#i hope this was helpful because reading it back its kind of a mess lol
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your thanksgiving sounds a lot more eventful than mine lol but i had a nice day anyway. i love that you have a phil of the future url!!! would you say that era of disney channel is your fave? what other era would you pick if it's not that? i don't remember any of the era names that the server was talking about the other day 😅 - 🤶
I'm not really sure what my favorite era would be. I don't know the eras from the discussion very well and I actually don't really think the way people tend to split up the channel into eras are usually that helpful (it usually ends up being "old disney" aka "what i watched as a kid" and "new disney" aka "things that came out after i stopped watching")
I like a lot of stuff from different points of the channels history! My favorite zoog disney era show is lizzie mcguire! I actually haven't rewatched all of phil of the future yet lol but I was watching it when I noticed the url was available. I really like a lot of the newer shows (sydney to the max, andi mack, and gabby duran are some of my favorites).
#answered#Anonymous#gcwca secret santa#i hope this was helpful because reading it back its kind of a mess lol
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Hi can I please request a Jordan x reader . Reader has power that glitch & saves Jordan. Reader hey I am lucky that I didn’t get stuck in between a wall.
Thank you.
Flying Grand Pianos - headcanons
pairing: jordan li x gn! reader
tw: cursing, mentions of uncontrolled powers, cate and sam went to prison (i'm sorry okay! they're my pookies but for this fic to work i had to do something), uh nothing much ig? unless u have a phobia of falling pianos... then maybe don't read this??
description: your powers come in handy in the weirdest situations.
a/n: hiii hopefully u enjoy this! i literally did not mean to make this as insane as it ended up being but hey i'm sick and running on like too little sleep, i hope it's still entertaining tho cause i had sm fun writing this lol. i tried to integrate everything you said into headcanons cause it felt more apt ? ig... anyways requests are open & lmk ur thoughts <3
It was your final year at God U, somehow you had actually made it through the insanity that happened during junior year. You had even come out of the whole situation with a whole new group of friends… even if Cate and Sam sort of had to be locked away because of all the shit they did.
Thank whoever had decided to call the FBI because you had no idea how the entire situation might have turned out if Homelander showed up instead.
So life had turned back to normal towards the end of junior year, mostly because Vought was able to keep most of the situation quiet. Now you were only a step away from becoming an actual superhero… which was a strange situation to think about.
Your powers weren’t all that noteworthy but were insanely useful in battle and to get out of awkward conversations… especially since you were able to mostly control them.
You had the ability to glitch, which essentially meant you could manipulate the fabric of reality around you and mess with it (always with a limit of course, you weren’t an all-powerful magician). You mostly used it for teleportation or to mess with people, something that was always sooo worth it.
You also were kind of insanely good at dealing with actual glitches in computers, which made absolutely no sense but it did help adding to your skill set for your major.
There was probably one specific time where your powers worked in your favor in the best way possible. Over the past few years you sort of developed a tiny little miniscule (HUGE) crush on Jordan Li and now that you were actually able to call them your friend that tiny little crush grew into something way bigger.
What you weren’t aware of was that Jordan felt the same way, they always viewed you as this pretty incredible supe but never really had the chance to talk to you… until the whole The Woods situation. After that it almost made it harder for them to just ask you out on your date… because you had created such a tentative but strong friendship - something that Jordan hadn’t had since Luke. Something that they weren’t sure they would be able to walk away from again.
It was a few months into your senior year when the incident happened. It wasn’t something crazy like Homelander suddenly massacring the school instead it was an incident that belonged in the halls of a supe school… one of the new freshmen had somehow conjured up a piano in the middle of the damn sky and was unable to make it disappear.
The one problem with this piano was that it was falling... and falling really fucking fast.
You had been drinking one of your favorite drinks from Jitter Bean when you were surprised (and very concerned) to see a piano making its way towards Jordan - a very distracted Jordan who was talking, or rather yelling into their phone.
It barely took you a second to make the decision before you dropped your drink and glitched in Jordan’s direction - thank whatever all powerful force was out there for actually having it work because a moment later you reappeared next to Jordan and grabbed their arm before glitching again.
Suddenly you were standing in your room and Jordan was looking at you like an insane person before a loud crash and a whole bunch of yelling was heard outside the window.
Jordan shot a confused look before darting over to the window, only to find that a huge grand piano now stood (well not really it was sort of everywhere) where they had just been standing a moment ago.
You shot them a sheepish smile as they turned around to look at you with a dropped jaw.
“I actually can’t believe that worked, I’m lucky I didn’t accidentally get us stuck between a wall.”
lol i have no idea what this is but i like it anyways.
#gen v#gen v fanfic#gen v amazon#gen v spoilers#andre anderson#jordan li#marie moreau#luke riordan#golden boy#the boys#the boys fanfic#the boys tv#gen v tv#maria writes#the boys series#the boys amazon#jordan li x reader#jordan x reader#gen v x reader#jordan li x you#jordan li x y/n
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Memories of Us Chapter 4
Chapter list (1) (2) (3)
I have no clue what to even say, all the support, reblogs, and comments from everyone who has been reading this beautiful thing I've had in my daydreams has been pretty amazing. I can't thank you all enough 💕
Summary: Octavia has a little mess to clean up.
As always, thanks goes to my beta and best friend @micropoe10 . She's the driving force behind this idea because she kept telling me how good it was. So thanks, I owe you many lol.
Inspired by @cheesy-cryptid 's piece of fan art that buried itself in my brain and kept telling me what to write.
Chapter 4
"sleep til the sun burns out"
The next morning, Gale walks up to his shared office. Octavia should have already begun on the last of their tasks. At least a month of work finally coming to an end. They decided early on to share the office he had, after all one person doesn't need that much space to themselves. As he fumbles with the door, Astarion stops him. "Ah! My favorite assistant! Good morning Gale. I trust that you and our dear Octavia are prepared for the opening?"
Gale enthusiastically nods. The coffees he's got stacked on top of his pile of books are slightly shaking. He catches himself against the door and steadies the drinks, "Oh most definitely. Octavia has been staying after hours a few nights, at her insistence mind you, and she's incredible! She did at least three days of work in only half the time! I don't know what I would do without her at this point."
A small blush lands on his cheeks and he clears his throat. "Thank you for trusting me to bring her on board, she's a wonderful addition." Gale smiles awkwardly as Astarion gets in front of him and takes the cups. "Let me hold this for you before you wear this instead of your dashing sweater." Gale's shoulders fall a bit and he rolls his eyes.
They walk into the office to see a gigantic mess. Books, paperwork, pens, all matter of snack foods and energy potions surround Octavia and Gale's combined desks. "Octavia? Are you...?" Gale places his books on the desk softly, meanwhile Astarion places the cups down, picks up a book, and slams it on the table in front of her.
"I'M AWAKE! I'M HERE!!" Octavia springs up, a small note stuck to her cheek. She looks around bleary-eyed and rubs her face, as the room comes into focus, two faces come into view. Gale, and...OH SHIT. "MR. ANCUNIN! GOOD MORNING!!!"
She looks around and sees the mess left behind, quickly fixing her hair and ripping the note off her face. "I'm sorry, I didn't know" Gale mouths to her, he hands her the coffee and begins to gather the room. She puts her face in her arms and hides into the desktop. Thoroughly embarrassed, she lifts her head and looks at Astarion. "Good morning...sorry...I just really wanted to be done, and good news. It's done." She takes a lazy swig of her drink.
Astarion yawns and sips a bit from Gale's cup, coughing dramatically."Gods! How many sugars do you add to this?! This tastes absolutely vile!" He makes a disgusted face and places the cup back on the desk.
"Please tell me you aren't one of those people who asks for the drink with the longest name just to feel important?" He huffs, rolling his head to the side. "I'm not sure how to react to that." Octavia states, she looks down at the pile of papers Gale has already gathered.
She gets up to help, but Astarion stops her. "There's actually a reason I came by to see you both. Something that will pique both of your interests." Gale shoots him a suspicious glare, "What have you done now?" Astarion smiles and places down a well worn book, its black and red cover fraying like it's about to disintegrate if you sneeze in its direction.
"While I was away in the Underdark, I met with a lovely mind flayer and hobgoblin who had all kinds of interesting rare artifacts. One of which was this very book. They told me that this was procured during the siege on the Szarr estate, I'm hoping that it has more insight into our mysterious subject."
He slides the book over in between Octavia and Gale. "I'd love for the pair of you to tackle this long game Gale has played by himself. Octavia, your dedication to our last project surely landed you the task of caring for this book. Not a soul is to even breathe on it. That means you too, Gale."
He tilts his gaze over to Gale who scoffs a little at the notion that he can't read this book. "No offense, dearest Gale, I just don't want it leaving this office and we all know how you like to take work home." He pats Gale on the shoulder as he turns to leave the shared space.
"Also, one last thing. No more overnights, Octavia. You need your beauty rest, my darling. I've told you once before.." he leans in close to Octavia's left side and softly speaks near her ear "Can't have that beautiful mind of yours working too much, you'll turn into Gale, and I feel like you're far too much fun for that, hmm?"
She turns to him, their faces a few inches from each other. He's slightly taller than her, but in this closeness, he feels ten feet tall. His eyes hidden again behind pitch black lenses pierce through her, and the previous chill builds in her core, a shudder escapes her lips as the flush creeps onto her face. "Of course, sir, no more overnights."
She keeps her gaze on the glasses, her own eyes watching in return. She sees the vulpine expression start on his lips "Octavia, what have I told you about calling me 'sir'? We're in private chambers, not the atrium. Live a little, dearest." His voice dripped with suggestive candor.
Octavia on the other hand, was melting into the floor underneath her in return. She's never been around someone so well spoken, and it's pretty intimidating. "Of course....Astarion. I will go home tonight and sleep in my bed, not on my desk." She smiles timidly, back up at her as she looks towards him. "Wonderful, glad to hear it."
Astarion turns quickly on his heels, he must have somewhere to be. Octavia turns to Gale, an incredulous look on his face. "So he wants you to rest but he gives you another gargantuan responsibility to fulfill? I don't get that man sometimes." He shakes his head and keeps filing away paperwork.
—--------------------------------------------------
Later on, Octavia finalizes the displays and wanders back to her office. The last of the visitors are filing out, their dull rumblings and soft murmurs keep her company for a moment. As she turns the corner, mind elsewhere, she doesn't notice the person in front of her until it's too late.
The shock is like walking into a wall, her little pad falls to the floor and her forehead starts to feel warm. "You know, we really have to stop running into each other like this" there's a tiny sarcastic laugh behind the statement.
Astarion was standing in front of her and Gale's office holding two black envelopes adorned with silver writing. One for Gale and the other for her. "I meant to give this to you earlier. Before we got caught up in…all that…" he grimaces towards the office.
"Anyway, we're having a little party here for the board members, staff, beneficiaries, pretty much anyone who wants to have their name on a wing or a bench. I came to give you and Gale your invitations but you were both gone. Figured you actually listened to me for once." He shrugs loosely, picks up Octavia's notepad, and hands it back to her along with the envelope.
The black matte paper was smooth in her hands, her name embossed in silver leaf. She flips over the envelope and sees a silver wax seal with a Sharran symbol stamped in the middle. "Spared no expense, huh?" She remarks as she opens it.
"No, of course not. How do you think we pay for all the exhibits? We have to wine and dine these benevolent people to give us more gold to cover what I spent trying to convince other people to let me have their pretty little treasures they kept in dilapidated, crumbling, piles of rubble and bone for two hundred years." Astarion rambles sardonically, waving his hands as he rounds off. "That's all in a day's work for me. Having to put on airs to impress people who wouldn't even give me a second glance had I not worked my way up to where I am now. I've been one with the shadows for as long I can remember."
His voice lowers, a forlorn twinge to his words. "Having to sort through rushed, sloppy graves. You almost feel sorry for the corpses, I think I do. Hmm. Nevermind any of that. There's a dress code by the way. Black preferably. Spend some of that graduation money you mentioned and get yourself something nice."
He brushes some hair off Octavia's shoulder, his hand lingers there for a bit. She stares at his hand there and looks back at him, wide eyed. "You deserve it after all." He takes his hand off, placing both his arms behind his back. "Well I'm off. Looks like I'll have to look for Gale at his place. I'll see you there, dearest."
Tag list (thank you 🥹❤️, if you want to join, please let me know!) : @satanicspinosaurus @sleepy-timaeus @justporo
#bg3#astarion#baldur's gate 3#astarion ancunin#baldurs gate 3#bg3 astarion#gale of waterdeep#gale dekarios#astarion bg3#bg3 gale#fanfic#headcanon au#fic: memories of us#my fic
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Life chat
Hey! Um I’ve been absent for a long time and haven’t really posted about it. Although I think I’m ready to talk about it now? I think this is just a ramble about where my minds been at for some time.
Tw for chronic pain/illness, depression
As someone who deals with two chronic illnesses, it’s been hard to make content and talk online. My pain makes real life tasks such as work and chatting consume all of my energy. Even though I think about Digimon more than ever, it’s harder to find energy to go on tumblr/discord and talk about it.
In the past, the Digimon community has been an escape for me. A place where I don’t have chronic pain and depression. Unfortunately, these two issues have been strong enough to affect my activity in the online sphere, which makes me really sad. I had plans to do a redesign series for Tri (I love the movies, but I can admit the designs can be lacking near the end), an animatic for one of my favorite characters, and memes of the tamers and frontiers kids…but I just feel so worn out.
Right, so the main reason why I haven’t been here is unfortunately depression. Its gotten tough the past year and a half. I’m in therapy and have the Finch app to try combating this, but I’ve still had really rough periods that last around a month. My friends are aware and I’m currently doing better than a couple months ago, but I can’t help but feel absolutely exhausted from trying to do daily tasks.
Combine this with my chronic pain and I’ve just been a mess lol. I’ve had a couple of moments where I’ve snapped at irl friends from my frustrations and anger at my own limitations, which gave me lots of social anxiety with interacting and talking. I’m scared of being sad and negative all the time and dragging others down. I’m at a period where I want to reach out to others again and talk, but I’m scared.
I’m usually someone who thrives on social interactions and is great at reaching out to others online and irl to meet people, so it’s really weird for me to feel scared talking to others. I think my anxiety is now even worse online because I haven’t been supporting people here on tumblr and discord because I’ve been overwhelmed with the backlog of stuff I’ve missed. I feel so guilty. I’ve gotten notified about new chapters of my absolute FAVORITE fics, yet I can’t open a tab and give it a try.
I don’t know, I’m just kind of lost and trying to find balance in stormy waters. If I repetitively back online then disappear, that’s why.
I hope you’re doing well. I care about you all so I’m sorry if I came off as distant and upset. Thank you for reading my silly post 💛
#aboutsluggy#tw disability#tw chronic illness#tw chronic pain#cw chronic pain#tw depressing stuff#tw: depression
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give me novacaine || reader x myg
Lost and spiraling, Yoongi can’t stop himself from thinking about what he could have done differently to keep from losing you - if he'd been a better man, if he'd spent more time with you, if he'd been more affectionate, maybe he would have known sooner…and maybe he could have kept you from betraying him. Inspired by When I Was Your Man by Bruno Mars.
Pairing: reader x MYG (if you can call it that); feat. JK and Hobi
Word count: 5.6k
Rating: M / R (18+)
Genre: angst, breakup au
Warnings: descriptions of cuts, blood, and broken glass, (extremely) foul language, hobi being an angel as usual, jk being kind of a badass
A/N: hey there and welcome! this is the sequel to my fic bang bang (shameless plug) so i would definitely recommend reading that one first because you will probably be a bit confused if you don’t :) actually really enjoyed writing this one, so i hope you enjoy reading it just as much. beta’d and bannered as always by the amazing april (@onmypillow-onmytable)! thx! ly - robyn
P.S. I do not own BTS or their likenesses, nor do I own the music of Bruno Mars (lol), they just inspire me.
part of the unorthodox jukebox collection (masterlist)
“Wake up, sleepyhead.” A soft touch on Yoongi’s cheek draws him out of his slumber and back into real life.
“Hmm,” he grumbles, reluctantly opening his eyes to find you next to him, smiling gently, pale morning sunlight illuminating you from behind like a halo. “You couldn’t let me sleep a few minutes longer?”
“I couldn’t help it,” you say. “I like seeing you right when you wake up, all grumpy and half-asleep. Like a cat.”
Yoongi can’t help but let out a small chuckle. “I’ll get you for that.” He reaches out a hand to pull you toward him, bringing your face mere inches away from his.
“Good morning,” you say softly, staring into his eyes.
“Good morning.” He presses his forehead against yours.
“I was just thinking…” You hesitate. “I’ve never met anyone like you, Min Yoongi.”
“Oh? Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”
You lean in suddenly, placing a gentle kiss on his lips. “A good thing, of course. A very good thing.”
A crack of thunder sounds, jolting Yoongi awake. Rain beats against the full picture windows, fat drops streaming down like tears. He blinks, the insides of his eyelids feeling like full-grit sandpaper scraping against his corneas.
He wasn’t dead.
He was still very much alive. And on top of that, still dreaming about you, even though you were gone and every part of him that had once held love was filled with his hatred of you, his empty apartment still echoing with the sounds of your betrayal.
How unfortunate. Especially the part where he was still alive.
He sits up slowly, peeling the side of his face from the leather couch, and his head throbs so sharply and violently that his vision clouds. “Fucking hell,” Yoongi mutters, fingers digging into his pulsing temples, as if that would solve anything. He takes a glance around the room. The place is a mess. He struggles to his feet, swaying unsteadily as his vision starts to swim again. It’s dark still but just light enough to indicate that morning is on its way, ready to remind him that he’d been just stupid and just desperate enough to be taken in by your ruse. Something crunches underfoot as he’s feeling his way out of the room. He reaches down, feeling blindly for the source of the noise, and a sharp stabbing pain pierces into the soft, fleshy part of his hand. “Shit!” he snaps. It’s glass. Of fucking course it’s glass. The remnants of a whiskey bottle lay in pieces on the floor, and he remembered now, that he’d thrown it at the wall last night. Blood pools in the dip of his palm, the cut apparently deeper than it felt. “Perfect,” he says under his breath. “Just perfect.”
The water in the sink runs red for what feels like forever, but it finally stops long enough for him to disinfect it and wrap it in a swath of gauze and medical tape. The wrapping is sloppy, but it’ll keep everything in place for as long as it needs to. He’s struck suddenly by another memory.
“Ah, fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck. That hurts!” You’re supposed to be chopping vegetables for stir fry, but he looks over to see you gritting your teeth, a bloodstained dish towel wrapped around your hand.
“Let me see.” Yoongi reaches for the towel, but you nearly yank your hand away from him.
“No! I can’t.”
“Why not?” He reaches for it again.
“I’m afraid to look.” You squeeze your eyes shut while he unwraps the towel from your hand. Blood still oozes from a small but seemingly deep cut on your middle finger. “My finger is still there, right?”
“What finger? I don’t see a finger.”
Your eyes shoot open. “Yoongi! Come on.”
“Made you look.” He grins, pulling you over to the sink. “It’s just a little cut. Here, rinse it off first, and I’ll bandage it up for you.” You wait silently, wincing slightly as he dabs disinfectant on the cut. He wraps the bandage securely but not too tightly around your finger. “There.” Yoongi lifts your hand and kisses it gently. “Better?”
“Much,” you manage, cheeks coloring.
Could he have done more? He knows he should have – definitely could have – been better. On one hand, he’d tried, hadn’t he? He’d tried to be gentle and attentive, to go against all of his past experiences with women and relationships; his mother, for one, and her incessant stream of boyfriends, an array of different faces that were all the same, faces who would all sneer at him on his way out of the house and tell him to straighten up and respect his mother. He’d ended up something like her anyway, for a time, an near-ceaseless series of one night stands and unattached partners filtering in and out of his apartment for a good part of his early twenties – but that was different. You were different. He hadn't ever loved any of them the way he loved you. He'd tried to never let you see the side of him that could be angry and sometimes violent. On the other hand – he should have known better. It wasn’t like you were his first anything. He should have known that some women wanted more than just your time. They wanted to be doted upon, made to feel special, surprised with the occasional gift or dinner out on a random Tuesday – and he hadn’t done a very good job of that. He wasn’t good at giving gifts, unlike Hoseok, who somehow seemed to be able to intuit the perfect gift for someone within minutes. He hadn’t ever gotten the impression any of that was something you wanted, and it certainly wasn’t something he wanted, either. He hated those types of little grand gestures. They were sappy. Cringe-inducing. Unoriginal. All qualities he’d never considered himself to possess.
Was that really all it would have taken for you not to stab him in the back? A surprise date at the nicest restaurant in the city? Could a bouquet of flowers on a random Wednesday make you call it off with every other guy you were seeing? There was no way it could be that simple, could it? If it was, then maybe all of his teachers were right, and he really was the biggest idiot in South Korea, if he hadn't managed to figure that one out. Yoongi closes his eyes and lets out a short laugh, his bandaged hand still humming with pain. “I really must be a dumbass, huh, y/n?” he mutters. “Stupidest motherfucker on the planet. Is that what you wanted? Fucking flowers?”
He checks the time on his watch. Quarter to six. Too late to go back to bed and too early to go to work. Not even go-getter Jungkook shows up to work that early, and despite being in charge Yoongi is never there before eight or nine unless he has to be. Well, someone has to clean up the glass in the front room, and he can’t show up for work still reeking of whiskey. Jungkook does pretty much nothing but eat and work out in his spare time; he’ll throw Yoongi over one shoulder like a sack of flour and carry him back home to sleep it off if he so much as catches a whiff, so a shower is in order before he can go anywhere. It may not be much but he’s got to do something to keep his mind off you and all of the little things he did wrong.
The shower does little to improve his mood or his raging headache, but the show must go on, as they say, and he forces himself out the door shortly after eight. As glad as he is to have you and your lies out of his life, he has to admit his apartment feels empty without you, silent in a way that it hasn’t felt since the first time he invited you over. Once he’s at work he quickly sequesters himself in his office, the door shut firmly behind him, and an hour or so in only confirms what he knows already but doesn’t want to acknowledge: he’s not going to be getting much of anything done today. The rain is still beating a lull against his windows, the task at hand is long forgotten, and a nap is sounding more and more appealing by the second. His mind is already starting to drift, eyelids dropping shut like window shades.
There’s a quick rap at the door, and whoever is out there doesn’t even wait for a response before it opens. “Yoongi-ssi?” Jungkook's looming figure hovers tentatively in the doorway.
“Hm?” Yoongi barely lifts his head from where it’s propped on his good hand. “What, Jungkook?” He can’t even muster up the energy to bark at Jungkook like he usually does when he hesitates a second too long; he can only turn his head slightly and squint in the younger man’s direction.
“Is…everything okay?” Jungkook says finally, stepping further inside. “You look like shit.”
“Thanks for that,” mutters Yoongi, eyes still half-closed. “I’m fine. Go away.”
Jungkook ignores him. “You really don’t look so good, Yoongi. Are you sure you should be here right now?”
“I said I’m fine,” he snaps, wincing as a sharp pain shoots through his head. “Don’t you have work to be doing?”
“Well, yeah, but—”
“So get out of my office and go do it, then.” Yoongi scowls. “I’m not paying you for your company.”
“Okay,” Jungkook says, eyebrows pinching in concern, “but, you know, I would understand if you wanted to take the rest of the day. We don’t really have a lot going on at the moment, just a couple of small cases. I can take care of things for a day or two. That’s kinda why you hired me, isn’t it?”
“I’m fine, Jungkook.” Yoongi lets out a heated sigh. “What I want is for you to leave me alone. Please,” he adds as an afterthought. “Just go away.”
Jungkook doesn’t budge, instead staying firmly rooted in front of the desk. “What happened, hyung?”
Yoongi doesn’t speak right away, knowing exactly what Jungkook is asking. “It’s over,” he murmurs. “She’s gone. That’s all you need to know. I don’t want to talk about it.” No need to tell him how you tried to defend yourself, even with the photographic evidence right in front of you, or any of the horrible things you both said to each other, or about the deafening silence that fell after you stormed out, the long night of beating himself up over every little regret that followed and trying to drown out the voices in his head.
He eyes Yoongi skeptically, gaze twitching from his face to his bandaged hand. “You didn’t do anything…crazy, did you?”
“Of course not,” he grumbles, shoving the injured hand under his desk. “Y/n L/n is still out there walking around on her own two hooves, I promise. Jesus, Kook, who do you think I am, huh? I may be impulsive but I’m not stupid enough to kill anyone.”
“Then…what did you do to your hand?”
“Broke a bottle. Sliced my hand open while I was trying to clean it up. Any more questions, or can we move on? I’m really not in the mood for this.”
“No, I guess not,” Jungkook says quietly, dropping his head to avoid eye contact. “I’m sorry. I know how you felt about her, but…it’s for the best.”
A rush of anger floods through him. No, you don’t. You don’t know how I felt. You don’t know what it’s like at all. Being unwanted, everyone, yourself included, wishing you would just disappear, then thinking finally, here’s someone who accepts you, someone who loves you, despite every bad thing you’ve ever done, only to have it all blow up in your face because she never loved you, she was only stringing you along for her own amusement. It’s mortifying. You don’t know anything. And I hope to God you never do. I hope you stay blissfully ignorant of the way real pain and heartbreak feels, because it’ll make you want to crawl into a hole and die. He doesn’t say any of what he’s thinking and simply shrugs. “What’s done is done. Like I said, I don’t really want to talk about it. Let’s get to work, huh?”
“Yeah. For sure.” Jungkook turns to leave, then hesitates. “She wasn’t a good person, Yoongi. I wouldn’t lose too much time thinking about her. There’ll be someone else one day. Someone who’ll be a better match for you than she ever was. I guarantee it.”
“It’s fine,” Yoongi says, though it isn’t. “I’m already past it. Just go, okay? Close the door on your way out.” What is it with Jungkook and making promises he can’t keep? That’s his problem right there, guaranteeing this and that and hoping for the best when the only thing anyone’s guaranteed in life is death. For all Jungkook knows Yoongi is destined to die alone, just like you said, and even that would be more than he could have hoped for. Maybe you’re right, and no one will ever love him but you, not that you had ever really loved him anyway. He knows he’s hard to love: stubborn, ornery, a little too private for most people's liking. Spend most of your life getting knocked around the way he has and it's no wonder no one wants anything to do with him. He's damaged goods, after all. Scratches and dings everywhere. Too much baggage for even the most sainted person to deal with. Maybe he is better off alone. It’s lonely, but no one gets hurt that way. Hearts stay guarded, hearts stay intact. Is that the secret?
Almost as soon as Jungkook leaves, his phone vibrates on his desk. His number is private, which means it can only be one person. He sighs and allows the call through. “Yeah?”
"Yoongi-ah!" Hoseok's exuberantly cheerful voice breaks through the speakers. Yoongi has always wondered how one person can be in such good spirits all the time. "I'm glad I caught you. I was wondering, did you mean to call me last night?"
"No," says Yoongi. "Just an accident. Sorry.” What he doesn't know won't hurt him.
"Huh. Okay." Now he sounds skeptical. He can almost see Hoseok’s face pursing into a frown. “Because I could have sworn I heard—”
“It was nothing, Hobi,” he says firmly. “I was drinking and I must have bumped your number or something. That’s all.”
“Drinking on a weeknight? Is everything okay?”
Damn it. Why does Hoseok have to know him so well? “Everything’s fine. Had a rough day at work yesterday. You know how it is.” Hoseok doesn’t know exactly what it is he does for a living, but he has some idea.
“Well…okay.” He can tell his friend still doesn’t believe him. “I guess I was imagining things. But, you know you can always talk to me, right? If there’s ever something you want to talk to me about. I’m here to listen.”
“Yeah. Of course.” Yoongi swallows hard, the words sticking in his throat.
Hoseok continues. "Anyway, while I’ve got you, I was going to ask if you wanted to come over for dinner sometime. It's been forever. Hyorin and I would love to see you. And when are you going to come see your godson? Junho has grown so much, you’d barely recognize him if you saw him.” Junho is what, six months old now? Hoseok and Hyorin had insisted on making him Junho’s godfather when he was born, despite Yoongi’s protests, saying there was no one better for the job than him. “Bring y/n with you. We’ve been dying to meet her. And I have to see for myself the woman who managed to crack through that tough outer shell of yours so quickly.” Hoseok likes to claim that it took a year’s worth of his mother’s lunches for Yoongi to crack even slightly, while for you it only took a matter of months to get right to the heart of things.
His words stab at Yoongi's chest like knives. “Uh…yeah. We’ll have to get together sometime.” Coward. The word floats in front of his eyes again, the same way it did last night when he hung up instead of talking to Hoseok. What kind of coward are you that you can’t even tell your best friend that it’s over, that she’s gone, that she played you for a fool? How long are you going to go on dodging him and letting him think everything is fine when it’s not? “About that,” says Yoongi. “Y/n and I – we broke up. Yesterday.”
“What?” Yoongi can tell Hoseok is genuinely floored by this. “Are you — really? What happened? Didn’t you say you were about to ask her to move in with you? Officially?”
Yoongi chuckles bitterly. “We discovered some, uh, irreconcilable differences. And she cheated on me. With multiple people.”
"Yoongi..." Hoseok sighs. "I'm sorry. I wouldn’t have said anything if I’d known. You doing okay?"
“Oh, I'm fine,” Yoongi says dismissively. "I'll get through it, I always do. You know me. Anyway, better to have that all out in the open now than later, right?” He can’t even force himself to imagine what it would be like if they’d been married. At least ten times worse, probably. Would he have ever even wanted to be married to you? He’d barely even begun to think about the possibility, to picture what it would be like to have you as his wife, to start a family with you. A happy little family, something he’d never had before. The very idea repulses him now.
“You don’t have to hide it, you know.” Hoseok seems to know something he isn’t letting on. “It’s okay to be upset. That was a shitty thing for her to do. It’s a shitty thing for anyone to do. You wouldn’t be the only one to—”
“Aish, seriously, I’m fine.” Yoongi rubs at his forehead in frustration, unwilling to admit that Hoseok is absolutely right. “I knew it was all going to come to an end sooner or later. Everything does for me. It just came sooner than I expected.”
Hoseok pauses momentarily, and for a second Yoongi wonders if maybe he’s gone too dark on him. ”Listen, why don’t you come over tonight instead?” Hoseok says finally. “Hyorin is making dakgalbi. I know it’s your favorite, and she always makes enough to feed the entire military. You should come. We can catch up. What do you think?”
Yoongi lets out a humorless laugh. “Your wife, who likes me for some reason, just so happens to be making dakgalbi the day after I find out my girlfriend has been cheating on me for the better part of our relationship? Almost sounds too good to be true.” Just as it had been for someone like you to have any real interest in him at all. Too good to be true.
“It must be fate then.” He pictures Hoseok shrugging. “And you shouldn’t argue with fate, right?”
“Thanks, but I think I’ll take my chances. I’ve managed so far, haven’t I?” Managed to screw everything up and drive everyone who matters away from you, he thinks. “I don’t think I’d be very good company right now, anyway.”
“Okay, well, if you won’t come over for dinner, I’ll bring you leftovers tomorrow. How about that?” Hoseok is just the same as he’s always been: trying to take care of Yoongi when it should really be the other way around. He must have had such a glowing, happy childhood to end up this kind and caring as an adult. How had a fuckup like Yoongi ever managed to become friends with someone as pure as Hoseok?
“Fine,” he relents. “You do that. But call first, okay?”
“Of course.” Voices sound behind him on the other end of the line. “Listen, I’ve got to go now, but we’ll talk tomorrow, all right? And Yoongi?”
“What?”
“It’s not your fault. I know it hurts right now, but she chose to cheat all on her own. You didn’t make her do it. So cut yourself some slack, okay? Someday it’ll all work out.” Why does everyone keep trying to tell him that? It’s all just empty platitudes anyway. Nothing works out for him. It never has. In fact, it’s surprising that his own company hasn’t crashed and burned yet.
He hears your scornful voice in his ears again. If you’d paid more attention to me, you would have figured it out sooner. You don’t care. You never cared. Would Hoseok still be saying that if he knew the whole story about what I was doing back then? Yoongi wonders. Would he still choose to see only the good in me? Would he still be willing to call me his friend? Godfather to his firstborn child? Anything at all? “Yeah, right. I’m sure. Thanks anyway.”
“I’m your best friend. It’s what I’m here for.” Hoseok hangs up.“You’re my only friend,” mutters Yoongi dryly, long after the line has gone dead.
He should not be doing this. Not today. But he’d insisted to Jungkook that he was fine, and being fine meant leaving the office for a few hours to do some surveillance for a case they were working. It wasn’t as if Jungkook had forced him; if anything he’d basically told him that he could handle it on his own, as he’d been saying all morning, but that it was easier for two people than one, just in case anything happened. Yoongi had decided to come anyway, his headache having tapered off some, and the distraction would – hopefully – keep his mind off everything, namely you. He was beginning to regret that decision, almost as soon as he’d made it. The rain still hadn’t let up, and the guy they were supposed to be tailing hadn’t moved from his table at the cafe where he’d been sitting for the past forty-five minutes. It was hard to believe that the client thought that this guy was even a threat to their personal safety – but a job was a job, and a paranoid client with deep pockets was better than no client at all.
How things had changed in the past ten years of his life. Ten years ago he was still pickpocketing people like his client, on top of working long, miserable hours in the kitchen of some god-awful restaurant, having to scrape just to put food in his mouth and pay the rent on his tiny shithole of an apartment. Of course his mother had been no help; she’d been the one to kick him out in the first place, claiming she’d already done her duty by allowing him to live rent-free under her roof for nineteen years, as if he were just some freeloading roommate and not her son. Yoongi’s thievery had started innocently enough, as innocent as lifting wallets off unsuspecting people could be. A means to an end. That was all it was ever supposed to be, a way to supplement his measly paycheck when things were tight. Then the wrong people had taken notice of his talents, turning it into something far bigger and far darker than he had ever intended for it to be, and sending him hurtling down a path he’d never wanted to venture down, but found himself unable to stop until it was almost too late. Was it his fault, then, that things had ended up this way? All of his past transgressions, everything he’d done and regretted now, falling in love with someone who would never truly be his in any capacity - had all of that been preordained the moment he lifted that first wallet in Gangnam Station? Yoongi was starting to think you might be right, that no matter how much good he did, no matter how many people he protected and thefts he prevented, he would always remain the same on the inside. He could put on an expensive suit and cut his hair and act like he was doing it all for the greater good, but deep down he’d always know it was just that: an act. He was, in the purest sense of the word, a fraud. Just as you had said. A fraud, a liar, and a thief.
What if you did decide to go back on your word? What if you told everyone – his clients, his colleagues, his friends – about how he’d gotten to be where he was? Would it make any difference? He’d threatened to reveal it himself – but would he? Could he allow everything he’d so carefully built to come crumbling down like a house of cards? If any of that happened he would be right back where he started ten years ago. Alone. Hoseok probably wouldn’t want anything to do with him if he knew what Yoongi had done to get by, certainly wouldn’t want him anywhere near his wife and son. Jungkook, perhaps, could be counted on to stick around, but Yoongi wasn’t holding his breath. Maybe that would be a good thing. No more secrets. No more lies. No friends or associates. A fresh start.
“Yoongi-ssi?” Jungkook’s voice crackled in his earpiece, startling him back into reality. “Status report?”
Yoongi glanced up at the man’s table, which was currently being bussed – because it was empty. “Fuck!” he swore under his breath, hurrying out onto the street.
“Something happen?” says Jungkook.
Yoongi sighs angrily. “Something happened, all right. I lost him, Kook.” The guy might not have been dangerous, but he’d walked away right in front of him – and Yoongi hadn’t even noticed because he was lost in his head, daydreaming about the past. How stupid did he have to be to let that happen? “He was there two minutes ago, I swear.”
“Shit,” he hears Jungkook mutter. “Well, he’s on foot, he can’t have gotten far. I’m in the area. Let me see what I can do.” Jungkook goes silent.
Yoongi paces on the sidewalk, unsure what to do with himself. He’s never lost a tail before, not like this. Not even someone trying to lose themselves in a crowd could shake him off. He’s useless. Especially today. The rain pours, pelting painfully against his skin.
Pathetic, sneers your voice in his head again. I thought you were supposed to be good at this.
“Got him.” His colleague’s triumphant voice finally breaks through after what seems like an eternity. “Headed for the subway station. We’ll probably lose contact once I’m underground, so I’ll touch base once I’m topside again.”
He used to wonder where Jungkook would be without him – probably still working for the gangster his father owed money to, still under the guise that he’d be dismissed whenever the debt was paid – but now Yoongi wonders where he’d be without Jungkook. The kid is too good for this business, he thinks, and should really be doing something more honorable with his skills. Police work, maybe, or working in intelligence, not private security. Something entirely unrelated, even. He’s far too talented to waste his life working for someone like Yoongi. “Good.” He exhales a sigh of relief, pinching at the space between his eyes. “Stay on him.” Jungkook doesn’t need him, not anymore. Maybe he never did. Maybe that was just something he’d always told himself to make himself feel better about essentially hijacking the trajectory of Jungkook’s life. “You going to be alright if I head home? I don’t think I’m going to be much use here.”
“I’ll be fine, but…” Jungkook sounds like he wants to say something else but holds back. “Okay. Have a good night, boss. I’ll update you when I get back to the office.”
“Thanks.” says Yoongi gruffly. “And…I’m sorry.”
"Don't worry about it," says Jungkook. "I've been telling you to go home all day. Go on, I've got this covered."
Yoongi chuckles wryly before he pulls his earpiece out. Home. That might be the last place on earth he wants to be right now. But where else is he going to go?
It’s been a long day. A very long day. One with a lot of thinking, and still more to go. The front room is back in order and dark shadows are beginning to fall around him as the rainy afternoon gradually fades into night. He's staring out at the city skyline, lights blinking on one by one like stars, contemplating his next move when his phone vibrates. Jungkook, presumably with an update on today's subject. "Nothing too interesting to report. You were right, the guy’s harmless."
"Hah," Yoongi scoffs. "I wouldn't take my word for it."
"I'll keep an eye on him," says Jungkook, "and let you know if anything else comes up."
"Sounds good." Yoongi hesitates. "Listen, Jungkook…about earlier. I'm thinking about taking some time off work. Do you think you could handle things for a while?"
"Of course I can. But how long is a while?"
"I don’t know. Indefinitely?" The line goes silent and Yoongi is momentarily afraid that he's lost him. "Kook, you still there?"
"Yeah. Still here." Jungkook sounds stunned. "I was trying to figure out if you just said what I think you just said. You said indefinitely, right?"
"As in, I'm not sure when I'll be back? No, you heard me right."
"Well…why?" He pictures the puzzled look on Jungkook’s face, eyes widening, eyebrows scooting together in confusion.
Yoongi lets out a sigh and stares down, examining the bandage on his hand. “Got some things to sort out. I’m not sure that I can trust myself right now, and I don’t think I should be doing this when I can’t even trust my own judgment. It’s risky for all of us. Someone could get hurt.” That’s all he wants. Just once in his life, for people to stop getting hurt because of him.
“Right. I understand that, and I recognize what you’re doing, but Yoongi, you know what you’re asking, don’t you? A couple of days is one thing, but I have no idea how to run things for that long. Especially when I don’t know when you’ll be back. You know I don’t mind doing it, it’s just…a really big ask.”
“I’ll be back, Jungkook. It’s not like I won’t.” Yoongi chuckles. “You’re the only one that’s qualified. And you’re the only one I trust to do this. I can trust you, right?” The question is almost rhetorical. The kid has more than proven himself in the whole time he’s known him.
He hears Jungkook take a deep breath. “Of course. You can count on me, hyung. I’ve got this.”
“That’s good to hear.” Yoongi does feel bad about leaving it all on Jungkook to pick up the slack, but he knows he can handle it. Things will be just fine without him, at least for a while. Everything always has been. Black Swan might even be better off with Jungkook at the helm instead of him. “I’m sorry for dropping this on you at the last minute.”
“Please,” Jungkook scoffs. “I told you, I’ve got this.” His voice changes, growing softer, less brash. “So…what will you do while you’re gone?”
“Hm. Not sure yet.” Yoongi smiles faintly. “You know, I’ve never really been on a vacation. Maybe I’ll leave the city, go somewhere sunny. Tropical and warm. Maybe the mountains.”
“That’ll be nice.” There’s a beat of silence. “So…this is it, then,” Jungkook says. “You’re really going.”
“Don’t get all sappy on me now, Kook,” says Yoongi briskly. “I’m your boss. We’re not really friends, are we?” They’re not friends, not just colleagues. They’re partners. Is that really any different?
“Yeah. Sorry. Well, good luck, boss. I’ll be here, as long as you need me to be. I hope you get everything figured out.”
“Yeah.” Yoongi heaves another sigh. “Me too. Goodbye, Jungkook. I’ll be in touch.” He hangs up before Jungkook can get any sappier on him and stares down at his hands again. He’ll leave town, maybe in a few days or so, go somewhere far away and stay there until it feels right to come back. But there’s one last thing he has to do tonight before he can go anywhere.
The door in front of him swings open, and the savory smell of stir-fried chicken wafts out. “Yoongi?” Hoseok looks him up and down, taking in Yoongi’s rain-soaked appearance. “What are you – did you walk here? It’s pouring out. You’ll get sick.” Same old Hoseok, the mother he never had.
“Hobi,” he says, ignoring his friend’s fussing. “Sorry I didn’t call first, but I was in the neighborhood and I got to wondering…does that dinner invitation still stand?”
“Always, but…” Hoseok falters. “I thought you said—”
“You know I can’t resist free food.” Yoongi smirks. “And…” He hesitates. His past is dark, littered with thorns and broken glass, winding paths to hell built upon good intentions. He can’t change that. But he can change his present – his future, too. And it starts with being honest with the people around him, whatever the fallout may be. No more secrets. No more lies. Especially to the people he cares about. “I decided I could really use someone to talk to.”
“Okay, well – get in here, then.” Hoseok pulls him inside, where it’s warm and bright and filled with life. “We’ve got a lot to catch up on.”
Things will be better without you. Not now, but eventually. Maybe someday it will all work out like everyone keeps trying to tell him. Maybe there is still happiness to be found in this life.
©2023 by mrworldwideshoulders | main masterlist | collection masterlist
#mrworldwideshoulders#bts#bts fanfic#bts fanfiction#bts angst#bts series#bts x reader#bts au#reader x yoongi#reader x suga#reader x min yoongi#yoongi x reader#yoongi angst#yoongi fanfiction#yoongi fanfic#min yoongi x reader#breakup au#bts x you
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Do you have any advice for keeping motivation going when writing longer fics? I’ve tried a couple times to write longer fics but my motivation almost always dies out quickly even when I have ideas galore. I get really sad that I’ve never written anything over like 14k 😭
Aaaah idk if I'm qualified to give writing advice but I'll try! If these don't work for you, please ignore them!!
I think my best advice might be my favorite technique: WRITE OUT OF ORDER. Think chapters ahead and write scenes or even just snippets for things toward the end of the story you have in mind, even if you change the outline and end up cutting those scenes later. If you need, have a different doc just for writing future scenes or put the snippets under a cut at the bottom of your wip doc. It'll give you a goal to work towards and help you think about the story as a whole. So just, I guess, pick the scenes you're most excited about throughout the entire story and start with those, and the rest will follow as you get excited about the scenes that fill in the gaps. Don't be afraid to write messy. Nothing is wasted; even the scenes that you cut help you explore and process the ones that stay.
I think I'm kind of just obsessive as a person and I get writing blinders, like. I'm cranky if I go too many hours at a time without writing, so I'm almost constantly writing on my phone. If you only write on your computer and find yourself losing momentum, maybe try writing on your phone whenever you have an idea for accessibility's sake? It could keep your story on your mind and keep the juices flowing.
Another thing is to REREAD YOUR WRITING. Start from the beginning of your fic and just reread what you have, and the inertia might help you remember or come up with what happens next. This kind of goes hand-in-hand with the general "write what you want to read" and tbh it helps you fall in love with your own writing.
One of my weaknesses is that I get too many different fic ideas, so I keep ONE doc per fandom with just blurbs of different AUs separated by line breaks lol. That helps me keep the runaway ideas contained, and if there's one that gets too big because I can't stop writing for it, it graduates to its own doc and becomes an active wip (I still have too many tbh but I'm trying to just stick with the ones I'm posting for now).
If you have ideas galore for one wip you want to work on, write them down in a list, no matter how disorganized. When you're IN your passion for writing that idea, get down as many scenes or even just blurbs you like about it while the energy lasts. Hopefully that can help hook your attention on it, because you'll have already devoted attention to your favorite parts of it. Don't try to organize the ideas as you go; you can clean up later. Don't even worry if the scenes conflict while you're still playing around with them. Just create and write freely while you're feeling the height of your motivation. And don't worry!! Even if you lose motivation for a while, it doesn't mean it won't come back!! Don't let a loss of inertia make you feel discouraged!!
So I guess in summary:
1. Write the scenes you're excited about, regardless of order or outline, and cut and organize later
2. Keep your wip at your fingertips
3. Reread your writing
4. Contain the other wip ideas
5. Losing steam for a while doesn't mean the end!
I hope this contains something helpful for you! Everyone's writing process is different and mine's a mess, but it's a fun mess.
Honest to goodness, do you have any advice for me on writing oneshots?? Probably my biggest downfall is that I can't wrap oneshots up neatly and finish a short work. I admire people who can take an idea and conclude it efficiently. 😭
#tuzi-dianxia#writing#oh look it talks#i tried#i honest to god just cant shut up#i just posted a 4k fic and was so proud like i did it!! i kept something contained to a oneshot!!#and now the wip has 11.4k more words in it and ive cried multiple times while writing future scenes#god im sorry this is so long#good writing has good language economy#i know this and am unfortunately immune to learning it
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Hi Steph! i messaged you a while back because someone recommended my fic, and it was very touching. well after hiatus, I finished the entirety of season 1 of Reichenbach Falls! one third is done, which comes up to 550K words! I am so excited to have actually pulled it off, oh my god it was like birth, and i was hesitatnt to post because, well, it was a long time since my last update. but of course I'm not done with it LOL, it's gonna haunt me more as I publish s2 which is the next 110 chapters out of 303(https://archiveofourown.org/works/26233390/chapters/128797882#workskin). Season 1 can now be read as a standalone, since it is all finished and came full circle. I just had to share because I am so proud of myself for once??
oh and i wanted to share my friend Bee's illustration of Jim Moriarty, who is the bad guy, of course, a mixture of himself and Bill Cipher. He's gorgeously MURDEROUS!
he is the GOAT. as is my lovely friend who drew him over a year ago when we brainstormed season 2. He's just the perfect little meow meow.
I guess that's it C: I am just excited, and proud, and ready to write the sequel hehe *hides away from exam season*
I started this fic when I was 20, now I'm 23 and it's like having a toddler, IT WONT LET ME SLEEP AT NIGHT!
That's it I guess haha, sorry for the chaos (it's thematic with Jim, tho), but I'm a little ball of emotions and I actually managed to log into this tumblr lmao
I hope you have a lovely day, as everyone else too :) you guys are the best here! thank you for being so kind :)
MWAH
Reichenbach Falls by VeeTheRee(M, 551,435+ w., 105/303 Ch. || WiP || Gravity Falls / Multifandom AU || Alternate First Meeting, Gay Sherlock, Mutual Pining, Unilock, Summer Romance/Love, Fluff, Insecure Sherlock, Villain Mary, First Kiss, Slow Burn, Doctor Who, Supernatural, Canadian John, French Canadian Lestrade, Insecure Sherlock, Mystery, Domestic Fluff, Developing Relationship Summer Love, Light Angst, BAMF! John, Case Fic) – Two Canadians, two Brits studying in Canada, and an upkeeper walk into a Mystery Shack…. and live there. Summer holidays are here, and the step-siblings, Irene Adler and Sherlock Holmes, find themselves in a boring town called Reichenbach Falls, Oregon, USA. It isn’t as boring as it seems, however, once Sherlock stumbles upon a mystery journal, and the author is unknown. The journal contains ciphers, a strange colour wheel, and information about magical creatures that are said to be looming in the Northwestern forests. With mysteries to solve in hand, he and Irene set out to get to the roots of the town, and the abrupt disappearance of the author of the journal. But they’re not alone - John Watson, quite the handsome nephew of the Mystery Shack owner Greg Lestrade, is on their side to help out, plus mess with Sherlock’s feelings, in a good way. Shenanigans, romance, fun, danger, and deductions ensue. Oh, and there’s also occasional SuperWhoLock and two dorky Winchester brothers to spark up the action later on. Part 1 of the Reichenbach Falls series
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HEY LOVELY!!! <3 <3 <3
SO happy to hear about the progress of the fic! I know you have a small fandom here who are eager to read the next season, and we're happy to hear that it's on its way!!!
And NEVER apologize for being chaotic!! I and everyone here loves it!!
Everyone go give this fic some love, and, if you haven't checked it out yet, give it a read! <3
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Current thoughts: The way Jason and Dick love each other and the strange balance they present through their dynamic by just existing within each other's presence that causes a state of neutralization.
Jason is akin to a state of intoxication
Because Dick is all anger and rage that has been bottled up and taught hard chains and lines to cope rather than a release - it festers into something ugly and brutal and always licks at the back of his teeth to be let out. It's bandaids given by the weeping over gaping vivisections performed by loss and grief that never go away, sometimes he’ll wake up and swear he can feel blood on his fingers - sliding down to stain the white sheets under him. And he’s mastered masking it - not touching it - not letting it heal but not letting anybody see and using it to fuel the hunger that gets him through the night, the relish of broken bones and justification.
And for the shitty start they had Dick never actually thought the kid who grated against him would become the soothing feeling of forgetting. Because when spikes fall to reveal something so soft and endearing it's as if Dicks brain rearranges its own anatomy - like his dopamine release was directly connected to the kid who skates around him with a taunting smile he can't help but bite playfully at. And the wound is still there - and Dick doesn't know if it'll ever actually heal but there's something more secure - because Jason sews him up and offers to wait until it turns into nothing but a scar. And maybe it'll never heal - but Jason is prepared to stay forever and the thought of a future with this ridiculous kid that's climbed his way into his open chest settles Dick in a way he hasn't known since he was in the circus.
Dick is likened to something of an addiction
Because for all Jason is hard thorns and armor - hostile architecture coating his skin like how they once chased him out of safe spaces on the street - it's to protect a softer inside. Jason’s actions are presented through anger - but they were transformed from a perpetually bleeding love - the kind that lets you crush his skull under your foot and he’ll love you from hell. It's tender in the hurt - and delicate in its state and so full it might burst - the love Jason harbors for the wicked. And Jason knows anger is the only thing he's capable of - and he doesn't know where to direct it but he keeps drowning in his own guts and he's drowning - drowning - and almost gone. Robin fights for justice, he has no idea what he fights for without the mask - violent caresses of a heart.
And then there's this pull - a tug, a draw, a heave - and he's being dragged forward and he doesn't know where but there's a direction now and it always leads back to eyes so blue they mimic the sky. Dick is an addiction - and Jason has a past with shit like this - but he thinks it might be ok this one because the bruises decorating his bones like a curse are slowly healing. It's found in the way his barbs and threats fall short - a manufactured high - they don't quite reach and eventually they wilt and fall off until he's left bare and vulnerable. It's presented messily but so endearingly in the way he seems to have a second metaphorical stomach that's always hungry for Dicks attention - and suddenly it's easier to know what to do. Because he might mess this up but as long as Dick is here he knows how to seek him out - there's an end goal and now there's a little dirt path highlighted by laughter and lazy smiles.
(ahh hope this one actually catches what i'm trying to say this was a struggle lmao - recovering from a tongue piercing is no joke.)(also ill for sure send an ask if i do make the writing blog!!)
Jason being intoxicating and Dick being addictive is such a concept and I think I actually really adore it (because I think this might actually be how I default write them LOL, especially in WtMBU/N&R verse and I know an addiction/intoxication motif reads as toxic but idc fffffffff). Thank you again anon for another lovely introspective on dickjay. It's so thought-provoking!! Also I wish you all the best with the new piercing; I'll be hoping for smooth sailings during the recovery. (｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡
Your analysis on Dick is a take I'm so immensely fond of though. There's nothing I adore more than when someone explores the darker side of this man. The side of him that's hurt and stays hurting because he never lets himself heal - because he's healed wrong. The side of him that's vicious and volatile, cold and cruel. It's not that Dick is always this way; it's not the forefront of his personality/character, but it's there. He's capable of wicked things: violent, ugly, brutal. Dick carries so much grief with him that it wrecked him, ruined him. With the hard lines he's learned to cope through, where else can his rage go but to tearing at his own skin and through his muscle; blood caked under his nails and lungs overfull from all the screams he's had to swallow down.
The self-restraint Dick is capable of is self-harm called discipline because it's nicer, more respectable. It's a slow and cruel death, but over time Dick has resigned himself to rot - psyche too tired from the burdens: I can't, I shouldn't, I won't.
Dick not being broken, per se, but fractured. No one being the wiser. Because even with wounds that healed poorly or broken bones that set wrong, Dick is strong. He's all fortitude and resilience. He knows how to push himself - there's no line for him to toe there. So Dick pushes and pushes until he's run down, burned out and smiling despite the burden because he can bear it. And no one need know.
But of course grief isn't kind. It leaves him introspective and withdrawn. He can put on a show when needed, but at his most honest Dick is just...quiet. Still. A sharp contrast to how he's usually dynamic and bright and wild.
Unrelated tangent indented below whoops
Lately (possibly for a while lol) I've really taken to the missed opportunity idea of Dick seeing Jason as the wounded part of himself [Dick] that never stopped hurting. Because here came Jason, Robin, wearing Dick's mantle and dressed in Dick's colors - every bit the part of Dick that Dick lost when his life fell apart.
Dick recognizes who he was, who he could have been, in Jason and it's - disconcerting. He hates it. Which would lead to such beautiful conflict that Jason wouldn't understand because he hasn't done anything wrong and Dick can't find the words to explain that it's not Jason that Dick hates, it's Dick. That's why he's cold and distant; it's cruel to walk away, but running from himself is all Dick could think to do.
Jason would make it so simple, too. Because Jason sees the wonderful things of Dick that Dick is too disconnected to remember about himself. Robin brought people hope and Jaybin would do the same for Dick. Jason would talk about Robin being magic, but the truth is that Robin was never anything magical. Jason brought that magic to Robin all his own. He brought it to Dick.
And basically it'd be this story of Dick coming to love Jason and also himself and uh oh I've derailed myself back to our regularly scheduled reply
~Warning for romanticizing of 'darker' analogies below~
Anyway, Jason being intoxicating. This. A big thank you for this, because this is such a striking analogy. With how this relates to Dick though, since this reply has veered strong that direction LOL. But yes, Dick finding Jason intoxicating; Dick being intoxicated by Jason.
Jason lowering Dick's inhibitions. Jason taking the edge off (the mental fatigue, the physical strain). That heady feeling of warmth and calm that Jason affords Dick would be addicting in its own right. For someone so controlled, Jason would be freedom.
In this same vein, Dick being addicting and Jason 'having a past with shit like that,' and 'thinking it might be okay this one time,' and knowing the dangers of thinking like that but doing it anyway because he's been hooked from the start and the high of being with Dick - having his time, his company; being teased by him, adored by him, loved by him - Jason can't go back. He wants more and more.
~ End of romanticizing ? ~
Jason falls back on anger because it's dangerous to be anything softer. He makes himself difficult because at his core he's starved and that's something easily preyed on, taken advantage of (he would know). Even still, he's greedy for attention, affection; respect, acknowledgement. And it's not like Jason is stupid or naive; he's aware enough to know not to give himself away only...he does. Time and again because loathe as he is to admit it, this boy is desperate and hurting. So he gives everything of himself away; he has patience in spades because he knows what it is to be hurt - his tolerance for it puts him in a position to be hurt again and again and he doesn't necessarily justify it, but he puts up with it. He goes back for more, a glutton for punishment or maybe because it's all he's really known. Maybe it's all he feels he deserves.
And it's no different when Jason makes himself a space in Dick's life. Jason is attracted to troubled people; like attracts like.
Maybe Dick would be the same as everyone else Jason has met. There would be a sharp learning curve because Dick is used to giving and Jason takes whatever is offered. Where am I going with this we're veering fast into dark waters LOLOL. But uh. Yep.
Basically ybb appreciates protective!dark!Dick trope.
I've burned myself out on this reply; it's been an adventure hahaha. Not even joking btw, this ask just called out what feels like the next few pieces of my N&R series LOLOL.
Thank you again, anon~ always a pleasure to see a message from you. (人´∀｀)+ﾟ:｡ﾟ+
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can you do a hurt/comfort or angst/fluff with reader x jonathan byers? preferably the reader comforting jonathan after maybe something to do with his father or will going missing or something? maybe like the reader reassuring him its okay and that they will be with him through all of it?
sad gal hours with this one :( hope you enjoy babes! sorry this took so long, my last post took it out of me lol.
p.s. im low-key in a dark mood so this might come out a little bit darker than i meant it too and im so so sorry
p.s. i had a whole lot written, more than what was below and then tumblr glitched and didn't save my draft so now it's shorter than what i meant it to be.
warnings: no age limit bc no smut, mentions of death, lots of sadness. ive been told that i have an unfortunate gift for making people very strongly feel the emotions of my characters, so this is your official warning that you may slip tears if ive done my job correctly today. also i generally don't proof read or edit so sorry for any spelling mistakes.
'.. THICK AND THIN..' jonathan byers x reader
It was a dreary, cold day in Hawkins Indiana. A large group of people clad in all black stood staring around a large, deep hole in the nearly frozen ground, a casket directly above it.
The Byers family were burying their youngest, a boy named Will, whom you had come to love deeply in your time of knowing him. He was like a little brother to you as well, you being a constant in their home as of late.
You stood next to Jonathan, your hand squeezing his tightly. You could feel how tense he was, you knew he was upset by his father's presence, he hadn't cared one damn bit when Will had first gone missing, so why did he even bother showing up now? Knowing Lonnie, and you knew the stories of course, it was probably because he wanted something, or was trying to take some kind of advantage of the distraught, heart broken Joyce.
You couldn't help but look around at all of the people who had showed up, the ones that actually did care about the boy and his family. You noticed Mike Wheeler just in front of you, tears falling from his eyes. You reached a hand over, squeezing his shoulder. You felt bad for the boys, you loved Will's friends, and it was clear how bad his bunch of goofball buddies missed him.
When the service was over, and everyone who came had finished saying their 'im sorry's' and had shaken Lonnie's hand, you and Lonnie managed to get Joyce and Jonathan to the car.
You didn't care for Lonnie, but you were thankful he was at least helpful in this situation. You say in the back with Jonathan has he drove, your hand gripping his tightly. You knew that he wanted to break down, but he wouldn't let himself because his mother was already a crumbling broken mess big enough for the two of them, you had told Jonathan that you didn't mind shouldering the job of picking up everyone's pieces, but he wouldnt let you do it by yourself.
Once you were back at the Byers house you helped Jonathan inside, laying your coat on his bed before sitting next him after shutting his bedroom door. You could hear the bathroom door close down the hall, and the shower kick on.
Jonathan was stiff, and he had a hard look on his face. You could tell that he was trying very hard not to cry. Not knowing what else to do, you take his face in your hands, moving so you're sitting on his lap.
"Hey, hey...it's okay to cry, Jonathan.." You say, giving him what you hoped was a reassuring enough look, you felt his hands on your thighs, squeezing so lightly you couldn't even tell they were there. You moved your hands down to your shoulders, pushing his jacket off of them and down his arms. "Come on, let's get you into something more comfortable."
You stood, moving off of his lap before going to his dresser, you pulled out a Tshirt and some pajama pants for him and moved back to him, he was still sat there unmoving. You give a gentle kiss to the corner of his mouth, running your hands through his hair before unbuttoning his shirt and sliding it off of his shoulders as well.
It took you a few minutes but after a while you had him dressed in a green tshirt and plaid pajama pants, you straightened up after putting his pants on for him and immediately he engulfs you in a hug, his arms wrapping around you to the point where you feel as if you're suffocating, but you don't tell him to let go, you wrap your arms just as tightly around him, letting your head rest against his chest.
His mouth his pressed to the top of your hair, and you feel his body shake as he lets out a sob, and then another one, and before you know it, you're collapsed on his floor in a heap, holding on to him as tightly as you can, trying to comfort him as best as you can as he shakes and sobs and snots all over you.
It lasts for a while, you sit there happily until he calms down, moving his head into your lap as you go to play with his hair. You gave him a soft smile, looking at him almost sadly, you hated that he was going through this, that his mom was probably just as bad. You wished that you knew how to comfort both of them, that you could go back in time and fix this entire situation.
"Thank you..for everything." You hear him sniffle, his voice soft and quiet, laced with sadness. "You don't have to be here, Y/N, you don't have to care like you do, but you do and you have no idea how grateful i am every day that you're here.."
You smile, leaning down to kiss his head before tapping his cheek gently. "Hey, I made you a promise, remember?" You say, giving him a look. "I may have made it when I was drunk off my ass, but i still meant what I said...you're stuck with me, through Thick and Thin, remember?"
Jonathan shifts, looking up at you, his mouth opening as if he's about to say something, but he stops, both of you turn your heads towards his bedroom door as you hear shouting, and you both get to your feet immediately, the sweet moment ruined.
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Midnight Sad
A/N: Hi friends! Short time, no see ;) I’m back with another Floof Fic for the incomparable @muppenthings ! This is actually something I used to do with my mom if I had a nightmare or couldn’t sleep; she would bring some tea upstairs and sit with me for a little bit. (I still had to go to school in the morning, which kind of sucked, but oh well.)
Also, I have a confession to make. I love tea, but I secretly hate chamomile... I just have a lot of lavender teas now that I drink if I’m sad or sleepy. But chamomile is the one most people are familiar with, so that’s what I’ll use here, lol.
Ok, you guys know the drill! Let me know if I missed any tags, and I hope you enjoy your time!
Read on Ao3 Here!
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Soft rumbling of thunder surrounded the house, the patter of determined rain filling the rooms with light background noise. Roman had the lights dimmed in respect of the late hour and his rather odd roommates.
Virgil was standing in the corner, his wings pulled up over him like a cocoon, and he’d solidified into stone. As clear a sign as any that he was sleeping, and it would take a lot more than thunder to wake him. The muppets were all snuggled up in the run he’d built, cuddling in a dark hide away, presumably also asleep.
Roman just couldn’t fall asleep himself.
The thunder and rain should have put him right under. It was the perfect level of background noise for a deep and sound snooze. His little garden friends were all safe inside, taking refuge from their tunnels that were beginning to flood from three days of nonstop rain. Roman had a whole two days off of work with nothing to do except relax.
He just couldn't sleep.
Roman sat on the couch, setting a warm cup of tea on the table and staring into nothing. Lavender and chamomile for resting. And yet here he was, wide awake as the day.
Roman spent the time wondering about his miniature roommates; the tiny creatures came and went as they pleased, and seemed largely unbothered by his presence. They even, in their own way, helped him tend the garden itself.
The four were a daily presence now; the one he called Goldie especially. They spent a good ten minutes every morning on his windowsill, brushing their long tufts of fur clean. When Roman first met them, he could tell the little muppet had been struggling. He’d watched from a distance as the other three would pause what they were doing throughout the day to free their long-furred friend from burrs and leaves; and if Roman woke up early enough, he would find the three carefully picking at Goldie’s fur, attempting to groom out knots that had formed in the night.
Initially, Roman had only bought one little brush on a whim, something recommended for particularly fluffy cats, and propped it up against the wall while setting out a few Saturday treats for the muppets. Goldie had gone crazy, brushing up against the firm bristles and purring like a toy motorboat. When Roman had tried to walk away, thus letting the brush fall from its position, the little thing had growled. He’d stood at the window for an hour, repositioning the brush occasionally for the miniature diva.
He’d bought more brushes the next day, and built a self-brushing structure under the muppet’s careful guidance.
The little purple one, Stormy, was also one to visit as often as possible; usually seeking out treats or ways to fight with Virgil. How he’d managed to find Roman’s wallet and then open it and take out money with his miniscule little paws, Roman would never know. But he’d certainly learned not to leave important things sitting around.
Stormy had quite a sweet tooth, and a penchant for making a mess. Roman found himself constantly trying to protect his tea from the little menace, and was waiting for the day he’d have to take down the butterfly feeders because the fluff-ball had figured out what was inside.
There were two blue muppets, one a darker blue and one lighter. The darker blue he’d nicknamed Sherlock, because the little guy had a tendency to stick his nose in anything that piqued his curiosity. After the phone incident, Roman had taken to getting whatever puzzle toys he could find, trying to keep the little guy occupied. Sherlock clearly very much wanted the cellphone back, but Roman wasn’t about to allow that after the muppet had called his boss, and he definitely couldn’t afford to give the bug one of his own.
The puzzle toys seemed to be working for now; a variety of both pet and baby toys were hidden away in the artist’s closet, and he would supply a new one when Sherlock got bored with the one he’d had.
Thankfully, the curious ball of fluff didn’t seem to mind cycling through toys, as long as the puzzle was refreshed. And Virgil occasionally helped; setting out things for the muppet to find throughout the yard, leaving clues pointing towards new toys and treasures. Although Roman still needed to talk to the gargoyle about maybe not hiding things on the roof.
The falling treat ball had really hurt when it smacked into his skull.
It was clear, whatever they were, that all four of the muppets were excellent climbers; constantly crawling up the brickwork of the house, wandering along tree branches and occasionally the edge of the fence. If they put their mind to it, they could probably scale the smooth walls inside the house.
Roman was pulled from his thoughts by soft chirping, and he turned to find the littlest of the muppets, the light blue one he’d been calling Heart based on one of his markings. Heart had climbed the coffee table and was now huddled up in a ball and watching him. This muppet was usually cheery and friendly; the one most likely to wander close to Roman when he worked in the garden, playing with his tiny toy watering can or chasing a feather wand; but tonight, in the dimly lit living room, he almost looked scared.
The little thing had his hackles raised like a cat’s, the pale blue fluff down his back puffed up. In the dark, he looked more like Stormy than himself. His eyes were glossier than usual, as well, and his ears pulled down in submission, instead of backwards in aggression.
Well, technically Roman was guessing at a lot of it. He’d learned a lot of their expressions and their body language, but there was still a bit of a learning curve involved.
Roman wondered then, what must he look like in the low light, combined by the flashing and noise of the storm. He carefully set down his teacup, and laid his hand palm up, halfway between them, trying to keep slow for the little guy.
“Hey, muppet.” he greeted softly, “It’s just me. See?” He wiggled his fingers a little as Heart came closer; the little creature immediately nuzzled against his hand and purred once close enough. Roman noticed, though, that the sound was off; there were interruptions like hiccups, and his ears were still pulled down.
Roman carefully flipped his hand over, and Heart crawled right into the little tunnel shape he created. Roman could feel tiny heartbeats and a slight shivering. He ran his thumb over the creature’s head, which caused Heart to lean into the touch.
“What’s wrong, little buddy?” Roman asked softly, continuing to pet his tiny friend. “Is it the storm?”
Heart stopped for a minute to look up and tilt his head in question, before shaking it.
No. Not the thunder then.
Roman sighed, giving the muppet a slightly rueful smile as he went back to stroking Heart’s ears.
“Just sad, then? Can’t sleep?” he asked.
Heart squeaked sadly, and the hiccup noise returned; probably their form of crying. They sat like that for a while, with muppet resolutely staying in the curl of his hand, and Roman carefully stroking the unmoving little fluffball.
After a while, he looked down at his tea and sighed again.
“Yeah. Me too.” he said softly. “Sometimes I guess, you’re just sad.” He looked back to Heart, who churred in response and bumped his little head against the underside of Roman’s fingers. It was sweet; thinking that this little creature from the garden was sad and still wanted to comfort him too. He smiled softly, and carefully removed his hand, much to Heart’s disappointment.
“Sorry, one second. Let me get something.” he said softly, and the creature seemed to understand. Heart curled up next to the loop of the warm teacup to watch as Roman moved to the kitchen.
He’d found these neat little teacups at the store a few weeks ago; shallow Asian-style dishes that had painted koi fish in them. It was low and shallow enough that Roman had thought it would work for Stormy’s treat on Saturdays, and had worked like a charm for the grumpy (and messy) little nugget.
His tea was cooled enough, so he set the dish next to Heart and very carefully poured some from his own cup. He dribbled a little on the table, oh well, and watched as the muppet tilted his head questioningly.
“It’s chamomile and lavender. It’s supposed to help you sleep. But it’s also just nice.” he answered softly. Heart sniffed the liquid before licking up a few drops, watching again as Roman took a sip of his own tea. “My mom used to do this when me and Remus were kids.” he said, spoken more into the distance than actually directed to Heart, but the muppet knew what he meant. Probably…
“She called it the Midnight Sad. You needed something warm and to have some good company with you to drive them away. So she made something warm; usually tea, although every once in a while we got hot chocolate. And we just kind of sat together.” he looked down at Heart, who was now watching him much more intently. He smiled and ran his fingertips over the creature again; this time, when he nudged his face into Roman’s hand, there were no hiccups.
“It’s a lot easier to be sad when you're alone, isn’t it?” he asked, and Heart made a low, almost grumbly chirr, seeming to sniffle a little. The little creature took another taste of his own tea, but his eyes watched Roman over the dish as much as possible.
“It’s ok,” Roman whispered, “we’ll be ok.” Heart offered him a trill at that, and Roman decided to just watch him for a while. He set his tea aside once again, and set his chin on his arms.
He hadn’t realized he’d begun to drift off until something soft nosed at his jaw, and he tilted a little to the side to see Heart nuzzling his tiny face into Roman’s cheek, purring lowly. Roman couldn’t help it, he broke into a greater smile than before. When the little guy moved back, at the gardener’s own movement, he just smiled, offering a soft, “Thanks” to the creature.
In the morning, his back would hurt like actual hell from sleeping seated on the floor and leaning on the coffee table. Remus, coming to try and convince his twin to go to some weird art exhibition his friend was putting on, would take at least three up close pictures of Roman drooling on said table, which would act as blackmail for weeks. The other muppets, especially Stormy, would kick up a very noisy fuss that their fourth wasn’t tucked safely in their den. (And then, Stormy would kick up even more of a fuss that Heart had gotten tea and he hadn’t, and Roman would find him swimming in the human-sized cup of now very cold tea with his little butt up in the air like a fluffy purple heathen!)
But that could all be handled later. They would both be fine.
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This has a Part Two now!
#warcats writes#muppen floof au#floof au#sanders sides au#ts Roman#ts Patton#sanders sides fanfic#i love these little fluffballs#Theyre very relaxing to write#fluff#fluff without plot#tw thunderstorms
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synth this is stranger anon! I just finished reading you stopped by my house and totally get crazy about it... first i think george should be seeking for helps he's crying and screaming in max's house but then max is getting crazy for him too. theyare so abnormal to each other
at the same time max is just pure loving like?? innocently thinking they had something after spent a week doing george. oh. luckily lando and dan are so nice. damn why they didn't fuck again max must hurt so bad (wondering that as a george fan?). i think the whole thing is george's fault and wanna see how he will handle this between his gf and max. pls tell me it'll be a happy ending!>?!
HEELLO AGAIN ANON I HOPE YOU'RE WELL!!!!!!! I KNOW THIS IS MESSED UP THIS IS HOW I FOUND OUT ALL MY FICS ARE STILL PUBLIC ADSKJHSFDKJFDHJJHJ NOOOOO. i thought i did the privating correctly but i fucked up LOL
BUT IM GLAD YOU LIKE IT SO MUCH <3 AND I APPRECIATE YOU READING IT HAHA
really putting them both thru it all and for what? u know fun fact it was going to end at chapter one with GEORGE JUST WALKING AWAY LOL but a lot of people were like "BRO U CANT LEAVE IT THERE" which is....fair
spoilers under read more
i think theyre both looking to preserve themselves in a way. i think its all good then they fuck and its like. okay so max is looking to get with someone (in my mind its also an ex, but maybe even danny) and uses george as a crutch despite their little interaction. then george thinks too impulsively and also uses max as a temporary solution. then HE GETS WITH THE GIRLFRIEND AGAIN......then he gets scared and doesn't tell max until its too late. so now he's gotta apologize
(im kind of thinking of imola 2021 where george took full responsibility for the incident w valtteri after reflecting for a bit! he made a bad judgement but fixed it immediately!)
then max resents george (because he got attached) but refuses to talk about it with george. george is willing to take accountability but max knows it'll hurt george even more if he doesn't even engage with that idea. smh my head . the pettiness is unreal. he's literally willing to kill them both if it means he "wins"; that george can never feel comfort in his own relationship again, that george is berated for what max thinks is the wrong decision, and that george will stay with max (even if in a way that is so hateful). love makes people crazy.
danny + lando trying to mediate makes me giggle. lando is really like "im sure the week with george will be fine" then comes back to fire and hell on earth. but yeah #dandobesties4eva
ANYWAYS stranger anon it will be happy dont worry i wont say how it resolves but....everything is good in da end ^_^ i drew a picture for it and everything before deleting it haha!! thank you again stranger anon!!! i really do appreciate when people comment and send asks about my stuff <3
#asks#stranger anon tag#russtappen#sorry if it was just rambling its hard to explain their dynamic in my mind#twin size mattress universe
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hiii moon anon here i have a lot to say but first off: i've been analyzing the title song settle down and i've been listening to it over and over again and is the story gonna parallel the lyrics itself?? "and i don't seem to be having any effect now" like thats… oooh the angst is gonna be delicious.
i hope you take this as a compliment when i say this but the whole fic takes me BACK to 2013-2015 YOU KNOW THAT ERA HAHAHA the tropes, the ambiance, the CHARACTERS!!
side question: is mark or jisung gonna play bigger roles? or did they just act as plot devices for reader and haechans development. would not mind either way but given the concept of the story i can totally imagine reader coming back and just wreaking havoc on the band. sorry i love mess lol.
maybe i'm delusional or maybe its the fact that it's haechan but it makes me more understanding of the character?? i trust you when you say that there's more to rockstar hc than meets the eye, and especially from his perspective it's pretty realistic that he has his guard up when it comes to really connecting with people, and we see his walls slowly crumbling down by the end too. and even in the earlier parts of the story i didn't expect him to have his sweet moments?? i honestly expected him to be worse but god him calling her PRINCESS has me on my knees
i will defend reader's choices with my life because i'd do the same, i'd probably still go to the concert by the end she's so much stronger than me helppp (tho DISCLAIMER i would not be doing this for just any man its bc its haechan why i am easily swayed by the little things,,, just like reader), but i liked how she decided to take a step back this time, especially when at that point haechan is basically offering her what she has always wanted, but knowing his past actions it won't be truly easy to hang onto every word said. this is the culmination of every mixed signals and rejection that haechan gave her, and the build up to it is veryyy well done.
also im still reeling from reading the fic i felt sooo many emotions and dk how to fully articulate it yet,, maybe i'll come back when i do. i even made a playlist of my own w songs that reminded me of the fic to help me move on (at least until pt 2 gets posted, cant wait tho!!)
MOON ANON.... when i say my jaw dropped.... my heart rate actually spiked i can't believe you wrote such a detailed review and theorized this makes me so happy especially since you basically inspired me with this idea !!!! giving you a huge hug rn 🫂🤍
omg ngl this fic encouraging people to listen to settle down makes me so happy because it's one of my favorite songs 😭 it makes me feel so honoured to know that you are analysing the lyrics and anticipating the plot like that really means so much to me !!! i definitely picked it because it had themes i wanted to explore throughout the song...but the lines kind of contain both hyucks and readers pov hehe so i'm excited to explore that in part 2
i take that as a DEFINITE COMPLIMENT i was so invested in that era it was so formative for me... hence a lot of the song choice in my playlist too... i don't know if i genuinely nailed the idea of rockstar in rockstar haechan (because truly...what is a rockstar...) but i did want to give it that 2013 band on tumblr vibe lmfao so i'm so glad you brought that up !!!!
AAAA the band still definitely continues to play a role... they have stuff to work out but i've thought about their characters a lot and i definitely want to show more of their opinions on haechan and reader (it wouldn't be a rockstar au without that). someone else i want to add in is jaemin because ngl reader needs someone purely on her side
i hope i'm not promising too much with haechan HAHA i'm not someone who likes to give too much backstory to characters so i'm just putting it out there: i'm not going to explain that he's this way becaue he was cheated on before or he had family problems etc. i just want it to be genuine layers of his character and personality that's put to the test (love making it hard for myself LOL)
i'm so relieved to know you still managed to feel for his character and appreciate the softer sides of him and a bit of his struggle... i was worried i promised a super terrible character with the preview and people would be disappointed he ended up being so gentle with reader 😅
and her standing him up at the end!!! i'm glad you thought it was justified but at the same time recognise she probably was going to...it really could go both ways and idk if i'm still going through with my original plot arc !!! we will see :)
this was already so articulate omg once i appreciate it sooo so so so much that you shared such a detailed review with me, it literally blows my mind and i will reread your ask again and again !!!! omg and if u want please share your playlist with me too!!! i want to see what songs there are that give him vibes ~~
thank you sm again...you are too nice to me ily!!!!
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the chess master with the board and the one radical element who refuses to play by the rules is such an interesting concept. personally I don’t mind the other aspect or introduction of that element of a relationship because I do think there is a potential for it to be interesting in the same way I find the messed up way Gen and Irene from TQOA series interesting (sorry I don’t know if you know that series) but anyway enough of that, but like im thinking about the one comic where Barbara keeps getting pushed by Selina and tells her they aren’t so different which is interesting because I see Jason as this Catwoman type or her being like the blueprint. Idk I feel these two people are really calculated and it would have been interesting if they had met when they were peak Oracle and Red Hood (despite like me despising how some of that RH lore came to be) if it had been made into some kind of antagonistic calculated game. They just had so many qualities that really narratively have that push and pull and personally I hate that it has been watered down to like this familiar thing because there was potential meat there before. Like it isn’t so much that they would bond over joker trauma in that they came to it do differently that maybe their would be some complex feeling to the way the other handled it that would range from anger to maybe shame or resentment that would really push the other in uncomfortable places. Wounds that’s don’t get filled. Narratives that haunt if things are left to linger and continue. And honestly narratives that also potentially could heal if you ever think about like a situation where the BoP offers a position to Jason. Idk idk idk….
i have read the queen's thief, it's one of my favorite series ever! i'm not personally inclined towards barbara and jason as a romantic thing bc i do think it differs from gen and irene in the sense that barbara and jason know each other from the outset and if we go by old canon she's a good decade or so older than him when she gets to know him as a teenager. but i do like the idea of them having the charged back and forth gen and irene do that's colored by their contrasting experiences due to age. there's a lot that irene's seen in her lifetime that renders her incredibly cynical and sometimes so little gen has seen that it renders him brash and bold in comparison. and while that doesn't track exactly fact to fact for barbara and jason i'm sure there's still elements there you can evoke between them like you mentioned! like not to turn this comparison on its head but i love that a big part of gen and irene's relationship is him helping irene recognize she's hardened herself over the years to protect herself and that it's increasingly compromised her own humanity - that would be so cool to see barbara try to get jason to recognize! but maybe jason could push back against her and the clocktower defenses too and try to bring her out of her comfort zone. there's so much you can do with them pushing each other's buttons lol i really want a story where they just drive each other crazy and are a bit resentful and a bit hopeful and it's messy and complex. it'd make for the perfect unorthodox cross generational friendship / allyship
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thank you so much for opening up your asks and being so kind and empathetic to people grieving and having a hard. it has been so helpful for me seeing your mb posts. even the non mb posts, they add some lightness and made me look into yellowjackets (idk if i'll watch though lol).
thank you for wading thru twt mess to post updates, it must've be hard. i've been avoiding twt, scared to see all the clickbait, cruel posts and videos, mistranslations of messages/using papago, invasive posts and pics,etc. seeing the memorial posts from the members and friends showed how much love there is for mb and gave me some relief. i was so worried about them. i lost a parent couple yrs ago to illness so idk if its bad or self centered but i was reminded of that entire time and was heartbroken they were going through something similar...the grief and guilt was so hard then and still is for me yrs later. even from some of the messages, some guilt is understandably there. i just hope all his family, the members, friends feel especially loved and supported as they grieve however long and whatever way it looks like. same for us fans.
gosh this was so long sorry. so thank you so much really. you're sweet person on top of being a great content creator. you're one of the tumblr accts that helped me fall for astro 1-2 yrs ago. sending lots of love and hope you're continuing to take care of yourself well ❤
hi! don’t apologise, you can talk to me always even if it’s very long! firstly i am so sorry for your loss and the grief this situation must’ve brought back up. i know from experience that it’s an unavoidable thing and it’s not self-centred at all, it’s natural, it’s an extremely heartbreaking situation and it’s bound to bring up some other feelings. secondly thank you for worrying about me :( to be honest a few of them I initially scan over quickly to make sure that they’re translated well (not using an ai or google translate or anything) and read them later because it’s quite taxing to see so much about it all the time, but im always glad and relieved to see updates about the people in mb’s life because I’ve been worried about them a lot. so it’s ok!!! i will keep posting updates as i see them and i hope that they continue to bring relief to people on tumblr as well🩵
honestly being one of the people to help you get into astro is one of the biggest compliments i can ever receive, thank you so so so much for that and im glad that you love them. it’s what they deserve and more, and if I was a part of opening people’s hearts to them, that’s really all i can ask for as a fan and a content creator especially. thank you🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵 i love you lots and I hope you’re taking care of yourself also
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hay, this is more me looking for advice, but how do i stop lying to my followers about being proship? there was one point where i drew fontcest (undretale), and i got an anti who harassed me in ask, and sent me a graphic description of their brother killing their hamster. ever since i've been very weary of saying anything, or confirming i ship something cuz i don't want to read something like that again. that, and in general, i don't ship things too hard/go all in with it, at least 1/?
2/? i don't think i do. granted, i draw a bunch of art and post it, but for me that's just general hyperfixation. i'm also ace, and while yes, most ships are romantic or sexual, mine tend to be platonic, or suggestive. and are not as clear cut as to if i ship the characters or not, because even for me, it's up in the air, and i don't know, i'm not good with knowing how i feel about things, i just express myself through art and hope it says all it needs to. i've come up with a sorta tagging
3/4 tagging system, with tags for platonic ships, joke ships, etc, but even then sometimes how i view the relationship changes. like right now, i'm drawing a child and adult character together, most of the time the dynamic i portray is paternal, but other times i want to make it romantic, either as a cope for my own truama, or just because it's been my brain rot for weeks and i want it out of my head to get back to the "clean stuff" and just not post for a while. idk, maybe this is
4/? is all overly complicated, and i've made a mess for myself, but i feel like at this point i've tricked ppl into following or liking my work. because ppl do like my work, and then they send ask like "your art's now tainted for me", but i've been this way since 2016, i've just been scared of getting disturbing irl hamster gore stories again. or i've been told "fuck you for normalizing this", "don't hc this character as a murder pedo", "this feels like grooming", "you know your audience"
5/5 like i don't, idk how old anyone is who follows me, idk if there's children looking at my content. and i can't just make a poll, or check the thousands of followers i have to see if they have their age in their bio, i can't fucking ask for an id before following, i just. idk, this was very long and ranty, i'm sorry, i just don't want to remake my blog again, maybe i'm just dumb and anxious, i don't know. srry this was long, hope you're doin ok (^.^)v
Hello, I delayed answering this for a while since, well, i'm definitely not usually the person people go to for advice so im not used to it lol ❤ /nm
Buuut i mean... I can see why youre upset. I dont think you should have to come out and say you're proship. Being an anti shouldn't be seen as the default. You should also be able to make whatever kind of content you want as long as you tag it properly. If your fanbase is making you feel like you can't, then that fanbase isn't your demographic.
There are actually a lot of decent people out here who are pro ship, and if you choose to be openly pro ship, yes you will get some hate mail, death threats, suibait etc and lose followers, but you will also gain a lot of fans who want to see your interesting takes on different interpersonal dynamics. (Also, the former group weren't really your fans in the first place if they'll be so godawful to you over some pixels on a screen)
And yes it is impossible to police thousands of followers and that quite literally is not supposed to be up to you. Minors on the internet are supposed to be monitored by their guardians. If you put a disclaimer/tag for your content and some dumbass clicks it anyway and doesn't like what they see, that's their fault not yours.
I've also noticed that the majority of people who are pro ship are prone to actually filtering content they don't like, while antis seem entitled and want the creator to do it for them. Its just a better fanbase experience all around in my experience.
As someone who helps run multiple pro ship accs, i understand the visibility can be scary. But I promise at the end of the day you'll feel a lot better for it. Hope this is at least semi-helpful/reassuring idk ❤
#long post#lovely anon ❤#advice from a dragmonster#tw animal death#tw harrassment#tw grooming mention#not an affirmation
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Sky was actually pretty good!
I think it does a lot to accelerate the plot, though the pacing suffers a little bit with all the changing PoVs. I’m really not certain how much time has passed but apparently it’s been long enough for new apprentices like Mistpaw and Graypaw to be considered warrior-name-ready? Even though there’s only been like one full moon Gathering that I’m recalling?
The catmint journey had a fun little bit in it and didn’t overstay, and the twist that RiverClan had catmint all along was great, though it’s a bit murky how Tigerstar knew about it before Fidgetflake could even say anything.
The characters had a good time, too!
Sunbeam’s chapters continued being good. Her relationship with Berryheart twisting and complicating hits close to home for (I’m sure) just about everyone reading this - it could’ve been done a bit better, but what we have is still great. Every time she confronted her mother I was tense and nervous and I just want her to have a break lol. Her resolution about Lightleap and Blazefire was kind of nice, too. It felt natural that she just... stopped caring.
Nightheart grew on me. It seems to be the popular thing lately to take his stuff out of context (and believe me, its still kinda silly in context) but looking at him through the lens of a new adult looking to prove himself in a society that's both failing him and itself is... better. It makes it better. Thankfully his Clan stops pestering him about his name about immediately after his infamous first chapter here.
Frostpaw’s raw trauma, grief, and depression over her mother’s death was really sad, and her relationship with Splashtail is cute; but I don’t know if I want it to go the way of romance just yet, especially when I can see Splashtail being part of the larger conspiracy and really hurting her later on. Frostpaw also comes to the conclusion that she has no connection with StarClan - a theory that many of us had - but I’m also not sure if that’s where she’s heading, as I can see them pulling it back even in her last bits of this book.
Frostpaw also deserves a break. Y’know what, they all do.
NightSun is a contentious thing but right now I’m... all right with it. It’s barebones but there’s some effort put into making it not come entirely out of nowhere? It still kind of does, but not in the BristleRoot way. These two don’t confess their undying love, they’re just kinda flirting with the idea... and for once, both of them think about each other. So I’ll take it. For now. If they use the rest of the series to develop the relationship instead of ignore it, it could be really good, even if it ends with them just being friends.
Bramblestar needs to die. I’m so sick of him. He literally uses Nightheart to manufacture a situation in which he can have an excuse to yell at Squirrelflight. It’s just. So messed up. Kill him. Immediately. He’s beyond indefensible. This arc needs to end with him being deposed or a corpse.
Tigerstar is... odd. He seems to be the cat the authors use to stir the pot lately and here it’s full force - but it’s weird. They are saying both that Tigerstar is upset at RiverClan for not helping Rowankit and not, at the same time? His motivations are extremely confusing even beyond cats like Berryheart trying to muddy things, and while he does start helping RiverClan after their battle, he also doesn’t back off when they tell him to. It’s not complexity it’s just confusion.
I want them to explain this more concretely, especially after Berryheart stating that half the Clan wouldn’t follow through with helping RiverClan. I’m hoping Shadow will provide answers.
Side note - no idea why this book was called Sky. SkyClan had only a small involvement, it didn’t focus on them in any important, overarching way. Unless they called it Sky because it’s technically got a journey in it, and SkyClan takes a lot of journeys? lmao
All in all I did enjoy this book. My main gripes are the pacing, really. It’s so, so hard to get a grasp on how much time is passing when we’re jumping so much. There is one thing I am scared of - every arc has a tendency to burn itself out after book three or four, and I can really see this arc doing that, too. Even if the larger plot ends around book four, the next two books could still be very packed as they cover loose ends.
I’m just worried they won’t be.
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