#i mean i guess this could be considered vent art
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Sleep Mode
#my art#vent art#i mean i guess this could be considered vent art#lately I've been having what i can only really describe as like. functional depression.#like how there are functional alcoholics and stuff but there's no substance use. im just perpetually mildly to moderately depressed#but not enough so to impact my ability to do school work and leave the house. it's like I'm on autopilot. sleep mode.#i cannot bring myself to socially interact outside of being explicitly prompted by someone else to do so.#i cannot bring myself to do things i used to enjoy. i can only do things that are required of me and like. adhd cantripts.#like scrolling through tumblr on my phone or watching youtube videos. i cant make myself read i can barely make myself draw#i cant make myself learn something new if it's not needed for school. i can't do anything. its like before i got on my adhd medication.#it started getting worse when i got covid last month. id imagine that is related but i dont know how.#or what to do about it. i should probably make an appointment with my psychiatrist to start.#sorry that i use tumblr as a public diary. insert that image where it's like 'things i tell my friends my family and my tumblr mutuals'
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I am having. A Day™
#my college's art department is having an open studio night#and its the first time ive had works in an exhibit like this#but then the friends i went with just straight up ditched me to go to the mall#literally all i was asking was for them to take like ten extra minutes to come see a couple more of my works with me#but no i guess their spontaneous mall trip was more important or whatever#i mean i personally wouldnt do that to any of my friends but yknow. fucking. whatever i guess#but it is kinda pathetic of me to be upset tbh. considering i barely hangout with these people in the first place#so its kinda petty of me to get mad at them for being bad friends when i guess were not even really friends at all#but like honestly i was able to enjoy the exhibit a lot more after they left#and i did another walk of the whole thing on my own after so i could take it in without worrying about losing the group#so like. i have no right to complain about being ditched when i shouldve gone by myself in the first place dksjgj#drew-jupiter is typing#vent
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what type of lover is sam winchester?
sam winchester x reader (fluff headcanons)
"Wait for the signal and I'll meet you after dark
Show me the places where the others gave you scars
Now this is an open-shut case
Guess I should've known from the look on your face
Every bait and switch was a work of art"
-willow by taylor swift
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WARNING(S)
I'm just on season 14 atm, but I took a break from watching it to focus on other things, so I apologize if his character is inaccurate.
gender neutral reader
this is my first time writing for supernatural, please be understanding of this
This is kinda short
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psychical touch
he's not very big on PDA, other than hand holding or a simple little peck on the cheek/hand every now and then.. but in private? this man cannot get enough.
If you're a night owl, he's the type to sit on the couch with his head laying on your lap at like 2 am, trying to fight off sleepiness just so he can be with you. when you two sleep together, he pulls you as close as humanly possible and sleeps with his face in the crook of your neck.
he's constantly showering you with kisses on your nose, on your mouth, on your cheeks, on your hand, you name it.
He's the type to kiss you goodbye, then pull you back into another kiss, and then another, and then another, until you have to psychically pull yourself away from him.
Sometimes when he gets spooked he'll involuntarily grab your hand.
Now don't get me wrong, he enjoys when you give him the same energy, he loves for you to comb your fingers through his hair, or when you wrap your arms around his arm when you two are walking around (it doesn't matter where you're going)
if you were to randomly walk up to him and hug him, he would literally melt into you, he would do all he could to prolong the hug as much as possible, just to stay in your embrace.
When you two are cuddling, he's a little spoon (I will die on this hill.)
love language
words of affirmation
This man is a poet when it comes to you, he will wake up in the morning and just start telling you the sweetest things you have ever heard.
he will quite literally have you swooning over him, and he means every bit of what he says.
Although I wouldn't call him an insecure person, you would have to return the favor, even if it's just little confirmation that you still love him.
He's constantly worried that his line of work would cause you to get hurt, or worse.. so you would have to remind him that you don't have any second thoughts, that you can take care of yourself and that you don't want to be with anyone else.
acts of service
He loves doing things for you, whether it's carrying your bags, or running you a bath.
he'll do things without you even having to ask.
if you show any interest in something in a store, consider it yours.
Quality time
hes fine with going out to a nice restaurant, but he's also okay with just having a homemade dinner with you. He's happy as long as he gets to spend time with you.
He's an okay cook. but he likes to cook with you, it's his favorite way to spend quality time with you
Sometimes though, he would rather go to a restaurant he enjoys seeing you get all dolled up, it makes his heart melt.
When y'all first started dating, he definitely had to ask dean for date ideas, but once y'all finally got fully secure in your relationship, he'd just ask you what you wanted to do.
He enjoys sitting at home and reading with you, or doing research on whatever case him and dean are working on at the moment.
He greatly appreciates if you help him with his research as well, if you were to find something before him, he'd compliment you and tell you how smart you were, & how much of a help you were to him.
He's just a little sweetie pie
(I love him so much YALL DON'T EVEN KNOWW)
fights
Honestly, fights with him aren't that bad.
He will let you vent out all of your emotions, but if he thinks you're being irrational he will let you know.
He does have a habit of storming into another room, or going quiet whenever he feels himself get genuinely angry, mainly because he doesn't wanna yell/blow up at you.
After he cools down, he will attempt to resolve whatever it was that caused the fight to begin with.
Oftentimes, he will try to avoid conflict with you all together.
I can just imagine the two of you fighting in front of dean and Castiel, and them just standing there like "🧍🏼♂️👀"
If it's a really bad fight, he'll need a little moment alone to settle down.
jealousy
imma give him a 4.5/10 on the jealousy scale.
He's secure enough in himself, and your relationship to where he doesn't feel jealous over little things.
but if somebody tests it, he will let it be known that you're his.
Like, if a cashier at a store were to flirt with you, despite him being right next to you he'll shoot them a confused yet humored look while sneaking his hand around your waist & pulling you closer.
what kind of lover is sam winchester?
overall, sam winchester is such a great lover his love is so bittersweet, kind, patient, and understanding. He's such a sweetheart ♡
#sam winchester x reader#sam winchester#supernatural#gender neutral reader#tags for reach#cutie patootie#sam winchester x you#fluff#supernatural fluff#sam winchester fluff#sam winchester x y/n
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DAYCARE ATTENDANT IN HELP WANTED 2
FUCK YESSSS!! I REALLY THOUGHT RUIN WOULD BE SUN AND MOON'S LAST MAJOR APPEARANCE BUT NO!! NEW TRAILER IS OUT AND ITS TIME TO ANALYSE!!!
WE FINALLY GET TO DO ARTS AND CRAFTS WITH SUN!! This seems to be a puzzle mini game where you make Paper Pals!! I'm guessing, if you mess up the Paper Pal, you get jumpscared (probably by Moon) or it could be a time trail. It does seem weirdly DARK in the clip for Sun to still be here, but maybe that was intentional? Or not.
(those red doors seem to have lightbulbs on them, maybe there's a mechanic where we need to stop the lights from going out?)
Edit: I have even more evidence to suggest that the lights will be a feature in this minigame! In the one clip, if you slow it down, you can see the lights flicker and the screen you are using switch off!
I bet this is the electricity going out, and if that happens, Moon will jumpscare you! A lot of HW minigames have a "do this task but also stop this thing from happening so you don't get jumpscared" like the mangle vent repairs, so this makes sense!
NEXT UP WE GOT THE CAROUSEL MINIGAME! Not much to say about this one, since Dawko already uploaded him playing it, but this is significantly higher quality! Moons animation is different, and more things could change from the Dawko version considering the fact that it was only a playtest and wasn't finished yet. I'm very excited to play it!
(I hope they upload the carnival music in better quality if they release the soundtrack for the game. that shit SLAPS)
Ok so this is a weird one. We seem to be training the endo (who has a VR HEADSET on) with a moon-themed memory card game. At first, I thought this would be in the daycare because of the background, but in another clip, we see the camera pan over and we are actually in the daycare-themed room in the endo section all the way back in security breach!
Moon has always had a weird unexplained connection to the endos. Broken endo parts in his room, Moon merch and Daycare structures in the endo basement thing, and even evidence of a scrapped area of the endo section that Moon was supposed to appear in. (There was an unused soundtrack and unused animations, check out the Lost Bits YouTube video on SB for more info)
I'm excited to see if they will explain more as to why these connections are here. Is Vanny using Moon to train the endos to do her bidding? I dunno, but I'll be waiting to find out.
Last image i could find is this. It sure is a sun, dunno if its actually connected to Daycare Attendant Sun or not. The way this shot is framed makes it look like a dark ride?? That, or the player character has the weakest flashlight imaginable.
But if this IS Daycare Attendant related, then it'll most-likely be the intro for the Paper Pals minigame! Still, UNREASONABLY dark if this is a sun-centric minigame, there's no way the dark won't be part of the gameplay mechanic in this.
If anyone recognises this specific structure from anywhere in the pizzaplex please tell me!!
Edit: There's also this weird glitch-transition effect when it cuts to DJ Music Man, what's that about? Reminds me of the BB World Arcade Game a little bit.
Ending thoughts:
So before we get too excited, let's not forget about Help Wanted 1. The minigames were just that, MINIGAMES. They weren't even canon, and depending where this game takes place in the timeline, I don't think these are either.
I mean, these are DCA normal models! Where we left him in the story they were:
In their RUINED models.
And 2. Eclipse! And therefore non-hostile.
And even if this takes place BEFORE Ruin, how on Earth would Moon be at a CAROUSEL? In Help Wanted 1, the game was made-up by Fazbear Entertainment to make light of the rumours going around about Freddys, although they were based on real events, the Glamrocks aren't ACTUALLY in the Sister Location basements. I'm not saying there's NO truth to the minigames, but we shouldn't accept everything they tell us at face value.
BUT that doesn't mean we won't get ANY Daycare Attendant lore crumbs. Firstly, we may possibly get voicelines in the minigames, if they don't decide to just reuse old ones.
Secondly, it's possible this game will have something similar to the Help Wanted 1 Tapes. Secrets outside of the minigames that tell us more about the canon lore! Bonnie, The Glamrocks, DCA, and other loose ends from SB may be mentioned through these secrets!
Thirdly, what I just said may be made more likely if the "we play as Cassies dad" theory is true. If Cassie takes after her dad in having sympathy for the animatronics (which I think she does) then he will probably have something to say about all the stuff Fazbear Entertainment has done to the animatronics. Especially since he WORKS there.
EITHER WAY I AM SO INSANELY EXCITED!! Unfortunately, it comes out on December 14th and I won't be able to play it till Christmas so TAG YOUR SPOILERS EVERYONE!!!
#fnaf#five nights at freddys#fnaf help wanted#fnaf help wanted 2#fnaf hw#fnaf daycare attendant#fnaf security breach#fnaf sb#security breach#fnaf ruin#security breach ruin#fnaf sb ruin#ruin dlc#eclipse ruin#fnaf sun and moon#fnaf sun#fnaf moondrop#fnaf dca#fnaf moon#daycare attendent#fnaf sundrop#moondrop#sundrop#fnaf eclipse
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I'm sorry I need to vent but I don't get having mutuals. I thought it's how people on tumblr/twitter make friends (which seems that's how a lot of them treat it) but I found myself getting mutuals when some blogs I follow follow back. I thought they wanted to be friends since that's how they are with their other mutuals but other than like some of my posts when they started following me, they don't really interact with any of my posts now. We only have one fandom in common and I don't really posts much about that and when I do, they don't even like it or anything. It can't even be cause I reblog other people's stuff about that fandom cause they're following those people, too.
I don't understand why they're following my blog when they don't have a reason to be here? Is it those "follow for follow" things? It just makes me feel, I dunno strange(?), I guess, seeing my follower count and I could count on one hand how many of them still like my posts occasionally and none of those are my mutuals.
I wish there's a way to just remove them from my followers without removing me from their followers cause I still very much like their posts. It'd just be awkward softblocking them and then following again and they'd be notified and maybe they'd wonder why (if they even remember me at this point).
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What the hell, anon?
How you make friends is by talking to people.
I don't even follow back half the people I actually talk to on tumblr because I forget. I never see likes. They're hidden on my activity page because who the fuck cares about likes?
I have people on here who reblog me frequently whom I rarely publicly interact with. You'd think I'm snubbing them. In fact, we're offline friends.
I have people I consider dear internet friends whom I chat with on a weekly or even daily basis in private whom you'll rarely see me talk to here even though this is how we met.
How I can tell if I'm friendly acquaintances with someone is by us talking enough that I remember who they are. I'm really bad at remembering internet handles as discrete individuals if I've never met the person. Once I start to actually remember you, it means something.
How I can tell we're friends is that we've built some emotional intimacy, usually by talking in private, often about our actual lives or, even more tellingly, our philosophies, aspirations, and struggles with making art.
If I can be vulnerable with someone in private in a way I wouldn't be publicly on tumblr, then we're friends. Of course, you never know if it's precisely mutual on the exact same level on a given day, but nothing in life is guaranteed.
Having shared fandoms is irrelevant.
Whether you are mutuals is irrelevant.
Likes are irrelevant.
Reblogs with no commentary are irrelevant.
If you don't meaningfully interact with the person, you are not friends.
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Well about the perception of Volo vs Kamado thing, and why more people don’t hate Volo, I have my own reflections (pretty privilege is absolutely a factor tho let’s be real 😂)
Everyone growing up has at least one story of an adult being super unfair to you, even though you were doing everything right. Their own biases and experiences could be understood later once you were older and calmer reflecting back on the incident, like a teacher who snapped at you maybe had a super long day of wrangling hundreds of children. But we never forget how it feels in that moment to have those who should be guiding us be unfair and seemingly unreasonable. So naturally that’s gonna hurt when you get kamado being paranoid.
Volo on the other hand is just absolutely delightful I’m sorry maybe if Kamado put on a silly outfit and hair for his boss battle instead of plate mail he’d have more art. Like you said Volos betrayal is one and done really, he acts like a theater kid and then dips. You have to keep seeing kamado being in charge in the game after his blunders for a while which can rub people the wrong way. (Also this is maybe just me but I never trusted Volo just like I never trusted Cynthia as a kid, and finding out he was evil was a great moment of vindication I CANT be the only one who experienced this)
TLDR we see unfairness way more than we see someone betray us while making their hair like a god horse
well, you heard them, kamado. time to go get the jester outfit. cmon chop chop it's to redeem your image
yeah, the point abt getting burned by adults in authority is also very fair. most of us were not scarred for life by theater kid antics lol. the other thing abt it is that often those same adults never really face any consequences. you were always just expected to move on, suck it up etc. cause that's life as a kid right. sometimes ppl will use their power over you just to flex their limited authority, or to vent whatever's going on in their home life, and this doesn't really stop when you grow up it's just that when you're a kid basically every adult has that authority position. so it's just expected that there's nothing you can do. i mean unless you decide to be the karmic force of justice in your own life by being the most stubborn bitch of a child to walk the earth. not that i would know anything about that cough
uh anyway. the thing is the thing btwn you and kamado isn't about about child vs adult. you're more or less considered an adult yourself by jubilife, albeit a rather young and more importantly low ranking one. like we've said (a million times already lol) kamado's not doing it just to grasp at a sense of control, he's reacting to what he perceives as a very real threat to his village (and also because the writers clocked him in the face with the idiot ball for plot advancement reasons lbr).
and the thing is kamado DOES, kind of, face consequences and own up to his mistakes by the end of the game. also after the red sky event he's like, REALLY nice to you lol. not just briefly either! imo you can tell that he sincerely respects you and regrets his actions in the red sky. go look at his late game quotes-
"Perhaps you are a divine being yourself, sent to bring us gifts from above...
"I know I've no right to say this... But we are truly fortunate to have been able to count you among the Survey Corps' ranks. If you had not joined us, we would have fallen on Mount Coronet. We would have lost our home. We would have lost our future."
"I'm grateful to you for showing me what a heartening presence Pokémon can be. We must spar again sometime!"
"<player>, forgive me for taking so much of your time [telling you about the Galaxy name.] Please accept this as a sort of apology."
like he's trying to make up for the way they were treated earlier and give them the proper treatment they're owed for all their help.
idk i don't have a good way to conclude this i guess. i just think he's a cool character
#the nemesis speaks#the nemesis answers#trudivination#pla analysis#i should really be tagging these kamado posts#but with what ugh#kamado apologist hours#that's what i tagged a previous one with i think. sure good nuff#i say the idiot ball thing bc like#kamado's PERCEPTION was semi reasonable but his ACTIONS kind of weren't#but it's also kind of unreasonable for such a seemingly competent person to get that straw-graspy that fast#like they purely did his character dirty bc it was the easiest way to get you to follow volo to cogita's house#imo at least. you (general you) may disagree. there's space to make an argument there
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you know I have always been one of the first in lines fighting to defend Tae from that rumor, I'm 100% positive that is mediaplay still but something shifted these days as in yes it was mediaplay but ultimately Tae did choose to take part in that paparazzi walk( albeit he didn't look happy at all I think I have reasons to believe that even if he was somehow coerced he probably was made to feel like he had some negotiation power too) and honestly I guess I felt more adamant to defend him bc i saw how much he tried to fight the tide and separate himself from all of that ( the wv live in the airport, these insta pic changes being the last example etc and seeing ppl disrespecting his agency and his right to state himself his own truth really pissed off me a lot ) but I started to think these last days what's the point in him doing all of that when he agreed to do that walk and he must know what would happen otherwise why did he even agreed, what is he even fighting himself doing little things to separate himself from being associated to this person when he will forever be associated,for the gp and fandom itself and as you said once this will be in the historial of his live forever? By doing all of that it's like he made us, the fans who cared for him and were paying attention to him fr want to defend him too and literally fight air because there is nothing to defend when he did that walk, when the purpose of that walk being met. I'm not saying he did any of that with the purpose of having fans fighting on his name at all, I don't think so but that's what happened, I guess I'm feeling disappointed these days bc i see no need for him to even fight against all of this when this issues reached the levels it did when he chose to do the walk. I'm also disappointed bc i think anything he might do that would have been considered brave and important about his identity before loses weight completely now, him smooching jk's cheek on the party and uploading it, him being bold etc bc no one but a small group of ppl considered delusional by everyone will see this for what it is. He can do a lot now only bc no one it's going to take him/it seriously.
I used to be pissed by Holland behavior that one time but I even kinda can get the frustration now. Tae is safe or at least has reduced the risk at a minimum now to do whatever bc everyone thinks he dates women. And some ppl be crowing him as an LGBT icon when some other idols have actually exposed themselves honestly to a lot more without any security plan to fall back into. And that actually feels like being brave and doing something. Not making everyone who supports you look like a delusional clown and make the thought of you being queer laughable to most ppl. Moonbyul being a pretty good example of someone who has been direct and brave.
Im sorry I really needed to vent, I have loved Tae for a lot of time ( not that i dont love him now but sometimes i cant shake the disappointment and the distaste of not being able to enjoy his content without seeing him being constantly related to ppl I don't like at all) and I'm open to anyone making me feel different about this situation
Hi anon!
Let me give you my perspective on this and maybe that will make you see things differently as well.
Tae is moving within certain boundaries. It is most likely that there are actual clauses in his contract that tell him what he can and cannot share publicly. That goes beyond plain saying that he is queer. That also goes for the level of queerness he can show through art and media. Basically I feel he is able to show queer media and art, but not adress it as such. Going beyond that would probably mean he’d be breaching his contract, which could lead to monetary penalties… and when it goes too far he could be kicked out of BTS (not that I think it would ever go that far). I think it’s possible that with this new contract, things have become more loose though. BH/Hybe doesn’t want to lose Tae, because he is one of the most popular members and losing any member would look bad. So I think there was some leverage there.
In my opinion it should not be underestimated how bad things still are for queer people in SK. Artists loose their careers over it stil. People like Holland are absolutely very brave and I hope within time there will be more and more like him. But you cannot compare one person’s choices with that of another’s. I think Tae possibly discovered his sexuality when he was already under contract with BH.. that would mean he had the choice to either hide, or to break his contract… leave BTS… and be left with a shitload of debt (because you don’t simply leave a contract). He would have no perspective of any career after that.. losing all his dreams and all chances of having any influence at all. It is an impossible choice maybe.. or maybe not.. I don’t know. Has he chosen to leave BH would his life have been easier, better? He would still have had to deal with severe homophobia. So I don’t think Tae had much options but to hide in the first case. It is not something he chose.. it was basically decided for him. Contracts are no fun anon, they basically chain them to the company in many many ways. I don’t think Tae ever had the option to be as open as Holland. And I think that is something he struggled with greatly. So if that walk was something he agreed to just because it would give him some more room to be authentic, I am absolutely not holding that against him. It doesn’t make him bad or whatever, it makes him someone who needs a bit of room to breathe.
In general I don’t feel Tae owes us much. Speaking for myself, I am here completely voluntarily and completely aware of forever being shit on by the rest of fandom. I’m of the opinion that both Tae and Jk aren’t actually fighting to be out and open.. so that probably makes my perspective on this different than yours. I think they’re just trying to live their lives and what we see of them is just stuff we pick up on.. because we pay attention. I always see myself as a bystander and not a participant in this. But.. that’s just me ofcourse.
So how did we end up here; Tae doing a walk with Jennie. Looking at it from a practical side, it was only one walk.. half an hour tops. If we assume he did agree to it and he wasn’t actually forced all the way, for him that was probably doable, and if he traded that for more freedom to be authentic.. to insert more queerness in his work (which is eventually what people will remember him by), then I think the trade probably looked worth it. Ultimately it wasn’t a fair choice ofcourse, because trading anything for freedom to be yourself is insane.. freedom should always be yours. But I do think the company possibly sold it that way.. and being used to having no freedom for years, maybe to Tae it did seem like a chance. It is ofcourse also possible they made him do this, but it’s not something I’m leaning towards personally.
It is not something Tae would’ve done/come up with himself. Tae didn’t go “yeah, I want to do a papwalk with Jennie for fame and attention”… people are right when they say he didn’t need that. He was not enthusiastic. And I think he was very over it all soon after.
The way I see it.. is that possibly Tae gave away a small part of himself to do something he felt is necessary in a broader way. His new mv is so important! To have such graphic display of queerness is so important! Especially from someone as famous as Tae. Imagine all the young queer fans he has seeing that! Tae knows what kind of influence he has. He has probably missed seeing representation like that himself when he was younger. I think this is what matters to him most and personally I just applaud him for that. Taennie will be nothing but a blimp on our radar in a few years, but his songs and mv’s… I think those will have an actual impact on many lives.
#Tae solo#i think i went all over with this#hope i made sense#not even sure if I responded to everything you said
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Secret Invasion and AI Art: The Big Picture
The thing that really makes my head spin about the Secret Invasion intro being AI art... the director wanted it to look fucked up and is clearly ill-informed about the technology in question. I have to admit, it's refreshing not to see the studio saying "It looks normal and fine to us!" There's also some bitter irony in using AI to replace the work of human artists in the development of a show about shapeshifting aliens literally replacing humans in society.
Like many people, Selim says he doesn’t “really understand” how the artificial intelligence works, but was fascinated with the ways in which the AI could translate the sense of foreboding he wanted for the series. “We would talk to them about ideas and themes and words, and then the computer would go off and do something. And then we could change it a little bit by using words, and it would change.”
[source]
Now, I'm not making ANY excuses. Quite the opposite, in fact. My aim is pointing out that putting focus on "it doesn't even look good" detracts from the larger controversy. It was intended to look uncanny, so that's not an effective argument. Don't lose sight of the forest through the trees. There's a much bigger fight on our hands. (Yep, you guessed it, it's capitalism.)
Thanks to end-stage capitalism, we have a labor market in which outsourced work is being outsourced even further because of the insane production time crunches forced by media corporations. Marvel hires Method Studios for VFX, who then contract an undisclosed AI generator that's most likely trained on copyrighted art without the artists' permission. Once again, the problem stems from corporate titans of industry commodifying creativity to the point that almost all modern media (video games, films, streaming TV shows, etc) is attempting to generate maximum profit with minimal time + expense. Disney has been the face of this dilemma for years, with a reputation for overworking and underpaying creative teams in order to release multiple shows and films to maintain a constant flow of content. It's worth noting that Method Studios made a statement claiming no artist jobs were affected as a result of this practice, which is great if true, but means they know it's ethically questionable and chose to do it anyway.
Could they have directed human artists to create an eerie, surrealist, "Skrull cubism"-style intro? Absolutely. The reason they didn't is because it would have cost them more time and money. The problem is systemic. Capitalism has reduced the worth of the arts to their base trade value. The powers that be have created a society that prioritizes convenience over quality and values financial gain more than ethical acceptability.
We should criticize the show for this, but solely attacking the base aesthetic value undermines the extremely concerning precedent this sets for the entertainment industry at large. If you really oppose this practice, cancel your Disney+ membership. They don't care if you watch the show or not, so long as you stay subscribed. Boycotting Secret Invasion alone will achieve nothing and will not hurt their bottom line. USA citizens, consider going one step further by contacting your representatives to demand stronger governance of AI technology. Congress is aware of the issue and we need to push them to act soon. We have got to get organized about this, folks.
The arts are so much more than just content, so don't get swept up in "us vs. the world" attitudes--going online to talk about how bad it looks accomplishes nothing more than venting your frustration. There's a time and place for that but don't use it as a replacement for real, meaningful action. Nitpicky criticisms and refusal to watch the show only scratches the surface.
#ai artists dni!#ai art#anti ai art#stop art theft#secret invasion#mcu#marvel#mcu critical#leftism#anti capitalism#on politics#secret invasion discourse#ai art discourse#vampirepunks discusses ai art
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i wish i had the energy and eloquence to fully and properly get into the family therapist mikey thing tbh it’s so hard to just. explain what i MEAN.
(ftr i am an adult who does regularly touch grass. i understand interpretation and ymmv on characterization. i understand the catharsis of vent art and vent fic and projecting issues onto characters to process them. i don’t read through stuff i’ve found issues with and then seethe about it, i keep scrolling or hit the back button and find something else.
i am still gonna talk about trends i’ve noticed and things that i don’t get or that rub me the wrong way. please don’t come into my posts about my personal thoughts and opinions to, however well-meaning or politely, judge me for expressing them. consider doing what i do and keep scrolling. i won’t engage with that. i would ask that no one else engages with that in replies or comments.
i also legit don’t Get tone indicators just ftr. they elude me.)
bc so much of the draxum moral realignment stuff was mikey being motivated largely by what mikey wanted. he wanted to see barry as family, he wanted barry to become part of the family, he wanted the story of their mutation to be less uh. objectively crummy.
now, mikey’s wants in that area served as a CATALYST for other development, him pursuing that (often very hamfistedly and despite many objections) wound up paving the way, but it was ultimately in the spirit of his personal desire. which ftr im not criticizing that’s very much part of the character.
he brought draxum to the big hidden city day out because it was a Family Event and he personally considered draxum family. splinter and draxum kinda coming to a truce, splinter reconciling that his mutation (despite the horrific trauma and long-lasting impact of it) was still what gave him his sons who he loves more than anything, that was all splinter and draxum. mikey’s action of bringing barry along was a catalyst, he was able to speak to his own feelings about it to splinter when it came up, but he wasn’t sitting there going “tell me how that makes you feel and we’ll talk through it” yknow?
and it’s the same with the dr feelings thing with donnie, which is arguably as close to Playing Therapist as mikey gets on screen. bc that was just a very Extra way of confronting donnie about the shelldon stuff. like. that was mikey inserting himself into the situation so he could give his personal opinion about how donnie was messing up, just with a sweater and a powerpoint. like. an intervention i guess. if donnie hadn’t gotten the picture from the slides he was probably all lined up for a dr delicate touch meeting.
which like, was also not being donnie’s therapist as much as a once again very hamfisted way of addressing something that mikey felt in the right about?
i’m wondering if maybe what i picture when i hear about a child having to play therapist for the family isn’t the same as what modern fandom means by saying it. because i picture like, what steven universe went through. which was practically singlehandedly, as a child, walk a bunch of adults through their own grief and insecurities and shortcomings with unending patience and support, to a point of pushing all his own needs and emotional issues aside.
where steven seemed convinced there were things that he wasn’t allowed to express or outright things he never got to learn to express, mikey is probably the most emotionally open and honest of all the brothers. he feels more outright sheltered.
especially where his big brothers are concerned. the entire episode about his first solo mission he was chafing about being unnecessarily overprotected by raph. there’s a lot tied up in his relationship to raph if we take what the creators said about them growing apart as they’ve grown up into account.
so i guess for me, in my understanding of the trauma of playing therapist at a young age, i can’t really reconcile what canon gives us with the idea of any of the other brothers or splinter (who is notably emotionally disconnected from his sons at series start) genuinely dropping their issues on his lap.
but in that vein, for as much as he’s emotionally open and honest, i’m sure there are also insecurities and issues that mikey doesn’t express. or. that canon for some reason just decided to not dig into in any of the episodes that actually got made.
but ohhhhh that’s a whole separate can of worms.
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2023 Art Purge
Original edition! Ended up having to split the doodles into two parts, I didn’t mean to end up with so many left over but oops - onto the commentary!
Remember crayon Edgar? I drew this one at the same time! Loosely based off Circus Baby but really just more of a general cutesy look - layering with colours is fun :)
Eyes, every year. Two general eyes, and two characters! Bottom left is Souichi, and bottom right is Vivian :) Vivian always gets a spare eye haha
Some concept art for a false backpack I still kinda wanna make - it’d be a prop for a game I made earlier this year, as the prize container! It’s meant to be kind of like a pop-up shop that can fold away fairly small and hold a bunch of small items safely and inconspicuously, though it wouldn’t actually work as a real backpack lol
Some Cherubsona concept art, thinking about their hair and the light rays - I considered having a single asymmetrical hair tuft, I think while I was still on the fence about having asymmetrical wings as well - I’m happy with the final design :)
And some baby angels! Based on my DQIX/AGE headcanons/actual canon lol, took a few tries to get a design I was happy with before settling on the bottom-most one with the fuzzed ears, lolling about haha. Cute!
Also thinking about “Fallen” designs, since my cherubsona is meant to be a fallen angel - or even just biblically accurate angels! Maybe they became more normal-looking after falling haha
More Charm doodles based on the Hungry idea - neither Frankenstein nor Zombies were quite what I was looking for, but they were close! Poor Charm, even if it is a Look
More eyes! Concept sketches of the Yanderapy boys :D Mitsu’s swirls and Ishida’s sleepy ♥ eye expression haha
An alternate panel of Mitsu being shy to admit his love language haha, I wanted his expression to be a little more visible but him hiding in the book is also very cute haha
Little doodle of Ishida singing Daisy Bell! He’s half-crazy all for the love of Mitsu after all
Technically these are from later in the year but I was really hoping to have the set up for a silly concept rolling - Ishida wants to play a game!
The game would allow each of them to take a turn, with the goal of the game to be to sneak a gift into the other’s bag or pocket when he’s not looking. A cute and silly and fun concept to reverse pick-pocket the other and give a little treat! Totally harmless and not at all strange or weird or with any kind of underlying sinister vibes!
The punchline of course was that since they’re both yanderes that it basically turns into stalking each other, which as featured here, Mitsu is very into, who could have guess lol. The double punchline is that they’re both so aware of/obsessed with each other that they notice each other right away, but play along because it’s obvious that they’re both enjoying it haha
It’s yandere enrichment! Ishida would also get a real rush from “hunting” Mitsu, as would Mitsu enjoy being “hunted” - yet more twisted love languages ♥
Random deer :) Actually one of the animals I considered for Dahlia early on but decided to scrap, because I don’t know how to draw deer lol
Also went through a couple scrapped designs for her artist friend, just to make sure I explored all my options thoroughly! I’m glad I did, but I’m happiest with the one I decided on, of course
Brief Dahlia and Tala meeting. They’re unsure of each other! Squirrels and dogs don’t have the best track record admittedly
Bit of vent :( Bar’s always good for it ♥
Bucket! :D Been a bit since I drew anyone from that cast, though I somehow made him on-model by accident lol, and of course he’s still cute! That’s the important part really
Eyesssssssss <3 <3 On the left were some quick comparisons between dot/filled-in eyes and eyes with a differentiated pupil and iris, since I’ve been defaulting to dark eyes a lot lately (it’s the Vargas influence lol); and on the right were a bunch of Cure eyes! I think at least partially studied off of some character creators? Lots of eye styles to choose from, which one suits her the best hmm. She has very sparkly eyes
And another sort-of study off a character creator haha, it’s very cute! Not very Cure, though
One of the early ideas that made me want to dig her out of storage was actually an animation idea that was maybe a liiiiiittle ambitious to go about making without her having a fixed design lol - I’ve always been a fan of magical girl transformations that completely glow-blot out the body and then they explode into frills and bows and fluff at the end haha. I would still like to come back to the idea at some point!
Ended up with a good handful of muscle studies, even after the ones I already posted - a lot of the poses ended up silly haha
And a lot of skull/face/neck studies as well, with mixed success :P
I’ll get it figured out eventually!
Sometimes it’s fun to just doodle around, shapes :) My own original human style feels so constantly in flux with the fanart I like to make and having so many non-human characters haha, probably doesn’t help that I prefer high stylism
A trio! They look kinda familiar, hmmm....
Yet more eyes lol, the first trying to figure shines. You can really see what a lack of editing does to the implied shapes pfft ♪
Always trying to figure out how to dragons! Another one I’ll have to get to Someday. There’s gotta be a trick to them >:0
Out of general studies and tests - hey I thought Just Desserts already had a sona??? And that she was like the most important and best and all that?? I got curious what my sona might be in the JD universe without being the villain haha, and I came up with a Chocolate-Chip Brioche Bun lad! :D I’ve always had something of an affinity for brioche, also somewhat inspired by Edgeworth’s cravat haha. But would Charm still exist and be wreaking havoc, or would this be the alternate universe Charm equivalent?? ‘Cause they’re definitely not “Charm”
Speaking of Charm tho! She’s holding a tooth lol - something something, candy people mining teeth? Because cavities? I dunno lol, but she’s certainly not all that much bigger than a tooth so that’s some fun scale for you :)
And finishing off with some cutesie little chibis :) I made the first as a reference for proportions, and the second to show how my holosona would look in that style haha, what a cute evil computer
#Doodles#Original#Long post#Extreme link-out edition lol#Multiple editions!#Had to be working on this one up to the last minute since y'know - still making even up to the end of the year!#Luckily this one was very well-behaved and didn't break even a little bit :) Very polite! Very appreciated haha#I have to admit I'm a little nervous about the fanart one on that front#But for now! Mostly silly sona stuff and OCs and the like :D Some concept art here and there#I'm gonna try harder in 2024 to have fewer leftovers - I like all of these! I want to show them off in their good timing!#I had fewer mixed salad greens in one post this year :0 That's on me#It's tough when I only end up with a small handful of doodles leftover to any given subject! But it's fine if some sets are smaller haha#I think the eyes will always have a spot in the end-of-year roundups tho haha#As always there'll be more 2023 doodles on the way! More than the previous years actually since I've gotten these roundups done early#Cuts both ways haha - queues still absolutely kill me |P But they do give me a cushion to work on bigger projects!#Just need the focus and energy for them lol#Anyway I'm getting ahead of myself a bit lol - there's still a whole 'nother one of these coming up sheesh lol#And I doubt that one will be as polite XP Even more reason to like this one! Haha#I'll letcha know when 2024 is ''officially'' here art-wise - I can tell you it won't be for a while haha
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Hello, loyal reader of your work here, I've been quiet for too long probably, considering how I eat up your carlando fics, too many thoughts and I'm shy, oops.
You sometimes invite to vent, so here I am, because of the last two chapters mostly. My brain of an artist just couldn't shut up at Carlos. If you like his art and you know he struggles financially, just commission him, commission him, commiss- argh. Commission him like Michelangelo was commissioned to do Sistine Chapel or whatever. And then there's story of my friend, that I can't stop thinking of while reading this, who dated a sex worker, and despite of not that high income as the certain character here, was ready to provide for their partner, so they wouldn't have to sell their body (said partner did not want to give it up though, so they broke up). Like!!! Commission him for stupid high price and you have a good excuse to make his life easier and maybe being able to drop sex work for survival thing! Like I get it, after the whole 'I pay you for the OF stuff' part, paying might feel icky, Lando's pride could make him refuse (he did not have this problem selling his ass to the other guy in ch 1 though and here it's about his supposedly dream work...), but- you already wanted to buy finished painting, so... goddamit, I'm getting too invested and solution oriented, adhd things ig, sorry for yelling 😅
And then there's the racing part, that I'm probably thinking too much about as well. That is for the past chapters, you made Carlos be Ferrari driver anyway, but if it's fanfiction, why not let imagination wander a bit more? Before his team affilation was mentioned and only that he's reigning wdc, I hoped that maybe in this fantasy reality he remained with RB (Merc taking Max in 2015 or 2017, so he was never in RB, CS eventually becoming their main guy after beating DR when it mattered or whatever - there's also this rally driver!Carlos thing that I can't stop thinking about, but that's waaay off topic). Not that it matters, it's just that I can't imagine Ferrari doing things right even in fanfiction, lol. I'm trying not to get too much into how you imagined Carlos getting that concussion with all the HANS, roll hops and halos, because I guess it's my problem being overly attached to details in story that is basically porn with plot and feelings, so bit of drama is a must have, especially considering how amazing your writing for that part is. I hope you don't think I'm taking away anything from where you're going with the story, just some of my own thoughts and your works give me a lot of those, in a positive way.
Okay, I think I vented all I wanted? There are some older fics of yours that I probably should have written similiar wall of text about, but that's it for now 😅
Hi anon! First, thanks for writing out your thoughts - second, happy to touch on some of these:
I totally understand the want for Carlos to commission Lando's work, and I think Carlos actually shares your exact frustration - he has the means to provide for Lando, it would be so easy. But like you said, it's a transaction-based power dynamic that neither of them want in their romantic relationship. He offered by buying the painting, in a way, and Lando's hesitance told him all he needed to know about whether he wanted his financial help.
In regards to Carlos' team, I actually never said he was a Ferrari driver! I didn't name his team at all in this fic – I didn't think it was important to the story, and allows the fic to be kind of timeless in a way.
For the concussion, there are loads of ways to get concussed, from whiplash to flying debris - the Halo's just make it more likely to be just a concussion and not d*ath. As you said, though, i'ts fiction and we love a bit of drama ;)
I try and make things as realistic as possible in my fics, bc glaring plot holes drive me up the wall - so I feel ya. I should have the next chapter posted soon, I hope you're enjoying it!
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Aw dammit, you guys are makin me wanna post this now(10:05) instead of 11:00, but im strong lmao (WARNING, long post ahead)
Anyways, i wanted to start this post off, by giving a thanks to all the truly wonderful people ive met on this platform from this year, last year, when i first joined, and the years to come. Youve all made my experience here wonderful, and to be honest youve made me feel so very very welcomed, and especially loved.
I came to this (wonderful)hellsite during a really lonely time in my life. A few years ago, around the later days of june, 2019, looking for more undertale content. What i didn't expect to find at all, were all the wonderful people im so so so very glad to now call my friends.
All of you, and i mean all, of you invited and welcomed me into your blogs with open arms, kindness, and silly jokes. Even going to the lengths introducing me to your other friends and making me apart of your friend groups. And...i genuinely cannot express how thankful i am for that.
Im so serious, i feel so loved and cared for every single day now, i always have someone to vent or talk with, someone to joke and ramble with, so many people that ive intertwined into this little online family of mine.
Weve all been through..a lot these past three years. What, with covid, loss, hate, and so much more. What im grateful for, is that i havent lost any of you, which not only am i suprised about, but also so grateful. You guys make me feel like the best verison of myself, and make me feel..well..me. we've all stuck together and looked out for each other, helped each other out with our problems, and shared art and stories.
Ive had the pleasure of meeting some very fine, brilliant, and respectable people thus far, and have had the honor of talking with some astonishing young friends. Ive even had the pleasure of gaining followers, and have received fanart of my own characters!! Which, i would have never guess would have happened. Ever. And yet it did, and that means so much to me.
So i suppose what im trying to do, or well..say here, is that all of you have turned my life for the better, and id like to thank you for that.
Thank you, @let-love-run-red @ratsoh-writes @und3rwat3r-a5tr0naut @vrnicky @a-gods-somewhat-mortal-form @icelingbolt @shimmer-lamp and @glaucus22 for being my very first friends in here, for welcoming me so warmly, and sharing your art and introducing me to so many cool people. I wouldn't have had as good as an experienced as ive had with you to have shown me kindness in the way the way you did
Thank you @glitchysquidd for giving me the honor of seeing your artwork, and goofing off with me from time to time.
Thank you @mochamashi @kuvvydraws and @underfell-crystal for being so nice to me, and taking time out of your days to chat and listen to my stupid little jokes
Thank you @luminawithherdaemonlinh @wisteria-and-crocuses and again @mochamashi for all the fanart youve sent me iver the months, and all the kind and craziness youve shown me. Thanks for going on crazy little rants with me wisteria, and a big thank to you lumnia for supporting me and my art for so long
Thank you @shimmer-lamp for being there with me since day one, for letting me vent and trusting me enough to confide in me at times.
Thank you @rainbowut @the1920sisntaphasemom and @scienceisfood for giving me so many ideas and laughter, i really do appreciate you guys and i feel as if i dont say it enough. You guys so are hilarious- seriously, i appreciate it
Thank you so so much @hearty-dose-of-ranch @kioko-noodles @fruitsnackart @skele-fucker @sendryl and @und3rwat3r-a5tr0naut taking me in your friendgroup so fast, and so warmly. Before you guys took me in, all of you inspired me and my art so much...i could hardly believe i was actually talking to you guys and was considered a friend??! My hands were shakey, my breath was wobbly, and yet you guys never thought twice about including me. You all have been there for me since ive met you, you all have (patiently)listened to my stuttering and ramblings without a second thought, youve all introduced me to so many cool things and have made me feel so so loved..i cant possibly thank you enough. Youve done so much for me
Thank you @ratsoh-writes for enduring my chaos and bad jokes. Youve made my dumbass feel incredibly welcomed, not to mention being such a big fuckin inspiration??? Youre one of the reasons i started to get confident in my art man. Ive used your art as references so much- and youve been such a good friend to me as well?? Be angry about me gettin muchy all you want, i love you ya stinky sewer varmit.
Thank you @springbon-t-art for showing me kindess even more since i joined the hellscape that is tumblr. Youve showed me nothing less then gentle smiles and kind words, and i thank you for that. Your art has inspired me for years, and most likely years to come from now. So thank you for inspiring me enough to pick up a pencil and start scribbling down on the floorboards
And a big big thank you to @let-love-run-red love...i dont even know where to begin. You've helped me through so much, you've inspired and taught me so much fuckin stuff...you've been one of the best damn friends i could ever have. You've supported me and my cringe drawings since the day i entered your inbox as that shy little anon on that late August day.
Hell, you're the damn reason i started writing. I still remember the tips you given me, all the advice and confidence. And i sincerely thank you for that. You have shown me nothing other then kindness and hardcore support. And i cannot express how much that means to me
And theres so many more people i have yet to thank but unfortunately cannot due to tag limits and my memory. Id have to make another post and make sure i havent forgotten anyone lmao, but thank you all!! To my close moots and followers, to the big inspirations ive yet to summon up the courage to talk to
I seriously, would have not made it this far without you dorks, and i sincerely, and genuinely, hope ive made an impact at least a fragment of the size you guys have made on me. Thank you all for giving me a place to call home on this little site.
Right now the time is 10:41 as i wrap this up, so im gonna go ahead and post this(probably willl be 11 or 12 by the time you twerps get to this point lmao)
So HAPPY NEW YEARS!!
And happy many years to come!!! I cant wait to see what this years brings us, what bonds strengthen and friends we'll meet. Thank you for the wild ride and for all the adventures to come!!
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(HELPP sorry bro gonna ask this blog instead mb 💀😭)
helloo can u classpect me pls (idk heo to do this 🔥) including a little bit of vent for the sake of classpects
basically i am reclusive, secretive, spacey, knowledgeable but not in an arrogant way, creative, pretty absent minded, and very awkward :]
my main interests include TMNT, MBTI, experimental music, psychology, and marine life. (probably says nothing)
i also like drawing but sometimes i get mad jealous over other ppls art
i also have a strong interest in leftism, anti-racism and anti-capitalism. idk what that says tho
i can get RLY obsessive about my interests and i will NOT shut up about whatever im hyperfixating on
i find it extremely difficult to grasp social cues, in other words i am socially inept
i can have a lot of trouble with empathy usually, not saying i have no empathy tho
no social life. 0. not even one (1) friend. offline or online.
if i had a social group tho i think id be the weird one who is very awkward and does not get jokes 😭
i like to consider both logic and emotions when making a decision, but i tend to value logic and rationality more sometimes
i have a tendency to stay up really late, like really late (it is 5 am as i am writing this
(idk of the text below counts as a vent or not but read idk)
ive always been really bad at explaining, wording, or identifying my own emotions, idk why but its just really hard to come up with words that can accurately describe how i feel, which is why im shit at venting
nvm i think im just bad at wording my own thoughts in general, it makes me feel kind of dumb, im just as bad at that on text too 😭😭 communicating is hell
(vent-ish thing is over)
supernatural stuff is pretty cool too idk
ive been told im dry and very monotonous in person 💀 like a robot n shit
i also dont like being wrong but not in an arrogant know-it-all asshole kinda way ❤
idk what else to put here.
Seer of Void
I'm not picking up any sign that you would *want* to be assigned a void player but I don't tell people what they want to hear.
- dissection -
‘ basically — :] ’ in this paragraph you list off some traits that could easily be associated with void
‘ i can RLY — tho ’ classpects aren't political stances and tho some classes and aspects are described as more devoted or revolutionary it doesn't specifically tilt it towards any view on these things. go girl give us nothing
‘ i find it — jokes ’ you're listing traits of autism, not something that could help me classpect you. However in all technicality "lacking" so many things can be written off as void
‘ i like to consider — on text too ’ okay, Dirk strider moment I guess, if you had only left this paragraph i would have given you prince of heart and left it at that
- dissection over -
why I think you're a seer of void
seers struggle to grasp their aspect at first, how it works and how they could relate to it escapes them, but once they learn it they're comfortable in it. you talk like youre rampaging to find fragments of a personality, sloppily putting paragraphs about yourself together, but if you were to take a step back and relax I think you'd be relieved and find comfort in the nothingness, and along with it the unlimited potential you'll master but.. baby steps
bonus round
i think there would be a destructive heart player and/or a mind player in your session, you seem torn between the two, I don't see this talked about amongst the classpecting population but I do think the aspects of the players in your session would affect you. with all my evidence of that coming from the kids and trolls sessions I mean the bond is just so clear
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Long post incoming idk how to do Read More on mobile, sorry. Tldr: just a post abt my writing as usual and stuff about my interest in lwa (nothing crazy)
I know I talk abt my old fuckin fics all the fuckin time (like Jesus theyre old enough to be considered toddlers now) but anyway this is my vent blog and y’all will never hear the end of it so guess what still has an absolute GRIP over my mind after 3 years
Its forest of arcan- im jk its dreamer of stars lmaooo. I reread it right now for the funsies after months of forgetting abt it, and each time I read it I think “surely I am over this story and can move on with my life” and like the first half of the story its like yea I kinda am over it haha but then the second half just obliterates the thoughts and runs me over and I just lay in my bed and contemplate my life and go into like a State of Emotions and simply have to talk about it (but it also could be because its 4am at the time of writing this)
I do think it mostly has to do with nostalgia though. Truthfully I’m probably not able to write smth like that again because it was 100% written completely on emotion and quite actually everything bad Diana was feeling in the story was smth i was also going through so it was easy to… write a vent and disguise it as a fic LOL. But I was also running on the high of being in love with my best friend which also really easily translated to everything going on in the fic blah blah nobody remembers it but me so this means nothing to anybody and im being cringe and gay on main (not even my main)
ANYWAY the point of my babbling here is that honestly I miss having that intense amt of emotions that would spur that level of creative writing? Like yea forest of arcana (not updated in over a year) is fun and all but it definitely isnt written on a personal level like dreamer was. I also just genuinely miss writing lol and its like ok bitch why dont you write then and then its like good question why dont i?? I probably still enjoy writing more than i do drawing and i know my blogs say otherwise but the two mediums are both definitely different outlets for my life. Maybe i would change my mind the day my art is actually good tho 😛
Im laffing rn seeing me talk abt this “deep” different outlets of life cause like when u think abt it im also literally just Currently describing little witch fanfic and fanart since thats all i do LOL. Not that theres anything wrong with lwa being my Muse of course, but it just adds humor in whatever the emo hell im going on about
Another side sad mini vent but i dont think im as into lwa as i used to be which also waters down my interests in doing things, but im literally not interested in any other media or fandom rn either so lwa stays my hyperfixation. Plz dont be alarmed lol im not saying im NOT into lwa anymore since diana is still a fuckin god to me like 10/10 chara design and vibes, but its definitely not as strong as it was when i first joined the fandom 3 years ago. And you know what maybe it has to do with me not watching little witch academia in full in those entire three years after i first watched it lmao. Most of the friends ive made in the fandom are pretty much gone too which is sad but is what it is. Sometimes i get a burst of seratonin when i think about smth diakko and definitely like now when i reread my fics i also remember the Emotions i had for these Gays and it like floods back for a bit like a buff.
I think something im very interested in for both the spark of writing and also the revitalization for my love for diakko is that i wanna do like a oneshot slice of life series for diakko. Just something easy, cute, subjectively funny, and a vibe. I still fantasize abt diakko shenanigans even if mundane and i wish i could also capture it more in my art but im not at that level yet, so writing it is. First i probably need to rewatch lwa in full since ive forgotten most everything except for key diana scenes haha oopsie And sucy world episode that was a good fuckin episode.
Anyway thanks for reading this far if you did lol sorry for the LONG ASS NONSENSE POST. Sometimes i see how i type in my blog and to people and compare it to my writing and its like where the hell did my comprehensive english go. Sorry if this was just hard to read from the lack of grammar and punctuation but thats showbiz anyway stay tuned for the next diana content ttyl bffl rofl xD zomg
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As I write this, we are 13 hours away from the end of our first funding campaign. I say first because this will most certainly not be the last.
To say that the last two months have been draining would be the understatement of the year. I had no idea what running a funding campaign for a microscopic visual novel would be like, but it still somehow managed to defy my expectations.
So, let's wrap. I want to talk (vent) about the campaign — what are some good things we did, what are some things I'd like to avoid doing in the future? If I can help another small indie developer out with this, then that's the cherry on top.
PART I: THE GOOD THINGS
I want to start by focusing on what we did right. To start, at the time of writing, we raised a total (before IGG's split) of $390. I am so very grateful for every cent, especially when I consider it's $390 less that I have to pull out of my paychecks to make this thing happen.
I think making the campaign flex funding was one of the best decisions I could've made here. In no reality were we going to actually raise $10,000 in our first campaign. So, while we don't have enough to actually make the full game right now, we have enough to get the ball rolling and make *something,* which is a lot better than nothing.
I also must thank the few creators who took the time to make content based on the demo. It was very fun to see other people play. I do wish there were more, but I'll take what I can get right now.
PART II: THE BAD THINGS
I have to admit, because this series is so important to me, I have always had a problem accepting that very few others care about it. So, because I can honestly say we have a fantastic product with brilliant art and a compelling storyline, it hurt knowing that very few others seemed to agree.
In all reality, I know it's less that they disagree and more that they have no idea we exist. This is valid. Where I struggle is knowing how to efficiently let them know we exist without spending my weight in gold in ad revenue, which isn't even guaranteed to work.
All this to say ... we had a total of 17 downloads of the free demo. I would scream to the heavens that we had a free demo, and yet I still had people telling me they had no idea we had a demo. I don't want to think the worst of people but at some point I have to ask if it's my communication skills or their lack of attention span.
I also think we had no business trying to raise $10,000 on our first campaign. I mean, sure — there are some creators who can pull that off, but I have never been one of them. It doesn't make sense that would change now. I should've made the goal closer to $500 or $1000, because then it'd at least look like it was closer to success.
ALSO — the spam. THE SPAM. I never imagined how thick the spam would be; how many people I would have to block on FB to the point where I now second guess myself any time the Chaos Texture page gets a direct message. It could be someone genuinely wondering how we're doing. It's more than likely, however, a spammer.
In any case, if you were to ask me if I would do this again I would laugh and tell you 'no.' It's not worth the mental anguish, the stress and the constant, unending self doubt. I almost burned bridges that I didn't mean to burn during these two months, and it was all because I got in my own head and let doubt persevere. No. I may open up a Patreon for the studio, but ... the next time I'll even consider doing a crowdfunding campaign via KickStarter or IndieGoGo is when we have an established fanbase, and even then I'll be cautious.
In any case, stay tuned for future development updates as they're made.
Sincerely,
James David Herd
Creative Director || Chaos Texture
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some thought processing and venting i guess :C
thinking about how
i wish there was an opposite version of tumblr blaze
where you can tell tumblr that
after this many notes, take it off of people’s dashboards, make it unavailable to reblog and spread
I guess it just seems kind of unsettling if yer posts suddenly takes off and you get sudden load of attention that you haven’t even begun to process through yet
maybe i just have weird remaining bad feelings after all my fe3h fanart took off on twitter and with the attention came a lot of unexpected stress and pressure and just overall getting dragged into stuff/discourse that i never participated in
but maybe it’ll just inherently be different on tumblr
I love being able to enjoy games/shows with other people and share the fanart i make but attention ended up being bad news when it came to fanart
also I’m really sorry if this is like me being so stuck in my own head that it’s just mean towards other people. especially since i can see how like if any of the new ppl who just started following this blog cause of my recent hyperfixation with arknights read this, it might come off as if i am angry towards them specifically
but i think it’s more of like an issue regarding the state of my mental health. my own responsibility with it.
I really appreciate the love and support for the fanart i make, im just trying to figure out how to handle the paranoid feeling that bad stress stuff will follow after.
and also the fear of like
another hyperfixation being broken again.
I never knew that you could like lose a hyperfixation, but with fe3h i learned that oh it is possible
enough stress gets associated with it and no matter how much i love it, it’s hard to interact with it again.
I’m slowly rehabilitating my love for fe3h again, but it’s...slow..and different.
and i guess i just dont want to have to deal with that again with arknights
i just wanna...
enjoy it and like be able to lowkey relax in a community with other ppl who love it, but like not as the center of attention
.__. fe3h was also where i learned about how some ppl consider certain fanartist as “fandom gods” and oh my god. it’s so fucking weird.
individuals aren’t meant to be put on pedestals
no one exist to be yer perfect person who makes yer favorite art
i just wanna be more like part of the crowd where we’re appreciating the presence of one another, but understand that we got our own lives and our own directions we’re headed, that we’re not like meant to just permanently stick together. it’s more like a river and everything always flowing and changing
--
i also have been slowly like processing through like
what hyperfixations are too.
(also disclaimer that i use this word specifically as a neurodivergent term bc i have adhd)
i didn’t really know what to really consider it.
maybe largely bc growing up, i wasn’t allowed my own interests and it was like heavily discouraged + i was physically and emotionally punished for it too. so
it wasn’t until my mid 20′s (like roughly when i was 24-25 ish) that i started to more actively push myself to acknolwedge and pursue my interests, to see them as valid ways to spend my time.
so whenever i do get an active hyperfixation, it means a lot to me. bc it’s so nice to be able to enjoy something that my brain’s willing to soak up so immediately (instead of shutting down bc of information overload)
and the creative part of it where i fill in the blanks or think of my own interpretations etc, it’s so fun and
really fills me with a very specific kind of joy
the joy of being able to enjoy something so carefully made
but also the joy of like knowing how much i am like letting myself just have individualistic thoughts and preferences and ideas, etc
i guess if you made it to the end here,
thanks for reading my brain washing machine going round and round haha :)
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