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tinyboxxtink · 3 years

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"Doppelganger" *Part 24*

Alright I REFUSE to make this story any longer, so the next chapter IS the finale, I swear to you.

This is just one more little loose end I wanted to throw in, maybe it'll come back around the epilogue. Who knows?! I know.

I would have started the "Wedding Day" here but I really wanted it to be it's own chapter, so this is kinda short and I'm not gonna lie if I have to I will make the last chapter 20 pages long to fit the ending in. That being said I have some stuff to do tomorrow night and work the next night so I may or may not split up writing the last chapter between those and post it late Sunday or Monday.

It's worth it I promise! I'll make it worth it.

Part 23

Finale!!

Tag List

@madamsnape921

@lolliepopsicle

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@milkshqke

@wanniiieeee

@word-scribbless

@gibbs274

@sassyada

@aprildecker-blog

@bookishfanfic

@stars-in-the-skies-world

@stars-trash-18

@omgsuperstarg

@objection-argumentative

-------

The next day Rafael asked you to come by his office once again, making you nervous. Especially when you showed up to the Mayor and a Lawyer to greet you along with Rafael.

“Pinguino,” Rafael smiled as he met you at the door with his arms open wide pulling you into a kiss.

“....More interviews?” You whispered as you eyed the two other men.

“Actually, they haven’t told me what they’re doing here yet,” Rafael whispered back as you both walked over to the men sitting at Rafael’s desk. Rafael pulled another chair around to his side so you could sit next to him. He had a feeling this would take a while.

“So...gentlemen,” Rafael cleared his throat. “What’s this about?”

“Well Barba it’s about your wedding,” The mayor replied.

“...Why am I not surprised..?” He shook his head with a laugh.

“Actually Mr. Barba I think you’ll find this visit different from others the mayor here has sprung on you thus far,” His lawyer answered.

“...And that would be because…?” Rafael raised a skeptical eyebrow.

“Because Mr. Fenkell here says that I owe you financial compensation for all you’ve been doing for me,” The mayor replied rather gruffly as he crossed his arms like a petulant child being called into the principal’s office.

“...Excuse me?” Rafael looked at both of them with confusion.

“Well Mr. Barba, I’m surprised you haven’t either realized or brought up the fact that the situation that you’re in is called ‘quid pro quo’,” The lawyer explained.

“Yes I know what ‘quid pro quo’ is counselor, we went to the same law school,” Rafael snarked. “And I graduated with higher honors than you,”

“Barba I’m here trying to help you out, I don’t know why you’re lashing out at me,” The lawyer now crossed his arms.

“Baby,” You put a hand on his. “Just let the man talk,”

“Right,” He nodded reluctantly. “Go on,”

“Like I was saying,” Mr. Fenkell pulled out papers from his briefcase. “I assume you and your fiancée here have been going along with the Mayor’s requests for fear of losing your job, correct?”

“I mean, not mine per say,” Rafael shrugged. “THAT would be illegal,”

“Right,” Mr. Fenkell nodded. “But everything he’s done thus far involving you and your fiancé's likeness entitles you to royalties, and dues for services,”

“Well, that is true,” Rafael nodded. “I’ve been so preoccupied with everything else I haven’t even stopped to think--”

“Which is exactly why I’m here,” Mr. Fenkell cut him off. “I figured a competent lawyer like yourself would realize when all the dust settles, that you were indeed entitled to a sum of money, and would therefore sue the Mayor after the fact,”

“Wow, that’s a lot of assuming on your part sir,” You laughed softly. “You really think Rafael is that shit of a--”

“I mean he is right,” Rafael finished for you.

“...Or I’m just an idiot,” You muttered.

“No, baby you’re not an idiot,” Rafael took your hand. “But we are entitled--YOU are entitled for some kind of compensation for all that you’ve done for the mayor--for me,”

“I thought my compensation was getting to marry you,” You smiled sweetly.

“Aww,” Mr. Fenkell remarked, causing an eye roll from the mayor.

“Right so--” Mr. Fenkell began laying papers filled with legal jargon on the desk in front of you and Rafael.

“This contract states that once we settle on a number, you won’t try and collect more from the mayor with some random claim like ‘emotional distress’ during your wedding, or events thereafter due to all of this,”

“...Trauma?” You couldn’t help but laugh. “You think that after everything I went through, I would classify this as trauma?”

“I mean theoretically you could, Ms. Y/L/N,” He nodded. “The emotional stress of reliving your trauma and trying to plan a wedding while on display for the whole city must be taking a toll on you right now, is it not?”

“...Well it wasn’t until you said it like that,” You muttered.

“Dammit Maxwell I told you, they were perfectly fine with--” The mayor began to pitch a fit.

“Oh no no no,” Rafael wagged a finger at the mayor. “Just because she’s ignorant of the--”

“Excuse you?” You crossed your arms at Rafael’s condescending tone.

“I mean, just because she doesn’t realize or recognize the emotional stress she’s under doesn’t mean that she doesn’t have it, and doesn’t deserve compensation” He looked to you apologetically while he re-worded the statement. You gave him an approving nod.

“Right well this is what this is for--”

“And what kind of price tag have you put on my fiance's feelings, counselor?”

“Well if you’ll peruse the contract, counselor…” Mr. Fenkell pointed to the bottom of the paper.

“This contract blah blah blah, no further seeking monetary blah blah blah…” Rafael spoke out loud as he scanned the document. Then suddenly, his eyes widened and he stopped reading, looking at you then Mr. Fenkell then the Mayor.

“...A million dollars?” He raised his eyebrow, skeptical.

“...What?” You gasped.

“....Each,” He added with a smile as he handed you the paper. You didn’t know a lot of the words, but in plain black and white you read: “...In the form of one million dollars per plaintiff,”

“I’m sorry, WHAT?” You said louder than you intended, but that was insane.

“That’s insane,” You said out loud. “I don’t need that kind--”

“Baby,” Rafael stopped you and pulled you slightly away from the mayor and his lawyer. “I know that you get antsy when good things happen to you, but you deserve this,”

“For what?!” You hissed. “For taking a few photos? For letting a camera crew in a church? Rafael I just--”

“...But think of everything before that, carino,”

“What, Nevada? That--” You shook your head.

“Wasn’t your fault,” Rafael finished.

“...Well it wasn’t the mayor’s fault either, Raffi,” You nodded at the mayor.

“But he is exploiting you for it,” Rafael pointed out.

“....True,” You nodded.

“Excuse you two, but I--” The mayor began to rant again.

“And if I may add,” Mr. Fenkell jumped in. “While Mr. Barba was worried about his job, you also had reason to be worried about it as well. Being as he is your only means of support,”

“Right now,” You quickly added.

“....Right,” Mr. Fenkell gave you a side eye. “Currently,”

Clearly this douchebag thought what everyone else must be thinking. That you were just marrying Rafael for his money. So that you could be a ‘kept’ woman. Well, he was about to learn that was the furthest thing from the truth.

“Alright then,” You finally said. “Then I want my share to go to Rafael, if we’re going to be married it’s his anyway,”

“No no no no, Nuh-uh,” Rafael shook his head. “Your share is your share,”

“...But I don’t want you to think that I’ve got some... ‘escape money’,” You gave him a sad look.

“Escape money?” He laughed. “Baby I told you, I think the last thing I should be worried about is you leaving me,”

“....Also true,” You nodded with a soft smile. You sure as hell had not gotten this far working this hard to ‘get’ Rafael to just give him up. Ever.

“Okay then, do I tell you where I want the money to go or do I do it myself?” You asked Mr. Fenkell.

“...You already have plans for it?” Mr. Fenkell asked you. “...Didn’t you just say you didn’t want it? Why would you--”

“Just answer the question,” You said flatly.

“I mean Mr. Barba could just draw up the contracts and paperwork for you to transfer your funds wherever you--”

“But Mr. Barba is my husband, not my lawyer,” You cut him off. “...And I’d like to keep that way,” You looked over at who Rafael looked at you in confusion.

"Not Mixing business and pleasure," You smirked.

“Right,” Mr. Fenkell nodded as pulled out a legal pad and a pen. “Well I can make a list of where you want to divert the funds and we’ll go from there,”

“Okay,” You took a deep breath. “Well, first of all-- obviously,” You took Rafael’s hand. “I want to pay off the rest of my time at Julliard,”

“That’s unnecessary, carino--”

“Yeah I know you say that Rafael, but I was going there before I met you and it’s not your respon--”

“It’s already paid for, in full,” He spoke over you.

“...What?” You asked him with a breathy voice. When did he have time to do that?! WHY-wait.

“But I’m going to need an extra semester since I’m taking the rest of this one off,” You said softly as you glanced at the other two in shame. You still felt guilty about Rafael having to basically babysit you for the past few weeks.

“Yeah I figured that.” He nodded with a smile, stroking your cheek. “It’s all taken care of, carino,”

“...Alright fine then I want to pay it back,” You insisted.

“No,” He shook his head. “Absolutely not,”

“Rafael come on--”

“NO,” He repeated sternly. “I won’t take it,”

“....Alright, fine,” You rolled your eyes. “Then I want a chunk to go to abuela--”

“No I have them covered too,” He shook his head. “And they are definitely NOT your responsibility. And before you say next that you want it to go to Maria, she will never accept it. We're too proud of a people," He smiled teasingly.

“...Fine,” You sighed in frustration. “THEN I want a chunk of it to go to opening a drama center,” You crossed your arms and looked at Rafael. “Any objections to that, counselor?”

“...A drama center?” He looked at you curiously.

“Look,” You took both of his hands. “I know you couldn’t-- your mom didn’t want you---” You took another breath, trying to figure out exactly what to say. “...You had to give up your dream to take care of your family,”

“Carino…” He took your hand.

“And my parents, they spent all the money we had on dance lessons, acting lessons, all of it. On ME. Just so that I could live my dream,” You continued. “Kids should be able to dream their dreams without their parents having to worry about money to do so,”

“But...your dream, Y/N. You want to be on Broadway. How are you gonna fit--” He started to speak but you were nowhere near done with your speech.

“Baby my dream was selfish,” You shook your head. “I wanted to be famous for the wrong reasons. To be adored by the world, to be loved by everyone. But, now I know the only person’s love I care about, is yours,” You stroked his face.

“If I open this place then I can still use my talents as a teacher, helping kids like us. I told your mom that when I met you, you made me a better person, that you made me want to be better. I want that to be true. I need that to be true,” You finally finished with a small smile, tears lined Rafael’s eyes.

“You are the best person I know, mi amor,” He pushed a strand of hair behind your ear. “I think the center is a great idea,”

“Good,” You smiled. “And….I want to name it the Y/L/N-Barba Drama Center,”

“....Well obviously after you,” He nodded.

“No,” You shook your head. “After you. And my parents. Because if it wasn’t for them I wouldn’t have found you, and you gave me everything I’ve ever wanted,”

“I love you,” He beamed at you as he kissed you deeply.

“...And on that note,” You turned back to Mr. Fenkell who looked wildly uncomfortable by your little cutesy side conversation.

“I want the rest to be split between a savings account for me, and the other half into a trust,”

“A trust?” Mr. Fenkell asked as he wrote down your wishes.

“A trust for our children,” You smiled at Rafael. “My parents spent so much money so that I could live my dream. I think it’s only fair I do the same for them; especially when I have the means to do it,”

“See those redneck shithead Jersians have no idea what they’re talking about,” He pressed his forehead against yours. “You are not selfish, not at all,”

“Thanks to you,” You pressed your own forehead against his like a love head butt.

“....Okay, so is there anywhere else you’d like it to go, Ms. Y/N?” Mr. Fenkell said rather loudly, trying once again to remind you there were other people in the room. People who were not amused with your disgustingly cute conversations.

“Um, no I think that’s good,” You nodded.

“Split up mine the same way, Max,” Rafael added.

“Rafael you don’t need to--” You started to protest but he put a finger to your mouth.

“I have money,” He assured you. “I have enough money to take care of us for the rest of our lives. This money should go somewhere that represents the both of us, and our love,”

“Can we please for the love of God just end this, please?” The mayor groaned. “If I have to sit here and watch you word vomit your love all over this office, I might actually vomit,”

“Right,” Rafael rolled his eyes. “Well gentlemen you know where to find us,” He grabbed the pen and signed one of the contracts then handed it to you and you did the same.

“Now if you’ll excuse us we’re going to ‘love vomit’ all over each other now,” He smirked as he handed back the papers. Mr. Fenkell and The mayor nodded as they walked out.

“Well, what do you want to do now?” Rafael wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“As tempting as that sounds, I have another request mi amor,” You played with the hair on the back of his knuckles with a soft voice.

“Anything for you pinguino,”

“Well I mean, you have some pull over there,” You nodded outside towards the courthouse that was attached to the DA's office by a hallway.

“...Why, do you need parking tickets dismissed or something? Did I agree to marry a felon?” He teased you.

“No,” You giggled. “But I would like to skip the ‘name changing’ line,” You pulled him closer as his smile grew bigger.

“I don’t think that’s what they call it, but I appreciate the sentiment,” He kissed you as you both walked towards the door of his office and out into the lobby.

“We’ll be back, Tommy,” He told his assistant.

“Right sir,” He nodded.

“This way to the ‘name changing line’, pinguino,” He smirked as you walked down the hall towards the courthouse.

------

--An Hour Later--

You and Rafael walked out of the courthouse and down the steps hand in hand as you pulled the two papers from his hands. One was a marriage license, and one was a form that was filled with boring legal jargon but at the bottom was printed: “Legal Name: Mrs. Y/F/N Barba,” with your new signature on the dotted line.

“Mrs. Rafael Barba,” You smiled as you looked at the paper.

“Oh no no no,” Rafael shook his head with a laugh. “That sounds like you’re my property, pinguino,”

“True,” You nodded with a teasing smile.

“...So why the sudden urgency to change your name, carino?” He asked as you walked down the street hand in hand. “Not that I’m complaining. I'd be lying if I said just looking at your name with my last name makes me giddy,”

“Giddy?” You gave him a look.

“Yeah, I said it. Giddy,” He laughed.

“...I don’t know, it was something that my therapist said,” You shrugged.

“...And what did she say?” He asked you skeptically.

“She said,” You sighed and pulled Rafael out of the flow of traffic of people.

“She said that women who don’t take their husband's last names had one foot out the door of the marriage before even going in,” You looked up at him with soft eyes. “And I don’t want you to think that I am any less than 100% sure of my love for you, and the rest of our lives together,”

“Well, first of all I’d like to see her marriage to divorce ratios based on that assumption,” He rolled his eyes. “And second-- I appreciate the sentiment baby, I really do. Just as long as you did it for you, and not because your therapist guilted you into it,”

“She didn’t,” You assured him. “I did this for me. For us,”

“Well then Mrs. Barba,” He took your hand once again with a huge smile. “Let’s grab some dinner, shall we?” He asked in a melodramatic, fancy tone.

“We shall, Mr. Barba,” You answered in the same tone, making both of you giggle like school kids.

Now all that was left to do was actually get married!

#rafael barba #rafael barba imagine #rafael barba fanficton #raul esparza #doppelganger #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfiction #rafael barba x you #rafael barba x reader

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boxofbadaddiction · 4 years

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In a Word

Fred Weasley x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Swearing. Small depictions of PTSD. Post War.

Summary: The War changed Fred. His brush with death had an unexpected affect on the joyful young wizard and, unfortunately, created severe turmoil in his relationship with Y/n.

Prompts: 12, 15 & 20

"You're over me? When were you...under me?" // "I'm sorry. Maybe I can make it up to you by...taking you roughly in the barn." // "This can't be it./Then how come it is?"

This story is inspired from a request of my F.R.I.E.N.D.S Themed Prompt List.

Not much was said about Fred Weasley, in fact most of the time he could be described simply in a word. He was loud. Boisterous. Confident. Some even called him Unstoppable. Those weren't the words [Y/N]'d use to describe him though.

Although, these days there were only two that came to mind when she thought of him. He was her ex. And he was afraid. Not that he would ever admit the fact.

Stubborn. That's another word for Fred Weasley.

The war had changed people. She'd seen it in the faces of friends, and family. In the eyes of strangers, and in her own reflection. Fewer people laughed while more cried. Many left hollow shells of their past self.

The same couldn't be said for Fred. He was different. The complete opposite. While others withdrew into themselves, he had never shone so bright.

If you thought he were loud before you'd be surely mistaken. These days he laughed harder, pranked more and never stopped moving. It was like he saw it as his job to single handedly bring joy back to the world. To shine light where darkness had taken root. Which isn't a bad thing, but now he had trouble on knowing when the joke needed to end.

His girlfriend suffered most as a result. She'd grown tired of feeling like the mother of a hyperactive toddler on a sugar rush. She'd attempted to talk with him on countless occasions. To have him confide his fears in her, but he never did. He did his best to never let on that he was hurting, but his best just wasn't good enough. She still saw it. Because if you looked closely enough you'd notice the way he jumped more at loud noises like he hadn't before. Notice the look in his eyes when he was with family or friends, how he seemed to try and memorise every detail of them, incase he wasn't here tomorrow to see it. It broke [Y/N]s heart to see him suffer in silence. But it didn't hurt her nearly as bad as when she had to leave him.

The problem between them was that Fred just never spoke about the war. Whether to offer himself a reprieve, or to be that support for another. Any worries someone had would be brushed off with a joke. Even on the day [Y/N] left he had a witty retort lined up at every word she said.

"Damn it Fred! This is serious!" She pushed herself up from the dining room table.

"Must be to have your nostils flaring like that" he laughed. [Y/N] groaned loudly in frustration. Why was he incapable of being serious? Pacing the room in anger Fred watched as his girlfriend tried desperately to calm her emotions. He swallowed thickly quickly becoming uncomfortable in the tense atmosphere.

[Y/N] tugged at the roots of her hair, ran her hands down her face, pulled them over the back of her neck. She tried anything to rid her body of these stressful feelings as her mind raced a million miles an hour.

"Why can't you just talk to me!?" She shouted, arms being thrown out pleadingly towards her boyfriend. Face begging to understand him.

"I do."

"No you don't. Not about things that matter. Not about what's on your mind or how you're feeling. Hell! Fred, it's been so long since we've had a meaningful conversation I don't even know if you love me anymore." Her eyes were stinging red as they began to glisten with tears over her words. Fighting with every bit of strength in her body to keep them from falling.

"Of course I do.' Fred's face was the most serious it had been since the War. This was the first time in months she had seen it without a smile. That sickly fake smile.

Brows furrowed as he raised from his chair he walked to his partner. Snaking his arms around her waist as she turned her face away from him.

"Hey", his hand cupped her chin making her look at him, "I do love you. I'm sorry." He pulled her into a tight hug, resting his chin on the top of her head as her hands met at his shoulder blades. His chest vibrated against her cheek as he spoke, "maybe I can make it up to you" he leant back to peer into her eyes. Looking away as if deep in thought, "by...i dunno, taking you roughly in the barn?" he began laughing. [Y/N] pushed out of his hold tears falling in anger. "Oh, come on [Y/N]"

"NO! Fred. Just...no." she snapped, her back to him. One hand came to her temple, massaging to try and dull the pain throbbing in her mind. "I can't do this anymore." Her voice were no more than a whisper, but still it carried to Fred's ears. The room fell deadly silent as he processed the words. No, he heard wrong. He had to. "What?" His breathing began to pick up in panic. "I can't do this anymore!" Hot, fat tears spilled from her eyes as she turned shouting. "I can't keep pretending everything's okay, that I'm okay. That you're going to let me in and admit you're hurting because I know. I know you're hurting too." Fred was paralysed. This wasn't happening...

[Y/N]s voice softened "I can't just carry on in denial like you're choosing to, Fred. I-" her throat seemed to close over itself. No words or air able to break through. Biting her lip as her eyes ran the room, searching for an answer that just wasn't there. She dropped her head as more tears started to fall.

Seeing the woman he loved so distraught in front of him, because of him, killed Fred. It was like being trapped under that wall all over again, and he was suffocating. He hated that feeling. The one that plagued his very existence in every waking moment. He made so many jokes these days to distract himself from feeling just that. He stayed silent to protect the people he loved, but he'd just caused more damage.

He moved towards her again, carefully as if he'd scare her if he were to move too quickly. "Hey..." his voice cracked under the pressure of it all but still he forced a smile through the pain, "I know things have been difficult lately. With work and the-the aftermath of it all but...we'll get through this. Together. We can-" "No Fred." She looked up into his pale face, seeing his eyes widen. " 'We' can't. Not this time."

"No, no-no-no-no, please!" He willed himself forwards. Clutching her hands in his own and pulling them to his chest. "Please, [Y/N], love. I'm sorry this...this can't be it." His eyes were frantically searching her face, begging her.

"Then how come it is?"

That was nearly two years ago now. They'd seen hide nor hair of one another since. [Y/N] had been on a few dates here and there but none felt right. No one could make her feel like Fred did. It broke her heart to leave him, but she knew it was the right thing to do. Being away gave her the time she needed to heal and cope with the reality which Fred had been determined to ignore.

As [Y/N] was finishing her day at work she decided to reward herself for surviving a particularly stressful week by heading for a few drinks at the new bar that had opened up in Diagon Alley a couple months back. She'd been dying to go, all her friends say it's fantastic unfortunately she'd never had occasion to accompany them.

So, with a quick stop home to shower and change she apparated to the entrance of the Bar.

It was everything she had heard about and more. As she sat on a stool by the counter she couldn't help but marvel at the interior. The ceiling glimmered with tiny lights that reminded her of the stars (which in turn reminded her of the ceiling in the Great Hall of Hogwarts), and the floors were gorgeous hardwood with Bar to match. It was hard to believe such a classy place existed in Diagon Alley. Swivelling back around in her seat to face the bartender she ordered herself another drink.

Her hands played with the cool exterior of her glass while she starred absent-mindedly at nothing in particular. Lost in her own thoughts as she enjoyed the night to herself.

"[Y/N]?" a familiar voice called from behind her. Her eyes shot up to the mirror on the wall, behind the whiskey shelf and there she saw him. A dishevelled mop of red hair emerging from the crowd of people bustling about the dance floor. "Fred?" She spoke more to herself before turning to face him.

Standing as he approached, their mouths were both agape ever so slightly. They stared for a moment before a single laugh fell from Fred's lips, one of shock and amazement, followed closely by that signature Freddie grin.

"It's so good to see you." Before he could register his movements his arms were already tight around her body. "You too".

He let her go slowly, standing back bashfully to admire her. "What are you-" he stopped himself. He was going to ask what she was doing here but out of fear she may be on a date he decided against it. "What have you been up to?"

"Not much. You know just work mostly. Actually I was just promoted a little over a month ago so it's all been really good." Her smile was genuine as she answered him and it made his heart soar to see her so happy again. Even if it weren't with him. Fred so deeply missed that smile, he missed all of her more than he could ever put into words. "That's fantastic! I'm happy for you." He knew he was staring but he didn't care. She was still so beautiful. Seeing her, being near her after all this time, was like a cool breath of fresh air he didn't realise he needed so bad.

"How about you? How's the store, and George?" "Great. All great. We're opening a store in Hogsmead shortly. Prime real-estate in our opinion, so close to the school. Couldn't pass up the chance to drive McGonagall up the wall either." [Y/N] found herself laughing hard at his comment. He was just like she remembered, before the war. Not trying to be funny it just came naturally. He looked happy. "That's amazing. I'm glad everything's going so well for you. God! It's been so long." "Too long."

There they went staring again. Both in awe of one another.

[Y/N] was the one to realise, or perhaps Fred just didn't care, but sensing the lull in conversation she cleared her throat - glancing over the room briefly.

"George is here." Fred spoke abruptly. Desperate to keep talking with her he threw out the first thing that came to mind. "A few of us came out for drinks tonight. Would you like to join us? I mean, if you aren't expecting someone." The words left a fowl taste on his tongue and an ache in his chest, praying she weren't with anyone. "No, I'm here alone", prayers answered. "But I couldn't possibly impose." "Impose? Please! We'd be offended if you didn't." He joked "come oooon...one drink?" putting on his best puppy dog eyes, that silent beg she never could resist. She pursued her lips, pondering his request for a moment. Would it be awkward? God she hoped not. "Okay." She raised a finger in front of her face with a stern expression, "one drink." "Atta girl!" He grinned widely, taking her wrist in his hand and whisking her through the close knit crowd to a booth to the back of the room.

Safe to say she was there a lot longer than one drink. As one turned to two, two turned to three and soon the minutes had stretched well into hours. Everything felt so safe and familiar back in the company of her old friends. Soon enough though, as was inevitable, it was just the two sat within the booth as everyone else vacated for the bar, dance floor or home.

In the comfort of each others company the two couldn't help but reminisce, on their Hogwarts days mostly. The two were in hysterics as [Y/N] recalled the time she failed to prank Snape which lead to Fred swooping to her rescue, taking the fall. "I had detention for a month after that." He laughed at the memory, "I said I was sorry!" [Y/N] was wiping tears from her eyes. "Hands were blistered to Hell by the time I'd polished all those damn trophies." As her stomach cramped [Y/N] burried her head in her hands, trying to compose herself but failing. Fred watched her, shoulders quaking in silent laughter at how adorable she looked in this moment. Finally having control of herself once again [Y/N] adjusted her posture while stretching her jaw that'd cramped from smiling so much.

Fred lifted his glass to his lips readying himself to drink, "I still remember the day you confessed your undying love for me", he threw his head back finishing the beverage. "Practically screammed it for the whole school to hear." He smirked. "Oh it was not like that!" "It most certainly was!"

"Just tell me what's wrong!" Fred bellowed, storming after the angry girl ahead of him. Arms wide pleadingly.

"It doesn't matter! None of it matters now!" [Y/N] called over her shoulder as she rounded the corner into a quiet corridor.

"Clearly..." Fred ran to stand in front of her, hands grasping her shoulders to keep her in place, "it does." She rolled her eyes, turning her head away from him. "It doesn't matter because I am over you Fred!" She pulled out of his grip standing confidently before him. "I'm over you."

Freds face lost all emotion. They stood in silence as realisation dawned on [Y/N] slowly, rising through her spine like a chill. A hand coming to cover her mouth as the other wrapped around her stomach like she was going to be sick. "You're over me?" [Y/N] backed away from him and found herself pressed against a cold stone wall eye's wide in horror. "When-when were you...under me?" His brows furrowed, turning confused to find her on the ground now, hands tugging at the roots of her hair with knees to her chest.

An endearing sort of chuckled rolled from his throat past his lips, sounding dangerously close to a scoff. Shock subsiding slightly he shook his head while approaching his best friend. Crouching before her.

"Look at me."

[Y/N] shook her head quickly. Hiding her eyes in the palms of her hands. "No." she mumbled.

"Please, look at me"

"No!"

"[Y/N]!"

"NO!"

"Oh for the love of - [Y/N]!" her arms were suddenly being pulled from her face as she was made to stand infront of him.

Embarrassed by her confession [Y/N] became defensive, "WHAT!? Okay, yes, I like you! I have for a while. I tried not to, tried to stop myself but I couldn't! I'm sorry! So go ahead. Make your jokes. Have a good laugh, I don't care anymore!" She was waving her arms frantically as she yelled. Staring directly into his eyes, which were glaring incredulously back. "You're insufferable, you know that!?" He snapped. [Y/N] scoffed, mouth falling wide at the insult. "Oh yeah? Well, you're a-"

Her next words were cut out by Freds lips on hers, hands cupping her face before one looped the small of her back to bring their bodies tight against each other. Her hands held onto his biceps. She felt herself melt into the kiss she'd been dreaming about for months, although it was under vastly different circumstances. Moaning softly at the warmth spreading through her body. Much to her dismay Fred let go of her, pulling back to catch his breath. A grin forming on his face as he looked down at her. "I'm a what?" His tone playful. [Y/N] stood breathless for a moment glancing at his lips, " You're a...really good kisser." She whined pulling him back in for another.

Fred was doubled over in their booth from unrestrained laughter. "Okay, so maybe a few people heard. There was an awful lot of yelling." [Y/N] giggled, watching him fondly.

"LAST DRINKS!" called the bartender. Their attention shot towards them, expressions falling solemn. When had it gotten so late?

"I-I should probably get going." She kept her eyes on the bar as she mumbled the words knowing if her eyes met his she'd crumble. Freds eyes were fixed to her profile. This couldn't be it. He wasn't ready to say goodbye. "I'll walk you." He jumped from his seat, "still at the same place?" He smiled and reached his hand out for her to take. Finally her gaze met his, smiling immediately, she took his hand nodding.

The walk home was interesting, to say the least. Both were considerably drunker than they realised, stumbling about the Alley way they were relying solely on one another for the stability to remain upright. Fred was cracking jokes as [Y/N] all but hung from his arm where their elbows interlocked.

Howling laughter echoed noisely through the deserted street. Several times Fred found himself taking hold of her waist to keep her from falling. The last he decided it were safer just to keep them there. Hugging her tightly from behind they walked step-in-step, as he swayed her dramatically enjoying the giggles that erupted from her at the action. For anyone observing the scene they'd never wager the two weren't a couple.

[Y/N] was squirming under his hold as his fingers began tickling her sides. Eliciting various shrieks, squeals and 'no's from her mouth. She bent far forward trying to distance herself from his touch, Fred took advantage of the action sweeping her off her feet into a bridal style hold. "Right let's see now, where were you." He scanned the lining apartments counting to himself over the loud sound of [Y/N]s laughter. "Ah, here we are!" He exclaimed, jogging up the short flight of stairs to the door, effortlessly. "Your stop, M'lady" he bowed placing her feet firmly on the ground. "Why thank you kind Sir." She was visibly flustered from the amount of contact and laughter they had shared tonight. It just all felt so right with him.

As she rummaged her coat pocket for her keys and looked back to him the scene changed. Their faces falling sullen and the night deathly quiet. This was it wasn't it...goodbye?

"Thank you for walking me home and-and for tonight. I had fun." She swallowed the lump in her throat that formed over her awkwardness.

"Anytime" Fred shook his head, though he tried to smile it didn't last long. He felt like he could breathe again and to say goodbye meant suffocating. How could he tell her, tell her that a life without her in it wasn't worth living? How could he prove he's changed? Did she even feel the same way anymore? He searched her eyes, praying to find the answer hidden within them.

"Anyway, I should-" she gestured to the door with her keys.

"No, yeah. Of course." He smiled, but that hand that shot to rub the back of his neck gave him away. He was nervous. Even after two years she could still spot his tells a mile away. He wanted to say something and from the thundering in her chest [Y/N] could guess what it was. Because she felt it too. She was opening her mouth to speak -

"I'll see you." He was walking away. Why was he walking away?

[Y/N]s mouth fell open, watching him stride into the distance. Her mind willing her to do something. Say something. Fuck, say ANYTHING!

"FRED!" she stood at the edge of her stairs. The call of his name turning his attention back to her. Heart racing.

Her mind was fumbling over the words to say. The love of her life was there. He was right there waiting for her...

"I'm...I'm still under you." She kicked herself for how awkward that must have sounded.

Fred's head dropped in sigh. Running before his feet knew they were carrying him he leapt onto the landing beside her. Pulling her by the nape of her neck their lips crashed together. [Y/N] was smiling against his lips as tears trickled down her rosie cheeks. Fred broke his lips from hers, pushing their foreheads together as they caught their breath.

"You're insufferable, you know that?".

"I know."

There were a lot of words [Y/N] could use to describe Fred Weasley. He was passionate. Funny. Smart. Impulsive. But most importantly; he was Hers.

Completely.

#fred weasley x reader #fred weasley/reader #fred weasley angst #fred weasley fluff #fred weasley fanfic #fred weasley fanfiction #hp #hp imagine #fred weasley imagine #harry potter #harry potter imagine #writing is hard.#harry x reader #writing prompts #prompt fics

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love-fireflysong · 3 years

Text

yIt's done. It took me waaaay to long to write this piece out but between June and my computer apparently deciding to kick me in the teeth this month, the fact I made it to 5 full squares completed anyways I will gladly take as a victory! And, just fyi, this WILL be the last piece for this month. I know that there is still another four days left of June, but I am sick and tired of dealing with my keyboard so this is the last fic you're gonna see from me until I get a new laptop hopefully fairly soon. (Unless I decide that I'm desperate enough to try and write things out on my tablet of course...)

Anyways, the First Date trope was specifically requested by @jesus-hotsauce-christmas-cake when I let her know that the one she did guess (road trip) was going to be a second chapter of a twoshot. Which you still might get because I'm very likely going to be sharing the short little summary blurbs I had written down for each trope so people can very easily bully me into writing them anyways if people still wanted to read them. And even though it would be like months and months late, still post them under this bingo board because I can and I had a cool idea for what I was doing with the colours and layout before life decided to say 'NO!' in a very firm voice. (Unless of course the three lovely ladies that came up with this idea in the first place say no obviously)

Rambling over though now I promise. Chocolate Covered Confessions can be read over and AO3 of course, with the full fic also under the readmore as well.

Chocolate Covered Confessions

Trope: First Date Fandom: Until Dawn Characters: Ashley Brown, Chris Hartley Words: 8214 Rating: General (though reader beware there is some almost scandalous hand holding and a couple of scandalously public kisses. You have been warned...) Authors Notes: Oh look, more chrashley fluff. Who da thunk it? Pride month? What pride month? This is just me apparently figuring out how many different ways I can get Chris and Ash to confess their feelings. Because you only read like three of them, I still have another two waiting in the wings. Plus at least three others if you count climbing chrash lol.

Something was...weird. It wasn't something that Ashley could put her finger on just yet, but something was definitely off that was for sure. The problem of course was that she didn't even know where to start looking in the first place, because for the most part her day had been extraordinarily ordinary.

She, Chris, and Josh had planned to go and see a movie Saturday morning a few days back and then hang out the rest of the day. But seeing as they were, you know, best friends that certainly wasn't the issue. Not even close. They always made plans to do stuff like that together. And yeah, okay, so maybe Josh had 'coincidentally' texted them just before the movie started to let them know that something unavoidable had come up and he wasn't going to be able to meet up with them. And when her and Chris had brought up just waiting until a later showing when he was free, he had immediately been quick to affirm that nope, he was going to be busy the whole rest of the day actually. So the two of them could continue with their original plans and they could make it up to him another time.

While certainly suspicious, that wasn't what was wrong though. Josh had been flaking out on their plans more and more, especially when it was plans that took up an entire day. Ashley Brown wasn't stupid. No siree Bob she was not! She knew exactly what Josh was trying to do by leaving her to spend the day with Chris. Alone . And she appreciated it (she really did!), but if Chris was going to make a move then he would have done it ages and ages ago, because she sure as hell wasn't going to do it! Ashley Brown wasn't stupid, but she also wasn't exactly what you would call brave either.

Not that Chris had seemed to notice what Josh was pulling though, he had just sighed and rolled his eyes with a grumbled "fucking typical", and then the two of them had entered the theater to watch the movie. And as per their usual shtick when Josh wasn't there with them, Chris paid for the tickets while she paid for the food and drinks. Or, at least, that was how it normally went. Instead, when she had decided to take a run to the bathroom while he held their spot in the long concession line, she had come back to Chris waiting for her with the pop and popcorn already in hand. After brushing off her flustered apologies, he had explained that shortly after she had left, another cashier had popped on till so the line had gone down in half the time either had expected. And it seemed like a dick move to just wait there until she came back so he had just decided to get the food instead.

She still felt a little guilty about it honestly, even after swearing that she would get both the tickets and food next time.

And, to be completely fair to Josh, he hadn't exactly been missing out on a lot by skipping out on the movie. It wasn't a horror flick (he would never even think of skipping out on that after all) so it wasn't one that he would feel the need to make the two of them watch again with him. Which was more than fine honestly, because if she was to describe the movie in a single word, well, that word would definitely have been 'dreadful'. If she was given a few more words, then she would have easily elaborated and stated that it was 'a boring, plot-hole driven mess, with only extremely over-the-top action scenes and explosions every five minutes to carry any semblance of the extremely loosely written plot'. In other words, she had lost interest in the movie barely half an hour in, and considering that Chris had started scrolling through his phone bored, she wasn't alone in this boat either.

Still, Ashley had resolved herself to sit through this over-budgeted explosion fest if only because movie tickets were horribly expensive. Not to mention the fact that Chris had shelled out money for both the movie and the food. But then he had turned to her, asked if she was as bored to tears as he was, and once he got that confirmation, asked if she wanted to just ditch the movie entirely. And she did—she really, really did—but didn't want Chris to waste the money he had spent more. And then yet another explosion...exploded on screen, and she realized that she was wasting precious hours of her life that could be used to do something more fun and less mind-numbingly boring.

Like watching paint dry. That at least had a semi-cohesive plot.

And so the two of them had walked out, continuing to share the extra buttered popcorn between them (the movie may have been awful, but the popcorn certainly wasn't) as they left the movie theater behind and wandered into the nearby mall. That wasn't the strange thing either. The mall and subsequent window shopping had absolutely been part of their day plans after, even if those had been unexpectedly pushed forward a couple of hours.

Admittedly the art show that the mall was running in one of the empty storefronts was unexpected, but it had been simply a nice surprise and a great way to kill time. So after paying the $2 entrance fee, the two of them had continued to share the popcorn as they looked at some of the paintings and sculptures that had been on display, giggling childishly at most of them. And okay, so one of the curators had been glaring at them( or rather, at their greasy, butter-covered fingers) the whole time, but that had just been a little rude and insulting. Not strange. And that had stopped almost the moment they had run out of popcorn, Ashley nudging him in the stomach with her elbow as she licked her fingers clean, and the two of them laughing under their breaths at the curator who had looked exceptionally much more at ease once Chris had crumpled the empty bag into a ball.

The rest of their day in the mall had just been spent following the rest of their day's plan, wandering from shop to shop and browsing at all the things that caught their eyes, and then taking a break after a few hours to have a late lunch in the food court. The two of them checked out another couple of stores, these ones to try and get some ideas for Josh's birthday in another month, before moving onto the small arcade on the top floor. As part of their deal and agreement since it had just been Josh and Chris (Ashey not joining the duo until five years later), Chris bought the tokens needed while she scouted out the various games for an empty console and claimed it until he could join her in another couple of minutes.

They spent the next hour in there, trying to beat each other or work together depending on the game in question. They almost never played a game twice before moving onto the next one, in hopes to both try as many games as possible before their self imposed hour ended and to see if they could beat their previous high scores or make it onto the leaderboard in only a single try. But as the hour came to a close, they both made their way over to their final game: one of the racing simulators scattered around the arcade. And as had been done for ten years now, played to determine which of them would be paying for the tokens next time they came.

And once the race ended, with Ashley winning by photo finish for the third time in a row (and celebrating her winning streak by maturely sticking out her tongue and doing an awkward little shimmy dance in the seat while Chris jokingly sulked and pouted), they had finally left the mall altogether and got into Chris's truck. There, he had surprised Ashley with the novel she had been eyeing in the bookstore (or at least, eyeing closer than all the rest she had picked up) and that he had somehow been able to buy without her noticing. And that certainly hadn't been weird, because it had been so exceptionally sweet of him, sweet enough that Ashley had so badly wished that she could thank him properly. But as mentioned before, Ashley Brown was a coward pure and simple, so she had just clutched the book to her chest and beamed at Chris in heartfelt thanks instead.

He may have said something in reply, but Ashley had already settled into the passenger seat and opened to the first page of the book, so she was already long gone. A fact that Chris had anticipated, if the light chuckle he had let out before starting the truck meant anything. And no, Ashley reading a book while Chris drove them to their usual game store across town was not the strange thing either. If Chris hadn't wanted her to read on the drive over and talk to him, then he never would have given her the book now of all times. He would have waited until he had dropped her off home, or not even bought the book in the first place. After over a half a decade of friendship, if anyone knew what would happen after giving Ashley Brown a new book, it was Chris Hartley.

The drive over is done quicker then she had expected, and even then Chris still hadn't let her know that they had arrived until she had finished her chapter. Yes he had certainly teased her about it the entire time, joking about how she would never find someone as understanding of her reading habits then him (he didn't know how right he was, that she didn't want to find anyone else), but the fact that he had just continued to let the music play in the truck and distracted himself on his phone was so unbearably sweet that she decided to let it lie.

The fact that Ashley and Chris hung around in the game shop comparing dice and looking at new books while wincing over the prices for nearly two hours wasn't what was off either. Hell, if anything the fact that they only spent a couple of hours there before leaving was weird! Her, Chris, and Josh could easily spend almost half a day in there flipping through comics and rolling dice to test them out, only leaving because a tired employee was forced to ask them to leave for making too much noise and taking up a table when they weren't playing anything, especially when there was a group that had been waiting for a table for close to an hour now.

Which brought Ashley to where she was right now, sitting at a sticky plastic table under the shade of a cheap umbrella while Chris had run off to get them some ice cream before dropping her off at home. Her new book was open in front of her, the pages crisp white even in the umbrella's shade, but her mind wasn't on the book anymore. A random line had a character mentioning that something had been feeling off all day ever since they woke up ('like everything had been moved three centimeters to the left, so while it all looked normal, nothing felt right anymore'), and Ashley had also realized that hey, wait a second, her day was also feeling just a little wonky too! But no matter how hard she thought about it, she couldn't put her finger on exactly what it was. Today had just been a normal day hanging out with Chris after all. They went to see (and bailed) a movie, spent hours hanging out in the mall and at the game store, and now they were each going back home. Nothing unusual had happened, so why did it feel like something hugely monumental had been going on all day?

"Oi. Earth to Ash, you okay in there?"

A light flick to the center of Ashley's forehead has her blink in surprise, and she finds herself back into the present once again. Chris is standing next to her, carefully balancing the two cones in his right hand and his left ready to flick again if needed, and a bemused smile on his face.

"Oh, uh, sorry Chris. Got a little too into the book I think." She closes the book, not wanting to get melting ice cream all over its crisp white pages (and she really hasn't absorbed a single word for nearly ten minutes now), but Chris doesn't hand her the cone just yet.

"Yeah, I'm not buying that," Chris says as he snorts in disbelief. "I know your 'praise be to books' look, and that was not it. That was your 'head full, too many thoughts' look."

"Excuse me? What? I do not have a reading look! Or a thinking look for that matter!"

"Oh you do. You really, really do. Trust me. You may have been staring at that book but there was no way that you were reading, I would bet my own ice cream here on it." Chris brandishes his double chocolate cone at her, then seems to reconsider and switches to show off her own dipped soft serve that he still has yet to actually let her eat. "Actually, you know what? I would eat your dipped monstrosity if I'm wrong."

Ashley sighs, but she can't keep the smile from her face. "It's not that bad this time, oh my god. It's chocolate ice cream dipped in blueberry syrup. This is actually a normal combination for people who go out of their way to order more exciting cones then two scoops of chocolate." She leans forward and places her elbows on the table to support her head in her hands. "But I wanna see you do it anyway, so tell me exactly why you're so convinced that I wasn't reading."

Chris opens his mouth, but immediately closes it a second later, as though he didn't realize exactly what he had signed himself up for here until now. Ashley of course takes it as a sign of victory. "I knew it. So let's see this Chris, I wanna see you eat something that isn't—"

"When you read you get, like, super attentive." Chris's face is pink, and not looking at her but at the book on the table as he bashfully continues. "You become so drawn in to whatever you're reading that you ignore everything going on around you, because all of your attention is now on that book. Pretty sure a bomb could go off right next to you and you wouldn't even notice sometimes. And it's always so easy to tell what's happening in the book when you're reading too, cause your face is always so expressive. Like your eyes get big when something exciting or surprising happens, and when you're really enjoying whatever it is you're reading, you start giggling like a loon."

Ashley is too stunned and, quite frankly, her heart is beating too fast for her to even think of a proper response to that . She manages to squeak out a quiet little "oh, um" but Chris doesn't notice. Not when he's still babbling and not looking at her at all.

"But when you get deep in thought, you're not like that at all. All of your attention goes inward, and everything around you disappears cause all the important stuff is going on inside your head right now. Your mouth falls open just a little, sort of like you're gaping at all the information in front of you. And-and sometimes you'll mouth out what's going on inside your head as you try to fit the pieces of everything together so it's neat and tidy like a puzzle. And even though you have the, like, blankest stare imaginable, it's not empty at all if that makes any sense. Cause your eyes narrow and your forehead scrunches just the tiniest amount so you have a small little wrinkle form like right here—" with his unoccupied hand Chris points at the bridge of his nose right between his eyes "—and it's weirdly, insanely cute? But when you finally figure out the puzzle in your head, your face lights up like a kid on christmas morning and...and..." He lets his words trail off and stops awkwardly there, as though finally realizing exactly what he's been saying this entire time.

His face is almost beet red now, and Ashley is pretty sure hers is too. "Oh, uh, wow. I-I didn't realize you paid any attention to me when I was like that..."

Somehow his face only gets redder, and though he mumbles the words under his breath, Ashley can still make them out. "I'm always paying attention to you."

But not close enough attention it seems, she thinks sadly. If you did then you would have noticed something way more obvious than that. But she doesn't want to embarrass him anymore than he already is (then she already is), and she isn't sure what else she could possibly say that wouldn't be her blurting out that she likes him, so instead she pretends that she hadn't heard a single thing and wordlessly accepts the ice cream that he hands to her, accepting her defeat as she takes a small bite of the blueberry covered chocolate soft serve.

...The blueberry covered chocolate soft serve that he had bought for her. Or, you know, the ice cream he had paid for himself. Just like he had paid for everything today. Kind of like it was almost a, uh, date. Like he had taken her on a date.

Oh .

"Oh boy, let me guess: I was right and your ice cream really is a crime against taste buds?"

Ashley comes crashing back down to reality to see Chris, his face still a little red but the playful smile back on his face as he teased her. And yet, that only makes it worse as she can't help but feel the usual gymnastics routine the butterflies in her stomach perform at that particular smile, only they're a thousand times worse now that's she's realized exactly why today had felt so strange. And she can't help thinking how much everyone else would classify what was just a day hanging out with her best friend as a date. And how much she really, really wished it was one.

"Nope," she unfortunately squeaks out, and clears her throat so she can continue in a more normal tone of voice. "Nope, sorry to disappoint Chris, but the ice cream tastes fine." She takes another bite for proof (and to her credit she's not lying, it tastes more than fine). "Just, uh, realized something funny that's all." And the moment the words leave her mouth she realizes just how badly she's screwed everything up, because there is no way in any world that Chris Hartley is just going to let that comment lie.

"Funny? Oho, well now I'm interested. You mind sharing your glorious epiphany with the rest of the class Miss Brown?"

Taking another small taste of her ice cream, Ashley averts her gaze as she gives what she is kicking herself for is obviously an extremely forced laugh. "Did I say funny? I meant boring, just super boring actually."

"Well now I just want to hear it more."

"No, you don't. Trust me, you really, really don't."

Chris's brows furrow in concern. "Ash? You okay?"

She isn't, of course she isn't. She's now realized exactly what a date with Chris would be like, and it would be exactly like this. With them going to all the same place and doing the same things but she's allowed to hold his hand and kiss him when he does stupid sweet things like buying her the book she's been eyeing and talking about all day. She's never wanted something to be so true so badly in her life. And it's likely this thought in her mind that causes her to blurt out "A date." before she even realizes what she's said.

That only makes the confusion on Chris's face go deeper, which is appropriate considering she's sinking deeper and deeper into her chair in a futile effort to hide or escape as well. "What? Are you saying that you just remember what date it is today? Or that you had something you were supposed to do today instead? I'm not really following you right now Ash..."

This is perfect. It's the perfect excuse, she could laugh and say that she totally forgot what day it was and that she had an essay due pretty soon, or that she was supposed to babysit for a neighbour tonight. Anything really, the sky was quite literally the limit. And instead she just bit her lip and stared at the ice cream melting in her hand before weakly admitting "No, a, uh, date. As in, the romantic kind. I realized that today probably looks like a date to anyone else. Funny, huh?"

She's not sure how Chris would react to that. Maybe a startled laugh, and hand wave as he brushes her off. A scoff as he assures her that this definitely isn't a date, cause they're just friends and that's all they'll ever be. Whatever the reaction she expected, it was certainly not the fumbling for his ice cream as he nearly drops it in his shock, and how absolutely flustered he sounds as he trips over his own tongue. "W-what? I-I-I, uh—I mean, th-this obviously isn't—Who would even—? Wh-what would even give you the idea that we could um, possibly be on a date?"

Ashley shrugs weakly. "Isn't it obvious Chris?" She ignores his even more flustered babbling that no, he absolutely did not see what was so obvious as she continued on, still too nervous to look him in the eyes. "You've kind of paid for everything today."

"I wha—? I mean, no I haven't!"

"You kind of have, Chris. The theater?"

"You know I always pay for the tickets, and it would have just been really rude to make the line even longer!"

"The art show?"

"It was just a couple of toonies! And you saw the face of the worker there, they would have kicked us right out if they'd had to break a twenty. It was just easier."

"Lunch?"

"They-they'd had a special on for a two-person meal at that stall in the food court, and they wouldn't let each of us pay half..." he neglected to point out that Ashley could have easily paid for their lunch, and probably should have, but before she had been able to offer he'd already been swiping his debit card.

"The arcade?"

"Okay, that was my turn to buy the tokens, you know that. That one doesn't even count."

Ashley lifted her eyes from the ice cream to the book that sat menacingly and innocently all at one at the center of the table, it's pristine cover mocking her. "The book?"

"T-that was just a gift! You seemed really into it at the store and friends buy each other gifts all the time—"

There was no describing how soft and nervous her voice got as she asked the question that would put the final nail in the coffin. "The ice cream?"

"I, uh, it was just—um..." Chris let out a breath in a weak chuckle. "Shit, I guess I kind of did, huh?"

Ashley doesn't say anything, and neither does Chris, as the table goes silent. She's bracing herself for when Chris inevitably shoots her down and confirms that it doesn't matter. That the two of them will never be anything more then friends and that she never should have hoped for anything more and by revealing this she's ruined their friendship for good—

"Hey, uh, Ash?" He sounds so nervous that it immediately takes Ashley out of her anxiety driven thoughts of doom and gloom, but she can't do anything more than just shakily nod to let him continue. "It's, uh, probably like a really, really, really stupid question but—" he takes a nervous breath "—did you want this to be a date?"

Her head immediately shoots up as she stares at him with wide eyes, her breath caught somewhere in her throat where her heart is currently lodged. She frantically rakes her eyes over Chris's face looking for any hint that he's mocking her, or playing some cruel joke on her and her feelings, but all she sees is just nervousness all over a pale, shaking face with what she thinks ( prays ) is a glimmer of undisguised hope. But it's still too much uncertainty, and she's too scared to risk it all on a mere glimmer that she is likely only imagining because she wants it so badly to be real, so she throws the question back at him instead.

"...would you have been opposed if this was actually a date?"

"Nuh uh, I asked you first."

Ashley realizes that he's just as scared at what the answer might be as she is. She wants to tell him, has wanted to tell him for years and years and years. And maybe this is the chance she's been waiting for her whole life. The two of them sitting at a sticky plastic table under the early evening sun, long forgotten ice cream melting in their hands, and she can finally tell him that she's had such a huge crush on him since she was twelve.

"Yeah." The word is less choked out than it is released. Like it's a breath of fresh air and she feels simultaneously lighter and heavier for it. "I-I think I would have liked that. I would have liked that alot."

Chris snaps his gaze up to meet hers, and the glimmer of hope that she had seen earlier has now nearly taken over his face at the disbelieving smile that's threatening to crack his face in two. "Really? I-I mean, uh, I would have been alright with the idea too. More than alright actually."

She can feel her own smile start to nervously match his, and then the first giggle breaks out. His own ecstatic laughter quickly follows her own until the two of them are both giddily laughing at the table, but too embarrassed and bashful to even look at each other now. The giggling abruptly cuts off when Chris lets out a yelp of surprise when he realizes how much of his ice cream has melted onto his hand and Ashley joins him in trying to finish off their ice cream before it's melted entirely. But there's definitely a change in the atmosphere around them now. The contentness and laid back ease that always formed between them whenever they hung out was still there, but there is a charge that hadn't been there before either. An excited anticipation that only surges higher and higher whenever Ashley shyly glances in Chris's direction to find he's looking at her with the same disbelieving smile beaming on his face.

They never say anything more about it as they both finish off the ice cream, but Ashley knows. With that little agreement, the entire day had changed. This wasn't just them hanging out as friends anymore, this was an actual, factual date now, pure and simple. So when Chris hands her a couple of extra napkins to clean herself off, she may have let her fingers brush against his for just a moment. The resulting blush and dumbstruck smile on his face when he cautiously took his hand back so he could clean up the rest of the mess on the table was oh so worth it. And when he returned from his trip to the garbage can and held out his hand as an offer to help her up from the chair, she accepted it readily.

Once she's back on her feet, the two of them drop their eyes to stare at their still clasped hands, realizing that they could easily hold hands the entire short walk back to Chris's truck if they wanted. And she does want that—horribly in fact—but it seems it's still a little too early for either of them to make that teeny tiny but monumental jump to hand holding so they let go awkwardly and slowly, letting their fingers linger against the others before letting go completely. As though giving themselves a taste of what may yet actually come to pass in the (hopefully) very near future.

The short walk back to the truck is filled with both anticipation and dread alike, but unusually silent. Ashley knows it's because she's now a buzzing ball of nervous energy, terrified that saying anything at all will shatter this dream that's apparently coming true before her eyes, but Chris is different. He looks more like he's trying to work up the courage to say or ask something, and is spending all his energy on that alone. So when he reaches out to open up the passenger side door for her, Ashley can feel her heart pick up speed when he stops with his hand on the door handle and looks at her nervously. His mouth opens and shuts a couple of times as he tries to work up the courage to say whatever it is he wants to say, and all she can do is stare at him expectantly as she struggles to hold back an excited smile.

"Hey, Ash, ca—nevermind. It's, it's stupid. Don't worry about it." A second later, he has the door opened for her and the moment she can't see his face, she lets her smile fall crestfallen. But only for a second before a polite one replaces it as thanks when he closes the door for her and continues to his side of the truck. It's fine, she supposes as she buckles herself in, while the two of them have been hanging out all day, it's only been an actual date now for barely ten minutes. And once he drops her off home in just another few short minutes it's going to be over. The fact that she even managed to get this far is franky mind blowing, so expecting anything more from her dreams would just be extremely selfish. She can't have everything she wants all at once, no matter how long she's been waiting for it.

The drive back to her place is also quiet, filled with only the droning of the radio playing in the background. Ashley's returned back to her book, but she knows that Chris knows that she's not absorbing a single word, hasn't turned a single page even. She keeps glancing at him out of the corner of her eye as he nervously taps at the steering wheel, and then tightening his grasp when it looks like he's going to say something, only to return to the nervous tapping when he inevitably backs out at the last second and returns to the frantic pep talk he's likely giving himself. The air that fills the vehicle is heavy and thick with anticipation and it's taking almost everything in Ashley to not start shaking the question out of Chris at every red light they stop at.

But, eventually, they pull up in front of her place and Chris stops the truck. There's a moment where the two of them just sit there, not wanting to leave because leaving means the end, and Ashley schools her face into a cheery smile in an effort to hide as much of the disappointment as she can when she turns to face him and bid him farewell, only to have it fall to confusion when he starts fumbling at his own seatbelt.

"Chris? What are you doing?"

He struggles further at it, frustrated that the buckle's apparently decided that now is the perfect time for it to stick once again. "Trying to get this fucking thing off."

"Yeah, I figured that much. But why are you trying to take it off, you're just gonna leave right away again anyway."

He slows his fumbling as cheeks start darkening in embarrassment. "I, uh, I just thought that was something you were supposed to do after a date, walk them to their door to stay goodnight. I mean, at least I think this is a date now? And, and only if you're okay with it! I can stay in here instead if you don't want me to. I was just hoping..."

The once forced cheery smile on her face is certainly not being forced any longer, if anything she's trying not to show how much the idea of Chris walking her to her door thrills her. "N-no!" Well, so much for trying not to show how desperately she wants that. The startled look he gives her at the unexpected outburst had her trying to control her voice into something less desperate, but considering she doesn't think she's ever going tame the frantic butterflies that have been flapping around non-stop in her stomach ever since the ice cream realization, she's probably doing a terrible job of it. "I-I mean if you want to, it's completely up to you after all..."

"Cool. Cool cool cool. Just, just give me a second." He continues to struggle with his seatbelt buckle, letting out more and more agitated curses escape the longer the thing continues to stick, and Ashley is getting the feeling that if he was able, Chris would have ripped the entire thing straight out of the seat by now. Broken safety laws and ensuing repair costs be damned. The moment he finally manages to unstick the traitorous buckle it's with a cry of victory and relief so exuberant that Ashley finds herself laughing in disbelief and awe that he had wanted to walk her the short ten or so feet to her front door that badly. Thankfully, for both of them, her seatbelt unclicks easily and much more quickly in comparison, only taking another couple of seconds to grab her bag from the footwell and joining him.

The far too short walk up to her door is over before either of them realize it. One second the two of them had been standing awkwardly and nervously by the truck as she fought the urge to reach out and grab his hand, and the next they're standing just as awkwardly and nervously (if not moreso) in front of the front door. Both of them waiting for the other to say or do something to break the tension, but cleanly aware that doing so would signal the very final end of the day, and the date. In fact, just knowing that Chris doesn't want this to end just as badly as her, is what gives her the courage to look at him with a surprisingly heartfelt and soft smile.

"Today was fun."

Chris lifts his eyes from where they had been staring at the dried leaves on the doorstep to match her smile. "Yeah. It was."

"And thanks. For the movie, and everything else." Ashley raises her hand to give the new and still shiny paperback a small wave. "And, you know, the book too. Of course."

"Yeah, it was no problem. Anytime." There's something with how he says the last bit—not really emphasizing it but making it clear all the same that he means 'anytime'—that causes her face to flush giddily as she pulls her lower lip in between her teeth in a weak effort to fight back against the ecstatic smile that forms anyway. And when she sees his eyes lower just a smidge to follow the motion and the way his shoulders stiffen in reaction, Ashley very quickly also finds she's trying (much more successfully) to hold herself back from just saying 'to hell with it' and throwing her arms around Chris so she can finally kiss him silly and until they're both breathless. But considering that she's too much of a coward to initiate something as innocent as hand holding apparently, there is absolutely no way that something as...as scandalous as kissing him on her doorstep is ever going to happen. Clearly.

And yet, she gives Chris another few seconds to try and work past that blockade in his throat, but when he still can't muster a single word, she decides to just put the both of them out of their misery. Or further into it. It's probably just the same thing really. "I guess I'll see you next time. I'll talk to you later, okay?" She turns away and puts her hand on the doorknob, and tucks the book under her arm so she can dig into her bag for keys, but is stopped when Chris's hand abruptly snakes out and wraps itself firmly around her wrist before she can reach into the bag. And it works—boy does it ever —turning back to him and the hand wrapped around her wrist as excitement just starts to bubble up inside of her.

A second later though, his brain has apparently caught up with the movement he clearly hadn't intended to make, because his face goes beet-red and he's dropped her hand so he can shove both into the pockets of his jeans. He averts his eyes so he's back to staring at the loose gravel and dried leaves under their feet.

"Oh, uh, sorry about that. I didn't mean to..."

"It's fine, Chris." Ashley tries to smile softly at him in reassurance, but it's considering she's gripping the doorknob in an almost vice-like grip in anticipation, it's likely far more eager than she would like. "What is it?"

Somehow, his face goes even redder and he blurts out the question so fast that it may as well have been one word. "CanIkissyou?!"

Immediately, Ashley's gaping at him wide-eyed and her mouth open in shock as her heart's beating so fast that she's pretty sure it's ready to burst out of her chest at any moment. "Wha—"

"I-I mean goodnight. Can I kiss you goodnight? That's what people are supposed to do on dates, right? A-a-a-and I think we agreed that this is a date now, or at least I really, really hope we did. Cause I've wanted to go on a date with you for the longest time and-and-and I didn't want Saundra or-or-or any of your neighbours to see cause I know that would just really embarrass you and me but I've been trying to ask you for the past thirty minutes now cause I've wanted to kiss you since forever but I was scared about how you would react cause I really, really, really like you Ash and I just wanna to kiss you so fucking bad right now you have no idea and—"

Ashley would like to believe that she's brave enough to throw her arms around Chris and drag him down into that searing kiss she's been dreaming about forever and ever, but she doesn't. Even with a confession that is everything she's ever wanted to hear and more. That's not to say that she doesn't want to do it—god does she want to do it—but she's so frozen in place from shock that she physically can't. So instead she just continues to gape at him as he (adorably) rambles on and on, and giggles out an elated little "okay".

His nervous rambling stops dead in its tracks, and he finally looks back up at her, nervous relief evident all over his face. "Really? I mean, are you sure? I'd understand if you didn't want to—"

" Chris ."

That immediately shifts the relief to a different kind of nervousness entirely, one of excited disbelief, but even then neither move to actually initiate this promised kiss for several seconds. Instead just staring at each other waiting for the other to be the first to move, Chris with his hands still in his jeans pockets and Ashley glued to the doorknob with her other hand frozen as it hovers over her bag. Finally, Chris is the first to slowly bend down to meet her awkwardly half turned body, and she unsteadily tries to rock herself onto the tips of her toes without losing her balance completely and falling over. And still, they both pause about an inch away from each other's faces, though whether to give the other an out if needed or just to work through the logistics of how to do this exactly without their foreheads or noses smashing into each other or Chris's glasses getting in the way is anyone's guess.

But finally, mainly due to the fact that Ashley can't lean forward anymore without falling completely on her face, Chris closes that final bit of distance and kisses her. It's a nervous brush of the lips really—a quick peck at best —but they jolt back from each other so quickly that the single action may as well have activated some hidden magnetic repel function that neither had been aware of until this moment. Both of them are staring at each other wide-eyed and breathless as the magnitude of what they had both finally managed to accomplish hit them. The kinda-sort confession and the almost hand holding meant absolutely nothing in comparison to this. Those she could have (and would most likely have) brushed off as her reading too much into innocent statements and gestures when she thought over everything that had happened today in the safety of her room later tonight. But this? This was physical proof .

Looking back, Ashley's not sure which of them moved first. One second they had been staring at each other in disbelief, stuck in the same awkward bent and leaning stature from before, and the next it's as if the magnetic attraction between them reverses its flow entirely. Chris is cupping her cheek with one hand as he kisses her in the way she always dreamed he would, his other hand slowly skating across the back of her neck so he can pull her up closer to him. The book that had once been clutched protectively under her arm was completely forgotten about—fallen to the ground with a sharp crunch as it crushed the dried leaves beneath their feet—as her arms wrapped possessively around his shoulders as she props herself as high as the tips her toes will allow her. She can still taste a hint of the chocolate from earlier on his lips, and the small part of her that isn't being blown away by all of this is wondering if he can taste the blueberry and chocolate on hers as well.

She's not sure how long the two of them stood there on her doorstep, kissing for all the world to see, but she does know that they still separate much, much too soon for her liking. Not that they fully separate of course. She may be back on the soles of her feet, but neither of them have removed themselves from the embrace itself. And with the way that Chris is lightly brushing his thumb over her cheekbone as he just stares at her with the same stupidly giddy grin she's got, Ashley would be perfectly fine if they could just stay standing like this forever.

"So..." she starts, and stops to take a moment to giggle when Chris bumps his nose into hers. "I think that was a perfectly acceptable first date if you ask me."

Chris doesn't let go of her when he leans back to consider her, the comically raised eyebrows in shock doing nothing to take away from the absolutely thrilled beam of his smile. " First date? Why Miss Brown, are you perhaps asking me out for a second one already?"

"I mean, if it's not too presumptuous of me, I suppose I am. I-if you're not opposed to it of course." She can't help the way her nervousness starts to bleed through with that last sentence, already panicking that she's somehow completely misread everything that's just happened and that maybe that kiss didn't mean as much to him as it did to her after all.

His next words completely derail those fears entirely. "Of course I'm not, I would love nothing more than to go on a second date with you. Followed by a third and fourth and even a fifth if you have the time for it."

"I mean, I'm a pretty busy girl but I think I can open up as many days in my schedule as it takes if I need to."

Before she knows it, the two of them are leaning in for another kiss when the sound of pot being dropped in the nearby kitchen through the open window jarringly brings them back to reality and the two of them let go of each other red faced and embarrassed. Oh no, how much of this had her mother heard? Or worse, saw? She wants to leave the doorstep (which is rapidly becoming her favourite place in the whole entire world) even less now, but the longer she takes the worse the excited interrogation from Saundra will be so she starts digging back into her bag to try and find her keys once again.

"I'll text you later, okay? And, maybe, we can talk some more about that second date...?"

The reply from Chris is flustered but eager. "Yeah, totally. I-I wouldn't miss it for the world."

"Cool. And um, the next one's one me. The date that is. It's only fair after all."

"Yeah, right. Only fair. Totally. And, uh, your book..."

She finally finds her keys from where they had sunk to the bottom of her bag, and looks up at him and the paperback book that had fallen during their, uh, intimate embrace. "Oh! Uh, right. Thanks." She could easily leave it at that, but the last few minutes have made her bold so when she reaches out to take the book back from him, Ashley curls her fingers over his and bounces onto the balls of her feet so she can give him one last kiss on his cheek—almost the corner of his mouth really—before finally stepping back with the book and keys in her hand. "I mean it. Thanks . For everything."

"Yeah. No problem. It was my pleasure."

She lets herself have one last glimpse of the stupefied grin on his face just as he turns to walk just a little unsteadily down the path back to his truck. The only sounds being the leaves crushing underfoot and the jangle of metal as she sticks her keys into the door to finally unlock it. A sound that it quickly interrupted by not only the click of the door unlocking, but a muffled shout.

Alarmed, she turns quickly expecting to see Chris having accidentally shut his coat into the door as he is sometimes known to do when the weather gets colder, but instead watches in elated shock as he continues to keep energetically flapping his arms and fist pumping into the air and screaming what she can vaguely make out as 'yesyesyesyesYESYESYES' over and over again.

Suddenly it hits her. Despite the shy confession over ice cream, and then the much more rushed and rambled one only minutes ago, and followed by the kiss(es) that are still sending her heart into rapid fire, Ashley still hadn't believed what all the evidence had been saying. Chris liked her. He really, really liked her. Possibly as much as she liked him even! This wasn't just a one-off event that would now make things awkward between them for the rest of their lives. This was happening. They'd just had a first(!!!!) date and after Chris had kissed her goodbye, she had asked him out for a second one.

And he had accepted .

Ashley fumbled with the door and the moment she was in the house, slammed the door behind her, not even bothering to lock it. She let her bag fall from her shoulder to the floor with a soft thump and slowly slid down the door until she was sitting against it with her eyes wide and breathless. She ignored the surprised clatter coming from the kitchen as Saundra immediately dropped whatever it was she had been doing in and held up the book so she could stare at the once innocuous cover in amazement.

He had bought her this book and the ice cream because he liked her and he had gladly and excitedly accepted to go out on another date with her. And even more if he had been serious about that third date and beyond line.

And not that either would ever know it, Ashley mirrored Chris at that exact moment by placing her head into her hands and screaming as the built up joy and bliss finally exploded out of her.

#pride month prompt challenge #my writing #until dawn #chris hartley #ashley brown #chrashley #take two of trying post this stupid thing!#tumblr deleted the last one >:(#but this one actually copied over the italics so that saves me a shit ton of time if im being honest

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criminalminds4days · 3 years

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Family Matters | Chapter 4: Saying Sorry is a Virtue

Hello my beautiful souls!!

I hope this of you who celebrate Christmas had and amazing time, and those if you who don't had a great Friday!

I had a really chill holiday, and although I was supposed to be home and that didn't happen, I'm still glad I had a good time. I got a watch for Christmas and I'm obsessed!!

Anyway, I also wanted to let you guys know I'll be posting the story on Wattpad, and thanks to @meowiemari I also have a cover. I have attached it below! My wattpad user is @criminalminds4days so feel free to follow and read along!

Anyway, I hope you like this chapter. It's one of my favorites. 💙💙

Warnings: Swearing, sexual references, violence and murder references, public embarrassment, and very bad jokes!

Word Count: 3.6k

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Tag list: @mcntsee @lets-be-gay-for-the-angel @evelyncade @haylaansmi @paulaern @myfandomlife-blog

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(This gif is not mine)

Chapter 4: Saying Sorry is a Virtue

It had been a little over three months since her absolute wrecking of the family retreat. She had managed to get her mom to get past it, and though she had promised to apologize to the rest of her aunts and uncles, she had not gotten around (well, more like she didn't think it was necessary, they probably had already forgotten, and she did actually mean every word she said).

Her team and she had evaded more danger than possible in the last couple of weeks, and she had a feeling today she would not be returning to her bed to sleep. She also had to figure out what she wanted to get Spencer for his birthday. She was so excited to celebrate with him that she wanted to spill her idea of a surprise birthday party to him, but she needed to remain strong. She just hoped he would like it, and that she could find something to give him. She knew him so much better now and had so many things that he would like, but she wanted this gift to be unique, something that reminded him of her. Not that she wanted him thinking about her all the time because that would be weird, but maybe once in a while?

A knock on her door made her get out of her head. She walked to see Tyler Hemingway standing on the other side.

"Can I come in?"

"Why?"

"I just-" He looked at the floor, nervous. "I was just hoping we could talk."

"We can talk right here, what do you want?"

"I just wanted to say I am sorry, for what happened."

"What exactly? That you humiliated me in front of my family, or that your wife called me and my boyfriend liars."

"All of it, I should have known better."

"Yes, you should have." She debated whether to say something else but decided against it. "I honestly don't understand where this is coming from, it was two years ago."

"I know, and I am also sorry it has taken me so long to say anything. I just didn't know how to approach the situation, and what we had was so special, I wish I hadn't ruined it."

She had waited to hear those words for so long that how wrong what she did, didn't occur to her until the damage had been done. Even if her feelings for the man in front of her were not the same as they were two years ago, those words were enough to make her become less hostile towards him. She let Tyler in, forgetting Spencer was waiting for her to pick him up in about twenty minutes.

"Spencer? Why are you late?"

"Because she didn't pick me up like she was supposed to. I assumed she may be running a little late, so I waited and then I called her, but it went straight to voicemail." He responded to Emily.

"That is so not like her, should we be worried?"

"I don't know, but I already am, maybe we should go see if she's home or something."

The elevator doors opened once again as Spencer and Emily were preparing themselves to raid her house in order to find her. She stepped out, a look of immense guilt present as her eyes landed on the brunette. He did not seem upset, more like relieved she was there. Emily dropped her jacket and embraced her, a huge weight lifting off her shoulders after seeing her. When she was released from the woman's hug, she directed her eyes back to him.

"I am so sorry; I was on my way-" before she could explain Aaron Hotchner told them to join the rest of the team at the round table to discuss the next case.

"This one is a bad one," JJ said as she read through the file. "These people are killing families. Not even the children are spared."

"Yeah, and it's only getting worse." Said Penelope as she shared the pictures of the crime scenes. She wished she could concentrate but Spencer kept glancing at her with worry. He knew something wasn't right, but she didn't know how to explain it without sounding like she was digging herself in a bigger hole.

She avoided him on the jet, as she pretended to be asleep and then engaged in a very interesting conversation with JJ about diapers and toddlers. As much as she loved the blonde, she sometimes didn't appreciate learning all these baby facts, it took the wishes to have children away faster than anything else.

She was now in a black SUV, with Spencer in the back seat and Emily driving. She sat in the front seat as they drove towards the hospital. One of the girls had been spared and they were hoping to talk to her about the unsubs.

"So, why were you late this morning?" Emily questioned, "You left Cinderella over there without his carriage."

"Yeah, I know. I am so sorry Spencer."

"It's okay, I just got worried."

"I know, and I am so sorry." She took a deep breath, preparing to explain to them why she had been delayed. "I just got some unexpected company this morning."

"Was it Anna?"

"No, she has been radio silent for these past couple of months, I'm assuming she is building a bulletproof alibi for when she decides to murder me."

"Is there something I should know about?" Emily asked as she stole glances at her.

"Spencer and I went to my family retreat a couple of months ago and when we were there I may or may not have basically told my aunts and uncles to go fuck themselves."

"You explicitly told them to do so." Spencer clarified.

"Why did you do that?"

"Because they all sucked. Emily if you would have been there, you would have done the same." Spencer responded. "But going back to the main topic, who came to your apartment today? Was it your mom?"

"We need to have a conversation about this whole family retreat thing!" The woman behind the steering wheel complained.

"I will tell you all about it tonight." She assured her. "And no, Spence, it wasn't my mom, it was someone a little closer to Anna."

"Her mom?"

"No, Tyler."

There was no response to that, Spencer looked like he didn't know exactly what he was feeling, while Emily seemed like she had returned to watch her favorite show only to find out she missed a whole season, and she had no idea what happened to the storyline she was following.

"Who's Tyler?"

"Anna's husband." She clarified, "he came to apologize for everything, and to say that he didn't think what Anna did was okay."

Reid scoffed, "and you believe him?"

"He seemed very genuine about it."

"Unbelievable."

"I am so lost right now."

"Spencer, are you upset about this?"

"Me? Why should I? It's not like I pretended to be your boyfriend to prevent him from making you feel any worse than he had already, and you ended up right back at where you started."

"Are you implying I slept with him?"

"I never said that."

"Well then what are you saying? Because need I remind you, he is a married man. I would never do something like that." She crossed her arms, becoming defensive of the situation. "He simply wanted to talk, so I listened. It was a conversation, and it's just going to be a dinner. Nothing more."

"Oh, so you're going on a date with him too?"

"It's not a date! Did I not mention he was married?! To another woman!"

"Being with someone else has never stopped him before."

"What is happening right now?" Emily asked, to no one in particular.

"Seriously Spencer?"

"Did I lie?"

"Why are you so worked up about this? It doesn't even concern you."

"I am upset, because even after he told you in front of all your family that he was in love with your cousin and married her, breaking your heart, he says, 'I'm sorry' and suddenly he's back on the top of your priority list." He spits out, his emotions running high.

"This man did what now?" Both looked at Prentiss as if remembering she was there all along.

"I can't believe you just said that! I confided in you."

"And I trusted you."

"It was one day! I forgot to pick you up one day and suddenly I am the worst person on this planet, really?"

"Are you seriously so oblivious to think this is about some stupid ride?"

"Guys,"

"No? Then what is this about? Is this about me making you look bad or something?"

"No, it's about the fact that after all we've been through and the fact that I have done all I can to help you and be there for you I am still less important than Tyler fucking Hemingway."

"Guys,"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Guys,"

"It doesn't even matter anymore, enjoy your dinner." He undid his seat belt. "Why didn't you tell me we were here Emily?"

"I have been trying."

"Let's go then." He said as he exited the SUV marching up to the hospital entrance.

"What is his problem?" She asked Emily, still heated by the discussion.

"Well,-"

Before Prentiss could respond she was cut off. "I mean, yes, this guy broke my heart but that doesn't mean I have to hold a grudge forever, right? I might as well move past it, don't you think?"

"If you ask me-"

"And it was one conversation, and we're going out to dinner to finish it, there is nothing wrong with that. I don't know why he got so worked up about it, do you?"

"Yeah-"

"You know what, screw Spencer, if he wants to be a jerk for no fucking reason, let him do it. I am not going to lose sleep over it, nor am I gonna give him explanations. Who the hell does he think he is?"

"I think-"

"Yeah, you're right Emily, when Reid decides to get his shit together he can talk to me, in the meantime, we need to find out who these unsubs are before they hurt anyone else." She undid her seatbelt and opened the door, Emily still sitting there, trying to figure out what the heck had just happened. "Aren't you coming?"

"Yeah, sure." She followed suit and they both entered the hospital. Spencer was speaking to the girl's nurse as they approached, he didn't make any comments, but he also didn't acknowledge her, nor invite her into the conversation as he did to Emily. He was acting professional and doing his job, but his stance and emotions were very clear by the lack of interactions between them unless it was absolutely necessary.

As soon as Emily entered the room to interview the victim, the silence that engulfed them made her heart tighten. Spencer and she had gone past this already, they were friends, there was never a silent moment between them, and now all of that seemed to vanish in the air, all because of her decision to let Tyler Hemingway apologize.

She chose to ignore the situation until further notice. Emily was right, Spencer was being a dramatic prick and she was just gonna give him the time to realize that he was wrong. So when she got to bed, grateful for a bit of peace knowing one of the killers had been identified and was going to be caught soon, the last thing she wanted to do was have a conversation with Emily about the topic this same one had told her to not think about.

"I didn't say to just ignore it. As a matter of fact, I didn't get one sentence out during the whole drive to the hospital."

"That can't be true."

"Oh, but it was. Now I know how Reid felt when Gideon left." She fixed her shirt and continued, "well, regardless, what happened between you and Tyler, and what exactly does Dr. Genius know?"

"Spence knows pretty much everything, it kind of came with the territory." She recounted the story and this time she didn't leave any detail out, well, almost didn't leave any detail out.

Emily learned about Anna and their rivalry, Tyler and him choosing her cousin over her, the only thing she never even brought up was her dad. Only Spencer knew about it and she wanted to keep it that way. She finally landed on the weekend in question and the words she had shared with her cousin. Though that wasn't exactly what Prentiss found worrisome.

"You and Reid kissed?! Like on the lips?!" She screamed.

"Yeah, it was just so they would stop bugging us. It's not even the first time we kissed, so why is it a big deal?"

"Wait, you've kissed him before that day?"

"Yeah, at my cousin's wedding."

"Holy shit! I was not expecting that. My OTP is getting all these moments that will eventually lead to the ship sailing and I didn't even know about them!"

"Have you started talking another language by accident or something? I don't understand anything of what you just said."

"Don't worry about it. On a scale of one to ten, how good of a kisser is he?"

"Eleven." She responded immediately, "but that has nothing to do with this whole situation."

"It definitely does! Now it makes sense, Reid thinks you still have feelings for your ex, and he's jealous. He probably doesn't even know it, and he's probably trying to understand why he is so upset with you. Oh my god, he's jealous!"

"Emily, he's not jealous. Spence and I are not dating, we pretended to be a couple." She explained, thinking the woman hadn't understood her.

"Yeah, I know that, but I also know that any fake dating movie or book has always reached a point where the two main characters become unconsciously aware of their feelings. This is it! THIS IS IT!" She shook her and laughed, then suddenly came to a stop. "Oh my god, I am the best friend. I am definitely the friend that gives some wise advice that makes it click in your brain, let me think," she looked around the room as if inspiration would pop out of the bed. "I got it: get your shit together and marry Spencer." She stood and walked out the door, before fully closing it she spoke again, "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go talk some sense into our little genius. Love you, hope I am invited to the wedding!"

Though after the break in the case they had found themselves relieved and on their way back, the nagging feeling she called Emily Prentiss kept insisting that both doctors were actually in love and that all they needed to do was kiss and become a couple. It was so constant that even when she wasn't around she could hear her echo. Like right then when she was trying to brush her hair and mentally prepare herself for whatever this dinner with Tyler was going to bring. Though she and Spencer had not yelled or continued to argue, there was nothing else left of their friendship, at least that's what it seemed like. It was as if the past months were a dream and they were just back to being coworkers, and that feeling was burning her up inside. She did not realize how important he had become in her life until he wasn't a part of it anymore.

"You look great," Tyler said as she entered the restaurant.

"Thanks, Spence helped me pick out this shirt when we went to the mall a couple of weeks ago. He said blue always looked good on me."

"That's great." The man responded, clearly uncomfortable. "So, I know you had to leave for work the other day, but I was hoping now we could talk more about what happened between us."

"Yes, of course."

She didn't really understand how she had gotten to the point of having an actual conversation with the man sitting across from her, because she had been angry at him for so long, that it never occurred to her as a possibility. He had once again apologized and given her a tale of how he had let his emotions guide him without realizing he could hurt others, and while that didn't excuse his actions, she still accepted his apology, choosing instead to move on from their current limbo. They had quickly changed the conversation, like if two old friends had reconnected after so long. Tyler was a great friend when he wanted to be, he was pleasant company, to say the least.

"And the other day, Spence was trying to learn to play the piano, and I told him there was no way he could learn in a week. So what did he do? He-"

"Stop, just stop!" He interrupted her, and she furrowed her eyebrows confused. "I have been sitting here for an hour listening to you talk about your stupid boyfriend and his IQ of 187." He rubbed his hands through his face and tried to calm down. "Was this the plan all along? You heard me tell you that I wished I hadn't ruined our relationship and decided playing with me was perfect revenge? Accepting dinner only to humiliate me by ignoring me and choosing to talk about that Spencer guy? Is he in on it or something?"

Oh. My. God.

Reid was right, this man was not looking to mend old friendships or start a new chapter, he was looking for a mistress.

"You, are the worst type of jerk I have ever met. I actually believed you wanted to be friends, to turn the page but all you wanted was to get in my pants." She stood, grabbing her drink and spilling it over him. "I hope I never see you again. Go fuck yourself Tyler." She walked, but before she exited the restaurant she returned and gave him a fake smile, "and also, Thank you for humiliating me in front of my family, you showed me how little you were and that I could do so much better. Say, an FBI agent with an IQ of 187." Once again she turned and this time she didn't even bother looking back.

The drive to her apartment was long, mostly because she didn't drive there, but to Spencer Reid's home. She felt her palms sweat, she hated admitting she was wrong, but she hated not having Spencer around much more than a bruised ego. She knocked on the door and Spencer opened, he looked confused, but as soon as he registered her in he simply raised an eyebrow and changed his confused demeanor to a completely neutral.

"I came to tell you that you were right. He just wanted to get in pants." There was no response, and she fiddled with her hands. "I actually thought he wanted to apologize, and I think part of me just wanted to believe that for the first time I was not being used, that people actually cared about what I felt."

"There are people that care about you, they are just not the wants you wanted to."

"No, they are! I thought I needed the people who wronged me to fix it, to show me that I was worth the trouble when in reality all I needed was for me to understand that I was. And I just needed a reminder that the people that care about me are the ones that should matter the most." A trace of a smile formed on his lips. "I am so sorry about how I acted, and I am sorry I left you here waiting for me. Spencer Reid, you are my best friend and you come before any other jerk out there. I need you to know that this time in which I didn't have you with me was miserable. I missed you so much I spent the whole dinner with Tyler talking about you."

"You did?" He seemed genuinely surprised.

"Yeah, I did. I missed you, and I hope we never fight again, I don't know what I would do without your friendship."

"I missed you too." She bit her lip, and he smiled. "Wanna come in and watch TV?"

"I would love that."

"That's good to hear, I am trying to get Spence here to watch Dance Moms with me but he refuses, maybe if there is two of us, he'll change his mind." A voice inside his apartment spoke. He opened the door to reveal Emily Prentiss wearing Pjs with The Hunger Games symbols on them. "May I say, you look hot. Blue suits you."

"So I've been told."

"Are you sure you can handle being in that close all night though? Maybe Spencer can lend you one of his shirts." She said, winking at them.

"Has she been drinking?"

"It's her third bottle of wine."

"We need to cut her off."

"Yeah, we do." He smiled at her, "She's right though, if you want to borrow something more comfortable let me know."

"Careful Spencer Reid, I might take you up on that."

"Awwww, YOU TWO ARE ADORABLE!" The woman screamed. "Just get married already!"

The pair laughed and made their way to the sofa, she closed the door behind her and sat down, feeling whole for the first time this week. Emily and Spencer were the best friends a girl could ask for, and she couldn't think of a better way to spend the rest of her night than watching trash TV with the two of them as they laughed and joked.

It was home.

#spencer x y/n #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds #cm

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savrenim · 3 years

Note

hi hi hi. so I just got into the Hamilton fandom, I swear I am four years late where did everybody go, and, well. I am apparently a hamburr shipper. bcs that is my life now. anyway I saw your fic ifmlam and I swear it is my favourite of all the fics I've ever read (and trust me I've read literally thousands). I love it so so much, how do you write fics like that??? I cried about four times during the whole thing, I stayed up till 4am reading it even when I had to wake up at 7 because it is just. that. good. I could not stop thinking about it for days afterwards and ifmlam has just ruined me. I can't think of listen to Hamilton without thinking of ifmlam anymore.

on to my qursttion: is it abandoned? of course it's perfectly FINE if it is. don't let anyone tell u differently, your fic is YOURS and u are amazing.

but pls I really need closure from ur fic, it has been haunting me if its abandoned or ongoing and I've read ur other fics and they are just chefskiss and thank you so much for writing them all. thank you thank you thank you, I will never be able to thank you enough for writing this fic and for everything it's done for me. I am probably thousands of miles away but I am sending you virtual jugs through a co.puter screen right now.

(don't feel pressured to reply to this or update it flam, I know how overwhelming it can get with so many messages and after a while u get desensitized to it. u can literally reply "thx. itfmlam is abandoned" and I would still be amazingly star struck. anyway has gotten way too long and I need to sleep and I'm sorry u probably won't see this so I'm just talking to myself right now but bye!!)

and thank you so so much for writing itfmlam.

aaaah hello anon!

thank you so so much???? I am so??? honored??? that ifmlam rates so highly to you, and also that you've read my other fics??????

the answer to the "is ifmlam abandoned" question is probably the worst possible one, which is pretty much "I do want to finish it, both for the folks that still want closure as well as it bothers to me have abandoned projects that are in the public eye/ already partially published, but also, it is last on my current writing projects list"

my current actually active writing projects list, kind of in order of priority, is

I'm literally three chapters away from being Actually Fully Done with the not-quite-first-not-quite-second let's call it 1.5th draft of an actual?? full?? original?? novel?? Opus which of course then goes out to beta readers and then gets who-knows-how-much edited and then maybe beta readers again if a lot does change and then a copyeditor my mom, my copyeditor is my mom, and maybe my little brother he's one of the betas but is very good at catching typos and then I!!! get to publish it!!!! which is the single thing I am most excited for!!!!!!!!! this should be closed up in the next week or two, and then take a while for people to actually read the draft and get back to me.

I really desperately want to finish my open-but-like-90%-written fic, which means we raise it up, the final chapter of to the bottom of the river bc I realized that it was kind of incomplete, and the second chapter of a buried and a burning flame because any more work there will need to wait until the author publishes the next book in the series. this should be closed up in the next month or two.

Speedwrite the draft of the second book of the Opus series so that hopefully by the time book 1 edits are happening, I have an almost complete draft of the second book. this is mostly me side-eyeing myself about taking nearly four years to write the first book, but that is solidly in part because I had so many other open projects which point 2 is about clearing that docket. this should be done in the next year.

And then just have my major projects be, at least until books 1-5 are written and published, books 1-5 of that because that is arguably the first major 'plot arc' of the series, so if I'm looking for a pause point on writing, that's probably where to stop.

There are two or three other short side projects (a weird fun second person short story tentatively titled witch-queen, a collection of four short stories Memoirs about a not-so-evil necromancer and the shenanigans he gets up to trying to rule a kingdom, working title Perfectly Normal Recipe Blog which is a collaborative project about a perfectly normal recipe blog that definitely doesn't include anything out of the normal) that will happen when they happen

There are other projects that are on the backburner -- The Numanok Files, a series of probably 12-15 short novellas about a mercenary/ bounty hunter esque person in space whose specialty is dealing with hauntings, but, like, 80% of their jobs is actually "you are effectively a space home inspector pointing out faulty wiring reacting to solar flares/ there's a weird alien fungus/ it's carbon monoxide okay change your atmosphere filters" and 20% of it is punching ghosts; there's a post-post apocalypse novel that I want to write that I know characters and general pacing and half the setting but need to work out the other half and figure out how much aesthetic I want to commit to; there's Strangeside7 aka spacerace book that is my reaction to how much I love how Redline the anime movie commits itself to "no we are about a race, like 60% of the screentime is just fully going to be an utterly ridiculous sci fi space race"; there's even a ridiculous YA trilogy that I would have to completely transplant the setting but might end up writing because the interplay between angel-physics and physics-physics was one of my favorite things in the world. and I guess the weird ridiculous technically a sequel series to ifmlam that was going to be published as original books that was basically me having fun with 'okay I fucking love star wars prequels old rotting space bureaucracy galactic republic style' except with seers and that also still might happen because it does have some of the coolest sci fi concepts and honestly I thiiiink that's all?

but the tl;dr of that timeline is I'm trying to finish a punch of projects Right Now, so that I can write books 2-5 of Opus, and then when I'm done that (which honestly, my average fiction-writing output is close to 100k a year. if I'm concentrating purely on one project, and writing books that are about 100k, we are talking four years. although my job situation is super up in the air in that period and writing might get put solidly on the backburner as I try to make it in academia, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) I will re-evaluate which projects go next, and that's when ifmlam is likely to come up for review.

I do not have any expectations that I will make it as an original author. I'm planning on posting all of my stuff online for free, but, like. it is incredibly difficult to convince people to try out even a piece of free and easily accessibly original work even if one has a huge following, I am a very small fanfiction author, and from what I can tell the majority of the people who are interested in my work are mostly interested in me finishing ifmlam. writing is a hobby for me, and while I'm writing mostly for me--and hence the for me bit at least for the next five years is pretty solidly going to be this series that I am deeply excited about and have sunk my heart and soul into every single aspect of--I'm human, and I don't really like shouting into the void, and I expect if I spend five years publishing to absolutely no response I will either stop writing for a while and do other things gods know my life is busy enough, return to fandom in general to write some other fanfic about whatever I get deeply into, or return to a work that I actually get response to. so ifmlam will probably start getting worked on a bit at that point one way or another. unless, of course, we are in the incredibly rare timeline in which I do make it as an original author, there are people who are deeply hyped for my original works and an actual demand for them, in which case as you may have noticed there are enough ideas there to keep me busy for a decade or two, and they will just get my full attention instead of fanfiction*. in this timeline, I will do what I was considering doing a few years ago, which is officially declare ifmlam otherwise abandoned and make one more giant chapter update which is a full and cleaned up outline of what I was going to write, interspersed with the scenes already written, and have ifmlam be given at least that closure.

*I want to make it clear that I very much love fanfiction and am proud to have been a fanfiction author and in my heart of hearts would keep writing it forever, I just also have a lot of ideas for characters and settings and magic systems and Aesthetics and I have been biting at the bit to write something that is //mine// and all mine and only mine for a while, I don't see original work as superior so much as there are a dozen fandoms that I am currently in and bursting to make content about except oops these fandoms currently only exist in my head, and I want to correct that

of course given how much as writing is my vent activity and I write what I'm in the mood for, there's a chance I'll feel ifmlam cravings before then, just... expect it to take a couple of years for an update, but also for there to be an update one way of another in a couple of years? but as for right now, I'm turning to original writing, because that is what brings me joy.

but I am really deeply honored that it brought you so much joy!!! and while I will never publish spoilers in a public place, if you message me off anon I am perfectly happy to give a run-down of my current plans for the ending, bc I know "wait a couple years and see" is not the most satisfactory of answers! and hey maybe you'll be like me and once you've given Opus a try you'll decide you like it better too, it does have Seers although they are deeply different Seers than in ifmlam but imo it's very gay and fun and at least politics on one side

#my life #my writing #ifmlam

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snarkwrites · 3 years

Text

12 | gangsta; sweetpea

NOTES:

It's been a while. I've had these two chapters written for a while now but I haven't had time to sit down, edit them a little better and post them. Since I have time now, I thought I'd go ahead and do that, whether you guys asked for these next two chapters or not.

Sorry this took forever! Sorry I'm so slow, I've been settling into a new house and taking care of some IRL stuff / taking a little break. I swear, I'm going to update everything sooner or later. >.>

I love you guys.

WARNINGS:

NON/ LOOSE CANON COMPLIANCE - this is the biggest warning, so if you’re into things that follow exact canon plot you are… definitely not going to like this. ANGST & SLOW BURN, HEAVY SEXUAL TENSIONSTARTING NOW, ACTUALLY - this is just so everyone who started reading this thinking the smut would transpire in a hurry knows that apparently, it is not. VIOLENCE / SWEARING & FIGHTING, POSSIBLE UNDERAGE DRINKING AND OTHER SHENANIGANS- look.. it’s high school. shit happens. also apparently, my ofc Alyssa uses the word fuck like all the time?…EVENTUAL SEXUAL CONTENT / A VIRGIN ORIGINAL CHARACTER- this one is self explanatory. yes, i plan to write a smutty chapter in this at some point. when? i don’t rightly know. it’s got a while before we get there. STALKER TW - this chapter marks the true appearance of Alyssa's ex, Dave Novak. It's hinted heavily that he's a gross asshole who likes to play mind games.

If you're under 18+, probably not a good or wise idea to continue reading this series. Because there are going to be a few dark and adult themes within. I'll warn here, of course, but you need to understand that I don't control you. If you continue to read after having read the warnings and you're upset or don't like something... Totally on you, friend.

PAIRING:

Andrews!Sibling OFC x Sweet Pea.

TAGGING:

@brithedemonspawn is the only person on my Riverdale tag list. If you want to be added, the link to do so is below.

OTHER PARTS:

ONE - TWO - THREE - FOUR - FIVE - SIX - SEVEN - EIGHT - NINE - TEN- ELEVEN - soundtrack

OTHER STUFF:

[ about my writing - tag list doc ]

T W E L V E.

[773 - 589 - 7956] attachment

[773 - 589 - 7956] I think I decided how you can repay me, scarlet…

[773 - 589 - 7956] Better enjoy your quiet and happy little life while you still have it, scarlet. Because soon it’s all going to be ripped right out of your pretty little hands.

[773 - 589 - 7956] That boyfriend of yours isn’t even gonna be able to save you this time, scarlet. You’re mine.

[773 - 589 - 7956] See you soon, scarlet.

Each new text that came in had me tensing up. Careful to keep my phone out of sight of anyone who was nearby. My heart was about to beat right out of my chest and my stomach felt like it sank to the floor. I was barely listening to anything being said around me and I guess it was more obvious than I thought because Toni cleared her throat, nodding to the phone in my hand.

Gazing at me in concern.

“Everything okay? You look like you’re going to be sick.”

“Yeah,yeah. Everything is fine.” I lied. I think at that particular point in time, I was just trying to convince myself that this was all some kind of bad dream. Or worst case scenario, Dave was making empty threats.

Toni eyed me suspiciously. I tried to give her a convincing smile, but I’d have had to be an idiot to even think for a second that she believed me. She eyed my phone and reached for it. I managed to shove it in my pocket.

“Trust me.” I pleaded. She gave me a wary look and sighed, grumbling “Fine, okay. Alright.” under her breath.

And I did my best to push the texts out of my head. Jumping in the conversation she had going on with Cheryl and Veronica. Laughing and talking as if nothing were wrong.

Lying through the skin of my teeth.

XXX

“What’s got you so jumpy?”

The question caught me off guard. I wanted to tell someone what was going on, I really did, but… I didn’t want to worry anyone, either. I was at least 99.9 percent sure that there was absolutely no way that Dave would show up in Riverdale, at least that’s what I was hoping.

I did my best to play it off. Shoveling french fries into my mouth just so I didn’t have to answer right away. My cell phone lit up and I flinched before I could stop myself.

Toni reached for it and I quickly grabbed it and shoved it in my pocket. She gave me a concerned look and I muttered quietly, “Probably just Reggie...again.”

“Reggie’s with that new girl though?” Cheryl spoke up. Gazing at me thoughtfully. My breath caught in my throat because if anyone would catch on to there being something truly wrong with me or something off in the way I was acting, it’d be her or Polly.

So far, I’d managed to fool everyone else into thinking I was alright, even my dad and my brother.

,, Dave won’t come here, it’s not worth the hassle. He’s just playing mind games. That’s all this is. Pull yourself together.” the thought came and I managed a smile, shrugging.

“You’ve been acting weird all week, now that I’m thinking about it.” Cheryl was the one who said it and she gave me an expectant look. Waiting.

“I have not.”

,, I do have one secret I can spill. Maybe if I tell them about my crush on Sweetpea…” and so that’s what I did. Sighing as I reached for the shared plate of fries between the three of us. Raking my fries through my vanilla milkshake and taking a few deep breaths to kind of collect myself, both from Dave’s harassing texts and what I was finally about to get off my chest about having feelings for Sweetpea.

“You have. Start talking.” Toni spoke up, watching me. Sizing me up. If I had to guess, I’d pin money on her sitting across the booth, trying to figure out what was up with my jumpy attitude all week.

“Okay, alright. Fine. But what I’m about to tell you two does not leave this table, okay? It.. It can’t. If Sweetpea ever found out, pretty sure he’d start avoiding me and things would get weird.”

Toni and Cheryl exchanged a look and then Toni nodded. Chewing a mouthful of fries as she muttered calmly, “Go on.”

“ I may or may not have a crush on Sweetpea.”

“Oh, you definitely have a crush on him. It’s kind of obvious.” Cheryl gave a soft teasing grin and I sighed. Dragging my hand through my hair and taking a few seconds to let her words sink in. I almost dreaded asking, but I felt like I had to given that she said it was obvious. “Oh god.. He doesn’t suspect anything.. Right?”

“Oh, he’s the only one whose oblivious. But the rest of us, we’ve known a while.” Toni teased me. Then asked calmly, “Is that all? Why’s that have you so jumpy?”

“Because I know how bad I am at hiding things, okay? I was kind of… I dunno, freaking out I guess.” I eyed her, waiting. Searching her face in the hopes that she accepted what I said and didn’t keep pushing. A few seconds passed and she laughed softly. Took a sip of her strawberry milkshake and asked with a smirk, “Are you gonna do anything about it?”

“Probably not. Every time I even think about it, I manage to talk myself right out of it. He’d laugh his ass off, okay? Besides, remember all the flirting he was doing with Josie when they had to work together during the play?” I pouted as I pointed it out.

Cheryl and Toni exchanged looks and Toni laughed. “He was doing that to make you jealous. Or that’s what I think he was doing. Either way… I think you should do something. He’s not going to and trust me… I’ve known the guy my whole life. I know him well enough to say that I know he has a thing for you. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have been so cranky when you two first met?”

“I thought he was just naturally grumpy?”

“Oh, he is, but the way he was towards you was totally different. He’s only that grumpy when he’s trying to keep his defenses up.” Toni informed me before finishing off her shake.

The door to the diner opened and Sweetpea walked in, Fangs in tow. The two of them were laughing about something. I gave both Cheryl and Toni a pleading look and Cheryl seemed to pick up on my unspoken plea to change the subject thankfully, because she asked, “Are you going to F.P’s retirement party at the Wyrm?”

“Yeah.” I answered, finishing off my milkshake. Sweetpea flopped into the booth beside me, carelessly slinging an arm over the back of the seat. His hand brushed against my shoulder and I swear just the small brush against me felt like someone had taken a livewire and dragged it over my body real slow.

Toni smirked at me, nodding at Sweetpea while he was too busy wolfing down french fries to notice and I shook my head.

“I dare you. No… I triple dare you.. Flirt with him.” Toni gave a teasing grin as she mouthed the words to me and I swallowed hard.

She’s not playing fair. She knows I can’t turn down a dare.

I happened to glance out the window of the diner and when I thought I saw Dave standing there, leaning against a streetlamp, one hand in his pocket and a cigarette dangling between his lips, I nearly choked. This prompted Sweetpea to start hitting me on the back lightly as he laughed and looked at me in concern. “Damn cherry, are you trying to kill yourself?”

Toni’s brow raised and Sweetpea explained what happened earlier in the day, how I’d nicked myself with the scalpel in our first period class while doing a dissection. What Sweetpea didn’t know was that when it happened, it was because I thought I’d seen Dave standing outside in the parking lot, only to blink and the parking lot be empty.

I have got to stop letting his stupid mind games get to me. It’s just because he’s texting me again. It’s just because he knows how to work me up and get me all scared, he used to be good at it when we dated.

He’d never come to Riverdale. He’s just doing this to me for his own sick amusement and every single time I let him get to me, especially when I’m to a point where I’m so paranoid I’m imagining that I see him everywhere lately, it’s letting him win and that pisses me off more than anything.

I’m supposed to be stronger than that, damn it.

Toni eyed me suspiciously and I braced myself. When she didn’t bring up my skittish behavior, I relaxed a little.

I wanted to tell someone what was going on, but at the same time, why? I’m pretty sure this is just Dave, being an absolute bag of dicks.

It has to be that. It has to be.

XXX

He stood outside some podunk little diner right in the heart of town. The hazy red neon gave off a comforting and inviting warmth and he lit his cigarette, fuming in anger as he watched her sitting inside.

“I know you’re not ignoring me, scarlet. I know you’re not.” he muttered, mostly to himself as he turned the collar of his leather jacket up against the wind and started to walk towards the South Side.

Maybe it was time he paid his old buddy Eric a visit. Eric was out of prison. Eric was the one who’d told him where Alyssa was to begin with, though he didn’t realize it.

Dave chuckled and shook his head as he walked towards the shitty apartments on the opposite end of town where Eric lived. Eric owed him a few favors. He was coming to collect.

“Did you really think I was jokin when I told ya I have friends all over? That you weren’t ever gonna get away from me?” he mused to himself as he knocked on the door of a first floor slum apartment.

Eric opened the door, leaning in it lazily. Blinking at him in a daze and smirking. High fiving him as he asked him why he was in town.

Dave whipped out his phone, showing Eric a picture of Alyssa. At first he gave him some story about her running off while he was in the pen. Eric wasn’t buying it, he could see it written in the expression on his face. And that only made him angry. Eric owed him. He was here to collect the favor owed. All he wanted was for Eric to help him out on this one little thing.

Eric shook his head, chuckling in disgust. Gazing at him with a brow raised. “I think you need to leave, man. Now. You don’t want the heat this is gonna bring down on you. And I’m not about to get on a Serpent’s bad side, even if the Serpent in question is just a damn kid.”

“See, I’d like to just put this all behind me, man... but she’s the whole reason I even went to prison to begin with. Then I get out and find out not only is my girl not loyal, she’s also the one who snitched on me?” Dave eyed Eric. Getting irritated because this was not how he saw the conversation going.

“I’m telling you, you need to leave. Forget about Alyssa. I see her around all the time with some kid… Sweet Pea or Green Bean, some shit. The Serpents are not people you fuck with, man. Not around these parts.”

“You know the Serpents aren’t shit to me… Right?” Dave quipped, smirking. “I’ve got this under control. I just need you to help me out a little… C’mon, man. You owe me.”

“I don’t fucking care. I’m not helping you do whatever it is you’re here to do. What I oughta do is put a bullet in your fucking head for even thinking I’d be down for this shit. She’s a kid, man. A fucking kid... Favor or not, man… I’m on the Serpents side with this. Not yours. You need to leave.” Eric warned, giving Dave a firm glare as he folded heavily tattooed arms over his chest.

“Oh, so that’s how you’re playin, huh? Okay. Alright. All I wanna do is see her again. I’m not going to do anything. I just want to straighten things out. Get a little closure on the situation...”

Eric scoffed. “This coming from the king of overreaction. I don’t trust you.I’m breakin code of my gang by even talking to your ass. Nope. The answer is no. I’m not helping. Do whatever you have to do to me, but I’m not about to help you scare some kid. I’ve got better things to do with my time, buddy...”

Dave’s arm shot out and he pinned Eric against the door of his apartment. Smirking at him calmly. “I know you haven’t forgotten just how much your sorry ass owes me. Because that’s what this sounds like.”

“I guess that’s what it is then. Because I’ve seen what the Serpents can do. I’m not about to bring all that down on my head.” Eric stepped back inside his apartment, slamming the door in Dave’s face, leaving him to glare at the closed door and take a swing.

“Guess I’m doing this all by myself.” Dave mused as he turned and wandered down to a shitty dive bar nearby. He needed to have a few rounds. Come up with a plan.

And a little after midnight, after finding himself a few new talkative friends in some local Ghoulies, things were starting to look up for him. And he was slowly forming a plan.

Now he just had to wait. Pick his moment. Toy with her a little more.

“I’m so close I can almost touch you, scarlet. Soon… Soon you’re going to pay for running your mouth to mommy about me...” he smirked to himself as he unlocked his hotel room and stepped inside.

#sweetpea fanfiction #sweetpea fanfic #sweetpea fic #sweetpea imagine #sweetpea imagines #my writing ; sweetpea #my fanfiction; sweetpea #my fics; sweetpea #// stalker tw #// seriously. these next two parts are gonna get a little... scary.#// you have been warned

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cela-astral-projection · 4 years

Text

Don't say a word, just come over and lie here with me. 'Cause I'm just about to set fire to everything I see. I want you so bad I'll go back on the things I believe. There I just said it, I'm scared you'll forget about me.

So young and full of running, all the way to the edge of desire Steady my breathing, silently screaming, "I have to have you now"

18+; Cut for length and content.

Celeste sat in Julian's nearly finished office at the makeshift desk, a board bridging two sawhorses, making a list for their contractor.

She was in a bit of a time crunch. They were leaving tomorrow. Of course, her bags had been packed for days. It was more the prospect of actually going that made her feel harried.

She had been milling around the shop for days, making sure that everything was ready for Asra. And, when she wasn't fussing there, she was worried about the clinic's progress. But it was all nerves.

The past few years had been a test, to put it mildly.

Now that all the fires were put out, she didn't quite know what to do with herself.

Going away with Julian seemed like as good a plan as any. To get out of her head. To get some perspective. There were no more Devils left to fight. No more ghosts were lurking in the dark night. She was as free as she would ever be again.

She had only left Vesuvia a few times. To Nopal, with Asra. To the south, with Muriel. One, painfully short. The other, agonizingly long. The prospect of leaving a was daunting. But the way Julian framed it, even knowing that he had a particular way with words, seemed appealing.

Her note finished, she looked around the room. Light streamed through the window. Fine dust covered every surface. But, even in an unfinished state, there was so much potential here. A place of healing. Where she could get back to who she was meant to be.

Julian stepped into the door frame, leaning against it, grinning broadly. He had been positively giddy for days. She knew that if he could have left days ago, he would have done.

"Are you almost ready, Lovely? Goodbye dinner with Nadia in about an hour. You're going to want to change..."

Celeste gave him a quizzical look, eyebrow raised. "Goodbye...oh. Oh!" she exclaimed, remembering. "Oh, Julian. I'm sorry. I completely forgot. I have some loose ends I need to tie up before tomorrow morning. Give them my regards."

The wind appeared to go out of his sails a bit, tilting his head. "Are you sure, Lovely? Nadia will be disappointed. Portia, too."

She sighed, nodding, sorry to have let him down. "I...Yes, I'm sorry. I promised Asra and Muriel..."

"We can be late if you like. Nadia may even appreciate a spot of fashionable tardiness." Julian pressed. "I can come with you, and then we can go together."

"No, this is something I need to do alone. You go. I will see Nadia when we set off tomorrow." She stood, dusting herself off. She crossed the room to him. Julian straightened. Celeste slipped her arms around his waist, inclining her head to him. He straightened and gathered her in, long arms draped over her shoulders. "Nervous, Doc?"

He shook his head. "I have been waiting years for this, Lovely. I'm beyond ready."

Celeste smiled up at him. "Me too," she replied. "Ready for our next adventure." And she hoped she sounded sincere. Though, in his reverie, she doubted he would catch her apprehension.

She went up on her tiptoes, and Julian bent to kiss her. It was soft and sweet. She could feel his mouth fixed in a perpetual smile—the happiest she had seen him in their entire relationship. For all her apprehension, this was worth it. Seeing him so delighted.

When their lips parted, his forehead rested against hers, his grey eye heavy-lidded. "Thank you for coming with me. There's no one else I'd rather go with."

Celeste felt her cheeks go rosy. She could never resist this look. It melted her. "I love you, Julian," she whispered.

"I love you, Celeste.." he murmured in reply, voice going husky.

She sighed, sobering at his tone. "Let's wait for your desk to get here before we christen the office? I don't much relish the idea of splinters in my backside before we get on the boat."

Julian laughed, still heady. "Whatever you say, love. I have other ideas for your backside, anyway."

----

Celeste stood in front of the mirror, desperately trying to get her hair to behave. Any other day, she would have been happy to throw it up in a bun and go. But, tonight was different. She wanted to look memorable.

Just now, she knew she'd make an impression. Though, it would likely be more of a nightmare than a daydream. She had fussed the waves into frizz.

She tapped her nails impatiently on the counter, tongue pressed into her cheek. She closed her eyes for a moment and drew a deep breath.

Every moment that ticked by added to her nerves. Her trepidation. She had fought to keep herself placid. Convince her self that she was ready. Keep a brave face.

She did want to try. To see something new. Be something...else. See what she could be outside of this city.

She had fought against herself for weeks. Her anxiety was getting the better of her on more occasions than she cared to count. Despite Asra's encouragement. Despite Julian's joy. She couldn't shake the dread.

She opened her eyes and stared at her reflection. "Nine years, Celeste. You can do a few months away. You can. No Lucio. No Morga. No demons. No devils. You can do this." she scolded herself. "Pull it together." she spat, steeling herself.

She was shaken from her pep-talk by a heavy knock coming from downstairs.

"The hell?" she said, confused and irritated. The shop had closed early. The sign was clearly posted. Asra had gone to the hut, and Celeste had planned on meeting him and Muriel there. To say their private goodbyes.

She shook her head and moved her hands back to her hair, deciding to ignore the knock. But, another hard rap came. She called out a warning, hoping that her voice would carry.

She had quiet for a moment, but then another loud bang came. She groaned and tied her dressing gown, harried. She turned and moved quickly from the bathroom, down the stairs, swearing viciously.

She rounded the front counter, yelling. "Hey, motherfucker! We're closed! Read the goddamn sign!"

But, the knocking persisted. So, in her thin white slip of a dressing gown, she cast down the protective wards and flicked the bolt open, throwing the door open in one fell swoop, still swearing. "Listen, you feeble-minded son of a...Oh."

Muriel stood in the doorframe, looking amused. "Yeah, you're closed. Loud and clear."

Celeste blinked up at him. He was...dressed. Muriel was dressed. And well-dressed, to boot. It was no masquerade outfit (a look she had taken no real pleasure in if she was honest. Much too frilly and fussy. Not at all her Muriel.), but it was clean, and it fit him well. A buttoned-down white shirt. Black pants. Boots. Hair braided back. He was impossibly handsome. But that was just Muriel. Impossible.

Celeste was shocked. And Muriel's blush was growing with each moment she spent staring at him.

"I...Asra, he...helped." he stammered, unable to meet her gaze any longer.

Celeste nodded, still stunned. "...he did a hell of a job."

"Can I..." he jerked his chin, begging for entry.

"Oh, yes! I'm sorry!" Celeste stepped aside, shaking her head to break the spell. "I just...I'm astonished. This is a surprise."

Muriel ducked his head in the entryway as he stepped in. It was then that Celeste noticed the bouquet in the crook of his arm. Wildflowers. She pressed a hand to her chest, her mouth falling open anew. "Muriel...did you bring me flowers?"

He grunted his confirmation, extending the bouquet to her. They were wrapped in odd, blue paper. She took the bundle from him, bringing a finger to stroke the delicate petals of a coneflower.

"Thank you, sweetheart. They're gorgeous."

"They're flowers. You're gorgeous." Muriel replied. Though, her hair did appear as if she'd had a struggle with a raccoon. A smile pulled at the corner of his mouth. She barefoot, wearing just a white silk dressing gown. Hastily tied and barely covering anything of substance.

Celeste blushed at the compliment, her eyes falling back on Muriel. "Flatterer."

She stepped to him, and he stooped, bowing to kiss her. His fingers under her chin, drawing her up. For a moment, all her dread fell away. Rough fingers, the scent of myrrh, slightly chapped lips. Home. Muriel felt like home. Peace and safety and love.

When they broke away, her eyes fluttered open. He was smiling down at her. A full, genuine smile. It was disarming. More superb than any flower this world could conceive.

She drew a breath, trying to sober herself. "So, are you here to escort me to the forest? Is Asra joining us here?"

He shook his head. "No, I thought I would...try something else. Just us."

"Oh? What...did you have in mind?" she said, eyebrow raised.

"...Just go get dressed," he said, not wanting to reveal too much.

Was Muriel acting playful? Coy? Was Muriel...flirting? She lifted her hand to his forehead, pressing her palm against the skin. He pulled back a bit, confused.

"Just checking for a fever." she teased. "You don't feel sick. But you are behaving...oddly."

Muriel snorted. "Go, get dressed, please."

Celeste raised her hand, relenting. "Okay, I'm going. Let me put these in water..."

He reached out and took the flowers back, almost looking panicked. "I'll take care of that. Please, go get dressed."

'Ah, yes. There he is.' Celeste thought, laughing to herself, shaking her head.

---

Celeste had wrestled her hair into compliance and dressed. A simple black dress buttoned up the front with wide lapels and a flared skirt. She was shuffling through her jewelry box while Muriel watched, reclined on the bed.

She found a pair of simple seed pearl earrings and held them in her palm, appraising them. Good enough. She slipped them into place, then went back to the jewelry box, trying to find the matching necklace.

She heard Muriel shift behind her as she shuffled through the box.

"Try this."

Celeste gave a "Hm?" as she turned to face him.

A small, wooden box in his hand.

She immediately felt her knees go weak, and she stumbled back, bracing herself on the dresser, her eyes wide. Heart thudding in her ears. "Muriel?!"

Muriel, for his part, looked genuinely bewildered. "Wha--are you okay?"

"Is that...are you...are you pro--" she stammered, eyes locked on the box in his hand, torn between panic and elation.

"Pr--Oh. Oh!" he barked, his panicked expression matching hers when he realized what she thought was happening. "No! I'm not...I mean..." He opened the box, presenting it to her.

It was an herb locket. It was meant for holding charms. Golden. Swirling metal tendrils in an orb shape, held with a tiny clasp. She could see the tiny chips of myrrh held inside. It was elegant. So much more sophisticated than the bundles she carried, even now that the curse was broken. Celeste straightened, catching her breath, reaching her hand out to touch it.

"Oh, darling," she whispered. "It's lovely. Thank you."

"You're not disappointed that it's not a ring?" he asked, watching her expression.

"That feels like a trick question, and I decline to answer." She said, meeting his eyes. "I love this. It's perfect."

Muriel nodded. He couldn't disagree with her assessment. It was, in fact, a loaded question. And, he was lying to himself if he said he hadn't considered it.

"Will you put it on for me?" she asked, turning around, lifting her hair from the nape of her neck.

He lifted the necklace from the box, reaching past her to lay the container on the dresser. He brought the delicate chain around her throat. He fumbled with the tiny clasp. Big fingers not quite adept with such diminutive closures. But, he fastened it.

Celeste ran her fingers over the charm and turned to look up at him.

Her eyes were soft. They were reflecting devotion and love.

"It suits you," Muriel stated plainly, bringing his hand up to cup her cheek, running his thumb along the soft flesh.

"All these gifts. I feel...utterly bereft. I feel like I should give something to you."

He shook his head. "Stay with me. That's all the gift I need."

Celeste was satisfied with her self that she didn't flinch at his answer. Though, it stung badly.

"I'm always with you, Muriel. Always." She responded voice sweet, and placid.

Muriel knew her well enough to know when she wasn't engaging. That was alright. He had all night to drive the point home.

"Are you ready?" He asked, breaking the tension.

Celeste nodded. "Lead the way."

----

Celeste knew precisely where they were. She had made this journey many times. Never with Muriel. It made no sense to her.

Her arm was linked with Muriel's. She could feel the tension radiating off of him. He was better in public, but he wasn't exactly great. Curse or no curse, he would, by and large, prefer to go unseen. He was staring straight ahead and ignoring the onlookers' stares.

"Em...Sweetheart? Angel? Light of my life?" Celeste said, growing more concerned as they forged forward. "Why exactly are we going to the South End?"

"Going on a date." He replied. Succinct.

"In the South End?"

He nodded, eyes still fixed on the road ahead.

"Muriel, darling? Are we going to The Raven?" she ventured.

He grunted his confirmation, and Celeste's eyes went wide, turning her attention back to the road ahead, blinking slowly.

Celeste wasn't sure what to say. She wanted to ask him if he had lost his goddamn mind. But, when it came to Muriel and trying new things, she was always cautious about redirecting him. It was important to her that he did try something.

But this seemed like a lot. Especially when she had fully anticipated spending the night in bed.

She had spent her fair share of evenings in the Rowdy Fucking Raven. Things were rarely, if ever, calm. Hence the name. She could pray for a quiet evening. But, she could easily see this becoming a nightmare for Muriel.

When they finally came to the tavern, Muriel paused outside the door—steeling himself.

"Muriel," Celeste said, bringing her free hand up to his bicep, giving a gentle squeeze. "Vesuvia is a big city. There are a lot of places that aren't The Rowdy Raven. We can even just...walk around. Go back to the shop. Go to the hut..."

"No. I can do this. You come here, don't you?" he asked, but his tone was a bit shaky.

"Yes, and I've ended up having to patch up more idiots after barfights than I care to recall. It's what pays for most of my drinks. I'm practically on the payroll." She replied.

"If you can do this, so can I," he said, seemingly finding his resolve and moving to the door.

Celeste shook her head and followed behind, bracing herself for impact.

It was, thankfully, still relatively calm. There was a band playing. Not a particularly good one, but serviceable. Quite a few patrons, but nobody actively bleeding that she could see. Blessing enough.

Barth looked up from drawing a drink, and his eyes fell on Muriel. The liquid flowing into the tankard continued to rise, spilling over the rim of the container. Utterly shocked at the man who had entered. Several other heads turned as well, eyes going wide. One of the musician's timing went wildly off as he was distracted by the newcomer.

Celeste waved and called out the barkeeps' name, trying to break his reverie. "Barth! Any way we can get a corner booth?"

The man blinked and shook his head, swearing at the spilled ale and righting the tap. "Oh! Cela, love! You've got the run of the place! Your usual?"

She nodded. "Dark and stormy. And Mead for him?"

"You got it, Angelface."

She pulled Muriel along after her to the back corner. She found the booth occupied by a regular. Quite drunk. Quite asleep. "Randall?" she said, sweet, tapping the man on the leg. "Gotta get up for me, darling. Barth has something for you up at the bar."

The man stirred. He was groaning loudly in protest.

"Randy," she said, a bit more authoritative. "Move your ass."

The man made another heinous groan but lurched up. He was blearily shifting out of the booth, muttering something under his breath. Celeste shook her head.

"Tell Barth to get you a black coffee. On me." She said, patting the man on the back as he stumbled away, waving her off.

Muriel watched her, shocked to see how easily she navigated the chaos.

She slid into one side of the booth, and Muriel took the opposite side, looking her over.

"Oh, you thought I was joking about being on the payroll, didn't you?" she said, lifting an eyebrow, teasing.

He nodded, not quite sure what to make of it. He had seen the woman drink. After one glass, her cheeks and nose went red. Usually, after her second glass of wine, she required someone to hold her hand so she could walk. Not precisely standard barroom fare.

Barth personally delivered their drinks, smiling broadly. "So, Angelface. Tomorrow is the big day, isn't it? Come for some liquid courage?"

"It is. You coming down to the docks to see your best customer off?" She smiled back.

"You or Doc? He's the best, but you're my favorite." The man winked. "Will he be joining us this evening?"

Celeste pulled a face. "Doubtful, unless he comes down for last call. But, I have a feeling he's getting the top-shelf stuff tonight—dinner with the Countess."

Barth nodded, looking impressed. "Well, I don't know if I can get away. But I'm glad to see you tonight. And, the Big One, too." He said, turning to Muriel, who had been watching the exchange, rapt. Barth extended his hand. "Good to meet you..."

Muriel lifted his hand to shake Barth's but did not respond. Barth's eyes fell back on Celeste.

"This is my Muriel," she answered for him.

"It's good to put a name to the legend, Muriel. Welcome to the Raven." Barth finished, clapping his other hand over the top of their joined hands, giving an affectionate pat. "Well, I'll let you get back to it. Whistle if you need me." He finished, releasing Muriel. He moved to the other side of the booth and leaned in, kissing Celeste's cheek. "Take care of yourself, Love. Gonna miss you something fierce."

Celeste turned to kiss Barth's other cheek, reaching down to squeeze his hand. "Keep the place standing. I'll be back soon."

When Barth had departed, Celeste extended her hand across the table to Muriel. He took her hand, stroking his thumb across her knuckles.

"So, do you want to tell me why we're here?" She asked, searching his face.

"Because I want to go on a date with the woman I love."

Celeste made a noise of understanding. "So how long did you and Asra sit around prepare this for me?"

Muriel's brow furrowed. He knew it wasn't precisely opaque, but he had hoped she'd be somewhat more receptive to the attempts.

"Don't blame Asra. I...wanted you to see me..." he trailed off, trying to find the words. "See me try. Do the things that you do with--"

"Julian." she finished for him, eyebrow raised.

He nodded. She sighed.

As the pieces started clicking into place, she picked up her drink and took a long sip, eyes closed.

The past few weeks had been a strain, to put it mildly. Muriel had taken the initial announcement badly. He had been tolerant of her relationship with Julian. But leaving Vesuvia, together, for months was more than Muriel was prepared to deal with. So, he hadn't. He had all but refused to speak about it.

Muriel made more trips to the city to see her. When she stayed at the hut, he kept her as long as he possibly could—holding her tighter—fucking her longer and harder. Silent but desperate pleas.

He had lost her twice. Death. And that should have been the end of it. But, she had come back to him. Only to be ripped away by his curse all over again. He finally had her. He wanted to respect that she was learning to navigate the world with the new knowledge of her own past. But, he also wanted her. And he had her. And he did not want to let her go.

Asra was part of the deal. That was how it was meant to be. Julian was not. And now he was stealing her away.

"Muriel, I am coming home. This isn't forever."

It was his turn to drink. He didn't drop her gaze as he imbibed.

When he was sated, he sat the tankard down and took a sharp breath.

"That's something else I wanted to discuss with you...Home. Whose home are you coming back to?"

Celeste narrowed her eyes, trying to parse what he was asking.

"I'm coming home to Vesuvia," she unsure of how to answer.

"Are you coming home to the shop? Home to Julian's apartment? Or home...to me?"

"I always come home to you, Muriel. I also live at the shop, and I stay with Julian," she said, shaking her head. "What are you asking?"

"I want to give you a home. Our home. I want you home with me. I am asking you to stay with me."

Celeste had emotional whiplash already. First, from what she thought was a proposal. And now, this, which also felt like a proposition.

"So, you're asking me to move into the hut permanently?"

"Not exactly."

Celeste pressed her tongue into her cheek, baffled, her irritation growing.

"Why today, Muriel?"

"Last-ditch effort," he responded, more quickly than either of them anticipated.

Celeste released his hand and crossed her arms across her chest.

"Elaborate, please," she said tersely.

"I don't feel like I need to. I want you to stay with me. I want to have a home with you. It seems simple."

"When I'm with you, I'm home."

Muriel drew a deep breath. "I want more than that. I want you to choose to stay with me. I want to build a life with you. I want to give you a home. I love you. I want you to stay."

Celeste softened, deflating a bit from her incredulity. "I want to stay. I do. But... I need to do this. It's a few days in the grand scheme of things. I will come home to you."

Muriel closed his eyes, considering his words. "What...do you need to do that I can't be with you for? Why do you have to leave me?"

"Would you come with me if I asked you to?" Celeste retorted before taking another drink.

Muriel blinked at her, reeling a bit. That was a response he hadn't considered. Going with her? With Julian?

When he didn't respond, she made a vague gesture of dismissal. "I guess we're at an impasse, then."

They sat quietly for a long moment, drinking. Muriel extended his hand again, searching for hers. Celeste relented, giving his fingers a squeeze.

"I don't want to argue with you. Not today." He said, low, his eyes downcast.

The music shifted. A slow song. There was a shuffle of chairs and barstools as the dance floor occupants adjusted. Some joining with their partners, others falling away to make room.

Celeste sighed and moved to stand, hand still connected to Muriel's. He eyed her warily.

"It's not the Masquerade. Everyone is drunk. Come on." she said, coaxing him out.

Muriel narrowed his eyes but followed. When he stood, Celeste took both his hands, pulling him backward toward the dance floor.

She pulled his hands to her waist and moved her arms around his torso, finding her favorite spot. Head on his chest. She heard a familiar wolf-whistle from the bar and gave a laugh. Barth, cheering them on.

Celeste took the "lead." Whatever that looked like. They simply stood in the circle of each other's embrace, swaying to the music. No attempts at dipping one another. No spins or twirls. No fancy footwork. Just nearness.

Muriel's hands were firm at her waist, looking down at her as they rocked. The way her eyes fluttered shut, and she breathed him in. As if there were no one else in the world watching. He could feel the eyes, but just now, he could push their stares away. The lantern light playing in her hair. Her skin glowing. Cheek just the slightest bit flushed from drink.

His Celeste. The great love of his life. In front of all these people, completely at ease in his hands. Never afraid of him.

When the music subsided, there was a smattering of laughter. For the musicians, Muriel thought and turned to the stage. When he found all the eyes on them, he blushed wildly. Celeste laughed, shaking her head.

"Why are they...?" he asked, bewildered.

"It's not every day they get a folk hero in their bar."

"Hero?" His tone was incredulous.

"The imprisoned Gladiator that defeated the devil himself? It's a favorite story around here." She said, giving his hand a squeeze.

"You know it wasn't quite that simple," he said, looking down at her.

"Smile and wave, Darling. Your public adores you." she teased.

"Give us a kiss, Love!" Barth called out from behind the bar, and there was a swell of other voices, cheering them on. Some glasses and tankers banging on various table tops. A low chant of "Kiss, Kiss, Kiss."

Muriel blinked, caught off guard. Celeste smiled up at him. "Should we--"

She was suddenly off her feet, swept up in his arms and dipped low for a kiss. Celeste scrambled blindly, hands trying to find purchase on him. His lips were heavy and hot against hers. His hand at the back of her head, his other arm around her back, holding her aloft and horizontal to the ground.

After a long moment, he released her. She was breathless, heart pounding. The din of the crowd was deafening. He carefully lowered her back to the ground. His face looked positively mischevious.

"I'd like to take you back to the shop now." Muriel said, husky.

Celeste nodded rapidly.

He had her by the hand and moved swiftly for the door, Celeste had the presence of mind to look back at Barth, who waved her on. "On me!"

---

They practically fell into the shop once Celeste managed to wrestle the door open. Muriel kicked it shut with a bang. Muriel hoisted her up onto the countertop and was immediately on his knees in front of her.

He was thwarted by her crinoline and groaned, frustrated. Celeste was fumbling with buttons, not quite able to manage them. "Fuck the dress," she said breathlessly. And Muriel nodded, his hands coming to her lapels and yanking roughly. The fabric rended like paper under his hands, leaving her exposed. She shed the sleeves, and he tugged the crinoline away, tossing it aside in a heap.

His mouth was on her in an instant, and her legs were over his shoulders. Muriel could feel her boot heels pressing into his shoulders, drawing him into her. He brought his hands up to her waist, holding her in place, so she didn't slip off the counter.

His tongue parted the outer lips of her sex, and darted out to find her clit. She was already soaking wet, her fluids drenching his mouth. Celeste hissed above him, her hands in his hair, the braids falling loose from the various stops they had made en route to the shop, unable to suppress their need.

His lips closed around the bud, and he sucked gently. She was calling out his name above him, held securely in place, but still tensing and writhing, back arching. He ventured a hand upwards, finding her breast and cupping it, thumb finding her nipple, brushing his calloused thumb across.

He could feel his cock straining against the trousers, painfully. He fucking hated these clothes. All these buttons and fastenings. He pulled away from Celeste's cunt, and she whined. "Just-- just a second," he said, releasing her breast and reaching down to find the buttons at the fly. He managed to undo the top fastenings and slide them down far enough to allow his member to spring free. He gave a satisfied sigh when he could take himself in hand, stroking.

He returned to his ministrations, tongue seeking out her canal. Dripping with desire. He lapped away the slick with long strokes, thrusting in and out of the hole, drinking her in. She was so warm and wet, and the smell saturated his senses, overwhelming him.

"Muriel..." Celeste hissed, trying to draw him up. He pulled back and stared up at her, mouth slightly agape, eyes heavy-lidded. She didn't need to ask. He knew.

He pushed himself up off the floor. Celeste's legs were still on his shoulders, but she shifted herself so she could lay back on the counter, head falling over the edge.

The counter put her at the perfect height for him. He moved his hand along the planes of her stomach, feeling the way she fluttered under his touch with anticipation. He slid his fingers through her curls, noticing, for the first time, that she had groomed her pubic hair. The smattering of dark curls on her stomach shaved away and the shape altered. Refined.

He clenched his jaw, staring down at the smooth skin, running his fingertips over the bare spaces.

He felt something inside him snap, and he grabbed his cock in hand, finding her entrance and thrusting roughly. Celeste made to cry out from shock, but her breath was caught in a cough. The violent contraction of her body sending her cunt into a spasm around him.

Muriel rocked into her with long, slow strokes to accommodate for his initial roughness. But, his hand stayed firm on her stomach, not allowing her to rise, keeping her down. He could feel himself moving within her.

Celeste was pressed against him, barely able to move, legs straight up. Muriel was deep inside her from the first stroke. She was still trying to catch her breath, but the shock was giving way to pleasure. The exquisite stretch of being filled by his cock. She felt each inch as he withdrew. The ridges and veins, the swell of the head. Moving fluidly inside her, coated in her slick.

Muriel's movements became more frenzied, with each keen and gasp that came from Celeste's lips. The wet sounds that came from between her legs. The thud of his hips against the backs of her thighs.

She came for him, wetness surging from her, her walls clenching as he continued fucking her, hitting her deepest and most sensitive places.

When he was close, he withdrew from her and took his cock in hand, stroking himself to completion. Hot, thick spurts of come on her belly, on her mons. He groaned with each spasm, head falling back.

When he was spent, he took a deep breath, bracing himself on the countertop. He looked down at Celeste, covered in his seed. He released his cock and reached up to take her by the wrist, bringing her hand to the sticky mess, drawing her fingers through the substance, making her spread it across the bare places that she had shaved.

Celeste was still in a haze from her orgasm. But she realized, even in her daze, his point. She should have known he wouldn't have been pleased. She sighed to herself, allowing him to move her hands.

When he was satisfied, he pulled her up, sliding his hand under her back and drawing her up. He brought her fingers to his lips, drawing them into his mouth, sucking away the remaining come. One finger at a time. Celeste watched the display. Soft lips wrapping around the digits. Tasting himself on her skin.

When her fingers were cleaned, he drew her hand up to his neck and leaned in to kiss her. It was positively chaste compared to his previous actions. Soft and tender. When they parted, he pressed his forehead against hers, staring intensely into her eyes.

Celeste stroked her fingers across the nape of his neck, a ghost of a smile on her lips.

"Mine." Muriel whispered. Not a question. An assertion.

"Yours. Always yours." Celeste replied.

Momentarily satisfied, Muriel pulled back, hitching his pants again, situating his softened member. When he was settled, he moved to sweep Celeste into his arms. Bridal style. Celeste laughed and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Bath," he said shortly, moving towards the back of the shop to the staircase.

---

Celeste had always been a big fan of the bath in the shop. It was ridiculously large. Now that she knew Muriel, she assumed it was an accommodation Asra had made just in case. It wasn't nearly the size of the baths in the palace, of course. But she didn't need a swimming pool. She liked being pressed up against Muriel, between his thighs.

He was stroking a soapy cloth over her body. Lazy, languid circles. She was melted against him, eyes closed.

"Cela?"

"Hm?"

Muriel sat the cloth aside and brought his hand to the necklace, rolling the orb between his fingers thoughtfully.

"If it had been a ring..."

"...I would have said yes."

Muriel sighed.

"Then, I'm asking."

Celeste tensed, and her eyes shot open.

"Why?" she asked, dubious.

"Because I love you. Because I want you..."

Celeste stared up at the ceiling, measuring her response carefully. "Okay. I will marry you...but I'm leaving tomorrow. We can plan the wedding when I get back."

Muriel swore. "God damn it, Celeste."

Celeste made a noise of confirmation and planted her hands on the sides of the tub, pushing herself out of the water, stepping out. He caught her wrist, but she wrenched out of his slippery grip.

"I'm not doing this, Muriel," she said, beyond exasperated. She was offended. She grabbed a bath towel and wrapped herself in it. "I'm having a hard enough time, I do not need this from you. I am going, and you'll either be here waiting, or you won't."

Muriel was up and after her, watching as she swept out of the bathroom while he fumbled with a towel. "Celeste, we love each other. Why do you insist on leaving me over and over again? I'm so...tired of being left."

"You don't think I know that? Don't you know how selfish I feel? But I have to do this for myself. I am going. I have to go--"

"You don't." Muriel bit out. "Once you wept to leave me. You fought against death to get back to me. And I have been patient. I have given up everything for us. And I have been tolerant. But, there was always supposed to be an end to this...you were my promise, Celeste. We're supposed to be together."

"I didn't make any fucking deals, Muriel. I had nothing to do with any of this," she shouted back. "What you and Asra did I am grateful for, but I am not indebted to either of you. I made no deals. I stood by your side. I fought alongside you. I went through hell. You made deals. Not me. And if I want to get on a fucking boat and go be something else for a couple months, I'm going to do it."

Muriel stood to his full height, eyes hard, jaw set. Then, in an instant, he was going down the stairs, sending Celeste reeling.

"Where are you going?" She called after him, following after.

When she caught up to him, he had the bouquet in his hand, unwrapping the flowers from the blue paper. Celeste watched him, eyebrow raised. He thrust the paper at her.

"What is..."

"Fucking look at it." he spat.

Celeste laid the paper out on the countertop, squinting at it.

They were plans. Blueprints.

She clutched the towel to her chest with one hand and stroked the lines on the page with the fingertips of the other. It was a house. A cabin.

She looked up at Muriel, who was scowling.

"I want you to stay. I want to make a home with you. I love you." He growled.

"Oh...Muriel." Celeste said, righting herself. "This is for us? This is our home?"

"Stay," he stated, his tone still biting.

"You're building this for us?" Celeste asked, her lip trembling.

"Stay," he repeated, his harshness fading. "I need you to stay."

"We can still have this. I am coming home." Celeste felt the first tear fall. "I want this, I want the same thing you do..."

Muriel drew a shuddering breath. "Why do I keep losing you? What am I doing wrong? Why do you keep leaving me?"

"I don't know how else to explain the distinction between going on a trip from which I will return and leaving you," she said, trying to keep her composure. "I love you. I don't ever want to leave you."

"But you don't love me enough to stay." he retorted. "Not enough to realize that I want you. I will give everything in the world away for you. I want to give you my whole heart for my whole life."

"You have had a decade to love me. I didn't know...I need to leave for a little bit and see the world with clear eyes. I just...please. Understand."

"I'm trying. I am. But I'm tired. I'm ready for you. I'm ready now." Muriel pleaded. "Please don't leave, Celeste."

"Come with me," she said, crossing the room to him, looking up into his eyes. "You're free, too. Nothing is holding you here. Come with me. See the world with me."

"I will go anywhere with you. With you. I will not go with Julian."

"I made a commitment."

"You made a promise. To me. Long before Julian."

"I will keep my promise. I will."

"When? After he takes you halfway around the world where I can't get to you? Gets you pregnant? He decides that he doesn't want to come home? That he wants you to stay with him?"

"Why don't you trust me? I am coming back."

"I trust you. I don't trust Julian. And I do not trust him with you in the slightest. He will try to keep you. And I won't be able to get you back."

Celeste shook her head. "I don't know how to make this better for you. I love Julian. I love Asra. But...you have to know that I choose you. I choose us," she paused, wiping tears away. "But, I deserve your respect. I deserve to take my time."

Muriel nodded, defeated. "Then, I guess you're going. There's nothing left to say." He stepped past her, back to the staircase.

Celeste was frozen in place, watching him go.

After a long while He descended the stairs, dressed. He stopped in front of her, silent tears falling.

He placed his hands on her shoulders, fixing his eyes on hers. "Stay with me, Celeste. Stay."

She was shivering, trembling. "I can't." she forced out. Her tone all regret.

Muriel nodded, his heart broken. "Fine." He spoke, his tone cold.

And then, he was gone, across the shop and out the door in an instant.

---

Celeste stood, side by side with Julian at the docks. The ship behind them.

Portia and Nadia to one side, hands clasped. Portia nearly in tears as Nadia repeated all the ways in which she would be missed.

Asra stood in front of Celeste. He had been apprised of the rudiments from the previous evening's activities. First by Muriel, then by Celeste. His eyes were sad. Because she was leaving, of course. But, because he had hoped that it would work.

Asra would never be the one to hold Celeste. He felt it would be hypocritical to do so, after all she had put up with. And now, all she was contending with regarding her new-found knowledge. He knew the peace that came with being away from the strains and stresses of daily life. To retreat. To be free.

But it still hurt to see her go.

"You're going to come home to me, right?" Asra said, trying to force a lilt into his voice.

Celeste nodded. "Always, Asra. My Heart." She placed her hand on her chest. "I'm always just a heartbeat away."

Asra leaned in to kiss her, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, fighting back the urge to break down in tears all over again.

This was supposed to be a happy day. A fresh start.

Asra's grip was tight, holding her to him, his kiss feverish. His mind calling out to make her stay. Find a way. Do whatever it takes.

But, he had already done that. He had found a way to keep her.

Celeste was his.

But, most wonderfully, she belonged entirely to herself. Free to choose. To live her life. And how lucky they all were to have her. That she chose all of them. Loved all of them.

His heart had been a gift. It wasn’t a life sentence.

When their kiss ended, their foreheads were pressed together. Hearts beating in sync.

"I love you, Asra," she whispered.

"I love you, Celeste. Oh, how I love you." Asra replied, his voice wavering.

From above them, there was a sharp whistle. Mazelinka, looking equally amused and irritated. "Alright, Lovebirds! We're pushing off!"

Celeste's eyes went wide with panic, pulling back from Asra, looking over his shoulder. Asra caught her gaze and turned to follow it.

There was nothing. A line of well-wishers, offering similar sentiments to their loved ones before they boarded.

No Muriel.

She sighed. Asra felt his heart skip a beat. He turned back to her, giving a sympathetic look. "He...hates the docks." He offered.

Celeste gave a rueful laugh. "Well...he hates...something, that's for sure."

"Sweetheart...no. He...doesn't hate you. He could never hate you."

Julian's hand fell on her shoulder, giving an affectionate squeeze. "If you want, I can tell Maz to hold off a little longer."

Celeste drew a sharp breath and shook her head. "No...It's time." She said relenting. Turning to smile up at Julian. "We're free, Julian. As free as we'll ever be again."

He grinned broadly. "Oh, you lovely, lovely woman."

Asra caught her free hand and gave it a squeeze, tears threatening to fall. "Be safe. If you need me..."

Celeste laughed and nodded. "I'll be surrounded by water. I know where to find you."

She leaned in to give him one last kiss. Delicate and short.

Asra released her hand and looked up to Julian. "Take care of my Heart, Ilya," he said, his tone a warning.

"You have my word, Asra," Julian said, sincere.

Maz whistled again, less amused this time, staring down at Julian with a hard look. He smiled back, unphased, but when he turned to look at Celeste, she could see the slight dread on his features.

"Time to go?" she asked sarcastically.

Julian nodded. "Before she finds things to throw."

---

Celeste stood with Julian at the side of the boat. His arm was around her waist. Julian eagerly waving at the remaining wellwishers.

Asra and Nadia stood side by side after vowing to watch them over the Horizon line.

When the boat finally began moving away from the dock, she rested her hand over her heart, and Asra mirrored her.

Then, Asra felt his heart drop and saw Celeste's face shift.

Muriel stood at the top of the docks, watching as the boat was unmoored and began to move away.

Julian, to his credit, did rush to the captain to try to convince him to stop and was met with a firm, hearty "Fuck you. No."

Asra rushed up the docks to Muriel, who met him halfway.

"You didn't stop her?" Muriel asked, eyes wide.

"How the hell was I supposed to know that you were coming?" Asra retorted, looking back at the boat that was well away from the dock now. He whirled back to Muriel. "What is...do you have a bag?" Asra's mouth fell open, looking at the satchel that Muriel was carrying. "Oh, fuck."

"Can I get to her?" he asked, trying to figure out what to do.

"I...don't...Nadia?" Asra said, looking for a solution.

Nadia shook her head. "I'm afraid not. They generally won't turn back." She said, her tone compassionate. "We might be able to send another boat after them? Meet them at their next port?"

Muriel sighed, shaking his head. "I thought I had time."

"Muriel, we can figure this out," Asra said, reaching out to rest his hand on Muriel's arm. "We can get you to her."

"No." he said, setting his jaw, eyes going dark.

"Muriel.." Asra began, but Muriel turned and walked away, eyes cast down.

Asra looked back at the boat, then to Muriel. He swore, and chase after him, calling his name.

---

Celeste stood, shocked. Cold all over. Portia stood at her side, a hand on her back, trying to settle her down.

"Can...can I get off?" Celeste asked, her voice shaky.

"No, I'm sorry, sweetie! But, I'm sure Nadia will figure something out." Portia offered sweetly.

"I can swim. Can I jump?"

Julian came back from the captain and his eye went wide. "No, you may absolutely not jump."

"Julian...he came. He won't understand. I have to go back." She broke away from Portia, rounding on Julian.

"I know, I know." He said, catching her by her upper arms. "Nadia will figure something out. We've got Malak. We can send word back. It will be fine."

"He won't understand..."

Julian's sympathetic expression shifted, eye narrowing. "He's a grown man, Celeste. He made a choice. You asked him to come, and he waited until the last possible moment to make a decision. He'll be here when we get back, or he'll figure it out."

Celeste sobered a bit. She couldn't argue with that. She sighed, looking back over her shoulder. The docks further away with each second.

And Muriel, followed by Asra, retreating.

#fanfiction #fanfic #apprentice x muriel #apprentice oc #apprentice x julian #apprentice x asra #muriel #asra alnazar #julian devorak #apprentice celeste #celeste #mc #oc #arcana oc #the arcana game #arcana #the arcana muriel #the arcana asra #the arcana julian

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otomeopie · 5 years

Note

No idea if you wanted requests here but I'm going to ask for some Lancelot fluff. Maybe MC stays up late, in part waiting fro Lancelot to finish his late meeting, and to watch the sunset? And when Lancelot arrives she's half asleep, sat in the floor, with Shine cuddling up to her??? I really liked you're 'I'm Home' fic and can't wait to see what else you have in store for us :) Have a good day/night! 💖

Sunset

Hi @that-wasnt-so-bad ! sorry this took so long (*´ω｀*)ゞ hope you forgive me but yeah hope you like it (◕‿◕✿)

Note: I’m currently working on other requests so Incase some of you are wondering, pardon me if it’s taking too long but I swear I’d post it once it’s done. My requests are still open if you guys want to ask anything.

Word Count: 1300

Genre: Fluff

Pairing: Lancelot Kingsley x Reader

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

You sat on the floor your legs crossed as you turned a page from your book. The sun was in full view on the window. You were currently in your shared bedroom. A frown rested on your face, as you looked at the sun – the sun was about to set.

You wanted to watch the sunset with your King of hearts today.

Your thoughts were interrupted as a big furry white feline rubbed its head on your legs. Your eyes diverted to the animal who was looking at you with her adorable eyes. A smile appeared on your lips patting the feline’s head with your hand.

“It’s just me and you, huh Shine?” The feline licked your hand in an affectionate matter– as if it responded to your words. You let out a giggle as the sensation tickled you.

For the past week Lancelot has been busy with a lot of things, meetings was frequently finished late. And that left you no time to spend some quality time.

You may or may not have almost kidnapped him, locked him up, forced him to stay one time, when you were frustrated about the short amount of time you get to share with him.

But you understood that his work is important, and ruling and leading the Red Army isn’t really the easiest job out there.

So In the end you just went along with it, not wanting to be a burden to him.

Another yawned escaped your lips, while Shine made herself at home on your lap, her head lied on your legs.

“Let’s wait for Lancelot, kay Shine” You brushed your fingers through Shine’s fur—your book now forgotten, your attention now diverted to the forming sunset. A sigh escaped your lips

“Another sunset missed”

The sun’s light no longer illuminates the room once Lancelot enters the room. Lancelot’s lips form a smile as he stared at the at figures on the floor at foot of his bed.

‘His two favorite girls’

You cuddled up with shine, the feline on your lap. Your eyes closed. Lancelot walked towards the couch crouching in front of you, stroking your hair and breathing in your scent.

You let out a groan as Lancelot drew his back his hand. Missing the hand that caressed your face you mumbled something inaudible and grabbed his hand back to you face.

“What took you so long?” Your eyes beginning to flutter open as a yawn escaped your lips.

“you were supposed to watch the sunset with me” A pout formed on your lips as you tried to fight off the sleep, while you forced your eyes open.

Lancelot chuckled at your actions, he crept closer to your face and brushed the hair out of your face. He pressed his lips on your cheek his lips lingered for some moment until he withdrew his hand as he started to explain.

“I’m sorry-” He stopped as he placed himself beside you while he wrapped his arms around your waist and placed his head on the crook of your neck. “There has been a lot of problem going on addressing the matter with the peace treaty with the Black Army” Lancelot explained his breath caused Goosebumps to form on the skin of your neck.

“But you could’ve at least told me you were coming late, Shine and I had to stay up, just to wait for you, you know” You huffed as you pointed at the feline whose head sat on your lap sleeping softly. “Well I guess I was the only one who stayed up”. you narrowed your eyes at Shine as you muttered ‘Traitor’.

Lancelot sighed “I’m sorry, is there anyway to make it up to you?” his hands trailed on your thigh as he pressed a kiss on your neck.

You couldn’t resist him when he did that—he just has this effect on you, but either way you wouldn’t give in, well until you see him beg. A smirk formed on your lips as plan formed in your hand.

You swatted his head away, you pouted and crossed your arms. “You think you can just kiss me And all is forgiven?” You cocked your eyebrows at him your lips pursed still not budging.

Lancelot looked at you with a confused expression– you didn’t really act like this before until he noticed your face fighting off a smile.

Finally getting what game you were playing, he went on his knees as he looked at you with his playfully pleading eyes.

‘Oh god’ you didn’t know that he would actually go along with your game.

You tried to stifle a laugh as he began “I’m sorry my dear queen for missing the sunset I promise to free my schedule tomorrow to spend the whole day with you” he playfully said his hands holding yours as he pressed it to his chest.

“If Jonah knew you called me your ‘queen’ you wouldn’t hear the end of it” You laughed as you rolled your eyes at him, a large grin formed on his face.

“But If it meant that it would make you laugh like that, I’d do it again and again” Lancelot said his eyes stared at you adoringly.

A blush crept on your face, biting your lip from the attention he gave you, you shyly ducked your head to avoid him seeing your scarlet cheek.

“That’s not fair, I suppressed my pride just to make you smile and now you’ll avoid me” it was his turn to pout—it was just an adorable sight.

He cupped your cheeks with his large hand, you looked down avoiding eye contact while biting your lip.

“Please look at me?” Lancelot asked softly, submitting to his request, his ocean blue eyes stared at your own.

The quiet silence engulfed the two of you. He inched closer and pressed his forehead to yours, his breath hitting your nose. Both of your lips only inch apart.

You didn’t know who leaned in first, the gap between you two closed as your lips was pressed to his. Butterflies swarmed your stomach, you locked your hands on his neck as you deepened the kiss.

Your moment was interrupted when a certain large feline pressed her head on Lancelot’s shoulder, your kiss was broken as you stared at him trying to catch your breath.

His attention now diverted to Shine, as much as you didn’t want it to end the sight of him being loving to his pet was worth the compromise.

He pets her head, the feline rubbing her head on him. You smiled as Lancelot put his free hand on your shoulder holding you closer to him.

Moments like this made your heart flutter, the simple playful acts the both of you would do. And to think that the both of you used to have a distaste towards each other, it was a miracle for you to even be able to be close to him. He had locked you up, pushed you away, he was such a broken man, it was even more of a miracle that you were able to thaw a beast’s cold heart.

Falling in love was never part of the plan, because you were heads on ready to leave cradle once the full moon appears again, but you couldn’t resist not falling in love with him.

But in the end it was all worth it, if it meant you get to spend your day curled up with Lancelot and Shine, you’d do it over and over again.

“Hey Lancelot”

“Yes?”

“I love you”

“I love you too” He said as he pressed a kiss on top of your head.

Maybe being Cuddled up with Lancelot and Shine is a better view than the view of the Sunset.

#Lancelot Kingsley Fanfiction #Request #Ikemen Revolution #lancelot kingsley #fanfic

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storyofmyownlife · 4 years

Text

End of The Decade

I started this about 9 years ago for a very simple reason-I was hooked on the tv show called Akward. Jenna, the main protagonist of the show, likes to write blogs about her life as a way to cope and express how she feels. Awe inspired, I decided to create my own anonymous blog with the hopes that cathartic venting and documenting the past can help me navigate the present. For the last couple if years, l had been given many opportunities to taste the bittersweet feelings of life. Truth to be told, I have never thought I would be here writing this blog to end the decade. The earlier entries can attest to this. Ten years a go my life was in shambles. I had a broken family, broken English, and the broken will to live.

My father, two siblings and I arrived in Canada on April of 2009 to finally live with my mom. With little regards of the past, I cherished the brand new start to live a life without prejudice. I felt very little emotion when I left the Philippines because I knew deep down I could finally escape the invalidation of others of how I suppose to love. Of course, then, I was naive to think that I wouldn't felt that way ever again- I was completely wrong. It did not take long before everything start to turn sour. Us siblings did not get a long. We did not group together and we did not know how to live with one another. My mom and dad started to fight a lot. Almost every night. My dad started drinking a lot for many reasons that I know now and understood, but not completely forgiven. He misses his old life back in his home country- the life of the party and his other family. My mom push him to work and help with bills. Just like my sister and my brother and I, My mom and dad did live apart for many years. The feeling of living with my whole family was foreign to me. A month after arrival, the incident happened. The police came and for many months the social worker came and visit us. The resentment between us siblings began to build up. For many months, my brother and I blamed my sister for telling the truth. Knowing what I knew now she did the right thing. Nevertheless, my brother and I alienated her.

I also had broken English. I did not make a lot of friends in Grade 8. I was that loner kid who would spend every day during lunch alone and would walk on the school ground by himself. My sister and my brother got their own friends. I wanted to make my own but couldnt. On the bright side, my brother became friends with the guy name Denver. He is one of the only few people in our lives who never left for the past decade. He is still with us.

I started high school. I made more friends who are Filipino. We all kind of form this group. Denver is also part of it. Within that inner group, we had more inner clique called cajibo. I'm not going to disclose who they are because I no longer associate myself with them and it does not matter. There were also four girls who called themselves kimfejeny and they became part of the inner group. Regardless of what happened in the end, they taught me a lot of things about life. For the first time, they made me feel what is like to find a family in a group of random strangers. I must admit they helped us work throughout with some of the traumas. We had crazy dreams together, we spent so many adventures together, and they taught me the life is not as simple as black and white. It all ended because I cared too much and told the truth when it was not my place to do so. Inspite of if all, there were some silver linings to it.

I worked hard to improve my english and move in advance english. My ESL teacher helped me a lot. I improved my academic performance in no time. I also began to developed new relationships. My brother and I became more close to Daniel, Alen, Kith, and Alden. I also began to listen to Taylor Swift's music. She did help me cope with unreciprocated love, broken hearts, and the unpredictability of life. I swear I had crush on couple of people at my high school. I'm just gonna name them here for memories sake- adam, alden, aiah, and andrew.

As time went by, I started thinking about my future. After taking few courses, I knew that I have a passion for literature and history. During my junior and senior years, I took classes in philosophy, history, and law. I was no good in math. Science was okay. I actually got the biology award college level and made it to the honor roll in grade 11 and 12.

In my senior year, this girl name Chelsea asked me out to go to the prom with her. I tagged a long with her friends. They were also friends kimfejeny and some members of cajibo. It was an okay time. I didnt really have an ecstatic time. Suffice to say, I got to go so it was a check for one of my bucket list. Since I'm on the subject, I also went to Red tour concert instead of going to my own school prom. Ed Sheeran performed with Taylor swift! They were both great. Another item checked off!

On my last year, I was also determined to move out. My mom was very supportive of it. We started to look for school. I got in to all of the ones that I applied to. I was torn between u of t and Mac. To be honest, I would not have considered or let alone knew about mcmaster if it wasn't for Andrew. I visited both schools. I thought that u of t provide more classes and opportunities for what I wanted to do. But, I wanted to have an experience like those in movies. Also, deep down I wanted to run away in hope that I could find myself and be. I decided to go to mac

My brother and I graduated. I said goodbye to my favorite high school teach who gave my brother and I a gift. But she did not need to because she has already given me so much and more. The summer was filled with excitement and anticipation. I held a get together before I leave for college. I said goodbye to my friends and left a note for my brother to read. There were crying involve because I felt that I did not deserve them at all. They were so good to me and I was not in return. That summer was bittersweet.

I started my university experience. I would not go in a lot of details because I pretty much documented my first year here well enough. Grace, Shane, nicole and devone made a difference in life, especially Grace. She saved me from myself.

In second year, it was interesting because it started off as bad. I was seeing this guy and wanted to be with him but couldnt. I also was very insecure about myself and my sexuality. Everyone went on dates, make out with someone at the party, etc. I risked my life a couple of times in pursuit of getting the same experience. With the help of my friend and after going to group support, I got through it all. I started joining clubs: board games society, humanities,etc.

Devon came back. Turns out he is bi. I've always liked and wanted him. I had wanted his approval but It was an impossible task. He was drunk and toxic. He liked one of my roommate to who kind of like him too, but did know it was right. She was also the only person who knew about my feelings towards him. Suffice to say my relationship with Devon was severed after the end of that year. Shane was also a drunk and feel like he would not approve of my sexuality so I cut my relationship with him slowly.

I also started dating someone name T. It was an okay relationship. He was a really good guy but I don't think we were meant for each other. I loved how he held me, but I knew I was not the one for him. I was not a good boyfriend to him. I think I tried to look for things in him that I want from my partner. Older, and hopefully wiser, know now that it was wrong. I ended it.

I had great times with my friends and old roommates. Spontaneous drives, adventures, and they gave me opportunities to experience things I never experienced before. Like going to demetris, hiking to trails and falls, random trips to McDonalds etc. Alicia also became my support on my last year at mac. I also became hers as well.

When graduated, I did not find a job immediately and was kind of down. I started to work out to motivate myself. I lost about 75 pound in a couple of months. With the help of family friends, I got hired at a law firm. I learned a lot of things from there. What it's like to practice law, experience to use office equipments, how to network, etc. The perks were great. But the coworkers and the work are not as great. Couple of coworkers come and go. 2 years and a half I still work with them. I also met Ashley, Selena, clarice, bryce, mike. Fun fact: Ashley's wedding was the first wedding that I attended that was not affiliated with my family.

A year ago, I woke up one day and decided to apply to post grad HR program. I was supposed to apply right after I graduated university but I knew I needed to take some time off. But, that day, I was determined to start a new. I got in to the program but was not able to start until last january. The program taught me so much about myself and others. I worked like I've never work in my life. In the end, I got 3.64 GPA. I've made friends and enemies.

My friends from high school that I mentioned before are still with me to this very day. We've gone through so many late night adventures together! I finished my internship last week and I now work as a full time employee at COC. I've traveled couple of times outside Canada for the past 2 years.My family and I recently went to punta Cana. I'm hoping to go to either Mexico or California next year!. I know in my last post I may have mentioned my struggle with the changing times. I know everyone in my life is starting to build their own life without me and that's okay. It is part of growing up. I'm also having short term memory lost lately but hopefully I get better. I'm hoping that my friendship with mike and Bryce would last longer. I wish my family the best in this new decade.

They say, life gets tougher as you grow older. My hope is I became tougher and more resilient still. I will ride the every changing tides of time while always looking up to the daylight.

I'll tell you the truth but never goodbye.

December 31st, 2019

Ps: pic 1 shows the books that I accumulated and read over the years. Pic 2 my favorite things the I received and owned this year.

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