#i love people so much but i cant be around them. i feel to alien
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park jimin fic rec list (Ⅲ)
woah it really has been a long time since i posted but i am so glad to be back and to get back into reading i saw so many of my favourite authors have updated and i am beyond excited to start this journey again but in the mean time here's jimin rec list as promised it was so exciting finishing this list cause i got so nostalgic making it and reading all the old fics i had on my reading list ughhh i just loved it so much and it got me back into the swing of things and i cant wait to make more lists, i do have another jjk list ready and i will post it the day after tomorrow so i hope you enjoy this one and don't forget to show all the love and support in the world to these amazing authors they work so hard to create these fics for us and they deserve endless praise and love for the commitment and generosity they have so please do leave them a comment, heart or reblog a small comment can go a long way here and can make someone smile even bigger so dont don't shy away from making someone happy... as usual you guys know this fics i recommend contain smut so minors don't interact you will be blocked... i really do love hearing from you guys so if you do have a little fic you are super into right now and you just want to rant about how amazing it is feel free to send me an ask 😊🖤
a- angst s- smut f- fluff
series
plot twist by @xpeachesncream f s a
↳ jimin isn’t interested in fake dating, but he’s definitely interested in getting to know someone the right way. after all, he feels like he’s ready to put himself out there and give it all he’s got. so, he takes a risk in trying something completely out of his comfort zone and hops on the new, popular dating app - only to come across and get to know someone he didn’t expect to meet.
a remedy for mondays by @dovechim s
↳ all you wanted was just one day off work. but for that to happen, you need to invent a plausible reason. and then somehow, somewhere along the way, things get out of hand, and now people think you’re having a baby with your co-worker Park Jimin after a one-night stand. confused? join the club.
it’s okay, that’s love by @/dovechim f s a deals with deep subjects
↳ People are constantly making some kind of connection with each other- be it friendship or romance. But human bonds always lead to messy complications; commitment, sharing, driving people to the airport, letting them get up close and personal with the darkest parts of ourselves. And sure- it’s scary as hell to watch them cross those boundaries you’ve so meticulously drawn, but it’s okay, because that’s love.
so it goes by @/dovechim f s
↳ Park Jimin knows a lot about humans. of course he does, he studies them for a living. he knows that they say hello by holding hands, and when they say goodbye, they put their arms around each other. but this particular human, he notes, is unlike the rest- stuck in a slump, going about your day praying for the Universe to stage an intervention in the form of an alien abduction. when he decides to finally fulfil your wishes, he finds that you have a little something to teach him about what it means to live life on Earth the way you do: ugly crying, underwear and all. in return, he shows you the possibilities that abound if you simply adopted their mantra: everything is beautiful, and nothing hurts.
love again by @taestefully-in-luv f s a
↳ A friend of yours is eager to introduce you to her new man but what happens when Park Jimin, the man who broke your heart 5 years ago walks in through the door?
the other woman: the seduction and the illusion by @namjooningelsewhere f s a
↳ No one told you being the other woman would never be easy, No one told you that his love would be two sides to a same coin. No one told you he came to you because you were his escape to his demons. No one told you he would always call you his, but he would never be yours. And most importantly no one told you, He never loved you because you dont destroy the people you love.
FUTURE HEARTS by @jungblue f s a ft. jjk
↳ It was everything, from his tattoos, to his touches, to the way sweat rolled down his neck as he strummed into his guitar on stage; everything about him completely enthralled you. So why are you now, two and a half years later, on a train to Seoul, telling a complete stranger the recollection of how you became fated to forever have scars on all of your future hearts due to the happiness, but most of all the pain, that came along with falling in love with Jeon Jungkook.
after the applause by @foxymoxynoona
↳ Jimin doesn't know how he would have made it this far after the shattering of his world without the support of his thoughtful, generous, helpful neighbor. Hanbyul has lived next to hottie Jimin and his adorable daughter for years now, long enough to remember the wife he was so devoted to and lost far too young. With each safely ensconced on their side of the brick wall of the Parks' grief, it will take an enterprising little scientist to set the stage for a second chance at love.
saved by @to-star-lake s a
rockstar au deep subjects read warnings
midnight memories by @hobipaint f s a
↳ there's drunk habits, and then there's drunk mistakes. What do you call meeting your friend - no, ‘former friend’ - at a bar, getting drunk with him and sleeping- 'accidentally' - with him? especially when everyone already knows that you stay away from him as much as the day does from night?
Easy. You forget about it.
heartbreak chronicles by @sugaxjpg s
↳ Park Jimin had it all — good grades, a place as the soccer team’s captain and, more than that, the broken hearts of at least half the campus’ population. Though, one thing he did not have was someone willing to break his heart and, after you were dragged inside a miraculous plan to play that part, the last thing counted on was the preposterous idea that, perhaps, you could fall for him as well.
drifting by@hongcherry f a
↳ After being assigned different partners for your midterm routine, your and Jimin’s relationship starts to deteriorate when you both begin spending more time away from each other and with your assigned partners instead.
growing pains by @taleasnewastime f s a
↳ Growing up the daughter of the boss of a gang is never easy, but normally the problems are around being given too many responsibilities, or the risk of being connected to a gang leader, or wanting to escape but not being able to. But you’ve got a different problem, you want more responsibility, want to be like your brother who’s been named heir, want a role in the family gang. Your whole life you’ve been denied what you want, being born a female seemingly your main issue; perceived as weak, naïve, trying to step above your station. But as unsupportive and dismissive as your family is, there is always the bright light that is Jimin; the boy you love but can never have.
tuqburni by @solastia f s a ft.myg
↳ You’ve spent two years building a life with Yoongi who you loved more than anything in the world. Now, his ex-boyfriend Jimin is back in the picture, and Yoongi begs you not to make him choose between the two of you, offering the choice of a polyamorous relationship. Though your heart is shattered, you agree.
stardust by @venusjeon f a
↳ struck by your beauty, Jimin begs to paint you naked behind the world's back so as not to stain your influential family—his patrons—with scandal.
drift by @snackhobi f s
↳ You used to think that there was nothing better than the sensation of coming first place. However, your rival- the talented, gorgeous, dangerous Park Jimin- is more than happy to prove you wrong.
the deli diaries by @jimlingss f
↳ Working at a grocery store deli is absolutely unbearable (and you’re also perfectly aware of how dramatic you are). But it seems like something, or rather, someone might make the job a bit more manageable.
best of me by @xotoosweet f a
↳ when he tells the story of how he met you in a few years, he'll claim that it was meant to be. you'll laugh and call it a coincidence. it was a coincidence that on the first day of summer semester, he decided to go on a run (though he claimed he always ran in the mornings). it was a coincidence that he chose a less traveled path in the university arboretum that morning. and it was definitely a coincidence that you were there, sitting on the rail of the river bridge.
the ten days of ex-mas by @kpopfanfictrash f s a
↳ Three months following the worst break-up of your life, you finally feel ready to start moving on. The world, it seems, has other ideas when you pick up the phone and find your ex-boyfriend calling.
strip by @yoonia f s a
↳ Summary | Everything you have done has always been about surviving life and raising your child on your own. Having someone else caring about you was the last thing you had expected. Especially when that someone is the same man you have watched performing every night on stage and secretly admired. But will he run the moment he finds out about your little secret waiting at home?
falling by @/yoonia s a
↳ For Park Jimin, you are everything he will ever need—his assistant, his housekeeper, his task runner, his fairy godmother. For you, he is more than everything. You have dedicated your life for him and, before you even realised it, your heart belongs to him alone. The only problem is that he is never yours, and you are living in a world that your love for him is nothing more than a fairytale ending. As you are suddenly given a chance to wake up and face the real world, will you be ready to embrace it? Will he be ready to deal with the world without you in it?
wrapped around by @jjkfire ft. kth f s a
↳ Freshman year was a mess and sophomore year doesn’t seem to be looking too good either. You know boys like them are no good for you but maybe they’re just your kind of type
baby, baby by @hobiwonder f s a
↳ When you’ve run out of savings to continue on to the last semester of your Bachelors - you take an unorthodox route. Helping a desperate couple have a child and getting paid for it? Heck yeah. But what do you know - it wasn’t as easy as it sounds.
love at first touch by bagelswrites (ao3)
↳ The first time you meet your soulmate, it leaves a bruise on both of you at the point of contact. From then on, your body begins rejecting any sustenance other than the touch of your soulmate. The trick is, the bruises take a few hours to appear, so you have to figure out who you've touched and find them before you starve to death. But once you do, all you ever need is them. So what happens if you're an idol and you meet your soulmate at a fan event?
our little family by @nightbts f a
↳ you were living a simple life filled with simple dreams; combining your two most loved things in life, children and teaching, you were starting out your career as a teacher at the local pre-school. but little did you know, how one child and her very special father, would change your simple life into something extraordinary
one-shot 35
brand new eyes by @missgeniality s
↳ Jimin’s eyes had potential to ruin you, and tonight you test the damage.
waves by @shina913 s
↳ It's Valentine's Day and your boyfriend decides to spice things up with a little surprise for you.
failure to communicate by @gukslut s
↳ Enemies to Lovers/ College AU
physical by @ppersonna f s
↳ you cant seem to escape the sexy fitness instructor that seemingly is everywhere you turn. it’s enough to make you irrational.
good for you by @candlewaxandp0lar0ids s
↳ Jimin can’t help the way he drowns himself in you. Why should he anyway?
ho-ho-home by @jjungkookislife s a
↳ Golden neighbor extraordinaire, Park Jimin, is (unintentionally) stealing your spotlight this holiday season. Despite your one sided rivalry with him, all Jimin wants is for you to remember him, to remember your past and hopefully create a future with you.
100km/hour by @chateautae s
↳ what exactly happens when you and your friends have to pile into one car for the ride home after an insane halloween party, and you find yourself sitting in park jimin’s lap? especially when he’s dressed as an angel, and you’re in the sluttiest devil costume ever?
what it's like by @jimilter s
↳ You’ve always heard great tales about how good the infamous fuckboy on campus, Park Jimin, is in bed, and wondered if there could be any truth behind these claims when the guy looks like an angel with his cheruby cheeks and precious smiles. So when a new gossip starts to circulate about how ‘hard he hits’, you have had enough of the suspense and decide to finally sample him yourself.
feel your touch by @/jimilter f s a
↳ You have always known yourself to be a sexual switch in bed, flipping between exercising and submitting control according to different situations and partners. And this camboy you are addicted to, one that seems to kinda reciprocate your interest, submits so beautifully that you just want to command him. But when things progress to levels you never anticipated, you end up discovering pleasant surprises that might just change your life.
the prince’s cinderella syndrome by @/jimilter f s a ft jjk
↳ He shows up at Halloween, every year, dressed the same, and leaves at midnight like some Cinderella. You would think he was a prankster if his eyes didn't look like they contained all the sadness in the world. You don't know him - no one on campus does. You don't know why he appears only once a year. You don't know why he never smiles. But you can't help falling in love with him. Even if he breaks your heart when he abandons you at midnight, again.
scream your panties by @opaljm s a
↳ As your midterms have ended and Halloween has arrived, you are looking forward to a pleasant time relaxing and enjoying the festivities at your sorority and Jimin’s frat houses. Luck is not in your favor, though, because things keep going wrong like a trail of dominoes falling – the only upside to your slowly deteriorating day being that you get to end it with your boyfriend’s delicious self between your legs.
first snow, last kiss by @taeshobipop f s a
↳ He broke your heart four years ago; the old loving memories of your time together now tainted by pure betrayal. Yet in the haze of new snow, after returning home for the first time, the moments you had once convinced yourself were nothing but a lie, reveal themselves to be otherwise.
antifreeze by @winetae s
↳ Jimin participates in the school’s adaption of The Nutcracker for extra credit but doesn’t expect his new dance partner to a) be this bad at dancing and b) be this fucking cute
what she likes by @untaemedqueen f s
idol au husband au marriage au
only you by @personasintro f s a
↳ you’ve been always there for your best friend, even when he became a single dad
sucker by @/personasintro s a
↳ You wish you'd pay more attention to Jimin. Like, how his eyes kept changing color. How cold his skin was, too unrealistically to be natural. Or one second, he flashed you with his sharp canines and the next one he didn't have any. How much he craved for you, but not the way you thought he was.
please, lie to me by @ressjeon s a
↳ "centuries of loyalty vs. only months of fucking, how could you miscalculate?"
summer synchrony by @seokkgenie f s a
↳ childhood friends to lovers
neon seoul @readyplayerhobi f s a
↳ It the city of New Seoul, another homicide isn’t newsworthy but instead just a statistic. But when the son of the mayor is murdered in an alley in a shady part of the city? Then it’s important. You and your partner, Detective Park Jimin, are given the honour of investigating the crime. Will you find out who killed him? Or will you fail?
serendipity by @btsracket s a ao3
↳ It's serendipitous. Jimin braces for darkness but finds his light instead.
the boyfriend concept by @/kpopfanfictrash s
↳ Win a Date with a Porn Star! You saw the sign when you walked in, of course, but you had no idea your friend dropped your name into the raffle. Fast-forward to later that day, when you actually win. You are horrified, of course, with no intention of accepting and setting yourself up for embarrassment. But then you meet Jimin, and decide this might be worth a shot.
Lovely Demons by @/kpopfanfictrash s a
↳ As penance for a crime committed long, long ago, the Witch Council banished you to the feared Tholoss forest. Your sentence was one hundred thousand days of solitude – or death, whichever came first. Your only hope of salvation comes from the demon names routinely sent your way; creatures who escape the inner circles of Hell and pose a threat to the mortal realms. For each demon you kill, days are removed from your sentence. For years you’ve existed, biding your time, until one morning you receive a name which throws your entire world into chaos: the name of Park Jimin, High Prince of Hell himself.
blue blood by @joonbird s a
↳ “Prince Jimin was born with blue blood. His coronation is rapidly approaching, but there are two requirements he must fulfil before becoming a king. He must have the skills to fight in battle, and he must have a Queen with blood as blue as his. You, a member of the royal guard, are assigned to teach Jimin the ins and outs of combat. You are not scared of death, of blood, or of battle. What you are scared of however, is falling in love with Jimin, the one man your blood decrees you can never have.”
i want to be with you by @oddinary4bts f s a
↳ moving to Seoul has always seemed like a good idea, until the bubble bursts when you realize your new neighbor is Park Jimin, and he's not the sweet angel you've always imagined him to be. Will the reality of Park Jimin forever be a nightmare, or will he turn into a sweet dream?
locked in love by @parkmuse f s a
↳ Getting locked in the mall on Christmas eve isn’t ideal, but getting locked in the mall with your brothers best friend that you haven’t seen in a while? Well, it might have been alright if you didn’t have feelings for him.
peaches and cream by @snackhobi s
↳ you wouldn’t mind your cute neighbour being such a shameless fuckboy if a) the walls weren’t so thin and b) he didn’t seem intent on adding you as another notch in his bedpost.
reset by @/dovechim s
↳ We are made of the pieces of what we remember, and we hold in ourselves the hopes and fears of those who love us. As long as there are memories to call our own, there can be no true loss. But Park Jimin has no such privilege.
the dark side of the moon by @/dovechim s
↳ falling in love at first sight is cliche, not until it happens to you on a dark night in a lonely alley. but you’re only human, while Park Jimin is Alpha of his pack; it could never work out. so you resort to pining for him like a wolf howling at the moon, but when Jimin goes feral, that’s when everything changes.
Unconditionally by @kstopping s a
↳ Jimin constantly torments you. But you love it.
Instinct by @evangelene f a
↳ A lost child appears into your life only to bring you closer Jimin–a man that you’d thought you’d hated once upon a time. Now all you want is to be there for the child, and maybe his father–but only if his mother gets the hell out of the way.
eternal sunlight by @kidguk f s a
↳ “college and soulmate au where the first words your soulmate will say to you are tattooed on your wrist. jimin thinks he met his soulmate exactly four months after he met and fell in love with you. you can’t explain your attraction or your feelings toward him, even though technically you’re meant to be with other people. taehyung and jungkook helpfully suggest that the universe might be glitching.”
foul play by @kimvtae f s a
↳ Everyone loves a good rivalry, and the students at your university are no exception. Unluckily for you, the rivalry of the decade is between yourself and a furiously irritating Park Jimin. A top gymnast and a basketball star shouldn’t cross paths, but Jimin makes his way into your heart before you can put a stop to it.
lost and found by @/kimvtae s a
↳ The only thing bigger than Park Jimin’s ass is his ego. After one too many scandals, after one too many mornings stumbling back to the dorms drunk or ruining the reputations of other idols, Jimin is given an ultimatum: complete a rehabilitation program in America or leave Bangtan.
if we were a movie by @/kimvtae f s a
↳ Friends with benefits never worked in the movies, but you and Jimin had been friends for so long, it was bound to work for you. Until, of course, Jimin gets a girlfriend, and you fear you may lose your friendship with him for good.
the pull of the tides by @goldenscript f s
↳ The expanse of the deep blue sea has always drawn you in. Each ebb and flow of the tides never ceasing to take your breath away. And now, a boy with hair as light as the morning sun and a smile just as bright does too.
hard to say by @floralseokjin f s a
↳you've had feelings for your best friend Jimin for as long as you can remember, but you always thought they were unreciprocated. What if it turned out they weren’t...?
↬looking for pjm library or the other members check out my library
#kiki's recs#moon's recs#kiki!fic!rec#jimin#park jimin#park jimin x reader#park jimin fic recs#jimin fanfic#jimin fanfiction#bts fanfction#jimin fluff#jimin angst#jimin smut#jimin x reader#jimin series#jimin oneshot#jimin:fluff#jimin:smut#jimin:angst#jimin:oneshot#jimin:series#favourites!pjm#jimin drabble#jimin bts#jimin fic#bts jimin#jimin fic recs
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Boy!pussy Han Jisung hard thoughts
Mdni, i’m not using warnings to surprise the people above the age of 18, don’t interact, it’s smut.
©️Do not translate, re-post or copy & paste any of my work, it is strictly forbidden for ALL writing i post unless told otherwise.
main masterlist here
Boy!pussy jisung who cant help bit wear thee tiniest skirts while at home, the colour always matching his panties. Nothing stops sungie from purposely bending over in front of you, slightly exposing his pracht ass & your favourite thong, your thong, as he wears it on himself.
Hasnt got a single dom bone in his body when it comes to you.. just LOOK AT YOU, how could anyone not melt.
Obviously loves being bratty & won’t stop until you’ve got him sinking down onto the ridged alien dildo you caught him unboxing, all giddy. (you made him use it on you when you seen it, of course.)
There’s almost nothing better that he can possibly think of than you resting your sopping cunt onto his face, using him to get off. He whines more than you do & his lege shake instantly as you reach down & give his clit some friction by tugging on his panties, rubbing against it causing him to accidentally nibble your own clit too hard, causing you to punish him by finishing yourself off, only letting him watch, not letting him touch himself.
Has such a huge kink for your fingers, especially when groping him. Palm his cunt, pinch his nipples, wrap them around his throat, he does.not.care. As long as they’re making contact with him, he can die happy.
When he’s been a good boy, you reward him well. Pulling out all his favourite toys, those being; clit suckers, realistic feeling vibrators that you can slide into his cunt, hitting his G-spot with ease, monster/ hentai dildos too, but not too thick(poor bubs can’t take those yet)
whines SO MUCH but who’s surprised.. will quite literally squeal, shriek & scream as you suckle on his bundle of nerves while you’re also moaning into his cunt, about to orgasm from the grinding you’re doing against a pillow beneath your waist & pussy. Your whines push him even closer to the edge but of course he doesn’t weave his hands through your hair.. not out of choice but because you had already handcuffed them to one another, weaving it through the cute middle part of the lacey bra he’s wearing, making it impossible for him to move them unless he takes the bra off, which of course, he can’t.
When you’re both wanting to be soft with one another, tribbing is the way to go. You both don’t care who’s the top & who’s the bottom, It just happens naturally as you are both rolling around, grinding helplessly into each others thighs as you swap spit. As much as Jisung loves receiving, he loves giving even more. He loves being on top of you, pussies grinding against each others & also against each others thighs, leaving slick on one another & also swapping it. He loves to see your reddened face, hair sticking to your forehead as you let out small, cute whimpers, which eggs him on even more. will twiddle with your nipples in his slim fingers as you come undone, eyes rolling back as your hips start spasming, He would kill to be able to contort his body enough to be able to kiss & lick your nipples as your swollen clits clash together but he sadly can’t so instead resorts to letting globs of spit hit directly against them, you hissing in response, tightening your already iron grip on his tiny waist, helping him with his movements against you.
You both can’t help but share underwear. It started off as an accident, simply putting on a pair, not realising it belongs to the other seeing since you see one another’s panties so often. After a few times of you realising, you began doing it on purpose, wearing loose & short sleep shorts as you do mundane tasks around your apartment, purposely angling yourself so that he can see his panties, covering your core, through the baggy leg opening of your shorts. A minute later he’s pouting, giving you his oh so cute boba eyes as he is now pressed against you, chest to chest as he begins twiddling with the drawstrings, simply waiting for you to give in & give him permission, which you obviously do, who would ever decline that.
You both like to experiment with different strap on’s, all different lengths, thickness & shapes & don’t think you both don’t feel amazing while it’s happening, doesn’t matter who’s the top & whos the bottom, you both definitely orgasm multiple times but you both can’t help but feel a bit disconnected, both of you craving full contact while doing something so intimate, so you both tend to not really think of it as a ‘go to’ but you both still do rest tempt it every once in a while, seeing if the feelings change. If it’s missionary though, you both do enjoy it a lot more. Sucking on each others necks, leaving marks for everyone to see is both of your guys ultimate kinks, always making sure the marks are purple & red, never letting them heal enough before sucking new ones into the skin.
When he is feeling bratty, you ‘punish’ him by nibbling harder than usual on his little button, overstimulating him within a few minutes.. the poor pain slut he is. You definitely like to overstimulate him rather than edge, you can’t help but get so flustered as you see the tears in his eyes & staining his cheeks as his hands are trying to swat you away, making your fingers speed up even more as you give him a small giggle, not even thinking about pausing. By the end of it, His poor peachy ass is completely red, cheeks are stained, knuckles are all red & white from the constant clenching he has been doing against the duvet, his cunt over twice the size, a puddle of wetness against the same duvet as you made him cum as many times as possible before you finally decide to give him a break.
Can’t help but slither his hand around your neck as he kisses you, full of tongue & spit. you always let out a small gasp into his lips which he always blushes at, knowing he is the only one able to make you react this way, a puddle of wetness forming in not only your underwear but his too.
Things Boy!Pussy Han would say:
“y/nnie.. p-s-so big” He whines as his newest dildo he just purchased stretches him out as you watch, jaw agape at one of the hottest sights you think you’ve ever seen.
“k-kiss me, now” He hushes out as you both look into each others eyes as you’re fucking into him with your newest strap on, his legs against your waist, noses almost touching.
“t-too- slow d-down please, g-gna cum!” He squeals as he is trying to hold back tears, bottom lip a complete different colour to the top one as he tries to hold back his whines, trying to steady himself & not squirt all over your fingers… again.
“so beautiful, my y/nnie baby, taste so good, wanna die here”he muffles in between your thighs, slurping away at everything you have to offer.
“wha’cha gonna do about it hm? you were busy so i took it apon myself to cum until you interrupted me.” he snarks at you, frowning slightly at you as he was using your pillow to grind against, it got a big dark patch beneath him.
i’m pretty sure i hate this but i still have the urge to post it LMAO
Got my inspo for this off of my SUB!SKZ ENTHUSIAST @jilixthinker
#skz smut#stray kids#han jisung#skz jisung#stray kids jisung#jisung imagines#jisung smut#jisung x reader#jisung x you#skz imagines#skz scenarios#changbin#hyunjin#jeongin#seungmin#bang chan#felix#lee know#stray kids smut#straykids hard thoughts
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oh my sweet Gale
I will admit, the very first run through of this game i found Gale annoying, pushy, dumped trauma everywhere, narcissistic in his knowledge of magic, and the need to prove how right his in in the subject. I often found myself thinking and saying out loud "omg shut up"..... buuuuut... having romanced him...... i found that his personality traits are the exact same as someone born as a child prodigy, had his ego inflated, alienated by everyone around him, and made to think he was superior by someone higher up just to then land on his ass.
I wont go through what i think of his character development because each play through is different, and for each player its different... but this is what i think of him over all.
Gale doesn't know how to talk to people. He doesn't have social queues that almost everyone else picks up on. Gale has spent, up till the tadpole, the exception in a lot of the situations he was put into and thus it became his default personality. Yes, for those of us who have romanced him (keeps romancing him) we see someone haunted by their past choices and watch him grow. We see the nerd that he is, but this is more about the potential Gale before we meet him. So bare with me.
He was a child prodigy and put into a prestigious school where he flourished. I can only image how his professors loved him and his fellow students less than enthusiastic response. You know what happens when you become the teachers pet? You become ostracized by your fellow peers. You know what happens when you are really good at something that usually takes A LOT of practice for others? You either get used or don't make friends. Gale has had ONE story that involved other people and it didn't involve friends, he was at a bar and defused a brawl with ale. He has openly admitted to Tara being his only real friend.
Now this isn't to say Gale never had to work at his magic or arcane knowledge to get him to where he is in the game when he first meet him. He was an archmage and the chosen of Mystera, but his innate ability to wield it as a young boy is what got Mystera's attention. Gale has stated that she was his teacher first, then his muse and finally his lover. You can only imagine how special he felt when Mystera chose him to be his guiding hand..... and then to be a lover? I don't care who you are..... That shit would have to inflate your ego. That shit would make you feel like you were SOOO much better than your fellow peers. You would have those toxic thoughts and comments of "yeah, well Mystera chose me! So who needs friends/criticism/physical lovers/ect". What do you typically do when you catch the attention of someone you highly regard? You try to impress them and do what you can to be even more impressive! So Gale's ambition grew to newer heights. I cant imagine what Mystera poisoned his mind with while they were together. Like, i get she told him to just be content with the things were.... but come on Mystera... you couldn't have expected him to stop striving to be better with a simple "nah, you're cool how you are. you don't need to be my equal". Not when the poor man has spent the last 2 decades of his life striving to be the best. His most important years for growth and development have been spent on trying to impress others.
Gale learns of a way to possibly convince Mystera to allow him into her domain and it gets a carnivorous orb shoved into his chest, dumped, stripped of his titles and holed up in his tower without nary a reason why. That had to be the biggest blow he has ever received in his entire life. His act of what he believed to be a sure fire way into getting what he wanted ended up taking almost everything away from him. If it wasn't for Tara, i'm sure Waterdeep would have succumbed his to orbs blight. The man locked himself in his tower and turned away all his colleagues and family.
So imagine, you are this lonely person... squirreled away from others and any social interaction. No one to talk to except your pet *sorry Tara* and all of a sudden you find yourself on a ship.... with a parasite in your brain and then your thrust into an adventure with a bunch of strangers. You have this orb in your chest that could blow at any time and you cant really explain WHY you need magical items.... but that if you don't get them.... everyone is in trouble.... you find your group facing monsters and doing weird ass side quests.... and at any given opportunity, you like to drop a knowledge bomb on the group.... just to find that some of the group members don't like your input... or don't listen at all.. which doesn't sit well with you. You've been told how right you are for like... 20 years... You haven't been given many acts of kindness since becoming an adult, what with your abrasive "im more knowledgeable in everything and i've slept with a goddess" personality, so when you see your fearless leader doing something nice, you approve. You grown to trust this leader enough to tell them the truth.... knowing full well they may turn on you, but they don't! You continue to watch them, and share moments of magic with them, you fight along side them, and what is this? Are you starting to develop feelings for them? Are they reciprocating these feelings?
He gets a death sentence slapped on his back and these new budding feelings he has for you need to be made known. What better way than to show you how much you mean to him than to literally paint the sky in the weave for you. To take away the Shadow-lands curse and SHOW you something better. He thinks 'the most perfect night would have to be some place im comfortable and vulnerable.... so that i can SHOW them. This is me, Gale. This is my whole world and at the center of it, my very heart'. he is literally showing you who he is. he is this studious... lonely man.. who sits in front of his fire place reading and researching... or out on his terrace watching the sunset with a book. Like, do you accept this version of me that you have not seen yet? *Not to mention the weave/ astral projected 3 gale gang bang you get while spinning through the cosmos. He is such a show off... or he just isnt confident in his own physical/ mortal ability to woo and wow*
To watch Gale throughout my few play throughs grow as a person and learn that having to much ambition can oft lead to ruin... and watch him change to just be content with himself as he is... i get a lot of comfort from it. I haven't gone down the God route yet, nor have i tried to make him more villainous, but who knows lol.
I have a lot thoughts on pre-tadpoled Gale and how his life up to that point made him who he is when we are first introduced to him. Gale is definitely my comfort character.
Sorry for the rant... or maybe im not. Once again... these are my thoughts from my multiple play throughs.
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i talked about why i find the argument people love to use as an excuse as to why shiekah tech is all gone in totk that "they destroyed it bc they were afraid of it" dumb before many times so i wont go over my past points in detail again
- i was just reminded of that and thought of new points to rant about going from that, no evil intentions in mind just when sth is mentioned again after some time i think about it again and can come up with more stuff-
(past points being- how?? shiekah tech seemed pretty indestructable, especialyl the big structures; it seemed like it was a literal holy thing for alot of people in the game; that it would be pretty damn stupid to spend so much energy and probably endanger people to dismanlte it since that time and energy would be better used rebuilding important infrastrucutre instead; if it stopped working why wouldnt you just kinda .. leave it there; why in hells name would you get rid of the shrine of life .. and i guess monk miz kyoshia with it???; shouldnt they be MORE afraid of sonau tech then??)
new thoughts
wouldnt it be logical to research and develope shiekah tech MORE so you can make sure it cant get corrupted again, like a security measure idk anti virus if you will lol
on the specific idea of zelda using it ... shouldnt she be the BEST person to use it bc she could, if it somehow got corrupted again, cleanse it/instantly deactivate it more easily than anyone else??
on the point of people not beign afraid of sonau tech ... that is still like the biggest problem for me with that argument bc .. i get beign afraid of shiekah stuff going haywire again, but then if suddendly alien tech from a literally fully unknown group of people started to appear out of nowhere at the sAME TIME AS MALICE COMES BACK BUT WORSE in the form of miasma shoudlnt that ring your alarm bells and make you flee for your life?? i wouldnt trust that shit after knowing what happened to the tech that we DID know shit about
i know theres like researchers for it but also they really all meddle and play with it immediately like its for them just as much a toy as it is for us the players (also a point that made me feel weird about it ngl), they build businesses around it, made minigames out of it with civilians, use it for transportation with no thought or concern about it, its really weird when this is supposedly takign palce after BOTW where FAMOUSLY ancient barely reasaearched tech got corrupted by evil goo and nearly destroyed the entire land of hyrule
(man are they LUCKY gan suddendly has zero interest in ANY tech)
(and i know theres the possibilty that sonau tech is somehow not able to be corrupted but it just seems so dumb anyway bc the people cant KNOW that for sure right of the bat??? and it DOES get possessed with the broken construct too, like .. wouldnt the possibility alone .. esepcialyl with waht had happened in botw make you NOT want to use that alien tech like a toy?? especially with WORSE malice being around suddendly too?? that just smells like a recipy for disaster)
(... man totk realyl is just botw but worse ... the more i think about it the more it feels like that)
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#totk#ganondoodles rants#shiekah tech BUT MORE ANCIENT AND COOLER#ancient gone people BUT COOLER AND MORE ANCIENT#malice BUT COOLER AND MORE DANGEROUS#the champions BUT COOLER AND MORE MAGICAL MCGUFFINY#zelda rescue BUT WORSE BC SHES A FARMABLE GLORIFIED STONE PEDESTAL NOW#shrines again BUT SONAU THIS TIME WEE#tragic loss of family and friends but of COOLER FAMILY AND FRIENDS#zelda character dev- .. oh wait nvm that got undone entirely#.. also how zelda gets the role of the stone pedestal while rauru gets the role of keeping gan in check#talk about downgrade
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I care about ur Bevin headcannon I would love to hear
YES i finally get to yell abt these two, its my fav ship in the series idk why people arent more into it. Fanart is supplied as usual and i have some evidence-ey screenshots under the cut, mostly bc i want to share them w SOMEONE other than my friend blue. Enjoy my ramblings
-kevin is dating both ben and gwen, gwen and his relationship being a lot more outward and public and ben a more private relationship, they only ever kiss or hold hands when its just the two of them or (rarely) when gwen is around, partially bc of bens fame and his own hangups about liking men and partially bc when they are romantic they r extremely vulnerable with each other and thats the sort of thing they wouldnt want anyone else to see.
-(quoting from a discord dm w my friend) ben and kevin violence is something that if u saw it in a painting or a movie it would be rly profound and aweinspiring. in real life its also the same, but it feels so much like intruding when ur actually watchingbc kevin and ben have all their emotions about each other in v short bursts, theyll bottle them up 4 an extended period of time and then have som e massive cataclysmic event when it bubbles to the surface. there r literally no continual emotional moments between them like kevin and gwen who have contunious small emotions abt each other, kevin and ben will hang out 4 months at a time and then one day just start hitting each other, which is in a way a part of the romance
-in omniverse theres a scene where its shown that 12 year old kevin is in possession of a photo of ben that is suspiciously well worn, it has rips and stains and has been crumpled up and refolded a couple times. I like to think he kept that photo, whether to use as a beacon of hate or chew on and cry who knows.
-ben and kevin dont give a shit about what form the other takes, the only time ben has ever blushed about a guy is when mutant kevin grabbed him in the rooters arc and kevin is around alien versions of ben every day and doesnt bat an eye. This is why i think that once kevin and ben get together kevin makes a game about kissing all of his aliens (indiscriminatley. Even if they dont have mouths) he makes a scoring system and writes reviews on how good the experience was in glitter gel pen and makes a ranking list of his favorites. Stinkfly sweeps the vote, shocking everybody. Ben would rank kissing kevins mutations but only 2 out of 5 would even consider it before turning him into pink mist so he just sticks with what he knows.
- ben and kevin get married when theyre older and gwen stays in girlfriend status (mostly bc she knows that ben has a much shorter lifespan than her and kevin and she wants to give him the happiest time she can while hes still there) and they all live in a mansion the size of the white house. Kai comes by once a month to keep kenny happy (he still thinks shes his bio mom even after theyve told him multiple times she was just a donor. Gwen says he gets his delusions from ben). Ben and kevin like to sit on the 500 foot long porch and throw rocks at passerby and snuggle. Kevin is so happy he giggles mindlessly to himself in public, scaring strangers. He tries to get them to look at pictures of his family but this only further creeps them out.
-kevin finds the most random shit ben does extremely charming. hed look at him picking his boogers and eating them and he thinks in his head i need this guy so much. ben finishes a rubix cube not even very fast and kevins like wow. cool. do you like emos.ben is charmed by kevin in the same way. he sees kevin use the toilet brush to scratch an itch on his back and hes like fuck oh fuck oh fuck
I have more i prommy i just cant think of them rn, i will make more if im able. 4 now please have my collection of bevin screenshots under the cut. Spread the word my disciples. fair warning there are a lot
#ben 10#ben tennyson#ben 10 omniverse#ben 10 alien force#kevin levin#ben 10 ultimate alien#ben 10 classic#ben 10 uaf#ben ten#bevin#ben 10 headcannon
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Miscellaneous OPM Characters as Lady Gaga Songs
please read this oh my god I spent so much time... there's some meta scattered in there I promise.
Fubuki
Telephone
Bloody Mary
Eh Eh (Nothing Else I Can Say)
Telephone - because I watched an Instagram edit that used it and now I have it permanently associated with her. Fubuki has a fun and glamourous aesthetic and I feel like the song reflects that too
Bloody Mary - because of the "I wont crucify the things you do" line. it reminds me of all the people she knows that are like. highly problematic but she's irremovably tied into their lives and ultimately accepts them.
Eh Eh (Nothing Else I Can Say) - there are relationships she's had that fell tragically because of, while among other things, her own personal flaws and ego. It's tragic, but she really wasn't equipped to handle everything thrown at her at the time. there really is "nothing else [she] can say" anymore. Imagining her with this song puts a lighthearted twist on the woe of it.
Psykos
Summerboy
So Happy I Could Die
Teeth
MANiCURE
Summerboy - I like to imagine it as Psykos having the summerboy's POV. Feeling disposable and like she got played by Fubuki, she is left to sort of sourly reminisce on what could've been.
So Happy I Could Die - for that INTENSE SAPPHIC ANGST. Also I like the concept of like. attempting to use sexuality to cope with severe internal turmoil. I love this song sooo much.
Teeth - vibes I guess
MANiCURE - "SHE WANNA BE MAN CURED!" so basically more sapphic stuff but campier and less gut wrenching this time lol.
Genos
(... god I initially struggled finding stuff for him HARD but ended up with 4 things. what.)
Replay
I Like It Rough
Shallow
Paparazzi (bonus)
Replay - Lady Gaga is talking about trauma and PTSD taking over and effecting every part of her life, which I feel like is relevant.
"Every single day, yeah I dig a grave
Then I sit inside it wondering if I'll behave"
I Like It Rough - I've always interpreted this song as only ever experiencing harshness from people, not knowing how process kindness, and struggling to decipher sincerity. Which I feel like, removed from all the sex stuff, fits Genos pretty well thematically.
Shallow - I don't really mean this in a ship way here (to be honest, one sided genos pining is my ideal! But that's not relevant here) but I can think of this song with Genos and Saitama's relationship and how at its core, One Punch Man revolves around them. They represent the central themes of companionship and how humanity is based on relationships with others. They try to "fill that void" with each other and Genos looks at Saitama worried, when will it be enough? (When will HE be enough?)
Also I enjoy listening to songs where there is some form of disappearance or death and imagining the MA arc.
I did that a tonnn with Sweet Talking Woman by ELO a while back, something about mixing the love song about chasing someone with the tragedy of the MA arc and how Genos became unattainable really clicked for me. (Fun fact, I had 182 listens for that song on my Spotify wrapped... pretty much all thinking of Genos) I'm supposed to be talking about Lady Gaga though oops.
"Crash through the surface, where they cant hurt us
We're far from the shallow now."
They've experienced the same alienation, whether inflicted or self imposed and were able to drag each other out of it. Perhaps there's comfort in the similarity.
Paparazzi (bonus lol) - If you enjoy leaning into Genos's weird obsession, this is the song for you! He's a little neurotic...
Flashy Flash and Sonic
I'm giving them the same song
Speechless
Speechless
"In your tight jeans
With your long hair and your cigarette stained lies
Could we fix you if you broke?
And is your punch line just a joke?"
I connect it by thinking about how much weight their relationship held in their lives. Each of their dreams had the other in it. And I think that losing that was a bit worldshattering.
"Would you give it all up
If I promise, boy, to you?"
Eyyyy we were left on a bit of a cliffhanger right? Flash was trying to ask sonic something but got cut off by the other ninjas. "We could-" we could what, Flash? we. could. what. (Team up again? Please I'm literally on my hands and knees begging, yet I know it's never that easy with OPM)
Amai Mask
Beautiful, Dirty Rich
The Fame
Beautiful, Dirty Rich - It's about fame! Living the high life! He's like a major celebrity and a diva so I think it works. Just ignore the bit where it says "but we've got no money" because he definitely has money.
The Fame - similar thought process
Webigaza
Applause
Applause - She "lives for the applause!" The fame itself is empty without her fans.
Do-S (aka BONUS! other songs I like but had zero use for)
Love Game
Money Honey
Bad Romance
Poker Face
Government Hooker
Judas
not sexual enough for Do-S but I really like Americano too.
okay I'm done with these now I'm literally going insane
#opm#one punch man#opm meta#fubuki#psykos#genos#flashy flash#sonic opm#only tagging the more relevant characters lol#i listened to way too much lady gaga for this in the last 3 hours#i may have gotten in the top 0.05% for her in the wrapped this year but. imgonna die
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i also wish people would be more receptive to relationship speculation, at the very least. there were so many moments in fionna and cake where simon and fionna’s interactions had me raising my eyebrows and thinking “wow, what’s up with this chemistry rn?” but i know posting about it to see if others also noticed would get me dogpiled lol. glad i’m not the only one entertaining the ship and its implications to/for the characters it encompasses.
also winter king/simon is intriguing as well, if only in a weird homestuck self-shipping (dave and davesprite anyone?) kind of way where both characters get to have major epiphanies bc they’re basically looking into a mirror (may be more of a funhouse mirror for winter king/simon but still works lol)
i do not ship any of these pairings, please dont take this post from a shipping perspective
i apologize in advanced if this post is said messy. its given an opening to many things ive been thinking about since the start of the show and i know i wanna come back to it in case any new developments were to happen at the final season 1 episodes
tldr; Kai Talks About how much i Love Very Messed Up Pairings, not because i want them to actually be together, but because i am NOT the type to ignore Seeds That Have been Planted in canon so i will Grow Horrible Realizations i've been having out of them
YEAH NO BECAUSE I LIKE. I JUST WANNA POINT OUT WHAT'S CANON OKAY!! i think this post is like. the only one ive seen that Has Pointed out The Adventure Time Ice King/Fionna dynamic in the lenses of the Simon we have today....and even then thats just a joke post :")
because like. okay. i need people to think about this for a second: yes, ice king didn't Come With with Fionna and Cake's existence, but why in the world would he Choose to be responsible for writing it? for bringing their stories to life and showing off a world that's been living in his head?
i genuinely think people don't really like the ugly side of how badly loneliness has mutated Ice King's way of thinking (i mean for gods sake the guy tries to kiss/get with anyone, mf cant even recognize the person he claims to be falling in love with).
that, yeah. of course if he had a World Living inside his brain that felt so Real to him that he CONSTANTLY wished for it to not only but true, but one that would be close to him!! one that would welcome him!!!!
no matter what itd be, romantic, platonic, To the point of Worship....like ANYTHING that would bring him closer to genuine Connection in his alienating experience.
NOTABLY for fionna The Human!!! the human that parallels a real life actual kid that mostly has kicked Ice King's ass to eventually treating him like a Poor confused Old Lost Guy.
still, i need to stress the kind of dynamic finn and the ice king have is NOWHERE near the kind of dynamic fionna and ice king have (and even with simon developments included).
. ...except this time around, even when he does have his own parallel Ice Queen existing manifesting the Must Needed Rival for their universe to make sense, mutating her character into something that to make her more Vicious/Violent, making Ice King seem Nicer In Comparison
and dare i say that, yeah...! some of that HAS been carried onto modern day Fionna!! who CANONICALLY has romantic feelings towards ice prince and the winter king, parallels to ice king/simon himself!
just. sorry but i NEED both Simon and Fionna to like. Read Those Stories. I Need them to revisit the VERY specific stories that Ice King felt the need to tell in the first place, his and other people in their lives' inclusions. it would not only reinforce Simon's Influence in the world Period, something that he found himself doubting on
...but also I NEEEEEEDDD to see that can of worms opened. i NEED for Fionna to see for herself the people SHE'S supposed to be representing. i NEED for her to see what kind of void she's been filling in Ice King/Simon's time of existence. i NEED for her to see how big the Obsession GOT, how badly Ice King needed that outlet of escapism (and how much Simon still returns to it in the present day)
^ this moment has been living in my brain ever since the announcement of the Fionna and Cake series
that Fionna's fixation on the ice prince, her life, her..everything in general, is more or less a Weird Reflection of the lives of People living Greater Lives than she ever believed to have lived, combined with how said proclaimed experiences of Magic have only been recorded by a guy who Inserted Himself in a world she doesnt even recall living in
Im surprised that. hasnt been so Stressed yet in show. im prepared to eat my words if they DO come back to it. but for the time being i really wish Fionna found out how desperate Simon/Ice King was for someone to acknowledge and Desire His Existence,
to a degree that would be absolutely humiliating/weird to uncover but Necessary to come back to in order to truly understand the Scope of what 1000+ years of Madness through Ostracization (from others and eventually the Self) Does to a MF
__________
AS OF FOR MY THOUGHTS ON THE WINTER KING, he alas only truly an episode to explore. but the thoughts still exist nonetheless!!!
for the most part i can only truly indulge in it out of pure hilarity for its existence, while acknowledging how much im so thankful that winter king was characterized as he was n didnt overstay his welcome, as i didnt find him necessary to stay in the narrative .
there's a lot of feelings i have about simon/ice king's perception of himself alone, and how most of it is Either Negative or Overcompensation Due to his own self negativity.
which makes me curious on what could come of a Better Version of Himself, looking at the version of himself that has "failed" to conquer the crown the way he has, but contemplated on pursuing romantically, even for a brief moment
honestly, i dont blame people for being invested in this pairing (in comparison to fionna/simon, where i cannot myself entertain it even as a joke unlike this one).
it makes me curious on what the Winter King's definition of romance is in comparison to Simon's. what could even be desirable, possibly, in the eye's of the Winter King?
Does the love of someone you'll go mad over truly make you a Better Person Or Worse? Simon and Winter King existing in the same room together brings up so many questions and possible ways to explore Simon's character.
wayyyyyyyyyy less of a "this can be simon's way of practicing self love" thing and MUCH more of a "These Guys Kissing each other would be the equivalent of the Narcissus Tale but with a Distorted Reflection that only Represents You because the reflection Demands That of you"
#fionna and cake#adventure time#long post#text heavy#simon petrikov#the winter king#fionna campbell#i WILL delete this though genuinely if people start to get weird in my notes#but otherwise i genuinely would be very welcome to more CIVIL. discussion about this
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other anon is right djats show>>>>>>>>> the book. like riley and sam. that's it. period. cause the entire book is just billy lying and downplaying his relationship with daisy so you spend 90% of it thinking he's full of shit and having to read inbetween the lines of what really went down with him and daisy since most of their relationship is allegedly them barely speaking or interacting except on stage. camila also deified to an annoyingly unrealistic degree so thank god we have the show to be like "nah this is what actually happened. daisybilly kissing. daisybilly falling in love. daisybilly sneaking out for lunch dates. daisybilly crossword puzzle love confessions. daisybilly backstage hookups" as far am i'm concerned the show is what really happened and the book was just the story the band wanted to tell 😂
I feel like one of the big issues with book stans / Camila Stans is they read the book and thought that Billy choosing Camila meant that he loved her more when that was never the case. Billy chose stability because of his past. So when you see that on the show it looks like Camila got the raw end of the deal when that’s always what Camila represented they just finally understand that him picking Camila doesn’t mean he loves her more. I mean they spelt it out in the book.“Passion is...it's fire. And fire is great, man. But we're made of water. Water is how we keep living. Water is what we need to survive. My family was my water. I picked water.” I do think Billy convinced himself over time that he did choose to love Camila more but the fact remains that Camila was a choice. That’s what you get from him in the books and in the last episode with Julia but Daisy was never a choice. Daisy was someone he couldn’t help but be drawn to and feel something so deeply for that he risk ruining his hard fought stability for “How could I be around Daisy Jones and not be mesmerized by her? Not fall in love with her. I couldn't. I just couldn't.”
its absolutely wild how book purists are sooo mad about the daisy and camilla hotel scene being taken out of the book/reworked into a different type of conversation, but when I finally decided to go look it up for myself it didn't give me woman supporting woman feminist vibes like people claim. like its not woman destroying woman either it just feels neutral. cami really tells daisy "he will never leave me" and daisy only gets clean because camila is the one to tell her that she should. IDK MAN i think its more powerful in the show where its daisy being self aware enough to tell cami "he will always choose you!" and for daisy to be the one to realize she needs to get clean because this life is really bad for her. not because, 'camila dunne thinks I'm worth saving' LIKE HELLO?? the book seems like it makes cami out to be this perfect angel woman. WHERE'S HER FEMININE RAGE!! HER MAN IS DEEP IN LOVE WITH SOME OTHER WOMAN AND CANT EVEN ADMIT!! i think she deserved to be mad as hell instead of whatever saintlike behavior she exhibits in the book. sorry I just needed someone to listen to my rant about the scene that so many people keep calling Emotional and Powerful when really cami deserved to be mad as hell and daisy deserved to be an active participant in her own life.
It's kinda crazy to me that Camila is the one in the book that basically tells Daisy to leave and quit the band to go to rehab. They don't even interact that much prior to this, and I always hated that part in the book. On 1 hand we know daisy is leaving a toxic situation, but we don't get the feeling that she'll be OK. If anything we feel that she's alone, and because( and this is how it felt to me ) that the band chose Cami over her. Cami is described like this virgin mary can do no wrong character, and her alienating daisy from the band just felt nasty( especially considering the band never had Camis back ). I love that in the show they gave Daisy that power, along with the fact that both Teddy and Simone are still clearly there for her and supportive of her choice( also showing Warren there for her too later on ) Like I don't understand why people wanted them to be friends so bad 😫 it's weird for the wife and the mistress to be friends, especially given how Daisily were in the show...
The ending didn’t work in the books either imo. In the books Camila tells Daisy I know he loves you but he’s never going to leave me. Like girllll you know your man is in love with another woman snd you just okay with that? She was entirely too accepting at least in the show she’s wasn’t okay with and was rightfully hurt & angry but then again Camila as a character was kinda bleh. Every time Billy talked about her I just rolled my eyes because he was overcompensating so hard.
I think the funniest antis are the ones that are clearly Camila Stans that claim DaisyBilly were “ruined” by the show bc they made out. That them having more physicality in their relationship some how changed the nuance. Like you can have a twin flame relationship and also be very attracted to each other. One does not take away from the other. And it’s frankly unbelievable that anyone believes that Daisy & Billy had a connection like they had and NEVER gave in not for one single second. Like please
When I tell you the show ending is so much better. And it’s not even the ending exactly it’s how they get to that ending that’s soooo much better. In the books they handed all of Billy & Daisy’s agency to Camila. In the show it felt like they all had agency and it was sooo much better.
all of u having the most book thoughts compilation
#asks#daisybilly#daisy jones and the six#again i never did read the book but ur all making points#especially the giving daisy agency point!
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and screaming crying throwing up at jack's reaction
hes so fucking sweet about it. he just accepts it. makes me sob every single fucking time. like. yeah maybe he doesn't understand it completely but he loves alex!
and then the question about the swimming hole, thats just such a fucking sibling thing to do. hysterical. so glad to know that siblings will always be little shits to each other, as seen AGAIN when jsck refuses to be out written by alex when he's working.
AND THEN THEY DRINK TO ALEX AND JOHNS UNION. THAT KILLS ME EVERY SINGLE FUCKIGN TIME LIKE. YEAH. JACK IS ACCEPTING AND CELEBRATING AND HES ONE OF LIKE THE 5 PEOPLE WHO EVEN KNOWS THEYRE IN A RELATIONSHP LET ALONE MARRIED AND ITS THE FIRST TIME ITS BEEN CELEBRATED. god i need a minite im going to sob
and then jack watches them kiss and its just people showing affection and he didnt knoe ehat he expected but its just Normal. and ughfhfhfhdhdjejd.
and then the heart breaking ness of the oh "youve told him all he needs to know" "most of it" "most of it" like kill me. i just cant. then john and alex, theyre all cuddly and cute and jack is hit with how theyre so familair and how theyve done it so much before and just gujfhfdjsjjdjsks
this series genuinely makes me ILL its so djfjdjwjdjjfjw. i cant wait to read the latest extra you published – i havent had time to get around to it yet but gjfjdjsj i have no doubt its going ti be amazing and so good i need to take breaks from reading it bc otherwise im just going to keel over because of how good the writing is.
anyway. thats my little thin ice rant for the day. your writing makes me batshit insane <3 - 🐥
YEAH. YEAH
I just. wanted someone to be nice to the boys. I like to think of Jack as an overall pretty chill guy so that reaction just kinda made sense to me (also he really can't afford to alienate the one (1) sibling he has left oop)
THANK you I was so fucking proud of that snippet lmao. older brothers will be bastards in every era <3
they do!!!!! they deserve it :(( no one has ever celebrated with them. someone just needs to be happy for these boys. please my crops are dying
that whole chapter is honestly one of my favourite things I've written for the series. showing the boys' relationship from an outsider's perspective was SO fun. Jack being so new to this but so supportive. trying to make his little brother feel at ease despite not fully understanding his relationship. the little pinch of angst because I can never let these boys rest. also. drunk Alex my sweet sweet baby boy <3333
well the latest addition is just porn so! thank you tho 🥺🥺 I love your thin ice rants <33
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thinking abt how in rex's case, the age-old question of "is it better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all?" would for once have the answer of "yes"
cause if he had been trapped on undar before tlm1, he wouldnt have suffered as much as he did
sure, he still would suffer, but he wouldnt have felt abandoned by people he held dear. cause he didnt HAVE anyone to hold dear
you cant feel abandoned and forgotten by people you dont have
but as it stands, in canon he went back to being alone like he'd been his entire life before meeting his friends. only difference is, for the first time it actually stung
so paradoxically if emmet had never met the gang, rex never would've happened - nevermind the fact that he wouldn't go out into space at all, if he DID get trapped on undar through some other means (like how rex was in the original storyboards, when he was still a random guy - the alien attack knocked him off the bricksburg table), he wouldn't have broken nearly as much - if at all. and rex specifically would have no reason to exist as a persona, cause he wouldn't have anyone to prove himself to
Hmmmm, intresting take you've got here.
See i'm going to assume you meant yes to the 'it being better to have never loved at all' part of that saying, cause that's what I'm getting from this. And all in all, I do agree.
I mean at this point it's been shown many times that the main thing that motivated Rex to try and bring about armageddon was because of his hatred towards his old friends and the way they 'betrayed' him, they way they treated him when they first met, and all of the other times after that.
I've mentioned this plenty of times in previous posts, but the betrayal Rex feels during Undar isn't just from being left there alone, it's also the pain of having the people closest to you not trust your ability to take care of yourself (or them).
Emmet is a person so full of love and happiness, he always wants to help the people around him, and this fact is made evident in the few scenes we see of Apocalypseburg where he goes around and tries to spread joy or help them, especially his friends.
And while there were some good times during those few years, it's debatable if those few instances were really worth all of the mistreatment he experienced outside of that, and then the 5 year isolation in Undar.
I still think that even without meeting Lucy, he would still develop that hatred that fuels him in Undar, it's just that this time, he doesn't have anyone there to betray him. Since he doesn't have any relationships this time round, the pain of being left behind wouldn't sting as much because he no longer has any of those people to miss.
But he's still going to want to get out of Undar and get tougher as a way to stick it to everyone who ever ignored him and become so cool that he feels much more 'powerful' than everyone else.
I guess in this timeline, he's focusing on himself more than the rage he's feeling (it's still there alright, just not as destructive as in the og timeline), he's trying to make himself unforgettable to make up for those years of conformity.
Yeah no but this is fun to think about
The angst of him turning out better after Undar because he never had any friends to be mad at is doing things to me.
(Rex my bby :( )
#emmet brickowski#rex dangervest#the lego movie#the lego movie 2#lego movie#lego movie 2#I meant to answer this earlier#just got caught up in a lot of things#It's intresting to think about how everything would go#if Emmet never ended up being the special#or if he never met Lucy#He probably wouldn't become a master builder#because he didn't have that motivation or experience#course after Undar he learns how to master breaker since he still has those negative emotions#but he just ends up learning how to do that along with master building#so he has two things#it's just that breaking is 'cooler'#saffi's asks#saffi's rambles
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I am about to infodump about why steven universe has BPD (and cptsd but thats canon)
later in the series and in SU future is when all the trauma has already happened and hes finally safe is when it manifests itself heavier. hes very people pleasing, putting other peoples needs ahead of himself, even if the other person is in the wrong, his emotions spiral so out of control that he becomes corrupted or goes "pink mode", he has identity issues (bc of constantly being told hes his mother) to the point where he cant tell if he is her, if he is himself, if hes a he, if hes a she, if hes a gem or if hes a human, good or evil, etc.
has bursts of intense anger and feelings of guilt, would go to any length to keep people in his life (connie for example) and when she rejected his proposal his symptoms spiraled out of control, which is typically what happens w bpd, its triggered, his symptoms started presenting when he hit 16 / SU future. as for the ptsd though thats actually canon, there is an episode where he visits the doctor and she doesnt directly call it ptsd but shes asking him about his trauma and how far back it stems from (and he begins recalling traumatic events starting all the way from the beginning of the series to the middle of the series before connies mom interrupts him and tells him that he p much has c-ptsd) and steven starts having intense flashbacks and then falls into an episode when he is reminded of connie rejecting his proposal, his body starts physically reacting to it as if its happening again. (which by the way the proposal was very impulsive and spontaneous and mainly based in fear of abandonment, and solidified when garnet agreed. very bpd like.)
he views small issues as life threatening, which is seen in ptsd and bpd. hes been in a constant state of trauma since childhood, never knew his mom and constantly i n peril fighting monsters he doesnt even know the origin of protecting himself from a battle his mother forced him into, bpd and ptsd are inherently traumagenic. he changes himself and overextends himself to fit other people's perception of what he should be or to fit his own idea of perfection, hes terrified of being alone and will go to any lengths to keep his loved ones around him.
when people offer him support he pushes it away because he doesnt want to burden his loved ones with his problems or intense emotions or trauma. in fact, he bottles it up SO much that he falls into an episode where he starts fixing other peoples problems to distract himself from his own, as if fixing other people will in turn fix himself, which only makes it worse and worse until he explodes. he talks about how hes worthless, how hes a bad person, how he doesnt deserve his loved ones, and then becomes corrupted when the trauma become too much for him gem to handle anymore. (Him splitting on himself after bottling his feelings up for so long)
this was only soothed when his loved ones reminded him how much he was loved and cared for. he lacked a voice his whole life and once jasper taught him to fight and defend himself and he became all big and strong his personality changed completely and he ended up becoming aggressive in the same way jasper was and literally purposely and v violently shattered her because of it (which is obviously very out of character for steven who has healing powers)
he also takes control of and attempts to shatter white diamond when he has trauma flashbacks to her almost killing him despite working through those issues previous
he has a "the grass is greener on the other side" mindset
He has bouts of uncontrollable rage because he has no form of grasp of his emotions due to alienating them.
He creates narratives sticks to them then he is unable to change these thought processes.
after shattering jasper he has an intense panic attack, thinking he is a violent killer or bad person, his guilt spirals and he makes a very desperate and emotional attempt at bringing her back.
he also takes control of and attempts to shatter white diamond when he has trauma flashbacks to her almost killing him despite working through those issues previous.
he has a "the grass is greener on the other side" mindset
He has bouts of uncontrollable rage because he has no form of grasp of his emotions due to alienating them.
He creates narratives sticks to them then he is unable to change these thought processes.
He creates a happily ever after in his mind and then when the outcome isn't perfect or what he imagined he freaks out.
he has frequent flashbacks to issues from his past and tends to block the thoughts out when they show up or dissociate himself from them, or, alternatively, he hyper-fixates on them so much that it takes over every aspect of his waking life. he also thinks in black and white a lot, with things being either all good or all bad, and becomes paranoid about other peoples intentions or the way they perceive him. he also is CONSTANTLY on edge expecting bad things to happen and prepares himself for danger that might not even come.
Also throwback to the time where he crashed the car and split on his dad when he realized his dad got the childhood he always wanted and that he was neglected, he quickly went from idealizing his dad to feeling spiteful toward him and putting their own lives in danger.
also the time when he realized all of his friends were moving on without him and subconsciously trapped them in a giant bubble that he had no control over
oh and the NIGHTMARES!!!
- sincerely, a Steven kinnie with BPD and C-PTSD. (Cross-Posted)
#steven#steven quartz universe#steven universe#steven universe future#su#suf#bpd#borderline#borderline personality disorder#cptsd#complex post traumatic stress disorder#complex ptsd#headcanon#headcanons#theory#cross posted
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thinking about clara telling 12 he made courtney feel not special and 12 at the end of the lie of the land telling bill “because in amongst seven billion, theres someone like you” and bill looking like
and 11 telling rita in the god complex "offer a child a suitcase full of sweets and they’ll take it. offer someone all of time and space and they’ll take that too. which is why you shouldnt” in that fucking self-flagellating but also proud way they do and rita says “i dont know what youre talking about but whatever it is, i have a feeling you just did it again” because they did
they know they know they know what they do and clara didnt have to tell them theyve been doing this long enough they know. and they dont like it but theyre not gonna stop doing it either which must be Great for the self-worth feelings. they have a job to do and they cant stop doing it but they also cant do it alone but also anyone they take with them will most likely get hurt or die
this is nothing new but it’s just. im thinking about the way they do it. the way they absolutely know the effect they have on people. “you make people want to impress you. you make it so they dont want to let you down”
how casually 12 throws out that line, so genuine, i 100% believe it feels true when they say stuff like that, but also bill just had a Bad 6 months. he didnt have to say this. bill asked why he puts up with humans he could say something nice about humanity as a whole, but he doesnt, he singles her out, “i put up with the rest of them because sometimes theres someone like you”. it’s sweet and i dont think it’s a lie and i dont even think it’s a conscious manipulation but like
it’s just like, a really good way to keep people with you when you make them feel like theyre at the centre of the universe like that. the universe revolves around the doctor and when youre in the eye of the storm with them youre so special. you know more than regular people, you get to know all the secrets of the universe, you get to know about aliens, you get to play hero along with them!
ROSE: I can't tell her. I can't even begin. She's never going to forgive me. And I missed a year. Was it good?
DOCTOR: Middling.
ROSE: You're so useless.
DOCTOR: Well, if it's this much trouble, are you going to stay here now?
ROSE: I don't know. I can't do that to her again, though.
DOCTOR: Well, she's not coming with us.
ROSE: No chance.
DOCTOR: I don't do families.
[...]
ROSE: My mum was right. That is one hell of an age gap. Every conversation with you just goes mental. There's no one else I can talk to. I've seen all that stuff up there, the size of it, and I can't say a word. Aliens and spaceships and things, and I'm the only person on planet Earth who knows they exist.
being the object of the doctor’s affection is i think probably a bit of a horrifying experience and not a position you really want to be in, but as long as youre still in that Comments About How Theyre Putting Up With All Of Humanity Because They Like You stage and havent yet reached the Tearing The Sky Apart For You stage, it probably feels really good (do i look susceptible to companion syndrome in this post hkfjghj)
and like i said it’s not that they dont actually love their companions. of course they do. it’s just that if youre terrified of being abandoned, making people feel special like this is a good way to make them not leave you
and i think 13 probably did her best not to do this again. she didnt invite them along to new adventures at the end of 11x1. she initiates goodbyes i think three times (”ive stayed too long, i should get back to finding my tardis”, “im almost gonna miss you”, “guess we’re done, nice having you aboard”) before the fam ask to come with her
and sure she plays the kicked puppy a bit in 11x4 but she waits for yaz to invite her, shes relatively passive, actually for the doctor shes incredibly passive. and she enjoys letting them into the tardis in 11x2, but she doesnt tease really secrets and wonders if they come travel with her. she doesnt really introduce them to the tardis, she doesnt say what the name means, she doesnt let them touch anything, nobody says “it’s bigger on the inside”, she doesnt invite them to all of time and space. she doesnt suggest it could be theirs to see. i dont think she ever does. just what the fam got to see accidentally was already enough to convince them.
i really need to rewatch so i might be wrong about this, but i dont think she ever makes them feel special the same way the doctor did with companions before. she makes them feel special like a tour guide maybe, with her little points and stars system, and calling them best friends, small mundane ways that dont show off her age or history or influence. i dont think she ever suggests theyre more important than other people. i think she emphasises her love for humans as a whole. i think thats the impression they get from her. i think thats what they would say if you asked them about her. “yeah she loves humanity. me? yeah she probably likes me, we’re friends”
she never puts them in a position where theyre the only one who can save the day/world/planet/universe. she always puts herself between them and the problem. she always goes ‘no im the doctor, thats my job’. she takes that responsibility so they dont have to. they take it! when they feel like theyre forced to! when the doctor’s gone in 12x2 or 12x10, they take that responsibility for sure. i think they want to, not just yaz but especially yaz. but they feel unprepared. the doctor hasnt prepared them for this bc she doesnt want them in that position bc in that position they die.
and clearly this has not been ideal. this has not led to an ideal doctor-companion dynamic, we’ve seen how this has hurt 13 as well as especially i think yaz and ryan deeply. but the strategy has been succesful. she lost her last two companions bc she didnt get between them and the problem. with bill literally, with clara metaphorically. (going back even further this might also be the case for amy and donna and rose. she let them into positions she should have been in taking decisions she should have taken)
and however badly things have gone for 13, the strategies of Get Between Them And The Problem, and Be The Doctor Dont Let Them Do It, have WORKED. she GOT THEM HOME. if yaz doesnt die, and im willing to bet money she doesnt, she got them all home safe and sound
14′s relationship with their companions will probably be a response to what went wrong in this round and it will have its own pitfalls that 15 then gets to fix but theyre trying, theyre learning. one step forward two steps back i guess. a fun little tango with death
#im curious to see how 14's relationship with their compainons will look#and how they introduce themself#and how the companion ends up travelling with them
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So you guys know i (try to) post daily doodles, and i have said before that i draw for about 2-3 hrs every night. BUT that also means i dont post about like 80-90% of the drawings i do each night. Today though, i've been thinking about A*I and my own relationship with drawing, and how utterly baffled i am that anyone would want to use it to like...draw for them..and how the concept that *tell a computer what art to do so i dont have to do it* is alien to me. So here's ALL the drawings i did tonight. The bottom one is the last one i did and the one i would normally post. And i want to talk about A*I without talking about good or bad end product. Because i dont care if im making the shittiest art in the universe - i still wouldn't use A*I. Not even as a ‘tool’.
If you've been around here for a while you know i have a love/hate relationship with my art. I write too, but writing doesnt make me so frustrated and angry that i want to throw my computer out a second story window. HOWEVER. There is a huge caveat to that anger.
It happens after.
You could look at it a little like hockey. Every game is fresh, right? I mean god knows the US made an entire movie about how every game is a new game and the odds could always fall in your favor no matter how stacked against you. So every drawing i go into it excited - like LOOK at that reference material, its gorgeous. The gesture is beautiful, the post is interesting, there is something about it that is just begging to be drawn. But then say you hit intermission in the hockey game and the opposing team scored a few points. And i step back and look at the drawing and realize i started to go wrong somewhere along the way. But its too late now, you gotta commit and keep going. And you do but somehow the final score is STILL 6 to 0 and thats when i want to flush all my art down the toilet and never look at it again. But its okay because the next drawing is going to start with a blank canvas and who cares what happened last time.
Ok maybe a bad example.
The product is never really what drives me to draw - i mean, sure i do like it a heck of a lot better when i have something /anything/ that i can post to show that im sticking with my everyday doodle. But its not a requirement to doodling. The process of drawing is always fun. Its when i come out of it and look at the stupid thing that im like ‘well fuck i fucked that one up again didnt i’, and THEN i get annoyed lol.
I dont sit there consumed with frustration over ‘gee i dont know what to draw’. This is never an issue. I HAVE TOO MUCH TO DRAW. Sometimes i avoid certain gifs/photos because in the back of my mind im like ‘yeah no, i havent leveled up that far yet, i cant do that justice’. But i dont want to admit the sheer number of images of geno alone i have saved. I think my biggest reference folder is still aoki and that has over two thousand screenshots - i dont think anyone will ever surpass that LOL. I have a never ending supply of practice art to be done.
The frustration comes when i have an image in my head and i want to get it down on paper so-to-speak (computer whatever). So - when im NOT using reference (or at least not an exact one) and am making an ‘illustration’ (ish). But again, the process isn't the issue. I like the act of drawing, i like the image in my head slowly taking shape, i like how vividly i can see it. Yall know how obsessed i am with personality - that's not just part of the drawing, that IS the drawing. And each deicision in the illustration is defined by the personality/character.
A computer can't fucking do this.
Could i maybe tell a computer ‘draw geno in the shower’. Sure. And it probably could. And if i didnt care about the process - if all i wanted was a very good drawing of geno in the shower....that probably would be fine. Maybe great even. Maybe it would be the best damn drawing of geno in the shower ever. And then i'd feel like shit because a machine is producing art that is more valuable to other people than mine ever will be. But holy fucking shit that ruins the entire POINT of drawing???? Why would you do that?
I mean, im sure yall can infer the entire point of the act of drawing geno in the shower. He's hot, he's wet. ANYWAY.
In my opinion, a person who wants the end product and doesn't care about the process of getting there....that person is not an artist. That person is someone who enjoys art, and probably thinks they have a lot of good ideas to make into art, but who doesn't feel that pull to make art themselves. They just want to buy art. And they want it cheap. And mindless computers being trained in seconds on the decades of creativity and hard work of art masters is a heck of a lot cheaper than a human.
And the hardest part of all this for me is how worthless this makes me feel - nobody wants you, they want that automatic button. Kinda like my dad that way (haha)
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my favourite title sequences in Fincher’s films!!! (because i can :3, and they are cool and epic)
basically in almost all of Fincher films (not 100% sure about ‘Benjamin Button’ and ‘Alien 3’, but i cant find them online and im too lazy to check lmao) he adds a title sequence/opening credits which sets the tone of the film and gives the audience kind of a taster into what the film will be!! here are the ones i think are the best!!
‘The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo’ (2011)
i fucking LOVE this title sequence and it is the best one in my opinion. first of all, Karen O, Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross’s rendition of Led Zeppelin’s ‘Immigrant Song’ is so cool and different, it really sets the tone of the film and kind of the tone for Lisbeths character. Fincher in the dvd commentary states “it’s (the song) so evocative of what i think Lisbeth is…not thinking, but you know sort of her marrow, what’s happening down deep inside her bones”
the CGI shots by Randy Sharp are stunning, Fincher describes the visuals as “what Lisbeths nightmare would look like”. but they also set up some of the main aspects of the film? such as the cables and keyboard for Lisbeth being a hacker, and the CGI people kissing representing the sexual themes of the film? i also like the font :3
‘Se7en’ (1995)
the main thing about ‘Se7en’s opening credits that i love is the use of the song ‘Closer’ by Nine Inch Nails. the song is remixed so it sounds more eery and unsettling which helps set the tone for the movie, with some of the only lyrics being audible being “you get me closer to god” at the end of the sequence, which i think mimics the religious ideas of Doe’s character.
the visual of John Doe creating his diary’s and slicing his fingerprints off add to the sequence being disturbing, and introduces the audience to the antagonist without us knowing, only when we near the end of the movie would the audience member put together what the title sequence ment and who was portrayed in it and that’s so fucking cool!!! especially on a rewatch. Fincher in the dvd commentary says “to me it sort of pictorially represented aberrant thinking and it was like a way to actually see on screen, aberrant thought”.
‘Fight Club’ (1999)
this opening title sequence places the audience in the narrators head, in his thoughts, from the beginning of the film. the Dust Brothers score sets a fast paced and modern tone (for the 90s) with the techno(?) music and the use of CGI. honestly i don’t have much to say about these opening credits, they are just fucking epic!!
Zodiac (2007)
the opening title sequence for ‘Zodiac’ follows two different scenes which are cut together; the letter from the zodiac killer being delivered to the San Fransisco Chronicle, and Robbert Graysmith arriving at work. this kind of sets up the two main things we as the audience will be following throughout the film, the zodiac letters and killings and the life of Robbert Graysmith over the same period of time. this sequence also gives us an insight into Graysmiths personality , in that he is a caring fatherand is kind of a ‘loner’ character at work. all of the text on screen also fades into the zodiac puzzle? or code that he uses and that’s another thing i love about it.
the score during the credits is kind of jazzy? i think (idk) but it sort of reflects the time period, 1969, as we also see on a calendar during this sequence. so Fincher has already established the time period, location and one of the main characters in this short title sequence. anyway cool and epic!!
Gone Girl (2014)
unlike the rest of the title sequences that i have previously mentioned, ‘Gone Girl’s opening credits are more low-key and quiet. they depict different areas around the town in Missouri where the story takes place in jump cuts. the quiet score by Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross, which is mixed in with folly sounds of birds chirping, gas hissing and crickets making noise, all gives a ‘calm before the storm type of feeling’. especially with Nick at the end of the sequence, who is stood outside of his house with a kind of gormless expression, and looks back at the house with anxiety?
but yeah if you got down this far thanks for reading! 😭 ‘The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo’ is by FAR my fav it’s just so fucking good and engrosses you into the story within the first 10mins or so!!
#long post#no one asked for this but i just think his opening credits are so cool!!#my least fav is probably ‘panic room’s title sequence#it’s just so painfully 2002#the ‘mank’ credits are also kind of cool i guess but nothing compared to these lmao 😭#this is such a nerdy post holy shit#jesus how many times did i say ‘cool’ and ‘epic’?!?#david fincher#the girl with the dragon tattoo#se7en#se7en (1995)#fight club#fight club 1999#zodiac 2007#gone girl
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it wasn't the fact that you bought us pokemon cards after work sometimes, it was the fact you were so excited about them, too. i knew the sound of your car, every car you ever drove to work. i knew how the air would change at 5:20 every single day because i got to see you when you got home from work. sometimes you were a few minutes late, and i knew it was because there was traffic, or bad weather, but it was always 5:20 every other time, across any job you had, anywhere we had lived. 5:20.
i dont remember when pokemon yellow came out i just remember crawling into your lap at night with my bright yellow gameboy. after the news, or friends, or seinfeld. i remember thinking giovanni was the hardest boss in the entire world because of that stupid nidoqueen - we played for hours and hours, and sylph co was so hard to get around. when i woke up the next day you were so excited to tell me that you beat him! we beat him!
i remember being so appalled because you caught articuno with the masterball, but i also felt so loved because you wanted me to see what you had caught for me! Articuno! i was mad because it was for mew, but i couldn't be so mad because i felt so loved. how could i be mad, how could i care about stupid mew when my masterball now had articuno and you had caught it for me and you were so excited about it.
when the iron man movie came out, you were so excited to share it with me. your love of comics, your love of iron man, of tony stark... a man who i probably would hate if it wasn't for you. the feeling of love in me when it was over and when i had been given the gift of comics, the feeling of love when we sat through every single lord of the rings movie together, every marvel movie, every star wars movie, when you told me you loved the rocky horror picture show and i thought it was the craziest thing to think of - you, my big goofy dad who couldn't care less about queer shit(never in a bad way, you just... didn't care in the best possible way - people could do whatever they wanted and live whatever life they wanted and as long as they were't hurting anyone you loved it), loving the gayest movie of all time and actively participating in it - my DAD of all people. it made me feel so warm, it made me feel so seen by you.
i'll never forgive infinity war for letting thanos' 'love' of gamora be true because i couldn't understand that. a father who loved his daughter willing to throw her away for some stupid ideal because you showed me that love was better than that. that dads were better than that. that you were better than that in every way. you gave me all of the goofy stupid nerdy dorky weird parts of me. the stupid voices, the weird dances, the love of cats and all animals,... the deep dives into weird shit on the internet and randomly becoming expert about something. looking up at the sky and knowing there's something more, being horrified yet so in love with the stars and the depth of space. aliens are real. we have contact with them. the james webb telescope just posted a picture of neptune and i want to show you so bad. i know youd love it. i know youd love that stupid alien thats been all over reddit lately. i know you'd love the end of the loki show and i want so badly for you to see it. i want you to see it. i want to show everything i love to you because you showed everything you love to me.
i miss you so much every day. every day i am heartbroken over you. i cant believe i was ever mad about that stupid masterball.
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other than rosquez and bezz and cele who comples u the most from the current (or past) grid?
okay so i am truly a baby motogp fan so im still feeling it out but!!
im interested in the pedrenzo lore but dont know enough about it! i just enjoy when men hate each other comma weirdly. so someone evangelize me about it
but the bulk of my braincrazy this weeks has been regarding casey stoner. he compels me sooo much i love a hater. more detailed under the cut but i get personal~ so read at your own risk i guess
actually so. hmm. VULNERABILITY ALERT: the thing is. i do somewhat. relate to casey in lots of ways. like looking at a person like marc marquez its easy to call him crazy (and even easy to call less reckless riders crazy) because its a very dangerous sport with lots of injuries but i do kind of get it. because i know a LOT of people like marc and the other riders. like my entire family is like that lol. family motto is "but did you die?" and like sometimes its close!! adrenaline junkies allllll of them
basically! i was heavily involved in a very niche extreme sport (whitewater kayaking) from a young age bc my parents (and brother) were/are very very good kayakers. some of the best in the world for a bit there. like for context: i know multiple olympians and did a few clinics with people who are now olympians when i was a kid/young teen before i quit. and my dad really wanted me to be an elite kayaker bc i was a little better than my brother. not as intense as some dad/coaches but its like. hard to articulate how integral to the fabric of our family this sport is. and how many people i know who have drowned/been permanently injured from it and how everyone i know loves the sport despite that, in ways that are really hard to understand from outside of it. like yes they are crazy (and marc is crazy) but if any one of us was away from a river for more than a month at a time we WILL go insane including myself.... theres photos of me being conerningly young in the cockpit of a kayak that i look at now and im like. who let me do that lol.
so its interesting for me to get into motogp with all these kids staring way too young and knowing each other and coming up in the sport and sacrificing their safety at the alter of a death sport they love so, so much because. hey i lived that! people i love still live that! im involved in the industry still! i cant let whitewater go, even if i do a less dangerous version of it now!
but i quit! because i was battling anxiety. which is an already alienating experience but ESPECIALLY when your entire life is dominated by a sport that is exclusively for people with maladaptive adrenaline responses lol. and when i was reading stuff that casey said about his retirement and how he would lie in his motorhome wanting to die before a race and then just. tell himself to suck it up bc he couldnt let people around him down.... well. same! i would literally cry before every kayak clinic or river trip for years until i had enough and fucking quit! and then i grew up, got an anxiety medication prescription, and started doing forms of the sport that didnt rely on me being strapped in to a vehicle under water and freaking out all the time and im generally in a much better place with it. but its kind of an impossible thing to explain to my peers who kayaked as kids who have the OPPOSITE of an anxiety disorder, who are also the only people who have that specific experience as being a kid raised in the sport bc the sport is sooo small. and i imagine casey deals with something similar.
so this has been DISGUSTINGLY vulnerable but its casey. he gets me i get him. we are holding hands
#literally asked my brother for a marc hat for xmas and he said he wouldnt get me anything red bull bc people would think i was sponsored lol#anyways root for evy liebfarth at the 2024 olympics she is going to slay at the kayaking slalom events i know it#asks#callie speaks
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