Bellamy/Clarke + The Night We Met by Lord Huron

what’s your opinion on “lebanon”? as it actually is in the show and how fans/fic writers interpret/approach it.

cause i’ve been binge-reading “lebanon” fics and i’ve noticed two patterns: sam might argue with john or he stays calm but regardless he preaches to dean about what a terrible father john was, and dean always falls back into his performing and just keeps defending john. now i love all that angst, really i love it so much, these fics are phenomenally written… but i’m just wondering if i’m crazy to think that dean wouldn’t actually fall back into that role to such an extent, and whether the episode actually kinda got it right by having dean feel secure with his family as it is. iirc my issue with the episode is that neither dean nor sam got to express any issues with john in an honest but civil way (and that john is too nice) but that still i liked dean’s expression of security, but tbh it’s been awhile since i last watched it so maybe i’m missing/misremembering smth… thanks!

One of the strangest things I see in fandom is how many people's sense of how Sam views John versus how Dean views John is just flat out wrong. The idea that Dean is always defending John while Sam is always criticizing him the whole show is negated over and over and over in the actual show itself—extremely overtly.

There's two issues here in my mind that lend to this fandom problem.

The fandom accepting Sam and Dean's "John Narratives" at face value in the early episodes of season 1. For example, watching 1.08 "Bugs", where Dean claims to have no resentments toward John and says Sam also was a dick during Sam and John's fight, and going, "Well there we go. Dean has no resentments and refuses to criticize John but Sam will." At this point, we already know from 1.06 "Skin" that Dean does have resentments toward John for not appearing to care about him and for abandoning him, and we get further indications in 1.11, and 1.21 in this season alone. Another example is Sam and Dean's clashes in 1.10 "Asylum" and in 1.11 "Scarecrow", which are largely analyzed by the fandom as moments where Dean is blindly following orders when they have some other, better option Sam is pushing, and Dean is just refusing to go along with Sam's much better ideas because he's too focused on believing their dad knows best... when that is not actually what is happening at all. Sam's alternative plans in the beginning of 1.10 and 1.11 are absolutely stupid. In 1.10, he wants to call the FBI on John to find him. That's his big idea—instead of following the coordinates John just sent them and seeing if he's there. In 1.11, Sam's big bright idea on finding John is to abandon some people to die on a time-sensitive case so he can go search all of Sacramento for John with nothing but an area code. His plans are dumb, plain and simple—and while we do see Dean hiding his own resentments in these episodes too, that does not remain true—which brings me to the other issue here.

Fandom doesn't leave room for the brothers perspectives on John and their outward expressions of those perspectives to shift or mature over the series. This is particularly funny because their perspectives are literally swapping over the course of season 1, and have pretty much fully swapped by 2.02.

Sam's shifting season 1 perspective on John

What actually happens in season 1, is that Sam, who starts out burning with resentment and hurt toward John for disowning him and being a smothering drill sergeant and absent, binge-drinking dad, slowly begins empathizing him because he's now suffered a similar trauma and is having extreme difficulty coping with it himself! Sam's empathy for and understanding of John (and hell—even respect for John handling it as well as Sam thinks he was capable) is already beginning to show in 1.02—where Sam asks Dean "How does Dad do it?" (i.e., deal with the same burning rage and desperation for vengeance that is tearing Sam apart) (gifset). In 1.04, he learns John was bragging about Sam's accomplishments to other people (gifset). In 1.08, when Dean tells Sam that John was never actually disappointed in him—that he was scared Sam would get hurt if he wasn't around (gifset here) a lot of Sam's anger about the Stanford fight fades. He ends the episode saying "Dad did the best he could" (a repeated quote often misattributed as coming more from Dean) and saying he wants to find him to apologize to him for the things he said (gifset). John and Sam share a heartfelt, tearful hug in 1.16—at the end of which Sam begs John not to leave, and in 1.20, John himself apologizes and explains what was going on in his head when they fought, and it ends with them smiling and laughing as they acknowledge they understand each other and they're the same. I track Sam and John's relationship through the tag, #we probably have a lot more in common than just about anyone because Sam says that during that conversation in 1.20 (gifset).

Dean's shifting season 1 perspective on John

At the same time this shift is happening in Sam, we see Dean going the exact opposite direction. He starts out believing John has their best interest at heart even if they don't understand his actions, but the resentment is there too (1.06). In 1.09 and in 1.12, Dean needs help desperately, and John doesn't answer. While Sam is learning that John actually cares about him, Dean is growing more and more concerned that John doesn't care about him (Dean) specifically. We see this resentment start to come out (season 1 compilation set here) in 1.20, when John says he wants to keep the boys safe and that's why he's ditching them, and Dean calls it "A bunch of crap". Dean begins standing up to John to his face from this episode onward—finishing 1.20 with a "Yeah well we saved your ass" in response to John saying they disobeyed him. In 1.21, John tries to get on his case, and Dean lays into him about not answering the phone and specifically about abandoning Dean when Dean needed him in 1.09 and 1.12. In 1.22, Sam tries to get his way by telling Dean that John wouldn't want them to bring The Colt to save him, and Dean yells "I don't care what Dad wants!" and then when Sam starts throwing the blame on him for everything, Dean says,

Well, you and Dad are a lot more alike than I thought, you know that? You both can’t wait to sacrifice yourself for this thing. But you know what? I’m gonna be the one to bury you. You’re selfish, you know that? You don’t care about anything but revenge.

Dean has compared Sam and John more than once during the series, and it has never ever been a compliment.

Sam and Dean in the rest of the series

Sam and Dean's interactions about John in rest of the series are... almost universally the opposite of what the fanfics you've picked up suggest. Their interactions almost always show Dean criticizing John and Sam keeping silent or defending him, or reiterating that John did what he had to/the best he could.

Gifset on Dean's whole season 2 "Fuck John Winchester" vibe here.

In 2.01, Dean shouts at John for (it appears) abandoning him to die:

DEAN Come on, Dad. You've gotta help me. I've gotta get better, I've gotta get back in there. I mean, you haven't called a soul for help. You haven't even tried. Aren't you going to do anything? Aren't you even going to say anything? I've done everything you have ever asked me. Everything. I have given everything I've ever had. And you're just going to sit there and you're going to watch me die? I mean, what the hell kind of father are you?

Sam and John have a horrible fight where John blames him for Dean's condition and Sam tells him to go to Hell only for him to make a demon deal and literally go to Hell that same day (gifset) and Sam tries to start another fight right before John dies but John refuses to engage (gifset). The result ends up being that Sam and Dean have fully swapped places on John by 2.02 with John's death as the catalyst. John's death leaves Sam with regrets that their last interaction was Sam trying to start a fight (2.02). He decides he wants to hunt in John's memory (2.02) (gifset1, gifset2) while a part of Dean desperately wants to quit the life altogether—he's clawing the walls but feels helplessly trapped (2.09, 2.10, 2.20).

Sam defends John while Dean suggests John lead them down the wrong path with a dogmatic rule book (2.03). He demands they go to Lawrence so he can place John's dog tags over Mary's grave (2.04). He spends the season regurgitating John's orders, pushing Dean to do what John told him to do (2.11, 2.14, 2.20) while Dean wants to quit the life (2.09, 2.10, 2.20) and burns with anger toward John. In 2.10, Dean says "I wish to god he'd never opened his mouth!" about John.

In 2.11 "Playthings":

SAM (shoving DEAN to face him) Dean! Dad told you to do it, you have to. DEAN Yeah, well, Dad's an ass! (SAM frowns in confusion) He never should have said anything! I mean, you don't do that, you don't, you don't lay that kind of crap on your kids! SAM No. He was right to say it! Who knows what I might become? Even now, everyone around me dies!

We see Dean seething with resentment while Sam defends John's orders and tries to enforce them on Dean, carrying the legacy of their father in more ways than one.

Over and over, we get indications that a part of John treated Dean as disposable while he sheltered Sam, and that Dean is increasingly aware of the impact that's difference has had on him—to the point he realizes his father's neglect and abuse is the reason he isn't fighting to save himself in 3.10 "Dream A Little Dream Of Me". Dean and John's relationship is intentionally paralleled with a physically abusive relationship between a father and son in this same episode (gifset, meta), and in this episode, Dean rejects his father as an "obsessed bastard", calls Bobby his father (gifset), and decides from this point forward, he's going to fight to save himself from his demon deal because fuck John Winchester.

DREAM DEAN Dad knew who you really were. A good soldier and nothing else. Daddy's blunt little instrument. Your own father didn't care whether you lived or died. Why should you? DEAN Son of a bitch! My father was an obsessed bastard! All that crap he dumped on me, about protecting Sam! That was his crap! He's the one who couldn't protect his family! He– who wasn't there for Sam! I always was! He wasn't fair! I didn't deserve what he put on me! And I don't deserve to go to Hell!

And yeah! Dean also still loves John! And more than that—he craves John's protection. We see this in 3.14 "Long Distance Call" when the Crocotta calls to Dean as John from beyond the grave, telling Dean exactly what Dean wants to hear: "I never wanted this. Never. You're my boy, I love you. I can't watch you to go to hell, Dean," and telling Dean he can save him. This is pure longing for the love and protection Dean has always desired from John but feels like he's never received. Instead, he's always felt disposable.

In season 4? Oh boy... we get this incredible bit in 4.10 between Dean and Anna:

ANNA I was stationed on earth 2,000 years. Just... watching... silent... invisible... out on the road... sick for home... waiting on orders from an unknowable father I can't begin to understand. So don't tell me that -- DEAN laughs. ANNA What is so funny? What? DEAN Nothing. Sorry. It's just...I can relate.

Then in after meeting Adam in 4.19, Sam and Dean have a fight about whether to bring Adam hunting with them or leave him to a normal life:

DEAN 'Hunting is life. You can't have connections.' Dad gave you that exact same speech, remember? It was just before you ditched us for Stanford. You hated Dad for saying that stuff, and now you're quoting him? SAM Yeah, well, turns out Dad was right. DEAN Since when? SAM Since always. Dean, when I look at Adam, you know what I see? DEAN A normal kid. SAM No. Meat. Because the demons and monsters out there, that's all he is. I hated Dad for a long time. I did. But now I think I understand. So we didn't have a dog and a white picket fence. So what? Dad did right by us. He taught us how to protect ourselves. Adam deserves the same. DEAN Listen to yourself, man. SAM You think I’m wrong? DEAN I think it's too late for us. This is our life. This is who we are, okay? And it's fine. I accept that. But with Adam, he's still got a chance, man. He can go to school. He could be a doctor.

Sam says John did right by them. Dean thinks he absolutely didn't, but they can't change who they are now—they can only keep others from falling down the same path.

At the end of the episode? Oh boy...

DEAN You know, I finally get why you and Dad butted heads so much. You two were practically the same person. SAM looks over. DEAN I mean, I worshipped the guy, you know? I dressed like him, I acted like him, I listen to the same music. But you were more like him than I will ever be. And I see that now. SAM I'll take that as a compliment. DEAN You take it any way you want.

It is NOT a compliment.

In 5.16, Dean is confronted with god's intentional absence, and burning with resentment, says to Joshua,

Forget it. Just another dead-beat dad with a bunch of excuses, right. I’m used to that. I’ll muddle through.

In 5.13, Sam takes the opportunity presented to him by young John's presence to defend their father and tell John that he forgives him (gifset).

JOHN Look, how long have you known about this...hunting stuff? SAM Pretty much forever. My dad raised me in it. JOHN You're serious? Who the hell does that to a kid? SAM Well, I mean, for the record, Mary's parents did. JOHN I don't care. You know, what kind of irresponsible bastard lets a child anywhere near—Y-you know, you could've been killed! SAM I, uh...came kind of close. SAM laughs. JOHN The number it must've done on your head...Your father was supposed to protect you. SAM He was trying. He died trying. Believe me. SAM sits down on the bench under a window. SAM I used to be mad at him. I—I mean, I used to... I used to hate the guy. But now I—I... I get it. He was...just doing the best he could. And he was trying to keep it together in—in—in this impossible situation. See... My mom, um... She was amazing, beautiful, and she was the love of his life. And she got killed. And...I think he would have gone crazy if he didn't do something. Truth is, um, my dad died before I got to tell him that I understand why he did what he did. And I forgive him for what it did to us. I do. And I just—I love him.

What Lebanon does is present Sam with the opportunity to reiterate his forgiveness toward a John who understands the context:

SAM Dad… for me? That fight… that was a lifetime ago. I don’t even remember what I said, and – I mean… yeah. You know what? You did some messed-up things. But I don’t… I mean, when I think about you… [voice breaks] and I think about you a lot… I don’t think about our – our fights. I think about you… I think about you on the floor of that hospital. And I think about how I never got to say goodbye. JOHN Sam. Son. I am so sorry. SAM I’m sorry, too. But you did your best, dad. You – you fought for us, and you loved us, and… that’s enough.

So yeah! The fanfic narrative here where Sam is Mr. "Dad was bad" and Dean is Mr. "Nooo dad did the best he could" IS ABSOLUTE NONSENSE!!!!!

Hi everyone!

Welcome to the third ever ELRIEL MONTH, where we hope to foster a positive space for Elain and Azriel shippers. We will have two prompts per week that centers on different aspects and scenarios of their potential relationship.

Follow us on:

Tumblr ✷ Twitter ✷ Instagram ✷ TikTok

Rules and bi-weekly prompts under the break!

RULES:

✷ Participation of each day/prompt is optional!

✷ Ideally, post your art/work on the week of the prompt. However, if you cannot post on time, post whenever you can.

✷ Elriel month will be across Tumblr, Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok.

✷ If you want to be featured on this blog please tag @elriel-month in your posts so we can reblog them

✷ On Tumblr while posting your piece of work please use the following hashtags:  #elrielmonth, #elrielmonth23

✷ No hate or slander towards other characters!

✷ Your submission can be a fanart, oneshot, edits, gifset, moodboard, playlist - anything you deem acceptable.

✷ The final prompt is free choice - you can indulge your own prompt or elriel fantasy!

✷ Be respectful of other people’s work. Do not repost without permission and credit.

Shy Glances & Restricted Touches

April 30, 2023

They’d exchanged looks, the occasional brush of fingers, but never this. Never blatant, unrestricted touching.

We kick off Elriel Month with forbidden romance. It’s been eluded that Elain and Azriel have had some significant yet private moments, perhaps some secret encounters, clandestine meetings? We know they’re both well equipped at keeping secrets, what have they been up to?

Language of Love

May 3, 2023

Azriel smiled faintly. "Would you like me to show you the garden?" ...But Elain did not balk from him, did not shy away as she nodded—just once. Azriel graceful as any courtier offered her an arm. I couldn't tell if she was looking at his blue siphon or at his scarred skin as she breathed, "Beautiful."

What do you think Elain and Azriel’s love languages are? Gift giving? Quality time? Physical touch? Acts of service? The next few days and the best opportunity to explore these ideas with your headcanons, art, examples from canon, or theories!

Happy Solstice

May 7, 2023

Elain turned from the snow falling in the darkness beyond and smiled slightly. “I’ve never participated in one of these.”

Iconic Solstice moments and Elriel are synonymous. From dishes of potatoes and joyous laughter, to interrupted romantic moments, these two have had more than a few epic solstice moments.

Peace & Quiet

May 10, 2023

“And I think Elain—Elain would like it, too. Though she’d probably cling to Azriel, just to have some peace and quiet.” I smiled at the thought—at how handsome they would be together.

These two are the perfect embodiment of domestic bliss! From lounging quietly in the garden together to baking up a storm in the kitchen. What do you think these two would get up to if allowed to do so? Perhaps they’d make the Townhouse their own. Or whip up new recipes together.

Darkness Lets the Light Shine

May 14, 2023

I saw the painting in my mind: the lovely fawn, blooming spring vibrant behind her. Standing before Death, shadows and terrors lurking over his shoulder. Light and dark, the space between their bodies a blend of the two. The only bridge of connection… that knife.

The next few days we explore Elain and Azriel’s light & dark aesthetics! The Shadowsinger & the Seer. Azriel’s shadows and Elain’s light. But who’s to say they don’t embody both? Elain has shown a little darkness and Azriel taught Rhys to hope… Share your art, edits, mood boards, and fics!

Words Unspoken

May 17, 2023

He didn’t need the shadows to read her tone. The slight tightening of her face.

Sarah has shown us numerous times how our Seer and Shadowsinger are able to communicate without saying a word. Both being observant as they are, they are able to read one another easily and wordlessly.

A Bridge Between Souls

May 21, 2023

What if the Cauldron was wrong?

Let’s explore the idea of bonds between Elain and Azriel. Do you think they’re true mates? Soul mates? Carranam? Or simply the threads of fate have woven to join them together for some other higher meaning? Share your theories, writing, and art today!

Veil

May 24, 2023

Nothing. Absolutely nothing on that face, on his scent. The shadows, whatever the hell they were, hid too well. Too much.

It’s well known that there is more than meets the eye when it comes to both Azriel and Elain. One hides behind a cold mask, the other under pretty dresses and pleasant smiles. But what fanged beasts may we find beneath those pretty exteriors?

What If?

May 28, 2023

“What if”—I jerked my chin toward the window, to my sister and the shadowsinger in the garden—“that is what she needs”

Free week! Got an artwork or fic you didn’t get to share during the month? A favorite AU you’d like to explore? Or perhaps a crack theory you’ve been waiting to share. The next few days are the chance to go wild with different ideas and explore anything Azriel and Elain!

season two of shadow and bone should have shown absolutely every last fucking person that this show is a soulless piece of trash adaptation that doesn’t understand nor gives two fucks about the source material they're allegedly trying to adapt and that the people behind this show were all lying to your faces when they apologized for the things that upset people for 24 hours before season one streamed two years ago, because after all this show still erases the trauma of a woman’s sexual abuse story and they are still sexualizing bisexual people and they are still fucking everything about these characters and their dynamics up.

season one should have upset most people enough to stop stanning this show but during the last two years we have learned that there’s A Lot that the tv industry can do that people won’t care about. an ableist, colorist and fatphobic and age inaccurate casting that hurts people by taking their representation away is something people won’t care about. complex characters being reduced to an inch of what they actually are like so they and their relationship can neatly fit into archetypes, tropes and ao3 tags is something people won’t care about. showrunners getting exposed for having their white stunt doubles do brownface is something people won’t care about. a show having a dumb script that makes everyone on the show look like a fucking loser is something people won’t care about.

and now season two is out and they did everything they already did in season one wrong but it’s somehow still so much worse. after watching season one i felt like the deeply offensive and wrong things about this show were still explainable, season two actually has me at loss for words because of how bad it is. because of how there’s not a single thing they did right about the soc books; not the characters, not their relationships, not their storyline, nor the world they live in. i could give a few examples like the fact that kaz told inej that feeling as if she’s not really free from the menagerie where she was sex trafficked as a child "isn’t her fight anymore, it’s his“ just because pekka rollins owns her now. or the fact that wylan and jesper met via a one night stand and were fucking by episode four even tho they don’t even kiss before the end of ck. or that they turned pekka rollins into a super villain who wants to kill kaz even though the whole point of his role in the books is that he has no idea why kaz has it out for him and he doesn’t care abt these teenagers.

i could explain all these and so many more examples in depth, and still it wouldn’t be enough to capture the the true scope of how bad and truly horrible this show is. and yet. and yet when i log into tumblr dot com or twitter dot com i see gifsets of this show, of the relationships they don’t understand, of the characters they butchered and i'm seeing people rooting for another season of this nonsense. at this point this show feels like a social experiment that’s trying to see how far people will go to defend a deeply offensive and atrociously bad piece of media. and during the last 48 hours i've come to realize that some of y'all will never be able to be pushed too far. some of y’all had their brains rotted away a long time ago when tiktok and ao3 made you believe that media is nothing more than the consumption of aesthetics, tropes and archetypes and that it’s a good thing if these are responsible for the death of art. if you claim to love the book and the show at the same time you are lying to yourself because that is simply impossible. you have, in short, truly lost the fucking plot.

Problematic Players and You

(PT: Problematic Players and You)

Trigger Warning: This post discusses several triggering or otherwise sensitive topics, including, but not limited to, abuse sexual assault, bigotry, and violence. Reader discretion is advised. Additional Disclaimer: This is not a post defending the actions of athletes mentioned *nor* is it an attack on said athletes (or their fans!). This is about dealing with serious events involving players as a whole.

Have you ever woke up one day and found out that your favorite race car driver said some not-so savory things? Have you ever checked the news one day and found out a hockey player you love was accused of rape? Are you a new sports fan who did research on an athlete you like only to find out they're a straight up creep? And have you ever asked yourself: “Where the hell do I go from here?” when it comes to merch you’ve already bought or the amount of gifsets you’ve made for them? Well, you’ve come to the right post! Because let’s face it, we’ve (probably) all been there, done that and got the t-shirt (Err, jersey). 

First off, what defines a problematic player?

Well... there's not really a set definition. Everyone has a different idea of what's 'problematic' and what isn't. However, there are some deeds that athletes do that are... kind of ick, so any of the following could make them be considered very problematic:

-Bigotry (ex. Racism, homophobia). -Cheating (as in cheating on your spouses. Not cheating as in using PEDs even though that too is also kinda trashy). -Abuse, sexual assault, etc. -Questionable/not so great political opinions.

And then there’s athletes who’ve been involved in so many off-ice controversies and allegations that it’s reached a point where regardless of how many are true or not, and no matter how much new information is revealed, they won’t be well liked by fans (Patrick Kane, anyone?). Okay, but why do athletes do this crap in the first place?

Well... there's a couple theories on why some do these things.

Sometimes mental and environmental factors can influence an athlete’s decision making. Say, if an athlete was abused by a coach when they were young, that might factor into any actions, good or bad, a player makes in the future. In cases of bigoted opinions, athletes are raised to have such opinions.

Age can also play a factor into a player’s actions. The younger they are, the more likely they’re going to do stupid shit (Or so I've noticed, please correct me if I'm wrong lmfao). Again. The theories are limitless. However most of the time athletes do these things because... they chose to do that. And a part of that is being because sports culture. Yeah. Sports culture sucks. Who would've known?

So do problematic athletes... stay problematic forever?

Well, yes and no.

As much as our first instinct is to “cancel” said athletes and pressure them to take accountability, we should also give them a chance to grow when they do take accountability instead of pushing the issue further.

However, that also depends on if they chose to grow. Hell, it depends if they even admit to making a mistake or admitting to guilt at all (which is, unfortunately, very impressive in a society like this). If they don’t.. Well, that’s their choice. Best we can do as fans beyond that point is just spread awareness. Remember: 99% of the time celebs won't listen to their fans. Some will. But do not expect your favorite to do the right thing. You will be disappointed. Another thing to keep in mind is that even if changes to character are made, people (us included) will still probably continue to view them differently for a while. As much as we’d like to put the past behind us, that just isn’t easy. (And besides, in the long term this is probably a good thing, since as fans it’s not our place to forgive; that’s up to the people affected). Actually while we’re at it..

Help! What should I do when an athlete (including my favorite) gets into controversy?

It’s always stressful (and sad) when an athlete you’ve admired and looked up to is eventually outed as a terrible person. It’s even more stressful when you’re a newer fan to sports and you just find out about said problematic deeds.

Well, first thing's first: process your emotions, and feelings. And once you're done crying, screaming, whatever action you're doing to process your feelings, spread awareness if you feel comfortable enough doing so. When spreading awareness though: DO RESEARCH AND ONLY SHARE RELIABLE SOURCES. Unfortunately serious allegations almost always have misinformation popping out. Hell, sometimes "allegations" may just be someone causing trouble on the internet (Corey Perry situation, anyone?). If the source is from a random Twitter user (that doesn't work in journalism), or the source is from a site like Deadspin and/or TMZ or any other site that has a history of clickbait, odds are, it's best to take it with a grain of salt. Team fansites (like RMNB, a Caps site) are also not always reliable, so take caution when reading through them as well.

It's better to stick with actually known sources like ESPN, Bleacher Report or a journalist like Elliotte Friedman. Rick Westhead and Katie Strang are really good journalists when it comes to issues relating to hockey. Additionally, do not expect to know *all* the information. Do not demand all information to come out. Sometimes not everything can be shared for legal reasons. Be patient and wait for everything to come out. And even then, don't expect it to be everything that happened (because again, legal reasons). Also, don't expect other people to talk about the incident in question! Do not guilt others into discussing it, do not force others to post about it. Focus on what you can do before focusing on what others can do! After most information (if not all of it), it's up to you to come to your own conclusions. Lastly, regardless of what your decision is, whether you decide to stop supporting them or you choose to believe they did nothing wrong (for any reason), but you're stuck on what to do anyway... Well... and this is probably anticlimactic I know, what to do is... up to you!

Internet wise, your internet space is your space! Your Tumblr blog is your blog! If you wanna stop posting about that player and also delete every single mention of said player outside of spreading awareness? Great! That’s your choice! Wanna keep said posts up but tag them and/or add a disclaimer! Also great! Wanna keep posting them or writing fics about them? Completely fine! Just tag it accordingly and keep in mind why these folks may not like said players. And *please* continue to be critical of said players when they do something wrong. Your favorite is not immune to criticism.

(In other words, yes Hawks fans, you’re allowed to post your Kane gifs and 1988 fics. Just tag it accordingly. And just know that people *will* probably judge you for it).

One thing you should not do however: DO NOT CENSOR NAMES. This fucks with filters and screenreaders (More in-depth post on this here!).

And because apparently this still needs to be said, don’t wish injury or death on the players and for the love of Wayne Gretzky don’t fucking send harassment to their families (seriously why do people do this fucking garbage holy fuck).

Secondly, don’t buy their jerseys or other merchandise from official sites! They will profit off that. If you've already brought it, don't just throw it out. Instead, leave it in storage, sell it or, if you're good at tailoring, try making something new out of it! Additionally (especially in cases of rape, violence, etc), SUPPORT THE VICTIMS INVOLVED. They need it the most.

What about the folks that continue to support said athletes?

If someone continues to post an athlete that’s done not great things, it’s tempting to educate them and tell them (which, if you’re going to do so, please tell them gently and not yell at them, especially if they’re a newer or younger fan who has zero clue what’s going on) But if they already know (which odds are they probably do unless they’re a newer fan), and/or they refuse to stop posting about them after being told, the best plan of action is to just… leave them alone. Just leave them be. Do not bother them further. Do not harass them. Do not send them threats. And for goodness gracious don’t make a callout post or blocklist of every single supporter of said athlete.

(Seriously attempting to make a long blocklist never ends well, especially since half the time the users on said blocklist turn out to be literal children).

That said though, if your friends/mutuals are actively defending bigoted comments and/or making statements that borderline towards abuse apologism, it’s not a bad idea to hold them accountable in a private setting. Yes I said private setting because most drama can be avoided with a private DM. But other than that... someone still writes 1988 fic? Leave them be! Someone still makes gifsets of Alex Ovechkin? Leave them be! Hell, someone still talks about the Staals? Just leave them be! The best course of action is to… just use the block button and/or filter posts accordingly. That’s literally it lmfao.

But why do people continue to support these athletes anyway?

Well it all comes down to the following: A. They have trouble grappling with the fact that they are, in fact, problematic. B. They’re Neurodivergent (especially autistic or individuals with ADHD), or struggling IRL, and kinda rely on those people to function or get through the day. 

C. Detaching yourself from a problematic figure is… really easier said than done. It is not easy at all lmfao. D. They're refuse to listen to info. E. They genuinely have no clue what's going on. Either way. Don't judge too harshly. Not everyone can just stop supporting a person/media and guess what? It's not as easy as 99% of Tumblr dot com thinks. Not everyone can just stop enjoying/liking something. And guess what? That's actually O-KAY. Last thing to know.

Lastly, you, yourself, *could* probably be supporting a problematic player right now! And you would never know until much later! At the end of the day, 99% of athletes have done problematic things one way or another. And honestly, if we tried to get rid of every problematic person... there probably wouldn't be any people left on Earth at all. Yeah, some actions are more shittier than ever, but trying to make everything "unproblematic"... is never going to work no matter how you look at it, and that is OKAY.

Remember the most important rule (stolen from someone on discord with the second edited by me!):

Now get out there and cheer for whatever player you'd like.

(Special thanks to @hard4softthings @saucerfulofsins @tapejob @youneedtolookatthis @restingbuchface @bedardconnor and a bunch of other folks for providing most of the advice/info/tips for this post!)

oh man, haven't done tag games in a while, sorry friends 🥹 i've been passive the last few weeks because uni is really taking most of my time and energy, but i appreciate the tags and i love love reading your answers<3

ok enough blabbering, thank u @callivich, @lingy910y, and @mickeysgaymom for the totally optional, fun gallavich questions tag!

What’s a fic you’ve read more than once?

Stuck at Three for Days - delicious banter, laughed my ass off

another kiss is all it takes - so fuckin sweet, dude

Like Real People Do - just finished my reread last month:)) i needed the comfort

Cooperative Gameplay - currently rereading! i miss the feels

Sometimes I reread bits and pieces from ORFNSP and since we're alone because they changed my brain chemistry. I will eventually get around to actually rereading them.

2. What’s a gifset you always have to reblog?

You know the one... this legendary world heritage gifset

3. What’s a headcanon you can’t stop thinking about?

not sure if this is counted but i always like to think that once, ian got struck with grief about monica's death on her death anniversary. mickey asks him what's wrong and he opens up about it. ian will say it's stupid but mickey will truly handle it with grace and say nah man it's not. because yahknow, he gets it. and ian melts at it, because no one has acknowledged his grief like this before. mickey teases him about it a bit, sure, but deep down he held ian's mourning warmly, like petals on his palm. and they went together to the cemetery that day, simply sat in front of her grave and talked. the good things, the bad. and that despite it all "hey, tleast she popped out an alien lookin mfer i ended up marryin." they get pizza after.

4. What’s a fanart you love looking at?

Van kiss by @lingy910y

Prince Mononoke by @darthvaders-wife

Prison Boyfriends by @gallavichonly

Part of Our World by @steorie

It's Okay by WhatsaMattavich

This Kiss by @deathclassic

SO MANY others actually if i could fit them all here

5. What’s an idea you’d love to create if you had the time/inspiration?

i actually have a LIST lmao. one of those has something to do with art because i cannot take my mind away from human mickey and manananggal ian (manananggal is a Philippine myth creature with wings and can separate the upper half of its body from its lower half).

6. What’s something you’ve discovered since entering this fandom? A new trope you love? A different analysis of the show? Something else?

oh man. believe it or not, i was never into fics. i was in fandoms before, but i just couldn't get into fics within those fandoms (i tried). this is the only time i truly liked and LOVED reading fics. it really speaks volumes about the talent and dedication, and i'm glad i got to experience it.

it's also fun reading metas on the show and getting different perspectives, especially on characters. one of my favorites (just because i was so distressed about it the first time i watched it) are analyses on the city hall scene and ian's hesitation on marriage. after reading up others' thoughts on it explaining the why's, i totally felt some relief and was able to get some sleep. lol

7. What’s an underrated trope or concept you’d like to see more of?

apocalypse aus 👍

8. What’s your favourite season? And has this changed after multiple rewatches of the show?

The first five seasons are gems to me. but i truly love season 2 because it's so chill (at least compared to some of the heavier seasons after) and the gallaghers move as a unit. special mention for season 4 because it holds Emily and Lazarus.

9. What’s a plot hole you wish had been answered or resolved?

same qualms with @mickeysgaymom about mickey's mom. brain rotting over it.

10. What scene or moment do you feel isn’t discussed enough?

not gallavich related, and i'm sure people have already mentioned it, but sometimes it hits me how smart debbie is. like, i know she's smart, but people easily forget from all the chaos. at the heart of it, she's a fast learner and also would and have excelled academically.

11. What line/dialogue/description from something else (a poem, a book, a tv show, a movie, or something else) do you feel describes Ian and Mickey’s relationship?

aaaa @lingy910y beat me to it! it's totally "I'll take care of you. / It's rotten work. / Not to me. Not if it's you." but if i could pick another, maybe "I could recognize him by touch alone, by smell; I would know him blind, by the way his breaths came and his feet struck the earth. I would know him in death, at the end of the world."

12. What do you think is next for Ian and Mickey post-finale?

they'll grow old together and be just as in love, no matter what happens in between.

tagging @mybrainismelted, @scurvgirl, and @lupeloto if u wanna join!! raahh

arrrghhh and having a moment just now b/c earlier i was rewatching this clip and appreciating how ofc not only is it a stellar little expression saga of jeremy's there but it's so Relevant to how we're being shown like [yeah clearly this is a bad idea but we are led to understand why he'd do it anyways] when like yeah jeremy's hurt & miserable as this new computer enemy immediately beating him up insulting him like you're the worst die Admit You're The Worst & Die. but also like jeremy was already There & already getting that message from others / life, which is why he's in this situation already, and why even though this obvious antagonism & hurtful treatment Does dig that hole a little deeper it's like, still more of the same from jeremy's perspective / a supposed further confirmation of what he was already sufficiently believing was true anyways. but what's so different & new to him is this like invented & temporary Vision Of How Things Could Be where suddenly he's getting attention that is so positive & everyone is sooo hyped about him we love everything about you....and That's what's so much more motivating to jeremy than the previous shit that he of course experienced as Unpleasant

and then just now was looking at this gifset again with christine being surprised by how as she's increasingly exiting the defensive mode of trying to stay out of the way / rein herself in, jeremy's just interested and encouraging and giving Thee clearest most positive feedback as earnestly and spontaneously as she's being rn....the way that she's having a parallel experience to jeremy's Mall Visions Of Possibility like here's this random person suddenly who is responding so positively to whatever tends to be reacted to negatively as [weird/wrong/overmuch]....their earnest spontaneous little parallel threads that keep weaving together throughout the story like. christine and this ever surprising new person who first crops up super nervous but then really openly enthused about Her enthusiasm; freaking out at a mall food court; doing great at play rehearsal even though he's new to this; then a whole moment where at first he's maybe being confusingly standoffish compared to that enthusiasm at their first meeting but then the whole [i guess a part of me xyz] section of a guy that i'd kinda be into like waaaaauugh oh lord and now i'm thinking of the agtikbi reprise like i am sweeping the bmc obcr up into my arms for so many reasons & including that track is a hell of one....being presumably a bit further bemused by jeremy's whole deal but during this period where christine's presumably a bit preoccupied w/the play and with trying to try new things and dating jake, there goes jeremy suddenly dating brooke apparently & eventually evidently christine is like okay i guess he's in this popular kids group more cohesively than i am & [whatever interpretations in how christine thinks that jeremy is also hooking up far & wide w/ppl in that group lol] but here he is also feeling in over his head & overwhelmed & out of place after trying to play the part & Act Correctly & indeed managing to end up here & yet....And Yet they can have another earnest vulnerable spontenaous enthused encouraging moment on the couch, despite that then of course christine's like okay look in general What is going on around here, and that's even before anyone's burned down a house & so forth, all before we he she they get Proof of what jeremy wants & feels & chooses, and have that reunion finally with finale jeremy where it's like, yeah he's got more confidence in Himself, ofc he still likes her and her as herself, and he's still nervous but okay with that, she's more comfortable likewise being out of her comfort zone lol not trying to maximally stay either in the one arena she can be herself Or otherwise out of everyone's way, ugh their vimh moment like that willingness to be vulnerable with this person b/c as in any interactions you're not guaranteed "safe" but the stakes of that and effort of navigating are made lower by having this trust and understanding and knowing this person genuinely cares....the fact that they can misunderstand each other And That's Fine because they can and do just go "no, i mean xyz" which in turn isn't to chastise but an earnest effort to connect & let this other person understand & know you better & believing that They want to exert the effort to Try To Get It, to Genuinely Care....waah

tl;dr that the way jeremy is (theoretically) looked at in the mall while simply existing when everything is going to be wonderful and so alive & is so moved by is the way christine experiences jeremy looking at her For Real when they're first properly meeting in the i love play rehearsal scene, and furthermore: ;ww;

a 2024 update

i keep circling back to the idea of deleting my tumblr. i’m not as active as I once was, my schedule changed (and workload intensified) in the time i began this blog to where i am now. the AI is really freaking me out but that’s not just a tumblr problem, (it’s everywhere 😱) so much less of a factor in my contemplation because i know i can't avoid it.

i’m also not the same as i was three years ago and euuugh, some of my early stuff makes me cringe so hard i want to delete just to distance myself from it!!! but like, evolution and change are just natural in the process of existing as a human being. in another three years, i’ll be even more different (albeit my pre-frontal cortex will remain fully developed so the changes will potentially be less pronounced). soo what am i gonna do, reset every three years like a robot getting a new computer chip??

this is going to get longer than i expected, so explanation continues under the cut:

nah. i may not be as active as i used to be and my opinions/interests may have shifted/evolved, but still, so many of my friends are here and there’s all this cool art, and gifsets, and what have you.

since this was and remains mainly a fandom blog, i’ll briefly summarize my major attitude shifts regarding fandom:

on the yellowjackets front, a significant decrease in hostility toward one travis martinez. like…okay I still don’t love that ben sent travis out alone hunting with nat after he pointed a gun! at her fucking face! and I still don’t love the portion of fandumb that straight up ignores that travis pointed a gun at natalie’s face, and yes it was kind of frustrating that the male characters in general got so much screen time in a show that’s supposed to be about female characters but like. none of that is travis the character’s fault— actually ykw, that’s one of my problems generally that i noticed, that i want to grow from— i keep letting fandumb (and content burnout) influence my perception of and response to characters/plot lines/ships rather than organically formulating my interpretations separate from that influence. i mean fandumb generally, not just YJ. blah blah blah, anyway, i apologize, travis martinez. you had to eat your baby brother. you sank your teeth into his freshly carved out raw heart. i want to both examine you from a more organic angle going forward and hug you now.

okay, okay, i was gonna break down my notable shifts in opinion by fandom, but going off of the aforementioned pattern that i have, maybe i should...no, no, let's keep going by fandom, i have that problem in *every* fandom, so.

ST! I FINALLY WATCHED IT. holy cannoli, okay, @lucdarling and @foxgirlontherun are buds that i remember telling for sure, but i know for sure i didn't tell all of my ST pals so i'll touch on that. watched it over the holidays with my grandma, who had been trying to get me to watch for some time and i finally caved.

1.) we get more glimpses of the demogorgon in the first season than i ever gave it credit for. myself of...however many years ago was just too damn impatient waiting to see the whole damn monster. we get a claw here, a growl there, a moving shadow, etc. its introduction was actually well done, so. years-ago me, you were WRONG. WRONG, I TELL YOU, WRONG.

2.) eleven does not have pyrokinesis. i knew she was telepathic (to a degree) and telekinetic, but for some reason, in the past i *also* believed she could set things on fire with her mind. i just thought she used that power less because fire is so destructive. well...now i know she doesn't have pyrokinesis at all!

3.) the byers do NOT live in a trailer. this i did actually learn before watching the show, i learned in 2022 when a bud sent me like, a pic of their lego byers house and i was like, oh. neat. that's not a trailer. 🙃 so that i did become aware before watching, but seeing it onscreen reminded me that i knew.

4.) billy has more canon depth than i had given him credit for, previously having just watched scenes for fic-reference out of context. i apologize, billiam (i don't attribute a shred of that depth to the duffballs, but that's a different rant). i think since i entered the fandom side of things long before watching, i got certain portions of fanon and canon confused. also-- much like with travis and some other examples i'm going to get into-- i let too much fandumb influence my response to him + impression of his role in canon.

5.) steve is nowhere nearly as irritating in canon as i thought he was. the things that i find irritating about steve are-- once again, see above examples --not really anything that has to do with the character himself! i'm sorry, steve!

on that note, sorry hairygrove friends!! i love you guys and it's been a gift getting to know each of you over the last few years, but i was pretty damn mean to steve sometimes! i should've been nicer to steve...and maybe bill, for that matter, but i mean, i'd written so much from his POV i think it goes without saying that i've always had affection for the latter, even if i probably should've given him more credit for canon characterization and been less presumptuous.

obviously having seen the show, i have more developed thoughts on ST overall, but i think those are just...the main differentiations between opinions formulated in the early days of this blog versus where i'm at now. friends of mine who watch ST, if you want to talk about it, i'm happy to! but please DM me personally and don't send asks about it. i don't want to answer asks because those get posted on the main blog. on the main blog the algorithm reads what's posted and sends you suggestions accordingly.

certain parts of ST S4VOL2 make me *extremely* uncomfortable. i scroll past gifs, art, edits, etc, of those parts on occasion already since i have so many ST friends and the algorithm suggests related content. and it's fine...but i don't want to give the algorithm more reasons to show me even more things that make me uncomfortable, you know what i mean?

guess that's it for ST.

so let's revisit the scream franchise!

might as well go ahead and get the biggest change out of the way: i no longer hate dewey riley!

good lord, for years i was just the stabbiest damn crab at that character. 🦀🔪 opinion officially evolved, evolved BIG time. i was once so irritated with dewey i straight up celebrated when he got killed off . the glee at his demise pushed the ghostface that killed him right up to the top of my ranking.

BOOOOOOOOO. BOOOOOOOOO ME.

...okay. i. i'm sorry, dewey.

once again, here goes me with this pattern that i need to stop. me raising up my hackles at fandumb and components of the character that are not *the* character. i don't like the hero cop trope. i don't. the copaganda of it all...but. a character's mere status of falling into a category of trope or cliche shouldn't discourage thorough examination of them, their personalities, role in the story, or other traits. that's a very small way to interact with fiction, isn't it? i've since moved on from that knee-jerk dismissal.

i also was also a huge flipping grinch when it came to romance for a long ass time (will touch on this later) and so much of dewey's story is about the romance between him and gale. which is...actually a pretty solid romantic storyline, i realize after multiple earnest re-watches of the franchises. dewey has a solid arc! gale has a solid arc! their romance has a solid arc! should not have complained about this nearly as much as i did. maybe it's because of the chemistry between the performers, but all their banter throughout the movies that i once rolled my eyes at...it...it works! okay, it works, they made it work.

i no longer rejoice that dewey is killed off (albeit the scene itself is still pretty freaking cool). amber definitely *isn't* my ghostfave. she's NOT at the bottom of my list but NOT at the top. actually-- wait, no, that can wait, i'm not done with dewey yet...or am i, do i have anything else to say about dewey?

okay, he's not my favorite character, but. he's a classic and he's lovable and i won't fight it anymore because of petty irritations or my personal issues with a trope that in no way makes up the whole of his character.

since we're on scream, whoa, GHOSTFACE RANKING HAS EVOLVED 11/10!

yes, oh, that is so much different than where it was when i started this blog! also very different after recency bias + initial script + the dewey kill scene undeservedly shot amber to the top of my ranking in early 2022.

i'm not going to detail my ranking in this post. that could easily be its own post with its own thorough dissections of which ghostface takes which slot and why. but i will bring up another scream character whose opinion of mine has greatly changed over time: richie kirsch.

i was so irritated by this guy before. couldn't stand him! and you guessed it, for the wrong reasons! i was put off by a lot of the outpouring of the horny focus on him in fandom. not shaming anybody for their preferences by the way! look, i have my own villain crushes (see beth, who is at the top of my ranking again although we'll save the details for another day). it's just...it was kind of frustrating back then to want to gush about the carpenter sisters and mostly find myself surrounded by risque white male centered content instead. i hope that's understandable. so i got burned out on richie content and dismissed the whole character. i was also VERY put off by radio silence's interpretation of their ghostface duo in 2022 but that's a different conversation and again, not richie the character's fault.

richie is funny! okay, he's funny, yes, the "boner pills" line is still irritating, but now...now when i re-watch 5cream i can appreciate him more and the humor of richie *mostly* lands for me! i also think scream VI made me appreciate richie more, because his family is so underdeveloped and wayne's actor made...choices with that performance. but again, that's something i would get into more if i were to detail the evolution of my ghostface ranking.

i think that's it for the major changes in my scream feelings...what other fandoms...

okay, cobra kai? how have my opinions evolved there?

ykw, that one might be mostly the same. the show got worse. it got so bad. it's so bad now, it just bums me out. the one thing i truly wanted from that show was for tory nichols to get the screentime she deserved and for the show to deliver on her hidden depths alluded to the first three seasons. my wish was granted in sheer monkey paw fashion, because they finally did that and pretty much the rest of the show went to shit, go figure. 💩

um...hmm...SHIPPING.

oh, okay, shipping. yeah, let's talk about that. not fandom specific, just um. okay, at the time i started this blog i was never what the kids call 'antis' in that i have some moral beef with fan content of fictional characters falling in love or doing sex things. no, no, that's pretty silly. BUT what i was, was a huge grinch!!! just the mention of romance made me scrunch my face. wouldn't read/write/engage with any shippy things beyond some extremely particular F/F content.

as someone who prefers F/F because it's what i relate to, i know at some point i was just burned out on everything fandom being so heavily M/M focused and everything canon being so heavily F/M focused. i also have feelings about the way M/F is portrayed in canon media due to misogynistic tropes and storylines. but even where F/F was concerned, i was so picky. picky as a damn porcupine.

i believe a combination of things has finally let me to loosen up when it comes to shipping and romance in general.

1.) limiting my engagement with it, allowing me to recover from the burnout.

2.) getting over personal romantic issues IRL that tainted my engagement in fictional romance.

3.) YELLOWJACKETS. i have many complaints with s2 but nevertheless, YJ has given us so many complex, rich female characters with interesting dynamics. and the exploration of those dynamics is abundant, varied, and so thoughtfully explored in YJ fandom that i am hooked! i feel more invested in expanding my F/F pool and i feel less overrun by the greater amount of M/M and M/F content because these fascinating characters and the earnest effort fandom puts into depicting multilayered relationships between them just...evens the playing field, i guess, if we're gonna make a soccer pun. ⚽️

4.) watching romances + romantic subplots with women behind the camera. turns out, the less misogyny involved, the more genuinely i can enjoy an M/F ship. go figure, huh.

anyway, i'm not such a stab crab about romance anymore. i know i have many fandom friends who *are* interested in shipping and i apologize if i was ever cramping your style or bringing you down when i would express my disgruntlement. i hope you can forgive me, i promise to be less of a grinch now. 💚

🦀🔪 fandom opinions that have not changed:

1.) THE BLACK PHONE. waited a year, paid $30 to watch ethan hawke put plates on the floor for an hour! NO! i want a refund!!! WASTED POTENTIAL. GONNA HOLD THIS GRUDGE FOREVER.

2.) the CAOS finale was absolutely disgusting! it was never a great show, sarah rees brennan who wrote the tie-in novels should've been in charge of the screenplay, imo. the novels did so much, so much better, but i digress...mediocre show or not, that fourth season took bad to a whole new level. 🤢

3.) ALEX SAXON CANNOT ACT. i appreciate nancy drew (2019) presenting to me F/M ships (namely fanson) i could actually get into because of the way the dynamics were written but the nace obsessions baffles me when the acting in MTV scream was oscar-worthy compared to this man's sheer lack of ability to emote.

...unless....unless the editors of the show hated alex saxon and only used edits they knew were bad in the finalized episodes in order to sabotage his career going forward. but i have no proof, it's just a possible conspiracy theory. 🤔

non-fandom relevant blog thoughts:

i love interacting with my friends, building connections, and admiring the creativity people put out into the world in various forms. i want to be more focused on that, online and offline, than negativity. i also don't want my apprehension surrounding AI to prevent me from engaging with the digital world and the wonderful human people i've gotten to know through it.

i want to think about nature more than the things that make me so angry, so beyond my control. i want to share animal facts and pictures of forests and funnily shaped rocks. i want to spend more time making people laugh than spiraling into personal insecurities...i don't think my blog was ever a *particularly* negative place, but oh boy, i could certainly be a crab with TWO knives...

there's plenty to be afraid of and be angry about with the expansion of AI and its grip on the digital world. i guess the whole purpose of this post was just to express 'these are the things that have changed and my priorities have also changed.' with that, i really want to focus more on creative things, fun things, funny things, and share more joy than anything else.

there's only so much time. i want to spend the bulk of it cherishing the connections we make, more than anything else.

Will Shaped the Upside Down

spurred on by @endiness's awesome gifset https://endiness.tumblr.com/post/689459538551816192/

Season 4 honed in a lot on the idea that El "shaped" Vecna and made him become what he is today. She shooed him off to an ultimate dimension where he grew in strength, opened a gateway and allowed him back into their world, and now look where we are.

Of course, Henry has no one to blame but himself. It's not El's fault he's a murderous weirdo. But I digress. This brings me to an interesting topic of discussion. The "shape" of the Upside Down.

As we saw, the Upside Down was a yellowish plain completely alien to our world. Floating structures, evil clouds of doom, hungry flowers shaped like men, quite a sight to see. But for some reason in the present, the Upside Down is now shaped like Hawkins and it is blue.

I'm pointing out colors here because I think it's important. In this thread, you will see that they have actually updated the graphics for the Upside Down. In part 1, it was red. In part 2, it's been updated to yellow.

Something, or someone between 1979 and 1983 reshaped the Upside Down into what we know and don't love today. For reasons I will explain, I believe Will accidentally made the Upside Down reflect Hawkins the night he was taken.

If we look back at Vecna's speech to younger El, he talked a lot about how "Together, we can reshape the world to how we see fit." This appears to still be his goal. When he's speaking to older El, he still says something like "I will be there to pick up the pieces when Hawkins falls. I will remake it into something beautiful."

He's very focused on "reshaping" the world to what he believes is beautiful. He is an artist after all. So where does Will come in?

On the one hand, I feel as though Will was taken by Vecna on purpose. That Will had some kind of latent abilities Vecna could sniff out and he moved his chess pieces around (the Demogorgon) to cross paths with him and inevitably kidnap him into the Upside Down.

On the other hand, I also feel like Will really was just in the wrong place at the wrong time and was just like ever other Demogorgon victim… but something happened when he got taken there.

The once yellow landscape suddenly got overwritten with something else. Like a snapshot or a painting, the Upside Down "under" Hawkins BECAME Hawkins. A weird cold empty duplicate of Hawkins. I'm thinking in the heat of the moment, in the absolute panic of facing a creature like the Demogorgon and getting swept away into an alternate dimension (which is no doubt extremely traumatizing), Will accidentally painted the Upside Down in his image. We mustn't forget, Will is an artist too after all.

Of course, it's hard to not take notice of such a thing happening. Maybe originally Will was meant to just be another tasty snack, but when Vecna took notice of what was happening, Will was spared his fate (and subjected to much worse things). You see, a lot of people argue, "He was just meant to be a slug incubator", but I still don't think that's the entire story.

The Demogorgon still maimed and killed ALL it's victims. Barb, Bob, the Russians, the two hunters off screen, the deer. Every single one of them. Will did not have a scratch on him. He was malnourished and probably suffering from hypothermia, but he did not have any physical injuries. That alone makes him different from every other victim of the Upside Down.

This brings us to season 2. Note, Will has not yet been possessed at the beginning of season 2. He just has some kind of strange connection to the Upside Down and/or that still persists to this day. At the beginning of season 2 when Will is speaking to Owens, he says the "evil" wanted to kill. "Not me. Everyone else," he said.

This very much lines up with the idea that Vecna is aware of Will's ability to shape the Upside Down. No, he doesn't want to kill Will. But he wants to conscript him. To "reshape the world", which he knows Will can do. He originally wanted El at his side for this purpose, but now, he's already found a new target to fulfill his desires. Another kid very similar to him just like El was. An artist even.

Kinda fits, doesn't it?

I've identified as ace for about 5 years but for me I don't feel proud about it? I want to...

I'm trans and also ID as bi, so people don't really get how I can be bi and ace... So I don't make a big deal about my asexuality and even when I'm talking about my identity, or anyone is. My asexuality never comes up.

I don't know if you can relate to this at all really but my question is:

How did you come to accept your asexuality? Was it a struggle for you? And do you have any advice for someone that's shunned that part of themself for so long they've no idea how to even think of being proud of it?

Have a great day/night 🌻

Oooooh. Hm. Well this may or may not be helpful, but here we go:

I am currently only functioning with the one label. "Asexual" is my thing! Yay! I have my flag! I find my flag in gifsets and art and buttons and things! Cool! [points at the greyscale-and-purple] Look, it me!

I might be aromantic as well? But I'm less connected with that label, and not really sure if it fits. It probably does? Might not? idk. Either way, I don't see the aro flag and go "It me!" And tbh, that's totally fine. I can have parts of myself that are exciting and that I connect with and that make me proud. And I can have parts that are like "You know, idk, that's not really a big deal to me. It's part of me, sure, but it doesn't really impact me right now."

You don't have to be OUT AND LOUD AND PROUD of every bit of yourself. Some things can just kinda be there.

I don't really make a Big Deal about my sexuality IRL, either. I wear an ace ring because it makes me happy, and because I've found and been found by a few other aces that way. I have an ace flag pin that I made, because it signals others that I am Part Of The Group, Too. I have never really come out in the dramatic sense, never sat anyone down and explained to them my ace-ness. But if they pick up on the symbols I wear, cool! But nbd if they don't.

Most times, my pride is less prideful and more comfortable. Identifying as ace just makes me feel right in my own head and life and how I relate to the world.

The times when I have felt pride is around other people. Participating in covering this website in rainbows during June makes me feel pride, because I'm doing it alongside others. Talking to other aces and swapping urls of etsy shops that sell black rings makes me feel pride, because I've made that connection and found another person like me.

And I'll tell you what, I have never felt more prideful than I did when a friend of mine came to me and told me that she'd recently started identifying as ace, and it's because she had seen me and just how normal I made it just by talking about it. That by watching me, she realized that what she was feeling was normal and actually pretty cool and not wrong or scary at all.

[chef kiss]

I'm giving you a really long answer, I'm sorry 😂

But yeah. Pride is cool. Being comfortable is better. Pride follows that pretty easily. You probably know this better than I do, with your being trans! When you find something that seems to click your soul into place like a puzzle piece, you feel that moment of "Ahhh.... yes, that's right" like a good warm blanket. Flags can come later.

I can expand on the story later, but basically how I accepted my asexuality (after several months of waffling "am I? no. but am I? i mean. nah. but maybe?") was that I essentially said to myself "I am asexual. And that's pretty cool."

2022: Fandom Year in Review

So this year was a ride due to moving. Let's see what I actually did :)

Fanfics written/posted: 4 Fanfics started: More than 4 haha Fandoms written in: 4 Number of fanfic words written: 134,636 Fanart completed: 2 Gifsets posted: 27

Most Popular Fic = Dancing on Broken Glass (with a whopping 44 more kudos than the next closest fic)

Most Popular Gifset = - How it started vs how it's going (Star Trek: Picard, Seven/Raffi) - 340 notes, 34 more than the next highest which was also Trek :)

Most Popular Fanart = Winter Advent 22 (Amanda Tapping, Stargate and Sanctuary mixed media) - 59 notes, so a 54 note difference

Links and rambling on everything under the cut :)

Intentions vs Result - I started the year intending to do 'fandom friday' (aka a gifset every friday) and I missed a couple of weeks around April and then I just quit completely and haven't made a gifset since May. I got tired, I got busy, I moved house and the year disappeared. I did get a fair few sets done though and I feel like I got a lot of my system (even if I still have ideas for sets on my list).

- Mid-April I declared my intention to quit fanfic and I said "my mission if I choose to accept it" was to spend the rest of the year writing every idea on my list. However, due to the aforementioned moving house I fell off the writing wagon completely thanks to the stress. Then once I had moved house that felt like a clean break and so I just decided to stop with the fanfic. I have WIPs on my HD but I had posted all my current fic, so it's not like I left anything exactly, but I am still sad. All those ideas that I love that will now never become reality.

- Art is my old nemesis. As always I wanted to do so much more but with the whole moving thing, I am probably lucky I did anything. I am intending to do a LOT more next year so cross fingers on that.

2022 Fanfic - Dancing on Broken Glass (2,266 words, Star Trek: Picard Seven/Raffi) aka the 'oh no' fic because oops I entered another fandom. I just reached this episode and I hit peak shipper level and just had to go for it. It wouldn't leave me alone. I have feelings about these two. Even though I haven't created much for them due to life, they live rent free in my head.

- Odyssey: Future's Legacy (84,274 words, Sanctuary/Warehouse 13 crossover) I have to be honest this was the fic that made me question what I was doing with my life. 84k - that's a novel. Now don't get me wrong I am a huge supporter of fanfic. It has kept me sane, it has kept me writing, it has given me so much. But I have dreams and sort of realised that I wouldn't get to the life I wanted to live writing fics like this - however much I genuinely enjoyed writing it. Crossovers are basically self-indulgent. I am my own reader and yeah it was fun :)

- We Belong to the Future (4,837 words, The Librarians) Written for prompt month. I intended to do so much more but this was middle of house buying, and I basically shutdown from the stress. This was the only fic/thing I did for prompt month this year. I am sad about that, especially because this fic is unbearably sad. I made myself cry. Clearly I was in a morose mood, I apologise.

- Time Will Tell (43,259 words, Sanctuary James/John/Helen) aka the Soulmate AU. I didn't know this would be my last fic with them, I have so many more ideas. Still I do like this one, I even indulged myself with an epilogue of the changed future. I do like my happy endings :)

2022 Fanart - Dancing in a Galaxy of their own Seven and Raffi, Star Trek: Picard. I guess this could be a companion to the fic I wrote as it's basically the same scene. I will be forever bitter that Seven and Raffi didn't dance at the gala in season two - so I made it happen in fic and in art. This is a digital drawing and it's terrible but it was driven by passion for the ship. I just had to make it exist. - Winter Advent 22 The Amanda Tapping discord server did a "12 days of Advent fan-mas" kind of thing and I signed up for the 21st. This was my entry. Total mixed media project. Done primarily with watercolour and regular coloured pencils but a few markers were thrown in here and there. I'm moving over to traditional art thanks to the whole depressing AI art thing. I've been trying to get better at drawing for years and now a computer comes along and does it 10x better than me and in an instant? Maybe with a pencil I will remain relevant for a little while longer - I hope. Anyway, it's not great but I tried.

2022 Gifsets 300 Notes Club - How it started vs how it's going (Star Trek: Picard, Seven/Raffi) 340 - You owe me a ship Picard (Star Trek: Picard, Seven & Picard) 306 200 Notes Club - I'm here, it's alright (Star Trek: Picard, Seven, Elnor & Raffi) 258 - AU in which HG Wells catches John instead of Helen (Sanctuary/Warehouse 13 crossover) 219

100 Notes Club - Have you ever been in love? (Warehouse 13, Bering and Wells exchange) 158 - Female Power, Helen Magnus (Sanctuary Appreciation Week, Day One) 150 - What is stronger than the human heart? (Sanctuary, Helen Magnus) 146 - Who tells your story? (Sanctuary, The Five) 102

50 Notes Club - The world should have protected you (Sanctuary, Helen Magnus) 71 - There are no happy endings (Sanctuary OT3) 68 - Can we keep our bearing straight? (Sanctuary, The Five) 66 - Abnormals (Sanctuary Appreciation Week, Day One) 62 - Let me die the moment my love dies (Sanctuary OT3) 62 - I'm sensing a pattern (Sanctuary OT3) 62 - The last time (Sanctuary OT3) 56 - Matching jackets (Sanctuary, John/Helen) 55 - Touch, OT3 (Sanctuary Appreciation Week, Day Two) 50

And the rest - That's my OT3 (Sanctuary OT3) 45 - The real favourite is all five (Sanctuary, Nikola Tesla) 43 - Universe fights (Sanctuary OT3) 42 - The family Magnus (Sanctuary Appreciation Week, Day Four) 41 - Have you ever been in love? (Sanctuary OT3) 39 - Good looks, Nikola Tesla (Sanctuary Appreciation Week, Day Three) 38 - Galaxies Collide (Sanctuary OT3) 31 - Monster, John Druitt (Sanctuary Appreciation Week, Day One) 27 - The ones you love the most (Sanctuary, John/Helen) 19 - Everyday Superhero (Sanctuary Appreciation Week, Day Seven) 18

Hi!!! Shadow-ban survivor here lol! 💗 Hopefully you don’t mind me popping in here! I had the same thing going on as you - I had a side blog that wasn’t showing up in search nor were DMs coming up 😪 I wrote support and they got back to me in just a day or two! They’ll probably get back with you asap but if not (and you may have done this 🙏🏻) I think what helped me was sending screenshots of what I had going on along with my request! I sent a screen shot where I had circled in red my missing messages and another screenshot of how if you searched my blog url it wasn’t appearing! I wonder if maybe sending photos help push the request through! I hope you’re able to get it everything working asap, and I know you’ll have your blog all fixed up in no-time! 🥰

Thank you so much for this. I know this is some kind of glitch on this site because a lot of blogs have been shadowbanned for no reason and I would never notice mine was too if I didn’t post couple of gifsets two days ago and they’re still not showing in the tags (btw sideblogs are fine). Then my friend told me they didn’t get my asks and notifications from me, that I didn’t appear in search, etc. And now I noticed my IM’s are gone too💀

In my email I described all these issues but I probably should’ve attached some screenshots indeed (that’s a really good idea, thank you). I’m going to wait a day or two, and if nothing happens, I’ll send staff another letter with a gallery of screens showing what’s wrong with my blog. Thanks again for reaching out, I really appreciate it 🫶

@collidingxworlds said: 8, 18, 28 (mun talks about a munday topic)

send a number for me to talk about one of the following topics    /    ACCEPTING ↷

reblog karma :: I prefer if people reblog from the source regardless of if they send me a meme or not (unless maybe ooc memes because it’s fun to send some back if they sent me some and reblogged from me and I notice that), but I’m not that bothered about it if people reblog from me and don’t send stuff, unless it’s non-mutuals/happens all the time excessively. I definitely prefer people to not send something out of obligation. I’ve seen folks talk about how they "know" people reblogged because they saw the meme "on their blog" even if they reblogged from the source and I think that’s... way too far, like, so what if they saw it from you and sent nothing if they reblogged from source/a meme blog? I understand wanting mutuals to interact with you and I agree that everyone would do well with making a little bit more effort to engage with their mutuals (liking gifsets and such is such a low effort way of signaling you value someone on your dash for example if you don’t have it in you to interact ic or talk), I don’t understand why anyone would want to be sent memes the other mun had no true interest in. I think everyone is entitled to their own rules with this, and I reblog from source on default, if available, unless I know the other mun prefers I reblog from them instead.

shipping :: Taking this to refer to romantic/sexual shipping. I love to ship! I hate that even I feel the need to say that "I am not here for ships only", as if simply saying I love shipping meant that that’s all I want from roleplay... I think the rpc as a whole should keep trying to unlearn any shame related to shipping, and I think that shame comes from misogyny. Romance in fiction is often both marketed towards women, and we automatically view romcoms, harlequin novels, etc. as "lesser" than, not real art/literature, shallow (which... there’s nothing wrong with something just being lighthearted entertainment, it doesn’t decrease the value of the work)... It’s not a coincidence the things commonly associated with "types of fiction women engage with" are seen as less valuable. It’s probably the source of the subtle feeling of "writing platonic dynamics is superior" in the rpc. It’s more internalised (you don’t have to be a woman to have internalised misogyny - I am not a woman and I’ve noticed these types of shame in myself) than anyone actually saying that about what other people write. My saying "I want to ship but I’m not here for only that" comes from shame related to internalised misogyny, just the feeling of needing to defend shipping by signaling that it’s not all you write is likely related to internalised misogyny. Being more nervous about asking if the other mun is interested in shipping than if they’re interested in a friendship interaction is likely related to internalised misogyny... Again: because romance as a genre is associated with being "for women", and systemic misogyny. Why else would it feel more shameful to suggest writing with another mun? Why should it?

Bet you all didn’t expect a social commentary on misogyny’s effect on fiction-

I love shipping, and I wish I were more bold in daring to suggest shipping. I think force shipping and not taking a no for an answer is a much, much smaller scale issue in the rpc than the shame related to wanting to ship. Like, on an individual level the former is a worse thing, but I don’t think it’s as prevalent as the internalised shame about ships.

your first muse :: Off tumblr? That goes so far back no one needs to see that; I don’t remember who exactly was my first private muse but I was about 14 years old and in many RPF fandoms so...

On tumblr, it was actually Iris, whom I write on this blog now; my first rp blog here was for her. Her character begun with an idea to make a Doctor Who OC who was manipulated into trying to assassinate the Doctor (which still remains a potential verse; wink wonk folks). This was in 2013. I’d link to her muse page but I desperately want to rewrite/move it before advertising her lollll.

Hey! In your GSR + jealousy, you missed when Grissom finds out about Sara dating Hank. During the 3x2.

Dear anon,

thank you for your note. Yes, honestly, I forgot it. I updated the post, you can find it here.

However, down here is the possible reason why I didn't include that clip in the set originally. 

[Here come my unsolicited and odd 2cents about this topic]

Fact is, the episode in question revolves around the credibility of CSIs in a case where a Hollywood sex symbol is involved. It’s a high-level case and that's clear since the group hears the Hollywood star's attorney on TV saying that the evidence the CSIs have collected is compromised and contaminated – which is not, of course, she's only trying to clear her client. 

From that moment, all of them will be under the scrutiny of Dr. Phillip Gerard (Grissom's mentor), who starts wandering around the lab looking for any possible mistake the members of the team could make.

So, given this premise, Grissom turns his I-have-to-protect-my-family-colleagues-and-lab mode on, fighting to show everyone’s reliability ("they're good people", he says to Gerard), and in order to do this, he needs – and pretends – their help too. No one has to make mistakes or the whole thing blows up in the air ("Warrick, you have to find [your shirt covered in the blood from the accident victim," Grissom says, "otherwise, it'll look like you've got something to hide." / “Oh, CSI's on trial now?” / “CSI's always on trial, Warrick; you know this. Burden of proof is on us.”]

So this is Grissom's state of mind when Gerard appears in the room mentioning Sara's "relationship" and trying to use it to invalidate her work [“I wish she'd mentioned her relationship with the EMT who moved the bra.”]. What Grissom feels in that very moment, in my opinion, is not pure and simple jealousy – like in the other moments of the gifset. He feels let down, instead. It's a matter of trust, rather than one of heart. As if he has just found out that Sara would be really able to put her heart before her reliability on the job she's so good at. And this thing is worse than a broken heart, in his eyes. There must be no room for heart matters in the situation the lab is facing, regardless of who is involved.

This reminds me of what Morgan says about Hodges in "Forget Me Not" (13.15), while she takes blood from Sara's arm.

Morgan: I don't think you want to be around Hodges and a sharp object right now.  Sara: How come? Morgan: ... Sara: He thinks I cheated on Grissom. Morgan: Might as well have cheated on God. In Hodges' eyes, you pretty much did.

This is more or less what, in my opinion, abides in Grissom's mind the very moment the doubt starts to worm his way into his mind. As if what Gerard insinuates contaminated the goddish (?) idea Grissom has of Sara. In fact, he has such a high opinion of her, he feels she is so much like him, that he has never thought that she could do something like put her personal interest before her professionalism. The fact that there might be the slightest possibility that what Gerard implies is true is something totally unexpected to him. He's not ready for it. 

Coming to know that she has a relationship with some other (handsome and younger and wtf) man, doesn't help. 

Also, the look Grissom shoots at Sara before leaving the room with Gerard (to discuss the matter in the privacy of his office) doesn't appear to me as a look of a man who has just found out his girl has another man. (He knows he can be difficult, he has often borne the weight of this with her, and every time Sara has made him notice he had made/said something wrong his disposition was different). Now, instead, he looks angry, in the simplest meaning of the word. Humanly full of disapproval. So not as a lover, but rather as a human being.

Like some kind of pact had been made between him and Sara, and Sara broke it without bothering to warn him. Not putting personal business before the job is Grissom’s way of living, and he had always thought Sara was someone doing the same – this made him feel closer to her. So, the news Gerard takes out of his hat makes Grissom feel like he can't recognize her, as though all of a sudden he doesn't know who she is anymore – or maybe he never really had known her?

We were doing just fine, our minds are alike…what the hell happened?! 

What Grissom and Gerard discuss in Grissom's office after that scene, we don't know. In the following scenes, we see, in order: Grissom having a sharp exchange with Catherine; Grissom reprimanding Warrick about the aforementioned shirt covered in blood; Grissom noticing Gerard, his mentor, acting like a d**k.

This last event leads to a moment of confrontation between Grissom and Gerard as they walk in the hallway of the lab, during which Gerard includes some "sweetheart deals" among the reasons the CSIs are not doing their job the right way. As he does so, Grissom stops him abruptly and changes the subject (just in the same way he has done in the scene with Sara when she starts to justify herself about her relationship with Hank). 

Now, the only moment a "sweetheart deal" has come out before that moment is the one involving Sara. So Gerard must refer to that. But that line always concatenates questions in my mind:

of what “sweetheart deals” Gerard is talking about? The one between Sara and Hank, or the one between Grissom and Sara? 

were the latter, why should he talk about the two of them? 

why does the accusative disposition of Gerard and the Hollywood star’s attorney towards Sara increment from just saying she has a relationship with Hank to trying to insinuate that she would do everything “to please her boss” (Grissom)? 

last but not least, who’s the d*****bag who told them about the brushing the cheek thing??

So, are the “sweetheart deals” Gerard mentions referring to what he and Grissom have discussed in Grissom's office after the "panic moment" with Sara? I think it is highly unlikely that Grissom ever mentioned what he feels for Sara to Gerard (does he even know what he, deeply in his heart, really feels for her at that moment? He probably does, but even a year after these events, during episode 3.22, “Play with fire”, he says that he doesn’t know what to do about their relationship). So in no way do I see him talking about this with Gerard in the middle of a high-level case. Is it possible that Grissom, being Gerard his mentor and Grissom knowing him for a long time, ever mentioned Sara to him, before the girl became a hot topic for him? There’s no way we’ll ever know.

Just like Grissom tries to put aside the “sweetheart deal” during the Gerard and Sara moment, and during his own confrontation with Gerard, however, he tries to put himself aside in the relationship with Sara. He’s too focused on the case to face these kinds of things and so do something honorable: “Whatever happens in court, it's not because you're seeing this guy. You deserve to have a life,” he says to Sara before she goes to testify. She wants a life with you, idiot.

However, his effort lasts like a millisecond, because in the very following episode he just goes crazy over the fact that Sara is away from work with the guy and resolutely calls her back to her duties. Funny thing is that when Sara repeats his words about having a life, he says “did I?”, pretending he’s not even aware of what he had told her.

Finally, there’s one thing that I like about this episode. When Gerard arrives in the room, before he does his mess, Grissom and Sara are discussing in front of the sheet on which the homicide was committed.

(Sara is examining the bloodied bed sheet. It hangs from the ceiling. Grissom walks in and stops next to SARA. He holds a flashlight like a pointer and uses it on the sheet as he talks. SARA holds a file folder that she references.) Grissom: Okay... so the flowing pattern is from the v*ctim's neck wound. This other pattern, though... Sara: The waffle pattern -- I know, I'm trying to figure that out. Grissom: No, no. Here-- the bl**d spatter.

Well, that waffle pattern Sara mentions is what in the end nails the Hollywood star. And who does the job? Grissom. Like, despite everything, he keeps listening to her in his mind. Like he can do nothing but hold Sara in high regard. Like he can do nothing but love her.

That’s it. I just thought it was a good idea to write about this, to have an additional reading of the moment.

Take care and be safe. Best, L

hi! really like your kinn x porsche gifset for the recent ep! but just wondering..i rmb you mentioned you would be more interested in the next vegaspete scene than the pool scene? but i see you gifed the bit from the pool scene even if you felt vegaspete was ‘superior’. just wondering 😬 good day! 😇

hi, dear anonnie! okay, you didn't have to come at me like that

well you need to know something about me before we continue. i easily got bored when the couple is finally together and all sweet with each other. i drop most shows or watching them very briefly when the lovey-dovey phase comes. I usually don't enjoy the show as much as I did in the beginning

the same thing happened with kinnporsche. I don't know if you saw but after ep8 I've said that that much sweetness is not for me i didn't even have any set ideas in mind. I also made and angsty edit just after two episodes of kp lol craving angst already in that time. don't get me wrong i want them to be happy and in love it's just my preference as a viewer

and here's when vp comes. when i was like "it's too sweet for my poor heart" they gave me the angsty couple with insane chemistry and very complicated relationship to get obsessed to again. and of course i prefer them more now. but I'm sure this whole bored part will happen with vp too when i see them in their lovey-dovey phase (in some kind of imaginary season 2)

and now let me talk about the pool scene itself. they've been hyping this up for two months so much that i naturally assumed (and we all naturally assumed) that this will be another hot and passionate nc scene. what i didn't expect is for that to be angsty and tender and full of mostly bad emotions (you can't convince me otherwise it was a goodbye s*ex okay). and i need to tell you that my favorite nc scene of them is that desperate one in the end of the ep7 and this one comes very closely to that one. so yeah i loved this tender worshipping and loving act full of complicated emotions and made a set. sue me i guess

also the way mileapo delivered this scene? incredible, immaculate, perfect and go on

and I don't really know why I'm answering this ask and defending myself in some weird kind of way lol. i just wanna say that let us have different preferences and different tastes. I've never said anything offending about either mileapo or kinnporsche and I'll never say something like that. mileapo is an amazing duo that act so perfectly in every scene your brain just shuts itself down. but yes for me vegaspete is more interesting rn. I've never seen that kind of relationship on screen and it's truly fascinating to see how writers write their asses out of this mess. because it's a huge mess.

and good day to you too, dear!

feel free to rant more!

what baffles me is that people don't interact with gifsets here but they do on other platforms. a gifset that hasn't reached 1k notes will have a gif with 10k likes on twt. like they have to seek out content here but cannot interact with it here?

i'm just baffled about tv shows and movies. if you aren't part of a big sourceblog, and don't post within the hour, you are doomed... like 10 years ago, with weekly releases, it could sustain a fandom for the whole 7 of days, not just one hour.

bahahah i will 😌 you've enabled me now

tbh i use twitter very rarely so i have no idea if people steal my gifs and repost them there. but i'm 100% sure it's happened bc i know it happens to me here regularly. i hate when it happens. it's super frustrating and it's not okay.

i guess my answer to why they get so much interaction on twitter instead of here might have something to do with twitter just being a much bigger platform paired with it having an algorithm. and also how do you measure/what do you consider engagement on twitter? is it just the likes or is it also the retweets? to me here on tumblr i disregard the likes most of the time. what i consider engagement is if someone reblogged the gifset. so if we use that same logic to twitter and count the retweets/quote tweets (or whatever the fuck they're called), i don't think the engagement is better on twitter than it is here (i might be wrong tho since i don't really use twitter that much).

the normalization of lurker accounts on twitter (like i mentioned in the other ask), might also have something to do with the engagement being low. i get so many blank blogs following me/liking my posts and i can't tell if they're real people or bots. like i mentioned before, this is becoming more normal on other platforms, and i think tumblr has a job to do in this regard. they need to understand how the internet's changed, and then develop with the internet, while at the same time not loose what makes tumblr special/different from other platforms/social media.

as to why people seek out content here, but not interact with it might have something to do with tumblr's image? i think a lot of people look at tumblr a little like pinterest. that content just suddenly appears here and no one owns it (tbh pinterest is problematic in it's own way when it comes to stolen content but that's a topic for another day). tumblr gets looked down upon i feel like. people look at it like the 2012-2014 ~tumblr aesthetic~ or superwholock. so why would you admit that you have a tumblr account in 2023? maybe that's why they don't interact?

the sourceblogs and posting within the hour of something dropping is a whole nother beast tbh. like you mentioned "10 years ago, with weekly releases, it could sustain a fandom for the whole 7 of days, not just one hour". i think this has to do with our attention span being shorter. maybe we also can give netflix some of the fault in this with dropping whole seasons at once and the rise of binging. you have to see it the moment it drops or you're already too late. if you missed your shot of this small window, no one cares anymore bc we've moved on to the next thing <- lol super cynical of me maybe?

i think the idea of sourceblogs are a good one (and tracking tags). it's us gifmakers way of supporting each other and spreading our gifs to a wider audience (while tumblr continues to make it harder and harder for us to actually post gifs and have them be seen).

but as someone who's not in a lot of sourceblogs, but are still a gifmaker (maybe not predominantly tv/film but i do gif it!), i do feel left out or at an disadvantage a lot of the time. my gifs are not a priority, they go in the queue. and when posting gifs as soon as something drops is the only way for you to get notes/interaction- it sucks for me that my gifs will be reblogged when it's too "late" and people have lost interest. maybe they also will be reblogged at a time of the day when the dash is slower, or not reblogged at all sometimes.

moral of the story: pls interact with gifs and reblog them. it's more appreciated than you think. and don't steal gifs to repost them!