I've only slept 4h in the past 32h but I need to hold on until tonight to go to bed so I don't ruin my whole sleep schedule/week, and you know what the whole Taylor Swift shop being down and the eras tour "will she/won't she announce anything tonight" is keeping me up better than any cup of coffee ever could

Thank you to the lovelies who are still here ❤️

Felix Felicis

MSR. AU. PG-13. | tagging @today-in-fic | read on AO3

Chapter 22 - B Is For Basketball

[ DS ]

October has faded into November, pumpkin-spiced latte has been replaced by peppermint mocha and plans for Thanksgiving break have been secured, my mom beside herself with joy that Bill Jr. will be returning from his assignment overseas just in time for the holidays.

At school, we’ve made paper turkeys for our window decorations in school, and slowly, I’m beginning to get into the holiday spirit myself. I stay late on this Friday afternoon to put the finishing touches on the turkeys, cutting out paper candy corn and taping everything to the insides of the windows that line our classroom. ‘Looks pretty good, the kids finally got the hang of cutting paper along the lines neatly.’

I exchange my heels for my gym sneakers after a long day, grab my book bag and head out, locking the door behind me. The eery calm of an empty school building soothes me and I turn out the lights of our hallway. When I look out into the school yard, I notice that someone has left on the lights in our gym and I roll my eyes. That someone might have been me forgetting after my lesson today, so I cross the yard quickly to turn them off before I head home.

When I enter the gym, though, I freeze at the top of the bleachers. The floor is empty safe for one Fox Mulder, dribbling a basketball and shooting hoops. I know I should just turn around and leave him to it, but I just can’t help watching, slack-jawed, as the muscles of his back ripple under that tight t-shirt. It’s not often that I get to watch him without getting caught, so I allow myself to stare for just a little bit longer, heart hammering in my chest.

I only realize that my hands have gone limp when my keys hit the floor with a deafening crash and I almost jump out of my skin. ‘Run! Move! Now!’ My legs are not cooperating, damn them, and I see to my horror that he whips around and spots me standing on top of the bleacher’s stairs.

“Jesus, Scully! You trying to kill me?” ‘Those damn forearms of yours are what’s killing me…’

His surprised expression morphs into a smile. “Skinner said it’s okay if I used the gym for practice in the winter. What are you still doing here?”

“Uh... I was hanging turkeys … and I noticed the light on … and I thought that I had left them on after my lesson … and yeah…” ‘Stop rambling, you idiot!’

Now he’s grinning even wider and I can tell he’s going to tease me mercilessly. In my head, I start a list of ‘10 things I hate about you.’

“Didn’t know you hang your own turkey for Thanksgiving dinner, Scully, that’s pretty badass of you!” ‘I want to smack that smirk off your pretty face right now, how’s that for badass?’

I roll my eyes at him and he has the audacity to look incredibly pleased with himself. “Have you ever shot a three-pointer, Scully?” ‘What now?’ I take a moment to contemplate what to say next.

“No. In case you hadn’t noticed, I’m only a few inches taller than a yardstick, so I guess I have found more necessary things to do with my time than fail at basketball.”

He jerks his head holding up the basketball. “Get over here, Scully.” The tone in his voice makes my skin tingle.

I’m almost 100 percent sure he thinks I won’t do it, but I won’t give him the satisfaction of backing out now, so instead of shooting him down, I walk down the stairs slowly until I’m standing in front of him. I have to tip my head pretty far back to give him a blank look and the eyebrow and smack the basketball out of his hand, sending it bouncing on the floor a few times. Now it’s my turn to smirk at his surprised expression.

Laughing, he goes to pick up the ball and I think of other things I’d like to smack as I get a good look at his backside when he bends down. “Alright sassy lady, you stand here and I’ll try to get around you to the hoop. You need to block me and take the ball from me, okay?”

We move into position and he dribbles the ball a few times. “Okay. Just don’t body-check me!” ‘Oh yes please, body-check me. Tackle me. Wrestle me down to the ground.’

“Body-checking’s for hockey, Scully, so don’t worry!” He moves suddenly, to pass on my right side and I follow, trying to get the ball out from under his hand but he turns and twirls around me and in three long strides, he’s jumping up to the hoop, sinking the ball into it with a satisfying swoosh. Color me impressed.

“You want to try?”

“There was some talk about shooting three-pointers, I think I’ll stick to that for now. Where do I start, here?”

“No, that’s the free throw line. Back there’s the three-point line. Now don’t be nervous, I know for a fact that you can take a shot. Or three…” He looks so pleased with himself at the hint, but it only makes me flash back to Halloween night. Steve. Easy lay.

Shaking the thought from my head, I take the ball he offers to me and bounce it a few times.

‘Oy that’s pretty far away from the hoop, crap. Too late to back out now, Dana.’

I move to stand at the indicated line, holding the ball between my hands and concentrating hard on the hoop, I throw it. The ball sails forward in a pathetically low arc, missing the hoop for miles. If he laughs now, I swear to God, I’ll hang his ass from the backboard.

Thankfully for him, though, he bites back the teasing and instead, moves around me to stand against my back. The hairs at the back of my neck stand up at his proximity. “Come on, I’ll show you.” Reaching his arms around me, his front pressed against my back, he holds the ball in front of my face. ‘He’s too close, damn it! Houston, I have a problem!’

He nudges my foot outward and forward a little with his and I can feel his warm breath on my neck. “Legs shoulder width apart.” Next, he takes my wrist, raising my arm to 90 degrees and places my hand underneath the ball. “Spread your fingers and rest the ball on your palm. Only touch it with your fingertips.” I swallow hard around a lump in my throat, nodding. ‘Mayday, mayday!’

My left hand is placed on the side of the ball. “Don’t grip the ball with your left hand. Now you need to bend your knees and jump.” I start to hyperventilate when it dawns on me where exactly my ass will be pressed against when I bend my knees. But his hands leave mine as he steps back and the loss of warmth on my back makes me shiver.

I jump and make my shot and while it’s infinitesimally better than my first shot, I still miss. I groan in frustration, I hate being bad at something.

“I’m just too short, damn it!” ‘If I start to cry now, I’ll hang myself from that backboard.’ Now I’m not only agitated and nervous, now I’m frustrated on top of it all.

He gets the ball back and hands it to me, a thoughtful look on his face and I wonder what he’s up to now. “Hmm… okay, let’s try something else.”

I almost jump out of my skin when his hands grab my waist just below my ribs. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Relax, Scully, I’m giving you height.” I’m feel lightheaded. “Okay, on three you jump and make your shot. 1, 2, 3!” I follow his orders and he lifts me over his head as I shoot for the hoop, my heart going a mile a minute, a faint ringing in my ears.

This is all so perfect and romantic and sexy all at the same time.

No, wait.

It’s too perfect, too romantic, too sexy, too close, too much. too soon. too many unknowns. too scary.

When he lowers me down his front slowly, I stumble forward as I regain some footing under my feet, whipping around and breathing hard. I don’t even hear the swoosh of my money shot.

Only managing to choke out a strangled “I gotta go!” before ripping up the stairs, through the doorway, into the chilly November night.

Leaning my head back against the teacher’s bathroom door, my mind flashes back to the night on Halloween, bits of conversation reverberating in my head. “Not relationship material. Hot teacher. Catholic girl. Golden Retriever. Easy lay.”

I go back in history to all the times I’ve found myself curled into a ball on the floor of my bathroom, my living room, my kitchen, in my bed. Crying so hard that no sounds left my mouth, all the pain in my chest making it hard to breathe.

I knock my head backwards into the door once, frustrated.

I’m just too broken. Damaged goods.

I wait for what feels like hours but is probably just a few minutes before turning off the lights and heading home.

----------

[ FM ]

‘Shit. You overstepped. You made her feel uncomfortable. Unsafe.’ I want to slap my stupid-ass self as I watch the doors close after her. ‘It seemed like she was having fun, what happened? Should I go after her? Does she want me to?’ After a long while I put the basketball where it belongs, turn off the lights and leave the gym in search for her. I have no idea where to look and if she even wants to be found, but the thought of me causing her pain sends me running through the dark school anyway. I stop to listen for sounds several times, but everything’s deadly quiet. I can’t find her.

Shit.

Don’t Go Running Off Into Danger, Even If I Do pt 3

Hek. I woke up today and found that my FNP phic has 41 notes and my DGROIDEIID phic is gaining attention and reblogs; holy shit. And I woke up at noon. It’s Saturday. I sleep in on such days. Anyways. Last I checked, Val and Danny were gonna go get Dani, but we need some Dip and Mabs action cause I forgot last night. I will probably develop an uploading schedule later. For now, just have random updates. I might even make a side blog for this shit.

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Chapter 3

Dipper stood off in the background as Danny got into an argument with a dracula ghost. By the amount of times he heard Plasmius, this must’ve been Vlad. Danny looked pissed when he finished. He still took Dipper and Mabel to their classes, but when they tried to find him at lunch, he was absent.  “I wonder where he is?” Mabel pondered.  “I’m sure he just had something to do,” Dipper replied. Some guy walked up to their table.  “Hey, you’re the kids Fenton is touring. Listen, he’s Phantom and I have proof!”  “And you are?” Mabel said patiently. “Wes Weston. Listen, you gotta believe me!” “We legit just moved here, we have no clue what you’re talking about. Leave us alone,” Dipper said. Wes looked taken aback.  “Fine! Fenton better worry. I will expose him. I just need more proof,” Wes stalked off. Dipper and Mabel exchanged a look.  “Should we be worried?” He asked Mabel. “He seems to have it under control,” 

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Danny stared off into the daylight as they flew. Val set down.  “Come on. She’s fine. Why are you losing it?” “Just a certain Wisconsin Ghost told me about you keeping her,” “Vlad?” “Wait, you know?” “I’ve known since I met Dani,” “Jeez. I’ve known since I met the guy during my parents college reunion. I’m still pissed at him for that whole invisble wall fiasco,” “That was him?” “Yeah. I mean, I started it, but he kept trying to get in my mom’s pants. I needed to put him down a peg,” “You made his wall invisble!?” “Yeah. But it’s not like being naked on camera is going to tell the public any secrets,” “I’m confused. Why do care so much?” “It’s nothing,” Danny grunted. They were headed to the basement. “It seems to be something,” “I have things I’d prefer not to reveal to the entire school,” “No one saw your dick. You managed to catch it in time,” Val was confused. Danny laughed.  “Hey Val. Why would a guy have a female clone? Oh right. I forgot to tell you. Dani is more or less my clone because Vlad was being extra creepy,” “Weird. So she isn’t your cousin. Wait. OH MY GOD! Danny, I understand completely. If Dash knew, you’d be dead meat,” Val caught on quickly. Danny couldn’t but laugh at the dead meat. “Hey! What’s funny?” “I am dead meat Val!” “I’m an idiot. Anyways, we’re here,” She opened the basement door. Dani was sitting on the couch.  “Danny? Val? What’re you guys doing here. Shit, sorry Danny,” “It’s fine. She knows,”  “Who else knows anyways?” Val said.  “You, Jazz, Tucker, Sam and literally all the ghosts,” “Vlad included?” “Vlad included,” “And Amity Park can’t connect the dots?” “No one knows Danny Phantom has a human life. I’d be seriously pissed if someone told the general public,” “That’s fair. Anyways. We’re here because a certain Dracula cosplayer told Danny you were in danger,” Val said. Danny snorted. “Dracula cosplayer? I have to use that on him,” “Why would anyone think that’s a good look?”  “My ‘dad’,” Dani said. Thus causing both her and Danny to break out in laughter. “Where does the whole cousin thing come in?” Val asked. “My ‘Unkie Vlad’. It’s his way of making me family,” “Unkie?” Val looked lost. “I like being a little bitch to him,” “He deserves it! You should expose him,” “If I expose Plasmius, Masters exposes Phantom,” “Oh jeez,” “And there is a very good reason not to expose Phantom. And they wear way too much white,” Dani said quietly.  “I’d prefer not to get dissected,” Danny said haughtily. “They already want to,” Val made a noise of disgust.  “How could anyone with a set of morals do that?” “Heh. I’m a ghost. Not really real to most of the world. I don’t have feelings. Don’t feel pain,” Danny repeated what the ghost hunters had told him way too many times.  “That sounds awful, but we should get back to school. Cya Dani!” Val waved and put on her helmet.  “Hey, wanna leave the quick way?” “What do you mea- AAAAAAAH!” Val screamed as Danny made them both go intangible and up through the roof. “Never. Do that again,” “Hey, at least you didn’t end up going through the table and random floors and get banned from handling anything fragile,” “I’m confused,” “When these powers first came in, I was stuck dropping everything. From my pants to beakers,” “Oh jeez. So, why aren’t nerd and nerdette with you?” “Tucker had to go see a doctor out of town and Sam’s mom took her to this convention thing. They’ll be back tomorrow,”  “No comment on the nicknames?” “They’ve been called worse,” Danny shrugged. “And I’ve been shoved in way too many lockers to care,” “I have one last question. Why on earth would you try to date me when I was trying to kill you? And why did you destroy the suit when I could’ve been inside?” “That’s two questions. But Fenton and Phantom needed a distinction, and I knew you weren’t inside. Technus was controlling the suit,” “You are a mystery,” “I’d like to keep it that way,” “You won’t tell anyone my secret if I don’t tell anyone both of yours?” “That makes it sound like you’re going to tell one of them,” “That’s not what I meant,” “We need to come up with an excuse as to why The Red Huntress suddenly has a truce with Phantom,” “Later. I need coffee,” “I couldn’t agree more,” The plume of blue air showed up. “OH COME ON!” “What,” “I have to deal with something,” Danny sped off. 

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Dipper and Mabel looked at the chaos in the caf.  “Students! Hide under tables! Ghost Hunters and/or Phantom will be here soon,” Mr Lancer yelled into a megaphone. “Already here!” Someone yelled. A flash of white said Phantom. There was blue ghost throwing boxes around.  “I am the BOX GHOST!” It yelled. “Yeah, we know. Just say it already,” “I will win this fight with boxes of... spoons! BEWARE!” “Don’t you know not to bring a spoon to a knife fight?” “You do not have a knife!” “No, but I do have a thermos!” Phantom pulled out a green and grey thermos and flipped the lid.  “I will not stay in your cylindrical object!”  “Looks like you’re gonna have to,” Phantom pressed a button and a beam of light came out of the thermos and sucked the Box Ghost inside. “Is everyone okay?” Kids pushed out from under the tables.  “Phantom! Will you sign my book?” Dash said. This must be a cruel joke.  “Ghost boy! The Fenton Peeler is back in action,” “Whoops, gotta go!” Phantom dashed off as Jack and Maddie Fenton came rushing in. “Darn it. Missed him again,” They ran off. Danny walked into the caf and ran over to them. “You guys are lucky that your first ghost attack was the Box Ghost. Harmless,” “Doesn’t look very harmless to me! That’s gotta’ve been at least a level 5,” Dipper opened the journal. “Nah. Box is a solid 2. Hardly a step up from an ectopus. Might get concerned if Desiree shows up. She’s a level 5,” “What’re you?” “We more or less tested it. Pretty sure I’m a 7,” “That means they aren’t a big concern to you most days,” “Mmm. King Pariah was a level 10. That was terrifying. Vlad’s an 8. Convinced he’s a 9,”  “Okay,” “Skulker gets to be a 6 on a technicality. Without the suit, he’s a 1. He can be an 8 on a bad day. I think Frostbite is a 9. He won’t bother you guys though. Dan must’ve been a 9, but I’m not going into that. Technus is an 8, but can be a 10 if he gets his hands on the right tech. Clockwork is an 11, which technically doesn’t exsist, but Clockwork breaks the mold. He won’t bother you unless you end up destroying the world in the future,” Danny shivered.  “Who’s Dan?” Mabel looked confused.  “Nobody. Just a horrible way to learn not to cheat on tests,” Danny shivered again. “But that’s not important. I didn’t cheat on the CAT,” “Your life seems more hectic than Gravity Falls sometimes,” Dipper said. “Where is that? I’ve never heard of it,” “Oregan. Never Mind All That,” He knew the rules. “You know, the way you say that is kinda creepy,” “We’d be breaking the law if we told you why,”  “Jesus. Well, it’s not like we’ll get another Pariah unless an idiot thinks it’s a good idea. He’ll never get his hands on the crown of Fire,”  “Time Out,” Dipper and Mabel looked around.  “Umm, CW, why aren’t they out with everyone else?” “They’ve met Cipher. At this point, I cannot pause time for them,”  “Eh, whatever. Mason, Mabel, this is Clockwork. What’d you need?” “I actually came to speak to you about the Crown of Fire. In defeating Pariah, you gained ownership,” “I, uh, did what now?”  “Gained ownership of the Crown. Though in your case, it would be the Crown of Ice,” Clockwork repeated. Danny looked lost.  “I don’t need to be the King of the Ghost Zone,” “Someone must take the place. It’s your duty,” Danny looked like he was about to have a full on panic attack.  “Can it wait?” “Two years is a long wait as is,” “B-but it went thousands of years before!” “Because they failed to remove the crown and it wasn’t a singular person,”  “What’s two years in the Ghost Zone? As far as I’m concerned, that doesn’t seem like a long time. Walker was gonna give me a thousand year prison sentence,”  “You get some time, but I’ll tell you, if you take the crown, the Ghost Zone enters an era of peace unprecedented,”  “Danny, what’s happening,” Mabel asked. Danny snapped and started hyperventilating.  “I can’t. No. Why? I just wanted to keep the world safe! Is that too much to ask?” “Daniel, you do get time to think about it. Just remember, time can pass however fast or slow I want it too,” “Right, of course. Cya CW,”  “Time In,”

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Danny trudged home. Exhaustion and anxiety gripped him. Mason and Mabel had been concerned, but he wasn’t about to explain everything. He’d talk to Sam and Tucker tomorrow. It didn’t help that he’d had gym after lunch. At least there wasn’t any more disappearing walls.  “Danny! How was school?” Mom asked as he walked in the door.  “Great!” Danny said and rushed upstairs. He’d deal with The Box Ghost in a minute. Jazz stood in his doorway. She didn’t know about Dan, but she did know about Pariah. “Danny, is everything okay?” “No, everything is not okay!” “What happened? Is it Dash again? We should report him,” “It’s not just that. You remember the Pariah incident?” “Yeah, you don’t just forget that,” “Well, turns out that by beating him, I ‘gained ownership’ to the crown,” “That doesn’t sound bad exactly,” “It’s horrible!”  “How?” “I just wanna be a kid, ya know? It’s hard enough living a double life, but ruling the Ghost Zone? I’d have no chance to do anything remotely useful in the human world,” “You wouldn’t need to. If you ruled the Ghost Zone, ghosts wouldn’t come here anymore,” “The King can’t enforce rules in the Human World. It’s just scary,” 

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Aight, that’s a chapter, I guess. The ideas tend to come from random places, and my brain is running out of ideas. I need to do another “planning session” which is coming up with scenarios in my head to make sure they make sense.

A Man On Fire - Chapter 61

With her legs shaking, she walked down the stairs, money was running a little too low again to keep ordering in, going out and getting groceries was cheaper, the only problem was that she hadn't really gone out for what? Days? Weeks? Ok, here you go, she pulled open the door and slowly stepped out onto the pavement where she was nearly run over by a guy on a bike. Hello New York, she rolled her eyes and carefully went on her way to the local supermarket, it was freezing but the sun was out, normally this would be her kind of weather, but being a bit undercome, right now it only gave her a headache. Stop moping, just keep walking, get your muscles going again and enjoy doing something brainless and totally simple, the only thing you have to do is make a choice in groceries. The supermarket was crowded and noisy and for a second she hesitated, maybe she should do this another time, no, just go in and let yourself get human again, she took a shopping basket and started her round, fresh vegetables, fruit, water, bread, vitamines were on the menu of priorities. Slowly she walked through the aisles, loading up her basket she started to make her way to the check-out, “hello Miss, haven't seen you in a while, how was Europe?” the cashier who she always had a little chat with every time she came here smiled at her. And just like that, the wind was knocked out of her “uhmm, fine yeah” what else was she supposed to say? My lover dragged me across Europe, cheating on me without me knowing and having a good laugh about it?. “It must be so nice to have such a famous man in your life, I saw some pictures of you two..I follow his instagram you see..” Ok enough, she quickly pushed all her purchases in her carrier bags “what's the damage?” she quickly cut her off and didn't wait for her answer, swiping her card through the machine. Out of breath and on the verge of hyperventilating she stumbled out of the supermarket and back onto the pavement, there was no escaping him, she could run from him all she could, but she couln't outrun social media and his followers while all she wanted was to disappear from view and get her anonymity back.

What time was it in NY? Would she be up yet? Oh come on, think Jared, you're in LA, ok hours earlier in NY right? Oh fuck it, he tapped on her number and held the phone to his ear, he could actually hear the blood pump through his head. “You've reached Harper's voicemail, please leave a message after the beep”, goddamn voicemail “Hey babe..it's me..again..I wanted to wish you a happy birthday..I just wish I was there with you..but..anyway, I wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you..and I love you..very much..please forgive me..so..happy birthday honey..I love you” he breathed and slowly disconnected the call. That's when it got too much for him, he sank down on a chair at his kitchen counter and cried his eyes out,  on the other side of the country, Harper stepped down from her scaffolding to wash out some brushes, a little break, she had been going for hours and she was hungry, on her way to the kitchen she turned the heating up a few notches and held her cold hands above the heating, they were cramping up and she wanted to keep going tonight. She sat down with a glass of wine and her cupcake that she had saved, 'happy birthday to me' she sadly smiled and slowly took a bite from the sweet treat, her eyes drifted over her kitchen, she needed to do dishes soon..her phone..leave it..but like a magnet she reached for the device, ignore the mails..she took another bite of her cake and let the phone vibrate back to life..maybe take some pictures of the progress on her paintings. What the..once again her screen piled up with notifications..her voicemail was full? Great, start deleting then..but she must have pushed a wrong button because suddenly Jared's voice drifted through the room on speaker “Hey babe..it's me..again..I wanted to wish you a happy birthday..I just wish I was there with you..but..anyway, I wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you..and I love you..very much..please forgive me..so..happy birthday honey..I love you”. She nearly choked as her throat went completely dry and painful, tears bubbling up in her eyes..he remembered..stupid fuck..so saying happy birthday was gonna make it all better? Fuck you, Jared..the only way to stop him is to reply..just not now..there's more important things at hand like finishing a couple of paintings.

It's pointless so stop checking your phone, he put it down but then there was a bleep, her bleep and his breath got stuck in his throat

From: HCDeRobiano

To: BJLCubbins

Subject: stop

Jared,

stop blowing up my phone, I'm not interested in this huge charm operation, I can't handle it.

You did what you did, so there's nothing to talk about anymore.

Leave me alone, ok? Let my heart heal, I'm done with having you splatter it over the floor and me having to scrape it back together, even telling you this is probably causing you to have to biggest gloating session ever witnessed because that's how you roll isn't it?

And that was a rhetorical question, so in case you don't know what that is: I don't need an answer, so kindly refrain from mocking me and driving the knife in even deeper.

Harper

Fuck..his stomach plummeted in his chest and dark spots danced in front of his eyes, no..babe please..what did I expect though? She's over me, she's over..US..I can't go on like this, I just can't..I'm never gonna see you again, am I? Harper Coco De Robiano d'Arby, this just can't be true.

“Hey, wanna come and help unload the Christmas tree? Mom's just arrived, it's huge” Shannon waltzed inside the kitchen, stopping in his tracks when he saw his baby brother sitting there with his face buried in his arms. “What's going on?” he sat down next to him and saw the phone still clutched in his hand “Harper?” stupid question, who else could bring him down like this? He'd seen his share of Jared's breakups, but this one? Oh no, he'd never seen him in this state, he was actually suffering. Jared slowly raised his head and shrugged, he couldn't talk, couldn't get himself to actually say something, what was there left to say? “OK, I get it..all the more reason to stop moping and come help us decorate that damn tree, it'll take your mind of things, and if that doesn't work then we can always go out afterwards and drink ourselves into a stupor? See, I'm full of brilliant ideas, so come on”

”So she actually replied”? Shannon was surprised to see him nod, the flames in the fire basket at the back of the garden lit up the lines on Jared's face, “yeah..she hates..no she loathes me, doesn't want to have anything to do with me” his lips turned to the thinnest line while he stared into the fire, lost in his thoughts. “Maybe she feels a bit..overwhelmed by your calls and stuff..give her a little time” he was running out of things to say, “how much time and how much space can I give her? I haven't seen or spoke to her in weeks..it's her birthday and..just the thought that she has to spend it on her own is killing me”. Jared ran his hand over his face “we'll never even get a first Christmas together”, that's when the light in Shannon's head popped on “but we're in New York then..you could go see her” he hopefully raised his eyebrows like he had found the ultimate solution. “NO!!” Jared shot up out of his seat like he was stung by a bee “forget it, I'm not going over there..I can't handle her rejection again, no, no way, no fuckin' way!” his chair toppled over as he ended the conversation by stomping back over to the house.

Harper yawned over her cup of coffee, she didn't get much sleep after what happened yesterday, no don't think about it, block it from your mind, her eye fell on the small pile of post that she had dropped on the kitchen counter after her daily walk to the bakery. Slowly she started rummaging through it, bills, bills, just when she was about to push it away again, there was a beautiful envelope with a swirly handwriting, bitten with curiosity she carefully opened it. It was a personal invitation from the owner of the biggest and most renowned art gallery of New York inviting her to his Christmas dinner/party, every year she would stare at the pictures of the same most exclusive party in glossy magazines. She kept reading as the letter was completely personalized, saying that he saw her work on Instagram and that he was looking forward to meeting her and talk about the future..whatwhatwhat? She had to re-read that last line to make absolutely sure she didn't read that wrong. Oh god, should I actually go? I don't know anyone there and going over there alone, stressssss..she took a deep breath, fuck it Harper, just go, you get this one big shot to get your work exposed so what if you're alone? Do you really want to spend christmas eve on your own again with chinese take away? Or do you put on a nice dress and get yourself out there and be around colleagues and kindred spirits? You'll meet new people, it'll be a start to move on, move away from everything that had happened, it's just dinner and you love to dance? She took a pen and filled out the rsvp card, licked the envelope, OMG I actually have plans for christmas now..she pushed herself off her chair and crawled on her scaffolding, let's finish this baby, she grinned for the first in a long time, strange how a stupid thing like an invitation could actually put the light on again.

Jared stood in front of the mirror fidgeting with that stupid bow tie, “Jared? You ready? The car is waiting” Shayla hammered on the door, sighing he walked over and yanked it open, “I would be if you would fix this bloody thing around my neck” he growled at her. Rolling her eyes she pushed him back inside the room and slowly started to tie the fabric in the right way, plucking it a little “there, you look..really handsome” as she admired her work. “Thanks” he whispered, but he knew she was lying when he looked in the mirror again, his long hair was tied back in a low messy bun and he was wearing a designer tux and on the outside none of this pain and heartache was visible except for a few extra lines on his face, but inside..he felt so empty and broken. Come on, you can do this, it's just dinner and a party, the usual small talk with friends and people he vaguely remembered from last year, pretending to be happy and alright..it's just a couple of hours, not the rest of your life. He buttoned up his jacket and nodded “let's go” before he followed her out of the room, outside it had started snowing really hard and still this big city was as loud and buzzing as ever, an umbrella was popped open above his head and he was escorted to the waiting car. Harper stood in front of the huge window and saw the cab pull up in front of her building, ok, have I got everything, purse, phone for calling a cab later on, money, credit card, cigarettes, all there, she closed her purse, quickly checked her outfit and ran out the door.

A better life (Chapter 15, Avengers x reader)

ay hi here’s chapter 15, will post 16 on the 2nd of February, i’ve got a lot of projects for school that i need to get done by the end of the month

at this point i have even less idea of what i’m doing than i did when i started this series, but like, technically, this is my fic and i get to do what i want, but i just don’t want to disappoint any of you, and i’m trying to bring it to a close soon, and i haven’t forgotten about the anon who asked me to write a thing and i will be starting that soon, sorry for the wait, i have reasons that i won’t go into detail unless anyone asks

i hope you enjoy this, cause i really like Tony Stark and also Peter Parker so like, obviously there’s gonna be a lot of them everywhere,, please like and reblog and comment and stuff like that, feel free to tell me what you liked or didn’t really like, i wanna know what you guys enjoy reading

tw for this: panic attack (from being touched on the shoulder)

_______

Chapter 15:

When you woke up from yet another nightmare, which you remembered better than the others, you just couldn’t go back to sleep. It was impossible. You’d been trying for half an hour, your frustration with yourself increasing from not being able to just get over it and move on with your life. It was about 5am at that point, and the sun would be rising pretty soon.

*I’m.. gonna go for a walk*, you decided. Maybe it would help. Hopefully. Maybe instead of walking in circles in your head, you could do that, but around the building. Just a few times, to clear your head. Inhale the air of the early morning, while barely anyone else was outside.

You got dressed and quietly headed through the hallway and the common room, finding yourself in front of the lift seconds later.

On your way out, you heard some snoring. You went to check where it came from, and it turned out Tony was still on the couch. He must’ve been really exhausted. Now, there was a plate of food and an empty mug standing on the table in front of him, so at least he’d woken up and had some food before going back to sleep.

You left the building. On your way back, after turning in circles around it a few times, you settled down on a comfortable bench. You inhaled deeply as the sun rose on the horizon. Half an hour later, watching the sky change colours as the giant star slowly continued its path in it, you decided to go back inside. You did have work later today, and you were receiving your paycheque, so you thought it might be good for you to try and get another hour of sleep before the day actually began.

When you got back, Tony was up, walking around in the common room. You greeted each other, and though he was confused as to why you had been outside at such an early time and really wanted the details, you asked if you could explain later. Thankfully, he accepted to wait.

You managed to get a bit of extra sleep before having to go off to work. While on lunch break, you did the same thing as you did the day before: you took some of your other belongings, and kept them in the luggage at work only to bring them back to the room you had in the Stark Tower when you got off work. During your shift, things went pretty well, but there was a few more difficult customers than usually, and by the time it was over, you couldn’t wait to get back to your room, lie back in your bed, and relax. 

Though you were tired, you really wanted to hang out with Peter again for a while, maybe play some video games again since you both enjoyed it so much. So you texted him, and found out he was free the rest of the day. He was going to come by anyway, and you decided to meet in the computer room where you had met.

Maybe twenty-five minutes later, the two of you were already sitting together in the couch, playing a game you had suggested. He seemed to be really enjoying himself. He was also talking a lot about MJ again, which warmed your heart. You were reminded of how happy she made him, so you asked questions about them, to which he happily responded. After a while, he excused himself to the bathroom.

Minutes were beginning to feel like hours, maybe even days, but somehow, you managed to fall asleep in the small window of time Peter was away.

You woke up hours later, and he sat next to you. There was a blanket on you, undoubtedly placed there by Peter, which you were thankful for: the room did get a bit chilly at times because of the air conditioning in summer.

You yawned, covering your face with your hand, and briefly stretched.

“Hey, Y/N.”

“Oh, hey. Thank you”, you gestured vaguely at the blanket.

He nodded. 

“Rough day?”

“Eh, I suppose. Got screamed at by some customers. It was wild.”

“Oh?” He looked a bit worried, but there was also a “wtf” look on his face. 

“One was mad that her sandwich had a tomato slice. Normally this would be okay, and we would remove the slice, or we could make a new sandwich so the tomato wouldn’t touch it, but she immediately went off at me for it, even though the sandwich was pre-made. Not to mention, it visibly had a tomato in it. She demanded to speak to my manager, and when I brought him over, they talked and she stormed out of the shop. Another customer caused a scene because he “wanted one large fry, not a ton of fucking small ones.” And another one was mad because he spilled his own coffee this morning. He began screaming about it. He spilled it outside. The biggest problem? He bought it at a shop that was literally half an hour away from hours. He demanded a refund and a new drink because he’s a busy man and doesn’t want to spend more money than necessary.”

“Damn”, he muttered in disbelief.

“Yup. I tell you, I was this close to crying because of this shit. Like, this makes no sense, you know? A single big fry instead of a ton of little ones? Does he think we sell a fry the size of a dozen potatoes?”

“That really sucks. I’m sorry you had to deal with that. Honestly, though, I would eat that.” He chuckled.

You nodded in agreement, and shortly went back to playing video games for a bit longer, since he soon had to go back home.

When he left, you decided to go back to your room. You sent a message to your mother, telling her everything was fine and all that, just to get her off your back in case she was thinking of calling you.

As you stepped out of the lift, you spotted Wanda and Pietro playfully pushing each other around in a couch, and Tony and Clint drinking coffee and having a conversation at the table. Natasha was nowhere to be seen, but James Rhodes and Sam Wilson were chilling near Tony. You quietly walked over to the hallway before someone’s hand landed on your shoulder, gripping it. You grabbed the hand, feeling like you were suddenly full of dread, and threw it off, turned around, instinctively and quickly backing away. Your heart was racing, your breathing going faster than it was supposed to, and the things around you became slightly blurry, to the point of having to lean on the wall to not lose balance and fall down.

All you saw in front of you was a blurred figure of a person, and long hair the colour of fire. *Wanda.* 

“Hey, shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. Are you okay? It’s just me. I won’t hurt you. It’s okay.”

In your confused and scared state, you were frantically looking for an escape route that didn’t involve being in front of people; you were trying to find your room. You were really trying to calm down though, but knowing that Wanda felt something was off the day before when you had a bad flashback, you wanted to leave immediately: you didn’t want her to know what was going on. She’d probably been through worse. It was fine. *She doesn’t need to know, Y/N.*

“Y/N, it’s okay. I get it if you don’t want to talk about whatever it is that’s making you feel bad. I’m really not sure what to do in this situation.. Do you want me to get Stark?” She seemed pretty uneasy and stressed out. 

You nodded and weakly mumbled a thanks to Wanda. She left in a hurry, and you sat down on the floor, hugging your knees, trying not to hyperventilate more than you already were. You closed your eyes, trying to remind yourself that you weren’t anywhere near your mother, that no one here would hurt you, that you were safe. It wasn’t working. You could still feel the hand gripping your shoulder, and you kept trying to scratch the touch off, not even noticing the stinging pain in your shoulder from scratching it so much though you were wearing a hoodie.

You heard a deep muffled voice say something from the common room, and footsteps were coming closer, going faster and faster, practically running.

Seconds later, Tony was sitting in front of you, talking to you, trying to get you to breathe, reminding you of the time you should be taking to inhale and exhale. He kept talking to you for a few more minutes, telling you that you were going to be okay, that you’re safe here. He sat with you until you could breathe properly and form coherent sentences again.

“Kid, I’ve got you, alright? What happened?” 

You were still having trouble making eye contact, but you could tell just by the tone of his voice that he was worried.

“Uh.. Wanda, she, um.. grabbed my shoulder. And um, I.. I panicked? Yeah.”

“Alright. It’s okay, I’ll ask her and anyone else not to grab you or touch you without warning, alright? Would that be good?”

“Yeah.. thank you, mister Stark. I’m sorry, I, uh, I.. I didn’t mean to.”

“I know. It’s okay. It happens to me too. It’s understandable that it happens to you, after what you told me. It’s okay, you’re safe here. You’ll never have to return there, soon.”

You nodded and closed your eyes, taking some more time to focus on your breathing, trying to match it to his as an example of normal, not-having-a-panic-attack breathing. Having him there, right beside you, was really comforting.

After a few minutes, everything was back to normal again, though you were more exhausted than before.

“You’re safe”, Tony said, with a soft expression on his face. “It’s alright.” He stayed quiet for a minute. “I’m guessing you’ll be wanting to go to your room?” He smiled softly.

You mumbled a soft “yeah”, and he walked with you until you reached your room. He left when you thanked him with a small smile and closed the door behind you.

*I definitely need a nap.*

You lied in bed for less than half an hour before falling asleep.

little do you know, chapter 18; i love you

Fact: “The brain treats rejection like physical pain.”

previous chapters + drabbles

Mona was running on autopilot.

She was awake but wasn’t thinking of anything, simply going through the motions of her morning routine.

They were back in New York. As soon as they had landed, she felt the bitter taste of reality flood her mouth when Niall kissed her the moment no one was looking. She’d only just tossed her luggage to a corner of her room and collapsed face down into her bed when he’d texted her, asking her to go over to his room for a cuddle. After spending the last few days sharing a bed with him, it was all she really wanted to do, if she was being honest with herself. But then, the jitters came back, she’d made up some excuse of being too tired to move from her bed, and they’d sort of left it at that.

Now, she was mindlessly pulling on a cardigan, gathering her things into her bag and throwing it over her shoulder. She didn’t know where she was going yet, but all she really wanted was to get away, to find some place quiet to just think and make sense of all the emotions coursing through her exhausted body at the moment.

Their last few hours in Vegas had been quite uneventful. At least nothing happened that Mona could remember because she’d been too busy working herself up into a panic. After bringing herself to a somewhat calm state after spending who knows how long hyperventilating in the shower, she got dressed and headed to Zayn’s room. Harlow had been the one to open the door because he had apparently gone out in search of some snacks, but Mona didn’t need him to get what she wanted anyway. She simply dug through the front pocket of his case to find the pack of cigarettes and his spare lighter, taking one cig from the box before scurrying out, ignoring Harlow’s questioning looks.

She couldn’t remember her feet taking her anywhere, but when she’d regained focus again, she’d realized she made her way outside to the back of the building, her spine pressing against the cool brick exterior as she sunk down to the floor. Smoking wasn’t really her thing, but she brought the cigarette to her lips anyway, wondering to herself how she even got there. Her hands shook too much to light it, but once she’d gotten it going, she’d taken one pull only to realize that it was a big mistake. The smoke that filled her lungs only sent her body into panic mode again, and she found herself furiously wiping away her tears as she sat there, on the dingy back alley of the hotel, surrounded by smoke.

She didn’t even know why this was happening. Why was it so hard to picture herself happy with Niall? Why was she so afraid of just telling him how she felt? That maybe there might even be a shred of a chance that he could feel the same?

So, she had issues.

Now, she found herself in her favorite back corner of the library. There was never anyone there and she was always guaranteed a few hours of pure silence at her table. She didn’t know how long she sat there, with her books spread out in front of her, not taking in a single word, but that spot of the library had remained as empty as ever, not even a librarian drifting by to re-shelve books. And she was glad for it.

Until…

“Knew I’d find ya here,” came a familiar brogue murmuring into her ear. She flinched, only to realize he’d had his baseball mitt hands on her shoulders. He chuckled at her reaction, pressing a light kiss to her cheek and pulling up a seat beside her; she was acutely aware of the cold spots on her shoulders where his hands were, his warmth slowly dissipating from her skin. Before she could even catch her bearings, he had taken his seat and was already leaning in, pressing the sweetest and softest of kisses to her lips, the sunshine from his smile seeping into her bloodstream. “Hi,” he mumbled, lips brushing against the corner of her mouth.

When he pulled back, she felt like she was being yanked from a dream. “Hi,” she breathed back, unable to stop the way her fingers started to tremble, unable to stop the way her heart rate skyrocketed. She had to do it. She had to end it.

Niall leaned back into his chair, skin glowing and eyes glimmering and Mona could feel herself faltering. She was such a goner for him. “I came by last night for that cuddle but Harlow said you’d already fallen asleep.” He smiled sweetly, and the way he did it made him look boyish and charming. Mona felt guilt crawling up her windpipes because that wasn’t true, she’d simply pretended to sleep when Harlow came in to check on her. “Didn’t wanna bother you but I think I’ve gotten so used to you being in bed with me that it was hard to fall asleep.”

Mona had to bite back the smile that threatened to break through at that, had to tamp down the hope that started to flutter around in the pit of her stomach. She really hated when he said things like that because it made it difficult to determine where she truly stood with him. “Sorry.” She couldn’t help the way she sounded a bit defeated. “Traveling makes me crazy tired.”

Niall grinned, reaching forward to brush strands of her hair that had fallen out of her haphazard bun away from her face, tucking them behind her ear. “Yeah. I know.” She sighed inwardly. Here she was, with this gorgeous boy who always murmured sweet nothings into her skin, who kissed her so gently, who she loved with all her heart, and she couldn’t even tell him how she felt, and she couldn’t even begin to think herself as worthy of him.

She’d been so lost in her thoughts that she wasn’t sure how it happened, but somehow, Niall had thrown an arm across the back of her chair, the warmth radiating from beneath his jumper pressing into her skin. He was leaning in, eyes already fluttered shut, lips parted slightly, and every one of her instincts had her leaning forward too. It hadn’t even been that long but, oh, how she craved his kiss. She wanted more. She always wanted more.

And yet, something lit up in her head. Something that had her hand pressing against his chest, pushing as she curled her feet into the legs of the chair and slid herself backwards, as far away as she could get from that warmth. “Stop,” she croaked, and when she managed to open her eyes, Niall was watching her in concern, already moving forward to comfort her obvious hurt, and again, she moved away.

“What’s wrong, darlin’?” His bright blue eyes were so wide and honest and lovely, but Mona couldn’t help but physically cringe at the nickname. He reached for her hand which was still sitting limply on the surface of the table and she pulled it away, averting her eyes so she didn’t have to watch whatever look he’d just pulled.

Mona could feel herself beginning to hyperventilate. She’d bottled and bottled her feelings and now they felt like they were about to explode and there was nothing she could do to stop it. “I need to tell you something,” she blurted out. Her heart was beating ten times faster than normal and she almost wondered if this was what cardiac arrest felt like.

Niall’s eyes widened. “Me too.” Now he actually looked a little nervous. “It’s why I came to find you actually…it’s, uh. It’s kind of urgent.”

She nodded. He should probably go first anyway. It would buy her time to try and figure out how exactly she wanted to tell him that she didn’t want to be his friend with benefits anymore—because god knows that is an awkward conversation.

But Niall motioned for her to go first and she really didn’t want to do that so she decided to just wait. Maybe he would take the hint and go ahead and say what he had to say.

The silence stretched miles between them. All Mona could hear was the thump thump thump of her heart in her ears and she started to feel nauseous, just like that night at Connemara’s. Her body was warning her of something, something bad, and all she could do was sit there and wait for it.

She couldn’t take it anymore. She needed to end this. It hurt so much, all the time, and she couldn’t live like this anymore, in fear of what Niall was going to say to her, in fear of her feelings. The words came out like word vomit, except it happened to both of them at the same time.

“We can’t do this anymore—”

“—I’m going to Ireland.”

They both paused, watching each other as if they couldn’t believe what came out of the other’s mouth. And in a way, Mona couldn’t believe what he’d just said. He always told her he was never going back. She wondered what had happened to change his mind. “You’re going to Ireland?”

Something flashed in Niall’s eyes, like he was still stuck two minutes in the past. “We can’t do what anymore?”

Niall, again, tried to move closer, reach out, do something to console her sudden mood change, but once more, Mona recoiled. “This,” she gestured vaguely at the library books surrounding them, “this,” gesturing again between the two of them. “Whatever this is. We need to stop.”

Now, when she met his eyes, he looked confused, but guarded in a way that reminded her of when they first truly interacted, at the cabin all those years ago. “What d’you mean?”

Mona huffed, twisting her fingers through the baby hairs at the nape of her neck in frustration. She’d been too distracted to comb it this morning, and her fingers caught in several unruly knots. “What are we doing? Why do we keep doing this to ourselves when it’s obvious that it’s going nowhere, this meaningless relationship?”

She couldn’t keep the exasperation from her voice, and Niall reacted to it like he’d just sustained a blow. “Meaningless?” He scooted his chair closer but didn’t reach out, instead leaning forward and hoping Mona didn’t move away. “Mo, what are you talking about.”

“I—” This was it, she was starting to panic. And there was nothing she could do to stop it. Tremors radiated throughout her entire body and she had to tamp down the nausea by swallowing quickly. “I—” She huffed at herself, angry at the way her cheeks suffused with heat. As tears pricked at her eyes, she really thought she was going to be sick. She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. “I can’t do this anymore. I was fine. Everything was fine. And then you came along and now I can’t stop feeling things and freaking out over every little thing.”

She chanced a glance at Niall only to find him watching her with the most confused look in his eyes, and now a new feeling was crawling through her: stupidity. “Darlin’, I really don’t understand what you’re saying.”

She sunk into her chair, half wishing that it could just swallow her up so she wouldn’t have to have this conversation with him. “I’m saying,” she said, voice level, because she knew she was only a few breaths away from crying, “that I don’t want to have sex with you anymore. Or cuddles or hand holding or sharing beds and kisses or any of it. Because now everything is complicated and my feelings are all over the place and I don’t know where I stand with you or what I am to you and it kills me every single day. So I just want it to all stop.”

She took a deep breath after her ramble, the heat in her face growing down her neck. When she looked at Niall again, something like realization flashed in his eyes. “No,” he breathed, and she really wished he didn’t look at her like that. “Mona, I—you—something is getting mixed up here because that’s not—” He searched her eyes, those bright blue ones looking increasingly…mortified? Terrified? Mona wasn’t sure. “Mo, I like you.”

Mona felt like he’d just slapped her across the face. Her heart completely stopped, which probably explained why she did what she did next, because her brain took over from there. “You’re just saying that because I want to end this thing we have.”

Niall sucked in a breath, moving closer, and she didn’t miss the urgency in his voice. “Mo,” he tried to laugh, like this was all a joke, but it sounded more like a huff, “what are you—I really like you.”

She wanted to scream at him or place her hands on his shoulders and give him a hard shake. Why couldn’t he see what she was trying to tell him? “No you don’t, Niall.”

Now, his eyes blazed. He dragged her chair closer and turned it around so it was facing him, his hands slamming down onto the table top as he blocked off her other side with his legs so she wouldn’t run away. He knew her too well. “How are you going to try and tell me how I feel?” He sounded completely offended, and she felt that stupid instinct to push him away because he was getting too close into those walls she’d so meticulously put up around herself over the years.

“Because I know that you don’t!” She clenched her fingers into a fist and pressed them to her knees, as if that would calm her down. Suddenly, every instance in which she doubted him flashed through her mind, every instance which factored into her deciding that they would never work out together, that he would never feel the way she felt about him. “If you did then why did you buy drinks for that girl in Vegas? Why are you always flirting with girls at Connemara’s? Why did you kiss Cleo?” Those last words ripped out of her. She hadn’t exactly said them out loud before, and she felt like her heart was breaking into even more shreds. As she spoke again, her voice was quiet, broken. “Those aren’t things you do when you like someone else.”

Silence. It was deafening. Niall’s face was pulled into complete shock, and she wondered if hers mirrored it. He opened and closed his mouth for a few moments, mouthing words except no sound would come out. A traitorous tear fell down Mona’s cheek and she angrily wiped it away. She didn’t want to be here anymore. She wanted to go and lock herself in her bedroom and possibly never come out. Finally, he whispered, “You saw that?”

He could’ve been talking about anything. But Mona had the feeling they were finally having the Cleo conversation. That moment in Connemara’s was what kickstarted these tremoring nerves in her, and she would very much like not to have another panic attack over this again. Against her will, her lips started to wobble, and more tears started to spill from her eyes. Her hands shook more than she could even begin to control.

“Mona,” Niall croaked. He looked as if he were about to cry too and she immediately averted her eyes. She couldn’t look at him anymore. “You have to believe me even though I know you don’t want to.” He held both of her hands in his and willed her to meet his eyes. “That meant nothing I swear. I promise. It was just a mistake. I was drunk. Mona, please.” There was a wild and desperate look in the bright blue, and at the sight of it, Mona found her brain becoming even more jumbled. She wasn’t sure what was happening, what she was doing, why she was doing it. All she wanted was to stop her chest from hurting so bad. “Mona, I lov—”

“Don’t say it.” Her voice was hoarse, and again, she snatched her hands away from his grip. Her breath came out in stutters, and it was probably the lack of oxygen that had her brain feeling like it was ready to short-circuit at any moment. She needed to get out of here, away from Niall, so she could just think. Just process her feelings and this situation and think. “Do not say something you don’t mean to me right now. Don’t make this worse than it already is.”

But Niall was adamant. He pulled her chair towards him and grabbed her face between his hands. “Don’t do this,” he whispered, begging. His fingers gently brushed her wild hair away from her eyes and he held her as if she was made of glass. “I know this is a lot and I know that you’re hurt but we can talk about it and it’ll all make sense, I promise.”

She couldn’t. Do. This. She couldn’t breathe. She needed to go away away away, far from Niall, where she could find some oxygen and some quiet and just think. “I don’t want to talk!” she hissed, shoving his hands away, the tears spilling down faster and more frequently, and she was starting to hyperventilate. It felt like the walls of the library were closing in on her. She needed to get out of there. “This hurts, Niall! Can’t you see? This hurts and I can’t do it anymore. It’s too much. Too much.”

“Mona.” But it was too late. She was already grabbing her bag and shoving books back inside of it. A stupid sob left her lips and that was all she needed to spin around on her heel and get out of there. “Mona!” Niall called out after her, but she was already running. Running, between the shelves of books and down the stairs and through the hallway and out the door. Running, all the way down the street and through the little park at the corner and not stopping until she tripped over a branch and had to sit down at a bench to pull splinters out of her hands.

She didn’t know how long she sat there but she vaguely registered her phone blowing up with calls and texts. She didn’t dare look to see who they were from.

It was quite strange. Just a few days ago she was happy and laughing with Harlow’s family in San Francisco, and now, she was sitting here, in New York, wondering how on earth it felt like her life had turned completely upside down since then. She started at her hands, twisting her fingers together as she tried to figure out what to do.

Her mehndi stain was starting to fade. But if she looked closely, she could still make out Niall’s name, swirled intricately into the curves of a flower petal. She remembered Pari’s words as she worked on Mona’s hands with her henna cone— “I know enough about you two to root for you and you’re not gonna let my dreams die.”

Mona gulped. She didn’t know how she was going to tell Pari that there would be nothing to root for now.

Her phone buzzed again, this time with a phone call, and when she looked at it, she was not surprised to see Niall’s contact photo smiling at her. She didn’t know what it was, if it was the breeze lightly tickling her cheeks or the fact that she felt like she probably had nothing more to lose, but she answered it.

“Mo,” Niall rushed out, without waiting for a greeting from her. “Please listen carefully and do not hang up the phone.” She huffed at that. He knew her way too well, but there was a sort of pleading in his voice that kept her hanging on to his every word. “I know you’re upset and you probably have every right to be.” He sounded out of breath, like he had been running somewhere. “It’s been really weird and complicated between us, I know, but…you’re upset because—because—” He huffed, and she heard clattering on his end as if he’d dropped something. “Because you have feelings for me too, right? And you don’t know where we stand.”

She felt her face heat up. She hoped he wasn’t mocking her because that would just have been cruel.

“Mo, you there?” There was a twinge of something like panic in his voice now.

“Yeah,” she got out, her voice hoarse.

“Okay,” he breathed. “Meet me at the place this all began. And I promise this will all make sense and everything will fall into place.” All the background noise stopped, and it sounded as if he’d gone into a building or someplace quiet. “Nothing happened with Cleo and I don’t even feel anything for her like I feel for you but just—just meet me there and I’ll explain everything.”

Mona closed her eyes. There was a lot to unpack in his words and she had no idea where to even start to make sense of it all. Thoughts were whizzing around in her head like crazy, and she was starting to feel a bit scatter brained.

“Mona,” Niall got out when she didn’t say anything, and this time, he sounded desperate. “Please say something? Please?”

But she didn’t know what to say. Her throat was as dry as ever as she gulped a few times, searching for words to string together. But nothing came to mind.

On the other side of the line, wherever he was, Niall sighed. “Okay. If you’re not there by half past five…I’ll consider it that you want nothing else to do with me, and I’ll leave you alone. For good.” She gasped softly. “Please, Mo,” he whispered before he hung up, leaving her alone with her thoughts again.

The sounds of the city surrounded her, honking cars and buses driving past and people walking on the sidewalk talking on their cellphones all melding together to create a collective din she could only associate with New York. But there was only one sound ringing relentlessly in her ears: the sound of Niall’s voice.

If you’re not there by half past five, I’ll consider it that you want nothing else to do with me, and I’ll leave you alone. For good.

Alone for good? Mona’s pulse skyrocketed at the thought. She could hardly even imagine a world without her sunshine boy in it.

Suddenly, she started to walk again. She didn’t know where her feet were taking her. All she knew was that she just needed to move, just needed to have something to do to distract her from her agonizing thoughts. Distantly, she realized that walking around aimlessly would not help her case for long, that she’d need to give Niall an answer by half past five, but all she really wanted at the moment was for her brain to just stop. She needed to be able to get someplace quiet where she could sort out all of her conflicting emotions and make a rational decision.

She rolled her eyes at herself. This should’ve been a no-brainer. Then what was stopping her?

As she passed near the library again, she found her answer.

She was across the street but she could see him as clear as day. He was standing in front of the library doors, carding his fingers through his hair in a way she knew he only did when he was stressed out of his mind. The street was wide, with three lane traffic going in either direction and a median strip for pedestrians in the middle, so she only caught glimpses of him through the moving traffic, but she wondered if there was that telltale flush making its way up his neck.

And then it happened.

A cab stopped in front of the library and out came a familiar head of long blonde hair. Mona recognized Cleo instantly, especially as the cab drove away, her poise and confident stance unmistakable. Niall’s shoulders slumped in what looked like relief at the sight of her, and even from where she was standing across the street, Mona could see the way the corners of his lips curved up slightly as he brought her in for a hug.

Mona felt a swoop in her belly, like she was at the top of a rollercoaster and then she was falling and falling without being able to prepare herself. Numbly, she looked away. She didn’t want to see any more. She didn’t even want to feel anymore. Like she’d been doing a lot lately, she did the one thing she was capable of: she walked away.

How cruel of Niall to ask her to give him a chance and then run right into the arms of Cleo! How foolish he must’ve thought she was! How was he going to run right to Cleo, when this whole issue was because of Cleo?!

Even the crisp April breeze could not cut through the heat she was feeling in her skin, the burn of anger and frustration and embarrassment and heartbreak. This was already hard, why did Niall have to go and make it infinitely more difficult? Why did he have to go and make her feel more than she even wanted to. She hated him in that moment, hated him and his bright blue eyes and his baseball mitt hands and his sickeningly sweet smile.

And then another voice in her head laughed so hard it sounded like a cackle, because even deep in her heart, she knew it wasn’t even possible for her to hate her sunshine boy.

When she finally looked up to try and figure out where exactly she’d ended up while she was lost in her thoughts, she found that she had somehow made it to Connemara’s. She twisted her wrist to check the time on her watch and figured that Jingle might be inside, doing paperwork or getting the place ready for tonight, so she placed a hand on the door and pushed her way inside.

The bells above the door chimed as she walked in, the sound all light and pretty and so unlike how she was feeling at the moment. Just as she was sliding herself up onto a barstool at the counter, Jingle’s orange head of hair appeared as she peered out from the corner to see who had just entered her bar, even though it was clearly closed.

“Oh, Mona,” she got out once she’d realized it was her. She rounded the counter to lock the front door and then made her way back to stand in front of her. “What a surprise.”

Though in Jingle’s perpetually monotone voice, it didn’t really sound like she was surprised at all.

Mona shrugged, at a loss for what to say. “Just stopping by to say hello,” was what she managed to come up with.

In hindsight, she realized that she probably only walked into Connemara’s that day because she knew Jingle, like Zayn, wouldn’t be afraid to call her out on her bullshit. So Mona wasn’t surprised when she scoffed, sending her a wry look through her orange bangs as she made herself comfortable on the high stool behind the counter. “Yeah, you know I don’t believe that so why don’t we just cut to the part where you tell me why you’re upset.”

Mona frowned, unable to keep her lips from wobbling. Even verbalizing it into words seemed painful beyond belief. “Can I have a drink first?” she mumbled into her hand as she slumped into the counter.

Jingle watched her warily, mimicking her pose. “Why don’t you tell me what’s bothering you first and then I’ll see if you deserve a drink.”

This time Mona was the one sending Jingle a look. She hated that everyone knew her so well. After a brief silence, where they both simply stared at one another, willing the other to break down, Mona was the one to sigh through it. Clearly, Jingle wasn’t going to budge. “I basically just broke up with Niall,” was what came out of Mona’s mouth. Obviously, Jingle knew they weren’t together, but that was sure as hell what it felt like, a messy breakup. “A best friend breakup.”

Mona didn’t have to look up to know Jingle was glaring at her. “Now why the hell would you do that? That was dumb.”

Mona groaned, burying her face into the curve of her elbow as she crossed her arms together on the counter. “I didn’t come here to be insulted, Jingle.”

Maybe it was the way her voice came out, all shaky and muffled, but Jingle placed a gentle hand on her arm, coaxing her up. “You know I’d never be anything but honest with you.” Mona looked up to see a rare look of what she could only describe as protective and understanding dawn on Jingle’s face. “So I mean it with love when I say that you’re a fucking dumbass.” Mona rolled her eyes, slumping into her hands again. “C’mon. Tell me what happened.”

So she did. Mona spilled her heart out to Jingle in a way she hadn’t done with anyone else. She described in detail the morning she’d had and why she did what she did, even explaining her deepest emotions and how conflicted she felt over them because of the mixed signals she was receiving from Niall. When she was done, big fat tears were rolling down her face, a pile of tissues overflowing in a bin near her feet, and Jingle slid her a rum and coke for her efforts.

She didn’t know why it was so easy to talk to Jingle. Perhaps it was because she knew that there would be no judgement, that whatever Jingle thought, she’d say it right away. It also helped that she was a good listener, allowing Mona to pour her feelings out onto her bar counter without saying a word.

“You know,” Jingle got out once Mona had downed half of her drink and sapped away all of the lingering tears with a tissue. She seemed lost in thought, stirring her own drink with a straw. “I don’t really know what to say to you,” she said honestly, but really, Mona didn’t mind. She didn’t come here for advice. She just needed someone to talk to. Someone with an unbiased opinion. “Obviously you’re both being stupid in this situation, and I agree that the signals he’s sending you are a little weird, but, I don’t know. I really don’t.”

There was silence for a while, save for Mona sniffling occasionally. She once again thought of Niall’s last words to her on the phone earlier: If you’re not there by half past five, I’ll consider it that you want nothing else to do with me, and I’ll leave you alone. For good.

The ‘for good’ was blinking like strobe lights in her brain. She had wanted this to be as painless as possible. But could that even have happened when their lives were so intertwined as they were?

Finally, Jingle was breaking the silence. “So where did he say he wanted you to meet him again? Are you gonna go?”

“I don’t know,” she huffed. “He just said ‘the place where it all began.’ I don’t even know what that—” But then her thoughts started to run wild. He obviously couldn’t have meant the cabin because that was too far away. But then she realized that he must have been talking about the night she first kissed him. That was when things started to build between them, when dormant feelings started to grow in her chest and she started to notice him more. And that happened at… “The Empire State Building,” she said aloud, her voice a whisper.  

Jingle huffed out a laugh. When Mona looked up at her, her eyes were twinkling, a soft smile on her face. “Well what are you waiting for then?” She gave her an urgent look. “Go and get your boy!”

But Mona simply shook her head. There was something keeping her on this barstool, and as she mulled on it, she realized that it was Cleo. And not only Cleo, it was doubt. She just didn’t believe Niall needed to be with her. She still thought he would be happier with someone like Cleo. Someone with no baggage. “Jingle,” she sighed, “I’m not the one he should be with.” She ignored the resulting groan she received. “You haven’t seen the way he looks at Cleo.”

Jingle rolled her eyes. “No, I haven’t. But I’ve seen the way he looks at you.” When Mona looked up again, Jingle was leaning over the counter, eyes blazing. “Now you listen to me, Mona Shaw. You better get your ass out of my bar and go to Empire State to tell that boy how you feel.” She reached out to place a hand over Mona’s, voice going soft. “Because I promise you, you won’t be disappointed.”

Mona sucked in a breath, willing herself not to cry again. “But—”

Jingle wasn’t having any of it. “You two are made for each other.” She paused, as if turning over her words carefully in her head, and then after a moment, she sighed. “Okay, listen,” she shuffled closer to the counter on her stool, leaning over the counter as if she were telling Mona a secret, despite the fact they were the only two people in the place. When she spoke again, her voice was low and measured. “I’m gonna tell you the same thing I told him one day, when he was in here, on the same stool you’re sitting on right now, with the same look on his face.” Mona didn’t know why, but something about that startled her. “People who are just friends don’t look at each other the way you two do.”

Mona’s mind ran wild. Jingle had this conversation with Niall? When? Why?

If Jingle noticed her shock, she didn’t say anything. Instead, she trudged on. “You two are so lucky to have each other. And I really mean that sincerely.” Mona knew she was telling the truth, because Jingle was looking at her imploringly, her eyes widened in such intense emotion and honesty that Mona felt all the wind get knocked out of her. Because Jingle Connemara was giving her a reality check. One that she didn’t even know she needed. “The way you two look at each other?” she huffed out a laugh, eyes glazed over as she thought of a distant memory, “Reminds me of my parents. And they were in love. This crazy, blinding, passionate, but understanding kind of love. When I was younger, I used to wish I could find a love like they had.”

There was this soft smile on Jingle’s face, and it made her look years younger. So much younger that Mona could imagine her as a small child, without the orange hair and the tattoos and the piercings. She could imagine her smiling and laughing with her parents, having a happy, perfect life. Mona knew that Jingle’s mother had passed away years ago, and that it had been hard on Mr. Connemara. But this new insight into her life had her reeling.

Jingle seemed to catch herself, and when she looked at Mona this time, she was resigned. “What you and Niall have? That’s so special. Please don’t throw that away. You guys make each other better. I mean, can you honestly sit here and say you’re the same person as you were before you met him?” The truth behind Jingle’s words washed over her. Both Mona and Niall were completely different people now compared to a year ago. But was it because of each other? “Because I can tell you that you have completely changed. For the better. Well…minus the last three months or so because then you started to overthink everything.” Mona huffed, and Jingle sent her a look that shut her up again. “You know that you love him, and I’m telling you that he has feelings for you too, though what they are, that’s up to him to tell you. So what exactly is stopping you? Why are you here and not at Empire State where he’s waiting for you?”

Mona took a deep breath, letting out a shuddery exhale. How could she explain to Jingle what she couldn’t even explain to herself? How could she explain to Jingle and Harlow and Zayn and Harry and Liam and Niall—sweet wonderful Niall—that everything she loves somehow gets destroyed?

There was a tear in Jingle’s eyes, and the sight of it had Mona’s lips wobbling again. “Listen to me Mona,” Jingle got out, squeezing her hands, her voice wavering. “If you don’t get the hell out of my bar and catch that train to Empire State right this moment, I am going to fire you.” Mona startled at that, and it was so unexpected and so unironically Jingle that she just couldn’t help but laugh. Jingle chuckled too, and she rounded the counter to press her hands to Mona’s shoulders, gently shoving her in the direction of the door. “You laugh but I mean it! I will fire you! I’m not going to just sit around and watch you ruin the chances of the couple I’ve been silently rooting for for the past year.”

Mona giggled. Her mind suddenly seemed clear with conviction. “Okay, okay, I’m going!” She let Jingle push her all the way to the doorframe before she turned around, brows waggling as she remembered something she’d been wanting to say to her for a while. “By the way…I know about you and Harry.”

Jingle looked stunned for a moment before she started to laugh. Like, really laugh, in a way Mona had never seen before. It was honestly a sight. Her face lit up, orange hair seemingly glowing, and Mona almost wished she’d do that more often. Jingle whipped a hand towel against Mona’s behind, laughing again at the way Mona yelped out the door. “Get the hell out of here, Mona Shaw! Go get your boy!”

And then, for the second time that day, Mona was running. But she was also laughing and breathing easily, hurrying down the streets to get to the subway entrance.

She was going to go get her sunshine boy.

~

4:45 PM.

Mona’s heart was beginning to race. How did time get so far ahead of her?

The trains were experiencing delays, and she was suddenly reminded of how much she loathed public transportation in the city.

She tried texting Niall so he wouldn’t think that she was standing him up, but she didn’t have any signal underground, and she didn’t dare try to run upstairs to get service in case she missed the train. So, she was stuck, anxiously waiting for the train while silently hoping that she’d get to Niall in time.

She found an empty space on a bench and sat, trying to keep her breathing nice and calm. The last thing she wanted was to freak out on the subway. She closed her eyes and counted to ten in her head, timing her breaths to the numbers. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale.

Niall’s words were running on loop in her head and it was driving her insane. “If you’re not there by half past five, I’ll consider it that you want nothing else to do with me, and I’ll leave you alone. For good.”

She glanced at her phone, feeling jittery. 5:00 PM.

Damnit!, she thought to herself, fingers trembling. She didn’t know how the hell she was going to get there in half an hour. She was beginning to brainstorm alternative options when, finally, the train arrived. A sigh of relief left her lips as she hurried into a crowded car.

As the train started to move, she closed her eyes again, starting her counts and breathing accordingly. It’ll all be fine, she tried to tell herself. But her reassurances did little to slow her heartbeats. A terrible feeling started to creep up her windpipes that, for the life of her, she couldn’t shake. She refused to let the negative thoughts cross her mind, hoping with every ounce of her heart that she got there on time.

Niall’s voice echoing ‘for good’ was ringing in her ears and she nearly pressed her hands against the sides of her head to will it to stop. But she caught herself. She couldn’t have a breakdown in the middle of a crowded train, she just couldn’t. That would be a new low, even for her.

By some stroke of luck, the train was at Mona’s stop and she bounded out, glancing at her phone as she exited the subway and made her way to the stairs. 5:20 PM.

She bolted her way up the stairs, not allowing herself to stop, even for a breath. There was still time. There was still hope.

She got all the way up the stairs only for a security guard to stop her, telling her that they were closing off that particular exit due to construction and she’d have to take the other stairwell. Mona groaned, not even bothering to give him a piece of her mind—why the hell didn’t they close off the stairs at the bottom then!—because she needed to go and she was running out of time.

Her fingers desperately clutched her phone, flashing the screen on again as she ran up the other set of stairs. 5:23 PM. She was starting to go crazy.

By the time she made it above ground, she realized it was raining. She didn’t have a hood or an umbrella, but she didn’t care, instead running through the block towards the entrance to the observatory deck. She was running out of time. She was starting to feel Niall slipping through her fingers.

When she finally, finally, got there—5:27 PM—she was being stopped by yet another guard. “I’m sorry, miss, but the observatory deck is closed today.”

“Closed?” she echoed breathlessly. She didn’t wait for him to answer before she was spinning around again, frustratedly running her fingers through her hair which had somehow come undone on her journey. There had to be some mistake. Where did Niall want to meet her then?

Panic was beginning to flare up inside her. She knew for a fact this was the place Niall had meant for her to end up, could feel it in her bones that he was around here somewhere. But where?

5:30 PM. And then the light of the screen of her phone flickered out, the battery drained.

She nearly threw it into the street in her frustration. Her luck was absolute shit today. How on earth was she going to contact Niall now. From the corner of her eye, she spotted a pair of pay phones. One looked as if it were damaged, but the other looked perfectly fine. She dug into the pockets of her jeans and her fingers closed around a few bits of change.

A tiny flicker of hope sparked within her again and she ran towards the pay phone. She was nearly there when she saw him, that familiar head of blond, nearly brown, hair, glasses perched on his nose. “Niall!” she called out, feet immediately taking her towards him. It was pouring now, raindrops seeping into her clothes and drenching her. She wiped away the water from her eyes and continued to run.

He was getting into a cab. No, she thought desperately. Please see me. Please notice me.

“Niall!” she called again, screaming this time. There was a fire burning up her throat, the fear threatening to paralyze her. But still, she continued to run. He couldn’t see her, nor could he hear her, the hustle and bustle of the area blaring all around them. Cars and trucks were honking. Somewhere, a fire truck’s sirens were wailing. Her sunshine boy was slipping away.

She called his name again and again and again but he had already gotten into the cab and it was pulling away from the curb. It felt like she was in a nightmare, but the pain from the stich in her side that she’d gotten from running was telling her that this was very much real life. “No,” she whimpered as the cab weaved through the traffic and drove off, away and out of sight. No.

But she had to face the facts. As her chest burned and the rain soaked her skin, she realized something that would probably haunt her for the rest of her life:

She was too late.

~

Mona didn’t realize she’d gotten back to her apartment complex until she was pressing the button for the elevator.

She felt numb, going through the motions in a daze. Her skin was soaked through from the rain and she was shivering, but none of that seemed to matter.

If you’re not there by half past five, I’ll consider it that you want nothing else to do with me, and I’ll leave you alone. For good.

She was too late. Niall was going to leave her alone. For good.

She didn’t even know how she was breathing through the absolute agony in her chest. Her clothes were dripping onto the floors of the elevator car, and the sound of it was probably the only thing keeping her tethered to reality. As she listened to the methodical drip, drip, drip of the water, all she could think about was Niall and his bright blue eyes and his dazzling smile and how she probably broke his heart today.

When she got to her floor, she headed straight for his apartment, wondering if he made it home. Perhaps he would forget about ‘for good’ and let her explain why she was late and that she nearly caught him before he hurried into his cab. Perhaps he would give her a chance.

No such luck though. Because the person opening the door was not Niall, it was Liam.

Mona would have preferred it if Liam had yelled at her, if he was angry at her, if he insulted her for breaking Niall’s heart. Instead, those big brown eyes reflected utter disappointment, and that hurt her more than anything else.

“Niall?” she asked, voice hoarse. She had wanted to cry but no more tears would come out. Even her body was disappointed in her.

Liam simply shook his head. Now, his expression was drawn in pity. There was something about it that had her swaying on her feet, feeling slightly faint. “I’m really sorry, Mo,” he said quietly, and he sounded so sad. “He said he wanted to be left alone.”

She nodded numbly at him, too shocked from the day’s events to manage anything else, and she turned around to make her way into her own apartment.

“Mo?” Liam was calling out to her, but she didn’t have the energy to face him. Instead, he came to her, standing in front of her. A list of things he could’ve said crossed her mind. You really fucked up, Mo, or I expected better from you, Mo or You don’t deserve him, Mo. But he said none of those things. Instead, he gathered her to his chest, arms tightening around her in one of his warm, strong hugs, and he said, “It’s all going to be okay, Mo.”

She nodded silently against his chest.

She really hoped he was right.

Chapter 3 - Bad Memories

Previous | Next

Jimmy rushed down the halls of the Supernatural Agency once he arrived. He found the break room where he saw Anthony and a few others sitting. 

“I know who killed her.” Jimmy blurted out while panting. 

The break room was silent for a moment when Jimmy suddenly dropped the news that he knew who killed the woman. Inside the break room was Anthony, Dani and Friga.

“Well, who?” Anthony spoke up first.

“It was Kenneth.” Jimmy spoke.

Anthony and Dani went quiet again. They both knew who Kenneth was and why Jimmy hated him so much, but Friga did not yet.

“Who’s Kenneth?” Friga asked him.

“It’s a long story, I’ll tell you later.” Jimmy said. He was too mad to go on and explain his life history.

Taking action right away, Anthony stood up and walked towards Jimmy. “Let's go somewhere else and talk about this.” He said.

Dani stood up too and stood next to Anthony. “Can I come too?”

Jimmy nodded. “Yeah, lets go.”

The three of them walked into a private room. Jimmy took a seat at the table, looking at the ground with narrowed eyes. Anthony took a seat across from him while Dani leaned on the wall next to the table.

“So explain what happened...” Anthony started.

Jimmy took a deep sigh and turned his attention to Anthony again. Jimmy could not stay angry while Anthony was around, even if his anger was not directed at him.

“Well, I went to find what Chamuel was keeping from me. And I overheard a conversation. They said Kenneth killed her. I don’t know why they would keep that away from me. They know what he did to me.” Jimmy started to explain but went off on a ramble.

“Jimmy, don’t take this the wrong way but… you sure you heard them right?” Dani questioned.

“I’m positive of it.” He replied.

Anthony nodded. He ran a hand through his hair with a sigh. “Jimmy, trust me I know how you’re feeling. But we can’t rush this. We don’t even know where he is.”

“Right...” Jimmy said calming down. He trusted Anthony, for he really would know how he is feeling right now. He too lost family to monsters. The older man also had always been there for Jimmy and helped him from becoming just another drop out loser.

“I should let you know Rasputin took me off the case. Before I knew Kenneth was involved, we both agreed it would be best because of the archangels.” Jimmy explained to them.

“I’ll go on it.” Dani offered. “Jimmy, don’t worry, we will both make sure this fucker never hurts anyone again.”

“That would probably be best.” Anthony agreed. “Jimmy I know you’re angry but this is personal for you. It could turn ugly.”

If it was anyone else telling Jimmy this would be getting more angry. But since it was two of his closest friends that were there for him in the beginning he simply stayed silent for a moment. “Yeah, probably.” He said. “I need to do somethings first anyways.”

Jimmy stood up from the table and started to walk to the door. “Thank you.” He said before leaving.

Walking down the hallway he pulled out his phone and opened his texts. Last text he sent was to his son, Malcolm saying hi. Malcolm did not reply yet. Jimmy knew better than not to push him, the kid needed his space. He was too much like him in that respect.

While walking down the hall he saw Uriel approaching his direction. While an archangel Uriel posed as a human who worked at the supernatural agency. Jimmy was the only one here that knew his true identity. He kept walking, hoping Uriel was busy doing something else as he was not in the mood to see any of the archangels this moment. But Uriel stopped him by gently grabbing his shoulder.

“When you get a chance, Gabriel wants to speak with you.”

“Alright.” Jimmy mumbled. Of course she did. While Jimmy did not necessarily dislike any of the archangels, him and Gabriel never always saw eye to eye.

Thankfully that was all Uriel wanted from him and kept walking. Jimmy told himself he would deal with Gabriel later when he was in a better mood too. She was immortal and ageless, she could wait a day. But now he needed a rest.

Baker Residence

Jimmy entered his home, glad he finally got a moment to rest. On the couch watching tv was his wife, Swan. He took a seat next to her, slightly leaning on her shoulder.

“You’re home early.” She remarked.

“Yeah… technically I got taken off a case.” Jimmy started.

“What happened.” She asked, she looked worried.

“Well… it's a long story.” Jimmy said, trying to begin his story. “But basically the archangels don’t want us to be involved in this case for some reason. Well what they didn’t tell me was that Kenneth killed a woman.”

Being a former angel, Swan was familiar with the archangels even though it had been a while since she talked to any of them. Though she knew how much this meant to him and she hugged Jimmy. She wanted to tell him that the archangels had their reason to not tell Jimmy but she knew that will not help comfort him.

“So Rasputin and I agreed if they are going to be a problem it might be best I'm off the case.” Jimmy finished.

“I can understand why you're upset. You have the right to be. I would be too.” Swan said. She was not sure if her words were helping but she wanted to make sure he knew he was loved and respected.

“Thanks.” Jimmy replied.

“Celine won't be on this case will she?” Swan asked, concerned.

Celine was Swan's daughter, and Jimmy's stepdaughter and she was their oldest. While not related by blood, Jimmy was still a father figure in her life, having started dating Swan when she was very young. The two of them did not like to talk about Celine's biological father as it was a painful subject, for Swan especially. Celine was currently one of the newest recruits at the supernatural agency.

“Dani offered to take my place.” Jimmy reassured her.

Swan relaxed. “I'm glad. I'm still worried for her, and Malcolm.”

Jimmy nodded. Malcolm, that was a whole other story. When he was born, Malcolm was chosen for a very special task by the archangels to carry the soul of the horseman pestilence within him. Jimmy and Swan had little choice in the matter but this process was carried out by the archangels to keep the horsemen contained. Long ago they split the souls of these creatures in two. One part, the archangels carried with them and the other was placed into a mortal body.

Because of this Malcolm had always been somewhat of a loner his entire life, even hiding away from the archangels themselves. Now, Jimmy sometimes wondered how Malcolm would have grown up without the horseman inside him and also guilt for letting the archangels do that to his son.

“I tried texting him yesterday. But you know him, he likes his space.” Jimmy mused.

“Right.” Swan muttered.

“Hey... It's going to be alright.” Jimmy said hugging her and giving her a kiss on the cheek.

Swan smiled. “I know, but I just worry for them.”

Jimmy nodded. “Me too.”

The two of them sat in silence for a while watching tv. Feeling tired from his day at work he sat up and stretched. “I think I'm going to go rest.”

“Alright. I won't be going to bed for a while.” Swan replied.

Jimmy made his way up the stairs to their bedroom. He passed two empty rooms on his way, their kids old rooms. Passing them always made Jimmy feel so old, even though technically he was immortal now. It did not seem long ago when he would hear Malcolm's music from his closed door and Celine having her friends over.

He made himself to their bedroom and changed clothes, then buried himself under the sheets.

...

Jimmy back at his first home again. He looked around. He could vaguely recall that this was his childhood bedroom. It had been so long ago but as he walked around the old house, the memories were flooding back. He walked to the living room. A awful smell filled the room suddenly, a jarring change from the memory lane. In the middle of the room were the bodies of a man and woman. His parents, James and Natalia. Jimmy started to hyperventilate, tears forming in his eyes.

A second man stood between both, a small bit of blood trailing down his lips. He was blond, thin and tall. He smirked at Jimmy as he entered the room. His eyes seemed to peer into Jimmy's soul.

Jimmy woke with a sudden start. A nightmare. He sat up and looked to see he had woken Swan as well.

“What's wrong?”

“Nothing... Just a dream... Well a nightmare.” Jimmy told her.

“You okay?” Swan asked.

“Yeah I will. It was just a dream.” Jimmy reassured her.

He placed his head back on his pillow and rubbed his face, checking the time; midnight. It had been a long time since he had a flashback dream about the night his parents were murdered. He did not want to worry Swan but it did bother him. As quiet as he could he sneaked out the bed and all the way to outside to light a cigarette to calm down. Checking his phone he saw he did finally get a reply from Malcolm

'Hey whats up’

Jimmy smiled, glad to just hear back from him.

'The sky.’ Jimmy texted back. While cliche, he felt oddly proud of himself for that one. 

Finishing his smoke break he put the lid but out and made his way back inside and slipped back in bed, quietly as to not wake Swan again. With the nicotine in his system, he fell back to sleep in no time.

It follows

Series Summary: Reader is running from financial problems and his/her studies, will they catch up with him/her? Charlie's close friends (none other than Sam and Dean) go to check up on the reader due to Charlie becoming worried for him/her. Trouble pursues, as the reader wants to keep silent about his/her struggles.

Warnings: None

Masterlist

Chapter 12

You collapsed onto the bed right after Sam opened the motel room door; not even glancing at either of them, nor bothering to remove your shoes. Despite how fatigued you were, you forced yourself to semi-consciousness, in an effort to hear about the case you failed to keep up with.

Sam tossed his keys onto the small table and set down his case files. You assumed the silence was the boys glimpsing over at your 'sleeping' form. They spoke in hushed tones, as if you were a light sleeper (which they clearly knew you were not).

"(S/he) explain what the hell happened back there?" Dean asked.

"No, not really. Like I was trying to tell you before, something is definitely going on."

"Well, you should definitely figure out what that is, before (s/he) slows us down or gets (her/him)self hurt. I'm gonna head out and interview the rest of the families; give me a-. Actually, you've got this, never mind."

And with that, the world outside the door became muffled. Sam sighed and you heard him walk over to you. The bed dipped and you felt Sam's slightly colder, gigantic palm on your forehead. Unaware in your state of consciousness, you leaned into his touch. He smirked and briefly smoothed the hair away from your face, before straying back to his research.

At the absence of human contact, you unconsciously moaned and rolled over. Sam peered over his shoulder to see your back facing him. He brushed it off as nothing and resumed reviewing the individual cases.

Unbeknownst to him, nightmares would soon plague your brief rest.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Suddenly, you were in the old school hallways. The notorious mixtures of body odor, perfume, and wax flooded your nostrils as you observed the crowd of students moving past you. It was exactly like it was before, feeling lost and alone while life drawled on around you. Although, you could not differentiate that of the world around you from the physical world existing outside your dreams. You were a reprogrammed robot, running around like a headless chicken, but feeling as if everything was wrong. Before you had more time to think, you felt someone push roughly against your backpack. Turning around, you caught your two closest friends, Megan and Charlie, laughing and book-ending your sides.

"Hey (Y/N), whatcha thinking about? That cute (boy/girl) in History class today?" Megan chuckled.

"No, um, just thinking about what I'm doing later on." You said.

"Speaking of plans, you want to hang out later? It's Friday, after all." Charlie offered.

"Yeah, sure. I don't see why not." You replied.

"Sweet! I totally can bring out the good stuff too." Meg said.

You rolled your eyes as the three of you walked to Megan's SUV in the student parking lot. She blared the music all the way to her house while you weighed your options in the backseat. Did you really want you continue to go on this path that you didn't want to head down? Was it really worth it? Did you really want to be miserable anymore?

"You okay, (Y/N)? You're a little quiet back there." Charlie shouted after a while, bringing you back into the car.

You nodded in response, not bothering to yell over the music. She sent you back a concerned glance and returned to face forward in her seat.

You arrived at your friend's house and almost jumped out of the car in order to avoid the inevitable 'sharing and caring' with Charlie. You anxiously waited at the door until Megan unlocked it, then proceeded to nonchalantly follow them into the living room.

"Ugh, I have a week until my monthly payment comes about." Meg said, looking at an envelope from her mailbox.

"You're the one who chose to go to college." Charlie remarked.

"Yeah, but not for this shit." Meg said. "My mind is focused on the fun, not the blah blah blah."

She paused for a moment. "But now I'm wondering if it's even worth it.. I mean, I have my connections now, so... Maybe I'll just drop it after this semester?"

She seemed so set in her ways, you envied it. Maybe that's what you were missing, something solid to hold onto. Maybe that's why you weren't really feeling it, you needed something else. But what would that be?

"Anyway, screw the future. Let's be in the now and down some whiskey and weed, huh?" Meg said.

You and Charlie agreed quietly as Meg went to the pantry to grab everything. Your insides sunk as Charlie finally spoke up.

"Now, if you don't mind, what's on your mind?"

"I can't do this anymore Charlie." You said.

"What do you mean?"

"This." -You waved your hands wildly in the air- "This path, this life. I need something different; I don't want to be stuck here anymore." You explained.

"Well then change it, you're the only one who can." Meg added, walking into the room.

But you didn't know how; where to turn, who to go to.

"But there is one thing I can do, until I figure it out." You thought to yourself.

You stood up and started towards the door before Charlie ran to stop you.

"Where are you going?" They both asked with deep concern.

"I have to go."

"Where?"

"I just have to go, I'm sorry."

You turned to the outside and were met face to face with two bold officers. Your heart hammered and you slowly spun around to your friends, who were slightly more confused than you were.

"Not so fast, (Y/N)." The first officer said.

"You can't leave without them, now, can you?" The second officer added.

Suddenly, squad troops burst through the windows and snatched up Charlie and Megan, who both screamed in shock.

"(Y/N), what's going on?" Megan shrieked.

"And we'll be taking her as well." The second officer said, pulling your cuffed mother into view.

"Mom! No, don't take them, please." You begged.

"Then you need to decide, (Y/N)," the first officer responded, "or all of your dignities and weaknesses? They'll be gone. Forever."

You sobbed as you backed up through the broken window, already feeling the tinge of regret in your stomach as you fell to the ground.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dean sighed as he entered into the motel room, causing Sam to glance up from his research. He glanced over to your slightly restless form on the bed, trying his best to ignore it for now.

"You find anything?" Sam asked, looking over his laptop.

"I think so, but I'm not sure," Dean replied. "All of the victims were taken in completely different areas; doesn't that sound weird to you?"

"Well, not really, since it could be a pack of werewolves that just spread itself out over a full community." Sam said.

"True, but what about the victims' corpses? Didn't they seem odd to you? I mean, they ate a little more than the heart, if you didn't notice." Dean pointed out.

"Maybe they were salvaging or something?" Sam guessed.

"I don't know man, this case feels a little off, and it isn't just because of the new addition over there." Dean said, gesturing over to you.

You moaned, causing them to look over in guilt; they were hoping they had not accidentally disturbed you.

"How has (s/he) been?" Dean asked.

"She's been a little fitful since she laid down, but I made sure to check that (s/he) didn't have a fever or anything."

Suddenly, you began to hyperventilate and scream out into the room. The boys instantly rushed over to see a sheen of sweat across your face and damp spots surrounding your restless body.

"(Y/N), hey, wake up!" Sam said loudly, careful to not frighten you.

It took a couple tries, but you eventually woke with a gasp. Looking frantically around the room, you sighed into your palm when you realized where you were. You sniffled and wiped your face, not even bothering to mask your emotions at this point.

"(Y/N), what's going on? I think it would be a good time to talk about it." Dean said.

You took a labored breath and swallowed. "Why does it matter? It isn't your problem."

"(Y/N), we can't help you if you don't let us in." Sam replied.

"It is our problem, because you are with us now." Dean added.

"Am I? Are you sure about that?"

The boys glanced at each other in confusion and focused their attention back to you. "What?" Sam asked.

"You sure I'm not dragging you down? And don't say I'm not; you saw what happened earlier. I'm slowing you down, and it isn't long before you kick me to the curb or vice versa!"

Sam furrowed his eyebrows while Dean raised his in shock, he didn't think you would catch onto the hunter mindset so quickly.

"(Y/N), we don't want to kick you out, you need us." Sam said.

"And you aren't doing this because you feel sorry for me?" You asked with certainty.

"This isn't about that, (Y/N). We actually want to help you." Sam said.

"Seriously?" You asked sarcastically.

"Yes!" Both of them responded in unison.

Your demeanor softened as you took in what was in front of you; they wanted to help you, at least you didn't think so.

"Wait, really?" You asked quietly.

"Why wouldn't we?" Dean responded.

"I'm not a hunter, and I'm absolutely not in the trouble you think I'm in."

"It doesn't matter, it looks like you could really use the help." Sam said.

"Hell, you strayed over to this life, which isn't a good sign. If it wouldn't have been because of us, you would have come across it eventually. This life isn't the best life, not for anyone." Dean added.

"Well it's better for you than for me.. Look at you guys! You've saved so many people, including the world. I'm weak, I'm not even fit for this job. I'm probably not fit for any job at this point. And even if I was? There wouldn't be a point. I can't run from this shit forever, and I'm pretty sure you guys, if anyone, know that." You explained.

Sam sighed. "You're right, you can't run forever. I know, I've tried, and it just comes back to you in the end. But we want to offer you help, because we've been there before; all we had was each other."

"You can leave at any time, but we won't be kicking you out, not anytime soon anyway. We honestly do care about you, (Y/N). Just give us a chance?" Dean said.

You smirked and gave them your best shot, realizing that they truly might give you the direction you need.

The A-Mei-Zing Outback Adventure Chapter 19

“Zǎoshang hǎo! Good morning, Roadhog,” Mei greeted the enormous man cheerfully, tossing her already-packed bag into the pile in the hallway. Roadhog lifted one hand in response before a little movement of his masked head indicated he was looking past her, at the lanky figure rising up behind her. “Hehehe, yeah, we had a good morning, all roight,” Junkrat said, leering his toothy grin as he reached out to goose her bottom. “Real good.” Mei’s face reddened on cue, and he grinned all the harder when he saw the tips of her ears change color. She turned and smacked the back of his hand with a scowl. “Stop that,” she said, “I know what you’re doing, trying to embarrass me. Huài dàn.” After spending more time with the junkers, Mei could read Roadhog a little better now. Not on the level of Junkrat, of course, who could carry on hours worth of one-sided  conversations with little more than an occasional grunt or wrinkle of the forehead as responses; but now she could spot subtle little movements of his facial muscles, little tics and tells that spoke of the man behind the mask…And right now, he was rolling his eyes at them both. “Sorry!” she called after him, as he grumbled under his breath and ambled off back into the kitchen. She shot Junkrat a little dirty look as she adjusted her glasses, but he looked all the more gleeful for it, especially when she lifted a finger and shook it at him sternly. “Are we going to have to talk about this? Don’t make Mr. Roadhog uncomfortable.” “Lovey, I think if we’re talking levels of ‘uncomfortable’ what Roadie and me’s had to deal with, hearing us going at it is pretty damn low on the charts.” “Well maybe if you weren’t so loud…” Junkrat entwined his arms around her once more, his voice going high-pitched and wavering in an incredibly poor falsetto version of Mei’s accent. “My name’s Mei, I don’t want nobody to know I’m a moaner, not even when I’m getting it good, don’t want anybody to hear me going ‘ooooooh! Oooh Junkrat! Oooooh yeees, mmmmhh’!” “Oh my gosh! Stop!” she sputtered, shoving at his chest before trying to cover his mouth with both hands, as if to stifle his lewd noises by force. “Ooooohhhh Junkrat! Oooh, I’m gonna-OW!” he cried a little louder, interrupted suddenly as there was a cracking noise and he was suddenly bulled to the side when Snowball appeared from nowhere and slammed into his shoulder again, smacking its antenna across his head once more. “Ow! Son of a bitch bot, I know where you sleep!”

Mei separated them once more, pulling the enraged drone into her arms and holding it away to protect it from the irate junker, looking more than a little exasperated. “You two stop it, both of you! I swear I’m just going to leave you both here and just go to the drop point with Roadhog. We’re meeting back up with the others in just a few hours and we’ll have to give our official reports, can we at least try to be a little more professional? I’m already going to have…a lot to deal with.” She wrinkled her nose unhappily. “Dr. Ziegler is going to want to see us immediately, I know. And then I…I really need to apologize to Winston. I still need to set up a few things now that we have the eco-monitor online, once I get back to my equipment, not to mention all the damage costs and paperwork…” Snowball uttered a rather unpleasant mechanical scraping noise that she guessed was supposed to be sympathetic, its visor lights still flickering and broken as it flashed happy emoticon eyes up at her. She offered it a little smile, patting its dented body. Junkrat ruefully rubbed at the red mark across his temple where the malfunctioning weather drone had managed to strike him. “Professional is one of my many middle names, darl. I mean…if they ask me right out, I’m obliged to tell ‘em, right? Legally, officially, to make sure that I ain’t Stockholming you too bad? Because I got a feeling that monkey didn’t take too kindly to it at all, and he wasn’t fond of us in the first place. So they’re gonna strap me to a chair and grill me about how I done you?” “That is not how it would go, even if they did broach that subject,” she replied. “I am just going to sit down with Winston and explain everything, how things happened and how it went so out of control. And then if Dr. Ziegler does want to approach a more…psychiatric angle on things, I will be more than happy to handle that as well. You haven’t done anything wrong, Jamison. Nobody has. Don’t worry, we just need to focus on the extraction now.” Junkrat jabbed an oil-stained thumb behind him. “Well, Roadie says he’s got the Hog running and ready to roll! Didn’t have much to do while you were sleepin’ at first, so we sorted this place’s scrap heap and whipped something up, with the help of yours truly of course. Engine’s still janky and it don’t sound right, drives Hog right up a wall, but it should hold us and all the weapons. Speakin’ of!” She blinked as Roadhog’s heavy footsteps approached once more, this time holding a simple pulse pistol that looked comically tiny in his enormous hand, pinched almost delicately between two fingers. Mei wrinkled her nose as he carefully dropped it out into her outstretched palm. The blank lenses peered down at her as he rumbled a low, “Do you know how to u-” “I know how to shoot,” she said a little more sharply than she meant, and bit her lip. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap. I just haven’t had to use a gun in a very, very long time. It was part of our training back in the earlier days of Overwatch…The, erm, legitimate one. Commander Morrison always said I hesitated too much and my reaction times were slow but complimented my form on headshots. I still prefer my cryo-gun. It’s been years since I’ve had to shoot anything else.” “For what it’s worth, darl,” Junkrat said helpfully, “It always gave me a half-chub whenever I saw you sink an icicle into someone’s front lobe. Even mine, sometimes, durin’ the training.” “Jamison, that’s…actually really weird...” “Anyways eh, I always say aiming’s overrated.” He gestured to his frag launcher sitting by the door, along with a veritable arsenal of grenades and mines stacked atop each other. “Been working on that boom pile for days now, should see us through!” “Through what? What are you expecting to happen?” Roadhog lightly patted the enormous metal hook on his sagging belt. “Told you you don’t bring dropships inland. Seen people try anyway. Sand and winds give away the stealth field, and there’s always someone on the lookout for anyone stupid enough to give it a go.” Mei swallowed unsurely, looking down at the little pistol. The junkers had been adamant on that point when she’d first brought it up months ago, had even laughed at her for the very idea. She had the feeling that both of them had partaken in attacks against inland expeditions before, and no doubt that the fighting between junkers and crew would be absolutely vicious in the unending search for scrap and money. She turned to them with a frown, straightening her glasses. “Do you think it will be that bad? Can you…tell the other junkers to stop, maybe?” Both junkers immediately dissolved into outrageous fits of laughter, Hog’s enormous belly shaking mightily and the filters of his pig mask barely muffling the booming thunder of his voice, and the more vivacious Junkrat literally fell onto the floor, holding his ribs and shrilling giggles so hard that he nearly started hyperventilating. Even trusty Snowball seemed to be triggered by their glee, shaking back and forth and uttering rapid buzzing sounds as if to laugh with them. Mei frowned severely at them all and folded her arms as she leaned back, clenching her jaw and half-lidding her eyes, her expression long-suffering as she waited for it to be over. Roadhog recovered first, snorting a gulp of air and shaking his head with a simple, “No.” Junkrat remained sprawled on the floor near her feet, choking and wiping a tear from the corner of one eye with a dirty finger, leaving a smear of black on his cheek instead. “Ask ‘em to stop, Roadie! Why didn’t we ever think of that before! Oooh, near busted me gut on that one, lovey. Yeah, junkers ain’t exactly unified, and me and the pig man there ain’t exactly popular blokes with any of ‘em nowadays. Fuck me, even Tilda was a sook compared to the big nasties back in Junkertown.” “Okay, I get it, it wasn’t a bright question,” Mei grumbled. “What can we do?” “Do? Ain’t nothing to do about it. Your monkey was fuckin' insistant on sending a rescue ship, we just got to reach it before it gets arse-blasted roight outta the sky and they chop it up for parts, along with whatever fuckin’ omnic pals they’re stupid enough to send with.” he spat bitterly, wrinkling his nose at the mere mention of Overwatch’s robot agents. She gave him a hard look, choosing her next words carefully. “I doubt Winston would send an omnic on this…particular mission. But I don’t think we can be picky if he does. We need help. From anyone. Even the bots, if they do show up, so just…be prepared, in case.” Roadhog gave a dangerous low rumble, and Junkrat looked ready to answer with something he’d probably have regretted later before making himself turn away. The contention between the junkers and the omnics had caused no small amount of trouble at first. The addition of omnics to the team had been hotly debated even before their arrival, despite their only representatives being arguably the most peace-loving specimens on the entire team. Zarya and Torbjorn made their distaste of the situation clear, but military discipline bade them both keep it in check other than the occasional insult or thinly veiled threat. Roadhog and Junkrat had no such qualms about team cohesion, and only the presence of Genji and the others had kept them both from outright destroying Zenyatta on sight, even while the robotic monk plead for a non-violent compromise. There had also been an issue with Junkrat attempting to eat Bastion’s pet bird, which had ended with the junker’s peg leg shot to pieces as both parties fled in opposite directions. To say that there was ‘peace’ between them even now would have hardly been accurate. She had been firmly on Zenyatta and Bastion’s side, but had been too intimidated by Roadhog to ever speak up against him, and Junkrat had never seemed very affected by her accusations of being a bully and omnic-hater. And though she hated to admit it, even though she still did not agree with them and probably never could…she understood their reasons a little better now. The wasteland did things to a person, twisted them, warped and poisoned them as it sought to kill them like it had killed everything else here. It could make even a good person know what hate was, fill them with bitterness and violence. And she had only experienced it for a few weeks. She could not imagine spending a lifetime here, or growing up here, knowing that every moment of pain or hardship had been caused by one direct source. She decided not to pursue that particular topic any further, making a mental note to possibly try and tackle that issue somewhere down the line when things were a little less dire. Besides, this time it would be other junkers, not bots, that they had to worry about. She carefully tucked the little pistol into her belt, though its very presence still felt a little alien to her compared to the comforting weight of her freeze gun. But with her cryo-liquid tank empty and broken miles upon miles away in the wreckage of the red zone, the gun would be her only real defense… Well, her first line of defense was actually the junkers, and they both looked downright eager for a fight. Junkrat had promptly forgotten their near-argument over the omnics, and was happily adding another box of grenades to the pile, counting them under his breath. Roadhog was palming the handle of his hook in a way that looked far too erotic for Mei’s liking, so she turned away and distracted herself with the jugs of water, picking up two of the smaller ones and pushing open the screen door. The Hog was waiting just outside, freshly repaired and with one of Junkrat’s crazy faces newly painted on the dented sidecar. The others joined her, packing in and tying on as Hog tested its weight before finally giving them both a thumbs up. Mei gave the sidecar a worried look, almost filled to the brim with rattling grenades and mines all loosely crammed inside, with barely enough room for even Junkrat’s scrawny legs, much less her own. The lanky junker sniffed at one of his frags before shrugging and merely tossing it inside as well, clattering loudly and making her jump. “Um, Jamison, are you entirely sure they’re all secure and safe like that?” “Don’t you worry your beautiful head, Mei darl, those ain’t going off until I want ‘em to…Or unless we crash. Oi! Hog, mate! Don’t crash or we’re all going up, I got enough payload here to cause the second apocalypse!” Hog gave him another thumbs up and Mei uttered a resigned sigh. Carrying nothing more than weapons, some fuel, and water, Roadhog mounted his bike and Junkrat vaulted into place in the sidecar, slithering into place like he’d done a thousand times before before looking to the little climatologist standing awkwardly nearby. He batted both scraggly brows, grinning widely and patting his lap with a few lewd smacks of his palm, wiggling slightly. “Sorry, ain’t no room left except right here! Come on, get comfy!” She gave him a rather flat look, but took his hand as he reached out, scooting in over the side and landing with her elbows clanging against a stack of mines. She straightened quickly, scrambling onto his lap and trying to get as small as possible, clearly disliking being surrounded by hundreds of active explosive devices on all sides. Snowball circled around them before wedging itself into a tiny space still left under the sidecar’s lid, offering Mei a comforting pair of happy emotive eyes. It seemed the little bot was just as eager to get going as the rest of them. Mei glanced around her. “…Seatbelts?” Both junkers began laughing again. Junkrat whomped the side of the car with a loud clang, signaling Roadhog, and with a kick of his armored boot and the rattling roar of the Hog’s new engine, they were off. ***

She had ridden briefly in the motorcycle during the attack of Tilda’s gang, when she and Roadhog had ambushed them from the side. But it had been the first time she’d ever ridden in a vehicle with actual, antiquated wheels. She was unused to the strange feeling of the physical road beneath them, bumping and rattling and vibrating through her bones. Some men, like Roadhog, were never content unless they felt the roar of an engine and a highway beneath their wheels. But Mei could swear she felt every pebble or crack they ran over, shooting straight through her spine as she tried to keep herself steady, her face turning a light shade of gray-green. The ride was having a very different effect on the other passenger sitting beneath her, and when she felt something jab into her rear, she absent-mindedly went to remove it, thinking one of the pieces of scrap metal or grenade pins had gone astray. What her fingers found was neither of those things, and she gave Junkrat a scandalized look, adjusting herself atop his lap primly, having to yell over the noise of the engine. “Jamison! Really!?” “What! It’s the vibrations!” “Well, stop!” “Can’t help it! I’m just an average bloke what’s vibrating all around with you on my lap, what do you expect! Ain’t you feelin’ it too? Thought sheilas loved vibratin’ things!” “Don’t say things like that! And I’m feeling…sick?” “Aw, love. Well, try not to chunder, can’t have your liquid lunch gumming up the frags if we need ‘em. Here, if ya need to, just lean out over the side and then you can yak or piss or whatever and it’s gone in the wind, that’s what I do!” Mei turned another shade of green and hid her face in both hands. This rescue couldn’t come soon enough. The Hog continued thundering along the road, clouds of red dust billowing behind them. Mei tried to distract herself with the scenery, though there was not much to look at. The yellow zone was not as bereft of life as the red zone, but there was little to see beyond red rocks and dirt, scrubby, thorny desert brush, and the very occasional struggling tree. She did spot a number of lizards, sunning themselves atop the stones or slithering about in the shade, and once Junkrat tapped her shoulder to point out a lone kangaroo that was standing and glaring at them from the side of the road. It did not look like the friendly roo she had once pet at a wildlife zoo. This one was warped by radiation and was missing patches of its hair, and had what looked like an extra leg growing and dangling from its belly, its toes warped and claws curled. Mei could swear it was giving them a rude gesture as they passed it by. It seemed like the people of Australia were hardly the only things suffering in this land. They drove on for several hours, pausing only to top off from their gas can and a bathroom break, where Mei quietly puked the remains of last night’s dinner into a bush while Junkrat awkwardly patted her back and offered her water. Then it was squeezing back into that awful sidecar and back atop his lap. At least he wasn’t trying to get handsy with her anymore while she tried to rest, instead taking a pair of binoculars and peering at the oncoming horizon as they rode onward. Occasionally he’d giggle or frown at something he saw, when he suddenly began banging on the side of the cart, startling Mei and causing Roadhog to slow to a stop as the engine idled. “Oi oi oi! I see somethin’, real far off! Mei, scoot?” He awkwardly maneuvered out from under her, squishing her to one side as he struggled to stand. His immense height towered above her as he straightened his long spine, stretching upward as he clicked at the focus buttons on the old lenses. “Ohhhh, I think that might be them. Welp, looks like that’s a fair bad bit of luck there! They’ve already been spotted, looks like they got a crowd!” “What!” Mei pushed at him to stand as well, nearly causing them both to fall over as she snatched the binoculars and peered through them. It took her a moment to find what he had even been talking about. It was incredibly far off still, but with the higher-powered focus, she could see the shape of MV-261 Orca, Overwatch’s main dropship. Its stealth field had apparently been dropped, and even as she watched, she could see little flashes of yellow light and clouds of black smoke puffing silent around it��explosions, hitting it from below. The rocks on the horizon obscured whatever was on the ground, but judging by the sheer amount of little cloud puffs, the Orca was already taking a beating. “R-Roadhog! Can we go a little faster please! I think they’re under attack, and they’re not even near the meeting point yet!” Junkrat pulled her back down into the cart as Roadhog pressed the throttle, wheels spinning in the dirt as they took off. The wind whistled in her ears, holding her scarf onto her head as sand pelted her glasses, gnawing at her bottom lip. Her companions had not been kidding about not taking dropships inland. She never should have lost her temper with Winston and cut him off. She should have kept communications up while she still had them, should have warned them about taking something smaller, or maybe they should have given them a few more days to take a roller after them, or maybe they should never have sent a rescue at all. Worse yet, they had no equipment to even try and establish communication with the ship, and were going in blind. The red storms were avoidable now, with the eco-monitor keeping a watchful eye on things. The outback’s vicious inhabitants, less so. She felt Junkrat tense under her, and almost scolded him again before she heard him growl suddenly, one arm encircling covetously around her. She turned and saw that they were no longer alone. Further away, on both sides of them, were the telltale smoky red trails of other vehicles traveling through the dust. One was an old wheeled roller like theirs, an ancient truck armored with metal plates and a large harpoon-like gun mounted on its back, the other a more modern levitating utility vehicle. Both were manned by other junkers. The hover-jeep veered a little closer to them, and one of the men in the back lifted his gun and gave a whoop of delight. Junkrat flashed his wide smile and lifted his frag launcher in reply. As far as anyone knew, they were just another pack of junkers who had heard about the ship that been stupid enough to fly over outback territory…Years ago, they would have been just that, just two more men heading to help rip apart whatever they thought they could get, their blood boiling as they readied for a fight. Now he was readying for a fight, but to protect that very dropship. Not that he particularly cared for the Orca or whatever combatants they’d sent along inside it, but if Mei was sick and that ship was her hope of getting better, he’d blow up every other junker in the whole desert if it meant getting her on board and out of there. She had shrunk back against his chest, looking up with an unsure expression as the other men drove nearer. He squeezed her side, his other hand still on the trigger of his gun just in case. Roadhog was similarly wary, occasionally glancing from side to side to mark their progress. They couldn’t afford to start a battle now, even if it would thin their numbers a bit. They simply drove on, as other dust clouds appeared on the horizon…more junkers racing to reach their gruesome prize. The ship itself was still struggling in the air, becoming more visible the closer they got. It was still miles out from the agreed meeting point. The hull was already showing signs of damage, as the remaining defense turrets struggled to keep their attackers at bay. Even as Mei watched, there was a faint booming noise from the rocks, and a volley of rockets launched from below, striking the bottom of the ship as another turret came loose and fell to the ground in flames. Javelins peppered the Orca’s underbelly, some still attached to cords and chains, slowing and weighing it down. The whole ship was starting to list dangerously to one side, and Mei gave a little cry of alarm as she stood up in the sidecar, pointing ahead. “H-hurry! We have to hurry! I-I think it’s going down!”

I love you (not) - Chapter 11

I'm back! Almost a month late, but exams got in the way of @marichatmay (how inconsiderate of my uni to hold them at this time of the year, really) The updates should be more frequent again, especially since I've got at least a couple of chapters planned that combine two prompts! Hope you enjoy this chapter xxx

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Chapter 11: In which, to quote Taylor Swift, dancing is a dangerous game

Marinette hummed happily as she inspected the dress on her mannequin.

Without tooting her own horn, it really was some of her best work; she'd chosen an asymmetric cut for it, slightly shorter in front, so the silk fabric teased the top of her knees. It was light enough that it could expand like a corolla if she twirled, but the shape of the skirt prevented it from hitching too high (one had to remain classy).

She was so pleased with the result. She'd fallen in love with the velvet lining of the cherry blossom pattern fabric when she'd stumbled upon it at the Marché St Pierre over a year ago, and had bought it on a whim. It had been safely sitting at the back of her fabric case ever since, for lack of a worthy project. She’d looked at it longingly every time she opened the box, hoping inspiration would strike.

She didn’t know if it was the upcoming class party, her strangely giddy heart, or the lovely late spring weather, but something in the air had titillated her creativity, and here she was, the proud owner of a beautiful dress, perfect for any occasion.

And what an occasion the class party was turning out to be. What had started out as a lowkey plan to celebrate the approaching end of the school year and the end of the brevet, had developed into something much bigger when the class had started discussing where to hold it, and Chloé had ended up suggesting the Grand Paris restaurant with a seemingly exasperated sigh. Marinette had seen her small smile when everyone had thanked her, though, and had made a mental note to suggest that they found a small present for her before the party.

Alya had been shocked when she’d voiced the thought aloud, asking if Marinette was feeling feverish, but her friend had shrugged the comment off. She just felt very light and breezy for some reason, and nothing could knock her off her air path.

She sighed contentedly as she put her pins away and opened a window to let the warm spring breeze in. This would do nicely. Even if she wasn't going to directly pursue Adrien, she was sure he'd notice the quality of her garment. And then, if he asked her to dance like the last time they’d been to a party at Chloé’s...

Oh, but what if we do dance like last time , she froze at the thought. I haven't made any progress in dancing, and even though I managed to not faceplant in front of him last time, I'm not sure that my luck will withstand a second time - what if I step on his feet? What if I knock into him and break his nose? Then he will hate me, his whole modeling career will be ruined, and Gabriel Agreste will make sure I never become a designer, and Adrien and I will never get married, have our house, three kids and our hamster named-

The lack of oxygen from her hyperventilating made her lose her balance and she caught herself on her desk. She breathed out slowly, relaxing as her eyes met Chat’s on their picture from the Café des Chats. She needed to stop catastrophising. It wouldn’t be a good idea to dance with Adrien, not while her “relationship” with Chat Noir was still "going strong”. She caught herself wondering how out of place it would be to invite him along to the party (it would definitely give her an excuse not to dance with Adrien), but promptly waved the thought away.

She went up to her computer and pulled up a dance tutorial to get her mind off of things. Just to be on the safe side.

"One two three, one two three..." She tried following the waltz steps, pretending to hold someone in her arms.

She felt a little stupid, but quickly brushed the feeling away. It wasn’t like someone was going to see her. She closed her eyes and let herself be carried by the music, picturing the movements in her head. It was easier this way.

“I must say, Marinette, you have excellent taste in music. Oh! Whatcha doing?” Her eyes flew open at the sound of a familiar voice and she stumbled backwards, crashing into her mannequin. Had she somehow invoked Adrien? A quick glance at her window and the smiling, masked face dangling upside down from it answered her question. "It really drags a cat- woah there, careful Princess!”

Chat leaped inside as his smile melted into a concerned frown.

“Would you stop sneaking up on me like that?!” She cursed as he helped her up, not admitting that she was actually kind of glad to see him. It had been a while. She immediately straightened her mannequin and started dusting off the dress.

“But where’s the fun in that? You’re cute when you’re dancing.” He felt his cheeks pinken, on par with hers at the compliment.

“Yeah, well, um…” She stammered, occupying herself by frantically checking for any sign of damage. “You could have ruined my dress!” She huffed.

“Ooh, is that what you’ll be wearing at Chloé… Bourgeois’ party?” He caught himself before he could sound too chummy about Chloé, but his face lit up as he turned around the mannequin to inspect it.

“What do you know about that?” Marinette crossed her arms and squinted suspiciously at him.

“Oh, nothing much,” he gulped, remembering how attentive to detail Marinette was. “I just heard about it through the grapevine, you know? I kind of keep a tab on events involving the Bourgeois, they tend to be at high akumatisation risk.”

“Clever kitty,” Marinette whispered under her breath.

“What was that?” Chat smirked.

“I said, that’s fair.” She cleared her throat.

“Right.” He nudged her. “Anyway, this dress is gorgeous, you’ve done an ameowzing job on it, Marinette.”

“Thanks.” She bit back a giddy smile, and cleared her throat. “What are you doing here, anyway?”

“I…” Chat hesitated. He wasn’t sure, really. He’d been relaxing in his room, gazing at his ceiling, when he’d suddenly felt an irrepressible longing to see Marinette, and had promptly been on his way. He wondered if he could invoke his right to want to see his girlfriend, but decided it probably wasn’t for the best. They hadn’t seen each other since their encounter at the flower shop (well, of course they had, but she hadn’t been aware of it), and the part of him who was still hellbent on ending this absurd arrangement was convinced that a bit of progress towards a potential breakup had been made; blurting out defining relationship terms would definitely not help go down that road. “I was just in the neighbourhood, so I thought I’d pop in and say hi! I’ve missed you.” He felt the tip of his ears warm up at his words.

“I’ve missed you, too.” She looked at her feet bashfully and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

Both remained silent for a moment while the waltz music kept playing in the background, unsure what to say next. The silence was interrupted by a loud ad for Tsurugi cars on Marinette’s computer.

She jumped and went to close the tab, but Chat Noir caught the name of the video before she could do so.

“A dance tutorial?” He tilted his head inquisitively, and she froze. “What’s this for?”

“Well, I know it sounds stupid, but… I’m a little worried about the dancing part of Chloé’s evening.” She admitted, knotting her hands together.

“But you’re a great dancer!” Chat’s exclamation came out like a cry from the heart. “I mean, I suppose. How could you not be? You’re Marinette Dupain-Cheng! You can do anything.”

“Thanks, Chat.” She flashed him a bright smile, making his heart skip a beat.

“I’m only speaking the truth.” He bowed, and decided it would be for the best for him to change the subject, before he went down the ‘Marinette is amazing’ rabbit hole. The rant could easily last for a long time. Thankfully, the video came to his rescue. “You know, though, I hear kids these days don’t really waltz anymore,” he said conspiratorially.

It was true; even though his father had been adamant about him taking ballroom dancing lessons, claiming every respectable young man knew how to dance, Nino had been almost uncharacteristically mocking about how he’d danced with Marinette at Chloé’s first party when they’d discussed it later (he’d had to gush about how great it had been to dance with his good friend), advising him to update his dancing style. Adrien had therefore looked it up, and had found out that Rock’n Roll dancing seemed fairly popular still, and his father had approved the suggestion to add it to the acceptable dance list. He wondered if Marinette also knew how to dance it.

“I know people who still waltz,” Marinette replied, defensively crossing her arms in front of her chest. “And so what if it’s a little old-fashioned? I don’t see what’s wrong with it.”

“It’s just not very twenty-first century, is all.” He shrugged, although he wanted to scream that he agreed with her. He was mildly afraid that she’d see that two of the people she knew who appreciated waltzing were blond guys with green eyes, about the same height and build, and absolutely fantastic, funny and well-dressed, and that she would connect the dots. He wasn’t sure Ladybug would be very pleased if his identity was leaked over a dance, no matter how trustworthy Marinette was.

“Oh yeah? And what would you suggest, then?” Marinette cocked an eyebrow.

“Ever heard of Rock’n Roll?” he asked.

“I don’t live under a rock, you know.” She rolled her eyes. “Pun unintended.”

“And do you know how to dance it?” He took a step forward.

“I know the basics.” She shrugged.

“Would you like to practise? Just in case it turns out to be useful at Chloé’s…” He trailed off, trying to hide how excited he was at the prospect of dancing with Marinette again.

She wrung her hands together and pondered her options. It would be pretty stupid not to seize the opportunity, plus, she’d always kind of wondered what it would be like to dance with Chat. She didn’t know where the idea came from, although maybe their late night patrols in the moonlight played a part in it. “Are you sure you don’t have more important things to attend to?” She looked up at him.

“I’m free as a bird.” He grinned.

“Okay, then.” She found a playlist and launched it. “Show me what you’ve got.”

Chat Noir extended his hand and she took it. He pulled her in a little closer, twirling her in and back out before swinging their hands in rhythm with the music.

“The real pros trace little hearts to the beat, because your heart rate actually changes to match the tempo of a song,” he confided, before taking her other hand.

They met chest to chest a couple of times, then lifted their arms over their heads, letting go of one hand. Chat’s gloved hand hovered over Marinette’s arm as they moved just out of reach of each other, giving her goosebumps. Her breath hitched slightly, and she was fairly sure her complexion was now a couple of shades redder. Chat didn’t notice, or pretended not to, twirling her again, then taking her other hand again to go through a series of passes.

Marinette was impressed by how smoothly he led her, how natural it seemed to be for him. He smiled casually as they danced and she relaxed, effortlessly falling into rhythm with him.

As the end of the song approached, Chat got more confident that she could take more complex moves and picked up the difficulty. Marinette was slightly dizzy from all the twists and turns and was thankful for the pause he gave her after a string of moves. They stepped to the rhythm, her back to his chest, for a couple of beats longer than was traditional. She wondered if he’d sensed that he’d reached her limit.

“Hey, Marinette?” Chat’s breath tickled her ear as he whispered in it.

“Yes?” She looked up at him. Their faces were mere inches away; his gaze had an intensity she’d rarely seen him sport. She couldn’t deny it was a good look on him.

“Do you trust me?” His voice was slightly hoarse from the exercise.

“With my life,” she breathed, her eyes mindlessly landing on his lips. “Why-aaaah!”

She yelped as his hands dropped to her waist and he picked her up, then flipped her in the air.

He caught her before she landed, but her surprise made her fall more heavily than she would have with more notice, a loud thud echoing with her pulse in her ears as the song finally came to an end.

“Hmm, you should really rehearse that last move before the dance, you weren’t very light on your feet…” Chat bit back his laughter.

Marinette was about to punch his shoulder and yell at him to never pull that kind of thing on her again, unless he wanted to become cat food, when Sabine’s voice sounded from below.

“Marinette? Is everything alright?”

“Ah, er, yes Maman! Everything’s fine, I just knocked over my mannequin again!” She called out, frantically starting to push Chat up her stairs, towards her skylight. “You need to go, she can’t know that you’re here,” she added in hushed tones. If Sabine found him there with her… Well, Marinette had managed to convince her after the very first lunch that Chat and her wouldn’t work out, and she knew her mother had taken her word for it; she wasn’t so sure how she would react if she discovered that things were serious enough that he came around and danced in her room with her. Not that it was romantic in any way, but she knew what it could look like from the outside.

“Okay, okay,” he chuckled, “no need to be so pushy.”

“Consider it your punishment for almost giving me a heart attack,” Marinette shook her head. Her next words reassured him that she held no grudge. “See you later?”

“I’ll definitely cat ch you around, Princess,” he winked as he quickly kissed her hand. She rolled her eyes, but smiled nonetheless. “By the way, I’m sure you’ll do great, whoever you dance with.”

“Thanks, Kitty.”

As she returned inside, she reflected on their synchronicity, and wondered if it was all down to the couple of years of fighting side by side, or if something bigger was at stake, allowing herself, for the first time since it had happened, to think about her first kiss for a little more than a couple of seconds.

Toxic Chapter Two: I’m Calling

Sitting (quite innocently, considering who they are) on the couch, was IFETCH (without Freak). Inkonti, E.T., Creampuff, and Hysterical. Named for their powers, or, in Hysterical’s case, pure batshit crazy-ness, these were the most powerful people to ever exist. Tadashi was, needless to say, so fucking petrified all previous thoughts of his incoming erection were replaced with pure terror. FUCK. 

He was going to die. Slowly, and painfully. And, knowing how his life tends to go, not even at the hands of Freak. Shit shit shit shit shit fuck. This was not going to be good. Hell, he hasn’t even lost his virginity yet. He was going to die a virgin. For some fucked up, I-have-stopped-giving-a-shit-at-this-point reason, dying a virgin was at the forefront of his mind. He could at least get some sweet lovin’ before he passed. But apparently, that was not happening. Not when, in the torch-lit black-themed room, was IFETCH, only the scariest, most intimidating villains to ever walk the face of good ol’ planet Earth. And that was saying something! They had a lot of competition. What with Lucifer, Gin, Diablo… But nevertheless, sitting right in front of him, were the biggest, baddest, of them all.

Inkonti, with the power Electricity. Armed with a taser, conductor gloves, complete control over powerful electrical currents that could go through anything (no matter how non-conductive), and a penchant for power-outages, he was a giant threat to the superheroes. Like, a really big threat. The-day-he-was-born-caused-Tokyo-to-suffer-a-massive-blackout (and that was his powers at their lowest!) kinda threat. He was not afraid to use his power, too. He was known for his tendency to electrocute people to death (giving him the nickname The Electric Chair in some circles) with a smirk on his face. And right now, he was staring at Tadashi through dark, narrowed eyes, a smirk dancing around his lips. Tadashi got distracted by his hair, which, and he could sympathize with this, appeared to be a massive case of untameable bedhead. Tadashi heard a disapproving hum to the right of Inkonti.  

Beside him sat Creampuff. Creampuff didn’t have the typical appearance of a villain. With light brown eyes and hair of the same colour, he looked almost…soft. But Tadashi knew better. Beyond Creampuff’s outward appearance, he was a formidable opponent. On him were two Glock G19s, a bow, and some arrows. He had such deadly accuracy the best sniper would pale in comparison. Despite being an archer against people with firearms, he always came out victorious in the end. But that’s not all Creampuff brought to the table. He also had the powerful mind control power of ‘Delusions’. Delusions caused his victim to hallucinate whatever he wanted them too. He could incite the fear of walking of a cliff, or the content of being with your love. Either way, he could bend people to his will easily. No one could match him in terms of mind control powers.

Except maybe E.T. You know, the E.T. sitting right next to Creampuff. The E.T. with the power ‘Extra’, meaning he can read minds. And has super strength. And super speed. And damn, E.T. was really out here Harley Quinn-ing this shit with his titanium baseball bat, specially made with rusty nails sticking out at random points  because goddamnit, go big or go home. He was named that because he’s literally an alien. LIke, came-down-in-a-ufo alien. And, quite surprisingly given his attributes, he had the perfect pretty boy look. Was he actually winking at Tadashi? Tadashi heard a dark laugh from the end out the couch. Crap, was that...

Hysterical, the craziest psycho to ever psycho. But now Tadashi looked at the man… he was the most beautiful person Tadashi had ever seen. And, being a superhero (if a self-thought lame one), Tadashi had seen many beautiful people. Hysterical, though…he was otherworldly. Tousled black hair, olive  green eyes, a lean but imposing figure. Tadashi had never seen anyone like him (although, despite the villain’s beauty, Freak still reigned number one on Tadashi’s People Tadashi Wants To Have Intercourse With list). Tadashi knew this was another case of don’t judge a book by its cover. Hysterical was called that for a reason. His laugh was known to chill you to the bone. For a reason, of course. He never laughed…unless he was murdering people. Not just a quick shot to the head, oh no, that would be too easy. Instead he ripped them apart, brutally chopping his targets open with a meat cleaver or his hatchet. Tadashi had seen the pictures of his victims. The most recent still had had a petrified look on his face, guts spilling out from his torn open body. Tadashi had to give Hysterical credit where credit was due, though. Hysterical’s casualties were arranged almost…artfully. The woman Hysterical had murdered prior had been draped gracefully over her moth-bitten couch, hands clasped peacefully across her chest. The only giveaway she had not passed away serenely was her screaming facial expression and disembowelment. Tadashi shivered at the thought of the murders. All in all, the five villains in the room with him made up IFETCH, their initials. And Tadashi was pretty damn scared.

Here Tadashi was, stumbling into a room with a deranged killer, extraterrestrial, Electrical Dude, LSD-personified, and his walking sexual desires. Great. Tadashi belatedly realized he should probably be panicking now, instead of checking out a bunch of villains. Well, to be fair, he was only checking out one of them. The one that was staring at Yamaguchi with a demeaning look on his face. “What’s wrong, Angel? Rethinking following me?” Nope, Tadashi internally thought. It was worth it to see that ass. Freak moved closer. And closer. And closer, until he was whispering in Tadashi’s ear. “Scared, Angel?” Tadashi had Harry Potter flashbacks and had to suppress a manic giggle. Of course he was laughing at a time like this. He was so fucking scared he did not know what else to do. He was beginning to realize why the captives the supers brought back from IFETCH always tend to have a smile on their face. In a situation such as this, where he was so utterly helpless and trapped, what else was he to do? Tadashi began to laugh outwardly now. Freak seemed unfazed. Tadashi supposed this was a fairly common response, which only made him laugh harder. “I’m, ha, in a room with fucking IFETCH. Of course I, ha, am, that’s-that’s just how shit goes. Ha ha ha ha.” Freak was smirking now. This served only to remind Tadashi of a Wattpad fanfiction, where the bad boy was always smirking. He was nearly in a ball on the floor now, he was laughing so damn hard. It was getting hard to breathe, and he began to hyperventilate. Dark spots began to flit around the corners of his vision. This is bad, he though. This is the worse time to pass out. He was just about to anyway, when he felt a crushing pressure on his chest. He looked up and saw Freak was pressing down on Tadashi with his foot, Tadashi noticing the bottoms of his trainers were a burnt orange. How interesting, Tadashi himself had an orange belt. The foot on Tadashi’s chest increased its pressure, pushing Tadashi back into reality. His mind wasn’t quite lucid yet, though, which caused him to grip weakly onto Freak’s ankle. “Hi.” He whispered. Freak seemed amused. “Hi.”

“As touching as this is, it doesn’t change that a superhero still managed to break into our complex.” Someone said. “Barely,” Freak retorted,” he couldn’t have without me. Got caught in one of our nets. Pretty lame, actually. But I took pity on him, so here he is.” “Can I play with him?” a different voice asked. Tadashi was pretty sure it belonged to Hysterical. “No,” Freak said, “He’s mine.” Something inside Tadashi squirmed happily at that comment. Apparently, Tadashi had a kink for possessiveness. He learns new things every day.

But not even Tadashi’s kinks changed Tadashi’s terrified state of mind. Here he was, lying on the floor, at the mercy of extremely strong supervillains who could tear him apart within half a second. This was bad. Very bad. Tadashi became aware of his hands still gripping onto Freak’s ankle, releasing them with a mumbled apology. Tadashi wasn’t sure why he was apologizing. Freak was not someone you would apologize too. Unless you were in trouble with him, which Tadashi supposed he was. Tadashi cringed. This was not good. He tried desperately to think his way out of the situation. What would one of his team members do in this situation. He supposed they were all powerful enough to fight their way out; if someone was powerful enough to escape from IFETCH, it was them. Tadashi still wasn’t sure why he had been placed on that team. He figured it was a mistake made when the higher ups took pity on him with his useless powers. Enough self-pity, Tadashi. He needs to get out of here, hopefully with minimal damage. To himself, really, he wasn’t worried about hurting IFETCH. He didn’t think he could.

Tadashi breathed deeply. There was no use in freaking out. All he needed was to get out of here. He decided to try to talk his way out of it. It was his only option, really. “So, uh, , how’s it going? I see- I see you’re all in good health.” He stuttered. Freak raised an eyebrow. What was Tadashi saying? “So, if you all could, uh, let me go that would be awesome…um, please?” Tadashi was getting desperate and had no real idea as to what he was saying. E.T. walked over to him. Shit. “Are you okay? You kind of broke down earlier and now you’re stuttering.” No. No Tadashi was not okay. But it wasn’t like he could say that. Freak had cracked a mocking smile at this point. He still had his foot on Tadashi’s chest. “Let the wimp speak. I wanna see what he can come up with.” Okay, so maybe Tadashi’s Walking Fantasy had a bit of a mean streak. Tadashi didn’t quite mind. But that was the least important thing right now.

Tadashi felt the weight on his chest lift. He scrambled back up and leaned against the wall behind him. “I’m not sure what you guys are going to do with me,” Tadashi began,” but I promise I won’t tell what I’ve seen here if you let me go. So please, let me go.” Tadashi said the last part with confidence. Or at least, he tried to. IFETCH still didn’t look all that impressed. Tadashi took a deep breath. In and out. In and out. He was going to get through this. He was going to return to his team. Alive.

Freak sighed. “Now you’re not being any fun. I have business to attend to right now, but I’m not sure if it’s in either of our best interests to leave you with these guys for now.” He said, gesturing to the others in the room. “So follow me.” Tadashi obeyed the command. He went through a different doorway this time, one he had previously failed to notice through all his confusion and panic. It was dark again, and Tadashi had to squint, his eyes having adjusted to the torch-lit room. He stumbled a little over uneven pavement, and, unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how he looks at it), that was the moment Freak stopped in front of another door, this one steel instead of black wood, like the previous two had been, so Tadashi bumped into Freak quite harshly. Freak stiffened. Oh shit, Tadashi thought, this isn’t good. As Tadashi panicked yet again, Freak opened the door. Tadashi tripped his way through the doorway, and looked up once he was reoriented. Not for the first time today, Tadashi was petrified. This was really bad for his heart. The room…the room was some Silence of the Lambs shit. It had unmarked white walls, white tile floor, bright lights on the white ceiling, and, judging by the lack of sound when the door was closed, was completely soundproof. It was a sensory deprivation torture room. Although it didn’t seem as though sensory torture was the only torture going on, because of the array of devices covering the walls and some of the tables. Everything from a bone saw, to a whip ending in jagged pieces of steel, to a nasty looking pair of pliers that seemed to be freshly cleaned and sanitized, judging by how clearly they reflected the room. In the center of the torture room were three metal tables. And on one of the tables…Tadashi’s flinched. There was a man, naked, strapped down with leather belts, seemingly unconscious. Tadashi began to back away to the doorway, he himself not really sure what he was trying to accomplish.

“Are you sure you want to do that,” Freak said,” if you leave, Hys might just get to you. Come with me.” Tadashi figured Hys meant Hysterical, and the thought made him whimper. The whimper seemed to echo in the dead silent room, mocking Tadashi for making such a shameful noise. Just the thought of being at Hysterical’s mercy…Tadashi shook his head to snap out of it. When he looked up, Freak was approaching the table with the man strapped to it. Freak had grabbed a small paring knife along the way, and was holding it loosely in his right hand. Tadashi numbly followed him, figuring there was nothing left to do other than to obey Freak’s commands. As Tadashi approached the man, he vaguely recognized the face. Wasn’t this the same man who was recently appointed governor? Tadashi shivered. If a man of that power could be strapped down like this, what could Tadashi do? Freak handed the small knife to Tadashi. “Now I want you to do what I tell you to. Okay?” Tadashi nodded. “Okay.”  Freak pointed to a spot in between the pectorals of the man’s chest. “Right there. I want you to cut it.” Tadashi hesitated. Why? Why was he going along with this? What did it really matter at this point though, there was no going back. Tadashi complied, making a small slice. Freak hummed. “Good. Now make it into a cross.” Tadashi made a second slice, this one longer, perpendicular to the first. He watched with a sick fascination as the blood oozed out of the thin cuts. He felt almost…powerful, in a twisted sort of way. His hands shook as Tadashi examined his work. This is what he had done. What he was doing. There was no going back.

Freak gazed on. “Angel, you have wings. I want you to draw them on this man’s chest.” Tadashi stammered, “I can’t-I’m not an artist.” “Just do it.” Was Freaks exasperated reply. Tadashi took a deep breath. He looked back at his victim to see the man staring at Tadashi with petrified eyes. “He’s awake.” Tadashi mumbled.” “Yes, indeed, not get on with it.” Freak responded, rolling his eyes. Tadashi focused back at the man. He was going to draw his wings on the man. He had to. Tadashi began to carve a vague outline of his wings on the man’s chest. He focused his full concentration on what he was doing, ignoring the man’s painful shrieks and furious attempts to get away. By the time Tadashi had finished the wings, the man had nearly passed out from the intense pain of slowly being carved open. The only thing that seemed to be keeping the man conscious was the occasional slap across the face he received from Freak. Tadashi came fully back into the present and felt his face stretched in a too familiar way. Was he…smiling? No, no that can’t be right. He was a superhero. Superheroes don’t smile, of all things, when they torture people. They do everything they can to avoid it. Him smiling, it was...wrong. Very wrong.

Freak seemed to find Tadashi’s current predicament amusing. “How cute. You’re smiling. Everyone seems to think you’re so innocent, but in reality, you’re just like me. You’re just like me, and Hys, and all the other psychopathic bad guys out there who gain sick pleasure from hurting others. You adorable twisted little thing.” 

Tadashi wanted to protest, wanted to say no, he was not like them, but he knew he couldn’t. Not when he was acting like this. Freak walked around the table to be next to Tadashi. He pulled Tadashi into his side, Tadashi just now realizing how tall Freak was. “Come on, it’ll be okay. You’ll be fun to have around. And when your oh-so-strong team comes looking for you, maybe my team can have some fun with them, just like we are right now. Wouldn’t that be nice?” 

Tadashi flinched. Right, his team. He wondered if they were worried about him right now. They probably were, he should have returned at least an hour ago. He thought about what they would do if they saw him right now, covered in the blood of what he assumed to be an innocent man, casually holding a knife he had used to carve an imprint of his own wings into the man’s chest. They would probably kick him out of the group. He’d never be looked at the same, possibly imprisoned.“Good boy.” Freak commended in a whisper, a finger at Tadashi’s chin, tilting it until their eyes met as he leaned in close, looming, lips nearly touching. Tadashi felt warm and blushed slightly. 

And to him, despite all those possibilities, it was worth it, just to get the praise of a man he had met barely hours before. It really, truly was. The blood dripping from his hands, the screams of the man, the thin cuts he had made all across the man’s chest…yes. It was all worth it. Everything. He made it worth it.

Chapter 30 - Harvest time

Grace had a hunch Nara was up to something, and it had something to do with Imperial Concubine Ling. After Nara told Ji Fei about Xian Fei’s adultery, and ever since the Emperor gave a persian cat to Imperial Concubine Ling, she had been extremely amiable and attentive towards the imperial concubine, and even the cat! Grace knew Nara had an strong aversion to dogs, so it was probable true that she was a cat person. But to like Imperial Concubine Ling’s cat so much that she would personally make treats for it? A treat which required ludicrous amount of effort?

First, Grace would have to ask for chunks of cooked fish, steamed sweet potato and fried peanuts from the kitchen when she collected their meals. Of course there was no such thing as a free lunch. Or free ingredients. Nara gave the junior cook tips on Qi Fei and Ji Fei’s favourite food and promised to mention his name as the one who helped to prepare their pickled vegetables. But naturally, Grace had never heard her mentioned anything to the consorts. In fact, she suspected that Nara had already forgotten his name.

Next, Nara would use a mortar to mash the fish and sweet potato together, then rolled them into small balls and coated them with the peanuts she already crushed to powder form. She would then ask Grace to leave the tray of fish balls outside the house to let the cold night wind harden them. Nobody would make such troublesome treat for a cat that does not belong to them. Especially not Nara. There was something fishy about it. Grace reminded herself perhaps she should flip through Alyse’s journal and check if Imperial Concubine Ling was going to be Nara’s next victim.  

One late afternoon, Nara packed some cat treats into a cloth package and told Grace they were visiting Imperial Concubine Ling. Grace found it rather odd because they would usually pay respects in the morning, but followed the noble lady anyway. The moment they stepped into the living room of the cosy house shared by the six imperial concubines, Imperial Concubine Ling’s cat strode to Nara and rubbed its body on her leg, meowing for her attention.   

“Oh Nara, my Rong’er likes you so much I think I’m starting to get jealous.” Imperial Concubine Ling chuckled lightly, sitting on her huali wood chair at the end of the living room. Grace wondered if that chubby imperial concubine had been sitting on her arse the whole day.

“Don’t worry, my Lady. I’m sure Rong’er knows who is her owner.” Nara smiled as she squatted down to pet the cat’s head tenderly. The moment she took the small package out of her gown, the cat meowed even louder. She took one ball out of the package and offered it to the cat on her palm, and it snatched it away with its paw immediately. Grace was pretty certain, the cat liked the treat more than it liked Nara.

“And you still haven’t told me what are the secret ingredients in this snack so that I can ask Dethenggo to prepare!” Imperial Concubine Ling waited for Nara to stand back up and beckoned her over.

“Don’t worry, my Lady. I can keep making it for Rong’er. I don’t wish to trouble Dethenggo.” Nara curtsied before sitting on the guest chair diagonally facing Imperial Concubine Ling, not forgetting to give the imperial concubine’s attendant a smile.

“You’re too kind, Nara! And talented! Not like my Dethenggo!” Imperial Concubine Ling grinned and Grace found her unbelievably crude to say that when her attendant was just standing next to her!

The two women had some small talk, mainly with Imperial Concubine Ling spending most of the time bragging about how sweet the Emperor was towards her, like how he asked the eunuchs to bring her favourite desserts to her. Nara was smiling and nodding in acknowledgement all the time. Then suddenly Nara grasped her hands together beneath her chin like she had a superb idea.

“My Lady, when we were walking over, I noticed that the sky was clear. Why don’t we bring Rong’er to the garden and watch the sunset?”

“Walk to the garden again? I just went there yesterday...” Imperial Concubine Ling was apparently a tad hesitant.

“But not to watch the sunset! And I’m pretty sure Rong’er would love to get out of the house after staying indoor the whole day!”

“Well, I guess you’re right… But you’ll have to make sure she doesn’t climb up the tree again!”

“I promise to keep an eye on her, my Lady.” Nara flashed her sweetest smile. The kind of smile that confirmed Grace’s suspicion that she had something up her sleeve.

Nara was pleased that the imperial concubine had followed her plan unknowingly, oblivious to the peril awaiting her. She had sowed the seeds for so long, she wanted to taste the fruit today. When Imperial Concubine Ling and Nara and their respective attendants arrived at the garden, the lower portion of the sky was already in a tangerine shade.

“I’m sure the sunset is going to be beautiful today, my Lady.” Nara promised with a smile.

“I believe you’re right.” The imperial concubine nodded in satisfaction and let the cat onto the ground. “Don’t run too far away, Rong’er. Understand?” Of course the cat ignored her and sauntered away.

“Shall we sit in the pavilion, my Lady?”

“Of course! I’m not going to watch the sunset standing!” Imperial Concubine Ling chuckled and walked towards the pavilion. Nara took the opportunity to case the garden and was glad that they were the only four people in the garden.

As the women resumed their small talks, the sun had moved closer to the orange horizon. It was still bright, but had transformed from a bright white pearl into a yellow apricot. The garden was getting slightly dim, albeit not dark enough to light a lantern. Nara reckoned she should move on to the next step in her plan.

“My Lady, do you know what’s the perfect companion to a beautiful sunset?” Nara asked with a smirk.

“Hmm… snacks?” It took Imperial Concubine Ling a while to answer.

“You’re right, my Lady! And a good pot of tea!”

“Oh that’s why I said you’re so smart, Nara!” The imperial concubine chuckled and turned to Dethenggo. “Go back and get us some snacks and a pot of hot tea.”

“Yes, my Lady.” Dethenggo curtsied and turned to walk away.

“Geleishiyi, you should help Dethenggo too.” Nara instructed Grace with a smile.

“Yes, my Lady.” Grace followed the other attendant, with a gut feeling that Nara had dismissed her on purpose.

As Nara watched the two attendants walked out of the garden, she took a few slow breath to calm her nerves and her slightly trembling hands. It was time to do what she had planned for so long. This was the opportunity she had been waiting for, and now she had to proceed without looking back.

“Oh, I think I should get Rong’er back in case she wanders too far away.” Nara stood up, her brows furrowed with concern.

“Of course, yes!” Imperial Concubine Ling nodded in agreement.

“Rong’er! Where are you dear?” Nara shouted as she walked out of the pavilion and onto the grass. There was no response. Carefully, she squatted down at the edge of the pond with her back facing the pavilion and took the small package of cat treats out of her gown and unwrapped it. Just as she had expected, the cat appeared from one of the bushes and ran towards her, meowing loudly. “Come here, Rong’er!” She beckoned and the cat answered.

“I’m sorry, Rong’er.” Nara muttered softly as she offered a fish ball to the cat. But this time when the cat tried to snatch it with its paw, she flung the ball into the center of the pond. And then the cat did what she wished it would. It jumped right into the pond.

“Oh no! No! Rong’er!” Nara yelled at the top of her voice and Imperial Concubine Ling rushed over immediately when she heard her cat’s name.

“What happened?! No! Rong’er!” She was stunned when she saw her precious cat struggling in the water.

“I… I don’t know what happened! She just jumped in!” Nara grabbed the imperial concubine’s sleeve, her voice shuddering.

“Rong’er… I think Rong’er can’t swim!”

“You need to save Rong’er, my Lady!”

“But I can’t swim too!”

“But if you don’t save her… His Majesty will be so furious!” Nara reminded Imperial Concubine Ling.

“You’re right! I have to save Rong’er!”

The imperial concubine took off her heels and jumped into the pond, stumbling towards the struggling cat that meowed incessantly. But eventually the water level reached her nose and she started to hyperventilate and gasp for air, her arms slapping on the water as she attempted to stay afloat. Nara knew the imperial concubine had reached the point where her feet could not touch the ground.

“Nara! Help me!” Imperial Concubine Ling screamed and choked as she swallowed more water.

“You’re fine! Just reach out to grab Rong’er and swim back! She’s just there!” Nara yelled back, pointing to the struggling cat which did seemed within reach and its meowing was getting softer. “Quick! She’s dying!”

Just as Nara expected, Imperial Concubine Ling tried to reach her hand out to the drowning cat, not realising that the pond would get deeper the further she moved towards it. But Nara knew. She had threw a heavy rock tied with a yarn into the pond so many times to measure its depth. To be certain that the pond was deep enough. She guessed this was what Geleishiyi meant by data collection.

Nara watched impassively as Imperial Concubine Ling drowned. Her arms moved frantically as she bopped up and down, she was swallowing too much water to scream for help. It took just a little while longer, and her head disappeared below the water. Just like the cat. Nara smiled as she looked up to the grayish blue sky, now tainted by reddish orange. As ripe as the fruit she could finally pluck from the plant she had so painstakingly watered and taken care of.  

When she heard footsteps walking towards the quiet garden, Nara took a deep breath and ran over to the two women returning. “Imperial Concubine Ling! She has… she has drowned!” Nara screamed as she grabbed Dethenggo’s arms.