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outerspacebisexual · 2 years

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What Remains in the Wake - Eddie Munson

Part Two of Until the Chaos is Through

Part One - Until the Chaos is Through

Part Three - Blessed Silence After This Mayhem

Part Four - Heinous Regret With No Salvation

Summary: You're left reeling after your boyfriend Eddie's infidelity. It doesn't feel like you'll ever move on, and a tiny part of you wants to go back to him.

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader

Word count: 5.2k

Warnings: angst, swearing, implied/referenced cheating, again maybe steve x reader if you squint, you have really great friends in this i stg

a/n: HOLY SHIT guys i seriously didn't expect all the love on until the chaos is through! i LOVE reading your thoughts about it. genuinely so many made me laugh so much.

i really hope that you enjoy part two. i got so many requests to be tagged that i couldn't get through them all, so i am sorry about that!

thank you all so much for the support! <3

Masterlist

Your days wasted away into the night after the Halloween party.

You teetered on a razor’s edge between wanting to run straight back to Eddie and wanting to never see him again.

Like today, when laying alone in your room only bought thoughts of missing him. When your covers still smelt like him, and the photos of the two of you stared blankly from their spots on your dresser and the walls and the bedside table, their wide smiles and bright eyes mocking you.

Everywhere you looked, there was Eddie, and you couldn’t bring yourself to leave this little self-proclaimed bubble of ignorance.

Because if you didn’t think about it, it wasn’t real. Eddie was simply on his way over to hang out and spend the night like he used to, and everything was fine.

The night of the party, your friends had stayed with you until mid-morning. They took turns in comforting you as you spent hours sobbing on the couch, crying out against the unfairness of it all. About how stuff like this didn’t happen to people like you.

It didn’t happen to couples who loved each other.

Because you loved him.

And Eddie loved you.

But that affirmation you had been repeating to yourself for weeks held no weight now. It had been your lifeline in all those moments of doubt and insecurity, the one thing that you told yourself over and over and over, assuring you that you were wrong.

And yet, you had been right, despite all the lies you pretended were the truth.

You heard Steve’s car pull into your driveway.

You didn’t get up to let him in. He and the other’s had borrowed your spare key, taking turns in checking in on you after your refusal to leave your house for the third day in a row.

You stayed still, curled up beneath the covers, eyes closed as Steve opened your bedroom door.

“Hey,” he murmured, coming to sit on the edge of your bed.

You didn’t reply, just barely peeking your eyes open, but he didn’t look dejected, he just gave you a tight-lipped smile—one that reeked of pity.

Yesterday, it had been Nancy who came by. She had sat right where Steve was, that same sympathetic look on her face. You hadn’t wanted to talk then either.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, just loud enough for you to hear.

The tears burned the back of your eyes. “I’m fine,” you whispered, but your lip trembled, and Steve was quick to brush his hand over the side of your head.

“You don’t need to lie to me,” he told you, the same softness to his voice as before, as if he, too, was trying to protect the quiet bubble just as much as you were. That was what you told yourself, even though you knew it wasn’t true. “Talk to me.”

Your throat ached as you swallowed back a sob. You’d cried enough these past few days. “I—I don’t know what to do.”

His hand brushed over your head again. “About what?”

“About the love I have for him. I love him, Steve.” Just saying those words out loud had you weeping. “I love him so much and it still wasn’t enough.”

Steve’s hand rested on your shoulder, and he squeezed it just tight enough to make you look up at him. “Y/N, it would have been enough for anyone else. I don’t know why he did what he did, but I do know that it wasn’t because of you.”

“But if I—”

“No,” he cut you off, tone firm—firmer than anyone had been in days. “No. This isn’t on you. This is on him.”

The words should have comforted you. He meant them to be comforting, but they didn’t help. They only caused you to think about Eddie.

And it made you think of the fact that he hadn’t contacted you at all.

He hadn’t tried to call. He hadn’t come over. He hadn’t made any effort to try and talk to you.

Maybe you don’t mean enough to him, that tiny voice whispered. Maybe you weren’t enough for him to even bother to apologise. Maybe he doesn’t want to apologise.

You clamped your eyes shut, trying to block out the awful words that just kept tumbling and turning through your mind.

Steve removed his hand from your shoulder, and you instantly missed the comfort of it.

When you opened your eyes, they fell to him—to his hands—and you frowned.

“What is that?” you asked.

“What?”

You removed your arm from the warmth of your covers to take his hand in yours.

His knuckles were bruised, the middle two split, but they had healed enough to not need to be covered.

Steve tried to pull his hand away, but you held fast. “Steve?”

“I—uh,” He swallowed and looked to the wall, avoiding your eyes. “It’s from the party.”

Your brows furrowed. “You got into a fight?” You had been so focused on yourself that you hadn’t even realised he had been hurt at all, not at the party or over the past few days.

He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth, eyes not leaving your patterned wallpaper. “Sort of.”

You studied his side profile, the way his eyes darted around, his hesitancy to answer your questions.

Steve had been with Jonathan and Nancy most of the night at the party, if you remembered correctly. From the couch at the Roland’s, you had been able to see most of the first floor and you couldn’t recall him getting into a fight. If you had, you would have at least tried to stop him. That man did not need any more knocks to the head. It must have happened upstairs—

It hit you, and you shrunk back.

“Oh,” you said, and this time when he attempted to pull his hand away, you let him.

“I—yeah. Jonathan and I, we—” He cleared his throat, standing. “I should probably go. Do you need anything?”

Jonathan had been at the top of the stairs, but Steve…Steve hadn’t come out until after. Judging by his knuckles, now you knew why. You wondered if Jonathan had even tried to stop him.

You stared at him for a long moment before shaking your head. He rushed out a hurried good-bye, and then your door was pulled shut with barely more than a click.

School was the absolute last place you wanted to be.

The incident wasn’t common knowledge amongst your peers, but you knew that it was only a matter of time before they found out. Already, hushed whispers trailed you; some sympathetic, some not.

It was also the first time in over two years that you didn’t have Eddie by your side as you walked through the front doors. Even before you got together, you had been friends, and his presence right beside you had become a staple in your life that you never thought you’d lose.

But you had.

The worst part was lunch.

As you grabbed your tray, your eyes immediately went to the Hellfire table out of habit, and you stopped short when you realised that you couldn’t sit there anymore.

Eddie wasn’t there in his pride of place at the head of the table, thankfully, but Jeff’s eyes found you, confused as to why you weren’t coming over.

It became obvious that the rest of The Hellfire Club didn’t know.

As you stood there, you wondered if they had known about Eddie and Chrissy. Had they been aware of Eddie’s deals with her? Had you sat across from them every day being the only one in the dark? They were Eddie’s friends first; they didn’t owe you any loyalty. That belonged to their infallible Dungeon Master. Had they humoured you while Eddie snuck out to the—

An arm slipped through yours. “I hear that the band freaks and the school newspaper weirdos have way more fun than D&D nerds,” Robin whispered into your ear as she guided you towards a table at the back of the cafeteria.

You had never been more grateful.

She saw the beholden look on your face and shook her head. “Don’t,” she said softly, and then launched into a spiel about how she had a pop quiz this morning that she most definitely flopped.

Nancy was happy to see you, eyes lighting up as she moved her bag off the table to make a place for you opposite her. Robin dropped into the seat beside you. “Hello, I didn’t expect to see you today.”

You sent Nancy a shy smile. “Yeah,” you said, picking up your fork, “I was surprised, too.”

You had been thinking about skipping school today, and the rest of the week if you were honest, but you knew that it wasn’t going to make a difference about how you were feeling. Your bubble was nothing more than a delusion that you allowed yourself to believe in anyway.

“Well, either way, it’s good to see you here.”

Robin was quick to say, “And to have you sitting with us now. You have no idea the fun we have here.”

You raised a brow. “Oh really?”

“You bet,” she told you, taking a rather large bite out of her sandwich. “Us two? We’re living it up while you losers sit around whining about whatever it is you whine about all day.”

“You don’t have to sell it to me, Rob. I believe you.”

Around a mouthful of food, she said, “Look! You’re already laughing. Proof!”

True to her word, you were grinning wider than you had in nearly a week. Being by yourself for so long had only allowed you to stew in your own self-pity. Being here, with your friends who were trying so hard to help you?

That was worth braving the school corridors for.

Robin placed a hand on your arm. “Oh, did you hear about Lucas’s basketball game? He wasn’t benched—” She immediately cut herself off as her eyes flew to something—or someone—behind you.

You tensed, already not liking the way her eyes bulged as she beheld who stood there.

“Um, Y/N? Can I please talk to you?” Chrissy’s voice was quiet, so much so that you almost missed it as you turned to look at her.

She fiddled with the sleeves of her varsity cheer jacket, the one she always wore, the one you knew that she wore when she would see Eddie.

“W-What?” you managed.

She swallowed, eyes darting around at the stares that came with being the Queen of Hawkins High. “I—I would like to talk to you, please.” She pulled the sleeve of her jacket particularly hard, and it displaced the neckline of her shirt just enough to reveal a tiny patch of discoloured skin on her collarbone.

Your throat suddenly felt like it was closing up.

You couldn’t pull your eyes from that spot of skin. Had it been Eddie? Or had it been Jason? Had Jason known that his girlfriend slept with the freak he hated so much? You had never really liked Jason Carver, but right now, in this exact moment, there was no one else on earth who you understood more.

Both thoughts had bile rising as you tried to calm your racing heart. “I don’t want to talk to you, Chrissy.”

She looked down at you, a dumbstruck look on her face. “Why?”

Your jaw dropped open, and you knew that Robin and Nancy shared the same look. “Why—Why do I not want to talk to you?” you uttered. “Because you slept with my boyfriend, Chrissy.”

Her eyes widened, and she quickly glanced around at the surrounding tables.

As she did, that feeling that you had become so accustomed to whenever you saw her slowly morphed into disbelief.

Even now, she was worried about people finding out that she was the one who fucked the freak. Even as she stood beside the person who she had stolen him from, who she had a hand in betraying.

“Are you serious?”

“Please,” she murmured, “Can we speak outside?”

“I’m not going anywhere,” you told her, voice shaking.

“But—”

You dug your fingers into the side of the table.

You had no idea where all of this anger was coming from. For days, you hadn’t been able to feel anything except a swirling pool of heartbreak and numbness. And now, this rush of hostility coursed through you faster than you could stop it.

“—Chrissy,” Nancy interrupted. “You should go.”

Robin’s hand coming to rest on your forearm was the only thing keeping your grounded.

Chrissy eyed the growing number of stares that were on her. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, and your chair was sliding back in an instant as you stood.

She shrank back at the ferocity in your eyes, mouth dropping open as you leaned forward. “I don’t want your apologies,” you spat. “I want you to fuck off.” Robin and Nancy were standing, too, Robin’s hand a hairsbreadth from your arm as if to grab you at a moment’s notice.

Chrissy took a single step back. Then another. Her eyes didn’t leave you as she raced away from your table.

You stared after her, blood thrumming in your ears and your heart pounding in your chest.

But as soon as the adrenaline rush arrived, it deserted you, and that rage became humiliation as you noted all the eyes on you.

You slumped back into your seat.

Nancy sat wide-eyed across from you. “Are…Are you OK?” she asked, somewhere between shocked and…impressed?

“I honestly don’t know,” you muttered. “I think I’m going to be sick.”

Your face burned, and you shook your head. At what, you didn’t know. Maybe at your actions. Maybe at Chrissy’s fucking ignorance.

“Well,” Robin said, brows raised as she looked between you and Nancy. “I think we can safely say our table hasn’t seen this much action in years.”

You covered your face with your hands. “I thought you said you had fun here?”

“I’m a liar.”

You knew that going to The Hideout for the first time since Halloween would be difficult, but you hadn’t expected it to be so hard.

You didn’t expect to see Eddie in everything.

He wasn’t actually there on the random Friday night that you, Nancy, Robin, Steve, and Jonathan decided to hang out, but you saw him on the stage.

You saw him leaning against the back wall, you standing snuggly against him, playing with his hair as you listened to the band on after Corroded Coffin.

You saw him sitting at the bar, peppering kisses along your jaw.

You saw him at the table by the window, his eyes lighting up when he spotted you coming back with drinks in hand.

The Hideout was a living, breathing reminder of everything you and Eddie had once been.

And you didn’t expect it to hurt so much.

“I just can’t believe it’s taking this long,” Jonathan shouted over the music, bringing your attention back to the group. He was rambling on about something to do with Chief Hopper and his mother, and to be honest, you were a little lost.

“Didn’t they go to high school together?” Steve asked. “They’ve known each other forever.”

“Exactly!” Jonathan exclaimed, surging forward enough to jolt Nancy who was perched under his arm. “It’s like, you’ve known each other for so long and you both know you like each other, so why are you just waiting around for something to happen?”

Steve opened his mouth to reply, but one of the bartenders appeared at the end of the table. Earl, you remembered, and from the way his face lit up, he remembered you, too.

“Y/N!” he called, and you waved politely. “I haven’t seen you here for ages! We missed you at Eddie’s set last week. I almost called you when he got so wasted he couldn’t walk, but he insisted he was fine. Stumbled out of here by himself with nothing but his wits. Stupid boy.”

Despite everything, a pang of worry shot through you. “Oh,” you said awkwardly, “I—yeah, Eddie and I aren’t really…” You trailed off, and Earl’s face fell a fraction.

“Ah, well, next round is on me,” he told you, and you sent him a grateful smile as he disappeared into the throng of people.

You weren’t quite sure what to do with yourself, and Steve picked up on it, launching back into the conversation with Jonathan.

That seemed to be your general state of being now. Unsure.

You were unsure who you were without Eddie. You were unsure how you could go forward when a small part of you kept wanting to go back. Back to the man that you had made plans with for after graduation. The man who you had promised to be with forever; promised to build a life with outside of Hawkins in less than a few months.

Eddie still hadn’t tried to see you. He still hadn’t called, or come to your house, or even tried to accost you at school like Chrissy had.

Over the past two weeks, you hadn’t even seen him in the halls at school, or the cafeteria, despite his van being in the parking lot every day.

He simply disappeared from your life, and you weren’t sure if that was a good thing or not.

The lump in your throat made itself apparent, just like it always did. It practically lived within you now.

You slid out of the booth, shooting your friends a quick glance. “Bathroom,” you said quickly, before weaving past people you both recognised and didn’t. Most of the people you only knew because of Eddie.

The bathroom was empty. A small mercy, as you locked the door and sat on the lid of the toilet, head in your hands.

Coming here so soon was a mistake. It was too much.

You pressed the heels of your palms into your eyes, quietly savouring the pressure.

You didn’t belong here without Eddie.

You didn’t belong anywhere without Eddie.

No matter how much you tried to kid yourself, nothing felt right without him.

There was a knock on the door, but you ignored it.

You hadn’t ever even been to The Hideout without him. It was his place, and you just tagged along, ringing in the perks of being with the band. Which weren’t many except maybe a few free drinks here and there.

But to everyone you met there, you were Eddie’s.

And now you weren’t.

And that hurt so much.

Someone knocked again, and this time you shouted, “Give me a minute!”

The person on the other side was silent, and you rubbed at your eyes, patterns playing behind your eyelids in a kaleidoscope of colours and shapes.

It was comforting, somehow.

The door clicked open, and your head shot up to see Nancy standing there, hair pin in hand. “Sorry,” she said, looking only slightly guilty. “I wanted to check on you. I was worried.”

You scoffed. “What if I was peeing?”

She shut the door. “Then we would have known each other a lot more intimately than we did ten seconds before now.” She eyed you up and down, eyes not missing a thing. She was so perceptive that it was almost scary. “Too much?”

You nodded. “Too much.”

“We can go, you know? We don’t have to stay if it’s making you upset.”

“I—I want to. I just—” You waved your hands around. “—It doesn’t feel right. Without him. Nothing does.”

Nancy gave you one of her closed mouth smiles. “I know it feels that way now, but it will get better. I promise.” She knelt before you, hands on your knees as she leaned down to catch your eye. “What he did, you can’t go back, no matter how much you want to.”

You chewed the inside of your cheek. “How long will it take?” You felt like a child asking questions that didn’t have an answer.

Nancy shrugged. “I don’t know. But I do know that a week ago, this would have sent you spiralling. And now, you’re not even crying.” You blinked, feeling for the first time that your eyes were dry. She smiled. “Time, honey. You just need time.”

“Why are we here again?” you grumbled to Jonathan as you both got out of his car on the main street.

“Because one: I need help carrying all this to the car, and two: I also need help putting it together,” he told you.

“And why am I tasked in helping you put your brother’s Christmas present together? It’s still months away.”

Jonathan sighed, all mock disappointment. “Well, you weren’t my first choice, but everyone else is busy.”

You jabbed your finger into his arm. “That’s mean, you know that?”

“Maybe if you stopped complaining so much, we’d already be done,” he teased, and you rolled your eyes.

The main street wasn’t as busy as you thought it would be on a Saturday mid-afternoon.

People still meandered up and down the street, but most were on a mission, like you and Jonathan.

Jonathan hadn’t even explained exactly what it was that you were picking up and putting together. You just knew that he was really excited about giving it to Will. And you could hardly say no to him when it was practically saying no to sweet, little Will.

“Don’t forget we have to pick Lucas and Max up from the arcade on the way back,” you reminded him.

“Why do we have to do that again?”

“Because you recruited me and I already said yes to them, so we have to combine plans.” You side stepped a large group of elderly women who pushed straight through the middle of you two. Jonathan kept walking and was a few metres ahead by the time the group of ladies finished filing past.

You stepped off to follow after him when your name was called from across the street.

Looking up, you froze as Eddie came rushing across the street towards you.

It was as if every single thought you’d ever had emptied from your mind as he came to a stop a few feet from you.

His hair was just as messy as it always was, and you noted the faded bruise on his cheekbone. You didn’t have to guess where that had come from, and the bags under his eyes were much more prominent than they normally were.

Seeing him now, your stomach churned with so many different emotions that you weren’t even sure what you were feeling.

He was a little out of breath as he said, “Can I talk to you? Please?” His dark eyes were pleading, and you fought against the urge to instantly cave, just like you always did when he shot you his puppy dog eyes.

“I—”

You were cut off when Jonathan suddenly appeared beside you. He looked beyond angry; his brows creased, and his top lip pulled back. “I thought we told you to keep your distance, Munson,” he ground out.

Eddie looked surprised to see him. He obviously thought you’d been alone. “I just want to talk, man. Please. I’ve stayed away, but I need to talk to you.” He directed the last bit at you. “Please.”

You didn’t think that you’d heard him say please so much in his life. He was practically begging.

“What do you want to say?” you asked timidly. Eddie glanced between you and Jonathan. “It’s fine, Jonathan. Just give me a minute?”

He looked unsure, but eventually conceded, shooting Eddie a dirty look as he made his way up the street just enough to give you some privacy. You had known him long enough to know that he was still within hearing distance.

“What did you want to talk about?”

When Eddie’s eyes finally found yours again, they looked pained. “I…I wanted to talk about us.”

“There is no us, Eddie.”

“I know. I know that. But I’m so, so sorry. You have no idea how hard these past few weeks have been for me. Staying away from you—”

“How hard they’ve been for you?” You laughed, right in his face. “How do you think they’ve been for me? You didn’t even try and see me.”

“Steve and Jonathan told me not to. They said—”

“I don’t give a shit what Steve and Jonathan said. You cheated on me and then just abandoned me.” Your voice wavered, and you hated that Eddie caught it.

He tried to reach for you, but you stepped back and pulled your hand away. His eyes flashed with hurt, and you squashed the part of you that felt bad. “And I’m so sorry, sweetheart. It was a mistake.”

You closed your eyes for a second, hating the way your pet name rolled off his tongue. The pet name that he hadn’t used in the weeks before Halloween. It had become non-existent once he started seeing Chrissy.

“How many times?” you asked suddenly.

He looked confused. “What?”

“How many times, Eddie?” you repeated. You didn’t want to say the words out loud.

Understanding your meaning, his eyes found the ground. He was silent for a long moment. “Six,” he mumbled.

You choked. “Six?” You took another step back.

“It—Y/N, wait—”

“—Six times you slept with her and then came home to me?”

You weren’t even sure why you were entertaining this conversation. You knew that it was only going to end up with you hurting more than you already were.

“No, I never saw you on those days,” he confessed.

You stared at him. “Is that supposed to make it better?”

His eyes widened, and he rushed out, “No, no. I’m just trying to explain.”

The melancholic agony that you’d been stuck in for weeks was suddenly sharpening. The razor’s thin edge became no longer wanting or not wanting, it became anger and rage. “There is nothing you could possibly explain to make this better.”

His voice became pleading, and he stepped towards you as if you were going to suddenly disappear. “Please, baby, it was a mistake. Chrissy—she’s not you. I want you. I need you—”

Your fist was flying before you could stop it, and you only registered what you had done when your knuckles stung.

Eddie reeled back, and you stared wide-eyed at him. His hand went to his face, holding the spot between his cheekbone and his nose.

He opened and closed his mouth.

“I loved you, Eddie,” you uttered, clutching your fist in your other hand. “I gave you everything, and it still wasn’t enough for you. I needed my boyfriend to love me enough to not sleep with other people.”

Jonathan was suddenly standing beside you.

“Fuck you, Eddie,” you spat as Jonathan took your arm. “I don’t need you anymore.”

If Eddie was going to say something, you didn’t find out, because Jonathan was pulling you up the street past the onlookers who were gawking at both you and Eddie.

“Are you OK?” he asked.

“No,” you muttered, and you weren’t sure if it was the adrenaline or just pure mania, but you started to laugh. “That really fucking hurt. I think I broke my hand.”

Pulling the door open to Family Video an hour before closing, you were pleased to see it was empty aside from the man you were looking for.

“Harrington,” you called as the door shut behind you, “I need a movie recommendation.”

Looking up from where he was leaned against the counter flicking though a magazine, Steve seemed both surprised and happy to see you. “You’ve come to the right place,” he declared, standing up. “We have movies galore. What are you looking for?”

You grinned as you reached the counter. “Something funny, but also a little sad, with a killer soundtrack.”

He pretended to ponder for a moment. “Sounds an awful lot like your favourite movie,” he pronounced.

“Someone has to keep this place afloat. Why not me and my little favourites?”

Steve rolled his eyes playfully. “Where would we be without you?” he joked, pulling a tape from beneath the counter and setting it in front of you.

You raised a brow. “You had it sitting back there already?”

He shrugged. “Had a hunch.”

Reaching for the cash in your pocket, you hissed when your knuckles caught the lip of the pocket. Steve noticed, and his eyes shot to your hand.

“I heard you socked Munson in the face today,” he remarked, and you couldn’t quite tell the tone he used.

“Yeah,” you said sheepishly, placing the money on the counter.

He held out his hand, wagging his fingers. “Let me see.”

Gingerly, you placed your hand in his own, watching as he studied your knuckles. Unlike his, the skin of your knuckles was still intact, but they were slowly starting to bruise.

And they hurt like hell. You didn’t know how people did it over and over again. Just one mediocre punch and you were sure you wouldn’t be able to hold a pencil for a week.

“We match,” you observed, and he shot you a disapproving look.

“Not really something I wanted to match you for.” He brushed his thumb over them, and you winced. “You’re lucky it’s not broken.”

“Jonathan already gave me that spiel,” you muttered. He had seriously ripped into you on the drive from the main street. Not only had you ruined his plans for the day and still forced him to pick up Lucas and Max, but he then had to take you to the hospital which he was less than impressed with.

The verdict had been bruised knuckles and not a break, but the doctor had advised you to lay off punching people in the face in the future.

Still looking at your hand, Steve started chuckling and you narrowed your eyes. “What?”

He shook his head. “I just can’t believe you punched him in the main street.”

“He’s the one who came at me. If anything, he chose the location,” you tried to justify.

Steve smiled. “I’m proud of you,” he said after a second. “I know it was hard for you.”

Your heart squeezed in your chest. “Thank you, Stevie.”

And you really meant it.

You had no doubt that if it weren’t for the support of your friends, you wouldn’t be where you were. If it weren’t for them, you might never have known about Eddie and Chrissy.

And as much as you had been confused and upset about not seeing Eddie in the last few weeks, Steve’s threats about giving you space were the best thing that could have happened. Because you would have gone back to him if he showed up on your doorstep. You would have continued to bleed yourself dry for him over and over again.

Steve tapped your fingers, and you looked back at him.

Like Nancy said, it would still take some time.

But you were all right with that.

#eddie munson x reader #stranger things x reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x you #eddie munson angst #stranger things fanfiction #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson one shot #eddie munson imagine #stranger things imagine #stranger things one shot #stranger things angst #steve harrington x reader #outerspacebisexual

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callofloony · 7 months

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Ghost x Plus sized reader.

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Tags: Gn!Reader, talk of insecurity, fluff, just pure unadulterated fluff!! No smut if that’s what you were hoping for, lots of physical contact tho, sorry!! (This is a sfw blog)

A/N: Some very self indulgent Ghost fluff and hcs because im very upset rn, i think the entire cod community could use a little happiness atm (iykyk)

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Ghost, who will gently cup/pinch your stomach or your hips whenever you’re feeling insecure just to get your attention, and then pull you super duper close to him and just love on you!! He adores you, and loves to dote on your softness, your adorable squish, and the fact that you give the best cuddles bc of it!

Ghost, whose favorite place to rest his head, and/or sleep, is on your stomach. When he’s home from deployment, the first thing he’ll do is shower and change, (his way of acclimating back home) then he’ll walk up to you, pull you into the bedroom (if you arent there already) and just lay his head on your stomach while finally being in bed, play with his hair why don’t you!! I promise he’ll melt.

Ghost, who loves to give you soft kisses and love bites across your body, he gets cuteness aggression cuz of you!! He needs to take it out somehow! So your body is usually always covered in very gentle bite marks from where Ghost likes to nip you. The puppy his is! Stg!!!

Ghost, who is very grateful for your extra warmth during the colder months, those days where huddling up in a blanket with the heat turned up just isn’t enough, and he needs to pull you close and stick his hands up your shirt to warm em up, simply resting on your stomach. (It normally ends with you yelping and flinching from his chilly hands, which gets a chuckle out of him.)

Ghost, who loves to see you when you’re very clearly in full confidence!! You’re wearing a more form fitting outfit in public, one that he chose for you long ago, and one that made you nervous before, but now it isn’t so scary anymore!! He’s so proud of you!!

Ghost, who will (politely) demand Laswell to track anyone who insults or shames you for your body, he doesn’t want you to feel ashamed or upset, you’re his baby <33 no ones allowed to hurt you, or so help him.

Ghost, who loves giving you chin and neck kisses, because it’s near your double chin, and he loves your double chin!! It makes your face look so round and SQUISHY!!

Ghost, who is all for knowing you could rival him in strength because of your extra fat, you gave him a purely playful punch on the shoulder once, not thinking much of it, until you hear him wince a little. You felt SOOO BAD. YOU DIDN’T MEANT TO HURT HIM!! Until he chuckles and smirks, complimenting your strength before kissing your cheek and calling you a dork <333

Ghost, who loves to compliment and praise your appearance on the regular because he loves how flustered it makes you!! You’ve struggled with your body for ages, now you have someone who loves you no matter what!

Ghost, who loves the extra weight and pressure you give whenever you lay on top of him, it helps keep him grounded and relaxed, especially after a hard day!!

Ghost, who has to use every ounce of his strength and will not to pinch your cheeks and (gently) shake your face, YOU’RE JUST TOO SOFT AND CUTE!! HE LOVES IT. But eventually, he fails to hold back, and the confusion on your face after made it all worth it.

Ghost, who will sometimes use you as a stress toy, gently placing a hand on your arm and/or thigh and just massaging it gently. It could be a very casual thing, you two are watching a movie in bed, and he’ll just randomly start squeezing your bicep!! Or it could be more committed, where your whole body is a stress toy, and he’ll just squish you repeatedly.

——————

A/N: I think that’s all I have for now, take care of yourself, and be safe!! I mean it

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vvasilisa · 3 years

Note

❛ how long has it been since you’ve eaten ? ❜ (Frieda -> Historia).

IT’S SO COLD. SO COLD. WAS IT SNOWING AGAIN? [cold, like that night.] oh’ winter will bury its way into the gaps of floorboards, how oak will wallows & bones will tremble like chimes -- the creeks that shudder through the open halls / halls polluted by the dead / populated by specters of distance & blurred memories ; why do you stumble through these ruins? searching for some form of closure / some remnants of the rumble / or do you just feel safe among the silence? oh. what are you digging for? [where are they.] or have you finally gone mad? [ you know you left them here.] shush yourself, shush yourself -- bite your tongue, bite that stained / tarnished once-silver tongue / you should bite it off / you should sew such vile / sullied lips shut permanently --- you only spew such awful sonnets. those sonnets, they are fraudulent, when you speak within meetings / when you stand so stiff -- when you serve humanity, what do you think really? [i wish they all were crushed.] oh, hold the smile / hate, it sticks to your mouth, bile will digress itself / rejecting the notion that you owe them shit / repress such tone / puke it up / hold hands over your maw / you are going to spew such filth into your hands ; it’s okay, figureheads will come, & take take take take -- take it fucking all, & take / eat like hungering buzzers / vultures to prey / they will eat you alive & watch you waste away --- YOU HATE THEM, YOU HATE THEM ALL, YOU FUCKING HATE THEM SO MUCH. how deep you yearn for each of their deaths. how you wish to smother them with the pillow they sleep so soundly on. how poetic, you have no shame in your ire, guilt will be your company each waking day you face them. & you were destined to rule / destined to play the fool. Levi said it himself. so many years ago. did he not?

hm. you are back here again. you discard boxes, tomes, handkerchiefs, & so many miscellaneous articles -- so many items, so many useless, useless things ; stacking & sorting, so - so desperately you dig. [ THEY ARE HERE. ] AH. BRIGHT / STARDOM -- you are pulled to a sudden stop, the gleam of glass / mirror blinds, & naturally you flinched. [a mirror.] & you can see it, how your hand trembles at how you hold the mirror ( once so polished, now rusted. like you. ) lo, curiosity will be your downfall. FOR FLAXEN, FLAX YAWN / YOU ARE WHEAT UNDER THE SUN. such beauty is not your own, no, no, no, no, no no no nononononononno-- IT IS STOLEN. such beauty is stolen ; mother’s reflection is all you see / glass shaped mockery / is that really you? [ you have avoided your reflection for sometime. ] how your grip tightens, historia? [ i do not deserve to look like her. ] historia, do you not hear the steps? [she hates me.] historia, are you so deaf? so caught in your regression, again, AgAIn. & AgAIN. [ oh. you burned the letters..... ] wait. a hand cover a face. [ ...did i? ] WAIT. fingers pressed. [ i did. i-- ] WHY. WHY DID I DO THAT??? you know why. YOU READ WHAT SHE SAID ABOUT YOU, you read how she hated you, how looking at herself made her sick to her stomach. how you ruined everything. you are the worst thing to ever happen to her. you are the worst girl in the world. HISTORIA -- KRISTA. [shut up.] YOU ARE HUMANITY’S GREATEST ERR. [ i’m sorry. ] a daughter to no woman, for madonna has cast you out, for holofernes used you / you slit his nape. [ SHuT UP.] for delilah, she tricked you / she was a false prophet. for adam, son of no male, he touched you / broke you. [WHAT ROLE AM I PLAYING.] & now. & now. bastard / you are dirty / you are alone. AGAIN. & now. thy tears, so they fall, fall with the pattering of snow / fall with the huffing of your lungs / fluttering of your lids. why are you crying. why are you making a fist? why are you making a fist? why are you so angry? why? WHY? WHy --knuckles will smash into glass, how a rock hits the ocean / disturbing such a calm surface / & water will fly --- blood will pour / glass protrudes from a hand [ why did i do that? ] self destruction is such an ugly thing, no ? [why.]

you know why. how old were you? [i don’t know] the day she threw you to the floor? alma, hand grabbed your face, a woman’s strength / a woman’s anger / a mother’s hatred. & you rolled across the dirt, rocks against a frail body -- you were so happy. happy at the smallest touch / the smallest touch from your mother. & yet, your smile was met with tears. & you did it again, you hurt her. YOUR MERE PRESENCE HURT HER. [i’m sorry] is that why? you burned all her letters written to rod, burned them in anger? you searched for any remnants of her. anything you could hold onto, & YOU FUCKING BURNED THEM. & so. repeat. you crumpled ymir’s letter in anger. & so. repeat again. you tore eren’s letter in twine. & so----- you screamed, & cried. & ached, and repeat. this pounding / this beating on your chest / a pile of stones compressing and crushing / lifting & smashing. you are too angry / too selfish / you did this....didn’t you? [you did. STOP ACTING LIKE YOU DIDN’T.] WHAT IS LEFT? YOU WANT TO STOP. YOUR HEART HURTS. WHY DOES THIS HURT. WHY--- THOSE TEARS WILL STAIN PIGMENT.

historia, did you wish she took your memories again, or are these memories even true?? WAIT, are they. what is real?? WHAT IS REAL. GODDESSES. WHAT. IS. REAL. wHaT is--

‘ historia? look up. historia, look at me. historia, why are you crying? ‘

snap out of it. ‘ --- frieda. ’ frieda. id. frieda. eve. frieda. liar. SISTER. she still holds you. & you dare to soil her name under your breath. you are a blight to the blood. hide your hand. hide the vile blood. hide your awful awful nature. & frieda, if you saw her hideous habits / strip historia of the white she wears / strip her of her skin / strip all the facades [frieda, would you hate me...] would she hate you for how the days you stared down [ standing on the throat of a branch ] heels slowly, slowly sliding -- those pools stared into thee mouth of the devil / a titan jaw [do you jump?] -- frieda, would you hate her? & if she knew, if she knew how you used your blade--- [frieda....] historia? what stopped you? pride? fear of soiling the reiss name any further than you already have? you were told to die, die a martyr, die-- why didn’t you jump? [why didn’t i?] oh yeah. ymir was always there, always bugging you. always distracting you. & then marco. & then eren-- &, it’s all their fault. krista. you coward. was it them?

!???!!??!!?!! --- trembling hands will hold your face. hold your face like in youth. so gentle. so soft. too gentle for someone like you. Thumb will wipe away such tears. you cannot hear her, how concern is loud / scolding booming in these barren walls -- & the skirt of her pretty dress, she holds your hand in lap, wrapping such dirty hands / applied pressure / plops of crimson will soak the cloth ; you ruin another thing. ‘ i ruined your dress, i ruined it, it’s will be stained-- i’m --sorry--i’m-- ’ you hear her shush you / oft shushing the anger that beat within / those birds that fight for mere measly crumbs to feed your anger. ravens all cawing / screeching so loud. [why do you do this?] you feel you deserve to hurt. & you hurt her. when will you learn. & when will you think of her. when will you grow up. nothing has changed. you are a blemish to your name. a burden to those you love.

but does she know, dose she feel your animosity ? dose she know you lie awake ; you hold a bucket, you stare off into the fields. you hear your mother screaming ? did that happen ? WAS YOUR MOTHER REALLY AWFUL. or did she even exist. frieda ? FRIEDA, DID YOU TAKE MY MEMORIES? FRIEDA, WHAT DID YOU CHANGE ? WHAT--- PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE. WHAT DID YOU CHANGE. WHAT IS TRUE ?? your head hurts. splitting / it will burst / it will crack that crown / expose such aggression ---STOP. this is not ladylike. she will say it. she--- [i don’t care] really, you want to be her. [she looks at me with sorrow] you want to be the one to help. [she knows i am nothing] you want to be her so badly. [to hold such power] you want to be loved like her. [father loved her.] you need to be her ? [historia is nothing.] WHO ARE YOU TO CRY. [krista is useless.] she bares the founds tongue against her mouth / she holds so much pain / why would you want to be her ? the noose of time is tightening. [to stop this all.] WHO ARE YOU? are you so selfish? to make her worry. [I WANT TO BE HER. I WANT TO--] FRIEDA ? stop, HISTORIA ? stop crying. KRSITA ?? PICK ONE. PICK ONE. PICK ONE ALREADY. ‘ WHAH-- ‘

frieda hands / thy blessed touch comes to violent / they cover that mouth / suffocating - silencing your rambling. &, forehead comes to rest heavy against your own, midnight & morning ; remembrance to prior days / departure of of her company...when you begin to forget / you begin to feel dizzy--- oh. [stop.] OH. & eyes ; they are heavy, they will shut, & wings of night / lashes will flutter open to find her own --- why were you upset? why were you crying? DO YOU KNOW? you feel so hollow / so dirty / why. why --- oh yeah, you dropped the mirror & cut your hand. [i must have gone lightheaded.] Right.

‘ how long has it been since you’ve eaten ? ‘

how long...ah. you are not taking proper care of yourself again. is that why she looks so upset ! ‘ ....i ate this morning, sis....i think. ’

〈 * MEME -/- @veqva

#veqva #so anyways enjoy some pain :^)#i can't believe we really just made this 1000% more sad and worst... i hate it here #frieda being alive and constantly making hisu doubt her memories and like also making her feel like a fake?? yeah #there is a tint of envy and anger and so much distrust askjaskjkajksdjksjk #but frieda making her forget stuff she did that just makes her snap ?? she is now a time bomb #・ﾟ 𝓲 ❛ ━━━ ANSWERED.#suicide /#self harm /#gore /#death /#child abuse /#snk /#long post /#ask to tag /#i hope i covered all the tags i stg #⎛ MARTYR HUNG ― TONGUE REMOVED . ⎠ ◦ ━━━ 〈 REISS. H. ◞ IC.

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duuhrayliegh · 3 years

Text

dm slide

pairing: sebastian stan x reader

warnings: alcohol consumption, language, nothing else really, it’s just really fluffy i think

word count: 1905

a/n: okay so my other stuff is coming, i stg, i’m just in the middle of finals and moving out of my dorm, and starting a new job, so i’m a bit stressy right now, but i’m getting there loves.

so if this one isn’t as good as it could be that’s why, but i’m hoping to add on to it later

p.s.: my requests and tag lists are open!!

xoxo ray

ray’s m.list

You were currently at your best friend’s birthday party, polishing off your third overfull glass of wine. Your best friend threw her hands above her head, shouting out “Shots on me!” She thrusted a shot glass in your hand, encouraging you to toss back the liquid. You set down your wine glass, picking up the smaller cup, not caring about the flashing cameras around you.

“I’m so glad you were able to get free from your oh so lavish lifestyle as a celebrity to come hang out with little ‘ol me!” She had to continue to shout for you to hear her over the loud music blasting through the club speakers. She grabbed your arm, pulling you towards the bathrooms. “Are you getting ready to go? The sound system is giving me a headache.” You smiled at her, grabbing your phone from your clutch.

“Absolutely, babes. Let me order the Uber and then we can go.” You held onto your phone tighter, walking up to the bar to settle your tab. “Hey, Gabe!” Gabe, one of the bartenders, turned to you.

“Hey, Y/N!” He went to grab a bottle of your favorite wine to uncork it, but stopped when you held your hand up.

“Just settling up and heading out.” You passed your black AmEx card over the counter to his waiting hand.

“You’re missin’ out, Y/N. The party is just getting started here.” You shook your head at the man.

“Nah, I’m celebrating my best friend’s birthday tonight, so this is her call.” He slid your card back to you, watching you push it into the slots of your clutch. “We’re getting outta here, but that doesn’t mean our party is ending.” You winked at him, meeting up with your companion. You linked arms with her, leading the way through the crowd. It was cold outside, which didn’t mean good things for you because of your almost too short dress. The Uber stopped beside the curb, rolling their window down for you to double check. You climbed in beside your friend, scooting closer to increase your warmth. The ride to your apartment wasn’t too long, thankfully because Uber’s creeped you out, no matter how safe you were.

Walking into your apartment was difficult to say the least. You both were stumbling the entire way to the elevator and then stumbling into your couch cushions. The two of you managed to make it to your bedroom, swapping out your tight garments for some more ill fitting attire. That was not before you took an absurd amount of photos together in your bathroom mirror. You sat across from each other on the black couch in your apartment, sifting through the pictures of the two of you. Your best friend was leaned over your shoulder, watching as you scrolled through.

“Oo! That one!” She pointed at the screen quickly, stopping your scrolling. It was of you holding the phone, leaning backward staring at the phone in your hand. Your best friend was facing you, her bare back displayed from the deep dip in the back of her dress. “We look so hot.” You both shared a look and then burst into a fit of laughter. You posted the picture to your Instagram, tagging your best friend in the corner, wishing her a happy birthday. She slid away from your, covering her lower half with a blanket.

“You want a water?” You asked as you rose from your spot on the couch. She smiled big at you.

“Can I convince you to mix up some margaritas?” Her bottom lip rolled inwards, waiting for your response. You rolled your eyes, shaking your head before opening your liquor cabinet. You pulled down bottles of triple sec and tequila, reaching into your freezer for the bag of strawberries and limeade. You brought your Ninja Bullet out to make individual margaritas for both you and your drunk friend. Walking back over to her with containers in hand, you plopped opposite her on the couch.

“You’re literally the bestest ever.” She slurped on the drink through her swirly straw. The conversation faded between the two of you, allowing the both of you to go through your socials. “Did you see that Lizzo got a message back from Chris Evans the other day?” You laughed at her question, remembering your reaction to Lizzo’s TikTok.

“Mhm. Can you imagine getting a reply back from one of those hunks of men?” She shook her head while guzzling her margarita.

“I can’t, but I bet you can.” You scrunch your brows at her and she groaned. “You’re a celebrity too, dumbass. Girl, the amount of times that I’ve gotta remind you of that is insane.” You laughed at her, rolling your eyes.

“Babes, just because I’m quote, unquote famous, doesn’t mean that I’m on their level.” She pointed a finger at you.

“Hey, just shoot your shot, Y/N.”

“I literally don’t even know which one I would DM.” Your best friend scoffed loudly.

“Bullshit!” You choked at how loud she yelled. “You don’t know who you would DM? I know who you would DM in a fucking heartbeat.” You looked over at her with raised brows and in unison you said. “Sebastian Stan.” “Sebastian Stan.”

“Mm, he is a six foot tall Romanian God.” You shook your head while fake moaning, your friend laughing in the background. She reached for your phone before you could protest, typing away on your keyboard, smiling mischievously. She thrust the phone back into your hands, the empty DM screen of imsebastianstan on Instagram staring back at you.

“All you gotta do is send something.” She smiled at you while you glanced down at your phone screen nervously. You began typing something quickly then locked the screen, placing it facing downward on your lap, a giggly smile resting on your face. She scooted closer to you, folding her legs up to her chin. “Wait! What did you say?” You unlocked your phone, showing her the screen. She laughed at your message, drinking the rest of her margarita.

y/n.y/l/n: hi, i’m y/n and you’re the love of my life ;) <3

“That’s so fucking good, oh my God.” She glanced at the clock on your phone. “Oh girl, we’ve gotta go to sleep.” You checked it as well, dropping your head into your hands.

“Mhm, you’re right.” You stood from your spot, holding your hand out to your friend to help her up. “Let’s go to sleep.” You both crashed on your king sized mattress underneath your white fluffy duvet. You were about to drift off to sleep, when your best friend’s voice floated into your ears.

“Do you think he’s gonna reply to you?” Her voice was slurring more and more from the amount she drank and the sleep weighing on her mind. You smiled at her, it was a long shot that he would even see it, much less reply.

“We’ll have to see, babes.” She didn’t reply to you as you both fell off into a dreamless abyss.

********************

The sun streaming into your room woke you up in the morning, light hitting your eyelid just right. You blinked harshly, bringing your hand up to block the glare. A groan escaped your lips, stretching out from your best friends grip. “Fuck me.” You held your head in your hand, groaning about the headache blossoming at the nape of your neck. You left the bed, pulling a sweater over your tank top to catch some warmth. You tucked your phone into the waistband of your shorts. You padded into the kitchen, grabbing your Advil bottle, dumping two pills into your hand. You got a glass of water, settling down on the couch after gulping down the headache medicine.

You opened your phone while basically inhaling your water. Your memories of last night were fuzzy, you drank quite a bit. Did you drink too much? Maybe… but did you regret it at all? Not a second of it. You had the best time hanging out with your best friend. You check your Instagram post, replying to several different comments. A red bubble was pinned over your DM button in the corner. You tilted your head in curiosity, wondering who messaged you now. You swiped over, eyes widening at the new message.

imsebastianstan: Hi, Y/N. I’m Sebastian, thank you for professing your love to me.

The feeling of panic running through your veins didn’t last long, A gigantic smile spread accompanied by a giggle. What the fuck do you do now? Your fingers hesitated over the keyboard, thinking through what you want to say back.

y/n.y/l/n: hello sebastian, what do ya say we figure out if it’s a match :)

You sent the message before you could chicken out, locking the phone shortly after, shoving it in your waistband. You got up, refilling your glass of water, leaning against your granite countertop, tapping your fingers impatiently. You squealed as you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket.

imsebastianstan: What do you have in mind?

y/n.y/l/n: 917-555-0545 <3

Oh my god, you can’t believe you just did that. Holy shit, what are you thinking? Maybe this will all work out in your favor. You really had nothing to lose but your dignity, right? A disturbance in the peace to the right of your caught your attention.

“Why the hell are you up so early? We drank last night, that’s an excuse to sleep in, you fuck baffoon.” Her hair was tousled on top of her head, shirt hanging off one shoulder. You turned your phone around, thrusting it towards her face.

“There’s been recent developments on the Stan front.” Her brows raised, face becoming shocked.

“Oh. My. God. Are you fucking serious?” She snatched the phone away from your hand quickly to scroll through the messages. “You gave him your number?” She yelled at you as she stretched across the couch, laying her head in your lap. Your phone buzzed in her hands and her eyes widened to unbelievable proportions. “Bitch, you just got a text from an unsaved number.”

“Shut the fuck up.” You looked at the phone in her hands. “I didn’t think he was actually going to text me, I sent it as a joke! What’s it say?”

“How are we going to figure this out?” You both shared a look, shrieking enthusiastically. “Y/N! Sebastian Stan texted you!” She jumped up and down on your couch, pulling you up with her.

“What do I say back?” You held the phone against your chest, staring expectantly at your best friend. She shook her head at you.

“Nuh-uh girl. This is all you.” She held her hands up in surrender. You looked down at your keyboard, the blinking cursor waiting for instructions.

“Okay, okay, how ‘bout, ‘discuss over coffee?’” You looked at your best friend for approval, still standing on your couch. You sent the message after she nodded. A message bubble popped up, three blinking dots inside.

There’s a coffee shop on 8th street, just outside of Washington State Park.

wanna meet up around three?

I’ll be there, Y/N.

You turned to your best friend, holding the phone to your chest. “Babes.” She raised her brows, waiting. “I have a fucking date with Sebastian Stan!” You both squealed, excited for what would happen on your date.

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saintobio · 3 years

Note

the second i read angina I remembered of the iCarly episode where the old man is yelling “i got angina” and i had to laugh for a second im so sorry 😭😭 and the entire chapter i felt like i was watching a telenovela and my dumbass kept tearing up and commentating in spanish

the entire time i was reading this i just felt so much pain for mc, now that she has to reduce the amount of stress she’s been typically enduring unless she wants to worsen her symptoms and decided what to do with fucking Satoru here who’s the common denominator of it all basically and ESPECIALLY since MC still doesn’t know that he didn’t bag it before he tagged it, mans didn’t cover his stump before he humped, like he avoided wrapping his foil before he checked for oil and shit i stg and if you take into consideration even if MC was willing into trying to divorce him for her own sake, it’s pretty evident that he’s attached to them which would result in even brining up the topic of divorce it’ll be bad for her condition cause i know homie over here doesn’t want to give up on MC now that he realized that he’s having feeling and an attachment towards MC

anyways like i’ve been saying this entire time [sigh] toji <3

to end this off i’m just going to say that in hindsight it’s a bad idea in a couple of chapters but idrc what anybody else thinks rn because I personally salute MC into staying with him physically but not being there mentally for him as well, like yes MC pls follow with what Toji said and live out your dreams 😭 para que se le quite pinche malcriado güevón de Satoru

i still wanna fight sera on god I won’t even get started on her rn bc as a psychologist pov i can see why she’s acting out but i choose violence every time and i want to fight her

i hope you’re doing well Ai and you have a good weekend!!

YULI UR PUNS AND MEMES NEVER FAIL 😭😭 IMJSNSDNNKS PLS I LAUGHYED SO HARD ESP AT THE TWITTER MEMES THANK U FOR FEEDING US <333

#saintobio.asks #series: sincerely not #sn: memes

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hmspogue · 3 years

Text

Outer Banks season 2 Official Trailer shot-by-shot rundown

A comprehensive post where I scream about analyze the entire trailer frame by frame for clues, theories, and plot. Just my own opinions and general tin foil-hatting

These are screenshots from Netflix’s trailer for Outer Banks season 2. I do not claim or own any of these.

note: this post is tagged as a long post if you wish to avoid having to scroll until your thumbs break.

“My old man used to tell me, ‘it’s best to never say you’ve hit rock bottom’.”

(Putting all of these shots together since they’re scenes we already know but-) Holy shit, okay let’s just....start off like this I guess, damn.

“'Trust me’, he said...”

Kiara looking back and forth between the boys like this really just feeds the headcanon I have that her form of grief this season is going to be her trying to hold it together for their sakes (and eventually just snapping).

JJ just looks fucking furious someone give these kids a hug? I already know this scene is going to ruin me.

“You can always go...”

JJ back working at the hotel. He looks literally so angry again in this scene I could see him self destructing at work and losing his job? (Please do not be isolating yourself you beautiful son of a bitch even though I know you’re going to).

Pope in the Twinkie (costuming wise they all are in warmer looking clothes for some of the shots, so just confirming it’s a little bit into the school year when this all takes place).

“Lower”

Big John was real big into pep talks, I see. (seriously can you imagine Big John having this conversation with like 8 year old John B after he fucking dropped his ice cream cone or some shit I shouldn’t be laughing).

I’m just-

These poor kids, I wanna know how the police all the way down in the Bahama’s knew about them?

Their calves....

“RUN!”

Are going to be so fucking jacked by the end of this season I stg.

Fuck you.

“The gold from the Royal Merchant....it’s here.”

For a while, I had thought that maybe they didn’t even make it to the Bahama’s at the front of the season and ended there (because everyone had been filming in there). But I guess they’re going to be making two trips.

If I were a bird from this POV I’d shit right on that house no questions asked.

oooooh ho hokay. Just so we’re clear. Ward Cameron not only get away with murder and about two dozen other felonies, but-

“Half a billion.”

HE STILL FINDS THE GOLD IN THE CRAIN HOUSE AND GETS TO KEEP IT?

Not the polo with the snap back, I just know this man has a playlist called Sad Boi Hours that is just Juice WRLD’s top 5 songs on Spotify and he tells his friends they wouldn’t know the underground artists he listens to.

Sh, you have lost screaming privileges. Go inside and take a nap maybe.

“John B, we are fugitives in a foreign country.”

So, previously, I was talking about how I was confused how they would still be trying to find him is everyone thought he was dead, but here the wanted poster clearly says “presumed lost at sea”. I think that will be interesting to see how the Pogues all interpret that.

Especially because they already had a memorial for John B and everything, I wonder if there will be any part of the Pogues holding out hope that they both could still be out there OUCH.

I’m going to circle back to this, but it looks like John B and Sarah are going to get separated for a little while in this man hunt, I could see my idiot himbo son trying to sacrifice himself so Sarah can get away but in reality just....stranding her.

“Promise me you won’t do anything stupid?”

Oh, sweetie....

“Well, Sarah Cameron, I do stupid things all the time without realizing it.”

The volume of his self awareness is astronomical. sir, that is your whole character summed up in your own words.

GOD, IT’S ME AGAIN. PLEASE LET THEM LEAN INTO COMPLETE HIMBO JOHN B THIS SEASON I’LL DO ANYTHING-

nyyooooOOOOOOOOOOOOM-

“Hold on!”

The complete abject terror I would feel having John Booker Routledge driving get-away and then saying the words “Hold on” while reaching fro the gear shift? The english language fails me.

Sarah, bestie, I’m so sorry.

I just wanna know-

what the plan or objective was in this situation. What was the reason for being this dramatic.

Rest in piss, bozo <3

“Ward’s still out there...”

Okay, same conversation they were having as before. I wonder what makes them decide they need to get back to the OBX for this tho.

“I can clear my name. This can all be over in one shot.”

It looks like Topper watching this but way more concerningly, correct me if I’m wrong but this 100% looks like....John B gets caught. And the DEATH PENALTY?! He did have a mug shot for the fliers in s1 and the one above but he was never brought in? Plus he just looks super dirty and dishevled in this one so I-

Jail break anyone?

I also still want to know if they’re going to go with a Topper redemption arc this season. like, does he know more than he should just from being around Rafe and his big fat mouth? Is he going to help out the Pogues even if it’s just for Sarah?

This shot just suddenly made me really sad. The thought of this all started because Big John left one last thing for his son to find, his literal life’s work. And when it all started, it was just a fun adventure John B and his best friends were going on together and having fun with. Then it all got dragged to absolute shit and turned into what it did, including the remaining 3 Pogues thinking that this treasure hunt took their two best friends away from them. And it’s nothing like Big John intended it to be.

Why my eyes wet?

Now we’re edging into what I was talking about earlier with John B and Sarah getting separated.

“If you think there is anything I wouldn’t do...”

Once again, John B is no where to be found. Also, just in case y’all didn’t already know or forgot Ward is an actual psychopath.

I believe this one of the new character, played by Jontavious Johnson (Stubbs). Based on the voice over it lowkey sounds like they’re implying Ward maybe hired Stubbs and Cleo to find and bring Sarah back. My theory would be I bet they do go to retrieve her, but she somehow convinces them that it would be more beneficial for them in the end to be on the Pogue’s side instead.

Miss Girl you gotta be keeping your head on a SWIVEL. Especially when you’re a FUGITIVE of the LAW-

“...you haven’t been paying attention.”

My guy, who are you clarifying this for?

It’s what you deserve for monologuing.

in all seriousness, the idea of them coming to face to face with Ward in Nassau after thinking they finally escaped him is genuinely terrifying.

“SARAH!”

It kind of looks like they’re either hiding their faces or covering their noses? I don’t know maybe it was from some tactic to get away from Ward.

What did I literally jsut say about yelling privileges, you unhinged mother fucker?

“I’m calling the shots now. I’m driving.”

The following progression of scenes made me actually snort-

“I can’t drive stick.”

PLEASE THE FINGER GUNS LAUNCHED ME INTO ORBIT I LOVE THEM, YOUR HONOR.

Alright, so now it looks like we’re in Charleston. This is the same scene with Heyward’s truck that got leaked from BTS (read: JJ and Kie shoulder touch).

One of the main things that stuck out to me in the following scenes which, you will see, is it lowkey looks like Pope is kind of heading up this part of the operation, or even going in alone? The following clips are just very Pope focused.

I don’t know what it means, it’s just an observation.

“John B was not the only one that Ward double-crossed.”

LIMBRY-

Bro, we have been hearing about this woman for literal months and I just have....so many questions?

Who the hell is she? How is she connected to Ward? Why is she in South Carolina instead of the OBX? How do the Pogues even learn about her and how to track her down? How is she meant to “help” them? GAH I JUST WANNA KNOOOW. I already know I don’t trust her though and no I will not be offering up supporting evidence.

Sir, that is my son please unhand him.

“I think you know what I want.”

.......no? But feel....free to explain yourself?

The print on the paper is the same one that’s on the ceiling tiles in the following scene. Obviously, with a key on it that most likely goes to the place a few shots from now.

Hell yeah, son, let’s get SLEUTHING.

“The treasure belongs to the Pogues.”

DAMN STRAIGHT.

Bestie’s I’m not going to lie, I stared at this frame for a solid 10 minuets and I have no idea what it says on there I’m sorry. Someone in the comments is welcome to enlighten us.

“We gotta find it first.”

I can’t tell if that’s just dirt or if he hurt his head? But he look GOOD right now for one thing. For another, same outfit as the one in the Twinkie from the beginning of the trailer.

Look at her. LooK AT HER! LOOK! AT! HER! I MISSED HER SO MUCH even in that damn smiley face top that continues to haunt my waking hours she is in it so much and it stresses me out for literally no good reason I’m sorry-

I could literally cry right now and I think that speaks volumes to how little we actually see him genuinely happy. Have I mentioned how much I love that red hat?

Also, probably not that important, but this is not from the same scene as the shots of Pope and Kiara were. This is from the next one-

“Woogity-woogity?”

“Give me some woogity, baby!”

Yeah, this pushed me over the fucking edge, the way that they’re actually happy and laughing? The fact that they kept woogity-woogity and made it A Thing? Yes.

I am, however, going to be intentionally ignoring what appears to be the very intentional stagingof having such an obvious space between where Kiara and Pope are sitting adn where JJ sits, even including the level they’re sitting on because I don’t have the emotional capacity to face those implications right now. Thank you for your time.

Yes yeeeeEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!

GIVE ME ALL OF THE SCENES OF THEM ACTUALLY GETTING TO BE TEENAGERS AND JUST BREATHE AND LAUGH AND HAVE A GOOD TIME AND NOT BE RUNNING FOR THEIR FUCKING LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!

before Rafe comes in and literally starts shooting because they can’t breathe for more than 7 seconds but we’ll....get to that.

They refer to Sarah as a Pogue this season or I burn Netflix to the ground. Your move, Jonas.

50 bucks says John B is driving the Twinkie again for the first time since being back.

I deadass think the Pogues JUST got Sarah and John B back and they’re just having the time of their life. Kie was in her smiley face outfit when Pope was in this one a few clips ago, and I still hold to the belief that that one still they released of JJ and Kie hopping over a fence is the Pogue reunion so-

Ward? I have no idea what he’s looking at behind the wall paper and I’ll be so honest I don’t care my eyes are only seeing Pogue content right now.

“This is a map of the whole island.”

This fit, when will John B learn how to operate buttons, stay tuned for season 5. Also my previous theory of this being their reunion outfits and stuff because Pope is in the back in the same jacket as before.

The plot thickens and so has JJ’s hair, Rudy drop the shampoo brand.

Please, dear God, tell me they’re back in the sex church. For @jiaaraa sake.

Kiara, your Madison is showing.

Okay, I really did try but all I can make out is Something to the tomb begin something something.

You’re welcome.

I am no expert but I do not believe boats operate on land.

John B looks like he is in the same outfit here that is in his mug shot we saw on the TV screen so I have a sneaking suspicion this is where he gets caught.

“John B is back-”

Once again with the damn sexual tension that’s always between Barry and Rafe in every scene they do are we about to kiss right now?

“-it’s him or me.”

First of all, no.

Second of all, I’m just....so very confused about this time line this season. It kind of looks like Ward and Rafe follow and find Sarah and John B in Nassau (unless those scenes by the truck were actually back in the OBX). So did they....go to Nassau, then just come right back when they did? I’m just confused.

Put that thing back where it came from or so help me.

Literally when will you stop at this point I am begging you.

This looks like the same scene the Pogues were, ya know, literally just having a good time at so fuck me, I guess.

Yeah, no, it’s going to be a no from me, I’m just going to pretend like I’m not seeing this and moving on.

I have simply no idea what is going on here or who that is on the bike but maybe JJ? Maybe Luke even? I think that’s JJ’s bike.

The sewer scene. The SEWER SCENE-

For months sicne that tiktok leaked this damn scene has been genuinely all I could think about. So (obviously) it seems like they’re sending Kie down into the sewer to go do seomthing and things go horribly, horribly wrong.

If you haven’t seen the tiktok, essentially all it was was JJ and Pope screaming and trying to lift up the man hole cover while Kie is begging for them to hurry from inside. I’m cheating a little bit as this isn’t a shot from the trailer but this picture was posted and it’s from the same scene.

I’ll just....leave this here. Back to the trailer shots.

Nice. Also, same shirt as mugshot.

Hey, um, what?

Kiara’s car, she’s driving, I can’t tell who’s in the back seat or the front.

Holy God what is going on and how can I as an audience member put a stop to it?

So, same scene as we will see and was in the teaser but, for some reason, they’re all jumping off of a giant ass boat into the little life raft where it looks like JJ gets hurt later but don’t you worry we’re getting to that.

JJ AND KIARA WITH THE POGUE HANDSHAKE JJ AND KIARA WITH THE POGUE HANDSHAKE THEY BOTH LOOK SO DAMN GOOD AND THEIR LITTLE SMILES SPARE ME-

Cleo 🥵

I’m so excited to see her arc and what it brings this season you guys have no idea.

Please for the love of God be about to get Ward Cameron’s ass like he deserves literally punt him into jail right from Tanny Hill.

Sarah at My Druther’s with what looks like a bloody bandage on her side? Same outfit she’s wearing when they’re running from the police on the beach and she has the bandage there too so. Interesting.

Topper hugging who I’m pretty sure is Sarah, being a general douche because he’s clearly looking at John B like 😏

Clips like these serve to remind me just how many of my worldly posessions I would gladly give up to be able to punch Topper Thorton in the throat one time.

I think this is Cleo jumping off the boat with Pope after John B and Sarah.

Absolutely busting a lung at Pope’s form in this one.

John B and Sarah waiting in the life raft, still Cleo and Pope coming after them. The obvious next question is where are JJ and Kiara. The scene I’m sure you all have been waiting for is coming up and clearly takes place in the life raft as well.

So, I really think JJ and Kie get left for last, something horrible happens as they’re trying to jump (my head instantly goes to JJ maybe like pushing Kie out of the way and getting hit on the head instead or even just some accident).

And, oh my GOD a scene of him falling off the boat after it happens and Kiara diving in after him immediately, having to desperatly try to stop him from sinkingand get to the life raft holy shit-

Girl CATCH HIM?????

Because why wouldn’t this be Rafe’s fault. Part of me wonders if this isn’t related to JJ being hurt.

I am going to try and unpack this as calmly as possible because behind my computer screen I am vibrating at a frequency that could shatter glass but respectfully.

WHAT IN THE FUCK IS TIAUEWFHLAILA

Okay, so scene wise, JJ’s hit his head somehow (probably while he was jumping with Kiara) it looks like and now they’re back on the raft.

In my opinion, this is either:

A) JJ is in really, really bad condition after getting hurt in the jump and they’re not sure he’s going to make it. So this is a “Please stay with me, stay awake, please don’t die” hug OR

B) They very narrowly just avoided a deadly situation (my first thought is JJ hits his head while jumping, passes out in the water, maybe almost drowns but Kie and the others get him onto the life raft in time) and this is more of a “Oh my God, you’re okay, you’re safe now, we’re okay” hug.

I honestly lean more to the second one based on the little bit of Sarah’s face we saw in the background. To me, it almost looked like she was smiling thru tears, which, fits way more with the second option than the first.

Anyways. Moving on before I burst a lung again.

(also, before anyone comes at me, no, I’m not happy JJ is hurt, obviously.

(Once again, arrest outfits). You can still see the bandage but it looks like Sarah’s limping now too so...good Lord give the girl a break maybe?

Everything in this trailer just went to shit so fast I think I have whip lash, can we go back to the Pogues hanging out and being happy now pkease I liked those scenes.

“I get it. You guys are scared.”

“No.”

She’s cute but, uh, hello sewer scene outfits. Seems like them planning to do whatever the hell they were going to do in the sewers but the boys are starting to get cold feet as maybe they should but hind sight is 20/20 I suppose.

“It’s kind of cute.”

“I’m not scared.”

“You should’ve just led with that.”

I will never be able to express how much I adore Pogue banter and general dumbassery and I have a feeling this season will not be lacking in either department

I high key don’t think these two are actually going to be there for this scene to go down but I’ll let it slide this time because-

They do be kinda cute.

It both feels like I’ve been waiting for this damn show for 3 years and also like I just watched season 1 last month explain that to me.

Either way holy shit. I missed this dumb show and these dumb kids so much it physcially hurts and WE GET THEM BACK IN T-MINUS 16 DAYS.

Also. Where The Hell Is Wheezie Cameron And When Will She Have The Rights She Deserves.

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naralanis · 3 years

Note

hey nara! first off, I absolutely adore your blog and your writing, Perhaps is on my comfort fics list that I pull out whenever I’m having a bad time. I also happen to be a fan of your pen instagram and I was wondering if you had any suggestions on some fountain pens for beginners? I recently bought a “Pilot MR Retro Pop” that I really enjoy but I think I’m ready to branch off a bit. Do you have any tips with practicing with fountain pens you’d be willing to share? As much as I try, my handwriting never looks as nice as I want it to with mine. No pressure to respond if not, just wanted to stop by and let you know how much I enjoy your content! Hope you have a pleasant rest of your day/night!

Oh goodness, you’re talking about fic AND fountain pens in the same ask? Stop, stop, I’m already married!

First off, thanks for reading; I’m so glad Perhaps is there for you when ya need it, it makes me really happy to hear. Seriously warms my heart!

As far as fountain pens go... ANON I HAVE SO MANY THINGS TO TALK ABOUT I AM SO SORRY THIS WILL BE SUCH A LONG RIDE so I’m going to put it under the cut sorry sorry sorry in this essay I will

Hooray for the Pilot MR (or Metro, here in the US), it’s an AMAZING little pen, and if you’re calling it the MR, chances are you got it with an international standard converter, you lucky, lucky duck. I’m happy you’re enjoying it, as far as beginner pens go, this one is an excellent choice.

When you say “branching out”, this can mean one of two things. It can mean you want to branch out to other brands but a similar price range, or that you’re ready for a ‘next level’ pen. I’ll try to cover both! (I’ll link some of these models to the Goulet Pens website, but feel free to look for them elsewhere--I just really like Goulet’s very thorough descriptions)

If you’re looking to explore other pen models in the MR’s price range, there’s a metric ton of options! Sticking with Pilot, you can try the Explorer-- a completely different, more streamlined pen than the MR, but if you’re used to the nib on your pen, you have a better idea of what to expect with it. There’s also the Kakuno, which is cheaper, but very cute with its little smiley face nibs haha

Another Japanese pen you can try: the Platinum Plaisir. Aluminum body, but do remember that Platinum nibs generally give a little more feedback than Pilot’s, which are some of the smoothest Japanese-made nibs I’ve ever seen.

You can also try the Diplomat Magnum -- it’s a a great little pen, and I love mine. Keep in mind, it is very lightweight, especially compared to the MR’s metal body, but to me that makes it great for long writing sessions. The nib is completely different--it will write a little wider, a little wetter than the MR (and any other Japanese-made pen), but it’s slightly springy and awesome to write with. Plus, it has an ink window so you can keep track of your ink!

Other options in this price range: the Jinhao 8802 (Shell or Rosewood, and the most bang for your buck imo as far as cheap fountain pens go), the Jinhao x750 or x450 (these are heavier, but they look great!), the TWISBI GO (a teeny, amazing little pen with a spring-loaded piston filling mechanism), and a Kaweco Sport (another pocket-pen, German-made, so the nib will write a little wetter/wider generally) or the Perkeo.

Now, if you’d like to push your price range a little further (only a little! I promise not to break the bank!), you cannot go wrong with Lamy.I am a self-admitted Lamy fangirl, so I may be a little biased, buuuut... it is what it is, their pens are great, they’re easy to disassemble for cleaning (I go totally nuts over it and even disassemble the converters, which you absolutely don’t need to do), and their nibs are SO EASILY INTERCHANGEABLE!

You can pick up a Lamy Safari for fairly cheap nowadays (and ever cheaper look-alikes, which I will never endorse but also will not judge anyone for buying), and they come in so many colours (the O.G. 1980 colours were also just reissued!), they’re like my Pokemon because I want to catch ‘em all.

For a little more, you can get yourself a Lamy AL-Star--the same design of the Safari, but this time in aluminum, which makes it look super cool (but also prone to scratches if you’re the kind of person that puts your pen in your pocket with your keys... that’s... definitely not me...), so keep that in mind.

You can also pick yourself up a Lamy Logo, for a couple more bucks. A completely different design, but still great, particularly if you like slimmer pens.

The nibs on ALL the Lamy models (even the more expensive ones like the Studio or the Scala or even the Dialog) are interchangeable! Even the gold nib on the Dialog! The only exception is the Lamy 2000 (which is probably one of the best pens out there period, and certainly an amazing first-gold-nib pen).

The one thing that absolutely kills me about the cheaper Lamy pens is that, for the most part, none of them come with a converter--you have to buy it separately. Which is fine, it’s not super expensive, and it is widely available, but COME ON, LAMY, JUST GIMME.

If you’d like to try a cool-looking pen with a CRAZY ink capacity and a nifty piston-filling mechanism, look no further than the TWISBI ECO. I have one of these (green, obv), and I love it. Never tires me out, and I stg mine never. dries. out. I don’t know what witchcraft is involved, but it’s an amazing pen for long writing sessions.

Finally, if you’d like to try another Japanese-made pen that is a little more expensive than the Pilot MR or the Platinum Plaisir, there’s the Sailor Compass 1911. This is one of the cheapest Sailor pens I know of, and a good introduction to the brand. Keep in mind that, like Platinum, Sailor nibs will give more feedback than the Pilot you’re used to!

If you would like to push your budget even further, here are some options for fountain pens under $100 (I know, big jump, but it’s good to see what’s out there to you can compare!) from JetPens.

There are a million other brands out there that you can look at. Sheaffer makes great, very cheap and fun beginner pens (including a whole Star Wars Line! They’re adorable!). Hong Dian has a ton of pens that look sleek as hell (like the Forest Series) and they’re all like under 20 bucks. Kaco is another one that makes surprisingly good pens! Parker is also an option, with the Jotter, which is a classic-looking pen. There’s Conklin and Monteverde (which have a ton of fountain pens in a wide range of prices, but I’ve had bad luck with their nibs, so I would suggest you do some independent research on those!), as well as Noodler’s if you’d like to go crazy with some flex nibs! The fountain pen rabbit hole is bottomless. Welcome :D

As far as handwriting goes, I’m afraid I don’t have much more to say besides practice, practice, practice. I learned cursive as a child, but never got into calligraphy, really. Even today, I only just dabble, but whenever I see something I like, I usually just like to try and replicate it. Very often I’ll see a video on Instagram and go Oh my god, how the hell did they write that G, I’ve got to try that and then what follows is me going through page after page on a Rhodia pad trying to imitate them. I like janinescribbles and aidanbernal on Instagram, they’re like handwriting goals--check them out!

A lot of the time, we’re looking for more line variation to make our handwriting look prettier--that’s usually what you see in that fancy, old-timey Spencerian cursive, or even copperplate calligraphy. Unfortunately, you won’t get that with just a regular fountain pen, but there is good news!

There are a TON of different nibs out there. Stub nibs, fude nibs, flex nibs, obliques, cursive italic -- you can even get your pen ground by a professional nibmeister to fit your specifications. There are calligraphy pens (like the Lamy Joy) or pen sets (Kaweco has a Perkeo Calligraphy set, and I believe Sailor has one of their own as well). You can even check out the Pilot Parallel set -- the whole thing is like the price of a Lamy AL-Star, you just won’t do regular writing with it; it’s pretty specifically a calligraphy/lettering set. There are even flex pens in the market (though none of them are as flexy as those old, vintage gold nibs) like the Noodler’s Nib Creaper, Ahab, and Triple Tail or the Conklins with their Omniflex nib (which has been problematic in the past, but I’ve heard good things recently). It’s a whole other rabbit hole!

But honestly, don’t sweat the handwriting too much. Just write a few lines every day, try new things, and get lost for eternity on some Instagram tags!

I think this is a long enough post as it is, so I’ll stop there! SORRY. HOPE IT HELPS!

#ask naralanis and maybe she will deign to respond #anon #fountain pens #fountain pen network #fountain pen geeks #fic writing #cissamione #and all the weird things that overlap in this godforsaken blog

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incorrectly-quoted-queers · 4 years

Text

Drunk Punch Love: INTERMISSION ARCHANGEL

Pairing: FemShep and Garrus Vakarian (Shakarian)

Rating: PG-13 (with some tossed F-bombs)

Summary: Their awkward, badass journey through saving the galaxy and accidentally falling in love

INTERMISSION ARCHANGEL: 143 Days

Garrus enjoyed the setup for jobs, and boy did he love the payoff, but there was one part that could really grind his plates.

The waiting.

To keep the crew safe and take the mercs off guard, they always got the right intel to set the gangs up. They'd make a killbox, lure them in, and use everything in their arsenal to knock 'em out before they even knew what was happening.

This hit, they were freeing an Asari captive from Eclipse. Well, she used to be one of them. But when Alla wanted out, Eclipse made it... difficult for her. The mercs were taking her out to this dock to be spaced, and Garrus and the team were waiting to stop that.

With them was Alla's half-brother, Oliver. His human mother had an affair with Alla's Eclipse mother when Ollie was a few years old. He didn't know about her until his mom was on her deathbed. Inconvenient timing, since just about the same time Eclipse almost got Alla killed, prioritizing a cash drop over her safety.

The night she was packing was the night Ollie called her on the extranet, and during their call Eclipse took her. Within the hour, Ollie quit his military post in the Alliance, because he'd be damned if he let his baby sister die.

So there they were, waiting, hiding in the overhang of the space dock and a few other key vantage points.

As far as their intel went, there was supposed to be a whole squad overseeing her execution, to make sure things went right. Apparently Alla knew too much for it to be any other way.

But once Eclipse got there, Garrus and co. would make sure to change that plan.

For now, they just twiddled their goddamn thumbs. Butler, his cover fire next to him, went real twitchy when he got bored.

Over the comms, though, he could tell a few others were getting antsy, too. Ollie most of all. "Christ, what if they bring her in her gear and there's other Asari? We can't shoot the wrong one."

Garrus tried to bring some levity. "Via, we just won't shoot the one who doesn't have a gun and isn't shooting at us. It'll be okay."

Butler added, "Anyway, Eclipse wouldn't have kept her in their gear. Trust me. I know." The scowl that Butler got made Garrus curious, but it probably wasn't the best time to ask. Anyway, it was easy to guess that this wasn't Nikolai's first Eclipse execution.

Much better at trying to keep spirits up, Sidonis piped in. "Hey, we got this, Via. We set up traps, hacked the doors, have some flash bangs and anti-biotic ammo. This is going to be a clean rescue. You'll get to meet your sister."

Ryel chuckled on the other end. "Hope you like her. If you didn't that'd be awkward." Garrus almost growled. Ryel could be a little shit sometimes.

"When we talked, she was ready to try to be a family. I don't give a shit if it was just because she wanted asylum. That's enough." Via sighed and added, "Anyway, I could see elcor theatre posters in her room. My mom loved them, too."

"Who would pay to see an elcor act?" Danit didn't seem as moved or amused as everyone else.

Gibbon cut in. "It's a matter of sentimentality for Oliver. When one misses a person, they attach to familiar memories. Though elcor acting is banal, his mother and Alla share the interest and therefore ties his sentimentality to both women."

"I think he was asking about the elcor part, not what it meant." Butler chuckled next to him. "But people like weird shit. My Nalah likes-"

"Hanar music, we know." Jawth was grumbling, but his voice got quieter as he added, "My brother used to have a pet Varren. Makes me bitter sometimes to shoot 'em."

"And Sidonis has all those old comic books. And Danit has his puzzlebox from his father. And Gibbon has his old STG tags, but just because he got to burn them. We all have our sentimental bullshit. Now stop crying or you idiots will set off my traps." Ro wasn't exactly one for these conversations, and Garrus wasn't surprised by his outburst.

But luckily, no one gave a shit about his crankiness. Ryel instead just continued talking. "I used to have a friend when I was a kid, an army brat. When my family was helping the Alliance, she didn't treat me like an alien freak. I still have the bracelet she gave me when I left. She called it Kolodochka, whatever the hell that means."

Garrus was getting flashbacks to all of Shepard's random dialect inserts. "Wait, isn't that Russian?"

"No clue." Looking at Butler, the man also shrugged. Great, so now he had a weird part of his brain collecting and flipping through Shepard memories, and no one had any answers for him. He could feel the back of his neck heating up, wondering if she had ties to Ryel. Didn't she tell him, on Noveria, that she kissed a Drell in a closet or something? Ryel interrupted his thoughts, though. "Why do you ask?"

Caught way off guard at this point, words just starting spilling out of his mouth. "I don't know a lot about human culture, but I had a... friend whose mother was from Russia. It came up a lot. She even danced ballet to classic Russian music when she was stressed- wait, Spirits, she wouldn't want me talking about that."

Across the line, Ro snorted. "Sounds like Garrus had a Russian girlfriend. That's a surprise."

Okay, he was officially over all this conversation. "Don't have a thing for humans, Ro. Now get it together before you pop the suit laughing and ruin your own traps." Everyone was quickly distracted by his joke, and started talking low about their strategies and who made what better thing.

But next to him, Butler cut his comms and asked, "But you did like her, didn't you?"

Garrus was not about to deal with this shit again. "No. Now focus on the mission."

"C'mon, I'm the married one. If anyone gets it, I do. What was her name?"

Throughout his skull, Shepard's name started beating like an unstoppable drum. And he didn't need that right now, not when he was moving forward with his life. He was supposed to be moving forward. That's what you did when you lost people, and he couldn't keep falling into traps and looking back.

He couldn't keep looking back for her. She wasn't coming back.

"Butler, I'm not asking you again."

"Garrus, you don't-"

Before he could say another word, there was a crash down below. Over comms, Danit's monotone voice was a pitch or two higher. "Where the hell did they come from? The door wasn't triggered."

Using the sights on his sniper, Garrus pin-pointed an equally shocked looking woman. She was steadying herself, tan skin sweaty, a smirk on her lips despite the clear tension in her muscles. In her hand was a detonator. Shit.

Standing up, he had to act fast. Yelling down from his vantage point he said, "I don't know how the hell you got in here, but you're surrounded. Put the detonator down and nobody has to get hurt."

"Without this detonator, you're going to get hurt." He thought his spot was well hidden, but she tossed it up his way. It sailed with a lot more force than he thought a human arm was capable of. "You brought the wrong one."

Garrus grabbed the one she gave him and sent Gibbon a concerned look. After a quick look in his pack, Gibbon looked more alarmed than he did. "Shit. She's right."

"We can talk about you forgetting our detonator later." Looking down at the strange woman on the space dock floor, he asked, "Thanks? But how'd you know-"

"It's better you don't ask questions. Especially since your target will be here any second now. Just stay alive, Mr. Vakarian." She started to run towards the exit, but then added, "If you ever run into me again, name's Sam." And then before she hit the door, she disappeared completely.

Jawth was the first to say, "Why the hell don't we have that tech?"

They started to bicker about it, whether it be about the science behind it or the fact she didn't trigger a single trap. But Garrus was more concerned about the fact she found them and that there was a chance they could run into her again.

If they didn't have the right detonator, in theory the job would've still worked. In theory, she didn't need to come, whatever she was. But maybe she knew something they didn't.

Before he could even get a word in, join in on the confusion or hype, the doors started to open across the space dock. He shoved Butler's head back down and got behind cover. "Get down and shut up, we're about to have company."

And what company it was.

It was more than their contact told them; three squadrons and even a mech, loaned from the Blue Suns. Without Gibbon's explosives, they might've lost some people trying to fight it out. Whoever the mysterious "Sam" was, she helped save their asses.

But chatter about the disappearing woman was overruled by getting the dangerously weak Alla back to base and realizing they were making bigger splashes than ever before.

In some ways, it was thrilling, knowing they were getting this far underneath the mercs' skin. Others? They had some powerful targets on their backs. While he felt a little cynical and sour about the situation, Sidonis was much more positive. While they watched Butler's doctor wife patch Ollie's sister up, he said, "They've started noticing us, Garrus."

"I'm pretty sure they always noticed us."

"No, you don't get it. They expect shit to go haywire sometimes, or that a rando might play hero. But we're doing more than that now." Sidonis shook his head, looking at the people around the room, like he was in awe. "They hear us now and they're scared. Scared enough to bring 3 squadrons to an execution they heard we might raid."

Sidonis patted his back and walked out of the room. No matter how grumpy he wanted to be, Garrus had to admit Sidonis was right. This meant they were changing things.

But that didn't mean he had to feel secure about it quite yet. What he needed to do was prepare for the pushback. Sidonis could be their silver lining guy; Garrus was there to keep them alive.

And dammit, he was not about to lose anyone just because they wanted to save lives and some asshole decided to snuff them out. Not again.

It was time for some upgrades.

///

Now, this is going to be weird for me so bear with me. Time to hype up the patron aspect of this all. Patronage helps me spend more time on my writing and interactions with you guys, as well as get closer to my goal of making a super creative Twitch channel (gaming, write with me, fun readings). For the lowest tier ($1), you guys get access to my T-Day Blogs talking about my stories and ideas and future plans, access to a fandom-friendly discord, and vote on the monthly "beach episode" for Drunk Punch Love.

Other tiers include early chapter access, OC cameos, favorite mission inclusion, thank you shout outs, and even one shots of your choosing. If you have some coin to spare, I'll be forever appreciative. If not, don't worry about it, the story will continue because I love it just as much as you guys.

If you want to check out said patron options, please check out my bio or the accounts below:

Patreon: patreon.com/gracejordan

Twitter: (at)Steph_Marceau

Wattpad: user/GraceJordan13

As always, thank you so much to my patrons:

Danyell Jones

Amy Connolly

#Drunk Punch Love #Shakarian #femshep x garrus #Garrus Vakarian #Anya Shepard #Intermission: Archangel #Lantar Sidonis #mass effect fanfiction #Mass effect 2 #bioware romances

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lewyn-martell · 5 years

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rules: answer 21 questions and tag 21 people you want to know better

tagged by @laurels-things thanks! you seem like such a nice person!

i. nickname?

lui or simply lu

ii. zodiac sign?

scorpio

iii. height?

165 cm... I'm not sure if I'm below average height on my country, but I believe brazillian people are pretty short. I may be the shortest amongst the boys in my class but I'm the tallest amongst the girls (except one girl who is nearly 180cm i stg) and as a nonbinary person this is a good place to be, i think.

iv. hogwarts house?

hufflepuff :D

v. last thing I googled?

amongst or among — i was unsure if i was using the word correctly sjbshsbshsvs

vi. fav musicians?

THE BEATLES (all 4 of them, but john lennon speaks to my soul in ways i can't describe... the way he makes me feel is something out of this world)

david bowie

elton john

brendon urie from panic! at the disco

the boys from green day

aaand i have mad respect for some soundtrack musicians bc i eat these up constantly. i like ramin djwadi, michael giacchino, ennio morricone, danny elfman, jonny greenwood (yeah i know he's from radiohead but i haven't listened a lot of stuff from this band yet and his phantom thread compositions are SUCH A BOP), hans zimmer and i've been also listening to the score of the shape of water by alexandre desplat (i like him, but jonny greenwood was ROBBED) so maybe that'll be a future fave. also i love a lot of composers for disney animated musicals but if i start i won't ever shut up. but i love almost all of the disney soundtracks.

i would say some time ago whoever wrote the songs for the smiths which i believe includes morrisey, but i recently found out he is extremely right wing and i don't think i can still like someone with these kinds of inhumane views on people&society... i'm disappointed

vii. song stuck in your head?

currently bad boy (the beatles' cover of the song), john's vocals make my pulse speed up since the first verse

viii. following?

2234 nfbdjdbjdsbjshs but i think most of the people i followed years ago are no longer active, i must go through the list and try to do a spring cleaning or something

ix. followers?

408... and like half of these i gained only the last two months or something... and i don't know why shdbsjbshsbs maybe it's the beatles thing

x. do you get asks?

i don't, but that's ok because i don't know if i have a lot of interesting things to say... but if you wanna get something off your chest, go ahead, i love to listen to/read drama 👀

xi. amount of sleep?

tricky question because it constantly changes, sometimes i don't sleep at all bc i have to leave the house at 5h20 in the morning to go to uni and i stay awake until late and when i realize i have to go shower already dhsbshbshsvshs and then when i come back i sleep for like... 10 hours or smth or i don't bc i got stuff to do and i accumulate sleep and then there will be a day of the week i'll just shut down for 15 hours. mostly i try to go to bed around 23h and wake up around 4h45, so that makes it almost 6 hours .

xii. lucky number?

never noticed any particular number that favors me

xiii. what are you wearing?

t-shirt, shorts, it's hot as hell here

xiv. dream job?

don't have one, just want one that won't consume me so i have time to do stuff i'm actually interested in

xv. dream trip?

also don't have one

xvi. instruments?

flute, some percussion, some guitar, i wish i had actually studied music besides the basic stuff... i still wanna learn to properly play something and not just beat some bongos during carnival

xvii. languages?

portuguese, english, bit of spanish only cause of the similarities with portuguese and 4 years of classes in middle school...but still, can't speak or write, only read and listen

xviii. favorite songs?

oh my god... ok...

i was making this in list format but it got way too big... it's still big i'm sorry

the beatles: i want you (she's so heavy), strawberry fields forever, across the universe, oh! darling, and your bird can sing, tomorrow never knows, mother nature's son, yer blues, golden slumbers, i am the walrus, i me mine, long tall sally (little richard cover), you can't do that, what you're doing, ticket to ride, rain, eleanor rigby, happiness is a warm gun, i'm so tired, blue jay way, for you blue, in my life, anna go to him (cover).

david bowie: time, cygnet committee, unwashed and somewhat slightly dazed, tvc15, life on mars, young americans, queen bitch

panic! at the disco: that green gentleman, she had the world, build god then we'll talk, nearly witches, emperor's new clothes, bittersweet, nine in the afternoon, northern downpour, behind the sea, stall me, the piano knows something i don't know

green day: jesus of suburbia, brutal love, hitchin a ride, blood sex and booze, give me novacaine, whatsername, last night on earth

the smiths: this charming man, panic, how soon is now

elton john: goodbye yellow brick road, bennie and the jets, rocket man

queen: somebody to love, killer queen

strawberry swing - coldplay

welcome home - radical face

joão e maria - chico buarque

barbara rose - jonny greenwood

bachianas brasileiras no 5 - heitor villa-lobos

le festin - michael giacchino, camille

rains of castamere - ramin djwadi

unchained melody - a lot of versions from a lot of artists

another day - paul mccartney

meu erro - paralamas do sucesso

flor de lis - djavan

love the way you lie - rihanna&eminem

man! i feel like a woman - shania twain

xix. random fact?

well, it's not really a fact i think... i'm moving (again) but this time is to my father's house because my mum is moving to the south of the country... and i'm so fucking scared because we aren't close at all (i met him when i was 14) i mean, he seems nice enough, all of our interactions have been mostly pleasant but his wife (and probably he himself too) is a bit conservative in the brazillian traditional white family way (she's white cause she's a southern. i know yall think all latinos are poc,,,, but that's not true) but then again, that's something i had to live with all my life so i can handle casual homophobia and racism and sexism... but it will still be so weird cause i never been away from my mum too long (i'm... a momma's boy). i'm going next week i think, wish me luck.... (also he's got two dogs who won't leave me the fuck alone, i get out of the shower and they drool all over me, they know i'm a beta so they keep getting on top of me and since they're HUGE and i'm such a weakling i can't even get them off me and i can't scold them with a strong voice, i just can't do it... i mean, don't get me wrong i like them... but... they like me way too much and keep making me dirty.. i hate being dirty)

xx. aesthetic?

farm aesthetic..... idealistic farm aesthetic habshabaha like marie antoinette's pettit chateau. also the whole pretty odd aesthetic and strawberry swing by coldplay aesthetic

i'm tagging (probably less than 21 ppl) @zutaralesbian @ekscelsior @benstolemyhearty @lannistermartell @tyrionlannysters @avatars-legend @cerseiofhouselannister @falconsredwing @gendryayaya @glittering-snowfall @agirlandabeast @bugband @alittlebigpotato @vairemelde @charmeilon @jawn-lemon @antilennon @im-only-sweeping @ssimsass

i hope tumblr actually notifies you guys, i had problems with the last one...

#nfr #abt me #long post

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hypaalicious · 7 years

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Fanfic Writer's Appreciation Day

I started this before work and had to wait 8 hours before continuing and Tumblr deleted half my fucking work because I kept doing new drafts every time I stopped to think about someone else to spew great things about so trying to remember all of who I tagged and what I said is failing me and I’m SO PISSED RN

*breathes*

So many of you have tagged me and I’m like, blessedt. I am inconsistent, perpetually distracted, and extra when it comes to when and what I’ll write and I wish I was better for y'all all the time, but my muse and life is what it is. Thank you for appreciating me.

I love all of the fanfic creators for daring to love a thing so much that they put their blood, sweat, tears, hopes and dream into a liturgy that encompasses the very best of their appreciation, and often goes unnoticed or is taken advantage of. Please continue to be great, share your heart with the world, and take joy and pride in your work.

You know I’ll be here forever mentioning people that I’m half loathe to do because I don’t want anyone I don’t mention feeling like they matter less or that I don’t care, because I honestly do. But if I stop to think about all the fanfic authors I’ve come to know and love I’ll freak out and never actually make this post at all, and I’d feel worse off for it. Nobody was obligated at all to show me any love on this day, and I’m blessed that you did and I shower you with love in return.

But the day is also about leaving at least one personalized thanks to a fanfic writer for being awesome and writing things for free that certainly deserve all the money ever, and I don’t wanna make a generalized cop out post, soooo CUE THE MOST INCOMPLETE LIST OF RANDOM PRAISE FOR A FEW FOLKS

@rhomphaya - Yes girl, you count. You sent me a damn BDSM/kink encyclopedia and I read that shit from cover to cover and got my mind blown. We dragged 50 shades together. AND NOW YOU STILL OUTCHEA AND WE END UP IN THE SAME FANDOM CIRCLES GIRL ILU has it been like 10 years? Holy shit

@diabolik-trash-heap - I know you haven’t written anything lately, but honestly you are the Queen of Kink for a reason. Your fics always got me going like, “… alright then I guess this is a new kink? WHAT IS MY LIFE?” You are synonymous with kink in my head and if it’s not you unlocking darker desires in me then it just feels wrong. I’m so happy I get to call you a bff.

@louisvuittontrashbags - BITCH IF YOU DON’T LEAVE MY COOTER ALONE WITH YA GODDAMB TREDD AND DRAUTOS STUFF I STG. I feel like I’ve kinda watch you evolve from the purest vanilla to the dirtiest of… French vanilla, LMAO! Honestly, both you and Dia Berta stop doubting your writing because it only gets better, and me and the fandom is blessed to have you in it.

@themissimmortal - Lionheart. That’s all I gotta say, because since then I went from curiously intrigued by Cor to getting kicked in the ass and tumbling all the way down that rabbit hole to end up in his lap. FINE. FIIIINNNEEEE. But frfr Moosh, ilu and your writing that can range from angst to raunchy asf.

@alicemoonwonderland - if Moosh dragged me into Cor hell, then this chick gonna drag me into Regis hell and put me on blast about it because she’s an evil cooter destroyer that also came up with demon!Ignis that I would gladly sell my soul to for nothing other than a full body nut because YOLO. She delves into mythological ideology in her smut and I love that concept and I preemptively accept all the hells shes gonna drag me through as a result.

@sonsoflucis - that priest!Ignis fic is literally going to haunt me for the rest of my days. Bout to have me re-converting to Catholicism up in hurr. Tay-bae also slays cooters with any character she chooses to wield in her writing (I.e. Sean Paul’s Tingy Dingy), which means she is truly exceptional.

@ka-za-ri - Flangst. She does it beautifully. She writes like Chinese calligraphy and it makes me weep in its perfection. Idk why she praises my trash when she can paint worlds with her words that encompass so much more, but I am so blessedt that Ao3 existed so that we could connect.

@thirdstreetcettin - Fellow Ignis hoe, who writes things that make me scream at my phone and want to throw it (I probably have thrown it; I have a case and a ballistic glass screen protector for a reason LOL). I love this girl so much and I’m so happy whenever she writes the Good Shit.

@ignis-scientia-estrogen-brigade - TDYFKVKHXGFJFJGKGIDYSDFK yep that about sums up my feels for this awesome lady and her art that matches her impeccable writing style. She is a sinpai that blessed me with fanart that made me wanna lie in the middle of the casino floor and expire.

@dirtyffxvconfession - AYYYEEEEE look you don’t write anything but you don’t have to, because you pretty much are the catalyst in which so many people’s thirst find completion. Your continuous support, banter, and tags make everyone’s day, and you’re overall the sweetest and coolest person in Germany. APFELPISS 4 LYFE (I’m sorry I swear I’ll stop this one day)

@dawne-sharlotte - Um? She killed my cooter with her debut of a black f!reader x Ignis fic? She CONTINUES to kill my cooter with all of her fics, reader insert or not? How dare she? BUT I LOVE HER SO MUCH OKAY LIKE, SHE OUT HERE DOING THAT SHIT LIKE WHOA

@insomniascure - The sis with an Ignis and Balthier thirst that makes me feel like I got an actual sister. Every time she appears in my feed or on Discord I stg my face just lights up like “BRIOONNN” and I’m such a fucking dork for it, I know. But I’m hella attached, I’ll admit it.

@mistressoli - Speaking of attached… I’m hella hooked on this bae right here. Will ship Oli and Dr. Amicitia till the end of days, and I always bite my fingernails when she’s gone for awhile. She’s also one of the most genuine people I know. I will always be here as I can for her and her muse.

@atarostarling - Every time I talk to this chick, I’m like, “bitch we don’t talk enough” in my head, because she’s lit. We also must take over the world with the Word of Ignis Scientia, so imagine us as those folks that walk around the neighborhood in pairs knocking on doors while people pretend they ain’t home, LOL!

@blindbae - I know she’s not active anymore on Tumblr, but Jules is still the shit. Her fics are masterpieces and her presence is sorely missed. Plz check out her Masterlist of awesome if you haven’t already, fam~

@demnocts - So, I wasn’t even aware that he had been fucking me up with bottom!Noct goodness before I followed him on Tumblr, since Dia had linked me to a few of his Ao3 fics that have since converted me to the glory that is Noct getting fucked in every way possible. Bless.

@zimmer2d - I haven’t thanked you enough for the “choose your own fuckage” fic you wrote for my trash ass on my birthday. No one has ever done something like that before for me and I’m rather touched by the sentiment and of course, DAT IGNIS DIIIYUUCK

@iwantedtobeadored - QUEEN NOCTIS QUEEN NOCTIS QUEEN NOCTIS I WILL NEVER FORGET THIS AU THAT GOT ME SHOOKEDT, so aka you’re never gonna be rid of me, too bad for you sis LOLOLOLOLOLOL

@saphscribes - …That One Ignis Fic. Forever. I will never stop talking about it. I will never forgive you for Keep What Remains, either. I will curse you in the most loving way possible for all of that.

@cupnoodle-queen - Focus is probably still my fave, because I have forever lost a piece of my cooter to the idea of having a photo shoot with Ignis and Prompto joining in and HNNNGGGG, queen of cup noodles, queen of smut, queen of word counts, IT DON’T MATTER; her shit gets all the praise.

@poisonous-panda - So… your Ardyn smut. You keep that shit up, because it’s great and thought I am but a temporary voyeur into Ardyn hell, I do know that if he calls, I will cum. Come. …uh… either or, idk, GUUD JERB FAM

@thechocoboexpress - and the fandom’s most underrated fanfic writer award goes to Jo in my mind, because her perspective on Ardyn and his backstory is just phenomenal. She’s so imaginative and supportive, and idk if the fandom is even ready for her stuff, lol!

@foreverythingisnotlost - GFUU, MY BFF OF OVER TWENTY YEARS, hey you know what I’m still waiting on? The conclusion of Leather Skin, cause I loved it so much that I stole your OC and put him in my own FFVIII fanfic and ganked your HCs on Irvine’s past and character development. Also, LV and I will patiently wait for your circus AU involving Iris and Gladio. :D

@fluffysmutkitten - HI THERE. You’ve wrecked me a couple times with your stuff, and I have not forgotten. You’re also an absolute joy to chat with on Discord, and every time someone calls you Kitten I automatically substitute Ignis’s voice so it’s like he’s always calling you. IT’S SO CUTE

@nyxswaifu - … idk why but I feel like after you wrecked me with Gladnis spam weeks ago that we have this strange connection; I’m probably making this up. But idc, I’m really fond of you and your tattoos (YES FOR GRAMMATICALLY CORRECT CHINESE) and I hope you never change. Frfr. *hugs* And if you do actually end up on Discord I hope to see you around!

@vashiane - Another sista out here slaying the fanfic game and everyone’s cooters. In Discord, if I see her typing for a very long time, then I actually get nervous. Like, you know the feeling that you get when you’re going up the first hill of a roller coaster? Knowing the first drop will simultaneously destroy you but give you all the life? That’s her spontaneous HCs

@xnoctits - It’s a shame we don’t converse all that much because she’s the other half of the dynamic duo with Brion and is so hilarious to see on my feed. I’ve cracked up too many times at work scrolling her extra asf tags and declining to explain to anyone who asks why reading her thirsty declaration of how badly she’d let Noct destroy her has me wheezing

@cagedbycravings - I know we just recently became mutuals, and I’m so sorry that we were not before because WHAT IS THIS TREASURE TROVE I FEEL LIKE A CREEPER BROWSING YOUR TAGS TO FIND MORE. I’m calm. Hi. You write good. :D *nervous laughter*

@bleucommelhiver - So, your solo Nyx fic? That’s going to be “that one fic” for me in regards to you, so just be prepared. I loved it and I can’t wait to read more from you.

@wolfgoddess77 - *whispers* Ignis can fuck me in a cave for warmth any day of the year, I’d actually permanently lock us in that damn ice cave until we fucked ourselves to death because OF YOUR FIC. *breathes* So yes, I have appreciation for that and your long Nyx one that I didn’t even feel the word count on, how do you manage to even do this?

#god I'm so nervous posting this #this literally took me 12 hours to compile and post #yeah on the dot #that's sad #why can't I be more complete AND more efficient #lordt #anyway I love all of y'all #even the ones Tumblr mobile deleted on me #and the ones I will kick myself for not giving a shout out to because I'm scatterbrained #please forgive me #I'm actually thinking too hard on this let me just post #yeppp #fanfic author appreciation day

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