#i need a giant fucking cake and i need a fork
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if one more thing happens. respectfully. i am going to Lose It
#yknow that one clip of the bugs life stick bug#where hes like 'im going to SNAP im going to SNAP'#yah thats ya boi bogathan over here#ITS ALWAYS FUCKIN SOMETHIN!!! HUH!!!!#oh motel pillow. we're really in it now#can i go... One Week... without a bad development to my Situation....#i need a giant fucking cake and i need a fork#and i need to demolish that shit on the floor#no no yknow what i need?#weed and an entire rotisserie chicken. On The Floor.#Also A Cake. Always Cake.#and a cantaloupe. maybe i should go get those marinated garlic cloves and chow down#heat up tonights steak. god i wish i brought my tablet i need to Scribble#BITING CLAWING MAIMING#absolutely unprompted#sorry venting again on main Look Away#im not even upset at this point im just mad#like the shrek meme - CAN YOU SHUT UP!!! FOR FIVE MINUTES!!!!!#and the shit starts comin and it dont stop comin and it dont stop comin and it dont stop comin and it dont-#at least ive got my stepdad in my corner smh#hes the real hero here#well i have a bunch of dc fics to catch up on. might as well do that!
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I went to IHop with my some of my cousins and aunts, and we had a great time! Dark outside and barely any folks inside. I ordered a chocolate milkshake, and when it was delivered I threw up my hands and went "Yippee~!" out of unfiltered reflex. The waiter found it very funny thankfully.
All was well, though I couldn't eat all my pancakes. They were very large stacks... And my little cousin told me her Grandma said said something about me!
"She (me) isn't a boy. her name is (Deadname)" after someone at the table brought up my name being Jack. And my reaction was to stop my struggle with stabbing my giant mound of pancakes to point at my younger cousin with a gay wrist flick of the fork, in a high pitch girly-boy tone
"Well maybe grandma-ma needs to mind her own fucking business, mwah~?" before continuing the rampage on my breakfast cakes.
#i packed them up to go at the end and forgot to bring em with me...sad#they were so big. i didnt expect them to be so big...#anywhoo that Grandma needs to mind her own business. Im not nearly that shy anymore#I like to think i can be mature but when transphobes make me uncomfy. i decide all bets are off and i will make us both uncomfortable#hand in unlovable hand
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Life As We Know It {Chapter 19}
Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.
Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.
Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays. Occasional surprise chapters could be posted at miscellaneous times. Chapters will be posted on both my and Tara’s blogs! >> @tacmc.
Life As We Know It Masterlist
Shelby’s Masterlist
Tara’s Masterlist
A/N: Well, we promised a chapter today, so we decided to follow through on that. Even if we did post a surprise chapter last night. Oh, well. Enjoy! 🙃✨
Cassian sighed as he opened his eyes.
Another year older, another year wiser.
Well.
Another year older, anyway.
He blinked as he looked at the alarm clock on the nightstand. 7:58. Two minutes before his alarm would have gone off.
He hated when that happened, when his mind woke him up just before his alarm went off. There was no time to go back to sleep, it was perfect sleeping time wasted.
It was bullshit.
With a yawn, Cassian swung his legs over the side of his bed and got up. He stumbled to his dresser and pulled on a pair of sweatpants, just in time for his alarm to go off.
“Fuck you,” he muttered, quickly turning it off before flinging open his bedroom door.
It smelled delicious.
He meandered down the stairs and into the kitchen, where Nesta was icing a giant cake.
Her eyes darted to his.
He blinked.
“Get out!” she ordered.
“What the hell are you-.”
“Out!” she ordered, yet again.
Nyx babbled something at the top of his lungs that closely resembled, YEAH!
He did as he was told, blearily blinking as he stumbled back into the living room. He dragged a hand down his face. “Can I at least have some coffee?”
“In a minute!” She called and he heard quick footsteps, followed by the back door opening and closing. It opened again and she said, breathlessly, “Okay. You can come in now.”
Tentatively, Cassian rounded the corner and he found Nesta placing a platter of cinnamon rolls on the counter in place of the—
“Where did the cake go?” He asked, raising an eyebrow as he poured himself a cup of coffee.
Nesta was lifting a cinnamon roll onto each of the plates in front of her, cutting the one for Nyx into tiny bites for him. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
He blinked again, half-wondering if he’d imagined the decorated monstrosity he’d seen on the counter, but he sniffed, smelling the air again.
It mostly smelled like the sweet and spicy scent of cinnamon, but—
No, that was definitely cake he smelled.
“Right…” he said, pulling forks out of the silverware drawer and setting one next to each plate. “You’re up early.”
“Had a lot to do before renovations start this morning. I’m meeting Helion and the contractor at the restaurant at nine.” She sipped her own coffee, not looking at him. Mixing truth and lies, it seemed, since he knew she was meeting the contractor this morning. As for a lot to do, he knew everything at the restaurant was already taken care of. She cleared her throat. “I wasn’t expecting you to be up so early either.”
Cutting into the gooey cinnamon roll, he said, “I gotta be at the bar in an hour. I’m talking with Kallias this morning before my shift starts.”
She set her coffee down and finally looked at him. “You have to work today?”
“Yeah,” he replied, popping the bite of pastry into his mouth. He resisted the urge to moan. “It’s Tuesday. I always work on Tuesdays.”
She hesitated, deciding whether she should speak or not. “But it’s your birthday.”
He couldn’t stop his smirk. He knew there had been a cake.
“And who told you that?” He asked, leaning over to wipe Nyx’s face off. The poor kid had icing all over his face, all the way up into his hair.
“That’s not important,” she said.
“Elain, then,” Cassian went on with a grin.
Nesta pretended like she hadn’t heard him and took a giant bite of her cinnamon roll.
“I’ll take Nyx with me to the bar,” Cassian said. “Viviane texted. She has the stomach flu.”
Nesta cringed. “That sucks. I...wait - you’re taking a baby to a bar?”
Cassian shrugged. “He’ll be fine. I only have to stay until two or so.”
“A baby,” she repeated, blinking. “To a bar.”
“You prefer to take him into a construction zone?” Cassian asked. “One that you’re in charge of? That sounds stressful.”
Nesta’s eyes narrowed. “I can ask Elain to watch-.”
“I’m taking him with me and he’ll be fine,” Cassian said, shaking his head. “I promise.”
Nesta narrowed her eyes. And he held up both hands. “I promise,” he repeated.
“Fine. But call me if you need to and I’ll come get him,” she sighed, shaking her head. “I’ll be in my office most of the day, so it’s not like he’ll be running around in a construction zone.”
“And I’ll take the carrier and physically wear him all day, so it’s not like he’ll be running around the actual bar.”
Nesta groaned. “Fine. Fine. But take the pack-n-play, his monitor and toys. He can entertain himself well enough.”
“Okay,” Cassian nodded, finishing off his cinnamon roll. He pulled Nyx out of his high chair, who was now playing with and wearing most of his food, rather than eating it, and said, “I’ll give him a bath while you get ready.”
“Okay.” He was nearly in the living room when he heard, “Cass?” He turned and looked back at her, still not completely used to the familiar nickname from her. She was blushing slightly. “Happy birthday.”
Smiling, he said, “Thanks,” and turned to head up the stairs.
Maybe today wouldn’t be so bad after all.
*
“Any birthday plans?”
“You’re looking at it.”
Kallias chuckled as he observed Cassian, a wiggly baby strapped to his chest, counting the liquor bottles that lined the wall.
“How old are you anyway?” he continued, wiping down the bartop. “Thirty? Thirty-one?”
“You wound me,” Cassian muttered, scribbling a number down on his clipboard, not bothering to tell Kallias just how close to thirty he was getting to.
“I would say we should do shots to celebrate your big day,” Kallias began, taking Nyx’s outstretched hand. “But, I think your little housewife would disapprove.”
Cassian snorted. “If Nesta Archeron ever heard you call her such a thing, you’d lose a very important body part.”
“Not interested in that, thank you very much,” he muttered. “She ever gonna stop in, so I can see this terrifying woman you’ve told me about?”
“About that…” Cassian pulled Nyx out of the carrier and carried him into the back office, setting him down in the play pen. Grabbing the baby monitor, he made his way back into the front room.
Kallias looked up from where he was cutting limes at the bar. “About what?”
He leaned a hip on the bar and crossed his arms over his chest. “Nesta is going to be expanding the restaurant, adding a bar. That’s actually where she is right now, why I’ve got the kiddo with me. Didn’t really want him in a construction site.”
“Hot nanny couldn’t keep him?” Kallias asked, grinning.
Cassian rolled his eyes. “No, she’s sick. But, uh-.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m gonna be leaving and going over there, managing for her.”
Kallias eyes widened. “Oh. Shit.”
“Yeah. And I’d like you to come over there with me. Be my assistant manager at the new place.”
Kallias stopped cutting, mid-lime. “You do realize we are two out of five people that work here, right?”
Cassian nodded, slowly. “Yeah, I do. And I also know we can hire more people here.”
Kallias looked back down at his half-cut lime. “Assistant manager, huh?”
“It’s in a great part of town, we’d get amazing tips on top of already being paid more,” Cassian said. “It’s an amazing opportunity.”
“So I’d be stupid to say no, then?” Kallias asked, continuing to cut his limes.
“Incredibly stupid,” Cassian agreed.
Nyx’s happy babbling came through on the baby monitor.
“I’ll think about it,” Kallias said, at last.
“Think about it, then tell me yes, because I’m not going there without you,” Cassian said.
Kallias snorted. “You’re a shitty liar. You’re going, whether I go or not.”
“And why wouldn’t you come with me?” Cassian asked, facing his friend. He and Kallias had worked together for years, since Kallias came in at twenty-one, during his senior year of college. “You want to be stuck in this dive bar forever? I know you. You’re a creature of habit. If I leave you here, you’ll be here for the next twenty years.”
Kallias didn’t bother telling him it wasn’t true. He just shook his head. “I guess we better start interviewing people, then.”
*
The day did not go as planned. Cassian had to stay and help out until nearly five-thirty, and by the time Cassian walked in the front door, Nyx was knocked out cold in his car seat. He gently set it down and unbuckled him, carrying him into the kitchen. It smelled divine, like roasting herbs and cooked veggies, even if he couldn’t see anything radiating the delicious smells.
Nesta was also nowhere in sight, so he took Nyx up to his nursery and laid him down, setting the baby monitor back up where it usually sat. He slipped the screen in his back pocket and made his way back downstairs, hurrying out to his truck to get Nyx’s diaper bag and the folded up playpen.
As he was setting it back up in the living room, he heard the sliding glass door open and close and made sure he was making enough noise to alert Nesta of his presence.
“You’re home,” she said, leaning on the doorway. “Nyx asleep?”
“Out like a light,” he said, tossing the few toys he’d brought with him back into the pen. “He had fun though.”
“Good. Dinner is almost done,” she smiled. “I hope you’re hungry.”
“Starving,” he sighed and took another deep breath in. “It smells amazing.”
Turning, Nesta walked back into the kitchen. “Steak, garlic mashed potatoes, roasted carrots and green beans, and homemade rolls.”
He watched as she took the carrots and green beans out of the oven and placed them next to a plate of steak she must have just brought in from the grill.
Cassian’s mouth was damn near watering.
He looked at the spread as she spooned the mashed potatoes onto his plate. “I think I’m in love with you.”
Nesta tensed, then something like nervous laughter sputtered out of her mouth. “Well, I had to cook red meat for you on your birthday.”
“Does that mean you’ll be having yourself a steak, Archeron?” he asked, taking the full plate from her outstretched hands.
She gave him an amused look. “Hell no. You get both. I have a chicken kabob on the grill.”
Cassian licked his lips as he took his plate to the table. “Consider me a lucky man. Thank you.”
“Of course,” she said, clearing her throat. She piled her plate high with potatoes and veggies before going onto the deck and coming back with a grilled chicken kabob on her plate. She sat across from him. Cassian’s mouth was already full.
“How is it?” Nesta asked, cutting up a carrot before popping it into her mouth.
“Delicious,” Cassian said, mouth full. “So good.”
“If you don’t slow down, you won’t be able to enjoy the flavor,” Nesta said, knowing full well that he wouldn’t listen.
Cassian practically inhaled everything on his plate within minutes.
He moaned, stretching back in his chair before running a hand through his hair. “I must say, Nes, you really outdid yourself.”
“Well, it was the least I could do after you worked and were on baby duty all day,” she said, popping a few green beans in her mouth.
They talked about their days as she finished eating. He told her about Kallias’ agreement to move to the restaurant, she told him about the beginning of construction.
They’d kept half the restaurant open, putting up a temporary wall to keep as much noise and dust out as they could, but the sooner the build was done the better. They both agreed on that.
“So, despite your switch with the cinnamon rolls this morning,” Cassian said from where he sat as she rinsed off their plates, “I’m fairly sure I saw a cake when I came downstairs.”
“Really now,” she said, and he saw the small smile on her face.
“Mhmm,” he nodded. “And, you know, I like cake.”
“And why, exactly, would I make you a cake?” She crooned, that little smile remaining.
“Because I’m the world's best roommate and uncle, obviously,” he said.
Nesta laughed as she stood. “Yeah, whatever.”
After exiting through the back door, she returned a moment later with a big, homemade cake.
It was exquisite.
Perfectly decorated and topped with vanilla and buttercream frosting, it read Happy birthday, Cassian!
As Nesta placed it on the countertop, Cassian asked, “Nesta, when the hell did you find time to make this?”
She shrugged. “Stayed up later and got up early. Didn’t have to be too early since you decided to sleep in today, but…” Her words trailed off. “I figured it was the least I could do.”
His mouth tightened, emotion he wasn’t expecting hitting him and he cleared his throat. “You gonna sing to me?” He asked, cracking a joke to break the tension that was slowly growing.
Nesta threw her head back and laughed. “Absolutely not.”
Cassian bit back his retort and the monitor in his back pocket went off, crying coming from upstairs.
“I’ll get him,” she said, standing up. “I’m sure he’s hungry. Will you cut up green beans and carrots for him?”
He nodded, the cake forgotten as he did what he was told, and Nesta returned with a bleary-eyed Nyx a few minutes later.
“Hi buddy,” Cassian said, chuckling at Nyx’s hazy expression. He was already sitting at the table with a plate of cut up food.
The second Nyx saw the display, he was whining and reaching for it.
“Slow down, you need to be buckled into your seat first,” Nesta said, shaking her head.
“I can’t blame him,” Cassian said, as Nyx was strapped into his high chair. “I’m starving when I wake up, too.”
Nesta rolled her eyes. “Men.”
The second Nyx’s diapered butt hit the seat, he was stuffing his mouth.
“I guess we should wait for him to eat the cake,” Cassian said, looking longingly at the cake.
Nesta chuckled. “No patience?”
“When it comes to homemade baked goods?” Cassian scoffed. “No.”
She snorted, which had Cassian raising an eyebrow. She looked at him. “What?”
“Nothing,” he replied, shaking his head. “That was just…cute.”
Nesta didn’t reply, but he swore she could see her cheeks heating as she turned to put the leftovers from dinner away.
Once Nyx’s plate was cleared, Nesta cut three slices of cake. One was barely a sliver, one was mostly icing and one was damn near a quarter of the cake. She took the one with extra frosting for herself, placing the small one in front of Nyx and the larger one in front of Cassian.
Again, Nyx wasted no time scarfing it down. Cassian didn’t either, helping himself to another, much smaller piece afterwards, but not touching it yet.
“You sure you don’t want to sing to me?” He asked, taking a bite of the cake. “It would complete my day.”
Nyx, an impending sugar crash, was already dozing again. Apparently, his day with Uncle Cassian had well and truly worn him out.
She rolled her eyes and wiped the excess cake off of Nyx’s face. Pulling him out of his high chair, she said, “No, I think I’m good.”
“I’m just saying,” Cassian pushed. “If you wanted to really wish me a happy birthday, a song would do.”
Nesta snorted, taking Nyx in her arms and swaying, back and forth. “You’ve never heard me sing.”
“If your singing is as good as your cooking, it must be amazing,” Cassian promised.
Nesta rolled her eyes. “Have I told you that you’re full of shit?”
Cassian pretended to debate it. “Maybe once or twice.”
Nesta chuckled, and said no more about it. “Finish your cake, Nazari. This little monster is ready for bed. I’ll put him down. It’s your birthday.”
It wasn’t that putting Nyx to bed was exhausting. Although sometimes it could be a chore, Cassian nodded and took another bite of his cake as Nesta and Nyx disappeared.
In their absence, Cassian cleared his plate.
The cake was delicious.
He knew Nesta was an amazing cook, but didn’t know that her baking skills were just as good. It was the best cake he had ever eaten. He was even considering getting himself a third piece, but decided against it as she rounded the corner back into the kitchen.
She sighed, falling into her chair. “That may have been record time to get him down. He was practically asleep before I’d even pulled the curtains shut.”
“He had a big day,” Cassian said, eyeing the piece of cake on her plate that she hadn’t even touched. “Taught him how to make a mojito. He’s a pro. Maybe we should hire him on at the bar.”
Shaking her head, Nesta cut into her cake and took a bite. She chuckled. “I’m sure that doesn’t violate any labor laws.”
“Nah, we’re his guardians,” Cassian said, waving a hand. “We can certainly get some free labor out of him.”
She rolled her eyes. “I honestly can’t tell if you’re kidding or not.” She took another bite of cake, and Cassian’s eyes dipped to her mouth. He was quiet for long enough that she asked, “What?”
He hesitated but said, “You’ve got a little—”
He didn’t finish his sentence, instead he leaned forward across the small space between them and swiped the frosting that was on the corner of her lips away with his thumb.
Nesta didn’t move.
She didn’t push him away, didn’t tell him to stop touching her, either.
Cassian’s thumb lingered against her lips, and when she looked up, he was already watching her, quietly.
She opened her mouth to say something.
What? She wasn’t sure.
But, when her lips moved, Cassian’s did, too.
He kissed her, softly, slowly, and Nesta melted right into it.
#snacmc lawki#snacmc collabs#snelbz tacmc collab#life as we know it#lawki#acotar#acomaf#acowar#acofas#acosf
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peculiar prompt: soulmate au where your dick is the same exact length as your soulmate’s (i guess everyone has a dick in this universe idk 😂) anyways drarry discovering they are soulmates in whatever convoluted way you would like!
Nine and Three Quarters
Summer weddings were an unlikely tradition for a family that ran high to freckles and sunburns, but Harry didn't mind. Usually.
This wedding, though, he'd have just as soon not attended. It wasn't that he harbored any romantic intentions toward Charlie, but seeing him so bloody happy made Harry keenly aware of his own solitude.
Charlie and Constantin fed each other forkfuls of cake and grinned. They were perfectly-matched. Identical white short sleeve dress shirts and gold waistcoats, sparkling blue eyes and mirrored grins as they threatened each other with blobs of icing, much to Molly's horror.
Their matching gold rings felt like an extension of the tattoos on the underside of their left forearms. Charlie's was a dragon, of course. Constantin's was a crouched hippogriff. They were exactly the same size, but different designs and colors.
Forearm tattoos abounded among gay wizards, but it had taken seeing Charlie and Constantin together for him to notice the pattern. A plate of cake floated to his table and set itself down in front of him. He picked it apart with his fork, separating the layers of frosting out from the the cake, then mashed the fluffy cake down into a pellet.
A breathless Charlie flopped into an empty chair next to him and surveyed the wreckage on his plate.
"Got a grudge against that cake?"
"Huh? Oh. No. Sorry."
Charlie slid Harry's cake away, probably for its own good. Constantin and Fleur fox-trotted past, and one of them reached out to ruffle Charlie's hair.
"No date?"
"Nah." Harry licked his fork clean, rolled the bits of cake around in his mouth, and wished he'd have eaten the slice.
"Still doing the playboy thing, eh?"
Harry shrugged. "I guess."
Charlie huffed a laugh. "You guess? What else would you be doing at clubs?"
Harry shrugged again.
"Well, if you get tired of it and want the name of a really good soulmate tattoo artist, let me know." Charlie wiped up a dab of frosting off Harry's plate and popped his finger in his mouth. "Until then, enjoy hunting in the dark."
Charlie rose to leave, but Harry reached out and grabbed him by the buckle on the back of his waistcoat.
"Soulmate tattoos?"
--
--
"But I thought the tattoo went on my arm."
Harry kept his hands in his jeans pockets, just in case the man decided to help him disrobe.
"It does..."
Bushy grey eyebrows rose in speculation, and the man's brown eyes squinted at Harry, unsure of whether Harry was playing a prank, playing dumb, or playing at nothing.
"So why would I take my trousers off?"
"Riiiggght," he said slowly, gently spinning back and forth on his stool. "Why don't you tell me what you do know about soulmate tattoos."
Harry hooked his thumbs in his pockets and looked around the tattoo parlour for clues, but there was nothing but drawings on the walls. Pictures of forearms, too, all with differing sizes of beasts and creatures on them.
"Uhm," Harry started, "they go on forearms." The man nodded and motioned for him to continue. "And... they're... magic?"
The man shook his head and sighed. "The death of gay wizard culture, I swear. I blame that app."
"Wait, there's an app for-"
"Soulmate tattoos are the size of the wearer's dick."
Every tattoo Harry had ever seen ran through his head at once, and he stood slack-jawed for what felt like hours.
The man continued. "And so part of getting one is getting your dick measured. Professionally."
"I... Uh..."
"Men lie on the app. That's why all these boys are running around thinking they don't have soulmates, but older men know better. Back in the day, we'd just walk up to a bloke, line our arms up, and pair off."
Harry looked at the ceiling and tried to imagine a scenario in which that didn't sound both terrifying and oddly comforting.
"Why would you line them up?"
The man stared at him for a long. fucking. time.
"Soulmate dicks match, kid." He grumbled something about the Internet. "Now do you want the tattoo or not?"
"I... Uhm... Maybe later?"
"Suit yourself."
--
There had to be a better way to do this.
Harry balanced on tip-toe, focused on his dick with one eye, and dipped his quill. His tongue peeked out a corner of his lips as he concentrated on tracing around his shaft.
Was the quill angled accurately? Was the nib too far from his skin to be accurate? Was width even relevant?
He let out a held breath and dropped down to his heels. The paper on his desk was an embarrassment.
"Looks like a fucking caterpillar," he grumbled to himself.
Maybe they made enchanted quills for this.
--
The nook of art supplies at Flourish and Blotts was overwhelming, but it smelled good. Needle-sharp enchanted nibs sounded like a terrible idea. Image-grabbing paper sounded equally dangerous. What if he got his dick stabbed or absorbed into a piece of paper?
Someone cleared their throat behind him.
"Can I help you?"
Draco Malfoy met his eyes with a hesitant smile. He looked strangely at home surrounded by paper and ink. He wore a rumpled black t-shirt that advertised in bold white letters "Truth Quills: The Reign of Error Ends Here".
"Uhm... maybe?"
"What kind of project are you working on?"
"I'm... just... tracing something?"
Draco nodded and reached up to grab a pack of nibs just above Harry's head. The Dark Mark on his forearm caught Harry's eye. It wasn't a Dark Mark anymore. The skull wore a crown of red roses, and the snake had been filled in with vibrant yellow and blue markings. Harry decided it looked a bit like a Grateful Dead album cover. But prettier.
"These are good for most projects if you're just starting out."
Draco handed him a plastic box with more thingamajigs than he had any idea what to do with.
"Uhm, okay. Thanks."
"No problem." Draco's eyes wandered down to Harry's forearm and his smile faltered. "Anything else?"
"No, I think I'm good."
--
He wasn't good. He was nowhere near good, and he had black ink all over his dick. Also on his hands, and the table, and the floor, but those were less important.
"Looks like a goddamn Holstein dong."
--
"Alright," Draco said, and his smile was bordering on a smirk. "But what's the reference? What are you trying to trace?"
A dozen dick-shaped things came to mind, and Harry blurted, "A banana."
Draco did not laugh. Not with his mouth. Just with his eyes. His t-shirt today said "Blink Ink: Drier than your ex" in jagged black script.
"Mm hm," Draco squeaked through his nose. "Is accuracy important?"
Harry let out a relieved sigh. "Yes."
Draco cleared his throat and schooled his face. "Here."
He handed Harry a Truth Quill. "That ought to give you an accurate outline of your... banana."
--
"Hot damn!"
Harry held the outline of his cock up to the light. Damned if it wasn't perfect. He laid it face-down on his forearm and frowned. How was he supposed to get it onto his skin?
--
Draco faked a cough and covered his mouth and nose with his hand. "Pardon?"
"I need to transfer it."
"But a backlight won't work because..."
"Uhm... it can't... light can't go through the... other... thing."
Draco's t-shirt today had a frilly, looping font that said, "Nearotica: Almost There."
"Dare I ask what material you're transferring this banana onto?"
Harry focused on Draco's forearm, and the curve of the roses, and the sinewy body of the snake.
"Uhm... leather?"
Draco shot him a challenging look Harry didn't understand. "I suppose you'd want a cautery tool for that."
"Uhm... okay."
--
He wasn't okay. He had two burned dots on his forearm, and a hole in his paper at the base and tip of the outline.
Over a hundred galleons spent, and all he had to show for it were what looked like two mosquito bites that were exactly one penis-length apart.
The hell with all of it.
--
Harry dropped bags of barely-used art supplies on the store counter, and Draco's chin snapped up. He cocked his head and looked at the bags while Harry read his t-shirt: "Thrill Your Darlings: Tropes and Nopes."
"Didn't work out?" Draco asked.
Harry bent down, rested his elbows on the counter, and shook his head. "Can I return it?"
Draco shrugged. "Store credit, since it's all been opened."
Harry buried his face in his hands. "I'll take it in coloring books."
"I'll throw in some markers."
Draco shot him a pitying smile and stood to collect the bags. His eyes caught on the two burn marks on Harry's forearm. He set his elbow next to Harry's and pressed their wrists together.
"Huh," Draco exhaled. He rolled his tattoo against Harry's forearm. The peak of the rose crown touched the mark nearest Harry's wrist, and the snake's tail met the other.
Harry stared at their arms, wide-eyed and panicked in the best way.
"Is it-" Harry started. "Do they, uhm..."
"I... do believe so. If your banana outline was accurate."
Harry gulped. "It was."
"Huh," Draco repeated. "Well, in that case, there's a giant mandala coloring poster I've had my eye on, but it's a bit much for one person."
Harry let a grin spread across his face. "Consider it sold."
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Incorrect Quotes 3
Sorry for not updating in a while, anyway, Merry Christmas! Heres Incorrect Quotes 3!
Ships:
Crossmare
Errorink
Dustberry
Scifell
Horrorlust
Driller/Kreme
Afterdeath
Fandom: Undertale AU’s
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Blue: I'd like to address Ink's annoying personal habits.
Ink: Oh my God! What personal habits?
Blue: I have a list. FYI overuse of the phrase "Oh my God" is number 12.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dream: I'm sorry for all the stuff I said.
Ink: And for punching me in the face?
Dream: No, you definitely deserved that.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ink: It's a good thing I still have this sexy cat costume!
Blue: I really don't think you were the target audience for that costume.
Lust: There is nothing gendered about a sexy cat.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blue: I made tea.
Ink: I don't want tea.
Blue: I didn't make tea for you. This is my tea.
Ink: Then why are you telling me?
Blue: It's a conversation starter.
Ink: That's a lousy conversation starter.
Blue: Oh, is it? We're conversing. Checkmate
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ink: Am I cool or what?
Geno: What.
Ink: I said, am I cool or-
Geno: Yeah, I heard you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ink: You go big or you go home. And you don’t seem like the kind of person that goes home.
Cross: I’m not. I don’t even really have a home.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dust: Those pants look great, and I bet they’d look even better on Horror’s floor.
Horror: Are you hitting on Lust... for me?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Killer: I've lied to every girl I said "I love you" to. I thought I loved them but then I met you and realized I've never been in love before.
Dream: Aw. I did not know that.
Killer: Yeah, it was eating me up inside. So, I called them each individually and said "I never loved you."
Dream: Okay, that seems unnecessary.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blue: We're going mattress shopping.
Dust: You know, once we get it, we'll have to break it in.
Blue: Oh, I hear what you're saying. Mattress trampoline.
Dust:
Blue: Wait, no. You were talking about sex.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blue: Uh oh.
Fell: What?
Blue: Somebody's in love.
Fell: Yeah, right. I just think Sci’s cool. It's not like I lay awake at night thinking about him.
Fell, later that night: shit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dream: You guys just got back together. You might not want to ditch him on his birthday.
Blue: I think Dream has a point. You can see it another day.
Ink: But someone might spoil the movie. No one can spoil Error's birthday for me. Surprise, he's even older. Who saw that coming?
Dream: Aww, that's nice. Put that on his cake.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dust: We're lost.
Horror: Lost? As in "where the hell are we?"
Dust: We're not totally lost. We're still in Waterfall.
Killer: You said this was a shortcut.
Dust: It is a shortcut! Look how fast we got lost!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Killer: Before I do anything, I ask myself, would Dust do that? And if the answer is yes, I do not do that thing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cross: Nightmare, I typed up your symptoms into the thing up here, and it says you may have network connectivity problems.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cross: I would have been here sooner but the bus kept stopping for other people to get on it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dust: How do you keep your pants up when battling? Its incredible!
Error:
Error: belt.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dust: Nightmare!! Theres an ugly monster under my bed!
Killer (who is on the bottom bunk of the bunk bed): Alright. Screw you too!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dream: You took so long in the shower!
Ink: Yeah sorry, I was at a concert.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cross: Holy crap, you’re so violent-
Error: Yeah, but i'm short so it's adorable.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nightmare: I scared them again didn’t I?
Cross: They’re terrified of you-
Nightmare:
Nightmare: That makes me so happy!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ink: Error?
Error: What?
Ink: You kicked me in your sleep!
Error: ….who said I was asleep?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Horror: Why would you give Dust a knife?!
Killer: He felt unsafe.
Horror: Well now I feel unsafe!
Killer: …...would you like a knife as-well?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Error: Okay, lets stop using the term ‘butt-hurt’. We are adults not 12 year olds.
Cross: You sound fannytroubled.
Ink: A little bootybothered if you asked me.
Dust: Someones having a tushytantrum
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nightmare: HAS ANYONE SEEN MY SONS?!
Nightmare: OH GOD HORROR!
Nightmare: THAT MOTHERS ADRENALINE IS KICKING IN-
Nightmare: DUST!
Nightmare: I CAN SEE EVERY EQUATION!!
Nightmare: Excuse me ma’am?! Have you seen my sons?! They’re about this tall- all clearly gay but we havent had the talk.
Nightmare: KILLER ARE YOU IN THERE?!
Nightmare: *kicks down trash can violently*
Error:
Error: Cross control your boyfriend jesus-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Enjoy some quotes from Disney/Nickelodeon Shows!: (I uh- also added some cusswords lol-)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dust: I'M PREGNANT-
Killer: You’re not pregnant!
Horror: Wait- who’s pregnant?!
Dust: ME!
Horror: Congratulations!
Killer: He’s not pregnant!
Dust: Easy Killz! I’m with child-!
Killer: You’re not with child!
Horror: I’m gonna be an uncle!!!
Killer: YOU’RE NOT GONNA BE AN UNCLE!
Horror: Then who’s gonna teach the little guy how to ride a bike?!
Error: Calm down Dust! You’re not pregnant.
Dust: Then why am I so moody and nauseous?!
Dust: I think it's the morning sickness!
Error: ...Dust…
Error: you’re a boy.
Dust: ...oh yeah-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sci: Sorry, but the convertants of air streams coming from the vents are creating a dangerous draft on the guest chair.
Blue: Alright...but if I catch a cold and start coughing and sneezing uncontrollably it will be on you. LITERALLY-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blue: Ink! Geno! Please..! Violence is never the solution-
Blue: *gets hit in the face by a pillow and falls down*
Blue: HECK WITH THE NON-VIOLENCE..! I AM ON YOU LIKE STRIPES ON A TIGER-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Killer: *snoring on the couch*
Nightmare: Awww- he fell asleep mid clean! I’ll wake him.
Nightmare: KILLER!!!!
Killer: AHH! *sprays cleaning spray on Nightmare’s face*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cross: Who took all my scarfs?! I need them for tomorrow--
Dust swinging on a rope made out of cross’s scarfs: *doing a tarzan yell and crashing into the kitchen*
Dust coming out of the kitchen with spoons forks and knifes on him: Now that was awesome!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sci: Well...I brought a book you could read-
Ink: NOOOOOOOOO- *runs away*
Sci: Too easy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blue: I'm a hugger!!!!
Dust: I'M A HUGGIE-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Killer: I did not see that coming.
Killer: *gets smacked in the arm by a drone* OW!
Nightmare: Apparently you don't see a lot of things coming.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Horror: ...what's that?
A random stranger: It's lasagna… and it's for a Christmas Party I’m going to.
Horror: We could have a party right now-!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cross: What are you all getting Nightmare for his birthday?
Killer: A slightly used lip balm.
Dust: A free hug.
Error: My profound admiration.
Horror: *picks up salt shaker* This salt shaker.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ink: Oh, this is my chum bucket! I’m going to catch a giant squid and tame it!
Dream: ...you’re a weird kid.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lust: Now all we have to do is wait for the guests to show up!
Lust:
Blue:
Lust: Oh...we forgot to invite people….
Blue: Yup, sure did-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nightmare: Its not like anybody died…!
Dream: We haven't seen the rest of the tape…..
Nightmare:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Killer: IS THAT A TATTOO?!
Killer while rubbing Dust’s arm: COME OFF COME OFF COME OFF!!!
Dust: Hey! The only thing coming off is my arm!
Killer: What am I going to tell Nightmare?! Oh….oh! I got it! We’ll just cut off your arm!
Cross: Good idea! Because that's easier to explain then a tattoo.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Horror and Dust: *battling with pool noodles*
Blue laying on the ground: HALT!
Horror and Dust: …?
Blue: Does anyone have a pillow? This ground is really hard!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Killer: Nightmare can you do me a big favor…?
Nightmare: You need a handsome man to go with you to the reunion? No problem...I’ll do it!
Killer: I meant to see if you could call one of your friends or your brother but uh-
Nightmare: *death stare*
Killer: okay...you’ll do-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dust: Two days to learn a language?
Dust: I got some spanish for ya! No way Jose- haha!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cross: And I’m sorry I said he was my favorite-
Horror: It's alright Dad! To be honest, I always preferred Nightmare.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dream: I know there is still some good left in you!
Nightmare: No there isn’t-! Wait.
Nightmare: *visibly cringing*
Nightmare referring to Passive Night: Agrh! There's still a piece of good. DARN IT!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dust: *pretends to yawn to sling his arm over Blue to dim the lights*
Dust: Do you mind?
Blue: Not at all. While we’re at it.
Blue: *throws one of Error’s puppets at the radio to play some convenient romantic music*
Blue and Dust: *about to kiss on the couch*
Horror in the kitchen doorway: *holding a glass of milk* What are you doing?
Blue and Dust: AH! HORROR!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ink: What are you saying? That I’m dumb?!
Error: Well- no… you’re just not very….thinky.
Ink: Thinky? Why did you say that?!
Error: Because Geno told me I cant call you dumb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dream: Hey Killer? Can you get me some punch?
Killer: Sure, I’ll be right back.
Passive Nightmare: Cross? Can you get me some punch too?
Cross: What? Your feet dont work?
Passive:
Cross: Ice or no ice…?
Passive: Surprise me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nightmare: If you all want your phones….
Nightmare: *shows box of phones* They’re right here.
Blue:
Dream:
Horror:
Dust:
Killer:
Ink:
Blue visibly shaking:
Dream: Blue…
Blue starts vibrating a bit:
Dream: Blue.
Blue starts vibrating:
Dream: BluE-
Blue: *war scream*
Everyone except Nightmare and Blue: OH SHIT-
Blue: I NEED MY PHONE- *starts running at nightmare*
Everyone else: BLUE NO *tries to restrain Blue*
Blue screaming: *kicks Ink in the stomach causing him to fall backwards*
Dust and Horror screaming: *trying to hold Blues legs and arms*
Blue still screaming: *elbows Horror in the ribs*
Horror letting go of Blue: OW!!
Dust accidentally lets his grip loosen on Blue: HOLY SHIT! HORROR?!
Blue who is still screaming: *pushing Dust to the ground and running at the box* I NEED MY PHONE-
Killer: *tackles Blue*
Dream: *helping Killer restrain Blue*
Ink: *confused screaming*
Nightmare: *laughing*
Blue: *flips over also flipping over Killer and kicking him in the chest*
Killer: FUCK! *rolls over and clutches onto his chest*
Dream: HOLY CRAP BLUE CALM DOWN- *grabs onto both of Blue’s arms*
Blue screaming and kicks Dream in the shin: I NEED MY PHONE-
Dream: *falls down grabbing his shin* MOTHER FU-
Blue running and grabbing the box of phones: GIVE ME MY PHONE-
Ink trying to grab hold of Blue: BLUE WAIT-
Blue screaming and hits Ink in the face with the box: AHHH
Everyone else except Ink: *charging at Blue*
Blue grabs phone from out of the box: I GOT IT I GOT IT-
Horror: *hoists up a screaming Blue in the air*
Dust: *grabbing Blue from the thighs lifting him up even more*
Killer: *grabbing Blue’s phone from his hands*
Blue: NOOOOOO-
Killer: *puts Blue’s phone in the box*
Blue screaming and squirming: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Ink: *grabbing a chair*
Dream: *helping Dust and Horror restrain Blue*
Blue: *flipping around screaming and kicking*
Nightmare: *still laughing*
Everyone: *sets Blue down on the chair Ink grabbed*
Dream, Horror, and Dust: *holding Blue down on the chair and shushing him*
Blue: *calms down*
Ink: Holy shit...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here are more incorrect quotes:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Killer: Hey do you want to- stop screaming, its just me- do you want to watch a movie with me?
Dream: I'M IN THE SHOWER-
Killer: Okay well when you’re done with that do you want to watch a movie with me?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
F!Frisk: You don't think I can fight because I'm a girl.
Blue: I don't feel like you can fight because you are in a wedding dress. But for what it's worth, I don't think Ink could fight in that dress either.
Ink: Perhaps not, but I would make a radiant bride.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Classic banging on the closet door: Fell! Open up!
Fell: Well, it all started when I was born-
Classic: No I meant-
Blue: Shh....let him finish.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dust: *sneaking in through the window at 2am*
Nightmare *flicking on the light and turning around in his chair*: So, Where were you?
Dust: I-I was with Cross!
Cross *turning around in his chair*: Wanna try again..?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Epic: Bruh, I want to give you the whole world but like...I only have 20 bucks.
Cross: Dude, come here.
Epic: *moves closer*
Cross: *hugs him*
Cross: I don't have any money but I got the world right here in my arms.
Epic: B r u h...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Killer: How high was I last night?
Dream: You forgot what milk was and called it cereal water.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blue to Ink: What time is it...?
Ink: Don't know. Hand me that flute and I'll find out
*Ink plays the flute*
Dream: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE FLUTE AT 2 AM?!
Ink: It's 2am
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cross doing a CROSS-word puzzle: I need a 9 letter word for disappointment....
Ink: Nightmare.
Dream and Cross slowly rising from their seats: Are you ready to fucking die..?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blue: How do Horror and Dust get out of these messes?
Killer: They don't. They just make a bigger mess to cancel out the first one.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Passive Nightmare: Do I want to be feared or loved? Easy.
Passive: Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.
Cross under his breath: Then I'm fucking terrified.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ink: I'd like everybody's attention. Christmas is canceled.
Blue: You can't cancel a holiday.
Ink: Keep it up, Blue, and you'll lose New Year's.
Blue: What does that mean?
Ink: Dream, take New Year's away from Blue.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lust: okay so the gingerbread house instructions say to be very delicate-
Sci: *holding power drill* DELICACY!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Killer: I can't believe you and Horror broke the bed last night.
Dust: It must have been wild.
Lust: Haha... Yeah...
[Last Night]
Lust: Bet 35G you can't jump high enough to touch the ceiling.
Horror: Try me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cross: Hey ya'll. So, I know I'm the new guy here, but I think I can speak for everyone when I say... I don't know what the fuck is going on.
The Bad Guys: Agreed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[Sets kitchen on fire]
Dust: shit- we need an adult.
Horror: You ARE an adult!
Dust looking extremely terrified: oh...oh fuck.
Horror: WE NEED AN ADULTIER ADULT. QUICK GO GET KILLER!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nightmare: It's hard being the leader of the bad guys sometimes, but I love them all and that's all what matters-
Horror: Nightmare! Me, Fell, Dust, Killer, and Lust tried to make ramen in the coffee pot and we broke everything....
Nightmare: [inhales]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Killer: You need a hobby Dust.
Dust: I already have a hobby Killer.
Killer: How many times do I have to tell you stalking Blue is not a hobby.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Error: Ink? Why are you on top of the fridge?
Ink: Can I not be wherever I want?! Maybe I like it up here!
Error:
Error: Wheres the spider?
Ink, quietly: Underneath the table...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dust: I have come up with a three-step plan to get Nightmare to marry you!
Cross: Okay...Im listening....
Dust: Step one! Get him to play truth or dare.
Cross: Never mind please stop.
Dust: Step two! Wait for him to pick dare.
Cross: Dust. I swear.
Dust: Step three! Dare him to marry you.
Cross: God damn it.
Horror from another room: IT MIGHT WORK!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Killer: Synonyms are weird. Because if you invite someone to your cottage in the forest, that just sounds nice and cozy, but if someone invites you to a cabin in the woods, you're going to die.
Blue: My favorite is 'butt-dial' vs 'booty call'
Sci: It's called connotation
Lust: Also, 'forgive me father for I have sinned'
Lust winking at horror: Vs 'sorry daddy, I've been naughty'
Horror whose face is now completely red: I-
Nightmare: Congrats! Language has officially been canceled.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dream, joking: I should have Killer kill you for that
Killer from another room: who?
Dream: Oh no its okay, I was kidding around-
Killer, walking in, with a hammer and knife in both hands: No, is he bothering you?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Classic teaching Fell how to drive: Alright, you see Dust walking in the middle of the road. What do you hit?
Fell: ...oh definitely Dust.
Classic: The brakes Fell! You hit the brakes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dust: Quick! Take my hand!
Blue: *grabs Dusts hand* Now what?
Dust: Nothing. I just wanted to hold hands!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cross upset: I hate you guys and I'm never talking to a single one of you ever again!
[10 minutes later]
Cross kissing everyone's forehead: Goodnight Horror, Goodnight Lust, Goodnight Dust, Goodnight Killer, Goodnight Error.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blue: Psst! Error!
Error: what?
Blue: I made this friendship bracelet for you!
Error: Blue... you know I'm not really a jewerly person...
Blue: Oh. Its okay! You dont have to wear it-
Error: No. I'm going to wear it forever back off.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dust: Me and Killer get along fine! Right Killz?
Killer: I've never been more stressed out in my entire life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cross: I guess I'm just too tough to cry.
Horror: Just yesterday you were crying about snakes.
Cross sobbing a little: THEY DON'T HAVE ARMS HORROR-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Reaper: Hey bitches!!! I've got starbuckssss-
Dust: YAY!!!
Error: FUCK YEAH-
Lust: AWESOME!
Nightmare: Reaper...please...its 3 am in the morning....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dream: Are you a cuddler?
Killer: I AM A MACHINE OF DEATH AND DESTRUCTION- yeah I'm a cuddler.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Classic: Dont talk to me.
Papyrus: What happened brother?
Classic: I went and joined a Sans look-alike contest...
Classic: AND LOST-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dream: Sibling relationships are weird.
Dream: Like, I'd give Nightmare my spine but no way is he borrowing my charger.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dust: Whats it like dating Nightmare?
Cross: One timeI asked him for water while he was still mad at me, and he brought be a full glass of ice and said "wait".
Dust:
Cross:
Cross: I love him-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dust: I can't go. Stress is bad for the baby.
Killer: What baby?
Dust: Me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ink: I hate it when people ask me "whats the stupidest thing you've done?" Like bold of you to assume I've reached peak dumbass.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nightmare: If someone ever kidnapped you, I would hunt them down to the ends of the earth so I could kill them.
Cross: If you asked I would literally kill everyone in this room with no hesitation.
Dream [A little terrified and disturbed]: You know this is not what normal couples say to each other right...?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Geno: How do you politely tell someone you want to hit them in the face with a brick?
Sci: One wishes to acquaint your facial features in a fundamental item used in building walls. Repeatedly.
Lust shedding a fake tear: Thats the most beautiful thing I've ever heard....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blue, opening a Capri-sun: Guess I'll just drink my sorrows away.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sorry if I posted a quote twice-
#crossmare#errorink#dustberry#passivecrossmare#Nightmare sans#dream sans#driller#kreme#dreamxkiller#nightmarexcross#dustxswap#murder sans#bloodlust#horrorlust#horrorsans#lustsans#horrorxlust#scifell#classic sans#afterdeath#bad guys#Star Sanses#Bad Sanses#reaperxgeno#reaper sans#fell sans
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One Year ❣︎ Two: Plotting and Planning
Chapter Summary: You finally arrive at Jeju Island, but there’s trouble in paradise between you and Dominic.
Pairing: Mafia!San x Fem!Reader
Genre: Mafia AU, fluff, angst, eventual smut, lotta crack and stupid shit ngl Chapter warnings: swearing, stalking, cheating
Word count: 2.7k+
A 365 Days parody
Previous: Chapter One
For the rest of the series, click here
Speech in bold means they’re talking in Korean
Speech in italics is whatever the reader wants their native langue to be that’s not Korean or English
Speech without either means they’re talking in English
You wanted to punch him square in the face.
Dominic was pushing your buttons beyond what you could handle, and you had no idea what had gotten into him. Never this bad when it came to his attention. Never did he make you feel this annoyed.
Jeju was a nice place--just as beautiful as you had imagined--but the flight was fairly long so none of you went sight seeing the day you landed. Skipped off to the hotel room for some much needed rest, you most of all.
Though you had a weird sense, chills running up your spine occasionally and funny feelings at the back of your head, you tried to shove it aside. Work was not meant to make it’s way while you were all on your holiday.
Not to mention, your boyfriend was talking once again to his colleagues and friends, not paying mind to you as you hauled the rest of the luggage around the large airport and hotel.
You were tired. You felt not normal. He was being a dick.
So it all had started off on the wrong foot. Still time left to change it around, right?
Then Dominic decided it would be great to take up most of the hotel bed--probably because it was so comfy, whereas he only had half of the bed back at home.
Eventually, you were too tired to put up with this behaviour so you got up and walked to Seonghwa’s and Yeosang’s room.
“The fuck, why are you here?” Yeosang mumbled, half-asleep himself.
Caught the rapid pitter-patters of water running in the background, which must’ve been Seonghwa. “How long’s he been in the shower?” You asked since he generally takes quite a long time.
“Just got in,” he answered, moving aside as you pushed through the doorway with a lazy glare resting on your face.
“Good. Stealin’ his bed,” was all you said before flopping onto the nearest double bed--still as comfortable as the king sized you were supposed to share--and knocking out right there on the spot.
Yeosang ruffled his silvery-grey hair, sighing. “His bed was the other one...”
The next day was a little more manageable.
The sleep definitely helped your patience level, though Seonghwa was a little annoyed that he had to share the night with Yeosang.
Granted, when you explained everything in the morning over some food from the breakfast buffet, he understood.
You were like a little sister to him. Sure, he took you under his wing a little less than five years ago, taught you his trade, polished you up to be the best of the best, he still grew fond of you.
An older brother you never had, and acting as such, he was highly sceptical when you brought a boy to the dinner table. Dominic, you had introduced.
Never liked him since. Sucked it up only for you, but his patience too was tested often by comments that were made and outlandish behaviour that was presented. No, Seonghwa didn’t like him one bit.
“Well,” he began, taking a bite of a golden, buttered croissant, “if you start feeling uncomfortable again, just pop over to our room and I’ll kick Yeosang out.”
You chuckled at the thought. “He’ll rip him to shreds.”
“Who? Yeosang or Dom?” Threw a pointed look in his direction, as if to ask him if he actually did just say that. “Okay, okay,” Seonghwa laughed as he almost spat out his orange juice, “I knew you meant Yeosang.”
“Happy birthday, dipshit!” Mingi’s voice boomed from behind, as the rest began to join the two of you. His long arms wrapped around your shoulders as he squeezed you in a bone-crushing hug.
“Happy birthday to you too, douchebag,” you squeaked out. The other boys had settled down, wishing you both a happy birthday--Dominic giving you a little kiss too.
Tried to hold back the smirk fighting its way onto your lips as you saw Seonghwa openly grimacing in your peripheral. “Where were you last night, babe?”
You never particularly liked it, that nickname. ‘Babe’...
“You’re asking that now?” Playfully teasing, though there was a slight hint of venom. None of which he picked up on. “I was with Seonghwa and Yeosang.”
“Really?” Dominic’s brow lifted, the judgement of you spending a night in two other men’s room clearly written in his expression.
“Yes, really,” you replied, less playful since he should have known by now that all of you were strictly friends. Neither passion nor romance was held for either the black-haired clean-freak and the grumpy introvert.
Has never been since you were all like family.
“Okay then,” he sighed, sitting beside you with his plate of a heavy breakfast.
The boys stayed quiet throughout the exchange, noticing everything going on but not saying a word. Knew that you could handle it better on your own.
San, on the other hand, was fuming. Although he was not close enough to hear a word any of you said--not that it would matter since he couldn’t understand it anyway--the boy could see the feelings of annoyance brew in your mind.
Hongjoong had his hand on his friend’s shoulder, preventing him from walking up and doing something he would regret. “Look, you don’t know what’s being said, so just give it a rest and enjoy your toast.”
“Joong, I can’t enjoy my toast, especially if he’s said something that makes her upset. I’ll floor the fucker, I swear--”
“San,” the blur-haired boy warned in a low tone, “eat your toast.”
One of his strengths would be that San knew when to back off. Sure, it came to a much bigger challenge when you were involved, apparently, but he still had listened to his second-in-command. “Fine. I’ll eat it, but I won’t like it.”
Hongjoong had not said another word to him, still pissed off about what his boss had pulled last night. Flying over had drained energy out of him, no matter how many times he did it, so all he wanted to do was to go to the villa, greet Jongho and Wooyoung, and then go to sleep.
That was it.
But no. San decided he had to chase you to this hotel. This hotel which was less luxurious than the villa and the food was sub-par at best. Not to mention he kept pacing about the room that was supposed to be opposite yours and your boyfriend’s, worried how you left the room and went into a different one.
Hongjoong had to stop him from bugging the rooms or even go pounding the door so hard it knocked down.
Seeing his boss and friend like this had him beyond concerned, since this was the first time it’s ever gotten to this degree.
In fact, he was so concerned, he had to update the two other boys about it--without San’s knowledge.
Wooyoung had told him to bring San to the villa as soon as possible--by tomorrow night, no matter what--but the man in question appeared to have other plans.
Throughout the day, San became more calculated in his movements (particularly when it seemed that you were on alert of some strange presence by the side glances you gave in their general direction). “We're going back to the villa tomorrow night.”
To hear that was a bit of a shock, especially when he had planned for the same thing. “What are you gonna do?”
“Sweep her off her feet, of course,” San smirked, devious little cogs in his head turning.
Ruffling his hair as he looked over at you and your friends--sat down in the tent lounge for your celebratory dinner--Hongjoong shuddered slightly at the ominous tone.
Clinking of a fork against glass, Dominic grabbed the attention of everyone, including the bystanders around him. Clearing his throat, he pulled out a piece of of paper with words scribbled on.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” he began, surprisingly in Korean rather than the language you all communicated in--though it wasn’t perfect, he was still trying. San was glad, now able to understand what was being said.
“Today is a special day, because it is the birthday of two very special people. One of which is my lovely girlfriend. So I would like to embarrass her by preparing this speech, to let everyone know this wonderful woman is mine.”
The mafia boss didn’t like that. He didn’t like that one bit.
“I’m so glad you were born, because life wouldn’t have been as fun without you, and you’re certainly very special in not only my heart, but the rest of the boys as well.”
It wasn’t only San who was unhappy about this speech. This wasn’t just your birthday, it was Mingi’s as well, yet he was written off. So, before Dominic could conclude his speech, you stood up, interjecting him.
“Thank you, for that nice speech. But I also want to congratulate my childhood friend, for it’s his birthday today too.” You lifted your glass to cheer the giant. “If it weren’t for you, God knows where I would be, if I would even be alive. You’ve saved my ass more times than I can count and for that, I’ll forever be eternally grateful.”
Hearing you speak such good Korean had--for some bizarre reason--made San’s heart skip a beat of two. Even as your accent shone, the pronunciation was close to flawless.
Yet Dominic was not feeling so proud. Yes, it was Mingi’s birthday too, but that speech was for you. Interrupting him was almost as if you were putting Mingi before him. Before your boyfriend.
As the chocolate cake topped with sparklers was brought out by the staff and people around you started to sing ‘happy birthday’ in Korean (your friends being the loudest), you couldn’t shake off the feeling that you were being watched again. But what was worse, you couldn’t shake the feeling that Dominic was going to do something dumb tonight.
“Excuse me,” you said as you stood up in the middle of dinner, when everything went back to normal.
“And where are you going, little missy?” Yunho asked as he moved his long legs to let you get past.
“Bathroom,” was all you said as you went by, needing to freshen up after feeling so... odd. Confined under the eyes of people you didn’t know.
The night had brought itself a particularly cold wind, rushing past your black chiffon dress. “Crap,” you cursed, “should’ve brought a thicker coat.”
Each turn you made, you became increasingly confused as to where you were. This place was like a damn maze. “Should’ve probably asked for directions too.”
“Are you lost, babygirl?” a deep voice asked you in English, cocky tone evident in the way the words rolled off his tongue. You turned to see the man who had just dared to call you that, ready to thump him in the face with a nearby plant pot, but when you saw his face, a sense of familiarity washed over you.
This was the guy. He's eyes were following you since you came off the plane--you could feel it in your bones.
“No thanks, you replied back in English, “I’m perfectly fine.”
And you turned around, not capturing the devilish smirk growing across San’s face as he watched you powerfully walk off in some random direction, not knowing if it was towards the bathroom.
But he didn’t need to know that, did he?
“Where’s Dom?” Mingi pondered as he looked around, realising it was oddly peaceful in the area.
“Not a clue,” you shrugged, “he’s been gone all night. Disappeared after dinner.”
While Yeosang, Yunho, and Seonghwa went swimming in the hotel pool, hearing their yells of ‘Marco!’ and ‘Polo!’, you and your childhood friend opted for sunbathing on colourful lounge chairs.
“Since when the fuck do you not have a clue? Plus, we all saw how that dickhead was eyefucking that random hoe at the dinner.”
“I really don’t wanna think about it. After all, it’s our birthday and I don’t wanna ruin the mood by thinking of the things he’s probably doing.”
Propping himself on his elbows, he took off his sunglasses to look at you. “Bastard’s cheating on you and you’re not gonna do anything?”
“Oh no, I’m definitely going to bring pain upon his ass like never before, but right now is not the time. Besides, it’s not as if we ever loved each other. And I finally got a good night’s sleep.” You placed your hand over his in a reassuring way, but it did nothing much.
Your response had Mingi biting his bottom lip, worried. “Hearing you talk like that scares me sometimes, ya know?”
“After everything I went through, you still think I’m going to be who I was?” You opened your eyes, peering over at him with eyes so cold that there was only one situation he would see them. “Do you still fucking think with all the shit that the five of us do, I’d still be a person who believes in mercy or love?”
Sighing, he lay back down with his sunglasses covering his eyes once more. “You’re right, it’s dampening the mood. What are you planning to do between now and dinner? Any particular place you wanna visit?”
Contemplating, you hummed as you thought of what to do next. “Maybe visit the stone park? Looked beautiful enough in the pictures,” you sighed, “What do you think? Your birthday too, ya know?”
The tall man shot a boyish grin your way. “Sounds great--”
“Hey!” The two of you turned your head to look at Dominic, who had trudged towards you in flip-flops. When he bent down to peck your cheek, you made no move whatsoever, internally cringing at the feel of his dirtied lips against your skin.
“And where were you?” you inquired, clearly not pleased with this. He hadn’t even bothered to hide the lingering scent of fruity perfume of the random woman he spent the night with.
Though there was something very much off about him since this isn’t something he would do, you will never excuse his disloyal behaviour.
“Oh, I went to Hallim Park. You seemed busy with the rest of the boys so I decided to leave you in peace.”
You took your glasses off, pretending to be pissed off about him going to a place he didn’t actually visit when it was actually about the secret he was trying to hide from you. “Are you shitting me right now? You promised we’d go there together.”
“I know, but I just needed to clear my head for a bit.” He nervously rubbed the back of his neck, no longer looking you in the eye.
“For the entire night?”
“Yes, for the entire night,” he snapped, instantly irking you even more because how fucking dare he?
Sighing, you got out of the lounge chair you were in, licking you lips to calm you down just a fraction before you stab him in the eye. “You know what?”
Each step you took towards him, he took backwards until he was right at the edge of the pool.
You brought you lips right next to his ear, the faint scent of pineapple lingering on your tongue, spotting the hickey hidden under his neck. You whispered, “fuck you,” before pushing him with ease into the pool to create a massive splash.
With steam coming out of your ears, you stormed away back into the hotel as Mingi lay there, laughing.
“That’s my girl,” San chuckled as he watched the scene unfold. He could tell from the feeling of the argument that you were unhappy about your boyfriend not being home that night.
In fact, when the mafia boss first noticed the way Dominic couldn’t peel his eyes away from one of the other women in the lounge last night, he decided to keep tabs on his movements--and thank god he did, otherwise he wouldn’t have found the great evidence that could pull you two apart and thrust you into his arms.
Hongjoong however, was actually somewhat terrified. “That man was twice the size of her.”
“I know. Feisty little lady.”
The blue-haired man looked at him with so much disgust, watching how he was so enamoured by you and a little turned on. No matter how open San was about what he liked in ‘bedroom matters’ both verbally and (unfortunately) physically, he still couldn’t help how grossed out he was.
“Jesus, keep it in your pants,” he grunted.
“Chin up, Joong,” San sighed, strangely gleeful, “we won’t have to stalk around much longer.”
“No?”
“No,” he smiled, “because she’s back with us to the villa. Tonight.”
☕︎ Tag list: @little-precious-baby , @sparklychangbin ,
#ateez#ateez fanfic#ateez mafia au#mafia au#mafia!san#choi san#san x reader#fluff#angst#crack#hongjoong#kim hongjoong#seonghwa#park seonghwa#yunho#jeong yunho#yeosang#kang yeosang#mingi#song mingi#wooyoung#jung wooyoung#jongho#choi jongho#One Year#One Year series
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D&D Quotes Without context
Miscellaneous Edition, for those quotable lines from between sessions
"All I wanna do, is fork a giant woman! A giant woman!"
"Jonni, I'm pretty sure she is some type of undead, probably a vampire. Are you sure that is a good idea?"
"If I don’t get turned into a blueberry it won’t be my worst date."
"Okay, but if you have to defend yourself just don't burn the place down for once."
"Oh, Nyx. Sweet summer child. I never make promises we both know I won’t even try to keep."
"Jonni, if I wake up to my bed surrounded in flames again I'm short-sheeting your next bed every night for at least a month."
"I know you're trying to score here, but Lady Dimitrescu's daughters are literally vampires AND bugs. I can overlook one, but as a Paladin, it is my sacred duty to burn this place to the ground and stir the ashes."
"We don't let Marshall make breakfast anymore."
"Those waffles are well-fortified."
"I'm going to be charitable and call it hardtack."
"We can use these waffles as melee weapons."
"Well if we need to deflect siege engines they'll be good to have."
"This is still carbon based and digestible by human systems without any poisons."
"I can't serve this. It'll cause ... death."
"Marshal we've been over this. This Pizza has 10% less of a lethal amount of grease."
"Plus they signed the waivers when they bought a ticket. It's fine."
"And don't forget to push the Cakeon."
"Cakeon being slices of cake wrapped in bacon."
"The special sauce is a mixture of mayonnaise, ketchup, mustard, ranch, horseradish, cheddar cheese, sour cream, and anything unfortunate enough to fall into the mixing vat."
"You do have a copy of the legal code I requested in my letter? As landed gentry you should actually have legal avenues to... I'm sorry did you say Burning child?"
"First I'm going to nail a crossbow bolt through your heart. Then I'm going to mount your balls to walls on opposite sides of this chamber."
"I need Three Barrels of Butter"
"Are you serious? Those Claws could crush an elephant in full plate!"
"You're Right!" *Turns to first person* "We might need more than three barrels of butter."
"So Ioun is the patron of poor college kids. that scans "
"its hardtack or a mug of molten cheese-fried... something in a woven mug of bacon. your choice."
"Welp, all this coke ain't gonna snort itself..."
"Right hand me that dress and the bail money. I'll get Jonni."
OOC: Well I mean they allow men in the city. Its just no men live in the city.
"I stand by my statement. I'm allowed to look pretty every now and then."
OOC: And dragons are the most unprejudiced lovers of anyone after bards.
OOC: Well I mean come on, its Ravenloft: saying a place is of death and madness is like making the observation the day ends in y.
"Going out. Getting laid."
"Jonni, she’s a werewolf."
"Going out, forking a werewolf."
OOC: Well Lycanthropy isn't usually sexually transmitted. Its just that Mercedes is a biter.
OOC: ...I don't have an appropriate response to that.
"You seriously think I’d turn on my friends for a pile of gold?!?"
"sigh I’ll show you my tits.
"Hot damn, let’s get these murders done!"
"No, Jonni, stay good. Besides, there are plenty of other girls who will do that without asking you to murder us."
"Hmmmm… this is the moral quandary of my life…"
"I’ll give you five bucks."
"Scales tipped!"
"Phew, I thought I was going to have to cover her next trip to the topless bar."
"No, no, I have the bail money right here."
Nyx: So what’s the inside of Jonni’s head like?
Edmund (with thousand yard stare): Imagine every ladies only smut magazine you’ve ever heard of going on forever into infinity while everything is on fire. Food was good though.
"It’s cool. They stole it."
"And you know this how?"
"Magic."
“90% of Ravenloft deaths are mysterious vanishings.”
"Why does everything come out covered in glitter and … is that …"
"Lube. I’ve got a few theories."
"Please don’t share them."
OOC: This is a plan that ends with Strahd having fewer brides, his castle is in flames, and he’s lost his cape.
OOC: Our team consists of a horny pyromancer, a gnome who can fillete you in five seconds, an HP lovecraft protagonist with actual magic backing them up, a literal slab of iron with a face, and a guy with a "I went to the eternal city of Ryleth and all I got was PTSD and this lousy T shirt".
Gorbash smashing his shield into their face: "Have! You! Considered! Therapy!"
OOC: Good news is you guys will no longer be the most conspicuous guys at the masquerade now.
Jonni: Challenge accepted!
"Nyx, the bounty on stealing his fake mustache is still on."
"Vanilla is the king of flavors. What does it say about society where vanilla is considered just 'regular'?"
"That they have a lot of vanilla."
Lash: "Don’t you want wishes?"
Jonni: "Do I need wishes to get to see you naked?"
Lash: "No?"
Jonni: "Fuck ‘em."
Vesh: "Oh dammit its my arranged fiance."
Pit Fiend: "Milady."
Vesh: "An extra wish to whoever punches this douchecanoe in the nards."
Jonni: "I wish…for Bigby’s clenched fist of nard punching."
Soth: "Oh, gods, why am I on fire and why is Immigrant Song playing?"
Jonni: "Take a guess."
Hazlik: "Okay, so its a partridge, stuffed inside a chicken, stuffed inside a duck, stuffed inside a turkey, and the whole thing is fried on a stick. Congratulations, that's the most horrible thing I have ever seen, and I once crossbred an elephant and an owl."
"I give him the 'itis, and we run like we stole something."
OOC: ...weirdly Curse of Strahd has stats for Strahd zombies but not Strahd Skeletons. Or Strahd's skeletal Steed.
Strahd once went to a branding seminar hosted by Bane and it changed his life.
"Are we on a high enough floor that if I throw him through the window he'll be killed by the fall?"
"Oh, but when I say stuff like that it’s all 'Jonni, murder is wrong.'"
"When they say pick your battles they don't mean to pick all of them. That's too many battles Jonni. Put some back."
OOC: He's technically already got a symbiote.
OOC: They can get married.
Gorbash: "I'm increasing the rent."
Venom: "Can I keep the pool table?"
Gorbash: "I'm not a monster."
Giant Brain: "Jonni… I have summoned you here for… WHY AM I ALREADY ON FIRE! PUT ME OUT! PUT ME OUT!"
"Hello We're the party-crashers. This is Jonni, she's here to steal your women and burn your shit down. That's Nyx, she's going to repatriate certain items from the premise. Marshal over there, is here to studiously ignore our shenanigans. This is the New Guy. He seems pretty chill. I'm Gorbash... and I have been distracting you."
"Will you walk into my parlour?" said a spider to a fly.
Jonni: "Hold up. Trying to sex a spider."
Nyx: (throws her hands up)
And then Jonni wakes up with a spider venom hangover webbed to a wall waiting to be eaten.
Jonni: "Eh, I’ve had worse one night stands. I’m not a fucking blueberry."
OOC 1: Hey, where does your weed elf grow [her] crops?
OOC 2: She probably just grows them in the room she hasn’t paid rent on.
OOC 3: Because I was also considering a circle of spores druid tortle.
OOC 2: We could be partners! We could turn this into road to el dorado staring Cheech and Chong.
OOC: Wait, I just realized five people are hanging out in a pirate bar, and none of us are rogues. We are gonna need someone to get thieves tools.
OOC: We have a barbarian with a big stick.
"Are we Foxhound now? Blunderbuss Octopus."
OOC1: You want to put the stoner in charge of food.
OOC2: Eyup.
OOC1: I see no way this can go wrong!
OOC3: We need the four basic food groups. Beans, Bacon, Whisky, and Lard.
“We pray to Almighty Darkseid! Give us a sign! Thumbs up, for the triumph of the human spirit! Thumbs down to begin the everlasting reign of darkness!”
“Where did you find this guy?”
“Me? I thought you hired him.”
OOC: Yup, nature, arcana, history, investigation and religon at +6. MJ got baked and watched the Discovery Orb a lot.
Tordek: "But we have a cleric, Jozan, over there."
Strahd: *sigh* Snaps fingers, and suddenly one of Strahd's brides sucks Jozan out the window, cue screaming. "Oh look, you suddenly have an opening, how fortunate."
Tordek: "We also have a druid...."
Vadania: "SHUT UP, TORDEK!"
Edmund: "I think the first order of business may be to discuss your Human Resources strategy..."
Strahd: "I have a guy for that too."
youtube
"When someone as smart as him talks with himself, it's not crazy...They call it monologing."
"I thought it was soliloquy?"
"No, soliloquy is when you're talk at someone else when your talking to yourself."
"Most people would run from a demon, you run towards it to study it."
Professor: "THIS IS ABSOLUTELY FASCINATING! A FROGHEMOTH, AND RIGHT UP CLOSE, IT WILL BE AMAZING TO SEE THIS PERFECT KILLING MACHINE IN ACTION."
OOC: Also note the Professor is Lawful Good, Archie is Chaotic Good, so collectively they balance out to Neutral good.
OOC: That's good.
"The incinerations will continue until morale improves!"
“You never incinerate the women!”
“Because I’m fucking them!”
“I… was not expecting you to be so honest about that…”
"You got what you wanted....but you lost what you had...."
"Yes, I'm familiar with how capitalism works."
OOC: Dragons are like, “That’s Krandor the shiney. He only fucks other dragons. Weirdo.”
Gorbash: "D'awww, so tiny... perfect size... FOR PUNTING!" *boots tiny mind-flayer into the horizon*
"Dracula hasn't been spotted in almost recently. Whats he gonna do, destroy all we know and love like he definitely can?"
"... my god you people are too stupid to live."
"What are you doing in my house?"
Gorbash: "...well Edmund has been reading your books, I've been sorting through your armory, Nyx and Irost has been going through your other shinies, Marshal has been cleaving anything monstrous that gets too close, and Jonni has been lighting things on fire to stave off boredom."
Gorbash: "Okay Marshal, Jonni. Rock, paper, scissors over who gets [to kill] the bishop."
Jonni: "Did you really think this would make up for what you did?"
Nima: "I… killed everyone you grew up with."
Jonni: "Yeah, and I’m still not forgiving you for what you did to Eddie."
Nima: "I am missing some key context here…"
Nima: "Also I committed identity theft on you by having my new undead army tell everyone you are running the show."
Jonni: "Oh, no. You’ve fooled the boar tribe. Who still haven’t figured out shitting in a hole."
Nima: "Yeah I noticed that. I ruined two pairs of shoes attacking their camps."
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ash & soot
Long before the Winters come into play, a monster stalks the Forbidden Forest that surrounds the Village. Karl Heisenberg is sent to investigate, and heads deeper into darkness to find his prey, a thorn on his side and someone just like him. (Heisenberg x OC)
on AO3: chapter one | chapter two | chapter three | chapter four | chapter five | chapter six | chapter seven (ao3 only)
chapter 6 - the spork
SFW, but usual blood/gore warning. around 2.7K words.
chapter 7 - shower thoughts
on ao3 only, to avoid tangling with tumblr's nip ban rules. contains naughty things.
Why was it he had let her live again? Heisenberg couldn’t help but wonder, making his way across the bridge that led to the factory. The pot of stew felt heavy in his hands, heavy and warm; a pleasantry, not a threat, despite his impulsive behavior. What puzzled him, really, was that she seemed so comfortable in the face of animosity, like an aggressive man invading her home and threatening to kill her was just part of a humdrum day. He had thought the illusions and ominous offers were meant to lure passersby in, to drain them of blood and use their skin and bones for sordid rituals. He had gone through it all because he was certain nothing could kill him, even if it tried, but no violence came from her. Was she trying to keep people out?
There was no trace of blood on his face, no trace that he had ever broken his nose in such a ridiculous manner, no trace that he had ever been bitten by a half-dead lycan. She had been the only witness, and he doubted she would bother entering the village to spread the news. He would go as far as saying she was happy to see him, his restraint a breath of fresh air in what he could imagine was a violent existence. He would know; they both had that look in their eyes, the look of someone drained of life because they had seen too much, done too much.
Power, he cut himself off when his thoughts had started leaning too much towards emotions. Power, that was the reason he had let her live. She was a cyphered book, an old witch’s grimoire locked away in a dusty tower. He had treaded dangerous waters and climbed through the window holding onto unsteady stones, and had only been given a glimpse, a quick look at the first page. And what he had seen was intriguing, dark and mysterious, so alien compared to his parasite-infested, mold-ridden world. Power and curiosity, nothing more.
As if on cue, the front gate’s buzzer went off, the whirring sound reminding him of the old American game shows he used to watch as a child. Wrong answer.
“Oh, fine.” He grunted in exasperation, free hand thrown in the air in defeat. “I liked her.” The words felt like soap in his mouth, a punishment for his profanity and transgressions. But there was no mother to wash out his mouth anymore, to keep him quiet and obedient. It felt good to say it, good to admit it. He was no machine; he may no longer be simply a man, but he still had his humanity well rooted within him. Or at least he liked to think so.
He liked her, he repeated, an awkward wave of relief washing over him. Not in a sit and commit sort of way, though, he wasn’t about to run back to her cabin come morning with a fancy ring to put on her finger. Hell, not even in a hit it and quit it way, either. The enigma of her existence was intoxicating, a lonely witch living in the woods of powers untold, his very own little secret. His own puppet to manipulate, another tool in his arsenal against Big Bird Bitch, if all went well. What a great find, his chest swelling with pride at his masterful move.
And she did seem to take a liking to him, modesty be damned.
The garage doors greeted him with the familiar screech of metal, a cloud of soot and hot air blowing out into the yard, like a nice warm hug from his beloved metal beast, like it wanted to congratulate him on a job well done. Though there was little need for such precautions, Heisenberg checked the locks, scanned the room for any suspicious activity. Everything in place, every last bit of scrap metal thrown carelessly to the side exactly where he had left it. The factory was quiet enough at this hour, and you would have to pay close attention to hear the haulers walking to and fro, their rare vocalizations every now and then. He was in high spirits and there was much work to do, improving Eins and Zwei, setting aside some time to study Sturm’s case and prepare accordingly. And then there was the planning, the pouring over reports of the latest events, coming up with the best strategy to take out each of his precious “siblings”, wedging his beautiful little hag in just the perfect place within his plans.
The complexity of it all was a marvel to him, a puzzle he never got tired of putting together. He supposed he had Miranda to thank for that, for turning his world upside down, forcing him to push his capabilities to the limit because of it. Sometimes he dreaded to think about what would come after; his hatred was all that kept him going, doing the bare minimum to keep himself alive and functioning, to get him out of bed come morning. What would he do when they were all out of the picture? He could finally be himself, he supposed, though that sounded like a tremendous amount of work and pain for the meager reward of knowing the shell of a man he had become.
This was not the time to think about it, he reprimanded himself. The rebellion hadn’t even began and he had many sleepless nights ahead of him.
The smell of the stew reminded him that he would starve if he waited any longer to eat. He barely remembered when he had eaten last - was it this morning? Yesterday? Such moments were but a blur, a mere nuisance in his schedule. Heisenberg was good at many things, but cooking, that he had never gotten the hang of. Putting a stove together? Piece of cake. Making a fridge out of scrap metal and elbow grease? That he could do. It’s not like he had grown up on much, either, had developed a taste for fine dining, wine and biscuits. His parents had been the industrial kind in more ways than one: blunt, efficient, cut and dry. Their meals were few and far in between, whatever cooked up fast and was filling enough to keep them standing. He had lost the parents, but kept the philosophy over the years, surviving on jerkies and raw produce, or whatever the Duke had in stock to be stored and crudely roasted later.
Heisenberg turned the key to his quarters with a sigh. Home, sweet scrapyard at last, and he wasted no time kicking off his boots and levitating the hammer to place it against the wall next to his favorite chair He set the pot on the metal table before discarding his hat and trench coat, eyeing the bowl the entire time as if it was about to attempt murder. Which he figured it might, considering the person who had given it to him was a woman he had met just a few hours prior, who lived in a hidden shack in the woods and could shapeshift into a giant horned monster. She had tasted it before preparing his bowl, and it did look harmless enough. Heisenberg inspected it closely - it definitely looked very appetizing. Some meat, potatoes, herbs mixed into a thick broth. A hearty meal for a cold winter night. Even if it was poisoned, it looked good enough to be worth the hassle.
“Ah, right.” He stared at his empty hand, shaking his pointer finger disappointingly. A laugh escaped him as he pulled every drawer, went through every shelf. Chisel, saw, hammer. Screwdriver, nails, wrench. Pliers, clamps and cutters, nuts, bolts and screws. An old TV antenna, pewter tankard, and even a goddamn tooth crown. Everything he could think of, except the one thing he needed: a single fucking spoon.
He stormed out of his quarters and into the foundry with the fury of a god. Nothing would keep him from the possibly deadly bowl of stew that smelled like the best thing that would ever grace his lips. He had reanimated the dead to do his bidding, could move metal with his fucking hands. A spoon was no match for him. Grabbing a sheet of metal and a long-abandoned pen, he roughly drew the shape of what he remembered a spoon to be - it had been a while. Cutting through took longer than he expected, and he refused to buff the steel to make it shiny. If he did not ingest his sustenance within the next few minutes, he was positive he would simply lay down and die. He took hammer to metal to make sure the thing would actually hold liquid, then the idea hit him like a flash of lightning, and he cut three small indentations at the tip: half spoon, half fork. The perfect piece of flatware. He would call it… The spork. Finally, he filed the edges just enough that it wouldn’t accidentally rip out a piece of his tongue, and proudly walked back to his quarters, plopping himself down unceremoniously onto a nearby stool.
If this turned out to taste like boiled dirt, it would be the biggest disappointment of his life yet. But it wasn’t - in fact, it was the best thing he had eaten in decades. Creamy, just the right amount of spice, meat cooked to perfection. Somewhere deep within his soul, he knew a proud ancestor watched as he took a generous bite out of a tender potato chunk. He could get used to this, he mused, a mouthful of pork and a hum of approval later. Maybe he should visit more often.
It was over all too soon, and he found himself staring at the empty bowl with so, so much sadness in his heart. Maybe he should have stayed for dinner. Forlorn and full, he leaned against the workbench, one hand reaching down to untuck his shirt, dexterous fingers then quickly unbuckling his belt and popping the button on his pants. Head thrown back, he let out a happy, satisfied sigh when his stomach was finally free of its cloth constraints. He pat his belly with a chuckle, feeling the faint lines of toned muscle above his belly button, then the creases on his hips - he didn’t look bad for being almost a century old, eh? He had gained some extra weight, it’s true, since the Duke introduced him to some modern novelties such as frozen pizza and energy drinks, but hauling corpses and building intricate machines was good exercise. Just the right amount of bulk and sprinkle of muscle, if he did say so himself.
For a moment, unbidden, he wondered if she would like it. If she would like him, all of him, more than what she had seen, more than what she had heard, more than what he had offered in their brief encounter. He hadn’t kept up with the beauty trends, and any man with functioning limbs and two braincells passed as hunk material in the village, but he just knew that he was quite the specimen. He was reminded of that look in her eyes, the one that stirred something within him he hadn’t felt in way too long.
Not that he was interested, of course. His curiosity was only natural, seeing as he hadn’t spoken to anyone from outside this little bubble of a hellhole for decades. Even when he was sent out into the world, his orders were very specific - grab what needs to be brought back, do not talk to victims of the evil plan. As much as he wanted to do it as a fuck you to Miranda, instead he always decided to bide his time. Blowing his cover could mean failure - or death.
She would like it, he decided, checking out his reflection on a well polished piece of metal. Not that it was difficult, of course. Who wouldn’t? The charming beard, killer smile, steel blue eyes. He could treat his hair better, true, wash the soot off his face. His clothes needed washing and his feet needed some time out of those damp boots. He had one too many broken fingernails and more scars than skin at this point. Still, she would like it - on second thought, maybe after a nice, hot shower.
He busied himself with all manner of tasks after dinner. Washed it down with a nice gulp of Gibcos, then made his way down to one of the operating rooms. He pushed aside the gurneys in his way, the quiet humming of the soldiers’ reactors a comforting sound despite the macabre landscape of the room. Beyond the door and behind the large window pane a very, very dead body lay waiting for him, a chunk of its torso and head missing. The lycans had done a number on the poor bastard, catching him off-guard as he made for the outhouse, so we was told. A man couldn’t even shit in this village in peace, he laughed humorlessly. The corpse was barely cold when Heisenberg dug it up and dragged it back to the factory. There was no funeral, no mourning of the deceased: in cases such as these, the villagers thought it best to bury the disfigured relative and be done with it, fingers crossed that they wouldn’t return with a hunger for human flesh a scant few days later. Despite the body’s horrid conditions, it would still be of great use to him. Strong legs and a wide torso, a perfect specimen for his latest experiment.
Sturm, he would call it, after the god-awful noise the propeller engine made. He tentatively pushed down one of the blades - it needed more oil. Rusty recycled chainsaws had been abandoned for a reason, but there was time to better the mechanical parts yet. First, he needed to figure out how to attach the engine, set up the circuitry, add in the artificial blood. Removal of internal organs was simple enough, a nice big heart to tie it all together. On the other hand, seating the mechanical core was a messy process that took him hours to get right. He didn’t want to waste time, or this corpse, when he had already come this far. He abandoned the project for a few minutes when the thighs gave with the weight, off to build braces to hold the thing together.
It looked mostly done after that, and revival was one powerful electric discharge away. Heisenberg held tight against its mechanical nervous system, focusing on channeling all of his energy - it would need an even bigger discharge than Eins and Zwei. Seven thousand volts, and not even a hint of movement. Eight thousand, he grunted as the current flowed through. Attracting metal was easy enough, but having electric organs was tiring work. He had all but given up when he heard the whir of the blades, Sturm’s body jolting on the operating table in a mix of eagerness and terror. The thing lifted its arms to touch him, chainsaw rippers spinning uncontrollably as Heisenberg took several steps back. He covered his face just in time - the desperate creature once again reached out to him, dumb enough not to notice the death machine attached to its own body. An arm hit and shattered the glass of the operating room, the other colliding against Heisenberg’s chest. Fuck, there was blood everywhere.
“Halte!” He bellowed before Sturm could get any closer, removing his now bloodstained glasses to stare at the thing like his gaze could drill a hole right through its spine. “Dummkopf.” And just as quickly as it had risen, it fell to the ground like a sack of potatoes, metal bending in odd places with the impact. Heisenberg let out his frustration with a furious kick on the engine before deciding that if he tried again for the night, he would probably end up throwing the whole thing in the grinder. He’d rather avoid having to clean the blades of all the tissue that would be stuck to them.
Seemed like he would have to take that shower after all.
#resident evil village#karl heisenberg#karl heisenberg x oc#karl heisenburg x reader#but only if you squint really#virgil writes#long post ///
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i wanna know what love is - 29
Pairing: rockstar! sebastian stan x writer!reader
Warnings: i am very sorry for what i’m about to do (pls dont kill me)
A/N: y/n’s exit is definetely inspired by peggy olson
Last Chapter // Next Chapter
Her editor had called her in early morning. She felt like everything but going back to work and her feelings were even higher once she stepped into the office she hadn’t been in for months. Everyone looked at her, mumbling and whispers being heard as her credibility fell into what they thought had been a sex exchange. She tried to block that, she knew it wasn’t, at least to her not in the beginning. She was a good writer, she was not a groupie but she couldn’t help but feel her heart beat faster as she walked through her colleges,
Y/N finally reached her editor’s office. Jason had the typical New York office, full of windows, signed photos of various artists, a mini bar, you named it he probably had it. The room always smelled to expensive whiskey and cigarettes along with the air of NY which she couldn’t say she was a particular fan of.
- Miss Wiley, welcome. Please take a seat. - he pointed to one of the cushioned chairs in front of his desk. Y/N nodded, walking over to it and taking her seat, laptop in hands. - I have to say, your article is one of the best articles I have read so far.
- Thank you so much, sir. - that had been the highlight of her day so far. To hear the person she wanted to impress say that her hard work had paid off, made her feel better than ever.
- We however have an issue. - he added. - We can’t do articles written by interns. Interns proof read and get coffee.
- Oh ... - her high took a downward turn.
- I’ll get one of my senior writers to have a look at it and we’ll post it under him with your name as a contributor. - he said and her blood boiled on that second. All her hard work, her heartbreak to be a contributor? She wasn’t a contributor, she was the writer of it.
- But it’s my article, I wrote it.
- You’re a good intern, Y/N. We can’t let you go but we also can’t let an intern be the cover of the Rolling Stone. - he laughed as if it made sense and was righteous to steal her article and post it after someone else.
- I’ve proof read articles from your senior writers for over two years now. You asked me to go on this tour and to write about it. - she pointed out, protecting her article as if it were her child which in one way it was.
- You have to understand, we can’t let you go, imagine the typos we’d have in our articles.
- You know what ... - she got up from her seat, towering over him. - I’ve proof read thousands of your and your senior writers articles, I got coffee, I interviewed the people you didn’t want to interview and not once in these two years did you thank me or even suggested bumping me up to junior writer. I am not about to let you steal my article.
- What are you gonna do about it, Y/N? Quit? With your experience?
- That’s right. - she didn’t know what had come over her, maybe it was the sleepless night, the heartbreak or the thought or seeing her work unrewarded, but she was not gonna go silent. - I quit.
- What do you mean you quit? - he asked, but she wasn’t about to hear it, instead turning onto her back. - Y/N, get back here.
She walked over to her desk, grabbing a box from under it and placing everything on her desk inside that small box. It wasn’t like she had much but she would be damned if she had to work here anymore.
- Isn’t fucking a celebrity getting you more job offers? - Margaret, who normally did celebrity tours and had her desk in front of her, spoke up. Y/N turned her face to her, a soft smile on her lips.
- You would know it, wouldn’t you Margaret?
And she left, she left two years of working during holidays, during nights for a place that would never reward her for her hard work. Part of her brain was screaming at her, asking her what she would do after losing her only job but the other one was mentally high fiving her. She found herself in the underground, carrying her box which contained two years of her life and considering what to do next. Maybe she would have to work for a smaller company, but it didn’t matter. She was gonna be heard even if she had to work for the local journal.
She got off the subway once she heard her stop being spoken. She climbed into the street where her flat was. She groaned once she saw the lift was yet again out of order and started to climb the stairs up to the top floor where she lived. She opened the door using her back and placed the box on the coach, walking over to the kitchen and grabbing the cake she had bought last night to eat her sorrows away. What had she done? How was she gonna find a job matched with her degree? Sure, she could go work for her grandfather but he’d be more than pleased to had been right about Sebastian. She groaned, shoving her fork into her mouth, thinking about how things had gone down hill.
She was about to text her brother but her phone started to ring. An unknown number. Y/N furrowed her eyebrows as she pressed the green button muttering a small and shy hello.
- Hi, my name is Violetta I’m Miss Hendricks personal assistant from the New Yorker. I’ve been asked to try and schedule a meeting between you and Miss Hendricks. - she heard the female voice from the other line and her jaw fell to the ground. Had she finally overdosed on processed sugar enough to hallucinate? - Miss Wiley?
- Yeah, that would be an honour. - she tried her best not so sound like an overexcited kid.
- Great. Miss Hendricks is free tomorrow at 10 AM. I know it’s a bit early but we have a packed schedule.
- No, no. 10 AM is great, thank you.
- Thank you, Miss Wiley. See you tomorrow.
Y/N hanged up the phone, a girlish happy scream coming out from her as she rushed around her living room like a child during Christmas morning. She couldn’t believe it, she couldn’t believe she had gotten a meeting with one of the hardest industry giants to get in. She immediately messaged her parents and sibling.
That night she couldn’t sleep, she kept thinking of what to hear, how to do her hair, how to do her makeup, what article to bring, what to say. 10 AM couldn’t come any sooner and once her alarm rang she was up from her bed rushing into her wardrobe and curling iron in hand as she tried her best to look professional. She even took a taxi to the New Yorker offices and once she first walked through those halls, her heart swelled up. It was a feeling like never before, it only matched up to how she felt when she first kissed Sebastian which she didn’t want to talk about.
She walked to the receptionist which took her to Miss Hendricks office. Miss Hendricks, or Helena Hendricks, was one of Y/N’s favourite writers. She was a former Yale student who had started in a small company in New York only to climb her way to the top before she was even 25. Her articles were so good, Y/N would find herself lost in them.
- Y/N Wiley, I suppose. - she walked into her office, extending her arm towards Y/N. - Former Yale student, worked at Rolling Stone and editor of the Yale paper. You have quite a resumé for someone in their early 20s.
- It’s nothing compared to yours, Miss Hendricks. - Y/N was nervous and starstruck at the presence of one of her idols.
- I’m gonna get straight to the point. I need a junior writer to work under me, someone who is an honest writer and someone who wants to find new stories. I read some of your articles and I like your drive, I like how you write. I’m offering you a 3 year contract as a junior writer providing you start in a week.
#sebastian stan#sebastian stan x reader#sebastian stan/reader#sebastian stan imagine#sebastian stan fanfic#sebastian stan one-shot#sebastian stan drabble#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes
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Undercover- Throne of Glass AU (2)
Ahh so this was meant to go up yesterday but a gal has gotta work sometimes. Enjoy my loves:) Also I’m not 100% sure everyone was tagged properly in chap 1 so please check that first just incase!
Undercover Masterlist.
Full Masterlist.
Warnings: Swearing, violence and mentions of sex. I’ll update these as the story progresses.
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The dinner had gone nicely, Aelin thought. The newbies had fit in quite well surprisingly and after what seemed to be a game of twenty questions, they were joining in on the chaos. They were all now in the main room, drinking and playing cards while she and Lysandra sat on the floor sharing chocolate cake between them. And of course, because they knew nothing, there was judgment from said newbies.
“Very sorry to interrupt ma’am, but, are you really going to eat all of that?” It was Connall who’d asked, while his twin smacked him over the back of the head.
“Seriously Con, you don’t ask ladies such questions. I apologise for his idiotic mouth ma’am.”
Aelin didn’t want to put on the mask of Celaena tonight, she wanted to relax and they wouldn’t be able to connect the nickname and so she said, “I told you none of that when your giant over there passed the test,” jerking her thumb over her shoulder where she knew Salvaterre to be sat, “please, call me Ace.”
The whole room went quiet as soon as the words had left her mouth, Lys’ fork stopped halfway to her mouth and raised a single dark eyebrow and Aedion’s eyes had gone wide. She knew why it had stunned everyone of course, but tonight she just wanted to be with her family. Manon was the first to speak up from where she was draped across Dorian’s lap, her fingers tangled in his dark hair.
“You never let anyone call you that this early, what gives?” it was a lazy drawl, as if she thought Aelin had some sort of scheme behind it, but for once she wasn’t planning anything.
“I find I quite like this lot, there’s something different about ‘em. And yes, dear Connall, it’s only three slices between us.”
There was a snort somewhere and she turned her head to see Elide staring at her, a single eyebrow raised. “’Only three slices’ she says. The two of you have been sharing most of that cake throughout the day. I expect you to be in the ring tomorrow Ace, maybe you and Manon can go for a round, you haven’t in a while.”
Chaol, Dorian and Aedion all spoke at once then.
“Absolutely fucking not!”
“Not happening Lochan.”
“Elide have you lost your mind?”
Aelin only noticed the outburst was because she and Manon were both giving each other the same feral grin, which the other girl soon turned into a glare when she glared down at Dorian, who visibly gulped. “Is there a problem with Ace and I sparring, love?” Dorian nervously laughed and shook his head.
“No, baby. You’re a delight in the ring.” Manon simply rolled her eyes and leaned in for a chaste and shockingly mild kiss for the couple.
The confusion was evident on Gavriel’s face, speaking up for possibly the fourth time since dinner started- he seemed quite content in watching others enjoy themselves but Aelin noticed his eyes always settled on her cousin after a while. She let a smirk slip free as he asked, “What’s so bad about them sparring together?”
Aedion was the one to answer and the man gave all his attention as if he was the most wonderful person in the world. Interesting.
“They don’t spar like normal people would, they fight rough and dirty. Last time knives were involved and Manon was left with a scar across her shoulder and Aelin ended up with a dislocation.”
Manon chuckled darkly and Aelin scoffed. They were all so dramatic.
“I’ll go a round with you, if you’d like?” It was Rowan who offered and Aelin found herself quite excited at the thought, seeing as Fenrys had said he’d trained the twins on everything they knew, well almost everything as Lorcan had trained them alongside him. His fellow comrades however, didn’t seem as happy, in fact they looked incredibly cautious, Lorcan obviously the most cautious of them all as he was now sat ramrod straight in his chair.
“But you haven’t trained against anyone sinc-” Rowan cut Lorcan off, shoulders tense and a dark glint in those pretty green eyes.
“I know exactly how long it has been.” He relaxed somewhat as he focused back on her once more and Aelin was suddenly curious to know what had happened. “We don’t have to of course but I’d be willing if you’d like a partner.”
“Tomorrow morning, seven sharp. Training room as you know is on this floor, I’ll meet you there.”
He simply lowered his head in a nod before turning to talk to Vaughan but his knuckles were white where he was clenching his glass. Something bad, then.
“Well, now that the fuss is over, can a girl tend to her chocolate cravings without question?”
All nodded except for Lysandra, who Aelin now noticed had eaten most of the cake during that little discussion.
Bitch.
oOoOo
Rowan didn’t sleep that night, bombarded with memories of the past. He’d always remember, always feel the pain, he knew that but it fucking sucked. He didn’t need to be told by Lorcan that he’d not trained with another since that day six years ago. There was no forgetting that day everything went to hell and that he’d nearly killed Lorcan because of it- at sixteen years old he had no idea how strong he was, but they soon found out. It was stupid of him to push himself to do what he was not ready for but then he remembered Celaena, or ‘Ace’ as she’d asked to be called in private, was their mission, their target and so if she was hurt it didn’t matter. It also gave him the chance to figure out weak spots and how good she was at defending herself if in the end it came to a fight rather than surrender.
Now he was sat in the stupid fucking training room with little to no sleep and a simmering rage left over from the awful images he was provided by his brain. It was large room with lots of weights, a few workout machines and what looked to be knife throwing targets. Most likely for the tiny hell beast who Lorcan clearly fancied. He wasn’t the only here and was accompanied by Fen, Gav, Lorcan, Aedion, Manon, Dorian, Elide and finally the bitch princess herself. Celaena, who was dressed in very short, shorts and a goddamn sports bra, was having her hands wrapped in tape by Aedion while Manon braided her hair back while he watched from the other side of the room, hands fully wrapped and doing the usual stretches he did when he would practice alone. Seriously, did she have to spar practically naked? If she was any other girl and he’d seen her like that, it would be incredibly difficult to fight the urge to pin her against the wall and fuck her senseless. He was pulled from the utterly disgusting fantasy by the sound of footsteps to his left. Rowan didn’t need to look up to know that Lorcan and sidled up next him and with an exhausted sigh asked, “Yes, Lorcan?”
“I know you hate it when people ask you if you’re sure about something, but are you sure about this? I can make up some kind of excuse.”
He knew this was coming, had been dreading the bastard conversation since he’d volunteered himself. They were the only two on the opposite side of the room so no one could hear him when he replied, “Yes, I’m fine. The bitch will think I’m weak or some other stupid shit and we need to win her trust, all of their trust and so I am going to do this.”
“Ro, you’ve refused all of us when we offered over the years. You and I have been best friends since we were kids and I don’t want to see you like you were that day ever again, so I’m asking one more time. Are you absolutely sure you can do this?” Lorcan never spoke gently to him and Rowan was grateful, he didn’t want pity.
“I’m sure. This conversation is over.” He pulled himself to stand when he realised everyone was waiting and walked to the middle of the room where the little makeshift sparring square was. Both his people and hers, although they were all considered hers now unfortunately, were spread out around them as he stepped into the square. There was not time to brace himself because all of a sudden she had landed a very powerful left hook and rammed her foot into his abdomen causing him to stumble. He brought his hand up to wipe the back of it across his mouth and found blood there when he pulled it away.
He laughed then and returned the favour full force but instead of a foot to the abdomen he used his fist watching as Celaena allowed herself to drop to one knee, only one. From that advantage point she took his legs out from under him and had him on his back, but he rolled before she could pin him and pushed himself back up. When they were standing again she smirked before running at him and from there it was blow after blow after blow. All that rage that was simmering just below the surface from last night rose up again and made him ruthless. When he finally had her pinned on her back wrists bound, Rowan thought she might give up but he was wrong. She went pliant underneath him and then her leg was around his hip and pulled him down to grind herself against him. He’d not been with anyone in a very, very long time and so the feeling shocked him so much his grip went slack, giving her the opportunity to get him into a headlock and his limbs trapped in awkward angles. With his free hand he tapped repeatedly and Celaena let go of him, walking over to Aedion who handed her a small towel and a bottle of water waiting for her. Fenrys came over, pulling him to his feet and patting his shoulder, muttering in a low voice, “Better luck next time, ey mate?”
It was repulsive to think his hormones betrayed him for that fucking privileged nobody, but he couldn’t show the disgust or the hate and so he simply said, “You really do play dirty woman.”
There was a laugh, a coy laugh like a lover would and then she tossed a cold bottle of water at him.
“I’ve got to say Whitehorn; I didn’t picture you as a man that would let the wrong head make decisions for him.”
Play your part, no matter how horrible it is. You’ve endured worse.
He took a deep breath before he smirked back at her, making a show of running his eyes over the length of her body. “When one is trapped between the thighs of someone of your beauty Ace, such things are hard to control.”
Her cheeks were redder now and it was hard to tell if she was blushing or if it was from exertion. Part of him hoped it was her blushing as that would provide him an opening to get close to her, but wouldn’t have to go so far as actually sleeping with her. He shivered at the thought. Rowan saw that she was clearly about to retort with something snarky when a phone started ringing. Everyone stopped as Elide, who was now at her boss’s side, pulled a phone from her back pocket and began to speak.
“This is Lochan.” There was no emotion on her face and there wasn’t any way of telling what the other person was saying on the other end before she handed the phone over to Celaena. There was a mask in place when he looked back at her and suddenly he felt like he knew the reason for the nickname she was given. Yes everyone throughout London called her little followers “Assassins” but it was she who was given the title of “Assassin Queen”.
“Speak, now.” Everyone in the room was staring at her waiting but she acted like they didn’t even exist.
“Is anyone hurt?” He could only detect a faint sense of worry in her tone but then there was an awful snarl on her face which meant that this was not going to be good at all.
“By the time I get there Chaol,” mystery of the caller solved then “your wife better be safely tucked into bed and resting, and those little fuckers better be secure.” She hung up, if there was a reply from the other man, it was cut off half way through. Dorian was the first to speak up, fear in his voice.
“What happened to Chaol and Yrene boss?”
“Some little fuckwits somehow managed to track them and broke in. Clearly they have someone almost as good as Elide, as they got past her systems but must have done so from somewhere else. Yrene has a few scrapes and bruises but she held her own, took two of them out. Chaol has three unconscious and tied up. Get your shit together, we move out in ten.” No one had a chance to move before Lochan piped up.
“There’s only one person in London that even comes close to my skills boss, and you know that.” Elide spoke smoothly and it felt as if this was a topic that had been brought up before. The tiny spitfire continued, her eyes tracking her friend and boss, and that’s when he noticed Celaena’s fists were clenched, knuckles white. “He was spared once, because I knew what it would do to you but now he’s crossed a line.”
“And when we catch him, no one touches him except for Chaol and myself. Are we clear?”
They all gave an obedient ‘yes boss’ and watched as she left, not speaking to anyone further. Lorcan beat him to the unspoken question, trying to clear up the confusion. Rowan couldn’t think of anything from the files and backgrounds they were all given.
“Who is this mystery man who is complicit in trying to have a pregnant woman killed?” Rowan tried not to flinch at the memories the words triggered and turned to look at Aedion, who gave a sigh before answering;
“Sam Cortland.”
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Oooooo yeah I did that😮 if you wanna be added/removed from the tags just give us a shout!
Tags: @bryaxisthefaceofnightmares @fancyclodpaintercookie @empress-sei @acourtofterrasenandvelaris @tswaney17 @queen-of-glass @thesirenwashere @awkward-avocado-s @b00kworm @http-itsrebecca @eatmysandwiches @poisonous00 @flowersinvegas @julemmaes @mu-si-ca-l @spyofthenightcourt @sis-it-dont-add-up @mad-madeline-ace @df3ndyr
#undercover#gang au#tog#rowan whitethorn#aelin galathynius#lorcan salvaterre#elide lochan#fenrys moonbeam#connall#gavriel#vaughan#aedion ashryver#lysandra ennar#chaol westfall#yrene westfall#manon blackbeak#dorian havilliard#banter#sam cortland#but like#i made him bad#not sorry
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Poly! Stolas/Blitz/Striker/Moxxie/Millie drabble. Not the fancy event one yet though that’s in the works. This one is.. kind of more cozy?
Some swears but honestly not as much as normal in these drabbles.
Striker was very good at pancakes. He had made plenty from his time when he was on his own and traveling a lot. Those pancakes in the past did not have as much taste of fluffiness to them considering his ingredients on the trail were a lot less fancy. Having access to such things was one of the perks of being part of this poly group he guessed.
It however had taken Striker far too long in his opinion to convince the usual cook that this breakfast this morning was on him and that it would be fine if he cooked. Striker wasn't sure what to feel about that.
Loona came trudging into the kitchen first. She was clearly hung over from a party she had attended last night. Striker made no comment about it as he placed the plate of pan cake before her.
Loona glared at the pancakes as if they had personally wronged her.
"I need something stronger then this." Loona said.
"Sorry." Striker said. "That's about all I have for you."
Loona accepted this and picked up the syrup to drown the pancakes in. Then as she started to eat Moxxie and Millie arrived in the kitchen at the same time.
"What's for breakfast?" Millie asked.
"Pancakes. Made them myself." Striker said.
Millie beamed at the idea of pancakes and was at the table in mere moments. Moxxie took his time, getting some coffee from one of the two coffee machines set up in the kitchen. It important to have more then one with so many people.
Not having had his coffee just yet, Moxxie had to control his instinct to not scowl at Striker as he moved to the table.
Moxxie and Striker time to time would get a bit snippy with each other. This dislike on Moxxie's part had stemmed from their first meeting when Striker had asked who let the possum into the kitchen. Since then Moxxie had just not like Striker.
Strikers feelings on Moxxie were hard to tell. He didn't seem to actually hate Moxxie, but he did enjoy making the smaller imp mad at him.
This morning was no exception it looked like as the pancakes that were put before Moxxie were different from everyone else in that they were burnt.
Moxxie glared at Striker.
"Really? You're this petty?" Moxxie asked.
Striker smirked.
"You know I am." Striker said.
Moxxie was about to let loose with what he was sure would be a scathing comment when Striker replaced the plate of burnt pancakes with the actual plate of very not burnt pancakes.
"You really thought I was going to feed you burnt food?" Striker asked.
"I don't know with you sometimes." Moxxie said.
Striker shrugged at that, not appearing insulted by the comment.
"Guess I'm a fucking mystery." Striker said.
By time Stolas walked into the kitchen the last of the giant batch of pancakes have been finished being made and Striker was taking his own share.
"Good Morning everyone." Stolas said.
There were mumbled greetings back. Mumbled because it was morning and because everyone's mouth was busy with pancakes.
"Who made pancakes?" Stolas asked, his lower set of eyes set on the two waiting plates of the breakfast food.
"I did." Striker said.
"You didn't have to-" Stolas said.
"Nah. It's fine. I enjoy doing it." Striker said.
Stolas would had mentioned how there were imps on staff who would do that job. But he had the feeling that Striker got a bit... annoyed, whenever Stolas said something like that. Besides, it would be rude to continue to question this kind gesture from one of his partners.
"Well, I'm glad for that and for the pancakes." Stolas said.
He got his plate. It was a full fifteen minutes more before the last plate was claimed.
Blitz was dead last to wake up, looking very groggy as he shuffled into the kitchen. He made a beeline for the coffee machine, chose the biggest size mug, and filled it as much as he could without having coffee spill. He saw the pancake plate, and took it with out comment.
Sitting down between Moxxie and Striker, Blitz started to eat like the food would escape if he didn't eat it fast. At one point he reached out with his fork towards Moxxie's plate to spear a chunk of pancake from the other plate.
"Sir, your pancakes are the same as mine. Why must you take some off of my plate?" Moxxie asked, sounding so tired that even coffee couldn't combat it.
"I like to have options." Blitz said.
Blitz then reached to take pancakes off Striker's plate. Striker slapped his hand with his tail.
"Don't even think it." Striker said.
"Ow! Fuck that hurt!" Blitz snapped.
Striker lifted a eye brow.
"Want me to kiss it better?" Striker teased.
Blitz smirked, thinking of a come back.
"Can we not do this at the breakfast table?" Moxxie asked.
"Oh don't be a kill joy Moxx, we're just trading innuendo laced come backs. What of it?" Blitz said.
Moxxie sighed.
All in all, this breakfast was fairly peaceful. The occasional squabble was not weird and there were no physical fights going on.
That was until the syrup ran out.
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Bad Boy Bakery
↠ Pairing Yeosang x Female OC
↠ Genre fluffy dirty angst
↠ Word Count 11.806
↠ Warnings infidelity (kinda sorta), mutual pining, unprotected sex, oral (f receiving), foul language, crude jokes, fingering, tattooed yeosang, mentions of criminal activity
↠ Summary Yeosang has a storied past and most of it is documented at the local police station. That’s the past though. These days he’s too busy running a semi-successful bakery with his best friends. After securing an order for the engagement party of well-known socialite Ivy Maxwell, he thinks his business might finally be taking off. He may have bitten off more than he could chew though.
It’s decided. Yeosang is going back to jail. Why he thought hiring the seven other misfits he used to run with to work in his bakery was a good idea he’ll never know. Bad Boy Bakery was supposed to be his way to get his life back on the right track and all these heathens do is test him every single day. He does a quick mental calculation of how much money is stashed around his house and he’s positive he’s got enough to post bail for a simple assault charge, but then again they might try to make an example of him considering his impressive arrest record. With the way he’s being tested at this moment though, he’s willing to spend every penny if it means he gets to beat Mingi into oblivion.
“Mingi, I swear to God if you fuck up another batch of egg whites I’m going to shove that whisk in your ear and beat your brains.” He glares at the clumsy giant vigorously whisking a bowl full of egg whites that already look like they’re begging for mercy. They have to have a full dessert spread ready for an engagement party that’s taking place in less than six hours and Mingi has ruined more eggs than Yeosang is even comfortable counting.
“Man, shut up. I did three years upstate. My arms are too damn strong for this which is exactly why I told your dumb ass to do it.” Everybody groans out loud at having to hear that exact phrase for what has to be the millionth time.
“That was over a year ago and you haven’t lifted anything heavier than a bag of flour ever since. Give it a rest.” Wooyoung garners a round of hearty laughter at his dig, looking quite pleased with himself at successfully bashing his friend.
“I make up for it by jacking off five times a day instead of four now so my point still stands.”
“I hope you wash your hands just as much.” The group of tattooed bakers loudly express their disgust when Mingi gives them nothing but a devious grin in response. Mingi, on the other hand, is phased by neither his friends’ disgust not Yeosang’s bristling anger as he dumps his third attempt at the egg whites into the garbage. So much for third time’s the charm.
Yep, Yeosang is going back to jail.
Ivy is resigned as she carefully sweeps her brush across both of her cheekbones. The glittery gold of the highlight powder left in its wake perfectly complements the rich sepia tone of her skin. She’s just as precise in the application of her lipstick. Slowly, but surely, painting her lips a deep purple. She sighs as she gives herself a final once over in her vanity mirror. The inky black curls that normally adorn her head like a crown have been forced into straightened submission indicative of her mother’s urge to impress the crowd of people that Ivy can already hear beginning to gather downstairs. Her left hands feels uncomfortably heavy as it has ever since this nightmare first began.
As if sensing her procrastination, Ivy’s mother Yvette comes striding into her daughter’s bedroom. It’s easy to tell how much she’s enjoying playing her mother of the bride role. She hasn’t stopped smiling since Ivy’s engagement to her long-time “boyfriend” was officially announced last month. Needless to say, she’s the only one finding any joy in this situation.
“Ivy, sweetie, hurry up and come downstairs. Everyone is waiting to see you.”
“Yeah, right.” Ivy scoffs in response. “They just want to see this.” Yvette frowns at the way Ivy glares in disdain at the stunning ring adorning her finger.
“Ivy Elaine Peters, you better get it to together right now. Keeping this family business afloat requires sacrifice and its your turn now stop moping and get your narrow ass downstairs.” Her mother disappears back out the door before Ivy can get in a word of her own. Not that it would have mattered. Her fate has been sealed for the past twenty four years.
She slips her feet into the black patent leather pumps still sitting pretty in the box on her canopy bed. The red soled beauties are sure to provide more status than comfort, but such is life. Ivy gives herself one final pep talk, smoothing out the imaginary wrinkles in her slip dress. She looks more like a fashionable mourner than a blushing bride but this is her silent protest. She’ll make her damn sacrifice but she’ll dig her heels in wherever she can.
Ivy quickly spots her fiancee Seokjin cracking jokes with a few of her cousins near the front door. He beams at her when he catches her eye across the room, breaking away to come greet her. Not for the first time, Ivy wonders why she couldn’t just fall in love with him to make this whole process easier. Their families have known each other longer than they’ve both been alive so they grew up as best friends. Plus, Seokjin is genuinely a great guy. He’s charismatic, kind, and attractive to the point of unfairness. She has no doubt that he’d make a fantastic husband for someone. She just wishes that she wasn’t that someone. The only positive is that Seokjin feels the exact same way. He loves Ivy to pieces in the most platonic way possible. She’s quite possibly the last person he would ever consider marrying, but business is business and this is a merger that must be made.
“You look absolutely stunning, Vee.” She smiles gratefully at his compliment as he bends slightly to kiss her on the cheek. A camera flashes somewhere off to her right so she makes sure to play her happiness up for the photographer. With the combined notoriety of their families, any pictures taken tonight are sure to be all over the local and regional news outlets by morning.
“I could say the same about you, Jinnie.” The tips of his ears turn red as they always do whenever anyone compliments him. Ivy giggles playfully when he ducks the hand reaching up to tweak on of them like she always does, choosing instead to square up like he’s ready for a fight. Oh, Jin, ever the entertainer. The numerous peals of laughter that erupt around the couple as they take turns jabbing at each other like children tells her that their antics are paying off.
The two imposters spend the night putting on one hell of a show. Anyone would be hard pressed to find someone that didn’t think they’re madly in love with one another. Their parents couldn’t be more ecstatic about this outcome if they tried.
Everyone is seated at the lavishly decorated tables set up in the backyard as an army of waiters replaces empty entree plates with various cakes and tarts that look almost too delectable to eat. The cheesecake placed in front of Ivy looks nearly too beautiful to eat. Topped with fresh berries and drizzled in what smells like some sort of hazelnut sauce. She wishes she hadn’t left her cellphone upstairs so that she could take a quick picture of it for her instagram. When she finally gets over her reluctance, she take a small bite. A borderline pornographic moan escapes her lips, catching Jin way off guard.
“What the hell wa-” Ivy cuts him off by shoving a forkful of the cheesecake into his open mouth. He groans in pleased delight, attempting to go in with his own fork for another bite, but she quickly slaps his hand away.
“Let me taste yours. Bite for a bite.” She pretends not to notice him sneaking another bite of her cheesecake while she tastes the chocolate tart in front of him. A hint of red chili lends a kick that perfectly rounds out the sweetness of the chocolate and the fresh whipped cream the dessert is topped in.
“I don’t know what bakery they used but we need to get them to do the cake for the wedding.” Jin declares as he practically inhales the chocolate tart. He signals the waiter to bring them two more for them to try while Ivy hums in agreement at his side. She makes a mental note to ask her mother who was hired to do the desserts tomorrow as she happily digs into the coconut cream cake being set in front of her.
Yeosang stares in awe at the payment he’s just received for the engagement party they’d done three days ago. His bakery has been faring better than most businesses do in their first year but the deposit currently pending with the bank is going to go a long way in making sure it stays that way. They had even sent two grand more than the $1,800 that the contract had stipulated. Yeosang had called immediately to make sure it wasn’t an accounting error because the last thing he wants is to be accused of stealing, but he’d been informed by the woman who had arranged the deal that her employers had been so satisfied with the food they wanted to “tip” him. Rich people are different.
He leaves his small office to clean up a little while it’s slow. He had let everyone else go early since there were no big orders to work on and Tuesdays are notorious dead zones. The bell above the door tinkles lightly as he cleans some wayward chocolate curls out of one of the display cases, cursing to himself because he’d told Seonghwa that he put too many but of course no one listens to him. Doesn’t matter that he signs those lazy bastards’ pay checks every week.
“Hello, how can I help you?” The young woman before him fidgets with the tie on her wrap dress inadvertently drawing Yesoang’s gaze to the womanly curves she possesses. The emerald green of the fabric highlights the warm undertones of her skin in a way that should definitely be illegal.
“My mother’s assistant told me that you did the desserts for my engagement party last night.” Yeosang curses mentally as he finally takes notice of the skating rink sitting on her left ring finger. He misses most of what she says next but tunes back in just in time to hear her ask if he’s available to do her wedding cake as well.
“What’s the date?” He questions, all business now that more money is on the table.
“September 9th. It’s going to be at the old vineyard across town.”
Yeosang nods in acknowledgment. He pencils her in and schedules a day in two weeks for her to come back with her fiancee to do a tasting and make final selections for the other desserts they’d like to have. Ivy is turning to leave when she catches sight of a full-sized version of the cheesecake she’d fallen in love with at the party.
“How much is that cheesecake?”
Yeosang follows her outstretched index finger to the hazelnut berry cheesecake that he’d come up with. It had taken him ages to perfect but hasn’t really taken off like he thought it would. Nevertheless, he makes sure to put one in the display case every day and he’s glad that he did.
“It’s $6 per slice. Did you want one?”
“How much for the whole thing?” Yeosang notices that she has yet to take her eyes off of the dessert.
“I’ll do $35 for you, beautiful.” For a second, he thinks that he may have overstepped his boundaries but she simply reaches into her bra to pull out a flashy, black card. The credit limit on that thing would probably pay off the loan on his storefront and then some.
He tries not to focus on how warm it is when she places it into his outstretched hand. He could’ve sworn that she intentionally let her fingers graze his own in a less than professional way. Yeosang shakes the thought away as that can only lead to trouble. He packs her cheesecake up while she signs the credit card receipt.
“Have a great day,” Yeosang pauses to look at the signature line of the receipt. “…Ivy.”
“Right back at you.” She winks at him playfully and sashays outside to her car. Yeosang’s eyes are trained on her until she’s seated in her seated in the black Audi he’s just now noticing was parked across the street.
Ivy calls Jin the second she steers her car back onto the road, waiting patiently for him to answer. She’s practically vibrating from the few minutes she’d spent with…fuck she’d forgotten to get his name but there is plenty of time for that. One thing she’s sure she’ll never forget is how hot he is. Ivy would’ve never guessed that she’d be attracted to someone with quite so many tattoos but on him they had looked like priceless works of art worthy of being placed in the Louvre.
“Hey, Vee, what’s up?”
“Two things. One, the bakery that did the desserts for the engagement party agreed to do the wedding.” Ivy curses at a slow driver that cuts her off at an intersection, losing her train of thought for a second.
“And the second thing?” Jin presses.
“Oh, I’m going to fuck the owner.” A thrill shoots through as she imagines those tattooed hands roaming every inch of her skin. She shifts uncomfortably in her seat as her body reacts to her impure thoughts.
“Absolutely love that for you. What’s his name?” Of course he asks her the one question that she doesn’t know the answer to. She rolls her eyes skyward as Jin starts talking shit when he realizes that she didn’t ask her new crush his name.
“I hate you.” She pouts as she turns onto her street. “We have a tasting scheduled for the 17th so I’ll ask him then. I’m almost home so I’ll text you later.”
“Smell ya later.” Oh what she’d give to flip him off right now.
The smile on her face when Ivy walks inside her parents’ house is genuine despite the fact that she’s spent all day doing wedding preparations which normally leaves her in a foul mood. Her high spirits don’t go unnoticed by her mother who is in the backyard pruning her orchids.
“What’s got you so happy?”
“The bakery that did the desserts for the engagement party agreed to do the wedding too. Also,” Ivy lifts the box holding God’s favorite cheesecake in the air. “he gave me a deal on the cheesecake that we liked.”
“Are you serious? He said that he was booked up the entire week of your wedding.” Ivy is a bit taken aback as he had specifically told her that he would be available, but she shrugs it off.
“Maybe he had a cancellation. Do want some cheesecake? This is your only offer because I fully plan to eat the whole thing right now.” Her mother tosses her pruning shears back into the box she keeps them in and follows Ivy into the kitchen where they make quick work of the heavenly dessert.
“Yeosang you fucking dumbass. How are we supposed to do a wedding and an anniversary party in the same damn day? Explain it to me.” Yeosang almost flinches when Yunho yells at him. He can’t think of a time the man has ever raised his voice before now and he’s known him since they were three. Not one to accept disrespect, Yeosang would normally react with anger of his own but even he has to admit that thinking with his dick has put them all in a bind. A socialite wedding and an anniversary party with a guest list longer than his body on the same day is going to take a miracle to pull off.
“Listen these rich people gave us two grand more than they were supposed to as a fucking tip. If they had asked me to get ass naked and let people eat pineapple rings off my dick I would’ve said yes.”
“She had big tits didn’t she?” Jongho typically stays out of their petty arguments but he knows bullshit when he hears it.
“Yes, but,” The room erupts into a cacophony of groans as they all simultaneously throw the closest object at hand Yeosang’s hand. Luckily for him he’s always been quick on his feet. “What’s done is done you fuckwads so get over it and start mixing. We still have orders to fill.”
All eight of them are covered in flour from their frantic baking when they hear the bell jingling up front. Hongjoong happens to be the only one able to immediately stop what he’s doing so he washes his hands and goes to attend to the customer. Yeosang nearly falls backwards off of his stool when he hears the voice of the woman that had put them in such a bind. Wooyoung and San exchange curious glances before they wipes their hands on the front of their aprons and head up front as well. Yeosang feels like his stomach is going to fall out of his ass as one by one they all abandon their posts.
“Satan, why are you doing this to me?”
There’s no reason for him to stay in the back like a coward so he follows suit, wiping his hands and going to the front counter as well. They’re all squished together behind the counter trying to get as close to her as possible. Yeosang shoulders his way between Jongho and Seonghwa and he finally understands why they all look like lovestruck school boys. He finds himself looking just as dopey as his friends when she turns that megawatt smile on him. She’s dressed a lot more casually today in a pair of jeans that had to have been painted on and a plain white baby tee. The little jewel glittering in her belly button looks like its winking at him and he has the overwhelming urge to flick it with his tongue.
“Another cheesecake?” He nods his head towards the box cradled in her hands. She looks sheepish at being caught out. Yeosang thinks it’s cute.
“In my defense, it’s tasty as hell.”
“Just make sure you tell everyone where you got it.” He winks at her playfully which was an incredibly bad idea. She sinks her teeth into her plump lower lip and he knows immediately that despite the massive rock on her finger he would still make a move on her. Time to leave before he does something stupid.
“Alright you lazy sacks of shit, back to work.” They protest just as he’d expected but he pushes them all back towards the kitchen, rolling his eyes as they try to resist him.
“Hey, wait!” Yeosang shouldn’t have turned around. He should’ve kept going as if he hadn’t even heard her, but no, he just has to have manners. She’s propped herself up against the counter that makes her breasts nearly pop out of the scoop neck line of her shirt. “What’s your name?”
“Yeosang.” She repeats it back to him, testing it out on her tongue. Her voice curls around the syllables lusciously and he could die right where he stood. At this point, he’s convinced that she’s made it her life’s mission to ruin him.
Ivy is quick to call Jin when she gets back to her car which seems to be the norm every time she goes to the bakery. She knows that he’s going to make fun of her for being so excited, but she can’t exactly tell her other friends about the hot, tattooed bakery owner that she plans to screw so she’ll suffer the consequences. At least now she actually knows his name so he can’t hold that over her head anymore.
The 17th has finally rolled around which means Ivy has another opportunity to draw Yeosang into her trap. Jin currently sits cross-legged on the bed in his guest room where Ivy had spent the previous night as she models her potential outfit for the day. The yellow slip dress has potential, but Jin isn’t totally impressed. He sends her back into the closet to try on one of her other options. She reappears in a fiery orange tank top tucked into a pair of lightly distressed white jeans.
“Your ass looks great in the jeans so that’s a definite yes, but I’m not really feeling this shirt.” Jin comments as Ivy does a slow turn in front of him. He crosses the room to his closet to help her go through the clothes she’d brought with her to see what her other options are. He eventually helps her settle on a simple black tank top that perfectly molds to the curves of a figure.
“Alright let’s go eat some cake and hopefully get your cakes smashed.” Jin remarks as he herds Ivy towards the door.
When they arrive at the bakery, Yeosang has just finished putting out the tasting plates that he’d prepared. Jin is too focused on the fact that he gets to eat cake before lunch without anyone scolding him for it to notice the way that Yeosang’s face falls when he sees him walking in with Ivy. She doesn’t miss it though. Nevertheless, he reaches out to introduce himself.
“Yeosang. Nice to meet you.” Jin reciprocates his greeting before pulling out a chair for Ivy to sit down in.
Things are all business from there on as Yeosang slides the first cake towards them and Ivy has never been more disappointed in her entire life. Gone is the Yeosang that called her beautiful and responded well to her flirting. She blames Jin.
“So this first one is a spiced vanilla cake with a raspberry cream cheese frosting with a little orange zest.” Ivy is so focused on the way Yeosang’s lips are moving that Jin has to elbow her to bring her back to reality. She sheepishly accepts the fork that she hadn’t realized was being presented to her to taste the masterpiece in front of her.
As they talk about what they like and don’t like about the cake, Yeosang hands them each a scoring cards to rank their favorites. Regardless of the way she feels about him on a personal level, Ivy has to admit that Yeosang is incredibly good at what he does. He was able to take her obsession with his cheesecake and come up with such interesting cake options. She’d been slightly concerned that he hand’t asked for her likes or dislikes in terms of taste, but as they move from cake to cake she realizes that he didn’t need to. Everything tastes amazing. It’s no surprise that each cake receives the highest score possible on their scoring cards. Deciding which one to go with is going to be hell.
“If you don’t let me have the spiced vanilla one we tried first I am calling off this engagement and marrying Yeosang instead of you.” Ivy stands corrected. Yeosang chuckles lowly at Jin’s enthusiasm and the throaty sound sends a shiver down her spine. It’s unfair just how effortlessly attractive he is.
“Okay folks, let’s talk decorations.” Yeosang reaches to his right, pulling a sketch pad from the empty chair next to him. His hand loosely grips a pencil as he waits for Ivy and Jin to throw some ideas at him. Ivy would prefer to throw herself at him instead, but someone how she manages to focus her brain on cake design.
Both Ivy and Jin agree on the fact that they want something simple, but beyond that they have clue what they want. Yeosang busts out a quick sketch of a three tier cake with fondant branches bearing dogwood flowers climbing the height of it. When he presents the rough drawing to them, Ivy immediately falls in love. Thankfully, Jin agrees because she was prepared to fight him over this. They spend a little while longer picking out other desserts for people who don’t want or can’t have cake, but all too soon Yeosang is watching the happy couple disappear from his shop.
The six months until the wedding seem to blend together. Business has picked up significantly in the previous weeks which has been good for Yeosang in more ways than one. The extra cashflow has allowed him to get ahead on some bills while also giving everybody a bit of a raise. According to Seonghwa, who is primarily in charge of the front counter since accidentally slicing his hand open, a lot of the new customers have been big names in the community that are connected to Ivy or her family in one way or another. The woman in question often stops in for a cheesecake. She always asks to speak to Yeosang, claiming to have questions about the wedding though he gets the feeling that she really just wants to talk to him. Every day it gets harder and harder to resist her flirtatious advances. He refuses to be a casual fling for some bored rich girl no matter how much his dick begs him to. Especially one with rapidly approaching nuptials.
Yeosang has never been a very spiritual person, but when he gets the call that the anniversary party he’d scheduled Ivy’s wedding over had been cancelled due to the wife having the flu, he knows that some divine being is looking out for him. He had planned to do his best, but with only one more week left to prepare he was still very unsure of how he was going to pull off two events of that scale in one day. The husband Johnathan Tooney, current district attorney in the next county over, sounds shocked on the phone when he offers them a full refund despite the fact that his contracts states that customers are only entitled to a fifty percent refund of any money paid if the event is cancelled the week of. Most of his customers pay half upfront and the remaining half afterwards, but they had chosen to pay for everything up front. Something Yeosang had greatly appreciated as it was a $2,600 job. Ultimately, Mr. Tooney tells him not to as they intend to reschedule the party as soon as his wife is feeling better and would still like for him to provide the desserts they’d contracted for.
The guys are all equally relieved when Yeosang delivers the news of the anniversary party’s cancellation. Things are smooth sailing from there as they throw all of their focus and energy into making sure that everything will be ready for the wedding next weekend. Not surprisingly, Ivy doesn’t make an appearance in the bakery that week, but what is surprising is that Yeosang finds himself actually missing her presence. Despite his avoidance of all her flirting, he actually likes talking to Ivy whenever she comes in. She may be a bored rich girl but her mind is just as captivating as the rest of her.
On the day of the ceremony, Yeosang is uncharacteristically antsy. He’s not sure what it is but he can’t seem to sit still no matter what he does. He’s itching to get this day over with so Mingi can buy him the beer he owes him. Wooyoung scolds him for being distracted when he almost drops one of the cake tiers on his way to load it into one of the delivery vans. No one has to vocalize just how disastrous that would’ve been because they all know but missing an opportunity to call people out on their shit is just not in Wooyoung’s nature.
“Look, I know you’re feeling some type of way because your crush is marrying a pretty boy that’s not you but I’m going to need you to at least pretend that you still want to get paid for this job.” Yeosang nods in acknowledgment because while he doesn’t like being yelled at like a child even he knows that he’s got to get his shit together and quickly.
“Notice how he didn’t deny his crush on cheesecake girl though.” San pipes up as he hops into the drivers seat of the van. Everyone snickers, switching to full on laughter when Yeosang flips them all off.
Thankfully, the reception goes off without a hitch. The wait staff helps set up the extensive dessert table to save on time and it comes out just as Yeosang had envisioned it. He snaps a few pictures for the bakery’s website before they leave venue. Ivy and Jin had extended invitations to Yeosang and his staff to stay for the reception, but they’d all politely declined. They’re on their way out of the service entrance when one of the girls on the wait staff runs out with two giant paper bags in her hands. Apparently, Ivy had included enough meals in her catering package to feed the vendors that would be in the building on her big day which coincidentally included Yeosang and his gang of merry bakers. They’re all taken aback by the thoughtfulness of the gesture as Yeosang accepts the bags from the staff member who quickly runs back inside the dining hall.
“Cheesecake girl is a fucking saint.” Mingi hardly ever garners emphatic agreement from the rest of his friend group but today is one of those rare occasions.
Business continues as normal following the wedding. Product is flying out of the display case. Catering orders are still coming in left and right. Ivy still stops in once a week for a cheesecake and to flirt with Yeosang. The guys still tease him for his crush on said married woman. Everything is normal.
Until it’s not.
Jin looks like freshly printed money when he strolls into Bad Boy Bakery for the first time since the cake tasting all those months ago. The silver band on his ring finger glitters even in the fluorescent lighting. Yeosang is finishing up his closing routine when he hears the bell and emerges from his office.
“Seokjin?” The manila folder clasped in the other man’s hands makes Yeosang nervous. The last time someone in a suit approached him with a manila folder he was being presented with a plea deal and ended up doing ten months in jail for assault and grand larceny.
“We need to talk. I’ll wait for you to finish up.” Jin takes a seat at an empty table and hums to himself as he waits for Yeosang to join him.
He doesn’t have to wait long for the young business owner to emerge from his office with his keys and a denim jacket in hand. The mischievous smile on Jin’s face makes him uneasy, but he’s no bitch. Yeosang steels his nerves and schools his facial expression into one of bland indifference. He arches an eyebrow when Jin slides the folder across the table and produces a pen from the breast pocket of his suit jacket. The folder may as well be a poisonous spider with the way Yeosang refuses to touch it.
“Whatever you think it is, I promise it’s not that.” Yeosang stares Jin down for a few seconds, looking for anything at all that would suggest he should end this whole interaction right now. He doesn’t find it.
With a resigned sigh, Yeosang flips through the contents of an envelope. He shoots Jin a look when he realizes that he’s currently skimming over a nondisclosure agreement. It looks to be focused around Ivy and Jin’s marriage. The word arranged jumps out him a few times and his eyes nearly bug out of his head. The agreement is vague on the finer details but Yeosang is comfortable enough with what he’s read to quickly scrawl his name at the bottom of the last page. Jin signs his name as witness and neatly tucks everything back into the manila folder.
“Now that we have that out of the way.” Jin relaxes back into the chair and fiddles with his wedding band. “Ivy likes you. She’ll never admit that because she’s stubborn but she likes you and wants you fold her like a towel.”
“Wait, wait, wait, are you saying that your wife wants to have sex with me? How are you okay with this?” Yeosang has always loved forbidden fruit but ruining relationships was the old him. He doesn’t know what to do with this information. Furthermore, he can’t imagine being married to someone like Ivy and being okay with her sleeping with someone else.
“That’s where the NDA comes in.” Yeosang sits in stunned silence as Jin gives him the true behind the scenes story about he and Ivy’s marriage and it’s nothing like the best friends to lovers trope that they’ve fed to society. Well, he guesses the best friend part is true, but they’ve definitely never been anything close to lovers and never will be. They’re simply holding up their end of a decades-old business deal. According to Jin, he and Ivy have already devised a plan to be divorced in a year.
“So,” Yeosang is a bit unsure on how to proceed. This is uncharted territory. “what exactly are you saying to me?”
“Stop feeling bad about wanting to fuck Ivy and just do it. She’s driving me insane at home talking about how hot you are all the time and I can’t take it anymore. She’s out of cheesecake so she’ll be in here within the next couple of days so make your move. Discreetly.”
Yeosang lays in bed that night still shocked at everything he’s learned today. His mind and body have been at war over what he believes to be right and what his body craves. He’d love nothing more than to worship Ivy from head to toe and before today it had been a pipe dream. Now that he’s been given the green light, he’s still conflicted. It feels too good to be true. But he plans to take full advantage of all the good that comes his way until shit decides to hit the fan.
Ivy gives herself a final once over in the mirror. Her outfit is simple. Just a black bodycon dress paired with a denim jacket and her red converse. According to Jin, she should look like she’s making an effort but not too much of one. She’s hoping that this will do the trick as she grabs for her keys and purse, stuffing her phone into the latter as she waits for the elevator to reach the ground floor.
She wants to call Jin for some last minute encouragement on the way over, but he’s being a boring businessman today and is in the middle of a meeting. Ivy is totally on her own and she’s panicking. Hopefully, Yeosang finds her nervousness cute enough to overlook the awkwardness.
When Ivy enters the bakery, one of Yeosang’s friends is manning the counter. A gentle giant with a kind smile. She remembers that his name also starts with a Y like Yeosang’s but she can’t put her finger on exactly what it is.
“Hey, cheesecake girl!” Ivy rolls her eyes humorously at the nickname the other guys in the bakery have given her. She can’t help that the damned cheesecake tastes as good as it does. Before the wedding, she’d had to up her trips to the gym from zero to one just to make sure she’d still be able to fit into her dress on her wedding day.
Her heart drops a little when she scans the display case but sees no sign of the dessert that her soul craves. Yunho laughs are disappointment before disappearing into the kitchen. He returns with a box, smiling at the way her eyes light up.
“Yeosang is with the other guys on a job, but he said you’d be in today so he boxed it up before he left.” He slides the box across the glass countertop into her waiting hands. Ivy digs in her purse for her card to pay for the cheesecake, but Yunho is quick to stop her.
“This one’s on the house. Boss’ orders.” Ivy is a bit taken aback. Hand frozen in her purse. Yeosang makes sure that she always pays a discount rate for her cheesecake, but she’s never gotten one for free before.
“Oh…okay. Well, have a good day.”
It isn’t until she gets back to Jin’s place — well she guesses it’s her place now too — that she realizes why Yeosang had decided to pre-package her cheesecake this time. A phone number is scrawled on the inside of the lid with a quick message from Yeosang asking her to call him. She squeals as frantically scrambles to pull her phone from the recesses of her bag. Yunho had told her that Yeosang was out on a job so she texts him instead of calling so as not to disturb him.
She is happily digging her fork into a second piece of cheesecake when Ivy randomly recalls something weird that Jin had said this morning when he left for work. She was still half asleep and barely human, but now here she sits at the dining room table replaying the strange sentence that her brain had decided to finally comprehend.
Don’t forget to call the baker.
Ivy hadn’t been in the right headspace to question it then, but now that the puzzle pieces are clicking into place, it’s becoming painfully obvious that Jin had something to do with the reason she’s anxiously checking her phone every five minutes. The part of her that wants to chase him with a butter sock is overridden by the much larger part that wants to thank him profusely for whatever it is that he did. Unlike Jin, Ivy doesn’t have a harem of men, women, and others lined up to satisfy her needs whenever he’s feeling inclined.
She’s three episodes into a Cold Justice marathon when her phone rings, scaring the living daylights out of her. It’s Yeosang. Ivy’s eyes widen comically as she freaks out over what to do. She chugs the rum and coke she’d been nursing and picks up the call.
“Hello?” She cringes at how apprehensive she sounds even to her own ears.
“Hello, Ivy.” He sounds tired which has given his voice a gravelly edge to it that’s making her blood sing. “I saw your message and thought it would just be easier to call you.”
Ivy isn’t surprised in the slightest when Yeosang tells her about Jin’s visit to the bakery the night before. That’s a typical Jin move to jump the chain of command to accomplish a job. Yeosang doesn’t seem to bothered by the strangeness of it all. He seems more relieved that his guilt for lusting after a taken woman has been absolved if anything.
“This is a first for me so I’m not exactly sure what to do.” Yeosang trails off. He’s out of his element here. It goes without saying that there will be no romantic dinners at expensive restaurants or long walks to the beach.
“This is a first for me too, but you’re a hot baker that laughs at my stupid jokes and I like that.” His throaty laugh in response makes her chest swell with pride at
“I still want to take you on a date though so I guess your place or mine?”
Yeosang is sweating bullets as he punches in the elevator code for the penthouse suite in the swanky high rise at the address Ivy had given him. In his Michael Jackson t-shirt, ripped jeans, and sneakers, he knows that he sticks out like a sore thumb, but thankfully no one in the lobby had vocalized that to his face. He adjusts his duffel bag on his shoulder as the elevator smoothly ascends to the top floor. He’s been ecstatic when Ivy had told him that she wanted him to come spend the weekend with her since Jin would be out of town on business. This is going to be the first time that he’s seen her in person since they agreed to their little arrangement and he’s nervous to say the least.
The doors silently reveal a posh sitting area as well a lacquered black door adorned with a silver “P”. Yeosang grins at the door mat just outside the door. It depicts a crudely drawn cat with both middle fingers upturned and the words “fuck off” written in a speech bubble. It looks just as out of place as he does and for whatever reason it makes him feel more at ease. He reaches out to press the doorbell but the door is yanked open before he even gets the chance.
“Jesus Christ you scared me!” If his hands weren’t full of groceries, Yeosang would’ve clutched at his rapidly beating heart. Ivy chuckles, pointing to a little black dot above the door.
“We have cameras.”
She grabs for a few of the bags in his hands, but he twists and turns to block her efforts. Their childish antics continue until Yeosang has finally had enough. He crouches down until he’s able to wrap his arms around her thighs, delighting in her squeal when he successfully lifts her from the ground. Ivy swats at his shoulders, but the brute simply crosses the threshold, kicking the door shut with his foot before walking deeper into her home. This first “date” is off to a great start.
“So what’s on the agenda for today, Mr. Kang?” Ivy drums on the marble countertop enthusiastically as she watches Yeosang unpack the groceries he’d brought with him.
“As much as I love a good paying customer, It’s time for you to learn how to make this cheesecake yourself.”
“You better hope I suck at it or I’ll put you out of business.”
“I don’t mind a little competition.” Yeosang smiles deviously. “Especially when the rivals look as pretty as you.”
Ivy feels her cheeks heat up in the face of such flirtation and she’s never been more thankful for the fact that her darker complexion hides the evidence of it. She’s come to know him well enough to know that he would definitely rib her for that.
As it turns out, Ivy is a natural born baker. Yeosang’s heart swells in his chest as he watches her sway her hips to the music she’d turned on as she stirs the berry compote on the stove. His chest bumps against her back as he steps up behind her and he swears he sees her shiver. He rests his head on her shoulder, covering his hand with hers and slows down the speed of her stirring.
“You have to be gentle with the berries, love.” At the sound of his voice so close to her ear, Ivy’s insides turn to goo.
“Maybe I don’t want to be gentle.” Her words hit him square in the chest and he wants to respond in so many ways, but he settles for a chaste kiss on her temple. He’d briefly contemplated taking it slow with her, but they’ve been dancing around each other for nearly seven months at this point and there’s no point in prolonging the inevitable. The wanton desire is mutual on both sides but he wants to hear her beg. Wants her desperate and needy for him.
He eventually removes his hand from hers, choosing to instead hold onto her hips as he continues to coach her through the next steps. She’s so focused on keeping her berries from sticking that Yeosang is able to catch her off guard when he slips his hands inside her tank top to rest them against her bare skin. The gasp she lets out makes him smile deviously. His hands drift up from her lower stomach until his thumbs are brushing the lacy cups of her bra. It’s Yeosang’s turn to be caught off guard when she presses her ass firmly against his front. The way she subsequently swivels her hips is nearly his undoing, but Yeosang has a game plan and he intends to see it through.
“You’re a naughty girl, Ivy.” He lowers a hand to tug on the elastic waistband of the tiny shorts she’s wearing, letting it snap back in place. She hisses at the sting but, if the way her head lolls back onto his shoulder is any indication, she loved it. Yeosang slides his hand lower as if he’s going to cup her over her shorts only to completely remove himself from her.
He busies himself with other things around the kitchen but he can feel her glare on him the entire time. She grumbles something under her breath that sounds suspiciously like the words “teasing asshole” but he choose to ignore it. For now.
Ivy is visibly on edge as she waits for Yeosang to touch her again, but he doesn’t make a single move to do so. He simply dances around her in the kitchen as they finish up their cheesecake preparation. It has to cool once they take it out of the oven so they migrate to the living room while they wait. The episode of Bones that Ivy been watching before he’d arrived is still paused on the tv so she restarts it and settles in next to Yeosang on the couch. She lets out a girlish squeal when he hauls her into his lap instead. He spreads her legs so that they straddle both of his, letting out a content sigh as he rests his chin on her shoulder. Arms wrapped securely around her waist.
He waits until she’s engrossed in the episode. Certain that he’s going to keep his hands to himself. If he’d been able to see her face, he would’ve been able to see the devious grin as she devised a plan of her own. Ivy shifts her legs around until both of her feet are planted on the floor between Yeosang’s. She swivels her hips in the cradle of his lap, snickering at the groan he lets out. Two can play this teasing game. She grabs both of his hands in her own and lifts them to her breasts. Yeosang just lets them linger there. This is her show now and he wants to see her directing skills firsthand.
With her physical encouragement, he pinches her erect nipples through the thin layers of her shirt and bra. The breathy sigh in response to his touch gives him a high that he can quickly see himself becoming addicted to. She ups the ante by dislodging his hands to remove her shirt and bra. She places his hands back on her chest, sighing once more at the feel of him kneading her breasts without any hindrances. Yeosang licks and sucks at the column of her neck. He’s careful not to leave any marks which he’s sure she’ll be appreciative of later. Her needs grows and grows until she’s craving more than what he’s giving her.
“Yeosang,” The way she half moans his name sounds like the sweetest melody. “Touch me.”
“I am touching you, baby girl.” She grunts in frustration. Looks like she’ll have to take matters into her own hands once more.
Yeosang is shocked when Ivy suddenly rises to her feet. He’s more than confused as he watches her disappear down a hallway off to the right of the living room. His breath catches in his throat when her shorts suddenly fly back into view followed closely by a pair of panties that match the bra on the floor by his right foot. He nearly falls over in his haste to catch up to her. He finds her in the bedroom that she’d pointed out as hers when she’d given him a quick tour earlier. She’s reclined amongst the mountain of pillows circling her swollen clit with her middle finger as she fondles one of her breasts. Her mouth is slightly ajar from the pleasure and he swears that he’s never seen a sight more breathtaking. Yeosang swallows, trying to get his wits about him when she speaks and breaks him out of his daze.
“Clothes off, babe.” His limbs are a blur as he rushes to follow her instructions. With every inch of skin he reveals, Ivy finds herself falling deeper and deeper into his trap.
She’d seen the tattoos that covered his arms and the back of his right hand, but the Hebrew script running down his side is new to her and she makes a mental note to ask him what it says later. Right now she wants nothing more than for him to hold her down with his weight and make her his. Yeosang’s eyes are practically glued to her center so shiny from her arousal. He licks his lips at the thought of how good she probably tastes and the mere idea of having her on his tongue nearly consumes him.
Yeosang tugs on his hardened cock as he slowly walks towards the oversized bed. She’s mesmerized by the appendage standing proud between his legs. It’s not over long but he can barely get his own fist around it so she knows that the stretch will be phenomenal when he finally gets inside. He grabs her by both ankles and pulls her into the center of the bed so that she’s flat on her back. She squirms in anticipation as he crawls over her. Lips and hands caressing every inch of her skin that they can reach. She moans deep in her throat when he finally covers her lips with his own in their first ever kiss. Her fingers find purchase in his hair, holding him to her as they ravage each other. Each exhale from her lips traded for his.
Ivy is brought back to the task at hand when a needy thrust of Yeosang’s hips has the engorged head of his erection pressing against her clit. She bites down on his bottom lip at the sudden onslaught of pleasure, rolling her hips up to get more of the addictive friction.
“Gotta taste you. Want you to cum in my mouth.” Yeosang’s words don’t match up with his actions as he continues to peck her lips over and over again. Eager to discover if his tongue is just as talented as his hands, Ivy pulls away to gently push at his head until he gets the message.
The first swipe of his tongue on her soaked flesh is purely self-indulgent. He’s thrilled to discover that she tastes just as sweet as he thought she would. Like the nectar of a fresh honeydew. He sucks her clit into his mouth, biting down on it gently before swirling his tongue around it to soothe the ache. Her eyes roll into the back of her head and she can’t decide if she wants to run from or towards his mouth. She doesn’t get the chance to decide as Yeosang anchors her squirming hips to the bed with one of his arms.
He teases her entrance with a single finger, smirking at the filthy curses falling from her lips as she begs him to make her cum. He gives her clit a particularly harsh suck as he sinks his finger in deep. Her breathing starts coming in quick pants when he adds a second finger and then a third. When she starts folding in on herself, he pulls his fingers from her dripping hole. Her suddenly empty hole clenches around nothing as she complains about being denied the orgasm she was dancing on the edge of.
Her complaints die on her tongue when she takes in the sight of Yeosang walking on his knees towards her. Ivy sits up and meets him halfway. She can taste herself on his tongue as their lips meet for the second time and it has a fresh tidal wave of arousal all but gushing from her. His waning self-control is evident in the way he turns her around to face her headboard, pushing on her shoulders until she’s face down in in the sheets.
She whimpers at the heavy smack he rains down on her ass. He groans at the way it bounces before he grips both cheeks in his hands, pulling them apart to get a proper view of her waiting entrance. Part of him wants to tease her some more, but he doesn’t have it in him to wait one more minute. She nearly sobs at the satisfying stretch of him sinking into her eager flesh in one smooth thrust. He grinds his hips against her ass, relishing in the way her walls are hugging him so tightly. She clenches around him, trying to draw him back in as he eases his hips back only to roughly thrust his length back into her. He repeats that action a few more times to open her up before finally breaking loose.
All forms of speech beyond broken curse words and his name are lost to Ivy as Yeosang demolishes her. His pace builds till it’s almost frantic. It feels like his length is vibrating within her and she can feel her orgasm approaching quickly. She tries to warn him, but he is already well aware. He slows his hips down to a gentle roll and the change in pace has her seeing stars as he can now expertly target that sensitive spot deep within her. He reaches underneath her to rub circles in her clit and she’s lost. Black dots dance around across her vision as the pleasure threatens to completely drag her under. His hips never stop moving as he fucks her through it. The erratic clenching of her inner walls soon proves to be too much for him. He pulls out of her wet heat just in time to release his seed onto her back.
Ivy collapses onto her stomach. Exhausted beyond measure. Yeosang falls next to her breathing just as hard. He’s not going to lie and pretend that he hasn’t dived into more than his fair share of pussy, but that was easily the best sex he’s ever had. He can barely breathe but that doesn’t stop him from leaning over to press his lips against hers once more. Their chests are still heaving when they separate, choosing instead to lean his forehead against hers.
“I can’t feel my legs.” She whispers on a breathless laugh.
“Good thing I’m the king of aftercare.” He pecks her lips once more before crossing the room to her en suite bathroom to get a warm towel to clean her up with. By the time he returns, she’s fast asleep much to his surprise. Normally, Yeosang likes to end his trysts with a massage, but she’s sleeping so peacefully. He cleans up his mess before sliding back into the bed next to her as he pulls a spare blanket over them.
Yeosang awakens the next morning to an empty bed and the smell of coffee brewing. A shower is definitely in order before he seeks out Ms. Ivy. He walks into the kitchen a little while later to find her cooking breakfast in his t-shirt. It’s so domestic that for a moment he forgets that she’s legally spoken for until her wedding ring catches the sunlight from the picture windows.
“Morning.” He whispers into her ear. She jumps at the sound, obviously not realizing that he was awake yet. She relaxes against him when he wraps his arms around her midsection.
“Good morning, handsome. I’m almost done if you wanna grab some plates.” Yeosang preens at the compliment, kissing her cheek an obnoxious amount of times before grabbing plates and some silverware.
The sound of their forks clinking against their plates as they eat fills the pleasant silence as the two adults make faces across the table at each other like children. Yeosang can’t remember the last time he was this comfortable with a woman he was seeing. For the millionth time since he woke up this morning, he finds himself resenting the fact that she’s married.
“I can feel you staring.” Yeosang doesn’t bother looking up see Ivy’s facial expression at being caught as he rinses the last breakfast dish to put in the drying rack. “Spit it out before I get old and feeble.”
“What does the tattoo on your side say?” He looks up at her then, searching her face. Ivy is beginning to feel that she shouldn’t have said anything the longer Yeosang remains silent. He drys his hands on a towel, walking towards Ivy where she sits sprawled across one of the cushy armchairs in the living room. He lifts her only to set her back down in his lap.
“May you rescue us from the hand of every foe, ambush along the way, and from all manner of punishments that assemble to come to earth.” Yeosang absentmindedly strokes his fingers back and forth across Ivy’s bare thigh. “It’s part of a Hebrew prayer of protection that my mom made me get when she realized that her scolding was falling on deaf ears.”
Ivy can’t help but giggle as Yeosang enthusiastically re-enacts his mother’s words all those years ago. She’s seen the articles in the local magazines. They all tell the same story of a young street kid that found his calling and turned his life around, but words on a piece of paper doesn’t capture the nuance of who Kang Yeosang is. He doesn’t shy away from who he was. He embraces it with open arms. She listens intently as he tells the story that will never be found in any magazine. The story of how he successfully graduated from small-time dealing to running guns, drugs, and the occasional fine artifact when he was only twenty three.
“Would you do it differently if you had the chance?” Ivy picks at the hem of the Thriller he’d been wearing the day before as she awaits his answer. She’s admittedly shocked when he he gives an emphatic no.
“It wasn’t exactly something I could put on my resume, but it set this part of my life into motion.” She leans her head into the crook of his neck. Lulled into comfortable security by the vibration of his vocal cords. “I learned how to run a business. Granted, it was illegal, but I baked my first cake in jail which is what ultimately led to me opening the bakery and then meeting you.”
Time is a forgotten concept as they sit in the armchair sharing embarrassing childhood stories and fleeting kisses when they just can’t help themselves. That’s how Jin finds them. Giggling like teenagers that have finally earned closed door privileges. Yeosang freezes when he notices Jin’s still unsure how to act around him. Ivy on the other hand is excited to welcome her best friend back home.
“Jinnie!” She hops up to give him a quick hug and peck on the cheek before returning to her perch on Yeosang’s lap. Awkwardness is radiating off of the man beneath her in near tangible waves. He visibly relaxes when Ivy buries her fingers in the hair at the back of his head to scratch at his scalp.
“I missed you too, Vee. Good to see you again, Mr. Kang.” Jin winks conspiratorially at Yeosang as he cracks open the bottle of water he’d snagged from the refrigerator. “Take good care of my wife.” He adds as a parting shot on his way down the hall to his bedroom which sends Ivy into a fit of curses. Yeosang finds himself cracking a smile at the sound of Jin’s laughter somewhere down the hall.
It’s not the most conventional situation by any means, but Yeosang feels like he can make this work. He glances down at the grumbling woman in his arms. Yeah, he can definitely make this work.
Yeosang is elbow deep in bread dough for a new recipe he’s working on when he hears his phone ringing where he’d left it on the charger in his bedroom. He’s supposed to be heading to Ivy’s later tonight and he’s hoping to have her taste test his new bread when he gets there, meaning he can have no interruptions so he lets his phone go to voicemail. His phone rings again, but this time the song it plays catches his attention. The Alina Baraz song he’d set for Ivy’s ringtone drifts down the hallway. He instantly cracks a smile at the thought of the woman on the other end of that phone call. Passing up an opportunity to hear her voice is beyond Yeosang’s capabilities so he extracts himself from the dough, making a mad dash for the ringing device.
“Hey, babe.” She sniffles in his ear and all of his sense are suddenly on high alert. In all of the months since they started dating he can’t recall her crying. Ever. She’s just too happy. His mind runs through a myriad of horrible possibilities like film cuts. “Ivy, talk to me. What’s wrong?”
“I need you.” Yeosang has absolutely no idea what’s going on but his heart feels like it’s being ripped in two at the sound of her crying. He pulls his phone away from his ear when it pings. He has to swallow to keep himself together when he sees that Ivy has sent him her location.
“I’m on my way, baby. I’m coming.”
The other cars on the road look like blurs as Yeosang weaves between and around them at break neck speed. The hospital that Ivy is at is supposed to be a twenty seven minute drive according to google maps, but Yeosang is parking his mustang exactly sixteen minutes later. He’s honestly surprised that he wasn’t pulled over on the way, but his euphoric disbelief is short-lived as he dashes towards the front doors of the hospital.
“Can I help you?” The woman manning the front looks at Yeosang with a barely concealed air of distaste. He follows her eyes to his tattooed arms on display in the short sleeved shirt he’s wearing. He’s still pretty much covered in flour from his bread making and he can tell that she doesn’t think much of him. Normally, he would make an attempt to assuage people like her and show that tattoos don’t make the man, but he doesn’t have time for that.
“I’m looking for Ivy Kim.”
“I can neither confirm nor deny whether or not we have someone here by that name.”
“Listen, lady if you-” Yeosang is on the verge of falling into the trap of the old wench’s bias when he hears his name being called. He turns his head to see Jin waving him over from where he’s holding the elevator doors open. He flips the old lady off, delighting in her scandalized gasp as he jogs towards the bay of elevators.
Now that he’s closer, Yeosang notices the cuts and bruises that litter his friend’s face. He looks like he’s been beat pretty good, but he brushes off any questions about what happened. Yeosang is on the verge of choking on his nerves as he follows Jin off of the elevator to room 437.
“I’m going to get some coffee. You guys need to talk.” Jin claps Yeosang on the shoulder once as he goes back the way they came.
He’d risked life and limb to get here, but now he’s afraid to take one more step. He has no idea what’s going on, but he can feel it in his bones that nothing will be the same once he steps through this door. Yeosang’s phone vibrates just then with a notification from the Nike app about some stuff he left in his cart. The little nike swoosh on his phone screen feels like a divine sign for him to stop being such a pussy and go in the room.
Seeing Ivy curled into a ball in the middle of the hospital bed is nearly his undoing. The tears steadily streaming down her face catch the light from the hallway when she turns her head to see who it is. A sob racks her figure as she reaches for him. Yeosang shuts the door, plunging the room back into darkness as he rushes to her side. He’s not used to her looking this fragile and it’s killing him. He kicks his shoes off and climbs into the bed next to her, careful not to jostle the IV needle in her arm. She leans into his touch as he brushes her hair away from her face. The fabric of his shirt is no match for the barrage of tears that Ivy dumps on it. He lets her cry until she has nothing left. For a moment he thinks that she’s fallen asleep, but she whispers something against the skin of his neck. Her voice is so low that he can’t make it out even with her lips being mere inches from his hair.
“You’ve gotta speak up for me, love.” This time when she speaks, he hears her loud and clear.
“I lost our baby.”
He can hear her saying something about a car accident and blood, but her words don’t register in his brain. Yeosang feels like the ground has opened up beneath him, but he’s not falling. Simply hovering, drifting in the void. He hadn’t even known she was pregnant and that’s definitely something Ivy would have told him so he’s guessing that she didn’t know either. Visions of a tiny child with her doe-like eyes and his nose flash across his minds eye. Yeosang has never given much thought to being a father, but knowing that he’d created a child with Ivy only for them to be ripped away like this is tearing him apart. He holds her impossibly close, trying to anchor himself to reality. Tears are flowing down his own face as he attempts to process what they’ve lost.
“This is all my fault.” The guilt in her voice is nearly palpable. Yeosang cups her face in his hands to force her to look him in the eye.
“You did nothing wrong, Ivy. Get that thought out of you head right now, do you hear me?” Ivy nods her head slowly but Yeosang is not naive. No matter what he says, it’s going to take a while before she actually believes the truth in his words.
Jin hates to interrupt them. He loathes it, but life is cruel and Ivy’s parents just texted him that they just parked their car and are on their way inside. His feet feel heavy as he treks back down the hallway. He pokes his head into the dark room and winces at the muffled sound of them crying together.
“I’m so sorry guys, but Ivy’s parents are on their way up.” Yeosang gets the urge to laugh despite the fact that absolutely nothing is funny. This is just adding insult to injury.
Ivy clings to him like a koala when he tries to stand and he’s got half a mind to say fuck the consequences and stay. That wouldn’t be fair to Jin though. He harbors no ill will towards the man even though he’s living the life he wants so for his sake, he extricates himself from Ivy’s grasp to put his shoes on. Her bottom lip quivers dangerously as he leans down to softly kiss her forehead. Jin pulls Yeosang into a hug before he can walk past him and it takes a herculean effort for Yeosang to keep it together. His heart aches with every step he takes towards the exit stairs. It feels like someone is taking a jackhammer to his chest.
He leans his head back against the headrest when he finally reaches his car. A pained yell bursts from his throat before he can even think of trying to stop it. His horn beeps erratically as he pounds at his steering wheel in anger. Yeosang has been through hell in his twenty six years on Earth and yet, he can’t recall a time when he’s ever felt this much mental anguish and despair. Part of him wishes that he’d never stopped slinging coke and running the streets because he’d have never met Ivy and thus would’ve never experienced this. He hates that thought the second it materializes.
The shrill ringing of an old school phone that Yunho had insisted on having as his ringtone breaks through his misery. Yeosang has no desire to utter a word to anyone other than Ivy but Yunho is a persistent bastard. He’ll just keep calling until he gets an answer. He clears his throat and hopes that his childhood best friend is having an off day with those damn spidey senses of is.
“Hello?”
“Dude, have you been crying? No wonder my spirit is unsettled. The fuck is going on?” So much for eluding Yunho’s questions. Yeosang huffs out a shaky breath. He’s not even sure he’s even fully grasped what’s going on himself. He can hear the sound of keys jingling on Yunho’s end.
“Listen, I’m gonna go buy an obnoxious amount of alcohol and then I’m coming over to you place. See you in twenty.” Yunho doesn’t wait for a response, hanging up the phone with a sense of finality.
True to his word, Yunho’s car is parked in front of his building when Yeosang makes it home. His car is empty, so he’s guessing that he must have used his key and gone inside already. He’s not surprised to find Yunho nursing a beer on his couch as he scrolls through something on his phone. His eyes widen slightly as he takes in Yeosang’s haggard appearance. He knows he looks like shit so Yunho’s reaction isn’t unexpected.
It’s nearly three in the morning when they finally crash. Yunho is passed out in the guest room but sleep evades him despite the multiple beers swirling through his system. If he was sober, he probably wouldn’t make this decision, but he’s far from it so he reaches for his phone to FaceTime Ivy. The second her face replaces his on the screen, Yeosang immediately feels like he can breathe again. He’d been avoiding the feeling before now, but after everything that’s happened in the last twenty four hours? He’s tired of beating around the bush.
“I love you, Ivy.” The smile that spreads across her tired face brings Yeosang so much joy. There’s no telling how long it’s been since she’s graced the world with one of her radiant smiles. He takes it as a victory that he was the one to bring that out of her.
“I love you too, Yeosang.”
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Category: Romantic Fluff, Angst
Fandom: Fairy Tail
Characters: Lucy Heartfilia, Gray Fullbuster
Requested By: FlyingPegasus7 (Ao3)
The air echoed with screams, explosions, and the rumbling roars of dragons as Gray dashed through the cracked cobblestone streets of Crocus. The earth rumbled beneath his feet, making his steps unsteady. He fumbled over the ground as it heaved and writhed, the road beneath him fissuring at a rapid rate. As the earth in front of him hurled up a good two feet, Gray screeched to a stop to avoid tripping over the suddenly raised ground. Hastily, he skirted around the risen section of the street to resume his feverish pace, lest he become prey to the dragon skulking through the buildings behind him.
Gray rounded the corner and pressed against the brick, pausing to catch his breath. His chest heaved with gulping breaths to suck in as much oxygen as he could as quickly as possible; after several minutes of sprinting, his body was becoming deprived, and his vision fuzzed gray around the edges. As he peered around the corner of the building, he blinked rapidly to force the blurry image to clear. The ground trembled underneath him, and the quake slowly rose in intensity as a horned head rose over the roof of an apartment complex. Poison dripped from its jaws, which were also encrusted in ice from Gray’s feeble attempts to overpower the giant lizard-like monster. As the acidic substance puddled on the building and the road, the hard surfaces dissolved into mush. Thankfully for Gray, the massive beast shambled off in the opposite direction. He breathed a small sigh of relief.
He then growled and slammed his fist into the brick wall. The harsh surface shredded the skin of his knuckles, and blood smeared crimson against the mute red. What the hell am I doing?! Running away with my tail between my legs… This isn't how a mage of Fairy Tail should act! he cursed self-loathingly. Still panting slightly, he peered around the edge of the building to watch the wisps of smoke rise from the dissolved building. He said that, but what could he do against such reckless strength and hate? His fist slowly uncurled as his clenched muscles comprehended the sheer depth of his powerlessness.
Gray gasped as a chorus of frightened screams pierced the air. Instinctively, he turned his gaze heavenward to see massive blob-shaped objects falling to earth. The had been expelled from the body of the dragon circling the city. The ground rumbled beneath Gray's feet as a handful of them crashed into the nearby buildings and streets with sickening splatters. One of them collided with the apartment building against which Gray was taking shelter. The ice mage cried out and lunged forward as the roof split, sending bricks and wood beams tumbling towards him. He landed flat on his belly on the cracked cobblestone, covering his head; dust, wood bits, and brick chunks rained over him, coating his dark cloak in white powder. Somehow he escaped significant injury.
Gray pushed himself onto his elbows with a small huff and shook his head to clear the debris from his dark blue hair. As he slowly dragged himself to his feet, the half-destroyed building shuddered and groaned behind him. Water gushed from a burst pipe, rapidly forming a puddle next to the mage that lapped at the toes of his shoes. Gray turned around, brushing the chalky dust from his clothes, just in time to see a dragonoid form clawing its way out of the rubble. Gray's eyes blew wide as it snarled at him to bear razor-sharp teeth and a forked tongue.
As the creature leaped at him with a demented screech, Gray reacted on instinct and used the water beside him to freeze it within an ice wall. Its black form scowled at him from within the transparent, ridged block of ice. Before it could use brute force to escape, Gray dashed off the side street and back onto the main road. Half a dozen of the beasts prowled through the buildings, bending streetlamps in half and overturning café tables with savage headbutts. One of them took notice of his presence and hissed, jumping down from the awning it was ripping apart to shamble towards him.
Gray back-pedaled with frantic gasps, his ice magic swirling around his hand. Suddenly, the small dragon crouched down, and its slimy back bubbled grotesquely. Gray barely had time to throw himself into an alleyway as several white pointed spikes shot out of the creature's body and rocketed toward him. They collided with the brick wall above his head, burying themselves a foot deep and sending cracks rippling through the surface.
If one of those hits me, I'll be impaled! he thought before jumping on top of the dumpster and freezing the monster as it nosed into the alley. Two more of its brethren came climbing over the ice wall, screeching while Gray skirted around the corner.
I have to pick them off one-by-one! he thought as he dashed through the labyrinthine array of alleys. If I let them overwhelm me, I'm dead! It was all well and good in theory, but much harder to exercise in practice. The creatures were tenacious in their hunt for the ice mage, and obviously preferred pack pursuit. As soon as Gray encased one of them in ice, three more would replace it, shooting the white spears at him. The constant guerilla warfare was daunting, and Gray soon bordered on exhaustion. Several of the spikes had grazed him, leaving bleeding and burning abrasions over his chest’s bare skin (because at some point he'd flung his cloak to the wind). After another attempt to overpower the small dragons only to become outmatched, Gray collapsed against a dirty alley wall, sliding into a crouch and applying pressure to the small tear in his side.
"Fuck," he whispered softly as his unfocused eyes spied the trail of ruby-red droplets betraying his location. The dragons would sniff him out in due time; he could already hear the scrapes of their claws against the street and their high-pitched weals rising in volume. "Have to get out of here," he groaned and used the small ledges in the brick to haul himself into a standing position. Using the wall to bear most of his weight, he half-limped, half-jogged deeper into the alley, just as a hulky form blotted out the light seeping in from the street. The dragonoid's screech bounced in the small space, ringing in Gray's ears like a death knell.
Gray's eyes widened as a disheveled blonde girl darted into the alley ahead of him, ducking behind some silver trash bins. A few seconds later, one of the monsters skittered by the alley’s entrance, snuffling like a boar as it passed. Gray watched, frozen, as Lucy peered out into the street to ensure it had left before exhaling deeply. When she turned around, she caught sight of him.
"Gray!" she hissed and darted over just as he slumped against the wall. Her hands fluttered around his wounds but never touched, not wishing to pain him accidentally. "You're hurt…"
"It's nothing. They just grazed me." Gray looked frenziedly over his shoulder as the metallic bang of a trash bin falling on its side clanged in the passage behind him. "We gotta go." He grabbed her hand and tore away from the wall with a grunt. A smear of blood marked the place where he had leaned against the brick. For the sake of not alerting the nearby beasts to their position, Lucy stifled her protests. After taking fervent glances down both sides of the street, Gray pulled her out into the open, intending to take shelter in the half-destroyed bakery a few yards down the road. We need to regroup. Fighting these things on our own is a suicide mission! If I could find Juvia or Erza or anybody, we'll stand a better chance…!
"Gray, look out!"
Lucy's blood-curdling scream cleaved through the night air like a blade. Something knocked into Gray and sent him staggering a few paces to the left on unsteady, wobbly knees. He whipped around as he crashed into a brick wall, and then time slowed down to an agonizing pace. He watched the air warp around the razor-sharp spikes as they sailed towards Lucy, who still had her arms outstretched from pushing Gray out of the way. He watched the blood explode from her skin as the jagged points made first contact, biting into the meat of her shoulder, thigh, and abdomen like carnivorous beasts. The air vibrated with Lucy’s high-pitched, agonized wail that seemed to last hours in Gray’s roaring ears. Ruby liquid painted the cracked cobblestone, grotesque abstract artworks that only the disturbed would find beautiful. Gray watched, wide-eyed and frozen, as Lucy landed on her belly in the road, unmoving with the blood slowly pooling around her in a shining red lake.
“N-no,” he gurgled suddenly. A hard lump made it challenging to speak and release the choking sobs bubbling up in his body. He staggered towards Lucy, but his legs had gone numb. With a haggard cry, he fell on his hands and knees. Those also failed to support him, making him flop uselessly onto his belly. Groaning in agony, he forced his battered body to move. His fingernails cracked as he scraped them harshly against the cobblestone in an attempt to gain enough traction to drag himself forward. His muscles screamed in protest, but Gray managed to crawl a few feet forward where Lucy lay. The blood saturated his skin and clothes, hot and sticky and reeking of iron. Gray pawed at the girl, rolling her over onto her back, and nearly fainted with relief when he found her barely clinging to life.
“Guh… Gray…” Her whisper was but a ghost of a breath. Gray hauled himself to a sitting position with a pained cry. After a few seconds of panting and fighting back the darkness encroaching on the edges of his vision, he settled Lucy’s head into his lap.
“Lucy. Lucy, you’re gonna be okay,” he croaked. He stroked her dirt-caked, frazzled blonde hair with trembling fingers to brush it away from her pale, sweaty face. “We’re gonna get you help, Lucy. We’re gonna get you help.” She blinked slowly, barely able to keep her eyelids open to gaze at him with hazy, unfocused eyes.
“You can’t help me.” When she uttered that, Gray shattered. With a low, mournful moan, he curled over her body. The blood leaching from her wounds filled his breaths with the disgusting metallic tang and his skin burned where the red liquid smeared over it. “You can’t help me,” she repeated in a quiet, tired sigh. Tears poured from Gray’s eyes, dripping down onto her ghostly white face and neck.
“No. Don’t say that, don’t say that,” he began babbling nonsensically. “Help, gonna get- gonna get help, Lucy, don’t die, don’t die!” His violently quaking hands struggled to cup the small frame of her face. “Lucy… Lucy, I love you… Please, don’t go, don’t leave me, I love you, I love you!” His mind began to swim with fierce regrets. I should’ve told her sooner. I shouldn’t have let it end like this! I should’ve done something, I should have saved her! It should have been me! It should have been me! “Lucy… Lucy…” he crooned in broken whispers as the light faded from her eyes and her body grew still with death. The ground trembled with a rising quake, and in the near distance, Gray heard the unmistakable hiss of a dragon.
He didn’t care. He continued to cradle Lucy’s body, lamenting every bit of warmth that slowly faded from her skin. His body began to bounce with the intensity of the dragon’s weighty steps. He didn’t care.
What can a man do in such a moment, aside from embrace death?
Reality splintered. Gray had the odd sensation of floating in space as time warped around him into fractured, unfocused momentary blips. Voices echoed around him, but he couldn't understand any words. Gray closed his eyes, feeling like his entire being was falling apart, and then-
There he was, standing in the middle of the street again, holding Lucy’s hand. Gray’s hazy mind couldn’t process what had just occurred; it only became dominated with the incredible urge to act. He whirled around and tackled Lucy to the ground, causing her to squeak in surprise. In the next second, several of the white spikes sailed overhead. They crashed harmlessly into the nearby building, sending the brick wall crumbling. Without hesitating, Gray slapped his palm down and blasted a massive ice wall in the direction the spikes had come from. There were a few pained squeals, and then nothing, nothing aside from the rumbles of the ongoing war around them. He looked down to see Lucy gawking wide-eyed at him, her chest heaving with gulping breaths.
“Gray, I… I…” Her hands roamed her body, searching for the grievous wounds but finding her skin unmarred. She swallowed thickly and then whispered, “I died.” A hard lump formed in Gray’s throat. He couldn’t force out words, so he just nodded forlornly. Lucy’s fingers dug deep into the meat of his upper arms as tears flooded her eyes. “And you… And you…” Her eyelashes fluttered, sending the droplets coursing down her cheeks- cheeks rosy with the flush of life, not pale white with the oncoming of death. “I love you too.”
Kissing in the middle of the battlefield probably wasn’t the best idea, but Gray went right ahead and did it anyway.
His lips smashed against Lucy’s in a fierce, passionate, emotional kiss. Lucy’s fingers carded into his hair, scraping her nails over his scalp as he ravished her mouth with a tenacity. She fought for dominance for a few seconds, but soon yielded to the waves of passion rolling off the ice mage, allowing herself to be swept up in the tsunami. When she sighed wantonly, Gray took the opportunity to slide his tongue into her mouth. The hot muscles swirled ardently in a feverish dance, spreading a warmth and love that Gray had never known through his body. It lasted only a minute or so, but to the impassioned mages, it might as well have been an eternity. No matter how much they wanted to ignore the rumbling and roaring around them, they could not ignore the fraught dangers of their reality forever.
As Gray pulled away from Lucy, he grabbed her by her upper arms, hauling her into a sitting position. He pressed another searing kiss to her forehead and then cupped her face.
“After this, I swear on everything that I’m taking you on a damn good date,” he promised. Lucy blinked, then smiled warmly, for she heard the unspoken order hidden within the vow: live. Gray stroked her cheeks with his thumbs to catch the tears that leaked out of her eyes.
“I’m looking forward to it.” You live too, her eyes beseeched. He pressed his forehead to hers, confirming their promises with a single glance.
Live, so I can love you properly.
Enjoy this oneshot? Feel free to peruse my Table of Contents!
Tag List: @deliathedork @searchfortheonepiece
#graylu#gray x lucy#lucy x gray#gray fullbuster#lucy heartfilia#fairy tail#ft graylu#fairy tail graylu#ft fanfic#ft fanfiction#fairy tail fanfic#fairy tail fanfiction#graylu fanfic#graylu fanfiction
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FUCK THSI POST AND HAPPY BRITHDAY HANAMAKI TAKAHIRO
im so soft for all of the seijou third years and makki is not an exception. we may have been heavily deprived of makki content but i still love him and yes even though i have 3 wips i am dropping all my shit to write for hanamaki
enjoy this really fast-written but lovingly-written fic :) I LOVE U MAKKI
-
As soon as Hanamaki wakes up, there’s something obviously off.
He isn’t stupid. He’s always wondered why those people in dollar-cheap romance novels never seem to know what’s up when it’s their birthday. Like, gee, what’s going on? Why is my S/O so sketchy today, on my birthday? Why are all of my friends busy? He’s always wondering maybe they just have garbage self-esteem.
Fortunately for him, you’re a terrible actor.
“Morning, Makki~” Your voice is oddly awake despite Hanamaki having just woken up.
“Morning.” Hanamaki stretches lazily and his arm rests around your head. You’re wearing one of his old jerseys and he thinks it’s fitting for the occasion. “Guess whose special day it is.”
“U-Um, I don’t know.” You sound a little bit nervous although your smile’s still radiant on your face.
(He thinks it’s adorable how excited you are for his birthday.)
“B-But, you should get ready for today!! I do too, actually, so, um, I’m gonna get changed and head out..” Your excitement breaks through your ‘calm’ voice and you practically jump out of bed, kissing his forehead before dashing out. “Sorry, babe!”
“Sorry for what?”
“Um, nothing!”
“Just my luck,” Hanamaki mutters to himself. “It’s raining?”
He walks out of his favorite bakery with a box of cream puffs-- the last box of the bakery, in fact-- and suddenly it’s drizzling rain, an earthy scent flooding the world around him.
He’s a little bit frustrated-- god damn, could they at least warn him? At least so he could bring an umbrella.-- but he pays no mind. Oikawa, Iwaizumi, and Matsukawa have all been “busy” with plans (although Matsukawa spammed him with a shit-ton of memes and a ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU ASS <3 FULL HOMO), and you’re obviously doing something either for him or something illegal, so he knows to expect something.
Although he can’t help but shake the paranoid worm in his gut that… maybe everyone is busy? Maybe they really couldn’t spare time for his birthday…
He brushes it off, and walks back home in the rain as he shields his cream puff box.
The rain really does make walking-traffic bad.
Hanamaki was expecting to stroll home in a solid 10 minutes, but he’s stuck in an angry mob of people who are half-drenched like him. He thanks whoever’s up there for giving him a strong immune system, otherwise he’s sure that he’d be sniveling and sneezing on his special day.
He’s trying to guess how much time it’ll take to get home now- five more minutes? Seven? Ten more?- before his phone vibrates so hard in his back-pocket he would’ve thought someone shoved a vibrator back there. There’s most likely no mafia or yakuza here, so Hanamaki takes advantage of the slow-moving crowd and takes out his phone.
There it is: the barrage of texts from you. He knew you would break down eventually, asking if he’d come home soon, but he wasn’t expecting pages and pages of texts.
the fiona to my shrek:
hiro
hiro
are u ignoring me
bc that isnt nice
HIROOOO
HIROOOOOO
helloooooo
where tf are u
likeeee not tryna be sus or anything but
i need u home
preferably in like
ten minutes
no im not horny
unless u want me to be 😏🤪🤪
pleaseee
u asshat whyd u turn off ur location
please answer?
are you mad at me :(
is it abt this morning?
i didnt mean to brush u off
i swear i didnt forget abt ur birthday
and im like not planning anything or something ok
please come home?
ily <3
hiro
Makki.
hanamaki
hanamaki takahiro
loser baby
the shadow to my sonic
please respond and come home? :(
youre my shrek 5 trailer
OKAY BITCH FINE
im sorry ur not a bitch love u mwah
i mean maybe you are a bitch? but i still love u mwah mwah mwah
are u even reading this
i stg ill be so embarrassed if ur just busy or sum
COME HOMEEEE
ok bye :)
He really does think it’s adorable how much you care about this.
Rolling his eyes, he taps out a quick response:
“yea omw home”
“oh, a surprise you say? ill be home soon”
He slips it into his pocket even though he feels the vibrations of the twenty or so texts that you rapid-fire send to him, most likely defending the fact that you’re definitely, absolutely not planning any shit for his ass, but he smiles to himself anyway.
He doesn’t even mind the fact he’s getting soaked in the rain. He’s excited to see what you’ve been planning.
“Home,” Hanamaki yells out. “Where are you, you big stinker?”
There isn’t an answer, which Hanamaki supposes is a little bit cliché but he doesn’t mind that much. His shared apartment with you is dark and he has to flicker on some lights through the house before he hears the faint illusion of hurried whispers. He barely makes out a voice to be yours.
“Oh! He’s here!”
“No shit he’s here. Who else comes in and yells he’s home?”
“I dunno Mattsun~ Maybe [Name]-chan has someone on the side?”
“Shut the fuck up, all of you.”
“Thank you, Hajime!”
“Shut up oh my god I think he’s listening to us.”
“Shhh!”
Hanamaki hears a dull clatter from the other room and he hides behind the wall, content with listening for a little bit longer.
“Oikawa you fucking dolt! You knocked over the forks!”
“Sorry, [Name]-chan!”
“Just pick it up already.”
“I don’t mean to burst your bubbles but I’m pretty sure he’s literally just vibing in the other room, listening to us.”
Hanamaki decides to make you all happy and takes a step. He’s kind of delighted in the way you all immediately shut up, save for your hissed quiet!, and he takes another step. Eventually he can’t take it and casually walks into the room.
It’s dark and he can’t really adjust to everything, and he’s about to say something slightly funny before the entire room illuminates and he sees his former third-year team and girlfriend yell, “Happy birthday Makki!!!!”
Makki knows that he was expecting some sort of surprise. Ever since that morning he woke up and saw you and your oddly adorable, alert face, he knew that something like this was going to happen. But still, it took just a few more seconds to register.
There was a cutely handmade banner that read Happy Birthday Makki in big, teal letters, and there were balloons strewn around the room that he knew would eventually be victims of balloon volleyball. On the table that you were all surrounding was a good, small pile of gifts and a tower of cream puffs. Not a cake, but a giant fucking tower of cream puffs.
Oh, so that’s where all the bakery’s cream puffs went.
“Oh god. You stupid idiots.” Hanamaki realizes his voice has gotten a little hoarse with sentiment, and he clears his voice and naturally, his lazy smile comes back. “I’m honored that you buffoons really planned this out for me. Clown party!”
“Be grateful, you big dummy!” You practically throw yourself onto him, and he finds himself latching onto you too. “I love you so much, Makki, happy birthday!!”
Hanamaki smiles and as if on cue, you lift up your head and smile back. He feels his heart beat a little bit faster and he remembers why he’s been loving his birthdays ever since he met you.
“Guess I love you too.”
#hanamaki takahiro#hanamaki takahiro x reader#hanamaki takahiro scenarios#takahiro hanamaki#takahiro hanamaki x reader#takahiro hanamaki scenarios#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu scenarios#haikyuu x reader scenarios#hq x reader#hq x reader scenarios#IM SO SOFT FOR HIM#i love hanamaki takahiro#stan all seijou third years!#i love him :)
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Happiness || Chapter 8
Fandom: Servamp
Characters: Mahiru, Kuro, Licht, Hyde
Pairings: KuroMahi (main), LawLicht (side)
Summary: Mahiru found a baby in front of his orphanage and he thought that it belonged to Kuro. But the infant could be the key to finding his lost mother. {Historical Romance// Family AU}
Ch.1 || Ch.2 || Ch.3 || Ch.4 || Ch.5 || Ch.6 || Ch.7 || (Ch.8) ||
“Someone, please save me.” Hyde groaned the plea as he collapsed onto the couch. He was woken early in the morning by the children and he hadn’t been able to catch his breath since. Licht was busy cooking breakfast for twenty children so Hyde was left to watch over the orphans. They would pull on his arm and demand him to play eight games at once. He was exhausted and he wondered if he and his siblings were as energetic. He understood why his brother slept in so often when they were kids.
Hyde felt a light tug on his hair and he reluctantly opened his eyes. A young girl stood next to the couch with a book in her arms. She appeared to be four years old. She had large, expressive eyes so he knew that she wanted him to read the book to her even before she asked. He was taken aback by the way she phased her request. She dropped the thick book onto his nose and cause him to roll over in pain.
“What the fuc—” He stopped himself from swearing when he remembered that there were children nearby. Hyde was certain that Licht would be angry with him if he accidentally taught them swear words. He sat up and picked up the book where it fell onto the floor. He found that it was a collection of fairy tales and flipped through the stories. “Which one do you want to hear? Beauty and the Beast was my favourite when I was your age. It has magic and drama.”
“Licht always read that one to us. Can you read us another one?” She climbed onto the couch and sat next to him. He slowly flipped through the stories and waited for her to choose one. She placed her hand on a page and pointed to an illustration. “Flying princess! She must be an angel. Licht says I’m an angel too and I’ll be adopted soon.”
Hyde didn’t know how to respond to her confident statement. Most orphans weren’t able to find an adoptive family and they would have to go out to the world alone. For the children to have such hopeful eyes, he knew that Licht raised them well.
While he was born into privilege, he travelled often and saw orphans at the docks. He thought of the broken eyes they had as they begged for money. He would give money to them but he wished he could do more. Since his mother left and his father died, he understood the feeling of being lost in the world without guidance. His siblings were all struggling with grief and loss so he couldn’t turn to them.
“When you get adopted, I hope you remember the family you have here.” He said in a soft voice and patted her head.
“Licht says that a lot too.” She looked to where Licht was cooking in the kitchen. “Are you an angel too, Mr. Servamp?”
“I’m sure Lichtan have told you that I’m not. I’m just a regular human.” His answer was mixed with a small chuckle. Hyde started to read the fairy tale to her. The other orphans noticed him with the large book and gathered around him to listen to the story as well. He showed her the picture and then flipped the book around so the other children could see the imagine.
Once Licht was finished cooking, he walked out of the hot kitchen to tell the children to wash the kitchen. He was slightly surprised to find Hyde reading to the children. Licht had never seen the kids so engaged with a story. Hyde didn’t notice him enter the room and continued the tale with different voices and wide gestures. “The witch told the Prince that the only way to break the Princess’s curse was to catch a falling star. He didn’t know how he would do this. What do you think he should do?”
“A giant net!” One suggested.
“Maybe a magic spell?”
“You will have to wait to find that out until after dinner.” Licht’s voice interrupted the story. The children appeared disappointed but he didn’t want the food to become cold while they finished the tale. He steeled himself against their pleading eyes and gestured for them to stand. “Wash your hands and set the table for breakfast. The quicker you’re finished eating, the sooner you can hear ending.”
They followed his instructions and dashed into the kitchen to wash their hands and grab the dishes. As Hyde replaced the book on the bookshelf, Licht walked to him. “You can leave that on the couch. The children will ask you to read it as soon as we finish eating. Now, go prepare for breakfast. You’re a role model to those kids so you have to be on your best behaviour.”
“You made me breakfast as well?” Hyde couldn’t hide his surprise. His reaction caused Licht to roll his eyes. He took the book from him and lightly tapped it against his chest. Pride hardened his blue eyes and Hyde thought of how attractive he was.
“Your brother guilted you into staying to help take care of the children. I don’t want to accept charity given out of guilt. Breakfast should be a good payment. I’m not a good cook like Mahiru but it’s edible.” Licht told him and set the book down on the couch. “The kids seem to like but be careful if they get too attached to you. I don’t want them to be hurt.”
“I think they’re great kids, even if they’re a little tiring. I won’t do anything to hurt them.” He wanted to reassure him yet doubt clouded Licht’s expression.
“You might do that even if you don’t mean to. Every time someone comes in, they get hopeful for the future. They can’t help themselves.” Despite Licht’s hard eyes, it was clear to see how much he cared for the orphans. He didn’t want to see them hurt by hope but having them become disillusion would be worse. They might never be adopted but Licht did his best to give them a fulfilling childhood.
“If I hurt them unintentionally, you’re free to kick me.” Hyde said and a small chuckle escaped Licht. He hadn’t heard him laugh before and he thought it was charming.
Licht walked ahead of him to where the children ate. He didn’t sit down but took care of them as they ate. He handed a napkin to a boy to wipe his face and then fixed a girl’s hair so the strands wouldn’t fall into her food. Without looking, he gestured to an empty seat he had set out. “That’s your breakfast, Shit Rat. Finish it before it gets cold.”
“Yes, Angel Cakes.” He gave him a sarcastic smile and sat in the seat. He looked down at the plate of eggs and bacon yet he doubted either was edible like Licht claimed. Hyde poked at the food and glanced around the table. They all ate the food happily. He felt someone poke his side and he turned to the child next to him.
She smiled up at him and said, “Eat. It’s not the best in the world but it’s still good. Licht works hard to cook for us each morning so we pretend to like it. His eggs are better than the bacon.”
“I love bacon.” Hyde lied. He scooped his eggs into his fork and gave it to her. He stole the charred bacon from her plate and said, “I’ll trade you eggs for them.”
“You can have my bacon too!” The child on his right said and gave him a portion of his food. Others quickly followed and Hyde found a pile of bacon on his plate. He was certain that they wanted to avoid eating the bacon by giving it to him. He only chuckled and bit into the burnt meat. Licht watched him interact with the orphans and a smile softened his face.
“I’m back!” Hyde entered the apartment but he was quickly stopped by Kuro. He stepped into the foyer and gestured for him to be quiet. He pointed through the living room’s door to where Mahiru and Machi were asleep in a rocking chair. Even as he slept, he held her safe and secure in his arms. There was a jacket over Mahiru’s lap that he recognized as Kuro’s. He likely placed it on him after he fell asleep.
“Mahiru just got Machi to take her afternoon nap. He was tired and he fell asleep too. Let’s not wake them up.” Kuro said and then nodded towards the dining room. “The tea is still hot so my butler can pour you some if you want. There’s something I need to tell you and you should sit down.”
“Shouldn’t we put Machi in her crib? It’s dangerous if he accidentally drops her in his sleep.” Hyde asked and walked to the rocking chair. He was still doubtful that his mother was still alive and that she had another child. He didn’t want the baby to be hurt though. It was clear that Mahiru cared for children so he was surprised that he would be so careless with Machi.
Before Kuro could stop him, Hyde placed his hand on Machi’s swaddle. He was taken aback when Mahiru suddenly lifted his hand and struck him. Hyde stepped back with a groan and placed his hand on his nose. “Fuck. This is the second time today someone hurt me like that.”
“Sorry, Hyde, I should’ve warned you. Mahiru has the instincts of a mother bear even while he’s asleep. He’ll punch you if you try to take Machi.” He said in a small whisper. “He’s tired so he goes back to sleep immediately. With Machi, we get half the amount of sleep we usually do.”
“I’ve only worked at the orphanage for a night but I understand the struggle of raising a kid.” He said. He saw the way Kuro carefully adjusted the jacket on his lap that had fallen off.
Their voices woke Mahiru and he opened his eyes to find Kuro’s face inches from him. They both blush and Mahiru leaned back in the rocking chair. The chair swung back and his lips accidentally brushed against Kuro’s cheek. For a breathless moment, neither of them moved. His skin was warm like he remembered and the familiar heat drew him closer.
Mahiru felt a small tug on his shirt and he looked down. Machi had woken as well and she made soft whimpers. He lightly placed his finger over her palm and she held it in return. She started to suck on her other hand so he knew that she was hungry. He slid under Kuro’s arm and stood up. “Machi’s hungry. I’m going to prepare a bottle for her. Do you want to talk to your brother about Reika’s visit while I do that?”
“Our old nanny visited?” He asked. They walked to the kitchen and Mahiru handed Machi to Kuro so he could get a bottle for her. At first, she turned in his arms but she calmed down after he comforted her by patting her stomach. He sat at the table and faced his brother.
“Reika came this morning and she hasn’t changed since we were children. The visit was… a little overwhelming.” Kuro told him and then let out a heavy groan. “Sit down, Hyde.”
“In my letter, I requested that they send me information through a letter since I would be too busy to speak with them in person.” His brows drew together. “The reason I wanted a letter was to have everything in writing. In the past, people would tell me one thing but then change the story. A letter would be the best way to hold them accountable to their lies about mother. What did she say?”
“Reika claims that mother had a lover and they went to France the night she disappeared. I questioned her about this and she seemed very confident that this is what happened. She didn’t tell us earlier because Mother asked her to keep it a secret.” Kuro spoke in a gentle voice because he didn’t want to overwhelm Hyde. He knew that Hyde cared for their mother and didn’t want to think she left them willingly.
After a long moment, Hyde asked: “Did she tell you the name of the lord?”
“No.” Kuro didn’t expect for him to be so calm.
“It has been a popular rumour that mother had a secret lover and that’s the reason she disappeared. There are as many whispers about her being kidnapped. Reika’s word isn’t enough for me. She might’ve put on a convincing act for you but I’ve been told too many lies to believe her word alone.” Hyde leaned back in his chair and stared at the ceiling.
“How should we investigate what she told us?” Kuro trusted his brother’s opinion. He looked down at Machi and lightly tickled her cheek. They were both skeptical people but her presence was the best lead they had to find his mother. She didn’t understand the conversation and only babbled incoherently. Her bright eyes told him that she wanted to communicate with them.
“Mahiru, I think Machi is getting impatient for milk.” Kuro told Mahiru and she nodded.
“I’ll feed her in the living room so we won’t interrupt your discussion. We don’t want to bother you.” He set down a pot of tea between the brothers before he lifted Machi into his arms. “If you need me, call my name and I’ll come.”
“You can stay.” Kuro stopped him from leaving by placing his hand on his arm. “I would like for you to listen and give your thoughts. You’re smart and you see things most people miss. Machi won’t bother us if she’s distracted by her food.”
“If you’re sure.” Mahiru said and sat in a chair next to him.
#servamp#kuromahi#lawlicht#sloth pair#greed pair#servamp kuro#mahiru shirota#servamp hyde#licht jekylland todoroki#fanfiction
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Sugar and Spice
Title: Sugar and Spice
Author: Katie @sunlightdances
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem Reader
Author’s Note: Inspired by this post. Pretending to be engaged so you can eat free cake samples at a bakery.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Bucky, or Marvel. The original prompt isn’t mine, either. Please don’t repost my work on any other sites (ao3, wattpad, etc.) without my permission! Reblogs make me so happy.
“You’re Bucky Barnes, right?” The voice to his left startles him. “If you’re an Avenger, you have to tell me.”
He blinks. “I think that’s how it works for cops.”
You wave a hand. “Whatever. I need help.”
Immediately he straightens to his full height, coffee abandoned on the table in front of him. “What’s wrong?” His eyes dart around to all corners of the bakery, but he doesn’t see anything amiss.
“There’s a lady who works here. Real stick in the mud. I’ve been dying to try this cake of hers. She said she only gives samples to brides shopping for wedding cakes.”
Bucky blinks again, because he honestly has no idea what the fuck to say. “What?”
“I need you to pretend to be my fiance so we can eat some free cake. It’s a win/win, if you ask me.”
“I don’t think--”
“You’re supposed to protect and serve--”
“Again, I think that’s the cops--”
“It would really serve me if I could eat some cake and protect this bakery from me trying to steal it from behind the counter without everyone noticing.”
Bucky sighs. He can’t very well let a crime go down while he’s sitting here. He’d never hear the end of it from Steve. He’s not sure he’ll ever hear the end of this, either, but you’re practically bouncing on your toes in front of him, eyes sparkling and a grin growing on your face as you realize he’s close to giving in.
He’s a little mesmerized by the sight, to be honest.
“I can’t be your fake fiance if I don’t know your name,” he says, and your smile is a mile wide as you tell him your name and hold out your hand for him to shake. “Won’t she realize we’ve just met? I come here all the time and she recognizes me.”
“Leave it all to me,” you say, and grab his hand, dragging him towards the counter. He’s a little stunned as he realizes you’ve got a tight grip on his metal hand, not even noticing or caring.
Bucky’s seen you here before a time or two. You mostly spend time reading, or working on your laptop. He’s not blind - he’s noticed you before and wanted to say something, to introduce himself or ask to buy your coffee, but he’s always chickened out.
He has no idea how he’s ever going to explain this turn of events.
“Excuse me, Amanda?” You ask sweetly, getting the attention of an older woman behind the counter. “You’re never going to believe this.”
.
.
.
A half hour later, and you and Bucky are in a small, private room in the back of the bakery, three plates with tiny cakes in front of you. Bucky has to admit, as far as nefarious plans go, this one has some sweet, sweet rewards.
It’s easily the best cake he’s ever eaten in his life, and he’s more than a little distracted by the noise you keep making every time you try a new flavor.
“Uh,” he says around a mouthful, “How long are we going to do this? This is our fifth cake tasting.”
“She hasn’t brought out the special one yet, Buck.” You tell him, the nickname so many of his friends use rolling off your tongue like you were always meant to be saying it.
“What’s so special about it?”
“I’ve seen it once, but she never serves it at the counter. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever set my eyes on, Bucky.”
He rolls his eyes, but smiles. “What happens when we leave here and don’t buy anything?”
You prop your head up on your palm, smiling sweetly at him.
His eyes widen. “Oh, no. No. We are not buying a wedding cake just so you can eat an entire cake in one sitting.”
Your face contorts into mock offense. “Hey! That’s rude. I’d share with you, dummy, but not if you’re going to be like that--”
“Why me?”
“What?”
Bucky slouches a little, already feeling full. “Why did you ask me? There’s a ton of people in there.”
You shrug, a little tinge of pink settling on your cheekbones. “I see you there a lot, and you’re almost always by yourself.”
Bucky feels a little ashamed, just for a half second. He’s a loner, sue him. Sometimes he can’t stand being in the Tower and needs to get out of there, despite everyone’s best efforts to make him feel like he has a home there, like he belongs.
“I just-- I don’t know. I’m by myself a lot, too. Thought we’d make a good pair.”
His heart starts to race a little bit at the hope in your eyes. He opens his mouth to reply, but you stop him by grabbing his arm tight, watching as Amanda brings out the next cake. “Bucky. That’s it. The cake.”
It’s beautiful, for sure. An off-white, with a sprinkle of something sugary and sparkly over top that has him practically drooling.
“Here you go, the final option. It’s one of our most popular cakes.”
You’re beaming and Bucky can’t help but chuckle, the excitement on your face infectious. You both grab your forks and dig in.
The taste explodes in his mouth. It’s sweet and buttery and flaky… the frosting just right, and-- wait. You’re sort of frozen, managing to chew the rest and swallow before sending a tight smile in Amanda’s direction.
“I’ll leave you two to decide.” She leaves, and Bucky immediately turns to you, concern on his face.
“What’s wrong?”
You smile, but it’s weak. “This is what I get for lying. It’s karma, and now I’m going to die because of it.”
“What?”
“Coconut, Sarge. That’s the special ingredient.”
“And?”
“I’m allergic to coconut.” You say, eyes starting to water a bit. “Nothing too bad, but my throat is probably going to swell up because I was so excited I took a giant bite, and--”
“Slow down.” He stands, offering his hand to you, “Come on.”
“What?” You take his hand, bewildered. “Where are we going?”
“To the Tower. Dr. Cho can give you a shot and it beats waiting at urgent care.”
You follow Bucky as he tugs you towards the door, Amanda coming back in looking a bit offended.
“So sorry,” Bucky says, praying to whatever God exists that he can muster up enough of that 40s charm to get you both out of this, “There’s been a family emergency. We’d love to come back and talk more, and pay you, of course-”
“Please, it’s okay. Just promise you won’t get the cake anywhere else!”
“Thank you so much for understanding.”
Bucky all but drags you out of the bakery and pulls his phone out of his pocket, asking Steve to let the Med Bay know they’re coming.
“You-- you liar!” You sputter, and he looks to you, alarmed. “You made it seem like you’re such a goody two shoes, but you just charmed her socks off like it was nothing--”
“You need to stop talking, your tongue is swelling up.”
You frown. “This is what I get. I’m going to die on a New York street all because I wanted some cake.”
“You’re not going to die.”
“If I don’t make it, I want you to know you’re the best fake fiance I ever had.”
Bucky snorts, rolling his eyes. “Okay, settle down.” He flags down a cab, tugging you inside after him and asking the cabbie to step on it. If his voice is a little harder than normal and he looks a little more menacing than usual… well. Anyone would be worried about your well being during an allergy attack. That’s all it is.
.
.
.
“Ow!”
Bucky smirks. “That couldn’t have hurt.”
You glare. “Just because you’re built like a sumo wrestler--”
“It’s going to take a minute, but you should feel the swelling start to go down soon,” Dr. Cho says, smiling softly at your antics.
“Thanks, Helen.” Bucky says softly, leaning back against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest.
“You know,” you begin when she leaves the room, “You told her we’d come back and buy a cake.”
“I’ll send Stark over there the next time it’s someone’s birthday. The money will make her forget all about us.”
You’re fidgeting. “I don’t know. I was sort of looking forward to a coffee date.”
Bucky’s brain short circuits. You’re blushing again and it’s so cute and you’re so different to anyone he’s ever met. “Yeah?” He croaks, trying and failing to find that suave part of him that showed up briefly earlier.
“Yeah. I- I maybe had ulterior motives for the cake tasting.”
He can feel the grin stretching across his face. “Should have known.”
“Don’t get cocky. It was mostly for the cake.”
“Right. Mostly.”
You smile genuinely at him. “Fine. Only a little bit. Mostly wanted an excuse to talk to you. It kind of-- spiralled from there.”
“I’d love to have coffee with you.” Bucky says softly, taking in the freckles dusting your cheeks and the way your eyes light up when you hear his reply.
“Are you sure? I’m a criminal.”
“You lied to get some cake. I think you’ll avoid jail time.”
Later, Bucky drops you off at home, allergy-free, with your phone number scribbled on his hand and a kiss to his cheek that sets fire to his entire body.
“Until next time, fiance.” You say, and he smiles, softly, adoringly, unable to help himself.
“Next time.” He agrees, watching you go.
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