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#ghost x gender neutral reader
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Fallen God!Ghost
This is a masterlist of all of the Fallen God!Ghost Drabbles. This reader is gender neutral.
Ghost's Fall and Meeting You
Putting Ghost in His Place
Ghost Slowly Getting Feelings for You
Lesson Learned
Home Again
This is a complete list and will most likely not be expanded upon!
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obsessivelullabies · 3 months
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seeing simon’s face for the first time.
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simon was anxious to show you what his face was. he swore to himself the next time he opened himself to someone would be during his autopsy. until he met you.
you changed everything. his whole life began to revolve around you. he adored you. he constantly worried if you felt the same. simon’s a confident man, he wasn’t ugly - far from it, but he worried about what taking off the mask symbolized.
late at night, you two stayed up in bed, talking mindlessly. simon had promised to show you his face tonight. you waited patiently for him. you knew that no matter what simon looked like, you would love him.
as the conversation dulled, simon took a deep breath and silently slipped off the mask. you stared at his face in pure awe and adoration. he was perfect to you.
immediately, you nuzzled your nose against his, pressing your lips onto his, savoring the taste and feel of his lips. simon drew your body closer to him.
as you pulled away, you don’t know when you teared up, you babbled your next words, “si..”
“yes, lovie?” he whispered.
“i never would’ve guessed you were blonde,” you choked out through tears.
simon simply chuckled in response, kissing you once again.
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i’ve studied and practiced my english for YEARS and NO ONE told me gargled was not a term for speaking. /nm
masterlist! | requests are open. | comments and reblogs appreciated.
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midnightcrw · 6 months
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Fight
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Pairing: Ghost x Reader, Price x Reader, Soap x Reader, Gaz x Reader
Summary: Your child gets in trouble
a/n: This one is a little different from my usual ones, but I just felt like writing for all four of them. I'm not sure how accurate you'll all find them as I've deliberately exaggerated them, but I do believe that Gaz is a sassy man after seeing how he didn't want to shake Graves' hand. I've also named the children of the TF141, I hope that's okay with you all.
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Scenario:
The moment you both heard that your child got in trouble, the first thing you two did was rush into the principal's office in fear that something happened.
And now you were both sitting in the principal's office with your child, while another child was there with his parents.
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Ghost:
Your eyes widened as you heard the principal say that Daisy and another girl in her class had gotten into a physical fight.
"There was also something your daughter said that is completely unacceptable," Mr. Smith said, looking disappointed at Daisy, even though the girl apparently started the fight and your daughter was just defending herself.
"It wasn't even that bad..." Daisy muttered underneath her breath as she crossed her arms.
Simon was very quiet, but his stoic expression spoke for itself.
"Daisy, I want you to quote what you said," Mr. Smith continued, not wanting to hear another word from her unless she quoted exactly what she said to the girl.
Your daughter looked at you, a pleading look on her face but you just shook your head at her in disappointment, wanting to hear what she said.
She sighed and quoted what she had said before, "You have a face that only a mother could love."
Without missing a single beat, Simon started wheezing in his seat the moment he heard his daughter's insult to the girl.
You glared at him, "Simon!"
Trying to calm down, he put his palm on his mouth as he continued, completely ignoring the angry looks of the principal and the other family.
"Mr. Riley, I want you to calm down. This is highly inappropriate," Mr. Smith said as Simon calmed down.
A few seconds of silence passed between you all before your beloved husband opened his mouth.
"Did you win?"
"Simon!?"
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Price:
It felt like hours as the girl's parents and the girl herself ranted and raved about the fact that your daughter Sophie punched her.
At first you had both been shocked, completely angry at your daughter until the parents opened their mouths to speak.
You almost fell asleep listening to the mother go on and on about how her daughter's nose was bleeding because of Sophie.
Price, on the other hand, sat still in his seat, listening to the whole thing, not having said a word since he walked into the principal's office.
"Your daughter should be suspended!" The father said, glaring at Sophie.
Mr. Smith didn't even get a single chance to say anything, as they continued.
Slowly, Price seemed to lose his patience and turned his head towards you and your daughter.
He whispered, "Punch her harder next time."
"What?" The principal asks.
"Nothing."
Price says as Sophie giggles at her dad.
You tried to stifle your grin by putting a hand over your mouth, just hoping that the parents would shut up soon.
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Soap:
Your son sat between the two of you, his nose bleeding and his face bruised as he frowned at the boy and his parents.
You were extremely worried as you put a hand on your son, Callum's arm, and quietly asked him if he was hurt anywhere else.
Callum just shook his head, not wanting to speak while Soap was already getting bored listening to all of the talking the principal was doing.
"It doesn't matter if he started insulting him because Callum was the one who got violent," Mr. Smith said as you tried to defend your son.
The boy obviously looked much worse than Callum. His hair was disheveled and his face was bruised. His nose was also bleeding, as was his lower lip.
It looked like your son had done some damage.
"What exactly did he do?" Soap asked, wanting to know exactly how Callum had hit the boy.
As Mr. Smith explained what your son had done, Soap's eyes lit up and a smile appeared on his face.
"I'm so proud of you, you used the punch I taught you," Soap said, extremely pleased that Callum had listened and actually used the things he had taught him.
Callum grinned at his dad's antics as you put your face in your hands, sighing and muttering "Why did I marry this idiot..."
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Gaz:
You were shocked to hear what your son, Ethan, had done to the boy.
Mr. Smith was obviously upset and angry that Ethan had acted so childishly, and immediately got into a physical fight the moment the boy wouldn't stop insulting him.
You felt the headache already pounding in your head as you rubbed your temple, completely out of it.
Ethan didn't really say anything, he just listened to everything that was said.
The boy's parents glared at the three of you, never once looking away.
The boy that insulted your son, looked angry, obviously still being pissed at the fact that Ethan punched him, even though he himself started with the insults.
Gaz was not even shocked, sitting there with his hand holding up his head up as he looked extremely uninterested in the principal's endless speech.
Rolling his eyes, Gaz moved closer to you and Ethan as he whispered.
"Did you break any of his bones?"
"No."
"Good, because I'm not paying anything in this economy."
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naivegh0ul · 6 months
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ghost who is soooo sensitive. like crazy sensitive. he struggles not to cum instantly when he's inside you because you just feel so good. so warm and wet and tight and fuck, he's cumming.
and when he cums, he cums. dumps bucket loads inside you. his voice gets all high and whiny when he cums, too. his hips jerking and his head nuzzled into the crook of your neck bc he's so embarrassed that he came before you even started.
the best thing about his sensitivity tho is that he can go again once he's finished cumming. doesn't matter if he's barely finished emptying his balls, he's going again, mouth on yours as he thrusts his sticky, cum-covered cock into you.
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altvec · 3 months
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Sleepy!Reader who can’t sleep without a weighted blanket so when it’s in the wash Ghost lies on top of them so they can sleep.
Sleepy!Reader who gets tired after missions and struggles to stay awake for briefings.
Sleepy!Reader who’ll purposely fall asleep on the couch just so Ghost can carry them to their bedroom.
Sleepy!Reader who sometimes talks in their sleep and Ghost finds it so adorable how they want to kick batman’s ass cause he stole their fro-yo.
Sleepy!Reader who moves a lot in their sleep when they have the bed to themselves but stays completely still when Ghost cuddles with them.
Sleepy!Reader who has nightmares and will curl up next to Ghost for comfort.
Insomniac!Ghost who always sleeps better with reader in his arms.
Insomniac!Ghost who caresses readers sleeping face and he can feel his heart beat in his chest while listening to their light snores and a soft smile comes to his face.
Insomniac!Ghost who’s warmer than a radiator and Sleepy!Reader who’s colder than the artic will cuddle with each other for the heat/cold.
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mockerycrow · 10 months
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Emergency Contact (1/2) (Ghost x GN!Reader)
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>> emergency contact concept here << PART TWO HERE!!
Summary: Simon is your roommate, and you haven’t seen each other in months, considering Simon’s job. An unfamiliar number pops up on Simon’s phone, and answering it makes his world turn upside down.
A/N: How you two moved in together is very vaguely inspired this ghost fic right here. please give it a read! If you finish the song above, I highly recommend listening to the entire album while reading. i’m not the happiest with this, but i’m happy enough to post!
[WARNINGS: Blood and injury, traumatic events/trauma brought up, gore, little comfort, medical inaccuracies, tbh ooc simon but it’s ok.]
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Eight months, thirteen days, and nine hours. That’s how long it’s been since he’s been home, since he’s seen you. That’s how long he’s been stuck on base, or thrown into a foreign country to complete some mission, or to gather some intel, or to kill someone, just somewhere, anywhere but with you.
Eight months, thirteen days, and nine hours. That’s how long it’s been since you softly asked him to stay as safe as he can, and to come back alive, and to come back with at least eight fingers. It was a running joke between you two, a way to relieve the terrifying reality of his job; as long as Simon came home alive and with majority of his fingers, he could consider it a job well done. You didn’t know much of his job, of course—only that he’s military, and he’s gone a lot. You already guessed it was a lot of classified stuff, probably down top secret government type of things. That did make you scared, though. You didn’t want the day to come, the day where people in fancy uniforms show up at your doorstep like you’re some widow. The thought of someone informing you of Simon’s death makes your stomach twist.
Eight months is admittedly a long time. Simon.. he missed you, but he’s rather die that verbally admit it, but he sure as hell felt it. He missed the way he could hear you walk through the house, the weight of the floorboards creaking up your feet. Simon missed walking by the bathroom and the air vaguely smelled your shampoo and body wash, a clear indicator you had just taken a shower. Simon missed the way you carelessly have your shoes next to the shoe rack, not even on it, and despite his annoyance of your laziness? He misses it every single time he’s away. He never really realizes the difference of living on base versus being home with you, and he’s comfortable in both environments for completely different reasons. Simon is comfortable with you because you’re safe, you aren’t associated with anyone he has to deal with on a near daily basis. You don’t scan the kitchen to see which household items could be potential bombs in the vicinity like he does. On base, Simon finds comfort in the familiarity of being constantly on alert, the need for a gun to be against his hip—it’s not the best, considering he’s in fight mode majority of the time, but it’s comforting. It’s familiar. It’s.. home, in a way.
You and Simon call at least once every three weeks—it’s not more because you’re both busy, you have your life to tend to while he has to do something like protecting an American Embassy, or sneaking into a compound to retrieve some vital information. You two talk about all kinds of things; you complain about the neighbors for the nth time, or you talk about your job, just something that he hasn’t heard about in a while. Simon.. he’s limited on what he can talk about—what he wants to talk about. It’s a bit difficult, keeping details of his job hidden away from you. He also keeps you hidden away from them; his team. Price vaguely is aware of your existence, but all he knows is your name and your phone number—someone to alert when he eventually would pass away.
It surprised Price when he requested access to his own file to make a change. Simon went for years without anyone in that section, leaving it blank—and then suddenly ‘[Name] [Last Name]’ is written down, along with your phone number. Simon doesn’t want to die somewhere and then you sit at home, dreading the fact that you haven’t received a call from him for over six months. Other than that, no one is aware of your existence and he wants to keep it that way. It keeps you safe, and he doesn’t want the one thing he has going in his life to be taken away from him—not like everything else has been.
No, you and Simon aren’t together. You just are the one constant he cannot allow to die. How you and Simon became close was rather funny, really—before you were roommates, you bumped into each other at the local stores, the bank, even several public spaces like parks and such. You didn’t see him too often and you weren’t aware on why, but you didn’t really wonder why either. By this point, you knew each other for a couple of months. He introduced himself as SR—not Ghost or Simon, but as SR. You didn’t bother to question it because this tall, bulky man seemed like he was trying keep himself as anonymous as possible. Without fail, you always saw him wear dark colored clothing that hid any identifiable markings—tattoos and scars, that kind of thing. He usually has his hood up with a black face mask covering his nose down, but you do know one thing—he has to have bright blonde hair. Why else would his beautiful eyelashes and eyebrows be that bright? It would catch your eye every time you’d see them. Sometimes you would see him with a beanie on and the mask, with his hood down. This wasn’t too often, as it exposed some scarring he has on the back of his neck, as well as his forehead. This also silently lead you to believe he has a tough past of some sort, which is confirmed when you run into him somewhere you never expected to—your therapist’s building. You bumped into him right outside, and you apologized profusely before looking and going silent as you made eye contact.
A silent agreement was made between you two that day, one that you could never put into words. Something in that moment that dragged you two closer together. You had been through some shit in your life, shit that had permanent effect on you, shit that you wanted to work through. It was horribly tiring, but you knew you needed to work through it—so you could live a life you felt was worth living. Simon, was on the other side of the spectrum. He didn’t want this. He never wanted to tell anyone about anything, but Price, Price fucking made him. Simon spends his days and nights plagued with nightmares and memories—he’s woken up in the middle of the night enough times to know that he needs help, but he was so adamant about not talking to anyone about it. But seeing you there? Someone who he hasn’t known for long, someone who had always greeted him with a smile on your face, laughter spilling from your beautiful vocal cords, and someone who doesn’t touch him without permission? It made him so angry and hopeless about this world. Not even you, a stranger who he sees as the best human being he’s known in a while—despite not knowing you for long—could escape from the cruel and sharp jaws of the world. You found out you two accidentally scheduled the same days, so it became an unspoken agreement to wait for the other outside of the building so you can both go in. Even when you weren’t sure when his next appointment would be, you’d be right outside of that building, waiting for him. You would always be right there, and that’s something he quickly learned.
You lost your house to a fire, everything went with the burning embers that raged inside of the 4 walls of your previous home, the structure collapsing in on itself. You had gotten out in time, and you numbly watched the fire roar, the crackling burning it’s memory in your ears. The piercing sound of different sirens were approaching, but all you could do is stand there with your phone in your hand, watching the home you worked so hard for burn to the foundation built years ago. You felt a hand on your shoulder, but you didn’t bother to turn to see who it was. Everything was going so slow, almost like a movie scene in the worst way possible. Your nostrils burned from the smell of burning wood, drywall, and installation. The hand squeezed your shoulder and you slowly looked at who it was—and was him. Simon. His eyebrows were furrowed, eyes ever so slightly panicked and it was obvious he was asking you something, but you didn’t hear him. All you could focus on was that he was here. You blinked rapidly as your eyes began to burn from the smoke and from that choked feeling going from your chest to your throat. “I..” You croak ever so slightly. You couldn’t hold it back—you quickly grabbed onto Simon desperately, letting out a heart-wrenching sob because you just lost everything you owned, every memory, every piece of furniture, everything.. but he was here. He was the only thing was wasn’t crumbling away from your grasp, the only constant. Once you clung to him, Simon’s senses were flooded with you. Fuck, your touch burned, just like everyone’s else’s but he liked—no, loved how it felt. Despite the image of a burning house in his wake making dread bubble in his gut, your sobs and touch were the only thing he could focus on. Simon hesitates for only a second before pulling you into his personal space, his arms wrapping around you and weighing heavily on your body. Neither of you spoke, he just let you scream into his chest and sob, your fists gently banging against his chest—the anger, the sadness, everything was too much. Simon knew exactly how you were feeling, so he didn’t mind the twinges of pain your hands produced. Simon was the one who helped you while you chatted with the paramedics and the police. He was the one who helped you find your words when you had none left to share, the smell of the smoke imprinted on your clothes.
Without question, Simon took you to his house. He did not have another bed set up, so he had you sleep in his room while he slept on his couch. He hated the hollow look your eyes held, the way you were delayed with your answers, the ways your hands shook. Your everlasting smile had dissipated into a wobbly frown and he.. Simon couldn’t handle it. He grabbed you some of his clothes and helped you into his bathroom, quietly telling you to take a shower. He’ll take care of your clothes. Simon left you alone, and you showered for a long time. He didn’t count, but it was over an hour and a half. Simon didn’t say anything about you possibly racking up his bill, how could he when you had just lost everything? He wanted to.. to help you, and he wasn’t sure why. Even when he found himself scrubbing your smoke and tar covered clothes in his kitchen sink, he couldn’t find an exact reason why he wanted to help you. Maybe it’s because you made him feel human when he needed to be, maybe you were the one thing that kept him coming back to this town, the one thing that kept him from completely pulling away from the civilian world. You had found him in a corner like a dog, lips curled back and snarling—sharp teeth clashing together, and without a word, you gave him reasons to trust you. Although they may not be.. normal reasons to the regular eye, but they were enough for Simon.
You’re enough for Simon. He scrubbed your clothes until his arms burned, and then some.
That’s when he found out that you too, were also someone who could not stay asleep for long. When Simon awoke with his adrenaline pumping from the muffled sound of vomiting, he had to calm himself down because he’s safe, and you’re safe, most of all. Simon isn’t sure when he began to think that way, but it’s one of the many things he’s decided to not question—which also new for him. Simon is man who demands answers, yet with you? it’s like everything naturally falls into place, which is why he doesn’t complain when your stay at his house—which you swore would only be until you gathered enough money for an apartment—turned from a two week stay, to Simon carrying in an IKEA bed frame to put and assemble in one of his empty rooms. Many sleepless nights came and went, and each and every one you spent them with each other, sitting by a windowsill together, other times spending it in the backyard and looking at the sky. Sometimes you would wake up first, sometimes it would be him. You somehow always knew when he had woken up from a nightmare, his heart pounding in his ears—until your hands grab his and squeeze, to ground him. You burn him, and he welcomes the tickle of your ever-glowing flame. A year into this arrangement, Simon finally shows you his face and he appreciates that you don’t look at him any different. He usually hates the searching eyes, trying to memorize every inch of his face—but he’s greedy when you do it. When your eyes roam over every scar and acne scar, when you point out his messily cut hair and half-assed shaven stubble, he doesnt get angry. Simon doesn’t feel suffocated by your glances. He doesn’t wear his mask at home anymore, not when you’re there.
Then Simon gets the notice about his three month leave ending soon; and he knows that you need to know about his job. Or at least, the bare minimum you need to know. In reality, it’s how much he wants you to know, but he doesn’t want to admit that. He sits you down one morning, a cup of tea in his hand and he had a mug of your favorite morning drink on the other side of the table he had bought a few weeks you started staying here. Simon explains that he has a job in the military, that he can’t tell you much, but it means he’s going to be gone for weeks, even months at a time. You’re at a loss at first, because who is going to have an extremely positive reaction to “by the way, I work an extremely dangerous job and I can’t tell you anything and I’ll be gone for a while.. Oh yeah, you likely won’t know if I die!”? Despite your initial reaction, you grow to be okay with this situation. Or, we’ll, as okay as you can be with it. You also find out that he was here for way longer than he originally is, due to his boss demanding him to take a break—AKA, “go to therapy you dafty”.
For a little over two years, you two fell into a good rhythm. A call every three weeks, him coming home and you becoming the safest space he’s ever had in his life.
Which is why when his personal cell phone begins to vibrate in his pocket during some fuck-all meeting, his eyebrows furrow. The number is unfamiliar, but the area code is not. Simon quietly excuses himself from the extended round table, taking his call outside of the meeting room. Price’s eyes follow his figure as he exits, noticing it’s his personal cell phone in his hand. Simon answers the call and presses his phone against his masked ear, muttering a low, “Hello?”
A high-pitched, soft yet serious voice filters through the speaker, a woman. “Hi, is this Mr. Riley?”
Simon pauses, and so does his heart. “Who’s asking?”
He honestly regrets asking that in the moment—one part of him genuinely wishes he never answered this call, and the other part of him is glad he did. “I’m a nurse from Northern Manchester Community Hospital, you’re written down as [Name]’s emergency contact. They’ve been a victim of a hit and run situation, sir. They’re alive, but they’re in the ICU.” The nausea that suddenly bubbles inside of his guys, the stomach acid mixed with whatever he had eaten previously, threatening to travel up his esophagus, burn every inch and then exit with a horrific sound. Simon’s head began to spin—he’s your emergency contact? A hit and run, you were fucking hit?? By what, a car? A pick-up? A semi? God, Simon has seen the most horrible, gruesome, fucked up shit you would ever see in his entire life, yet he isn’t sure if he can handle the image of you spread out in a hospital bed, with one too many tubes circulating around you. His mind plagues him with intrusive images, ones he never wants to actually see played out. Fuck, his head hurts. It feels like someone is physically shoving a knife into his chest and twisting it, like God is laughing at him and playing with Simon’s pain for his own gain. How could he not think that, especially with everything that has happened to him? His friends, his family? His old CO? The fucking abuse he endured??
It’s like Simon lost his hearing for a moment, because he cannot bare fucking losing you, too. There’s a vague ringing in his ears, almost like there was an explosion and he stood too close. And then suddenly every sound comes rushing back to his eardrums, and everything suddenly everything is so fucking overwhelming. “Mr. Riley?” The nurse calls over the phone, her tone laced with worry. He clears his throat and when he speaks, he sounds wrecked, which he fucking hates. “I.. I’ll come as soon as I can.” Simon hangs up, not giving the nurse a moment to speak. He drops his phone and if he doesn’t sit down, he’s going to fall over like a tree that’s been cut down. Simon lets out a shaky breath, trying to ignore the way his stomach is screaming and twisting as he puts a hand on the wall, and he crouches down. It’s the first time he doesn’t look around to see if anyone is watching his sudden display of emotion. When he’s suddenly rocked with the feeling of home at work, especially with the news that you’re fucking injured—he’s overwhelmed and twisted all over the place. Simon finds himself stumbling back to his barracks.
Price finds his way to him after Simon never returns to the meeting. He knocks on the door, but his knuckles pause before they can knock against the door for the third time as he discovers the door is open—which is very, very, odd. He slowly opens the door while calling for Ghost, and is met with the sight of Simon shoving some of his clothes and belongings into a duffle bag, as well as his military travel documents. “Ghost?” Price questions, who stopped in his doorway to watch Simon lose his mind while packing. Simon doesn’t respond as he practically rips his phone charger out of the wall and stuffs it into the bag, zipping it up. He slings it over his shoulder and he turns around, pausing when he sees Price. Simon’s eyes tell everything he’s feeling—that something’s happened, something bad, and he needs to leave. Price bites his lip and quietly exhales, his fingers rubbing at his chin. “I’ll approve your leave. Just shoot me a text of how long it needs to be, yeah?”
Simon makes sure to note to send Price a thank you of some sort, because within the next two hours, Simon is boarding a plane, heading for Manchester, wearing some black clothing, a jacket, a black face mask, gloves, and his beanie. The entire time, he could not stop thinking about you—and how you could possibly die before he got there to send off his final goodbyes. Is that something he would actually want to do, though? See you in the hospital, knowing it’ll be the last place you’d ever be alive in? Go home, see how you left the house exactly as you left it? A house, but without his home in it? Simon stares out the airplane window blankly, his hands curled into fists, and his nails would be digging into his palms if he didn’t have gloves on.
He couldn’t lose you. Not like this.
The next part for Simon, it’s a blur again. Got off the plane, got his luggage, provided documentation, blah blah blah—he didn’t give a fuck about any of it. His focus was you. He didn’t bother to stop home to drop his stuff off, he took an Uber straight to the hospital from the airport. It was a fairly expensive Uber too, but he could worry about the costs of everything later. It took another half hour to get there.
His heart began to hammer in his chest as the sight of the hospital’s signs began to pop up on the road, the anxiety taking hold in his stomach and his head begins to hurt again. Simon quietly thanks the driver, tips them, and exits the car with a swiftness once they pull up. Simon walks through the main entrance’s sliding doors, going up to the desk. A woman behind the counter hangs up the phone, murmuring a goodbye, and then she looks at Simon with her pretty blue eyes. “How can I help you, sir?” She murmurs sweetly, noting how anxious he is. She can see the sweat on his brow line. Simon clears his throat, his voice rumbling in his chest when he speaks. It takes everything in him to not yell at this innocent woman and get thrown out. “My.. My name is Mr. Riley, I was called ‘cause my friend is here,” Simon manages to push out. “[Name] [Last Name].” The woman turns to her computer and clicks the couple of buttons and types a couple of words and holy fuck, Simon just wants to go to your wing already—“Ah, yes, I see you’re listed as their emergency contact,” The woman grabs a sticky note and writes with a pink pen your room number and elevator floor, handing it to Simon. He barely gets a “thank you” out before he nearly jogs to the nearby elevator. Fourth floor, room 283. Fourth floor, room 283. Fourth floor, room 283—it’s the longest minute long elevator ride in his entire fucking life.
Simon changes face masks whilst facing the wall, and then he finds your room number—and his heart is beating out of his chest. There’s cops standing outside of your room who stop him from entering. Simon’s anger flares up so quickly, he nearly makes a scene until a doctor exits your room. She’s wearing her usual blue scrubs, her coat, and she’s dawning a N95 and some sterile gloves. She’s holding a clipboard. “Mr. Riley?” She questions, holding the clipboard close to her chest. Simon nods without hesitation, and she responds, “I’m sorry, but due to the nature of this case, you’ll have to provide some identification for me and these officers.”
Usually, Simon would hesitate—he gives anyone outside of his team the bare minimum, hell, he only introduced himself as SR until he knew you for a while. This time, he takes out his military ID and shows it to the officers. He ignores their looks of surprise, and ignores the murmurs that come from them. Simon puts his ID away and he holds back the urge to shove them out of the way as he glares down at the doctor on accident. “Come in,” The doctor opens the sliding door and steps into the hospital ICU room with him. Simon follows behind her and he immediately smells the sickening smell only the ICU gives off. There’s a small wall blocking his view from you that he hasn’t past, and he can already hear the machines working. A heart monitor, a ventilator, combined with other machines he doesn’t know too well. The doctor flips through the papers pinned to her clipboard. “They were hit by a vehicle of some sort, the scene suggested they were walking home from the local corner store. [Name] has multiple broken bones and fractures, a punctured lung, a fractured jaw and internal bleeding. They lost a lot of blood at the scene.” Simon doesn’t respond as he slowly walks forward, and he finally lays his eyes on you. It’s.. traumatizing, to say the least. You were never supposed to be in a hospital bed like this, hooked up to machines he can’t even name. He slowly walks over to you, dropping his duffel bag somewhere on the floor. He doesn’t care to look where. Simon barely pays attention to what the doctor is saying—his hands tremble as he stands by your side, his heart thumping harshly in his chest. Fuck.
He drags over one of the chairs next to your bed. Simon takes off one of his gloves slowly, and then he tears the other one off in a frenzy. He feels so unlike himself, so.. different.. human. He reaches over to your hand and his fingers grab your wrist, so gentle as if you’re glass. Simon presses his fingers against your pulse point, counting your heartbeats despite the monitor. The thumping under your skin makes it more.. real. Feeling you, your heartbeat, your warmth and your skin—it’s comforting. Simon clears his throat and fights the urge to vomit once a gain, watching your chest rise and fall, produced by the ventilator.
He moves his hand to intertwine with your fingers and he uses his other hand to feel your pulse. Simon closes his eyes, muttering the beats per minute under his breath.
At least you’re alive—you’re here, you’re alive, and you’re with him. And that’s all he asks for.
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tags;; @alwaystired--neversleeping @handsomeunderwear-art @indefenseofkara @kaysav608 @1-is-loneliest-number @rosee-sensuelle @kitty-satan1 @k4marina @rahmown @royalty-purple @bowtruckleninja — if you are not tagged, it’s not allowing me :-)
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the-ineffable-cross · 6 months
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Another Husband Ghost Drabble
Husband!Ghost who doesn't let Ghost into the house
He takes the mask off as soon as he enters the door
He's YOUR Simon
Ghost doesn't deserve you
He hides the mask in the back of a drawer while he's home
He never EVER wants you to meet the person Ghost is, you don't deserve that
So when he peeks into your shared bedroom before he leaves for a mission, he's shocked by what he sees
A soft kiss being pressed to the hard shell of the skull and a whisper of "bring my Simon home safe"
He almost breaks when he hears those words
Whispered so soft and sweet to a part of him he thought so unlovable
Simon vows to come home safe to you from then on
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lunarw0rks · 8 months
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can you write something about reader using their safe word for the first time with ghost?
getting surprised at how easily he changes from rough sex to sweet aftercare to make sure he's partner is okay
₊ °✦ ‧ ‧ ₊ ˚✧ safe-word // simon riley
warning(s): nsfw + sfw, established relationship, smut/fluff, shower sex, hurt/comfort, gn!reader word count: 1.1k ꒦꒷ MAIN MASTERLIST ꒷꒦ GHOST MASTERLIST ───have a request? ˗ˏˋ ASK BOX ˎˊ˗
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You don't know why or when exactly the pleasure turned into pain, but you found yourself in a conflicted frenzy.
Your back pressed against the shower wall, legs wrapped tightly around his waist as Simon thrusted into you at a relentless pace. One of his hands remained glued to your waist, digging into your soft flesh with intensity. His other was behind your head, protecting it from hitting the tile every time you clashed against it with every plunge of his length.
He was usually so attentive, noticing every slight change in your demeanor even outside of intimacy. Sometimes, he's so concerned he'll mistake your moans of pleasure for refusal and stop completely, to your dismay.
However, Simon had yet to stop.
The shower head was too noisy, or perhaps he really lost that side of him whilst being so rough with you. Though, you had heavy doubts about the second hypothetical. Never would he intentionally harm you or continue on when you were so tense.
His touch wasn't comforting anymore, it was suffocating. Every groan into your ear, his thrusts becoming unwelcome by your stressed body.
In his defense, your gasps really could be misinterpreted. "Simon." It sounded like praise instead of a refusal — and your futile protest was drowned by the rain of the shower and bathroom fan. With every fleeting moment, you felt a rumble of discomfort build. Tears fell down your cheeks, spilling down his wet skin while you hid in the crook of his neck. Choked blubbers grew louder as you tried and failed to draw in proper breaths.
Then, came your saving grace. The safe word you had yet to use tonight, or ever with Simon. It was necessary, preferable over taking the unpleasant encounter and feeling horrible for not speaking up. And frankly, it would break Simon if you didn't voice your discomforts; he may never touch you again, and probably would feel as though he really was a cruel man. That man you spent so long convincing him he wasn't.
"Red." You blurted, feeling your lips tremble intensely.
At the speed of light, his ruts ceased. Nothing. Silence, except for the patter of the droplets around the two of you. From grunting to complete and utter silence — yet it was the loudest moment of your life.
Simon pulled back, dropping one of your legs but keeping the other secured around him for stability. Finally, he could get a look at your flushed and troubled expression. The unmistakable expression of distress; one he had only ever seen on you in other contexts. It chilled him to the core and made him feel like a barbarian for not noticing sooner. How long had you writhed? How long had he carried on like an idiot, mistaking your complaints for reciprocation?
"Did I hurt you? Are you hurt?" His series of questions were masked with deep breaths and a widened expression. Your silence made him withdraw from you completely, putting a supportive hand on your warm cheek. "Talk to me, love. Please."
You weren't mute from the pain, nor the fussing on his end. Merely the shock of how much his demeanor changed. From dominance to tenderness at the drop of the hat. Or more so, the utterance of a single word.
Quickly, you shook your head to answer his initial questions, snapping out of your stew. "No, Simon. It's not—" You stammered between reassuring touches, ones he refused to pay attention to until he was sure you were sound. "I just... It was too much, I'm sorry, Si."
Simon's face visibly cringed, hands roaming over your skin, grasping at your wrists with gentle nature. "Don't apologize. This is all on me, alright?" He replied in an alarmed slur, then your face had been pushed against his chest.
His broad chest, arms capable of snapping you in two, now cradling your body as if it was made of glass. Your palms slid up his back, returning that same tenderness to assure him of your safety. It wasn't pain because of his carelessness, nor was it the rough nature. He had done it before with no issue. Tonight's cards just weren't stacked right, bound to tumble from the start.
There was no blame to be had for either of you. Merely a hitch in the evening, and you wanted it treated as such. Though, you knew by now that convincing him of that would be a prolonged, tedious task.
Right now, all you had were reassurances that sounded pathetic amidst your trembles. "It's not your fault." You mumbled against his chest, anxieties put to ease at the caress of his calloused hand up and down the nape of your neck.
He quickly shushed you, pressing his lips to your drenched head of hair. A silent way of urging you to keep your mouth shut — but in his own blunt way.
In the following moments, he let his hands roam and massage the bits of flesh that took the brunt of his force. The indents on your hips, the patch on your shoulder blades irritated from clashing with the shower wall, all of it. The sizzling water was used to figuratively wash away his misjudgments, relaxing the muscles once over-exerted and sore.
Once he turned the knob to stop the water, he tied a towel around his waist, retrieving the fresh one he set out for you while the water was still heating up several minutes ago. Without once making eye contact, he unfolded the linen, then was running it along your dripping skin, drying every last bit to ensure you were comfortable before dressed.
With some silent convincing, you nodded, allowing him to step out and let you hold the towel around yourself. You weren't defenseless because you uttered a safe word, he knew that. But you weren't going to brush this off, either. No chance.
The drawer of your dresser scraped shut when you followed him into the bedroom, revealing your favorite pair of sweatpants. Next, one of his many black tees soon slipped over your fleshly cleaned body. You were no longer suffocated or plagued with unease, nor did you want the release you were craving moments ago. Your only desire was his presence, that safe feeling his existence gave you.
Before you settled on the bed, he cupped your cheeks, pressing his forehead against your own. "Tell me again." Simon pleaded with intense softness.
"I'm alright, Simon. Promise." A futile smile formed, clenching your eyes shut briefly with a defeated nod. You had repeated it a hundred times, it seemed. But you wouldn't take back or fib through any one of them. It was the truth— the reassurance he craved.
Softly, he scoffed at your cheesy proclamation. "Promise it, huh?"
"Promise it."
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thirstydemisexual · 5 months
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Boyfriend!Ghost finally meeting your family on Christmas
Boyfriend!Ghost who is so fucking anxious to meet your parents. This would be the first Christmas he spent with them and he never had a proper Christmas before meeting you so he doesn't really know what to expect
Boyfriend!Ghost who wants to make such a good impression. He wants to show that he's worth your love. He knows loving someone in the army is hard, the loneliness when he's deployed, the fear of him not coming back. And he expect your parents to resent him for making you go through that
Boyfriend!Ghost who is asking you a lot of questions about your parents likes and dislikes because he want to show that he cares(and doesn't want to mess up)
Boyfriend!Ghost who doesn't really know how to react when your mother launches herself on him for a tight hug right after opening the door
Boyfriend!Ghost spending a hot minute in the entrance admiring the frames picturing you growing up, a big smile coming onto his face.
Boyfriend!Ghost who tenses up the first time he sees your dad. He was expecting your mother to be sweet as you said but you never brought a boyfriend home before, much less one that was in the military so he didn't know what reaction to expect from your father
Boyfriend!Ghost who finally relaxes once your dad pats him on the back telling him to make himself at home
Boyfriend!Ghost who ended up liking your family so much he makes a point to come and visit them at least once every time he comes home from deployment
Boyfriend!Ghost who never felt like he had a proper family before and now rejoice in the presence of yours and feels like something that was wounded from his childhood was finally healed
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d0youc0py · 2 months
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I’ve been seeing so much ex husband price stuff on here and it’s making me drool. So I’m contributing some ex husband/not divorced yet but taking a break for vague reasons but you both still deeply love each other TF 141….Also this is sappy, dramatic and not accurate character portrayal—just let me live in denial!
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“Johnathan, it’s 1 am.” You groaned, trying to rub the sleep from your eyes.
“Go back to bed, Honey.” He muttered back quickly. You shot him a glare at the term of endearment. He was balancing a flashlight between his teeth, his back mostly turned to you.
“Are you fixing that window?” You questioned, turning on the overhead light. He must’ve not wanted to wake you. He took the flashlight out of his mouth, looking over his shoulder at you. His chest swelled at the sight of you in one of his shirts. It took every ounce of self restraint not to wrap you up in his arms. “I told you over the phone I hired someone to come and fix it.” You yawned.
“And have some stranger traipsing through the house.” He huffed. You watched as his arms flexed at even the slightest movements. You hated these moments of weakness. It was the same reason why you couldn’t fall asleep unless you were wearing one of his shirts. Or the same reason you would light a cigar like it was incense. The same reason why you always answered his daily calls. Then you’d remember why you wanted a divorce in the first place. It always felt like someone dumping cold water on you.
And thats exactly how you felt now.
“That’s not your problem anymore, John.” You reminded. His blood ran cold. Yet he kept up his unbothered appearance.
“Never a problem, Honey.” He assured, still keeping his back to you. You sighed running a hand over your face.
“I just- I don’t think it’s appropriate for you to just show up whenever you want. It’s my house right? That’s what you agreed to. It’s not just some motel you can show up at whenever you want to feel needed.” You spat. His body was still and ridged. His teeth ached from the tight clenching of his jaw and the pain in his chest was wince worthy.
“I know.” He said slowly. “I just want you to know I’ll always take care of you, Honey.” He began to turn towards you but stopped himself. He couldn’t stand to see the look on your face.
“I don’t need you to take care of me, John.” You continued. “I was able to survive before you and when you left me every other month.” You don’t know why you were being so forceful with him. Maybe it was because you hadn’t physically seen him in a few weeks.
“Well maybe I’m not doing it for you, hmm?” He shot back, finally facing you. His eyes were just as red the day you walked out of the lawyers office. “You made your decision, but that doesn’t mean you just stopped being the most important thing in my life. So yeah, I’m going to drop by if I feel I need to because I vowed to always take care of you and no fucking paper you make me sign is going to take that away from me. If you don’t like that you can get a restraining order.”
He didn’t even have a moment to catch his breath before your hands found their way to his shoulders, pulling him down for a kiss.
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“Hey, Cap.” You smiled into your phone. Calls from Price were kinda common- he just liked to check up on you here and there, but you could tell by the sigh on the other end this wasn’t going to be about you.
“Hey, Kiddo.” He started. “I catch you at a good time?” He questioned.
“Yeah, just watching TV. Everything alright?” You questioned back. There was another sigh on his end, and it sounded like he was taking a drag of his cigar.
“No one’s hurt.” He was trying to pick his words carefully. “It’s ’bout Simon, though.”
“Okay.” You responded slowly. Just the mention of Simon’s name had a small tremor rise in your body. It’s not like you had gone no-contact with him. He called you a few times a week just to ask if you needed anything, if anything in the flat needed to be fixed, or just to make sure you locked all the windows before going to sleep. “You’re building up a lot of suspense here, Cap.” You offered a fake chuckle.
“Sorry.” He paused again and you wanted to rip your hair out. “He’s just- I know it’s really none of my business what happened between the two of you but he’s not doing good, Love.”
“What do you mean?”
“He’s doing fine work-wise. But I’m worried about him personally. He’s droppin’ weight, smoking a couple packs a day, drinkin’ when he knows he’s not suppose to be. When he’s not doing that he just sits and stares. Johnny has to check his pulse sometimes.” It was his turn to offer you a chuckle. Another pause and drag. A few fat tears rolled down your cheeks and Price ran a hand over his face when he heard you sniffle. “I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but I also know you would get after me if I didn’t. Now you don’t owe him anything, but I think just a call from you would help him out a lot.”
“You think he’s doing this because of me?” You whispered.
“Course.” Price responded immediately. He cringed at himself. “What I mean to say is, you’re that man’s ‘reason.’ You get what I’m saying? Men like me and him need a reason. A reason to come home. A reason to be better. A reason to just get our asses out of bed at the crack of dawn. Like I said you don’t owe him anything, Kiddo, but I think just hearing your voice would do him some good.”
“Thank you, Price. For looking out for him and me.” You said sincerely.
“It’s what I get paid for.” He shot back with a laugh. You rolled your eyes, pressing the big red button after a ‘goodbye’. Your swollen eyes raked over the wedding photos you still had hanging in the living room. You couldn’t not call him. You wondered how long he’d been acting like this. Had he been doing it the whole time you had been separated? You rubbed at your eyes working up the courage to press his contact in your phone.
It only rang once before he answered.
“You alright?” He asked quickly.
“Yeah.” You replied, taking a deep breath. “Just calling to check in.” You said slowly. You heard him breathe a sigh of relief.
“Checkin’ in on me?” He repeated. Your heart ached at the thought that he seemed to think you didn’t care about him.
“That okay?” You urged. He hummed in agreement. “If your busy I can call bac”-
“Not busy.” He cut off. “What’ve you been up to?” You heard some shuffling and it sounded like he was getting into bed. You wondered what time it was wherever he was in the world.
“Nothing too interesting. I got a new cat! She’s an older tabby who’s seen some things, but she’s a Sweetheart.” You rambled on smiling.
“She probably thinks she’s in heaven with you.” He snickered. You giggled at his words and his eyes shut tightly trying to soak up every second of it.
“Simon, is there anyway when you get back you could help me move in a new cat tower? They’re all fighting over the one we have.” Using the word ‘we’ had just become habit when talking to Simon. You didn’t even realize you had said it. But you using that word was all the ‘reason’ he needed.
“Of course. I’ll be home Wednesday. That work for you?” His heart was beating out of his chest like it did the very first time he asked you out on a date.
“That’s perfect. I’ll see you then, Si.”
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*inaccurate medical rules*
Your leg bounced up and down nervously, your eyes about to burn a hole in the pale blue curtain. You were in an accident- not a major one, but you did receive a concussion.
Johnny was still your emergency contact and according to the nurses he was more than willing to pick you up.
“He’s not entirely my husband.” You began. The nurse raised his eyes from the clipboard for a split second before shrugging.
“Says it in your file and he’s still your emergency contact. He’s already on his way, but do you have anyone else we could call?” His tone was bored and you wondered how many times he had to have this conversation a day. You slowly shook your head. “Well we can’t just let you leave by yourself.” He sighed.
“I know, but I filed for divorce. He just refuses to sign it. Doesn’t that count for anything?” You pleaded. The nurse gave you a sour look.
“I can change your emergency contact so in future accidents he won’t be contacted.” You furrowed your brows at his choice of words.
“Hopefully there won’t be anymore accidents.” Your body stiffened at the all too familiar voice. The curtain was drawn back revealing your husband. He gave you a soft smile and you hated the way it settled your stomach.
“Yeah right, so change your emergency contact or no?” The nurse piqued up. You shut your eyes tightly, shaking your head side to side. You wished the floor would swallow you. The nurse looked between you and Johnny before giving you two some privacy.
“I’m sorry about all this, John.” You sighed standing up. “They wouldn’t let me leave without someone signing for me. If you could just walk me out, I can call an Uber.”
“John?” He repeated, in a whisper. It was probably just intended for himself. His chest tightened. No nicknames. He partly hoped that this experience would’ve softened you. Made you happy to be alive. Make you want to wrap your arms around him and call off the whole ‘divorce’ thing. He can picture all the times you sprawled out on his chest, whispering into his skin how safe you felt with him. Now here you were inching yourself away from him like he would ever hurt you. “I’d rather take you home.” He pressed.
“It’s seriously okay John”-
“Enough with the formalities.” He snipped. Your eyes widened and he groaned at his mistake. “You’re discounting everything we’ve been through together. Treating me like some stranger.” He growled out.
“Well what am I suppose to do? Hmm? You want me to call you ‘Mac’ again. Or any of the other ridiculous nicknames I made up for you? Well I’m not going to do that! You were good to me for so many years, Johnny- please don’t think I have forgotten that. But this last year it’s like I haven’t even existed to you. You’re taking every single job that is thrown your way like you don’t even want to be with me anyone, so I’m just doing what you do obviously want but aren’t going to say.” Your voice shook and tears dropped from your eyes, but you held your ground. His jaw clenched tightly, his eyes red from holding back what you had already given up hiding.
“You think I want this? I”-
“Hey, as much as this has been the highlight of my week, we actually need your bed back.” The nurse interrupted, peaking his head through the curtains. Your flushed but nodded your head in understanding. Johnny was hot on your trail following you out. The cold air felt nice against your heated body and you turned to Johnny waiting for him to make the first step.
“I’m sorry for gettin’ on you in there.” He sighed. He shifted on his feet. “I just miss you.” His eyes refused to meet yours knowing it would cause him to break. He opened and closed his mouth trying to find the words to how desperately he wanted you in his life.
“For a man who loves to talk you sure are having a hard time.” You sniffled, wiping at your still streaming eyes.
That was all he needed to let it out. It was sloppy and unfiltered, but yet it shattered your world and everything you thought you knew about the man and how he felt about you.
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You saw him at the store. It wasn’t the first time you had run into him- actually you two seemed to be bumping into each other all over the place. And without hesitation every single time he would flee the scene like you were some bully from high school he ran into. The same thing happened tonight. You both turned into the same aisle, stared at each other for a moment, then he dropped his basket and charged out the door.
You had already made up your mind weren’t going to let him go this easy.
You rushed after him, at a speed walk pace.
“Kyle!” You shouted after him in the parking lot. He was just opening the door to his sleek black car, one of his feet inside already. He paused for a moment, before sliding into the drivers seat. You were able to grab the door handle before he shut it on you.
“What the fuck are you doing?!” He growled, beginning to tug the door back. Your hand gripped the car door and he quickly faltered not wanting to slam it shut on your fingers.
“Just let me talk, please?” You begged. Those same brown eyes that you had spent the best part of your life staring into bore coldly into yours. “I just- We keep running into each other. I just think it’s silly that we keep avoiding each other.”
“Not silly.” He shot back without missing a beat. “You don’t want me anymore, remember?” Your heart dropped.
“Ky, that’s not true”-
“Fucking save it, Y/N. You’re the one who wanted to take a break. Why don’t you just divorce me and get it over with already.” He spat. His face curled in a way that made you want to die.
“Is that what you want?” You asked quietly. He ran his hands up and down his face.
“I’m tired of your games, Lovie.” His voice held no warmth. “I want my partner back. The same person who I vowed to spend the rest of my life with. The same person I vowed to love and protect- but that person doesn’t even seem to be you anymore. I couldn’t imagine just cutting you out of my life the way you did to me. And the fact that you were able to do it fucking terrifies me. Just call me when you figure your shit out.”
He shut the door and you let him.
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COD AU: Life/Death
This is a masterlist of the COD AU: Life/Death. It follows Life!Ghost and Death!Reader, with the reader being gender neutral.
The Beginning
The Creation of Simon "Ghost" Riley
Ghost's Shadow
Death's Rebirth
This is definitely not a complete list and will be expanded upon!
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simp4konig · 4 months
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“𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐈 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬, 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐭 𝐦𝐞.„
𝕲𝖍𝖔𝖘𝖙 𝖝 𝕲𝖊𝖓𝖉𝖊𝖗-𝖓𝖊𝖚𝖙𝖗𝖆𝖑 𝕽𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖊𝖗
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𝔚𝔬𝔯𝔡 ℭ𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱: 𝟏𝟒,𝟖𝟎𝟕
𝔖𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶
𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐙𝐨𝐦𝐛𝐢𝐞 𝐀𝐩𝐨𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐲𝐩𝐬𝐞. 𝐘𝐨𝐮, 𝐚 𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐞, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐋𝐢𝐞𝐮𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐭, “𝐆𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭”, 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐬.
𝐈𝐧 𝐚 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐚 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐆𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭. 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝?
...
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*𝐒𝐋𝐎𝐖! 𝐛𝐮𝐫𝐧!!! 🔥
*⚠️ 𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭! 𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭! 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐒𝐓!!! ⚠️
*𝐂𝐖s: 𝐆𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮. 𝐔𝐧𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 (?). 𝐆𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐢𝐜 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐠𝐨𝐫𝐞. 𝐏𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐲 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐛𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐆𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭'𝐬 𝐝𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. 𝐌𝐚𝐣𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫 “𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡„. 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐧𝐨 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥-𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨 𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐲/𝐧.**
**Let me know if there's anything major that I've missed! ☺️
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Simon "Ghost" Riley always had been a puzzle you couldn't solve. Always had been, and always was.
Stoic and stone-cold, it seemed, who did not respond with any warmth whatsoever, as a fire was put out in his adolescence, never to be rekindled again.
All that remained of his softness quickly became a hardened shell, ashes and dust from the extinguished flame left behind, not a spark to be reignited ever again.
The mask he wore became who he was, and he became the "Ghost" persona. Simon Riley was no more, and he hadn't been for years; he was Ghost, ghosts of his past forever haunting him, until he himself became a ghost of who he used to be.
So, Ghost was a distant man; which, was also always a contradiction — physically in close proximity to you on the few missions you had been paired with him, shoulder to shoulder with the both of you looking into the scopes of your sniper rifles, yet practically on another continent in terms of relations and closeness.
You were a rookie, and it seemed to you that Ghost viewed you in disdain for that.
With each attempt you made to become closer, he'd retreat back further into his shell. You'd think you'd be able to thaw his icy exterior, at least by mere degrees, yet his melting point grew higher with each interaction, the distance between you growing despite you trying to close it. Him recoiling at each attempt you made to come closer, as if your warmth burned him.
Every attempt at casual conversation was shot down. Stepping a couple of steps away from you, not looking at you at all, he would physically make the distance between you two further apart.
"Keep it tactical," he'd mutter. "If it's not about anything of importance, don't bother wasting my time. You got that?"
"Was only asking how your day was, you know," you grumbled, arms crossed defensively as you looked off to the side, hurt. "What's not tactical about that?"
"I hate small talk. Nothing tactical about it."
With that, he'd storm off unceremoniously, not sparing you even a single glance.
You'd jog after him, the treatment he was giving you making you feel like an unwanted dog. "Sir, hold on—!"
Ghost halted, and you would have crashed into the human wall had you not slipped in the combat boots a size too big for you.
"Not 'sir'." Dark brown eyes narrowed into yours.
"It's Lieutenant to you, rookie. Get that through your thick skull." Turning away from you with his arms crossed firmly across his chest.
"On second thoughts, you could be of use for somethin'."
Side-eyeing you, his words dripped with sarcasm. "That thick skull of yours could be a sniper's worst nightmare."
"Look, si— I-I mean, Lieutenant— I was just wondering—"
"Look, don't waste my time, yeah? Not here to bloody babysit a blooming toddler that can't keep itself busy."
Work with him was kept strictly professional before the outbreak — well, more so "stand-offish" as opposed to professional.
There was no point becoming acquainted. You two were vague associates, had occasionally been deployed together, and Ghost rarely associated with you when if wasn't on a mission, always acting aloof.
"Gotta stay focused, soldier. Especially in these circumstances."
"I'm not a soldier, you know," you remarked, daring to roll your eyes as he had his back turned. "I don't have the training that you have had, or the experience. I'm just a rookie."
"All the more reason for you to stay focused," he repeated matter-of-factly. "So, get a grip, soldier, because that's what you are now. If you don't have what it takes to survive, might as well lay down on the ground and wait to die."
And those working dynamics hadn't changed whatsoever after the outbreak.
The outbreak of a virus.
Almost the whole human population was wiped out by a world-wide epidemic, a plague that could not be cured.
The virus gave those infected the ravishing urge to purge anything living, a diseased mind wanting to spread its disease.
Like a parasite, it sucked out all of your life essence, your conscience fading as your body deteriorated, until had degenerated beyond repair.
Rabid like a stray dog, you would no longer be human. True, you were still you, yet you weren't you, only a monster in human form.
A corpse, violent and violently out of control, driven by animalistic instincts; instincts to kill, and to ravage fresh, human flesh like a savage, ripping apart meat off bone with sharpened canines.
Out of 8 billion people, 2 billion had been killed by the military's efforts to reduce the spread of the disease, while 5 billion roamed infected.
Out of the billion that survived, millions were driven to suicide, and those that remained fought and killed each other like primitives for basic necessities such as food, water, and territory. It was survival of the fittest, though few were fit mentally and many had gone mad. It would make one wonder whether there were any sane people left.
Of course, you and Ghost found out the hard way, when you two were deployed on a mission.
A mission quite unlike the few you had been deployed on before, as you two were retracing the steps of the police, trying to gather information on their whereabouts.
Shortly after police cars had arrived on scene of an emergency, communications with them were lost almost immediately.
And what's worse, was that Shepherd's forces had been supposedly involved in the incident.
You two had been dispatched by helicopter almost immediately, and upon landing, you realised that this would be the perfect opportunity to prove yourself to Ghost.
The place was strange.
Wide streets, dotted with brick buildings. Ominously flickering street lamps. The gentle drip-drip-drip of rain, collecting in shallow puddles.
Something about the streets being so deserted, no lights lit in apartment windows and nothing stirring in the alleyways, put you on edge.
Ghost, on the other hand, was completely calm, laser-focused.
A voice came through his earpiece. One of a female. "Ghost, what's your status?"
"Approximately 500m away from the target area," Ghost said robotically, scanning the surroundings like a machine. "No contact at all, and nothing out of place."
The voice hummed with satisfaction. "Good. Make sure you've got each other's backs. You never know what lurks in the unknown."
"Roger that."
"What lurks?" You asked, turning to Ghost in slight fright. "What does she mean by that?"
"Well," he shrugged. "An ambush, for one. Could be anyone hiding out in these streets. May not be as deserted as they seem."
A shrug. "But then again, you'd know that if y'had some common sense."
You two walked soundlessly ahead, footsteps in sync.
Rain dripped onto your gun, collecting into small droplets of water.
Once, you stepped into a puddle, and as your boot made ripples in the water, you swore you saw something. Something distorted in the water's reflection.
A wrinkled face, with glowing orange eyes, with sunken eye sockets and sullen cheeks, baring it's yellow teeth at you.
About to lunge at you from behind.
Whipping your head around in fright, you saw nothing there, and Ghost shot you a questioning look, a brow raised.
"What's gotten you jumping like that?"
"It's nothing. I just—" You shook your head, shaking off the fright. "—I just thought I saw someone. But there was no one there."
A dry, monosyllabic chuckle from Ghost. "Seeing ghosts, are we? Come on. Get your bloody head in the game, and focus."
You two walked ahead, yet you still couldn't shake off the sixth-sense telling you that something was wrong.
The figure you briefly caught a glimpse of made you paranoid, and you'd look over your shoulder every so often to see if something, that something, was behind you.
Nothing was, yet that didn't make the goosebumps go away, or your pulse to slow down.
Eyes closed, you breathed in and sighed. Almost immediately, you gagged in disgust.
"Eurgh! Lieutenant, do you smell that?"
Ghost quirked a brow again. "What?"
You sniffed again, and retched, tasting vomit in your mouth. "That."
The putrid odour of rotten flesh.
"You're right, I smell it," he wheezed, and fixed his balaclava. "Bloody disgusting. Smells like—"
"A dead body," you whispered.
"Dead bodies," Ghost corrected. "That isn't just one corpse. No corpse smells like that. There's gotta be a heap of these, all rotting away."
A chill went down your spine. "So you're telling me that all of the policemen just... died? On the spot? And they've just been rotting here, despite it bringless than a few hours?"
Ghost shrugged offhandedly. "Sure seems that way, don' it? Though, I admit, I'm jus' as lost as you are on this one."
Sighing deeply, and beckoned you with his head. "Come on. Let's keep going."
Looking back down, you immediately you noticed it.
A thick, magenta mist swirling from the ground and rising into the air, swiftly shifting into shapeless shapes.
It slithered like a snake up your leg, neither a fog nor a gas, but instead behaving like a liquid.
You were mesmerised, and couldn't help but take in in, if not but for a moment.
Out of nowhere, a snarling creature was sprinting straight at you, with those same glowing orange eyes.
Baring its sharp teeth at you, it had a crazed look in its eyes, pupils dilated and its sceleras blood red.
Sprinting straight at you, you realised.
Before it could register to you what was happening, what that thing was, and what to do, a single bullet went through the creature's head, straight through between its eyes.
"Godamnit, soldier!" Ghost yelled. "For Chris' sake, you should have been paying attention. You have a gun, so bloody use it, will you?"
Shook by what you saw, you had to protest: "Yes, but Lieutenant, did—"
"No 'but's," he snapped. "Eyes on the back of your head at all times, don't I tell you enough already?"
Still shaken, you tried again to physically shake off your nerves, in vain, and steadied the rifle in your hands.
"N-no. You're right, Lieutenant. You tell me enough already."
Looking down at the swishing mist, you still couldn't shake off the goosebumps on your arms.
Walking slightly behind Ghost, he suddenly stopped in his tracks, armed and ready.
He held a hand out to tell you to be quiet, and stepped aside.
Your eyes widenened.
Police cars toppled over, some completely destroyed by a rocket launcher, in a circle clumped on one side.
Shrapnel and sharp glass lay scattered on the ground, while guns were carelessly left behind.
Further along, army vans and trucks were parked, abandone. Doors left ajar and windows half-closed, as if the people there had struggled to escape, and left at the last second.
There were thick, black tyre marks from the wheels of one of these trucks leading north, that had skidded rapidly away. Away from something.
Sound of glass cracking under your foot brought your gaze to the ground. Lifting your boot, you saw what looks to be a vial. The contents were empty.
"Bloody hell..." Ghost shook his head, and, calm and composed, put two fingers to his ear piece. "There's been a shootout here, but no bodies. Any updates?"
No response.
Ghost's fingers moved to his earpiece again. "Ma'am, I repeat, there has been a shootout here, but there are no bodies. Do you copy?"
Nothing.
A cold chill tickled your spine, only this time, your body temperature dropped by degrees.
"Lieutenant, something's not right."
"More like everything is not right. Haven't you noticed?"
You gaped at him stupidly. "Wh-what?"
"That there's no bodies. Look around."
Ghost was right — not a single corpse was on ground.
It was as if everyone here had ceased fire and fled, dispersing into all directions, not caring at all whether they had been shooting at each other moments before.
There was sudden rumbling from the distance, and under your feet.
For a second, you thought it was an earthquake at the way the ground shook so forcefully.
You two looked into each other's eyes, Ghost's dark brown ones wide with alertness, while yours were wide in fear.
Soon, it dawned on you that it was not an earthquake. It was the stomping of feet, running in unison. A stampede.
"What the—?"
A cacophony of high-pitched screeching echoed from the othet side of the street.
Finally, you saw them on the horizon.
Dozens, at least fifty or more, were running right at you both.
Some, were limping, their broken leg trailing behind them like dead weight, yet still were driven by the fire in their eyes.
Most, however, were sprinting straight to you with inhuman speed, sprinting faster than any Olympic athlete could have done.
Horrified, you stared, having never seen such a sight in your whole life. If it had not been for Ghost shaking you violently, you'd have stood there, like a deer in headlights, yapping jaws of imminent death just a few yards away.
"Bloody hell, soldier! Snap out of it!"
Rescued from your trance, you had no idea what to do. You hadn't enough magazines to kill so many. There was nowhere to hide, you thought.
"Back to the chopper, now!"
Ghost pulled your arm, yanking you beside him, and you two bolted from where you came, you dropping your rifle in your haste to get away.
Adrenaline coursed through your veins, energising you in a way you had never been before.
Your sudden stamina shocked you, but you had nothing else on your mind, your mind screaming at you to run! Run! RUN!
Your feet were moving so fast that they were a blur. When you dared to look back, you nearly tripped over your own feet. The was horde less than fifty metres away.
Ghost had broken off into a full sprint at the sight of the helicopter, still on the ground, and you had been filled with hope.
Then you saw from the distance that the pilot that had piloted you here was slumped in the front seat. Two zombies had gotten to him and had ravaged him mercilessly, his jugular gushing blood, his collarbone protruding as they tore through skin and muscle.
Without thinking, Ghost pulled them off the corpse, and shot each in the head.
He spared a second's worth of mourning for the man, before pulling him out from the front seat and setting his body at the back compartment.
When you caught up to him, the horde was nearly nipping at your heels. "Fuck, Lieutenant! What are we gonna do?!"
Without warning, Ghost shoved you inside, manic. "For fuck's sake, get inside already!""
Your eyes widened in fear. "Do you even know how to pilot this thing?!"
Ghost slammed the helicopter doors, while you had a death grip on. "'Course I know how to pilot this bloody thing! I was part of the Special Air Service. I know what I'm doing."
Fiddling a little with the controls, and furiously mashing a few buttons, you miraculously got into the air.
The flight had heavy turblence. Ghost nearly crashed the thing into a tall building, yet managed to swerve in time.
And with that, you two were off. Panting, gasping for breath, gasping at the horrific scene that replayed like a movie reel.
Yet, it was awfully quiet, a contrast to the loud thoughts inside your head.
Just the whirring of the helicopter blades and the purring of the engine.
Finally, after what felt like ages, the tornado of thoughts and the narrow escape from storming, snarling creatures all headed for you as fast as whirlwind, metres away from throwing themselves and taking you to the ground, tearing you apart, you calmed. Calmed yourself enough to the point where you were no longer in a hysteria.
"S... Sir?"
He grunted in acknowledgment, not bothering to correct you this time, eyes staring fixedly ahead of him and piloting the helicopter in silent concentration.
"S-so—" Stuttering, because you were shuddering at the premise of what had just happened, shivering from a continuous cold chill and persistent goosebumps.
"—So, uhm, wh-what— what do you think happened back there?"
For a few agonisingly long moments, Ghost was agonising quiet, clearly contemplating what was at hand. The quiet was deafening.
"Listen. If I'd had to hazard a guess—" Ghost began, still staring ahead of him solemnly. "—I'd say those were zombies."
When he turned around to spare you a glance, your dumbstruck expression seemed to frustrate him.
"Fuck, what's with that expression, soldier? If that mouth of yours is open for any longer you'll bloody catch flies."
"Z— zombies?"
Although recovering slightly, enough now to speak steadily, you were dumbfounded.
"Y-you can't be serious. You've gotta be taking the piss!"
His eyes narrowed, and he glared in warning. "Think I've lost my head? Christ, you haven't ever watched a zombie apocalypse movie, or summat? The resemblance was uncanny. Those were not humans."
Tilting your head in confusion and curiosity. "You watch... Zombie movies?"
"Oh for crying out loud—" He pinched his temple in frustration. "—I'm telling you that we're in some serious shit, that there might even be an ongoing apocalypse, and you're more moved by what I apparently watch in my free time? Bloody hell—"
After a thoughtful pause, you turned to him, eyebrows furrowed. Suddenly serious.
"It doesn't make sense, though."
"Sure it does," he growled. "Life doesn't imitate art. Art imitates life. There had to have been inspiration somewhere."
"You're still going on about those zombie movies?" You groaned, tempted to face-palm yet to scared to be so blatantly disrespectful. "No. I mean, why? Why have people become zombies?"
He let out an unamused chuckle. "God, could you be more dense, you?"
"What was the reason we went on this so-called operation? Think. Think this one time, as I can you don't do it often enough."
Rolling your eyes, you immediately froze in the spot, eyes wide.
It hit you, that there could, could, be a connection. If Shepherd's men really were involved in the shootout, then...
"Look, I didn't tell you," you said, swallowing. "I stepped on what looked to be a test tube. Or a vial, I'm not sure. It had purple stains on it."
"A sample of the virus that went wrong?" Ghost proposed. "I suppose it wasn't meant to be airborne. They used it as a last ditch effort to get the cops off their tails."
"How can you be so sure that is what happened? What if it was just a mistake?"
Ghost turned around, arm slung around the back of the adjacent seat, and his eyes were dark. With a mocking tone: "Oh yes, because genetically engineering a virus that causes people to eat other people was obviously a mistake. And the shootout was just a slip of people's fingers."
You crossed your arms indignantly, annoyed, and Ghost took advantage of your offense by continuing:
"By now, they've definitely made adjustments. Engineered it so they have more control over it."
Despite being annoyed, you audibly gulped, your defiant demeanour dropping instantly. "Y-you sure, Lieutenant? I-I mean— how can you be sure of this?"
Wordlessly, dark brown eyes darkening, Ghost said: "Positive."
Turning around, his shoulders tensed up suddenly. "I'm just prayin' that I'm wrong."
For close to half an hour, you two were flying back where you came from.
From afar, the base, with its several camps and adjourning buildings, temporary tents that had become permanent ones due to the lack of time to put them down, military trucks parked in neat rows, vehicles just as they had stood when you departed, untouched, stood like an imposing monolith, despite being far wider than it was tall.
There was none of the usual commotion, however, the hustle and bustle of people rushing to and fro, the stamping of feet and the grunts of effort from the distance as soldiers took part in drills, of purring car engines and whirring helicopter blades transporting soldiers on a distant mission. It was quiet.
Upon landing, you looked back at the corpse in the back compartment, and swallowed air, throat bobbing strenuously.
"Lieutenant... what are we going to do about... him?"
Ghost, after a few moments of studying you closely, murmured: "Take the body back to his family, of course."
You furrowed your brows. "Didn't you say we may be in an ongoing apocalypse?"
Sighing deeply, Ghost's shoulders sank. "I did. But I've been prayin' that I'm wrong, and jumped to conclusions. Maybe this fella has a family to return to. Doesn't seem right to leave him to rot, does it?"
Right at the entrance, you two exchanged an uneasy look at each other. Neither of you were saying a word.
Tentatively stepping through the threshold, you held your breath.
It was a good thing you did. The stench — the odour of death and decay — made you gag.
You had not imagined anything, refused to imagine what it would be like inside. And, inside, it was worse than you could have possibly imagined:
Bodies were slumped against walls, crumpled up in heaps on the floor. Guts were splayed on the floor. Half-eaten intestines and pools of blood, right where the corpses were.
Many had fear stamped on their faces, with wide, frightened eyes and gaping mouths, and flies had been swarming to the soft tissue of the eyes and tongue until they fleed from your presence.
Some had already been infected, dead yet living, and were feeding off the rotting flesh of the victims with a crazed look in their glowing orange eyes, flashing like a cat's.
Their fingers were gnarled. Had skin peeling off their hands, revealing tendons and bone, nails morphed into claws.
Others had not fought without a struggle, it seemed; guns were held by the dead in a deathly grip, empty cartridges and bullet casings were littered on the floor, and some even had grenades in the palms of their hands, having had not reacted quickly enough to pull the pin and launch them at approaching hordes.
Some of the zombies were laying, lifeless, with a bullet between their eyes, others with wounds in their abdomen and chest. Black blood oozed out like sticky goo.
Ghost stood as still as a statue, taking everything in. Wordlessly, he unholstered his pistol and walked towards the nearest creature.
And shot it right in the head.
A mercy kill, to put whoever the monster had been before its infection out of it miserable suffering, its mortal torment.
He would do the same with the rest. A few of them even looked up at him, dazed, not knowing what was coming for them, and hissing malevolently, before a deafening bang rang out and echoed down the hall.
When Ghost was done, he was panting, out of breath as if he had run a marathon.
Although he did his utmost to keep his breathing steady, each exhale was shaky, feeling like at any moment the air in his lungs would vanish.
"The virus," He said through gritted teeth. "It is here. It's real."
Hands clenched into fists, he was actually trembling. "It is real."
For an agonisingly long time, Ghost had his back to you, yet with the way his shoulders were slumped and his back hunched forward, he was forlorn.
Feeling like it was wrong for you to speak up, yoy hesitated, your voice barely above a whisper:
"Lieutenant? What do we do now?"
Ghost didn't respond. His shoulders rose and fell with each shaky exhale, doing everything he could to stay composed.
"...Sir?"
Cautiously, you tip-toe'd towards him, hesistant to speak up again.
He sensed your presence, and slightly turned his head around so he could see you in his periphery.
Surprisingly, Ghost was incredibly calm in the way that he turned to you. His breathing was steady now, and he no longer let out laboured breaths. It was almost like he was back to his usual self. This trauma would become nothing more than a mere memory, another one to stack on top of the memories that were emotional baggage he carried on his shoulders.
Staring straight into your eyes, his voice was quiet, but he spoke directly. Assertively.
"'s you an' me, now, soldier. We're all we've got."
And that was that. That was all there was to it.
You and Ghost were lone survivors.
No one had survived the ambush, despite having double-checked every cupboard, every barricaded room.
Those inside had gotten bit without realising in their bid to stay alive, to survive, and instead of human survivors, you'd be faced with surviving zombies that you would have to put down. One at a time.
Something told you that maybe, just maybe, Ghost's intuition was right.
That Shepherd had unleashed this disease, right here, as a means of destroying their opposition quickly, to clear their names.
After all, with everyone dead or infected by a virus that made them lose the capacity for human thought, who would be there to oppose them?
The reality that likely, very like, this was true, made your stomach churn.
That a corrupt individual with a mega corporation would corrupt humanity rather than bringing salvation, sickened you.
Had he even known the chaos that would ensure?
Ghost, having hauled canisters of fuel into the closest military truck, slammed the door closed.
With you two inside, in a single motion, he started the engine, and pressed his foot on the pedal, pulling out slowly.
In hesitation, for a minute, his hands shook, knuckles on the steering wheel turning white from how tightly he gripped it.
You didn't say it out loud, but you thought it was ironic: hours earlier, Ghost had been hellbent on making his way back to base, had even saved a comrade's corpse with the promise of restoring his dead body to his family members, yet now, he was creating as much distance between it and the both of you as possible, not turning back even once. Could not turn back, as there was no family for that man to be restored to, and no one, no one, to turn back to.
Weeks passed — or were they months? The days merged into one blur, indistinguishable from each other.
Encountering zombies became day-to-day to you. The ones you encountered could be shot straight through the skull. The parasite fed off the brain, feasted off mortal thoughts, yet with just one pull of the trigger it would die on the spot.
Fighting off a third, fifth, seventh, eleventh, nth small horde, no longer struck the same fear in you. You had quickly adjusted to the circumstances. Your new life.
You two spoke little in the beginning. Quite frankly, there was little to say.
How could one approach this subject? Of imminent doom following this global doomsday? Of having lost colleagues, comrades, in a single instant, and not even having been able to help, to even witness it, because you two were assigned on a mission that had been pointless in the end?
Sure, you knew who was to blame. So what? What was there to do with this information? Vengeance was not the answer anymore, as surviving was the priority. Besides, you didn't even feel vengeful. All you felt was numbness, and the burden of this knowledge that should have been forbidden.
Walking through various locations, all abandoned and lifeless, a wave of déjà vu would crash into you, flooding you with memories of what cities used to be like.
Seeing cars all in one cluster, stuck forever in a traffic jam, metal heavily rusted and weak gusts of wind made it all the more eerie. Especially more eerie, given what the cars had been lined up to do. To escape.
The quiet unnerved you. Filled you with dread. You dreaded the silence, yet flinched at sudden sounds.
Echoes of screams were brought by the wind, whimpering voices begging to be freed, begging the callous soldier in front of them not to shoot them, their children, promising that they weren't infected, they swear! Alas, kneeling, facing a brick wall, they'd be shot. One at a time.
The best thing about walking through these locations was that the two of you never saw the chaos, the catastrophic damage, the devastation, all happening in real-time. That, in a sense, was also the worst thing about this apocalypse.
You two were not associated with the events, and, realising that you'd never experience what millions of other people had collectively experienced in those moments, their final moments, left you disassociating for hours at a time, your feet walking on their own.
Something about seeing the cities stood still, frozen in time, a relic of the past, that fateful day of panic and fear preserved in a time capsule, and unaltered. Untouched. So unlike what they had been not so long ago, made you shudder. To think that it used to be lively, full of life, and so lifeless now, was a surreal feeling.
It made you feel out of place. As if you shouldn't have been there.
You had to be there, though. Supplies would rarely last and food in your surroundings was scare.
Ghost seemed to know exactly what to do. He led you towards the dilapidated pharmacies and the rundown convenience stores, most of what was left of the medication and tinned goods thrown onto the floor, piled in heaps.
What remained of past haphazard searches from other wandering individuals, was scattered. It made you wonder whether those people that took the supplies from where you were were still alive, and if not, how shortly after they had died.
Over time, you two became comfortable in each others's company, as you had become so uncomfortable with the mutual silence, you sought comfort in each other's presence.
And, although Ghost wouldn't have ever admitted it, the truth was, he was in desperate need of comfort, too, regardless of who you two used to be to each other before all of this.
Ghost's icyness thawed, and he came out from his shell, slowly.
Soon, though, his sarcasm wasn't directed at you as much, and you two could actually exchange banter, meaningless puns with the most God-awful punchlines, as a past-time.
Warming your hands over a small fire, you'd quip: "Lieutenant, what do you call a dictionary that smokes weed?"
A huff, his attention fixated on handling his rifle, wiping down the remains of a carcass that had splattered onto it. "I'd rather not know."
You had a shit-eating grin on your face, like a Chesire cat's. "High definition."
Ghost's eyes locked on your face, deadpan. "Fuck, that was terrible. I wish we'd go back to the times when you'd say nothin'."
Back to silence you two returned.
A heavy burden was on your shoulders, weighing the two of you down.
Out nowhere, Ghost spoke up. "Y'know why an oven and an microwave broke up?"
You rose an inquisitive brow, tilting your head in interest. "Why?"
"They argued frequently, and jus' overall weren't on the same wavelength."
You were mildly disappointed. "That... was your idea of joke? Really?"
"Hold your horses, soldier. Y'didn't even hear the actual reason as to why they broke up."
A deep sigh, shoulders sinking in an exaggerated movement, and you rolled your bored eyes playfully. "Ugh, go on, then."
In a deadpan voice: "They broke up, because neither of them could be turned on anymore."
"Oh my God!" You groaned. "That was so gross! I can't believe you said that!"
"What can I say?" A shrug, still deadpan. "I'm just hilarious, and you're not. Clearly, you don't have what it takes to be a comedian like me."
"It was not remotely funny at all! Did not even laugh!"
Ghost leaned in, his voice low. "But you're smilin'."
"Okay, okay, fine. It was a little funny!"
"Damn straight, soldier. 'Course it was."
To you, you two were closer.
Although Ghost was still his brooding self, and put up his gruff front, you knew otherwise.
You were shocked by him when one day he told you to drop the formalities.
"Look, having you address me as Lieutenant now seems redudant. Call me Ghost."
"Lieutenant, I—"
"Come on, soldier. I want to hear you say it."
You swallowed. "Gh-Ghost?"
"Thas' it," he said with a drawl. "You're learning. 'S about time, isn't it?"
Yet the warmth that radiated off him now could not be mistaken for anything else.
You thought you two had formed a bond. You really thought you had.
Bonded over the shared fear, the shared experienced, your shared journey to nowhere.
Which is why you hadn't understood why would Ghost leave you for an hour every couple of days.
For exactly an hour, it seemed. You didn't know, because you didn't have a working watch, but Ghost was punctual, so you assumed that it was true.
Like clockwork, he'd leave at a specific time, and come back an hour later, refusing to explain what he had been doing on his excursion.
"Jus' 'ad somethin' to do," he'd reply briefly, and return to what he had been doing before he left.
"This 'something' — couldn't I have done it with you, Ghost?" You'd eye him, hands on hips, eyebrows furrowed in suspicion. "And what is the need for that bag? You're gonna break your back carrying that thing with you all the time!"
Without fail, he would bring along his backpack, which was in all actuality a heavy dufflebag slung over his shoulders. A bag too big to be carrying for a small errand, you thought.
He'd glare at you, and act defensively, huffing. "I can handle it on my own, don't worry your little head, a'right? I can manage."
"You know," You'd say, tone softening. "I worry about you, okay? It worries me not knowing where you are, and what you're doing."
After a pause, his eyes would slowly crinkle in a smile, and his tone would soften, too. "Yeah, but I know where you are, don't I?" His voice dropped to a low murmur, a gentle hand on your shoulder reassuring you.
You were stunned. Here he was, touching you, when he had always recoiled at the faintest brush of a shoulder. You were blushing.
"Just stay put for me for the one hour of the day, yeah? You don't need to worry about me, soldier. I know what to do."
With him gone, you'd be worried sick. You felt not helpless — you trusted Ghost, and knew that he'd protect you — but useless, sitting there idly, practically twiddling your thumbs, not knowing what he was getting up to.
This went on for God knows how long. Each time, he was oddly secretive, and act as inconspicuous as possible so you wouldn't be suspicious of whatever he was doing.
Each time, he had made it back at exactly the same time, hurried footsteps hurrying back to your temporary hideout and going back to cooking a can of something over a crackling fire.
It was so strange, as it seemed to become routine to him, his movements mechanic, and his depature precise down to the last second. Robotic. Like clockwork he'd make it back.
Unable to take the mystery anymore, you followed him. Not close enough to blow your cover, yet far enough so that you'd always catch him taking a corner before he'd walk out of sight.
It wasn't long after walking through winding alleys that you came across a building — the tallest one in the surrounding area, in fact.
Climbing up the staircase, two flights behind him, you reached the rooftop, and watched from afar as Ghost unpacked his large bag.
It puzzled you seeing him take out technical equipment. Cables, a power pack, a rudimentary router. Alongside other hardware foreign to you, mouth agape at the sight of such prehistoric technology, there was radio.
Before you put two-and-two together, there he was, listening to the same radio with bulky headphones, a cracked red bulb blinking weakly.
Intrigued, you creeped a few steps.
When you were behind him, you leaned forward, arms behind your back. "Ghost, what are you listening to?"
He jumped up, startled, and immediately turned it off. For the first time ever, you saw him flustered.
"Was it music?" you teased. "A heavy metal fan whose blown their cover now? Maybe even a trash pop enjoyer? I mean, If you're into that sort of thing, you don't have to keep it secret, you know."
He coughed, clearly caught off-guard by the sight of you expectedly leaning down to him, but shook his head vehemently.
After pulling himself together, he looked you in the eye. "No."
"Aw, then what was it? Were you listening to radio static? It's my favourite song, you know."
"If you're gonna be such a smartass, then there's clearly no need for me to tell you."
You shook your head, smile vanishing. "Okay, wait! I was just messing. Please tell me?"
"I discovered Price's signal," he grunted as a matter-of-factly, quirking a brow at your gobsmacked face.
"Been communicating with him these past few weeks. Said Soap an' Garrick are with him, an' they're still with him."
"Oh my God!" You clasped a hand over your gaping mouth, gawking at him in shock. "That's amazing!"
"Mhm," he hummed. "They've told me their coordinates, and update every couple of days, when the sun is highest in the sky."
"When's that?" You said eagerly. "Maybe I could speak to them, too! Tell me when!"
Shrugging off-handedly. "Depends on the day." he said simply.
Barely able to contain your excitement, you didn't catch on to his innuendo, and couldn't help but exclaim: "So you could regroup! Right? You could reunite with the Task Force?"
A stone-sized lump got lodged in his throat, and his Adam's apple struggled to swallow it.
Yet, he managed to nod, though with his neck so stiff it looked as if he was shaking his head at the same time.
"Yeah, soldier. Yeah. I could."
You furrowed your brows. "Well, what's stopping you?"
"Well," he replicated, "they're thousands of miles away. That's the whole point of this journey, don't you think? What, you think we've been trekking aimlessly?"
Ghost said no more, and you were glad you didn't have to, either, a lopsided smile sheepishly tugging at the corners of your lips.
He busied himself with dismantling his set-up, putting his equipment away.
"Come on." He heaved himself up, and, with a stiff hand on your back, led you towards the way out. "About time we get out of here, hm? I'll see if I can contact the lot tomorrow."
"Okay," you said, grinning. "I daresay, though, your equipment is kinda out-dated, Ghost. Maybe we could pop in the hardware shop for some upgrades?"
He let out a monosyllabic chuckle, the usual for him. "Sure. We could even upgrade our TV to a 4K flatscreen one. Get with the times, and all that."
One day, though, he hadn't made it back at the same time.
Maybe he got caught up in conversation this time. That was it, surely! Surely that was it?
Leg bouncing in agitation, anticipating his return, you had a sinking feeling that this time, however, this time, something was not right.
You could say that you let your curiosity get the better of you. But you wouldn't have called it that, more like your trepidation clouded your rational judgement.
As, turning a corner, you hadn't even heard the feral snarling of a small horde of zombies over the voice incessantly telling you to find Ghost, and had no clue that you'd be pinned down by a zombie.
It lashed and thrashed at you wildly, bearing it's stained rotten teeth and sallow, black gums.
Harsh spit sprayed your face, and to your horror, the others had surrounded you, growling in hunger.
You had mere seconds to act, you knew that. If you didn't pull out your gun in time, you'd be torn to pieces in mere seconds.
Yet, paralysed with fear, all you could do is stare wide-eyed, you felt helpless. You locked eyes with the creature, its naturally orange eyes glowing brightly, possessed.
Just before the zombie's jaws could clasp around your face, it was shot in the head.
The body crumpled on top of you, knocking the wind momentarily out of you.
Peeking over the corpse, there was uproar among the horde, and they all hissed in unison, heads turning in the direction at the shot, before brain matter and bits of skin were blasted by a heavy calibre rifle.
Ringing disorientated you. Only flashes of someone's legs could be seen in your blurred vision, before you realised that you were lying on the ground, an entire pack of wild zombies around you.
Frantic, you heaved the body off you, and struggled to your feet, full of adrenaline, and locked eyes with Ghost.
Ghost was holding off the horde one-manned, and he grunted with effort as he snapped a zombie's neck while using another as a shield, his rifle shooting at a third rushing from behind you.
"For fuck's sake, don't jus' stand there like a bloody git! Shoot, soldier!"
Snapped out of from your daze, you suddenly realised just where you were, you whipped out your pistol and shot as many zombies as you could from close-range in your haste to get to Ghost.
Slitting the throat of a zombie about to throw itself at Ghost, you used up the remaining bullets in the magazine on another, and gritted your teeth as you changed mags with shaking hands.
Back-to-back to each other, you two were overwhelmed by the horde, but the close proximity to each other meant you had teamwork. Worked as a team.
You fired two bullets at two zombies, bodies crumpling into lifeless heaps, and aimed at a third.
Pulling the trigger, no shot fired. No shot was fired.
Looking down, you fumbled with the pistol, you pulled the trigger frantically, yet the bullet was jammed. Panic-stricken, you were desperate for it to fire, in despair to be in this situation, now, of all times.
Just as you looked up and felt the zombie's cold fingers lock on your shoulders in a death-grip, head about to pounce at your neck, Ghost growled and pushed you to the side like a ragdoll.
You saw nothing as you fell to the ground again, but slashed at more zombies in a frenzy, not many left now.
Killing the final one in your periphery, your head whipped around just in time to see Ghost wrestle the zombie to the ground and stomp its head, snapping the final zombie's neck in two like a twig.
Panting. Chest rising and falling, rising and falling, in painful breaths.
Ghost exhaled deep, deliberate breaths, black blood splattered all on his gear, dark blood staining his skull balaclava, his cargo pant legs, his gloved hands.
For an agonisingly long time, you couldn't catch your breath.
Finally, Ghost turned to you, looking grizzly, nearly sinister, had it not been for the dark brown eyes brightening a little and looking at you intensely.
He trudged to you in three wide steps and took you by your shoulders, shaking you a little.
"Soldier! Are you okay?"
Breath hitching in your throat at the emotion in his usually emotionless eyes, you nodded wordlessly.
You took in your surroundings and the horde you two had massacred; bodies contorted in impossible positions, heads and backs snapped in half, limbs broken so that arms and legs looked double-jointed. Orange eyes had become dull, and were no longer glowing, dim.
Looking at the ground, the zombie, its head grey brain matter and black-red mush, lay lifeless, bleeding black blood.
Wordlessly, you two two nodded, and limped back to your temporary base, completely exhausted.
It was a calm night.
A skinned hare roasting over a crackling fire, cooking the out-of-date contents of your tinned food and eating it with a dull silver spoon, you two sat in an uncomfortable silence, which was deafening. A silence that you dreaded.
Yet, the silence was far more welcome than the high-pitched screams and guttural growls of zombies from before, and you sighed deeply.
A sky so black that it cast a shadow on the trees, your surroundings, plunging you into a darkness had it not been for the lifeline of the lashing flames, There were a few twinkling stars in the sky, blinking in morse code, trying to relate a secret message to you that you missed.
With Ghost basking in the orange glow from the fire, looking so thoughtful as his unfocused brown eyes stared a thousand yards, gloved hands holding a flask with a steaming hot stew, warming his cold fingers, your first thought was that he looked alluring.
The skull-print balaclava pulled up to his nose so he could drink, days' worth of salt and pepper stubble sprinkled on his jaw, the sleeves of his hoodie riding up to reveal scars that caked his skin, most deep, some shallow, some recent while most years' old.
To you, he looked handsome.
Then, mortified by this thought, you shook your head vehemently, the warmth on your cheeks coming not from the fire.
Looking down at the half-eaten tinned slop in your hands, you suddenly lost your appetite, and set it aside.
Ghost noticed, and turned to you, about to ask you, but you held up a hand before he could interrogate you.
"I'm alright, Ghost," you said, convincing yourself more than him. "Not feeling hungry."
"You gotta get somethin' down your system, soldier. We've a long journey to go yet."
"I know. I mean, not to be a picky eater, but eating canned slop is not appealing to my taste buds."
Ghost let out a huff. "What? This cuisine not suited to your sophisticated taste, soldier? My bad, let me bring out the caviar, your highness," he deadpanned.
You roll your eyes. "You're hilarious, you know that? If only there wasn't a booing crowd throwing tomatoes at you. You'd be a top-tier comedian."
The corner of Ghost's lip twitched upwards, before he shot you a one-sided smirk. "Knew you'd come around eventually."
You didn't know why, but the way his jaw moved in the smirk was attractive. Physically shaking this thought off, you shook your head with a smile, unable to contain the silent laughter of your shoulders.
Again, you two returned to a silence. Funnily enough, this one wasn't uncomfortable like the one before, even with the light banter moments ago. This silence was unbearable, like the high-pitched screeching of tinnitus in an empty hall.
You stared at Ghost, almost in anticipation, as if it was he who was the reason for the unspoken change in atmosphere, yet he seemed to ignore you, too taken with looking ahead of him thoughtfully.
Swallowing the dryness in your throat, too awkward to initiate conversation, you looked at the fidgeting hands, picking at the dirt under your nails.
When Ghost unexpectedly called your name from the dark, you nearly jumped out of your skin.
"What's wrong, Ghost?" You asked, worry etched into the lines in your face.
"I need you to do me a favour."
At that, your eyebrows rose to your hairline, then furrowed in surprise and suspicion. Ghost, was not, not, the one to ask for favours.
"...O-okay? What's the favour?""
"Look." He stated simply. "I want you to promise me something. You can do that, can't you, soldier?"
You were becoming even more suspicious. What was the need for him to be enigmatic? Your interest was piqued, however, and you nodded wordlessly, hanging on his every word.
"I want you to promise—" He coughed into his fist, clearing his throat roughly. "—that when I'm ever, ever to turn into one of these..."
"...things—" Shivering, which surprised you, given how much heat was radiated from the fire. "—then... Then I want you to shoot me dead, a'right?"
Your jaw dropped to the ground, so taken aback not even by his request, but his bluntness.
"What— what do you mean, shoot you dead? How could I do that to you? I can't—"
"No." He interrupted, definitive. "It will have to be done at some point."
"Of course, I wish I could... avoid, this situation, but, inevitably, it's inevitable," he grimaced, tugging at his collar in an awkward gesture that was unlike him.
"And you have to do it when the time comes. No hesitation. No second-thoughts. Just pull that trigger, and put one right between my eyes."
Ghost stared at you, eyes stern. "Now promise me."
You stammered. "B-but—"
"No. Promise me now. That you'll protect yourself from the monster I'll become."
"Ghost—"
"No, promise."
His eyes penetrated yours, his gaze inescapable and domineering. Clearly, he would not let you weasel your way out with any weak excuses, or your pathetic reasoning. It was evident that no matter what you were to say, Ghost would refuse to listen, only becoming more dismissive.
Reluctantly, you found yourself nodding, breathing out a breathless: "I promise."
Ghost hummed in satisfaction, pleased, and said no more.
"Good. See, wasn't so hard now, was that, hm?" He asked, yet you said nothing.
"Hey, cheer up..." Tone softening, as he reached a callous hand to place on your knee in an attempt to reassure you. "It's not like I'm asking you to do it now."
You sniffed fiercely, eyes glassy. "Then why would you ask me in the first place?"
"Why? Because at some point, I'll turn."
He shook his head. "It won't be you, though. Never. I would never, ever, let you get bit."
His breath hitched in his throat, and your eyes widened slightly in surprise.
Ghost took a sip from his steaming flask, seemingly unfazed by the sensation of burning on his tongue. In fact, he even relished in it.
His lips were tightly pressed together into a needle-thin line. "When you shoot me, you won't be shooting me, y'know."
"Therefore, you must not let your emotions get in the way. What's the point of me getting infected, in an attempt to save your life, only for me to kill you in death?"
You pondered this over for a moment. "What makes you think you'll get infected saving me? Maybe it could the the other way around. You can't be so sure."
Ghost's eyes had an ironic glint, and flickered like a light bulb about to blow a fuse.
"Oh, trust me. I'm sure."
You sat up, straightening your back. "Hey, what is that supposed to mean?"
"Oh, it's not s'pposed to mean anything."
"Hey! Are you mocking me?"
For the first time in this conversation, Ghost chuckled. He couldn't help not to, with how childishly you were acting.
"Maybe a little bit. But you just make it so easy for me, that I can't resist."
You groaned, and rolled your eyes.
"Well then, maybe resist being an ass."
Ghost quirked a brow at how you spoke, yet decided not to scold you like he always did. Instead, he offered you his flask.
"Will put hairs on your chest."
You scrunched your nose at the contents. "Let me guess: carbonated piss, vodka, and liquid shit? My favourite."
"Made an order at a cafe, and I got served this slop," he shrugged. "They even spelt my name wrong. Would you believe that?"
You shook your head in mock disbelief. "Unbelievable. You better have gotten a refund for that."
"I didn't pay. Made a beeline for the exit. I wouldn't pay a cent for this shit."
Unable to keep up the act anymore, you snorted, and stifled your silly giggles by clasping a hand over your mouth.
"It's tea." Ghost said. "I'm not thirsty, anyways."
"You gotta get somethin' down your system," you said in an over the top gruff voice. "Promise to shoot me when I get a papercut. I won't be able to go on—"
Wordlessly, Ghost placed the flask in your hands. The fact that instead of a scowl on his half-masked face was an ironic smirk surprised you, and he said:
"Drink that, and go to sleep, yeah? I'll keep watch."
"What about you, though?" Your eyes frowned. "Won't you sleep?"
"I'm good. I'm a light-sleeper, anyways, and I won't exactly get a wink of shuteye with your snoring."
"Hey—!"
"C'mon. Rest up."
Taking a swig of the hot beverage, you felt a warmness wash over your body, cleansing your soul, and heating you right from your fingertips to your ears.
"Thanks, Ghost," you said with gratitude. "You sure you'll be okay tonight?"
Ghost nodded, staring deeply into your eyes.
You sighed, and moved off the wooden log to unzip your sleeping bag to nestle inside, like a worm comfortably in a cocoon.
It didn't take you long to fall asleep, as the crackling of the flames lulled you to sleep, whispering in harsh, yet warm voices a bedtime story in the language of fire.
When he heard your soft snores and saw the way your sleeping bag rose and fell with each muffled breath, he untied his boot laces.
With you asleep, he finally dared to peel the coarse fabric that had dried with blood, like cardboard on his skin.
Wincing in pain as he pulled up the material coagulated with blood, his calf had an evident bite mark.
The skin around it had not rotted, yet, but was raw, with the surrounding flesh pulsating as if it had a human heart beat.
Gritting his teeth with each maggot that he picked out from his calf, burrowed deep in his flesh, feasting upon it, he blinked indifferently at the wound, already accepting of his fate.
The bleeding had stopped. That much Ghost had going for him, at least.
Stomping on that zombie's head was cathartic. Watching its brain matter splatter on his boot, a lifeless body with a head of grey, slimy mush, brought instantaneous relief.
Yet, when reality sunk in, and he realised that killing that zombie in that heated moment would not take back the bite mark, that moment of relief transformed into the weight of an even heavier burden on his shoulders, an added weight to the emotional baggage he had been lugging for years now.
His gaze turning to your concealed body, burrowed in your nest, he hobbled over to lay his own sleeping bag over you, and took off his coat. Tucking in the sleeves under you so you were cozy, he sighed again, and slumped on the ground some metres away.
How was he going to break this news to you? You were a smart cookie, even with the shit he gave you all of the time, and were bound to figure it out on your own.
But he couldn't. Not yet, anyways. He still had a base to get you to.
He couldn't burden you with this information. He couldn't.
Only when the end was in sight, the base on the horizon, you headed straight towards civilisation, could he make his peace with shortcomings, the way you'd sob and shout at him, how you'd curse as your fists pounded at his chest, voice so hoarse and choked with tears all you'd be able to do is sob.
Or, maybe he wouldn't at all.
Maybe the gentle breeze in your hair, sun reflected in your rolling eyes that were unamused by another humourless joke, dry, unwashed skin positively glowing in the setting sun, the cracked lips twitching in a desperate desire to stretch into a smirk, and the way your body was hunched over under the weight of your heavy backpack, head bobbing in blind, naive determination to reunite him with his team, to have been there on the journey, was not a sight he had wanted to taint.
He'd tell you to walk straight, and you'd babble obliviously on about something, and slowly withdraw from your side. You'd get swept away by the crowd in the base, with familiar faces, arms hugging you from all sides and welcoming you with warmth, as a shot rang out in the cheerful commotion, his cold body laying on the even colder ground.
When the time came to it, he would have likely said nothing. A selfish need to preserve the memory of your not knowing, of your being blissfully unaware and never being burdened with the truth, was a mercy.
Just how it would have been a mercy kill for you to shoot him when push would come to shove, just was it merciful to spare your sanity and your innocence.
When you woke up, Ghost had slowly started developing symptoms of a common flu in the night.
Nothing too alarming, yet alarmingly out of character for him to be unwell, and you raised your alarm.
"Jus' pnuemonia, soldier," he'd say, voice hoarse, before coughing into his fist.
"What about these?" You insisted, taking out medication from your backpack. "And plenty of rest? Doctor's orders!"
"These drugs that the doctor prescribes don't ever work on me. Besides, we've got places to be. I'm not wasting my time in waiting room."
This time, Ghost's sarcasm didn't amuse you like you always pretended it didn't. Worry gnawed at you from the inside like a parasite, and your eyes were pleading. "Not even for me? Please? Jokes aside, you really should rest. It's fine if we cam out here for another few days or so.
At that, his eyes softened. "Gonna 'av to bear through it. Like I would have otherwise. 'S not the end of the world."
There was an undertone to his words that was so subtle you hadn't noticed. The ironic smile betrayed nothing.
Not the end of the world for you, it wouldn't. For him, it would. His life on this world would be over. Would end.
The next day, Ghost slurred his speech.
When Ghost was speaking as you two were hunched over some grub, you'd catch drool running down his chin and collecting in pools on the sides of his mouth.
As soon as he realised where your eyes were looking, Ghost immediately went to wipe his mouth with the back of his hand.
He ate isolated from you then onwards, and would have his back turned to conceal his eating.
Sinking his steel bat into a head of an approaching zombie, he'd grunt with effort now.
Ghost, trudged rather than walked, stomping his feet, as if each foot weighed a tonne and was a weight he had to lift each time.
Feet faced in opposite directions, perpendicular to each other, and legs wobbling as if sea-sick. It meant that he was limping, as if he had a walking impediment.
"Ghost, are you okay?"
"Twisted my ankle when we were fighting that horde," he hissed through gritted teeth, voice as monotone as always. "Don't worry about me, soldier. We're going to get you to that base."
You started. His ankled hadn't been twisted when you were running away just now. But, you reasoned, it was probably the adrenaline that kept him going, that had heightened his senses yet numbed the pain.
Then, you halted in your tracks. "Base?"
"Cap'ain's base," he clarified. Beads of sweat formed on his forehead.
He was limping. Walking like he was ineberiated, core off balance and like his legs too long for his body.
He was no longer as affectionate with you. Showing signs aggression, getting frustrated with small-talk. He'd rather grind his jaws in silence, nearly growling.
"Hey, I just— I wanted to thank you. For saving me. I mean, that day, when we were fighting that horse. You saved me."
He grunted. "Don't get used to me saving your ass all of the time."
"I won't! Really, Ghost, I'm grateful. I couldn't put it into words."
"But?" He snapped. "Spit it out."
"W-well— I mean, you should rest. For Christ's sake, you're barely able to walk! Your ankle isn't going to heal if you keep putting pressure on it! And on top of the that, you're fucking sick!"
"I've had worse. It's not like my foot will dislocate itself on its own." He snarled. "Besides; choices have consequences. I chose to save you. I could turned, and left you to the horde. But I didn't. And that had its consequences."
"Had? What are you on about? You mean has, because you damn near broke your fucking leg! You're close to a fucking cripple!"
"I can walk just fine, soldier. You're just overreacting."
"I'm overreacting?!" Your eyes bulged out of your head, and you almost erupted in fury. "Then how will your team react, seeing you like this, huh? You think they won't be overreacting, huh?!"
He gave you a death glare. "You're right, soldier. They won't be."
"Look..." you began hesitantly, wincing at his sharp voice that stabbed a dagger into your already breaking heart. "You won't die if we don't make it there by this week," you insisted, "so, won't you please rest?"
"Soldier, I won't rest until we make it there by this week." He'd smile his iconic ironic smile, one that you still couldn't interpret nor comprehend as to why. "We've not long to go. And then, I'll consider resting."
"You promise?"
He stiffened up, still as a statue.
"I don't make promises," he grunted, and stormed off.
Your heart sank.
"Hey!" You jogged up to catch up with him, taken aback by his sudden change in character. "Why not? It's not even life or death, like the promise I made to you! What's the big deal?!"
"I can't make promises," he stated as a matter of factly, almost as if it was common knowledge and he was putting it in simple terms for you to understand.
You were seething. "What do you mean you can't?!So I made you a promise, promised to shoot you, for what? For you to end up being a fucking hypocrite?!"
"I mean," he emphasised. "It's not in my moral code."
Almost grinding your teeth in frustration, you quipped back: "Just as it is immoral of you to withhold information! What is so immoral about you—"
Your heart sank so, so much deeper, so deep it was lost in an abyss.
In deep water, drowning.
It couldn't be true. Couldn't be.
"Oh my God."
You took two steps back. Not in fear of Simon , but in fear of the situation itself.
"...You're... y-you're bit, aren't you?"
Shoulders tensing up, Ghost moved his hand towards your shoulder in an attempt to placate you, but you flinched.
"Y-you're bit! Oh my fucking God, you're—"
You couldn't breathe. It was like you were suffocating, your head underwater.
For the first time ever, you understood the irony behind Ghost's smile.
Hyperventilating, you recoiled at each of his attempts to console you, refusing to allow him to.
"Won't you calm down, soldier? It's alright."
Ghost was beginning to lose his temper. "Calm down," he hissed. "We can talk about this."
"FINE! Let's fucking TALK!"
Ghost was walking ahead of you, walking so fast that you were out of breath jogging after him.
Doubled-over wheezing for oxygen, you looked up with a heaving chest. You two had reached a wide warehouse, making up for its lack in height it its width.
The metal around the door hinges had heavily rusted to the point that it took kicking a side-door down until it finally gave enough lee-way to slither inside through the small gap made.
Brown eyes darkened, and narrowed at you. "Inside."
You shot him a scowl, tempted to give him the middle finger, but backed out at the last second, realised it would be childish.
As you two were inside the warehouse, the bolt tightly shut behind you and all windows and doors locked, ensured that the place was completely abandoned, and barricaded the entrance as a safety precaution... you two got into a screaming match.
"SO?! Are you going to FUCKING tell me why you chose to say nothing?!"
"About me being bitten? Really? And what would me having told you sooner changed, huh?"
"Uh, HELLO! You're fucking infected! You were bitten by one of those zombies, and that was, what? A WEEK ago?"
"It was because this is the exact type of interaction that I was dreading. For fuck's sake, rookie, I knew you'd blow y'fucking lid like this! What sort of a soldier bloody are you if you can't fucking calm yourself?"
"Oh, me?! Blow MY fucking lid?! How fucking dare you! You're the one always calling me a fucking soldier when I'm not!"
"Fuck, don't you get it? It's your own damn fault for being so goddamn reckless!"
You seized up, eye twitching. Positively seething.
"What— what did you say?"
"For fuck's sake, I told you, didn't I? I fucking told you to stay put!" Ghost yelled. "There of course had to be an itch in your ass and of course you had to go bloody wandering, straight into danger!"
You couldn't believe what you were hearing. "What, so you're fucking blaming me for you being infected? Is— is that it?"
"Wait, no—" Ghost immediately backtracked. "—you're misinterpreting what I fucking told you!"
"No, I interpret it loud and clear," you said, tone dripping with venom. "It's my fault. I get it. It's my fault for wanting to get involved. My fault for fucking caring about you, because I was worried sick and worried whether this outing would be your last—!"
Tears of fury were streaming down your faces in rivers, a waterfall of emotions all crashing into you at once.
You sniffed angrily, and avoided his eyes, feeling vulnerable. "I-I— I care about you, Ghost! Don't you get it? I have always cared!"
"I just guess—" Your wobbly, cracked voice, blotchy cheeks, quivering lip, and puffy pink eyes made you look pathetic, you knew.
You didn't care. Feelings pent up for far too long now came hurtling out along the floodgates, and you were in utter despair.
"—I-I just guess I never should have cared, should I?"
Ghost stared at you with a steely gaze, stoic and remorseless.
"Well. I told you to keep work strictly professional, didn't I, rookie? What can I say, aside from, it's your own fault?"
He stormed off before you could call after him, slamming the nearest door in this workhouse and locking it from the inside.
You sobbed, feeling more pathetic than ever, and crumpled on the floor in a disgarded heap, like a pile of trash.
Ghost slammed his fist against the door.
"Goddamnit—"
Keeping work strictly professional his ass.
He fell in love with you. How could he not have?
Always trying to hard to break down the walls that he'd stubbornly keep building, brick by brick, you tore down those walls.
Like a human bulldozer, you demolished his reinforcements, and his bare scaffolding, his vulnerability, were exposed to you.
The moment him and you returned to base, he was hit with a gut feeling.
That, at that moment in time, it was truly you and him left. There was no one to save, no one to save you. No one to save you, aside from him. Realising that it was he, he the only one who could get you to safety, and no one else.
And he hated you.
It wasn't a hatred, or a loathing. You gave him no reason to, and were none the wiser.
He never hated you, never. It was you that he hated, the one that broke down his reinforcements and rekindled the fire inside that had been ashes.
With every time he pushed you away, kept you at arm's length, he found himself pining for you more.
And he hated you. Hated you because he loved you.
He hated your voice because it soothed him like a mother's voice would her own child.
It didn't matter when you cursed, when you hissed harshly at him in a mock anger, when you sniffed and your nose twitched. All these things about you made you human, and he realised that even if humanity was lessened, humanity was less, there was still humanity in you.
And it made Ghost feel not like a ghost, a haunting phantom, of the Simon Riley he was, but the Simon Riley he ought to be. Your Simon Riley.
He hated you because you made things all the more difficult for him. If he just was to push you away, to distance himself, he thought, surely your inevitable parting of ways would be less painful.
But it didn't get any easier. Not at all.
If anything, seeing the dejected expression you would fail to hide in time, the way the sparkle in your eyes dimmed just a little after getting rejected once more, meant that gnawing guilt ate Ghost from the inside out.
He reasoned that he was doing all of this for your own good. For his own good, too. No strings attached, with no attachment to you, your parting of ways would have been easier.
But it was this act he insisted was selfless, that was selfish. The fact of the matter was, he needed you as much as you needed him.
He hated that you made him feel this way because these feelings were dangerous.
At any moment, at any point in time, you could be ripped away from his callous hands, leaving a void that was already empty as it was.
Emptiness inside of him that only you could fill, feelings which would never again be fulfilled with you gone, and he could not bring himself to admit that regardless of how much you needed him, it was him that needed you.
Most of all, he hated you because you were the only good thing that he had left.
If you were to die, there would be no reason for him to keep living.
Yes, he had told you that he was on his own mission to track down the Task Force, but, he had known long ago that it was just a delusion he was playing into, an insane idea that managed to keep him sane as it gave him some purpose.
It was a lie he spoon-fed you, forcing you to believe in a lie that he himself was beginning to believe in, realising that at the end of the road, was would be nothing left for him.
Ghost lived for you and did everything in his power so that you too would keep living. You were just a rookie, had your whole like ahead of you, and deserved to live past his own years. Deserved to live, and outlive a person like him, as he knew that he didn't deserve to.
With that logic, he just never knew that he was willing to die for you, too.
He had cheated death once. Faced the Grim Reaper and spat in his face.
But not this time.
He swore he was hallucinating the cloaked figure in the corner of this room right now, sneering, domineering, with glowing orange eyes.
This time, he wouldn't claw his way out from his grave, the taste of blood and dirt repulsing him in his mouth and his limbs weary, yet tasting the sweet, fresh air of freedom; this time, all that he would ever taste is the dirt. Buried for good six feet under a nameless tombstone marking his grave.
As he saw his bruised leg pulsating, he couldn't control the unnatural tics, his calf twitching as maggots swarmed to feed on his decomposing flesh.
Whole body spasming painfully, his arms and legs jittered as if his limbs as if they had a severe form of arthritis, yet each involuntary contortion of his limbs brought agony, agony, agony.
The bags under his eyes had gotten bigger, hollow eye sockets with milky white eyes that had a thousand yard stare now.
Deep grey veins bulged out of his hands to his forearms, all the way past his biceps, shoulders, and neck. Throbbing in rhythm to his synthetic pulse.
Pupils were sensitive to light, and had adapted to the darkness.
Skin was far paler, sallow and sickly-looking, sagging in places and skin cells starting to peel off.
And, despite the layers of clothing he had on — a tank top under his shirt, a jacket, a hoodie, and a tactical vest, all underneath a thick winter coat — he was freezing, and constantly shivering from the cold.
Constantly cold, cold, cold.
The realisation that he was watching himself decomposing into a corpse in real-time was a horrific one.
Few times could Ghost admit he was horrified, as he had become desensitised to horror after his exposure to it from a young age, witnessing horror beyong imaginable that he was wholly unfazed by.
This, however? It was not horrifying. It was torture.
His brain, however, had self-awareness in tact and sufficient enough for rational thought.
His limbs did not do what he told them to do, though — would seize up, as if having an epileptic seizure, the feeling of writhing on the ground in agony as he was also electrocuted, imparting his movements.
It took every fibre of his being to hold off the urge to take your body in his claws and to rip it apart with his teeth.
He was a prisoner of his own body, unable to break free of the virus consuming him from the inside out, the way his cells were mutating alternating his strings of DNA, his code, coding for an intense desire for flesh. For your flesh, because you were the closest living being in his proximity.
Not to mention, that his teeth were decaying, too. Black gums bleeding, yet tongue salivating excessively even though he'd have thought his body physically incapable of producing saliva.
He yearned to bite into a chunk of your flesh, to lick his dry, coarse lips, his mouth stained with the sweet taste of your blood.
To chew on the meat of your neck, and watch in fascination as a fountain of blood sprayed from your neck like a hose, blood splattering on the walls as you screamed in agony, struggling in vain to push off the crazed monster—
Ghost let out a shaky sigh, and after a moment, regained his composure.
Looking back now, Ghost could have amputated his leg. He felt the jaws close around his ankle and sink his teeth to his bone at that exact moment, felt his skin, muscle, flesh, be torn apart by sharp canines.
As soon as you two were safe, he could have hacked off his lower leg with a saw at the abandoned warehouse you two were camping outside that night that he would have surely been able to find, no matter how rusty and the bluntness of the sharp blades.
But why? Why butcher himself? What was the point of doing all that in a frantic effort to cease the disease infecting his entire body when he'd be crippled?
He wouldn't be able to protect you. Instead, he'd be dead weight and drag you down. A burden that you'd be burdened with.
You were skilled, intelligent, and lucky, too. Yet you were only human. Your luck, as plentiful as it was bound to run out.
And, through no fault of your own, a gang of deranged lunatics would ambush you and kill you if it meant they could divide your possessions amongst each other, a horde of zombies would come storming in like a mass hurricane and devour you when you were at a dead end, succumb to starvation or, you would succumb to an injury like he was succumbing to.
He couldn't let that happen. He had to keep going, would only rest in peace when he knew you were at a secure hideout, a safe location, free of danger. At that, he'd gladly pass away, his mission completed.
And his mission would never have been completed if he had been hobbling with makeshift crutches, holding on to your shoulders for support, weighing you down with his weight and having been powerless had a zombie, zombies, found you.
Then again, he couldn't have blamed them. Just one sinking of teeth... just a small chunk of the juicy meat of your thighs or arms... j-just to quench his thirst for human flesh—
Ghost punched his arm, hard.
No. He couldn't.
The temptation was becoming too great to resist.
He could overpower you, could, but he could not do that.
To you, of all people. His love.
He had shut the door in your face. It was like driving his own dagger through his own heart at your forlorn face, but it had to be done. His love for you was dangerous.
Having these thoughts was dangerous. Not just thoughts to kill, but thoughts to kiss you, just once. Just once, before he died.
How he would have had liked to feel your lips on his, to bite down on your lower lip.
Harder, and harder, until he pried your mouth open with inhuman grip and snapped your jaw, ripping your gums with his own teeth, oh so delectable—
Ghost hurled the lone chair in the cellar.
"Godamnit!"
He was self-aware, but not self-aware for rational thought. Not anymore.
Only minutes ago had he been thinking straight. Now, he couldn't differentiate his desire for you, between his desire for your flesh.
Calmly, he limped towards the turned-over chair in the corner and set it straight, and slumped on top of it, feeling like a sack of potatoes.
It pained him knowing that the last time he would see your face would be frowning, your lower lip quivering, chin and cheeks blotchy from the salty, bitter tears of your argument.
You would blame yourself, would go on thinking that this was your fault.
It was never your fault. Never.
It was never your fault that he got bitten.
It was never your fault that he loved—
"Ghost?"
Your voice was shaky, hoarse with tears. At any moment, it seemed, anything to trigger you would cause your emotions to tip over in an explosion of anguish, and you could maintain your composure.
"Ghost. P-please come out. I'm sorry."
A muffled voice on the radio spoke to Ghost, yet he said nothing in reply.
Putting your ear to the door, the loud noise obscured much of what you could hear from the other side of the door, meaning you had no idea what was going on in there.
Yet, if you really, really concentrated, then you'd hear vague shuffling in the room, heavy footsteps moving things.
"Ghost? Please. Please come out."
You still waited.
Waited for Ghost to say something, anything, anything at all, to hear him respond, reply, acknowledge your presence at the door, to at least acknowledge the voice on the radio.
By the sounds of it, the voice was beginning to get emotional with Ghost's unresponsive state, his lack of reply, and it began emphatically ranting about something, all unintelligible from your side.
Slumping on the floor, your back to the door, your chest rose unevenly with each inhale, fell as unevenly with each mournful exhale.
You hadn't thought you'd really be mourning.
As, a sickening crack behind the door suddenly brought you to your senses.
Panic-stricken, you banged on the door with your knuckles. "Ghost, Ghost! You okay? Ghost!"
Knocking turned to hammering with your fists, afraid and desperate at the same time. Yelling repeatedly: "Ghost! What happened?" "Are you okay?" "Can I help?" "Ghost, please. Please!" "Say something!" "Please!"
The door would not budge, and no noise came out. Ghost would not respond. Or maybe he couldn't.
You resorted to kicking the door, using your entire body weight to tet it to open. To no avail.
"F-fuck—" Too desperate at that moment to care about the ringing from shooting from close-range, your hands scrambled for your pistol and shot the door handle multiple times, grimacing when high-pitched ringing in your ears was splitting your skull open louder than you could have anticipated.
Miraculously, the handle fell off. But something was in front of the door, and even with your entire body pressed against the door, the door stayed put.
Full of adrenaline at having made some progress, in your blind haste, you hurled your entire side to the door.
And, the door slid an inch, a vertical line revealing little in the room aside from the light from the awning window. It was progress.
Energised by this sudden success, you became a makeshift battering ram, not caring for the grey and green bruises already that had surely formed already all on your side.
Inch by stubborn inch, the door moved outwards.
The door flung open, and what had obstructed the door — a tall metal filing cabinet — crashed onto the ground, with yellowed paper spilling on the ground, fluttering like butterflies.
At the sight before you, you froze.
There Ghost was, sitting cross-legged on a chair.
That same skeleton mask, the same gear, the same body, true, but it wasn't him. Not anymore.
The sickening crack you heard moments before made sense now.
His jaw, dangling inanimately, was off-center. It was completely broken.
Dislocated, it seemed, through brute force. Broken with his own hands, his hands shining with wet, black blood.
His neck was strapped to an unfolded metal chair by his own belt. His chest and waist also were binded to the chair, but with with thick rope, tied intricately initially, then had devolved into a sloppy loop when the task got too fiddly.
His arms, likewise, were strapped to the arm rests, wrists handcuffed for good measure, yet Ghost's left forearm had broken out from his restraint, and his nails had scratched metal, deep claw marks in the armrest.
The radio had been loud. Loud, so it obscured the sound of his struggle.
You suddenly doubled over, hands on your knees, thinking that you were about to vomit.
It hit you, that he had been doing this while you had stood there, idle, none the wiser.
Immediately imagining Ghost thrashing around in this chair, fighting the spread of the disease, all the while you sat there idly and ignorantly, you regurgitated what you had eaten, tasting vomit in your mouth.
You gagged, groaning in disgust, but swallowed it all in one go and wiped your mouth with the back of your hand.
Torn between looking at Ghost and not looking at him at all anymore, you found your gaze gradually going down.
His ankles were also bound to the chair legs. One of his calves, however, was completely decomposed, to the point that you could see his tibula and the tendons in his foot.
An airy gasp escaped you, silent. No sound came out.
The skin around it had deep black veins, and had frayed, decayed, oozing a slimy pus, with maggots feeding off the rotted flesh. Already, flies had swarmed around his corpse through the open window.
It was clear. Using his last remains of sentience, what remained of his consciousness, his humanity, Ghost tied himself to this chair.
Yet, something must have told him that this wouldn't last. His belt, the ropes, and even his handcuffs wouldn't have been enough to hold him back.
As a last resort, be broke his jaw. You knew immediately why: as a final precaution, in order to prevent himself from infecting anyone. From infecting you. From biting you.
You were unbelievably calm processing all of this. Too devastated to move, you now understood the voice that was speaking to Ghost on the radio.
It was as if the sound was on mute, your world at a stand-still, and some higher power had unpaused this moment. Like some cinematic choice made by a director.
And the plot twist, was that it was neither the voice of Soap, Price, or Garrick. This was a stranger, a female, speaking:
"—a safe zone. Here, there is safety, and we can guarantee your protection."
You recognised that voice. It was the female commander talking through Ghost's earpiece.
"Humans have not yet gone extinct, and humanity in our safe zone exists.
"To anyone that is out there, you are welcomed. We will welcome you with open arms and tend to any and all of your wounds.
"You will be fed, will be given shelter, and will be a member of our community of survivors.
"If you are hearing this, our coordinates are ***°**′**″ N, ***°**′**″ E. Keep this channel on. We can track you, as long as you play this message.
"Every day, we broadcast this message at 1200 for an hour, just as we have done yesterday, the days before, and will continue to do so tomorrow.
"There is a safe zone. Here, there is safety, and we can guarantee your protection.
"Humans have not yet gone extinct, and humanity in our safe zone exists. There is food, water, warmth, and shelter. Close to seventeen thousand of us have regrouped — civillians, farmers, teachers, doctors, scientists, soldiers — and are rebuilding civilisation a day at a time.
"Your background does not matter. We take in anyone able-bodied and fit to contribute in any way possible.
"We have a pharmacy, with medication, with antibiotics, with inhalers and with insulin.
"To anyone that is out there, we will take you in, and you will be protected. You are not alone.
"I repeat, If you are hearing this, our coordinates are ***°**′**″ N, ***°**′**″ E.
"Every day, we broadcast this message at 1200 for an hour, just as we have done yesterday, the days before, and will continue to do so tomorrow—"
You shut off the radio.
Ghost had been lying to you.
Lied to you about the Task Force. Lied to you about the journey you two had been making.
Had lied about having been bitten, and it was only through chance that you had found this out.Ghost had been lying to you all this time.
You broke down in hysterics, your calmness taking a 180 all in the duration of seconds.
Why, why? Why didn't he tell you? Why couldn't he just tell you?
This whole motive, the reason to keep going, was all a lie. A pretense.
It was a selfless act, yet to you it, couldnt have been more selfish. How dared he keep this from you? How dared he? Why didn't he tell you the truth?
Curse you, Ghost! you thought, wailing in pain as hot tears cut your cheeks.
Vision blurred, you looked up, stricken with grief, and glanced into those milky white eyes of his.
For a moment, a wave of serene had crashed into you, and your crying calmed. Mind was tranquil.
Ghost wasn't thrashing around like a zombie would in his restaints.
Wasn't bearing his teeth, lunging forward to sink his canines into your flesh.
Wasn't letting out a guttural roar.
It was clear that he had before you entered, the restraints that did little to restrain him evidence of that.
Yet, he observed you in a docile manner, and his broken jaw made him look pathetic.
His eyes weren't glowing, neither, nor were they orange. Just white.
You had thought he was blind, as his pupils were pinpricks unresponsive to light, but his eyes followed your every movement, watched you intensely.
Completely still, he stared at you with unblinking eyes, unable to swat the flies landing on his eyeballs with his wrists cuffed. Maybe not even feeling them at all.
Perhaps you were imagining things, thinking irrationally when hysterical, but you swore there was more to those eyes. Recognition.
A hesitant hand moved towards his face, wavering yet unwavering in its purpose.
When you cupped his masked cheek, his eyes conveyed a certain sadness, and were apologetic, almost as if his eyes were apologising. Conveying an apology through his eyes that he couldn't ever had through words.
Silently pleading for forgiveness. For you to forgive him. To understand.
It was unbearable. You couldn't bear to look him in the eyes anymore. You couldn't bear this.
His eyes narrowed, gaze as penetrating in death as it had been while he was alive. Even more penetrative, almost as if seeing right through your very soul.
The promise. You had of course remembered. The promise you had made that night had weighed heavy on your mind ever since.
It was unbearable. The thought of what you had to do was unbearable.
You promised. You had promised. Even if Ghost wasn't one to make promises, you were.
Your pistol on the floor where you had dropped it while collapsing, shimmered in the slither of sunlight that broke through the crack in the window.
With effort, you stretched your arms and reached for it with all your might.
You couldn't bear to hold your gun in your hands. Hands were clammy, so your grip was weak, and fingers too weak to hold it properly.
Even with both hands, you couldn't steady the shaking, the swallowed sobs causing your throat to go dry, and to choke on oxygen.
Head turned away, waterfalls of tears streaming down your face in gushing rivers, you pulled the trigger.
And a deafening shot rung out, echoing in the cellar.
You knew what you had to do. You did.
You had promised him. Promised Ghost.
But you didn't have the strength to do it.
The bullet pierced through the handcuff restraining his other wrist.
The metal fell to the floor with a dull clang.
Ghost, mesmerised, raised his hand to stare at it, not fully registering to him that this was his own hand.
You broke his promise.
Guilt overwhelmed you, as you denied a dead man's wish.
Without looking up at Ghost, you crouched down, and with your pocket knife, began working at the thick ropes binding his body.
When you stood up, Ghost had not budged. Had not even moved a muscle. His eyes were on you, unblinking.
"Come on, Ghost," you whispered, in the same tone of voice that Ghost himself would use when he used to address you.
Eyes widening, he allowed you to pull him up to his feet, no longer towering over you like he always did with his back hunched over now.
Your eyes softened at the sight of him, fresh tears brimming at the corners of your eyes, but you wiped at them before they could fall, and smiled reassuringly at Ghost, the ways that his eyes would smile reassuring you.
"Our journey isn't over, s-s—soldier," you whispered, voice cracking.
"My journey has always been you, Ghost."
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A/N: Happy New Year guys !! 🎉🎉🎊🙌🎆🎇🎇 Startijg the year off strong with a fanfiction TWO MONTHS in the making!! 💥🥳🔫 Sure do hope all tjis work was worth it 😍, bc i SWEAR im not postijg anytjing for ANOTHER two months bc I am EXHAUSTED 😭😭😭😭💔💔💔
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criminalamnesia · 6 months
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Alive
warnings: angst, sad Simon Riley, reader dies, gender neutral reader, no pronouns used for reader, mentions of death, no use of y/n, proofread but I’m human and might’ve missed something
summary: Simon loses you.
author’s note: simon deserves the world.
Simon Riley understood the risks of enlisting. He understood that he was one small cog in a machine, and although valued, he wasn’t crucial. He was a soldier, just like thousands of others that decided to put their lives on the line for something they believed in. If he had to lay his life down during his service, so be it. Maybe his sacrifice would make the world a little bit better.
Simon didn’t know what he believed now.
You were like him in the way that you understood the risks, but that’s where he thought the similarities ended. He was quiet. You were outspoken. He was harsh. You were empathetic.
He was your lieutenant. You were one of his sergeants.
It was against all logic for him to fall for you, yet he had. From the moment you’d been invited to join Task Force 141, Simon knew you would cause him trouble.
He knew by the way you threw your head back and laughed at one of Soap’s cheesy lines. Knew by the way you bested Gaz at pool. At the way you’d tried Price’s drink of choice, bourbon, and swallowed it down without any fuss.
He knew by the way you saw him as he was— not just as your superior or as ‘Ghost’— but as Simon. Simon, who cared deeply for his teammates, his family, beyond what his title required. Simon, who made shitty jokes at shitty times. Simon, who bickered with you over how to properly prepare tea.
He didn’t understand why you’d shown interest in him at first. He surely thought Soap would be the one to sweep you off your feet— but you shut the Scotsman down. You only had eyes for Simon.
He found out later that it was because the two of you were more similar than he’d previously believed. You were fiercely loyal, just like him. You never backed down from a fight, just like him. You dealt with shit quietly, just like him.
You understood him, and you didn’t push. You trusted him so completely, too. Fuck’s sake, you took a bullet for him.
“Ghost, move!” You had shouted, diving out of cover to shove the Brit behind a wall.
“What the fuck?!” He yelled at you, drawing his breath in shallow pants as his eyes narrowed at you from under his mask.
“You don’t listen for shit sometimes, LT,” you were shouting to be heard over the gunfire surrounding you. “There was a fucking sniper— you were gonna be shot!”
“He was a shit shot, Sergeant. I knew he was there—”
“Ghost, just say thank you,” you rolled your eyes and straightened.
“Bloody hell,” he grumbled as his eyes scanned you, and you looked at him with confusion.
“What?”
“Maybe tha’ sniper wasn’t shit after all. Gotta get you to a medic, c’mon—” he began, reaching a hand out to grasp your arm and tug you away from the firefight.
You furrowed your brows in confusion, you had no clue what he was talking about. You looked down at your body as you allowed Ghost to drag you along. That’s when you saw the crimson peeking out from the edge of your vest, and the first pang of pain finally hit you.
“Oh, shit. Didn’t even notice,” you grumbled, and you could hear Simon grunt ahead of you.
“Adrenaline. An’ the fact tha’ you were mad at me.”
“If I was mad at you, you’d know it. Just think you should show more gratitude since I saved your life and all.”
“I’ll show gratitude when you ain’t bleedin’.” He huffed.
Fiercely loyal. It was a blessing to the team and a curse to you. Loyal to the men you called your family. Loyal to the cause. Loyal to the mission, no matter the personal cost.
Simon wished you would’ve let him take that bullet. Maybe then he wouldn’t be here with the remainder of the 141, holding the urn containing what was left of you. The gold-colored metal felt cool against his bare hands. It was almost soothing, but it would soothe him more if you were still by his side.
He knew that he’d never get the image of you laying there lifeless out of his head. It had been quick. Shot right in the fucking head, execution style. Simon hadn’t even realized what had happened until the gunfire had subsided and Soap was yelling.
His heart had nearly stopped. He knew this happened all the time— a soldier’s death. But he never expected it to happen to you.
The task force had been on so many missions together. You’d all survived so much shit, and Simon realized that up until the moment he saw your lifeless body, he’d felt that the team was somewhat invincible. Yes, he knew the risks, but all of you had gotten out of worse before. It was naive to think nothing would happen, and Simon cursed himself for it.
He knew that the abruptness of your death was the reason he couldn’t quite comprehend it. One second you’re there, warning him of a shooter to his left, and the next you’re on the ground with a bullet in your skull.
“Bravest fucking soldier I ever knew,” Price’s voice is gruff with emotion as he speaks. One of his hands rests atop the urn. “Most loyal, too. Took a bullet for all of us, one time or another.”
The other men nodded their heads.
“Kindest person I knew,” Soap spoke with a soft voice. “Outspoken, but kind.”
“Fought until the end,” Gaz said with a frown. “Rest easy, love.”
Simon knew it was his turn to say something. Tears glistened in his eyes, threatening to spill and smudge the black paint around them. He knew how to be alone. He’d spent years alone. But this wasn’t just being alone— it was being alone without you.
He didn’t think he could go back to the way things were before he met you. He didn’t want to go back to the way things were. He wanted to fight and yell and get you to come back, but it wasn’t possible.
The hand he had in the pocket of his hoodie curled into a tight fist. The hand he had on the urn didn’t waver.
He didn’t want to say goodbye, to make this final. To close the door you’d opened when you stepped into his life and turned things on its axis.
“Rest in peace, love.” He spoke at last, his voice full of barely contained emotion.
There were too many things to say, but those were the words he settled on. ‘Rest in peace.’ He truly hoped you were at peace. Simon didn’t know what he believed came after death, but he hoped that wherever you were now, you were serene.
‘Rest in peace.’ It wasn’t goodbye, not explicitly. You’d always be with him— a dagger in his heart he couldn’t bear to remove. He’d carry the pain for the rest of his service, the rest of his life.
It wasn’t goodbye. You’d always be with him.
Price removed the lid of the urn. The men slowly removed their hands from the object, allowing Simon full possession as he drew his other hand out of his pocket.
He held the metal as delicately as he would hold you. You’d always laughed and told him you weren’t glass— you wouldn’t break. Simon knew that. Of course he knew that, he’d witnessed firsthand how tough you were.
But you were precious to him, and he treated you as such.
His fingers shook the slightest bit as he turned his body to face the edge of the cliff. It was a truly beautiful place, and Simon knew that if you could’ve seen it, you would’ve loved it.
A breeze picked up as Simon slowly tipped the urn. He watched the last bits of you flow through the wind. The other men of Task Force 141 turned and walked away quietly.
Simon remained there, rooted to the spot, until he could no longer see the scattered ashes of you floating in the breeze.
709 notes · View notes
naivegh0ul · 6 months
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Ghost kisses you through the mask a lot. A peck on the forehead before he's deployed on a mission, a quick kiss through the mask when he returns home and hasn't bothered to take his mask off yet.
He doesn't really get a lot of moments to take his mask off, always being on base near other soldiers, but he treasures the moments with you when he's maskless. Nuzzles his face against yours at any given moment, kissing you all over.
His mouth is on yours most of the time he's maskless, calloused palms cupping your cheeks as he kisses you like you've been apart for years. (In Ghost’s book, a few months away from you is being apart for years)
Calls it "making up for lost time", when really he just wants to hold you close and kiss you. He misses you all the time he's on the field, so who's really going to blame him for wanting to be all over you once he's finally home?
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exist4me · 11 months
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More Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley Headcanons
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Author’s Note: just a bunch of headcanons stuck in my head. Also trying to write a full cod story which is harder than I thought so here’s this. 💖
word count 300+
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Ghost likes to watch you do makeup or your hair. He finds the whole process relaxing and he gets to know more about the products you like and what techniques you use to enhance your natural beauty. He loves seeing you dress up and express yourself through your style. He buys your products when he notices that you have a low supply
Simon has a thing for nicknames. He calls you love, darling, sweetheart, or something referring to an inside joke you guys share. 
When you’re alone with him he’s always cracking jokes, puns, and dad jokes. Anything to hear you laugh and look at him as if he’s your favorite person in the world (he is). He’s addicted to your smile he needs it in his life.
Simon hates it when you invite the 141 over for gatherings and dinners. Mostly because your attention is not on him alone. He has to share you with the guys and he doesn’t like that. He thinks you laugh way too hard at Soap and Gaz’s shenanigans. After everyone leaves you cuddle him for a while until he feels better or he pouts.
When he’s tired he tends to get sassy or extremely sarcastic.
He loves to lay his head on your chest or place his hands on your chest. It’s his safe place. He’s a big baby sometimes.
Your favorite songs tend to get stuck in his head. Lately, on base, he’s been humming and softly singing them. One day Soap realizes this and tells everyone. He was being teased the whole week. It stopped after he placed Soap in a headlock.
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mockerycrow · 7 months
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TOUCH — GHOST (FLUFFTOBER)
ghost render by the lovely @ave661 <3
flufftober masterlist — 421 words
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GHOST’S SKIN burned whenever someone touched him. It felt like electricity shooting into his tendons and veins, deep into his touch receptors, breaking past the threshold and squeezing his heart directly. It doesn’t matter who it was that touched him; it doesn’t matter who’s fingertips brushed against his scarred skin, how quick their fingers lingered there—the buzzing under his skin doesn’t leave for hours.
He’s never been one to completely avoid touch, despite the choking feeling that comes with it. He lets Johnny punch his shoulder, fist bump him; Ghost tenses whenever he feels the electric feeling shock his system. It’s worse when he’s sparring with folks; the electricity doesn’t stop, even when he’s pinning someone down to teach them how to get out of his everlasting hold. It’s almost cold like panic at first and then it blooms into an unbearably hot feeling that gets on his nerves more than the initial touch does.
Ghost feels the heat creep up from the source up under his balaclava and he nearly wants to rip the damn thing off because it feels like he can no longer breathe from a simple touch. When you brush your fingers against his arm for the first time, it throws him off-kilter; his brain short-circuiting as he feels the all consuming heat rush through his veins. His muscles move underneath his skin as he twitches, trying to comprehend what the hell just happened in his body because that definitely wasn’t the familiar burning sensation he’s used to.
It didn’t burn, it didn’t wash over him like unbearable licks of flames, no. It felt like the sun. The warmth your simple touch provided felt like snuggling up by a fireplace after coming inside after a horrible blizzard, it felt like a mug of coffee, tea, or how chocolate feels against your freezing fingers, the blood rushing back to where it's supposed to be.
Somehow, the simple graze of your fingers opened up a floodgate inside of Ghost, his chest tightening whenever he sees your fingers grasp someone else’s arm, their wrist, their shoulder. He feels so.. needy. Ghost doesn’t ever express his needs of your touch, he lets his frustrated feelings build up inside of his body, taking it out during sparring perhaps, but it’s like the static in his mind clears when he feels your fingers hesitantly brush against him, accompanied with a, “You alright, Ghost?”
He clears his throat after his mind settles, locking eyes with you, his eyes softer than ever. “Yeah. I’m alright.”
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