Tumgik
#i really am liking my book right now though
Text
Disgusting
An anonymous request
"People like Reg a lot more now that you two are shagging."
The comment had been said so casually by Barty a few days ago, and yet it hadn't left James's brain since.
In the logical part of his brain, he knew it wasn't a thing. Regulus wouldn't just date him for his reputation.....
Right?
And James had always had the reputation of being so confident, so together, so self-assured, that asking felt like...weakness. Like admitting there might be some reason Regulus shouldn't like him.
So he kept quiet.
But of course, he wasn't really known for being quiet, either, so it only took Regulus a few days to recognize something was wrong.
"Potter," he sighed softly as they sat squished together in a single chair in the library. "You aren't giving me a headache. Why? Did Sirius tell you his Transfiguration is better again, because you know that's a load of shit."
Sighing, James shook his head. "No....it's just...do you like me, Reg? Like properly?" He hated himself for asking. But he had to know.
But Regulus's look of revulsion didn't help him feel any better. At least until the younger boy snapped his book shut and looked up at him. "James. I like you so much it's disgusting."
And he couldn't help but grin at that. "I-yeah? Really?"
Regulus rolled his eyes. "How could you think otherwise? I literally am sharing my favorite armchair with you. You should be honored."
But even though he knew Regulus was poking fun, James grinned and said sincerely. "I am."
500 notes · View notes
scorpioriesling · 2 days
Text
Tumblr media
Random Tropes HC (pt. 1)
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *
Pairing(s): Rhysand / Azriel / Cassian x reader
Warnings: slight sexual suggestions
Summary: Random tropes, and how each would play out, depending on the character... and you, of course.
SR’s Note: I saw a filter on Tik Tok talking about book tropes, and ranking your favorite to least favorite... so this idea came to mind. I am using my top 6 (not in order) for the purpose of this post -- enjoy! Part 2
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *
Rhysand - "Slow Burn" / "Forbidden Love"
Only he would get involved in something very dangerous, for both you and him
But, he wouldn't care. He had to have you
In this version, you'd be Tamlin's sister, and he knew how dangerous it would be to be with you
At first, you hated him (as your brother taught you) but... over time you realized how shitty your brother was and you started falling for the High Lord of the Night Court
But, like Tamlin, your stubbornness would get in the way
"Keep playing pretend all you want, princess," Gods you hated when he would see right through the walls you tried to put up. "I know it's me you think of when you're alone at night."
When you finally drop the act, Rhysand is... oh boy
"You really like making me wait, don't you?" He would say, breath hot on you ear while he ran his fingers down your arms from behind.
You couldn't even begin to explain how hard it's been to hold out, to pretend you still hate hijm even though you haven't for quite a while.
"Shhh..." He would brush a strand of hair from your face, lips grazing your jawline. "No need to explain anything. I quite enjoy looking at what's going on in that pretty little head of yours myself."
Every time, you feel like you'll fully give in...
Rhysand doesn't mind the chase.
"You know what I want..." he would say. He would always wait until you were alone together, not wanting to cause anything with his enemy.
"... when the time is right." You finish. He would start staying overnight with you, his fingers tracing up and down your thigh but never going much further.
That alone and his eyes gazing into yours as he laid with you... that could turn you to mush.
The soft kisses he'd leave on your cheekbones, toying with the tendrils of your hair...
All for it to end in the morning, him pressing a kiss to your forehead before winnowing back to the Night Court without a trace.
Cassian - "Fake Dating"
Rhysand had not only given his brother the title of War General, but had also supplied him with a second in command.
You'd been taking training lessons from Cassian in a group setting. He tried really hard to keep his attention to other participants fair, but... something about you really stuck out to him.
Maybe it was the way your braid swung when you executed a move he'd only just taught the class; maybe it was the way your leggings hugged the curve of your ass, accentuated when he would have you practice punches and kicks with the punching bag...
It wasn't just your beauty. You were smart, witty, cunning... but also a very skilled fighter.
Cassian wasn't the only one to notice either.
"As the newly appointed second in command," Rhysand said, hands folded on his desk before him. You stood next to Cassian in Rhys' office. "You will be joining Cassian on his excursions from now on." Your eyed widened, and you elbowed the gorgeous male to your right.
"He can't defend himself all alone?" You say, a smirk pulling your lips. Cassian rolls his eyes, but Rhys just stares between the two of you, grinning smugly.
"Something like that."
You got along suprisingly well with the Lord of Bloodshed; he asked for your thoughts, took your advice, and leaned on you for support when you ventured to the Continent together. You'd become... dare you say it... friends.
"Oh come on, everyone's going!" Cassian threw his hands up, still standing in your doorway. You shrugged at him.
"Yeah, but... I don't really know anyone. Besides Rhys, I mean. Even then, he is kind of my boss, so..." You say, folding clothes and putting them in drawers. Cassian plops down on your bed, and when you return for the next stack, he's looking up at you with pleading hazel eyes.
"You don't have anything else tonight, right?" He asks, grabbing a hand in yours. Cassian was very touchy, and though usually you weren't, it was something you decided to let slide.
"I mean... no..."
"Its settled. You're coming with me! I'll even fly us there, so you can wear whatever shoes you want. Don't worry about the walk." He winked and walked out, so... nonchalantly. Like he didn't just reduce you to a pile of putty with his sweet notion.
It wouldn't have mattered if you wore a potato sack, Cassian would have still stared -- but you chose a tiny black dress, and glittering silver heels instead.
His eyes roamed over you when he came to pick you up, and a small chuckle fell from his lips.
"W-wow, Y/N, you look...." He doesn't finish his sentence. You roll your eyes and blush.
"Different than usual?" You supply. He gulps and nods his head, offerring you a hand. You take it, and walk to the front patio of the House of Wind.
"Hold onto me, okay?" He says. You look into his eyes, and he grins at you. "If you get scared, tell me and I'll return us to the ground.
You snort. "Oh please, Cass, do I look like I'm afraid of anyTHING-"
In seconds, his arm has wrapped under your thighs, the other holding you close around your waist. You squeeze your eyes shut, burying your face into his chest. His teakwood scent invades your nose, and you relax a little knowing this is right where you've wanted to be for months.
When you get to Rita's -- you find that you are easily the main attraction. Not only of the Inner Circle, but the place itself. Morrigan is talking your ear off, you politely spoke to Azriel, and even Rhysand has forgone his usual formal appearance.
But, like I said... others in the bar have noticed you too.
"Heyyy baby," a man's hand braces your lower back as you stand at the bar, waiting on the two drinks you offerred to get for your new friend Mor and yourself. You turn, a look of disgust on your face.
"Eew, don't touch me." You say. He only snickers, sliding onto the seat next to you.
"Let me buy you a drink." He says. His eyes are glazed over, and you continue to stare in pure distaste.
"No thanks." You clip. He huffs a laugh and leans closer to you.
"Why not, pretty girl? I don't see anyone else up here takin' care of you." Your face heats. He isn't going to leave you alone. You look over your shoulder, hoping to spot Cassian, Morrigan, Hell, even Rhysand. But you can't see anyone.
You angrily turn back to the loser next to you. "I'll have you know, I could totally kick your ass right now if I wanted to." You sneer. He laughs out loud, scooting closer and putting a hand on your leg. You gasp. "And-"
"And what, doll?" He drawls. You fumble for words, any excuse to get this creep to leave you alone.
"And... uh... and-"
"She has a boyfriend."
You turn, feeling Cassian's large hands bracing your shoulders. You let out a sigh of relief, and shoot him a Thank the Cauldron look.
"Oh... oh Gods uh I am so sorry-" The idiot fumbles, scrambling back and out of his chair.
"Save it. Don't touch her again." Cassian glares, and the guy shoos away. When he is finally out of earshot, you turn and take Cassian's hands in yours.
"Cass, oh Gods thank you..." you say. He gives you a strained smile, eyes flicking between yours and to where your hands now held his.
"It's no problem." He said. You turned, facing the bar as two drinks were slid across it to you. Cassian grabbed them both, and followed you to the booth where his friends sat. He sat one in front of Mor, and took a sip from your straw before handing yours to you.
"Heyyy," you said. He only grinned at you, allowing you to slide into the seat before him. Rhys looked at you with a smirk, and you didn't think to hard what he was getting at because the conversations started up again. Within minutes, Cassian rested his cheek on the side of your head, arm wrapped around your waist, tracing tiny circles on your bare thigh. You sucked in a breath when you caught onto what he was doing.
"Cassie, what are you..." His hand stopped to rest on your hip, and he peered down at you.
"Dance with me?" He asked. You simply nodded, following his to the dance floor where upbeat music played. You faced him, and he once again took your hands in his, swaying with you to the beat. When a more sensual song came on, he moved your hands to his chest, and replaced his on your hips, pulling you impossibly close. With each movement, you felt your heart explode a little more; you knew you cared for him more than usual friends do. But pretending to date would only hurt in the end; you enjoyed this way too much.
"Cass, I.." You started. His left hand moved to rest atop your butt, and your breath caught in your throat. He leaned down to talk over the loud music.
"You... what, Y/N?" Ughhh. Your name sounded so good on his lips.
"I, uh... that guy. He isn't here anymore, so. We can stop pretending." You gazed up at him, his hazel eyes dark and focused on your lips.
"And what if I'm not pretending?"
Azriel - "Enemies to Lovers"
Ohhh he would want you from the get go.
In this version, you'd be Eris's full sister, and Lucien's half sibling.
"What's she doing here?" He would ask when Eris brought you with him to the meeting he was to attend with the Inner Circle.
"Trust me, I didn't want to. Beron made for her to come with me." Eris would say, not missing the glare Azriel pointed at you. You only returned the sentiment.
"What's it to you?" You asked. Azriel folded his arms across his chest, his biceps bulging from the tight black tee he wore. You couldn't help but let your eyes linger for a moment, before returning to his face when he spoke again.
"Whatever. I just don't want any other liabilities." You scoffed, beelining for the door to the meeting hall where the rest of the Inner Circle waited. Your shoulder clocked Azriel as you passed, and Eris chuckled.
"Maybe I brought her for some entertainment," he whispered lowly, following you into the meeting room. Azriel said nothing else as he trailed in last, pulling the door closed behind him.
"So whatever did you need to talk about?" Eris says, taking the seat across from Rhysand. Of course he would, leaving the last two empty chairs across from one another for you and Azriel.
"You know why I've called you here." Rhysand purrs. They begin their conversation, and you feel a tiny tickle around your wrist. You look down and see a slim, black tendril of a shadow. When you peer down at it, it seems to seize its movements. You give a small smile, and it continues its dance around your fingers.
"What has your sister said about this arrangement?" Rhys asks, making you look up. Your cheeks heat as all eyes are now on you. What was the question?
"I uh, I think whatever needs to be done is up to the better judgement of my father," you say. Rhysand's eyebrows rise, and Eris glances sidelong at you, giving you a silent confirmation. You're glad you answered somewhat correctly.
Glancing across the table, Azriel is still staring daggers into you. You shoot him a small snarl, and remember the smoky tendril winding around your knuckles. A devilish smirk takes over your lips.
You flutter your fingers, and the shadow follows your command, returning to Azriel. It drifts up his exposed forearm, and slips under his shirt. He shifts uncomfortably, glancing around and swallowing.
"It's settled then. Y/N will reside here for the time being-"
"Wait, what?" You say, realizing you've spoken in unison. Azriel is squirming in his chair, shadow still tickling him as he looks at Rhys with pleading eyes.
"Why would she need to be here?" He asks lowly. You snarl at him, crossing your arms.
"Its obviously not my first choice either, bat." You say. This time he glares back at you. "Don't worry; I won't have anything to do with you while I'm here." You finish, nose upturned as you fix your gaze on your brother beside you again. He leans over and gives your knee a squeeze, pride showing in his face.
"It's settled then." He stands, and you do the same. Eris and Rhys shake hands, and he makes to walk out the door. You trail behind him, as you hear Azriel pleading and begging Rhysand to make you go home.
"She is staying, Azriel. I've already made up my mind. This is the next best move we could make." He explains and Azriel shoves his chair in, the legs scraping on the floor. Pathetic.
"Listen, if anything happens to you here, you just give me a shout, okay? I'll come get you-" You wrap your arms around your big brother. He sighs and returns the hug. You peer over his shoulder and catch Azriel staring at you from the doorway. You snicker.
"I will be just fine, I promise." He nods, placing a hand on your arm one last time before making to leave. The rest of the members have already cleared out, leaving just you and Azriel.
He doesn't wait to pounce on you once your brother is out of earshot, but you know better. You've known better for years; Azriel is always so tempermental. So... ugh, annoying. So, hot.
"Save it Az - you cant't get rid..." You're cut off by his hand gripping your elbow, falling into darkness as he winnows you both. When you open your eyes, you realize you're in a bedroom. A big one, with cream colored drapes and sheets on the bed. You barely take in the scene around you before your hands are pinned above your head against the back of the closed bedroom door.
"Azriel." You say, tone low and menacing. He glares down at you, leaning in towards your face.
"What the hell was that?" He seethes. Your brow raises in question.
"What are you-" You breath is coming in short pants. The scent of sage and sea salt rolls off him, gently caressing your senses as you try to focus on what he asked you. You're a bit distracted, you'll admit. This golden flecked eyes, staring intensely at you. The light dusting of freckles across his sun-kissed nose. His lips that are so close to yours...
"Manipulating my own shadows. Trying to distract me duirng the meeting? What the hell was that?" He breathes. You let a small smile grace your lips. His pull back as he bares his teeth at you, and you chuckle.
"Aww, Az, it's nice to see you still brush every morning -- maybe if you smiled more-" He surges forward, crashing his lips onto yours. Your eyes blow wide in shock, his free hand grasping your hip bone and pulling you close to him. His lips feast on you hungrily, biting your lower lip as his tongue dances with yours, battling for dominance. You can't help but let out a low groan, and his grip on your wrists loosens. When he finally pulls back, gasping for air, you grin mischeviously at him.
Gotcha. Right where I wanted you.
56 notes · View notes
Text
Look if I could leave the ACOTAR fandom, I would. Unfortunately, I am stuck here until Lucien’s book. So my random musings about how SJM might handle certain character arcs keep me sane.
It really feels like an Elucien book is next because the biggest problems spoken about in ACOSF were as follows:
Spring Court —> Tamlin
Koschei —> Vassa
Beron —> Eris
What do Tamlin, Vassa, and Eris all have in common? Lucien! Who spoke Koschei’s prophecy? Elain! Guess who are mates? Elain and Lucien!
I feel like Vassa might be “forced” to betray Lucien and Jurian because of her connection to Koschei. I don’t think she’ll be a big bad though, she will definitely wind up with Jurian.
Now Jurian: he went into the Cauldron too. He had BETTER have some freaky ass powers we don’t know about yet or I’m going to riot.
Lucien High Lord/King when?? He’s the only High King I’d accept!
Elain will hopefully get healing and earth magic along with her seer magic. Mystical gentle feminine women for the win!
Now how will SJM handle Spring? No fucking idea. I don’t know how SJM is going to keep Tamlin as High Lord. Like logically, how will she bring Spring back while still having Tamlin at the helm? He has lost the trust of his people. Yeah yeah, it was Feyre’s fault, but let’s be real, Feyre won’t be held accountable.
Abdication and death are other possibilities for Tamlin’s arc, and I feel like Elain will play a role in healing Spring’s land. She was associated so much with Spring for a reason.
Now Helion: how tf will THAT be handled? I mean, Gavriel still haunts my dreams, so let’s hope it’s not THAT disaster. Now my biggest interest in the Day Court is having Elain and Lucien riding and adopting pegasi if I’m being real.
Now Autumn: obviously Eris will become High Lord, but who gets to off Beron? Personally hoping for the Lady of Autumn, but will I get my wishes? Jury is still out. Right now Autumn is the most interesting court to me so I really hope we get to see it in great detail.
Off topic but I want to know more about Nuan. Random trip to Dawn so we can learn more about her please!
46 notes · View notes
flowersdiceandlove · 2 days
Text
Last night I wasn’t feeling good, so my mom—my wonderful, amazing mom who I love and am so lucky to have—offered to read some of Heaven Official’s Blessing to me. I’d just finished book 6 and hadn’t started 7, so she read the first chapter of book 7 to me. She has fun doing it. She reread about the first half of book 1 and a chapter here and there in the others volumes in the past, so this wasn’t the first time she’s done this. She’s unused to the Chinese names, and so I have to remind her who the characters are. Here is an incomplete list of how I remind her of the characters.
Xie Lian = the main character (luckily she knows this one by now)
Hua Cheng = the love interest (she got him mixed up with mu qing last night for some reason. Normally I don’t have to remind her)
Mu Qing = the sarcastic/condescending one
Feng Xin = the angry one
Pei Ming = he’s flirtatious (and with only that two word explanation of him, she read his line perfectly. Exactly how I imagined it)
When Fu Yao and Nan Feng were in it, I used Mu Qing and Feng Xin’s explanations respectively.
She messes up the pronunciation, but has finally remembered (at least most of the time) that “x” makes a “sh” sound and “q” a “tch” sound. She also has endless trouble with the gege = guh guh wanting to pronounce it jee jee. She also often says Xian Lian instead of Xie Lian and just can’t quite get Hua Cheng right. She really is trying though.
Also, also when it was revealed what the “giant” in the Kiln was, she was so shocked and her expression alone caused me to laugh for several minutes.
And, before you ask, yes, she likes HuaLian.
Two more things. 1) she absolutely loves the tremendous masculinity/Ju Yang euphemism, and it has become something I bring up to make her laugh. 2) she always forgets the word “fuck” is used in the books. Every. Single. Time. No matter how many times she reads it.
This post has not been intended as a roast to my mom. She’s amazing , and I love it when she reads this to me. It’s a little way we can spend time together and she can enjoy my interests with me. If anything this is me bragging about her awesomeness, sprinkled with comedy. Anyway, wish my mom luck on learning those Chinese names. They really are hard for her to learn. 😬🫤
32 notes · View notes
vera-dauriac · 2 years
Text
Since discovering that our local library has Naxos streaming video, which includes just shy of 600 complete operas, hubby and I have taken to popping on an opera most evenings. If it's good, we watch and enjoy. If it's not, we leave it on for background and I read. It's often an internal debate if I hope to discover a wonderful new opera or hope it's mediocre so I can get back to my book.
We're just skimming through alphabetically by composer, and tonight is Furlanetto singing Mefistofele.
12 notes · View notes
jattendschaton · 1 year
Text
You ever read the way someone writes a character and think 'oh yeah, you definitely wrote for x fandom before this' and then one step further do you ever go back and get reinvested in a previous hyperfixation and realize you are writing your current blorbos in a distinctly fandom x-ish way?? Do I even have new blorbos or all they all just slight variations of the same bitch
159 notes · View notes
nyxofdemons · 3 months
Text
four years for this show...
#IM SORRY. ITS JUST. IM SO. HHHHHRGN#its fine. its good. its entertaining to say the least#but from a writing perspective......#im not an anti i am the worlds biggest helluva boss enjoyer the hellaverse is SO SPECIAL TO ME#but.. the more i see about hazbin s1......#how in over four years was this what you came up with. how is the pacing this insane. how is this character treatment ok.... PLEASE#my sorta toxic trait is that as someone obsessed with media analysis; narrative devices; and story structure -#as well as just. someone who is an aspiring showrunner/creator working on my own huge projects -#is that every time i come across a movie or show that i think is done in a really lacking way. all i can think about is how i would#have done it instead#(this happens in a non-critical way too tbf if i really enjoy a book or game i'll be like they should let me make a based on film)#but hazbin. hazbin. all i have right now is 'i could fix her' in my head#I WOULD TREAT THESE CHARACTERS RIGHT I WOULD GIVE THEM THE NARRATIVE THEY DESERVE#there is. so much potential here. how is the execution so lacking#mine#good ideas!!!! good moments!!!!!!!! THE OVERALL CONSISTENT NARRATIVE IS NOT DOING SO HOT#as a side note though i really think this is why helluva is doing so much better in terms of pacing and writing. the structure of that show#is so much more accommodating to a long intricate story WHILE weaving in a billion different character stories#8 episodes for hazbin is insane season 1 needed twice as much#nyx crit tag
13 notes · View notes
Text
a hard thing about having my brain is that when i am really into something, i enter a state of weird mania where my creative energy is completely crackling and tireless and single-minded, as evinced by the three fics, one vid, and one zillion posts i have inflicted upon the romangerri tumblr community since sunday D:
11 notes · View notes
imaginecorporation · 1 year
Note
Welcome back to Tumblr! Hope the past year has been kind to you and hope this year will be kinder.
You came back right on time to enjoy PM's Hell Chicken event! Especially since the pinned post mentioned you enjoyed Meursalt's character, which this event will gift you with hahahaha. Once you do watch it, and you'll know it when you see it, mind telling us what you think about it?
- Faithanon
OH WE BOTH ALREADY PLAYED IT! ALSO HELLO FAITHANON I HOPE THIS PAST YEAR HAS BEEN KIND TO YOU TOO... It was a super eventful one (good and bad) for us, but luckily most things are settling down and unless someone spontaneously explodes in front of me or something I should be fine (same with Mod Aleph I think, but I'll let her reblog this and say her thoughts when she wakes up)
I. Am. So obsessed with Meursault dude. I literally bought and read The Stranger and he is so like me for real. Admittedly I do mask my autism a little in public and on this blog, but in person when I'm not masking (or back when I was in school) I was legitimately almost exactly like Meursault, autism and all. I don't kin him though but he is helping me love myself, and I would marry him in a heartbeat, something something learning to love oneself through the lens of another something something
Also I am thriving with Meursault's blunt and frankly brutal critique of his team's cooking when led by Don Quixote, bonus points for the Yi Sang puns while verbally eviscerating Yi Sang for his shit job. 12/10 I was mentally proposing on the spot.
-Mod Finn
8 notes · View notes
gutsfics · 11 months
Note
Lol I felt the same about OH3. And I usually enjoy Big Disaster plots but I romanced Rafael and just want him to be happy (but the maitotoxin attack makes me very uncomfortable still).
Although I wouldn’t have minded something happening to MC and they’re looked after by their LI for a few chapters 🥰
pb should have given us a Big Disaster plot where Ethan got his shit wrecked, for once 😤 jkjk lmao unless
honestly pb really fumbled the maitotoxin attack. like between their original plan of killing of Raf (WHY. HES THE BEST) & the whole thing being resolved in like a day in-story it was just kind of a mess
also the mc just. going back to work just a few days later? and after their initial "oh my god i almost died in this room" they're perfectly fine? yeah. no. they should have had some lasting damage
in my hc world, Baxter totally has PTSD from it (on top of their hospital-related trauma from their childhood. so. fun for them!) & they've also formed a much closer bond w Raf through it, due to them a) both nearly dying (Baxter gets way closer to dying than canon!mc did, probably way closer than my Raf would have) and b) being each other's last person to have physical contact with while thinking theyre gonna die
but YES i love a good hurt/comfort & it would have been nice to get more LI Taking Care Of MC than that one single diamond scene during the maitotoxin attack. especially bc Raf wasn't even an option to have a diamond scene with bc he was there dying with you.
5 notes · View notes
elytrafemme · 7 months
Text
long theoretical post about my friend hugging me
like. to dissect a matter that none of you are involved in and then i'll delete in the morning: my friend in college hugged me about ten minutes ago and i don't understand why. he's a physically affectionate person so we knew it was bound to happen, it was a running joke between us that we'd like schedule our hug to happen. nothing extraordinary happened tonight. in the second half -- which is when i spent the most time with him -- i was so fucked up that i barely processed what was going on? i was listening to what he was telling me, he just rambled about stuff, and it's interesting and i could recite all of it if asked and the expression he made at each part, but there was absolutely nothing in my head. and he never asked if i was okay which i think he would have if he thought something was wrong, because he's done that before. and we were alone so he could have and there would have been zero consequences. but he didn't ask me what was wrong, so it's hard to assume that the hug was for emotional consolation reasons. he wouldn't have noticed me on the brink of tears, either, he's not that observant. i would have known if he had. and i didn't do anything truly kind to him today, i listened to him talk about his interests and we hung out for a while, but that's what we do all the time. nothing happened. there was the chair thing but i thought i played that off well, i tried to have a coherent narrative about it an hour later too so he would guess what i had hoped, and i think i was successful. he wasn't distressed, i would have known. and he was tired but he's been tired a lot before and he's never acted like this. so he had zero reason to hug me unless he maybe sensed that this entire time i just really fucking wanted him to hug me, but he wouldn't have, and i would never have voiced that, because i don't want him to see me at that level. but i needed that hug badly. and i don't understand why i received it.
#nightmare.personal#neg#he's the easiest person to be around i think. because there are a lot of conversation topics to have#and i understand the way his mind ticks pretty well at this point#that's going to change in spring semester. maybe. which is going to really suck. but it'll be okay.#nothing i offered him would differ from what anyone could give him is the issue#i'm really good at that. you don't really need to have a ton of anything to listen to people#it's just listening. and yeah i guess people are bad at that? but like.#i don't know. he could talk to literally anyone else. all of them could talk to literally anyone else and they actively do#part of my brain is trying to rationalize myself into calming down but the other half is the one i want to indulge because#fuck. fuck. i can't do this forever.#like someday i have to snap right. i can't keep doing this. it's like a time loop.#this always happens and i only vaguely remember tomorrow but it'll happen two days after and it'll be bad#and i will always want to crack under pressure but never do#and if nothing's wrong with me why the hell am i like this?#i wish he didn't hug me. i should have got my book and fucking left.#i only waited because i was getting the book back from his roommate who was off calling his girlfriend#but honestly. that guy even though he's my friend. if he saw me crying he'd do nothing#because i don't think he would care even slightly. we're good friends now i'd say. he would not care.#at least this happened in a pretty way. that's something huh.
2 notes · View notes
astrxealis · 7 months
Text
I ADORE GEN INFORMATION AND HISTORY STUFF SOOO MUCH ... and etc etc etc and and and :(( <3 god i love the plethora of information ik and. etc.
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#hey guys wna know some random facts about the chinese dynasties and types of sharks and stoat fun facts#and the roman empire and everything about greek and roman and egyptian and norse mythology#even a bit of scandinavian mythology and hawaiian myths and philosophers like aristotle and his nicomachean ethics#and edgar allan poe's works as well as lois lowry and neil gaiman and shakespeare oh god shakespeare and the bible and christianity and#world history filipino history american and french and british revolutions and wars and history and the founding of the united states and#IDK OKAY i just reaaally love random information and HISTORY so goddamn much. i am such a nerd. i love being this geek that i am.#mythology in general is probably one of my biggest special interests though. oh my god.#RIGHT WAIT I REALLY LOVE ROCKS AS WELL AND i adore all subjects in school actually and and and. i love knowledge so much.#ASTRONOMYYYYYJRBWJGWSUGDJSBFKSBFK wait okay i'll be normal (lie) for a second again#mythology. it's insane i learned about hawaiian mythology in this minecraft server uhhh for this. yeah.#i miss that tbh! no longer into the fandom/book series for probably aha obvious reasons but it's nostalgic to me still#ANYWAY RIGHT BACK ON TRACK okay egyptian mythology and norse i rmbr i memorized some hieroglyphics and uhh runes? before#god bless rick riordan's books for starting my obsession with different kinds of mythologies tbh#yk one reason why my eyesight probably started sucking more was bcs i read so much of the mythology book by edith hamilton on a road trip#upwards to a norther part of the philippines and good gods it was a bumpy ride! i still remember that moment vividly though#and. i'm tired of typing now. goodbye.
5 notes · View notes
spiritofjustice · 1 year
Text
i know it probably ain’t impressive but it feels GOOD to start reading regularly again. i only read 4 books last year and i am still proud of myself for that, but i’m reading regularly now. i am up to 6 books this year, counting the one i am on now. it rules
3 notes · View notes
noxtivagus · 2 years
Text
i love talking w others ( apollo especially tonight ) but oh man i shld really sleep it is 3 am
#laughing together n messing around while listening to music#while also having deep talks on life !#i love love listening to others n sharing in dialogue our individuality. n connecting together as well#i find analyzing life n society n ourselves to really be interesting#i really am someone that thinks n feels a lot n deeply n i genuinely really love that for myself#help we talked about sm as usual. but yk i really love thoughtful people like us#goddamn i really love individuality. we're all so unique n we're all human#i love analyzing both the good n bad n trying to read others n also yk with what i know and with what i can infer in a way#i want to read actual books made my professionals to learn abt it all properly tho#to see if i really am correct about all this. i have a feeling i am. my intuition is usually uncannily spot on#i love talking w apollo but i really wonder n hope that someday i can connect w others this way as well#in different ways as well. maybe with a childhood friend now very different from me#or a lover. oh man one day i'd really really love to experience that#n with my parents. i want to understand them better as their own people#but. yk there are boundaries in life n i can't learn everything#i find it all really interesting though. i want to learn n understand so much#hmm one thing in particular rn that im thinking of is the dimensions of love. n how memory works#memory n identity. n how we grow as people.#and love as. its different forms. the way we express it. the different ways we love different things n how we differ in that way#and. help idk if i'm even using the right terms bcs my vocab is wide but sometimes i dont match definitions accurately#i understand familial love as a daughter. platonic as a friend. n self love n love for the world#but romantic love. i write about it but goddamn it intrigues me so much i really want to experience it for myself#there's no end to the things i want to learn. romance is no exception. i wonder#i find perceptions so interesting n the way our worlds n the way we all live could connect with similarities n differences#the way life works as a human person in it and. stuff like physics n biology n science#wah i'm so curious abt so many things. i want to understand the universe. n the ppl in it#i really crave that realness n authenticity. if i wasnt so shy i wld just randomly ask my friends questions from time to time#i could randomly ask a creative question n analyze both your answer n the way you expressed and shared it#i really want to share the more intricate aspects of life n our humanity as well. i want to be mutually in love with another.#n to have deep friendships where we mutually understand each other too. n family. n. everything oh god there's sn to think n feel n write
2 notes · View notes
Text
.
#i am between books right now#dont have one currently on the go because I finished MB and then read Rabbits on vacation#and even though I'm slow as balls when it comes to reading i feel lost lol#I'm packing my lunch kit and realized. i dont have any current books on the kindle i have rn#and no physical book in my bag#i guess I need to go look at my book shelf but i dont know what to grab next#i guess i have book one of the dreamer trilogy that i haven't touched her yet#kee speaks#I'm kinda struggling this morning fam#i lost a friend recently (not lost as in died but lost as in there was a falling out and i kinda had to chose sides)#and before the falling out they had been so excited for me to watch str/ang/er thi/ngs 4 since i watched it late#and they absolutely loved Eddie#which at the time the pics they were showing me of him were absolutely terrible and I got creeper vibes off of him so i was like okaay dude#but now after watching the entire season i do love him but don't feel like i can talk to that friend anymore and it sucks#it's been a long time since ive lost a friend#most of the time for me it's just that we stopped talking as often and it just peters out#but this was a lot more sudden. tbf they haven't explicitly cut me off yet but after how they treated a mutual friend#and some other knit picks that I've discovered other friends have had with him i just dont really want to chat with him anymore#he's the one that rewrote one of my cathartic character death fics and then posted it without my permission#and apparently he's done pretty much the same thing for everyone else who walked away after this fall out#he told two others that he'd adopt their characters and 'treat them right' since we all wrote somewhat dark stuff#so he kinda killed all three of our desires to write or share our writing with him#plus there was a lot of religious guilt tripping he did a couple years ago that triggered the hell out of me#idk. it sucks cause i had a really long haul of chatting about media with him and we'd throw fic ideas back and forth and write AU's togeth#but there were also shitty things he did that i can't get over#knowing he likes Eddie so much and me getting into the vibe and liking Eddie too amidst all this just amplifies the emotions i guess#idk. whatever. I guess if anyone wants to ramble about Eddie with me my DM's or ask box are open 😂
2 notes · View notes
andrasta14 · 2 years
Text
Confession: I just did a rough count of my unread books a few days ago and...guys I have 800 unread books!!!!! *sinks to the floor in shame* 
I should probably ban myself from all social media for the next decade now. 😔
4 notes · View notes