#i refuse to watch until they make this canon! i will not be destieled again!! *pounds fist on table*
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pauuuuuuuuu i’ve got a question. i understand that you enjoy supernatural, so could you explain to me the whole destial thing? i’m like, fairly close to caving and committing myself to 15 fucking seasons of them and dean from gilmore girls (who i fucking hate(the character not the actor)) so like, i wanna know what i’m getting myself into, cause the only stuff i know is the meme that’s always going around, and that everyone and their mother is obsessed with dean winchester
OH MY GOD OH MY GOD @weeping-in-the-willows WE'VE DONE IT!!!
okay andi here we go its gonna be LONG (thats what she said?)
Destiel is a ship between two main characters, Dean Winchester, who is a monster hunter, and Castiel, who is an angel of the lord. Although Cas does not appear until season 4(?), when he does it's clear there's something going on between the two men (boys?), and, whether or not it's intentional, there's a LOT of gay subtext. I think they suffer a lot but it's worth it for the very few moments they get to enjoy, and you value them so much more which makes it so enjoyable.
As for Sam Winchester (Dean Forester), he's a young man with daddy issues who never met his mom and decided that instead of having that horrible monster hunter life he wanted to go to Stanford and study law and have a great academically successful life (Sam and Rory Gilmore would be best friends). He's a sweet, kind, smart, driven, ambitious (and hot) 22(!) year-old who would never voluntarily hurt a fly. Obviously life had other plans for him but what happens to him is up to you. Now, I will say that I'm not the biggest mid-series seasons Sam fan, but I think early Sam was one of my first fictional crushes and I still think of him fondly. His favorite singer is secretly Celine Dion.
Dean Winchester also has daddy issues but as in yes-dad-I'll-do-everything-you-say-so-that-you-love me-while-his-dad-still-loves-sam-more daddy issues (which I know all too well not not the time nor place), whereas Sam was more like "No dad, this is YOUR dream". Dean is like that jackass who thinks he's this huge deal and he think he's really hot and smart and always right, which is infuriating because it's true. But really imagine a giant teddy bear with a flannel. that's Dean Winchester. It's a bit funny but for him the most important thing ever is his family and he will fight with all his might to save it, blood or found, he will die for them over and over again with no regrets, except that one where his daug we don't talk about that. He's also incredibly funny, he likes Frozen and dad rock and pie.
Cas is an angel who very often forgets that. Funny thing about this guy is that they first portray him as like this scary creature, he's the most powerful thing they've ever faced and he's so intimidating but once they get to know him he's really just like if an alien saw a hot guy and went "that one". He talks to cats sometimes.
About the show itself, the firsts seasons they think they're like this moody, serious show, but as it goes on it quickly turns into a comedy. They meet Scooby-Doo once. There's a musical. Doctor Sexy wears cowboy boots. Dracula. Ghostfacers!
Now, I wouldn't go as far as "recommending" it to someone, but if i could start clean and had the choice to watch it again for the first time, I'd tell them put me back in it, and I would cry and curse and suffer, but I'd go through it again.
And that is all, unless Willow wants to add something?
Also I would avoid the last episode, I would not watch it if I were you, I wish I never saw it and I pretend it doesn't exist, it is not canon if I say it is not and I refuse to recognize it as such. Thank you.
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(if you are excited about the prequel or you're an AA, then this post is not for you. Do not read. This especially means you, AA's.)
So...
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Sigh, where do I even begin?
I have to admit that I have been extremely sus since hearing about the supposed plot leaks, then the casting (though I do love Meg Donnelly, watched her all 5 seasons on American Wife, she just does not fit the Mary bill for me, sorry), and just the overall reactions from every corner of the fandom. But this...this definitely took the half-underbaked and half-burnt cake.
Am I happy to see Dean again? Absolutely! I'm also curious to know when his time line allegedly takes place (many speculate it's in between 15x19 and 15x20), and why he has the drive to figure out the "truth" behind his parents' getting together and what that entails. For a second even, not going to lie, I had momentary hope when seeing him and then the Samulet hanging from the rear view mirror that maybe if it does take place after 15x19, then maybe he and Sam (though obviously Sam is MIA) are trying to figure out a way to get to the Empty to get Cas or maybe Dean is trying to locate Jack (I doubt it's Chuck) or The Empty or even Sam himself with the Samulet. (Yes, I am aware not everything is about Destiel or even Castiel, especially in a J/M prequel, but I was trying to connect the dots in my mind story wise as to why Dean is by himself on this "journey" for the "truth" about his parents despite knowing the real bts reason) And I thought for another hot second that maybe I was on the right track when we saw the split second scene of Cas' entry into the barn from 4x01. Why else choose that particular shot to put into the trailer when this prequel only has one episode in the can, right? Especially when they could have just as easily used other shots from the OG series? (I refuse to call it the mothership btw, that just sounds weird to me)
But then I watched the rest of it and...yeah.
The shots of Dean seem to me to be the darkest and grittiest, which makes sense based on the look of the OG show, Jensen mentioning they purposely used a different tint/look in this series to discern the two stories/shows, and the need to visually distinguish the timelines of Dean and then John and Mary.
The voiceover...gotta be honest, it's Dean's voice (obviously) but doesn't sound like Dean.
The first monster John and Mary face off against -- is this the famed Australian wendigo from the supposed script leak? To me, it looks like a guy in a badly burnt rubber Godzilla suit. That whole sequence has me feeling Indiana Jones vibes when it came to J/M.
The MOL book, while it's got the insignia, it just feels wrong. Maybe it's because we all know that John never knew about the MOL until 14x13. And we also know that if this prequel is going to stick to canon, that when it comes time for it to end, the only way they can connect back to the OG series is to have J/M effectively mindwiped in some way, due to a spell, the MOL, a Cupid, or Chuck/Jack/Heaven. But to me, while this is minute and maybe a silly detail to pinpoint, it feels like even the props used are different. The only thing that feels connected is Baby which is obviously with Dean.
I will admit that during the John returning home montage, some of the scenes gave me that old nostalgic SPN feel (especially the 'Welcome to Lawrence' sign). Even John's interaction with his mom. But that quickly goes away when Mary is first introduced.
While SPN has its comedic moments for sure, it needed time to grow into that in order to put that right out there as promo for an episode. Tbf, the 1st season of the OG series was billed as a horror show. We did see some laughable moments happen between Sam and Dean, even in the pilot, but ultimately it needed time before the show started its shift and we got comedy heavily promoted. For example, you didn't see a season 2 episode promoted the same way as a season 10 episode. But here, the comedy (which to be quite honest is extremely laughable and I don't mean that in the way they were hoping) is not only brought to the forefront (taking the focus off of the monster imho which again, if this connects to the "mothership" that should be the focus) but it's done in such a ridiculous way. The timing of these two actors was awful and the moment went on way too long for a trailer (which means it most likely will be worse when watching the whole thing). Maybe it will play out better in the episode but I tend to doubt it. This whole moment was meant to not only introduce J/M's dynamic and show John's inexperience and naivete to the world of monsters, but also to showcase Mary and essentially highlight her as a badass. Why else the music and the slowdown of the kick and focusing on her action?
It just felt off kilter tbh and it because it felt so off, it was hard to stay immersed in the rest of the trailer. I only saw Taylor from American Housewife has gotten some martial arts training, that's it.
Then she starts explaining they were just fighting a demon and John follows her, asking who she is. "You don't want any part of this life." Definitely something Mary would say but the way Meg delivers it, it's like...I don't know, it just really does not have the whole Mary/SPN vibe you know?
And sure enough, the rest of the trailer is spent introducing this new story (which is fine) but starts to feel like I'm watching a new Legacies or Originals series trailer.
And going back to the barn scene mentioned above -- why is it in there? Why after John asks Mary if she knew Henry Winchester? What was the point? (that's why I'm thinking it must be somehow story related, maybe to indicate Heaven "putting" the two together, but they literally could have used any other shot from the OG series to do this)
Mary is looking for Samuel, cue the eye roll. "Dad was hunting demons and now he's missing." Where have I heard that one before? It's one thing to call back to the pilot in a cool, creative way but this is just not even subtle. Plus, what do we see Mary in? A leather jacket. I'm assuming somehow this show will have that become John's at some point to connect back to the first show? Sigh. We all knew Dean was Mary's mirror but this is just so on the nose, it feels almost tacky and disrespectful to the OG show.
The only characters I felt interested to learn more about (and that's putting it kindly) was Carlos and Latika, especially Carlos. Now his intro scene in the trailer, that was interesting. If I had to pick a favorite part of this whole thing, that was it.
Then we see the rest of it which again just seems like more ripoff Indiana Jones vibes in a terrible mashup with the original SPN. Or like they pulled SPN characters into a parody of the IJ films.
The next monster -- maybe this is the Australian wendigo? Holy Toledo.
Then John tells Mary "When I was a kid, I always thought there was a monster under my bed. My dad always told me 'Don't worry, son. I know how to trap it.'" Again, where have I heard this before?
Btw nice casting of John's mom. Wasn't that Natasha from Dawson's Creek the same season Jensen was in? Interesting.
And here we go again with the Legacies/Originals vibes. If this wasn't proof that this prequel is really a reboot playing to the current CW teen audience (hence the vibes), I don't know what will.
Okay, there's the Australian wendigo, has to be. Or else it's one of the guys in an Underworld Lycan suit that also went through an unfortunate fiery incident.
And now, we are even starting to get slightly Walking Dead: World Beyond vibes (the promo of that show I mean). Once again, it's obvious the demographic they are targeting here.
"Saving people, hunting things, Mom, this is what I was born to do." Not only are they using that line, but now John's mom knows about it, too?
Once again going back to the tint/look, I now get even more why they kept the bluish tint for Dean's scenes. They're really looking to connect this to the OG show in some way still even though it's becoming more and more evident that this will be really tough for them to pull off.
And then the kicker:
When seeing this (after seeing this trailer), how am I supposed to take this seriously? That is literally a CW teen show title screen (and once again, I get it, the CW is doing the marketing/promotion). Look at it. Yes, okay, the swampy area is meant to indicate their location, I get it, but that title itself is fully CW teen. I mean, even right down to their promo pics:
I also get that this is CW marketing, again for the demographic they're really pushing for, but I gotta say, after seeing this trailer, it just really does not feel like it's something I'd personally be interested in watching. I'm an OG fan, just like I was of TVD, but this feels like it's going down the Charmed reboot path, the Legacies path, and while I'm not hating on those shows at all (I loved The Originals myself), they were intended for a very specific demographic/audience. Some OG fans did move over to those new shows (like myself) but that's a tough stretch for any OG fan of a 15-year running show. That transitioned to the new iteration of the network it had been on. That literally was the first of its kind in a way. And became a legacy show. I mean, what if Grey's Anatomy wrapped up this year, and two years down the line a new show started telling Meredith Grey's parents' love story, when they met in a hospital? Maybe that's not a great example but you get my point.
Dean is literally going to have to be the sun that all of these other things are going to be orbiting around. Which is setting these characters and this story up to fail. Big time. I'm not saying the show will not succeed in its run (meaning ratings wise) but if you think it won't go story wise the way Riverdale and Legacies did, think again.
I am so happy to see Dean again but at what cost? It hurts to feel this way about this project because I am an OG fan, I am a Jensen fan, I do love Meg (Idk anything about the other cast members tbh), and of course a fan of Robbie's, and I want all to do well and succeed in this venture, but this is just terrible. Perhaps another route taken story wise would have been the best way to go? A venture into another character's story? Maybe Bobby when he was married, then met Rufus, etc.? (they could have brought in a younger Ellen, too) Maybe Rowena and her centuries as a witch? Maybe even Henry Winchester's own story with the MOL? (expanded upon from what we saw in the OG show) Or even Samuel and Deana's own story? The Campbells are a line of hunters, right? They could have gone that way. Or doing what the TWD universe did (though tbf FTWD has just become awful these days) and creating two whole new story lines within the universe but then having it come back and all connect in the end. This way we don't lose our OG story line and characters, but the audience can become invested in new characters and new story lines (in addition to the OG) but that remain within the universe. Then it can connect to this 'one more case' series Jensen has talked about in some way. I don't know but it just feels like they could have gone any other way for their first venture out of the gate.
I thought maybe this was the condition W*B laid down for the Ackles with CM or CW, that if there was going to be a new SPN project, it had to have Dean/Jensen in some way (to help retain the original audience & to link back to the legacy show) & it would have to be entirely new to draw in newer and younger audiences, that would guarantee ratings, before the door could be fully opened to something down the line for Dean and Sam to come back and/or to tell other SPN stories. The CW tried and failed to launch two spin-off series in this universe and W*B/CW was determined that if they tried again, this time it was going to succeed, so they were going to ensure certain things occurred in this proposed spin-off aka prequel. I'm not in the industry so I have no idea how that all works but the more I've seen in interviews about this show, the more questions I have.
Look, regardless of my personal opinion on the matter, I do wish success for the cast, Jensen, and Robbie regardless. I'm not hating on any of them or even the show itself. Maybe by the time this thing premieres, I might feel differently and give this series a shot (for Jensen, Robbie, and the cast if nothing else), but as of right now:
I have to be honest and I never thought I'd say this because I am very protective of Yellowstone and 1883 by extension (you can't tell me that people and other networks haven't tuned into the success of that series/franchise and taking notes, just saying) and for obvious reasons but this looks more interesting to me to check out:
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It's true, I love Katherine McNamara all by herself and I love the time line this is set in (as well as the cast, I don't know anything about the rest of them but I love the setup and dynamics in play already) but I have to say this looks very interesting. I have not seen one episode of Walker nor am I interested to honestly, but this one, I may just check out when it premieres. This looks promising to me.
I have no idea how it connects to the Walker universe set up by the original show (meaning Jarpad's version) but as a new possible viewer, this setup feels as if it's enough on its own.
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a 911 buddie rec list
a rec list for @heathyr but honestly anyone else with taste 💅🏽 all completed except for the lil bonus fic. i have fallen deep into this fandom and i haven't even watched the show yet, send help
of men and angels by extasiswings - 13k, rated T
Lots of repressed biphobia and PTSD but GOD did this make me cry, honestly made my top list of fics
Leave the Light On (I'll Be Coming Home) by HMSLusitania - 44k, rated M
would you like some pain? lots of angst with a side of childhood trauma? major character death except NOT so this is my favorite type of angst with a happy ending.
Close My Eyes and Stumble (Right Into Your Love) by HMSLusitania - 22k, rated M
honestly anything by HMSLusitania is gold. this one is basically what if Eddie instead of Abby and i dig it but i also never really cared for abby much?
your love got me slippin' by An_Optimist_Prime, Tails89 - 2k, rated T
a short ficlet but had me cackling
Buck Down Under by scarletmanuka - 75k, rated M
i didn't think i'd like this at first because OCs tend to be very hit or miss but this was great!! i also learned a lot about australia and it hit all my heart strings
the blues, and then purple-pink skies by lecornergirl - 8k, rated T
secret relationship fics are usually fun antics but this has some absolutely riveting calls and damn i'd love to see them played out on the screen (with the buddie of course)
all good things come to an end (but it's not the end) by wafflesofdoom - 11k, rated E
friends w benefits but platonic. honestly reminds me of one of my fave teen wolf fics no homo, but with "platonic" and i love it
Five Minutes by Onelonely_tortillachip - 72k, rated M
cowboy!buck and angst with a happy ending, what more do you need?
ripples all the way down by iriswests - 57k, rated M
i saw parent trapping in the tags and i was sold. i never loved kidfic until this fandom and christopher diaz really IS a national treasure.
Does Your Firehouse Know? by allyasavedtheday - 7.5k, rated T
short but satisfies that friends mondler arc i wanted for buck and eddie with chim suffering in the best way 😈
With A Little Help From My Friends by extasiswings - 3k, rated T
eddie makes friends who aren't buck and learns what actual friendship looks like vs being in love with your best friend
the distance to the stars by cloudydaisies - 27k, rated G
absolutely adorable with a lil punch in the gut near the end but absolute sweetness. a fluff sandwich if you will
Buy Back the Secrets by allyasavedtheday - 19k, rated T
amnesia!buck knows he's in love with eddie and it's adorable. i just love amnesia tropes tbh 🙈
before the night fades by MilenaDaniels - 8k, rated T
POV outsider which when done well I loooove and this one totally satisfied that, esp as former food service
bonus WIP:
Just My Luck by DarkFairytale - 59k, rated T, incomplete status but updating still
I don't usually read WIPs but this one was v cute and also has sort of concluded the main arc so if it never got completed i'd be okay? but i hope it does
#buddie#i don't even go here#tv: 911#fic recs#i refuse to watch until they make this canon! i will not be destieled again!! *pounds fist on table*#i will be using this tag every time to explain myself from now on#also i can edit in tumblr links for authors if you want me to just message me! i just wasnt sure if ppl wanted that shared!!#buck x eddie
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“Despair” and Cas’ Fall
*record scratch* *freeze frame* I bet you’re wondering how I got here. Oh that’s right, it’s because Destiel is canon now and I can talk about it forever and will continue to do so.
Let’s talk about Cas’ fall.
So now we know, Cas was falling from the second he met Dean, but let’s talk about that journey.
I think Cas tried, for a while, to refuse to admit that he felt *something* in regards to Dean. I don’t think it was love, not yet, but for him to feel anything at all for him is what kickstarts the beginning of his fall.
He’s a solider, supposed to follow orders and not think for himself, and he tries to do that, tries not to care about Dean, about humanity, about the loss of human life, but he does.
The idea of “caring” comes up early between Dean and Cas, and I think Cas spends a lot of time, before the other angels realize that he’s straying down a path that they deem “undesirable,” trying to understand why Dean is as selfless as he is, why does he care so much?
I don’t think Cas ever really figures it out, but he begins admiring it, emulating it in a way. This is the conscious start of his fall (internally anyway), he tries to understand humanity by understanding Dean.
Already he’s comfortable confiding in Dean, telling him things he likely wouldn’t tell another angel, let alone a human.
And then, in 4x10, the first admittance of what will come to be the ultimate truth:
Even then, Cas is forced to take a step back, already Heaven is questioning him, why he’s so concerned with this human.
Dean saves Cas for the first time, and again the question: why? Why would Dean save him when he’s already angry at them for taking Anna? Why would he risk his life to save Cas? Why does Dean care?
Already Uriel has had to take the lead from Cas, because Cas can’t be trusted, he has to be watched, make sure that he doesn’t put Dean’s needs in front of the mission. Because Cas is beginning to care which he, as a soldier, shouldn’t do.
Falling for a human. Disgusting. Beneath the level of an angel. Why pay attention to them, they are God’s creation, but not worth an angel’s time. Why care about them?
And doubt leads to disobedience, because what if they’re asked to kill Dean? Could Cas follow through?
Cas doesn’t care about Alastair, he doesn’t care if Alastair gets tortured, but he does care about Dean, he cares that this will hurt him. The doubts have been planted: is this right, is is right not only to torture to get the information they need, but is it right to put Dean through this for their purposes?
And when Dean is beaten within an inch of his life by Alastair, that’s when Cas goes to Anna, begins openly questioning his doubts, the idea of disobedience.
It all comes down to Dean.
I have a theory...
That Cas didn’t consciously disobey, didn’t actively make the decision to go against his orders until Dean prayed to him.
He can’t say anything exact, can’t step in directly, but he can give Dean information he shouldn’t know, information that he can use to his advantage.
This is Cas’ choice, consequences of the disobedience be damned.
When he steps in directly, he is punished, and severely, enough to make him take a step back, at least convince himself for a time that he can still follow orders, that he doesn’t care about humanity, that he doesn’t care about Dean.
But it’s not enough, the torture he experienced in Heaven, it’s not enough. Though it scared him back in line, the second Dean asks, he considers telling him everything again.
Dean’s love for humanity, for his family, for those around him is what is driving him here, he doesn’t want the world to suffer the Apocalypse, because he knows what Hell is like.
When it comes down to it, the question for Cas remains: why? Why should he care? And this is the first time he hears why, and it’s also the first time Dean Winchester really changes him.
So Cas brings up his own fears, the feat he thinks all humans must suffer from: the fear of dying, of death. Surely, even Dean is afraid of that.
But Dean is always surprising him.
This is the end of the arc of Cas’ initial fall: this final choice, the choice to blatantly disobey, to choose humanity over the angels, the choice to sacrifice himself for humanity. Make no mistake, I’m not saying that Cas did all this to make Dean happy, he didn’t, this was his own choice, a series of choices, an understanding of right and wrong, a feeling that humanity is worth saving, but the catalyst of this is Dean. And we see that over and over and over again, for the next decade.
I think so much of Cas’ feelings are repressed, twisted and tangled around his confusion around his falling: why did he choose humanity? Likely, deep down, he knows, just as those around him know.
And over and over, when it came down to it: angels or Dean, victory or Dean, Cas will always choose Dean.
This season, we’ve seen Cas grow, learn to accept the way that he feels, and finally, in “Despair” he says the thing he’s likely known for over a decade out loud. That he loves Dean, that he has always loved Dean, and that his lvoe for the world, his love for humanity, is because he knew Dean.
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An anti dressed up as a shipper, an idiot, and a terf all walk into the same bar.
It’s the same picture person.
A lesson.
Warning: if the title doesn’t give it away, queerphobic content comes up in this from the other party being documented.
So, some of you may have watched a twitter exercise yesterday.
It started simple: concern trolling white knight “for the writers” comes in to angrily declare fans doing something tagged in support of them about Destiel was “out of line.” She claimed things like “Misha was gaslit into supporting Destiel”, and pulled all kinds of stunts.
She immediately got on a soap box yelling “I HAVE A LIT CRIT DEGREE, I KNOW AUTHOR INTENT” of course implying she knew better than EVERYONE around her how to read text. She then pulled, of all things, @chill-legilimens ‘ article about the network gods gutting the show out of the internet, and somehow misread it SO FUCKING BADLY -- SO FUCKING BADLY -- she thought it aligned with HER. She argued that fans influenced the writers, essentially, and basically pulled the exact opposite of the very clearly delivered message there out. When it was pointed out we know this author and even sometimes help edit their pieces, and she was, flat out misreading it while bragging about how good she is at deciphering text, it turned into a SHITSHOW.
I had watched her give a large group of queer people 2 days of runaround, while they tried to be polite, and similarly tried to prove everything while she proved nothing. Just preached. After 2 days of them exhausting themselves on her, I came in doing my blunt & savage thing, because fuck civility culture when it’s used by oppressors. Of course, she immediately started tone policing, while herself being an arrogant shitbrick the whole way.
She continued to preach author intent and talk down about “headcanons.” You see, she knew the authors very well. Berens’ name was mentioned in passing, and she came back with. “Who’s Berens? Is that the author of the article?” after Deirdre’s name had been directly cited in associated with it about 15 times.
(credit: @judgehangman )
But it gets better. She started pulling the “authors have said Dean is straight.” line. Now, at this point, we had already sourced her at least four pieces of information (quite formally too: SPN Official DVD Collection Season 8 episode 13 creative commentary, Edlund and Sgriccia; Dissent Magazine The Attack Queers Bob Berens review; the books in the office with screenshots, and more.) So we issued one simple request: Okay. Source.
For the next-- I shit you not-- 10 hours she bricked the thread to death, finding any and EVERY rabbit hole she could try to venture down. For the first hour or two a few of us tried to actually debate her newly raised points, but still gave reminder that we were waiting for her source. Every tweet was an opportunity for her to drop a 15 tweet thread trying to derail onto a new topic, and often clarifying she had no idea about any of it (Edlund, Sgriccia, Berens, Dabb--who she couldn’t spell the name of--and Deirdre all became an amorpheous blob in her retelling that she swore she looked at sources and wasn’t convinced, while she crossed all the data and comments about the sources). She tried to challenge that anyone could know all the writers and episodes just because she proved she couldn’t, even when multiple people expressed it to her extremely rapidly with not just author and director listings, but cross references on when they overlapped and major elements (like the 15.20 shot 19 tree being the Kim Manners memorial tree). She randomly babbled about Kripke once. Lied her way through and claimed those sources were vague. Etc.
But at some point, I decided, we’re not playing this distraction game. You wanted a debate, you claim you have a lit crit degree, and thus know the entire art is Argumentation. A source, if you’re declaring knowing author intent. One source. Any time she dropped a distraction tweet, I replied to her thread with things like a list of our sources vs her lack of any and a reminder. I installed a counter ticker. How many times had she been asked to either recant her point or give a single source?
Someone made a list of the logical fallacies she used in the argument. It was two tweets long and still missed several obvious ones. That didn’t stop her. Neither did the dozens of requests for a source or a recant. Onwards, she marched, derailing time and again. She brought in a buddy to try to distract, but he fell out real quick when he realized “the burden of proof lies on the arguer” shot him and her both in the feet in record time and he ducked out.
Other greatest hits came out like “Dubs (Dabb’s) fanfic books”, and calling the ability to list authors and episodes “headcanons.”
Over time, the dialogue shifted: see, she came in trying the snide “enjoy your headcanons” downtalk, but as time and time again she was pulverized on every point about the show, or the authors, or anything else while STILL never even giving a single source to even her FIRST POINT and running distractions, it became a reality-- she was told, “We’ll enjoy our canon and author intent. You can enjoy your headcanon of... Dabb’s fanfic books and Lord Barons and the writers being collective hallucinations and whatever else in your hot takes about the show content itself” and she FLIPPED SHIT.
As the ticker for sources approached 100, she started becoming flustered. Before that, even, she started repetitively misgendering Ezra (no tumblr to link in), and Ezra screenshot their bio of they/them and asked them to adjust. Ignored. Ezra linked this request and asked it to be addressed again, and again, and again. 13 times. Ezra linked it 13 times. She even replied to several of them. No avail. No change. Not until literally any and every tweet in her vicinity either had “source?” or “address gender?” for her to reply to did she flee there, and write some giant write-around of “oh, I didn’t see this, sorry” but still refused to actually use it. Or “I’ll use the right one now.” No, just completely strickened pronouns from her vocabulary with Ezra moving forward, after not one mistake, not two, not five, but 13 answers.
At this point, I notice a trend: throughout the entire conversation, she had flip flopped on my pronouns, clearly confused as to what to call me. As I generally don’t care (honestly I prefer he but meh), it didn’t ping me as something to react to while she switched religiously between “he” and “she”. But I realized now, despite all of that confusion: she never once thought to use “they.” Also earlier we found tweets of hers that, while now declaring herself bisexual, she used troublesome wording in the past to blur the line on if she was an ally or, as she phrased it “maybe less than 100% straight in the bell curve” in other conversations.
I mutter about this on the side to Ezra and some friends, but continue on towards the 100 ticker that was the goal to show people in this digital terrarium how disingenuous most people you argue with are -- an exhibit for the class. They know they’re lying and have been caught, but will not cede to admit “oops, I guess I was wrong.” but rather stick, unironically, to their own headcanons about things. After all, they vaguely sorta apologized even if suddenly just refusing to use any pronouns at all on Ezra after that. And she’s so quick to disappear into 15 tweet bombs of distraction trying to play victim for being held accountable at this point, we just didn’t jump to a conclusion on that, alarming as it is.
So. You know. Source.
At this point, she RANDOMLY starts evoking the fact that like, How Dare, She Watched Gay Men Die To AIDS, She Is A Great Philanthropist How Dare How Dare.
I’m sorry, did you just evoke the blood of our dead to run away from the most basic scrap of accountability in what is literally the first wave of a lit debate because for the last 10 hours you have refused to take the necessary steps to move on to the next point? Did you... just... evoke the ghosts of gay men that were genocided to, essentially, pull up a smokescreen and run away from being party to queer erasure? Or even just? Giving a source? or admitting you were wrong on one point in a debate? Wow, you really just did that.
Naturally, people involved got pissed. Her Sources ticker hit 100, but at this point, all that haunted her was how completely fucking vile and inappropriate that was in this discussion.
She got blocked. She then tried to glom onto anyone that hadn’t blocked or muted her and run the same argumentation points she had earlier been decimated in the argument with, while yelling “I ship Destiel too! I wanted them to have sex too! Why does this make me the bad guy?” around the block and hoping nobody actually read the thread. She tried to pitch the “headcanons” point of view again, hoping a new audience would lick her boots. She was, largely, ignored; given a few more comments about her leaving the conversation losing all points and only covered in the blood of our dead she was so proud of; blocked by a few more. (unsurprisingly, if you check her actual tweet history, she seems more invested in Megstiel but)
This is when CommaSameleon -- a professor with two lit degrees and a primary focus in teaching the art of Argumentation -- literally -- stepped in. She initially tried to engage the fact that, well, this woman not only can’t argue out of a paper sack but wasn’t even arguing, she was just running in circles and distracting from all the points and hadn’t addressed a single lit point directly while preaching down at people. But Sam, also, noticed something. This woman kept changing things like “queerphobia” to “homophobia.” Sam mentioned this kinda puts off TERF vibes (I think Sam picked up on the gendering thing herself too.)
Her response? Which she deleted since? But Discord’s embed helpfully saved?
Her inacted non-apologies remain weak, especially in any form of debate be it lit or now queer topics.
Oh I’m sorry, let’s recap her viewpoints: TERF is a slur. “They” is made up and should be avoided at all costs. The blood of dead gay men are a token to use in a lit debate you’re avoiding responsibility in. After this, “authors are headcanons” is suddenly not your worst take, but fascinating that you 13 times didn’t even read the blatant ass screenshot. And I mean, these weren’t subtle or easy to miss these 13 times.
100. She had 100 chances, literally, on a timer, to give a source or shut up with her platforming until she had one. Instead, she chose every rabbit hole she could manifest to disappear into, only to be met by another request for a source, and not moving on until we address the first points. We’ve given ours, now you give yours. Instead, you choose this. This is the hill you choose to die on, rather than admitting, “Sorry, I guess I was wrong” or “I guess I heard that somewhere, my bad.” 100 chances. 13 direct QT requests to address gender which she replied to but didn’t reply to until cornered (and still didn’t, truly, reply to), and “TERF is a slur.” Oh, and after waving around the dead men’s blood she also suddenly Can’t Be A Terf Because She Adopted Two Trans Kids. Lord help those children. Or, you know, the more realistic thing is she’s just manifesting all kinds of bullshit at this point to save face, which is probably why she deleted all the related tweets that show she’s a giant-ass TERF.
So anyway, this is very much a lesson on:
Paying attention to how people manipulate conversation to erase genuine discussion and debate.
Paying attention to WHY they do it. Motivation on methods and tactics will clear up a lot.
Figuring out HOW they try to sound woke about shit and when it’s entirely fucking vile and inappropriate to pull
And by all above points, figuring out that these people are among us, and how NOT to let them influence your conversations.
I don’t care if it’s about a discussion on a ship or show or anything else. People do this. A lot. Extremely dedicatedly, if the 100 asks doesn’t make that clear.
Stop letting people railroad your conversations with disingenuous bullshit.
So anyway in honor of this I made everyone a gif
Use at will. It’s tagged anti-terf if you want to use the search feature on it.
UPDATE:
Just went and checked. She went and deleted literally her entire side of the conversation, hundreds if not thousands of tweets. Luckily, Ezra mentioned repeatedly -- and I do trust them inherently -- that they were saving the entire conversation, so that zip file exists somewhere. How fascinating, after she accused us that we would want to delete tweets. Someone realized they had a bad look and giant failure all around.
Also, a related anon that links to an earlier part of this conversation I didn’t even document where she was crying about “cis erasure” [x] This shit went on so long I legit forgot about that.
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four is a magic number
wc— about 1.6k
jack, my beloved 4 year old. happy birthday!!
On any given day, Jack was a bundle of energy. He was almost constantly brimming with excitement, pulling whoever was nearby off for some escapade or another. Hence why Cas wasn’t surprised when he woke up to a small body jostling the bed and small hands shaking his shoulder.
“Daddy! Dad, guess what?”
Cas grumbled something into his pillow. He loved Jack, but it was far too early to be awake.
“It’s my birthday!” Jack declared.
Next to him, Cas felt the bed shift as Dean sat up.
“It sure is, kid,” Dean said. “How old are you again?”
“Four!” Jack said.
“Four, huh? You’re getting old,” Dean teased, then added, “How do you feel about birthday pancakes?”
Jack’s grin widened. “Yeah!” Then, he started shaking Cas’ shoulder again with renewed importance. “C’mon, Daddy! Dad’s gonna make birthday pancakes!”
Cas mumbled something into his pillow along the lines of, “That’s great, Jack.”
Dean huffed a laugh. “I think Daddy needs a little more sleep.”
The shaking stopped. “But isn’t he excited?” Jack asked, a little more subdued. “It’s my birthday and you’re making birthday pancakes.”
“He’s very excited,” Dean said, “He just needs his coffee.”
“Oh,” Jack said, nodding seriously. “If we make him his coffee will he come in for birthday pancakes?”
“Yup,” Dean said. He leaned over and pressed a kiss to the top of Cas’ head before pulling back to stand up.
“Can I give Daddy a kiss, too?”
There was a small, soft smile on Dean’s face. “Sure.”
Jack pecked the same spot on Cas’ head where Dean had kissed him. “There’s your kiss, Daddy.”
“Alright,” Dean said. “Let’s let Daddy sleep now. You ready for those pancakes?”
Jack cheered and scrambled off the bed. He grabbed Dean’s hand and dragged him out of the room, presumably in the direction of the kitten.
on ao3 here, or continued under the cut.
Cas took another fifteen minutes or so before following them.
Jack was propped up on the kitchen counter, legs swinging as he watched Dean mix the batter. When he caught sight of Cas, he beamed.
“‘Morning, Daddy!” He pointed towards the coffee machine. “I helped Dad make you your coffee. He let me sit on the counter!”
“I see that,” Cas said, moving towards the coffee, but not before giving Jack a small smile and saying, “Happy Birthday.” He was in the midst of pouring himself a mug when two arms wrapped around his waist.
“Sleep well, Sunshine?” Dean pressed a kiss to the side of his neck.
“I did.” Cas put down the coffee to turn around and peck Dean on the lips.
Jack giggled from his perch.
Dean rolled his eyes. “What is it, Jack?”
“You an’ Daddy are being cute,” Jack said. “Claire says it’s gross.”
“Don’t listen to Claire,” Dean said, moving back towards the stove. “She doesn’t know what she’s talking about.”
“Dean,” Cas scolded lightly, taking a sip of his coffee.
“But she’s older than me,” Jack reasoned.
“Yeah, but I’m older than her.” Dean began to pour batter onto the griddle.
“And I’m much older than both of you,” Cas reminded Dean, “and Jack can listen to Claire.”
Dean grumbled, but didn’t argue.
“Can I tell you a secret, though, Jack?”
Jack leaned forward eagerly. “Uh-huh!”
“Claire is cute with Kaia a lot,” Cas said, winking conspiratorially.
That set off another fit of giggles.
Dean shook his head fondly. “You’re a dork, Cas.”
Cas took another drink, smiling. “You love me for it.”
“True.” Dean flipped the pancakes, offered Cas a grin, then turned to Jack. “So, birthday boy, what do you wanna do today?”
It was all incredibly domestic and Cas could hardly believe it. There they were, him, Dean, and Jack, celebrating a birthday. Sam, Eileen, Garth, Bess, Jody, Donna, and the girls were all set to come over in a few short hours. A year ago, they had been, yet again, trying to prevent an apocalypse, but now…
“Cake!” Jack said.
“I think cake sounds like a good idea,” Cas agreed.
Now, it was nice to see them all so happy. Not quite carefree, but not constantly looking over their shoulders. Getting to have— getting to enjoy— these little moments.
“And presents,” Jack added.
“We can do that after everyone else gets here,” Cas promised.
“Actually,” Dean said, piling a stack of pancakes onto a plate, “I have one present that you can open before everyone shows up.”
Jack’s eyes widened. “Really?”
Cas squinted at Dean. “You do?”
“Yeah,” Dean said. There was a satisfied shine to his eyes. “But first… birthday pancakes!” He set the plate on the table with a flourish.
Cas set down his mug and moved to help Jack off the counter.
The moment Jack’s feet touched the floor, he was racing over to the table, taking in the stack of pancakes, topped with a generous amount of whipped cream and four brightly colored candles.
“What do you say to your dad, Jack?” Cas prompted gently.
“Thank you, Dad!” Jack looked at them hopefully. “Can I blow out the candles?”
Dean ruffled his hair. “Go ahead, kid. Make a wish.”
Jack grinned. He blew out the candles without hesitation, then started on the pancakes.
Cas turned to Dean curiously. “What did you get him?”
Dean winked at him. “You’ll see.”
With Dean, that could mean any number of things. Before Cas was able to wonder and figure out what, Dean was back at the stove and calling over his shoulder, “I’ll have your breakfast ready next, angel.”
Between forkfuls, Jack launched into a story about how yesterday at school, they found a frog under the slide and named it Toad. Apparently, their teacher let them bring the frog inside to keep as a class pet.
The story went on until after they were all finished eating and Jack hopped up from the table. Bouncing with excitement, he asked, “Can I open my present now?”
Dean stood. “Follow me. You too, Cas.”
Jack was right on Dean’s heels as he led them back to his and Cas’ room.
Cas’ confusion only grew. They weren’t keeping Jack’s presents in here— they had stashed them in the laundry room; Jack never went in there. While Jack wasn’t in here consistently, he would likely notice if they tried hiding them here.
Dean put a hand on the knob of the closet door before pausing. “Alright. Both of you, eyes closed.”
Jack perked up. “Are you giving Daddy a present, too?”
“I am,” Dean said, “but not until both of you close your eyes.”
Jack screwed his eyes shut. “They’re closed!”
Cas looked Dean over suspiciously. “Dean—“
“Just close ‘em, Cas.”
“Yeah!” Jack agreed. “Close ‘em!”
They were both excited— Jack was hardly able to stand still, and Dean just barely refraining from opening the closet.
With one last squint in Dean’s direction, Cas complied.
The door creaked quietly as it opened. There was some rustling as Dean shifted through its contents, then—
“Open!”
Dean stood in front of them grinning widely, a cowboy hat in each hand, as well as one on his head.
Jack rushed over, grinning just as radiantly when Dean put the smaller of the two hats on him.
“I get to be a cowboy!” he exclaimed.
“We all get to be cowboys,” Dean corrected. He held up the other hat. “Well, oh-partner-of-mine, what do you say?”
Cas sighed. He recognized it from a case years ago, where Dean had claimed it would help them “blend in with the locals.” Despite his reasoning, Cas still had a strong suspicion that that hadn’t been the real reason Dean had convinced him to dress up.
“You’re ridiculous,” Cas told him, eyes crinkling fondly.
“No, he’s a cowboy,” Jack corrected.
Dean dropped the hat onto Cas’ head. “The birthday boy is right,” he said, evidently pleased. “Now we’ve gotta get a picture.”
Cas felt just as absurd in his hat, sweatpants, and t-shirt as he had on that case wearing the hat and his trench coat. Same as on the case, he couldn’t refuse.
After Dean had fished his phone out of his nightstand and crowded the three of them together for the picture, Cas moved to pull the hat off.
Jack shook his head vehemently. “No! You hafta keep it on so we can show Uncle Sammy!”
Dean poorly attempted to conceal a laugh when Cas accepted defeat and replied, “Of course, Jack.”
“Awesome!” Jack said. “Can we have cake now?”
“Later, buddy,” Dean assured him. He slung an arm around Cas’ shoulders. “Let’s wait for everyone else before that.”
Jack frowned, then perked back up. “Can we go outside and look for frogs? Toad is probably lonely without a friend.”
“I’m sure he is,” Cas said. “We can go look for frogs.”
Jack grinned. “Race you!” He took off, cowboy hat falling over his face as he ran. He pushed it back up as he hurried out of sight.
Cas looked over at Dean. “Did you get him that for him or for you?”
“For him,” Dean insisted. “We’re starting his education early.”
Cas wasn’t quite sure if he believed him, but he nodded. “I can see that.”
“Dad! Daddy! Are you coming?” Jack poked his head around the doorframe.
“We’re coming,” Cas said. “We were just talking.”
“Okay,” Jack said, grabbing their hands. “Now let’s go!”
As Jack pulled them along, Cas turned to Dean to ask, “Did you make the cake?”
Dean froze. “Shi— shoot.” He tugged on Jack’s hand to get him to stop and crouched down so they were level. “Hey, kid. I’ve gotta make your cake real quick. Can I come join you and Daddy outside in a little bit?”
The four year old considered it, then decided, “No.”
Dean and Cas shared a confused look.
“Why not?” Dean asked.
“I’m gonna help you make the cake!” Jack announced. “Then we can all go outside together.”
An hour and a half later, Cas felt even more ridiculous, covered from head to toe in flour, cowboy hat included.
Jack’s smile was infectious and worth it.
tags: @epizkey-saltnpepperdean @earthboundangel @top13zepptraxx @destiel-is-canon-i-guess @fellshish @gayhuckleberryinatrenchcoat @https-castiel @holmesemrys @linaraiscorner @castielsbeeslippers
#happy birthday jack#my favorite small child#jack kline#castiel#dean winchester#destiel#deancas#casdean#supernatural#spn#my writing#my fic
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Incoming long post of my (unpopular) thoughts on the spn prequel:
I’ll start with the bad
Destiel will not be canon: I love that all of you are still optimistic about canon Destiel, but I am not. Anything that Jensen has ever said has been against Destiel and against canon bi-Dean. I don’t like it but it is what it is. Plus all the negative stuff he’s said about Dean’s sexuality never sat right with me. There’s also no evidence Misha/Cas will be involved and I’m under the impression he didn’t know about the show either until Jensen’s tweet. I refuse to let myself have hope to be destroyed again.
Target fan base: At first I thought he was trying to appeal to J2 stans until everything that has transpired since. He’s alienated a lot of the J2/Wincest fans because of Jared’s reaction and I’m not sure all of us Destiel fans (I’m not) are really prepared to watch this heterosexual “love story” only to be let down again, which leads me to believe his target audience will be the straight white males (Kripke’s original target audience). It sucks, but that’s how it seems to me.
Things I’m not excited about: The story being about John and Mary Winchester. I honestly can’t see any way this story is going to work without completely destroying canon and disregarding John’s abuse. Jensen’s tweet today made me feel a little better, but I am still not hopeful this is going to translate well. First off, these two characters are not even that well liked within the fandom. His first tweet the article drew concerns about canon and John’s abuse which is reassuring. However, the second tweet article describes it as “the epic, untold love story of how John met Mary, and how they put it all on the line to not only save their love, but the entire world.” I’m sorry but that sounds dumb as fuck. You know whose love did save the world? CASTIEL’S LOVE FOR DEAN, but we’re not allowed to acknowledge that for (omitted) reasons.
John’s abuse: Some are hopeful after Jensen’s tweet that his abuse won’t be swept under the rug, but I’m not so sure. The last episode with John was Lebanon which retcon a lot of his abuse and tried to show him in this different light as a better father. They (lightly) touched on his abuse but nowhere near where it should’ve been discussed. While this episode is highly rated I was never a fan as John feels completely out of character. As someone who had a father with a lot of similarities to John I don’t think I can subject myself to an entire show about him. With Jensen’s recent tweet it seems he is (somewhat) aware and will touch on this but is it going to be mostly washed over like in Lebanon? If so, I’m 100% not interested. It’s one thing to show a character like John that can be more than one dimensional, but to have him as the main hero? He has done some good things and I do think he cares about his sons (despite his abuse), but this ain’t it. Even if this is shown properly I don’t think it can ever work as a main character especially one who is going to be made out as the hero. We’re supposed to like and identify with the main characters which will be impossible for me and many others who had abusive parents. His character could potentially work better as a background character but that won’t be the case even if they decide to make Mary the true main character/hero. The only people who seem to disregard John’s abuse are a few J2 stans and the white het. males further showing this is probably their target audience.
Things I’m excited about: Robbie Thompson as show runner. After the shit show of a finale I told myself I wouldn’t watch any prequels/sequels on spn unless Eric Kripke, Robbie Thompson or Ben Edlund were the show runners. I just never thought it would be a prequel about John. Despite what I’ve said about this prequel show I do think Robbie is a phenomenal writer with wonderful (mostly in-canon) ideas and has a good chance to do this show justice. He has given us some amazing characters (Charlie, Eileen just to name a few) and some amazing pro-bi/Destiel scenes. He’s also given us wonderful
Winchester focused episodes such as the beloved episodes Baby and Fan Fiction without disregarding found family. A scene was deleted in fan fiction specifically talking about found family and I doubt it was Robbie’s idea to delete it.
Other personal favorite episodes of his: The Girl with the Dungeon and Dragons Tattoo, LARP and the Real Girl, Time After Time, Goodbye Stranger, First Born, Book of the Damned, Angel Heart, Into the Mystic, Safe House, Don’t Call Me Shurley. If anyone is interested here is a complete list of all his episodes - 7x06 7x12 7x20 8x04 8x11 8x17 8x20 9x04 9x11 9x18 10x05 10x11 10x18 10x20 11x04 11x11 11x16 11x20
I’m also excited for having Dean Winchester back even if we never get to see his face. While I’m curious to know what brings about his narration (who he is narrating to) I still don’t think it will have anything to do with Cas.
Will I watch this show: Honestly, I don’t know yet. I want to support Jensen (and Danneel) and Robbie but I really need more information on how this story is actually going to work. Jensen still doesn’t seem very aware how the finale affected some fans. It wasn’t about canon Destiel, it was about the erasure of Cas after he had finally come out and told Dean he loved him. His death was problematic, but in a show like spn it wasn’t that odd to think he would come back. The confession should have been addressed – even if it wasn’t at the very least they shouldn’t have tried to completely erase his character and act like no one care about him. I know Jensen has said more positive things about the finale recently but it was pretty clear to me in the beginning he was not happy about it. Unfortunately I don’t think it had anything to do with Cas. I think Jensen was only upset about Dean’s ending (one dimensional pie lover, death).
Basing the story off John and Mary is probably the least interesting story they could give me but Jensen seems dead set on this Winchester family show rather than the found family motto that this show used to have. Hoping Jensen and Danneel can prove me wrong.
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movies & shows
cracks knuckles* alright this is going to be more of a rant than an analysis because i’m basing this on both my research, but also how it felt to personally be baited by these shows. there are obviously more pieces of bad (almost every horror movie) and good ones but these are the ones i’ve watched.
please keep in mind that i am but one queer and everyone has different opinions.
Supernatural (CW) 2005
This show is 15 years old and just ended. From season 5 till 15, there has been tension between two of the lead characters. They were constantly shipped together and not only did the entire fandom know about this ship but so did almost all of Tumblr. On top of that, the actors and show runners knew about it as well. Which is why it makes it ridiculous that it was constantly pushed aside while the romantic coding kept happening, even after show runners dismissed it as being intentional. The Destiel (Dean x Cas) case has been going on for years, and as the show came to its end, many fans had hope. But N O P E. Instead, we got a love confession from Cas where Dean looked like he was near constipated and the Cas was killed and sent into a fiery place that was not hell but s u p e r h e l l.
… w hy.
Sherlock (BBC) 2010
Just like Supernatural, this show was renown on Tumblr for not only how good it was, but its hinting at a potential relationship between Sherlock Holmes and John Watson. But again, like Supernatural, the intentional tension between the two characters was denied by producers. This caused an uproar within the fandom, and even left some people believing that, after the last season aired, it had been a joke and the producers were hiding a “secret, unaired season” because they had felt so robbed by this show that had implied something and denied it.
The 100 (CW) 2014
We got lesbians. We got background gays. We were happy. Then, all of a sudden, one of them is killed for no reason. Did it advance the plot? No. Was she fighting and died in battle? lol no. She was doing literally nothing and got shot and died. And then the producers kept bringing her back once a season in the form of a ghost or illusion because why? Because she was a fan favourite queer character. ✨bury your gays and sparingly bring them back for profit anyone?✨
Voltron: Legendary Defender (Netflix) 2016
*deep breathe* This one is a special disaster. Not only was there romantic tension and romantically coded scenes for 7 seasons, but producers, voice actors and artists working on the show repeatedly said “don’t worry klance (Keith x Lance) shippers, you’ll be happy”
. … w h e r e??? You code one of their scenes with a sunset in the background while they talk about love and then one of them goes on a date with someone who has declined his advances for 7 seasons but now in season 8 decides to do a full 180. Not only that, but you announce at a Comic Con (a convention) that a character is gay and has a fiancé, only to kill off the fiancé and never make it explicit in the show except at the last second of the last episode where he marries a no name character.
Personally, i’d like to say a big fuck you to the show that strung me along for 2 years and never stopped saying we’d be happy to then pull the rug out from under us and call us crazy for thinking anything from the past 8 seasons was intentional.
Scooby-Doo (2002)
While not being outwardly queerbaiting, this movie’s filmmaker has just revealed some shocking news, which wasn’t at all shocking to the gays who had watched this movie over the years. In July of 2020, James Gunn, the filmmaker of Scooby-Doo, revealed in a podcast that, initially, Velma was explicitly gay in his script, but then the studio watered it down until it became nothing. This isn’t an example of baiting as much as it is changing a character’s initial design to “better fit an audience”. The worst part of all this is that with Velma’s character having been written with a l i t t l e queer subtext, people had been theorizing about if since the movie came out, but were always yelled at by the internet for “imagining something that isn’t there”. But now, even with it being said that the initial point was for her to be gay, people have no objections to still refusing to accept it. Why?? So we can’t get the subtext gays OR the confirmed gays?? Make it make sense.
Brooklyn 99 (NBC) 2013
To have the queer characters firstly introduced without mentioning their sexualities and have it brought up naturally was so goddamn nice to see, because no one does a big deal about it unless they ask for that. This show is amazing in general but the way they show their queer characters is *chefs kiss*.
She-ra and the Princesses of Power (Netflix) 2018
This. Show. My heart SOARS. It's just a remake of an old show so absolutely nothing was ever expected, but then it was sprinkled in and ENDED WITH A BANG. And it was so beautiful and real to see the struggle of two friends who care for each other and want to be together but have different visions of the world fall in love. And they also had characters with disabilities, a non-binary character and jUST SUCH A GOOD SHOW.
Kipo and The Age of Wonderbeasts (Netflix) 2020
This is a case where you go into it not expecting anything and are BLOWN AWAY by the bare minimum. And not because it’s bad!! It's mind blowing because this is the simple representation we need!! Not something over the top, but an every day relationship. It’s just two boys falling in love and going on dates and being nervous around each other, yet i was so stunned. Because it’s not shown enough. I should not be this excited over something that should be this normal. 10/10 though this show is so good for all kinds of representation.
Steven Universe (Cartoon Network) 2013
This show did so much for queer representation with its general message of loving everyone and loving who you want. Especially since it was aired on Cartoon Network, a channel for kids, it was able to help normalize something so looked down upon in some circles. It made it easy to watch for s o m e people because it's a cartoon but it's so beautiful to see these ladies so in love with each other, both platonically and romantically and we see them have a family dynamic that isn’t a “nuclear family”. Rebecca Sugar (creator) really said “lemme just break all stereotypes real quick”.
Adventure Time (Cartoon Network) 2010
It's the “knowing a fanbase shipped something so hard that the creators made it canon” for me. This relationship had been theorized by fans for years, but it had never been explicit in the show. When the finale episode came out and the two shared a kiss, it was a moment of celebration. The producer of the show said that it had not really been planned but when the episode was being made, the choice of what happened was given to one of the artists (bless your soul Hanna K. Nyströmthe). And as the show releases little bonus episodes, its latest was centered around Marceline and Bubblegum and their relationship. AND WE LOVE TO SEE OUR DOMESTIC LESBIANS BEING HAPPY AND IN LOVE.
Yuri on Ice!!! (anime) 2016
The fact that an A N I M E gave us a love story between two men is mind boggling and it makes me so happy!! Especially because it's a Japanese show and they’re very conservative about these things just makes it more emotional. The creators said they wanted to make the anime take place in a world where gay/straight isn’t a thing, it’s just love (ladies, you’re going to make me cry). So as the weekly episodes came out and fans start speculating, THEY GAVE US THE LAST FEW EPISODES FULL OF ROMANCE AND EMOTIONAL SCENES BETWEEN THE TWO AND THEN THEY GET R I N GS?!???!! You watch for the figure skating, you stay for the figure skaters that are in love.
Shadowhunters (Freeform) 2016
*insert me being frustrated that the actors are straight so we can move on from that disappointment*
This show really said “let’s name a whole episode after this couple because they deserve it”. But seriously, they gave us two characters whose entire plot does not center around their sexualities while still showing us the differences in a relationship between someone experienced and someone new at this. They were both powerful and amazing characters apart from each other, with their own story lines and goals but they loved each other so much omgs. SO MUCH.
It was so great to watch.
Love, Simon (2018)
There’s a lot of disagreement on whether this movie is good representation or not. However, we need to take into consideration that this was Hollywood’s first movie with a main character that was gay, where the story’s focus was on Simon’s love story. The biggest problem, for me at least, was that the actor playing Simon is a straight man and not queer. My problem is not with him, but the fact that there are other actors that are gay and that could have played Simon just as well. (the love interested was however played by a queer actor so ✨progress✨)
All in all, this movie does represent what a lot of queer kids have to go through: being outed at school, how they then come out, the bullying and doubt they go through.
The book is also really good.
Call Me By Your Name (2018)
This movie is so aesthetically pleasing and was able to capture the confusion and heartbreak felt by a boy who’s struggling with his own feelings towards a man. His inner conflict and joy and l o v e he feels but doesn’t know how to deal with is so well communicated through the screen and just breaks your heart because it feels so real.
But again, they could’ve gotten gay actors to play gay characters…
through having this list here, i want to show you that it’s not hard for creators to give good queer representation. the LGBTQ+ community isn’t asking for much, we just want to be well represented on screen as just a regular character, not some token queer kid there for the diversity points. having been exposed to so much queerbaiting and just not seeing any representation on screen, i always get over-excited when i see a queer character, and that’s not how it should be. it should be a normal thing, something you can find in most pieces of media, just like there’s a straight white cisgender person in everything.
and they seriously need to start casting queer actors for queer characters...
#queer#queerbait#queerbaiting#supernatural#they really said lets make it the worst ending ever#destiel#sherlock#johnlock#the 100#clexa#bury your gays#fuck you jason rothenberg#voltron#klance#...that was a shit show#scooby doo 2#what an icon she was tho#brooklyn 99#rosa diaz is a god you cant tell me otherwise#she ra and the princesses of power#shera#catradora#go lesbians go#kipo and the age of wonderbeasts#gave us precious gaybies#steven universe#ALL THE LESBIANS#adventure time#obsidian#bubbleine
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So you ship winc*st? Like, you've been talking about the finale and how much you hate it but then you make this post which is all winc*st rects. Not be judgmental here but ... why would you ship that? And if you ship it, why aren't you happy with the finale?
Nonnie, I started out as a Sam/Dean shipper. I got into SPN after reading fanfic about it and caught up to the show only in season 6. Back at the time, there was a lot of excellent fanfic available and Destiel wasn’t yet the huge juggernaut ship it became on tumblr. When I got into the SPN fandom, the fic was still scattered on LJ, and a lot of it was archived either there or in smaller archives.
Hell yes, I ship it. But the thing is, I ship it in fanfic, and that’s an entirely different thing than wanting to see it happen on screen. And I ship it BECAUSE of the dysfunctional dynamic, not in spite of it. So much Wincest fanfic has exact the right amount of UST, of pining, of guilt, of pschological drama, of angst. It has that edge that I’m looking for. And it fit very well with the tone of the early seasons, where Sam and Dean are caught in this gritty, dirty road movie/urban horror story where they can only rely on each other.
As opposed to that, I never read a lot of Destiel. For one, a lot of it is AU. Coffeeshop AU and things like T&S and “OMG they were roommates and Cas is the nerd and Dean the jock”, but that’s not the kind of fic that I’m looking for. There are some canon-compliant fics that I like, but none that stand out to me, whereas there’s tons of early season Wincest fic that I can come up with from memory (and did, as you see in that rec post, because those were all fics that I immediately recalled when I started thinking about it).
Again: I never wanted to see Wincest in the show. For the actual show, I wanted character development that allowed the two brothers to move on from their mutual co-dependency. I wanted them to grow up and learn how to communicate, I wanted Dean to let go of the idea that Sam’s well-being was his sole responsibility, I wanted Sam to be allowed to carry his own share of the burden, I wanted for the two of them to get a life that wasn’t just each other. Because otherwise, what kind of story are the writers even telling?
And then Destiel snuck up on me. I wanted for Dean to be able to have that close relationship with Cas. I wanted it to become canon. In season eight in particular, the writer seemed to steer into that direction, but then season nine rolled around and they toned down on the romantic subtext. I kept watching until season 10, Fan Fiction, which I understood as a love letter to fandom but also as a warning that Destiel was never going to happen. At that point, I saw very little character development, and knowing that the show was just going to keep running, going through the motions with no resolution in sight, I stopped watching.
When I learned that season 15 would be the last one, I started catching up. And I was surprised that Dean’s and Cas’ arc seemed to be actually going somewhere. Still with the no homo (pal-buddy-man-dude) and the carefully maintained distance but also with a surprising amount of parallels and symbolism and subtext and romantic tropes.
I have to admit, 15.18 blindsided me. And it did awaken a desperate hope in me. But then the finale rolled around and it turns out they did, in fact, bury their gays, and they decided that Dean was not allowed to cross that line. Instead, the show did a one-eighty and ... delivered what I like to call emotional incest. Sam and Dean living in domestic bliss in the bunker. Every other character erased from the brothers’ world. That exclusive focus on each other. Sam, once again, being the only thing in Dean’s life, framed and coded as Dean’s One True Love, including the death scene where Dean confesses his undying love and devotion to his baby brother.
The thing that makes incest problematic isn’t the religious taboo. It’s the fact that incestuous relationships almost exclusively happen in the context of dysfunctional family dynamics. Let’s face the facts: Very few sane and consenting adulds suddenly decide to bone their siblings. We’re not wired that way. Stuff like that happens, it’s usually a reflection of unhealthy mutual obsession. Of fucked-up childhoods. Of an emotional inability to form fulfilling relationships with other people. And the SPN finale reflects all these things, the brothers fit that description to a T.
Hell, it made me wish, for the first time, that the show had made it explicit. At least then someone would have gotten an orgasm out of it.
The thing is, I wanted Destiel also because it’s a way for Dean to grow. I wanted for the writers to let him change. I wanted to see him get the chance to become more, not less. To mature, not to regress.
The same goes for Sam. The fact that they wrote Eileen out of the finale and never gave Sam that emotionally fulfilling relationship that we know he would have been capable of forming with her is a form of betrayal too.
I think it boils down to this: Fanfic is one thing, canon another. I wanted a satisfying ending, not this hot mess that makes no sense - to a point where I felt compelled, as I’ve rarely been before, to fix it in a rewrite. I usually write fanfic when a random idea comes to my mind that refuses to let go of me. But in this case, it was different. It was this need to fix it. Fix everyting. They got everything wrong and I had to make it right.
It’s not always black and white, nonnie. I can hate the finale - and what it took from the characters (and, in extension, from us) - till all eternity, and yet enjoy the early season fanfic that pulled me into fandom.
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A Helping Hand
Rating: E
Tags: Destiel, Wing Kink, Canon fic, Love admissions
Words: 3034
Beta’d by: @alicethrutheburrows
Fic for the PBExchange for @river-bottom-nightmare! I saw Wing fics in your likes and knew I had to write it, wings are my favorite too <3
~~~
Underneath the dim bunker lighting, Dean sits alone at the table, cup of coffee in hand. His back is hunched as he looks over the books of lore strewn about in front of him. It’s inching closer to three am, yet somehow, Dean isn’t tired. The coffee is just a force of habit. Usually, he would be struggling to stay awake at this hour, but tonight is different. Tonight, He’s wide awake.
Everything is quiet, too quiet. Nothing makes a peep in the empty bunker with Sam and Dean as its only occupants. Castiel is off on one of his angel missions. Dean made sure to text him everyday to make sure he was still alive. The only response he usually got to his question of “are you alive?” was a simple “yes”.
Dean sips his coffee, and in the silence of the bunker, there’s a noise. It’s a knock on the door. Dean closes the book in front of him and walks up the stairs to the door. He looks through the peephole and spots a very tired looking Castiel. He opens the door for him and tilts his head in confusion.
“Dude, why didn’t you just fly in? How did you get here?”
Castiel looks around, seemingly relieved to be back in the bunker. “I’ve been walking for two days. It’s a long story.”
The hunter frowns. “What happened to your wings?”
Castiel starts walking down the stairs, ignoring Dean’s question. He’s moving slower than usual, like he’s exhausted.
Dean follows Castiel, looming over his shoulder like a concerned parent or partner. He follows Castiel all the way back to his room.
“Are you going to let me rest?”
The door frame props Dean up.. “Not until you tell me what happened. You look like crap, man.”
Castiel sighs, his shoulders slumping lower and making his body curl in on itself. “I said, it’s a long story.”
“I’m listening.”
Castiel stares at Dean, narrowing his eyes for a moment. “Fine. Close the door.”
Dean steps into the room and shuts the door behind himself. He backs up a little when Castiel starts undressing. It’s then that Dean notices just how dirty Castiel’s clothes are. His white shirt is stained a light brown, his trench coat is battered and frayed, and his pants have mud stains on them. Still, seeing Castiel undress makes Dean’s cheeks heat up in a way that makes him question their relationship. He had been having a lot of those moments. “Why are you taking your clothes off?”
“Just the top half. You’ll see.” Castiel sets his clothes aside until he’s naked from the waist up. He’s dirty under the clothes, and there are a few wounds that were slowly healing.
“Dude, what kind of fight did you get yourself into?”
“A bad one.” There it was, Castiel’s usual sarcastic tone. “They were rogue angels working for hell. I won, but at a cost.”
“The wounds don’t look too bad. You’re healing, right?”
Castiel nods. “I am. Slowly. It’s not my body that was injured, though.”
“Then what was it?” Dean takes a slow step forward. His eyes are trained on Castiel’s chest, and he tries to pull them away.
Castiel watches Dean for a moment before sighing. He rolls his shoulders, sits up straight, and something makes a noise.
Dean’s eyes are drawn away from Castiel’s chest to the big, black mass emerging from his back. The mass unfurls into a pair of massive black wings. “Holy shit. How am I seeing those?”
“I can bring them into this plane of existence. I don’t often. I had them out while I was fighting. They had theirs out, so I would have been at a severe disadvantage if I had kept them away.” He looks back over his shoulder at the wings, spreading them a little further. “They got several good hits on me. It’s nothing severe, but my wings are in such a desperate need of grooming from the fight that I can’t fly.”
Dean stares in awe, his jaw dropping slightly. He’s never seen anything like this in his life. In all those years of fighting monsters, demons, and even angels, nothing had shocked him like this. He gets his bearings back and speaks again. “Grooming? What does that mean?”
“Just brushing out all the dead feathers and debris. There’s a lot of debris and they’re just a mess right now. It’s going to take me hours to finish.”
Dean tilts his head and approaches the bed. “Can I help? Seems like you wouldn’t be able to reach most of that,” Dean offers, his mouth moving faster than he’s thinking.
Castiel flinches, much to Dean’s surprise. He opens and closes his mouth, trying to find the words he needs. “I don’t think you should. My wings are very sensitive.”
“I can be gentle. To be frank, I’d kill to touch those. They’re awesome.” Dean lets out a breathy laugh, his lips curled in a crooked smile.
Castiel watches Dean, seemingly searching his face for something. “Okay. You can help. Just be very gentle with them.”
Dean walks around the side of the bed and climbs on behind Castiel, sitting cross-legged behind him. “So, what do I do?”
“Brush your fingers through the feathers, take out any damaged feathers, and pull the debris out. I can feel the sticks and leaves in there.”
Dean looks over the mass of feathers and starts to notice just how out of place everything is. There are dozens of small sticks and leaves poking out, and none of the feathers are uniform. Instead of a row of neatly placed feathers that Dean would imagine on a bird, the feathers are facing every which way like a bad game of fifty-two card pickup.
He takes one more survey of the wings before slowly reaching out to touch them. But right as he’s about to sink his fingers into the messy plumage, a thought stops him. “This isn’t going to burn my eyes out or anything, right?”
“No, it should be perfectly safe.” Castiel’s voice is a little tight. He sounds nervous.
“Okay. I promise I won’t hurt you, buddy.” With that reassurance given, Dean begins. He plunges his finger into the feathers and slowly drags his hands down. He starts on the left wing, since it looks a little more beat up than the right.
As his hands move, feathers, sticks, and leaves fall to the bed. Dean feels feathers coming loose and frowns. “You’re losing a lot of feathers, here.”
“That’s to be expected. My wings really aren’t supposed to be in this plane when I fly. Don’t worry about how many I lose, I have plenty.”
Dean nods slowly and continues. His fingertips brush against the slightly rough skin beneath the feathers. On the second pass, he gets to feel just how soft the feathers are. His fingers feel like they’re brushing through smooth silk. The sensation is unlike anything Dean has ever felt.
The wing under his hands twitches slightly with each pass of his fingers. The feathers along the ridge start to lift off the top, puffing up and flaring out. Dean watches with morbid curiosity, wondering what that could possibly mean.
Time passes quickly. Dean becomes entranced by the work of grooming Castiel’s wings. By the time he starts on the right wing, his arms are aching. He doesn’t care. The act is calming and it’s all Dean can think about in the moment. The entire world had shrunken down to just that room, where Castiel and Dean sit.
Dean stops abruptly when he hears a noise. It’s followed by a round of coughs from Castiel. “You alright?”
Castiel rubs a hand over his face, which is still hidden from Dean. “I’m fine. You can keep going.”
Dean pauses, waiting a few seconds before continuing. He wonders if he accidentally pulled a feather too hard, so he decides to be even more gentle.
The puffed up feathers along the ridge of Castiel’s wing refuse to go down when Dean runs his hand over them. He tries several times before huffing. “These just won’t go back into place.”
“They’re not out of place.” Castiel seems to be having a hard time speaking. “My wings are...reactive to touch.”
Dean raises a brow at that. He scoots to the side and comes up on his knees to peer over Castiel’s wing. He finally gets a good look at his face and what he sees shocks him. Castiel’s entire face is beet red. His bent index finger is between his teeth and his hairline is damp with sweat. He looks like he either just had the workout of his life, or…
Castiel’s eyes meet Dean’s and his face gets impossibly redder. He removes his finger from his mouth. “You can leave. I-I’m sorry-”
“Dude, does this turn you on?”
Castiel looks away. “I told you my wings are sensitive.”
“So all the angels in heaven get off while they groom each other?”
Castiel makes a face. “No, of course not. It’s not like this with other angels.” There’s a brief pause. “I’ve only ever had this reaction with you.”
“So why did you expect it? You were nervous before we started, like you knew this would happen.” Dean ducks under Castiel’s wing and moves to sit beside him.
“Angels do have that reaction, with their mates. The feathers sticking up, it’s part of angel mating. I can’t control it. I knew it would happen with you because,” he sighs, “because of how I feel about you.”
Dean stares at Castiel, searching his face for a lie. He looks sincere, and that’s what scares Dean the most. “You consider me your...mate?”
“Not mate, at least, not yet. Potential mate.”
Dean takes a few seconds to process that information. This all feels very sudden, and not what Dean expected to happen at all. As he thinks about everything, the feelings he had bottled up for years start coming to the surface. All of the staring, the touches, and the longing had built up into something big and terrifying. It’s a pool that Dean stands at the edge of. He knows that if he dives into it, there will be no return.
Just as Dean is about to say what’s on his mind, the bedroom door opens, and Sam walks in.
“Hey guys I found a- Holy shit!”
Castiel’s eyes widen and his wings curl up to his body. “Hello, Sam.”
Dean puts his hands over his face. “What did you find?”
Sam stares at Castiel, his jaw dropped. “I found a case but this is way more important. How did you bring those out, Cas?”
“I just can. They needed to be groomed.”
“Groomed?” Sam looks between Castiel and Dean, then back at Castiel. “Can I touch them?”
“No!” Castiel and Dean speak simultaneously.
Castiel looks at Dean, then back at Sam. “No, I don’t think that would be wise. I can show them to you later.”
Sam narrows his eyes at the pair, then nods. “Alright. I’ll hold you to that, Cas. Have fun with your...grooming.” He backs out of the room and slowly closes the door.
Dean groans. “I should have known that he was going to barge in.”
“What were you going to say?”
Dean meets Castiel’s gaze again. He swallows. The pool lingering in front of him, inviting him in. He stares into the water, and with a deep breath, he dives in. “Look, I know I’ve always been a little weird around you. We’ve had a strange relationship. We’re friends, but that’s never been enough, has it?” Dean chuckles nervously. “I know how I feel about you. You’re more than a friend to me. I’ve shoved it down for years, but I’ve always known.”
Castiel stares into Dean’s eyes a little too heavily. He glances away to nervously take Dean’s hand. “If we both know how we feel about each other, then what are we waiting for?”
Dean accepts Castiel’s hand, holding it tightly. “I don’t know. I just...I can’t lose you, Cas. I’ve already lost you a few times, and it’s too much. If we do this, I really won’t be able to lose you.”
“In all fairness, I don’t take the best care of myself. With you, I’ll try to change that. You deserve someone who plans on sticking around. You won’t lose me.”
Dean’s eyes flick from Castiel’s eyes to his lips a few times. They inch closer together, hands still holding each other tightly. Dean closes the gap and kisses Castiel, his eyes flickering shut. The moment is made that much sweeter by Castiel’s arms wrapping around him. Something tickles the back of Dean’s neck, and with a small peek, Dean sees Castiel’s wings wrapping around both of them.
When Dean pulls back from the kiss, they’re enveloped in a feathery cocoon. Dean brushes his fingers over the feathers and smiles softly. “This...This is easier than I thought it would be.”
“What made you think it would be hard?”
“Relationships are hard for me. There’s so much to think about. Even in the beginning, like this, it’s been hard. But, it isn’t now. This is easy. It feels right.”
Castiel smiles softly back. “It does, doesn’t it?” He leans forward and kisses Dean’s cheek.
Dean runs one hand through the feathers in front of him, eliciting a gasp from Castiel. “You seem more sensitive here.”
“Yes, the front of my wings are much more sensitive than the back.”
Dean hums and moves forwards. He swings a leg over to straddle Castiel’s waist and seats himself comfortably. He reaches forward and plunges his fingers into the feathers.
Castiel sucks in a breath and bites his lower lip, his head falling back. His wings unwrap from around both of them.
Dean grins and continues his ministrations. He drags his hands through the silky soft feathers, dragging moans from the angel beneath him. He shifts his weight and starts grinding his ass against Castiel. “I’m sure you’re feeling a little pent up from all of this. Why don’t we relieve that?”
Castiel’s eyes open and meet Dean’s. There’s a moment of silence, and then it happens. Castiel grabs Dean by the hips and flips him over onto the bed, hovering over him with his wings spread out behind him.
Dean stares up at Castiel with wide eyes, heat pooling in his belly from arousal. “Damn, Cas. You like to be in control?”
Castiel nods and straddles Dean’s thighs. “I think so, yes.” He leans down and presses heavy kisses along Dean’s neck.
Dean reaches down and grabs the hem of his own shirt, pulling it off over his head. This makes Castiel pause to wait for the shirt to be out of the way before diving back in. Dean’s hands move down to grab at Castiel’s belt, unbuckling it and tossing it aside. He makes quick work of the button and zipper of Castiel’s pants, pushing them down as far as he can.
Castiel sits up a little and grins at the marks he left on Dean’s neck and collarbones. He shifts his legs and slides out of his pants. He grabs Dean’s pants and yanks them down, the sound of seams ripping echoing through the room.
Dean kicks his pants the rest of the way off and leans up to kiss Castiel again. His hands find the massive black wings and plunge their way into the feathers. Dean is a little less gentle now, but Castiel seems to like it.
Castiel straddles Dean’s waist and grinds his boxer-clad crotch against Dean’s, creating a delicious friction that draws moans out of both of them. His wings are low, the primary feathers draping over the bedspread.
Dean uses one hand to stroke the feathers of Castiel’s wing and uses the other to cup the back of his neck. Their foreheads touch and their eyes are closed. The world is small again, reducing down to just the pair of them.
Dean lets go of the back of Castiel’s neck to reach down between them. He pulls each of their cocks out of their boxers and takes them both into his hand. He strokes them together and the pleasure is heightened.
Castiel groans. “Dean, I’ve never...This is amazing.”
“I’m right there with you, Cas. I’m almost there.” Dean’s hand tightens unintentionally in Castiel’s feathers and it makes Castiel cry out. “Shit, did I hurt you?”
“No! God, no. Do that again.” Castiel is breathless, rolling his hips into Dean’s hand. His wings are fluttering and puffed up with arousal.
Dean grabs a fistful of feathers and gently pulls, watching in awe of Castiel.
Castiel lets out a shout, and light forms behind his eyes. He slaps a hand over Dean’s eyes just in time for the room to glow with a light Dean could still see behind Castiel’s hand.
Dean squeezes his eyes shut and moans as his own climax overtakes him, flooding his body with warmth. He shudders and takes his hand away, breathing heavily.
Castiel takes his hand off of Dean’s face and looks into his eyes with concern. “Are you okay?”
“Cas, I’m friggin’ awesome.”
Castiel smiles fondly at Dean. “I could say the same for myself.” He slowly moves off of Dean and lays down beside him. One wing stays straight out behind him, and the other gently covers him and Dean.
Dean brushes a hand over the feathers again. “So, what now?”
Castiel hums. “I think my grace has decided that you’re my mate, so I suppose that’s where we start.”
“What does that entail?”
“You’re my life partner. Forever. I’ll follow you to heaven when your life on this earth ends, and we’ll spend eternity together.”
Dean finds Castiel’s hand and holds it tightly. “I think that sounds perfect. It’s a little scary, thinking about eternity, but eternity sounds nice when it’s spent with you.”
Castiel leans forward and kisses Dean softly. “I love you.”
Dean swallows down his fear. Those three words used to be his biggest fear, but with Castiel, it feels easy. “I love you too.”
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I know I’m waiting too much time on this, and that it’s probably THE 100th TIME I post today but I don’t care, I want to share my thoughts on a couple of things from this episode (15x18)
So like spoilers of the century ahead
I’ve seen a lot of people comment negatively on how destiel was canonised, and... remember what show we’re watching XD. I was convinced they were not even going to faintly hint at it (not because there wasn’t evidence, I had plenty, 11 seasons of proof are a lot), and in spite of the fact that I was always a firm believer that Dean and Cas should be together, and that their feelings were romantic, I never even considered the possibility of the authors having enough balls to actually do it. But they surprised me. They didn’t just hint at it, they went in with the FULL “I LOVE YOU” ACTION, and Cas’s death (for now, I refuse to believe he’s gone for good) scene was so tragically beautiful. They even mirrored the handprint thing, he lived, fell and died all for one man, Dean. We weren’t crazy. And there are still two episodes to go, so it’s not over yet! I hope and think this is just the beginning, the top of the iceberg, we didn’t even get to see Dean’s reaction!
Ah, yes. Dean’s reaction. I see EVERYONE keeps bashing Jensen’s acting (and by extension, Dean’s reaction) calling it homophobic, saying he was just “no homo, bro, never call me a gay” all the time, jawclenching his way through to resist the urge to say a slur (like, even though he was jawclenching, that is SO inaccurate because Jensen is not homophobic, like seriously he’s nottt). But I honestly think Dean’s reaction was perfect. We, the audience, know about Cas’s deal, we know what’s about to happen, we know (or at least, we can predict) what Cas is about to say. Dean doesn’t, he doesn’t understand where Cas is going with his speech, what him confessing actually means, not until the very end when the Empty comes, and you can SEE the realisation in his face, and the pain that comes with it. He doesn’t have the time to react though, and he’s left crying on the floor. I have never seen Dean cry like that, I mean those faint sobs and hiccups are what actually broke me about this episode. The other thing is that Dean, ceo of toxic masculinity and repression, cannot possibly understand, process, accept and say out loud his feelings in the span of seconds, especially in such a stressful situation. The reason why nobody’s happy with Dean’s reaction is that there wasn’t enough time, to explain, to make him understand and react, to have what we wanted to. But again, I have hope, because there are still two episodes to go, and the show is not over. I think (I pray) Dean reciprocates Cas’s feelings, he was just unable to say it due to a lack of time.
So I recognise the negative aspects of destiel becoming canon (it’s still unreal that I’m able to new write this, like what!!!! What a world we live in), but I want, no I choose to focus of the positive parts. We all altready have a lot on our plates, between the pandemic, the election, and the show ending. So I just wanted to spread some positivity, because I think the acting in this scene was brilliant and the characters’ actions were suitable and something we can accept and work with.
But I think we’ll just have to see where this goes in the next two episodes.
#supernatural#spn#spn spoilers#supernatural spoilers#spn s15#15x18#destiel#destiel is canon#dean winchester#Castiel#spn finale
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You did ittt!!! OMG I was absolutely convinced that I should not get into a new OTP after that emotional train wreck Destiel but here I am, obSeSseD with Good Omens after I all that talking of yours (had to try) My friend said my eyes looked like shiny orbs of joy when we were watching this scene with Crowley pushing Aziraphale up the wall. Frickin hell, I'm trash now. Just trash. FUUUC how do we manage these feels? I need it to be canon, just this once! It will be, right? Do you know anything?
Take my hand, my friend, let me take you on a journey.
To understand the true significance of what we’ve been given, we need to begin earlier. A little more than 6,000 years earlier, to be precise. Just after the beginning.
An angel and a demon stand side-by-side, watching as the first humans make their way across an unforgiving landscape.
Angels and demons are, as one angel will later explain to his demonic counterpart, “hereditary enemies.” They’re supposed to hate each other. They’re supposed to distrust each other.
They are not, however, supposed to stand amiably beside each other on a wall as these two currently are. The demon, in particular, is not supposed to casually begin a conversation with an angel.
It would not be remiss to say that the connection between this particular angel and this particular demon is instantaneous. There is information shared in this first conversation that one would not normally share with an enemy.
“I gave it away,” says Aziraphale, and Crowley smiles.
It’s information that could very easily be used against the angel, but it never occurs to the demon to do so. Instead, when his companion voices worry over doing the wrong thing, Crowley comforts him and then answers that worry with one of his own: what if he’d done the right thing?
Crowley began this conversation and he is the one that keeps it afloat. A connection is forming between them, because Crowley–perhaps unknowingly, perhaps not–reaches out for it again and again.
Over the years, that connection only grows.
In 3004 B.C., Crowley once again approaches Aziraphale. He begins their conversation by gently teasing about the sword. He’s saying, “I remember you. I remember what we talked about. It’s been a while, but I haven’t forgotten.”
Something that is, we will eventually understand, important to Aziraphale. He’s dismissed by his own faction, but he is not dismissed by Crowley.
In 33 A.D., Crowley says, “Oh, no, I’ve changed [my name].”
It’s important to note this moment. 2,000 years in the future, a demon will ask, “What’s he calling himself up here these days?”
2,000 years and his name isn’t widely known among his own faction. But in 33 A.D., he makes sure that Aziraphale knows it. It wasn’t important to him that all of Hell knew what to call him; it was only important that Aziraphale knew.
In 41 A.D., Aziraphale approaches Crowley. This is important. He hasn’t before, but now they are familiar enough that he feels comfortable doing so. And more than that, he wants to share something that he likes with Crowley. Through one little “temptation,” he tries to build a deeper connection.
And, too, both here and in 537 A.D., we find that Aziraphale can recognize Crowley by voice alone, even through a suit of armor.
By 1601, they have an arrangement. By 1601, they have a rapport. By 1601, they can overhear Shakespeare say, “it would take a miracle,” and Aziraphale turns immediately to Crowley. His expression is beseeching, pleading, and Crowley answers that with an exasperated, “Oh, alright. My treat.”
By 1601, Aziraphale protests activating the arrangement again, because, “If Hell finds out, they won’t just be angry. They’ll destroy you.”
By 1601, Crowley has taken to circling behind Aziraphale as they talk; something that, up until this point in their history, we haven’t seen him do. It’s a protective tick.
He is, quite literally, watching Aziraphale’s back. He is monitoring, so that he knows the very second that things go south for them, and he is monitoring in such a way that Aziraphale won’t be harmed first, without Crowley having a chance to stop it.
By 1601, they are more than just colleagues.
In 1793, Crowley calls Aziraphale “angel” for the first time. He could mean it as a title. He could mean it as an insult. It is neither of those things.
In 1862, they have their first real, true fight. It’s because Crowley wants a weapon that will kill him–not discorporate, but kill–and Aziraphale won’t do it. His feelings have only grown and deepened. He can’t do anything, can’t provide anything, that will potentially bring harm to Crowley.
In 1862, Crowley hisses, “Fraternize?” because such a word has implications. It implies they are still enemies. It implies they are merely friends.
It’s impossible to know which one he is protesting. It couldn’t possibly be both. (It is both.)
In 1941, an angel trusts far too easily and gets himself into trouble. A demon walks on consecrated ground–something that blatantly hurts him–to save that angel.
In 1941, a bomb falls on a church and that same demon saves a small briefcase of books.
So much of what they’ve experienced together could be explained away. But to save his books is an act of selflessness that has no other meaning. Crowley knew that Aziraphale would be upset. Crowley knew him well enough to know that he would’ve forgotten the books in the mayhem. He made sure they survived.
In 1941, the music swells, and we slowly pan in to see realization dawning on the angel’s face. He is in love.
In 1967, Crowley plans a heist. We know what he wants from the church. Aziraphale swallows his pride and goes back on his own word–”No,” he said, in 1862, “absolutely not.”–to deliver that very thing. It’s safer this way.
None of the humans will understand how terribly vital it is that Crowley not touch the holy water. They won’t understand what it would do to him, should they accidentally spill it on him. But Aziraphale knows, and he brings the holy water to Crowley already in a closed container, because he needs Crowley to be safe.
“After everything you said,” Crowley says, because he understands how significant this moment is.
But 1967 is more than just an angel backing down so that no harm will come to his demon.
1967 is the year, the moment, that Aziraphale says, “Perhaps one day we could..oh, I don’t know. Go for a picnic. Dine at the Ritz.”
1967 is the year that Aziraphale openly suggests a date.
“I’ll give you a lift,” Crowley says in response. “Anywhere you want to go.”
Stay with me, is what he doesn’t say. We could have that date tonight.
And 1967 is the year that Aziraphale says, “You go too fast for me, Crowley.”
I can’t, he doesn’t say back. It’s too much, too quickly. I have to get used to this still. But if you wait for me…if you wait for me, then yes.
In 2008, the year that the Antichrist is born, they dine at the Ritz. It is clearly not the first time.
Aziraphale, who won’t entertain a conversation about stopping the end of the world, says, “This is purely social.”
He does not remember whose fault the Reign of Terror was, but he remembers that when they ate together, they had crepes.
In 2008, Crowley–a demon that we never see without his sunglasses, unless he is alone and safe in his home–sits on the couch in Aziraphale’s bookshop, and removes those sunglasses, the barrier between himself and the world. The world, but not Aziraphale.
In 2019, Aziraphale says, “I could entertain,” and Crowley instantly knows what he means. He groans the groan of someone who has had to sit through that “entertainment” too many times. He suffers through it again, because Aziraphale always gets his way.
In 2019, their bickering has become a familiar dance to them both.
In 2019, Crowley dismissively says, “No, I know what you smell like,” with an annoyance that implies that should be obvious.
In 2019, a blue paintball ruins a white coat that had been kept in tip-top condition for 180 years. Despite the fact that its wearer is, in fact, an angel and can miracle it away, this is not what happens.
Instead, the angel pouts at his demonic companion, his eyes wide and beseeching as he explains why it wouldn’t be the same as it would be if Crowley were the one to do it.
Crowley pouts back at him in sympathy, and then indulges Aziraphale, like always. Aziraphale’s answering smile is brighter than the sun.
Inside the ex-convent, Crowley pushes Aziraphale against a wall, ostensibly to intimidate him, but Aziraphale is not intimidated. He is not afraid. He is distracted by where the tips of their noses touch, because they are so close.
When they’re interrupted, it’s by a woman that says, “Excuse me, gentlemen, sorry to break up an intimate moment.”
They do not jump apart. They do not correct her.
When Crowley realizes he knows the woman and stops her from escaping, Aziraphale says nothing about Crowley’s previous annoyance or what he was trying to convey with his little display. Instead, he fusses about Crowley controlling a scared woman into stillness as he casually straightens his wrinkled clothing.
Crowley fusses back, and then they approach the woman together, as a singular unit.
In 2019, Crowley says, “Run away with me.” In 2019, Aziraphale says, “It’s over.”
Afterward, Crowley will go home and search for a place to go. He’ll decide on Alpha Centauri, but he won’t go there. He’ll dally. He’ll procrastinate. He’ll sit in a movie theater and brood, where he’s found by demons. Where he’s told that they finally know he’s messed up.
Will he go to Alpha Centauri then? No.
He’ll go back to Aziraphale. He’ll beg Aziraphale to go with him. He’ll apologize for an argument that wasn’t even his fault.
Aziraphale, visibly torn, will still refuse him.
Will Crowley leave for Alpha Centauri then? No.
He’ll go back to his apartment and he’ll plan. He’ll kill a demon and he’ll trap another and then, he’ll go back to Aziraphale again. He’s been rejected twice, but he’ll try again, because to Crowley, there’s no point in fleeing to survive if Aziraphale isn’t with him.
In 2019, Aziraphale will be cornered by three angels who do succeed in intimidating him, the way Crowley did not.
One of them will say, “Don’t think your boyfriend in the dark glasses will get you special treatment in Hell.”
Aziraphale knows better than any of them what that word means–boyfriend–having lived on Earth this whole time, but he does not correct them.
He should. He’s clearly in trouble with his faction. If he wanted to save face with them, he would deny that that’s what his relationship with Crowley is. He’d deny having a relationship at all.
He does not.
In 2019, Crowley will find the bookshop burning and Aziraphale gone and he’ll mourn. He’ll scream into the fire and he’ll pick up one of the few unburnt books left and he’ll carry it with him, despite the fact that he’s professed that he doesn’t read.
He will, when he’s reunited with Aziraphale, call it, “a souvenir.”
As he steps out of the bookshop, the music says, “Find me somebody to love.”
It isn’t a coincidence.
Nor is it a coincidence that the next time we see him, he’ll be in a bar. He won’t care about the apocalypse anymore. He won’t care until he sees the spirit of an angel in the seat across from him. Until he learns that Aziraphale is still alive and here.
Because there’s no reason to save the world if he can’t be in it with Aziraphale.
At the end of the world, Aziraphale says, “Do something or I’ll never speak to you again.”
The very thought of it hurts Crowley. He can’t abide it, cannot sit there and do nothing and allow it to come to pass. He stops time, so that it cannot come to pass.
After the end of the world, they sit on a park bench together. Crowley says, “Your bookshop isn’t there anymore, remember? It burned down.” And he says it with more gentle compassion than a demon should be capable of.
Because the bookshop was important to Aziraphale and only Crowley can know just how important; his reminder is said in the tones of someone who is grieving with their loved one, for their loved one and what they have lost.
They change faces, but even with Aziraphale’s face, Crowley cannot stop himself from circling his angel. It’s instinctual now, the need to protect.
They act like each other and in many ways, they’ve gotten it right, but in many ways, they’ve gotten it wrong, too.
In Aziraphale’s eyes, Crowley is suave and cool and a little bit dangerous. He’s untouchable, unmatched.
In Crowley’s eyes, Aziraphale is calm and cool and collected. Aziraphale is strong and steady and brave.
After Heaven and Hell have been dealt with, they sit on a park bench together. They laugh. They discuss, in a more serious tone, what the future might bring. It’s left unsaid that they will face it together; that’s obvious at this point.
When they leave, they don’t part ways. They dine at the Ritz.
And in 2019, at a table for two that miraculously came available at the Ritz, Aziraphale says, “You’re a good person,” and for the first time, Crowley accepts it with a little smile.
“And you,” he says, “are [enough of a bastard to be] worth knowing.”
Aziraphale blushes, his smile self-conscious, but he is ultimately pleased.
“To the world,” Crowley says, and he means, to us.
“To the world,” Aziraphale echoes, and those three words are said with so much affection, so much love, that you don’t need to be told that he means something else entirely–that he’s saying something else entirely–to know it.
“I need them to be canon,” you say. “Just this once.”
They already are.
You’ve just been shown their love instead of told it.
#marveldaydreamer#greenberg replies#good omens#the nice and accurate ramblings of desdemona greenberg#ineffable husbands#long post#really fucking long post#i mean neil gaiman says it's written as a love story#but that's the LEAST validating part about the whole damn thing#look at them#look at every damn moment between them#THAT IS A RELATIONSHIP#their journey narratively speaking is enemies to acquaintances to colleagues (of a sort) to friends to something that is more than friends#It is quite literally 6000 years of a slow-burn romance
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things i NEED to know as i read fic whether or not they are canon or fanon, buddie edition:
* did eddie hold buck's hand in the ambulance after the ladder truck incident???
* did buck and eddie actually share a bed during their quarantine?? (i know they quarantined in buck's loft with hen and chim but i must know if this detail is canon or fanon)
MORE TO COME PROBABLY
#buddie#i dont even go here??????#i could find out by actually watching the show but i refuse until i know i will not be painfully queerbaited again#and yet here i still am#i want to make a list of things that sound like fanon but are apparently CANON too at some point#bc it drives me just as feral as destiel cowboy pic in wallet PLEASE#BUCK TAKES CHRIS TO THE ZOO ALL THE TIME canon im fucking dying anyways
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Trying to process my very mixed feelings..
This past week has brought up a lot of stuff for me that I haven’t thought about in a really long time, so I’m writing this to try and process my incredibly mixed and confused feelings. Maybe in another week I’ll feel completely differently, but for now I’m just trying to make sense out of this swirling stormcloud in my brain.
As someone who was moderately in the SuperWhoLock community but never actually watched Supernatural, there was never a time when I knew about Supernatural without knowing about Destiel. They were introduced to me in the same breath. My literal first memory I have of the show was the “Don’t ruin it for everyone” clip that was being passed around. And that was the reason I could never bring myself to watch it. I was in the process of being queerbaited by Sherlock, I knew I was getting baited and I still couldn’t resist it. So I really, really did want to let myself get queerbaited twice at the same time. I was so sure that never in a million years would Destiel ever happen.
So I skipped Supernatural altogether and moved on to Hannibal, which I watched while it was airing, so you can imagine my horror when I thought I was getting baited again. I completely shut down that side of my brain and refused to acknowledge any subtext I noticed as being anything other than circumstantial. And when Hannigram actually became canon, I think it helped heal that wound a little, and I started to have hope for media again.
Then Yuri on Ice happened and stabbed me through the heart. I know a lot of people loved Yuri on Ice and considered it revolutionary, but personally I felt really betrayed by it. I felt tricked. Ambiguity & censored maybe-kiss to boot.
After that I spent a lot of time in fandoms where the shows were finished and the outcomes were known, because I was tired of the emotional whiplash. I pretty much gave up on ever finding a show with a lgbtq+ protagonist. I even started to become bitter about Hannibal, the show that had previously brought me so much hope. Because even though Hannigram ended up being technically canon, while Will Graham may have been bi/panromantic, it was pretty clear he was heterosexual. I was just so exhausted (and still am quite frankly) from everything just seeming like an excuse to not show same-sex intimacy onscreen.
I think 2019 was really the year that healed me in a major way. We got Klaus from the Umbrella Academy (and this year we found out Vanya is bisexual), and Good Omens. Not to mention in the period genre, Gentleman Jack, and a romantic partner for Downton Abbey’s Thomas Barrow (although that series is a whole other can of worms I’m not going to open right now). 2019, to me, was the year I didn’t have to beg for representation. I didn’t have to be in denial and convince myself I was crazy for seeing things because I was afraid someone else would call me crazy for seeing things. And that felt so freeing.
And so now, finishing off 2020 with Destiel, I can’t help but feel somewhat relieved. Yes, the confession scene was super problematic and there are things about it that really bother me. But I’m relieved because it feels like the end of an era- the queerbaiting era where Supernatural was king. They strung people along for so long, and I’m positive they had zero intention of canonizing Destiel until the last one or two seasons. Even though I’ve never seen Supernatural, the impact its queerbaiting had on this community was huge. It permeated everything. For the eight years I’ve known about Supernatural, its presence has been looming over me like an oppressive cloud, whispering, You’re never going to get representation, look at us! We’re one of the longest running sci-fi shows, with one of the biggest fandoms, and as long as we’re around, showrunners can look to us and say “Hey, Supernatural queerbaited, so why don’t we too?”
I understand why some people are angry, and I understand why some people are happy. Personally I keep oscillating between the two. But moreover I’m just relieved. Supernatural did something that nobody in a million years they would ever do. And to me, that confession, coupled with the end of the show, represents the end of an era where people thought it was ok to bait us. It gives me hope for a future where I never have to see the words “subtext is more meaningful” or “romance would cheapen their relationship” ever again. It gives me hope for a future where there are so many more, better options out there. To me, it represents a future where we don’t have to cling to Supernatural, and queerbait, anymore.
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Fic: Letters to Nowhere 1/3
Ship: Destiel, Sam/Eileen
Fandom: SPN
A03: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27829108/chapters/68131141
Warnings: Grief mostly
Tags: Angst with a happy ending, angst, found families
Characters: Dean, Sam, Castiel, Eileen, others in passing or in clips
Rating: PG-13
Length: 2k this chapter
Summary:
AU Post Inherit the Earth
After God is defeated, Sam decides to text the one person they're still missing with regular updates. Castiel can read them when he gets back. Because they are getting him back.
This isn’t Chuck’s story anymore. They’ve lost too much to him as it is. They’ve won: it’s time they feel like it. And act like it too.
Author’s Note:
It’s 2012 again, here’s Wonderwall.
This fanfic is not canon compliant after “Inherit the Earth” cus this is my city now. It’s been a really long time since I watched Supernatural, let alone wrote fic for it, so this is a bit like getting on an old rusty bike for me. I was dragged in with the news like everyone else, and because I am a firm believer of "fix canon yourself" here I am, writing fic for a fandom I only wrote for twice in my teens.
I wanted a Destiel reunion as much as anyone, but there are a lot of fics about that with the focus so I wanted to do something that also looked at Sam and Cas’ friendship. So this is a ship fic and a found family fic because I have two hands. I wanted this all to be a one shot, but it's 7K already and that's wild, so multi-chapter here we come. I hope to have this complete by the end of the year with an update weekly.
Fic below the cut:
He sends out the first one on the ride home from what should have been the end of the world with a dog in the backseat and the radio set to blast.
His phone has been beeping non-stop since Jack turned the lights back on. Dean’s too, though he can’t answer since he’s driving. Some messages he gets are from hunters he hasn’t heard from in years, folks he thought might have died on the job. He’s shocked they even remember what happened. The rest of the world didn’t. It’s such a departure from the last times they saved the world with nothing but silence and a new crisis to await them.
Eileen’s text to him causes his breath to catch. It’s a single sentence.
“This is real.”
If Dean notices him tearing up, he doesn’t mention it. He’s all eyes on the road, heading back to the Bunker like this was a regular job. After fifteen minutes of calls and messages, Sam opens his contacts to reach out to the one number he hasn’t heard from. His thumb lingers over “Castiel” about to press down when he remembers.
He looks to Dean, considering saying something, then decides better of it. The jubilation of their win sours in his head, the reminder that one person isn’t here to see it a depressing note on what should be their happy new beginning. They’d asked Jack to bring Cas back too, of course, but apparently his Godhood has limits when it comes to the empty. All he’d been able to provide them with was some leads to opening a portal and a wish of luck. No angel, no promise of resolution.
“Chuck would love this,” Sam thinks. “We can never have a victory without a loss to ruin it.”
Rage boils in his gut at the thought. This isn’t Chuck’s story anymore. He doesn’t get to dictate their life as an endless repeating tragedy. They’ve lost too much to him as it is. They’ve won: it’s time they feel like it. And act like it too.
He sends off the first message a few minutes later.
***
Hey man, it’s me, Sam.
I know this is kinda stupid: it’s not like you get bars in the Empty or anything. I don’t expect you to get these there. But when you get back, you should still have your phone (Dean said it went with you) and I plan to keep paying the bill so 1. You don’t have to ask someone for payphone quarters and 2. You can easily catch up on what you missed while you wait for us to pick you up.
We won. We are going to get you out of there. Promise.
***
So we won. Chuck is human now. Score one for Team Free Will 2.0.
But, Jack is gone. Not dead: he sorta became God. It’s a long story. Anyway, apparently Godhood means an anti-interference policy or something, so yeah he’s gone. I’m sorry you didn’t get to say goodbye.
He’s happy though. Which I guess is what matters, right?
We asked him about getting you back before he went hands off. He said he couldn’t grab you himself (something about the Empty being its own thing who knows) but he gave us some leads to start looking. Good leads too. And we’ve done more with less.
***
Eileen is waiting for them when they get back to the Bunker. Sam almost trips over his own feet to pull her into a hug. She laughs and hugs him back, and Sam was so sure he would only hear that laugh again on his voicemail that he starts crying on her nice jacket. She cries on him too, though Sam’s jacket is so covered in dirt and blood that the tears might actually make it cleaner.
Dean doesn’t say a word, just walks past them and mouths to Sam “I’ll be inside, loverboy” with a wink. The dog follows him. As soon as he vanishes behind the bunker door, Sam pulls Eileen into a kiss that is considered impolite to have in front of your sibling.
After they’ve both calmed down a fraction, Sam fills Eileen in on what she missed, signing as much as he knows. She looks devastated when he tells her about Cas, and Sam remembers that the two of them were starting to become friends. When he tells her about Jack she asks quite a few follow up questions trying to wrap her head around it all. Sam doesn’t blame her: he’s trying to wrap his head around it too.
“So, is it thank Jack now?” She signs, using the hand sign they came up for Jack’s name.
“I don’t think he’ll care either way.”
She walks towards the bunker, and Sam keeps step with her so she can see his face. “How’s Dean?”
“I don’t know,” Sam signs. “It’s hard to tell with him.” That feels like a massive understatement. Sam is sure he knows Dean the best out of everyone on the planet, but still his brother manages to surprise him. Sam can read through Dean’s bullshit better than most and he’s faster to get a clue when something is up, but figuring out how Dean is doing often feels like decoding a spell. Sam can get the general idea from just looking at it, but for the particulars, he has to put in legwork to decipher exactly what’s on his brother’s mind. All he knows at the moment is that Dean is not okay. The rest is a guessing game until Sam has more clues or Dean spills his guts.
They walk into the door and head down the stairs. Sam can see the dog, a giant ball of white fur, running around the wooden table in the middle, tail wagging.
“The dog is a surprise,” he signs. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Castiel and Jack’s names carved into the table and feels a pang of loss. Eileen walks up to the dog.
“Really?”
“I thought he hated them. They have bad history.” History is perhaps an understatement, but Dean’s trauma from Hell is not his to tell. He reaches down to pet the dog behind the ears and they bark happily. The dog makes a pitiful noise when Sam stops petting them to sign to Eileen. “I’m going to see where he went.”
Eileen nods, bending down to spoil their new furry friend. Sam heads down the hallway towards Dean’s room. When he doesn’t find him there, somehow, he knows where to look. Dean told him where it happened. Past the bookshelves and the door with Cas’ blood on it is Dean, staring at the wall. His palm is against it, head bowed.
“Dean?” Sam says, voice soft, trying not to startle. Dean keeps his pose for a second then turns around to take in Sam, a fake smile falling across his face. Sam knows it well: it’s too large, too tight at the edges, and it doesn’t reach Dean’s eyes. It’s the kind of smile they put on to talk to civilians on cases, the one to disarm and encourage the feeling that “everything’s alright.”
Sam has always hated seeing it directed at him. It’s a clue that translates to “something Dean doesn’t think Sam can fix.”
“Sorry, just taking a minute,” Dean says. He walks past Sam before Sam can say another word. “Do you know if Eileen is hungry? I think it’s time for dinner.”
Sam watches him go then turns back to the wall. He knows the significance of this room without being told, just from the sigil on the door and the upturned books. This was where Castiel died. Where the Empty took him.
“What the hell happened here?” Sam asks the empty space. He doesn’t get a reply but it’s not like he expected one. He knows Cas can’t hear him, but just in case, he closes his eyes and directs the question as a prayer, though the wording is slightly different.
“Cas, what the hell happened to you?”
***
[A photo is attached of a large white dog with floppy ears, lying on a bed next to a sleeping Dean. Both dog and man are drooling, the latter onto his pillow, the former onto Dean’s shirt. A dog bed rests in the corner of the room, unused.]
So Dean has a dog now. Her name is Miracle. She’s been here for two days and she already runs the place. Dean even let her have some of his bacon. I checked to make sure he wasn’t possessed just in case. He didn’t think it was funny.
I was shocked Dean wanted to keep her. You know how he is with dogs. But he insisted. And I guess it’s working out because well...you can see the picture.
Might start calling myself Uncle Sam to get on his nerves. I’ll report back on how that goes should I survive.
I’m looking into a book Jack told me to start at. There’s a spell in it, one to summon someone who might be able to help us help you. Don’t worry, no deal making required.
Hope to see you soon.
***
Dean is the one to tell Claire. Sam offers to do it for him, but Dean blows him off, gets in the Impala and drives down to deliver the news in person. He refuses to let Sam come with.
“This isn’t shit you should hear over a phone,” Dean says. “It’s my fault he’s gone. I should at least tell her myself.”
Sam is on edge the entire time he’s gone. When Dean comes back, he looks like absolute crap, and when he falls back in a chair, Miracle is quick to run to his side and place her head in his lap. Sam watches Dean pet her half heartedly behind the ears.
“That bad, huh,” Sam says. Dean reaches to pet Miracle under her chin.
“Kid lost enough. Don’t blame her for lashing out at the dude who cost her more.”
“Dean it’s not your-”
Dean looks up at him and his expression is stone. Sam’s words die on his lips. He knows better than to try to talk to Dean when he’s like this. Not unless he wants it to go badly.
This is another clue, he thinks. Dean blames himself for whatever happened and not just in his general “the world is my fault” way. Dean confirms it himself the next second he speaks.
“You don’t know what happened. And it is. Trust me Sam, it is.” He stands up and pats the dog on her head. “And it will be until we get him back. So any leads?”
Sam takes the distraction, but he makes a mental note not to let the conversation go. For now.
***
[Text is from a number belonging to contact “Claire Novak, FBI Cell”]
Fuck you for leaving me too.
***
Went to clean up your room a bit so it doesn’t get too dusty. Found it already in good shape. I think Dean has been keeping the cobwebs away. He really misses you, you know? He’s taking this...hard. I’m worried. I’m always worried but you know what I mean.
Also, I saw your collection of IDs. Agent Lizzo? Really? Did anyone buy that?
When you get back, we should make you some ones with some artists who aren’t as conspicuous as a lie. I’m shocked you didn’t get busted.
The ingredients for this summoning spell are kind of nuts, and they’re going to take time to gather. I’m using Rowena’s stash to make up most of it, but the real problem is making a lyre out of some petrified wood. We have to steal some from a National Forest Preserve. It’s an easy heist, but it’s kinda weird to be trying to con just some Park Rangers.
Also, do angels know how to play a lyre or is that just a stereotype? I’ve been up for over twenty seven hours reading this thing and I have to know. Tell me when you get back.
Also, what do you know about Orpheus?
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In what season and episode did you realised that Destiel went from subtext to actual text?
Difficult question really. I don’t exactly have a magic switch of some weird personal set goalpost I have, and frankly, wasn’t even really a shipper, just defended shippers, until... 13.5/6. I think I started slipping after 12.19 because I’m not a moron, I don’t live under a rock, I have eyes and know what the fuck a mixtape means to Gen X. But I kept it at arms reach because even Carver era was so totally subtextual-- atop all the stuff that got cut S10 after the S9 blowout, I didn’t exactly want to invest myself as much as point out shippers weren’t crazy for seeing what they saw, especially S8/9+ and even prior the resonance of the hero’s journey over our entire human civilization and historical othering of queerness made earlier readings or notices of it completely fair even if not really like, directional by the crew?
But to begin, Carver era was when I saw /intentful and meritful construction of the body of text, via subtext, to subtextually tell a story with classic queer coding./ Because a lot of what this fandom calls queer coding makes me want to hide my face behind a quantum hole of facepalms and is often like, pretty much the reverse of what should be advocated or considered. All those retro old “he’s been written as queer from S1″ make me want to kick puppies or something because oh my god it’s Not Good, most of the content there is Very Bad And Hugely Problematic, and it’s an attempt to retroactively prove what old canon was doing without any substance.
Carver era was the shift to substance, but silent substance. Subtext that’s genuinely thematically scaffolded into the storyline in a way that while the events themselves were largely cued on subtext, consideration of that subtext was critical to understanding the full body of text and people that refused to grow into and adapt with that text as the tone shifted are the ones that got more and more confused and angry.
Dabb era was the threshold crossing into (often low-visibility) text. Fandom intentionally arguing points that require complete removal from social structures (which is everything from regional meanings of major symbols, social codes, language, or why-letters-mean-things) doesn’t mean shit doesn’t mean what it means. A mixtape isn’t subtext any more than getting on one knee and popping open a box is subtext even if they don’t verbalize the words. We know what these fucking things mean and anyone who doesn’t is in DESPERATE need of going outside and experiencing the real world before making any kind of social commentary on a body of text.
When it comes to dialogue text, Last Call is where Bi Dean or at least Queer Umbrella Dean was textualized. Again, it doesn’t matter if people don’t understand the long argued history that was put to bed about repeat sexual encounters with men, it doesn’t matter what the gender of the other triplets were, literally none of that matters. It doesn’t matter if the person understands it. It doesn’t matter if they know their queer culture enough to know their arguments were already buried. It is what it is.
There’s this disillusionment that unspoken physicalized shit like kissing or sex, or verbalized ones like “I love you,” but “I love you, in a gay way, specifically and only you, and want to be romantic with you” because every other statement of the like so far has people crying or arguing about it as not enough either.
These things are nice, but it is not the only way to deliver a textual romance. These are things we want and deserve, and people aren’t wrong for wanting them, the only wrong comes in deleting other text because it isn’t the style of text they want. 100% unhelpful.
Text in AV is complex. No matter how decontextualized people try to pretend this all is, throwing pasta at the wall and calling it an argument worth validating, AV media study doesn’t just incorporate social codes on shit like dialogue -- though anyone that applies those social codes wouldn’t be arguing anyway, as per my old post on that -- but visual language and TV literacy are a long studied topic and are just as relevant as understanding of textual/verbal language and having textual literacy. People trying to eschew these in the interest of favoring fanspaces to try to keep them equal within the canon, which is NOT what fandom space equality is supposed to be about, is just... lol.
When that soap opera reporter that doesn’t even watch the show wandered in commenting on the full mise en scene of the 15.03 breakup being classical “Dark Point in the Romance” framing, that’s not subtext. In a book, characters aren’t running around on a blank canvas. Their environments are the text.
What people may draw symbolically out of an environment varies, and if someone’s /interpretation/ holds up, that’s fine. But being able to digest the entire presentation of a work, that is to say, to read an entire scene in a book and understand their setting and the relevance of that setting is simply a form of text. And when literal fucking randos can spot classic cinematography, it’s time to consider what the full cinematic framework is telling you both in incremental minutiae of texts and in the full body of work.
So basically, I acknowledged lowkey text based on the most basic understanding of social codes, by 12.19, even if I was still kinda eyerolling about it. By 13.5/6, Castiel returned to Dean in something later echoed by Eileen for the zoom shot, but the rest of the arrangement was verbatim identical to the original ending of Swan Song with Lisa, with the only difference being “Never too late” wasn’t a verbal line, but an entire sound track they applied to highlight the scene.
Despite the Swan Song parallel ending reactives went up in arms about the fact that they weren’t having big romantic moments anymore and kinda failed to wrap braincases around the fact that the endgame reunion that was literally the ORIGINAL endgame shot, which ALSO didn’t include physicality (in fact, the text read, “this isn’t sexual at all. He’s a lost soul, and she’s his home” in the script for Lisa), and this dumbass fandom would go “SEE PROOF THAT MEANS THE TEXT MEANS IT WASNT SEXUAL AND HE JUST BECAME BEST FRIENDS THAT WAS HER BEDWARMER MAYBE SHE HAS COLD FEET AT NIGHT” and that’s not how this fucking WORKS. Common sense is NOT removed from fucking discussion and what sense is applied needs to be levelly-- again, social codes.
So at 13.5/6 I had considered it textually paramount to the original endgame arrangement. S14 was just... blatant ass domesticity. Dean got his happy ending. He had his family. He got his win, his everything. They spoke frequently in the kitchen -- only vaguely over cases, more slapping around idioms, eyerolling over barbarous eating, and occasionally discussing how to raise their son. In fact, if you look at non-research-non-casework S14 kitchen scenes I’m gonna let you sit there and map out what all those domestic moments in the heart of the kitchen was, minding 13.5/6.
It was something gained. It was their life. And it was something to lose. 14.18 already advert framed it, we all saw it. Troubled family. People delete history of what is connected where to pretend “we” is vague or makes the romance any less of a canon piece and lmao guys
And season 15 is their year long run where they’re spearheading a huge part of the plot and will be a critical final resolution.
Speaking of 13.5/6 and social codes, anyone remember that Jack hadn’t met Dave Mather and looked at one nonphysical picture of them and recognized “he’s her boyfriend”? SOCIAL CODES MEAN SHIT GUYS.
So there’s no magic moment. There’s S8/9 coding and subtext. There’s S12′s tape and other elements -- tape is just the easiest to nail down but several through the year tbh -- there’s S13′s Never Too Late, and all things that followed that in waterfall. There’s S14′s established domesticity with Castiel having essentially moved into the bunker, something that wasn’t even entirely established in S12 yet even if he was more frequent there than Carver era.
Without social codes, I could argue that “Dean loves pie” doesn’t actually mean he loves pie. In fact, I could argue those letters mean nothing, because basic social codes are what even give words meanings. Without them these are just squiggly lines on a screen. If I eschew social codes, I could take a “love me some pie” line from Dean and say it means he fornicates with children and make long convoluded excuses around it instead of the observable fucking fact that Dean fucking Winchester likes goddamn pie.
Waiting for your perfect personally dreamed magic moment for a landmark to call text generally disregards the full body of the text and merit of the work. The amount of time and effort this FUCKING shipping fandom has put into -- even Destiel shippers -- bashing down and calling blatant ass text subtext because it’s not the text they want -- just because they want to argue with people that threw the logic baby out with the destiel bathwater they thought was dirty -- it’s fucking embarrassing tbqh. Imagine if people’s competitive fandom BS was muted how anyone here would be addressing this body of text.
Like. “After Carver directed Misha to play Castiel as a jilted lover in season 9, Cain through S10 escalated it into Castiel as Colette, which was confirmed by both the author and actors, seating him as a lover, as Sam was Abel the brother; by season 11, pining and connected hearts becomes the driving theme of the show, repeatedly denounced both in text and showrunner commentary that it wasn’t Amara that was that romance, and instead, a different one rose; by season 12, domestic arguments were many, mixtapes were shared, coming into rooms and playing people for things secretly stashed under pillows were a hinging plot moment, by season 13 he was the Never Too Late Big Win as a far more powerful version of Lisa, by season 14 Castiel moved in, by season 15 their giant sacred marriage euchartist ceremonies on repeat are driving the entire body of the season while overtly making the straight pairing a secondary parallel to the primary Dean and Castiel pairing by 15.09 such as the AU scene, or the ending where they mimicked the same phrase, truncated by physicality. But anyone viewing this text is an adult not competing for their preferred fandom playbox to be considered in the text, and had eyeballs, saw Sam and Eileen were clearly courting, flirting, and/or romantically engaged for a long time before this.”
Can we hope for the equality in that, sure. I want that, sure. That doesn’t erase all the other modes of text before that though.
But there, I just addressed 4 consecutive seasons of storytelling as its stands in the critical themes, without breaking down the dozens of independent scenes themselves that have already been analyzed to death and yall have scorched in your eyeballs by now like angels have prophet names.
I’ve seen people desperately, desperately try to reinterpret this text, or this story structure, in inconsistent ways that fall short. They’re never held accountable for their entire shit falling flat on their face, they just keep building new shit that falls on its face too and keep using it as a base. People can *interpret* ~text~ however they want. Anyone that tells you that “true text is inarguable” is either an idiot or selling you something for your subscription to their blog. Anyone CAN make any jackass interpretation of anything they want.
So sure. You can make some nonsensical explanation around every core theme their relationship is shadowed by, removing all social codes and context from basic elements understood by adult human beings natively, whatever. You can take 200 pages writing around it and degaying it. Generally when I see this, I see unhinged, incomplete writings with no central thread, just a thousand disembodied excuses that don’t even make a story. They’re just that. Desperate excuses. Years of it at this point. And they’re free to /interpret the text like that/ if they want. But that’s their /interpretation/ of a /text/ and as-above generally in /intentional, willful, conscious denial and erasure of the basic social codes we all understand./
Just because they /can/ warp the most left field interpretation doesn’t make it not text. If I pulled an “I don’t know I can’t english suddenly” and threw those codes out the window that doesn’t mean that the shit doesn’t mean the shit it means just because it’s inconvenient to me lmao
And this isn’t necessarily at you, Nonnie, I just feel the need to expand on this because any single time I don’t nail down these conversational stakes, someone breezes through and intentionally hotboxes the conversation to go down these very predictable manipulations and extremizations of the conversation that I really am far too tired to repeat the arguments raging in my mentions again, so I head ‘em off before the shit ever reblogs.
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