SPREADING MY AGENDA OF FLOYD AND JADE REGULARLY BEING AFFECTIONATE TO AND WITH AZUL WHEN NOBODY'S AROUND

not in a romantic or teasing way tho, no they're just soft n they care abt each other :)

also the other way around ofc

but like !!!

Floyd is probably the most affectionate w words

Jade's approach is more physical like holding hands or hugging if that's okay w Azul

and Azul shows it in his own. very Azul way. you know what way that is (like being more lenient when it comes to Floyd's mood swings during working hours, allowing them to be more physically affectionate, maybe even leaving some "thank you for [thing]" notes)

obvsly Floyd would also happily go for a hug but i know for SURE that he LOVES telling the ppl he loves all the sweet things he thinks abt them

even if said "sweet things" are things like "you remind me of a [scientific name of a pretty jellyfish]"

What gummies did u take? 👀👀 and how was the trip

the brand is called diamond shruumz i think, my local smoke shop sells them nd ive seen them at cbd/hemp/delta8 9 10 shops around here too and theyre somehow legal in my state bc it has like diff shroom variants nd idek but i doubted them at first tbh.. kinda underestimated it a bit or didnt think itd be that potent loll.. the brand has chocolate bars, gummies(with like 15 gummies per bag i think) and these packs of 2 cones. i tried the cones i just had one cone nd my bf had the other they tasted good and it took like 40-50min for me to feel it. ive never done any shrooms b4 but my bf has and he said it felt pretty similar to real shrooms yk. I read a lot of reddit comments abt it nd most ppl have tried the gummies, not many ppl have tried the chocolate bars but the few comments i saw abt it said they werent that good, and i havent seen any comments on reddit abt the cones but i saw a few reviews on the brand's website and theyre supposed to be more potent than the gummies so we ended up trying those lol. id say go w the gummies or cone depending on how experienced u r with pyschedelics ! gummies maybe r better if udont wanna take the whole thing bc u can take less. Most ppl i saw on reddit say they took the whole bag or like half etc, i think u deff feel it if u take a whole bag but idk i havent tried them yet lol. varied opinions on it and i think the brand is fairly new sooo opinions on it were pretty skeptical online for a few months but i found a big thread abt the brand from a month ago w a lot of ppl weighing in abt them nd most ppl saying they did feel it and it feels similar to shrooms but maybe a step down from it etc. some ppl got more visuals than others or some didnt, etc. and a lot of ppl sayinf the come up was kind of intense or a few ppl got sick LOl so tread lightlyy but i def agree the come up was reallyyy overwhelming and more than i expected, felt really similar to lsd for me with all the physical effects like my body gets really tense and feels wound up nd i got really heavy tbis trip and i got more visuals than my bf who didnt rly get any. mine were like subtle but still there like my phone looked crazy and like things in the room slightly pulsing nd ykyk but nothing super crazy but still there. idk if body weigyt nd stuff affects it but i tend to get more easily affected from psychedelics than my bf lol but yeah we both felt like really wound up nd my bf said his body felt like overwhelmed and kind of anxious even tho he wasnt anxious, same for me.. but it was still fun just didnt expect the come up to be that intense nd i watched an anime w my bf and then we watched adventure time which is fun but the really silly crazy episodes w a lot of action nd random shit felt really visually and like audibly overwhelming for me LOL.. then played guitar nd listened to mhsic nd sang songs together tho i did have a cliche emotional moment on shrooms and like started crying nd my bf and i had a like hour long sentimental and serious conversation which was nice Oh and i also get really giggly and laugh a lot on psychedelics same when im on acid its sillyyy and my body gets rly hot and sweaty.. and its hard for me to eat i hav like no appetite lol.. but i think i peaked during this time when i was crying nd just having a rly emotional moment Lol and then after talking for a while my bf and i both said the like tense physical feeling we had during the come up kind of disappeared for us nd i felt way more relaxed and everything.. but yeah the trip lasted like maybe 4 hrs for me it wore off kinda quick at the end 🙉overall good experience but the physicsl effects were really strong nd overwhelming at first so id keep that in mindd esp if u havent done psychedelics b4 and its always nice to b w someone too! i literally did not thknk these edibles wld b that potent or affect me that much lmaoo its kind of crazy theyre legal somehow😭

ooooo that’s nice !!! currently doing my chores listening to music as well, we’re twinning how cute ^_^. kimchi ramen sounds so good rn 😩. i had our fave for breakfast, sushiiiiii!!! i got cucumber avocado bc they had no salmon and it was delishhhh. call me angel again and watch me sob <///3. you’re too cute it hurts my heart, KISSESSSS 💗💗. i rly do love your writing and the angst just hits every time. so i am very much looking forward to wtvr comes out next hehe

OMFG PLS DO ASSIGN THEM MYTHOLOGY TALES I WILL LOSE MY MINDDDDDDD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! if you do it my one request will be the sirens story when the sirens lured the sailors into dying LMAO that would be so perfect w any of them. danceracha perhaps ???that’s my fave mythology tale tho 😋😋. what’s yours? i’m curious ^_^

yep yep yep you get it ! it’s too tempting. i will forever say that money does in fact buy happiness bc money provides me w everything that makes me happy so 😇. and it really is always thursday’s 😭. my mom was just being rly unkind and stuff <////3. im pretty used to it atp but for some reason everything she was saying was just like ouchhhhhh yk ?? i’m slowly getting over it tho until the next event happens lol 🙏🏼 thank you for being here for me love :((. just talking to you and reading your stuff makes me so happy. it’s nice to know someone cares about what i have to say so i rly enjoy interacting w you :)) AND skz comeback rly helps pull through LOL, i agree they’re all doing these comebacks too fast bc what about our bank accounts skz 💔💔💔

MINHO PICSSSS grrrr i adore you 😠😠. he’s so cute that just made me smile sm ily :(( but yes new rachavlog had me smiling NONSTOP through the whole video, seeing them happy and seeing chan relax for once just makes my heart full. hyunjins outfit ALONE was so bf. and him taking over the cooking and all that at the restaurant ??? HUSBAND ENERGYYYYYYYYY he is so boyfie. tempted to write hyunjin fluff lately bc he’s just so dreamy and it makes me insane 😇😇

- 🐈‍⬛ the spamming has began again pls forgive 😔🙏🏼 hugs hugs hugs

kimchi ramen always!!! either that or the buldak ramen. god i’ve been eating instant noodles daily due to the fact that it’s ramadan and the campus cafes are closed </3 on my period rn so i can’t fast hehe. maybe i shud order some real food tmr instead zzzz. sushi sounds so good rn 😭 if only there were sushi restaurants near my campus, i would order some tomorrow ☹️ but there aren’t ☹️ dislike living in a small village, i can’t cope!!!

i will call you my angel all the time then because you are indeed my angel <3 the angel-est of them all!! truly!! sneak peek: another drabble of mine will be based on the musical tick tick boom!! angst <3 again <3

wait idk the sailor myth that ure talking abt omg 💔 will look up into it 🤝 mmm lemme try assigning them myths... i feel like the tale of orpheus and eurydice gives off so much hyunjin. being deeply in love and being overtaken by despair just feels hyunjin, yk? that’s all i could think of rn T_T my fav myth is the entire the iliad story!! it’s so interesting to me. i think achilles is a very interesting character. huge angst potential too.

naw, baby :( ‘m sorry to hear that. sending u affection to compensate for the unkind words. you’re absolutely perfect the way you are, and ‘m proud of you!! thank you for merely existing, and i’m proud that you’re doing the best you could right now. you deserve so many good things ♡ i haven’t even met you or known you deeply but just by the things we’ve talked about, i can tell that you’re an incredible individual. you’re attentive, a great mood-maker, a joy to be around and kind. you make my days brighter. thank you for sticking around ♡

i’m planning to preorder for their next comeback (we are looking past my sad bank account) so ngl hopefully it’s not anytime too soon LOLLLL. maybe after eid bcs i’ll have eid money by then 😈 i’ll be free to spend money on their albums LOL.

and i adore you too, my angel!! pls write the hyune fluff i am on my knees begging 🙏 hyune fluff supremacy!! yes his outfit was so boyfriend <3 i loved seeing all of them unwind. the way jisung bowled too like he fr rolled the ball down </3 sucha jisung thing to do. i wanna go to a barbecue with hyunjin just to sit still look pretty and let him do the cooking 🧘‍♀ he looks so hubby that way. imagine going to a hotpot place with him too OHHH I’M DELUSIONAL ‼️

i adore the spamming so don’t u worry my love!!! kisses and hugs for u angel <333

in case anyone cares

people who followed me winter ‘17-’18 may or may not recall that i had a rly bad falling out w my best friend, to the point where i seriously thought it’d be the death knell for that entire relationship. since i’m incapable of dealing w any kind of stress, my drinking, binge eating, and drug use rly spiraled out of control in that time. it’s also the time i got a lot closer to ev. definitely not a coincidence.

usually in this time period, i would start drinking somewhere as early as i could, and then go back to ev’s and we would kill fifths and order food and i had the disposable income to swing it bc i was still living at home etc. timing permissive, i usually would start at the brewery that i still frequent a lot, and around the time this all happened, a new bartender started there. it was always pretty dead at that time in the afternoons and i would chat w him pretty often and i kinda started looking forward to that more than the drinking? i dnt think i was crushing on him rly. i definitely recall a few stray thoughts after more than a few beers like “if only he was single” bc he mentioned a girlfriend on a few occasions, but i kind of chalked it up to the isolation speaking. but it was nice, yknow. made me feel a lot less alone. by the time i’d buried the hatchet w my best friend 3 months later, and i’d gone there w them, he was gone.

and you know how it is w bartenders, they stop working at a place you’re at a lot, and for all intents and purposes they disappear into the void. and i honestly kind of missed him lol. fast forward 6 months, i’m at a restaurant w my mom and sitting at the bar, and the bartender looks familiar, and he asks me if we know each other from somewhere, and i think a little, and i’m like “justin?” and lo and behold, it’s him. we catch up, it’s nice, i’m happy. i run into him there a few more times w my mom, and eventually he adds me on fb and asks me on a date. i’m rly kind of hostile and conflicted abt the idea at first, but i rationalize, hey, i’ve always rly enjoyed talking to him, he’s sweet, he’s older than i thought he was but i dnt think that matters too much. so i agree, but we both work a lot and weird hours so scheduling has been sort of like pulling teeth. so he sends me periodic msges like “i havent forgotten abt this im jst overwhelmed w my job rn” and i honestly dnt rly mind bc i’ve never actually been on a date before so it’s all very intimidating to me, and im also stressed from work a lot so it’s kind of a relief that we are on the same page abt that.

so friday night, kinda late, ev calls me while he’s on a date at justin’s job ranting abt how one of the bartenders put a lime in his drink which he’s allergic to and he asks me “which one is the manager you talk to?” and i describe him while begging ev not to make a scene bc he is notoriously a customer service terrorist and he’s like “oh. i need to talk to you abt something when i get home” and i was prying him for more details but he was jst like “you aren’t going to like it” and hung up. so i start stress drinking and i’m like barely coherent on the couch when ev and josh (guy he was seeing) come back to the apt. and ev describes the hell he raised at the restaurant and i get pissed at him bc i specifically told him not to do that bc he knows we are roommates and it reflects very poorly on me. and he’s like “it dznt matter. you know he’s gay, right?” and i’m kind of like Oh God, Can We Not Do This bc he’s one of those ppl who think his ~gaydar~ is real and impeccable and i’m kind of barking at him abt this when josh interrupts me and tells me that they overheard him talking to his coworkers abt bringing a boyfriend over to thanksgiving and how said bf got rly drunk and made a huge ass out of himself. and at no point in this discussion did he say anything to indicate that this was an ex, which is rly the part that i’ve been hung up on.

like i obviously dnt care if he��s bisexual, and i’d frankly be more comfortable dating a bisexual man than i would a straight one bc i feel like they’d be less likely to weird and fetish-y abt the whole thing like my ex was. but like it’s troubling to think that he might be w someone else. like i guess it’s hypocritical for me to feel this way, but w brewery guy, like there weren’t any secrets there. i knew it was what it was from the getgo. this time, provided this wasn’t jst a misunderstanding, it’s being hidden. at least brewery guy is honest.

i’ve been running thru it over and over in my head, and honestly it would clarify a lot, esp where his unavailability is concerned. if you’re having to balance this w not only work, but having to sneak behind a partner’s back, you’re going to be pressed for time yknow? but on the opposite side of the coin, thanksgiving was a while ago at this point, and “getting too drunk and being a dick in front of your boyfriend’s family” seems like the kind of fight that has the power to severely fuck up if not end a relationship. and like it’s been 9 odd months since we ran back into one another, so him seeing someone then and being single now could attest for the timing of this whole thing? i dnt know. like i’m very confused and hurt and i rly dnt know what to make of it all. haha. life.

goddd I cannot believe u have read iwwv u don't know me but for some reason we watch like.. the same shows and now books lol. anyway can I ask what were ur thoughts on the ending? like to me at least it was onvious Oliver had not done it and he wasn't gonna pull a unreliable narrator last minute (despite being an unreliable narrator) I'm talking abt the whole uhh James is a**** thing.. like what HAPPENS NEXT? is he w wren? also I feel so bad for meredith like girl love urself.. sry 4 the essay

omg yes taste!!!! Also no I’m dying to talk abt this novel so don’t apologize if anything im sorry bc I wrote way too much answering ur question LGRNLRGN

IF WE WERE VILLIANS SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT go read it if u haven’t it’s legendaric

Okay the ending!!!! AH!!!! Okay yeah so I think it’s clear Oliver did not do it, I think the ambiguity lies more whether or not James intentionally killed Richard or if it was an accident. Like, did he see Richard stumbling out in the woods hella intoxicated and think to himself that this was the perfect opportunity to get revenge for all the abuse and torture Richard had been terrorizing him with??? Did he lie to Oliver? Personally, I believe James that it was an accident… of sorts. I don’t think James set out with the intention to kill Richard at all. But Richard was goading him and fighting him and after the buildup of cruelty and tension between them over the past few months, Richard be a homophobic dick and calling James and Oliver qu*er and prodding at the most important relationship in James’ life struck a nerve. So when Richard wanted to keep fighting and hurt him again he was like fuck this and he hit Richard too hard with the hook and that in tandem with Richard being drunk caused Richard to fall and die. And, like the others, James felt awful but there was a sort of sick sense of relief.

(Also, I’m not exactly sure Oliver counts as an Unreliable Narrator. I mean he is certainly keeping some things from that detective guy but, and I was reading something from M.L. Rio about this, like he’s literally just oblivious and dumb as fuck sometimes LKGNLRGLKNRG. So idk how often he’s intentionally Unreliable but I also get what you mean)

Anyways I’m totally a believer that James is alive bc despite enjoying dark stories im like okay but I need a happy ending LGKNLKRGlkenlgneg. Like c’mon they never found the body……….. A metaphorical death and shedding of his past life bc he blames himself for Oliver taking the fall is like the MOST tragic hero Shakespearean shit ever like it just works so well!!!!!! The part where Oliver describes the last time James visited him in jail…

“Oliver I’m begging you,” he said. “I can’t do this anymore.” When I refused again, he pulled my hand across the table, kissed it, and turned to leave. I asked where he was going and he said, “Hell. Del Norte. Nowhere. I don’t know.” (343).

GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDd. God. Anyways I think that was very telling of his plans. Hell (for “committing suicide”, moreso for all of his wrong doings). Del Norte is the beach that him and Oliver slept on that one night and so I feel like that place holds a lot of significance for them, but it’s a place only those two know the significance of. So, I like to think he ran away there and started a new life. He wrote that letter with the disjointed Pericles monologue I think to hint to Oliver that he was at Del Norte, if he wanted to find him, because even though his “death” was a self-punishment for ruining Oliver’s life, he still cares for him a lot and doesn’t want to be without him. Like a whole monologue about the sea????????? The fact that he literally said the monologue to Oliver while they were at Del Norte?? “To give my tongue that heat to ask your help; / Which if you shall refuse, when I am dead, / For that I am a man, pray see me buried.” LIKE WHAAAAAAAAAAT god !!!! Also water is gay<3 and in my heart Oliver goes and finds him and they like work through shit and are together.

Anyways I don’t really think he’s with Wren. Their relationship during senior year was always sort of ambiguous to me…. Like they definitely got super close, they probably were romantically involved in some capacity (since other characters like Alexander who is much more perceptive were like Oliver how did it take you this long to notice LRGNRGNK) though idk if it was like the Encompassing Love Affair Oliver thought it to be bc he’s oblivious and jealous. And also like James was very much enamored with Oliver so idk. (EDIT i just remembered they slept together LMAO but i think my point still stands) In the epilogue Wren is in London and is a recluse and doesn’t reach out to any of the Villains which like. Good for her LRGNRLG even though I hated Richard I can’t imagine like how much of a toll that took on her to see her cousin die and all their friends be like uh yeah we should let him die and then have to keep up a lie like… even though she agreed Richard was awful that has to be so heart wrenching (badumtss) and life ruining. So I think she especially wouldn’t want to be with James seeing as he essentially led Richard to fall into the lake, though I’m not sure if she knows that or not.

And Meredith!!!! Like I’ll be real sometimes she frustrates me but I think she’s also SUCH an interesting and realistic character (which is something I love about this novel, all the characters are interesting to me and I like how the female characters are portrayed.... like i LOVE Fillipa she is such a bad ass bitch but again she’s not just like. Expected to always be strong and clever like she’s got feelings too. Anyways love her). As I said before I was perusing through the author’s tumblr a bit and ppl were like “omg why did Meredith go through all the male friends” like BYEEE literally feeding into the stereotypes that made her feel insecure and weak… (Also again, they’ve known each other for four years… so its not that insane lmao). I think Meredith’s relationship with her sexuality and beauty is very interesting and relatable for a lot of women (I mean I am not. Like a seductive femme fatale like she is but LGKNKRGN). On one hand she is definitely a multifaceted person who is more than her sexuality, on the other, she’s constantly Literally Cast by Gwendolyn in sexualized roles and seen as sexualized by her friends/bf (Richard) and constantly told her worth in and out of the theatre is her body. Like there is an interesting duality about the power she possesses with her sexuality but also the extreme insecurity that is bred by being constantly sexualized and this struggle of like knowing she has worth outside of her body but also sort of … not in the eyes of others. That scene where they’re doing those exercises of their strengths and weaknesses really Hit. Anyways yes Meredith love urself queen… get a hot respectful gf… become a powerful successful legend…..

Related-ish sidenote, obviously I like James and Oliver together the most though I will say Meredith and Oliver’s relationship was interesting though ultimately unhealthy…. Like one of the aspects I like about their relationship is Oliver respects Meredith and when he realizes he is falling into that idea that Meredith is this super sexualized person he’s like hold awn that’s shitty of me… But also I think the fact of the matter is that their relationship was catalyzed by shitty stuff,,, like lust and the need for revenge. Like I honestly don’t really think they would’ve gotten together if not for the extreme animosity with Richard and the adrenaline of like that whole show run and more particularly That Night…. It feels like they got together because they were drunk and they’re attractive, which like yeah fine valid, but also, subconsciously, to be like fuck you Richard. Like, guess what I’m with the guy who you’re constantly saying doesn’t matter. And also seeking comfort and validation when their most important people are not valuing them (Richard being literally fucking awful to Meredith, James sort of pushing Oliver away—again I think subconsciously was sort of a revenge jealousy type thing where Oliver is with the person that James doesn’t really like and makes not amazing comments about being promiscuous). And then their relationship I think keeps going because like. Wow grief is a bitch and they want some comfort. Meredith is drawn to Oliver because he’s one of the only people who values her for more than just a sexual object which like is What She Deserves but their relationship is like a mess of sex and guilt and Oliver is in love with James (the parts where Meredith drags Oliver for caring more about James… iconic as she should! Like when Oliver is like sorry James is visiting me I’m not coming or when she’s like are you more jealous of him or me when they kissed for that scene….. OOP!). Anyways idk if that makes sense but I find Oliver and Meredith’s relationship interesting bc it’s not like… the worst unhealthy relationship ever or anything and I think there is genuine care and love/attraction there between them but like Oliver is never going to totally Be What Meredith deserves especially because like… he loves James more. Also the part where Meredith slaps Oliver when he gets out of jail and he’s like yeah I deserve that is so GLKNRglkenrgnrg to me.

Anyways I probably have more thots but wow. This is long. Sorry LGRNLKRGNng

baby’s first liveshow commentary

hello lads i have decided to attempt doing @nihilist-toothpaste​ inspired video commentary/write up/review thingies!!!! welcome to ramble-y fun time

phil’s liveshow on august 10, 2017

his smile in the first minute makes my heart so happy i love him so much

i love the eye-tongue-eye emoji stop being mean to it

he’s a bit late bc he just finished filming a new ap vid!!! it took him longer than he thought it would to finish filming bc he was rambling. this is a #relatable brain thing

“i just said goodbye and now i’m saying hello again!” wrt filing and then doing a liveshow makes me rly happy bc i wouldn’t have thought abt it that way. i love phil’s brain

new vid clues: paper bag(?) and bubble wrap. amazingphil asmr part ii??

dan’s not joining the liveshow bc he has a headache but phil’s gonna hop into dan’s next one

closed eyes and happy gesticulation whilst telling sleepy-morning “unexpected window cleaning man frightened me” story

phil’s fight/flight/freeze response is freeze

“imagine if i had decided to make breakfast naked! ...if i was that kind of person…” its okay m8 we know u like to make nakey bro brunches w danyul

are the emoji pants the only pair of graphic pj pants he has now ??? why are they being featured so prominently lately ???? phil IS an emoji is the only phnnie conspiracy i can support now

in the ap vid phil did SCIENCE and REACTED TO THINGS (chemistry . reaction . hehe :3)

he’s out of tv shows to watch ….he and dan have watched so many series together over the years ..... i am emotional

phil hasnt watched in a heartbeat EITHER !! BLASPHEMOUS BOYES!!!

re: rick and morty. i strongly agree and it makes me so nervous that rick burps all the time i cannot focus on whats happening in the show bc rick gives me so much anxiety

he misses the cherry blossom tree in thehowlter’s front yard and they are hopefully going to put it in when they have money

“you’re all like dan! not everything has to be symmetrical!” thank u for these affirmations that not everything has to be perfect thank u for being chill. a chill phil. 

“i dont mind a little bit of wonkiness!” “i’m at a bit of a wonk!” “is the entire house wonky?” the only real phil branding is ~WOnKy~

phils hands are so beautiful???? i love them?????? @ 8:50ish

him trying to figure out his best side and saying “one? or two?” as options like at the optometrist when ur getting ur eyes checked. 

someone in the chat: “both!” phil’s cheeky grin/”don’t flatter me!!!” response

someone in the chat: “side three!” i snort laughed along w phil this is truly Good Content. dark!phil RISE

phil doesn’t think he really has a bad side and his easy neutrality wrt his physical appearance is dreamy. i love him and i love that he’s comfy w himself like this

phil had an eye infection and this is the first day he’s been without glasses…… why does he glasses-bait us like this …..

it’s really hard for him to concentrate with dilated pupils so that’s why he was being a wee bit wonky in the last liveshow

his eye is no longer infected and is “white and ready to see!”. the tone of his voice, his accent, and the phrasingof that reminded me so much of my british grandma who i havent seen in a few years and now i want to call her i miss her

wicked was “as the kids say...Wicked.” I SNORTED AKLHFAEIHKF

also i cannot believe that he and dan used the same silly phrasewhen talking about their opinions of wicked. is it still #copyrightinfringement if its your bf blatantly enterprising ur intellectual property?

phil was feeling a bit meh going into wicked but now he’s converted and a fan

he loved defying gravity :(

phil: every audience is important! me: crying

phil loves coming-of-age/college/highschool aus … Me Too

phil remix: the top fans to the tune of mad world “all around me are familiar faces...lillyphanstuff, joteleena…”

he’s had “mad world” and also that fuckin. ditty song stuck in his head

“...is one thicc bih - NO!” is the best thing ive ever heard

im so sad that phil hasnt experienced the joys of ditty. apparently he doesn’t have it downloaded and doesn’t really know what it is

14:07 is my new ringtone (he sang the ditty tune in “doot doot doot”s)

“bandicussy” IM DEAD

phil thought it was a good family activity to see dunkirk but it made his parents very emotional bc his maternal grandad was in the war

making your entire family cry is apparently the phil way to entertain

neither he nor dan understood the timelines of dunkirk upon first watch

after filming his ap vid he sanitized using vanilla cupcake hand sanitizer

he watches zoe’s bath and bodyworks candle/lotion hauls??????? ME TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

apparently b&bw has some ~priiiicey~ candles. phil is the coupon clipping, consumer reports reading dad

he said that livestreaming games on dapg would be “dope”. i am reminded for the millionth time that he is a 30 year old white man. i am moderately uncomfortable.

jk it was someone in the chat who said it he was just reading the comment

“hi to the ‘phan’s moving boxes’ group chat”

facterino according to the nature man on tv: in england nature has decided that it’s autumn already. this is evidenced by blackberries coming out in august. because fall isstartingso early they’re expected to have a harsh winter but its fine bc he is excited for snow!

some climate change discourse

he’s not a big doctor who fan but his fav doctor is david tennant

he’s excited for the “lady doctor” and i’m uh. not a huge fan of that wording

23:02 pre-sneeze noises and hand motions are Delightful

apparently it’s southern england peeps who pronounce scone with a hard o (scOHne) and northerners pronounce it with a soft o (scAWn). phillu doesn’t know which pronunciation he uses

my mom grew up in cornwall (and moved to america when she was a teen. i’m american btw!) and pronounces it the northern way. we’ve had the scohne vs scawn debate!! lots of #britishfamilythings in this liveshow

philly homework motivation song @ 24:52

his first response to ppl being sad about school starting in a week is to calculate how many seconds are in a week so they can re-frame their time left in a way that feels more plentiful. i love this ???

i also really love how he tries to read premium messages from different people every time. idk that’s just really thoughtful and as a fan i really appreciate it

he knows that black makes him look good …. GOodBYe

today is world lion day!

phil is the one who puts the funny/random holidays on the dnp calendars. of course it was but im still so happily surprised  

doinganap’s sicth/sixth discourse

he’s reading people from the chat’s bdays and telling them what funny holidays are on their birthdays! i love how he finds different ways to get ppl in the chat involved every liveshow. i appreciate him so much !like yeah i know its a marketing thing but let me pretend its solely phil’s care for us

he wants to go back to japan

he can’t read or edit and listen to music at the same time! me neither

someone asked what a good pet would be and phil went on a lil tangent about how it’s important to have enough time to take care of the pet you choose!! dont get an exotic pet or a breed of non-exotict pet that requires a lot of time, money, or energy to care for it if you’re not at a point in your life where u can take care of it to the best of your ability! <3

hedgehogs are one of the most common animals in the uk??? what the heck?

he can’t remember whether or not he’s seen a hedgehog irl so he texts mum lester to ask <3 why is this the sweetest thing in the world . like seeing a hedgehog irl would be an experience that his family facilitated or even if he was moved out when it happened it would have been so exciting that he def would have told kath about it. so any way it happened she would know about it. my heart is Warm.

he’s not a huge summer candle burner but as soon as it’s september he’ll be on the pumpkin spice train

mum lester texted back and apparently his grandparents had a family of hedgehogs in their garage and his granddad built them a little hedgehog house to hibernate in :( wow!

phil might play shelter 2 … with dan. No Thank You. let us have some phil-only time plz 

shelter 2 is more of an autumnal game so he might do it later when he can cozy up with some cocoa and herd the badger babies

he feels a coffee buzz after five (5) chocolate-covered coffee beans. r u sure u even drink coffee phil????

rye bread is worse (in phil’s opinion) than regular bread and is ”claggy”. i busted out laughing and texted my mom IMMEDIATELY bca LOOOONG time ago we were at a family christmas party with my dad’s extended family and all of the Adults were playing scrabble. my mom ended up spelling claggy and everyone else was like THATS A MADE UP WORD WHAT THE FUCK!!!! and my mom was like ???? no its not? my dad’s family is from the eastern us and had never heard the word claggy before and i remember my dad giving my mom shit about it for YEARS afterward because she caused such an uproar. idk if it was a regional thing or if americans just don’t say claggy but REGARDLESS. my mom and i had a good laugh over this description of rye bread and we both love phil

he’s nervous abt what dalien is going to look like and become as he grows up. phil’s general reaction to dalien has been one of caution and nervousness and idk ?? someone more thoughtful analyze that please

his advice for making the most of the last bits of summer: do something you haven’t done before! immediately after bestowing upon us this Wise Advice he giggles and becomes self aware of his parental tone. Our Dad Is Becoming Self Aware

he doesnt swear around his parents?????? my mom says fuck all the time :0

2018 calendar and season two pastel plushies are in the works!

he’s singing another song to list the top fans. suggestions include toxic, the ditty tune, and the tetris theme. he goes with the ditty song and starts laughing in the middle of it so makes a seamless musical transition to toxic

if everything recorded properly with his new vid we should see it in the next few days!

he hopes that we have a lovely weekend and that whatever we end up doing brings us a bit of happiness :( i love him thank u phil

tiny little bonus song after he covers up the camera. schrodingers phil.

all in all i love phil’s liveshows and this has been the highlight of my day. thank u for reading!

Vld x Toz

So um I’ve been thinking abt this a lot. I wrote this in notes first then copied pasted it. I’m currently drawing art of this too so expect to see that c; * Shiro as the Shepard * Keith as the squire * - that whole bullshit thing w shiro happens “Keith if I don’t make it I want you to be my he Shepard” * Lance as a water seraph - weapon bow * Hunk as a earth seraph - weapon gloves/fists * Pidge as a wind seraph - weapon the thing Dezel has * Matt a wind seraph as well - weapon gun like Zavied maybe? * Matt gets captured by Zarkon and Haggar and is turned into a hellion maybe? * That’s why the whole expedition starts tbh * Shiro and Keith lived in a small village and Shiro was friends w Matt/has a high resonance like Keith * Matt, pidge, hunk and lance lived in near them in the forest(seraphim don’t make homes the village sorey lived in had houses to make him feel more human). * Lance and Keith lowkey fight a lot(have a crush on each other cOUGH lance knows more that it’s a crush keith is still confused and intrigued by lance) and shiro doesn’t know they know each other(and Keith doesn’t realize lance is a seraph despite him being a huge celestial record nerd rip him) * Shiro and Matt go on an expedition to look at ruins bc Matt is a highkey nerd and Shiro is a nerd from second hand nerding from both Keith and Matt * The expedition goes wrong like ¾ of the way through? * They get ambushed by a lotta hellions and they’re kinda like fuck * Matt ends up pushing Shiro to safety but only after a hellion ends up biting shiros arm off. * Shiro wakes up later to be in a city with doctors swarming around him. * Turns out the seraph princess allura w the help of her human advisor/translator/protector coran saved him and replaced his arm since if they didn’t he might’ve bleed out(or smth like that idfk) * (Allura is like Lailah and Alisha fused in this au? She’s the guardian of the sacred blade but is still called princess by coran and most even tho she’s technically not the princess, she’s the advisor to the princess through coran(Shay is the actual princess of there). Coran works as a translator for Allura since he has a very high resonance and his family has been worshiping the group of seraphs that live in the city. He holds hands w the person allura wants to talk to and she talks. She’s respected by some people but there’s rumors of her not being real brewing in the city causing malevolence) * Shiro is kinda highkey freaking out since 1) he has a metal arm now???? And 2) his seraph bf lowkey kinda sacrificed himself to save shiro and he doesn’t know if he’s alive or tainted or not?? * Turns out he’d been gone for months * While this is all happening pidge has snuck out to go find their brother(hunks and lance caught them so they’re coming too) * Keith is also worried sick abt shiro so he leaves the village to search for him * All four end up bumping into each other on the way there(comically Keith still doesn’t know they’re seraphim and lance makes the other two keep their mouths shut. Doesn’t stop pidge from making some boyfriend jokes that oblivious keith doesn’t get but wonders why lance is so red) and once they realize that matt and Shiro went together they team up to find them * They spot him in the town the Altea (substitutes lady lake in this au) and misinterpret the situation thinking he’s being held captive. * Hilarity ensues when they try to “rescue” shiro * Long story short Shiro explains what he remembers that happened, Allura and Coran are introduced, and Keith finally figures out lance and the others are seraphim. He is very pissed at them not telling him and for not figuring it out himself. * Suddenly they hear commotion and find that while princess Shay was giving a speech a riot of hellions appeared from the citizens negative thoughts * Thinking on her toes Allura tells Shiro about how there’s this thing called the sacred blade that they could use to right the hellions and in the long run could help them find matt * Keith immediately starts to protest since he knows what that would mean but Shiro has already left to grab the blade * With the help of allura he’s able to purify the hellions * He is named the Shepard soon after * He then proceeds to fall unconscious for a week * During that time keith is at his bed at all times * Lance is worried abt him but after a day of trying to comfort him he realized it was fruitless * Hunk lance and pidge go to search the city for answers * Hunk meets Shay * Shay has a lower resonance like Alisha herself so hunk in kinda admiring from afar and watches as she tries her best to help the people of the city after what happened * Hunk falls hard for her * Pidge and lance do not waste the opportunity to make fun of him because of this * Coran finds out and offers to be the middle man for the two. * Hunk and Shay speak for the first time and it’s really cute * Hunk’s all flustered and giving her compliments and while Shay seems to be keeping her cool she’s getting flustered as well * They talk for abt 3 hours straight until coran accidentally falls asleep and they decide they need to give him a rest * (They send letters to each other the rest of the journey it’s really cute) * After wards hunk comes and helps lance and pidge again to search * While they were being dorks pidge and lance were just at the library working(well pidge was working at least) * They find the entrance to a ruin under the city and decide to check it out(pidge is unsure, lance says it’s fine, hunk is worried and says they probably shouldn’t. They all compromise by saying they’re taking a quick look but not going too far in just in case). * They narrowly avoided detection by hellions and continue on(despite hunks better warnings) * They find a door and pidge deciphers it saying smth abt it having the royal symbol on it * Perfectly timed Hunk realizes that the dagger Shay gave him as a present has the royal symbol on it(a lotta cooing from the other two when they hear they’re already giving each other gifts. Bc of that hunk doesn’t tell them abt the dried flowers he gave her from his collection. It’s the little victories that count anyways). * Hunk opens the door briefly to make sure it works but closes it immediately after saying they’re not going any further until shiro wakes up * After shiro wakes up(Keith tackle hugs him duh) allura and coran explain the gravity of the situation and the trio say what they found. * The kiddos say they wanna come w him to the ruin but he says no bc he doesn’t want them to get hurt only him and allura will go. * Hunk says well y'all can’t get in without my dagger * Lance says he figured out that they could use the dagger to begin with(I hc that he’s actually really good at symbol and spacial awareness puzzles) * Pidge says they deserve to be in this till the end since shiros the one who lost their brother and he will help them get him back(pidge is kinda lowkey guilt tripping shiro here and while the feel bad for that they will not be excluded from this). * Keith says that he should come too since he knows the celestial record front to back and they’re fucking brothers no way he’s letting shiro go alone * Shiro says no to them all, is they’re all just children and Keith’s a human he could get really hurt * Allura tries to pipe in abt squires and sub lords but shiro gives her the look and she shuts up * Shiro takes the dagger and apologizes to hunk saying he’ll give it back later before leaving * Allura looks at them then at coran and they talk w/o actually talking? * Once shiro and allura leave coran fills them in abt a ruin outside of the city that has some sacred weapons they could get to be sublords. He says it like “apparently there’s a ruin with some sacred artifacts outside of altea. It’d be a shame if young seraphs came upon them and took them for there own desires…” * All the kiddos really love coran already * Keith comes w to help them since he figures if they are able to join shiro can’t single him out * Meanwhile allura is trying to casually talk to shiro abt letting the others join the journey * Shiro is no pleased but she gets to him kinda and he rethinks some things * The kiddos fight through the ruin and long story short get the artifacts quickly and get the fuck back to the city * By then shiro is kinda getting fucked over by so many hellions * The kids manage to find him cornered and help him out * With more to come they quickly explain to him what they did and reluctantly he agrees to let them join since he’s getting his assed kicked and some backup would be nice * Allura makes the pacts and they manage to fight them all, shiro and allura artimtizing for the first time and Keith and lance doing it too. * Shiro faints again since he just accepted 4 pacts holy shit. They carry him back to the inn * Only takes him 3 days since he’s now getting better at this * Coran helps them get ready to leave * He gets teary eyes and wishes them luck * Allura looks at shiro w puppy eyes and he’s like fuck it why not welcome to the team new squire coran * In summary shiro is the Shepard with Keith and coran as his squires. Allura is the Prime lord with lance, hunk, and pidge as sub lords * Before I forget the thing where Alisha gets send to that sick village happens to Shay and hunk is like !!! Oh no she’s in trouble!! * Doesn’t take a lot of convincing for the others to go help her * I realized I didn’t mention that Allura is a fire seraph like lailah as well * And regarding alluras father….um….cough cough Aizen…;;

Im crying in the school bathroom rn I seriously love wonho so much I'm in pain why is he my ideal guy in every way he's so amazing and handsome and sweet but whO CARES BEVause he don't kno me haha am I right

big mood all the time im always in pain bc he rly................ doesn’t KNOW i would let him shave off my eyebrows if he wanted 2

tardy replies as usual under the cut!

(sorted from oldest to newest)

I wouldn't even care if wonho was a high maintenance boyf tbh I'd just sit and comb his hair all day and tell him he's pretty

hdjkfh this was so long ago but i think i was mostly kidding abt him being a high maintenance bf... like he would do so much giving? but i guess the only thing he’d need is constant reassurance that his s/o loves him imo jfdhgjk... i also think he’d b someone who either doesn’t settle down ever or does it very late in his life!

annie 🌹literary queen ❤️ literally crowned with a laurel wreath! not be drum attic but this midsummer nights monsta au is so!!!! give me sistar as the four star crossed lovers then drag me to h*ll and give me this doctor faustus au i'm itching for with kihyun as faustus and k.will as mephistopheles bc i love to watch my faves s*ffer but don't let me rip until i get my much ado about nothing au with the entire cast of starship ent and a lil cameo from giriboy!

(in refence to this monsta x as shakespearean archetypes ask!) fjdshgkjs shh i lov u... why is k will as mephistopheles so Accurate esp no.mercy k will lmao. um u should write all of these? in fact if... if anyone has mx literary aus.... hmu...... i’ll n*t

another thing about that incident is that it seems like the fan doesn't think Changkyun and Jooheon undersood them?? (an extension i guess they assumed they don't understand english very well) and that's pretty problematic. it seems to me that when they didn't respond the fan assumed they didn't understand and kept repeating it, as a joke. but they literally did That to the two with the most proficient english in the group... it's rly a mess all around. it's disrespectful through and through

(in relation to that gross “d*ddy” incident from a while ago) ik i feel like some intl fans think korea is a land completely culturally and linguistically alienated/divorced from the rest of the world or something and while cultural relativism is real to some extent... the idea that koreans are completely unaware of ~outside~ things is deeply racist. like mostly white ppl think that diasphoric poc are completely Different from them? when my mum went to the states 15 years ago some ppl literally asked her if there were newspapers in china lol...

i just randomly thought of monsta x as sesame street characters mostly bc i wanna see kihyun and wonho duke it out as bert and ernie (kihyun w/ the waste paper bin on his head and wonho asking 'where's the waste paper bin' and kihyun saying 'ask me that again and look into my eyes') and also minhyuk being elmo tbh...

JKGHKJDF PLEASe!!!! when will something like this b photoshopped... minhyuk as elmo is... spot on... i remember once elmo appeared on a now-discontinued late night talk show program i used to watch when i was in primary school and he was like “elmo likes wasabi, that’s why elmo has no eyebrows” and idk why ive never been able to forget this????? very lmh. also this made me think of a monsta x muppets au n minhyuk is the pic of ass-gape kermit.... next post of mine will b monsta x as kermit reaction pics

Hyungkyun is such an under appreciated ship. Like, they just get each other so well? Why do people overlook it. ㅠ.ㅠ Do you have a moment that made you ship them? How would you describe their dynamic?

it’s bc they’re intp x intj they don’t rly... Understand each other with minimal effort/real communication lmao it’s very efficient. both quiet lil darlings who aren’t emotionally That Open but enjoy their own little space together sometimes?? their dynamic is like... they’re weird in different ways but they’re v chill together. u can tell hyungwon is super fond of changkyun like he has this Expression when ck does anything at all.... i think these two rly love each other’s personalities bc they’re both kind/gentle/peaceful types and their overall ?? vibe is just highly compatible... they’re absolute darlings... v soft together... i can’t think of a favourite moment but i rly rly love their birthday messages for each other last year like changkyun’s message for hyungwon was like “ur rly cool bruh ur rly such a great person” and hyungwon’s message for changkyun was rly... just him obviously doting on him n finding him cute jksfdhg i lov them a lot :(

soyou: i know how to make hair pretty :))) knetz: dirty fckn iljin why can't she be out there being being PRODUCTIVE in society by having babies and learning how to be a good wife for her future husband ://// smh how dare she be successful now when i'm stuck doing what society wants me to do but also anonymously attacking ppl i don't personally know on the internet bc THATS respectable the irony of ugly knetz is so transparent

The whole thing about Knetz and wonho's "scandalous" past reminded me of something. As a PSA to those people who are so insistent and pushy that idols aren't allowed to have sex/date/be anything but straight: Fuck all of you. You do not own these people, and if you really cared about them you'd be happy if they were happy. Like tbh, if anyone that famous and busy could also balance out a relationship at the same time, I'd be so happy for them. It really bugs me how all idols are supposed (1/2)(2/2) have this squeaky clean innocent image where they have to look and act a certain way and have these stupid fucking dating bans because once they don't meet up to that image their success suffers. Idols already give up so much privacy, and the last thing they need is millions of people scrutinizing every little thing they do. I don't even know where I started this rant from, but basically, GIVE IDOLS PRIVACY AND DONT JUDGE THEM FOR THEIR PASTS OR FOR BEING IN RELATIONSHIPS OR WHATEVER

yeth ty for highlighting the gross obsession w purity and productivity (like the first anon said -- a very confucian sort of ideal)... i don’t rly have anything else to add here i think. also i would fight for soyou i fact i would fight lmh who said she was his ideal type in no.mercy era... she’s rly one of my faves and the way she was slandered for the hairdressing thing was one of the most ridiculous things knets ever did lmao honestly yuk

u a kihyun stan now👀👀👀

im a @fhiz​ stan it’s the same thing tbh

ahh so i saw your tags on that jh gifset! as one of the few jh stans (or maybe there are way more than i think there are lol) i rly love his "reversal charm." he has a lot of what i lack as a person: a strong presence and a lot of confidence! i respect him so much as a person alth i rag on him a lot LMAO. sorry if this is a bit long winded but i just rly wanted to put this out there ;;

this is rly cute i lov hearing ppl talk abt their faves lovingly it rly... Heals Me. i think it’s strange how underappreciated jooheon is in this fandom especially bc he’s usually the one who catches ur eye first bc he’s so hyped by starship as being a one-in-a-million talented rapper u know? and he rly shines in mvs and no.mercy but............. y does he have the least fansites jkfhdg ?? you’re v right abt the reversal charm thing but i feel like sometimes it’s very overdone like... on lots of shows he’s asked to do aegyo when rly he should be asked to... idk... rap or dance or something?? i actually think jooheon is the most serious member of monsta x sometimes bc he seems to have a sense that he’s.. the pillar of mx if that makes sense? and that’s why he’s always pushing himself and working tirelessly like he feels very Responsible for this group, more than anyone else. idk if that makes sense!!! i love him and i want him to... unwind a bit bc sometimes he looks so stressed and tired but he still feels the need to pretend to be energetic like my heart rly hurts for him :/ this got so emo im sry i do rly love to hear that u respect him sm i love jooheon stans :(

i can see what u mean about jooheon being 1 of the most masculine. (iirc u also talked abt kihyun being that in a post a while ago) like with his face and his physique he really is striking; his body=like that slim,upside-down Y that you'd learn to draw men w/ in Anatomy 101 , but i think.. ,--not that u asked, but,, i think the jury's still out on if he's comfortable w his masculinity with the way he acts feminine lyk misogynistic comedians Can sound like dead ringers for women,? idk & i take +

(not sure if there was a 2nd part to this? there’s nothing else in my inbox so i’m sry if there was and tumblr ate it) yeth i think i meant that his demeanor is the most ~~masculine~~ whereas i think kihyun is still the most... idk... mature-masculine?? if tht makes sense, and i definitely agree w u on that second point! i didn’t think of that at the time but now that i... do... think abt it... ur right and also the way he comes back from it by putting on the >swag demeanor again in an attempt to polarise it is definitely a bit 👀👀👀 he probably doesn’t want to risk his Manly Rapper Image for real u kno? that said it’s ingrained in kpop that behaving cute --> “girly” entails that sort of “comedic” high-pitched voice + compact body language etc.... like i’m not condoning that ofc but i definitely think it’s broader than this particular case! :/ hm

maybe i'd be doing better in school if i could major in kihyunology ;~; i stan him but i def think we still don't know much about him even after all this time after debut. especially when i look at him compared to wonho who wears his heart on his sleeve (bless him i love wonho sm, gotta protect this bun at all costs!!)...but ya it just makes me wanna learn more about him like who is the real kihyun??

i want to write a kihyun meta when i have time... i feel like i Get him a bit more these days but it’s also very hard to put into words bc u kno when u kinda sorta mb get some1 but it’s a feeling rather than anything conveniently expressable gkjdhfjk.... idk if anyone wants to send in some Kihyun Thoughts + Meta feel free! :>> i don’t think he’s actually... as complex as we sometimes make him out to be lol like his behaviour is actually kind of predictable? more on his later

wait is the february comeback actually true? ugh i'm so conflicted cuz on one hand i'm excited if there's really gonna be a full length album, but i also think they need more rest but then there's the matter of getting their first win and idk i'm super psyched but i'm also worried that the boys are being overworked

i still feel like they had a comeback like yesterday lol like looking at their schedules stresses me out bc they do so much..... im glad wonho got to go to his mum’s cafe recently tho! all we can do is have faith in them rn and when it’s time... stream, buy things if ur able to, spread the news and the hype etc. i am definitely Worried abt some things like the competition they’re up against but.... gotta have faith u kno... and i feel like all active idols are kind of... permanently worked very hard but i think currently only jooheon and shownu are a bit Overloaded. also has the date been confirmed yet... it’s february already...