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wildroseofarran · 6 years

Text

In Need of a Shoulder || Luke & Tristan

Luke: {Text: Tristan} Hi, Tristan. It's Luke. I understand if you do not wish to speak to me, feel free to ignore this. I was just wondering if you'd feel okay seeing me? Perhaps I could see what your home looks like after all this time? I'm sorry if this upsets you, I have nobody else to turn to.

Tristan: Tristan just stared at his phone for a minute, reading and rereading Luke's text. After their disastrous not-date he'd considered deleting Luke's number, ultimately deciding against it.

Now he got to look at Luke's message asking to him and the series of happy messages they'd exchanged before that ill-fated breakfast. Yay.

Still, he couldn't just ignore him.

{Text to Luke} Hey, Luke

{Text to Luke} Yeah, you can come over. 159 Coastal Road

{Text to Luke} It's the house with the blue shutters

Luke: Luke remembers to breathe when Tristan replies. He starts to walk away from his home. Away from Fletcher. Away from the shop. Away from all the memories it held. Away from his love. Away from his first real kiss. Away from everything he didn't feel strong enough to handle in that moment.

{Text} Thank you.

Tristan: {Text} No problem

Tristan returned his phone to his pocket and began tidying up his living room a little. Last thing he needed was to give his unexpected company even more of a bad impression.

Luke: Luke walks slowly, takes his time looking up at the sky and out at sea. He strolls, giving himself far too much time to think.

He wished he hadn't left Fletcher. He shouldn't have. What would he think now? That Luke has given up? That Luke was gone for good? He stops suddenly.

He brings out his phone, opens his contact list, stares at Fletcher's name. Just call him. Apologise for leaving. Or don't. Go to a store, purchase some wine and some flowers and promise that you still love him.

Take care of him.

Why did you leave?

Luke's eyes began to water. He had made a mistake. Fletcher may never forgive him for leaving.

Locking his phone he puts it away, back in his pocket. If Fletcher wanted him home he'd call. He must want some space, too. As he had said before. Sometimes he just wants space.

He keeps going until he finds a home that matches the description, and gently knocks.

Tristan: The door opened just a moment later, revealing Tristan in all his loose-haired, sweat pants-clad glory. Well, if you could call it glory. He looked like he was expecting doom to walk through his door, and from the looks of things, Luke expected it to be inside.

"Come on in," he said, stepping aside so Luke could enter.

The house was small and not all that far off from the beach shack description Tristan had once given it. The furniture was made of dark wood, slightly worn. The couch was leather, the décor decidedly nautical, the walls painted sage green. Overall a very masculine space.

Luke: "Thank you..." he couldn't thank him enough for giving him some form of escape. He steps in and starts to look around, allowing himself to take it all in. "It's lovely."

Tristan: "It's not exactly Versailles but it keeps the rain off. Can I uh...get you anything? Water? Tea? Whiskey?"

Luke: "Tea would be wonderful, if you're making yourself some, too. Otherwise I'm alright without it. Would you like me to take off my shoes?"

Tristan: Tristan nodded, even going so far as to offer a smile. "I'll put the kettle on," he said, moving into the kitchen. There was only a breakfast bar separating it from the living room, so he was still able to see Luke.

"You don't have to do that. That rug's seen worse."

Luke: "Alright." he walks in and takes a seat carefully. He removes his jacket and folds it over the armrest. "I... really am... sorry, Tristan. We could have left things better and I... I know this isn't ideal. I appreciate you being willing to see me again. I promise I wouldn't have requested such a thing of you if I felt like I had... options."

Tristan: "Given the...situation, I doubt there's anything you could've done to make it better. Could've been a hell of lot worse. I waited for Fletcher to come deck me for a couple days but he never showed. Probably have you to thank for that."

He filled the kettle and put it on the heat. "It's all right, Luke, really. Not like you forced your way in here at gunpoint."

Luke: "You didn't know." and Luke believed that entirely, nobody could fake Tristan's reaction. It had been genuine and apologetic.

"Um... has... anything changed with you?"

Tristan: "I still kissed you. I would've decked me if I were in his shoes." He shrugged and leaned against the counter. "I catch the fish, sell the fish, and repeat. Same old, same old. You? Anything new?"

Luke: People from my past have come back into my life. Fletcher proposed to me. I met a demon. I saw Ronan overdose. I met Fletcher's mother and she didn't like me. Fletcher died and was gone for a week. I've become an angel.

"S-same..." he rubs his arm anxiously.

Tristan: Tristan studied Luke for a few moments. "No it's not," he said quietly. "Something happened."

Luke: "A lot has happened." he smiles sadly, it doesn't reach his eyes and Luke isn't really sure why he even bothered to attempt it. "A lot - a lot of good things. Some bad. Such is life."

Tristan: "Sure is," he agreed with a nod, noting that attempt at a smile. "But something tells me it's the bad that brought you here."

Luke: "Um-" he tried to imagine how Fletcher might feel about him telling Tristan about their personal affairs. He... didn't really know what to say. "I don't think Fletcher wants to be with me anymore."

Tristan: His brow furrowed. "What makes you say that?"

Luke: "He suggested that I only loved the idea of us... of something stable and sane. He said that love isn't enough. He said 'maybe this isn't meant to be'." he inhales, "I - I'm sorry, Tristan. I know it might not be something you want to hear about, I know it might be inappropriate but honestly I didn't... plan on asking you for advice. I mostly wanted a distraction, if that's alright."

Tristan: Tristan studied Luke for a few more moments before the whistle of the kettle distracted him.

Nodding to himself, he grabbed a thermos from a cabinet, added the water, the tea, and some sugar.

"All right, come on. Put on your jacket."

Luke: "Wh-where are we going?"

Tristan: "For a sail."

Luke: "At this time?"

Tristan: "Yep," he said, grabbing his own jacket from a peg near the door.

Luke: "A-are you sure?" he slowly stands, picking up his jacket.

Tristan: "Sure am."

Luke: Luke nods, and puts on his jacket. Instinctively he goes to tell Fletcher, but stops before he can type out the text. He locks his phone again.

Tristan: Tristan led the way out the back door and across his small expanse of yard to a small dock where a ship lay waiting.

After handing Luke the thermos, he hopped aboard and turned on the lights. "Watch your step," he said, offering Luke a hand getting on.

Luke: "Thank you." he quietly says as he takes the thermos, holding it close to his chest to warm himself up. He recalled the time he had sailed on a boat with Fletcher, their first date. Luke looks down, hesitating before taking Tristan's hand and stepping carefully onto the boat.

Tristan: The moment Luke was safely onboard Tristan moved away from him again. There would be no lingering. Luke wasn't his to linger over.

"Have a seat," he said softly, prepping to set sail.

Luke: Luke knows he shouldn't mind, he knows he should appreciate Tristan's effort to put some space between them, but... it just made him feel worse, in a way. This is another person he has hurt.

He quietly does as he is told.

Tristan: "There's a blanket in the storage space underneath that bench if you get cold. Scarf and gloves, too. Night sailing is a frequent occurrence on this ship."

Tristan let down the sail, untethered them from the dock, let the breeze navigate them into more open water.

Luke: He zips up his jacket and wraps his arms around himself. "Do you have a... I don't know boat terms very well. A below-deck?"

Tristan: "Cabin, and yes. A small one."

Luke: "Could I see it?"

Tristan: Tristan nodded. "Go for it. Hatch is over to the right there."

The space below deck was just as sparse and masculine as Tristan's house. There was a tiny galley kitchen, a matchbox of a bathroom, a couple of storage closets, and a slightly larger area crammed with papers and a desk that served as Tristan's 'office'.

Luke: Luke stands, finding balance and making his way down. He breathes, letting the moment of being alone fuel him. Fingertips graze along the decoration, the furniture, he feels all of Tristan's life. Once he feels ready to, he emerges. Going beneath the bench, he brings out the scarf and wraps it around himself, covering the bottom half of his face with it.

Tristan: By the time Luke returned, Tristan had gotten them to the sound. It was the perfect night for sail. The sky was clear, the water was calm. Everything was still and peaceful.

He took them out just a little further before lowering the sail. "Pour us some tea."

Luke: Luke had been staring at the water, tempted to run his fingers through it just to feel - but he knew better than to do it. Opening the thermos he pours it out for Tristan, offering it to him before pouring some for himself.

"It's beautiful out here." he muses quietly, sipping the drink.

Tristan: "Thanks." Tristan took a seat beside Luke and pulled a crate closer so they'd have something to prop their feet on.

"Yes, it is," he said, sipping his tea. "Best distraction you'll find anywhere."

Luke: Luke lifts his feet, hugging onto his drink.

There's a moment of silence before he asks, "What... made you want to kiss me? Y-you don't have to answer that if you don't want to."

Tristan: Tristan took a deep breath. "I liked you. The moment seemed perfect. I wanted to kiss you on the beach but uh..." He gave a humorless chuckle. "I didn't wanna push my luck on our first date."

Luke: "Really? After meeting me only that once?"

Tristan: He nodded. "Yeah. After meeting you that once."

Luke: He runs a finger around his cup. "You are... the second person I've kissed on the lips in my entire life." He still wasn't sure about whether or not he's going to count Ronan's sleep-kiss. He didn't know if it was even true, and he didn't feel like he wanted to count a kiss he couldn't even remember.

Tristan: "The second?" That meant... "Fletcher was the first, wasn't he?" He was probably a lot of Luke's firsts.

Luke: Luke nods.

"He put it off for so long. Practically made me beg him." another sad smile on his delicate features.

Tristan: "Why didn't he give in earlier?" Look at you. Who wouldn't want to kiss you?

Luke: "He knew I hadn't.. been with anyone like that before. I think he wanted it to be perfect..." and it had been glorious. "I'm starting to believe that I simply read too many books, and this idea of romance and love and perfection I had in my head was just... wrong."

Tristan: Well. He knew where Fletcher was coming from.

"Why's that? Wanting a first kiss to be perfect is pretty much the cornerstone of love and romance."

Luke: "But I've always believed that love is... the most powerful thing we have. The closest a human can get to magic." But neither he nor Fletcher were human. "Apparently love isn't nearly enough to warrant happiness."

Tristan: Tristan nodded. "It can be, and for the lucky ones it is. But even magic takes work. Or, well, relationships take work. As nice as it is to think love is always movie moments and pillow talk and candlelit dinners, it can be messy."

Luke: "Messy is one thing... Fletcher gave up on us today. He decided all of the good moments weren't worth the bad." He drinks more tea. "I can't be the only one who fights."

Tristan: "True enough," Tristan said softly, following Luke's lead and sipping his tea. "Both people fighting is part of the work it takes to make things work."

"What led to that decision?"

Luke: Luke nods. He had thought he and Fletcher had made progress. Minor setbacks are to be expected, but he never thought Fletcher would be willing to break up over his insecurities. It made him feel as though he doubted more than Luke's feelings, but his own as well. Luke isn't a mind-reader.

"He... And please don't tell him I've told you, he proposed to me and I said no."

Tristan: Well now Tristan was frowning. Something was off here, it had to be. He'd seen the look on Luke's face when Tristan had talked about Fletcher. He hadn't realized it then, of course, but looking back it was more than clear that Luke was completely in love with him. Saying no to a marriage proposal didn't make any sense.

"Why did you say no?" he asked softly. "Don't you love him?"

Luke: "We have never spoken about the future in such a long-term way. When we first met he was so ready to up and leave. He was still planning on it, even after some time with me. We've never spoken about what we want to do, where we want to go, our hopes, our dreams, anything we want out of life. To suddenly propose to me? It felt... ridiculous. Unplanned. It felt... spur of the moment in a bad way. It felt like he... just wanted to do it to feel... secure. Couples who want to be together forever start to plan their lives before it's even a real thought, they talk about the future, about how 'one day' we'll see these countries, meet these people, do this, little things. To go from living day by day to suddenly wanting to marry me... it felt... like he was just finding a way of keeping me there. He said he didn't want to talk about the future because it scares him but... it scares me too. It scares everyone. And what does he think will happen if we get married? That we'd never have to talk about the future? He's obviously not even ready for marriage if he isn't ready to have mature conversations about our relationship. The more I think about it... the more I feel as though he just doesn't love me as much as he says he does, that he doesn't truly see a life with me."

Tristan: Tristan sipped his tea as he listened, taking it all in, trying to see the situation from as many angles as he possibly could and not just see it through the filter of his own experiences. That wouldn't help Luke at all.

Although if he was honest with himself, he didn't know if anything he could offer would do anything to help Luke either.

"We can't...really plan farther than a few seconds into the future. Things tend to work out differently than we anticipate. Best laid plans and all that. Which isn't to say you're wrong, you're not. Conversations about the future are part of every serious relationship, it's the nature of the beast and it's important to have them.

"On the flip side, though? You don't propose to someone you don't see a future with, planned or not. You don't propose to someone you're not in love with. In the days of arranged marriages maybe but not now. Proposing is....a promise. A promise that something inside you has told you you're able to make. For love, for the future. It's hope in its purest form."

Luke: "It's not about literal plans. It's about dreams."

Luke shakes his head. "Getting married for the wrong reasons is a very real thing. People propose to people they aren't completely in love with because they settle all the time. It's why the divorce rates are so high. You and I... romantics might like to think that marriage is sacred but it just isn't."

Tristan: Tristan's expression was very sad and very far away when he asked, "What did his face look like when you refused?"

Luke: "He just wanted to act like it hadn't happened."

Tristan: He gently shook his head. "Not what he did," he said softly. "What he looked like."

Luke: "He... wasn't looking at me. He was watching his hands."

Tristan: Tristan nodded. "He didn't propose for the wrong reason," he whispered, glazed eyes looking out over the horizon.

Luke: "Even so, I said no for the right ones."

Tristan: He said nothing for a few long moments. He was a thousand miles away, watching his memories play like a movie projected on the night sky.

Luke: Luke looks down into his lap and finishes off his tea in silence.

"Maybe I just expect too much from people," he finally says.

Tristan: "Do you love him?"

Luke: "That's not enough," he whispers.

Tristan: "It's a start."

Luke: "If love changed anything... today wouldn't have happened."

Tristan: "If love changed nothing you wouldn't be here with me. I wouldn't be here with you. I'd be tucked up in a house by the river with the love of my life."

Luke: "... With the love of your life?" Did Tristan have someone?

Tristan: Tristan nodded. "Yep. He's married to someone else now. That someone is the person who's tucked up with him tonight."

Luke: "I - oh. I'm sorry." He exhales and rubs his face, "I know how that feels."

Tristan: "Don't be. He left me a long time ago. Years." Tristan sighed and reached into the storage space for the bottle of whiskey he kept there.

"Best advice I could give you? Don't be me. Whatever you do, don't be me, Luke."

Luke: Luke's gaze moves down from Tristan's face to his lips, down his neck, down his chest, to his hands.

"I tried to fix things. I... won't give you more information than you probably want but I tried to... cool us off. I went into the shower and he did some work, I think. We had a moment to breathe, apart. I invited him in... he just didn't... it feels as though... he almost condescends to me in a way. On more than one occasion he has acted as if I don't know what I want or who I am. He tries to tell me how I feel. He tries to tell me what I'm thinking. There's a side to me I..." a dominant side, "don't typically reveal, a side that's private, and he thinks it's just something that has been drilled into my head from an outside source and that I must be too stupid to really know who I am or what I feel or what I want from life. And he rejects me frequently, he isn't willing to do basic things with me yet he wants to get married?"

Luke stands, setting the cup down where his feet had been.

"And I'm meant to be the one to always be put together! To always be the one who is secure and holding on to him. Yes, he cared for me when I was unwell but what about when I feel insecure? When I need him to make me feel good about myself? He just says no, he wants to wait, he wants this, he wants that. Excuse after excuse. I can't read minds. It just feels as though he doesn't want me. Yes, he proposed, yes, he seemed unnerved about me saying no but he didn't try to overcome it in a healthy way and it isn't as if literal abusive people don't propose to others all the time so suggesting that marriage is just for happy people in love is insane. But - he sat there and decided to tell me what my life has apparently been lacking! As if he knows! As if he was there! What's more, he did something truly awful that I had no way of talking him out of, something that was so... terrible. Something he'd be willing to do again. Something I... honestly haven't forgiven him for. I say nothing. I don't hold it against him because it's the past, even if it hurts me to think about I would never use it as leverage in an argument or anything quite that bitter. I give him respect - I don't pry into his relationship with Pete, I don't pretend I know what it was like, I don't compare it to us now, I don't remind him about it, yet Fletcher can't let how Ronan and I were go. We were teenagers, we were kids. He acts as though Ronan has never been a good friend to me but he -"

He stops. Realising how he has been ranting and how inappropriate that all must have been.

"I'm sorry. I just never get to be the one who's hurt." tears are blinked from his eyes.

Tristan: Tristan wouldn't interrupt or comment while Luke was ranting. He was a firm believer that ranting was healthy for the soul and from the sounds of things, Luke's soul was in desperate need of some relief.

And what better place to get that all out than here, where there was no one around to hear or judge?

When Luke fell silent, Tristan refilled his cup with tea, adding a healthy measure of whiskey. He offered it and patted the seat beside him.

"Not to sound like a broken record, but don't be." He pulled a handkerchief from his pocket, offered it, too. "Rant. Scream. Cry. Throw shit if you need to. Let the hurt in. It's the only way to get it out."

Luke: Luke inhales a trembling breath and hesitantly takes the cup, slowly seating himself again. He stares at the drink. Well. He's never had this before.

"I don't get to. I've gone through such... big changes. My entire life has been changed completely recently, completely flipped upside down. So many things have come one after the other and I'm far too many people's rocks. I don't get to feel overwhelmed. I don't get to have a bad day, in case it makes Fletcher feel insecure and it causes an argument or some problem. I have to just smile and take it all in stride and I..." he rubs his thigh, "in a relationship... one where they're planning to get married one day? That shouldn't be the case. I should be able to feel bad and just feel it without the paranoia and guilt. I shouldn't be able to just... be who I am."

Tristan: "Who says you don't get to? Fletcher? Ronan?"

Luke: "Ronan has allowed me to cry with him numerous times. Ronan has... been there for me. He hasn't judged me. He has never taken an outburst of mine to heart, which is why I do the same for him. It's a kindness. It's a level of understanding. I don't doubt that Fletcher would care for me to the best of his ability but... not in the unconditional way Ronan did. Or the way I do. At least not that I can imagine. I couldn't even calmly explain to him that we aren't ready for marriage without him wanting to completely end things with me."

Tristan: "Maybe that's part of the problem," Tristan said gently. "I'm not saying this to stir the pot or to sway you one way or the other. I'm just trying to see both sides because that's what I do.

"Maybe you and Fletcher are having that disconnect because...you're used to Ronan's comfort. Everyone's got their own way of caring and comforting other people and since you've got a longer history with Ronan, you're used to his. It happens, we're human."

Tristan took a deep breath. He really hoped he wasn't overstepping. "Did he say he wanted to end things with you? Has he ever been unkind when you needed a shoulder to lean on or just wanted a hug?"

Luke: "Maybe. Maybe I'm just used to there being no rules and no boundaries and... with Fletcher there are so many of both."

Oh, his heart.

"He did. He said perhaps we aren't meant to be. He suggested we... finish." Luke sips the drink and cringes faintly, "He hasn't... been unkind to me, that I can recall. Not on purpose, anyway. But the problem is that... I've never felt as though I could just ask for a hug. Because what happens when I do? I get home, I tell Fletcher I feel unhappy, I ask him to hug me. He asks what's wrong. I tell him... something unrelated to us. He finds a way to make it somehow something negative he has done. It's... it's just exhausting. I want to make him feel better about himself, I do. I just don't think I'm capable of it. And his mother doesn't like me."

Tristan: "Well. I can't say what was going through his mind at the time he said that, but the word that stands out to me there is 'perhaps'. You two were having a fight after dealing with something very intense, and in the heat of the moment people say shit they don't mean. And that shit's usually driven by anger or hurt or fear. Maybe he did say that but that doesn't mean he meant it or wanted it."

He poured himself some more whiskey. "Remember back at the bakery when you asked me what Fletcher was like when we were younger? I told you he kept to himself and that's true, but I didn't tell you why. He wasn't...the most social person. There were a lot of people that made fun of him and said shit about him because kids are fucking awful and that's what they do. And his mom didn't help. She never let him go over to anyone's house to hang out or let him play with other kids in the park or do the things kids should be able to do. That leaves scars.

"I said we can't predict more than a few seconds into the future, right? So maybe if you did ask Fletcher for a hug after you'd had a shitty day, what you're imagining would happen. But maybe it wouldn't. There's just as much chance of one happening as the other."

Tristan wrapped an arm around Luke's shoulder and gave him a squeeze. "You've got to give the guy some credit, Luke. If you don't give him any, how can he give you any? This is a two-way street, and as far as I'm concerned, Billy Gale not liking you is something to be proud of."

Luke: Luke leans into him, rests against his shoulder.

He takes that all in, squeezes it and takes every droplet of thought he can.

He doesn't know what he's meant to do. He's afraid of the next step.

"But it doesn't matter how heated a situation gets I would never suggest we should break up."

Then again, people are simply different.

"She likes Ronan."

He didn't know what else to say.

Tristan: "You can't know that for sure, Luke. As well as we all think we know ourselves, we still do shit that gives us that moment of 'what the fuck was that?'. Again, part of being human. We don't know what we're capable of until the right circumstances come along and show us."

He gave Luke another squeeze. "As much as I love the guy, Ronan hangs out with some pretty questionable folk. And yes, I'm lumping Billy Gale in with them. She's a perfectly nice lady but she's done her son a disservice and this right here is proof. The job of every parent is to fuck their kid up--even the best ones do it in some way--but I really think Fletcher would be a more secure person if she hadn't sheltered him so much.

"He's not a bad guy. In fact, he's one of the most decent people I know. I know he'd give you a hug if you asked. He'd probably be wondering why you wanted it from him the entire time but he'd give it to you. He'd push past all the shit his mother ingrained into him and the way people treated him when we were younger and he'd give it to you."

Luke: She had her reasons, which Luke assumes Tristan knew nothing about. She was afraid, and parents teach their children what to fear. In this case, it seemed, she had taught Fletcher to fear everyone.

Luke takes a deep breath, brushes away tears that had accumulated. "I don't know what to do."

Tristan: "For now, you sit. Drink your tea, cry, look at the water for a little while. Let your soul calm down."

Tristan draped the blanket back over Luke.

Luke: Sighing, the angel moves closer to Tristan, bundling the blanket over the two of them in silence. He watches the water, but is only focusing on Tristan. He didn't want to think about Fletcher, about what may be happening back home, about what damage he may have caused. He just wanted to think about how Tristan's hair felt against him from where he was on his shoulder, about his warmth, his kindness. His beauty.

Tristan: Tristan let the silence stretch between them, aware only of the movie reel that was still playing with gleeful cruelty in his head.

After a long, long time he finally said, very softly, "You know how I told you not to be me?"

Luke: Luke nods, slowly blinking.

Tristan: "I know what it's like. When the fight's finally over."

Luke: He sits up. A gentle hand settles on his cheek and he leans over to kiss his cheek gently. "I meant what I said that day. Anyone would be lucky to have you. I remember thinking of how like the ocean you are. So beautiful, so calming. A gentle consistency, a refreshing symbiosis."

Tristan: Tristan gave Luke a sad smile. "Someone else said that to me, too. Not the poetry, the part about someone being lucky to have me."

Luke: "They're right. You're truly wonderful. Caring, kind, understanding..." things he wished Fletcher could be just a little bit more.

Tristan: "Here's the thing about that. See, love isn't the thing that isn't enough. Being caring, kind, and understanding? That's not enough."

He sighed, straightening just a bit. "The man I told you about before? He said that to me when he left me. We were together for years. I met his family, he met mine. We took trips, had mind-blowing sex, the whole nine. On the surface a perfect relationship, yes? But one day, things changed."

Luke: "Did he... meet this someone else while you were together?"

Tristan: Tristan shook his head. "There was no one else. Maybe that would've been easier."

He took a sip of whiskey, abandoning the tea. "It was hard to notice anything was wrong at first. He was still himself, still affectionate and open. But sometimes when things were quiet between us, I'd look over and realize a part of him was a million miles away. And the more time passed, the worse it got.

"At one point, it was like...like he was in the river, and the current was doing its best to drag him away but he wouldn't let it. He was fighting it as hard as he could and I was fighting to pull him up on shore, pull him to safety. We fought that fight together for as long as we could and we fought hard."

Luke: "...What was the last straw?"

Tristan: "That's what makes it all so goddamn sad." Tristan shook his head and gave a humorless chuckle. "The last straw had already happened. All that fighting he did? He wasn't trying to keep doom from our doorstep. Doom had already come and he was doing his best to pretend it hadn't.

"He'd fallen out of love with me. He still loved me, still cared about me, but he just...wasn't in love with me anymore. That's how you know the fight's over. When someone you love--someone who has all of you--sits you down, looks you in the eye, and tells you they don't love you. And means it."

Luke: "... Tristan..." he breathes, "I'm sorry." his hand is taken and held. "You... deserve so much more."

Tristan: "Whether I do or don't is in the lap of the gods," Tristan said softly, giving Luke's hand a squeeze. "Point is this: it doesn't matter if you fight or disagree or go through periods of adjustment as long as you love each other enough to hold on and pull each other up on shore. That fight only ends when one of you looks at the other and says you don't love them, and means it.

"You and Fletcher had a setback. A big one, but a setback nonetheless. You had a fight, things were said in the heat of the moment. But that doesn't mean it's over. You guys have a shot of making it. Take it from someone who didn't have one."

Luke: "But that doesn't make our problems fade. Recovering from this one argument doesn't fix everything I've said. It doesn't make everything better. It's only one problem solved."

Tristan: "Very true. But you've got to start somewhere, Luke. Rome wasn't built in a day, and it didn't fall in one either."

Luke: "I'm sure it burnt down in one." He smiles weakly and brings Tristan's hand to his lips. "Thank you, Tristan."

Tristan: At last, a genuine smile. "Rome was a stubborn broad. She fought to the bitter, bloody end."

"I'm just here to offer perspective. I like Fletcher. I like you, too. And call me a romantic, but I want ya'll to be okay."

Luke: "I... have lost hope in that possibility."

Tristan: "Life is never without hope."

Luke: "That's what I thought, too. But my heart can't take it anymore."

Tristan: "Don't let one day take away your hope. That's all we've got in this life. I know you're hurting. I know you're tired. But I also know you love Fletcher. It's practically oozing out of your pores. I just don't want you to give up, that's all."

Luke: "It isn't just this one day..." He mutters to himself. "I shouldn't... have left."

Tristan: "Heat of the moment," Tristan said quietly.

Luke: Luke licks his lips.

"I don't know if I'm ready to go back."

Tristan: He nodded. "It's okay if you're not. You've had an intense night."

Tristan: "......Ever night fished?"

Luke: He chuckles. "I definitely have not."

Tristan: "Wanna give it a shot?"

Luke: "I'd love to. We don't have to kill fish do we?"

Tristan: "I can put corks on the hooks."

Luke: He nods. "That sounds good."

Tristan: "You got it." He got to his feet and made his way below deck, emerging a few moments later with a couple of fishing poles in hand.

"If were father out we might have a shot of pulling up something really cool. Here in the sound, though, we might see a bass or a catfish."

Luke: "I'm sure to a newbie like me it will be just as exciting." he smiles, standing and taking one of the fishing poles.

Tristan: "You know what I should do?" Tristan chuckled, putting a cork on the end of Luke's hook. "I should take you noodling."

Luke: "Noodling? As in, you want to make noodles with me?" he's joking…though he genuinely doesn't know what that is.

Tristan: "Nope, got nothing to do with actual noodles. Although I do make a mean pasta."

Luke: He chuckles, "I believe you."

Tristan: "Noodling is when you go fishing for catfish. With your bare hands."

Luke: Luke's eyes widen. "... Absolutely not."

Tristan: "It's fun! People have competitions!"

Luke: "And I would win, but that isn't the point."

Tristan: "Oh you would, huh? You'd beat the Tri-County Noodling champion?"

Luke: "Exactly. Butterflies have landed on my hands. Squirrels have allowed me to pet them." He had an unfair advantage, being an angel.

Tristan: "Butterflies and squirrels have nothing on catfish. You stick your arm in their dens and drag them out and trust me, it's like poking a sleeping dragon."

Luke: Luke laughs, "A dragon would sleep peacefully by my side!"

Tristan: "Well, not to knock your potential catfish whispering skills, but the reigning Tri-County Noodling champion doubts that very seriously."

Luke: "The reigning Tri-County Noodling Champion doesn't know me as well as he thinks he does."

Tristan: He chuckled. "Apparently not. Now, you know your way around a fishing pole?"

Luke: "I don't. Teach me." He adjusts to be closer to the edge of the boat.

Tristan: "You right or left handed?"

Luke: "Right."

Tristan: "Then take the pole in your right hand, reel the line back, and place your index finger over it to hold it in place. Like so." Tristan did the same, letting Luke see.

Luke: "Reel -" he tries to copy but definitely gets it wrong. "Are my hands in the right place?"

Tristan: "Right, beginner. Here." He adjusted Luke's hold on the fishing pole so he could hold it and the line comfortably. "How's that?"

Luke: Luke nods. "Alright. Better, thank you."

Tristan: "No problem. Now, I want you to imagine the face of a clock. You're gonna bring the pole back to 2 o'clock and then forward to 10 o'clock, releasing the line at the same time." He demonstrated.

"Back to two, forward and release on 10." And again. "Back to two, forward and release on 10."

Luke: He... is enjoying watching Tristan more than he could possibly enjoy doing it himself. He smiles at the beautiful man.

"Back at ten, release on two. Understood."

Tristan: "Other way around," Tristan chuckled.

Luke: "I know, it was my attempt at a joke." He grins and tries it out, but swings back a little too far and throws it right ahead of him.

Tristan: Tristan smiled. Luke certainly seemed to be feeling better. "I give your delivery a 7."

"All right, doing good, doing good, doing...." Well shit.

Luke: It's caught quickly - a last-minute catch few humans could have made. His body is in a different location in a blink.

"... Too much force, I think..." He slowly returns to his position beside Tristan.

Tristan: Tristan was staring at Luke, just...blinking. "...Yeah...too much force...." Guy had the reflexes of a goddamn cat on speed.

Luke: He clears his throat.

Well.

"Um..."

Tristan: "You uh...you pulled back too far, cast a little too hard."

Luke: There was no point allowing this to become awkward. He didn't want it to be. He didn't want to keep secrets, either. If this was going to be long-term.

"Did Ronan tell you what I am?"

Tristan: His brow furrowed. "Did--what? You're not...?" Human?

Luke: Oh. Luke looks to his feet. He had told Luke that he'd been clear about what he is, so he hoped this wasn't going to cause him a heart attack. He's able to provide aid if need be.

"I am an angel... of some form."

Tristan: "....An angel? Like an angel angel? With the wings and the halo and the harp?"

Luke: "... Essentially. I am willing to show you if you want proof but... not out here. Someone may see." He rubs his arm nervously.

Tristan: "I said fuck in front of you. More than once." He looked up at the sky. "I'm gonna get struck by lightning, aren't I?"

Luke: Luke laughs and moves forward, putting a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Fletcher has said worse." And Ronan has said worse than him. "It's alright. You've been forgiven."

Tristan: "I gave an angel whiskey."

Luke: "You gave an angel a kiss."

Tristan: "I'm going right to hell."

Luke: "Not if I have anything to do with it." He grins. "You... believe me?"

Tristan: Tristan nodded. "Yeah, I do. Told you I looked like a Christmas angel. Guess I hit the mark closer than I intended."

Luke: He shakes his head, laughing. That was easier than he thought it would be.

"You amaze me."

Tristan: "Not all that amazing. I do know something about...your world. Enough not to have a heart attack when someone tells me they're an angel."

Luke: "Hm. I can't think of anyone more worthy of knowing. You are the most incredible human I've met in... decades." ... Possibly a weird sentence.

Tristan: "What about Fletcher?" Tristan asked quietly, turning toward the water.

Luke: Luke had specified 'human' for a reason.

Of course he couldn't say that.

"I am not going to beg for him to love me and stay with me."

Tristan: "You don't have to beg him, Luke. He already loves you, and you love him."

Luke: "If he expected me to respond to 'maybe this wasn't meant to be' with 'please, Fletcher. Please. Don't do this. I love you.' then he…I've done that too many times with too many draining people."

Tristan: "Fletcher's not the type of guy to expect that. He doesn't play people that way."

Luke: "Then, yet again, it is only me fighting for us." He sighs and rubs his face. "I just... want to be selfish for once in my life. Is that terrible? Am I... cruel for feeling that way? I want to receive now. I want... someone who jumps at the idea of making love to me because they're so passionate about me, weeps at the thought of how much they love me, tells me poetry that reminds them of me... I want more than I think Fletcher can give."

But I love him with all my heart.

Tristan: "No, it's not terrible. It's...well, I can't say part of being human technically but since you're here among us, I'll say it anyway. There's nothing wrong with wanting those things and wishing someone would give them to you. But you've gotta realize that no one...is gonna do exactly what you imagine all the time. Just because Fletcher doesn't give you poetry doesn't mean he can't, or isn't thinking of any. You have to be patient, Luke. I know you've been patient for a long time, and probably with a lot of people in your life, but so has Fletcher."

Tristan sighed. "Call me a romantic, but he's been waiting for you for a long time. He's...getting used to you. Getting used to having someone love him."

Luke: "I didn't mean it quite so literally I just...he's known me for almost a year. How much more time could I possibly give?"

Tristan: "I can't answer that for you, Luke. I wish I could but I think the two of you are going to have to play it by ear. All I can say is...be gentle with yourself, and with him. Take it a day at a time."

Luke: Another deep breath. He closes his eyes and feels the sea air. "I wish I could be carefree for one night. Just one."

Tristan: "You can be. Hence my telling you to be gentle to yourself, and not just about tonight and not just about Fletcher. Something tells me you've been burning the candle at both ends emotionally for a very, very long time."

Luke: Tears are held in and it takes all of Luke's strength. "I have been." Ninety years too long.

Tristan: Tristan laid a hand on Luke's shoulder and squeezed. "Even angels have their limits, Luke. You can't be everyone's rock and not have one yourself. You've got to let yourself lean on someone. Let yourself lean on Fletcher. He'll catch you, I promise he'll catch you."

Luke: Luke sniffles and rubs his eyes. "But I can't say all of this to him. It would only make him believe further that we shouldn't be together. It will only make him push me away."

Tristan: "You have to, Luke. You have to talk to him, otherwise this will fester between you. You have to let each other in."

Luke: Luke stares for a moment before nodding. "You're right, Tristan. You're right."

Tristan: Tristan gave his shoulder another squeeze. "It'll be brutal and you'll hate my guts for pushing you to do it, but cleaning out the wound is the only way to heal it."

Luke: He smiles sadly. "I know I would have given you the same advice. So thank you." He takes Tristan's hand in order to kiss his knuckles.

Tristan: He smiled softly. Luke had the biggest chivalrous streak of anyone he'd ever met, human and non-human.

"You're welcome."

Luke: "I... think I would like... to go back to land now, if that's okay. If you ever trust me with your fishing equipment again I will be very surprised."

Tristan: Tristan laughed. "Since you caught it, I'll trust you on a probationary basis, Mr. Angel. Sit tight. I'll take us back."

Luke: "Mister angel, hm?" he grins as he takes a seat, burying himself in the scarf.

Tristan: "Yep. Mister," said Tristan, smiling as he raised the sail again. "You look like a mister. Like in a Jane Austin novel."

Luke: He smiles, looking out at the sea. "'There is no charm equal to tenderness of heart'."

Tristan: "Emma. Which, incidentally, would've been my name if I'd been a girl. Or Isabel."

Luke: God, Tristan was so well read. He knew poetry and novels and authors and quotes and it made Luke's heart do silly things. It was so attractive to him, like heaven in a man.

"Do you have any flaws?"

Tristan: "I'm a hermit, I'm stubborn, I smell like fish, and I'm allergic to conventional soap and peanuts."

Luke: "Stubborn? You? What are you stubborn about?"

Tristan: "This ship mainly. My business."

Luke: "Then you have a right to be stubborn, it is your business, your rules. Your life. It is a leadership quality."

Tristan: "See, you'd think that, right? A while back some guy shows up at the docks, starts hanging around. And starts critiquing my upkeep of my ship."

Luke: "And what is it that Mr. Stubborn did?"

Tristan: "Argued with him, poked at him, refused to use his name. Usual petty things. Then the guy up and says he wants to invest in my ship. Times were lean then. The Adriana needed repairs but I couldn't afford them and feed myself. Guess he really liked boats and really felt sorry for me."

Luke: "Did you end up selling it?"

Tristan: "Nope. Took his money and brought her back to glory." He spread his arms, indicating the pristine ship they were sailing on. "Gorgeous, isn't she?"

Luke: "Yes," Luke's bright eyes focused on Tristan only, "gorgeous."

Tristan: Meanwhile, Tristan's were focused on his beloved ship. "Ever read a novel called The Venice Adriana?"

Luke: "I unfortunately can't say that I have."

Tristan: "It's a story about this writer that goes to Italy to interview a former opera diva for a book. Loosely based on the life of Maria Callas, who was my first love."

Luke: "Your... your first love?"

Tristan: "Yep. Only woman I could see myself with. If she came back to life right now and said 'Tristan, run away to Fiji with me', I'd go. Ever hear her do Carmen?"

Luke: "I have." He smiles gently, "I must say, you have very high standards for women."

Tristan: "So high that she's the only woman for me," Tristan chuckled. "I named my ship after her. Indirectly. The Venice Adriana."

Luke: "So... what are your standards for men?"

Tristan: Tristan sighed, chuckled again. "Hell if I know."

Luke: "That's fair." He chuckles.

Tristan: "Guess I'll know them when I'm meant to."

Luke: "I suppose so." He sadly muses, looking out at the vast nothingness. The sound of a bird crying out distracted him, and he starts to search for the creature.

"Can you hear that?"

Tristan: Tristan tilted his head toward the call. "Loon."

Luke: "It's in pain." He slowly stands. "I can feel it."

Tristan: "North, south, east, or west?"

Luke: "..." He's silent for a moment. "Up." He faces the sky and sees a bird trying desperately to fly. "There." He points upwards, to the east.

Tristan: Tristan's gaze followed Luke's finger, steering the ship in the same direction. "I don't suppose you can fly?"

Luke: Luke hesitated. "Well..." Answer enough, surely?

Tristan: "That a yes?" Being an angel did come with wings, didn't it?

Luke: Luke removes his jacket and starts to take off his shirt and all that came with it. The bird was flying towards a tree it would surely hit into. In a moment Luke was pushing off of the boat, causing it to rock gently as large white wings appear from his back. His skin glows a white, and he goes to stop animal.

Tristan: Before Tristan could so much as think to lower the sail again, Luke was up and stripping. "What are y...." Oh. Oh.

He was....he was actually an angel. Wings and ethereal glow and everything. Like in a stained-glass window.

And all Tristan could do was stare.

Luke: Luke had gotten in the way of the bird and the tree just in time, the bird cried out to him, a wing crooked and weak.

The angel lays his hands out, cupped together. He exudes calm, and it wouldn't only be the bird that feels the relaxation, but also every creature around. Including Tristan. The bird falls into Luke's hands and remains still to be taken back to the boat.

Tristan: Tristan heaved a long sigh, feeling a sense of peace wash over him that was unlike any he could ever remember feeling.

He took a moment to gather himself before lowering the sail and going below deck for the first aid kit.

Luke: Luke lands gently on the boat, wings folding against his back. The bird is laid on the floor and the angel starts to check for the cause of pain.

Tristan: "What's the matter with him?" Tristan asked as he emerged, small case in hand. "He break something?"

Luke: "I wonder if... someone tried to hunt him. It looks as though a sharp object tore through his wing here." He lifts it to show Tristan the bloodied injury, the bird calmly allowing him to do so. Fingers brush over the wound, and it slowly begins to heal.

Tristan: Tristan studied the wound. "If they did, they're a lousy shot. Lucky for him. Loons are a protected species but not everyone around here respects that."

Luke: "What a shame. They're beautiful." The birds hops up, jumps up onto Luke's lap and begins to sing. It stretches its wings out, now perfectly healthy.

Tristan: "I think it's that beauty that makes them a target." And wasn't that always the way?

Tristan had to stare in wonder for a moment. Knowing angels existed and actually seeing an angel be...well, an angel, were two very different things. It was amazing. "Guess we won't need this," he said, setting aside the first aid kit.

Luke: Luke smiles gently, "I'm sorry. I thought it would be quicker." The bird sings and pecks before flying away, leaving them alone once again.

Tristan: "No, no, nothing to be sorry about," said Tristan, smiling as the loon went on its way. "The loon's okay. That's the important thing."

Luke: Luke nods, standing and picking his shirt back up. "I agree."

Tristan: "Ready to set sail again?"

Luke: Once bundled up he nods and sits, "I am."

Tristan: Tristan raised the sail again, intending to get them back on course before changing his mind.

"I'm gonna drop you off at the docks. Shorter walk to Fletcher's from there."

Luke: Luke inhales sharply. "I'm going straight to Fletcher?"

Tristan: "....Aren't you?"

Luke: "... If I've over-stayed my welcome."

Tristan: "Not at all, I just thought since we...I thought you intended to go talk to him."

Luke: "I... do. I - I will. I... yes."

Tristan: "I can take us back to my dock. Longer walk, more time to think?"

Luke: He wanted to ask if he could spend the night hiding in Tristan's home, but he knew he couldn't be out all night and return to Fletcher the next day and expect there to be no reaction.

"No... it's... it's alright. Whatever is easier for you. Thank you."

Tristan: "Just a matter of steering, Luke," Tristan said softly. "If you want more time, I can give it to you."

Luke: Luke stands, going over by Tristan to watch him steer. "More time would be nice."

Tristan: "You got it." He nodded toward the wheel. "Wanna give it a try?"

Luke: Luke smiles and nods, moving closer.

Tristan: "All right, one hand here and another here." He guided Luke's hands into place. "Keep your movements slow and gentle. We're aiming....for that rogue cloud right over there."

Luke: Luke relaxes, following orders and finding a tight grip on the wheel. Oh, gentle - he loosens his hands.

"... Okay... don't let go." He laughs, "I don't want to be responsible for our untimely deaths."

Tristan: Tristan chuckled. "You've got this. No rocks or tricky spots to navigate around. Just straight ahead."

Luke: "How do I - do I steer in the opposite direction I want to go in?"

Tristan: "Very carefully. Turn too fast and the rudder will snap right in half. It helps if you've got a good wind to help you along, then all you have to do is reposition the sails."

Luke: "Sounds complicated." He grins, doing his best to keep them steady.

Tristan: "It can be," Tristan said with a smile. "Takes a while to get the hang of it and even then half of it is instinct."

Luke: "You must have a lot of instincts."

Tristan: "Sure do. I need them to keep me alive, especially when the sea's rough."

Luke: "Well... if you ever find it difficult... if you sincerely pray I can... I can help you. I'll hear it. Or just text me." He grins. "Whichever is easier."

Tristan: "That would be texting," he chuckled. He'd never been one for prayer, even when he was younger. He'd learned real fast that no one was up there listening. "And thank you, I'll definitely keep that in mind."

Luke: Luke smiles, "Of course." He was living proof that Tristan had been wrong about that, but he didn't mind. Either way, Luke was there. He was an option.

Tristan: One Tristan would definitely keep in mind if he ever found himself in a particularly dicey situation.

"All right, let me lower the sail and I'll take over," he said when his house and dock came into view a few minutes later.

Luke: He backs away, feeling quite proud that nothing had broken. "I'm academically clever, but things like that definitely stump me."

Tristan: "They stumped me, too, at first. But years of practice and a good teacher will make anyone more than capable of navigating a ship of any size."

With the sail lowered, Tristan guided them into dock.

Luke: While on the outside he smiled and watched them get closer to land, on the inside he was dreading every inch. He still hadn't decided what he wanted to come from his conversation with Fletcher. He didn't even know if he wanted a solution that night.

Probably not.

He doubted this would be such a quick fix.

Tristan: "Land ho," said Tristan, tossing the rope onto the dock as soon as it was close enough and jumping after it to tie them off.

Luke: Nerves set in and it shows on his face. He stands slowly.

"I suppose this is it, then."

Tristan: "Hey." Tristan offered Luke a reassuring smile. "Everything's gonna be okay, Luke."

Luke: Luke carefully steps out of the boat to squeeze his arm. "Thank you. Truly. For everything. I will repay you."

Tristan: "You're welcome, and you don't have to repay anything. This is what friends do."

Luke: "Friends," he repeats thoughtfully, stepping forward to bring him into a hug.

Tristan: "Friends," said Tristan, giving him a bolstering squeeze.

Luke: He gives Tristan a brief kiss on the cheek before backing up. "Would you like me to walk you home?"

Tristan: "Thanks, but I've got it from here. Wanna hang on to the scarf? Wind's picking up."

Luke: Luke shakes his head, "N-no I couldn't -" He had forgotten about it since it was so warm, but he starts to take it off.

Tristan: Tristan stilled his hands and wrapped it back around his neck. "Hang on to it, Luke."

Luke: His arms fall to his sides. "Okay." The angel nods, "Thank you."

Tristan: "No problem. You be careful, all right?"

Luke: "You too. Have a nice evening." He smiles with his eyes, since his mouth is buried in the scarf.

Tristan: He smiled back. "I will. Now go on before the wind gets worse and you catch pneumonia."

Luke: "Angels don't catch pneumonia," he teases, going to walk in the direction of Fletcher's home. He waves to Tristan.

Tristan: Tristan waved back, waiting until Luke disappeared from sight before going inside.

#In Need of a Shoulder thread #tristanseger #mournus

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spideys-pack · 7 years

Text

Death(s) in Infinity War??!!

My purely speculative ideas on what might happen to our heroes.. I hope none of it happens but in my mind, it’s possible.. Lets hope no one actually meets these fates..

I don’t hate any of these characters, unless I state so, I don’t mean any beef with anyone because again, these are just ideas that have been bouncing around my head since the trailer was leaked.. I thought I might as well let my thoughts out instead of letting them consume me at 5am or while I'm trying to take a relaxing shower.

They aren’t in like a countdown order either, I just need to number them because you know... OCD. I DO SWEAR SO BEWARE IF YOU DONT LIKE THAT. Now, without further stalling. Lets get to it.

1. Vision

Vision is probably on everyone’s lists because of the same reason which is an Infinity Stone literally being in his face. Thanos needs the Infinity Stones to complete his gauntlet. Considering the Mind Stone has the biggest spot on the gauntlet, perhaps it gives him the most power? Anyways, I think Thanos will want to take the stone from Vision and I’m willing to bet like my left big toe that he wouldn't be gentle about it and Vision wouldn't be able to survive the process. That’s why he’s on my list.

2. Wanda Maximoff / Scarlet Witch

As much as I hate to put Wanda on my list, it seems likely and makes sense that she could die or get seriously injured during Infinity War. Why? Because she may still be harbouring guilt over what happened in Lagos in Civil War. Yeah she did say to Vision that she couldn't control everyones fear and seemed to have accepted that she had made a mistake but I can’t help feel like because this is Wanda, one of the sweetest little smol beans in the MCU, she still feels bad about it and would die trying to prove to people that she is one of the good guys. That or her other most likely cause of death is trying to protect Vision from Thanos and dying in the process. I would honestly hate to see Wanda get hurt let alone die.

3. Drax The Destroyer

Everyone loves Drax and if you say you don’t you’re lying. But if you genuinely mean it... We can’t be friends. Perhaps everyone thinks Drax is going to die in Infinity war. Due to the fact that since the first Guardians movie he has been out for revenge for the death/killing of his family. That has been majority of his story arc. At first, he thought the killer and target was Ronan, the Accuser but in the first Guardians he declares Thanos the “real mission” after finding out Ronan was acting under his orders. Although Drax did literally punch Thanos’ heart out in one storyline, I feel like Marvel/the MCU won't let him get away with it and survive. I have a feeling they might kill one Avenger and one Guardian so each team has a reason to fight for one another or remain allies after the war. Drax will probably be the one to kill Thanos. That’s very likely. (But between you and I, I kind of hope it’s Nebula. After years of him shitting on her, I hope she seriously gets a few licks in or honestly fucks him up). Though he’ll probably be the one to do the deed, Drax will probably die doing it. This way, Marvel gets their victory and Drax gets his vengeance and doing so, is reunited with his family. But also saving his friends doing so. Making him not just Drax the Destroyer, but Drax the Hero.

4. Nick Fury

I know this one seems kind of far fetched, I mean I pitched it to one of my friends and she looked at me like I had sprouted a second head. Just hear me out though... So, basically The Avengers have broken up that’s obvious.

Side note: (For Friends fans...) It would be funny if like Cap or someone that got arrested because of Tony and his team brought it up and Tony just goes “We were on a break!” I would literally cackle myself into an early grave..

With the Avengers at odds, what could possibly bring them all together again emotionally more than physically? The death of Director Fury. I mean it worked for the first Avengers movie when Agent Coulson “died”. Since Fury has roots with pretty much all the Avengers, they may feel a need to unite to avenge Fury as well as protect the Earth but as a team. Marvel sometimes reuses plot ideas, perhaps they would do it for this one? Plus, Nick Fury is a fan favourite and it would no doubt have a very big emotional impact not only in the MCU but with the fans as well.

5. Thor

Now I would honestly rather rip my own intestines out of my ass than see Thor die. He’s one of my favourite characters from the MCU. He had the potential to be such a bruiting, tough guy character but instead we get our version and I couldn't be more in love with him. I mean this guy is literally a Norse God and he’s sitting there in his trailer telling Hulk/Bruce about how he “So much has happened since I last saw you! I lost my hammer like, yesterday so that’s still pretty fresh.” Like this guy is literally huge and I love that he’s not serious. “Did I win?” “No. I won. Easily.” I was laughing the whole trailer. Just fyi. Anyways, enough about my crush on Thor...

I hate to think that we could lose Thor. But, his death makes too much sense. The Thor movies don't make as much as the others (Cap, Iron Man). After Ragnarok, The Thor movies are done. Ragnarok ends his individual storyline. The movie also brings Asgard into the war. It’s likely Marvel will kill off Thor because they had even said they wanted to switch up the Avengers team line up, and getting rid of Thor who is one of the strongest could prompt the Avengers to recruit not one but multiple heroes to fill his place. My theory us sadly also backed up by the fact that Thor/Chris Hemsworth is not yet confirmed for the following Avengers or Marvel movies. Perhaps he has signed a contract and they’re keeping it under raps because they know we look into that shit but that could also be my wishful thinking...

6. Tony Stark / Iron Man

*Collective gasps from the crowd*

No, but seriously Marvel loves to build us up but then (hulk)smash us down. Think about how involved and intertwined Tony is with the whole MCU. He’s such a big character and he does a lot for the heroes. Plus, Marvel has launched a comic reboot storyline where Iron Man is now an Iron WOman. And let’s be honest, everyone is crawling over each other to get media attention over being supportive of women/races/LGBTQ... So, they would most likely kill Tony to bring in Riri Williams. Not only will this get them even more media coverage BUT it also allows them to send a huge shockwave throughout the MCU. With Tony being at odds with Cap and most of the Avengers, and him having a son-like figure in his protege, Peter Parker... He has people to leave behind and mourn in other movies. Tony Stark’s death would change the MCU a lot. But maybe too much? I’m still iffy on this one.

7. Natasha Romanoff / Black Widow

There’s no denying that Nat is a fan favourite. She’s also just about as much interweaved with the MCU as Tony. Appearing in several films, she is a huge supporting character but as much as we try, she's a supporting character and is in a group with heroes like Vision and Hawkeye where they are the most likely not to get stand alone films. She seems to always play a big role in the victory of the team we’re supposed to root for, An example would be when she helps Steve and Bucky get passed T’Challa in Civil War.

Side note: I would love to link this to the fact that Bucky and Natasha have a history. In the Comics that is, it isn't canon in the movies but I would also like to link Nat saying “You could at least recognize me” to Bucky in Civil War to that as well. Considering Nat and Bucky were romantically involved briefly, that could be an interesting arc considering whatever she has/had with Bruce. Either way, I would love Red Room flashbacks or even a movie...

It seems likely that Nat could get killed trying to help everyone with the war. Considering she is one of the team members who doesn't have powers... Thanos could easily, and regrettably rag doll the shit out of everyones favourite red head.

8. Bruce Banner / The Hulk

MARVEL. FUCKING. WOULD.

They would take Bruce “I know, I tried” away from us. One of Marvel’s biggest hard-hitters who also needs to be protected at all costs. For as long as he’s been in the MCU, Hulk has been seen as the tank. “We have a Hulk”. Perhaps during the Infinity War, our heroes over estimate Bruce and he goes up against Thanos and ends up dead because of it.

9. Thanos

Marvel has a tendency to kill off their villains before they necessarily should. I admit, I haven't even met MCU’s Thanos and I already want this mother fucker to get dropped but I would also love to see Marvel develop a villain. The only villain(s) they’ve really developed are Loki and The Winter Soldier and majority of us would argue that these two are not villains. They are pretty much the only two however who have been on the opposing side of our heroes and survived to come back and/or develop. Loki jumps back and forth between good and evil and Bucky was never truly evil, he was brainwashed. The other ones like The Red Skull and Obadiah Stane/War Monger die in fiery explosions before we even get to experience their full story. Although we spend most of their movies hoping and wishing for it. I just hope Marvel gives Thanos enough time to develop outside of the post-credit scenes before the Avengers and Guardians eventually bring him down, if they even do that in Infinity War.

10. Steve Rogers / Captain America

The thought of losing Cap really hurts, especially since he just got his bestie Bucky back. Although we all know this is going to happen. Chris Evans has been reported saying that he has indeed signed one more contract with Marvel after reading it over and feeling that one more movie was needed to wrap up Cap/Steve’s story. My thoughts are, what exactly is stopping Marvel from offing him in Infinity War and just making him majorly flashback-type scenes in the next one. We all know both Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes have dawned the Cap suit and Shield but he true question would be exactly who is Marvel’s choice? Perhaps Cap will in fact die in Infinity War and it will be Bucky who takes up the mantle and the only reason we see Steve is through Bucky’s returning memories as he tries to handle being Cap?

11. Loki

Loki is another one of my favourites, only due to the fact that I’m weak when it comes to misunderstood villainy... *cough* Jason Todd *cough* It’s not just me who has succumbed to the seduction of the God of Mischief and his constant knack for well... Mischief. Loki has died in the MCU but he always seems to come back. If Marvel is planning on keeping Thor around, having Loki actually die just might break him if they want to pro sue a more serious angle, we’ve seen what Loki’s death does to Thor. Perhaps having Loki die after he presumably gives over the Tesseract may fuel Thor with enough rage to be one of the potential people to take Thanos out..

12. Nebula

Nebula is a likely casualty of the Infinity War. Simply because of her role in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2.

Or, perhaps she plays a much larger role in Infinity War. In one storyline Nebula steals the Infinity Gauntlet and sabotages Thanos betraying him. If Nebula does this, Thanos could easily kill her. After she was humanized in GOTG Vol. 2, this might be an emotional trauma Marvel could want to inflict on Gamora. Gamora has a possibilty of playing a big role in the destruction of Thanos but having her lose her sister who she kinda patched things up with... That could give her the edge she needs. Despite how much I want to see more of Nebula and have more development for her, this seems possible.

13. Sam Wilson / Falcon

Sam Wilson would honestly in my opinion, be a tragic loss. His character was amazing from his first 30 seconds on screen. He has heart and humour and it’s hard not to love his character but that’s also a moth to flame with Marvel. They might kill off Sam to not only hurt Steve but also promote Bucky to have something to avenge after Steve dies and he has to become Captain America. We’ve already seen Bucky throw himself in front of Sam to take the brunt of a hit from Spidey so maybe, just maybe there’s some sort of friendship there and killing one of them might trigger Bucky’s need to become an Avenger kicking off a storyline that could support Marvel’s 9 contract deal with Sebastian.

14. King T’Challa / Black Panther

Why T’Challa? You ask... Well, as much as I would like to say it’s because Chadwick is just too precious for this world and be done with it, I must make a point.. Marvel probably won’t want to have two multi-billionaire badasses with equally badass suits in play. This is assuming they don't kill Tony, perhaps they will kill T’Challa? Again, this goes back to my theories surrounding Sebby Stan’s 9 contract deal. I think it’s very likely they have chosen to follow the storyline of Bucky becoming Cap after Steve is gone. From the Infinity War trailer, it looks like Bucky is settled in with T’Challa and the Wakandans. Or is that just me? Perhaps Bucky decides to stay in Wakanda. After all, the world isn't exactly welcoming him with open arms at the moment.. How do they get Bucky out of Africa so he can become Captain America? They kill off T’Challa. His only tie to Wakanda.

I don’t know a lot about Chadwick Boseman’s contracts and I can’t seem to find anything but this again is one of my more iffy theories. I hope it doesn't come true, I love T’Challa, or what we’ve gotten so far, I hope we get a lot more.

15. Peter Parker / Spider-Man = Tony Stark Version 2?

I know, I know.. The thought kills me too. We just got our MCU Peter Parker and I think it’s safe to say, everyone loves having him.

I have Peter on my list not as a death though. I just think he’s going to get seriously injured. Marvel might just be baiting us with that whole trailer “Tony, I’m sorry.” snippet but at the same time, Peter getting injured makes sense to carry a certain plot line. *cough* Tony’s death *cough*. Tony stated in Spider-Man: Homecoming “And if you die, I feel like that’s on me. I don’t need that on my conscience.” Tony’s compassion and love for the people in his life is a special thing. Something I honestly love about Tony. But, it could be his downfall. In Ultron, we saw that Tony’s worst fear is the Avengers dying and the fact that he “Could have saved us. Why didn’t you do more?”. Tony is a protector. So, having Peter around during the battle could be dangerous and potentially fatal for Tony. Peter has sort of become Tony’s surrogate son/protege and I don’t think he would let anything happen to him. If/when Peter gets injured in Infinity War, I think it will throw Tony off his game. He may feel guilty or worried about Peter and being distracted like that while facing someone like Thanos? Let’s just say if anything happens to Peter, we shouldn't just be worried about him, we should also be worried about Tony.

16. The Stark Era/Legacy

I swear to you, I don't hate Tony or RDJ. I just can't shake the thought that we’re going to have to say goodbye to him.

The MCU started with Tony, even if the earliest events take place in the 1940′s with Cap. It was a Stark that made Steve Cap. The Starks are rooted in the MCU and are the basic foundation of it. They’re heavily involved with all of the events of the MCU. This theory isn't entirely the death of Tony Stark but the death of Stark involvement.

Let me explain/paint a picture...

Captain America: The First Avenger: Howard Stark develops a serum that can turn an ordinary man into the ultimate soldier. Thus, creating Captain America which in turn saved America from destruction. And well, German rule. Howard’s super soldier was the one that took down The Red Skull before he could develop and distribute deadly weapons to Hitler and his Nazis. In doing so, the Americans and their allies were able to stop Hitler. Also, it was Howard who built that iconic shield and thought to build it from Wakandan vibranium.

Iron Man: Tony is running his father’s business seemingly where he left it. Using intellect no doubt inherited from his father, he develops weapons and other tech to continue to protect the world that Howard had helped protect in the 1940′s. The plot of Iron Man is showing Tony not only becoming Iron Man but Obadiah, becoming greedy with power and wanting to overthrow Tony. It was Stark tech that ended up saving Tony and America from terrorists and Obadiah.

Skipping forward to the Avengers...

The Avengers: It’s obvious that Tony had been playing with the idea of the Avengers with S.H.I.E.L.D. He doesn't say something like: “What the hell is that?” When Pepper mentions it. It also seems like it was Tony who had been talking to Pepper about it in the first place when she says “Which I know nothing about...” So obviously Tony had been part of coming up with the idea. So, we can thank a Stark brain for the Avengers too???

Avengers: Age of Ultron: No one lets us forget that Ultron was Tony’s fault. Especially Tony. “And then Ultron.. My fault.” (Civil War). Tony was scared for the safety of Earth and more importantly it seems, his team mates. After his vision of the Avengers laying dead and Cap accusing him of not doing enough Tony gets the idea to create the synthetic being that is, Ultron. His intentions were good but his execution faltered.

Captain America: Civil War: I won’t say that Civil War was Tony’s fault because it wasn't, it was equally Cap’s too for not wanting to sign the contract just as Tony did want to. It was a Stark who opposed the title character which carried the plot. And when all of the basic plot lines were complete, the big finale drawing the movie to a close for the final climax battle was because Tony found out Bucky had killed guess who under HYDRA’s control??

Howard and Maria Stark.

At the end of that fight, we see Cap give up his mantle to continue protecting Bucky. What was the reason to give up his mantle?

“That shield doesn't belong to you.You don’t deserve it. My father made that shield!”

(Oh, yeah.. a little side note.. Go back to watch that fight scene and at the end when Steve helps Bucky up, Sebastian’s groan in that scene holy fuck, jesus on a tricycle it’s HOT.)

Spider-Man: Homecoming: Tony was the one who built Spidey’s new suit. He was also the one that gave Peter the idea that he was capable of a lot more than stopping “grand theft bicycles”. I mean he held his own against THE Captain America. In one scene Peter and Tony start to argue and Peter’s reasoning for all of his behaviour throughout the movie was because: “I just wanted to be like you.” So, Peter’s mistakes and actions throughout his movie were rooted from the fact that he just wanted to be like Tony.

Avengers: Infinity War: This movie hasn't even come out yet so I’m not going to act like I know Tony’s full involvement or whatever, but we do know that Peter is prepared for the war because of his brand new Iron Spider suit curtesy of you guessed it, Mr. Anthony Stark.

Also, Marvel might lean more towards this option because keep in mind, RDJ is getting hella expensive because even he knows how important he is to Marvel’s cinematic universe. They might lean more towards offing Tony to save themselves some cash..

Therefore, if Marvel really decided to kill off Tony, that would be the end of heavy Stark influence. Of course, the Starks would still be present but only as a memory and a company. There wouldn't be an actual Stark to back everything up or come up with new ideas. Unless Pepper is cooking up a little Stark bun in the oven, Tony’s death would mark the end of the Stark line, thus, lessening his influence in the MCU.

71 notes · View notes

bevioletskies · 7 years

Text

20 questions [9/20]

characters: peter/gamora, guardians-centric

fandom: avengers academy/marvel cinematic universe

summary: wasp has a new competition in store for the students of avengers academy, and there’s money involved. so obviously, peter and gamora have to pretend to be a couple in order to win. wait, what?

chapter preview: some of the guardians take off in search of nebula, peter lives in the deep canyon of denial, and gamora reflects on how her life has changed since becoming a guardian.

word count: 4310 | total word count: 118k

a/n: this entire fic is just me going “peter pls” tbh

ao3 | previously | next | masterpost

The drive back to campus was...tense, to say the least. Not because they were fighting again, but because Peter could tell Gamora had trapped herself in her own mind, running over dozens upon dozens of ideas of what Nebula was planning on doing, and what they had to do in response.

The radio was playing the traffic report, occasionally telling them of an accident far off from their route home, and the light show had long ended, now that it was approximately 2:30 in the morning. It was just the droning sound of a graveyard-shift radio host and the occasional honk of an obnoxious cab driver that kept them company.

Although Peter knew his mind needed to be focused on the mission at hand (or at the very least, his driving), he couldn’t help but find himself mentally wandering back to two hours ago, when he and Gamora had nearly kissed. It was different than their first near-kiss on Knowhere, the one that had resulted in a knife to his jugular. The look on Gamora’s face, as if she’d experienced some epiphany that needed a conclusion right at that very moment - and they had been so close! Now, she couldn’t be further away despite being seated next to him, looking off into the distance, her brows furrowed in concentration, lips pursed, probably calculating ten different scenarios in her head at once, and not at all thinking about what had transpired before.

“Gamora?” he said, voice soft. She nodded for him to continue, never turning or making a sound. “I don’t know what your exact plan is yet - if you have one - but I think it would be best if some of us stay on Terra. It’ll be especially bad if Earth gets another intergalactic threat and we’re all away.”

“I’ll take Mantis and Drax,” she replied, her voice distant. “It’ll help us subdue Nebula in two different ways, if it comes to that. I don’t want her getting violent around Rocket or Groot, and Yondu’s arrow will be of little use in threatening her, considering what happened last time.”

“Makes sense.” They fell silent again, as if they had nothing more to say to each other, despite having so much left to talk about. It was going to be a long trip back.

______

The SHIELD agent at the gate had been confused upon seeing them, as they weren’t expected back until noon. However, Gamora had called ahead, asking Rocket to get Groot to fake an illness in case security called the Milano to check on their story. After that, he waved them through with a disinterested yawn.

They boarded the ship ten minutes later and were greeted by the other Guardians, who were whispering frantically to one another about what to do. After hearing Gamora’s plan for splitting up, they came to a consensus (after some minor protesting from Rocket) and moved to pack their things.

Peter volunteered to help Mantis with her stuff, knowing she often deliberated too long on what to take. The moment her bedroom door was closed, he felt odd. It was the first time he’d been fully out of Gamora’s presence in three days. “How was the trip, Peter?” she asked softly as they began rummaging through her weapons storage unit. “I saw the photos on social media. You looked very happy.”

“It was fun,” he said with a shrug, and it had been, if not confusing in the end. “I think Gamora and I, we have a better understanding of each other now.”

“That is good. You both make very good team leaders.” Mantis smiled brightly as she pulled out a set of knives, one that had been gifted to her by Gamora not long after she’d been recruited.

Peter wisely chose not to say anything about the “moment” they had. Maybe he had built it up more than it really was, and Gamora had already left it behind in their hotel, never to be addressed again. It didn’t need to be awkward, right? It just didn’t.

He decided to steer the conversation elsewhere before Mantis got a little too close for comfort, asking her whether Yondu had behaved (he hadn’t), whether Groot had been a good kid (he had), and if the weekend had been relatively calm, aside from the whole Nebula-going-off-planet thing (it hadn’t. Apparently Peter Parker had attracted some unwanted attention. Honestly, how was he not the problematic Peter at this school?). They were interrupted not ten minutes later by a loud clanging noise at the loading deck. The team scrambled outside, guns and blades ready, only to immediately cower and drop everything.

Director Fury stood there, feet shoulder-width apart in his signature power stance, hands clasped behind his back, trenchcoat flapping in the wind as always. Peter briefly had the crazy idea to ask the Director if he had any special tricks for looking extra dramatic in a longcoat, because his sometimes got trapped around his ankles when he danced. “Going somewhere?”

“Just cleaning up, Director,” Peter said cheerily, stepping forward. “You scared us.”

“Groot doesn’t look sick,” Fury said, gesturing at the little one, who was sitting on Gamora’s shoulder and chewing on what looked like a nail file in his tiny hand. “So why are you two back so soon? Your little love trip go sour?”

“My sister has gone missing, sir,” Gamora confessed, her defensive stance slacking as the fight left her body. “She was spotted near the Kyln, where she had murdered several prisoners in an attempt to find us, back when she was still with Ronan. I suspect she’s searching for Thanos, and we need to retrieve her but have no way of doing so.”

Fury sighed the sigh of a man who spent a lot more time wrangling teenagers than he’d like to. “I’ve got you a ship. It’s not the Milano, but it’ll do. Who’s going? You need permission forms to get out of your classes, and I’ll sign ’em.”

Peter stared. “Is that a thing here? I have never heard that before in my life.”

“Just tell me who’s going, Quill, before I change my mind,” Fury barked.

“Myself, Mantis, and Drax,” Gamora said quickly, shooting Peter an annoyed look. “Thank you, Director, I appreciate it.”

Fury waved a hand. “Alright, you three, let’s get going. Say your goodbyes, it could take awhile before you come back.”

Groot, predictably, became very distressed, clinging onto Gamora’s hair and letting out a high pitched whine, not unlike a puppy whose owner was leaving for work. Realizing that Fury was watching, Gamora set Groot down on Rocket’s shoulder and reached to wrap her arms around Peter’s waist, a hesitant stiffness in her arms that she hoped the Director wouldn’t notice.

“We’ll call to check in every day,” she promised, her hand moving to cup his jaw. “I’ll see you soon, Star-Lord.”

Even Rocket couldn’t be bothered to make a gagging noise, as he was staring at the others with an oddly forlorn expression. Peter pulled Gamora in closer, wondering if he could possibly convey every confusing thing he had been thinking and feeling about her in their embrace. She kissed him, a much more prolonged kiss than the one in Central Park, but still devoid of the emotional weight of mere hours ago. Somehow, it made Peter feel worse about the whole situation.

“Don’t miss me too much,” Peter said jokingly, finally letting her go. His view of her walking away to stand near Fury was obscured by Mantis practically jumping into his arms. “Whoa, hey. You be careful, Mantis, okay? You’re a badass, but you’ve never been out that far. Let the others take point on this one.”

Drax wrapped an arm around Peter’s shoulder, murmuring something in his language that he had told them previously was his people’s blessing of protection. Peter wanted to learn it so he could say it back, but there were too many consonants and not enough tongue dexterity.

After the three passed around the other Guardians, saying their goodbyes, Fury finally managed to direct them off the Milano, disappearing into the darkness.

“That was quite a show you put on jus’ now,” Yondu commented as they somberly settled in at the communal table. “Almost looked legitimate.”

“Is that really what we’re talking about right now?” Peter kicked his feet up, staring at his uneven shoelaces so he’d have something to fixate on before his brain took him further into a downward spiral. “You’ve got weird priorities, Yondu.”

“You weren’t here for all the panic earlier, Quill,” Rocket said. His voice sounded oddly affected. “Might need something less heavy to talk about while they’re gone.”

“I am Groot,” Groot said sadly, hopping onto Peter’s lap and snuggling into his belly, tiny fingers digging into Peter’s waist. “I am Groot.”

“Stop calling her mom,” Rocket said, though it was half-hearted. “Of course Quill misses her, the whole d’ast galaxy can probably see his crush from miles away.”

“I just came here to finally get some rest and I feel so attacked,” Peter said, standing up (but not before carefully setting Groot back onto the table). “I’m going to bed. Come find me when you wanna talk about something other than me and Gamora, okay?”

______

The whole campus woke up to a rather sober image of the Guardians. The team, though often split up during missions, were never fully separated the way they were now, and it was evident. Peter, Yondu, Rocket, and Groot, all varying types of chipper, loud personalities, seemed disconnected in class. The professors took pity on them and left them alone for the most part, but the students seemed especially sympathetic towards Peter, who, in their eyes, was currently without his sister and his girlfriend.

“If you need some company, you’re welcome to join us, Peter,” Steve said in that ever-so-gentle voice of his, a stark contrast to his authoritative Captain America voice. “All of you.”

“Might take you up on that offer,” Peter said with a weak smile. “Thanks.”

Sitting with the Avengers at lunch seemed pretty surreal. The other Guardians had declined in favour of going back to mope on the Milano, so Peter was left alone with Steve’s usual crew of Barnes, Wilson, and Romanoff. At the next table over, he could see Tony with Rhodey, Pepper, Janet, and Parker, who was being watched by a table of his usual admirers. For a supposed “nerd”, Parker has some game, Peter thought.

“I guess you guys haven’t really been this far apart before,” Sam said when Peter first sat down.

“Sam - ”

“No, Steve, don’t try to sugarcoat it. Peter might wanna talk it out,” Sam said, waving a carrot stick at Cap. “I mean, let’s be real. We Avengers? We have fights every damn day. The Defenders are constantly at odds, but you Guardians have this real family bond going on, and I think that’s cool. But I bet it makes it harder to be away from each other.”

“I’m worried about my sister,” Peter said, twisting his juice bottle around in his hand aimlessly. “She’s so...gentle, y’know? And I hate to think what she’ll witness out there if Nebula’s on a revenge rampage.”

“She’s a good kid,” Sam nodded. “But she’s got good company right now, yeah?”

“Gamora’s been taking Mantis under her wing,” Natasha said. “I think they’ll be okay, Quill. Don’t worry.”

He smiled. “Thanks, guys. I know we’ve kinda been keeping our teams mostly separate, but it means a lot to know that we’ve got each other’s backs.” Biting at his lip, he considered whether to play up the angle a little more. “At least I got a really nice weekend in with Gamora before we had to get separated.”

“Jan showed me some of the photos. You guys look real swell together,” Steve said, shooting an encouraging smile back. “Me and Peggy have some competition.”

“Nah,” Peter said, waving a hand. “You guys got that whole epic war love story thing that spans decades.”

“Decades in which I was on ice, and Peggy technically died while I was gone,” Steve reminded him. “We got back together when she came back, but we’ve probably only been dating for about ten months.”

“How long have you and Gamora been together again?” Natasha said, blinking at him innocently, though Peter could tell she was thinking about something. What, he wasn’t sure.

“Five months by the time she gets back,” he sighed. “At least, I can hope they won’t be gone any longer than that. I wanna do something special for our six-month, even though I know she’s not super into anniversaries.”

“Did you do anything for the other anniversaries?” Natasha was leaning a bit closer now, and the others looked slightly uncomfortable.

“I got her this modified multi-tool. Don’t think she actually uses it, but I know she keeps it on her as like, a keepsake,” Peter said, crossing his fingers this wasn’t something Natasha had tested on Gamora before. He should probably update her on the fake stories they had to spread. “Like I said, anniversaries aren’t really that important to her.”

“What’s it like, dating someone like Gamora?” Peter almost jumped at the sound of Barnes’s monotonous voice, which always sounded partially confrontational, and partially sad. No one could blame him for either, not after what he’d been through. It was then that Peter also remembered Barnes had a giant crush on Natasha, and knew what he was really asking.

“It’s honestly really great,” he said. He moved to unwrap his sandwich and rearrange his lunch tray, in an attempt to distract himself from the truth and the lies of his own words. “I mean, Gamora’s my best friend too, which I think is super important in relationships, y’know? And, uh, she’s this, powerful badass who can also be a really warm, fun person. It’s like, she slays a bunch of monsters with her Godslayer, and then she cuddles me when we’re watching movies together. It’s super awesome.” He looked up to see all of them watching him even more carefully than before. “I think everyone expects her to be as authoritative and type-A in relationships as she is in battle, but it’s not like that. She’s affectionate, and sweet, and…” Peter trailed off with a shrug. “She’s basically the most important person in my life.”

“Wow,” Steve chuckled. “I’m really happy for you, Peter. You two deserve a win.”

“Thanks,” Peter said. There was a warmth in his cheeks that hadn’t been there before - where had all those words come from? “So, how about you and Carter? Haven’t really spent much time around her but I’ve heard the old stories, and I’m pretty sure every girl on campus I know worships her, so she must be pretty awesome.”

Sam and Bucky groaned in sync. “Oh, don’t get him started,” Sam laughed, playfully flicking a grape at Steve’s head. Peter chuckled at the sight, grateful to be able to relax for the first time since she’d - they’d - left.

______

Three agonizingly long days passed before the three of them had gotten remotely close to the Kyln. It was weird, being on a ship that wasn’t theirs, with most of their team back on Terra. Gamora was mostly in charge of piloting the ship, as Drax and Mantis had little experience in comparison, and it was honestly quite lonely. She had grown so used to bickering, to the sounds of Rocket’s tools and Peter’s music and Groot’s little voice, that the casual, low-key chatter that Drax and Mantis engaged in felt all wrong.

She knew Drax and Mantis were close, having bonded quickly on Ego’s planet, and made it clear they had no romantic feelings towards each other, but their platonic love for each other was strong. Drax was something of a second brother to Mantis, insistent on protecting her and sparing her from the uglier parts of their battles. Gamora wondered if Mantis secretly disliked that both he and Peter kept her away from the real fight, if she wanted to make those decisions for herself. It was why she and Nebula had opted to train Mantis more, in hopes she would be strong enough to properly be alongside them.

If one had asked Gamora two years ago what her idea of family was like, she would have given a condescending laugh and a shake of her head. Her family was long gone, dead, killed without mercy at the hands of a man who referred to himself as her father. Now, she had what she would have seen as trivial problems - how to keep Groot from falling into the garbage disposal, how to stop Rocket from blowing everything up. What the best way to train Mantis was, how to teach Drax to be more tactful in how he treated other people. How to convince Yondu to properly engage in school, how to make Peter more responsible. All for her newfound family.

As for her actual family, her sister, she was a different story altogether. They approached the cluster of small rock settlements outside the Kyln, and she felt a sense of dread, then a sense of guilt. How could she feel so reluctant to save Nebula? She had to remind herself constantly that Nebula was not yet a lost cause, that she was worth going after. Gamora couldn’t abandon her when she clearly had issues she still needed to work through, issues that needed the strong support system they had built for themselves with the Guardians.

“We should send out a message, and see if any of them know where she is,” Mantis suggested.

“I doubt they will answer honestly. Perhaps we should just land and intimidate them into answering us,” Drax said. He looked like he was itching for a fight.

“Message first, intimidate later,” Gamora allowed. “Mantis? You want to do it?”

Five hours later, and Gamora was honestly bored. They had transmitted a message down to the Nova station after deliberating over their word choice for an hour (Drax didn't think they expressed the urgency of Nebula’s destructive potential enough, Gamora thought it was unnecessary to threaten to decapitate them if they didn’t answer), and there had been no response so far. Instead, they hovered around the cluster like they had nothing better to do.

The three of them decided it would be a good time to catch up on schoolwork, despite it being hard to concentrate. It was getting increasingly difficult to think at all, when they were floating in the middle of nowhere, on a ship that was too sleek and shiny to feel like home, with no idea of what was to come. Gamora considered when would be too early to tentatively message Peter and ask him to follow with the rest of their team. They had given the Nova station until midnight to respond, but what if they landed and found that Nebula had already left? It was highly likely, what with her ability to sneak in and out of locations with ease. The trail could have already gone cold before they’d left Terra.

Ding.

“It’s mine,” Gamora said when Drax and Mantis looked up. “I’ll take it into my room.”

She retreated to her bunk with her holo-tab, settling in on the bed that was too comfortable, lacking in Peter’s glow-in-the-dark stickers or the suspicious engine oil smell of the Milano to keep her company. Gamora had long muted the girls’ chat group since it was an endless string of chatter, though she did occasionally pop in to check on them. Her other most used conversation thread as of late was Peter.

Peter: hey just a warning the avengers asked me some stuff about you today

Peter: i said the terran multi-tool i gave you was an anniversary gift

Peter: i also said you like to cuddle

Peter: i’d say sorry but both are kind of true

She couldn’t help but snort in laughter, reading the messages in Peter’s voice in her head. Things had been a little tense between them since their dance in the hotel room, but if anyone was going to lighten up the mood, it was him.

Gamora: i’ll accept the first and deny the second

Gamora: mantis has already run out of twizzlers. we’ve only been gone for three days

She glanced around for a moment, wondering if she should grab her homework and bring it back to her bunk. Then again, her brain was still weighing heavily on everything that was going on with Nebula - even her stomach was a little queasy - so she probably wouldn’t be as productive as she’d like. Surprisingly, Peter responded about thirty seconds later.

Peter: WHAT

Peter: i packed her like two whole bags plus a package of nibs??

Peter: i did that as a JOKE

Peter: i’m taking her to a dentist when you guys get back

Gamora felt like she was going crazy, laughing to herself so hard that she was curled up on her side, clutching at her stomach. She imagined that if Drax and Mantis could hear, they’d probably think something was wrong.

Peter: so any luck?

Gamora: we sent a message to the nova station four hours ago and nothing. we’ll land at midnight if we still get no response

Peter: aw that sucks. i’d tell you to be careful but it’s kind of an unspoken thing at this point :p

Peter: btw if you’re looking for something to do, i put a few movies on mantis’s holo. stuff you’ve already seen though

Gamora: that’ll be helpful, we’re already quite bored. have you been watching anything new?

Peter: had a couple in mind but i thought i’d save it for when you get back

Peter: i like that we’ve got some traditions going on :)

Her laughter had come to a stop as she rested her head on her pillow, staring at the last two messages with a sort of awe. He’d said it before about their game of 20 Questions, how it was something that brought them closer, but there was something touching about how Peter would nonchalantly mention he was saving something so he could specifically share it with her. Before, it had been movies he’d seen as a child, movies he’d already watched on the recommendation of other Terran students who were excited to tell Peter about new things in their culture. But now it was a simple pleasure he denied himself because he wanted her to be a part of it, too.

It was times like this where Gamora wished she remembered things about her people, her home, to share as well. Drax still had such fond memories of his family, despite having lost them in such a brutal manner. Rocket and Yondu had rather traumatizing origins, so neither had a home to speak of. But she and Mantis were taken when they were young, so unsure of what they came from and who they could have been. And now, everyone was starting to pick up mannerisms and habits from Peter, not just because they were on his home planet, but because he soaked up every moment of his culture and wanted the others to experience it with him.

Gamora: i enjoy it too.

______

As the days passed, the Guardians that remained at the Academy were given less and less leeway. It wasn’t that people didn’t feel sorry for them, it was that there was only so much sympathy to give. The others had straightened up a little, gotten back into their typical ways, but Peter continued feeling oddly morose. They’d been gone for a week and a half now, having found only dead bodies at the Nova post and stopped over at the Kyln to find more dead bodies and traumatized witnesses, and were now wondering, reluctantly, if they should come back.

The messages, though light-hearted at first, became more emotionally distant as time went on. Even Mantis, who usually had something chipper to say whenever she checked in with Peter, didn’t sound very optimistic in her last correspondence. Drax was down to very short sentences or even one to two-word answers, and Gamora…

She sounded tired. Exhausted of all her options, of where Nebula was and if she was, dare they say it, alive. Peter wanted to be there for her, but he knew that splitting them up was the smartest thing to do. If both leaders of the team were off-planet, things would get chaotic, fast.

He rolled over onto his back, staring at the ceiling. He’d taken to holing himself up in his dorm room more than usual, while the others practically lived on the Milano, with Rocket distracting himself with repairs, and Groot keeping him company as always. He knew Yondu especially would tease him about missing Gamora, but it was true. As much as he wanted to lie and say he missed Mantis most, he just didn’t. Gamora was a steady hand, a welcome presence in every aspect of his life, and now she was struggling out there, and he couldn’t do anything to help.

There was also the fact that Yondu had put that stupid idea in Peter’s head - a crush on Gamora? Sure, he had been attracted to her when they first met, wouldn’t say no if she actually wanted to date him, but...Peter sighed. He had nothing. There was nothing he could do or say for plausible deniability. He had a crush the size of the entire galaxy on his best friend.

He reached over to grab his tablet, scrolling back through their conversation history. The jokes, the gentle ribbing, the sometimes-serious discussion about what to do next. And then, at the very bottom, sat almost mockingly:

Peter [unsent]: i can’t wait til you’re back. i miss you.

a/n: this chapter is definitely more character-driven than plot-driven, but i wanted to give a peek inside their heads every now and then so y’all can understand where they’re coming from

peter, my sweet summer child, please do yourself a favour and send that message

#starmora #peter x gamora #peter quill #gamora #avengers academy #myfic #myfic: 20q #marvel #the excessive amount of italics in here yikes #i need to Chill #also sorry that i'm spamming the starmora tag so much?? there's just a lot of gif material all of a sudden

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cold-neon-ocean · 4 years

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Concerning the comics, do you dislike Thanos himself or the Black Order's previous (?) affiliation with him?

A mix of both but primarily the former. Thanos is my least favorite fictional character in existence so I’ll always grind my teeth at The Order’s subservience to him seemingly without much reason in the earlier comics aside from “they’re evil and Thanos is the biggest evil so they worship him!” because to me it’s boring. I don’t like god-mod characters and Thanos is the epitome of that trope. “He’s so powerful that only gets defeated by the heroes because he subconsciously wants to lose as punishment, isn’t he just the most tragic villain ever ;A;” gags

Regarding The Order’s affiliation with him I don’t.. MIND it, in fact I do like it as a set up for their coming together, I just wish it was written where the characters had some more agency and Marvel would actually allow them to move on once he’s gone. Admittedly with the Thanos 2019 comics they did seem to attempt this (despite how many holes it poked in the known canon among other things), and I liked some of the ideas presented, mainly The Order starting out as hired mercenaries with Proxima and Maw, I loved that a lot, and how their loyalty is conditional so long as they are benefiting from the partnership (maybe not as flip-floppy as they were in the comics) and are willing to dip out if they aren’t. THAT I really like even though that was clearly never the case in previous comics lol. The problem is that I- love Proxima SO MUCH, and I hate Thanos SO MUCH so my brain doesn’t want her anywhere near him, especially as some mindless lackey because she deserves better lol. Also my issues could stem from my primary introduction to The Black Order came from the MCU where they are VASTLY different characters than what they are in the comics, and far less developed so I had a lot more room to headcanon and make up my own stuff about them freely before I started looking into them in the comics (which could also explain my mixed feelings about how they’ve been written lately in the comics post-Thanos). I do want to preface that I don’t have a complete knowledge of The Order’s history because I can’t find complete lists of all the comics they’re in. Though from what I can find I’ve read most of their content if I’m not mistaken, but I’m sure there are some more obscure minor appearances that maybe explain some things that haven’t been listed anywhere that I’ve missed.

If I were to throw in my input and talk about MY rendition of The Black Order which is how I choose to write them based on my own personal tastes in my side AU where the Marvel Universe is much less CONVOLUTED(the same AU all my Ronan and Crystal content exists in), I have things set up jumping off the initial ideas of Thanos 2019, where the mercenary group Maw and Proxima were in were initially hired by Thanos, with Cull (I refer to Black Dwarf by his MCU name because I like it better lol) and Corvus being added later. And the affiliation is very conditional from The Order’s perspective. The Order are always watching and judging and gauging whether or not the partnership is worth maintaining, Maw and Proxima especially, and even though I try to write for Thanos as little as possible because I hate touching him and only do what’s absolutely necessary, he can feel the pulls of their defiance at times (with Proxima ESPECIALLY) and has to really think about how he holds onto them, hence the change from hiring adults to kidnapping children who are much easier to condition. Think of them as akin to the hyenas and Scar in The Lion King, loyalty and a willingness to do as they’re told until they stop benefiting from it (though the fear of being hunted down and killed for disloyalty keeps them there as well) and later on realizing, and some having known from the beginning, that they’re meant for more than just being servants and want more for themselves. But that’s in my perfect would.

What I mainly don’t like about how The Order were written under Thanos in the canon is that they’re just lackeys with not much to them, we know nothing about them like when or why they joined (prior to Thanos 2019 ofc but even then we still don’t knew when or how Cull and Corvus came into the picture), just that they did and that’s all that matters. They’re there because they’re evil and that’s about it, they’re blind followers with not a single thought going on in their own heads. That did change over time of course but The Order are STILL functioning under a “what if Thanos comes back” basis, like they’ll have no choice but to go crawling back to him whenever/if he does because that’s just what they do? I knew Marvel would never keep Thanos permanently dead in the comics like they said they would lol I called bullshit on that from day one. When Maw mentioned Thanos’ return in Star #5 I rolled my eyes so hard they nearly fell out of my mouth because I KNEW that was coming (though I do appreciate how Proxima didn’t give a single shit about it lmao). There was also something said preceding the Black Order solo comics in 2019 about how Corvus will still ALWAYS choose Thanos above all else, even his wife and brother, which made ZERO sense??? and also I wasn’t sure why this needed stating when Thanos was canonically dead in the comics following the statement that he’d be perma-dead. It felt like they just weren’t gonna let him grow as there was always that possibility they’d bring Thanos back and send The Order right back to him, undoing all the development they’ve done without him like they’ve done before. I remember when Thanos made Corvus kill himself after he returned and formed a new Black Order and Proxima just... didn’t react to it, though this seemed to be retconned after the universe reset so I’m still confused about that. I also think about how in the Death Sentence novel (and I know this kind of exists in it’s own separate universe but just discussing the overall mentality of writing The Order), again Corvus in particular is written like he needs someone to lead him or he can’t even properly function and he even has a full blown emotional breakdown when he realizes Thanos is back and I just… hate it. Him and Proxima “needing” Thanos to be their god and lead them it’s just stupid and weird and I can’t stand it. I remember Proxima even makes an internal statement about how Corvus falls apart when he doesn’t have someone leading him???

So my main issue in regards to Thanos’ affiliation with The Order as it’s written in the canon is that they’re written as if they can’t do anything without him, ofc this is all before the big universe reset with The Challenger where Thanos is supposedly dead for good but we all know that isn’t true. They were given some agency when they were on their own but with the mention of Thanos in the recent Star comic I have… little hope for them remaining their own thing. They talk about how they don’t want to be servants and how they want to do their own thing then the writers have them fall right back into their old beats of being servants for someone and chasing infinity stones and worrying about what T fucking Hanos will think when he comes back and I just…….. want more for them. I want them to be more fleshed out as characters and have actual ambitions and goals that align with their actions. Because they’re such interesting characters that I genuinely love(well most of them) and have a lot of potential, and I want to see them grow and develop and actually follow through with what they say and not get dragged backwards every time the plot requires them to. I’m still catching up on all my Black Order related comics (there aren’t a lot of complete lists of their appearances out there for me to refer to sadly but I’ve read most of the major ones I believe) but all I really want is for them to finally and actually be able to move on from Thanos. Especially with Corvus because (prior to Star #5 which I’ll expand on in a sec) it makes him look fucking stupid to have him default to “we chase the infinity stones because that’s what we do” after having them talk in previous comics about about how they want to be different and work for themselves, and Black Swan is like “chasing the stones has only ever made us miserable, whymst are we doing this???” and have her bring up valid points about how they don’t need to and Corvus is still just like “nope, nope we gotta.” and doesn’t even explain why. And now apparently that ‘why’ is because they expect Thanos to return? Or at least Maw does? I choose to believe that Corvus wanted the reality stone because it could give them some protection from a possible return of Thanos and allow them to stay together and do as they please like they want. To “forge their own reality” as Corvus said in the Death Sentence novel ironically, that would at the very least be a reason to continue infinity stone hunting that I’d be on board with.

I dunno, lol perhaps my lack of the full scope with missing a few things from sporadic comics and just my own personal views and tastes regarding the characters clash a lot with how the canon wants to portray them and at the end of the day that just is what it is lol. I didn’t intend this to get so long and.. rambly, the subject of Thanos in general gets me on a soap box and I never know how to get off aah. But yeah I hope that made some semblance of sense? The main gist of the story was really that sentence about loving Proxima and hating Thanos so I just naturally want her nowhere near him; and it was actually that affiliation that put me off of The Order for so long before I finally saw the light and realized they’re all vastly more interesting characters than he is LMAO. But I’m gonna stop because this just hit it’s 3rd page in my google docs and I’m starting to get embarrassed wheezes :’D

#Ask Matsu #[ I don't even know what to tag this lmao #I've been refreshing on comics so if I don't have all my facts straight and am just making myself look dumb then whoops i guess lol #i just don't like thanos man..#like at all i hate him so much he embodies the worst of shitty villain writing to me #and it sometimes sadly bleeds into the order who don't deserve it #I guess that may be why I prefer their mcu versions so much more because they're more blank slates i can do as i please with #because the marvel comic universe is so convoluted at this point it's honestly exhausting trying to even think about keeping facts straight #proxissima

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