS supposed to be true, in the Merlin BBC-verse. (And, once again, this is why the finale is, narratively speaking, garbage. But that's a topic for another day.)

All of that said - the fact that Merlin has legitimate reasons to believe what he believes and fight for Arthur's survival does not mean that every single sacrifice he makes in the name of achieving that goal is necessarily the only way he could go about things, and that, I think, is where Will being alive would have made a difference. Will, who loves Merlin more than life itself but does not care about Arthur or Camelot at all, would be a counterbalance to all the messaging Merlin receives about “destiny and Arthur over everything.” Will would have pulled Merlin back from the brink, with his stubbornly honest, “All right, so you have to do this, but not like this. Listen to yourself. This isn't you. This isn't the you I know.”

I don’t think anyone else could have done that for Merlin. Even at the very end of the show, after Merlin has been in Camelot for years, Will is still the longest-running relationship Merlin has ever had (excepting his mother, of course). Will is the only relationship Merlin has that both predates Camelot and isn’t even slightly concerned with Arthur Pendragon’s well-being. Will is the only one who isn’t beholden to Arthur or sworn to serve Camelot. Will is the only person who cares about Merlin instead of Arthur, not along with Arthur. Merlin has other people who love him, yes, definitely, but Will is the only one who says, “You, over everything else. You are the only thing on the map for me.”

The part Will played in Merlin’s life is not something that could be performed by somebody else. That loss is a hole that cannot be filled, even by other people who know Merlin’s secret. The history is unique. Merlin can’t just grow up again with someone else. Will was irreplaceable; the role he fulfilled in Merlin’s world was singular. Without his influence, Merlin is perpetually off-kilter.

Merlin needed someone like that in his life. He needed somebody to balance out the perpetual focus on Arthur+Destiny, which all of his other relationships encouraged, to varying degrees. The perpetual focus on Arthur+Destiny is what ultimately led Merlin to make the kind of decisions that he made with Mordred, but if Will had been around to push back on that, then I can’t imagine that things would have unfolded in the same way.

#very long answer for a short question i know #you can see why this would not fit in the message box #XD #thank you so much for asking; i enjoyed writing this up!#replies #meta #the once and future slowburn #no kings no masters #merlin S5

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oohlook-thevoid · 4 years

Text

Ranking Rating the Merlin ships

I’m bored and procrastinating doing more productive things plus I was already doing this in my head so I guess I’ll share and you can all tell me how wrong I am or whatever,,, jk please don't. Also to note these may not be all ships, they’re just ones I have seen on past perusals of ao3 or on here basically.

Merthur

7/10 - this is like the main ship of the fandom and I get it, y’know they almost died for each other several times and so on but like, canonically, it really is not the best ship. Like, we’ve got to admit these two did not have the healthiest relationship - Merlin was basically obsessed with saving Arthur because of the prophecy and did so at the expense of helping magic eventually and then Arthur was just kind of a dick sometimes because he’s emotionally repressed and all that. But I mean it does still have a lot going for it, mainly the mass of great fics that make it all a bit more even and healthier, so it gets a 7.

Arwen

7/10 - even though this is one of the only canon ships, I feel it’s a bit underappreciated in a way because of the merthur love out there. Anyway, arwen is an equally good ship and Arthur and Gwen were just really cute together; when I was watching s5 most of the scenes they were in (Edit: I’ve just remembered I specifically mean the scene when they’re de-mind-controlling Gwen at that lake cauldron thing or whatever, they were very cute there), I was just like they’re a really good couple, they work. I mean there are certainly downfalls which is largely the writing and treatment of Gwen in those later seasons but overall they really were a good couple who deserve better.

Merlance

9999999999/10 - PERFECTION. Like, Lancelot knew about Merlin’s magic and still cared about him greatly and this was the one relationship in which Merlin could be entirely honest and himself and Lancelot was just so so good about it. And also when Lancelot said “I look at you and wonder about myself, would I ever knowingly give my life for something.” and Merlin said “You have to have a reason. Something you care about. Something that’s more important than anything.” and then Lancelot sacrificed himself being the only one who knew Merlin was going to thus giving his life for Merlin. Just these were two amazing dudes who deserved better and by better I mean each other because they were in love your honour.

Merwaine

10/10 - I mean come on first of all “help a friend” “Arthur’s lucky to have us” “not Arthur” like, Merlin understand that this beautiful chaotic man loves you. Like it is undeniable that Gwaine is brought into this all because of the fact he cares about Merlin, like that’s what brings him into all this. In fact it’s so undeniable that even when I’m reading merthur fics there’s a magic reveal and Arthur’s all like “begone foul demon” waving his sword about all threatening like whilst Gwaine is there like “wow I don’t give a shit because it’s Merlin and I love him end of discussion”. And sometimes it’s even like Arthur attacks Merlin and Gwaine stops him which like,,,,,, it is very clear that we can all see Gwaine is a fucking perfect man for Merlin and someone just needs to tell the dipstick warlock this so they can date.

Perelyan

5/10 - tbh this could probably be higher but my awareness of Percival and Elyan is shamefully minimal. Like I’ve seen the show, they were there but I can’t say I remember that much. Still, from what I do recall, they seem to have a good friendship going on so y’know if they ended up in a relationship I wouldn’t be opposed. Could be nice.

Perelyaine

6/10 - basically same as above but Gwaine’s here too now so I have to give an extra point.

Perwaine

6/10 - I mean the scene in Diamond of the Day where Morgana’s torturing Gwaine and he screams and then Percival just fucking hulks out from where he’s tied up and breaks free to get to Gwaine like,,,,, get you a man who can do that.

Mergana

0/10 - Morgana is a lesbian. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

Merdred

-2/10 - I just simply do not vibe with this ship in the slightest. I mean firstly there’s the matter of Merlin just hating Mordred (wrongfully so imo but still). And then just, Merlin was like basically adult and Mordred was small child the first time they met so like I just can’t say I vibe with it. Mordred is the child of the group and he shouldn’t be dating anyone, that’s it basically.

Freylin

6/10 - I can almost guarantee they’d score higher if someone had been allowed to live longer but alas the writer’s ain’t shit. They are the peak of deserved better though.

Morgwen

9/10 - ah recall the earlier seasons when these two where just in love and everything was incredible. “Something to cheer you up, I know you’re not sleeping well” “You cheer me up.” That’s love bitch. Anyway these two could have had it all as shown by every early season interaction the had but no once again the writers had to fuck it up. So anyway thanks to them a point has had to be deducted off of perfection because it isn’t cool to torture and brainwash Gwen in the dark tower Morgana (also because of that stupid queen jealousy shit where Morgana was like Gwen can’t be on the throne like can it girl we know you you used to want to share that throne with her).

Gwencelot

5/10 - I think what they had was sweet but I also think that, at the end of the day, they both at other people out there who they work better with than with each other. Still, I love them both and if they wanted to be happy together then I’m rooting for them.

Mergwen

3/10 - but only if we’re talking romantically. Platonically their friendship is like ∞/10. They deserved more screen-time together in later seasons but regardless earlier seasons tell us that their friendship is unmatched and I can live with that.

Merlin x Gwen x Arthur

8/10 - I don’t know the actual ship name for this but I know I’ve see it somewhere. Anyway, fuck love triangles, polyamory saves lives. (this sentiment can also go for any other love triangle or even love square on this show that you can think of)

Leon x anyone

-7/10 - yes, this isn’t a real specific ship. yes, I’m aware of that fact. But I had to say, given I’ve seen various ships with Leon, that overall no. Leon is long-suffering and tired of everyone’s bullshit. If Leon is going to date someone, it will be someone nice and sensible who he deserves and who doesn’t add to the chaos going on around him.

On that note, I’m done, you’re welcome.

#merthur #arwen #merlance #merwaine #perelyan #perelyaine #perwaine #mergana #merdred #freylin #morgwen #gwencelot #mergwen #merlin bbc

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yellowmagicalgirl · 3 years

Note

Trollhunter Mary Au

If you were in the THCC in early April 2019, then you will recognize this AU.

Optional theme song of the AU

Claire first fell for Mary when they were in sixth grade. She's never said anything, because by the time she figured out it was a crush, Mary was already very boy-crazy. Claire's tried to make said crush go away, and it has, but never fully. By the time Mary finds the amulet, Claire is crushing on Jim, but that crush on Mary is still in the background. Because Jim doesn’t get the amulet, he never gains the confidence boost he needs to talk to and woo Claire, and her feelings for him fade.

Mary tells Darci about the amulet, but doesn't get the chance to tell Claire until Strickler spies Mary awkwardly walking around in full armor. She claims she's going to be trying out for the play, and when she gets there she realizes something: none of the female roles would work with armor, and the only male role she knows is that of Romeo.

Claire, of course, has been practicing at being Juliet for weeks, and when she realizes that Mary is trying out as Romeo, it's a bit of a dream come true as well as her old crush coming back in full force. After all, Mary had considered playing the part of the Nurse, but she knows Claire is trying out for Juliet, and would that mean she wants to kiss Claire?

Naturally, she's a bit sad when Mary and Darci reveal that no, this is magic armor and they had to keep the cover, sorry, they were going to tell her sooner if they could, but Claire hides her sadness behind the giant troll chasing them and the fact that Trollmarket is beautiful.

Outside of trollhunting and the play, Claire begins to distance herself from Mary. Not from Darci, though. History will call her Darci the Diplomatic, and this is where those legends start.

Mary doesn’t use the Grit-Shaka. After all, it’s just kissing, something you do as a contractual thing with guys or the person you were cast opposite of in a play. Claire is tempted to. It’s kissing her best friend, the crush she’ll never get away from. But she doesn’t. After all, it’s just stage kissing, nothing meaningful. Nothing like what Claire wants even though it’d ruin the friendship if she tried.

NotEnrique knocks down the photo of Claire, and the goblins go after her. Mary tries to save her, only to find that her amulet was stolen. And so the two of them fight the goblins with makeshift weapons. Mary decides to finally confront Claire about how weird she’s being. “Look, I get it, you’re stressed about Enrique and the play. We’ll get him back, and yeah, sorry for making things weird. I’ve gotta keep my cover as the trollhunter,” Mary says, looking for any goblins. “And yeah, I know you don’t want to pretend to like me romantically and -” “Pretend?” Claire asks. She puts a hand on her chest, tears in her eyes. “I’ve been in love with you for a third of my life!” She turns away, unable to look at her friend after admitting the secret she's kept for the past five years. “I’m just tired of always getting my hopes up.”

The two of them are quiet when Darci and AAARRGGHH!!! find them, Mary from shock and Claire from shame.

The play goes off well, though the two leads seem a bit stilted.

Mary has a lot to think about afterwards. She throws herself into trollhunting, but not even that blocks out her thoughts about the idea of a life where she were to date Claire.

In this AU, the Akiridions land early. Darci ends up befriending Shannon and Aja because she wants a sense of normalcy when her two best friends are being weird (neither will mention Claire’s crush). Normalcy is not something she gets. This leads to the Akiridion-troll secrets coming out early. (Note: Aside from Clairy, the next major ship would be either Shanaja, Daraja, or Shandaraja. No matter what, it would contain a lot less drama than our two favorite theater sapphics.)

Alone in the Darklands, Mary is forced to finally confront those thoughts. A life with Claire seems nice, as opposed to the contractual feelings Mary gets whenever she thinks of a future husband. And yet, the idea of living a life with Claire, or any girl, seems terrifying, while a future husband is at least security. But could Mary ever have security as the trollhunter?

In her heartbreak over accidentally pushing away the girl she loves, Claire accidentally turns to Morgana.

Darci frees Mary from the Darklands. Claire can’t bring herself to be happy. She wants to be happy. Mary is back, and so is Enrique. And yet, a darkness grips her heart.

Darci is the one who finds out how to find Merlin, as well as an alternative way to defeat Gunmar. It helps that she has Akiridion allies.

By the time Mary is able to get over herself and confess her feelings to Claire, Mary has a troll form and Claire has become Morgana’s champion.

Send me a potential AU and I’ll tell you a minimum of five fun facts (anon is off)

#claire nuñez #clairy #mary wang #trollhunter!mary #darci scott #trollhunters #clairegana #shannon longhannon #aja tarron #shanaja #daraja #shandaraja #troll!mary #tales of arcadia #my au's #answered ask #anonymous

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nattikay · 4 years

Text

Do you miss it?

Based on a prompt by @nb-demon in which Jim is “fixed” via a stone that allows him to shift forms like a changeling....except uh probably not exactly what you had in mind because hoo boy do I stand by the idea that troll!Jim does not need to be “fixed” whoop ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Ao3 link

Jim turned the smooth stone over in his hand. It shimmered lightly in a way not unlike the sheen of the blue stone in his amulet. The amulet that had changed his life forever when it called out his name nearly forty years ago.

“I’ve been…researching transformation magic,” Douxie the wizard had told him when he presented the stone. “Because of the way Merlin’s potion worked, it can never be truly reversed…but this should allow you to take a human appearance at your leisure. Like a changeling without the need for a familiar. In case…in case you miss it.”

“O-oh,” Jim had stammered as he accepted the gift, pocketing it gently. Whatever he had been expecting, it wasn’t this. “T…thanks. That’s…really thoughtful of you.”

Douxie nodded. “I thought it was only fair. It took a long time to develop, but…I figured you should have the chance to choose the form in which you live without the threat of evil breathing down you neck. Let me know if you have any problems.”

And with that he simply left, off to take care of whatever business wizards do. Jim, too, had duties to tend to, and for the next few hours left the stone in the back of his pocket and mind.

That had been this morning. Now Jim was sitting alone in his home, perched on the lip of his bathtub as he carefully examined the magical stone.

Did he miss being human? He wasn’t sure. Sure, there were days—the particularly tough days that trollhunting lent itself to—when he yearned for the nostalgic days of his human childhood, racing bikes with Toby and eating dinner with his mom. But those days were so far behind him. So much had changed. He had changed—and not just in the obvious ‘I’m partially a different species’ way. He’d grown up, made new memories and experiences.

Jim glanced up into the mirror across the floor, studying his face. His features were a bit more mature—jaw stronger, shoulders broader, scruff thicker—but despite fast-approaching his 53rd birthday, he looked remarkably similar to how he had the day he defeated Gunmar. He supposed his troll half was responsible for that. Trolls, after all, generally lived for many centuries. He hadn’t asked many ages, but he knew that Blinky, at least, was over 600. Whether he would make it as long as a full-fledged troll, only time would tell—but it certainly seemed he’d outlive most humans.

Claire, too, no longer looked her age. When she began officially training in sorcery she had gained a wizard’s longevity. Though she certainly appeared more mature than the teenager she’d been when she first began to dabble in the magical world, no one would guess just by looking at her that she was really in her early 50s. In fact, when they were alone together, a part of Jim almost genuinely forgot their true ages.

Of the original trio, only Toby showed the true passage of time. He’d kept remarkably upbeat and positive as his ginger-brown hair grayed and his face wrinkled, but while their friendship remained true, Jim knew that this gap would continue to widen until one day it would reach a length he could not cross.

Jim’s brows furrowed. His heart ached to think of loosing his lifelong best friend to human age when he, as a half-troll, still had so much life left to live.

He glanced back down at the smooth stone in his hands. Did he miss being human?

Had he been presented with this opportunity before, he would have leaped at it. He had made the choice to go half-troll—with the imminent threat of Gunmar and Morgana, it had felt necessary. And, indeed, the improved strength, speed, and stamina he gained from it certainly helped win the battle.

But once the battle had been won? Well, there had been a lot to get used to. After a lifetime of barely even noticing whether or not the sun was out, suddenly needing to avoid it was a jarring adjustment. His entire palate and nutritional needs changed and his body both felt and looked so strange, so foreign. With the need for trollish strength and speed over, it would have been so much easier, so much more comfortable and familiar to revert to a human form, had it been possible.

But…

It had actually been years since Jim had to worry about the sun. As the Trollhunter he had access to a variety of stones he could add to his amulet to grant special abilities, including one that immunized him to the trollish sunlight weakness. It was still wise to be careful, and limit his time in the sun if and when possible, but nonetheless the workaround had been effective.

While he was no longer found enjoyment in some of his old favorite foods, he’s found new favorites. It had taken a fair while of experimenting to find the balance of his new palate, and now he couldn’t imagine not being able to eat his spiced metal-mouse stew that had taken Trollmarket by storm.

And his body…well, it had taken adjustments, but after a while he had come to accept it as it was. Claire had helped a lot with that.

Claire. Her love for him had not wavered for an instant, no matter what he looked like. In fact, he recalled her bashfully admitting not long after beginning their exodus to New Jersey, she rather liked his new appearance. Yes, she’d insisted, even the horns and the teeth and the blue skin.

This year would be their 35th wedding anniversary.

They’d even had children together, all four of whom had now grown and left the nest, but still visited frequently. They had been fully bracing themselves for the thought that this would not be possible—would a half-troll still be able to have a baby with a human, or would he be like a mule, unable to breed?

Finding out Claire was pregnant for the first time was one of the most exciting moments of his life…though even that could not compare to the day their daughter was born nine months later, looking surprisingly normal save for unusual pinkish coloration that never quite went away and the two tiny bumps on her little head that would later grow into stubby horns.

Jim turned the stone over in his hands again and again. His life had turned out pretty well, all things considered. Would it have been better if he were human?

This should allow you to take a human appearance at your leisure, Douxie had said. Like a changeling without the need for a familiar.

Like a changeling…so nothing permanent. He’d be able to switch back if he changed his mind. So what could be the harm in…trying?

Jim closed his eyes, taking a deep breath as he focused on the magic in the stone. He felt himself shifting…

…and opened his eyes to see an older, startlingly human man staring back at him in the mirror.

Jim examined the appearance in shock. He hadn’t seen himself as a human since he was sixteen years old. Of course this form would look different now. Even still, seeing it for real…

He was about half a foot shorter than he’d been before, his dark hair grayed. He’d lost his scruff but kept his sideburns, as well a shadow of hair around his mouth and chin that suggested he ought to shave (unless he wanted to start growing the beard). His skin, though wrinkled, was soft and decidedly not blue.

He was surprised how strange and fragile he felt in this body. In fact, it almost felt as strange as that day he’d woken up on his mother’s couch as a half-troll for the first time…

With a start, Jim suddenly realized that at this point in his life, he’d spent more time as a half-troll than he had as a human. Being half-troll was more normal to him than being human.

“Jim!” a familiar call came from the front door as Claire walked into the underground house. “Are you home? Laura’s here to visit!”

Jim grinned, shaking his head lightly as he reached out to the magic in the stone, re-assuming his half-troll appearance.

“In here, I’ll be out in a minute,” he called back, leaving the stone on the sink as he left to greet his wife and youngest daughter.

No, his life had not been perfect. He’d gone through more than his share of hardships, both before and after finding the amulet, before and after turning half-troll. But it wasn’t without the happy times, either. Throughout all his challenges, he’d been surrounded by friends and family, love and support. Each obstacle he’d faced and overcome helped shape him into who he was today.

Despite the hardships, in the end, he was happy. His life didn’t need fixing. It merely needed living.

And if he could go back, he would’t change a thing.

#trollhunters #tales of arcadia #jim lake jr #troll jim #fanfic #¯\_(ツ)_/¯#gotta go to aikido now so I don't have time to edit and therefore apologize in advance for typos and the like

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takaraphoenix · 4 years

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Rewatching Merlin makes me really wish for one change. I wish Angel Coulby’s character wasn’t Queen Guinevere but rather (a good version of) the Lady of the Lake. Partially because her character really deserved better than what the show wrote for her, but also because of on-screen chemistry.

Because honestly, Angel and Bradley have very little chemistry and particularly season 1 really sets Gwen/Merlin up, Angel and Colin have great chemistry, they are so wonderful together and I think those two would have made a great endgame for each other, which of course couldn’t have happened with the character being Queen Guinevere. But beyond the purpose of the ship-change, I do think that the role of the Lady of the Lake would suit her character very well and would open up fascinating new possibilities plot-wise.

Gwen’s character in the early seasons is amazing - she gets shit done, she tells Arthur when he is being an idiot (and I don’t particularly like that dynamic in a ship; it should not be the woman’s responsibility to basically raise the man and teach him wrong from right and how to act properly. She’s supposed to be his girlfriend, not his mother) , but she is also kind, wise, compassionate and understanding (very often, the female character who calls the men out on their bullshit is consequently portrayed as kind of a bitch, or as hardened and not soft, so it deserves to be pointed out that Gwen got to be both, soft and understanding but also completely done with this idiot’s nonsense), she had friendships and dynamics with various characters.

As soon as the endgame romance with Arthur kicks in, her character becomes secondary. No, even less than that. She is essentially reduced to the role of The Wife, who is at Arthur’s side, doesn’t get her own storylines or even just her own scenes with her previously established friends. She barely has interactions with Merlin anymore either, despite them having become such close friends.

It’s one thing that always bothered me about the later seasons, because the early seasons treat Merlin, Arthur, Gwen and Morgana rather equally and take care of establishing the dynamics between all four of them, individually.

So that’s a huge factor in why I wish this character hadn’t been Arthur’s endgame, because then she wouldn’t have just been reduced to Arthur’s Wife. (Not that that would have necessarily saved her from becoming a background note; the later seasons also treated the knights as essential background drops to set a scene for A Quest and not really as characters. But I’m trying to be optimistic here.)

And the thing is, Gwen as given in this show isn’t necessarily Queen Guinevere - because she is a blacksmith’s daughter, who is the servant of Morgana, who starts out with a crush on Merlin; not a princess, not with a crush on Arthur from the get-go.

Now, my proposal for keeping this character just as important and making her Merlin’s love interest without changing what is given of her in season 1 would be to make her a Lady of the Lake. And yes, “a”, considering that they waste the Lady of the Lake in the form of Nimue as a season 1 villain. And then introduce a second, very bland Lady of the Lake in Freya, so let’s kick the show OC Freya out and make Angel Coulby’s character the proper Lady of the Lake instead.

Because the Lady of the Lake is an important character and they just... offed her after one episode of tragic lovey-dovey-ness with Merlin and the handing off of one sword. Let’s just not, considering Freya is only introduced in season 2 anyway.

Naturally, Angel’s character would need a name change since Queen Guinevere is Arthur’s endgame (have that character introduced later, as a born and raised princess who ends up Arthur’s love interest; not all main characters need to be introduced in episode 1, after all).

Aside from Nimue, a common name for the Lady of the Lake is Vivian. So I’d go with that. Her introduction and role so far wouldn’t even change; Vivian, the daughter of the blacksmith, the servant and friend of Morgana, the girl with the crush on Merlin.

Particularly the daughter of the blacksmith part is what would make me want to see this, because she could quite literally be the smith who creates Excalibur then. Not just pull it out of the water to hand it off, but actually creating the magic sword.

And to make the whole “we kind of made two Ladies of the Lake” problem go away, it could easily be explained - that Nimue is her mother. Why not, Nimue is clearly much older than the physical appearance she shows in season 1 and is a known shapeshifter, so it wouldn’t even be suspicious that they don’t recognize each other.

It would definitely add an interesting subplot though, for Angel’s character to find out who her mother was and to have her, consciously, choose good.

Also, naturally, the magical element would be so fascinating! I want to see this character use magic! I don’t know if she would actually be aware of her own powers already, or if she would only come to realize about her magic after/during the Nimue arc. Either way would be interesting to see.

But Merlin having another good magic user at his side? Perhaps training together under Gaius? Can you imagine the fun dynamic there, because I can. And I’d love to see those two perform magic with each other. Or later on, her and Morgana going toe to toe when Morgana turns evil. (And also, a chance for her and Merlin to truly console each other about the loss of this dear friend and her betrayal.)

I just would have loved to see where Merlin and Gwen could have gone and I do think that those two as an endgame would have been quite the improvement. I also think that Gwen’s character deserved better than what later seasons gave her and I think that the role of the Lady of the Lake deserved better than what the show gave her.

#Merlin x Gwen #BBC's Merlin #Gwen #Lady of the Lake #Angel Coulby #I probably am sitting very alone #in this little boat #but I really think #her character and Merlin #had more chemistry #and would have made #for a better endgame #and the Lady of the Lake deserved better too #so why not both #at once

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