So I recently went on the Indiana Jones wiki to learn more about Satipo since I'm drafting a fic and first off...I must say I love the picture that they use for his page:
But then I scrolled down to the Behind-the-Scenes section and I’m just like wtf?!
I’m glad he was a trooper though and didn’t just remain in British theatre. I would not like to live in a world where he didn’t grace American television and film. (Although I love his British work too.)
Still, I don’t blame him for being scared. I would not be down for that either. I’m not a huge fan of spiders. The only spider I like is Spiderman. (Okay, I’ll see my way out.)
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mario went on a fun colourful adventure while luigi gets sent to hell or something i dunno
but hey atleast he meets a sexy turtle dragon man that touches his face in a very homosexual way
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The Last Airbender (2010) is better than the netflix adaptation because the art created by an unstoppable force (weird auteur director who's whole oeuvre is awkward, tongue in cheek horror movies) and an immovable object (studio execs desperately trying to crank out an inoffensive family fantasy movie to be their own bespoke harry potter) coming together to taxidermy the acclaimed 9.3/10 on IMDB source material into one of the most inscrutable films of all time is just inherently more worthwhile than a show that's primary goal is to meekly regurgitate the events of the original story in a roughly accurate and nostalgic way in the hopes that The Fans will think it's better than M Night Shyamalan
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Me, watching the masterpiece that is del Toro’s Pinocchio:
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Okay but, people are always like "Bruce having dad strength isn't even canon" like, excuse me? The man that yanks his 6' 255 lbs son by the collar of his shirt in like 0.2 secs to save them both from the explosion that said son, dead-weight and reluctant to go, set up? The man that gives a piggyback ride to the same son who struggles and puts up a fight to be let go? The man who strips his bloodied, passed-out 5'5" 125 lbs son of his uniform and puts civvies on him to then carry him bridal-style to the hospital as of he were lifting a feather? The man who carries his dead 5'10" 175 lbs son in his arms for god knows how long? That man?
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I just love The Mummy (1999) so much like I've always felt it was a masterpiece, I was never able to pinpoint the exact reason but I think I got it in my last rewatch: every single character is extremely competent in a very concrete, punctual and once-in-a-lifetime helpful skillset, and then they're ABSOLUTE DISASTERS on literally EVERY OTHER ASPECT of their lives. Evy can read and Sherlock her way through literally any egyptian riddle like she was born for it, but PLEASE, DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, leave ANY sharp objects, unstable structures or even-remotely inflamable objects ANYWHERE near her she WILL find a way to unleash HELL IN HER SLEEP. Rick can smash-parkour-swordfight his way out of any scenario but he has to have ALL neurons completely focused on the ONE (1) task at hand and if he gets out-DudeBroed he loses all his hit points his health meter goes red and he surprise-resets like a forced Windows update (see following scene for reference)
And don't even get me STARTED on Jonathan. This absolute gem of a man really is willing to let his sister drag him to hell and back with only mild complaining and will stop her human sacrifice ritual while the priest is mid-swing with an "hey Evy look we found the book!" with the same energy as if he was proudly announcing he found his long-lost car keys behind the couch but we DON'T blame him because he correctly spent his one braincell on THIS scene that changed the history of cinema forever:
In conclusion everyone is so very capable and so very pathetic at the same time and thus we have no choice but to stan
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random thought but imagine a drunk Chuuya watching pinocchio. "i'm a real boy!" and Chuuya says cheers to that kid me too 😭🙏
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DAVE: the only time i ever saw my bro crying was when that one scene of the mlp movie where twilight yells at pinkie pie
DAVE: he was fucking devastated
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