#i haven't drawn a person this complex in ages
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Hello I am alive. I haven't really drawn much since August due to BG3 brainrot (and this month I've been learning how to mod the game) but this morning my brain decided I wasn't allowed to look at computer screens so I did a little sketch of Shel. She was originally supposed to be like a miniboss for a friend's campaign but it never happened so I ended up making her in BG3.
#sketch#original character#original art#I haven't even drawn on paper in AGES#my headache seems to be gone now so I'm debating whether I want to try to finish that Blender tutorial or just sketch some more#anyway. playing Shel is fun because she has a superiority complex & zero empathy (disclaimer that lack of empathy does not make a person-#-selfish or evil) since in my main file I'm using my persona so there I'm trying to be nice & helpful to everyone#in Shel's file I get to see different content & whatnot. although I got trapped in the back room of the grove for a hot minute bc Nettie-#-attacked us & we killed her & I forgot I could use her “key of the ancients” to open the doors & get back out#act 3 features plot stuff similar to her story in the campaign so idk maybe she'll accuse [redacted] of copying her lord's plan lol#although i haven't decided if her backstory from the campaign is “canon” for her in bg3 & she just got kidnapped & stuck in Faerûn#OR to adapt it so she's from Baldur's Gate & has just been doing her shady experiments on her own under the radar
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Love story
Pairings/Characters: Loki x reader
Summary: Your love story.
Warnings: A bit of angst but nothing too major! (Maybe bad writing and grammar lol. English isn’t my first language!)
Song: Love Story (Taylor’s Version) by Taylor Swift
A/N: Thank you so much for reading!!
We were both young when I first saw you
High above the revelry of the grand ball, in the quiet solitude of a moonlit balcony, Prince Loki and your’s worlds collided.
I close my eyes and the flashback starts
The soft glow of the stars illuminated the regal figures as they stepped into the cool night air, unaware that the balcony's edge marked the precipice of a future entwined in love.
I'm standing there
You, drawn by the beauty of the night sky, found yourself on the same balcony, a serendipitous encounter orchestrated by the unseen hand of destiny.
On a balcony, in summer air
The ball was running smoothly.
As the princess of Alfheim you have learned to survive in these types of situations.
Boredom was becoming something familiar to you.
See the lights, see the party, the ball gowns
The door to the balcony opened. You didn’t turn, not until the stranger walked to the rail next to you.
See you make your way through the crowd
It was Prince Loki, his eyes reflecting the weight of royal responsibilities, stepped onto the balcony, seeking a moment of respite from the grandeur below.
And say, "Hello"
“Hello” he says as he bows clumsily.
“Nice to meet you Prince” you bow to him
“Loki please, call me Loki” he smiles at you taking your hand in his.
“Nice to meet you Loki” you smile at him.
“Do you want to be friends?” Asks little you.
“Yea !” He replies and grabs your hand running of to the garden dragging you with him.
Little did I know
Kids. What can you say, pure souls that don’t understand the complexity of life or trust.
•a few years after•
Inside of the palace library, Loki and you found yourselves in a conversation about the age-old tale of Romeo and Juliet. You, captivated by the tragic romance, clutched a worn copy of the book against your chest.
That you were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles
“Come on Loki! The book is good! It's such a beautiful story of love and sacrifice.” You argued back.
And my daddy said, "Stay away from Juliet"
“Good? That melodramatic play? I find the whole thing rather ridiculous. Two impulsive teenagers meeting a tragic end over a fleeting infatuation.” he chuckles.
“It’s a love story! It's so romantic! The intensity of their love, the willingness to defy their families for each other—it's like a timeless symbol of passion.” You smiled at him
And I was crying on the staircase
“Come one now darling. Passion, or youthful recklessness? I can't fathom why anyone would idealize such impulsive behavior. Real love requires more than just poetic proclamations.”
“But isn't that the essence of love? To be willing to risk everything for the person you can't imagine living without?”
Begging you, "Please don't go"
“Yeah which is why it was so stupid. I believe in a more practical approach. Love shouldn't be about making grand gestures and meeting tragic ends. It should be stable, sensible, and built on mutual respect.”
And I said
“Does that mean you've never felt a love so intense that it defies reason?”
"Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone
“I prefer a love story without unnecessary drama. One where both parties think with their heads rather than their hearts.”he smirks.
I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run
“Perhaps you haven't found the right story to change your perspective yet. Romeo and Juliet may be dramatic, but it's a testament to the power of love—flawed, yes, but undeniably powerful.” You smile at him.
You'll be the prince, and I'll be the princess
“Well, I'll stick to tales that make sense. No tragic romances for me.” Rolls his eyes.
It's a love story, baby, just say yes"
As the debate continued, the words of Shakespeare's timeless play lingered in the air, creating an intriguing contrast between the romantic ideals cherished by you and the pragmatic skepticism of Loki.
•a few years later•
In the heart of the castle, Loki and you harbored a shared secret that flourished under the veil of night.
So I sneak out to the garden to see you
Drawn together by an unspoken connection, they each yearned for something beyond the regal confines of their chambers
We keep quiet 'cause we're dead if they knew
And so, as the moon ascended the velvet sky, casting its silvery glow upon the palace gardens, they embarked on a clandestine journey.
Loki, with a heart that craved adventure, would slip past the guards with the agility of a fox.
So close your eyes
You, full of sneakiness, would evade the watchful eyes of your attendants, tiptoeing through moonlit corridors to the rendezvous point beneath the ancient rose arbor.
Under the blooming roses, Loki and you found in the quiet of the night. The fragrance of blossoms mingled with the whispers of a thousand secrets as they shared stolen glances and laughter that echoed through the garden.
Escape this town for a little while, oh, oh
Loki, burdened by the weight of future responsibilities, discovered in you a confidante who understood the struggle between duty and desire.
'Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter
You, yearning for a life beyond protocol, found in Loki a kindred spirit who shared her dreams of a world unfettered by royal expectations.
And my daddy said, "Stay away from Juliet"
The garden, once a canvas of muted greens and blossoms, became a sanctuary painted with the hues of your emotions.
But you were everything to me
As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm glow over beautiful Asgard, you found yourself standing at the stables. The air was heavy with unspoken emotions as you waited for the warriors to arrive. The ones who would accompany the person who had become the center of your world – Loki.
“Darling?” Loki said from behind you.
“So you have to go?” You said without turning to look at him.
I was begging you, "Please don't go"
"I'll miss you," Loki managed to say, his voice betraying the vulnerability he had kept hidden for so long.
And I said
You smiled, a bittersweet expression that mirrored the conflicted emotions within. "I'll miss you too, Loki. More than you can think."
"Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone
You watched as Loki prepared to mount his horse. The warriors and his brother Thor were there too. All ready to leave. To risk their lives.
I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run
As they began to leave with Thor guiding them, you looked at Loki hoping he’ll change his mind and stay. He didn’t.
You'll be the prince, and I'll be the princess
With a final glance, Loki rode into the horizon, leaving you waiting. Everyday you found yourself looking to the horizon, waiting for the day when Loki would return.
Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months.
It's a love story, baby, just say yes"
The ache of Loki’s absence lingered, leaving an empty space that seemed impossible to fill.
You navigated the routines of life, haunted by memories of shared moments and the laughter that echoed through corridors now too quiet.
•a few years later•
You stood before your father, a solemn determination in your eyes. Your father, concerned about the stability of his kingdom, had proposed an alliance through marriage to a prince from a neighboring kingdom. However, you, guided by your love for Loki spoke your truth.
"My dear days, this union is crucial for the prosperity of our kingdom. Prince Dominic is a worthy match, and the alliance will strengthen our realm."
Romeo, save me, they're trying to tell me how to feel
"Father, I appreciate your concern for our kingdom, but my heart belongs to another. Loki, who went into distant lands to protect us, is the one I await."
"Loki is presumed lost, and we cannot delay vital alliances for a hope that may not materialize. Dominic is noble and willing to forge a strong bond with our kingdom."
This love is difficult, but it's real
"Father, my heart tells me Loki will return. I cannot pledge my heart to another when it already belongs to him. I will wait for Loki, for his love is the anchor that guides me." You said standing your ground.
Your father, torn between duty and his daughter's unwavering love, sighed deeply.
Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess
"My dear daughter, I understand your feelings, but we must prioritize the kingdom's stability. Let us hope for Loki's safe return, but we cannot put our future on hold indefinitely."
Meanwhile, unaware of the ongoing conversation, Loki had just returned and after hearing the news about your arranged marriage he sought with your father to request the your hand in marriage.
It's a love story, baby, just say yes
“Your Majesty, I come with the utmost respect and sincerity. I've grown deeply fond of your daughter, and I wish to ask for her hand in marriage.”
Oh, oh-oh
I got tired of waiting
“Prince Loki, while I appreciate your candor, I have reservations about a union that may complicate our diplomatic relations.”
Wondering if you were ever coming around
“Your Majesty, I am committed to fostering a strong bond between our realms. My love for your daughter is genuine, and I believe together we can bridge any divides.”
My faith in you was fading
As Loki persisted in his plea, expressing his dedication to both the princess and the prosperity of their kingdoms, your father found himself grappling with a decision that balanced matters of the heart and the stability of the realm.
When I met you on the outskirts of town
“Prince Loki, your sincerity has not gone unnoticed. I shall grant my consent, but I implore you to approach this union with the commitment and diplomacy it deserves.”
And I said
And so, after persistent appeals, the love between you and Loki triumphed over political considerations. The kingdom awaited a union that would not only bind two hearts but also forge a new chapter in the history of their realms.
•the wedding day•
The grandeur of the royal palace was adorned with cascading flowers, sparkling crystals, and an air of anticipation as guests gathered to witness the union of two souls destined for each other.
"Romeo, save me, I've been feeling so alone
The ceremony took place in the palace courtyard, where an ornate archway adorned with blossoms framed the couple, symbolizing the intertwining of their lives.
I keep waiting for you, but you never come
Prince Loki, resplendent in regal attire, stood at the altar, his eyes gleaming with a mix of mischief and affection as he awaited his beloved.
Is this in my head? I don't know what to think"
You, radiant in a gown that seemed to capture the essence of moonlight, descended the grand staircase.
He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring
As you walked towards Loki, a hush fell over the gathered assembly, captivated by the ethereal beauty of the moment.
And said
Underneath a canopy of stars, Loki and you exchanged vows in a magical courtyard.
"Marry me, Juliet, you'll never have to be alone
"I promise not to play too many tricks, my love, except when it comes to stealing your heart every day." He smirks teasing you.
I love you, and that's all I really know
"And I promise to see past your mischief, cherishing the kind and tender soul beneath. Our journey will be a grand adventure, Loki."
I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress
With rings exchanged and a kiss sealing your vows, the celebration echoed with laughter and music.
It's a love story, baby, just say yes"
"To us, my enchanting bride!"
Oh, oh-oh
"To forever, my mischievous groom!"
Oh, oh-oh, oh
As you danced under the moonlit sky, the union of Loki and you became a tale whispered in the winds of the enchanted realm.
'Cause we were both young when I first saw you.
#marvel#loki#tom hiddleston#loki the god of mischief#loki season two#loki series#loki of asgard#loki show#loki season 2#lokius#loki x female reader#loki x reader#loki fluff#loki angst#loki god of mischief#taylor swift#love story#Spotify
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Whispers of Secrets and Shadows
You know that line from Astarion when he says to The Dark Urge "You have a manner way of being desperate. I like that."
My short story will eventually end up on sheets of paper as a drawing, but for now I'll write down my desperation.
Irresistible Manner of Desperation: Astarion finds something fascinating about Tav's despair. Her vulnerability and inner struggles make her fascinating and compelling to him. He is drawn to the depth of her emotions and the complexity of her character.
I like it: This sentence implies that Astarion is not put off or repelled by Tav's darkness or the complexity of her past. Instead, he is attracted to her and finds her appealing.
In essence, Astarion is expressing an emotional connection and attraction to Tav's complex personality. He appreciates her for who she is, and this moment of dialogue suggests a growing emotional connection between the two characters.
_________Whispers of Secrets and Shadows_______
Astarion: "You know, my dear," Astarion purred, his tone shifting from playful to contemplative. "You're keeping something hidden, something you're guarding. It hardly seems fair when you're privy to so much of my history…" His eyes bore into hers, genuine concern etching lines on his face. "And yet, I know so little about yours."
Tav chuckled, her eyes dancing with a blend of mischief and vulnerability. "What's there to tell? I can't remember."
Astarion: Astarion's smile softened as he gently prodded, "Come on, give it a try, my dear. What do you recall?"
Tav's gaze wandered upwards, her expression pensive.
"I do remember… I remember an intense love for cats (laughs), I remember I had many lovers," she admitted, punctuating it with a hearty laugh. "I indulged in their company and then… well, I often brought our time to a dark end. But you, my dear, you may be one of the few I haven't killed after a night of pleasure."
Astarion's laughter rang out in harmony with hers. "Ah, you were born with a touch of the macabre, I see."
Tav: (grinning) "The twisted ones are always the most captivating, aren't they? (reflecting) Let me think… I remember a grand waterfall nestled in the mountains, kissed by the morning sun, and a picnic with the most delectable noodle chicken soup I've ever tasted. (smiles warmly) It was cheesy, yes, and incredibly romantic, which, secretly, I adore. Please, don't tell a soul."
Astarion: (smirking) "Your secret's safe with me, my dear."
Tav: (lost in thought) "There was someone else, not a lover, more like… a mentor, I believe. I… I ended his life, unintentionally. He told me before he died, 'You are second to none.'"
Tav's demeanor shifted, her face growing solemn. Her voice quivered as she confided, "I remember my eyes changing, as if invisible strings were pulling me, forcing me to dance like a puppet. But I never wanted to be a puppet. I thought my lovers, my mentor… they could love me, despite the monstrous within."
Astarion watched her closely, his surprise giving way to understanding.
Astarion: "…Who told you that?"
Tav sighed, her gaze distant. "Let's just leave it at that, alright? That's the extent of my memory, along with my name and my age, and…" She paused, her voice catching.
"What I hold dear eventually fades. That which I venerate is destined to meet its demise. Only through my poison can you find renewal. I might not be the caring, virtuous soul you believe me to be. It's probably best if you keep your distance." Her face bore a profound sadness.
Astarion's laughter faded as he listened, his eyes reflecting deep empathy.
Tav locked eyes with Astarion, his tone now a mix of playfulness and vulnerability. "I'll be your loyal confidante, prepared to divulge my darkest secrets as you hold the key to my redemption. You possess an irresistible manner of desperation, and I find it incredibly perfect tempting."
Her cheeks flushed with a mixture of embarrassment and confusion as he referred to her as the "perfect temptation." She viewed herself as a monster, unable to control the darkness within her, and being labeled as "perfect" left her momentarily speechless, her face revealing the internal conflict of her emotions.
#bg3#baldurs gate 3#bg3 tav#astarion romance#tav x astarion#astarion x reader#astarion x dark urge#fanfic
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Little lamb - Terzo x Fem!Reader
Summary: After securing a new job in a city far from your hometown, you found yourself in need of a temporary living arrangement. With limited time to search for a suitable place to rent, you made the decision to stay in a hotel for the first week. At the night you arrive at this new city, you encounter this mysterious man.
Words: 6.034
Warnings: SMUT +18!
Inspired by Jigolo Har Megiddo by Ghost
Arriving in an unfamiliar bustling city late at night, you couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by the sheer number of people surrounding you. Although you didn't come from a small city, you never had the opportunity to be on your own surrounded by a lot of people.
The only time you would get exposed to large crowds was when your family would make you attend Sunday mass, a weekly tradition that you had never particularly enjoyed. For your family and close-knit group of friends, you were an innocent Lamb of God, embodying purity and conformity, and perhaps you were, but deep down, you longed for a chance to break free from those expectations and explore your own path.
At least that's what you expected, you really wanted to transform from an innocent Lamb of God to a completely new person, you were ready to navigate the complexities of life, of your own life. But first, you needed to be less scared. Maybe that was the chance you needed to do restart, as the sensation of anonymity and the multitude of unfamiliar faces made you feel both excited and uneasy.
Stepping into the lobby, you were greeted by soft lighting and a soothing color palette that creates an atmosphere of relaxation. You checked into a cozy hotel located in the heart of downtown because you haven't had time to search for a suitable place to rent, so you made the decision to stay in a hotel for the first week.
As you walk down the lobby to make your check-in with a staff from the hotel you couldn't stop looking around, you felt intoxicated by this new atmosphere. Feeling lost on your surround, letting your senses get shut off, you suddenly collides with a man, threatening to send you tumbling to the floor, however, in the nick of time, the mysterious man extends his arm and grabs holding one of yours, preventing you to fall. Your heart races as you feel his firm grip and you automatically got mute by looking at him.
"Merda!" The mysterious man exclaimed in a foreign language. "Sii attenta! Guarda dove vai, bella!" He pulls you closer, causing your bodies to inadvertently collide.
You couldn't understand a thing that mysterious man was saying, but he was exuding an air of charm, yet carrying an undeniable sense of peculiarity with his dark hair pushed back, his heterocrhomatic eyes and face painting in black and white, just like a skull.
"I- I'm sorry." Your voice barely audible. "I got distracted, sir." Your gaze is drawn to his enigmatic features, his eyes, twinkling with mischief, meet yours with an intensity that both intrigues you.
"Sir?" He repeats it in a devilish tone. His smile is lopsided, hinting at a mischievous nature that dances across his lips.
Your eyes remained locked, time seems to stand still, the bustling lobby fading into the background. He looked older than you, and that only added an intriguing layer to the already enigmatic encounter. You detect a hint of a knowing smile, as if he recognizes the curiosity and intrigue that his age difference sparks within you. It's as if he understands that his mature demeanor holds a certain allure, captivating the imagination of someone younger like yourself.
"I'm sorry. I'll be more careful... Sir?" You heard him growling of pleasure. He releases his grip and steps back, breaking the magnetic connection, a mix of disappointment and anticipation washes over you.
"Nessun problema, bella ragazza." His eyes seem to penetrate deep into my nervous soul, intensifying the electric current that still lingers between you.
"Excuse me, sir. I have to go." Breaking away from his gaze and quickly turning to meet with one of the hotel staff. The sense of his gaze following me remains, an invisible thread connecting us in that moment.
You walked until you arrived at the reception desk. As you talk with the hotel staff, you can't help but steal glances in his direction. He stands there, a mysterious figure amidst the bustling lobby, still watching you. The knowledge that his eyes are fixed on you, fills you with a mix of trepidation and exhilaration. It's as if he sees beyond the surface, igniting a desire to delve deeper into the unknown. In that moment, you realize that this chance encounter has awakened something inside of you, a thirst for adventure and a willingness to embrace the unexpected.
"Excuse, Miss. Your key. Room number 66" The staff calls your attention breaking the gaze with the mysterious strange.
"Yes! Thank you!" You gave the staff a sincere smile gently getting the key from his hand.
You leave the reception behind making your way to the elevator, so you could finally settle in your room and finally take a rest. The soft sound of a bell announces the arrival of the elevator, the doors sliding open to reveal a small, enclosed space. You step into the elevator to reach your designated floor, you press the button of the 6th floor. You steal a glance at the reflection in the mirrored walls, adjusting your disheveled hair.
Just as the doors begin to slide shut, a hand appears, halting their motion. The doors obediently retract, revealing the enigmatic man from the lobby, his presence both startling and mesmerizing. Frozen in place, you find myself unable to tear your gaze away from him.
"Mi scusi principessa, buonanotte." You see him pressing a button and the doors close once again. The atmosphere becomes charged with anticipation, as if time itself has paused to witness the unfolding encounter.
Words fail you in his presence, your eyes meet in the mirrored reflection. His gaze seems to penetrate your very being.
"So, first time around the town?" He asks breaking the silence. You nodded turning your gaze to another direction. "Going to the 6th floor, sì?"
"Yes." You reply. "Just moved here, I got a new job and I will stay for a time in this hotel, sir." He growls, his head tilting back slightly, his eyes closing as he bites his bottom lip. He shifts his position, his body turning, his gaze fixed upon your reflection in the mirrored walls.
"The golden crucifix on your neck, I couldn't avoid to notice it." You follow his gaze, noticing his attention drawn to the delicate golden crucifix resting against your exposed chest due to the cleavage of your dress. "Do you consider yourself a Lamb of God?"
His words echoed in your head, causing your eyebrows to furrow together in a perplexed expression. In a swift motion, you turned your body to face him, unable to comprehend how he could refer to you as a "Lamb of God", a label you had long resisted.
"I am more than the image you perceive." The words escaped your lips in a sharp tone, his lips curled into a smirk, a mischievous glint dancing in his eyes.
He casually rested a hand in the mirrored walls, his posture exuding confidence and intrigue. The smirk remained plastered on his face, his eyes locked with yours, as if he was silently challenging you to delve deeper into the enigma that surrounded him.
"Sei sicura di quella? Sembri un agnello debole di Dio, piccola." He whispered, his words laced with a mix of amusement and provocation.
"I'm sorry, but I don't understand what you're saying, sir." He step closer to you almost pressing his body against your back, resting the bottom of his arm on the mirrored wall, leaning his body towards you with his face close to your ear.
"I said: Are you sure about that? You look like a Lamb of God, little one." He whispered in your ear, you felt his other hand reaching for your hips, holding you there. You closed your eyes, his charm, voice, proximity, scent, and touch intoxicating you.
"I may appear as an innocent lamb, but strength lies within even the meekest of creatures." You felt his tight grip on your hips, letting out a soft moan, you tilted your head back resting it on his chest. His hand left your hips, tracing a path from your belly to your your neck holding it slightly, as his fingertips reached for your lips, you slightly parted them.
"Are you sure about that, little lamb?" His fingers now moving to your lips, parting them a little more. You moved your tongue unconsciously, softly licking his fingertips. He left a malicious laugh escape his lips as his fingers went all the way down back to your hips slowly pulling up your dress. "May I...?" He patiently waited for your response, you took a deep breath nodding.
"I am not..." you murmured, "...a little...", you felt his fingertips reaching for the inside of your thighs, your legs were trembling in anticipation, the gentle touch of his hand between your legs sent shivers down your spine, "...lamb."
"Ma certo che no, mi dispiace..." His hand getting closer to the fabric of your panties, made you feel a mix of nervous and anticipation. Your body tensed slightly, your breath caught in your throat, and your heart beating fast in your chest.
In that suspended moment, the air between you two grew thick with unspoken tension. You didn't want to keep going with this silent battle of wills as your eyes were still locked onto his, you decided to turn your back to him, no longer willing to indulge his provocative game.
Before you could say something, the elevator abruptly jolts to a stop, he breaks the physical connection that had begun to take hold of you and reality came crashing back. Your eyes meet his, a mixture of shyness and nervousness dancing within your depths.
The doors slide open. "I- It's my floor," you stammers softly. You reluctantly stepped out, but before the doors shut, the man reached for your wrist stopping you.
"Can I ask for the number of your room, mia cara?" You looked at him over your shoulder.
"Y- Yes, sir. Is 66" He let your wrist go.
"I'll meet you in some minutes then, little lamb." You catch a glimpse of his face transforming into a devilish smile. It starts at the corners of his lips, a mischievous curl that slowly spreads across his features like a flickering flame. His eyes, filled with a mixture of lust and allure, twinkle with a hint of mischief. The corners of his mouth turn upward, forming a captivating smirk that hints at a world of secrets and untamed desires. It's a smile that holds both danger and temptation.
Not able to give him a proper answer, you nodded, you couldn't stop staring at him. As the door of the elevator shuts, you shake your head breaking the spell.
Walking down the hallway, your steps echoed softly against the carpeted floor. As you approached your room, you stop in front of the door labeled 66, the numbers gleaming in a polished metallic finish. You insert the key into the lock and hears a satisfying click, signaling the entry. The door swings open, revealing a cozy space illuminated by a warm glow. The room welcomes you with a soft lighting, plush furnishings, and a sense of tranquility.
Closing the door behind you, you took a moment to soak in the ambiance. The comfortable bed, neatly arranged furniture, and the soft glow of the bedside lamp offered a sense of familiarity amidst the unfamiliar surroundings.
Leaving your shoes close to the door, you move towards the window, drawing back the curtains to reveal a breathtaking view of the city below. It was a breathtaking landscape. As you stand in the center of the room, your mind drifts back to the encounter in the elevator.
The memory of his presence, his touch, and the devilish smile he bestowed upon you linger in your thoughts, leaving you yearning for more.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, the events that unfolded in the elevator replay in your mind, leaving you questioning the choices you had made.
What had just happened? Was it a leap towards new experiences or had you crossed a line you wasn't ready for? Is this what you truly wanted? Can you handle the consequences of your impulsive actions? Are you prepared for what awaits?
But you couldn't say "no" to him, the scent of his cologne enveloped your senses, you felt poisoned by it. There's no turning back now. You had agreed to let him come to your room.
The heat between your legs only grew as the memory of his fingers running through your body invaded your mind. You lied on the bed, you could still feel his fingers, so close to where you needed him. You wanted more, you needed more of him.
As the minutes tick by, you knew that he will be arriving soon. The anxiety weighs heavily on you, causing your palms to grow clammy and your heart to quicken its pace. The air in the room feels charged with a blend of excitement and nervous energy.
A softly knock on your door made you rise from the bed and straightens your posture. With a mixture of nervousness and anticipation you approaches the door. Taking a moment to compose yourself, you opens it to find him standing there, his enigmatic presence filling the doorway.
"Hello, sir... I wasn't sure if you would actually come." Your voice comes out in a hushed tone.
"Did you doubt me, little lamb? I told you I would find my way to your doorstep." He smirks, his eyes twinkling with a hint of mischief.
"I... I didn't expect this," you stammer, your voice betraying a hint of nervousness. You back slightly, allowing him to enter the room.
"Expectations can be limiting, mia cara. Sometimes it's better to let go and embrace the unknown." He shuts the door behind him, his presence overwhelming yet captivating.
"But what are we doing here? What does this mean?" your gaze shifts nervously, uncertainty lingering in your eyes.
He chuckles softly, his voice low and alluring. "Does everything need a meaning? Can't we simply surrender to the moment, allowing ourselves to explore the depths of desire?"
You bite your lip, the allure of his words tempting you to relinquish your inhibitions. "I... I don't know if I'm ready for this. It's all so new to me."
His expression softens, and he reaches out to gently brush a stray strand of hair from your face. "Fear and excitement often go hand in hand, mia cara. Sometimes the most beautiful moments are found on the other side of our comfort zones."
"And what if it all goes wrong?" your eyes search his face, searching for reassurance.
He lifts your chin with a finger, his gaze locking onto yours with intensity. "What could possibly go wrong, little lamb?" His body gets closer to yours. "Sometimes we have to take risks, even if they scare us. Life is too short to be bound by fear and what-ifs."
"Ok..." you murmur. You takes a deep breath, feeling a surge of determination welling up within you.
A knowing smile tugs at the corners of his lips as he leans closer, your faces inches apart. "That's the spirit, little lamb. Let's create a memory worth cherishing."
As your eyes lock in a powerful gaze, an electric current of anticipation fills the air. The room falls into a hushed silence, punctuated only by the sound of your breaths mingling. Without a word, you surrender to the magnetic pull drawing you two closer, yours lips yearning to meet.
Your mouths collide in a desperate and profound kiss. It starts softly, a gentle exploration of each other's lips, but quickly builds in intensity. The embrace deepens, your bodies pressed against one another, as your tongues intertwine in a dance of desire.
Lost in the heat of the moment, your inhibitions fade away. Every brush of your lips and every flicker of your tongues ignites a fire within, leaving you both breathless and consumed by the raw intensity, loosing yourselves in the taste and touch of one another.
You both are heavy breathing and moaning in each other's mouth. His hands are gripping your hips firmly, bumping your back against the wall and pressing his body onto yours, exploring every inch of it with his hands. You reach for his neck, desperately bringing him closer to you.
As your lips finally part, he left a soft lick on your lips as if he needed one last taste of you.
"That was just a taste, little lamb," he murmurs, his voice dripping with playful allure. "But there's so much more to explore." His hands now resting on your thighs, started to go up, lifting your dress delicately, reaching for the waistband of your panties, intertwining his fingers on it. A shiver runs down your spine. You meet his gaze, a hint of a smile playing on his lips.
"Is that a promise?" you whispers, your voice laced with a newfound boldness.
"Oh, consider it a guarantee. We've only just scratched the surface, and I intend to delve deeper." His own smile widens, a devilish glint in his eyes.
Taking a deep breath, his lips gently brushing against the delicate skin of your neck. You feel a shiver of pleasure course through your body, your senses heightened by the trail of kisses, in a mixture of tenderness and hunger.
You tilt your head to grant him better access, relishing in the exquisite sensation of his lips on your sensitive skin. Soft moans escape your lips as he explores the contours of your neck, your fingers instinctively find their way into his hair, tangling in the soft strands as you pull him closer, seeking an even deeper connection. He breaks away from your neck, his eyes locked with yours, filled with an unmistakable hunger.
"You know... little lamb, I'm a very religious man," he whispered. His hands pulling down the waistbands of your panties. "And as a religious man... I have to get on my knees sometimes."
He sinks to his knees before you, his gaze never leaving your face. You felt your panties reaching your ankles, your eyes locked onto his as he grabbed one of your legs resting it on his shoulder, in a instinctively move, your hand reaches for his head, holding onto his hair searching for balance.
"What do you mean?"
"I'm a Papa, mia cara." He reaches out, his hands gently grasping yours, and brings them to his lips, pressing a reverent kiss upon your knuckles.
"A Pa- Papa!?" your voice stammers, you look at him, your eyes widen in shock and disbelief. "But... how is that possible? You were in the hotel lobby, you... you seemed so different. And the elevator..."
"Yes. I'm a Papa," he says, his voice carrying a weight of significance. "I am not just an ordinary man."
You remain speechless, your mind swirling with a mixture of awe, confusion, and curiosity. The enormity of the revelation begins to sink in, as you contemplate the implications of being entangled with someone of such esteemed position and responsibility.
"Don't worry, little lamb. I'm not the one you're used to hear about, I'm a totally different one."
"What do you mean?" you finally manage to ask, your voice tinged with vulnerability.
"That mia cara... You're about to discover." He nuzzled his face deep between your legs, his face got close to your core, you could feel his warm breath against it. You pull his hair, making him let out a pleasant moan.
At the moment he brushed his lips in your core, you let out a loud moan. One of his hands reaches for your leg on his shoulder grabbing it tight, while the another one goes straight to your slick folds.
"Oh... Little lamb..." he bite his lips. "You're so wet..." He says while he moves his fingers from your clit to your entrance, pressing on it, teasing, as if he would push in. But instead of it, he removes his hand between your legs, and lick his fingers, closing his eyes with a low grunt coming out of his mouth.
In a desperate move, his mouth is close to your throbbing core again, his eyes locked with yours, both of his hands holding on your thighs keeping you firm standing in front of him while his tongue reaches for your clit, causing you to whine. Moving your hand to the back of his head pushing him even closer to your core, you can't help but moan, calling for him by his position of authority.
"P- Papa...! Papa...! Papa..."
His hand left your thigh and went straight to your entrance, teasing it with his fingertips. His mouth and tongue continued to work around your clit, alternating between licking and sucking it. You felt like you were losing your mind with the warm and wet sensation of his mouth and tongue. It sent shivers down your spine, made your legs tremble, and caused your eyes to roll back multiple times. You no longer had control of your body; you were bewitched by him.
He stood up from his knees, his hand still teasing your entrance. He cupped your chin with his free hand, making you look at him. You could see his face was all messy around his mouth. The tones that were once separated were now forming a pale shade of grey. Sliding his tongue out, he licked around his mouth and bit his bottom lip. Your eyes locked in a heated gaze, the air thick with anticipation and desire. In a moment of overwhelming longing and with an impulsive act, you held the back of his neck and went in for a kiss. Your lips collided in a desperate, sloppy embrace. Your mouths moved with a raw intensity, your tongues intertwining in a dance of urgency and longing. Slowly he pushed his fingers inside of you making you to whine on his lips and craving your nails on his neck. You moved your hips as you felt him moving his fingers inside of you, slowly, in and out. Your bodies pressing together in a fervent embrace, the kiss keeping your lips molded together, exploring, tasting, and conveying a deep hunger. Your hand leaving his neck, went straight to his hand between your legs pressing his fingers deep inside of you as if you were begging for him to go faster.
Your lips parted, your ragged breaths mingled in the space between you both. "Ple...Please... Fa..." trying to say something, you looked at his eyes with a begging looking on them, still pressing his hand between your legs.
"Oh? What? Please what?"
"Please... Faster..." A devilish smile crept across his lips, spreading slowly until it consumed his face.
His fingers started to move faster in and out inside of you, curling his finger to hit that spot, making you reaching for his shoulder holding it tight. His eyes gleamed with an inner fire. The corners of his mouth curled upwards, revealing a set of perfectly white teeth, adding to the enigmatic allure that surrounded him.
"You want it like that, little lamb? Yes? You want me to go like that?" his voice held a wicked charm, drawing you deeper into his web of temptation.
"Yes, yes, yes, yes!"
"Will you come, little lamb? Will you come for Papa?" his words caressed your senses, igniting a fire within you as he continued to weave his verbal enchantment. "If Papa keep going like this, the little lamb will cum on Papa's fingers?" each syllable was carefully chosen, designed to arouse and tease, leaving you hanging on his every word.
"Yes, Papa! I will!" As you reply to his question he removed his fingers inside of you.
"I don't think so, ragazza." he purred, his voice velvety and rich with innuendo. "Tell me, mia cara, how does it feel to be under the spell of my irresistible allure?" His hand reached the bulge on his pant, caressing it.
"Go... Good, sir." You closed your legs, pressing them together as you saw the large protuberance under his hand.
"Bene." He nodded as his hand unbuttoned his pants, uncovering his hardness. "Tell me, mia cara, don't you think Papa also deserve to be worshiped?" His words painted vivid pictures in your mind, igniting your imagination and fueling your desire as he stroked his length slowly.
"Yes." You replied already getting on his knees, but he stopped you holding your arm making you to get up.
"Come with me, cara." He said as his hand slid from your arm to your hand, grabbing it taking you with him to an armchair close to the window.
He sits on it looking at you standing still in front of him. "Take it off." He points to your dress tilting his hand.
You slowly start to pull up your dress above your head as he grabbed his erection pumping it looking at you, following your move with his eyes as you removed your dress throwing it away on the floor.
"Brava ragazza. You look so sinful for a little lamb of God," his eyes traveled every inch of your body making you feel exposed. You tried to cover your body with your hands making him give you a look of disapproval. "Fermati con questa stronzata! On your knees!"
You obeyed him by getting on your knees in front of him and resting your hands on his thighs. As you watched him still pumping his erection, you gave him an innocent yet malicious look and bit your bottom lip while looking at his hardness. You noticed a glistening liquid leaking from the tip and got your face close to it, pressing your lips on the tip and letting them get glossy from the liquid. He removed his hand, and you grabbed it with one of yours. He gently tangled his fingers in your hair, bringing your head a little closer to his erection. You licked your glossy lips from the glistening liquid and let out a soft moan.
"Cazzo!" His fingers firmly grabbed your hair as he closed his eyes twisting his head back.
As you licked the tip, he let out low pleasure noises. The grip on your hair tightened as he started to pull it, feeling you circle your tongue around it before you licked from the base to the tip and gave a hard suck. You slowly took him into your mouth, using your tongue around the length. You started to take him even deeper into your mouth, making him moan even louder.
"Merda! Who would think the little lamb of God could suck a cock like that?"
You begin to move your head up and down, taking all of him into your mouth. You gag a little as you reach the base, but you continue to listen to him moaning and cursing in an unknown language. You feel yourself getting wet, so you close your legs and press them together, letting out a moan around his hardness. You pull off him to catch your breath, noticing how dizzy he looks as he stares at you as if he's under your spell. As you delicately stroke his hardness with your hand, he starts to move his hips, thrusting against your hand. You take him back into your mouth, letting him thrust deep inside as the rhythm of his thrusts increases and he reaches the back of your throat.
"Stop! Merda! Come with me." He cupped your cheek, stopping you, pulling him out of your mouth. He quickly got up and took you by the hand, effortlessly lifted you off your feet and playfully tossed you onto the bed making you gasp, while your heart raced with anticipation. He began to undress, lowering his pants and kicking them away from him. He also unbuttoned his shirt and discarded it.
Your eyes locked with his, a mixture of vulnerability and eagerness reflected in your gaze. A mischievous grin played on his lips as he slowly approached. With a predatory grace, he climbed onto the bed. Each knee pressing into the soft mattress, he positioned himself above you. With a devilish smile playing on his lips, he leaned in closer, his face mere inches from yours.
"Are you ready..." he asked in a whisper running his lips on yours. "Are you ready to let Papa tempt you to sin ?" he bit your lower lip gently and pulled it towards him, your lips parted away, sighing in pleasure by his words.
"You... you're such a tease." You said breathing heavily. His presence was intoxicating.
"Oh, mia cara, I do enjoy pushing your limits, seeing you unravel under my touch." His eyes traced the contours of your face, a flicker of anticipation danced in his gaze, a silent invitation for you to surrender to the intoxicating spell.
"You... drive me crazy... in the most exhilarating way."
Sliding his hand between your legs, his eyes pierced on yours, you feel him running his fingers through your dripping folds. You help yourself but whimper by his touch.
"It's all part of the game, dolce. The dance of pleasure and anticipation." His fingers getting close to your entrance applying a slight pressure into it.
"Oh... Fuck, Papa... Please" You moaned gasping for breath, grabbing in a firm fist the sheets on the bed.
"Oh, cara, I loved to hear you begging. The way your voice trembles with desire, it's music to my ears." Leaning in, his voice, a seductive whisper made you shiver, he traced a path of kisses along your neck.
"Please... don't hold back anymore... Please sir, fuck me."
Trailing his fingers down your body, teasingly slow, he gracefully shifted his position, lowering himself to sit on his ankle before you. He maintained an intense gaze, his eyes locked with yours as he started to slowly spread your legs, holding your thighs and pulling you towards him.
"Fuck? Is that what you want, mia cara? Little lamb wants to be fucked?" Stroking his hardness slackly close to your core, he rubs the tip of it on your clit, making you to softly arch your back whimpering.
"Yes, please! Fuck me, please. I can't wait anymore" With a firm yet gentle grip, he reached out and took hold of your arm, guiding you to his lap.
You could feel the warmth of his body enveloping you, the sensation of his arms encircling your waist. "Then fuck yourself." He grinned wickedly.
His words sent an electric wave of pleasure down your body igniting a fire inside of you. You reached for his member, adjusting it, lowered your body slowly sinking it inside of you. Feeling it stretching your walls, you let out a load moan as a little pain mixed with pleasure consumed you by the feeling of his member filling you deep inside.
Before starting your moves, you took a deep breath, moving your hips up and down to get used to his size. "Fuck! So big!"As you began to bounce your hips faster, a loud moan escaped your mouth, making him grunt.
He bit his lower lip, a devilish smile played upon his lips as he felt your movements. "Oh, what a dirty mouth, ragazza..." a low chuckle escapes his lips.
Your movements became faster on top of him, and you couldn't take your eyes off of him. Your moans mixed with his, creating a competition to see who could moan louder. The pleasure between your legs intensified as he stretched your walls, firmly hugging your waist and thrusting inside of you. He slammed his hips, causing your movements to become erratic as you let him take control of the rhythm.
"Oh... merda, you're to tight, mia cara." His words echoed in your mind, making you clench around him. You reached for his shoulders, resting your arms on them. "So tight and wet for me..."
"Fuu...ck... Pa... Papa... Feels so goo... good." You left his shoulders trailing with your fingertips a lightly path along his chest.
"Yeah? Does Papa feels good inside of your tight pussy?" You were only able to nod. "I want words, tell me how good my cock feels inside of you, say it." He imposed it with a husky voice.
"Is... So good... I'm... so cl-" Squeezing your eyes shut, you rested your head on his shoulder moaning in a low tone close to his ear.
He didn't let you finish and lifted you from his lap, carefully maneuvering you onto the bed." Don't you dare to come yet. I'm not done yet." He stood at the edge of the bed, his eyes tracing every curve and contour of your body, a hunger burning in his gaze. "Turn, put your hands and your knees on the bed."
You turned your back towards him, doing what he asked you to do. You felt his hands grabbing your hips pulling you close to him, without a warning he pushes his length inside of you starting to thrust inside of you. The sound of his hips colliding against yours echoed around the room.
"Bellissima cara, Hah... Sei davvera. You feel so good around my cock. You take me so well." He kept thrusting as your walls started to clench around him. "Merda, don't do it, ragazza, don't make yourself even tighter around my cock."
"Papa... Don't stop... Don't stop until you make me cum." You said smirking mischievously.
"Oh, little lamb, you're such a ragazza birichina, aren't you?"He used one of his hands to lower your back while continuing to thrust inside of you. "I'll make you cum for me, naughty little lamb of mine." You could feel him going deeper inside you, hitting the perfect spot. The rhythm only grew more intense as he felt your insides twitching around his length. His hand left your back and went to the heat between your legs, reaching for your clit. His fingers moved faster, massaging it.
"I'm not a-!" before you could finish the sentence, your walls clenched around him once again bringing a intense orgasm and a loud moan. You couldn't stop twitching around his member as your orgasm continued to run the full length of him. He didn't stop with his moves, he leaned his body on top of yours, kissing your shoulder. His hand reached for your hair grabbing a good amount of the locks of your hair pulling your head back, exposing your neck leaving a hard suck on it.
"Yes, cara, you came so good on my cock!" He aligned his body behind you leaving your clit, holding your waist strongly with both of his hands. The tightness of your walls was too much for him to handle. "You're so good, your pussy feels so good, cazzo, mia cara! I'm going to-" He pulls his member out, stroking it faster before finish himself on your lower back, his moans filling the room as you felt a heat hitting your back.
You collapsed onto the bed, his hands supporting himself on the sides of your body. Both of you were breathing heavily, and no words were spoken. He lay beside you, looking at you while you tried to recover your senses. His hand rested on your back, delicately and slowly caressing it. His face got closer to yours, and he left a soft peck on your lips.
"Stay here," you nodded as he got up and went to the bathroom, quickly returning with a towel in his hand. He approached you and cleaned your lower back. You smiled at him, letting out a sigh. After he finished cleaning you, he went back to the bathroom and returned, lying on your side.
"Thank you." You smiled feeling him passing his arm around your waist bringing you close to him.
"I just realized that I didn't tell you my name." His hand rested on your face, cupping your cheek and caressing it.
"Yes, sir. You didn't," you closed your eyes, feeling his touch lying your head on his chest.
"You can call me as Terzo. What about you? What is your name... little lamb?" He said it in a playful tone.
Grammar
⸻
(Mia) Cara - (My) dear
Merda! - Shit!
Sii attenta! Guarda dove vai, bella! - Pay attention! Look where you are going, pretty!
Nessun problema, bella ragazza - No problem, pretty girl
Mi scusi principessa, buonanotte - Excuse me princess, goodnight
Sì? - right?
Sei sicura di quella? Sembri un agnello debole di Dio, piccola. - Are you sure about that ? You look like a weak lamb of God, little girl.
Ma certo che no, mi dispiace... - Of course not, I'm sorry...
Bellissima cara, Hah... Sei davvera - Beautiful dear, Hah... You're so good.
Cazzo! - Fuck!
Dolce - Sweet
Ragazza birichina - Naughty girl
Brava ragazza - Good girl
Fermati con questa stronzata - Stop with this bullshit
Bene - Good
#smut bellow the cut#ghost fanfiction#ghost fic#the band ghost fanfic#the band ghost fic#ghost band#ghost bc#terzo smut#terzo x y/n#terzo emeritus#terzo#terzo x reader#ghost terzo#terzo x female reader#papa emeritus smut#papa emeritus iii fanfiction#papa emeritus iii#papa iii#papa emeritus terzo#papa emeritus 3#papa 3#papa terzo#papa terzo x reader#papa emeritus x reader#papa emeritus lll
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Hi Mirra!
Have you written any headcanon, metas, discussions, or fics about your concept of the "Faithful Haradrim"? If so, could you please tell me where to find them? If you haven't yet, would you mind sharing some info of your headcanons (anything at all) about their history and culture?
I'm a big fan of your Harad artwork and concepts (including the Blue Wizards), and it's all clearly founded on a rich, complex world you've created for them in your head. I would definitely love to learn more! :) I do also plan on including more about the Haradrim culture and history in my upcoming fanfics, so I would love to hear an expert's ideas on them.
Thank you for sharing your work with us!
@sotwk
Was very happy to discover your message in my ask box!
Thank you for your interest and willingness to include more Haradrim content into your writing, but I'm afraid you might find my views rather... boring 😆
I also must apologise in advance if any of my phrases may not seem polite enough or turn out to be grammatically incorrect - English is not my first language.
Disclaimer! What is written below represents my personal view! It is in no way intended to hurt or discredit anyone’s head canons, views and ideas!
My Chinese calligraphy teacher once told me: "Do you want to assume or to learn? Decide on the approach before you make theories about anything."
And I follow the strategy of "to learn" before I "assume". So, first and foremost, I'm still in search of bits of information about the peoples who inhabited Harad and Rhun (South and East) of Middle-earth.
My goal is not so much to create head cannons as to draw the audience's attention to the canon and the Professor's own vision. Accordingly, in working through his letters, essays, and volumes of the History of Middle-earth, I am trying to draw parallels that someone as educated as Professor Tolkien might have drawn.
I also categorically disagree with the images created in the movies, where the conventional evil is more caricatured than frightening, and the motives and history of the conflict are not shown at all (Faramir’s saying about Haradrim’s fate is at least included, which is great, even if it wasn’t his in books). When my best friend dragged me into the Silmarillion story couple of years ago, I was amazed at how distorted the perception of these regions was in adaptations.
So, thinking about the existence and struggles of Faithful Haradrim, I rely on the history of the region and possible historical patterns. Such a vast region simply cannot have a common culture. It is the idea that can unite them. But, as in our reality, cultural features, symbolism and colours may differ. For example, we know that those who came with Sauron's army, performed under red flags with snakes. Does that mean that the entire vast region walked exclusively in the same colours? It seems unlikely to me.
As for the Blue Wizards, blue in general is a colour very 'inherent' to many cultures in the Global South. I suppose that's why the Professor dressed Alatar and Pallando in those colours. And accordingly, in my opinion, Faithful Haradrim could use these colours in their robes and on their banners, but not necessarily. It is not the colour that reflects the inner essence of a person.
Of course, when thinking about this or that image, I think about where exactly these people live, what the level of metallurgy development is present in different Ages, whether there is a sea or mountains nearby - all this affects how their armour\architecture\symbolism could have developed. In general, I draw parallels with real anthropology and the history of the development of civilisations. Books about the regional patterns, military and weapon history etc are of big help here too.
Sometimes, of course, I make things up. For example, when I first read the lines about the Blue Wizards not returning to Valinor, I didn't take it in a negative light. After all, they could have stayed in Middle-earth willingly, having become attached and imbued with the problems of the region, of the people. After all, Alatar and Curumo were the only ones who were not afraid to volunteer to fight Sauron.
I also like the later version, in which the Blue Wizards arrive in the Second Age. It makes more "sense" given the nightmare that the Númenorians had wrought in the region. But even among them, I'm sure there were some people who sympathised and helped the local population. I don't believe in black and white in principle. But I do believe in post-truth.
So, in essence, I'm a boring canonist who treats the author's writings and views with great respect. And the myth of the Haradrim and Easterlings being bad guys by all accounts is almost as well-established as the supposed lack of religion, holy Dunedain and cute glowing elves. Which is, in my opinion, in no way consistent with Tolkien's own philosophy and stance.
Perhaps what I came up with from scratch was a sign, a Faithful Haradrim symbol, that those could use to identify each other. People need symbols, faith and ideas. Especially in such trying times. That's the way we are.
Oh, I'm afraid if I go on, it'll be a whole essay. So I think I'll stop here. Thanks again for your question and your interest! I'm sorry if I disappointed you, haha.
Good luck with your writing - I'm so happy there're people out there, who're genuinely interested in the region! ❤
P.S. If everything goes well, I plan to release a zine about Harad at the end of the year. With quotes and the obligatory notes of personal theories not to confuse the reader.
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The ambiguity in Annie's love life has always been really compelling to me. I'm gonna discuss some of the facets of this below.
First off, Annie responds to Mort's supposed romantic "claim" on her (via the blinker stone) with a level of anger that shocks both Mort and Kat. That's such a fascinating scene to me. I think it's the first time in the comic that we really get a taste of Annie's temper, and it's in the context of her not wanting to be claimed by a suitor against her will.
Then there's Jack. Annie doesn't seem to know how to act around him, while the question of whether she genuinely has a crush on him is left unanswered; she veers between acting awkwardly and not seeming to know how to treat him, to deliberately manipulating him to hurt him after hearing about her mother doing the same to Renard (and based on Irial's advice), to - this is my interpretation, anyway - offering him a kiss because she thinks that's what you're supposed to do in such situations, not because she genuinely wants to. The way Jack refuses her kiss and gives her a hug instead always seemed to me like, to a certain level, pity? He's learned over the course of the chapter that Annie is a mess who has no idea what she's doing, least of all romantically, and he doesn't want to take advantage of that. At least, that's how I always interpreted that moment.
"The Torn Sea" really makes a point of emphasizing that Annie has no partner while most of her friends have paired off. I'm still not sure why - and it's possible, I guess, that the chapter only does this for comedic effect. It's also more than possible that we haven't reached the point in Annie's arc that will make all these past moments make sense in retrospect. There's also, of course, the moment in "Dealing With HER" where the Annies briefly discuss having a crush on someone. And the moment in "Annie and the Forest" when Annie is asked if she has a "love back home," misunderstands the question and says "Yes, my friend Kat," and then, when it's clarified, mentally scrolls through the list of boys she knows before settling on Jack with a confused look on her face. And speaking of "Annie in the Forest," there is, of course, her crush on Kamlen, which is also contrasted with a (maybe?) crush on Jones in "Divine," hinting that Annie might be bi.
A lot is going on here, but it all fits into the broader context of who Annie is. This is way more apparent in earlier chapters than later ones, but socially, she's a strange, underdeveloped girl who was raised in isolation and doesn't quite know how to navigate the world of school-age drama. Her awkwardness and lack of experience in romance are part of a broader character arc that highlights her social ineptitude; while her peers pair off, she's left alone, and attention is drawn to this by the narrative, both in terms of friendships and romantic relationships (although she does have a small group of friends other than Kat by the later days of the comic).
She learns how to behave based on mimicry, which, in the romantic context, is especially apparent in "Faraway Morning," when she mimics her mother's behaviour and Irial's advice to manipulate Jack, to disastrous results, before eventually relenting and admitting she regrets it. She does have crushes, but she doesn't know how to act on them properly. In fact, since the question of whether she actually has a crush on Jack or was just trying to manipulate him for revenge is left unanswered, I don't know if we've ever really seen Annie acting on a crush at all.
With all this in mind, I don't really have a concrete opinion or theory on "who Annie will end up with," only my personal opinion that I would rather she didn't end up with anyone at all.
It's very very common for main characters to "end up with" somebody, but the way the comic has treated Annie's love life has, so far, been much more complex and nuanced than that. I don't think she's aromantic (although I totally understand and respect why someone would headcanon that) - I do think she has romantic crushes, that there's canon evidence for her being bisexual, and that the comic wants us to pay attention to everything it's doing in regards to her romantic leanings. I also think, and hope, that Gunnerkrigg intends to subvert the "who will the main character end up with?!" question that every other piece of media in history has asked, by saying: "No one." That answer is, to me, far more in keeping with the nuance the comic has managed towards Annie's romantic leanings than "she ends up with Kat," or any other possible pairing, would be. I would rather the answer be left cryptic instead of made concrete, like many other concepts in the comic have been.
To finish: I have long thought Gunnerkrigg is about the fierce, loyal, powerful platonic love between Annie and Kat. The dyadic friendship that unites forest and Court, technology and magic, fantasy and science fiction. The idea of them being in love with each other is nowhere near as compelling to me as the idea of them caring about each other so deeply they would do anything for the other, without being in romantic love.
(If Annie and Kat do get together, I would also question how quickly and unceremoniously Paz got booted out of the comic to make way for this pairing, but that's neither here nor there, lol.)
#gunnerkrigg#gunnerkrigg court#I hope this makes sense lmao I banged this out in like 15 minutes and now it's way too long
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Hi there! Lovely blog 🥲 I came across a post about Rin (and his jaded side), which inspired me to rant a bit myself. I apologise if this lacks distinctness - English is not my native language, I also write on the bus so it must be worse than usual. Lastly, I don't have the alchemy of the verb so I tend to write more mud than gold lol. Anyways, I'd like to say something about Rin's ego (I'm consciously using arguments that I haven't seen yet, so I'll say very little about Rin's material living conditions such as the role of his age, his personality, the social impact of being Sae's brother etc, his “brother complex”...)
Well, mainly I find there are many parallels to be drawn between Nagi's character and Rin's, especially when it comes to their relationship with soccer (incidentally, the discussion they had at the end of the Manshine VS PXG match highlights their common problem; they have no ego). No… in fact I would say that there is a fundamental distinction between Nagi and Rin (absence of ego versus negation of the ego). I'm going to use schopenhauerian elements here (lightly) by integrating them with Kojève's ideas (the most primitive to the development of his thought on history). I don't think this is Kaneshiro’s ambition (but Schopenhauer (SC) drew heavily on Buddhist (anatman) and Hindu philosophy, so why not...) but Rin deals with the suffering of the world (equivalent here to the abandonment of his brother, who initially served as the pivot around which his reality revolved) by sublimating his own interiority (ego); he erases his 'ego' so as to become a footballer (he disappears in his work). For SC, the aim of the work is to develop an intuition that proposes a division of the world (a feeling of strangeness in the face of the notion of existence), which in itself makes it possible to overcome its absurdity (of the world). Moreover, everything Rin enjoys revolves around the question of the place or confirmation of the self within its realm (horror films = quest to feel/ his favorite music evokes the inability to find one's place in the world + Ciguatera (one of his favorite manga) tells the story of a young hopeless man with no goal outside of getting a bike and his new friends who gradually build themselves up in the midst of adolescence). Besides, in the same way that the abandonment of the Self is achieved through sublimation (freudian) in the work, it is also achieved through "charity" for Schopenhauer, and in some respects we could compare this to Rin's attitude before Sae's return (complacency towards his team-mates’s play style but also the stoic behaviour that emerged following Sae's departure).
It's true that, in the past, Rin undertook every action symmetrically to Sae's (theory of mimetic desire, which partly explains his disproportionate reaction to Sae's new purpose), whether through peer pressure or "willpower", although these dynamics can be criticised, they enabled Rin to situate himself in the world (shared existence creates a sense of belonging). He was the brother of the best (“even if my brother is stronger, he is still my brother, he treats me like his brother, we are equal, perhaps equivalent, we share a common humanity”). Except that this repression of the ego comes into conflict with the desire or struggle for recognition after Sae's return when he challenges Rin's perception of their shared humanity. Sae rejects Rin's humanity by telling him that he didn't see any value in him other than his ability as a player (which Sae doesn't recognise at the time). At this point, Sae imbues Rin with the idea that a being IS based on the object of his desire (to be, you have to desire something that surpasses the "need". A position that Sae continues to defend, particularly when he tells Sendo that his quest was primitive, even animal, so much so that it focused on primary needs (reproduction/affection (family), security (good salary/ position in the national team)... during this exchange he clearly establishes himself as the authentic human (free) being compared to a bunch of animals or sub-humans (enslaved)). One’s humanity (unlike animality, low things) is defined by the victory of conquering the desire of another being (the recurring theme of bllk). Whoever achieves this on his own, is in a sense, the master and the vanquished is a slave (master-slave dialectic), and while the master obtains recognition of his humanity from the slave, the master does not recognise the humanity of the slave.
In this way, self-awareness becomes a function of the other's awareness of us, and Rin integrates (even if he fights against it) his inhumanity (animality, even) and his subordinate position in relation to his brother (he’s the slave). Therefore, they are no longer brothers since they no longer recognise each other as equals. As a result, Rin performs a double negation of the ego (more or less voluntary and/or undergone), first through self-denial (for the benefit of others) and then through non-recognition (Sae’s abandonment). In addition, this could explain his jadedness and the disdain that you pointed out in your susdite post, because the value of the recognition I receive is a faction of the value of the recognition I give to others. In other words, the master gets recognition from the slave but it's not adequate because he doesn't recognise the slave, so the slave's recognition is worth almost nothing (as for now Rin doesn't care about soccer or blue lock, the aristos/master in his microcosm is Sae (Isagi only in relation to Sae) and, as in ancient Greece, the aristoi only recognise each other. In this sense, Rin seeks to recognise his own existence in the approval of his master (someone he wants to be equal to) and not in his work (if we're talking materialism, in Marxian thought, work is a means for man to recognise his own existence in the world in a broader sense, Rin really does live in a microcosm, but that can be explained by other factors) using outdated or even archaic means (for the venerative connotation of the term). It's funny that it's during the u20 match that he thinks it's imperative for him to make his mark on history. Even if I doubt Kaneshiro's qualities in this area, I'm still looking forward to seeing Rin's evolution in the quest for his true "ego" or "personal identity"now that he's started it, and he's wondering (I don't believe in these things but it could be interesting).
That said, I apologise for the length (I did try my best to keep it short), grammatical errors, spelling mistakes and inconsistencies. I only hope that I have been sufficiently comprehensible. Thank you for reading if you happen to do so. Have a nice day 😁
woah this was a full on psych thesis. Thanks! It was pretty long but I do enjoy your points and connections. I def agree that to Sae, Rin is still attatched to sub par desires and his recognition means nothing. I wonder if Sae's edginess isn't fully due to trauma but also realizing how futile Rin's way of thinking is. He just doesn't know how to properly explain it without being rude as hell.
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for FELIX 👪 / for NICK 👪
Felix Ranström. I'm talking about them all LOL
He has a complex relationship with all of his family members, but they all play a part in who he is. They're all influential dynamics, it's really exciting to write. Being closer in age meant he had a slight overlap of a childhood with Nina, so in some ways it's easy to say they're close to one another. But Nina worked out how to balance social enjoyment and career climbing, whereas Felix never did. He views it as wearing a mask whereas Nina views it as the easiest thing to do, so it's always interesting to me to see where they overlap and where they differ. He's not judged as harshly by Nina, either. Whereas Felix's relationship with Oskar seems really hostile on the surface. Their age difference meant Oskar was already an impressive person to compare himself to as Felix was growing up, so he sits firmly in the belief that Oskar is the favored child. However, I love the glimpses of brotherhood between them where you can see Oskar genuinely cares for Felix but doesn't quite know how to show it. Felix's admiration for Oskar can become jealousy quickly and oof it's just so exciting to write. Love it. And then there's Filippa, who was the OG black sheep in many ways. Felix is drawn to her for many reasons, firstly because he feels less alone but also because she's an interesting person. However, I love that she isn't a complete contradiction to their family and isn't this abundance of warmth and you can still see that she's wealthy and had a cold upbringing. I think it's a great contrast to write against because it's the closest thing Felix has to a warm family connection but still isn't quite as warm as actual loving families.
Nick Belcourt
I love all of them so I'm going to write about all of them but forgive me because HE'S NEW so I haven't been able to get as indepth with him yet. I think Nick definitely idolizes his mother and would be quite funny if the siblings labeled him as a mama's boy, but I think he really admires her and especially after their father's death. Nick and Sebastian's relationship is going to be really fun to explore because on the surface they're quite different but there's this unspoken bond between them that actually, it's pretty rare to see them not around one another. They even live together and me and Essie have a few HCs already that their brotherly dynamic is pretty seamless, especially being twins, we said there's moments even when they're disagreeing that they have identical mannerisms which will be funny to write. Nick and Bella, we've taken a few HCs over from Nick and Lily and I'm excited to explore them, he definitely annoys her purposely but beyond that they view the world quite similarly and have this very diplomatic approach to things. So there's definitely moments where Nick has turned to Bella for advice and he can't imagine going to anyone else for it either. For Nick and Prim, he's typical big brother with baby sister and is quite protective but he doesn't outwardly say this. He actually gets quite hurt if Prim thinks he's not cool enough to hang out with for something too.
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ok so i was just looking around a bit and i saw a post about AidaIro.. my apologies if youve already seen it by the way-!!
i will copy and paste it. :)
heres the post:
The rumor is/was that Aida, the artist, have a like for shotacon. The rumor is based on two things:
The first one is that Aida apparently draw in their Twitter an art (not a sexual one, since Aida haven't draw anything explicit, ever) of a character from a shota game. I saw the art, but since I don't know that game and it didn't have any name attached, I couldn't look for more information about it. So this first part is debatable, not confirmed.
The second part of the rumor is... Well, some TBHK artworks. Here I have to concede that Aida did draw characters, especially Hanako, in suggestive ways. In the past. Back in 2015-2016. Here you have some example tweets with arts that... well, when I look at them, I ask myself: "why? why make children pose like that, or make a focus at those parts of their bodies?"
You have to think that sexualization is not only explicit sex, naked people, etc. It's as well suggestion. In the same way, shotacon is not only drawing naked children or them having sex. That it's at the minimum, a proof of Aida not caring a lot about crossing visual sexual insinuations with characters that look like children. You can make a pass to the sexual puns and all of that, since well, they're teenagers (and if anything, that would be Iro's fault, not Aida's). But that's a different topic.
Anyways! thats the end of the post and im kind of questioning alot of things now..or maybe im overreating..? what do you think?
Hi :) I saw those tweets, no worries, but your question is very interesting and you don't have to apologize :) I'm glad you asked the question!
As for Aida, this is the first time I hear it from you. I've never come across a rumor before since I've been jshk fandom, but it's actually wondering. Unfortunately I cannot confirm this.
Yes, I saw it and I was very dissatisfied, but we are talking about Japan here and the subject is more complex. Shotcon means something different in Japan than in the west but more on that in a moment. The rumor may have some truth in those tweets from years ago on their Twitter, it may be a hint that it may be true, but it's also impossible to say if it's true, it really can't be confirmed and one can only wonder. I will say this way. These tweets are not 100% sure. They are only circumstantial, not 100% proof. Looking at Amane, I really wonder if the rumor was true, but that's my personal feeling and considering what they do in the jshk series and what game they released, I wouldn't be surprised.
You're right, shotcon doesn't mean sexualizing the erotic way, and that's mostly in Japan. This can be a very suggestive way as seen in Hanako. The problem is that in Japan the age of consent for s*x is 13. I've seen manga that contain erotic scenes from 13 year I personally don't like it and how Amane was drawn. I suspect that such scenes with Hanako's body and not only are just legal there.
You have a right to be the way you feel and I don't think you're exaggerating. I feel the same when I look at their old tweets. I feel so uncomfortable watching these tweets but what is weird and immoral is for us, to them is normal I guess.
I love Japan, but there are many things I don't like and just allowing these things at 13 is one of them and drawing children in a suggestive way or the availability of some manga containing THESE SCENES at 13.
I think it's both of them's fault, if Iro does it then Aida agrees so. I don't see here to w one person to blame. I blame both of them. They're both guilty, but like I said, it's normal for them and they don't see anything wrong with it.
Although I think they don't see anything wrong with exposing it in a suggestive way. They already have a problem with naked bodies. I guided by what they wrote in volume 1
I can only guess from what they did in this case and my conclusion is this: I guess they think that suggestive things like those in Amane are less evil and harmless than naked bodies? hmm. But I still think it's wrong. Suggestion may seem like the less evil to them, but it's still… it's wrong.
I hope I conveyed it well.
Thanks for asking the question.
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To celebrate the beginning of @dickensdaily, a substack which sends out Dickens Novels in line with their original serialisation schedule, beginning with Great Expectations (serialised December 1860 to August 1861), here's:
Reasons to read Great Expectations
I've done my best to keep this spoiler-free, so you should be able to read without ruining anything for yourself.
The characters
PIP: a Perfectly Imperfect Protagonist
Himbo With A Hammer
Local Woman Knows How To Hold A Grudge
Out Of Your League
Cinnamon Roll with Fruit (slightly squashed)
...and more...
Queer Themes
Obviously this is very much a matter of interpretation, but Great Expectations has room for readings around:
Homosociality / homoromanticism / homoeroticism
Compulsory (hetro-)sexuality
Non-traditional families and domestic arrangements
Other Themes
Social class (especially: "What makes a gentleman?")
Trauma
Child and domestic abuse (physical and emotional)
The law (criminality, punishment, money, property, etc)
...and more...
Genres
Great Expectations fits into several genres. [Descriptions below drawn from wikipedia.]
'Coming of Age' story / Bildungsroman (a genre that focuses on the psychological and/or moral growth of a protagonist from childhood to adulthood)
Sensation novel (a genre which reached peak popularity in the 1860-70s, and which 'has been variously defined as a "novel-with-a-secret" and which combines "romance and realism"')
elements of the social novel (a "work of fiction in which a prevailing social problem, such as gender, race, or class prejudice, is dramatized through its effect on the characters of a novel".)
elements of the Gothic (a 'loose literary genre of fear and haunting', often including 'the intrusion of the past upon the present')
One of Dickens' best novels
Great Expectations was Dickens' second-to-last completed novel, so he was at the top of his game at this point.
According to wikipedia, "in the 21st century, the novel retains good ratings among literary critics."
It's also popular with the general public. In 2003, the BBC surveyed 750,000 people in 'The Big Read' to find the UK's "best-loved novel", and Great Expectations ranked 17th.
The first Dickens novel I read, it remains my favourite Dickens, both as a story and as a work of art.
One of his most accessible novels
If you haven't read any Dickens before (or have, but struggled), Great Expectations may be the place to start.
It's one of his shorter novels, so less intimidating and easier to finish than many other Dickens books.
It's also in first person which mitigates some of the things people often struggle with in Dickens' writing:
With some Dickens novels, it can be difficult to tell what the 'main story' is because there are so many intersecting plotlines. In Great Expectations, we're essentially reading Pip's memoirs from his childhood to his young-adulthood, so we can understand all the other stories through Pip's story.
Likewise, we meet all the other characters through Pip, so the feeling of "who are all these people???" I often get from Dickens novels is reduced. We know characters through their relationship to Pip.
Dicken's minor characters are often caricatures, with features of their personality, appearance or manner exaggerated to create a comic or grotesque effect. Dickens likely did this to help readers more easily recall characters over the stretched-out timeframe of serial publication, but it can be jarring to modern readers. Because Great Expectations is from Pip's point of view, his subjectivity frames the caricatures; it feels natural that they lack complexity because Pip doesn't know the inner world of everyone he passes on the street any more than you or I do.
Dickens can often go on tangents/'rants' about society and social injustice at the time he was writing. This was a force for social change at the time, but can be baffling and/or boring to modern readers. Because Great Expectations is in the first person, when these 'rants' appear they feel more like 'my friend Pip grumbles about things that affect his life and the people around him' so are easier to engage with.
Bonus: a Choice of Endings...
Dickens originally wrote one ending for the novel, and then - following conversation with another novelist - changed it ahead of publication. This means that there are two endings of the novel to choose from, which is an interest interactive element.
#i just love this book so much#the other thing i love about it i haven't really mentioned here is that#it just feels very psychologically *real*#if that makes sense#great expectations#dickens daily#charles dickens#tumblr book club#serialisation#reading
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Hello dear! I would like to be honest with you.
Dear author, I really doubt my ability to write my idea.
Since I'm more of a reader than a writer..
(The only thing I am able to write decently are poems, usually in my native language, which is Spanish, but the rest is somewhat complex for me haha)
I really think I would feel better if you could write about this twst au. I feel like you would do a great job with it!
But if you find it difficult or uncomfortable, I could help you by talking about this au to work on it.
I can understand that you might not actually like the idea of using my idea to create this Dark Twst au, but I sincerely think that you, beloved author, can put my idea to better use with your writing.
Obviously your decision is the important thing here, so I won't insist if you don't want to do it. (Although it would be nice if it did, because I feel Dark twst au would be something with a lot of potential on your hands..)
I'm repeating myself and rambling, sorry.
Going back to talking about the dark au (I guess that's what I'll call it for now)
Thinking about what you mentioned…
In fact, you're right, Malleus would be in great danger in this au or rather every fae in twisted wonderland. But focusing on malleus..
It would definitely be something to consider.
First he is a fae
Second is royalty
And third is one of the 5 strongest magicians in the world, right?
(I think he was one of the 5, I don't remember..)
So if it's a big obstacle to that group's plans, but they can't get rid of it easily either. That is to say, he has Lilia by his side while he attends school and we already know that Lilia is an old fae, probably one of the fae who knows about the "Forgotten History" of twisted wonderland or was even one of the victims who managed to escape from the claws of that group
So, Lilia is not a fool, he must know that Malleus and all Fae are exposed to danger outside of his land, the valley of thorns.
And Malleus must have known of the existence of this danger from a young age, but… I don't think he knows the absolute truth of the group and what they did to his people long ago, he was only notified with the essentials so that he would be alert. and could protect himself once he was out of his home.
Oh, now that I see this, in truth the Dark au has a lot to work and create..
Anyway, that's what I had to say dear author! please think about what I said at the beginning, without pressure of course.
And take care of yourself and maybe I'll write more Dark things to you or just twst ideas/questions to talk to you~
After all it's nice to talk to you 💜
(By the way, could I draw something for you? If you allow me please tell me your favorite twst character and any oc or representation that I can use for the drawing, that's all, bye~)
Oh don't worry, you haven't made me uncomfortable with your idea.
The thing is, an au can take a lot of work and time and at the moment I am still releasing basic information about my Otome au. So maybe in the future. We will see.
Now that I think about it, Malleus could be in even more trouble than we believed. Man over there is a dragon Fae and what is said about dragons that is important in a lot of fantasy stuff? Their tears (and the red stuff but I'm feeling a bit more fluffy today). So he will be probably there for a long time so they can get absolutely everything from him. Also, would any Fae groups be going up against the human group trying to do that? Who knows...
Also, feel free to draw me something. I absolutely adore stuff from you all no matter if you have just begun or have drawn since the day you became strong enough to grip a crayon. I don't have a favorite, like someone who is number one and they have to share the pedestal but my absolute favorites are Malleus (who would have thought -_-), Vil and Azul. For the Oc you can use Ende but if you want to make something more like me in real life person then you can also just take her make her hair brown and eyes blue-dark grey. Skin color would be about the same (maybe a bit paler but that depends how the light falls.) Also add glasses. I don't really feel comfortable with sharing my exact appearance (this is the internet I'm not taking any risks) so I hope this is alright.
Hope to hear from you again! These small sessions are really nice!
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I wish they’d stop trying to make people feel bad for these characters who’ve done horrific & unforgivable things. Like they’ve been doing it with Merula for as long as I can remember & it seemed like they were trying to do it with Rakepick last chapter too. At least with Merula it’s a bit more acceptable since she’s still a teenager/young adult so she still has some time to better herself even though it doesn’t excuse her actions & she really needs to wise up soon at this point. But Rakepick is a grown ass woman in her mid 30s, her age isn’t an excuse whatsoever. Doing those things because R told her to doesn’t let her off the hook at all. Like if people are gonna forgive her for “just following orders” then maybe they should forgive the other R members too because chances are a fair number of them are in the same or similar situations that she was. Plus her no longer being in R doesn’t automatically make her a good person & neither does fighting off like 2 dementors, it just doesn’t erase any of the things she’s said & done.
I can understand that frustration, anon. The trouble is, this is an extremely common trope.
Introduce a villain, make them do horrible thing, and then try to introduce their more sympathetic qualities or backstory, to put the audience in an awkward position of caring about a person who's actions aren't compatible with that. Emotional upheaval of the finest variety, exactly what writers want from their audiences. They want to write complex characters who the audience get invested in. Rooting for a character or hating them is one thing, but being confused by them? That's a feat in a league of it's own.
Or at least...it is when it works, but it doesn't always. Every writer ever wants to create what Prince Zuko of ATLA had. A villain with a proper redemption arc. But the thing is, every character's journey is a gamble from the writer, based on their own skills in storytelling. Ideally, the reader/viewer/player will feel the way the writer wants them to feel about the character. But people are complicated and different, and if a story succeeds in making the character complex...or just utterly fails Step 2 and doesn't manage to make the villain likeable...more often than not, you have a frustrated audience watching the story tell them that this character is going to be redeemed when they haven't earned that.
Rakepick will never be a good person. I accept any development and sympathetic qualities they might give her, personally, because I just want her to be complex again. But if it's any consolation, I really don't think the writers are aiming to redeem Rakepick. We still know so little about her as a person, about her backstory or motivations...that redeeming her isn't really an equation that's been put on the board, so to speak. Even if we ignore all of the irredeemable shit that Rakepick did, the story just hasn't given us enough information about her for redemption to be possible. I don't think that's what the writers were after. Actually, I have a theory as to that.
I think Rakepick's appearance in Year 7 has one symbolic purpose (other than to foreshadow The Leader) and that is to give MC a look through the window into the future. This. This is what happens to people who throw their lives away to go after the power that R promises. They wind up locked away with nothing but their minds, and they won't have those for much longer. Rakepick was a world-famous curse-breaker, she was powerful, talented, confident, well-connected (friends with Dumbledore!) she basically had it made. She threw it all away to join The Cabal...and look where that got her. With how many times the game has drawn parallels between MC and Rakepick (to the point of having a chapter where MC literally turned into her.) I wouldn't be surprised if this was something of a cautionary tale for MC. Something to remember when R makes their final offer.
One more thing. You're quite right. Rakepick no longer being a part of R doesn't make her a good person. If she hadn't failed in The Sunken Vault, she would still be a loyal agent - it's not unlike the people who argue that Snape's turnaround is illegitimate because he would have remained with Voldemort if he'd targeted anyone other than Lily. That is probably true. However...I don't think it matters? Yes, if the circumstances that led to them breaking ties with their evil masters had not happened, then they wouldn't have done so...but that's just cause and effect. You could just as easily say that MC isn't a Curse-Breaker because if Jacob had never disappeared, they wouldn't have investigated the Vaults. But he did, so they did. The same reasoning applies here, at least for me. I'm not saying this makes Rakepick a better person. I'm saying, I don't care what sort of person she is. If she's turned on The Cabal, that could potentially make her a useful asset. It's the same calculation Dumbledore made about Snape. That being: Fuck morality, embrace pragmatism.
I feel like both Fawley kids would encourage Rakepick to escape with them for no other reason than because she knows The Leader's name. At any cost, MC should want to extract that information from her. Knowing the Leader's identity would be a game-changer. This is an opportunity that doesn't come along every day, and this is about as classified as it gets. I'll say it one more time: Fuck morality, embrace pragmatism. The Cabal murdered Rowan, and they're not going to stop. MC should use whatever and whoever they have at their disposal. Even her.
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Hobby Post: Interactive Environmental Design
Critics of the medium have said far more eloquently than I could that the trouble with modern interactive digital spacial design now is that as the standards of complexity increase, the ability for a clear and coherent artistic vision is restricted. In pure 2D, an artist only needs the skill and time to illustrate each scene. Once the third dimension was standardized in landmarks like Wolfenstein and Doom the artistic cost is illustrations to decorate each surface, and the skill sense and time to draw out a three-dimension space. That in itself requires the design sense needed to make it engaging and beautiful at the same time. Quake added the implementation of 3D models, which must be made separately and animated. The rapidly diversifying set of needed skills (all this still not to mention the coding to make it run) makes a single artist handling or even overseeing all aspects recedingly viable. In the modern age, the geometry of interactive spaces are all made seperately, as 3D models, and then collaged together.
This is, of course, unavoidable. One person can much more easily write a whole book than make a whole movie. But digital structures are immortal even if they go out of style, and the technology small-scale enough for a singular artist's hand is still floating around. Much of it has lingering niche communities still making masterworks with it, often to degrees unthinkable in the platform's hayday. This melding of the well-fed imaginations and potential today and the simplicity of then is probably the most directly one can stare down nostalgia: Take the best parts, and cut away anything unwanted in ways that at the time were never possible. It's as if it was always this good.
I enjoy developing for these situations a lot. Quake and Doom are my go-tos. Doom has had more retrofitting for modern ammenities, by far, but its tech is also marked by the quirk that its 3D spaces are "faked." The engine records spaces in 2D coordinates instead of 3D, and the vertical volume of each space is stored as a seperate datatype along with flat per-space lighting information. In a sense, spaces in Doom are drawn in topdown orthographic 2D and then vertically extruded into a reality. It's very unique, really a different way of thinking about measuring 3D space. Of course, this is also very limiting and means any kind of surface with a gradiented height can only be achieved using modern obscure tricks which modify the engine such as to allow for vertex points to contain vertical data as well, or extra data within each 2D shape for a slope angle.
Quake was in many ways the Genesis of 3D, with the more easily understood method of simply defining all shapes in 3D vertex coordinates. I don't think there's anything that can be done with Quake that can't be jury-rigged in Doom's engine, but for any kind of complex 3D design the ease of creation a standard 3D data system provides turns what before were flourish that required significant planning and effort into being as simple as a hand-sketch.
I think that's what really agrees with me in this sort of development. Collaboration is an important skill and I do enjoy it, but when each project is a layered pyramid of asset types and separated bits of work it's less flexible. A pyramid is designed and measured before even starting, then built from the bottom. When so much of the design is done in-engine it's easy to approach developing on these platforms like one would a sketch. Jump right into it, get the shapes out, add detail whenever and wherever. Rarely is it too late to revise, and attempting to bash out a concept is a small enough investment that if it doesn't work it can just be done over. It's sketching out bits of a face, feature by feature, shading whenever the compulsion to hits you even if you haven't even started other parts of the face yet. It's writing a novel instead of making a movie.
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Hi! For the writer questions: 5, 6, 29, 33 :)
5. What’s the fic you’re most proud of?
Probably my very first one, not because I think it's the most complex or the biggest feat, but because it's my first and I still re-read it sometimes and am genuinely so happy I wrote it, and a little shocked it came from me.
6. What element of writing do you find comes easily?
The soft and intimate scenes I find are the easiest to write. Damie really are just so trusting with each other and finding ways that each of them know one another on a deeper level is so fun to figure out.
I also didn't expect to be drawn to 2nd person writing. I guess it never really phased me when I was reading lots of fic, that 3rd person was "the norm", but I really feel writing in 2nd person is so easy, and it fits my style and the things I want to say so well. It allows me to dig deeper into a character in ways I have struggled with when attempting 3rd.
29. Have you ever gone outside of your comfort zone for a fic? How did it turn out?
I received a prompt AGES ago for a high school AU that I more or less shot down, due to my own neutral experience during high school and not really having a connection to that time. I didn't really feel I was the writer to explore that. But, I created a doc for it back then, and do find myself opening it from time to time to add some ideas or passages, and I think eventually, I will focus a bit more on it because I like what I have. If that ever sees the light of day, it'll be a longer one-shot. Whoever sent me that prompt, know I haven't forgotten it!!
I'm also working to adapt one of my favorite rom-coms into a Damie fic, which feels totally new and strange but is very fun! I'm also trying to write it in 3rd person, which I feel lends itself better to POV changes, but it is a challenge because of everything I said up there ^^, and I just constantly slip back into 2nd lol
33. Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process?
I mean. It's slow 😭 I'm sorry about prompts people have given me that just...are not being written. They all have their own google doc, some of them are even open all the time, and they just hang out there, but maybe one day they'll come to me.
I also am such a big fan of completely reworking something, or deleting entire scenes. If something isn't working, I am not afraid to completely shake it up. Writing to me is like a puzzle. Sometimes, the final scene I public will have the beginning and end of scenes switched around from the first draft, or scenes completely cut, or other scenes smashed together, or pushed to new chapters, or in some cases, created into entirely new fics! I have a document that is just deleted scenes, and sometimes I will go in there and find inspiration for something else, or re-work something from there into a scene for a new fic.
send me an ask about fanfic things!
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ok so I guess links still don't work though tumblr says it sent the message... anyways. I read the wiki article on the French petition against the age of consent laws a while ago, and the people named there really threw me for a loop and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. how can these people write so astutely about humanity and society yet think that this is okay? thus the 'separating the art from the artist' question..
from the first ask: […] is [… it] right or productive to separate the art from the artist, which is an age-old question […] maybe it’s quite fitting that Barthes theorised about the death of the author.. I don’t know what to think.
yes, it’s definitely a vexed question. i don’t feel qualified to talk about it with any certainty as of yet, and so will not give too many of my foetal opinions away here. that said, i’ve been asked this question a couple of times before and thought i’d finally take a stab at saying something as neutral as possible in response.
to me, this is linked to the wider question of whether morality and literature can and/ or should go hand in hand (in terms of writers and readers) - whether reading and studying literature makes you a better person (harold bloom for example has spoken out against what he calls the ‘school of resentment’ for bringing their political ethics to bear on literature, whereas on the other hand literature has been written with didactic purpose since, say, hesiod*), whether the metaphorical memorial of a deplorable writer should be vandalised even if what they’ve contributed by general consensus are works of serious merit (i see many posts on tumblr urging us, for instance, to throw the works of wilde and plath into the fire because of their anti-semitism). often writers (and geniuses generally) praised for their services to humanity have left trails of destruction and misery in their wake - shelley and einstein are two famous examples that spring to mind. some have attempted to resolve the issue by pointing out that even the most wretched of characters is capable of writing a work containing that something which transcends everything (the optimistic implication is then that we all carry ‘that something’, that little bit of magic the best literature seems to be concealing and revealing at once, and are capable of giving intimations of it in writing). for others, when faced with the prospect of praising sexists/ racists/ anti-semites/ homophobes/ transphobes/ paedophiles, that view seems unnecessarily idealistic, abstract, and removed. some say we should place actions into context and see whether a writer’s views and/ or actions were mild or extreme for their time. some think we should just, as you hint at, ignore the artist completely (which then opens up questions in the arena of biographical criticism). some think we should not erase these authors from history, but learn a lesson from them for the present and future (thus theoretically leaving the literature out of it and learning from the lives of the authors only, or perhaps resolving only to praise the more morally pristine in the present day). getting deeper and more complex, it’s as vital as ever to continue evaluating how beauty, truth, and goodness relate within literature, and then the relation of literature to life.
i had a pretty similar reaction to yours when i read allen ginsberg’s wiki page for the first time (needless to say, a message to my followers - do not read it if you find paedophilia triggering), and it’s not something excessive intellectualising on the subject has worn away, that’s for sure. it’s a situation that i think requires heart as well as head (though both i think are needed, and i stress this too). that said, do i think we’d be losing something if we condemned every influential writer who’s done terrible things and expelled them from our reading lists? yes, i do. it would also, i am sad to say, be a great many of them.**
i hope this goes some distance in the way of help - it really is a huge debate (though debate sounds perhaps too cold a word). but i hope this indicates that there are degrees and shades to the issue, and that whilst you can be sensitive to the suffering that famous writers of history have either caused or condoned, it doesn’t necessarily mean that literature must always carry some taint for you, or that you have to give up on literature forever in order to preserve your moral integrity.
~
*bloom, however, praises some heavily didactic authors (dante being an obvious example), and i’m not sure the contrast i’ve drawn is properly sensitive to the differences between ethical-politically reading a text and ethical-politically writing it, or the difference between what is generally labelled as ‘didacticism’ and the ethical politics of the ‘school of resentment’ (i use bloom’s term for ease and clarification only, not wishing for it to carry his disparaging tinge here in the interests of neutrality). to me the latter is a very modern phenomenon, though recent theorisations have argued that we are paradoxically returning to tribalism in a sort of horseshoe, rightly or wrongly. of course ‘ethics’ here is also unquestioningly tied up with politics, and that relationship is another can of worms. but i digress, and won’t get into all that stuff here properly - just trying to clear a few things up (… lol) and don’t want to give the wrong impression.
** that doesn’t mean there aren’t degrees of ‘terrible’ - ginsberg’s involvement with NAMBLA and the one sexist joke in george herbert’s entire poetic oeuvre are obviously not comparable.
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Sometimes you just indulge and draw something you haven't drawn since middle school
She is for an old book I was writing as a kid. I still have it in all of its frayed cringy glory. I decided to re work the story.
A bit of rambling on the story down
This is the main character, kiranin. She used to be one of the big leaders of death reapers. Until a big conflict in heaven occured so she kidnapped a poor death spawn and fled to earth to up her duties and the balance in her area.
Basically a retooling of grim reaper stories, a mix of bleach and soul eater. But no school involved. It's an interesting concept on the nature of Life and how sin is viewed. Basically sin has no fundamental effect on death. But what if the entities we thank our life and death to have their own agendas and wavering moralities.
I wanna draw them all in some new designs. Kiranin didn't have those chains back in the day, and while they are hard to draw, I feel they are a good symbol for what the reapers are. They were made in our image and are chained to us.
They are also colorless entities (literally monochrome) with faint concepts of identity. Some find their own personalities to become, usually influenced by the cultures they work in (like there are ninja reapers and stuff). Others simply care about power or duty, and have been around too long to care about personality.
Think nobodies from kingdom hearts but with a few caviats.
They die-ish. If they become "saturated" (basically too full of the energies they control) then they become Spyryts. Other reapers have the duty of getting rid of Spyryts as they are responsible for mass tragedy or miracles. They are also linked to human souls as well and make imbalance. (Meaning they can come from lingering souls) Their influence can be measured by their size and level of area distortion (some cause literal glitches in the matrix and can be the size of the sky). They are very rarely allowed to wreak havoc but it does happen.
In this world god isn't a being. Rather human origin is undetermined (for now...) And as life emerges, so do those that reap the dead. Same for those that sow light (or life reapers). That being said, reapers don't age like we do, and grow slower than a human. So a day can seem like a second if they remain in heaven. On earth they feel a slightly faster form of our time.
When we die, we aren't dead and gone until a reaper come and cuts your ties to the world. Life is similar. Souls manifest in space randomly but doesn't become active until they become part of a being nearby, usually a newborn creature. Life reapers and death reapers somewhat compete on the nature of lingering souls and that's how miraculous survival or random death can occur. If not caught quick enough, the soul will become chained and unraveled into a spyryt.
Each reaper controls energies. Those energies can be controlled for combat and utility. They can be used to control movement and speed. They can also manifest weapons. Some like kiranin have a masterful control of energies to the point of even purposefully manifesting a spyryt form temporarily. She can also control shadows into any form she so commands while most are limited in the complexity and forms the darkness they shape. Kiranin prefers sythes and giant fists but can basically use her energy as another set of limbs. They are limited in range as shadows are something similar to fibers or cords. They are usually linked to the user. Think knives connected to string. Dark energies are better for movement and melee, but if used masterfully, it can be used in the brightest of light.
Light reapers are similar but have to work to not be overpowered by their energy as it is more physical and in the open. Theirs is more of a "solid" so to speak. It can be crystalized into very powerful weapons and also protection. It can be strong enough to influence the reality around them and cause physical effects on surroundings (random gashes and quakes for example). Some light reapers are so powerful they can also manifest a Spyryt form (though can easily lose control because of the abundance of light). It can be very power for an ability that has more to do with the weapon than the body. While most life reapers prefer ranged strategies, some prefer honing their light into more powerful and direct blades. Light energies when powerfully used can emit light and can also be used in total darkness.
Every reaper can easily store their energies to a point. They are linked to their own "life force" and it's necessary to keep proper control of how much they're in contact with (some even keep their energies in measured units. Like Alex the light reaper who keeps track of his in 'feet' for some reason). Too much and they get saturated, too little and they will either lose control of themselves or dwindle into dust. Their strength will also be affected. The younger they are, the more important this is as older reapers can keep track of it intuitively. (In the case of kiranin who is old as fuck, she basically can automatically adjust her amount as she sees fit) most need to "perform duties" to keep it balanced...( Ie. They do what reapers do. Keep the balance of life and death around them by killing those with dwindling auras, gathering souls for the purpose of controlling their own distribution, use, and saturation, and combatting either each other or Spyryts. A reapers life is never dull)
So what would they need to do in order to make sure the world doesn't end when light loses its grip on the energies of fate, and predermination is only a reaper art of the past? That's what my story is about. In a story of beings that bank our souls as currency, maintain balance between reality altering superbeings and mortals, and where mediums and psychics may be telling the truth, what will these old spirits of life and death do when a new kind of being rips the balancing abilities of heabana(heaven) away? What will the reapers learn about their own origins and language? And can a few renegade reapers keep the scales from tipping into Armageddon?
Let me know I guess if this sounds like a good idea for me to finish. This keeps coming back to mind in all honesty this story never leaves me
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