#i literally do not give a fuck if people want to use these btw
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Twirls hair giggles kicks feet
#and also i ripped a 7day free trial of picsart LMFAO#im bored wt work can u tell#ryan gosling#rg#ryan gosling icons#i literally do not give a fuck if people want to use these btw#the nice guys#the gray man#drive#the place beyond the pines#personal
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the rise of AI art isn't surprising to us. for our entire lives, the attitude towards our skills has always been - that's not a real thing. it has been consistently, repeatedly devalued.
people treat art - all forms of it - as if it could exist by accident, by rote. they don't understand how much art is in the world. someone designed your home. someone designed the sign inside of your local grocery store. when you quote a character or line from something in media, that's a line a real person wrote.
"i could do that." sure, but you didn't. there's this joke where a plumber comes over to a house and twists a single knob. charges the guy 10k. the guy, furious, asks how the hell the bill is so high. the plumber says - "turning the knob was a dollar. the knowledge is the rest of the money."
the trouble is that nobody believes artists have knowledge. that we actively study. that we work hard, beyond doing our scales and occasionally writing a poem. the trouble is that unless you are already framed in a museum or have a book on a shelf or some kind of product, you aren't really an artist. hell, because of where i post my work, i'll never be considered a poet.
the thing that makes you an artist is choice. the thing that makes all art is choice. AI art is the fetid belief that art is instead an equation. that it must answer a specific question. Even with machine learning, AI cannot make a choice the way we can - because the choices we make have always been personal, complicated. our skills cannot be confined to "prompt and execution." what we are "solving" isn't just a system of numbers - it is how we process our entire existence. it isn't just "2 and 2 is 4", it's staring hard at the numbers and making the four into an alligator. it's rearranging the letters to say ow and it is the ugly drawing we make in the margin.
at some point, you will be able to write something by feeding my work into a machine. it will be perfectly legible and even might sound like me. but a machine doesn't understand why i do these things. it can be taught preferences, habits, statistical probability. it doesn't know why certain vowels sound good to me. it doesn't know the private rules i keep. it doesn't know how to keep evolving.
"but i want something to exist that doesn't exist yet." great. i'm glad you feel creative. go ahead and pay a fucking artist for it.
this is all saying something we all already knew. the sad fucking truth: we have to die to remind you. only when we're gone do we suddenly finally fucking mean something to you. artists are not replicable. we each genuinely have a skill, talent, and process that makes us unique. and there's actual quiet power in everything we do.
#also pay plumbers more. and electricians. and other devalued occupations#idk that this makes sense#but im like#people being so fucking pleased with themselves about the fact they can ''fake'' art#n im like#sure#but what if we stop making things for you huh#what if we stop giving u this stuff anymore#what happens to ur ai art? does it keep growing? does it keep making choices?#why do u need to see us as machines?#''i want X to exist but i don't have the skill to do it''#okay spend literally years of your life studying#''i don't want to do that''#okay pay someone who DID do that#''no i don't think it's a real skill''#okay so. YOU can't do it. and a LOT of people can't do it. but you think WE should be able to?#FOR FREE?#either it has value or it dont baby make up ur OWN mind#btw studying here is not used academically. i think if ur like. constantly knitting.#thats studying#do u spend hours reading and find urself taking notes and learning about writing#ur studying#do you follow other artists and spend a lot of your time trying new things (even unsuccessfully)#that's also studying#etc#was weird to write this thing about choices and then be like. wait why DO i like that
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callout posts will truly be like:
and the post they're talking about will be like
and then they'll be like "what do you mean I'm overstating harm?"
#red said#so um. i do not know the user this post is about btw#but like i don't know bc this is literally the only link in the callout that was not broken.#so like. if the way this. the only link where i could see what she actually said. was framed was imo so wildly hyperbolic#what does that imply about the other strongly worded links? which i can't check?#and why given that all but one link is broken in a callout would you be linking to that callout other than that#you anticipate that people won't look past the long long looooong list of links titled like this?#i mean jesus christ you fucking people#and look it's entirely possible this person has done some fucked up shit idk her. but if you want people to hear you or#is uhhhhhhh is framing something this benign as 'moving a concentration camp survivor for using the wrong language about his experience'#(note that takei isn't. talking about his camp experiences in the tweet which the user compared to the existing tweet abt liberals)#is that. helping your case? or priming anyone who like. LOOKS at what you're linking to give your points less credence#bc it makes it look like you're scrambling for anything you can paint in a negative light rather than responding to actual harm#every callout is like this. get ya fuckin priorities in order babes.
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Well I lost a follower for a reblog that says that we live under a one party system in the us government and voting for the lesser of two evils won’t save us. I used to believe that voting for someone of the lesser of two evils was a good idea and would make a difference. Even if the lesser of two evils is awful and a racist person. However, I see now that isn’t. Things have gotten bad to worse and the current people in power didn’t even do anything about it. They just let it happen and broke every single promise to us. How can things get worse if an awful guy wins over the less awful guy who’s in power now when the current guy isn’t doing anything to help us and is making things worse? And continues the same awful policies that the awful guy did and is going against what most people want? And most importantly Is currently backing one of the biggest war crimes in history right now? Newsflash dummy, we are already in hell and saying that the other guy is going to make things worse when things are already fucking bad is fucking stupid! No one should have to vote for an awful candidate who is not only part of the biggest crime we are seeing right now but isn’t doing anything to help us! We need better options and there are better options. Voting doesn’t always help. If you really think that voting for a “less” terrible candidate over another terrible candidate, you’re a damn fool. We saw what happened in 2016 elections ( they did that lesser of two evils shit and that didn’t work) and the same thing is going to happen next year if we’re going to have vote for the same shitty guy we currently have in office!
#mine#I don’t speak on this kind of stuff on here but this is important#I’m literally seeing a fucking cop place being built when no one wants it and the people in power aren’t doing anything to stop it#they aren’t a bunch of republicans btw and they are trying so hard to for it to be built#when they ran that they would reduce the number of cops#they don’t give a fuck about us#no one does and they only serve one purpose#we live in a one party system with two parties#the current guy in power is still building the wall and he continues the loan payments
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yoo how do i tell my father who is very much as stubborn as one can get that i dont in fact like google and dont want to use anything from it specially google drive because i think its pretty fucking disgusting to have to give this much information about myself solely so then i can store files to a place which ill forget about in less than an hour that will most likely be monitored by google too 💖
#literally love how he just casually says 'oh i added drive to your bookmarks btw' on my fucking laptop wihout any permissions#sure they bought it therefore they can totally use it if they want#but as far as my own privacy goes i cant help but feel disgusted at how ignorant he is to my boundaries#i said i hate windows. i hate google. i hate crypto#and yet he throws it all down my throat like its normal to just ignore a persons opinion if its something you disagree on apparently#and i know it may sound petty but i just try so much to stay out of his way#not talk negatively about the things hes interested in even if its fucking crypto or whatever#but dude it makes my blood absolutely boil to see how he just doesnt give a fuck about my own personal space and belongings#its a fucking browser for fucks sake ! why should he be so annoyed at how *I* use my own things#why should he feel the need to scramble around places where hes not even supposed to be on#im a kid in their eyes but fuck it hurts to see how incompetent he thinks i am#and if he really doesnt then hes doing a pretty fucking shitty job at showing that he trusts me#as far as privacy and comfort goes im willing to listen and genuinely interested in knowing of what he knows#but as soon as he casually starts to disregard the boundaries ive tried so clearly to set then im turning a plain blind eye#we both love computers. we both are amazed by how such systems work and its connections like the internet#but its impossible to have a conversation when he wont even try to understand Why i dont like certain things and why i do things My way#i dont go around messing on his things and yet he feels so entitled to do so in mine that i just feel sick sometimes#i hate to vent here but sometimes there really is no other place where people will actually think im a fucking human being#anyway i just#idk
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Astrology Observations: Scorpio Edition ☠️
🦂In doing these observations, I like breaking down the differences between the Sun, Moon and Rising in a sign. With Scorpio, I look at each as the different elements of a crime scene.
(These are analogies/metaphors, btw. Please don't take this literally)
Scorpio Rising is like the detective. They are investigators, obsessive thinkers, and will dig and dig until they find the info they need. It is very hard to hide around them because they will ask questions, get in your head, and figure out your motives. Most people don't know what they're doing and the extent of their manipulation. But, like the detective, this skill can be used for good.
Scorpio Sun is the murder victim. And, hold on, I am not saying they are weak or powerless. It's more so that the metaphorical "deaths" they have to endure end up shaping who they are. And, like a murder victim, they become very well-known for how they "died", whether it was through heartbreak, betrayal, career/financial loss, mental health struggles/breakdowns, etc. But, the good thing is that they learn that any kind of death is only a transformation.
Scorpio Moon is the killer. As nice and charming as this person may appear (and genuinely be), there is a fierce, sometimes even ruthless instinct within. It's just about learning how to destroy what needs to be killed off, in a positive/constructive sense. But, heaven help those who fuck around and find out. Like a killer, they can be both vaguely intimidating but also the last person you'd expect. Their dark or ferocious side can catch people off guard and that intensity is not only unmatched but can rage out of control if not managed.
(All three placements have a little of each archetype in them but each displays these respective energies the most)
🦂 People with Scorpio placements = love of horror movies. Most of the time, anyway. Especially Scorpio Sun, Moon or Rising. This obsession may begin young and even extend to a fascination with true crime. This is my Moon sign and I loved horror and serial killer documentaries so much growing up that I got side-eyed a few times lol. (But, now, of course, that's become trendy)
🦂 Scorpio Venus people are not necessarily the die-hard, super-serious, "I love you so I must breathe your oxygen" relationship types that they're made out to be. Some of them channel a lot of that intensity into the sexual part of relationships while remaining casual or emotionally unavailable otherwise. So, this placement can be as much of a player or serial dater as anyone. That just may not exactly be how they want to act deep down.
🦂 Those with Mercury in Scorpio usually have some skill with divination, whether or not they are tapped into it. They could make excellent astrologers or Tarot readers. Some of them are naturally good at spell work, as well, or could be skilled mediums or channelers.
🦂 There are two types of Scorpio Risings: 1) the ones who give you witchy or sexy vampire vibes (and who may identify with either archetype) 2) the ones who seem like adorable, harmless elfin/fae beings who are much more powerful than they initially appear.
🦂 Scorpio people look great in all black and this isn't limited to the Venus or Rising sign. It is a power move of sorts and a way to honor one's shadow self (which every self-respecting Scorpio person will thrive on). Also, try black boots, ultra-high heels for those who wear them, and anything sheer like mesh or lace.
🦂 Scorpio Moon people are either very naturally seductive/erotic/alluring (even if they don't try or aren't aware of it) or has the sex appeal of a bowl of mashed potatoes, even though they may try very hard to be sexy. Sexiness can vary with Scorpio people and does tend to exist in extremes. But, since the Moon is what comes instinctively, this is truest for them. They either have it or they don't.
🦂 Scorpio Mars people can be very, VERY petty. This is the lower expression of it. The evolved ones will have a past of vindictive behavior or holding ridiculous grudges but learn to rise above that. And I mean ridiculous grudges. Like, "you ate the last slice of pizza that I wanted two years ago and I haven't forgotten it".
🦂 Scorpio Suns and daddy issues go together like peanut butter and jelly. In most cases, either the father figure walks out on them or dies during their upbringing or they just have a super-complicated relationship.
🦂 It's hard to find a sign that is more proud of their sign than Scorpio. Virgo's may outdo them (because so many Virgos LOVE telling you they're a Virgo lol) but they're up there. This extends to the Moons and Risings, as well. They are quite likely to get a tattoo of the Scorpio symbol or a scorpion or phoenix or eagle.
#astrology#astrology observations#astro observations#scorpio#scorpio energy#scorpio placements#scorpio sun#scorpio moon#scorpio rising#scorpio mercury#scorpio venus#scorpio mars#scorpio stellium
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I was just thinking like..alastor in his nun outfit…Charlie takes us to confession for like an admitting our sins exercise (but it’s actually just in the hotel) to confess our sins, we admit to fantasising about Alastor and we reveal our dirty fantasies and he hears it..maybe decides to act on it to cleanse us of our sins….IDKKK
FORGIVE ME DADDY FOR I HAVE SINNED
(Love your writing btw) 
I LOVE YOU!!!! Thank you for reading my horny writings babe!!!
Title: Sweet Confession
”uuuuhhhh Charlie why do we have to confess our sins? Ain’t that a little personal?” Angel asked as she finished explaining her new ‘bonding’ exercise.
The princess beamed “That’s the whole point! To acknowledge your wrong doings and knowing that you can be vulnerable with the sins you’ve committed”
The group groaned but went on with it.
She had a curtain set up to give privacy and a chair to sit and you just spilled out your darkest secrets to a box?
it wasn’t her worst idea. Being vulnerable was good…so what was the harm?
You fiddled with your fingers as you took a seat.
This reminded you of when your mother would force to to church and seek advice from a priest about your woes. You never really understood the point.
You hadn’t committed the most elaborate sin, but you weren’t a pure sinner either.
“Remember take all the time you need! Crying is good!” You heard Charlie say as she closed the curtain, leaving you to yourself.
”what are you here to confess?” A automatic voice said from the box.
What could you confess? Your sin was boring…
”I-I have been pledged with rather lewd thoughts” you said shyly.
”I know it sounds crazy but I…I think about Alastor in these thoughts”
’Why?’ The voice responded.
You bit your lip “I don’t know. He’s witty, confident, rough around the edges. He’s always around and so helpful. I kind of feel bad now” your shoulders wilted.
”He’s just my kind of guy I guess. Tall, Dark, oh so handsome my gooooodddd” you gushed.
”and how do you think of him in these thoughts of yours?”
You gulped “He’s just so polite and a gentleman that it just does something to me. Under all that, he’s a demon. Its hot and mysterious and I just want him to fuck my brains out…not literally…well the fuck part literally but not til I’m dead”
”I want him. Like carnally. I knooooow I can be a good girl for him. I would let that man do anything to me. I want to give my utter and complete devotion to him as he ruins me. I want him to like its a need to breathe. He lives in my head rent free!” You whined.
”I don’t go a single night without touching myself to his voice. Its like velvet. I imagine how he would growl in my ear as he watch me tease myself. Pouring out praise and degrading words as I whine for his dick…oooohhh his dick I know its big I just know it. I need him inside me. To fill me with his cum. To carve my pussy to his shape and make me lose my mind. I think about being his willingly. I don’t need a deal to give him my soul” you trailed off. You hadn’t realized you were ranting. The very confession had your face flushed, thighs clenching at the thought of your fantasy coming true.
You laughed, shaking our head “I guess that’s a sin? Having lustful thoughts about some one? I didn’t really think anything of it but it felt good to admit that to something. people would think I’m crazy…fantasizing about the Radio Demon knocking the coins out of me hahaha”
You took a deep breathe and emerged from the curtain, feeling a bit better for confessing your darkest desires.
Alastor had a wide Cheshire smile on his face. Listening to the hotel’s residents secrets and woes gave him a sense of entertainment.
Your confession about the red demon was very interesting.
Alastor’s mind had formed a very detailed picture of your confession.
You, doe-eyed and wanton as you whined for his cock. He would make you beg him to fuck you. To ruin you.
You shaking from overstimulation and covered in his cum flashed in his mind.
He chuckled darkly at the thought, Oh what a pretty pet you will make.
And who would he be if he didn’t make you sweet little fantasy a reality?
#hazbin hotel#hazbin alastor#alastor#alastor the radio demon#alastor x reader#hazbin hotel fanfiction#jyoongim#alastor x y/n#alastor smut#alastor hazbin hotel
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Some of my opinions, in no particular order
golf courses should be abolished. mini golf can stay. actual golf? no. golf courses take up so much water to maintain their grass, grass which, btw, is a monoculture and bad for wildlife. the area that golf courses take up could be used for affordable housing, or natural areas left to grow with wild native plants that are better for the insect populations. but nooo, we gotta use all this land so that stuck up rich people can play the most boring game ever invented. bullshit.
the police should be abolished. i would settle for defunding but really they just need to go.
children are people, treat them as such. kids have thoughts and feelings that are just as real and valid as yours.
on a similar vein, you are allowed to not want children, but that doesn't give you a free pass to hate kids or be mean to kids. they didnt ask to be here, be kind.
there should be a maximum wage. after a certain point, there is no amount of labour you could possibly do to Earn that much money. your workers earned that money, and you are stealing it from them.
there is a difference between millionaires and billionaires. when i say eat the rich im not talking about actors and musicians, im talking about people who are directly responsible for poverty, hunger, suffering, and homelessness around the world. people who hoard obscene amounts of wealth that No One could ever hope to spend in an entire lifetime and simply watch while minimum wage workers struggle to put food on the table and the elderly freeze in their homes.
sex ed should start in primary school, at an age-appropriate level. if kids are old enough to ask questions about sex, they are old enough to learn about it in a safe environment. they should be taught correct anatomical names for body parts (penis, vulva, vagina, etc.).
there should be more research into autism and ADHD in adults, this shit doesn't just go away when you grow up.
diagnostic criteria for disabilities, disorders, and mental health conditions should be written by people who have or have had these conditions. how is someone supposed to know if they have autism, for example, if the symptoms are written from the perspective of someone who has never experienced it?? doesn't make any fucking sense.
hostile architecture should be illegal. unhoused people deserve a place to sleep. or better yet, give them houses. there are literal studies done that prove that housing people saves the government money in the long run, so why aren't we doing that? make it make sense
edit: updated to add more clarity to the golf thing. didn't explain that one well enough and left some people confused
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! Matt was SO RIGHT in this scene btw !
I remember when a 'certain group of people' got mad at Matt for this scene....when he literally has every right to be pissed off?? That certain group of people feels like Matt needs to baby Karen's feelings or else he's 'mistreating her' lmao they are so CRINGE. Matt literally had every right to be pissed off for Karen's ill-advised decision (which Foggy also thinks was ill-advised).
For someone who gets mad at Matt for being reckless, Karen sure does make sure to do the most reckless thing possible at every turn 😁 I guess to that certain group of people only Karen is allowed to be reckless. And that everyone around her should treat her like a baby when it comes to her feelings and Matt and Foggy has no right to call her out, but she can call everyone out at any time lmao!
Matt Murdock you were so right to be angry in this scene, you're a real one and not a spineless fuck like someone and tells things like they are. They could never make me hate you 😙
I wish someone could tell that certain group of people that Karen is a grown woman. They think she should be babied at every turn and that's why "[redacted] is the right man for her" Like eww what an ick. Treat the grown woman like a grown woman maybe? They just want her to be given positive affirmations at every turn and get praised for her bravery even when it literally gets people killed 💀
Btw that certain group of people use this scene as an evidence that "Matt is an asshole and mistreats her" 🤣 telling the truth and calling dumb shit out is being an asshole now I guess. This is the same Karen whose 80% of screentime is calling people, particularly Matt out btw.
Like they cannot give a legitimate reason as to why Matt isn't allowed to be mad in this scene other than "because it hurts Karen's precious feelings" lmao. Well sorry not sorry if you're hurt over him keeping it real. And let's not forget he did SAVE Karen's life (for the 3rd time this time) but I guess he is not permitted to be pissed off or feel some anger and emotions according to #THEM
#oh matt murdock the truth spiller that you are#'they' call you an asshole i call you a real one with a spine to tell a grown woman what she did was dumb#a REAL MAN and not someone who just brainlessly gives positive affirmations to someone who DOESNT deserve it#daredevil#matt murdock#karen page
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skz and dirty talk - like their fav phrases or something??
(i absolutely adore your writing btw, keep up the good work!! 🫶)
thank you sm lovie!! so glad you like my writing!! ♡ hope u like this, i literally had about twenty mental break downs imagining how hot this would be 😵💫
bangchan: there's days where he spits straight filth at you or days when he just wants to call you his little princess. he's the kind of guy that cannot stop rambling on and on during sex about whatever is on his mind. he's very vocal and open about his pleasure.
"f-fuck princess.. you love daddy's cock hm? s'good i-i dont wanna pull out.." he whines into your neck. he gets so weak and turns into putty when he's inside you.
lee know: he likes watching your ears turn red and have you squirm under his gaze. he'll be out with you at dinner with friends and would lean over to whisper the most absurd thing you could ever imagine in a public setting.
"this place is so boring.. just wanna bend you over on this table and fuck you raw right now.."
he would make you so flustered because what if someone heard? how shameless of him to want these people to watch you get fucked over their dinner.
changbin: he likes to come up to you from behind while you're doing mundane house chores like laundry or dishes. he knows it'll make you drop whatever you're doing, running his hands up your sides and even giving your ass a little squeeze.
"such a shame you aren't in bed with me right now baby.. i could have my mouth all over you.."
fuck the dishes, your binnie is needy and wants you in the sheets! you can deal with cleaning later, that's least important at the moment. when he gets you in bed, he loves to boast about how his cock is going to split you and how you shouldn't neglect him again because he always fucks you so good.
hyunjin: "gonna fuck you silly.. like my little slut.. full of my cum."
when he's feeling you wrap your pussy around his cock, he can't stop the vile shit leaving his pretty mouth. he just loves leaving you full of him, making you hold every last drop and making sure you don't waste any of his precious cum. he'll degrade you, sure - but he wants you to know he doesn't really mean it afterwards while he's giving you aftercare. he loves his little baby so much and just wanted to make her orgasm hard. you think his versatility is sexy and definitely do cream around him, shaking at the sensation.
jisung: "let me taste you, baby girl please.."
jisung does not care the time or place, if he wants to bury his face in your cunt, he will succeed in doing so. you could be out with friends, in a fitting room, at home - not a single fuck is given. standing, sitting, bent over, he is not picky, he just wants to play with your cute clit and lap at you hungrily. do him a favor and spread your legs for him, please ♡? he gets impatient easy and feels no embarrassment when he pulls you aside to the nearest restroom.
felix: you'd be the one to initiate the dirty talk, whispering in his ears how you're not wearing any panties under your dress. his cute eyes would get blown out as his breath hitches, he couldn't believe you were being soo naughty ♡
"i don't think i'd be able to hold myself back if you keep this up baby.." he warns you, but you don't want him to hold back. quite the opposite actually. you want him to whisk you away, forget about this holiday party, get in the car and drive home as fast as possible. although poor lixie couldn't wait to get home so he just took you in the back of his car, delighted to see your cunt ready to play under your silky dress.
seungmin: "i can't wait to fucking use you."
seungmin is very dominant, he was tired of you being such a brat lately and was going to teach you a lesson. why couldn't you just be a good girl and wait for him to get home? you kept sending him tempting messages while he was away and he had enough. the video of you touching yourself while calling out to him made him stiffen uncomfortably in his pants. it was his absolute breaking point, you better prepare your pussy because he will not be going easy on you.
jeongin: "wanna fuck you while you wear this, baby"
he had come home with a bag in hand, pulling out the cutest lingerie set you'd ever seen. it was light pinky and frilly, crotchless for easier access and the thong was so teeny that it made you chuckle. the bra was completely see through and when you put it on, he salivated at the sight of your hard buds poking through the mesh. he fucked you face down into the bed while holding your arms behind your back. unfortunately, he was so hasty that he ended up ruining the set, ripping the delicate fabric. he didn't care though, he had bought an extra set because he knew this would happen.
please refrain from reposting, modifying, translating, copying or stealing my work. - © binsito
#binsito#skz smut#stray kids smut#skz hard thoughts#skz x reader smut#stray kids x reader smut#bangchan smut#lee know smut#changbin smut#hyunjin smut#han jisung smut#lee felix smut#seungmin smut#jeongin smut#skz smut imagine#stray kids smut imagine
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what is considered "beautiful" by society is inevitably sexist, racist, ableist, classist, transphobic, and bigoted. it targets and attacks any perceived difference, and it particularly villainizes women of color while co-opting aesthetics; as if features and cultural norms can be worn as accessories.
and the scary thing! you can see all of these things, know them to be true logically, and also know that you are treated better if you are perceived as beautiful. if you have ever been treated as "ugly", you know exactly how much society reviles you if you don't manage to scamper along and perform to their rules.
and how are you supposed to balance that? do you want a nose job to fix your broken nose, or have you just recently been seeing videos about how many people look better after nose jobs. do you want to lose weight to feel good, or is it that when you lose weight people treat you better. do you want to wear this outfit, or is it just the thing that's least likely to get you harassed. do you want to get lip injections for your reasons or is your whole reason that you don't feel beautiful unless you get those lip injections?
and the definitions shift. the goals get more specific. in the way that you only become aware of your tongue when someone mentions it; parts of your body are introduced as problems. i had never heard the term "hip dip" until about a year ago - and it was in the context of how to get rid of this. i'm 30, i know this shit is invented, and yet! i still find that strange voice saying but do you think someone is going to notice?
how the fuck am i supposed to say "this is my genuine choice i am making for my body" when i also know that years of my life have been spent socializing me to accept this as my inevitable fate? how do i know i'm actually doing this out of love for my body - or am i doing it for how i want others to see me, which will be lovely enough to feel loved? how am i supposed to recover when my unhealthy habits are seen as self-discipline but if i relax i'm openly mocked for "letting time win"? how the fuck am i supposed to say "i'm doing it for me" when i'm also very aware that i'm doing it to stop myself from being teased or demeaned? is it my choice if the other option is being bullied?
we are living in a hostage negotiation - either consent to the demands or spend the rest of your life being treated like you're a despicable person.
#i also have things to say about how gender plays into this#but it became like 1450 pages#so i saved the rest in a draft#btw? hip dips used to be like valued in the 90s & 2000s during the ultra thin craze#which is so fucking wild to me bc i am old enough to REMEMBER that people WANTED them#bc they're literally the shape of your bones. they're your hipbones showing. & you literally CANNOT 'target' that area#that would be like targeting your elbow. it's a fucking JOINT.#it is a place where you either do or do not carry mass. the lower ur bodyfat percent and the higher ur thigh & glute strength#the less that you will carry weight there#which is even MORE fucking cruel bc !!! the type of people who are already trying to improve themselves helplessly#are going to be aware of their body! and ur literally GIVING them an insecurity they LITERALLY do not decide!!!!#“it rounds out ur figure” here's something my guy! maybe people shouldn't have to look uniform and sleek !!!#maybe you just want to fuck a manatee !!!#if we're really at the point that you have to apologize for LITERALLY HAVING BONES.....#like sorry my legs had to connect somewhere in my form :( i will hide that from u. my apologies ur honor#(fashion bloggers gagging bc there's evidence other people have skeletons)
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I am actually addicted to your drabbles btw you’ve literally turned me into a captain price SLUT.
Anyways, imagine you get back to base from a solo mission and you’re complaining about how sore you are so price offers to give you a massage 😞😞😞 then he starts getting handsy and can’t stop massaging and groping readers boobs and ass and thighs 🥲🥲
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Nevermind
Captain John Price x fem!reader
["Nevermind" Album by Nirvana]
[18+]
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• summary - what the request says but price eats you out too lol.
• rating - 18+
• wordcount - 1.4k
• warnings - fem!reader, massaging but make it sensual, oral [f!receiving], price has a sir kink obvs, strong language
i used a gif from six just cause bear is fine asf and i literally want him so bad
and tysm anon i'm glad i'm converting people into price sluts it's such an achievement 🙏
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"I am so fucking sore," you groaned, shuffling into Price's office. "I feel like I just got hit by a fucking train."
Price looks up at you from a stack of paperwork, cigar between his pointer and middle finger as he thumbed through the pages.
"Is that right?" He hummed.
"Yeah," you all but whimpered, rounding his desk until you were standing directly behind him. You draped your body over his, your front pressed to his back, your head resting against his shoulder. "M'sore, Price."
Price placed his cigar in his crystal ashtray and pat your head gently. "Was it a successful mission?"
"Of course it was," you groaned, running your hands down his chest, hugging him. "But I feel like you're dismissing the fact I'm in pain."
Price chuckled. "I'm not dismissing you, love."
"But I need your help." You whined, fingers moving back up to grope along the covered outline of his pecs.
"What do you need from me?" He asked.
"Your hands."
•º•
"That feel better, love?" Price asked.
You grumbled blissfully, face smushed into his bedsheets as he ran his large hands up and down your body, kneading the knots from beneath your skin. You groaned as he worked the stiffness from your shoulders, smoothing the tension from your back and tailbone.
"M'yeah." You mumbled, eyes closed, obsessed with the way Price ran his hands down your bare skin.
Rough and calloused from years in the military, yet his touch was soft. Still, he held a strength and firmness that made you resist the urge to moan as he massaged a particularly taut spot near the base of your spine.
He'd being doing this for just under ten minutes, and you were feeling better already. Body loosening, muscles relaxing. Even Price seemed to be enjoying it; humming contentedly to himself as he watched the way his hands manipulated parts of your body.
Also, the soft sounds you were making. So fucking good. The small whimpers and whines, the breathless mutters of his name, the slightly louder groans you released when he hit a particularly tense knot with his knuckle.
He was struggling to keep focus.
"Jus' need you lower, Price," you breathed, turning your head to look at him over your shoulder. "Please."
Price was hesitant. Did you mean your thighs or your c—?
"My arse is sore... and my legs, of course." You added the last bit with a chuckle, and Price couldn't help but smile.
He obliged, of course, and shifted his hands downwards. The glide of his hands on your body was aided by some kind of sweet-smelling oil you unearthed from the depths of your wardrobe. It smelt good, smelt like you, and let Price's hands move effortlessly along your smooth skin.
His hands found your arse, and his eyes flicked up immediately to gage your reaction. He massaged— no he didn't, who was he kidding? He groped— the plush flesh, much to his delight, and yours too apparently, as you let out a soft whine.
"Good?" Price asked, voice a deep grumble.
"Mhm."
He worked the soft skin there for a while, eyes drawn to the way the fat moved beneath the push of his hands, and the sounds that dribbled from your pretty mouth. He was surprised that he didn't have a raging hard on by now.
"S'good, sir." You breathed.
Okay, never mind. He was hard as fuck now.
Sir. You little—
"Yeah? You feel good, love?" He breathed, dragging his hands over the curve of your arse and along your thighs.
He groped and kneaded the soft flesh, drawing as many sounds from you as he could. He pushed and pulled, working the knots from your muscles, making your skin shiny with the sweet-smelling oil. His eyes moved between your legs— pretty and bare, shiny and moving so freely beneath his strong grasp— and your face— pretty, blissed out, lips agape as you whined at him.
"You feel good, love?" Price echoed, working his fingers around the backs of your knees.
"Yeah—" You cut yourself off with a moan as Price pushed particular hard at the top of your thigh, just beneath the curve of your arse.
He smiled to himself. "Yeah?"
"Y-yeah, fucking hell."
"That's usually my line, love." He moved his hands back to your hips and helped you flip onto your back.
You called for him as his hands descended onto your shoulders, massaging your arms and the base of your neck.
"Lower." You muttered.
"Lower?" Price grinned. "How much lower—?"
You grumbled, a wave of arousal settling deep in your core. "My fucking tits, Price, just... Jesus."
His grin widened. "You sure? I don't—"
"Now is not the time to be a gentleman," you hissed, grabbing his wrists and placing his hands on your breasts. "Just... fuck, do what you were doing before."
"Okay, okay," Price mused. "So impatient."
You didn't reply, a whine caught in your throat as Price grabbed at your tits, massaging gently. His hands were warm and very much welcomed, and you couldn't stop yourself from arching slightly into his grasp. He hummed a laugh, tweaking your nipples, making you bite your lip.
"Sir, please—"
"Such a pretty girl," he mumbled, interrupting you. "So pretty. Beautiful, love. Absolutely stunning. Jus' look at you."
He continued to touch you, groping and massaging your tits and the soft skin around, including down the sides of your ribs and waist, making you squirm, ticklish.
After a good few minutes of his hands on you, you were going fucking feral.
"Need more." You said to him.
"More?" Price quirked a brow. "Tell me."
You just whined, and bucked your hips. He got the point. With a chuckle and a short shake of his head, he moved down his bed until he was kneeling between your spread thighs. He massaged your thighs, too, as he spread them further, eyes catching sight of your bare cunt, slick and drooling for him. For him.
"Fuck," he muttered under his breath, which you didn't hear. Louder, he said, "Felt that good, my pretty girl?"
You nodded, embarrassment squeezing your gut. You cursed, hiding your face in your hands.
"Don't hide from me," Price said sternly, but his words were still soft. "S'all right. I'll take care of you. I'll take care of my pretty girl."
As you moved your hands away, he placed his mouth on your core. You moaned, loud, as his tongue moved in a swiping motion from your dripping hole to your clit. He laved over the sensitive bud, sucking it into his mouth as your thighs enclosed around his head.
"Oh my— fucking— Price—"
He hummed, the vibrations making you choke on a sob. His tongue was hot against you as he placed a few more licks to your clit, before dragging it down your slit, running between your folds before delving deep into your hole. You mewled as he filled you, warm and firm, sucking up your arousal with lewd sounds that made your ears ring. You reached down, fisting his hair, dragging his face closer to your cunt. His nose pressed to your swollen clit, and you keened, back arching off his bedsheets.
Your stomach pulsed, low and heavy with release, and it made your mouth drop open. He had barely had his tongue on you for thirty seconds, and you were already about to—
You were mortified. Price stuffed your sopping cunt with his tongue, mumbling something into you that had the vibrations coaxing your orgasm closer and closer until, with a final firm press of his nose to your clit, you came.
Was it way less than a minute? Quite fucking possibly.
You don't think you've cum that quickly in your life.
Your cunt spasmed and gushed around his tongue, and Price lapped it up happily as you moaned his name and sobbed "sir!" into the warm air of his bedroom. He groaned happily as your thighs tightened, clamping him closer to you. He closed his eyes, enjoying the way he was pushed further into your slick core.
Once your orgasm resided, ebbing like the waves on the shore, he pulled back, face wet.
You cracked your eyes open. He was back to groping your thighs, your arousal literally dripping in pearls down his chin. Your heart fluttered. He had a mischievous glint in his eye.
You groaned. "Don't—"
"That's gotta be some kinda record, eh, love?"
"Fucking hell, Price."
He placed a wet kiss to your inner thigh.
"You're welcome." He joked, a fucked out smile on his face.
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not proof read cause i'm lazy x
#captainfern#captainfernsalutes#call of duty#call of duty mw2#captain john price#fem reader#captain price#captain price smut#price x reader#captain john price x female reader#call of duty mwii#john price#price smut#price call of duty#captain’snirvana
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third man is a super fascinating phenomenon btw. people seriously hallucinate someone to give them extremely detailed and specific instructions to get out of their situation, it's a really common thing reported by survivors of natural disasters and similar incidents where they were literally on the verge of death. It's like the brain knows how to access the information but you're too fucked up to actually 'think about it' so it invents a mouthpiece to be 'helping you' instead of you just knowing how to do it yourself. I guess it's more comforting/an easier situation to go along with if you feel like it's a third party directing you. I want to study this so bad lol
yeah that makes a lot of sense, it's more comforting to place your faith in an apparent guide who knows how to help you than to rely on your own judgement in high-pressure situations, so it certainly doesn't seem unreasonable that the brain might invent one as a coping mechanism. that probably also explains why people sometimes liken it to (or even use it as evidence of) having a guardian angel.
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MWIII Campaign Thoughts and Reviews
(Played in the recruit difficulty because I suck at FPS games, and I want to explore and spent time in the campaign without dying too much). Leave some thoughts!
⚠️SPOILER ALERT⚠️
So… that was devastating.
(+) To start things off, Makarov - Boy, holy shit. Yes. YESSS. They didn’t hold back with the new Makarov. He’s a mastermind, he’s a charming fella, he’s a psychopath lol. And the fact that he smiles a lot in this campaign just adds to the creepiness. I might get some side-eye here, but this Mak can go head-to-head with the OG!Mak. He’s always onto something, he’s proven destructive, had the 141 hauling ASS to chase him.
Makarov had stolen American missiles from ULF, caused false flag missile attacks on Russian Military base, and successfully orchestrated a false airplane hijacking, all under ULF's name - everything in the span of 48 hours since he got out of prison. I saw people saying that this Makarov ain't got nothing on the OG one has to be inhaling some shit copium because this is only in one single game and he's destroying shit.
I know just one game with rushed development won’t be enough for an iconic character like him, so I’m glad they didn’t kill him.
(-) I absolutely ABHOR, DETEST, LOATH the Open Combat Missions (OCM). It is so very not Call of Duty campaignesque. it doesn’t help anything with the narrative, and if anything, it even took away the narrative for us. The former missions in former games are iconic in their own way because the mission designer put a lot of thought into how the game will be played, the situations we found ourselves in.
But OCM's, we're like... Left to our own devices without any story-driven dialogues.
I think one of the reasons why MWII was so close to everyone's heart was because of the banters between the characters, especially in Alone. Here, because it's literally our choice and our time, it left us with no actual given time to know and love the characters more than we already did. Yes we love the characters, MW19 and MWII did that for us. But in this one? They said "character development is done, mate. Now go to war.”
Then again, is OCM a product and evidence of MWIII’s rushed development? 100% yes. I don’t give a shit if they cover it with “oowh we make OCM so you can play the missions differently each time without repeating the same mission over and over again!”. Let me ask you this, Activision - Have ‘repeating the mission over and over again’ been a problem with us campaign-enjoyers? No! I played the MWII campaign like 5 times, in all difficulty (except realism I still love my life), and I enjoyed it, because the mission designers took a lot of time and thought to it instead of just creating a map, putting a bunch of loadouts scattered around the area and throw us in it. So yes, it’s clear that OCM is a product of rushed development. It sucks the life out of the campaign missions.
Some people may enjoy it, but I play the campaign exactly for the linear style missions, not DMZ style.
(+) Look, I said it before that I will go to the campaign with the lowest expectation possible. I expected Mak to be sub-par, I expected them to play safe with the characters, and BOY WAS I WRONG. Setting aside the point above where the character feels stuck on the character development (which is a huge minus btw), all the characters have time to shine in their own missions, especially Price because I feel like we play him the most. However, I do also love the fact that the girls get shit done here. Farah and Laswell did their work so beautifully and apparently it was revealed that Laswell will be a MP operator, so that’s cool.
(+) Ghost being a menacing presence, can stood his ground. Price being level-headed though at the same time unhinged as usual. Gaz being the voice of reason throughout the entire fucking game LMAO. Soap being the brave man he is, the passion and fury is evident throughout the campaign. Farah being badass and dependable as usual. Alex being the main supportive guy to Farah (Faralex is canon at this point argue with a wall). Nikolai being our most reliable get-away guy.
And of course, Graves and Shepherd being the fucking goofy ahh duo I actually find interesting. The trial cutscene was such a goofy scene LMAO the fact that they backstabbed each other in the ass is real funny. I side with Graves though. However wrong and unhinged he may be, Graves is just a guy doing his job and did what he’s told to do.
(+) I love the fact that Mak tried to frame Urzikstan to pin the blame on them. It's exactly what the OG!Makarov did but in HD. The Passenger mission is phenomenal and more damn traumatizing if only it was a bit longer and more stretched. There are many more reference to the OG games and I absolutely love it.
Now…
Soap’s Death
Remembering all the MWII missions with Soap... It hits differently now, man.
(-) I've read a lot of people's arguments about it that the fact that it happened is just for shock value and kind of disappointing. Because let’s be real here, Soap is an SAS who got the name Soap because of how much of a slippery bastard he is. Granted, Mak is an ex-Spetsnaz and can fight with Soap. But how he went down in a goddamn takedown without any chance of fighting is just… it’s not it.
To add to that, the reaction from the boys is just... Underwhelming? Like I get it they're battle-hardened SAS soldiers, but let them show some damn emotions for fuck’s sake. One of the main reason why the OG!Soap’s death is really painful is because of Price’s reaction to it. How he said “NO. NO NO NO SOAP!!” While he shook Soap’s lifeless body in the table. At least let Price kneel to him, straighten his body, touch his vest. Close his eyes, gather Soap’s hand and PUT HIS GUN ON his chest all the while Ghost and Gaz knelt beside them. I do love the fact that they literally went to Scotland to let go of his ashes with Ghost holding the urn though. I cried in this scene.
And the fact that it happened with the shortest campaign out of all the reboot MW games, it just felt rushed. Yes. It’s completely rushed, there’s no doubt about it. Again, the result of rushed developments.
(+) Now, with that said, I kind of want to shed light on how Soap is literally the youngest guy in the group. He had so much to live for. He's a sunshine in the middle of this gruff emotionally hardened man. He's such a joy to be around. He's brave. He's fresh. The fact that he's got so much to live for adds to the sadness and bitterness, which I actually like.
Sometimes I do kind of like those kinds of deaths, where the character is too soon to die, because it hit so much harder and in a different way than the OG! one. We got to see the OG!Soap went from when he was an FNG, turn to a captain, to a man of fortitude that earned Price's honor and sacrificed himself to protect Price. We saw how he developed and changed. We saw his entire career with us throughout all the OG!MW trilogy.
Reboot!Soap's story barely even started, and the fact that he's still so young, imagining how he'd be one hell of an officer, how he'd lead his team in the future.
OG!Soap’s death is sad because all the times and memories we’ve been through with him, but Reboot!Soap’s death is equally sad for the times we could’ve gone through with him.
I want to say this though, some people said that Soap's death is sudden, but I wouldn't agree with that. I think the telltales are all there.
In the helicopter scene after Price and Soap caught him in Verdansk, Mak literally SAID HIS FULL NAME. That is a literal pinpoint death sentence from Makarov. And how emotional Soap’s reaction is compared to the other boys when the airport blew up. The signs are literally all there! I saw it coming actually.
So is Soap’s death rushed? Yes. Could it have been executed better? Yes. Is it for shock value? Yes. But is it as sad? Yes. Honestly, I blame the rushed development and due dates for this. Activision is a cash grabber who wanted a yearly release so they can catch more money. I fucking bet my ass that initially they didn’t want to kill Soap, but it’s like a last-minute decision to make this game actually look like it’s worth 70 dollars.
Like by the end of the game, nothing has been accomplished. Big Bad Guy is on the loose, and we lost Soap. Yea we did stop some of Makarov's attacks, but we ended with a loss. It's a completely sad ending. I just wish we get to continue with more missions after Soap's death like in OG!MW3 though :(
WHAT'S NEXT?
Now. Shepherd is positively fucken dead. Price is now an actual criminal and a fugitive. He just killed a 4-star US Marines general in his own office. Price is entering his insane and unhinged era. I do wonder if he'll go even more unhinged than this.
The story will undoubtedly continue in the MP seasons (although probably only 2 seasons that mattered because it'll also undoubtedly be filled with skins and collabs and shit). I think it will also focus more on transitioning to the next CoD games, which will be Black Ops (It is confirmed that for the 2024 and 2025 CoD, it will be Black Ops games).
We're talking future here, so if there's going to be a CoD MWIV, It might be possible that this is the game where we'll finally defeat Makarov while the 141 copes with losing Soap. I do wonder if Price will become too unhinged and will get rid of everything on his way to kill Mak. Price's reckless acts will become too much for Gaz that it's starting to hurt other people and himself, and Gaz will do something against Price's command or wish - and Ghost will have to choose a side. Now that's the kind of drama I want to see.
What do I score this campaign, what do I score this campaign... The story is actually good, but because the development is evidently rushed, the packaging feels a bit hollow. It's a 7/10 for me!
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Wait you know what
We get to pet a dog named Riley. 10/10, Game of The Fucking Year.
Reboot!Logan/Hesh (?) 👀
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So there it goes! If you've read this far I love you and Activision will pay for my therapy (ʘ ͜ʖ ʘ)
#call of duty modern warfare iii spoilers#call of duty modern warfare 3 spoilers#mwiii spoilers#mw3 spoilers#call of duty#call of duty modern warfare#cod mw#cod#call of duty modern warfare III#call of duty modern warfare 3#call of duty modern warfare 2023#task forc 141#tf141
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every time someone says "an should have been vbs's leader" or "saki should have been leo/need's leader" i want to . slam my head through concrete. oh you missed the point so bad
1. the "leader" thing is kind of really fucking insignificant outside of where each group's story begins and promo materials. it doesn't mean one character is the "main character" of the group. project sekai doesn't HAVE a main character in the first place it's not that kind of story. each individual character is equally important to not only their group's story but the over-arching story of the whole game
2. leo/need's story begins with ichika because she is ultimately the one that brings them all back together. not saki. it is ichika's determination and frankly stubbornness that gets through to shiho and honami. like, saki was literally ready to give up on reconnecting with honami! (out of love and respect for her choices but like) if she was the focus leo/need would have been honami-less!! but ichika refuses to let it go. much like she refused to let go of their friendships throughout all of middle school.
when the story begins, we see ichika burnt out and hopeless. but that's only after years of trying and trying and trying and trying again to reconnect with shiho and later honami. this fandom does not understand ichika's character well . she's not meek and she doesn't back down easily she's not some like... fumbling "girlflop" she's incredibly driven and strong-willed. she lost some of that due to depression and isolation but as of leo/need's most recent arc ender she has pretty much regained her fiery spirit. she's leo/need's lead singer and MC for a reason
3. vivid bad squad's story opens with kohane because she's the only one who hasn't grown up/partially grown up on vivid street. if an or akito had been the "leader" we would have lost the magic of getting to know vivid street and its people and unique culture. it's all average every day life for them, but kohane is experiencing it all for the first time. it's only through her eyes that the audience can understand just how very special vivid street is
4. one more thing: you could say that the "leaders" represent the themes of each group and the general direction of their story arcs. vivid bad squad, among several other things, is all about improvement and growth and overcoming challenges and creating something new and finding a place to call home within a community. who better to represent that but the socially anxious newbie who never felt like she belongs anywhere and would never do anything with her life?
leo/need is about love and the ability to endure all hardships and preserve that love . it's about having a heart big enough to hope for the impossible and the willpower to make it reality. ichika, in all her hard-headed stubborn painfully persistent glory, is perfect for that.
similarly, mafuyu isn't nightcord's leader because nightcord is ultimately about healing. hope. finding a way to make life worth living again. these aren't paths he would have chosen on his own. he gave up on himself a long time ago. as did ena and mizuki, in their own ways. the best person to represent hope is the one who refuses to give up on anyone and stubbornly believes she can save them all
wonderlands x showtime is about moving forward to a brighter future and not letting the past keep you shackled in place. it's also about having lofty dreams and the selfishness to pursue those dreams. both of these things are why emu Isn't wxs's leader; she lacks that selfishness (i'm not using this word in a negative sense btw; i think being selfish can be a good thing. and sometimes being selfless is a bad one) tsukasa (and rui) has, and she often clings to the past.
and as far as more more jump and all their own themes of hope and never giving up go, of course their leader has to be minori. she brought three disillusioned, jaded ex-idols hope and reignited their passion! she's the walking embodiment of hope itself
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Dad! Jouno headcanons...
He just looks like a stressed as hell father here. Someone help him.
Before ->
To be totally honest, I don't think Jouno would ever plan to be a father. He would never plan to be one simply because he is completely aware of how horrible of a person he is
Why would he bring someone into the world who could be exactly like him? Or worse, he would end up being a horrible parent?
He would just avoid any topic about it.
So parenthood is 100% an accident. Also, this guy would probably try to convince his gf to get an abortion at some point, cause he probably thinks he would make a child that's just that horrible
I feel like the best chance of him becoming a parent would be him not knowing about it when he got arrested and was forced into being a hunting dog. Can't tell your gf to abort when you're in jail ig. Also now he is legally obligated to pay child support. GOTTEM!
Personal theory tho.
He probably wouldn't be jumping for joy at the thought of parenthood tbh. If anything, he is freaking out. I feel like he's in between denial and freaking out. Probably gave some weird rant about the government.
During pregnancy ->
If he's miraculously there (I think the last part is more plausible. This would be his #felonera) then he would be stressed as hell
Dude knows that it's inevitable (unless he throws her down the stairs. or smothers the baby. He probably thinks some weird shit it's Jouno sorry) so now he has to prepare for a very near future of being a father
He can't have sex for what might be the next few years. He has to learn how to take care of a baby. He's made Tecchou-like food combo's now. His life is hell.
Jouno I think would only be dramatic for a month and then get over it quickly -> he has two people relying on him now. Even past his kid being born, he will inevitably have to take care of his baby mom for a while after and will have to provide. Like a dad.
He probably loves the attention and the title it gives him. Probably starts owning it and is thinking 'yeah, actually, I'm going to be an awesome dad' because he gets brownie points for doing the bare minimum as a man
Dude would be kinda ridiculous and do lots of shit just so he can get praise. He's going to be a great dad, so yea, ofc he's going to buy weird useless shit no one would actually use. It's what good dad's do (he's not even pregnant and is suffering from baby brain I think)
Is probably terrified of touching his gf because he is more than aware that his child is in there and it unnerves him. Probably is super freakish about the most random shit, like drinking coffee or going up and down stairs since he can hear whats going on.
His normal level of anxiety goes through the roof during this time. I feel like they won't ever go back down again.
During the birth he would probably be supportive although I think the sounds and smells would be so horrific for him that he would vomit and be kicked out by nursing staff
I feel like the birth was so bad for him to hear (sensitive hearing would be terrible. and smell) that he would be crying as if he pushed a baby out of his hole
Raising that Child (early years) ->
The early years are the worst for him. He still is in a stage between "I want to be a good dad" and "I'm a horrible person I literally have fucking killed people. He doesn't know I have killed people and enjoyed it"
Would have this crisis with a literal baby btw. Probably has full on very serious conversations with his kid about morality when his kid still drinks from the tit
I don't think he'd enjoy being around his kid fully until he starts actually forming full thoughts. Obviously, he loves him, but he enjoys weird kid questions much more than a baby who shits himself
Eggs him on too, tries to make him think until his brain hurts. He thinks it's funny, making a seven-year-old wrap his head around the concept of global shipping and LLCs.
He wouldn't give his kid normal child entertainment. It's all educational and weird shit. Also is very picky about their toys, he's basically a beige mom but its about noises and smells. NEVER give his kid something like slime, he'll go insane.
I think he's 100% the 'bad cop' parent because he would have a lot of rules that a little kid wouldn't get. I feel like the other Hunting Dogs would get on his ass about it
I think Jouno probably worries a lot about giving his kid a good childhood since I doubt his was good - he was alive during the great war as a kid, he turned into a criminal, and he's an ability user. not the best circumstances.
100% has been forced to bring his kid to his job, but he doesn't actually introduce him to any of his actual duties. Torturing? He can't know about that.
Jouno lets his kid hang out with his colleagues -> probably Tachihara, who I think would play the best 'uncle' role out of all of them
Later years ->
Personally, I think Jouno would have a son, but I don't think its a curse. I think it would actually be a sort of blessing, because Jouno was probably a lot nicer of a person before whatever fucked up shit happened that made him the way he is now.
Mentioning this cause I think his son would probably be a direct reflection of who he could have been -> more happy and carefree, and less on the offensive about everything
So when his kid gets older, Jouno is probably some weird guy who tries to tell his kid everything he 'wished he knew at that age'
Probably got his son to have a sex talk from one of the hunting dogs doctors. it was a traumatic bonding experience for the both of them.
He definitely fake kidnapped his kid like 3 times in case something happened. Jouno is a super soldier, but his son is not. He needs to learn how to stab people.
Gave his son a gun/knife. Insists he brings it school, no he does not care if it's against the rules - he literally is the law. His son is also a target, so it is necessary in his eyes.
God please someone stop him he thinks someone is going to murder his son every second of every day
I'm pretty sure his son is some dweeb that Jouno is almost jealous of - like he never got the opportunity to be a dork who cries about homework. he was too busy killing people in his gang at that age
Jouno definitely drops the most insane dad lore. "I killed werewolves in Kenya once" while in the middle of a PTA meeting
Worst PTA mom btw. He WILL interrogate his sons teachers and pull up their records, he is the worst parent. He really shouldn't be allowed there actually
Is a lot nicer to his kid when his son is older.
He isn't his 'best friend' but he tries to do everything he can to be a good dad -> he lives everyday thinking that it'd be his last one with his family, so he tries not to leave with a bad impression
Jouno probably lies awake at night with the thought of what his last words could be to his family
The bitchy teen years would be the worst cause Jouno would probably have the best comebacks, so any sort of argument would be shot down immediately.
i dont think he lets arguments fly at dinner. If he's even there. He would be very busy, so I think his schedule would be erratic. Although I think his son would be the same and stay up at 3 am and get a lecture from him
The hunting dogs all try to teach his son about basic things like shooting and self-defense -> Teruko definitely shot at him once or twice so he knows how to avoid an assassination attempt.
Was actually really proud that his son graduated from school and is a relatively normal member of society. He never even killed someone, that's a high achievement!
#these are just headcannons#im gonna use these for a fic or two maybe cuz they give me ideas#i just cant stop thinking about dad jouno....#also to the ppl who responded to that post this is for you#bsd x reader#bungo stray dogs x reader#bungou stray dogs x reader#jouno x reader#jouno x you#jouno x y/n
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