#i took 4 spanish classes dropped out of 2 of them took them again and i went YES ILL BE A SPANISH TEACHER | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

doyumacy · 3 years

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ʀɪᴅᴇ ᴏᴜᴛ - 4

ʏᴜᴛᴀ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ x ᴍᴀʀᴋ ʟᴇᴇ

ɢᴇɴʀᴇ: ꜱᴍᴜᴛ, ᴅʀᴀᴍᴀ, ᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴ

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: ᴍᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴅʀᴜɢꜱ, ʟᴀɴɢᴜᴀɢᴇ, ꜱᴜɢɢᴇꜱᴛɪᴠᴇ, ᴍᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ, ᴄᴀʀ ʀᴀᴄɪɴɢ, ᴘʜᴏɴᴇ ꜱᴇx, ɴᴜᴅᴇꜱ

ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 4,7k

ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ: @coffee-prince-kyungsoo

5, 6, 7

“marco,” donghyuck calls mark, entering the warehouse.

mark hums in response, checking his phone. “sup, hyuck?”

“i have great news,” he smirks. “i was doing numbers, and after we’re done doing business with doyoung we’ll have enough to move to japan.”

mark nods. “okay cool. why japan tho?”

“street races are way cooler there,” hyuck shrugs. “and girls are hotter.”

mark rolls his eyes. “yeah sure. tell jeno and yves.”

“damn, aren’t you gonna be sad when you leave y/n?” donghyuck looks at him.

mark rubs his left cheek, still checking his phone. “nope. it’s just sex.”

“fine. i’ll have everything settled,” donghyuck walks to his car. “maybe two months?”

“yes, two or three months.” mark nods.

when donghyuck leaves, mark places his phone on the couch and stares at the wall. it’s not going to be hard leaving, right?

right.

it’s just casual sex.

two people having fun and that’s it.

no feelings involved.

he shakes his head, groaning to himself. the last thing he needs is falling for some chick he’ll never see again

(...)

“y/n?” jaehyun calls you from the kitchen.

“yes?” you reply from the couch in the living room.

“can you come and help me?”

you stand up and go to the kitchen. jaehyun is standing next to the stove, holding a box. he’s focused on reading the instructions on the back. he sees you and hands it to you. “could you translate it to me?”

you take the box and you frown. it’s written in spanish. “i don’t speak spanish, jaehyun.”

“yes you do, i’ve heard you speaking it.” he cocks an eyebrow.

you laugh. “i memorize words and repeat them. it doesn't necessarily mean i speak it fluently.”

jaehyun rolls his eyes. “is someone in this house fluent in spanish?” he raises his voice.

jisung enters the kitchen, he opens the fridge and takes out a blueberry gatorade. “i’m not. sorry.”

jaehyun groans. “you two are useless. get out of my kitchen.”

you look at him. “it’s my house?”

“just… get out,” jaehyun waves you off. “you too, jisung.”

“what are you even trying to make?” jisung laughs.

“tortillas,” jaehyun sighs.

jisung looks at you and you both burst out laughing. jaehyun crosses his arms on his chest. “what’s so funny?”

“why can’t you just google the recipe?” you say.

“because i thought you were fluent and bought this cornflour!” jaehyun glances at you.

you sigh. “use google translate.”

“jisung, i heard you took some spanish classes,” jaehyun looks at him.

“i think you heard wrong, my friend. i took chinese lessons once,” jisung giggles.

“completely useless, as i said,” jaehyun shakes his head.

“what is my boy jaehyun upset about?” johnny asks, leaning against the doorframe of the kitchen.

you turn and see johnny, and behind him is mark who leans on the other side of the doorframe.

you slightly blush, remembering how good he fucked you nights ago. your legs on your chest, he pounding into you. mark smiles at you, guessing what’s going through your mind right now.

“jaehyun thought y/n was fluent in spanish,” jisung shrugs and sits on the kitchen counter.

“and you’re not?” mark looks at you.

“no,” you chuckle. “i wish i was.”

“see, our dad is korean but we have different mothers.” johnny tilts his head. “of course, my mother is korean and so is my dad. and the woman who my dad cheated on is not. who happens to be her mom. and i don't remember her mom speaking in spanish.”

you squint your eyes. “they didn’t need to hear you married dad fucked my mom.”

“ouch,” johnny places a hand on his chest. “that hurt.”

“deserved it,” you smile at him.

“you’re rude,” johnny pouts.

jisung sighs dramatically. “i should’ve gone to an orphanage.”

“jisung!” you stare at him.

he smiles showing his teeth. you shake your head and take johnny’s lips in your fist and push him away so you can get out of the kitchen. “you should be used to.”

“so is anyone going to help me to make tortillas?” jaehyun groans.

“dude, there’s a store that already sells tortillas like 2 blocks from here!” johnny looks at him.

you leave jaehyun and johnny bickering and jisung as their audience and go back to the living room, sitting on the black leather couch in front of the tv. mark follows you.

“so… you two hate each other or something?” mark asks, confused.

you look at him and tap on the couch so he can sit next to you. “i sometimes want to put his head inside of a microwave and turn it on, but i love him.”

“that’s even more confusing,” mark jokes.

you smile. “we grew up together. he was a year old when his dad cheated on his mom and his mom left our dad, leaving johnny as well.”

“so your mom raised you both?”

you nod. “yeah. i mean, kind of?”

mark tilts his head quizzically. “kind of?”

you sigh deeply. “my mom died when johnny was 7 and i was 5. it was tough, but johnny has had it tougher, you know? losing both mother figures… and i don’t remember my mom much.”

“i’m sorry, y/n.” mark rests his hand on your right shoulder. “i shouldn’t have asked.”

“it’s okay,” you smile slightly.

“what about your dad?”

“my dad remarried,” you giggle and rub your chin. “he uhm started dating johnny’s physics teacher when he was in high school and they now live in san luis obispo.”

“do you visit him often?” mark rests his elbow on the backrest of the couch.

you shake your head. “not really. he doesn’t like the lifestyle we have so keep pushing away, you know? the last time i saw him was maybe 5 years? i think it was his wedding.”

wraps his hand with yours and looks at you. “he’s missing you out. you’re amazing, extraordinary, incredible, unbelievable…” he kisses your hand.

you can’t explain to yourself why your heart is going faster?

you like him.

fuck off.

mark releases your hand when he hears johnny coming to the living room. he stares at you both. “what were you doing”?

“just chatting,” you sgruh.

johnny hums, taking his jacket. “by the way, y/n, next time you bring someone please tell them to keep it down.”

mark’s eyes widen open. you laugh. “it wasn’t my guy. it was me.”

my guy.

johnny makes a face. “oh please. you’re disgusting.”

“you started it!” you giggle.

“can’t the dude afford an hotel?” johnny scoffs and looks at mark. “you’d take her to your place at least, right?”

mark feels like he’s choking on his saliva and you look at him. is he blushing? mark getting shy? no way.

“i highly believe mark would take to his place instead of fucking me next to my brothers’ rooms,” you smirk.

johnny grins. “you two think i’m some kind of an idiot, don’t you?”

now your mouth drops to the floor and marks wishes the earth would swallow him. johnny laughs. “fucking mark, you think you could bang my sister without me finding out? you got some balls, dude.”

“but i - he- how?” you stare at johnny.

“you two always look at each other as if you were undressing you. all the hickeys pretty much in the same spot…” johnny shrugs.

“he’s lying,” jisung wraps an arm around johnny’s shoulders. “i saw you two.”

“you what?!” you almost scream.

“i think i’m gonna pass out,” mark murmurs.

“but i told you they’d admit it,” johnny looks at jisung. “you owe me $20 big boy.”

“damn it,” jisung groans, taking his wallet out, handing johnny a $20 bill.

you and mark stare at each other, not knowing what to exactly say.

“listen, i don’t care about your relationship as long as you don’t knock her up,” johnny warns mark. “or give her something.”

“johnny oh my god, just… shut up!” you clench your jaw.

“hey, i’m the oldest here,” he stares at you, placing his hands on his hips. “and as her older brother, i give you permission to date her. it’s alright.”

“we’re not dating,” you murmur between teeth.

“dude, you’re totally screwing this up,” jisung laughs. “look at mark! he’s red as a tomato!”

“jisung, be quiet please.” johnny looks at him. “thank you. where was i? ah! right. since you’re not dating then i give you permission to bang her, but not when jisung or me is around. it’s weird.”

“okay, that’s enough. this is embarrassing.” you say, standing up and leaving the three men.

johnny whistles. “that was alright. i’m a great brother, aren’t i?” he smiles proudly.

“i really feel sorry for you future kids,” jisung mutters.

“hey!” johnny stares at him.

mark inhales deeply and looks at johnny. “dude, listen, i’m sorry, i really w-”

johnny waves his hand. “do as you want, mark. but let me tell you something, if you hurt her i will chop off your dick and feed it to my neighbor's dog. it’s a promise.” johnny smiles at him.

mark gulps. johnny is not kidding.

“got it, canadian boy?” johnny asks.

mark nods. “perfectly.”

“fine!” johnny nods. “let’s go mark, we got business to attend.”

(...)

mark whistles. forty kilos of remarkably potent methamphetamine. almost worth it in half million dollars.

mark sees johnny coming out of a bedroom with a black haired guy walking next to him. mark doesn’t recognise him and he thinks he’s an old friend from johnny.

and he is.

“mark, this is yuta. yuta, this is mark,” johnny introduces them to each other.

yuta stares at mark and remembers seeing him leaving the same room as you the night of the party.

he’s the guy you’re now fucking.

but yuta knows he has no right to be upset since he made a choice, and by making that choice he knows he lost you.

“nice to meet you, yuta.” mark extends his hand.

yuta shakes it. “you too, mark.”

“awkward,” johnny hums. “okay. thank you for coming, yuta. we need to leave now before doyoung gets all crazy thinking we chickened out.”

yuta nods, still staring at mark. “i’ll be off the radar. take care of y/n.” yuta looks at johnny.

“always,” johnny nods.

yuta gives mark one last glance and he leaves. mark sighs deeply. “are you okay with this?”

johnny looks at mark. “what do you mean?”

“lying to y/n…”

johnny rubs his forehead. “i had no choice, mark.”

mark nods. “forget i asked. it’s none of my business.”

“yeah, it is not.” johnny walks to his car. “whatever is going on between you two you cannot tell her, mark.”

“and i won’t.” mark assures him.

johnny and mark drive from south los angeles to beverly hills, where doyoung’s apartment is.

when they arrive at the building, mark and johnny can tell doyoung is all about luxury: he lives in one of the best zones in los angeles and he only wears expensive brands. as expected.

they get a code to go up to his place and once they’re outside, doyoung’s bodyguard check them in case they decided to carry a gun. clear, they enter to his apartment and johnny whistles. “motherfucker knows how to use his money.”

“of course i do,” doyoung speaks behind them.

mark turns around and he sees doyoung walking to the bar counter. “did you bring my candies?”

“yes.” johnny replies and tosses him the backpack and a small bag.

doyoung makes a signal to his bodyguard and he walks and picks up the bags, empiting them. he places the drug on the counter and takes out a scale from underneath. the bodyguard looks at doyoung and nods. doyoung waves him off and pours some whisky on his glass. “you sure yuta made this?”

“yes.” johnny answers.

“alright.” doyoung tosses him a wad of wills. “200k and i’ll give you the rest when the rest of the shit is sold.”

“we agreed on 300k,” johnny looks at him.

“i gotta make sure it’s yuta’s meth,” doyoung stares at him. “now get out of my place.”

“fucker,” johnny mumbles.

mark clears his throat and walks to doyoung. “thinking you’ll be selling that shit three times more, you’ll be getting around 8 million. so we’re gonna want more than just 300k.”

doyoung cocks an eyebrow at him and then stares at johnny. doyoung opens his mouth to reply him back but mark does it first. “how do i know it? basic math. you normally would sell five grams for 60 bucks and you have 40 kilos. and right now, the price for a kilo of meth is 12 grand.”

doyoung squints his eyes. “how much do you want?”

“a million.”

doyoung laughs. “i’ll give you 500k, that’s the last offer.”

“okay,” mark smirks. “then this is the last time we’ll be making business.” mark turns to johnny. “johnny, my contact in canada will give us so much more.”

johnny doesn't’ know shit about mark’s ‘contact’ in canada. in fact, he doesn't even know anything about it.

until he catches it.

“yeah,” johnny shrugs. “thanks, but next load will be for him. sorry doyoung.”

mark and johnny walk towards the door. doyoung groans and places his glass on the counter. “fine. one million, but next load i want 80 kilos.”

“you’ll have them,” mark assures him.

“now leave before i change my mind and blow your brains up.”

when johnny and mark get to johnny’s car, johnny turns to mark. “are you nuts?!”

“doyoung is a bitch, he was going to pay us shit and we’re doing the dirty work!” mark stares at him. “a part of it.”

“how in hell are we gonna get him 80 kilos of meth?” johnny rubs his face with the palms of his hands. “yuta won’t agreed.”

“then we gotta make him,” mark shrugs.

johnny frowns and looks at him. “what is your evil mind planning?”

“my mind isn’t evil,” mark scoffs. “i just… i thought of pushing him a bit to help us.”

“he’s going to kill you, you know?” johnny says as he turns the car on.

“i’ll be rich and dead,” mark pinches his nose. “what else can i ask?”

(...)

you are not sure what got you to take the photo. you are even less sure what got you to hit send.

since mark left your house with johnny that afternoon, you didn't see him or hear from him and you miss him.

so you do something you think you’d never do again.

shirt off. tits out.

chewing on your fingernails and staring at your phone screen. waiting.

mark opens the door of his apartment and drops down on the couch. his phone buzzes and he smiles when he sees your name on the screen. he unlocks the phone and he freezes. heart racing as he bites his lips. his throat bobs, amd he slightly groans at how quickly his jeans are growing tight.

you’re smiling directly into the camera. breast squished together and cheeks rosy pink. his cocks is painguyll nard now and he feels pathetic at how hard he got just for seeing your shirtless.

when his hand starts slowly trailing down his torso, his phone pings again. he sees the message is from you once more.

did you like it?

fuck yes. the things i wanna do to you right now… you're so hot.

;)

want me to return the favour?

you're sitting on your bed, holding your phone in your hand and you nip at your lip.

yes.

then you wait, staring down at the phone. just the thought of him taking a photo on the other end of the phone is making you wet, just imagining him slipping a hand into his already tight jeans and -

your phone pings and you unlock it. you almost drop your phone when the picture pops out. mark has a nice cock, but surprisingly, it isn’t his cock that draws your eyes first, but his hand. you imagine his hand wrapping your neck slightly. choking you. that hand is wrapped now firmly around the base of his pretty cock. flushed red and dripping with pre-cum.

the hand not gripping your phone slowly slips down your stomach and into your panties. you’re shocked to find yourself wet, gently rubbing circles around your clit as you stare at mark’s dick. how bad you want to clean it up with your tongue.

you manage to type with your shaking hand, dipping one finger inside of yourself.

i’m so wet for you.

you get a response minutes after, but you’re too busy thrusting a finger in and out yourself. then another message

another angle. the camera is higher this time, giving you a perfect view of his face. his black hair is messy and plastered to his forehead with sweat. his cheeks are flushed pink and his shirt is bunched up around his ribcage. he’s looking right at you, eyes half lidded. hand still tightly wrapped around his cock.

fuck it, you decide and hit the video call button.

mark jumps when his phone starts to ring. his hand shakes when he hits accept. you pop onto his screen, cheeks flushed, sweat dripping down your brow, mouth hung open and panting.

“h-hey mark,” you breathe, breaking off into a moan halfway through his name. you just moaned his name.

“ah,” his throat bobs, still slowly working his cock. “hey…”

“i thought this might be uhm...” it’s now that he notices the way your free arm is moving. something is happening off screen, he can guess what it is. you have a shaky breath and manage a nervous smile, “...you know, easier? than the photos…”

“ah, yes.” a nervous laugh comes up out of his chest, “i was having trouble typing. my hands are kind of busy.”

you smile softly, but a twitch of your lips betrays your nerves. “do you still want to see?”

a noise that could almost be called a whimper escapes mark’s mouth at the thought, “y-yeah. i mean if you are willing to show someone like me then i would be… very happy..”

he watches as you take a deep breath, and begin panning the camera down past your breasts, over the curve of stomach, before it finally focuses in on your fingers, dipping slowly in and out of your dripping center. he chokes on a sound, half a moan, half a laugh as he watches you languidly fingering yourself. first just one finger, but then quickly two.

“you weren’t kidding about how wet you are…” he breathes, completely in awe of you.

mark hears the nervous ring of your laugh from off camera, “y-yeah.” you breathe shakily, fingers still continuing their ministrations.

your thumb reaches up and brushes across your clit, he sees your thighs shake and he licks his lips, tightening the grip of his hand around his weeping cock, “i’d give anything to be there right now.”

there is a little fumbling, and then the camera comes back up your face, bright red and smiling shyly as you refuse to make eye contact with the phone screen, “so do i.”

there’s a lull in conversation. your eyes turn to meet his through the screen, and for a moment he is just jerking off to your expression. the way your eyes clench shut, the way you hiss through your teeth. he can see your arm moving faster, he can’t help but wonder how many fingers are inside you now. can’t help but think it were his fingers insead.

“mark?” you ask, voice high pitched and almost mewling.

he gulps, his hips are bucking up into his hand now. you look so beautiful like this, “yes?”

you meet the approximation of his eyes, chewing your lower lip nervously, “are you still-?”

mark nods, “yeah I-“

“can i see?”

his heart is racing, but he nods and shuffles a little higher up on the pillows. mark takes a deep breath in through his nose and switches his phone to the back facing camera. he watches your eyes blow wide and your mouth drops open in a moan, “fuck… it’s so pretty. you’re so pretty.”

mark laughs, slowly bringing his fist up to the head of his cock and teasing the tip with the pad of his thumb. he can see that your eyes are following the movement, “you really like it?”

“if i was there with you it would have been in my mouth like half an hour ago.”

mark groans at that, head falling backward on his pillow as he flips the camera back around, “you’re torturing me.”

“the faces you’re making… i love them,” you whisper, biting down hard on your lower lip to hide a moan. your arm is moving even faster, breasts shaking with the movement.

mark keeps pumping his cock even faster and you hear him choke a moan.

he can feel himself getting close, there’s a tightness in the pit of his stomach that is just begging him to let it go. keening and moaning, eyes scrunching shut as his hips guide his palm into a particularly delicious stroke, he can here you whimpering and mewling on the other end of the phone, and if he listens hard enough he can hear the wet sounds of your fingers pumping into and out of your sex.

“ah mark, i wish it was your fingers inside of me.”

he feels those words in his insides, from his stomach all the way out to the tips of his fingers. it is like a bolt of lightning to his heart, to his cock, to his everything. you want him. his mouth drops open, and words escape him before he can think better of it, “i- fuck” he gasps as his thumb brushes over his weeping slit, drool running down over his chin, “i want your mouth on me. i want it so badly ah shit i-”

you don't stop touching yourself, twitching and gasping, getting closer and closer just watching him as he shatters. the moment that breaks you, your final snap is when you catch a glimpse of his wrist giving himself one last pump off screen. his brow furrowing and a delicious moan escaping his perfect lips, splattering his bare torso with his cum.

it’s too much. with a breathless moan you feel yourself tip over the edge, your insides tightening, toes curling and the world goes white behind your eyes. all you can think about is mark. your hand is shaking when you finally slip your fingers out of yourself and wipe them on your bare thigh, when you open your eyes you can see mark laying back on the armrest and breathing deeply as he comes back down.

you giggle, “so…”

mark cracks open an eye, “so…”

“do you want to keep talking?” you grab a shirt and pull it on over your head, “or was that...it?”

you watch as mark runs a hand through the mess of his hair, he gives you a sleepy smile, “i need to clean up, but i can leave the audio on if you want?”

“yeah.” you reply, “that sounds good.”

(...)

a few days later, you end up driving all the way to orange county to meet doyoung and do what’s asked you.

“there’s my star,” doyoung greets you, smiling while walking towards you. his bodyguard walking behind him.

you smile at him back. “you didn’t tell me it was going to be crowded tonight.”

“word got spread the famous y/n suh will be racing tonight against the rookie jwi,” he smiles sideways and leans against your car.

you take a deep breath. “are they here?”

doyoung shakes his head. “he’ll come.”

“is there something else i need to know?” you inquire.

“he never gets off his car; he just races and then leaves. one of his friends collects the money and that’s their routine,” doyoung crosses his arms on his chest. “his technique is quite impressive.”

“what is it?” you turn around, expecting him to arrive.

“double clutching,” doyoung announces. you turn to him, surprised. “i know. he’s fucking insane, he matches up engine speed with cluth speed between downshifts and gets smoother transitions.”

you place your hands on your hips and furrow your eyebrows. “i can come up with something better than that.”

doyoung grins maliciously. “i hope you do. i want that fucker out.”

a green subaru wrx makes their way, all eyes on it. he’s the mysterious driver no one ever has seen. and to be honest, you want to know who’s sindie the car. he stops his car next to you and makes its engine roar. “don’t fail me, y/n.” doyoung stares at you, before exiting the start line.

you get into the car and start the engine, your car sounding loud as the people around you.

you grip at the wheel and turn around, eyeing the green car. you wonder if he’s nervous.

the race is not a regular race. the race will start in newport beach to santa ana. 12.9 miles. it’s risky and dangerous, but you tell yourself you’re gonna do great. you know all of the streets. the gps system in your car traces the path you have to run.you hold the hand break, to do what you know the best, drift.

you are fully focusing on the street and the cars in the middle, you’re not going to run the random chance to hit any car and have an awful accident. you look through the mirror and can’t see the green subaru, you keep shifting the velocities, slowing down the speed to be able to turn to the left. you are still ahead of the race. where are you green subaru? you think, gripping the steering wheel tighter. you keep running straight, when suddenly the green subaru appears from an interjection coming from the right side, almost hitting your car.

“piece of shit,” you murmur.

the subaru guy's next movement is hitting the nitro, leaving you behind. you see the downs the shifts to the third velocity, slows the speed, drifts in the curve when turn to the left. the subaru goes ahead by a few inches. when he passes the finish line, the wind that the car gets due to the high speed, lifts up a few skirts from some of the women there. and he keeps going straight.

he’s gone.

you lift the hand brake, burning the tired roughly and the car ending in a horizontal position. you have lost the race.

“you knew i was going to lose?” you follow doyoung.

“yeah,” he says as he walks to his luxurious car.

“then why did you even bother to ask me to race against him?”

doyoung turns. “because then you can come up with something better. this time.” he stares at you. “something useful to make him lose.”

“why do you care? just ask the dude to race for you,” you scoff.

“i’ve already tried.” doyoung states. “and whoever that asshole is making me lose money and races.”

“races?” you frown.

“the underground races in moreno valley and san bernardino, all are of his idea.” he rubs his forehead. “if you know the streets, then you know who runs car races and drugs, and that’s me.”

“so he’s hurt your pride.” you look at him.

“he’s now messing with my businesses,” he clicks his tongue. “when you finally get him, i’m gonna stop him from racing but i’m also gonna fucking kill him and feed him to my dogs.”

“that sounds like your problem,” you comment and sigh. “just… call me when the next race is.”

“i will,” he nods. “suh?

“you better get him, or you’re gonna end up like him: as dog food.” he stares at you.

you gulp

****

sorry for taking so long to update guys !! who do you think is jwi??

#mark lee smut #mark lee imagine #mark lee x reader #yuta smut #yuta x reader #yuta imagine #nakamoto yuta #mark lee #nct smut #nct 127 smut #nct 127 x reader

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blizzardfluffykpop · 3 years

Text

Backseat Bingo

Summary: Turns out the lead singer from your favorite band is really handsome.

Do or Not Series

Fluff

Word Count: 2,448

Hui X Reader [Featuring: Shinwon and Changgu as siblings]

50s AU [What I wish the 50s were]

“This place is the antsville,...” I muttered to myself when my siblings and I entered the bar. It was jam-packed with people no more than a few inches away from each other as they tried to crowd around the stage. Who was going to play? I had no clue, but I knew they were going to be big. So I pushed myself between people and squeezed to the barrier as the musicians came onto the stage. That’s when I saw him, his eyes glimmered under the pink lights. Carding his hand through his hair, he stated, “Tonight, folks, we’re going to play a few of our hits. Let’s see if you know them!” And with that, he holds up his fingers and signals, ‘1, 2, 3, 4’!

Surprisingly, I knew every song as I listened to the radio as often as possible. It’s only when my parents are busy listening to the news playing on the Morning Radio that I miss the hits. Whenever everyone was outside, I would find an excuse to be listening to the radio on the inside. Would I get in trouble for it? Yes, but it is worth every second. Finding out the voice I found attractive belongs to a handsome man? Made it well worth getting scolded for listening to the radio, ‘too much'. While I sang along, I found myself getting lost in his demeanor; how his voice would ring out on high notes, how his voice sounded like pure honey. I couldn’t get enough of it. So when their concert ended, my heart broke. I wished to see him again, but I knew I was getting my hopes up too fast. I found Changgu and Shinwon, my two younger siblings, perched at the bar.

They were drinking two milkshakes, and when they waved me over, they ordered me one. Which I gladly accepted, "Did you germs enjoy the concert?" They smirk at each other and nod at me, “You were ogling the crooner~” Changgu teases me, “He’s not a crooner, you germ.” Changgu shrugs at me, and I roll my eyes. Shinwon gets up, flips his collar up, acting like he’s hot shit. And says, “Well, it was nice knowing you oddballs, but I see a looker at 10 O’clock, and I don’t want to miss my shot.” I roll my eyes yet again and shrug, “Later, guess it’s just you and me, Changgu.” He shakes his head, “It's just you, I’m gonna talk to the drummer, Wooseok.” I gasp, “You know him?” He nods, “I’m not introducing you to the lead--” I groan, “Later, Germ!” I groan, into my straw and watch the clock. Three more hours before my siblings and I need to be back. If we are late, I am so blaming it on Changgu.

While waiting on the two, a grubby guy comes up to me and asks me questions like, ‘How’s my night going’? to which I answer 'Fine.' And, ‘What’s my name?’ to which I don’t respond. On the fifth question of, ‘Do you come here often?’ I finally have enough and ask, “Are you writing a book?” Doesn’t he get that I am not interested? I groan internally. What will it take for him to leave me alone? When this gorgeous guy comes up to me and asks, “Is he bothering you, Baby?” I nod, and the guy quickly backs up and goes, “I was not--, I did not know they were yours. Actually, I hear my buddies calling, so I’ll be splitting.” The guy smirks and sits down at the bar next to me when I recognize him. He was the guy singing up on the stage, “You have a bad reputation or somethin’?’ He shrugs, “Depends on who you ask.” I smirk to myself, “Well, what if I’m askin’?” He smirks over at me, “Well, I’m as bad as you want me to be, Baby.” I conceal my smile and wink at him.

One thing led to another, and I was in his backseat making out with him. Don’t know how it happened, but I’m not complaining. I drag him on top of my lap and suck a bright red hickey on his collarbone. He's not one to be outdone, which leaves me, two bright red hickeys, on my neck. I have my hands fisted in his dress shirt, pulling him closer and causing wrinkles. When we hear a knock on his passenger window, it's the drummer, Wooseok, “Can I catch a ride from you?” Hui groans into my neck, “Can’t you see I’m-- Yes, yes I can. Give us a few minutes, okay?” I laugh as Hui gestures to the two of us, and Wooseok gives me a small wave. When Wooseok leaves, Hui slips off my lap, and I whine, making grabby hands at him. He chuckles, "I'm sorry to cut this short I don't want this to end." I pout, "Me neither. Why can't he get a ride from someone else?" Hui laughs, "I have a feeling the others already took home their dates. Plus, Wooseok can't drive--" I interrupt "What eighteen-year-old can't drive?" Hui laughs, "He's learning." I cross my arms over my torso and say, "Well, I was learning what your lips taste like." Hui smirks and pulls me back in for another kiss, "I know I won't be able to fall asleep in this class." I smile as we part and help him fix his dress shirt as he helps me fix up my hair. He asked if I needed a ride as well, and I shook my head. Since I'm taking Shinwon and Changgu home, I’m going to need to get a turtleneck to cover up this damage. We part ways with one final kiss, and he asks, "Will I ever see you, again?" I smile, "Depends. Are you asking to stay?" He smiles, "I live ten houses down on Maynard." I nod, and with that, I'm gone like the wind.

I find my way back into the bar and find Shinwon lying on a bench. While Changgu is laughing at whatever the bartender is saying. Shinwon catches my eye, and with a smirk, he says, “I heard you were doing back seat bingo with Hui from Wooseok~.” I roll my eyes, “Oh shut it, Shinwon. Can you give me your turtleneck? So our parents don’t see my marks?” He shrugs and goes to the bathroom and comes back with his coat covering his chest. And hands over his turtleneck which I slip over my shirt. “What happened to the ones you guys had an eye on?” Changgu groans, “They had a girlfriend and did not want anything to do with me.” I squint, “I thought you were talking to Wooseok.” He shrugs, “I was, but I saw a cutie, and I went after them, and it was a complete bust.” I laugh, and Shinwon shakes his head, “Mine wasn’t much better.” He tells us with a sigh, and I ask, “How so?” He smirks, “I got a date next Friday, suckers!” I roll my eyes, “Of course.” Changgu groans even louder into the table, “Am I the only one whose night out didn’t go well.” I shrug, “I mean at least you aren’t working this shift.” He shrugs, “You have me there. So do you have a way to contact Hui?” I nod, "I am striking out this week." In unison, Shinwon and I go, "You should try out for baseball then." Shinwon is celebrating his victory, acting like he won when I am the one that hit a home run. I ended up snogging and giving hickeys to the lead singer of a famous hometown band.

The daylight couldn't arrive faster as I watched the clock, waking up every so often to see only twenty minutes have passed. I wanted to scream, but that would alert the whole house I was anxious about tomorrow. What if he turns me down? What if he only wanted to be with me for that night, and Wooseok ruined his plans? It made me nervous and restless. The clock could not tick faster to reach 9 a.m., could it? I wish to know more about him. Like what is his favorite time of day, what keeps him up at night. What makes his heartbeat fast? Where did he learn to sing? The questions raced around my mind so much, I finally crashed.

I wake up and stretch out my limbs to see it’s eight-thirty in the morning. Which leaves me enough time to get up, have some breakfast with my family. Get dressed and walk down my street and over to Mayard and to the tenth house on the right. When I’ve brushed my teeth and headed downstairs, I find my mom and Shinwon sharing a cup of coffee. They wave and tell me there is more in the coffee pot and toast if I would like some. I grin and pour myself a cup and join the two at the table with a piece of toast in my mouth. My dad bounds down the stairs and sighs, “I’m gonna be late.” My mom shakes her head, “Honey, you live right across from the school. I hardly doubt you can’t make it on time.” He shakes his head and kisses her on the cheek. Changgu comes down the stairs with a whine, “I want to go back to bed!” We shake our heads at him, “It’s your last year in school. If anything you should be grateful.” Our parents laugh, “Yeah, when we were in high school, they canceled our senior year due to the Spanish Flu. So be glad.” Changgu groans, “I would much rather they do that--.” My dad shakes his head, “Alright, grab a cup of coffee, and we are off to school, bud.” Changgu groans again, and they leave the house in a rush.

My mom turns on the Morning Radio and says, “I heard you and the lead singer of that group you like so much,... What do they call it? Backseat Flinging?” I groan, “Shinwon---!” Shinwon shakes his head and says, “I did not tell her it was called that.” I shake my head, “We just made out.” She smirks, “Yeah, that’s why you’re wearing a turtleneck in the middle of Spring. I remember what it’s like to be a teenager!” I shake my head, “Are you sure?” It’s her turn to laugh with Shinwon. “Shinwon, you’re acting like you didn’t score a date last night!” Our mom’s jaw drops, “So you were just gonna leave this out, Ko Shinwon?” She scoffs, and I smirk at him, “Oh yeah, you should have seen him last night, Mom!” It’s his turn to groan as I fill her in on the details. We tell her how Changgu’s catch was a complete bust. She pouts, “I want my kids to be happy. Come on! These people need to step up their game. We’re the best-looking family on the whole block.” I laugh, “You got that right, Mom. Well, I gotta get goin’, or I’ll miss my chance.” They nod and bid me goodbye.

I walk down the street, trying to ease my nerves by looking at the different types of flowers. The daffodils are beautiful this time of year. I pluck one, hoping Hui and I can start a new beginning. I knock on the door, my nerves wanting me to turn around and run down the block with all I got. But I steal my nerves and smile as his father opens the door. With a warm timbre, he asks, “Who are you here to see?” I tell him softly, “Hui.” He yells for Hui to come downstairs that a good-looking person standing on the porch wants to see them. I hear loud footsteps resonate throughout the house. And quicker than lighting there, he stands in front of his dad. Thanking him and shuts the door behind him, I hand him the flower. His cheeks turn red as he accepts the flower as his sweater falls off his shoulder, revealing the hickeys I gave him. He catches me staring at them, and he smiles, “I was hoping to see you again.” I grin, I didn’t expect him to wear my hickeys proudly, but I’m pleasantly surprised. I blushed and traced them with my fingers, my heart beating out of its chest as my touch sent shivers down his spine. He places the daffodil behind his ear, and my heart warms at the act.

He leads me over to the porch swing and asks, “What do you say, if you’re free, of course. Would you want to spend the day together?” I shrug, “As long as you bring me home for dinner time at my folks' house. Then, yeah.” He smiles, “I can do that.” We split a milkshake at a diner, cranking out the latest hits from the jukebox that fills in our pauses. “No, you would not believe how fast Shinwon ratted me out to my mom that I was snogging you.” He laughs as I sip from our milkshake and tells me, “The band came over for some midnight snacks while my dad was still up. They went ‘Look at what your son was up to’ those bugs.” I laugh, “What did your dad say?” He grins, “Said, ‘Thank Lord Almighty that he’s finally gonna settle’.” I grin, “Is he right?” Hui scrunches his nose up and tilts his head from side to side with a smile playing on his face as he tells me, “Depends.” I playfully roll my eyes and say, “Okay, Dreamboat.” He smirks, “Ahh, you think I’m dreamy?” I shrug, “I don’t think you’re a boat if that is what you're asking.” We snicker as our fries come out, “You’re unreal.” I lightly pinch myself and let out a tiny ‘ow’ and tell him, “I feel very real to myself.” He grins, and that’s how we spend the rest of our day.

When we reach his house, I go to kiss his cheek, and he turns his head fast, and I kiss him by accident. He smirks as he pulls me in for another, “One is never enough.” I can’t stop the smile from dancing across my lips. I grab his collar pulling him deeper into the kiss. When we finally pull away, I ask, “So what do you say to going steady?” He leans his forehead against mine and says, “You got me pinned, Baby.” I smile and kiss his cheek successfully this time and rush off, “Well, I gotta split baby, I’ll see you in my dreams!” He yells out, “I’ll see you there!”

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prosopopeya · 3 years

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New Year’s Meme

this survey has been a tradition among my friend group for YEARS, but i haven’t filled it out since 2015 apparently. i’m not entirely sure why except 2016 was the year a lot of stuff changed for me, namely in that i finally got out of school in some form and started a new job, but i also had a few health problems that kept plaguing me (thyroid medicine being off, vitamin d) and my anxiety was all over the place. so here we go i’m doing it again and feel free to do it too if you want!!

1. What did you do in 2020 that you’d never done before? tried on wedding dresses. taught virtually. dealt (poorly) with drunk teenagers. performed in a pep rally. wore face masks all the time. i’m going to lump in living with someone. jon moved in october 2019, but i don’t think i did this quiz last year so. taught ap.

2. Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions and will you make more for next year? i don’t really like resolutions. they put too much pressure on me and i am a fragile person when it comes to setting expectations and living up to them. i did want to try to read more this year, and i maintained that until the pandemic, and then just kind of gave up requiring myself to do anything but live.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? i don’t think so. a coworker did.

4. Did anyone close to you die? jon’s cousin committed suicide in march or april. the circumstances were pretty upsetting. um. andy died in february, very suddenly. andy was my high school boyfriend for four years with whom i had a very... he scarred me in a lot of ways when it comes to sex and consent. it’s taken me a long time to unpack all of that. and i struggle with how much any of that was his fault or just bc he was a stupid kid too. our mutual friends had nothing but nice things to say about him on fb. anyway. he would guilt me into saying he’d kill himself if we broke up, and jon’s cousin killed himself over his girlfriend. so that was a complex part of the year.

5. What countries did you visit? none. literally the week before the quarantine, we went to asheville to visit jon’s cousin.

6. What would you like to have in 2021 that you lacked in 2020? maybe a different job? or at least some peace at doing mine.

7. What date from 2020 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? march 13 we cancelled classes and had a technology training day; the 15th we had another one, and then we were virtual the rest of the term. it was such a sudden shift and while i so loved working from home tbh, it was such a relief after a supremely shitty january/february work-wise, i still had a lot of keyed-up, stressful days centered around transitioning to being the senior upper school spanish teacher. i hate it!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? writing 50k in the month of november. i have literally never done that before and actively reject nano as being typically unhealthy for how my mind works, so it was nice to do it entirely by accident.

9. What was your biggest failure? mishandling the drunken teenagers on that field trip in january.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? i sit crosslegged in my virtual teaching chair and i did it so much that my ankle hurt for the entire summer.

11. What was the best thing you bought? we put a deposit on our elopement in ireland. jon’s wedding ring. (i didn’t buy my wedding dress.)

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? my best friend at work who keeps me sane and is represented by benny in my au, which other than the fact that he is not my sidepiece, is perfect he is crucial to my survival at work and i love him so much. (also he is gay and the french teacher so the benny parallels just keep coming). everyone who tore down a statue in virginia (and other places, but especially monument avenue). everyone putting their lives on the line during this pandemic.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? guess! but aside from all the obvious, i found out a friend of mine at work voted for trump. my work bff and i had been trying for years to sway his politics, but that had us both deciding to give up on him.

14. Where did most of your money go? food, ALCOHOL. god., our savings account. i did a pretty excellent job saving this year, though a good deal of that is because jon moved in and makes more money than me, and also we split all the bills.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? my wedding dress but strangely only when i went to try it on after it came in bc after the purchase i was so sure i’d made every mistake possible. my wedding band. wellbutrin changing my whole life. and, last but certainly not least, the gay angel and the bi(lingual) hunter. i wouldn’t have survived nov-dec in school without that distraction. the election.

16. What song(s) will always remind you of 2020? the entirety of taylor swift’s oeuvre this year, maybe specifically “this is me trying”

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: i. Happier or sadder? happier, i suppose, perhaps contrary to what should be the case, but wellbutrin is a hell of a drug. ii. Older or wiser? wiser. ii. Richer or poorer? richer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? reading. cleaning. exercising.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? stressing. chaperoning.

20. How will you be spending Christmas? so, an update; last year was the first year i didn’t go to my mom’s for christmas. i was supposed to see her for thanksgiving last year, but she basically told us not to come bc she wasn’t feeling up to it (cool!), and we went to jon’s for christmas and my mom’s for new year’s.

this year, obviously we couldn’t go to my mom’s. instead, we rented a little cabin by the lake. it was perfect; it was really really nice inside, the beds were SO SOFT, the pillows were the best things i have ever laid my head on, like i took off the pillowcases to try to find the brand. we had a little tiny christmas tree with tiny ornaments from walmart that we decorated. the 23rd, we went and picked up our wedding bands. we slept two nights in the (cold) back bedroom so i could wake up and look out at the lake. it snowed for christmas. :)

we opened presents on christmas eve, per jon’s family’s tradition. on christmas eve, we also went to his family farm and sat outside and hung out a little. every year his family does like a secret santa sort of thing and i got my first present in that exchange, which is notable bc jon and i are not yet officially married. i got a remote control car -- jon’s idea bc i couldn’t think of anything, and he was so delighted to hear that i loved playing with rc cars when we went to the beach as a kid.

christmas morning we facetimed my parents and opened some presents together. then jon and i marathoned mandalorian (after spending the previous few days watching several die hard movies), and then we watched wonder woman 1984 which was a bad movie.

21. How will you be spending New Year’s Eve? ok LAST year for new year’s, we were in a hotel room, so that was nice, bc it meant minimal stress with my parents. i had always wanted to go to this restaurant near us that has a special new year’s menu, so we did that. the night before or after i think we went to cheesecake factory, which was also amazing.

this year currently i’m tumbling and he’s playing pokemon, and in a bit we’ll try to time it so we finish schitt’s creek in time for the new year.

22. Did you fall in love in 2020? i re-fell in love with supernatural so that was nice.

23. How many one-night stands? 0. i submit we should randomly change question 23 each year to something more relevant to any of our life experiences.

24. What was your favorite TV program? what did i even watch this year. schitt’s creek. mandalorian. i mean obviously we know supernatural. the circle. are you the one (the queer season). pose. unsolved mysteries. we’re here! perry mason. watchmen. oh maybe that mcdonald’s monopoly fraud documentary. avenue 5. i’ll be gone in the dark. of those i think my favorite maybe is... pose or we’re here.

OKAY UM. on my 2014 version of this there were a bunch of questions about tv shows that i’m putting back in if only for the memories:

25. Which TV shows did you start watching in 2020? the haunting of bly manor, which we still need to finish. derry girls.

26. Which TV shows did you let go of in 2020? HERE’S WHY I WANTED TO RESURRECT THESE. here was my answer in 2015: “supernatural. goodbye, my sweet prince.” CAN YOU EVEN FUCKING BELIEVE

27. Which TV shows did you mean to get into but didn’t in 2020? Why? so far, queen’s gambit and that one on hulu with catherine the great. EVENTUALLY. 28. Which TV shows do you intend on checking out in 2020? fleabag. queen’s gambit. 29. Which TV show do you think you might let go of in 2020 unless things significantly improve? idk i drop things pretty regularly if they don’t entertain me 30. Which TV show impressed you least in 2020? GUYS HERE’S MY ORIGINAL 2015 ANSWER: “supernatural. :(”

anyway back to the rest of the quiz:

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? every person who refuses to listen to facts and information.

26. What was the best book you read? killers of the flower moon: the osage murders and the birth of the fbi, or the his dark materials series.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? well i knew about tswift so i’m not going to count her albums. i will count this song that jon played for me once in the car that got stuck in my head for two weeks straight and led me down into a great related-songs spotify playlist: through the roof ‘n underground.

28. What did you want and get? a wedding dress and a very specific kind of wedding band. a gay angel. a christmas getaway. animal crossing.

29. What was your favorite film of this year? idk i don’t know how many films i saw this year. maybe mucho mucho amor: the legend of walter mercado

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? i was 32. we went to an escape room with a BUNCH of people -- work bff, my old work bff and his wife (old bc he quit and we’ve fallen out of touch :(), the cool new physics teacher and his fiancee, and the aforementioned trump voter and his wife, before we knew... we went out for brunch/lunch after. it was pretty great!

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? not having to chaperone that school trip in january. dean being bi in english as well as spanish. cas just ilke, appearing in 15x20. not having to physically go back to work this fall.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2020? no! real! pants!

34. What kept you sane? jon. supernatural (in a way?). animal crossing for a while. wellbutrin! i haven’t really been able to detail this yet, but finally i did something about tumblr and my therapist making me think about adhd. my doctor gave me wellbutrin (bc i lack any official diagnosis and was on anxiety meds anyway, and he was like let’s try this!) and it’s fucking. it’s a fucking godsend. surprisingly enough, my students. trying to provide them a safe space has been a calming thing for me.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? jensen ackles’ silence. misha collins again, i guess.

36. What political issue stirred you the most? the summer was so fucking intense. i guess though it was me trying to exert my influence in a responsible way with my students without trying to try to make them feel uncomfortable but then one kid was a vocally upset trump supporter after the election and i had to try to defuse that situation.

37. Who did you miss? my old work bff. several old friends that i’ve fallen out of touch with bc i have no object permanence.

38. Who was the best new person you met? people i met through the spn resurgence!

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2020: if you manifest it in an au, it will come. no really though. maybe that expectations are only as important as i make them out to be.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: usually i have a hard time coming up with anything for this and i default to looking at my most played songs of the year. my most played song of the year received each and every one of its plays within the month of november and you can guess why. anyway see if this works

I had all and then most of you Some and now none of you Take me back to the night we met I don't know what I'm supposed to do Haunted by the ghost of you Take me back to the night we met - the night we met, lord huron

#happy new year #annual meme

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avellanas-nutty-empire · 3 years

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Covid has really been hitting people hard, but today, as a University student in her third term, I'd like to talk about schools spesifically

I remember last year in my second term when classes got moved online. I had an anxiety attack week one because I just couldent do it. I just cant do school things while I'm at home - I cant even read for leasure (something I really enjoy doing) at home. Theres too many House things to do at home, that's why I designated spesific things to do elsewhere. But now I cant leave my house except for work.

My english teacher too, told me of the day it was announced the whole college was going online, that he saw teachers crying in the hallway. If I were teaching that year it would have been me aswell. But instead, I took the 2020 fall term off, picking up more hours at my essential worker job with my terrible boss who somehow hadn't gotten fired yet. I took the term off, hoping to avoid the chaos of online learning while it was at its worse. But I couldent avoid online school forever, if I skipped a second term in a row i would have to re-enroll; an unnecessary spending of 50$.

This 2021 spring term, I was talking with my counselor about the due date to drop classes; he said the final day to drop without getting marked down for it AND fined for a late fee was feb 17th, a good 3 or 4 weeks after classes start. Great. Except today I got an email saying a 3% late fee would be applied by the first of February.

That was 17 days of class I could have spent figuring out if I had too much on my plate or not. I was already prity confidant I would keep astronomy and psychology, but Spanish Film became a big issue today. The teacher was sick the first 2 days, so today was our first real lecture. Her native language is spanish, and thus she has an accent. An accent I just cant understand (none of which is her fault).

It's hard enough paying attention to the zoom lectures, but now I dont even know what the teacher is saying? How am I supposed to deal with that. I tell my mom and shes completely unremorsful - saying I should just turn up the volume (I have sensitive ears and would like to actually be able to hear when I'm her age so hard pass - it also genuinely just does not work for me, I did try it) or I should just drop the class. But then I start wondering what if this spanish film is the one class for its UCORE requirement I can actually pass? What if the other options are harder and I make things worse by dropping it? What if - what if - what if -

And I feel myself start to spiral. But I dont - I cant have another anxiety attack over online school. This is only the beginning of the term, I barely made it though the last 4 weeks of last years term. Pull yourself together and just email her

I finally gather enough courage to press send on the email I typed up asking her to see if she can figure out how to add CC to help me pay attention and focus (and also just genuinely know what the fuck she is talking about cause I was so lost today). A few hours after I send that email, she posts the next film and assignment along with graphic scene warnings for the film. I cant even read the warning sentence without almost getting triggered.

At first I thought telling her about it would be out of the question, considering she still hadent responded to my previous email - that would be asking for help twice in one day on 2 different subjects. But as I keep thinking about it, weighing my options, I cant stand it anymore. The warning sentence alone was too triggering - and if I watched the scene I would surely get worse and worse symptoms of my irrational fear. I cant watch that scene. So I email her again telling her as much, asking for an alternate film to watch (as she stated she would do if students needed one) or if I should just try to skip past the scene and watch the rest of the film.

She emails back rather quickly, saying not to worry and I dont have to watch it. But she doesnt say anything about an alternative and still hasnt responded to my other email. I start to worry again. How bad of a student must I be to ask for help/special circumstances on 2 completely different areas of the class to put me on an equal playing field in less that 12 hours. Now I'm that student that's always asking for special things to help me. What if it turns out I'm lying about needing them and I'm just doing it to be lazy and get out of extensive work? How terrible of a student must I be then?

No. I remember in 8th grade my math teacher told us about 2 students he used to have that raised their hands and asked a lot of questions every day in class, and one day they came up to him and said 'we must be your worst students, huh' and he was all 'on the contrary, you are my best students'

They asked questions. They asked for help when they were confused, and they learned a lot more by asking than doing otherwise - I'm sure a few other students learned at least a bit from their questions too.

So no, I am not the worst student for asking for accommodations. I'm a responcible adult who genuinely wants to learn from that class and not fail or need to drop it. I want to be successful. And if that teacher wont help me, it's not worth taking her class.

So go forth, and ask your teachers questions with the youth of a 6 year old asking random off topic questions just for fun!

Tl;dr you arent the worst student ever for asking for help no matter what kind of help or how much you ask for - it just makes you a better student, and better than the teacher if they refuse to help you :)

#avellanahablando #school #anxiety attack #anxiety #help #accommodation #special circumstance #online school #question #questions #online learning #zoom class #zoom lecture #college #university #covid #covid19 #coronavirus #i rlly hope i did the tldr thing right

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yume-fanfare · 4 years

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Aiming towards the heroine, Suzumi Hiyori

this is a translation of one of the four short stories HoneyWorks posted at the beginning of the pandemic! it’s written by Kosaka Mari, you can read it in japanese here. this was translated from this spanish translation by mieltrabajos.

Other stories:

The whereabouts of the roast beef

Two people at the school festival

Who is the owner?

Aiming towards the heroine, Suzumi Hiyori!

Walking towards the studio with the popular high school idols was LIPxLIP's manager in practice, Suzumi Hiyori. That day they'd be taking photos for a magazine. Although she was used to working, she was nervous when they took those kinds of jobs. Plus, that day they'd be with someone whom Hiyori admired, Narumi Sena.

When she stopped her amongst the staff, Hiyori gasped.

“Narumi Sena is so cute!"

She had been modeling since she was in middle school, so she'd always had a great figure. Her waist was slim and her legs were long and slender. Her egg-shaped face was small and her eyes and lips stood out.

“Hiyori-chan, hand this out to everyone,” a woman from the staff called out, and Hiyori nodded.

They gave her a tray with cups of both tea and coffee, and she offered them to the people around her, which included Sena.

(You can’t fail today!)

I’ve done hard work before.

It’s very important I don’t spill tea or coffee on Sena’s clothes like last time.

“Excuse me…,” she nervously called out to Sena, who was checking her phone. When she turned towards her, Hiyori offered: “Drink these, please!”

The model smiles and giggles, taking the cup.

“Thank you.”

(Phew~)

Even if Hiyori was just a staff member, she had thanked her properly.

Having forgotten her duty, Hiyori zoned out staring at Sena. The more she looked at her, the prettier she seemed.

(She’s totally different from us~)

Sena, bringing the cup to her lips, noticed Hiyori’s stare and met her eyes.

“Uh! Narumi, you’re a senpai in Sakuragaoka…”

“Ah, yes. That’s right. Could it be… you too?”

“Yes!” Hiyori nodded vigorously, her eyes sparkling.

“So, you’re in the same year as those two…”

“Yes…”

Standing a few meters away from them, Aizou and Yuujirou were talking to a staff member.

They returned her gaze, so Hiyori quickly averted it.

“Oh, so you guys are my kouhais, how nice.” Sena smiled, drinking tea, and then asked Hiyori: “Do you like school?”

“Yes, though it can be difficult…”

The boys casually glanced back at her with a clear question in their eyes: “What are you doing?”

“I see... I’ll cheer you on!”

Maybe it was just because of the situation, but the words brightened her mood.

“I’ll do my best!”

“That’s the spirit!” Sena answered. “Oh, and thank you for this!” She gave her cup back to Hiyori, who left to put it away.

“She’s so cute… Narumi-san.”

Hiyori then got serious and declared:

“I think I’ll be able to make it if I work hard!”

“Nah, that’s impossible.”

“What nonsense are you talking about?”

From right behind her, Aizou and Yuujirou smirked while saying those words.

(Oh, go away!)

“I don’t know what to do with you two!” She turned away, puffing her cheeks.

---

The next day, after school, Hiyori was in club practice.

“Let’s fight!”

The other club members observed her determined look as they stretched.

Hiyori was in the track and field club. She had been invited by the club’s supervisor. Ever since she left her hometown for the city and chose to attend Sakuragaoka, she knew she would join the track and field club.

When she had work as manager in training, she was asked to leave school early, but besides that, she mostly spent her time doing club activities, even if she had to put them aside sometimes.

She really wanted to focus on club activities, but she was living alone so she really needed to earn money for living expenses.

This too, is to live.

It was a secret to everyone in her class and department that she worked part-time as a manager. There would be many jealous people if one were to say they work as an idol manager in training. Though she was already used to the occasional threatening look.

Plus, those two are completely different to what people think they are.

(I’ll get my revenge!)

Remembering their prideful faces made her sick. She raised her eyebrows, angry.

“Suzumi~! You can take a break now!”

“Teacher, I’ll run around some more another time!” she said, jumping to the ground and racing towards the main gate.

(Absolutely, absolutely… I’ll be like Narumi-san!)

“See you later, Aizou, Yuujirou!”

At the gate, Aizou and Yuujirou were waving to some yelling girls.

A refreshing smile was painted on their faces, very different to the gloomy faces she saw at work. Walking as fast as they could, they tried to get into their manager’s car before looking back one last time.

Hiyori got on her bicycle and raised her fist.

“Let’s do this!”

---

Hiyori, who had voluntarily been running even after club activities, got back to the clubroom, tired.

She had gotten back much later than the other members, when they were already changing back into their uniforms.

“I ran too much,” she sighed, opening the door

Hina, her senpai, approached her.

“Hiyori-chan! I was worried since you were taking so long. How far did you run?”

“I’m sorry, Setoguchi-senpai, sorry!” She quickly bowed her head and then laughed, putting a hand behind her neck. “I was running laps, and I lost track of time.”

Hina smiled.

“Ahh, you can’t help it.”

“What’s the matter? I rush things. It’s a good thing, right? I just…”

“What is it?”

“I want to improve my figure.” She pressed her index fingers together, blushing.

Hina rolled her eyes.

“Your figure…” she answered.

“Like Sena-chan!” she answered with a serious look.

Hina laughed.

“That’s why you ran so much?”

“Setoguchi-senpai, I want to tell everyone!” she exclaimed, getting red and fussy.

“I’m not saying it’s a bad thing but… Hiyori-chan, are you feeling okay?”

“Of course, Setoguchi-senpai, I guarantee you.”

Hiyori sighed.

“I won’t butt in then. But… I can understand your feelings a bit. I wish I was more like her,” Hina admitted shyly, tapping her chin with her finger.

(Well, Setoguchi-senpai is really cute the way she is…)

Her pigtails look cute too.

“Oh, you should change clothes quickly. I have to close up soon!” Hina pulled out the key to the clubroom and smiled.

“Oh, wait for me~!” Hiyori quickly took off her jersey and pulled out her uniform from the locker.

---

When she got back to her apartment, she stared at the poster in the wall and started.

“... 97, 98, 99…”

Sit-ups.

When she got to a hundred, she let herself drop on the floor, exhausted. She looked at the ceiling, breathing heavily and let out a long sigh.

When she closed her eyes, she out imagine a thick steak and a cream-filled crêpe floating behind her eyelids.

“To be a heroine… right?”

She was working hard every day to be like Sena.

“That’s right, even those two…”

Remembering the ones who laughed at her in her face, Hiyori frowned.

(Agh, they’ll see, you’re working very hard).

“I won’t lose!” She got up and started doing push-ups. “1, 2, 3, 4…”

(I can do it… I can do it… I’ll turn into a heroine from today on!!!)

---

Hiyori was in front of the starting line. She did a small jump and then got into the starting position.

Today’s club activity was a short-distance run.

When an upperclassman blew the whistle, she immediately started running towards the finishing line.

The man holding the timer said:

“Wow, Suzumi-san, we’re going to have to update your best score!”

Hiyori didn’t stop, screaming:

“Let’s do it!”

Her voice carried over to the soccer and baseball teams, who were practicing.

Enomoto Kotarou, who was on the soccer team, turned around, surprised.

“What…?!”

Some other members who were practicing forgot to keep kicking the ball too and turned to look at Hiyori run.

“That must be the star of Sakuragaoka’s track and field club!”

The club president smiled with satisfaction, nodding as he watched her go.

“How far are you running, Hiyori-chan?!” Hina, who had just taken a break, said in a hurried and worried tone.

Suddenly, Hiyori fell face first on the floor and did not get up.

“Hey, Hiyori-chan!” Hina shook her rushedly. Her eyes were completely white.

---

Hiyori hummed and opened her eyes, feeling rested.

“Where am I?”

Looking around, she found herself in a quiet forest, surrounded by trees. She was wearing a red dress.

“This is…!” she exclaimed, surprised, and turned around to see it better. “Um… I really am a heroine!!” She lifter the hem of the skirt and confirmed that she was wearing matching red heels. “Finally, I turned into a heroine too!”

She raised her hands and jumped, happy.

(Maybe I’ll meet a charming prince soon!)

She clasped her hands together as she daydreamed. Then, coming from somewhere, she heard a voice singing.

From behind the shade of a tree, she saw a shining cape.

“That…! Maybe it’s my prince…!” Hiyori gasped, covering her mouth with both hands.

When she looked closer, she saw that what the cape covered was a thick meat steak. On its side was a sticker that read: “5% off”.

“It’s a special beefsteak!”

But Hiyori tripped, lost to her own selfishness.

The cape-wearing beefsteak slipped away, singing as it escaped to a deeper part of the forest.

“Wait, no! My steak!”

---

“Steak…! A good steak… singing… don’t leave, please…!” Hiyori suddenly woke up, blinking. “I’m right here…”

She got up and looked around. She was in a bed in the school infirmary. The sun was setting and the room was dyed in orange.

“I’m glad you woke up!” a girl who wore the track and field club shirt met her gaze.

“Setoguchi-senpai!”

When Hiyori looked at herself, she saw she was still wearing the club clothes.

(It was a dream…)

Hiyori sighed, disappointed to find out she wasn’t a heroine yet.

“You always say you can do it, right?”

“I’m sorry!” Hiyori pressed her hands together in an apology.

(I worried Setoguchi-senpai again!)

She closed her eyes and her stomach growled.

Looks like just a rice ball hadn’t been enough lunch.

(Aaahhh, that’s embarrassing! In front of Setoguchi-senpai…!)

Hiyori blushed, holding her stomach.

“I have a discount coupon from a ramen place my brother gave me…” Hina fidgeted with her hands. “Would you like to go?”

(Setoguchi-senpai and ramen…!)

Hiyori’s face brightened.

“Yes, I want to go!”

“Then let’s change clothes.”

“Yes!” she answered happily, getting up from the bed and leaving the infirmary with Hina.

(I’ll turn into a heroine… starting from tomorrow!)

---

Aizou and Yuujirou were waiting for the manager’s car to arrive, as usual, when they saw Hiyori leaving through the main gate and discreetly followed her.

Seems like she didn’t have part-time work today. She was laughing and talking about ramen with another girl.

“That girl, what is she aiming for?”

“Well, isn’t she a strong girl?”

While they talked, the manager’s car appeared in front of them.

They laughed in unison and got into the car.

#honeyworks #lipxlip #suzumi hiyori #HER #LOVING HIYORI HOURS #and sena and hina.....................#it's been a while since i last talked abt hina but i love her sm #and hnghhhhhhhh admiring sena hours #this feels like watching sports anime in the sense that it gets you all pumped up to do things but you're just. sitting at home lskjdklsjd #though!!!#this is the energy i want to be carrying into the next schoolyear!!!#which is starting. next week i think.#aaaa.#mar's translations #anyway that was the last one!!!#hworks #hw links

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purplesurveys · 3 years

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1180

The last time you washed your hair, did you use conditioner? Yeah, I’m pretty paranoid and always feel the need to use conditioner because of a bad rebonding job from like a decade ago that stiffened up my hair as soon as it would get wet. It lasted for around a year, so I formed the habit of always using conditioner every time I shower. I don’t think I’ve ever used just shampoo since then.

Do you prefer light or dark jeans? Dark, but I suppose it would be nice to start experimenting with lighter shades as well.

When you listen to music, do you generally sing along, or just listen? It depends if I know the lyrics or I’m feeling the song at the moment. Obviously with my new obsession with BTS I can’t really sing along to entire songs, but I do sing the few English lyrics they have per song, hahaha.

Do you have any of your exes as friends on Facebook? Yeah but she’s been muted for like half a year already, as is the rest of her family. I do have plans to unfriend her entirely; I’m just not sure when I would push through with it, and I already gave Angela permission to log onto my account one of these days to be the one to do the unfriending.

Who was your first love? Do you ever miss that person? Gabie. I miss the friendship sometimes; I don’t think I’ll have a friendship as deep and connected as the one we had, so I will always feel sorry about how that went to waste. But I don’t really think about our relationship anymore as I’m pretty good at blocking off certain memories, so I don’t miss her in that sense.

How many cars are parked at your house right now? Two.

Do you have any Italian ancestry? I highly doubt so. If anything there’s probably a tiny drop Spanish blood in there but that’s the most European I’ll ever get.

Do you prefer water to be ice cold or at room temperature? Like, drinking water? Ice cold, always. I hate warm water.

Has anyone ever told you you’re a control freak? Not to my face, but I know I’m one so I’m sure other people have said that about me at least behind my back.

Do you know anyone who has gone missing? If so, were they ever found? Yes, my friend Mik and one of my aunts. They were both found eventually.

What was the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten? Eating ghost pepper instant noodles was a pain I would never want to go through again...I threw that shit out after my first forkful, lmao.

Do you need to talk to someone? No, not in particular. In a more general sense I do wanna start gaining more friends though, so I’ve been meaning to expand my circle by creating a new Twitter account just for my BTS dump. In other words, I am a 23 year old with a stan Twitter HAHAHAHA

Is something confusing you at the moment? No, I’m good.

When was the last time you had a real deep chat? Maybe my conversation with Andi a couple of nights back. We were talking about a tricky situation with their ex-friend who turned out to be a real dick when they came out to him a year ago, and they just wanted to get my perspective on how I would handle it.

Who did you last see on webcam? The PR manager for one of our clients, who we all despise because he doesn’t know how to do his job. Thankfully he’s resigning soon so we’re all just waiting for him to leave and finally meet a much more competent replacement.

What’s your best friend’s pet’s name(s)? Angela has two dogs, Hailey and Kennedy. Andi had Apollo, who I wanted to meet so badly but sadly he passed away a week ago at 15.

Have you ever taken a picture while laying in the grass? There are photos of me sitting on grass, but not lying in it. I would imagine that would feel very prickly and uncomfortable.

Who’s your favorite Disney character? Baymax or Flynn Rider.

Have you ever deliberately tried to get someone drunk? I’ve made my friends chug drinks or down shots and it’s happened vice versa, but it was always in good fun and we never made each other harassed from it. It’s just your typical college rambunctiousness, and if anyone felt uncomfortable or iffy then we didn’t hesitate to move on.

When was the last time you used a pay phone and who were you calling? I’ve only ever seen those in my first school, when I was in kindergarten. I never got to use it and they also took them out not long after.

Do you like being kissed on the neck? Yessssssssss

Have you ever had sex with someone you weren’t dating (but had feelings for) in the hopes that they would ask you out later? Nope. I don’t think I would have sex with anyone I wasn’t dating.

What’s the most you would be willing to spend on a good bra? Probably a couple thousand bucks if I thought I looked good in it.

Do you have any of your teachers’ personal cell phone numbers saved in your contacts list? I don’t think so. I never tried getting close with any of them, and I always tried to stay hidden as much as possible. I was just in class to get good grades and pass.

Do you ever stalk peoples’ personal blogs, even if you don’t know them very well? I never really scroll through people’s Tumblrs anymore. That was more of a thing I did in like 2013, but these days going through my dashboard is enough.

What’s one thing about today’s generation that you just can’t stand? Some social media trends done for clout make me revolted, especially when it has anything to do with wasting food. I also hate when they do extreme pranks that I know I wouldn’t find funny if I were ever the victim, like tossing someone’s phone into the ocean.

Be honest: how do you feel about abortion? Pro-choice.

Is there anyone you currently want to reach out to? I would love to catch up with Katreen at some point, but I know we’re at different points in our lives now and it would probably never happen.

What is your favorite piece of art you own? I commissioned my sister to make an artwork of the 2D1N cast, and she did a great job making it! I haven’t gotten to use it or promote it yet, but I will soon. It’s really well-done.

What’s the one thing you apologized for this month? Replying late.

My favorite color is ______? Pastel pink.

I wish I had _____? Longer weekends.

What did you buy today? Nothing – I’d call that a success lmao, I’ve been spending money as if I had a million fucking bucks over the last week. I did have some packages arrive today though: my own copy of 2 Cool 4 Skool (my first physical BTS album!!!!!!); the official poster from their album BE; the Ivy Park sneakers I ordered earlier this month, and an Ivy Park bucket hat Bea had apparently gotten for me as a birthday present.

What has challenged your morals? Vices.

What made you pick up the last book you started reading? I had to read it in preparation for a one-on-one session with my employer’s CEO.

What about your life concerns you the most? Whether a stable future is in the cards for me.

What do you find particularly offensive? Would you say you’re easy or difficult to offend? Probably Filipino-American comedians or influencers who use stereotyping of Filipino accents and habits as a punchline; they do more harm to the culture than good. I can tell you not one Filipino who lives in the Philippines actually finds those funny, and Bretman Rock is probably the only personality who’s able to flaunt the culture in an entertaining and hilarious yet classy way.

When it comes to being offended, I guess it depends on the context. My humor can get pretty dark and low-blowy, but I would have a problem with someone who I know has genuinely problematic views.

What was the last series you finished watching? Do you have any plans to begin another? I think it may had still been Start-Up from last December. I’m not too big on Korean dramas since I find one episode waaaaaaayyyyyyy too long. I don’t think I’ll be starting on anything soon, Korean or otherwise.

What is one way in which you are different from a year ago? What is one way in which you are still the same? I’m single now, for the first time in technically six years. I also think I’m doing better and happier, breakup notwithstanding. OH and I love wasabi now, hahah. As for what’s unchanged, I still like taking surveys and I’m still stuck at home, though the latter’s not really in my control anymore.

If you could learn about anything without the stress of grades or cost, what kind of classes would you take? I’d just go back to UP for the free tuition. We also have the widest range of programs out of any university in the country, so it’s a damn good deal.

Name a song you’ve listened to today? Fly To My Room - BTS

When you were younger, did you have a swing set or a playhouse in your backyard? We didn’t; but one of our relatives that we’d regularly visit did have a playground that I’d use all the time. It’s still there, just very unmaintained since no one uses it anymore.

Is your mall nice? Which one? We have five different malls nearby lol. Mall culture here is on another level.

Do you have a Sonic near you? If so, what’s your favorite drink from there? No. I’m not so sure what they serve there, either. I’m guessing milkshakes?

Will you be voting in the presidential elections next time around? I’ll always exercise my right to vote.

How do you feel about chocolate-covered strawberries? I hate strawberries and I hate fruits, so even if you coat that shit in Nutella and cookie butter and chocolate syrup I still wouldn’t touch it.

Did you ever stop having feelings for someone and then started having those feelings again for them? No.

Do you hate the last guy you had a thing with? I’ve never had a thing with guys.

To whom did you last give the finger? I haven’t had to do that in a while.

What was the last musical instrument played in your presence? My sister’s keyboard.

Do you like sprinkles on your ice cream? Not particularly. They make things look cute, but they never taste like anything tbh so I never saw the point in paying extra just to have them on my desserts.

Honestly, have you ever crashed a party before? Nah. I cringe thinking about that.

Do you know how to do the moon walk? I don’t.

Has anybody ever told you that you have a good singing voice? Never gotten that specific compliment before because I know I don’t have one.

Onion rings or french fries? Onion rings.

Has anybody ever described you as a heart breaker? No.

Has anybody ever told you that you talk too fast? I don’t think so, but I know I have the tendency to do so occasionally, especially while I’m presenting a deck. Once I notice it I make an effort to pace myself.

Who is the best cook that you know? My dad and both my grandmas all deserve that title.

Which meal throughout the day do you skip the most? I literally never have lunch ever.

What’s the largest amount that you can juggle at one time? I can’t juggle.

What was your favorite thing to go on at the playground as a kid? Sandboxes, since I liked the texture; the sandboxes in school were also often empty, which worked well for my introvert self. I find that it’s carried over to today, since I still enjoy touching things like slime and kinetic sand.

Do you know how much you weighed at birth? How much? I think 5 or 6 lbs, I’m not exactly sure but it’s definitely somewhere in that small range.

Which aspect of your daily routine takes the most time? What do you do? Work, for sure. I work a normal 9–6 so that’s already 8 hours out of my day, but I also OT a lot after hours, and I work throughout my lunch break as well so that technically makes it 9 hours. I also like getting up earlier and starting some work before my shift so that I would have less tasks on my plate for the day.

Do you enjoy buying gifts for others, or could you do without this? I LOVE getting people gifts. Food is especially my love language, and I always get food delivery for my friends, family, and my team at work.

What is one thing you are expected to do, if anything? I mean, I have work deadlines tomorrow so there’s that.

How do you tend to view driving? Monotonous or entertaining? I love driving. I don’t think I ever complained about having to do it. It’s calming and relaxing when I’m doing it alone or with a partner; and it can be entertaining with the right set of people.

Do you enjoy talking about music with others? Not always. If I don’t listen to the artist then I can find the conversation quite boring, like if my friends would get into a full-blown discussion about Taylor Swift.

Is acting something you enjoy? No. It wouldn’t even be something I’d be interested in doing.

When do you feel most accomplished? Finishing a work day with no tasks left behind.

Do you think Manwich is amazing or completely gross? Idk what that is.

How many best friends do you have? Two.

Are you a smoker, drinker, pothead or none of the above? I drink sometimes. I also kinda smoke, I guess.

If you have your ears pierced, when did you get them pierced? My mom had them pierced when I was a month old.

Do you own any exercise machines? My mom has this rowing equipment thingy. I don’t have any of my own, though.

On Facebook, do you have people listed as your siblings who aren’t really your siblings? No.

Have you ever drawn or painted a self-portrait? I remember having to draw one as a school assignment, but I’m pretty sure I half-assed that because I couldn’t care less for art class back then.

Who was your last voicemail from? We don’t have voicemails.

Have you ever been falsely accused of something serious? I don’t think so. That’s the sort of situation that would stick out in my memory if ever.

Did you ever set up a lemonade stand when you were a kid? No, not a thing here.

When was the last time you spoke to someone in a different language? Around an hour ago when I went downstairs and chatted with my sister briefly.

Have you ever received an anonymous gift? Nope.

Have you ever camped out somewhere for an event the next day? Nope but I definitely still wouldn’t be opposed to doing that haha.

When were you the saddest in your life? 2016 was fucking miserable. < I’d have to agree. 2017 was also awful.

Do you know anyone, personally, who is in an abusive relationship? Are you? I used to know one but she got out of it. In a sense, I suppose I also was in one.

If you have siblings, have they moved out or do they still live with you? Well they’re younger, so they definitely still live here, with our parents. I’m the first one expected to move out, but I’m taking my time.

Have you ever gotten searched by the cops? No.

Do you like fried rice? Of course. I like any kind of rice.

What was the last thing you drank? Water.

#survey #surveys

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suffering-and-happy-about-it · 5 years

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Mount Everest Ain't Got Shit On Us (Fezco x fem!reader, part 8.)

Description: You were always told that your life will be as you wish it to be if you’ll study enough. That it will pay off if you work hard. And some people were given you like the scary example of what will happen when you don’t obey. But sometimes it feels good to disobey.

A/N: x

Warnings: Nate being fucking Nate, man.

Word Count: 2.9 K

Read the rest here, babe: PART 1 PART 2 PART 3 PART 4 PART 5 PART 6 PART 7

Masterlist and declaration: H E R E

Anything in your life does not come because you fucking want it to come. There is no way to go around things you need to go through. Some things need you to be patient.

Did Bill Gates or Steve Jobs have their fortune after the first night they dropped out of school? Did Leonardo DiCaprio win an Oscar for Titanic the movie? Did your teacher become a teacher just like that? Did your mom tell herself that her child a failure after the first time you fell off a bike?

If you answered no to all of the previous questions and you’re completely clueless about what they mean? That means that all of those people had a shit ton of patience. That's a thing you need to remember. You need to have patience before you can actually archive something. And relationships are a thing you need to be extremely patient about.

So saying that Fez was something like your boyfriend for the first two months was too much. He wasn't.

It had all the classifications of a relationship, yet you answered a simple 'no' when somebody asked if you're taken.

You thought about him intensely, sometimes you tend to daydream and you were definitely looking forward to every minute you could spend together, you were excited about every date in the evening, but you remained more friends-with-benefits than actually in a relationship.

Fez seemed to be a free-minded guy. So free-minded that

You liked each other. A lot. Kissing was just your every hang out classic. The whole party thing was still in the public subconsciousness, but other things have happened in the meantime. Some girl from juniors class was pregnant, another was beaten up by her very own dad. You and Fez weren't that important.

But because you've been patient, it paid off pretty well. One day, when you were hanging out at Fezco's shop with Kat and Ash, sipping some fresh, ice-cold soda on the counter of the shop, a big boy came inside.

He was big and his face was known to you. That was Nate Jacobs, Maddy's boyfriend and probably the most feared boy in the hood. He wasn't pleasant to be around at all from what you heard.

"Hey, the small one." - He came to the counter slowly, putting the soda down in front of Ash. Nate looked at you and grinned at you in a weird manner. - "This, some rolling paper and Marlboros. The red ones."

"Dat all?" - Ash asked with an unfriendly face. So everyone has heard about this guy, you noted.

"Yep. And who are you, hm?" - Nate leaned into the counter, looking you in the eyes. He noticed your skin - smooth, perfect and almost without hair on it. Your face was small and cute. Be would be able to have something with you if you would like to. And he was thinking about at the very moment.

Which wasn't the best choice if you ask me.

"I'm Y/N. Your classmate. We have... Spanish and bio together. Thanks for noticing." - You chuckled and sipped some soda. You looked him in the face just as his eyes slowly darkened. The atmosphere was slowly getting more and more uncomfortable.

"Yeah. I'll remember it the next time. Are you single or not? Just for research purposes, of course." - Nate had his predator look on and watched you sitting on the countertop with your knees crossed.

"Nate, if I were you, I wouldn't ask that stuff." - Kat tried to shake it off, but there was Nate's hand on your knee all of a sudden. Just as you shook it off with the disgusted face, the bell next to the door rang loudly. And the blood in your veins froze because it was Fezco the man himself.

You were supposed to go to the cinema together, that's why you were waiting for him in his shop.

"What da fuck man? What ya think ya doin' here?" - Fezco slowly approached you with a look of a murderer. He was looking Nathan up and down and you somehow felt that Fez is just seconds away from snapping. Which was something you thought you'll never be able to see?

That flattered you as anything Fez ever did before.

"I'm just talking here with Y/N. What's your deal? I'm shopping. I'm a daily customer." - Nate winked at you and put cash on the counter, taking all of the things.

"He tried somethin' on ya?" - Fez looked at you and you got off the counter, standing directly between him and Nate. You wiggled your head, saying no. But Fez turned his stare on Nate. - "Ya fuckin' tried somethin' on her? Huh?" - Fez was ready to strangle Nate at the very moment.

"Calm down, Fezco. You know that you shouldn't play with big, smart boys, right?" - Nate chuckled, ready to leave - but just as he was passing you and Fez, with you holding Fezco's chest with your palms, Fezco's palm tightened around Nate's wrist so much that Fez's knuckles became white.

"I'll tell ya just like dat. Ya try somethin' on ma girl, on Rue or her friends and I'll find ya and I'll kill ya. Ya understand?" - Fezco said slowly with a cold voice. Nate just breathed out loudly, looking from his wrist to Fezco's face, dead in the eye.

"We're having this conversation again?" - You looked from Nate Fez, moving your hands from his chest to his waist and hip to move him closer to you, so you weren't so unsure about Fezco fucking up Nate in an instance. - "You're an idiot who has two functioning brain cells. One of them makes you able to roll a joint and the second one makes your dick hard. You shouldn't be playing with boys who are better for the ladies than you are."

"Okay, Nate. I think it's time to leave." - Kat stood up from the corner and you felt as Fezco's body tensed under your hands.

"You should go. We don't want any problems here." - You gently grabbed Fezco's palm and took it out of Nate's wrist, gently and slowly entwining your fingers with his.

"You're both losers. Have it your way." - Nate chuckled and then finally left the shop. Fezco was watching him walking to his car, but you gazed into his eyes with a smile full of love.

"Hey, big guy." - You whispered to gain his attention. It worked only partially - you could feel the grip on your fingers is still tight.

"Hey." - He mumbled quietly, leaning forward to kiss you. The kisses were sweet. Fezco was a good kisser. Even though other boys kissed you, every time he kissed you, you were left with a slight 'aw' on your lips, wishing he would kiss you again immediately.

"Did you mean it? Huh?" - You teased him a bit, but you knew that he's lost in what you mean. - "Your girl. I am your girl? I think you forgot to tell me."

"I said dat?" - He wondered with a slight smile. You nodded, circling your elbows around the back of his neck tightly. - "Then dat's da true, I guess. I dunno."

"You don't know? Show me then, I'll tell you." - Your fingers slowly ghosted under his neck, grabbed the upper hem of his shirt and circled around it to lower his lips to yours.

You already acted girlfriend-boyfriend way around your friends like Rue or for example Ash, so you knew that the actions won't be too different - a lot of kissing, making Fez secretly come to your chilling Netflix nights to cuddle you a bit, some sweet texts ending with hearts, a lot of sweet stuff.

Fezco maybe wasn't the smartest, he truly wasn't, he was doing a lot of grammatic errors and sometimes you didn't even know what he was trying to say. But he always put you in the first place, even when he wasn't in the best mood or wasn't really feeling it, he never was mean or ugly to you.

Never fucking ever he said anything mean to you. He could just sometimes space out completely. That was really Fezco like, not being bad to others.

But this was about the official state of your love and romantic life. Until that moment you were simply single. Just you. But from that moment, it was you and him, now officially together. Everyone will know about you the next week, again. Everybody will talk about it the next two days again.

"Are ya ready for dat cinema, or what?" - The miss stopped all of a sudden, which made you open up your eyes again. You slowly looked around and saw that Kat and Ash ignored for at least the five last minutes.

"Yeah, I think we should go." - You walked in a dancing way to the counter, taking your bag and your soda from Ash.

"Y'all be watchin' everythin' while I'm gone, ya understand?" - Fez pointed his finger in Ashtray's direction and the small boy, still chewing on a piece of wood. Ash rolled his eyes and nodded. Fez was really the pain in the ass sometimes, especially when he was leaving his shop by your side and gave Ash the instructions.

"We should be on our way or we'll not make it on time. Come on. Ash can it himself." - You winked at Ash, taking Fezco's shoulder to your hand. - "Plus, he's got Kat here. They can make it until the closing hours, which is like... Two hours from now. Come." - You took his hand because you had the feeling that you actually can, and entwined fingers with him tightly. His blue eyes were still cautiously watching Ash, but this time, he was smiling at the little boy.

"See ya at home, pal." - Fezco nodded to Ash and winked at him as he leads you out of the store. You and Fez tried to talk a lot, but to you, you rarely talked about the important stuff.

You truly didn't know what to do about that - you refused to make him talk. That wasn't your style. You wanted him to talk about his secrets. Who was Ash? How did the two get together? What was at the back of his damn flat that you weren't allowed to go there? He still didn't tell you what he was doing for a living - yeah, he and Ash worked in a store, but you weren't exactly dumb and you knew that a little something isn't completely adding up.

There was a lot Fez didn't tell you not ever asked you about. He actually never asked you about your hometown, never acknowledged you had a sis or asked you about your family.

But you hoped that being different from that moment. That was something new for the both of you, you were nervous to figure it out. Or at least you hoped that he officially thinks about all of it the same way you did.

The evening was gone before you actually could enjoy it, just like everyone you could spend along Fezco. As always, he took you home in his car and parked a block away from your house. You sat in the car for the next five minutes in complete silence, because you already finished your rant about the movie ten minutes ago and Fez was only grinning on the ground in front of the car.

"Do you want to go already?" - You whispered and undid your seatbelt and took his hand in the dark, quiet car. His second hand was playing with a joint as he watched the lamps in front of the car.

"Ya know I don't wanna. Need to tho, baby." - He pressed his fingers around your hand holding his.

"I want to cuddle with you today. You know. To make it special at least a little bit, nothing too big but..." - You started in a quiet, somehow flat tone of your voice but Fezco somehow felt you're begging him in the most gentle way you could.

"It ain't much but it's all to ya, huh?" - You felt as his eyes watched the profile of your face with a gentle smile on your lips. You nodded. But Fezco chuckled in response. - "Think we don't have enough space up 'ere."

"Maybe we can try slight trespassing tonight?" - You felt more courageous than before. He was same in acts, but thoughts had suddenly and strangely deeper meaning for you. You wanted to touch him and kiss him, but you wanted to know him better as well.

One thing you've needed to say was... That you and your natures got along pretty well. You were capable of doing hundreds of jokes, smile the whole night. Those bullshit talks? You two were the ideal couple for that. But you were more afraid and curious about those deep, late-night conversations with him.

"Like..."

"Like you could crawl in through my window and just... Stay with me for a bit? Just for a while, or if you're not feeling this..." - You stuttered a bit and your cheeks reddened. Fezco could feel clearly as your palms got sweatier than before a few secs.

"Calm down, jeez. Okay then. If ya wanna, we'll cuddle. No prob." - He leaned down to kiss you and your heart jumped a bit with happiness.

"So, I'll go home now, greet my parents, lock my door and then see you at the window then?" - You started to get off the car with a bright smile. Fezco just nodded; you gave him more than enough time to have a joint outside the house.

That evening, your mom really wanted to talk. She was making those small-talks, laughing and asking you a million questions. You would love to sit there with her, but you were all nervous about Fez waiting outside for you, so you basically made a home run for it as soon as you could and as soon as you brushed your teeth and changed into some more comfortable home clothes - some tight shorts and the t-shirt he gave you.

Then you let him in, after reassuring that the door is locked.

"Hey, baby boy. You're waiting too long?" - You smiled at him and let him in, all careful and whispering. He crawled into your room without any bigger problem.

"Not too long." - He began to undress out of his hoodie and put his shoes down, watching as your body slowly disappeared under the blanket, inviting him next to you. Fezco smelled like weed, once again, just as you were used to. It felt natural to close your eyes, put your temple on his chest and hug his waist even when it was for the first time you were touching him when you two were... Alone.

"Ya smell so nice, baby. Need to smell ya more often." - Fezco hugged you firmly, shoving his nose right into the waves of your hair.

"I hope you will." - You giggled quietly. - "So, if you want us to be a couple?" - You got your head up and looked him to the face before you continued.

"Yeah. I guess so." - He closed his eyes while you drew some circles on his hips and ribs.

"I want to know you better. We'll start simply. Like... What do you even like? I know you just like the boy I like, but not here." - You pointed a finger at his heart. Your eyes appeared big and warm, which made him talk.

"Dat's what ya curious about? Alrite, I like when the weather is, ya know, a bit cold, but the wind is like all warm and shit. And to have my bros around. And spendin' some time with them. And I like dat chocolate candy with those nuts inside." - Fez whispered in his calming, deep voice. It radiated through his chest so much it made you close your eyes and drifting away. It also took a whole ass of time before he was finished. - "And I like ma girl a lot, but dat's kinda obvious."

"You're so sweet, baby." - You hummed in a half-asleep voice and hugged him tighter.

You didn't even notice when he left at eleven p.m., because he let you snuggle into his hoodie while he closed your window so you didn't feel cold at night.

It was a big step for Fez, even tho he was stoned, he felt that he's so nervous bevause of you. To pronounce you as his girlfriend was a thing he was really excited about, but also one which scared him to death. He knew that his responsibility around you will be enormous, just like the happiness you will be, and already have, bringing him. He wasn't meeting the best people and he saw how much it harmed Rue, and his girl couldn't end up the same.

You had a big heart of gold, mind much brighter than his, you were lovely and pure; so he felt the need to spare you from that dark side of him until he won't be able to hide it anymore. You deserved to be protected.

But at that moment, he just realized that you're a person he's glad to be around with. And that's what mattered in the end.

#fezco x reader #fezco euphoria #fezco imagine #fezco hbo #fezco #kat #ashtray euphoria #nate jacobs euphoria #euphoria hbo #mount everest ain't got shit on us

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rafivadafreddy · 4 years

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Pretty Little Psycho

A Nevada Ramirez and Nettie Perez Story. Part One.

Summery: Nettie is a girl with a horrible past. After her aunt left her house in her name, Nettie moves to Washington Heights. There she is able to stay low and not get noticed by many people. Until one night Nevada comes into the shop she works to leave a shipment in the back. (Yes another OFC. Only cause I can’t write fics with y/n. I need description! so.. sorry.)

Word Count: 2,019 Warnings: Cursing (surprise!) Panic attack. Talk about drugs. Nevada gets handsy, some spanish in there.

Living in Washington Heights for the past six months had been a nice experience so far. Her last living relative passed away and left a small home for Nettie. One by one, death came for her family members until she was the last one standing. Her grandparents died from natural causes, at least that’s what she was told when younger. Her father was shot, right in front of Little Nettie at the time. She was only 10 years old. Her mother died a few years later, Nettie had been 17, being used as a rag doll most of the time for her mother’s pimps whenever they were over. So, when she came home and saw her mother with a needle in her arm and not moving. Her pimp nowhere to be found, not that that surprised Nettie. She could only guess what had happened. By the time the paramedics arrived. Nettie already knew her mother was gone. Something Nettie felt no remorse over. Living with her mother meant living in a home filled with men, drugs and alcohol. Nettie being smacked around and used as they pleased. Nettie could only think ‘good riddance’ after the funeral.

The only living family left was an aunt who lived in Washington Heights. Nettie lived with the crazy old bat until she went off to college. Getting her degree in dance and fine arts. Taking up self-defense classes as well, needing to protect herself. Nettie could barely go near men without freaking out the slightest. When she graduated, her aunt died and left her house to Nettie. It was paid for and all Nettie would have to do is keep up with the bills.

So, with a heavy heart, the 25-year-old girl headed back a neighborhood in the northern part of Manhattan; Washington Heights. Not that she wanted that, but Nettie figured she would live in the house and work until she could get enough money to leave New York behind and never return.

Even with her degree, Washington Heights didn’t give her lots of options for jobs, meaning that Nettie had to accept whatever crap job that would accept her. Beggars couldn’t be choosers, right? With nothing to her name but student loans, Nettie accepted a job at a coffee shop where she learned how to brew the perfect coffee and even bake. The owners were a kind older couple who always spoke to Nettie about their grandchildren and children who lived all the way in Miami.

Life was going nicely for the girl she kept her head down and didn’t cause trouble. She never went out, didn’t bother to go to the clubs. If she wanted to drink, she would buy her liquor from the store and drink at home. Nettie wasn’t known to anyone, except those who came by the café and were regulars. Then they knew her name. Just the first, she never dared give out her last name. It was a curse after all.

It was late one night, being asked to close the shop, Nettie assured Camila and Dalvin that she would be alright.

“There are some supplies coming in tonight. Just… let them take the things out back. Okay? Don’t ask questions.” Dalvin told Nettie who was confused but nodded.

“You got it boss, I won’t ask, even if that sounds super suspicious.” She smiled and assured the two she’ll be fine.

They had left since Camila had been feeling some pain in her knees and since Dalvin was the only one around to help his wife. They left and Nettie continued to clean up. Having some pastries as she cleaned. Glad that everything was freshly made and so they wouldn’t mind her eating.

Putting on music, hooking her phone to the stereo and playing her dance playlist. Nettie grinned as Daddy Yankee started to play. Nettie grabbed the broom and danced along to Gasolina, singing along and just getting lost in the music.

“Ella prende la turbina No discrimina No se pierde ni un party de marquesina Se acicala va pa la esquina Luce también que hasta la sombra le combina Asesina, me domina Janguea en carro, motora, y limusina Llena su tanque de adrenalina Cuando escucha Reggaetón en la cocina”

As she danced along with the broom as her partner, doing a simple Merengue step dance. Nettie never heard the door open and people entering the café. To her, she had locked the doors, so she had nothing to worry about. By the time the song was over, and it changed to Shakira’s Hips Don’t Lie. Nettie let out a yelp when someone started to clap.

“Who the fuck are you, puto and how did you get in here?” she demanded, gripping the broom in her hand. Ready to use it as a weapon.

“Now cariño, that’s not very nice of you to say hum… I would hate for something to happen to this…. Cute little place.” The guy in the middle who wore all black said.

That caused Nettie to pale, she looked at the men and took a step back. “I’m sorry… please, just do what you need. I won’t get in your way.” She assured them and quickly went over to turn off her music. Only to be told to keep it on. Leaving it, Nettie took a deep breath before returning to work. Sweeping the floors and starting to wipe down the tables and counters.

“So mami… who are you and why have I never seen you before?” the same man from before asked as he stepped closer to her. Nettie glad she was on the other side of the counter.

“First of all, with all due respect. I’m not your ‘mami’ so stop that.” She eyed him before licking her lips. “My name is Nettie. I mainly stay at home… and to myself.” She added, decided to humor him since she didn’t want anything to happen to the café.

Excusing herself, she quickly returned to her cleaning and grabbed the garbage bags to take out back to the dumpster. It was when she was outside, lifting the bags up did she feel a hand on her shoulder. A masculine hand at that.

Dropping the bag, grabbing the unknown hand and turning around quickly, twisting the man’s arm around harshly and pushing him against the building brick wall.

“AH YOU CRAZY PUTA! LET ME GO! NEVADA!” the guy yelled out, undoubtedly in pain. The way she held his twisted arm behind his back, Nettie was sure to press down on the pressure point in his hand.

When the back door opened again and the man in black came out with his henchmen. They stared with wide eyes. “Nettie… can you let go of Jose… I sent him out here to help you with the trash bags. Not to get attacked.” The guy she had talked to before had spoken.

“Well, next time. Tell him not to sneak up on a girl!” she said through gritted teeth and let the guys arm go and took a step back. Breathing heavily, Nettie blinked a few times before rolling her eyes. Going back to the trash bags, she threw them into the dumpster.

“Look, do your business. Let me do mine. I don’t need any help.” She eyed the four of them and pushed past to get back inside.

Letting out a breath of air that Nettie didn’t even realize she was holding. She went back to the front of the shore and rubbed at her forehead.

“Mira aquí mami… i don’t know who the fuck you think you are. But what you just pulled? Not fucking cool.” The guy in black said as he came over to where Nettie was seated.

“Yeah well, I’m not here to please you. Sorry, I’m here to work and get my paycheck.” She mumbled and hissed at the pain in her head. Grabbing her purse, Nettie quickly grabbed a bottle of Advil and took one, drowning down the pill with the water in her water bottle.

“Jefe! All done.” The guy she had attacked called out, narrowing his eyes at Nettie who glared back.

“Great! Goodbye, see you next time you decide to do whatever it is you did. Have a nice night!” Nettie jumped up and grabbed the keys to the café and her things.

“I’m going to give you a warning this time, mami because I happen to like Dalvin and Camila… Next time you treat us so poorly, well you’re going to regret messing with Trujillo”

Staring at him, confused. Nettie opened her mouth to say something but shut it. Only to repeat the process a few times. “I- I’m sorry, did you just refer yourself to Trujillo? Rafael Trujillo? Please tell me you didn’t and that’s your name.” she bit down on her lip. Knowing she was probably messing with the wrong people, but Nettie did not have a filter for her mouth. It was probably why her father was killed. Mouthed off the wrong people.

By the looks of the guys henchmen, Nettie knew she was playing with fire.

“Do you have a death wish you crazy puta?” he snapped, stepping closer to her and Nettie visibly tensed up. “Now… the next time we run into each other. I expect you to have better manners… Me entiendes mami?” he spoke lowly as his hand reached up and wrapped themselves around her neck, gripping at the soft skin as he glazed into her eyes.

“Sí… entiendo.” She found herself mumbling as her heart raced in her chest. Her breathing became harder and she was trying not to gasp for air in front of this man. Her chest ached something awful and Nettie didn’t even realize she was crying until the man backed away and stared at her in shock.

Backing away and wrapping her arms around herself, Nettie slid down the wall she found herself up against and she tried to calm down but that just seemed to make it worse. Nettie felt like she was going to be sick and could barely focus on what was going on around her. Her nails digging into her skin and soon someone was in front of her.

“Okay chica… listen to me. You gotta control your breathing.” A voice she didn’t recognize spoke to her. “Come on… breath with me. In. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Now out. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5…” he felt doing that while holding her hands until Nettie finally got her breathing back to normal.

“I’m sorry…” she whispered. “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to…” but she could hardly get a sentence out.

“No, none of that.” The man shook his head and quickly got up and grabbed a chocolate from the counter. “Come on. Eat this and you’ll be fine.” He smiled before glancing over at his boss. “My nephew has panic attacks all the time.” He explained and the guy just groaned.

“Fuck…” he mumbled and nodded to her. “Grab her things and let’s get out of here. We’ll drop her home.” He turned on his heel and walked out.

Nettie allowed the guy to help her up and grabbing her bag, they walked out of the shop. Miguel, she leaned was who helped her. He locked up the café and assisted Nettie into the black escalade. Once telling them her address, she closed her eyes and just waited to get home.

“Gracias, I’ll… I’ll make sure to respect you next time Trujillo.” Nettie said in a soft voice as the car was pulling up to her home fifteen minutes later.

“Nevada…” he sighed as he watched her get out. “My name is Nevada Ramirez. Just watch your mouth next time.” He said simply, looking forward again.

Nettie just bit her lip and nodded before bidding them goodnight and walking up to the house and letting herself in. Hearing the car drive off after she locked the door, Nettie dragged her feet to her room and passed out on top of the covers. Never realizing she had left her bag on the floor of the black escalade.

Tagging- @the-baby-bookworm

Kinda not sure how long this will be. Probably just 5 parts with how I have my ideas written out. I hope you enjoyed. Heart and Re-blog

#nevada ramirez #nevada ramirez fanfiction #nevada ramirez fanfic #nevada ramirez x reader #nevada ramirez x you #nevada ramirez x oc #nevada ramirez smut #nevada ramirez fic #raul esparza #rafael barba #rafael barba fanfic #raul esparza fanfic #raul esparza fanfiction

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bigdanteague3 · 3 years

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I was just going to sit back and wait for you to tell a story before I did anything else. A little tit for tat lol. But I have time so I thought I’d continue the Amber story. The short, curvy virgin cheerleader who dry humped me in the bathroom and titty fucked me through her tee shirt. We had just gotten to the part where she broke her leg and our after school groping sessions had ended because she didn’t stay for cheer practice anymore.

She came back to school a few days later on crutches. Hobbling down the halls. In Spanish class, I told her I would miss seeing her after school. She told me we should study together after school. That her mom didn’t get home until 5:30. And she was home alone every afternoon for 2.5 hours. I smiled and asked if we could study that afternoon. She said she really needed to study for the upcoming test....but to wait until 3:30 to give her time to clean up the house. I told her I wouldn’t be late. She had another girl who picked her up and took her home from school since she couldn’t drive. I saw them leave from parking lot together and waited 10 minutes before leaving. I stopped and bought gum and killed a little time. I passed the house at 3:25 and there was no signs of life. I came back at 3:29 and parked. Knocked on door.....no answer. I knew it was the right house. I knocked again. I turned the door and it was unlocked. Walked in and it was so quiet I could hear the fridge running. Hello? Hello? Definitely her house because I see her picture above the television.

Walk down the hallway and look in bedroom one. Nothing, not even a bed. Two more bedrooms at end of hall. Check the one on right...and yes. This is it.

Amber is sitting on the bed, feet on the floor, waiting for me. She was just wearing a black bra and black panties. And the big blue cast. I just stood there for a minute. She smiled. I smiled. Her boobs were about to bust out of that bra. I don’t remember saying anything...almost positive I didn’t. I walked the 5 steps to her bed and kneeled in front of her. We just kissed for a while. My hands up and down her back. Kissing her neck. Kissing her chest....I start unhooking the bra and I pull back to watch it come off and to see those titties spill out. I squeezed them together and licked and sucked. She’s enjoying it. I lift her ass up off the bed enough to slip her panties down a little. Left them on the floor. Everything before now had been in complete darkness so this was the first time we could see anything. She had trimmed her hair down real short and I ran my fingers over it. Gently probing her pussy...didn’t just want to jam a finger in there. Slid it in real slow...she was dripping wet. I start kissing her again as I finger her slowly. She’s moaning.....I ask her if it feels good. She nods yes and starts trying to take my shirt off. So I pull my finger out of that tight little pussy and let her. My shirt comes off. I stand up so my waist is in her face. I want her to take the pants off herself. She works the button, pulls the zipper and yanks them down. Now my boxers are the only thing left. I’m waiting for her to set me free. She puts both hands and pulls them down slowly....my dick was so hard...the boxers forced it down as she pulled. Her eyes watching as more and more was exposed. When they finally cleared the head, my dick popped back up and bounced. She giggled and stroked me.

There was a stereo next to the bed....she leaned over and pushed play and Red Light Special by TLC started playing. She’s touching me and I slip a finger back inside her. Her hands were soft. I ask her if she’s ready....and she wordlessly slides back on the bed.....gets in the center and spreads wide. I follow her and take one last look at her spread eagle...inviting me to fuck her. With that big cast I knew we wouldn’t have a variety of positions...so I got on my knees and put the head of my cock right on her pussy lips. I didn’t go in yet. I just rubbed around the outside. Savoring that last second. Leaning forward so I’m more over her.....I slip just the head inside and kiss her. I wanted my mouth on hers as I filled her little pussy up. Inch by inch by inch....I feel her pussy wrapped tight around me...when I’m as far as I can go...I ask her if she’s ok. She just tells me to go slow.

So I fuck her slow. When I pull back I make sure to just leave the head inside, then I lower back inside her. Again and again...I don’t know what song was playing by now but I could hear her start to pant a little over the music....so I knew everything was good so far. I felt like with her eagerness I might be able to slip a little dirty talk in there....as I’m still fucking her slowly and gently. But very deeply.......I push all the way inside her...buried inside her balls deep...I hold it here and kiss her. I asked her if she liked it? Yes. It feels good inside you? Yes. Do you like my dick inside you? Yes.

As I pull back she grabs my hips and starts showing me how fast to go. Just a steady rocking. I’m not pounding away.......I tell her how good she feels. I tell her how good she looks. She’s moaning now....just a steady noise. It seemed pretty authentic...not a performance. She’s grabbing my ass and pulling me in and pushing me out. She tells me not to cum inside her....I promise her I won’t. She said, “I want to see you cum”........This pushes me closer to the edge, I’m driving deep on every stroke...giving her everything I have. I’m watching her big titties jiggle every time I go in. Her moaning has gotten louder and there’s an occasional fuck me thrown in.

I tell her I’m getting ready to cum soon...can’t last much longer. I didn’t ask her...I just told her that I wanted to cum on her titties. I pull out and get above her...so my knees are on each side of her waist. I squat a little so that my balls and ass are basically on her stomach.....I’m stroking it for her while she watches with a lot of interest. I tell her to hold her tits together....she’s a good girl and does as she’s told.......as I feel myself start to pop I lean into them and just fucking unload. A couple of big streams come out and land right on her boobs.....several smaller streams and drops fly everywhere. Her chest, her neck, her cheek, her bed. It was a mess. But she loved it. She was still holding her boobs together and looking down at the cum. I was still stroking a little and wondered how she would react if I smeared the cum around on her with my dick. I put the head right on her nipples and smeared it around a little. She loved it. She had like 2 big drops on her chin but I kissed her anyway and laid down beside her. It was only a little after 4 so no need to rush home.

I laid beside her and caught my breath...we kissed and she rubbed my dick and balls. Apparently she wanted more? I wasn’t in a hurry to leave...so I laid there and enjoyed the attention. She’s fondling me and rubbing my balls with one hand and my dick with the other. She tries to roll over and get in position to suck on me but it was hard with the cast and the pain. Any weight was uncomfortable. So I told her I could help if she wanted to me to. She told me she wanted to suck it but couldn’t get there.

I got her on her back again and straddled her again. This time right below her neck. I was already getting hard again, but not all the way yet. I just laid it on her lips and let her do what she wanted. She opened her mouth and it just fell in. I fed it to her nice and slow. She was propped up a little on the pillows...her mouth wide open. Tasting her own pussy and my cum....it didn’t take long for me to get fully hard again. My dick is in her mouth and she’s trying her best...I tell her to get it really clean for me....so she’s licking and sucking and she’s rubbing my balls with her hands...

You want me to fuck you again? I asked her while she had about 4 inches of throbbing dick on her tongue. She nods yes. Mumbles the word yes as best she can.....so I pull out of her mouth and go down. Before fucking her I wanted to taste her...so I lean down and slide my tongue inside....still wet....I swirl a few times and spread her legs out wide i tell her how good she looked.....saw her cute little ass....I lick her pussy for a minute before starting round 2.

Round 2 was a lot like first round. I fucked her deep....I gave her a little more dirty talk.....she was returning it....telling me how good her pussy felt....I liked it when she’d tell me how much she liked my dick, it was flattering....we fucked a little harder. More firmly I guess.....I thought it was super fucking hot that her titties, neck and chin were still covered in cum.....she was groaning, moaning, grabbing my ass and holding me deep inside her.....’I like it right here’ she said. I’m rocking inside her slowly....she’s rubbing my ass...her tiny hands squeezing me....round 2 lasted a little longer. But not much. With her talking dirty and the titties jiggling and her pussy being so wet and me being able to still taste it on my lips.....it was hard to hold back. She was really starting to relax and open up.....all smiles and kisses...I’d kiss her every few minutes...my tongue inside her mouth as she grabs my ass and tells me to ‘give me your dick’......she moans and tells me she wants me to cum in her mouth.....I tell her I’m close

When I pull out I almost cum too soon....so I hurry and get close to her mouth. She opens her mouth up wide and I put the head right on her. I kinda hoped she meant to suck me off but there was barely any time. I stroked it once and busted on her lips and tongue. There was still a lot considering this was the second load I had given her. She was eager for it too. She swallowed every drop and licked my dick clean again.

I didn’t care that she had just swallowed a mouthful of my cum...that she had it all over her face....I wanted to kiss her. I held her arms down on the bed above her head and kissed her. I didn’t really taste anything....when we stopped kissing I looked at her and remembered how she looked when I came in. Hair all perfect...bra and panties and looking nice. She was a virgin then. Now I looked down at her completely naked and sprawled out on the bed...covered in 2 huge loads of cum drying on her body. She had been fucked and she liked it.

We fucked non-stop for about a year. She never wanted to be official. She was happy just getting my dick in her regularly. Should I have officially dated her? Like to movies? In hindsight, maybe? I didn’t want to disrespect her but I’m not positive she wanted more. And this beginning part was at the end of a miserable relationship and I wasn’t eager to just jump into another serious thing. We would hang out all the time, fuck hard and that was good enough for her. I guess. People knew, it wasn’t a secret. As far as I know she didn’t fuck anybody else during that year. I did. After this first encounter, she was 100% enthusiastic...lapdances, loved cum, sex in lots of different places, she got good at blowjobs....I’ll give you brief updates in the future on some of the things we did.

She was a good girl who was always eager to please. Like a good girl should. None of the things were as hot as what you did to me. You are always to gold standard. Just thought you may want to hear some other stories. Try to give me a story pretty soon....one about me, maybe? Tit for tat?

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rainey-staerie-daize · 3 years

Text

A multi-day journal entry because it’s been a few: 03.10.21

Went for a nice walk around the neighborhood on Saturday because I felt like being outside and not at home. Found out where exactly Xan’s school is and how to get to it because I may or may not have to drop him off if Mom is scheduled extra days this month. Passed lots of houses and found out how all the nearby streets connect. Would've taken artsy pics except I forgot to take a phone with me. Met two or three tiny dogs and two big dogs at two different houses, and they all barked at me as I said hello. Oh, and one guy in a truck with tons of oranges in the back asked me if I wanted to buy some, but I declined. COVID-19, no money on me, and I don’t really like oranges all that much anyway because of the texture. Also passed by a house that was for sale with a kitchen sink that faces the front yard. There was a faucet zip-tied in its box in one side of it, and it’s the same faucet we have: Glacier Something, that detaches as a sprayer.

Getting to Xan’s school was kinda rocky for me because I was wearing my bad, thin-soled flats and I didn’t realize that there was a paved path on the other side of the wash until I got to the end at the school. Partway, I went to take off the mask because nobody was around and I needed all my depth perception, but one side broke as I did, so I spent a few minutes awkwardly standing at the end of the path as I retied my mask. Also tied my flannel shut because it’s too small to button, and it looked just a little odd with my AMBITION shirt and leggings.

Being at the school was kinda nostalgic, even though I never attended that specific one. Enough things were the same though: sun-faded signs, bike cage, playground equipment, fenced in area for the kindergarteners, portables in the back, a huge yellow field, clinking chains on the tetherball poles, and the silence of nobody else there but me.

Except, I wasn’t waiting for a parent to pick me up for once. I was there on my own free will. Other things that didn’t match my childhood include the entrance to the playground being nicely framed by four or so trees, a nice round gathering area painted like the sun around the flag pole, “welcome back” spelled out in blue Solo cups shoved into the bike cage fence, and one of the “no parking” signs by the drop-off area being scribbled out so it said “park here.” It was nice, and I yearn to be ten or younger again.

Partway through my little campus tour, it got a little windy, and I briefly thought about going home, but I ultimately decided to keep walking the same direction and circle my way back home. There’s a big dirt lot right next to the field fenced off, and then I could see the intersection that I’ve walked to the other way around before, so I headed over that way. Came across a shopping center with a bunch of stores, and looked at each one as I passed them. Was able to see inside of a dry cleaner place and look at the machines inside, but after the guy at the counter acknowledged my presence like I was a potential customer, I told him I had never seen inside one before and was just taking a walk, and kinda just... quickly walked away. The shopping center also had a Walmart Neighborhood Market, and I spotted a wild dark-haired Karen with no mask, that I felt was way to close to me. Probably three or four feet away, I don’t know. My depth perception sucks.

Rounding about the other end of the shopping center after looking at Panda Express, Denny’s, and a pizza place, I heard a familiar couple of notes come from one of the vehicles in the parking lot. The beginning notes of She’s a Beauty by The Tubes, which I almost never hear play on the radio or anything because it’s from the early 80s. Despite not being born until 2000, I know a few of their songs because my uncle is the bass player and I’ve been to a few of their concerts when I was younger.

So I started singing a bit as I was walking, and as it started getting more faint, I stopped walking, turned around, and cupped my right ear with my hand to keep listening. Pretty sure one guy looked at me like I was crazy, but I didn’t care. After it ended, or at least, I think it did, I continued on my way, the same route I use when I’m returning home from that street’s bus stop.

When I got home, Mom was out cold on her bed after the facial she did earlier. Skye later told me she never even noticed I left because she went straight to bed for an afternoon nap when she was done, never leaving her room.

I finally reset my sleep schedule enough to wake up at 4 AM on Sunday, which is good enough for me because I used to wake up then in high school anyway. I spent a while just waking up on the toilet, and then decided to do some light cleaning and picking up around the house to surprise Mom when she woke up. She never notices, but I didn’t care about that then.

After tidying up Kare’s hair accessories on the counter and finding her toothbrush still with toothpaste on it from the night before, I decided to rinse out her unicorn wash cloth sitting on the counter, and maybe clean up the toothpaste on the counter with it, but then Mom woke up from the couch. I got scared that she’d be mad I was doing stuff in her bathroom, so I snuck out to the other one. Was a little bored waiting for her to be busy with something so I could finish her counter, so I wiped down the counter of the bathroom I was in.

She tried to come in to get laundry, which startled me because I was right next to the door, and immediately spotted the unicorn cloth. She went off on me for using “something that she uses on her FACE” on the counters of all things. Briefly mentioned wiping the toilet, as if she thought that’s what I did before I walked in.

I didn’t even try explaining myself. Just stood there and let her yell. I know I got a little carried away with cleaning stuff, but like, it was soapy. It’s like Mom complaining that I used the dish sponge with antibacterial dish detergent on Roxie’s food bowls. It doesn’t make sense, but I was too tired and down on myself to care about her seeing my side.

During the visit, Skye and I stayed home and talked in our room, and I looked up that house I saw for sale. Not that nice, and currently off the market, but I found two others that I absolutely love. Kinda wish I’d had a job this entire time. Then maybe I could have enough money to put down a down payment and get one of them. Oh well.

Mom came home while the littles were still at the visit, and Skye and I both pretended to be asleep so we didn’t have to interact with her. Some of her behavior has seemed kinda... sus. I ended up falling asleep for real though, on the carpet, woke up briefly a few times, and finally got up at 1 AM.

Mom was still up, and told me how one of my old friends was trying to contact me but couldn’t because my phone was off, so I turned it back on and we talked for a while. I gave her my Google number in case my actual phone wasn’t working, and wished her a happy birthday, but she fell asleep before she saw the birthday message. Don’t remember much else of the day, except I turned in a Japanese quiz early and cleaned Roxie and her crate. Like always, cleaning took a while because I am very thorough, and because she pooped in the crate when I was washing her bowls. I had to rewash her and the crate floor, which, after last time, I now know slides TF out.

Ended it all with a hot bath for myself, which I fell asleep in. Woke up cold because half the water drained out through the faulty plug, so I ran it again, and fell asleep again. Woke up cold again, refilled it, and finally washed myself. Got out and was relieved to find Roxie and her “room” still clean, and I finished it off with her blankets and one of her beds from the dryer. I tried a new thing with the blanket where I tie one end (two corners) to the crate ceiling to almost make a tent, and she seems to like it.

Not counting the bath naps, I stayed up for over 24 hours, but didn’t realize why I was so damn tired until late Tuesday morning. Ended up falling asleep for a couple hours that afternoon, woke up for a while, and then went back to sleep at a decent time time at night, but I was woken up around 2:30 AM by Mom looking for her keys. She was panicking because March has blackout days and she’s already near her point limit, so being late could literally get her fired. She kept asking where I put them, since her purse and dealer apron were moved off of the crate by me to clean it, but I told her I hadn’t even seen them. I don’t think she believed me, because she still sounded like she was blaming me for not being able to find them.

Not my fault that you said “stop putting things on the dog crate,” and then you kept putting your own stuff on top of the dog crate, and then wanted me to clean it. Where the Hell was I supposed to put her stuff while I was cleaning it?

Skye eventually found her keys in the unlocked car, and she finally left, but was back by 4 AM because she signed the EO list. She tried to prank us when she came in by telling us she was fired, but I didn’t buy it because she wasn’t crying. Trust me, she’d be bawling her eyes out if that had actually happened.

Bringing us to Wednesday, I was a tired mess who’d done Duolingo all morning when I showed us to my Japanese lecture. I only remembered to do it because I heard Mom doing it. She’s apparently gonna learn Spanish.

I still have a few things to make up for that class, but at least I’ve finally organized my worksheets into homework packets. I’ve gone this long before remembering we own a stapler.

#Raine's daize #the tubes

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allie1804-fan · 3 years

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Please Assist Me (Chapter 18)

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Ch6apter 10 , Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15 , Chapter 16, Chapter 17

Warnings: Explicit Content

He Said

At last in January of 2021, the schools opened and we felt like there was more every day normal going on. There were a few more restaurants open with outdoor service too so Sophia and I had the occasional lunch out together when he had free time. I was training hard though so I didn’t have much free time which meant we tended to need to stick to Hollywood rather than driving out to the coast off the beaten track and that was our first mistake. Sophia had been my assistant for almost 2 years now so it wasn’t odd for us to be seen together but as there was almost never any other women seen with me, Cheryl alerted me that pictures started appearing in gossip rags, putting 2 and 2 together based on their (correct!) reading of intimate gazes and body language.

She Said

In the new year, a few photos started to come out of me with Keanu online and in gossip rags. The publicity wasn’t hugely invasive and I wasn’t too bothered by it - my family and friends knew the truth so this only really attracted random contact on social media from acquaintances being nosy rather than any real invasion at first.

My first direct experience that the attention was getting invasive came one day at the school pick up. I had noticed a man hovering at a distance from the gates who I was pretty sure wasn’t a parent. My attention was torn away when my kids came out but as I turned to take them to the car, I saw a teacher cautiously approach him and after a brief exchange he turned on his heal and left. That’s when I spotted the camera slung over his shoulder. A couple of days later, pictures of me and the kids were published on-line on a gossip site. The kids’ images were a little blurry but still, I was furious.

He Said

“Fuck!”

I’d just clicked on my phone on a link Sophia had sent to me for a photo news site showing pictures of her and the kids at their school gate. Some low life pap had tracked them down and deemed them newsworthy because of her link to me that had been emerging more and more frequently of late.

I forwarded it to Cheryl and asked her to arrange an urgent call with her and my lawyer to work out an action plan. Then I called Sophia, nervous that I might be in for a tirade of Spanish insults.

“Hun, you OK?”

“No, I’m not OK. Que pendejo insoportable!”

Here we go, I thought!

“who me?!”

“No, no, the photographer, this isn’t your fault!”

“kind of is though isn’t it?”

“No, I won’t let you take the blame – but we have to stop them. The kids need to be kept out of this right?”

“Yeah, I’m waiting to hear back from Cheryl. I asked her to arrange a call with the lawyers. I’ll let you know when they can set it up OK? And I’m sorry, even if you say it isn’t my fault, it wouldn’t be happening if we weren’t in a relationship.”

She sighed.

“We’ll figure it out, OK, I just, I need to keep them safe”

“I know, I know sweetheart”

We managed to issue a cease and desist order on that particular photographer to not take further photographs of the children and put out a general statement asking the press to respect their privacy but that did seem to have the effect of making them more thirsty for pictures of Sophia and I – we were still game. As pictures circulated of us eating out or on bike rides, this apparently spawned a trend of what I understand are called “Trolls” seeking out Sophia on social media to send her hateful messages to ‘leave me alone’ and to stop ‘trying to wheedle her way into my life’ and ‘get her grubby Latino hands on my money’. And, she said, if they didn’t do it directly, there would be comments underneath her photo on fan sites with people expressing their disgust at my choice of romantic partner. On top of that, there was a lot of denial - people saying that Sophia was and could only ever be my PA – just like Janey they said. Good grief the world really had gone to hell - why did who I was dating even matter?

Apparently there were many people being kind and saying it was nice that I’d found love and that she was beautiful, might give me the babies I’d missed out on etc etc but I could see the comments of the trolls weighed on her mind and lodged there far more than anything positive. Eventually I said she should really just follow me into the social media free wilderness. She could keep an active messenger service for group chats with friends and use a cloud service to share photos of the kids with our parents but for her sanity, she needed to drop Facebook, Instagram and Twitter before she went insane!

She Said

I knew I shouldn’t get drawn into looking at what Keanu’s fan base were saying online but the curiosity was hard to control. I actually only started getting drawn in after the trolls started tracking my down and sending me abusive DMs. That made me want to know if there were any positive voices or if these nasty people basically spoke for the whole of his fandom. I found myself wasting so much time going down rabbit holes trying to find out who these people were but there was no way to do that really.

When my general tetchiness finally got too much and Keanu said I should join him in the 1990s and get off social media, I knew he was right but at the same time it was infuriating as I had got so used to using it for sharing news, family photos, jokes etc as well as using all the messenger tools to connect with my friends. After all the isolation of 2020, this new isolation felt like a kick in the teeth but I felt so childish to think that way and didn’t dare say anything to Keanu. Having never been on social media, he just wouldn’t get it! After about a week though, I had to admit I felt better and admitted that his way was probably the sane option – after weeks of anxiety, I finally felt free from the worry of silly people out there who didn’t know us personally having an opinion about whether we ‘should’ be dating.

Happily, we also had a trip to New York to look forward to - Keanu would be starting filming on John Wick 4 and we were heading there as a family with around a week free to enjoy the city together before he would start on set.

The kids were beyond excited to be flying, not ever having done so before. They each had a little pull-along case and we booked first class so we would have as little time as possible milling around in the public spaces at the airport. I was sure there’d be paps about - we couldn’t ban them from taking our photo altogether even though we’d asked for their privacy to be respected so I was desperate to minimise their chances.

When we got to LAX, it was literally minutes after we’d got into the building when a fan approached asking for a photo. Keanu started to try and explain that he was on his down time with his family and would they mind if he didn’t take one today but he hated the crestfallen look on their face and he quickly suggested that we split up and meet up in the lounge. I rummaged through my bag to get his ticket out and handed it to him with a pointed look at the woman before heading off to check in with the kids, not caring that my silent displeasure might make it online somewhere to be used as evidence of what a bitch I was!

We went on through to departures and waited a good half hour before he showed up.

“Hey Keanu why did you take so long” Eva whined.

He chuckled.

“Sorry honey, but I guess it’s because ‘I’m Duke Caboom, Canada’s greatest stuntman’ he boomed, tickling her sides “and sometimes that means people want to say hi and take a photo so it took a while to catch you up.

“Oh OK” she said matter of factly not at all phased by that idea. I guess she knew how excited Julie and Miranda’s kids had been when they zoomed with him when he was in Berlin so it made sense to her even though Toy Story 4 was the only thing she’d ever seen with him in so she had no idea just how truly famous he was!

“You’re too good to them” I said, still a bit put out that we’d already been separated for a while right at the beginning of our trip.

“Yeah, but it never ends well if I’m an ass…. I mean not nice and you’ve got to remember that I’m usually ‘so high’ on a screen and seeing me in real life is exciting …. to them at least” he said cocking an eyebrow at me as if to say that I no longer saw him as special.

“You’re exciting to me too silly!” I said, relenting a bit from my sulk.

He squeezed my hand.

“Don’t worry, I’ll try to give off some ‘stay away’ vibes in New York so we can all hang out like real people.

“I know, I’m being a bitch, I just wanted this to be, you know, normal”

When we arrived in New York, we had a car waiting so were quickly away from the airport and managed to pass through it without being bothered. On the journey, the kids were pressing their faces against the car windows to see the famous sky-scrapers and there was much anticipation of getting to his apartment to see how their bedrooms looked. We’d arranged to have them decorated and bought new duvets and drapes which Keanu’s maid service had taken care of putting up for them. We got take out pizza for the first night and once again I felt safe and cocooned from the outside world of fans and paparazzi.

He Said

It was strange that Sophia and I had been together for not much short of a year before the public interest in me, and its impact on living our lives, really became a pain in the ass and the source of some conflict between us. I had to remind myself that I’d been living this way for about 20 years and had learned to just allow a little extra time in my day for stopping for a photo. It only affected me when I was on my own so I had to learn to see if from her point of view - it was a shock to her system basically. She’d been my PA for 2 years but we had rarely needed to conduct our business in the public eye so she hadn’t even experienced the attention when we weren’t dating – it was all happening in the context of her being my significant other and with the backdrop of the online trolls and the need to protect her kids.

I guess it would have happened much sooner if I hadn’t been away filming for almost 5 months shortly after we started dating so we’d had an extended time of being together but with no-one outside of friends and family knowing. I tried to tell her we should be grateful all this hadn’t started sooner. I’m not sure that was the right thing to say!

My celebrity did have some advantages though and in New York I’d managed to arrange a private tour of the Empire State Building and rink side seats at a Rangers game. Those earned me points but we weren’t so lucky in Central Park. My apartment isn’t far from there so we headed out for a walk one afternoon, ending up in in the Conservatory Garden figuring that this would be a nice place to be by some water but not where most people would be like Bethesda or the model boat pond.

We’d bought some sandwiches on our way (my time to enjoy the pastrami, pickle and Russian salad I so love) and settled on a bench to chill and rest the kids’ legs when I saw a guy across the other side of the pond raising his camera. It was clearly a Pap with a long lens. I’m normally not a hot head but it was such an intrusion to our pleasant afternoon that I handed Sophia my sandwich and marched up to him.

I was striding fast, not caring much that my stance was clearly threatening and some people idling by the pond scuttled out of my way. The Pap, surprisingly stood his ground until I reached him, squaring up to him.

“Just what in the hell do you think you’re doing? We’re just having some private time as a family and you come along determined to ruin it!”

I was yelling and drawing the attention of others by the pond but I didn’t care.

“hey man, you’re fair game” he responded brazenly.

“Yeah that’s right, I, me, I’m fair game, me not them ,now get the hell out of here”

He was a short weasel of a guy and I was towering above him. He soon thought better of trying to take a picture and scurried away. A woman a few feet away spontaneously clapped!

“Good for you Keanu” she said.

I blushed, coming down suddenly from the adrenaline of the confrontation. It has been a long time since I’d even spoken to a Pap. I usually just ignored them, occasionally putting my hand in front of my face to ruin the shot. It generally wasn’t worth antagonising them but this dude had pushed it too far.

I thanked her and returned to the bench. Sophia handed me back my sandwich while the kids eagerly asked why I’d been shouting at the man. I explained as best I could and I think they were grateful that I just wanted their mom and them to enjoy their time without strangers photographing them.

A couple of days later, Cheryl let me know that the guy made a claim on-line that I’d assaulted him – no actual legal claim was made, I guess because he knew it was bullshit. That was quickly proven when people quickly came forward that they had witnessed it and no such thing had happened. I wondered if the lady clapping was one of them.

She Said

After the Central Park incident, I was so proud of how Keanu had stood up to the paparazzo but we still made a decision to do most of the tourist things without him after that. I couldn’t see us being in Time Square, The Lego Store or the M&M store with him alongside us comfortably. And that was strange and a little sad for me to be back to the single parent feeling, having experienced some very cherished family days.

Our time to go home was fast approaching and I was keen to get one day just for the two of us. Luckily I have a cousin in New York who wanted to spend time with the kids and they offered to take them on the boat trip to the Statue of Liberty for the day. We made the kids breakfast and handed them over to my cousin with backpacks, ready for their adventure.

We just had coffee ourselves as we were planning on a brunch out for ourselves later after some us time between the sheets!

The minute the door was shut, Keanu was pulling me by the hand back to bed.

We quickly shed our pjs, climbed under the covers and started to kiss

Keanu soon reached down and started to gently tease my folds. I moaned into his mouth thrusting myself against his fingers.

A thought came to me and I pulled back and asked

“Can we um, try something today ?”

“Mmmm - what?”

“Well you know your movie, Siberia? “

He nodded

“Well, I watched it while you were away and, um that thing with your thumb ....”

“Oh you want that do you?” - a wicked grin spread across his face

“Well we can try that lots of ways ….. so, we can try that from behind. Get on all fours for me”

I obliged and I felt him slip his stiff cock into me, my folds parting with a pop. He was moving very slowly, then after a few thrusts as I was moaning softly, I felt his wet fingers reach around to gently tease my clit. He did it just enough to make me moan louder but not enough to make me cum. Then he pulled out leaving me bereft

“What?” I cried out

Then he rolled over on his back and pulled me onto him.

“And then there’s lady on top”

I happily sank down on his cock and started to ride him. I was groaning but at the same time I could hear my voice quavering as I neared orgasm once more. He licked his thumb, this time, re-enacting the Siberia moment making me throw my head back in pleasure. I was about to lift off, my voice raised in pitch but again he stopped me before I could, holding my hips to stop my movement.

The he flipped me over onto my back and straddled me, making me wait a few moments as he played with my breasts and smoothed his hands down my sides .

“And finally we can try man on top”

“Will you do that thing ?” I asked

“What the thumb ?”

“No, well yes, but first the thing where you lift me onto you”

“Oh like our first time?”

I nodded, glad he remembered.

He obliged lifting me onto him, pulling me up, ensheathing him slowly so I could feel every vein of his rigid cock and he could feel every ridge of my tunnel.

I was wailing by now each time he pulled me up then released me – I could feel his cock getting even harder when he asked simply

“Ready?”

I just whimpered and nodded my agreement.

He Said

I was so close to coming, I needed to really focus to give her everything she deserved.

I manoeuvred her fully onto her back and encouraged her to lift her legs up over my shoulders.

This allowed me maximum access to thrust in all the way to her cervix and pump in and out.

I could already feel the beginnings of her orgasm, her pussy pulsating around me. It was as if she was a beautiful flower, attracting me with her petals then sucking me in, holding me there in a vice like grip to take what she needed from me. It was primal and all encompassing

As I felt the ripples get more intense, I managed to balance on my left hand and free my right hand, lick my thumb and circle it over her clit.

That was it, it was all over for both of us. She clamped around me, her legs quivering and I shot my hot load inside shouting out as she screamed “yes, yes oh god, yes”

My thrusts gradually slowed, I was still moaning and fighting to catch my breath. I eased her legs down and lay on her just holding my weight off her by resting on my elbows. I gave her a sloppy kiss before easing off her onto my back. I still couldn’t speak. and just squeezed her hand. Tears leaked out of my eyes and I gulped, looking across, I found her in a similar emotional state.

“Wow that was - god I don’t think I’ve ever, ever come so hard”

“Me neither - love you so much Mr Reeves”

“Why do you always call me that after really great sex?”

“Dunno” she chuckled “maybe to give you the respect you deserve for making love to me so, so ….”

“What?”

“So masterfully, so beautifully”

“Mmmmmmm”

“Let’s have a snooze before brunch yeah?”

“Mmmm”

I think she was almost asleep already as she turned away and I spooned behind her, holding her warm breast in the palm of my hand.

@fortheloveoffanfic @kindainlovewithk’eanu @omg-imagine @iworshipkeanureeves @fics-not-tragedies @ficsnroses @keanureevesisbae @penwieldingdreamer @witty-wallflower @paperplanesandwallflowers @bitchyslut99 @ladyreapermc @toomanystoriessolittletime @fanficsrusz @keanuficfiles @bitchyslut99

#keanu reeves fanfic #keanu reeves fanfiction #keanu #keanu reeves #romance with boss

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nachohypno · 4 years

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William and the demon Ch.4 - We had a deal

I woke up hours later. It was nighttime already. I noticed I was laying on my bed. If I was lucky, it was all a dream, and the angel never appeared.

Again, I was wrong. Am I going to be right at, I don’t know, at least one time during this whole ordeal?

The guy was sitting at the side of my bed, he had a plate of sandwiches in his lap, and was staring at me. “Hey, sorry for before. You missed dinner, but I made your family think you went down to eat so they wouldn’t get worried. I couldn’t wake you up before, so I made you some sandwiches myself” Said Adam, handing me the plate.

“Thanks” I mumbled, and started eating. I was really hungry, and it helped me to stop thinking about demons and angels and whatever supernatural stuff existed out there.

“Not a problem. Would you like to talk about the demon… or you’ll pass out again? Sorry, human behavior is new for me. I’m new at this job” He said once again. He seemed a bit nervous, but he regained his blank expression after a moment.

“What-” I gave another bite to the sandwich, it was really good. “What would you like to know?”

“I already know the basic stuff; I’ve tried to observe from a safe distance. I noticed he has some interest in you but couldn’t find out why. And also he had some interest in turning your friends in… what seemed weird versions of themselves. I was hoping you could enlighten me a bit” He never dropped his formal way of speaking, and it was kind of unnerving, but I could live with that.

I nodded and finished eating, putting the plate on my desk and sitting back at my bed. “I don’t know. He seems to have some trouble using his powers on me, and keeps trying out with my friends. MY FRIENDS!” I remembered. I had to call Harry and see if he’s alright! I grabbed my phone, but noticed the time.

“2 a.m.” I sighed, and left the phone “It’s way too late now”

“For what?” asked the guy, a bit concerned.

“Uhm, this demon, Kevin. He failed a few times when trying to use his powers on me. So, he said he would pay a visit to my best friend. I’m afraid he might try to change him like he changed the other ones”

He remained silent. I assumed he didn’t know what to say, due to his lack of human interaction. “Look, I can help you with your demon problem. But it may be a bit risky”

“Risky? No thanks, I can handle this on my own. I’ve had enough risk accepting that demon in my life. And now, my best friends are totally different persons. I’ve had enough of you, supernatural beings, sticking around me. So, if you please leave, I would appreciate it a lot.”

He frowned at me. “Fine, but first could you give me a bit of your DNA? I would like to look further into this demon-blocking power you say you have, it may be useful if you change your mind”

I grabbed the empty plate from the desk and spat on it. “It’s that enough?”

He nodded “actually, it’s perfect. Thanks you so much, young man!” He grabbed the plate and walked to the window.

I grabbed his shoulder. “Use the door, everyone is asleep. You won’t raise suspicion” The angel nodded and walked in the other direction, leaving my room. I sighed and went back to bed. I had to sort everything out with Kevin tomorrow, or let that angel guy help me out. Either way, I still had time to fix things. Right?

---

I arrived once again at the same spot where my friends used to get together. Only Anthony was present today. Derek refused to come to school or something like that. I looked around for Harry, but he was nowhere to be found. It was too late already.

Until the jocks entered.

There he was, my best friend was a jock now. But his transformation was a lot more noticeable than the other two. He was the only one who got bigger with it. A few inches taller, and more muscled than before.

My former best friend was wearing the school’s varsity jacket and chatting with the other jocks. When he passed near me, I tried to call for him. It worked, but he didn’t stop to talk, he just winked at me, which made me really uncomfortable.

I had to find Kevin ASAP and fix this mess.

He appeared behind the jocks and walked directly to me. “See what I did? He looks a lot better than before! I don’t mean to brag but I think it’s the best work I’ve ever done”

“This is NOT funny; why do you keep turning my friends into these… these stereotypes?”

“Oh, don’t be like that. They love it! Don’t you love being a preppy boy, Anthony?” I honestly forgot Tony was near us.

“Of course I do! It’s all been so wonderful, Sir!”

“Sir? Where did that come from?” I asked the demon, a bit angry. This was new, or at least I haven’t noticed it before.

“Oh, during his transformation I made him want to be a good boy, and that required to set myself as his Sir. Or I don’t know, just wanted to try that out. But boy did that feel well. I barely use mind control on my jobs, but when I do it feels amazing to be in control, and they love it too!”

“They love it because you make them love it! Wait, we can’t talk here” I said, looking at Anthony right in front of us, pretty confused.

“Yeah, you’re right” Oh, and now he cares about his secret?! “C’mon, your Spanish teacher is sick, let’s go to that classroom” He grabbed my hand and guided me around the school. I was about to pull a dickhead move and tell him to fuck off, but it would only make things longer.

When we arrived, I closed the door being us, but made sure it wasn’t locked. Just a safety check in case things escalated quickly. Hopefully, they would not.

“Now, I want answers! Why do you keep playing with my friends like they are some kind of Barbie doll?” He never stopped smiling, it was unnerving.

“Because, I can. You get what I mean now? I can do whatever I want. You’re just a little stone in my big toybox"

“But why like that? Why turn Harry into a jock? And why the others too?!”

“Hey, I made you a favor. That girl, Lily, wasn’t going to ask you out, and Harry would be a perfect match for you! You just have to think a bit more openly- “

“No!” I interrupted him. I wasn’t going to stop my shit until I got some answers. Then, like a flash, I’ve got the perfect question. “How, or why, did you become a demon?” I asked, roughly.

“If I answer, will you let me try to use my powers on you again?” By this point, his cocky smile vanished, as he frowned at me like I just touched a very delicate matter. I nodded and he started explaining. “I killed myself. That’s what you wanted to know? It benefits you a lot, I assume”

“B-but, why?” I was on a row, and I wasn’t going to stop now. I had to get through to him to stop all this nonsense.

“January, 1985.” He continued, I sat down to focus on his story. There HAS to be something to help me in there. “Life sucked. My family sucked. I was a Senior like you, but school was the worst part, as bullying came from everywhere you could imagine. Even from teachers, yeah. The best part is, they used my suicide as a way to get reputation as an ‘institution against abuse’. There’s not much you can do when you decide to hang yourself at your room, know what I mean?” I gulped.

He kept telling his story when he noticed I remained silent. “There was this… judgement, after I died. And apparently, I wasn’t worth enough to reach heaven. It wasn’t so bad though, These… The demon council, they felt pity on me and offered me a deal. I would go back to earth and do a little mischief, to get turned into a demon myself.”

“What do you mean by ‘little mischief’?”

“Have you heard of Lingperton High, my old school?” I shook my head, and stared at him with curiosity. His smile returned, but it wasn’t cocky anymore. It was pure evil. “Kaboom”

I got up at the moment, and started walking to the door, backwards. “Oh my god. Adam was right about you!” He started laughing.

“Who the heck is that? Meh, I don’t actually care. But you and I are going to have real conversation now, kiddo. Let’s talk about helping me with my job.”

“Adam was right and I rejected his help!” I kept saying, I was panicking. Gone was the tough personality I made up. It was all bullshit, I had to stop him at all cost.

“What do you think about trying out another one of my ‘makeovers’, I’m just sure this one will work! I mean, Harry is loving being a jockboy, isn’t he?” He started to walk close to me, I didn’t want to move. His powers were useless, so I may have a chance to defend myself.

“No! What do you think about leaving us and stopping your tricks?! When will you stop?!”

“WHEN MY FUCKING POWERS WORK ON YOU!” He yelled, his face was red. He was really angry this time.

“UGH!” He was close enough. I pushed him with all my might and he lost balance. I took my chance and ran away.

I noticed he covered himself before I left. But as I crossed the door I heard him yelling “BUT, WE HAD A DEAL!”

I wanted to find my friends, maybe I could get to them and help them myself. It was worth a try.

Harry was talking with his new jock buddies before heading to the first class. When did he befriended them? I don’t know, but maybe Kevin manipulated them too to accept the new team member. I tapped Harry’s shoulder and he turned around, the other jocks looked at me curiously.

“’Sup bro, need something?” Said my best friend.

“Uhm, mind if we talk somewhere private?” He nodded and told his mates he would return in a second.

“I’ve got something to tell ya too bro… If ya don’t mind of course” He had an accent? Of course he had an accent! This seemed to be the best work Kevin has done when manipulating my friends, like he really wanted this one to be great.

“Wait, first things first. God, I don’t even know how to say this without it sounding crazy.” I mumbled, then tried my best to explain everything. “Alright, here it goes: Kevin is a demon, and he’s been playing around with you, and Tony, And Derek too. He’s been playing around with all of us since he arrived here” He stared at me, he didn’t seem surprised, nor confused.

“Yeah, I know bro. It’s cool though, Master Kevin made us better. Happier, and confident.” Wait, Master Kevin? This was worse than I expected.

“No no no, he’s not Master Kevin. He just played with you at some point and made you believe that. C’mon Harry, help me out with this” I pleaded him, it seemed to work. For a second, he started to blink a lot, like there was some kind of little trash in his eye.

But then, it stopped. “Sorry bro, don’t know what you’re talking about and you seem to have a lot going on. And I’ve got to head to class. But let’s meet up later when you calm down a bit. I still want to tell you something!” He said, walking away quickly like I was some kind of crazy guy.

So that was it. I tried texting Derek, but he told me he didn’t want to meet up because he was busy with his new work. Apparently, he started working in a half time job.

Talking with Tony was useless, he still believed he’s a preppy boy and had to respect his superiors, and I suspected by the whole “Sir Kevin” thing that he considered the demon one of his superiors.

Speaking of the demon, I haven’t crossed him again, not even after school. I needed help, and there was only one person, or creature that could help me now.

---

As soon as I was in my room, I started calling out for him. Not loudly though, so the rest of my family wouldn’t think I went crazy.

“Adam? Please, can you appear once again?” I walked around the room, saying his name multiple times. Then someone knocked the door.

“Hi? Were you calling out to me?” Said a familiar voice.

“Adam?!” I opened the door and the guy was there. I gave him a warm hug, there was still hope for us! “Thank goodness you came!”

“So, you’re ready to take my offer now?” I nodded, whatever it was, it would be more useful than trying to convince everyone to go back to normal.

He took a little flask from his pocket. “I had to research a lot, but managed to find the answer to your problems in alchemy. With your spit, I created this potion thing. Since you seem to be immune to the demon’s powers, it should work in the demon that has been bothering you. There’s only one catch, he has to drink it” He said, handing me the flask.

“I have to make him drink it and then everything will go back to normal?” But he shook his head.

“Not so simple, but I suspect it will render him powerless for at least a short amount of time. I’ve never heard of anyone with immunity to supernatural stuff, so you should understand why this can be risky. We don’t know what will this actually do, but I have faith that it will help you”

It was risky, yeah. But again, still better than nothing. I grabbed my phone and dialed Kevin’s number. I didn’t hope he would answer, maybe he was still mad. Luckily, he did answer. “So, do you want to make things right this time?”

“Kev, it’s time to finish this. Just come to my room and let’s settle this peacefully”

“It’s a little bit late for that, my friend. Come to the school, and if you don’t, well. You’ll have to look for a new school tomorrow. And new friends, too!” He laughed and hung up. My expression went from determined to terrified.

Adam grabbed my hand. “I heard everything. C’mon, there’s no time to lose!” Then we left my house. I was going to ask him to teleport us there, but he probably couldn’t. I don’t know if I’m also immune to angel powers? Not the time to find out though.

The final battle was about to start.

---

Chapter 5 is already available in my Patreon! And by pledging you also get access to other stories before they go public!

#William and the demon #tf #mind control #brainwash #brainwashing

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ebenelephant · 3 years

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Ok but I would like to take a minute out of my day to talk about Teachers:

The teacher who wears deep purple-pink shirts and rocks them because he can, and has a tattoo on his upper arm that he promised he would show my friends if he stayed in school for all 6 years.

The biology teacher who dresses in naturally dyed clothes that are good for the environment most of the time. Who wears brown leather boots that nearly reach her knees every day. Who dresses like a victorian lady with shin length dresses with high neck lines, long sleeves, wide skirts, corsets, and lots of buttons. But who sometimes wears sparkly trousers just because. Who incubated and hatched a chick in her class and is holding a competition to name it. Who has a horse and a fox skull on her desk. Who hates social interaction, and hardly knows any of her colleagues' names because she simply can't be bothered to talk to them. Who has travelled the world, and lived in Thailand for 10 years, but settled down on a small farm in Scotland with 2 kids, a husband, and several farm animals. Who became a doctor of Biology but still teaches high schoolers 4 days a week and makes soap to sell on Fridays.

The teacher who wears bright blue platform Vans. Who set up a Club at lunch times to be a safe space for LGBT students and their friends.

The art teacher who wore a pikachu T-shirt and an ankle length flowy lilac skirt on the day that I had my first class with her. Who wore a white dress covered in splashes of red today because "It reminds me of Carrie" and rocks it. Who has been nothing but endlessly nice to everyone since she came. Who is invested and ecxited about her subject and wants us to do well. Who let's us listen to music because she understands that we focus better when we do.

The teacher who had bright red hair for my first two years at school. Whose hair I was starting to think was naturally that colour. Who helped set up a writing group and got us a small book of short stories and works published this year. Who helped us achieve something that no one else we know has done.

The English teacher who comes to school in three piece tweed suits and white shirts, but always ends the day with the suit jacket on the back of his chair and his shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Who sits running his hands through his bent over his desk when he's marking at lunch time because he's stressed too. Who has a Canadian flag on his wall because he's proud of where he's from. Who makes sure his student read for at least one period a week because reading is damn important, even if they don't seem to get that. Who leaves school again in the evening wearing a black wool coat.

The teacher who sometimes wears golden waistcoats. Who jokes about his own weight. Who told us that we can't watch 'Titanic' whilst doing a topic on the Victorians and the Industrial Revolution because he's to emotional and would probably cry. Who had trinkets from all around the world from when he was in the military. Who is shameless about having the Nazi flag among many others on his wall because it's a part of History, and we shouldn't shy away from it, and he's going to teach us about it anyway. Who goes for a drink at the end of the day.

The teacher who wears brown cardigans and brown trousers and muted blue shirts. Who cycles to work everyday and set up a Bike Club so students would know how cycle through town without incident and know how to maintain their bikes. Who wants his students to make a healthy change.

The drama teacher who comes to school in leggings and a T-shirt half the time. Who is more than a little eccentric and excitable. Who still makes sure that her students know that respect is important. Who is more respected than the headmistress throughout the student body thanks to her advice and warmth.

The Deputy Head who came to school today with red roses on his tie. Who is intimidating when he wants to be, but isn't uncomfortable to be around when discussing options with you. Who walks into classes and sits on the desk, calm as anything, and tells your class that all of you did well in your exams.

The teacher who may be slightly intimidating, but tells jokes in class and takes students to the side to tell then that they're doing a good job.

The Gym teacher who performed in the schools performance of Grease singing 'High School Drop Out' badly. Who was a good sport and dressed in a white suit and sang in front of hundreds of people and was serenaded by the older female staff member who were playing Angel's. Who did it even though it must have embarrassed him.

The newest Gym teacher who sang an awful rendition of 'All I Want For Christmas' with him at the Christmas Pantomine last year. Who wasn't phased by it and kissed his colleague, another man, on stage in front of hundreds because it really didn't matter. Who sang a love song and was teased about it after but just went along with it and had a laugh with his students instead of being offended. Who helped a girl who got her lip split playing hockey and joked that if he didn't teach PE he'd be a doctor, probably a brain surgeon.

The teacher who won't take 'I don't know' as an answer. Who makes us look through the notes that we took until we find the answer. Who knows that none of us really want to learn Spanish but tells us that we can if we try. Who's probably right. Who is also a Deputy Head and a Pupil Support teacher. Who comes into classes at registration and tells students that they have so much potential and could be so much better if they would only try.

The teacher who has white hair and wears blue jumpers. Who is kind and makes jokes. Who took the Pottermore test while we were working because we asked what Hogwarts House he was in. Who made us feel comfortable enough around him that we asked that in the first place. Who is a Ravenclaw, by the way. Who makes sure that we do all the work that we have to and don't slack, even though we're enjoying ourselves. Who made physics class into the favourite class of the week of half of the students in it. Who created the calm in the storm.

Teachers. Please appreciate them.

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skzhabibi · 4 years

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An Old Crush (A Long, Bittersweet Personal Storytime/Rant)

When I was in Junior High, I had really, REALLY low self esteem. I was still very much in the awkward phase of puberty and all of those hormones paired with the fact I was having lots of problems at home resulted in some pretty severe mental health issues (which I won’t get too much into, because I don’t wanna trigger anyone). Not only that, but I’m naturally pretty sensitive, so any negative comments people had made about my appearance in the past, whether they were trash talking my hand-me-down clothes, pale ass skin, acne, big nose, etc., it really stuck with me. I was a mess, basically. And I’m part Arab on my mom’s side, so seeing a psychiatrist was never really an option.

Anyways, I was 13 or 14 (8th grade) when I took my 1st Spanish class. This had a bunch of the more “popular” kids in it, because they were trying to get the credit out of the way before High School and there were only 2 teachers who taught Spanish at my school, so it was bound to happen. There was a popular boy in my class, called T for the sake of the story, who sat a seat in front and to the left. I don’t know how we first started talking, but it was probably because of many factors. I laughed at his jokes, he sat near me in Spanish and English which we had right after, I was pretty solid academically at the time and he wasn’t, we had a couple mutual friends/acquaintances, etc... I guess it’s also good to mention he was known for his good looks and the fact he was A-string quarterback on our shitty little football team while I was kind of a social floater; a decent amount of people knew of me, but not many people actually knew me well, if at all.

I didn’t really pay him any mind in a romantic way at first, to be honest. I just thought he was reasonably attractive, but I figured he’d think himself “too cool” to be associated with me since that’s the vibe a lot of the other popular boys in the class had given me if I ever tried making friends with them. People really just gave me the cold shoulder in general, which hurt my feelings, so I wasn’t gonna risk it anymore. But what really made that first little crush for him start was when one day as I was rushing to get out the door first after the bell rang (which I always did because I’m impatient as fUCK and hate that huge ass crowd you had to shove through or come out last), he rushed forward, squeezing through the door around the other jocks and practically pushing them out of the way, to catch up to me and ask me to walk to English together. As an inexperienced little simp, that shit really looked like something out of a movie. It gave me such a needed boost of confidence that I actually started beaming, which was REALLY out of character for me (I’ve always been known for my “resting bitch face”).

So this became such a regular thing, walking to English, that we actually began waiting for each other by our desks to pack our stuff up, and we were usually around the last 2 to leave the room. At some point I finally plucked up the courage to ask him for his number, which was TERRIFYING because I’d never done anything like that. I think I made some excuse that since we had 2 classes together if we forgot about the homework we could remind each other (holy shit I was such a nerd). We texted a few times, but it never got super deep that I remember. I never really initiated the conversations because I didn’t want to make it seem like I liked him even though at this point I REALLY did; I even told a couple of my friends, which I didn’t normally do either. I was always someone to bottle up that shit and bury it so it never saw the light of day because I was so fucking afraid of rejection (Fragile Ass Self Esteem wants to know your location).

I literally thought that I was unlikeable in every sense of the word, so a bunch of the signs that he liked me back at the time never dawned on me. He could’ve literally screamed in my face that he liked me and I’d probably be like “As a Friend, right???”

I guess I’ll just take this moment to tell you about a bunch of the things that should’ve bee HUGE ASS signs he liked me:

1.) This girl on the volleyball team at our table in English that T knew would make passes about how he was really sought-after by a shit ton of girls and then look at me. He also looked at me afterwards like he was shy but gauging my reaction. She had a sort of Jade from Victorious vibe to her so I figured she saw through me and was trying to embarrass me by getting a reaction, so I kept my face straight.

2.) He would compliment me more than anyone else I spoke to (which was uhhhh never. I never got complimented.) For example: He was always calling me smart or a “try hard” to joke with me. I took it as an expression of friendly jealousy. When I curled my hair one day he noticed and literally said, “Can we all take a moment to appreciate (my name)’s hair?” It made me blush so hard, but I thought he was making fun of me. He would also insist on reading my shit or me reading his when the English teacher made us peer review/journal check and would compliment the work I did or my handwriting or how organized it looked. Living that emotionally stunted Y/N life.

3.) The Spanish teacher made us partner up any time there was group work, and she moved his seat to right next to mine every routine seat change. I was gullible as shit thinking that that was coincidental when he had other friends in class. I figured it was cuz I was good and he sucked at Spanish lmaooo. I’ve since read posts on reddit where teachers have confirmed that they can tell when kids have crushes on each other and they’ll play wingman/woman. When I read that I was like WAIT A DAMN MINUTE. Mrs. G was a real one and I was so fucking oblivious to it.

4.) Another girl on the volleyball team asked if he and I were dating. I was taken aback and said no, we weren’t (conveniently leaving out the “I wish”) and asked why she would think that. The reason she gave was that since people saw us walk together between classes, a lot of people figured we were together. I chalked it up to stupid gossip that had no roots in anything he said, so I laughed it off to keep from getting my hopes up.

5.) A similar thing happened AGAIN with a guy who was also on the football team. When he learned my name, he was like, “Wait, (my first and last)?” And I was like yeah wtf how did you know my last without me telling you? And he’s straight up like, “Oh, you’re the girl T has a thing for.” AND I WAS SO FUCKING BLIND OMFG I was just like well he’s never told me he likes me so even though multiple people at this point have said something I think that is completely baseless fake news.

6.) One of the MOST telling signs: he would always say hi to me outside of classes when I was alone. He found me outside my locker one day and started talking to me. The coaches would make the kids on sports teams run back to locker room, and one day he was doing that when he saw me at my locker (which was right by the sport locker rooms since I was in girls’ athletics). His teammates would glance at me while they ran by, and he told me to wait for him while he changed so we could walk to Spanish (1st period) together. Ngl, this really sealed the nail in the coffin for my huge ass crush on this kid. I was taken aback because I thought our friendship was just for convenience and he didn’t actually see me as a real friend he would be seen outside of class with. But in the end I still psyched myself out by saying I was just something to entertain him.

7.) One time in the library, I was working on printing out some paper. An annoying ass kid who was overly friendly and rode the bus with me was talking to me a lot, and I was pretty clearly not interested in my mind at least. T walked in for some reason and smiled and said “Hey, (my name)” pretty loudly. I wasn’t expecting to see him, so I was just like “Oh, hey, T,” because I lack social skills. He glanced at the kid and back at me and his face kinda dropped before he kept walking. I think the kid asked me to hang out with him and our mutual friend and I was basically like no thanks man I’m kinda busy.

8.) Other times he would do this as well. One time my girl friend and I were sitting across from each other at a lunch table in the morning after getting off the bus. Out of LITERALLY NOWHERE he just swoops in and sits next to my friend across from me and starts talking to me about some project in Spanish he finished, showing me excitedly what he wrote and asking if it was right. He pretty much ignored my friend, and she was hella socially anxious and knew about my crush on him so she kinda got huge eyes and shut down socially. He and I talked for a bit before it got awkward because we ran out of shit to say and it was awkward now that we had an extra person and we pretty much only talked to each other without anyone else in the conversation. He left after that and my friend and I freaked tf out.

9.) One time while I was waiting for the bus in the cafeteria after school, I was alone because my friends were taking too long. I was on my phone when he comes up and starts talking to me. I was hella fucking awkward because for some reason I‘m always a fucking stiff around the person I like. Then my guy friend who rode the same bus came up and cock blocked the shit out of T because he’s super fucking loud and just starts fucking around. He and I are super close even to this day and I guess T got intimidated by how easily we were joking around and kinda saw himself out before I could say anything.

10.) THIS LIST IS GETTING TOO LONG SKDJDJASKDJDJ BUT I FUCKIN FORGOT whenever we would walk between classes we would sometimes not even talk. Like whenever the conversation died we would just kinda stare into each other’s eyes 😂 I thought I was just being creepy, but he fucking smiled at me when it happened why am I so dUmB fUUUCK. Also sometimes the popular kids would run up behind us and fuck with him like make fun of him or make some sort of awkward pass that I wouldn’t react to before running down the hall ahead of us. My guess now is that he was meaning to make a move but my neutral reaction to whatever dumbass thing they said made it impossible to tell if I felt the same so he chickened out.

ANYWAYS I think our little friendship/mutual pining fizzled our after one time he made a more up front attempt because at this point he was probably fed up with waiting for me to get the hint but this exchange really fucking backfired:

Basically he got a girlfriend, this girl on GUESS WHAT??! THE VOLLEYBALL TEAM. I heard about it straight from him while we’re walking to English together and that shit hurted but I was like whatever I still want him as a friend and this pretty much confirmed in my mind that he NEVER liked me. So basically he’s talking about how he’s been seeing her to pass the time but he doesn’t actually like her. And I was like why not? She’s really cool/nice and REALLY pretty. But if you don’t like her then why date her? Seems like a waste of time. He’s like yeah well basically she said she liked me so I asked her out but tbh I think she’s annoying. And I’m like what did she do something on a date that was annoying? STILL UTTERLY CLUELESS AND HES DEADASS LIKE what are you jealous like in a flirty way and my DUMB. ASS. Is like.... WHATTTT PSHHH NO I MEAN WE’RE JUST BROSSS AHAHA.

Can I get an F in the chat pls?

Basically we just stopped talking after a while. I think my friend texting his brother officially knifed the shit out of that ship’s sail. Years later I confessed that I liked him back then and asked if he liked me back back then so I could stop worrying about gaslighting myself and he’s basically like yeah I would’ve tried something with you (came across really unenthusiastic). And then one time in like my freshman year of community college I was with my bio study group in the library going to where we were meeting up for a project when I felt eyes on me from the computers and literally LOCKED EYES WITH HIM AND HES JUST LIKE 👁👄👁

LMAO I PRETENDED LIKE I DIDNT KNOW THAT BITCH

OH TO SEE WITHOUT MY EYES

1 like = 1 smash of your head against the wall at my fucking idiocy

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buckyownsmyheart · 5 years

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Worth Fighting For [one-shot]

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Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Words: 5.6k (I can’t help it I’m sorry)

Summary: As a new recruit trying to pass the enrolment tests, you need to prove to everyone that you deserve to be a part of the team. To do this, you push yourself to your limits, and get some help from an onlooker.

Warnings: A bit angsty, swearing as per, I was feeling some emotions when writing this

A/N: This is for @yslbuckyx ‘s writing challenge! Congrats on 1k! My prompt was “I’m sorry, I got a little too carried away”

You ran purely on spite. You were tired of people telling you that you couldn’t, so you did. You joined S.H.I.E.L.D. 4 weeks ago, to spite your father who said you couldn’t, and had just passed the tactical and mental challenges. These had always been your strengths, learning and memorising new information was something that you enjoyed doing. It sounds nerdy, but frankly you had gotten over being called that since way back in high school. People were always going to talk, so you might as well do what the fuck you want, and for you, that was absorbing knowledge. Since high school, you had learnt Spanish, Japanese, Russian and were in the process of learning Cantonese. Your ability to pick up new things had meant that you were finishing top 5 after 4 weeks in the selection process. At the beginning, there were 60 new recruits, but by the end of the next 4 weeks there would be 10. It was a brutal process, on the first day they lined everyone up and split them in half, and then sent half home, saying that they don’t recruit unlucky people. From those 30, 10 would be removed after the intellect test, and 10 after the next step, the physical test, which was the part that you were most worried about.

You had never been strong or particularly sporty. You often ran, enjoying the hours of solitude that it gave you, allowing your brain to sort through anything that it might be pondering or struggling with. There was nothing like the feeling of fresh air on your face, or the relief when you stop, and your calves relax and stretch out. But this wasn’t going to get you through the push-ups or sit-ups or whatever else they made you do, so you had to be smart about this if you wanted to make it through to the final 10. You had started trying to build up your strength, but so far you felt you hadn’t made any progress and it was infuriating, but your time was up, and you were absolutely shitting yourself.

For the next 5 months, you would be put through hell. Testing your physical strength, your resilience and your adaptability to environments. For each month that passed, the 2 people at the bottom of the rankings would be sent home, and you weren’t sure you could face your father if you were sent home, you knew what he would say. “I told you so sweetheart, you’re just not cut out for that sort of thing, why don’t you try something a little more for you? A little more gentle.” You were going to make it through these challenges.

The 20 recruits stood in two lines of ten, some were turning to their neighbour and chatting, but you didn’t feel much like small talk, so you hid yourself in the backrow at the end, trying to avert all attention away from you. Maybe if they thought you were no one from the beginning, and let them have low expectations, then you might be able to surpass those expectations with what little strength you have. Everyone snapped to attention when Captain America and Black Widow walked into the large space you were all standing in, eyeing each and every one of you. You tried to stand tall and not shy away from their gaze, knowing that this was probably just a scare tactic, trying to spot the weak ones straight away. Luckily, from years of practice at school, you had become adept at blending in and becoming invisible, not too proud, not too shy, somewhere in the middle.

“Recruits,” Captain America addressed the lines, “Today we’re going to start with some basic fighting, I’m sure you’ve all got some experience, so we’re going to pair you up and test your skills, let’s start with a warm-up.” Shit. You had close to no fighting experience, unless you count that one time in your debate class where a boy named Jimmy had tried to hit you, so you kneed him in the balls. That was when you were 12. Why hadn’t you thought about this. You assumed that they would teach you all the basics once you got in, and that this was just to gauge your fitness levels, not to put you up against each other and judge from that. You turned to the girl next to you, her beady eyes located a little too close together on her rather square-looking head. Her biceps looked like they could strangle you by giving you a glance. You looked wildly around but saw that everyone else had already paired off. You gave her a small smile, and Cap started the warm-up. Luckily, at this point there was no actual fighting, and you actually just seemed to be warming up your muscles. You copied your partner’s every move and looked around the room to see how other people were doing it. There were practice punches being thrown, body twists to focus on technique and some more cardiovascular exercises to get your heartrate up. You were glad about your runs, because although sweat was running down your forehead, your breathing was still pretty steady.

“Alright everyone,” Black Widow’s voice carried across the room, causing instant silence. “We’re pairing you off against each other, this is a no-rule fighting situation. Nothing dirty, but all styles welcome. You two, up first.”

You realised she was gesturing to you and your terrifying partner, there was no way you were escaping out of this alive. Your legs seemed to move of their own accord, jumping up onto the mat and dropping into a fighting position.

You gulped, took a large breath in and released it, trying to calm your heart thumping in your chest. It might give the opposition a confidence boost to see your chest shaking with how hard your heart was beating, and you couldn’t be giving them any more advantages than they already had. The two of you padded around each other, your fists were raised in a protective stance, and your opponent looked like she was ready to pounce at any moment, and then she did. You dodged the first attack, jumping around her arm and bouncing on your feet. After a few more circles of each other, she lunged again, her fist narrowly missing your torso, but as you were on the back foot, she delivered a kick to your knee, which immediately brought you down to the mat. You leaped back up, bouncing on your aching knee to try and get the pain to go away, and ran over to the other side of the mat.

“Stop dancing!” A voice shouted from the side, and you shook some hair out of your face to try and focus. People around you were murmuring.

“There’s no way she can do this.”

“Look how weak she is!”

“Hasn’t thrown a single punch.”

Anger bubbled up inside you, this wasn’t your fault. It was unfair. But you wanted to show them that you could do this. Prove them wrong. And so, you dove back into the fight, trying to put as much weight behind your punches as possible and tightening your core. You got a few hits in, but your opponent was too quick and too strong. She blocked your hits after the initial surprise and fought back. Hard. A volley of punches hit you all over and kept coming as you stumbled back. They merged into one as the floor beneath you spun, and your vision became blurry. When the punching stopped, you realised you were on the floor. Everything hurt, your vision was still cloudy and there were still leers behind you. Determined, you got up, and raised your fists once more, trying to get the world to stop spinning. You focused on the woman in front of you and willed your legs to move. On shaky legs, you moved forward, before a hand was on your chest. You looked up to see Black Widow looking down on you.

“Alright, show’s over. That’s enough for today. 0530, tomorrow, sharp.” As people left the room, you were still trying to make your legs obey you. You couldn’t appear any weaker in front of the one person you needed to impress, but her hand was still on your chest, holding you back. “Are you in the right place? Do you even want to be here?” Her voice was harsh and scathing, and it felt like a ton of bricks on your chest. Of course she didn’t believe in you either, you had made a fool out of yourself in front of everyone. You’d be surprised if they allowed you to stay to the end of the month, maybe you should have stuck with an intelligence desk job. But that voice in your head that doubted you also reminded you of all the other people that doubted you, and you’d be damned if you let them win. You raised yourself up and looked her dead in the eye.

“This is where I’m meant to be, and I’ll prove it to you. I’ll be in the top 5 by the end of the selection.”

Her voice softened, “You’ve got fire in your belly. Use it.” And with that, she left you, where you remained alone, wondering what you had just gotten yourself into.

⁎⁎⁎

Bucky was sitting down on the sofa, watching an episode of Brooklyn 99, his new favourite show, when Nat came in and slumped down beside him.

“You know, for a world-class assassin, you have very little finesse.”

“Says the guy who tripped over the very flat floor yesterday.” She sighed, “There’s a new recruit, she’s weak and can’t fight for shit. I don’t know if she’s ever fought before, but she’s so determined, and it breaks my heart that she won’t make it to the end of the week, because she’s exactly the type of person we want here. Someone with defiance and will do anything to break the odds, but the stupid recruitment team don’t think traits like that are valuable. They want meatheads, the intelligence tests they have to do are just making sure they can do high-school maths, and still half of them fail. Apparently, she was top after that, knows something like 3 languages, but they’re already trying to kick her out and move her to intelligence.”

“Wouldn’t intelligence be better suited for her if she can’t fight?” Bucky replied, looking up at Nat confused.

“But we need strategists, leaders, not people that will follow every word we say, because we’re not going to be around for ever, and if the next generation only follow our orders, who’s will they follow next? She’s different, she thinks for herself, but Fury’s already on my ass about picking favourites, so I’m just going to have to let her go.”

Bucky nodded, not sure what else to say, and they both watched the rest of the episode in silence. He did think about the new recruit though, he wondered who they must be to have made such an impression on Natasha, she wasn’t often one to care about people she didn’t know, but by the next morning, all was forgotten as Bucky headed down to the gym.

⁎⁎⁎

After visiting the medical bay, 5 stitches and lots of codeine later, you collapsed onto your bed. You had each been given a dorm along a single corridor, with shared bathrooms at either end. Now you had expectations to live up to and a top 5 to be in, you needed a better plan. One that was going to get you there, but first, you needed to learn how to throw a punch. Tonight, YouTube was going to be your best friend. You watched videos of fighting styles, how to perfect your technique, how to maximise your strength, how to read your opponent. There were tips and tricks on everything from making people make mistakes to building up muscle quickly (naturally of course, you didn’t think anabolic steroids were the answer here). By the time you had gone through these, standing up to practice and do slow run throughs of the moves, it was past midnight. You set your alarm for 4:00, if you were going to do this, it was best to start how you mean to go on.

Your alarm blared as you sat up, feeling like you had only had a few minutes of sleep. You rubbed the tiredness out of your eyes and threw on your gym kit. Before your brain could wake up and tell you what a terrible idea this was, you found yourself in the gym, starting the warm-up that the Cap had shown you all yesterday, and then building on it from the things you had learnt. For an hour you practiced, sweated, and improved. By the time the rest of the recruits had got down, you had had a shower and changed into some fresh gear, ready for the day. The day of training continued, and you found yourself doing exercises, punching bags and using a range of the different fighting techniques. The assessors moved around, taking notes and judging styles.

The days continued like this, but the end of the first week was rapidly approaching, and there was no way that you were not in the bottom two. Although you had improved massively, everyone else had such a big head start, that you were still being beaten in every fight you were put in. You struggled to meet Romanoff’s eye. It had become rapidly known if they called her Black Widow she would kick them out of the programme immediately. On the Sunday, you trudged down to the gym before the others, and saw that the list had already been published. Your heart stopped beating, and then thudded against your chest. Trying to breathe evenly, you looked at the list of names and the rankings. You were 18th. Somehow, you had made it through to the next week. Two names at the end that you didn’t recognise, but then again, you hadn’t really bonded with the rest of the recruits, were in red. Disbelief filled you, how could you still be in? Was the tiredness finally kicking in, and you had reduced your brain to hallucinating? Shaking your head, you looked at the words again, but you were definitely not being kicked out. You were sure others would be sad about losing two members, but you were glad they were gone because it wasn’t you. That’s the thing about running on spite, it doesn’t leave a lot of room for love in your head. You went over to the punching bag and started your routine. What you didn’t know, was that someone had accidentally stumbled onto your morning escapades and was impressed.

Bucky looked onto the new recruit, smiling. He had first seen her the morning after their initiation into the compound, where he had gone down to the gym early to try and burn off a nightmare, to find someone already there. This must have been the recruit that Nat had been talking about, the one that had had her ass handed to her, but still found the strength to challenge Nat. He knew that although she would never admit it, Nat saw herself in that recruit, and wanted to get her through this process. As Nat was in charge of the selection process, she couldn’t pick favourites and help only them. Bucky, however, wasn’t related to the selection process at all, and so he did as much as he could to help you get through. That week, it was just telling Nat that you had been down here, sweating every morning, watching videos and trying to get your technique up. She had visually seen the improvements and had decided to keep you on. Bucky knew though, that this next week was more fight orientated, and that you needed more than the internet to get you through it. So, he took a deep breath, and approached you for the first time in a week.

“You want to engage your core a little more, try not to throw your shoulders into the punch so much, rotate your entire body.” Okay, Bucky, you could have started with something a little less harsh, the whole getting people to like you thing Sam was talking about.

“I’m sorry, you are?” There was a hardness to your voice, but your face was soft and open. Seeing you up close, he could appreciate the finer details of your face and the subtle movements of the muscles as different emotions intertwined themselves within your features.

“Sorry, Bucky Barnes,” he stuck his hand out to shake, which you hesitantly took after removing a glove, “I want to help you get through to the next round.”

“Why?” You asked, still looking unsure at Bucky’s face, and then around as if you were looking for other people around him.

“Let’s say I’m helping a friend out. I’ve seen you here before everyone, and staying after they’ve all left, and I’m impressed. If you want my help, I’m happy to give it to you.”

You narrowed your eyes at him, and Bucky thought you might turn down his offer, “Isn’t that cheating?”

He couldn’t help himself but laugh a little, “Darl, this is life, there’s no cheating, only people who find ways to cope and people who don’t.”

You didn’t respond, and Bucky could see the conflict in your brain as cogs turned. You considered him, and then shrugged, “Okay, engage my core, what else?”

And that was that, your training together started.

⁎⁎⁎

You were beyond sceptical of Bucky and his help. He coached you for an hour, and all the pointers made sense, but you couldn’t help but feel something was off. Why was he being so nice? His excuse didn’t really make any sense, and you didn’t trust someone without motive, because people always had motive and if you didn’t know it, then it’s most likely to be against you. Until you could figure him out, you decided to take all the advice you could get and try and stay in a little longer.

When you came back from your shower after parting with Bucky, the group of other recruits had gathered early to see the list. There was an uproar and shouting, people mouthing off the system, and you. “She cheated, there’s no way she’s still in.”

“They need to take likeability into these tests.”

“Diane and Charlie shouldn’t have been the ones to leave.”

“I saw her with the Winter Soldier just now, trust her to sleep her way to the top.”

With the last one, you froze, your blood turning cold. This explained Bucky’s motivations, he was not only trying to get you kicked out, but he was going to make your so-called teammates hate you along the way. Maybe he thought if he spread enough rumours about you, you would leave all by yourself. You weren’t going to let that happen. With 15 minutes to go until Romanoff arrived to start that days training session, you backed away from the murmuring people, trying not to let their words get to you, and trying to use the anger that was bubbling up inside of you to build your motivation. It wasn’t until you got into the changing rooms that the anger faded into irrevocable sadness that often lingered behind the emotions that surfaced. Trying to cough out the lump in your throat and looking determinedly at the ceiling, you focused on the good. You were here, you were through, you were improving day-to-day, and you had already proven people wrong. This was your dream, and you were going to get there eventually. Placing the palms of your hands in your eyes, you tried not to think about the deep loneliness that had etched its way into your bones, chilling you from the inside out. You tried not to think about the last time you had been touched that wasn’t violent or pitying. Repeating to yourself like a mantra, you affirmed, “You can sleep when you’re dead, and you can love when you’re finished.”

“That seems an awfully lonely way of thinking, sweetheart.”

Bucky’s voice startled you out of your trance, and you got to your feet, only seeing red. This was the man who was trying to sabotage you, spreading lies into the wind to break you down, and you were going to show him exactly what you thought about it.

“How dare you come in here, pretending like you’re not trying to sabotage my career, my life, by telling the world that I was sleeping my way to the top, and you have the audacity to call me sweetheart? Get out of my face, I never want to see you again.”

“Woah, woah, woah, where has this come from?” You went to storm past him, rolling your eyes to hide the tears that were building again, but he stepped back, gently placing his arm in front of you. “Look, I don’t know where you’ve got all this from, but I promise I would never tell anyone anything that wasn’t true. I haven’t told a soul that I’m going to help you, and I would never make up something as obscene as you were repaying me with sex? I swear on my ma’s grave that whatever you heard; it wasn’t from me.”

You looked at him calculatingly, trying to read his expression and find any tell-tale tics that he was lying, but his face was relaxed, his eyes open and almost pleading that you believed him. You had no idea why he cared so much, he had known you for all of two hours, and no he was pretending like you had some sort of trust between you? As if reading your mind, he spoke again.

“Look, I know we don’t know each other but I’ve read your file, I know about you, about your life. You’re smart, and the sort of person we need as an agent here, Nat said so herself. I know she sees herself in you, but she can’t do anything about it so I’m here to help you. I want to help, I promise I would never do something to hurt you, and I will kick the asses of all of the other recruits for spreading shit about you.”

You couldn’t help but give a small smile at this, sniffing away some stray tears that you didn't realise had fallen. He did seem genuine, and everyone knows that there’s always a leap of faith at some point in everyone’s story, maybe yours was with Bucky.

“Is that a smile?” He asked, “I know this is a new age, but damn, it seems like pigs might be flying!” An unwanted laugh escaped your lips, unable to keep it at bay. How on earth had someone been able to cut through your mask so quickly? You blamed the lack of sleep and ignored any other point your brain might come up with. “You should get back to the other recruits, this week is strength and fitness, and if you don’t beat at least 3 people up that climbing wall then I’m making you get up an hour earlier each day this week.”

He turned to walk out of the door, and as he opened it, he turned back to you, giving an award-winning smile. Were there butterflies in your stomach? Yes. Were you going to ignore them for all eternity? Also yes. Bucky had been in your life all of two hours, he wasn’t going to be the reason you failed, all because you were touch-starved and lonely. Shaking those unwanted feelings out of your head, you braced yourself for the onslaught of accusations that would be thrown at you, but somehow the prospect of facing them seemed a little lighter than they had before.

⁎⁎⁎

Over the course of the week, you and Bucky had spent over 25 and a half hours working together, not that you were counting. An hour and a half of that was on Wednesday, when there had been an unfortunate incident where you broke down and accidentally spilled your guts to Bucky, telling him everything that had ever got to you. You told him about your father never accepting who you were and pushing you into some mould by sending you off to some faraway school. You talked about how you weren’t even sure if this was right for you, and that you chose what to do next by seeing what people said you couldn’t do. Your hopes and fears spilled out, accompanied by too much snot and a slightly bewildered Bucky. To his credit, he comforted you, remaining silent until you had calmed yourself down. Before you had a chance to apologise, Bucky spoke in a collected but soft voice. He opened up too, telling you about his nightmares, about how after Steve left, he felt the pressure to become the hero that everyone expected him to be. You could still hear his voice crack as he laid himself out on the table, just as you had done.

“After all I did as the Winter Soldier, I struggled with the idea that I could be a hero like everyone else. I felt I didn’t belong, and I pushed away anyone that tried to reach out. Then I realised that you accept the treatment you think you deserve, and you belong where you allow yourself to belong.”

Through sleep deprivation, pushing yourself through limits and emotional sharing, you two had become closer than you had with anyone before. The butterflies in your stomach turned into smiles when he walked into the room. At night, you found yourself preoccupied with thoughts of him. Of stupid jokes he’d make throughout the sessions, featherlight touches that stayed hot for minutes after he moved and ways in which you could ease his night-time turmoil’s. He had been kind to you when no one else had, and you let him in where no one else could be. He was your light in darkness and the warmth within your veins, and you had a feeling that you were also his.

Although Bucky had eased your self-deprecating thoughts, they still surfaced every now and again. Frustration often triggered them when you struggled to see progress. You knew it had been such a short period of time, but you knew Bucky must be getting frustrated at you too, and you couldn’t deal with his disappointment among everyone else’s. Although he didn’t know, he had become the thing in your life that held you together, and if he left, you were certain you would fall apart.

This was all whirling around your mind on Saturday afternoon, until Bucky’s voice cut through your thoughts.

“No!” Bucky shouted at you, “You’re leaving your side exposed, someone can come in here.” He jabbed you and you let out a growl. You had been training for hours, Bucky putting you through your paces after making you get up earlier than usual, and then stay later afterwards. Today seemed to be one of those days where everything that could go wrong, did. You couldn’t seem to get anything right and were getting more irritated by the second.

“Can’t you see I’m trying!” You yelled back at him, repositioning yourself to try again. As you lunged at him, he stepped you easily.

“Too obvious, again.”

You rolled your neck to release some tension in your shoulders and tried again. You jumped to the other side, but Bucky pushed one of your shoulders, “Keep balanced!” You ignored him and went in for another punch. “Legs!” He shouted, sweeping at your ankles, making you stumble back into the wall as his arm crossed over your chest, pinning you down. You felt tears brim in your eyes, the overwhelming emotion from the past few months coming to the surface again. You couldn’t breathe past the lump that was stuck in your throat, and looked Bucky defiantly in the eye, daring him to say something else, because he was just like everyone else. He would leave when he realised that you weren’t going anywhere, and you would be left alone again. It was your fault for getting your hopes up. Instead, his face fell, concern lacing his features.

“I’m so sorry (Y/n), Oh god,” He said softly, releasing you from against the wall, “I’m sorry, I got a little too carried away. Did I hurt you? Are you okay?” He looked up at you, searching your face and brushing some sweaty hair off of your forehead, “I just really want you to get through, I want you to be in this team. Let’s stop for today, yeah? That was too much.”

You looked up at him confused, watching his shaking hands as they moved away from your face with curiosity. His words were a stark contrast to all the other voices of people that had told you that you were too weak, not made for this sort of world, that you couldn’t do it, but those voices rang louder in the back of your head. Before, they had spurred you on, but now you felt like maybe they were right, and you were stupid to try and prove them wrong. Bucky’s intentions resurfaced in your mind again, and you began doubting the friendship you had formed, wondering what he was doing helping you. You shoved him back, trying to fight back the tears that threatened to pour out of your eyes. “Why are you helping me? Is this some joke to you and Romanoff? See how far I go before I break? See how much I believe I have a friend, before realising you were making it up?” Every doubt you had about him was threading itself into your words, trying to hide your feelings deep under insecurities, and hiding those insecurities under anger and spite.

He looked at you, his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open slightly in a small ‘o’ shape. Then his eyebrows furrowed, and he took another step back. He pointed his finger accusatorily at you, “What have I got to do to show you that I mean it? That I care about your outcome? I’ve known you for less than three weeks and you already occupy every space in my brain. I can’t stop thinking about you (Y/n)! And all you can say is that I’m not sincere? Not genuine enough for you? Shock horror, not everyone hates you, some love you, open your goddamn eyes.”

Bucky’s voice was filled with a mix of passion and anger, his words shaking and his hands falling limp by his side as he finished. His chest was moving up and down heavily and realisation hit you. This wasn’t a one-way street. You had been so caught up in yourself that you failed to see the obvious. The way that Bucky was also getting up at ungodly hours, making training plans, preparing sports drinks and high energy snacks. He had shown you love in a way that you had failed to recognise because you had never been taught to look for it, and now he was pouring his heart out to you and all you could do was stare back at him. You had no idea what to say, what could you reply to that? How could you tell him that you couldn’t bear the thought of leaving him behind, so you tried to kid yourself that it was all nothing? That he was the only thing keeping you going through this? That he was the person to replace your motivations of spite, to motivations of love?

“Kiss me.” Your voice said, sounding small, but Bucky didn’t need telling twice. He pinned you back against the wall and crashed his lips to yours. Your bodies moulded together, and your lips moved against one another. You both trying to express the repressed feelings, you your gratitude, and him his pure intentions. And whilst no fireworks went off, you felt a sigh of relief exit your body as he kissed you. The tension releasing from your shoulders, and the threat of tears subsiding from your eyes. When you finally broke apart, you looked at him, a small smile appeared on his face.

“Now that, was worth fighting for.”

“Bucky, I’m sorry,” you tried to say, but he cut you off.

“I know, I am too, I didn’t mean to raise my voice, I’m sorry if I scared you.”

“No, you shouldn’t apologise, I’m sorry for not appreciating you, you gave me everything I wanted, and I gave attitude back. I never could be scared of you. The only thing I was scared about is that I might fall in love with you, because that’s a terrifying ordeal.”

He gave you a soft kiss on your forehead. “You showed me you appreciated me in your own way, you talked me through my nightmares, brought two towels because you know I always forget mine and laugh at my jokes no matter how stupid. You embolden the light inside me by encouraging me to be me. Maybe we both need to work on our communication a little more, but we also speak in a language that the other understands, so it’s okay.” You rested your head on his chest, finding solace in the steady beating of his heart and his hands stroking your hair. You could feel his lips moving against your hairline as he spoke again, “Come on, let’s get some food, too much shouting makes me hungry.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, “Barnes, breathing makes you hungry, you’re an ogre.”

“A sexy ogre that’s going to take you on a date and ask for Nat for special treatment to pass you through the stages, because I am done with early mornings. I will train you in weapons myself at a reasonable hour.”

“That’s definitely cheating.”

“Maybe so, but it’s more fun.”

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