the souls of a buried city

I'm super proud of this! (@comicaurora)

Take Care

Pairings: Pedro Pascal x f!reader

Warnings: fluff, brief mention of alcohol, mentions of stress.

Summary: After a rough week at work Pedro wants to take care of you.

Word count: 1289

Author Note: I woke up this morning inspired to write and this little piece came together as I was getting ready to start my work day. Hope you all enjoy, any feedback is appreciated <3

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It was late. The house being virtually silent except, coming from the office in the next room, the sounds of you clicking away furiously at the keyboard. The atmosphere was particularly comforting to him as he sat mulling over the script for the next job lined up.

You worked too hard he already knew that and on multiple occasions had expressed that you didn't have to work at all, he had enough for the two of you to live comfortably. But he also knew that you loved your job, eyes lighting up with pure passion every time you spoke about it. A wave of worry washed over him briefly remembering that it was a very busy period, the project you where working on just a mere few weeks away from release so it was all hands on deck. The only comfort being that he knew you had a great team around you who where a solid support system. Everyday you made him proud and the moment he sees your name on something you had poured your soul into then his heart will probably burst of out his chest.

Leaving the iPad to one side for a moment he left the couch in search of you, mainly to put the niggles at the back of his mind to rest but also ask if anything was needed. He had eaten alone early in the evening as you where stuck in endless meetings. No bother to him but he was concerned you weren’t getting enough nutrition - making a mental note to ask if food had crossed your mind yet.

Stood in the doorway of the office he took in the sight of you hunched over at the desk, fingers working away furiously. You had a small scowl on your face which told him something wasn’t right, there it was again that wave of worry sharp in his chest. Opting for the mix of comfy but professional then your upper body adorned a smart t-shirt and then on the bottom half those damn Grogu pyjama pants you absolutely wore to death. He loved that you where a bit of a nerd, it was cute. Pedro’s mind wondered for a second upon laying eyes on you again. He knew you where a fan when you met, the sheer surprise and acknowledgement in your face as you locked eyes with him for the first time - there was also that well worn Grogu backpack you clutched so tightly like a prized possession.

What he loved the most though you treated him like the normal human being he is, it was refreshing to say the least. After accidentally bumping into you whilst at his local coffee shop (completely at fault and too busy looking at his phone). The contents of the cup once held in your tiny hands ended up spilt on the floor. Apologising profusely he quickly ordered you a fresh one, holding your small hand up to stop him from continuing to grovel and with a simple but breath taking smile said “Accidents happen, don’t worry”. Pedro knew he was done from that moment and quickly suggested fetching a table. Normally he wouldn’t stay and chat in fear of being recognised but you caught his eye leaving him wanting to know more. It was just general chit chat but he hung onto every word that familiar sparkle in your eyes showing through so clearly. He still felt bad for the coffee incident and at least wanted to make it up to you but on some level this felt different. After for what felt like hours the conversation was interrupted by a phone call from his agent and he had to dash.

It happened again a week later in that same coffee shop (minus the bumping and spilt coffee this time) he spotted you instantly when ordering his drink - tucked away in the corner head buried in a book. Grabbing an extra coffee on his order he headed straight for your table, eager to talk again. Both knowing this was probably going to become a habit you exchanged phone numbers and what started out as friends for the first few months grew into the solid loving relationship you where in now, 2 years later. He knew how lucky he was.

”P…you okay?” your voice brought him back to the present moment eyes searching his. Completely lost in his thoughts, unsure of how long he had been stood in the doorway. “I’m okay mi amor, I came to check on you but obviously got distracted” he chuckled moving from the door to behind the office chair. Pedro wrapped his warm arms around your shoulders planting a gentle kiss atop your head. You leant into his embrace taking a moment to breathe, the stress of the day was starting to get too much and you knew it was time to clock off. “Worried about you cariño, have you eaten today?” he half-whispered against your ear. As if on queue then your stomach growled “I’ll take that as a no then…come on or I’m resorting to other tactics” he laughed softly tapping your shoulder and freeing you from his embrace.

Curious you spun in your chair facing him cocking one eyebrow “Tactics hey? like what Pedrito?” Oh he loves it when you use that nickname, it’s gets him. Every. Damn. Time. Pedro didn’t even think his lips just smashing against yours kissing you passionately. Moving to wrap your arms around his neck pulling him closer you continue the heated exchange, his hands coming up to cradle your face gently. He moved back leaning his forehead against yours after a few moments, both breathless. “How about a frozen pizza & some wine? then we can spend what’s left of the evening on the couch”. You pondered for a moment. Technically you had done all your tasks for the day as well as the extra thrown in last minute (hence why you where working so late again). Plus it was Friday - with no work obligations for the next day then you where free to enjoy after a stressful week. “That sounds perfect to me…I’ll be out in a minute” you smiled at him.

It wasn’t a minute…more like 10 when you had finally logged off and headed for the kitchen, finding Pedro stood near the hot oven sipping on a glass of wine. “Got your favourite…” he beamed pouring a serving in the empty wine glass “and pizza is nearly done, go get on the couch querida”. Like a true gentlemen he doted on you bringing the pizza fresh from the oven, stealing a slice for himself of course, and topping the wine glass up when required . He knew it was a rough one and aimed to care for you the same way you do for him when he has bad days at the office. One bottle of wine in and a random film was playing on the TV. No idea what was even going on though because you did not pay any attention - too busy wrapped up in your head about the man snuggled up next to you. Turning your head to look at him for a moment before reaching over, laying a hand flat on his chest for support, placing a chaste kiss on his lips. This caught his attention eyes locking with yours. “Thankyou P” you said softly. He didn't need to ask why, he already knew, flashing you a toothy grin pulling your frame closer to his. Life wasn’t always perfect but with Pedro in it then it made things a hell of a lot easier.

9 Games that Defined My 2010′s (pt. 2)

NOTE for 7/5/2023 - I sat on this article then never published it. 3 years later I figured just to preserve this article as it was intended to be read by me from 3 years ago. My thoughts & feelings have changed. The final 2 entries had little text & my memory is not strong enough to remember the context carefully enough to really add onto what was there.

4) Bloodborne (played on PS4)

Lovecraftian horror saw a huge resurgence in the 2010s, and Bloodborne was the first thing to show me that you could easily harness the author’s distinct sensibilities while avoiding all the racist/sexism/homophobic/pro-eugenics bullshit that informed H.P. Lovecraft’s worldview.  Bloodborne sidesteps these pitfalls entirely by merging the aesthetics of Lovecraft & Victorian-era gothic fantasy horror to weave a tale of politics, the abuse of power, and how those abuses destroy the lives of ordinary people.  Truthfully, so much of the actual story & sequence is so obfuscated that the only way to really grasp it is to dive into community-built Wikis, watch plot explainers, & pour through archived Reddit threads. Bloodborne’s world is horrific.  Chilling soundscapes, unsettling environments, and increasingly distressing monster designs evoke an almost nihilistic sense of doom.  I heard unseen NPCs cry out in pain and read descriptions about mass suffering, and it became clear that Yharnam was not only haunted by werewolves and aliens, but the despair.  ALSO, there’s a game you can play too!  Unlike Dark Souls, the combat loop revolves around aggressive play, leading to a faster, twitchier feel.  Even though I played Dark Souls first, I didn’t like it.  Bloodborne’s loop was super compelling, though years out, the setting still lingers with me.

3) Pokken Tournament DX (played on Wii U & Nintendo Switch)

In 2013, I was a frightened closeted trans kid that just escaped the Midwest, heading towards an unfamiliar city.  In my new home, I started developing interest for competitive Smash Bros: Melee thanks to the surge of popularity the game was having online.  I quickly saved up for a Gamecube and started I grinding Melee, but ultimately this first foray into competitive fighting games would be a lonely experience, as I struggled to find friends or local meetups. I dropped Melee and wound up neglecting the genre until around 2016, when I reluctantly tried out Pokken Tournament on the WIi U (BTW f--- 2016).   Picking it up initially was rather bewildering, as Pokken is just, fucking  WEIRD.  Matches constantly switch between a 3D arena-fighter arena with 6 degrees of movement, and a 2D state that plays like a traditional fighting game. Moves & inputs change across both settings, meaning that every character has 2 unique kits to learn.  Despite this curve-ball, I quickly came to adore Pokken’s lightning-quick pace.

Also, it’s deeply important to note that the game has Suicune, my favorite Legendary Water Dog.  Pokemon Crystal (for Game Boy Color) was the 2nd game I ever owned so YEAH, Pokken DID mine some unearned affection from me right out of the gate.  I’m ashamed of nothing. Solid fighting games were certainly common in 2016 (BTW fuck 2016), but, unknown to me, Pokken Tournament had something uncommon: decent online matchmaking. Even in 2020, Japanese-developed fighting games still implement delay-based netcode that doesn’t scale well from Japan to America, which infamously makes online play a struggle for many here in the US. With Pokken, online matches came quickly and felt responsive, even on my average connection. This ease of access allow me to spend 100-ish hours in the game’s competitive modes.  With hindsight, I was lucky super that my reintroduction to fighting games was so accessible and opened my heart up to the genre.

2) Tetris Effect (played on PS4 & PSVR)

I have two special interest that do not overlap: Electronic Dance Music and video games. This game merged those two things awkwardly, but in a way that helped me celebrate my love for commercial dance music.

1) Warframe (played on PC & Nintendo Switch)

I have ADHD & Warframe’s loops sucked me in. 600 hours and $600 dollars spent on a game that let me press buttons.

Is it good? Kinda. Narrative stuff is a bit Warhammer-y, which like, fine.

Top Shelf: Chapter 11- The Pages in Between

Pairing: Bucky x reader (Bookshop/bartender AU)

Word Count: 1,637

Summary: You tell Bucky your idea on how to save the bookshop 

Author’s Note: Hey everyone, Happy Monday! I know I say it every time but I’m so thankful for those of you that have stuck with me through this story. It makes me so happy. I’m sure you all saw this coming and that’s ok. As I’ve said before this really is just a love story that hopefully makes you feel good and happy. Thank you again! Thank you all for reading! All my love always! ❤❤❤

Warnings: SUPER FLUFFY LOVE FLUFF, implied sexy times :)

Previous Chapters (* indicates smut)

Chapter 1: Enchantment

Chapter 2: Cookie Crumble

Chapter 3: Sweet Anticipation

Chapter 4: Read Between the Limes

Chapter 5: Secrets on the Shelf

Chapter 6: Love Between the Covers *

Chapter 7: Love Lines & Soul Finds

Chapter 8: Drunk in Love *

Chapter 9: Pour in onto the Page

Chapter 10: Recipe for Love *

His response is almost immediate, your phone lighting up as his message comes through. ‘Really baby?? I can’t wait to hear all about it! I’m not going to lie I’m pretty excited.’ You smile at your phone as your fingers fly over the keyboard. ‘I know, me too. I mean it’s just the beginning of an idea and of course we have to talk about a bunch of things but I’m eager to hear what you think.’

You sink further into the tub, a sigh of contentedness leaving your lips. Just as your eyes begin to close your phone buzzes again. You grab it and read the message. ‘Send me one more pic. I have another two hours before I can get home to you.’ Stifling a giggle, you snap a photo of your legs resting atop the edge of the tub and send it his way. ‘Longest two hours of my life,’ is his reply, followed by, ‘you better be awake when I get home…’

Deciding to leave him hanging you enjoy the rest of the warm water, allowing the bubble bath to do its magic. By the time you get out you’re softer than a baby’s bottom and very relaxed. You put on Bucky’s tee shirt and get into his bed, cuddling into his pillow so you’re enveloped in his smell.

He gets home around 2 am, quietly shuffling into his room to find you peacefully asleep in his bed. The blinds are still open, and the light of the moon reflects off your glowing skin. Bucky sits at the edge of the bed, delicately tracing his fingers over your bare shoulder. Brushing some hair from your face he leans down to kiss the corner of your mouth just as it curls up into a smile.

You roll onto your back and blink open your eyes, tugging on his arm so he lays down. “Hi beautiful,” he whispers as his hands smooth over your silky skin. “I’m sorry if I woke you. I was just…” You silence him with a kiss, any excitement over your idea momentarily forgotten.

For once Bucky sleeps later than you, his bare feet slapping against the floor and jolting you from your thoughts. “How long have you been up doll?” You run over to him and throw yourself into his arms. He easily catches you, peppering your face with kisses. “I made coffee. BUT IT’S SO BAD. So now you have to make coffee.” You give him a sorry look, pushing yourself up and onto the counter while he starts a new pot.

Minutes later he hands you a cup, the delicious, hot liquid warming you from head to toe. “Ok, now that we’ve both had a sip of edible coffee and I can concentrate on what you’re saying rather than trying to get you naked, let’s hear it!” You almost spit out your coffee at this last comment, shaking your head in amusement. “Ok, so. Eeeeeeeee, ok, this coffee isn’t helping, I’m practically buzzing!” you say before you jump down from the counter.

Pacing the floor, you chew your bottom lip as you try to get your thoughts in order. To Bucky’s credit he waits patiently, sipping his coffee quietly and letting you do your thing. “Alright. So, I hate to sound all about myself, but everyone really liked the pie last night, right?” Bucky agrees with no hesitation. “And grandma, you and Nat went nuts over my chocolate chip peanut butter cookies, yes?” Again, Bucky nods enthusiastically, smiling big. “And you and grandma really loved my chocolate pie and chocolate chip cookies?”

Bucky gently grabs your shoulders, bringing you into his chest and looking you straight in the eyes. “Yes, yes and more yes. Your baking is amazing and there is no doubt that everyone agrees.” You can feel the blush creep up your cheeks, your head dropping to hide in Bucky’s chest. Feeling the rumble of his laugh makes you smile, his finger hooking under your chin to bring your eyes to his. “I mean it.”

With a kiss you continue. “Thank you. So, if you guys like it there is no reason that other people wouldn’t like it. What if we added a café or bakery to the bookshop? Or both! I realize that it will cost money and right now that’s the problem. But I haven’t really thought all that through yet. However, I think if we add the baked goods and maybe even coffee and hot chocolate and stuff like that it could draw in more of a crowd. Also, you have a bartending license. Maybe we can do poetry slams and/or trivia nights. We can serve drinks and treats and charge at the door.”

Your hands are flying every which way and you’re talking a mile a minute, your enthusiasm warming Bucky’s heart and making him fall even more in love with you. It isn’t until you’re out of breath and he’s finished his coffee that you finally slow down. “Well?” He stares at you for what feels like forever before he puts down his cup and takes you in his arms.

“I love you. And I love your idea. I definitely think we have some things to figure out and a lot to go over but together I think we can make anything work.” You shake your head yes, too many emotions welling up inside you to speak. You simply press your lips to his and tell him everything he needs to know.

Later that morning you head home to do laundry and clean up, missing Bucky the moment you walk through your door. Luckily, he had the idea to stay over at the bookshop tonight and sleep up in the secret attic space. To say you were excited was an understatement.

You pack a light bag and head over to meet him, but not before grabbing the tin of chocolate chip peanut butter cookies you baked earlier as a surprise for him. The bookshop is closing just as you arrive, and you smile at the customer who is leaving. Bucky runs around the cashier counter and plants a firm kiss on your lips.

“Hi. Missed you.” You shove the tin into his hands and say, “I was just about to say the same thing. I made you something.” Bucky’s eyes widen as he starts to open the tin, bringing it up to his nose and inhaling the delicious peanut butter and chocolate smell. “You made me more?” he asks, face still half inside. “Yes, and you can eat as many as you want, as long as you share with me.”

Popping one into his mouth he gives you a thumbs up, placing the tin down and turning the sign to closed and locking the door. “The pizza just got here 5 minutes ago, and they gave us paper plates and everything.” Your mouth waters at the mention of food. “Ok, great. I’m starving. I have water and more snacks too. Are we eating upstairs?”

Bucky nods, taking the cookies and pizza and walking toward the back. When you get up the stairs and open the door you’re surprised to see that Bucky has hung a small string of star lights over the love seat and made a pile of blankets and pillows in the middle of the floor.

“Aw Buck, it looks so beautiful and cozy! This is going to be so fun.” The two of you settle on the floor surrounded by the pizza box and snacks, your feet touching while you dig into your first slice.  “You have some sauce right there,” Bucky says, leaning in to brush his thumb over your bottom lip. You take his thumb into your mouth and suck off the sauce, closing your eyes and letting out a moan.

When you open them again his lips are only inches from yours.  He carefully takes the pizza slice from your hands. “I was eating that,” you whisper, your eyes dropping to his mouth. “I have something better,” he teases, before pressing his lips to yours.

Laying on the floor amidst the soft blankets and pillows, cradled against Bucky’s chest you watch the rain drops pitter patter against the sky light above you, the lights from the city dancing along the dark walls. The low rumble of distant thunder echoes through the quiet space as you trace small patterns along his bare skin.

“I love summer thunderstorms.” Bucky hums in agreement, his eyes closed and his head resting against one arm while the other holds you close. “Do you think we should tell my grandma our idea?” Bucky’s question catches you off guard and for a second, you’re unsure of what to say. “Well. I think your idea of doing our research and talking to some friends, like Sam, is a good way to start. Maybe after we have a more solid plan we can sit down and show her everything.”

He’s quiet for a few moments, the sound of his breathing and the city below all you hear now that the rain has stopped. “That seems smart. Sam will probably be a big help since he opened the bar at the beginning of the year. And I know he has some other friends in the restaurant business too.” You prop your head up on your elbow and he turns to face you. “Good idea! I like it,” you say, tracing over the stubble on his jaw.

Grabbing your waist, he rolls over and sits you on top of him, the blanket falling from your shoulders. “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” You gently roll your hips against him, smiling softly. “Oh Bucky.” The words fall from your lips with a quiet tenderness and the world falls away with every brush of his fingertips.

@aesthetical-bucky @auro-ora @azurika-writes @bugsbucky @buckys-broody-muffin @bucky-on-my-mind @book-dragon-13 @devynsdiary @eurynome827 @hiddles-rose @hailmary-yramliah @emilylyoness @hawksmagnolia @ikaris-whore @itsunclebucky @imgaril-lindru @jhangelface0523 @jewels2876 @loricameback @littledarlinhavefaithinme @littleredstarfish @mushyjellybeans @marvelandotherfandomimagines @marvelgirl7 @nano--raptor @randomfandompenguin @sallycanwait68 @softpeachbarnes @scarletsoldierrr @the-wayward-robot @when-the-hell-is-bucky @throwmyheartawayagain @flyawaybay @amandatar-06 @nd1998sc @captainchrisstan @vherriepie @godofplumsandthunder​ @fire-flv @jamesbarnesappreciationclub @irishflutiegirl​ @rinthehufflepuff​ @moonybarnes​ @nordlysinthewoods​ @inflxmes @lauratang​ @my-favorite-fics-and-imagines​ @buchanansebba​ @addikted-2-dopamine​

Fate and Fortune

Part 7 (holy shit)

A bit of a filler but I swear the next part is gonna get juicy- the way I write Jotaro is just painstakingly layered in non-verbal communication so it takes longer to describe.

Content Warnings: familial loss, it is the Strength card arc (harassment) some sea sickness but that’s about it

For the moots keeping up with my bs: @risottoneroo @fyre23

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6

“Vera?” Avdol’s voice rang on the other side of the metal door. “Are you alright?”

The concern was understandable- she wasn’t exactly used to sleeping in the top bench so when the ship took a particularly harsh hit she simply rolled off and with a loud thud landed on the floor. Too exhausted to move, she then simply pulled the blanket from the bottom bunk and tried to continue sleeping.

“I’m opening the door.” He warned before doing just that. The exasperated sigh that followed made her laugh to herself.

“What?”

“Vera, I was concerned you had hit your head.”

Once again she found herself taking his outstretched hand to get up, looking up at him with his hair half in and out of the signature buns atop his head made her laugh. “It’s an ungodly hour to still be working on your hair, don’t you think Avdol?”

“Oh and I suppose you’re willing to sacrifice your sleep for me?”

Vera dramatically held a hand over her heart like she was offended. “You think so ill of me, Avdol! After all that time of nightmares disturbing us both?”

She rose up from her blanket on the floor and with feign indifference fixed her pajama shirt. He only folded his hands over his chest, raising in an eyebrow at her in that same feigned annoyance.

“You can be so dramatic sometimes. Very well, Vera- could you please come help me tend to my hair?”

“Hmmmm, on one condition.”

“I’m listening.” He laughed.

“Just some fire from Magician for when I come back to bed, I’m cold.”

“That’s all?”

She nodded, strolling past him into the hallway, Avdol’s arms remaining crossed as he watched her wait all too happily outside in the hallway.

“Very well.”

Before Vera had as much control of her stand as she did, accidents were a common occurrence in Avdol’s house- Fortune being the cause but neither one of them noticing. One particular time, Avdol had burned just the tip of his finger on a stove top he believed had cooled down enough- using his usual hair care products in his hands annoyed him to no end. So she made him teach her.

Now she could do it with relative ease but the first time she did it, it was definitely a learning curve.

“I worry about you.” He had said as she was nearing the end of the last bun.

“Why? Because you find me on the floor with a blanket simply because I am too lazy to get back on the bed?”

“I’m more concerned for your nightmares. I haven’t seen you well rested ever since you came to Japan.”

She shrugged, knowing full well he couldn’t see. “You’re not wrong but there’s not much I can do.”

There was a stretch of silence and then, “What happens in your dreams? I’ve always been wary of asking you prying questions on the matter but perhaps speaking on it might help you resolve something deep within your soul.”

Vera’s hands shakily continued with Avdol’s strands, the lump in her throat growing bigger. “I dream of my mother, more than anything. I didn’t see my father’s face in death but my mother...”

With a shaky exhale she let the words pour out of her. “I never hear her, not like I hear my own screaming. I always just see her reaching out for me from the darkness- I’m always just a few inches short from reaching.”

She carefully wrapped the silk headdress over Avdol’s head, straightening out the little braid that ran down his back. “Embarrassingly, whenever I think of my father- the only face I see is yours.”

With a slight pat on the shoulder, like it would help him forget what she had said, Vera took her cigarettes from his bedside that she had brought and moved away towards the door.

Magician’s Red emerged from his user and offered a little flame in his hand. Fortune took the honor of taking it and with a smile she looked over at Avdol.

“You’re certainly an unexpected daughter, Vera... but I can’t think of a stronger person, even if I tried.”

“Thanks.”

And without adding any more sarcasm to ruin his good mood, Vera was off again back to her room, Fortune trailing behind with the little fire that seemed to warm her own hands in her pockets just as well.

The next morning she sat on the deck in the sun to get a better look at her bruised and splinter-filled leg.

For once it was Kakyoin using a metal tweezer to pull the splinters from her knee and shin- her head tipped over the backrest of the lounge chair she was seated on and a cigarette in her other hand.

“And you’re telling me it doesn’t hurt?” Noriaki laughed as he pulled a rather thick one out of the side of her shin.

“Of course it hurts but it feels more like an itch than stinging pain.” She answered, taking a drag and watching the smoke swirl up and dance with the subtle breeze around them.

“And you said it was from your fever?”

She threw her hands up, “Beats me- I just theorized that my nerve endings were burned half to death during the fever.”

Beside her, in her peripheral, she was watching as Jotaro’s eyes burned holes into Noriaki’s hand on her knee. He hadn’t ashed his cigarette in a while so she knew he was most certainly not casually smoking.

“And why is it that you refuse to heal yourself?”

Her attention returned to Noriaki. “Well for the most part, most of my injuries are from bad luck which is penance for manipulating fate. Also- I can’t revert my own luck. I can only move it forward under dire circumstances.”

Noriaki carefully disinfected the little holes literring her leg and had just finished wrapping up the ones still bleeding when a commotion below deck caught everyone’s attention.

Vera rose up and took hold of the first aid kit. She’d been trying to distract herself from the immense sea sickness that felt like a knife twisting in her gut but that last cigarette was the last straw.

On shaky legs she came to lean against the railing beside Jotaro, maybe a step too close for casual but she gazed up at him regardless. “I’m gonna take the first aid kit back- holler if you need me.”

He only gave a curt nod. She nodded right back, pushing off the railing and bumping into Jotaro in her disoriented state. He caught hold of her shoulder as she tried to regain her sense of direction.

“You look like shit.”

The comment probably shouldn’t have sparked so much anger in her but regardless she looked up at him and purposefully dropped the first aid box a hair width away from his foot.

“I’ll yack my breakfast out on you, Kujo. I’m well aware that I look like shit.”

With an angry shove away from him she pushed her way to the stair railing that led below deck. “Ms! Is everything alright?” One of the crewmate called from the bottom of the stairs and for once she was grateful to have someone help her down a flight of stairs.

She had just sat down in the captain’s quarters with a sigh when she looked down at the desk- a unopened letter with the Speedwagon Foundation seal lay on the top of a stack of paperwork. Her curiosity burned perhaps a bit brighter than it should have, so she let Fortune bring the letter to her hand- turning it around to see if it wasn’t open by any chance.

The letter was returned to the stack- after she realized it really wasn’t open- and then replaced by the piece of scribbled paper just below. At reading the name spelled in all capitals in the letter, her heart dropped to her already twisting stomach.

DIO.

“A false captain, huh?” Her eyes scanned the document further.

The sudden crash and tremors moving through the ship had her shoot up out of her seat and back towards the top of the deck. She was greeted my Mr Joestar’s wide eyes then slight relief. “Good, you’re not hurt- we’re evacuating the ship!” He announced to the crew.

“What? Why?”

“The captain was a fake- he’s gonna detonate the ship.”

She ran after him, trying to come up with a better solution than bobbing about on a dinghy. “Can’t we just find the bomb and I can delay the timer?”

Her duffel bag got put down right at her feet. “No time to look, ship’s too big.”

Internally, she was screaming as she picked up her duffel bag and ran to help grab the other guy’s bags as well before running up deck just in time to see them lowering the life boats.

It had been a few hours since they started aimlessly drifting in the water and Vera was losing her grip on whatever food had been pushing its way back up.

“I never understood when they said you become green when ill but I think I see it now.” Avdol joked from across the lifeboat from her.

The frantic laugh that left her lips had the whole crew watching as she pushed her head between her knees and think about solid ground and not the insistent bobbing of the waves around her.

“Funny joke, Avdol. Wanna lend me your robe?” She asked as she stuck a hand ahead of her.

Kakyoin’s hand rubbed soothing circles over her back, the subtle warmth on her back helping her ground herself. It was usually when Kakyoin as much as opened his mouth that Jotaro’s knee moved closer to her- the most subtle movement to bring himself closer to her. Vera couldn’t exactly complain- having his leg beside her helped her ground herself even more. But Noriaki, despite his flirtatious nature, was very careful not to move too close to her, even when she sat up, his shoulder rarely grazed hers- as if he was deliberately swaying himself away from touching her. Jotaro however, took his space freely- his arm was almost attached to hers and his knee only seemed to move away when he could tell Kakyoin was going to keep his distance.

So- in the name of gaining more grounding- she moved her other hand to extend across Noriaki’s lap. He seemed to get the message pretty quickly since he took hold of her extended hand, which was probably the ‘all clear’ signal for him since his knee moved against hers as well. Jotaro’s response was to lean his arms onto his lap- their arms touching once again.

“So which one of you are dating?”

Those words uttered by Anne was enough for Vera to end up feeling like the floor was ripped right under her. Both of the boys moved away from her, her head shooting up the overwhelmingly bright blue sky. Her eyes took a moment to adjust but there it was- another ship.

“We’re getting out of here!” She exclaimed.

Jinxed it.

Soon as she stepped on the stairs to the upper deck she stopped a moment. Jotaro was on the landing with her, watching her shakily bend at the knee to get closer to the water and rather undignifyingly let IT all out.

The strong hand on her shoulder came as a surprise though, as if holding her from falling forward into the water.

The handkerchief offered to her truly had her questioning if it was even Jotaro standing beside her. Did she miss something?

Without another word his hand left her shoulder and she stood up- now painfully unable to look him in the eye. He noticed just enough to give a huff of laughter before turning to walk up the stairs.

“Thanks.” She called back without looking back. Jotaro’s footsteps stopped for a moment.

“What did you say?” She could just hear the cockiness as he turned around on the step he was standing on.

Now this game she was not going to play. Vera spun around and walked up the stairs until she was one step below him, craning her neck to look up at him. “Thank you, Jotaro.” Her hand landed gently ontop of Jotaro’s hand holding the railing.

The smugness on his face slid off and was replaced by the same flat, stoic face with maybe a hint of surprise in the height of his eyebrows.

“Whatever.” He mumbled as he turned around and continued up the stairs.

On the upper deck she was asked to help Anne rinse off the saltwater in the bathrooms- she understood why but she was not into playing babysitter.

“You just had to jump onto a ship with a jean overall, huh kid?”

Vera ripped up one of her button ups along with the the last short in her duffel bag for Anne before standing guard at the bathroom.

Jotaro’s heavy step echoed through the hallway until he came into view and the first thing she asked was “Do you feel eyes on you?”

She’d say she started feeling as if she was being watched shortly after they saw that stupid orangutan sitting in its cage.

“I wouldn’t say eyes, but something does feel off.”

Vera leaned against the door frame, humming. They’d already had the suspicion that it could be a trap but the user would have made themselves known by now, wouldn’t they?

“Are you still sea sick?”

Her gaze trailed up at him, leaning across the hallway from her. He didn’t seem malicious in asking or even joking. The same stoic face looked back at her as he asked that.

“I feel a lot better but it’s kinda touch and go but thanks for asking.” It was probably the first time she didn’t answer with a bit that hint of sarcasm- instead answering him straight. The moment was gone the second a blood-curdling scream from the showers made her jump out of her skin and straight to where it was coming from.

Vera’s mind shut down at the sight of the orangutan holding her underwear, her duffel bag’s contents strewn over the floor of the bathroom and Anne cornered in a shower.

All discomfort she could ever have felt melted away in that moment and Fortune leapt forward faster than she’d ever seen her move. They had landed one good hit to the jaw, when the walls around her started to close in on her and her stand.

“What the hell?” She pushed against the metal boxing her in place with no success. “How the hell do you move like liquid in one moment and stay solid in the next.”

Out of desparation she brought Fortune back out and tried to push with her, the metal groaning in protest but not enough for her to get out.

When another scream on the other side sounded behind the metal walls separating them, desperation set in and she called out to Jotaro. “You boxed in?”

“Yeah. Any plans?”

“I’m gonna phase you in with her, you keep her safe- okay?”

She didn’t wait for an answer as she sent Fortune through the walls to where she’d guess Jotaro was and then dragging him through to the other side of the metal wall she heard the scream coming from. The walls started to cave in all around her, her arms starting to lose mobility the closer the walls crawled closer to her.

“To whoever’s stand this is, cop a good feel while you can motherfucker cause I’ll make sure you don’t have hands to feel with ever again!”

As she was about to attempt another struggle the walls seemed to slowly deflate like a balloon and on the other side was the busted up orangutan, Jotaro and Anne.

“Vera...” Anne started shakily as Jotaro almost marched with his back turned to them.

“It was the orangutan, the whole ship is his stand. We’ve gotta get off.”

She only listened with half an ear as she handed Anne the clothes she had originally intended for her to wear. Jotaro hastily grabbed her duffel bag and stuffed as much of her stuff in as he could before they booked it out of there- ending up right back where they started.

With Vera’s head between her knees trying to fight off the sea sickness.

Stargazing

Tags: minor character POV, Ruby-centric, samruby, one-shot, between season 3 and 4

Trigger warnings: mentions of blood and violence.

Author's Note: so. samruby. really quite insane if you're willing to think about it, right? there's so much to be explored, especially given that demons are just twisted human souls, which is SUCH a cool concept! which, of course, they barely explored. so here is my exploration of both samruby and this aspect of canon :)

// // // // // // // //

Sam went stargazing with Ruby, once.

Though, to say "went" implies that they weren't already out in the middle of nowhere. It just happened. One moment they were laying on a shitty mattress, relaxing into the softness of after, the next they were stumbling out into the field outside and falling into the grass. It was night, so the sweat on their bare skin cooled in place and chilled them but it was also summer, so they didn't mind it much. No one was there to complain about the mostly naked couple in the field, and both were too loose to really care.

The grass around them was soft and green with fresh growth, little bugs crawling up the dewy stalks that ended in wildflowers of all kinds. The beauty was not lost on Ruby, but all Sam's eyes registered was a sea of cool almost-black reaching like a thousand fingers up into the night sky. The sky itself was smoothly black but for the million billion pinpricks spread across, with the moon hanging achingly bright above. It was silent, for a moment, before Ruby spoke up.

"I missed this," She said it quietly, reverent and tentative and everything a demon shouldn't be. "There aren't any stars down there. It's just... redness and black smoke over top of it all. Just another way they try to break us."

She turned to see Sam's reaction, not really caring but looking to see anyway. Some soft, squishy part of her said she deserved to see the flinch as he thought about his brother. It was the same part that screamed she deserved whatever said brother would do to her for what she was doing to Sam. He didn't flinch; just turned to her with gentle eyes that shone black in the night, spangled with stars, just like hers. For a moment Ruby let herself feel as if they were equals, a righteous child being unwittingly prepared for a dark destiny and a demon reveling in and mourning her lost humanity, both laid low under the prairie's night sky.

"There's so many things. Things no one thinks about, that you take for granted that they use against you. Y'know... y'know the smell of rain? Petrichor, I think it's called? I missed it so badly. It rains down there. But... it's boiling or-or worms or blood, if they're feeling old fashioned, I guess." She looks to the side, reaches out to pluck something off the end of one of the stalks. It's a Black Eyed Susan which feels a little too on the nose, and besides. It's not hurting her. So she leaves it be and feels more words pouring from her, unbidden and tearing her up as they flow out, so she knows them to be true.

"And flowers. They have flowers but it's... they're not right, Sam, flowers aren't supposed to look like monsters and smell like corpses. It's... It's... they make you... they make you forget. All the tiny, beautiful things and they twist what you remember until you can't look at them the same, until you only remember that rain hurts and nature bites and the rest of the universe doesn't exist."

The tears are falling now, and for a moment her heart stops because they're hot and salty and she's facing the sky, so they must be falling from there. Her heart stops because that would mean she's back in hell and this was all a ruse, a new torture to get her in line by ripping apart her humanity, piece by piece. But it's not, she realizes, they're falling from her eyes.

She's crying.

Sam moves over, trampling grass as he does and she would be sad about that except now there's arms around her, holding her, tucking her into his chest, comforting her and fuck if that doesn't make her cry harder. This isn't sexual, nowhere close, and Ruby cannot bring herself to object because this is another one of the tiny, beautiful things they took from her. She can hear his infected heartbeat loud, solid, kind in her ear and it's a small, extra comfort Sam doesn't know he's providing. He does that, gives little pieces of himself to others as if they cost nothing, strings of kindness that just flow from every crevice uninhibited, encouraged. It's a bit warm for this, and they start sweating anew but it doesn't really matter because they stink like sex and sweat, anyway, and she can always lift her head to smell the fresh grassland air. This stench isn't oppressive, it's just human and there's nothing more beautiful than that in this moment.

"I'm sorry." Ruby feels him say it before she hears it, vibrating up his long neck and coming out deep and plaintive. She might've snapped, then, that she didn't want his pity. She didn't want to be looked at with dewy eyes and told she had been seen. But she did, so she cried harder and hoped he didn't misinterpret it.

He didn't.

"Thank you." She choked out. She didn't say "me, too", but it rang in the spaces between sounds anyway, hanging raw and bleeding between them.

They lay like that for hours, Sam drifting off at some point but Ruby stayed awake. A demon, she couldn't sleep, cursed forever with wakefulness like eyes peeled for danger, meant to protect you but it just drives you insane instead. Oddest of things, though, early in the morning in a field in Oklahoma, her eyes must've slipped closed and stayed that way because when she opened them again, the sun was rising. Ruby tried to be scared, but she knew it was just nature because in another life and another land, she was just a scared and sad little green witch, running from it all into the arms of a dark power that promised some of itself in return. She still felt connected to the earth and all its creatures, so they sung her to sleep, both of them heedless to the results of her plans. She woke up, and for moment felt human enough to watch the sunrise and think she deserved to see it and all the beautiful colors it created.

When the sun was high in the sky and she was tired of the day (which did not feel so kind as the night), she turned to her boyfriend, her savior, her job and woke him up gently.

"Rise and shine, Lazy Bones."

She shook him a bit, lightly, the pattern she knew would soothe him and he groaned a bit, something keening in the back of his throat.

"Yeah, I know. Up and at 'em."

Sam smiled a but at that, and she chose to believe it was her and not because he was thinking of Dean who seemed the kind of person that would say such a thing. She also chose to believe he wouldn't dismiss earlier out of hand as manipulation, looking at its mess as ugly and weeping, stripped bald in the light of day.

He didn't, though, is the thing. Even after Lucifer and the church, he didn't because he'd never seen a demon cry and, in the starlit night amongst flowers and cicadas, he knew his eyes had shone black, too. Even fake, that kinship felt right and even though the thought was unspeakably terrifying, he knew it to be true. He shared a moment of humanity with a demon, and it was beautiful.

My personal 2020 GOTYs

1) Hades

This game, dudes. THIS GAME. A fraction of the budget, a fraction of the dev team size, reportedly HEALTHY development schedule and management...and imo it offers at least some of everything I want out of a single player video game. I have poured over 60 hours into this and I see myself putting in some more over time and ALL of the time I have spent has felt rewarding and edifying. Clever design, smart writing, organic voice acting, sharp gameplay, and all done at a fraction of the resources of these big budget, bloated games. You love to see it.

2) Final Fantasy 7 Remake (Part 1?)

I went into this year not caring much about this game at all. FF7 was a game I played as a teen, enjoyed, respected, and moved on from pretty easily. This Remake, so far, has done more than I could’ve expected in terms of actually REMAKING a game. It’s literally a new adaptation, and I as pleasantly surprised at just how hard it went. From realizing the world of Midgar into something so full of detail and plausibility, to reiterating and doubling down on its postmodern anti-corporation themes, to making Barret the character I loved the MOST somehow?? Combining everything I love about real-time RPG action with a tactical strategy element long missing from the genre, reimagining and fleshing out characters and concepts into something deeper and more meaningful...I’ve never considered myself a huge FF7 fan but this game was really something, and I absolutely cannot wait for more (and praying they do my girl Yuffie justice). I’ve been super skeptical of Nomura as a director given...the mess that has become Kingdom Hearts, but as it turns out, when he has others to reign things in, some surprisingly nuanced stuff for an anime game can come out of it. It has its flaws, to be sure, but it’s still the most enjoyable experience I had with a big budget game this year.

3) The Last of Us Part 2

I feel conflicted over this one in particular - I feel Neil is not longer a director I respect the way I did back with the first game. I feel Naughty Dog is falling victim to all of the late capitalist issues plaguing big budget game dev. But I also love this game. It’s much more flawed than the first, but that’s mainly because it’s more ambitious and complicated. It’s THE most flawed game on this game, honestly, but overall as a game I am compelled to respect its writing, its gutsier decisions, its art direction, acting, presentation, etc. It’s an impressive game and the most technically impressive game I played all year if not all generation. Props where they’re due, but at the same time, I think this game was poorly directed and I love it in spite of issues with its production, rather than because of some strong vision. That’s the big Sony bucks, I suppose, matched with a dev team willing and apparently somehow able to fulfil what they want to create. I still get the impression there was a bit of ‘design by committee for a mainstream audience’ kind of shit going on - how could there not with something this big? - and as a result I think the game is a bit bloated. Shave off about 3-5 hours from a few spots and it’d be a more focused game, and maybe I’d feel more edified and satisfied rather than weirdly conflicted. Even so, a huge accomplishment and I hope to see more games tackle premises as ambitious as this down the road.

4) Bug Fables

This game technically launched last year but it debuted on console in 2020, and I didn’t play it until then. This is as close to a follow-up to old school Paper Mario as it gets, while simultaneously doing a lot to forge its own identity and even improve on the formula presented in the previous games. Its rough around the edges but that’s mainly because it’s an independent game, and it’s amazing just how well the dev team was able to reproduce the scope and details of this specific subgenre of RPG, all while continuously implementing new game design elements and multiple features that make it feel more modern in its direction. Fantastic stuff, I’m still not even finished with it because I’ve been taking my sweet time, though I intend to finally finish it this month, and I have to say, it’s quite a special game in my opinion.

5) Fall Guys: Ultimate Knockout

Absolute banger of a multiplayer game, really love the presentation, the concept, the overall execution, the way the team has been updating the game every month or so in response to feedback and implementing new content. So good to see the battle royale genre FINALLY pushed beyond just...arena shooting. Can’t wait to see where else this game can go over time.

6) Animal Crossing: New Horizons

Somehow this one slipped my mind when I first wrote this up, despite having poured well over 100 hours into it this year. I think part of it is that New Horizons did a lot of things I’ve wanted the series to do for so long, and yet is still far behind in terms of so many other things I wish they would do. Quality of life things prevent me from really re-investing into it, and yet despite that I have to admit it REALLY sucked me in for a solid few weeks and I continued to play off and on for months. It was the perfect game we collectively needed right when it came out and graphically I can’t think of how to really improve on that style. A really relaxing getaway I needed earlier this year, though like with previous AC games, I don’t find myself going back to it as much as I’d think I would.

7) Going Under

A surprise hit for me, this rogue-like swooped in from ‘heh that looks amusing’ to ‘oh wow this is legit just a great game.’ Its weird visuals, funky 3D gameplay, and surprisingly sharp storytelling make for a rogue-like unlike any other and one totally near the top for me.

8) Marvel’s Spider-Man: Miles Morales

Squeezed this in just this past week or so, and this one also satisfied me greatly. I wish we’d see more big budget open-world games like this -- laser focused, not wasting any time, and not being repetitious aside for completionists. So cool to see another team’s take on Miles after how much I fell for Into the Spider-verse, and very glad the team both homages that movie while subverting some expectations fans of the film might have, all while continuing to adapt Insomniac’s take on Spider-Man from a couple years ago.

9) Demon’s Souls (Remake)

As a big fan of FromSoft who never got too far into this one originally, it’s been great to visit it as if it’s a new Souls game with an alternate art style. And a very clean art style it has. This was a good pick to be remastered because many, even FromSoft fans like myself, missed out on it, and it feels unique from its predecessors while still showing a solid foundation they’d go on to build from.

10) Crash Bandicoot 4

An amazingly well done follow-up to the original trilogy, this game GETS what makes old school Crash games good, and it improves upon things in a number of ways, from making Coco the alternate hero, bringing back old faces in new lights, going ham with the visuals both in raw art and unique filters when replaying stages, and giving incentive for completion with so many great costumes. Well done, great old school platforming with modern design sensibilities. 

Honorable Mentions:

CrossCode

This also technically launched before 2020 but I didn’t play it until this year, and I don’t think it hit consoles until this year. I wasn’t exactly sure what to expect going in, just remembering that I had enjoyed the demo well enough. This game delivers in most ways you could want from an indie game, with an expansive world of sidequests and RPG growth, a flexible combat system that can be nailbiting and engaging, and old-school dungeon designs with lots of environmental and elemental puzzles that really ask a lot of you. All of this capped with a surprisingly great narrative with characters I grew to love, including a much needed protagonist with a unique identity unlike any in games that I’ve played, as well as extra bits of detail and production values invested at JUST the right moments where the story needs it the most. It feels a bit tedious at times and part of me wishes more of the sidequest content involved direct interactions with the named, recurring characters, but it’s still one of the most impressive and well-done indie games I’ve ever played.

Katana ZERO

Razor-sharp game design, this one. It’s a brief but intensely focused experience that feels like the video game equivalent of a slick, experimental indie film. Could do with some more replayablity for those who want it but what’s here is just damn good and I gobbled this game down like a fantastic, hand-cooked meal at an atmospheric dive bar barely anyone knows about.

Necrobarista

Haven’t quite finished it yet but this is definitely one of the best visual novels I’ve ever experienced just due to how hard it goes on presentation and pushing for a more cinematic and thoughtful vibe than any other VN I’ve ever experienced. The characters and writing feel ripped out of an early 2000′s webcomic, for better and for worse, but all the same, it’s some fantastic stuff and it’s so refreshing to see a game set in Australia tackling a well-worn genre by giving it a new spin.

Slay the Spire

Another personal pick since this released in 2019, and I’m not quite sure which consoles it hit or when, but I didn’t get into it until early this year, and was totally hooked. Fantastically addictive, probably the most well-design deck-building rogue-like I’ve seen, certainly one of my favorite deck-building games in general. Apparently I’ve sunk 50 hours into it this year, more than most on this list, and I wouldn’t be surprised if that number spikes up again at some point.

Know any good co-op games? My friend and I just finished Divinity 1 and 2 and we need a new game to play. Bonus points if its an RPG. I tried to get her into borderlands but she thought it was boring 😆

she thought BORDERLANDS was BORING? oh boy okay. i admit i’m not into the divinity series bc i don’t like turn-based, but i’ll rec you some stuff i’ve been playing w my girlfriend and friends recently! 

we were here series - my girlfriend and i LOVE puzzle games, and we just played through the entire series (we were here, we were here too, and we were here together) and they’re incredibly fun and challenging. basically, you and your friend have to work together using the information around you (often you’re separated) to escape a castle in the middle of the arctic. if you’re into problem-solving and puzzles and mystery, definitely give them a shot. 

honorable mention goes to tick tock: a tale for two, which was also fun, but much less complex. 

risk of rain 2 - this is early access, not an rpg, rogue-lite but INCREDIBLY fun and you can easily pour hours into it. up to 4 player co-op, you basically pick a class and get dropped into a map with random types of lootboxes that you buy for random buffs as you generate coins from killing enemies. the longer you go, the harder it gets, but you keep accumulating items, drones, etc to assist you. it’s very chaotic but so much fun. 

diablo 3 - my friends and i got back into this recently, and the story is good if you’ve never played it, and the multiplayer is a lot of fun too. (i very heavily prefer loot-based or games with high levels of customization). it’s been out for a long time but honestly, it’s still a solid game, and endless hours of content. i never played 1 or 2 and had no problem jumping into 3.

borderlands 3 - just skip to this one. my girlfriend and i are like level 25 in our own game but enjoy it so much we started over with some other friends like two days ago lol

temtem is a pokemon knock-off, but co-op! we played this one obsessively for like two weeks (which is our standard, really) before moving on to something else, but i loved the temtems and battling system.

destiny 2 - the destiny series owns my heart, and we’re going to get back into it soon, but if you’ve never played, the story and world is incredible. destiny literally owns my soul. 

kingdom: two crowns if you want something beautiful and slower-paced. i love kingdom, it has a gorgeous pixel art style and great soundtrack, but basically it’s a side-scroller when you and your friend both build up a kingdom from the ground up while attempting to protect it from the “greed.” very simple conceptually, but it does end up providing a challenge and you do need to be careful how you build and how you spend your money - and once you build up far enough, you sail to a new island, build a new kingdom, but you unlock different mounts, different buildings, etc as you go. 

7 days to die - my gf and i have played this for over 200 hours or something. it’s also not an rpg, sorry, it’s survival/base building/etc in a zombie apocalypse, but no survival game holds a candle to 7 days and we are obsessed with it. we’re waiting for alpha 19 to come out and every day we check their twitter for news. even if you’re not into games like this normally, for whatever reason, everyone i’ve introduced to it always has a great time. 

that’s all for now as i must get on xbox for diablo 3 time (which is my nightly ritual with @rambeauregard) ;)

What Friends Are For

Author’s Note: I was going to skip over this chapter, but then as I was writing it, it gave me warm feels thinking about what an amazing thing a friend can be in your life. Claire has had a rough go of things, and I wanted to make sure that she had some people she could count on, so, here we are. This might be a personal piece, you might not find it necessary, but i promise more action and CERTAINLY more steam in the next chapter. 

No warnings, just pure friend love. :) 

tagging: @sleepwalkingelite @zaffrenotes @notoriouscs @gardeningourmet @natalievgoodehenry @nekkidmolerat @ooo-barff-ooo  if you would like to be added please let me know! 

After the hustle and bustle of her first few days in Cordonia, Claire was glad to have some time to herself this week in between events. The races had been Tuesday, and although they had started early in the afternoon, and the last race had concluded by 3pm, the tea party and festivities that followed went well into the evening. Claire hadn’t gotten back that night until nearly midnight, and had slept most of the next morning away; the jet lag, adrenaline and excitement finally wearing her down. It was Thursday afternoon now, and Claire was relaxing in her room curled up in the window seat with a notebook and pen, doodling and writing while music played from the phone in her lap and rain lightly tapped on the window panes. She smiled to herself, sinking a little more into the cushioned seat, as she thought about where she’d normally be right about now: in the bar cooler, mopping out all the spilled beer around the kegs and hauling six packs and crates from the stock room. Instead she was resting up and turning in early before the long trek to Lythikos in the morning.

The phone in her lap glowed and buzzed and she nearly fell out of the window seat as she threw her notebook aside to answer it. She'd been waiting for this chance since she got home from the races on Tuesday. She'd even blocked time off from Maxwell and Bertrand's rigorous etiquette training, which she'd agreed to as even though she wasn't trying to win Liam's heart, fuck, still have to have that chat with Max..., she didn't want to make a fool out of herself at every dinner and ball for the next three months. They'd protested at first, of course, but she'd furrowed her eyebrows at them and set them with the look that she used to give customers when they were getting out of line and, not unlike her patrons at the bar, it had worked.

“Hello? Daniel?” she answered the phone with a big, dumb grin.

“Hey! There's my world traveler! I have so, so, so many questions!”

Claire laughed, bringing her free hand up to her forehead. “You and me both, Dan. Are you on your 15 or did you just run out on a fake smoke break? How much time do you have?”

“I'm on my 15 so don't hold back,” he answered.

“Okay, well I'm going to start by making the long story short, and that's this: I am stupidly, definitely, and completely falling for this grumpy, impossible to read, Cordonian guy and I don't think there's anything I can do about it.” She let out a breath. “I mean, I got on a plane and crossed an ocean to come after this guy that I met one time, under the guise of freaking competing for a chance to marry the crown freaking prince. That's got to be the craziest thing anyone's ever done! I mean, right? I'm nuts, right? I am.”

Daniel laughed. “You know what, maybe. But, hey!” she was trying to cut him off. He laughed over her. “No! Hey! Let me finish!” he said and she obliged. “As I was saying before being so rudely interrupted, maybe it's not crazy.”

“Okay, you know what, you are supposed to be the voice of reason here, Dan.” she was feigning disappointment with his reaction.

“Well, maybe I'm tired of being the cynical sidekick. Maybe it's time my cold, black, coffee fueled heart learned to let love in. I'm trying baby steps here by being supportive of your insanity.” she could hear the sarcastic smirk in his voice, even though she knew he was being serious.

“Well alert the presses that the jaded Mr. Quinn has grown a soul, ladies and gents!” she teased. She was glad though, if this was truly how Daniel felt. He'd always been closed off about relationships, never really getting close to anyone, just like her. It was time for both of them to try for something solid, even if it felt a little crazy.

“Ha, ha, ha. If you were here right now I'd chuck an ice cube at you. So tell me about this fairy tale guy of yours.”

Claire rolled her eyes, hoping he could tell. “Well he's hardly a fairy tale, I mean, this is still me we're talking about here, so he's rough around the edges and snarky...but...” she trailed off and felt heat rush throughout her as she thought of the two kisses that they'd shared, the second with almost double the intensity of the first.

“But what? Don't leave me hanging here?”

“But he is the best fucking kisser in the world. Daniel, I swear to any and all gods it's true.”

Daniel burst out laughing. “Well hey there's a perk!”

“And there's something else too...it's like I feel drawn to him. Almost like I feel like I already know him...it's...intense. Kinda scary...” it was, if she was being honest with herself. As much as she was soaring from the way their lips had met and the way his body had felt so close to hers, she was terrified. The last time she'd thought she'd felt this way about someone was with Alex, and she'd never been more wrong about anything in her life.

Sensing what she was feeling as if there weren't 7 hours and thousands of miles between them. “Claire, scary how? Scary like Alex?” she heard the concern in his voice, and rightfully so. He'd dealt with Alex for as long as she had.

“No,” she said firmly, truly believing that Drake wasn't an abusive man. “I just mean...what if I'm wrong and my heart ends up broken, but it's broken because I flung it out the window of a private jet while we were cruising at altitude?”

“Claire.” he said her name with finality and it broke her out of her spiral. “Stop. Just...trust yourself okay? You are the bravest person I know. Trust in that.”

She leaned her forehead against the cool glass of the window. “Thanks, Daniel,” she whispered. He always knew what she needed to hear. Then, something he'd said went off in her head like a trigger. “Hey, by the way...you mentioned Alex...”

There was silence on the other end. Finally, Daniel's voice came back, resolute, “I know. Today was his probationary hearing. He's out.”

“Hey, just, be careful, okay? Just...if that psycho even comes near you just...” she had started shaking without noticing.

“I will.” he promised, and it wasn't enough to erase her fears, but she knew it was all she was getting. She was glad that

“Okay.”

“Okay. Enough about that scumbag. What's next for you over in wonderland?”

“It's Cordonia,”she said, knowing full well that she'd mentioned the country's name at least six times to him since she'd left New York, “and we're going to a place called Lythikos tomorrow, this super serious duchess named Olivia is hosting.”

“And is your dream man going?”

“I'm regretting telling you anything. Yes, Drake is going.” she felt her heart grow warm just saying that out loud.

“Well kid, have a great time. I have to get going. New girl's probably crashing and burning in there.” she could hear him smirking.

“Yeah, get back in there and save the day,” she played along. “But hey, thanks for calling. I miss you.”

“Don't mention it, Claire. You know I'm here for you no matter what.”

“I know. No matter what.”

They said good bye and Claire picked up the notebook and pen that she'd cast aside when Daniel's phone call had come in. Black ink flowers scrawled across the top of the page, her thoughts poured out below them. Stretching and yawning she moved to the foot of the bed where Maxwell had dropped off a packed bag for her trip to Lythikos; apparently it was in the far reaches of the North, in a mountain range that had year ‘round snow, so the bag included warm scarves, a coat and boots. She tucked the journal into the bag so that she’d have it with her; she always had it with her. She’d begun journaling after her mother passed away as a way to get her thoughts out of her head so they couldn’t fester in there. It helped a little, but as she suspected, some things, some thoughts, were more difficult to remove. She’d tried to write down every confusing, exciting and terrifying thought or feeling that she’d had about Drake, about coming to Cordonia…about Alex, but there were plenty still rolling around in there, even after her chat with Daniel.

A knock on her door made her jump; aside from Maxwell, and as of this morning his brother Bertrand, no one came knocking on her door. She slid her feet into her slippers and padded over to the door. Opening it, she was surprised to see the smiling face of Lady Hana.

“Hi, Lady Claire,” she beamed.

“Hi, Hana, please like I’ve been telling everyone, drop the ‘lady.’” She smiled warmly and saw her smile reflected back from Hana.

“You can do the same with me,” she responded. “Proper etiquette can certainly feel impersonal, can’t it?”

Claire nodded. “Yes. And in my case, also highly unnecessary. Would you like to come in?” She moved aside and allowed Hana into her room.

“Thank you,” she floated in, her pink dress flowing about her ankles. Claire looked down at her own dressed down appearance; grey sweat pants and an oversized t shirt that said “I <3 NY Bagels”. She internally noted for the 10,000th time how odd it was that she’d ended up here.  

“So, what brings you by, Hana?” Claire asked, shutting the door behind her as Hana took a seat on the bench at the foot of the bed.

“Oh! I really don’t want to bother you, I-“her eyes widened.

“It’s no bother, Hana, I wouldn’t have let you in if I didn’t want to.”

The look on Hana’s face made it clear that she had no idea what it was like to only do things that you wanted. Claire felt a pang of pity for Hana and all of the ladies at court in this regard. “Oh, well, in that case, thank you!” she squeaked. She hesitated, running the gauzy top layer of fabric from her dress through her fingers. Claire came and took a seat next to her. “So, I…I feel like I can trust you, Claire. I feel like you’re…different from the rest of them.”

“I am, and you can. I’m Irish; I can keep a secret and hold a grudge.” She winked. “And honestly, I feel the same way about you. Something just told me we’d be friends. I don’t have many friends…none, really, aside from my friend Dan back home, but he’s more like an annoying twin brother than a friend really… anyway, my point is,” she softened her voice and gave Hana a comforting look, “I’d like it if we could be friends. This whole thing, this place,” she gestured generally at her surroundings, “can be a lot on your own.” Wanting friends? What is this place doing to me? Claire mused.

Hana’s look of appreciation could not be more apparent. “It really can,” she sighed, “especially when…” her eyes went to the door as if double checking that it was indeed closed. “Especially when you have no interest in courting the prince, but your family has pinned all of their hopes to you doing just that.”

“Oh, Hana, you couldn’t have known but you came to the exact right person…Er, not about the parents thing… that’s a pressure that I’ll never know.” Claire felt a twinge of heartache thinking about her parents, but decided that Hana could learn about them another day. “But, if I’m being honest, I’m not here for Liam, either.” Claire went on to share with Hana her feelings for Drake and everything that had transpired between them since she’d gotten here. Hana confided in Claire about the pressures that her parents had heaped upon her, as well as the biggest secret that she’d ever kept from them; Hana was a lesbian.

“Listen, Hana, You are who you are, and you love who you love. Your parents can’t change that no matter how hard they try, so my advice is don’t change for them. I’m here for you, and I’m sure if you spoke honestly with Liam about it, he would understand- if you’re ready to, of course.”

Hana sighed. “Thanks, Claire. I’m not sure what I’m ready for. It took me two days to get the confidence to talk to you about it. I just…I know that you come from the real world and that you’d understand. Even if no one else does…I just needed one person to understand.” She looked down at her lap.

“Hey, you know what? Let’s have a girl’s night. It’s been a million years since I’ve had anyone that I wanted to have a girl’s night with, and I can’t think of a better time.”

Hana perked up. “That…sounds fun. What is a girl’s night?”

Claire got up and opened the large cabinet across from the bed to reveal a T.V. She took the big , fluffy blanket from the window seat and spread it out on the bed. Sitting on the bed, she patted the mattress next to her and Hana jumped up to sit with her. “This is a girl’s night,” she said, flicking the television on, changing the channels until she found a sappy romantic movie. “We are going to watch this movie and talk about embarrassing crap and about crushes and you’re going to braid my hair, and I’m going to paint your nails.”

Hana beamed and, without warning, threw her thin arms around Claire and hugged tightly. “Claire, you might very well be my first real girl friend.”

Claire considered her words for a moment. Suddenly overcome with emotion, she choked back a tear. “You are definitely mine,” she said, truthfully.

The night passed in giggles and tears, secrets shared and embarrassing moments revealed. After the third movie they’d both fallen asleep sprawled out on Claire’s bed. Tomorrow would be a day full of travel capped off with their arrival at the standoffish Duchess Olivia’s home and more structured courtly events and rules to follow, but tonight was a night of friendship; a night that Claire and Hana had been denied for far too long.

“We are but strangers in a foreign land waiting to go back home.”  (credit: Allah-is-never-far)

THE MATERIALIST VERSUS THE SPIRITUAL POINT OF VIEW

In every society, at every time, people who believe only in this temporary material life have argued against the existence of an afterlife. Many have used such arguments as an excuse for doing whatever they like. The Qur’an is full of references to such people.

And they say, “When we are bones and fragments, shall we really be resurrected again as a new creation?” Say, [0 Muhammad:] «[Yes,] even if you are stones or iron, or a created thing that is even greater than that in your estimation.” They will say, “Who will bring us back to life?” Say: “The One who created you the first time. » Then they will shake their heads at you and say, “When will it be?” Say: «Perhaps it is near.»

(Qur’an 17:49–51; also 17:98; 19:66–67; 34:7; 36:78–79; 37:1517)

Those who disbelieve imagine that they will not be raised again. Say, [0 Muhammad:] «On the contrary, by my Lord! You shall be raised again, and then you will be informed of what you did. And that is easy for my Lord.” (Qur’an 64:7)

The arguments of such people have no basis in logic, for God, who creates and destroys, can just as easily recreate. He can also change the attributes and forms of His creation as He wills-as, for example, water changes from a liquid to a solid or a gas. In the same fashion, a body can cease to possess the characteristics of life and apparently become a piece of inert matter. But there is no proof whatsoever that this finishes the existence of the occupant of that body, the soul.

The collective spiritual experience of mankind attests to the fact that the former ‘tenant’ has now vacated its former home and gone somewhere else-or, to put it in different terms, has been transformed into another form of energy. Therefore, God’s supremely logical answer to the materialists’ question, “When I am dead, shall I really be brought forth alive?” is, “Does not the human being remember that We created him before, when he was nothing?” (Qur’an 19:66–67).

THE LAST DAY, THE RESURRECTION AND THE JUDGMENT

In many verses of the Qur’an such as the above, God, who knows everything there is to know about His creation, denies the claim of the materialists that death constitutes the final, absolute end of our existence. For our perishable, material bodies, it does, of course, but for our immortal souls, this present life is only one brief stage on its journey from God to God. And our Lord informs us repeatedly that our temporary life on this earth is merely a trial, a test, an examination period. For what? To prepare ourselves for the future life of endless duration.

In this life, each hour, each day, we are faced with individual tests whose combined results will determine our future happiness or suffering. For each of us, death will mark the ending of our personal exam. It will be followed by the Day of Resurrection and Judgment, whose coming is as certain as the fact that we are alive.

Be mindful of a Day on which you will return to God. Then each soul will be recompensed for whatever it earned, and they shall not be wronged. ( Qur’an 2:281; also 2:48, 123; 3:9–10, 25, 185; 4:87; 6:12; 10:45, 11:08, 103; 16:111 and dozens of other verses)

No one except God knows when that Day will come. But what is certain is that, as the universe had a beginning, it will also have an end.

The analogy of the life of this world is only like water. We send it down from the sky and then mingle it with the produce of the earth, from which people and cattle eat; until, when the earth has put on its ornaments and is embellished, and its people think that they have all power over it, Our command reaches it by night or by day, whereupon We cause it to be utterly destroyed, as if it had not flourished the previous day. Thus do We explain the signs for people who reflect. (Qur’an 10:24)

This end will take place in a manner frightful beyond imagination, and at that time every living thing on earth will die.

When the Trumpet will be blown with a single blowing, and the earth and the mountains will be lifted up and crushed with a single crushing -then, on that Day, the Event will befall; and the sky will be split apart, for on that Day it will be torn, and the angels will be on its sides; and on that Day eight angels will carry the Throne of your Lord above them. That Day on which you will be brought to judgment, not a secret of yours will be hidden. (Qur’an 69:13–18)

When the sky is shattered and when the seas are poured forth and when the graves are overturned, a soul will know what it sent on ahead and what it left behind. (Qur’an 82:1–5; also 81:1–14)

At that time, the dead will be raised and their newly recreated bodies will be rejoined with their souls. And the Judgment will take place.

Each of us will be shown the book of our life’s deeds, recorded by our two companion angels. None of us will be able to deny the truthfulness of the record or to make any excuses. The record will be final, closed and unchangeable, and we will be judged accordingly, as our good and bad deeds are weighed against each other in a perfectly just scale.

The weighing that Day will be true. Then those whose scale [of goodness] is heavy, they will be the successful, and those whose scale is light, they will be the ones who will have lost their souls because they acted wrongly with regard to Our revelations. (Qur’an 7:8–9)

We have tied each person’s destiny to his neck, and on the Day of Resurrection We shall bring forth for him a book which he will find wide open, [saying,] “Read your book! This Day your soul is sufficient as an accountant against yourself” (Qur’an 17:13–14)

And whoever does an atom’s weight of good shall see it, and whoever does an atom’s weight of evil shall see it. (Qur’an 99:7–8)

The verses of the Qur’an dealing with these matters are extremely numerous. Their tone is dead earnest, conveying total certainty. The effect of their message, stated and restated again and again, is to produce a conviction in the heart of the listener/reader of the absolute truth of what is being said. For example:

The Day on which the sky will become like molten copper and the mountains will become like shreds of wool, and no close friend will ask of a friend, although they will see one another-the guilty one will long to ransom himself from the punishment of that Day through his children and his spouse and his brother and his relatives who sheltered him. By no means! It is the fire of Hell, plucking away to the skull, calling to those who turn their backs [on the truth] and turn away [from goodness], and collect and withhold [their wealth from doing good with it]. (Qur’an 70:8–18)

The Day when the Trumpet is blown, whosoever is in the heavens and whosoever is on the earth will be terrified, excepting the one whom God wills. And all will come to Him humble . … Whoever brings a good deed, he will have better than it, and whoever brings an evil deed, they will be thrown down on their faces in the Fire. Are you recompensed with anything other than what you did? (Qur’an 27:87,89–90; also 17:97)

o mankind, be mindful of God and fear a Day when no father will make the least compensation for his son, nor will any son make compensation for his father. God’s promise is surely true. Then do not let the life of this world deceive you, nor let the Deceiver [Satan] deceive you concerning God. (Qur’an 31:33)

Know that this worldly life is no more than play, amusement, luxury, mutual boasting, and competition in wealth and children. This is like rain that causes plants to grow, to the delight of the planters. But later the plants dry up and you see them wither, then they are reduced to chaff. the life of this world is no more than the delusion of enjoyment. —Quran 57:20

This worldly life is no more than play and amusement. But the Hereafter is indeed the real life, if only they knew. — Quran 29:64

source: Suzanne Haneef, Islam: The Path of God, pages 59–63.

Suzanne Haneef is an American convert to Islam.

PDF: http://www.islamicbulletin.org/free_downloads/new_muslim/islam_the_path.pdf

read online: https://www.slideshare.net/FatimaKarim3/book-islamthe-path-of-god-suzanne-haneef-pdf

The 3 most difficult questions I’ve ever been asked: What is the meaning of life? Do you know how to file taxes? And, why medicine?

For anyone going into a career in medicine, you can never escape, why medicine? To be fair, it’s a solid, more or less appropriate question. If you are going to dedicate years and years of your life, pouring blood, sweat, and tears into studying, late nights, and countless moments of self-doubt… you know what you signed up for.

Sounds kind of dreary, doesn’t it? Like I am ready to sell my soul. To be honest, if it came down to that, I probably would. This is a question I love to answer but at the same time, feel that oncoming dread and dead weight when it’s asked. Is there any better reason to go into medicine than to save lives and use your healing hands for the ultimate good of the people? To be the hero that everyone needs and loves? Well, duh. Seems like the “right” answer, but is it really that simple?

Maybe it is too obvious; medical schools seem to think so. Of course you want to help others, what else would you expect of a doctor? When I think about this loaded question, there is a lot to consider. What’s the recipe to make an exceptional doctor? The first words someone might say are: dedication, compassion, and selflessness. I never gave it much thought as a kid; my pediatrician was kind and just wanted to help me. I thought that was all it took.

When I turned 8 and starting experiencing more health problems and seeing multiple physicians at any one given time, I began to realize it might take a bit more than kindness and hard work to be the kind of doctor that can connect with their patient and give them the best healthcare.

I was seeing a doctor for an esophageal sphincter issue in my stomach. For those of you who aren’t familiar with anatomy, the esophageal sphincter, sits towards the upper opening of the stomach. It helps with controlling food entering the stomach and then keeping the digested food from coming back up. Mine, for some reason or another would not open and close properly and it became hard to keep food down any time I would eat. At the time, I was seeing this very kind, sweet woman who helped me understand why I needed to get more diagnostic tests and why I had to visit the hospital so much. She made me feel safe. I began to love her. She made every test I had to go through seem fun and not one bit scary. One day she told me that she would not see me for a couple months since she decided she was going to be a part of Doctors without Borders and treat patients free of charge. I was blown away. Someone could be that selfless? A wave of awe and inspiration swept over me. As an 8 yr. old kid, I firmly decided right then: I am going to be a doctor.

As one of the first moments of my life I can remember, I was inspired and knew I was destined to be great. This was the first time I found another component of what made a doctor great: selflessness. As the years go by, I have had physicians who were great and some who were not. Some physicians, even if they were so knowledgeable in their practice, I felt they were not the physician I wanted or who genuinely cared about me and my health.

I noticed more and more growing up, that unfortunately some physicians care more that they know more than you. This brings me back to a long, dreary, upsetting night junior year in high school, circa 2013. I was stuck on bed rest after having an angioplasty procedure on my kidneys. I have renal artery stenosis, a condition where my renal (kidney) artery was narrowed due to an abnormality in tissue/muscle growth (fibro-muscular dysplasia). The procedure was not an invasive one, however, sending a catheter up my thigh to my artery to blow up a balloon which widened the artery was rough on me. I was visited by the senior resident doctor; you could tell she was a more seasoned physician. She was not as finicky as the medical students and she had this cool, collected air about her. Mind you, I’ve already been poked and prodded for constant blood draws every half hour and I was exhausted. Coldly, with no emotion, just this dead stare, she asked me how I was. I told her the pain I was feeling and how it was farther away from the incision site; how it was so odd. She looked beside herself and claimed I didn’t know what I was talking about, like how could I? I didn’t go to school as long as she did and she supposedly knew everything that was right or wrong. My heart dropped. I felt discouraged. Hurt. Disregarded. Confused.

How could a physician tell me my pain was not real? That it was made up? Really? I’m pretty sure I felt that sharp pain in my lower back and hips. Give me that wellness chart, I’ll point straight to the pain scale at a 10, with that super unhappy face. Empathy. Understanding. That’s all I wanted and what any patient would ask for. This was another ingredient I could add to my growing list to become my ideal physician. Let’s recap! We want… a cup of dedication and hard work, a cup or two of compassion, and a generous dash of selflessness and empathy.

Skip a few years and at this point in time, I’ve been accepted to a great school, University of Washington Bothell, working towards a molecular biology degree while completing pre-requisites for medical school. Even with the bad experiences at the hospital that night, I still had the most drive of all my friends to keep going; despite all the difficult coursework (and the many more to go). Up until this point, all I could answer as to why I want to be a doctor is that I want to be a selfless, empathetic, compassionate individual who wanted to make a difference in the world and work diligently to save lives.

But present day me realizes my answer has yet again changed. It wasn’t that the ingredients to the perfect, exceptional doctor had changed, it was the realization of what I could do and what I was able to do with the medical degree once I received it.

It’s 2018 and by this time I have done an amazing internship with the COPE Health Scholar Program at Swedish Medical Center in Issaquah and a shadowing fellowship program with Atlantis Fellowships in Madrid, Spain. I was finally able to see the clinical side of things, from the physician and healthcare team perspective, rather than the patient perspective. I have seen some incredible procedures and at the same time, I was able to observe different healthcare systems and the true inner workings of a hospital.

Throughout my rotations at Swedish Issaquah, I learned standard hospital policies, and of course the different codes on the floor. Blue: Patient needs resuscitation. Amber: Missing child. Gray: Aggressive person. Red, orange, etc. What I was most fascinated about though, despite surgical and other medical procedures, was the interactions among staff and interactions between staff and the patient and their family.

There was a unique incident between a physician and their patient. This physician had two patients with Alzheimer’s and was rounding on these two patients in the ICU. I was passing by the patient’s room, doing rounds as well and logging vital signs for the entire floor when I heard something along the lines of, “You don’t know anything! I’m the one who’s the doctor, just listen to what I say. Let me do my job and fix you”. I was shocked, not only because that was unprofessional, it was way out of line. As a frequent patient myself and that one incident years ago, I felt the patient’s pain; their shock. I walked in a bit after, nodding to the patient and gave their hand a comforting squeeze. I did not have Alzheimer’s, but I can understand from a disabled person’s perspective. No two patients with the same condition will ever share the same exact experiences, whether it be medically or emotionally. Their pain, feelings, and experiences are real. No one is allowed to tell you your experience is unimportant.

What bothers me the most about this incident and healthcare in general is, “let me fix you”. For that patient and for myself with my renal condition, I have fully accepted that this condition is what I live with. My condition is not life-threatening and even if it came to be, I have come to terms with it. I am not a problem. Tell me how to cope with it and manage it day to day. It’s still astounding to me that physicians cannot and will not look past the medical chart. How are we as patients supposed to put trust in our healthcare team when all they see first is what’s on the chart? To see my condition and disability first without knowing me? If a patient cannot put their full trust in you to share every symptom and experience, no matter how phenomenal a physician you are, you will not be able to give the best care for your patient.

It takes so much to be a doctor. There are so many expectations, and even more demands. I think for the most part people can understand that. But when it comes to the question of “Why medicine?”, it does not elicit one, singular reason. As I grew up and began my undergraduate studies with hospital visits sprinkled here and there, I have so many greater reasons to “why medicine”. Yes, without a doubt I want to help people. No question. But I want to help them by being the empathetic, selfless, kind, and genuine person who wants to stand by their side in their darkest and bleakest times; to be their pillar. I also want to be the doctor who works towards a more collaborative healthcare team, putting hospital politics and egos aside; reminding myself and my team that the patient comes first. I may not be a doctor yet, but I am 100% positive I know what it takes to be a great one.

Chocolate Heart Cake-Gâteau

🎂

Chocolate Heart Gâteau-Chocolate Heart KOK 

By Greek Cooking Made Easy

https://www.youtube.com/greekcookingmadeeasy

Check my YouTube Video: Here

Κοιτάξτε επίσης την συνταγή μου σε YoTube βίντεο, το λίνκ είναι: ΕΔΩ.

Serves 7-8 persons

This Chocolate Heart Cake Gâteau is my very own recipe for an indulging, decadent, moist Chocolate Cake with Chocolate frosting. When I first made it, I received so many Wows & compliments and requests for the recipe. So after a long wait, HERE it finally is.

And just in time to celebrate Valentine's day making this as a special dessert. However, it could well be served @ your kids' birthday with another decoration. An incredible cake based on the Greek recipe for chocolate KOK! Enjoy! Suitable for lacto-Ovo Vegetarians. The recipe is not hard but it has 4 sections. Follow my tips, if you want to do it in stages.

Ingredients:

1. Sponge Cake Base:

3 Medium Eggs (@room temp)

60 gr. / 2 oz / 0.5 cup Self-rising Flour

1 tsp. Salt

8 gr. or 2 tsp. Vanilla Sugar (Essence)

100 gr. / 3.5 oz / 0.4 cup Sugar

15 gr. / 0.5 oz Corn Flour

A "Heart" Cake Tray 17 cm / 6.7 in max. diameter

2. Chocolate Filling:

120 gr. / 4.2 oz Butter or Margarine (@room temp)

200 gr. / 7 oz / 1.25 cup Icing (Powder) Sugar

35 gr. / 1.2 oz / 0.35 cup Cocoa Powder

1 tsp. Vanilla Extract

2-3 tbsp. Whipping Cream 35% fat

3. Syrup:

120 gr. / 4.2 oz / a bit more than 1/2 cup Sugar

120 ml. or 0.5 cup Water

1 tsp. Lemon Juice

4. Chocolate Glaze

120 gr. / 4.2 oz Chocolate bar 60% cocoa

125 gr. / 4.4 oz / a  it more than 0.5 cup Whipping Cream 35% fat

1 tsp. Margarine

100 gr. / 3.5 oz Chocolate Sprinkles

Other decorative items

Method:

1-Start with the Sponge cake base: 

Using a strong electric mixer, crack the 3 eggs and start beating them. Add the sugar and the vanilla essence.

Beat the egg-sugar mix on high speed for 5'-6' or until it becomes white, forms soft peaks and it's fluffy. Then stop the mixer. Using a sieve, sprinkle on top of the mix the salt and corn flour.

Gradually add the flour. Blend gently with a spatula (no more mixer). Do not blend too much, because the batter may deflate.

Now the batter is ready to be baked. 

Spray with some oil the bottom & sides of a silicone Heart Cake Tray. Pour in the batter.

With the spatula, level its surface. Bake Cake in a preheated Oven 180℃/350℉ -both top and bottom heating elements on-for 20'.

Check if it’s ready; when inserting a knife, it should come out clean. Remove from the oven.

Let the cake cool down completely on a rack.          

TIP: At this point, you can store cake in the fridge for 1 week (covered).

2-Prepare the filling: 

With a hand mixer, beat the butter for 1'-2’. Add the icing sugar. Pour in the cream and vanilla extract. Beat well to incorporate.

Sprinkle the cocoa powder on top through a sieve. Beat the mix well. The filling is now quite thick (if it's too thick add a bit extra cream).

With the spatula blend all ingredients once more. Then cover the filling and put in the fridge until ready to use.

TIP: At this point, if preparing in stages, you can store the filling in the fridge for a couple days before using.

3-Prepare the syrup: 

Over medium heat, pour the water in a skillet. Then add lemon juice and the sugar.

Let sugar completely melt and boil the syrup for 3' total time. When syrup is translucent, turn off the heat. Let syrup cool down completely!

Assembly:

When the sponge cake has also cooled down, remove from the tray onto a nice platter.

With a sharp knife, cut off any excess cake bits in order to achieve the Heart shape.

Then using a long sharp knife, cut the cake horizontally in the middle! Reserve the half on the side.

With some kitchen paper, clean cake crumbles around the platter.

Using a spoon, drizzle 2/5 of the cool syrup all around the top of the "heart" base.

Spread the chilled chocolate filling on top. Leave some behind to spread over the sides later!

Then place the second "Heart" cake layer over the filling (smooth side should be on top). Drizzle the rest of syrup on top. 

Spread the rest of the chocolate filling all around the sides of the cake to cover them! Clean up the sides of the platter. Reserve the cake covered in the fridge (for 1 day).

4-Prepare the glaze: 

Place a small skillet over very low heat. Pour the cream in. Heat it up. When it starts to boil, add in the chocolate chunks. Let them slowly melt in the cream by continuously stirring.

Pour the margarine in and stir to blend it in. This will make the sauce glossy. When you are certain chocolate chunks have melted, turn off the heat. Let the chocolate glaze cool down completely.

When glaze is cool and is now a bit more solid, spread it slowly and evenly on top of the "Heart" Cake. It doesn’t matter if it drips a bit on the sides!

Time to decorate: 

Take handfuls of chocolate Sprinkles in your palm and stick them all around the sides of the cake. Gently press the sprinkles to stick them firmly. Clean the platter from leftovers. 

You can now decorate the top anyway you like. I decorated with 2 cute chocolates.

Then using some white frosting and a piping bag, I wrote a nice message on the cake. And last but not least, I sprinkled little candy, shaped like "hearts" all around.

The gâteau needs to chill in the fridge for a few hours before serving. Take it out of the fridge 20’ before serving.

Serving suggestion: If you are celebrating LOVE, then serve this beautiful cake on a white tablecloth with rose petals all around. Serve it with a nice cool champagne. Your special someone will be very happy!

With a few changes in decoration, it can be the perfect birthday cake for your kid! Kids in Greece love chocolate KOK! 

TIP: You can serve it with some strawberries, if in season.

Feast your eyes at this amazingly rich filling!

Greece Travel Tip: Incredible you may think, but Saint Valentine's Day originated in Greece with the Arcadian Lykaia and The Lupercalia. According to some sources, the Greeks invented it, thousands of years ago, in Arcadia, Peloponnese, Greece. In ancient Greece, at the beginning of Spring, among the mythical green meadows of Arcadia, where the God of the wild, shepherds, nature and rustic music, Pan frolicked with the nymphs, wooing them with his magical pipe, a festival was held, a ritual of spring cleaning.

This festival, held around 15th of February, to honour Pan on the day he founded his temple, was called The Festival of the Arcadian Lykaia when the city was cleansed of evil spirits, and people’s souls were purified, bringing health and fertility. Amazing fact!

Excerpts from Greekerthanthegreeks.blogspot.nl

Check my YouTube Video: Here

Σοκολατένια Τούρτα Καρδιά Κώκ

By Greek Cooking Made Easy

https://www.youtube.com/greekcookingmadeeasy Σερβίρει 7-8 άτομα Η Σοκολατένια Τούρτα Καρδιά Κώκ είναι η δική μου υπέροχη πρόταση για ένα απολαυστικό, ζουμερό σοκολατένιο Κώκ (Νέγρος) σε σχήμα Καρδιάς! Όταν το έκανα για πρώτη φορά, έλαβα τόσες πολλές φιλοφρονήσεις και αιτήσεις για τη συνταγή. Έτσι, μετά από μια μακρά αναμονή, ΕΔΩ είναι τελικά. Και ακριβώς στην ώρα για να γιορτάσουμε την ημέρα του Αγίου Βαλεντίνου φτιάχνοντας αυτό το γλυκό ως ένα πολύ σπέσιαλ επιδόρπιο. Ωστόσο, θα μπορούσε να σερβιριστεί και για τα γενέθλια των παιδιών σας με μια άλλη διακόσμηση. Ένα απίστευτο κέικ που βασίζεται στην ελληνική συνταγή σοκολατένιου Kώκ! Κατάλληλο για χορτοφάγους. Η συνταγή δεν είναι δύσκολη αλλά έχει 4 ενότητες. Ακολουθήστε τις συμβουλές μου, αν θέλετε να την φτιάξετε σταδιακά.

Υλικά: 1. Βάση παντεσπάνι 3 μεσαία Αυγά (σε θερμοκρασία δωματίου) 60 γρ. / 2 oz / 0,5 φλ. Αλεύρι που φουσκώνει μόνο του 1 κ.γ. Αλάτι 8 γρ. ή 2 κ.γ. Αρωμα βανίλιας (σκόνη) 100 γρ. / 3,5 oz / 0,4 φλ. Ζάχαρη 15 γρ. / 0,5 oz Κόρν Φλάουρ Ένας δίσκος κέικ σε σχήμα Καρδιά με διάμετρο 17 cm / 6,7 in max.

2. Γέμιση Σοκολάτας 120 γρ. / 4,2 oz Βούτυρο ή μαργαρίνη (σε θερμοκρασία δωματίου) 200 γρ. / 7 oz / 1,25 φλ. Ζάχαρη άχνη 35 γρ. / 1,2 oz / 0,35 φλ. Κακάο σκόνη 1 κ.γ. Εκχύλισμα βανίλιας 2-3 κ.σ. Κρέμα Γάλακτος 35% λιπαρά

3. Σιρόπι 120 γρ. / 4,2 oz / λίγο παραπάνω από μισό φλ. Ζάχαρη 120 ml. ή 0,5 φλ. Νερό 1 κ.γ. Χυμό λεμονιού

4. Γλάσο Σοκολάτας 120 γρ. / 4,2 oz Σοκολάτα με 60% κακάο 125 γρ. / 4,4 oz / λίγο παραπάνω από μισό φλ. Κρέμα Γάλακτος 35% λίπος 1 κ.γ. Μαργαρίνη 100 γρ. / 3,5 oz Τρούφα σοκολάτας Άλλα διακοσμητικά για την τούρτα

Μέθοδος: 1-Ξεκινήστε με το παντεσπάνι: Χρησιμοποιώντας ένα δυνατό ηλεκτρικό μίξερ, σπάστε τα 3 αυγά και ξεκινήστε να τα χτυπάτε. Προσθέστε τη ζάχαρη και την βανίλια. Χτυπάμε το μείγμα αυγού-ζάχαρης σε μεγάλη ταχύτητα για 5'-6' ή μέχρι να γίνει λευκό, να σχηματίζει μαλακές κορφές και να είναι αφράτο. Στη συνέχεια σταματήστε το μίξερ. Χρησιμοποιώντας ένα κόσκινο, πασπαλίζετε στην κορυφή του μείγματος το αλάτι και το κόρν φλάουρ. Προσθέστε σταδιακά το αλεύρι μέσα από το κόσκινο. Ανακατέψτε απαλά με μια σπάτουλα (μην χρησιμοποιήσετε άλλο το μίξερ). Μην αναμειγνύετε πάρα πολύ, επειδή μπορεί να ξεφουσκώσει το παντεσπάνι. Τώρα το παντεσπάνι είναι έτοιμο να ψηθεί. Ψεκάστε με λίγο λάδι το κάτω μέρος και τις πλευρές του ταψιού-καρδιάς. Ρίξτε το μίγμα. Με τη σπάτουλα, ισιώστε την επιφάνεια. Ψήστε το κέικ σε ένα προθερμασμένο φούρνο 180℃/350℉ - πάνω και κάτω αντιστάσεις- για 20 '. Ελέγξτε αν είναι έτοιμο-όταν εισάγετε ένα μαχαίρι, πρέπει να βγει καθαρό. Τότε βγάλτε το από το φούρνο. Αφήστε το κέικ να κρυώσει εντελώς σε μία σχάρα. ΣΥΜΒΟΥΛΗ: Σε αυτό το σημείο, μπορείτε να φυλάξετε το κέικ στο ψυγείο για 1 εβδομάδα (καλυμμένο). 2-Προετοιμάστε τη γέμιση: Με ένα μίξερ χειρός, κτυπήστε το βούτυρο για 1'-2'. Προσθέστε τη ζάχαρη άχνη. Ρίξτε μέσα την κρέμα και το εκχύλισμα βανίλιας. Ανακατέψτε καλά για να ενσωματώσετε. Πασπαλίστε τη σκόνη κακάου από πάνω, μέσα από ένα κόσκινο. Χτυπήστε το μίγμα καλά. Η γέμιση είναι τώρα αρκετά πηχτή (αν είναι πάρα πολύ, προσθέστε λίγο επιπλέον κρέμα). Με τη σπάτουλα αναμιγνύετε και πάλι όλα τα συστατικά. Στη συνέχεια, καλύψτε τη γέμιση και βάλτε στο ψυγείο μέχρι να είναι έτοιμη για χρήση. ΣΥΜΒΟΥΛΗ: Σε αυτό το σημείο, εάν προετοιμάζετε το γλυκό σταδιακά, μπορείτε να φυλάξετε τη γέμιση στο ψυγείο για μερικές ημέρες πριν τη χρήση. 3-Προετοιμάστε το σιρόπι: Σε μέτρια φωτιά, ρίξτε το νερό σε μια κατσαρόλα. Στη συνέχεια προσθέστε χυμό λεμονιού και ζάχαρη. Αφήστε τη ζάχαρη να λιώσει εντελώς και βράστε το σιρόπι για 3' συνολικό χρόνο. Όταν το σιρόπι γίνει διαφανές, σβήστε τη φωτιά. Αφήστε το σιρόπι να κρυώσει εντελώς! Συναρμολόγηση: Όταν το κέικ έχει επίσης κρυώσει, αφαιρέστε από το ταψί και τοποθετείστε σε μια ωραία πιατέλα. Με ένα κοφτερό μαχαίρι, αποκόψτε τυχόν κομμάτια κέικ που περισσεύουν στα πλάγια για να επιτύχετε το σχήμα καρδιάς. Στη συνέχεια, χρησιμοποιώντας ένα μακρύ κοφτερό μαχαίρι, κόψτε το κέικ οριζόντια στη μέση! Κρατήστε το μισό στο πλάι. Με λίγο χαρτί κουζίνας, καθαρίστε τη πιατέλα από υπολείμματα θρυμματισμένου κέικ. Χρησιμοποιώντας ένα κουτάλι, βρέξτε απαλά την βάση "καρδιάς" με τα 2/5 του κρύου σιροπιού. Κατόπιν απλώστε την γέμιση σοκολάτας από πάνω. Αφήστε στην άκρη λίγη γέμιση για να καλύψετε τα πλάγια του κέικ αργότερα! Στη συνέχεια, τοποθετήστε το δεύτερο στρώμα κέικ από πάνω από τη γέμιση (η λεία επιφάνεια του κέικ πρέπει να είναι προς τα πάνω). Βρέξτε με το υπόλοιπο σιρόπι. Καλύψτε το υπόλοιπο της γέμισης σοκολάτας γύρω γύρω στις πλευρές του κέικ για να τις καλύψετε! Καθαρίστε τα πλάγια της πιατέλας. 

Διατηρήστε το κέικ καλυμμένο στο ψυγείο (για 1 ημέρα). 4-Προετοιμάστε το Γλάσο: Τοποθετήστε μια μικρή κατσαρόλα σε πολύ χαμηλή φωτιά. Ρίξτε την κρέμα μέσα. Ζεστάνετέ την. Όταν αρχίσει να βράζει, προσθέστε τα κομμάτια σοκολάτας. Αφήστε τα να λιώσουν αργά στην κρέμα με συνεχή ανάδευση. Ρίξτε τη μαργαρίνη μέσα και ανακατέψτε για να την αναμίξετε. Αυτό θα κάνει τη σάλτσα γυαλιστερή. Όταν είστε σίγουροι ότι τα κομμάτια σοκολάτας έχουν λειώσει, σβήστε τη φωτιά. Αφήστε το σοκολατένιο γλάσο να κρυώσει εντελώς. Όταν το γλάσο είναι κρύο και λίγο πιο στερεό, απλώστε το αργά και ομοιόμορφα στην κορυφή του κέικ σχήματος Καρδιάς. Δεν έχει σημασία αν κυλήσει λίγο στα πλάγια!

Ώρα να διακοσμήσετε: Πάρτε χούφτες τρούφας σοκολάτας στην παλάμη σας και κολλήστε τις γύρω από τις πλευρές του κέικ. Πιέστε απαλά τις τρούφες για να τις κολλήσετε σταθερά. Καθαρίστε την πιατέλα από τα υπολείμματα. Μπορείτε τώρα να διακοσμήσετε την επιφάνεια του γλυκού όπως σας αρέσει. Εγώ διακόσμησα με 2 όμορφες πραλίνες σοκολάτας. Στη συνέχεια, χρησιμοποιώντας λίγο άσπρο γλάσο σε κορνέ , έγραψα ένα ωραίο μήνυμα στο κέικ. ��αι τελευταίο αλλά εξίσου σημαντικό, διακόσμησα το κέικ μου με καραμελάκια σε σχήμα καρδιάς. Το γλυκό πρέπει να κρυώσει στο ψυγείο για λίγες ώρες πριν το σερβίρετε. Πρέπει επίσης να βγεί 20’ από το ψυγείο πρίν σερβιριστεί! Προτάσεις σερβιρίσματος: Αν γιορτάζετε την ημέρα της ΑΓΑΠΗΣ, τότε σερβίρετε αυτό το όμορφο κέικ σε ένα λευκό τραπεζομάντιλο με ροδοπέταλα παντού. Σερβίρετε το με μια όμορφη παγωμένη σαμπάνια! Το αγαπημένο σας πρόσωπο θα είναι πολύ ευτυχισμένο!! Με μερικές αλλαγές στη διακόσμηση, μπορεί να είναι η τέλεια τούρτα γενεθλίων για το παιδί σας! Τα παιδιά στην Ελλάδα αγαπούν το σοκολατένιο KOK! Για παρ. μπορείτε να προσθέσετε φράουλες, αν είναι η εποχή τους.

Θαυμάστε τι πλούσια και ζουμερή είναι η γέμιση αυτού το γλυκού! Απολαύστε το!!

Τουριστικός οδηγός Ελλάδας: Απίστευτο μπορεί να σκεφτεί κανείς, αλλά η Ημέρα του Αγίου Βαλεντίνου φαίνεται να γεννήθηκε στην Ελλάδα στην Αρκαδική Λυκαία. Σύμφωνα με ορισμένες πηγές, οι Έλληνες εφηύραν τη γιορτή, χιλιάδες χρόνια πριν, στην Αρκαδία, στην Πελοπόννησο. Στην αρχαία Ελλάδα, στις αρχές της άνοιξης, διοργανωνόταν φεστιβάλ, τελετουργικό εαρινής καθαριότητας, για τον Θεό της φύσης Παν! Αυτό το φεστιβάλ, που πραγματοποιόταν γύρω στις 15 Φεβρουαρίου, την ημέρα δηλ. που ο Πάν ίδρυσε τον ναό  του, ονομαζόταν Φεστιβάλ της Αρκαδικής Λυκίας, και η πόλη καθαριζόταν από κακά πνεύματα και οι ψυχές των ανθρώπων καθαρίζονταν, φέρνοντας υγεία και γονιμότητα. 

Αποσπάσματα από το Greekerthanthegreeks.blogspot.nl

Κοιτάξτε επίσης την συνταγή μου σε YoTube βίντεο, το λίνκ είναι: ΕΔΩ.

Hong Kong is Now a ‘Tale of Two Cities’ Before today’s election, Hong Kong had dropped out of the frontpage news while the city took a deep breath without any tear gas in the air, and both sides seem to have worked together to have smooth elections. Even Carrie Lam, Hong Kong’s CEO, when asked what she thought about the election prospects said that she “hoped elections could continue as planned.” It seems everyone else had the same idea, especially the 400,000 new young voters who ran the ballot count to almost 3 million votes − a 71% turnout. This gave a sweeping win to the pro-democracy advocates who won an incredible 389 of the 452 district council slots, up from only 124 in the last election. The government’s allies held just 58 seats, a remarkable collapse from 300. A handful of independents got the rest. No violence was reported, a sign that the city may begin healing its wounds. While this was a major political shift, we must keep in mind that these are the lowest elected offices in Hong Kong, dealing with community level issues only. But from an egg grows a chicken, and once upon a time, a dinosaur. The democratic election success provides a solid foundation for expanding citizen involvement in Hong Kong affairs, but in no way is a path for vetoing Beijing’s control. Such an event was anticipated when the Hong Kong arrangement was set up, to prevent mainland China from ever losing political control other than through a revolution. Signs of a potential pro-democratic majority win were already evident during the street clearing, despite a small band of protesters still being holed up in the Polytechnic Institute, scene of some of the biggest and most violent battles, with the students making massive use of Molotov cocktails against the police. In the US if you threw one of these at a cop you would get shot on the spot, all perfectly legal under the “I feared for my life” police officer defense, which grand juries have upheld endless times. Both sides seem to tire out at the same time Days after the riots, protesters have been helping clean the streets and getting 600 polling-station areas ready for lines around the block. Voters showed up today to wait an hour to vote. Small groups of riot police were visible, but they had an uneventful day. Several long time pro-Beijing districts were won by young pro-democracy candidates in their 20’s, purely due to the losers having backed the extradition issue for criminal trials, which I suspect that Beijing looks back on as a big mistake. Although it canceled the initiative, the political damage already had been done. It lit a fire in Hong Kong, as the democracy groups expanded their demands to have broader wish list to draw supporters, and it worked. Roy Kwong Chung-Yu, who won the Pek Long constituency claimed, “The voice of the public is loud and clear: Five demands, not one less. If Hong Kong Chief Executive Carrie Lam “doesn’t listen to our voice, she must still not be awake.” The tale of the other city The tragic irony is that the pro-democracy groups had a strong wind in their sails due to Beijing’s extradition-act blunder. With the mass protests and escalating violence, the US’ exploitation of the situation to make China look “repressive” was not only wrong, but unnecessary. Despite all the US huffing and puffing warnings to Beijing to not use violence against the protesters, Hong Kong authorities showed tremendous restraint in the face of increasingly violent tactics. Man retired intel vets people saw signs that the increased violence was being orchestrated by outside infiltrators to trigger harsher tactics against the protesters which could be used for US anti-China propaganda. Protesters roast political opponent alive The real victims were those we watched on video being savaged by college age protesters. The most famous victim of their cruelty will be the unfortunate and anonymous Mr. Lee, who finally has been awakened from his induced ten-day coma to learn he has the become the face, or what is left of his face, of the barbarity of the US-backed protesters in Hong Kong. Fortunately, the monsters that did this to him wanted full credit for the deed, so they videoed it all in HD for us so see, similar to how ISIS filmed its beheadings for propaganda. I knew when I watched Mr. Lee running away in flames that the extremist protesters had just signed their political death warrants. We pray that they are disclosed to the police for proper punishment. Mr. Lee has a female victim companion, also unknown at this time, a middle-aged woman that was savagely beaten by college age young men with construction rebar steel clubs, while being videoed. What is not shown in both of these videos is the “Made in the USA” stamp on all of this. No Chinese political protester would ever do such a thing to a Chinese woman. Only hired thugs, the kind typically used by intel agencies to trigger harsher response from the authorities would perform such acts. My research found that even some of protesters had also joined the horribly burned legacy of the riots by fumbling their Molotov cocktails and lighting themselves up. They are now forever entwined on a two-headed memorial coin for these riots. Hong Kong riot police refused to overreact to protester violence The Hong Kong authorities showed tremendous professionalism and restraint in preventing injuries and death to both protesters and civilians. Although Mr. Pompeo got on the record this summer saying that the US did not advocate violence in the Hong Kong protests, he must think we can’t remember the US-inflicted carnage on Afghanistan, Iraq, and Libya. In Syria, the US total number given for civilians killed by US bombings, (1300), is being found in single mass graves, over and over, just inside Raqqa alone. There is a drone video tour online that takes you around the city showing you the sites and the body counts. When the interrogations of those arrested in Hong Kong are completed, we may learn a lot more about how independent the rioters really were. In my research today, I found many statements for their asking US to intervene on their behalf this summer. I suspect that the Hong Kong authorities will have extensive intelligence files on the birthing of these fire-bombing riots, timed to take place at a critical phase of the US-China trade talks and just before the election. Interference in other countries’ affairs and elections is just another day’s work for many US embassies. We can look at what is going on in South America, once again, as the descendants of the Spanish conquistadors are being supported by the US against the native Indian populations who were decimated in the early colonial period, with millions dying in the silver mines alone. There has been little protesting by the American left against this current wave to reconquer South America and economically enslave the natives in a new round of exploitation and poverty. We have all been here before As Senior VT Editor Gordon Duff has mention in his articles, since the Vietnam War protests there has really been nothing of consequence that grabbed the attention of the whole country since then to end another useless war. But we did have a major poll published last week that 60% of the US soldiers and officers that fought in Afghanistan and Iraq felt neither was was not worth it, a late admission, but one that is public now. The anti-Vietnam war protests were covered over by historically calling them “campus protests”, inferring they were civilian-student run. They were actually done by the Vietnam veterans who poured into America’s colleges on the GI bill and became the heart and soul of the anti-war movement. There were 8000 Vietnam War vets at Michigan State when Gordon was there for his graduate work. If word went out that there was a war protest at noon the next day, 6000 of them would be there; and the terrified campus police never messed with the PTSD vets. The organization of these campus protests were typically done by officers, Special forces officers. Today the officers are basically nowhere to be seen fighting against the fake war scourge, rolling over for the proxy terror wars. If you don’t think the US was willing to play with fire in Hong Kong, I will try to get Mr. Lee on the phone to explain it to you.

Make story about Ererihan feat 104th cadet please❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

Your wish! Is my command

I TBH wrote this while listening to Some Nights by FUN (great song). So have some immature jokes along the way, I wanted it to be a bit funny since the last three fics I have written last time were all sad XD

Some Nights (EruRiHan x 104th Cadets - Midnight Breaks)

Theme: Drinking and Bets

Rating: PG

Warning: Curse Words

AOT WEEK || send your asks/requests here x.

They watched as the squad leader took another swig of her mug, gulping all the contents in one solid motion. Cheers erupted, as her cheeks flushed pink under the influence of alcohol, smiling goofily and eyes seeming to wander into all directions.

Connie and Sasha watched her with fascination as she laughed it off, their minds equally affected with booze as she was. Jean Kirchtein had been bragging how he was better than the squad leader while Eren had challenged him, the poor boy spitting out a his drink after having too much, the others laughing at him as he scolded them, a facade for his embarrassment. Historia quietly had her fill, hesitant at first, but letting herself drown her sorrow of loosing Ymir after a few nudges by Sasha. Amongst the 104th squad, only Mikasa and Armin were sober. The raven haired girl seemingly unaffected even after calling some shots for Jaeger, Armin as always, said no to any form of beverage that would put him off his right mind. The Commander and Corporal had also joined their fun for the night, sitting across the young scouts with a drunk off her ass Hanji between them. Erwin had been admittedly buzzed from all he took in the past hour, Levi, still going strong, not even a single finger twitching as he took on more liquid.

These were the rare nights of the Survey Corps, wherein they’d be goofing around after a long and tiring day. Some of the nights they’d cherish, drinking under the subtle lamp light inside the pantry after dark. The Commander, even after loosing an arm a couple of weeks ago, would not pass this moment up. Levi, just right after his leg was healed took part in the chaos as well, claiming they would need someone sober to look after them. Hanji drowned herself, avoiding the thoughts of her fallen friends in the last expedition. The 104th cadets were still accepting the fact that Reiner and Bertholdt were the titans that wreaked havoc and ruined peace five years ago.

They let themselves indulge in the cheap alcohol Mike had left them in one of the cellars of the kitchen. A few bottles immediately going empty while the stronger ones were reserved for the long run. They were already on half of a bottle of Bacardi, taking shots alternatively as they laughed and share stories, forgetting about all the problems and sadness for now.

“More!” Hanji slurred, raising her mug up as Jean shakily slid the bottle across the table, Levi grabbing the glass and stopping it before it reached the brunette woman.

“That’s enough shitty glasses” he hissed, pulling the alcohol away from her direction, while she flailed her arms up lazily in an attempt to reach the item.

“But I want more” she pouted, as he used a free hand to push her away from her forehead.

“You’re already bat shit drunk. You’ll have a damn headache again and complain about your shitty hangover tomorrow morning” he growled, still holding her off.

“He’s right Hanji, you should stop” Erwin spoke from her opposite side, taking another swig of his own share.

“I really get the same answers from the same old men” she laughed bitterly. “You are all no fair”

The two men, upon noticing her distress, looked at each other and nodded. Levi let go of the bottle and poured her half of her glass, which she immediately obliged to. She was most likely thinking about Mike again, and it would beat the whole purpose of their drinking.

Levi knew it would take her only a few more drops to be knocked out, that was all they needed. As selfish as it is, they wanted to forget everything even for the night and act like everything was alright. They just needed a small break from reality before facing the truth again come day break, they didn’t need the squad leader sharing gloom after already an hour of being stress free.

As Levi predicted, she let down her mug and let it tilt till it dropped from her grasp with a thud once it hit the wooden table. Levi winced at the noise and possibility that the glass broke. He lifted it up carefully and sighed as he eyed at her peacefully sleeping figure. She had always bee the same, resistance low for booze, always the first one to be knocked out cold during their sessions.

He reached out a hand to carefully remove stray strands of hair that framed her eyes, another set of fingers hitting his before he could do so. His gaze met the blonde man from the other direction, eyebrows equally furrowed as his as they showed the same concern for the woman between them, tension slowly building up that the new recruits seemed to notice.

“I bet they both have a thing for the squad leader” Connie first whispered to Sasha, way too loud that the two men heard it, and whipped their attention towards the boy.

“Seconded” Sasha laughed, totally oblivious to the stares of her superiors.

“What are you brats talking about?!” the Corporal hissed, making the duo pipe down as they stared at them with fear.

“N-nothing sir! S-sorry!” The girl trembled, trying to brush them off.

“Well I guess the truth cannot be held off for long” Erwin laughed, surprising the short man nearly a meter away from him. “Relationships aren’t really forbidden amongst us soldiers, but it is a choice” His only hand reached out for her, finally tucking the loose hair behind her hair.

“So is that a confirmation that you indeed like her Commander?” Jean smirked, before Eren nudged him and he managed to spill a few drops of liquor on his pants.

“Why are we even talking about this?” Levi groaned, shooting an intimidating look to the cadets in front of him who seemed to take entertainment into the lives of their superiors.

“I actually do like her, but I’d rather not be selfish for my own feelings” Erwin declared, earning a holler from the scouts.

Levi was becoming confused, not being able to say a word as he stared at the Commander with anger, or rather jealousy. He couldn’t fathom it why he was so affected by Erwin’s proclamation of Love for the filthy woman, but he was beyond annoyed, his heart bubbling an unfamiliar feeling to his senses.

“The Corporal is suddenly quiet” Sasha snickered, earning another glare from him.

“He’s just jealous” Connie pointed out to him.

“Enough about this topic” he growled at everyone, yet they did not pipe down. He started getting tickled off by their alcohol induced systems. They will surely be consumed by their own faults the next morning, through a hell of a hangover. He knew they probably will not remember anything about their activities the next morning, and will wake up groggy and in pain.

“Just admit it Corporal, what happens in this room stays here” Eren gave him a small smile, one that felt weird. Jaeger was surely getting too close with everyone today. He did not even lash out on Mikasa for taking his shares a few times. He only teased Jean quite a fewer times than usual and was getting all good boy manner to everyone else.

“My personal life is none of your business” he took another shot, feeling the pressure everyone around him threw in his way.

“So you admit it?” Armin taunted this time. He shot a look at the boy who who only gave him a playful smile.

“The corporal is blushing” Jean teased, he felt like he could never get tired shooting death glares to the scouts, yet they’d never pay any respect for him in their drunken state.

“So what is it to you if I bathe four eyes, save her from her damn titans, and clean her shitty glasses from time to time huh? You should all just find another brat to like and care about your own damn relationships” he hissed, surprised faces coming his way.

Silence enveloped them, as he realized what he had said. He had just revealed to the young ones that he cared for the woman. Erwin looked at him with a stoic expression, yet fiery eyes which dug into his soul. He returned the favor, having confidence to fight for her but never knew where the feeling came from. A fight on intimidation lingered between the two men, the one they are fighting for safe and soundly asleep under their gazes.

“I bet on the Commander” Jean broke the silence.

“How could you say that?!” Connie shot back. “I’ll put all Sasha’s secret food stash under her bed for the Corporal” the two superiors had directed their attention to the boy. Levi, knowing that he’d be the sober one, took note to check the cadet quarters the following morning for some stolen loots of food.

“Connie!” the brunette nervously hushing her partner.

“Just put your bet on the Corporal and I won’t point it out” she nodded her head.

“I’d say the Corporal” Eren followed, their eyes landing on the people who haven’t voted yet.

“Wherever Eren goes, I go” Mikasa followed.

“I say the safest bet would be the Commander” Historia finally spoke, sudden interest spurting out that the topic.

“But did no one think about Moblit who seemed to admire the Squad Leader so much too?” Armin spoke.

“Shut up Arlert” Levi growled at him, before returning his fury back to Erwin who was still unfazed.

“That was not even in the choices Armin” Eren scolded him while the blonde boy gave an apologetic look.

Their staring contest went on for a few minutes, none of the men showing intent to cave in. Even though it seemed ridiculous that they were fighting about a woman who will probably wake up the next morning without knowledge of what happened, everyone seemed so entertained about it. Two superiors bantering over another one, a rare issue between soldiers that was definitely eye and ear candy for anybody else.

“This is stupid” Levi first groaned, knowing the fight would not result to anything.

“But its already amusing Levi. Besides, I never intend to loose” Erwin added fuel to the fire.

“Shut up Erwin. I bet your brainy ass won’t even remember a thing tomorrow like the rest of you brats” they only laughed at him.

“They may not remember captain, but you’re not the only sober one in this room” Armin gave him a wicked look which sent chills up his spine. The kid has his own way of mental torture that can fuck up everyone in his way. He certainly had something up his sleeve, like the two smart veterans he was fooling with at the moment. They always had a plan, and Arlert seemed to be on their level as well.

“This thing would be useless if you all plummet to unexpected death on the next expedition” he growled, silence suddenly stopping their fun. He touched a sensitive topic which immediately made him want to take it back for a moment. How dare he mention their precious lives into their jokes.

“Yeah that’s right!” Connie screamed. “Therefore, we must all live to witness this great moment of who gets to marry squad leader Hanji” although annoyed, he silently thanked the boy for easing the gloomy aura he caused. The others began to perk up and join him.

“Yup! We will live for years long and watch weather the Commander or Corporal wins” Eren followed short after.

“I still bet on the Commander though” Jean declared.

“And I still bet Sasha’s food stash on the Corporal” he got a glare from the brunette.

“Just shut up and get over with all already” Levi hissed.

“Then I say we survive and see the greater days” Erwin raised his newly filled mug up the air. He sent a smile on Levi’s way as he raised his own glass to the middle.

“Survive and live a better life!” Connie joined in.

“Survive and reclaim land for more cattle and meat!” Sasha piped up, eyes looking up as she imagined all the food opportunities.

“Survive and regain peace for the land” Historia added, somewhat already sounding like a proclaimed queen.

“Survive and reclaim Shiganshina, uncover the knowledge my father had left behind for me” The last trio merged their own glasses to the circle.

“Survive and find out the truth about my titan babies!”

“Survive!” They all chanted, clicking their mugs together and chugging the last drops of liquor they had. A smile on everyone’s faces as they vowed to live.

“Well that was great booze!” her laughter erupted once again, making everyone turn their heads towards her. “What did I miss?” she asked, hazel irises wide as all her comrades stared at her.

“Hanji” Erwin laughed first, clearly intoxicated.

“You fucking four eyes” Levi followed, earning soft chuckles from everyone.

Still, after that night, she was oblivious to everything that happened around her.

[23 days later]

In reference to https://hadjii-blogs-undertale.tumblr.com/post/163800444030/

@lynns-art-blog

...

And honestly, @everyone-needs-a-hoopoe because there's things in here that go for you too. Please read it through to the end. Or just skip to the very end at first and then go back and read through if you need.

I really, really, really didn’t actually want to get off my butt and do this, for multiple reasons. And not just cuz I’m a lazy jackhole with depression who doesn’t want to do anything in general. But recent events have brought things to a head, and I cannot remain silent any longer.

First, I should like to clarify just where I stand as regarding the Undertale fandom.

The Undertale fandom is a beautiful thing. It is extremely imperfect but I love the fandom and will continue to do so for as long as I am able.

Second, I should like to clarify where I stand as regarding Undertale itself.

It will be difficult however, because I love Undertale more than I am capable of putting into any transferable medium that I know of.

Am I a bit emotionally over-invested in Undertale?

Heck. Yes.

I also don't care that I am.

Undertale has brought more joy and happiness and meaning to my life than literally anything else save my family who raised me and loves me, my religion, and a shortlist of friends, some of whom I only have so dear to my heart because of Undertale, so the point is moot.

I can't say that Undertale cured my depression, because it didn't.

What it did do is it showed me at a critical point in my life that there's something outside the grey murky mire.

I'd considered myself an emotionally open person before Undertale. This was only vaguely true. Current me cannot comfortably say that old me was emotionally intelligent without severe disclaimers.

Old me was an emotionally awkward dirtbag who had some idea of how to be a person but on the whole was completely clueless.

I had forgotten how to feel. Like, really feel. And not just from the depression.

I could occasionally get hits from certain songs and I absolutely lived for those moments but the songs would rapidly hit their saturation levels and I'd be cold again.

Then Undertale came along. I loved the game long before I played it, discovering things about it slowly through an endless flood of my tumblr feed.

It looked like a rather good, cute, compelling little game. Eventually I decided to write a bit of fanfiction about it because it looked really good and I wanted to churn out what would happen if GLaD had an interaction with a murdery timeline.

So I went and researched. I dug and I dug and I dug. This wasn't all of my research, but on one particular tumblr alone I went through 700-odd undertale posts.

Between that and pouring out my heart and soul into the writing as I discovered just how much I could care about these things, or care in general really, I found that I'd left the door open, and something came back. A whole lot of something.

Undertale is a Happy™ game about Happy™ things.

I had learned that maybe sad things weren't all bad back from the days of Background Pony. The difference being, Background Pony had a disappointing, absurd ending. They'd won the right even by my sappy heart to have a sad ending, then they completely botched it. I'd associated one of the most significant songs I know of with it, and they failed terribly.

But Undertale had a good ending. As aggravating as it is to not be able to keep Asriel, much less Chara, in the bounds of the game itself, that's part of the point of the ending. So there was no knee-jerk shock. While it is true that in a practical Undertale implementation, unbounded by the Game Maker engine, fuelled by the raw power of Determination, human spirit, and imagination, surely something more could have been achieved. But that does not take away from the coherent ending of Undertale.

There is a lot of pain in Undertale. So much pain.

It is overwhelming and vivid and searing and scorching and so very, very tangible and understandable and real. Not that the events of the game are real, well, as far as I can tell. The emotions are deep and real, I mean.

This was to me as the gas leak was to Vinny Santorini in Atlantis.

Due to the combined pressure of the mental overhaul Undertale was giving me, and the softness and vulnerability it re-introduced, throwing in re-learning certain cold facts about how much the powers-that-be at my previous job didn't care about doing good work, only making money, more severely than I had previously believed from last year, I lost my ability to continue driving there and showing up every day. Now, due to the way the contract works, and my having left the job gracefully, I am free to go back whenever I want. I was not fired. There are many employees who just go there, work as long as they can, then leave and wait for next season to come back. Their efforts are appreciated, especially when all heck breaks loose at the beginning of the on-season because all the bugs in the software that weren't found yet are harsly exposed. What happened with me is not ideal, nor is it rare or even unusual at this place. In about 3 months I could walk in the door and they'd welcome me with a smile and I'd get back to politely telling people that they're wrong and clueless and fixing their crap for them and half the time doing their job for them. (as if that's terribly different than my current job... just in person now instead of over a phone)

Anyways, so, Undertale hurts. Loving Undertale so deeply hurts a lot.

But it's also happy. It has so much happiness. It's so bright and wonderful. It's a warm, soft, fuzzy hug from goatmom and a slice of butterscotch pie. It's making spaghetti with Papyrus, only using an actual recipe this time and making it turn out well. It's watching anime until 4 am with Alphys and Undyne and suppressing giggles at seeing the two precious gay babies asleep and cuddling. It's hugging Sans and telling him it'll be okay. It's having a lovely tea party with Asgore and Muffet.

It's kissing a sad sapient golden flower on the forehead, buying a bar of chocolate and raising it in the air as a toast before eating it.

Bittersweet happiness sometimes but so very, very good and I love it and I really cannot get enough.

I'm addicted. Addicted to feeling again.

As the band Ghost says, "From the pinnacle to the pit, it is a long way down."

I haven't been to the absolute bottom, in that I haven't been institutionalized/hospitalized/just straight up killed by my depression, But I have been in the shower for 4 hours before from 2 am to 6 am at college, for one thing, so uhhh, nobody can say that I'm utterly clueless about such things without looking like a lunatic.

https://hadjii-blogs-undertale.tumblr.com/post/164567314340

Posts like the above still rip my heart out every time I see them. I've long since re-associated the song mentioned earlier with this particular point of note of Chara.

It's not entirely pleasant, no, but it makes me feel so alive and real and like I'm an actual human being and not an emotionless, soulless automaton covered in flesh.

And the happy posts are just that much brighter because of the contrast.

https://hadjii-blogs-undertale.tumblr.com/post/164689197750 https://hadjii-blogs-undertale.tumblr.com/post/164498003145 https://hadjii-blogs-undertale.tumblr.com/post/164161681835 https://hadjii-blogs-undertale.tumblr.com/post/164061257705

Some people can get by on just fluff alone. There's nothing wrong with that. This is just the way I personally operate. As for me, I've had too much saccharine positivity and "oh dont be sad everything is completely fine and theres nothing to be sad about youre not depressed just get up and go to work son!"

sorry got sidetracked and a little oddly specific there anyways

So the point is from the above wall of text that I have a lot of investment in Undertale and it means a lot to me.

Now, it's time for me to pull receipts.

One receipt, to be exact.

On a semifamous Undertale blog, that I still have not responded to, and quite possibly never will, unless you count this post as a response.

http://charadreemurr.tumblr.com/post/157052680490

I literally couldn't even read their last response for a solid two months because my eyes would skim off the words because they were full of so much utter crap. When I did, I was sorry for it, because it was still so much crap. And no, this isn't like the average tumblr receipt pull, because a lot of the time, a given person has changed for the better, and the receipts you're pulling are for a dramatically different person. This person has not changed and as best as I can tell will never change, or at least not for the next decade or so, unless something dramatic happens. They were the OP of the twitter bustercluck. If you don't know, don't ask, because I don't feel like getting into that right now. I may do so later though in a different post.

All I was trying to do was share a little positivity, and I was met with discourse, hostility, and self-righteousness.

"And second “biological gender” is a statement rife with discontent-"

Pardon my french but wtf m8?

Since then I have learned more thoroughly that in more modern usage, that sex and gender don't have ambiguity and don't need "biological" and "identity" modifiers for clarification, so to a limited extent, they were correct.

However, this does not excuse their behavior. There are many people, myself included back then, that because of their upbringing are uncomfortable saying the word "sex" in any context. I am not now, but I was then, which is why I used "gender" with modifiers for clarification. I gave them multiple chances in earlier reblogs to realize that I was just trying to share a bit of happiness. I clearly conveyed the belief that what's in one's pants doesn't necessarily align with what's in one's head and that it's not a problem. I also clearly stated that when referring to Frisk and Chara, one should use they/them.

And yet, they chose to perceive a threat where there was none. They prefaced their statement with "Yikes" then "Im gonna assume the best here though because i wanna assume people are good"

And completely did not follow through on that.

Statement rife with discontent, indeed.

I was rather hurt by this. Especially, especially because of the uniqueness of their url. They are the one and only charadreemurr. That's a very particular title, and they ought to live up to it.

And here, they did not. Unless Chara Dreemurr really is supposed to be a pretentious self-serving self-righteous paranoid uptight jackhole of a binch. In which case, congratulations, they succeeded.

I showed the post to a different trans friend of mine, and they were shocked by the post as well, looked through their tumblr, and declared the person "basically their least favorite type of person".

To this day, I feel uneasy just seeing the word "yikes" sometimes.

I have mentioned it a few times to some people but this really sent me for a loop. I almost left the fandom on the spot, like far too many good people have done when they were burned by the toxic side of the fandom.

And honestly, if I'd lost Undertale at such a key point in my life, with my job already falling apart, and the other crap I was going through at the time, especially with the election, I cannot safely say that I'd still be here. With the friends that I wouldn't have made solid yet, I probably would have attempted suicide.

And believe me, I'm an engineer. I would not have survived. Knives, pills, guns, rope, water, heights, motor vehicles, police, fire, bleach, all are too unreliable for me. I know exactly how I would do it, if I were to ever do it.

Yeah, I know, it's not anyone's job to make sure I don't commit suicide beyond my own. People who threaten others with their own suicide are horribly manipulative. I am not threatening anyone with my suicide here. I'm not saying "ermagersh dont break up with me or ill literally kill myself" What I am saying is "X happened to me in the past and it's made me want to kill myself" Suicide baiting someone is a terrible thing to do. Accidental baiting someone is not someone's fault, as it's accidental, but generally one should try to avoid it. Very similar to triggering somebody. Don't trigger people. If you do, apologize, and do better in the future, and be more consistent about tags and crap.

Just for the record, due to that and other things that have happened to me, I know that I am not now and not ever going to die by my own hand.

Because, I stood up. I turned around. And like Captain America, I said "No. You move."

Well, in my head. I didn't actually say anything to them.

And I stayed.

And that has made all the difference.

I have a great job now that pays moderately well. I have a wonderful aspec girlfriend now. My life still sucks in so many ways but I actually oftentimes see a light at the end of the tunnel. The world is crap and it's going to get crappier but not everything will be bad forever.

Now, we get to the center of the issue, having explained some needed context.

Nonbinary Frisk and Chara.

I love nb Frisk and Chara.

I have not and will never make a Frisk or Chara that is anything but nb.

At one point, a certain Frisk was going to maybe use She/They (or He/They, hadn't decided yet) instead of just They when they became a parent, but I scrapped that idea long before any of this.

It is completely correct to use they/them pronouns when talking about Frisk and Chara in general. These are all that are used in the game itself.

The pertinent question though is does this mean that Frisk and Chara are canonically nonbinary, and what of people who make variants/instances that aren't nonbinary?

Thus far, most of the argument I've seen in favor of nonbinary being a forcible requirement is only slightly more solid than claiming that the Boss in the Saints Row series must be nonbinary, as an example.

Yes, it is true that in SR2 and later, one chooses the boss's sex.

However, they also choose a voice, and the voice doesn't necessarily have to match the physical sex. Trans and NB Bosses are completely plausible within the game's canon. All dialogue just refers to the Boss as They/Them, regardless of player choice, to the best of my knowledge. Or just refers to them as "The Boss". In SR:GOOH, Satan (yes, the literal Prince of Darkness, ruler of literal actual Hell) refers to The Boss as "They" so yeah. Anyways.

Honestly the strongest argument I've seen in favor of NB Frisk and Chara being canon is "Because NB people could use the representation!" Which boils down to "Because I said so!" Which boils down to "Because f*** you, that's why"

Now, I personally love this reasoning and I'm already on board, but with three quirks.

1. I can see why other people may not be so satisfied with this. 2. I cannot see this as an absolute requirement preventing any other possible interpretation of Frisk and Chara being okay. 3. I do not find this a remotely strong enough reasoning to condone attacking other people over it.

I personally headcanon NB Frisks and Charas being by far the dominant kind across the entire Undertale trunk. And I look across the internet at the many, many wonderful creative people who have instanced Frisk and Chara, and I see that this is so. And this is how it should be.

Frisk and Chara are excellent NB representation.

I quite firmly believe Tobyfox intended this to be so, and created them as such.

On a side note, I just found out the "my last wish for undertale is that when discussion of it fades it dies peacefully instead of morphing into a garbage cesspool" tweet was faked. Probably should've figured that out a long time ago, that's not quite how toby tweets.

...

Anyways,

https://twitter.com/UnderTale/status/644614840925978624

Tobyfox, the one who made Frisk and Chara so readily NB, who put so much NB representation into the game in general, did not ask for this. He did not create them to be sticks to beat others with. They were a gift of kindness. To say "Hey. Hey you. You matter and are important and are valid. Have two complex characters who have no indicated and strongly ambiguous gender, not even barriers blocking a particular interpretation."

Thats the kicker. No barriers blocking a particular interpretation. The road goes both ways.

Frisk and Chara were meant to be characters one identified with. "It's me, Chara." "It's you!"

Frisk and Chara ought to be NB, yes. Unless otherwise specified, they're NB.

Thing is, not everyone who plays Undertale is nb.

real shocker there yeah

Point is, hurting someone who's not nb for identifying with Chara or Frisk is on the same level of behavior as yelling at someone for being kin with the same character as someone else, or yelling at someone for selfshipping with the same character as someone else.

It's immature, unkind, greedy, and completely unnecessary. Even illogical.

Even if Frisk and Chara were real in their own timelines and not just pixels on a screen, there are an infinite number of instances and infinite number of variations of them.

Even if infinities don't appease one, and they demand to examine the situation proportion/representation-wise, NB Frisk and Chara dominate the multiverse.

And if that does not satisfy, then what will?

Even if the entire infinite expanse was filled solely with nb Charas and Frisks, and there was only one Frisk across the trunk who was not nb, because they were created by one author in memory of a cis person who played and loved Undertale and fought through the entire game reset after reset, in a fruitless effort to save Asriel, will you rip that from their hands, in the name of "equal representation"?

Will you be like David in the bible, who had more than anyone could ask for, and lost it all because he wanted one last thing? One more person to be theirs as well?

There is a song by Tool which is very relevant here.

https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/tool/rightintwo.html

"Don't these talking monkeys know that Eden has enough to go around? Plenty in this holy garden, silly monkeys, Where there's one you're bound to divide it. Right in two."

I'm sorry, but I cannot condone vitriol over this. I cannot condone such hateful attitude and behaviors.

Just like the antifa who was punched by another antifa at a protest because they judged them by mere appearance to be a fascist, hatred doesn't accomplish anything.

There are times and places when due to the actions of other people, there is no valid choice remaining but violence.

This is seen in Undertale. Even when attempting to run a True Pacifist route, one has to beat down Asgore, and/or Flowey. This was seen back in WWII. We could not allow the Axis powers to enslave the world and murder whomever they wished.

This is not the case here.

Yes, there are those who purposely seek to misgender Frisks and Charas all around. Such folks correctly are rebuffed and banished to the shadows. And people who argue that Frisk or Chara canonically have to be a boy or girl really need to find a new hobby.

Those, if anyone, are the enemy. The lost, clueless, angry, bitter enemy, who need to be talked to and brought into the fold of those who know better, in true Undertale MERCY fashion. Or, if they will not listen, to be sent away, and blocked if harassment continues.

Random creatives on the internet who create a Frisk or Chara, maybe modelled after themselves, maybe after someone else, doens't matter, anyways, who happen to create one that isn't NB are not the enemy. Some young unlearned cis 12 year old who wants to be like Frisk and thinks Frisk is just like them, or that they are Frisk, and has little involvement with NB matters, or perhaps just hasn't yet heard of or seen how well NB and Chara and Frisk go together, is not the enemy.

NB folk have a lot of very, very real enemies. We have a long way to go as a species. Please, do not make up enemies where there are none.

I ask anyone who attacks others solely for having a different idea of Chara and Frisk's gender to please reconsider.

Please, spread NB Frisks and Charas all around the net. Let them enter the hearts of everyone who can appreciate this beautiful game. Not through anger and aggression, but through love and kindness and patience.

If you cannot abide my having such a stance on this, Mel, then I suppose this is farewell if you must break off all contact. And if you must leave, you may keep that commission money, whether or not you ever finish the art.

Thank you to anyone who reads the entirety of my words.

Like Rebel Diamonds

As I listened to Time to Pretend by MGMT at work during those wee hours in the morning, I realized, 16 year old Smokey wouldn’t have given these cats the time of day. At the height of my obnoxious MTV, High School, days, I was a resounding hood. I literally only listened to hip hop and I lived that “thug life” as it were. In retrospect, I was ridiculously narrow sighted about culture and what could be considered “good” music. It was abused but I was product of my environment. Fast forward some 17 years later and I feel like I’ve matured a bit, my tastes have expanded. In that spirit, I wanted to jot down my top 10 records of all time and a little blurb as to why I enjoy each. It should be interesting to see where I land on everything.

1A and 1B - Read My Mind and Mr. Brightside by The Killers

Bro, these records are what music IS to me. I couldn’t really differentiate between the two because, whichever one I’m actively listening to, that’s my all-time favorite song. I can’t really tell you why but I think it has everything to do with the emotion in each record. I FEEL these songs and they legit make me happy. Stress just melts away as those melodies and vocals take me to a warm ass place.

Between Brandon Flowers uncanny ability to emulate the late great Freddie Mercury with his smooth ass vocals and Ronni Vannucci’s god level skill on them drums, it’s hard NOT to put these records on top. The Killers are also my all-time favorite band, if you can’t tell.

3 - Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen

Speaking of the great Freddie Mercury, there’s no way Rhapsody doesn’t make this list. Look. The things Mr. Bad Guy could do with his voice are transcendent and this record puts all of the prowess on display. Never mind the fact that he wrote every lyric and every note of this song. Bro was what every artists should strive to be.

4 - Sleepyhead by Passion Pit

I am a huge fan of this cat’s catalog. His sound is so eclectic and unique. Cats just don’t make music like him and Sleepyhead, for me, is the quintessential Passion Pit record. It’s his magnum opus. It feels very technical, like he meticulously put this thing together like a puzzle. All of that time, energy, and detail produce one of the most profound sounds I have ever heard.

5 - Through The Wire by Kanye West

Way back in 2004, when this song dropped, I was 20. At that time, in my youth, I was kind of transforming into an adult. I was tired of all that bling rap from the late 90s into the early 00s. Don’t get me wrong, I adore me some Back That Azz Up but it was all just too much. I was tired of hearing about chicks getting f*cked and how hard a cat was and how many bullets/ounce of coke some studio gangster moved. I was tired of that Def Jam bullsh*t. And then I heard Through The Wire. Sh*t was a revelation. This was a legit record, with dope ass lyrics, on a dope ass beat, telling me a story about the artist’s most harrowing life experience. It didn’t involve coke or cops or thugs or whatever. It was an honest to goodness classic hip hop record, without all the hip hop stereotypes. I was a fan of Ye for life at that point. For me, The College Dropout is a goddamn classic and it was Through The Wire that introduced it to me.

6 - Killing Me Softly by The Fugees

Roberta Flack dropped this record way back when but Lauryn Hill got her hands on it in 96 and she transformed it into a goddamn masterpiece. Don’t misunderstand me, what Ms. Flack pressed, too, was brilliant in its own right but this is one of those rare circumstances where a cover exceeds the original. It’s rare but is it dope! Lauryn pours her soul over this record and you can feel the heartache on it. I was flabbergasted the first time I heard this long but then she hits that long note. Oh My…

7 – The Less I Know The Better by Tame Impala

Yo, this song hits hard. I was absolutely enthralled with the music itself but Kevin Parker's vocals compliment that instrumental with such precision, I was absolutely enthralled. The first time I listened to this song felt like the first time I hear Mr. Brightside, just a little less. If you don't listen to Tame Impala, you're doing yourself a disservice. Joint also has a dope as video.

8 - Juicy by Notorious B.I.G

It was all a Dream! BIG is the greatest lyricist I have ever heard. He wasn’t crazy prolific, I think cat released 2two albums before he was killed, but you’d be hard-pressed to find another rap record that stands to-to-toe with his catalog. The way dud abused wordplay while taking you on a journey with his storytelling was amazing and Juicy is perfect example of that. He makes you feel like your right there with him as he became the GOAT, before he was declared the GOAT.

9 - Hurt by Johnny Cash

Truth be told, I love old timey country. All of this, modern sh*t is whack as f*ck but you throw some of that Grand Ole Opry on and I’m good to go. Conway Twitty and Dolly Parton are immediate favorites that come to mind but it’s the Man in Black, all day. I love all of his music. Cat is a damn fine storytelling and his distinctly gravely voice caters to those tales perfectly. I remember seeing the video to Hurt when I was young and it devastated me. It made me remember a lot of stuff I didn’t want and I ended up crying by the end. Like, sobbing. It was cathartic. I was carrying so much, for so long, and this record broke that dam like it was nothing. Music is amazing that way but to have such a profound reaction to this song? I don’t know, man but it’s in my list forever now.

10 - Pressure by Milk & Bone

I first heard this record at the end of a Letterkenny episode. Side note, if you’re not about Letterkenny, you corny as f*ck. Anyway, the second those vocals hit, i was awash in a warmth i can’t describe. This record makes me think of my chick. It soundtracks the highlights of us. It’s absolutely found it’s way into my being and i adore every second of it’s melodic, delicate, affectionate melody.

It’s a rather eclectic list, if I do say so myself. Good sprinkling of genres in there. I feel mildly proud of myself. I thought for sure it would be all post punk and 80s revival because, I mean, I am an 80s baby but I like what shook out. I feel like there’s a solid nine songs there. As much as I love Journey, there’s probably fifty songs that could take that ten spot. Honestly. It was actually mad easy to get through this list, too, which surprised me. Outside of the first three records, I figured I’d be more conflicted but nope. The heart wants what it wants I guess.