#i love all of them so much and i wish i could've fit a million more moments here | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

angelshimaa · 5 months

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━━ 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐖𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃 𝐆𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 ;; 𝐕𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒

⤷ feat. bakugou, kirishima and todoroki <3

✧ cw :: reader is dead ✨, gn!reader, angst :))

✧ a/n :: angst angst angst angst YAY I love writing angst, not sure how to feel about shoto's though :/

katsuki simply disappears. there's not much to stick around for— he can't bear the look of pity his friends cast him when they believe he can't see them. so, he's curt when he talks, and he locks himself within the four corners of his room whenever he can— but the heart-tearing feeling of what he thinks is being weak doesn't drop at his door. he finds weakness in how he tries to envision every word you would say to him, holding onto every single detail of your face, and how you'd cushion your words of comfort. he's ashamed to admit it— as if he's not allowed to grieve— but he sits in the stabbing silence of his room and buries his face into the crook of his bent arm, holding onto how warm it was to be held by you, remembering every note of your laugh and the glint in your eyes when you teased him.

katsuki seems to be dead himself, with how ghostlike he is. he's never felt weaker, and the only person who could arm him with strength from so much as a smile has left him.

eijirou shatters at every little thing that reminds him of you. a mere mention of your name, the smell of you, a voice that happens to remind him of yours: it all has his heart throw itself against his chest— as if it could find a way to run to you— and the way it collides and shatters over and over again never fails to bring him a wave of sickness. seeing your face among his collection of you in his phone has tears pricking at his eyes— eijirou's cried oceans in your name and if it would bring you back, he'd cry a million more.

his deterioration is alarming— dark roots growing in as if his hair mourns you too— and all he has the energy to do is feel time drag on so slowly it aches. he knows you'd hate seeing him like this, placing a hold on his own life to clutch onto the memory of yours, but he can't find the bravery to try and cope with the hollowness he can't harden against.

shoto appears as cool as ever. it's off-putting to see him seem so okay— so unaffected by your absence. but, nobody sees the twisting and tearing of his heart and how deeply it overwhelms him. grief isn't something he knows how to grow accustomed to, and the devastation feels like poison he doesn't know how to let out. shoto can't cry over your absence— he doesn't know how. loving you was a feeling you'd guided him through, holding his hand with steady patience, and he wishes you could've helped him learn how to mourn you properly too.

he finds guilt in it— in the inability to sob over you like your friends and family do, but the dull ache eats him up just the same. he whispers his apologies whenever he's alone, and he hopes you know just how much he loves you— and how nothing can fit within the you-shaped home you've built within him.

✧ — thank you for reading !! rbs and feedback are greatly appreciated <3

taglist (fill in this form to join!!) :: @maeby-cursed @katsukismrs @himikoslove @afairywithacrown

#— signed ⋆·ʚ⁺#bakugou x reader #todoroki x reader #kirishima x reader #shoto x reader #mha x reader #mha angst #bnha x reader #mha x you #mha x y/n #bakugou angst #shoto todoroki x reader #kirishima x you #bakugou x you #todoroki x you #kirishima angst #todoroki angst

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timeskip · 7 months

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Gon, the "christ you are extremely fucking selfish, DIE" meme, not being a monster and being a child etc etc this is rambly and me being sad about him and how flawed he is etc etc

I actually wrote this at like 2 am last night so when I say it's rambly I do mean it LOL

On one hand I feel like Gon pretty much fits the

"Gon: I simply wish to prove my worth and not fail people ever again

Some people: Christ you are extremely fucking selfish. DIE.

Gon: ...........I am 12 years old"

meme thingy. He doesn't deserve the shit he's given. BUT ALSO THE. THE.

LIKE I LOVE HIM. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. THIS IS MY SON. BUT ALSO HE REALLY DOES THINGS WRONG. HE IS NOT A MONSTER FOR IT HE'S A MIDDLE SCHOOL AGED BOY IN GRIEF WHO HAS BEEN GIVEN A TASK THAT WILL INEVITABLY KILL HIM IF HE MAKES ONE WRONG MOVE BUT LIKE. I DO GENUINELY THINK HE FUCKED UP WITH THREATENING KOMUGI THE WAY HE DID. I just feel like him being in pain and lashing out at Pitou in a very notably cruel way because it benefits Gon himself even if it's holding someone's life above Pitou's head is just. extremely painful but also very complex. He doesn't care! About Komugi's life! As long as Pitou does what he wants!!! Even if his reasons are understandable it's still morally grey!!! And like yes if he didn't threaten Komugi he Would Have Died but also I don't really think he was thinking of his own life :( which just hurts more :(

And like. We know EXACTLY why Gon feels this way!!! We know how he feels about Kite and his hatred of Pitou and the way he holds both of their behaviors to a standard that he won't... let them stray from. Essentially. Kite is the golden hero type who can never die! So he must be alive! Pushing Gon further and further into his denial. And Pitou MUST be a monster! And like don't get me wrong I love Pitou but Gon IS right, they were killing millions of people via the selection and would've killed many many more if the extermination team hadn't come for them. But they are also capable of CARING FOR PEOPLE and that's what makes Gon react Like That.

BBBBBBBUT. GON IS ALSO (TO A DEGREE, POSSIBLY UNCONSCIOUSLY) SUICIDAL AT THIS POINT. Whether or not he realizes that Kite is dead, he's still taking on this task Alone with the same recklessness as EVERYTHING ELSE HE'S DONE. And like... he does blame himself. And he believes there's nothing else except this task, this single thing he has to do for Kite... to save Kite, because in his mind Gon is the reason Kite is gone :(

And we know he THINKS there's a way to save Kite but also gahhhh all his complicated feelings have been piling on top of each other this whole arc and his pain, during his initial confrontation with Pitou compresses itself towards Pitou. That's not a good thing, but he tunnel visions HARD on his goal, and the only way to reach that being to use Komugi and Pitou's weakness (so to speak) against them... no I don't think Gon was thinking clearly. He was thinking logically, but also that was all filtered through his rage, because he can't connect the version of Pitou he has in his head with the one in front of him, LIKE ANY KID WHOSE MORALS AREN'T DEVELOPED AND FIGURED OUT AND PERFECT. He KNOWS Pitou killed Kite, so he HAS to blame them, because who else is there to blame except himself?

(Important to note to me that he never ONCE thinks of blaming Killua. Even after Killua runs away with him when Kite dies, he trusts Killua SO MUCH. Even when he hurts Killua's feelings he's never blaming him, he's just been made upset by the fact that he can't unleash his anger NOW and Killua doesn't understand, but... he trusts Killua. He needs Killua. Yeah.) And this self blame is SO STRONG. He feels like he COULD'VE STOPPED EVERYTHING but he couldn't because... he wasn't powerful enough. He IS a kid without enough power but WITH rage and determination that he shouldn't have IN THE FIRST PLACE, and now he has to go against Pitou. No matter what wrongs he did, Pitou has done so much more, and Gon is just in so much pain that all he can think to do is a) try to fix it and b) distract himself from how much he hates himself,, But at the same time, the things he does wrong ARE selfish. They're all in service of this goal that ends up not mattering at all, because Kite is already dead.

So it's like. Well of course I think people are wrong for thinking of Gon as a selfish monster or a bad friend (or at least, if he is a bad friend he's trying to get better and clearly deeply regrets what happened) when he's literally just a child dealing with moral dilemmas that he shouldn't have to deal with, threatening Komugi for his own life... but also. I don't think we can brush this off as just "I simply want ___" because it's NOT that simple. He's caught up in this too!!! He's forcing Pitou to beg for Komugi's life so Pouf doesn't jeopardize it!! Gon is going to die for it, willingly and knowingly, and that's TRAGIC it's a product of his rage and lack of knowledge and understanding and it's also not something easily boiled down. To me.

He's a child character hated for being a child who makes childish, shortsighted decisions, yes, but also he's... caught up in not caring for other people's lives (ie: Komugi) when it comes to the life of someone HE cares about (ie: Kite) because he CANNOT UNDERSTAND PITOU and it's just. so complex and fascinating and horrifying that Gon is put into this position. And then it breaks him, completely and utterly. He breaks below the weight of it and it hurts me so badly!!! I just want to protect him, but watching the lead up to him breaking is horrifying too because I know he's giving into some terrible impulses driven by understandable emotions :(

#i do not think anyone understands him. it's okay gon i will protect you from the haters #while also acknowledging that you're flawed. and a child. and were put into a bad situation. and (starts crying)

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unnie-lili · 2 years

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Hello! Could you do a txt reaction to idol s/o going on tour? Thank you!

hello anon 💜 thank you for the request! hope you enjoy~

TXT's reaction to their idol s/o going on tour

Soobin

sends you good morning texts every day. no matter the time zone you're in, he'll set up an alarm to make sure he doesn't miss it. calls you before your shows to encourage you, telling you how great you are and how much your fans (and himself) love watching you perform on stage. had matching necklace charms made for both of you to wear when you're away, just so you have something to hold on to when he can't physically be there for you. gets a little bit emotional every time you facetime him, feeling so proud of you, but at the same time he wished you were here with him too. books a ticket for one of your shows in Korea, surprising you as he stands first row with the biggest smile on his face.

“you didn't have to come see me, i know you've been super busy lately, soobin...”

“and miss the chance of seeing you perform live? never in a million year.”

“thank you, it means so much to me, you know that, right?”

“i'll always be there for you, and i'll never be too busy for you either, darling. ”

Yeonjun

sends you flowers after your performances. calls you afterwards to make sure you got them, leading to endless phone calls into the night. always wants to help you get used to the tour life, sharing his tips and tricks whenever you feel overwhelmed. makes sure you eat well, stay hydrated and get enough sleep every day. shares embarrassing moments that happened to his members during the day to cheer you up. wants to hear all about your day, loving how excited you get when you talk about your passion. sends you pictures of every dog or cat he comes across in the streets, knowing it puts a smile on your face. always ends his phone calls, facetime calls or texts conversations with “miss you, love you.”

“did you get the flowers?”

“i did, thank you, yeonjun. they're beautiful.”

“not as beautiful as you, babe.”

“you don't have to do that, you know? you send me flowers after every other show...”

“you deserve it, baby. you're a star, you're amazing, and i'm here to remind you as such. i can't wait until you come back and i'll be able to give them to you in person.”

Beomgyu

always there to cheer you up. he sends you memes to make you laugh and relax after a hard day. loves when you send him pictures of you throughout the days, complimenting your outfits or the snippets of practices he sees. packs a few of his favourite hoodies and t-shirts for you to wear on tour when you miss him. if your time zones allow it, he'll facetime you before going to bed so you can both fall asleep together. texts you multiple times a day saying he misses you. sends you updates from his own life as much as he can. when you feel tired or sad, he'll film encouraging and comforting videos of himself talking to you, just so that you can save them on your phone and watch them as many times as you need.

“i miss you, gyu.”

“miss you too, sweetheart. how're you feeling?”

“tired, i guess. i still can't believe i've come so far.”

“i can, you're amazing. wanna see a funny video of Toto throwing a fit?”

“always.”

Taehyun

late night calls. no matter how busy he is or how late it is for him due to the different time zones you both are in, he always calls you after your performances. listens to you when you voice your concerns or stress related to your tour, comforts you when you feel homesick. he's always ready to drop everything he is doing to facetime you when you need to see his face and hear his voice. he is so proud of you and how far you've grown. reminds you every day that he misses you and loves you dearly. shamelessly promotes your tour on his lives and social media accounts, praising your talent and hard work to anyone who will listen. he will always be your #1 fan and supports you through thick and thin.

“how was your day, love?”

“could've been better, i really miss you, tae.”

“are you free right now? give me a call, i miss your pretty face, too.”

Huening Kai

had a plushie made just for you, with a sound box in its belly that plays a recording of his voice telling you how much he loves you. calls you at random times of the day, or night, forgetting the time zone difference, just to hear your voice. wrote you a pile of letters for you to read after each of your shows, with a picture of both of you attached to each letter. always hypes you up, praising your performances and telling you how proud of you he is. loves to facetime you in the mornings, seeing your sleepy self get ready for the day makes his heart melt. has spoiled a few of your show outfits during lives, as well as the date of your next comeback, but you can't be mad because you know he can't help himself.

“i can't believe you told your fans about the name of our next album.”

“i'm sorry! i just get so excited when you give me spoilers, angel, i'm so proud of you and it just happens!”

“i know, kai, don't worry. you're too cute for me to even be mad at you.”

“i can't wait to see you again... have you read today's letter? it's my favourite of the bunch.”

“you say that for every letter, kai.”

i really enjoyed writing this, thank you for reading! you can send me requests via ask if you'd like more of this 💜

#txt #tomorrow x together #txt x reader #txt fluff #soobin #choi soobin #soobin fluff #yeonjun #choi yeonjun #yeonjun fluff #beomgyu #choi beomgyu #beomgyu fluff #taehyun #kang taehyun #taehyun fluff #hueningkai #hueningkai fluff

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mzjmesa · 3 years

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Out Loud | Chloe Decker

She was a good detective. Is. The pride of the office, the officer praised here and there. Your partner. Your bestfriend. Detective Chloe Decker. It wasn't because of her smart, genius mind that attracted you to her, no. Well, sometimes, anyway. But it could've been alot of reasons, loving Chloe Decker. And you would've loved any other reasons— to make this easier, to make the feelings disappear sooner. Because whatever the attraction was, it was unprofessional— Chloe never did unprofessional. And you fear if you couldn't hold it any longer, she'd run away from you.

You can't bear that.

But you loved Chloe either way. You loved her eyes, her kindness, that bright and knowing smile that goes with her eyes, you loved the way her lips part when she's about to say something defensive— you loved her. You loved her the most when she knocks at your door and asks how you're doing. You loved the late night talks and laughs about freshmen days which was rare, because she never spent so much time in highschool, she got unending stories about it anyway. You loved the way she listens. You loved her. You loved Chloe Decker. And as she passes by your desk, to the man she likes, you reminded yourself that it was wrong. Wrong because you were supposed to be happy for her.

A knock on your desk drifted your thoughts away, Dan. “How are we doing?” he asked, if he'd caught you staring enviously at Chloe and Lucifer, he hadn't mind.

“How are we doing?” You repeated stupidly, still hungover from yesterday. Which by the way was Chloe's fault, you just wouldn't admit it to yourself.

Dan shrugs, “Yeah? I sent you files to look at, remember?”

Oh.

You shake your head as though it would help you focus on the present and tried to remember where you had placed the papers. You checked your drawers, trying hard to block out Chloe and Lucifer's voices. You busied your hand flipping through dozens of papers, vividly remembering the file's name.

Jonathan Flinn's. Ahh. Case closed for 2 months, there wasn't much evidence of the murder, but the majority linked to him, and eventually the court pronounced him guilty. There had been questions left unsolved, and if Espinoza wasn't up to anything, it would've been left at that.

You sighed, “Have you talked to Chloe about this?”

“Yeah,” He looked past your shoulder to where Chloe was, then back to you. “she thinks it's a bad idea.”

Of course she did. You did, too. That was a thing between you two, something about your guts always telling you the same what's what. That's why you were partnered with her, and you would've loved to continue being one (although truth be told, you still were in papers anyway) but she'd found a consultant, a batshit crazy one at that. Lucifer Morningstar. Always telling himself he's the devil, going on and about his everyday life like anyone gives a damn, and always making everything about himself. If he wasn't charming, and a ‘friend’ of Chloe's, you would've hated him. Most times you did. But times when Chloe was down, he was always the first to cheer her up. You used to be the one doing that, until he came.

“You should listen to her, Dan.”

“Oh c'mon! I would've agreed with Chloe and wouldn't have come to you if it weren't so important. His mother is my god—”

“—mother. Yes, yes, I know that, Dan. I know you think this is a good idea to pay her back, too. But it's not, trust me. Trust Chloe.” You exhaled, feeling the weight of her stare on your back. “It could go worst anyway, what when we can't find any evidence or if we do, worst case scenario is it'll only lead to him. Again. We'll just worsen his situation.”

Dan sighed, massaging his jaw with exasperation because he knew you were right. And also because as much as he pretends not to care too much, he does. You loved that about him.

As you heard footsteps behind, you handed back the files to Dan who hid it behind his back, masking his irritation with a smile to Chloe.

You ignored her, lingering your eyes on the missing button of Dan's shirt.

“Ella found some prints, we haven't identified it yet but it's likely our lead.” Chloe started just behind you, and you knew Lucifer was beside her as much as you hated it. “In the meantime, Dan? I'd like to discuss to you about the Flinn case, Lucifer and I went back to the crime scene yesterday. We found nothing.”

Dan frowned. “I thought you said it was a bad idea.”

“I know, I know. I... ugh... well I went over it again, anyway.”

A small smile creeped on his face, and you were almost sure his eyes were watering when Lucifer jumped on the conversation about his father, bla bla bla. You couldn't care less. Chloe did, and that should be enough for Lucifer. She'd always been enough for you. You bit your lips, wishing you could busy your hands with something. Anything. But your desk was on your back, and oh, Chloe, too.

It felt immature and all, but you were hurting just knowing they were together, seeing them would break you.

“I'll check in on with Ella.” Chloe announced, “(Y/N)?”

“Are you having a stroke Miss (L/N)? Staying still like a trained robot, you're scarying me— and believe when I say I rarely get scared.” Lucifer added.

Oh you believe alright. And robots are trained?! Trying to hide your feelings with a forced smile, you turned around, making sure you weren't going to make an eye contact with a certain detective, and immediately grabbed a random paper and pen you can hold— scribbling anything. Anything at all.

“I'm alright.” You answered after a beat or two, still unbothered to look. Who would want to, honestly.

Chloe cleared her throat, whispered something to Lucifer, and then bid goodbye. It was then when you looked at them walking away. Lucifer's hand on her back, Chloe looking small beside him— your chest aching the same, if not, more.

You're definitely not gonna look again.

You had a week off work, and you'd almost fell to your knees thanking God when the lieutenant told you. You needed it more than you needed Chloe, which proves just how important it was— Chloe had been. Still is, by the way.

It was 8 am, by now Chloe would be at her desk, examining or making reports, or on a crime scene with Ella and, Lucifer. You snapped out of your mind, reminding yourself you'd needed the vacation because work and particularly Chloe had been stressing you out and very much so hurting you.

You'd hit the beach, go to the mountains for the view,— you didn't wanna hike though, you needed rest not making sweats— visit your sister and niece, and then finally bake while blasting Taylor Swift because admit it or not, you're much broken than your grandmother's vase.

When the water was hot enough, you took a bath and dressed. A peach-colored tank top that comes along with a brown mini skirt and a coat was your outfit for the day. Only, the coat reminded you too much of Chloe's. She liked coats. And that coat, back then warning you that she'd steal it eventually. So you changed with other coats, just didn't fit well with the shirt and skirt, so you gave in and left your hair untouched and untied. Grabbing your pouch and your gun— a licensed one, just in case. And opened your door. You would've preferred the bright sky and fresh air of the morning in LA. But Chloe Decker was standing there, fist on air as if she'd been ready to knock.

You froze.

Were you having a stroke? Most likely.

“(Y/N).”

“Chloe.”

Wasn't she supposed to be at work? You didn't mind either way, but it surprised you still, she hadn't been visiting much since... Lucifer. Everything's just been different since he arrived, not in a good way for you.

You stepped aside, not saying anything since you figured out a human wouldn't understand any word that comes out of your mouth. She went in, instead of sitting on your couch like the old days, she lingered on the living room, standing and looking at you.

Most times you hadn't mind.

She started, “How are you?”

“I'm good.”

“No, (Y/N). How are you?”

You didn't know what to say. Or why she'd ask a question as that. “I'm not—”

“Do you like me?”

What.

Your face must've given the shock, because she answered your unasked question. “Dan said some things. I'm-I'm not— you're not transferring, are you?”

Oh you're definitely gonna choke the life out of Dan. But knowing him, he wouldn't have spit it out too easily. He was probably drunk and didn't mean it. Still, you wished you said it to Chloe yourself. About the liking and transferring.

You remained silent, reading the expression on Chloe's face. Was she sad? Upset? After years of knowing her, you would've known right away. But now you couldn't. And you fear you might've forgotten the every detail of her face, too.

“(Y/N)...” Her voice gave out, carrying every sadness within. “Why didn't you tell me?”

“About what?” You answered stupidly in a whisper, fearing that if you came into your senses everything would feel too real.

“About everything! About— about your feelings for me. About Seatte. About why you've been so far from me!”

“You have been far from me, Chloe.”

She frowns, and you knew millions and billions and gazillions of questions where popping in her mind.

Tears in your eyes were forming, and you hated it, all of this. She wasn't supposed to know at all. She wasn't supposed to know you had immature feelings for her. Wasn't supposed to know you were transferring atleast 'till next month. But Chloe wasn't dumb, and you should've known that.

Chloe swallowed the lump in her throat, her breathing heavy. “We could've talked about it.”

“We haven't talked much at all these days because of—” you cut yourself off, rolling your eyes at how sick it feels. You hated yourself for it, but you continued anyway. “Because of Lucifer.”

She exhaled. “Lucifer and I are complicated.”

“I know that, Chloe.” You said firmly, meeting her gaze pitying you. Of course she pities you. “I also know you like him so much. I know you've been crying when he fake married that Candy. I know you've been sick worrying when he can't answer your texts or calls. I know you've gone lengths trying to understand him. I know. I know so much so that I didn't wanna be so selfish and tell you things you didn't wanna hear because it'll make your complicated relationship with Lucifer even more complicated. I fucking know. And I loved you too much.”

Chloe's tears were beginning to fall, one by one, slowly. And it hurts you to see her like this. Especially because you know you caused it.

“It was never my intention to push you away. You're my friend— can't we just stay like this?” She asked in a soft, breaking voice. And if it wasn't Chloe you would've said yes because people are easy to move on from. But it was indeed Chloe and she was... not like anyone you know. She was a missing piece of your puzzle. Only, you have never been a piece of hers.

“I love you, Chloe.”

It was weird, saying it out loud, to her. You never thought you could, knowing you were a coward than every cowards combined.

You did though, and that must've pulled something. Because Chloe approached you, side hugged, and then left.

So much for a vacation.

You spent the night crying.

Chloe Decker spent hers with the man she loved. And you were never that man.

#chloe decker x reader #chloe decker #lucifer morningstar #lucifer #netflix #lucifer morningstar x reader #lucifer x reader #wlw #angst #angsty #fluff #hurt/comfort #hurt no comfurt #hurt comfort

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shotosgaychangemymind · 3 years

Text

_____________________________________

One day

Oikawa x Iwaizumi

T/W: suggesting suc!de/major character death, angst x10

(I'm sorry for your emotions :))

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Iwa-chan, one day you're going to fall in love with me," Oikawa said as he strolled along the sidewalk next to a quiet street.

"Yeah right, Shittykawa. You've got a personality that's impossible to love," I shot. Never in a million years did I think he was going to take that to heart. It's Oikawa after all, everything just rolls off his back like a duck in water.

That seemed like forever ago, now. The days had blended together ever since the proposition was made, my mind running in circles trying to figure out where everything went wrong.

When Oikawa had said that, I never really thought anything of it, as it was kind of just his personality. He would joke like that from time to time, claiming everyone was going to praise him at some point. I hadn't thought about it much, until that night. Laying in my bed, Oikawa on the floor next to it, I found my gaze shifting to him. My thoughts were going a million miles a minute, trying to figure out what was going on.

Since he had put it out in the open, I started noticing all the little details about him and our friendship. His soft features, the way his eyes lit up when he noticed I had come into the gym, how is body always found itself right next to mine. It had seemed so normal before, but it all started to look more like a relationship as I thought about it.

But, I realized I wanted it to look like a relationship; his words haunted my brain, making me want something more. I fought against them for such a long time, trying to convince myself it couldn't be true.

"One day, you're going to fall in love with me."

In the months that followed, I drifted towards him more and more, letting him mess with me how he does without retaliation. I never complained when he called me "iwa-chan," nor did I ask him to stop messing with me. I let him rest his head on my shoulder when he was tired, cry in the crook of my neck when we lost, and comb through my hair with his fingers when he saw fit.

It was my way of telling him what he said was true, without actually having to speak it. Voicing my feelings out loud wasn't something I let myself do in this case, horrified of what could happen if I did. After all, he had said it as a joke. He didn't really expect me to fall in love with him, but here I was, heart aching over my best friend.

Just as planned, he never figured out I was in love with him. It hurt to see him in other relationships, looking back at me and asking for advice. It hurt to know that somewhere in him, he might feel the same love for me, but we would never let each other know. There was too much at stake, too many memories to lose if we weren't as right as we thought in our assumptions.

I took every opportunity I could to touch him; hug him every time he seemed down, push his hair out of his face after he had messed it up in practice, grab his hand to drag him away from a group of fans. Every brush of his arm against mine when we walked home was something I cherished more than I could've ever imagined, engraving the feeling in my skin.

I should've told him. I should've risked it all just so he would've known.

"Iwa-chan, one day you're going to fall in love with me."

"You've got a personality that's impossible to love."

Now, I'm gripping onto his letter for dear life, all of his feelings written on the page being soaked in my own emotion-filled tears. The handwriting etched onto the paper expressing his desire for love and his inability to find it.

I should've told him; should've held him a little longer everyday, talked to him a little more. But, he's gone now, and nothing is going to bring him back into my life.

I placed my own letter atop the stone that adorned the hill, Oikawa's named carved into the rock. My handwriting expressed every single word I wish I had said and didn't get to. The only difference between ours was that mine wasn't a goodbye.

"One day, you're going to fall in love with me."

#haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu #hq angst #angst #this is so sad #oh god oh god oh god #major character death #oikawa tooru #oikawa x iwaizumi #one shot #i didn't mean for this to turn so sad but it did #and i'm not mad about it #this is revenge for lazychickensoup and all their angst #iwaoi #hq fanfic #haikyū!!#haikyuu!!#fanfic

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gossipgirls · 2 years

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oh i totally agree with you on chair and treacherous, it fits them insanely well. i feel like begin again really only works when the couple join the show later (like brulian in oth) so it would be really hard for any gg ship to fit. would you do the same thing with ships/characters for folklore (or any other album lol)?

it's in my s1 chair playlist! the entire second verse is so crazy for them. and begin again is so cute for brulian 🥺

sure, i'll do folklore!

the 1: serenate (i made a gifset of this), but MAJOR rufly vibes too. a bigger dair fan than i would understandably love this song for them, and i do think this feels like how dan would always think about her. "i guess you never know, never know, and if you wanted me, you really should've showed."

cardigan: chair (again, made a gifset), especially imo in light of her s5 arc. but this song mainly screams van der baizen to me, because she knew him, leaving like a father, running like water... ugh. "you put me on and said i was your favourite."

the last great american dynasty: i edited this in response to one of the most galaxy brain requests that anybody on this website has ever gotten––the rhodes women! "free of women with madness, their men and bad habits, and then it was bought by me."

exile: serenate 3x22-s4. it really suits serenate's "right person, wrong time" angst and that dull, anticlimactic, disappointing way in which they ended (which was... pretty on-the-nose for serenate, as far as s3 goes). i also think of danessa with this one, but it would be more them if dan had actually like... seemed to care at all when they broke up. also, rufly? "it took you five whole minutes to pack us up and leave me with it, holding all this love out here in the hall."

my tears ricochet: chair in 3x17... "cursing my name, wishing i stayed, you turned into your worst fears."

mirrorball: this song is so serena it hurts. i also made an edit for this. this makes me soooo l3k2;423ljr2orj2lrl. "i'm still on that trapeze, i'm still trying everything to keep you looking at me."

seven: i think the nostalgia of this is so blair; that feeling that you peaked long ago, that you've been as good as you're ever gonna get. which is so tied up with her relationship with serena in ways i'm too tired to express, but... it's a blairena love song on some level. "i used to scream ferociously any time i wanted."

august: serenate and nobody but serenate ever. there has never been a more accurate, more perfect song for serenate. every word is them. for so long, nate was really just... SO CONTENT TO LIVE FOR THE HOPE OF IT ALL. a year and a half later and it still makes me go UGGGHHHHHHHHHH. i made a gifset for this too. "wanting was enough, for me, it was enough to live for the hope of it all."

this is me trying: this song could be from the perspective of literally any character, honestly. blair (i was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere), chuck (could've followed my fears all the way down), nate (maybe i don't quite know what to say), dan (my words shoot to kill when i'm mad, i have a lot of regrets about that), jenny (i got wasted like all my potential)... but mostly, i always think of serena. and i always think of this as her song to blair. "i didn't know if you'd care if i came back, i have a lot of regrets about that."

illicit affairs: i mean, serena and tripp is the obvious answer, since they're the show's only big, full-fledged affair plot, and the condescension mentioned in the bridge definitely fits. but i don't really wanna give tripp this song that i love so much, so i’m gonna give it to s1-2 rufly! "it's born from just one single glance but it dies and it dies and it dies a million little times."

invisible string: okay, so similar to what the ask here says about begin again, this song only really works with couples that meet later in life, so serenate, despite being the main ship that imo has the truly sweet, easy vibes that this song demands, is out. dair can suit this one nicely. and rufly, maybe. "were there clues i didn't see?"

betty: nate and blair is pretty obvious here (especially with august being serenate), but there was some discussion last summer about this as a 2x01 chair song. my favourite interpretation would be blairena. :') regardless, baby blair is clearly a certified BETTY. "i'm only seventeen, i don't know anything, but i know i miss you."

peace: there's something to be said here for chair's whole "we could never be boring thing" for sure, but that's not really the core of the song. i really see this as a potential serenate song, not really because we actually saw them deal with topics like this (though we did see the roots of this in 3x14), but because i feel like if they'd gotten back together and been endgame, this would have been the most compelling and mature direction in which to take them. nate being so easy and sweet and loyal and serena feeling so... Not That and coming to terms with her self-destructive instincts and the fact that she is way more a hurricane human than she likes to think lol. BLAH, IT JUST WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE IS ALL. "your integrity makes me seem small, you paint dreamscapes on the wall, i talk shit with my friends, it's like i'm wasting your honour."

hoax: chair, big time. "don't want no other shade of blue but you, no other sadness in the world would do."

the lakes: this is kind of serena's lifelong dream, finding the right person to run away from it all with. so, van der baizen. "i don't belong and, my beloved, neither do you."

#answered #anonymous

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starry-milk · 2 years

Text

[ 15.01.22 @ 2:17am ]

dumping my belle thoughts here, gonna be all over the place

ok ok ok so belle? belle

honestly the beginning was pretty hard to follow. between the opening scene where she's already a u-user and the part where her mom dies and she joins u, it's hard to decipher when everything takes place. there's no like explicit "4 months ago" or timeskip to show the timeline so i was a bit confused for the first like 20 minutes

god, the lack of logic is only coming to me now. i was so caught up in the initial euphoria of finishing it and the "separating reality from the universe of the movie/show you just watched" stage. like realistically, how on earth would shinobu have known that suzu was belle? in the scene where she gets unveiled and everyone is in the old elementary school, he isn't seen wearing the u-headphones. he's just looking off of the screen. so from that, there's no way he could've really known, unless he has a pair and wasn't wearing that but that's unlikely. i don't even know if it was that useful for the plot? i don't know. i get it was interesting for the story but come on :/ also for some reason, i didn't really think it fit for kamishin and luka to be in the classroom, but that's just me

ok the animation? the regular anime-style animation was fine. subpar, definitely, but it didn't take away much. the 3d-style animation is where this movie really shines for me though. the scene where everyone sings together after belle is unveiled was so beautiful though. like all those lights (hearts?)? god, i got genuine chills. reminded me a lot of the lantern rite scene in genshin. but anyway, yes i loved the 3d-animation.

the music? best part, i'd argue. maybe. absolutely beautiful composition and choice of singing voice for suzu/belle. definitely will be adding a few of the main songs to my jpn playlist.

ok another part that iffed me was the various age gaps? for example, hiroka and mr terada (?), one of the choir ladies in high school and that 8th grade boy, and suzu and kei. now suzu is in high school, obviously. seems like a senior? judging by familiarity w kamishin, and he was revealed to be a senior. kei seems to be on the younger side, middle school or first year at most. it obviously wasn't explicitly revealed that suzu and kei got together at the end of the movie, but judging by the "i love you"'s said, you can infer from that. overall, age gaps iffy but eh, i can deal with it

what else what else

oh! tropes. ok so for the beginning half of the movie i really thought it was going to be one of those "unknown world beauty and the beast type of trope but it turns into childhood friends" trope but i was pleasantly surprised to find that it wasn't. am i upset? meh, not really. i wouldn't have minded suzu and shinobu together, is all.

for a while i really thought he was beast. i thought he had this whole emotional complex and dead mom, and he loved suzu but couldn't reveal it, that stuff. i'm probably wrong, but i think that the production team was initially like "oh let's make shinobu the beast" for the first half of the movie, but then thought that was too cliche so they made it the kid only seen in one or two scenes. completely out of left field

god it's really hard to get my thoughts down my mind is going a million miles a minute, i'm overstimulated, listening to music, really itchy, and there's a bug in my room

ok i do appreciate the touch on child abuse though. and the autistic representation with tomo but that is completely my opinion and most likely wrong.

ok i know it's only a movie, but i really wish they could've given us more. i want to know what happened after belle was unveiled. did suzu blow up on the internet? was she still able to use belle as her AS? what was the story with kei and tomo's mom? was tomo the small child suzu's mom rescued years ago? did suzu and kei get together? what happened to them after that? did they stay in contact? or did suzu and shinobu get together? did they just stay friends? what's the deal with shinobu?? does he have a dead parent? was he a u-user and just isn't seen in-world? so many questions, but no answers :(

i can say that i want a sequel, but i'm not sure if it would enhance it or take away from the special feelings of a stand-alone movie.

ANOTHER THING THAT BOTHERED ME

that sun image at the end that was so obviously taken in real life and not drawn/rendered. like i think that ruined the ending a lot. it's one image. not even animated or anything, just slapped on there. it would've been so much better if it was at least drawn/rendered out and not taken in real life.

hmm, what else. i am still very much overstimulated. listening to the soundtrack rn and it's nice

i think i might change my rating from a 4.5/5 to a 4.

it's very much like a barbie/disney movie in that you know it's not objectively the best movie ever. considering the animation, storyline, plot, logic, and everything. but it still brings about so much joy and happiness that you can't help but love it

ok i think those are all my thoughts

it was really nice to get those all down. i don't really... have anyone to talk to at the moment so it's liberating being able to go off, albeit to myself on a blog no one knows about.

but in any case this movie made me happy and stim a lot, despite my criticisms

#ramble #little things

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ahgaseforeternity · 4 years

Text

Professor Park

This will be a series because who doesn’t love the idea of Jinyoung as a Professor.

IT WAS THE MIDDLE OF THE SEMESTER AND you were just starting to get the hang of waking up super early in the mornings. Lucky for you, there was a coffee shop on campus. You would order the same thing each time. A iced coffee, heavy on the cream and sugar. The sweeter the coffee, the better. Each time you ordered it with a flaky croissant, that just about melted in your mouth.

Just thinking about it as you were walking to campus, made your mouth water. You were going to be a tad late this morning but you needed a strong coffee and a full stomach if you were going to get through classes today.

Because your first class was with Professor Park, who for no apparent reason, loathed you. You have never understood why. Ever since you walked into his class on that first day, it's almost as if he's been out to get you. To see you slip up or fail. Too bad for him, you were determined to succeed.

You thought of Professor Park then. He seemed so young to be teaching at such an elite school. So young, and extremely handsome. He was all any students or professors could talk about. Your best friend would ask you question after question about him, and you didn't ever know what to tell her. While he might be on everyone's list for most gorgeous, you knew better. You knew that deep within those dark eyes of his, a demon was resided.

It gave you chills just thinking about it.

As you walked inside the shop, your senses soothed at the fresh smell of coffee being brewed. There was only one person in line, so you claimed the spot behind them. Your eyes met the broad shoulders of the man in front of you. He was wearing a tan colored wool trench coat. The coat looked a tad familiar, but you just shrugged at the thought. As you came to stand before the glass display, you saw with utter horror that there was only one croissant left.

You groaned, wishing you had woken up on time. You crossed your fingers that the man in front of you wasn't interested in the yummy pastry. You kept your eyes glued as the man stepped up to the counter, and the cashier handed him a jet black coffee with ice.

You studied the man's hands as he forked out some money from his coat pocket. His hands looked so masculine, with long fingers. The kind of hands that you’d want to hold. As if they would fit perfectly in your own.

You started tapping your booted foot on the ground. You were growing antsy. Just before the man was going to place his money on the counter, he waved his hand to the display case. You held your breathe.

No.

NO.

You watched in dismay as the worker pulled the last croissant from the case, bagged it, and then handed it to the man before you. You hung your head in defeat. Why couldn't you have gotten here soon? You could've been enjoying that delectable croissant right about now.

Instead, of the man in front of you who was going to be having a very good morning. You lifted your eyes trying hard not to cry. It's just a croissant, it's just a croissant, it’s just a yummy, delicious croissant.

You inhaled and was about to exhale a very dramatic sigh, when the man that stole your croissant turned around, meeting your eyes.

Your sigh turned into a gasp.

Professor Park stood before you with his very, very pleasing symmetrical face. His stylish glasses were donning his nose. He was wearing a navy blue knit sweater underneath his trench coat and you wished with all your might it could've been anyone else.

You would've taken the devil himself over the surprised face of Professor Park. The surprise soon turned to a unfeeling sternness that you were accustomed to.

"Y/N, I see your gonna be late for class. First time?"

You glared at him. This man was vile.

"Hello Professor Park, good morning to you as well." You gave him your million dollar smile. He hated when you met his hastily with kindness.

A fake kindness, but a kindness nonetheless.

You watched his full lips twitch. You hated staring at Professor Park for too long. Because the longer you stared the harder it was to find a flaw. The man was stunning. Sometimes it hurt to even look at him.

Like right now. Instead, you glanced to the paper bag he held clasped in his hand.

"The croissants are the best here, you made a good choice." You exclaimed, even though you were wishing every foul, evil thing to come upon this man for stealing the very thing you cherished.

He lifted the bag up. He scanned your face, and slowly reached for the pastry. "I've never really liked croissants all too much."

He didn’t even like croissants? This man had to be Satan himself.

You bit your lip to keep from drooling, as you watched his fingers grip the flaky pastry, and could see precious crumbs fall to the floor. He was wasting it. Wasting the purity of flour, butter, sugar all mixed and backed to create a simple masterpiece.

He was watching your face as he slowly brought the croissant to his mouth and sunk his pearly whites into that crispy goodness. You watched as his tight jaw worked the beautiful bite in his mouth, and his throat bobbed as he swallowed.

Your mouth was open now, your tongue dry as a bone. Was he smirking? You couldn't tell. His eyes scanned your face, as if he was mesmerizing it. With how close he was, you could smell his buttery breathe as he said, "I've had better."

The moment broke and you stepped away from him. What had just happened? Professor Park had just bit into your croissant, in the most sexiest way possibly mind you, and stated that he has had better.

You narrowed your eyes. "Oh, have you? Well, I'm an expert at baked pastries, so let's see."

You gripped his wrist, taking his hand in yours and brought the croissant up to your own mouth.

Oh, it was as good as always. You moaned in pleasure. The delicate flavor that was bursting in your mouth, had you closing your eyes. The taste was overwhelming each time. You had never loved carbs so much until this very second.

You heard a gasp, and suddenly opened your eyes to see a very stunned Professor Park. His eyes were glued to your mouth.

A mouth you were sure had remnants of the flaky croissant. You still held his hand in yours, and felt his skin burning your fingers. You dropped it immediately.

You licked your lips, using your thumb to wipe off what was left on your face. Professor Park just watched. As if he was in a trance.

You could feel your cheeks flush. What made you do something so reckless? Now, Professor Park was going to hold this against you forever. He might even doc you points on the next test.

He blinked rapidly, as if he was coming to, and looked at the croissant still in his hand.

"I change my mind."

You furrowed your brows, while his face lit up. He was smiling. Professor Park never smiled at you. It was like pure sunshine. You felt warmer than when you had eaten the croissant.

And that’s saying something.

"This croissant is the best."

He lifted the pastry to his mouth again, and you watched as he bit exactly where you had.

"I'll see you in class, Y/N." He smirked one last time, before strolling passed you and out the door.

——————————————————————————

Part 1 of many MANY more to come.

#got7 #thegot7network #jinyoung #aesthetic #got7 fanfic #jinyoung fanfic #park jinyoung #got7jinyoung #Professor fanfic

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bumbershots · 3 years

Text

A CERTAIN ROMANCE

CHAPTER FOUR: SILENCE COMES AND GOES

Author’s note: Hello! We continue with this, I would like to thank everyone once again for all the likes and reblogs the story has gotten so far, couldn’t be happier! Enjoy (:

Story masterlist ** Word count: 2.9K **

It is possible that Harry is ignoring the big elephant in the room, as he spreads some jam in his crumpet, well aware of Fernando and Jack exchanging knowing looks. He takes a bite of the savoury treat and hopes none of them dare to confront him, at the same time he wants to be questioned about why he hasn't called Alma yet.

Harry spent the last two weeks grumpy and frustrated.

He's called his therapist way too many times. He has no idea where he went wrong in his healing process. They were back to square one, whispered his tired heart.

Jack is surprised too, his friend got on so well with Alma at the party and apparently even went the extra mile asking for her number then he spent the following fourteen days acting as if she didn’t exist. Didn't even text her like Gemma suggested. He sips his coffee and sighs for the millionth time that day.

The musician is infuriated at himself and desperate that he wants to have Fernando demand an explanation for his behaviour towards his sister. Harry's not a confrontational guy, but he's going mad. Might be losing it. He wanted to scream at the two men before him that he did plan on calling Alma, but then he got so sad. Now he's afraid it's too late.

"Do you want another one?" Fernando holds the plate with crumpets in front of Harry who takes one more and thanks him before grabbing the jam. "Do you reckon you'll be man enough to call my sister within the next couple of days?" Harry chokes on his food while Jack's laughter booms through their home.

Nobody has ever called him out like that. Harry's still unsure whether to be grateful or scared. Maybe a bit of both he thinks after composing himself again from the fit of coughs, he knows Fernando is still waiting for an answer.

"Is she upset about it?" A hint of relief and pride linger on Harry's voice. Jack shakes his head, knowing that he's avoiding the question. Something he's very good at.

"That's not what I asked." Fernando's clipped tone leaves no room for the musician to beat around the bush anymore.

"I was really nervous about calling her, kept putting it off until days turned into weeks... I'm not sure how to go about it," he plays with his rings and looks away from the inquisitive gaze of his companions.

"How did you get Taylor to go out with you?"

"What?" Harry and Jack ask at the same time.

"You must've asked her I guess," Fernando shrugs. "What is so scary about Alma that puts you off? Are you interested in just a shag and you're worried she'll decline or tell the media about it?" Harry is shaking his head vigorously and the dark haired architect leans a bit closer towards him, "you're so full of sh-”

"Alright let's take a break," Jack's soothing tone brings his house mate back from the rage path he was following. But Harry knew that he was right.

It had been a year already, he moved to a new house, one where his ex never set foot into and still her ghost was everywhere. He has this crazy need to destroy everything that can relate to her. Her favourite cardigan is kept away in a box full of Polaroids and books that are all her.

The real reason why he didn't dare to call Alma is because whatever he felt at the beginning of his previous relationship, or any other one, was at least ten times less intense, than what he was feeling now. Seeing the menace before them, his heart and mind decided to leave him courage-less towards the situation. It's less painful to think what could've been than to know it and see it being taken away from you. Again.

But he deserves to be happy, that's what Gemma reminded him the other day.

"I gotta go," Fernando announces before rising from his seat, walking inside the house and upstairs to his room. Jack tries to tidy up the table a bit, not daring to look at his apparently mute friend. When Fernando comes back down he steps outside to the patio where they had brunch, one last glance to a very ashamed Harry and he sighs. "Brigit's Bakery Classic Afternoon Tea Bus. Alma’s been dying to get tickets but never has the time to actually book it," he explains adjusting his jacket's collar. "It's not too late." With that he turns on his heel and leaves the house.

Harry takes their mugs and places them in the sink, he notices Jack is going around the kitchen putting away the butter and milk in the fridge.

"What are you waiting for Romeo?" The blue eyed man asks, stopping in front of a blushing Harry.

They're both quiet for a minute. Harry's heart is racing and can feel his hands get clammy. He hasn't felt someone's faith in a long time, and he's not sure if he's happy or pressured that Fernando and Jack are pushing him to call Alma, he doesn’t even know if she will give him a chance. Harry's wishing to be the kind of guy to take out his mobile and make the call, maybe even crack a witty joke that will have Alma laughing in that loud way he remembers and not be awkward with asking her out on a date. As if he wasn't completely mortified by being rejected.

Harry was sure he would ruin it, not just the call but the date and everything else that was actually going to happen between them without even trying first.

"Hello?" She answers after the third ring, confused at the unknown number calling her.

"Yeah it's me," Harry nods to Jack who urges him to finish whatever sentence he's trying to form, "I believe I owe you some coffee."

"Harry?" Alma tries to fight back a laugh. A wide smile splitting her face after recognising who is the mystery caller.

"Yes! Sorry I forgot you didn't have my number." Jack is red with second hand embarrassment for his friend and decides to start the dishwasher just to keep his eyes from the train wreck happening in his kitchen. "I'm sorry for not calling sooner."

"You're calling now, 's all that matters... I'd love to get that coffee. Next Thursday works for you?" He nods feverishly and remembers he's on the phone.

"Of course, I'll pick you up at five if that's alright."

"Make it half past five please, that's when my shift ends. I'll text you the address." She throws the latter smoothly as an excuse to initiate conversation until they meet again and Harry is oblivious about it.

"Sure great, perfect I'm... really looking forward to seeing you," he plays with the tea towel on the counter, his back turned to Jack, a million butterflies fluttering in his stomach when he hears the coy chuckle his confession got out of her. "Have a good day, see you later."

"See you later, Harry" Alma's goodbye is full of hope and endearment, just like the one he got before she walked away from him that morning after Freddie’s birthday party.

After ending the call, he mentally scolds himself for dreading it so much. It went so much better than expected, even got a laugh out of her. Perhaps Harry needed to stop making decisions based upon his fears and more taking in consideration the other person. He always thought he knew best, it's what he's been told for so many years and although he needs to be making big choices most of the time, perhaps now he could share that responsibility. Felt dead nice for a change.

"That wasn't so bad." He admits to Jack before drying the now clean dishes with a towel.

"I'm proud of you, now tell me, where are you guys going for that coffee?" Jack's eyes are full of curiosity and excitement, it's impossible for Harry not to feel a chill go down his spine at the prospect of planning the date. He thinks about what Fernando suggested, but it would be too obvious that it wasn't his idea entirely.

Alma deserves something exclusively planned by him.

"Don't know yet, perhaps somewhere nice and quiet" he ponders and his friend agrees.

Last time Harry had a proper first date was about two years ago or so. He cooked aubergine parmigiana following Jamie Oliver's recipe and baked some biscuits for dessert that he enjoyed with his companion overlooking the Pacific Ocean from his home's balcony. Back then it seemed to be the right choice to keep it low-key, a simple dinner at his, no risk at all to be bothered or watched. But Harry knew that at some point it got old, being overly discreet was easily mistaken for being ashamed of the relationship. That kind of thing can do a lot to someone's confidence, little by little until it's all too much to bear.

If he could only learn not to care about the world's prying eyes.

Harry doesn't want to drag anyone into the scrutiny of the media until he knows it's an incorruptible bond. The inevitable thought of forever, something he believes might not exist for him, at times. He did think Taylor was it, even Kendall for a while, which is why he dated more publicly back then, until she came along and the love Harry felt was so grand it made him overly protective of them. Countless times he tried to explain that this was the first time something was working in spite of all the circumstances that came with his life and he was trying to cherish it, keep it to himself. Nurture it until it was as tough as old boots.

That night was spent writing down ideas for that first date. Number one was The river café, near Putney Bridge, a place free of paparazzi. Number two, Rail house café, lovely spot to share dinner. Number three The sanctuary café, located in a beautiful building with a quirky environment. Number four and his personal favourite Lola's bakery, their service was so warm and intimate, he remembers the cinnamon Chelsea bun and his mouth waters instantly. So, drawing a big circle around the fourth option he smiles before going to bed that night.

Saturday morning finds Harry at his grandparents’ old home, carrying a bag full of ingredients for a vegetarian lasagna he is planning to cook for his grandfather and his mum. He immediately banishes Anne from helping in the kitchen. She observed him follow the recipe, cooking for no longer than ten minutes the garlic, thyme and aubergine, and then crumble over the chilli carefully. He lets her grate the Parmesan when the sauce isn’t thickening and reducing like it was supposed to. With a bump of her hip, she nodded towards a couple of tomatoes, Harry smiled before tipping them in, breaking them with a spoon and five minutes later, the sauce was ready.

His mother is a marvellous woman, like the good son he is, Harry doesn't want to make her sad, ever. The last time he visited her, recently broken hearted, they spent it baking, cooking, eating sweets and drinking hot chocolate at the rear terrace. Once he had enough of moping around, he decided to make it up to her and create good memories from that visit. They explored the local parklands as if it was the first time, shared ice cream, got tipsy on cheap red wine and chatted from dusk till dawn.

A few hours later, after eating the delicious meal and tidying up the kitchen afterwards, Harry watches his mum talking to his grandad, holding his shaky hand in hers and caressing it in a soothing way. The elder man’s Parkinson is getting worse with time, he feels so useless, specially because it affects his favourite people. He wants to know what his mother is thinking when she joins him back in the kitchen. There is some anguish dancing in her kind eyes, but Harry knows better than to push her to share something she is not ready to.

"I have a date next Thursday," he chokes out, in hopes of distracting her, and it works. Anne's head whips towards her youngest child, evidently shocked and yet proud. It's been years since Harry shared that kind of information with her.

"A proper date?"

"Yes," he wants to add how nervous it makes him. "I dunno how serious it'll get... just met her once, properly I mean, we saw each other on the tube's carriage three times prior to it. Coincidentally of course, Gem said it is something straight out of a film."

"Who is she?" His mother is giving him that look, the one that says how giddy she is to know absolutely everything about the person that got her son so skittish, that he started to rearrange the containing of the cupboards entirely.

"Her name is Alma," he doesn't know where to start, if he spills all the ways in which he thinks she is wonderful, they'll end up pulling an all-nighter.

"And she's a...?"

"Cashier during the week, Spanish teacher on the weekends and occasional interviewer for her Youtube channel." Anne raises her eyebrows, impressed and wondering why such a busy girl agreed to go on a date. Must like him a lot of course, she thinks watching her son pour hot water on a mug, and dunking a tea bag in it afterwards.

"Where did you meet her if not on the tube?'' She is curious and weary. This wouldn't be the first time her youngest spawn overlooked certain things from strangers. Very little things in Harry's life were coincidences nowadays.

"Remember Jack Robinson?" his mum nodded, how could she forget the cheeky chap that helped Harry escape almost every night from his dad's house in the summer, just to go skate in Southbank's center until midnight. Anne admitted to not liking the bloke for a while, but gave him another chance after watching him grow into a responsible adult. "He's in charge of my home renovation, extension whatever it is called. Invited me to Freddie's birthday party and she was there." The dreamy look on his eyes when reminiscing the moment brought out a wide smile on his mum's face followed by her loud laughter.

"Oh Harry, you've got that look." it was the truth. He looked completely gobsmacked by his mother's reaction, but he couldn’t deny the peace he felt when knowing that she was already fond of the girl that he couldn’t get out of his mind.

"It’s too soon to tell!” He doesn’t want to dive into it, not yet.

"How did you really meet? I want all the details." Anne asked, taking a seat at the coffee table and Harry told her everything.

From the first glance he stole her way to the last phone call he had yesterday at Jack and Fernando's house, his hands flew several times to tussle his hair and the dimple on his left cheek was exquisite, when telling his mother, how she asked him to dance with her. He spared no detail, from her intoxicating Moschino perfume to her raspy accented voice. By the time he finished, his mum's mug was empty but her heart was full. For so long she wondered if she would ever witness the beauty of Harry in love again and enjoy first-hand the way he spoke about that person in the sweetest manner, the high-pitched tone of his voice when finally admitting how nervous he actually was about this first date.

"Right, well in that case, stop thinking about how everything is going to go wrong." Easier said than done, Harry thinks but nods. "I'm sure whatever you planned will sweep her off her feet." Anne knew how much of a romantic her boy was, he went all out in that department. His best quality and Achilles heel.

"If the cupcakes from that place don't... I could literally do it." Harry plucks a banana from the fruit bowl before them and narrows his eyes when his mum rolls her eyes at him playfully.

His mother's reassurance made him feel less hopeless, the next day when they went to Sheffield's city center, she even picked out a couple of new mugs. 'Just in case we have new visitors at home.' Harry groaned but failed to hide the dreamy look in his eyes, he even crossed his fingers behind his back as he watched her pay for the cups. The thought of Alma meeting his mother in the near future —and the rest of his loved ones— excited him to an unfamiliar degree, like the first time he saw the seaside with his own eyes at a very young age, like that time he sang in front of a considerable amount of people, like a warm hug of his late grandmother. The idea that she may like him enough to agree to a second date is stuck on his brain, despite that they haven't even survived the first one.

Anne saw him enjoy himself the rest of that afternoon and the next morning before he had to go back to London. She sighed and watched him drive away, standing in her front door for a few more minutes, rejoicing on the memory of Harry's toothy grin. Usually she was careful and waiting for the other shoe to drop, but not this time. There was a bit of certainty in the unfamiliar situation, something she couldn't quite put her finger on, she decided to patiently wait and see. She hummed a familiar tune while putting away the new additions to her crockery. The same song her son decided to play on his journey back home.

Qué será, será. Whatever will be, will be. The future's not ours to see. Qué será, será.

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