#i just. i don't know anymore | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kenzie-ann27 · 6 months

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oh cool it's getting real bad again

#i just. i don't know anymore #i wish i mattered to anyone #i wish like. idk #i could disappear off the face of the planet and not one person would even fucking realize i was gone #that's how little impact i have on anything and it just. i fucking hate it #people just forget i even exist and it hurts so fucking much and it doesn't even matter! i don't matter!#and they just go on like i never was anything at all #and i'm the horrible one for caring. i'm the horrible one for being nice #i don't understand it and it makes me go insane like #i get it i'm the only person who has zero friends so like obviously i care too much #when you're popular you can afford not to care #and it's fine when i get upset because no one even fucking notices #makes me want to tear my hair out like what the fuck #what did i do wrong #and no one will answer #fucking no one ever answers

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t4tbedehopmar · 11 months

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sorry

#i just. i don't know anymore #this summer sure is being fun huh

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madamemiz · 8 months

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sad: falling out of a hyperfixation

tragic: watching your beloved friends and mutuals fall out of the hyperfixation while you're still in it

#oughhhhhhh #this is about the dca fandom but also about every other strong fixation ive had over the years lol #i know it's normal and inevitable esp for less popular works or minor characters with little canon content #and there's nothing wrong with smaller communities of course those rock #but there’s just something special about getting into something at the same time as a lot of other people all at once #and existing in this chaotic fandom space that's just bursting with creativity and passion #i've been in fandom spaces for as long as some of you have been alive and i've only come across that sort of unbridled joy like #a handful of times at best #it's just a heartbreaking feeling to see real lightning in a jar fandoms like that wither away as people drift away #(understandably so!)#anyway don't mind me i'm just having thoughts #musing about fandoms past as well #that i too eventually moved on from but remember fondly even if im not active in anymore #also my music just aint hitting right so im just sitting in silence which makes me more Contemplative(tm)

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cowardlykrow · 2 months

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Don't even look at each other before marriage

#You guys this took days to finish and i don't even know why OTL #now this was SUPPOSED to be a whole npmd main cast line up #but then i just... didn't wanna anymore haha so just these three :Bc #me realizing i wrote Save instead of Leave: :is big failure 😔😔😔#Hatchetfield #peter spankoffski #stephanie lauter #grace chasity #NPMD #nerdy prudes must die #starkid #taping my mouth closed to prevent the infinite complaints i have for this

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my-secret-shame · 1 month

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#marc spector #marc spector edit #moon knight #moon knight edit #oscar isaac #oscar isaac edit #q #has this been done before? i don't know if i have new thoughts anymore of it they are just recycled #my stupid edit #(affectionate)#moon knight meme #moon knight memes #moon knight text post #moon knight text posts #moon knight mcu #khonshu #khonshu edit

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catsauceeartofficial · 3 months

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Accepting isolation, craving belonging

#art #digital art #comic #long post #this is kind of vent?#I don't want to be all I had a rough childhood wahh #I just find it bizarre to have so many little aspects of my childhood shape me #I crave isolation #I thrive in isolation #But I want to belong #I want to intimately know someone #and I want someone to intimately know me #This is to all the people who have loved me #even if we dont talk anymore #i love you and have loved you and i want nothing but for you to be happy #original post

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vivenecii · 10 months

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The amount of time it took me to finish this little drawing is ungodly. Maybe as it should be, I drew a demon after all.

#everyone knows the 'just one more page' lie #mine is 'I'll just correct this one teeny weeny invisible detail and it's all done'#it wasn't all done for the next two hours #i'm this indecisive #good omens #good omens 2 #fanart #digital #david tennant #crowley #anthony j crowley #this particular demon decided I don't have an art block anymore

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letmetellyouaboutmyfeels · 1 month

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As if I wasn't already exhausted enough this morning...

It's been brought to my attention that people are taking my fanfics, editing them, and sharing them around. I don't have the words to describe how not okay this is. If you don't like something about my fanfic, then I'm sorry to hear that, but there are a lot of other fics out there you can read instead.

I put time and effort and care into my writing, as does every writer. To take my work without permission and change it feels like someone just punched me in the gut. Frankly it makes me not want to share my work at all and to take down all the writing I do have up, because why should I share anything with people if all they're going to do is decide it's not good enough and they're going to do what they want with it and make it "better"?

And before anyone comes at me, this is not what a transformative work does. This is not the same as fanfiction. I'm fucking exhausted from working two eleven hour shifts over the weekend so my brain is not working so someone smarter and more articulate than I am can explain why. I'm tired.

This genuinely makes me want to take down all my works and not share anything new. It's very simple, kiddos: Don't like it? Don't read it. You will miss out on some fanfics that way, just like you'll miss out on some films, or books, or TV shows. I've missed out on really good fic, novels, films, etc, for the same reason. We all do. It's a part of life. Stuff will sometimes have things in it that you don't like. Skim those parts, fast-forward those scenes, grin and bear it, or just go and read/watch something else.

Normally I would make this post unrebloggable but I worry other writers in this fandom might experience the same thing and not realize it. So people are welcome to reblog this. Anyone who's an ass on it will be blocked, no second chances.

Just. Don't do this guys. Holy shit don't do this. What the actual fuck.

#mads writes stuff #911 abc #911 fanfic #yes unfortunately tagging the fandom since that's the fandom it happened in #I'm just #holy fuck #genuinely I want to message every writer I know in this fandom #even if we've never spoken #to like... warn them this is apparently a thing #I wish I could make my brain work right now but I'm so fucking braindead #I'm working three jobs and this is my fun relax safe space except NOT ANYMORE 'CAUSE PEOPLE ARE BEING DICKS #just... don't fucking do this what the FUCK is wrong with you #actual CHILDREN are more respectful holy fuck

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tevintersnakes · 1 month

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back in the fallout pit, fortunately my art has improved since 2016 so I can draw doctors hanging out together somewhat effectively now

#fallout #arcade gannon #my art #posting here cos the relevant oc's rp blog isn't active anymore and my main rp blog rn is vtm stuff but this last week I've drawn him A LOT #as of March Dr. Antyllus is a 10 year old OC of mine! His fallout verse consumed me entire during 2016/2017 I did a lotta rp then!#know that despite using him as my player character in both NV and Fo4 I don't consider him the protag for either - he's just some guy #with his own set of antics going on I pinned on him #I just like playing through the game as him anyway and thinking up how he'd fit in and what his responses to stuff would be as a companion

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kathaynesart · 6 months

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It is that time of year again, though this one is a little more special, I suppose. Wish I could do more, but I'm super busy with the Replica Holiday Special and a few other projects! A lot of people really liked my TED Talk last year about aging, so I guess I could give an update on that for those interested!

The big 4-0. It feels strange, being here and not feeling like I should be. I was always a Toys R Us kid / Lost Boys brat who never wanted to grow up and did everything possible to make it so! Still do I suppose, haha. The older I get, the quicker time seems to fly. It literally feels like my 39th was a month or so ago. But I also feel like I'm able to retain and understand so much more.

This past year has been intense. I dealt with the loss of a dear friend even younger than myself and went through a major cancer scare that really put my life into perspective. Through it all, being a part of this community has been a bedrock and something to focus my mind on as I grappled with these daunting aspects of my life. To be creative again has brought so much new energy into my life and being surrounded by so many other wonderful, supportive creatives and followers has been the greatest blessing.

Each of you who have sent me art, or words of encouragement, or questions have only added to this wonderful experience. And while I cannot answer them all due to time and shear mass, I still read each and every one of them, and I thank you. Truly.

There is so SO much I still want to do in this life and for this community, and while it's not something I'm really making any sort of money from, it has been so nice to simply create again. Makes me feel like a kid.

I don't know what this next year will bring but I'm just... so grateful to be alive. It's a true blessing and privilege to grow old that many do not receive in their life. And while I may not truly be "old" in the grand scheme of things compared to many, I, WE ALL, will always be the oldest we have ever been in every moment of our existence. Whether that be 9 or 90. So enjoy your oldest moment every chance you get! <3

#I still stand by being F!Leo age since we don't know from the math whether he's 39 or 40 #I'm just sad I can't wear my “Thirties” TMNT shirt anymore #sleep well dear prince #rottmnt #future leo #birthday

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kimorasimz · 2 days

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not a conversation pit, but nonetheless... a comfy living room.

#kimorasimz #ts4 #the sims 4 #black simmer #ts4 maxis match #sims 4 screenshots #black simblr #ts4 gameplay #the sims4 #sims 4 aesthetic #don't know if i wanna do a nyc save anymore #just feels like i'm copying everyone else #might do a personal save instead #the sims community #is it me or are these blurry #ts4 interior

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kaiserouo · 1 month

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Well someone has to give it its driver updates, Gabriel

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seventh-district · 1 month

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Making Incorrect H:SR Quotes Until I Run Out of (hopefully) Original Ideas - Pt. 3 - Random Screenshot Edition

[Pt. 1] [Pt. 2] [Pt. 4] [Pt. 5] [Pt. 6]

#hsr spoilers #hsr #honkai star rail #hsr textpost #hsr incorrect quotes #honkai star rail memes #hsr memes #honkai star rail meme #hsr meme #stelle #hsr trailblazer #boothill #jingliu #bailu #dan heng #blade #kafka #jing yuan #yanqing #dr ratio #aventurine #sunday #ough so many character tags. what a mess of a post. as always i sure do hope none of these have been done before!#anyways i've once again spent too long on these and can't tell if they're actually funny anymore but oh well i'm still postin' em #i've once again struggled and done my best to make good ID's in the alt text but i still don't know if they're done right aaaaa #also realized while doing so that i forgot to put Jingliu's face over the tumblr post's icon but i'm not fixing it now! just pretend i did #i don't believe i'll make any more like these bc it's harder than you'd think to find the exact images/screenshots to fit with the posts #but these were most of the ones that i felt needed the extra context anyways. now i'll return to my usual lower-effort edits #oh god also ignore how the sandpit one is flipped. i had to do that to get them on the right sides to match the messages 😭

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starcurtain · 11 days

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Hear me out. I know it's unlikely that Ratio would ever have been foolish enough to directly get taken in by a scam, but considering that we know:

One of the groups specifically tricked by Kakavasha before he joined the IPC was the Intelligentsia Guild

What he tricked them about was Tayzzyronth's Swarm remnants, the exact same thing we see Ratio investigating in his very first appearance in the game, and

The researchers were described as "extremely cautious"

I am surprised that "Ratio was at least somehow connected to the Intelligentsia Guild team fooled by Kakavasha before he was ever even a Stoneheart" isn't more popular with the Ratio and Aventurine fandom.

Like imagine being Dr. Ratio. You tell your colleagues, "This seems like a scam. Are you sure you should trust this 'local guide' you've made contact with? Tell me about him. A picture? Does this even look like an Egyhazan native to you? I won't save you fools from making idiotic decisions." (You end up having to clean up the aftermath of their idiotic decisions anyway. There is sand in places on your body you didn't even know existed before this. How mortifying for the Guild. For you, by association.)

Then, next thing you know, you get a mission briefing slid across your desk from your IPC connections. They want you to work with their new Stoneheart. You open the packet to see... that little bastard with the enthralling eyes who had your moronic colleagues scrambling in the dirt on a backwater planet for months. Apparently he's made a career out of fooling you your supposedly competent guildmates.

You run off to confront him. You never met him personally back then, but you deserve compensation for the idiocy you were subjected to nonetheless. He deserves to know how much of a pain in the ass he's been in your life already without ever having met your eyes--

He proceeds to shove a gun into your hands and tries to make you an accomplice to a suicide. Apparently, this is normal behavior for the man now called Aventurine. Somehow, it's supposed to prove to you that he is a sane and reliable individual.

Absolutely nothing in your life has been normal since Egyhazo.

You would like to have mundane problems, sometimes.

How do you keep ending up in this beautiful manic clever conman's orbit, and why, like binary stars, can you not escape the gravitational pull?

#honkai star rail #aventurine #dr. ratio #dr. ratio x aventurine #ratiorine #aventio #golden ratio #there's too many ship names I don't even know anymore #I just kind of love the idea #of Ratio having H I S T O R Y with Aventurine #before Penacony even goes down #and like #he's salty about it #but Aventurine has so many bigger issues in his life #the people involved on Egyhazo don't even really register #so he's like 'Another guy who dislikes me on principle'#'Fine I can handle this'#meanwhile Ratio is over here comparing their lives to quantum entanglement or something equally nerd-yearning #Ratio: Like mutualist symbiotes I continue to find myself inextricably mired in your schemes #Aventurine: Honestly I have no idea what you're talking about but feel free to keep going #also I'm aware that Ratio was mostly interested in Ruan Mei's ability to create a faux emanator #and not the Swarm itself or anything #but shush #let me have this

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ren-144p · 9 months

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something about the first few episodes of the terror having so many numbers. the men, the provisions, the inventory; but also the tension of counting. the scene where goodsir takes a picture of john franklin and his men and he's counting down the seconds. the lashes being counted down during hickey's punishment. and something about how in later episodes, numbers get lost. dates get forgotten. counting just stops. all of it becomes insignificant. like it was a countdown at first but now the time is just running out instead

#the terror #the terror amc #just some thoughts #loved the tension this show managed to build with countdowns and numbers #especially the countdowns that happened in real time like the ones mentioned #i was stressed out of my mind counting down seconds along with mr. goodsir #and i was counting in sheer shock during hickey's lashing #technically i know not all numbers went away; they still count guns in the camp later on for example #but the way they talk about food for one. the way at some point it switches from every can being accounted for #to 'we're mostly down to biscuits‚ tea and chocolate'#because the numbers don't matter anymore; all that matters it's that it is not enough #i dunno man!! numbers! i love when numbers and countdowns are utilized well to bring more horror and tension to the situation!#ren.txt

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my-secret-shame · 7 months

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Gods and Monsters

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