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am-i-the-asshole-official · 9 months

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wibta if i held an intervention for my cousin?

strap in bc this is gonna be long, but first i need to introduce this little cast of characters: I (26f), my sister (23f) and my cousin (22f) are literally the only young ones in my family. my fathers siblings never married, and i have only my mother's sister (50sthF) who has married and also has a kid. so this made us kind of close since we were kids, especially my sister and my cousin (due to their close ages) were always together. we did live far from each other, and could only meet one or two times in a year.

my cousin and my sister have ocd. i have depression. we all have anxieties. my aunt and my mother both have anger issues, so we kind of can guess what kind of house my cousin is living in. and also from what we could see during our short visits. so yeah, we're all fucked up, but ever since i started therapy and forced my sister to go as well, things started to change. my cousin kept making excuses about money issues, and not really needing any therapy, but her ocd started spiraling down very quickly after her cat got sick last year (we'll get to that soon).

so here's where the problem lies: my cousin has ocd, and needs to constantly ask for approval. she also has severe separation anxiety, to the point that she cant even think about a family member or her cat dying. and see, i get that! we also had beloved pets who died and honestly it still fucks us up, but she is getting delusional about it. god forbid we mention that the cat is now an old lady, or say that shes not as sharp/agile as she was before—this makes her cry immediately. also her ocd is very focused on her cat: she thinks she can carry diseases to her cat, she gets hysterical if we change our clothes near the cats bowl, asks everyone repeatedly if sth unrelated might make the cat sick. shes also of the belief that if someone uses an insect spray, then the poison will stay there till she goes to that place and carries the poison to her cat and making her sick. we kept explaining to her that if the sprays would work like that then we wouldnt suffer from a serious ant infestation for the third year in a row, but as it goes with ocd, she just cant accept it. she only believes what her mother says, and well. her mother gets agitated Very Quickly and they start fighting which makes everything worse.

usually id interfere and tell my aunt to just get along with my cousin as shes going through therapy and medication, and i saw it first hand on my sister that it takes time for ocd to get calmer. its not like oh u started therapy? why arent u already performing like a mentally healthy person?? this is what i suffered from when i first started my therapy. but my aunts main issue isnt her ocd. the ocd is par for the course—the main problem is that my cousin never helps around the house.

we knew this, since we have been together forever, that my cousin never works. she complains a lot, even snaps if u ask her to do two things at once (even if its like hey check the kettle and btw put this glass in the sink as well). and my aunt has zero tolerance for her attitude, which leads to her doing the chore herself and well this kind of encourages my cousin to get away from the chores by complaining. she was like this ever since we were KIDS. she'd play with us and make a mess, but when we were supposed to clean everything shed either not do a thing (saying "i dont know how to" even to simple things like put the thing in the basket) or shed just. vanish. whenever we ate lunch or dinner, shed immediately go to the bathroom, and come out after everything was cleaned and washed. and before u say there might be sth else, it really wasnt. she even admitted to it later. she just didnt want to do a single shit. and well, now that shes older, its getting kind of upsetting. whenever she's alone at home she does NOTHING. and when my aunt comes back from her trip SHES the one who has to clean after my cousin, even tho she has just arrived home. this is why no matter how much she asks us to go stay with her when shes alone, we never go. bc we dont want to clean after her. or when she comes over to our house she just. barely does a thing.

this is taking a huge mental and physical toll on my aunt, bc shes physically disabled (severe migraines caused by a bubble in her head, and recently due to her bad workplace her right hand and arm are also not doing well), and even tho she kind of brought this on herself (but indirectly encouraging my cousins behavior), its still really upsetting. whenever we go to their house, my sister and i try to shoulder a part of chores, bc 1) our aunt shouldn't have to do everything by herself and 2) we were taught to help. my parents never had any tolerance for us slacking off.

cut to last week when we went to their house, and it was a huge war zone. my aunt kept shouting at my cousin for things that werent her fault (like her asking for approval or complaining about sth someone did), and on the other hand my cousin kept dodging the chores, and when my aunt asked her to do ONE thing she kept snapping at her and complaining like it was a huge deal (it really wasnt. example: my aunt asked her to put her clothes which she had already folded and put on her bed away. my cousin snapped at her that she would do it and she should get off her back and then kept complaining that her folded clothes arent bothering anyone and she shouldnt be forced to put them away. this is not an exaggeration.) i also realized that part of the problem with their relationship was how my cousin kept complaining about everything to my aunt, which makes my aunt go insane bc she needs a break from the negativity, but my cousin is very clingy and would call her multiple times a day just to bitch about sth. and hey, i also bitch about things to my mother, but i dont call her that much when shes/im away, and also i try to balance it with good fun stories. i know my cousin isnt like having a very bad life, she just likes to complain about everything. but this, coupled with her insistent need for approval, and her clinginess, makes for a bad recipe.

so, when i finally had a private moment with my cousin, i told her that she needs to do chores, and this would do wonders to the current tension! i said this very gently and very quickly bc i didnt want my aunt to overhear us, and my cousin started crying and nodding and said she would try. this made me feel a bit calmer about the whole situation, until the next fucking day when my grandparents came to my aunts house and my cousin, u guessed, did nothing to help my aunt. at one point my sister found her kissing her cat instead of setting the table, and it made us both extremely mad.

i think that gently talking with her wont do good, bc she'd probably do the same thing again. i feel like i need to be more stern and a little bit harsher to hammer the point home, bc apparently she doesnt understand anything unless its shouted at her. im not gonna shame her or anything, im just gonna say that she needs to a) continue her therapy (which she has dropped for 5 months) b) take her pills regularly (which she doesnt) c) enforce a clear boundary between herself and her mother no matter how close they and d) do the chores. if she doesnt do these stuff, then she wont be able to get any sympathy from me, and my sister. also cant complain about it anymore if she's not going to do any fucking thing to improve her situation.

so, wibta?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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ackalice · 1 year

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TMNT ships and shipkids? >:3

oooo boy ima assume you mean from my friend and I's story and not canon cuz I have no canon ships- none that I can think of, at least.

thank you for asking as always Meelu, I'm enjoying this excuse to ramble and explain so I can post art later on!

Adelaide and Donatello

Raphael and Maisie

Lucas and Leo

Yuki and Mikey

the ship kids I made have plenty pictures but I won't include them here cuz i dont think it would be fair to the others. they dont have pictures yet for... a reason that I'm sure you'll understand.

(color coded so its not confusing, and oldest to youngest)

Adamo and Bambinali

Nick, Koda, and Sakari

June Rei

Misaki, Teddy, Wakatoshi, Thea, Fuyumi, Sebastian, and Saemi

It's a running joke that Mikey, even though he was the youngest, was the first to be married, the first to give Splinter a grandchild, and has the most kids.

Here's a lil run down on all of them and their personality:

Adamo: Very shy and timid. He's a biology and writing nut. Mama's boy and hes proud. Gets dragged along on adventures by his sister.

Bambinali: Rowdy and loud. Extroverted out the wazoo. She also has issues getting out her emotions and takes care of it with boxing.

Nick: Very angy boy. He will throw down. Kinda standoffish with new people but he opens up and runs you wild once you get to know him.

Koda: Baby! Baby Koda! Sweet quiet turtle boy. He loves his parents and siblings very very much and would do anything for them. Overall just very kind and loving.

Sakari: She's like a tame version of Leo. Sarcastic and witty but also prefers to sit on the sidelines while her cousins get into trouble. But she will thrown down with Nick whenever he gets on her nerves.

June Rei: OOOO Very puffy lil ferret bab. Has trouble calming down and seems to have infinite energy. Rough and tumble lil princess.

Misaki: Staple eldest sister. She's very athletic. Also enjoys helping her parents out so they don't go insane. Responsible and Intimidating (to her younger siblings).

Teddy: Chill older brother. Literally does not care. He will totally help his little sisters put Sebastian on the ceiling for fun. Tried to get Thea to grow weed once.

Wakatoshi: Boho style. Loving and gives the BEST hugs. Takes after his dad in the artist department. Wears a bunch of beaded jewelry.

Thea: Reads a crap ton of books. Botanist; loves her plants to death. She is very sassy and takes fashion tips from her mom. Will terminate her siblings if they mess with her babies (House plants).

Fuyumi: Emo. Wears LOTS of black clothing and jewelry. Protective of her siblings and will beat people up if they mess with her family.

Sebastian: Grunge lil boy. He gives off a very off-putting vibe but is secretly super gentle fr. still acts tough tho, dont doubt it.

Saemi: The youngest cutie patootie. Everyone babys her to no end. She is skiddish and will hide in her shell at the slightest scare. Mikey usually cradles her to coax her back out. if that doesn't work, he brings out a funny persona to make her laugh.

@ilike2drawstuff

^ Leo and Mikey's kids and significant others are their ocs, btw. I'm showing them off bc their characters are magnificent- THANK YOU for letting me talk abt ur wee babes.

#mutuals oc #mutual ask #ask #my ocs #rottmnt #rottmnt oc #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #ramble bamble

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eolewyn1010 · 1 year

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Dragging Frankenstein - Chapter 22

Woe is Victor!

In the process of his being a fainting damsel, Shelley’s brilliance shines through. I’m sure Cantor’s essay emphasized this part, too: “I abhorred the face of man. Oh, not abhorred! they were my brethren, my fellow beings, and I felt attracted even to the most repulsive among them [exception being, obviously, the one he made himself] as to creatures of angelic nature and celestial mechanism [something he firmly denies in the Creature’s nature, acknowledging his own failure in the role of God]. But I felt that I had no right to share their intercourse [I’m counting this, just for the word he uses].” DAS GAY: 38

But snark aside, this is so damn good, esp. in context. How he takes the viewpoint the Creature has taken before him, how he can’t see himself as part of humanity anymore. Nice. Gimme.

Of course, Victor has to ruin it by whining incessantly that his father just doesn’t understand him! It’s not a phase, Dad! IT’S ALL ABOUT ME: 29

“How little do you know me.” Wonder whose fault that is. “Human beings […] would indeed be degraded if such a wretch as I felt pride.” Made me laugh. As if Victor ever felt pride in his life. Nah, not him. He’s a very humble one. “Justine was as innocent as I” *splutters* …exCUSE me??? Justine was ten times more innocent than you even in your best of times! There’s the hatred again. Twat.

His father is mollycoddling him, and my God, it’s really not kind of Frankenstein sr. to wed off Elizabeth, his precious adoptive daughter, to someone who is verifiably and obviously mentally unstable. Can’t you just betroth her to Ernest instead? As things look, Victor will rather land in a madhouse anyway, so it’s not like he’ll be of much use as an heir.

Of course, he also demonstrates where Victor got his upbringing. “If I don’t talk of the Bad Thing That Happened, it will just go away with no consequences!” These people, man.

Elizabeth’s letter is… really something. “My friend, my cousin” – I was just waiting for her to add “my brother” to it. INCEST VIBES: 16

Apparently, another YEAR has passed since he left Geneva. It’s astounding; time is fleeting. Madness takes its toll…~

Elizabeth brings up the quasi-sibling issue, only to then confirm that she’s game to marry him, earning her another of the INCEST VIBES: 17

She also thinks he was preoccupied with thoughts of someone else he loved, while he was preoccupied with thoughts about the Creature, which, LOL. Gets him the usual double. DAS GAY: 39

INCEST VIBES: 18

I promise, I’m almost done, but I have to give another count for this sentence: “bound in honor to fulfil the wishes of your parents although they opposed themselves to your inclinations.” o.O Inclinations? Did she write it that way on purpose?? Tell me she wrote that on purpose. DAS GAY: 40

Good on Elizabeth for not wanting to be an unloved Beard, tho.

Victor gets back into whining how his wedding night will be his death. IT’S ALL ABOUT ME: 30

For reasons I cannot fathom, he chooses the word “consummate” instead of “commit” for the crimes the Creature will do onto him. *raises eyebrow* I know I said I was done, but… INCEST VIBES: 19

DAS GAY: 41

And lest we forget anything, he also plays with the notion again that he could indeed defeat the Creature. DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR: 17

Dumbass.

Then he remembers it’s been at least five seconds since he pissed me off with his class conceit, and rectifies that. “What freedom? Such as the peasant enjoys when his family have been massacred before his eyes, his cottage burnt, his lands laid waste, and he is turned adrift, homeless, penniless, alone, but free. Such would be my liberty except that in my Elizabeth I possessed a treasure.” I SO PRIVILEGED: 16

I gave him a double for that, one for the “oh, I’m like a peasant who lost literally everything, except that I still have a gorgeous fiancée and an estate full of riches waiting” and one for referring to Elizabeth as his property again. Get bent, Victor.

“paradisiacal dreams of love and joy, but the apple was already eaten” – Fair enough; that’s the Paradise Lost reference again, but it falls flat here, because the one thing Adam and Eve didn’t lose when they were cast out of paradise was each other. That’s the beautiful thing of the story, that they carried their love out into the world with them and built a life on it, something that Victor proves time and again to be both unable and unwilling to do. If Elizabeth is his Eve, he’s been failing her all this time, long before her death.

“he would surely find other, and perhaps more dreadful, means of revenge” – He thinks this and then still doesn’t reach the conclusion that someone Not Him might be at risk. IT’S ALL ABOUT ME: 31

Wonder if this count will catch up with the gay count before the end of the book.

…well, maybe not, because he ties the “with you on your wedding night” to the loss of Clerval immediately afterwards, which makes me think that the Creature prevented two marital unions here. DAS GAY: 42

“I will confide this tale of misery and terror to you the day after our marriage shall take place.” Heh. Sure you will. Subtle foreshadowing there, Shelley.

He seriously has the balls to comment on how Elizabeth isn’t glowing with charm and vivacity anymore. SHE HAS A DEPRESSION, YOU SHALLOW BITCH! And now she has to be his security blanket, Jesus Christ, this poor woman.

“But death was no evil to me if the loss of Elizabeth were balanced with it” -.- Okay, now it’s getting stupid. IT’S ALL ABOUT ME: 32

He makes me laugh a little when he says, “I shut up, as well as I could […]” It’s not very well, honey. But this is all so cruel to poor Elizabeth. She knows he’s faking it, she sees he’s not the least bit interested in this wedding.

But hey, at least he’s gaining some more possessions via her heritage when he marries her! This is Important Information!

“I carried pistols and a dagger constantly about me” – Pfft. Somewhere in the distance, Bill is snorting with laughter.

Victor’s momentary happiness takes the form of a flowery travel guide again, and then the bitch goes and PISSES. ME. OFF. “You are sorrowful, my love. Ah! if you knew what I have suffered, and what I may yet endure, you would endeavour to let me taste the quiet and freedom from despair that this one day at least permits me to enjoy.” … *inhales, clears throat* Count? IT’S ALL ABOUT ME: 33

Now, with this settled… AAAAAARRRRRRGGGHHHH! *takes knife and stabs Victor repeatedly* YOU INCREDIBLE PIECE OF SHIT! YOU COULDN’T BE ARSED TO BE A LITTLE ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT YOUR WEDDING, AND NOW YOU GET ON HER CASE FOR NOT BEING ALL SUNSHINE AND DAISIES FOR YOUR BENEFIT!! YOU SERIOUSLY CHASTISE HER FOR NOT SETTING UP A BRIGHT ENOUGH SMILE?? AFTER ALL SHE HAS BEEN THROUGH, YOU CAN STILL TALK ONLY ABOUT YOUR SUFFERINGS, AND YOUR COMFORT, AND YOUR NEED FOR AN OVERJOYOUS PIECE OF DECOR BY YOUR SIDE?? YOU NEVER BOTHERED TO BE KIND TO CHEER HER UP, YOU LOUSY–

*sits down, catches breath, wipes knife* Anyway.

“Something whispers to me not to depend too much on the prospect” – yeah, damn right, girl. You can’t depend on this marriage, and you sure as hell can’t depend on this guy.

More pretty landscape, and then the calm before the storm ends the chapter on a foreboding note. Here’s looking forward to the last few people being removed from Victor’s miserable presence.

#Frankenstein #personal opinions #disclaimer: this is just for shits and giggles

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oni-tengu · 2 years

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okay this idea kicked my ass and i wanted to do all 12 beta trolls but i got this far and i was DONEEE. anyway.

kind of an excuse to draw them how i'd style them, kind of got away from me when i started to fantasize an AU for them lol. basically how it'd be if i made a homestuck earth C spinoff /MSPFA

info about the AU below (gamzee w scars at the bottom)

this is very self indulgent so read at ur own risk hahah

its all the kids, calliope, beta trolls and dancestors n its one of those "what if trolls lived on earth from the beginning" things so not TECHNICALLY earth c but maybe it is??

the trolls as a species migrated to earth before the beta trolls were "born" and a lot of their history got muddled so theyre not really 100% aware that they have any ties to the ancestors EX) signless. theyre still relatively new to earth though so its still in the age where theyre trying to integrate humans and trolls together in society n humans dont know much about trolls and their culture etc

overall it parallels canon but i get to choose the ships and everyone's alive (: dancestors n beta trolls live with their respective "relative" and the beta trolls' lusii. the larger and more dangerous lusus, like vriska's spider-mom is a tarantula sized lusus, feferi's is able to fit in a 20 gallon tank, and gamzee's is more like...human sized. ETC.

the humans have altered relationships to each other, and their parents aren't ecto-clones or whatever the fuck but just. people. parents. bro sucks n dave goes to live with dirk n his dad at 12 y/o. some are half-siblings, some are cousins, some are step-siblings, etc.

calliope i haven't totally figured out, except that she's the dominant sibling and caliborn is just in the back of her head but she doesn't let him come out. also callie and roxy r dating <3 (:

my bias is toward karkat and the alphas basically, so i mostly focused on them but my style is ALSO very slice-of-life so everyone gets a little drama (: there's some dave + karkat and karkat + gamzee drama 4 sure mhmm

beta humans and trolls are 3 years younger than alphas, alphas are three years younger than dancestors. so when john is 13, jane is 16, and dancestors are 19.

they also have awareness of SBURB/SGRUB and have dream selves. literally i just wanted derse and prospit lol but if i had to make logic for it, maybe its just that this IS earth C and the reason the trolls left alternia was bc SGRUB blew it up. i dont know. dont look at me im doing my best.

thats all i wanna share thanks for coming to ted talk

here's gamzee with scars just bc this was an alternate i made i guess

#oni art #homestuck #fanart #alpha kids #beta kids #calliope #karkat vantas #gamzee makara #dave strider #john egbert #rose lalonde #jade harley #dirk strider #jane crocker #roxy lalonde #jake english

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geminirum · 2 years

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in honour of eternals being released on disney+, i bring you a high school au

i hated high school with every fibre in my body, but i don’t hate them, and this was an excuse to use this dress i found off pinterest because one can dreami know not everyone will have the same experience, so bear with me and remember this is all subjective ✨

———

liked by spriteintoaction, officialkingo, missthena and 61 others

itsdruig: the only class i didn’t hate. gonna miss it

officialkingo: i still can’t believe you’ve been an artist this whole time and literally never said anything

itsdruig: i like to remain mysterious, its part of my charm, y’know

officiallyikaris: so was i gonna be invited to your class’ end of the year exhibit, or no?

itsdruig: no.

therealeros: love it, love your family dynamic

missthena: literally who asked you to be here?

liked by danewhitman, spriteintoaction, guidingajak and 56 others

simplymakkari: she’s a runner, she’s a track star 🏃🏾‍♀️

danewhitman: sersi and i wanna bring snacks for the rest of your teammates? are orange slices too cliche

simplymakkari: not at all! please bring them 🍊

officialkingo: is your little boyfriend gonna be there?

itsdruig: yes i will be, and i’m bringing my siblings they wanted to watch

missthena: yes, i do enjoy watching sports. i do not enjoy participating in them, however

spriteintoaction: you’re literally a black belt in karate, isn’t that a sport?

missthena: touché

guidingajak: your mother and i will be there 😘😘

liked by simplymakkari, heyimphastos, cookingwithgil and 90 others

itsdruig: pretty flowers for an even prettier girl ♥️

lovesersi: was this your own way of telling us that you asked makkari to prom? 🤨

itsdruig: possibly….

heyimphastos: i can’t believe that you got a prom date before any of us

cookingwithgil: ^ yeah man you kinda suck

itsdruig: i just go after what i want. be bold.

simplymakkari: my mom wants to meet you before we go to prom!! she invited you over for dinner :)

liked by itsdruig, heyimphastos, spriteintoaction and 45 others

simplymakkari: yeah… my brother was a theatre kid… no we didn’t go to denny’s afterwards….

officialkingo: thanks for dragging them with you

simplymakkari: if i had to suffer, they do too

spriteintoaction: love it. love the enthusiasm!

officialkingo: you be quiet, you’re starting high school soon. then you’ll understand the trials and tribulations of entering adulthood

cookingwithgil: i’m just impressed he didn’t freeze

heyimphastos: jokes aside, you were really good

guidingajak: ignore them, you were wonderful darling! i’m so immensely proud of you ❤️

liked by lovesersi, danewhitman, officiallyikaris and 78 others

itsdruig: spare with the best (tagged: simplymakkari)

comments have been limited

lovesersi: you’re actually studying?

itsdruig: i do study a lot, you just don’t notice

officiallyikaris: your handwriting is atrocious

itsdruig: funny i was about to say the same thing about your football skills, cousin

cookingwithgil: okay let me ask you this, what do you hope to pursue? if you have an idea, no rush!

itsdruig: finally, a civil comment. i’m studying social work with a minor in psychology, with hopes of getting my masters and then PhD

spriteintoaction: my brother is actually really smart y’all, you just don’t give him enough credit

liked by guidingajak, lovesersi, cookingwithgil and 58 others

simplymakkari: mom meets the boyfriend, pt. 1

officiallyikaris: did she kill him?

simplymakkari: you do realize that only YOU hate druig, everyone else pretty much adores him

missthena: how sweet, my little brother meeting his girlfriend’s mom. i’m gonna go tell gil and everyone

spriteintoaction: oh i’m wayyyyyy ahead of you

itsdruig: why is everyone teasing me for this??? 💀

cookingwithgil: respectfully, you hate most people so this is a really big deal for you

heyimphastos: i won’t be respectful about it lol, dude you literally hate most things expect makkari. you meeting her family is a big step

lovesersi: well i for one am very happy for you two!

itsdruig: i knew i tolerated you for a reason

guidingajak: don’t listen to them dear, it was so wonderful to meet you! i see why makkari likes you so much, you’re a kind young man

liked by simplymakkari, officiallyikaris, spriteintoaction and 100 others

itsdruig: PROM NIGHT 2024

comments have been turned off

liked by lovesersi, missthena, guidingajak and 532 others

simplymakkari: im sitting here, NOT crying in my prom dress 💜✨

lovesersi: and it has pockets!!!! you won

spriteintoaction: look i’m not the most fashionable person out there but holy crap this is stunning

officialkingo: i agree this is the finest piece of craftsmanship i have ever seen, ever

missthena: how could someone ever cry looking that beautiful, have fun tonight you two

guidingajak: but not too much fun

officialkingo: what mom said, i’m watching you druig

itsdruig: oh wow 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

liked by missthena, heyimphastos, cookingwithgil and 67 others

itsdruig: prom after party with a special guest appearance from bob ross (tagged: simplymakkari)

officialkingo: i take it back go have too much fun guys this is so lame

simplymakkari: lmaooo can you tell which one is mine and which one is druig’s

itsdruig: you tried and i love you for that <3

officiallyikaris: let’s rewind here, did you just say i love you to makkari on instagram comments

spriteintoaction: oooohhhhh

cookingwithgil: oooohhhhh

heyimphastos: oooohhhhh

missthena: oooohhhhh

itsdruig: and this is why i hate you all :)

#movies: eternals #marvel: cast #movies: marvel #ch: druig #ch: makkari #otp: drukkari #my edits!

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whimsicallyreading · 3 years

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You Don’t Even Go Here

Day Two for Rowaelin Month

A college AU

Aelin grins mischievously as she walks up the stairs of the men's dorm at Terresan University. The teal-blue waffle iron clutched under her arm.

Aedion didn't really need it. It had been on the fifty-percent-off rack at the supermarket, and he'd simply thrown it in the cart for good measure. Yet, when Aelin saw the box for it laying the hall, she'd seen opportunity.

It had hit her harder than she'd thought. Aedion leaving. They'd been raised like siblings but grew up something closer to best friends. It wasn't fair that he was nearly three years older and ready to leave when she wasn't prepared for him to go.

Aelin had cried the whole car ride home. Then when they finally got back to the house, she'd called him right away. He could hear how teary she was and happily obliged her call. Narrating his actions as he went about setting up his dorm room. He teased her about missing him, but she could tell that he missed her too.

So, armed with an excuse to visit him, Aelin made the hour-long drive to visit her cousin.

Aelin was halfway up the stairs but not paying too much attention to her surroundings. She was too busy repeating Aedion's room number over in her head because no matter how many times she checked her phone, it just wouldn't stick in her head. Maybe if she'd focused a little more on the things happening around her, she wouldn't have crashed into a half-naked man.

A solid and calloused hand darts out and grips her shoulder before she can go tumbling down the stairs. Its twin desperately clutching the towel wrapped around his waist.

Aelin looks up apologetically, and her jaw nearly falls to the floor. His white hair was still damp from the shower and swooped over the top of his head, and his biceps were too large for Aelin to wrap both hands around. An intricate tattoo coils elegantly from a cheekbone and down the length of his body.

He was a man indeed. Nothing like Chaol or Dorian or any of her junior friends. This was a new breed of man. The apex kind. Aelin is pretty sure she looks like a deer in the headlights, and she's too busy ogling him to understand the words he'd been repeating to her.

"Are you okay?" His eyebrows are furrowed as if he's afraid he'd literally struck her stupid. Aelin felt that wasn't far from the truth.

"Yes, sorry," she apologizes as she steps back, suddenly very aware of how in his personal space she was. "I wasn't paying attention. You just caught me by surprise."

Aelin was definitely panicking. Where was her swagger when she needed it most? Why would it choose now to abandon her?

By some miracle, he doesn't seem off-put by her awkwardness. In fact, a smile curls the edges of his lips, revealing a set of dimples that made her heart stumble.

Gods he had dimples.

"No, I ran into you. It's my fault. My name is Rowan.”

He holds out a hand, and Aelin shakes it clumsily. "I'm Aelin."

"Aelin." She loves the way her name rolls off his tongue. "I haven't seen you around before. Are you a freshman?"

Oh no. Aelin's eyes widen, but she recovers swiftly and smooths her features out. Rowan thinks she's a student. Not some crazy high schooler too emotionally dependent on her cousin.

"I'm actually a junior," Aelin laughs at his perplexed expression. "I don't go here, though. I'm just stopping by to drop off some things my cousin forgot."

White lies. What was a white lie worth? Aelin likely wouldn't ever see him again, and is it so wrong for a girl to enjoy some harmless attention? If Aelin spent more time thinking about it, she probably wouldn't like the answers she'd come up with, but that was neither here nor there.

"Is that a waffle maker?" Rowan's green eyes glint with amusement.

"My cousin loves to eat. What year are you?" Aelin crosses her fingers that he's the same age as Aedion and not a senior or something. Her cousin would murder her if he found out she flirted with a man five years older.

"Don't we all? I'm a sophomore, a bit younger than you, I suppose." Rowan drags a hand through his hair. "Listen, I know you came to see your cousin, but maybe I could get your number, and we could get a cup of coffee before you head out?"

Was this really happening? Aelin inwardly squealed with excitement. Lysandra would die when she recounted this story later. "Sure."

Just as she pulled her phone from her pocket, an all too familiar voice materialized behind her. "Aelin?"

Aedion smiles as he lays eyes on his beloved cousin. He takes a couple steps down the stairs, and that grin quickly fades as he sees the naked man.

Oops, she'd forgotten that detail.

"Rowan?" Aedion's eyes harden as they lock on Rowan. "Why the hell are you ogling my cousin with no clothes on?"

"You know him?" Aelin swears under her breath. She cannot believe her luck.

Aedion laughs coldly as he sizes up Rowan, "He's my roommate, but he's about to be a corpse. Why are you perving on my seventeen-year-old cousin?"

Rowan's looks between the bewildered. "You said you were a junior?"

Aedion laughs harshly as Aelin blushes. "I am...just in highschool. Not college. I told you I didn't go here."

"I didn't realize I was rooming with a pedophile," Aedion grabs Aelin and pulls her to his chest. "Was he bothering you?"

"Pedophile?" Rowan's dimples have disappeared, and he looks at Aedion disturbed. "I'm only nineteen!"

Aelin shoves away from Aedion's boorish grip. "The only one bothering me is you."

Rowan's cheeks are flushed red as the full impact of the situation they were found in dawns on him. Damn it if Aelin didn't find his blush endearing. He is a solid chunk of muscle. How is everything he does so cute?

"Look, I just got out of the shower, and I bumped into Aelin. It was an accident. She was just on her way to give you your waffle maker-"

"You brought my waffle maker?" Aedion cuts Rowan off, eyeing the box under her arm.

That's when Aelin sees it. The twinkle of mischief in his eye and the forced concern. Aedion was playing her. He obviously knew Rowan wasn't a creep and saw the perfect opportunity to cause chaos. Aelin scowls at him, and that spark grows brighter. It's moments like this she wonders why she ever missed her cousin in the first place.

Aedion tugs the box out of her grasp and smiles. "Wow. This is perfect timing. Vaughn and Fen were just talking about making breakfast for dinner." He looks at Aelin and forces a frown. "If I'd known you were coming, I would have invited you, but it would kind of be rude to bring a guest now."

"What?" Aelin sputters. She drove all this way, and he was really going to ditch her? It was embarrassing, but tears prickled at the edges of her eyes. He was an ass, but she obviously came because she missed him, and he didn't even care? She really thought they were closer than that.

"Yeah. Sorry, Lin." Aedion points at Rowan, who was just standing to the side, thoroughly uncomfortable. Yet, despite the awkwardness, he hadn't left. "Hey, you owe me one for creeping on my little cousin. Earn my trust back and see that she has something for dinner and gets to her car safely? She has my phone number, one bad text, and your ass is grass."

Aedion tosses her a wink, and it's all Aelin can do to keep from outright gaping. Rowan looks stunned, his eyes darting between the two Ashryvver's. They settle on Aelin for a moment too long. Some of the tension eases from his shoulders, and he smiles. "I think I can manage that."

"Good." Aedion turns back up the stairs pats the box. "Thanks for bringing it to me, Lin. I'll call you tomorrow, don't send me to voicemail."

Just like that, her cousin, a walking, talking agent-of-chaos, disappears back to wherever he came from.

"So," Rowan starts, "If you want, I know a perfect Italian place we could swing by, my treat seeing as I plowed into you."

Aelin frowns and fiddles with the end of her necklace. "You aren't upset that I lied?"

"You didn't lie." Rowan chuckles, a deep sound that sends a shiver of delight down Aelin's spine. "You don't go here."

Aelin tilts her head as if she's deeply considering the offer. "I suppose it couldn't hurt. What's good there?"

"They have an awesome kabob." Rowan tugs his towel tighter. "It's my favorite."

It's Aelin's turn to laugh. "Isn't that just meat on a stick?"

"Let's go, and I can show you how profoundly wrong you are," he moves to take a step down, but Aelin stops him with a hand to the shoulder. "What is it?"

Aelin points to his towel, "I don't think they will serve guests without pants."

The flush that Aelin loves his back full force as he scrambles the other direction up the stairs. "Shit. Give me five minutes. I'll be right back. Aedion better have not locked out or I swear-"

Rowan's embarrassed tirade quiets as he charges up to his dorm to change. Aelin smiling as he goes. She can't believe she's going out to dinner with a guy like that.

Opening her phone, she sends a quick heart emoji to her cousin. He instantly replies back with one of his own. Aedion may have moved to college, but he still had her back at the end of the day. Even if it wasn't in the most ideal way.

Rowan comes back down the stairs moments later, and she's not disappointed by what she sees. He took the time to put on a flannel shirt and comb some gel through his hair. While the view without clothes had been pleasant, Aelin could definitely appreciate this look too.

"I'm ready if you are," Rowan extends an arm to help her down the stairs.

It's such a fussy, old-man move, and she loves it.

"Let's go."

#rowaelinmonth #rowaelin month #throne of glass #rowaelin #fanfic #rowan whitethorn #aelin galathynius #tog #fluff #college au #day two

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lalaangeldust · 3 years

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𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮

- 𝐦𝐡𝐚 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 -

[ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 ] : none // sfw :)

[ 𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 ] : sero hanta // jirou kyoka // tomoyami fumikage

[ 𝐦𝐲𝐤𝐢𝐞'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 ] : ...looking at my blog you may see that nearly every writing post i have is ab sero and you may be thinking "wow this person is really obsessed w sero" and you know what? ...mind your business :| /j

𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐚

now... i may be a tad biased when saying this buuuuut sero would literally be the best s/o- i will not be taking any comments or criticism on this >:( /hj

sero strikes me as the type to be the oldest sibling / cousin of a large family which is why he so naturally takes on a caretaker role without even realizing it

his protective caregiver side comes out particularly strong when it comes to you and though it may feel a little stifling at times, it's all nothing but in good intention. give him some gentle reminders and he'll do his best to adjust, communication is super important to him <3

he's a massive dork and is always up for bullying teasing you in light hearted fun but he also knows when to chill out and get serious if the time calls for it

he grounds you and shows you that it's ok to slow down and take a minute for yourself... or five... or sixty...

what can i say? sero is ~very~ persuasive

sero gives god tier massages, you have told him that numerous times yourself so he uses that as leverage against you to get you to relax. his personal favorite thing to do with you is have you lay on top of him in his hammock, your shared playlist humming in the background while he rubs your back up and down as he rests his foot on the floor to gently rock the hammock

he will ascend to the gods if you fall asleep on him. his sole goal in life is to soothe you and help relieve your stress; to be your safe haven, so it should be no surprise he is elated that his objective was met even for a moment

he's totally not snapping a few sneaky pics of your sleeping face... most definitely not a video /s, i mean come on- the way your face is so peacefully relaxed as your cheek is squished adorably against his chest while your fist loosely grips onto his shirt is a sight that makes sero's heart weep and he wants to ingrain it deep into his memory

sero cherishes you and when it comes down to just the two of you alone, he treats you with such care. not as if you were something fragile but more like you were something precious, something so valuable that it can't ever be comprehensively measured. because that's exactly what you are

𝐣𝐢𝐫𝐨𝐮 𝐤𝐲𝐨𝐤𝐚

EVERYONE-!! EVERYONE SHUT UP ITS MY BABY

she's so pretty~ *ahem* ANYWAYS

jirou is pretty awkward when it comes to showing affection to you- scratch that, she is very awkward but in all honesty, it's adorable

but she loves doing things for you- sure, half the time they aren't even intentional like how she gets you your favorite drink without even consciously thinking about it because she passed by a café but it isn't until she leaves the place that she finally realizes that she didn't want a drink and you aren't even there with her to take yours nor did you two plan to hang out that day

this has happened many-a-times and not just when she gets drinks either, most of your gifts from jirou are from her absentmindedly buying things with you in mind that she would typically never buy for herself or need much use for. all of them genuine mistakes but~ it makes for a nice excuse to drop by to give you your treat and possibly stay a bit longer and spend some time with you

as well as jirou absentmindedly buying things for you, she also absentmindedly does chores for you. you two were sitting in your room together but you left for the kitchen to grab snacks. jirou's eyes wander your room as she patiently waits- has that dust always been there...? and now you're walking into your room only to see jirou dismantling your shelves

"sorry... the dust was bothering me"

but something you love is jirou's singing. i don't think she'd sing for you often without you having to ask her when you two first started dating because she got performance anxiety just thinking about playing for you but that doesn't mean she didn't want to

but she hums all the time and you can die happy listening to her just doing that

now she's warmed up to you, she's always singing for you, silly little melodies she made up on the spot about something you're doing in the moment or humming you to sleep when you two cuddle. the first time she played an original song that she wrote for you, you downright sobbed

she has several songs she's written about and for you, you don't know how many but she insists it's an embarrassing amount. but you absolutely adore it every time she comes to you to show you any of her songs and all of them

𝐭𝐨𝐤𝐨𝐲𝐚𝐦𝐢 𝐟𝐮𝐦𝐢𝐤𝐚𝐠𝐞

i stand by factual /j opinion that sero would be the best s/o... however.... tokoyami is a dangerously close contender

his presence is very calm and quiet, yet all encompassing. he is without a doubt one of the best people to go to about your troubles or even to just simply sit with because he hardly ever expects you to tell him what's wrong and he never pressures you to tell either. he understands and is there for you till you're ready

tokoyami typically keeps all his thoughts inwards and isn't one for many words but when he does speak, it is always so genuine and meaningful and he gives legitimately good advice despite it being pretty cryptic most times

tokoyami doesn't require much, just your company, the ability to get along with dark shadow and willingness to listen to him read his poems and man, he has a lot of poems he wants to share with you. not even to mention the plethora he's written for you.

he enjoys laying on the roof with you, staring at the stars as you contently listen to him rambling on rather poetically about his philosophies while dark shadow plays with your hair or settles into your lap. there's something about tokoyami's voice you find so comforting, to you his voice sounds like home and that thought makes you feel very safe when he's around

tokoyami loves reading to dark shadow and he really wanted to do the same for you. he was shy to ask at first but to his and dark shadows delight, you happily agreed as you placed your head on his lap. the way tokoyami softly read from a book of dark shadow's choosing while dark shadow stroked your hair was oddly serene and before you knew it, you had been lulled deep into sleep.

ever since, it is a very regular thing to fall asleep to tokoyami's reading. his voice is just so relaxing and you honestly wouldn't mind lying on his lap forever... neither would tokoyami

he is so eternally grateful to have you. unfortunately, his appearance tends to scare off others or if not, dark shadow has a tendency to chase people off as well so it's not often he finds someone who indulges him in his thoughts an interests, let alone just simply taking the time to get to know him

you better believe he will never take you for granted because of that and will do what he can to maintain your relationship because it is something he holds near and dear to his heart

𝒇𝒊𝒏 . ✩

[ did i just write about all my bnha crushes..??? why yes- yes i did ]

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prorevenge · 4 years

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My Grandmother Put Greedy Preachers In Their Places .... Twice .... Even After She Died

TL/DR - My grandmother generously served her "Bible Believing Christian" church for almost 50 years, without asking anything in return. But when she became elderly, disabled and homebound, her church acted like she did not exist - until she was in hospice care and literally on her deathbed, when that church showed a sudden interest in telling Grandma to, "Remember your church in your will". She waited until exactly the right moment, in front of exactly the right audience, to expose these greedy assholes for what they were.....twice.

My grandmother was a member of a large conservative "Bible Believing" church for her entire adult life. This church, which I'll call BigWhiteChurch, was a member of a large Evangelical denomination. BigWhiteChurch was located in a prosperous suburb of a large city in the Bible Belt of the Deep South of the USA.

Grandma was very active in BigWhiteChurch. She worked in the nursery every Sunday morning, helped cook hundreds of church fellowship breakfasts and dinners, accompanied her children and grandchildren on dozens of church retreats and choir tours, taught Youth Bible Study on Sunday nights and was very active in supporting Home Missions, as well as helping with other youth programs. She always tithed, and often gave extra for missions and special offerings.

Grandma's greatest talent was making other people feel important. I've seen this first-hand many times. Although I belonged to a different church, I often visited with Grandma, and when I did, I usually went to BigWhiteChurch functions with her. I've seen her single-handedly cook breakfast for dozens of BigWhiteChurch Youth, a task which took over 2 hours, even in the church's large kitchen. Then, after the meal, she asked the group for a round of applause for the high-school student leader for, "Doing such a great job of organizing the Prayer Breakfast".

I remember that, on a BigWhiteChurch youth retreat at a rural Church Camp, she drove most of the night to go back to the city and retrieve a big box of evangelistic materials, that one of the Assistant Pastors (whom I'll call AssPastor) had forgotten and asked her to get, in time for our morning program the next day. His boss, the Senior Pastor (I'll call him PompousPastor), never found out that AssPastor had screwed up or that Grandma had fixed it for him. AssPastor never even thanked Grandma. Even though I was a child, this bothered me so much that I asked her about it. She said that she didn't mind at all; she told me her reward would be that those materials, "Would help children find Jesus".

Grandma's service to her church ended abruptly at the age of 73, when she broke her back in a car accident. Afterwards, for the last 10 years of her life, she was homebound and could not go to church because of this injury and declining health due to old age. Her mind was just as sharp as ever, and her faith remained sincere, but her body wore out a little more every day.

During those 10 years, she made many efforts to reach out to her church, its leadership and her church friends, inviting them to visit her at her home, etc., without success. Every one of these invitations was declined or simply ignored.

Near the end, when she was in home hospice care, she decided to plan her own funeral. She and my Grandpa called her church and asked for the Senior Pastor, PompousPastor, whom she had known for over 30 years, to visit her so that they could plan her memorial service, which she and Grandpa wanted to be held at the church.

PompousPastor was too busy, but AssPastor stopped by a few days later. According to my Grandpa, here's what happened at that meeting, with my Grandma literally on her deathbed:

Grandma, Grandpa and AssPastor discussed her funeral for a couple of minutes. Then AssPastor started pressuring her to, "Lay up your treasure in Heaven" by, "Remembering your church in your will".

Grandpa told him firmly that, "This is neither the time nor the place to discuss her will."

They went back to discussing the funeral for a few minutes. Then AssPastor steered the conversation back to Grandma's will, with liberal injections of how badly "her" church needed "her support".

Grandpa told him several times that it was inappropriate to talk to Grandma about her will or the church's financial needs, because she was terminally ill and in an enormous amount of physical pain. AssPastor would agree and briefly talk about the funeral, but would then go back to talking about the church's financial needs, heavenly rewards, "Where your treasure is your heart will be also" (Matthew 6:21, Luke 12:34), etc.

My Grandma started crying.

To put this into context, Grandma was more than a "Steel Magnolia". She was "Titanium Coated With Diamond Wrapped In Kevlar". She rarely ever cried, and never EVER cried about herself. Not one tear when the doctor told her that her back was broken so badly that she would never walk again, nor during the following 6 months in futile rehab. She would shed sincere but well-managed tears at funerals and while visiting family members in the hospital when they received bad news. She would cry to console others, "Weep with those who weep". But nobody - not Grandpa, not her daughter (my mom), nor any of my uncles or Grandma's siblings - ever remembered her crying for herself.

My Grandma was sobbing uncontrollably.

Grandpa, a retired steelworker, ex-Marine Sergeant and Korean War combat veteran, physically grabbed AssPastor and "escorted" him out of their house, not too gently.

Contrary to everyone's expectations, Grandma lived another 6 months, mostly because of sheer force of will. Eventually, though, Grandma passed away and we held her memorial service at the funeral home, not BigWhiteChurch. PompousPastor and AssPastor were conspicuously absent. In fact, there were no "Professional Christians", from BigWhiteChurch, at the service at all, not even in the audience.

To start the service, Grandpa stood up at the podium in front of the crowd and said, "Some of you may have heard that I dis-invited PompousPastor and AssPastor from this funeral service. This service is not an appropriate place for me to give you my reasons for doing this, although you all know me and so you know that my reasons are good ones. Also, my wife asked me to exclude them."

"This funeral service may be different from other funerals that you have attended. It is going to be an "open microphone" funeral. Everyone who wants to say something is invited to come up here and describe your friendship with my wife, tell a story about her that is worth remembering, or anything else that you want to say that will honor her memory and bring comfort to everyone here today. I have asked several family members to prepare statements, but you don't have to have anything prepared. Please, if you want to say something, come up here and do so."

There were about a hundred people at the funeral service; at least a third of them eventually stepped up to the microphone. The service, which we had planned to last about 30 minutes, lasted for over two hours and, as best I can tell, not one person left early. There was laughing, crying and hugging, three of her grandchildren played some of her favorite songs on the piano and guitar, we all joined hands and sang her favorite hymns.

Afterwards, dozens of people told my Grandpa that it was one of the most comforting and uplifting funerals they had ever attended. More than a few remarked that, "Funerals are better without preachers anyway", or something similar.

REMEMBERING HER PASTORS AND HER CHURCH IN HER WILL: THE ONE-TWO PUNCH

A couple of weeks later, it was time to start distributing the bequests in Grandma's will. Although Grandma and Grandpa dearly loved each other, they had separate wills because, she told my Mom, "That makes it easier for us to respect each other's turf", and because their lawyer had recommended it. Nobody thought that my grandparents were wealthy. They had lived in the same small but charming house in a prosperous, well-maintained suburban neighborhood for the past 50+ years, and had worked hard and lived modestly. But it was rumored that they had a very nice nest egg.

Of course, there is no legal requirement for anyone to attend "The Reading Of The Will", or to even have a "Reading". Modern telecommunications and near-universal literacy have made this quaint custom practically extinct.

But "The Reading Of The Will" was a tradition in our family because it was one of those events that gave our close-knit, extended family an excuse to get together. We never had "Family Reunions". They were too difficult to schedule for our large family. But we got together at birthdays, holidays, funerals, baptisms, etc., so that if you attended several of these, you would see just about every one of your cousins, aunts, uncles, and even great aunts & uncles who were Grandma's and Grandpa's siblings and in-laws.

With this family tradition in mind, many of our family members' wills often contained very personal bequests of items that had little cash value, but were the departed family member's way of telling their loved ones that they wanted to share a cherished memory with them one last time.

As an added incentive to attend, the family rumor mill had been buzzing with speculation, encouraged by Grandpa, that Grandma's will contained some "surprises".

The "Reading" was held in a conference room at a lawyer's office. Unsurprisingly, the attendees included my mom, as well as aunts, uncles, great aunts, great uncles and many of the grandchildren.

We were all surprised, however, to see PompousPastor and AssPastor from BigWhiteChurch. They informed us that Grandma's lawyer had told them that Grandma's will had bequests not only for BigWhiteChurch, but also for them personally.

Maybe it was just our imagination; but my siblings, cousins and I couldn't help noticing that these Preachers appeared to be actively salivating over their good fortune at Grandma's generosity.

Grandma had a large family, so a sizeable number of beneficiaries were named in her will. The lawyer's conference room was a bit smaller than an average middle-class living room. Extra chairs had been brought in, every seat was filled and people were standing in every remaining space.

There was barely space for all of us. Grandma's lawyer suggested that PompousPastor and AssPastor sit in chairs which were in the front of the room, next to himself. Since there was a large table in the room, this meant that the lawyer and these two Preachers were the only ones who were directly facing everyone else. Although the Preachers were gratified to be physically next to the center of attention, they did not notice, as all of the rest of us quickly noticed, that these seats made it easy for everyone else in the room to watch them closely, and practically impossible for them to leave the packed-to-more-than-overflowing room before the entire meeting was over, because they were farthest from the room's single door, and there were almost two dozen people standing or sitting between them and their only path to escape.

The bequests were quite generous, but pretty much what we had expected. Grandpa kept their house, its contents, their retirement accounts and everything that remained after all of the bequests had been satisfied. Children, grandchildren and several local charities received nice, but not extravagant, amounts of money. Several sentimental items were named and given to various friends and relatives.

Grandpa was first beneficiary listed in the will. But, after him, all of the other bequests were arranged in order of increasing worth. They started with sentimental items, which had very small cash value. Then each grandchild received several thousand dollars, then each son, daughter, brother, sister, niece and nephew received a little more, then several local non-profits received very nice amounts, etc.

Bequests to BigWhiteChurch, PompousPastor and AssPastor were (almost) the last ones listed in the will. They listened politely to the other bequests, but with steadily growing anticipation, as they noticed the exponential upward trend in Grandma's largess.

When Grandma's lawyer got to the BigWhiteChurch and Preachers' part of the will, he said, "This is a bit unusual, but before I announce these bequests to BigWhiteChurch, PompousPastor and AssPastor, Ms [Grandma's name] requested that I read the following statement to everyone present."

He opened a letter that was written in Grandma's own handwriting...

"For the past 10 years, NOT ONE person from BigWhiteChurch has ever called me, come to visit me or sent me a note to tell me that they cared about me. Not one minister, not one deacon, not one of the church women, not one of the church members who I worked with for all of those years, loved dearly and thought were my friends. I worked very hard for you when you needed me, for many, many years. But when I needed you and your church, you all pretended that I didn't exist."

"I only got one visit. When I was dying and I invited PompousPastor to come to my house and help me plan my funeral."

"This was my last attempt, after many attempts that I had made over the past 10 years, to reach out to my church and Pastor, whom I still loved dearly even though they had made it clear that they did not love me. If only I could have my funeral at my church, maybe some of my church friends, whom I had not seen in a decade, would come to the service to see me one last time. And I know they loved to hear PompousPastor preach, so if he preached at my funeral, maybe they would come to my funeral to hear him, even if they would not have come to see me.

But PompousPastor couldn't find the time to visit me, or even call me to tell me whether or not he was willing to preach at my funeral. AssPastor came by my house, but he didn't want to talk about my funeral. He just wanted me to, 'Remember his church in my will'. That's all. Just, 'Remember his church in my will'".

"It was then that I realized that I had allowed my church to break my heart for one last time. But that was the last time. The VERY last time."

"AssPastor did not know it when he visited me, but Grandpa and I had already prepared my will, long before his visit, which did include a double tithe - TWENTY PERCENT - of my ENTIRE ESTATE, for what was now my former ... FORMER ... church ... BigWhiteChurch.

This amount was [named the amount - an enormous shitload of money - generating muffled "wows" from many of her heirs, including me].

"But I got to feeling badly that we had not personally remembered such nice people as PompousPastor and AssPastor. So I changed my will to include them by name. While I was at it, I changed the amount of money that I left to BigWhiteChurch to match all of the love that they have showed to me during the last 10 years of my life, when I was suffering and lonely, and no longer able to work my ass off for them, for free, like I had done for almost half a century."

"That is her entire written statement", the lawyer said. "Now let's get back to the bequests in the will."

"Bequest to AssPastor: One Cent".

"Bequest to PompousPastor: One Cent".

"Bequest to BigWhiteChurch: One Cent".

The PompousPastor and AssPastor sat there looking like someone had just injected a gallon of novacaine into their jaws.

Every one of Grandma's family and friends felt an overwhelming urge to laugh out loud. But we kept quiet because we knew Grandma. We knew she wasn't finished yet. Grandma was simply setting them up for a one-two punch. The best was yet to come, and we didn't want to miss it.

"There is one last bequest," the lawyer continued, "For a charity called ...", which he named and I'll call "BlackCharity", then he paused before naming the amount....

Most of us had no idea what BlackCharity was. But, by the looks on their faces, we could tell that PompousPastor and AssPastor knew BlackCharity very well. Their faces displayed the same expressions of shock, dread and horror that they would have if the lawyer had said, "This bequest goes to The Demonic Baby Eaters to buy extra large rotisserie barbecue grills and tons of charcoal".

Every eye in the room was now fixated on PompousPastor and AssPastor.

The lawyer, who happened to be my uncle, one of Grandma's and Grandpa's sons, let the silence continue a few seconds more....

If we had been able to read PompousPastor's and AssPastor's minds, we would have known the history behind the looks on their faces. BlackCharity was sponsored by a large Black church just a few miles from BigWhiteChurch. They ran a free food/clothing bank, assistance programs for foster children, home delivery of pre-cooked meals for homebound seniors, legal aid, and other social services.

A long time ago, BigWhiteChurch, which was (and still is) 100% Caucasian, had provided a few years of financial and other support to BlackCharity. Then there was a very bitter, acrimonious breakup, allegedly because BlackCharity was practicing "The Social Gospel", while BigWhiteChurch was preaching "The True Gospel". BigWhiteChurch even sued to try to get some of their money back, although the suit was eventually settled and very little money actually changed hands.

But, this being The Deep South, everyone knew the real reason why BigWhiteChurch, or any white church, would stop supporting a Black charity: "Those n****** were getting uppity and not staying in their place". Grandma and Grandpa had seriously considered leaving BigWhiteChurch at that time. But they had reasoned that it was better to stay there and teach tolerance by their words and example. They knew they would never persuade everyone, but maybe they could reach some of the youth at their white church and break the generational cycle of racism. Grandma used to tell us, "My church is my Mission Field". We did not learn the true depth of her statement until after she died.

Since then, Grandma and Grandpa had secretly sent a portion of their "Tithe" to BlackCharity every month.

Most of Grandma's family, including me, didn't find out about any of this until after the meeting had ended.

But PompousPastor and AssPastor obviously understood what Grandma, by her actions which are more powerful than words, was saying to them. If you had grown up as a white person in the Deep South, as Grandma, Grandpa, PompousPastor and AssPastor had, you would understand.

To many white Southerners, this was one of the most personally insulting things you could do to them. It simultaneously labeled them as racists, condemned their bigotry and crushed their delusions of white superiority by saying, "These Black human beings, whom you hate, disrespect and have mistreated, are better people than you are. So they deserve my money more than you do".

Having allowed time for everyone to observe PompousPastor and AssPastor while they thought about how their white church had treated this Black charity, and how they AND their church had treated our Grandma...

The lawyer said, "The amount is...."

Then he named the EXACT SAME AMOUNT that Grandma had named in her handwritten letter, the huge amount of money that would have gone to BigWhiteChurch if she had not changed her will.

(source) story by (/u/BamaFan4Jesus)

#prorevenge #by /u/BamaFan4Jesus #pro revenge #revenge stories #pro revenge stories #pro #revenge #last10

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channoticedmeuwu · 3 years

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hi im gonna get emo for a while okay? okay. if youre a follower or a moot pls dont scroll by :(

okay hi so uh WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO i am : upset rn. Not like upset upset, but slightly idk aaaaa uknow? i can’t explain, but i had a really good friend of mine leave this site, and I lost a few of my friends on here. Its not like i cant live without them, but not being able to talk to them hurts me and i hope they’re all doing okay :///

i just wanted to say, i know some of us joke around saying that we’ll visit each other and have fun together with each other knowing that it’s most probably not going to happen, so if we do end up getting broken away from each other, if we do end up losing contact and if time doesn’t cooperate with us, i hope you all have a great future planned ahead and i hope you remember me as i’ll remember you. There’s something about our friendships that makes me so sad and happy at the same time, maybe you all remind me of past memories or maybe roaming the cursed dash feels like walking across memories, i don’t know. I’ll never have what i lost as a kid, and it’s never gonna come back to me. And yet you all make me feel like i never lost it in the first place, my home, which i had to leave behind, my happiness, which is probably rotting under the bed in my old home, the memories my families brought me, the old video games that i still seek comfort from by remembering how time changed, my old little games i had when things were still in one piece, and how afterwards, my entire families were ripped apart. My other home, or my now real home, is empty. I can’t stop thinking about how everyone has literally left it. All my families moved out and just left by memories literally

sometimes i wanna curl into a ball and just cry when my parents tell me that i was this happy little kid who was the cutest brat you’d meet. Sometimes i wanna fall down and hit my face when people tell me how charming and confident i was. They tell me that i changed and all i do is laugh.

sometimes i wish i could have that back. Why did i lose that? i was a kid, and i was reckless and sure i did stupid things, but damn, was it all snatched from me? now my family is on the verge of death. no lie. and they’re all moving apart. If my parents aren’t lying about moving to canada soon, then that just shows that after this cruel ruined excuse of a home is gone, i’ll only be able to look at my country in sadness

my maternal family moved out, all of them, my nana can die anytime soon, and my nani can barely keep it together. my paternal family never lived in pakistan anyway, so this place was alone from the start. Then, my dadi will move to america with her daughter, leaving my parents to pack uo and move. Who’s gonna take care of my nani? of my nana, if he survives? not with these morals that are in a brown household, she can’t live with us. Why her? she was my caretaker when i was the first child, she took care of my brother, my other cousins which are like baby siblings to me, she wished all of us nothing but happiness. Why is she having such a cursed fait?

and then, after i move, this place will hold nothing but bitter memories.

but, anyways, thank you for being my friend, and instead of reminding me of what would happen in the future, thank you for reminding me of the memories i had with my family when we were still together and when i was still happy. Thank you for talking about that video game you played last night, it reminded me of my first console which my nani and my nana gift me, which i played w everyone in my maternal family. video games hold so much memory for me, which is probably why i got so frustuated when genshin didnt download, which is probably im begging my parents for a new console. Its not because i want a stupid game, i just want to relive those memories as a kid on a hot summer afternoon with cold water and video games. I felt so happy when i played, i just want it back

thank you for making me remember what happiness feels like. Thank you for telling me you love me. Thank you for being you with me and not having a filter. Thank you for telling me that my words make you happy. And if i have to leave this site, or if we ever drift apart, or if time cuts the very fragile yet strong threat of contact we have, then i hope i brought you some sort of happiness like you all have brought me.

and please, just like i remember you, remember me. Please.

#kai's marble collection #aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa crying brb

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tappdancing · 3 years

Note

Oof is this a bad time? Or is it a great excuse to procrastinate?☆〜（ゝ。∂）

How much, out of 10, are you of each spring troupe member?

Don’t forget to take care of yourself （╹◡╹）♡

Natsugumi | Akigumi | Fuyugumi

So we’re going in order~ I guess I’ll start...But for the record I’m not explaining everything as somethings I don’t want to say ^^;;

In summary:

Sakuya = 2/10

Masumi = 2/10

Tsuzuru = 6.5/10

Itaru = 9/10

Citron = 6.5/10

Chikage = 9.5/10

Some reasoning under the cut, but the score mostly reflects it all~

Sakuya = 2/10

Apart from the ‘hides behind a smile’ there’s not many similarities

Oh and I guess the fact that relatives don’t really seem to care at all- ^^;;

Masumi = 2/10

Isolating myself with music, same here buddy same~ Other than that, there isn’t much here either as the only other thing is I’m also close to my grandmother too

Tsuzuru = 6.5/10

Hi, hello I am a sleep deprived student ^^;;. Add in the fact that I can cook as well, but I’ll just make basics when alone lol. While I’m not an older sibling (I’m actually an only child), I tend to often take care of my younger cousins, and I have been a teaching assistant in the past so I do deal with kids a lot- I’m clearly not at his standard though. I guess stubborn streak and a slight temper can also be included...

Itaru = 9/10

Oh boy- Lets just say I was a huge gamer a few years back and was obsessed with one series as well. Taruchi also seems like the kind of role model I am, only giving actual advice once in a blue moon. There’s also the fact that we both had lots of issues in school (think to kniround’s story) so there is a huge façade thing going for the both of us to deal with this. I may also be a chunni, but we won’t talk about that

Citron = 6.5/10

He was stuck becoming something he didn’t want to be. I am stuck becoming something I don’t want to be. We literally had little time to think of our own dreams to pursue until a family member decided that we must do something completely different. So now when I’ve recently been questioned by that particular member on why I’m going into a certain profession, I totally understand how Citron must’ve felt at the end of the Greatest Journey. Spoilers, I am super bitter about it as there is nothing I can do now, and very lost-

Other than this, I am a clown just for jokes and I lie quite a bit too...

Chikage = 9.5/10

Yeah fun fact I actually kin Chikage~!

Hiding feelings? Check. Lost some important relationships in the past? Check. Liar? Called a charlatan? Check and check. Huge tease? Yep~! I also LOVE spicy food! A lot! Also fellow megane here. I even have something to protect, but its not as big as Chikage’s. I keep a huge front like him so I don’t have to deal with getting close to people, as I too, was betrayed. Also, sleep deprived person who likes coding- There is more...But not saying :3

---

In conclusion I kin Chikage and Itaru from harugumi (there are more kins but you shall see the rest later lmao)

Take care too everyone~! Including you pandapillow, even though your making me suffer /j

#tapp.txt #tapp.txt2txt #tapp.txta3

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hoodoo12 · 4 years

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Familial Ties (And How To Break Them) 7/14

Mature. Breaking into a church, new demons, violence ~

He only had rudimentary knowledge of Catholicism -- that was a total lie, he knew enough to stay the hell away from that group -- but Pate insisted on the holy water, saying it would be helpful, so he went along. At least in Vegas, even a church, no one batted an eye at his appearance. That was both disconcerting and dull.

Beetlejuice hung back as Pate spoke to the priest about obtaining holy water. He flipped through a Bible he found on one of the pews. It was the same drivel he vaguely remembered from the fifteenth century.

Suddenly, Pate was back at his side, grabbing his elbow tightly and frog marching him back out of the building. She was hissing something under her breath about "stupid priests" and "don't understand the gravity" as they made their way back onto the busy sidewalk of the Strip.

"Pate, baby, what the hell?"

She told him the priest didn't believe her, that he thought they were crazy, and he wouldn't even sell them the holy water. There were also a few choice words about the whole situation, and a literal spitting rant about how the priest had wanted to call the cops.

Beetlejuice cocked his head and told her very blandly, "Yes, you're right. No one would ever think we were totally in the right about this, and only sane people traipse into a church spouting information about hellmouths and the need for gallons of holy water to destroy them. That guy was obviously delusional."

He waited till she calmed down enough to realize he was pulling her chain, then took her hand.

"Fuck that priest," he announced loudly. Only a few people passing by looked over at that. "You want that holy water? We'll just come back tonight and take it. Done and done."

Before she could muster the indignation to get angry with him, a grin broke out on Beetlejuice’s face that he quickly wiped away but it was enough to make her realize he was teasing her. Pate leveled a deadpan scowl at him and flashed him the bird, but it only made him snicker like a middle schooler before he composed himself and assured her that they’d come back that night. Though she did have her misgivings about breaking into let alone stealing from a church, she also didn’t have any better ideas about where or how to get holy water or how they’d kill the hellmouth without it. So she agreed.

There was a 24-hr diner a couple blocks over where they went to wile away the last few hours before the church closed. By nightfall, Pate had probably consumed two carafes’ worth of coffee by herself, not that the tired-looking waitress seemed to care about the half dozen used mugs on the table around her. She was much more perturbed by Beetlejuice reaching over the partition into the cooking area and grabbing a container of syrup, which he proceeded to drink straight from the spout. Pate hurriedly paid for them and hustled him out, muttering apologies.

Even after dark the streets of Las Vegas were far from empty, they might be even more vibrant and busy than they’d been during the day. But down the street where the church was located, things appeared quiet as the two of them approached the building, dark but for the light that shone through a beautiful stained-glass window at the front.

“A place like this has gotta have a security system,” Pate mused aloud. “Any ideas on how we get in?”

With a confident smirk, Beetlejuice loudly cracked his knuckles.

“Please, babe, give me a challenge at least!”

He cast a quick look around, as if searching for something, his gaze settling on a utility pole. Glancing back over his shoulder to waggle his eyebrows at her, he made a quick swiping motion with his hand, growling low in his throat as he did. Immediately there was a loud electrical snap and a shower of sparks fell from the transformer atop the pole. The stained-glass window went dark as the light inside abruptly switched off. As did the lights in a few adjacent buildings, the entire corner now swathed in shadows.

He turned back to face her, adjusting the cuffs of his suit jacket and gesturing with both hands like a stage magician who’d just performed a particularly mystifying illusion. Pate hummed in approval, clapping her hands with only a little irony.

“Impressive. What else can you do?”

"Oh, I can make lots of sparks fly, baby," he replied off-handedly, "but here on the street that'll get us arrested even in Sin City. Come on, I'll boost you up. You get in there, grab the water, and we're golden. You brought something to carry it in, right?"

Pate shrugged, dislodging the shoulder strap of a hydration pack she’d brought from home.

“From my hiking phase,” she informed him with a grin. “Can your demon magic jimmy the lock on the window?”

Beetlejuice simply snapped his fingers and even from where they stood Pate heard the tell tale click of the lock springing open. He moved past her, backing against the wall and lacing his fingers together for her to step in. Pate tried to be gentle, grasping his shoulders to keep steady as he hoisted her to the window. It gave easily, sliding open and permitting her to wriggle in.

It looked like a classroom, so she found her way to the sanctuary where she’d glimpsed a ceremonial basin on their earlier trip. Naturally it was empty, they must fill it only when needed. Which meant it had to come from somewhere. Pate headed for the pastor’s office, rummaging in desk drawers and the closet and filing cabinet until she unearthed a clear plastic bottle with a label that read “Consecrated Holy Water from the river Jordan.”

Perfect!

She went ahead and took the whole bottle, pushing a chair against the wall to boost her back to the sill.

“Score!” she called quietly to Beetlejuice, dropping the bottle into his waiting hands.

He caught the dropped bottle, set it down, and stretched upward to help Pate down from the window. He let his hands squeeze and linger on her backside for an extra moment; if accused of being inappropriate he'd just use the excuse he wanted to make sure she didn't stumble as she came back down to the sidewalk. He nodded at the bottle he'd set down.

"Good. Now can we get back to the hotel? Big day tomorrow. You're gonna need your rest, I want you on your back--" he said, but was cut off by gasp from her.

She flashed him a knowing grin when she felt his fingers gripping her ass, bracing her outstretched arms against his shoulders again as she dropped back down to the ground, his hands resting on her hips, hers still laid atop his shoulders. Pate rolled her eyes at his lurid talk, smiling even as she shook her head when something beyond him caught her eye.

Darkness still enveloped the corner around the church, maybe the whole block, but she could see movement. After a moment her eyes picked out a four legged shape, slinking cautiously across the road towards them as if wary of their presence. It looked like a dog at first glance, but as it drew closer she realized it was massive, three feet tall at least, with a large squarish head, low slung neck and humped shoulders like a hyena. It also appeared to have no fur or ears, drooping jowls dripping with saliva and eyes that gleamed.

She gasped harshly, realizing all at once that the eyes were not reflecting light because there was no light. Whatever this creature was, its large round eyes were glowing.

"What is that?" she whispered.

"--eh?" Beetlejuice replied, slightly annoyed something else had caught her attention when it should've been his. But her hands had become tight on his shoulders, and it wasn't in a good way. He turned to see what she could possibly be looking at.

The skulking shape even gave him a start, and his cold blood ran colder.

"Dziban," he said in a choked voice.

Suddenly, he wasn't sure what to do. He could get out of here, but didn't know if he could pull Pate through the ether with him, and like their distantly related-cousins the Hounds of Tindalos, they could travel through it too. Boost her back up into the church? Just fucking run? Frozen by indecision was a poor choice, but no option was a good one.

For Beetlejuice of all people to sound thoroughly shaken seemed a bad sign. The creature--Dziban, he'd called it?-- was skulking closer, peering at them with its gaping, pupil-less eyes. It looked emaciated, the mange-dark skin pulled tight over every bone and muscle. Pate shivered, her hands tightening on Beetlejuice's shoulders at the disturbingly human front paws, the toes as long as her own fingers and tipped with claws that clacked on the pavement as it padded ever nearer.

"Beej, what do we do?" she gulped, almost more frightened of this beast than she had been of the specter's malevolent sibling.

"You're going to go. Just put your head down and get the fuck out of here," he told her fiercely. No time for pithy comments now. He kept his eyes on the vaguely canid creature padding closer. "Rigel called Dziban out of that fucking book. I'm sure he sent it after me, so I'll keep it distracted."

He risked a look at her.

"Pate, just go!"

In the second he'd taken his eyes off Dziban, it'd covered a third of the block. He'd forgotten they could slip through corporeal space too. With its lipless mouth, it looked like it was smiling at the two of them, even as a thin tongue slipped between its teeth to test the air.

"Seriously, baby, you've gotta go!"

Beetlejuice put a hand on her shoulder and pushed as he stepped between her and the creature.

Her heart was hammering like she'd sprinted a mile already, watching the thing close the distance between them. She stood paralyzed on shaking legs, unable to follow Beetlejuice's command even if she wanted to. Fear had its talons in her, but she dithered, torn between giving in to her body's own instinct to run like a terrified rabbit or the compulsion to find some sort of weapon to protect herself and him.

When he positioned himself protectively in front of her, giving her shoulder a stiff shove to get her moving, it seemed the decision was made. She turned to bolt and was met with another pair of brightly glowing eyes and exposed teeth. She screamed and backpedaled away from a second creature.

Fucking fuck fuck fuck!

How could he have been so fucking stupid not to remember Dziban travelled in a fucking pair?!

At Pate's scream Beetlejuice spun, saw the second Dziban, and grabbed her. Pulling her off balance, he shoved her against the wall of the church, keeping himself between her and the creatures as best as possible. They had the two of them flanked, and they were going to play with them like prey, and drag them back to the Netherworld maybe alive but mostly dead.

Again without taking the time to give her any indication what he was going to do, he spun, grabbed Pate again, and shoved her upwards towards the broken window again.

"Get the fuck in!" he ordered, even as the first creature took the opportunity to rush him.

Pate gave a startled yelp when Beetlejuice seized her around the waist and all but threw her back at the window which she had neglected to close. Hands and arms scrabbling for purchase, she just managed to catch herself when his supporting hands left her, her ears filled with hellish snarls and growls. Contorting awkwardly, half in and half out of the window, Pate turned to see that one of the monsters had charged at Beetlejuice while the other remained fixated on her.

He just barely had the time to hoist her upward before Dziban was on him. He twisted as it launched itself at him; it was large enough to easily reach his throat but he managed to deflect it from its goal with his shoulder instead. Still, that got it close enough for purchase with its hands, and he had to grapple it while off balance. Pate still hadn't pulled herself fully into the church! He decided it was dark enough and plus the fact that fucking hellhounds were attacking them a few extra otherworldly phenomenon wasn't going to break any tourist's brain any further, so instead of trying to fend off the beast with the two most human hands he owned, the black tentacles erupted from the ether and wrapped around Dziban. They lent shadow mass to him as well, and helped stabilize him a little.

It hurt grabbing this thing; why did every fucking creature from the Netherworld have some weird extra ability?! Dziban were angry, hungry creatures and of course they had poisonous skin like goddamn frogs too! Why wouldn't that be the case?! he thought bitterly as the tentacles holding it most tightly ached and became weaker.

It still bit and scratched and that hurt too.

And Pate still wasn't through that goddamned window!

She tried to keep an eye on Beetlejuice as she squatted uncomfortably in the open window while also keeping the second hellhound occupied. She whistled to it like it really was just an overgrown border collie, letting her arm dangle down as low as she dared to tantalize it into keeping its attention on her.

When Dziban raised itself onto its hind legs to snap at her, she jerked her hand back, whimpering quietly when its horrifically humanoid paws gouged furrows down the cement wall. Turning her attention back to Beetlejuice she could see the writhing shadowy tentacles she had first glimpsed when they fought with Rigel in her apartment. They were wrapped around the hellhound's body, holding its clawed paws and snapping jaws at bay while others coiled around its throat, squeezing tighter and tighter until the beast's struggling started to weaken.

As if homing in on its twin's distress, the second hound turned toward the demon, growling. She wanted to call him, to warn him, but she worried that if she distracted him now the other hellhound might break free. With a tiny gasp she remembered the bottle tucked under her arm, whipping the cap off with fumbling fingers and holding it out as far as she could reach, dripping an uninterrupted stream down Dziban's back.

The hellhound flinched and snarled, shaking itself very much like a regular dog, but was otherwise unaffected and Pate's heart sank into her stomach like a lead weight.

“Consecrated Holy Water from the river Jordan my ass!”

It took more concentration and strength to effectively keep teeth and nails off him, especially feeling the effects of whatever venom the thing was secreting, but his tentacles held tight and slowly, slowly, Dziban's life slipped away. With a feral grin on his face, it gave him almost orgasmic joy to see the light fading from the creature's pupil-less eyes, even as it continued to snap and scrabble at him. A sudden splashing of water startled him, but the tentacles knew their work and continued slowly crushing. Pate's yell was more distracting, and he didn't catch what she'd said, so he turned to see what was happening.

In his moment of distraction, the beast he held struggled mightily so he turned back to focus on it again. That was enough to give the second Dziban--or the same Dziban, weren't they fucking clones or hiveminds or something?!--enough opportunity to leap forward and grab him.

Not by a tentacle, not by his suit: the hellhound's jaws closed on his shoulder and upper arm, and Beetlejuice went to his knees in agony.

"BEEJ!" she screamed, horrified, too far away to do anything other than spectate as the hellhound sank its teeth into his shoulder.

Goddammit, she had to do something! Craning to look over her shoulder back into the church, eyes searching desperately for something, anything she could use to fight them off him. There was a tall decorative cross of gilded, gold colored metal set in a stand. Struggling to lower her legs back down to the chair, Pate raced across the room, snatched the processional cross in both hands and ran back to the window, hauling herself up and pulling the pole with her.

Without Beetlejuice there to catch her, the drop back down to the ground looked much more daunting, but she took a breath and jumped. A painful jolt rocketed from her ankles to her knees and she pitched forward, catching herself on her elbows with a pained grunt. Getting to her feet, Pate gripped the standard tightly in both hands and raced forward, jabbing at the hellhound's ribs with the pointed end of the metal cross.

"Get the fuck off him!"

He had to get up. No fucking way was he going to be dragged down by fucking Rigel's fucking beasts! Beetlejuice snarled wordlessly and refused to loosen his grip on Dziban number one. It was fading fast. The second he tried to twist away from, to protect his head and neck, and then, from nowhere, a metal pole slammed into the creature, staggering it and forcing it to release him.

Pate looked scared and fierce, but she shouldn't be here--!

She obviously didn't get the message. She swung whatever that pole was, barely missing his head, and stabbed at Dziban again. Whether it was the metal it was made of or the fact it was a religious artifact, it made the hellhound jump back a bit. It gave a whiney, snarly noise that had no earthly equivalent, and it faded away. The one he had grappled also slipped away like water in cupped hands. Beetlejuice wasn't sure if he'd killed it or it was taken by its kin.

It was suddenly too quiet, and pain caught up to him. He was glad he was still on his knees, because he would have probably collapsed if he hadn't been.

Just as suddenly as they'd appeared, the hellbeasts seemed to evaporate like fog burnt away by sunlight. Pate's chest was still heaving, her blood singing in her ears and her heart thumping a frantic tattoo in her chest. Not sure if the demon hounds may come back, she kept a tight hold on her improvised weapon and lowered herself on trembling legs next to Beetlejuice. His pale face was somehow even paler, eyes pinched shut and jaw clenched in obvious pain.

She exhaled a quiet string of expletives at the sight of the dark liquid seeping through his fingers, gripped tightly around the bite wound on his shoulder.

"Can you stand up?" she asked softly and after a moment he swallowed hard and gave her a stiff nod, shifting his feet and rising a little unsteadily.

Pate stood with him, one arm held out as if to catch him if he lost his balance. She was loathe to drop the processional cross but she needed both arms, positioning herself under his uninjured arm and taking it around her shoulders while her own arm wrapped around his waist to help support him.

"I've got you," she murmured, uttering other meaningless soothing words to him as they limped back towards the hotel.

tbc . . .

#writing #fanfiction #Beetlejuice #Beetlejuice x OC #rp #Beetlejuice based on Blumjuice

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etraytin · 4 years

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Quarantine, Day 43

Oh, my sweet chili babies, today has been A DAY. I told you yesterday how I got two two-week old kittens, my first of the season. It was very exciting and not too stressful, two week kittens usually go 3-4 hours between feeds, so there is some opportunity for sleeping, and with a pair, feeds typically don't take too long. Sweet adorable kittens, relatively basic bottlefeeding, no problem, right? I did a feed at 1am, a feed at 5am, and set my alarm for 9am.

A little before eight this morning, I woke up because my phone was blowing up, enough that the vibrating woke me even though the sound was off. My TNR group chat was in a frenzy because a person called our coordinator about a local feral who'd started having kittens on her porch, but then the woman had gone outside, scared the shit out of Mama, and long story short, the cat was running around the yard screaming, with a kitten hanging half out. Not ideal! By the time I caught up with things, two of our trappers were out there but Mama had hit the road, leaving behind one dead kitten, presumably the one she'd had the trouble with, and one alive kitten, placenta still attached, still wet from birth. I talked them through drying and warming the kitten, separating the placenta, etc, all with my brain at about 70% function. It became clear fairly quickly that the mama was not coming back, at least not any time soon, and the baby was getting hungry, so something had to be done.

I am the only bottlefeeder at our rescue who regularly handles days-old kittens, but even for me, this was a new record. The other trappers brought him to me, cradled in one's cupped hands, held close to the heating vent. They named him "You're Killin' Me, Smalls," or Smalls for short. He weighed 81 grams at his first feeding, slightly less than two packs of gum, but he was fully furred (full fur means full-term kitten) and rooting energetically. He suckled on the syringe, all good signs for his prognosis, but newborn kittens are shockingly fragile. Smalls needs two hour feeds, all through the day and night.

After I fed Smalls, I had to separate Amy and Rosa because Amy was exhibiting sibling suckling behavior, which is maladaptive instinct that makes a kitten suckle on anything catlike nearby. Not that bad if it's a blanket or a stuffed toy, but can be very damaging if it is a sibling. So I got out a whole other set of carrier, towels, stuffed toy, heating pad, and set up a second kitten setup. Then I had to feed the girls. They both still have food-change diarrhea, and it was not getting any better. I texted with our vet tech, who suggested more frequent, smaller meals. So all the kittens went onto two hour feeds.

I realized in the afternoon that I was going to need more kitten formula sooner than I expected, so I went to the pet store by my house. Nobody there, neither customers nor staff, were wearing masks or distancing. Lovely. And they didn't even have KMR, just its cut-rate cousin, PetLac. If I wanted soy formula, I could've gotten it a lot cheaper at Walmart, since it's all they sell. In the parking lot, I got a call from the rescue coordinator. I told her I was having trouble finding KMR. She told me she had a brand new can for me, and also another kitten. A what? I basically asked. Apparently Rosa and Amy had a sibling who somehow got mixed in with the TWENTY FIVE OTHER KITTENS that this farm owner had brought in today. Also, a lot of the kittens were way younger than advertised, which is a big problem when you have three bottlefeeders and twenty bottlefeedees. So I took the can, and the kitten, and that's how I ended up with Jake!

Jake is a weird puzzle that I haven't figured out yet. He's sick with something, probably something respiratory since he has serious eye goopies, but no other discharge yet. He also seems to loathe being alive. He hates the bottle, he hates the syringe, he hates milk, he hates being weighed or washed. He expresses his hatred by twisting his tiny body in such a way as to attempt to hurl himself into the void and to the ground far below. Once he is in the carrier with Rosa he settles down, but it literally takes twenty minutes to get a teaspoonful of milk into him. The girls aren't much better, honestly, and Smalls is pretty slow but he has the excuse of being zero days old. My four kittens need to be fed every two hours and feeding them takes an hour. It's going to be a long, long week.

Anyway, I'm going to lay down for an hour and contemplate the hubris of wishing for kittens even though I knew I'd be punished for it. At least they are cute and extremely fluffy, and if I can just keep them alive it will all be worth it. If anybody would like to contribute to the effort, I have an Amazon Wishlist of kitten supplies right here. I especially need Breeders Edge powder, it's expensive but everyone I've talked to says it is the best thing for food change diarrhea. Here's hoping, cause I've gotten pooped on A. Lot today.

#quarantine #kitten #foster kitten #cat rescue #is sometimes more than we bargain for #i love raising neonates but it's honestly like having a human baby #you forget the hell afterwards and only remember the cute and lovey parts #it's why people have more than one kid #or more than one bottlefed litter

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staytiny-angel · 5 years

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Safe Haven 4/?

Rating: E

Pairings: Drew McIntyre/Becky Lynch, Eventually Drew McIntyre/Becky Lynch/Seth Rollins, Jon Moxley/Renee Young, Sasha Banks/Bayley/Charlotte Flair, Mandy Rose/Trent Seven, Jordan Devlin/Millie McKenzie, Ruby Riott/Liv Morgan

Warnings for this Chapter: mentions of violence

Chapter Summary: Drew and Becky get to know their new mate better while meeting members of his unorthodox family, Plans are made to rescue Roman from Heyman's evil clutches.

Taglist:

@hitory--chan @sethsevolution @finnsauroraborealis @the-beastslayers-queen @pikapuff316 @writinglionqueen @writtingrose

"SETHIE!" Seth hadn't even made it back to town before being tackled by a overly hyperactive blonde girl.

"I missed you too Liv" Seth groaned, slightly out of breath.

"You're lucky I'm here and not Rubes, she's very mad at ya"

Seth grimaced at the thought of seeing his older sister.

"Hey! Redhead!" Liv yelled at Becky. "Is this too basic" she gestured at her hair.

"Um-"

"You're right, too boring" Liv pulled out a compact mirror and smiled at it, Becky and Drew staring in shock as her hair turned bubblegum pink.

"How?" Drew asked Seth.

"Liv's a chaos fairy. Hyper 24/7, pranks everybody. C'mon brat" Liv squealed and hopped onto his back..

"Hey Livvie, Mom conjured my clothes..would you mind?" Seth asked his sister's girlfriend

Drew and Becky watched curiously as the unremarkable clothes Seth's mother had put on him morphed into dark-grey skinny jeans and a blood-red t-shirt.

"Hair too?" the fairy asked

"Yes please."

Seth shook his head and a quarter of it immediately went blond "There ya go Sethie! You look like you again, only bigger!" Liv giggles, patting the wolf on the head.

"Thanks Livvy" Seth grinned. "You're still small though"

"I'm still bigger than Millie!" Liv managed to kick Seth in the hip. "Good luck apologizing to everyone. Trent's mad because you made Tyler cry!"

"Tyler always cries!"

"Okay true, but you also made Mandy upset!"

"How long have you been away from home?" Becky asks

"I haven't lived in Haven in 8 years. I lost contact with everyone 18 months ago." Seth explained

"Dude the only reason we didn't completely lose it was because we still felt you through the pack bond" Liv tells him "We knew you weren't dead but...it was hard, anyway so why are you with the newbies?" Liv asked as they made their way to the main house.

"They're my mates." Seth said simply.

"Oooooh, Sethie's got two mates!" Liv said excitedly. Becky looking at her with caution. "I need to see Sarah, you are making me coffee later!" Liv hugged him and skipped off, Becky and Drew watching her.

"I've only heard of chaos fairies, she was...unique" Becky said.

"I need to remind Ceasero she's not allowed any caffeine" Seth said shaking his head

The three mates walked along the path back to the town in silence after Liv left. None of them really knowing what to say.

"So you guys have had this town for a long time?" Becky finally broke the increasingly uncomfortable tension

"My grandparents founded Haven. Grandfather...used to run a circus and all of the acts were different beings. When he retired, everyone just settled here. Haven was these old fairgrounds and some of the woods surrounding it."

"A Circus?" Drew exclaimed

"Grandfather was a warlock, especially skilled in persuasion and he figured it would be a way for him and his friends to not only use their abilities for profit, but to not have to hide as much. Normies will ignore most Supe shit if they think its a trick"

"Absolutely true, they're dense as hell" Becky replied.

"So, you knew Finn?" Seth asked.

"Sort of, his name was Prince back then, always wondered what happened, not surprised that vampires had something to do with it...when they helped save you. I can't believe I just said that" Becky facepalmed, remembering what Mox and Stephanie had said.

Seth smiled and shook his head "I know Haven is an odd case. Weird even amongst the weird. I mean, I'm the Wolf/Warlock hybrid that claims a Lion, a Witch, a Vampire Queen and a Vampire thats the vessel for a literal demon king for parents. Weird is kinda my thing"

"Do you remember that night?" Becky asked. Seth looked down, toying with his amulet before sitting down.

"A little. I remember being in a car with my mommy and daddy" Seth said in a faraway voice "The was a big flash of light and loud noise, and then I was flying through the woods. I had bite marks on the back of my neck. Knowing now what I know about my bio parents, I think my Mom shifted and was carrying me through the woods by the scruff of my neck."

Becky hesitantly reached over and touched the top of Seth's bowed head. Drew looking on silently. It seemed like his spitfire was already growing attached to the younger man, while Drew himself was more hesitant. Seth lived...by Drew's upbringing, an unnatural life. Haven was a lot to get used to and he'd had Becky to himself for so long.

"Do you think it's possible that your mom changed you?" Drew asked. "To protect you?"

"Could be I don't know" Seth pulled his hair. "I don't like thinking about it"

"Hey brat" A girl said, materializing next to the three. She was holding a coffee cup and had red lowlights and was so pale, Drew thought she could be a vampire.

"Hey, Ruby." Seth said quietly, "Guys this is one of my sisters."

"Yo." The girl greeted them easily and handed her brother the Chicago Bears to-go mug "One Double Chocolate Cappuccino, courtesy of Cesaro. Figured you could use it, heard you haven't had coffee in a year or so."

"No espresso?" Seth groaned.

"You know he puts too much in" Ruby said, "Besides I want to be able to sleep tonight. Your howling was obnoxious" she turned to Drew and Becky. "If either of you hurt my little brother, I will rip out your eyes and shove them down your throats"

"Ruby."

"What it's true. We lost you once, brat. Never again" She replied with a smile

"Did anyone mention that Seth is the baby?" Ruby asked

"Millie is younger then me thank you very much" Seth said rolling his eyes and taking a sip of his drink

"Millie hasn't been missing for 18 months, and gone for 7 and a half years before that. So excuse us if we're all a bit concerned about all this" she says waving a hand at Drew and Becky.

"Excuse me, who's Millie?" Becky asked.

"My baby cousin" Seth replied fondly. "She's my Uncle Shawn's kid"

"She's a fire siren, sneezes out fire like crazy" Ruby added, drinking her coffee.

"She doesn't have much in the way of control yet. So she sets shit on fire a lot...luckily her mate is a water sprite. Jordan is really great st putting out flare-ups" Seth explains "Please don't threaten my mates. Honestly, I'm a hot mess. I doubt they even want to be with me anyway"

"Nonsense" Ruby waved her hand. "Mates are mates always. Do you think I would have gotten with Liv by choice?" Seth chuckled and blushed when Becky smiled at him. " Does anyone know about Ro?" He asked.

Ruby's face fell. "Mom is working on a tracking spell, since you don't remember exactly where Heyman's compound is located. Dad is making her rest before she casts it though so that won't be done until tomorrow, the good this is that Heyman can only do his enslaving curse during the full moon...so we have 6 days to find Ro."

"Fuck" Seth pulled at his hair. "None of this would have happened if I hadn't ran away"

"Stop it" Drew said, gently pulling Seth's hands down.

Drew had sat there quietly listening to the exchange between Seth and his sister, trying to learn more about the odd man the fates had bound him and his firecracker to. From what he'd gathered so far Seth was well-loved by his mismatched pack and had been sorely missed while on his journey of self-discovery.

"Don't beat yourself up. You couldn't have known any of this would happen" Drew says softly, still holding Seth's hands in his larger ones. Seth's brother had been right. Seth did look amazingly...like a slightly smaller version of himself, less so now that part of his hair was platinum blonde.

"He's my big brother" Seth whimpered. "He doesn't even know I'm not mad at him anymore, if Paul's spell works on him, he'll be gone for good" Drew unknowingly wiped away a tear that had trailed down Seth's face.

Becky wrapped her arms around Seth's waist "That isn't going to happen, sweetheart. We are going to get your brother back and Heyman will pay for everything he's done to both of you." She says fiercely. To which Seth nodded but said nothing.

"Forgive me for asking but are you his sister from the witch side or vampire side?" Drew asked Ruby.

"Stephanie and Hunter, can't be around Finn and Violet, my blood is toxic and Bálor hates me" Ruby answered

"I only have one sibling from Finn and Violet and that's Jordan. He's the last of Finn's pre vampiric bloodline. His parents died when he was a baby, and an old woman from his clan brought him to Haven shortly after" Seth tells them.

"Is this the same Jordan that's your cousin's mate?" Becky asked. "Yeah, thought my uncle was gonna kill him, then Finn was gonna kill him" Seth shook his head.

"Haven is completely integrated? " Drew asked, he and Becky hadn't realized just how many different species of Supernatural inhabited the small town.

"Unless they can't be around each other for a physiological reason, yep" Ruby answered "One of our cousins is a sun sprite, and she glows with actual sunlight. So she can't be around Finn and Violet."

"No one gets turned away unless you give our father a reason to" Seth said, "The pack is a family"

#shai writes #seth rolllins #seth rollins fanfic #seth rollins fic #seth rollins imagine #seth rollins smut #becky lynch fanfic #becky lynch #drew mcintyre fanfic #drew macintyre #drew mcintyre #rollynch #Rollynchtyre

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junetuesday · 5 years

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12 Days of Christmas - *8*

Pairing: Tom Holland x Female Reader

Warnings: none i dont think???? shocking i know

Word Count: 1353 (she’s a shorty fillery thing)

A/N: Yada yada late upload etc etc. It’s before 4am though so that’s something, right? Full disclosure, I heard a woman on tv say the line about cheese and @spiderboytotherescue thought it was about dick so I mean I had to put it in here. Also hope you guys get the Love Actually reference otherwise the last line will be extremely confusing. I haven’t proofread this and nothing really happens in it but heyho xx

December 18th

If there was one thing that would persuade you to go out on a four-degree December day, it’s a Christmas market. And as luck would have it, there was one such market not ten minutes from your flat - and a particularly good one at that.

Bundled up in a knitted jumper, your winter coat, black jeans and an exceptionally cute cream beanie-scarf-gloves combo, you all but dragged Tom by the hand through the high street. You wandered through the stalls, peering into each little wooden hut as you passed. Most were selling food; homemade jams and chutneys in jars topped with gingham-printed lids populated one stand, another overflowing with different cured meats and cheeses. You stared longingly at a huge block of stilton, but Tom pulled you away, wrinkling up his nose at the strong smell. If there was one thing you would change about your boyfriend, it would be his aversion to, shall we say, more sophisticated cheeses - i.e. ones that require their own drawer in the fridge.

“So disgusting,” he grimaced.

“And yet I still want to put it in my mouth,” you sighed, ignoring Tom’s smirk and quirked brow.

Reluctantly, you left the food stalls behind to browse through a selection of handmade jewellery. You chatted with the owner, trying to ignore your growling stomach as the woman described the spiritual properties of each of the stones in a necklace.

“Which one’s the Mind Stone?” Tom murmured in your ear, pressing against you as he pretended to inspect a truly hideous pair of earrings.

You faked a cough, bringing your gloved hand up to your face to conceal your giggle and nodding earnestly at whatever the woman was saying about auras. You had been quite interested in what she was saying, but now Tom had planted the idea in your head and you couldn’t stop picturing the necklace around Thanos’ giant purple neck.

Excusing yourself as politely as possible without actually buying anything, you squeezed past other shoppers to rejoin the stream of shoppers looping around the perimeter of the market. Stopping occasionally to look at a stall or point out a dog in a coat, you made your way around until you were back at the food stalls. This time though, you spotted something you hadn’t seen the first time, and Tom’s arm very nearly popped out of its socket from the force with which to pulled him to the counter.

“One Nutella crepe, please!”

You watched hungrily as the owner poured batter over a cast iron plate, spreading it thinly across the hot metal as it cooked. Pulling your gloves off with your teeth (cream gloves and chocolate spread don’t mix well), you recorded a Boomerang on your phone as Nutella was drizzled over, melting deliciously over the golden batter. By the time the owner handed you your crepe, folded over on itself and wrapped in a napkin, you were salivating.

Biting into the hot pancake, chocolate oozing into your mouth, you moaned, your eyes rolling back in culinary pleasure.

“Enjoying yourself?” Tom smirked, chuckling when you nodded enthusiastically. “Think you could handle getting a hot chocolate or will that push you over the edge?”

Licking a smudge of chocolate from the corner of your mouth, you nodded again. Looking around for a moment, you jabbed your crepe in the direction of a nearby bench. With melted chocolate sticking to the roof of your mouth, words were not an option, but Tom got the gist.

The metal seat was cold beneath your thighs when you sat down, your legs bouncing to keep warm as you waited for Tom to come back with your drink. Munching happily on your crepe, you took the opportunity to people watch. Being a Tuesday afternoon, it wasn’t exactly heaving, but there were a fair few people out. You watched a young mother crouching down in front of her son’s pushchair, trying desperately to shove his woolly hat back on his head after each time he tore it off. Kids are weird, you thought, I wouldn’t take this hat off if you paid me.

Taking another bite of your rapidly disappearing crepe, you turned your attention to an elderly couple across the street. You’d seen them about before, the man with his walking frame and the woman walking in front of him, pulling him along by the frame like it was a supermarket trolley with a wonky wheel as opposed to a walking aid. You watched them shuffling along the street together, contemplating what their story might be as you ate. Were they childhood sweethearts? Maybe they were on-again-off-again lovers in their youth, separated by some twist of fate, only to be reunited as divorcees some forty years later? Maybe they weren’t even a couple, maybe they were siblings, cousins, friends - you’d never know, but that’s all part of the fun.

“Stop staring at that old man.”

Tom’s voice pulled you from your speculations, a steaming cup of hot chocolate in each of his hands.

“How do you know I wasn’t staring at the woman?”

You nodded matter-of-factly when he shrugged, popping the last of your crepe into your mouth. Wiggling your legs as you got to your feet, you tried to regain some of the feeling in your thighs that you’d lost from sitting on the freezing metal.

“Apparently that’s how you get piles,” Tom noted as he handed you your drink. “Sitting on cold surfaces.”

“That-ah-” you took a sip, panting when the hot liquid burned your tongue. “That’s not true, but can we please not talk about piles?”

Taking your hand, Tom gave an exaggerated sigh.

“You never want to talk about anything fun.”

You pottered around the shops hand in hand for a while, sipping your drinks once they’d cooled down (and a couple of times before - you never learn). You snapped a few photographs as you went - one of the Christmas tree in front of shopping centre, one of the phone boxes toppled over like dominoes on Old London Road - and a couple of Tom looking startled with fans who mustered up the courage to ask for a picture after not-very-subtly following you around John Lewis for twenty minutes.

“Why do you look so terrified?” you laughed as you walked away. “You’re literally on camera for a living but as soon as someone goes to take a picture it’s like you lose control of your face.”

“You’re such a bitch, anyone ever tell you that?”

“Once or twice,” you shrugged, squeezing Tom’s hand as he linked his fingers through yours. “No one important though.”

By the time you left the department store, heavily laden with bags and most of your Christmas shopping complete, you were about ready to head home and fall onto the sofa in a heap. You were just about to suggest this to Tom when he stopped dead in his tracks, a panicked look on his face.

“Oh shit-”

“What?” You rejigged the bags in your hands, the handles cutting into your palms as you looked over your shoulder at him.

“I forgot to- hang on.” He stepped to the side, out of the way of people coming in and out of the store before setting his bags down. “Wait here, don’t follow me, I’ll be back.”

He pressed a kiss to your forehead, leaving you bewildered by the umbrellas as he scurried away back into the depths of the department store.

Five minutes later he reappeared, slightly out of breath and his cheeks flushed pink.

“Ready to go?” He smiled brightly at you, picking up the bags he’d set on the floor.

“You know I can see the box in your back pocket, right?”

Tom’s face drained of colour, his mouth opening and closing uselessly as his brain flicked through possible excuses.

“That- well - it’s-”

You shifted your bags to one hand, holding his jaw still with the other so you could bring you lips to hover just over his.

“If that turns out to be a fucking Joni Mitchell CD I will murder you.”

tags:@starksparker, @bi-writes , @snowflakespideys , @buckyparkerish , @thwippeter , @cutiehollands , @loserparker , @madmadmilk , @hollandlovely@spiderboytotherescue , @santahollands @dtftomholland @moonkissedtom@cabbagebag @iknowisoundcrazy , @spiderman-n, @luvnyuh , @parkerpuff @thwip-it-real-good @positiveparker @ap93mcu @popculture-parker@christmas-marvel @younglove16 @girlreaderr @pineapplwz @thequeensardine@idk-who-cares @hollandroos @mikalaka @thot–holland @awkwardfangirl2014 @booksaremylife602 @learning-howto-be-myselfx3 @dacrekaydaddict @lovelyspidey @summernykole @smashley816

@unicorn-princess-1999 @uwu-peter-parker-uwu @sleepwalkingdragon @adisneygeek01 @hs-medicine @thelazypangolin @curlyhairedparker @curlytoms

#12 days of christmas fic #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland fluff #tom holland fic #tom holland fanfic #tom holland christmas fic

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allthefilmsiveseenforfree · 5 years

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Mary Poppins Returns

I’m a bad Disney fan, because I have only seen the original Mary Poppins once, and that was probably 20 years ago. I recognize the spirit and emotional flavor of it more than I really remember it, you know? So forgive me if my comparisons of this sequel to the original are not quite accurate - I’m working off of feelings here more than anything. And there were quite a few feelings being felt during my showing of Mary Poppins Returns. What kind of feelings? Well...

Mainly wonder, a tiny bit of boredom, and a deep sadness followed by overwhelming joy. The plot of Mary Poppins Returns (as if that’s why you’re seeing it) follows young Michael and Jane Banks (Ben Whishaw and Emily Mortimer), the siblings from the original, now all grown up. Michael has three young children of his own and they’re struggling to keep the household running smoothly about a year after Michael’s wife has died. Jane is helping as best she can, but when lawyers come calling to collect on an overdue loan things look very dire, and the Banks family is going to lose the home that’s been theirs for over 30 years. If they can find the certificates of ownership showing they own shares in the bank, they can save the house but if not...the house is gone forever on Friday at midnight. Enter Mary Poppins (Emily Blunt) to take care of the children during this time of crisis (with some help from lamp-lighter Lin Manuel Miranda) and help remind Michael of what’s really important.

Some thoughts:

Emily Blunt does an incredible job making the role her own as much as she can. It's impossible to measure up to the incomparable Julie Andrews, but I think this is as close as you could get. I love that her Mary Poppins is a little more brusque, a little more twinkling eye because she’s in on the joke. I couldn’t imagine this one singing “A Spoonful of Sugar” but that’s also not what these kids need, so it works really really well.

Colin Firth! How could you!

The scene stealer for me is honestly Ben Whishaw, but I've been his biggest fan since 2012. His song in which he sings to his dead wife because he misses her terribly and doesn’t know what to do had me literally sobbing. That’s what they don’t tell you about finding the love of your life and getting married - now any time I watch anything in which someone loses their spouse, I’m a wreck because I’m imagining what it would be like if I lost Wife and I cannot. handle. it. Combine that with the4 dulcet tones of maybe the sweetest, best actor in Britain and I just...*SOB*

I regret to say the film does feel longish. About 20 min too long. If it were me, I would have cut some of the extended dance numbers and honestly jettisoned Meryl Streep’s number as a crazy Russian(?) cousin who fixes unfixable things. I love Meryl as much as the next person, but this sequence felt like it took aaaaaages for very little payoff that could have been gotten elsewhere.

The big cameo appearances were excellently done in a way that didn't feel forced or pandering.

It’s honestly kind of weird to think of a big bank working FOR people's interests and swooping in to save the day rather than dancing in the flames of people’s misfortune. Although I suppose the film is set over 100 years ago, so maybe this is meant to be a quaint reminder of capitalism’s yesteryear when big banks weren’t predatory monsters? I’m happy we get a happy ending, but I grew up during the housing crisis, so you’ll excuse me if all is not forgiven after one feel-good movie.

Shockingly, I was very pleased with the children’s performances. Excellent casting, because the children are so integral to a movie like this successfully achieving its goals.

The lamplighter choreography was very Newsies-esque, but probably the closest to a showstopping number. Overall the choreography and dancing performances were lovely to watch.

The music! While none of the songs have that instant classic Sherman Brothers shine to them, they’re trying their damndest to get there. All are passable and worthy follow-ups to the original film’s songs. Wife pointed out that the songs seemed to specifically be written for the adult actors’ range, rather than the other way round, which leads to stronger vocal performances from Blunt and Miranda. There’s even a little rap section for Lin to do, which was charming.

Charming is the best word to describe anything regarding Mary Poppins, and this film is no exception. Strong performances from Blunt, with lively help from Miranda, keeps everything afloat, while the emotional heart of the film comes from Whishaw. Just like in the first film, this Mr. Banks needs saving, and watching that transformation happen is just as joyous as it was in the original.

#118in2018 #mary poppins returns #mary poppins returns review #emily blunt #ben whishaw #lin manuel miranda #meryl streep #emily mortimer #mary poppins #movie review #film reviews

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