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hotmesshapa · 3 years

Text

VIP • Bang Chan

pairing: bang chan x female reader

genre: smut • DJ!chan x stripper!reader

rating: 18+

word count: 4.6k

warnings: strong language, explicit sexual content, unprotected sex, slight jealousy, very light orgasm denial and spanking, a bit of fluff

a/n: this is the first fic I’ve written in literal years and I have no idea what I’m doing, so I’m sorry in advance lol. also shoutout to these lovelies for being interested from the start 🖤 @mikoto-ica-fics @missskzbiased @bratforbin @jungkooksbroski

There are three strict rules in the club: no touching the strippers, no romantic work relationships, and absolutely no sex in the club. Your manager had everyone sign off on his rules for a reason; you didn’t even want to imagine the chaos that could ensue if everyone was allowed to do whatever they desired in the club.

However, whenever Chan was DJing on the nights you worked, you always considered blowing off those rules. But you knew better. You both enjoyed your jobs at the club and wouldn’t risk getting fired over something as stupid breaking the few rules, despite the obvious sexual tension between the two of you. It’s not your fault that he always came into work wearing tight shirts that clung to his muscles in ways that made you drool. It’s not your fault that he flirted back whenever you playfully hit on him while handing off your playlist for the night. It’s not your fault you noticed the way his eyes hungrily stared you down whenever you were on the main stage, or the way his jaw clenched in jealousy whenever you took a guest to the VIP room.

But rules are meant to be broken, right?

Tonight starts out no different from any other work night: greeting the other girls and bartenders, taking a quick shot of tequila for an extra boost of confidence, and digging through your purse trying to find your flash drive of songs you want played for your routines.

“Got anything new for me, babygirl?”

You snap your head up at the sound of the handsome DJ’s voice. “Hello to you too, Chan,” you reply, rolling your eyes. He shamelessly checks you out and gives you a cocky grin that you can’t decide if it makes you want smack him or pounce on him “You know if Minho hears you speak to me like that, you’re in a world of shit.”

“Then it’s a good thing he’s not here tonight. But even if he was, he wouldn’t dare fire me. I’m the best DJ this club has.”

“Well then, fuck my drag,” Changbin pipes up from behind the booth, shooting a glare at Chan. “If you’re so great, set up your own table then.”

“Don’t listen to him, Binnie,” you giggle as you go back to searching for your flash drive, “He just likes to think he has all the power around here.”

Changbin scoffs as he continues to set up his mixers. “Only when you’re around. The other girls would kill to have him flirt with them.”

You feel your cheeks flush at the comment, but try your best to ignore the feeling as you turn back to Chan and hand him your music. “I have some new songs for tonight. Feel free to play whichever ones you want to watch me dance to.”

“Jesus,” Changbin rolls his eyes, “get a room, you two.”

You shoot Chan a quick wink, earning a smirk from him, and turn around to head to the dressing rooms, well aware his eyes are glued to you as you leave.

You close the door behind you and set your purse down on the vanity, checking your phone and cursing at the time. You hadn’t realized that your mini flirting session took up more time than expected, and start frantically getting ready, changing into your black satin two-piece that left very little to the imagination and applying a generous amount of body highlighter to every exposed part of you.

As you stare at yourself in the mirror, you can’t help but think about what Changbin had said. You and Chan flirt all the time, and normally it doesn’t affect you, but something about Changbin’s comment has your head spinning. Something about discovering Chan only flirts with you just makes you want to break the rules even more, but you don’t want to risk your jobs just because you desperately want him to dick him down. You wouldn’t do that to him. You sigh and slip into your stilettos, checking your appearance one last time before stepping out onto the main floor for your night to begin.

The night had been running smoothly as usual: three pole routines with the songs Chan chose from your collection (all by The Weeknd, of course), and a few rotations around the club flirting with guests, giving a couple of lapdances. You have a generous amount of bills tucked into your thong and bra, and you pull them out to count, trying to smooth them out and make them look somewhat presentable. You make your way to the DJ booth, where you find Chan leaning against the wall beside the booth, scrolling through his phone and sipping on a beer, while Changbin is behind the table, engrossed with the set he was playing.

“Here,” you say, handing Chan his tip. “You made some really good choices tonight. I had a feeling you’d choose The Weeknd.”

“What can I say,” he smirks, “You can’t just give me the option to play his hottest songs and not expect me to do anything about it. Especially when I get to watch you dance to them.”

He suddenly leans in, closing any space there was between you two. “By the way, your routine to ‘Life of the Party’? So. Fucking. Hot,” he purrs, looking straight into the eyes.

“Chan,” your voice falters for a second, your eyes unintentionally dropping to his lips, before bringing them back up to meet his stare. You clear your throat in efforts to recover, desperately trying to ignore the heat rising in your core. “You’re gonna get us in trouble.”

“Come on, Y/N, would that be so bad?”

“God, I can’t leave you two alone for one set, can I?” Changbin slides himself between you and the other DJ, throwing an arm over your shoulder and playfully wiggling his eyebrows at you both.

You elbow him in the ribs, earning a dramatic cry from him in return, and you can’t help but giggle. “How much have you had to drink?”

“Three shots? Maybe four? I don’t remember.” He hums in appreciation as you hand him a wad of cash. “I can’t believe I’m gonna pay this month’s rent with your ass money,” he laughs, trying to shake off as much body glitter from the bills you handed him before sliding them into his wallet.

You roll your eyes. “I can give you tit money, if you pref-“

“There’s my baby!”

The three of you spin around at the familiar voice, coming face to face with a young man, his dark hair grazing his eyes as he shamelessly checks you out.

“Jisung! I was wondering when you’d show up!” Changbin greets the man with a typical bro handshake, before swinging an arm around his neck. “Here for the usual?”

“Of course,” Jisung smiles at you, “It’s not a Friday night without a visit with Y/N.”

Jisung was one of your regulars; he came in every Monday and Friday to book private lapdances with you, and only you. The first night he booked you, he almost immediately admitted how enamored he was with you, and ever since then, he refused to book with any of the other girls. And to be fair, you might have allowed him to break one of the rules, letting him grab your ass, hips and breasts as you danced, especially since that always earned a better tip from him. But now, while he still did request lapdances every now and then, he mainly booked you just to talk, and fortunately for you, he still tipped generously. He was an assistant to a big-time music producer, a job that came with a handful of stressors that he just needed to rant to someone about, and you were always willing to be there to listen.

While the relationship you and Jisung formed over the past year is strictly platonic, that hadn’t stopped Chan from developing a slight sense of jealousy. And to make matters more complicated, Jisung was well aware of that tension and loved to push the DJ’s buttons, much to your chagrin.

Jisung shifts his focus to Chan, giving him a cocky smirk that you know will be followed by a snarky comment. “I’ve been dying to see this pretty lil’ lady all day. You don’t mind if I steal her away, do you?”

“Of course not,” scoffs Chan, rolling his eyes. “You don’t need my permission. She doesn’t belong to me.”

“Awww. And I know that must be difficult for yo-”

“But she doesn’t belong to you either.”

Jisung says nothing for a moment, before cocking his head at the DJ with a smirk and stepping towards him. “Oh? Is that so? I don’t see anyone else going to the VIP room with her the nights I’m here.”

“Guys-” you feebly try to take control of the situation, but your words fall on deaf ears.

“Y/N is a human being, not a fucking dog, Jisung. Nobody ‘owns’ her.” Chan crosses his arms against his chest, looking the younger man dead in the eye. “If anything, considering you’ve been coming here and paying her the big bucks, for what, a year now? I’d say she’s the one that owns you.”

Jisung smirk immediately disappears and you swear you can feel the air between the two men flood with tension. But within an instant, he smiles again, throwing his hands up in defeat. “Now, now, there’s no need to get your panties in a twist. But don’t worry, I’ll take good care of her and have some fun for the both of us. If you want, I can tell you all about it later.”

You quickly glance at Chan, his fingernails digging into the skin of his biceps, his jaw clenching so hard he looks like he could bust a vein in his neck.

“That’s enough,” Changbin interjects, massaging his temples in frustration. “Come on, Chan, you’re in the booth next. And Jisung? Just remember the club rules-”

“I know, I know,” Jisung rolls his eyes and turns back to you. “Shall we, baby?”

You nod, silently praying that Changbin will calm everything down once you leave, and the two of you head to the VIP room. Jisung opens the door follows you inside, jumping in surprise when you slam it shut and shoot him a glare, and he only laughs in response. “What? If you can tease him, why can’t I?”

You sit on the maroon leather couch in the VIP room, counting your tips and mentally making sure you had enough to pay your upcoming bills for the month. Jisung had left about twenty minutes ago, and the lack of muffled music from the main floor indicates that it’s finally 3am and the club is closed for the night. You release a long sigh, slouching in your seat and resting your head back on the couch. You close your eyes, your mind still reeling from everything that happened. Everything about tonight shocked you. Usually, Chan was good at hiding his jealousy, since the last thing both of you want was to scare away potential guests, or for Minho to notice. But Chan talking back? His reaction to Jisung’s last jab before leaving for the VIP room? Those were new.

You have never seen Chan that jealous, and if you’re being completely honest with yourself, it was fucking hot. Thoughts of Chan not only standing up for you, but also being possessive of you, and what he could do to you out of jealousy filled your head, and you feel a sudden tingle shoot down to your core. Everything in you knows that you shouldn’t fuck Chan. There are rules, but you can’t stop your mind from imagining all the possible sinful acts you could do with him that you would do anything for at this point. You know that would be a bad idea, but the delicious wetness pooling between your thighs shoves any inhibitions you previously had out the door.

Fuck the rules.

You walk out onto the empty main floor, letting out a breath of relief to find Chan packing up his mixers - alone. You tap on the booth to get his attention, giggling when he jumps in surprise.

“You’re still here? I’d thought you’d be gone by now.”

“I was just counting tips,” you reply as you glance around the club, making sure you two were truly alone. “Chan… about earlier-”

“Yeah... sorry about that.” He lets out a long sigh and runs his fingers through his dark, messy hair, the tips of his ears turning pink in embarrassment. “I don’t know what came over me. I just... you know I get a bit jealous sometimes, and that prick was being extra annoying about it tonight.”

“Not gonna lie though, your clapback was pretty great. And hilarious,” you nudge his arm with your elbow.

He laughs. “Yeah, well I’m glad you thought it was, because Changbin sure as hell lectured me about it for a solid 15 minutes.”

A comfortable silence falls between you both as Chan goes back to packing up the table. You chew on your bottom lip, trying to figure out the best way to ease any tension that might be lingering, and to bring up what you truly want from him. “Chan... Jisung and I just talk when we’re in the VIP room. Nothing happens-”

He shakes his head, keeping his focus on his current task. “You don’t need to tell me, Y/N. It’s honestly none of my business what you do with the guests. Like I said earlier, you don’t belong to me.”

“But what if I want to?”

His head snaps up to meet your gaze, and you have to bite down on your bottom lip to keep yourself from giggling at the look of utter confusion on his face. You lean in closer, lips inches away from his, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Y/N… w-what are you doing?” Chan shakily asks, his stare flicking between your eyes and your lips.

“Something I’ve been wanting to do for ages.” With that, you close this distance between the both of you, and you practically feel him melt into your touch. His wraps his arms around your waist to pull you closer to him, kissing you with such an intensity that ignites a fire in your core. He backs you up against the wall of the DJ booth, pressing his hips against yours and gently rolling them into you, making you moan against his lips.

Chan hesitantly breaks away from the kiss, breathing heavily as he searches your eyes for any sign of uncertainty or regret. “Y/N. The rules. I don’t want you to get fired-”

“I honestly don’t give a flying fuck about the rules at this point,” you purr, placing kisses along his jaw and neck. “Do you?”

He breaks into the biggest grin you have ever seen, and it makes you smile in return. “Fuck no.” His lips come crashing onto yours, deepening the kiss to the point where it’s a mess of teeth and tongues, indicating how desperately both of you have been wanting to do this.

“Something I’ve been wanting to do for ages.” With that, you close this distance between the both of you, and you practically feel him melt into your touch. His wraps his arms around your waist to pull you closer to him, kissing you back with such an intensity that further ignites the fire in your core. He backs you up against the wall of the DJ booth, pressing his hips against yours and gently rolling them into you, making you softly moan against his lips.

Chan hesitantly breaks away from the kiss, breathing heavily as he searches your eyes for any sign of uncertainty or regret. “Y/N. The rules. I don’t want you to get fired-”

“I honestly don’t give a flying fuck about the rules at this point,” you purr, planting kisses along his jaw and neck. “Do you?”

He breaks into the biggest grin you have ever seen as he brings a hand up to gently cup your cheek, and you can’t help but smile in return. “Fuck no.” His lips come crashing down onto yours, nipping and sucking at your bottom lip, asking for entrance which you instantly give him. You can feel his hard on growing beneath his jeans as he rolls his hips against you once more, making the knot in your stomach tighten.

“Hey, so I’m done-”

Changbin’s voice abruptly interrupts your heated rendezvous, making you frantically scramble out of Chan’s arms and dive underneath the table, while Chan quickly pretends to continue breaking down the DJ booth.

“You guys are literally the least discreet people I know. It blows my mind that you haven’t been caught yet.” You can’t see him, you just know Changbin is shooting Chan one of his signature death glares, intended for the both of you. You poke your head out from behind the booth, which only gets you dramatic eye roll from the other DJ. “Just don’t make a mess and don’t forget to lock up,” he grumbles as he turns to leave. “Oh, by the way bro, you got shit on your face.”

You glance up at Chan, giggling at your lipstick smeared along his lips, jaw, and neck, the bright red color prominent against his pale skin. He narrows his eyes at you, and you innocently mouth the word “whoops”, grinning as he rolls his eyes.

As soon as you hear the doors close, Chan pulls you to your feet, lifting you up and pinning you to the table. He attacks your neck and collarbones with rough kisses, but thankfully not rough enough to leave any marks that’ll need to be covered up for your next shift. Desperate for more, you wrap your legs around his waist and grind your hips up against his, smirking against his lips as he groans into your mouth.

Chan begins to plant wet kisses down your stomach as his hands frantically move from your hips to his belt. He begins to undo the buckle before you grab his hands to stop him, which only gets out a small whimper in confusion from the man. “Not here,” you lean up to pull him closer and playfully nip his bottom lip, before grabbing the hair at the nape of his neck and pulling it so he’s looking you straight in the eyes. “The VIP room.”

Chan’s eyes darken with lust as he harshly kisses you again, deepening the kiss to the point where it’s a mess of teeth and tongues, but it makes the heat between your legs grow by the second. You let out a yelp in surprise as he lifts you into his arms without warning, making his way to the infamous room where he’s watched you lead guests into night after night.

The second he steps into the VIP room, it’s as if both of your desires are kicked into overdrive, the desperation for what you’ve been waiting for all this time becoming almost unbearable. You take his bottom lip between your teeth again and tug on it lightly, relishing the way his grip on your ass tightens exponentially. Chan kicks the door closed, not breaking the kiss for one second as he sits down on the leather couch, positioning you so that you’re straddling his lap. You can feel his prominent bulge underneath the rough material of his jeans as he ruts up against your clothed heat, and you whimper as you grind against him, desperately wanting more and trying to indicate how much you want him need him now. You feel his hands firmly hold you in place, halting your motions and making you whine in frustration, which only earns you a low chuckle in response.

“Use your words, Y/N. Tell me what you want.”

You roughy kiss him and swivel your hips against him, smirking when he releases a throaty groan against your lips. You take a hold of the hair at the nape of his neck, pulling him away from you so you can look him in his lust-filled eyes. “I want you, Chan. All of you.”

Chan smirks, giving you a quick kiss before lifting you off his lap, pulling down his jeans and flinging them off to god knows where. You hastily rip off your two piece and toss it haphazardly across the room, giggling when Chan pulls you back into his lap the second you’re bare in front of him. His gaze is locked on your form, taking you all in before looking back into your eyes. He stares at you as if you are a goddess, and you feel your cheeks flush from the attention.

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful,” he mutters, his hands sliding up and down your sides, leaving goosebumps in their wake. He brings one hand to your jaw, pulling you into a searing kiss, his other hand taking hold his rigid member and sliding it through your sopping folds, making you shameless moan aloud. “Ride me babygirl,” Chan mumbles as he begins to kiss and nip at your collarbone, “take what you want from me.”

With that, you slowly lower yourself onto his cock, keening at the way he deliciously stretches you out, finally giving you the taste of what you’ve been wanting for so long. Chan throws his head back, screwing his eyes shut, a sinful groan falling from lips as you sit on him completely. Giving yourself a moment to adjust to his size, you wrap your arms around neck and pull him back so he’s meeting your gaze. You take his hands and intertwine them with yours, pinning them behind his head as you begin to ride him, slowly lifting yourself off him before quickly dropping back down. A string of illicit moans and curses falls from Chan’s lips, his hands firmly gripping yours, desperately trying to keep himself from breaking your grasp and taking control. He trails wet kisses down your chest, licking your nipples before taking them into his mouth and rolling them between his teeth, making you whimper and lean into his touch. You pick up for pace, admiring the way his face contorts into different expressions of pleasure as he throws his head back and looks up at you with glassy eyes.

“S-shit babygirl...”

His bout of self control doesn’t last much longer, because the next thing you know, Chan rips his hands from your grip, placing them on your hips as he begins to thrust up into you, meeting your movements halfway, hitting you in just the right spot. He moves a hand from your hips to rub firm circles against your clit, making you cry out in pleasure.

“F-fuck... Chan- oh my god...”

You try your best to continue to ride him, but you feel your thighs getting weaker and weaker with every thrust. You feel the pressure in your core building to the point of complete euphoria, when he lifts you off of him completely. You whine in frustration, feeling your high fade, hating how empty you feel without him buried inside you.

“Don’t worry baby,” Chan chuckles at your protests, suddenly flipping you around and positioning you on all fours on the couch. He places a tender kiss on your shoulder blade, before moving up to nibble your earlobe. “You’ll get to cum soon enough.”

He aligns himself with your entrance and eases into you, the new position allowing him to fill you deeper than before, making you both release illicit moans at the feeling. Chan slowly retracts his rock hard member from you, only to instantly plunge back into you, taking no time to pick up the pace, slamming into you at a rate that’s making you see stars. The momentum of his actions force you forward on the couch, making you cling desperately to the armrest in attempt to stable yourself, praying your shaky legs won’t completely give out underneath him. Suddenly, a sharp slap comes down on your ass, making you cry out and clench around him.

“Fuck... you like that, baby?” He massages where his hand had landed, only to spank your ass once more.

“G-god, yes Chan... p-please... harder.”

You feel another slap, come down on your other cheek, this time much harder, and you can’t help but moan loudly at the feeling, the delicious sting causing your grip around his cock to tighten exponentially. You hear him let out a low groan as his hips begin to slap against yours at a brutal speed, and you feel the knot in your stomach begin to unravel again.

“C-Chan, I’m... I’m close...”

“I know, babygirl, I can feel you.” Chan leans over you and plants rough kisses against your neck. “Go on, Y/N, cum for me.”

With his permission, you come undone around him, your release white hot, hitting you like a train and making your mind go completely blank as he continues to roll his hips into you, helping you ride out your high. Your legs feel useless under you, but thankfully Chan’s firm grip on your hips keeps you from collapsing from exhaustion. His thrusts start to become more and more erratic, desperately chasing his own high, groaning at the feeling of your tight pussy still throbbing around him. You can tell he’s close, and clench around him hard, smirking as you hear a string of curses fall from his lips, his hips rutting and quivering against you as he paints your walls white, and you hum in content at the warm feeling.

Chan slowly pulls out of you and falls back on the couch, gently pulling you so you’re laying on top of him. You leans up and playfully nip at his bottom lip, making him chuckle.

“That was...”

“Amazing,” you giggle, burying your face into his chest.

A comfortable silence falls between you two, and you eyes flutter close as you bask in heat the radiates from his body. He absentmindedly run his fingers lightly up and down your back, placing a soft kiss on the top of your head.

“Did you mean what you said earlier?” He quietly asks, as if he’s hesitant to bring it up again. “Do you want want to belong to me?”

You look up at him, and you swear you can feel your heart expand at the way he’s staring back at you with so much hope and adoration. “I do... god I really do, Chan, but you know we can’t. We barely manage to flirt without getting caught, so this has to be one-time thing-“

“I got offered a job at a different club,” Chan quickly blurts out. “It has better hours, more creative freedom since I wouldn’t be DJing for strippers... If I took it, would it change things?”

“You’d do that? But you love this job.”

“I do, but not gonna lie, I mainly love it because I get to see you.” His comment makes you blush, and you bury your face in his chest again if efforts to keep him from noticing, which only gets you a soft laugh as he gently tips your chin up to face him again.

“Honestly, if it means I can do what we just did with you whenever we wanted, without having to worry about stupid rules or anything, then fuck yeah I’d take another job. The only downside is I won’t be able to watch you dance when I work.” He wiggles his eyebrows at you, laughing when you just roll your eyes at him.

You sit up, positioning yourself so that you’re straddling him once more. “That just means you’ll have to come back here as a guest.”

“Hmmm...” he mumbles as his eyes travel up and down your body, his hands reaching around and lightly squeezing your ass. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to follow the club rules though.”

“Don’t worry about those,” you purr, leaning down and nibbling on his ear, earning a quiet moan from him. “If you become my regular, all the rules are off the table.”

“I like the sound of that.” Chan gently cups your jaw and pulls you into a tender, but passionate kiss.

You smile against him, running your fingers through his hair, before pulling away slightly, your forehead resting against his. “Then I’m yours, Chan.”

“And I’m yours as well,” he whispers, pressing one more kiss to your lips, before wrapping his arms around your waist and lifting you off the couch, earning him a yelp from you. He lays you down on the couch, hovering over you with a mischievous smirk plastered on his face. “What do you say, let me show how I can really treat you in the VIP room?”

#bang chan smut #bang chan imagines #stray kids smut #skz smut #stray kids imagines #skz imagines #stray kids fanfiction #kpop smut #kpop imagines #bang chan #stray kids

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literate-lamb · 3 years

Text

Man of the House | one

Sam Wilson/fem!Reader, future dark!Bucky Barnes/fem!Reader | 18+

Moving day is finally here! Private and public celebrations are in order.

► warnings(!): nudity, non-graphic sex scene, alcohol, slow burn. eventual dubcon/noncon, eventual choking in future chapters. this is a dark fic.

|| Series Masterlist ||

a/n: taglist is open for this series, just hmu with an ask.

𝕄𝕠𝕧𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝔻𝕒𝕪

Boxes and boxes filled the hallway as men in uniforms brought them in, the moving truck parked in front of the house. The stench of sweat invaded your nostrils as you guided the men on which rooms to settle them. Sam was doing his fair share, gathering your more personal boxes upstairs.

It was moving day, finally.

After two weeks of preparing and prepping, you finally took the step into your new home. A day earlier found you busy with cleaning; sweeping and mopping the floors, wiping the windows, and dusting the furniture among others. You even took the time to pick up some ornaments to decorate your new house. The scented candles and key bowl looked great next to the antique lamp.

When all the boxes and furniture were settled, you paid the movers a hefty sum and left them on their way. Now that left you, Sam, and a load of boxes to be unpacked.

“I’ll start with the ones in the kitchen,” Sam said, “And then maybe we can have a quick lunch later.” You nodded, walking towards the parlour.

Seeing the clear windows elated you, free of dust and stains, permitting sunlight which illuminated the room in a warm glow. The velvety feel of the red Chesterfield sofa was satisfying, letting your mind wander to extravagant wine parties.

Riffling for the retractable knife in your pocket, you started slashing through the boxes, uncovering your book collection over the years. One by one, you arranged them on the pine wood bookshelf; a new addition brought from your previous dwelling.

After the boxes were emptied, you stood and admired your work. The parlour would make a great room for reading, you could imagine relaxing with a glass of wine and a good book after a day's work.

Ding dong!

You swerved to face the hallway, startled. The ringing of the doorbell audibly loud, reverberating through the entire house.

“Who is it?” Sam stood in the entryway, coming from the kitchen. You shrugged.

Entering the hallway, Sam opened the door, standing face to face with their visitor. On the other side stood Mr Rogers, his weathered face smiling. He looked pretty dapper for a man standing on your doorstep. In his hand, he seemed to be holding a small box. Of what, you’re unsure.

“Mr Rogers! Nice to see you,�� you greeted. “What brings you here?”

“Hello, dear. Just wanted to drop off some extra keys I had since I don’t really need them,” he said, jiggling them into your hands. “Seems like you have a fella, he’ll probably need it.” Sam laughed, appreciating the humour.

“Sam Wilson, sir,” he introduced himself, offering a hand, “Nice to finally meet the man of the house.”

“Likewise, son,” Mr Rogers shook. He seemed to still for a moment before knocking out of it. “Before I forget, here’s some tea. A housewarming gift, if you will.” He handed you the small box, “It’s chamomile, good for aiding sleep.”

You were humbled by the kind gesture of the elder, thanking him. Before he could leave, Sam invited him in for lunch, “I was about to fix up something quick.”

“It’s okay, son. I have places to be and people to meet today, you two have a good day,” he bid farewell, got in his beetle, waving as he drove away.

“That's a very thoughtful landlord right there,” Sam whistled. You agreed, reminded of how lucky you were, again. Sam closed the door, lulling the house in silence once more. “You hungry, baby?”

“Not yet, really,” you turned to him. “Why?”

“‘Cause I’m currently hungry for something else,” he smirked, mischief swimming in his pools, “How about we christen the place, starting with,” —he startled you, lifting you by the hips— “the kitchen!”

You chortled, as Sam carried you, hands supporting your buttocks, at the same time giving them a squeeze. The cheeky bastard.

Clothes were shed. Hands roamed, mapping every inch of uncovered skin. The exchange of fierce kisses and the battle of tongues left you both frenzied.

Sam settled you on the island countertop. The cold granite chilled you. He marveled at your form, hungry eyes taking in everything; your stiff peaks, your mussed hair, your enticing throat.

“I’m starving baby, let me taste you,” he husked, descending to his knees. Calloused hands pushed your thighs apart, serving you to his greedy eyes. True to his words, like a man starved, he helped himself. He was ravenous.

You cried, moans carrying through the halls, echoing. You had no care for the world.

The both of you continued your escapade, carrying to other parts of the house; unaware to the lone shadow.

Watching your every move.

𝔻𝕒𝕪 𝕆𝕟𝕖

The entirety of yesterday was pure bliss as far as you remembered, waking up in bed to sunlight barely peeking through the glass door. Sam’s hand draped across your hip as he lightly snored behind you.

You sighed, feeling sated. What a way to start the morning.

Lazing for a bit, you admired your new bedroom. The once bare four-poster is now draped in delicate tulle, akin to a large veil. The vanity across the bed looked regal, adding to the opulence. This was by far your favourite room. Besides the parlour, of course.

You gave a kiss to Sam between the brows. Slowly slipping away, you got out of bed. Grabbing your robe, you padded across the hall and headed downstairs.

The house was eerily silent in the mornings. Only the creaking of stairs audible as you descend.

In the wee hours, the little sunlight and heavy curtains casted long shadows on the walls. The furniture in the dark stood, creating the illusion of people, making the parlour seem frightening to the average eye. The hallway seemed long and never-ending, getting darker the further it went.

The look of the house in the dark could have been what considered it so terrifying. The mind does tend to wander when in darkness.

Passing by the hallway, you setted on fixing breakfast in the kitchen. Before you could step a foot further, something faint caught your ears.

Scrrrt. Scrrrt. Scrrrt.

It repeated. Again and again. Like nails on wood.

Scrrrt. Scrrrt. Scrrrt.

You squinted, searching for the source. The low visibility was not helping. Fumbling the wall, you turned on the lights.

Scrrrt. Scrrrt. Scrrrt.

Nothing was in your vicinity, yet the noise never ceased. Using your sense of hearing, you listened, tracing it.

Scrrrt! Scrrrt! Scrrrt!

It became audibly louder and erratic as you neared. Your feet found you under the stairs. In front of the black door.

Scrrrt! Scrrrt! Scrrrt!

Faster and faster. As if a desperate call for help.

Grabbing the nearest object —an umbrella— you gripped it tight. The fear of it being a wild animal overcame you.

Scrrrt! Scrrrt! Scrrrt!

Slowly turning the knob, umbrella at the ready, you pushed the door, expecting to be pounced.

Instead, what greeted you was a white fluffy creature. A cat. The same cat you met weeks ago. Waiting on the steps, as if it were expecting your arrival.

“Now, how did you get in here,” you cooed, squatting. The cat murmured back.

Up and down. Left to right. You tried theorising how the cat came to be in the basement. The door was closed, too heavy for a cat. The small windows were shut tight, only allowing light to pass through. The last one here yesterday was Sam, and he would’ve noticed a cat. Yet, it managed to sneak in. How peculiar.

“What are you doing down here.”

You jumped, startled. Your heart almost gave out. Facing the door, Sam stood on the stairs, crusts still in his eyes.

“You startled me!” you grumbled. He put his palms up, wearing his toothy grin.

“I heard scratching sounds and found this cat,” you explained, “Which by the way, did you see yesterday?”

“I think I would’ve seen if there was a cat, but no,” he replied. “Is the little cutie hungry?” he cooed, in a babying tone.

Unexpected to the both of you, the cat hissed. Eyes turned into slits, fur standing, claws out, like a being possessed. You worried it might attack Sam.

Before you could intervene, it sped off. Zooming between Sam’s legs, and headed upstairs, meowing uncontrollably.

“It’s never done that before,” you mumbled, surprised. “I’ll go let it out.”

You followed upstairs, nearly missing the faint scent.

𝔻𝕒𝕪 𝕋𝕨𝕠

Light chatter permeated the space as guests began filtering into the parlour. Wine glasses in hand, they mingled around, exchanging conversations, with the occasional boisterous laughter. It was a light and cozy setting, with every tummy sated, just catching up with long time friends.

“Okay, can I just say, that despite being a 100 year old monument, this place is actually nice?” Tony starts, “Like when I looked outside it was like something out of the Addam’s Family, but then I went in and wham! It’s like a cute lil’ antique store.”

Perplexed, you really didn’t know how to reply to that. “Err, thank you?”

“Stop it, Tones, that wasn’t a compliment,” Rhodey slapped Tony’s back, “It’s a really nice house, very fancy.”

“The house is lovely, I love the vintage feel of it,” Pepper piped up, shooting Tony a look.

You smiled, “Thank you guys, it’s been a dream to live in a house like this.” Just then, Sam came, curling an arm around your waist.

“And my girl here got it for a steal too,” Sam intervened, jovially. “I’m just the lucky guy who gets to stay over some nights.”

You slapped Sam’s chest as he laughed, the trio joining. You reveled in the warmness of the moment, surrounded by friends. Sharing the start of a new beginning.

Everybody else in this room lived in the city, preferring the closeness to their work. You preferred the same. It’s been a long time since you all got together in the same space. You missed it.

After a few minutes of chatting, you excused yourself. A new bottle of wine and light dessert was needed.

Passing through the dining room enroute to the kitchen, you saw Wanda at the end of the hall. She was standing stock-still, staring downwards. You walked closer.

Stopping next to her, you saw that she was staring down at the entrance of the basement. Unmoving.

“Um, Wanda, is there anything wrong?” you asked, confused.

That seemed to snap her out of her stupor. She looked at you, face impassive before giving a thin smile.

“Oh, it’s nothing,” she said. “Where does that lead to, by the way?”

“That’s the basement,” you replied. “Come on, do you want more wine? Dessert?”

“Dessert sounds nice.”

Arriving into the parlour, you brought out the mini pavlovas with Wanda and set them on the coffee table. The wine bottle was handed off to Sam as he refilled glasses for your guests.

Immediately, everyone began to congregate in the middle to where the sofas were, taking a pavlova and having their refill. Your pavlovas were a favourite among your friends. You even had to swat Scott’s hand from taking more than one at a time.

The chatter turned up again, everyone catching up within the confines of your home. You relaxed beside Sam as he chatted with Vis about football of all things. Vis looked bored, yet was too polite to switch topics.

“So, a little birdie told me that this house is haunted, that true?” you heard Tony as he came to stand beside the sofa, pavlova in hand, “If so, then damn! It really does live up to the Addam’s Family aesthetic it has going on.”

“Tony!” Pepper hissed from across the room, reprimanding him. She turned to you, “I’m so sorry for him.”

“It’s okay, Pep,” and you were, Tony’s just being, well, Tony. “Where did you hear that though? Even I didn’t know at first.” By now, everyone was paying attention to you two.

“Saw it in a blog when I was looking for navigation, apparently they only managed to live here for two weeks,” he said, taking a bite of the sugary confection. “So it is true? Feeling watched? Things disappearing? Ghostly apparitions? Oooh.”

You heard Scott whisper yell, “So we went willingly inside a haunted house? Are we cursed?” in the background. Hope shushed him.

“None so far, the landlord even told me that he had never experienced anything living here. I’d take those blog posts with a grain of salt if I were you,” you said, sipping your glass. “Besides, I don’t really believe in ghosts. Ever heard of infrasounds, Stark?”

Tony smirked, “I expected no less from a woman of science.” He finished the rest of his dessert. “Say, how ‘bout we make a bet? If you can live here past two weeks, i’ll give you $400.”

“Ugh, Tones,” Rhodey grumbled at the back.

“Make it $500 then we’ll have a deal,” you smirked, not backing down.

“$450”

“No, $500.”

“Ugh, fine! $500.” He eye-rolled, holding out his hand. “Let’s shake it.”

“Deal.”

You both shook hands, sealing the deal in front of a live audience that is your friends. 500 dollars, two weeks.

“Why do I feel this won’t go well,” Vis sighed, holding onto Wanda. She nodded absently, eyes locked to a different corner.

#sam wilson x reader #bucky barnes x reader #dark bucky barnes #dark fic #marvel fanfiction #haunted house AU #marvel reader-insert #mystery #horror #bucky barnes fanfiction #sam wilson fanfiction

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why-i-ask · 4 years

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I've been wanting to do things with these prompts for ages but I don't have art skills. So, >-< writing. Big long.

-Star Guardian AU -

It’s the sound of the old school clock striking three that draws Ezreal’s attention away from blankly staring at the pages of an old chemistry book. It’s hard to think of school when you have an alter ego living in a galaxy above saving the world every night. He Exhales and closes the book finding it pointless to pretend any longer.

“Something wrong?” Chipped the soft voice of the pink haired mage besides him.

He flinched he’d almost forgotten he invited Lux to study with him.

“No just, can’t focus.”

“I get that, why don’t we get coffee?”

“This place has a coffee shop?” Ezreal mused, he’d never really looked around outside of their shared accommodation. He wanted to explore the stars not the streets.

“Yea, It’s really cute. Also is hiring-” Lux smiled, tapping his shoulder as she strutted past him.

“I think I’ve got enough work to do.” He rolled his eyes, standing up and tucking the books back into his bag.

Ezreal would be lying if he said Lux was wrong. The place was adorable. A small shop on the corner, with little ivory tables and chairs set about it’s front protected by a brown fence decked in vines, the open sign was a soft lavender, shimmering in the window. As they opened the door, the old chimes range overhead. The inside was an array of pastels, the walls in a soft lemon, with the tables and chairs were in a checked mint. The counter was a baby blue, he stared at the array of cakes in their display trays at one side, as they approached the cashier straighten. He was a young male, perhaps the same age as them working some part time for extra cash. He looked tired though, the dark shades under his eyes even visible with his dark chocolate skin.

“Hey, Can I take your order?”

“Yea- Do you guys still do that amazing strawberry cheesecake?” Lux chimed.

“That was last weeks special, this time is raspberry it rotates every week.”

“Hm, shame. Then just two super choco brownies and a strawberry smoothie for me- What do you want Ez?” She turned to look at him, drawing the cashier’s attention to him as well.

Ezreal bit his lip he hadn’t payed enough attention to the menu; he scrunched his face up in thought, the Cashier rolled his eyes messing with a lose strand of his white hair that had escape the taming of a messy bun.

“Take your time, there’s not a queue yet.” He hummed, “before turning round to the kitchen outlet, “Tal, can you start fix up the order on screen..”

Ezreal sighed, glancing back across the small menu on the desk, his eyes glancing across the sweets. “uhm, Can I have a latte and a caramel slice?”

The cashier smiled slightly, “Sure, got a name for that?”

“uh, Ezreal-”

“Great. You tow paying separately or together?”

“I’m paying,” Lux smiled, “It’s my treat afterall, long day.”

Ezreal was about to protest but lux elbowed him and he decided against it. There wasn’t much point in arguing she could be stubborn she got that from Jinx.

“Your total is 28.50. You can sit down if you like. we’ll bring it to your table. ”

Lux grinned fishing around her purse for a few notes handing them over, before turning and grabbing Ezreal arm, pulling him to one of the corner tables.

“What do you think?” She hummed, nudging the table décor to the side.

“It’s nice..”

“No, I know that- I mean him.”

Ezreal blinked, she was really trying to set him up like that? She really wanted him to move on. “No.”

“C’mon, why not? Star guardian too busy for love? You weren’t to busy to run after me-”

“That was different. I don’t have to keep anything secret from you.”

Lux sighed and shook her head, the spacebuns she had decided to sport seemed to lag in their movements. “Not everything has to be about saving the universe.”

Ezreal huffed, She was right and he didn’t like that. He wanted to pretend it could entirely be about fighting monsters; saving the world being a hero. mysterious, adored. Yet she was right he had a real life too. They were sat in silence for only a few minutes, watching other guests enter, sit down to chat or walk away with a small coffee. Then the server approached, she must’ve also been a part time hire; though she was much more lively than the cashier. Her short brown hair tied in spacebuns almost twinning lux’s current hairstyle, which caused a grin to spread across her face. Her bright chestnut eyes glittered with excitement as she set the tray down on the table.

“Hey, sorry for the wait. Brownies and a strawberry smoothie.” she hummed, setting down the plate and glass before lux.

“Thank you! it’s not a problem!”

“and a caramel slice and coffee for....Asreal?” Her face scrunched slightly as she glanced at the cup to read before placing it down with the plate before Ezreal.

“Thanks-” He hummed, though his attention was drawn to the bad spelling of his name on the cup. He didn’t think it was that hard to spell.

She picked up the empty tray, “Enjoy! If you want anything else feel free to ask!”

“We will, Thank you...Taliyah? I love the hair by the way.” Lux grinned, leaning over slightly to look at the name tag on the waitress’ pastel red uniform.

Taliyah practically glowed at the compliment,

“Next-” It was the fairly loud shout from the Cashier that drew her attention and caused her to hurry back to behind the counter.

Lux giggled picking up a brownie and biting into it. “What about her?”

“Lux! I’m not that pathetic to have a crush on just anyone who’s nice to me!”

She laughed, “of course not~ I’m teasing.”

Ezreal huffed, sipping from the latte. It was bittersweet and hot- perhaps he should’ve specified the sugar addition and waited- He place it back down trying not to wince at the slight burn.

“but I do mean it, you need to get out more. In the real world.”

He sighed, taking a bit from the caramel square. “I know.”

Lux was quick to pick up on the irritation in his tone and turned the conversation swiftly to the subjects of school; English to be precise. some of play by a dead guy Ezreal had since forgotten the name of. She was quite happy to chatter on allowing him brief moments to interrupt with his own thoughts. They remained in the shop for perhaps thirty minutes, the snacks gone and drinks drunk before lux’s finally finished her rant.

“oh my, is that the time? We should head back and meet up with the other’s.”

Ezreal nodded standing up, he piled the plats and cups up before they took their leave.

~~~

It was Saturday evening, sitting board in the longue watching Soraka and lulu playing chess on the old coffee table. When Lux, swung round again, “Hey guys.. before we have our movie night why do we go out?”

“where? Y’know those restaurants are just so pricey and not worth it-”

“What about the cafe?”

“that lil shop on the corner near school?” Lulu tilted her head. “It always smells so nice.”

“Yeah. It’s got pretty good prices.”

So they made the walk off to the corner shop, the dwindling light of the day fading into the sunset as the approached the familiar ivory décor though it was now glowing in a soft umber from the fading light.

They entered the shop to the familiar jingle of the chimes, This time the cashier was their server; Taliyah. Her hair still tied in it’s space buns, She smiled upon seeing them enter.

“Hello! What can i get you today?”

Lulu giggled, standing on her tippy toes to peer over the counter, “a menu if you wouldn’t mind-”

“Ah-” Taliyah quickly picked up the sheet on the counter and handed it to her.

“I’ll have lemon meringue pie, and a J20?” Lux hummed, “never tried the pie before..”

“That sounds great- oh they have apple pies too- I’d like one of those.” Soraka said, glancing back to Ezreal and lulu.

“Uhm, A latte I suppose with just two sugars- and...a chocolate sundae.”

“ooh! Oh! chocolate sundae with waffles!” Lulu piped up placing the menu down.

“Do you have a name for your latte?” Taliyah smiled, stifling a laugh at lulu’s reaction as she tapped it into the register again.

“Uhm, Ezreal- But it’s spell with an E.”

Taliyah shrugged. “Alright...And you’re paying with?”

“Oh i’’ll paying, You guys can just pay me back later makes everything easier.” Soraka said interupting lux’s offer to just pay the whole thing again.

“Thanks roka!”

“Great, your total is 42.69.” Taliyah hummed, “Feel free to sit down and we’ll bring it out...”

Soraka paid and they returned to one of the booths in the side.

“She’s very nice.”

“Yeah, I wonder if she’s the only one on today, He’s not here today- oh what was his name tag?”

Ezreal shrugged, he hadn’t payed too much mind to the cashier beyond how tired he seemed and the jokes lux had made.

“Well their not too busy now so they probably don’t need that many people on.” Lulu grinned, before turning to Soraka and pulling out some playing cards. “go fish?”

“You know you always lose...”

“This time i’ll win! I’ve been practicing!”

Soraka laughed softly and took the cards to deal out, Ezreal declined the offer to play. It was more fun to watch than participate in with the way the two could get aggressive.

A few minutes passed before the counter door swung open and the male from yesterday stepped over carrying a tray brimmed with their order.

“Evening...” He hummed, a slight grin twisting on his face as he set down each of the treats before each of them.

He looked at least somewhat happier than last time, though he still seemed tired, Ezreal wondered why, it couldn’t be that hard. Just sitting in the quiet shop all day serving food. Not even everyday of the week? Maybe with school work a little tough. But it shouldn’t be difficult. He hardly notice the other say his name as he handed him the latte.

“Careful it’s hot.”

“Thanks..” He hummed, forcing a smile as he flicked his gaze down to see the name tag. “...Ekko.”

“Enjoy guys.” The server; Ekko hummed as he turned away, this time his hair wasn’t perfectly in it’s high bun but instead it was tied in a mix between a bun and a ponytail as if done up in a hurry.

“So? Still no?”

He turned back to face lux and scowled. “Come off it..”

“you’re staring though..”

“He looks tired, don’t know what he has to be tired about he’s not the one saving the world-.” He huffed, brushing off the hint she was giving him. He glanced down to his latte and blinked. Ah.

‘Ezreel’ He guess he did say with an E. Another misspelling. He shrugged it off, and moved on to pick up the spoon and take a scoop of ice cream.

Another pleasant night of laughs as lux and Soraka gushed over their favourite movies. Lulu chiming in with her own takes on each film.

Ezreal didn’t though he listened intently his thoughts were more about how he could get them to spell his name right. That and considering if perhaps Ekko had some secret double life of action that could give him a reason to be so tired; though that was more down to his own bias. Once again they left after forty minutes, placing the empty dishes neatly piled together for ease of collecting.

Returning back home in time to find Ahri and jinx had picked the movie for them.

~~~

He returned to the coffee shop a few times over the course of the next few weeks. Sometimes accompanied by Lux or lulu other times alone, Yet every time. Regardless of who was one till, he ordered a latte; he’d catch Ekko stifle a laugh at his order, or drop a smirk as he handed him his drink and with out fail there would be a misspelling; Ezrel, Izreel, Aseraphel, Esral, Ezrela.

He huffed, stubborn and determined as he strolled through the door listening to the chimes ringing once more. He approached the counter, to see the white haired male restocking the display. He glanced up and smiled,

“What can i get you?”

“Usual a Latte...”

“Got a name for it?”

“Ezreal. That’s E-Z-”

“I know.” He laughed waving his hand to dismiss him. “Anything else?”

“uhm- no-”

“Wait a second then-”

He watched the other twirl away to the coffee machine, standing awkwardly as he waited; perhaps trying to distract himself with the décor yet his interest was piqued he never really watched them make it. It seemed to make the other happy, humming- he still looked tired that never seemed to change. Though he was used to it now, maybe it was endearing he’d like to know why but it’d be rude to ask. He must’ve zoned out as the next thing he knew the other was back in front of him.

“That’s 4.99, thanks.”

He nodded, handing over a fiver as he took the coffee

“Careful it’s-..” Hummed the other, passing the change and receipt.

“hot I know, like same.” Ezreal mused, a grin spreading across his lips at the other’s slightly surprised expression.

He recovered quickly and nodded, looking over to the next customer.

Ezreal stepped aside turning to leave he glanced at his drink.

‘Easy.’ Oh haha.

He rolled his eyes fumbling with the receipt when something else caught his eye. on the back of the receipt. He flattened it out, a sequence of digit- and a smiley face-

Weird almost looks like a- Oh. OH.

He paused and glanced back towards the counter, Briefly catching the other’s gaze watching the smirk tug at his lips as he wrote down the next order.

He folded it, placing the number into his pocket. Maybe he’d use it. Maybe he’d get an answer to his question after all. Maybe lux was right all along- Maybe. Just maybe.

#Coffeeshopau #Writingprompts #Starguardian #Ekko #Ezreal #Lux #ezreal x ekko

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phoebehalliwell · 3 years

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So I LOVED your Sheridan and Warren fic!! The two of them are hilarious because that are just trying their best those poor boys! I had a hypothetical, so like in all those AU where Prue is wished alive in I Dream of Phoebe, what would happen in this situation? Would Prue go see her sisters or would she go find her kids? ALSO Prue as the boys magical (deceased) guide is Perf 👌🏻

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA tysm !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love my boys so much i’m really trying to keep them like. like as removed from proper magic as possible bc i just think it’s really fucking funny to just follow two bimbos around as they try their best. i’ve also def like tinkered w canon a lil bit as explained in this post here only to keep them further away from aunts who could explain everything like they don’t even have a whitelighter bc paige was supposed to fill that role really the only person they have is prue who gave them a crash course when she unbound their powers as explained in this post and they will occasionally summon her but even then it’s less for advice and more bc like. they want 2 talk to their mom. and i do think prue will occasionally try to make like guest appearances on their birthday she’d def be a presence kinda like how grams was a presence for the girls if they had a book of shadows prue would do the flipping. but they don’t. she did guide their familiar to them!! the cat’s name is swizzlesticks and yes it is just kit again lmao. But. Ur Question. so basically in w&s’s origins jack raised them post prue death and like he kinda fucked off to japan for the rest of the show (sidenote both warren and sheridan are quasi fluent in japanese like jack the only difference is while jack uses his bilingual talents for business the twins almost exclusively use this ability to multitask while watching anime) so i think piper and phoebe had like Zero contact w their nephews and paige actually has never met them like she didn’t even really know they existed bc deadass just no one mentioned them. so like if prue is wished back to life in i dream of phoebe for starters she’s gonna know chris is piper and leo’s son bc she’s been keeping an ear to the ground and Heavily monitoring this chris situation before she assessed that he was good she spent a lot of time trying to figure out if a ghost should beat the shit out of an alive witch so idk who’s wishing prue alive in this specific au tbh u know what richard’s kinda off the shits this ep he’s probably wish prue back to life to try to prove to paige that she doesn’t have to be a charmed one she can just be paige :) and paige would lose her SHIT bc like oh my god that was not what she wanted and she’s so not ready to meet prue but here she is lmao and chris is freaking out bc now he really knows he’s altered the future in Major ways i think piper would see prue and immediately pass out and while i think prue would really really want to see her kids her first task would definitely be fixing the future and she would entirely dedicate herself to making sure wyatt doesn’t become evil but i think like she would pull chris aside and be like hi in your future where are my kids and chris would be like who? and prue would be like my sons?? warren & sheridan???? and chris would be like what?????? bc this whole time if wyatt was indeed not the eldest son like are you Fucking Kidding Me????? but no he’s never even heard of warren and sheridan bc in the dark future their powers were simply never unbound and they just continued to live as mortals and may or may not be dead depending on how good the witch finder bots are but like. i don’t think even if wyatt knew they existed he would want to find them bc that just draws attention to the fact they existed and he’s not the firstborn of the next gen so either they’re doing fine-ish all things considered or they just like died lowkey. but chris didn’t even was remotely aware of their existence. and i think this would kinda send prue into a bit of a tailspin bc her boys are so far removed from their legacy and their family (and they’re being raised by jack yikes!!) and she’s like no these are my kids but if she wants to get where they are she either needs to book a fight or find a whitelighter so i think this would specifically be a prue/paige adventure which is also nice bc paige is omnilingual and prue does not speak japanese so like. idk cute adventure. probably use some monster from japanese mythology to save either some smallish town or alternately a major city bc both of those r fun. i think if jack saw prue again he would start throwing things at her and stuff bc he’d be convinced this is some demon here to kill his kids just like they killed her bc haha that’s not a recurring nightmare lmao so i think prue would cast the truth spell right then and there to prove she’s really her which also leads to some good comedy and character development bc jack paige and prue are all under a truth spell and there is a lot unsaid between all of these characters with paige’s inferiority complex and prue and jack’s true feelings for each other and issues caused by prue’s death y’know blah blah blah but i think prue would really use this opportunity to bring warren & sheridan back into the fold so to speak and bring them to the manor and properly train them in the craft and tbh in this specific au i think prue and jack would actually end up together. bc in any other world i’m saying they literally just coparent like they’re fond of each other and will always love the other in like some way but it’s not like Love but i think here specifically it’s like. like the time spent apart where jack just like fucking wishes prue was there and realized what an absolute sap and hopeless romantic he is bc yeah he always like grand gestures and clowning around but like. warren and sheridan’s first steps? and jack was just fucking alone like ngl he almost cried bc he just wished. like prue should have been there. she would have been a great mom. she was a great mom. and his kids deserve their mom and like. he just wishes he could have shared that moment with her. completely unbeknownst to jack prue actually does like you know watch over them all and she’s just like. like blown away by jack. like never in a million years would she have thought he was capable of doing what he did. like. like wow man. and i think the combination of those two like actually having them together again and raising their kids i think romance would blossom again. and i think it would be this insane slowburn bc i think y’know like. like it only happened the first time bc jack pursued prue and was like stubborn and stupid and he like knew she was outta his league but it didn’t matter bc that relationship was just for funsies it was a fling it was never meant to be permanent but if jack were to pursue it know it’s be like. permanent. you know? and jack just doesn’t think prue feels the same way like jack’s a fuckin idiot he knows that and prue’s like a witch? like an insanely talented with and a successful photographer back from the dead don’t worry about it lmao and she just like. she takes the world by storm she balances her career and motherhood and saving the motherfucking world like how could she ever. she would never want to be with someone like jack like that’s just. it’s not in the cards. and prue on the other hand keeps waiting for the penny to drop she keeps waiting for like. jack to realize he doesn’t have to be here anymore. she’s convinced he’s gonna hop town and continue being the man she knew while she was alive now that he doesn’t have to keep watching over the kids now that he’s free in a way but that just never happens because jack doesn’t want to leave like those are his kids also he’s in love with prue lmao but she just can’t. she doesn’t get it. men leave. that’s what they do. that’s what they’ve literally always done she can’t like. she can’t open herself up to something serious only to have jack just ditch and leave her kids with the memory of his back walking out the door so she lowkey starts to push him away put her walls up which only furthers jack’s belief that this is never gonna happen but sometimes it’s like they’ll accidentally fall asleep on the couch together in the middle of the afternoon with the sunlight on them and they’ll wake up like Horribly Embarrassed like oh my god which they’re like this isnt weird okay like we have kids together they’re right there like. we have had sex multiples times before piper walking in on up taking a cat nap in the living room is literally it’s nothing!! oh but it so is something meanwhile phoebe the empath is about to lose her Fucking Shit like guys!!! guys!!!!!!!!! and piper’s just trying to reign her in like no don’t interfere bc piper knows prue’s fear of abandonment and she does not know this new iteration of jack she just remembers what he was like and she doesn’t want to see prue get hurt paige is on the opposite side bc she has literally never met any previous iteration of jack or prue and she’s like hello?? they’re in love?? and chris is like hi okay but like. the task at hand? and the girls are like no shh like trying to covertly spy on prue/jack/warren/sheridan/wyatt all playing in the solarium prue’s doing the telekinetic mobile thing again and jack’s expression of wonder is the same as his sons like !!!! and chris is like deadass i do not get it okay evil wyatt tho. but blah blah blah slow burn i think prue and jack would get married like s8. their wedding would replace paige and henry’s bc as mentioned before paige and henry having a wedding esp a wedding that early was like. dumb. but yeah. prue x jack brainrot. i’m mentally ill i love them so much.

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moonsabr · 4 years

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Disney Fever Rant

Let’s be honest with ourselves, the Family Friendly Disney©️™️ Corporation became nothing but another soulless, creatively bankrupt, money hungry business that has a board full of greedy — potentially and allegedly (don’t sue me Disney) potentially criminally so — directors who, according to Abigail Disney allegedly underpay their employees, and only put in any sort “effort” (READ: spending half of their film’s marketing budget buying up opening night seats to make sure that every single one of their films makes $1 Billion dollars because God forbid Disney have a single flop), believed they didn’t need to market Galaxy’s Edge because Chief Executive Asshole Bob “I know we’re having a bad quarter & our PR is in the shitter but imma take a book tour for my autobiography real quick” Iger thought it would market itself (this is the same Disney CEO Bob Iger, by the way, who keeps raising prices because he’s so confident in the brand created, built, and embedded permanently within previous decades of Americana due to the hard work and creative genius of Walt Disney that he believes he can peddle out absolute garbage without consequence. CEO of Disney Lil’ Bitch Bobbie “My salary is 1,000x Greater Than the Average Disney Employees Even Though My Decisions Are Causing a Cutback in Hours and Even Getting People Laid Off” Iger really got his head up his ass because he believes he can say shit insanely out of touch and greedy shit like “[I can’t imagine] a maximum price guests will pay for a ticket to [our] theme parks” and keep hiking up the prices until one day, big surprise, this foolish, smug turd charged too much or didn’t market enough or maybe, people are just not blinded by the now-defunct and decades-long neglected Disney Magic™️ because the man in charge is more focused on a single-minded and extremely concerning-to-artistic-integrity-and-the-very-concepts-of-free-speech-and-fair-trade-and-anti-monopolistic fair business practices of purchasing every potentially lucrative IP known to man in a move so anti-competitive that they were forced by the fucking U.S. Justice Department to sell off some of their news properties — oh, but it’s okay, guys! The extremely hardworking and under-appreciated employees of Disney World will finally be making a baseline amount of $15/hour, so at least those hardworking folks can have the chance of affording a shared apartment less than 40 minutes away from the park! And hey, at least we’ll inevitably get a Summer Blockbuster X-Men trilogy, which I’m sure won’t be a bland and extremely superficial set of films more concerned with entertaining a general audience than preserving the heart of X-Men and why it was created and what it continues to symbolize. Good Ol’ Bobbie Buy-ger’s “Hello, Fellow Children” Disney will absolutely not make a mockery of the integrity with which those contemporaneously radical set of complex and volatile cultural and sociopolitical issues of the 1960′s were addressed via the humanization of both the protagonistic X-Men, who were peaceful advocates for the (then-primarily racially coded) mutants’ integration and equality within a society that is terrified and disgusted by them, in contrast with the slowly developing and unexpected depth of character and humanization of the members of the Brotherhood of Mutants, who are constantly portrayed as an antagonistic but not wholly evil foil to the X-Men as a much more violent group of radicals with a more extreme and militant approach to gaining mutant’s rights (coded heavily at the time, of course, as the Black Panther Movement) which fought for an apartheid with a zealous “Mutant’s First” slogan, believing themselves superior to humans without the X-Gene. And because of the appropriately addressed and carefully handled themes, mutants occasionally even switched sides because after all, they were all fighting for mutant rights. Baring in mind the intricacies and mature themes of X-Men and the MCU’s masterfully sophisticated and tactfully manifold take on sexism which can be succinctly summarized as “WOMAN GOOD; MAN BAD” (which strikes me as particularly unusual narrative composition to frame the villain, who has assaulted a stranger and stolen his property because he gave her a cheesy pickup line that wasn’t particularly sexual or intimidating, as the hero of the story — clearly, if the Disney MCU is willing to create such an experimental piece of avant-garde cinema verité wherein the reality of a cruel, spiteful, and sadistic person is constantly thrust into the spotlight and incessantly touted as a heroic figure is put on display. None of this would have been possible, however, without a courageously flawless and unconventional choice to hire Brie Larson via the application of typage casting, allowing Boden and Fleck to shine a b l a c k m i r r o r , if you will allow me to be so edgy and bold as to use such a trite phrase in this post Netflix world, on our own flawed society, they will be capable of producing a mere three trivial films on something so relatively simplistic as translating the extremely volatile and divided zeitgeist of race relations in the height of the civil rights movement into a modern, appropriate, and respectful piece of representative fiction.

I’m sure Disney CEO Bob “Galaxy’s Edge Only Severely Underperformed Because People Were Worried There Would Be Too Many People There and This Has Nothing to Do With the Fact that I Thought My Dick Was Bigger Than It Actually Is and So I Thought I Could Get Away Without Marketing it Whatsoever Until Like 3 Months Before it Opened in Disneyland Because I Realized (but will never, ever admit) that I Fucked Up After they Low Crowds in Disney World and Over-Estimated the Current Value Of the Star Wars Brand After Green-Lighting A Film Wherein All the Original Characters Left Were Bastardized and Shat On So Now Everyone Who Wants to Watch TV Will Have A 35% Chance of Being Assaulted By Our Incessant Ads for this Bullshit Because I Bought a Bunch of Shit with No Creative Vision in Mind and Am So Incompetent and Think So Lowly of My Own Customer Base that I Signed Off on a Plan for This Park that Didn’t Include Most of the ‘Immersive Experience’ as Advertised Because I Truly Believe Most Consumers are So Stupid That They Will not Notice or Care that They’ve Paid ~$400-$500 per Person to Get Access to a Glorified Shopping Mall with Extremely Overpriced Toys that You Can’t Even Use within Park Grounds” Iger will make sure these concepts are addressed via internal, philosophical dilemmas such as “What level of respect do we owe to our oppressors?” and “How much humanity should we offer to those who don’t offer us the same courtesy in return?” that were written and drawn by a couple of Jewish WWII-Veterans who had fought violently on enemy soil for their right to live and be seen as human and were, twenty years later, observing an uprising against a disturbingly similar “Separate but Equal” system that was reminiscent of the insidious and dehumanizing relegation of German Jewish communities into ghettos implemented early during the Nazi regime. I’m just feeling so fucking positive about this Fox acquisition guys, because I’m just so sure somebody whose very goal is to buy up all his competition and suppress even the most constructive of criticism is truly concerned about honestly and properly representing a title with so many counter-cultural and anti-establishmentarian ideals that aren’t already commonly accepted in today’s political climate, right? At least we get the X-Men in the MCU, right gamers?!?!?!?!!!!!!

Regardless of how you feel about Disney, you can’t deny that the company’s board atm is entirely creatively bankrupt and out of touch. For god’s sake, they created a hyper-realistic CGI remake of The Lion King that perfectly represents the state of the Disney Corporation today: bland, boring, forgettable, and completely lacking in any sort of creative vision.

#i wrote this after being awake for 20 hours with a 100.1 degree fever #i have not edited it such that you too may enjoy its insane ramblings #lets be honest #bob iger is dead and i killed him #idk how to even tag this #marv*l #mcpoo #i actually dont hate the mcu #just disney #d*sney #bob i pooped my pants iger #bitch iger #fever rant #not art #not writing #sabr rants #sick sabr rants #the official roast of bob iger #unedited for your viewing pleasure/horror

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saigeboredeaux-blog · 5 years

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( cisfemale ) haven’t seen NAEVA BARABESI around in a while. the NAOMI SCOTT lookalike has been known to be (+) STEADFAST & (+) JUDICIOUS, but SHE can also be (-) CHARY & (-) DETACHED. The 21 year old is a JUNIOR majoring in ANTHROPOLOGY. I believe they’re living in POTENTAS but I popped by earlier and no one answered the door. ( james! 20. EST. she/they. )

hello hello ! i’m james and this is my baby naeva !! she’s an oldie but also ... a new..ie ?? let’s just say it’s been a hot minute since i’ve awoken her ! i’ll probably pick up another muse at some point b/c that’s Who I Am and it was already a struggle figuring out who to bring in first so jskjdflg (except ik who i’d bring in for my second muse :~) ) anyways !! let’s get right into it !

TW: implications of illness.

a e s t h e t i c s

black a-line dresses and black oxford shoes and their light tapping against polished floors, parental expectations and eyerolls beginning lectures, sunglasses under fluorescent lights and the same old tired excuses. driving drunk friends so there’s a reason to say no, laughing off backhanded remarks and clinking of glasses, that old vintage watch that no longer functions but the presence brings a comfort like no other. tossing and turning and waking up and falling asleep--vicious cycles in a battle between dreams and reality. knowledge, and the ever-ending thirst to learn more--love for the surrounding world and an undying will to live. noses in books and the peaking gazes from underneath so, curiosity peaking and a longing to feel alright in one’s skin.

general info !!

full name: naeva ornella barabesi

nickname(s): to be determined t b h

b.o.d. - september 1st, 21 yrs old, virgo

label(s): the facade, the pastiche, the prevaricator, the salubrious

height: 5′6″

hometown: lecce, italy

sexuality: brave of u to assume naeva even know

her stats can be found HERE

and her pinterest can be found HERE !!

biography !!

to those her parents boast to, naeva is a miracle child by all means. guests told that she was born perfect--silent out the womb, easy as day to care for after years of trying for child with no avail; an angel taking vessel in their baby daughter. she is born to liars.

born to old money invested in hedge funds and the vice president of an international bank, surrounded by old buildings of exquisite architectural design--the barabesi family lived lavishly. this is not a lie. their mansions and sports cars and boastful superiority is all, undoubtedly real.

a child born with ailments to last her lifetime is a precious miracle who needs to stay quiet when mommy and daddy are bragging to their guests.

being oh so fragile only meant a lack of socialization except for when it’s convenient--the endless faces of specialists, or tutors, or her parents’ friends.

they love their daughter, yes, but after years and years of building perfect empires and fitting the mold they’ve so desperately tried to label themselves--god be damned if little naeva wasn’t their golden star right from the moment she was born.

born and, for a short time, living in lecce, italy--the barabesi family soon moved to the states in pursue of the best of the best doctors. specifically, cold spring, new york.

small enough to go undisturbed, the young girl spent her time learning and learning; whether it were numbers or vague history or what to take on what days and how to turn a cough into a smile.

and being treated as far too fragile--too delicate, as if she could shatter if you so dared look at her for too long.

eventually, the vicious cycle shifted to a life manageable. though still feeling as if she walked on eggshells, naeva could attend elementary school.

sure, it was stressful--but god, it was her life; she was not a burden, no matter the circumstance and no matter what ailed her.

years passed as naeva juggled the golden child act--attending school, her parents’ little parties, her after school lessons, endless doctor appointments--a blur, in all honesty. a near comfortable routine.

it wasn’t until naeva was in high school that she got a little, well, restless

routine is good, yes--but she was a girl who wanted to live a life where she didn’t have to worry about her health.

it were small things at first, skipping class to read in the library (how very rebellious, wow) and staying out of her house as much as possible without raising suspicions--whether it was stopping at the convenience store after violin or purposely hitting as many red lights as possible.

though naeva seemed to spiral her senior year, really, that’s when it became an issue.

unraveling quickly for reasons she really couldn’t fathom, she felt as if she wasn’t living enough.

going to parties instead of the library, committing vandalism with newly acquired friends, ignoring all the don’ts that came with being her and getting just. absolutely plastered.

it was at one of these parties, a college party nonetheless--where naeva met tatiana samuels.

the girl fascinated an impressionable naeva in a way she didn’t understand--it grew into a friendship, and for the rest of the year; if tatiana was at a party, so was naeva.

but of course--reality got to the best of naeva and when her health crumbled, she withdrew. canceled her bad girl subscription; practically swore it off.

it hadn’t helped that the entire situation had thoroughly freaked out her parents, and suddenly, naeva was six again. back to the basics. this time, however, naeva thought that just maybe, it was for the best.

her parents practically forced her to attend lockwood (not that she really minded) in order to keep her close to home--even so, naeva is living as independently as she can.

personality

it’s sort of easy to mistake naeva for a very serious kinda woman; y’know, no laughs or jokes or inappropriate behavior.

it’s the air around her, really; cool, calm, and collected; aloof yet confident, eyes so dark y’can’t tell if they’re judging or commending you. always seen with a yeti in hand, undoubtedly filled with decaf coffee--booties and tights and tasteful blazers. she’s your fourth grade substitute teacher that wouldn’t let you talk during free time.

but well, it’s a mistake.

she’s responsible and rational and work-oriented but god, does she value humor and amusement and all the good little things in life.

maybe she’s not the funniest person around, but she’ll attempt banter with you--and if you’re passionate about something she’ll hear you out; hell, she’ll support your excitement, maybe even share some of her own passions. naeva is constantly amused, even if her mouth’s set in a hard line.

she studies anthropology because of her love for human life and culture; her minor’s in sociology for god’s sake. naeva loves life, loves liveliness, loves people who feel intensely--naeva’s got a lot of love in her.

it’s a shame she’s so afraid to let people in.

don’t get it wrong--she’ll cozy right up to you but...is she really? or is she just letting you see what she wants you to see? it pains her, as somebody who feels so much, to act so...distant? she by no means gives off a cold air, but she’s the kind of gal you know without really knowing.

god, naeva is so scared. it hurts, sometimes, how scared shitless she is--the events happening in lockwood, secrets being revealed--the possibility that hers will be one day out in the opened without her consent. she just wants to live her life. she really, really, just wants to live.

‘course, she keeps it very very contained. her friends must not know how goddamn stressed she is, at all times of the day--the woman hates pity. she’s been pitied since birth. she wants no more of it.

it’s precisely why she keeps her medical history so hidden. she isn’t ashamed of her life, no, she’s alive and that’s what matters--but the pity. imagined or not--the thought of it is unbearable. maybe it’s silly, maybe a little too irrational for a girl considered so...rational, but, she can’t help it.

it’s not anybody’s business anyway--she tells herself, at least--

it’s led to her lying a lot--unnecessary, but she panics often--when she disappears from school for an extended amount of time, it’s because of family drama or events or public appearances or whatnot.

which, sometimes really gets to her--she’s supposed to be dependable, reliable, trustworthy--goddammit, and she can’t even do that. she’s just a girl with a lot of excuses up her sleeve and one day she’s going to run out.

don’t get her wrong though ! she’s not a passive person, y’know, just because she can be quiet and distant. if she sees an injustice she will speak out about it--she’s got a lot of opinions, and is pretty much ready to attack you with words.

tl;dr - kind and a Pal whilst keeping a distance--always stressed but [laugh track] you’ll never know. she’s also a big nerd when it comes to cultures and just. learning in general. loves history and sociology and anthropology and all that. like...a mom friend? very responsible, will be the designated driver Always and take care of you, it’s just...you only really know what she wants you to know, and she’s a lil bit of a liar. Big Smart, is always amused. not as serious as you’d think.

OH! and she’s very noncommittal in the relationship-sense. like...she’s probably dated around a little bit but the longer it lasts the more tense she gets and more often than not she breaks things off.

disclaimer!

illnesses can be a very sensitive topic and i promise i’m not being vague about it without reason: i’ll be going into it for a task. i’m always cautious on how i portray it, so please let me know when and where i can better myself if something feels off ! the last thing i want to do is come off as inaccurate.

i also was going to do a fun fact/headcanon section but my brain? big dumb and i literally forgot everything i wanted to write so lmao. one of these days, expect a lil headcanons thing. but for now ...

OH! here’s a fun fact! she’s rich as FUCK. that is all, good day.

wanted connections

god give me everything

like i’m really up for anything.

give her a best friend! somebody who really truly knows her

or somebody who Thinks they really know her tehehehfgjfghj

let her mom friend others! be the parental figure in this relationship!

fake friends b/c she’s got money.

study buddies!

people she tutors!

somebody who lets her be a lil’ wild, loosen up.

on the other end: let her keep somebody rooted! a good influence.

ex partners! on good or bad terms??

hook ups! one night stands! fwbs!

ex-hookups ! one night stands that lead to awkward encounters

a thorn in her side, an absolute Annoyance.

on the other hand, let me use naeva to badger your characters. let Her be the annoyance.

enemies? for whatever reason ??

on-and-off-agains!

will they won’t they?

ex-friends! ex-friends trying to fix their friendship!

tense relationships!

oh, your mail keeps getting mixed with mine ?? wth ?? we don’t even have similar names ??

conspiracy theory buds!

STOP running INTO ME on ur morning JOGS u PRICK i’m trying to WALK HERE

purposely stealing the last like...breakfast sandwich in the food court just to be that asshole

bickering. just lots of bickering.

somebody who is just suspicious of naeva’s lil lies n is like HMM and she’s like OH NO U DON’T

somebody she rly wants to be close with but just :) refuses :)

anything unrequited. anything one-sided. love or hate or platonic idc i want it all.

pls n thank.

like this n i’ll msg you of course !!

#water:intro #illness tw #cancer tw #it's not really but just in case!#pls love me and her #it took me...a while to write this

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lil-mutie · 6 years

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I wrote?

It bout Caboose?

It’s absolutely absurd

Warnings include:

Vague creepiness, blood mention, bad writing, alcohol mention, insults, dramaticness

It had only been a few weeks since “the sweet, little, helpful, innocent, wouldn’t-hurt-a-fly, red caboose had returned to the surprisingly unwelcoming crowd of the Apollo Victoria Trainyard. It was as if as soon as he had entered, a giant monster had appeared. A giant monster who wore the flesh of his victims, a gigantic monster who was absolutely crazy...psychotic even. Someone who had betrayed everyone’s trust by doing something soooo dastardly....Caboose sighed, who was he kidding. That’s what everyone was thinking at that moment... with the exception of the “giant” thing...

There were faces of anger, terror or discomfort surrounding him as he had quietly trudged in going no where but the direction of the freight yard then veering off into the small silent corridors that surrounded a lot of the yard, like secret passageways but also a free for all dumping site of nuts and bolts and bottles and other useless junk. Somewhere he always silently joked Rusty would feel right at home.

Eyes were always watching every move the caboose would make, conversations would stop as he passed and whispers would arise. Even so he still heard everything, all the troubles that people were having or the engines or coaches were battling with no matter how stupid they were to him. One day it could be Gook gruffly muttering rubbish about how he swore some chic had winked at him and how they hit it off right away blah blah blah. The next day it could be Pearl being indecisive about WHICH PINK LIPSTICK TO WEAR OUT OF HER COLLECTION OF TWENTY DIFFERENT SHADES OF THE SAME BLOODY COLOUR. She truely drove him around the bend that girl. With her snide remarks about himself and the way she just had darling ickle Rusty wrapped around her cute little pinky. Man how he would just love to break that little pinky off or even better her whole arm off.

It had taken up to a week to finally get Poppa to give in and give him a shed which was the farthest from anyone else’s for the good reason that it was still full of bits and pieces from whatever stinking cattle car that had lived in there and what smelt like died in there. After a good few days of moving, ventilating, sleeping outside and wearing a peg over his nose in the process, he was in his new little abode for one and one only.

‘A party’ it said ‘for the new world champion who has surprised all!’ Caboose grimaced, ‘Apollo Victoria invites all it’s members to attend. Non-formal. 6pm sharp in the Freight hall. Can’t wait to see you there!’

“Can’t wait to see you there!” He read out in a purposefully obnoxious way again. “Yeah like they’d like me to show my sweet lil face.” He rolled his eyes, ripping the invitation up slow enough to let the sound soak in and to then watch as it floated down to the ground before his wheels and stare at it and sigh. “My innocent lil face.” CB cooed as he posed with his hands cupping his deadpanned face as he stared off into the distance.

Caboose rubbed his face hoping it would wake him up just that little bit more that morning. He was only half dressed with his multiple layers on but still lacking his gloves, belt and hat. Things essential to his uniform. “Stupid lil Caboose.” He pouted as he stretched his arms high into the air and groaned. “Like anyone would want you there” he chuckled as he tilted his head back to see an unexpected, smug looking electric just casually leaning against his shed. His smile snapped to a look of irritation as he flew around to look at the engine who could’ve been standing their for ages for all he knew. “Well what is it you big, blue, brainless buffoon?”

Electra hummed softly as he looked the brake van up and down with a small smirk resting on his lips.

“Hello? CB to Electra, I repeat, CB to Electra, do you copy?” Caboose said waving a hand in front of Electra’s face. The electric merely glanced up with an ever growing grin before turning around and taking off leaving the caboose hanging onto his words and confusion for a bit longer before he muttered “Creep.” under his breath and returned to insides of his shed.

The days seemed to flow much differently after that. He would go out for chores and others would silently help him with a smile. And by Thursday someone had actually manned up to talk to him. Well Dustin was a sort of pushed forwards as a sacrificial lamb to greet CB with a simple “Hello!”

“......”

“C-Caboose?”

He found himself frozen to the spot, eyes wide just staring at the hopper whilst clutching onto his box of bolts for Poppa.

“Um Caboose?” He repeated

“...Hi?” He raised an eyebrow and gave some sort of awkward half smile.

The big hopper giggled and smiled back gently “I’m-I’m glad you’re back in... in one piece.”

“Oh heh, yeah well I was planning on coming back as a mangled carcass but they uh wouldn’t let me for some reason. Apparently healthcare is a thing.” He replied with an odd feeling washing over him as the other freight hummed in amused chuckled and snorts. “You feelin’ any better?” Flat-Top asked in a somewhat more concerned tone that what you could expect from the brick truck. “I’m alive ain’t I?” CB tilted his head and smiled more genuinely. Flat-Top tried to smile before his face fell “Yeah but like... you gave us all quite a scare when y’came out looking all.. y’know. And uh Poppa still doesn’t trust you.”

“Like at all.” Rocky 1 piped in.

“He thinks you’re crazy.” Rocky 2 added as 3 and 4 barged in to have their say too.

“He warned us about you!”

“Says you’ll smash us, just like you smashed Rusty!” Rocky 4 was instantly hushed after.

Caboose looked at him, then his brothers, then the rest of the freight. All faces he thought he knew. “And do you believe him?” He asked after the strange silence had lasted between them all for over a minute.

“Caboose.”

The brake van zipped around at the call of his name to face the old steamer just watching him from a distance. CB swallowed thickly and opened his mouth hoping he would make a joke or break the tension but nothing.

“Back to work now.”

He nodded sharply and stared down at the bolts in his arms and scooted off. As he was leaving he heard old McCoy ask the freight if they were okay, “Did he hurt any of you?” He heard and looked over his shoulder in disbelief as Poppa lifted up Rocky 3’s arm to inspect it. The freight shook their heads with quiet mumbling. Poppa looked at CB hard enough to get him back on his way down the freightyard to find ‘Storage.’

“The sheer audacity.” The blue eyed Caboose growled with his eyes glowing brighter and becoming paler as he thought over the scene again. He reached ‘Storage’, opened the door with a face of disgust as he angrily threw the box in, not even bothering to shut the door as he stormed off to the sound of bolts clanging and clashing against the floor and spilling out everywhere.

The party was the following night and the physically defeated CB was tucked up in a cosy corner with a book. A book Ashley had slipped under his door to him. He knew it was Ashley as the book about some cheesy vampiric love story set in the 1800s. So you could tell, it was from Ashley. The book was accompanied by some freshly baked cookies, from Dinah, which were decorated in orange icing flowers, most likely from Buffy and finally a collection of pink flowers from someone so annoying Hello Kitty said goodbye to them, someone shallower than a dry seabed, someone who wasn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer. Pearl. At least that’s what he thought of her anyway.

The flowers had come with a note reading ‘I found these flowers and they reminded me of you and your bright red cheeks and beautiful smile!’ With a smiley face at the end and a love heart. CB had briefly spoke his own response to the note “Aw Pearly, your face reminds me of a flower too!” He threw the flowers in the bin “A cauliflower.”

When would she learn?

After a good hour of tunes blasting at top volume in the distance a knock came from his door. He didn’t move. Because why would he? The knocking came again and yet again he stayed still shoving the fourth cookie into his mouth. When suddenly the door burst open and in fell a drunk Electra throwing himself to the floor making Caboose jump in such a fright he started to choke on his tasty turned backstabbing choc chip cookie.

“Booooooooooseyyyyy” came a long, desperate, drawn out whine as the electric brushed himself off. He looked over with a stupid grin and noticed the red caboose hacking up like a cat, fist pounding against his stomach as he spluttered and coughed, caving over onto the carpet to spit into his hand and to then look sadly down at the piece of cookie.

Electra tilted his head and loudly inhaled again “Booooooooooooos-“

“WHAT?” he yelled looking up at the unwanted figure.

Electra swayed a little and pouted his lips making a kissy sound. “Bo-“

“Sit down you drunk dipstick. Do you think you can barge in just like that? To somewhere where you’re not welcome” he pulled himself up and started to clean the mess.

“I thought I was welcome here?” He flopped down across the couch dramatically.

Caboose looked at him as if he had six eyes

“Electra you’re as welcome as a hedgehog in a condom factory.”

It took Electra approximately 10 seconds to process what was just said to him. “Well that’s not a very nice thing to say to a guest.”

“This is my shed not a restaurant.” The red caboose replied “You are stupid Electra.” He muttered

“I’m not stupid!”

“Hm?

“You just said I was stupid!” He sat up and snarled

“I didn’t say you were stupid. I said you ARE stupid. There’s nothing past tense about it Leccy.” CB retorted with a laugh

“I’m not as stupid as you!” Electra dragged himself up from the chair and swung an arm at the short little rebel.

“If you’re going to be a smartarse about it then you have to be smart. Otherwise you’re just an arse, dear.” Caboose cackled as he ducked the drunken attempt of an attack. Electra crackled with anger as he tried to move forward but slipped and falling again, taking CB with him and winding the small freight vehicle. The muscular engine lifted his head up a little as it rocked up and down before clambering up with the support of the chair closest. The electric groaned and slowly moved to the mirror to check his hair and makeup were still perfect. “Ugh. I need some fresh air, my head is spinning.” He whined

The dazed CB sat up and followed the drunkard out into the alleyway outside where the cool night breeze flowed and the moon shown brightly in the clear sky. When he looked back at the e-lok yet again he was up against a fall just... staring. “What?” He sighed. Electra just pushed out his chest. “Why do you keep doing that? Is it a glitch? You just keep staring at me. Like a... a weirdo.”

Electra grinned and shrugged “It's ‘cause your... pretty.”

“You’re just squiffy Electra.” Caboose rolled his eyes having hoped for an answer that sounded more truthful that that. He came closer to wipe the crumbs and dust of Electra.

“You’re reaaaally pretty.”

“Uh-huh. How nice.”

“Like almost as pretty as... me.” He smiled happily and nodded at the thought of supposedly himself. “Why didn’t you come to the party?”

CB didn’t even look up as he responded, “I would rather stick needles in my eyes... Or your eyes.”

“Not even a little dance Boosey?”

“I really want to, but the voices tell me i shouldn’t. Also stop calling me that.

“Aw come on.”

“The short answer is no. The long answer is noooooooooooooooooo.”

“You’re such a bore. An absolute B. O. R. E.” Electra said looking him in the eyes. The brake van didn’t respond and just stared back emptily.

“If I’m a bore it seems you’re Dinah.” He raised an eyebrow. “I’m not going because I can’t. Simple as that.”

“What have you got to be up early tomorrow to check the alphabet is still in order?” The electric smirked and rested his hands on the freight truck.

“Hands off.”

“No.”

He continued to bring a hand up to stroke Caboose’s cheek and twirl a small ringlet of ginger around his finger.

“Please stop.”

“What you scared of me?”

“No. Just... disturbed.”

The engine just laughed being to drunk to care how toughly he was gripping the smaller train.

“Sure.” Were his last words before he closed his eyes and began travelling his lips closer to CB’s. The brake truck became quickly startled and threw a punch at Electra’s cheek in a blind panic and a quick screech and a half.

Electra let go and fell to the rough ground below in outrage, shock, and pain. Instead of tasting delicious sin he was tasting... “Blood? Is this-... Uh-... UH-... OW.. OH MY..” the naturally intimidating electric now sat on the ground fanning his face as he gasped and whined. He turned to Caboose “WHAT WAS THAT F-FAH?”

“YOU TRIED TO KISS ME!”

“SAH?”

“SO? I SAID NO AND YOU APPARENTLY DONT KNOW WHAT NO MEANS!” He giggled nervously looking at the pathetic engine beside him. After a few moments he started genuinely cracking up and backing away from Electra to just watch the electric colossal of fame start to tear up like a baby.

“GAH WRAHN!” He yelled

“I can’t sorry. I need to get up early to check the alphabet is still in order.” He snickered

“HOW AM I GAHNA GET HAR?”

“Crawl baby, crawl. GO ON!” CB doubled over in laughter as the engine started to get up and stagger away in fright and confusion at the blood leaking from his mouth. He watched until he turned the corner and wiped the tears from his eyes. Caboose returned to his lowly shed soon after to rest from a good days work.

It wasn’t until early next morning when he was violently shaken awake by a high energy dining car. “What?! What?” He rubbed his eyes and trying to focus his eyes as he was dropped onto the bed again.

“I BOUGHT YOU SOME DRINKS!” yelled Dinah. Was she... He checked the clock. 2:53AM. Yep Dinah was absolutely hammered.

“Stop shouting.” Caboose whispered softly and took the six pack from her hands to put them on the table to look up to see Rusty sniggering at the half awake and bed head looking caboose he had ever seen. “Why’s Rusty here?” How on earth was Rusty drunk too? And he looked so normal? Well normal compared to Dinah who would be absolutely pink in the face with her nostrils flared as she would take on any engine for an arm wrestle or two.

“Rusty’s my FRIEND!” She giggled and beckoned him over to which he responded by also making himself perfectly comfortable on the brake truck’s bed with a silly little smile.

“He IS? WOW DINAH YOU HAVE FRIENDS?” Caboose shouted back sarcastically giving her a sour look.

“YESH!” She said proudly and hugged the steamer tightly.

“Why are you here Dinah?” He sighed

“We thought you were lonely so we decided we would sleep with you!” Rusty giggled and smiled back

Caboose rubbed his eyes quickly “I BEG YOUR PARDON?” Not expecting to EVER in a million LIGHTYEARS to hear such words come out of the pure little steam engine.

Dinah elbowed him “You haven’t a choice I’m ‘fraid.” She said as she wiggled her beside him in the single bed. She then reached for Rusty and pulled him closer and then somehow the caboose found himself with a dining car hugging him from the side and a precious little steamer lying on top of him. As soon as they were settled they almost instantly fell asleep. Caboose had barely spoken a word from being in a state of shock for the past twenty minutes or so.

Poppa was gonna kill him.

Oh well.

#i started writing and didn’t stop #i shouldve

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kwonhozhi · 7 years

Text

We Could Be Gigantic

for @padfootdidntdoit , whomst i would be lost without

word count: 4700

part i | AO3 | spotify playlist

November

When the kettle begins boiling in earnest, it drowns out the ticking of that awful clock that Sirius found in a train station, or at the bottom of the Thames, or in nineteen fifty-two. He installed it so far up the wall behind the fridge that Lily hasn’t a hope of reaching it unless she somehow manages to grow an extra three feet, and it drives her mad (especially considering he’s only eight inches taller than her). The point of this is that Lily spends as much time as possible per day boiling the kettle. Lately, her rate of tea consumption is just about levelling James’, which is – well, she sent him a crate of real tea last week so it must be just about time to post him another one.

The clock isn’t even on the right time, which is probably the worst part. Actually, no, the fact that Lily has started automatically adding an hour and six minutes on in her head is probably the worst part.

(She was at work last week when her co-worker Dorcas had asked the time and Lily had told her it was four fifty. Needless to say, their boss had not been pleased to discover Dorcas in the staff room packing up her things an hour before the end of her shift.)

Lily looks at the clock, and it reads two forty-five, which means that in nine minutes’ time, James will be seated in front of his laptop, ready to receive an incoming video call from her. She plugs her own computer into its charger, and waits for it to turn on (too slowly), and then she logs in to Skype.

“Heating’s broken,” she says, the second he picks up the call.

He grins back at her, pixelated and slow, and she tugs on the chain of her necklace. Anxiety tell. “Hello to you, too.”

“This is serious!”

“No,” he says, and he must push his laptop around, because she gets a sweeping look at most of his loft, “this is Sirius.” The man in question freezes with a cup of tea pressed to his lips, and flips her off.

(He might be flipping James off).

She says, “I’m hanging up,” and that’s that.

It takes him 4 minutes and thirty-three seconds to cave and call her back. “Heating still broken?” he asks.

“Yes. London is going to kill me.”

“London can try,” he laughs. “I’ll get someone to come round and have a look at it. Oi Siri,” he calls, looking over the top of the camera, “d’you think I can get your brother to go round ours for free?”

“No,” Sirius shouts back. “He’ll nick whatever booze is in the house.”

James rolls his eyes, and then he’s tapping away at his phone, and without looking up, “There’s a fur coat in the top of the guest bed cupboard, if you’re that cold.”

“I am,” she says, and goes and gets it.

“Regulus says fuck off, which I think means he’s coming over this evening,” he tells her when she plonks back into the desk chair. “I told him you’re going to freeze to death and he just sent back a knife emoji.”

“Aw,” she says, “he does care,” and they both laugh at that. “What have you been up to?”

“You know, this and that – being young and beautiful in a major world city. You know how it is.” He starts listing off on his fingers. “We finally went to that museum and took Gossip Girl pictures on Thursday, which Sirius pretends wasn’t his idea but definitely was. What else? He almost lost it in a Starbucks, again.”

“Still hasn’t found a good order, then?”

“I don’t get it! It’s not like we don’t have Starbucks at home!”

“What’s there to get? It’s an opportunity to be dramatic, Sirius is going to jump right on it.”

“It feels so nice to be known!” shouts Sirius, and Lily wishes desperately she was there with them right then.

“Shut up,” James sings. “Wait – fuck, oh my god, he’s just lit the sink on fire, I’ll call you back – Sirius!”

The screen goes black, and Lily taps her fingernails on the keyboard. He’s not going to call her back, they both know that. A millisecond, and the loneliness settles in.

Regulus shows up at 11pm which shouldn’t surprise Lily from what she knows about him, but does anyway. He actually has like, a tool belt, slung low, low on his hips, and a leather jacket, just in case she couldn’t figure out he was related to Sirius by his face.

“Hey,” he says.

“Hey,” she says, “Batman.”

“Ha.”

“Do you know where the heater is?”

“Yep.”

“Alright then.” She steps aside for him to enter, and goes back to the kitchen. “Do you want a tea?” she calls.

“Yep,” he says again, and she puts on the kettle. She pours the water, checks in on Regulus, and then she puts The King and I back on.

“Hey, so that’s totally fucked,” Regulus says, “and I have no idea how to fix it but I can probably get a guy in mayb— areyouwatchingTheKingandI?”

“Seems that way.”

Regulus vaults the couch to land beside her, and puts his feet up on the coffee table. “Love this film.”

It takes eleven minutes and forty-one seconds for realisation to hit her. She points at the screen. “Yul Brynner.” Points at him. “Reg-yul-us.” The screen. “Yul.” Him. “Yul.”

“Hmm,” he says.

When they swap phone numbers so he can consult her about a real handyman, she saves his contact info as Yul with a knife emoji, and he gives her what must just about count as a smile, for Regulus Black.

He says, “I’ll text you,” and, with half a bottle of tequila that Lily was unaware was even in the flat tucked under his arm, he leaves.

December

“Lil,” Dorcas says, poking her head out from the back room, “phone’s for you.” Lily hadn’t heard it ring, but she carefully folds the ribbon she’d been measuring, and puts it in her apron pocket.

She takes the phone, and she says, “U-huh?” as she puts the receiver up to her ear.

“Finally,” says Petunia, and it sets Lily on edge in less than a heartbeat. “Do you even have your phone on? I’ve been trying to reach you for twenty-five minutes.”

“I don’t know how to put this politely, Petunia, but obviously I’m at work.”

“I know, I had to get the number off Mum. This has been hugely inconvenient for me, you know.”

“What do you want?” Lily asks, trying to suppress her exasperation, and judging by what her sister says next, failing.

“Because you’re being so rude I’m not even going to try to break this gently: you can’t come home for Christmas.”

The world slants and the floor is slipping out from underneath Lily as she manages to say, “What?”

“I booked a table for six at the Pennyworth months ago, because Vernon’s sister was going to be abroad, but she’s not now, and it would be rude to tell her she can’t come after all. I phoned the Pennyworth to see if we could get an extra chair but the place is fully booked out for Christmas dinner and they can’t make any exceptions.”

Lily thinks, as she braces herself against the filing cabinet next to the door, that they probably could make an exception, and Petunia just doesn’t want her strange sister to ruin her perfect Christmas dinner with her future in-laws, but she doesn’t say it.

“And besides, we need your bed because Vernon’s parents are staying at our flat, and they’re very old-fashioned, you see, so we can’t let them know we’re sleeping in the same bed before we get married, so Vernon’s taking the sofa at the flat and I’ll be sleeping in my bed at home. Marjorie will have to sleep in your bed, because it’s the only one left. So there won’t be any room for you.”

Lily doesn’t say that she could sleep in their mother’s bed, doesn’t say that she doesn’t want to go to the Pennyworth anyway, doesn’t say that the Potters would most likely take her in for dinner even without James there, and that the food would be a thousand times better, the company a million times better. She says, “What does Mum think of that?” instead of, “What have you told Mum?” and Petunia pauses in her rambling.

“Of course, she thinks that this is all your idea. You’re so busy with work in London, and you know how important it is for us to welcome all of the Dursleys into the family.”

Lily doesn’t say that that’s complete bullshit, doesn’t say that if Petunia hadn’t been slowly poisoning their mother’s mind since Lily moved away, she’d never have believed it.

There seems to be a lot that Lily isn’t saying, and maybe Petunia senses this, because she says, “Don’t forget to phone in the morning, though,” before she hangs up.

Lily listens to the dial tone, an aural marker of time stretching out from this terrible moment, an anchor to keep her from floating away. She barely realises she’s crying until a sob manages to slip free, and then she’s on the floor with her knees pulled up to her chest and a pair of customers staring at her from the wrong side of the counter. Dorcas shuts the door to the back room, has to save face for the business.

It takes the better part of four minutes for Cas to prise the full story out of Lily, after she’s cleared the shop, and put on two teas. Lily’s still shaking, a little, when Cas starts rubbing her back, and she almost sloshes her tea everywhere. If Sirius were here, he might have offered her a cigarette. If Sirius were here, she might have accepted it.

“Your sister’s a right piece of work,” Cas grumbles.

“Yeah, I know.”

“Hey,” Dorcas says quietly, looking towards the sound of the bell over the door tinkling, “Take your break early, I’ll be okay alone here for a while.”

When she’s gone, and the door is shut behind her, Lily digs her mobile out of her bag. Her fingers move without needing to be told what to do, and James answers with a groggy, “Hello?”

“Oh my god,” she says. “Oh, no, I didn’t even think about the time difference, I didn’t even – oh, this is so silly. I’m sorry, this was dumb, go back to sleep, I’ll—”

“Evans,” he says, warm and firm. “Calm down, I’m not angry. I’ve been woken up at five in the morning before.” She hears a window open on the other end of the line, and the sound of trainers on metal, then he says, “What’s up?”

He says it so casually, like he wouldn’t mind if she was just calling to tell him she saw a cat he might have liked. Like he wouldn’t mind being woken up before the sun even if it wasn’t urgent. “Petunia just called,” she says quietly.

“Christ,” he says. “Are you alright?”

“I’m officially uninvited from Christmas.”

She can almost hear him grinding his teeth. “Right, I’m getting my laptop, and I’m going to book you flights out here to be with us—”

“No,” she says, though she doesn’t know where the firmness comes from. “No, I’m alright here.” She doesn’t have a passport. She doesn’t have the moral ability to take a handout like that. “I just…” needed to hear your voice. She doesn’t say that, and maybe she doesn’t need to. “What are you doing today?”

“Uhh,” he says. “Hmm, I don’t know. I think Siri’s got an interview for something, but I’ll probably just go in and have a four-hour bath to warm up.”

“Go in?” Lily asks. “James, you’re not outside?”

“Does the fire escape count as outside?”

“Isn’t it supposed to be snowing there?”

“It’s actually not that bad out. I think it’s going to rain, because rain is so weird here, like it gets warmer when it rains. So it’s…” He yawns. “I don’t know, I just know that the stairwell smells like vomit and it’s way too early for Siri to be woken up. Evans, it’s fine. I’d stand out in the Antarctic without a jumper if you needed me to.”

“Under what circumstances would I ever require that?” she asks.

“Oh,” he says breezily, “I wouldn’t know. I’d just be following orders.”

January

She breaches James’ en suite for the first time when she’s gone through all the towels in the linen closet, and the laundrette down the road is closed for repairs. She knows he’s got to have towels in there, and she knows he won’t mind, really, but it still feels like she’s finally taking it too far.

“This is so stupid,” she tells herself. “You sleep in his bed every other night.”

It still smells like him in here, the exact combination of his shampoo and the bar soap his mum’s always gotten from the Indian grocery store down the hill from his house. The rest of the flat has mostly lost that smell. She blinks back tears she knows she doesn’t really have any right to shed.

She takes a towel and presses her face into it, and then she does what any reasonable person would do – she gets distracted by what he has laid out on the counter. Most notably a framed professional portrait of their old head of form.

She gave up several months ago on not talking to herself in this flat, so she breathes, “Why do you have this in your bathroom?” She feels like she’s meant to pray to it, or something, which, well. She can think of worse idols to worship than Minerva McGonagall.

There’s also a family of those tiny ceramic cats that Lily is pretty sure are worth a lot of money, and a folded up serviette with COSTA RICA written in sharpie and underlined eight or nine times. And a tube of toothpaste, which seems normal except—

Its expiry date is like, a questionable amount of time past, so after she googles how long is toothpaste good for and finds out that three years is too long, actually, she has a really supremely stupid thought. That’s how she finds herself with her foot braced up against the shower wall, with funny-smelling white goo lathered on her leg and a Kinks song playing through the entertainment system. She knows it’s toothpaste in theory, but in practice her brain just can’t connect the dots.

She holds one of her shitty disposable razors that she’s definitely been using for longer than she should have, and she gives it a go.

As she holds toilet paper to the parts of her leg that are bleeding, she considers that perhaps this does not rate in her Top Ten Best Ideas Ever.

The weekend before Lily’s birthday sees an eclectic mix of people to the Camden flat – first Regulus, two hours early to help her take down the shitty Christmas decorations she still has up, then Dorcas and Benji, who are put to work on the currently-empty drinks table to make ‘KEEP OUT’ signs for the bedrooms. Well, Cas writes KEEP OUT and Benji draws stick figure bouncers with barrel bodies and bouncer-names like Hugh and Geoff and Mars.

At half past eight, they’re playing Cards Against Humanity when the door – the locked door – swings open. Lily’s heart leaps and she half rises from her spot on the couch, because could they be? But it’s Remus and Peter, carrying a slab each, and Frank Longbottom in front with a set of keys in his hand.

“Compliments of the landlord,” Remus tells her, giving her a quick peck on the cheek before struggling over to the kitchen to free his hands. Peter does the same, and Frank, hands-free already, picks her up and spins her round a couple times in greeting.

“I didn’t know you were coming!” she grins, as Remus and Peter re-join them.

“And miss your birthday?”

Peter scoffs. “Not on Prongs’ watch.”

“I hope you didn’t tell too many people they could stay over,” Remus says, “because I’ve had a standing dibs of Sirius’ bed since he passed out on mine in sixth form and I had to sleep on the floor of my own bedroom.”

“Which time?” Pete asks.

“Exactly.”

Lily laughs, of course of course, and it catches Dorcas’ attention, so she waves her over. “This is Remus, Peter, and Frank, who I went to school with. Lads, this is Dorcas, she’s an angel.”

Later, she overhears Peter telling Dorcas something stupid like, “…loves of each others’ lives but they won’t admit it”, but she’s intercepted from going to refute that claim by Frank with fucking jägerbombs even though he knows she and Sirius got blind on them at their Leavers afterparty and she can’t stand the smell now.

“Frank, darling,” she says, trying not to breathe in, “have you met Alice? She probably won’t throw up on you if you put that thing too close to her.” She grabs Alice’s shoulder and uses her like a human shield, burying her face into shoulder length blonde hair. “Alice, this is Frank. His favourite song is Come On Eileen.”

“Fuck off, Evans,” he says cheerfully, and Alice laughs.

“Give me another explanation for why you play it at every single event, then,” says Lily.

“Because it fucking bangs,” Frank says, handing the cup of Red Bull and the shot of Jäger to Alice. Lily uses the distraction as an opportunity to slip away, and she finds herself on the settee next to Mary, getting her head massaged.

“I have a question,” Mary hiccoughs. “Well, I have a few. First,” and she digs her fingers into Lily’s scalp a bit too hard, “why have I not heard a single song recorded anytime in the last fifty years?”

“I dunno how to change the music,” Lily shrugs.

“Second, how the fuck do you afford to live here alone?” She asks it a little louder than Lily might have liked, and she shrinks away from the fingers in her hair.

“Hmm. That.”

“She’s fucking the landlord!” Frank calls from across the room. Entirely too loud. Lily cringes away from the sudden shift in focus around the room.

“I’m gonna get a drink,” she says, and crosses to the kitchen to what is, statistically, a Kinks song. Remus is there, mixing Cherry Coke and vodka, even though she knows he likes neither. “Does James know other bands exist?” she asks, and he laughs, and it’s almost enough to distract from the music changing.

Her body reacts to it before her mind recognises it, and she makes eye contact with him as the blood drains from his face. “I’m sorry!” she shouts, as they make a sprint for the control panel. “I don’t know how to change the songs on this thing.”

He looks up, frustrated, but he says, “It’s not your fault, the thing broke after he put this on and they never figured out how to fix it.”

“But it works fine,” Lily says, peering at the little screen.

“What happened was James prioritised and uploaded all his awful 60s music, and then while he was choosing the other stuff he wanted on, Sirius snuck in and put on Gasolina and something went wrong and the file copied 27 times and now they can’t put anything new on or take anything off.”

“And here I thought Potter had just given up on modern music completely.”

“Oh,” says Remus, shutting the control flap, resigned, “I wouldn’t take that level of pretentiousness off the table.”

[01:21] lames otter to billy kevins: did u like the presents

billy kevins: i dont even drink somersbys

lames otter: I TOLD PETER NOT TO GET FUCKING SOMERSBYS

lames otter: wht abt the actual present

billy kevins: what actual present?

lames otter: i knew putting peter in charge was a bad idea

billy kevins: smh

Lily looks across the room to Peter, who’s just pulling out his phone and frowning at the screen. He looks up and searches for her, and gives her a sheepish smile. He holds up a finger like wait and goes into the kitchen, and she shares a look with Remus.

Peter emerges with a velvet box and Lily thinks for a hot minute that 1) James is proposing, 2) he’s proposing via Peter, 3) he’s proposing but then she realises that any jewellery might come in a velvet box.

billy kevins to lames otter: tell me you did not buy me jewellery

lames otter: open it u fool

She takes the box from Peter and opens it slowly, because this is sure to be something stupidly expensive, knowing James, but—

“Oh my god,” she laughs. It’s a plastic Spider-Man kids’ watch, like the one she and Tuney used to share back in primary school, before Tuney gave it to the boy she liked and he gave her a broken heart in return. She puts it on her wrist and thinks about how much she resents her sister, and about how that’s outweighing her James Potter resent for now.

billy kevins sent a photo to lames otter.

lames otter: :~)

lames otter: ok im going to dinner w siris art class friends

lames otter: speaking of, he says his gift shld b arriving in the post this week

lames otter: ok byeee call u wednesday xoxo

February

Never having to be the one who does the vacuuming, Lily discovers one afternoon when her white socks come away from the wooden floor covered in hair and dust, is a luxury of living at home. Oh my god, she thinks to herself, you’ve been here almost a year and you never thought to hoover.

So that’s what she does, after searching through every single cupboard in the flat. She finds this really ancient hoover that looks to be older than her—

(Why, she asks herself, indulging her petulance for just a moment, do these stupid boys have to do everything for the aesthetic? Why can’t they have clean, modern appliances that work?)

—and she sets to work.

Well, she blasts James’ awful 60s playlist and sets to work.

She tackles the guest bedroom carpet first, over the course of (shocker) a Kinks song and a half. A year, a year she’s lived in this flat and it’s still the guest bedroom, not her bedroom. Even James still calls it that, when she can get him on the phone, when he isn’t ducking her calls, when she isn’t ducking his.

(“Hey, quick question,” Sirius had said, last time he’d been in the room while James was on Skype with her, “why the fuck do the two of you still not know how to talk to each other?”

James had thrown a cushion at him, and accidentally pressed end call. She chooses to believe it was an accident.)

She does his room over a Beatles track that she doesn’t quite like, but which definitely reminds her of him. “Hey quick question,” she says, out loud to the empty room, “why the fuck am I so pathetic about James Potter?”

It’s because you don’t talk, the Sirius-tinged voice in her head snarks.

“That’s enough,” she tells him – not him.

She does a shit job of vacuuming his room out of spite.

Maybe it’s not just him in her head that’s riling her up. Maybe it’s him on the wall above the fridge, tick, tick, ticking. Maybe she leaves the hoover running even while she’s moving furniture to drown out that fucking clock. Maybe she climbs up onto the bench and tries to accidentally knock it down while reaching for the cobwebs on the ceiling.

“Hm,” she says to herself, from her new home on the floor with a sore tailbone and an even sorer wrist. She has to drag herself, one handed, to the table to retrieve her phone.

Regulus picks up on the eighth ring. Of the third call. “What?”

“I need you to take me to A&E.”

“What? Catch the tube. What did you do?”

“I fell off the bench and I think I broke my arm.”

“Evans. I don’t have a car.”

“So nick one,” she says. “Or were you making it up when you told me last month that you feel a spiritual connection with Baby from Baby Driver?”

“Fucking fine,” he says, except he hangs up halfway through so it’s more like fucking fi—.

“It’s not broken,” the nurse tells them, like six hours later.

(For all his complaining that she was being a real nuisance, Regulus had stuck around in the emergency room for an awfully long time.)

“Okay,” Lily says slowly. “Then why’s it hurt so much?”

Regulus stifles a snicker, but the nurse just gives her a look like grow up. “You’ve sprained it. We’ll get you fitted with a splint and you’ll be free to go home and rest.” She gives them another look, this time like don’t get up to anything too strenuous, which Regulus finds even funnier.

When he takes her home, she decides she can, in fact, keep living like this, and makes him put the hoover away.

“Don’t call me,” he says cheerfully on his way out, and then she’s alone.

She goes to bed, because what else is she going to do? She’s tired. She goes to James’ bed, and god, she misses him.

She stays in bed for a few days, except for when she makes herself toast and tea, and she calls in sick to work. She calls her mum, and then she calls Remus, because those seem like the two most sensible options. The most adult options, even though her mum’s still angry with her for not coming home for Christmas, even though Remus hasn’t texted her back in a week.

“James is going to want to know about this,” he tells her, then, “oh my god shut up, Pete, we’re not going to be late! I’m talking to Lily, can you be quiet?”

Muffled, she hears Peter say, “Tell her hello from me. Am I making this turn?”

“No, the next one.” He sighs. “Sending him a Snapchat doesn’t count as telling him, either. Call him. And you didn’t hear it from me, but Black’s just about reached the end of his tether with America and I’m sure a few well-timed words from you would hold quite a bit of sway.”

“You want me to convince them to come home? Hang on, wasn’t it Black’s idea to move there in the first place?”

“There’s rarely reason or rhyme involved when it comes to Sirius Black. Listen, we’ve just pulled up at this dinner, I’ve got to go. Love you, call James.”

Anxiety heaves in her stomach, and she’s tired again, bone-tired. A nap, two naps later, and then, well.

Call him.

Sun is streaming through the window next to him, and he’s wearing a t-shirt which is like, annoying, because she hasn’t seen the sun in five or six days, and the flat is still bitingly cold.

“Sirius is being annoying,” his voice announces, three seconds before his mouth does.

“Well, you know,” she says, “I can treat you better.”

“Don’t you fuckin—”

“Better than he can.”

“Oh my god, you’re such a fucking meme. I like you why, exactly?”

She grins. “How’s LA?”

He grins back. “All so crazy, everybody seems so famous.”

“Oh, and I’m the meme?”

His grin relaxes. “What’ve you gone and done to your arm?”

She goes bright red. “Hm.”

“Do I have to call Remus to find out? Or do I need to come back to make sure you don’t accidentally fall out a window? Do I need to make sure you, like, mind the gap?”

“Yeah,” she says. “Yeah, maybe.”

“Ask me properly?” He whispers it, and her thundering heart almost drowns it out.

Don’t be silly now, she tells herself. This could be worth the risk. “Come home,” she says, quietly. “Please, come home.”

He stares at her, just stares. Maybe the screen has frozen, and then he lets out a heavy sigh.

He opens his mouth, and the stream drops out.

#fic #my writing #jily #jily*#paddfootdidit #prongsno #marissaauntmay #lilyjpotter #jiilys #snapslikethis #gxldentrio #quidditchlesbian #struttinglikapotter #if anyone else wants to be tagged in these let me kno #gasolina #sltltua

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bastionkeeper · 6 years

Text

Plus One

A birthday gift for the wonderful @mykindofcontent who asked for a fake dating Taakitz fic, I had fun throwing some secret twin angst and future Taakitz fluff into here I hope it’s worthy of one of the most amazing people in the universe! Happy birthday!

Taako took a step back, admiring his handiwork. He dusted off his hands and grabbed the umbrastaff, lowering it to face the circle of raven's feathers.

The sun had set long ago, and there was a chill in the air but nothing the shawl draped across his shoulders couldn't handle. He was standing in the courtyard of a large party hall, just out of reach of the golden light pouring out of the windows.

A few slanted words from Taako's lips whispered into the night, stirring the wind, somehow leaving the feathers untouched.

A black and red energy surged within the circle, and a screaming form lurched out of another plane to fix Taako with furious red eyes.

“Who has dared summon me?” the reaper roared in a cockney accent.

“'Sup, love the enthusiasm, but shut up for a minute,” Taako said, grabbing Kravitz and pulling him out of the summoning circle.

“Wai- what?” Kravitz stumbled along behind the elf. “You again? From the crystal lab!”

“Nice to see you again,” Taako said with a wave. “Now be quiet.”

Taako looked Kravitz over with a critical eye and then pointed the umbrastaff at him. Kravitz summoned his scythe defensively, but it turned out to be unnecessary as the only thing Taako did was cast minor illusion on his clothes. Kravitz was now in a tuxedo, fit for a black tie event.

“What is this?” Kravitz asked.

“Okay so,” Taako began. “I need some help crashing this wedding.”

“Why are you...?” Kravitz trailed off with a sigh, rubbing his temples. “Why couldn't you just get one of those other death dodgers to help?”

“Because a job like this requires finesse, and those dingdongs couldn't finesse a jar of pickles.”

Kravitz took a moment to look at Taako, noticing that he too was well dressed. He was in a gold dress, his face was freckled with gold glitter, and he wore an impressive pair of heels.

“See, there's uh...there's a relic in this shindig, and I need some help getting in to grab it,” Taako said. He watched Kravitz's face, and his theory that the voidfish didn't affect the dead was proven right by the look of recognition on Kravitz's face.

“Something like that transformation magic the necromancer was using?” Kravitz asked.

“Precisely!” Taako clapped his hands together. “But just lil ol' Taako on his own is suspicious. Taako plus one though? No one wants to kick out the nice couple!”

“I'm your date?” Kravitz realized he was blushing. He'd be lying if he said he'd never noticed how attractive the elf was. Even for a bounty.

“My husband to be precise,” Taako said. “You in, bone daddy?”

Kravitz considered the possibilities. He could just refuse and go back to the astral plane to his room where a half-re-read book and a mug of tea were waiting, waste some time in between bounties...or he could accompany the gorgeous and volatile elf on a dangerous mission.

Kravitz sighed, wishing he had more sense than this.

As the double doors to the hall opened, Taako took Kravitz's arm, and the reaper tried hard to keep his composure. The pair entered, and Kravitz blinked in the sudden brightness.

It was hard to tell who was the bride and groom in this room, as everyone was dressed not just to the nines but maybe to the twelves. Some even went so far as to wear masquerade masks, or elaborate headdresses decked out in feathers. Suddenly Taako's dramatic makeup made sense.

“Hello! Welcome! Mother of the bride,” an aged half elf woman greeted them at the door with a smile. “Who might you be?”

“Magnus Highchurch, remember that name in case I do something to make you angry later,” Taako winked and kissed the woman's hand. Despite Taako's strange introduction the woman appeared quite charmed and tittered at the gestured. “This is my husband.”

“Lucas Highchurch, pleasure to be here, we go way back with the groom, and we think your daughter is going to make him very happy.” Kravitz shook the woman's hand, meanwhile Taako was gaping at Kravitz, shocked at how easily and willingly he was going along with the performance.

“Oh well, I do hope I see you fine gentleman around when I'm done greeting guests,” the woman said, her smile widening. “Please, enjoy yourselves! Tessa and Marc are sitting in the back with the rest of the family if you want to say hello!”

“Thank you, I hope we'll talk again later.” It was Kravitz who took Taako's arm this time, leading them away from the woman and striding with confidence into the party.

“Dude that was so dope.” Taako seemed to have pulled a fan out of nowhere, and was using it to cover his pleased giggling.

“I'm just trying to blend in,” Kravitz said.

“You won't do that easy looking like that,” Taako said, looking Kravitz up and down. The reaper stiffened.

“What's that supposed to mean?”

“That you're a fine skeleton,” Taako winked. “Also you look super nervous.”

“I do not!” Kravitz huffed indignantly. “If anything my performance was more convincing than yours.”

“Wanna bet?” Taako pulled away from Kravitz and looked him in the eyes, smiling dangerously. “I remember your little gambling problem. What say we make this interesting?”

Kravitz felt that familiar itch he could never seem to scratch when it came to gambling, and tilted his head curiously. “What did you have in mind?”

“I say we lie outrageously, and the first one to get found out loses,” Taako suggested.

“Wouldn't that make it hard to find this magical item you're looking for?” Kravitz asked.

“I can just cast disguise self no worries, Taako's still got some spell slots left.” Taako closed his fan and used it to tap the umbrastaff that was hanging from his arm. “You in or not?”

“What does the winner get?” Kravitz asked, the red in his dark eyes surging. “Do I get to drag you back to the astral plane when I win?”

“I was thinking when I win, you give me your shoes.”

“What?” Kravitz laughed. “Why?”

“Nothing funnier than a sore loser with sore feet,” Taako said. “Now shake on it, bone-man.”

“Fine,” Kravitz sighed and shook Taako's hand. “Let's begin, Taako.”

They made the rounds, chatting with friends and family and gathering information about the party as they went. Kravitz told stories about how he was a conductor for the Goldcliff Symphony Orchestra, and how Taako was in the front row one night during their best performance and that was the night they fell in love.

Taako spun a tale about a paparazzi swarm that had been chasing him, until his bodyguard made them scram in a way so sexy he couldn't help but marry him.

The stories got more wild from there, but somehow no one doubted them. Everyone in the room wanted to talk to the most interesting couple of the night, and that certainly wasn't the newlyweds anymore.

Kravitz finished another story and excused himself to meet Taako by the bar. The elf offered him a paper plate with a couple finger foods on it.

“Try this one.”

Kravitz popped the food in his mouth and grimaced. “That's terrible.”

“I know right?” Taako shook his head, tutting. “What were they thinking. They got the texture all wrong, and the whole thing is basically salt.”

“I can still taste it,” Kravitz complained, sticking his tongue out.

“I have something that'll fix that.” Taako pulled a hand out from behind his back, revealing a rather expensive bottle of wine.

“Did you steal that?” Kravitz hissed, checking to see if the bartender was watching.

“He said we each get one free drink. I just like my drinks a bit bigger than others.” Taako winked. “Come on!”

Taako grabbed Kravitz's hand and pulled him away from the bar and towards a secluded table in the corner. He popped open the wine and took a swig straight from the bottle before handing it to Kravitz.

“Can't believe no one's called your bullshit yet.”

“Is it that hard to believe Mr. “The King of Neverwinter asked me to visit and I declined”?” Kravitz shot back.

“That part actually isn't a lie.” Taako winked.

“Come off it,” Kravitz snorted, taking a sip of wine. They sat in silence for a moment, watching the dancers sway drunkenly to upbeat music. Then Kravitz turned back to Taako.

“Why did you really bring me here?”

“I told you, needed backup.”

“Taako, there's no relic here.”

Taako's ears drooped slightly and he shrugged, not even ashamed to be caught in a lie. “I don't like crashing parties alone. It's more fun with another person.”

“You do this a lot then?” Kravitz asked.

“Only when I'm feeling lonely or want good booze or food,” Taako said. “Haven't done it much since....since...uh...I can't really remember, but not for a long time.”

Kravitz chuckled and Taako gave him a confused look.

“Your shoes, sir.” Kravitz held out a hand.

“What?”

“First one caught in a lie loses their shoes, remember?” Kravitz smirked. The realization dawned on Taako's face, and he smiled, then he started laughing. He clapped a hand to his forehead, and was laughing so hard he was crying a little.

“Oh shit!” he squealed. “You're fucking right, damn I really liked these ones.”

Taako put a leg up on Kravitz's lap and started the arduous process of removing the intricate heels. Kravitz tried very hard not to move.

“Here you go, asshole,” Taako snickered, handing over the shoes. “But you better give a homie a portal home so I don't have to walk with bare feet.”

“I wouldn't be that cruel,” Kravitz smirked, taking the heels.

When the portal opened up into Taako's room, Kravitz felt sad that the party was over. Some part of him had actually enjoyed being lied to and kidnapped for some strange wedding crashing. Some part of him had really enjoyed spending time with Taako.

“Well, this is me,” Taako said, stepping through the portal. “Thanks for the lift and...for...humoring me I guess.”

Kravitz was stunned to see that it was Taako blushing now, looking down at his feet sheepishly. The reaper smiled and gave Taako a deep bow.

“Well, anytime you want to win back your honor and your shoes...” Kravitz dangled the heels in front of Taako's face. “...give me a call.”

Then the portal was gone, and Taako and Kravitz were both left standing in their darkened rooms, hoping secretly that the reaper would get a chance to return the shoes.

#taakitz #taako #kravitz #taz #the adventure zone #blatantbalderdash #mykindofcontent

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theepolynesian · 7 years

Text

Together Again

Summary: Thranduil is brought to your world and vice-versa.

Pairing: Thranduil x Reader

Word Count: 2,756

Master Lists: Drabbles/Imagines, and Completed Series

Requested by:

@annajolras: May I request a lil story? Thranduil x reader where he is swept into the 'real world' (modern au) and reader (very short, like 5'4") shows him around and stuff.... fluff please😘 I love your writing❤❤ thank you xxx

Anon: Hello! I love all your work so I'd figured I would try a request... A nerdy lord of the rings/hobbit fan from are world gets pulled into middle earth by the Valar to change the outcome of the battle of five army's? Feel free to run with it however you'd like!

A/n: sorry that it’s shit.

You look at the man at your front steps with a shocked face. You had to be dreaming. That was the only explanation. Well the only plausible explanation as to why, The Elvenking Thranduil was standing at your door. That has to be it.

“You are a very amazing Thranduil cosplayer, but Halloween is not for another three months,” you say, raising your brow at the man.

He could pass as Lee Pace’s twin that's for sure including height. 6’5” was damn tall. Anything above your 5’4” stature was tall to you.

“I do not understand your words, human. What exactly is cosplay and Halloween?”

“VERY funny. I didn't think you were that dense,” you say, rolling your eyes as a force of habit.

“You dare speak to me like that?” he booms and you back away, afraid.

He sighs, rubbing his forehead.

“Can you just tell me where I am?. One minute I was in my throne room the next I'm in this area that I do not recognize with houses more exquisite than Gondor,” he explains and you sigh.

Maybe this was actually Thranduil and for some reason the Valar had sent him here.

You needed to get to the bottom of this.

A few hours and a couple of shots of vodka later, you finally finished explaining everything to the King.

“So I don’t know how you got here, but I think you’ll just have to wait it out and you can do that here. But now it’s time for bed. I have a guest room and extra clothes inside there as well. You cannot be walking around in a dress,” you say.

“It’s a dress robe,” Thranduil argues.

“Whatever it is, it doesn’t fit in,” you say, standing and leading him to his bedroom, “we can talk about the rest of it in the morning.”

You make your way to your room and get into bed, staring at the ceiling.

What the hell were you supposed to do?

“Y/n!” You hear and you immediately shoot out of your bed, now wide awake, running to the source.

Thranduil did not seem like an elf who would yell for no reason so there had to be something wrong. You may have just met the elf but you got protective easily.

You pause in the bedroom doorway as you realize that Thranduil was in no trouble at all.

He was simply staring at the TV with wide amazed eyes.

Your panic settles into a bout of anger.

“Are you dying or something?” You ask irritably.

“How did those people get into the box? Why are they in a box?” He asks panicked.

You sigh.

“It’s a thing called television. Cameras captures a moving an image and they project it to the television. The thing that you’re watching now.”

“But are they really that small?”

“No. They’re normal sized men. The image is downsized to fit the screen. Now can you please get dressed? I don’t have any groceries so we have to go out to eat.”

Making your way down the stairs, you think about the elvenking and how out of character he seemed.

In the movie, he was cold and calculating, in the book he wasn’t as bad, but a very concerned elf king was not what you were expecting. Especially concern for those not of his race.

You make a cup of coffee and wait for the king to make an appearance.

You can’t help but choke as you see him in tight jeans, a white shirt and a read and black flannel with a man bun.

JFC he rocked that man bun.

“Are you alright?” he asks.

“Yes. Why do you ask?” you reply a bit sharply.

“You choked.”

“Did not.”

“Elves have very good hearing. You choked.”

You shrug.

“Never thought you would wear a bun.”

His hand reaches out to touch his hair.

“Yes. Well, I saw it on your image thing and I thought it would be best to try and fit in.”

You look him over and notice his pointed ears. You needed to fix it because pointy ears were very suspicious. You walk up to the king and pull a few strands loose so that it’ll cover his ears.

“Do you always touch those above you?” he breathes and you roll your eyes at his haughtiness, ignoring the closeness.

“You are my equal in this realm. I am neither below or above you,” you retort.

He raises his brow.

“I meant people taller than you,” he says and you pause before laughing.

That earns a smile from him.

“I really need to stop being so uptight, don’t I?” you ask him, stepping back.

He shrugs, giving you a small smile.

“Maybe.”

You laugh again.

“Let’s go, princess,” you say and he lets out a chuckle before you both leave the house.

When you went shopping with the King, you did not expect it to be such an amazing day.

Contrary to popular belief, he was rather nice and funny and so carefree. He cracked quite a few jokes and you had fell for him hard within a space of one day. You didn’t want him to leave.

“So elves are things that help this santa person and they’re actually really small with bells?” Thranduil asks as you walk into your house, arms filled with groceries.

“Yes. They are supposedly the ones who make the toys to deliver to children,” you explain.

“How degrading,” he says, placing the groceries on the counter.

You watch him unload the groceries with a smile on your face.

You wanted this. You wanted someone you could settle down with. Someone you could go shopping with, laugh with, play around with. Someone who would love you as much as you would love them. You know you shouldn’t be getting attached, but you couldn’t help it. He’s an amazing guy with an amazing personality.

“What is it?”

You shake your head and look at him with a sad smile on your face.

“Nothing, princess. Let’s just get dinner started.”

You’re not really surprised to find him gone the next day as if he wasn’t even there in the first place, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt like a bitch.

It takes you months to get over him. Although you’ve watched him on the big screen many times, it was not the same as it was talking to him in person. The Thranduil on the screen was not your Thranduil.

After watching BOTFA all the way through for the first time, you decide to hit the sheets. You were missing him again and a sad Thranduil just made you more sad. You just wish you could see him again.

Orcs. Dragons. Dwarves. Wizards.

That’s all you could dream about.

It’s not the first time that you’ve dreamed about it, definitely not, but this one was different.

In this dream, you were a part of the battle of the five armies. You saved the Durin’s lives and you were finally reunited with Thranduil.

You didn’t want this dream to end, but it does as soon as you start falling.

You didn’t understand how you could be falling when you were lying in your bed but you are and it seems to go on and on and on.

You let out an oomph as you finally land on the ground, knocking the wind out of you.

It was extremely cold for some reason. Last you checked, it was summer. A very HOT summer.

You slowly open your eyes and gone was the night replaced by day.

You hear clashing swords making you confused.

It was the 21st century. Who used swords?

Slowly, you sit up and take in the scene around you. It’s then that you realize that you were no longer in earth.

You were in Middle Earth.

Quickly standing, you look around for a weapon as an orc charges at you.

You make for the sword that was conveniently there and stab the orc before it has a chance to stab you. Those fencing classes were finally useful.

“Lass! What the hell are you doing here?” you hear and you turn to find Dwalin, Thorin, Fili and Kili.

“It’s not like it was on purpose. Believe me, it was an accident!” you reply.

“An accident?” Thorin rumbles looking you over, “what in Durin’s name are you wearing?”

“Now is not the time. We are in the middle of a war, if I’m not mistaken and you are about to be led into a trap,” you say, not really feeling like it was the time to explain a tank top and sweatpants.

“What do you mean trap?” Fili asks.

“Thorin was about to send the both of you to those towers to see if Azog was there. He is even though it doesn’t seem like it and he traps you and you die alone which is a pretty shitty way to die if I do say so myself,” you inform them.

When you realized that Fili dies alone, you were absolutely livid. Thorin had Bilbo and Kili had Tauriel and there was no one for Fili and you absolutely hated it.

“Why should we listen to a human that seemingly appears out of nowhere wearing naught but her underwear?” Thorin growls as you all spring into action, killing more orcs.

“Because it is true. If you just used your common sense, you would realize that it was a trap, but you didn’t and it got your nephews killed and that Thorin Oakenshield is not going to happen on my watch,” you growl out.

Thorin looks at you before nodding.

“We will stay together and live to fight another day,” he says and you let out a sigh of relief.

At least he was coming to his senses.

The five of you continue fighting with Bilbo joining halfway through with Legolas and Tauriel right behind him.

Thorin soon faces off with Azog and you were preparing for the last life you were supposed to save.

Azog plunges into the water and you notice that Thorin is following his body floating down the stream.

“Thorin stay away!” you shout and he looks at you confused before looking down again.

You sigh at the stupid king. You decide that the only thing that could save him now was a tackle to the ground and so you tackle him.

Not even a second later, Azog pops out of the ice with a shout.

You roll off of Thorin and the both of you immediately bring your swords up, stabbing Azog in the chest not once, but twice at the same time.

You just killed the pale orc with Thorin right beside you. What?

Ignoring your train of thought, you and Thorin both push Azog off of you and you just lay there for a few seconds, trying to gather your scattered brain.

“Is she dead?” you hear.

“Perfectly fine. Just need time to reevaluate my life.”

“Are you finally going to explain who you are and where you come from?” Thorin asks, offering you his hand. You look at it before looking at his face.

“It’s going to take a while,” you say.

“Thanks to you, I now have all the time in the world,” he says and you take his hand and then the coat that he offers you.

You explain to him every detail possible as you are joined by the company one-by-one.

“So now wait a minute lass. You’re from another world and you were brought here completely by accident?” Bofur asks and you nod, standing quickly as you realize that Thranduil must be here as well.

“Where is Thranduil?” you ask, looking at the dwarves.

“The elf ponce?” Dwalin asks.

You roll your eyes.

“Yes. The very same,” you say.

“Y/n?” you hear and you slowly turn around, immediately recognizing the voice.

There in front of you is the elf that you grew to love. He looked older. Much older and there was blood splattered across his face and he looked absolutely exhausted.

You finally remember that he was here to look for Legolas or rather his body. You knew that Legolas would still be alive at the end of The Hobbit but it still made your heart hurt to think that Thranduil was losing the only thing he had left from his wife.

“Princess!” you exclaim, running towards him and leaping into his arms.

He catches you easily and immediately wraps his arms around you, burying his face into your hair.

“I missed you so much,” he whispers and you pull back with a laugh.

“It’s only been three months, Princess, but I missed you too,” you say and he looks at you confused.

“It’s been three thousand years, y/n.”

You frown. That made no sense at all.

“I would like to explain it to you without listening ears,” he says, glaring at something in the back of you.

You turn to find Thorin holding up his hands in defense.

“We get it. We’ll leave you two alone,” and with that the company makes their way down the hill with Bilbo’s hand clasped in Thorin’s. Your OTP finally gets to become cannon!

You take a seat on one of the staircases, trying to process this information.

“So if three thousand years have passed, that means I met you in the year three thousand three hundred eighty two of the second age, meaning your father was still alive and you were still a prince,” you say, gathering all of your Tolkien knowledge.

Thranduil nods in confirmation.

“I was indeed still a prince. I had nothing to my name,” he replies and you raise your brows at the obvious lie.

“Well nothing important to my name. No son or wife. Just me and my father and his kingdom. It wasn’t until after the throne was handed to me that I found my wife, Lilliana. I was hoping beyond all hope that I would see you again and I wanted to wait for you. I wanted to I really did, but duty called and I found a wife. A wife that I loved just as much as I loved you. A wife that made me happy just like you did in the space of one day. A wife that-.”

“Died protecting your son,” you say, interrupting him and he looks at you for a second, wondering how you knew all of this information.

You had skipped telling him about the Hobbit films and books. You didn’t want to change something which is kind of ridiculous now that you thought about it. You wanted to avoid giving him information that would change the timeline, but here you were changing the timeline yourself. Ridiculous.

“That she did,” he replies and you sigh.

“What are we doing Thranduil? We’ve known each other for one day and yet we fell in love.”

“And here we are, after three thousand years of being apart, finally confessing our feelings for each other. I don’t know about you, but I think this was meant to happen.”

You look at the prince turned king.

“But what if I get taken back just like you had all those years back. I don’t think I can handle being in love with you only for it to be ripped apart once again,” you tell him truthfully.

“I do not believe that that’s going to happen again. It was no coincidence that were brought to each other, twice. Absolutely none and I just want to be happy again with you by my side.”

You smile at him.

You could finally settle down and start a family, something you never really dreamed about until you met him. You can finally be happy again.

“And I want to be by your side until death do us part.”

He places a kiss on your forehead.

“Nothing is ever going to tear us apart ever again.”

Forever Tag List: @miss-mcbotty @sdavid09 @why-pace-why@emilyymichelle @bee-wrecker @raisaioana71 @clockworkfall @dracsgirl @imaginesreblogged @whatthehellisacastiel @brewsthespirit-blog @angstflaff @nelswp @savvythedork

Hobbit Tag List: @jotink78 @arabellaelliana @legolas-bromance @thealbersclan @youtubehelpsmesurvive @annajolras @sapphire110611 @filmozerca

#thranduil x reader #thranduil #reader insert #the hobbit #fanficiton #drabble

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thelastspeecher · 7 years

Text

Today I randomly, out of nowhere, got inspired to write more for that de-aged Ford AU that I wrote a couple things for a few months ago. So, uh, here ya go. Some more nonsense with Stan basically being Ford’s dad.

“Stanford, wash your face,” Fiddleford instructed, not looking up from the book he was reading. Ford scowled.

“Why?” he demanded.

“We’ve got company comin’ over soon.” Stan froze in the middle of scrubbing the specimen tank in the living room.

“Uh, company?” Stan asked.

“Yes. It’s Thanksgiving. I’ve got a couple guests comin’.”

“Why is this the first time I’m hearing about this?” Stan said. “Fiddlesticks, technically, this isn’t even your house. You’re just squatting here ‘cause of the whole…doomsday device-slash-kid Ford thing.”

“I didn’t tell ya?” Fiddleford asked. He frowned. “Hmm. Thought I did.”

“If it’s Thanksgiving, why aren’t you busy cooking?” Ford asked.

“My siblin’s are bringin’ some dishes. And I have somethin’ in the oven anyways. So, go scrub those cute chubby cheeks of yours, Stanford.”

“But my face is clean,” Ford protested.

“Not completely.”

“Fiddleford!” Ford whined, stomping his foot.

“Just do what Fiddleford says,” Stan said tiredly. Ford pouted, but headed towards the bathroom anyways. Stan dropped the sponge he had been using to clean into the tank. “All right, who exactly is coming over?”

“My two younger siblin’s. Angie ‘n Lute.”

“Angie and Luke. Got it.”

“Lute. With a ‘T’.”

“…That’s not a name.”

“Stanley, I am not arguin’ with ya again ‘bout what constitutes a name.” The doorbell rang. “That must be them.”

“I’ll get it, I’ll get it!” Ford shouted. Stan fought back a small grin at the pattering of Ford’s tiny footsteps. “Hello.”

“Howdy there, kidlet!” a voice enthused.

“Uh…” Ford said uncertainly.

“Gosh, yer even cuter ‘n Fidds said ya were,” a second voice gushed. Fiddleford stood up.

“Should we go welcome ‘em?” Fiddleford asked. Stan sighed.

“Fine.” He and Fiddleford walked to the front door, where Ford was being cooed over by a young man and woman.

“Howdy,” Fiddleford said. The man and woman looked up.

“Fidds!” the woman chirped. “This lil one is so goldarn cute! Where’d ya find him, again?”

“He’s my son,” Stan interjected. Ford let out a small, frustrated huff. “Stanford.”

“He looks just like you,” the woman said, smiling. She held out a hand. “Angie McGucket. And yer name? I mean, I can’t just call ya ‘Stanford’s dad’, now, can I?”

“Stan,” Stan said, hesitantly shaking Angie’s hand. Her brother frowned.

“Yer name is Stan, and ya named yer son Stan, too?”

“Like we have room to talk ‘bout weird names,” Angie said. She nudged her brother. “Introduce yourself.”

“Oh, right. Lute.”

“Like the instrument?” Ford asked. Lute smiled.

“Yer a smart lil cookie, ain’t ya?”

“He definitely is,” Stan said, placing a hand on Ford’s shoulder. “Don’t know where he got it. No way it’s from me.” It was the wrong thing to say. Angie and Lute’s faces dropped. Fiddleford cleared his throat.

“Anyways, let me show ya the kitchen, okay, siblin’s?” Fiddleford said.

“Oh, sure, sure,” Lute said, walking into the house, Angie behind him. Ford let out a small sigh and closed the door.

“Great, more people who think I’m your son.”

“Mm.” At Stan’s noncommittal noise, Ford turned, only to see Stan watching Angie walk away. Stan’s gaze drifted south. Ford punched Stan’s leg.

“Stan!”

“What?” Stan asked, looking down at Ford. Ford huffed.

“You’re so hopeless sometimes. Can you keep your mind off some woman’s ass for five minutes?”

“Hey, watch it,” Stan scolded. Ford scowled.

“Don’t you dare tell me to watch my language,” Ford hissed.

“In front of Fiddlestick’s brother and sister, I’m gonna have to. They think I’m your dad. That’s what a dad would do if his kid swore.” Ford raised an eyebrow. “A halfway decent dad,” Stan amended.

“Why are you so concerned about what kind of father you’re pretending to be?” Ford asked.

“Practice.”

“For what?”

“Look, just ‘cause you never want to have kids, doesn’t mean I feel the same way,” Stan said shortly, turning away. Ford blinked.

“…Oh.”

“You’re not really my kid, but hey, it’s somethin’, right? I am technically in charge of you.”

“When the situation calls for it.”

“Yeah. That happens a lot though, little Sixer,” Stan said with a wink, nudging Ford. Ford rolled his eyes. Stan suddenly sighed. “Not like it’d go anywhere with Fiddlestick’s sister. She’s objectively attractive, and under normal circumstances, I’d probably take a shot. But until you get back to normal…no girl in her right mind is gonna wanna go on a date with a guy like me, who has a damn kid.”

“Are you sure about that?” Ford asked quietly. “The McGuckets love children. Fiddleford’s sister pinched my cheek when she saw me.”

“Heh.”

“They don’t care about that sort of thing. For one of Fiddleford’s relatives, having a child already would probably be considered the icing on the cake.”

“Really?”

“Yes.” Ford looked down at his feet. “I- don’t let me hold you back, Stanley. You’ve already turned your life upside down to help.”

“Not like I had much to turn upside down in the first place, Ford.”

“Regardless. If you want to ask someone out, do it.” Stan sighed. “I mean it.”

“…All right. Since you told me to, I- I’ll try to not let you being a kid mess up my lovelife.”

“Good,” Ford said with a nod. “And if you are successful, and you do go on a date, well, good for you.”

“Yeah. But I’d have to pay a sitter. Unless Fiddlesticks would do it for free…”

“A sitter? Why?” Ford asked. Stan chuckled and ruffled Ford’s rambunctious curls.

“Like I’d leave you unattended for a couple hours, junior mad scientist.” Stan walked away, whistling. Ford stared after his brother for a moment before what Stan had said clicked.

“Wh- no! A babysitter? I don’t need a babysitter!”

“Don’t worry, you’ll only get a sitter if I get a date,” Stan said. He turned around to wink at Ford. “Let’s see if you were right about Fiddlestick’s sister dating a dad.”

#btw if you were wondering. Ford was right.#Stan gets that date and Fiddleford ends up watching Ford while Stan is on said date #Ford is v upset with the whole thing #he throws a tantrum about it and Fiddleford puts him in time out #''until he can behave himself''#Stanford Pines #Stanley Pines #Fiddleford McGucket #Angie McGucket #Lute McGucket #deaged Ford AU #my writing #speecher speaks

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wavesofinkdrops · 7 years

Text

Hellfire - part I

Warnings: IMPORTANT POINT: READ THE AUTHOR’S NOTE RIGHT BELOW, it explains a bit of what is going on. Warnings for this fic (posted in five parts) are heavy: contains WWII, atomic weapons, graphic violence, dark themes, dark!America, dark!Russia, dark!China, torture, implied torture, murder, dystopic themes.... this is the 1984 AU, after all. Also it does skip from one time and place to another, because there’s like... decades to get through. This isn’t even half of the complete story.

A/N: The important point I have is that this is a prequel to the two previous installments in this series (1 and 2). This is based on extensive historical and literary research into Orwell’s book (Goldstein’s, more specifically). I will put all the notes into a different post once all the parts have been posted to explain any confusion that might have remained. Two people I have to thank for this are @stirringwind, whose 1984 AU comments (especially about how American government and society would have changed during those times - something I develop on in later parts; sorry if tagging bothers you, just wanted to bring this point to light!) helped me build the universe in a way that makes sense, and @freedomeagles whose art and ideas are just awesome (the bit about Taiwan is all because of her and just a bunch of other ideas...) So without the two of them, this wouldn’t be half as good as it might be! I’ll link all the parts to each other, and once everything is posted, the final “notes and analysis post” will also be linked to this. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask me (here or @an-old-telephone! Enjoy!

Next Part

JULY 1941 - WASHINGTON D.C., USA "Alfred, I-" Arthur cringes, and Alfred sees the awkward way in which he shifts, clearly uncomfortable with the situation he is in. He stands in front of Alfred, a rather old suit hanging on his thin frame, his health clearly affected by the war - the war that had begun less than a year before. But the Germans' strategy was very aggressive and taking a hard toll on the British. His face was ashen and his eyes shadowed by dark rings. Meanwhile, Alfred was lounging at his desk, his feet propped up comfortably on the desk, twirling a fountain pen in his hand. The document he had been reading through was laying forgotten on the desk, right under where his feet were.

"Arthur? Hello, Earth to Arthur, you still there?" "Yes, yes, I am here, I am merely trying to say... something... which, well, isn't easy for me to say," Arthur coughs out, his eyes flitting about the office. "Okay...?" There's another silence, when Arthur looks like he's about to say something, but thinks otherwise. "Arthur?" "Yes, fine! You know very well of the situation Europe is in," Arthur states with whatever scraps of pride he has left. He still manages to lace his voice with feigned disinterest. "Yeah, I am." Alfred finds this kind of funny almost, the way Arthur was trying put the dirt back into the grave Ludwig was digging for him, without Alfred's help when Alfred was sitting there with all the money in the world in his hands. "Well, you've also heard about the... attack Britain faces." His voice and posture are stiff, tense, and Alfred's just trying to see every single opportunity this chance gives him. And they're all looking pretty appealing. "Yeah," he states nonchalantly - not his war, not his business, not his country, not his men. That was his people's opinion. For now. "And the British government was merely wondering if there was any way we could expect aid from our allies," Arthur continues, and falls silent. He shifts on his feet. Alfred waits for another minute, seeing whether or not Arthur would say anything more. He doesn't. "Dude, that was terrible." Alfred almost laughs at the offended look Arthur tries not to give him. "If you're asking for help, you're gonna have to actually ask. I'm not psychic, I don't know what you want." "Lord, you are making this far too painful for me and enjoying it, aren't you?" Alfred frowns. "No, I'm just doing things the proper way." My way. "Fine. I am here to ask if you would assist Britain in her campaign against Germany." Alfred looks at Arthur with an expectant look, but nothing comes. "Well, if that's the best you can do... I guess we can send some weapons or food or something," he says with a shrug, and then takes his feet off the desk. He plasters a smile on his face and picks up a pen, ready to go back to reading his documents. "If that's all, have a nice day and have a nice war, I'll tell-" "Alfred, I'm asking for help, please, how clear can I make this?" Arthur's frustration bubbles up. "Well, there we go, you need help, but you haven't told me what kinda help. You gotta be specific, how should I know what you mean?" "God, I don't know, Britain needs your help! I - Alfred, please, I need your help, the Germans are bombing London, who knows if there'll be anything left tomorrow morning? You're a powerful country, your economy has recovered at flash speed, I am helpless - Europe is helpless, Francis, Lars, Emma, they're all - Ludwig is far too good at this, I'm afraid if we wait any longer there will be no Britain to speak of!" Alfred is silent for a minute. "Damn, you really need my help." Arthur manages not to roll his eyes, and Alfred gives him credit for it. He knows that if the positions were switched, he'd probably have punched Arthur in the face already. "Okay, I'll help you, but you gotta do this on my terms, okay?" Alfred stands up, his face set in a rather uncharacteristic grin. Arthur doesn't pay attention to that. "What more do you want? For me to grovel at your feet and revere you as our saviour?" Arthur asks, his sarcastic tone slipping from his wounds and desperation. "Nah, I'm not that greedy. I just wanna make sure that nothing is left to chance. We have to coordinate to the last man if we want to make this quick and painless. Painless for us, I mean," Alfred laughs. "We need this done quick and clean, and we really can't leave anything - anything - up for debate or whatever, and we need to function with perfect coordination. I'm saying I don't want you to shoot down my propositions, and consider my strategies." "Oh." Arthur thinks for a moment. "We... we would be very grateful to receive your help."

"Good, guess I have to get to work then. Don't worry, I’ll be your hero and save you from the clutches of evil!" Alfred smiles, and it's as if there's something he's not telling. Arthur doesn't ask because London might be in ruins, and he doesn't have time notice the gaslight gaze that follows him out the door.

FEBRUARY 1942 - MOSCOW, RUSSIA "Listen, man, you gotta like trust me, 'kay? You can't win this war on your own, and we're on your side!" Alfred explains with a wide grin. Arthur stands off to the side, preferring to stay away from the young nation's idiocies. "I am not involved in the war in Europe, you must understand that, Alfred." Alfred sours. "Damn it, Ivan, I'm tryna help all of us. But you gotta help me too. Listen, I'll help you with Japan all you want, if you help me with Luddy boy over here. Fair deal, Yao's being run over by a little island, your east is under attack, so I'll pop in from the south and boom, three-sided attack and Kiku's done for. Problem sorted. Now remains Ludwig in the west, who's gettin' awful itchy about this business. I can just feel him wanting to get a look at Moscow." Alfred sees the look crossing Ivan's eyes, and knows he's won. "A-ha! You know it too! See? We double-attack him, war on two fronts, by Ludwig. The Italians aren't a problem, Berlin falls and Rome's ours straight off. Yeah?" Ivan raises an eyebrow, but doesn't answer. Arthur sits down. It seemed like it would calm down from here. "C'mon, pretty please, I ain't gonna beg, but this should make it an awful lot shorter and easier for the three of us." As an afterthought, Alfred looks at Arthur. "The four of us. So if you wanna help, do, but if ya wanna suffer for another... I don't know, three-four-five years or something, be my guest, I got all the time in the world." Alfred leans in and his voice drops to a sound only Ivan can hear. "Mister Uptight over there and your Lil' Sisters over at yours, on the other hand, may not." Alfred stands back up, and throws on his coat. It's a brand new, shiny, bomber jacket. "So, ya know, your pick. See ya 'round!" Alfred is moving out the door, and Arthur is more than confused at the hasty departure. They're not even at the door before Ivan speaks. "Fine. I will help. Merely because it will make matters much easier for me." Ivan stands, and opens a door to another study. "We can talk in here." "Sweet!" And Alfred follows Ivan in, but when Arthur tries to, he's barred entry by an apologetic Alfred. "Sorry, but this'll be easier if it's just me an' him, you see?" And he gives a flash of a smile before he closes the door on Arthur. He turns to Ivan. "What do you want, then?" "You promised to help with Japan. Why should I want anything more?" Ivan asks with a glint in his cold eyes. Alfred looks at him with an less-than-amused gaze. "'Cause you're you, and it's never a simple yeah/no with you?" "Europe." "You're gonna have to be more specific." "I want Europe," Ivan states, his tone simplistic. "Hah, you're funny, but you're really having some sky-high delusions of grandeur with that if you think I'm just gonna-" "I know what you're planning, Alfred, and I will have a share in that world of yours." Alfred's eyes narrow. "Why are you so sure?" "Because you need me to help you crush Ludwig. Sure, you can bomb him to the ground - but that is against your twisted 'hero' ideology, isn't it? You need other nations - like Arthur - to believe you are the 'good guy' for as long as possible for your plan to work properly. You need me to defeat Ludwig, and you need both Yao and me to make Kiku's fall swift and quick. I know your scientists are close to that weapon, but know that so are mine. And when I do have it, you will not find it easy to take the rug from under my feet."

"How do you know what I'm planning? Why would I plan anything?" Ivan grins. Alfred is almost too sweet with this pretense. "Every country knows you were nothing short of displeased towards your leaders after '29 and their attempts to blame you. Yao and I both know something happened, during the Depression, and now you're here with an aggressive foreign policy, having all but taken control of the British Empire, and you are planning on taking power for yourself. Japan's attack on Pearl Harbor only cemented your alliance with Britain and the sentiment of revenge back home - they merely attacked because you were preparing to do the exact same. That's why you support that growing revolution, isn't it? It's your opportunity to dismantle your government and put a new one in place." "A new government would not do anything for me, doesn't change a thin-" Ivan chuckles. "It does, especially if you're trying to put yourself into power. Remember, Alfred, that most other nations - especially Yao and I - have seen this before. Have tasted power, felt the craving, and seen what it does to a nation. If you're sure it will work, no-one will or can stop you. But denying it is useless. That craving? I can see it in front of my own eyes." He looks straight at Alfred. Alfred's expression is much darker than it had been, but he tries to conceal it. He looks away before turning back to Ivan with deadpan eyes. "Fine, you can have half of Europe until Germany," Alfred concedes with a wave of his hand. "All or nothing, Jones, that's the bargain." Alfred's lip thins, and he shoves his hands into his pockets. He watches Ivan's cool eyes before huffing. "We don't have to settle on terms right now. Jus' help me, and I'll help you, and we can just sort this out once it's over with." Ivan leans against his desk. "Ah." He shakes his head in amusement. "So that is how you wish to go about it." Alfred looks affronted. "Don't know what the hell you mean, Braginsky, but I don't need to." He turns to leave. "This ain't over, but we'll put this on hold for now. See ya 'round." "You most certainly will." Alfred leaves, and Ivan waits only until he hears the American and his lapdog leave to call Yao. The Chinese man would most likely be interested in the underhanded imperialism Alfred was so obviously full of. And yet, Ivan had the feeling Alfred had been planning on his noticing it. Perhaps there was something more to that look of pure desire for worldwide hegemony in his eyes than he had let on.

MAY 1945 - BERLIN, GERMANY The city around them lays in ruins, a shadow of what the grand European capital used to be. Buildings torn apart by bombs, dropped from the sky, streets deserted as people had either been evacuated or killed; nothing living remains except the two men standing in a large square. Neither of these men pay attention to their surroundings, one because he cannot bear the sight, the thought of his capital in such a desolate state, the other because he has no interest in anything more than the man kneeling in front of him at the end of his rifle and the other man who isn't there yet. "Will you or will you not, kill me, Russia?" Ludwig asks, his voice strained and verging on irritated. How long had they been in this position, in complete silence? He's not sure any more. "I precisely told him to meet us – rather, me – here, today. His troops are nowhere to be seen or heard, and I doubt he's anywhere closer than wherever they are." There's a dangerous undertone in Ivan's voice. "It is a pity for you, seeing how he most likely would have been kinder on you than I will be." A hint of a smile creeps up on Ivan's lips, and Ludwig tries his best not to think of it. "I recognise my mistake, Russia. I do. Believe me." He isn't pleading. "I have no reason to believe you at all, after all you were so very keen on breaking our agreement – remember?" "You were already allied with the United States and Britain!" Ludwig tries not to shout, but there's a mild sense of panic mingling with all the other feelings that came with the end of a war as a defeated power. "Technicalities – I had, at no point, intervened in your deeds nor had I attacked you. I am not a forgiving man, and you must know that already. If you do not," Ivan chuckles darkly, "you will find that out very soon. Ludwig looks at him expectantly, but Ivan merely grins. "If you come quietly, I will have no need to cause you harm. I would hate to employ any more force than I absolutely have to, this war has been very costly already, don't you think?" He snarls, and Ludwig almost flinches. "Stand." Ivan takes a step back and allows Ludwig some space. Dust clings to the creases in his worn uniform, and Ivan finds the sight an amusing change from what he remembers from the summer of 1939. Ivan shouts for his men, who come and surround the German with guns pointed straight at him. Ivan smiles. "If you'll follow me, I have many things to do – the first and foremost of them being marching West and driving aw- meeting America's troops." He can see from the look in Ludwig's eyes that he knows that he's done nothing but jump from a bad situation to a worse one.

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verdigrisprowl · 7 years

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Oct 9 Dancitron Movie Night - Matrix: Revolutions

Prowl feels accomplished; not only did he make it through the movie emotionally intact, he even managed to keep talking while barely faltering during one of the scenes that scratched at one of his trauma triggers.

After the movie Soundwave showed Prowl where his optical sensors are in alt-mode and Prowl subtly confirmed that his light bar does function as optics, making Soundwave the first person he’s informed. Their trust exercises look weird.

ItsyBitsySpyers 7:56 pm *Soundwave has made himself quite comfortable on his usual seat, one feeler propping his legs up, the other serving as combination pillow for himself and head scratcher for the Ravage on the couch's arm.* Me 7:58 pm *appears, checks to ensure that his usual spot is free, nods hello to Ravage since he's nearby, and sits.* Swoop 7:59 pm *slides into the room, still LITERALLY smoking hot* Purgatori 7:59 pm *Does Ratchet even want to know what you did, Swoop* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:00 pm *Soundwave bobs his helm hello at Prowl and glances over in Ratchet's direction. That's a new fa-- oh Primus, Swoop's smoking.*

[[Do that outside.]] [[Greetings, Ratchet.]] Purgatori 8:01 pm "Soundwave." *Theres another glance at Swoop, and then a soft sigh and an optic roll* Swoop 8:01 pm *has no idea what Soundwave is 'talking' about and skitters around the room* Bird! *is a very real risk of setting off any sprinkler system in here* boomtank 8:01 pm ((rabbit, what did you do? ItsyBitsySpyers 8:02 pm [[Bird is outside.]] Lies. [[If you want to find her, you have to look for her.]] Purgatori 8:02 pm *pulls out a fire blanket and rubbs Swoop down* Swoop 8:02 pm *dives for the door but is intercepted* ????????????? *so much wiggles* Purgatori 8:03 pm *Ratchet isnt smiling, no hes not* *Releases Swoop* "There." Bevel 8:04 pm *got a makeover between movie nights like y'do* Swoop 8:04 pm *FLAILS right into a heap on the floor* boomtank 8:05 pm -wanders in, looking vaguely out of it- Purgatori 8:05 pm *Puts blanket away, returns to his corner spot* Swoop 8:05 pm *giggles to himself then POPS up and rushes out the door to find Bird* Bevel 8:05 pm Was Swoop dirty? Me 8:05 pm *Hm. Two new people here tonight.* Swoop 8:05 pm *is dirty all day every day* Me 8:06 pm *Oblivious to the fact that one of the new people is an old people.* Purgatori 8:06 pm I did not want him to set the sprinklers off. I have given up on giving him a bath. Swoop 8:06 pm *is a stinky boy all over the roof of Dancitron, this is not what you told him Soundwave, where is Bird???* Bevel 8:07 pm *that's a perfectly normal reaction to her picking a new frame, Prowl* ...Sprinklers? Was he on fire? *and she missed it? boo* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:08 pm ((OKAY back had to fill in new guest 😄 )) Purgatori 8:08 pm When is he not on fire, is the correct question. He is a Dinobot. He catches himself and half the Ark on fire most of the time. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:09 pm *Bird appears at the roof and looks at Swoop.* {{What you upping here for? Go inside, is movie.}} Purgatori 8:09 pm Also, it has come to my attention I do not know who you are. I am Ratchet. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:09 pm ((FIVE MINUTE WARNING grab snacks)) Swoop 8:09 pm Looking for Bird!! Keheh It WORK Bevel 8:09 pm *hums* Side effect of breathing fire. Me 8:09 pm ((*has fooded and is ready*)) Bevel 8:10 pm ((*also has food as you well know* boomtank 8:10 pm ((-is working on blog-)) ItsyBitsySpyers 8:11 pm ((OKAY LEMME THINK NOW warnings warnings... uhh violence and blood, probably some cursing, one of the nightclubs has got fetish gear and stuff going, early 2000s Edginess, discussion of self harm annnnd i feel like I'm forgetting something but it won't come to mind so yeah)) Purgatori 8:12 pm *slips into a seat* boomtank 8:12 pm -going to sit somewhere he can and try to focus- Swoop 8:13 pm *follows after Bird, whether that be to the movies or not he genuinely doesn't care* Bevel 8:13 pm ((I like the warning for early 2000 edge. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:14 pm *She's definitely going inside. And sitting by Blaster. Because Swoop will follow and it's funny.* Bevel 8:14 pm *Bevel will look for twins before she decides on a seat* boomtank 8:14 pm -curious glance over at Laserbeak- ItsyBitsySpyers 8:14 pm *Twins are on their own seat; Bevel is welcome to join.* Swoop 8:14 pm *is apparently going to be by Blaster now* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:14 pm ((WE'RE DOIN THIS)) Bevel 8:15 pm *she will do just that, budge over lil bits* boomtank 8:15 pm -waitwhatno- ItsyBitsySpyers 8:15 pm @P: (txt): Reminder: Agent Smith invasion: continued theme. Swoop 8:15 pm *sprawls out, wings everywhere, watching Bird* Purgatori 8:15 pm *rolls eyes at Swoop* Me 8:16 pm @S «Noted.» *He didn't expect anything else.* boomtank 8:16 pm -shoves at Swoop- Hey! Swoop 8:16 pm *immediately digs in when he's shoved and snaps his head to stare at Blaster* boomtank 8:17 pm Could you scoot over a bit? Swoop 8:17 pm No boomtank 8:17 pm ..... ItsyBitsySpyers 8:17 pm *Laserbeak cackles quietly to herself.* boomtank 8:17 pm You're literally on top of me Swoop 8:18 pm *literally any volume of Bird laughing is encouragement in Swoop's book* Yah. boomtank 8:18 pm I'm not part of the seating ItsyBitsySpyers 8:18 pm ((gdit my audio glitched. one sec)) Purgatori 8:19 pm *Why does this mech look like a holoform of Megatron* Swoop 8:19 pm Keh! Dinobot sit aaaaaaaanywhere boomtank 8:19 pm Yes, sure, but not on me Swoop 8:19 pm Yah on you Purgatori 8:19 pm [[ oh my god the little bing saying ur friends with someone sounds like an airplane]] boomtank 8:20 pm ((hehe Purgatori 8:20 pm *soft chuckles under his breath at Blaster* boomtank 8:20 pm No, not on me. Off. Swoop 8:20 pm No boomtank 8:20 pm Get off. Swoop 8:20 pm Make me boomtank 8:20 pm Seriously? Swoop 8:20 pm *chuckles with flames in his throat* Purgatori 8:20 pm Swoop, no. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:20 pm [[Laserbeak.]]

{{Boooooo.}} She pats Swoop on the wing. {{You move, not on Blastbutt.}} Purgatori 8:21 pm *rubs his face tiredly* Swoop 8:21 pm *sits up, optics wide, and blinks at Laserbeak* ???? Move? ItsyBitsySpyers 8:21 pm {{Yes, yes. No bumping. Bird only.}} boomtank 8:21 pm -scrubs at his face- ItsyBitsySpyers 8:22 pm [[The Oracle hu-- program is different.]] boomtank 8:22 pm -he's too tired/frazzled/out of it for this- ItsyBitsySpyers 8:22 pm *Interested lean* Me 8:22 pm ... Is it? Swoop 8:22 pm *sliiiiiiiiiides away from Blaster, clearly off put and pouting* boomtank 8:22 pm Thank you ItsyBitsySpyers 8:23 pm [[It is.]] He turns to Prowl and shows the different voice prints on his screen - without sound, so as not to interrupt the movie. Swoop 8:23 pm Meh meh meh ItsyBitsySpyers 8:23 pm *Laserbeak pats Swoop's arm and trills. A good minion.* Swoop 8:24 pm .... *okay he's good now* <3 Me 8:24 pm *... Okay, he supposes those look different.* boomtank 8:25 pm -just realizing he has no idea what is going on in the movie- ItsyBitsySpyers 8:26 pm //Sounds like Functionist scrap.// Purgatori 8:26 pm *unsettled ruffling of plating* boomtank 8:26 pm ..... Swoop 8:26 pm *picks his seat, this is so talky, blah* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:27 pm {{It fight later, you see.}} Bevel 8:27 pm I like those programs. Swoop 8:27 pm Us watch ALL fighting movie next, Bird! ItsyBitsySpyers 8:28 pm {{Nooo, next week Vulcan week. Week after, that big fighting, war, gods.}} Swoop 8:29 pm What Vulcan week means? Bevel 8:29 pm Aliens. Purgatori 8:29 pm Oh. I know Vulcans ItsyBitsySpyers 8:29 pm *Soundwave perks.* Bevel 8:31 pm Vulcans are neat but I like Klingons best so far. And Odo. Purgatori 8:31 pm Klingons. Why is it always Klingons Me 8:31 pm ... Know them personally? Or by reputation? Swoop 8:31 pm *transforms in to robotmode and pulls a well nibbled goodie out of subspace to gnaw on* Bevel 8:31 pm *grins and sticks her tongue out at Ratchet* Purgatori 8:32 pm [unimpressed stare at bevel] Me 8:33 pm @S «... I'm confused, let me make sure I have all this straight.» Bevel 8:33 pm Klingons are warriors! They fight for honor and stuff. Even if bat'leths would be really bad weapons in real life. Purgatori 8:33 pm There is no way that these humans are moving like this Me 8:34 pm @S «There are three worlds; the machine world, the Matrix—both of which are digital—and the physical world. That train goes between the two digital worlds. Correct?» Purgatori 8:34 pm Damnit Bevel, im a doctor, not a warrior. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:34 pm *Frenzy LAUGHS* Swoop 8:34 pm Me SWOOP am warrior!! *about falls over himself to announce this fact to the room* Bevel 8:35 pm I think the doctor is human. Purgatori 8:35 pm He is human. Me 8:35 pm You missed the first two movies, Ratchet. They AREN'T moving like that. Most of this movie takes place in a virtual world. Their minds are plugged into a video game, more or less. boomtank 8:35 pm .....? Purgatori 8:35 pm A video game. Of course. Swoop 8:35 pm Game? Game! Us play game instead of boring talk movie! Bevel 8:36 pm Than you can be the human doctor and I can be the Klingon warrior and everyone is happy. 😄 Purgatori 8:36 pm A neck brace? What is she doing out of themedbay? Swoop 8:36 pm ((This early 2000s edge is killing me)) Purgatori 8:37 pm Someone get that woman a better fitting shirt boomtank 8:37 pm ...I am...kinda...lost Swoop 8:37 pm ((everyone on screen thinks they are so fucking cool good lord XD)) Me 8:37 pm @S «So. WHICH way were the two adult programs and their offspring trying to go? To the Matrix, right? Then... were they coming BACK from the machine world? Why, if they'd met with the man here, who's in the Matrix, not the machine world? And they said that only the child could stay in the Matrix, correct? So why were the other two accompanying her?» Swoop 8:37 pm *slides down in his seat like every word is physically weighting this poor flaplingdown* *he's going to get crushed someone save him from the talk* Purgatori 8:38 pm *Be strong, Swoop. Be strong for Bird* boomtank 8:38 pm ....... Swoop 8:38 pm KEHEHHE Her good Her KICK no more talk talk talk talk Bevel 8:39 pm *laughs* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:40 pm @Prowl: (txt): Machine world: not digital. Machine world shares human physical world, area: separate. There, machines, programs: created. Obsolete machines: recalled, deleted-destroyed.

Train permits connection, travel deep into Matrix, entity base preservation. Alternative: Old Matrix into New Matrix. These, exiles, hunted - Keymaker, ghosts, Sati program. boomtank 8:40 pm -still has no idea what is going on, and kinda going back to his data-pad now- Swoop 8:40 pm ((God so much of these movies rest on the shoulders of Trinity's powerful, knowing love being a force everyone must recognize and she just...)) Purgatori 8:40 pm *soft frown* Me 8:40 pm @S «... Programs can't be in the physical world. They're programs.» @S «Do the programs have physical bodies?» Purgatori 8:42 pm *this hits really close to home* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:42 pm @P: (txt): Physical bodies: machines. Digital bodies: programs. When through train, programs:... camouflaged. Machine control: removed. Swoop 8:43 pm *paws at Bird's wing* Me Swoop like, uh, like on YouTube, slow-- Slow Mo Bros. Us watch shoot stuff in slow motion EXPLODE kehhhehhhhe watch that instead of talk talk TALK movie! Me 8:43 pm *These are digital projections of their identities. For her to have been INTERNALLY changed so much she can't even recognize herself...* boomtank 8:43 pm -so very very lost- *His fuel tank twists.* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:44 pm {{Swoop want going room, watch them? Not stay here?}} Swoop 8:44 pm Me Swoop want to hang out with Bird : > Purgatori 8:45 pm *soft stare* Me 8:46 pm @S «... The Source. That's what I meant by machine world. They speak of a source that programs go to and come. They treat it like it's different from the physical world.» Bevel 8:46 pm Uh-oh. Me 8:47 pm @S «The train DIDN'T go to the source? It went back and forth from the physical world and the Matrix. Why were three programs going back and forth? The child had obviously been made IN the Matrix, even if the other two had physical machine bodies it was likely she did not, how could she have left?» Me 8:48 pm @S «...The programs CAN'T have physical bodies. If they did, they couldn't be refugees inside the Matrix, because the machines on the outside could just destroy their physical bodies. Right?» Purgatori 8:48 pm Oh no ItsyBitsySpyers 8:50 pm @P: (txt): ...Perhaps Sati: machine world creation without physical form? Program written there, noticed, smuggled into Matrix. Existence similarity... Tarantulas' AI? Me 8:50 pm *Goes still as he tries not to think about how all of those were people.* Purgatori 8:51 pm *Freezes* *clutches arms so tight plating creaks* Me 8:51 pm @S «That's what I'm saying. She doesn't have a physical form. There have to be—» ItsyBitsySpyers 8:51 pm *...Now, Prowl, he expects. Ratchet's reaction is new.* Bevel 8:51 pm *gasps* boomtank 8:51 pm ................ Me 8:51 pm @S «... Have to be programs without physical forms.» Swoop 8:51 pm *looks upside down at Ratchet* ?? boomtank 8:52 pm -Blaster is now leaving the room, byyyye- Swoop 8:52 pm *FLOPS ON HIS BELLY AND CONQUERS THE ENTIRE SOFA* *SWOOP WINS AT SITTING* Purgatori 8:54 pm *forces himself to release his arms, theres a slight tremble to his hands now* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:56 pm @P: (txt): Then this... term. Secret upload. Machine creators entered Matrix - this, allowed - encountered Merovingian. Deal created. Creators re-entered physical world, gathered secret program, uploaded all selves. Train: secret path into Matrix. After Sati: delivered, safe, creators returned. Other machines: without knowledge. boomtank 8:56 pm -Yes, Swoop, the entire sofa is yours. Blaster has vacated entierly- ItsyBitsySpyers 8:56 pm *Soundwave nods to Blaster, who appears to be leaving. These ARE difficult films to get through.* Me 8:56 pm @S «... Makes sense.» Purgatori 8:56 pm *clenches fist tightly* *scrubs at his faceplates* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:57 pm [[Are you well, doctor?]] Swoop 8:57 pm *kicks his feet absentmindedly and chirps to himself* boomtank 8:57 pm -quick and absent wave at Soundwave as he passes- Me 8:57 pm *Glances over?* Purgatori 8:57 pm Im fine. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:58 pm [[...We do have a bar.]] *If Ratchet needs to drown something out.* Purgatori 8:59 pm *slowly stands, shaking out clenched plating* Swoop 8:59 pm *notices Ratchet going and stares at him all the way* Purgatori 8:59 pm Can I help you, Swoop? Swoop 8:59 pm Hi Purgatori 9:00 pm Hello Bevel 9:00 pm *frowns worriedly at Ratchet before looking back at the movie* Swoop 9:00 pm *waves* boomtank 9:00 pm -might be back. Later. Lots later- ItsyBitsySpyers 9:00 pm *As you need, Blaster.* Purgatori 9:00 pm [i dont actually know much about the bar do i need to pay for things] ItsyBitsySpyers 9:01 pm ((payment is just bartering, trading interesting or useful things/data)) ((that's just the booze; snacks are out in the open and free)) Purgatori 9:01 pm [[wjat tje hell does ratchet have thats interesting]] ItsyBitsySpyers 9:01 pm ((data on his timeline)) Swoop 9:01 pm *chews on the arm of the couch* Purgatori 9:01 pm *Glances at the bar, walks by swoop and gently whaps him on the helm* Stop that Swoop 9:02 pm !!! :V What stop? Purgatori 9:02 pm I will sit on you, Swoop Swoop 9:02 pm No! Kehehh. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:02 pm [[He likes the Niobe human.]] [[She has a sharp glossa.]] Purgatori 9:02 pm Couches are not for chewing. Swoop 9:03 pm Me Swoop chewing couch : > Purgatori 9:03 pm Do you need a chewtoy. I have one that squeaks Swoop 9:03 pm *grabby hands* Purgatori 9:03 pm ....is he talking like that other human Swoop 9:03 pm *GRABBY HANDS* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:03 pm [[The Smith Agent? Yes.]] [[He bears a copy in his mind.]] Purgatori 9:04 pm *pulls out chewtoy* Swoop 9:04 pm !!! Purgatori 9:04 pm Do you promise not to chew on the couch. Swoop 9:04 pm No : > Dinobots chew EVERYTHING Purgatori 9:04 pm Then no chewtoy Swoop 9:05 pm ????????? Purgatori 9:05 pm *subspaces it* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:05 pm [[Dinobots will stick to chewing themselves instead of his property if they wish to visit his deployers.]] Purgatori 9:05 pm Thank you, Soundwave. Swoop 9:05 pm *what? is? happening???? he just?? wants?? to BITE????* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:05 pm *Bets Ratchet's not had to say THAT before.* Purgatori 9:05 pm *You would be surprised* Swoop 9:06 pm *chitters at Bird* Purgatori 9:06 pm *Now, thanking Megatron was an experience Ratchet never wants to repeat* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:07 pm @Prowl: (txt): Prowl's decision, Neo departure intention? Hypothetical situation. Bevel 9:07 pm *only Megatron worth thanking is a negative polarity one* Swoop 9:07 pm *is sooooooo sad you guys* *for real* Me 9:07 pm @S «... I wasn't paying close enough attention.» Purgatori 9:07 pm *softly clenches fist* *walks back to his table* Swoop 9:08 pm *chirp* *chirp* *chirp* *chirp* *chirp* Bevel 9:09 pm ((this actor is really good dang ItsyBitsySpyers 9:09 pm @P: (txt): Machines approach human city. Humans intended return. Neo wanted own ship, purpose: approach machine city. This, impossible; captain protested, refused, reason: ship, manpower waste. Other captain shared ship. Swoop 9:10 pm *chirp* *chirp* *chirp* Purgatori 9:10 pm *throws a wrench at swoop* Swoop 9:10 pm !!! KEHHEHHEHHHEHHHH ItsyBitsySpyers 9:10 pm *Laserbeak snatches it out of the air with a feeler. And subspaces it. This is hers now.* Swoop 9:10 pm Ow! *is clearly entertained and not hurt* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:10 pm [[No violence. That is the first rule. Consider this your only warning.]] [[He will bridge you both.]] Swoop 9:10 pm *grins at Bird* Me 9:11 pm @S «Wouldn't be able to...» Purgatori 9:11 pm Apologies Swoop 9:11 pm You Bird FAST fighter! ItsyBitsySpyers 9:11 pm {{Bird BEST fighter.}} boomtank 9:11 pm -peers back in- !!!! Swoop 9:12 pm Better than GRIMLOCK? ItsyBitsySpyers 9:12 pm ((THAT'S the other thing i was gonna warn for. flashing. my bad)) Me 9:12 pm @S «... Wouldn't be able to decide without a, a thorough knowledge. Of the forces—that the machines were throwing at Zion, the forces the... humans were able to muster... the forces facing them in the machine city, and—and the objective they're pursuing in the machine city.» boomtank 9:12 pm -BAD timing- Me 9:13 pm *Hah. HAHH. He was able to speak the entire way through Smith visually puppetting someone else.* Purgatori 9:13 pm *plating pulls tight to his frame* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:13 pm *Good, because partial distraction was his goal.* Swoop 9:13 pm Ratchet boomtank 9:13 pm -back to being out of the room- Swoop 9:14 pm Ratchet. Me Swoop want toy now. Purgatori 9:14 pm *stares at Swoop* Swoop 9:14 pm *stares back* Bevel 9:14 pm *shifts uncomfortably* Purgatori 9:15 pm I could fix that, make it slimmer. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:15 pm @Prowl: (txt): Fair. Perhaps once answers: gathered.

Lean accepted? Purgatori 9:15 pm The waste of power they have making it large and showey is ridiculous Swoop 9:15 pm Ratchet Purgatori 9:15 pm Thats my name, its already worn out Swoop 9:15 pm Me Swoop WANT toy now ItsyBitsySpyers 9:16 pm [[...These remind him of the Ripley human.]] [[He likes her better.]] Me 9:16 pm *It wasn't a distraction, it was a TEST. And Prowl passed. He's getting stronger.* Bevel 9:16 pm Ripley was awesome. Purgatori 9:16 pm *pulls toy out of subspace* I actually know that one. Swoop 9:16 pm *peep* Purgatori 9:16 pm With the ones who bleed acid. *moves closer to Swoop, tucks toy in his hands* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:17 pm [[Yes. Everyone should know that one. And the others. They are excellent.]] Swoop 9:17 pm *reaches* Purgatori 9:17 pm My favorite is the second one. Alien...s? ItsyBitsySpyers 9:18 pm [[Correct. With a]] Tiniest hesitation. [[Xenomorph Queen.]]

[[You have good taste, Bevel.]] *Now to see if the Niobe human pilots as well as she claims.* Bevel 9:18 pm *grins* Course I do. Purgatori 9:18 pm *holds out toy towards Swoop* They are naked Swoop 9:19 pm *SNATCHES up the toy* Purgatori 9:19 pm *soft engine rumble, that was rude, boy* Swoop 9:19 pm *is a rude boy* Purgatori 9:19 pm *ruffles helm* boomtank 9:19 pm -peers back in again- ItsyBitsySpyers 9:19 pm \\HA! LOOKIT THAT DRILL. HOT DAMN.\\ Swoop 9:19 pm *chatters while gnawing on the toy and leaning into helm pets* Purgatori 9:19 pm I have pulled things like that out of mechs before ItsyBitsySpyers 9:19 pm \\PERSONAL GOALS, TELL YA WHAT.\\ Purgatori 9:20 pm *scritches at swoops helm* boomtank 9:20 pm -yeah, no, he's back out again- Swoop 9:21 pm *tilts his head at the best/weirdest angle possible to ensure max scritches while he works on murdering this chew toy* Swoop 9:22 pm *mumbles incoherently around the toy* Purgatori 9:22 pm *This is where Kup would have a war story to tell* Swoop 9:23 pm *people who can read minds might know this is where swoop is calling things boring because there's no splatter and also no one flies again for some reason* Purgatori 9:23 pm These things are smart Bevel 9:24 pm Whoa. Swoop 9:24 pm Them HIT Me 9:24 pm If they were smarter they'd have known that maneuver made them a concentrated target. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:24 pm ((i was shooing the cat, what maneuver/what's smart)) Purgatori 9:24 pm Some died, but they managed to take out a military outpost Swoop 9:25 pm Them all fly apart Then hard to shoot All everywhere Me 9:25 pm They could have taken it out with less deaths if they'd started out separately and timed their flights so that they would collide at the same spot at the same time despite coming from different directions. Swoop 9:25 pm Or go in between Me 9:25 pm If they'd been shaped like a funnel instead of a worm. Purgatori 9:25 pm *vauge hand gestures, this is where Prowl knows more about things* Swoop 9:26 pm Them noodles not very good fighting. Them just headbutt. Bite? No long distance weapon! Dumb. Me Swoop could melt soooo much EVERYTHING same path. boomtank 9:27 pm -okay, no, this time he's gonna come back in and sit where he can.- Purgatori 9:27 pm This one looks like Ripley in the third installment Swoop 9:27 pm Bird much much better fighting ZAPPING than those thing! Because shoot. : > Me 9:28 pm ((very belated reply: all the squids started flying together in a stream and rammed into the control center where the humans were directing the battle to knock it over.)) Swoop 9:28 pm Bird better GRABBER than them too! Purgatori 9:28 pm *soft chuckling* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:28 pm ((OH YEAH that part)) Swoop 9:29 pm Pff that not so bad. Me Swoop could fly that. Bird could fly that! ItsyBitsySpyers 9:31 pm *Soundwave listens to Prowl, approving of his assessment of the attack and nodding. In the meantime, Bird chitters and preens by wiggling her tiny mandibles.*

{{Bird shoot down, you melt. Straggler zapped! It good plan.}} boomtank 9:31 pm -small whine- Bevel 9:31 pm ((i missed what happened in the last few minutes, anything major? Swoop 9:31 pm *sees the mandible wiggle, SCREAMS ON THE INSIDE* Purgatori 9:31 pm [[bang bang shooty shooty]] Me 9:31 pm ((pretty much)) Bevel 9:31 pm ((i can live with missing some of that thanks boomtank 9:31 pm -so not happy- Me 9:32 pm ((the ship niobe's piloting is about to reach the dock, which the humans are pretty sure they're losing, but if she gets there in time she might be able to fire an EMP that takes out all the squids but also all the human defenses.)) Swoop 9:33 pm Me Swoop have missiles too! Not JUST fire! Missiles. *reaches around himself to tap some plating on his back that isn't easily visible with his wings laid the way they are now* Me 9:34 pm *... He's pretty sure Ironfist wrote a scene like that once.* Purgatori 9:34 pm Oh boomtank 9:34 pm -that's not good- ItsyBitsySpyers 9:35 pm //Damn good fightin'.// Swoop 9:37 pm *is suddenly more interested nonw that there's 1-on-1 happening* boomtank 9:37 pm -nervous wiggling- Swoop 9:37 pm KEH! That bad chain. Easy, easy break. Purgatori 9:37 pm ....i beleive the other humans are very dead now Swoop 9:38 pm YAH DEAD Kehhehh LOTS of dead ItsyBitsySpyers 9:38 pm *Small puff. He likes the squid things.* *Wouldn't mind a deployer kind of like them, honestly, if he could support another. Which he can't. But if he could.* Purgatori 9:38 pm *do they remind you of yourself, wave* Bevel 9:38 pm *claps for Niobe* Purgatori 9:39 pm ITs a miracel ...miracle boomtank 9:39 pm -settles- Close Swoop 9:39 pm *adds to the emotional moment by chewing loudly on the squeaky chewtoy* *squeak* *squeak* Bevel 9:39 pm *giggles* Swoop 9:39 pm *squeak* Bevel 9:39 pm *perfect timing Swoop* Purgatori 9:40 pm *snorts at whooshing* boomtank 9:40 pm . . . That's not good Purgatori 9:42 pm So...Neo is...Prime, then? ItsyBitsySpyers 9:42 pm [[...Ugh.]] Swoop 9:42 pm Human Prime???? Bevel 9:42 pm Neo is cooler. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:43 pm [[...That would make the Oracle--]] Alpha Trion. [[Hmph.]] Bevel 9:43 pm *which is saying something because Bevel doesn't think Neo is very cool* Purgatori 9:43 pm by the power vested in me, I give you sight Swoop 9:44 pm Can human be prime? Purgatori 9:44 pm ...Jack was Me 9:44 pm *That's a new tactic. What IS that?* Swoop 9:44 pm wheeljack prime?????????? Purgatori 9:44 pm No, not....not that Jack Bevel 9:44 pm Darby? Purgatori 9:44 pm Primus, that is a terrifying thought ItsyBitsySpyers 9:44 pm [[PRIMUS FORBID, Swoop.]] Swoop 9:44 pm *uncontrollable, full body shaking laughter* Purgatori 9:45 pm Lets...never speak of this to him, shall we ItsyBitsySpyers 9:45 pm [[Never.]] Purgatori 9:45 pm The power of Love will overcome anything Swoop 9:45 pm Wheeljack is Prime then maybe MORE DINOBOTS kehehhehhhhhehhhh Purgatori 9:46 pm No, no more Swoop 9:46 pm Yis Purgatori 9:46 pm No We have enough Swoop 9:46 pm MILLION DINOBOTS boomtank 9:46 pm ....what is THAT!? Purgatori 9:46 pm No Swoop 9:46 pm : > ItsyBitsySpyers 9:46 pm [[Bombs.]] Swoop 9:46 pm Why? boomtank 9:46 pm No, no, the thing fiering the bombs Purgatori 9:46 pm Because we have more than we can handle with you Swoop 9:46 pm Kehhehh boomtank 9:47 pm And squid things ItsyBitsySpyers 9:47 pm [[...He does not know.]] Swoop 9:47 pm Swoop is "handful" HUH? Purgatori 9:47 pm You? Who said I was talking abot you Me 9:47 pm ... I'm sorry. How does that work. How is he blowing them up. That's rubbish. Bevel 9:47 pm Magic. Me 9:47 pm No. Swoop 9:47 pm Swoop is Dinobot Purgatori 9:47 pm Are you? Swoop 9:47 pm YAH Purgatori 9:47 pm I just thought you were a spoiled sparkling. My mistake ItsyBitsySpyers 9:47 pm [[An ability to see and affect their code?]] Swoop 9:47 pm nooOOOO Me Swoop not a BABY Me Swoop am Dinobot warrior Purgatori 9:48 pm *scritches swoops helm* Swoop 9:48 pm Bomber *leans into scritches and squeaks the chew toy* Me 9:48 pm This has been purely scientifically based all the way to now, I'm going to switch to watching a fantasy right at the end. boomtank 9:48 pm Oh...and wow Purgatori 9:48 pm *His case im point* Me 9:48 pm By what mechanism does he, a human, remotely access their code? Swoop 9:48 pm Dinobots kill people : > Bevel 9:48 pm Maybe his mind is still attached to the machine world and he can do his Matrix stuff in the real world now? Purgatori 9:48 pm The power of Love boomtank 9:49 pm ????? Windchill 9:49 pm *Arrives.* Me 9:49 pm But his "Matrix stuff" was manipulating the programming of the Matrix. The real world doesn't HAVE programming. Windchill 9:49 pm *Is he late...again?* *Wow such talent.* Purgatori 9:49 pm *Oh a new person* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:49 pm [[...Wifi?]] Purgatori 9:49 pm She is ...not doing well ItsyBitsySpyers 9:49 pm *Soft huff.* Windchill 9:49 pm *An old person excuse you.* Bevel 9:49 pm *snickers* Me 9:49 pm ......... Sure, all right. Purgatori 9:50 pm This trope is so overused ItsyBitsySpyers 9:50 pm *Soundwave flicks a hand and huffs again. That's his best g-- oh.* Bevel 9:50 pm Soundwave has the best answers. Swoop 9:50 pm ((I am blown away by how much whispertalking is in this series. Somehow I didn't process that before now)) Windchill 9:50 pm Damn, looks like I missed all of the dramatic parts. Me 9:50 pm ((whispers are edgy)) Swoop 9:50 pm *EXPLODES laughing at Trinity being impaled so many times* Purgatori 9:50 pm How is...she talking right now? Windchill 9:50 pm I didn't have anything to wear, so I came naked. Sorry. Purgatori 9:50 pm Thats not..not possible Swoop 9:51 pm Me Swoop get stab before Not TALK boomtank 9:51 pm -huffs- Swoop 9:51 pm But Firebreath Purgatori 9:51 pm Give it a rest, Neo Swoop 9:51 pm Same thing Dead Them, not Swoop kehhhehhe Windchill 9:51 pm *He gon' sit down.* Me 9:51 pm (("yes i can." you can do anything you set your mind to trinity, i believe in you.)) Purgatori 9:51 pm *wow this ....this hurts. More than he wants it to* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:51 pm [[She IS carrying on well for a meat creature with so many punctures.]] Purgatori 9:52 pm *he might have to leave* Swoop 9:52 pm *bored now, chewtoy time* *squeak* *squeak* *squeak* Windchill 9:52 pm She's taking a long time to die. *Crosses his legs.* *At least it's not green.* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:52 pm [[...What she really wanted to say was "kiss me"?]] Purgatori 9:52 pm *yep hes heading to the door* Bevel 9:52 pm ((kiss me goodbye~ Windchill 9:53 pm He sucked the life right out of her, like a vampire! Purgatori 9:53 pm [[IF YOU LOVE ME LET ME GOOOOOOOO]] Me 9:53 pm @S «... Is that weird?» Windchill 9:53 pm Nobody told me this was about vampires! Swoop 9:53 pm *is confused by the sudden lack of headscritches but has a mouthful of chewtoy preventing him from words right now* Purgatori 9:53 pm *slowly walks back into the room, sits down heavily on the couch, he will make u move, swoop* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:53 pm @P: (txt:) ...What, weird? Me 9:54 pm @S «That what she wanted to say was "kiss me"?» Swoop 9:54 pm *is busy sitting by Bird, clearly the world should revolve around him.... or in this case around Bird* Windchill 9:54 pm *Cups his chin in his hands, preparing for the no doubt thrilling conclusion.* *Furrows his brows.* Purgatori 9:55 pm Insecticons Windchill 9:55 pm Pfft. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:55 pm *Soundwave looks to the screen for a bit, thinking. The way she was talking, he thought she was going to come up with some big statement or secret or encouragement, or something of the sort, but...*

*Glances to Prowl.*

*Looks to the screen.*

*...Back to Prowl.*

@P: (txt): No. Not weird. Swoop 9:55 pm Burbul *comes the pitiful attempt at talking around a mouthful of chewtoy* Me 9:55 pm *slight nod.* boomtank 9:55 pm ...... Yikes Windchill 9:55 pm It looks like an angry sea urchin. *He's not intimidated* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:56 pm [[...Fascinating.]] Windchill 9:56 pm Now it looks gross. Purgatori 9:56 pm Is that...a baby Swoop 9:56 pm Not a BAAAABBYY Me 9:56 pm *Ah, a healthy, thriving mechanical city. You don't see those often in alien media.* Purgatori 9:57 pm Bargaining. When has that ever gone right for both parties Bevel 9:57 pm *wonders why all robot cities are so dreary looking in human movies* Me 9:57 pm *It's stormy out.* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:57 pm [[Bargaining has its uses.]] Purgatori 9:57 pm *snorts at that position* Swoop 9:57 pm Feelers Windchill 9:57 pm Yuck. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:58 pm *Glance without moving head.* Me 9:58 pm *Goes very still again.* Purgatori 9:58 pm Menemosurgery. Thats what this is like Windchill 9:58 pm That's yucky and I don't like it very much. Swoop 9:58 pm What mnemosurgery is? Purgatori 9:58 pm it is brain surgery, swoop. Swoop 9:58 pm *other than the biggest word a dinobot has ever said* Purgatori 9:58 pm [[ATLEAST SWOOP SAID IT RIGHT I BUTCHERED IT AHAHAHA IM TERIBBLE] Me 9:59 pm ... It's a subject that can probably wait to be covered until after the movie is over. Windchill 9:59 pm *Opens his mouth, shuts it.* Swoop 9:59 pm Ohhh brain surgery You say Next time say that Easier Kehhheh Purgatori 9:59 pm *clenches fist* *drama* *vocals* Windchill 10:00 pm I love all of this. *he waves, gesturing to encompass all of it.* Green shit. Swoop 10:00 pm KAH! Him fall bad ItsyBitsySpyers 10:00 pm [[...So many.]] Me 10:00 pm ... He thinks he's going to win because he has the Oracle's eyes. He doesn't know the Oracle can no longer predict the future with complete accuracy. Purgatori 10:00 pm Are they seekers now boomtank 10:01 pm ...what is going on? besides a big fight scene? ItsyBitsySpyers 10:01 pm ((omg i have seen this like a dozen times and i never picked that up puff)) Windchill 10:01 pm *Leans forward and rubs his temples, trying not to laugh.* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:01 pm ((i am ashaaaamed)) Swoop 10:01 pm Them not very good bombers Them no good at quick strike Them fighting in air like it ground Dumb Windchill 10:01 pm They are very good at looking silly, Swoop. Like Seekers. I would know. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:01 pm *Soundwave's plating pulls in at "the purpose of life is to end". That sounds too much like - well.* Swoop 10:01 pm Kehheheh YAH Silly Purgatori 10:02 pm *if that sentence is true...when will ratchet find peace* Windchill 10:02 pm *Nods in agreement with Swoop agreeing with him.* Purgatori 10:02 pm That is not how human anatomy works boomtank 10:02 pm That Smith guy is wrong Swoop 10:03 pm Him punch air BEFORE flying Bad ItsyBitsySpyers 10:03 pm [[Of course he is wrong.]] Bevel 10:03 pm Very wrong. Swoop 10:03 pm Soundwave, you find movie GOOD fliers fighting next time Windchill 10:03 pm *Snickers. He can't help it.* Me 10:03 pm ... It's just... Smiths, forever. Every window they pass. Has EVERY human in the Matrix...? Swoop 10:03 pm Lots of energon. Kehheheh. Broken stuff. boomtank 10:04 pm If you only look at life as an end waiting to happen, you're not living. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:04 pm [[The purpose of life is to gather experience and information, and seek to see all that is.]] Purgatori 10:04 pm Wings. He had...lightning. ...for wings Windchill 10:04 pm Kinky. Swoop 10:04 pm Me Swoop can have FIRE wings Sometimes ItsyBitsySpyers 10:04 pm [[And most likely every human. Yes.]] [[And program.]] Swoop 10:04 pm Until wind put out Windchill 10:04 pm That's cool, Swoop. Purgatori 10:04 pm I think you mean thats hot Me 10:04 pm *...* Swoop 10:04 pm Kehhehehhh Purgatori 10:05 pm *dad jokes, everyone, you heard it here first* Windchill 10:05 pm *He wasn't gonna go there, it might get taken the wrong way coming from him.* boomtank 10:05 pm .... Windchill 10:05 pm *But Whirl isn't here so he has no-one to flirt with.* Swoop 10:05 pm *licks his own arm then lets out a puff of flame to light the flammable fluid on his arm* *FIRE ARMS* Purgatori 10:05 pm Swoop Swoop 10:05 pm *well arm* Windchill 10:05 pm Heeey put that out, bucko. Purgatori 10:05 pm Why Swoop 10:05 pm That. BUT. Wings! : > Purgatori 10:06 pm Megatron and Prime Swoop 10:06 pm *holds his arm out to windchill for inspection* Windchill 10:06 pm *Fans at it with his giant yaoi hand.* Purgatori 10:06 pm *tosses fire blanket over swoops arm* *rubs at it* Swoop 10:07 pm !!! ItsyBitsySpyers 10:07 pm *It disturbs him too. The idea of, say, every single thing in his head becoming replaced with a single image. Every possible scrap of memory, every hint of identity, one thing. How horrifying.*

*And he's not the one who had his brain module tampered with and frame modified in recent memory. Prowl surely has a thousand times the discomfort.*

@P: (txt): Offer: hand? Windchill 10:07 pm Neato, but, like... Swoop 10:07 pm Ratchet Fire out : < Purgatori 10:07 pm *removes blanket* Windchill 10:07 pm Fire is an outside thing. Purgatori 10:07 pm Thank you Me 10:07 pm @S «... No.» Swoop 10:07 pm Dinobot is outside thing Me 10:07 pm *gratitude ping* Purgatori 10:07 pm Yes Windchill 10:07 pm *Nods.* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:07 pm @Prowl: (txt): Acknowledged.

*Welcoming ping.* Windchill 10:07 pm We can go outside and you can show us more cool fire stuff. Swoop 10:08 pm How come no inside fire? Wheeljack does inside fire Purgatori 10:08 pm Hes not supposed to Windchill 10:08 pm Wheeljack is disreputable and hardly a good role model. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:08 pm [[...He said "Neo."]] Bevel 10:08 pm I hope when Neo wins everyone goes back to being themselves and stops looking alike. It is really creepy. Swoop 10:09 pm Wheeljack is "dinodad" : > boomtank 10:09 pm What just.... notthisagain -covers face- Windchill 10:10 pm Fire inside isn't good, you could burn down a building. Swoop 10:10 pm YAH Purgatori 10:10 pm Fifth element did something like this Swoop 10:10 pm ((good lord I remembered New Christ being on the nose but I didn't remember the goddamn light cross with his angel wings)) boomtank 10:10 pm -pers back out to this- Purgatori 10:11 pm [[and the music]] Me 10:11 pm ... Neo was a trojan. Swoop 10:11 pm Dinobots good for burning buildings down boomtank 10:11 pm .......What in the ever loving-? Purgatori 10:11 pm Not this building, Swoop Windchill 10:11 pm What if burning buildings down isn't good? Purgatori 10:11 pm I beleive soundwave and Bird, was it? would be upset ItsyBitsySpyers 10:11 pm {{Yes. Big upset, Bird. Angry angry, shoot aft.}} Purgatori 10:11 pm *snorts* Swoop 10:11 pm nnoooOOoooOOOOOooo Swoop not DOING Purgatori 10:12 pm *someone needs to shoot his aft more often* Swoop 10:12 pm Swoop CAN burning building *bounces in place* CAN do Not DO do ((man he's lucky that he's right or he'd be some kind of asshole)) Windchill 10:12 pm (( *snorts* )) Me 10:12 pm ((right? maybe they were just retreating to refuel.)) ItsyBitsySpyers 10:12 pm *Nods to Prowl. He would have thought of Neo as a program that helps a blocked antivirus run, but the main idea is there.* boomtank 10:13 pm So...they won? Purgatori 10:13 pm *again, ouch.* Bevel 10:13 pm *thinks Prowl is talking about the Trojan army/horse but it still makes sense to her* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:13 pm [[It is a truce.]] Windchill 10:13 pm I like the bug thing. boomtank 10:13 pm -UGH- Me 10:14 pm *considering that trojan viruses were named after the army/horse, yyyyyes?* Windchill 10:14 pm *points* Cat. boomtank 10:14 pm Don't remind me Swoop 10:14 pm *offers Bird his chew toy* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:14 pm *Bird gives it a squeak with her claws* Swoop 10:14 pm : > *her claws may now smell like they were on a dirty flamethrower because y'know they were* Me 10:15 pm *... Smith DIDN'T overwrite their brains, the data is still all there. They're back to normal. They were just being puppete—* *Prowl might have preferred if they were dead.* Bevel 10:16 pm *is glad everyone is still alive* Windchill 10:16 pm That sky sure is rainbow. Purgatori 10:16 pm Skylanders Swoop 10:16 pm Us watch How To Train Your Dragon Purgatori 10:16 pm *perks up* Bevel 10:16 pm ((sudden church choir boomtank 10:17 pm -sighs- I understood very little of all that Windchill 10:17 pm That dragon has a fat head. (( *weeps for the memory of the original Spyro.* )) Purgatori 10:17 pm He reminds me of.....that one predacon. Predaking? Windchill 10:17 pm Predadingaling. Swoop 10:17 pm Me Swoop meet Predaking! Me Swoop meet Purgatori 10:17 pm Did you now Swoop 10:17 pm Meet Him YAH Purgatori 10:18 pm Did you two compare flame breath ItsyBitsySpyers 10:18 pm [[What did you not catch, Blaster?]] Swoop 10:18 pm And Darksteel and Skylynx and lots of little Predacons Nooooo *disappointed* Windchill 10:18 pm Sounds dirty. Swoop 10:18 pm Predaking is THEM king. Grimlock is Dinobot King. If them meet Them FIGHT Me Swoop want to watch kehhehhhh Windchill 10:19 pm *Scoffs, just a little.* boomtank 10:19 pm Just about everything Purgatori 10:19 pm I have to go. Thank you for the film. Bevel 10:19 pm *Bevel is gonna leave now because the mun isn't feeling too hot, night everyone* Me 10:20 pm ((gnight, feel better)) Windchill 10:20 pm (( Gnight! )) ItsyBitsySpyers 10:20 pm [[You are welcome, Ratchet.]] Purgatori 10:20 pm Have a good evening. boomtank 10:20 pm g'night!)) Swoop 10:20 pm *squeaks the toy in one long, drawn out, annoying squeak* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:20 pm [[And goodnight, Bevel.]] Windchill 10:20 pm *Makes a face at new guy's retreating backside.* boomtank 10:20 pm Then again, I've been a bit...distracted ItsyBitsySpyers 10:21 pm [[There were two films before it, and you were... busy. Tonight.]] *Glance at Swoop.* Swoop 10:21 pm *stares at Soundwave* boomtank 10:21 pm Oh. Well, that would explain Windchill 10:22 pm But can you explain...my face? boomtank 10:22 pm A metrotitan punched you ItsyBitsySpyers 10:22 pm [[He tries not to.]] Windchill 10:22 pm ... I like that explanation. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:22 pm *Oh, he liked that one. Well done, points to Blaster.* *And now, while everyone else is distracted, looks to Prowl.* Windchill 10:23 pm I must be pretty tough to have survived that and come out looking this good. Go me. boomtank 10:23 pm -snorts- Swoop 10:23 pm *stares at the chew toy and SERIOUSLY considers setting it ablaze* *it's good now but fire really could only improve this situaation* boomtank 10:23 pm Yes. Go you. Swoop 10:23 pm *the question is how long it'd still squeak before it was just goo......* Me 10:23 pm *Has an intense frown on his face.* ... Wait. boomtank 10:24 pm -so much sarcasm- Windchill 10:24 pm *Strokes his enormous chin.* Me 10:24 pm That was BEVEL? Windchill 10:24 pm I'm amazing. I mean, look at my amazing chin. Are you not amazed? ItsyBitsySpyers 10:24 pm [[...Yes?]] boomtank 10:24 pm No Windchill 10:24 pm Well, your loss. Swoop 10:24 pm *lol jk fire improves everything* Me 10:24 pm ... Oh. Swoop 10:24 pm *ignites the chewtoy while gnawing on it* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:24 pm @P: (txt): ...Prowl not aware Bevel: shapeshifter? Windchill 10:25 pm *Gives Swoop a glare with one eye. The other...is elsewhere.* boomtank 10:25 pm My loss in what department? Me 10:25 pm Which one? Because one of them looked just like Ratch— No, you called him Ratchet. Other one. Windchill 10:25 pm *Probably ogling Blaster, sorry dude.* boomtank 10:25 pm -Swoop, no, fire bad in confined areas- Me 10:25 pm Yes, I knew. I just... thought there were two new guests tonight. Usually Bevel looks like Bevel. Swoop 10:25 pm *couldn't care less, continues to chew on a screaming, burning chewtoy* Windchill 10:26 pm Well, the way I have it figured. If you're not appreciating how amazing I am, you're missing out on my sparkling personality. *Says the guy with like two friends ever.* *With good reason.* *And he knows it.* boomtank 10:26 pm I'm sure. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:26 pm *Soundwave tilts his helm.* boomtank 10:26 pm -flat tone- Windchill 10:26 pm *He's still stroking his chin.* I am very sparkly. boomtank 10:27 pm -too tired for tact- ItsyBitsySpyers 10:27 pm [[You have not been around her very often.]] [[...IS THAT SMOKE. SWOOP.]] Swoop 10:27 pm *said toy is starting to be more goo than actual toy so, now that the death squeaks are over, he spits it out on the floor to die abandoned* YUP ItsyBitsySpyers 10:27 pm *Immediately bridges Swoop and his toy OUTSIDE* Swoop 10:27 pm *WHOOSH* *is outside* : > ItsyBitsySpyers 10:28 pm [[...What was he saying.]] Windchill 10:28 pm One time I was even sparkle...sparklier...when my friend—the girlfriend that I stole—painted my nails. Swoop 10:28 pm *but the awful smells can't be bridged out, later nerds!* Windchill 10:28 pm *Thanks, Swoop. You and your smells will not be soon forgotten.* boomtank 10:28 pm You stole a girlfriend Really? Windchill 10:29 pm Yeah, apparently. It wasn't on purpose. boomtank 10:29 pm How? Windchill 10:29 pm *Palms up, shrug.* boomtank 10:29 pm You stole someone on accident Windchill 10:30 pm That's what her boyfriend said. 'Cause... I'm not sure. boomtank 10:31 pm Yikes ItsyBitsySpyers 10:31 pm [[Ah. Bevel. Yes. He... actually does not know what her base form is anymore. He knew when she was a newbuild. Hmm.]] Windchill 10:31 pm *The chin stroking slows considerably while he stares off into space, or at the nearest wall between him and space.* Me 10:32 pm ... Would THAT not be her base form, then? Windchill 10:32 pm Anyway she painted my nails and we nearly died from the fumes. boomtank 10:32 pm Your luck sounds weird ItsyBitsySpyers 10:32 pm [[It may not be.]] Windchill 10:32 pm But the sparkles were worth it. boomtank 10:33 pm ...not going to ask Me 10:33 pm ... You're saying the form she was forged with is somehow not her base form? *dryly* Do you suspect she was born already in disguise? Windchill 10:33 pm Good. *He'll leave out the part with the twerking and the ass kicking then.* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:34 pm [[He suspects she may have changed her root mode, as we do. It *has* been millions of years. ... For her.]] Me 10:34 pm ... Would a shapeshifter NEED to change their root mode? Can't they just... shift shape? Windchill 10:34 pm *Stops chin-stroking to stretch.* boomtank 10:35 pm -shakes his helm- You're weird ItsyBitsySpyers 10:35 pm *Soundwave lifts a curled hand to his face and perches his chin between two knuckles.*

[[He should have asked Makeshift more while that mech was still alive.]] Windchill 10:36 pm *Shrugs mid-extended-stretch, with a grunt for good measure.* Or maybe. Me 10:36 pm ... Is it rude to ask shapeshifters about their shapeshifting? Like talking about someone's alt-mode? Windchill 10:36 pm I'm normal. Me 10:36 pm I figure it must be, otherwise they'd be answering the same questions from different people five times a day. Windchill 10:36 pm And it's everyone else who's weird. *He knows that the idea defies the definition of "normal," shhhh.* boomtank 10:37 pm You do know what the definition of weird is, right? Windchill 10:37 pm Maybe. But that would be telling. boomtank 10:38 pm Uh-huh Windchill 10:38 pm I gotta maintain an air of.. Of.. Mystery. *Or something.* boomtank 10:39 pm And you're doing that by not saying if you know the definition to a word or not ItsyBitsySpyers 10:39 pm [[He is inclined to agree. The only ones he knew were - closed-mouthed.]] Chin tap. [[He has pull with Bevel. He will see if she would mind sharing information.]] Windchill 10:39 pm I work in mysterious ways... boomtank 10:39 pm No you don't It's not mysterious Windchill 10:40 pm I'm so mysterious you can't even comprehend it. Me 10:40 pm Not if it's rude to ask. Windchill 10:40 pm *Barely contained hysterical giggling.* *Sounds like a hog eating mud.* boomtank 10:41 pm It's boring Windchill 10:41 pm If saying so makes you feel better about it, I accept. boomtank 10:41 pm I take it back. You're not weird. You're boring. Windchill 10:41 pm Boring sounds nice. boomtank 10:42 pm -going back to his data-pad now- Windchill 10:42 pm Boring is safe, boring means that nothing goes wrong. It sounds fantastic. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:42 pm [[Then he will ask if she believes it is rude to ask first.]] Windchill 10:43 pm Anyway. *He doesn't care that he's only talking to himself at this point, not even a little.* Me 10:43 pm ... That works. Windchill 10:43 pm I must go. My wiggler, *he rests a hand on his chest, sighing dreamily for good measure.* Needs me. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:44 pm //Already? Throw 'er a snack from us.// Windchill 10:44 pm It's SLOBBERIN' TIME. I'll pass along the sentiment. And other, more edible things. *Which is everything except maybe lava, therein lies the problem and the hurry.* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:46 pm *Heh.* Windchill 10:47 pm *She already ate her uncle's action figures and tried to eat another uncle, every day is exciting!* *Someone has to manage the chaos.* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:48 pm *Soundwave suddenly pipes up again.*

[[He thought it was -asking- about alt modes that was rude. It is rude where you are from to talk about them as well?]] Because he's probably offended several people, if so. *Soundwave does not envy Windchill that job.* *His chaos rabble are bad enough and they don't eat everything. Only Ravage does.* Windchill 10:49 pm *Nobody does, but it's not thankless work.* Me 10:49 pm Just asking, primarily. If you volunteer information first, that's acceptable. And typically, volunteering information grants one's conversational partner permission to ask follow-up questions. Windchill 10:49 pm You guys have fun sitting in the dark. I gotta go sit in the dark somewhere else. With my spawn. *Gets up, and it's about time too.* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:50 pm ((why's it so quiet in here, i ask myself, before remembering that i have control of the stream and forgot to put music on)) //That's what nightlights're for.// Windchill 10:50 pm She'd probably eat them. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:51 pm //Then you'd have a glowworm. Heh.// Windchill 10:51 pm *SPITS.* *Sorry.* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:51 pm //Aw, mech, c'mon. I gotta clean that today.// Windchill 10:52 pm You caught me off guard! *Sighs dramatically.* Gimme a mop and I'll get it. *Primus knows he's used to cleaning up spit at this point, what's a little more?* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:52 pm [[Then he gives you permission to ask questions, in the future, without waiting for volunteered information. While reserving the right to keep some data to himself.]] ItsyBitsySpyers 10:54 pm //Nah, nah. Jus' owe me a drink or somethin' for all my hard 'n respectable work.// ItsyBitsySpyers 10:54 pm [[Or in the present. He assumed everything after his statement was 'future' when he said it.]] Hand flick. He's babbling. Windchill 10:54 pm That's not as funny. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:55 pm //Naw, but I get a free drink.// Windchill 10:55 pm *Scratches his chin.* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:55 pm *Chuckle* Windchill 10:55 pm Not really my area, there. I'll figure something out. *Sounds like a losing deal to him, but does he care? Nah.* Me 10:56 pm ... How do you see in your alt-mode without headlights. *It's been bugging him.* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:57 pm ((....give the mun a second to remember her HC on that one lmao)) Windchill 10:58 pm *He'll ask someone with even slightly more knowledge of drinking, later.* Byyyyyyyye, suckerrrrrrrrs. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:58 pm //Laters.// Windchill 10:59 pm *Waves, and walks out.* boomtank 11:01 pm -and as soon as Windchill is gone, he's standing up- Thanks for the movie ItsyBitsySpyers 11:01 pm [[Quite welcome. Hopefully next week you will not be so lost.]] boomtank 11:01 pm Heh. Hopefully. G'night. -and off he goes.- ItsyBitsySpyers 11:03 pm *Soundwave holds his hand up for patience (and no startled questions) from Prowl and rises. He turns to face the couch, steps forward, and uses the quick second of extra height to flip backward and into alt mode. Can't be hitting Prowl in the face with his wings, y'know.* *He slowly rotates to face Prowl and gestures with a feeler to the small black screen at the underside of his alt mode's nose.* Me 11:05 pm *Prowl leans forward to look at it.* ... That's an optical sensor? ItsyBitsySpyers 11:06 pm (txt): Affirmative. Other sensors, elsewhere. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:08 pm (txt): Wide view below. Long-range sight: excellent. Me 11:21 pm Huh. Is that the sensor itself, or is it a visor covering the real ones? ItsyBitsySpyers 11:26 pm (txt): Protective screen, unremovable. Sensors: delicate, calibrated.

The feeler suddenly twitched and spun.

(txt): Many weaknesses exposed. Prowl: trusted, safeguards. Agreed?

He didn't want Getaway knowing where to shoot to make fleeing difficult if he ever got a wild wire. Me 11:26 pm Agreed. ... I'd tell you where my alt-mode optical sensors are, but they all light up, so. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:30 pm *Soundwave tumbled forward into root mode again while Prowl talked and unfolded his arms, returning to Prowl's side.*

(txt): ...Dangerous. Bright target. How prevented, destruction? Me 11:32 pm ... Driving /around/ the bullets. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:33 pm (txt): ...Partial error commited. Headlight sensors possessed when Soundwave: vehicle.

*That flowerlike loading/processing ring makes its reappearance on his screen.*

(txt): -Around?- How? Bullets: fast. Me 11:34 pm *... belated humor tag* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:35 pm *Oh. OH. Okay. He knew Prowl's reflex limits from the space bridge tests, so he'd thought Prowl's trajectory calculations were fast enough to allow for...*

(txt): Would believe if truth. Me 11:38 pm Pff. I'm flattered. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:43 pm *Nods.*

(txt): Prowl given sympathy. Expected back optics joke number: thousands.

(txt): ...Useful, if plain sight planning. Soundwave notes. Me 11:44 pm Thousands is about right. "Plain sight planning"? ItsyBitsySpyers 11:47 pm (txt): Assume Prowl: facing wall.

*Points to the video screens.*

(txt): Conversing, partner identity: any. Behind Prowl, other table: Soundwave. There, casual gestures made. These, predesigned messages. Prowl sees, notes. Others never wise. Me 11:49 pm Hmm. *thin smirk.* Interesting. Do you want to try it? ItsyBitsySpyers 11:50 pm (txt): When? Me 11:50 pm ... Don't know. There aren't exactly many opportunities to try it out, these days. ...... And it seems like internal comms would be more efficient. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:51 pm (txt): Comms not always safe.

*Points to himself.* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:52 pm (txt): ...Clarification: -Soundwave's- comms: safe, unless alternate, equal skill present. Then, uncertain. Referenced comms: other mechs'. Me 11:53 pm *dryly* Soundwave, have you been eavesdropping on my calls to you? ItsyBitsySpyers 11:53 pm *HUFF* Me 11:53 pm You can't trust anyone these days. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:57 pm (txt): Prowl's secret: discovered. Self, Prowl, in relationship. Silence offered; required blackmail payment: deliver kiss upstairs. Me 11:58 pm Well, then. I guess I have no choice, do I? Yesterday ItsyBitsySpyers 11:59 pm *Leans back a little, now concerned.*

(txt): Prowl has choice. That, self-mocking joke. Kiss not required if not wanted. Me 12:01 am ... I was joking along. Of course I want to kiss you. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:03 am *...Nods. Yes. Right.*

(txt): Understood. Soundwave departs, destination: collection location. Reminder: Come alone.

*He's almost tempted to make a crack about police accompaniment but decides that'll spoil the mood.* Me 12:03 am Well, don't you think you should escort me? To ensure I don't go get backup? ItsyBitsySpyers 12:06 am (txt): Point accepted. Instructions: Stay close. Me 12:07 am *He'll just get to his feet and wrap an arm around Soundwave's.* ... For the record, this is about the limit of my improv roleplaying abilities. So. Don't get your hopes too high. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:08 am (txt): That, relief. Eighty alternates: plenty. Soundwave prefers self being self. *Pops open a bridge. To the apartment, this time. He wants to not be woken by the sound of shouting deployers in the morning.* Me 12:10 am *Puzzled blink. Did Soundwave think Prowl was going to try to imitate /him/ next?* ItsyBitsySpyers 12:10 am *It was the logical plot twist.* Me 12:10 am *Well, never mind that. Through the bridge—Prowl's got some blackmail to settle.* ItsyBitsySpyers 12:11 am *And off they've gone.*

#chat

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riannagalvez · 4 years

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Hello, dolls! Hello again, New York! When I said I look forward to our adventures every weekend two months ago, I really meant it. We’ve been on 4 road trips since then and now I am working on my giant packing list for our trip to the Philippines and Taiwan. I started preparing for Christmas too since I will only have a week to get everything ready after we come back from our trip. It’s going to be a hectic month but I look forward to wearing my superMom cape all month long! 😛

If there is anything I learned about being a Mom in the past three years, it is the fact that no amount of lists can prepare me for the adventitious days Motherhood will bring my way. Perfect example? A and I planned this weekend trip to New York more than a month ago but my toddler, Little A came home with another round of germs from school on Friday so the four of us are currently sniffing and coughing like we are some cracked up boy band. Luckily, I have a list of great baby products I use whenever the kids are sick. Thanks to Big City Moms for connecting Moms like me (who are still learning) to great brands that can help make things easier.

I feel fortunate to be able to bring home this many freebies for the second time this year.

I had an amazing time at the event, of course! Here are some of the brands I met. If you plan to attend someday, here’s what you can expect to see at the event.

Most products are highlighted below and linked to Amazon for your shopping convenience!

The first booth that welcomed everyone at the event was Love Love. I love to snack all day, so I am all about healthy munchies I can keep in my drawer. Plus points if I can share it with my toddler Little A! 🙂

Love Love’s energy bites are so addicting even Little A couldn’t help himself. Angelika, the great mind behind Love Love was so nice to let him sample a couple of pieces.

My simple joys! Don’t you just hate it when you go to an event and there are no refreshments? Like you have to depend on the vending machine across the hall. Not at Big City Moms Biggest Baby Shower Ever! They have multiple drink stations at the venue, making it so convenient for guests.

I love that they have lids for the cups now. I was able to hold on to my cup for a while and not worry about it spilling! I also thought that it was a great way to minimize waste.

Trust me when I say, attend Big City Mom’s Biggest Baby Shower Ever because there will be FREE DIAPERS AND WIPES!

Huggies made all of the guests happy by giving away free diapers and wipes! I’ve been changing nappies for more than three years now and I know it will be a while until I can kiss this task goodbye. Diapers and wipes are in my DNA now, so getting them for free is pure elation for me! 😛

‘

Big City Moms spoils everyone with yummy treats throughout the event.

We left Baltimore right after Little A got out of school at noon. We all ate in the car, checked in the hotel, got ready real quick then went straight to the event. Cupcakes for energy? Why not!

Enfamil was there with different products for everyone. I was very excited to take home a full-sized bottle of di-vi-sol! My Pedia recommended this for baby C so it was really cool to bring home a bottle with us.

Cord banking is such a promising program now. In my ideal world, I would have done this for Little A and Baby C through one of the many brands at the event like StemCyte.

Tot Squad is a new brand with unique services. Don’t know where to start when it comes to deep cleaning your baby gear? Call Tot Squad! I cleaned Little A’s car seat a couple of months ago and it was horrific!! The crumbs in tight spaces and God-knows-what stains on his chair almost made me gag. It was time-consuming and a lot of work. If you want to get your professionally done, Tot Squad is the answer.

Baby C started eating soft food recently. She is a good eater (thank God) so I am always looking forward to feeding her. I am all about healthy food so seeing a couple of brands like Lil’ Gourmet who promotes natural ingredients on their baby food is inspiring.

I am currently using Dove for the kids so I was very excited to see them at the event! Even more when I saw them giving away personalized bottles. I lost my Mom for a while and found her typing Little A’s name on the big screen lol.

Nursh/Boon was there with so many products that I haven’t seen before. Baby C has a nursh bottle that we got from a free baby box and I LOVE the boon drying rack. .

I recently bought their traveling drying because of all the trips we have planned. I love it because it came with some bottle and nipple brushes so I do not have to worry about packing what I have at home! It’s so convenient to have a drying rack when we are away from home

Get the travel drying rack for a discounted price here.

Happy Family Organics was there to showcase their healthy snacks. I’ve tried most of their products when Little A was younger. The puffs are so easy to bring along with us everywhere because of the sleek bottle.

MAM s a European brand that has interesting baby bottles. I currently have two Mam bottles and the way it disassembles is pretty awesome. Baby C loves their pacifier too!

I did not know Mam has toothbrushes too. I like the safety shield to help prevent the toothbrush from hitting the back of your little one’s mouth.

There are a lot of great baby carriers out there and one of them is Tula. I honestly do not babywear because of my back but A does! 😛 Especially when we travel to the Philippines.

I was excited to see Babo Botanicals again because of April, the brand’s sales manager. Her friendliness made me really curious about the brand so I bought their sunscreen a couple of months ago at Target.

Get the sunscreen here for 40% off!

When my pediatrician told me I can give baby C cereal with iron, I went to Target and bought Earth’s Best multigrain cereal. I felt like it was the best brand I could give baby C.

Giggle is a fun brand that sells baby items. From clothes to fun books. I checked some of their rompers and man were they soft!

KinderCare is a fun learning center in New York. If we were locals, I would definitely send Little A there.

They had an activity table set up for kids which Little A loved.

And a calligrapher on site! I had the kid’s names done. What a souvenir!

Chicco and all of its durable baby products. They don’t just have baby gear, they have small baby essentials too!

I wish I knew about Green Toys sooner. Any brand that puts the environment first will always be on top of my list.

Little A loved playing with their toys especially since Green Toys’ table was filled with vehicles, and his all-time favorite, fire trucks!

This is such a perfect Christmas present for kids! In fact, I just found out some items are discounted up to 50% off now.

Click the links below to see and get the best deal!

Vehicle Carrier Set.

Rescue Boat with Helicopter.

https://amzn.to/37sM7Co

Spoonful One is now part of my baby must-haves. Spoonful One reduces the risk of your little one developing any food allergy. Introducing them to ingredients that might cause it is safe and effective so there is nothing to worry about, not to mention the nutritional values of doing so.

My favorite is the puffs because I can give it as a snack to my baby (my toddler loves it too!) Want to try it too? Here’s a great deal for you! 🙂

Water Wipes is a great brand for kids who have sensitive skin like my kids. Don’t want to worry about your little one having a reaction after cleaning him up? Water wipes will give you that peace of mind.

Parents Magazine gave away Janie and Jack coupons!! I freaked out because people close to me know Janie and Jack is my go-to store for the kid’s wardrobe ❤

I may not be from New York but I love it when a brand still accommodates me. All thanks to Island Lab for being so friendly!

Tiny Organics gave away samples of their flavorful baby food.

Hue-ga is owned by an inspiring husband and wife who wants to give their toddler the best. Hug-ga is a subscription program for best snacks with no added sugar, how awesome is that? I have to say, I am afraid of sugar and how it can affect my toddler’s health. I do not deprive him of everything but I do keep his sugar intake in moderation. This is a helpful service to all parents who are always looking for the best healthy snacks for their toddlers.

They also add a food-related gift to every box. What a treat!

The Evolved Parent Co has the coolest baby items Moms would love! I use baby balm religiously to prevent diaper rash. I HATE how much cream I have to wipe off my finger. This diaper balm applicator is going to be my new best friend during nappy changes!

Mommy Matters for postpartum goodies; UniMom has great breast pumps; Hello for oral care; and Similac for baby formula.

”

Pipette is a brand from California that specializes in anything for your baby’s skin. They ban 2000 harmful ingredients on their products so there is no doubt your little one will be safe when using Pipette.

Pipette had the most beautiful set up at the event!

I love buying things that we can utilize for a very long time. When I saw Doona’s bike, I knew it was something I would love to buy for Little A…..if only his Lola did not gift us a different brand for his birthday!

Little A refused to leave the event because he wanted to take this Doony bike home. He even woke up the day after and asked me where his yellow bike is! LOL

Two of my most used brands for baby/toddler feeding! EZPZ and Re-Play. I use both every day and I honestly can’t complain 😛

I was happy to see more brands promoting breast pumps! I exclusively pump for baby C so this one is close to my heart 😛

Let me tell you how Byram Healthcare saved my life that night, especially the gentleman who unhesitatingly helped me after uttering the words “I forgot”.

I was such in a rush all day since we had to drive from Baltimore. It took us less than three hours to get to Jersey City which was great. I had about an hour before the event to check in our hotel and get everyone ready. Unfortunately, in the midst of chaos, I forgot to grab my cooler bag with my pump supplies in it! I successfully brought my pumping unit to the event so during the first hour I was hoping there would be a brand that has breast pump supplies.

God is good because Byram Healthcare was there. I walked up to them to do my initial interview about the brand and then uttered the words “I forgot my pump accessories”. It is unfortunate that I forgot the name of the gentleman who helped me but he did not even make me say more, he just asked me what pump I use and gave me everything I needed!

Not only was I relieved! I am so grateful because I was able to pump and feed baby C. If wondering, I would be okay nursing baby C too if I did not find anyone who has extra pump supplies at the event but since it has been a while since Baby C latched on me, I did not want to risk forcing her and spoiling our night in New York City!

When they said Big City Moms Biggest Baby Shower is a Mom’s event, they meant it! Byram Healthcare sponsored the nursing/pumping lounge and I love how convenient it is to do so and feel comfortable!

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#MomLife

Worried about getting hungry while at the event? Big City Moms has a caterer at the event! I was planning to leave a little early to go to a restaurant with the kids but I did not have to because Big City Moms made it so convenient by having food on site.

Then towards the end of the event, Huggies gave away free big boxes of baby wipes!! it’s as if Beyonce showed up because everyone started frolicking where the kids and I were standing. Everyone got excited but what I wasn’t prepared for was the pushing from these women! I almost wanted to post on Facebook “Marked Safe from the Big City Moms event” LOL!

Our trip to New York was nothing short of amazing. I couldn’t have enjoyed myself as much without my Mom who helped me with the kids so I can go around.

Some women came up to me and said: “you have a baby in your arms, a giant camera, your phone, and toddler, How do you do it?”. It may have seemed I was doing it all but my Mom was there to save me every time I needed her.

Little A ad his superhero pose. LOL!

Now, let’s move on to the best part. How many freebies can you actually take home from the event? I couldn’t even begin to tell you how happy I was while unpacking everything the day after.

Here are stuff I got while going around at the event.

Two cases of Huggies diapers — the best part of my loot IMO because I go through wipes like crazy every month!

Earth’s Best gave Little A a full box of breakfast biscuits (which he loves now because I make him eat in the car while on his way to school — he likes to have a snack immediately after eating his breakfast lol).

They also gave me a box of baby cereal after mentioning to them I bought one for baby C as soon as her pediatrician told me she can eat cereal with iron.

StemCyte has the best giveaway bag! I wish the pact onesie is Baby C’s size because they are the best onesies!

More wipes on top of the two cases I brought home.

Personalized baby dove body wash.

Treats from different brands! I am loving the mints from Byram Healthcare because they fit my small purse 😛

Hue-ga had amazing food samples for babies and toddlers. We gave baby C the apple and cinnamon sauce last week and she devoured it!

You know you are a Mom when free baby vitamins and diapers make you happy! 😛

Parents Magazine had a box full of Gryph and Ivy samples! They gave me a handful which is awesome because I love to bring these small packs when we travel. I also got a baby bottom buddy (balm applicator) from The Evolved Parent Co.

Treats from Happ Organics, Litl Gourmets, and Thinster! Re-play also gave away feeding bowls and spoons after signing up.

More sample products at the venue!! Every table had stuff to give away so make sure to stop by and learn about their product when you go 😉

I also received a PR kit from Big City Moms! I was in awe of the products in the giant bag I brought home.

My husband A was very excited about our new roku stick!! What a cool gift from Big City Moms!

This is the cutest toy from Fisher-Price ever!! I gave it to Baby C right away after taking this picture because I knew she would love it! And she does.

Motherhood is closing its stores nationwide which is unfortunate. I am planning to use my gift card to stock up on nursing tops.

Hue-ga and EzPz spoiled me with more feeding items!! So perfect now that Baby C started eating.

The Harry Potter lover in me was so happy to get this surprise toy! I let Little A open it and we got Dobby 😛

More SpoonfulOne treats for my babies!! ❤ I gave them a pack last night and they were so happy to have it as their “treat”!

Nasal Spray and Immunity Booster!! Just in time for flu season, especially now that Little A has been bringing home lots of germs from school lol

I know the box said “take one” but I swear the people from Parents.com gave me more Janie and Jack coupons when I told them I love the brand so much and I shop there every week! lol

A well-stocked baby room makes Mommy happy 😛

Six months ago I went to Big City Mom’s Biggest Baby Shower Ever with Baby C in my belly. I had the best time and I came back to Baltimore with a smile from ear to ear.

This time, I came back with two kids in my arms (well one of them doing a superhero pose) and I still had a great time! This event is not only for expecting Moms but also for parents who are always looking for the best brands/products to give their children ❤

Disclosure: This post was sponsored by Big City Moms. However, my opinion about the event and brands are all genuine.

BIG CITY MOM’S BIGGEST BABY SHOWER NEW YORK NOVEMBER 2019 Hello, dolls! Hello again, New York! When I said I look forward to our adventures every weekend two months ago, I really meant it.

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