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tickly-stuff · 2 years

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Let’s be friends Tomioka-San!

(based off of this video)

I THOUGHT OF THIS AT 12:25 AM AND THOUGHT IT WOULD BE CUTE

Summary: Giyuu’s being stubborn again, but Shinobu has her ways.

“Hey hey, Tomioka-San!”

Said a calm yet squeaky voice Giyuu had heard from his right shoulder. He was staring off and had his attention at something that he saw, when all of a sudden he heard that voice of no other than, Shinobu Kocho. Giyuu had taken one glance at the purple and black haired woman and looked downwards at the floor. He had no interest nor intention of speaking or engaging in any form of way at the moment. He just stayed his normal, quiet self.

“Let’s be friends Tomioka-San!!” Shinobu said with her normal warm smile. Giyuu had continued to ignore her, and the statement she had made. He was content on staying quiet, and that’s what he was sticking to. Meanwhile, Nezuko and Tanjiro in the background of the situation, we’re starting at them like their life depended on it, anticipating for Tomioka’s answer.

“Hey hey, Tomioka-San?” Shinobu had asked with genuine question in her eyes. Whilst, Giyuu had his head down, staring at the floor with his eyes closed. Everyone thought he was asleep. Tanjiro, Nezuko, and Shinobu we’re all waiting for a response, or a gesture of some kind.

“Hey hey hey! Are you listening Tomioka-San?” Shinobu questioned, sounding agitated. Giyuu refused to leave his position with a sigh.

That’s when it hit him.

An electrifying shock that went through his nervous system, to his entire body and, to his ribs. A sensation he hadn’t felt in years. And surprisingly.

It tickled.

“Poke Poke, Poke Poke.” Shinobu said, aiming at his side while smiling widely. Instead of having his eyelids rest on his eyes, he slammed them shut and held back stifled giggles with the form of something that looked like a smile, that he tried so desperately to fight. Oh, but how it tickled.

“I guess you chose the hard way huh, Tomioka-San?” Shinobu said with a smiling face. She knew exactly what she was doing, and Giyuu did as well.

“K-Kohocho, what are you doing.” Giyuu said, immediately grabbing the finger she was poking him with. His face was a light pink from embarrassment, and Shinobu was had no mercy when it comes to teasing.

“Oh my, Tomioka-San! Are you coming down with a fever? You know, laughter is the best medicine!” Shinobu stated using her free index finger, and other fingers to continue her attack on the poor water hashira. She was well aware of Tomioka being ticklish. She was the only one who knew. Though, she found out by accident. You see, one day, Shinobu had asked for training practice with Tomioka, and Tomioka had accepted. They were both doing quite well at the training until Shinobu decided to try his pressure points. she had pressed too lightly (because it was practice and she had no intent to harm him) and Giyuu immediately fell to the floor with a: “Dohon’t do that ever again.”

“KOhocho quihit ihit!” Giyuu had said in between giggles, trying his best not to smile, but it was no use.

Meanwhile, Tanjiro and Nezuko just stood there in pure shock. They had never seen Giyuu smile, but TICKLISH?! it was just absurd!!

“Tomioka-San, as my duty as your friend I have to do whatever it takes to help you! And it seems like your coming down with a fever!” Shinobu had said with a sweet smile, Shinobu had much experience with this, seeing as her fingers are swift and agile enough to make poisons for demons, of course she had to be good at tickling. Especially with two sisters. Kanae used to always tickle her when she was being stubborn as well, and she would do the same right back. She practically grew up with this kind of thing.

“ihi’m nohohot SIHick!!!” Giyuu had stated. He was officially giggling at this point. He felt a sudden shock go to his hips, and felt his knees give out.

“My, My, Tomioka-San! How could you ever say you don’t have a fever, when your legs have given out!! Don’t tell me you’re paralyzed!! I suppose I must run a test!” Shinobu said, scribbling her fingers into every last place her fingers could reach without being swatted away. To be honest, she was laughing a bit herself. When she first found out, she was surprised at first as well. I mean, for someone who doesn’t smile or talk much, how do you expect them to be ticklish?

“Knohohock ihihit ohoff ShinoBUHU!!!” His sentence was cut off when she started to repeatedly squeeze his thighs gently. She was so precise with every movement of her hands and fingers. Almost like a swarm of butterflies were mindlessly tickling him. And boy, did it tickle.

“But I can’t Tomioka-San! Friends help each other! And it seems like you really need it right now!” She stated, emphasizing each word with a squeeze. “Kocho Kocho Kocho! Get it? Kocho?” Shinobu asked with the same warm smile she’s had this entire time. She was definitely enjoying this herself. Watching Giyuu smile every once in a while made her feel happy. Like she had accomplished something extravagant.

“NAHAHAHAT FUHUHUNNY!” Giyuu stated. He had completely lost it at this point. There was no point of resisting. He threw his head back and just accepted it. There was nothing he could do. She had gone for his worst spot, Tanjiro and Nezuko were still there, laughing and giggling at the sight, and she was too fast for him to try to move her fingers. Besides, it felt nice to smile sometimes.

“Are you sure it’s not funny? You sure are laughing a lot at it!” Shinobu said, giggling along with Giyuu. She was glad to see him finally smiling for once, always staying quiet, calm and collected even when she had said things to him that would’ve ticked any normal person off. Shinobu had immediately stopped the tickling when she heard Giyuu’s laughter go silent. She allowed Tomioka a moment to catch his breath before offering a hand to help him up and dusting herself off.

“I’ll tell you again Tomioka-San! Let’s be friends!” She said with a smile so sweet it could give you cavities. Giyuu immediately straightened his face back to what it was before the incident .“sure thing”. He said, looking away, Red from embarrassment.

Shinobu smiled widely. “Great!! Oh! Tanjiro, Nezuko?” Tanjiro immediately straightened his posture. “Yes ma’am?” He asked with genuine question. “Now you know what to do when he’s being stubborn!” Shinobu said with a wink. And she was off.

Tanjiro tried to poke Giyuu’s side, but was stopped but a hand grasping his finger.

“Don’t even think about it.”

A/N: I AM SO SORRY THAT I HAVEN’T BEEN POSTING LATELY, SAT’S SUCK, SUMMER HAS BEEN REALLY BUSY AND I’m sorry. I promise to post more. BUT I REMEMBER LIKE THIS ONE.

#kny giyuu #this is so cute help #demon slayer #tickle prompts

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16woodsequ · 1 year

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Spelling mistakes I make on an annoyingly consistent basis:

Typing “know” as “no” and vice-versa

What I think is happening: Brain: K is silent, therefore, word is the same.

Seriously, just because the K is silent doesn’t mean the are words interchangeable, get it together brain.

Typing “now” as “know” and vice-versa

see previous point

Adding “ly” to words like “actual” and “honest”

I don’t even know I am doing it, my brain has just spelled the word “actually” too many times. It’s muscle memory.

Typing “taking” as “taken” and vice-versa

I always mix up “ing” and “en” words, I think the words sound too similar for my brain as I type

Typing “everytime” instead of “every time”

“everyone” is one word, why not this???

Typing “to” instead of “too” when I very much know that grammar rule

Mixing up “accept” and “except”

the sounds are too similar for my brain. I cannot do it.

ADDING “E”s TO THINGS THAT DON’T NEED E’s

thank you 12+ plus years of French, now I can’t spell in either language

Typing “shock” as “shoke” and “choke” as “chock”

just, straight up mix up those two spellings

Trying to figure out “lose”, “loss”, and “loose”

takes me way too long to figure out which one to use, trying to read those words properly gives me an aneurism

Trying to figure out “chose”, “choses”, “choice”, and “choose”

It does not help that French has “choisis”. I blame French for everything

typing “strike” as “strick”.

honestly, not sure what is going on with that one, but I blame French again.

“BREATH” and “BREATHE”

full discloser, it is only in the recent year or so that I have managed to consistently type the correct word for these

THE E MAKES THE E SAY E

Adding or substracting the wrong amount of “N”s in words like “shining” (shinning), “dining” (dinning), “dinner” (diner) etc.

the word shining has ONE “n” because shinning has to do with the shin bone, and we have two of those

Typing TAPPING AS TAPING

no, we are not trying to tape our fingers on the table. It’s tap!! We are tapping them!!!

Typing “grip” as “gripe”

Again!!! With too many!!! Es!!!!

Typing “THAT”??? instead of “THE”??? (and vice-versa)

my brain gets to the “th” and the muscle memory kicks in and it is a 50/50 shot which word will come out in the end

FORGETTING THE SECOND “F” IN “OFF”

just, move on before finishing the word apparently

Typing “trial” as “trail” and vice-versa

those words always take me an extra second to make sure I’ve got them right

Distinguishing between “scaring” and “scarring”

I am noticing a pattern with difficulty with double consonants

Typing “tion” instead of “ting” in words like “completion” (completing)

again, muscle memory is the death of me

Typing “down” instead of “done”

muscle memory. Again. In its defense, I get three out of the four letters correct.

Typing “simple” instead of “simply”

Typing “presence” as “presents” and vice-versa

again, with the similar sounding words

Typing “least” instead of “last”

very much not the same word

Forgetting to put question marks at the end of sentences???

SPENDING FAR TOO LONG TRYING TO FIGURE OUT IF THE WORD I KNOW IS THE ENGLISH OR THE AMERICAN SPELLING

As a Canadian, American spelling creeps in, and French on top of everything is not helpful

For example: Colour - Canadian. Color - American. Couleur - French

Seriously did not know how to spell that word for most of my life

#writing #writing meme #spelling #writers problems #english

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valos-venus-doom · 1 year

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The Foreverlost -- Chapter 3

Linky to Wattpad Chapter List: https://www.wattpad.com/myworks/334118555-the-foreverlost

Three Months Later, May 2018

Ville decided that morning he had spent long enough in the solitude of his home. HIM’s last show was performed New Years Eve and he’d hibernated since then. Two years prior, he’d moved out of his famous tower and into a more modern abode; a spacious, 3 story house that had formerly belonged to a photographer which meant it had tons of windows and plenty of natural light. And he admittedly hadn’t spent any time actually making it a home. The last box had been unpacked the previous day, and Ville had run out of things to do, so he felt it was time to make his presence known to his family again.

Ville planned to grab himself a coffee from the local Starbucks and head down to his father’s shop for a chat. The temperature outside was rather pleasant despite the heavy overcast overhead, he for a moment wondered if he should wait another day in case it rained but shrugged it off. He could always catch an Uber home.

And just as he finished his coffee and reached the block where his father’s shop was, the downpour began. Fuck… he thought, luckily he’d worn a hoodie so he could cover his head. He picked up the pace and reached his destination before getting too soaked. The bell above the door jingled and Ville wiped his wet feet on the mat as he entered, hearing an unfamiliar voice greet him,

“Hi, welcome. Let me know if I can help you find something.”

The sweet voice made him stop dead in his tracks, and he looked up to see a petite woman standing in his father’s usual spot behind the counter. She didn’t look up at him, instead she leaned against the counter looking through a catalog.

“Erm… is Kari around?” Ville asked, having not expected his father to not be here.

The woman behind the counter raised her eyes to meet him, and he couldn’t help but notice how bright and blue they were, “He’s currently out, is there anything I can help you with?”

Damn, I really picked the wrong day to stop being a hermit… Ville thought to himself. “Any idea when or if he’ll be back?” Ville asked her, looking to see if she had a name tag on, she didn’t.

“Yeah, he shouldn’t be too much longer actually. Feel free to stick around.” Kaiya almost went back to the catalog but paused a second, “You’re Ville, right?”

Ville nodded, “I am.”

Kaiya smiled, “I had a feeling. Nice to see you again.” Ville’s face dropped, he looked confused. Kaiya chuckled, “I’m so sorry, you don’t seem to recognize me, I’m Kaiya, I was Jesse’s friend from, like, forever ago.” she explained.

Ville furrowed his brow and thought for a moment and then he remembered her, but vaguely, “Oh right, right. Sorry about that. Now that you mention it, I’m starting to connect the dots.” Ville nodded, “So, you work here now?”

“Yup, I just moved back from Russia and needed a job, so here I am.” Kaiya confirmed, shrugging her shoulders.

Ville dug through the archive of his brain to further remember who she was, but he wasn’t really around much by the time Kaiya started hanging around. When Jesse was 5, Ville was 12 and running around with his future bandmates, getting into trouble and practicing music. His memory was definitely not helped by all the drinking and pot smoking he’d done in those formative years either. Ville moved out by the time Jesse turned 12 and that’s when his music career really took off, he regrettably didn’t spend much time with Jesse or his parents from that point on and Kaiya was just a faint blip on his radar. The quiet little girl that he’d long forgotten about had grown up, and into a very beautiful woman, he remarked in his head.

“Ah, I see.” Ville responded to her. The pair stood awkwardly for a moment before a loud crash of thunder made them both jump slightly. Ville looked outside and noticed the torrential downpour. There was no way he was going back out in that, not right then anyway. So he was stuck here, talking to Kaiya.

Kaiya was aware of who Ville was. His Heartagram logo was all over the store, Kari had photos of his boys in the back office, but Kaiya was never into his music. Truthfully, she probably wouldn’t recognize anything aside from Join Me In Death, a song you couldn’t escape if you wanted to in the early 2000s in Europe. But his “celebrity” status didn’t interest her, Ville was nothing aside from her best friend’s older brother who all but ignored her the entire time she was friends with the Valos.

“Where in Russia were you?” he questioned.

“Moscow.” she answered quickly, too quickly. It sounded rehearsed and Kaiya scrambled to recover, “Well, um, near Moscow.” she nodded.

“How are you enjoying working here?” Ville questioned, “It’s been a long time since I’ve worked here myself.”

“Oh it’s fine. You get the occasional awkward guy who stares for far too long, but they’re harmless.” she stared at him, a hint towards Ville’s intense stare, “I mean, I do have protection just in case they get out of hand.” she deadpanned and held up a gigantic 18 inch purple dildo from behind the counter before cracking a smile a second later.

Ville busted out in a chuckle, “Yeah, the things you find in here are bizarre. They’ve only gotten more bizarre as time has gone on, to be honest. Humans are quite the innovative creatures…”

Kaiya nodded, “Sex has gotten extremely high tech.”

A moment later the bell above the door rang out and Kari came in, shaking off his umbrella and wiping his shoes. “Good god it’s really coming down out there.” he remarked, “Oh, Ville, my boy, good to see you.” Kari greeted his eldest son with a hug. “I see you’ve met Kaiya, my employee of the month.” he joked.

Kaiya smiled, “Hey, I worked hard for that title! It was tough competition this month. Heidi nearly came out on top.”

Ville furrowed his brow, “Who?”

Kaiya laughed, “She’s over there.” and pointed to the lingerie mannequin in the front of the store. “Just because you’re tall and have the perfect body, Heidi, doesn’t mean you’re a better employee!” Kaiya shouted at the inanimate object, making Kari & Ville chuckle.

“Oh she brings life into this place.” Kari sighed happily, making Kaiya beam with pride.

Funny and beautiful… Ville thought to himself.

Kaiya was pulled away to assist a customer and Kari and Ville stood in the back office talking and catching up. The last they’d seen of each other was at HIM’s final show before Ville retreated into his old ways of extreme introversion. “So, she’s Jesse’s best friend?” Ville questioned. Kari nodded in response, “Are they more than that?” Ville pressed.

“No no,” Kari shook his head, “Jesse and Kaiya have both told me they have no interest in each other. Although, it would be cute.”

“She single?” Ville continued, not even trying to hide his interest. She fascinated him.

Kari stared at Ville for a moment, “Yes… but from the sounds of it she just got out of an extremely traumatic relationship. She hasn’t told me much, but I think that last guy was a real fucking asshole.” Kari furrowed his brow, “The poor thing is so jumpy and always looking over her shoulder... I don’t know what the last 20 years have looked like for her, but it doesn’t seem good.” he paused for a moment, “But I digress. It’s not up to me to tell you her business.”

Ville looked over at the security monitor in the corner of the room, Kaiya was unpacking a box that had just gotten delivered. “Guess I’ll just find out for myself.”

“You sure you want to do that?” Kari questioned, “Jesse will never forgive you if things go south with her when she just came back into his life. And if I’m being honest, neither will your mother and I.”

Ville looked at his father with a questioning look, “You act like she’s your daughter.”

“She might as well be.” Kari shrugged. “But I have a feeling she’ll be a tough nut to crack, she doesn’t seem interested in any man right now, so good luck with that…. Oh, and your mom wants to have a family dinner on Friday night, if you could grace us with your presence that would be terrific.”

A Few Days Later

Ville approached his parent’s front door, a bottle of wine in hand; hopefully a peace offering for his mother who would no doubt be irate with him for staying away for so long. He put his hand on the doorknob to find it locked. Peculiar, he thought, his parents almost never locked their doors when they were home. He knocked gently, a confused expression on his face.

“I got it!” he heard a youthful female voice call out. The door swung open revealing the stunning, bright-eyed brunette standing on the other side. “Hello.” She greeted breaking Ville of his daze.

“Oh, um, hi.” Ville stammered. He hadn’t expected her to be there.

“You… gonna come in?” Kaiya asked, holding the door open a bit wider.

“Erm, yeah.” Ville walked in past her, mentally kicking himself for being so awkward around her. Her looks and charms were having an effect on him that he usually didn’t have.

“It’s Ville. He brought wine.” Kaiya called out in a singsong voice to the rest of the house before walking back into the living room to join Kari and Jesse who were both watching boxing. Ville noted how comfortable Kaiya was in his parents’ home. She was answering their door and running about like she’d lived there her whole life and plopped down right in between his brother and father, neither of them acting as though it was out of the ordinary.

Ville entered the kitchen to find his mother cooking, he sat the wine down on the counter and hugged her. “You need any help?” he asked, knowing full well his mother would say no.

She side-eyed him playfully. “You’d just be in the way.” She smiled and tapped his cheek affectionately.

“So, does Kaiya live here now or..?” Ville questioned, lowering himself into a kitchen chair.

Anita shook her head, “No. She’d been staying with Jesse. It’s adorable, they still act like they’re 15.” she smiled nostalgically. “Making up for lost time I suppose.”

A little bit later, everyone was seated around the Valo’s dining room table casually chit-chatting. Ville chose not to speak but to listen to the conversation going around the table. He caught himself more than once staring at Kaiya, and eventually, she began catching him. Despite herself her eyebrows would furrow in response to a near perfect stranger staring at her. Ville blushed and took a large swig of his wine.

Stop being so fucking awkward, you twat… He mentally cursed himself. He felt like he was 13 years old again with a schoolyard crush; ridiculously awkward and too shy to talk to her. He began to also fear that there was more to her and Jesse’s relationship than just friendship. They were awfully talkative and giggly around one another, their banter was chock full of inside jokes that no one else around them understood, they even finished each others’ sentences. Maybe his father was wrong when he said that they were never anything more than friends? If his little brother had feelings for Kaiya that were even remotely beyond platonic she was forever off of the menu, he could never do that to Jesse.

As the family ate, Ville noticed that Kaiya was pushing her food around her plate, staring at it intently. Every forkful of food she took, she looked it over and smelled it before eating it. Every time she picked up her wine glass she looked inside of it before taking a sip.

It was bizarre behavior, and Kaiya seemed to know that because she appeared to be trying to be as discreet and inconspicuous as possible. Ville looked up to see if anyone else was looking at her. His parents didn’t seem to notice, but Jesse caught his eye. Jesse glared at Ville and slowly shook his head. Ville knew what his brother meant; “Stop staring at her, you’re being rude.”

Suddenly his mother broke the silence, “You all have no idea what this means to me. To have all of my children in one place again.” Anita gushed, smiling happily.

Kaiya bit her lip and blushed, flattered that after all this time that not only was she welcome in the family, but they still considered her a daughter. “Wouldn’t want to be anywhere else, mama.” Kaiya replied.

“We need to do this more often!” Anitai exclaimed. “I want two Fridays a month to be ‘family dinner night,’ understood?”

“Yes ma’am.” Jesse and Kaiya answered in unison, catching Ville off guard.

“Uh, well, I guess I can’t say no at this point.” Ville muttered. Anita ignored her eldest son’s remark. “Now once my son wises up and marries Kaiya I can officially and legally call her my daughter.” She smiled toward Jesse and Kaiya. Ville looked inconspicuously towards the pair, this was going to be the sign he needed to see how they actually felt about one another.

Jesse and Kaiya turned to look at each other nervously, both of them blushing. Not a second later they both burst out laughing, Kaiya covered her face as she turned red.

“See, dear? I told you.” Kari muttered to his wife before taking a sip of wine.

Jesse wiped a tear of laughter from his eye and stifled his giggles, “That’s not going to happen Ma. It would be too weird. I love Kaiya, but not like that. I don’t really want to see you naked, Kai. No offense.” He added and glanced at Kaiya.

“None taken, the feeling is more than mutual.” Kaiya replied wide-eyed, the crimson color leaving her face. “It would feel wrong.” “SO wrong…” Jesse shuddered. “I mean, it’s not like the thought never crossed our minds.” Jesse shrugged.

Kaiya nodded in agreement after taking a bite of her food. “We were each other’s first kiss when we were 13. We just thought we’d try it out, see if there was any ‘spark,’ ya know?”

“And?” Ville asked, sounding a bit more interested than he would have liked.

“There wasn’t.” Kaiya and Jesse answered once again in unison. Ville found how in-sync they were to be bizarre. Endearing, for sure, but bizarre nonetheless. They were like twins.

“We both agreed that we didn’t want to ruin our friendship by forcing something that just wasn’t there.” Jesse affirmed, Kaiya nodding in confirmation as she chewed.

Ville had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from grinning. That was precisely what he wanted to hear. Now that he knew that his brother had no interest in Kaiya she was fair game. But he did want to get permission from Jesse first. His brother’s opinion meant a lot to him.

At the end of the night, Kaiya was helping Anita and Kari clean up from dinner, while Ville and Jesse stood outside taking in the air. Ville no longer smoked, but Jesse still did. “You planning on quitting?” Ville asked, drinking a cup of coffee his mother had made him.

Jesse nodded, “Yeah, mom is pissed off that I started up again. Just after my breakup with Hanna…” he trailed off, letting his tone speak for itself. It was a terrible relationship and an even worse breakup.

Ville nodded understandingly, “I get it.” he paused and took a deep breath before asking the questions he was dying to ask. “So… Kaiya.”

“Yeah?” Jesse eyed him suspiciously.

“What’s her deal with the food?” Ville asked, trying to not sound insensitive.

Jesse had to make sure he didn’t reveal too much information and he hadn’t really thought about an excuse for her quirks. “I really don’t know. It’s a thing from her childhood, her parents weren’t that great at feeding her.” he lied, knowing his explanation left a lot unanswered. “Trauma response, I guess.” he shrugged, hoping that would be a good enough answer for Ville.

However, Jesse knew full-well why Kaiya did that. He caught on the first night she came back, she inspected her plate, cup and every piece of cutlery before using it. Food she would pick apart and make sure it was edible before each bite. Kaiya explained that in prison, she never knew what was in the food. Finding insects and mouse droppings was not rare, mold was common, and if a guard was feeling particularly cruel, they’d tamper with the food in a number of repulsive ways. It was now a deeply ingrained habit for Kaiya and having only been on the outside for a few months, it seemed old habits were hard to kill.

Ville didn’t push. His question wasn’t fully answered but it was enough. “That’s unfortunate.”

“Go ahead.” Jesse blurted out, without looking towards his brother.

“What?” Ville questioned.

“Go ahead and ask what I know you’re going to ask.” Jesse rolled his eyes. When Ville didn’t say anything he continued, “You want to ask Kaiya out.”

“Would she be interested?” Ville asked.

Jesse laughed, “No. I’m being honest with you, no. She’s going to tell you no.”

“Oh.” Ville sighed.

“But…” Jesse began again, “I’m going to encourage you to ask her regardless.” “Do I look like a glutton for punishment?” Ville furrowed his eyebrows and looked at Jesse suspiciously.

“Yeah, but that’s not why. I deeply care about Kaiya and I need her to heal from this fucked up breakup that she just went through.”

“Yeah, Dad mentioned he was a blowhard asshole.” Ville replied.

“No, he–” Jesse was about to say too much and stopped himself. He knew that Kaiya’s late boyfriend was not an asshole, nor was he abusive, but the story that he and Kaiya had to maintain was that they had a terrible breakup, so he had to recover, “It was complicated, but yeah, Kaiya has been through a lot. A lot of trauma, a lot of pain, she needs to be treated well…” he trailed off. “And I know you, you’d treat her well. I trust you, you’re the only guy who I feel comfortable with her being with. Mostly because I know where you live, and mother fucker I would end you.” Jesse threatened.

Ville was confused, “So… you know she’ll reject me, but you want me to ask her regardless… Color me confused because none of that makes sense.”

Jesse smiled, “Ask her out. She’ll immediately say no, she’ll come home and tell me that my creepy brother–”

“Creepy brother?!” Ville exclaimed, tone ripe with offense, “Excuse me?”

Jesse laughed and continued, “She’ll tell me that my creepy brother asked her out, and I’m going to make her accept. Trust the process, bud. I got you.”

#vv #ville valo #ville valo fanfiction #ville valo fanfic #ville valo fan fiction #ville valo fan fic #him #h.i.m #the foreverlost #heartagram #aikuisten lelukauppa #jesse valo #fan fic #fanfic #fan fiction #fanfiction

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castle-dominion · 10 months

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6x2 dreamworld

Castle still hasn't told becks that esposito thinks dreamworld is a thing. Or yk say "I heard abt it for derek storm"

There was only one existing "vial" of toxin? I mean like...

& then isn't US healthcare rly bad?

Is castle allowed in the investigation now?

"You told esposito?"

I think BRONSON thought it did

Lol castle, who is dying, is doing better than beckett.

Only an hour or two? how close is their thinking? he has 10-12 hours living & then another 1-2 hours?

reporter's gonna be dead

sleep when I'm dead" lol

RC: And if it doesn’t work out, I’ll be out of your hair by the end of the day.

RmC: Is he always such a character?

You know, cops lie to you all the time. Be careful.

Just having this convo in a coffee shop?

IDK much abt this, I've seen it before & I'm still confused.

RmC is talking so slowly...

Oh heck yeah, the sec of defense is SO hiding stuff.

He has a slight lisp, his S is an SH.

Beckett is too much of a homicide cop, she talks to people firmly instead of being polite to this guy.

If it indeed does exist.

Is he lying when becks asked him abt valkyrie?

how much of the toxin do they HAVE?

Wasn't that beckett's ringtone in earlier seasons?

If I'm not there tomorrow <3 <3 <3

Martha KNOWS something is wrong.

Oof those "see you tomorrow"s dsjlskdjfslkdjf

The washington monument lol.

Love dual citizenship.

K but how is the antidote administered?

& how MUCH toxin/antidote is there? Maybe it is a rly small thing & he DOES have it in his backpack but it's so small u didn't notice at first.

RC: Thanks. For letting me be a part of this.

Vilante: When you write your next novel, maybe you’ll find a place for a dashing Colombian American federal agent.

RC: Consider it done.

Rasheed: (laughs) You have a gift for making every fact sound sinister.

That's cops for ya.

But you left AFTER he did...

Oh he was following him & then they talked & then it didn't matter who left first.

Here's the plot: Rasheed saw Bronson holding the dead body of a young woman, Bronson pulled a gun on him, they kept it a secret.

Bronson thinks rasheed told someone.

He could come up with a lie like that, plenty of people do.

Btw bronson was in that car for ages, what if he exposed other ppl to that toxin babes? Also did they ever figure out who planted the aeresol toxin in his car?

"We've been trying to highlight things for years, we didn't realize that the highlighters were black" -the fbi

Not since typewriters. i & W. & the music too.

Love a good old transcript. https://dustjackets.fandom.com/wiki/6x02_transcript

INT – TWELFTH PRECINCT BULLPEN

KEVIN RYAN and JAVIER ESPOSITO exit the elevator.

KEVIN RYAN:

I just always thought that you and I would have kids together.

All the fangirls: wHat.?

(clipped)

Martha going to rysposito for help <3

Castle & his bad coffee lol.

It is his death, he can joke about it if he wants.

Lol typing.

Dun dun dun, valkyrie is the servant girl who is getting killed in there. Whoops.

Dun dun dun he mentioned dreamworld.

Vilante is me: But if he wanted to silence Bronson, why would he go to the trouble of setting him up first? And none of this explains the theft of the toxin.

So confused.

lmao waterboarding the truth out of secretary reed.

My man has a NICE house

"the woman whose husband is dying"

Ask him "then tell me who to actually ask about!"

rysposito calling beckett & castle's mom & all this stuff...kjsdkfhsjdk

She's smart but risked her job on it.

Also yeah castle is getting more shortness of breath, how long does he have now?

The reporter boy claimed the body of the servant agent?

Why would the reporter, Brad, have given up his information earlier in the episode then?

It's one of the oldest motives there is.

RC: I was given less than a day to live just a little less than a day ago

(i shouldn't find that funny)

Man has a nice apartment, too bad Castle doesn't have his writer vest tho

WOULD he have all that info in his house? is he that messy?

But maybe becks should call the doc anyway so he can administer it bro...

Oh now that is sick (so cool & poetic tho)

You & your stupid hunches <3.

Looks a bit like the guy from the show mum & lil bro are watching. oliver queen.

The sugarbowl

Also nobody knew he had an appointement for an interview with the wife? rly?

Castle *falls*

anTidote babe.

Oh Castle is going to wake up & trip this guy lol.

Oh it's mccord,, not castle. too bad. Good how she trusted her partner's hunches tho.

So castle almost dies & then makes a full recovery?

INT – HOSPITAL

KB: Castle.

Her voice is soft over the beep of the machines. She reaches out to stroke his neck.

KB: Castle.

He hums as he travels back into wakefulness.

KB: Hey.

She smiles.

RC: Hi. I had the strangest dream and you were there.

MR: Oh, thank God.

AC: Hey Dad.

RC: And you were there and you were there.

They grab is hand.

Pi: Hey Mr. C. I did some healing reiki on you. Looks like it worked.

RC: (dryly) And you were there.

(I love Pi. Lives in amsterdam where shrooms & weed are legal, lived in costa rica & went home with Alexis even tho he doesn't have a passport, later on becomes a bee counting biologist or smth, lights up sage, practices reiki, he is a very culturally learned man.)

Ooh th emusic djfksldfsdkjflskjd

Beckett chill, it's like when you let drug dealers off the hook bc they help with your murder investigation. You do that all the time.

That's what partners do <3 <3 <3

I think I got some clips from this one...

#castle 6x2 quote #castle 6x2 spoilers #castle 6x2 #the valkyrie/dreamworld episodes

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deadcactuswalking · 2 years

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 12/11/2022 (’Her Loss’ by Drake & 21 Savage)

“Anti-Hero” by Taylor Swift reigns at #1 for a third week on the UK Singles Chart, and let’s just thank God it isn’t Drake. Welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

Rundown

I don’t know what it is about Drake, but he always seem to command just... bizarre weeks for the UK Singles Chart. You’ll see with our egregious amount of returns but it’s clear in the sheer amount of notable dropouts – songs exiting the UK Top 75, which is what I cover, after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40 – that the charts were really shaken up. The aforementioned dropouts are a massive list today – no Drake pun intended – so I’ll rattle them off, apart from the one-week wonders which still include “In My Head” by the late Juice WRLD. Otherwise, the list includes “I Ain’t Quite Where I Think I Am”, “Body Paint” and “There’d Better be a Mirrorball” by the Arctic Monkeys – yes, all three – “Living Without You” by Sigala, David Guetta and Sam Ryder, “BREAK MY SOUL” by Beyoncé with uncredited vocals from Big Freedia and “Summertime Sadness” by Lana Del Rey. Of course, we also have the Halloween tracks leaving, including “Somebody’s Watching Me” by Rockwell with uncredited vocals from Michael Jackson, who also sees “Thriller” leave the chart, alongside “Ghostbusters” by Ray Parker Jr. and “Monster Mash” by Bobby “Boris” Pickett and the Crypt-Kickers. I’m honestly not sure if the premature dropouts for regular charting songs, or even some of the long-term proven hits like “BREAK MY SOUL”, will get a second chance due to all of the Christmas songs coming back soon enough.

I mention Christmas because already, we see “Last Christmas” by Wham! at #71 and “All I Want for Christmas is You” by Mariah Carey at #56. The rule for Christmas songs is that I only list the top three until they get into the top five, as well as listing the returns when they happen, but I will never track every single song as a gain because that is ridiculous. Apart from those, we see regular singles hop back in like “Crazy What Love Can Do” by David Guetta, Becky Hill and Ella Henderson at #75, “go” by Cat Burns at #74 and “Until I Found You” by Stephen Sanchez at a new peak of #72. Thanks to TikTok, Billie Eilish’s “TV” returns to #58, originally peaking at #23 earlier this year, and thanks to Joji’s new album SMITHEREENS, the lead single “Glimpse of Us”, originally peaking at #12, is back at #34. What is probably most fascinating is the inexplicable return for “Mockingbird” by Eminem, which is a classic song from Eminem’s most unfairly derided album. It originally peaked at #4 in 2005 and is looking to make a return to the top 40 as it’s back at #48 this week. I’ll have to assume it’s due to TikTok, but what a bizarre choice.

We move then into our notable gains, which isn’t exactly a large list but it does include “Just Wanna Rock” by Lil Uzi Vert at #52, “Victoria’s Secret” by Jax at #43, “Warm” by K-Trap all the way up to #18 thanks to a Skepta remix, and then we see two new entries into our top 10, alongside the three new arrivals (we’ll get to those). These are “messy in heaven” by venbee and goddard. at #9, the first credited top 10 hit for both, and – with a heavy heart – I announce that “Made You Look” by Meghan Trainor is at #8, becoming her first top 10 since 2015! God help us.

As for Off the Charts, it is increasingly difficult to find much time and effort dedicated to listening to new releases, and I don’t want to increase the burden especially when I run out of interesting things to say. I will do one last rendition of the section, probably on a Christmas week, just to cover everything and anything from pretty much late October onwards, just to get it all out of the way. Great music does get released at the end of the year, there’s a 10/10 R.A.P. Ferreira album to prove it that I will at some point find time to discuss. That’s not for this episode, however, as instead, we can talk about the top five on the UK Singles Chart. This week, it consists of “Major Distribution” by Drake and 21 Savage debuting at #5, “Miss You” by Oliver Tree and Robin Schulz at #4, another debut from Drake and 21 with “Rich Flex” at #3 and of course, “Unholy” by Sam Smith and Kim Petras at #2 and “Anti-Hero” at the very top. Now that all that is out of the way, I suppose it’s time to focus on our new arrivals.

NEW ARRIVALS

#64 – “Moving All Around (Jumpin’)” – Schak and Kim English

Produced by Schak

I’ll be transparent: I put most of my energy into Drake this week, so I’m going to try and blast through these first five before we get to the main event. To start with, we have an interesting remix. Kim English was a soul singer who ended up making house and dance-pop in the 1990s, having a couple minor hits from 1994 to 1996. In 2001, she released “Jumpin’ & Bumpin’”, and whilst the Michael T. Diamond club mix may be a bit shrill and dated, its unrelentless fun across 10 whole minutes is to be commended, and Kim English’s performance is impressive as your typical house diva. Schak, a DJ from North England, must have found this earlier this year as we now have a remix that is surprisingly solid and crisp in its vocal mix for a remix of a song from 2001. It honestly feels like a throwback to that era in its synths that come clambering onto the typical Eurodance-esque house percussion, and it’s honestly unfortunate that it doesn’t try more considering the pulsing bass is a solid foundation... but it’s not an interesting take on the sound and at its worst is just mildly annoying. Carried by a great performance by the late Kim English, I can see this being a hit on pure nostalgia but I’m not particularly a fan.

#60 – “10:35” – Tiesto and Tate McRae

Produced by LOSTBOY, Ryan Tedder and Tiesto

Can you really credit yourself as the main artist when two thirds of your role is filled by other producers? Besides that food for thought, we don’t exactly have an interesting song from Tiesto here. Tate McRae is still a completely uninteresting vocalist, especially over this kind of dour, nightclub house that she tends to just attach to rather than actually be fully submerged as she probably needs to be. It’s a really awkward fit, especially in that bassy slap house drop that feels so stock, especially with the synths and drum fills brought in seemingly at random. This doesn’t feel finished exactly, and it’s not even that sticky of a hook so unless it fills some kind of niche that is breezy dance-pop that doesn’t even sound like it’d fit in a club, I don’t see this doing much. Knowing my rate with predictions, this’ll be the one song to survive Christmas by December.

#46 – “Never Gonna Not Dance Again” – P!nk

Produced by Max Martin and Shellback

I tend to forget that P!nk exists. She made some of the best pop music of the 2000s, and also some of the worst, but I tend to respect her ambition within the genre and much like Avril Lavigne the same decade, her ability to handle something new and unfamiliar, and unlike Avril, she had the maturity and grit to convincingly sell a lot of it. In the 2010s, her music grew to sappy and middle-of-the-road pop yet I’ve never really hopped off the train entirely. This new track has Max Martin on production so had a great deal of promise, but I’m not entirely sure I can endorse it. For a song about how she’ll never lose her ability to dance and have fun through all the hardships, it doesn’t really have any weight or any stakes to make it mean all that much. The cute sandy disco groove is fine until it becomes over-compressed in the chorus, and the writing just feels standard, which is disappointing considering the three pop giants at the helm. P!nk as a performer rarely disappoints, and she brings her signature confidence to this, but it really is the saving grace to an otherwise just fine, serviceable song that occasionally gets a tad cringeworthy considering the middle-aged “bruh” thrown into that post-chorus. The nods to Whitney Houston and Gloria Gaynor are a bit tacky too but it’s not offensive and it’s just cute enough to pass.

#39 – “Die for You” – Joji

Produced by Jacob Ray, Wes Singerman and Tay Dex

I’ve yet to listen to Joji’s new album SMITHEREENS but considering the leap in quality that existed between his debut and his sophomore effort, I am excited to, and the subtle lead “Glimpse of Us” has just grown on me since, so how is this new track faring? Well, it’s another breakup lament, with your typical indie keys and a soulful vocal from Joji that creates a contrast between him and the synths that is almost Tyler, the Creator-esque. With that said, I kind of wish that the song was drumless, since the percussion that is here feels pretty weak and unable to hold the weight of the careening synths that warp all over them, which is a problem Tyler never has. The tension that should be in a song about Joji still recovering from a breakup and still having that passion despite forcing himself to move on... doesn’t really exist here, and whilst I get the more reflective tone and definitely appreciate the synth palette, it essentially just feels a bit too damp for me to really get into. This is far from bad, but with a more complex set of drums, this could be devastating... in the good sense.

#33 – “I’m Back” – Fredo

Produced by CDS and Handz Beatz

Well, he’s back. In typical Fredo fashion, his comeback is accompanied by a long freestyle, this one seeping over six minutes with only two verses spread over one beat. Fredo will always be more compelling in his writing than your typical UK rapper because of his inherent focus on the come-up being so clear and controlled, mostly because of how smoothly and confidently Fredo spins every topic into his pride. Sure, he may spend a lot of his time flexing, but it’s always at least in part aspiration, and immediately contrasted with something really grimey. His delivery on here is venomous, especially over the first beat with its warping bass synths and elevated trap beat that sounds like a perfect mix between the crisper percussion and cloudier production that is just how trap beats should always be mixed. The rhyme schemes are intricate and focused, but delivered in such an impressively effortless way that my main complaint is that it may just be too long for average consumption, even if it feels a lot shorter than it actually is, largely due to the subtle shifts in the twinkling first beat, and the charming, mostly humble wordplay and punchlines dropped into his bars. I wish there were more bits of wordplay, but I think it would distract from the sheer dominance Fredo demonstrates on this track, especially on that second beat, which isn’t as good but demands a menace that Fredo can absolutely bring amidst the mythical vocal loops. Honestly, UK trap doesn’t get much better than this. It’s not going to last because... well, it’s damn near seven minutes, but considering the state of the trap-rap I’m about to talk about, please check this one out.

#7 – “Circo Loco” – Drake and 21 Savage

Produced by Boi-1da, Tay Keith and 40

“One More Time” by Daft Punk was voted by Mixmag as the very best dance track of all time. I don’t think there is a single song in EDM that represents its appeal better than the French duo’s honestly basic but incessantly replayable filtered house jam, drowning Romanthony in Auto-Tune as his pleas to never stop the dancing are submerged in a joyous loop sampled from Eddie Johns. There’s something so pure about “One More Time”, which an ingenious use of sampling. The mix may not have aged perfectly but that riff is timeless. “One More Time” appeals to the gut instinct and the fundamental idea of happiness: never wanting it to stop. It is pure feverish escapism in the best way that EDM can be. It makes me sick to my stomach to see and hear what Drake did to this song. I’m not someone to see sampling as ever butchering an original for the sake of a hit – “One More Time” got all the way to #2 using a sample, yet there’s nothing insulting about Daft Punk sampled Eddie Johns. It doesn’t defy the impact or appeal of the original sample in the way that Drake does, and even if that were the case for another artist or even Drake to take the sample and juxtapose it, it could be compelling... but come on, it’s Drake. He called up his three top producers and paid them either way too much or way too little to add some springy percussion onto a slowed-down loop from “One More Time”, with 808s that sound like they’re hitting the wrong note and create this villainous dissonance perfect for Drake to spray his misogyny onto. I don’t have a problem with misogyny in hip hop as it is when it objectifies women because ultimately, whilst this is a societal issue, men are typically willing to collaborate with women for sexy raps nowadays, and the power dynamic in that regard is starting to change (with conscious rappers out there if you just can’t stand it). Drake’s form of misogyny is the male-manipulator type that will hide behind wordplay and his devoted fans just so he can attack female victims of gun violence like Megan Thee Stallion and undermine former co-signs like Ice Spice, whilst repeating himself and creating a facade of the mobster that is so incredibly thin that you can practically hear 21’s disappointment in his tuned-out verse. There is a clear power imbalance here – if Megan releases a diss track on Drake, she’s the villain. If 21 or any of Drake’s collaborators take an issue with the line, they’re traitors. Drake is practically untouchable and using his platform to take weak shots is embarrassing – he should know better at this point of having decades in the industry. I know that it’s all for attention – it’s the same reason that he’s been posting hentai on Instagram and releasing those fake PR videos – but why would he take nearly exclusively women down with him? Sure, he takes a sub at Kanye but not for the actual anti-Semitism or right-wing coat-tailing that he will freely criticise the Supreme Court for on other tracks – even if it’s just to get in women’s pants. As a song, detached from the lyrics – if you can even do that considering how basic this production is and how much they spit in the face of the purity that is the joy encapsulated in “One More Time” – it fails, since it barely has a hook, both rappers sound checked out and Drake spends half the time repeatedly embarrassing himself, especially when he interpolates the chorus on the outro... which is a minute long for no reason, degrading the sample further but not in a way that’s cloudy or interesting. As an attack on women and a demonstration of Drake’s power, it sadly succeeds. I rarely get upset at songs but this is inexcusable. Megan deserves better – this is disgusting.

#5 – “Major Distribution” – Drake and 21 Savage

Produced by SkipOnDaBeat

Well, I may as well use this song as a way in which to talk about the actual album, that being Her Loss, which debuted at #1 this week. This album has barely anything to do with 21 Savage, who serves little purpose other than to usually outshine Drake but with so little effort that he comes off as a commodity – when he actually contributes greatly to a song like on his solo introspective cut, “3AM on Glenwood” or the fun “More M’s”, it ends up pretty great. Instead, this album is a full Drake parade, who after the backlash to Honestly, Nevermind, figured he could recover with 21, and sadly, it worked. He spends most of his time in that same mode, pining over women who supposedly wronged him and mostly wasting listeners’ time, especially with the singing on tracks like “Hours in Silence” and the closer. The best collaborative moments of the album comes when Drake steps into 21’s zone, because even when he’s unconvincing, he can serve as a breather from the violence and still get some excellent hooks in. Elsewhere, Drake seems to be running out of creative juices, as this album, with its writing and production credits furthering this, feels more like Lil Yachty was more creatively invested than 21 Savage and whilst we may pretend to like Yachty now because of “Poland”, we do have to consider the man’s body of work is not impressive, and consists mostly of trend-hopping and bloated albums... of which Drake is also a master. This song itself is basically unremarkable: the slow R&B intro with Drake is charming enough but it quickly devolves into a bassy plod because beat switches are no longer a creative idea and are now a lazy way of constructing “songs”. Drake and 21 flex and threaten intermittently, with them both practically whispering – Drake doing his best 21 impression – and whilst I appreciate some of the vague attempts at interplay and 21’s bars are still vaguely clever, nothing can make this beat or the nothing hook interesting.

#3 – “Rich Flex” – Drake and 21 Savage

Produced by Tay Keith, Vinylz, FNZ and BoogzDaBeast

Don’t worry, I’m not going to moan about this one too much. In fact, as an opening track, it gave me false hope that 21 sparked a fire up Drake’s ass when in reality, the album is your typical low-effort Aubrey. The soul sample the album opens up with is pretty cute alongside Young Nudy’s narration, but I am glad that it immediately gets replaced with eerie Memphis rap vocal loops and warped pads since that is pretty much the dichotomy of 21 and Drake making an album together. It’s a pretty clever production touch, and whilst the initial hook from Drake may seem embarrassing, it’s effectively hyping up 21’s humorous performance, who has seemed to up the sex and violence to 11 for this album, probably because he knows that Drake can’t deliver on that front. With that said, I love Drake’s bridge, which is his typical condescending singing but commands attention before the drop, after which Drake delivers his best verse on the project. The rhyme scheme using abbreviations may seem lazy but Drake has the stoic confidence on this track to deliver it with just enough violence on the driving beat that you can forgive some of his later cringeworthy playfulness. The T.I. interpolation is fun too, so whilst I can’t say that the album as a whole impressed me, I’m glad that the decent opener is the track getting the most attention for now because this really isn’t bad, even if it barely counts as a song in all honesty.

Conclusion

Well, it should be plainly obvious that Drake and 21 Savage get Worst of the Week for “Circo Loco”, and nothing else is really all that offensive so I may as well give the Dishonourable Mention to “Major Distribution”. As for the best, this wasn’t a particularly good week but Drake and 21 also take the Honourable Mention for “Rich Flex” whilst Fredo has a clean sweep for Best of the Week. None of these other singles made me feel much at all, if I’m honest. As for what’s on the horizon, hopefully the charts will quieten down in preparation for the holidays and I can place my time and efforts elsewhere for a month or two. For now, thank you for reading, rest in peace to Takeoff and Aaron Carter, and I’ll see you next week!

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selfworthsam · 2 years

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Imposter Syndrome as a Mother or Father

Author: Self Worth Sam, Imposter Syndrome Expert

Don’t beat yourself up. Instead, take a breath, pour yourself a red (or another) and realize this: you’re doing a f**king great job and though you may not get praise OR feedback, take this moment to say to yourself, I’m a real parent. I know what it’s like. I’m in the trenches daily. And I’m still here! And no one could do it better than me.

Click to Tweet

Help others going through imposter syndrome too by sharing this article.

Confession: I’m not a parent, but I have been a school teacher in elementary, middle and secondary schools for over a decade - and where I may lack knowledge of being a parent specifically, I make up with experience of taking care of hundreds of kids and teenagers 5 days a week, for 40 weeks a year, each year. So, maybe that’s something? Additionally, I’ve spoken with dozens of parents about what it’s like being a parent and (quite often) addressing their self-doubt and self-worth around being a parent. So in this article Self Worth Sam will share with you some insights that will hopefully help you find what you’re looking for as a mother or father, who may experience some imposter syndrome?

Article Body Text

My hat goes off to you. I don’t know how you do it - being a parent - with one, two, three or more of your own kids. As a school teacher, I am convinced your job is more challenging than mine - even if you “only” have your kids to raise.

I emphasize only because I used to be of the opinion that parents “only” have to “deal with” a few kids at most each day, where as me as teacher had to “deal with” “give love and attention to” “teach stuff to” “manage” and “put up with” 30 children day after day (if I was an elementary teacher) and 100+ teenagers day after day (when I was teaching in high schools). BUT! I’ve realize, a mother or father with just 1 child, or 2, or 3, or 4, or 5 kids of their own, wins the age old argument of “who has a more difficult job: teacher or parent?”

You win.

For the very fact that they are “yours”.

Put it this way, I get to go home at 3:15pm Monday to Friday, I get weekends off, and 12 weeks a year, paid, I might add, paid! All the while you must drop them off at school (which I appreciate can be an epic challenge every-single-god-damn-day). Then you must either pick them up at the end of the day, then feed them and attempt to make them do stuff they don’t want to do, all the while they make a tonne of noise and mess.

No doubt we could expand on that summary of being a parent for pages and pages. But here’s the my main point:

What if you’re doing the best you can to be a parent, yet you still feel like you’re not a good enough parent? What if you feel like an imposter? What the f**k then?

There may be guilt around not being a good enough parent.

There may be resentment towards your kids, spouse, your own parents or even society for somewhere along the way “making you” “forcing you” to become a mum or dad.

Maybe you wanted to become a mother or father, and now you’re regretting it AND you feel like you’re sh*t at it?

Maybe you’re doing an alright job, but you still harbor a feeling of self-doubt?

If that somewhat resembles what you’re going through, I can, with total certainty, tell you there is a way to eliminate feelings and thoughts of being a fraudulent parent.

Insight #1

Who are you comparing yourself to? Guilty feelings come from comparing yourself to someone else. So stop. Stop trying to live according to someone else’s values and idea of what a parent is supposed to be. If you can do that, the stress will reside. If you can identify who exactly you are comparing yourself to and additionally, get clear on YOUR values and ideals of what a mother or father is, imposter syndrome and self-worth around parenting will begin to ease.

Insight #2

It’s not your fault you feel like an imposter mum or dad. The reason being is that life simply doesn’t train and prepare anyone for this specific issue of feeling like a fraudulent parent or how to resolve low self-worth as a parent - particularly when you’re practicing all the great parenting tips in books and on YouTube videos. Don’t get me wrong, the value of parenting books and videos are excellent - keep reading and watching them.

Point being, don’t beat yourself up. Instead, take a breath, pour yourself a red (or another) and realize this: you’re doing a f**king great job and though you may not get praise OR feedback, take this moment to say to yourself, I’m a real parent. I know what it’s like. I’m in the trenches daily. And I’m still here! And no one could do it better than me. Additionally, those kids of yours need you. They would sink without you. Never forget: you make a difference to them and that’s worth a lot.

Your value is infinite.

You’re not an imposter - you’re the real thing - an authentic parent.

Or as I liked to tell the many mums and dads that came to parent conferences over the years: you’re a bloody good parent.

I’ll leave you with that. I hope it’s given you something - some light. I hope it’s reminded you of your worth.

Here’s a quote from one of my favorite authors:

“A bit of advice given to a young Native American at the time of his initiation: “As you go the way of life, you will see a great chasm. Jump. It is not as wide as you think.”

-- Joseph Campbell

Want to take the next step to beat Imposter Syndrome and be confident? Take my free online course

Dissolve Imposter Syndrome Today and Future-Proof Your Professional Growth. Book an appointment.

Need a speaker for your podcast, meeting or event to talk about Imposter Syndrome? Download my press kit

Subscribe to this blog.

#imposter syndrome #parenting #fatherhood #motherhood

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lex-munro · 2 years

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[Glitter on the Wet Streets: Part 7] Looking Glass

Another clue to the caper slots into place, and Eddie starts to make himself a proper part of his (weirdly knowledgeable and supportive) boyfriend’s life.

Chapter 7 of (pretty sure?) 12.

Matt knows a thing or two about emotional trauma, Eddie; you’re in good hands.

Warnings: Canon divergent based on the MCU. Oblique spoilers for Black Widow, Wandavision, The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, Hawkeye, Daredevil, Iron Fist, and The Defenders. Implied sexual content. Discussion of abusive relationships (both romantic and platonic) and recovery from abuse. Canon Catholic characters. Matt had to be the grown-up during the Blip, so he had five years to get his issues sorted out. Brief panic attack and an appropriate recovery/focus activity (it’s one my therapist had me use for a long time, focusing on a common word like ‘the’ or ‘on’ in a song on the radio). Language: PG-13 (primetime TV plus s*** and f***).

Pairing: Matt/Eddie, past Eddie/Venom, reference to Foggy/Marci.

Timeline: A year after the events of No Way Home, but (kind of) concurrent with the events of Hawkeye (told you it was canon divergent).

Disclaimer: I doesn’t owns the movies or the characters. Or the assorted objects of pop culture reference.

P.S. A thirty-pound Maine Coon is about bobcat-sized.

P.P.S. Yes, I know Netflix!Danny homeschooled, but this is a different universe where he’s not a complete loser damsel, so he might as well have gotten at least the Private School Experience™.

Looking Glass

Eddie and Venom manage to doodle a profiling sketch of the angry chick from Fat Man Auto Body.

Ned sends a match within half an hour, and Eddie and MJ huddle at the laptop with coffee while they read.

Maya Lopez, whose late father was the guy Eddie had lined up before Kingpin got him blacklisted across the boroughs. Young-ish. Award-winning martial artist, chess champion. Deaf amputee who silenced every doubter.

“Oh shit, oh shit,” Eddie mutters, mind racing. “So we know the Tracksuits had their numbers…cut down, shall we say…by Ronin. I’m betting in this universe, her old man snuffed it and she, having grown up in the Outfit, decided to use organized crime to get revenge. Hence the really disproportionate response to seeing somebody dressed as Ronin—seriously, burning down five apartments? When I saw her, she must’ve been stomping off in a huff over not being able to get her mitts on Hawkeye or Ronin.”

Dat Ass Ready to move your stuff? Downstairs with a friend who doesn’t mind fur in the car. :)

And now Eddie’s picturing Matt dictating a smiley into a speech-to-text program.

“I may vomit purely from the saccharine look on your face,” MJ informs him.

“I feel like you haven’t seen the face you make when Peter does something sweet and clever.”

She narrows her eyes at him. “Fair enough. You need any help carrying your…abundance of material goods?” she asks, waving one slim brown hand at the duffel bag with his only change of clothes (and the giant cat asleep on it).

“I keep forgetting you guys are comedians,” he retorts.

He packs up his laptop, tosses Snowflake onto one shoulder like a napping child, grabs the duffel, and heads for the door.

“Keep the card, okay?” MJ says. “I’m not saying things between you won’t go well, I obviously want them to go well, but, just… Like, maybe you’ll get lonely, or maybe you’ll need to see the board, or maybe you’ll need a cat-sitter or an apocalypse shelter or whatever…”

“You’re a good friend,” he tells her (nearly calling her the dreaded K-word instead). “V and Snow love ya to bits, okay? So we’ll definitely visit. Just…maybe with parental consent first.”

“Shut up, you’re so emotional,” she squeaks out with watery eyes. “Keep me updated on the case, Scoob. Me ‘n the gang’ll throw you a housewarming party this weekend.”

The ‘friend’ Matt brought turns out to be some hippie-looking guy with a Bronco (brown, and Eddie wants to laugh but also wants a ride across the island).

“Holy shit, I thought Jess was exaggerating,” the blond says. “That cat’s almost big enough to ride.”

“He’s a big softy, like his pet human,” Matt scoffs, smacking Eddie’s ass with unerring aim. “All aboard, boys.”

“Sorry, the cat just surprised me,” the stranger goes on, offering his right hand. “I’m Danny, the only friend Matt has who bothers to have a car.”

“In a city where public transit can take you almost anywhere,” snipes Matt.

Eddie shakes Danny’s hand. “I’m Eddie, this is Snowflake. We’re the boyfriend and the asshole-detector, respectively.”

“Had a friend in fourth grade whose dog was like that,” Danny says with a nod. “That dog would tolerate a lot of people, but he hated my best friend’s dad, who turned out to be a murderer and a creep, so…clearly an animal of refined taste.”

“Oof, that’s rough,” Eddie admits. “Well, this is pretty much everything that survived the fire. Just that this overgrown idiot scares off cabbies and Ubers.” He slides into the backseat.

Matt gets in from the other side, and Snowflake rouses enough to abandon Eddie’s shoulder in favor of Matt’s before closing his eyes and resuming his nap.

“The fuff is mine,” Matt declares with a grin. “MJ would be so jealous if she knew.”

When they arrive, Danny shakes Eddie’s hand again and says it was nice meeting him.

He smells weird, Venom grumbles as the truck pulls away.

“Yeah, well…so do you, Mr. Eggs, Chocolate, and Human Brains.”

At the top of the stairs, Matt grins at him again. “Do the honors, since I’ve got the majestic beast?”

“Oh—that’s right, I’ve got your key…”

“You have your key to our apartment,” Matt corrects.

Eddie fumbles it, and it lands with an echoing metallic sound.

Matt’s grin fades a little. “Uh-oh. Is that good heartbeat-skipping or bad heartbeat-skipping?”

Eddie crouches, fingers clumsy as he tries to pick the damn thing back up.

“Eddie? I can’t see your face, remember? You’re gonna have to help me out, here…”

“N-no, babe, it’s fine,” Eddie babbles, blunt nails scraping until he manages to get an edge of the key lifted. “It’s…good. I just…the last two exes had me convinced that I’m definitely not easy to live with, and, uh…it’s hard. To believe you actually wanted to, I mean.”

“Let’s get inside, and we can talk it through. V, could you help get the door, please?”

Venom extends a tendril expectantly, and Eddie gives him the key, grateful that he didn’t just work Eddie’s hand like a marionette. He feels like his skin is the wrong size, and that would probably make him freak out just now.

we are okay, Venom assures him quietly. it was in the bump-writing. he wants to keep you.

“Please shut up,” Eddie mutters, blushing so hard even his ears feel hot.

urgh, another worrying surface-temperature change…is this a defensive camouflage?

When they get the door open and step inside, the first thing he sees is the hall table on the left—with a big old-fashioned fishbowl on it. There’s a bow and a gift tag that says ‘for V from Matt.’

He drops his duffel, sets his laptop bag on top of it, and manhandles his boyfriend the rest of the way inside so he can shut the door.

“I take it you saw—” Matt manages before Eddie kisses the smug look off his face.

Between them, Snowflake grumbles and wriggles free to survey his new domain.

“I figure everybody deserves their own space,” Matt finally manages. “You’re part of his life, so you’re welcome here—as long as you behave yourself. We can even get you some stuff to decorate it, if you want. It’s the nitrogen you can’t breathe, right? Peter was conjecturing—”

Eddie kisses him again, but it’s mostly Venom’s fault this time.

KEEPING HIM

“Well,” Matt huffs, hands broad and warm on Eddie’s back. “Guess that means you guys like it.”

Venom gives a happy purr, and there’s a chilly, ticklish sensation in the skin under Matt’s fingers.

“Oh,” Matt says, blinking. “That’s a thing?”

“Hey, are you passin’ secret notes to our boyfriend?” Eddie complains half-heartedly.

“Just making certain suggestions that have me thinking about the spiritual ramifications, because while I am intrigued, I am also Catholic.”

“Right, Foggy mentioned that. I guess I figured, since we’re here, like this, instead of you throwing holy water at us or something…”

Matt shakes his head. “My faith and my sexuality got sorted out years ago. Bisexuality, attraction to men, romance with men, sex with men, all taken care of. I’m even completely fine with you being what many people would term ‘possessed.’ It’s the idea of sex with a brain-eating tentacle-monster from outer space that’s giving me things to work through.”

“Fair. I’m not completely sure where it falls, myself, morally speaking. And I say that as someone who used to have quite a lot of sex with said brain-eating tentacle-monster from outer space.”

A lopsided smile twists its way across Matt’s mouth. “I think there’s a pretty suspect level of lust and general sin involved.”

“And wrath is more your thing.”

“Hey, I went to confession for that yesterday,” Matt protests with a feigned pout. “Though I think my priest still doesn’t think I’m physically capable of the things I confess.”

Something…proud…rumbles around the base of Eddie’s spine. “You tell him the things we been gettin’ up to? Outta wedlock, no less?”

Matt laughs and trails a hand up to hook at Eddie’s nape. “No. None of it’s felt like something I should feel guilty about—and I say that as someone who’s been accused of hoarding misplaced guilt.”

“Maybe I need to get more imaginative, then.”

In a whirl, he’s been spun around and had his back thumped firmly against the closed door.

Venom’s combined lust and hunger twist through Eddie’s gut. Eddie abruptly remembers that brains make more of that chemical Venom likes when orgasms happen.

Tentacles to yourself, he thinks. He said not yet.

Venom gives a sulky growl.

Matt turns the lock and runs his teeth over Eddie’s collarbone. “Bed?” he suggests.

~*~*~

Eddie has to borrow a clean shirt for lunch (he maintains that it’s technically brunch, but Matt has ignored him the three times he’s said so). There’s no way any of Matt’s pants will fit (except maybe sweats, which will not make a great impression with the very protective best friend who first met Eddie with Matt attached to his face), and the bright red tee-shirt makes Eddie a little self-conscious about his gut, but there’s not much helping it.

Your depression has left our body a mess. I will fix our metabolism later.

“Stop—” Matt chides, grabbing his hands, “—fidgeting! I like your belly.”

…perhaps I will only overhaul the organs, then.

Matt flashes a goofy grin.

“What?” Eddie asks, suspicious.

“I like the way you smell in my clothes.”

WE ARE OVERHEATING AGAIN! Is this normal?!

“Yes, V, it’s perfectly normal when I’m blushing so hard I probably look like a tomato,” he mutters.

Laughing, Matt leans in and peppers his cheek with kisses.

“Stahhhhhp,” Eddie grumbles insincerely.

“Nuh-uh. When my boyfriend is being adorable, I have a legal obligation to provide smooches. Pretty sure I could be disbarred for failing to provide adequate smooching.”

“That’s a damn lie.”

“But it got you to relax,” Matt points out.

Snowflake demands food (which Matt and MJ somehow conspired to provide), so Eddie fills his bowl before they head out.

“Remember to lock up,” says Matt. “I don’t really have anything worth stealing, but you’ve got your work computer.”

Foggy meets them in a diner two blocks down. It’s a typical greasy spoon, the kind with cracking vinyl seat cushions and pull-style soda taps and a glass display case full of pies.

Foggy has picked a booth where Matt can put his back to a wall and keep his cane out from underfoot.

“Hi,” Eddie says, feeling awkward as he holds out his hand to shake. At least the guy’s not wearing a suit this time…

Foggy has a firm grip. “Nice to meet under better circumstances. Foggy Nelson.”

“Eddie Brock.”

“Hm,” is all the redhead says, face suspiciously pleasant. “He looks nervous. Is that just his face?”

“Oh, gee, why would he be nervous?” Matt snarks. “He’s just my boyfriend of four days who moved in with me this morning and is having lunch with my long-time best friend.”

“Brunch, technically. Is that one of your shirts?”

“Yes, because his apartment burned down the night before we met. Eddie, please sit down. I promise Foggy’s bark is worse than his bite.”

“He’s making skeptical faces,” Foggy tattles.

“Eddie, get in the booth or I will publicly serenade you, Disney prince style.”

Eddie launches into the booth with his shoulders up around his ears.

“Gonna want to be sparing with that tactic,” Foggy warns. “Guy looks like he might spontaneously combust.”

Is this a thing now? The too-hot embarrassment? It’s sticky; I don’t like it.

Matt slides into the booth and wraps himself around Eddie’s arm. “He has self-esteem issues, so I’m working on positive embarrassment to overcome the fear of public shame.”

“Yuck,” says Foggy. “You’re wearing matching lovey-dovey faces.”

The waitress looks like somebody’s grandma, complete with a bun full of hairpins and bifocals on a chain. She greets Foggy and Matt by name and takes all three lunch orders with efficient little shorthand notes.

“I’m going to be excruciatingly honest,” says Foggy, once she’s gone. “Matt has an eerie ability to find and date beautiful people who are neck-deep in trouble.”

“I’m flattered,” Eddie tries to joke, despite knowing that he looks like a hobo got a shave and a shower.

Shut up, we are beautiful. Matt says so, and now his friend is saying so.

“And as such,” Foggy goes on, “I gotta say, you look like trouble.”

“Ooh, you look like trouble,” Matt says, wiggling his eyebrows. “Sounds sexy, I like it.”

Foggy, on the other hand, is clearly unamused. “You look like the kind of trouble who goes digging in stuff people want buried but writes for a paper of questionable local repute. So. How does a guy like you end up with a bullshit merchant like the Street? You their token ‘gritty investigator’? Or are you on the take?”

Eddie accidentally laughs.

“Well, there’s that laugh he likes so much. Answer the question, please.”

“Well,” says Eddie. “Um. I mean, I dunno how safe it would be to—”

“He’s cleaning the place out, Foggy,” Matt says easily. “One of the editors is dirty. But Eddie makes great bait, to his own admission. Jess and one of the interns have some lovely photographic evidence, I’m told.”

“That’s plenty to go on with,” Foggy says. “Insert plausible deniability here. I hear you went to the Street because the Bulletin wouldn’t take you. No work history.”

Eddie starts twisting one of his rings. “It’s a long story that I promise has nothing to do with organized crime or secret identities.”

“I know about all of that, Foggy,” Matt says mildly, and grabs Eddie’s hands to stop his fidgeting.

“Sorry,” Eddie mumbles, figuring it must be loud and annoying for somebody with super-hearing.

Matt just smiles at him and kisses his cheek. “Foggy, stop being mean. Peter and the kids really like him, and you know how MJ is.”

The guy scoffs. “I am making a very incredulous face right now. And I know she Tased me for not knowing ‘the password’ that time you got hit by a car doing stupid extra-curricular shenanigans.”

“I was helping a lovely little old lady get back her savings from a pyramid scheme,” Matt corrects sternly. “It was well worth it. Zero regrets. And MJ doesn’t trust easily, that’s all. Fulfill your best friend duties: they tell me Eddie has tattoos?”

Foggy holds both hands up. “I’m gonna nip that in the bud. A guy with that much visible ink could have tattoos anywhere, and I’m not going to look at your naked boyfriend to tell you about them.”

“I don’t have that much!” Eddie protests. “Just some coverage on the arms and chest. That’s pretty boring.”

“Aw, you actually believe that,” says Matt.

Their food arrives, and Eddie seizes the excuse to shut up.

more syrup

No.

Yes!

You got a prescription now. You don’t get to ruin food for me again!

His hand very much wants to grab the syrup, but he manages to get a grip on his wrist and shove his hands into his lap.

Foggy stares. “Yeah, so he just did a weird thing like his hand was possessed, and now he looks petulant.”

Matt makes a thoughtful noise. “Remember that nice fish bowl? Remember that I actually have multiple ways to instigate fairly intense sound between four and six kilohertz?”

FINE don’t enjoy your hashed brown potato food correctly.

“Thanks, babe,” Eddie mutters under his breath, and goes back to avoiding the conversation.

“And I’m supposed to act like everything that just happened is normal,” notes Foggy. “I can do normal. How’d you two meet?”

“Bored and horny at Toledo’s,” they both answer.

Foggy puts a hand to his brow and closes his eyes. “Not even Josie’s, but straight on down to the seediest dive bar in the Kitchen to cruise for a hookup. Were you looking for gonorrhea?”

Eddie snorts his cheap coffee.

“Hey, anybody classy enough to wear Varvatos to a shithole like Toledo’s was definitely going to be into safe sex,” reasons Matt, and Eddie nods. “Also, it took him three lines to actually understand I was flirting.”

“You don’t gotta tell him that,” Eddie hisses.

But Matt just traps him with a hand on the opposite side of his face and loudly kisses his cheek.

“Stop,” Eddie protests without any real force.

Matt snickers and kisses him some more, and then they’re giggling like teenagers and Foggy pointedly says, “No, really, stop. Please, you’re giving me cavities. It’s disgustingly cute.”

“Anyway,” says Matt, letting Eddie get back to his food. “The kids needed a late-night favor, we found out they’re our single degree of separation, spent some more time together, et voilà. Also, his cat is amazing.”

“Your bed is amazing,” Eddie retorts. “Think it fixed the crick I always get in my lower back.”

“Okay, objectively, your boyfriend has a cute smile,” Foggy admits. “Crooked teeth, though.”

“Oh, I know,” Matt says smugly.

“Ugh. I should’ve made Karen suffer through this with me…”

“Wife?” Eddie asks, natural curiosity rearing its head.

Matt and Foggy laugh.

“No. No, no, no. Um. Our law firm is Nelson—” Foggy points to himself, then to Matt. “—Murdock, and Page. Karen is the Page part of that, and we’re all happy with that arrangement, despite Matt’s best attempts at matchmaking prior to my happy marriage. Normally, I’d be wearing a lovely ring of which I am immensely proud, but I’m, er, losing some weight at the moment and had to get it resized.” He frowns pointedly at his egg-white omelet and seasonal fruit.

“Just askin’,” Eddie excuses, hands up in apology. “I think it’s a Catholic thing—we got a built-in need to marry off the singles in our lives. We somehow can’t picture people bein’ happy and single.”

“You’re Catholic, too?” Matt pounces.

“Ouch, big flinch,” says Foggy as soon as the expression crosses Eddie’s face.

“Lapsed, babe,” Eddie says a little uncomfortably. “Don’t consider myself especially devout these days…had some bad experiences.”

Matt tilts his head and puts an arm around Eddie’s shoulder. “No, no, it’s okay—you’re okay.”

“You don’t need to soothe me, y’know,” Eddie says, staring at his food as he just moves his fork through it aimlessly. His stomach is in knots, and his brain feels like it’s floating away.

“I do,” Matt replies gently. “Maybe you didn’t notice, but you’re having a panic attack right now.”

Is that why his hands are shaking? But he’s breathing fine, and he’s not crying or in hysterics…

“Don’t overthink it, or it’ll just get worse. Can you hear the song playing over the speakers?”

Jailhouse Rock.

“Yeah,” Eddie says.

“Can you keep count of how many times Elvis says the word ‘the’?”

Eddie shakes his head. The motion makes him dizzy, for some reason. “I’m fine, I’m not panicking.”

Your heart is squishing too quickly.

“Panic attacks are all, like, hyperventilating and stuff,” Eddie insists. But now it’s not just his hands shaking…

“Not for everybody,” Foggy says. “Let’s put the fork down, huh?”

“Eddie, you’re not counting,” chides Matt, leaning close. “Come on, that was a whole chorus just now—so that’s two.”

Sad Sack was sittin’ on a block of stone Way over in the corner weepin’ all alone

“Three,” Eddie says, focusing on the words. “Four.”

Chorus.

“Five. Six.”

Last verse. Nada.

Chorus.

“Seven. Eight. Nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen.”

“Perfect,” Matt says, squeezing him slightly. “See? All better. You’re safe with me. No matter what happens, or where this goes for us, you’ll always be safe with me.”

Eddie nods, but doesn’t quite trust his voice. He made a scene. People are pretending not to look.

“You’re okay,” Matt assures him again. “Go to the bathroom and wash your face. When you get back, let me know if you want to finish your food or just go home. Either way is absolutely perfect. Okay?”

Slowly, Matt pulls him to his feet and nudges him in the right direction.

Fuck fuck fuck. Great impression to make. He told Venom he was better, had his shit together. Clearly not.

No, those memories had nothing to do with me. It’s a tall man with a belt. We’re so small and weak. He smells like old beer. Always angry.

Eddie stumbles through the bathroom door and fumbles to turn on the cold water.

He can’t hurt us anymore. I won’t let him.

“Yeah?” Eddie hisses under his breath. “Who’s gonna stop you from hurting me?”

Matt.

Oh.

He stops. He stares at himself in the mirror. Pale, veins thrumming, eyes glassy. He looks like he did back when Venom was still eating his organs.

Warmth in his spine.

We are okay, my Eddie. All of us, together.

“Right up until I’m too high maintenance…”

He splashes water on his face and pats himself dry with some paper towels. Time to lower that maintenance factor. Go back out, smile, let everybody finish eating.

He hesitates at the bathroom door. He can just barely hear them.

“—spoiling him way too much,” Foggy is saying.

“I’m spoiling a guy whose last boyfriend definitely abused him on multiple levels and who evidently was also abused either by his Catholic parents or his Catholic priest?” Matt retorts.

“Jesus. Matt, the guy needs therapy, not some kind of whirlwind romance. If you’re just looking for someone to fix, you’re gonna get hurt.”

“Even if I’m spoiling him, so what? He deserves it. And maybe, just once, being with me will actually make somebody’s life better.”

“Matt—”

“Foggy. You know I believe God made me the way I am for a reason—if part of that reason is to fall head-over-fucking-heels in love with messy, broken, complicated Eddie Brock, then thank God. I have never felt so…needed, and truly helpful, and good. He gives me hope, Foggy. When he looks at me, he doesn’t see my sins and my failures and all the blood on my hands. All he sees is the cute guy who took a chance on him in a rundown bar when his week was going to shit.”

“Dammit, Matt,” Foggy says in a resigned tone.

A goopy black paw pokes Eddie’s nose, and he swats it away.

He said it out loud. That’s what the bumpy-note said—he is in love with you and he believes it is something his God intended as his purpose. You had no home, so his God made a home for you in his heart.

Eddie rushes back to the sink for more cold water.

Again with the overheating! Your facial capillaries are malfunctioning with alarming frequency since I came back.

“Blushing,” Eddie mutters. “I’m blushing. Didn’t Parker ever blush while you were there?”

Peter’s body is strange, and it frequently generates more thermal energy than the meatsacks of inferior hosts. Like when I fix your broken bones, but all the time. Just slower.

A topic for some other time, when he doesn’t have an amazing boyfriend (and his slightly overprotective best friend) waiting on him.

Let’s go home and snuggle. It will make him terribly smug. Smuggle. No, that is something else…

Eddie makes his way back to the booth. “I’m. Um, I’m okay now. But maybe we could go home anyway? Get settled in?”

“Go,” says Foggy. “I’ll take care of the check and get your leftovers packed up. Your boyfriend is currently pink-cheeked and making heart-eyes.”

“You’re the best, Foggy,” Matt tells him with a smile. “Catch you later.”

“Never inflict your lovey-dovey on me solo again—if I’d known how gross and sweet you two were gonna be, I’d have found some way to trick Karen into taking my place.”

.End.

#fanfic #CANON DIVERGENCE #Venom liked the MCU so I let him stay as a treat #Matt/Eddie #rarepair #fandom: MCU #fic series: glitter (venom MCU)

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simpforhoon · 3 years

Text

just you. (p.js) *ೃ༄

pairing: soft dom! jay × female reader

genre: smut, fluff, soulmate au! kind of angsty it has a happy ending I swear (praise, making out, protected sex, oral (f-receiving)).

summary: in a world where everyone gets the name of their soulmate tattooed on their wrists when they turn 18, finding out your best friend is your soulmate was not how you planned your 18th birthday to go. now, what’s so bad about that you might ask? you see, jay despises the thought of soulmates. but maybe he doesn’t despise them so much when it comes to you.

please note, this work is purely that of fiction. and not meant to represent what the enhypen members are like in real life.

A/N: guys no why am I so soft,, anyway I’ve been wanting to write this for a while now, so I hope you enjoy!! and I'm reposting this now, as this didnt get a lot of notes on my old account cause of all the reporting and stuff!

word count: 3.4k

warnings: mentions of heartbreak, crying, mentions of food.

1 week ago

you bit your nails as you paced up and down your room, a nervous habit you’d picked up in your junior year of high school whilst dealing with the tremendous stress and pressure school put on you. well lucky for you, you had graduated now and your 18th birthday was just around the corner. specifically, exactly a week from now.

your best friend jay sat on your bed staring at you with amusement written all over his face as he quietly observed you, before moving up to stop you and pull your hands away from your face. “you’re going to wear yourself out” he mumbled softly, pulling you to sit next to him and rubbing your shoulder in a comforting manner.

“I know I know, I’m just nervous, what if they’re all the way on the other side of the world? or even worse, what if they’re someone I know??” the panicked expression on your face was seemingly too much for jay to handle as before you knew it, he had almost rolled off your bed, laughing his ass off at you.

you see, your “dearest” best friend jay never believed in soulmates. he himself never actually got a name on his wrist, a sign that his soulmate had not reached the age to get theirs. to say he was ecstatic would be an understatement as he was at a party that very night, hooking up with a random girl before going over to your house the next morning with a massive hangover and a sullen expression.

it hurt you to see him that way, hooking up with random people, praying that he wouldnt run into his soulmate. and it hurt even more when you thought of how his soulmate was probably so excited to meet him even if they didn’t know him yet.

if only you knew where you would be a week later, wishing it was you who never met him.

present day

the time on your phone read 11:57, and jay had shown up to your house at exactly 11:30, punctual as always, giving up his usual saturday night parties to spend the night before your special day with you instead. he held your hand in his, one thumb running up and down the expanse of your knuckles soothingly, the only thing grounding you in the tense moments before what was basically the biggest moment of your life. your eyes never met his once, only flickering from the clock to your wrist every few seconds, almost as if it would appear before time if you stared long enough.

12:00 a.m.

it was almost as if everything stopped in that moment as the words appeared on your skin. the crickets stopped chirping, that one car alarm outsode your house stopped beeping and both you and Jay stopped breathing, even if it was just for a few seconds. one by one, letter by letter, black ink slowly trailed up the soft skin on your clean wrist, marking your skin for the rest of eternity. you watched with bated breath as tbe letters curved their way into your skin, into your soul.

“P-A-R-K” looks like your soulmate would have the same last name as your best friend. “J-O-N-” that was when the realisation of what was about to happen dawned upon you. “no, no, no, no” was all you could think. “this wasn’t supposed to happen”

meeting jay’s eyes for a split second, you could see the shock on his face, the same shock you knew was written all over your face at that very moment. yanking your hand out of his warmer one, you stared at the 2 words displayed on your wrist. “park jongseong” you whispered as a one lone tear ran down your cheek, falling to you chin before disappearing into the soft material of your sweater.

this prompted jay to push up his own sleeve, the words that seem to have appeared on his wrist confirmed what you both already knew by that point. jay park, your best friend since you were 5, your rock, your everything, was your soulmate. if the situation were anything but this, you would have been jumping for joy, ecstatic that your soulmate was the man you’d grown up with your whole life. but unfortunately, that was not the case.

“_______” he whispered, voice hoarse as he held your hand in his again. gripping it tightly this time so you wouldn’t be able to let go this time. not that you wanted to anyway. “jay” you whispered back, attempting to smile at him, despite the tears that were threatening to overflow at any moment. “I-I need time to think” he said, so softly, his eyes full of nothing but remorse. “I understand jay, take your time, don’t rush okay?” you replied, squeezing his hand in reassurance. he wistfully smiled at you one last time as he pushed himself off your bed and walked out of your bedroom, closing the door with a small ‘click’, leaving you alone in the darkness of your room, mind racing and wondering what were you were going to do with this newfound information.

you fell asleep after much tossing and turning, your mind full of nothing but jay and his name that was now tattooed into the inside of your wrist. you were woken up by the bright smile of your parents, you mother holding a plate of pancakes and wishing you a happy birthday. the sight alone was enough to make you burst into tears as you wrapped your arms around her, seeking her familiar scent and comfort after the rough night you had. your parents seemed shocked, but did not press you to open up, wrapping their arms around you as they attempted to comfort you.

your mom was no foolish woman, as she seems to have caught on to what was bothering you on your special day. “its about your soulmate isn’t it?” she asked as she placed a glass of your favourite chocolate smoothie in front of you, wiping her hands on her apron. you looked up at her, disbelief written all over your face as she chuckled at you. “how did you know?” you asked as she smiled slyly at you. “I have my ways, and besides, I’m your mother” she replied with a wink. you groaned, dramatically resting your head on the counter as she laughed and gave in. “I saw jay walk out of your room last night with tears streaming down his face, and considering you woke up crying too, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out what went down there”.

“you should talk it out with him sweetie, he’s not just your soulmate, he’s your best friend. despite how he feels about this whole fate thing, I’m sure the both of you will be okay.” her words reassured you as you grabbed your backpack, and walked through your front door. not even 2 minutes later you heard the biggest scream and you were tackled into a hug. giggling, you wrapped your arms around the taller boy as he squeezed you tightly. “happy birthday ______!” he said as he let go of you and continued your walk to school. “thanks sunoo” you said, smiling at the younger boy who had the biggest grin on his face.

“soooooo” he began, looking at you with an expectant expression on his face. you pursed your lips, already predicting the question that was due to escape his mouth any second from now. “jay” you said, cutting him off before he could even open his mouth. “JAY?!?!!?” he said, a little too loudly, mouth agape as he processed the information. you shrugged as he linked his arm with yours, understanding that you didnt want to talk about it.

luckily, no one pressed you about your soulmate for the rest of the day, warded off by sunoo’s glare the moment they looked like they were going to ask. you sat next to jay in all your classes, the atmosphere tense and awkward between the two of you. everyone seemed to have figured our what happened by that alone, your normally boisterous voices muted and soft. you went out after school with sunoo and riki, your mood heightened by the laughs and jokes of the two bickering boys.

when you got home, the house was eerily quiet, your parents nowhere in sight, all the lights turned off save the one in your living room. and there on the sleek grey sofa sat Jay, looking down at his hands as he anxiously played around with the rings he always wore. your footsteps alerted him of your presence, as he shot up off your sofa to greet you with a crooked smile on his face, black hair sticking up in every direction.

you smiled at him, already preparing yourself for the worst, as he walked towards you. “your parents have gone out, they handed me the keys and told me to come and talk to you if I wanted, and-” he cut himself off in the middle of his sentence, taking a deep breath and holding your hand. here goes nothing he thought. “I want to try. this whole soulmate thing I mean. maybe i wouldnt be this way if it was anyone else, but it’s you, my best friend, and I don’t want to lose you.” he mumbled out the last part, but it was still clear enough for you to hear. you couldn’t help the smile that stretched across your face at his words, his own face breaking out into a grin at your expression. you reached up on your tippy toes to wrap your arms around his neck as his hands went around your waist.

he buried his face in your hair, your soft vanilla scent calming his racing heart, and that was when he realised how much you really meant to him. he loved when you would always being him snacks after soccer practice, he loved when you let him lay his head on your lap and you ran your hands through his hair, he loved seeing the expressions you made when you ate his food, he loved you.

“I made something for you” he said, pulling away from your embrace, leading you to your kitchen and making you sit down on the counter. he grabbed a plate of your favourite pasta and a fork before lifting up a mouthful and holding it out to feed it to you. you smiled, wrapping your lips around the fork as the flavours exploded in your mouth. “oh my gosh, this is good, you’ve really outdone yourself.” he smiled at the complement before pressing a kiss to your cheek and muttering a little “happy birthday love”, leaving your face feeling hot and an uncontrollable smile on your face.

the rest of the evening went by in hin feeding you food and taking a few notes of it himself, lots of little cheek kisses, before the two of you settled down on the couch to watch a movie. it seemed like jay had gotten over his awkwardness as he pulled you to sit between his legs the moment the movie started. you looked back at him in shock, wondering when he got so bold before he pressed a kiss to your lips and told you to focus on the screen.

it might not have been the perfect first kiss, but it was with jay and that was enough. he played with your hair throughout the movie, and moved it aside at one point, pressing little kisses along the expanse of your neck. it was when he landed his lips on one particular spot that you let out a little noise, one you never even knew you could make that made him sit up a little straighter.

it was almost as if a switch flipped within him as he tightened his grip around your waist, one hand slipping up your hoodie to caress the skin near your waist. “I didn’t know you could make such pretty noises baby” he whispered in your ear, his hot breath sending shivers down your spine. “well i didn’t know i could either” you whispered back, the realisation of what was about to happen making your body feel like it was on fire.

“are you sure you want this? we don’t have to do anything you dont want to sweetheart” he said, pulling away with a kiss to your cheek. you shifted so that you were facing him, legs wrapped around his waist and you reached your hands up to play with the hair at the nape of his neck. “I’m sure jay, theres no one I’d rather do this with than you.” that was all the affirmation he needed, as within seconds you were being dragged to your bedroom by an overexcited jay.

he pressed you up against your room door, hands coming up to lift your thighs and wrap them around his waist, your core meeting his very obvious bulge. taking advantage of the gasp that left you, he allowed his tongue to skip into your mouth, taking control of every aspect of the kiss. pulling away, he brought you to your bed, gently letting you down onto the mattress, and reaching up to pull your hoodie off you.

“so beautiful” he whispered as he reached behind you to pull your bra off, before lifting his own arms to pull his own shirt off, leaving his body on display for you. just for you. he reached down to tug one of your nipples into his mouth, gently sucking and wrapping his tongue around the sensitive bud, his actions leaving your mouth open in a silent moan.

within minutes, both of you were left completely naked as jay continued to trail his lips down your body, pressing little kisses to your inner thigh before his mouth finally met your core, the smallest motion of his lips leaving you breathless and squirming. “stay still sweetheart, good girls don’t move around so much”. his words sent vibrations spreading throughout your body, not doing anything to help with the heat that was coursing through your veins.

his tongue delved in and out of your dripping hole, one of his hands rubbing your clit while the other held your legs open for him. “jay- i- I’m gonna-” but he was gone the moment the words fell from your mouth. and he was a sight to see. your juices mixed with his, drool and spit dripped down his chin, as he ran his tongue over his lips with a smirk on his face.

“oh so the baby wants to cum? don’t worry love, I’m going to make you feel so good”. he reached into his jacket and pulled out a condom before rolling it on and lining himself I with your entrance. he grasped your chin gently, pulling you up to look at him and planting a loving kiss on your lips. “I love you so much sweetheart, so so much” he whispered, pulling away from your lips. “I love you too jay” you said back, watching as he smiled once, before intertwining your hands and then, pushing himself into you.

nothing had ever felt as good in that moment as he gently, softly pushed himself inside. the feeling was euphoric, having your soulmate inside you in such an intimate manner. your bodies moulding together perfectly, bursts of colour lighting up the back of your eyelids as your eyes closed at the feeling of him in you. he began thrusting in and out of you slowly, not wanting to hurt you. but at your signal, he began moving faster, groans and moans escaping both your lips, finding pleasure and love in each other.

it didn’t take long for you to reach your high at all, his length hitting you in all the right places, leading you to ride out your high much faster than you expected, jay following soon after. he finished inside the condom, reaching out to pull it off and throw it away, before walking to your bathroom and grabbing a wet cloth to clean you up with.

he was greeted with the sight of your tired smile as he returned, gently cleaning you before tossing the rag and gathering you up in his arms, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “does this mean you’re mine now?” he asked, reaching down to bury his head in your hair, his hands absent-mindedly tracing shapes and figures on your bare shoulder. “it does if it means you’re mine too”. he smiled at your response, pulling the blanket over the two of you as you drifted off to sleep in the arms of the one person who would stay with you forever.

thank you for reading!! I hope you enjoyed and I hope you drank enough water today! ♡♡♡

#enhypen imagines #enhypen smut #enhypen hard hours #enhypen x reader #enhypen #heeseung smut #jay smut #jake smut #sunghoon smut #kpop smut #kpop

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ecto-stone · 3 years

Note

So I don’t really know that much about that my blood au you created could you tell me a bit about it?

Ha hah I Hope this is Edible

So My Blood Au is just Me dumping all the cool stuff i can think of into a DP what if Vlad is Good ^For Starter MB Vlad or Vladimir Jude Masters is a Paranormal investigater/ hunter/exocist in a sense. He seemingly Perfect in People eye, Not Really on the inside as he have many problem stem from living so long and going though alots of thing that he prefer not to talk about that he hide from People , go so far as to adjust his own emotion to what he find fit to the situration making him really hard to read. (Not Jack and Danielle, those are close enough 2 peel him like an onion if they sense something off). -Vlad And Danny are not same kind of Halfa in this AU, Vlad is Two soul (Half Blue Demon Vampire Ghost, Half Human twisted together and blend into one) and Danny is Soul within soul (Going though the accident give him two identical soul that over lapped each other) -Ghost are nerf and ecto beam and ecto Base attack can harm ghost but they can't harm Physical thing in living world Unless they are infuse with Core element same with Human entering Purgatory. -The world have 5 Realm: LivingWorld, Purgatory (GhostZone), Elsewhereness, Fairy Land and Unworld. +Going with the idea that originaly Vlad is supposed to be a vampire and many ghost in the series feel like they are more supernature creature then Ghost. Living world now have many Human and other Creature living among each other , hidden in plain sight +Purgatory: Where Ghost go and heal before they move onto Elsewhereness (Heaven in this verse) or Rebirth back to the living cycle. There are many area in Purgatory that fit human decription of after life look like , this is due to collective faith and ideal of many Ghost focus with each other to created these Resting stop. Incidentally like the living world these area are also watch over by being call King and Queen of the Death (Caretaker and protector of the Death soul, a being with incredible power capable of bending reality). Most well known one are the King Dark, Prince Argon and Princess Dora of the Dark Age Zone. Queen Desire of the thousand and one night. ect.. newest King of the death is Ghost Writer (library of the forgotten) but he prefer not be refer to as king, just Ghost writer. +Elsewhereness: The final resting Places of enternal Bliss. Once the Soul is ready to let go of all earthly desire, they are send here. Not much is known about this realm or it location. When a Soul reach enlightment it will automatically know where to find it. The realm also House many god. +Fairy Land: Home to care taker of the childhood inocent and many god that work to keep the universe running. Most common creature that live here is Fairy with two side one silly colorful side that appear to children to granted what ever their heart desire. The other is the Blue fortune side that Weaved the fabric of Luck and fate. +Unworld: A Dark realm with one way in no way out. It house many dangerous creature, ancient outer god and unspeakable Evil that have been banish to through age by god and human. >the Origin Story: +Vlad and Jack are Friend from Childhood (Their Bond are really tight kinda like Sworn Brother ) unlike their canon counter part meet in college. They Hunt Ghost but in more of a Release soul from their earthly bound kind of way via the info they get from the Masters Family Grilmore. (There is one major inconvience is that You need to wait for the correct day and time to perform ritual sending ghost back to purgatory so they can Move on to Elsewhereness/heaven of this verse ) +They Meet Maddie in college (Maddie and Vlad almost alway in a total clash with each other with Maddie tech almost Hunter like way in dealing with ghost and Vlad more traditional Way of Handling them) Which end with Three of them forming the Original Ghost Trio. With Maddie accept Vlad and Jack Respect the Death ideal. And Vlad and Jack incorperate More Technology into their Asset. +Maddie point out the inconvinient of having to wait for the correct day for each ghost to send them back to Purgatory (Their room are fill with

Container for ghost), Which lead to them comming up with the idea of Making a Ghost Portal. <Note: MB Vlad is not into Romantic relationship, Platonic one Matter to him more> >The Accident: No diet soda the Accident is purely due to one miscalculation that cost Vlad life (his Head got Blash Clean off infront of Jack and Maddie) In that Split Second of His face getting disintigrating, Vlad get a Glim into UnWorld (the Realm where are Demon and evil of the four realm are banish to) and Got Latched on and Pushed Back to the living world by a Demon Vampire Ghost Both Soul are now inhabited Vlad headless lifeless body, in Which about 3 day after Vlad burial that Vlad Body got completely decontructed inside the coffin and recontructed into a body that is more fitting to host both . Vlad have a hard time remembering Who he is after kinda get rebirth and Wander the world until he Get Suck into a Natural Ghost Portal and got Flunk Back in time. >Journey of an Immortal Being: -Vlad Stuck in the Past, He recovered his memories, Going through existenal crisis, Evil phase, Evil make me feel bad, Not Evil anymore, Found out that he is immortal now, Existenal crisis part2, Acceptance, Travel the World and Start doing the what ever he like, learning old way of magic still helping ghost and other supernatural being. -Caused several Major Change to the past that Mythical Creature got un extinct. (Due to the Law of life and death this does not affect who get born or not, it just that the world got alots more races now and those used to be born human in the original timeline might get born as another races entirely) -Get Mistaken for Messiah.( Look You can't kill Vlad, He would just be gone for like 3 day then comeback) -Caused the legend of Dracula. -Vampire cult have a horrible obession with Vlad as a Whole. Look like vampire act like one, can walk in plain day light and more importantly the ability to Open a Portal to Unworld . ( Vlad don't use this ability much and can only open small one as it is very energy consuming) -Meet his own ancestor Which is the Fentonightingale that Later Splited into Fenton and Nightingale (later change to Masters) leading to revealation that Jack and Him might be very distant Related. -Bickering With Time God (Do not trust the Clock Man that work for the Eyes) -Get Caught in War far too many time. -Meet Phantom (an odd entity that is oddly clingy to him) in the Great War. -Meet Other Some of the DP ghost when they still alive -The Horrible Bar incident that reveal Phantom true nature, an evil being that wish to turn the world back to it original nature of nothiness and try to turn vlad to the his side, Kill, Seal in Rock Case covered with Sigil to prevent Phantom from escape, Chuck it into the ocean. - The Contruction of the Coffin Ghost Portal. (Havent actually went into the Purgatory caused the CCP is one Way Portal. -Forming of many Hidden town that home supernatural being. Amity Park is one of them. - And many more unseen story >Daddy Stolen Ribbone saga (MB Vlad is sterile, he want to have kid but can't.) -The Vampire cult that he have grudge with attemp to Clone or at least created a child that have Vlad Power through ritual and cult like method. Imagine Danny Clone but even more mess up . -Vlad end the life of most of them by his own hand (they are suffering, it is best to let them go) -Birth of Danielle: +Danielle Evelyn Masters or just Dani/Dee for short is the only Stable child come out of this whole odeal. She is Created From Vlad Ribone like a Twisted Eve. And like in the book it caused both of them to be very attached to each other in a Fatherly Daughterly Way. +Dee Have Vlad Ghost power and Demonic Power but No ghost form (Her default funtion as both and whether she is in ghost mode or Human mode is all Up to energy control) and no connection to Unworld there for she can't open portal to Unworld. Dual Soul nature Wind/Fire.

+She like Frog and is interested in Marine biology (which Vlad have full support over, she have a room fill with Vlad hand made frog plusie that she all named. +He raise her teach her everything he know about how to deal with supernatural being and how to Snipe Vampire from a long distant with pin point accuracy.

+An kidnapped incident with the Vampire cult latter resulted in Dee Death at the age of 12 (1999), and Vlad becoming fully Merged into one Being with Plasmius. and wipe out the entire vampire cult in a horrible Vlad the impaler way). +After wiping out the remainder of the cult, vlad go into retirement and work as a wall Painter < he work supper fast on celling painting and no one know why> >The Boy Who Fly (2 year before the start of actual MB story) -Danny Gain his power at the age of 10, his parent know. The event of Portal acivation caused the whole town to have a black out. -They move House alots for 2 year. And Jack try his best to make his family as normal as they can be after accidenly k his friend all those year ago and now half eff his own son. -They finding out amity park their new home is on accident when the RV engine die mid way through the middle of no Where (The town shown it self to those in need) -Danny hide his abiltiy. But after a gym incident. and getting Praise by his peer for it instead of scold like with the adult Danny start getting bolder using Floating power around his new friend when no adult is watching. <Vlad who is Working on the Giant Raven paiting for the School Saw this and know imediately What Danny is> -They offically meet each other on the the roof top, when Danny mom ask him to go down the store and by some bread and he decided to try to Air Frog Swim to it. They become friend and Vlad even teach Danny how to fly properly before having to leave (they visit each other alots after the revealation, and vlad is a good adult friend that Danny can talk to) (Danno forgot about the bread and return home breadless) -Jack may stop with the whole Paranormal hunter/ghost scientist job but not Maddie. She keep doing it behind his back due to danny special need in ecto base consumtion (he havent grow abit since the accident and keep getting smaller and it concerning) -Jack found out and they have a Fight. which lead to Maddie go to his Sister house. -Danny Found out about why his dad was so stressed out about ghost thing now. When looking through his parent old stuff with his new friend tucker. (Dude why does your parent have a Picture of the wall painter in thier old junk). He show the image to Vlad. -Danny Get jack to tell the story about the inccident. Dad what if i tell you that Your friend who die 18 year ago survived and is on our front door right now. Reunion, Jack feeling guilty about making them both like this. Go Get Maddie. Happy reunion of the trio. -Fenton Parent become accepting to Danny condition, Danny have a good mentor that can teach him ho to control his power And they live happy ever after for now

#Q/A #good god how do you add read more on a QA #my blood AU #Danny Phantom #danny phantom au #god this is long #hachi text

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beewritings · 3 years

Text

our final night alive

Eren Jaeger x Reader one shot.

Afab reader, gender neutral pronouns used!

Content Warning: angst & nsfw. Slight violence, first time blowjobs, first time vaginal sex. Not spoiler free, manga is preferred to have been read.

Posted on my ao3.

Summary: You and Eren become lovers, but he disappears years later and it causes conflict on your relationship. I’m bad at summaries I’m so sorry

5.9k words. This is posted on my phone I’m so sorry if the layout is ugly lol. First story posted on here!! :) Feedback is welcomed!

you and eren got together not long after annie was caught being the female titan. you, eren, armin and mikasa became close friends during your cadet days.

you shared a bunk with mikasa, and seeing as she was always focused on eren and armin, you were scared to become her friend because you were unsure if she even wanted friends. you and her became sparring partners during training one day and she, obviously, kept beating you. at some point, eren walks over and tells her to give you a break and so she apologizes to you. from that point on, you always saw eren as a life saver. yes, she kept dropping you to the ground so much to the point where you were in pain so eren saved you. you accepted her apology, of course, and you even got to ask her if you could be friends. mikasa shrugged, but eren answered for her: he said he’d like that. he introduced himself and he called for armin and you introduced yourselves. the four of you never thought you’d actually join their friend group. these were the first friends you made and you never felt happier in your life.

“y/n, what made you want to join the cadet corps? you never told us,” you remember armin asking you one day.

“oh… um… it’s a stupid reason. it’s not worth mentioning… it’ll make it seem like i’m a joke..”

“no reason is stupid. except for that horse face’s reason, that bastard is a coward!” eren said, screeching.

“um.. well as a kid, i was neglected by both my parents. they were so focused on my older brother joining the military police and so happy for him that they basically forgot about me a lot. they always called me a disappointment and such and it always made me feel like shit..”

“so you joined to prove to them you’re worthy?”

“what? hell no, i joined so i could get away from them. i was tired of being treated like i was a mistake child so my choices were either join the military to slowly kill myself or join the military to get away from my terrible parents. i honestly haven’t felt happy probably my whole life. but then i met you guys and now i feel like i have a purpose to be here? i want to protect you guys. all three of you…”

eren gives a slight smile and then it turns into a bright one. he leans to his left and wraps an arm around your shoulder and his other arm around armin and pulls them in. you and armin wrap one arm around mikasa and you all hug each other. you knew you were there to protect them all. even though mikasa is always there to try and protect eren, you know she needed someone to protect her, and you know for a fact someone had to be there for armin.

when discussing what branch of the military you guys were going to join, you four chose to join the scout regiment. then so much happened between when you talked about what you were going to join and graduating as cadets. there were days where you and eren would work together practicing and even though you were her friend, mikasa would keep watching you to make sure you wouldn’t get too close to him. she never told you that she would watch, but she was. when you and eren would spar, there’d be times where he’d pin you on the ground and straddle you with the wooden knife pointing to your neck. you started gaining a crush on eren, not knowing he was too, and you’d blush instead of defending yourself. at some point, you did push him right off of you and pin him instead, which resulted in him with a red face instead.

when switching partners, you sparred with armin next while eren went to reiner. instead of sparring armin, you tried teaching him moves since you knew he was fragile and it wouldn’t have been a fair fight. armin brought up the topic of you and eren.

“so, you and eren? i saw you guys being flustered while sparring.”

“w-w-what??? nooooo, i wasn't flustered???? no one was flustered, armin. haha..” way to be obvious, y/n.

armin giggles and immediately drops the conversation.

eventually, time passes and the colossal titan decides to return, bringing titans with it. cadets are to help kill titans. you ended up on another squad, but you remind yourself to keep in contact with eren and armin. you couldn't keep sight of mikasa being she was with the higher ups, but you tried. you remember crashing into armin with ymir and connie. that's when you find out that… eren got eaten by a titan. it broke your heart, you felt the pieces inside of you tearing apart. you tried being strong but.. tears started to fall. mikasa made her way and she found out too, armin screaming in tears of all the members in his squad who'd died. mikasa was silently angry, calling everyone cowards. she soars off with little gas, and you immediately chase after her. she flew away so quickly, you couldn’t catch up with her. you had to protect her, you promised to protect your friends. one is already gone, you couldn’t have another one disappear. if she disappears, how can you trust yourself to protect armin? after you all made it to the building, killed the titans inside and got to refilling your gases, you find out that the titan who was killing other titans was none other than eren, the kid you started to gain feelings for.

time skip to capturing annie, the female titan, you and eren had finally gotten alone time. a time to talk your feelings out as eren heals from his fight with her. you went to visit him when you know everyone already has, but when you know he was still awake. it’s been a few years since you’ve met and started gaining feelings, being as you met when you were 12 and are now 15.

“hey, eren. how’re you feelin’, titan boy?”

“ugh, don’t call me that, y/n. that’s the least thing i wanna hear from you.”

“sorry…”

“.... y/n?”

“eren?” you both say at the same time.

“oh, you can-”

“no no, you go.”

you both give off small laughs.

“you go first, y/n.”

“um. well, i’m pretty sure this is the wrong time to bring this up considering you’re tired from fighting that female titan. plus this war isn’t near over and i shouldn’t be focused on feelings because we are soldiers but, uh. i have-”

“me too,” eren cuts in.

“feelings, i- what? i didn’t even finish-”

“it’s been obvious. well, not really. i didn’t think it was obvious, but i figured by the way we’ve been acting towards each other. we always get flustered when we’re close to each other. y/n, did you even realize that you’re holding my hand?”

you both look down and see that you’re holding his hand. you snatch it back with a flushed face and start stuttering.

“i-i-i always h-hold my friends' hands!!! i k-know you’ve seen me hold armin’s!! please, y-you’re not special, eren jaeger!”

eren giggles and blushes as well, leaning to grab your hand once more, this time interlocking the fingers.

“i agree. this isn’t the time for romance considering we are soldiers in the middle of a battle. but that doesn’t make me not want to further this relationship between us.. i-if you want that, that is…”

you bite your lip, looking away from him. you squeeze his hand and he caresses your skin with his thumb. you both kind of just ended the conversation there, but everything was mutual between the two of you. you knew what you wanted. a relationship, but never really having the title due to the war you all were going through. time flies and the battle with reiner and bertholdt to capture eren back from them happens. all you could feel about this battle was anger; you were going to get eren back. and you did. during the time where everyone was healing from it, that’s when you and eren both told both mikasa and armin about the little thing you guys had.

armin was supportive, he was easy. but mikasa took it a little hard, not showing it though. you pulled mikasa away and had a long talk with her about it, tell her you didn’t mean to catch feelings for the man she’d grown to protect with her life, it kind of just happened. but she couldn’t stay upset forever. she wishes for eren to be happy, and as she can see: you made him happy. the happiest he’s been. and she wants you, one of her best friends to be happy too, and clearly it was with eren. since then, you and eren have been open with your relationship. everyone knew, and no one tried to end it. when you guys told the crew, most of them basically said “we figured”. jean actually laughed and didn’t believe it at first, “really? in a relationship with that suicidal blockhead? yeah, alright .” so you did what any couple would do to prove their relationship, you kissed eren in front of them all, in plain sight. that was your first kiss. his, also. jean’s face turned red in embarrassment and he turned away. “alright, whatever. you’re both crazy.”

you miss him.

you miss eren. you all found out about what was truly outside the walls, and you helped eren cope the most. you know he really wanted to kill the enemy, they caused so much pain to his home inside the walls. he wanted revenge. you understood and supported his anger, you were there with him through every moment. his rants, his tears, his fears. you backed him up; you were on his side. so why did he still leave you alone? why did he disappear from you and your friends? why were you all in marley, watching his attack titan destroy it from above? you weren’t completely mad, you all were gonna infiltrate marley eventually, you just did it quicker and earlier than planned. when you saw him with your own eyes, his titan, your heart sunk. he looked so different.. has it really been that long? no way. and… he grew such long hair.. god. it was actually kind of hot, but you were too angry to admit it.

you sigh. you stood in the blimp, you didn’t do any fighting. you explicitly told commander hange and captain levi that when you arrive at marley, you refuse to fight. you were in gear, in case you had to, but you mainly stood in the ship with them. when everyone retreated after mikasa recaptured eren, captain levi kicked him to the wall. mikasa tries to run to them, but armin’ stops her. you were in a distance, out of eren’s eyesight but you could see him. you really hated his damn face right now.

two soldiers with guns run to him, pointing towards him. levi starts to speak to him once more.

“this brings back memories, eren. you have such a kickable face.” that earns a small chuckle from you. “after you’re tied up, let’s have a chat.”

“that’s fine, i explained everything in the letters though. did you not understand it?”

“tch. that face reminds me of the rotten shits who lived underground. never thought i would see it on you. but cheer up, everything happened like you wanted it to, right?”

eren just stares off into space, but then looks levi straight in the eyes and he mumbles out, “... where are they?”

“who?”

“you know who… where is y/n.”

“tch. oi, l/n. talk to your shithead boyfriend before anything else happens. i’m tired of looking at his disgusting face.”

levi walks away, tells the soldiers to chain him up and they walk away, leaving you finally in his eyesight. internally, his heart sinks. the look on your face was pure disgust, and anger. you walk towards him, and he looks up at you with his dead souled eyes. you clench your fists.

“y/n…”

you let out a huge breath. “eren.”

“... y/n, i’ve mis-”

you already know what he was going to say, and it just pisses you off. you growl and punch the wall behind his head. you lean your leg back and kick it right into his stomach. you grab a fistful of his hair, gripping it and bringing his face to yours. mikasa tries to push through armin, but armin manages to hold her back still.

“y/n, stop !” mikasa screams.

“do you have any FUCKING clue how worried i’ve been, eren?! HUH?! DO YOU??” you ignore mikasa, “besides mikasa, i probably was even more worried than her! YOU LEFT ME, EREN. are you stupid, eh? HUH? are you fucking stupid? you like knowing your partner is just worried sick about you? fuck the plan, if i wanted to i would throw you off this air ship myself. i don’t even like looking at how disgusting you look, you’re hideous. that dead look in your eyes. you’re not even eren! you’re some man who’s a fucking joke, you don’t care about us do you?! that time on the train? when you said we were all important to you? was that a lie? do you even think we are?” you bang his head into the wall and knee him in the face, bruising his nose and bleeding from it. tears start to well up in your eyes, “i missed you, eren… why’d you just leave us like that? i’m your partner… whatever, you’re not worth my time right now. i’m going to check on the others.”

you let go of eren’s hair, look at him a second more and make a disgusted face once more. “you’re not worth my tears.” you start to walk towards the back of the airship.

“you never left my mind the whole time i was there, y/n. i promise you. ”

you clench your fists and ignore him, continuing to walk to the others to see who made it on the airship.

“eren.”

“... y/n?”

you went to visit the prison before commander hange did. you needed to talk to him.

“we need to talk.”

“i’m all ears, my love.”

you hate that he’s seriously using pet names on you right now. it’s always been a weakness. my love, baby, lovebird. you loved them all.

“cute, we using pet names after i beat this shit out of you? okay, sweetie. i’ll call you titan man, yeah?”

“come on, don’t start that again. what are you here for, hm?”

“to talk.”

“okay.. so talk. come on, you know you want to start with how i look.”

“how you look? haha, okay. you want me to say that you look hot? that i want you to ravage me? bend me over and do nasty things to me?”

eren smirks, “actually, yeah. if that’s how you feel, i’d love to hear you say that.”

you chuckle, hating that he isn’t wrong. you do feel that way about him right now. him being really attractive right now, a man bun AND he’s shirtless? this is so unfair.

“well, too bad then. you won’t hear me say those words with confidence. but it would be nice…” you grin and lick your lips.

“oh? unlock these prison bars, and i’ll show you a good time then, baby.”

“no. let’s be serious now-”

“i am serious.”

“no, eren. we need to seriously have a talk,” you give out an exhale, “why’d you do it? do you have a plan in mind?” eren sighs, about to cut you off but you continue, “i’m being serious, eren. i’m not planning on telling the others. this is between us… why’d you leave me?” you start to tear up, “why, eren… you have a good reason for this, right?”

eren looks away from you, not wanting to make eye contact. “i have a plan, y/n. it’s going to work, i know it is.”

“what is it, baby? please, just between us two… i need to know why you left me for so long. i’ve been hurting so much. i love you eren, so fucking much. i literally can’t see myself without you, i see a future with you. please, eren. i want to be with you through it all, thick and thin. we are going to defeat marley together, right?”

“y/n. you are the light in my life, the reason i’m doing everything i am. i want you to live such a perfect life, whether it’s with me or not. i know what i’m doing. i’m doing it for you.”

“no.. no no no! you’re supposed to be doing it WITH me, not FOR me! we’re a pair, we do it together!” you bang on the prison bars, “please eren… i can help you.. yes, i’m upset with you, and i love armin and mikasa, even jean and connie! hell, i love sasha too, god rest her soul. i’m here to protect them all, just as i was in the cadets to protect you, armin and mika. but i love you the most, and if i had to choose… it’s always going to be you. i’d betray my comrades for you, eren-”

“no. no you wouldn’t. I wouldn’t let you. i love you, y/n. with my life, my heart, my soul. i’m willing to die for you if i could, but i will not let you betray the others. they need you more than you need me.”

“eren…” you’re full blown crying now, tears running down your face and overall a crying mess. you reach your hands between the bars holding his face in them and he places his arms through the bars to your waist, “please, eren. let me be by your side. i know floch released information about you, us imprisoning you. it was a tough decision, but someone leaked information to me about how you’re going to escape and meet some of your, uh, followers? they didn’t know if they were supposed to tell me considering the fact i was so angry with you on the airship, but someone slipped up. i know that’s not your real plan, you have something else planned for this… there’s no way you want to be on zeke’s side.. right?”

eren laughs, “hell no. i fucking hate that guy.”

“then what are your true intentions, eren…” you run your thumb across his lips, glancing back and forth between his eyes and lips.

“... i can’t tell you. to protect you, armin, mikasa… the others. i can’t tell you. you’re not joining floch and my followers. you’re staying with the scouts.”

“eren, i’m not-”

“l/n? are you down there?”

you and eren pull away from your intimate hold, and put some distance between yourselves. you cough.

“yes, captain. sorry. i had to give eren another beating and more yelling.”

“well, get out. you’re not allowed to be alone with eren.”

“yessir!”

eren looks at you and looks away. you lean back in the prison bars, grab his shoulders and bring it between the bars. you give him a kiss, a light yet deep kiss. one that just screams, please eren. he kisses you back, putting one hand on your waist. you pull away from his lips.

“.... i love you, eren. please, reconsider,” you whisper.

“i love you, y/n. more than you ever will know, i promise to spend my last 4 years with you,” his words make you tilt your head in confusion, “you’ll understand later. i promise you .”

you start to walk back, but then you hear eren’s last words to you, “you gonna let me ravage you soon, right? don’t act like i know you don’t think i’m so hot now.”

you giggle and walk backwards to look back at him, “i’ll think about. maybe if you’re a good boy, you can bend me over and do nasty things to me. maybe more, yeah?”

“oh? is this a promise or are you a tease?’

“take your pick.”

you walk up the stairs, leaving the man of your dreams locked in the prison.

eren escaped the prison. he met with his followers, the jaegerists, just as you had known was going to happen. you and the squad went to a restaurant to talk with niccolo. you didn’t expect what happened to happen. sasha’s family were there to eat, niccolo found out that the girl who killed sasha, gabi, was upon them and he threatened to kill both her and falco, the young eldian boy with her. after a dramatic episode with sasha’s adopted little sister, the little girl she saved from a titan, you, armin and mikasa take gabi to a separate room. you have a small talk, only to see your beloved walk in, with a threat. but to see eren again made your stomach flutter with butterflies. god you can’t get over how hot he looks.

he tells you to leave, he needs to talk to armin and mikasa by themselves. as he sends you out, there's a soldier who leads you into another room. you assume eren told him to lead you into another room. you take off your green military jacket, leaving you in your normal day outfit. after a bit, eren walks in. you blush, because god damn he’s so hot.

“....”

“... why are you so quiet?” eren asks.

“i-i don’t.. i don’t know. everything that’s happening, it’s just. so confusing…”

“thought you wanted me to bend you over? is that not what you said?”

you look up immediately in shock, “eh?”

eren smirks, “ eh? ” he mocks you, “i said, i thought you wanted me to-”

“i heard you the first time.. seriously, eren? right now? i don’t think this is the right time to-”

“baby, i’m joking. well, not really. i kind of was hoping we would do something here, but you obviously don’t and i am not going to force you,” he sighs, “can we just… hold hands and sit in silence? everything is stressing me out and i don’t know what to do with you.”

“what to do with me..?”

“shh, just hold my hands and shut up.”

…

“eren jaeger, i know you did not just tell me to-”

“y/n l/n.”

you immediately shut up, knowing you hate when he uses your first and last name. you look away and he reaches forward and places his hands out in front of him, on the table.

“hands.”

you hold his hands, fingers interlocked, and look into his eyes. those teal eyes… you could stare into them forever. you sit in silence for about five minutes.

“y/n.”

you hum in response.

“do you love me?”

“more than life itself.”

“... okay.”

they sit in silence once again.

“eren…”

“yes, my love?”

“.... can we… um…”

“hm? use your words, baby.”

ugh, you hate it when his pet names make you melt. and the way he uses them? UGH he just makes you want to just sit there and obey him forever if it meant him calling you baby. you started to blush and squirm in the chair. eren smirks and chuckles.

“is something wrong, baby? do you… need some release? you look like a pathetic whore in heat.”

you look at him with widened eyes. you’ve never heard eren speak like this to you before, but you.. kinda like it. like, you and eren haven’t even done sexual things so for you both to say dirty things, let alone imply sexual activities towards each other, was new. and well, it seems like that's going to change. eren leans forward with his body, taking back his hands and putting one on the table and one to grip your chin towards him.

“ are you going to fucking answer me? ”

“i-i.. i, um-”

“god, you can’t even speak. you’re so awestruck by the way i’m treating you? it was bound to happen sometime, all you do is cry about how much you love me. it’s annoying. i’m surprised you aren’t a jaegerist, on your knees kissing my shoes. begging for me to fuck the shit out of you. huh? is that what you want? for me to fuck the shit out of you? HUH? answer me, you fucking whore! ” eren slaps your face with the hand that gripped your chin, and he grips it again. he force opens your mouth and he spits in it, “ swallow it. ”

“y-yes sir,” are the only words that could come out, and it boosted his ego and the tent in his pants you didn’t notice until now started to show more. you swallowed the liquid he spit into your mouth and stared into his beautiful teal eyes. you know this is just foreplay, he’s not genuinely angry with you. because his eyes never changed. this is the love of your life… he wouldn’t hurt you. you know he wouldn’t hurt you. you open your mouth to show him you swallowed it and he chuckles.

“ good. ” he lets go of your jaw and pats your head. he looks you in the eye and smiles. a genuine loving smile. he speaks again, “are you okay with this? with what i'm doing?”

you nod, giving a smile back. “i feel amazing, eren. are we… are we gonna, y’know…”

“hm? what did i say about using your words?”

you groan and look away from his eyes. “are we, no, are you actually going to bend me over and do nasty things to me?”

“do you want me to?”

“…yes.”

eren smirks and chuckles. “your wish will be my command.”

on an instant, eren grabs your arm and yanks you over the table. he walks to where you were just standing, and then he drags you by your hair to get off the table. he forces you on the floor, on your two knees to face towards him and his bulge that was being held in his dark pants, screaming to come out. he leans against the table.

“well? what are you waiting for? i’m not helping you. you’re on your own.”

you roll your eyes and you feel like you just know what you’re supposed to do. your hands make way to his pants, unbuttoning it immediately. you pull his pants down to his ankles, and start to rub his bulge. eren sucks in a breath, leaning his head back. he’s getting impatient, he actually can’t wait. he pulls his underwear down, his girthy member slapping against his stomach. he backs up to sit on a chair and spreads his legs apart for you. you stare at him with a flushed face and widened eyes. because it’s your guy’s first time doing anything like this, he smirks and starts pumping his member. pre-cum leaking out. he bites his lip, tilts his head back and lets out a low moan.

“y/n. start. i’m not doing everything for you from here on. suck it.”

you stare at his member, not in fear because your beloved’s cock is big, but in shock. will i… will i be able to fit this in my mouth? let alone.. inSIDE of me?? you lean forward, trying not to let him wait any longer. you lick a long stripe from his balls to his tip, earning a strangled moan from eren. he doesn’t want to pull your hair yet, so he just keeps caressing his thighs. you lick it some more, and then you finally stick him inside your mouth, and he instantly thrusts into your mouth. you let out a choke and pull off to cough. he opens his eyes and puts his hand on your cheek, stroking it.

“i’m sorry baby, i-it was an instant reaction. i’ll try not to do that until you’re ready. j-just.. keep going…”

you nod your head after coughing, letting your mouth right back onto his cock. you slowly start to bob your head, letting your tongue glide against the veins. trying not to bite, you start to bob your head quicker. you use your hand for whatever you can't reach and you just do this for a few minutes. eren’s legs start to shake. you lick his tip a few times, and eren’s hands go to your hair, pushing your head down a little further. he’s close. you can’t tell, but he knows he is. he thrusts up into your mouth, making you gag but you also moan, because fuck it feels so good. the vibrations from your noises trigger him, and he thrusts up more.

“f-fuck, y/n… i’m… i-i’m coming-!”

he pushes your head down all the way, your nose touching his skin. you’re gagging as thick liquid spurts up into your throat, making you gag just a bit more. your eyes tear up from the pain in your mouth, but your body feels tingly, on the verge of an orgasm. eren pulls out of your mouth while breathing heavy. you pull back with lust-filled eyes and you know you’re dying to have him inside you now. you open your mouth to show him his cum on your tongue, then you swallow that and show him your tongue once more. he blushes and giggles, looking away from your face. if he looks again, he might cum again, he doesn’t want to. not yet.

“e-eren… i need you… please, eren.”

eren looks at you and chuckles, “fuck… get on the table. i can’t hold back any longer.”

eren helps you up and sets you on the table in front of you both. he pulls off every piece of clothing you had on, your shirt your undershirt, your pants and your underwear, all at once. he refuses to wait. he needs to be in you now. he looks at your wet folds, he knows you were on the verge of cumming. he gives one long lick against you, and you bite your lip, twitching your legs and holding in your moans. he gets up and puts both arms on either side of your head. his member sliding against your folds.

“oh no no no, you are not going to hold back. i want everyone to know who is getting fucked and by who. i want everyone to know my partner of four years is a whore, a slut for my dick. that they’d do anything just to have eren jaeger’s cock in their mouth, in their beautiful pussy. yeah? are you my little cockwhore?”

“yes sir! i’m your little cockwhore, your little slut. please ‘ren, i want you.. no, i need you!!”

“god, baby. say it again, one more time baby..”

“EREN.”

“oh my god, babe. JUST DO IT!”

you both giggle as if there aren’t soldiers threatening your friends and comrades outside that door. eren looks at you with a genuine smile, and he mumbles “please, baby.”

“... i’m your little cockwhore, ‘ren. your little slutty cockwhore.”

“yeah? who’s pussy is this? huh? who’s pussy am i about to fuck?”

“... mine?”

eren lifts an arm and smacks your face, gripping your chin tightly. “try again.”

“y-yours…”

“what was that?”

“it’s yours…”

“what’s mine? didn’t your mother teach you how to speak? what. is. mine?” he uses that hand that gripped your chin to slap his cock against your throbbing area, sliding his cock between your folds.

“this pussy is yours, eren! this virgin pussy is all yours, eren, now can you PLEASE - o-oh!”

eren laughs as he just slides his member inside of you, slowly. it’s both of your first times, but it feels like it’s not. your cunt is so tight, but it feels as though it’s been used so many times. he gets in all the way, and you reach over to grip his man bun. you pull it out of its hair tie because you didn’t want to bother working with it later. he stays in, waiting for you to give him the go. you clench yourself around him, and considering the fact you were on the brink of orgasm when you were sucking him off, you actually orgasm right then and there. you clench around him tightly, moaning and gripping his long hair. he puts his hand back down next to your head.

“y-y/n?!”

“eren! o-oh fuck… -i-i’m sorry… i was on t-the brink of coming, i’m sorry-! EREN!”

he starts to thrust in, using your juices as lubricant and he just goes for it. fuck waiting, you already came. and he was going to make sure you get another orgasm. he wants his baby to be spoiled with his cum. he thrusts in and out, seeing his cock become visible and invisible. you moan, scream, every verb in the dictionary. you move your hands from his hair to his back and chest, leaving marks all over. eren grunts, feelings so good from your nails scratching him. oh god, his baby is making him feel so good. and he know he’s making his baby feel so good too, it’s very well shown on your face. he keep thrusting until he hits the spot to make you wild.

“EREN! oh my god, please eren, i’m so close, please please! please treat me like your little whore! you’re hitting the spot i never knew existed, please don’t stop!”

“you want it? you want me to fuck a baby into you? hm? want your sadistic boyfriend to breed you?”

god, you were losing it. eren grabs your body, he keeps his dick inside and he pulls you down to the chair with him. he wants you to ride him. and god, it’s a new sensation. you feel like you’re seeing god when you ride him. you hop on his lap, and he holds on to your waist while fucking up into you. you stare into his beautiful blueish green eyes. you wrap one arm around his neck and the other to his cheek and you kiss him. he, of course, kisses back. he helps you hop on him while holding your waist. everything feels so good.

“eren… i’m close again..” you mumble to the boy.

“i know , baby, i am too. i am too.”

he leaves marks all over your chest, just as you left nail marks on his back. you guys just sit like this, you keep riding him until you both are on the verge of another orgasm. he holds you against him, fucking into you so quick and fast and it just keeps hitting your walls. you’re both about to orgasm.

“eren! i’m gonna come, i-i’m-”

“let it out baby, i wanna hear you. i want everyone to hear you! please baby, i love you!”

“eren! i’m- f-fuck.. i love you, eren!”

after you both orgasm for a second time, you both sit there. enjoying each other's hot air, finishing off the post orgasm and intimate moment together. you both stare into each other's eyes, sharing the bonding moment. you both smile at each other, and you nuzzle into his neck. you love eren, you loved him so much. you can’t picture your future without him. he helps you up and he sets you back on the table. he looks around the entire room searching for wipes or paper towels. fortunately, he finds paper towels and cleans your private areas off. he’s beyond happy to have shared such a moment with you, finally. he gives you a deep kiss. he loves you so much. he would love to picture himself in your future.

but,

he wasn’t in it.

2 years have passed since the rumbling.

you miss him.

you miss eren so much.

228 notes · View notes

3rensgf · 3 years

Text

rent a gf - two eren yeager x reader

word count: 2.9k

warnings: mentions of sex, talks about "getting bitches", eren is an idiot, fuckboy!eren implied, tatbilb mention, uhh fluff idk theres not much to warn abt in here, not beta read

notes: chapter two is out! i'm really glad a lot of people are enjoying rent a gf. it really means a lot! i see some people commented on the previous chapter, and i would love to reply to them, but i'm not familiar with tumblrs commenting system D: if you wanna leave a comment for me to just read, that's fine you can still keep commenting here on tumblr. but if you would like me to reply to it, you can comment on ao3, and i will reply! happy reading :) p.s, waffles w whipped cream r so much better

[ read on ao3 ]

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In the early hours of Saturday morning, you felt a hand shaking your shoulder to wake you. Groaning and mumbling, you sleepily swatted the hand away and pulled the covers over your head. No one should be forced to wake up early on the weekends. It was Saturday, for fucks sake. Not to mention your hangover due to last nights mistakes was making your head throb.

The hand rested on your shoulder once more, shaking you gently. “(Y/N),” Mikasa said softly. “Your alarm has been going off for the past 10 minutes. Wake up. I have water and Advil.”

“Nooooo,” you moaned, snuggling deeper into your bed. “Don’ wanna.”

Mikasa stopped bothering you for a moment, and you let your guard down. Finally you could sleep. When it was time to wake up, you’d wake up.

Right as you were about to pass out again, your blanket was roughly tugged off of you. “Mikasaaa!” you whined, covering your face with your hands. “What was that for? I was trying to sleep.”

“Get up. You have to shower and get ready for lunch with Eren today. Breakfast is almost finished,” she explained, setting down the pills and water on your bedside table. “Go brush your teeth and wash your face so you can eat. Now,” she instructed sternly, moving to your window to open the curtains. The bright sunlight hit your still half-asleep face, making you hiss quietly.

She left the room moments after, probably to check up on breakfast. Honestly, you didn’t know how she could function this early in the morning despite having partied all night last night. Curse her and her inability to get hungover.

Grumbling to yourself, you adjusted your sleep clothes that had gotten disheveled overnight to make sure you looked decent. Your sleepy gaze wandered over to your nightstand to see two Advils on a napkin beside a glass of cold water. Thanking every higher power for sending Mikasa to you, you downed both pills and the glass of water. Even though you might bitch and moan to her constantly, you really weren’t lying when you said you’d die without Mikasa.

After sitting down at the edge of your bed for a few moments, you eventually shuffled into the bathroom to brush your teeth and do your morning routine. It took longer than usual thanks to your sluggish and tired movements, but you got done nevertheless.

A wonderful aroma came from the kitchen when you left, stomach grumbling in anticipation for the wonderful food you were about to scarf down. Mikasa was in the process of setting down both your breakfasts on the island, sitting down on the stools when you walked in. “Morning, Sleeping Beauty,” she greeted, resting her chin on her hands.

“Morning, sweet angel,” you replied, sitting at the stool beside her. In front of you was a plate of Funfetti pancakes with whipped cream instead of maple syrup (syrup was for pancakes only). There were a couple of cut up fruits beside them, too. “Where did you get these?” you asked, picking up your fork to take a bite of your breakfast.

Mikasa dug into her own breakfast of oatmeal as soon as you started eating. “Went grocery shopping and saw the mix in the baking aisle. I thought you’d like it,” she explained, taking a bite of her food. “Good?”

Your response was a moan, tilting your head back as you chewed. “Insanely,” you said, cutting up another bite. You stabbed the piece with your fork and guided it to Mikasa, keeping your hand under it to catch anything if it dropped.

She finished her bite and leaned in to take the bite, humming in satisfaction at the taste. “Good,” she nodded.

“They put like crack ‘n this shit,” you said through a full mouth, shoveling forkful after forkful into your mouth.

You could feel Mikasa's judging gaze for eating like a pig, but you didn’t care. All you cared about was eating these crack laced waffles as greedily as possible. “What time are you supposed to meet Eren today?” she asked to make conversation.

You remember drunkenly slurring to her that Eren was supposed to take you out for lunch today while she was trying to put you to bed. All she did was nod and dodge your flailing limbs while she tried to change you into your night clothes.

“Uhhh,” you trailed off, “I dunno actually. I think he’s gonna text me when.” The familiar notification from your phone indicated you had a text from Eren. “Right now.”

ren ᕙ(`▿´)ᕗ - 9:04 AM picking u up at 12 dont be late

you - 9:04 AM k

ren ᕙ(`▿´)ᕗ - 9:05 AM dont use k with me that makes me sad :(

you - 9:05 AM k

“He says 12,” you told Mikasa, setting your phone back down on the table. You went to go take another bite of your waffles, only to be met with stray bits of whipped cream and waffle crumbs. How disappointing.

“You have time to get ready then,” she said, finishing up the last bit of her own breakfast. Holding her plate, she got up to go put it in the sink, taking your plate for you as well. Literally an angel.

Suddenly, she leaned in to sniff you like the weird English professor you had your freshman year and cringed. “You’re gonna need all the time you can get. You stink.”

Never mind, not an angel.

Grumbling and cursing under your breath, you got off the stool to go take a shower. “And here I was about to offer to get you something for lunch while I was out.”

“A burger from the joint I like would be nice. So would a Coke and side of onion rings.”

“Size?”

“Medium for both.”

You would’ve caved in and bought her something, anyways. Might as well know what she wanted in the first place.

Showering took longer than expected. Most of your time got wasted by you standing under the shower stream and soaking in all the warmth. It wasn’t until Mikasa knocked on the door asking you not to use up all the hot water that made you actually start going through your routine.

The clock read 10:09 when you got out. You still had more time to kill until Eren came, so you elected to sit on your bed in your towel to scroll through social media. At 10:45, you started to get ready for real now.

Your makeup was just enough to cover any imperfections on your face, and your outfit cute enough for a lunch outing with your friend-fuckbuddy.

At 11:50, you stepped out into the living room with your belongings in hand to lounge around while you waited for Eren. You would’ve gone to bug Mikasa, but she had just stepped into the shower minutes prior.

12 on the dot, a rhythmic knocking was rapped on your door, meaning Eren was finally here. Skipping over to the door, you opened it to reveal him while slipping on your shoes.

“Hey,” he grinned when the door opened. He leaned in to give you a kiss on the lips after you’d straightened up from putting on your shoes.

A grin found its way on your lips during the kiss. It only lasted a couple of seconds, ending with you pulling away with a quiet smack. “Hi,” you greeted back.

“Ready to go?” he asked, one hand leaving his jacket pocket to jut his thumb down the hallway towards the elevators.

“Yup, ready,” you said. Over your shoulder, you yelled into the apartment to say goodbye to Mikasa and locking the door once you closed. “Okay, ready for real now.”

There was a new hot pot restaurant near campus, Eren told you, that he so desperately wanted to try. He overheard some people talking about the place in his Stats class, and he’s been wanting to go ever since.

“So, about what I told you last night,” he said, leaning on the table close to you after giving your orders to the waitress. “You said you would help me get Mina.”

“I said it was a bad idea,” you countered, taking a sip of your drink.

“But you said you would help me. For a price.”

“That I… did say,” you sighed. “What’s your plan?”

Smiling, he opened up his jacket and dug into the inner pockets, getting out a small notepad and a pen. Your eyebrows raised at the sight of them. “Okay,” he started, flipping through his notepad. “So I was thinking about it this morning, and this is what I have down so far.”

Sliding it towards you, he waited impatiently for you to read what he had.

Your lips pursed to prevent giggled from leaving your lips. Well, it was a plan, alright. Written in Eren’s chicken scratch of handwriting were a few very simple steps.

eren yaegers fool proof plan to get bitches get mina aka operation rent a gf by eren yaeger 1. talk to mina to get her interested in you ✓ 2. get hot girl ((Y/N)) to pretend to be your gf and show you can be a good bf 3. get mina jealous so she wants you even more and not poopy thomas wanker 4. “break up” with (Y/N) and pretend to be sad 5. get mina to comfort you 6. get bitches make mina your gf 7. pay (Y/N) for her services 8. ta-da!

When you looked up from the notepad, you saw Eren waiting for your answer. “Well? What do you think? Is it any good?” he asked.

“Were you high when you wrote this?” was the first thing you asked him. Eren shook his head innocently. “You’re 100% serious?” He nodded.

You bit your lip, deep in thought about Eren’s supposedly fool proof plan. “What makes you think it’s gonna work?”

“I know girls and how they act. If Paradis University let me major in women -- don’t get smart with me I don’t mean Women Studies -- I would be passing all my classes with flying colors. I know it’ll work, trust me,” he said cockily, leaning back in his chair.

“No you don’t.”

“Yes I do. I know you. I know everything about you, (Y/N). I even know how to make you scream my name in--”

“Okay!” you cut him off, not wanting the strangers around you to know the intimate details of your sex life with Eren. “Okay.”

“I knew you were gonna do that. See, I do know women.”

A moment or two passed, both of you staring at each other. You with a deadpan expression, and him with a proud one. You were the first one to break the silence with a heavy sigh. “Okay, say I agree to this. What do I get in return?”

“Anything you want,” he said. “Within reason, of course. Please don’t ask me to like, hide a body or something.”

Ignoring his last comment, you continued speaking, “You’re not allowed to back out of whatever I ask you to, right? If this plan fails or succeeds, you still owe me whatever you promised.”

Eren nodded. “Of course. I swear on it.” He shifted a little so his elbow was on the table, holding out a pinky. Instinctively, you held out your pinky as well and intertwined the both of them. Pinky promises were something you and Eren had been doing for years now. It meant that the other was dead serious on their promise.

The waitress came back with your broth and dipping ingredients, setting them on the table for you right when your pinkes left each other. Thanking the waitress, the two of you talked some more while you waited for the broth to heat up.

“We should make it official. With a contract and set of rules,” he said. “Like that one movie you forced me to watch with you. The Boys I Loved or some shit like that.”

“To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before,” you corrected.

“Yeah, that. They’re kinda doing something like us, yeah?”

“Guess so,” you shrugged, picking up your chopsticks and a sice of pork belly when the broth started to boil. “After we eat though.”

Idle chatter was shared between the two of you as you ate. Even though you saw each other nearly every day, you never ran out of things to talk to. You could be talking about complete nonsense or how quantum physics made no sense, and you would still have the best time of your life.

By now, the broth had been drunk up and the table had been cleared out to be replaced with banana milk and ice cream. Eren brought out his notepad again to write down the set of rules for your fake relationship while enjoying your desserts.

Good progress had been written so far on the notepad. Both of you had given input and criticism on each rule made. In the end, you finally had a good set of rules written down.

(Y/N) and erens contract and rules for eren yaegers fool proof plan to get mina aka operation rent a gf by eren yaeger 1. act normally. eren and (Y/N) act like a couple already. just double the pda a little more 2. don’t tell anyone about the deal. the more people who believe in the relationship, the more likely it is for the plan to work 3. post each other on ig a lot. maybe add names and a date to bios to make it more believable 4. date night every saturday (go out or just hang out) 5. go to parties together 6. walk each other to class if you can 7. call each other cute pet names 8. after breaking up, the couple act has to stop including the sex 9. DON’T SLIP UP

payment for (Y/N):

Eren tapped a beat on the notepad, reading “payment” over and over again. Eventually he looked up at you, deep in thought. “Have you thought of anything so far?” he asked, clicking the pen to write what you wanted.

This was a tough decision. Eren was ready to give you anything to help him get Mina. You had to be wise and pick something big to take advantage of him. Something you were sure you wouldn’t ever regret getting.

“How about,” you started, trailing off, “you do my laundry for the rest of our time at ParadisU, buy me lunch every Wednesday even after we break up, recommend that godsend of a tutor you keep gatekeeping to help me too, and…”

“And?” Eren asked, looking up from his writing, waiting for your next words.

“All the orgasms I want during our relationship,” you finished, satisfied with what you chose.

“Is that all?” he asked, writing down the last of your words. “That’s a lot.”

“How about I let you know if I wanna add more,” you said. Eren nodded in response. His head hung to look at the notepad again, writing something down. Once he was done, he plaed the pen on the pad and slid it to you.

“Sign it so it’s official,” he instructed.

There were two lines beside each other, one already with Eren’s signature. Without hesitation, you signed your name neatly on the paper, giving the items back to Eren once you were done.

payment for (Y/N): eren has to do the (Y/N)’s laundry for the rest of university, buy her lunch ever wednesday, get tutor to help her and give her as many orgasms as she wants during the course of the relationship

signed x eren yaeger x (y/n) (l/n)

The two of you shook hands when Eren put away his things, to seal the deal again. The waitress came by again to give you the bill and collect your dirty dishes. Eren set down the cash needed to pay along with a tip in the check presenter before the two of you left.

You walked hand in hand back to Erens car before you realized you missed something. “Wait. What do we tell people when they ask how we got together?” you asked, pausing in your tracks.

Eren stopped with you, turning to look at you. “Um, you can say I confessed after lunch, and that this is technically our first date,” he suggested, tugging your hand to walk back to the car.

“Huh. Okay. That works,” you nodded.

The two of you got into the car a little bit past 2:30 in the afternoon, ready to go home. “Wait,” you said again, making Eren pause. “Mikasa wanted a burger from that one joint near our apartment. Could you take me there first?”

Eren smiled and nodded, starting the car. “Of course. Burger with medium Coke and onion rings?”

“How did you know?”

“She always gets that when we go there.”

“Huh… I guess you’re right.”

“When am I not?”

"Always."

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italic names, it wouldn't let me tag you!

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