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brigittttoo · 2 years

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hehehehe yes. 17, 40, and 87!

(For the fanfic writer's ask game)

17. What is your favorite line you’ve ever written? -- I have a lot of favourite lines, that I usually realize in the moment of writing them when I've done something well, like described a facial expression perfectly, or used someone's simple action to convey something that the reader can tell is much deeper. BUT then unless I re-read my fics I forget about them completely! I probably have at least one favourite line or phrase from every work I've written, but I've tried to trawl through to find some real shiners:

"The man is tall, with a downward tilt to the head that reminds Obi-Wan of the hawks that perch on the pines and peer down at the rest of the forest below, calculating and observant and severe." from Drudenfuß (good description of both looks and demeanour)

"The closest casualty department had let him stumble in through the doors in bloody, stunned silence before suddenly spurring into action, and Cody had nearly said, “Jango,” when they’d asked for his name, he’d been so in the forefront of his mind." from Seeker, Prospector (nice concise description of both action and state of mind)

"It’s sadness, yes, but it’s coiled up in frustration and possessiveness, a satisfied yearning that is now blocked, his hand now invisibly barred from reaching into that bowl where he could take little pieces of his desire like individual petals off a larger flower." from As before the loved one (stolen flower imagery from a Rilke poem in a fic about nature in art)

"She’d been hovering in Damen’s periphery since the auction at the livestock show, and when her brother’s ranch had bought a number of this year’s calves, she’d come along to observe the loading of stock into the transport, and had given her business card to Damen by slipping it into the front pocket of his work shirt, her hand delicately sliding past the opening of Damen’s jacket and brushing his chest." from Lambswool (description of an action that also silently reveals the secondary intentions of a character)

"A thorn on one of the branches catches a leaf belonging to its neighbour, and they stick together for a moment until the next breeze blows them apart again, and Laurent thinks so desperately and abruptly of how this serenity has always been here, in one form or another, waiting for Laurent to come back just to show him how nice it could be. In the idyllic hush, Laurent imagines his life leading up to this liminal moment in time, and then, with a smile, what it could be like to carry on after." from Rubus ulmifolius (using a simple image to trigger the internal thoughts of character, and progress his arc)

"He says it like Laurent’s name is the one thing he has made sure to perfect in his commandment of the language, prioritised over greetings, food, the weather." from Ideal Bounds (pretty romantic description of POV character's feelings about things a non-POV character does, perhaps unknowingly)

There are also a lot of good lines that maybe aren't necessarily that exceptional on their own, but come at exactly the right time in the fic to really clinch a bunch of things I've seeded along the way. Those are great ones :)

40. Best piece of feedback you’ve ever gotten? -- If by feedback you mean something constructive, I'm not sure I've actually received much? Otherwise I'm sure something would be coming to mind right now. I tend to take my writing advice from other things I've read (non-fiction, experiential, etc) and practice incorporating them as I go along. But, as we all know, no piece of writing advice should ever actually be followed. (That being said, while answering question 87 I did think of many pieces of advice I do follow, but have never personally been on the receiving end of.)

If by feedback you mean something complimentary, the comments that show someone has figured out my story like it's been assigned for critical reading in an English Lit class--those are the ones that really hit my heart in the best way <3

87. Does your writing style change depending on the genre you write? -- Because of the amount of AU stuff I write, it definitely does. If something is set on Earth, or in a different era (or canon equivalent of one) then I do adjust the narration appropriately. Just like the mention of turning on a light switch in a century that relies solely on gas or flame would pull a reader out of the reality that you're trying to create, so can a character's way of speaking, or a description of the surrounds. I never 100% commit to very historical genres, usually just meeting things halfway; for example, I once wrote a fic that was set in the sort of Mary Shelley 1820's gothic novel era and tried to incorporate the darkness of those themes into my descriptions, but didn't exactly make everyone talk in 1820's british lingo (not that everyone in the fic was british either).

Sometimes I try new writing styles out for fun, and it doesn't necessarily have any bearing on the genre. I'll experiment with trying to make a fic short by only using descriptive scene storytelling, and minimizing dialogue. Or I'll try using the POV character's internal view more, adjusting the scope to just their viewpoint or keeping the narration as wide-lensed as possible.

#thank you for questions chel!!#writing #now go ask me about what words show up in my wip <3

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elthadriel · 2 years

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I have a couple of questions ha,

What drew you into shipping codex?

What inspires you to write fanfics? Mainly the smutty ones cuz those r top tier.

And lastly I love your fics, especially your codex ones. I was curious if you have any plans for more or if there are any on the way.

Writing Boosting Morale got me into the ship. I wrote that fic while I was still more into Codywan than any other ship but I was already having thoughts about clone culture about sex. I’ve written poly-clones a few times now, and treat it was a the default at this point. I like sex being a staple of their interactions with each other, and them having very different norms about what is and isn’t acceptable to do around each other.

So I wanted to write something for a pair of clones and I Cody was already a favourite because of how much I’d been engaging with him in Codywan, and I was starting to have a real sense of what I wanted from his characterisation, and Rex felt like the obvious choice because I’d enjoyed their interactions in the Rishi episodes. It was just meant to be a one off thing :p

But then I started thinking about them, and it was all over for me. I like the pining potential even after they’re together they don’t get to see each other very often, and when they do it’s often all tied up in combat. Then there’s the general competence kink :p. I try to write Cody as more pragmatic, he’s the one choosing his battles and quietly burying his emotions because he needs to be seen as steady. While Rex takes every injustice personally, he just cares and cares, and loves so easier. I think Cody finds loving people hard. That’s not to say he doesn’t, he clearly does, but he’s not always good at expressing it, or being comfortable with how much it affects him. But Rex is just there, and he makes it so easy to love him. I’ve mentioned it in Reflected In Your Eyes, but I always have Cody falling in love first, and it happens so quickly. Rex gets to be the exception to everything because he’s just so blindingly good, who could Cody not love him? Meanwhile Cody is weird and a little awkward and an asshole and Rex is just enamoured by how it all fits together.

What inspires me to write fanfics? I sure do wish I knew.

Smut normally comes easy to me, and I have the outlines to at least several ideas floating around at any given moment. Sometimes it’s prompted by talking shit with my friends (We all enable each other terribly) but often I just get stuck on a kink or dynamic for a bit and shake them about to see if a fic falls out.

The angsty stuff, which is normally the stuff I’m most proud of is tricker. Sometimes it’s caused by shit in my actual life (angst has always helped make me feel better for whatever reason) like Devour What’s Truly Yours which I wrote directly after some bad news, but other times the idea just fucking fullbody tackles me out of no where.

As for what I’m working on, I have a non-codex smut with a beta just now which should go up in the next couple days and in my wips I have some codex smut that’s slowly coming together and a non-smutty rex centric fic with background codex that is more together but also less done. I’ve also just wrapped up the first stage of outlining (there’s two stages) for my next long fic. It’s also Codex, because I live here now, but probably won’t be posted until towards the end of the year at the very earliest.

#cloneshipping #codex #apparently it shows up even if you tag it after the 5th tag #so now you all have to look at my ramblings #I'm sorry

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captainrexisboo · 3 years

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Ice

-DJ Khaled voice- Another one.

What the fuck?? Four fics in just one weekend?? After two whole months of inactivity?? Aha, I am in no way as productive as you think I am. I’ve been sitting on all of these projects for almost three months now lmao- but they’re here now for your viewing pleasure, babes! This is a one shot Rex x Jedi!Reader, but they are not together. They do not get together. This is just Rex, pining for some oblivious Jedi General (you) and dealing with it by being grumpy and thinking he has the upper hand in teasing the reader. I left the gender of the reader pretty ambiguous I think? I hope?

No warnings apply, except I guess foul language if you don’t like that. And vague imaginings of semi steamy scenarios. Some angst if you squint. But really, it’s just fluffy pining, with a needy (and in denial) Rex. Comments, questions, reblogs and replies absolutely welcome and encouraged!

“T-take off the a-a-armor.”

The jaig eyes turned to you, the blue and white blending into the Pantoran ice and snow effortlessly. This would be the only environment suitable for their stark white armor as camouflage, and here you were demanding him stripped. Knowing you couldn’t read his bewildered expression, Rex tilted his head to you in a curious motion, “Why?”

“It’s fekkin’ f-freezin’ Cap,” you spoke through chattering teeth, pulling your robes tighter around you. He chuckled at your cursing, no other Jedi talked so blunt like you did, so casual. It was even worse when you were outside the temple, falling out of regulations and decorum the moment it was just you and your troopers. Hell, they didn’t even have to be your troopers. Force knows how often you’ve snuck around the barracks on Coruscant, going from battalion to battalion, whoever had furlough, making sure every clone gets at least a moment's worth of normalcy in their too-short life. Rex would be lying if he said it wasn’t endearing, and he may have felt a slight smidgen of pride that, aside from your own men, you seemed to find yourself in the 501st bunks the most.

“So? I’m perfectly toasty in this specialized insulated armor. You’re the one that decided not to wear your cold-assault gear until we got to the surface, General L/N,” Rex teased, drawing out your name and title nice and slow, biting back a bit of laughter at the way you scrunch your nose whenever you got annoyed, “Why would you want me to de-kit? To be cold with you?”

“Don’t c-call me that, Rex,” you bit out, groaning at the formality, and the chill going down your spine, “Y-you know I’m just Y/N.”

“I’ll stop calling you proper, when you stop being a Jedi,” he chided, prodding some more at the fire in the dim cavern, the only light being the glowing embers in front of you and whatever was being illuminated off the snow right at the mouth of the cave. Your ship had crashed into the freezing moon in the midst of a brutal blizzard, luckily right next to the base of a mountain with accessible caves. Unluckily, you were also 15 klicks west of your rendezvous point, with the wind and snow causing major damage to your transmitters and interfering with the signal in your commlinks. You weren’t going anywhere, or talking to anyone, until the storm let up.

You huffed at his strict persona, you know Rex only acted so dogmatic to rile you up. You saw how nonchalantly he acted around Anakin and Ahsoka, even Obi-Wan at times. No, with you it was entertainment, a game to see how much you could take before breaking, and he loved it. Even without the Force, you could see it in the shake of his shoulders at his quiet laughter, hear the coy smirk in the dip of his drawl, watching the extra swing in his stride as he walked away triumphant every time, so sure he had succeeded in driving you crazy. This time, he had nowhere to run.

Ignoring his baiting taunt, you crawled around the fire to sit right next to him, “P-please, Captain? I’m r-r-really kriffin’ c-cold, and while the fire is so delightful, I think i-it’d be in both o-our best interests to h-have a second source of heat.”

Rex nearly dropped his stick he was using to poke at the kindles, tensing slightly before clearing his throat, “Oh? And what ‘source of heat’ did you have in mind?”

“D-don’t play dumb,” you shivered again, pouting at how you stuttered while he sat a little too well composed for your liking, “I know the K-Kaminoans t-taught you all about s-s-survival tactics. I d-do it with my boys a-all the time. Strip to your b-blacks, m-me to my t-t-tunic, then I’ll wrap my robes around the two of us. B-body heat, Rex.”

Your boys. Your affectionate term for your ever-faithful battalion, that apparently frequently slept and cuddled with you in the most innocent and familiar of ways. Still, something about it made Rex’s stomach stir, his mouth twisting from a smirk into a silent snarl under his helmet. He wasn’t against ‘cuddle puddles’ with the vode, every single brother took part in them, and it wasn’t unusual to find a stray jedi or padawan compacted in the very middle of the pile. He knew for a fact that the 212th had regular arguments as to who’s turn it was to use General Kenobi as a pillow (and that Cody never partook in those bouts- no, he was always the General’s pillow). In theory, he knows it's more than a possibility for you to be a part of them, especially with your extremely relaxed extroverted personality, but actually hearing you say it out loud had something ugly rear its head to sour the Captain’s mood. He attempted to shoo the little creature away, trying to scare it off with a forced cough to make it scurry back into hiding and leave his inner peace alone. His mind clear again, he peered into your pleading doe eyes through his visor, seeing the flames flickering reflections off your irises in a whimsical dance. His gaze went lower, following the slope of your nose, before tracing the shape of your full pout, lips trembling and reddened from the cold, nearly beginning to chap. The slight clicking of your teeth as he watched you shiver under your robes made him resign to your request, sighing as he removed the cowled helmet, “Fine. Why you didn’t just wear your own cold-assault gear is beyond me, but I’ll help you stay warm this time.”

“Oh, thank the force,” you whimpered, immediately dropping the outermost robe from your shoulders, staying on your knees as he stood up to remove his layers. Rex nearly dropped his cuirass, watching you unwrap your tan-colored linen underneath to reveal a gripping white tunic, clinging to your every curve and muscle, no part of you left to the imagination except the actual flesh itself. You even discarded your boots and breeches, leaving you in opaque black tights. Without the safety of his helmet, Rex tore his eyes from you, desperate to hold onto some semblance of rectitude, taking a deep inhale through his nose before continuing his own removal. Rex could feel the tip of his nose numbing just slightly, shaking his head at what the hell was he doing-

“You know, if we get found like this-”

“We’ll s-say I got hypothermia and you were ‘d-doing your duty t-to protect the Jedi’,” you giggled, a little forced, hands coming up to rub at your shoulders, attempting to create some friction, but wincing at the iciness of your fingers, “Rex, hurry!”

Your whine of his name had him hesitant to remove the bottom half of his armor, already starting to feel something forbidden gathering in the depths of his stomach. He tried to fend off the feeling by turning his head to the stone wall and talking- though whether that was an effective decision remained to be seen. “I’m just saying, can’t you use the Force or whatever to warm yourself up? Isn’t that something you can do? I know you can use the Force for healing purposes, this’d be like that, right?”

“If I had f-followed the path of m-m-medical practice, sure,” your breath came out in little clouds as you puffed through another tremor, wrapping your dark robe around your shoulders as you waited for Rex to finish, “But, I didn’t, I chose the kn-n-nights, and so I’m here, and n-now I’m your problem.”

“My problem,” Rex grumbled under his breath as he sat back down, tugging at the final parts of his boots, not caring that you could actually hear him, “Skywalker is my problem. Tano is my problem. Kenobi can even be considered my problem at times, but you, General? No, no, no. You’re not my problem, you’re-”

Turning back around to face you, he nearly choked on his own spit. He hadn’t realized how close you were, and without his helmet, his nose brushed against yours in an innocent bunny kiss, the brief friction making him jump back nearly a foot away. A teasing chuckle left you at his skittish reaction, cocking your head to the side as you opened your robe back up and beckoned him closer, “Wrong way, Captain. C’mere.”

His throat felt tight, closing off almost everything, even air, and despite his discarded layers he was certain the back of his neck was beginning to sweat. The way you so carefully had folded your legs, thighs pillowing together in such an enticing way, leaning on your elbow to pronounce the slope of your hips and curve of your waist...he could so easily wrap his arms around you perfectly, before settling his head to rest on your chest and memorize the beat of your heart- the pinch of his nails digging into the meat of his palm drew him out of his mind before he could fall any further down that rabbit hole. He cleared his throat, throwing his gaze to the floor as his entire being tensed, “This…i-is not regulation, General.”

“Oh my maker you’ve been hanging out with Echo too much,” you groaned, throwing your head back dramatically, “Rex, please?”

He swallowed down a hard gulp of air, inching his way over to you, without looking up from the floor. You met him halfway, dragging your thickest robe behind you, and sighed in relief at the natural waves of heat coming off of him. Every single clone ran hot, and you trapped that heat by throwing the robes over the two of you, wrapping your hands around the back of Rex’s head and pulling him into your neck as you leaned against a standing rock.

One minute his eyes were counting cracks and jagged holes scattered over the cave floor, and the next they were gifted with a gracious view of your form, so close he could smell your clean body wash, a soft mint that tickled his nose, and he had to count to ten to control his breath so he didn’t just inhale you instead of oxygen. It was a concentrated effort made extremely difficult due to the delightfully sharp pressure of your nails against his scalp. You already felt like heaven, he had to tense himself from wanting to grab for more of you- which he didn’t have to do anyways. You had pulled him into you, his nose brushing over your neck, the tip still chilled, making a breathless giggle leave you, “Oh, your nose is s-so icy!”

“Who's fault is that,” Rex grumbled into you, mumbling to try to keep his lips from mouthing over your exposed collarbone. What he couldn’t stop was the delighted shiver that ran through him as your hands started massaging the tired planes of muscle in his back, making him lose a bit of discipline and dropping flush against you. He made a horrified sound, the breath strangled in his throat as he felt a nervous sweat thickly dripping over the back of his neck, before that sweet amused sound left you once again.

“Rex, you're so tense! Here, lemme just-”

Your hands worked in smooth motions, rubbing deep into his tired tissue. He could feel his eyes roll back into his head, biting the swell of his lip to keep any lewd sounds from leaving him, focusing on syncing his breath with the flow of your touches. His form was finally slack, keeping you trapped underneath him as his arms tentatively found their way around your waist, holding you to him, his face buried in the crook of your neck. You hummed at the coverage of him over you, leaning to nuzzle against the side of his head, the prick of his blond tickling the tip of your numbed nose. You whispered to him, eyelids growing heavy as you curled into him, “Thank you, Captain.”

Your breathing evened out, deep and slow, your hands coming to a rest, stopping on the small of his back and between his shoulder blades. Rex couldn’t believe it; you had fallen asleep in his arms. His eyes slowly peeked open, and he wiggled a bit, getting to a place where he faced you instead of the rock you were both leaning on. His eyes were nearly level with your jawline, he could trace the profile of your parted lips, still threatening to chap in the cold air, but your breath didn’t stutter anymore from the chill. He really was helping keep you warm.

He had dreamt about those lips, memorized the way they shaped his name, watched the direction you preferred to run your tongue over them while you were deep in thought. He licked his own lips in just that way, thinking about how maybe it’d feel if he were to do that to yours.

Maker, he was awful. Thinking about his wretched togue playing at your perfect lips, while you laid so peaceful and trusting underneath him.

Rex prided himself as a man of honor, he wasn’t so foolish as to attempt anything, but even just thinking about you in this vulnerable way as you let him hold you… he felt slimy, unworthy to be in your good graces. He let out a shuddering breath, not in the cold but in longing, exhaling your name as his arms brought you impossibly closer to him. For however long the two of you had, however long the storm lasted, he would treasure this. He would treasure you.

He was a fool for fighting you on this. Being lulled by your breath to join you into rest as the blizzard raged on, the only thing he would change would be how late he was in agreeing to your conditions. When you both awoke, with the snow settled and communications running, when you were both with your respective teams, and yourself in proper gear, Rex would still have tonight in his memory. He would still be holding you in his arms, breathing you in, and playing the memory of your heartbeat, the soft thumping tempo so soothing, on repeat in his mind.

#captain rex #captain rex x reader #captain rex imagine #captain rex x y/n #captain rex x you #pining #cuddling for warmth #oblivious reader #grumpy captain #hes done with your shit but fucking hells youre so damn cute #swtcw fanfic #commander rex #the clone wars #star wars the clone wars #star wars #my writing #liz speaks #jedi!reader #oblivious!reader

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sirikenobi12 · 3 years

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This Capt' goes down with her Ship

I’m honestly amazed at how many messages I receive both here and on Twitter that ask me why I ship Obi-Wan with Siri Tachi over Satine Kryze. I guess I’m mostly amazed because I can’t believe people actually care enough to take the time to message me about my character preferences, that’s just really fascinating to me.

But, since I’m getting tired of writing this out in individual messages I thought perhaps a blog would be a good idea so that way I can just reference/link them to it later - it’ll be much easier. So, bear with me while I get a little self indulgent (and Satine stans please don’t come at me, I will explain below how I really have nothing against Obitine).

This is going to be really long, and I’m not expecting anyone to actually read this, but here we go!

I’ll begin by answering questions that are sitting in my inbox:

1. Who the hell is Siri Tachi?? For those who don’t know the character of Siri Tachi, she was a female Jedi who was two years younger than Obi-Wan. She was originally from the Legends young reader book series Jedi Apprentice and Jedi Quest (written by Jude Watson). She was in many of the same Padawan classes as Obi-Wan even though she was two years his junior because of her advanced skills. She could hold her own against him in a lightsaber duel even as they grew up. She was chosen as an apprentice to Jedi Council Member Adi Gallia at age 11 which was very impressive given how young she was and the fact that a Council Member chose her.

(I don’t know why she looks like Brittany Spears in this drawing, not my fave)

She did have a hard time fitting in with her peers when she was younger though because she was so focused on her career as a Jedi which didn’t always make her the friendliest person to be around (it was really her masking her insecurities) and it was only after she was paired on several missions with Obi-Wan that they even became friends.

She and Obi-Wan over the years grew very close and eventually discovered their feelings had crossed the line from friends to something more while on a mission when they were older Padawans (Obi was 18). They had been separated from their masters and nearly died while on that mission. So, before they “died” they each confessed their love to the other, but when it turned out they didn’t actually die they decided they’d wait and figure out what their relationship actually meant once the mission was over - putting duty above their feelings. But Qui-Gon and Yoda intervene before the two of them could have the conversation and the Masters reminded Obi-Wan of his dedication to the Jedi Order. Obi-Wan argued that he and Siri would be able to find a way to be together while still being active Jedi, that maybe they could be an exception to the rule or even change the rule entirely. Both he and Siri did end up choosing their commitment to the Jedi over their relationship in the end, because each of them realized they’d regret not being Jedi more than anything, but it did put a strain on their friendship for many years.

At 23 Siri was secretly knighted and her first solo mission was sent undercover to infiltrate and take down a huge pirate slaver operation and she spent 4 years on that mission, all on her own with limited communication with the Council.

In order to do this she had to pretend to have a falling out with her Master and “leave” the Order entirely, everyone thought she had fallen to the dark side. Obi-Wan was devastated, and he spent several months looking for her because he refused to believe she’d actually fall. It was also clear that he was heartbroken that she left, especially knowing what they had given up in order to be Jedi. Upon ending the mission she returned to the Jedi and was then often sent on other undercover missions throughout the rest of her career (including one where she and Obi-Wan had to play a royal married couple which was super cute). Her actually being a Jedi Shadow is not official and is a fanfiction creation - but, it’s one that I 100% headcanon because it just makes sense.

Siri was very different when she returned from her long undercover mission, she had lived as a pirate for 4 years and so she was not as uptight and rule bound as she had been in her youth. She began to wear tight unisuits/flight suits instead of the traditional Jedi tunics and she had grown to be a bit more irreverent - even showing up late to Jedi Council summons. Obi-Wan didn’t seem to mind the change and the two became a formidable pair as Knights and they were sent together (with their Padawans who hated one another) on several missions.

Obi-Wan and Siri were always written as being equals, never one more powerful than the other. They often shared flirtatious banter (nothing new for Obi-Wan) and they seemed very much in sync on missions that it was clear they shared some kind of bond. They never seemed to let their failed romance stand between them and their duty, and only brought it up once more as adults to admit that they still loved each other, but were content to just be friends because it would be selfish of them to turn their backs on the Jedi simply for their love. Then upon Siri’s untimely death (she of course died in his arms) she told him that she’d always be with him. And he nearly fell to the dark side due to his anger, but stopped himself from killing the man who was responsible for Siri’s death because he knew she’d not want him to fall because of her.

In canon there isn’t much about her (yet), except that Siri is said to be the girl Obi-Wan would hold hands with under the table during mid-day meals which suggests that they had a bit of a secret affair/flirtation for many years.

2. Why don’t you like Satine? This is a bit of a loaded question because even though I tend to write fics centered more on Obi-Wan and Siri’s relationship doesn’t mean that I don’t enjoy the character of Satine or that I don’t swoon over their relationship from time to time thanks to some very well written fics ( @mahizli I’m looking your way). I just tend to write Siri more than Satine because I can relate to Siri more as a character, but in truth I also feel Siri and Obi-Wan’s relationship is a bit more well rounded than his and Satine’s

*ducks to avoid things being thrown at her*.

Satine and Obi-Wan have a beautiful love story, don’t get me wrong. But for me personally I am a little sick of the Romeo & Juliette/star crossed lovers angle. And that’s totally what they are - She’s a Mandalorian, He’s a Jedi, it’s a forbidden love not just because of his code, but because their “families” were mortal enemies. And I guess I’m just not super inspired by it. Not to mention that they met as children (apparently only 15 years old according to canon), confessed their undying love for one another after a year of knowing one another in a life or death situation and then pined for each other for the next 20 years until they were reunited...I just have a very hard time finding this story relatable (and hate to say it, plausible). Not that they couldn’t have felt love for one another as teenagers (especially in that situation), but that they still felt that same level of love 20 years later without ever seeing one another...at least with Siri they still had to interact with one another on a regular basis so it would be harder to push those feelings aside.

The other reason I have a hard time writing Satine and Obi-Wan is because the romantic love they seem to have in TCW is written to be very one sided in my opinion. While Obi-Wan clearly cares for her, and admits to having feelings for her at one time it’s only ever Satine who actually seems to want something with him in the current sense. Which honestly makes their relationship feels a bit cringy to me, it doesn’t feel like it’s on equal footing - and makes it seem like Satine is a bit obsessive (I don’t blame her, it is Obi-Wan after all). This is a similar argument I have about Padme’s character, I feel like we’re presented with these incredibly strong women characters who for whatever reason still fall apart when it comes to love...I think it’s a reflection of men trying to write women and it ends up being a bit of a fantasy (the sexy/badass woman who secretly needs a man to save her). So, to sum up - I really do love Satine’s character outside of her relationship with Obi-Wan.

Again, this is just MY interpretation of Satine and Obi-Wan’s relationship...I get other people tend to feel very differently and that’s wonderful!!

I will say, the thing I do like about Obi-Wan and Satine’s relationship and very much appreciate is how it is an opposite parallel to Anakin and Padme’s relationship. And it shows what a Jedi should’ve done - how you can’t have both a commitment to the Jedi Order and a marriage, but you can still care deeply about another person. I do very much appreciate that aspect of their relationship and it’s very well done from that perspective.

3. So, why SiriWan after all these years? Well, I’m drawn to Obi-Wan and Siri’s relationship for several reasons, but mostly because they are written as equals/partners (as I had mentioned above), both have moments where you can see the love they hold for one another - their feelings are very much shared and not one sided, but above all it’s not the main defining factor of their relationship. They are Jedi and friends before anything else, and I love that! It may not be as flashy or maybe even as passionate as say Satine or Cody but to me it’s more full and well rounded. I can also see their relationship growing and changing over the years, they aren’t stuck in one place or in the past.

I also tend to find the Jedi culture more fascinating than the Mandalorians. I know, I know, I’m a heretic. That’s not to say, again that I don’t think Satine on her own isn’t fascinating, I just am a little tired of Mandalore’s importance in virtually every aspect of Star Wars these days and I feel like there is only so much you can do with Obi-Wan having feelings for a Mandalorian, where as him navigating a relationship with another Jedi is more interesting. The Jedi are allowed to be intimate with people, contrary to popular belief they are allowed to love, they just can’t become possessive/attached - I feel like two Jedi would have an easier time navigating that than someone who wasn’t raised with that same code. I think Siri and Obi-Wan have more opportunities to have a more realistic and adult relationship and I like writing/exploring that.

The other thing I like about Siri and Obi-Wan specifically is the fact that neither ever really considered leaving the Order for the other. They knew how important being a Jedi was to the other, and I think having a love interest that Obi-Wan didn’t consider leaving for is an important distinction.

Instead he thought they would be able to change the rules/code because he assumed it would be obvious that their love was pure and not an attachment. Now, obviously they both realized later that it was just foolish/young love talking (because I’m sure teenagers have to be extra careful of forming attachments), but what I really adore the concept that Obi-Wan “by the code” Kenobi had loved Siri so much that he’d even remotely consider the idea that he’d want the rules to change for her/them (and Siri “by the code” Tachi felt the same about him). There is something incredibly romantic about that - naïve, but romantic.

I also believe that romantic love doesn’t automatically equal “true love”. I personally feel that Obi-Wan and Siri have a love that is on such a deep level that their relationship doesn’t always have to be romantic. They simply just love one another, in whatever form that takes at any given period in time throughout their lives, sometimes it takes the form of just friends, sometimes lovers, sometimes romantic. And I wish we saw more relationships like that in various media. But I get why we don’t, they are harder to write and less overtly sexy/dramatic.

Also, when someone says the phrase:

“Forgive me if I still think I know you better than anyone.” (Siri)

And it’s followed immediately with:

“You do” (Obi-Wan)

My heart just melts, because that to me is love!!

4. So, you actually think Obi-Wan loved both Siri & Satine? Yes, I do...100%. I think they all loved other people at different points in their lives. I personally feel that most of Obi-Wan’s various ships (with exceptions of Master/Padawan ships...sorry, just not my bag) actually happened. I could see a young Obi-Wan having a fling with Quinlan Vos (I doubt they could handle more than that), I could definitely see him have an attraction/affection towards Cody (I don’t think given the power dynamic Obi-Wan would ever allow anything to actually happen between them though), I even believe he and Ventress had a rather confusing and passionate night together (maybe even more than one), I can see him easily having a relationship at one point with Taria Damsin (to which Siri would give him endless crap about because he seems to have a thing for Jedi Shadows). I’m sure he even had a relationship with Annileen on Tatooine to help find some comfort during his exile. To me all of that makes so much more sense than him (and Satine) pining away for one another for 20+ years.

Allowing Obi-Wan to have multiple loves in his life also helps showcase the idea of non-attachment. It’s not that Jedi promote promiscuity - though they won’t judge anyone for it (I see the Jedi very much in the mindset of: it’s your body/your choice) it’s that the idea of attachment means possessing someone, thinking you own someone and also putting that person’s value over others. The idea that Obi-Wan could find love and value in a multitude of lovers to me shows him capable of loving without attachment - He is able to let these people go when the relationship has run its course...it’s very healthy.

Not to mention that realistically people tend to have multiple relationships and loves throughout their lives. To only ever love one person is incredibly unrealistic, unhealthy and frankly screams attachment to me *cough Anakin, cough*.

In conclusion: If you’re still reading this (did you not have anything better to do with your time???) I do hope you have a bit more of an understanding why I personally like to write Obi-Wan and Siri’s relationship instead of his and Satine’s. Though if you read my fics (thank you if you do) I hope you realize that I try to not make the stories all about their relationship - yes, it pops up here and there, but I try not to make it the focal point. I believe both Obi-Wan and Siri are so much more than just a romance and that’s what I really love writing.

But I raise a glass and toast all of those who prefer to ship Obitine or CodyWan or Ventrobi (or whatever Obi-Wan and Quilan’s ship name is) - I love reading your take on those relationships and I hope you don’t mind if an old SiriWan shipper joins the fun!

Phew, rant over...man, does anyone else have to defend their OTP preferences to strangers?? It’s just so odd to me!

Thanks for reading, and if you’re a Siri, Obi-Wan or SiriWan fan drop me a line - I can seriously talk about them for hours!

#star wars #star wars fanfiction #sw meta #long rant #long post #sorry yall #my otp for life #siri tachi #obi wan kenobi #satine kryze #siriwan #obi wan x siri #why do people care who I ship?#jedi culture #jedi apprentice #jedi quest

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rachelbethhines · 3 years

Text

Digimon Adventure Shipping Masterpost - Part 4

Hey, it’s been awhile, hasn’t?

I haven’t forgotten this series, I’ve just been busy.

here’s the past parts

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

T.K. x Kari ( Takari )

Pros: They’re almost cannon. It’s never confirmed but it’s very obvious through out season two that T.K. at least is in love with Kari. Nothing ever comes from it, but it’s there. If you like slow burn childhood friends become lovers then this has got you covered. They’re also very protective of one another, and being both the youngest and the longest running digidestined they have a unique shared experience that brings them closer. It’s also fairly drama free. They’re also the second most popular ship next to Taisora, followed close behind by Taito. They’re also easily the most popular 02 ship, so you’re never lacking for content.

Cons: They’re kind of boring. Yeah, they’re both generically nice and care about one another but what else? How do they help each other grow and change? Where’s the story? T.K. and Kari are far more interesting characters when you pair them with anyone but each other, because with other characters there’s more push and pull. Even as friends who tease each other, like in Tri, they’re more interesting when pair platonically as well.

Personal Ranking (4/10) Yeah, count me as one of the ones who finds this ship dull. I kind of understand where people are coming from when they do ship them, but I also don’t. Other then being ‘cute’, what else is there to them? But I suppose with shipping you don't need to be more than just ‘cute’.

T.K. x Davis ( Daikeru )

Pros: Rivals to lovers lite. As in they’re technically rivals, but they’re also so laid back and quick to move on that they lack the usual tension and aggression that classic rivals to lovers exhibit. That actually makes them kind of unique and interesting, and helps them to stand out from Taito.

Cons: If you’re looking for that tension and pining that comes from the standard rivals to lovers trope than this ship isn’t for you. In fact T.K. can’t seemed to bothered with Davis one way or the other most of the time. They mostly hang out together because they have to work together to save the world and have mutual friends, and that’s like it.

Personal Ranking (5/10) I like it better than Takari but that’s mostly on the strength of Davis being my fav 02 character. Davis can make anything entertaining, but there’s better ships for both of them.

T.K. x Yolei ( Miyakeru )

Pros It’s the chill dude with the hyperactive assertive girl friend trope. They’re good friends and close in age and get along well with each other. It’s also a cute pairing of the spares route if you prefer Daikari, Kenkari, or even Daiken.

Cons They don’t really show much interest in one another, as they both have canon love interests already, and they’re never shown just hanging out one on one.

Personal Ranking (5/10) You know what, I can kind of see it. It’s not the most interesting ship for these two but there’s room there to explore.

T.K. x Cody ( Takori )

Pros They are best friends. No, I mean it. They don’t start out that way, but over the course of the show, after the ‘partners arc’ they do become besties. It’s kind of a shame that the series doesn’t explore their friendship more because they have a pretty unique relationship dynamic that no other duo in the show has. So of course if you like best friends to lovers slow burn then this can be a gay option for those of you who aren’t Takari fans.

Cons It’s that lack of exploration that can kill this ship. They don’t hang out one on one enough and the ‘partners arc’ comes a little too late in the season to make as much of an impact as it should.

Personal Ranking (4/10) This is one of the better Cody ships. Not only is there more interaction between the two characters but they’re also much closer in age, with only like a two to three years difference. (Guys, Cody only skipped one grade, he’s not that young. Please stop babifying him just because he’s short) That said, I do think that their friendship is more interesting than a same old, same old romantic pairing.

T.K. x Ken ( Kenkeru )

Pros Ok, now this is a classic enemies to lovers trope if you’re into that. Best of all, they’re on equal footing through out their rivalry, so it doesn’t have the more toxic undertones that the trope can fall into on occasion.

Cons They don’t get a whole lot of one on one interaction. I mean it’s there, they certainly have their moments, but after Ken’s redemption it’s like they never hang out just as buddies.

Personal Ranking (6/10) I’m normally not a fan of enemies to lovers, but I can get down with this ship because there’s a more healthy level of respect. For once it’s not the hero who is an insecure doormat and the villain isn’t coddled by them.

T.K. x Willis ( Taklace )

Pros Uh... T.K. met Willis first... I guess? They also share some parallels having both ‘lost’ their digimon, and T.K. was the one to cheer Willis up when Kokomon ‘dies’. So there’s that.

Cons They barely have any scenes together. Also Willis is kind of a bland character, not going to lie.

Personal Ranking (3/10) Umm... well, I don’t hate it. It’s just there. It’s a thing that exists.

T.K. x Catherine ( Catkeru )

Pros T.K. does openly flirt with her and even gives her a kiss on the cheek.

Cons Just like with Taicat, there’s really nothing much to Catherine’s character. She’s just there to be flirted at and fought over by the boys.

Personal Ranking (3/10) Eh...it’s pretty much the same level as Taklace. Willis may have more personality than Catherine, but she and T.K. share more screen time so it’s one to one really.

T.K. x Jun ( Takjun )

Pros This ship is freaken’ hilarious and more people need to realize it’s exitance. The basic premise is that T.K. realizes that his brother is a moron for dumping such a hot babe and basically steals Matt’s ex right out from under his nose. Everyone proceeds to freak the fuck out from there. What I love so much about it, is that it’s 100% in character; especially after Tri. T.K. is a flirt and a serial ladies man post 02. He’s also the type of guy who loves to stir shit up and then sit back and watch the chaos unfold around him with an innocent smile. Meanwhile Jun herself is chaos incarnate, so they’re perfect for each other really .

Cons While they do know each other and have certainty met more than once, they don't really share any conversations on screen; which is more the pity. (Jun really, really should have been a digidested, guys.)

Personal Ranking (7/10) This probably my fav T.K. ship just for the above premise. It’s gloriously hammy and pure fun.

T.K. x Meiko ( Meikeru )

Pros T.K., being the huge flirt that he is, expresses attraction to Meiko several times through out Tri. So there is a basis for which a more serious ship can grow. Meiko is also the only ‘shy’ girl in the whole series so she fulfills a dynamic here that you couldn’t get from any other het ship in the show.

Cons If you don’t like Meiko then this won’t appeal to you. It also feels like Takari lite at times, even if Kari herself is more assertive then Meiko.

Personal Ranking (6/10) Out of all the het ships with Meiko, I might like this one the most. There’s a tiny bit of wish fulfilment when the super confident ladies’ man goes after the geeky wallflower. It also helps that T.K. doesn’t coddle her like everyone else at times.

Kari x Davis ( Daikari )

Pros Davis really, really likes her. Also, Kari never outrights dismisses his affections, and if she is uncomfortable with something, she tells him so. It’s a cute ‘friend tries hard to get other friend to notice that they like them’ trope, while still keeping up healthy boundaries. But more importantly it’s the one Kari ship that actually encourages Kari to grow as a character. When she’s paired with Davis in the series she’s allowed to be something other then just ‘little miss perfect’ or ‘damsel in distress’. She can be annoyed, snarky, even petty at times. She comfortable enough around Davis to express herself even if her emotions aren’t always pleasant, and it’s so refreshing to watch.

Cons I mean if you hate the ‘guy hopelessly chases after girl’ trope then yeah, you won't like this. Kari never rejects him to his face, but she also doesn’t ever return his feelings either. She’s pretty neutral through out, either remaining oblivious most of the time or just choosing not to react at all to Davis’s more overt advances.

Personal Ranking (9/10) This is my second favorite ship in the series right behind Jyoumi. Davis is my fav character in 02 and so I do root for him to get the girl. But I also just really like it when Kari is humanized by the narrative and not made into a digital Jesus. It’s when she’s with Davis that she finally feels like a real person and not an aloof, all-knowing goddess.

Kari x Yolei ( Miyakari )

Pros This is the only potential lesbian ship in 02 that gets any real screen time. They’re also best friends and ‘opposites attract’ topes if you like those.

Cons They’re also the only strong female friendship in 02 as well, especially since Mimi was shipped off to New York during this season. (Seriously, who’s stupid idea was that?) I totally get it if you prefer to keep them as friends and go with one of the less obvious femslash pairings instead.

Personal Ranking (5/10) It’s not bad, but there’s better ships out there for them.

Kari x Cody ( Kariori )

Pros If you like ‘birds of a feather’ tropes then this is your bag. Both Kari and Cody are very similar archetypes; introverted, serious, the voices of reason, and probably suffer from PSTD given all the shit they’ve both been through.

Cons They might be too much alike, honestly. There’s no contrast for them to really bounce off of, which is why they rarely hang out together outside of group scenes.

Personal Ranking (3/10) In terms of age gaps it’s no different then Takori, but there’s less of an on screen connection between them.

Kari x Ken ( Kenkari )

Pros There’s a lot of interesting parallels between them. Ken pretty much functions as a darker version of Kari’s story. As such, they do hold a special connection and Kari can reach out to Ken in a way that no one else is able to. There’s also the ever present ‘enemies to lovers’ trope if you want to go that route.

Cons The series never fully explores the parallels that it sets up. Outside of an episode or two, Ken and Kari rarely interact. As such the pairing can come across as very flat.

Personal Ranking (5/10) Eh, I can take it or leave it. It has potential but it’s very undercooked, IMO.

Kari x Willis ( Wakari )

Pros Willis kisses her once.... that’s pretty much it.

Cons Willis kisses her once.... and that’s pretty much it.

Personal Ranking (2/10) What else is there to say? Willis himself is boring and he barely interacts with Kari. Him kissing her was more about making Davis and T.K. jealous anyways.

Kari x Jun ( Junkari )

Pros This here because Takjun made it onto the list and it’s only fair to have the gay equivalent. There’s also a lot of freedom to explore given that their canon dynamic is left open ended. All we know is that Kari sticks up for Jun when Davis talks about her behind her back, but Jun is not around to see it so...

Cons There’s no canon interaction. We only know that they know each other because of Davis.

Personal Ranking (4/10) It lacks the comedic potential of other Jun ships and can come across as Miyakari lite. Still, I can see how they could work as supportive girlfriends.

Kari x Meiko ( MeiKari )

Pros They get some cute scenes together in Tri, they’re both the introverts of the group, and it’s more queer rep. It’s also a bit of a role reversal for Kari to be protective of someone else instead of being ‘the moe’ herself.

Cons They might be too similar. Kari isn’t shy like Meiko is, but she is pretty quite and soft spoken most of the time.

Personal Rankings (4/10) Just like with Takari, it’s ‘cute’, but what else is there?

That’s part 4 done. Only two more to go.

#digimon #digimon adventure #digimon 02 #kari #t.k.#hikari #takeru #fandom #shipping

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kyber-queen · 4 years

Text

Someone New (Rex x Jedi!reader)

Summary: This is a lil prequel for the Like Real People Do universe, but it can be read as a stand-alone!! Shiny!Rex is completing additional training under Jedi!reader and he’s painfully in love, big brother Cody gives advice (Codywan if you squint), some mutual pining and confessions!!

Rating: Teen

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings: Mentions of blood, mentions of blasters, awkward Rex, kithes

Author’s Note: I wanted to write something happy for this series since its ending brought me so much pain. This is an elaboration of one of the memories Rex brings up in Pt. 4 -- I hope you all enjoy!! Also-- shebs means one’s backside in Mando’a if you were not aware :D

***

Shots fired off in quick succession to your left, the sheer volume of the mock battle around you rattling your brain. You were holed up behind a barricade next to Rex—the other troopers you were running the simulation with had scattered themselves behind various other blockades. Their helmets were turned expectantly towards you. You glanced over your shoulder at Rex, his visor trained on your face as he waited for your command. He’d been specifically selected to complete additional tactical training, and he had proven himself to be a fast learner and a skilled tactician. He had quickly assumed the position of your right-hand man, pointing out possible troop formations that even you might have missed. Your reliance on him during training quickly extended beyond the battlefield arena—you considered him a friend, and a good one at that. You cared about him, sometimes more than you knew a Jedi should.

“Sir, we’re bogged down from the front, and they’re looking to circle around from behind. Where do you want us?”

You acknowledged Rex with a tilt of your head, scanning the battlefield and eyeing the heavy artillery cannons protected by a row of battle droids—if you could dismantle the cannons, your troops could make a final push to the citadel under lighter fire.

“Cover me—I’m going to take out the artillery,” Rex nodded as you turned to address the rest of the men.

“Stand your ground—pick off the battle droids until we can take out the cannons,” you called.

Assuring that everyone had heard your orders, you leapt up from behind the barricade and started off towards the artillery cannons with a sprint. You made it maybe ten paces before the ground in front of you erupted with a bang.

Your vision flashed and your ears rang, and your body sailed through the air until you felt something solid collide against your back. Hands came to steady your waist, and an all-too-familiar voice sounded from behind you.

“You alright, sir?”

Rex. You absorbed the feeling of his strong hands gripping your waist, looking over your shoulder to see his masked gaze focused on your face. You shook off the momentary stun.

“I’m fine—focus on the cannons,” you shouted.

“Roger that,” he called.

Rex flexed his fingers, the sensation of your waist underneath his fingertips lingering far longer than it should have. He gulped. He trusted you—far more than the average trust built between a trooper and their commanding officer. You had singled him out on the first day he was stationed with you, mentioning that the Marshal Commander had issued a glowing report of his promise as a tactician. Since then, you and Rex had become near inseparable. Somewhere in between the late nights spent developing complex battle strategies and running over military codes, Rex found you invading more and more of his thoughts. It grew beyond just friendly trust—it’s like you put some Jedi curse on him. Your face plagued him during mess, while he was sleeping, in the kriffing refresher—every kind smile and friendly touch played over in his head tenfold. He knew the butterflies in his stomach were traitorous, but when you said his name with that sweet smile on your lips, every rule and regulation went out the window.

“Rex, blast it!” You gestured your saber at an approaching battle droid, still charging ahead to the cannons.

Rex shook himself from his ruminations, silently berating himself for his distraction as he fired at the droid. He was well and truly fucked.

***

“You did well today,” you smiled, bumping your shoulder against Rex’s pauldron. “Keep that up and you’ll be an ARC in no time,”.

Rex preened at your praise, punching in the code to enter the locker room with a grin. The door slid open with a clank.

“Keep an eye on those detonators, by the way,” he teased. “Almost had to scrape you off the duracrete,”.

You rolled your eyes as he followed you into the locker room.

You made a beeline to the sink, splashing water onto your face, which was still flushed with exertion from the training simulation. The locker room buzzed with excitement at a battle well-won. You glanced up from your reflection in the mirror, watching as a few straggling troopers stripped off their armor before heading to the refresher. You turned back to the sink, scrubbing your face and neck clean.

When you next looked up from the sink, your gaze was returned by a certain bleach-blond trooper.

His towel was slung low over his hips, and your eyes widened as you traced a bead of water from his temple all the way down to his chest. You followed it across his abdomen, watching as the water droplet slipped underneath the towel. Your cheeks flushed. Rex was your friend. Every single thought racing through your mind at that moment crossed every line drawn by your friendship, not to mention the regulations specified for the clones and the creed of the Jedi order. You were ashamed to admit to yourself that this wasn’t the first time you had considered him in that way, either. The crease in his brow when he focused, his gentle smile when the two of you organized a successful strategy, his voice low in your ear as he leaned over your shoulder to point out a stray troop formation you had missed—he drew you in, no matter how much you resisted. On the day you met him, his force signature reached out to yours. Since then, neither meditation nor mindfulness was enough to keep him out of your head. It was just your luck that you were certain he would never feel the same.

Your eyes flashed back up to Rex’s reflection in the mirror. You both looked away.

Rex was trained to be observant—he didn’t miss the way your eyes traced his body. Your gaze was electrifying. You were a Jedi. You had enchanted him within the first week of training, and now, Rex was certain he’d do just about anything you’d ask. You had no business falling for a shiny, yet the fire behind your eyes gave Rex hope. You treated him like a person, not an expendable soldier. With every evening you spent at his side reading tactical manuals and discussing new techniques, he found himself becoming more and more entangled with you.

***

“Cody—can we talk?”

Cody looked up from his paperwork, shuffling a large stack into place.

“What do you need, Rex?”

Rex entered the room fully, shuffling over to the desk and leaning rather awkwardly against it. Cody noted Rex’s strained expression with a deep sigh.

“It’s not the Jedi, is it?”

Rex nodded apologetically.

Cody took a deep breath, drumming his fingertips across the other side of the desk.

“You know their code, right? No attachments?”

Rex nodded again.

“Rex—vod’ika—almost every trooper I know has had a crush on a Jedi. It works out maybe one out of 100,000 times, if at all,”.

Rex’s brow furrowed.

“I know, Cody, I just—”

He trailed off. Cody shook his head with a sigh, meeting Rex’s eyes with a sad look on his face. Cody knew the second Rex had mentioned his additional training sessions with the pretty Jedi knight that nothing good could come of it. It was dangerous for Rex and the Jedi, both—Cody knew firsthand. Still, Rex was his brother, and Cody would help him where he could.

“Alright, here. Use Mando’a—natborns’ll go wild for it. And remember, you’re a man of action. A soldier. If you think they care about you the way you care about them, do something before they lose interest,”.

Rex nodded, listening intently. His head tilted in curiosity.

“Does that work for you?”

Cody smiled softly.

“Almost always,”. The smile disappeared. “And Rex?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t do anything stupid. It’s been a while since I’ve heard about a brother being reconditioned, but—” He trailed off, looking intently at Rex, before placing a strong hand on his brother’s shoulder. “Just—be careful,”.

Rex nodded, uttering a quiet ‘thank you’ before walking back out the door.

***

You leaned against the wall of the locker room, drumming your fingertips absentmindedly. You waited patiently for the troopers to clear out of the refresher so you could take a shower with some semblance of privacy. Almost all the clones had left for the barracks—except for Rex. He had lingered around the locker room today, for whatever reason. He’d been off recently, you had noticed. More skittish, less talkative. At least he wasn’t darting off to the barracks without a second glance, today. He emerged from the ‘fresher stall in the bottom half of his blacks, a towel tossed over his broad shoulders. You watched his back tense up as he reached for his blacks top in his locker.

Rex’s gaze met yours for a split second as he pulled his shirt over his head—his face was flushed bright red. You were perplexed. Rex was your closest real friend on base, and he had been acting downright strange the past few days. Did you offend him in some way? Had you managed to screw up your friendship without even saying a word? At your training session today, he had just about choked on his tongue when you got him pinned while sparring.

“Rex, you alright?”

The trooper met your gaze with a hushed breath of air that might have been a chuckle were he not so damn nervous. Cody told him to do something, right? He needed to make a move.

Rex closed the gap between the two of you with three quick strides, reaching a calloused hand up to cup your face.

“Cyare,”. His voice was hushed, almost reverent. Butterflies erupted in your stomach.

You opened your mouth slightly, but before you could respond, his lips crashed into yours. His teeth caught painfully at your bottom lip, and you jolted away with a gasp of surprise and pain.

He had kissed you.

You brought two tentative fingers to your mouth, pulling them away to reveal a tiny drop of blood. Your hand dropped to your side.

You met Rex’s eyes—it seemed as if all the color had disappeared from his face.

Rex knew he had fucked up. You were staring at him, silently, with an entirely unreadable expression across your face. This was it, he was going to get reconditioned. Cody’s words echoed through his mind. Don’t do anything stupid. And what did he do? He kissed his Jedi commanding officer, and not only that, he busted their lip open. Cody could tell him he told him so while hauling his defective shebs all the way back to Kamino.

“I-I’m sorry,”. Rex’s voice was barely a whisper.

You heard the tremor in his voice. Your heart ached, and the concern melted from your brow. Cyare—that meant beloved in Mando’a, you thought. He cared for you, too. You reached up to Rex’s face, curling your fingers around his jaw. You pulled him down to your height and into a kiss far gentler than the one before. Your lips slid softly against his, reveling in the warmth of his mouth on yours. His hands circled your waist lightly as he continued to press those soft, gentle kisses against your lips. He certainly was a quick learner. You felt his contented sigh against your cheek as you traced his jaw with your thumb. You could get drunk on kissing him. You pulled away slowly, Rex’s lips chasing yours as he stole just one more kiss from your smiling mouth.

His hands lingered on your waist, so light that you could barely feel them touching you. You rested your forehead against his. His force signature was warm and bright—more so than you had ever felt before. Rex’s unsteady voice broke the silence.

“I wanted you to know,”.

You hummed in response, your hands cupping his face as he melted into your touch.

“I care about you too, Rex,”.

His hands strengthened in their grip around your waist as he held you closer to him.

“So, what happens now?”

you searched his eyes, and warmth blossomed in your chest. All you knew was that you cared about him, and that was enough. You’d have to be careful, you noted. Pursuing this was going to be dangerous, for the both of you, and possibly painful. Your future was clouded—the force offered neither judgement nor advice.

Your thumb coasted over the apple of his cheek, and Rex let his eyes flutter closed for just a moment at the gentleness of your touch. When you next spoke, your voice was soft and hopeful.

“We’ll figure it out as we go,”.

***

Like Real People Do Taglist: @pinkiemme @callme-eds @porgnugget @obi-robi-kenobi

#captain rex x you #captain rex x reader #rex x reader #rex x you #captain rex x y/n #captain rex #ct 7567 #commander cody #codywan #clone trooper x reader #the clones #my fic

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mockingjay34 · 3 years

Note

For your au (mbv): Rex pinning for Fives (or vice versa), essentially when they are beginning to realize they love each other 🥺❤️

Hello, my dear! I am very behind on answering this, but I hope it was worth the wait!

“You’re an idiot, you know.”

Rex jumped at the voice behind him. He whipped his head around and glared at Cody where he was leaned against the wall. “Must really be like looking in a mirror then, mir’sheb,” Rex responded without heat.

Cody just hummed and smiled and moved closer to Rex. “Good to see you too, kih’vod.”

Rolling his eyes, Rex leaned into the quick hug when Cody tossed an arm around his shoulders. “Yeah, don’t get too comfortable,” Rex huffed as he pulled away. “What are you doing here?”

“Obi-Wan decided to make the jump here instead of on the Negotiator so he could plan out the next campaign with Anakin in person. I was supposed to stay behind but decided not to at the last minute. Thought I could use a change of scenery for once. Waxer could use the command practice anyways. Let the power get to his head a bit.”

Rex glanced at Cody out of the corner of his eye before leaning forward on the railing overlooking the training room again. “Sure. Because the inside of the Resolute is a karking holiday compared to the Negotiator. I’m sure it had nothing to do with that Jedi you’re all starry eyed for.”

Cody snorted and crossed his arms over his chest. “What’s the point of hyperspace if we can’t lay around and get laid? You would know if you would pull your head out of your ass.”

“I don’t have a clue what you’re talking about,” Rex responded, watching the troopers sparring in the training room.

“Of course you don’t. It’s just a really interesting training room, isn’t it?”

In all honesty, Rex wasn’t paying all that much attention to the room at large. It was packed full of bored troopers already antsy not four hours into the trip to the Outer Rim. But he knew he had already been caught before he’d had the opportunity to even defend himself. The room may have been full to bursting with clones moving every which way, but Rex was blind to all but one of them.

Fives was sparring with Echo in the center of the room. Every so often they grappled at each other and tossed each other to the mat and rolled around to gain some sort of traction. Every so often Echo would land a solid blow to Fives’s bare chest and Fives would pull back with a laugh that shook his whole body, like it was the funniest thing in the entire world. He’d open his mouth and say something Rex couldn’t hear before dropping back down and lunging for Echo again.

Try as he might, Rex couldn’t bring himself to look away. Sure, Fives was damn near half naked in the middle of all the chaos, and that was a sight Rex could appreciate any day. But, it wasn’t the shine to his skin or the strain in his muscles or the way he would curve his spine to wrap around Echo and drag him to the ground. What drew Rex in more than anything though was the soft, carefree expression Fives wore. Every time Rex pulled his eyes away to focus somewhere else, he was drawn back in by the way he seemed to glow when he laughed. Even with so much distance between them, Rex was convinced he could smell oranges when he moved his head just right and it made his breath catch in his throat.

So, no. Rex knew that no matter how much he tried to deny it, there really wasn’t any lying to Cody.

Instead of trying for some half hearted excuse Rex said, “You know what I mean.”

Cody hummed and reached into his pocket for the pack of cigarettes he kept there. He offered one to Rex and he took it gratefully, holding it loosely between his lips as Cody lit it. He breathed in deep and blew it back out again. “He’s not even 18 yet,” Rex said when Cody didn’t reply. “And I’m his Captain.”

“And yet here you are,” Cody replied, blowing smoke out over the training room, “pining after your shiny.”

“He’s not my anything.”

“Yeah? Well that’s your own fault,” Cody said. “You’re right, he’s young. Funny thing about that though, so are you even if you try to act like you’re not. And don’t give me that Captain osik. Rank means nothing off the battlefield, you know that.”

Rex hung his head and sighed. “I care about him, Codes.”

“I know you do.”

“No, I care about him,” Rex said, turning to face Cody.

“What’s so bad about that, Rex?”

Rex tried to form words and couldn’t find an answer.

Cody sighed and put the end of his cigarette out on the metal railing, wiping away the ash when he was done. “We live short lives, kih’vod. Regrets aren’t worth it.”

Rex glanced back at the troopers in the training room and caught Fives’s eyes as he looked up from his spot in the middle. The back of Rex’s neck went tense and the sensation tingled in his fingertips. “I know,” he replied, holding Fives’s gaze. “It’s enough that he’s here.”

#clone shipping #tcw fic #star wars fic #fex #alpha/beta/omega dynamics #tcw #star wars #captain rex #commander cody #fives #ba'jurir au #mhi ba'juri verde #my writing #prompts and pretty things

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methoxyethane · 4 years

Text

Reddie Fic: “Stupid and Sleazy”

For @ambitiousskychild

Richie got to his basement for movie night first, which made sense considering it was his house. Also they all had to wait to meet a few hours after school got out, on account of the fact that Eddie had track meet and Mike had work, so Richie had stalled by sneaking off to the clubhouse to get stoned with Bev, but that really hadn’t taken up that much time.

They’d only had half a joint left between the two of them so most of his high had already worn off by the time Eddie came thumping downstairs, but Richie didn’t mind. Sobriety was only a burden when he was alone, and right now his favorite person in the world had just shown up and Richie could focus all his attention on bothering the shit out of him.

There was a couch sitting on the far wall from the TV that was usually first-come first-serve, but for today Richie had already plopped himself down onto the floor in front of it and Eddie didn’t bother with the furniture in favor of the spot on the floor next to Richie.

He practically collapsed onto the old worn out rug covering the hard concrete of the basement floor, sweat still staining the back of his shirt in a V.

“Nice to smell you, Eds. Did you run all the way here from practice? You still reek of sweat.”

“And you reek of weed stank,” Eddie shot back, spreading his legs out in front of him and leaning back against the seat of the couch. “And yes, I did run all the way here. Track got cut short when Cody fell and twisted his ankle, so I had to get a little extra practice somehow.”

“And you didn’t even nurse him back to health with your sweet sweet love? Poor Cody.” Richie could not actually smell the sweat Eddie was wiping from his brow, but he kind of wished he could. The dank musty smell of his basement overpowered most of whatever other scents might have been in the air, so Richie was not able to indulge in whatever filthy fantasies of Eddie’s skin the smell might have induced in him. Pity.

But once again, definitely for the best. Richie was getting worse and worse at suppressing his attraction to Eddie as the years went on and the Losers all grew into their bodies, and it was only by virtue of his naturally filthy mouth letting him get away with any trash talk that entered his mind that he hadn’t managed to expose himself. Any time he said something lewd or inappropriate everyone just laughed it off as another joke, and thus Richie was saved form humiliation for another day.

Still, when they were all alone like this, it wasn’t easy. Eddie’s skinny frame was filling out with the muscles he’s earned from the track team, still lithe but more solid and less breakable than he’d been in his youth. It looked good on him, and he had more confidence because of it, which looked even better on him than the track shorts did.

Okay, that was probably a lie. Nothing looked better than Eddie’s legs in those short shorts. Except probably his smile, but somehow, Richie felt less gay admiring his calves than he did when he got lost in Eddie’s smile, so. He tried not to count that.

Richie also tried not to go to Eddie’s track meets. Not because he didn’t want to - in fact the complete opposite. Eddie looked good when he ran; the sweat rolling down his neck and the flex of his legs as they propelled him across the track. But most of all his eyes. He had this look on his face when he ran, a look of concentration and contentment at the same time, a look of having fallen completely into his Zone where nothing mattered but the feel of the wind on his face and the burn of his muscles as they worked, like his entire world narrowed down to his his body and the pavement and nothing else.

It made Richie feel things, made him happy to see his friend so comfortable with himself and his body but also made him… Jealous, maybe? That he wasn’t sure of what. He didn't really know what this cold black feeling in his chest was, just knew it was because Eddie had his eyes straight forward and not anywhere near where Richie was, and that was enough for Richie to make him wanna throw things at the track to trip Eddie up, just so he’d have to whip around and yell at Richie, just so his attention would be on him again.

So Richie didn’t watch Eddie run much. The sad side effect of that was that he barely got to see Eddie in those fabulous little shorts he wore to practice, but luckily for him - or maybe unluckily - Eddie hadn’t bothered to change out of his track clothes before he came to Richie’s house, and was thusly wearing said shortie shorts right at this very moment.

Their legs were only inches apart, close enough for Richie to bump his feet into Eddie’s for no other purpose than to annoy his friend. And maybe to distract himself, because Eddie’s legs were long and finely toned and right there, close enough to be able to casually rest his hand on Eddie’s bare thigh if only he had the excuse.

Eddie had managed to already get wrapped up in what Richie had been watching on the TV while he was waiting for his friends to show up, the very same show that Richie himself had already forgotten about pretty much the second Eddie had entered the room. So at least for now Richie had the privilege to keep staring at Eddie’s legs, because they were close enough to being in line of sight to the TV that Eddie wouldn’t notice he was being leered at.

Richie felt gross for a second, until he remembered the last time everyone had gotten together. He thought of the casual way Ben and Bev acted now that they’d officially gotten together, the way Ben was allowed to casually touch her legs and she only gave him a warm smile, even if she was wearing a dress or skirt and his hand landed on her bare skin.

How easy it was for them. Ben had been allowed to express his love for her practically as soon as they met, been able to write a love poem and give it to her even knowing he could be rejected. Richie didn’t have that luxury, though. Richie liked another boy, and that came with consequences. That came with shame, and it came with name-calling and ass kickings, and here in Derry sometimes even straight up murders. Richie couldn’t write Eddie love poems about how his eyes or his lips or his laugh, couldn’t tell Eddie how he felt, because even though he knew Eds loved him enough to put up with his bullshit that didn’t mean he loved him enough not to shun him once he found out the lustful thoughts Richie held for him, not to be disgusted by the mere thought of the true depth of Richie’s admiration.

Shit. He was too stoned for this kind of melodrama this early in the evening. Richie shook the depressing thoughts from his mind, and decided that it was way better to just enjoy Eddie’s company as it was then to pine over the thought of more.

“You MUST be stoned,” Eddie said suddenly. “I can think of like ten dick jokes you missed in the last five minutes of this show alone.”

“That many? I must be rubbing off on you,” Richie said automatically. “Come a little closer and I bet you could help me rub something else off, too.”

Eddie rolled his eyes and elbowed Richie in the side, but even that joke wasn’t enough to make him slide away from where Richie was sitting on the floor next to him. “Dickhead.”

“I can’t help if my junk is so big it takes all the blood flow from my brain. With how big my dick it, we’re lucky I have a working brain at all.”

“Someone told you you have a working brain? I’m sorry to break this to you, but they lied.”

Richie laughed, relaxing enough to bump his shoulders into Eddie’s. This was why he liked him so much, right there. Who else could keep up with Richie’s jokes and turn them back on his ass so fast? Well, maybe Stan, but only when he felt like it. Eddie though, his reaction timing was always perfect, whether it was with a snide comeback or a simple scoff, it never failed to make Richie feel accomplished.

Eddie went back to focusing on the TV, but Richie wasn’t able to concentrate on it. They were still alone, and Eddie’s bare legs were still right in front of him, so there was pretty much nothing on TV that could be more deserving of his attention.

Richie licked his lips unconsciously, wondering if there was some excuse he could come up with to touch them. To lay his hand on Eddie’s bare thigh like Ben could do with Beverly, without shame or fear. Was he that sleazy, though? Sleazy enough to fish for any excuse to get closer to the guy he liked?

Hm. Yes. Yes, Richie was that sleazy, he decided.

“God, Eds, have you seen your legs lately? You’re growing so much hair on ‘em, soon you’re gonna look like a yeti in those little shorts of yours.”

And with that, one hand landed on Eddie’s thigh, patting his leg idly before Richie kind of…. Left it there, and didn’t take his hand back. Just to see what would happen.

“It’s called growing up, Richie, if you had any pubes yet yourself you’d have noticed that this is natural.”

And the funny thing was, he didn’t do the completely normal thing and swat Richie’s hand away. He let Richie lay his hand on his leg, made a snide joke and just sort of… Went back to watching TV. Like it was the most normal thing in the world.

Richie consciously suppressed the shiver that wanted to run down his spine, knowing if he shook at all in this moment Eds would be able to feel it through their point of contact. Play it cool, Rich. Just keep calm and see how long you can make this last before Eddie calls you a freak.

What felt like anywhere between five seconds and five minutes passed, and Eddie made no move to dislodge the hand from his leg. Carefully, slowly, Richie moved his hand down Eddie’s thigh, the touch soft enough it could be unconscious. Then he slid his hand back up again, fingers and palm so feather light that his skin glided across Eddie’s like butter.

Eddie’s thigh was solid under his hand, the hairs thin and feather-soft, muscles hard and smooth with just enough plush give to make Richie want to squeeze. He didn’t dare, just continued sliding his and carefully up and down the length of Eddie’s thigh, waiting to be slapped away with the excuse that he was still stoned and feeling particularly tactile ready on his tongue.

Eventually, after a length of time he had no way of judging in his current distracted state, he dared to glance at Eddie out of the corner of his eye. He had his eyes still focused on the TV, but there was a light dusting of red spread across his face, a blush gone uncontained. Richie didn’t dare to think of what it might mean. Just kept gently running his hand up and down the skin of Eddie’s bare thigh, letting himself pretend that it was because Eddie didn’t just not mind his touch, but actively welcomed it.

And then, to break the tension, the door at the top of the stairs swung open and footsteps started to descend down the stairs. Eddie jerked away like he’d been burned, quickly folding his legs underneath himself and out of Richie’s reach, face burning bright red as he looked at the staircase to see who had arrived.

Mike was stopped halfway down the stairs with a blank expression on his face.

“Hey, Mike and Ikes,” Richie greeted, waving at him with the hand that had just been forcibly removed from Eddie’s leg. “How was work?”

Mike, for his part, didn’t say a word. Just turned right around and walked back upstairs, face completely devoid of any expression as he left the basement.

“G-great, now look what you’ve done!” Eddie scolded, face still burning red as he shot a glare at Richie. “You scared off Mike!”

“Doing what? Saying hello?” Richie said, playing innocent for lack of a better option.

Eddie huffed irritably at him, swatting his shoulder. “Just - watch where you put your hands, moron! You can’t do stuff like that when we’re not alone!”

Richie opened his mouth, but the words he had planned on saying were lost in favor of a startled, “So, it’s fine if we are alone, then?”

Eddie shot to his feet. “I - I’m going to go get a soda!” He dashed towards the stairs in a gazelle-like leap, shouting up at them, “Hey Mike, do you want any snacks?”

He left Richie sitting on the floor, dumbfounded. He stared at his hand, thinking of Eddie’s blushing face.

Next time they were alone, he promised himself, he’d do something even stupider and sleazier.

—

#reddie #it #it 2017

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mysticperfectionbird · 4 years

Note

For the promps, may I request 9 with codywan ❤️✨

Codywan

9. I don't love… shit, I love them, don't I?

Rex had been checking the clock every couple of minutes; he was starting to get worried that something happened to his vod. Cody rarely ran behind schedule… but, they were supposed to meet up half-an-hour ago.

Rex saw him enter and waved him down. “Did you forget that we were supposed to hang out today?”

“I remembered.” Cody looked down and lowered his voice before continuing. “It just took me awhile to find something to wear and make myself look presentable.”

“This is 79’s… most of the people here are brothers. Who the fuck are you trying to impress?”

“No one… I just wanted to get out of my armour and try civilian clothes for once.”

“You changed your hair?” Rex said, noticing that Cody’s hair style was tapered on the back and sides, but long enough on top to showcase his curls/waves.

“I just came back from an extended mission and needed to get it cut… I decided a slight change was in order. Do you not like it?

“No, I like it. Just wondering why you were trying so hard to look good.” Rex stopped talking when he realized that Cody was looking in the opposite direction and no longer listening to him. He followed Cody’s gaze to see Generals Kenobi and Skywalker making their way over to the booth in the corner of the bar. “Unless you were hoping that you would run into that guy you’ve been crushing on.”

“It has been awhile since I spent a night not thinking about the war. I thought tonight I could feel like a normal civilian and that means putting aside my duties and responsibilities, dressing up, and having a few drinks with my mate.”

“Pretty sure civilians only dress up when they are trying to attract the attention of other people…” Rex said with a smug look on his face.

“Rex, you are my best friend. And I promise that you would be the first person to know if I liked anyone.” Cody stood up and started making his way to the dance floor. “This is my favorite song and I want to dance… I will be back in a few minutes.”

Rex watched as Cody made his way to General Kenobi to ask him if he wanted to join him on the dance floor. After waiting for Cody to return to the table for twenty minutes, Rex decided that Cody was probably not coming back to hang out with him and joined Torrent Company a few tables down.

“I will be back in a few minutes he said… I am not trying to impress anyone he said…. I don’t like anyone and if I did I would tell you he said.” Rex said as he stormed into Cody’s office the next morning.

“Rex, I am busy. What do you want?”

“I want an explanation. I asked to hang out with you last night because we haven’t seen or spoken to each other in months… and I missed you.” Rex started raising his voice. “And you show up late cause you wanted to make sure that you looked sexy. Then you start ignoring me when your crush shows up and then you left me alone so you could dance with him.”

“I don’t have a crush on him… I asked him to dance with me cause I knew he liked that song and he enjoys dancing.”

“I like dancing!!! You didn’t ask me to join you…” Rex retorted.

“I thought you hated dancing in public… you have two left feet and are too afraid to embarrass yourself.”

“I stopped caring about how I looked after Fives found footage of me walking into a pipe and posted it on the holonet.”

“Remind me to thank Fives for posting that video… my men and I watch it whenever we are in need of a good laugh.” Cody chuckled before his tone and expression turned serious. “ I shouldn’t have left you alone last night… I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“You weren’t thinking. Love takes away all of your inhibitions and rational thought.”

“Pretty sure that the alcohol did that… it being liquid courage and all.”

“You only had ONE BEER last night... Can’t you just admit that you are in love with your general? ”

“I don’t like him… now can you leave me alone and let me get my work done.”

Waxer, Boil and Cody were all sitting in the officer’s barracks attempting to finish their reports. Cody hated working in silence and decided to play music from his holo-pad.

“Why are all of these songs romantic or about having a crush on someone?” Waxer inquired.

“Maybe our Commander decided that he was going to put together a playlist and share it with our general. And he is secretly asking for our input by playing it in our presence.” Boil answered. “Personally, I think the first couple of songs sounded too desperate…” Cody cut him off.

“I don’t want your opinion on anything. I just needed to break the silence and this is the first playlist that I clicked.”

“Well, it is a rubbish choice for background music. I would prefer something that didn’t distract from work and make me think of my sexy riduur every five seconds.” Waxer commented as he winked at a blushing Boil.

Boil got up and walked over to Waxer. “Is it a bad thing if you are thinking about me every five seconds?”

“Seeing as I am trying to get work done… yes.” Waxer said with a hint of lust in his voice. Cody felt like he was going to be sick watching the two of them displaying what he considered bedroom behavior.

“It isn’t as bad as when we first met and when we were pining over each other. Back then there wasn’t a second of the day that you didn’t consume my every thought… I didn’t get any work done. I couldn’t even get to sleep without dreaming of you.” Cody cleared his throat as if to remind the two of them that he was in the room and that they weren’t alone. “Don’t mind him… I think I just struck a nerve because he is in the pining stage with his boy.”

“Or maybe I am just uncomfortable because you are sitting on his lap and loudly discussing your love life in my presence.”

Waxer and Boil looked at each other and simultaneously said “We struck a nerve… maybe we should leave him by himself so he can think about getting it on with General Kenobi.”

“I don’t like him like that and will most certainly not think about getting it on with him…” Cody screamed as they made their way to the door.

Cody made his way to the mess hall for the monthly game night that is held by the Coruscant Guard for any battalion that is on world. He can’t remember the last time he went to one; but, he promised Rex he would go to make up for his behavior for the past few months.

“Codes, you missed them going over the rules. But, I can explain it to you quickly: one person draws a picture based on a secret word, and everyone else has to try to guess the word correctly.”

Wolffe stood up, picked his word and started drawing on the board in front of them. He draws a circle, two eyes, a nose and starts scribbling towards the bottom of the face.

“General Kenobi” Cody shouts.

“No.” Wolffe says as he draws an arrow pointing to the lower half of the face.

“Beard.” Rex shouts.

“One point for Rex. You get to draw now.” Fox said.

The game went on for an hour… and as they were leaving Wolffe and Rex approached Cody.

“Why did you keep guessing General Kenobi?” Wolffe asked.

“Why did you keep drawing people that resembled him? Cody retorted.

“My word was beard… no one else shouting out the first person with a beard that they knew.”

“And Bly was drawing a leprechaun…” Rex stated.

“That had red hair and a beard.”

“That is what the stereotypical leprechaun looks like. And when have you ever seen Kenobi wear green.” Rex countered.

“In my dreams… the green outfits make his red hair stand out.”

“You dream about your general,” Wolffe said.

“No, that isn’t what I meant and you know it.” Cody struggled to defend his previous statement. “I just meant I am sure he would look nice in green… he would look nice in anything.”

“You have it bad.” Wolffe commented as he walked away.

“Have what bad?” Cody ran ahead to block Wolffe’s path.

“You are in love with your general, Codes.”

“I am not.” Cody stammered.

Cody walked into his private quarters and saw Rex sitting on his bed.

“What are you doing in my room?” Cody asked.

“Hosting an intervention, but no one else showed up. They thought you would give them latrine duty for breaking into your room… I don’t care if I need to clean the latrine for a year, we need to talk about this.”

“Can you make it quick?” Cody mumbled.

“This is going to take as long it needs to.” Rex paused. “I don’t think it is healthy for you to hold your feelings in, you need to talk to someone. I have given you plenty of opportunities to admit that you have feelings for someone… but, you keep shutting me down.”

“You have relentlessly teased me for months about a crush that you think I have.”

“I don’t think, I know. I see the way you look at him... it’s is the same look I have seen amongst brothers who have said the riduurok. I see how much effort you put into your look and appearance when you think you might run into him. I know that he is consuming your thoughts and that the smallest things remind you of him. I have listened to you talk about him for hours on end. I have had to deal with you making every conversation that we have reverted back to him and his cute face.”

“I don't love… shit, I love them, don't I?”

“Yes, di’kut. Now that you can admit it, go get your man.” Rex said.

Cody ran out the room headed for General Kenobi’s private office/quarters. His door was unlocked a slightly ajar, so Cody ignored all formalities and ran inside and pulled his general into a kiss.

When they pulled apart he said, “Sir, I respect the fact that you have a code to follow and that we have different ranks that create a power imbalance, but the fact that I can‘t be with you and I have to tell myself to be okay with it is so cruel. It is so deeply cruel and sad.”

“Cody, I am sorry that you have been holding that in. The Jedi have different interpretations of the code… I believe that attachment is separate from love and compassion. That you can have a relationship that doesn’t lead to possession, obsession or selfishness.”

Cody looked up and met his general’s gaze, “what are you saying, sir?”

“I am saying that I am not against pursuing a relationship with you now that I know it is what you want.” Obi-wan said as he pulled Cody into another kiss.

#star wars #the clone wars #commander cody #obiwan kenobi #codywan #captain rex #clone trooper waxer #clone trooper boil #waxer x boil #commander wolffe #commander bly #commander fox #my writing

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teaspacebar · 4 years

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war of hearts part ii: problems, jealousy, and warmth

summary: you get sent on your first solo mission. cody gets jealous. feelings are shared...sort of?

words: 1.6k

first part is here

a/n: heheheheheh i love these bitches. the pining is strong in this one.

Cody had a problem.

And that problem had to do with one Jedi Commander.

It was not that he had an issue with you. When you were put in charge, you ran things well. The boys hung on every word that came out of your smiling mouth.

No, he didn’t have a problem with you, but his problems had to do with you. And your smile. And every time you touched him.

It happened slowly – he had barely noticed it at first.

It was a brush of arms as you walked beside him. You had taken to walking with the squadron instead of walking with Obi-Wan unless it was expected of you. The Jedi Knight never said anything, and since you could read a situation with ease, nobody got into any trouble (Cody could just imagine the looks on General Windu’s face if he saw you in the middle of a bunch of clones). You told the men stories of when you were a youngling to pass the time as you walked through the jungles of Felucia. Laughter spread amongst the ranks and you would give Cody this sunny smile that warmed his whole body.

It was the grazing of fingers when you handed him yet another one of your pastries from your baking excursions. He always wondered where you found the time to bake – or even where you went to bake.

And then there was what happened a few nights ago. Cody, who had been putting together plans with General Kenobi for the next mission, had started towards the barracks. He was done later than expected and assumed the rest of his boys would be asleep by now. Which is why he was on high alert when he heard movement as he rounded the corner to his room.

“Cody?”

His shoulders relaxed. It was you.

“Commander,” he replied, curiosity bleeding into his tone.

“I’m sorry, I thought you had finished up with Master Kenobi already.”

A beat passed, “Was there something you needed?” He left the rank off at the end. He didn’t use it as much as he ought to, but then again, you were the one who said it was merely a formality since the both of you held the same title.

You smiled wryly, looking as much like the shy woman he saw that first day in the landing bay. “Company, maybe? Care to take a walk?” He nodded his response, easily falling in beside her. The two of you left the barracks, passing a few other troopers as you walk through the halls. You were comfortable here. Cody could tell, in the way the uneasiness in your body slowly drained away as the minutes went by.

“Can I ask a question?” The words slipped from his lips. A common occurrence when he was around you, he noticed.

You hummed softly, giving him a small grin, “You just did.”

“I think you’re picking up more from General Kenobi than you think you are.” You waved your hand for him to continue. “You were outside my personal quarters.”

“That wasn’t a question, Cody.” You two slipped out onto a balcony, the furthest away from any lingering eyes. “I have a hard time sleeping. Master Yoda said that I’m trying to focus too much on everything. Then I worry, which leads to nightmares,” you trailed off, leaning on the balcony ledge. “I usually walk to clear my head. I did not realize where I was until you came around the corner. You give me…comfort.” Silence fell over the two of you, and Cody couldn’t bring himself to say anything. As if sensing this, you stood up straight, “I’m sorry, I should let you get to bed.”

“What are you worried about?”

“The war, the Jedi, our men – I think I care a bit too much,” you chuckled humorlessly.

Our men. Two simple words sent Cody’s heart beating. “The way that you care for others is why the men listen to you. It’s why they protect you in a fight.”

“I’m getting sent on a mission tomorrow. Just me and a squadron,” you sputtered out, wringing your hands. “It’s the first time I’m doing something without Master Kenobi…or you. What if I mess it up, Cody?”

“You won’t.” And he knew you wouldn’t. You could hold your own on the battlefield, and even better at making people like you. Cody was sure that you didn’t even know the power you carried.

You stared at him, a look of awe on your face. A grunt left him as you collided with his chest, wrapping your arms around him. “Thank you,” you murmured into his neck. Cody felt himself flush, carefully bringing his own arms around your waist. You both stood there for a moment, Cody realizing just how much he was enjoying having you close to him. You finally pulled away, a hand coming up to brush against the scar on his brow. “Be safe on your mission,” the words were soft, his gaze focusing on the way your lips parted.

“You too.”

And you were. Mostly.

Cody didn’t find out which squadron you had gone with on your recon mission until after he got back from his own. Juno Squadron.

The Juno Squadron was a special ops group in the 212th. Cody had only worked with them personally a few times, and the missions never went how they were supposed to. So it was safe to say that when Cody overheard Reed speaking animatedly about the reports of the Padawan Commander’s first solo mission, and that the Juno Squadron was assigned to her, he might have stormed out of his squad’s barracks before he hit something.

He was seated next to Cale in the Caf when you entered. Cody was waiting for your gaze to lock on his, but before your eyes could land on the Commander, loud cheers came from the far corner of the room. Cody narrowed his eyes as he saw one of the Juno boys – Bailey, if he remembered correctly – lift you off your feet. A squeal shot through the Caf, making his brows furrow.

“You alright, Cody?” Cale asked, shaking Cody from his thoughts.

“Yeah.”

Cale snorted in response, “Not very believable, you’ll have to try harder when you see her later.”

Cody raised an eyebrow, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Depends on what you think it means…sir.” Cale sent him a grin, before getting up and leaving the Caf with a few others. Cody watched as you waved at them from your seat in between Volts and Phys.

“He meant that you look like you want to tear the ‘Purple Boys’ apart,” Reed chimed in from his spot at the table. “They took care of her, just like we would have. She seems to fit right in with them. That’s better than the alternative, right?”

Cody wanted to believe that, but the churning in his gut wouldn’t let him.

It wasn’t later that evening that Cody got to see you. You had sent him a message to his datapad to meet him at the same balcony you had walked to a couple weeks ago. Dressed in just his blacks, he followed the same course he remembered the course you took. As he stepped around the corner, Cody saw you, leaning against the ledge and staring out at the city. It was as if you had sensed him because you had crossed the balcony with fast strides, stopping right in front of him. Your hands were out in front of you, curled into fists. As though you wanted to grab hold of him, but you were holding yourself back.

Cody took a moment to look over you, pausing on the bacta-patch that was on your arm. It had been covered by the shirt you had worn earlier, so he hadn’t noticed. “You got hurt.” One of his hands came up to brush against the cloth.

“It’s nothing that Phys couldn’t fix,” you replied, smile on your lips. “It’s feels nice to know that you worry, though.” He tried to scowl at your teasing tone, but it was hard when the comforting warmth he always felt around he made its way through his chest. “How did your mission go?”

“As expected.”

You hummed in response, Cody watching as his hand descended down your arm, fingers grazing your own. Your hand caught his, intertwining your fingers together. His breath caught in his throat, and as he started to look up he realized how close you were. “I missed you,” you whispered, thumb caressing the back of his hand. “The calm, too. You’re bright, warm, steadfast. It’s easier, with you.” Your head lifted, eyes locking on his. Cody’s neck and face burns, and he took a step back. Your hand was still in his, expression of understanding on your face. “It radiates from you, more now than usual.”

“That easy for you to tell what I’m feeling, huh?”

“When you feel things loudly, yes.” He’d have thought you were teasing him again, if it weren’t for the soft look in your eyes. “If it bothers you–”

“It doesn’t,” he squeezed your hand.

“Good.” You sat down on the ground, tugging on his hand so he would join you. You talked until you could barely keep your eyes open, head falling onto his shoulder. A smile formed on his lips as he picked you up. You curled into his chest, breath fanning across his neck. The door to his room slid open, and he set you down on his bed. Affection swirled in his chest as he watched you bury into the sheets.

Yeah, Cody had a problem.

Not one he felt like he wanted to fix, though.

#war of hearts #commander cody x reader #padawan!reader #swtcw #star wars the clone wars #commander cody

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glimmerglanger · 4 years

Note

(Public is fine) Am I weird for kinda wanting to know more about Obi-Wan bedding down with Panaka now? Like not even necessarily in a spicy way, although I AM curious, but like. I want to know his Thoughts on the subject. This obviously traumatized 20something asking him for a heat-partner: does he do it out of friendly/comradely feelings, or more? Do they cross paths again in during TCW and Panaka casually drops that he waited for a call to partner him the next year but never it never came??

aces-to-apples

said:

Like, Panaka is a solid dude, and just ONCE I want the miscommunication to be that he was just being a Polite Alpha who didn't want to pressure the omega that he was interested in, in whatever way. Maybe it's a cultural thing, at least oNaboo, not to bring it up or ask about a repeat, er, performance? Kind of a "what happens in heat stays in heat unless brought up by the omega"? I dunno, I just love the dude and want to know more about him... And Bruck, still... What ever happened to that guy..?

Oooooooh, I will add this to the “outside POV scenes I’m going to write.” But, before that, yeah. By that point, Obes had been going through this for almost a decade. He’d just... gotten used to just assuming it was a one-and-done and didn’t even think to swing back around the following year. (Bruck comes up again in a bit, but did NOT meet his canonical end).

MORE SLO!AU ASKS UNDER THE CUT, some dealing with chap 4.

Anonymous said:

shmi!!!!! and the girl!!!!!!! suddenly i love tuesdays!!!!!!!!

I had to pull Shmi out of the fridge, I just had to. :D And everyone who called the hazel-eyed girl’s more accurate parentage... :D

Anonymous said:

cody: *arrives* // your slo readers: *10 minute standing ovation*

SOOOOOON

Anonymous said:

I just have this terrible feeling that Anakin is going to tell Palpatine about the pregnancy and things are going to get very dicey, I'm supposed to start work soon but I can't stop thinking about this chapter

zippermouthed.png

Anonymous said:

this might be tmi (so I TOTALLY understand if you don't answer) but I was wondering how, um... anatomy? works? in the slo!verse? a/b/o stuff doesn't always work for me (though I am LIVING for slo!) coz I tend to get stuck on the practical realities of WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING IN YOUR BODIES?!?! I thought I got how it worked in slo! but then obi-wan got pregnant again with satine and... now I'm a little bit lost. (I love you, slo! is amazing, thank you for your good good work)

AHA, that is (one of the) thing(s) with abo, isn’t it? I honestly figure that some alphas and omegas are just sort of... population safety nets. They have the equipment to play whatever role is necessary in the process, with all necessary bips and bobs. Plenty of species keep their stuff hmmmm tucked away until it’s in use. Kind of figure that’s what’s going on with Satine. But honestly, I never think about it too much because it’s just all ???

Anonymous said:

i just realized - there was a line in chapter 2 about how it was the last time qui-gon would kiss obi-wan for seven years. did the math and uh that's naboo??? pain??? also i am incredibly soft for the background quinlan reactions to write into the background, pining quinlan be still my lil heart.

IT SURE WAS. T_T Great timing for another kiss by that man T_T

Anonymous said:

i’m dumb as a rock and didn't think twice about the hazel eyed girl, but from what everyone’s commenting, if it turns out that qui gon interpreted his vision wrong and put obi wan through all that physical and emotional pain for nothing.... i’m gonna (well actually i can’t do much considering he’s fictional and this isn’t canon) but i’m gonna be SO MAD

I’ve been WAITING to answer this properly :D I really did only see one person comment about it, though, so I don’t think you were floundering around too much. Imagine Qui-Gon misinterpreting a vision to the detriment of others. T_T

Anonymous said:

I just read ur slo fic and i haven't stopped crying for the past hour. My ribs hurt my eyes are puffy and i have a throbbing headache rn. It's so well written but at what cost. Can i just request a little au where the hazel eyed girl lived or maybe she dimension travelled to meet slo!obi and his heart could finally bloom with joy and pride instead of just S A D N E S S. Also i just realized it's only the 2nd chapter. Shit.

And I’ve also been waiting for this one! I’m so sorry about all the angst, there’s really a lot (but the bulk is, well. Past, at this point. Obi-Wan’s much better at handling his emotions). And, as for the hazel-eyed girl... .well.

#glimmer replies #ask me anything #Slo!au #A Slow Fall Towards Grace

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yeah-klave · 4 years

Text

The Sexual Awakening of David Joseph Katz

Chapter 1: Fun and Games

Series summary: A multi-chapter journey of self-discovery and sexual awakening.

Chapter summary: In the wake of a storm, The Umbrella Academy siblings and their friends pass the time playing truth or dare, and slowly, secret feelings are revealed.

Genre: Hidden feelings, mutual pining, developing relationship, eventual smut (although none in this chapter).

A/N: This is set in a nothing-too-bad-really-happens modern AU. The characters are all in their early twenties (I’m picturing adult!actor versions of them and Dave is the Cody Ray Thompson version!). The siblings are all still living at home, relatively happily, and Dave, Lila, Sissy and Carl are friends who hang out with them at the Academy.

Word length: 3.3k

Warning: Mention of canon compliant incestuous feelings, but nothing explicit and there won’t be any actual sibling incest.

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of The Umbrella Academy characters or settings.

*******************************************************

The tail end of a storm was blowing over the city. Dirty cotton wool clouds hung low in the sky and the angry gunfire of rain had finally begun to ease into a soothing staccato patter again the windowpanes. The muggy heat of the last month, that had previously pressed against the skin like wet clothes, had broken at last.

Inside The Umbrella Academy, the gang lounged, languid in the quiet calm that the change in the weather had brought: Luther staring out of a window, Diego and Lila sitting cross-legged with a pile of balled up foil candy wrappers competitively aiming at a coffee mug abandoned on the floor, Carl and Sissy curled in a chair, Ben reading, Five scribbling in a notebook, Vanya and Dave sitting at the counter playing a quiet game of cards and Klaus reclining on the sofa, one leg thrown over the back and his head resting in Allison lap who was absently playing with his hair.

“Looks like it’s finally easing up out there,” Luther commented.

“Umm,” Allison agreed. “That was a pretty bad one.”

“I wonder how long the power’s going to stay off,” worried Vanya.

“Don’t you have a back-up generator in this mansion?” Lila quipped, elbowing Diego then lobbing a balled-up foil wrapper across the room where it landed directly in the mug. “Yes!” She turned to Diego and pulled a face. Diego frowned.

“We could play a game,” suggested Sissy. “My sister and I play one like Truth or Dare, but it’s just Truth. We could try that?”

“You know what would be better that Truth or Truth, Sissy?” said Carl smirking, “Truth or Dare.”

“Okay,” Sissy laughed shyly, “I guess we can be a bit more adventurous!”

“Well as it’s your idea, Sissy, do you want to go first?” Luther asked kindly.

“Okay,” she nodded, “truth.”

The others paused for a moment, thinking.

“What’s your… guilty pleasure?” Allison asked finally.

“Oh, that’s a good one. Um, let me think. I’d probably have to say, daytime tv murder mysteries – Murder She Wrote, Diagnosis Murder, those yellow writing made-for-TV films. So cheesy, I know, but there’s something so comforting about them. I like to watch them curled up on the sofa with hot tea and some biscuits. But Carl teases me about them all the time. Don’t you, Carl?”

Carl scoffed. “Yes, because they’re brain-rotting drivel!”

Vanya frowned. “No, they’re not! I love those shows too. I think that was a great answer, Sissy.”

Sissy smiled shyly and ducked her head trying to hide her blush.

“Right,” she replied after a moment, “my turn to choose. Allison, truth or dare?”

“Truth”

“Okay, same question – what’s your guilty pleasure?”

“Long showers” Allison replied straight away. “Taking my time to wash my hair, using my favourite coconut body wash, just standing and feeling the spray on my skin and all the way to my scalp, letting my muscles all unwind under the press of the hot water. Washing the day away. Then getting out and wrapping up in a big fluffy towel. Bliss.”

“Well aren’t we all being sentimental today?” Klaus grinned rolling his eyes, “I thought truth or dare was code for ‘tell us who you secretly fancy and what you’ve done in bed’.”

Dave stomach flipped over and he concentrated very hard on the cards in his hands.

“Shut up Klaus,” Luther said.

“I guess it’s what you make it,” Diego laughed, throwing a foil ball across the room, where it hit the rim of the mug and bounced off.

“Ha,” gloated Lila.

“Okay Klaus,” Allison cut in, “Truth or dare?”

“Dare.” Klaus replied instantly.

“Right,” Allison challenged, “I dare you to run a lap of the courtyard, as fast as you can.”

“Fine,” Klaus sighed dramatically, unfolding himself from his position on the sofa and standing up. “Kind of boring, but fine. I mean, it’s still raining pretty hard and I’ll get soaked. And these pants are not designed for running in.” Dave flicked his eyes up, caught sight of Klaus sticking his leg out in a pose, displaying the curve of his backside in the tight pants and looked away again quickly, his face heating up.

“But whatever,” Klaus huffed. “I’ll do it, and then I’ll get to pick next.” He looked around the room, glancing at the others then caught Dave’s eye and smiled mischievously. Dave’s stomach clenched again.

Klaus casually ran his fingers through his wild curls. As ever, his hair loosely settled in a slightly chaotic disorder that Klaus hoped looked carefree and haphazard, but which his siblings knew he actually secretly practiced in front of the mirror. He wandered across the room, flicking Ben’s ear on his way to the door. Ben swatted at him.

Dave watched Klaus go, his eyes furtively following the strip of flat, toned stomach visible between the hem of Klaus’ cropped tee and the waistband of his low-slung tight leather pants.

Slowly, everyone got up from their various positions around the living area and tramped after him.

At the door to the courtyard, Klaus turned and flashed a quick grin at them all, raising his fingers to his temple in a mock salute. Then, he wrenched the door open and lurched off, sprinting out into the rain, his long legs making him look a little gangly and uncoordinated.

The others watched from the doorway as he hurtled around the far side of the courtyard and then began jogging back in the direction of the door. A couple of times his boots skidded on the sodden ground and he nearly overbalanced, but he just managed to right himself in time. The others laughed from inside.

“Graceful,” Ben teased.

“Shut up,” Klaus barked as he crashed back through the door in a shower of water droplets. The others jumped back quickly.

The pounding rain from earlier had eased considerably, but it was still falling in steady sheets. Klaus was soaked through, water running from his hair in rivulets and the fabric of his tee sticking to the toned muscle beneath. Dave caught himself staring at the water droplets running from the sharp jut of his jawline down the column of his neck and flicked his eyes away guiltily.

Laughing, Klaus pushed the wet hair from his face, then proceeded to shake as much water off as he could.

“Hey dude!” Diego laughed with him, “stop trying to shake yourself dry like a dog and just get a towel like a normal person!”

Klaus grinned again, but before setting off in the direction of the bathroom, he carefully toed off one boot, then the other, then reached down and in one fluid motion, peeled the tee off his body and over his head. As he did, Dave’s eyes traveled up the expanse of glistening, rain-slickened skin and taut muscle, his mouth suddenly going dry.

Klaus wrung out the tee as best he could through the door, then hung it on the back of a chair to dry off. He then padded away in search of a towel. The others drifted back into the living room to their previous positions.

Dave poured himself a glass of water from the tap in the kitchen, then headed back to the living room and sat down on one of the sofas.

After a few minutes, Klaus wandered back into the room, rubbing a towel briskly over his head, then flopped down on the sofa next to Dave.

“Right,” Klaus smirked. “My turn. And rather than picking one person, I’ve got a dare I want to challenge you all to take part in. Everyone game? And before you say anything, anyone that backs out is just asking to be called chicken for the next year or so, or until I forget. And yes, I’m looking at you, Number One.” Klaus flashed Luther a cheeky grin, his eyes twinkling.

The others all eyed each other warily, but nobody said anything.

“Okay then,” Klaus carried on, “I take it everyone’s on board?” The others nodded reluctantly.

“Then I dare everyone in this room to play three rounds of spin the bottle – round one, quick kiss; round two, proper kiss with tongue; and round three, full on seven-minutes-in-heaven-style make-out sesh. No backing out, no skipping, no passing your turn. No matter how awkward, you just have to lock lips with whoever you get paired with.”

Dave felt the atmosphere in the room thicken. He could see everyone shooting looks at each other.

“Klaus!” Five said in disgust. “You do realise that most of the people in this room are siblings, right?”

“Yeah,” Luther added in a wavering voice, “that would just be…. wrong.”

“Not biological though,” Allison added.

Luther looked over at her quickly, but she was shuffling the deck of cards, determinedly not catching anyone’s eye.

“Of course, you’d say that, Chicken Hargreeves,” Klaus quipped.

Luther bristled.

Lila raised an eyebrow and looked up at Diego, “What do you think? Do you dare?”

“Oh, you’re bringing it are you, huh?” he jokingly squared up to her. “Well if you’re in Lila, then I’m in”

“Yeah, probably because you’re desperate for the bottle to pair you two up,” teased Ben. “That way, you’ve finally got an excuse to make out with her, rather than bottling up all your sexual frustration and letting it out by trying to beat her at everything,”

“Trying and failing,” Lila added with a grin.

“Shut up, Ben” Diego snapped.

“What, are you feeling called out, Number Two?” Lila joked.

“Oh, you wish.” He growled.

“Maybe I do.” She raised an eyebrow at him.

Diego looked lost for a moment, his eyebrows drawing together slightly and his eyes flicking across Lila’s face questioningly.

Klaus nudged Dave’s leg with his knee, catching his eye and inclining his head slightly towards Diego and Lila, grinning and raising an eyebrow. Dave grinned back and rolled his eyes, but inside his heart was hammering against his chest.

“Okay, we’re in” Diego said, still staring into Lila’s face. “Everyone else?”

“Fine,” Luther huffed.

“I guess so,” said Allison.

“Okay,” Sissy nodded.

“Me too,” Vanya agreed.

“Y-yeah,” Dave stuttered finally.

“You’re all immature idiots,” said Five. “There’s no way I’m taking part in this.”

“Me neither,” Ben added, “I’m out.”

“Chickens!” Klaus called.

“Funny,” Ben added, “I’d much rather be called a chicken, than be told to make out with one of my brothers or sisters.”

“Spoil sport,” Klaus waved a hand dismissively in his direction.

“Yeah, Sissy and I aren’t playing either,” Carl rested a hand heavily on Sissy’s shoulder.

“Actually,” Sissy said, shrugging his hand off. “I do want to play.” She got up and moved to a sofa nearer the others. Carl frowned, looking cross.

Allison put the cards down and headed over to the bar to retrieve an empty bottle from the recycling.

Luther ran his hand up and down his forearm nervously. Dave absently watched the movement, aware of the pulse of blood he could suddenly hear thrumming in his ears and trying to ignore the warm weight of Klaus on the sofa next to him and the single, tiny point of contact where Klaus’ knee brushed his own leg.

Allison returned and set the bottle on the floor.

“Okay, so I assume we spin twice for each round then?” She looked up at the others. At their nods, Allison twisted her fingers, setting the bottle to revolve on the floor before it slowed to point at Lila. Lila’s eyes sparkled and she looked over at Diego, raising an eyebrow.

Allison leaned forwards and spun again and this time the bottle landed on Luther.

Diego’s eyes narrowed and he swallowed quickly. Luther closed his eyes, steeling himself. When he opened them, he glanced quickly over at Diego, a question in his eyes.

“Well get on with it then, Number One,” Dave said gruffly. “No backing out, wasn’t that the idea.” But Dave could still hear the edge of hurt in his voice.

Luther pulled himself to his feet. Lila stood, opened her arms wide and jokingly said, “Come ‘ere then, loverboy”. She leaned forwards and planted a kiss on Luther’s mouth with an over-exaggerated smacking sound. She then pulled back and grimaced, wiping her mouth with the back of his hand. Luther laughed weakly and sat back down, his eyes briefly glancing over in Allison’s direction.

“Well that’s round one ‘quick kiss’ done,” Klaus said excitedly. “Next we’ve got ‘proper kiss with tongue’.”

Allison lined up the bottle again and spun. When it finally stopped, it was pointing at Sissy. Dave heard Carl let out a cross grunt from his position across the room. Allison reached forward and quickly spun it again. Dave glanced over to Vanya and saw her eyes fixed on the bottle. And perhaps he was imaging it, but with the fierce expression on Vanya’s face it almost looked as though she was willing the bottle to land on a particular person. Please, just once, her lips seemed to mouth. When the bottle stopped, it was pointing directly at her. A flash of relief seemed to pass over Vanya’s face, quickly followed by guilt.

Dave looked to see if anyone else had noticed, but nobody was looking: Diego and Lila were still staring at each other, Luther and Allison were looking anywhere but at each other and when Dave turned, Klaus’ eyes were on his own face. Dave opened his mouth to say something and Klaus’ eyes quickly flicked up from his lips to his eyes. Dave closed his mouth and turned back to the room, lost for a moment.

Across the room, Sissy had eased herself up and walked over to where Vanya was standing nervously. She reached her hand out and trailed her fingers down the side of Vanya’s face, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. Carl leaned forwards, face set, elbows on knees, his eyes glued to the girls. Vanya swallowed and licked her lips. Sissy leaned forwards and gently pressed her lips against Vanya’s. After a heartbeat, Vanya pressed forwards, her lips moving against Sissy’s and her hand going up to card slowly through Sissy’s silky hair. Sissy cupped Vanya’s cheek, her thumb gently stroking along the cheekbone. Dave saw Vanya’s lips part and a flash of tongue before the girls’ mouths slotted together again. When they finally pulled apart, they kept their heads close, foreheads touching, breathing each other’s air for a final moment. Vanya brought her hand forwards and ever so gently traced her thumb over Sissy’s bottom lip, then, as though suddenly catching herself, pulled it away suddenly, breaking the spell of the moment.

“That,” Klaus declared, “was hot.”

Vanya hummed absently in response, a strange expression of mixed longing and sadness on her face.

As Sissy moved back to her seat, Dave saw the dazed expression on her face and the slight frown around her eyes. She sat back down, avoiding Carl’s fierce glare, but Dave saw her furtive glance in Vanya’s direction.

“Well,” Allison exclaimed, “last round.”

“The last pair are really going to have to up their game to top that performance,” Klaus joked.

Dave looked over at Klaus, trying not to lose himself in the captivating twinkle of his green eyes.

Allison spun again.

Dave watched the bottle rotate, vaguely aware that the thudding of his pulse in his ears had returned. And finally, he swallowed hard when he realised the bottle had come to a rest pointing directly at him.

Allison lent over and spun the bottle again.

Time slowed for Dave, his eyes following the mesmerising twist of the bottle on the floor, vaguely aware of the sound of his friends making drumroll and crescendo noises, hearing the thud of his pulse in his ears, feeling the pounding of his heart against his ribs and, above all, the warm point of contact on his leg from Klaus’ knee. When the bottle finally slowed, the thump in his ears grew to a deafening roaring and he slowly looked up to stare into the face of his friend, who, catching his breath, suddenly looked just as wide-eyed.

“Serves you right, Klaus,” Luther teased lightly. “Setting this dare as a way to make fun of the rest of us. But it looks like you pulled the short straw.”

“Something like that,” Klaus croaked.

“Remember,” Diego cut in. “You’ve got to make this seven-minutes-in-heaven level steamy!”

Klaus ignored him and shuffled closer to Dave on the sofa.

“You sure this is okay?” He asked quietly.

Dave swallowed and nodded.

Klaus brought their bodies even closer, then glanced down nervously, suddenly overly aware of his naked chest. He was so close, Dave could see the fan of Klaus’ lashes against his cheeks, smell his slightly minty shampoo, the clean freshness of his skin and also something deeper. Something that reminded him of freshly cut grass after the rain. Even from here, Dave imagined he could taste the sweetness of Klaus’ skin. Dave leaned forward slightly and breathed in. And that was when Klaus looked up, their eyes met and the rest of the world faded away, and for the first time, Dave saw his own secret longing reflected back at him in Klaus’ eyes. Eyes that looked more nervous and hopeful that he had ever seen them. And just like that, Dave let his walls come crashing down like a house of cards and he leaned forwards until he met Klaus’ lips with his own.

Klaus’ eyes fluttered shut as he melted against Dave, mouth parting and hand coming up to rest on Dave’s neck, lost in the slow push and slide of their lips and tongues.

Dave leaned into the hand on his neck; the feeling of the fingertips on the sensitive skin setting off sparks of fire along his veins. This, he though, yes, this. He brought a hand up to bury in Klaus’ wild dark hair, feeling Klaus quietly hitch in a breath when he gently tugged. Klaus’ mouth caught Dave’s bottom lip and Dave almost groaned as he felt the soft scrape of Klaus’ teeth as he slowly traced them over the over-stimulated skin. Dave felt the smallest tweak as the corner of Klaus’ mouth twisted upwards in the tiniest ghost of a grin. Dave pulled his lips away to pepper a trail of feather light kisses along Klaus’ neck and jawline, ending just below his ear. His chest rising and falling heavily, Klaus tilted his head to give Dave more access and, encouraged, Dave tentatively took the lobe of Klaus’ ear into his mouth and sucked. Klaus’ breathing faltered and suddenly Dave could feel the sweet bite of blunt nails raking down the back of his neck. Klaus brought their lips back together and this time, Dave could feel the build and the urgency behind Klaus’ movements.

Someone cleared their throat.

The moment broke and Klaus and Dave pulled back slightly, still only inches apart. Their eyes met and the look they shared was somehow so familiar, but also so new, so foreign. Dave thought he saw joy, excitement and anticipation written on Klaus’ face, but also a hint of fear. Klaus’ shoulders heaved as he tried to steady his breathing. Quickly, his eyes flashed down to Dave’s lips and then back up again. Dave raised an eyebrow at him and Klaus replied with a small shrug of the shoulders and a sheepish, almost apologetic little half smile. It was then that Dave’s face cracked into the wide smile of sheer, unbridled happiness and a second later Klaus was grinning too, and winking at him, and taking Dave’s hand in his own and squeezing. Dave squeezed back. Then Klaus and Dave turned, hand in hand, to greet the surprised reaction of their friends and family.

#klave #klaus hargreeves #dave katz #klaus/dave #klaus x dave #the umbrella academy

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fourletterworld · 3 years

Text

Getting Lost - Was a Big Brother

Cody, Myself, and four of our best friends hiked the fantasy trail of Big Sur, some 7 miles up into the sky. As night approached, we tucked down off the trail into a small camping area and safely lit a fire near a stream. Here we pumped drinking water into our bottles through a filter. I remember feeling so physically tired, it was the only feeling in me. We made dinner in flame light then made our tents in spotty shadows. It was cold, and we'd fallen asleep quickly.

The next day was crisp and beautiful. We'd made breakfast, coffee and tea and talked a while before heading out to walk off the path into the wilderness. We jumped across the creek where boulders stood out of the shallow depth. After the six of us got across my friend Bob passed out micro doses of mushrooms from a cloudy plastic bag. We chewed them up and continued walking into the trees along the creek. Nothing of note crept into my head, but I have a snapshot of looking back at my friends through the trees and seeing sunlight spill through the canopy onto the green forest floor. There was an Irish glow among the rich tree bark and moss.

Someone mentioned that it looked like we were in an old Skittles commercial. Slow unconscious laughs built as we smiled half-lucidly at one another. The effect began to slow some of us down until we stopped at a clearing and briefly sat. Cody and two others decided to keep hiking while I stayed with the other half.

We talked for a while and observed everything within eyeshot. I felt the stillness of a tree growing through my head. The misty sounds of nature began to strike out with colors of awareness. Suddenly I was conscious of the bird calls, and not in the ordinary way when their beauty serves as the backdrop to one of my moods. Instead, I heard their sounds as though they were strangers with first names I didn't know. They were communicating primal information with the worry of survival in their tone. They weren't having a pleasant day in the wild, they were locked in the grind of their reality. I felt sad for their consistent stress. The concern to live up to nature's expectations is so much to put on a creature. It wasn't their fault.

The plants around me gently moved in a soft breeze. Their limbs reached up to the skylight like a baby wanting its mother. They were as alive as starfish, having fixed themselves to the trunks of larger somber giants. The distant sun sat and burned like a far away look. A look that only time will snap someone out of. This sad poem is why we fall in love, I thought. It all hurts with the innocent anticipation of a loose tooth not ready to come out.

After a time of being unusually quiet in the presence of others, I crept away by myself down to the trickling stream we'd been following. In some sort of dreamy trance, I gently touched my face as I looked down into the water. There was a troubled curiosity in my tremendously large pupils. It was the little kid unwound inside of me; the one I'd twisted hard into a man. Currents pulled at my reflection like smeared paint clinging to an image. Shards of light formed on the folds of water like cuts.

The tired old question walked through my thoughts: "who am I?" This time, it didn't feel like the ethereal philosophical question. It was more like I was trying to make sense of the thing I saw reflecting in the water: The dark pool-eyed organic machine, the adult and the teen, the arrested development, the ill-defined aged of an angst ridden masculine spirit.

I've applied stereotypes to myself my whole life: being a punk rocker, a musician, an artist, a romantic, a good person, a drinker, and all sorts of things that maybe I'm not. They're all just lines of rope I've thrown out which I follow after to see where they might lead me. Being a big brother was something more than that. It was beyond me and rooted in the physical world. It was an anchor that'd dropped down as soon as Cody was born.

These thoughts swam through that river until concern began to gather and pulled me back into the moment. I'd begun to feel some kind of tension pulling at the line between Cody and I. He had hiked away and was possibly too far from me, and I started to wonder if he was okay.

"Hey guys! How long have they been gone?!" I shouted up the small ravine. "They're fine D." my friend Dave called, probably anticipating some psilocybin anxiousness. His assumption that I was paranoid was warranted, but I felt rational in my fear and knew it couldn't be articulated under scrutiny. I walked a short way in the direction the others continued hiking and looked. I didn't see anyone so I began calling Cody's name with my loud voice into the wilderness. I heard the emptiness of the hills as my voice faded through them, and a terrorizing feeling of finality landed. The fear was rooted in the possibility of never getting him back.

What if they'd eaten more mushrooms than I had and got confused and lost? I was worried for all of them, but I was responsible for my brother. The anchor was somewhere beneath dark water and I didn't know if the rope had been torn. I began making all sorts of promises to some God that I never kept. I started to feel the knot in my throat.

There was darkness growing in the mountains. Tall pine shadows loomed and collected over the retreating fragments of sunlight. The pleated hills began to look treacherously prosaic, as if no new word would ever come out of its ravine. It would never unearth my little brother or anything else ever again. I called again, deep and loud, and like a miracle transmission I heard Cody faintly calling back just as loudly from somewhere off in the trees. His voice, when he yelled, sounded just like mine.

"Oh, fucking Christ, thank god", I sighed.

Moments later he'd walked through the trees. Bleach blonde hair and emerald rimmed owl eyes, smiling at the corners. Cody came to me for an instinctive hug. "I'm sorry Dust" he'd said. He could hear the fear in my voice even at its highest threshold of volume.

"Don't be sorry, don't be sorry," I replied as I hugged him tightly. Later, shrouded in twilight, I sat next to him at the fire. I tried to express how tangibly worried I was for him. I’d felt him extracted from my life in that moment, and how terrified that made me.

I'd gone on longer, exhausting my point. The mushrooms hadn't completely waned and the panic continued to play, but the cause for fear was so present it was like I had suddenly felt through the material of time. I’d somehow grasped the shape of that fucked up day that waited for me years ahead. I had no way of aligning that sort of rationale at the time, but in hindsight it’s the best way to explain the reality of that scare. It never felt like it was in my head.

Cody listened, patient and contemplative with a lit cigarette. At some point he interjected, "Yeah, but Dust, I'm fine. Everything's okay. Everything was always okay the whole time. You were just worried over nothing".

He said this smiling, as though to model what emotion we should had both been feeling in that moment. He then leaned in and wrapped his arms around my shoulders and I took his two clasping hands with mine and closed my eyes. He saw the concern but not my fear, but I knew I had to concede in expressing my worry for him. I'd always have to learn when it was okay to get my point across and when to let life be life. I had to let go of control.

I've always had problems with control because it eludes me. My life has always been out of my control. Not really caring to embrace my strengths and desiring my weaknesses has put huge cracks throughout my being. My self-hood is like broken up continents, and my goal is to form it all back into Pangea. I move something to the center and something else floats away. It's like I don't have room for the whole being I want to be. I fall in love, I become dependent. I find peace, I become boring. I get inspired, I become manic. I have fun, I lose my way.

And I don't want balance. I see balance like a constant sacrifice. I want the choice to be all in, on one side or another, the good and the bad all at one time. I want the full glass now and no glass later.

That is, I had my mind made up in this way until Cody passed. Once I lost him, these fragmented continents weren't just staid floating islands. Gravity suddenly shut off, and they lifted from their watery globe and suspended in disorientation. I'd seen all parts of myself lift from the anchor of my brother and carry out above me and into the atmosphere. Now there is no center to draw things back into, and there are some pieces leaving my weak gravitational field forever. I lay in bed afraid of this new upheaval, not knowing my feelings anymore, and watching them continue to go and go and go.

They've been ripping away from me so consistently and slowly over this last 16 months that the pain has become ambience. My spirit has been tuned to the lowest universal frequency of heartbreak. The longest waves of sadness.

But I keep it together. All of life is too short to let anyone else get tangled in this chaotic orbit of mine, and I think I've become just strong enough to keep it in during the day. Meanwhile this slow-moving shrapnel drifts along, finely opening new aspects of a heart I'd never known. There are things that feel possible in ways that surprise and sometimes shock me. There are days now where I get out of the shower and rub away the fog on the mirror and remember looking into the water. Now it isn't a question of who I am, but who am I becoming, and will any of this ever land again? Did the universe set my heart so it can heal in alignment or is my true nature lost in some ethereal flux?

There's an animal body looking at me and the human has been knocked into a daze. The eyes in the coal mine sockets remind me of those prosaic hills, with the person behind the wheel having retreated inward to crippled shadowy memories. They don’t hold anything to the same beautiful standard any longer. It’s all become possible with nothing inside of myself to protect anymore. The gate has been left wide open and as I stare at my eyes I wonder if I'll ever really come back again.

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