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criminalamnesia · 3 months

Note

Simon x Reader whose already work with TF 141 for a pretty long time. And one day, there's a traitor around the base, leaking their information. All of the proof are leading to reader but reader always deny it! And they interrogated reader, and reader always deny it! And he's (with other 141 members, of course, but it mostly him) do their torture methods to get information out of reader. They keep doing it until someday, the real traitor finally captured!

And make the reader traumatized, pls. Like, she would have trust issues, trauma, and others. She wouldn't forgive them, tho.

ooooo the angst. had to sit on this one for a few days before I wrote something, but here goes nothing.

ALL PARTS CAN BE FOUND HERE

when you blink open your eyes, the room is dimly lit. it’s silent save for the sounds of your labored breathing.

you must’ve passed out. one second johnny— a man you’d known for years—was slicing into your skin with a knife. the next, you’re staring into an empty room.

your hands jerk up involuntarily. still bound. the rope holding them to the arms of the chair have rubbed them raw. the skin is bright red and bloody. it makes you grit your teeth.

you look down at your lap, taking inventory of the parts of your body you can see. large gashes break up the fabric of your tac pants. the blood surrounding the deep wounds is dry and crusty.

one of the cuts looks like it’s getting infected. you swear you can see bone.

you’d taken this kind of suffering before. been capture by enemies, held and tortured and pushed to the brink of death. this was different. this was being done by your team. men you’d bled with. cried with. laughed with.

one you’d even slept with. the same one you loved. the one you called yours.

the door to the room swung open, hitting the wall with a metal thud. your head slowly lifts, eyes squinting to see him. by his stature, you know it’s simon.

he doesn’t bother shutting the door behind him. instead, he walks towards you slowly. as he comes closer, can make out his eyes in the sea of dark paint he smears around them. the same paint you’d helped him apply a time or two.

“back for more?” you say, and it’s meant to sound sarcastic, but all it sounds like is pitiful. your voice cracks, and pain seeps into your tone.

the first rule they’d taught you about scenarios like this was to never let the enemy know it’s working. never let them know that they’re hurting you— that they’re slowly wearing down your defenses.

well, you’d just broken that rule, and you hadn’t even meant to.

you didn’t know how long you’d been tied up, subjected to torture by men you had once called your family. all because a fucking liar whispered your name into their ears. all because they fucking believed it.

apparently the years meant nothing to them. to him, least of all, considering he’d done more damage to you than the rest of them.

simon comes to a stop in front of you. his hands are empty by his sides, but that’s not reassuring. there’s a table full of weapons off to the side. he would have his pick of the litter.

“ready to talk yet?” he says, and his voice is gruff. his tone is hollow. he’s speaking to you the same way he’d spoken to countless enemies. it makes you sick.

“fuck you, simon,” you spit out.

the betrayal of john, gaz, and johnny had hurt. but simon’s betrayal? that was enough to almost put you in the ground.

you’d stopped pleading with them the second they tied you to the chair. now, you were angry. furious. rage filled your veins, and if you weren’t beaten to all hell, you’d find a way out of these fucking restraints and strangle the man in front of you to death.

the man you loved. you’d thought you meant something to him, but apparently not— because who tortures someone they love?

“if you talk,” he ignores your outburst. “it’ll be easier. quick.”

“fuck. you.” you enunciate the words, your jaw impossibly tight as you grit your teeth. “im not the fucking rat.”

“all the evidence,” he starts as he disappears from your vision. you know he’s going to pick his weapon of the hour. you force yourself not to shudder.

“points to you.”

“take that bullshit evidence and shove it up your ass, riley,” you seethe, ropes pulling taut as you lean forward in the chair.

he’s back in your line of sight now, brandishing a large knife.

“you’re only making it harder on yourself, love,” he tuts, and then he’s swinging the knife down, right onto one of your fingers.

you scream as the blade cuts right through skin and bone. your teeth dig into your lip, drawing blood as you refuse to give him more of a reaction. it fucking hurts, but you’ll be damned if you let yourself cry.

“feel like talking now?” he asks, watching as half of your left pinky finger falls to the floor.

“or should we take off another?”

you look up at him, hoping he can see the hatred in your eyes as you speak your next words. “you could take the fucking hand off and I’d still have nothing to tell you.”

“let’s see how true that is then, eh?” he replies, and raises the knife again. he’s about to swing, when someone comes running into the room.

“ghost!”

it’s johnny. he’s obviously winded as he stops beside simon, dropping his hands to his knees as he struggles for breath.

“what, mactavish? im busy.”

“they’re—” he gasps. “they’re not— the— rat.” he says between breaths.

the room goes impossibly still. so quiet you swear you could hear the men’s heartbeats (or maybe that pounding in your ears was your own).

“you sure?” simon’s voice is softer as he lowers the knife and turns to johnny. the younger man nods, his eyes trained on you. you can see the regret in them, the sorrow.

“it’s fucking shepard.”

it’s not funny, but at the news, you burst into laughter. the men stare at you in confusion, but you can’t stop.

you’re laughing so hard you’re crying, and they’re just standing there.

“are you alrigh’?” johnny’s asking as he moves towards you. he’s fully recovered his breath now, and he drops to a crouch to be eye level with you.

you don’t answer— you can’t. you keep laughing. distantly, you hear the knife simon was holding clatter to the ground. can just make out the sound of more footsteps out in the hallway, coming towards the room.

you pass out.

when you wake up again, you’re in the infirmary. your eyes open slowly, adjusting to the bright fluorescent lights.

“easy, love,” a voice to your right drawls.

your eyes are fully open now. you look down at yourself, noticing the lack of bindings. noticing the iv taped to your arm, the stitched cuts, the black and blue bruises, the missing fingernails and missing finger.

the person sitting next to you clears his throat. that’s when you look up and meet the eyes of your captain.

your captain. the man who was supposed to lead you, to keep you safe. what a fucking joke. he’d started the damn witch hunt.

“how d’you feel?” he asks, his words soft, like he’s trying not to scare off a timid animal.

you stare at him for a beat. then two. then you’re moving, pulling the iv from your arm and shakily pushing yourself up in the bed. price is telling you to stop, reaching out to push you back down, but you slap at his hands.

“get the fuck off me!” you shout, and that takes him aback. he stops, frozen, as he watches you shift in the bed. you throw your legs over the side of it and prepare yourself to stand.

“you really shouldn’t—” he begins after he’s regained his senses, but you pay him no mind. you place your feet on the ground and start to stand. your legs wobble, almost give out, but you’re able to stand. barely.

“shut up,” you growl, stumbling forward and towards the exit. he’s moving to cut you off, and you slide him a gaze that’s sharper than a knife. “and leave me the fuck alone.”

he halts again. he seems almost scared of you— but that can’t be right. even on your best days, he would still beat you in hand-to-hand combat.

he’s not scared of your threats or your frail body. he’s scared of what he’s done to you.

just then, johnny and gaz come through the infirmary doors.

“cap, y’alright? we heard yellin’—” johnny begins, but his mouth snaps shut at the sight of you out of bed.

you’re heaving from your spot next to the bed. your legs are shaking violently, threatening to give out any second. you feel nauseous and numb.

“let’s get you back into bed,” gaz says, and he starts towards you, but you stop him as your gaze snaps to his.

“don’t come any fucking closer. any of you.”

“bonnie,” johnny murmurs. he sounds miserable, but you don’t care. don’t give a fuck about how any of them feel.

“don’t. im leaving,” you grunt out, moving a foot forward slowly. you’d be damned if you fell in front of them.

“you can’t, love. you’re in no shape to be walking.” john says, and you snarl.

“and whose fault is that?”

the men stay silent as they watch you slowly shuffle towards the foot of the bed. you’re bracing yourself to walk on your own when simon walks in.

“get back in bed,” his tone is blunt. you ignore him.

you remove your hand from the bed, move to take a step forward without support, and you begin to crumple to the floor.

simon moves forward, quick as a cat, and catches you. he lifts you into his arms bridal style, and you’re screaming hysterically. your limbs are flailing the best they can in such a battered state. you’re in fight-or-flight mode, your body betraying your desire to put up a steely front.

your palms slap against simon’s upper body and his masked face. he gives no reaction. he doesn’t say anything. the others are watching the exchange silently. the room is buzzing with tension.

“get off me!” you screech, landing a slap to simon’s cheek. “let me— let me go! let me go!” you’re gasping for breath, tears streaming down your cheeks. you’re panicking. your heart feels like it’s going to beat out of your chest.

“put me down! get— get— off me! stop—” you sob.

the doctor rushes into the room then, yelling at the men for allowing you out of bed. you can’t make out what she’s saying over the rush of blood in your ears. you feel light-headed. you can’t breathe.

“put them down, now!” the doctor yells at simon. “they’re having a panic attack— I thought I told you four to stay away from them? they’re too vulnerable right now—” the doctor is chastising them as simon places you back in the bed.

spots are dancing in your vision. you don’t even feel it when the doctor sticks another needle into your arm. the words being exchanged above your head are muffled. it’s like you’re underwater.

john’s face comes into view, then johnny’s, then gaz’s. as your eyes start to close, you notice the only face you don’t see again is simon’s.

when you wake up again, it’s been two weeks.

the doctor had put you into a medically induced coma to allow your more serious wounds time to heal, without risking another episode. unbeknownst to you, the members of your team had stayed by your bedside almost the entire time— minus simon. he hadn’t come within ten feet of the infirmary since the day of your panic attack.

there’s fresh flowers on the bedside table. a steady beeping of the heart monitor. a fuzzy feeling in your head.

it feels like a dream, all of it does. none of it feels real as you settle into your body again. but then the hurt starts, and you remember the truth.

your family betrayed you. your lover betrayed you. they locked you up and tortured you. they didn’t believe you.

when the doctor came to your side to check your iv, she smiled.

“how’re you feeling?”

you look up at her, and it takes a moment for you to speak.

“don’t,” you begin. your mouth feels like it’s full of cotton. “don’t let them…in here. don’t…wanna see them.”

the doctor nods in understanding, and she doesn’t say anything else to you. she turns and walks out of the room.

the door clicks shut behind her. she lets out a sigh before turning around to face the three men.

“they don’t want to see you.” she tells them, and their expressions drop. they don’t protest, and like wounded puppies, they walk off.

no one else comes to check on you for a few hours.

you’re in and out of consciousness— can’t tell what’s real and what’s a dream. flashes of your torture come back to you. flashes of a smile. of a scarred face. of hands on your hips and—

you crack your eyes open, and the room is dark. the only light is the blinking of some of the machines. it illuminates the room enough to allow you to see a large, dark figure slip from the room. the door clicks shut so quietly it’s almost imperceptible.

that’s when you notice fresh flowers on the bedside table.

your eyes start to droop once more, and you chalk up whatever you just saw to a dream, while simon exhales heavily on the other side of the infirmary door.

————————————————

authors note:

I hope this alright! it’s one in the morning (and I’m half asleep writing this) so I apologize for the errors that are most likely present, and the sense this most likely lacks. I feel like I could write a whole book about this idea, but im cutting myself off to sleep lol.

thank you for the ask, I hope I did your idea justice. 🫶

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syoddeye · 2 months

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"Please, just a couple more times? Please?"

Your kid is relentless. You're tired from a whole afternoon of fun, and your arm's sore. You gently explain this to them, smiling weakly when they pout. Then you look at your husband, whose eyes shock you. Simon looks as letdown as the kid. The paper of his face mask subtly moves, and your brow pinches in confusion, unable to make out what he's trying to say. Then he lifts his free hand. Three. Three more.

You huff, a little grin overtaking your weariness. You're reminded these moments are not just for the kid, who holds one hand each as they walk between you, but for Simon, too.

It breaks your heart when you think of what he did not have or experience as a child.

So, you bend slightly and squeeze your kiddo's hand.

"Okay, three more swings. Then my arm's going to fall off."

Your kid giggles madly as you and Simon swing them again. Simon's gaze is fond and soft, low chuckles rumbling out as he watches the kid's feet come up off the ground. When you inevitably reach swing number three, your eyes meet again. This time, it's you who raises three fingers.

Simon deserves all this and more.

#simon ghost riley #simon riley #ghost cod #simon 'ghost' riley #simon riley x reader #simon riley x gn reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley x gn reader #ghost x reader #ghost x gn reader #x reader #x gn reader #i got hit like a mack truck with worms when i saw a cute little family earlier

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poquiii · 1 year

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König x reader / Ghost x reader headcanons

You're sitting on their lap.

Ghost

● He's not a fan of PDA and acts cold in public.

● But when you're alone, he likes bodily contact with you.

● You walk by and he grabs you by the waist, pulling you toward him and gently placing you in his lap.

● He likes to feel your weight on his muscular thighs.

● He touches your ear with his lips and tickles your skin with his breath.

● You giggle and he presses you closer to him.

● If you start fidgeting on him, (on purpose or not) he quickly swaps places with you and pushes you under him. And of course you don't mind.

König

● He really likes your touch in any form.

● And he especially loves the way you sit on his lap with your arms around his neck.

● You weigh almost nothing to him or he just doesn't notice it.

● He loves to hug you back and nuzzle you against his huge chest.

● He loves to interrupt your hair with his fingers.

● If you fall asleep in his arms, he's happy to doze off with you.

● He's willing to sit with you like this for hours.

● And even when his feet get stiff, he won't let you get off him.

My AO3 🖤

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waves-against-a-cliff · 1 month

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The thing you did that made the 141 men think 'Im gonna marry them'

Content Warnings - Fluff. Sexual themes but no smut.

Gaz - It's cliche really. But he loves it when his partner can eat. Maybe not all the time, not all types of food. Maybe it's literally one specific thing you can eat pounds of. Whatever it is, he had taken you to a buffet and watched with hearts in his eyes as you devoured it. Not in a feederist kind of way but in a... Breeding sort of way. Doesn't matter if you lack the actual parts, can't get pregnant due to birth control or other outside forces. He thinks to himself, "I'm gonna marry them." Doesn't even realize hes thought it until he hears it in his head.

Price - He saw you rush across a busy street (he nearly had a heart attack) and stop traffic because you saw a pair of turtles trying to cross the street. Carefully you picked them up and placed them to where they were heading to. You even waved and said goodbye to them. Your kindness made him smile and chuckle. He realized then he wanted to marry you.

Soap - You were playing with his nieces and nephews at a family party. Chasing them around and playing their games. Laughing and sneaking some more dessert. He loves seeing you with kids, his eyes are on you all night and he thinks, "I'm gonna marry them."

Ghost - He took you axe throwing. He didn't expect you to be this good at it. The way it seemed so natural to you and how the axe embedded itself into the wall. You smiled up at him, a feral gleam in your eyes. He hands you another axe just to watch the way your arm muscles tense and to see the same look on your face when it hits its target. Spare strands of your hair stick to your slightly sweaty face and you comment about how much you like this. As he watches you wrench the axe from its spot, he can only think of how badly he wants to marry you.

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mockerycrow · 8 months

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What about helping Ghost wash his hair? Like him being so vulnerable to let you see him like that, ha hang on my chest hurts thinking about it

Soft Moments: Ghost Edition (GN!Reader)

ghost masterlist

my fourth installment of the soft moments miniseries!! this might be the last one, or i might do one more for one of the girls <3 and ghost is blonde in this because i’ll die on the hill of reboot!ghost w/ brown eyes + blonde hair, and 09!ghost w/ blue eyes and brown hair!!!

consider supporting me on ko-fi? trying to pay for college, no pressure!!

[WARNINGS: Slight allusion to angst, 100% fluff!]

Simon had a hard time being, well.. Simon. Off of the field, when he’s on leave, he struggles deeply with the change in routine. He struggles with the vulnerability, and you would think when he’s on the field, he would have a hard time putting up the Ghost persona—he doesn’t, because it’s become his second skin. It took him a very long time for him to be comfortable without his mask for long periods of time. He pushed Simon down inside of him a lot, for a very long time—Simon and Ghost were the same, but with you? Simon has come back to him. Obviously, Simon and Ghost are the same person, but his military mentality slips away from him just long enough to show Simon, disregarding his engrained military habits. So, when Simon has you sitting on the edge of the tub, his tired eyes looking back at you, face bare—you realize how much trust he has in you. You have the shower nozzle in your hand, spraying warm water, testing the temperature with your hand.

“Tilt your head back.” You murmur, and he quietly complies. He tilts his head far back for you, and he closes his eyes. It’s funny to see such a big, muscular man sitting in a tub with his knees to his chest, but you love the sight. How relaxed his shoulders are, how he trusts you enough to close his eyes without the mask on—you gently spray the water through his short, blonde hair, the warmth of the water traveling down his scalp and traveling down his back before dripping down into the tub. He lets out a muffled, quiet groan as you let the water run down his scalp, and you cup your other hand to avoid any stray water droplets from going into his eyes. You shut the water off, allowing the shower nozzle to hang beside his head. “I’m grabbing the shampoo, alright?” You say softly as to not to disturb the peace that has settled across you two. He nods, and Simon does not open his eyes. He appreciates you verbalizing your actions—he’s done a lot with trying to trust you with his eyes closed, and you being so willing to verbalize what you’re doing means a lot to him, even if he doesn’t know how to say him.

You open the shampoo bottle and you squeeze it into your palm, until you close the bottle with one hand by pressing the lid against your palm and pressing down, the bottle closing with a click. You set it aside, and you rub the shampoo into both of your hands before you lean down and your fingers run through his scalp and his hair, apply slight pressure to scrub. You watch the tension in his eyebrows melt away, and you can’t help but take this chance to admire his face while his eyes are closed. You thoroughly scrub his scalp and his hair, making sure every inch is lathered in soap. “You’re staring again.” Simon rasps without opening his eyes, you smile. You don’t respond with words—you simply lean down and press a quick and soft kiss to his cheekbone, and you swear his upper lip twitches, almost into a smile for a second. “I’m going to wash the shampoo out now, Simon.”

You wash the shampoo out just like you said you would, making sure none is left. You keep the water a comfortable, warm temperature for him. You let him know you’re going to apply the conditioner now, and when you turn back to him, his eyes are open. You pause for a moment as you make eye contact, wondering if you did something to startle him—but he’s staring at you with such a.. soft look. A vulnerable one. He motions for you to continue and you obey, lathering your hands in the conditioner. He hums when your fingers touch his scalp, reaching up and grabbing a wrist of yours, and his thumb strokes the inside skin of your wrist. You smile and nod, because you know he’s thanking you—for washing his hair, for accepting all of him.

You wouldn’t have him any other way.

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antiquecowdoy · 2 months

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♡; obsessed with older man!boyfriend being so mean n making you work for your orgasm :(

♡; you were bratty nd said you didnt need him to cum, it was the heat of the moment, he wasn't meant to take it literally!!

♡; nd now he's being so mean! youre not allowed to touch whats his, so hands off that pretty hole! but he's left you for weeks and you're getting so desperate...

♡; youre like a bitch in season, everything is getting you going and its so unfair, but no matter how much you beg and plead, 'you don't need him to cum'

♡; youve been so good as you stumble into his office, all bleary eyed, your insides throbbing desperate for release.

♡; how can he say no to you? especially looking like that, all worked up and pent up because of him? poor baby... he's been so cruel to you, hm?

♡; but he's here now. he's here to save you now. he's so busy too, providing for you and here he is, letting you be all needy and pathetic for him.

♡; how generous of him, patting his thighs and letting you all but crawl on your hands and knees up to him, begging for his dick to split you in half.

♡; how silly of you... thinking he would waste his time fucking you while he's working? you can't be that stupid, really.

♡; three. two. one.

♡; the realisation dawns on you as you realise what he wants. you need to ride his thigh. like a dog.

♡; you don't even have the time to process how gross that is as he bounces his leg, bumping up between your thighs. he's so mean, making you to start rocking back and forth, forcing you to hump his thigh.

♡; look at you? dribbling and leaking all over him, panting and whining, moaning like a whore into his neck, the shoots of pleasure up your spine wracking your body. and he's ignoring you! he hasn't looked at or touched you once!

♡; the rough fabric of his pants, catching on you with every roll of your hips, nipping on you all engorged and sensitive.

♡; look at you? humping his leg? getting off on rutting against his thigh like a pathetic mutt.

♡; you can't help yourself, shoots of burning pleasure up your spine, your toes curling as your core tightens before you begin to spurt all over yourself and his thighs, seeping into his clothes :(

♡; he doesn't even react! just a deep chuckle at how pathetic and needy you are, his rough hands patting your arse, letting your post orgasm haze cloud that silly little head of yours.

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shuosen · 5 months

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afab! simon ‘ghost’ x top! amab! reader

cw: tall! reader, unmasked reader, cunnilingus, praise, degradation, hair pulling (r), overstim, slapping

ghost is a big man. he’s tall, extremely fit, has big hands, big pecs, a big ass- everything about him is just big, so you can imagine his surprise when he meets you, a new recruit- younger than him and leaner than him, but much taller.

After he met you, his fantasies didn’t stop. maybe he’s bigger than you, but you weren’t small yourself. He thinks you could easily manhandle him, use him to your liking, make him a whore, just for you. he found himself wanting more and more, until he finally decided that the lonesome stimulation on his pussy wasnt enough, and he wasn’t going to wait anymore.

he called you in, offered a drink, just to loosen you up, to assure you that you were in no kind of trouble. he urged you to sit on the couch, not the chair, and promptly sat beside you, slinging his arm behind you.

of course, he was straightforward. whats he got to be ashamed of, and what has he got to lose?

“say, C/N.. you into men?” he asked, crossing his legs and swirling the drink in his glass. You almost choked, but not out of surprise, out of laughter. you laughed unceremoniously, pushing your hair out of your face, and leaning to look at him.

“are you asking if i’m into men, or if i’m into you?”

“what does it matter?” He asked, setting his glass down next to him.

“If you’re asking if i’m into you,” you started, letting your eyes run down to his thighs, before looking back to his face with a raise of your eyebrows. “well, i might just expect something out of this visit.”

Ghost dropped on the bed, huffing out a desperate breath while pulling you towards him by his hands in your hair, the two of you sharing a sloppy kiss, as you blindly pulled at his belt, pants, and underwear. After getting them to his mid thigh, he pushed them off the rest of the way, pulling his mask further up, the heat of the room seeming to rush down on him as soon as your hands found purchase on his bare skin.

Your eyebrows raised in intrigue as you met with his bare pussy, but you didn’t dwell on it any further, opting to grab his hips, and pull him toward you, taking note on the breathy groan that followed, leaning down so you were face to face with his sloppy folds.

chuckling softly as you spread them apart, you commented on how wet he was, before licking a tentative stripe from his hole to his small cock, savoring the taste of his slick and listening to the soft moan he let out. You admired his glistening folds for a few moments more, almost teasing him as he grew impatient, before diving into his pussy, devouring him first thing.

Ghosts legs twitched and closed around your head, and your cock twitched in your pants. suckling on his cock, you held his hips down tightly as they tried bucking upwards, a loud ‘shit!’ being punched from him as you moved down slowly, eating his hole like a delicious meal.

You’d barely gotten started and his legs had already started quivering, so you took it upon yourself and inserted a finger, licking right above his hole as you did. another one slowly entered next to the first, pumping them in and out slowly, the movements of your tongue being complete opposite.

ghost writhed on the bed, his large hands gathering in your hair, his hips twitching shaking. “comin’! come-!” He cried out, biting onto his pale lips. You retracted your mouth, leaning up and moving your fingers, before thrusting them in and out at a fast pace. each thrust of your fingers punched a whine out of him, his back arching from the bed.

“go ahead,” you whispered, pressing down on his stomach to keep him flat, “cum.” he came with a muffled cry, his legs bending and closing around your arm.

“good boy,, did so good f’me, moanin’ like a whore before i even fucked you.”

his breaths were still heavy and stuttering, but he pulled your hair, making you fall towards him with a groan, catching yourself with your hands on either side of his chest, as he locked his legs around your hips.

“fuck me now, and i’ll moan s’m more.” he almost growled, making you grin while grabbing his wrist roughly, and pulling it out of your hair.

as soon as your cock slipped into his hole, he fell into a dazed state, his red, teeth marked lips falling open as he moaned out, his arms starting to fall off your shoulders. you flinched at the tightness of his hole, your hips stuttering before you bottomed out.

“shit- ghost, s’ fuckin’ tight.” you huffed, adjusting how you were kneeling, waiting for him to come back to himself.

“muh-move, damnit.” he coughed, latching his nails onto your back. you listened well, beginning to slide your cock out of him, watching as your tip caught on his hole, before slamming inside. the moan that escaped him was sinful, and you swear if you could, you’d get the sound tattooed.

“fuckk.” you mumbled with a grin, beginning to slam into him quickly, the sloppy nature of your thrusts being made up for in speed and strength. your hips seemed to fuck into him harsher than he could’ve ever imagined, and he thinks he’ll go brain dead anytime soon at this rate.

your cock brushes against his prostate, and his moans stutter. your thrusts slow down as you angle your hips, before you’re pistoning away directly into his prostate and he cant do anything but scream, his aching pussy twitching around your cock as he cums for the second time. you slap the side of his ass, evoking a loud cry from his throat, before doing it again.

“shit! shi- shit! s’ too much, fuck!” he cries, surprised at himself for being able to make a legible sentence, as his throat feels dry, while producing too much saliva at the same time, and his tongue feel tied. your cock hits his most sensitive spot each time, deeper than he can reach on his own and he swears he might actually go insane, his mind blank and reeling at the same time.

“you can take it- fuck.. you like this, don’t you? being treated like a cock slut.”

ghost whines at your words, his body bouncing with each of your thrusts, and he pushes his hands against the bed, trying to pull himself away from you for just a second- he just needs a break- but you just slam his hips back down on your cock, and he practically sobs.

“i asked you a question.” you huff, slapping his thick thigh.

“i- i like it! oh fuck!” he groans, his knuckles turning white, a contrast to his burning body as he clenches the bed sheets beside your knees, the solid grip on his thighs and hips leaving red marks.

“there we go.” you moan breathily, moving one of your hands to twirl the tip of his cock between your fingers.

“n-no! fuhCK! WAIT!” he moans, his words breaking off into a pornographic whine that sounds too feminine to have come from him. your hips never falter, even as he comes for the third time, his sloppy cunt squirting all on your lower stomach and the sheets. you laugh, slightly shocked as he soaks your abdomen, continuing to play with his dick.

“nuh-noo! cant! u-ughk!” ghost sobs loudly, his hips twitching and bucking, his hands moving to dig into your arm, thick legs shaking against you as he struggles between pulling you closer or pushing you away, wishing you’d at least slow down your unforgiving thrusts into his cunt.

“shh, shh baby, i’ve got you.” you mumble, pulling his head onto your chest, your hips slowing to slow grinds as his noises slow to hiccups and loud whines.

“thats it.. but you’ve still gotta make me cum.” you grin, pecking his lips and returning your thrusts to their previous pace and ghost squeals, his eyes rolling back as another orgasm is ripped from him.

he got what he wanted, but at what cost.

please like and reblog to show your support! <3

#ghost cod #ghost x gn reader #ghost x amab reader #ghost x male reader #simon ghost riley #sub ghost #sub simon riley #top amab reader #top male reader #top gn reader #sub cod #bottom ghost #☆ shuowrites

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katz-chow · 8 months

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hey 😏

MY TURN TO REQUEST 😈

how do you think Ghost would feel about his s/o who hates being touched but only allows him to touch them??? 😋😊

touchy feelies

warnings: gn! reader, combat medic! reader, gn!reader, pinning, a bit of mental exhaustion & guilt, self hair pulling

simon flinches if he’s caught off guard on base when someone gives him a friendly tap. even if it’s just soap who ends up giving him a friendly tap. he knows why that is, he just refuses to acknowledge it.

so when it comes to you, precious you, he gets it. he sees the way you side eye someone when they put a hand on your shoulder and how you shrug it off. he sees the way you avoid hugs like the plague. he sees you give weak smiles in exchange for pats on the back. he sees it all, he sees you.

the first time that you let him touch you, you both were skittish as can be. it was a simple fist bump but he knows it meant a lot to you. it was symbolic even. you initiated it, and thank god because simon would never push any boundaries, he wouldn't want it himself. it was simple really; a mission done well, you both staying alive with no major injuries, it was pretty ideal. as you both were about to land on the air-evac, you turn to him, a grin on your lips, "good to be alive sometimes huh?"

simon stared at you and your fist raised up a bit, he gulped but goddamnit, he couldn't resist it. he bumped his fist into yours and that alone made the both of you giggle on the inside like a crushing schoolgirl.

soap stared in utter confusion.

the next time you let him touch you was in the medical bay. you weren't broken, physically at least, but having to be on your feet all day with the weight of all those lives you couldn't save made you sick. it usually doesn't make itself known, today was just not a good day. simon was on his way to hit the showers when he walked past the open door, seeing you hunched over a crash cart, your head in your hands. the grip on your hair tightened and you looked just about to pull it all out.

he couldn't control his feet but soon he found himself backtracking and knocking on the door to get your attention. his body was attracted to you, drawn to you like a moth to a flame. he was hesitant when you looked up at him, awaiting what he had to say. soon he was a mere two steps besides you. you stood up a bit straighter, head lifted and eyes focused on him.

his hand found your back, lighting touching your camis. "you're doing good, kid"

you don't know why but you didn't hate his touch, it was a good warmth. you stared at him. you tried to breathe it all in, and soon you found yourself breathing him in, a hug that you actually wanted for once. physical touch was new to the both of you, it was awkward, arms loosely around each other, but it wasn't uncomfortable.

the next morning he saw you just about barked at someone trying to throw an arm around your shoulders for a picture. he laughed to himself, a bubbly feeling in his chest.

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criminalamnesia · 2 months

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the 141 x reader fic that you did was so yummy!!! pls make them suffer the wrath of reader and make 141 realise how much they need them when they leave,

your work is so amazing btw and your way with words is simply ✨chef’s kiss✨ (((o(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)o)))♡

thank you!! here’s part 3 :)

ALL PARTS CAN BE FOUND HERE

angry didn’t even begin to describe how you felt as you slammed the door to price’s office behind you.

you were tense, muscles taut and poised to fight. your fists clenched at your sides, blunt nails digging into your palms hard enough to hurt. your jaw was clenched, teeth grinding together as you resisted the urge to march back in there and unleash your fury.

no. not like this. not when you weren’t a hundred percent. not when they would still look at you like you were a wounded doe, stumbling around on broken legs.

in the back of your mind, you can hear that psychologist saying ‘this anger will eat you alive if you let it. you need to let it out somehow.’

you inhaled, unclenched your fists, and made up your mind. you pulled the iv from your arm, wincing at the pinch of the needle.

you left the iv pole standing there as you made your way to the gym.

the gym was empty when you arrived, which made sense for this time of day. many would be occupied by drills or in the mess hall. others would be sleeping off long nights. you had the place to yourself, and you were grateful for the absence of watchful eyes and sweetened tongues.

you were tired of those who knew nothing acting like they knew something. of those who apologized or asked if you were okay. word spread like wildfire around base, and the subject of your ‘betrayal’ had been front-page news since the start of the witch hunt.

the gym door clicked shut behind you, and you surveyed the room. you knew your doctor would have a fit once you returned to the infirmary, and that she probably wouldn’t let you out alone again, but you didn’t really care.

you needed to let off some steam, and the best way you knew how was with your fists. either you start swinging at a bag or at a certain someone’s face. the bag won’t be condescending, and that makes your choice easy.

you approach one of the bright red punching bags in the corner. it’s scratched and taped from where someone had busted it open. scars that didn’t go away, that wouldn’t— just like yours.

you huffed. it didn’t do any good to start feeling sorry for yourself. you hadn’t done anything wrong. your team had.

you stretch your arms out in front of you, fingers interlocking to pop your knuckles. you catch sight of your severed finger, still healing. they’d recovered what had been chopped off, but hadn’t been able to save it.

just another permanent reminder, something to make sure you didn’t dare forget. you didn’t think you ever would regardless.

you shook out your hands and rolled your shoulders back. fists raised, you angled yourself towards the bag. feet spread, shoulders squared, thumb tucked under your fingers instead of inside. a stance that was second nature after years of sparring and hand-to-hand drills.

the bag was firm when your fist connected with it. you would have been lying if you said it didn’t hurt. you punched with the other hand— same results. the time you’d spent confined to an infirmary bed had done a number on you. muscles had atrophied, bones had weakened. the leg you’d suffered a bone-deep cut to shook under your weight.

you didn’t care. you kept punching, your breathing picking up as your emotions guided you. sweat dripped into your eyes and rolled down your back. you felt weak, physically and mentally. you hated feeling this way, and so you punched harder.

“slow down,” a voice grumbled from behind you.

you ignored him, continuing to punch the bag. you hadn’t heard the door open, nor heard the sound of him approaching, but you would have been surprised if you did.

simon always had a penchant for sneaking up on people, intentionally or not.

“gonna pass out if y’don’t stop,” he said after a minute. you could feel his eyes on you. you ignored him again.

you didn’t need to turn around to know he was standing there with his arms crossed, eyes full of something unreadable.

“stop,” he says firmly, and you sense his movement as he surges forward. his hand lands heavily on your shoulder, pulling you back from the punching bag. you heave in a breath before spinning around and punching him in the nose.

simon stumbles back a step, eyes widened slightly. for someone who prided himself on being so observant, he clearly didn’t see that coming. it made you feel the tiniest bit smug that you’d caught him off guard for once.

you dropped your hands to your knees then, squeezing your eyes shut as a wave of nausea washed over you. damn the bastard, he had been right. you shouldn’t have even been in here in the first place, let alone exerted yourself as much as you had.

your hands were shaking as you tried to pull yourself together. you opened your eyes to see drops of blood on the gym floor, by your feet. you had split your knuckles open.

there were also drops of blood at simon’s feet. you looked up then, slowly straightening your posture. he’d removed his mask, his face bare as he stared at you. blood dripped from his nose.

“gonna have to hit harder than that if y’want to break it,” he says, and you narrow your eyes at him.

“did you follow me in here?”

“no.” he says, and you’re giving a mirthless laugh.

“oh, please. im sure price sent you, yeah? you’ve always been his little lap dog. he says ‘jump’ and you say ‘how high,’ isn’t that right, lieutenant?”

your tone is tense, angry. you throw his title in his face, seeing as he’d been so quick to remind you of yours back in price’s office.

simon watches you, and you want to tackle him. he had always been quiet, always stoic. you’d been with him for years, but you still didn’t think you’d broken down all of his walls.

he was so good at masking his thoughts, his feelings. you weren’t. soap had always called you an open book. whenever you were mad or upset, everyone knew it.

no one knew anything about simon unless he wanted them to. it drove you mad then, and it was sure as hell driving you mad now.

“you need to get back to the infirmary,” he tells you. he wipes the back of his hand under his nose, smearing red across his skin. for a moment, you want to chastise him, reach up and wipe the remnants from his face.

you quickly shake that thought from your head. what is it they say— old habits die hard?

these habits would die if you had to strangle each one with your bare hands. anything you harbored for the four men on your team, for the one you’d called yours, was dead and gone.

“fuck off,” you tell him.

“why are you so damn stubborn?” he says then, and it’s the first time you’ve seen him start to crack since everything had happened. emotions are beginning to leak through his stony exterior, whether he means them to or not.

“you don’t get to tell me what to do anymore. none of you do,” you say, and you take a step forward then, eyes blazing as you stare up at him. “not after what you did.”

he doesn’t speak for a moment, as if gathering his thoughts. his eyes never leave yours.

“it shouldn’t have happened like that.” he tells you. you scoff.

“like that? you mean the four of you torturing me? tying me up and mutilating me like I was just another fucking target?” your voice was rising as you took another step forward, shoving a finger into his chest.

“if I’d treated you like another target,” he said, tone even. “you would’ve been dead.”

“so you showed me mercy, is that it?” you bared your teeth, a hollow laugh escaping your throat. “oh, thank you simon. I really felt that fucking mercy when you cut off my finger, and when you cut through layers of skin to get to bone.”

you inhaled before continuing. “I should be grateful then, right? is that what you want from me? for me to recognize your fucking ‘mercy’ and take you back? take you all back?”

he just stands there. you can see his jaw clench, but he makes no move to speak. you find it funny that he hasn’t even tried to apologize. john, your ever prideful captain, had swallowed his failure and pleaded for your forgiveness.

johnny and kyle would surely have done the same if they’d had the chance to speak to you, even if they only had a minute.

but simon? simon doesn’t. he doesn’t outwardly admit his wrongs. he doesn’t apologize. doesn’t seem sorry, even. you don’t know what’s going on inside his head, but you find yourself not really caring to know.

the fact that he can’t bring himself to admit, in blunt words, that he had astronomically fucked up and that he felt even the slightest bit of remorse, told you everything you needed to know.

cold, stoic ghost. you hadn’t been afraid of him when you’d first joined the squad, and you weren’t afraid of him now.

but back then, you’d wanted to break down those stone walls of his. you’d wanted to be someone he felt safe around, someone who knew him inside and out.

now, you’re packing your time with him into a box in your mind and dumping it into the trash. simon riley means nothing to you now.

“take your mercy and shove it up your ass,” you tell him. you step back and drop your hand, your eyes still locked on his.

“and by the way,” you say as you start towards the door. he doesn’t turn around, doesn’t move an inch. it’s as if he’s rooted to the spot.

“you should’ve just killed me.”

author’s note:

not really sure how I feel about this one tbh. I have plans for a part four, but I’m not quite sure how long I’ll be making this series.

and as for simon— I want to write an extra part about his thoughts/feelings about everything. let me know if that’s something you’d be interested in!

anyways, let me know your thoughts please :) (I honestly may end up deleting this and rewriting it when I’m not tired lol)

taglist: @preeyansha @igotmajordaddyissues @nanatheoaktree @aesthetic0cherryblossom @oceanicexolorer @soph121212 @liv2post @cupid-eclipse @angels-despair18 @k4marina

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gazspookiebear · 1 month

Text

Ugh I'm so sleepy. Eepy man. Enjoy this shit I cooked up in ten minutes.

You wake up, only to find yourself just as tired as you were a few hours ago. Your eyelids are heavy, and you're fighting back sleep with every blink. Exhaustion wracking your body with every movement.

You feel Simon groan and sit up next to you.

"Mmm... five more minutes?" You mumble sleepily, shivering at the sudden lack of warmth.

"'M sorry love, we've gotta get up"

"Please? I'm so tired..." You whine quietly

"Negative," he says, chuckling at your miserable pout.

"Please, Si?" You say it so sweetly. The nickname you rarely used. His weakness.

A moment passes before you finally hear a response.

"Fine."

You grin, knowing that you've won. He lays back down and wraps his arm around you, pulling your back to his chest. You close your eyes and sleep quickly overtakes you.

Of course, it was never just 'five more minutes'. Simon called your work shortly after and informed them that you wouldn't be coming in today. However that works.

#I'm actually so tired it's unreal #Dying out here #Ofc I didn't get to take the day off. I have to suffer #Who knew exhaustion was what would make me write smt #That's crazy #Got less than 2 hours of sleep #Which actually normally doesn't bother me #But I guess it adds up over time #*shocked pikachu face*#If only I had a Simon in my life #simon ghost riley #cod x reader #ghost x reader #ghost x gn reader #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x gn reader

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poetslastdeath · 2 months

Text

continuing off of unhinged reader, imagine them being so protective of the tf141 boys like

walking through the streets of las almas, rain pouring down heavily from a pitch black sky, blood running through the cracks of stone and pouring into the veins of the city like rich poison.

a muffed guttural scream gets stuck in the throat of a dying shadow, he tries to kick but he might as well have already been a decaying cold corpse. his body thuds to the ground heavily, neck a mess of blood and bones and so unrecognizable that it looks like the work of a wild wolf.

While soap makes his way through the houses and alleys of a darkening las almas, the air seems to become heavier and heavier the closer he gets to the church. but what he sees on the way, makes even him want to hurl.

blood splattered on old cracking floral wallpaper, hardwood floors stained with so much blood that it looks black, a gun that he can recognize as one of the shadows snapped in half like it was a toothpick, bones crushed and snapped in similar fashion.

screams cut off before they can leave the throat, the sound trying to claw its way out with the hope of salvation, only to find nothing but the cold press of death closing their eyes.

sometimes, they hardly looked like they used to be human, so distorted and mutilated that it looks as if they were turned inside out.

and around every corner he swears he can see just the edge of a figure wearing the shadows like a coat, drenched in crimson, bare hands itching for the next victim. but by the time he gets there, breath sharp in his lungs, his shoulder pulsing dully, they are gone like a cold winters breeze. the air brushes against his skin and it almost feels like a gentle touch.

It's an odd thing, the shadows were so focused on ghosts and johnny, that they forgot about you. their reaper.

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poquiii · 1 year

Text

Ghost x reader / König x reader

Sleeping Headcanons

Ghost.

● He goes to bed late, and very often you don't wait for him to fall asleep.

● He sleeps on his back with his arms folded at his sides. This is a comfortable position if you have to wake up in the middle of the night to go on a mission.

● When you're around, however, he lets himself relax. He puts his arms around you, pressing your back against his chest.

● He likes to listen to your deep breathing, it soothes him.

● He sleeps without a pillow.

● He wakes up several times a night.

● It helps him to ground himself with your legs slung around his waist or your arms hugging his biceps.

● When he's away on missions and has to sleep alone, it's hard for him to accept the absence of your warmth by his side.

● And often, waking up in the middle of the night alone, he reaches out to your side of the bed. And not finding you there, he begins to panic.

● He sleeps very sensitively and wakes up every time you get up in the middle of the night, no matter how hard you try not to make noise.

● He is plagued by nightmares, but he never tells you about them.

● However, if you really talk him into it, he will gladly let you nestle his head on your chest, stroking his back. He closes his eyes, listening to your breathing.

● He sleeps quietly, but sometimes he may twitch because of a nightmare he can't wake up from. It embarrasses him greatly and he always apologizes to you, kissing your cheek and wrist.

● Always gets up early by his internal alarm clock.

● But moves quietly, trying not to wake you up.

● Always kisses you on the temple before you go out. And always lifting his mask up to his nose to touch you with his bare lips.

● And no matter how restless his sleep was, with you by his side, he fell asleep calmly and quickly for the first time

König

● He was used to huddling on the bed so as not to take up too much space, since the army rarely had beds his size.

●With you, that habit remained, even though your shared bed was just huge.

● He's afraid of crushing you with his weight, so he tries to keep his distance. you don't like this and you often snuggle up to him in your sleep and he gently pushes you away.

● But he still loves to touch you.

● He holds your hand, tangles his feet in your legs, much smaller and shorter.

● He always sleeps on his side and most of the time faces you. He likes to wake up looking at you.

● It would take him several months of your obsessive cuddling at night to drown his anxiety in the tenderness and affection you showed him. Since then, he's already braver to move closer to you and coil himself around you like a giant cat.

● Sometimes he sniffs in his sleep, especially when you stroke and kiss his face while he sleeps.

● He is always hot and often throws off the blanket. Quite often right on top of you, by the way.

● He dreams a lot. Not terrible nightmares, but rather disturbing dreams, after which he has to breathe heavily for a few minutes, staring at the ceiling, before he can go back to sleep.

● When it's cold in your bedroom, he hugs you to warm you with his warm body until you fall asleep.

● Likes to stroke your hair as you sleep.

● He doesn't like waking up early, especially on weekends.

● He prefers to cuddle you for a couple more hours after you both wake up, inhaling the smell of shampoo from your hair.

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yawnderu · 4 months

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Simon would love fish and chips🫠🥺

I'm gonna be fully real with you, this man would absolutely devour beans on toast. He'd give them to you for breakfast thinking it's a regular thing, and just raises an eyebrow when you stare at the plate like it's gonna bite you

#cod mwii #ghost mw2 #simon ghost riley #simon riley #cod mw2 #call of duty #simon ghost x reader #ghost cod #simon riley x you #simon riley x reader #ghost x f!reader #ghost x you #ghost x reader #ghost x y/n #ghost x gn reader #stray answers

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mockerycrow · 8 months

Text

UNDER THE SURFACE (Ghost x GN!Reader)

ghost masterlist — ghost icon by @yumethefrostypanda concept post here!

authors note; this is not my best work tbh, i wish i could improve it somehow, but i’m hoping you guys will like it anyway. Pretty sure this is my longest singular post, too! 4.7k words :-)

[WARNINGS: angst, spiraling thoughts, near panic attack, hurt/comfort, inaccurate medical stuff, vague descriptions of physical violence, very brief mention of possible self harm.]

YOU WERE USED to Simon being gone for long periods of time; you have been his roommate for two years now, nearly three. You know he’s military, it’s part of the reason why you were able to score being his roommate in the first place. At first, it was a very awkward arrangement. Simon himself wasn’t a very awkward person, no—he’s actually quite charismatic in his own way, a way that you could get along with. One of the reasons why the arrangement was strange at first was because you weren’t exactly able to get a one on one tour of the flat before agreeing, but you were a bit more trusting of this mysterious man because a mutual friend—Kate—sent you his contact information, considering you were looking for a new place to live since your lease was up.

Simon’s flat was void of any personality, really. Yes, you could tell by the way he organized everything that he had been in the military, probably for quite a while—but there weren’t any photos. No gaming systems; you discovered he did have a bookcase of quite a few books, but it was covered in a layer of dust. Despite this, when examining the books he owned, you could tell they were worn down—definitely loved. It made you smile a bit, seeing the different variety of books. A bit of personality, you think. Besides his room, it was like a completely furnished, no personality flat. You weren’t allowed in his room, not unless he gave you explicit permission, which you honored his boundaries. Simon was kind enough to offer you a space in his home—but you know he was quite weary of you, which was understandable. He helped you move in and you could tell he was watching you and your body language. Searching you for danger—but he slowly warmed up to you.

Another thing that you discovered that Simon was quite emotionally.. constipated. Over the first few months, you could tell he didn’t sleep as much as he probably should. He was always awake before you, and you would always find him in the kitchen, sipping on a hot cup of tea. After a few weeks of this routine—Simon rising much earlier than you, you figured maybe he couldn’t break the military’s strict routines.. Until one night you woke up from the sound of his heavy footsteps walking down the hall. You tensed in your bed and you sat up because Simon was silent as a ghost all the time. You didn’t even know if it was him at first, so in your half-asleep panicked state, you felt for your phone and you texted Simon’s contact, asking a messily texted “is that you walking around?” You blink your sleepiness away and wipe your eye as your phone vibrates with a “yeah. sorry.”

That was the first time you got some notion that Simon was thrown off guard from something, after another week of awakening from his noises, you began to realize that he was experiencing night terrors every couple of nights. His nightmares were never a thing you two discussed, exactly.. It was more of an unspoken rule to not talk about it. You would occasionally find yourself in the kitchen around the time you calculated when Simon would wake up—and you were right nearly every time—and you just.. coincidentally made him a cup of tea. To Simon’s pleasant surprise, you managed to get his tea right every single time. You’ve had your fair share of night terrors, so you knew how it could be sometimes. You wanted to do something nice for him, and he seemed flustered every time.

It took you a while to get used to him being gone for long periods of time. Simon appreciated that you never questioned too deeply into his career, even the times he would come home sporting a new injury, you were always willing to play doctor for him. Simon saw the concern in your eyes and sometimes he would share small stories of what happened, or maybe to get you to stop thinking about his injuries, a small story about his teammates. You slowly learned their names over the course of a year and a half, and you learned Simon’s rank as well. He is a lieutenant, and there’s a man called Captain Price, another man named Sergeant Kyle Garrick, and one more man named Sergeant John MacTavish, who Simon referred to as “Johnny” fondly.

It wasn’t common that Simon talked about work, which is the reason why it took about a year and a half to even get the information you did out of him. Over the time you’ve lived with him, you had decorated the flat to feel more comfortable and home-y. Simon only had a few requests, which you honored, and one of them was no pictures of him with his face showing. You shot him a curious and questioning look, but as always—you didn’t question him, and he was very thankful. You had gotten a few indoor plants as well that didn’t need much caring for and you wanted to liven up the place, y’know? You were okay with Simon not sharing much about his past or his work, because he was willing to listen to your little rambles about your interests and work. You were a bit hesitant, but Simon was very emotive and he never seemed annoyed or brushed you off.

Despite Simon’s reluctance to share anything of his own, he always heard you out if you needed to vent about something. He made sure you knew you could talk to him, even on days where you felt like you had no one to go to. You spent an entire night with him, just talking about anything and everything. It was the first real conversation you felt like you have had with anyone in such a long time. It was also the first night Simon really saw you. He watched as your eyebrows furrowed from uncomfortableness, the vulnerability being nearly too much to handle; something he could relate to on a personal level. So when you started showing these signs, he knew exactly when to change the subject. Simon quickly realized how to read you, and he somehow knew what you needed at different moments.

Simon flies into the airport late at night with a small duffel bag, tagged as a military bag. He sends you a quick “be home soon.” text. Simon doesn’t expect you to answer due to it being around 3 in the morning, and you indeed don’t answer him. He catches a taxi to your shared flat. Simon collects his things from the taxi before paying the driver and sending them off, and Simon lets out a slow breath as he takes in the achingly familiar sight of the place he lives in. He tugs the hood that remains sitting over his head closer to his face, which is covered by a black surgical mask. His hand tightens on the straps of the duffel bag before he approaches the flat building, taking out his keys as he approaches the elevator. Once Simon reaches the third floor, he wastes no time getting to the front door, and he isn’t sure why, but his heart is pounding inside of his chest.

Simon unlocks both the top lock and the doorknob to enter the flat—something he had taught you to do every single time. He pockets his keys as he enters and Simon pauses for a moment because he can’t put his finger on it, but something feels off the second he glanced inside. His eyes trail the living room which is clean, not one thing out of place. Simon takes a deep breath and he doesn’t brush off the weird feeling, because even when there’s no evidence something happened—he’s usually right. The blanket on the couch is perfectly folded and laid over the back cushions, the mini bookcase by the TV is dusted as always, your shoes.. Are not by the front door, but a different pair are..? These either are not your shoes, or they are new. You always warned Simon about bringing people over, and you definitely would’ve told him this time. The lamp is on in the living room, but it seems the lights are out everywhere else. Simon silently goes through his routine when he gets back late at night—taking his jacket off and hanging it up, he leaves his boots by the door, and he drops his keys into the dish.

Next step to his routine is to step into the kitchen and get a cup of actually good quality tea, unlike the shit the military provides him. He fills up the electric kettle and sets a timer on it, grabbing his favorite mug and the box of his favorite tea from the cabinets. Simon glances down the dark hall—he’s seeking for a sign of life from you because you’re usually getting up around this time to greet him. No matter what, you always seem to know when he returns—yet you aren’t leaving your room. There’s no light emitting from the hall nor underneath the doors, and fuck, it’s eating at him. Something is wrong—and what the fuck is it? Simon stands there for a moment, turning his head to watch the blue light blinking on the electric kettle. He watches it blink slowly as he tries to rack his brain for what could be wrong—maybe those shoes are someone else’s, but he could just have a stern conversation with you about it later. Maybe you came back from drinking with friends—no, if that was the case, he knows for a fact your belongings would be everywhere, maybe even a spilled glass of water in the kitchen. He’s had to clean that up a couple of times.

He raises his wrist and pulls up his sleeve a bit to look at his digital watch; it’s nearly 0400 now. Simon puts his hands on the counter, leaning his body weight against it. Did something happen at work, maybe that’s why it feels off? You’ve always had a commanding presence like he has, so maybe— “Fuck.�� Simon hisses quietly, hooking a finger into the strap of his black face mask and he rips it off, tossing it without care onto the counter. He leans forward and checks the kettles timer for a second, and then he’s walking towards the hall. Simon passes by his room and he walks up to yours, and he tries to turn the doorknob to peak in to check on you, but—it’s locked? Simon lets out a harsh breath before trying the door again, and yeah, it’s locked. Simon swears under his breath and he knocks on the door, his stomach twisting and turning. Something is wrong, very very wrong, very fucking wrong—

You unlock the door and you open it just enough for you to peak out, and you use your phone flashlight to shine it in Simon’s face. He squints and puts his hand up, his voice rumbling in his chest. “Hey—you locked your door.” He points out quietly, and you’re just staring at him, your eyes wide and alert. Simon’s anxiety lessens, but your reaction doesn’t make it go away. “Y’alright?” Simon drawls out, his hand on the wood panel of the door. You let out a harsh breath and you let go of your phone, letting out a quiet, “Simon..” before you suddenly pull your door completely open, and you wrap your arms around his thick torso into a hug. Simon swears his heart jumps into his throat and then into his stomach, bouncing back into his chest because you hugged him. You two were never particularly touchy like that, maybe a fleeting touch here or two, usual drunken affection from you—but you barely ever hugged him like this, even when he returned from deployments. Your touch burns hot through his clothes, and he knows you wouldn’t touch him without asking, so when you do? He wraps an arm around you, his free arm resting on your shoulder. “Hey..” Simon breathes out, lost for words.

You don’t hold on long enough for the uncomfortable worry to creep up his spine just yet. You rip yourself away from him like he burned you, his hands falling to his sides. You offer a tight, weak smile—one that you could easily play off as a sign of fatigue. Simon’s breath stutters as he watches your hands linger near your chest in a subconscious defensive gesture, your fingers closing into a fist for a moment; as if you’re uncomfortable, almost overstimulated. Simon feels the way for the light switch and he flips it on, and your room looks normal—but you look.. off. You look a bit clammy, almost like you’re sick or bouncing off the walls with anxiety. His eyes flick to your fingers and the skin besides your thumbnail and your middle finger are picked to all hell, and you just.. don’t seem right. All of these.. signs, you’re showing are actually very subtle—he just notices everything about you. Simon knows what food you favor, what your favorite color is, what social situations what you tick, what makes you mad—he knows it all. “Three months went by slow,” You murmur, trying to start a conversation. Simon’s eyes narrow at you for a moment as he watches you back up to your bed; no, you don’t turn around, you back up. You don’t turn your back to Simon at all. Fuck. He watches you lift your mattress, causing him to lift an eyebrow. “They did,” Simon confirms. “What happened while I was gone?”

This wasn’t an unusual question for Simon to ask; but it had a completely different meaning to you this time. You feel your muscles tense as you grab something from under your mattress, and you put it back down. It glints from the overhead light in your bedroom—a.. pocket knife of some sort, a switchblade perhaps. Simon’s eyes narrow at how you pocket it oh so quickly into your pocket. “Nothing much,” You reply quickly, smoothing out your shirt. “Same old same old, work has been fine, uh..” You trail off for a moment, clearing your throat. “Look, let me take a shower—I’m sure you’re itching for something to eat, huh?” Simon watches you open your drawers and pick out some pants and a shirt. The knife comes to mind—why are you taking it with you? “I can make it myself.” Simon responds, his feet planted firmly where he had been standing the whole time. You shake your head and close the drawers once you collect your clothes.

“It’s tradition, Simon. I gotta.” You offer a stronger smile as you make your way towards the door, still avoiding showing your back towards him. Simon watches as you glance at your bedroom window before exiting your room, muttering a quiet “close the door when you leave”, which Simon obeys. He shuts the door with a click, and he watches you quickly scurry down the hall towards the bathroom. “Just let me shower first.” And with that, you step into the bathroom, close the door and you lock it before Simon can interject. He stands there for a moment, stunned. His chest tightens for a moment because you just felt so far away. You’ve created such unwanted distance—even as you’re not very touchy with him, you still bother him for every detail he’s willing to give up when he returns. You are constantly making jokes, inviting him into the kitchen when you’re about to make a welcome home meal—but this time? You were hiding in your room, locking your door, bringing a knife with you—in front of him. Did you think that could slip past him? Did something happen whilst he was gone, to cause you to bring it with you? Is it for self defense against something or someone?— Is it to use on yourself?

Simon feels his stomach turn at his thoughts. He shakes his head and sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. He walks past the bathroom, his footsteps stuttering for a moment in front of the door before he presses his lips into a thin line, returning to the kitchen to make himself some tea, the electric kettle had beeped long ago.

The next late morning, not much was different. Simon only slept a few hours, three or four—as per usual, he still woke up before you. He threw on a pair of sweatpants, and a black hoodie. He made his tea, made you a cup of what you prefer to drink in the morning, and he made a light breakfast for you both. Despite being in the military for a while and relying on cooks as well as MRE’s to get through his days, Simon is a decent cook. He made himself some sausage and fried eggs, and he made a plate or a bowl of what you prefer to eat in the morning. Simon sighs for a moment as he glances at the time—around 1100, and you still haven’t emerged from your room which is odd, especially now that Simon just came back home. He takes a moment to look at his food, and he decides then and there he will drag you out if he has to. Simon scoops up his plate as well as your food, and he heads down the hall towards your room. With his hands full, Simon balances for a second as he gently kicks the door as a way to knock, and then he stands on both of his feet again. “Oi, wake up!” Simon shouts, leaning close to the door to listen for your movement.

It takes a good minute and when Simon is about to knock again; he hears your doorknob unlock and you peak out the door, your eyes wide and alert again, although it’s obvious you had just woken up. You seem to relax when your tired mind’s gears turn and you realize it’s just Simon. You open your door wider and you rub your eye, and he spots the knife in your hand, partially obscured by the door. “Mm, sorry. I overslept.” You say, your voice heavy with sleep, vibrating in your chest. Simon makes a noncommittal noise before holding out your food, which you stare at for a moment you take it, your lips twitching into a weak smile. “Thanks, Simon.” He waits a few seconds, and you nearly shut your door on him.

Thanks, Simon. That’s all??

“Can I eat in your room wit’you?” Simon gruffs out, feeling sudden determination from this weird act you have going on. You blink for a moment and then you nod. “Just give me a sec.” You murmur. You shut the door in his face and he hears you shuffling about, moving something—sounds like your mattress. Are you putting your knife away??—and then you open your door, gesturing for Simon to walk into your room. Surely you don’t think you can hide this type of thing from him of all people, right? Why are you hiding it from him?

Simon enters your room, and you close the door behind him. You never used to do that—“What happened?” Simon stares at you for an answer, watching your face contort in a bit of confusion. You don’t say anything at first, and when you were about to open your mouth, Simon speaks. “I mean this in the nicest way possible—do ya take me f’a wanker?” Your jaw drops for a moment, your eyebrows furrowing. “What? No, of course not, Simon. Nothing happened, I’m not sure why—“

“Don’t,” Simon interrupts, putting his plate of food on your dresser. “Something has happened, and you’re lyin’ to me. You’re jumpy, you’re carryin’ a blood knife around, lovie—don’t think you can get that past me—and you won’t turn your back on me.” His lips press into a line as he watches your shoulder hunch up a bit, in an all too familiar defensive, tense position. The pit in Simon’s stomach begins to grow as you avert your eyes from, too. “You are barely talkin’ when you bloody damn near talk my ear off when I come home—you said, ‘Thanks, Simon.’ Not an over the top reaction about me doing something for th’both of’us, not a invite in, and last night—you’ve been locking your door.” You put your food down near yourself, and Simon catches the way your fingers are trembling. “I.. I’m allowed to lock my door, Simon. You don’t need to question me.” You say, attempting to hold a steady voice which barely works, your voice nearly cracking on the last word. Your heart is racing out of your chest and all you want to do is bolt at the door; which Simon catches on to. You watch him as he slowly begins to step in front of the door. “You tell me everything—even how your damn showers go. Why won’t you tell me this?” He demands, and his heart is pounding against his ribcage, too.

He watches your face contort into several different emotions and feelings; panic, sadness, anger, relief—the whole nine yards. Simon walks towards you when you begin to sob, and you sit down on your bed to avoid collapsing. His chest tightens as he murmurs name, wondering if he went too far. You reach your hands for him and not for one second does Simon hesitate this time. He wraps his arms around you, sitting right next to you on your mattress, your thighs touching together. He reaches up and rubs the nape of your neck as you openly sob and shutter into the crook of his neck and in his arms. His skin burns from your heat seeping into his clothes, a lively warmth that burns so hot but he welcomes so much more than he remembers that he used to. Your tears are hot, burning his skin with every drop that slides onto his neck, but he welcomes the sensation. “It’s alright, lovie. Let it out.” Simon murmurs, one of his arms tugging your body closer to his. He holds you in almost protective stance, like someone is threatening to drag you away from his grasp. You grab at the back of his hoodie, your chest beginning to heave. “Mm, no, c’mere; look at me, yeah?” Simon beckons you, his voice smooth and soft—which is extremely rare. Simon cups your cheek and lifts your head from where it rests in the crook of his neck, his hand instantly getting covered in the wetness of your tears that are streaming down your cheeks. You inhale sharply as you try to look at Simon, your eyes unfocused and you try so hard to focus on his pretty brown eyes, but you can’t seem to get ahold of yourself. You let out a panicked sob as your hand now tug on the front of his hoodie, and his voice is so far away, but his hand is molding to the curve of your jaw, like it belongs there.

You shut your eyes for a moment and you let Simon move you around as he wants, which he ends up guiding your head to his chest, and his grip loosens some so you don’t feel trapped. It takes you a moment to catch your breath, to catch your bearings; you can hear a faint ringing sound that you didn’t notice before, but you do note it’s slowly fading away, and in fades is Simon’s voice. He’s murmuring praises—and oh, he’s laying against the headboard of your bed frame now, with you laying on his chest. You feel yourself trembling against him, and embarrassment hits you hard. You’re tense—you don’t want to talk about any of it at all, but you know Simon. He will push you until you snap, even if it’s in your best interest to tell him. You reach up and play with a hoodie string of his, listening to his soft breathing. You hesitate for a moment before your lips part. “It was a week after you left.” Simon’s heart skips a beat, which you hear—you vaguely find it amusing, but he’s silent to allow you to continue. One of his hands is on your back, his thumb moving back and forth. “I..” You swallow spit so you don’t croak, as you’re convinced you might sound pathetic. As if Simon would ever think of you that way. “I was walking home from the pub, y’know, the one only just a few blocks away? It was late at night, I think the police said it was around 2 am. I stayed until closing, I was with some of my friends, uh..” You trail off for a moment, trying to recall everything that happened. Your hand pauses, and Simon senses your state. He begins to rub your back full on, murmuring, “It’s alright. Go on, then.”

You let out a shaky breath before continuing. “I was absolutely wasted, and there was this guy—grabbed me and I tried to get out of his hold, but he ended up fucking stabbing me. Robbed me of my shit.” Your voice cracks and the silence is deafening. Simon feels his heart drop into his stomach. You got stabbed? “Fuckin’ hell.. Why didn’t you call me? Or at least let me know?” Simon’s voice treats carefully, knowing that you’re still freaking out by the way you’re incredibly tense against him. “I know how important your focus is when you’re gone,” You respond, your voice staying quiet as well. You don’t look at Simon’s face because you know that you’ll break once again. You pick at the fabric of his hoodie, seeking comfort in his warmth, despite how you usually aren’t like this with him. “I didn’t want to take your focus because I know you, Simon. You would’ve backed out of whatever you were trying to do to come and help me.” Simon presses his lips into a thin line, staying quiet because you both know that you’re correct. Simon would drop everything to come home to you, to help you. “The guy nicked my lung, was in the hospital for a while.” Simon’s hand stutters for a moment, the smooth pattern of his palm rubbing your back being interrupted from shock. “Jesus—“ Simon hisses, and he can’t help but tug you closer. “You should’ve told me anyway, lovie.”

You sniffle and you rub your face into his hoodie, a muffled noncommittal noise coming from the back of your throat. He doesn’t say anything further, nor do you. Simon lays there with you on top of him, one of his hands caressing your back, the other wrapped around your body, sometimes coming up to rub the back of your neck. You don’t mention the way he doesn’t seem to tell you to move, and he doesn’t mention how touchy you’re being. Simon doesn’t want this moment to end—one where you’re vulnerable and trusting with him, one where you’re alive and well. He can’t help but wonder if he ever made you feel like you couldn’t tell him something? Simon feels simmering, muffled anger in his stomach because you didn’t want to interrupt his work for being stabbed, nicking a vital organ no less—he makes a mental note to sit you down and make you promise to call him if an issue or an injury like that ever arises again. He closes his eyes for a moment, trying to push away what would happen if you didn’t do that—if that guy were to come back to try to finish the job and Simon wasn’t here, would you call him? Would you pick up your phone and dial his number? Would you text him? What if you got hurt again—would you call him?—Or would the hospital? He always imagined you’d be getting the call of his death, and not the other way around. Simon swears under his breath for a moment and opens his eyes; he doesn’t want to think about that anymore. He wants to stay in this moment with you—both himself and you alive. He glances down, your tear stained cheeks slowly drying, your eyelids closed. His fingers slide from the nape of your neck to the side, and he presses his fingers against your pulse.

Being here with you—he wants you to trust him, too; like he trusts you. That’s all he wants.

tag: @zzzennin

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