[Image description: A tweet, edited erasure-poetry style in red. Resulting text reads, "I like men!!" in all capital letters.]
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I LIKE MEN ‼
Submitted by @mango-bubbletea
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It is once again 1925, somehow, and you once again find yourself as SPADES SLICK, which needs no explanation. Well, it suits you just fine. A time of RUFFIANS, THUGGERY, and SNAPPILY DRESSED CRIMINALS. Just the kind of place where a guy like you can really stretch his legs.
You decide while in Rome to do as the Romans do and find yourself a nice lamppost to lean against while being on the lookout for DAMES looking for TROUBLE. Be that trouble they are in or about to be in, courtesy of yours truly. It's just your luck, then, that you should find a PERFECTLY SIZED LAMPPOST to lean against. Now you're getting into the swing of things, like a CROWBAR to the FACE OF A CLOCK. Heh, good times, you tell yourself. Good times.
Getting into the natural groove and rhythm of things, you decide to take out ONE QUARTER and begin to flip it like you flip the bird to those Felt mooks. Yeah, this is nice, real nice.
But what's this? A DAME? And of the foxiest variety to boot, mayhaps a PANICKING MADAME? But that only sweetens the pot as you find yourself staring into her beautiful, beady eyes. Like staring into the void that stares back and isn't above blinking from time to time.
You find yourself just as sucked into her eyes as a black hole, or "suckered" may be more appropriate as it dawns on you that the UNRULY QUARTER refuses to march to your beat, the damn thing grazing the skin of your palm like many a dodged bullet aimed squarely at your rather BULBOUS HEAD. But this hits harder than any of those bullets ever could, as time seems to slow down to taunt you, mock you, spit in your face for thinking you could sit with the times at the cool kid table. You watch in slow motion as that quarter bounces and rolls its metallic ass right toward the sewer grate like a man coming home for dinner.
You have just lost the equivalent of THIRTY THOUSAND DOLLARS
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something so sexy about chu wanning’s confession culminating in “i love you and i’m willing to submit to you” like both lifetimes it’s shown that mo ran is very possessive over him, all he’s ever wanted is for chu wanning to be his and instead of mo ran having to unlearn all of that and creating healthy boundaries or whatever, chu wanning just admits that he’s into it
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Paul: Hi, I'm Ted's emergency contact.
Counter Woman: You're here to pick him up?
Paul: I'm here to remove myself as his emergency contact.
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