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#i prob wouldnt think about this if it like wasnt for how like
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i am probably the one guy in this but like it gets me so !!!???!?????? when i see someone who’s like me with the same husbands i have like i think doubles are epic swag but i get 🧍‍♂️ when i see someone using the same names i use for myself for my hubs and then im even more 🧍‍♂️‼️‼️ when they look like me with short and fluffy brown hair and have glasses
like i say im goode w doubles but for some reason it makes me go full 😰😰😰 when i see like idk how to word this correctly and i feel like this a rlly rude way to put it, but basically like my doppelganger
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todayisafridaynight · 1 month
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What do you think Mine’s reaction to Masato / Aoki be like?
tbh they'd probably be. amicable. at the very least.
#snap chats#like they have similar values its just that mine's more openly depressed about his belief system and doesn't take pride in it like aoki#i talked about this before omg thats so funny... but yeah no aoki's more proud of 'how the world is'. prob cause he's 'on top' of it#mine begrudges the fact he needs material goods to be useful to people#meanwhile aoki's happy to exploit others if it means he advances. for the most part anyway#he only really starts to show some regret when confronted by ichi. and get the shit kicked out of him for twenty minutes#wait i was rewatching the cutscene and started to throw up cause i got reminded of me in high school again aoki you're 42 stop this#Back On Track Though. mine and aoki had similar pursuits: attain power to be loved thats the core of it in simple terms#they went about it differently ofc: for mine money was power and for aoki popularity was power. Both Very True TBH but anyway#mine realized that even with money his person wasnt valued#and aoki realized that even with recognition people didn't value his character. sins the arakawas. fcukin dummy#i mean aokis a jackass so no wonder but thats not the point of this. fuckfest of tags#they wouldnt be friends. aoki's incapable of friendship and mine would probably quickly recognize aoki as being power hungry#i think mine's been in enough business meetings And Knows Enough About Politics to recognize Professional Fakerism when he sees it#actually do you think mine'd be swindled by any 'kindness' aoki expressed like when kanda left him and he thought he just went to get help.#that shit was wack LMAO BUT REGARDLESS idk i have to go to class soon so im not gonna spend too much time thinking of this#if they needed to they'd just use each other for whatever purpose they needed the other for. idk why mine would need aoki tho#TLDR mine probably wouldnt think too differently of aoki compared to any other power-hungry freak#we can revisit this topic when. im not learning about JP history vjERJALKJ
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You know what, I don't even care that he's left me on read for the moment, the fact is he's seen it whether he likes it or not, and how he reacts is his problem. And that's actually a relief!
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flamagenitus · 1 year
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You guys are so lucky I don't post personal things on here very often. I used to use Vent
#personal#my twitter is full of so much random crap#this post is inspired by how i was going to tall abt my bf and me being on the rocks and me listening to the chain by fleetwood mac#and how that is kind of on the nose#except that ppl w a lot of vested interest in my relationship follow my twitter. so i cannot :/#anyway. do u guys want an anecdote#when i was 15 my ex took like 5 days over christmas to break up with me. we're fine now but i was so dramatic abt it at the time#and the way i coped with the situation was by laying on my grandma's floor listening to the sound of silence and i am a rock#by simon and garfunkel on vinyl on repeat. lying on the floor in the dark. getting up every 8 minutes to put the needle back#it sucked but isnt that the funniest way i could have dealt with that situation?#i totally wrote about it on my alt Vent account that i made so my ex wouldnt see my ultra-secret posts#if ur a teenager reading this i am not making fun of you! i was so angry abt ppl not taking me seriously when i was younger#my mum used to tell me that 20 years down the line i would laugh at my teenage self and that always used to piss me off#and i still think that's p uncharitable. my teenage self had a lot of shit going on that i would be unable to handle even now#and she was so young and ppl asked so much of her! and she had so little experience.#of course it sucked that hard! she had literally never experienced anything that painful before! she'd only been alive like 14 years#my brain STILL isn't fully cooked but i sure am an adult. but 14 year old kid me? 15 or 16 y/o me? she had every right to feel so strongly#genuinely i do not consider my teenage self to have been a hormonal mess. not bc i wasnt but bc so much other shit supplanted the hormones#and it always has and probs always will piss me off when ppl dont consider minors as actual people with thoughts and feelings and abilities#...so me laughing at my teenage self isnt derogatory! it is a compassionate teasing of the person i used to be#what a dumbass (affectionate)
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Namari is the first of laios old party that gets reintroduced into the story before dungeon meshi really shows it's hand about the bigger themes it wants to tackle. Theres a lot of sneaky setup during her two chapters. Lets talk about her!
Dungeon meshi starts out as kind of a straight forward fun dungeon adventure amoungst adventurers and friends. Namari notably, throws a wrench in this perception while maintaining that lighthearted tone--notably, through introducing the fact Laios is a weak leader. Namari was in the party since the start. She was clearly in a bad situation at the time where adventuring was her only option bc she didnt have enough money to even get off the island. Despite that, she stayed in the party despite the fact she needs money bc she liked the comraderie. Sad that she felt like she had to choose between getting out of debt or having ppl she could be honest to.
All three party members who left did not have their needs properly met. Falin let her life be dictated by laios and marcille and was too passive to try to make choices for herself. She ends up getting eaten trying to save them + then puppetted around by thistle as a result of marcilles attempt (sucess) at reviving her (+ ends up starving the whole time) . I think shuro got kidnapped into laios party and then steamrolled over bc hes just so bad at saying no + also seemed to have never chosen anything for himself in his lyfe.
Theres a clear parallel between laios lack of attention towards these threes needs and his lack of attention that he was hungry at the fight.
Laios treated his like a group of friends going out adventuring without any regard to the needs of the group. Yeah, you could say they couldve told him, but as a leader its kinda ur job to actively keep tabs on this. And Namari really exemplifies this bc she really is in dire straits, her joining the party was out of desparation, and her need for money was getting ignored for years. That she even brought this up to the siblings and they still went on a dangerous expedition and didn't take missions aimed at making money is kinda like.. wow......
It takes a near death experience for her to realize she has really got to go actually achieve her goals —but crucially I feel if laios took more jobs to make money, she wouldnt have left at that crucial moment. I think theres an argument to be made that shuro probs wouldnt have left if namari didnt bc hes a passivity king and may have been more willing to get his retainers to work w laios party if they didnt both mutually agree laios wasnt cut out to lead the party to try to rescue falin. Which I dont think is an unfair assessment of his skills at the time.
Like he is well intentioned and doesnt mean anything bad by it but theres a limit to the amount of carelessness you can have as a leader. Later on, shuros going to have similar complaints and hes going to be much less nice abt it.
Anyways, i think its interesting the party namari aligns herself w afterwards is the right hand man of the lord of the island, awfully close to the occupation her father held before he disapeared after getting caught for money laundering. In her intro, she keeps her guard up from mr tansu and the party bc shes jaded about either having to accept a job for money or to be friends w her new party. I think this may be partially bc she let herself get dragged around for too long in laios party bc she had a soft spot for em. But after sharing a meal , having laios affirm his trust in her, and actively communicating w mr tansu shes able to get both the money she needs to climb outta debt and a good working relationship w the tansus and the twins by clarifying specifically how she feels. I think tansus a bit suspicious bc he thinks shes just in for the money and disregards her feelings as a result. I think theres a bit of an undertone that the way he treats her like a human shield reminds her of how she was cleaning up her fathers messes all the time as a kid.
Crucially, I think this is the turning point for how she acts bc she has so much love to give to the world! She needed to have this basic need taken care of before she oculd help other people. She goes down to the morgue to check for falin. She agrees to help kabru after hearing his motives w utaya even tho theres nothing in it for her. Shes the one who reaches her hand up to support him when he almost gets trampled by the adventurers in the dungeon.
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I think seeing ppl help him without asking anything in return helped kabru be more open towards other, which leads to him throwing his lot w laios despite all his doubts.
Doesnt rat out laios party under the threat of interregation tho also it seemed shuro was just 🤐 abt it. She tells tansu shes headed down w shuros retainers to rescue him when he gets kicked like a football into the dungeon - also a nice bit of character development that she clearly wants to help laios w the water spirit and only goes w tansus permission, but here she takes the initiative and tells him she'll report if she sees anything funny. Crucially she throws her lot against the elves, who are the closest to power at great risk to herself. (tho lowkey she may lose her livelihood if the elves take over so there may be a bit of self interest there + her patron is in charge of some of it).
constantly asking shuro for his input bc she knows hes shy
able to support marcille when shes in tears after losing her dream falin and laios despite feeling awkward towards her (kinda interesting parallel w how shuro feels hes bad w laios
For the two of em, think laios failed them as their leader, so they leave. And afterwards, their relationship improves bc they can truely dedicate themselves to what they want from him as their friends--running a legendary sabatoge against the elf cops so he doesnt go to jail!!!
I think theres something to the fact shes the one shown being eaten by the lion when time stops. Then also the one in the mana realm happy that she’d never have to struggle or hunger again. Her whole life seemed to be cleaning up her fathers messes, getting cast out for her fathers messes, just a constant struggle w the dwarves not seeing her as someone worth being in their community and drifting around without a place to belong. Even tho she found ppl now it doesnt change what happened w her. It's sad. But she also accepts she has to go back and face the future.
her love for music and dance is interesting- how like something communal that draws others in spontaneously is something she feels close to
also interesting is her interactions w other races--seems like she primarily interacted w dwarves for the first few years of her life, w just tenous connections to people of other races and it was getting so suddenly ejected that got her there. No coincidence that shes the one who goes in between the orcs and elves towards the finale to go hey we are on the same side. Also not a coincidence she gets along so well w the twins who were abandoned by their families and taken in by gnomes but also always feeling a little out of place in that community.
Tansu clearly stand in for her dad : ( her mom walked out when she was young : ( honestly im really happy she gets a family of a sort w them.
Im also glad she still has her own interest in weaponry and design even tho its tainted w her fathers actions
Her friendship w shuro is so fun. You wouldn't expect them to get along so well bc they seem so different on the surface and namaris blunt in a way that ud think be offputting to shuro and he kinda indirect in a way that would piss her off but theyre very often on the same wavelength.
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da warriors bond...no words are needed i think they might be using telepathy. once u get below the surface they have a lot in common.
family issues so severe it managed to creep onto a thrid person thats not their parent
pretty pragmatic ppl at their core (eg. shuros less mad about ancient magic being wrong and more that theyre gonna go to jail for 10000 years before chimera falin apears, his gripe about eating monsters seems more being about youll get food poisening that way etc. namari placing herself close to power in her new party, her insistance on getting paid, checkin the morgue for falin,when things get too complicated she focuses on what she can do now).
seemed to have suffered pretty badly under laios leadership
both seem to be treated as outcasts on the island, namari despite growing up there , shuro for being a forienger even tho 4/6 ppl on his party are foreign
theres interesting contrasts w her replacement senshi, in the way theyre both outcasts in the dwarven community and the way their family/partys legacies weigh heavily for them. but i ran out of steam
shes good at keeping ppl grounded and has a good inventory of ppls strengths. of the three ppl who left the party, i think she has the best potential to be a good leader at the start.
shes pretty linked to the community of adventurers as a whole but (u guessed it) i ran out of steam
I think a lot of her role in the story parallels w the theme that u need careful boundaries and consideration of other ppls needs to be an effective leader, something chilchuck hits upon a lot. but also you need to take care of your own needs first (senshis running theme) and be able to take good inventory of your desires to face the future (izutsumis running theme)
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s0lar-ch3ri · 15 days
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OAUGUOAGHUAHGJK2WEFJNRGJTW?f??????????????????? HELLO??????????????????? DUE YOU CANT DO THIS TO ME IM THE DAKOTA KINNIE EVER.
"THEY WERE ALL ALONE" DIES AM ILLION BILLION DEATHS.
OKAY IM GONNA FUCKING RAMBLE THEN
SPOILERS FOR THE GREYSCALE ARC, WHICH IS LIKE. EP 34-36 S2 I THINK AND ALSO ALL EPS BEFORE IT ARE FREE GAME FOR ME
vyn - being alone must be new for a guy who got used to having people in his head. he was always around a friend or something. yet, even in that elevator, with tide (i think tides unconscious body was in there) physically there and origami in his head, he still talks about himself solely. huh, funny. sol-ely. vyncent sol, yet its never really been sol-ely him. hes not somebody who can be alone physically, yet hed know the feeling of being alone so well. an alien to this planet, unable to tell someone whod understand how he feels. he isnt able to listen to his friends, however, because they dont talk. and sure, he does that, but i dont think they realise it. hes alone because hes the only one here whos put more then random thought into his choices. hes alone because hes stepping down from a choice he regrets.
will - being alone is not something new to will. hes been used to being a loner since the start of his unlife. hes a man who couldnt seem to commit well enough to his plans. he ran from being a hero, hes ran from his powers, yet for once hes made a choice. a choice hes not running from. so why is he standing alone. why is everyone looking at him like hes made the worst decision of his life. maybe because he has, but it hurts the most that even his best friend wouldnt stand by him for this. he couldnt blame him, thats for sure, but that didnt make it hurt less. this time, will doesnt want to be alone. not when hes done this. hes alone standing by the wrong choice he made hoping to turn it right.
dakota - hey i actually touched on how dakota probs felt in my lil cover of vyncent in a vador i did ("kota in the bago", never put it on tumblr but if requested, ill see what i can do)! maybe dakota has learned by now that he can ask his friends for help, but does he *know* he can? hes failing all the checks to look for lightspeed. this is his first time where hes been seperated from his team since they came back together, and hes doing horridly. he would never want to rely on his friends, thats not something someone as great as the dc would need to do. hes really just alone, left out of the other adventure as he does his own job to help. then he finds the chaos that happened when he wasnt there. maybe it warmed his heart the smallest amount to hear they missed him, that in a way he kept them in line, in a way he was needed. it felt horrid, but he couldnt help it. cantrip became another person he failed to save, because he couldnt have possibly been there to help her. so maybe it wasnt just that dakota was alone that hurts him. he left his boys alone when they needed him most. he left them alone.
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sunwavesss · 6 months
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unpopular opinion tbh but i wanted to share:
i honestly dont rlly like royjamie fics that take place before like. s3 episode 10. maybe im wrong about this but that would not fucking happen sorry. jamie is too immature s1 up to about midway through s2 when we really see how going to therapy caused him to really mature, and then roy i feel is too oblivious of his feelings in terms the root of his hatred/obsession with jamie. like he has been fixated on jamie for years and "everytime i think of her i just think of jamie fucking tartt" but i feel would never really realize the depth of his obsession until they became best friends (and once he became therapized). also jamie truly loved keeley (not really imo but i think he truly THINKS its true love) but then he doesnt realize that what he felt wasnt true deep love until him and roy are like practically living on top of each other post s3 and jamie inevitably falls in love with roy?? (i mean cmon theres no way jamie wouldnt fall in love w him if he's bi). also like i feel weird when ppl try and downplay what he felt towards keeley because i think she was a big part of his development and her encouragement to be better really helped him bc she was the only one who believed he could be better and saw the good in him.
sorry this is prob total bs but this has been kicking around in my mind lately and i needed to share
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mattsobvimyfav · 2 months
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For sport (Matthew Sturniolo & Chris Sturniolo)
Pt 4
A.n - hey yall so this is gonna be a very very very slow burn I already have some chapters written so I will probs rapid fire. But everything is based off very real things just swapped for Matthew. It will be toxic, there will be angst , smut , everything you can possibly think of. It happens.
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Y/N’s POV
I finished putting on the dress deciding it was perfect, simple yet pretty. I pick up my phone Facetiming Chris, I had his number from when we had to do our end of year project together last year. He picked up after a few rings while I set the phone up in the dressing room.
“Whats up Pickle!” He yelled, he was sitting in his kitchen.
“Hey Chris I just picked out my dress and wanted to show you” I smiled turning in a circle from him to see.”Damn Ma, you should just come over” I rolled my eyes giggling at Chris before the third brother Nick popped his head in frame. “Oh My God Y/N you look amazing” Nick yelled into the phone “Thank you Nick, you just confirmed me getting this dress!” I picked my phone up smiling “I literally just told you to come over here because you looked so good but Nick whos GAY, was your decding factor?!” I nodded “Yes because he isnt just looking at my body, hes telling the truth” Chris scoffed shrugging his shoulders knowing Im right. We bid our goodbyes telling Chris I would text him later as I changed back into my clothes.
Chris has always been a flirt so Ive never taken it serious its just how he was with alot of girls. I grabbed my dress walking out of the fitting room as Haylee met me at the cash register to check out. I grabbed a pair of black heels to go along with my dress.
Me and Haylee decided to stop at one more store before leaving because I needed more leggings even tho I owned a hundred pairs. You can never have too many. I asked Haylee to drop me home seeing as I did infact have homework and I knew I couldnt complete it with her there needed total concentration.
I got out of her car hugging her goodbye as I walk into my dads house who was still at work, I ran up to my room, pulling out my phone, and getting my music started so I could focus on my homework. I quickly took off my clothes changing into a sports bra and sweatpants. I sit down at my desk grabbing my books from my bag and snapchatting Matt.
Y/N-
Hey what part do you want to do?
I placed my phone down starting on my math work knowing it wouldnt take my long while I listened to my playlist. After about thirty minutes I pick up my phone to see a text from Matt.
Matt Sturniolo-
Ill do the second half if you do the first
Y/N-
Fine but Im checking your work to make sure its right.
Matt Sturniolo-
Fine, Chris wants to know if youll go to the football game with us friday
Y/N-
What about your girlfriend. She’ll kill me.
Matt Sturniolo-
We broke up this summer. Stop worrying about her.
I read the message maybe a hundred times. They broke up, now maybe Matt wouldnt be a miserable asshole because let me tell you when that girl was around it was like a dark storm cloud followed.
Y/N-
Yeah sure, just get the work done please.
He sent me back a thumbs up and i decided to leave him on read getting started on the rest of the work. After about two hours it was now six at night and I was getting a call from Chris.
“Hello Christopher.” I set my phone infront of my as I packed up my bag “Whats up good lookin” I went to speak again before I heard Matthew yell “I NEED SOME FUCKING FOOD” I started giggling at the boys and Chris looked at me “Wanna go get food we are starving.” I looked down at myself deciding I was just as hungry because my father still wasnt home. “Yeah do you guys wanna meet somewhere or do you want me to come there?” I asked as I stood up going to my closet “Well come and get you as long as I get to spend the night” Chris said, I shrugged my shoulders not really caring knowing it was all just flirting and nothing ever serious. “Yeah you can if you want and ill drive you to school” I grabbed a sweatshirt out of my closet throwing it on over my head “YES!” Chris yelled running from the other boys to his room “Ill pack a bag well be there in thirty” I didnt even have time to respond before he was hanging up.
I sent my dad a quick text letting him know my friend Chris would be staying the night. After quickly picking up my room and throwing one of my dads body washes and shampoos in my shower I heard a horn outside. I grabbed some money out of my dads stack of cash he has hidden for me when hes not home and ran down stairs out the door locking it before hoping in the back with Nick.
“Hellooooo, where are we going to eat?” I asked buckling before Matt started driving.
“We want Ihop, if your down for breakfast” Nick asked looking up from his phone I nodded in response before I felt my phone buzzing in my pocket. Haylee was calling me.
“Where are you going?” She asked before I could even say anything “Im going to get food witht the triplets jesus” I get a little annoyed considering she does this quiet a bit when it comes to me having other friends “Why are you going with them?” It was like venom. She hated me making new friends and dont get me wrong I love her more than anything but sometimes she could be a little much. “Chris asked me too, whats wrong” I asked trying to see the real issue “Whatever, can i come over after?” I bit my bottom lip before answering knowing she would get mad at the answer “Chris is gonna sleepover ton-” before i could even finish my sentence the phone was disconnected. I rolled my eyes.
“Who was that a secret boyfriend?” Chris says turning in his seat raising his eyebrows I looked up at him seeing Matt studying me in the rearview “It was Haylee..” I trailed off “Jesus christ she was acting like she owns you” I nodded not wanting to talk about it anymore “What football game is this we are going to friday?” I asked changing the subject “Its that kennedy school, its about a hour drive” Matt finally spoke “Okay, can we take my car and you drive?” I ask Matt leaning forward “Yes, but why dont you want to take our car?” I looked around at the smelly boys gear from football rolling my eyes “Your stuff smells and I get aux instead of chris” Chris whips his head back at me “Woah that was not apart of the deal” I looked up at him through my eyelashes “Please” He turned forward in his seat “Dont start something you cant finish pickle” Matt almost immediately hit him in the chest and Nick started laughing as I did too.
We finished eating after talking for a while and got back into the car, Nick sitting in the front so Chris could just hop out with me. We finally got back to my house as we said our goodbyes. We walked in and my dad was on the couch on his computer. “Hey baked, How was the today?” I ran in giving him a hug “It was good, Dad this is Chris hes gonna spend the night” My dad stood up towaring over me as he shook chris’ hand “Jimmy’s boy right?” Chris nodded taking in my dads appearance “Tell him I said hello and to call me to go golfing soon” I smiled at my dad being nice to Chris, I could see his face calm down “I will its nice to meet you sir” Chris said as my dad told us to not be up to late.
“Woah nice room” Chris said setting his bag down looking around. I took pride in my room really taking that ‘clean girl’ aesthetic to a whole new level. “Thanks, if you wanna shower or anything the bathrooms right there, I put in some products for you” I smiled at him as I looked through my drawers for a comfy outfit. I grabbed out a pair of shorts and a crop top. “Im going to shower” I said to chris he looked up from his phone to give me a nod before I walked into my bathroom.
I quickly took a shower washing my hair and body, no need for an everything shower seeing as I did one yesterday I put on my pajamas and my hair in the towel before walking out seeing chris changed into a pair of blue plaid pajama pants and a wife beater. I sat down at my vanity and started brushing my hair “Wanna make tiktoks?” Chris asked and I nodded “Wait what is your tiktok” I said opening tiktok on my phone. I type in his user “Chris what the fuck” I say looking up at him “WHAT?” He half yells “Why do you have 60k on tiktok?” He laughs “Me, Matt and Nick blew up like last year” he followed me back before deciding which tiktok we were gonna make a minute long music video switching back and forth filming. He made me put on a sweatshirt because I guess his “fans” were wicked rude when he had alanah in a video and said theyd hate on me for not being ‘covered’ around him. “That has to be the DUMBEST shit ive ever heard” he agreed but ultimatly decided it was for the better. We decided on the song paper soldier by Brent Faiyaz, me videoing Chris singing ‘im trying to threeway with her roomie’ I than handed the phone to him and said ‘hey roomie’ and we decided we would just dance the last part of the song out.
After twenty minutes of the tiktok being posted, my following was going up and I got a text from Haylee.
Haylee-
Nice tiktok.
I sighed reading her message as Chris read it over my shoulder “Yo, shes kinda crazy…” I shrugged knowing he wasnt wrong “Chris tell me the tea of what happened with Matt and Psycho!” He giggled at me calling her that “He finally broke up with her at the beginning of summer, and thank god he did we were all sick of her” I laughed at him hating her so much. “We should hang out more” Chris said and I agreed I had alot of fun with him. I looked down at the time and it was almost one in the morning “Oh my god Chris we need to go to bed” I quickly got up turning off the lights sliding under the covers with chris “You need to wake me up, I have to shower in the morning” I nodded at chris as I rolled on my side with my back to chris as he laid on his stomach and we both drifted off to sleep.
I woke up the next morning rocking Chris to get up and shower, he had wrapped his legs in mine and he was like a weight. “CHRIS GET UP” I finally yelled as he got up quickly rubbing his eyes without a word he walked into my bathroom closing the door. I giggled at him before getting up and changing, I put on grey flare legging with a white cropped tank top and cropped light pink zip up a little unzipped. “CHRIS LET ME IN I NEED TO BRUSH MY TEETH” I said clipping my necklace into place. He opened the door with just a towel hangning loosely around his waist and I couldnt help but look down. He grabbed my chin pulling my face back up “Eyes up here sweetheart” I rolled my eyes pushing past him closing the door so he had privacy to change. I threw my hair into a messy bun before knocking to make sure Chirs was dressed. “Ready?” I asked opening the door. “Yeah im leaving this here” He said pointing to the duffle bag while he grabbed his regular school bag. We headed out to my car and I allowed Chris to have aux this one time.
Instead of parking next to Haylee this morning I decided to park next to the two remaining triplets knowing chris would want to see his brothers. “Good morningggg” Chris yelled getting into their car as Matt waved for me to get in with him. “How was your night with him?” Matt asked laughing “We had fun all three of you should stay next time” Nick quickly agreed while Matt just nodded. Matt turned the car off “Come on Y/N I’ll walk you to your first class” Matt said walking next to me. I smiled up at him as he opened the door for me, But every good thing must come to an end because the first thing we see as we walk into the school, staring us down in the middle of the hall, is Lindsey.
Tag -
@worldlxvlys
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noellefan101 · 1 month
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Heyaaaa, I saw a yandere Genshin blog that writes for ladies and I know what I must do!
Could I see what Yandere Yoimiya's like? Perhaps general headcanons as to how she acts once she's in a relationship with her beloved?? TYSM, I'd love to see what you make of this!!
:3 no real intro cuz im really tired, sry
prob ooc yoimiya, but like extra ooc cuz im too tired to think straight
i wrote most of this at 1 am and the rest in math class
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i feel like she would be a very soft yandere, yk not hurting her darling or not even wanting to kidnap (but she would if she thought that you would be more safe like that, will hate so much herself if she ever hurt you)
ofc like any other yandere she would kill for you, but it wont be for dumb reasons like some dude looked at you for 0.1 second, no,
but it'll be more if you really hated your boss or someone dared actually hurt you or say something that really broke you
she is really gentle and sweet, plus she loves to make you new fireworks and just gifts you a lot of things in general, even if you're "just friends"
"[y/n]! there you are, i brought you some of my new fireworks!" she yelled as she ran up to you, her eyes glued to your figure ignoring anything else around her in the process.
"look, arent they going to be pretty!" she said as she showed you her concept drawing for the fireworks, and ided they were pretty, and going to be even prettier when in lit up in the sky
"im sure they are, yoimiya" your smile was so sweet and looked so lovely on you, you were the only thing going trough her mind as she got lost in your eyes.. "uhm yoimiya, you ok?
"h-huh?! o-oh yeah love, uh i mean [y-y/n] i-im fine, uhm, would you uuhh like to see the f-fireworks in action?" her face was so warm it felt like she was burning more then that guy would be right now, what stupid idea he had, he should've never even thought about touching you then she wouldnt be so late to seeing you today and- "yeah of course i want to see the fireworks you made!"her thoguh got cut off with your voice, that beautiful voice...
and also acts like you're the litteral reason she is alive (you are), so if she ever hurt you if even by a tiny scratch she would actually just die inside, and look like she died on the outside
yoimiya
she is really supportive of whatever you do, and if you have like a fashion brand or something it would be the only thing she is willing to wear, or if you work at restaurant she would eat there everytime you have a shift
she would definitely bring you flowers on random occasions and just say it wasnt because of anything special or anything, but it was just because she missed you and really needed to see you or she would've mentally destroyed herself not knowing if you were ok or not
"h-hi, i uhm brought you flowers! y-yeah, flowers i hope you like them i picked them myself" she said giving you a beautiful and big bouquet of your favorite flower, wait did you ever tell her what your favorite flower is?? you dont think so, but you guess it doesnt matter right now, maybe you just forgot you told her (you never told her your favorite flower, yet she knows the exact shade of that flower you like the most).
"awww thank you, yoimiya! i love them!!" you said as you held them close to youer chest, she really wishes she were those flowers right now, all close you. she looked up at your lips, getting cought in the thought of how soft they look and how she so wanted to kiss y-
"y-your w-welcome, i-i just thought t-that you were so pretty that you c-could use some flowers- what! n-no no i-i mean you i uhhh i-i have to go n-now yeah, i-i'll see you l-later" she panicked, what was she saying and in front of you too no no no, what if you thought she was weird now, or what if she went too fast and too far...
"o-oh ok, have a nice day yoimiya! thank you again for the flowers" you waved goodbye with one hand and had the flowers in the other, wondering why she seemed to be running out to the middle of nowhere. she talked so fast you didnt even hear what she said other than a few words which were "you were so pretty", and they left a blush behind that certainly would go away for a few hours or so.
if you lived far away, like not even in inazuma, she would send so many letters to you, even if you didnt know who she was as she just saw you while on the road once and fell so badly in love, its fine you're going to fall for her sooner or later
she would also visit you again and again but that costs a lot of money so she tries to convince you to move in with her, but if thta doesnt work she might actually get frustrated and just drug you and then take you home herself
with that idea still in mind, if she met you while in sumeru and you were a student she still doesnt want to interfere with the things you love (though save some of that love for her pls) so she wouldnt kidnap you but would wait patiently for as long as you need, or promise to take you out to study the things in inazuma instead (she would murder your professer if they said no and that you should stay in the akademiya, abselutely)
"how are you doing this week? i know i send you a lot of letters but i just had to when i found out where you lived so i didnt have to travel so much as it costs quite a bit. but its worth it if it means i can see you every so often, as you are slowly becoming the reason i exist, i would love to hear about everything you have done in your life, big or small. please think about visiting inazuma soon, i would love to show you around all the different regions, shops and more. i also learned what proper love is now because of you, and i think it indeed is you, as i cant find anything that i love and adore more than you.
i also picked some fireworks out for you, they are from my personal collection and are very pretty, just like you, i would love to get your feedback on them and would happily make you a thousand more if you want me to. i will also make different ones if you get bored of the ones youcurrently have
please keep yourself safe
Your Love-Yoimiya"
attached to the letter is a few too many fireworks, and some inazuman snacks and accessories too, she doesnt seem to be very wealthy yet has bought you what looks like a diamond necklace and a very pretty ring.
would absolutely cook you meals throughout the day, she'll cook you anything you want for breakfast, lunch, and dinner but she also makes sure you're healthy and checks in on you every few hours to make sure you drink enough too
if you're really depressed, she would make sure you had your meds for it and stuff, would also hand feed you everything. she calls it that because she hates using the word force but yes, she forces you to eat and will not take no for an answer
almost killed your doctor when the meds stop working, but then found out later that its completly normal and its not the doctor trying to kill you (you saved a life that day, multible even)
*knock knock* "oh, my love, i found you! here's your lunch for the day, i used some of the leftovers from yesterday, i really hope you like. oh i also got you your favorite snack right here, and then remember to drink your water too." she left with a kiss to your cheek and blew you an extra kiss before closing the door to your room again.
she wasnt lying when she said you would fall inlove with her at soem point, as you were certainly beginning to fall down deep in the hole that is Yoimiya.
she loves to hug you when around you in general, but loves to kiss you cheek when she feels like you've been away from her for too long. would never actually kiss your lips, altough she wants to, you have to give her permission first and then she might if she still has the confidence
she becomes a literal puddle when you just as much as touch her cheek, yes she has to touch you every second you are near her, but its different when its you doing anything!!!
she thinks you're a god, and in her eyes you are, doesnt matter how ugly you think you are or how weak you actually are. she will worship you so much you would think every 'imperfection' you have is prettier than ever.
she looked into your eyes as she lays in your lap, the sky is pretty, and that was what she thought she would be looking at the whole time, but it seems she made other plans. your eyes are just too captivating, too pretty, and too- her thoughts cut off as she felt your hand play with her loose hair, as she had put it down just as you started to ask her the question.
your hands were soft, and felt nice in her hair. she could lay here forever if it meant you were going to be here and stroke her hair like this, she's sure her pops wouldn't mind if she feel asleep for just a little longer, and she definitely could when she is laying on her darling.
"yoimiya? oh, you're awake, how as your na-" "you look divine" she cut you off as she just stared up at you like you were the god of beauty, like you were the god of her heart, and maybe you were, but to her it wasnt even a maybe. "y-you think so? dont i just look messy? or ugly? i dont think i even brushed my hair today" she looked up at you with a questioning look in her eyes
"no how dare you even think that, you look divine, beautiful, pretty, majestic, lovely, attractive, god-like, charming-" she stopped when you held a hand over her mouth, she wanted to kiss it so badly... "ok ok, i-i get it, i look pretty to you" your face was red, really red, and it looked cute she thinks, very cute indeed. she should make you blush more often so she can see more of your beauty that is only for her too see.
she had an even bigger smile on for the next week and no one knew why, but she normally smiles a lot so they didnt question her. though she would have happily answered with a long rant about you.
when you two actually started dating she would have a constant blush on her face for the next month or smt, she just cant believe you would actually date her, i mean you were just so perfect in every way, and then theres her what do you even see in her, do you even see anything in her?
but its fine if you dont, she wont let you leave anyway, she cant lose you not now, not ever. you are hers and hers alone, and you know she will make sure it stays that way, even if it costs her verything else. you will be hers, and she will be yours.
i uhh didnt just give you general headcanos heh, your welcome??? wtf is going on with me rn
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im so single that being kidnapped by a hot person doesnt sound bad at all, like take me PLEASE... *cough cough* thank u for reading pls kidnap me, luv ya-Masterlist
You are welcome to reblog and like any of my posts, but you CAN NOT translate, copy or hate on anybody for liking my posts
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lynnthefrenchtoast · 1 month
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Lines from "In The Other Universe" that I CANT GET OVER
in which a fanfic writer (me) overexplains her oneshot bc I NEED TO RAMBLE AND MY IRLS FOLLOW ME ON EVERY OTHER PLATFORM SO TUMBLR IS ALL! I! HAVE!
(u should prob read it first this wont make sense otherwise)
"Even though it was not his name, Yin Yu turned"
i dont know if this is a canon scene or not (sue me the books are LONG and hard to buy in my country) but i've read about yin yu getting mistaken for yizhen and getting totally upset. so i decided to start this fic with him being so okay with it that he responds to qi ying's name as if it's his own.
(also because if ur so close to someone, ur nosy abt their business because it also becomes your business) I WANTED TO CONVEY THAT CLOSENESS FROM THE VERY FIRST LINE
"Should I tell Yizhen you can't even recognize me?"
CANON YIN YU IS SO GLOOMY AND HONESTLY WE UNDERESTIMATE HIS POTENTIAL TO BE TEASY. i just know he could be. all hard workers have a sarcastic inner voice
"The man damn near shits his pants"
AHAHHA okay look. i have this tendency when writing to be REALLY PRETENTIOUS AND FANCY. and ive learnt that usually NO ONE GIVES TWO SHITS. compared to genshin, tgcf fanfics are so beautifully written and sometimes i gotta remind this fandom to SPEAK INFORMALLY (unless its qi rong. then. yea. BUT WHO READS QI RONG FICS?)
"The blank wrist that has never known the kiss of cold metal"
I RIPPED MY OWN HEART OUT WITH THIS ONE
"In this universe, he discovers it's such a simple thing to be happy."
proof that quanyin is literally hualian's cousin
the entire earring scene
i am a sucker for qyz's over-attachment to the earrings. ik a lot of ppl think he's like this because its the only thing yin yu ever gave him but NO headcanon that even in the other universe, yizhen would be overly attached because hes a puppy
he xuan scene
canonically, he xuan would NEVER. bc 1) he's too lost in his own ways to ask for advice and 2) it would fuck with his earth master disguise too much. but since it's the other universe!!!! I CAN DO WHAT I WANT.
“Yizhen’s victory is my victory,” he declares, with a tone that leaves no room for argument. “His loss is my loss. When Yizhen cries, I am sad. When Yizhen smiles at me, my heart is so full it could burst.” He brings two jade white palms together, interlocking the fingers like entangled limbs on a hot summer morning. “We’re like this. One shared past; one shared future. As a Shixiong, don’t you think rather than being jealous, I’m extremely proud of how far he’s come?”
my favourite freaking line can you tell? IT SHOWS THEIR ABILITY TO ROOT FOR ONE ANOTHER. SHOWS EMPATHY. SHOWS LOVE. ("my heart is so full it could burst") THE RECALL TO THE MORNING THEY WOKE UP TOGETHER, REMINDING YOU OF DOMESTICITY AND SIMPLICITY AND TRUST AND CLOSENESS.
ONE SHARED PAST; ONE SHARED FUTURE ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? this is all i ever wanted for them. to be able to grow together and live together and die together. TO HAVE A SHARED PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE.
this line is also loaded to me bc i once wrote a fic called "entangled pasts; estranged future" that wasnt good enough to be posted but GOD IT REMINDS ME SO MUCH OF IT
"Here, he never needs to know the weight of a mask – neither physical not metaphorical."
i dont like how i worded this but IT NEEDED TO BE SAID. YIN YU NEVER NEEDS TO KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO WEAR THE WANING MOON MASK but more importantly NEVER NEEDS TO KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO WEAR A MASK TOWARDS QUAN YIZHEN. NEVER NEEDS TO HIDE RESENTMENT. im shaking with all they couldve been and didnt become.
"Here, Brocade and Immortal are just two words"
hear that? its the sound of me BANGING MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALL AAAAAA I SO DESPERATELY WANT THIS TO BE REAL i mean i understand if they werent so tragic i wouldnt love them as much but IT HURTS! (*100 teehee)
"Sure it will."
i actually hate myself why did i end it like that even in my fanfic i cant let them be happy. huh. i have to subtly hint that this isnt what happens.
its actually so upsetting that the whole fic is so nice and healing and all of it is just overcasted by this knowledge of "its not real. they never get to be this happy. what really happens is they resent each other and leave each other and they become one shared past; two estranged futures."
you can call me insane. im aware no one thinks this deeply about fanfiction and most people are on the site for smut. BUT I THOUGHT LONG AND HARD ABOUT IT SO YOURE FORCED TO LISTEN TO ME RAMBLE
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iwasbored777 · 8 months
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so ur trolls posts got me to watch trolls world tour again. i remembered liking it but i couldnt remember why, but now i know for sure
I FCUKING LOVE TROLLS WORLD TOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!
ALL THE INCREDIBLE WRITERS WERE SECRETLY ON TROLLS 2 !!!!!!’n
I CANT TBINK OF A SINGLE FLAW IN TROLLS WOULD TOUR!!!!!!!
i was NOT expecting a brilliantly written masterpiece about colonialism, but thats what i got, and its going in the greatest of all time hall of fame in my brain forever.
im not gonna sit here and regale you on the message of the movie. they only said fax, no printer, and its an important message to send kids. alot of the messages kids get about races and borders is “we are all the same 😚” but they came in with the “we are NOT the same and that is both good and bad, both exciting and dangerous so you need to be aware of dangerous ideas of “harmony”” and thats so real. kids need to understand differences are OK.
i love how they backed off the “chosen one” vibe poppy had in the first movie and talked about her flaws as a leader. while her stubborness was a good thing in the first movie to contrast branches pessimistic nature, it wouldnt have worked here, and i can see a cheap writer (like m*chael w*ldron) either insisting she gets away with her selfishness and carrying on with the happy ending anyway, or pretending that wasnt a character trait at all (because w*ldron doesnt watch the first movie and writes a sequel anyway)
my favorite scene is the bubble scene and the woods right after they leave funk where branch confronts poppy. do i even need to tell you why?
i just want to mention it because im pretty sure branch sings a cover of “girl crush” by little big town, which is a country band, and branch said he likes country music earlier and that slays. but when poppy comes in, what they sing is definitley not girl crush, and i cant tell if its giving “trolls can mix music” or im completley wrong and its a different song alltogether. but i cant tell if that song is homophobic or is super gay, so if im wrong thats prob for the best.
the only flaw i can think of is the country music, as a midwestern i can confidently say that was an affront to real blue grass country music. i guess born to die “works” but it didnt represent country as well as the other genres did. theres alot of controversy in the country music fandom with alot of singers who sound exactly the same and produced like its a factory line. but even if people still think miranda lambert and carrie underwood arent true country singers, their songs wouldve worked better than born to die. also the country trolls shouldve been on a self sufficient farm instead of the wild west. that wild western jazzy piano and country music isnt the same.
the only bad part about the movie is that it ended and barb ATE. SHE LEFT NO CRUMBS WITH THAT INTRO. send ask.
Lol I love your review. I love Trolls World Tour a lot too and all their other movies. Great stuff.
And yeah I love Poppy and how she can accomplish A LOT but she doesn't make it on her own, she needs character development and help from others just like everyone else. Characters are surprisingly realistic.
Barb really was goat, the best antagonist in the franchise. I love parallels between her and Poppy, how both had different intentions (Poppy wanted to help and Barb wanted to conquer) but Poppy's method was also wrong and both Poppy and Barb and everyone had to make compromises for all tribes to live in harmony because no one has to change their lifestyle for that to happen, all they have to do is accept that they're different and that's perfect. Just be yourself and let others be themselves.
That song in the end (Just Sing) slaps hard (and so does Can't Stop The Feeling btw).
P.S. Tiny Diamond fucking slays 🔥🔥🔥
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tubborucho · 3 months
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Hi liss this Is probs never gonna be canon since i think the frozen part of the Prison was the feds doing on purpuse but i was thinking wouldnt it be fucked up if it wasnt. Like what if qtubbo, once locked up, started freaking out and that fear made the Prison froze (and then the feds were 'like we can use this in our favor') . I just think Is neat how tubbo doesnt seem to be able to Knowingly control his weather powers since those are tied to his emotions. Similar i was thinking about how when in distress of the first fred situation he tried to drown himself but in the eye guy confrontation they drowned him. This guy can hold so many nature related trauma. Good he has one sunshine in his life, or had. Now Lets talk about the soulfire base
Omg this is such a cool idea, I genuinely like it. It maybe is not canon, but it deserves to be a great AU.
Yeas, please, talk to me about the Soulfire base!:)
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munamania · 4 months
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so right a couple of my film friends and i met last night to do wine and glee and i left and tried to catch a bus in our gross rainy cold weather and so when it finally comes im just like zoo wee mama my glasses r fogging up and all that shit. but who of course is on the bus but my one friend the main perpetrator of acting like im some flaky cunt (rant city below)
so i guess technically this wouldnt look great on my part bc i was obviously Somewhere and had been ignoring the group chat making plans but oh my GOD whatever who careessssss who Cares. so im like fucking phenomenal ok walk back Omg hi and she moves her shit so i can sit and i get settled and am like hey. and she asks what i was up to and ofc when i say anything bc this is fucking awkward shes just got this stupid smug little smile but i was just sitting there like bitch im not gonna sit here and act embarrassed for seeing my other friends so i was just like So are u guys doing x tn and shes like mhm yep are you coming and i was like well gee i dont know. sarcastic shrug. make conversation about the timing of the place for a second kinda jokin then awk silence
and so then because im a chill normal adult and am aware that shes about to go meet the group of friends and no matter what this interaction is going to be brought up and i had been planning on composing a levelheaded text but i just said Look im sorry that i ghosted you guys (and shes again smug smiling nodding next to me. girl.) i just honestly got tired of feeling like im being singled out and judged when i cant make it to something and she literally is just like Well im sorry you feel that way just u know we do try to come up w different days etc (if u like me are bad at reading between the lines this was a non apology and defense based on uh Nothing) and i was like right well ik last semester wasnt great it's just that sometimes i feel like im being shunned in the group chats when no one answers or reacts to anything i say and the other day when you said like. yk the 'could u commit' thing that felt really sort of condescending
and shes like again well im sorry u felt that way i was just trying to find another day that u could actually make it cause i wanted us all to be there so im not really sure how that came across as condescending but um yeah. and i, jackass that i am (<3) pulled out my phone and pointed and said Well u see we didnt have actual plans and in fact no one answered when i said anything abt it and yk things come up and so for me to have sent this whole nice thing and just get 'do you think youd be able to commit' in response felt a little bit needlessly mean (and i also tried to earnestly say at some point in all this that i genuinely do love and care for them and want to see them but yk this Sucks and was just bad timing)
THEN we somehow spin into her going Well i just had no idea this was even a thing until you brought it up just now i mean i wasnt even thinking abt it ive never really thought that of you etc and so then im sitting here feeling like im being gaslit in real time not to be dramatic and i felt very much like when i was in high school and people manipulated me bc i was a very easy target (its not that real but w/e) and so im like Ok be calm but dont just like let that slide cause girl be serious (prob should have but what ever) so i was like well you know i do apologize if i just couldnt tell your intent over text, but after you guys never answered me about hanging out and then the short responses like maybe u can kind of see where i felt like you were being rude (didnt say it quite that bluntly w/e)
and she pulls out the big card. the. well i just think youre being defensive. oh years and years of being the youngest and punished for um having feelings lmfao slammed me in my chest at that moment. and i calmly said Okay cool i think youre being defensive. and i lit missed my bus stop cause this driver was swerving so then i was just like Well you guys have fun maybe ill see you tonight bye. so. really feeling awesome abt the state of that. in all reality tho it's like i hung out w some friends and then went out to the gay bar w others and danced and etc and i can only imagine how much of a Thing this was for them so. if someone could win it'd be me right
(on another note at some point during this ride sams roommate requested to follow me back <3 which i had been pretending not to think abt for the last couple hours) anyway
this has been a post let me know if im being normalish
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neptune-ian · 2 months
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ik most idols not going to date non fans but for those that have their fs as an idol it must be awkward to have ppl doing readings on them? like im thinking if bts members know about it and their fs isnt it just supposed to then happen at some time in their lives? like ppl who were panicking that it isnt themselves well ofc it wasnt going to be...
can you do a reading on how would bts fs first felt when they knew they were an idols fs / what they think of armies overall and if they pay any attention to bts music cause i feel like if they arent fan of their music then what would they want to be with the members for?
you would have to like them for their music or at least somewhat be a lowkey fan otherwise it would also be awkward than anything else cause a lot of armies would probs want to be with the idols for other aspects like the attention theyd get (both good and bad) money is another reason someone would want to be with bts but not for the genuine relationship and i think the stans that fangirl about it being themselves well they arent going to have genuine relationship otherwise bc a lot of stans might cross the line
honestly id be so curious though for when bts do go publicly in relationships (IF they ever do) cause if ppl are already freaking out about jks fs and now yoongis its surely going to be a dissapointment to many? so i dont blame bts for never speaking about their personal lives outside of the group itself cause they know how quick armies are to overreact to such news of them dating, in fact wouldnt be surprised if a member or two got married without telling fans and one day theyd be like hey btw they just got married not that long ago
and as much as i love kpop music and overall groups i dont think i could cope with it without feeling not trapped but kind of caged in by not being able to be open about it but also their fan bases, like im sure some idols like their western fan base more so bc theres different behaviours they display compared to knetz yet when they are grouped into one huge online "community" i think thats when things get out of control like it did for jks fs
idk these are just my 2 cents on the whole fs thing, sure some people would be idols fs but how can they truly know without being delulu? cause some idols are going to be like eww they wouldnt date a fan due to their fan base or they would maybe date within the safetynet of the industry and just not bother looking elsewhere, foreign idols most likely probs want to date other foriegn idols so the margin is kind of slim or somewhat limited in that respect as to who actually would have chance to date idol
Hi anon!
What you say is interesting and right. However I don’t read of the FS because some can be aware of me reading them which I do not want them to know.
What I know from my pov is that people connected to celebs (me for instance) we have HUGE mental breakdowns because of it, we doubt it everyday, find reasons and ways to say « well no, it was all in my head I’m fine » whereas the proofs are in front of us lol. So for the FS it must be WORSE than what we go through.
The delulus thought are not connected and misjudge their wishes as a connection. They have nothing because if you asked them some proofs where there is a connection they won’t give you anything. Saying « yesterday I thought of eating an apple and Felix ate 3 in this live » or « I wished to see Jay’s abs and he showed it » it doesn’t work like that. That is not a connection let alone a real sign.
I can’t talk for the FS because I am not them but they must have felt like a delulu too. They must have felt like they are/were obsessed over their future husband and if they have a good mental state then they may or may not have suffered from this. That’s not easy to know that you’re a celeb spouse with all the pros and cons.
If one of the FS is really lurking there on Tumblr trying to make sense out of their situation they may know deep down the truth but still reject it as they stay silent 🤷🏽‍♀️ if one had interacted with readers then they may like the readings and/or are curious about what is said. I can’t tell 🙃
But for those that are aware let’s greet them and show them how we respect and value them for who they are and not because they are someone’s spouse, have a curvy body, are known, rich, independant and stuff! They deserve love just lile they will give love to their partner ☺️
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nightmaredxydreams · 1 month
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theres no way i have this.
look, heres all the proof you need. im whining about not having DID lmao
who truly has DID and does that? no. body. thats all the proof you need
people who truly dissociate suffer from it. i dont. i love the numbness from my body that experiences so much discomfort (not even chronic pain not even pain like all other DID systems have just fucking discomfort, mostly caused by autism hypersensitivity) i love the feeling of being detached from my own flesh prison ugly undesirable embarassing body. i am fucking faking im prob psycho or sum shit lmaooo
i dont even dissociate that badly. other real DID and even OSDD systems be out here so dissociated they dont even fuckin know their name and feel like nothings real all the time. i never forget my name or personal information, i just forget what i just thought or zone out daydreaming or sum shit and say "whoops! i dissociated sorry" or if im lucky, have few seconds long derealization in little few day long episodes. i dont even fucking dissociate for real. definitely not enough to have DID
i never had severe trauma. i was too disabled and shielded. fuck, the disabilities i was born with prob mimic DID. brain damage to the hippocampus, a majorly affected part of the brain in DID put two and together lmao. who knows how psycho the brain damage made me. im autistic and intellectually disabled, all people with intellectual disability are perverts they get arrested for sex crimes more than other people lmfao ofc i was hypersexual at 3 there was no sexual abuse i am too ugly to be sexually abused or even desired ofc im faking being sexually abused to make me feel better about myself lmfaooo i just cant live with the fact i was born a worthless undesirable unfuckable ugly pervert
if i had DID i wouldnt fucking remember when i was 3 who tf u kiddin
im sensitive to yelling and the least little "threatening" tone or touch or even fucking hand signal. if i was really sexually abused id be triggered by sexual shit, not the least little thing like a trauma free scared little baby
if i had DID id switch out more, especially when triggered or in situations where it would help. idk if i even switch out, i prob js fall asleep, wake up and do shit in the early stages of waking up i dont remember. instead my alters are just back there and do nothing when im being retraumatized and i have to call out mentally loudly to get any alters to respond anymore. then just trying to communicate with them gives me a headache from hell. proof enough my alters are delusions and im some psycho. most of my "alters" are just vague faces with voices and not much of identity. most of them fade away. just like delusions.
i feel like im worthless unless i was sexually abused. my whole worth depends on it for some fucked up reason. i will get defensive toward the two people i live with who say it didnt happen, they arent honest all the time but when they say theres no chance it happened bc i was too shielded even tho i have memories of being alone w him (no abuse memories bc fuck no) i believe it and feel iffy when i even wonder if i was sexually abused. when i think about any other form of abuse i suffered or trauma i have, i feel like that means i wasnt sexually abused. i have no memories of it, i never did until someone pointed out that my hypersexuality at 3 was a sign of sexual abuse so i went diving for the memories myself. then what i got were a few random half ass flashbacks to the sexual abuse. if i was really sexually abused i wouldve had flashbacks to it waaay before i made myself remember. everyone else with ptsd, did osdd etc does
other people with DID feel broken and suffer because of their trauma. they remember it somehow and suffer from the effects of it. i just suffer from wanting to have the trauma to be valid, not knowing if the trauma happened and having things trauma victims have but no memories of the trauma. the only flashbacks i have are to things i deserve, things that other people would agree i deserve and arent anywhere near as traumatizing as it can get for a real sexual abuse survivor. things that dont cause DID and rarely cause ptsd. i have cringe ass trauma. i dont have valid trauma.
i dont really have DID and i wasnt sexually abused. i just held onto the idea as an excuse for me being a worthless, born broken, jealous, delusional psycho pervert who will never amount to anything, never matter enough to get a job, marry or have a family, never mattered enough to be smart or do normal kid things because of my disabilities, never got to be cool and wont be, am trying to be cool and matter when i never will, am so ugly my body doesnt deserve love and sure as fuck wasnt sexually desired as a little kid how fucking sick of me to even want that to matter, and dont matter because of my disabilities. im sorry for faking it all. no wonder my denial was so strong, it was never real anyway. now im gonna do some major fucking harm to my ugly waste of space and resources body and kill myself. im fucking sick and tired of living in hell from my own brain torturing me saying im worthless and not valid and more i cant say here. good fucking bye.
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soobinies · 1 month
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seen your “my ask is open” and yeonjun is your ult posts now i'm not a kpop blog but yeonjun is one of MY ults so I'm about to ask you a bunch of questions about him if that’s ok!! <3
1. favorite personality trait
2. favorite physical feature
3. favorite fancam
4. favorite era / concept photos
5. favorite hair color
6. favorite outfit
7. something you’d like to see yeonjun try in the future (related or not to his work)
8. something about him you think is underrated
9. how did he become your ult?
10. lastly, do you think you two would click?
1. favorite personality trait?
one of my favorite things from him is his mbti type, hes a enfp. like i feel like he is someone who makes friends really easily
2. favorite physical feature
it would have to be his eyes, his eyes are pretty and i swear if he ever looked at me i would pass away. i also like his mole he has near his eye
3. favorite fancam
youtube
or this
youtube
4. favorite era / concept photos
blue hour! nahh but this one! i love this one too!!! but also srr. the photos for those was so pretty! the freeze chapter i think would have to be my favorite tho like loser lover and 0x=lovesong era was so beautiful to me
5. favorite hair color
pink!!!! his blue hour hair he had was soo pretty, he looked so good in it
6. favorite outfit
this one
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blockbuster yeonjun was something i wasnt ready for
7. something you’d like to see yeonjun try in the future (related or not to his work)
acting! i would love to see him in a drama. he would be soo good in it
8. something about him you think is underrated
hmm i really cant think of anything right now
9. how did he become your ult?
well to be honest when i first was getting itno txt soobin was my ult and yeonjun wasnt doing anything he was just being himself and i fell for him. it was like in the beginning of 2020 like January fhdjfjsdfj! i remember how i didnt want to admit i was starting to bias him. its the little things he did then pretty soon he joined soobin lol
10. lastly, do you think you two would click?
i say we would but in reality i dont think he would like me bc im too boring and i wouldnt be able to talk to him. he would prob tell me something and i would be like "haha yeah.." and then akward silence. i would say something dumb like "your eyes are pretty" and I'd embarrassed myself so bad. i think he would laugh at me dsjfsfshgjdsjg
thak you for sendinf these in, this was so fun
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