Waiting mode is the most uncomfortable thing ever. I can't do anything, I can't relax, I can't play video games or anything until the thing I'm waiting for actually happens

peace !!

i love getting comments on random chapters in the middle of my fic because i do not remember what happened please tell me

I love finding my people (anyone with the same hyperfixations as me)

WIP Wednesday!

@gordopickett tagged me earlier this week—thank you <3—and I planned to do it today and then of course forgot until the evening. I should have just done it and scheduled it to post today, but I had hoped to work more on Love at the Drafting Table and post that. Alas—I talk about a project and then life conspires to keep me from working on it!

Instead, below is an older, very rough snippet from another languishing, unfinished WIP, The Calculus of Grief, written at the end of April.

Tagging: @madamairlock, @littlelindentree, @caitylove, @shu-of-the-wind, @fireandsoup

More tags (split to work around broken tumblr tagging): @imsfire2, @cryscal, @air-mechanical, @youreorangeyoumoron, @wanderleave

And anyone else who might want to <3

Though the school year had barely just begun, it was actually still a month out from the second anniversary of Sergei’s first day teaching at Spiro T. Agnew High School. October 1, 1995 felt like a lifetime ago. To be honest, he tried to think about the time before as little as possible. But today was a different anniversary: September 4. Today it was harder than most days to ignore the gaping hole in the center of his life. Two years ago today he and his family had landed in Germany. After an hour of debriefing and setting the wheels in motion, of letting hope run wild and selecting a name to bear during their transition, he had called Margo from his hotel room. He had been overjoyed to see her, and when he hung up, his mother had joined him from the adjoining room where his father slept, with his sisters and their families resting safely down the hall. She had asked him about this woman who had saved him, who so clearly held the heart of her firstborn, her only son. So, Sergei had told her their story. For the first time in his life, he was free to tell his mother about the woman he had been in love with for well over ten years. Hours later, when the news reached them, she had pulled him sobbing into her arms as she had when he was small, before the births of his sisters. That was the only time he had given into the despair of losing her. He was trying to live, to stay safe as she had told him. To keep his family safe. And the only way he could manage to do that, to go on, was to leave it all behind. But then just last night he had seen on the news that the Sojourner 1 astronauts and Mars-94 cosmonauts had finally returned to Earth. After their nearly two year ordeal, the world joined in their joy and relief as the survivors were reunited with their loved ones. Sergei had watched Rolan Baranov, the cosmonaut turned astronaut—a defector like himself—be reunited with his American wife and son. His wife who had survived the bombing of JSC. Unlike Margo. Sergei honestly wasn’t sure how he’d made it into work at all. “Mr. Bezukhov?” Principal Alice Nikolsky—not Nikolskaya—called as she knocked on the door of the classroom. “We have a new student for your homeroom. She’s just transferred up from Huntsville, Alabama.” A young girl stepped into the doorway, her pale orange hair falling around wire rim glasses and shadowing her pale freckled face. She looked up, her blue eyes so like his mother’s, his own catching him already off guard as Alice introduced her, “Madison Morgan.”  Seryozha, if you do not let yourself mourn her, she will haunt you forever. His mother’s plea rose in his mind as he took in this child, bouncing nervously on balls of her feet. In another life they could have had a daughter who looked like this girl.

So, I was trying to cook ramen with eggs just now. Instead, I spaced out, poured all my ramen into the sink and burned my eggs. So to all of the people who think ADHD isn't a real disability or doesn't actually affect people with it beyond "oh silly quirky can't sit still disorder",

fuck you, please go die in a hole, thanks!

Did this for fun a while ago.

Tag urself, I’m top middle.

At the "i would hesitate before saying no if someone asked me if I'd rather die than finish this" point in this paper craft brontosaurus project. Literally two pieces left, out of ~50

Adhd is sitting at your desk, having everything set up to start working but instead of actually working, it's being on your phone instead

reading riordanverse fic again

the world is healing

I like to think that when Lucifer fell, he was so distraught and riddled with anger, sadness, and confusion, that he spent years screaming his lungs out, yelling to be let back in and yelling apologies to the tiny white dot in the red sky. His tears of fire and pain would fill up Hell and give it oceans of burning, that’s how sinners first saw Hell when they got there. So now at night, when everything is dead silent, some sinners and hellborn can still hear echos of Lucifer’s screams and cries in the distance.

Welcome to Frankie has a weird thought and feels the need to share it with tumblr

Do the pop trolls have therapy? Think about it, their whole thing is like being happy and from the looks of it, Branch was the only grey dude in the village at the start of the movie so they probs wouldn’t have a need but what about after the first movie? This has been on my mind for the last 2 hours

I have something that I need to tell you all. And it's really hard to say, but....

I have ADHD

Yeah, I've been on Tumblr for about a year now, and I've never told anyone besides @hey-imma-fangirl and @bubblegumlover99 about it.

I really hope you guys understand because I grew up undiagnosed with adhd and everyone targeted me for my special needs, and nobody accepted me for who I was. That's why I'm always afraid of making friends because I'm worried that my adhd will get in the way and nobody will like me because I come off as weird and obnoxious.

That's why I've never revealed my adhd on my social media accounts.

I really hope you guys understand.

@loki104-uwu @nia1sworld @mypersonalfirepit @sp00kies @weirdgirl92 @fizzypopsoda-comics @fantasyfictionmaker @ivorys-back

WIP Title Ask Meme

Prompt: Make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! And then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

I'm going to tag far fewer people than the list would dictate because, well, I have too many WIPs!

Tagged by @gordopickett, thank you <3

Tagging:

@brynnmclean

@madamairlock

@wanderleave

@callioope

@caitylove

@lalalauraroslin

@littlelindentree

@narilwrites

@melyzard

@thevulcanbobdylan

@spectral-musette

@miabicicletta

and anyone else who wants to play!

I've never done an ask meme before and I am bad at asks, but I want to chat with people about stuff!

Also, in the interests of keeping this manageable, I'm only posting titles of WIPs I've touched in the last five years not including the ones I've posted to my Unfinished Tales series on AO3 😅

Also, also, I have separate WIP folders for each fandom so I'm going to separate them here as well.

For All Mankind

For Want of a Home

I Need More Time

Love at the Drafting Table

A Leash Can Easily Become a Noose

A Shadow of Doubt

There's Gotta Be Another Solution

A Handsome Young Suitor

A Beautiful Young Bride

The Calculus of Grief

Alternating Currents

Battlestar Galactica (2003)

Through All That Masquerade

A Child Can Follow the Light

The Measure of a Man

How Can I Hold the Part of Me That Only You Can Carry

Ianuarius 1

Februarius 14

Iunius 20

Quintilis 22

Sextilis 6

Rogue One

Run Between the Shadows

A Radiance That Travels

In the Secret Wells

I don't Believe in Destiny

Beauty and the Beast (1987)

Angel In Manhattan

Margaret Returns AU

Torchwood

Aliens of London AU

The ADHD creature!1!1!!1!1!

Man i love this lil guy

I don’t think using the term “narcissistic abuse” is ableist.

(addendum: if you are triggered by the usage of the term, please enforce a boundary for yourself to ignore posts like these (just like how I ignore posts that trigger me). I am not wishing harm on anyone. I am working on healing, moving on, and also forgiving people - but it does not change what happened.) Ableism is the blatant discrimination of those with disabilities - calling the abuse cycle by its term (there is no other term that accurately describes what I went through) is not ableist. Just like calling me autistic is not ableist. Just like calling out my previous codependency and people-pleasing that caused me to chronically lie to people is not ableist. The term is DESCRIPTIVE and it is indicative of a real thing that happens.

I know other people think that it is ableist.

I know people won’t believe me when I say it saved my life.

You know how no matter what you do or say, someone will find issue with it? Doesn’t matter how many degrees you have, the amount of medical validation you have received, the things you have witnessed, the insistence that I am not proposing harm to anyone (I am insisting on accountability though!), etc.

There are people who will not believe you or take it personally.

The lesson I have learned: I need to trust myself with the information I have right now. I can continue to learn more about people and the world, but I am not responsible for people thinking that my usage of a term is vilifying a whole community. I have faced this my entire life (telling white people about white supremacy and appropriation and then having them accuse me of vilifying all white people; countless other black-and-white examples).

So whatever.

Call me a monster.

After all my abuser probably calls me one.