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is-today-tomorrow-in-nz · 4 months

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Why Nikolai fails as a leader

I made a post about why I cannot accept Alina as a protagonist here. I wanted to continue the trend and do the same with the other members of the Righteous Gang. I will start with Nikolai this time.

This is a long read so, brace yourselves.

Nikolai Lanstov is a character I enjoyed reading very much and he is the only member of the Righteous Gang that I find likeable. He is shown as an inventor, visionary, a lawless pirate and a prince who threw away his cushy life to support his country. LB proposes him as an alternative- the 'good' leader opposed to the 'evil' Darkling. However, as the story progresses, we cannot help but see several parallels between them. Both are clever, have a thirst for power(not for themselves), are patriotic and posses an opportunistic nature.

So what differentiates our 'Good' King from the Dark Lord? The short answer is LB and her plot armour.

In other words, the 'goodness' in Nikolai that is supposed to make him better than the Darkling is never put under trial. Even though, Nikolai as a character has enough traits in him to make him swing easily towards the 'evil side', LB restricts his character to his goodness and devices a plot armour in such way that his morals and ideals are rarely threatened.

Let me point out a few key instances where LB restricts Nikolai's character growth to keep up his clean image:

Nikolai's bid for the throne: Ever since Sturmhond's true identity as Nikolai is revealed, we are shown of his ambition to take over the throne of Ravka. We also see the ground work he had laid since his days as a soldier in the First Army but his plans just stops there. After re-entering Ravka, his only plan is to solely rely on Alina(a fickle person at best) accepting his hand in marriage, kickstarting his campaign for the throne. With the Darkling on the run and the country in shambles, we see no tangible efforts from him even when the situation calls for it He neither strong arms Vasily(or the King) nor does he march in and seize the throne. He does nothing but attend meetings and act as an underling to Vasily. For someone who loves Ravka enough to give up his princehood and live his days as a pirate in the sea, we don't see him doing much to aid the said country when it is in literal chaos.

So how does Nikolai secure the throne?

Answer: The Darkling does it for him.

LB had already established Nikolai as a morally grey character. So why didn't she let Nikolai blackmail his father or brother to position himself in the throne? The country is in shambles and the entire population is looking for a miracle. Marching in with the Sun Summoner, his First Army supporters and seizing the throne is obviously the correct step here and yet we don't see Nikolai doing that or rather LB doesn't let him do that because if she did, then how can she differentiate her hero from the villain?

Nikolai's when faced with the truth about his parents: For once, we are given an excellent opportunity to see how good and righteous Nikolai is. He learns the truth about his dear father, aka the rapist King. He also learns how his mother had been turning a blind eye to his crimes for years. And he, their only remaining son, is placed is in a position to dole out judgement for their crimes.

How does Nikolai punish his family?

Answer: He doesn't.

He shamelessly uses the opportunity to establish himself as the King and sends his parents on a nice, luxury retirement to the colonies. So where did his sense of justice go? How is he the 'good' King when his first instinct is to pardon his kin and not hold them accountable? Isn't that what self-righteous, non-Darklings supposed to do? And the way LB later twists this on the Darkling is laughable. Nikolai literally denies Genya her justice and yet the Darkling is blamed for it. Instead of Nikolai shouldering the responsibility for his actions(by extension his family's), the entire fault is solely placed on the Darkling. What is one more evil deed to his list of crimes, eh Miss LB?

Nikolai on Mal's insubordination. Why does he allow Mal(much later we see it with Zoya too), a literal nobody, to talk and treat him the way he does? He was well within his rights as a prince to demand Mal's blood and yet time and time again he lets Mal walk scot-free? Why? Because he is different? Because he wants Alina to see him in a positive light? To present himself as a better prospect? Because he is a good person at heart that doesn't want to force Alina into something and 'win' her over? So kissing Alina without her consent, in a public event no less, was an act of chivalry?

Answer: Because if he acted, it would make him look as 'bad' as the Darkling. The Darkling would have never accepted insubordination from anyone let alone a nobody tracker from the First Army. He demands respect as any good leader should. Punishment for insubordination is not as 'evil' act as LB perceives it to be. It has been existing since the dawn of time and it exists even in today's modern society. You cannot mouth off figures of authority without consequences. And yet LB cannot have that because Nikolai is not the Darkling. He is different, he is 'good'.

*****

Throughout the trilogy and duology, through several mouth-pieces, LB keeps telling us how much of a good person Nikolai is and yet when presented with an actual moral dilemma, she does not allow him to make a decision that would sully his 'goodness'. So how can we, as readers, call him 'good' when he is never presented with a trolley problem?

LB keeps shooting Nikolai in the knee to keep him from growing. Because if he did, then we would see how he was no different from the Darkling. The 'evilness' of the Darkling stems from the fact that he had to make hard choices since the day he was born. He had taken up an cause that no one before him did and so being 'good' was never an option for him because the only choices he had were preserving his soul or preserving his community. And he chose the latter and this is where Nikolai fails as a leader. Nikolai never had to make a choice of sacrificing a few for the goodness of many. LB swathes him in plot armour after plot armour that by the end of the duology he is almost as virtuous as Virgin Mary.

It's a shame that LB's views of the world are restricted to black and white. Had she understood the nuances of morality, she would not have maimed one of her strong characters.

A good King shows strength, courage and fights for his country. He commands respect from his subordinates and strives to improve the lives of his subjects. A good leader does not hesitate to use any tools at his disposal to get results he needs- diplomacy, violence, threats, warfare etc. A good leader will always puts his people first before his morals and more importantly does not give up his crown to Daenerys Targaryen knock-offs. By making Nikolai's character cling to his cloak of morality, LB makes him look like a people-pleasing child rather than a formidable leader he has the potential to be.

In conclusion, as much as I like Nikolai as a character, I would say Uther Pendragon made a better King to Camelot than Nikolai did to Ravka.

#shadow and bone #grishanalyticritical #grisha critical #grishaverse #nikolai lantsov #anti leigh bardugo #anti shadow and bone #pro aleksander morozova #pro darkling #king of scars #rule of wolves #seige and storm #ruin and rising

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readerinsertsaremyguiltypleasure · 2 years

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An Unexpected Taste of Love: Chapter Five

Pairing: Darkling x Female Reader

Rating: Teen and Up

Summary: You are a servant at the Grand Palace, but when a threat to the Second Army’s General leads to the King assigning him a taster, you are forced into a new role that just may be the starting point for a whole new journey.

Author’s note: I haven’t read the books but there may be a couple of small references to them that I have picked up from other sources (other fics, the grishaverse wiki, etc). Other than that, this fic is solely based on the TV show version of the Darkling.

Warnings: Near death experience, The Darkling is his own warning

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< Chapter Four | Masterlist | Chapter Six >

You weren’t sure what Aleksander had told the King, but whatever it was, it was enough for him to agree to keep you in your current position. You had thought that you would be afraid, and maybe a small part of you was, but you found yourself able to continue your job with relative ease.

Of course it did help that you had noticed Sonja around a lot more. Even when Aleksander had his dinner in the middle of the night, there was always a Healer loitering around the halls. They’d be gone by the time you left, so you were sure that their presence was Aleksander’s doing.

It was almost a week before you caught wind of the inevitable rumours amongst the other servants. Some of them were complimentary, telling the story of how the General had saved you like one would tell a fairy-tale romance, but most were more pitying, naming you as his latest plaything to be discarded once he found someone new.

Both versions were wrong.

You weren’t sure what you were to Aleksander, but it certainly wasn’t anything that could be described as a “plaything”. And there was no fairy-tale romance, no matter how much you wished there was. Even though there was a new tension between the two of you since your poisoning, things hadn’t gone further than a few extra lingering touches. Sometimes you would catch him looking at you the way you often looked at him – a mixture of admiration, desire, and hopeless longing – but neither of you mentioned it. It was like you were both on a precipice, but neither of you wanted to be the first to jump.

So, until the day you were brave enough to make the first move, you carried on and tried to convince yourself that what you had with Aleksander was enough. Every morning you had to convince yourself. When you woke up from dreams of being held in his arms and being loved in his bed.

In short, you were lying to yourself.

At least the rumours abated somewhat eventually; the newest skiff was finally ready, and the palace’s attention was stolen by its upcoming maiden voyage. The Fabrikators had been working tirelessly on it since before you had even moved to the Little Palace, so you understood the anticipation. Apparently, this skiff was the fastest they had made yet – “ultralight”, they called it – and it was expected to significantly increase the chances of a successful journey through the Fold. So much so that Aleksander himself was making the journey to oversee its launch.

When he had first told you about the trip, you assumed you would be expected to go with him, but as all his meals would either be packed or made himself, it turned out that your services would not be needed.

But you wanted to go anyway. You weren’t sure when, but somewhere along the line, his safety had become more than just a job for you, it had become a priority. You knew that poisoning was very unlikely on the road, and that he would have Healers with him anyway, but you couldn’t help the protective instinct.

Plus, the trip would not only give you a chance to spend much more time with Aleksander, but a chance to see more of Ravka, even if it was just from the window of a carriage. And you couldn’t deny that you were curious about the Fold. You had never seen it in person, not even from a distance, and you wanted to see how much truth was in all the horror stories.

‘What about the meals at the army camp?’ you asked, picking at the grapes on Aleksander’s plate. It was the night before he was due to depart, and therefore your last chance to convince him to let you accompany him.

‘The First Army have their own rations,’ he said as he pulled a few clothes from his wardrobe and packed them into a small wooden trunk. ‘And any food the Second Army prepares will be safe, I am sure.’

You hummed, unwilling to admit that he was right and that you had no counterpoint.

Once his trunk was packed, he sat down at the table and popped a grape into his mouth. You had eaten half of them already, but he wasn’t bothered. Him sharing his meal with you had become a habit over the last few weeks.

‘Is there a reason you are trying so hard to change my mind?’ he asked.

‘I am simply being a diligent taster,’ you said as you stole another grape.

Aleksander chuckled and shook his head fondly. ‘I think I know you well enough by now to know there is more to it.’

You bit your lip to hide your pleased smile. He was right; he did know you well.

‘I do care about you being poisoned,’ you said, not wanting him to think you had just been using it as an excuse, ‘but you’re right. There is more.’

You got up and walked across the room, stopping at the bookshelf. You ran your finger along the spine of a book you knew contained nothing but landscape drawings from all over world. ‘I haven’t been out of Os Alta since I got my job at the Grand Palace,’ you explained. ‘Never had the time or the money or the bravery. I guess I just thought I may get a chance to see more of Ravka.’

You heard Aleksander’s footsteps as he stood and joined you at the bookshelf. ‘I’m afraid this is not that chance,’ he said. ‘I may be General, but I still have schedules to follow. There won’t be time for sightseeing.’

‘There is one thing I could see,’ you said, your gaze travelling to an old and tattered book on Grisha history. ‘The Fold is such a big part of all of our lives, and I’ve never seen it. Books don’t tell you everything. Sometimes you need to see something in real life to understand it.’

Aleksander was silent for a moment, and you thought that maybe this meant you had won and he would let you go with him, but then he was walking back across the room away from you. You turned to see him sit on the side of his bed with a weary sigh.

‘Trust me, seeing the Fold in person does not do much for understanding it. Except for perhaps understanding why so many fear it. And travelling with me is no way to see Ravka. It’s dangerous. The drüskelle may fear me, but they will still attack, and there is no certainty that they won’t kill you just because you are not Grisha. Just riding with us would be enough for them. You would just be an extra person to protect.’

While you were a little indignant at that last remark, you understood. You knew your strengths, and fighting off drüskelle wasn’t one of them.

So, reluctantly, you accepted Alexander’s decision with a nod.

The look he gave you was both relieved and apologetic. ‘I’m sorry,’ he said.

You shook your head and walked over to him, close enough to touch, though you resisted the temptation. ‘I’m the one who should be sorry,’ you said, a rush of guilt overcoming you. ‘I shouldn’t have tried to put you in that position.’ You let out a huff a humourless laughter. ‘Saints, I wish this war would just be over already. I wish that the drüskelle didn’t exist and you could take a ride through your own country without having to keep looking over your shoulder.’

It wasn’t fair, you thought. Living under constant threat was hardly living at all.

You hadn’t realised you had started crying until you felt Aleksander wipe a tear from your cheek with his thumb. As always, his touch lingered on your skin, but something felt different this time. You couldn’t explain it, but it felt even more intimate than when he had taken your hand after you had been poisoned.

Perhaps it was the way he was looking at you. Like you were something special and rare.

You weren’t sure what exactly had provoked that reaction from him, but whatever it was, it was enough to break the stalemate you had both been trapped in. You started leaning towards him, but Aleksander was quicker, cupping your cheek and pulling you in so fast you stumbled. You steadied yourself with your hands on his shoulders just in time for your lips meet his.

It was not a gentle kiss, and you had no intention of making it so; you had been wanting this for far too long to take it slow. Aleksander was in agreement, it seemed. It took no time at all for you to feel his tongue at your lips, demanding entrance. You happily gave it, letting out a low moan as the kiss deepened. You were so caught up in the moment that you didn’t even notice Aleksander using his free hand to pull you into his lap, only realising your new position when you broke for air.

‘Aleks,’ you gasped as his lips skirted down your neck and settled just above your collarbone, nipping and sucking the skin there. You had no doubt there would be an impressive mark left for you to cover up in the morning.

Aleksander moved the hand that had been cradling your face down to paw at the many layers of your skirts. It was only a few seconds before he was giving up with a growl of frustration and cupping your face again, this time with both hands. He crashed his lips to yours again, his hands stroking down your jaw, neck and throat – whatever skin he could reach.

‘You’re always touching my skin,’ you said between short kisses. ‘Why is that?’

Aleksander pulled back slightly, eyes focussing on where he was tracing your jaw with his thumb.

‘Because I can.’

There was something in his eyes that told you there was more to it, but you knew that now was not the time to push him on it. So instead, you kissed him again, lifting your hand up to run your fingers through his hair. It was just as soft as you had always imagined it being.

A nip to your bottom lip had you accidentally pulling at the strands in surprise, and Aleksander grunted and shifted his hips beneath you.

That was interesting.

You smiled into the kiss as you gripped his hair and purposefully gave it another light tug. It didn’t get the exact same reaction, but you did notice a new desperation in Aleksander’s movements. His hands went back to your skirts, this time working through the layers with much more determination. Deciding to help him along, you reached down and lifted the hem that was bunched up at your knee. Aleksander got the hint, and soon his hand was sliding up your bare thigh, his arm pushing the fabric up as it went.

‘Saints, I’ve wanted to do this for so long,’ he said, his breath mingling with yours as you rested your foreheads together.

You couldn’t have stopped your giddy smile even if you tried.

‘Me too.’

For a moment, everything was still as you both breathed in each other’s air. But then, just as you were both leaning towards each other again, a knock at the door brought reality crashing back in.

You both froze, your lips mere inches apart, before Aleksander sighed and pulled away. ‘That’ll be Ivan,’ he said. ‘I forgot he wanted to go over the route we are taking to the camp.’

The selfish part of you wanted to tell him to ignore the door and let Ivan think he was out or asleep, but you forced yourself not to listen to it. You had already disregarded the dangers of his journey once that night, you weren’t going to do so a second time.

Reluctantly, you untangled yourself from him and stood up. His grip on your leg tightened for a second before he let you go, reassuring you that he was just as disappointed as you were.

As Aleksander left to go answer the door, you quickly smoothed over your skirts and untied your hair to cover where he had been mouthing at your neck, just in case. Once sure you were presentable, you gathered the empty dish from the table and exited the bedroom.

Ivan did not seem surprised by your appearance, but he did send Aleksander a disapproving look. Luckily for him, Aleksander missed it.

‘I’ll just take this back to the kitchens,’ you said, holding the dish up awkwardly.

Aleksander nodded, eyes apologetic. You gave him a small smile to let him know that you understood and that there were no hard feelings. ‘Goodnight, General,’ you said with a small bow. ‘Ivan.’

It took all your self-control not to turn around as you walked out the room, but you couldn’t help but steal one last glance as you closed the door behind you. Ivan was already pointing to different places on the various maps he had brought with him. Aleksander was nodding along thoughtfully, though you could tell he wasn’t giving Ivan his full attention.

The subtle wink he sent you just before the door closed proved that.

You stood outside the door for a moment, smiling stupidly to yourself. Aleksander had kissed you! You were half convinced you had dreamt the whole thing, but the slight throbbing at your neck and the way your lips still tingled told you that it had been very real. You weren’t sure what it meant for your relationship, but you couldn’t wait to find out.

----

The next time you saw Aleksander, he had returned from the Fold early, the legendary Sun Summoner on the back of his horse.

#darkling x reader #the darkling x reader #the darkling #general kirigan x reader #general kirigan #darkling x female reader #aleksander morozova x reader

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fire-atwill · 3 years

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I'm always lowkey hating on Mal just cause I don't like him that much and I forget that I don't like Alina either. Whenever I reread I'm just iffy about them both.

I don't hate them (I know it seems it cause I try to justify not liking them) I just don't like them cause I don't wanna. They irritate me and I just like Genya, Tolya, Tamar, Zoya, Nikolai etc more.

I think I like secure characters. Main characters always have the 'finding who i am' sub plot while the side characters have the 'i know who i am now i grow from here' which i just prefer.

I have enough emotional instability, I don't need yours too.

#grishaverse #i'm not gonna tag characters #cause if yall are searching for positivity i dont wanna clog that up #cause i hate when people shit on my faves on the tag #like shit on them if you want but im looking for people to adore them with me pls #seriously though they just irritate me #the first book was kinda cliche which bothered me #but it got so much better #im so glad i bought the 1st and 2nd book at the same time #cause otherwise i wouldnt have bothered reading the second one #i love the darkling but not enough to read on solely for him #and i only like him cause he knows what hes doing and secure ideologies make me happu #i disagree with him but i don't know where im going in life and seeing people who have a clue brings me seratonin #hes still a dick though #a hot dick but still

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metvmorqhoses · 3 years

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I understand you like villains, but the Darkling is a manipulative and abusive person who doesn't care about Alina. He only wants to use and enslave her. Even the small nice things he does are manipulation. Their ship isn't healthy. Alina belongs with Mal.

look, the darkling is a thousands of years old ethereal being who almost completely lost any form of attachment to his humanity, being completely lost in the rivers of time and of his own devouring power, with the sole exception of a loosely defined sense of patriotism (which is filtered by altered, almost god-like morals that cannot be understood nor can apply to normal human beings), and his recognition in alina of his only equal mate, his only place of belonging in endless oceans of solitude, recognition that deeply unsettles and enrages him at first (after all she is an oblivious child and he an ancient superhuman), but that he’s too mature and intelligent not to accept and respect in earnest in his own way.

so, saying that he doesn’t care about alina and that he’s only there to play with a naive girl’s head to obtain her power, is nothing but sheer oversimplification and lack of understanding of his character.

of course he constantly manipulates her, he’d manipulate reality itself given the chance, that’s the way he navigates the world, through power, coldness and charisma. i think it’s quite obvious he thinks best being in control of everything important, he is the one having the bigger picture after all, he’s everything he has ever had since remote times, he’s been alone in his godly point of view for thousands of years, it’s only natural he thinks his agenda and opinions superior to those of a bunch of children (the king himself to him is but a child). in his eyes, he is the centuries-old man and she is but a precious little girl in whose hands the very reason of his every battle and hope is being placed by fate. his succeeding in having her power by his side is capital for him, after all his ambition and distance from humanity is endless, and so is his desperation. that’s why he opts for the most effective way to ensure having it (putting the collar on her, being sure to be in control and not subjected to the whims of a teenager). honestly, from his point of view, this is simply mere logic and effectiveness, nothing particularly evil or personal. let’s not forget he was hoping all along she would join him willingly.

yet, leaving aside the political agenda, the very fact that he does take the time to “manipulate” alina, that he cares enough to spend himself, the detached uncaring god, to try his best to be liked by her, to be admired and somehow understood by her, even to confess himself in his own subtle way full of half-truths, is the proof that he does care for the person behind the power he so much craves. there’s literally no pragmatic reason to charm someone you already have de facto captive in your own guarded palace and that you plan to enslave, if you don’t somehow crave her attachment. she fashinates him, she unsettles him. she reminds him of who he used to be. what we perceive as manipulation is his immoral and very wrong way of caring. he probably believes she would never love the real him, he probably thinks she would flee screaming. and, honestly, he wasn’t that wrong after all.

yet he craves and he tries to touch this light from his abyss of darkness, he’s anything but cold indifference. his manipulation probably wants to have many different effects on alina, that don’t necessarily exclude one another. one simple act of manipulation can have the aim to secure her trust in order to claim her power more easily and can at the same time aim to make her simply smile. these two facts can peacefully coexist in such a man’s mind. the first doesn’t make the second less real or important.

asking mal for her favorite flowers and then giving them to her himself can be a way of charming her and can be a way to literally give her her favorite flowers. It’s undoubtedly a petty move, yet very effective and even somehow funny if we shed the very popular woke indignation. it’s something very childish and very human to do. this is not so much political scheming as it is kindergarten rivalry, if we are honest with ourselves. in the darkling’s mind, the end always justifies the means and the evil plan behind giving alina her favorite flowers stealing the information from her sweetheart or reading their letters, is being able to get to her heart in the easiest way possible, disregarding every rule because he thinks himself above them all.

i’m honestly astonished adults don’t seem able to understand that the darkling wanting alina’s power and aiming to be in control of it, having his way in everything, and the darkling loving her are not only compatible truths but also in many ways codependent ones.

and how lame constantly labeling every unusual relationship “unhealthy” as if that would immediately rule out their right to beauty or complexity. especially in fiction, adults should have the right, the agency, to have their disgustingly unhealthy relationships in peace, without moralists constantly trying to diminish what they share because of it. the majority of fascinating things in art and in life are unhealthy. grow up. the women in these relationships are not fragile little flowers, they can deal with abysmality, they can even enjoy it. you are taking their choice and their own complexities away from them.

and really, in this very case don’t even have me started with mal. his love confession at the end of shadow and bone was cringe-worthy. “now i see you, alina”. like literally this boy fucked everyone that moved but alina, who lived for him and who clearly needed help because she was literally rotting away, and yet he didn’t even know she existed until she became important and famous, then proceeding to shame her for it in the little palace, only in the end to confirm his shallowness by saying “now that you are basically a goddess personified i see you”, and she is even supposed to deeply appreciate that? seriously? is this the healthy love you want women to lower their heads to? not to mention the only thing that keeps that love barely lukewarm is alina’s childhood trauma and obsessive attachment to the only person who was with her during those hard times. what a fairy tale.

in short, nothing wrong in having banal points of view, to each their own i suppose, but i’d appreciate if you’d avoid coming in other people’s inboxes acting like the moral artistic police when you clearly even lack the means to do it. thank you.

#shadow and bone #the grisha trilogy #the darkling #darklina #books #anon #one and one thousands stories lis told #villains

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cheekygreenty · 3 years

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I Know You part 2 - The Darkling x Reader

I knowwwww I took my time writing this but I think it deserves another part? Let me know 🥰

Read part 1 here.

You missed the warmth of the Little Palace and you hated that you missed Aleksander's warm embraces even more. As the tracker led you further up north, Alina and Mal reminisced on old memories and ultimately you stopped listening and kept to yourself, leaving you at the mercy of your own thoughts which were solely devoted to your intense betrayal. How could I of been so blind? You loved this man with your whole being and up until a week ago you would've gone to the ends of the earth for him and he had the audacity to lie to you. My Aleksander never existed, he was a figment of my imagination.

'Let's set up camp here.' Mal said putting his pack down with a wince. His shoulder was still badly wounded, your poor patching up did little to soften the pain. You pulled out your provisions and shared them with the others, thinking back as to whether selling the horse was a wise decision for mere hardtack.

'What do you think the General will do once he finds you with me?'' Alina never mentioned Aleksander's name and you guessed it was to avoid being questioned by Mal.

'Probably brand me a traitor and kill me.' You faced the truth head-on 'He was about to lock me away before I escaped and I'm guessing he's even angrier now.' You blurted as you chewed on the flavorless biscuit.

'Why are you here then? You can get away from Ravka, go to Ketterdam and never look back.'

'He'll find me, Alina. I might as well do something meaningful before I die.'

'What if he won't kill you?' Mal spoke up.

'I'd rather he did.' The thought of being Aleksander's prisoner struck a somber note in you and not for the reason they assumed. You didn't trust yourself enough to keep up your broken heart in Aleksander's presence for too long, that kind of love doesn't fade and around him, you were a slave to that emotion.

'We'll find the Stag and I can defeat him Y/N.' Alina sounded hopeful but at her words, you recoiled. Firstly, you knew she would fail, possibly killing Mal in the process but secondly, her statement ignited a brief spark of anger in you, a feeling of protectiveness for the man that was willing to take your life away from you. Stop being foolish. The man has killed countless times and will continue to commit atrocities in the name of power. You're better than that.

The rest of the night carried on as usual, Alina applying a salve to Mal's wound and you sitting against a tree, contemplating your life. Perhaps you should go to Ketterdam. You have connections there that would hopefully prevent you from becoming an indenture, but those connections could be used against you, a way for Aleksander to find you. Perhaps Novyi Zem would work for you. Alina and Mal had spoken about escaping there if she failed to defeat the Darkling, but you knew it was pointless. You had been by his side long enough to know there was truly no way you could hide and survive.

You know the parts of me that I showed you. His words echoed in your head as you tried to settle to sleep. Although you had uncovered his true face, you clung to his words like a lifeline. He showed you his loving side, he told you his name and his complicated relationship with Baghra, his mother. He trusted you with those things and he loved you, so he said. I do love you.

The tears came once again like they did every night. You had quickly come to understand that Alina and Mal were blind to your waterworks and were under the impression you hated Aleksander and wanted him dead as much as they did. If only they knew you fell asleep dreaming of his arms around you, whispering sweet nothings like he always did.

The snow was a thick blanket now as you approached the Fjerdan border. Mal was certain the Stag would be found any day now and with each passing moment spent dredging through the snow, you cursed your decision of coming with them. You haven't been of much use to the pair on the journey anyway, except letting the wind carry the smoke away when the fire was burning or blowing snow out from the trees when you settled for camp, but Alina insisted you were necessary. From Mal's behavior, you gathered he felt uneasy around two Grisha, so maybe Alina wanted you here to know she wasn't alone and her powers weren't strange.

You listening half-heartedly as she explained to Mal she was the one who needed to kill the animal but stopped when you heard a rustling in the distance.

'That way' Mal noticed too

'Hang on'

'What are you doing'

'I need to get closer to it' You blocked them out, your senses wholely devoted to watching the magnificent Stag. Saints, it's even more beautiful than I imagined it.

You saw her reach out and touch its snout, a light dome so bright erupting from their contact you shielded your eyes away. In doing so, you noticed the faint outline of a blue kefta in the trees, quickly heading for you.

'NO' you tried to block the shot but it was too late, the dome fell apart.

'The animal is not meant for you' Zoya bellowed as she fought to secure the stag.

You fought her in return, desperately attempting to knock her and the others off their feet but two strong hands caught you, restricting your movement.

'Take her' You heard his voice before you saw the contrast of his black attire against the snow. You fought against the soldier keeping you trapped, thrashing and kicking with all you could muster, completely ignoring the screams and shouts erupting from Mal and Alina.

He came to face you, eyeing you up and down, as if searching for any injuries. Even in the dark, you noticed the tiredness evident in his eyes with a hint of desperation. But no relief or love directed to you.

'Ivan, subdue her' was the last thing you registered before your eyes closed shut and deep sleep came over you.

***

You woke with a start, having felt no time pass in your dream-lacking slumber. The snow from earlier was replaced by lavish silks and drapes in a warm tent, his tent. You would recognize the eclipse sign from a mile away, especially on the embroidered cushion beneath your head or on the buttons of the coat you were donning. His kefta. He must’ve put it in you while you were passed out.

There were no cuffs around your wrists or restraints around your ankles as you lay in his comfortable cot surrounded by the sound of a crackling fire in the stove that always brought some level of comfort to you.

There was nobody in the tent with you, but you suspected a guard was posted by the entrance flap to ensure you didn't try anything stupid. You hesitated to get up. Will he be waiting for me? You didn't want to face him or fight him. The thoughts of a civil conversation with him withered away the more you reflected on your throbbing feeling of betrayal, but there was still that small voice in the back of your head, or rather your heart, that wanted to forget about everything and just lay with him like you did every night. The conflict caused you to cry yet again that night for exactly the same reasons as before.

You finally got up once the last tears dropped, your light footsteps carrying you over to the small fruit bowl sitting by the lamps. It was rewarding to taste the sweetness of a grape after so much time spent eating hardtack and hard cheese, all Saints willing, you'd never have to look at those things again. You heard the tent flap open and slowly, you turned to face Aleksander.

'You've been crying.' He observed and took off his heavy cape, laying it carelessly on the cot you had just slept in and standing away from you, keeping his distance although his own heart dropped to see you in such a state.

'Do you blame me?' Your voice was strong despite your appearance,

'I hope you are well-rested. The journey here mustn't've been very kind to you.'

'It was better than being your prisoner and rotting away in a cell in the Little Palace.'

'Do you really think so lowly of me Y/N?'

'I don't know what to think Aleksander.' You hugged his huge kefta closer to your body, enjoying being enveloped by his scent. Another thing that brought you comfort.

'I never lied when I said I love you.' His voice grew softer but you willed yourself to ignore it. The small voice told you to run up to him, kiss him, hold him and tell him you loved him too, but the logical part kept you firmly planted in your place.

'If I recall correctly, you said 'I love you but'...'

'You never stuck around to what I wanted to say next.'

'I doubt it would have fixed this.' You gestured to the lengthy space between your bodies and he took it as an opportunity to walk closer to you.

'Is there anything we can do to fix this?' He asked desperately and your heart leaped in your chest but it didn't last long as his hand caught your attention, The Stag.

The realization flooded over you with a jolt of pain for the second time in two weeks. Unable to hold it back, a bone-shattering sob erupted from you at the impending doom he was about to unleash on Ravka.

His eyes followed your own with anguish so obvious it hurt him, but he had to avert them fearing if he watched your pained expression any longer, he would rip out the amplifier himself without a second thought just to stop the heart-breaking sobs shaking your body. He reached out for you but stopped himself, the last thing she needed was his comfort of all people, he thought.

But you yearned for him despite the situation, so when he stepped closer once again, you rested your head on his chest still uncontrollably crying.

‘Why are you doing this’ your hands now held a deathly grip on his shirt, but all he could think about was the fact that you sought his touch out first, maybe there is some hope left.

‘For Ravka, for all Grisha.’ The answer felt automated and scripted but it was all that remained of his goal. There was nothing else, no one else, that would benefit from this except him and her.

He wrapped one arm around you and when you didn’t pull away, his other arm went to your waist, pulling you close and pressing his lips to the top of your head in an attempt to soothe you. Ironically, it had the exact opposite effect as you cried even harder because despite everything he’d done and everything he was about to do, you didn’t want to leave his side.

The conflict was rampant in your head and part of the shed tears were in an effort to calm your mind.

‘I’m going on a skiff journey across to Novokribirsk in a couple days. I wish for you to go back to the Little Palace.’ He spoke but didn’t loosen his comforting hold on you.

‘Why?’ You managed to croak out.

‘You want to come with me?’

‘I don’t know’

‘Let’s sleep. You’ve had a long day.’ He only briefly let you go to take off the kefta he placed on you earlier, but he was right back at your side as you settled against his chest on the cot. Although you had only just woken up from Ivan's induced sleep, your mind was tired from the self-hate your logical side spewed at you.

‘This is wrong. They’ll hate me for this.’ I hate myself for this.

‘If it is so wrong then tell me to go away. I’ll listen.’ You knew he would but you wanted him here with you.

‘Were you ever going to tell me?’

‘Yes. But I stopped myself after seeing how happy you were. I couldn’t bring myself to stop that.’

‘And look where it brought us. Look at me now.’ You raised your head from his chest and looked him in his onyx eyes. They radiated affection and forgiveness, both of which you were ready to give him. I’m a fool for this.

‘And I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you happy Y/N.’ The determination in his voice pulled at your heart, for the next thing you knew your lips were on his, kissing him as if there was no tomorrow.

-----

Taglist (tell me if you want to be added !!)

@aleksanderwh0r3 @theonelittleone @searching-for-gallifrey @lostysworld @0-artemis @exo-1204 @staradorned @bookfrog242 @simp-for-ben-barners @keepdaydreamingbb @acciorudolphx @pansysgirlfriend @pansysgirlfriend @justmesadgirl @theriveroftruth

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shirewalker · 3 years

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ok hi veronica i need to ask you cause you’re the grishaverse tumblr on my dash but why do you ship nikolina? also why do people ship darklina and what’s the most popular ship in the shadow and bone (not including six of crows)? why nikolai and not darkling? i’m thinking of reading the books before the show cause i searched it up and it seem confusing without watching.

hello there, anon!

ok ok we got here a complex ask haha.

let’s do this by separate questions! (also, please be aware that everything I’ll say will be spoilery on some level, including the links I send, I don’t know how much you know of the story, the ending, etc, so yeah ^^)

gosh, I’ve shipped them for so long it now feels like a natural thing xD

but I guess the TL;DR could be: because he saw her as a whole person and treated her with the respect she deserved. whether he started out wanting just a political match or not, the thing is, nikolai always treated alina as... well. alina. not just as a weak childhood friend, not just as a powerful grisha.

when interacting with him, alina was herself. she was snarky, she was clever, she was grumpy, she joked, she made her own decisions. being the sun summoner was part of being herself but it wasn’t the sole thing that ruled their interactions.

I love their banter and the way they can talk to each other so easily without either having to give in or keep parts of themselves secret. and well, they had two of the most romantic scenes in the trilogy so xD

ultimately I love the trope of royal x non-royal and how they could have easily gotten a slow burn romance with a marriage alliance for political sakes but slowly grew closer. you know, a slow burn aksldjalsjkd

linking a few posts (from me and others I agree with; they’re older so they also feel fresh on fandom feels and some salty opinions too haha xD) for further reading: one, two, three, four, five, six

Most folks I know that ship alarkling (sorry, I cannot take serioulsy the other name, throws me back to 90s anime villains aslkdjalsd), ship it for similar reasons as I do: their dynamics, light and dark, hero and villain. they had really great scenes throughout the whole grisha trilogy, and they had an intriguing bond. more than that, you’d have to ask others, anon. I can only tell you what drew me in. These days I’m mostly nikolina, but in early tgt days I loved alarkling a lot and I still do love them, I just grew distant from them/the fandom for various reasons I’d rather not disclose.

I honestly don’t know anymore what’s the most popular ship in the grisha trilogy fandom anon xD I don’t really interact with the general fandom xD But it was always alarkling or nikolina. if you go deep enough in the tgtedit tag, etc, you’ll start to see that.

ok now your last question... I think it’s ultimately a matter of preference, of tropes you enjoy the most in your ships. Some people will give you x reasons why they prefer the darkling, others why they prefer nikolai, etc etc. Personally, I always leaned more towards nikolai, because for me, alarkling would only work once the darkling did some inner work. dude’s ancient, he’s got a lot to atone for and to deal with and also gotta learn how to be a person again xD and nikolai... well, like I said, he was the one who cared for alina as a whole. whether she had magic or not, it didn’t matter for him at the end of the day.

and regarding your plan to read the books before watching, I had already mentioned this in a pre-post but I’m not sure if you saw it so I’ll say it again ^^, I agree! I usually prefer to read a thing before watching the adaptation, even if it takes me time to watch the thing. I usually end up having a much better experience enjoying both mediums than if I did it the other way.

anyway!! this ask has gotten LONG so I hope it was worth the wait dear anon! and I hope I made enough sense with my rambling alskdjaklsd

thanks for sending this! <3

#Anonymous #Questions #nikolina #grisha #apologies for any typos etc #this got long so alskdjasd #feel free to ask me more if you have more questions!

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beccas-books · 3 years

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Rule of Wolves

Things I liked:

- I loved that we got to see all of our characters from the entire Grishaverse in this book. It was amazing to see that these characters are still in each others lives. And I just liked that we got to check up on everyone. I’ve been very worried about my Crow children so it was great to see that they were doing great! Alina, Mal, Misha, and Oncat are all doing great, which I love to see!

- The representation that Bardugo is putting into her books is amazing. The plethora of races, cultures, and sexualities is something that I really love. The inclusion of a transgender character in this story was flawless. She didn’t rub it in your face, and it was not the sole characteristic of Hanne (Im not sure what their new name is yet so I’ll just refer to them as Hanne for now). They were a person who had depth and you could really feel they struggle to find themselves. So when they did it was amazing. And I love that Bardugo just casually made Nina pansexual. Like Nina LOVES Hanne no matter what they look like or who they are. She just loves them for them, and I think it was great.

- Y’all know Im a sucker for happy ending, so the fact that Nikolai and Zoya get to be together was everything to me! They got a happy ending, Nina got a happy ending. Im loving all the love, and it makes me very happy.

- Zoya is my new favorite person in the world. if anyone tries to hurt my beautiful Dragon Queen I will fight you. I’m so happy that Bardugo chose her to be the character that she would focus on to make a better person. I know she was kind of rude in the Shadow and Bone series but I love her now. I can't wait to see what she has in store for herself and the rest of her friends.

Things I didn't like:

- This book did the thing that I hate in books. It killed a character that did not need to die! David didn't need to die. Im not gonna lie, I cried a lot when this happened. Real tears falling from my eyes in despair. His death, in my opinion, did nothing for the story. The story could have gone on with just the bombing. The bombing was enough cause for action in my opinion.

- I don't care what other people think about the Darkling, but I don't think he deserves redemption. I don't like that the story was left off as if they were going to “save” him from living in pain for the rest of eternity. I think he deserves it, and I don't want them to get him out. I know they are just gonna kill him instead, but he was the WORST.

Overall:

- Overall I think the book was a little slow in the beginning. But I think that can be said about a lot of Bardugos novels. She likes to build a lot before she gets to the juicy parts. I wish there wasn't so much build up, but when you get to the good parts you really get through them fast, I stand by my points about David and the Darkling. I think those story lines were really not needed. David didn’t need to die and the Darkling deserves to rot. Other then that it was a great book. As usual the cast of characters have a rainbow of differences that make the unique. They are all special and represent a different kind of human is a great way. Bardugo does an amazing job of including people from all walks of life and I love it. I will totally be reading whatever she adds to this universe next. I love these characters and can't wait to see where she takes them.

- Rating: 4.5/5

#rule of wolves #leigh bardugo #nikolai lantsov #king of scars duology #zoya nazyalensky #toyla kir-bataar #tamar kir bataar #genya safin #david kostyk #nina zenik #hanne brum #book review #book recap #book opinions

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sanktagenyas · 3 years

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ok so i finally watched those last three episodes. i said buckle up it’s time to suffer and by the saints did i ever suffer. i just knew the darklina scenes were gonna be rough to watch. it was already rough reading the scenes as they were written in book one. i mean the darkling just shines with his intelligence in that chapter, doesn’t he? threaten the man she loves? well the other man she loves? check! tell her she betrayed you when the reality is you’ve been telling half truths all along and didn’t trust her to make her choices? check!

buddy this isn’t how you apologize. in the show itself it’s pretty much the same back and forth that leads nowhere. you lied to me! you ran off because my mother told you i’m not who i say i am without giving me a chance to explain! you’ve been lying or bending the truth since we met! YOU TURNED YOUR BACK ON YOUR COUNTRY!

by that point i was just like chill the fuck out man you’re about to decimate many many countrymen and you know it. i loved that the stop they made was all about him getting revenge on the man who attempted on alina’s life, that was very unhinged of him and i was HERE for that shit but everyone else in that port? every other woman and child and man on that port? not all of them played a hand and he just went ahead and had them slaughtered without batting an eye. and it’s not like he has some kind of safeguard for grishas does he? how does he know there’s no grisha wherever he’s expanding the fold? some could be in hiding because they fled, because they didn’t want to serve the king. oh well he doesn’t really care about those people does he? we all saw how he spoke about those deserters to arken.

also he could NOT handle alina’s harsh truths about how his own actions are harming grisha close to him even though he claims that every choice he’s made was to protect them and empower them. when she brought up genya i was like yes you better look down you motherfucker! you did this to her, you delivered to her abuser over and over.

we saw his backstory, some of it and he acted out of grief and rage. he toyed with magic he did not understand and of course he didn’t intend this but his reaction to the fold once it was all said and done was definitely foreshadowing what he was to become. i created something he said defiantly. you created something you don’t have control over. and now he’s done it again somehow, he’s got brand new creatures following him at the end.

i actually felt for young aleksander for losing the woman he loved but the arrogance and the recklessness he showed there is still the same arrogance he has now. he thinks he has thought his plan through but that’s just working off the assumption that no one opposes him ever otherwise he went ahead and put a target on grisha’s backs. he definitely put a target on alina’s back although i know that was never the plan. the fact that when he has a perfectly good remedy to the fold, a chance to actually fix his mistakes once and for all he turns its back and decides to make it ten times worse, chooses ruling via fear over hope is jusr a sign of how far he’s gone. and he didn’t waver once not even when alina was pleading with him that he could have made her his equal, that they could have stayed together and made ravka safe together if only he gave her a choice, he was still manipulative and lied to her face.

at this point i just don’t think his love for her outweighs his belief that he knows what’s best for ravka, what’s the best way to protect grisha. because he doesn’t care about anyone who isn’t grisha at all. he was persecuted like so many others. he won a war for a king centuries and that king turned on him. i’m sure he’s looking at the current one knowing that once grisha have exhausted their uses that king will turn on him too. the fold is just a different kind of war and if he wins that one for the king the darkling already knows what the outcome will be.

so to summarize this whole darkling commentary here i understand where he is coming from, i understand the fear and the rage and the desperation. it’s not working out for him though. he’s feared but he’s alone. for every ivan there’s a zoya. for every man who’s blindly loyal to him there’ll be someone rising up to oppose him eventually. and if it’s not his own people it’ll be non grisha folks. he has the second army working for him still, but he is alone. and that’s no one’s fault but his own because alina was willing to work with him.

speaking of alina i loved every second of her rising up to oppose him telling him she never needed him. she may have fallen in love with him but she never actually needed him to be powerful, she only needed to free herself of the restraints she’d put on her powers out of fear. i also thought that the way she freed herself of his control made more sense than it did in the books.

i have hope for darklina still despite all that’s happened despite how positively full of rage ans resentment she is because she still loves him, she still listened when he pleaded with her that they needed each other if they wanted to deal with the fold. of course there’s the slight issue of him lying directly and manipulating her to do his bidding and of course the fact that he took her power from her. the only thing that was her and he perverted it for his own gain. i think it just might take more than a year for her to forgive him i’m afraid. i don’t necessarily see a path to redemption right now but reconciliation? alina can be merciful, she can be forgiving. i think all it would really take is just one selfless act, one show of good faith. if he keeps pursuing her and mal and keep trying to rob her of her agency however i don’t see them ever having any kind of closure.

i don’t think i need to expand much more on my thoughts on malina. i’m not feeling what the show wants me to feel. i’m not seeing them as these soulmates that belong together. to me they’d be better of as best friends. the darkling didn’t make her strong he tried to steal her strength for his own use but mal doesn’t make her strong either, she relies too much on him. mal actually was pretty damn resourceful when left on his own. i unfortunately couldn’t say the same for alina. co-dependant love is not better than toxic love and darklina’s toxicity (most of it) comes from the lies and from the darkling repeatedly choosing for alina. he’s not brave enough to just tell her what he intends to do and let her decide whether to align herself with him so he lies and he deceives instead. not much he can do to undo it now but he could help actually destroy the fold if he wanted to. i don’t know if he’ll ever come around to it though.

the darkling visiting mal with the sole purpose to rub it in his face that alina and he are immortal and so eventually mal will die and then he could just swoop in was just peak comedy. the way he delivered that line too you’d think he was talking to an insect not another human being. it was brilliant. mal echoing that same line but ending it with “the past will do it for me” was pretty good, nice quip i’ll give mal that but also terribly ironic when you see the ending.

team crows remains the highlight for me. kaz and inej and their unspoken love for each other is just killing me. i can tell there are personal traumas there that i don’t know about (gotta read those damn books and quick) what with kaz not being able to help tend to her wounds and the fact that there were moments were i could see there was maybe a kiss about to happen or an embrace (at the end when kaz let alina go free and made a deal not to rat her out) and it just didn’t happen. there’s a story there about kaz and his distaste for being touched/touching others. jesper is just here to look pretty, shoot shit and be the most charming person in any crowd. i’m in love. also someone give him his goat back for the love of god.

nina and mathias were entertaining for sure. with all that banter and all these jabs i should have really seen them falling for one another coming. i felt like it was perhaps a bit rushed but i guess there’s nothing like almost freezing to death together to make you reconsider your views. you know the whole saving of lives thing can really bond you. the waffle date was adorable. was not expecting nina to just brand herself a traitor for him and she’s damn lucky fyedor came on that mission because i’m pretty sure ivan wouldn’t even have offered to keep her name out of the report. she and mathias ended their story both heartbroken and separated. i really hate that he thinks this was all intentional. really hope she’ll join the crows on their next con job. and i also cannot wait to see the look on heleen’s face when kaz buys inej’s freedom.

i was not at all expecting zoya to turn against the darkling. that’s what happens when you turned down one of your fuck buddies, aleksander they get bitter and then they leave you to be eaten alive by volcras. ok but in all seriousness she did the right thing and i hope she finds her family even if they’re not alive so she can say her goodbyes.

oh and completely unrelated but since i talked about heights of comedy before i really need more sassy! darkling in my life. he is everything. that quip about his speech. the way he said adorable like he was gagging on the word. him just letting david be his dorkiest self and raise his hand before speaking, that little put upon sigh. i love sassy! darkling almost as much as jealous and petty darkling which is saying a lot. just more of that. it humanizes him, i’m tired of villains who are forever stoic and stone face.

i think i about covered everyone and everything that happened in those remaining episodes. all in all shadow and bone is an amazing adaptation, really faithful to the first book. they made some changes to the characters which in turn changed some dynamics (alina actually admitted she wanted to be with the darkling. out loud. to his face. book!alina would never and book!darkling would never cry in front of her.) but it made for surprising viewing. it also made me become even more attached to some characters (the darkling let’s be real) which made me care more which is why i was livid when they started making a lot of terrible no good choices.

i was just really blown away by this show and the way the grishaverse was brought to life and above all major props to the actors who all just seemed to be born to play their respective roles.

#shadow and bone spoilers #sab spoilers #darklina #alina starkov #aleksander morozova #inej ghafa #nina zenik #mathias helvar #jesper fahey #kaz brekker #zoya nazyalensky

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serpentsapple · 3 years

Text

(This post includes major spoilers for The Grisha Trilogy.)

[kittyinhighheels: Why does this remind me so much of Alina and Mal? Him never really seeing her for who she is, her giving up her power for love because Gods forbid she is meant for greatness and not pregnancy]

@kittyinhighheels

Indeed, this is very similar to Alina’s journey... in fact, we spoke of her case in another post! You can clearly pinpoint a pattern affecting heroines: the narration will declare them powerful, cunning or intelligent, often without demonstrating these traits; and should they display even a shadow of these characteristics, they will be mercilessly condemned for it. Their clever plans will fail, their backings will vanish, their powers will be stripped from them... and, to add insult to injury, they will find themselves satisfied with this newfound state, for, ah! how terrible was it to become a manipulative, a fearsome woman! how dreadful to prove ambitious! surely a calm, a peaceful existence should be enough to sustain them.

Despite reading only a handful of young adult series, I stumbled upon this pattern quite often... in The Grisha Trilogy, yes, but I recall a similar situation with Kestrel in The Winner’s Trilogy, and I would extend it even to Jude in The Folk of the Air. Frustratingly, such criticism will be dismissed as evidence of the authors’ mediocrity: isn’t it common for heroes to be overpraised for qualities they never exhibit on page? isn’t it usual across every genre and for every audience? isn’t it reaching to say that of heroines, isn’t it disdainful of women who would embrace the life of happy housewives?

True - it may be, at times, difficult to untangle what comes from an unskilled hand and what stems from sexism. Yet looking at it objectively... not only do fictional men not have to overcome these ordeals as often, as severely, but furthermore any hurdle, any setback meaningfully serves their arcs. It highlights an aspect of their personality, allows them to reflect on their flaws, their mistakes, their traumas, or it pushes them further down a wrongful path of their own making. Either way, their character and struggles are compellingly portrayed. Girls and women... they’re only punished.

Bardugo showed us this clearly with Alina. In what way, exactly, did Alina harbour excessive ambition, excessive greed? In what way that would surpass the Darkling’s aspirations, or Nikolai’s? In what way that would turn this loss of power into a meaningful twist? Same reasoning, applied to the others: Genya, a lovely woman at the mercy of a lecherous king, sees this prized beauty ruined, her defining characteristic destroyed. Did it stem from her own errors, her own choices, did her character profit from it? Or was it only shocking, only fitting, for beauty is women’s universal quality? Then: Baghra attempts to raise her son differently from her own upbringing, yet hardens his heart enough her opinions no longer sway his actions. Did that answer everything? Did her sole decisions bring him, an adult man centuries old, to this point? Did her death close her journey conclusively? Or was it all a woman, a mother could do, dying for her son and his arc?

(In comparison the men, such as the Darkling or Nikolai, even Mal for a while, suffer fates much more tailored to their personalities, strengths and weaknesses included.)

Times and times again, these women are brought down... yet never for their own characters’ sake. It makes an example of them - ah, shallow, vain women valuing beauty! ah, mothers failing their own children! ah, ambitious, daring girls! - or it shrinks them, squeezes the interest, the particularities out of them, until they’re dull an docile enough to be paired up with men. Alina’s ending is, I would argue, not her dream... but Mal’s, finally getting the normal girl he wanted.

At this point, I feel like I’m depressingly going in circles... for in what way did Alina truly have a choice, even in her romantic affairs? Would she end up with this young man, or this oher young man, or this other man? Who would it be? Never: would it even be? Why would it be? Did any of them see her, see her truly beyond their own schemes and ideals...? It is just as you said... gods forbid she would be meant for anything else than romance and pregnancy.

(How lucky, perhaps, that she lived in a YA setting and not an adult one like Nesta, so that the sexual abuse and other fun details were very toned down... the girls in Bardugo’s adult books aren’t as fortunate.)

#reply #our posts #mod V #The Grisha Trilogy

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degenderates · 3 years

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zoya for the ask game

oop sorry it took me a min to answer this! here we go, i love zoya sm<3

1: sexuality headcanon

zoya is so bi (are we sensing a trend here). i do feel like she leans more wlw though!

2: otp

i know i’m supposed to say zoyalai, but it’s really zoyalina, oops--

3: brotp

hmm idk...i really love platonic zoyalina for a brotp! & platonic zoyalai too.

4: notp

zoya x aleksander

5: first headcanon that pops into my head

zoya feels kinda bad that harshaw keeps pining after her in r&r, and she is the one who adopts oncat once he dies. harshaw was a little himbo, and though zoya didn’t like him in a romantic way, she still is one of the people who remembers him most. eventually, zoya had to pass off oncat to alina at the orphanage once she got too involved in nikolai’s business and politics, but she still visits alina all the time for the sole purpose of seeing both her cat and her girlfriend. anyways i need some zoyalina w/ oncat fanart now plz<3

6: favorite line from this character

i really love the “you are strong enough to survive the fall” quote, it hits me in the feels every time! i haven’t read KoS since it came out though, and I can’t remember if zoya said that or if it was said to her by one of the Saints or something? Either way, it fucking slaps!!

7: one way in which I relate to this character

i, too, am jealous of alina for getting the darkling’s attention. i, too, want to get with alina as well. no but seriously, it’s not so much i relate to her as she just embodies the person i wish i was: strong, assertive, witty, beautiful, badass...she’s an all-around great person and character with still some great flaws.

8: thing that gives me secondhand embarrassment about this character

the way she is so jealous of alina and the way they’re pitted against each other in general in the og trilogy is just...cringe. so glad leigh stopped doing that!

9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

60% cinnamon roll, 40% problematic fave. it really depends on if you’re looking at the grisha trilogy or kos, i suppose!

thanks for the ask mikayla!!<3

(send me character asks!!)

#mikayla tag #zoya nazyalensky #yk for the longest time i could not spell her surname #zoyalina #oncat #harshaw #grishaverse #my meta #grishaverse meta #ask game #violetsbaudelaire #letters

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laufire · 3 years

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Bellamy/Clarke, Alina/The Darkling, Jesper/Wylan

Bellamy/Clarke

Well, it's hard to say with this one, but for one, it would've helped if it was an actual romance lmfao. The writers clearly didn't see it as such and never did I.

As it is, even then I wouldn't have liked without changes in the dynamic and paired with a different cast, likely. I really dislike Clarke and her attitude towards other people, especially at the beginning. Going by similar leads... maybe if Bellamy and Clarke would've been more like Stefan and Elena? Elena is a lot like Clarke and my Caroline-stanning prevented me from shipping it, but I was still affected by it. So, I guess, if Bellamy and Clarke had been more similar in that way AND a lead couple, on more equal footing instead of with how Clarke treated him, I might've been more interested?

But then again, you'd have to remove other members of the cast, because my investment on them would've prevented me from liking it if I thought the ship hurt their narrative. Octavia, Raven, others like Echo or Memori in the future...

Basically, it would have to go through a radical change.

Alina/The Darkling

IDEK. Better writing, for one. A different ~energy between the actors (which bothers me, because I think they can do a good job otherwise. But together I just wasn't feeling it).

But frankly, if his sole narrative presence could be enough to stop Alina from losing her powers, I would've been far more endeared towards this dynamic, even if it'd likely be in a "but PLS DON'T BE ENDGAME" way lmao.

In addition, it would help if he wasn't going around being called "The Darkling". What is that xDD

Jesper/Wylan

Well, I haven't read the books and I know next to nothing about Wylan. But at the moment, I'd say the ingredients this ship needs for me to get behind it are:

1.) CHANGE THEIR "FIRST" KISS FFS. I've been told what happens in the books and I freaking hate it. This is not how you treat a romance you respect and love to write. Bardugo would've NEVER done this with Kanej or Alina's pairings, IMO.

2.) Have Jesper being OTT into Wylan. No reactive romance shit pls.

2.a) (because 2 depends a little on this) as long as Wylan isn't completely insufferable. That would put a dampen on things xD

3.) Cast an eye-catching, fairly charismatic actor. He doesn't have to be classically handsome (it's not like I'm into dudes, even if I'd rather enjoy the aesthetics), but the worst thing he could be is bland. And actually, speaking of The 100, my first though rn was "idc if he doesn't fit looks-wise, is Richard Harmon free?". I bet he could make me ship it xDD. Now I'm bound to be disappointed with the actual casting smh.

Send me two characters, and I’ll tell you what the show/movie/book could have done to get me to ship them

#nectargrapes #replies #talking to the void #my thoughts #t100 thoughts #sab thoughts #shadow and bone #the 100 #antibellarke for ts #antidarklina for ts #wesper

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readerinsertsaremyguiltypleasure · 2 years

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An Unexpected Taste of Love: Chapter Two

Pairing: Darkling x Female Reader

Rating: Teen and Up

Warnings: Near death experience, The Darkling is his own warning

———————————————————

< Chapter One | Masterlist | Chapter Three >

The party went on long into the night, but it at least went by smoothly. There were no more mishaps or altercations, and for the most part, you were left watching the guests enjoy themselves. You were a little jealous that you couldn’t join in, but even without your commoner status, you knew it was impossible. You didn’t know any of these people and would be an outsider in more ways than one… but seeing everyone celebrate the love of two of their own, it made you yearn for something similar. Having a social life as a servant was complicated, and most parties were held in secret in small quarters away from the judgemental eyes of royals who thought you did not deserve such festivities.

It was almost midnight when the General retired, meaning you were finally free to return to your room. Mina was kind enough to show you back there, the palace looking much different in the dark, and you tucked yourself into your bed just as the clock struck twelve.

You didn’t go to sleep, though. This was your favourite time of night – the only time you ever got to yourself – and you rarely wasted it on sleep. Instead, you spent the next hour reading your favourite book until your eyes were drooping too much to keep them open.

Your last thought before you succumbed to sleep was of the General’s amused smirk and wondering what the next day would bring.

----

The next day ended up coming a lot sooner than expected; the sun was not even up when you were being summoned to test the General’s breakfast. You were so tired that you barely even managed a polite bow before unceremoniously stabbing your fork into his food. You would probably be embarrassed later, but Early Morning You didn’t care too much about your behaviour.

Your barely half-awake state also meant that you missed the amusement in the General’s eyes and the way his lips twitched from trying not to smile, just as you missed the chuckle in his voice as he dismissed you, telling you to go back to bed.

Two hours later, when you woke up again and were feeling a little more like yourself, you were indeed embarrassed. So, in an effort to distract yourself, you decided to explore the Little Palace while you waited for your next summoning. Mina had told you that while most of the palace was out of bounds for servants unless on duty, there were a few areas you were allowed access to, including the library and the entirety of the palace grounds so long as you didn’t go too far to find if you were needed. It was more freedom than had been granted to you at the Grand Palace, and you were eager to make use of it while you could.

You started with a quick stroll around the outside of the palace, briefly stopping to watch the Grisha train from a distance, and then you retired to the library. The books were much the same as those in the Grand Palace library (which you had snuck into many times in the dead of night), but there were still plenty that caught your eye so your giddiness at something new remained untarnished. The Grisha history section, for instance, was a lot more expansive, and you couldn’t wait to look through it.

You glanced over the titles, taking note of the ones that pertained to your interests, and then picked a couple of books at random. A few of the Grisha who were also in the library gave you curious looks, but no one told you to leave, so you found yourself a comfortable spot and settled down to read.

You were about two chapters through a book on the Black Heretic when Mina arrived to let you know the General was ready for lunch. You eyed the clock, surprised at how late it was considering how early he had had his breakfast. You hoped he wasn’t sneaking meals without you. If the King found out, you would likely never see beyond the inside of a prison cell.

Mina must have sensed your worry, because she was quick to reassure you that such a long stretch between meals was normal for the General. Apparently, he got too caught up in his work and usually forgot to eat for hours at a time.

Indeed, when you arrived at what you assumed must have been the war room, the General was nose deep in important looking papers. He barely even glanced up at you or the server who arrived seconds later with his food. It gave you the chance to properly examine his profile up close, and you were once again struck with how handsome he was. Even with his brow furrowed in concentration, his facial features were beyond comparison to any other man you had ever met. His eyes were so dark you could get lost in them forever, and his hair looked so soft-

‘Are you going to eat or stare?’

You startled at the General’s voice, and heat flooded your face as you realised you had been caught staring. He hadn’t even looked up from his papers, so you doubted he had realised the full extent of your admiring gaze, but it was still enough to make you flustered.

‘Apologies, General,’ you said, voice rushed and a few octaves too high, and you hurried over to where the server had left his meal. You didn’t even bother to check what you were eating, too focussed on having embarrassed yourself twice in one day, and you had to hold in your dry retching as you realised you had just bitten into an olive.

‘Are you alright?’ asked the General, looking up from his desk with a small frown.

You nodded, forcing yourself to swallow. ‘I’m not a fan of olives, I’m afraid,’ you told him, hiding your mortification behind a laugh.

‘Then why did you eat it?’

‘I guess I was distracted,’ you said before realising how it sounded. You closed your eyes, silently wishing for the floor to open up and swallow you whole. When you opened them again, you could see the General was trying not laugh.

Just great.

Oh well, it wasn’t like he wouldn’t be used to women being flustered in his presence, you thought. Surely there had been others before you.

‘Was there anything else, General?’ you asked, noticing a half-drunk pitcher of water on the table.

‘I fetched the water myself,’ he said, following your gaze. ‘Rest assured, it was not tampered with.’

You nodded, satisfied, but did not leave until he dismissed you. He looked you over, assessing you as he had done the previous night, and then let you go with a wave of his hand. You gave a little bow before scurrying out of the room as fast as polite decorum allowed.

You silently vowed that the next time you saw General Kirigan, you would not make a fool of yourself.

----

The rest of the day passed without you being called upon, so with having so much free time during the day, you decided you could afford to have an earlier night, settling under the covers at 11 o’clock. You had gotten about six hours of sleep that morning, a whole hour more than what you usually got, but the brokenness of it meant that you still felt the exhaustion that all servants felt – the kind that came with working day in day out for years with no end in sight. You expected your new role would bring some relief in that regard; you had had more free time in your past day than you had had in the past month working at the Grand Palace.

The perks of risking your life, you supposed.

And with that comforting thought in mind, you decided to skip your reading and try and sleep. In retrospect, that was a bad idea. It felt like you had barely closed your eyes before there was a knock on your door, startling you awake. You looked at the clock and sighed. You had only been asleep for half an hour. Not that you were too surprised; you hadn’t seen the General since his late lunch and had spent a lot of your night waiting around for him to have his dinner.

You had given up too early it seemed.

Still, there was no use complaining about it, so you quickly got dressed and made your way to the war room. He didn’t appear to be there, however.

‘General?’ you called out, though not too loud. Most of the palace would be asleep at this time of night.

There was a noise from inside a joining room you hadn’t noticed before, and you made your way towards it. Peering inside, you realised that this must have been his bedroom, and the “war room” was in fact part of his private quarters.

Either space was short in the Little Palace, or the General was very dedicated.

Said General was sitting at a table littered with what looked like journals. His dinner was sitting to the side, untouched, but you couldn’t be sure if he had waited for you or if he was just so engrossed in his work that he hadn’t even noticed it was there.

‘General,’ you said again, this time a little quieter. He looked up from his journals, brow creased. ‘Are you ready to eat?’

His confused gaze travelled from you to the food before realisation struck him. Yep, he had definitely not known it was there. After a moment of staring at the food, he sat back in his chair and scrubbed his hands over his face. He looked exhausted.

‘I suppose so,’ he mumbled, and you took that as your cue to come further into the room. This time when you chose something to take from his plate, you paid more attention and chose a small potato. Much safer.

After a minute had passed and you were still alive, you bowed again and were just about to leave when the General’s voice stopped you.

‘Stay,’ he said, gesturing to the seat opposite him. ‘Please. I’ve been going over maps and mission plans for hours and am in need of a distraction.’

Your nervous trepidation at being asked to stay turned to all out suspicion in an instant. ‘A distraction, sir?’ you asked, voice a tad squeaky. You were well aware of what happened to some servants in the dead of the night, forced to please bored and powerful men.

Vile men.

You had not pegged the General to be such a man, but appearances could be deceiving. Maybe he had noticed you admiring him at lunch and now he wanted to do something about it?

The General was seemingly oblivious to your unease. ‘Yes,’ he nodded. ‘I think talking about something other than war and politics for a while may do me some good.’

You breathed a sigh of relief. All he wanted from you was conversation.

‘Of course, General,’ you said, taking the offered seat.

You sat there awkwardly for a moment before the General spoke again. ‘What’s your name?’ he finally asked. You happily gave it and he hummed thoughtfully as he picked at his food. ‘You’re new here, aren’t you? I don’t recall seeing you at the Little Palace before.’

‘You memorise all the servants’ faces, do you?’ you asked. It was said lightly, almost teasingly, but it brought a frown to the General’s face, and you suddenly realised how your joke must have sounded. ‘Apologies, General,’ you said quickly, looking down. So much for not embarrassing yourself. ‘I didn’t mean to speak out of turn. I was trying to be funny. As you can tell, I’m not very good at it.’

You risked a glance up at him and saw that his frown was gone and he was now fighting a smile. ‘You’re right,’ he said. ‘I don’t memorise all their faces. Just the pretty ones.’

You blushed at the unexpected compliment. Much to his delight it seemed, as he was no longer even trying to hide his smirk, even as he ate his food. It was most unlike the usually stoic Black General.

Or perhaps this was more like the real him, you pondered. A side of him that he had to keep hidden to preserve his fearsome reputation.

‘You haven’t seen me around the Little Palace before,’ you told him, steering the conversation back to his original question. ‘I’ve always worked at the Grand Palace.’

‘And how are you finding the change?’

You thought about it for a moment before answering. ‘Well, I only started yesterday evening, but it’s a nice breather to be honest. I mean, my old duties were not quite so… terrifying-’ you chuckled awkwardly ‘-but there were many more of them. It’s nice to have just the one for a while.’

For a brief second, you worried that your admission would lead to him giving you more duties, but the thought didn’t seem to even cross his mind.

‘So you weren’t a taster before?’ he asked, popping a grape into his mouth.

You shook your head. ‘I guess all the usual tasters were already spoken for. You’re stuck with me, I’m afraid.’

He didn’t comment, but there was something in his eyes that told you that he didn’t mind being stuck with you too much. Considering that he hadn’t wanted a taster at all, the thought gave you a much-needed confidence boost.

‘Do you have any leads on who is threatening you?’ you asked.

‘Why? Eager to get back to the Grand Palace?’

‘No,’ you answered quickly. A little too quickly. But if the General noticed, he didn’t say anything.

‘None as yet,’ he said, answering your question. ‘So far, all the assassination attempts have been done through… well, assassins. And they didn’t give up any information of worth. I doubt they even knew the real identities of those who hired them.’

Your eyes widened; you hadn’t realised that the “threats” the King had spoken of had already begun to come to fruition.

Your job just got even more terrifying.

‘There have already been assassination attempts?’ you asked, trying not to let your anxiety show.

The General nodded and pushed his plate away, meal done with. ‘Only two. Well, recently anyway.’ He said it so casually, and you felt a small pang of sympathy for him. How many times had someone tried to kill him for it to become so blasé?

‘If I may say so, General,’ you said, being careful with how much he was willing to let you speak freely, ‘you don’t seem overly concerned.’

The General smirked and sat back in his chair, his hands joined together at his chest. Behind him, the lights of the lanterns disappeared as a darkness crept along the room. You couldn’t deny the sight was unnerving, but you weren’t afraid.

‘Point taken,’ you said around a chuckle. Of course he wasn’t concerned; you doubted there was an assassin alive who could take him out directly.

The shadows receded but the General’s smirk remained. ‘The true perpetrators will show themselves eventually,’ he said with confidence. ‘Until then, I carry on as always.’

You nodded solemnly. You hoped that whoever was behind this threat showed themselves soon, for both of your sakes.

You both sat in silence for a few moments, each lost in your own thoughts, but not uncomfortably so. You took the chance to subtly look around the General’s bedroom. It was quite understated compared to those of the Grand Palace, but still far more spacious and inviting than any you had ever slept in. You couldn’t help but feel that it suited him, with its dark woods and darker curtains.

You didn’t let your gaze linger however, vividly remembering your embarrassing altercation at lunch. Instead, your attention fell upon the bookshelf, noticing a copy of the same book you were reading at the library that afternoon, albeit a much older edition.

‘Do you like to read?’ the General asked, obviously noticing where your attention had drifted to.

You turned back to him and nodded. ‘When I get the chance.’

‘You know, the servants are permitted to use the library here at the Little Palace.’

‘I visited it this afternoon,’ you said, a bit too much excitement creeping into your voice. ‘I’ve already made a list of books to borrow.’

‘Well, if you ever need any recommendations, let me know. I feel like I’ve read every book in there at least twice.’

You smiled warmly at the gesture. ‘I will keep that in mind. Thank you, General.’

From there, the conversation delved into you both sharing your favourite genres and opinions on certain texts. He seemed pleased with your fascination of the Small Science, and even recommended a few books about it, while you were surprised at his fondness for fictional novels. By the time you realised how much time had passed, you had almost forgotten the power dynamic between the two of you.

‘I suppose I’d better get back to it,’ said the General, looking at the papers on his desk with displeasure.

‘I’m sure they’ll still be there in the morning,’ you said, softly. ‘You should get some sleep.’

The mere mention of sleep had you suddenly remembering how tired you were, and you muffled a yawn behind your hand.

‘So should you,’ said the General. Maybe it was your sleep deprived brain, but you could have sworn there was a hint of affection in his voice.

You nodded and rose from your seat, only to stumble as your foot caught on the bottom of your skirts. You caught yourself on the table, but even if you hadn’t, you wouldn’t have fallen. General Kirigan was suddenly right next to you, holding you steady with one hand at your waist and the other on your shoulder, his fingertips just brushing your neck.

You felt your whole body heat up, at both the embarrassment and his proximity.

‘Thanks,’ you mumbled, straightening your skirts as an excuse to hide your face. Now sure that you were not going to fall, the General removed his hands, but you couldn’t help but notice how the one at your shoulder lingered for a moment.

Or perhaps it was just your imagination.

‘Are you alright?’ he asked. You looked up to find that he had only moved back one step and was still very much in your personal space. You swallowed thickly, suddenly realising how tall he was.

‘Yes, thank you General,’ you said, trying to ignore the now very different heat coursing through your body. You took a step back, hoping the distance would help. ‘Just a bout of clumsiness, that’s all. I guess I was more tired than I realised. I’ll just clear these dishes and be off to bed, I think.’

‘You don’t have to do that,’ the General protested as you gathered his plate and cutlery in your hands.

You waved him off. ‘It’s fine. No point calling someone else to do it. And the kitchens are on the way to the servants’ quarters anyway.’

At his reluctant nod, you gave a small bow and shuffled past him. You paused at the door, however; it didn’t feel right to just leave. ‘Goodnight, General,’ you said, hoping you weren’t pushing the familiarity between you too far.

The General smiled back at you, relieving you of your worries.

‘Goodnight, Y/N.’

#please let me know if you spot any typos #the darkling #the darkling x reader #darkling x reader #general kirigan x reader #aleksander morozova x reader #darkling x female reader #general kirigan

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draggingthedregs · 4 years

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as i said earlier, it is an ungodly length but i hope you can enjoy my late night, book-drunk opinions anyway!

***

guess who just finished “ruin and rising”?

i’m seriously not okay. someone send help. i got lots of thoughts, none of which you are obligated to read but this seems like the best place to share.

oh and spoilers, duh.

for starters. woah.

i can’t say it was what i expected but i had known that what my heart really wanted was kinda far out of reach. the ending felt real and feasible, complete with love and loss.

in terms of “ruin and rising” alone, i think it was possibly the strongest of the three books. the pacing was good, nothing felt like it dragged on too long or went too fast for its own good. i think that was really important as well, considering the fact that there was always something going on. literally,, always. no one ever got a damn break.

mal’s “death” hurt me more then i had expected. which honestly leads back to one of my main gripes with this story. the love square (which i elaborate on later in this post, just hold on a bit). i’m not going to lie. i hated mal. through the middle of “siege and storm” up to page 168 of “ruin and rising” (and even then it was a long road from hate to crying over him). he was an ass, i think we can all admit that. for awhile there, i even jumped on the “fuck mal” train and had no plans to stop at any station anytime soon. for the longest time, the relationship with alina felt so fragile and forced, like the only reason it existed was because leigh had written it into existence. though, as i read on, i saw why it was so strained and saw the eventual resolution, which i will admit i was happy with. mal and alina, however annoying and troupe filled their personalities were, did develop as characters. and their relationship made some semblance of sense in the grand scheme of things. does that mean i forgive the “on-again-off-again”, “cold-shoulder”, “we-cant-be-together-in-this-lifetime” bullshit? no. does that mean i suddenly love mal? also, no. does that mean i ship them? ugh slightly. does that mean in a magical dream world where i got to chose what happened, they’d still end up together? impossible to say. BUT i can say, that they deserved each other. and i am happy that they got their peace together like they both always wanted (no matter how out of place it felt at any point), especially considering the fact that she literally had to kill him.

my dear dear darkling... i knew what fate awaited you and yet, when the time came... it hurt just the same.

okay,, that was a bit dramatic. but come on. leigh wrote a damn good villain with aleksander morozova. i meAN, thE lAYERS. he was a horrible person and yet, so many of us still love him. he killed for fun, manipulated no matter the cost, preyed upon the weak because he could, literally blinded his own mother and still! i can’t help but love him. there was so much human woven into his darkness. the moments of simple longing, of exhaustion, of loneliness. in all honesty, if there had been a way to humanize him, to erase or explain away his atrocities and have him just be aleksander again, i feel like i would do it. but, in the context of the story i do understand why it wasn’t possible. redemption for the darkling was off the table, no matter how much humanity still remained. but that’s what makes him such a good character. you want him to be different because you can see the good and all the potential for things to change, for them to rule ravka side by side, but at the same time, he’s the same man who is still actively creating more shadow demon creatures to eat whoever he wishes. you can’t resist him and that’s why he’s so wonderful, yet horrifying at the exact same time. (though don’t worry i am still a trash can and the darklina ship is still superior in the love square. again, i promise i will get there).

i feel like i have to talk about how much i loved the “secondary characters” (i struggle to call them that because they actually run this shit). i will say, at first, i hated zoya. i am not a big fan of the “mean girl” troupe or the “i’m-prettier-than-you-and-i-know-it” thing but... she really grew on me. i looked forward to zoyas comments and constant bitchiness, as did the characters in the books. and when she left the note and the blue kefta with alina in the epilogue,, oh god my heart. and the ragtag crew of grisha making up the remainder of the second army were amazing. their banter and dialogue were some of my favorite scenes to read in “ruin and rising” and i want books just filled with them and only them. david and genya deserve the damn world, adrik was so great, nadia and tamar are so precious, and i will miss harshaw’s weird ass more then you’ll ever know. don’t even get me started on misha and oncat. they are the true stars of this series, you cannot convince me otherwise. god i love them all so much, what a brilliant cast of characters. except the apparat. fuck the stupid ass apparat.

i know what you’re thinking. “you forgot nikolai.” no. i promise you, i most certainly did not. i just love him so much he gets his own chunk.

i mean, how could he not? he’s one of those rare, genuinely perfect characters that are impossible to not love. and i don’t mean perfect because he has no flaws or he’s written unnaturally, i mean perfect because of all of his flaws. he is arrogant and calculating, brash and unapologetic in his ways, but he’s also kind and caring, witty and charming and way too clever for his own good. i rooted for him more then i have ever rooted for someone in my entire life. he made everything ten times better. you can always count on his ass to pop up in a flying ship with a shiny pair of boots, a witty remark, a new plan, and too many ideas.

now, the important business... the ominous love square.

i think the words i used were “one of my main gripes with the story” which is true, but i think leads to a bigger issue with some of the characterization in the story. the “love square” was a term i thought of in relation to the many overlapping and confusing ships that center around alina (obviously being mal, the darkling, and nikolai). all of the ships were so entertwined and written over top of one another that there was no other way for me to describe it and the square seemed like a nice enough analogy. it just felt like way too much on everybody’s plates.

i love nikolai and alinas friendship. i mean, LOVED it. because i loved it so much, i found the little nods to a ship odd and unnecessary. their story line was very focused on the fact that ravka would need a king and queen, hence the scene where he gives her the emerald and all but proposes right then and there. however, that scene would have made scene and carried the same weight had there not been the splashes of romance both before and after. now, i understand why people ship them. and honestly, if under different circumstances, i probably could’ve and would’ve shipped them myself. they would have had one of the best marriages in a society where you didn’t get to marry for love. but it just made everything more complicated. people would’ve speculated on a ship had there been no kisses or pining, soley based on the possibility of a marriage and because of their close friendship so, why was the canon addition of it necessary? i just couldn’t get behind it when i loved their platonic relationship so much and when there were two stronger and more developed ships, waging war in the background.

now, my final bone to be picked... let’s be real for a second, alina in “shadow and bone” sucked. she was annoying and had no personality beyond being a sad, lonely, orphan in the darklings sparkly new grisha world. though i will say, in the later two books, i grew to like her. her character development did its job and i actually think she grew to be a pretty good protagonist. she did her best with the cards she was dealt and i think she did really well. however, her inability to pick a boy constantly bothered me. after being in love with her best friend for literal years, she is really ready to be be the first lady of the second army. and yes. sure you could justify it. she wasn’t getting letters in return, she’d been away for months, she was adapting to her new life, the darkling made her feel seen and wanted which is all a very new feeling to her. but then she goes right back to mal after he makes a confession that he didn’t realize he loved or needed her until she was gone for months (this was one of my biggest problems with mal. my problem only grew when he spent the entirety of “siege and storm” being a dick. but like i said,, we have reconcilied. we are fine now). there were times throughout the series where i genuinely didn’t understand why they were together, why i liked them together, or why i even wanted them to end the series together. alina even asks mal at the end of “ruin and rising” if there entire relationship was based solely on the fact that mal was the last amplifier and the fact that she even had to ask really says something. was their entire romance because of the amplifier? was it because of the “we-are-just-meant-to-be-together” thing? or was there actual chemistry? i really couldn’t tell sometimes. and the darklina ship was even more twisty and winding. he went from telling her deep dark secrets because he wanted to hear the girl he loved say his name to literally threatening everyone she loves because he wants her weak and all to himself. like,, whAt? (again,, layers) and don’t even get me started on the darkling and alina apparition interactions. those were a wild fucking ride. i felt like i was getting manipulated along with the both of them in those. but maybe that was the point of the darkling and alinas relationship. it was supposed to be so horrible yet so electric that you couldn’t pull away. but i doubt the same was meant to be said for mal and alina.

now i feel like i may be coming off in the wrong way. i loved more about this series then i didn’t. but me gushing about every fine detail and conversation that made my heart melt wouldn’t make for the most interesting read, if it was even coherent. all in all, i think it’s safe to say the grisha trilogy is great. does that mean it doesn’t have flaws? of course not. does that mean the flaws outweigh the good and the actual point of the story? absolutely not. my small complaints about a few things really do not take always from the fact that i love this series. i would love anything written by leigh bardugo, especially in the grishaverse.

if you’ve made it this far, that’s commitment. thank you brave soldier. don’t take anything i’ve said with anything more than a grain of salt. seriously. if this is your favorite series, don’t let my lil complaints ruin your day. because really, the good outweighs the bad here tenfold. i’m just a girl with a lot of opinions and a platform to share them at four am... it’s a dangerous game.

but, goodbye grisha trilogy. you have served me well and i will return to reread you soon. but for now i will do a lot of writing (i already have so many fic ideas brewing) and read all the fan fiction and tumblr posts i’ve been avoiding for fear of spoilers.

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ram-reads · 3 years

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For a while I thought I was enjoying this book more than King of Scars, which I gave 3 stars, but the further I got into this book the less true that became. This sequel never fully engaged my attention which is why it’s taken me about a month to read.

While King of Scars focused a lot on Nikolai and his demon, in Rule of Wolves the main focus is on the brewing war with Fjerda. Nikolai has a lot on his plate. The Darkling is back and with him came an uncontrollable blight similar to the Fold that randomly strikes any place regardless of country leaving nothing alive in its wake. On top of that he has to deal with the plot the Shu had to kill him along with figuring out how to deal with the truth of his parentage that the Fjerdans want to exploit. So yeah, a lot. Luckily Zoya is there to help him. There’s also Nina who can pass along crucial information on Fjerda’s plans after infiltrating Jarl Brum’s house through his daughter Hanne. I usually enjoy books with multiple plot lines like this, but that wasn’t the case here. Too much was going on that felt completely unnecessary. I won’t get into every single instance this was the case, but the most obvious one to me had to do with the blight and the Darkling. The blight is important in the beginning but quickly gets pushed to the rear. It gets brought up so little that even I forgot it was a part of the book until it becomes important again near the end. It felt shoehorned in to give a purpose to the Darkling who also contributed pretty much nothing to the book. It felt like Bardugo was just writing a ton of filler solely to make this book longer than King of Scars because some moments would just drag on. This isn’t to say that I found every plot boring. I was always looking forward to Nina’s chapters because it was interesting watching her gather information on the Fjerdans right under their noses. I also liked getting to know more about Fjerdan royalty. The chapters involving the Shu were my favorites and any time a battle happened I found myself glued to the page. So there was plenty that did entertain me, but there was just as much that bored me. It doesn’t help that the story is told from multiple perspectives. This just means that if there’s a character I have no interest in I have to trudge through their chapters to get to what I am interested in. There were three characters I cared little about so I often found myself being taken out of the story during their chapters. To be fair not all of their chapters would be boring, but enough were that I struggled to pick the book back up whenever I would hit one of their perspectives.

Two of the characters I didn’t care about were Nikolai and Zoya. This was also true for me in King of Scars. I never read the Shadow and Bone trilogy, so I’m not sure if I’m just missing some context that isn’t as clear in this duology since I know Nikolai is a beloved character from that series, but try as I might I never came to care about either of them. Nikolai has always felt generic to me and Zoya’s character was too tied to Nikolai’s problems in the first book for her to feel like her own person. It took until the end of the last book for me to want to know more about Zoya. Her plot line was actually one of the ones I was most excited for going into this book, but just like the previous one very little was done with her character until the very end. Bardugo really dropped the ball on Zoya’s potential. I’ve never cared about Zoya and Nikolai as a couple, I preferred them as close friends. This book didn’t change my feelings on the matter. I found the pining going on between them to be tedious to read through to the point where I wanted them to get together just so I wouldn’t have to read about them yearning for each other anymore. For those who do enjoy them as a couple they have many intimate moments that I’m sure you’ll love. While Zoya and Nikolai never captured my attention I continued to enjoy Nina’s character. Her chapters melded better with the plot than they did in King of Scars. She’s always been a clever character but I feel like her cleverness really shines in this installment. She’s fooling the drüskelle commander, the Fjerdan queen and prince, and making a big chunk of the Fjerdan population believe in the Saints through fake miracles she’s concocting. I was always engaged whenever she was on the page and she remains one of my favorite characters from the Grishaverse. My feelings on Hanne and Nina are neutral. I like Hanne and the character arc they go through, but it’s hard for me to really enjoy their relationship with Nina when I still miss Matthais. I did like how everything between Nina and Hanne was resolved though and am eager to see where their relationship goes from here. While these three were the main characters of the first book we do get two additional voices in this one. One is the Darkling and the other one might be a bit of a spoiler so I’ll just say they’re related to the Shu. I’ve never been a fan of bringing back people who have been killed off, so I didn’t like that the Darkling was brought back at the end of the last book. I was still curious about what would happen to his character though, but he ended up being pointless. He didn’t need to be brought back. His entire character could’ve been cut from the book and not much would’ve changed. As for the Shu character I really loved what their chapters brought to the story. I wouldn’t mind a whole book following them or their companions. The worldbuilding continues to remain Bardugo’s strongest asset. We get to learn so much more about the Shu government, the Fjerdan government, and even a little bit about Novyi Zem. I’ve always wanted more knowledge on the Shu so I’m glad they had a bigger role in this novel. I’m hoping one day Bardugo will move away from Ravka and Kerch and draw her attention to other areas of the world she has created. While I usually love Bardugo’s writing I obviously had many problems with it in this one. One of my biggest gripes though was how the ending was handled. With how high stakes this book was I thought the ending was wrapped up a little too nicely for my tastes. Along with that so many plot lines weren’t resolved until the very end which resulted in the feeling of everything being rushed. My feelings for this book were all over the place. I didn’t care about half of the characters, the plot interested me only half the time, and I cared little about the romance. There were plenty of times the book captured my attention but it failed to consistently keep it. I wish I could’ve enjoyed this duology more, though I’m still glad to have read it for the moments I did like. I’m looking forward to what the Grishaverse has in store for me next and with what the final two pages allude to I’m hopeful that I’ll enjoy it more than I was able to for this one.

#book review #book reviews #rule of wolves #grishaverse #ya fantasy #ya books #2021 reads #2.5 stars #my reviews

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strawberrybookfields · 5 years

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The Book Slump

What a word? It’s what haunts every avid book reader. It is the one thing we hope to not happen to us, but it does. Whether life gets in the way or we just don’t like a book, it will unavoidably happen to you. (Unless you are superhuman and are immune to this phenomenon).

If you are unfamiliar with the term “Book Slump,” it is simply when a reader has no interest in reading anymore and just can’t seem to get into that book, even when they’ve been wanting to read these books for some time. But, guess what? Wanting to read such a book means absolutely nothing. Nothing. At all.

And who am I to say this?

...

Well, I was in a book slump for three years.

Three years of my life when I could have been reading, wasted. Absolutely, gone. Forever. You can imagine how mad I am about this. And I will never get those three years I could have spent reading back.

Before the beginning of my Freshman year, I was in the prime of my reading days. I had caught up with all of Sarah J. Maas’ books, waiting for the release of Queen of Shadows and A Court of Wings and Ruin. I NEEDED them. So, I filled that time with reading Red Queen and The Grisha Trilogy.

The three days before my first day of high school, I started and finished The Grisha Trilogy and had absolutely no idea what to do with myself after finishing it. I was so absorbed with the story, I truly believed nothing could be as good as what I had read. Which, I had experienced after I had binged all of Cassandra Clare’s books. I was invested in the Darkling. I WANTED SO MUCH MORE OF THE DARKLING. The mention of his name was enough to make my heart pound as if I had just gone on a year-long run.

*Side Tangent*

If there was an entire book series on just the Darkling and him alone. Damn. I would be so down for this book. I would read Crooked Kingdom at the speed of light. Honestly, the only reason I’m reading Crooked Kingdom is to read King of Scars lol. I hear the Darkling is mentioned.

*End Tangent*

So, following this I decided it was in my best interest to pick up Glass Sword. Because, like my love for the Darkling, I LOVED Maven (and this could be a whole different post so I won’t go into much detail). I was so much more invested in Maven’s story than Mare and Cal’s, I believe I set myself up for the slump.

The more work that piled up on me during my first month of high school the more I kept pushing my personal time for reading aside. And then I was introduced to K-Pop. “Oh, I’ll just watch this tonight and read tomorrow.” Or maybe not. Perhaps, just maybe, never.

I couldn’t really stand Mare or Cal, so why bother?

And so, I began my investment with K-Pop and I had no plans on messing around. Like how I had invested myself with reading, I solely filled my personal time with K-Pop related videos, instead of reading. Some time into the school year, I realized how little I was reading and attempted to read The Raven Boys.

Whew. Um, nope. No. That was the last book I needed to be reading to pull myself out of the book slump. That isn’t to say it isn’t a good book, but I personally preferred a fully immersive young adult fantasy series told from the perspective of our female protagonist who had some type of interesting back story of sorts. So, you can guess how that one went down.

And so the full immersion into the book slump began. My Sophomore year rolled around and my teacher decided to devote the first five minutes of each class to read a book. I decided Six of Crows was my best option since it is A) Leigh Bardugo and B) the first book to a series in the universe I love and C) since it is the first book, it’ll be easy to explain and seduce my fellow classmates to read.

Now, did I love it? Absolutely! I fell in love. Does that mean I have finished reading Crooked Kingdom? Barely started it. Oops.

The second book I decided to read was Demian by Hermann Hesse, because of my K-Pop obsession. And I loved both of these books. A LOT.

So, now you might be thinking, “Alix, this is your moment. You can pull yourself out of this slump.”

Well, reading for fun again did cross my mind, but I truly didn’t even realize I was in a book slump until I got out of it. So, no. I did not put my book slump to rest.

Instead, I began the next year of high school attempting to read Lady Midnight and A Darker Shade of Magic. Which again, I set myself up for failure. Lady Midnight was too long for me (or so I thought, now I’m reading Sarah J. Maas and KoA is coming for me) and A Darker Shade of Magic was too complex. But, this time we were not doing an assignment on them and I had no motivation to finish them.

Now, it’s senior year. And I’m taking a class on genocide.

You read that right.

My love for the books I read and the experiences I read began to fuel something in me, where I realized how much I enjoyed reading those books. And one day, while Marie Kondoing my bedroom, I saw it. That’s right. It.

The damned book that put me in the slump in the first place. Laying on its side, a bookmark still marking where I had stopped three years earlier. And I picked it up and continued.

And ever since, I haven’t stopped.

If you would like to see all the book I have read this year you can click right here. I mean it isn’t as impressive as some people’s, however, I take this as a feat any day considering the past three years.

I mean, right now, it is very hard for me because I am reading Tower of Dawn and a lot of things are happening in my life right now, however I am so determined to finish this book and read other ones, I don’t think I will be running into a slump anytime soon.

Yeah, Chaol... I still have some mixed feelings...

So, what might be the point of this? Well, there could be many. For one, it is okay to fall into a slump. Most people do not have the same experience that I did. Good grief, a three-year slump. I would never wish that upon anyone. But, I do have to say is it gives you a break and helps restart that interest you have after it may have died a bit. The other thing is I really feel like I was able to explore another side of me I feel I never would have found before had I not entered this slump.

The most important thing when it comes to slamming the door on a book slump is to not just read a book you want to read, but a book that will hold your attention and keep your interest. Wanting to read and enjoying the book’s content are two very different things. Because, if you don’t enjoy the content and you are reading about the boringness that is Mare and Cal, you won’t be getting anywhere.

#book #book slump #sarah j maas #leigh bardugo #throne of glass #grisha trilogy #a court of thornes and roses #acotar #victoria aveyard #red queen #chaol #mare #cal #maven #the darkling #demian #six of crows

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dekoranevich · 3 years

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i do want to start this off by saying that this is not the only or even the best interpretation, there is no one right way to interpret literature, this is solely my response based in no small part on my own personal experiences as a survivor & in the aftermath of telling someone about my history. it’s also not remotely a judgment on anyone who likes this ship, nor is it an announcement that i’ll never write it or enjoy content about it or enjoy the ship as a whole; these are just my feelings about what we’re given in ruin and rising, and i’m more than open to having my mind changed. there are a lot of ships i didn’t enjoy much in canon that i’ve loved in fanworks. it’s also not a judgment on l.eigh b.ardugo: i think she wrote this dynamic as lovingly and compassionately as she could, and i appreciate a lot of what it means, even if it’s not for me.

but i went into r&r hoping to change my mind — i kept an eye out for the david and genya interactions throughout the earlier books, and in the first half of r&r, and i found myself really enjoying the foundation that was laid. with that said, david’s confession really bothers me, and in my portrayal of genya, she is not with david by default after the events of the original trilogy / in the latter half of r&r, because i think that my portrayal of genya would be really bothered as well. and just to recap on a couple of points i made in earlier posts, i think genya treats beauty (and hers in particular) as a weapon rather than as armor, and a major motivator for genya pre-series through to s&b is to have real power & be on equal footing with other grisha. one of genya’s overarching drives is, always, a refusal to be powerless ever again, and that’s the core of why david’s confession bothers me. here’s the text, for reference:

“Genya—” David tried.

“Don’t you dare,” she said roughly, tears welling up again. “You never looked at me twice before I was like this, before I was broken. Now I’m just something for you to fix.”

I was desperate for words to soothe her, but before I could find any, David bunched up his shoulders and said, “I know metal.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Genya cried.

David furrowed his brow. “I … I don’t understand half of what goes on around me. I don’t get jokes or sunsets or poetry, but I know metal.” His fingers flexed unconsciously as if he were physically grasping for words. “Beauty was your armor. Fragile stuff, all show. But what’s inside you? That’s steel. It’s brave and unbreakable. And it doesn’t need fixing.” He drew in a deep breath then awkwardly stepped forward. He took her face in his hands and kissed her.

and at first glance it really is very sweet — you don’t need fixing, i don’t care that you’re wounded, nothing makes me care about you any less. and i think that it’s meant to be very sweet, and i don’t think there’s any malice in david when he says this — honestly, i don’t think there’s a malicious bone in david’s body. but i do think it speaks to a very fundamental misunderstanding of who genya is: genya’s worst fear is powerlessness, and the greatest and cruelest punishment the darkling could dole out to her wasn’t the pain of the attack, but the pain of the aftermath: taking away the one thing that she felt she could use to protect herself, taking away something that she felt was a major piece of her identity.

and so it’s... dismissive. beauty was your armor. fragile stuff, all show — the thing you cherished about yourself because you could use it as a weapon when you had nothing else was shallow, and unnecessary. he’s taking her fear of powerlessness in a moment of immense fear and unease and saying, that’s okay, because the thing you thought made you powerful doesn’t matter, anyway. and it’s not intended to be cruel, but it honestly hurt to read, because if you treat beauty as genya’s weapon rather than armor ( which is how i’ve always interpreted her ), then you have someone saying i’m glad you don’t have fangs or claws, those things don’t matter anyway, regardless of how badly you were hurt. and even if you take it for what he says — beauty as armor — he’s dismissing that armor in the aftermath of genya facing her rapist and demanding accountability. and it’s badly timed, and it’s badly phrased, and it’s not malicious but it is, unintentionally, unkind.

beyond that — and this is personal and anecdotal, but life experiences matter and they color your interpretation of literature — i’ve had a lot of experience telling people about what happened to me. doctors, friends, family, therapists, and people i’ve been attracted to, people i’ve wanted to want me. with only a handful of exceptions, most of them trained professionals and only one a personal friend, the response has been painful: “how could that have happened?” “what do you mean, rape?” “you must have done something to invite it.” and, just as painful, even if it’s not malicious — “but it made you so much stronger” or, on the flip side, treating me like i’m a fragile child who can’t take care of herself. only one friend has responded the right way: he listened, he told me he was sorry i’d experienced that and thanked me for trusting him enough to share something so personal, and then he said, “what do you need from me to feel safer and more comfortable, without feeling condescended to?” and so he’d walk me to my car after late classes or he’d text me after a particularly rough class to check in, or he’d stay with me in my office if i was shaky and needed some sort of buffer. he’s still one of my best friends, in no small part because of this.

but david’s response falls into the latter of those categories — not malicious by a long shot, and in fact very kindly meant, but still deeply painful. he’s unintentionally confirming her belief that she was only worthwhile to him when he’d seen how she suffered. she was only valuable to him once she’d proven her strength. he built a meaning around her experiences and he applied it to her, and it’s a normal and natural thing for a person to do particularly when faced with something like this, but he applies this meaning to her without knowing what it means to her and he does it in the immediate aftermath of genya facing her rapist for the first time in months, for the first time since she defended herself, and for the first time without the weapon she’s relied upon her whole life. it’s salt in the wound, and the first time i read it i felt like i’d had the wind knocked out of me, because people have said things like that to me and each time it felt like i was being hit: this major trauma that fundamentally changed who you are has proven that you’re worth my time. this major trauma that you’re still suffering as a result of, even one / two / five / ten years later, made you more desirable. and it’s never meant unkindly, but it always, always hurts.

and this is long and like i said, this interpretation is very personal and i don’t think anyone who disagrees is wrong and i don’t think everyone needs to agree with me. this is relevant to my portrayal, though, because in my portrayal, genya would feel the same way, and genya would be very uncomfortable with it. and i’m very open to shipping genya and david, and exploring that dynamic, because i do love the foundation of it — but there would have to be a different confession, and it would have to come farther down the line, and not in the immediate aftermath of such a deeply painful and re-traumatizing event.

#i. all you have is your fire and the place you need to reach. ( about )#tw: rape #tw: victim blaming #(i love david & i think david only ever meant it kindly)#(but god the first time i read that i did have to set the book down for a couple of days bc it was just. painful)#(and it's a lovely speech for a different set of circumstances)#(i'm v open to the ship but !! not like this)#(and i very much welcome & enjoy & appreciate all different perspectives on this - this is just my perspective based on my experience)

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