#i just wanna be at home rn :< | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

carissime · 7 months

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Literally no thoughts just Gojo after your wedding carrying you over the threshold of your hotel room. You’re not leaving for your honeymoon until the morning but he nearly trips on the doorframe in his haste.

“You really don’t need to carry me—”

“But it’s tradition, we need to consummate the marriage!” he insists. Within seconds his lips are against yours and he’s fumbling with the light switch, and you finally swat his hand away and just beg him to take you to the bed.

He works the zipper of your dress down, part of him sad that he’s not going to see you in this gorgeous gown again, but then it reveals your white lace lingerie and the groan he lets out is broken and guttural and desperate.

This is far from the first time he’s seen you like this, but there’s something about this moment here and now that makes it so much more intense, so much more intimate and he just never wants to let you go.

“Satoru,” you whisper, and his breath hitches.

He leans down to capture your lips in a kiss. “Shh, I know. Just lemme take care of you, like I promised.”

And when he sees the gold band on his fourth finger pressing into the skin of your hips as he sheaths himself inside of you, he nearly loses himself, sending up a prayer to whatever gods are listening that he can keep his promise to keep you safe and happy forever.

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bamsara · 9 months

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Also why did July become of the most busiest, hottest and most expensive month of my life

I need August to become boring as shit. No more shit happening to me, no more emergencies, no weddings, no birthdays, no health scares, no more heatwave, no more social obligations, no nothing I just want to stay home, make stickers for my life blood aka patreons and write fanfiction in an air-conditioned space PLEASE

#due to multiple things i had to take a large chunk out of savings and there were several social obligations and i am so tired #there were like planned expenses like bills and the $400 monty pin order which im excited for #and then sudden stuff like an emergency health and family thing and friend could not pay for something so $300ish that way #which is FINE im alright and thats what savings are for and i can always rebuild it #but its also like IM TIRED!!! I WANNA STAY HOME #I DIDNT GET TO DO NEARLY AS MANY ARTFIGHTS AS I DID LAST YEAR #also the heat killing my health but like thats kinda universal rn kdlghlsgds #ON THE UP SIDE #MONTY PINS ARE COMING i am so excited im biting the drywall #its not so much as a vent post as just a bitching post btw im happy this month is ending #actaully theres a lot i wanna talk about let me boot up a stream #sara shush

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useramor · 2 months

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sending my love from nowhere, usa

original poem - b.t.

#i think this actually did a good job at getting a lot of my emotions out rn #cried a bit writing this #i just wanna go home. something familiar. i hated it but i knew it. i didn’t realize the kind of comfort that brought until i didn’t have i #anyway pls tell me if u think is not dogshit and bad because i get self conscious posting poetry #poetry #original poem #my writing

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crocchompers · 3 months

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This is all I got

(Maggot it my little baby <3 the centipede makes him much more cute)

#I aint got nothing else to say lol #but ya #I love Maggot Beta #just a baby boy <3 #I wanna give him a bunch of smooches #Beta Wally au #I might draw him more often because Draft Beta and Og #they are not important rn for the next 2-3 hours #Maggot Beta #welcome home #beta wally #art #centipede #idk if there should be any tw #bug warning?

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puppyeared · 3 months

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the shyest creature on earth dreams of art streaming

#i know it sounds like im giving every reason why i SHOULDNT do it but i really wanna learn how to someday #i dont really have the space or privacy for it rn though since i live at home with 3 other ppl plus i have school to focus on ugh #ive been able to stream my art in discord calls but i havent done it in so long and the atmosphere is a little different #not bad different though. its fun to draw ppls conversations out and make shitposts. and i like any kind of attention heh #i also use procreate so its hard to stream frm my ipad but im looking into a lighting adapter to HDMI cable to project on my monitor #part of my urge to start a twitch might also be because i wanna learn how to make and rig a little avatar and use cute frames #and id love to play some ambience music while i draw and just. idk. listen to ppl talk..? but im lacking in audience engagement #since i suck at responding and public speaking and prefer to do things quietly. i just like being observed like im on national geographic #yapping #doodles #sona #puppysona #my art #myart

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skunkes · 5 months

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#no punchline just slice of life ^_^#tho i did wanna make it longer but felt it wouldnt ''end'' properly ykwim #anyway talon has qualms bc he wants to go to the spring but isnt feeling well enough to make the walk rn #he needs some blood #a doodley #OH and more context is al's parents' home isnt/wasnt readily adapted to smaller furs! it was a surprise visit #and al was at work so they were stuck there for a bit

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welcometogrouchland · 1 year

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I also think it's nice that they made Camilla a sci-fi nerd and Luz a fantasy nerd. They're genres that are often seen as completely opposing one another by many people, which is what we're led to believe about Luz and Camilla in season 1. Luz is silly, nerdy, frequently in over her head and irresponsible and loves the boiling isles. We're led to believe that Camilla is the normal, conventional TV mother who'd be disgusted and terrified by the demon realm if she saw it.

Then yesterday's lie gives us a lot of nuance to this, and we realize that while they're still very different and now on opposite sides of a conflict, both mother and daughter are incredibly kind people (seen in their treatment of Vee) who love each other but struggle to make the right choices without hurting one another.

Then thanks to them drops all this Camilla characterization and we realize! She was a nerd too this whole time! The wedge between Camilla and Luz is motivated by past traumas and grief! and for the future has them switching sides on the central conflict of where Luz should stay (Camilla now wanting Luz in the demon realm because it's what's best for her, and Luz believing that staying in the human realm is what's best for the people she loves). They finally talk and realize that, like Willow pointed out earlier in the ep, the two are so alike. Camilla reveals that she's a secret nerd too! That she had a hard time growing up and accidentally hurt Luz trying to save her from the same fait! It's so important to me that Camilla keeps calling Luz a good witch. It's affirming her interests and goals, reminding her that she's just as good as the hero of her favorite story. And Luz finally only realizes that she wants to be understood...when she's finally able to understand her mom. When she realizes that the woman she loves and admires is just as much of a nerdy screw-up as her and that there's hope for her. Her palismen ends being multiple animals at once, showing both how Luz making unconventional choices (like carving an egg) keeps paying off for her and how her potential is limitless now that she finally knows and accepts her own goals, but to me it also reminds of the fact that Camilla is a vet and passed a love of all the weird and unliked animals (like wolves, possums, snakes, etc) to her.

It's just so so sweet and it really shows how much love and thought the crew put into this mother daughter storyline (FTF haters are not welcome on this page, respectfully). I can't wait to see how both of these misunderstood but healing women (who radiate "little/big sister" and "mom" energy respectively) are gonna interact with a) the lonely, easily manipulated and well intentioned but ignorant collector (a mix of both their interests as a magic being with a space motif! I just realized that lol) and b) the nasty puritan white man who's really obsessed with conforming to society's norms even when it literally doesn't benefit him at all.

Anyway, I believe in noceda( AND clawthorne 👀) family supremacy 💙

#the owl house #toh #toh spoilers #luz noceda #camilla noceda #this isn't proofread so if there's words missing or misspellings or somethings unclear feel free to mention #but this is just a messy thought dump #I have a ROUGH WEEK. I wish there was a more positive vibe in the fandom rn (although i kinda get it but also :( sad)#but there isn't one i will create it #tentatively I don't have a responsibility to do that I just wanna talk about things i noticed and like #i am going to post reqs just u wait. bitch!#also uhhhh other things i thought while making this post but couldn't include:#hunter and gus being fantasy trekkies is really funny and cute but also fits really well with both of their characters #gus has always been in love with the human realm and this is the ultimate neat little bow on that.#he's dressed as a character he relates to (captain avery trying to get back home to the family he loves) and his interest is uniquely human #bc sci-fi is kinda uniquely rooted in/associated w/ the human realm in toh. even in something like Belos' steampunk tech #SPEAKING OF. hunter oh my GODDD #he gets so attached to the human realm in TTT bc he's finally somewhere safe (he's always been entrenched in the most-#-toxic parts of the demon realm and it's culture which is ironically propelled forward by one humans influence)#and it's like a part of him is reclaiming his weird split heritage. he loves magic and he loves sci-fi and he's silly abt both #he's not a witch or a human and he's happy. or at least he will be #anyway. i love this shows relationship to fiction it is sweet and comforting and funny

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sketchy-tour · 4 months

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He has!!! ARIVED!!!!!

He's here he's here he's here!!!!!! Safe and sound!!! We sat down and did some coloring together!!!!

And also made sure he met his new neighbors! Had a nice chat with my childhood stuffed animal! Asking all about what his new home is like. And of course, he had to meet Boober Fraggle!

Watched some Winnie the Pooh together! I think he really liked it. I hope he felt warm and welcomed in my home. A nice and cozy first day here!

#welcome home #wally darling #welcome home puppet show #welcome home arg #not art #i mean except for the crayon doodle-#nfndjfkdk #IM FILLED WITH SO MUCH JOY RN!!!!!#Hes HERE!! i keep grabbing his little face with my hand!#hes so sweet. hes so small!#AAAAA I GET TO SPIN HIM FOR REAL!!!!!!!!#PICKING HIM UP AND SPINNING HIM IRL!!!!!#I wanna get a lil voice box for him so bad.#Specifically of him saying “Keep your smile merry and always know that I love you. Very much.”#like you have no idea NO IDEA #i need to find one small enough though!!!!!!#and get help. cause haha i cannot sew #anyways!!!!!!!!!!!!! jdjfjdkkfkfj Celebrated with cartoons and cracked open a box of crayons just for him!#literally #ive been saving those crayons for when he got here. didnt open them till today!!!!#SPECIAL CRAYONS FOR SPECIAL MAN!#also cant not imagine him staring in awe at my rainbow keyboard. hed love that shit #sorry if this is too silly and sappy im just!!!! so happy right now!!!!!

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softfatboytoy · 9 months

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So unfair that food costs money >:((

Even more unfair that money costs work >:(((

#I just. really hate my job rn lmao #I just wanna stay at home and get fatter not whatever stupid shit I'm gonna be doing at the latte farm today >:(((

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thinkin-bout-milgram · 1 year

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Triage: Initial Thoughts

Hello! Venus back at it again with the 4-5 AM theory time! This time we’re looking at Shidou’s second MV, Triage!

I’m going to be going through my various thoughts on everything as usual, going point by point to analyze each thing. I’ll be referencing Triage, his first MV Throwdown, and the always-fast audio drama translation by @onigiriico!

Alright, let’s do this!

Shidou’s kids died immediately, but his wife had a chance to live.

I’m basically just going to give a quick play by play of what I think happened in the video.

Surprise, Shidou has kids! And a wife, but we figured that already. They’re all very cute and all until they fade out like ghosts pretty early on. Before that happens, though, I think that, chronologically, the opening sequence of Shidou walking with some groceries happens first.

He’s just going about his day, walking around, having a great time. He’s intending to take stuff back to his family and cook dinner or whatever he usually does that we see in the cute scenes.

Then, though, he gets a phone call. He answers it (this is the untranslated “Kirisaki desu” part; please let us know if you find a full translation of what he says on the call there!) and we move on to the next scene. However, later, at 1:57, we hear the line die. I think that this is probably Shidou getting a phone call from the hospital. He sounds casual in his initial response because he probably assumes it’s work related, but once he hears what happened, he drops the line and immediately heads over.

I think Shidou’s kids must have died immediately because of Throwdown. Throwdown has absolutely no references to his kids (though he does mention liking children and stuff like that in his first audio drama, which now kinda stings) and, were he also trying to save them, I’m sure there would’ve been at least some references.

I think it’s far more likely that, whatever happened, both his kids died immediately, but his wife was in a condition where he could still try to save her. That’s when Throwdown occurs. Shidou probably focused intensely on trying to save his wife as a way to cope with the death of his children. Then, after his wife officially died, it really hit him that he had nothing left, and he was forced to process it. That’s when he started feeling all the guilt and wishing for death.

This isn’t really relevant, but my best bet is a car crash. It seems like a likely and viable way that his kids could’ve died instantly while the wife could’ve kept living. As a minor note on that, he’s also walking back with groceries, which could indicate that someone else (the rest of his family) might’ve had a car. I don’t remember if Shidou mentions anything about driving or anything like that at any time, but if I had to call a method of death right now, that’s what I’d go for.

NOTE: I do want to disclaim this by saying it’s also possible that one of his kids was the flower person in Throwdown. He gives a receipt to one of his kids, so that could make some sense. I need to go back and compare the flower person in Throwdown with the people in Shidou’s family now that they have appearances. I also need to reread his first audio drama; he says something about it being fitting that Es is judging him, which could check out if his crime relates to trying to save his kid instead. If I am wrong and it was one of his kids that he was trying to save, then everything about what I’m saying still checks out; just swap everything I say about his wife with one of the kids.

Shidou purposefully showed us the least forgivable parts of his crime in Throwdown.

Looking back on it, Shidou painted himself in an awful light in Throwdown, and I’m sure it was intentional. After all, he was trying to get us to give him a guilty verdict. If you say that a prisoner like Muu might have been altering what part of her story we received in order to get her desired verdict in the first round (innocent), Shidou could absolutely do the same thing with a guilty verdict.

He doesn’t show us any of the context of his loved ones and how much he loved them; that was all stuff we had to read between the lines of. We see him butchering plant after plant only to end in horrific failure without ever seeing him succeed at anything surgical. (He still should’ve hypothetically been saving lives while doing all of this; it’s not like he was ONLY killing people.)

He even shows us the horrified reactions of the loved ones of patients he killed. I can only imagine that he would do that if he was trying to spark a negative reaction in us.

In contrast, this MV is very straightforwardly showing how the day he lost his family went for Shidou and directly examines what verdict Shidou wants (more on this later). I think, therefore, that this is probably a much more honest view of the situation than Throwdown, at least in terms of how Shidou perceives the truth.

Shidou is constantly plagued by the guilt of what happened.

The simplest way to explain this is with this image:

When showing Shidou’s family turning to ghosts, he views the man that he used to be as dying with them. Shidou, as he was, is dead. Still, what happened clearly still impacts him. That’s pretty obvious, but I’m talking down to the details. He mentions kids and liking them in both of his audio dramas. Further, take this lovely image:

Pancakes. Shidou made pancakes for his kids. In BOTH Minigrams 3 (Pancake) and 24 (Pancake: a Second Trial) Shidou is directly shown talking about pancakes and their relation to children. He really wants Amane, the young child, to try some. It seems like he used to make pancakes for his kids before they died. He’s very clearly not recovered in any sense. That’s not surprising, but it’s still something to point out.

Triage takes place almost entirely before and after Throwdown.

That sounds a little confusing, but all I mean is that Throwdown is completely isolated from this MV. Some parts of this MV happen before the events of Throwdown; those are the ones featuring Shidou’s wife and kids, as well as the ones where he simply looks younger. The other parts are clearly looking back at the same time frame, but are from Shidou’s present perspective, here in Milgram. Those are the ones where he reflects on his verdict or directly addresses what verdict he wants.

Most directly, I think the part at 2:14 indicates this. Shidou, looking back on the death he caused (knives in the pomegranates and other food, dead flowers, receipts from the surgeries that we also saw in Throwdown), says “I want to be INNOCENT / I want to live.” That’s him, in the Milgram prison, right now, coming to terms with the fact that he actually, genuinely wants to live right now.

In the audio drama, he’s clearly conflicted. He still says that he wants to die, that he wants to atone for his sins and that dying is the only way he can make it up to the people he killed. He also, though, says that, at least for right now, he wants to live. Futa and especially Mahiru are on death’s door, and there’s no telling what other injury might occur. He believes he’s essential to saving lives within the Milgram prison (and I think he’s 100% right).

He even directly references this in the song lyrics, talking about “extracting the fang.” The fang is clearly Kotoko, given that Milgram has referred to the damage Kotoko does with fang imagery before and given that that’s what he’s currently healing. He has to be the one to save them because he’s the only one who can; as a result, to save lives, he has to care about his life right now. While he’s still unsure of what final verdict he wants, he knows that he needs to stay alive, at least going into trial 3.

VOTE: INNOCENT

Personally, this one’s a no-brainer. Es theorizes in the audio drama that Shidou only harvested organs from braindead patients, and though he never outright confirms it, based on his responses, it seems to me like that’s true. That means his crime isn’t as severe as we initially thought it was.

Additionally, he’s right; he is indispensable to us right now. He outright says in the audio drama that if he stops giving Mahiru care, she’ll die, whether or not anything else happens to her. That basically tells us that voting Shidou guilty means Mahiru dies. That’s not good, and I’d rather avoid prisoner death when we think it’s possible.

I also just don’t think it’s smart to change verdicts on him here. If we decide that, after all is said and done, we can’t forgive Shidou, we should do that with the third verdict. Here, we want to leave both options open. Right now, Shidou is torn between wanting to live and wanting to die. If we switch to guilty, we’ll ruin any chance he has at recovering a will to live and a will to atone through any means other than death. If we want to preserve the option of forgiving him in the end, I think we have to forgive him here. We can debate whether his actions were forgivable or not in the last round.

#admin venus #milgram #ミルグラム #kirisaki shidou #shidou kirisaki #milgram theory #i'd like to apologize if this is incoherent #i moved around a bunch of paragraphs and i don't wanna proofread rn #i have to pack and go home for spring break tomorrow and it's already 5 am #the lights only just came back on recently #it's been a power out for a while over here which is why the other admins were talking about battery so much #also the mv didn't have english subs right at the drop so we watched in french for a hot minute #that was fun #also apologies if i'm too much of a shidou apologist but legit i feel like his crime is at least extremely understandable #and he does genuinely seem to want to help #the audio drama made me emo though ngl #like... oh... THAT'S why you were commenting on Es being a kid and all that so much...#i lost my train of thought. anyways have your initial thoughts #i'm gonna try to get the futa/mu/shidou full theories up over the next week or so cause break

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koko2unite · 3 months

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I'm so mentally ill I can only draw in my cheaply bought pre-owned tablet from 2015 using my computer in my silly little room in my house and not anywhere else

#what the hell #also idk how you guys can do it but drawing in ipad is so difficult #screen too tiny every button is so tiny half of my shortcuts doesnt work #sobbing #i wanna go home #oh i never told people but im at my parents house right now and i cant go home until uhm indefinitely #so not only my work commute is much more longer i also cant game #but also #i cant draw #even though i brought my ipad with me #because???? idfk #my brain suckssss #and if i push forward and keep drawing the result ended up looking shit and my mood just got worse and AAAAA #Also everybody here is on diet so no snacking!???#im gonna cry #also i have 2 comms right now in the work but i didnt upload both in the cloud so i dont have the files rn and im crying and aaaaaaaa

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puppyeared · 4 months

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for like 3 weeks i was wondering why i was sleeping so much and felt listless. and just now I managed to email 3 people and responded to a month old message in the span of an hour because I got back to TAKING MY FUCKIN MEDS..........

#MOTHER FFFFUCKER #to be fair. my doc said I could stop taking them while im on break since i wouldnt need to be constantly pumped on stimulants #im not sure if it was a side effect but i managed to take like 3 different naps in one day and STILL managed to sleep thru the whole night #at least 2 days into my break. the weird thing is i didnt feel more or less rested afterwards. but mentally i think im in a good place rn #to really put the level of awakeness im at rn i feel weirdly confident i could start one piece. also bc of that sick new opening it BANGS #the song is really good and im in love with the animation style. did some digging and it seems one of the lead animators is masato mori #but i could be wrong. it seems he also did some work on mp100 which could explain a lot lol.. he uses smear frames really well to convey #consistent movement and fluidity!!! someone else might have done color design but it works really really well esp with odas style!!#just love the overall vibe and aesthetic and id really love to study it and incorporate a bit of it into my art.. especially the thick #outlines which i think helps to separate characters and objects on screen. though i have to say the style is definitely more suited to #animation bc of the simpleness and smears. maybe that will help me explore shapes and perspective when i draw... i wanna get better #at drawing poses and angles but i have a hard time wrapping my head around space and using perspective guide lines NGHHHH #i wonder if it has to do with my dogshit ability to judge distance. not depth perception but like. judge how far smth is in metres etc #im also wearing an N95 for the first couple weeks back bc of the wave. absolutely NO BODY is wearing a mask its so fucking over #where im sitting ive heard 5 different people coughing probably not into their elbows!!! and im just. head in my fucking hands #there was a kid sitting a couple seats away in class coughing as he pleases and i wanted to grab him in a chokehold so badly. PLEASEE #ive been annoying my family by asking them to mask up and reminding them to bring masks when they go out and showing them news articles #but at least its working bc we ordered some KN95s and my mom is at least taking me seriously so. please dont be afraid to speak up abt your #health. take care of yourself and others however u can!! wear that mask indoors at your maskless friends house!!! stay home when u can!!#im wearing a surgical mask at home too bc my parents have '''a dry throat cough''' and they are so bad at coughing into their sleeves #also im pretty sure dry throat isnt transmissible bc my brother started coughing too so.. i also tested negative but they havent tested yet #im also not a doctor but i have to keep reminding ppl whenever i can that covid and flu work differently. covid is new and too recent to #have nearly as much research done on it. it seems its also compounding so instead of building immunity it weakens the body and spreads to #to other systems which might explain brain fog and muscle weakness. i remember someone early in the pandemic got infected and it messed up #their smell/taste receptors so bad that they cant eat most foods and that stays in the front of my mind when i think abt covid. christ #yapping

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gifti3 · 12 days

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Arranged marriage au with asmo

I need asmo to be in some type of royal otome slowburn manhwa

ramblings ramblings

the drama guys....the DRAMA! dont tell me a bunch of nonsense wouldnt happen

remember the post where i was like indifferent/passive aggressive asmo becoming curious about the MC fics are peak

similar thing is happening here! honestly i think theres some resentment coming from asmos side at first but mc is like ay....you do ur thing and i do mine

im not gonna make u do anything u dont want, i dont have any expectations from this arrangement. lets just try not to make each of our lives hell u know

lol i bet when asmo first meets MC after finding out that hes supposed to marry them he's like thinking "......ig theyre not that bad looking"😒 (he literally would have been flirting with them in any other circumstance)

hmmm mc needs to be apart of a pretty influential family i think since this is gonna be a political type marriage

and asmo,,,,i feel like he doesnt really engage in the specifics when it comes to politics or anything. it's just not something thats important to him. he has his side hobbies and business endeavors that cares about. But topics outside of those things are left up to his family

so perhaps one day, the head of the family (i wanna say lucifer but since i want the person in this role to give off more a mysterious vibe, where his word is final michael might be a better choice) is like... this specific family...theyre kinda important and we want them on our side so get married to their eldest who has rejected every other person ever but has agreed to marry and since u dont do much when it comes to political affairs im gonna have you do this whether you want to or not

and asmo is just like....HUH he tries to get lucifer to help him out here but lucifers like...yea dads not budging sorry lil bro (he doesnt say it like that but similar sentiment lmao)

now mc never really wanted to get married cause they didnt wanna have to go through the motions against their will and they like their life as is but their parents have been breathing down their neck about marriage for years now. And now that this BIG opportunity has present itself to their parents, it feels like the pressure is really on now! at first mc is like shit...idk if i can weasel my way outta this one

and then......they realized that maybe this could probably work out in their favor actually.....

mc agreed to married him cause asmo has a bit of a reputation as a partier and a playboy

with asmo they feel like things can stay as they are for the most part if they let him continue to do as he pleases (not like they could have stopped him if they wanted to lol)

everything can be the same, they can still live their own separate lives, just now they have the title of spouses!

and thats the plan, like i said before asmo comes in being a bit rude at first but it kinda changes to indifference and a little passive aggressiveness once MC is like...yo chill im not gonna shit on ur parade. i just wanna be left to my own things. you do you sir

yes thats the plan...thats supposed to be the plan and it was going as mc expected for a good while

but as we know if u put something or someone in front of asmo enough times hes gonna get curious

#im an AU girlie til the end #thats all ill ever be #this isnt even the drama part #i wanna say like several things happen #cause its not clear in my head #i just know theres potential for stupid shit happening cause asmo is doing the same shit he was doing before he got married #like sure its not a love type of marriage but it definitely doesnt look great #mcs parents probably arent gonna be thrilled when rumors start spreading #and then theres also the fact that #if these rumors are spreading then some ppl will be like #so....i can be mcs sidepiece possibly???#omg sidepieces getting jealous and trying to start shit is on the table #dont even get me started on when asmo starts caring about MC #hes like at the “club”#and hes like....hmmm this isnt as fun as i was expecting it to be #he doesnt even know why #probably heads over to MCs #and mc is like...wth im trying to go to bed why r u here????#i think they should live separately #i think its an option but im not sure #maybe they stay in the same home idkkk #anyways yea!!!#thats all i got rn #and maybe forever #i usually get a burst of ideas like this type it out and then forget about them lol #obey me asmodeus #obey me asmodeus x mc #obey me asmodeus x reader #prime reader insert material right here #if i was at my peak of writing this would have been asmo's datura i think

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