#i think these ramble posts are working lol it feels a little easier to be neutral and to give it some time!!!!!
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i care very much about stage mtc lol:
alan-san is very pretty lol like i wish i could say he’s the prettiest samatoki but that’s also a judgement based on the assumption that samatoki has given us anything under an 11 LOL
but he’s still a gorgeous samatoki lol
asanuma-san is a god tier seiyuu so anyone having to embody samatoki i doubt can capture what asanuma-san does with samatoki’s voice but alan-san’s take isn’t bad i don’t think!!!!!
like when he raps aggressively, it’s really cool lol
stage samatoki is like, the most emotional sad boy samatoki we’ve gotten and alan-san’s face sure does give it just that man just looks so sad sometimes lol
this is less to do with his samatoki and more of himself lol, but during a separate event unaffiliated with hypstage but featured a handful of them, he challenged akira-san to a video game on the basis that because both their names start with the letter 🅰️, they gotta throw down because there can only be one Ace in town and that was so funny he’s a goober lmao
asanuma-san made a very similar joke the year prior to that event and that’s how i know he shared the samatoki braincell LOL
throwback to the samatoki cross talk where he and asanuma-san had to guess what’s samatoki’s default pose on the official website. asanuma-san got it right but alan-san didn’t and upon getting it wrong, he attempted to run out from the venue LOL
mi…………….. mizue kenta sir 🥺🥺🥺
he’s slain many a human with that face of his and i’m not strong enough to fight it either lmao
juto used to have a modicum of coolness in the beginning and has been nerfed significantly over the years lmao but mizue-san’s juto is an old relic from those times lol
like it’s so funny to me both komada-san and mizue-san used to voice juto on a higher register but eventually deepened his voice as their perception of the character changed lol
mizue-san is legendary at video games and i’m not saying juto’s gamer status came from him but—
speaking of arb lol y’all know that one horn-knee bait juto card with the handcuffs????? mizue-san’s juto said hold my beer and showed the true hornee juto bait lol
like what do you mean he gets TWO solos where he tramples on and seduces men?????????????
there’s a scene at the end of track 4 where once that conflict had been resolved, juto quietly walked up beside samatoki, who was brooding to himself, and expressed an ice cold rage towards samatoki for leaving his team behind in that conflict that has stayed with me lol it’s probably the mtc moment i think about most
besides the rep live skit where samatoki gets falsely arrested but wants to stay arrested because rio wants to feed him so juto’s running back and forth confusedly trying to extend samatoki’s sentence LOL
RIO MY MAN IS SUCH A CHARACTER IN THE STAGE LOL
canon rio’s stoicism is surface level actually like stage rio is more along the lines of stern with a very heavy side helping of silly and i like to that it’s the version of rio canon rio thinks he is lol
that doesn’t mean stage rio isn’t cool tho like his rap game is no joke 😭👌
that part in bop2023 where they do a solos relay and as rio’s solo transitions to juto’s he goes, ‘juto, rock that shit’ and i lose my shit tbh LOL especially when you see that pleased smile on juto’s face pls!!!!!
byrnes-san is the brand of wasian that’s good at english and i enjoyed reading reports of rio’s english lessons during mtc’s rep live
and then to come back later in bop2023 hyping the crowd up with english their japanese audience didn’t understand so he scolded them for not studying it came full circle i want to cry—
#this is vee speaking#i am not gon lie tho i am so so so excited for the new samatoki actor#like whoever thought it was a great idea to cast a 35 year old man to play samatoki is CORRECT HE LOOKS INTENSE ASF#if he had been part of the og mtc set his face card alone would have had me mourning HIM AND MIZUE KENTA ON THE SAME STAGE?????#samajuto scenes would have ended me lmao#the new juto is very pretty it’s just crazy to me to have a baby faced juto next to a more rugged samatoki lol#rio losing that wasian look between actors makes me very sad but it’s fine lol i do appreciate being unable to tell what he’s mixed with#american shouldn’t have to default to white so yeah let’s go new rio!!!!!!#i think these ramble posts are working lol it feels a little easier to be neutral and to give it some time!!!!!#i think these ramble posts are working lol it feels easier to be subjective!!!!! which is good being angry at hypmic is exhausting lol
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one day ill be annoying ab my selfship again . although i enjoy that ppl enjoy my writing most of this is entirely self indulgent, projection, and for me . being so real .
#wispy chatters#i will never write inbox requests ever again ( /j... but only maybe executive dysfunction hits. )#( i dont know what to rlly write or hc w steven anymore and im in that weird kind of clingy to my interp era where like.#nobody seems to characterize steven right and i feel like im the only one but i dont wanna be a dick but most of its self indulgent so#ill keep it to myself. )#also bc i think i like. already put out all of the imporant steven hcs anyways LOL#ALSO also because ive been busy writing and rping selfship stuff w my friend involving steven instead of writing proper. which#preferable. this was mostly a side hobby to explode all of my hcs onto while i was struggling mentally#and had jack shit else to do.#sorry that i ramble a lot. no im not. this is my fucking blog . But yea#ive also been kind of negative or like. able to be interpreted as negative recently. which. yea kind of#lot of things and interpretations i do not fucking like in this fandom esp ab steven i just keep it to myself.#i just dont like fandom in general esp fanon and steven is such a fanonized character. which. yea he doesnt have much to work with#but hes got enough. idk#life goes on and all . maybe ill make a selfship blog... ill probably snag the url and then never use it.#im talking like im quitting the blog . i do that a lot. im not i just always do whatever i like even if i have 500 unanswered asks.#was easier to focus on writing any char i could in my depression era#its a little sad to see writing and hc posts and im like... i could get in on that. people totally think im a dead blog.#but idk what to add all of the main steven stuff has been squoze outta me.#not entirely but i put my full 100% steven into my self indulgent embarassing thoughts.#buuut yea thats kinda whats been. going on w me ig? Not really? fuck if i know
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Hiya honey girl!
How are you doing? ♥️
I feel gay today, and I don’t have anyone to vent to, so it’s gonna be you I’m afraid
I feel so gay, I spent half the day looking longingly in the distance, and *sighing* wishfully
Do you ever feel like that?
Last week I bought a red rose from a dude in the street and offered it to a beautiful lady singer in a bar, and even if I don’t particularly want to see her again, it still felt good to do something chivalrous and lesbiany you know?
I like living my life on my own, but some days I wish I could do those romantic things with somebody, like holding hands and cuddling, and walking along the river, and maybe kissing a little.
Even if I’m happy by myself, sometimes I still yearn for the day I’ll have my own lady to offer my roses to 🥺
inkaaaa hi hi <3
I'm doing pretty good, in drastic need of a weekend. almost there!
!!! gay vents are always welcome here! oh to look longingly into the distance whilst sighing wishfully...
do I ever feel like that YES absolutely in fact while pondering my response I did just that asjdfkl okay I might ramble in the tags but yeah completely relate to be happy with life on my own but sometimes wishing it wasn't just me yeah I'm definitely going to ramble in the tags
offering a beautiful lady a rose I'm 🥺🥺 sometimes you just have to indulge in chivalrous lesbiany actions this is unavoidable. manifesting this for you, I hope all your rose offering yearnings come true!
#this is so sweet and very relatable alksdfjs#only opting to ramble in the tags instead of the response bc I feel like this is going to get long lol you've been warned#but yeah. definitely do feel the happy by myself but sometimes wish I could be sharing that time with others#sometimes if i'm watching tv I'll wonder what new shows or movies I'd be watching if someone else was here#instead of the same eight shows I just watch on rotation all year (this is bc I like them btw. it's just hard to watch new shows#without external motivation to do so)#or when I'm working on the blanket that's been in progress almost two years. I wonder if I'd be making it in someone else's favorite colors#lot of little thoughts like this. some are fleeting and others I tend to get stuck on a bit or overthink#like breakfast for example. would I eat breakfast more consistently if I was also making it for someone else? what if they prefer to eat#the same thing every day? i need variety but I could make sure we always have their favorite fruit or put their cereal box out to make it#easier. or if getting the cereal out is part of their routine i can make sure their favorite bowl is always clean#i find myself wondering which of my mugs would be their favorite? which of theirs would be my favorite?#yeah i'm an acts of service person can you tell. also quality time... can you imagine the shared floor time conversations#a lot of the time I picture myself doing the exact same thing like watching tv and playing switch or practicing music or even working#the biggest different is just that someone else would also be here doing their own thing#to scroll tumblr in silence from the same couch... sending each other posts even though we're both right there. I do miss that#even chores would be more fun and go quicker I think. racing to see if they can do the dishes faster than I can fold and hang laundry#tidying and putting our things together in shared spaces. seeing them side by side just like we are#making the bed together and putting each of our stuffed animals on our own side#or maybe I'd just make it so they have one less thing to worry about#I think i've exposed myself enough alskdfj but there are quite literally hundreds more where those came from#anyway who wants to admit they have a crush on me (kidding) (ish)#asks#oops after posting this is looks like way more tags than I thought it would sorry anyone who made it this far
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Night Reading Nook ✨
#ffxiv housing#ff14 housing#ffxiv#i'm pretty proud of this esp since this is my second go at ffxiv house decorating#people are so skilled at house design in this game i love seeing other people's work#so hopefully one day i can be that good to xD#on another random note#i posted this to twitter first and completely forgot that i can crosspost this stuff too?#i posted my old layout on there but i'm not crossposting that#i had it for a year and when i was halfway done with this i was like "yeah i'm not going to spend a second more missing the old design lol#i will get better at posting someday#i think tumblr is a little easier for me because i feel like i have to be more strict on twitter??#i think it's the tagging system lol#i'm bad at captioning but good at rambling and tumblr lets me post with bad captions and less intrusive rambles#sorry i got sidetracked
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Hi i hope you doing well. I have a resquest... more like a headcanon. What if Adam was a dad ? What his behaviour will be ? Does he be a good or a bad father ?
I understand if you don't do it. I don't want to force you for something you don't want to.
Dadam (Dad!Adam) Headcanons
we bringing out the daddy issues on this one boys
WARNINGS: none
A/N: I haven't done a headcanon type of post yet, but they're easier to write than regular one shots and I'm too tired for that shit. The request didn't specify what kind of Reader (spouse or child), so I just went with general headcanons that don't specify the Reader at all. Insert yourself as you wish!
Also, thank you all for your patience! It's been very busy for me lately and I've been too exhausted to write much, so expect a lot more of these kinds of posts (the formatting is easier and I don't have to write a bunch of dialogue lol).
Dividers
As the father of humanity, Adam had...a lot of kids. The guy lived for 800+ years just populating the earth. That's a LOT of kids.
We all know how the first two turned out. That is, not fuckin' well.
To be honest, I don't think Adam valued his children. It was just kinda... a thing he had to do. (When Abel died and Cain got exiled, he fr just went and had another kid to replace them.)
But I am in deep, deep denial and this is for my enjoyment as someone with severe daddy issues. So fuck all that.
At first, Adam is 100% the guy that freaks the fuck out when he finds out he knocked someone up. That man is SWEATING.
He's actually pretty chill if it's someone he's in an established long-term relationship with, though. He still freaks the fuck out, but to a significantly lesser degree and with a much smaller chance of up and leaving.
Once he's over the initial shock, he's shocked to find that he's kind of excited. Back when he was alive, having kids was just normal because it was such a common occurrence.
This man knows every little detail about pregnancy and infants. With the amount of kids he's had? He has seen it ALL.
Sure, all his information is thousands of years old, but knowledge learned through experience is super valuable when it comes to this shit! He doesn't know what the fuck a uterus is, but he knows exactly how to make his partner the most comfortable, how to deal with cravings, etc.
If his partner has a problem, he's got a solution. It might be a fuckin' weird one, but it works!
He'll probably grumble and complain, but he doesn't actually mean it. Bitching is just his thing, y'know?
But... pregnancy hormones + Adam's douchebag-ness = feelings getting hurt.
If his partner starts crying because of some shit joke or complaint he made? He's scrambling so fast.
"Shit, babe, fuck, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, fuckfuckfuck, don't cry—"
Once the baby is born, he definitely surprises literally everyone but his partner by actually doing helpful shit.
Changing diapers? Easy fuckin' peasy (he does watch a tutorial online because he doesn't know how tf modern diapers work but he's a fast learner) Feeding? No problemo. Getting up in the middle of the night to do both of those things? His sleep schedule's already fucked, this shit ain't new.
When it comes to parenting and raising the kid, though... that's definitely where Adam struggles.
He'd struggle with bonding. A lot. Adam mostly talks about things that you really shouldn't say around children, much less bond over.
I think he'd be better at just letting the kid ramble while he's just sitting there, fully engrossed in whatever bullshit his child is saying. He's not just passively listening with little 'uh-huh's and nods, this man is active in the discussion.
Have you ever heard a small child speak? They say the most random shit ever, and Adam would love it. It's peak entertainment to him. Even if it's just incoherent babbling, he'll have full-on conversations with this baby.
He'd definitely have some shared interests as the kid gets older. I think Adam's favorite shows/movies are a mix of action movies and shit like Power Rangers. He's not ashamed of it either—'fuck you, the Power Rangers are fuckin' cool.'
This also goes for video games. I know that man is a toxic COD gamer boy and you can't prove me wrong. Basically, the only thing that keeps him from becoming one of those husbands that locks himself away in a man cave to play video games is the fact that he can game with his kid.
And once they get into school, he just gets really invested in the drama. Elementary school drama is such bullshit, and it'd be the best reality TV he's ever seen.
"Oh, don't tell me—it's that bitch Cindy. The fuck did that little shit do this time?"
He'd be gasping like it's a damn soap opera. 'Oh no she didn't!' kinda vibe.
He'd talk so much shit around his kid about the parents of their classmates, the teachers, anyone.
Then the kid would repeat it and Adam would get sat down in the office with his kid like:
"Your child said, and I quote, 'My dad says your mom's a bitch.'"
"What? She fuckin' is."
And yeah, he's not wrong - some of those parents are fucking nightmares.
If his kid got in trouble for fighting, his reaction would depend on the situation.
If it was unprovoked and/or a part of bullying, he'd originally laugh it off but would be freaking the fuck out internally.
He's probably a little traumatized by what happened with Cain and Abel.
But if the fighting was an act of defense (whether of themselves or someone else) he would be the proudest dad ever. Fist-bumps his kid in the office in full view of the principal.
You cannot trust this man to give his kid the sex talk. It just will not go well.
Like, if his kid needs advice when they're older (basically anything beyond 'where do babies come from') then he's your guy, but it's still gonna be awkward and uncomfortable.
He'd probably have Lute handle most of those issues just so he doesn't have to know about his kid's sex life but can still trust that they have a responsible(?) adult if they have questions.
In terms of where Adam is lacking as a parent, there's a few areas in particular to focus on.
Emotional availability? Not his strong suit. At all. He can't deal with his own feelings, let alone his kid's. Most of the emotional support will be coming from his partner.
That doesn't mean he doesn't try. But he can't show it with words all that well. He'll show emotional support in other ways—quality time, gifts, and acts of service for the most part. Like going out for ice cream, watching a movie, etc.
He's not good with discipline. To him, everything's no big deal. If his kid hasn't killed their sibling, that's good enough for him!
Generally, his partner will choose when/how to discipline (with Adam's input ofc), but Adam's job is to just enforce it/not overrule it.
He's 100% the type to be sneaky about it tho. If his kid is grounded, he'll go out with them to give them a break from being stuck in the house, y'know, stuff like that.
Because of this, his kid forms a closer, different kind of bond than with Adam's partner. It's more friendly, I guess is the word?
Like, his kid won't go to him for actual helpful advice, but if they fuck up somehow or are in a bad situation that they kinda got themselves into (drinking, car accident, etc.), then Adam is the parent they call.
I think Adam's peak parenting era would be when his kid is a late teen/young adult.
'Cause then he can actually be himself, for the most part. His personality is not very kid-friendly, so once his kid isn't really much of a kid anymore—he is so fucking excited.
His relationship with his kid would be a lot more unconventional as they grow older. Like, he's really close with his kid once they're an adult. (totally not basing this off my relationship with my mom)
His advice would be shit, but he'd give it if his kid needed it!
Definitely the type to text his kid more often than most parents. Mostly because he texts more like them and has the same sense of humor. Lots of shitty memes.
Also!! I think Adam would definitely make time for his partner. Date nights are a must. His kid better get comfortable with sleepovers at friends' houses or getting babysat by Emily 'cause he ain't letting parenthood fuck up his sex life.
I think that's all I got. Not sure how to end this so uh... shoutout to all you bitches with daddy issues lmao
Taglist: @little-miss-chaoss @fakeguysarehot @3sire-777
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel adam#hazbin adam#hazbin hotel adam x reader#hazbin hotel fluff#hazbin hotel oneshots#hazbin hotel headcanons#headcanons#adam headcanons#hazbin headcanons#adam x reader
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Post-extermination!Lute x fem reader? Where lute is trying to show that she's still good/strong enough for reader and she can still be independent. Along with reader comforting Lute about how she's still perfect for her. (Details and examples below bc i enjoy rambling sorry)
I imagine that after loosing her arm lute would be very showy about overcompensating for it. And that if reader even tried to treat her bit differently, like being more SLIGHTLY gentle/careful with her, lute would get offended tell her to knock it off.
Lute's a strong woman, pre-extermination her carried reader alllll the time. Post-extermination Lute would most certainly still try too (and surprisingly succeeds somehow) despite the reader's worries of being dropped or being too heavy for 1 arm.
This ranges from trying to hold all the groceries alone to trying to prove she's still good in the bedroom by not allowing the reader to help (like she'd literally tell reader to let her do it alone)
I hope you have a wonderful day!!!
dont apologize for requesting! i adore long requests! they have all the little details for the prompt included that make the story just- *chefs kiss*
𝐈 𝐂𝐚𝐧 𝐒𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐃𝐨 𝐈𝐭 — 𝐋𝐮𝐭𝐞 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬
𐐒 includes : post-extermination!lute x fem!reader
𐐒 cw : fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, mention of blood/stitches/wounds
𐐒 summary : lute's adjusting to life after extermination day, and as her girlfriend, you hope to make it easier on her
𐐒 note : i don't even know what to call my rambling anymore lol, love it
like we all saw at the end of the season, lute is full or rage- and a little hurt
the loss of her arm, initially, didn't hurt as much as losing her best friend
it takes longer for her to heal and accept the sudden turn of events
she doesn't want it to stop her or hold her back, especially from her relationship with you (especially with the loss of adam) she'd want to hold on tight to you
(like in the ask) Lute isn't one to just be beaten down by this, its a challenge she's going to fking overcome-by herself
likes to do things for YOU instead of the other way around, like if you want a snack or something she won't even let you stand up (let alone THINK) about grabbing it yourself
definitely wouldn't tell you about how she feels unless its too much, but you can see it in her; the way she's sluggish or looking down more often.
(although im not sure atm) I assume Lute is right-handed; without the left, things can get a bit trivial at times
like when you watch her try to balance her long spear with one arm, the weight of the steel trembling between her fingers. the muscles in her arms not used to carrying the entire weight by itself
Lute carrying you with one arm: she tries like how she used to, by putting an arm under your arms to support your back-but stops when she realizes she cant pick you up bridal style
I think she could manage holding you that way, around your back if you also hold onto her by wrapping your arms around her shoulders
(on this note) you being so close to her face is the perfect opportunity for her to kiss you
Hugging her from the back is not happening- her wings and all. . .
If you tried to help her take care of her arm too; bandaging it or cleaning it; she'd refuse all help and lock herself in the bathroom until she's handled it herself
(you can hear a ton of mumbled swearing and things knocking around)
its not a you thing, its a her thing; she needs to prove to herself that she can do it
Lute would hate all the flowers the other exterminators would get her; to the point she wouldn't even acknowledge the roses you placed on her nightstand
she's too stubborn to ever say it, but she's thankful you're still with her: Lute giving you soft kisses when she thinks your asleep, whispering all the 'thank you's' she doesn't think she could ever say to you awake
The loss of her arm pushes her to work harder, especially on the arm she still has in order to compensate for what happened
Technically, the hell-spawn didn't take her arm, but they still took a lot from her- she doesn't want that to mean they could take you from her too
You bet your ass the day will come where she picks up that spear again, better than fucking ever
#headcannons#hazbin hotel#imagines#headcanon#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin lute#reader insert#lute x reader#lute x y/n#lute x you#hcs#lute hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel lute#post extermination#extermination#lute x fem!reader#angst#fluff#hurt/comfort#tw blood#tw mention of blood
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New shifting/manifestation method?
Ok so idk if anyone's gonna see this but I just feel like I should share my last shitfting attempt where I went into the void state super fast and easily bc I feel like this could maybe be helpful for people. Both for shifting and just manifesting.
So in this attempt I had woken up but not really yk, I was still in that sorta half asleep state which was really good because it made my mind super susceptible to whatever affirmations I wanted.
Basically the method I did is inspired by something I saw on tiktok recently about using a "now or never" mindset which will trick your mind into thinking you HAVE to shift/go in the void state which will make it happen much easier. So I imagined myself jumping off a really tall building where I'd die if I reached the ground (obviously lol) and sorta just yelled at myself in my head stuff like "I have to be in the void state right now" and just like forcefully affirmed "I am in the void state I am in the void state" and basically convinced myself I would die if I didn't go into the void state right now. And dudes I kid you not I literally went into the void state within SECONDS it was fuckin CRAZY.
I think the key is to not actually give yourself that much time like you have to convince yourself that you have to do it within the next few seconds. This is also why I think you should try this when you're reeaaaally tired and/or sorta half asleep so before bed or right after waking up because then your able to actually convince your mind easily while its susceptible.
Ok so here are steps if ppl wanna try this:
1. Start when you're mind is really tired or half asleep so before bed, after waking up, or during a nap.
2. Before doing anything I think it's good to set the intention of what you want to do e.g. mine was "I'm going to go into the void state and successfully shift to my desired reality".
3. Make up a scenario where you are going to die within seconds (scary ik but trust me). For me I think scenarios where you are falling are the best. And you gotta really immerse yourself in this scenario so sorry to people who can't visualize 😭.
4. Aggressively affirm to yourself that you HAVE to shift or go into the void state right now like its urgent or you'll die.
And yea that's about it. It's like 3 steps and super quick so it doesn't hurt to atleast give it a try. I wanna see if this can work for other people or just me because I have a unique relationship with sleep.
Also no I didn't get to my DR sadly as I got a little scared lol, but I did get into the void state which as you know makes it a lot easier to shift. Sorry if this was kinda rambly this is my first ever post.
#shifting realities#shifting#shifters#desired reality#reality shifting#reality shift#shift#shifter#shiftblr#reality shifter#shifting methods#shifting method#shifting motivation#shifting ideas#manifestation#void state
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A little update for everybody for my current and future updates 🩷: (please read it ❤️)
Her Royal Highness: Hiatus. Trust me, I am the saddest about it. It is the first thing I wrote and what made me want to start the blog, but I have kind of lost the vision I had for it and I can't write anything without hating it. Don't worry too much about it because I am really dramatic and might just keep it going on a month 🩷.
Lift me off my feet: Around 4 chapters left. It would make it a 13 chapter series, taking in consideration I started because of a fanart I'm quite impressed with. Still, the little plot that it has is starting to run out and I feel like it is just unnecessarily stretching it, especially since there are other series I want to work on and I can't until this one is finished. I wanted to ask, would you rather have me finish this one “fast” or alternate it with other posts? Fast would be as in focusing on writing only this fic until I finished, and I believe I could have it done next week most likely.
Switch Bodies: Plot wise, around 2 chapters. After that, it would just be random scenarios that I would think of or that you could want me to write. Still, this one doesn't really have a schedule as it is mostly jokes so I can't tell when I'll update.
Spidey: This one will have a slower than usual post schedule since it is going to be interactive and I'll need to leave time between chapters to let everyone vote their favorites. So I'll be a bit more relaxed rhythm of updates.
Poll Fic: Whichever wins the poll (I can't see the results until Monday unless I vote and I'm edging myself like a moron), I won't probably write anything until I finish Lift Me Off My Feet, plus I want to organize a bit the plot so the thing that happens with Her Royal Highness doesn't happens again and I have something to support myself on to finish it. So I'll be a bit of time still.
Those are the series, I'm also working on oneshots and just silly stuff that genuinely I'll post randomly.
Aswell, I wanted to let people know that the on taglist form I removed the option to choose on which fic to me tagged because I was getting everyone mixed and it was becoming too chaotic so now there will be one single taglist. I hope you guys don't mind too much and thank you for understanding. If you would prefer me to remove you from it you can also tell me on the taglist form without a problem. 🩷🩷
There are going to be a couple of days without updates because I'm going to work on tidying everything up a bit so it is easier to navigate the blog. And I'm also going to slow down a bit as well, because I don't understand why I have pressured myself into uploading as soon as possible to the point I'm burning myself out instead of enjoying writing like I should.
That being said, I'm done rambling and complaining. I'd love any kind of feedback, as comments, asks or DM, I always love to read you guys opinion and ideas so feel free to do so ❤️❤️
Sorry for the disappointment of this not being an update let me know what you would rather have happening on the Lift me off my feet fic 🩷
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sorry to bother you, i saw your 2022 hourly comic post today and i first want to say thank you because it’s really my exact situation in so many ways, right down to being apart from my partner (haven’t gotten to see her since the start of the pandemic since we’re both disabled and public transport is a covid nightmare but we’re on the council housing waitlist so hopefully eventually!) and it means a lot to not feel alone in that. i wanted to ask about the mobility chair that helps you sit up if that’s okay? i have a simple bed setup but being able to sit in the living room with the sun and a view is nice, but i can’t sit up unsupported for long and i can’t really like Do Anything and also sit upright bc the sitting up is all my energy, so a chair like that might be something to save for if you could maybe tell me about it! also does it have support for the neck/head? i think my spine is getting compressed from not being able to sit up for so long lol but i might be able to find cushions for that so that’s less essential!
anyway, sorry to ramble on! no pressure if you can’t manage a reply, the fact that i know about such chairs now is helpful so thank you either way!! and probably very belated but i was scrolling your blog and happy to see you have a place with your partner, so congrats! take care and all the best to you both!
thank you for this message, v sorry you're in the same boat as I was. Answering properly and publicly in case this is useful for anyone else:
Stuff I personally use to make being bedbound more comfortable
obligatory disclaimer I am not a doctor, stretching or moving your body a little (see 18) if or when you can is probably good, etc.
1. SPECIAL FURNITURE
The chair I have NOW is a "riser recliner" and I usually add a small pillow for lower back (and sometimes head) support. Like adjustable beds, they're whole furniture with powerful (HEAVY) motors built in, so they're expensive. They're usually cheaper:
if you don't need to be tipped out (just power recliners, though they might recline less or provide less support)
from regular shops, not mobility ones.
If you're able, you can go into a store and try one out first (personally being taken in a wheelchair was worth the strain, because it was weirdly hard to predict what back shape would be comfy).
if you're in the UK and you're 'chronically sick or disabled' you can get them VAT-free to make them 20% cheaper - mobility stores will have a form, others you might have to ask / check the shop does it
(I got one I could lie flat in, that came with a free setup service in the 'room of my choice'.)
It still took me 8 years of illness mostly stuck in bed to get both chair and bed because of (a) the price (b) not being sure I was sick enough to "deserve" it, same with my wheelchair. THIS WAS A FOOLISH WAY OF THINKING. There's no threshold required to get devices that will make your life easier / less agonising. Mobility aids are for anyone who'll be helped by them.
2. ADJUST EXISTING FURNITURE WITH WEIRD PILLOWS
Special furniture will obviously not be possible for everyone, and before I got the chair, I just used a combo of regular pillows and a triangle wedge pillow in bed (though it took trying 2 different wedges to find one that was a good shape for me.)
Last year someone ( @dont-break-hearts I think? THANK YOU) recommended me this shape cushion - some start at £15 on that site. That's now what I use to sit on a regular sofa, though I also always need my legs up at the same height (tall footstool now, but a sideways dining chair works ok) so it's closer to lying down.
These aren't 100% ideal - ymmv, I still need extra cushions and any position gets stiff after a while - but for me are WAY BETTER than just layering pillows or forcing myself to sit up.
#asks#disability#sorry for this long answer lol. but this is the info i needed several years ago so hoping it might help someone#this is all about the UK but I assume these things exist other places#disclaimer this is not medical advice....... I also never received ANY medical advice about this so... it's just what worked for me
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my take on marius von hagen: part one, his approach to romance
marius has been with me for over a year now and he pretty much occupies my thoughts 24/7, and this was something i have been itching to write for a while. so... strap in, grab your juice box and your cheetos and let's get this show on the road yeah?
Fair Warning, this will not be under a read more, so i apologize in advance if it gets pretty lengthy. (edit: this post is abt 1.8k words long, wow sorry lol.)
this is going to be a character analysis... sort of; it's an analysis of the version of marius that lives in my brain rent free. given that this is an introductory post to what i believe might be a series of my insane marius ramblings, i think i should provide some insight as to what said marius is like in order for the rest of this post to make sense.
first of all, i embrace realism and i reject canon. in marius' sweet wonders card, he finally reveals the significance of the z dog tag he's always wearing. while i think it's really magical that he was able to move on from blaming himself for his mother's death by having an epiphany staring at the ferris wheel... well, i like to make him worse and i just don't think, ultimately, that it's likely or realistic. the marius in my head has a very hard time trying to justify his own existence. i'm not saying he doesn't want to live, or that he'd put himself in any kind of danger, but i believe that he works very hard in order to justify being alive (to himself). not only does he still grapple with the loss of his mother and the role he believes he had to play in that, but there's a part of him that also blames himself for giann's disappearance.
marius believes that he is a vortex that sucks in everything, that destroys everything in its wake. we know for a fact, above all else, that marius doesn't want other people to have to go down with him.
i also believe (especially due to this description) that marius personally manufactured the image he has as a playboy, as opposed to it being a reputation that was given by others which he eventually leaned into.
allow me to elaborate.
marius, in his desire to avoid people being chewed up in his life and spat back out, would want to control the situation as much as possible. there are a few reasons why i believe he'd make this reputation for himself, which are 1) having control of the narrative of himself and making sure people do underestimate him is precisely how he maintains the upper hand in many scenarios (because let's face it, no one expects ditzy, arrogant marius von hagen to be able to outsmart them), and 2) it's much easier to push people away when he makes himself seem incompetent and undesirable. he may be one of the richest men on the planet, but sometimes money isn't enough to redeem an awful composition.
all of that having been said, marius additionally has to have severe trust issues due to the fact that he has a lot of influence and wealth people undoubtably want to use him for, and said influence is the source of a traumatic experience he went through as a child that would forever change the way he'd interact with others in the future. if you remember, marius vaguely alludes to an incident in will of the trees.
he mentions it again in the card in the darkness when he and rosa get trapped in a dark cave and he begins to panic, only this time he's a little more detailed about what happened to him in order to explain his anxiety to her.
then, he actually gives the details of what happened in his personal story.
mc remembers the hints marius had dropped to her a couple of times regarding this incident, so she then asks:
i don't believe marius actually blamed himself for his mother until this was said about him. his mother is the root of all things; he thinks that if he was never born, she would have never died, and perhaps she and giann would still be around and would be happy and healthy. he convinces himself that his existence destroyed his family. the stress of his feelings and anxiety makes him extremely sick as a kid.
all of this was too much for a young marius; now, remember when i said that i reject canon? that's important, because i don't think he ever properly recovered from this episode. i fully believe that marius does need and should go to therapy as an adult, and hasn't done so. my headcanon as to why he didn't, and why he gives off the impression that he's fine now and everything is fine now, is because he wised up and realized that he was being a burden on others and his mother's death would be in vain if he did so.
marius, tired of being a strain on the people he loves, pretends to be mentally sound to avoid his father and brother worrying about him. the way he chooses to cope with this is to disassociate himself with these events that happened to him, to the point where he talks about them like it wasn't him personally that experienced it. (i might touch upon this again in a future post if it becomes relevant.) he can't let others know that things bother him, because it can be weaponized; it would make him look weak, and the last thing he wants is anyone worrying about him but himself, or anyone to take advantage of that weakness. consider this as a strategy he adopted from the "conceal, don't feel" philosophy.
that having been said, a personal acceptance to "get over it" to stop feeling like he needs an emotional babysitter in his relatives =/= a lack of resentment towards others for how that was handled. marius nearly died due to the cruelty of a jealous relative, and his family was right in trying to protect him (as burdensome as he feels he may is), and he learns pretty quickly that he cannot trust others.
he still is one of the most influential people alive, and that means there's going to be a slew of people walking in and out of the revolving door leading into his life that are going to want to take advantage of that fact. it also goes beyond just people wanting to manipulate him, but he doesn't enjoy playing along in this circus of social hierarchy, and doesn't enjoy the people hanging around in these spaces. because they're ingenuine, they have no merit to him, and quite simply put he's looking to fill his life with color and sincerity.
i propose that... in order to consider a romantic relationship with someone, despite how much he longs for one, he would need to deeply get to know the person first and it would take a significant time to do so... and i know what you're thinking, it's just like a regular relationship, right? getting to know someone before deciding if you want to be with them? except, to marius, this is extreme; this social sphere he occupies has effectively chewed him up and spat him back out, because he's at the top of the top. his father is the wealthiest man in the world. marius by virtue of being a von hagen is essentially on the same level as royalty, and his family name is not enough to protect him. he has to be sharp, and he needs to be alert and constantly on guard.
he'd have no idea what someone's intentions may be with him when he meets them and he knows better than to blindly trust a person's seemingly apparent good faith, but also... he's so worried about dragging people down that he'd be almost afraid to consider it. it isn't enough that people want to use and abuse him to their hearts' content, but they'd try to tear up anyone else who went in there with him, and marius would be afraid of that outcome. he's already ruined the lives of his mother and his brother in his failure to protect them from the circumstances that removed them from his life. he would be unwilling to cause someone else he cares about to be put in the same situation, and he wouldn't be able to bear it if they also ended up abandoning him.
all of that leads me to say: i believe he would be more scared and avoidant upon realizing he was falling in love with someone, rather than immediately trying to pursue it with all he's got like he would his other endeavors.
the reason? it's so simple to pursue art. art is an arbitrary passion of his that doesn't impede on anyone else but himself, nor is it influenced by any outside forces; marius has full control over it. the same goes for his company; no one is going to sit there and hold his hand with his newfound ceo duties. he's always been capable of pursuing things on his own. romance is different; romance involves putting his young and fragile heart on the line to go after a whole other independent and outside entity not knowing whether or not he's going to face rejection.
eventually, i believe he'll completely learn to get over the hurdle, but in the interest of transparency... i think he's going to need a nudge from the other person first. a sign it's reciprocated, before he has to put his heart on ice.
i think it's on brand for marius to be a tease when you meet him; it is a genuine facet of his personality, but it's also something that feeds well into his reputation. he's assuming that people are going to know exactly who he is when he runs into them on the street, so he doesn't even bother dropping his pretense. but, i do think that extends... he doesn't drop that mask right away, it takes months and months, and lots of patience and understanding in order to unravel the mystery that is marius von hagen. he's going to want to gauge whether or not it's something he wants to commit to, and if it is, he's going to have to be prepared to unpack all that baggage. he would have to believe that this is going to be a happy ending for him, that his fairytale won't be a tragedy, in order to see a path forward. once marius goes into something, he doesn't step out.
so, he won't put up that much of a fight if he starts to fall in love with you, but that doesn't mean he would be eager make that leap of faith without getting a hint that there will be a safety net ready to catch him when he falls.
#marius von hagen#tears of themis#lu jinghe#tot marius#z rambles#i might end up editing this post a dozen times as i think of new things to say
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Hi hello I'm here to request a little analysis! I've wanted to do this for a long time but I was always a bit afraid to lol
I've been following you for YEARS and I'm pretty sure I've gone through the entirety of your SE Suit Saeran posts in full many times -along with having saved and read your one fic with him with your oc! I wouldn't dare call myself an expert by any means but I feel like I have a really good grasp on his character and I like to think I could comment with him well >u<
But I would really love to hear your input on the person he is today, versus the person he was while at Mint Eye. He's in two very different places in his life and that greatly affects lots of things. How is he different? How is he the same? What does he still struggle with? Is he as boisterous and aggressive? Is he more depressed and solitary? How would he respond to someone showing a strong desire to be close to him in a situation where mc met him after the cult?
Please just feel free to ramble about him!! I hope it's okay to ask for this. I don't see many Grave posts anymore and I would love to hear from you. I hope this post makes it through ! !
SE Suit Saeran is still, at his core, based on Suit Saeran.
He is a little bit different but not all that much. Those changes are largely in part because he has been doing his best to survive in the background, constantly flickering in and out of consciousness for as long as he can remember. Saeran, in this case, SE Saeran, has been at the helm for a long time, but he’s always been there… watching… sitting on the edge when things get tough… but that’s just it.
After Saeran escapes Mint Eye and is forced to live with Saeyoung, there’s no reason for someone to be strong no matter what happens next to survive… there’s nothing but apathy in the bunker. That's how Saeran is handling his recovery for a large part of the time after being out of Mint Eye. Apathy is detachment and that detachment helps a huge part of his broken heart. It's better not to get his hopes up, but at least in the bunker, he doesn't have to live with:
SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST.
So, where does that put Grave, whose very existence comes from the need to survive no matter what Rika threw at them? It puts him back at rock bottom where he doesn't know how to exist. He lashes out at anyone and everyone, sans the MC if they already know Saeran, but they're not wholly immune from his meltdowns. They're just not high on his shit list. He doesn't know how to live without fighting, and that is a huge part of Grave's existence.
Learning how to survive without fighting for it.
His core struggle is true to his character no matter what timeline he's in, and that's not something we can wash away. He isn't as boisterous as you might expect him to be, but he's more like a feral cat because if you push him too hard? He's going to bite. He doesn't want people to tell him what to do. He doesn't want anybody to tell him what to do, because there's so much happening in the world now that he is fully conscious once again, and he needs some semblance of control over his autonomy.
It’s the same for SE Saeran.
There is only so much control they have because of the situation, and they need as much as they can get.
If you respect his space and allow him to decide what he's comfortable with, he's more likely to let you stick around than he would be if you did the opposite. You need to allow him to decide what he is and isn't comfortable with.
For the most part, he likes to be alone, because it's easier to be alone than to be around people who just don't understand what it's like to have your mind move a mile a minute.
Sometimes, he just wants to sit by himself and work on something and if somebody wants to do the same thing with him by sitting there and working on their own thing, that is largely preferable to sharing an activity with another person. Parallel play is a love of his. Once he warms up to you, he might offer to do an activity with you now and again, but he likes that you two can exist in the same space without always needing to be glued at the hip.
As far as getting close to an MC that wasn't in Mint Eye… hm. I know I've talked about this before at some point, but it's going to be hard to get close to him no matter when you met him. I don't think you have an advantage if you were in Mint Eye, nor do I think you have one if you meet him afterward. It's going to be difficult regardless simply due to the fact that Grave is wary of trusting anyone, even those who might be deemed safe by Saeran.
If you're willing to put in the work to respect him, he'll put in the work to understand you, it's as simple as that. Just be aware of the fact that he holds on to a lot of the more volatile memories, and that can make it hard for him to get close to other people. It's not because he wants to lash out at people, it's because he's afraid of lashing out at people again. He and Saeran carry the memory of hurting Jihyun (or in the case of my MC, hurting her in V’s stead on accident) and that memory is as heavy as a boulder.
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HI!!!! for the director's cut thing: anything about you bring me closer to god that you haven't shared yet? 😊
HELLO EMY MY DARLING MY CHILD!!!!!! Thank you for asking about ✨her✨
Looking back at my previous comments about this fic, I’ve shared a lot about the writing process it seems. So today, I’d like to talk about some of the non-Oscar perspectives!
I thought a good deal about what Lando was feeling during this, since his body language and actions were the focus on a lot of Oscar’s internal monologue. Not that he always read them correctly, to be clear, but it was important nevertheless lol.
The first piece of Lando that I parsed out is that ALL of his behavior before and after a show is part of his performance. There might be truth slipped into it, of course, but every choice he makes is stylized and intentional. For example:
Until he’s there, just like he’s always there: a half-zipped hoodie thrown over his stage clothes, hair finger combed into something a little more presentable, heavily-lined eyes alight with endorphins yet to wear off. Then the seconds crawl, briefly, as Oscar stands there, dish rag in hand, looking at him.
Watching as Lando rests an elbow on the bar, cupping his jaw in his hand and tilting his head to the side – looking at him, too.
His jacket isn’t zipped this time – hanging loosely off his shoulders
Lando spent TIME making sure his hair looked presentable, even if it was that “intentionally messy” look; he spent TIME making sure his jacket hung off his shoulders just right before stepping out to the bar. In my mind, the twenty minutes spent back stage after a show was reflective of both his perfectionism ((his desire to broadcast the exact image the band needs)) and his nervousness around Oscar ((wanting to play the exact character Oscar would be most attracted to)).
in the following scene, I spent some time wondering why Lando would go to the bar during the day. It’s implied that they’ve had their post-show routine for a few weeks, so why now? In my mind, there were two possible reason — both of which I alluded to in the previous scene.
A) George or Alex finally goaded him into it:
We know that Lando feels like talking to Oscar is easier when he’s in costume, when he can hide behind his stage persona. We also know that Alex gave Lando a knowing look after their last performance — asking if Lando was gonna stay late again. It’s subtly implied that the band knows Lando is down ATROCIOUS, and maybe that side comment was the indication that they’re gonna finally push him on it.
B) Lando finally had a moment of realization:
The scene ends with a bit of an ‘ow’: Lando seemingly flirting with a beautiful woman down the bar, and Oscar trying his best to ignore it. While I mostly wrote this to show that Oscar has some insecurities around Lando and his vivacious personality, I also wanted it to show Lando’s perspective.
To me, Lando wasn’t genuinely flirting with her — he was just making conversation, he’s just continuing to play the part of ‘hot and gregarious frontman’. Maybe she got a bit too forward, or maybe he caught a hint of hurt in Oscar’s eye — maybe both. In the end, I thought that maybe this was a moment where Lando realized that playing a part the entire time he’s with Oscar won’t get him what he wants.
As my last bit of ramble, I thought about how to show Lando’s discomfort/awkwardness without making it clear to Oscar what he was thinking — and I did so by having him storm into the bar and start bombarding Oscar with questions.
I wanted the effect of having him sound confident while actually being horrifically weird. Like, spamming someone with questions, not allowing them to return the favor, that’s…. Poor social etiquette. It’s a little off putting. Oscar finds it endearing because he’s also down atrocious, but objectively Lando was not playing it smooth. This would have worked on absolutely no one but Oscar.
Feel free to ask more about any of my fics 💖
#Anyways I tried to subtly make lando a loser but the reader doesn’t notice it right away bc Oscar wants him so bad#The thesis#You Bring Me Closer to God#ask me :)#directors commentary
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hello! i love your works so much everything you write is perfect! i stopped writing more than a year ago but reading your works inspired me to write again 😊 it’s crazy how we are the same age but our level of writing is completely different, yours blew my mind 🤯🤯🤯 (in a good way!!!!!) i was wondering if you could give me some tips to improve my writing as i feel like i’m lacking in many departments (if you’re comfortable in doing so, ofc!) thank you! ❤️❤️❤️
this ask was send march 5th, and i'm happy to report that four months later, for the first time in a while, i think i'm finally at a point in my writing where i'm confident giving out tips that are not generic and stock standard. i do not know if anon is going to ever see this, but i hope you do, and i hope that you're still as inspired to write as you were when you sent this :) a lot can happen in four months!!
i'm just going to get straight into it. you'll find that the further you go, the more... catered the advice might be to you (it's long, and maybe a bit rambly, but i hope it’s useful in some sort of way 🥲)
# ONE - THE MOST BASICS:
the most DEVASTATING thing you can do for your writing is not have a purpose for each scene or snippet you write. give your scenes a point, don't let them be just images that you sit on the document to take up space! are you trying to prove that character x oc's relationship is growing? are you trying to show that it's breaking apart? are you trying to set up the character as someone who's beginning to fall in love and hates it? give everything a purpose. every word must be linked to your intention.
you know what they say about chekhov's gun, if you are going to mention some little thing, give it a purpose later! you mention reader likes sweaters? let character give them a sweater! this works in many-a-ways.
this all comes down to the planning, which i would give tips on, but i'm writing this part too late. i'm also trying to keep this first part brief because this is a very long post.
for english speakers, the second most devastating thing is to not know your grammar LOL (i cannot criticise those who speak another language as their first! kudos to you, keep doing what you're doing.)
# TWO - FIND YOUR STYLE:
easier said than done, but it's an essential part of any art. writing takes time, and only time will evolve your skill and therefore, your style. if you do not like what you write off the bat and believe you are 'lacking' in some departments (no such thing, there is room to improve instead of being 'incapable' of doing something), then i always turn to some of my favourite authors, whether they are published or another fanfiction writer, turn to them and study them. DO NOT PLAGIARISE, just try and emulate what you see from their works and put them into your works, with your own sense of individual style.
i have my list of esteemed tumblr writings that i look up to, as well as writers that i adore. ocean vuong will always be one of my favourite writers, i listen to him frequently when i am stumped by my own writibg. he has this sort of creative aura that drips of his own idiosyncrasy that inspires me every time i try to listen to him, him just speaking calms and invigorates me so much.
so yeah, find your writer, and learn from them :)
# THREE - THE 'DEPARTMENTS':
the departments that i have included are:
characterisation
dialogue
description and artistic expression (this one is long, bear with me.)
like i said earlier, there are indeed departments are writing that we all have room to improve in. i will talk about the few that i might find specific to fanfic writing because i am nothing like an actual author :,)
characterisation: a fickle little thing T^T the worst thing ever. to characterise properly means you know the character like it's your own, but in fanfiction that's just truly not possible :,) so i can try and give you my own tips on how i deal with characterisation.
listen to the english dub (or your first language) - DON'T CRUCIFY ME. PLEASE. BUT LET ME SPEAK. for my fellow fluent english speakers, listening to a dub in a language we do not understand can only go so far in the way we understand a character. when listening to english, we hear the intricate ways of their tone and personalities work, and what kind of dialogue best flows with them (toji fushiguro is excluded from this. never listen to that man's english dub.).
when i was writing for bakugou- he's not the hardest character to understand, but with the help of the english dub, the dialogue that i wrote for him flowed a lot easier than if i had just tried to internalise his jp dub. he's gruff, and rude, and cocky, and his english va captures that in quite an adorable way! ofc you can never just ignore the original, the original is there to provide you the blueprint, but sometimes a little help explaining the blueprint goes a long way !!
characterisation can also be perfected through the subtle changes in dialogue that you see. a big part of character is how they talk, and even just the subtlest of changes can go far.
let me start with the example "this is a really bad idea."
if i were writing itoshi rin, then i would change the sentence fit to his speech and embody how he'd actually react to a 'bad idea'. he's curt, doesn't say more than necessary, and unashamed to be cold so he'd probably just say "this is stupid." before walking away LMAOO
if i were writing someone like gojo, then the sentence also changes too. he doesn't mind talking and adding more to his point, so i would write something like: "you sure? this doesn't seem like the brightest idea." and if i'm really trying to sell a romantic relationship, i'd add a 'sweetheart' there or something.
dialogue: this is a personalised experience, so as is everything in writing. i have been complimented on my flow and dialogue a lot of the time but in truth, i am merely having a conversation with myself in my head. i try to become the character i am writing about and then i just chat with myself :3 it can be that simple. dialogue does not need to be something you over-complicate, i am my own, ethical character.ai.
description and artistic expression: look, i can't say much on this one except that you're all on your own. i am still trying to perfect my own skills in this department because this is perhaps one of my most vexing parts of writing. i truly am just not... as poetic and imaginative as i want my words to be, but i am trying and i am improving.
my biggest tip regarding description and artistry is: if the reader can imagine it, you don't need to write it. you don't need to fill in the gaps with actual scenes, if your characters are walking through the park as a filler for getting from destination A to B, then that park scene does not need to be as descriptive as A or B. a mere 'you took a shortcut through the park' will suffice. or even better, just go straight from A to B.
say my 'A' scene is starting at a cafe, and my 'B' scene is going to the mall, you could just go 'calling for the waitress to get the bill, you then find yourself in the mall within 15 minutes'. spend time on the gaps that require a bridge to cross, not the gaps that you can merely step over.
these kind of things appear in your planning and admittedly, i don't even plan ROFLLL but i have primary scenes that i have sketched out which i sometimes add to. like spider webs, when going from one thread to another, sometimes the journey is not all that important if it does nothing for your plot.
again, i find inspiration in a lot of the writers i look up to. a recurring motif is something i love adding, whether that be dialogue or a recurring item that symbolises something (like the hairband in between love and lies - a nagi fic). techniques like motifs or an extended metaphor add a lot of depth in your writing that you can't find otherwise. you can also omit going too over the board with reader's emotions too, or just the character's. if it's obvious that they are angry, sad, happy, you don't need to go too far in detail about said emotions.
another so crucial thing is to take note of the things you see in real life and apply it in fiction. the most mundane of things you are doing can have beauty in words.
are you at the beach? why don't you take a look around. tell me about the people that sit on towels, minding their own business. tell me about the way the sun sits high in the sky, unforgiving and burning before going into the main plot.
are you sitting on a bench, killing time? tell me about the breeze you feel, or perhaps the heat that overwhelms you. tell me about what you hear- bikes, children laughing, whilst you're waiting for your date to show up- all of these minute things, so long as you don't go overboard, will matter a lot to the imagination of the reader!
# FOUR: TAKE CARE OF AND LOVE WHAT YOU WRITE
writing will always be hard :,) not a single draft goes by where i do not find inconsistencies and flaws, but i love them all the same. i love the drafts that i read over once and posted and i also love the drafts that i poured blood, sweat, and tears into. neither of them are more special to me because they were all born from a simple idea.
to look back on what you wrote and going 'i can do this better now' is beautiful, no? i love the end product for what i learnt on the way.
i know me giving this advice is kinda hypocritical because you'll find me going 'i hate this' in the tags, and you can choose to believe me or not, but i adore all of my stories the same. some of them i just hate that i couldn't give them the attention and love that they deserved, which shows through in the end quality. not that you guys seem to care, it's all in my head sometimes lMFAO.
# FIVE - KEEP THE POV CONSISTENT:
now we are getting to the tips that i've been learning myself recently. how funny is it that i learnt this whilst reading from a writer that i so admire?
whilst reading a long fic, i noticed that the flow is satisfying because there was no swap of perspectives. the character was in the focus the whole time and the reader was the reactor, the catalyst being the character's actions and internal dialogue. on the other hand, the reader's thoughts and feelings being in the spotlight can also be significant.
i had always known that keeping the pov consistent would influence your writing, but i never knew how much.
which pov you might want to choose is all intuitive. writing is intuitive- every other tip that i have revealed is all intuitive and i'll cover more of this later. more importantly right now, which perspective you want to execute is all on you, and no one else. if you know your character, your storyline, and your skills, you will simply know how the story shall go. it is just as powerful to write it from reader's pov as it is the character's because it comes from your knowledge and authority as the writer!
# SIX - LEAVE THE COMFORT ZONE:
this kind of returns to tip four. sometimes the only way to evolve is to do something we are bad at and that advice applies to writing too. writing is a path set by previous writers but it is not one that we have to follow all the time, why take a shortcut when the long way is prettier, and more rewarding? your journey of improvement is dependent on what you realise and give yourself opportunities to improve in.
for example, recently i have been trying to improve the depth of my descriptions and- don't laugh, but the way i've been doing so is as followed:
i input myself into the scenario, i empathise with the characters within the scene and i describe it. maybe it's emotional and the character can't look you in the eye because they don't have the heart to, not when their chest is filled with a smoke that is so unbearable that all they can focus on is not turning to ashes. maybe it's a happy scene and all you can look at is the character. maybe it's confronting, and the only thing you can think about is defending yourself against their clenched fists that will never actually hurt you, but you know damn well can break your walls in one swing. leave the comfort zone, write new au's and new dialogue pieces, write new metaphors and similes and use rhyme, listing, repetition- just try something new every time and let it be meaningful to the story.
# SEVEN - GIVE YOURSELF TIME.
like the growth of your muscles or the mobility of your limbs, or the way your hands flow along the canvas or keyboard, writing is a skill that can only be improved with time. fanfic writing is intuitive and completely reliant on your own tastes.
i can sit here, speak for ages about writing, but the only way you can learn is to do. i have people who see what i do and praise me for being one of their favourite writers, and as honoured as i am every time, i am merely born from the six years i have put into this craft, as well as the hours i put into writing and planning what they see. if you could see the behind the scenes, you would go 'what the fuck am i looking at' LMFAOO.
when i write and then i reread and i know what it is missing, but i cannot speak about this like it is easy, like i have not spent the past few years of my life consistently writing for various characters and growing along the way. to be fair, you don't need to take six years to get good at writing, it can be a very smooth process! i don't think i was the brightest cookie at 12 ngl but i took my characters and rewrote them into different scenarios and here i am today, at 18 and (marginally) better.
as long as the urge is there, worship it, take the step and write. then post, if that is a step you want to partake in. simple as that :)
that's all for now! sorry this is so long, now that you've reached the end, i just wanted to say that i have no authority over what you produce and how you do it. these are simply just things i've learned along the way and i hope they can provide you some sort of revelation.
#please read the last sentence too beyond NO.7 :<#reinforcing that i am not some writing mastermind so please take all of my advice with a grain of salt!#earf's inbox hours ✌️
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So excited to know that you also love Link Click...! I watched it first before JJK (I know, still kinda new in thw fandom), so Cheng Xiaoshi/ Lu Guang are special to me. And after 2nd season with that finale, wow, for me it feels like came out of a fanfic. So when I got to know Gojo/ Geto somehow they remind me of Cheng Xiaoshi/ Lu Guang, cause both couples are doomed by the narative....
And what do you think after you finished TGCF? Have you read the novels? Just so you know, it is worth it to collect the books. Their story is that good. Also when you finished it, most likely you'll also have some non-canon fav couples (I have 4 non canon fav couples from TGCF)....And have you watch MDZS or SVSSS?
Sorry for my rambling, MXTX is one of my favorite author ever and I like to talk about their works. (And now I'm still depressed with the latest JJK update and nervous with the BNHA update)......
OMG SEASON TWO FINALE OF LINK CLICK ABSOLUTELY SLAYED ME. Lu Guang, the enigma that you are. This whole time!? What a damn reveal! Just thinking about it, tbh, I'm gagged. I like to guess at things, obviously, but just never even fathomed.
I don't know if I'd mentioned that before RE: Gojo and Geto but same. It might be on an anime recommendation draft 😅 Like, sure, their character design is an obvious indication but it's really all the anguish bubbling just beneath the surface. And now I need to read all the source material because I'm not sure I can wait for them to animate (even though the animation is just 😘👌🏾
For background on my experience while watching TGCF, there are a lot of cultural/religious things that were completely out of my current realm of understanding re: ascension, conditions/relation of the supernatural beings discussed, etc. but I was still able to really enjoy it without and prompted curiosity to learn more before jumping into the novels. Like, having watched and read media informed by Japanese culture (and growing up on Inuyasha), you understand the idea of youkai, general types and their dispositions, even some religious aspects to practices by priestesses and even everyday people, etc. so it's a little easier to navigate. So getting into Chinese media of a certain time period where those beliefs and practices inform the story was a challenge but it also just kind of opens your eyes to how much you don't know which is exciting. I absolutely want to check out the books because I need to know Xie Lian's whole origin (including his 17th birthday and his parents backstory) and what transpired to have created the delicate soft spot San Lung has for him. I hadn't heard of SVSSS yet but MDZS is on my TBW and I'm wondering if watching it will help clarify my confusion from TGCF or if I should do some research ahead of time so I'm not as lost.
Never apologize, I love when people are inspired and passionate! Lol and makes the conversation I have with you guys feel less one sided (with my disproportionate essay responses haha). 💛 I'm sure I'll post when I start watching/reading any of the above so we can reconvene! I'm currently finishing up Stars Align and, from what I've gathered might need to add this to my TBR to get a satisfactory end to things, too. 😭
I've been running on an empty battery lately so Tumblr's really the only social media platform I've been consistently perusing and posting on (RIP to twitter, insta and tiktok, ig). The upside of this being that I see JJK and BNHA leaks less frequently so I'm out here living in ignorant bliss ✨ So if you're out in these virtual streets, be safe out there, anon!
#neon asks#anon asks#anime#manga#donghua#manhua#danmei#tgcf#tian guan ci fu#heaven officials blessing#hob#link click
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I am, as usual, late lol, but Y'KNOW. This is gonna be a long, rambly post lol, sorry, I have a lot of thoughts.
2023 was a weird year for me, artwise. When it began I was still deep in my Art Block From Hell, which had begun in mid-2021 and lasted the entirety of 2022.
Being in the thick of such a ridiculously suffocating art block, for TWO AND A HALF YEARS, is like... I can't describe how fucking life-draining it is. It felt like something was fundamentally wrong with me -- like a part of me, which used to be as effortless as breathing or blinking my eyes, had ceased to function altogether. It wasn't just a regular art block, it was a complete identity crisis. I could no longer trust the instincts I'd honed over twenty-plus years, could no longer trust my sense of observation or my ability to recreate what I saw. I felt BROKEN, and every single time I picked up my tablet pen it was like I was scraping my insides with a spoon, trying to pick up whatever tiny dregs of dried-up, crusty shit I could manage to puke up onto my canvas. It was fucking painful and humiliating and completely demoralizing.
I'm not really sure what finally got me to do so, but sometime in summer (my memory is shit lol) I downloaded Game Maker, found a video tutorial on youtube, and just... gave myself over to it. I made myself learn how to use Aseprite, and working with pixels, making teeny-tiny little sprites, forced me to work in ways I usually don't. It was a lot harder for me to find the flaws in my art when my art was thirty-five pixels tall and the anatomy was stylized to communicate clear information rather than be a recreation or approximation of reality. I think I really do credit that time working on game dev as the thing that finally cracked loose all the gunk that was keeping me stuck -- I could not perpetuate the cycle of toxicity I'd fallen into because I could barely even conceptualize what 'good' or 'bad' pixel art even looked like lol. I just knew that I was making art, and for the first time in two years, it didn't feel like I was having to desperately beg the emaciated husks of my sense of self-worth and confidence to cooperate while doing so.
(I actually sort of abandoned my foray into game dev around August/September lol, as my adhd-brain, flitting around like a little hummingbird to every dopamine-rich-flower, is wont to do 🥲 But I wanna get back into it at some point!)
From there I had a rush of inspiration for an original project I've been mulling around in my head for years, and I wrote thousands of words in my worldbuilding document, made a map, developed the shell of a possible actual STORY. I returned to sketching. Conventional sketching. It was, at first, largely still comprised of that same demotivating struggle against myself, but I was so deep in the throes of inspiration (after several years of this project laying dormant in my google drive) that I NEEDED to sketch. So I kept going. And after a while, it got....... easier. And I started hating everything I made a little less. I painted, properly, for the first time in years. I stayed up late into the night, even if it meant I would be tired at work the next day, because drawing felt so damn GOOD again and I had missed that feeling so much. All I wanted to do was draw. For the first time in two and a half years, I could finally see the light at the end of the fucking tunnel.
I still don't think I'm quite out of the woods yet. My style is changing, as all artists' styles do over time, and that comes with stumbling adjustments. My confidence is still small and shaky and recovering; I still catch myself second-guessing what I've drawn, and even looking at some of the things here on my grid makes me cringe a little bit for one reason or another.
But compared to both 2021 and 2022, the volume of art, and in particular the volume of art I don't actively despise, is WAY higher, and I'm really really hopeful that that means I'm finding my footing again.
So! Here's to 2024, and to continuing to move towards the light at the end of the tunnel 🙏🌟 I'm gonna try.
#art vs artist#art vs artist 2023#my art#skella's ugly mug#I actually did an art vs artist in 2021 but I only ever posted it on facebook lol I wasn't confident enough to post it anywhere else#purple and orange/yellow continues to be my favorite color pallet apparently#sorry not sorry for being sappy on my own blog <3333#long post
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2024년 한국어 목표; Korean Language Goals
With my study abroad date coming closer and closer (only 19 days away ㅇ.ㅇ), I figured it was time to share some of my language/Korean specific goals for the year!
These aren't all of the things I want to "accomplish" for the year, and some are long-term while others are short-term goals, but it felt better to have something physical to look at to remind me of what I am aiming to do this year and have my thoughts organized.
The hardest thing about this is reminding myself (Hi, if you don't know me, I fear academic failure and set high expectations for myself), that it will be okay if I do these things only partially or if something didn't quite meet my expectations that it is okay.
There are some things that I want to aim for as a personal milestone that I didn't list here in an attempt to NOT overwhelm myself to get it done.
(Like trying to read Harry Potter in Korean, because 1. I am NOT at that level yet, and that will take quite the time to go through and 2. I want to buy the book second hand because JK Rowling is a bitch and I don't know yet where I could thrift the book while in Korea. Mostly want to read it because it is a book that I read over and over again as a child so the concepts/ideas/plot is familiar, just not the nuanced vocabulary and grammar)
So I am viewing this less so as a list of things to do before the year ends, and more as a set of remiders, affirmations, and sources for me to review throughout the year as I am abroad and expanding my use and knowledge of Korean.
There is so much to say about my goals and views of langauge learning, but I don't want to make this my longest post ever, so maybe some other day I will share some of my more abstract goals in another post.
Anyways, enough rambling, here's what is listed in my journal:
Listen to Korean podcasts
Become comfrotable reading short stories + news articles
Journal more often in Korean
Annotate + break down THREE songs in Korean (*not in my journal, but the goal is to understand, memorize, and practice reading speed and listening with this)
Read + annotate one book in Korean
Try learning AT LEAST 10 new words a week (*I see this one either not lasting long or turning more into 10 words every OTHER week lol)
Review each month what you've learned (*just trying to go back and refresh myself on things that I learned recently but may not have had the chance to put into practical use often)
Other notes:
Use your resoruces! I have so many Korean books and websites/apps saved, and I will use them for about a week before I forget they exist, so this is my reminder to look at them a little more often!
If you know how to say it, say it! Don't hesitate! The amount of times my friends and I have decided to speak in Korean to each other only to say something in English and then quickly realize we 100% know how to say that in AT LEAST broken Korean :/. Or when my professor would ask us to share what we did this weekend in Korean and think that my sentence or phrase is wrong, only for someone else to say something similar and realize I actually knew how to say it. Better to try and maybe be wrong and get corrected than to not try at all and learn nothing.
Keep it simple, but try to build your sentences! Actually a reminder from my Korean professor lol! If you don't know how to say it, look it up of course, but you can't pull out your phone in every conversation you have! Sometimes it is easier to keep it simple and short and others it's great to build on and connect where you can. The whole point of my last class was to work on using connectors and conjuctions for our sentences to lengthen them, but it's not always possible. Some days it is just easier to say 네 or 아 그래요 and move on if you know what I mean.
Any progress is good! There have been multiple times this year where I have literally gone to Korean tutoring and forgotten every Korean word I know and beat myself up over the fact that I feel like I "failed". Simply put, I burn out too quickly sometimes and take the minor victories for granted. Celebrate anytime you can when it comes to remembering a small vocab word or how to order food in Korean!
Consistency is Key! Seems obvious, but one summer in between semesters I didn't study Korean for at least a month and wanted to cry when I tried to self study again before the new semester because that sense of failure was kicking in and I couldn't remember a lot of what I had been practicing. Even if it is just reviewing vocab, watching a youtube video in Korean, or even a K-drama, consistency is key when it comes to learning. It doesn't have to be a lot, just something.
Explore ways to learn, make it fun for you! I have only been learning Korean for almost 2 years now, and now that I am going abroad I'm realizing that I will be in much more different situations in terms of school and socializing, so how I experience Korean is going to be different for a little while. This is just a reminder to take advantage of fun opportunities and see where and when you can learn Korean.
You're probably doing better than you think you are. Don't stress. I feel like nothing needs to be said here, but if you look at where you started versus where you are now I am sure the distance is actually farther than it seems.
#korean langblr#studyblr#study korean#langauge goals#journaling#journal entry#i don't journal often please don't judge my notebook lol#i got new pens they're great my hand tremor just says fuck you#korean#langblr#language learning
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