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lovelybarnes · 3 years

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saudade- l. laufeyson

pairings: loki laufeyson x reader, mentions of other loki characters warnings: loki tv show spoilers, probably tva inaccuracies, mobius being trusted even though i don’t actually trust him lol, mentions of death, tears, a little sad angst but happy ending, ooc characters?? possible mistakes because i can't read this again skjfj about: requested, DF26 with TVA Loki running into the variant of his dead spouse a/n: thank you so much for requesting! i loved writing the last scene so much

loki has narrowly avoided the tva for years, opportunities much better than this and chaos a lot more chaotic than this have already been caused and passed. so the how and why he has been taken in at this very moment- while he’s eating at one of those fast food places you used to like- is very, very unknown to him. he should know, however; you’ve explained to him the tired concept of time traveling many times before, although the most important things were told to him when he thought you a mere mortal like the rest- something you were not- and could not possibly know something he didn’t- also something very untrue.

but the reasoning for his capturing is not at the front of his mind- although close- his main objective staying on how to get out of this unknown place and go back to looking for you- whether the fragile fabrics of reality and string of the timeline fray and break or don’t. he knows it possible, having seen the avengers do something similar, so why can a god like him not?

he’s ripped many holes, and he supposes the consequences for them are finally catching up to him, a lot sooner than he’d like. in another world, he’d already have you, and, with you by his side, you both would’ve been out long before, or never captured at all. although, he supposes, in a perfect world, you never would have been taken away from him in the first place.

he knows stopping for food he didn’t even necessarily need- or, really, like- was not a smart decision. he’s realizing exactly how not-smart of a decision it was with every passing second that the fools in armor drag him along the halls. the stop wasn’t needed, much less planned, but the memories the greasy food and dirty restaurant brought were too pleasant- a break full of you in the nonstop mission to find you. he could nearly feel your fingers touching his, hear your voice urging him to at least try and your bubbled laugh when he cringes. the fizz of the soda had made him grimace like the first time, except there was no you to giggle at it.

loki nearly thinks it was worth it. nearly.

when the guard shoves him into another room, loki takes a second to examine the exits, barely noticing the man at the desk. the person next to him pushes him further, dropping the tesseract and various stolen pym particles on the desk. loki takes note of where the man puts them so he can steal them back.

the guard stops with him in front of a small elevator, pulling a lever and waiting. loki looks at them, “where am i? get me back right now, i have things i must attend to.” the guard only looks at him, and loki scoffs, “i am loki of asgard, god of mischief and trickery, believe me when i say there will be deadly consequences if you do not do what i ask.”

the guard huffs a small laugh, “i’ve heard that before. we’ll see.”

the doors in front of him part, opening to a room he’s rammed into. he looks back the guard, one foot already out when he’s suddenly back where he was, watching as the entrance closes. he senses the machine before he can have a good look at it, a claw that he’s seen too many variations of beginning to poke at the fabric on his shoulders. he swats it away, standing tall as he glares at the smiling machine. “absolutely not! this is high tech armor, only few of this exists.”

the tech on the machine turns the grin into a frown, pulling back the talons and instead extending another apparatus that scans at his clothing, removing them with a yellow glow until he’s completely bare. he looks down at himself before looking back up at the face, pointing a finger, “now what-”

his words are cut off when he falls through the opening ground, falling onto the bottom room, now dressed in an uncomfortable tan jumpsuit, orange letters reading TVA on the left breast. a bored man in front of him pushes a pile of papers to him, “please sign to verify this is everything you’ve ever said.”

loki ignores his words, pushing it back, “i need to find someone, stop the absurdity.” the man only blinks as a machine whirrs, printing a piece of paper he reaches over to take and place on top of the pile. he hands loki a pen, “sign that too.” loki frowns, “did you not hear me? i have important things to do.” the machine does it again, and the man repeats his motions and shakes the pen in his hand. “that, too.” the god only sighs in frustration and signs, slamming the pen down before he’s dropped again.

another man greets him in a monotone, not even looking at him while he reads off the clipboard in his hands, “please confirm to your knowledge that you are not a fully robotic being, were born an organic creature, and do in fact possess what many cultures would call a soul.” loki’s eyebrows furrow, “i’m not a robot- how many people don’t know?”

“thank you for confirming, move through,” he requests. loki glances at the machine in front of him before stepping through it, a small picture printing after he’s on the other side. loki catches vibrant orange and red with hints of green that overcome any other color. “through the door, please.”

he encounters the same guard from before with a frustrated glare, leading him to what looks like a courtroom, a woman sitting in the middle, reading off a file. “variant L4293, aka loki laufeyson-l/n, is charged with sequence violation 7-20-89. how do you plead?” loki tilts his head at her, “madam, a god- i don’t plead.”

the woman sighs tiredly, “are you guilty or not guilty?” loki’s eyes thin as he observes her. “guilty of… trying to find my wife, yes. guilty of being extremely frustrated, yes. guilty of whatever it is you’re accusing me of, no. not guilty.” loki’s hand curls, trying to use his abilities inconspicuously but dismayed to not be able to. he tries again, only to come up empty as he realizes what is happening. “magic powers are no good in the tva, mister laufeyson,” the judge says absentmindedly. “i prefer l/n,” loki diverts simply, unknowingly catching the attention of one of the attendees. the judge barely acknowledges him, about to say something else before a man jumps up, hand raised, “wait, wait- uh, i have something to add to this. before the court makes a decision.”

the judge tilts her head at the man, pursing her lips before sighing and letting him approach the bench. loki leans in to try to understand the whispers that are exchanged, ending in the judge sending one last look his way before letting him go. “the court finds you innocent- and under agent mobius’ responsibility,” she clarifies, looking at the man and watching him nod quickly. she slams her gavel and motions for the man- mobius, he assumes, to take loki. he stands and awkwardly bows, before going over to loki and raising an eyebrow, “don’t betray me,” he says, words too true to be something playful. loki’s head tilts to the side in slight confusion, watching as the man begins to walk, pausing to urge loki to follow him.

loki ignores the activity through the windows of the hall, choosing to concentrate on mobius. “why did you do that?” he wonders aloud, suspicious eyes following him as his head peeks into halls. “let’s just say it’s a favor, although you’ll be on thin ice forever.”

“favor for whom?” mobius doesn’t answer, turning a corner. loki exhales sharply before following him, continuing to pry as he briefly heeds his surroundings. the sight of a woman in a suit much like mobius’ catches his eye, her back to him but he recognizes the shape of her shoulder and the color of her hair. he looks away, pretending to concentrate on the clock thing on the television but actually chasing the overfamiliar features to a face.

the sound of your voice- something he hasn’t heard in an obscenely long time- craved for so much longer it seems like a lifetime, snaps his attention to what surely must be a cruel joke. he can tell it’s you now. you’re standing there, head tilted at the same receptionist man and chuckling exasperatedly, “come on, casey, we’ve been over this. a fish and a lion are not the same thing-”

“but a lionfish-?” casey asks, and loki is pushing away the guards already, because you’re there, you’re solid and laughing like you used to and you can’t not be real. he can distantly hear mobius’ voice telling the guards to let him go as if loki hasn’t already taken care of that, walking over to you with quick and quiet footsteps. his fingers circle around your wrist first as an assurance, and when you turn, hand still in his, eyes widening when you notice who he is, he pulls you into him completely. your arms wrap around him barely seconds later, finally registering the person in front of you as you squeeze him. “loki?” you whisper, inhaling the same familiar scent of him that you haven’t had in what seems like forever.

“i missed you so much,” he says, hands wandering over your back, touching your arms and your shoulders and your hips just to touch you. “me too- i didn’t- i thought i would never see you again.” your tears are falling on the fabric of his jumpsuit, small tearful gasps escaping your lips while you tug him as close as you can, tangling your fingers in his hair and shutting your eyes at the familiar feeling. “oh god, you’re here-”

“i missed you so much,” he repeats, and you finally notice his words, realization like electricity, making you tremble and sigh softly. “what does that mean?” you question, already fearing the answer and already knowing the effects: the mess of his usually kept hair and the red tint of his eyes, like a sheen of sadness that stains the color of the eyes you have missed for so long. loki pulls away from you only to look at your face, trace the shape of the lips he’d spent hours of the morning pressing kisses to, memorize the curve of the nose you’d scrunch in a laugh when thor was a victim to one of his tricks.

“i have been looking for you, darling,” he murmurs, fingers running over your fallen tears while you notice the shine of his eyes, the tears that enhance the love he has for you. “because i’m…” you don’t want to finish your sentence, and you can tell loki doesn’t want you to either; he scans your features, small smile peeking through the shock and grief.

“i didn’t… mobius didn’t show me that, i thought-” your eyes flicker to the man before settling back on loki, the weight of the ring he’d given you feeling lighter now that it had found its pair. the various eyes on you don’t go unnoticed, and neither does the look mobius sends to the rest of the workers, indicating for them to go back to work. the cold of loki’s skin is comforting to the touch of your warmth, and you find yourself back in the summer afternoons where you would settle with your husband to read books, rubbing cool fingers on the hot of your skin when you felt suffocated by the heat of the sun.

another tear slips from your eyes when you realize you don’t have to imagine anymore, there’s no need to search for your memories and shut your eyes for them to run over you. your lips are on his when you can’t help it anymore, eyes squeezed close and salty tears dropping from your chin when it finally settles that he’s here and he’s yours and he’ll never be gone again.

he’ll make sure of that.

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uswntxfootball · 3 years

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i don’t want to watch the world end with someone else (jackie groenen x muwfc!reader)

a media takeover day makes you realize just how bad you are at hiding your feelings.

word count: 2634 ish

rated P for painful pining, C FOR CHEESY AS FUCK, and F for fluFF ciTY.

song inspo: clinton kane’s i don’t want to watch the world end with someone else

——

“so is everything clear?”

you and jackie exchange a glance and nod.

casey smiles and says:

“good good. it’ll happen tomorrow so just make sure you follow the guidelines that i gave, though i have no doubt you two will do just fine.”

with that said, she gave a wave and left the call.

you lean forward closing the laptop that sat on the table in front of you, before leaning back on the couch behind you.

jackie promptly laid her head on your shoulder, and you wiggled your arm around her, settling it around the back of her neck, her hand coming up to grasp yours.

your heart threatened to explode out of your chest at the act.

this wasn’t uncommon between the two of you.

you were always holding hands wherever you went, always touching, and always flirting.

this of course, didn’t go unnoticed.

as a result jackie and you have dismissed thousands of press and fan questions, with each and every “we’re just friends” sending a dagger through your heart.

yet here you were, quarantined with her in manchester, holding onto the foolish hope that things might work out.

falling in love with your best friend wasn’t part of the plan, but there wasn’t anything you could do about it now.

“y/n.”

“hmm?” you hum out, watching the girl beside you play with your fingers absentmindedly.

“what if the fans think i’m boring?”

you sit up abruptly and jackie turns to look at you.

“jacks. you’ve got to be joking right? if there’s people who think you’re boring, i don’t want to meet them,” you huff.

jackie rolls her eyes.

“well that’s you. you’re biased you don’t count.”

you gasp in mock offense.

“i don’t count? how rude i- this is how i get treated for-“

jackie cut you off while pulling you into a hug.

“oh shut up you big baby.”

you look up at her and stick your tongue out at her, an action which she returns.

getting a little lost in her eyes, the two of you maintained eye contact for an unusual amount of time, the tension almost tangible.

it’s only when jackie’s phone buzzes on the table that you both break away, cheeks red.

you clear your throat quickly and stand up.

looking at jackie’s flushed face you tease:

“you know you’re cute when you blush.”

her face flushed even redder.

“oh shut up.”

you woke up the next day at the same time you normally do.

the girl beside you was still fast asleep and you couldn’t help but stare a little at the sight.

her hair a mess and currently taking up more than half the bed with her limbs strewn about, you couldn’t be more into it.

there was just something about her.

you shook your head softly.

breaking your eyes away, you began getting ready for your run.

logging into the manchester united instagram page, you recorded a quick video greeting everyone for the day.

“hi everyone! i’m y/n, a forward for manchester united, which you probably knew already, but i’m going to be taking over this account with jackie today!”

after a little pause you continue in a whisper.

“i’m getting ready to go on a run right now, trying to be a little quieter because a certain midfielder is still fast asleep.”

“she snores too,” you added quietly with a giggle. “but i’ll be back in a bit guys!”

jackie would get you back for that later.

you got back from your run about half an hour later, with the midfielder still asleep.

changing out of your running clothes, you made a quick breakfast and some coffee for the two of you, and opened the account again.

you prop your phone up in front of you and begin recording.

“so i just got back from my run, made some breakfast, and guess who’s still asleep.”

you point towards the door behind you.

“hint it’s jackie. i even made her breakfast too. i think i should get like a “best friend in the world” award or something. i’m way too good of a friend to her. anyways that’s it for now, i’ll update you if sleeping beauty ever wakes. bye!”

you finished your breakfast while scrolling through twitter, smiling when you see some of the fans freaking out over the prospect of the two of you quarantining together.

after a little bit you heard the door behind you open, looking up to see a very sleepy (and frankly very cute) jackie groenen in it’s place.

your heart fluttered in your chest.

“coffee?” you offer, grinning at the enthusiastic nod that jackie gave you.

jackie’s cheeks flushed a little when she looked around.

“you made me breakfast?”

“well since someone slept in of course i did.”

the midfielder rolled her eyes and smiled, giving you a quick kiss on the cheek before she walked over to the counter.

you felt like you were going to pass out.

if jackie noticed your shallow breathing and flushed cheeks, she didn’t comment.

“have you recorded anything yet?”

you nod, taking out your phone to show her the account.

she pauses for a moment before propping the phone up in front and starts recording.

“hi guys! i hope y/n didn’t bore you too much this morning-”

you cut her off with a gasp.

“me?! i’m obviously the fun one here! she-ow!’

jackie interrupted you with a punch.

you pouted, rubbing your shoulder.

“see she bullies me too.”

“oh she’s so dramatic,” jackie says while rolling her eyes.

the two of you get so preoccupied with bickering that you forget all about the video.

it’s only when you turn a little bit when you notice.

“damn the fans are gonna get the jackie-y/n quarreling special today.”

jackie snorts at that, deciding to post the 2 minute video with the label you had so lovingly created.

the story post read:

“an early christmas present for the muwfc fans; featuring a 2 minute jackie-y/n quarreling special”

followed by a post that read:

“we’ll be going live in around an hour so make up some good questions for us!”

while you were posting those, you missed the loving smile and stare from the girl next to you.

you grinned when you saw the next question.

“has jackie found out about your post from this morning yet?”

jackie turned to look at you, her eyes narrowing.

“what did you say?”

“hmmm nothing nothing”

“no what- tell me!”

you pretended to think for a moment before answering:

“hmmm nope”

you let out a squeak of surprise when jackie’s fingers suddenly dug into your sides.

“fine! fine! i’ll tell you!” you relent, your chest heaving slightly.

“i just said that you snore is all,” you answered quickly.

jackie gasped loudly.

“i do not!”

“yes she does she-“

your sentence gets cut off when jackie pulls you into a headlock.

“you can’t silence me! jackie snores li-“

she slapped a hand over your mouth.

“okay anyways. let’s keep goin-ew y/n!”

jackie pulled her hand back with a grimace, you smiling triumphantly.

“she licked me,” jackie whined, wiping her hand on your shirt.

a few seconds later her hand settled on your thigh, and you swore you saw her smirk when you inhaled sharply.

a little flustered, you cleared your throat quickly before turning to the screen, noting the incoming flurry of comments about how cute the two of you are together.

jackie read the next question.

“are you guys dating?”

she gave the camera a wink when she said:

“y/n wishes.”

you rolled your eyes.

“we all know you want to. i mean who wouldn’t want to date me? i’m just the hottest person you’ve ever seen and-”

“oh and she’s cocky too,” jackie added with a grin, letting out a laugh at your expression.

you turn back to screen in time to catch another question.

“can jackie play something for us?”

jackie excitedly answered a “yes”, before standing up to grab her guitar.

you shuffled over to the other side of the couch when jackie got back.

here you sat watching the midfielder talk animatedly about her song choice.

you didn’t hear much of it, instead getting lost staring at the dutch girl, her smile wide and eyes sparkling.

“y/n what do you think?”

it snaps you out of your daze.

an “i think you’re beautiful” flashed through your mind, but what came out was:

“uh i-sorry what?”

jackie giggled.

“i’ll take that as a yes then.”

a soft guitar melody filled the air a few seconds after.

this was going to be a disaster.

when jackie started singing you promptly forgot how to breathe.

you could feel your heart racing in your chest, butterflies exploding in your stomach.

her voice filled the air, and her presence was absolutely intoxicating.

strikingly blue eyes met yours during the chorus, and when she smiled softly you seriously felt like you were going to pass out.

and i wish we didn’t say goodbye

cause we’re just standing still

and i don’t really know what tomorrow holds

your heart was threatening to explode, and the three words you’ve kept buried for so long were beginning to make their way out from the back of your mind.

you didn’t know if you could make it to the end of the song.

you didn’t know if you could not tell her.

but i’ve finally realized

if this is our last goodbye until we’re gone

who cares about the wrongs we’ve caused ourselves

cause i don’t want to watch the world end with someone else

it didn’t help that jackie kept smiling at you, her eyes locking with yours and making your brain and heart go into overdrive.

it didn’t help that jackie was just so utterly attractive.

no, it didn’t help at all.

while the two of you were off in your own little world, the fans were going crazy, many picking up on the loving glances the two of you exchanged.

the livestream ended not long after the song did.

and when it did you were torn.

do you keep it to yourself?

or do you risk it all for the measly hope that by some miracle she liked you back?

your heart preferred the second.

and in a game of internal tug o war, your heart won.

“jackie.”

the midfielder whipped around to face you.

fuck she’s pretty.

“i’m-“

fuck.

the words were sitting right on the tip of your tongue.

“i-“

jackie gave you a confused expression.

“you’re what?”

“i forgot to tell you that uhm-“

fuck the words. the words were right there. just say them.

jackie tilted her head to the side, puzzled.

“you forgot to tell me what?”

you cursed at her internally for being so cute.

“i-“

you gulped.

you can do this.

its just three words. three-

“i didn’t do the laundry.”

fuck.

jackie’s puzzled expression turns into a teasing one.

“that’s what you were so nervous to tell me? come on i’m not that scary am i?”

you shook your head, cheeks flushed in embarrassment.

“hey look, we can do it together then,” jackie said with a smile, grabbing your hand and pulling you towards the room.

shit.

this turned out to be way harder than you thought.

you had tried, multiple times on multiple occasions.

your tongue however, wouldn’t let you.

each and every time you failed, coming up with the strangest excuses for your bumbling.

you’re pretty sure you accidentally said that you forgot to fold the dishes once.

jackie just thought it was cute.

though your relationship didn’t change much, you did notice a persistent blush on the midfielder’s cheeks whenever you held her hand.

you didn’t comment on it though.

jackie’s sitting next to you on the tiny kitchen counter.

the two of you are having dinner, having just come back from training, bickering about soccer (or as jackie called it, “football”) and how she missed her shot last game.

which was ironic because being this close to the midfielder made you feel like you were missing your shots.

anyways.

“oh come on it wasn’t like i was trying to miss!”

“could’ve fooled me,” you laugh, jackie gasping in offense.

“like you could’ve done any better.”

“yes i could! in fact i have a higher shooting accuracy than-“

“oh come on that was based off of our shots from like ages ago!”

“potato pota-“

“y/n!”

you smile at jackie’s indignant outcry.

“i’m just better at soccer than you,” you tease.

“one it’s football. two no you’re not.”

“yes i am.”

“no you’re not.”

“i am.”

“you’re no-“

“i love you.”

jackie stops talking.

your eyes go wide when you realize what you said.

jackie’s voice is soft when she stammers:

“wh-what?”

“i-“

you take a deep breath.

welp. here we go.

“i love you. and i’ve been trying so hard not to say it, but you make it so hard for me not to and i- i’ve been in love with you for years now jacks and i just i can’t help myself. it’s like im-“

“y/n. stop.”

you didn’t hear her.

“it’s just you. all the time. when i wake up and when i go to sleep and it doesn’t help that we’re quarantined together which is why i was trying to hard not to say it because if you hated me and this all goes to hell what would we do? i’m sorry if i’m screwing everything up i didn’t even plan on saying it today it just happened and i-“

you’re cut off from your rambling when jackie launches herself at you.

you’re frozen, with jackie hugging you tightly, unsure of what it meant, whether she hated you or not.

then.

a whisper so quiet you almost don’t hear it.

“i love you too.”

you almost fall off the counter.

you look at her with wide eyes, your heartbeat in your ears, worried that you might have heard her wrong.

“you-what?”

jackie pulls back to look at you.

fuck she’s so gorgeous.

“i said i love you too,” she whispers, looking down and looking almost the tiniest bit shy.

god you want to kiss her.

“do it then,” jackie challenges.

your ears heat up a tiny bit, realizing you said that aloud.

“are-are you sure?”

she nodded, and upon seeing your hesitation just decided to do it herself.

she tilts your head up by your chin and all of a sudden your mind goes blank.

everyone always talks about how the perfect kiss feels like fireworks, but you didn’t feel that here.

instead you felt like you were floating, with only the girl in your lap keeping you grounded.

one of jackie’s hands was on your cheek, another tracing on the back of your neck, and you felt weightless.

she broke the kiss after a while.

your heart was pounding so hard it was a miracle you were still alive.

the two of you sat quietly for a while, jackie on your lap with her head against your chest, until she broke the silence.

“that song was about you if you didn’t know.”

your heart fluttered again. the things she did to you.

“really?”

jackie nodded.

she looked up and before she kissed you she whispered:

“you’re the only one i’d want to watch the world end with.”

#jackie groenen #jackie groenen x reader #jackie groenen imagine #woso imagines #woso imagine #uswnt imagine #uswnt x reader #nedwnt imagine #nedwnt x reader #muwfc imagine #muwfc x reader

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crylovereblog · 3 years

Text

Lucky.

pairing: Casey Novak x reader

warnings: kissing and light touching but nothing too sexual or obscene

genre: fluff

summary: intimate moments with Casey.

A/N: just a little disclaimer: I am not a writer! This is the first piece I have ever written and felt happy to share and also my first attempt at fanfic! Any feedback is greatly appreciated, whether positive or constructive! Also I do not own Casey Novak or anything affiliated with Law and Order: SVU but this work is purely my own so please don’t copy it or upload elsewhere!

This also completes the cuddling square for @thatesqcrush ‘s love bingo.

There is not nearly enough appreciation for this little gem so I thought I would contribute. This is definitely not a self projection.... anyways, enjoy!

You collapsed back against the bed, your breaths coming out in short, wispy intervals. Crisp white sheets cocooned you, your body glowing in a light sheen of sweat as you lay back, heart hammering against your chest as you attempted to catch your breath. You glanced to your right to see Casey as equally breathless as you. She reached out to you and slowly traced a finger down your nose and tapped the tip. You broke out into a grin and the both of you shared a moment of laughter. You gave her a soft smile as you scooted over to her. She smiled back. You sat up on one side, resting you elbow on the plush sheets, and leaned over her. She looked so beautiful, her hair fanned around her head, making her look ethereal. The striking green hue of her eyes captivated you. The stunning flecks of caramel and gold that could only be seen upon closer inspection were warm and rich. She had captured you, body, soul, and mind.

Gazing down at her, your left hand tenderly cupped her jaw as your thumb caressed her cheek. She looked into your eyes and leaned into your touch. It was the moments like these that defined your relationship with Casey- the intimate moments that the two of you shared together were simply that, your moments. Moments that were kept and remembered in stolen glances, post it notes in lunchboxes, memorised tea and coffee orders, early mornings and late nights.

Your hair fell over your shoulder, encompassing your face, Casey lifted a hand to gingerly tuck it behind your ear. You heart swelled at the intimate gesture and you swore you felt butterflies coursing through your entire being with her delicate touch. Your eyes scanned her face, admiring every feature. Your fingers delicately began to make their own path; beginning by moving her hair away from her face, tenderly brushing against her cheek, tracing down from her brow bone, to her lips where they stopped their path. Casey’s fingers reached up and curled against your wrist as she held you against her lips. You sharply inhaled as her eyes met yours as she placed a small soft chaste kiss against them. Your eyes fluttered shut at the tenderness of the moment as you felt a heat course through you. Your head tilted down once more, your hair hiding your face as your face felt alight as shyness capture you once again.

Casey’s voice broke through the quietness, “Don’t hide from me baby.” She removed her hand from your wrist and brushed your hair away from your face, “There,” she whispered.

You pulled your lip into your mouth and bit down, still shy after all this time, “I really love you y’know,” you muttered.

“I know.”

You frowned, with your brows furrowed, the most adorable pout present. It made Casey’s heart flutter in admiration as she gazed at you, a smile breaking out on her face. Her eyes danced across your face, a light behind them, as she took in your pout that would look absolutely ridiculous on anyone else, yet she found it to be the most endearing thing she’d ever seen. “Aren’t you going to say it back?” you huffed.

“No.”

“What do you mean, ‘no’?” your face remained stern and serious whilst she looked entirely amused.

‘You heard me,” she smirked at your expression.

“But we always say I love you,” you proclaimed.

Casey laughed and rolled her eyes at you and then glanced back, meeting your expectant gaze, “Well… I’m waiting.”

Her smile got impossibly brighter and bigger as she moved towards you so that you were both sat upright now, the soft sheets draped over your bodies. Your eyes fluttered shut as she delicately pressed her lips against your left cheek “I..” she mumbled against your skin and then moved to your nose, “love” then to your right cheek, “you.” A smile broke out across your face- you tried to hide it as heat agonisingly crawled up your neck. She then moved towards your lips and finally pressed them against your own, “very much” her voice was muffled as she said it, but you didn’t care. You both pulled away smiling and giggling. Your eyes flitted back down to her lips as you pulled her toward you.

Time felt like it stopped each time her lips met yours. Each time you felt the greatest rush and so much love. Your mind clouded over, and your only thought was Casey, her lips so soft yet firm against your own- she completely invaded your mind. The scent of her perfume enamoured your senses; jasmine, nutmeg, cedar and something that was so uniquely Casey you couldn’t decipher. She kissed you the way you and every girl wanted to be kissed- needed to be kissed- like no boy had ever kissed you before. It wasn’t like trying to win a battle, or rushed, it was soft and warm, slow and tender. It was pure love. Your lips parted slowly to allow her tongue to enter. You gasped as you felt her deepen the kiss, rolling you both over so that she was on top. Your breaths mingled as you became impossibly closer. Her fingers carded through your hair, eliciting the most delectable moans from you as her other hand explored your body. One hand found solace on her waist and the other cupped her cheek pulling her deeper to you.

***

Sunlight peaked through the thin billowing curtains of your bedroom; the light shone onto your face, disturbing you from your slumber. You scrunched your face in disdain and tugged the covers over your face, trying to fall asleep again. After another weak attempt, you let out a sigh and yawned.

You glanced at the clock on the nightstand 7:32AM.

You attempted to get up, but the arm draped over your waist had other intentions. Casey was pressed up against you, your legs tangled in the sheets. She let out a groan and a soft mumble at your movements, “Will ya stop wriggling.”

“C’mon Case, let me up.”

She mumbled something incoherently that sounded something like ‘five more minutes’ and tried to scoot closer to you. She placed a kiss to your bare shoulder before getting comfy and drifting back to sleep.

Mornings where you woke up with Casey still beside you were rare, and you intended to take advantage of it. As you laid back down and glanced around the room so as not to disturb your Sleeping Beauty too much, your eyes caught the memories that decorated the room. Pictures and memorabilia from your first Christmas together, that one time you went to Mexico and Casey insisted that she didn’t need sun cream, only to have the World’s Worst Sunburn. Pictures at baseball games, work gala’s where you both spent way too much time in the bathroom to be considered acceptable, and from friend’s weddings to the small moments captured from dates. One of your favourite pictures sat on your nightstand. It was from your first anniversary and was your favourite picture of Casey. She was gorgeous. Her hair was darker then, in a beautiful dark dress that had made you weak in the knees. The both of you were laughing at something you had said. Casey has always had the most mesmerising smile- it was one of the first things you noticed when you met her. You smiled to yourself remembering the moment. You glanced back over to the clock- 7:46AM.

You rolled over in Casey’s arms and found her hand resting on the pillow, you intertwined it with your own and brought your lips to her knuckles, leaving featherlight kisses in an attempt to wake her up.

Nothing.

Not even a twitch.

You lifted yourself, lying on your front, resting on your elbows as you caressed her face, leaving soft butterfly kisses along her cheeks, nose and jaw- much like she had done to you the night before. She began to stir and snuggled closer to you. “Casey,” you sung her name. “C’mon, you need to get up.” Silence. You looked up and saw the smallest hint of a smile despite her attempt to conceal it. “I know you’re awake.”

“’m not.”

You contemplated for a moment, “If you get up, I’ll do that thing you like.”

You had never seen somebody move so quickly, “Yep I’m up, I’m here, I’m awake.”

You laughed at her antics.

***

Eventually, you both got out of bed and began your morning routine. You got out the shower into your robe and began brushing your teeth and met Casey where she had started on breakfast. You sat down on the island where your morning coffee was waiting for you. You sipped at the cup- it was perfect- too much sugar and cream for Casey to even consider drinking it but it was a little cup of heaven for your early mornings. “Thanks babe.”

“S’okay,” she lifted her gaze from the waffles to meet yours. You will never understand how you got so lucky.

***

Later that day in her office, Casey pulled out the lunch you had made her, noticing a pink post it note taped onto her bagel. The note was littered with small drawing; hearts, stars, kisses and a little stickman couple holding hands which made her smile to herself. And there in your perfectly imperfect loopy handwriting that you loathed yet she secretly loved:

‘Good luck on your first day and kick ass! I love you, gorgeous!! xxxx’

And Casey wondered how she had gotten so lucky.

#law and order svu #svu #casey novak #casey novak fluff #casey novak x reader #wlw #thatesqcrushvdaybingo

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buntyfromtwitter · 3 years

Text

if lokius happens in season 2 this is how i hope it’ll go

after countless days of research, with little to no breaks, mobius decides to bring loki a cup of warm tea. it’s late in the night, but it only took a few arguments for mobius to come to the conclusion there’s no telling loki to take a break.

loki doesn’t notice mobius until he silently steps back into the main living space, handing him a steaming mug. loki raises a brow, finally looking up from his stack of documents.

“it’s tea,” mobius says. “i don’t know how you take it.”

“black,” loki says, ignoring the small container of sugar.

“no wonder you’re so bitter,” mobius grumbles, sitting down beside loki.

loki freezes. his heart skips a beat. his stomach intersects. “what did you just say?” he all but gasps, his full attention now on a very confused mobius.

“huh?” mobius lets out a short laugh. “i made a joke. i just- i said it’s no wonder why you’re so bitter.”

loki smiles wide as he remembers his mobius. his friend. his only friend, in quite some time. his eyes turn sad- sadder than mobius has ever seen.

this is still loki’s mobius. it’s still him. his shorter height. his uniform. his smell. his gray hair. his optimism and encouraging attitude. the way he speaks so softly to loki, occasionally whispering in basic conversation, only inches away from loki’s ear.

it’s still him.

“why are you looking at me like that?” mobius suddenly asks, causing loki to snap out of his trance.

loki meets those all too familiar comforting eyes, and tries to dull down his odd smile. “nothing,” he mutters. “thanks for the tea.”

only when loki crashes on the couch does mobius feel releaved, although the giant, tall man doesn’t look very comfortable. his long legs hang over the side, while his neck cranes over the opposite arm rest.

mobius lets out a small sigh, careful not to wake loki as he retrieves a blanket from the chair. that blanket always coveres his feet, but not loki’s. still, loki snuggles closer under its warmth, and mobius returns to his bedroom with a satisfied smile.

exactly five hours later, loki swings the door open to mobius’s room, yelling. just yelling. mobius knows he has to be saying something, but his head can’t wrap around his words. not only because he got only a few hours of sleep, but because loki is talking so damn fast.

mobius sits up in his bed, his duvet still covering his legs. he’s sure his hair is disheveled and one eye is still closed due to the morning light.

he holds up a hand. “hold on,” he says, his voice low and sleepy. “slow down. take a breath.”

loki inhales sharply, and releases a much slower exhale. “i think i found her,” he says. “i think i found sylvie.”

both men make their way into the library after mobius takes a quick shower and changes into his uniform. loki is talking away, but much slower now.

they turn a corner only to come face to face with hunter c-20. she points to loki, her eyes narrowed on mobius. “who’s this?”

mobius feels his mouth open, but he can’t hear the words that are supposed to come out. he stands, completely frozen, until he jumps at the hand on his lower back.

“i’m his partner,” loki says, making a point to step closer into mobius’s side. you don’t recognize me? i work upstairs. with casey.”

hunter c-20 stares loki down. silently, she studies him, but he only offers her an indifferent smile. mobius doesn’t recognize that smile. it’s much too soft. too delicate.

he’s suddenly terrified of loki’s ability to lie so easily.

“right,” mobius says quickly, and a little too loudly. he’s staring at loki, unable to look away. “two years now,” he mumbles. “i’m almost offended you didn’t know.”

hunter c-20 finally caves. she nods, once. “carry on.”

“oh, we will!” loki says, and with his hand still on mobius’s lower back, they cross the library to sit at a table on the far corner of the room.

“wow,” mobius says. “you’re good at that.”

“good at what?” loki looks up at mobius, generally confused.

“lying.”

loki guestures a hand towards himself. “did you- i’m sorry- did you forget who i am?”

“right.” mobius mumbles. “the god of mischief.”

“precisely.”

the two men spend the rest of the day tracking different breaches in the timeline to find sylvie, but by nightfall- or what feels like nightfall- mobius decides its time to head home.

“i’m sorry loki,” he says. “really. i thought you were onto something there, too.”

they’re sitting in mobius’s small apartment; the fireplace is on, and they both have their own cups of tea.

loki is staring at the fire like it’s putting on a performance. “yes,” he says. “we’ll have to keep trying. first thing tomorrow.”

“loki,” mobius sighs. “don’t you think-“

loki jerks his head to look at mobius. “what?” he says loudly. “are you trying to tell me i should give up?”

“no.” mobius sets his empty mug onto the coffee table. “i’m saying you should take a break. relax a little. you’ve been going nonstop for days.”

“exactly,” loki says. “i need to find her as soon as possible.”

“have you ever considered that maybe she doesn’t want to be found?”

at this, loki relaxes in defeat. he knew this was the case. he never wanted to admit it to himself. but he knows sylvie sent him to a specific timeline, and if she wanted to be with him, she would be.

“just give it time,” mobius says softly. “if everything you said about her is true, she’ll come around.” a pause. then, “she’ll come back for you.”

loki blinks away tears, suddenly thankful for the darkness surrounding them. “how can you be so sure?”

“because,” mobius says, without missing a beat, “i know i would.”

loki silently gasps, and mobius keeps his eyes glued on the fire. the flame flickers in his eyes, off his sparkling silver hair. his crooked nose and soft lips.

when mobius turns to face loki, loki kisses him. it’s soft, fast and short. a special first kiss- the kind that you could swear wasn’t real if it wasn’t for the warmth in your chest, blooming and pouring into your limbs and up into your head.

mobius needs more. that wasn’t enough, he decides. he takes loki’s mug and puts it on the coffee table, all the while loki sits, almost submissively, while his lips are glued shut and his stomach ties itself into knots.

mobius scoots closer, now sitting on part of the blanket draped over loki’s lap. with a hand gingerly on loki’s cheek, he brushes his skin with his thumb, watching his eyes widen in fear and shock. need and want.

mobius leans forward this time, his nose brushing against loki’s while he carefully, gently captures loki’s lower lip between his own. his lips move slowly while loki’s are frozen; his hand moving to rest on loki’s hip instead of his cheek.

loki holds onto mobius’s opposite hand. tightly. firmly like he’s afraid to let go. and he kisses mobius back, nudging forward- rougher and faster than before.

the fire crackles in the distance, flickering light and heat onto their bodies as their hands roam and their lips move in sync until finally, desperately, loki pulls away.

he’s entirely out of breath. his face and neck is flushed. he’s gripping mobius’s shirt for dear life, and he’s trying to speak, trying to clear his head of everything mobius.

“i can’t,” he utters, his chest rising and falling. “we can’t.”

“it’s her,” mobius says. “isn’t it? it’s sylvie.”

“i’m sorry,” loki pants. “i just- i have to make sure she’s okay.”

#idk how to tag this #loki #yeah loki #multishipper #loki season two #marvel hire me #let loki and mobius kiss just once i beg #sylki endgame tho

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rookie-ramsey · 3 years

Text

Songbird, Chapter 9 (Ethan X MC)

Description: She thought the biggest obstacle of her life was surviving medical school. Life had a funny away of proving her wrong with a breast cancer diagnosis.

Preview: His dad reached out and gave his shoulder a squeeze.“I’m proud of you, Ethan. I never thought I’d see this day.”

“Thanks, Dad.” Ethan smiled softly, relaxing and letting out a deep breath. “And honestly, I never thought I’d see it, either. I never thought it was something I’d want, but things change. I know that now.”

Previous Chapter

The next day, Ethan took Olivia home. He had plenty of days saved that he could take off to stay with her.

As soon as they walked into his apartment, Olivia made a beeline for the couch. She flopped unceremoniously onto it and curled up under the plush Edenbrook blanket Bryce and Sienna had gifted her.

“You rest for now. I’ll wake you up for dinner later.”

“Okay.” Closing her eyes, she wrapped her arms around a pillow and dozed off in a matter of minutes.

Unwilling to be far from her just yet, Ethan sat at the other end of the couch and quietly busied himself with some patient files. Once the afternoon sunlight gave way to evening, he left the living room to start dinner.

Per her request, Ethan made Georgian stuffed chicken. By the time the oven buzzed to alert him that the chicken was done, Olivia was awake and shuffled sleepily into the kitchen.

“How do you feel?”

“Still tired. I feel like I could go into hibernation.” Olivia washed her hands and accepted the plate of chicken he handed her. She took a seat at the table and took a bite of chicken.

Ethan sat down as well. “You need all the rest you can get. Your body is still recovering from the infection.”

“I know. I just wish I didn’t feel like sleeping all the time. At least I have an appetite today.”

He nodded encouragingly. “That’s good. You haven’t had one in a few days.”

Olivia ate her dinner in slow, small bites to avoid unsettling her stomach. She ate half of it before she felt full and stopped. “I won’t risk it. I’d like to get through one night without violently puking.”

“Understandable.”

After dinner, Olivia felt more alert and wanted to rest on the couch again instead of going to bed just yet. She made herself comfortable next to Ethan as she clicked through Netflix to find something to watch.

“There’s something I’d like to talk to you about.”

“What is it?”

Ethan cupped her cheek in his hand and stroked her jaw with his thumb. “Do you remember that conversation we had several months ago? When we talked about our future.”

Olivia nodded curiously. “I remember.”

“You said you saw marriage in our future. Do you still see that?”

Her expression softened, her eyes giving way to longing and barely concealed pain. “I remember. I just hope that future is a reality for me one day.”

“Who says we need to put it off?”

At that, she arched a brow. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying? An impulse marriage?”

“I’ve given this plenty of thought. And your impulsivity… well, it’s contagious.” Ethan couldn’t contain an amused smile. He reached into his pocket and revealed a ring box.

Olivia’s eyes widened. “You’re serious…”

“Aren’t I always?” Ethan opened the box to reveal the sparkling band. “You told me once that love doesn’t have to make sense. I understand that now. I know you’re going to live to see your future and I’d like to be a part of it, if that’s what you want. Will you marry me?”

Her eyes glistened with tears. Nodding shakily, she threw her arms around him and smiled. “Yes.”

Ethan pulled her close and kissed her head. He took her hand into his and gently slipped the ring on her finger. “I love you.”

“I love you, too…” She laid her head on his shoulder. “I want to get married in the summer. I’ll be done with chemo then. Maybe by then I won’t look like a walking skeleton.”

“Don’t,” he chastised gently. “You would look beautiful regardless of when we held the wedding. But we can have the ceremony whenever you want. It’s up to you.”

“In the summer. I want the weather to be nice. And that gives me time to finish my treatments before we start planning.”

Ethan nodded and looped his arms around her. “I’ll be content with anything that you want.”

She grinned. “I feel so spoiled.”

“That’s my goal.” Ethan’s eyes softened. “Anything you want.”

“Whipped,” she teased.

“What can I say?” Ethan grinned and kissed her softly. “I enjoy spoiling you.”

Happier than she’d been in months, she leaned into his kiss. Then she held her hand out to admire the reflection of the light against its stones. “How long have you had the ring?”

“A while,” he admitted. “I had planned on an elaborate dinner proposal, but… some things don’t go as planned.”

“I like impulsive Ethan,” Olivia agreed. She leaned against his side and closed her eyes. “I’m ready to go back to sleep, but there’s one tiny problem.”

“What’s that?”

“The bed is all the way at the end of the hall, and I don’t feel like getting up.” She opened her eyes enough to give him an innocent pleading look.

“Sounds like a predicament. What am I supposed to do about that?” Ethan teased. He stood up and lifted her into his arms. With a smirk, she wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned up to kiss him as he carried her to their bedroom.

“See? I told you. Whipped.”

Her first two nights of leave were peaceful enough. She knew it would only last until her next chemo session, so she took advantage of it while she could by spending as much time as possible eating her favorite foods and staying out of bed.

Just as Olivia suspected, her next chemo session left her feeling miserable. Normally, the side effects didn’t hit her until a few hours later, but this time she felt ill barely an hour after they’d left her appointment.

Half-asleep, she blinked tiredly when she heard keys in the front door, followed by the door opening and closing. A minute later, Ethan joined her in the bedroom. “That was fast.”

Ethan shrugged. “I didn’t want to leave you alone longer than absolutely necessary.” He reached into the bags and set out the ginger ale and medication he had picked up.

Nauseous and uncomfortable, Olivia sat up and dispensed two of the tablets into her mouth, following it with a slow sip of ginger ale. Any medication she had tried barely made a dent in the nausea, but she figured some relief was better than none at all.

Sighing, she curled up further under the covers. A tremor went through her, making her wince. Ethan’s hand smoothed over her forehead, brushing away a strand of cold sweat.

“Is there anything else I can get for you?”

She shook her head. “Just keep me company. I don’t want to be nauseous and bored at the same time.”

“We can’t have that.” Ethan sat on the bed and leaned against the headboard. He opened his arms to her. Grateful, Olivia snuggled into his chest and sighed.

“Ethan, I’ve been thinking about something.”

“What is it?”

“I don’t want to wait until summer. I want to get married sooner. I know everything is looking better for my illness, but… you know how unpredictable things can be. And I don’t want to risk not seeing that day happen.”

Ethan froze, his throat clenching a little. “You’re still worried that you won’t go into remission.”

She nodded slightly. “I know I’m supposed to focus on the positive test results, but all it takes is one setback to make things go south. I want to make sure our wedding day happens, if it’s okay with you for us to have it sooner.”

He rested his head against hers, kissing it softly. “I already told you that I’m happy with whatever you want. Are you sure that this is what you want?”

“I’m sure.”

“Then we’ll start planning.”

XXXXXX

All of their friends were surprised when Olivia rescheduled their wedding, but they understood.

She didn’t think she would ever lose the fear that her cancer would kill her, so she wanted to take every opportunity possible while she could. If things worked the way they were supposed to, then she would recover and they would enjoy a long married life together.

Still, if there was even the slightest chance that waiting until summer would mean she would die before their wedding, she wouldn’t risk it.

A month after Ethan proposed to her in their living room, they held a small ceremony in the hospital’s chapel. They kept the guest list small and the ceremony simple.

Ethan felt his heart racing with an unusual nervousness as he waited. His dad reached out and gave his shoulder a squeeze.

“I’m proud of you, Ethan. I never thought I’d see this day.”

The pianist started playing a soft melody. Inhaling sharply, Ethan moved into his position on the altar and watched as their small wedding party walked down the aisle, stopping when they reached the altar.

When the melody changed and Ethan saw Olivia at the end of the aisle, standing next to Naveen, his breath hitched in his throat. A soft smile pulled at his lips as the two made their way down the aisle.

Halfway down the aisle, Olivia faltered a little with dizziness. Ethan noticed and instinctively started to step off of the altar, but Naveen steadied her and they started walking again.

When they reached the altar, Ethan reached out and gently took Olivia’s hands into her own. She smiled, leaning slightly into him for support. Ethan gazed down at her, his eyes softer than she’d ever seen them.

Naveen took his place and gave them a warm smile before he spoke. “We’re gathered here today to celebrate the marriage of Ethan Ramsey and Olivia Winchester…”

Next chapter

Tag List, Part 1

@princess-geek / @buzz-bee-buzz / @lapisreviewsstuff / @polishchoicesfan / @msjpuddleduck / @silverlitskies / @paulfwesley / @dr-brianna-casey-valentine / @junehiratas / @choicesstanblog / @trappedinfandoms / @justanotherrookie / @imescullen / @bellcat2010 / @desmaranj / @lion-ess24 / @openheart12 / @mvalentine / @choicesfanaf / @whatchique / @smilex1104 / @elephant9998 / @nooruleman / @caseyvalentineramsey / @kaavyaethanramsey / @xee-na / @edith-eggs1 / @oofchoices / @schnitzelbutterfingers / @tefigranger / @laceandlula / @paisleylovergirl / @simsvetements / @crazy-loca-blog / @somegdchoices / @jlynn12273 / @sanchita012 / @forthebrokenheartedthings / @lilyvalentine / @parkerattano / @drramseysownsme / @misswhit12 / @drethanfreakingramsey / @juneiswriting / @macy-ray85 / @swimmingauthordreamerbonk / @myusualnerdyself / @siaramsey / @takemyopenheart / @queencarb / @drakewalker04

#open heart #ethan ramsey #ethan ramsey x mc #ethan x mc #tw: cancer #cancer tw

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crystalwillow · 4 years

Text

Kinktober - Open Heart

The Boss’ Restraints

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x Casey Valentine (F!MC)

Word Count: 2.6K

Contains: Smut, tiny bit of fluff

Rating: 18+ (NSFW)

Tagging: @mckenzie-bae @deansmyapplepie

A/N: I swear to God that I had this done and ready to post before todays chapter. I think it’ s just a little unlucky for me that what happened with Ethan, happened on the same day I planned to post this... anyhow, do enjoy this one!

=========

“Valentine, get those samples and get them to the lab right away, I’ll page you if I need anything else today. Team dismissed.” Ethan said in his usual matter of fact tone as he took a seat behind his desk and shuffling a stack of papers. “Yes, Dr. Ramsey.” The young blonde doctor replied, gathering her things and following June and Baz out of the office. She waved goodbye to her colleagues and headed towards the patients room, but stopped dead in her tracks as her pager buzzed in her pocket. “A code blue for Mr. Fitzgerald?!” she exclaimed and ran to the elevator, jamming the button for the floor she needed. Not even giving the door time to open by themselves when the elevator stopped at her floor she burst out and down the hall towards Mr. Fitzgerald’s room. She entered to chaos. “He gone into anaphylaxis Dr. Valentine and the code team isn’t responding.” A panicked nurse said hurriedly, Casey turning and retrieving the defibrillator cart and wheeling it into the room. As she worked quickly and efficiently expose the patient’s chest, she had flashbacks to her first patient Annie. The nurse set the charge for the paddles, then Casey grabbed them knowing there wasn’t a second to lose. After successfully saving Mr. Fitzgerald, Casey trudged to the locker room to put her bag away then carried on with her patients, completely forgetting about the task Ethan had given her. She was at lunch with Bryce and Elijah when her pager beeped on her tray, her face immediately falling as she read the message.

“I... I’ve got to go guys. I... Bye!”

Was all she said as she stuff the last of her bread in her mouth, grabbing her pager and water bottle and sprinting off towards the stairs. Normally she would take the elevator when she received a page from Ethan, but he sounded mad in this one, so she wanted to buy herself a little more time. Also this way she could finish her mouthful of bread and not anger him anymore. As she approached the diagnostics office, she gulped audibly as she noticed the blinds closed. Stopping at the nurses station on the floor she leant over to the nurse who was there. “Um.. How- How mad is Dr. Ramsey with me?” she asked timidly. The nurse looked to her with a small smile. “He’s pissed. But don’t worry. We’ve got our jobs to keep us busy, and we also plan to scurry the second that door shuts behind you..” the nurse replied. Casey gulped again and approached the doors, entering into the lion’s den. She expected to see an angry, fast-typing Ethan behind his desk, so was confused when he wasn’t there. Then, he whole body froze as she her the lock of the door click shut behind her. Oh no. This was bound to be bad.

“E-Ethan. Please... tell me that’s you. And not- not some st-stranger.”

But she got no response, just a familiar breath that tickled her neck and sent a shiver down her spine. “I’m not happy with you.” A low and quiet voice spoke into her ear. She bit her lip, he sounded dangerously hot when he spoke to her like this, her already forest green orbs darkened with desire.

“I- I’m sorry Dr. R-”

“Ah! No talking. I want you to listen to me.”

She swallowed hard. She knew he was confident, it was one of the things she adored about him, but he wasn’t usually this commanding at work. Which lead to her having a quickened pulse, the only time he turned like this was when they were alone in his apartment and about to move things o his bedroom. She took a seat as he walked around his desk, doing the same. She looked at him, a mix of emotions taking over the mind. She felt scared, anxious and now... a little turned on. Casey didn’t dare speak, she just met his hard stare waiting for him to speak. The silence stretched on for what felt like hour before Ethan finally took a breath to speak.

“I don’t take being ignored lightly Dr. Valentine. Care to explain yourself? Why I had to do the job you were asked to do?”

“I... uh.”

“Well?” he pushed, making the younger doctor sitting across from him even more nervous than she already was.

“I g-got a c-c-code bl-blue.” She stutter, palms sweating with a mixture of nerves and anticipation.

Ethan raised a brow at her, skeptical of her answer. “For whom? Why couldn’t the code team answer it?”

“M-Mr. Fitz-Fitzgerald. And I- I don’t know. S-Sarah said they were-weren’t answer-ring.”

His annoyance with Casey turned to curiosity for a moment as he cocked his head to the side. “Why are you scared?”

“Sc-scared? Who said I was-”

“You’re stuttering a lot. Like a child in trouble for doing something wrong.”

“I.... I’m not. I just....”

“Rookie...” Ethan said leaning forward, his tone softening for a moment as he took her hand and she flinched. “Are you scared of me?”

“What?! No! Of course I’m not! I’m just... I made you angry. You should be correcting me and then telling me to leave. Why are you letting me explain myself?”

“Because that’s what happens. You clearly made a mistake. Besides, I was only angry at you for a moment.”

“Oh.”

Casey finally looked back up into his eyes and she saw it. Her desire for him matched in his darkened blue eyes as he licked his bottom lip, eyes slowly moving to look at her lips. They leaned into each other over the desk, Ethan stopping inches from Casey’s mouth.

“This is why I shut the blinds and locked the door.” He said smugly before bringing they lips together softly. “We wouldn’t want anyone to see me do this would we?” he whispered, breaking the kiss and swiping all his papers to the floor, turning Casey’s back to him and gently pulling her across the desk, spinning her around to face him, standing between her legs.

“Ethan... we’re at work. Are you crazy?” Casey asked

“Maybe. Maybe not. Or maybe, you’re the crazy one for trying to stop this.” He husked, sliding his hand up Casey’s thigh and under her skirt. Her eyes closed slowly, and mouth partly slightly as she let out a hitched breath.

“You infuriate me Dr. Valentine.” Ethan said into her ear lowly, a small growl at the back of his throat as he squeezed her hip

“Ethan..” she said breathlessly.

“Shhhhhh.”

Ethan brought his lips to the crook of her neck, kissing sweetly at first and Casey tangled her fingers in his dark auburn locks. His kisses grew hungrier as he travelled up to her earlobe, gently sucking and nibbling at the skin. The contact was leaving Casey breathless, and she inhaled sharply as he nibbled her earlobe before pulling back, slowly opening his eyes and looking at her with nothing but desire. He moved his hand to his top draw, gaze never leaving the flustered sight in front of him, and a small smirk grew on his face his hand came into contact with the cool metal of the object he’d placed in there just before he summoned Casey to the office. Casey gulped as she hear the jingle of the metal as he moved it from the draw to the desk next to her.

“Y-you brought them to- to w-work” she asked. But was met with his silent mirk as he slid her white coat from her shoulders before turning his attention back to assaulting her lips with his own and discarding his own white coat on the floor, loosening his tie and unbuttoning his shirt. The kiss was fervent, full of lust and need. Yet, Casey caught the undertone of love and care it also carried. Ethan pulled her to her feet, breaking the kiss.

“Strip for me.”

“Yes, Dr. Ramsey.”

“You’re playing a dangerous game by calling me that in such a situation, Valentine.”

“That’s a bold statement considering our current situation.”

Ethan smirked at her spoken remark hearing the lust and want laced in her voice. The air crackled with a passionate electricity as they’re lips assaulted each other’s and clothes were thrown carelessly around the office. Ethan stopped mid assault on Casey’s chest, looking up at her with a devilish smirk that caused her to bite her lip and watch with anticipation as Ethan stood up, his now fully hardened length straining against his boxers. Casey bit her lip, enjoying the sight in front of her, eyes widening as she hear Ethan pick up the cuffs before turning back to her with a smirk.

“W-What are you going to- to do?”

“Hands above your head princess. I intend on taking you on a wild ride.”

Gulping Casey done as asked, watch as Ethan hovered over her.

“I’m very disappointed in you.” He husked in her ear, sending electric shivers down her spine. “Not only did you not do the task I asked, you disobeyed my request. This..” He said, snapping the waistband of her panties against her hip sending a jolt of pleasurable pain through her. “... is not the set I asked you to wear. Is it?” He challenged as he brought his gaze to her eyes, soft but calloused hand grazing her side before circling her aroused and sensitive bud with his index finger before toying with it between finger and thumb. Casey gasped at the sudden contact, whimpering when she felt the warm roughness of his tongue glide over the other.

“Ethan..” she breathed out, pulling on her restraint. “I want to... touch... you.”

“You should have thought about that before disobeying me.” He teased, leaving a trail of hot, wet kiss down the body before turning his attention to her inner thighs. Above her head, Casey wrapped her fists around the metal leg of the desk, her breath now rapid with anticipation as Ethan kisses everywhere except where she needed him the most.

“P-Please...”

Ethan smirked against her skin, he liked having her like this. Begging for mercy during punishment after disobeying him. It was one of his biggest turn-ons, though he would never let anyone in on that secret. It was purely his own. Hooking his thumbs under the sides of her panties he pulled them down as he kissed back down her inner thighs, leaving small purple bruises behind.

“Ah, Ethan. Please..” she whimpered as the cool air hit the dampened area between her legs. Upon seeing the sight, Ethan licked his lips hungrily, reaching out and running a single digit between her slick folds.

“Mmmm. Look how wet you are...”

“It’s.. all.. for you.”

“I should hope so.” He smirked as he positioned himself between her legs, kissing up her inner thighs again, slowly before teasingly swiping his tongue over her most sensitive area. The place she needed him most.

“Fuck.” whimpered Casey, her hips bucking up to meet his mouth. He hummed softly as he devoured her, pinning her down with his left arm as he brought the middle finger of his right hand to her entrance, circling it teasingly as she writhed and whimpered above him.

“mmm, fuck. ... eth-ethaaaahhh.” She hissed as he pushed his finger in slowly, pumping it and building up a quickened pace, swirling his tongue around her arousal. Ethan worked his tongue around her clit until he knew she was about to climax and then stopped pulling away. Casey whimpered as she slowly opened her eyes, finding Ethan looking down at her with a triumphant smirk, before kissing her passionately. She retuned the kiss with fervor, Ethan moaning as his still clothed erection brushed lightly against her hipbone. He lightly bit Casey’s bottom lip as he pulled away breathing in deeply, standing to remove his underwear and gasping when his erection sprung free. Casey breath hitched as she stared at the sight before her.

“Like what you see baby?” Ethan asked with a smirk as he lowered himself back to the ground.

“C-can you let me.. out?” Casey asked pulling on the cuffs. Ethan flitted his gaze up to the cuffs wrapped round the leg of his desk, then beck to Casey as he shook his head, spinning round and positioning himself over her mouth. She puckered her lips, lifting her head slightly and kissed the tip, making Ethan shudder with pleasure.

“Ohhhhh.”

“Did you like that..... Detective?”

Ethan close his eyes, breathing out heavily as he silently cursed to himself. “Open your mouth.” He demanded

“Why?”

“I want you to show me what that pretty little mouth can do with no hands.”

Casey smirked, slowly opening her mouth and lifting her head, taking him in inch by inch until she starts to gently bob her head. Ethan groaning pleasurably above her, keeping his plank position proved a challenge as Casey started deepthroating him.

“Ah, shit... Casey.” Weakness overtook his muscles as she hummed each time he hit the back of her throat. “Ah, fuck. Stop! Stop.” He said breathlessly, pulling out of her mouth and spinning to undo the handcuffs. He pulled Casey to her feet, kissing her with urgency, grabbing he butt in his hands as she jumped wrapping her legs around his waist. He carried he to his desk and laid her down. Casey gasped as the cold mahogany came into contact with her back, her eyes widening as she spot the whip hanging out of Ethan’s open bag by his chair.

“Ethan? Why do you h-have a whi-whip?”

“Precautionary. Disobey me again, and well.. .I think you know where this will go.” He growled in her ear lowly.

Many minutes which felt like hours later, Ethan surrendered begging for Casey.

“Fuck. Spread your legs for me. Now.” He urged as he blindly reached for his pocket, pulling out a condom. Casey waited in anticipation, her back flat on his desk as she watch him slide the protection over his rock solid manhood. Without warning, after positioning himself, Ethan slammed into Casey making her cry out in pleasure.

“Shhhh.” He warned bringing a finger to her lips, which she took between her teeth as she nodded. Slowly, Ethan started to thrust, and Casey whimpered quietly as he picked up his pace.

“fuck. me. harder.” She whispered in his ear, gasping as he almost immediately fulfilled her request cause her stomach to form that familiar knotting sensation as she felt Ethan start to twitch inside of her. Their breath was ragged as the whispered each other name in ecstasy as they climaxed together.

A few moments passed in a blissful silence as the two caught their breath, before Casey sat up looking Ethan in the eyes. The were now as clear as the Caribbean Sea again and he smiled, forehead still clammy with sweat.

“I didn’t think you had it in you.” Casey teased as she looked around the room, then got up to start collecting her clothes.

“What?” he asked as he removed the condom, putting in a small black bag and the discarding it in the trash.

“Hooking up with me at work. Let alone in this office.”

Ethan chuckled as he began getting re-dressed too. He had just draped his tie round his neck when there was a knock at the door.

“Hello? Ethan? It’s Baz!”

Casey’s eyes widened as she pointed to their heads. Both of them still had sex hair. Ethan shrugged.

“He’s doesn’t know anyone’s here.” He whispered in Casey’s ear. “Now, care to help me with my tie?” he said, cocking an eyebrow at her.

...

#ns*fw #choices stories you play #playchoices #pixelberry studios #open heart #open heart: second year #ethan ramsey #casey valentine #dr ethan ramsey #dr casey valentine #dr ramsey x dr valentine #open heart fanfiction #ethan ramsey fanfiction #choices fanfiction #ethan x f!mc #ethan x casey

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optimist-pine · 4 years

Text

It’s Complicated: Part 3 || Leonardo

Pairing: 2012 Leo x Reader

Word Count: 1,649

Warnings: Mature themes throughout

You hold your breath each time Raph helps you jump down another step. The wooden planks below you creak as you draw nearer to the bottom of the staircase, Donnie and April waiting to get you situated comfortably in the living room.

"What were you thinking?" April asks. Her hands rest on her hips, and the way she speaks makes you feel like you're being scolded by your mother.

If she was going to treat you like a rebellious teenager... you simply shrug in response.

"You're the one I thought I didn't have to keep my eye on." She sighs, making her way out of the room as Raph and Donnie help you get seated.

You notice Leo looming in the background, his eyes flitting away as if he had been watching your conversation.

"Yeah, well..." You inhale sharply as Donnie sends a shock of pain up your leg. "Apparently drunk me made some stupid decisions." You mumble. Your eyes flick back over to Leo when you realize how that must have sounded, but his back is facing you and he gives no sign of having heard.

"You're lucky you didn't break anything." He finishes wrapping your ankle, covering the purple and blue skin hidden beneath. "Don't walk on it at all for the next couple of weeks at least. It'll be best if you keep it propped up and move as little as possible, and put fresh ice on it every hour or so."

You groan. "Thanks, Don." You give him the most sincere smile you can muster. This isn't the first time he's helped you out, and it's far from the last.

He chuckles. "Just try not to get hurt so often? I'm already patching those clowns up constantly..." He says gesturing to his brothers and Casey.

Yeah," you nod, "I'll try."

"Do or do not, there is no try." Mikey's voice wafts over from somewhere behind you.

"Right, Mikey is." Casey chimes in, leaning over the back of your chair, dangling a banana in front of you.

You take the fruit before bonking him in the head with it. "Don't act like you two don't constantly crash and burn." You smirk.

"Hey!" Casey reaches out for the banana but you manage to pull it out of his reach just in time.

"Play nice, children." Raph nags with a mouth full of cereal.

Casey gives up on trying to nab the fruit. "Like you can say anything, Mr. I'll put my fist through anything."

"Yeah, and that includes your face so you better shut it." Raph says, waving his spoon around to emphasize his point.

You snicker at Mikey egging the other two on in the background. "Well he wasn't wrong, was he?" You add with a mouth full of banana. After everything that had happened in the last 24 hours you were savoring every moment of normalcy... including a little bit of friendly bickering.

"You too, buttercup." Raph smirks, even though you know he has no intentions to do anything besides finishing his bowl of cereal.

You snuggle down into the chair. "Hey now, I'm already injured over here. You can't touch me."

Raph straightens up. "Oh, really?" He asks, making his way around the couch towards you.

Before he can get there though, he crashes to the floor, cereal spraying across his face and onto the floor. You can see an ornery glint in Leo's eye, but when he looks at you it disappears. He gets up and leaves the room without saying a word to anyone.

"LEO!" Raph grumbles, continuing to lie in the mess for a moment more, while the others have a good laugh at his expense.

If you could chase Leo down you would. But on the other hand, what would you say anyways?

---

The others all got going on their chores or training, whatever they had planned for the day, while you stayed put, a stack of novels, puzzle books, and an ancient MP3 player to keep you company. During the day everyone besides Leo had stopped by to change the ice, grab you a snack, or help you to the restroom but it had been a full hour since you had heard anyone inside the house. The ice packs were soggy and warm, and your stomach was starting to grumble incessantly. You had been listening intently for any sound of footsteps, but the only noises you could hear came from your own sighs.

You halted scribbling on your puzzle for a moment, hearing the back door creak open and shut again.

"Could you grab me some more ice please?" You ask just loud enough that whoever it was would be able to hear without feeling like you were yelling at them.

The footsteps back-track towards the kitchen where you hear some rustling around in the freezer and then the fridge, and finally open the cookie jar on the counter. Cookies were reserved specifically for dessert after dinner so you figure it's probably Mikey stealing a pre-dinner snack.

"Thanks, Mike-" You start to greet as he walks into the room, but you realize you've got the wrong turtle."- Oh."

Leo sets down a glass of water and a couple of chocolate chip cookies on the table beside you, moving to change out your ice packs.

"Thanks." You say quietly. You can feel yourself stiffen up as he goes to work on your leg.

He pauses, his eyes meeting yours for a moment before he resumes, the fresh cold of the new ice packs numbing your skin. "You up to finishing that conversation?" He asks.

---

Leo thinks he may be more terrified to face you than he was to face the Shredder. He's good at narrowing down his enemies and seeking out his target. Finishing the fight. But this isn't a battle; there is no winner.

This isn't something he can predict with strategy, because feelings are never predictable. He can't even begin to guess what's going on inside your mind besides what you've told him already. What he's heard you say aloud. You never wanted this. Never wanted it to happen to him. That it was a stupid decision. That last one you didn't say to his face, but he assumed it applied too.

But he wanted to fix things. You meant too much to him to see you look at himself with such raw pain and confusion. He wanted you to crack some ridiculous dad joke that would make everyone groan, but he would know you only intended it for him. He wanted you to run and jump into his arms, making him drop whatever he was holding already as laughter bubbled up your throat. He wanted you to sit and meditate with him because you're the only one he could focus with.

You've ruined it. Your friendship.

He missed training with you. He had taught you how to fight from the start and you had gotten fairly good fairly quickly. The two of you would banter back and forth, your teasing tone ringing in his ears, and as soon as he would take you down your face would light up like you wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

But right now... Right now you looked like you'd rather be anywhere else. Not even when you first met had you seemed so uncomfortable around him, and it broke his heart.

---

The sooner you get this over with, the sooner you can get past it.

You nod before realizing he isn't looking at you. "Uh, yeah." You manage to stammer out, grabbing the glass of water to take a swig and momentarily distract yourself from the entire situation.

He gets up to return the warm packs to the freezer before settling down uneasily on the couch. It doesn't seem like either of you know where to even begin so you pass him one of the cookies, making his brow crease momentarily.

"Peace offering?" You question, picking up your own to nibble on. You watch him take a small bite before he appears to steel his nerves and look you in the eye.

"You still don't remember anything?" His eyes are wide, and you notice that he's tapping his heel.

Despite the overwhelming awkwardness you try to remind yourself that this is Leo, maybe the person you are closest to on the entire planet. You care too much about him to let this get between you, even if it's difficult. You take a deep breath. "The last thing I remember is talking to you about... Well I'm not sure what we were talking about but we were sitting on the couch... Or maybe your bed? I'm not really sure... After that, just waking up in your room..." You can feel your cheeks start to heat up so you drain half your water glass in one go.

"I remember kissing you." He blurts. I'm not sure where or what happened before or after... but I remembered it this morning." His green cheeks are tinged with a bit of pink themselves.

Your stomach starts to flip a little. "Yeah but... we... we did more than that... " You try to swallow but it's getting caught in your throat.

"Yeah..." Leo replies, setting his barely-eaten cookie back on the table.

Yours falls to the floor but it barely registers. "Yeah..." The only thing you can focus on is your leg, bandaged and swollen. The tension in the room presses upon your lungs, and your fingers tap the arm of the chair in random jolts.

"Do you think we've messed this up? Being friends?" Leo asks you, the beginnings of tears in his eyes. You hate seeing him like this, especially when you're the reason for his pain.

"I'm not sure." Your own eyes have sent wet tracks down your cheeks now. "I don't want it to."

"Me neither." He states softly, and you release a breath you didn't realize you were holding.

"If it had to be anyone... I'm glad it was you. I hope that's not the wrong thing to say, but it's true..." You say.

If it had to be anyone he thinks... "Me too."

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damienthepious · 4 years

Text

oh, well, this is unexpected. Not a tuesday offering because... well, it’s not about that. Casey, Sky, & Ria, y’all are. partially responsible for this one. i love you sorry for the angst.

Mirrors Keep Our Reflections

[ao3]

Fandom: The Penumbra Podcast

Relationship: n/a

Characters: Sir Damien, Sir Damien’s Father, Original Male Character

Additional Tags: Second Citadel, (as usual i do not know how to tag), Damien's family, (i am mildly unpacking damien's father), (also i have given the boy a sibling), (whom i love now), (and... whooops.... uh), Implied/Referenced Character Death, (at least twice over actually), Loss of Parent(s), Family Dynamics, Siblings, Grief/Mourning, Angst

Summary: If there had been a third child, he would have been named Ferdinand.

Notes: Whoops. Context: there's a patreon bonus guide to the second citadel thing that talks about names and naming in the 'verse, and apparently it is very common for children to pick a new name for themselves. Combine this with certain headcanons I have about Damien's family and you get.... a mess. Title from Domino by Squalloscope.

It is a cruel anniversary for all three of them. Aaron is unsure what their father thinks Damien will accomplish in his studies today, but neither of them argue when they are each assigned their tasks before their father locks himself away again with his holy texts.

Aaron is unsure as well, if their father is mourning, in this way, or if there is some other answer he seeks in the words of the Saints. It doesn't particularly matter, he decides, if it means that he and Damien will be left to mourn on their own, in peace.

When Damien's shoulders sag over his own reading, when he rubs at his eyes, Aaron steps up beside him, reaches forward, and closes his book.

"Aaron-"

"Come down by the pond with me."

"But father said-"

"A few minutes, Damien. Clear your head, give your poor scholarly eyes a rest, inhale some air that isn't half composed of dust."

His brother glances back down to the closed book again, guilty and reluctant, and then he scoots his stool back. "… Alright. Only for a little while."

The walk is short, and though the day is oppressively hot, the shade and the breeze are cool enough to guard them from the worst of it by the water's edge. Damien settles on the moss with a sigh, and he closes his eyes for a long moment as Aaron stares out over the glassy surface of the pond, watching the lines rippling out behind the family of geese on the far side.

"Do you… remember much about her?" Damien asks, after what seems like quite some time. His voice is very quiet, and when Aaron blinks and glances towards him, Damien still has his eyes closed, though his expression is tight and anxious.

After a long moment, Aaron sinks to sit beside his brother. "… less than I once did," he admits, and Damien opens his eyes so that he may watch Aaron's face instead. "Less than I wish I did. Memory is an unreliable creature. If you look away from it for too long, it will transform, or decay. I remember… I remember that she had clever eyes, a rare smile but easy humor… I do remember that she enjoyed mornings just the same as you, Damien."

Damien's smile is noticeably watery, but it is genuine. "Did she shove you from bed as I do?"

"When I needed a good shoving," Aaron grins, "yes."

"I wish-"

Damien's words come too fast. Too abrupt, and they cut off into the silence of the thrumming hot day just as quickly.

"I know," Aaron says, when the silence has drawn long. "I wish too. I miss her, and… and I miss the man that father was, when she was still here."

"Was he… was he-"

"He was still himself," Aaron says gently. "But- happier. Less unyielding."

"I think… I cannot help but think, how it could have been, if-" he inhales sharply, his brow furrowing. "The four of us, together. Or- the five, I expect."

"Five- ah." Aaron presses his lips together for a moment. "Right."

Aaron, and Damien, and-

Their parents would not have named them as they did, of course, if they were not anticipating a third with which to complete their reverent set.

"Another brother," Damien says, both sad and wondering. "We could have had another… another piece to our family. Some brave little boy we never had the chance to know-"

"You cannot know what another child would have been like, Damien. Simply because father would have named him Ferdinand does not mean anything about who he would have been. Or she, for that matter. A name such as that…"

"A name such as ours?" Damien asks, one eyebrow raised and his lips pursed into a pout.

Aaron eyes his brother in return, considering, and then he nods. "A name such as ours. The more I think on it, the more I know that it is a wretched thing to do. If we had another brother, if they named him as they clearly planned- likely he would toss the name on the next fire as soon as he was old enough to choose one for himself. Saints know how often I've been tempted to do the same."

"You- you have?" Damien asks, obviously incredulous, his eyes wide, and Aaron attempts to keep his expression only wry.

"It's only... it's quite a lot for any child to live up to," he says. "You understand that, don't you?"

"I... I suppose so... but- but you do live up to your namesake! You are steadfast, sturdy-"

"Damien-"

"Resolute! And if you can live up to your name, certainly if I work hard enough, study long enough-"

"You shouldn't have to, Damien. Neither should I. No child should. If we had another in our family, it would be kinder to leave them free of such a weight.

Damien frowns, a delicate web of incomprehension. "Are you... are you going to change yours, then?"

Aaron looks aside, sighs. "I haven't decided. It's... it is a heavy weight, but... it means so much to him."

And their father's good humor is the unsteady framework upon which their home is built.

"... what... what would you even change it to, if you did?"

"I could change it to Damien, simply to annoy you," Aaron says with his wide, easy grin.

"Aaron. I am being serious."

Aaron laughs. "I could simply change it to Ferdinand myself, and then you could take a turn as the elder brother."

Damien huffs. "That," he says stiffly, "is not how that works. And besides- if you were Ferdinand, that certainly would not solve your problem. Your very first point was that bravery would be an equally heavy burden."

"That is true," Aaron says with a sigh. "So. Not another Saint name, then."

"Obviously not," Damien agrees. "That would limit you quite severely." He pauses, his uncertainty so poorly concealed that Aaron can't help but smile again. "Did... clearly you have put some thought into this... did you have any potential names in mind? Any that were not in jest?"

"Any..." Aaron echoes. "I suppose that is just the issue," he says slowly. "If I were not Aaron, I could be anyone."

"But were there any anyones in particular," Damien insists. "Come now, I don't think you would have brought it up had you nothing already in mind!"

"Perhaps I had some trouble, summoning potential names to my own mind. Perhaps I was far more curious to hear your suggestions," he says, tilting his head with a grin. "You are much quicker with this sort of game than I, after all.

"Oh!" Damien clasps his hands together, grinning, and then he schools his expression, his brow furrowing as he considers this task for a long moment. "You could be... hm, perhaps Lucan? No- Rience! Or perhaps Owain, or Claudas, or Balan-"

"Evaine is rather elegant," Aaron murmurs, and his face is very still as he watches the equally still water.

Damien pauses. "Wh-what was that?"

Aaron says nothing for a long moment, and then he stands, his easy smile spread across his face again. "It's past time we returned you to your studies, I think."

"But-"

"I will thank you for indulging me, and beg your pardon for distracting you for quite so long," he says. "But we should... we should return to where we belong, Damien."

Damien stares up at him, still unsure for a strange, stretched-out moment, and then he reaches a hand out so Aaron may help pull him back to his feet.

They do not speak, on the walk back to their home. They do not speak of names ever again.

They do not see another cruel anniversary together.

If there had been a third child, he would have been named Ferdinand. Unlike his namesake, Damien who will be Pious has only one brother, and his name was only ever Aaron.

After Aaron dies, Damien's father mourns this newest cruelty by packing up what remains of their lives and taking young Damien to the realm where death looms the closest. He takes them to the Western Wastes, the woods of death themselves, and there Damien's father proselytizes. The names of the Saints on his tongue, surrounded by death and nonbelievers. Their names, again and again, and echoed in and echoing his family, in his son who never was, in his son who no longer is, in his son who is not enough.

When Damien is old enough to choose his own appellation, he thinks of Aaron.

He thought of Aaron in the water, as well. He thinks of Aaron often, though he is discovering to his sorrow that Aaron had been right, about memory, and transformation, and decay. He remembers that easy grin, still, and sturdy embrace, but he has forgotten the precise pattern of his freckles. He has forgotten the name that he whispered like a secret beside the water. He has forgotten moments small, and large, and they have left him so easily that he will not even recognize their lack.

Damien could choose another name, but once beneath the water his namesake reached within him, and helped him breathe.

Damien could choose another name, but once a boy named Aaron had a brother named Damien, and Damien does not wish to be anyone else.

#elle's fanfic #the penumbra podcast #second citadel #sir damien #uhhhhyeah.

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sugarspooks15 · 4 years

Text

When Something Strange Happens 1

Guide: (H/C)= hair color, (Y/N)= your name, (N/N)= nick name, (F/A)= favorite animal, (A/N/N)= animal nick name

sorry if there are some errors in this I originally wrote this using one of my ocs

I woke up as the sun shown into my cave. I felt weird after finding and eating that weird glowing ooze the night before. I looked at my paws that were now hands with claws for nails.

“What the heck” I said noticing that I could speak English. After calming myself down I gave myself a once over to find that I could walk on two legs, I had a flat face, I still had my tail, I had long (H/C) that was on my head and went down my shoulders, and I had Indian war paint and cloths. I shook off the weird feeling of my new appearance and went out for a hunt. That's when I saw a human sized turtle, but he did not see me. I stalked him then found the perfect spot to attack him and I did.

“Hey dude dudette calm down.” he said to me. I sniffed him finding both the scents of a turtle and a human.

“Mikey were are you”, a very irritated male voice said. The voice sounded close so I forgot about my breakfast and took off into the woods. The turtle that I had pinned down had some sort of chain that he rapped around me causing me to fall back when I ran. I turned and looked at him both mad and surprised by his actions.

“Over here Raph”, he called to the unknown male. Another mutant turtle with a red bandanna instead of a orange one came up, his face displayed a not so pleased look. I growl in his direction smelling a mad grizzly bear. He looked at me before taking out he weapons.

“ What is up with you (A/N/N)”, Mikey asked me. I did not reply but instead I prepared for the bear to come crashing thought the brush behind the other turtle. The bear came charging through the brush as I had predicted, and it trampled over the turtle in front and headed for Mikey. I was not quick enough so Mikey took a bad blow to his chest and blacked out. I rid myself of the chains, jumped on the bears back, and snapped its head. It dropped dead to the ground as I jumped off and race to keep Mikey from bleeding to death. The blow had caused a 4 inch cut straight though his front shell.

I carefully carried him to the river and removed his bandanna and other wrappings he had on his body before moving him into the river so that he would stay cool. I placed him on a cluster of rocks that the water was flowing over before moving the other turtle that I have yet to know his name to the rivers edge. He had gotten a few bruises, but he was ok. I ran around the forest finding the ingredients I needed for an old healing paste for Mikey. I head back to the river to find both of them still out thank god.

I waded into the river to were Mikey was with the paste and some bandages in hand. Just as I was about to put the paste on him the other turtle woke up, grabbed his weapon, waded into the river, and pointed his weapons to my throat.

I looked up and said, “Do you want him to die or do you want me to save him” he looked at me then he looked at the large cut on Mikey's chest.

“What can I do to help?” he asked me.

“First your name then you can start by holding his head up above the water and wet his face every once and a while with this rag while I clean and dress his wound.” I said sternly to him before going back to Mikey.

“Raphael or Raph is my name and ok” he answered after a bit. I did not look up at him as he took Mikey's head from my hands, so I could take care of his wound. I smeared the paste on to the wound and added the bandages around it. I turned around to see Raph looking at me.

“There now I just need the cloths he was wearing and I will be done, and stop staring at me.” I said causing him to blush.

“I..I..wasn't staring.” he stuttered before heading back to the bank to retrieve the cloths. After we dressed him, I followed him to a farm house that was built in a clearing.

“Leo, Donnie, April, Casey any body there” he called as we came up to the house. A red headed girl that I think was April came out of the house before going back in and coming out again with two turtles and a black haired boy.

“Raph what happened.” the one with the blue mask asked. I sat Mikey down when I heard his heart rate start to rise like he was trying to wake up. I looked at him while the others talked among-est themselves.

“What up (A/N/N)” Mikey joked when his eyes opened to find me looking at him.

“Hey Mikey.” I said quietly to him.

I smiled at him before turning around and saying, “Hey look who is up.” I turned to see the others looking in my direction. Raph came running to my side to see his brother finally awake.

“I've got to go. I'm sorry I couldn't have stayed longer but I have things to do.” I said getting up and walking off well I more like limped off do to the fact that the bear had clawed me in the stomach. My vision got blurry as I walked and before I new it I fell back to be caught in the strong arms of Raph.

“Right like you are going any were.” he bossed before picking me up bridle stile and carrying me into the farm house. He lay ed me down on the floor and let another turtle with a purple mask look at me. I let out a warning growl telling him to back off.

“What is up with her?” he asked the others.

“I just saved your life turtle. If you had touched my wound while it is healing you would have died.” I told him and the others.

“What you have healing powers?” the purple masked one asked. I nodded my head before inhaling sharply feeling the cut mend itself together. They did not understand why I did so until they saw my cut healing itself.

“You have healing powers?!” the purple masked one asked over excitedly again. I shook my head at him like he was crazy. I looked at my wound that was now completely healed then stood up.

“I've got to go”, I said before trying to head for the door only for Raph to stop me.

“ Get out of my way please” I said looking him dead in the eyes. He did not move which make me iterated for a minute before I got a sharp headache knowing that one of my friends, Bigfoot, was in trouble. I ran past him and out into the forest looking for Bigfoot.

“Hey were are you going!” Raph yelled as he and his brothers, except for Leo and Mikey, April and Casey chased after her.

“Bigfoot, Bigfoot, Bigfoot were are you!” I screamed after my friend to hear a low gurgle in one of the bushes.

“Bigfoot?” I questioned pushing back the brush to find her curled up shaking in fear. I extended my hand that she grabbed and we took off running.

“Go! I got this.” I said to my friend after looking behind us to find the guy that was hunting her. I got in a fighting stance as he came up to me. I growled at him as he stopped and looked at me.

“Well Mama looks like Bigfoot has a friend.” he said seemingly talking to the small head around his neck.

“Hey (F/A) chick were are you?” I heard Raph and I decided I would need some help. I took off in the direction of Raph's sent with the hunter on my heals. I ran into Raph causing him to fall with me on top of him.

He began to blush before I said, “No time to finish this there is a hunter on my tail.” He shook his head as we got up and his face became sturn. That's when it hit me I had said there was no time to finish this as in kiss him. OH MY GOD I JUST SAID THAT!!!!!!! I screamed in my mind, but some how I did not regret saying it. Raph and I stood in fighting stances as the hunter came up to us. After sometime the hunter gave up and I collapsed into Raph's arms from exhaustion.

“Hey you ok?” he asked concerned.

“Well yes and no. One I did not have any food this morning. Two I was attacked by mutant turtles, a mad bear, and a crazy hunter. Three I just attacked the crazy hunter, so what do you think.” I said sarcastically.

He smiled before saying, “That makes since.”

I smiled back before saying, “I think I made a promise to you.” He looked at me confused before my lips crashed into his. After he got over his shock, he deepened the kiss. My claws made almost unnoticeable claw marks in the back of his shell that where shaped like fingers. We only broke apart because we had to breath.

“You still haven't told me your name.” he said trying to catch his breath.

“It's (Y/N) but you can call me (N/N).” I said looking up to him.

“I will call you (N/N). My (F/A) chick.” he said with a smirk.

“Alright Hot Head, what ever you say, but I have to go home. If you need me just whisper my name and I will come find you.” I said getting a head nod from him. What I did not know is that the Krang had planted that mutagen and wanted me to have a baby with one of the turtles, and it did not matter which one as long as I had one of their children.

#tmnt #tmnt 2012 #raph x reader

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majesticmarais · 6 years

Text

Hoodie | J.A

Requested by anon

Summary: Y/n runs into her ex boyfriend at one of her concerts after he has moved on

Warnings? Swearing probably idk

Word Count: 1.9k

Tags: @averysgarl @averyonelovesjack @adorkableavery @heyowdw @lovablebesson @lovableherron @ijustreallylovethem @ishouldtakeyoutothemoon @jackaverysboo @jjeepersnutss @angelseavey @jonahmaraismakesmyday @dailydoseofherron (I always forget who’s on the tag list I APOLOGIZE)

A/n: It’s been sooooo long since I’ve posted an imagine! School is over so I’m hoping to get a bunch out soon! Enjoy my loves, hope you like it. I just used the same names of the girls in Hey Violet because yeah idk

You stepped off the tour bus, feet hitting the pavement of a new city as you turned around to look at your band mates, smiles spread across all of your faces.

“You ready for the first show?” Nia asked enthusiastically, slinging her arm loosely over your shoulder as you both walked into the backstage area of the venue, eyes exploring curiously around the room.

“Super excited,” you nodded, plopping down onto one of the sofas, pulling your phone out as you waited for everyone else to come in before starting sound check.

As you scrolled through instagram quickly, your finger stopped on the screen before scrolling back up, looking at a picture of Jack with his new girlfriend, Gabbie. You felt a pang in your heart but couldn’t take your eyes off the picture, Nia finally breaking you from your thoughts.

“New girl?” she asked, resting her head against your shoulder as she joined you in examining the picture on the screen.

“Yeah,” you sighed, “she’s really pretty. Seems sweet I guess.”

“I’m sorry hunny. I know this has all been so hard for you,” she cooed as she ran her hand comfortingly up and down your arm.

“I just want to be happy for him. I don’t want to miss him anymore and feel my heart sink whenever I see him,” you explained, your voice cracking slightly as you spoke about it.

“It was a bad breakup, Y/n, it’s okay to feel the way that you do. It will get easier though. Besides, he’s the one missing out on one of the best gals I know,” she smiled, running her hand through your hair quickly before flashing you a supportive smile.

“I love you, Nia, you’re the best,” you grinned, giving her a tight hug as you took in a sharp breath, mentally telling yourself to stop thinking about Jack and keep your composure.

Jack’s Pov

“Hey Jack, did you see that Y/n’s band is performing tonight?” Zach asked as he walked into the room, hopping up onto the marble counter top as his eyes left his phone screen.

“Really?” I asked, the mention of her name feeling slightly heavy on my heart.

“Yeah, start of their tour,” Zach confirmed.

“Should we go?” I asked him.

“If you want to, man, I know that might be a bit hard for you,” Zach replied.

“I’ve been meaning to see how she’s doing actually. I still feel so terrible for what happened. It should have ended differently,” I muttered, unlocking my phone to look at her instagram myself.

“What about Gabbie?” Zach inquired, hopping off the counter to come sit next to me on the couch.

“I guess she can come, I don’t think she would want to though. I just want to see how she’s doing,” I shrugged, trying to act nonchalant over the whole thing, but my mind was filled with a wide range of emotions.

“Do you still miss her?” Zach asked, “Y/n I mean.”

“Sometimes I do, yeah. Gabbie makes me happy though, I know it was the right thing.”

Y/n’s Pov

I sat on the tour bus for a few moments, to be alone. I had rushed back to grab my makeup brushes, but found the silence almost comforting, and unfamiliar. I ran my hands along the edge of my suitcase, unzipping it quickly.

Jack’s hoodie that he gave me lay perfectly folded on the top of the pile. I took it into my hands, my fingers toying with the broken zipper. God, he would probably think I was crazy if he knew I still had this.

I pulled it over my head, the smell of his cologne still lingering on it, the soft fabric feeling warm over my shoulders.

“You’re crazy, Y/n,” I sighed to myself.

Putting it on made me feel closer to the only part of Jack I still had. He was gone, he left, and he took everything with him.

I felt tears begin to sting my eyes as I put the string into my mouth for a few seconds before letting it drop. I don’t know why I did this to myself. The smell and the hoodie just made me feel sad, and miss Jack and everything we had, but I couldn’t stop myself either.

I checked the time on my phone, realizing I should probably get back with the band to go on stage.

I left the comfortable silence of the warm tour bus and walked back into the venue, Jack’s hoodie still perfectly hanging on my body.

“You guys are on in 5!” our manager called as he peeked his head into our dressing room.

We all stood up quickly as we fixed our clothes and gathered our things as fast as possible before rushing side stage to get ready to start the show.

I pulled the sleeves of the hoodie over my hands, the mic clutched in my right hand as I inhaled the smell of Jack’s memory once again before running on stage, the opening melody of our song, Hoodie, beginning to play.

Jack’s Pov

I stood in the crowd, almost at the front. Screams and cheers filled my ears as the lights turned off, the silhouettes of the band jogging onto the stage.

The lights turned on, Y/n’s voice filling the venue as she smiled out towards the crowd.

“Is that...” Zach started from beside me.

“My hoodie, yeah,” I nodded, my eyes not leaving her.

“Slip it on over my shoulders

Something I'll never get over

It makes me feel a little bit closer to you,” she sang as she danced slightly on the stage, her confidence radiating throughout the entire room.

My eyes followed her as she walked across the stage, seeming happy, seeming okay, even after everything. She seemed better off. Her smile lighting up as she confidently sang better and with more passion than I had ever heard her sing before. After everything that happened, she was thriving, and tears subconsciously sprang to my eyes as my eyes glued to her.

I don’t think she knows I’m here. I don’t know if that makes me relieved, or upset.

Y/n’s Pov

I sang the last note of our final song, the crowd cheering loudly in front of us. I thanked everyone over and over, the smile on my face hurting my cheeks from being so wide.

I turned back to face my bandmates, who were all smiling equally as wide.

We took our bow and ran off side stage, cheering as we all hugged each other tightly.

“First show of the tour was a success!” Casey cheered, punching his fists in the air.

“Now let’s get changed and go eat please,” Nia piped in, making all of us laugh as we pulled apart from each other to walk back to our dressing rooms.

As I walked to the dressing room I noticed a familiar head of curly hair turn the corner, eyes widening when he saw me, his pace speeding up as he approached me. I changed my direction to avoid him, looking down at the ground.

How the hell did he get back here?

Our manager knows him, he probably let him through. Damn it.

“Y/n!” Jack called form behind me, the sound of his footsteps loud behind me. I turned into a room and tried to shut the door but was interjected by Jack’s arm, his breathing slightly heavy as he looked at me.

“What are you doing here?” I asked sharply, sounding more harsh than I intended to come across.

“Your manager let me back here. I wanted to talk to you,” he replied.

Jack’s Pov

“There’s nothing to talk about,” she said, an edge in her tone as she slowly backed further away from me.

“I just wanted to see how you were doing. And I wanted to explain. Was the Hoodie song about me?” I asked.

“Who’s asking?” she asked sarcastically, her arms crossed tightly over her chest, my hoodie reaching her upper thigh.

“Look, Y/n, I know I was stupid and I ended things badly,” I started.

“Why are you saying this right now? You have a girlfriend anyway, what’s done is done,” she cut me off, her eyebrows furrowing.

“I just want to explain,” I sighed.

“I’m listening,” she said, tilting her head to the side as she looked at me, the look in her eyes not the bright one I was used to.

“I know we were great together, I know that. Everything just got too hard. It stopped being easy with you. We were arguing or not seeing each other and it was just all too hard. I loved you, Y/n, I still do, but we just couldn’t keep forcing it if it wasn’t working,” I said, trying to avoid her gaze, yet at the same time feeling compelled to look her in the eyes.

“So you came all the way here just to tell me that? Why, Jack? To keep me on your short leash in case you need me? To make sure I don’t get over you? To make sure it keeps hurting?” she asked sharply, the volume of her voice rising as she took a step closer to me.

Y/n’s Pov

“No, Y/n, that’s not what I’m doing at all. I still care about you, and I feel really bad, I just wanted to see you and tell you,” he answered.

“I could have gone without knowing,” I muttered.

His expression was unreadable, which was rare with Jack. I used to always be able to tell what he was feeling. Used to. Now I had no idea, I just watched him purse his lips together as his gaze lowered.

“I care about you, Y/n. Can we at least try to be friends?” he asked.

I took in a sharp breath, the memories and the heartbreak rushing back all at once as I forced myself to hold back any tears that were threatening to spill over and down my cheeks.

“I can’t, Jack. I’m sorry, but I can’t be around you. It hurts too much, I can’t,” I answered, shaking my head as I pulled the hoodie sleeves further down my arms.

“Well, if you change your mind, you still have my number. You can keep the hoodie too, I don’t need it back,” he replied, his voice lowering.

“Thank you. Good luck with the band, with life and with Gabbie,” I said, trying to force at least a small smile despite what I was feeling.

“Thanks Y/n, you too,” he said. Before I could process it, his arms were wrapped around me. I instinctively wrapped mine around him, pulling him close, a single tear leaving my eye and landing on his shoulder, dampening his shirt.

He pulled away and gave me a weak smile accompanied by a wave as he turned around and walked out of the room.

“I’m sorry again, I really am,” he muttered.

“I’m sorry too,” I said, “bye Jack.”

“Bye Y/n,” he said as he turned around, his footsteps getting fainter as he walked away, turning the corner and disappearing.

“Hey, what happened?” Nia asked as she showed up, her eyebrow raised.

“Nothing, it’s fine,” I said quickly, sniffling as I wiped my eyes quickly, letting out a deep exhale. “Let’s go see the fans.”

As we passed the hallway Jack walked down, part of me was hoping that an any moment he was going to turn around and come back. He never did.

#jack avery #jack avery imagine #jack avery x reader #why dont we #why don't we #whydontwe #why don't we imagine #why dont we imagine #why don't we imagines #wdw #wdw imagine #why dont we fanfic #imagine #jonah marais #corbyn besson #daniel seavey #zach herron #limelight

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spectrumscribe · 7 years

Text

I hear static, I hear you.

https://onthespectrumwriting.tumblr.com/post/156256971508/i-hear-static-i-hear-youAn AU, set directly after The Power Inside Her. Canon divergence from the ending of the episode. AO3 link.

———————————————————-

Part Seven. (Master Post)

April walked through the familiar sewer passages, quietly making her way to a place she felt banished from.

Her boots made slick footsteps, as she descended deeper into the underground her friends called home.

Were they even her friends anymore? Could she really call them that?

Probably not.

Her thick hoodie and jacket kept her warm, but she still felt chilled. Unsettled on an internal level. April felt very, very wrong for doing this. Going back to the home of someone… someone she’d killed.

Even if she’d been called there, it still felt like she wasn’t supposed to return to the lair.

As April entered one of the deepest tunnels, finding her way into the one that would lead to the lair, she felt the clear absence of her tessen and tanto blade. After she’d been gifted with each, she never went out at night without at least one of them, if not both.

She hadn’t touched either of her weapons in weeks. The first night after, she’d taken all of the gifts given to her by her second family, and bundled them away. They still sat in her closet, untouched and hidden from sight.

She missed them, and even more so missed the feeling of worth she felt when she held them. That she was a part of something, of a clan, of a family.

She didn’t feel worthy anymore, or like she was a part of something.

April stepped into the lair, pushing through the turnstiles, and ignoring the feeling of disrespect she felt walking into the hidden home. With her hood still low and her steps quiet as possible- April observed the scene she was walking into.

Each member of her former family was scattered around the living room. The way they sat apart, looking distracted and sullen, made the obvious missing piece so much worse.

The first thing April noticed about them all, was just how tired they all seemed. Gaunt somehow, with grief and something else. Something un-nameable, but just as painful.

Raph was the first to spot her.

April watched, as his expression went from tired to furious.

“Oh hell no,” He said, lips curling. Raph stood up slowly, and April could see the coiling anger in his posture. “What is she doing here?”

April tried to shrink further into her coat, a wave of shame going through her.

“I called her,” Leo spoke up, voice calm and even. Raph rounded on him, but Leo met his brother’s glare without flinching. “Sensei and I discussed things, and decided it’d be best to bring her here.”

“Uh, you didn’t think it’d be a good idea to discuss it with me? Or hell, Mikey too?” Raph exclaimed, gesturing sharply at their youngest sibling. “What the fuck- you didn’t tell either of us!”

“Because we knew you’d react like this-”

“Of course I’m gonna react like this, why the fuck-”

“Raphael.”

April’s attention was yanked from the fighting brothers, to their father standing at the edge of the pit. Silence went over the group, as Splinter turned to look at April.

“April, come in. We have much to discuss,” Splinter said, nodding to her. He turned to Raph and Leo, and gave his second son a look. “April has been invited back because of what Donatello said. She is needed here, and you, Raphael, are not going to use that language no matter how angry you are. You know better. April, please take a seat.”

April hesitated, glancing again at Raph. He was darting disbelieving looks between her and his father. Splinter beckoned her again with his hand, and April reluctantly slunk into the lair.

She passed by Casey, who was slouched against the cushions. She didn’t meet his eyes, but she felt the way his gaze followed her quiet steps. April crossed the media pit, and passed by Mikey. His gaze followed her too.

She was almost to the other side, when Raph spoke again.

“No- no! I- she can’t be here! I won’t let her!”

April’s throat closed, and she froze where she stood.

“Raphael-”

“She killed Donnie!”

Grief welled, hot and painful, in April’s chest. Her hands, stuffed into her pockets, balled into fists.

“Hey- hey April, at least have the guts to look at me!”

April couldn’t breathe, as she slowly turned to look at Raph. She swallowed shakily, as she met Raph’s bright and furious glare.

It felt like everyone in the room was holding their breath, no one making a move to break the tension. For a long, horrible moment, April stared into Raph’s eyes, and couldn’t look away.

He looked exhausted- exhausted and desperate.

He looked like he hated her.

April wasn’t surprised, but it hurt regardless.

Leo finally stepped forwards, putting a hand on Raph’s shoulder. “Raph, she has to be here. Donnie asked for her, we need-”

“We don’t need her!” Raph snapped, shoving Leo’s hand off him and jabbing his finger at April. “She’s the reason this happened, and I don’t want her anywhere near us anymore!”

Splinter’s tail rustled his clothes, as he too took a step towards Raph. “I know this is difficult, but you must see reason-”

“YOU SEE REASON!” Raph yelled, making April startle. He took a heavy step towards April, and was only held back by Leo grabbing his arm. “She betrayed us; she doesn’t even deserve to set foot in here. It doesn’t fucking matter if Donnie asked for her, she’s the one who murdered him!”

April flinched back, a sharp stab of emotion going right through her chest.

Leo struggled to keep his grip on Raph, using both hands to hold onto him. “Raph- Raph stop it-”

“I already lost one of my brothers, I- I can’t lose another-!” Raph’s voice broke, and he bared his teeth at April as he glared. “You killed our brother, my little brother-!”

“Raphael-”

“YOU KILLED HIM!” Raph screamed, pulling so hard against Leo that he stumbled. “He was trying to help you and you KILLED HIM. How could you- how can you just stand there like- like you didn’t-”

“Raphael, that is enough,” Splinter said, stepping between his furious son and April.

April closed her eyes, bitter tears clouding them, and heard the choked sounds Raph made. She put a hand over her mouth, stifling her sobs, as she heard Raph’s knees hit the floor.

“She killed him… I can’t… dad, she killed him…”

“I know, I know my son. I’m so sorry, but we have to. She has to be here.”

Hot tears slid out of April’s eyes, and her heart felt like lead.

Raph was right; she didn’t deserve to be here.

She wanted to leave, to slink away and give the mutant family the space they needed to grieve. April wanted to go and hide and possible never come back again. She wanted to- to-

A wave of cold suddenly went through April, and everything in the room stopped. She didn’t need to look; April could already tell that everyone else had also frozen where they stood.

Something moved through the atmosphere of the lair, skirting the edges of April’s senses and power. It felt like water, or maybe air- yet also crackling electricity. Smooth, but also abrasive at the same time.

April couldn’t breathe, the icy tendrils reaching around her and slowly tightening.

The lights of the lair flickered, and the temperature dropped again; turning near freezing.

April couldn’t breathe at all.

“No way, so soon-? It’s only been over a half… hour…”

“My… my son…?”

April slowly raised her head, dropping her hand away from her mouth. Her eyes unwillingly drifted towards the thing in the room- the person in the room- who was causing the cold presence.

April’s heart thudded in her ears, and she felt like something sharp was prickling down her spine.

Cold sweat beaded on the back of her neck, and April’s hood slid away as her knees nearly buckled.

There was no crushing pressure this time- instead, there was a frigid tension, holding everything completely still and soundless.

Standing- no, floating, at the edge of the lair’s entrance, was Donnie.

Mikey couldn’t blink- and didn’t want to.

He slowly uncurled himself, afraid to break the utter quiet that’d descended on his home. He stood slowly, same as the other members of his family. They were all staring at the same thing as him.

He couldn’t talk, could barely think.

Though, one thought did manage to make it through.

He’s not wearing his mask…

Donnie, partially see through and milky eyed, floated five feet in the air; just thirty feet from where Mikey had been sitting on the couch. He was missing his mask.

Donnie tilted his head, and slowly blinked at them all.

Mikey swallowed, and he could feel his hands shaking.

Donnie… Donnie didn’t look right.

His scales were nearly grey, and every few seconds, the edges of his body would blur. Like he was trying to fade, but kept stopping himself.

His eyes- Mikey knew it without knowing why, but Donnie’s eyes weren’t covered by their third eyelid at the moment. He had no pupils, and not because they were hidden. They simply weren’t there.

He looked dead, and Mikey couldn’t form a coherent response to that sight.

Mikey heard April’s sharp inhales, but he didn’t look towards the sound.

He’d looked away last time Donnie appeared for him. He wouldn’t look away this time.

Mikey saw his father move in the corner of his vision, stepping towards Donnie.

“Donatello…” Splinter breathed in a wavering voice.

Donnie blinked again, but didn’t turn towards their father. Then-

He took a step forwards- still in midair- and started towards them all.

Mikey felt his lungs growing tighter as Donnie approached, and his eyes watered from keeping track of his brother’s movements. Donnie’s body blurred worse as he walked through the air, getting closer to the ground with each step.

To Mikey, it seemed almost like Donnie was moving underwater.

His form dragged through the air, leaving something like after images as it did. They trailed Donnie’s silent movements, as he descended into the media pit.

Casey- the one closest to the entrance- stumbled back from Donnie’s chosen path, pale and wide eyed as he grabbed at Raph’s arm for support. Donnie didn’t acknowledge either of them.

Mikey saw his father reach out to Donnie as he neared- saw Splinter’s shaking hand come close to brushing Donnie’s, but-

The split second Splinter made contact, Donnie suddenly flashed across the room.

Mikey’s head whipped around to follow the movement, Donnie’s whole form turning into a streak as he rapidly crossed the floor. Mikey’s eyes barely followed, but he saw his brother reappear fully, right in front of April.

April stared up at Donnie, and Mikey could see her shaking as she did.

A rolling wave of flickers went through the lair, lights dimming and coming back up again. Donnie was still silent, completely intent on April.

Mikey wasn’t sure what to do. They had April- why hadn’t his father and brother told him about her coming why didn’t they tell him or Raph- and now they had Donnie. What was the next step? No one had told him anything, and now he was scrambling to think around his internal storm, trying to figure out what the hell they were supposed to do.

“Donatello,” Splinter started again, though his voice sounded distant somehow. Mikey momentarily glanced away- sorry, Donnie- to look at his father, and saw how Splinter was clutching the hand that had touched Donnie. It seemed to be trembling. “Donatello, we’ve brought April here. Please, tell us how she is meant to help you.”

Mikey’s eyes jumped back to Donnie, who was still staring at April. He hadn’t glanced away, or even acknowledged their father.

Whatever the reptile equivalent to goose-bumps was, Mikey felt them shiver over his scales.

He saw April’s hood had slid away, revealing short choppy hair, as she tried to back away from Donnie. He was floating still, and loomed over April with a sheer, frigid presence.

“Donnie… why did you bring me here?” April asked, voice hoarse and small.

Donnie’s only response was to tilt his head, and Mikey could see enough of his brother’s face, that he caught a momentary flicker of emotion there.

“I… I don’t know what you want me to do,” April said, wide eyes staring down the apparition above her. “None of us knows what you want me here for.”

Something rolled through the air, and Mikey’s hands were on his ears before he realized he’d moved.

High pitched ringing, and something like crackling wires, came from Donnie. It was loud enough that Mikey had to press hard against the sides of his skull to block it out, and Donnie still hadn’t actually opened his mouth. The sounds continued for a few beats, then went silent again.

Donnie still loomed, motionless and emotionless, above April.

Mikey watched, as the person who’d killed his brother- who’d haunted his dreams for over a month now, who still made him wake up shaking and terrified- started to cry.

April’s expression crumbled, and thick tears ran down her cheeks. “I-I can’t understand you, Donnie. I couldn’t understand a-any of that.”

Mikey felt more than saw his other family members start moving in, spotting Splinter and probably Leo in the corners of his vision.

More high pitched sounds, but with different decibels this time; not enough that Mikey had to cover his ears. It was ringing still, but dropping low enough that Mikey could almost hear the individual sounds.

“Wha- what was that? Try it again-”

Garbled sounding voice finally aligned enough- Donnie’s mouth not opening once the whole time- until finally-

y͇̦̞͚̣̠̯o̝̠u̵͖̜͎̦͍̙̭.̪͕̖̟͎͔́.̢͇̰̘͈̹̲.̶̱̣̩̳ ̦̀y͙͎̮͚o͎͇̫͖͔̖u͔͕͈̠̦̻̮ ̳̮͙ͅd҉̤̣͍̙̺i͖̬d͉͉͜ ̝t͕͈̗̗͈̗͓hi̖̲̕s̶͇̗̮̗̤.̠̞̪̞̕.̡.͍̰̳ ͖̻͓a͔͎ͅp̜̜͔͉͕̠̜r͙̳̺̰̞̪i̝͕̹͘l.̰̼͝.̮͇̱̺̲̞ͅ.͎̞̖̘͓͉͙

“I-I know, I know it did. I’m trying to fix it, tell me how though-”

ẁ̫̪͈̭͉͠h̛̜̥͓͎̪̞͈̻̥̀͡y̷̩̟̜̪̹

“What?”

W̡͕̥̮̱͚̖͜H̱̻̪̱͉̠͕Y҉̵͙̹̳͙̹

Mikey’s hands flew over his ears again, as Donnie’s disembodied, static filled voice rang out.

He glanced at April, who was trying to back away again. Her eyes were locked on Donnie, whose body was blurring worse and worse.

“I-I don’t know,” April whispered weakly. “I don’t know why. I didn’t mean to, I swear. It- I couldn’t control-”

L̢͇̟͇͎̤͡I̴̞̣̩̤̻̳̤E̳͕͍̱͜͡S̸҉͎̱͚̟̞̭ ̨̧̨͚͕̪̳͙y̵͍̞̗̞̜̫̦̹̼͘͡o͓̘̗̞̘͙̘̰͜u͍̘̜̞̪͘'̴͇̟̰ͅr̛̼̘̟̣̱ę̢̳̳̫̗̘͉̰͓͠ͅ ̝̼̩̤͔̻̣̕ͅl̫̭͜͡y̴̼͓̰ì̺̙͡ņ̱̫̝̖̖g̛̦̝̞̤̟͖̪͎ ̛̬̗̻͎̥a̧̘̺p̢̦̳̮̣r͇̼̜͓̺̯ͅi̢͈͙̰̭l͏̣̖ ̧̖̝͇̙͚̺͇Y̛̦O̩̳͈̼͕̦̼͜͞U̺̼̕̕͘'̻͖̯̫͇̝R͙̺͓̲̫E̫͙̱̜̺̬̜̘̲ ̢̮͓̣L̶̫̥̫̪̞Ỵ̢͇̠͠Į͖̣̝͈̤͖͎́ͅŃ̼̖G͈̗̰̫͎͖̬̟

Mikey’s vision blurred, same as Donnie’s floating form. He saw April stumble, as the crushing pressure Leo, Casey, and Splinter had described bared down on them all.

i̫̮̺ ͉̞̻͕̯h͖̣̫e̬̼a̲͔r̦̕d̠̝̞̺͎̼̳͠ ͖͖̙̘͔̮̕he̱͔̘r͉̯̭̣ ͚͖̖̬̮̹s̹͇̖͙͙̟h̰̞e͓̰̯͙͔ ҉̭̹͕̙̩̘s͕ͅa̛ị̶̝̪̣ḍ̷̠̩̩̝ ͡Y̛͓̳̙O҉U̖̹̹͎ ͖ŞA҉I̵̗͎̻̮̩̺̱Ḍ̪͔̺̖̜ ̲͇̘̘̱͓͔y̴o̥̮̦̹̺̥ͅu̙͕͎̲͈͘ ̺͡w̞͈a̡͈͈͇̥̞͍n͎͓̪̻t̙̰̩̘̦̬e̸͓̭͎͈̜͓d ̫͓͉̥̲͘p̬͍͖o̙̲̗̤ẁ͙͖ͅe͎̗͚̤͔̪̹r̸̼͚̺̮̯͖̖ ̧̪̼̻̯w̲̗͔͉a͕̳̜n̲t̻͢e͉͚̘d̻ ͈̺̰̞̜m̩̼̫͙͈̳o̮͔̖͟ŕ͚͙̤͙̗e̗̩̯͚͓̩ p̭̞͓͎o͔̯̘͔̰̙͡w̰̖e͍̱̜͕r̜̻̬̰̙͎̰ ̛̼̟̭̲̺͍͇Y̨O̳̺̫̤̞U̬̯̥̟ ͢C̺̳̼̟̭̙HO̲̼̜S̪̞͢E͜ ̩T̲͕̻̼͇͚̣H̙̦͎̮͍A̵T̟͈͟ ̡̣̬̰͚O̢͙̰̯V҉͇̳̙̬̩͙E̶̘̯̖̮͍R҉̯̫̭̙̫ ͎̱͕M͖̮̰̹̹E̸͓̲͖͙̠̹ ̝̯Y̳͔̹̠̩O̶̦̞̘̼U̦͕̞̤ ̵̻D͈̭̜̭͙̘̮͜Į̺ͅD̢͔͎ͅ ̳̙̝T̨̳̼̠̪Ḫ͍̞̘̟̜͢I͉̻S͕̣̬ ̤̙̖̙̀Y̫̲̞̩̮̩͈O̴̳̬̱̟̦̲͉Ư̼͉̗̬̻̖ͅ ̱͚̹D̩͕͍͇͢I̬͉͈͉D̯̤̥͎͔̭̞͡ ͡T̴H̯͈̺̠͎̩͠ͅI̢͈͓̟͍ͅS͚ ̡̞͖̤̞̥O̼͓͓̤͔̪ͅN̸ ͏͔̼P̴͖U̯̪̩̖̹̼͇͢R͍̻̤̼̰̮̬Ṕ̦OS͚̺̣͉͉̩E̲̗̘

“I- no I wouldn’t have-”

y҉̖̳͔̖ó̫̹͎u̧͍̯̫͓̮͇͎̜͞ ͔̘̀͠D̷͓̗̗̭͕̖̰̟Ị̡͇̝̱̦̤͜D̼̟͍͔̻͕̙̗̺̀ y͏̫̩̩̠͉̙o̘͖̪u͔̪̤̮̹̩ ̤͖̦̤̥̦D̖I̭̤D̹̤̺͎ ͇͇̩̺̣T̗̭͕H̻̲͕̰O̠͟Ṵ̖̬͜G̶H̛̰͙ͅ ͈̤̀y̼̗̬͙͎o̫ù͎̥̫͕͚̙ͅ ͉͍͙̥͎͖͞d̦͘i̪̕d̛̪̹͚͇͚̬ ̨͓͇͈a͚͚̱͓n͔̳͍d͓̜͍̟͠ ̤̖̹i̧̤̤̤̦̗̟̬t͇̀s͢ ҉͙̳̼̟ͅa͉̰̗l̩͈̣̞̱̘̼l̝ ̜̠͇̳̳͢y̭͜o̷̼͓̼u̳̰r͔͙̗ ͚͖̥f̲͔͚͉̖a̘̞u͙͓͔̲̕l̠͈͙͚̘̮̜t̫͎̰͙͉̩͟ ̻̰͖͝ͅi̗̬̭'̴̜͚͎͉m̢̹̩ ̤̞̬̙̹̦t͈̝̳͉r̻̲͕̱̹a͕p̙p̤̙̪͍̩e͓d̦ ̜̙̜̖͈̀a̻̩̰͙̠̙̘n̴̦̬̲̬̯̺ḑ̲̲͈̮͇ͅ ͇͍̦͔̱ͅͅi͉t̠̳̤͟s͚͚̭̻͍̦͉͟ ̻̮̯̥̭á͉ll ̞̥̀y̗͉o̩̟̣͕̺͝u͜r̤̀ ͎͎̥f͙͓au̱͜l̨̫̹t̛̞̗̩͉̬͇ ̦̺̪̞̹͖y͓̰̲̯̰̯̮͠o̵͇̮͙̖͈u͙̱ ̥d̮͙ͅi͓̯͟d̡̘ ̸t͇̱͙͉͇͙͕͠h̬̥͡i̞̰͎͞ͅş̬̰̯̜̯ Y̳O̕U͓͇̞̻̕ ̖̜̼DI̡̮D͈̥͓̤͈ ͔̬̯̥̯T̹͖̲H͖͎̳̙͉͉͍I̜̯͍͚̥͕̞S͎̘̭̮͍͕ ̧̦͔̤͔̲̩Ą͉͖̟͓̞̼P͚͇̞̖͖͈ͅR̺̩̲I̩̻̫̟̤͚L̪̲̱ͅ ̞̪̥Y̦O̡̻̣U̢͈̳̥̜ ̛̻͚͇͉̹Ḏ̦I̙D͇̹̪̟̺̗̜ ̶̙̣͖͎̜ͅT̞̹͎̹H̱͕̳̠͙Į̦S҉̯ ͉͚̤͖̺H̼̜͇͘O̦͇̫͙͉W̟̗̜ ͔̖̗̜͡C̛̝O̺͘U̬͔̠͍̰͈̲͝L͇̀D̷ ̵Y̖O̜̩̯͈̙͜U̡͖͍͉̲ ͓̱̤̥̘I̩͇̻'̣͇M͚̗̜͎̟̼ ̼̰͔̙T̷̞R̳̩̝̗̞A̶̭̲̜̗͔̝̬P҉̖͈̪͓͉̖P̻͈͔̥͙E͙̲̖͟D͔̤̙ ͖͓A̺͔̮̣͠N͔͖͔͎̟̹̞͞D̠̮̮̼͠ ̯̲̝͓̫I̡̖̯͓T̪̙̩ ̡͙̝̪͇H̢̙̥U͔͉̰̟͚R̤͖̘̦̥̭̖Ṯ̯̫̙ͅS͙̱͍̹ ͙̻̺̬́a̯̺̠̩p̹̗͈͔͔̣r̶̜̹i̱̙͔̩̖l̬̻͎͓ ̭̖̟̠̻͓i̛̞̬̩͖̖̲̹t̛̖ ̢̹̲͖̼̲̰h̷̳̰͖͇ṵ͉͎͈̟͎ṟ̠̰͍t̢͙̱̲̹͍̠͉s͚̝̙͍̟ i̟̺̱̘t̴̟͇ ̻͙̥͎h̸͍̙͍̣ư͔̺̘͍̦͉ṛ̖̞̼t͎̪̱̬̹̦̯̀s ̬̫̬̫i̻͚̣̼̫͠t̳͚͕͍̟̱ ̖͚̼̖̤̪͙h͍͖̯u̶̦̼͍̘̠ͅṟ̖̹̤̼̪̩t̶̝̞̠̜s̖̰̳̻̞͜ ̮̯I̩͙TS͓̱͙̱͕̲̦͢ Ą͎͈̜͖L̶̳̻͔̠͎̮̜L̺͜ Y̵̭̲̯O̳͈̭U̯̹̠͍͔̦R̫̤̩ ̴͚̤F̲̩͉̥̖̣̯A͉̳͓̪͙͈͉U͚͚͔̼L͎̲̟͚̮̗̕T̘̯̙̠͈͜ ̻̻͈̘̥͉ͅH̹͓̞̣̦͉O̧W̛̞̥͉̤̝̤̳ ̝̩̩̝̮̀C͘O̸̳̳͚̪͇U͓͓̜̦L͇͙̼̥D̘̬̪͙̹̥ ̥͟Y̤͚Ơ͉̥̟͔U̠̪̱͎͈͚͕͘-

“I DIDN’T MEAN TO!” April screamed, clutching the sides of her head.

Donnie suddenly went silent again, and Mikey slowly peeled his hands away from his ears.

The only thing to be heard was everyone’s harsh breathing, Mikey’s own lungs still feeling tight and refusing to fill completely.

April seemed the worst off, still crying and holding onto herself, like she was trying to keep from falling apart.

Donnie stared down at her, soundless and without emotion. Once again a silent judgement of what she’d done.

April gasped wetly, looking up at Donnie with bruised and exhausted eyes. “I didn’t mean to. Za-naron was controlling me; I couldn’t hold her back anymore. I never meant to do this, Donnie. I’m… I’m so sorry.”

April’s apology hung in the air, quiet and broken sounding. Mikey’s still existing empathy for her, despite everything, put a rush of emotion through him. He still cared about April, even with what she’d done.

Donnie’s head slowly tilted, the opposite side as the last time, and he seemed to be considering April.

yo̞̣̳̟͎̙u͏͍̻̼'̥̰̦̯͘r̝ȩ̭̳̼.͍̗̻͉̫͉̘́.̝̥̼͝.̠̱̭̙͖͞ ̢̜̞̝ͅs͈or͠ͅr͖̝̰͝ͅy̱̫̥͠?͓̲͈̹̮͓͞ͅ

April nodded, another tear trickling from her chin. “I’m so, so sorry.”

Donnie stared down at April, wide and milky eyed. April stared back at him, fearful and watery. Then-

All at once, Donnie’s expression twisted. The first emotion he’d shown the whole time, and it was him curling his lip into a snarl.

Y̧̝̤̮̹̬O̧̞͙̠̼͜U̝͔̼̬̘͠'̷̶̳̩̭͉̩̰R̜̳̀́͝ͅͅE͉̺̞̯ ҉͔͓̻͟S͚͟͠O͔̜̜͢ R͏͈ Ŕ̦̮̣̼̭͢͝ Y̢͇͎?̭̭̻̼̮͘͢!͎̝̥̮̭̻

Donnie opened his mouth- revealing nothing but a gaping blackness behind his teeth- and he screamed.

It was ear piercing, bone trembling, soul deep and heart wrenching all at once. It overtook everything, and April’s own scream was lost in the overwhelming force of sound.

The crushing pressure returned, and this time Mikey’s legs gave out.

The same time he hit the floor, he saw April hit it as well.

Something- Donnie?- roiled through the air, snapping and strangling everything. Fury- it was pure fury and anguish. Mikey’s eyes watered, and he choked as his brother’s raw pain flooded every one of his senses.

Mikey couldn’t think- his brother’s visceral howl clogging every bit of his mind. He- Donnie was in so much pain, he was in so much pain- Mikey- Mikey needed to help him- get him back get him to safety- make it stop- please- ṕ̤̞̯l͠e̻͍̮̣as̜͢e͙͈̙͟ ̞͜m̷̫a̞ke͍̫͖ ͖͇̻͓i̤t͕̪̞̯̙̲ ̞s̵̞͎̰t̲͎̺̤̰̟o͍͈͇̦p̠͖̘̬̙͍-̴͉͖͚̦͚͉͖

Mikey’s skewed eyes caught a glance of Donnie- his brother floating high above the ground, form warping and flickering as the howling got louder and louder and louder-

- ma̱k͢e ͔͓̬̭i͖̪͓̦͔̙͙t͍͜ ̯̲͖̻̕s̪t͉̜͙̜̹͔o҉͉̝͉̭̳̫p̟͈ ̝̦̜̲̲̞͈̕m͖͜a͚̠̰̱k̩̦̻͇̘ȩ ḭ̹̯̱̼t̠̟̩̣̟ ̗͚͉̕s̭̞ṱ͚o̡̦p̟̥̀-̴̹ h̶͓͚̭̼̟e̩l̨̟p͙͉͕͡ m͔e̫͖ Ì ̛̺̮̖̼͉̗ne͔̪̟̺̲̥̟ḙ̪̩̗̮͖̟d̀-̵̮̝͖ ̶̻̹̟I̢͕ ͖͉͇̹n͖͎̺̟̤̬ͅe̫͜ͅè̪̙͚͔̻͎d̹͈̥̘ͅ ̪͝h̺͕̠̞̦͇ẹl̸̘p̷̼̗̤̹͚ ̯͈̤̺p͚͚̝̦̫͇ĺ̘͕̹͖͍̰e̶͙̗͍̦͍̱a̦̺̰̤s͟e͈͎͔ ̡̻͙͙͓ͅi̺͡t͕͍͍̦͔ ̞͍̭̠̠̀h̙̱̙͍̪̞u̳͇͈͈̞͔̜r̬̰̫̫̬̦͇t̜̹̣̗̘̰͝ș͎̥̥̮ ̦it̛͍̟ ̙̺͍͖̲ͅh̡̭̺̤̙u̗͓̞r̛̖̮̰͍t̟͍̤͞s̺͢ ̛s̭o̰ ̰̲͔m̩̀u̢ch̡͎̤͙-̳̱͍

A different scream broke through the noise, and Donnie’s howl cut off.

Mikey saw his brother’s body evaporate in midair, like dust being swept away by the wind. The air pressure popped, and Mikey gasped as he breathed again.

The lights stopped strobing, and stillness settled back into the lair.

The sudden silence filling the room, it was only broken by Mikey’s family gasping for oxygen, and April’s sobbing.

Mikey rolled onto his hands and knees, head feeling woozy and full of cotton. He rubbed his eyes, trying to get clear vision again. His hand came away wet, and Mikey realized that his mask felt damp with tears.

Blearily, his gaze drifted to the closest person to him.

April was curled on herself, hands and arms over her head as she sobbed. She was muttering “I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry-” over and over under her breath.

Mikey blinked sluggishly, and then pushed himself shakily onto his feet. He stumbled the few steps it took, then collapsed again in front of April’s prone form.

“Hey- hey April, you… are you okay?” He asked, hands hesitating over his… over April’s shoulder.

April made a choked sound in the back of her throat, and curled up further.

Mikey’s hands hovered for another long moment, indecision and acidic memories bubbling up in his chest, and then-

He gently put them on April’s jacket clade shoulder, and shook her once. “C’mon, answer me, did he hurt you anywhere?”

“…no, no he didn’t,” April whispered, still hiding in herself. “I… I sent him away, again. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry…”

April trailed off, quiet sobs returning.

Mikey looked down at the person who’d been the source of his nightmares, a person he’d seen as one of the strongest people he knew, how she was now curled up and crying without coherence- and wondered how it had come to this.

April looked so different without her hair. She looked… smaller.

Mikey closed his eyes, and slowly opened them again.

April’s shoulder felt smaller too. Thinner.

“April…” Mikey mumbled, rubbing April’s shoulder. “It’s gonna be okay. We’ll fix this. We’re gonna fix this.”

April shook her head miserably, and kept crying.

As Mikey’s family found their feet again- stumbling around and shaking off whatever Donnie had done to them all- Mikey rubbed April’s shoulder. Smoothly and carefully, unsure of what he was trying to accomplish.

He wasn’t sure at all, what they were trying to accomplish anymore; least of all himself.

continued.

#I hear static I hear you tag #Poltergeist Donnie AU #my writing #hey look an update #we're moving forwards with the plot again #hooray #*murders my own emotions*#*hopes to have murdered everyone else's as well*#suffer with my people #suffer #TMNT 2012 #April O'neil #michelangelo #Donatello

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unpopcorned · 6 years

Text

Jonah isn’t sure what to make of it anymore. What to make of Vito, what to make of the kiss. Granted, the guy was drunk, so he can’t really act like it meant much. Maybe he didn’t even remember, maybe Jonah should act like he doesn’t remember.

But he does, he remembers really, really well. Jax always commented that Jonah had a great memory. Picture perfect.

“It a guy?”

Jonah blinks, looks up from his takeout box - the chow mein from the place down the corner was the best, he fiddles with his chopsticks, doesn’t really look at William, “...No.”

“You should work on that,” William says, pokes at his orange chicken, “Lying, I mean. You’re bad at it. Still.”

He knows that. He isn’t a fan of lying, anyway, “I mean - I guess you could say it’s a guy.”

“You do anything with him?”

“What’s with all the questions?”

“You been all quiet, thinkin’ and shit,” a pause, Jonah continues to pick up the noodles and then drop them back into the box, “You fuck Vito, bro?”

Jonah’s head lifts, “What--no! No, okay? We...” He shrugs a shoulder, looking down, “It’s nothing.”

“He hit you or somethin’?”

“No.”

“So what’s up?”

“I don’t wanna talk about it.”

William is still eyeing him, frowning. Then he speaks up, “A’ight. Fine. You got it, no talkin’ about it. We can talk about somethin’ else. Like some work.” Jonah almost groans - the absolutely last thing he wants to focus on. It’s a priority though, he doesn’t have time to waste daydreaming. He works well with William, he knows what he’s doing, at least.

Better than fumbling Jax, at least.

But while he is working, his hands are on autopilot. It’s his brain that never shuts off, never stops thinking. Running through scenarios, things he could’ve said, things he shouldn’t have said. He should’ve said more to Vito, shouldn’t have kissed him back when he was drunk. The guy won’t even look him in the eye now. They’d had one meeting all together last Thursday, Vito avoided him like the plague. Not that Jonah was going out of his way to speak to him, but whenever he glanced at Vito even once, Vito was pointedly not looking in his direction.

Maybe he only remembered bits and pieces. Maybe he didn’t remember anything at all and he was still angry. It’s hard to tell. Either way, Jonah feels like a bit of an idiot. He always does in these types of situations.

He doesn’t talk to Vito then. Even after the next meeting that Rob calls - the last one for the month, since everything would be carried out by the end of the week. Jacob would be happy, Veronica would be happy, and Rob would stop trying to argue with them both.

Jonah sits outside by Rob’s truck - now, every time he looks at it, he’s going to be thinking of Vito. That sucks. He likes Rob’s car. To the left of him, he hears footsteps, turns his head to see Vito slowly making his way over, staring at his shoes like they were the most interesting thing on earth.

At first, he does not say anything. Neither of them do.

“About...before.”

Jonah looks up, blinks. Vito isn’t looking at him still.

“...before.”

“Yeah.”

Jonah continues to stare at him, Vito hesitantly raises his eyes. Jonah manages a half-hearted smile, looks curious now, “What happened before?”

“Yanno.”

“I don’t.”

“We--” He makes this vague gesture with his hands, looks a bit frustrated. He keeps looking at Jonah and then away, back and forth, “Outside.”

“Yeah...?”

“You know what. You know what we did.”

“Nope. Gonna have to remind me--” He stops when Vito steps closer, so close that Jonah can smell the soap off of him. Vito’s eyes are dark and intense, staring right into his, Jonah keeps his hands in his pockets, probably best to not touch him, “I’m not going to say anything, Vito.”

Vito presses his lips together, seems to be contemplating his answer. Like he doesn’t know whether to trust him or not, “...The girl. From before--”

“Casey? Don’t worry. She’s harmless. And high most of the time,” Vito still looks unsure, “If it’ll make you feel better, I’ll make sure she didn’t see anything, okay?”

“I...I just...Just forget it, alright?”

“No problem. You were drunk. Not thinking right.” Jonah’s been trying to tell himself that for awhile now. He’s got Vito’s confirmation, it didn’t mean anything. It can’t mean anything. It should be dropped, fast. “We’re cool, man. Chill out.” He tries to be casual when he touches him, one hand on his shoulder, Vito tenses underneath his touch.

“You ready to go?” Rob’s voice is a few feet away, he has his keys in his hand. Vito shies away from Jonah’s hand, moves past Rob carefully to go back inside. Rob blinks, glances back at Jonah, “Everything okay?”

Jonah watches Vito’s back, then looks down, “Yeah. Everything’s fine.”

This download is taking forever. Jonah grumbles to himself, irritated and tired - he hasn’t had any coffee yet. He thought it would be finished by the morning, no such luck. With how many names are being copied onto the floppy disk, there’s only so much his laptop can do. He has to have it ready by noon, it’s already twelve.

He stands from the table, peels off his shirt. It’s way too hot in his apartment, he searches around for looser clothes - a pair of sweats that have a few too many holes in them. He’s had them for too long now, his mom isn’t around to sew it up like before either. The length of his sleeves aren’t helping either, he has to push them up to his elbows.

When he gets to his laptop, he frowns, presses his thumb to his lip. Maybe he should reduce the number of names and data, just to make sure the drive isn’t taking too much at once. It’ll corrupt it. He’s biting at his thumb when there’s a knock at his door.

Probably Veronica. Said she would be over soon to pick it up. She’ll be pissed if it’s not ready, but there isn’t much he can do to remedy that. He pulls himself off the sofa, gets to the door and opens it, “--Oh.”

It’s Vito. Of course It’s Vito.

Another week or so since Jonah has seen him. Talked to him. Touched him at all. He drops his hand from the doorknob, “Sorry - I was expecting Veronica.”

“She told me to come pick it up,” Vito tells him, he’s staring at Jonah - but it’s kind of like he’s staring through him at the same time. Like a spot over his shoulder, “It’s ready?”

“It’s only on fifty-eight percent. I don’t want to mess up the files by overloading it, might have to switch it out for a bigger drive.” Vito steps inside, takes off his shoes like before, blinking at Jonah.

“What.”

Jonah smiles, it starts off slow and then spreads across his face, “I - uh, I’m sorry. I keep forgetting, people don’t deal with stuff like this a lot. Long story short, I’m probably gonna need another hour on it. That okay?”

Vito shrugs one shoulder, “’S fine.” He stays though, doesn’t offer to leave like Jonah thought he would, “It okay if I wait here?”

Jonah sits back down on the couch, brings his computer back to his lap, “You’re fine. Sit wherever you want, man.” And Vito does - he sits on the far end of the couch. Away from Jonah. Jonah is okay with that, tells himself to be okay with that. He still doesn’t like the thought of Vito not liking him. Puts a bad taste in his mouth.

He’s typing away on his laptop, squinting while he focuses. Vito speaks up after maybe ten minutes of quiet, “You drink a lot of those?”

Jonah looks up, follows his gaze to see two cans on the floor. Jonah rubs at his shoulder, he’s starting to cramp from slouching so much, “Yeah. Love ‘em.”

“They’re bad for you.”

“A lot of stuff is bad for you.”

Vito doesn’t say anything to that, he looks like he wants to keep talking though. There’s a beep from Jonah’s computer, he looks back towards it. First side is complete, gotta flip it now. He takes out the disk, puts it back in on the opposite side. Veronica will probably find it more complicated, but it’s the only way he knows how to get all the names on the drive.

Jonah gets up from the couch, pauses for a second and looks over at Vito, “Hey, you want anythin’ to drink?”

“Hm?” Vito obviously was lost in his thoughts, looks up when Jonah speaks.

“I said do you want anything to drink?”

“Sure.” Jonah doesn’t have a lot to choose from, water and soda. It’s flat though. He grabs a bottle, almost drops it when he notices Vito is in the kitchen too. His words come out in a rush, “I know I’m bein’ an asshole to you, but - I don’t want to be. I want to be--” He has difficulty spitting whatever it is out, he motions a lot with his hands, “Friends, yanno? Shit like that.”

Jonah doesn’t say anything, licks at his bottom lip as he thinks, “...friends?”

“Yeah. Just fuckin’ friends. And I don’t know how to be--”

“‘Cause I’m gay?”

“No, because--” Vito stops there. He looks irritated, Jonah doesn’t know who it’s directed towards, “Fuck.”

“Hey,” Jonah steps closer, tries to make his tone as comforting and calm as possible - like how his mom used to talk to him when he was scared. It always made him feel better, “It’s fine, Vito. It’s cool. Stop beatin’ yourself up,” Jonah has noticed he does that a lot, only had a handful of conversations with the guy, “It’s my fault. I made it weird. We can be friends--”

Vito kisses him. Again.

Except, it’s not like before. Teeth and the hard press of his lips. It’s soft this time, cautious - lingering almost. When he pulls back, Jonah is staring at him and Vito has turned a light pink. Jonah doesn’t give him a chance to apologize or leave, he kisses him this time. Vito inhales sharply, doesn’t back up though, leans his weight up and presses into the kiss harder.

Jonah keeps his hands to himself - Vito is so jumpy, he’s scared he’ll leave again and act like it never happened. He grips the counter behind him tight, so tightly that his knuckles begin to show through the skin. Hesitantly, he parts his lips along Vito’s, enjoys the feel of Vito deepening it further, as if he’s trying to chase after Jonah’s breath to see where it’s coming from.

It makes his heart feel weird. Stomach too. Head. Everything.

There’s a small noise from the living room, takes Jonah a few seconds to realize it’s his computer. When they pull away, Vito is breathing a little too hard to be normal, leans back slightly to give Jonah room to move around him.

“It’s - uh, done,” Jonah tells him, out of breath as well. Vito is slow getting to him, takes the drive from him, careful not to touch skin to skin. Jonah tries not to take that too personally. Vito looks down at it, flipping it over to get a good look, “Thanks for...stopping by...”

Vito twists the disk in between his fingers, flexes his jaw, “No problem.”

“Cool, right?”

“Yeah. We’re cool.”

The heat is becoming stifling. Jonah works hard, though. Works for Rob, finishes his school work ( as the second semester ends, the load has become even heavier ), schedules as many tutoring sessions as he can. A few things he’s learned in college: where to get weed, you can pee whenever you want ( don’t gotta ask to be excused ), and even though you were born rich and white, it doesn’t mean you’re very smart.

Jonah tutors a lot of different people. Mostly guys - they don’t like writing notes, don’t like studying, they flunk more than girls. Jonah scribbles a doodle on the corner of his paper, his appointment is running late. He doesn’t mind as much as he should. He only looks up when his headphones are pulled at lightly.

Gavin is standing there, smiling at him, “Sorry. Class ran on longer than usual.”

“It’s cool,” Jonah hadn’t been waiting long, he turns off his old cassette player, tucks it away in his backpack, “You bring your textbook?”

“Hey,” Gavin points a finger at him, “I’m gettin’ better at remembering. Don’t tease me.”

“Uh-huh,” When he takes it out, Jonah pulls it close, flipping open to page two-hundred-forty-nine, “Right here,” he points to the map there, “The Kalinigrad Oblast, which body of water does it border?”

Gavin looks like he’s thinking, bites at his lip, “Don’t throw me shit like that, it’s only been two seconds.”

“This is one-oh-one stuff, you should have it down. How’re you gonna pass your final?”

“Won’t have to if you take it for me.”

“Ha-ha. Be serious,” He points to something else, “What about this one - which country is located between Sierra Leone and the Ivory Coast?”

“Jonaaaah.”

“This is easy stuff.”

“Easy to you, yeah,” Gavin has never been very confident in himself when it comes to academic portions. To Jonah, it’s like remembering the back of your hand - too easy. He can understand though, it’s not like that for everyone. He’s patient enough to try and help, “What’re you doing this weekend?”

“Don’t change the subject.”

“I’m not. I swear,” he grins at Jonah, the type of grin that wins over the girls here, “Seriously, what’re you doing?”

“Nothin’. I was gonna study, why?”

“Throwing a party. You should come.”

Jonah licks at the corner of his lips, eyes Gavin, “Anything interesting gonna happen?”

“Besides me being there, nah,” he drops his blue eyes to the book in front of him, “Rashid was gonna bring his band out. Never heard them play before. It’ll be cool. Music, food, I’ll even buy a fucking pinata if it means you’ll come.”

Jonah can feel a smile forming, he quirks up his eyebrows, “You drive a hard bargain, man. Hard to say no.”

“Yeah, I get that a lot.”

Jonah shouldn’t. He’s not the partying type. He only really goes to things like that because of William or Jax. Though, with the amount of work he’s been putting in lately, he doesn’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing to take a break.So, he shrugs a shoulder, looks back down at the book.

“Alright. Yeah.”

“Really? You mean it?” Gavin’s face has lit up, “Don’t flake on me.”

Jonah doesn’t flake on him. He goes to the party, feels uncomfortable without William there. Stays huddled in the corner on his own. Whether he likes it or not, he is pretty well known around campus and people are always eager to speak to him. Around one, Gavin finds him, he takes a seat next to him, handing him a cup.

“You didn’t spike this or anythin’, right?” Jonah is only half teasing, he doesn’t take a drink, “What - not enjoying your own party?”

“Would be enjoying it more if you actually joined in,” Gavin tells him, nudges his shoulder into his playfully, “You aren’t bored sitting over here?”

He is, but he isn’t going to say that, “Nah. I’m good. I didn’t see a pinata yet, I’ve been deceived.”

“Yeah, y’got me. I forgot,” Gavin continues staring at him, takes a sip of his own drink, “Hey, wanna go somewhere quieter?” Jonah grimaces, puts down the drink to the side of him. On the clock on the wall, he follows the ticking motion. And then back to Gavin, who looks at him expectantly.

“Sure.”

He follows Gavin around his big house, past couples making out, people taking shots, some smoking. They make it to his parents room, from the balcony, Jonah can see a few guys tossing a girl into the pool, she’s laughing.

Gavin comes to his side, “You always so quiet?”

“You’re around me all the time.”

“Only when your tutoring me. Been tryin’ to invite you to shit like this for a year now.”

“I was busy.”

“Yeah, okay,” Gavin snorts, puts down his cup on the end table, “You’re fucking Mr. M, right? Economics.”

Jonah blinks, “Sorry?”

“Mr. Milverton. You’re fucking him.”

“...And that’s your business because...?”

“Don’t get all defensive. Just wondering.”

“Wondering what.”

“If you put out.”

Jonah stares at him, he suddenly doesn’t like how close he is. How his breath smells like vodka. How he’s a few inches taller. Frowning now, Jonah crosses his arms, pokes his tongue against his cheek, “There’s a reason you’re asking, I’m guessing.” This is one of the things he hates about college - a lot of people were open to opening their sexuality for the shits and giggles, didn’t take it serious or think anything through. He’s been on the end of that stick more than once, “Look--”

He’s kissed. It’s sloppy, Gavin almost misses his lips completely. Jonah pulls back, almost gets out another word before Gavin is going back in for more. It’s strange - nothing like--( well, you know what he means ). Either way, it’s not something he enjoys, he has to hold steady hands to his shoulders.

“What’s wrong?” Gavin asks, tries to lean back in, “Not good?”

“No, I just--” Jonah is currently wondering if that’s what girls are into. Being kissed like that, like by a dog with a bad drooling problem, “I gotta go.” It’s hard to detangle himself from Gavin, he has a steadfast grip and talks quick, apologizing and blabbering fast, “Thanks for inviting me.”

He’s even more crowded downstairs than it was before. Jonah has a difficult time getting through all of the people. Outside, Gwen and Jenny are there, both smoking and looking up when he passes by.

“Jonah, are you leaving?”

“Huh? Oh--” He scratches at his neck, shrugs, “Yeah.”

“Wanna ride? I was gonna take Jen home.”

He’s packed into the car with Mike, Gwen, Jenny, and Taylor. He would’ve just ridden his board, but it seems like Jonah has a hard time saying no to people nowadays. Gwen stops her mom’s minivan at a convenience store for gas, and Jonah only gets out to breathe for a couple moments, get something to drink to get the taste of beer out of his mouth.

He opens the cooler, notices someone out of the corner of his eye, “...Rudy?”

Said man looks up, cracking open a beer, even though he hasn’t bought it yet, “Oh, shit. Hey, Jonah.”

“What’re you doin’ here?”

“Too sober for it to be Friday, yanno?’

“Sure.”

“Here,” he tosses a beer at Jonah’s head, fortunately he catches it, “I’ll buy.” Even though Jonah definitely isn’t going to drink it, he goes along with Rudy. Watching as he gets into a small fuss with the shop clerk for opening the drink too early. They leave the store together, Rudy taking a quick drink and looking up when he hears laughter.

His eyes seem to zero in on Gwen - long legs, blonde hair, pretty smile. It reminds Jonah of those cartoons he used to watch on Saturday mornings ( where the protag falls in love with a girl and his eyes get all big and heart-shaped ).

“Jonah! You ready?” Gwen is waving over to him.

Before Jonah can reply, Rudy elbows him, “Who’s your friend?”

“Uh - Gwen. She’s nice.”

“She sure fuckin’ is. Introduce me,” Gwen starts to make her way over to them, straightening her walk when she spots Rudy beside Jonah, “Love blondes--hey, baby. What’s your name?”

Gwen bats her eyelashes at Rudy, plays coy, “It’s Gwen,” she looks at Jonah next, “Jonah, this your friend?”

Jonah doesn’t have a chance to answer, Rudy does for him, “Yeah. Me and Jonah go way back, yanno. Surprised he never introduced us. Think we’d make a good pair, hm?” Gwen is giggling, Jonah simply watches, curious.

“What’s takin’ so damn long...” From Rudy’s car, out steps Vito, who stops when he sees the three of them. Mostly Jonah. He looks away quickly, narrowing his eyes on Rudy, “Hurry the fuck up--”

“This is my cousin,” Out of nowhere, Rudy wraps a long arm around Vito’s neck, pulling him close, “Name’s Vito.”

“Hi,” Gwen smiles at Vito, just as she did Rudy, “We were actually...about to hit another party in Jen’s neighborhood, did you guys want to come?”

“Jen, huh?” Rudy is still holding Vito close, who’s starting to look more and more uncomfortable, “‘Course we wanna come, baby. Whatever you want.” Gwen skips away, too excited to hold to information to herself and goes to tell Jenny. Rudy lets Vito go, slapping him hard on the back, “See that? One blonde for me, redhead for you, man.”

Jonah watches as Vito goes a bit pale, rubs at the back of his neck, “Thought we were headin’ home. Jacob called, remember?”

“Little Emiliano can fuckin’ wait, okay?” Rudy is still staring after where Gwen went, “You’ll thank me later. When you get some pussy.” With that, he’s heading back inside the gas station to pay for a tank, pulling a wad of cash out of his jeans pocket.

Jonah keeps quiet, pressing his lips together briefly and then glancing at Vito out of the corner of his eye. Vito is taking out his pack of cigarettes, lighting one quietly.

“You want one?”

“No, thanks. I don’t smoke.”

“Okay,” Vito tucks it away, voice sounds strange so he clears his throat, “Those’re your friends?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“You guess.”

“Yeah. They’re nice to me.”

“So that makes ‘em your friends?”

“Makes pretty much anyone my friend, man.”

Vito is frowning at that, inhales from his cigarette, “I’m not nice to you. I don’t think.”

Jonah shrugs a shoulder, “It’s cool. I don’t mind--”

“You should,” Vito glances over at him, his voice is quiet and hushed, like he doesn’t want anyone else to hear him, “You should. Mind it, I mean.” Jonah doesn’t say anything, can’t really look away from the dark color of Vito’s eyes. When he looks in front of him again, he goes back to smoking, “...Sorry ‘bout Rudy.”

“I like him,” Vito snorts some, “No, really. He’s got character.”

“Sure.”

“You don’t think so?”

“Don’t really matter what I think,” Vito says it so quietly under his breath that Jonah doesn’t think that he wanted him to hear him. But before he can reply, Rudy is back out, throwing an arm over Vito’s shoulders again, “Fuck - Rudy, warn a guy, would ya’?”

“I’m gonna make sure you get laid tonight, man,” Rudy tells him, “Been way too long.”

Vito glances at Jonah, and then away. Laughs - it sounds a bit too high pitched, “You drunk or somethin’?”

“Nope. Not drunk. Determined.” As they begin to drift back towards their vehicle, Gwen returns to Jonah’s side, mostly staring after Rudy.

“You comin’, Jonah?”

Jonah can feel his stomach twisting up, he shakes his head, “Think I’m just gonna ride the rest of the way back.” His board is under his arm, and it’s not too cold tonight.

Gwen’s face falls, “You sure?”

“Yeah. It’s fine. You guys have fun.”

“Okay. Call me when you get back home, okay?”

“Okay.”

He watches as Gwen pulls out of the gas station parking lot, Rudy’s car soon following after hers. And again, Jonah is left alone.

He actually ends up seeing Vito the next morning. When Jonah wakes up that morning, it’s so hot in his apartment. Almost hard to breathe. It didn’t help that he stayed on the fourth floor, the highest in the building. He has to head downstairs - weird thing is, the hallway feels fine to him. When he gets to the lobby, no one is at the front desk, he’s gotta ring the bell a few times, and wait.

When he’s about to hit it the third time, the side door opens, Wallace ( the landlord ) steps in. Looks grumpy as usual. Jonah brightens, “Hey, Mr. Wallace.”

The landlord eyes him, already looks irritated, “Hell do you want?” Mr. Wallace had never been very friendly, Jonah was used to it, “I’m busy.”

“I know, but - uh...” Jonah slides his hands into the pockets of his hoodie, shuffling on his feet, “I think the air conditioner in my place broke down again.”

“How would you know?”

“...’cause I live there.”

Mr. Wallace sneers up his lip, glares daggers at Jonah, “Try turning it on and off.”

“Actually, there’s been a lack of maintenance lately. I think it might’ve blown a fuse,” Jonah has read his lease enough to know that Mr. Wallace is supposed to take care of these sorts of things. Jonah has made an attempt to ignore it the first few times, even fixed it himself once, but it was getting ridiculous, “Can you at least take a look at it?”

“LIsten, you--”

The front door opens, Jonah and Mr. Wallace both look up. Jonah’s gaze lingering for a few seconds once he sees who it is. Vito is standing in the doorway, bright light shining behind him, hair messy and a bit winded. He drops his cigarette, flicks it off to the ground before entering.

“What’s up?” Jonah looks curious, even more so when Vito stops about a foot away from him, “You okay?” Now that he’s getting a good look, he doesn’t seem okay. Doesn’t look like he slept very well. He’s guessing the party didn’t go how he planned.

Vito shrugs it off, “Yeah. No. I mean - sure,” Jonah’s eyes stay on his face, only looking away when Vito turns his head towards him, “I’m fine.”

Mr. Wallace doesn’t like being interrupted, he glares at Vito, crosses his arms. And then his attention is back to Jonah, “If you got a problem, feel free to move the fuck out.”

Jonah rubs at his neck - last thing he wants to do is argue with his landlord, “Can I at least hire someone to come and look at it? To make sure I’m not doin’ anything wrong, if I touch it, I mean.”

“If you damage property, you have to pay for it.”

Jonah can feel Vito staring, carefully keeps his eyes away from him, “Mr. Wallace--”

His voice is filled with venom when he speaks again, narrowed icy blue eyes on Jonah, “If you don’t like the way things are run around here, faggot, you can just--”

He doesn’t get the rest of his words out. It happens so fast, Jonah has a hard time following Vito’s movements. One second he’s beside him, and the next, Vito is gripping his landlord’s shirt, shoving him hard against the wall. Jonah blinks, stands up straight.

Vito’s voice isn’t like anything he’s heard before, not out of his mouth, “What did you just say? What the fuck did you just call him?”

Jonah stays where he is, watches as old Mr. Wallace sputters for words, “H-Hey...calm down--”

“Vito,” Jonah is closer now, he touches Vito’s forearm, tries to pull a bit to encourage him to let go. He doesn’t like this, “Vito, hey. It’s fine. It’s cool.” It’s not - it’s really not. But he doesn’t have the time to look for a new place and he doesn’t want Mr. Wallace in the hospital because of this. Jonah shouldn’t have been pushy with it, should’ve let it go, “Look at me,” It takes awhile, but Vito does just that, “It’s fine. Let go.”

Vito’s posture is tense, he releases the older man roughly, forcing him back against the wall again, “You call him that shit again, I’ll come back here. Break all your fuckin’ fingers, y’hear me?” Mr. Wallace nods, mouth agape, Vito moves past Jonah, knocks over the papers on Mr. Wallace’s front desk with one violent movement - it makes pens and a stapler hit the floor.

Jonah stays quiet, Mr. Wallace leans against the wall, breathing heavily. Jonah isn’t sure if he should ask if he’s okay or not. He does, gets a glare in return. Decides it’s best to leave him alone for an hour or two. When he gets outside, Vito is still there, rubbing a hand against his face, pacing.

“You okay?” Jonah asks, Vito glances over at him. Then away, like usual. Jonah reaches over, grips his arm, “Vito--”

“Don’t touch me,” Vito moves fast, yanks away so quickly that Jonah flinches a bit. His face is flushed, he’s looking at Jonah again, defensive and wired, “Just - don’t, okay?”

“...okay,” Jonah stays to his side, doesn’t touch him anymore, “You look...tired. You alright?”

“No...not really,” Vito tells him, voice soft, “Night been kinda shitty, yanno?”

Jonah shrugs a shoulder, still staring at him, “...yeah. Mine, too.” By the time Vito calms down and actually takes a breath, Jonah suggests for him to use his shower. Vito takes the invitation, surprisingly, seems like he really needs it. Jonah’s clothes would probably be a little small, but not too bad - he avoids any type of eye or skin contact when handing them to Vito.

“Thanks,” Vito mutters when he comes out of the bathroom, his hair is still a bit wet, he thumbs at his nose for a second, “For the record...I was walkin’ and...walked past here. Thought I’d...” He trails off when he looks at Jonah, “Don’t really know what I thought.”

“Hey, it’s cool. We’re friends, right? You can come over whenever you want,” Jonah sits on the couch, fiddling with his card-reader, currently replacing the antenna with a better one. Faster reading speed would be good. It’s quiet for a few moments, Vito shuffles on his feet, “Party didn’t go well?”

Vito’s shoulders tense up a bit at that, he drops his gaze quickly, “Fucking hate parties like that. They’re bullshit,” he doesn’t linger on it long, though, “You deal with that a lot?”

“Deal with what?”

“That old guy - you’re landlord. He talk to you like that all the time?”

“Not all the time--”

“That doesn’t piss you off? People calling you shit like that?”

“I’ve been called worse,” Vito scoffs, looks off to the side, “It’s not a big deal.”

“It is a big deal. Should be.”

“I just don’t think it’s worth fighting the guy. He’s old - talks however he wants. Not much you can do about it, Vito,” Vito locks his jaw, clenching it so tight that a muscle jumps in his neck, “Can you stop pacing around? Please, man.”

Vito stops, looks at him, rubs at his jaw a bit. He doesn’t say anything else though, sits down on the couch. He still looks really tired, Jonah can’t help but worry. He bites at his mouth, unsure of what to do or say. Vito had said he didn’t want to be touched, Jonah’s used to being able to do that whenever his friends are this wound up.

He looks back down, reaches over and grabs a hold of his cassette player. Vito scoffs when he sees it, “Why’re you always carryin’ around this old--”

“You wanna borrow it?” Vito looks at him, brows furrow. Jonah keeps going, “I make my own mixtapes. William’s got most of ‘em, but...you can borrow it. Helps me calm down all the time.” When Vito hesitantly takes it, their fingers brush. Vito doesn’t snatch away like he usually does, he’s staring at the cassette player almost curiously. Jonah pulls his headphones from around his neck, pulling them apart and settling them around Vito’s head.

“So, if you need’a calm down and think for a sec. You got those.”

Vito licks at his lips, almost looks like he’sfighting a smile, “This is fuckin’ lame.”

“Hey, don’t diss those,” Jonah lightly complains, “Those’re my fa--Oh! Crap, hold on.” Jonah gets off of the couch, Vito’s eyes follow him. He’s in his room for a few seconds, returning and handing over two different tapes for Vito, “Here. These are the best.”

“I’m supposed t’take your word for it?”

“We’re friends, right?”

“...yeah,” Vito is staring at him, drops his eyes when Jonah looks back at him, “Yeah, guess so.”

“So, just trust me.”

“Easier said than done, right?”

Either way, Jonah’s smile never really leaves.

“You know his favorite color?”

“Why the fuck would I know Vito’s favorite color?”

Jonah presses his lips together, casting her a look when she crosses her arms. She hasn’t hit him yet, always a good sign. He follows her gaze - the stuffy business guy from just a few feet away is standing in front of the ATM, typing in his numbers. Veronica waits, she’s pretty impatient with this part. Last crack at it hadn’t gone so well, the device was really bugging out.

Jonah might have to try rewiring it again, or scrapping it completely and starting over. Veronica bites at her nail, grimaces over at him, “What if it doesn’t work again? Then what?”

“Wires might be pressing against somethin’ they shouldn’t. Like the reader itself. I might need a - uh, what’s it called? Twenty-two-six component. But it might make it too bulky--”

“I don’t know what the fuck you’re saying,” Veronica tells him, keeping her arms crossed, “Might as well be speakin’ another language.”

“It’s the wire gauge, Veronica.”

“Still no idea.”

“Okay, think of it like this--” He peels open the back of the device, holding it under the light so she’ll see, “Red wire and blue wire, both have eighteen-six components. I need twenty-two-six to get it to work faster.”

“So where do we get that?”

Jonah shrugs a shoulder, nonplussed, “Doesn’t matter where you get it. Just gotta be right. Think of it as basic math.” The reader makes a delicate beep, and Jonah flips it over, pressing a button. Glowing blue numbers pop onto the screen, filling in blank spaces gradually, “Too slow...”

Veronica shrugs her shoulders, “Fine, I’ll buy you whatever you want. C’mon.” Jonah follows her out, tucking the reader into his pocket. Without his own volition, almost subconsciously, he reaches up and his hands close around empty air - oh, yeah - gave his headphones to Vito.

Can’t help but wonder if he’s using them.

“Why you keep askin’ about Vito?”

Jonah looks up, spots Veronica throwing him a look, “No reason. Just curious.”

“You want me to ask him what his favorite color is?”

“If you want,” Jonah tells her, “I just - I wanna be friends with him. But it’s hard.”

“Yeah,” Veronica stops walking, looks back over at him, “I know what you mean. Kind of.”

“I think he’s freaked out by me,” Jonah slides his hands into his pockets, lifting his shoulders, “Or--” And then he stops, drops his eyes down, “I don’t know. Don’t want him to be.”

“Y’think he’s freaked out by you?”

“Don’t think. Know.”

Veronica flexes her jaw, glances off to the side. And then back to Jonah, “I’ll ask for you.” Jonah’s answering smile is slow and easy, she scoffs under her breath, “Wipe that look off your face. I owe you--”

“V! Jonah!”

They both look up, catches sight of Casey and William heading towards them. Casey, more of skipping. They come to a stop in front of them both, Veronica raises her brows, “See anything?”

“Cameras. Lots of ‘em,” William says, “Security up the ass.”

“Fuck me,” Veronica mutters under her breath, presses her tongue to the corner of her lips as she thinks. She’s quick, turning her head up the street and then to Jonah, “How many cameras can you deactivate at a time?”

Jonah smiles at her again, “As many as you want, V.” Like usual, all three of them follow Veronica whenever she moves, Casey twirling a lock of her hair around her finger as she rushes behind them. She comes to stop by Jonah’s side, blowing out a large bubble with her gum, “Hey, Casey.”

“Hm?”

“You remember...uh, Mason’s party a few weeks ago?”

Casey blinks her big eyes at him, beams a smile, “I like Mason.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“What about it?”

“Remember when you were looking for me?”

She seems to think about it, blowing another bubble and then chewing quickly, “I remember I lost Veronica--oh! I do remember. Yes.” She nods her head, “You were with...um...that one - Manuel? Vito...?”

“Yeah.”

She blinks at him again, fluttering her eyelashes like she doesn’t know the point of the questions. Which is good, “Why?”

He stops walking, glancing over to watch William lean over to say something to Veronica and her swat at him out of annoyance, “If you...saw anything - you can’t say anything, okay?”

“Why not?”

“You just can’t.”

Casey considers it, pressing her lips together with a tilt of her head. Finally, she shrugs her thin shoulders, “Okay...if you don’t want me to.”

“Thanks, Casey.”

Vito is standing next to his car. Jonah hesitates, rolling his foot lightly back and forth over his skateboard. And then he plucks it from the ground and heads over, “Hey, you okay--”

“No.”

Jonah stays quiet, holds his board tighter under his arm, “Rudy didn’t mean what he said, I don’t think.”

“How would you know?” Jonah opens his mouth to reply, but Vito is already turning towards him, eyes dark and heavy, “How the fuck would you know, Jonah? You know anything about me - ‘bout my family?” He expects the anger, it’s always quick and merciless when it comes to Vito, doesn’t try to put up an argument with him. It’d just make it worse.

“I just--”

“Mind your own business, y’hear me?” He’s still staring at Jonah, not giving him room to say anything, jaw clenched tight. Jonah shifts on his feet, and Vito flicks away his cigarette, “We got an understandin’?”

“No, I don’t. I don’t understand, Vito. One second you wanna be my friend, next you’re actin’ like this--”

“If you don’t like it, then just don’t talk to me.”

“Is that what you want?”

“Yeah! I do,” Now, Vito is closer to him, voice dropping to a low and careful tone. When Jonah doesn’t say anything, Vito backs off, reaches inside of his car to pull put the headphones and cassette player, shoves it into Jonah’s chest to make him take it back, “Just forget it, alright?”

“What’s wrong with you?”

“With me?”

“So - what? We can be friends in private, but we can’t talk around your cousins, is that it?”

“What’s so hard for you to understand?”

“You. You’re hard for me to understand. I wanna--” Jonah stops, it’s one of the first times he’s been loss for words. Wanna be close to you, wanna know you? What he’s supposed to say to make things better? “I don’t know how to make things better. For you.”

The anger seems to drain quickly, Vito stares at him for a long time. His eyes look a bit watery, he presses his lips together. He looks like he wants to say something - he always looks like he wants to say something, but he can’t. His eyes dart over Jonah’s shoulder.

“Everything okay?” William asks, raising his brows expectantly towards them both. Vito’s closes his mouth, doesn’t say anything, “Jonah, you good?”

“Yeah--” Jonah nods quickly, holds the headphones and cassette player to his chest more tightly, “We’re just talking.”

“Wouldn’t mind if I stayed right here, then huh?” William gets comfortable slightly behind, to the right of Jonah, tilting his head at Vito, “Right?” It’s tense, even more so now that William is there. Jonah hesitantly glances back towards Vito, he’s not looking at either of them, pressing his thumb against his nose and then pulling his keys rom his back pocket.

Jonah looks at him, “Hey--” Vito doesn’t give him a chance to say much, he’s already getting into his car without a backwards looking, lights flashing on and pulling off the side of the road quickly. Jonah frowns, waits until Vito’s lights disappear around the corner before turning his attention onto William, “I was handling it.”

"That what you call it?” William doesn’t look amused, his eyebrows crease, “Fuck is up with that guy? He buggin’, you see ‘im?”

“Vito’s fine, William. You don’t have to act like that,” William shakes his head, “I’m serious.”

“Yeah, yeah--” William waves him off, climbing the stairs again, nudging his head towards the door, “I’ll buy you a drink later, make it up to you. C’mon.” When Jonah only gives him a look, William shrugs his shoulders, opens the door - there’s the sound of laughter and light music playing when he goes inside.

Jonah stays by the street though, looking back to where Vito had gone.

And then down at his shoes.

#vionah #jonah #writings

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