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doobea · 8 months

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WAKE ME UP WHEN SEPTEMBER ENDS - RIN ITOSHI

synopsis: You realize that under his seven layers of unresolved teenage angst, Rin Itoshi is extremely sensitive, whether he wants to admit it or not.

contents: sfw, fluff, convos about growing up, gn!reader, proplayer!rin, play fighting!!, rin is kinda awk but its cute, first kiss and a lil bit suggestive but not really?, a birthday fic :) word count: 1.5K a/n: did i rush home to try and make a birthday fic for one of my favorite boys?? yea maybe. and goodbye i know his bday isn't today and im a day early but i wanna just drop this as an early celebration just so i can post sae on his actual birthday bc im secretly evil

Being Rin's one and only best friend comes with a lot of growing pains. Whether it be constantly receiving threats from his "super fans", always having to show up to his games just to drive him back home because he insists that he's too tired to walk back, or having to hear him vent about how absolutely shitty his older brother is.

And, much to no one's surprise, that dynamic hasn't changed even after becoming one of the nation's highest-praised athletes. And yes, he still insists you to drive him because he claims that his own private drivers "suck ass".

But there are some positive outlooks of being his one and only best friend. No, it's not the fact that you get free tickets to his games or the fact that you essentially eat for free whenever you're out with him. It's nothing materialistic of that sort. One of your favorite things is that he always picks up your packages, even when you order just a bit too much.

"You're going to break your bank account if you keep this up."

"It's your birthday. How can I not celebrate?"

There's a click from his tongue. "You know I hate celebrations."

You sit up from the sofa, flashing him the tiniest of smirks. "It's just gonna be between us. I'm not planning on inviting anyone over."

Rin rolls his eyes before setting down the mountain of delivery packages onto his apartment floor. It looks to be about eight... no twelve? You honestly lost track of how many items you ordered but not like that matters now. The packages vary in size and you can tell by the scowl forming on his face that he's confused by what you have in store this year.

"They're decorations, you dumb dumb." You finally answer after watching him struggle to think.

This only deepens his scowl. "It's my birthday and you want me to decorate?"

"Oh, so now you wanna play that card? Thought you didn't care about your birthday." The kick you receive to your legs is a clear indicator that you've successfully annoyed Rin Itoshi. Which really doesn't take that much effort, but it's still fun to tease him nonetheless. "Are you gonna help me now?"

Rin opens one of the smaller boxes, pulls out a roll of blue streamers, and puffs out his cheeks slightly in frustration. "Where do I put this?"

You blink. "Have you never decorated before?"

You watch his ears turn red and he quickly responds, "I have, idiot."

"You just—" Rin struggles with the streamers and you suppress a laugh when he accidentally tears a ribbon in half. "Actually, never mind, just leave it to me."

He takes a few defensive steps back when you stand up, clutching the streamer close and dear to his chest, shooting you one of his piercing glares. "Stop, I know what I'm doing."

"For someone who's so careful about his actions in football, you sure are clumsy when it comes to anything outside of that." The scrunch on his nose only solidifies your point.

You don't quite understand how someone like Rin can have such a meticulous lifestyle but then mess up when attempting to parallel park or even fry an egg. You're mostly teasing though. Mostly. It's not like any of his "clumsy" actions bother you.

"I made a birthday card for my mom once." He says as if that's enough proof to prove that he actually does know how to decorate. "It's on her fridge."

"Yeah? The one with the shitty drawing of you and Sae hugg—"

"You can stop now."

The blue streamer rolls to the ground as you lunge forward and smack it out of his hands. Rin is annoyed, very annoyed, and attempts to playfully aim at your shin again. You let him but this time around you push him back, aiming for his chest.

Rin is taller and stronger than you are but, during times like this, he holds back just enough for you to take the upper hand. Only for a brief moment that is.

You give up as soon as he pins you beneath him on the floor. "Ok," You manage out. "You win, you win."

Rin loosens his grip on your wrists and rolls over next to you. "That's what I thought."

After what feels like an eternity laying in silence on the floor, you speak up, letting your tongue run. "You know that I’m secretly jealous of you, right?"

His body shifts slightly from your peripheral but you keep your eyes glued to the ceiling. "Jealous how?"

"I don’t know how you do it but you always end up looking like some hotshot supermodel even with all that sweat. Too bad people don’t know that you’re actually so emo that it hurts." Despite saying it in a teasing tone, your lips curve into a small sincere smile. You didn't need to see his face to know that he was also smiling.

Another kick. "Shut up, you sound so dramatic right now."

You kick back but with less force. Too tired out from the struggle earlier. "Says the guy who wants to beat up his brother over football."

Silence hangs in the air again. And suddenly you become hyperaware of his proximity, the scent from the cologne he's wearing, and how melancholic he looks from your angle.

"Are you ever scared of growing up?" Rin's sudden question makes you sit up. "I think about that more often than I like."

You tense for a moment at his words and quickly collect your thoughts, shaking your head. "There's nothing scary about growing up. Think about all the cool things you got to experience. You accomplished a lot compared to when you were sixteen."

He hums. "That's true."

"And think about all the cooler things you haven't experienced yet. Like scuba diving and shit."

"What if I can't swim?"

"Then you take swimming lessons, dummy."

"Also true." He pauses and finally sits up with you. "You'll still be around, right?" Rin stares with his usual tight line on his lips but his eyes seem to be searching for something in yours. He looks very serious and also mildly stressed out.

You realize that under his seven layers of unresolved teenage angst, Rin Itoshi is extremely sensitive, whether he wants to admit it or not.

"Hey," You offer a hand on his shoulder and he flinches at the contact. "As long as you're around, I'm gonna be around too." You say softly.

He holds your hand in place and squeezes it. "Even when we're both old and wrinkly?"

You squeeze his shoulder in response. "Definitely gonna stick around to see that."

There’s silence again for a minute, as he thinks it over. It’s not quite as awkward of a silence, but it’s still not entirely right. You're mentally preparing for another round of existential questions from your best friend. After a moment, Rin's leaning forward, instinctively pressing closer, and there’s something happening between you two. Some weird shift taking place.

Skinship of any form isn't something that Rin is comfortable exploring with just anyone. The most that he's gotten physical with is maybe a hug but even that lasts for just a fleeting second. You find yourself reciprocating and leaning close, relishing the fact that he doesn't do this often. And soon, you feel the sudden urge to kiss your best friend.

"Hey—Rin, do you..." You stumble over your words, but the way that you say his name catches his attention.

"Yes." He cuts you off before you get a chance to finish.

Rin leans in and you meet him halfway. Your noses bump awkwardly against each other due to the height difference and it causes you to laugh. Rin looks like he wants to be embarrassed and annoyed but he ends up laughing too. You two try again, shuffling yourself closer and placing your hands on his thighs to steady yourself, and this time it's better.

There's a bit of mint aftertaste left in his mouth from the gum he was chewing earlier and you didn't know if you should feel self-cautious of your own breath because you're pretty sure it tastes like the cereal you had this morning. You quickly decide it's out of your worries when you feel his hands around your waist, pulling you closer into his lap and deepening the kiss further.

Rin calls out your name when he pulls back and you're positive that you could pass out right now if you're given the option. "Stop looking at me like that." He frowns, red sweeping his own cheeks.

You swallow hard and tilt your head. "Like what?"

"Like you're nervous to be around me. I don't want that."

You feel yourself growing small under his touch. "Then what do you want, Rin?"

He furrows his brows together and you feel his fingers toy with the fabric of your shirt. Rin does this for a while before answering, "I just want you to stay by my side for as long as you can. Is that possible?" He whispers.

"If it's impossible then I'll make it possible for you, Rin." You close the distance and rest your chin on his shoulder. "I'll give you all my seasons if you want them."

You don't hear anything from Rin but soon his grip tightens around your waist and you swear you can hear him sniffling. You pretend to not notice. God knows what he'll do if you catch him crying. Instead, you close your eyes and rub his back gently in circles.

"Happy birthday, Rin."

#blue lock #bllk #blue lock imagines #bllk x reader #blue lock x reader #doobea writing #blue lock headcanons #rin itoshi #itoshi rin #rin itoshi x reader #itoshi rin x reader #happy birthday u dumbfuck #how long r we gonna wait till you show up again #bye idk what the title should be #i just know his bday is this month #and i know this song...#and that hes major virgo vibes

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ruumirmir · 3 months

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𝙰 𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚟𝚘𝚒𝚌𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚜 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝙿𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚎'𝚜 𝚍𝚊𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚝𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞, T𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚏 𝚊 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 Part I Part II (coming soon)

ੈ♡˳ Author's◇ note - Haha what if I pretended my shamelessly OCfied male reader was a character :))) Here's to me doing everything possible to build up my "reader" lore. Everything except actually drawing and naming him 😭 If you're curious about previous posts regarding my mans, you could skim over These!! Me when writing this: im gonna make up SO MUCH BULLSHIT about snezhnaya and the other harbingers.

𝘝𝘰𝘪𝘤𝘦 : ENG - Stephen Fu (Noe Archiviste from Vanitas no Carte) JP - Kento Ito (Dan Heng from Honkai Star Rail)

𝘉𝘪𝘳𝘵𝘩𝘥𝘢𝘺 : October 19

𝘈𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 : Northland Bank of the Fatui

𝘝𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 : Hydro

𝘊𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 : Cygnus Venatici (The Hunting Swan)

A senior branch manager of Snezhnaya’s Northland bank. As a fatuus, he is formally well-known as the Venator Dux, who mans the Snezhnayan Order of Gold and Exchange founded by the Ninth Harbinger. He hunts in pursuit of the Tsar's vision, but his loyalties are far removed from her.

𝘝𝘰𝘪𝘤𝘦-𝘖𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴

𝘏𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘰 Ah, the renowned traveller, in the flesh. A visitor to each of the seven nations, while your reputation has run across the continent twice over. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance. If you've heard of the Snezhnayan Order of Gold and Exchange, that'd be me who's in charge of it. I am one of the agents within Lord Regrator's primary circle of officials, so you may address me as Venator dux.

𝘊𝘩𝘢𝘵: 𝘐𝘮𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 I've been in my respective position for over a decade now, and for the last 3 - 4 years have come across choice tales surrounding your name. A big fan of your work, really! Lord Regrator has had his interest piqued for a while now... so for the sake of civilized peace and alliance, let's get along... shall we? Try not to cause any trouble and I might consider putting in a good word for you.

𝘊𝘩𝘢𝘵: 𝘋𝘶𝘵𝘺 𝘉𝘦𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘋𝘦𝘴𝘬𝘴 A large bulk of my work is centered around days of scrawling pen over paper... but really, one can only digest hefty documents for so long. I've had my fill for many years on end-... now, I'd prefer to partake in more physical tasks.

𝘊𝘩𝘢𝘵: 𝘛𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 I fear the new batch of rookies are growing too lax in their combat training… perhaps it was my uninspiring teaching method today. As a Venator, it simply won’t do to disappoint them. Traveller, would you help a man out and join the session today? The trainees could do with a fresh perspective on things.

𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘐𝘵 𝘙𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘴

No shelter to be seen... here's to praying that you don't catch a cold. Oh don't worry about me, I seldom get sick.

𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘛𝘩𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘚𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘬𝘦𝘴 I've always wondered how the real clap of thunder would feel in comparison to a shock of electro. Unless you want to volunteer for that, watch your step.

𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘐𝘵 𝘚𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘴 Eh... I've seen it once, I've seen it a thousand times. That being said, the nights that are covered in an impossibly slow curtain of snowfall are some of the rarer times I stop to admire it.

𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘚𝘶𝘯 𝘐𝘴 𝘖𝘶𝘵 Finally. Some real warmth to my face. I am but a simple man, languishing like a wilted flower in the absence of our sun's blazing gaze.

𝘐𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘋𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘵 Actually... I think I might just prefer the miserable winter cold over this.

𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘞𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘐𝘴 𝘉𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘨 What's with the aggressive breeze today? Does the Anemo archon have bills to pay?

𝘎𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘔𝘰𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 Good morning. I was about to stop by the city lake on my way to the bank and feed the local geese. You can come along if you'd like. Keep your distance from Tatiana though. She bites.

𝘎𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘈𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘰𝘰𝘯 On a slow lazy day, I'd be waking up around noon. Fortunately, the weekend is right around the corner, so I can do just that.

𝘎𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘌𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 Although the Northland "bank" closes to the public by evening, the building itself stays open till midnight for other classified affairs. So I may as well make the most of my break time before I'm needed again.

𝘎𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘕𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 Oh, I must've lost track of time. It's quite late into the night, so before I go, let me walk you back to whatever establishment you're staying at... Oh, uh- I'm... not sure I heard you correctly. You said you live... inside... a teapot...?

𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘝𝘦𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳: 𝘚𝘯𝘦𝘻𝘩𝘯𝘢𝘺𝘢𝘯 𝘖𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘎𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘌𝘹𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦 It was the very first decree of order at the hands of Lord Regrator when he came into power as a Harbinger many years ago; to inaugurate a faction dedicated to rearing the potential he painstakingly carved into the foundations of the Northland bank. It is just as the name implies. An executive body responsible for developing economic policies and providing regulation, consulting, and forecasting of socioeconomic and business development, ranging from simple roadside shops to production factories-Oh, have I lost you? Haha... don't apologize, I've seen that expression a couple times before. In simple terms: we help run the nation's cycle of mora, trade system, and citizen’s businesses.

𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘝𝘦𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳: 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘏𝘶𝘯𝘵 [Unlocked at Friendship Lv. 4] The title bestowed upon me, Venator Dux, signifies not just leadership but mastery over a successful hunt- or in some cases, a successful business strategy. The master hunter requires a discerning eye, a mind that can decipher the intricate patterns woven by our adversaries. Information is our ammunition, and knowledge is the silent arrow that strikes before the prey even realizes the hunt has begun.

𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘜𝘴: 𝘗𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘈𝘳𝘵𝘴 Various forms of dance and song are the lifeblood of Snezhnaya’s festivals. During fall, you’ll find multiple dance troupes and clowns passing each village, town, and city to perform. I personally look forward to the dancers.

𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘜𝘴: 𝘓𝘰𝘺𝘢𝘭𝘵𝘺 [Unlocked at Friendship Lv. 6] Your little companion has stuck with you since day one? Truly? That is… a highly admirable trait, one that I will always stand by. Loyalty is not a mere pledge, it anticipates the unspoken desires of another; a commitment that transcends the superficial bonds of allegiance. I keep this ideal close to my heart... for only a single person.

𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘝𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 I was hesitant to use a delusion in the first place, so frankly, I’m glad to have been gifted this for whatever reason I was found worthy of. However… Lord Regrator harbours an uncanny dislike for my vision. It’s not something that has been brought up, but I can read between the lines.

𝘚𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘚𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘦 You didn’t hear it from me, but I encourage the employees at the bank to keep a list of all the infuriating and rude customers. It’s to spice up all the sparring and combat practice sessions by naming and dressing up the dummies as people they’d like to kick- Ha!

𝘐𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 This wintry climate is harsh and unsustainable for various flora and fauna. The Charmomila flower doesn’t care about any of that. They’ll grow in obnoxious places if they want to. The real deal comes from the summer butterflies that feast on its nectar. After a while their wings turn a beautiful honey-yellow, which are harvested and brewed into the sweetest and most expensive nonalcoholic beverage you’ll find around here. I enjoy a glass of one semi-regularly on work mornings.

𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘙𝘦𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳: 𝘈𝘷𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘦 [Unlocked at Friendship Lv. 6] He will have my sincere respect, always. Lord Regrator has built his empire up from a scratch in the dirt, something impossible to do were he a lesser man. His sacrifices of blood, sweat, and tears has bled into the policies that the bank stands on today. Money breeds imbalance and power, which in turn grants freedom and recognition if you are on the right side of the coin. Regrator is a utilizing man and he guards what’s his, zealously. He will take and take until his arms sag with the weight, and uphold his promise to give out the correct equivalents because he lets his value of fair exchange lead him like a vice. For as long as he stays true to his greed, I will be the hand that reaches forward to grasp what he desires.

𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘙𝘦𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳: 𝘋𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘶𝘮 [Unlocked at Friendship Lv. 6] Lord Regrator expects a strict level of decorousness from everyone working under his name- from me to even the most forgotten grunts. It's nothing outrageous of course. You would only ever see the metaphorical boot-licking than a literal one. I find it a bit much sometimes but the public eye is nothing to scoff at. Especially to a man of his status. The Snezhnayan dvoryane make up more than a third of the Northland Bank's clientele- not to mention the stakes a couple of them have invested. And if there is anything that those feather-headed fools care about, it's posh theatrics. *Sigh* Still... I quite enjoy falling in step with Pantalone's politesse. He has a beautiful manner of speech that I've never been able to measure up to.

𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘙𝘦𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳: 𝘈𝘭𝘭 𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘎𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴 [Unlocked at Friendship Lv. 6] …Why do I feel like you’re trying to fish for critical information...? Fine- I'll concede. It's your head on the line anyways. Lord Regrator is a big player in the system of underground businesses that connect Nathan and Snezhnaya. Technically it could be called a black market, but it’s mainly run by a small council of social elites from both nations. There are occasional hosted auctions, that my lord targets to buy out priceless artifacts from. I’m talking about lost pieces of history and endangered caged beasts over items with resell value. Now… with that being said, as long as this secret remains safe… so do you. It’s always me who’s dispatched to make sure it stays that way.

#➳❥ Ooh Lover Boy #pantalone #genshin #genshin impact #fatui #fatui harbingers #pantalone genshin #genshin impact headcanons #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #pantalone x reader #pantalone x male reader #genshin impact fatui #➳❥ Rumour writes #➳❥ rumour says #genshin imagines

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colinoodles · 3 months

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the magnus protocol is so good i cant

second episode's statement feels both like an expansion on the slaughter and its ties to music and arts / wild passion but it's also very focused on the flesh and the perfection of self and i'm not even at what I assume to be the big twist yet but this feels like mastery over your series' concepts. also martin and jon being the TTS is unspeakably cool but the fuckn Implications. like I'm pretty sure it's because they've opened the floodgates in MAG300 and they're like. a part of the eye now? maybe??? but I feel like it makes sense. I hope they show up in reports or something. and in person ofc

idk if sam trying to piece together the system hints to a gertrude equivalent of shtick being misfiled on purpose? colin definitely knows more about it though (hes got my name!!!!). lena definitely hits the elias vibe but feels very much less insidious. i feel like drawing parallels might be a reckless move but I can see so many of them. like, alice has the willingly skeptic vibe that jon had.

oh also I love the character focus. the original is definitely more of a slow burn in that regards which makes it very difficult for me to not gush about to the friends i'm introducing TMA to, but this is wonderful.

it feels significant that teddy is allowed to leave in the first episode. makes me think the OIAR isn't affiliated with the eye/ not as much as the archives, might be because of the lack of jonah magnus? also gwen wanting to take lena's place and stuff definitely foreshadows SOMETHING and I am scared as hell.

im still on the 'the archives failed their ritual due to the lightless flame' theory train but i'm very intrigued by the archives still fighting back against intruders.

canaries should stay above ground is very fucked, i love it, i think it's interesting the eye actually made someone STOP seeing for once though. also the dates of the posts built tension so efficiently I loved that so much. the different report formats and the heavy breach of privacy add so much flavor to the horror. also that box redcanary took is absolutely the web box thing right?

speaking of the web, the listening devices are so good. i doubt they're web-related this time, especially if the archives are not as important this time around, but the fact they're just following you is horrible.

i don't know to what extend the eye is 'stronger' because of the TMA ritual or if it's even canon to the TMP series but I feel like the eye is much more insidious and I don't know if it's because it's desperate due to the destruction of the archives or if it's a manifestation of it's dominance over the other fears? I do hope the TMP universe is one of the many made to be consumed after the fear in TMA world dried up completely though, that would be very cool and that is personally why I think martin and jon show up as text-to-speech.

i think I should do more unhinged rant posts tbh, i'm sorry it's disorganized to any hypothetical readers though, it's very much hastily typed thoughts I haven't exactly very much expanded upon. i've got doubts anyone is gonna actually see this but i do really wanna talk about it so if anything is confusing ask me about it or something. might clean this up later anyways

#the magnus protocol #the magnus archives #tma spoilers #tmp spoilers #spoilers

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shiny-miltank · 15 days

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why hello old friends, you’ve found me once again (it wasn’t a secret really lol). to start off myello. sorry for disappearing off the Mewcrew blog. It gets all kinda wordy so it’s under a readmore.

Long story short I suffered from a mental Illinois(tm) spiral of depression, work exhaustion, undiagnosed/untreated adhd and big time imposter syndrome + burnout. Zoom into today I’ve been in therapy for my big time sads with some new perspectives and management, got some adhd meds, my job quit on me (long story) so now I’m slinging it freelance artist style and seeing how it goes, and back with family cause living alone was expensive and very Not Good for my brain it turned out. Still working on new changes and learning about the anxious smorgasbord up in the head.

Now there’s still no guarantee? That Mewcrew stuff is going to come back in full force like it did. Im still trying to like it again cause I do miss them. It took a long time and effort just to draw them for the wips I got going in the bg after like the three years leaving. Tbh the blog became something I didn’t want and instead of casual, low effort, funny not serious Just Roomates on misadventures in a pink void comic it became long hours of planning and plotting and rendering and feeling it wasn’t enough with my nasty soup of brain ick continuing to make me feel bad for not keeping up with a constant pace and comparing my work to the artists around me (again it was my brain funguses making reality hard-no one else. The artists around me back then were legit the nicest peeps around-still are). I’m also still really nervous and anxious around big communities that seemed to have sprung up HELLO ALL OF YOU LOL. I remember when it was just three of us xD And I still have to sit with my imposter syndrome and understanding I have things to offer that people do want to see and to stop anxieties from comparing my work to others.

So for now if I am posting Mewcrew stuff it’s mostly going to be here on my main from now on and not an individual blog (me figuring it’s just a lot of effort to keep up with so many blogs and logins, I think any new project or direction I go is just gonna be slapped on my main from now on. The less effort the better for my energy.). It’ll be sporadic and in a much different direction that was more akin to what I wanted it to be and much more casual comedy (or my flat sense of humor-I’ll laugh at knock knock jokes fr) slice of life with very little, even parody “plot”. And most of it until im comfortable with releasing complete mewcrew/mewtwo content will be on my patreon with again spurts of it here on tumblr and on my other socials. And if any of you come into my inbox saying I’m paywalling my own content AGAIN I will come for your kneecaps no joke you are NOT entitled to my work ESPECIALLY when this is now my main form of income. Anything on my patreon is /extra/ and early works and for peeps who choose to/want to and or capable of supporting me. That was literally the final straw that made me take a step out way back then: there’s still somebody behind the screen please remember that. This is just for my anxieties and getting comfortable with my characters again at a slow pace👍 I do miss everyone I use to interact with and want to be part of the bigger community here that’s sprouted up. Just gotta walk slowly with my social anxiety and other things first.

Thanks for reading and choosing to stick around if you do!

#lechetxt #lots of brain soup problems here #but hello again pals 👋 it’s been awhile!#and hello to new folks 👍

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chiangyorange · 3 months

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You ever think about how Isles added a. Checks notes. Goddess of flow. Because I think about that.

thank fuck isles canonically is not a real realm that exists

nah but fr tho i DO actually have quite a few thoughts on how isles fits in to the overall narrative of mianite being such a strange offshoot compared to s1 and s2 read more if u want, i will say that its gonna get rambly and also im going to drop a few of my design notes about the isles gods specifically if that interests you

i have been piecing together lore via friends and the mianite wiki (which is a fucking dumpster fire for anyone that's trying to look for a specifics in lore but i digress) so not everything people may care about will feature in here (like the whole light/dark thing. gandus, she shadows, w/e im just focusing on the overall story. sorry but there is only so much i can handle atm) i DO actually think that isles is really interesting despite my initial dislike for it towards the end (yes yes ik but i can admit that i was a little. too indulgent of myself at the time) ANYWAY i think isles was some sort of like... fucked up puzzle box reality???? of the s1 world because there are just SO many references to s1 like ianites heart being stolen and dianite slowly becoming more demon-like and all those theories way back when of isles really being s-1 like its a prequel of s1 world which i think its semi true?? basically my thoughts are; isles is an offshoot mimic world intended to emulate the life of the s1 gods in their youth for whatever reason, and in their timeloop is trying to create a trap? a new world? essentially perfect the mannerisms and legitimacy of a real realm like the realm of mianite and the realm of ruxomar. why tom n jordan got pulled into it interrupting the timeloop for a moment, who knows. (also in reflection? thats so fucked up and rude to karl like king is trapped in a timeloop for no goddamn reason) the 4th god is weird tho and i hated every minute of it stop trying to make trio into 4 challenge (impossible, apparently) i choose to believe that the 4th god thing only happened because of fucked up timeloop interruption consequence ONTO MY DESIGN NOTES

so. you probably noticed that their hands have visible joints like a doll or a marionette puppet. that is entirely intentional bc i legit think the isles gods are not real and instead constructs made with to have god-like powers. (shameless plug to the og post here if you wanna see every design ive made of the gods layed out all at once)

each design is supposed to be just a little uncanny like with all of them having pupils compared to the s1 and s2 gods who i draw them without. their smiles are a little too wide to match with their eyes. the green and red of ianite and dianite's eyes are a little too bright and noxious. overall i really wanted them to look as unsettling as possible if you imagine them limp and slumped over like a broken doll and theyre all dressed in something that is a little too perfect you know? like mianite looks like a friend you meet in the town square, ianite looks like a damsel princess, dianite is a handsome prince, like theyre all dressed a little too royal from a classic fairytale-- theyre too good to be true.

augh i think i have more to say but theres already so much in this one post that ill save it for another time

#i have cannot shut the fuck up disease #mianite #chiangy answers

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sad-leon · 8 months

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Hello! I hope you're having a good day!

So many people in my life seem to be going through something right now, and I just wanted to give you an opportunity to share anything you might be going through. Good or bad, as specific or as vague as you're comfortable with. Or feel free to ignore if you'd rather not. No pressure at all!

I hope things are going well for you! But if not, I'll be sending prayers your way if you're comfortable with that!

I am... not.

and i haven't for a long time

I'll preface this entire post with a warning: THIS IS A VENT POST the only tags will be trigger warnings

I thinks i've said it once or twice, but I started school this year. This is my first year in college after taking a gap year and also telling everyon i wasnt gonna go. I know jack shit about what im doing and its fucking exhausting. Theres so many things that i feel like I should know but dont because all the college information given out in my highschool was geared toward the college in that town specifically, which is not the college im going to.

I've also moved. im entirely on my own, physically and financially. I just met with my job and am starting very soon which is not good because my sleep schedule is all wrong. I may be switching jobs soon, but i can't just quit becuase, like i said, im on my own.

and those are only the big two. lets speedrun this. my anxiety, my autism, i need new glasses, my feet hurt more than i think they should, im a system, my eating disorder, my aversions that make it hard to drink the water up here, the burnout, the exhaustion, executive dysfunction, i also likely have adhd which mean rsd. im touch starved and touch adverse

those are just what i can think of off the top of my head

but all of this had been leading to what might be a pretty nasty breakdown and soon.

im so fucking tired all the time and that makes it hard to draw, but thats one of my only ways to relax. i like playing mc, but i get bored easily and also i cant sit at my desk for long becuase it feels like my head is too heavy for my neck. it hurts. everything hurts and my job doesnt help me at fucking all.

i was able to draw tsob while dealing with most of my issues becuase all i had to worry about was work. looking at my current schedule, i can find the free time. the issue is using that freetime to draw and not just sleep or dissociate. finding home is very dear to me, but drawing it the way i am can be exhausting and i dont want to start hating it, so i just.. dont draw it most days

i stress constantly about how i appear on my blog becuase i want so badly to do this right. i want to be good at something, like, as a person, not just as an artist. but i hate myself too much to believe in any progress i make.

i know its the rsd mostly but i see groups and i feel gross. its not as bed now (any of you beans that have made it this far, ily /p) becuase i found a community i can actually interact with, but it still comes up, especially because i've moved away from all my irl friends and its so fucking hard for me to make them in the first place. like.. actual friends, not just people i can work with at school

if i keep going i'll probably talk myself in circles, so ill stop it here. theres a lot more but im not going to ramble about my suicidal, intrusive, or sh thoughts on this blog. this is a post to inform you guys of the state of mind im in. im lonely and sad and its all building up to a massive breakdown.

im not going to be leaving tumblr or giving up on my comic, but i probalby wont update as often as i did tsob. i just dont have the energy.

i also will probably post some of my traditional art cuz i gotta fill up a sketchbook for my animation class, so that also takes away from the time i use to draw digitally.

im so tired

#vent post #tw vent #long post #tw exhaustion #tw burnout

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alicenpai · 11 months

Text

🌟

anime north 2023 con report

finally posting this - thank you to everyone for a wonderful anime north!! \o/ this con prep season was the longest ive ever prepped for a con, and i think it was the busiest con for me ever. it makes me so happy to see people taking my art home!! 😭

so thank you for coming by anime north and chatting and supporting me! and thank you esp to the people who came by gifting their own merch?!??? - either fanart or ocs?! and im honored to see your beautiful ocs?!?? what the hell you guys are the GOAT thank you all 🥹🥹

it was so busy that i wish i had time to walk around & talk to other artists! i really wanted to get dango and onigiri at the delta too.. didnt really get time to eat so im sorry if you saw me shove 10 timbits in my mouth at the end of the con. yes i really did that .

throughout the con i kept saying "he just like me.. HE JUST LIKE ME FR!!!!!!!" every 5 seconds like an NPC. im sorry if you had to hear that more than once.

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i wasn't able to post my con catalogue for AN on tumblr and instagram... i was so busy.. dying... maybe if i do other cons this summer ill post something similar. i had a lot of new stuff this year so formatting it was rough haha. here it is! more thoughts under the cut (bc this report really is more for me, but maybe someone can find something useful)

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this is more for me honestly, so it will be really long. but i'm sharing it in case it may be helpful for others. i find that i'm always looking back at my old con reports, so typing out all of my thoughts are really useful to me. overall a great con, fellow artists and customers alike really inspire me to do better in my art.

comparisons to last year: (since i didn't end up making a con report last year!!!!!)

location: the artist alley layout was huge, and im really happy there are a lot more newcomers to the con scene. i know how much my first con experience meant to me, so i want others to join in on the fun! i don't know how the artist alley staff managed to fit so many artists in the building now! we got placed in a corner where there was a lot of breathing room, and a lot of traffic. i got lost a few times (didn't actually have time to walk around, but you know, it was to get in and out of the con centre and to the washroom/water station) because the amount of tables was overwhelming however, and the layout was super confusing. however i didn't feel as if there were any significant bottlenecks in traffic when i was taking some walk breaks.

commissions: last year it was still busy, but i still had some time to draw a handful of commissions. this year was a non stop barrage of customers! i think i may retire on the spot commissions at cons, just because ive always found it too stressful to draw right at the con, even if the traffic is slow. (and im lazy)

fandoms: last year i felt that it was... never so difficult to sell niche and old fandoms...? most people bought primarily 3 things from me at AN 2022, and not much else was touched. it was a struggle, and i even wondered if my art plateaued, if it wasn't good, if i should stop doing conventions altogether, at least for a little while. this year was so surprising with how much love there was for old and niche fandoms. two people from quebec came by and noticed the old fandoms and mentioned that if i was able to come to otakuthon, i should, people in mtl love nostalgia.. i'm gonna be honest otakuthon was pretty bad expenses-wise for me, but i heard it picked up since cons came back in 2022. it is a really beautiful city so mayhaps.. i will come for miss montreal.................

---

and a separate section on the new merch i made:

the new sticker sheets i printed (one piece, baccano, breaking bad/better call saul) did so well! nts to add luffys scar bc apparently i forgot... ive seen this dumbass's face for hundreds of eps and yet i still forgot .

these are a far cry to the sticker sheets i designed in previous years. many sticker places restrict you on how many stickers you can place on a sheet due to spacing requirements... the more stickers you have + the closer they are, the higher the margin of error, which i understand is why many professional sticker printers have these restrictions in place.

the artists i worked with for my AN stickers are so genuinely nice and accommodating with my requests. I just went wild haha. the sheets with the most stickers are brba/bcs at 27 stickers and one piece at 32 stickers.

2021 (top) vs 2023 (bottom), the chara stickers on the new sheet are larger & 2x as many item stickers! the new design makes greater use of the space. my octopath 1 stickers are meant for planners but you could use it for anything!

in 2017 i could only realistically fit 6 ish stickers on a sheet (for vinyl, not cricut home printing) due to printing restrictions. these costed about $3.30 CAD per sheet from s/ticker/mule (not worth it for the price point AT ALL... but i wanted to try sheets for the first time)... and yes it's a tiny 4x7 as well. it was a hard sell for $7 in 2017. but im glad artists have been pricing them a bit higher + sheets have become much more customizable.

now on to charms:

i am so obsessed with this borderless charm look on the new charms... they look like candy... thank you guys for loving my new charms!! i tried out a new technique with designing charms. and im so happy with how they turned out. the charm manu was super accommodating and they are so much better than vograce who fucked up my order so bad in 2022 🤡👍

the soul eater charms from last year were kind of a precursor to this. last year i tried something a bit different than my usual with the transparent bgs, which require full bleed in the file setup, and that was already pretty new for me. i find that charm sales are usually pretty mid for me, so during the pandemic i took a soft break from making them, and i wanted to do research based on others' designs and really tried to improve my design sense. to me i want to design charms that aren't just a flat piece of artwork that gets printed, but something that utilizes the capabilities of the acrylic material it gets printed on 🤔

---

fandoms/merch types i want to try next time i table:

more soul eater? it's one of my favourite animes and im very happy for the soul eater love this year. my partner kept selling out of her soul eater prints even though it was her first time tabling!

fma! ive been rereading AND rewatching it lately. it's one of my top 5 anime of all time so me drawing anything for it is a struggle, the bar is set so high. i never end up having the time or ideas to draw anything for it (and the aesthetics are very different from my usual taste)

shadows house has been one of my favorites recently!

dungeon meshi, the print i made was back in 2018 and i think it's time to retire it! it sold out at AN, thank you! with the way the story has developed in the last 5 years, i really want to draw something new for it if i can.

blue period needs more love!

golden kamuy.....

and many more.....

i also want to try mini prints maybe...

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administrative stuff:

next time before the con, i definitely need an organized chart i print out before the con so im not.. literally writing down each transaction... 🧍‍♀️

clamps...?

possibly new display? grids even with plastic panels are heavy... and they can be a pain to put up. this AN we had our neighbors and good friends @nappotuna & @stripeyworm helping us put the grids up, they did an absolute speedy banger job! but it might have taken way longer without 4 hands on the grid work.

if we had used tape to hold our prints up as well who knows how long it would have taken. we used magnets, apparently a lot of people were using them at TCAF. they were so easy to put up and adjustable. *jesse pinkman voice* MAGNETS, BITCH!!!!!!!

---

merch i may shelve/do less of:

i really appreciate when artists talk about these kind of things behind the scenes... when products do well, when others dont, products w surprising responses, the factors that we think affect sales... the hard truth is that not everything sells, just bc the art is good =/= good sales, etc etc.

lately ive found it so fun to design sticker sheets over individual die cut stickers!! i understand now why some people only specialize in stickers!! it's also such a pain to stock individual characters and have greatly varying levels, bc of customer interest, and bc of how printing stickers works, you often get extras of random characters due to overflow 😭.. like at some point I had 7 jeannes and like only 1 of the other vnc charas bc the printer had so many extras and she's arguably less popular HDHFJSJHDJS anyways, i think i'll probably do less die cut individual stickers for my next con...

anything old that i only have 1 or a few copies left (meaning i won't reprint) i may not have for display anymore bc of space concerns... before my next con ill just post them on social media to have people claim them!

i may want to do less 3" charms in the future...? theyre a hard sell online prob bc i cant really do deals (i could but id have to be checking the stock every few hours which is not ideal), but they do a lot better in person due to deals.

it's been fun to try specialty products (I've tried scrunchies, stamps, pouches, microfiber cloths, coasters, enamel pins), but i... find they dont sell well for me... maybe my art doesnt have that wide mainstream nostalgic merch type appeal idk... maybe im just not good at designing or advertising them wahahaha. (specialty charms are still charms and i wouldn't necessary consider them a part of this)

my jojo buttons were really popular at anime north 2019 and fan expo 2019, but when the part 5 anime concluded, i noticed that interest for the interest completely moved on 😭 (or it's possible that everyone who was interested bought the buttons already?). part 6 anime didn't rejuvenate the same level of interest. it was a struggle to sell even more than a handful of these at each AN 2022 and 2023. right now they're taking up a lot of space in my con luggage that i'd prefer for newer, better art. i still love the art i did, but unfortunately, i think ill give them a go if i get into otakuthon (and maybe fanexpo too), then it'll be time to retire the jojo buttons. sometimes fandoms come and go so fast, and it's difficult to keep old merch around when they don't have any more interest and when they're occupying a lot of space.

my banana fish lollipop charms do not sell well, and i only sold 5 of them in a 3 year period, across cons and my shop. i created a bargain bin at AN, and it really helped me get rid of old things! unfortunately even in the bargain bin i could not sell a single one of the banana fish charms. maybe it's the art that's not appealing, the characters aren't recognizable, the price point for a lollipop charm was too high, i wasn't hitting the right audience, the market was slow around the time, even when it was included in my promo post... etc. these lollipops were my first time making specialty charms. unfortunately i think that's the last time making lollipop charms, and about time to recycle these charms, so that i have space for fresher and better art!

other thoughts moving on:

maybe go back to simplifying my art a lot more... if i keep making drawings like my great ace attorney tarot + zine, witch hat atelier print, and pandora hearts print, then id not only take 1 month per illustration, id also be destroying my arm 😭 i stopped stylizing my art in 2021 bc i found that my art was getting sloppy in 2020 + i was really struggling in life drawing in school. i needed to buckle down and be more conscientious when drawing poses, learning anatomy and structure... and bc getting back into anime in 2021 really helped me cope with the isolation of the lockdown, so that had a huge influence on my style. but bc of that i think it just took longer and longer to make illustrations and that's something i no longer really wish for.

i really like the period of my art in 2017 with a lot of my persona 4/5 art bc it still has structure even though it's simplified... and the style in my zelda icon... mayhaps experiment a bit more this summer if i can...

#anime north 2023 #anime north

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wulvert · 1 year

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this made me think of like. there being a vampire out there in the paperteeth universe who just pours protein powder into their blood snacks. THE GRIND NEVER STOPS EVEN WHEN U DIE,,,

nyways. my first thought 2 the pills getting stuck was "Straw Cleaner" nd that made me think back of when scarlet said fangs have straw technology. this is gonna be so hard 2 describe hold on. does this mean the blood is sucked in,,,THROUGH the fangs or does it mean like. it still goes down the throat but the fangs make it easier to?? suck it up?????

abt 2 ask so many questions about vampire biology im so sorry. feel free 2 apply the "they r vampires vampires dotn make sense" rule 2 any of these

what happens 2 the rest of the vampire's digestive system they dont use once all their veins reattach n stuff,,,do they just kinda have organs chillin in there now doin' nothing

if a vampire threw up would it just. straight up all be blood. if theyre running on empty is it just,,,Nothing? expanding on this do vampires who run on empty 90% of the time like avery have like,,,absolutely ZERO blood in them or do their bodies still retain at least a little even if they havent eaten in like. 1000 years or smthn. can vampires run OUT of blood entirely somehow nd just. straight up die instantly? thats pretty lethal to humans but i have no idea anout vampires

ok so good question bc while i want it to be the straws go into the mouth and thats it, u have to consider, a vampires mouth is attatched to someones neck while theyre drinking it, and like. it has to be difficult to drink blood through a straw in ur teeth and also keep ur teeth in the neck, unless the teeth r connected to the blood stream- but then like the vampires motive is the bloodthurst and if u cant taste the blood i feel like the motive has 2 be a little lower but like it probably has to be the latter bc how. like say u bite into a capri sun, u will manage tio get some down ur gullet but like its gonna mostly be allover ur face right so like the straws, for ease should probably go into the veins. and the the veins gotta have taste functionality.

heres my detailed diagram i have to go sketch page 50something bc i havent actually started it yet i just got back from college anwyay yes

they either throw up the organs or they just r static dettatched unsused.

so yea if a vampire throws up its whatevers in their veins- avery doesnt run entirely on empty shes just stays very low on blood, if she, post bloodlust setting in had 0 blood in her she'd go on an even murderousyer rampage like. rip kelly kinda thing. but avery yeah generally if u stabbed her she would bleed, except right now she wouldnt because she has no blood at all. if a vampire has 0 blood they dont die they just get rly murdery- its pretty easy to get to 0 blood, i forget to mention but vampire blood doesnt clot- but theyll usually not just bleed out completely bc they heal fast oh my god this is so incoherent- I'll come back and clean up this ask later but i dont want ppl to yell at me so imgonna go draw avery being pathetic on the floor

#asks

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flingza-roller · 2 years

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Sorry if this is bad timing, but I just saw your post about lorikeet and I love them! Could you tell me a bit more about them and your other splatoon OCs?

OHO YES! there is no such thing as bad timing to ask about ocs, im just incredibly happy that somebody is interested!! heheh time to Ramble (this is long sorry)

ok so im gonna stick to the bird kids cuz theyre a lot easier to explain GSJFD (maybe someday ill give my other ocs refs and backstory stuff....)

all four of em are very much based off how i play the game as each character, so i pretty much just grab my in-game behaviour and give it to em as a personality.

so, lorikeet! splat3 is still very new but i think ive somehow already solidified their personality lmao. theyre super reckless, pretty much always falling off stages and getting themself splatted by doing stupid things like running headfirst to a tacticooler or trying to challenge the eliter that wont leave them alone (i think mahi-mahi is the absolute worst for this). they like to go a little bit cazy and get as many kills as possible, which is silly when the only mode u play is turf war... (on that, there is not a single splatoon game that has gotten me to like ranked/league. i played it a few times and then swore off it, so now all four of the kids hate ranked lol)

lori fucking ADORES deep cut so theyve got the three earrings in their right ear bc they wanna be like shiver and frye. on deep cut, they love splatfests and all the music n fun stuff that comes with it. theyre weirdly not too competitive when it comes to defending their team, BUT they will go extra feral during splatfest turf wars and go complete beast mode. they still dont have a main weapon? favours brushes but thats pippins thing so they should probably pick something else GDKGS

oh they have the worst adhd brain. if they see something cool happening in the bg of a stage they will just straight up stop in their tracks and watch for a while, completely oblivious to whatever is happening in the match. and of course the moment they hear the tacticooler they will run for it even if theyre literally in the opposite end of the stage.... stupid. favourite stage is yet to be decided, gotta let the game marinate for a while longer

as the new agent 3 lori is pretty good at following orders, they just kinda... die in the dumbest possible ways. trying to jump through walls, walking straight off ledges, accidentally attracting attention to themself by throwing lil buddy right next to them. but theyre pretty good at fighting! also they like annoying the captain, because of course (this doesnt bode well for kiwi)

id like to build more on their character eventually but that requires me playing more splat3 and ive been rly unmotivated to do so >:/ ive barely played any salmon run and still havent touched table turf. augh. lori u will grow as a person i promise

now PIPPIN! (she/they) theyre my kid from octo expansion! shes very silly but surprisingly strong and skilled. never asked for help from OTH and went through every single test multiple times to get every weapon ticked (hell). also enjoys fighting inner agent 3 because ??? clearly a lot more competent than theyre letting on.

so once pip came to the surface they were very much like "id rather NOT do the whole fighting thing again" and jumped into turf wars with the intention of just having fun and messing with people. her gear set is 100% QSJ cuz she likes annoying the enemy team and then jumping away like a coward when theyre cornered (it jumpscares people bc they dont expect an octo to jump THAT fast).

she uses brush so that they can draw love hearts in enemy base :] they think its very cute and gets sad when ppl ink over it. also if an enemy tries to initiate a party they will always join bc make love not war etc. always goes for the highest inkage (highest score excluding win points was over 2000) favourite stage is inkblot art academy!

zero sense of fashion btw they either wear the QSJ gear or whatever they think will make her look hot (big fan of the octoling armour and marinas crop top). sometimes changes gender to Boy bc why the hell not, gender is arbitrary.

when grouped up with the others, they like teaming up with pigeon to cause chaos and havoc. shes very excited to see lori joining the team cuz theyre equally as insane as the other two! kiwi is the only one carrying a braincell here rip

PIGEON time!! (also she/they) technically my first oc because splatoon 2 was my first game! so she definitely has the most going for them. foil flingza main (my beloved), absolutely a frontliner and goes for the kill as much as possible. very good at sneak attacks! main gear is almost entirely special charge up (sorry. im the og missile spammer) except for ninja squid which they use to scare the shit outta ppl.

pigeon adores the birds u see hanging out on various stages, especially the pigeons (naturally). favourite stage is moray towers! i never said we had good taste. moray is excellent for roller users and allows for fast clean base inking >:]

like the others they love a good squid party but isnt always in the mood, HOWEVER she will never splat an innocent partier bc thats a dick move. if theyre not a threat, theres no need to splat.

outside of turf, pigeon is actually not a very violent person. very sweet to their friends and oh so very lesbian. she sees a pretty girl in the square and goes 😳 (btw this DOES work in battle, be a cute girl and they will be distracted). fucking absolutely obsessed with squid beatz like you have no idea, aims to get gold on every hard mode song. favourite songs to play are frantic aspic, shark bytes, and entropical. she and pippin love playing games like this together, i bet theyd be great dance duo.

in hero mode, pigeon is naturally a completionist and obtained every weapon. fucking loves harassing marie and annoying her as much as possible. adores callie so much <3 their best speedrun time is 40 sec on octo samurai (sadly cant reach the world record of 39)

unlike pippin they actually have a pretty good fashion sense, always coordinating their outfits and ink colour to match. a very stylish squid!

now kiwi is an interesting one. i first played splatoon 1 in beginning of 2018, so sadly i missed out on the splatfests. still got plenty of turf in and played hero mode repeatedly bc i have brainrot!

so kiwi (again. she/they) is really into amiibo challenges, especially the kraken challenge. being a kraken for that long makes em feel powerful, and its lotsa fun. they actually spend far more time on hero missions than anything else, they enjoy turf on the occasion but find it weirdly intimidating (favourite stage is flounder heights!). she feels most at home in the valley, with craig and the squid sisters. theyre far too sympathetic toward octolings (unlike pigeon who just goes fucking ham) and tries her best to just avoid fighting them entirely. because of this, shes pretty good at stealth missions, especially since she rarely makes much noise anyway. theyre definitely the most low-key out of the four agents.

SO!! why do i name them all after birds? because.... i like birds :D yes im a wannabe ornithologist and birds are my main special interest. i also mainly name them after aus/nz birds cuz im just Like That. we have cool birds in australia, and lorikeet was just far too fitting to pass up. (btw pippin is short for peregrine falcon)

despite being so skilled in hero mode missions they do actually get hurt a lot and almost always has some kind of bandaid or gauze on her body from various injuries. is it a lack of skill, or just recklessness? hmmm (its definitely just because she doesnt take enough care of their body lol).

if kiwi were to be captain in splatoon 3, theyd definitely be just constantly scruffing new 3 by the collar to stop them from doing something stupid. is very afraid of a new idiot joining the gang, as if pip n pidge werent bad enough. all 4 as a splatfest team would definitely be the most chaotic thing possible.

also theyre this way because when i draw squirds (tagged on my blog as "wings au") i think its fun to see how different they all look! kiwi would certainly be more fitting as a bird of prey but i think they look so silly with the stubby wings so im not changing my mind. this does mean shes real fast at running! pip and lori are the fastest flyers, pigeon is just kinda in between rip

final note, theyre all at LEAST 18 just so that its not weird. they all use she/they except lori, whos exclusively they/them. they all fucking hate ranked but love hero missions. also all of them have 1 braincell bouncing between them (mainly held by kiwi)

if u managed to read this far, thanks for ur time!! ill eventually draw all these silly bird kids together as squirds, i think itd be fun.

#text #my ocs #pigeon #pippin #lorikeet #kiwi #thank u so much for the ask!! sorry if this response is too long DGKS

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donpa2483 · 2 years

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Im not even gonna dignify this with anon bro, why are people being so rude to you?? as a fellow asian i say mcscuse my mcbad language but what the hell? why do people think its okay to bully each other just because they have nothing better to do? ok? get a job? dont bully people? i get it youre bored but you cant try to make other people feel bad about themselves just because youre bored go away

and also i hate to break it to you that one anon but as someone who lives in america currently (yes asians exist in america get a life), there is unfortunately no such thing as racism towards white people. because most (MOST, i've met a few nice ones) white people have this mindset where they think theyre better than everyone else and therefore have the right to degrade others and take away minorities' rights and bully people of not-white backgrounds, etc etc etc

anyways donpa i dont even care if im late saying this it needed to be said but anyway youre a sweet person dont listen to them <3

I don't know... I feel like maybe I don't understand the cultural things in the US, that's one of the reasons why I get so many hate comments.

And sometimes I get really weird comments like: Oh no you did this character wrong, shame on you! I remember there's one time I posted one of my Blackfire fanarts and said she's my favorite character, someone commented and said: your fav is shi*t! At that time I did not know English like I do now, so I went to google translation and... I was like 14 or 15 years old, imagining how sad I was.

I just don't know... It feels like no matter what I do, ppl can always get triggered and they want to use their keyboard to kill me. They just assumed that a 15 year old kid who's not even living in the US should know everything like a real US citizen. That's why I stopped posting on Tumblr for a while.

I used to do many Steven Universe fanarts, I loved making the gems into humans, and I got bunch of hate comments saying that I white washed Connie, which I understand why ppl were acting like that now,but I swear I did use a much darker skin tone to draw her.

Until now I still don't understand what the standard is. I've seen ppl making white characters black or draw then with darker skin tone, everyone just seems to be okay with that. But once you make a black character with a lighter skin tone, you're a racist.

I drew Blue diamond with her hair splitted for one time, I got a comment saying that I did her hair wrong, even though I've done so many Blue diamond fanarts with her original looks already...

I did an AOT fanart and ppl think I support nazi...

I'm speechless lol, the haters can always find a new ridiculous reason to hate me.

Anyway, thank you so much for this message, you're a really sweet person too! And you didn't even use anon, that really means a lot to me😭😭😭

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moonrosesinapril · 1 year

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I love you so much sometimes I just wanna scream I’m so happy and proud you’re here after everything and you make me so goddamn happy even when you’re not here meeting you was the best thing that happened to me in this place and as much as I hate this city I’m so glad i moved here because I met literally the most awesome people and you’re at the top of that list i can’t stop thinking about how I’ll be moving out in a year and you’ll always be the best thing I associate with here and I’ll miss you a little but not more than I do now because I can’t wait until all this is over and we have all the time in the world and you’re my soul sister and that makes me want to hug you forever even more because our brains are a fucking shithole and the past two years especially haven’t been easy for you but you’re STILL HERE and im just so happy you areee and everything feels like a constricted box right now but I can’t wait to do so many things with you once we get into the real world starting with the bucket list and we can LIVE and I really hope we stay in each other’s lives for a long long time after this because there’s so much I wanna do with you and I know it’s a huge unpredictable thing to say but I know I’m never gonna stop trying and time and distance and living in different cities or whatever suck but they’re not enough to make me stop trying because as long as we both try I know I’ll never lose you and just that itself let alone everything else makes me so excited about living and the future because whatever happens or however shitty everything gets Im gonna be there for you I LOVE YOU OKAY BYE

I know I'm replying really late to this but I wanted to let you know how happy this makes me. I love you so much and you're my favorite person in forever and you know I always wanted a soulmate like Beomgyu and Soobin (two of the members of txt) and I'm pretty sure we could be that after we're done with boards and get into colleges and I cant wait to just call you whenever I want and show up at your place unannounced so we could just be in each other's presence and we could binge watch shows and read books together and draw and write stories, make each other playlists and make secret handshakes and trust each other enough to tell each other every little thing in our lives and strike out things one by one on our bucket list and I'm so happy you messaged me that day on Insta cause that was the beginning of our friendship that led to this and I love how we're literally the same person and have the same taste and opinions and I'm so grateful for every invisible string that connects us and even if a few of them come untied I don't care cause you don't stop loving a person if they change one thing about themselves and I'm so damn sure you will always have an amazing personality and how you've become my comfort person cause you always manage to lift my spirits with a single text or by tagging me in a post (hence calling me out which only shows how well you know me) you're one of the best people I've ever met and I'm so glad to have you in my life and I can't wait to be your comfort person. you're one the precious few reasons I believe in soulmates and look forward to the future instead of dragging through each day. like you said the future is unpredictable but I too won't stop trying cause I truly don't want to lose you or ever hurt you and I promise I'll always be there for you no matter what life throws at us. I'm platonically in love with you <33

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catgirlbutthole · 2 years

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Hey uh kind of out of the blue but like I'm kind of curious, do you have any guns you would consider personal favourites for any reason?

i am absolutely wonderfully glad you asked i'm about to infodump.

CW for Firearms under the cut.

First of all i'm an absolute sucker for russian and russian allies (or former russian allies) weapons. I'm talking all the former soviet states, former USSR, china, north korea, the list goes on. The most famous of those guns would obviously be the AK-47 (or more precisely, i love the AKM, the 1959 modernisation of the assault rifle) and its little sister, the 5.45x39 AK74 (recognizable by the much more gentle curve on the magazine. As the 7.62x39 caliber used by the AK47/AKM is heavily tapered, its magazine is vary famously curved). But that doesn't stop there. I love the various AK copies made all across the world. For standardisation purposes, all allies of the USSR needed to use the same cartridge, and even the same weapons. So the USSR shared the blueprints for the AK47 to many countries, which all made their own version, sometimes with slight modifications. Exception made for Czechoslovakia, who already had world renowned weapon manufactures, and who were allowed to use their own Vz58 rifle, using the same cartridge and somewhat similar look (i love that it looks like if someone who had never really seen an AK47 was asked to draw an AK47). So I love pretty much all those AKs and AK variants (i will definitely list some of my favorites.)

But that's not all, because all through the life of the kalashnikov family of rifles (still in use today in many countries!), attempts have been made to replace it. Between 1980 and 1994, Soviets/Russians held a series of trials, with many gun designers submitting different prototypes to try and improve on the AK, especially to improve hit probability (because recoil makes hitting a target very hard when burst firing). Some of these never left the state of prototypes, but some of these were actually used in service, such as the AEK-971. It features a system of counterweights, that move forward as the bolt moves backward, to minimize felt recoil.

sidenote : the winner of the abakan trials was the prototype named the "ASM", designed by a Gennadiy Nikolayevich Nikonov, which is now known under the name AN-94. it did not replace the AK74 as it is much too expensive and complicated, but it is very interesting nonetheless

once again i will also list some of my favorites AK-derivative prototypes.

it is 1AM and i do not have time to make detailed paragraphs about other favorite weapons so im just gonna say names now, the PL-15 is beautiful, I love the HK USP Tactical, but not as much as the FNX45, love the AR18, big fan of the FNC (i mean i love the FAL so obviously), my favorite shotgun is the remington 870 in a long barrel long mag tube configuration but the SPAS12 is a close second. i think the FN Maximi looks amazing, i love the mk22 "hush puppy", i LOVE the PTRD because of both the story (or legend idk) behind it and the fact that it looks like a big tube with shit sticking out of it, love the Glock 19, i have a soft spot for the G3 (especially the G3SG1) and also the HK21 and HK33. although i'm not a big fan of bullpups i really like the AUG (specially the A2). It might be because i'm belgian but i kinda like the P90, it's like a weird love hate relationship, same with the MP7 (it's a cool looking thing but you know, 5.7x28 could have been a standard), while it is very classic and we see everywhere, i love a good ar15, not gonna lie (love the old school stuff like the Colt CAR-15). Big fan of the Accuracy International Snipers, especially the Arctic Warfare Magnum, i really like the older SIG rifles like the 550 series.

I will definitely continue on this post another day thank you so much for asking me about this.

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udon-udon · 2 years

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so lately since i’ve been playing runescape a lot and taking a break/not really wanting to draw cause im down with covid, i’ve been feeling a lot of guilt like “udon if you have the time to play runescape, you should be using that time to finish those art prints and draw instead!!!” and because of that it reminded me of other art friends/artists that still draw while sick etc cause they’re working hard and always grinding. So i’m basically comparing myself to other artists.

TL;DR:

- udon feels guilty for playing runescape all day and not using that time to finish art prints/draw (even though shes down sick with covid), - comparing apples to oranges, - worrying about what other people think of her because she’s not grinding art as much as other people who do art professionally/full time are, -needs to stop self sabotaging and learn to value herself more.

my friend then mentioned: if grinding art doesnt make you happy, then you shouldnt do it, it’ll just burn you out.

yes that sentence logically makes sense

but my brain keeps thinking: “ i dont WANT to grind art, but seeing everyone else grind art all the time makes me feel like im not doing ENOUGH and im not GOOD enough and im not working hard enough and that i NEED to be grinding and other grinding artists are gonna look down on me!!!!”

and of course the counter to that is: other artists that ARE grinding are wanting to do art full time/go professional kind of thing and it doesnt make sense to put those standards on myself when im doing art as just a hobby.

WHICH IS SOMETHING I ALREADY KNOW. I’ve told myself so many times that I’m doing art as just a hobby/side thing, and i should not and stop comparing myself to others that are pursuing it full time/professionally. But I can’t stop comparing for whatever reason. Is it because i have a lot of friends/know a lot of artists that are constantly on the grind/pursuing art full time? esp on twitter?

my friend then mentions: 1. they wouldnt look down on u 2. why does their view of you matter to you, like whether or not they look down or look up to you do you really feel that it would change anything

why DOES point #2 matter so much? why do others’ view of me matter so fucking much? (okay yes its only natural to be wary of what others think of me, but why do i let it affect me so much?) I feel like (well rather I KNOW) that i deep down have an inferiority complex (that has continuously gotten worse over the past 2 years i feel due to a certain life event), and i dont want people to look down on me/think badly of me/not doing good enough/not worthy enough. and it’s not even about my art style or wtvr, its about my WORK HABIT/WORK ETHIC/MY OWN IMAGE.

my friend then mentions that there are artists that put out art every day/very frequently, but there are also other artists that posts once in a blue moon, but you wouldn’t think any less of them or think they have a shitty work ethic right?

which makes me realize that yes that is true, i wouldnt think any less of them. and that all this conundrum and worrying is just me doing mental gymnastics voluntarily and self-sabotaging and creating all these problems that aren’t even there, thanks to my inferiority complex and worry about what people think of me. in turn making me feel art is making me feel suffocated cause im not having fun doing it anymore thanks to all that ^

all in all: I’m basing my worth on what other people think of me. And i need to stop that. for real. i’ve always just drew whatever i wanted and whenever i wanted (though definitely more frequently in my younger years) and i still do! . I need to just... enjoy drawing because i want to draw, not because i’m worried that if i dont im gonna look bad for not grinding all the damn time. I have a full time job outside of art. i also need to stop being so hard on myself and value myself more? and i guess, love myself more lol

#personal #not really sad post more like a... self reflection post #i have clarity for now but i hope this clarity will last

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andypasta · 7 days

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rant/vent post (need to get it outta my system before I do something im gonna regret)

Does anyone even actually like me for who I am? Or do they only like the good parts. People get upset and sad over pieces of me that I can’t currently do anything about. I’m sorry I scratch myself until I bleed with my nails and my chipped shark tooth necklace, I’m sorry I can’t stop doing stupid shit, I’m sorry I’m self-depreciating, I’m sorry I’m non-chalant, I’m sorry I’m un-empathetic most times and have no idea how to deal with emotion. I’m sorry I have to exist like this. If it’s an inconvenience to you imagine how it is to be me. To have to sit throught talking with so many people, naturally ambiverted and friendly, and yet knowing that once people get to know me, they’ll leave at some point. They’ll all leave, or they’ll end up with other friends. And I’ll forget to contact first. And we’ll forget about eachother, but I’ll never really forget you, but I’ll feel too awkward to reach out again. I’m sorry I’m not the perfect friend, child, partner. I try, I really do. I just can’t, and I feel more and more tired of trying every day. My grades are falling because I can’t stop putting more and more stress on myself. And I’m sorry I can’t shut up during movies and shows when I wanna tell you cool things, and I’m sorry I can’t stop talking to you about my favorite things. I’m sorry I’m so goddamn annoying, and I’m sorry that I have to exist in your presence. You’re not the first to not want me around. But if I told you the first it’d be so nonchalant, and you’d be worried about me, but for your own reasons. You don’t want to feel guilty if I do anything to myself. It’s not your fucking fault. It wasn’t until you did that. Until you told me not to hurt myself because you would feel bad and I would go to hell. Until you told me that you hated me but only talked to me because I was the only one you knew in that class. Until you told me that you wish you never had me, whether a joke or not. Until you told me I couldn’t be in your group because I was annoying. Until you told me to shut up mid conversation. Until you told me one of my favorite foods looked like vomit and it was disgusting. Thanks for that, by the way. I changed my favorite food because of that. Oh, and let’s not forget the time you promised me you would make me said favorite food on my birdbath, planned out for months, and then decided you didn’t feel like cooking and took me out to a restaurant instead. Sure they had the thing on the menu, but it’s not the same. It’s not the same. It’s not, and it never will be. But you don’t care. My feelings don’t matter because you can play it off as me being an angsty teen and having an attitude. And not that you’re fucking up bad. But I can’t tell you. How would I. You apparently never do any wrong, I’m always the fuck up here. And I have 3 years of this left. Idk if I’m gonna make it. I want to, but the chances look slimmer every time I think about it. Still, I have to keep a straight face and a happy smile. For everyone. Because I don’t want them to feel guilty. And then I see people treating eachother nicely, and I wish we have that. I wish you would tuck me in and genuinely tell me you love me, I wish you would tell me I was doing good as a friend like your sister does in theater. I wish I didn’t have to pretend to be absolutely 100% fine with people jokingly insulting me. It’s fine sometimes, but the constant kys is getting annoying. And then I express that maybe I might, and you suddenly change it up and be like “oh no don’t do that” because your previous friend did, and you want me around because “who else would I draw with”. That’s it. Nothing else. No “because you’re special to me and we’re formed sand I’ll miss you” no. Just “who else would I draw things I make you draw with?” And I get it, it’s my choice and all, but I don’t want him to not like me. Because I’m friends with his twin sister, and I don’t want to ruin the relationship with her or the friendliness with their parents. And I’m so scared, of fucking everything. I don’t even know what I wanna do anymore. Or if I’ll make it there.

#Oh and yes the “you” bits were mostly diff people #Long post #vent :3

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