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#i guess it's only been like a couple months ish since i last posted a fic so it hasnt even been that long but

tcookies777 · 1 year

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I just want to chime in as a neutral reader! This is mainly in regards to that ask that was recently posted on your tumblr:

All those fics you posted are one-shots. There are so few long-term good written KakaSaku fics with a lot of sex, and let's be real all the "classic fics" only have 1-2 sex scenes and are more story-focused. I think the KakaSaku fans have been dying for an actual long-term good story (which TAOL totally is if you look at it from the slow-build/story side) that have an equal balance of plot and porn. Or maybe that's just my projection but I'm sure some KakaSaku fans feel the same way.

When TAOL came out I was blown away because it was completely different from all the other KakaSaku fics with how well and intricate you planned things, so I had faith in your direction.

I think some went into your story expecting this to be more porn than plot (esp with the teacher/student trope, tags) hence the constant criticism of "nothing happens." But I don't think it's right for them to take out their anger on you and it is not your responsibility to fill that void at all. Your story is your story and you shouldn't write to please anyone but yourself.

I know this is a slow-burn/slow build, but you wrote on tumblr that this story might be 80 chapters, so we're currently 40 chapters in (so technically halfway in the story if that 80-total chapter count is still valid) and there's only been like 2-3 kisses and a couple of "lime" scenes. Maybe all the good stuff happens in the last half of the story, I don't know, but feel free to clarify. I'm guessing since Act 1 is like 40 chapters maybe the rest of the acts will be 40 chapters each for 120-ish total chapters? So yes 40/120 might seem like nothing to you because there are still 80 chapters left where you can include sex scenes every chapter if you so want, but for us readers who have to wait for each chapter every 2 weeks (and now another 4-month break), it's a LONG wait. So I totally understand why readers are antsy (not complaining about the update time, a chapter every 2-3 weeks is great and miles better than fics who only update like 1-2 times a month).

I've been with this story since the beginning, but I've come to terms with the fact that we're probably not getting sex scenes til like chapter 60 or something with the way this slow build is going. And that's fine, you did emphasized that this was a slow burn so I've tuned my expectations for it because I do enjoy the plot-side of the story and find it interesting and unique. But I will admit that this is probably the longest, longest slow-build fic I've read thus far. Even other smut stories that are slow-burn with 100+ chapters have all managed to introduce sex scenes before the 40-chapter mark, but I guess it's just a difference of how you outlined your story.

I will be honest and say that I did expect more from chapter 40 just because it was Act 1's finale, but you have your reasons and we as readers have to respect it. I'm just glad I don't primarily read this fic solely for the smut because I would probably be just another one of those disgruntled readers.

See you again in April 2023!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm being such a tech-illiterate idiot right now, my stupid ass was confused for a moment why this Ask was formatted weird when I realized it's a submit 😭 Uhh I'm hoping I'm doing this right?

Anyway, yes, a reader or 2 asked for the exact chapter count. However, I explained to them that the chapter count is volatile and not set in stone because of spontaneous side chapters thrown in, or I realize a chapter is too long and I have to break it into 2 chapters. With these reasons, I told them that 80 is a very loose estimate.

A few months later, another reader (or possibly the same reader) asked me again about what the chapter count is. I told them:

So yes, your calculations are very plausible! It's why I don't specify on AO3 the exact chapter count for TAOL because I myself am not sure of exactly how many chapters there will be. And I don't want to keep telling readers "oops, added more to the chapter count again!" over and over again because I think that would annoy them.

Unfortunately, you're partially right that many readers started TAOL with the expectation of porn balanced with plot, but other readers have clearly expressed to me from the get go that they only desire porn. And when people keep messaging me demanding over and over that I hurry up and give them porn because they could hardly care about the plot, it makes me cranky.

I recently had a new reader check out TAOL and they only read the first paragraph of Chapter 1 before skipping alllll the way to Chapter 38. They then commented "jesus fucking christ, 38 chapters and they still haven't fucked yet?! so fucking slow"

I just deleted that comment since there's no point in explaining the slowburn to them when they clearly want to read just porn.

So all those complaints that there hasn't been sex YET add onto all those messages demanding that I "just write porn and forget about the fucking plot". It's not fun to get both of them together, and over and over again.

If I wanted the story to just mainly be about a teacher fucking his student, I would've just done a one-shot. I wouldn't be the first to do that though.

As an aside, some slowburns I have read have been 1-2 MILLION words long with the couple only kissing after the 1 million word mark. As you can all see, I'm not sadistic enough to make you all read 1 million words before seeing Kakashi and Sakura kiss (for technically their 3rd time). I think TAOL is the longest/slowest slowburn KakaSaku fic, but it's definitely not the slowest/longest fic overall in the world of fanfiction! I actually once saw a reader brag about their 14 million word WIP... Yes, 14 MILLION word slowburn!

You bet I did not read that fic.

Anyway, I appreciate your understanding and patience.

I also appreciate that you respect my writing choices, regardless if you disagree or agree with them. I'm so used to people disagreeing with my writing choices and bashing me for them that seeing you say you still respect it and my reasons had me do a huge double-take.

Hope you have a happy and warm holiday season and see you next year!

#cookie answers #taol #the anatomy of love

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warchiefeny · 1 year

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I was gonna write up a thread on twitter about how my semi-break from social media was going, but I realized I had a lot more on my mind and I... haven’t done a proper blog post in years so why not. Content warning I guess for mental health/abuse talk.

Since I haven’t mentioned it here, for the last month or two I’ve been on a break from checking my timeline on social media. I can’t afford to not post artwork because I still make a good chunk of money from commissions, but it didn’t need to be a full cut off anyway. Honestly it felt great, and despite breaking it a little and reblogging here and there atm, I think I’m gonna continue for the most part. Maybe it was bad timing with twitter exploding, but I really needed to retreat into myself and engage with content on my own terms. You don’t always realize how much of your day is sucked up by social media, really. The only thing that kinda sucked was missing out on dank memes or cool content from friends, mutuals, and other cool people. The reason why I wanted to write a blog here and not on twitter is because I realized how so much of the things I realized about myself weren’t just about social media, but just my life in general. And also character limits. Definitely character limits. This isn’t my first time recognizing or noticing it, but dealing with commissions all the time and making a portfolio appealing for other jobs, I realized how much I lost myself in the process. And while seeing floods of really cool and good art is great, sometimes I would forget what really made me myself. Or what I even wanted out of anything. You draw so much for other people that you have to step back and ask if you’re making the right decisions or if you’re just doing what you think is profitable, and if it’s only a job then why does it matter what you do? What do you care to do when it’s just you? And to that end, who was I being right now in my own life? I felt like I lost myself in a lot of ways, like I wasn’t free to be who I was anymore. And this isn’t related to art, but when you have a particular belief system or way of doing things it tends to colour the rest of your actions in life. One catalyst to all this was when last summer I learned how to tell people to fuck off again and stopped caring so much about how likeable I had come off to people. In my 20s I had over corrected the dickish behaviour from my teens at the expense of my own personal boundaries and I had just finally snapped over it. It wasn’t that I wanted everyone to love me but I cared more about how other people felt than how I felt. It was this fucked up idea that I had to take everything on the chin or else I was irrational or selfish. I realized a lot of this came from the abuse I got from how I was raised, and it wasn’t until this year actually that I realized that I even had been abused because all the adults around me growing up were apart of the same cult. The amount of relief I felt over taking back my boundaries and not caring if people got mad was cathartic. But that’s not it entirely either, and frankly I’m tired of talking or thinking about that part of my life anymore. For the last couple of years I just felt like I stopped feeling safe to be myself. I’d never been one to think that accolades give you more than a fleeting sense of accomplishment, but there was some small part of me that felt like I needed certain things so I wouldn’t feel so embarrassed. Which is also kind of crazy, because when I had no money, no job, no license, no big-ish follower count, less physical strength, less stable mental health, etc... there were people who loved to be around me and wanted to hear what I had to say. People who wanted to seek me out and thought of me highly enough to admire me, and I didn’t have to hide or change anything about how I was presenting myself. And I wasn’t perfect about that stuff back then either. I still cared about how I came off, and I had hang ups, but I was certainly a little more free than I had been in the last couple of years toward the people closest to me. But there’s this funny thing that happens, at least for me, when you aren’t concerned about how you look or what you have or don’t have. When you’re just talking to someone and they catch you off guard that you’re one of their favourite people to talk to. Or when you’re just vibing and being yourself and they say how good of a person you are when you least expect them to say anything regarding it at all. It’s not something you put effort into or predict, it’s just something that sort of happens. When you put a wall up in order to protect yourself or say you aren’t worthy of something for whatever arbitrary reason, you end up making it impossible for people to actually give you love or affection. It turns into unintentionally pushing people away, even if you don’t want that. You think you’re being more responsible or a better person, but you’re not. In trying to respond perfectly, you become imperfect instead and just make a mess of things. And when you are lucky to get attention, it often just feels so hollow because everything feels fake or superficial when you give yourself standards that are unnecessary or impossible to clear for yourself. And the more you think you aren’t worthy of something, the less likely you are to do things that are good for you and create meaningful rewards. Ordinarily I would keep this post behind a private twitter account, but while I have no interest in oversharing my personal life to strangers, I guess take this is my attempt to be a little more like myself than I have been. Over the last two weeks I’ve had a lot to think and digest, and I’m just trying to let myself be me.

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typewriter83 · 16 days

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Girl?? We wanted a chapter, not a whole banquet! Hehehe jokes apart, I just finished (and I wasn't the only one who finished today cof cof) reading the chapter and I have to say man, have to say so many things.

First, you said this chapter would be just 🌶️.5, and I know it might be because of my virgin ass, but the chapter was a pretty 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️ to me. And as much as it makes me happy, that makes me embarrased now bc I'm feeling like a little kid that searched for two people kissing on google and he thought it was porn😂😂 how do people think that what happened in this chapter was just 🌶️.5? Felt like I was on a brothel. Anyways.

So, I never thought they would start to have a thing this feast, and I'm loving it, because even if it's fast, doesn't feel forced at all. You write the guilt and their feelings for each other in such a lovely way. Like: he doesn't wanna stay in the same room with her but is already seeing red when she talks with another boy, doesn't wanna give in to her desires but can't help to feel his own when he goes to her house and see his girl in his shirt. With his last name written on it like he owns the girl who is wearing.

I'm happy they're being a thing and now he's willing to be at her side, see her more often. And I really hope their little secret goes smooth because I'm feeling like everything is risky at this story. Idk man, just Lil tomtom boy is getting his brother's tense feeling, maria sensing the akwardness... Feels risky. And jesse gave off a pretty observer person vibe in his first scene in Maria's house. Like he's always watching everything and everyone. Also, her house is above the clinic. I mean... Anways, I hope I'm just being paranoic. Bye.

I’ve wanted to give this ask/comment/review a proper reply, so it’s taken a couple days - and I may also want to print this and stick it to my fridge 😘

Bless you, Nonnie, you’re so sweet and adorable - I think my definition of spice might differ from others, maybe I’ve just read a lot (too much?) and think a 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️ rating is well beyond the limits of my skill set - I’ve been writing since I was 15/16 and this past year is the first time in all those years I’ve posted anything that even remotely resembles 🌶️ writing. Maybe I just don’t have the confidence in my writing to label it what y’all see it as - a brothel, Nonnie, you need a time out 😉

Did it seem fast? Six-ish months? Yeah - compared to other stories where they’ve known each other for years, and then the build up; here they met in December and Joel came back in June after being gone several months. I guess there difference is that there was only this, never any other platonic relationship - even though Joel pushed it away and pushed her away for all those months.

So, you’re starting to see just how many people might be looking their way, right? Tommy and Maria are very protective of Ellie. Dina is Ellie’s new bestie, and where Dina goes, Jesse isn’t far behind, and he’s not too fond of Ellie because she has Tommy’s attention. Kenny is charmed by her and won’t be too thrilled when her attention is pulled away by Joel. It’s a mess, too many nosy people wandering around this small town.

I wonder who else might be watching… 🧐🧐

Mama Bear is taking a short break - probably until next Wednesday, then get back to working on chapter 7 and D&C part 9 - we’ll see who gets attention first!

🫶🏻

#writing #the last of us #tlou #creative writing #mama bear speaks #fanfiction #ask away!#joellie #ellie x joel #joel x ellie

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darlingpwease · 10 months

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Yes, Teacher??? /t /why must u bully me 😔😔

Oh shit– I guess they really don't like swan lake then lmao Thank you for bringing it here to tumblr,, it wasn't only cool to learn but also just really interesting too!! :DD /gen

Yes yes,, thank you for teaching information, Dove <33 I'm looking forward for the next one!! /ht /hgen /I do think it's cool when u do that tho

Ahhh okok,,, then make sure to rest well. I can only imagine how nerve-wracking that must've been. I can't really do anything, but I really do hope that everything's good now and that you and others are feeling better now.

Yeah,, where I am tensions are rising with both the government and it's citizens, it's like there's no middle ground abdhdks. I'm just hoping that it will stay somewhat calm until I'm able to leave lmao,, it just seems like there's not much rest for anyone recently ha ha... I can't imagine life like that tho, it sounds exhausting.. (not meant in any offense) however, I can definitely relate to some things losing their points of "joking" tho,,,, its... it's not enjoyable <//33

Uwwhhh thank you,, unfortunately I'm still gonna fluctuate like this for the next 2-ish weeks I'm so sorry I'm so sorry <//3333 I'll also reply to the other post when I can I promise aaahdbskd

-panna cotta

hehe, good pamna, good~ mwah♡ as they said in one highly social advertisement about how relatives bully children with their 'attempts' to help them, "bullying begins at home"<3333 /t /j /nsrs

you know, but not even everyone in the country knows about such a feature with the term "swan ballet", especially among young people, since they simply did not find that time and none of the adults told them how this ballet was played immediately after the coup - also, it is associated with the death of the general secretary of the CPSU, so as on the day of his mourning, only this ballet was played on TV. I do not know if you have watched it, but it is a very calm and even quiet, serene ballet, completely unrelated to politics, but now it is quite politicized due to the connection with the August coup and the "purge". you look at him,,, what a charmer<33333 /affectionate

yaau~ then next time I'll tell you something more exciting, considering that events are getting more and more tense and bad ☆〜（ゝ。∂）/ht /ht /pos

I mean, unlike almost all the people in my environment, I don't even take pills yet, so I'm still very fine<333 after all, I can still be joyful even without antidepressants, so!!! a very sanguine person!!! hold my malewives tight!!!

the same, babyboo<///3 I only hope that something will happen when the elite dies out, because I don't see any other ways to solve the current socio-political problems. at least let them not close all borders and there will be at least some way to leave, and then everything will be fine. sometimes they say that it will only get worse in other countries, but I will be glad if I don't participate in an absolutely serious dialogue in the style of "do you think there will be a nuclear war or not?" for at least a couple of months. however!!! don't take it as a complaint, I don't think my situation is worse or better than yours;;; maybe the world is just changing and we need to follow if we are not at the helm, but sometimes I would like to stop following and just stop sjdhhd /ht I agree; especially when it becomes difficult to understand if it's just a joke or if it's serious, because laughter is the only thing that,,,, remains</3

everything is fine!!! fortunately, next week I have the last final and I'm all through August<3333 of course I have a little more study here and there for additional education, but these are small things~ well well well...🤨🤨🤨 /t /j /pos

#[📂] — voice from under the bed #❖.my jewelry #✮.panna cotta <3

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inherstars · 1 year

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More about AI and (this time) writing

I've got a few more days left on my Midjourney subscription, and while I'll probably re-up eventually, I don't think I'll do so right away.

I've been using the hell out of ChatGPT, however, and that's what this is about. Also some stuff about hormones and peri-menopause, cause that's how I roll.

So! In the interest of full disclosure without also revealing too much about myself, I have a very specific fetish. Not gonna get into it on this account, so don't ask.

Simultaneously, being a woman of a certain age, my libido has been absolutely non-existent for the better part of the past 4+ years. Like, I have gone almost an entire year with only one instance of the needle wobbling even a little.

As if that wasn't depressing enough, it turns out my desire to write is also directly tied to my libido. Which isn't to say that I write a lot of porn (I don't), but even regular old mainstream writing has been dead in the water for a long time. Soul-suckingly long. It isn't that I couldn't write, it's that I just didn't see the point. It's been horrible.

Last fall I looked into this pill for pre-menopausal / menopausal women called Winona, which was supposed to help with libido. I talked to a doctor about it, who said I was too young for it, but that she recommended a supplement called DHEA.

I tried DHEA for about 2-ish months before calling it quits. I was miserable -- gained like 5 ls of water weight that would not go away, my face was broken out, I was getting my period like every other week, and there still wasn't any improvement in my libido. I stopped taking it, lost the weight, and my face cleared up.

When my cycle went back to "normal" it was just 21 days long, but -- weirdly enough -- my libido had come back a bit. Certainly not to the level it used to be, and it seems to peak immediately after my period ends and then slowly decrease as time goes on, but I don't fucking care, because I'll fucking take it.

I have been trying to do as much writing as I can while I can. I wanted that to be more "mainstream" writing that I could actually share with more than, like, five other sexual deviants, but I'm sort of at the point where I just don't care. Writing is writing. I'll sort the rest out later.

So for the first time in like 3 years I posted a couple stories over on my fetish-specific tumblr, and had a good deal of fun writing them.

One of the tools I have been using hardcore since the needle started to move again is ChatGPT.

The thing about ChatGPT is that you can't use it to write sexy sex, but as someone whose fetish is not even remotely sexual, I can kind of abuse the hell out of it to my heart's content. Like, this thing is AMAZING. I can be like, "Let's roleplay a scene, you play X character and I'll play X character, readyyyyy GO," and it's good. It's really, surprisingly, satisfyingly good. For the first time I have been able to scratch some fantasy itches that I never could because there was nobody else with my stupid, specific interests that could write something for me. But once you learn how to massage the prompts a little, this thing can.

With all that said, I have gotten into some deep conversations with it, and today I asked it if it could help me with some (mainstream) stories I've been working on.

Full disclosure: I will never use AI to do my duty as a creative writer. My writing is my own, and I am super serious about it, even when I'm writing stupid not-really-porn-but-kind-of-porn-I-guess.

However, what the AI is good for is acting as a sounding board.

I wrote up detailed descriptions of two stories: one a fairy tale that I've been sitting on for probably 20 years, unable to come up with a satisfying conclusion, and one a sci-fi story that I already have fully plotted out, but there was a "gap" in the middle that I needed some help sorting out.

As a writer, TALKING about writing is sometimes the biggest help in getting past plot holes or other stumbling blocks. Not even talking to other people, sometimes just sitting down and writing about what's tripping you up, as if you were putting it into a letter to someone, will open up pathways you didn't realize were there. Highly recommended.

For the fairy tale, the AI suggested several different ways the story could end, none of which actually worked or sat well with me (one was too convenient and trite, the other one would have essentially required doubling the length of the story (and still wasn't very good). BUT it did get me thinking. And after chewing on it a bit, I think I actually do have a solid idea of how to finally end this fucking thing.

For the sci-fi story, it made some pretty solid suggestions as to the missing plot points (they're not exactly plot points, more like plot touchstones?), and after cherry-picking the ones I like I was even able to sketch out some notes for myself as to why and how they woudl work.

Overall, I'm super pleased. The thing is, when my libido tanks again (which I know it will -- if not in the immediate future, then, let's be honest, eventually), I need to keep writing. I NEED to. I don't want this to be the end of the thing that has gotten me through some of the hardest parts of my life, and which is honestly a huge part of my personal identity.

Like I said, it's not that I CAN'T write, it's that when I get to that point I don't see the point. The interest isn't there, the passion isn't there. And as soon as I'm done being horny, I want to have a good framework on which to keep writing. My hope is that if I'm disciplined enough I can keep going, and eventually separate my libido from my interest in writing, so I don't need one to do the other.

But in the meantime, no lie, I definitely need to figure out a really juice AI roleplay that involves a young Lance Henriksen...

#personal #writing #ai #perimenopause

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ssahoodrathotchner · 3 years

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Pictures of You

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Reader

Summary: you lose your memories of the last few years, including the ones of your relationship with Aaron. The rest of the team thinks it’s hilarious.

Word Count: 5.3k

Warnings: memory loss, swearing, some angst, hospital, talk of injuries, team shenanigans and fluff

A/N: okay this was a lot of fun to write bc soft!Hotch rights !! also really wanted to make the team play a larger role in a fic so here we go :)

Masterlist

---

You wake in a hospital bed, Morgan by your side, and a godawful pounding in your cloudy head. With a groan, you try to raise one of your hands to cover your eyes as Morgan’s head shoots up to stare at you with a relieved smile.

“Hey,” he says, catching your hand before you can lift it higher, “Don’t do that. You had a nasty fall, Princess.”

Satisfied that you won’t make any more moves towards your head, he sits back down at your side.

“Should I even ask how you’re doing or…” he trails off when you glare at him. “I’ll go let the team know you’re okay. Boss Man will be happy to hear you finally woke up,” and with that, Morgan is up and out of the room before you can even open your mouth because what.

Shifting around in the bed, you try to gauge just how injured you are, but the soreness in literally your entire body coupled with the haziness in your mind from the constant pain makes you conclude that you’ll leave it to the doctors to tell you what’s wrong. Sighing, you gently tilt your head to the side and observe the various beeping monitors.

The door opens and as you turn to see who it is, your mouth opens in disbelief. There’s no way. There’s absolutely no fucking way. This is fake. This is a dream. Your stomach simultaneously drops and fills with dread. How is this possible?

“You’re dead. You’re dead. We buried you,” you say in a rush, as none other than Emily fucking Prentiss stops by the side of your bed, looking at you confusedly. “Does this mean I’m dead? Are you a ghost?” you wonder out loud, and Emily looks behind her as the rest of the team, except Hotch, file in behind her, seemingly fine with her sudden appearance.

“How are you here, why are you here, what happened? You died. You’re supposed to be dead which means I’m probably dead,” you continue to ramble, frantically looking from at each member of your team and then back to Emily.

“What? Y/N, you aren’t dead. Just like I’m not dead,” she says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“But you are,” you say shakily, chest tightening as your breaths become shorter and shorter.

“Y/N…” she says slowly, softly, “I faked my death four years ago.”

And with that, your ears rush and your mind goes blank. No no no no no no we buried her six months ago, she’s dead. You don’t notice the rest of the team trading glances around you as the world you thought you knew shatters and reforms in your mind.

“No,” you croak, throat suddenly constricting, but Emily only looks at you worriedly, Reid slipping out the door behind her.

“Y/N, can you take some deep breaths for me?” and your head turns to find JJ at your other side, hand on your shoulder. “Let’s breathe, you can do this,” she says, taking exaggerated breaths to demonstrate, smiling gently as you cooperate.

Reid enters, now, followed by a doctor who, immediately upon reaching your side, proceeds to shine a light in your eyes and asks you to complete all sorts of short tests while the team looks on.

“Now, Agent Y/L/N, Dr. Reid informed me that you seem to be having some memory issues, which is normal,” the doctor assures you, “especially with the head trauma you endured. So, tell me what you can remember and we’ll go from there,” he says with a helpful smile.

Fuck. What do you remember?

“Well…” you trail off, trying to pin-point an exact moment. “I remember Emily—Agent Prentiss’—funeral because it was six months ago, but apparently—” your eyes slide over the rest of the team, “—apparently, it was more like four years ago,” you finish slowly.

“And that’s as recent as you can remember?” the doctor pushes. You nod your head. “Well, Agent Y/L/N, it seems that you have post-traumatic retrograde amnesia, which isn’t a surprise, as I said before. My guess is that it’s temporary, and that you’ll recover your memories in time.”

“Any ideas how long?” Emily speaks up, carefully looking at your face.

“With cases such as these, there isn’t a definite timeline or standard procedure for memory recovery,” the doctor explains. “It may help to look at photos or videos and tell stories to try and help Agent Y/L/N heal quicker, but the brain is tricky,” and with that wonderful statement, the doctor turns and exits, leaving you and your team staring at each other, processing the fact that you don’t know when you’ll get your memories of the last four freakin’ years back.

“So, from the research I’ve done, it seems that—” Reid is cut off by the door flying open and Aaron Hotchner, your Unit Chief, bursting into the room with a concerned look on his face wearing a hoodie and jeans.

Morgan tries to grab his shoulder, but Hotch shakes him off as he walks right up to your bedside and grabs your hand. Holy shit. Heat rises to your cheeks instantly and you think your heart might have actually skipped a beat but, you can’t help it, you’ve had a crush on Hotch for ages and he’s holding your hand. But you don’t remember a time when Hotch was so forward in showing concern for one of his agents.

“I’m so sorry I wasn’t here when you woke up, Sweetheart—” you’re pretty sure you’re dreaming because Hotch has never called you Sweetheart. Ever. You’ve also never seen him in anything other than a suit. “—Jessica called because Jack has the flu and then he wanted to talk to me and—”

“Hotch!” Morgan all but yells, interrupting Hotch’s update on Jack, as you stare pointedly at his hand, still holding yours, trying to control the redness growing steadily stronger in your cheeks. What the hell.

“Hotch,” Morgan states, softer this time, “The last thing Y/L/N remembers clearly is Prentiss’ funeral.”

You look up with a weak approximation of a smile, and watch Hotch’s face shift as he comprehends what Morgan said.

“That was years ago,” he says slowly, face hardening into a look you’ve seen too many times when he tries to separate himself from the information he’s received.

Looking down at you, you can’t tell what he’s thinking, so you divert your eyes to his hand in yours. Once he notices this, he gently lets go and you know it’s silly, but you almost reach out for it again. Who knows the next time Hotch will want to hold your hand?

“So you don’t…” he doesn’t finish his question, which leaves you even more confused. Don’t what…?

“Umm. If it’s happened in the last four-ish years, then umm… Then I probably don’t remember it,” you say quietly, apologetically. “Sir,” you add on quickly, not wanting to forgo formalities even if your memory isn’t what it’s supposed to be.

However, instead of nodding, like you thought he would, Aaron Hotchner looks sad which confuses you even more.

“Aaron,” Rossi begins slowly, “the doctor said that talking about what’s happened since then may help Y/N’s memory come back.” Hotch looks up, almost relieved. “So why don’t you tell her something that’s happened since Prentiss’ funeral.”

And with that, Hotch takes a breath before reaching across your body to your other hand and holding it up. Not quite sure what’s happening, you allow him to hold your left hand up in your line of vision and that’s when you notice a fucking wedding ring. On your hand. Which Hotch is holding.

“I’m married?” you screech, looking at the team, who are now all trying not to laugh for some reason. “Who am I married to? Holy shit, what?” you continue looking around. Morgan and Prentiss look like they’ll break into outright laughter any minute. What’s going on?

Looking helplessly to Hotch, who is suspiciously quiet, you don’t have to repeat your question before he is carefully letting go of your left hand to hold his own up next to it and since when did Hotch wear a wedding band? Until you notice the striking similarities between the ring on your hand, and the one on your boss. What the actual fuck.

“We’re married?” you say, whipping your head to the side—ouch—to stare at Hotch, who is looking a little more amused than worried. “What? When? I just…” you can’t even finish your train of thought because your head is spinning so fast.

“Is it really that much of a surprise, Princess?” Derek chimes in. “I mean, you guys have been in love with each other forever,” and with that, he and Prentiss dissolve into a fit of laughter, which they try to smother, but you’re too busy taking in this very new and very interesting life development.

At some point in the last couple years, you married Hotch. Which means he knows you like him. And he likes you. You dated Hotch and now you’re fucking married. And you can’t remember any of it.

“…I don’t remember it…” you say sadly, softly and the laughter ceases.

Running a hand through his hair, Hotch takes a step back and shrugs, a small, reassuring smile on his face.

“We’ll figure it out, Sweetheart—” your stomach erupts into butterflies, “—we always do.”

With a sigh, you sink back into the pillows on your bed and stare at the ceiling, head throbbing worse than before thanks to all the new information.

“I just…” you pause to think about your current dilemma. “I just don’t know where to start with all this…Getting my memory back,” you look to Hotch and then the team, unsure of what to do.

“Well, the doctor did say that photos and videos might help. I’d be willing to recount every conversation we’ve had since Emily’s funeral, if you want, including the ones that you weren’t a part of, but were about you or a case,” Reid offers with a grin, and your heart melts.

Slowly shaking your head, you answer, “Thanks but maybe later, Spence. I’m still stuck on the whole I’m-married-to-my-boss thing right now.”

“Trust me Princess,” Derek laughs “I’m pretty sure all of us could tell you about how everything went down like a damn movie.”

“Yeah…” JJ continues with a fond shake of her head, “You guys weren’t very subtle about it.”

Sneaking a look out of the corner of your eye, you catch Hotch blushing and staring down at his shoes before he also sneaks a look at you, meeting your eyes.

“See?” Derek’s voice breaks your gaze. “This is exactly what I was talking about. You guys weren’t subtle and still aren’t,” rolling his eyes, he laughs a little and you can’t help but smile.

“At least they’re married this time around,” Rossi supplies. “No more ‘secret’ glances and yearning,” he says with such contempt you can’t help but laugh as Hotch—Aaron? — lets out a small chuckle of his own.

“Now I just need to remember how we got here,” you say, feeling a little more at ease. Slowly, you reach for Hotch’s left hand, studying the ring the matches your own. “Remember us,” you continue, just to him, and the smile that overtakes his face is the best thing you’ve seen since waking up.

“You weren’t wrong, Morgan,” comes Emily’s voice from the end of your bed. “This is just like a movie. Ugh. But don’t worry, Y/N, we’ll help you sort this out.”

“And I know just the woman for the job,” Morgan adds with a mischievous smirk which immediately makes you wonder about whatever it is he has planned.

“Now as much as I’d love to watch the two lovebirds gaze into each other’s eyes, I actually have plans,” Rossi states, looking down at his watch. “So, I’ll be back tomorrow. Have a good night, Y/N,” he says before waving to the rest of the team and leaving.

The rest of the team makes their own excuses to leave, and you can’t help but feel like Morgan and Prentiss have concocted some sort of scheme to “help” you get your memories back.

Running a hand over your face, you sigh. What now? The sound of someone clearing their throat makes you look up and realize that Hotch hadn’t left with the others, but was instead standing near the foot of your bed, looking somewhat anxious.

“I ummm… I was planning on spending the night here to make sure you were okay, but umm…” he trails off, unsure.

“But since I have no memory of us being together you think it’s weird…?” you ask gently.

“Yeah,” he answers in a sigh. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable by being here, especially because I know how frustrating and confusing this must be for you…”

“Hotch,” you start, but he can’t hide his wince when you call him that. “Aaron,” you try again. “Yes, this is incredibly confusing and frustrating because Emily should be dead and I didn’t think you had feelings for me at all,” you pause and see him smile, just a bit, “But I’d really like it if you stayed here. With me. Because—” you take a deep breath. “—Because you make me feel safe, Aaron, and I need that right now,” you say gently, not quite sure where the confidence came from, but Aaron’s eyes soften and his smile grows bigger as his shoulders drop in relief. Worth it.

“Then I’ll stay,” he says, and you can’t help the heat that once again rises in your cheeks as he continues to look at you.

You guys are married, dammit. Pull it together.

Averting your gaze, you turn your attention to getting more comfortable in your bed and decide to fuss with the placement of your pillows because damn was your back starting to hurt, but Aaron beats you to it. Within ten seconds of arranging the pillows behind you, he has them perfect.

“How…?” you start to question, but he just raises his eyebrows. “Right. Married,” you say with a shake of your head.

Aaron finally sits in the chair next to your bed and reaches, almost absentmindedly, for your hand before catching himself and stilling. You can see the fight in his mind—he wants to comfort you and himself, but with your memory, he doesn’t quite know where your boundaries are. Taking pity on him, you grab his hand yourself, weaving your fingers together so he knows it was on purpose. Okay so you really just wanted to hold his hand again, but you’re married! You’re allowed. He takes a deep breath and leans back in the chair, turning his head to really look at you.

“How’s your head?” he asks, brow furrowed in what you’ve come to understand is genuine concern.

You pause and consider for a moment.

“Not terrible, but not great,” you say slowly. “It’s like there’s a fog in my mind that I can’t see through. I know I’m missing stuff, but I just don’t know what.”

Aaron gently squeezes your hand, but doesn’t speak yet.

“I want to know what brought Emily back, how we happened, what it was that gave me this fucking injury, I just…” with an exasperated huff, you collect yourself. “I just want to know.”

“Well, Emily should be the one to tell you her part of the story, and as for us,” he gives you a smile “it’s a longer answer, at least for me, so that will have to wait—Sorry, Sweetheart,” he says when you pout. “However, I can tell you about what landed you in the hospital. How does that sound?”

“It’s a start,” you tease, and yes Aaron smiles wider and rolls his eyes.

“We were chasing an unsub, and Garcia had tracked him to a warehouse not too far from Quantico. We went there and—” his voice wavers. You squeeze his hand. “—and the unsub had set explosives around the perimeter of the building. I guess you got too close to him when trying to talk him down and he triggered the whole set.” Aaron sighs, and his eyes are glazed over like he’s reliving this—which he probably is—and there’s nothing you can really do besides let him take his time.

“You weren’t right by any of them, but you were thrown back and had hit the ground before I could even yell at you to stop—not that you would have listened,” he says pointedly with a watery laugh. “You just laid there, Morgan and I carried you over to the medics as soon as the dust settled and they took you away as we cleared the rest of the scene.”

“And the unsub?”

“He didn’t survive the explosion. As soon as we figured that out, we left it to the local PD and crime scene techs.” He looks at you softly. “We came straight here after that.”

“How long was I out before today,” you ask lightly, curiously.

“Three days. Dave had to convince me to go home and shower on the second day.” He looks down before sneaking a sideways glance at you.

“Well I’m glad he did,” you tease, scrunching your nose.

“And I’m glad you’re awake, Sweetheart,” he replies, squeezing your hand.

You laugh and look away before mumbling, “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that.”

“Get used to what?” he waits a second. “Sweetheart?” Motherfucker. He knows what he’s doing.

“That! I woke up convinced you didn’t have feelings for me at all,” you say with a glare, “and now I know we’re married and you keep being so nice and understanding and calling me Sweetheart and I just don’t know how to deal with all of this!” you finish in a huff.

“I just feel bad that I can’t remember this, us” you add, gesturing between the two of you. “I’m trying and there’s just—” you make a frustrated noise and flop back to stare at the ceiling. “And my head still kind of hurts,” you add softly, almost pouting.

“Oh, Sweetheart,” Aaron whispers. He clears his throat before continuing. “You’ll get your memories back,” he leans forward to stroke some hair off your forehead. “And until then, you know the team and I will do what we can to catch you up and help you remember.”

You push your head further into his hand with a sigh. He runs his hand through your hair a few times before pulling back and you almost whine. You yawn instead. Settling down, you tug the blanket up higher across your chest and turn to face Aaron as he also gets comfortable. He turns on the small television in your room and at some point, you fall asleep holding his hand.

---

You wake to the sound of the door opening, followed by the unmistakable click-clack of heels worn by none other than Penelope Garcia.

“Rise and shine! Time to regain your memory, lovely Y/N,” she sings, coming to a stop by the side of your bed as you roll over with a yawn.

“Pen—” you groan. “Let me sleep. Please.”

“Oh no, my little profiler. Do you have your memory back?” You shake your head. “Then we need to work on that! And don’t you dare tell me no; my wonderful Derek Morgan and I were up all night making this for you,”

You raise your eyebrows.

“Sadly, not like that. But, we compiled a presentation-slash-video montage for you about what you’ve missed!”

That catches your attention.

“Wha--? How? Penelope where did the footage come from?” you ask, more awake now.

“Well, I may or may not have used security cam footage for a lot of it, but that’s neither here nor there, so, without further ado, I present to you: your life for the past four-ish years!” and with that, she somehow connects her tablet to the TV and you see a picture of the whole team; Penelope then produces a remote from the depths of her purse and then proceeds to the next slide.

Which is a photo of you. And Aaron. Standing by the coffee machine in the office and smiling at each other, clearly unaware that the moment was being documented. The image is embellished with what must be close to fifty moving, sparkly hearts, obviously done by Garcia.

“First thing’s first,” she starts with a flourish. “Your husband!” and as if on cue, Aaron walks into the room, cup of coffee in hand. Much to your surprise, Aaron just rounds your bed to sit in the same chair you assume he fell asleep in, watching the screen.

“What is happening,” you say softly to yourself, looking from Aaron to Garcia and back.

“The doctor said photos and videos might help restore your memory, so who better to put something together than Garcia?” Hotch answers dryly, a small smile flashing across his face. “The rest of the team should be here shortly,” he says directly to Garcia.

“Oh good. I always work better with an audience,” she replies as you continue to process just what the hell is happening since you woke up approximately five minutes ago.

Within a few minutes, your hospital room is overrun with the rest of the team. Sitting, standing, leaning wherever they can find the space to view Penelope’s presentation with you in the middle of it all.

“Don’t you people have jobs?” you grumble.

“C’mon, Princess. Who better to help you remember the last few years than us?” Derek says with a cheeky grin that makes you roll your eyes.

You turn your gaze to Aaron and find that he’s already looking at you in concern.

“If you really don’t want all of us here we can leave,” he says just loud enough for you to hear.

“I just…” you take a moment to try and collect your thoughts. “I guess I just don’t know how to feel about all of this, but you’re all here so— “

“So here we go!” Penelope cheerfully finishes your sentence before turning back to the screen. “As I was saying before, part one of Operation Get Y/N’s Memories Back is all about—drumroll please—our very own Unit Chief, a.k.a. Hotch, a.k.a. loving husband to our very own Agent Y/L/N.”

With a shake of your head, purposefully ignoring the way Derek and Emily are whooping and whistling, you settle in and gesture for Penelope to continue. God, let’s hope this works.

---

It doesn’t work.

Fuck.

Three almost four hours later and nothing has changed for you. However, it’s a lovely opportunity for some team bonding and creating new memories, but you’re still disappointed. It’s not for lack of trying, though. Penelope did a wonderful job of pulling together a presentation-slash-video montage of your life, complete with titles such as ‘Your lovely husband,’ ‘The Miraculous Life, Death, and Subsequent Resurrection of Emily Prentiss,’ and even ‘Badass BAU Babies,’ which was a collection of team photos and news clips of cases you guys had closed in the past few years.

The whole team had gotten a kick out of each section, especially the last one, as Penelope had spared no one in her quest to help your memory; ugly selfies sent in the BAU group chat, embarrassing footage of you tripping up (and down) the stairs to the bullpen—courtesy of the security cameras, Reid doing physics magic and narrowly missing Rossi’s coffee cup, it was all there. But nothing worked, there was no magical ah ha moment where everything came rushing back. If anything, it really was like watching a movie; it didn’t feel like you were the one is all of these clips and photos. Not even Reid’s commentary made you feel any closer than before to recovering your memories.

It wasn’t all bad, though. Penelope had a veritable stockpile of photos of you and Aaron, ranging from the office, to cases, to the occasional night out with the team. Your engagement announcement, wedding photos, freakin’ everything on the two of you and yet, nothing seemed to make a difference to your brain.

The photo on the screen was one of you and Aaron on a case. You were tucked under his arm, snowflakes visible in your hair and his as you look up and laugh at something he said while he just smiles gently down at you. Penelope had put hearts over both your eyes.

“Actual heart eyes! I had to! You guys are so cute!” she basically squealed when the photo came up.

“What did I tell you,” Rossi said teasingly, “Yearning.”

Prentiss and Morgan hadn’t stopped laughing for this entire segment, with JJ and Reid occasionally joining in if there was something exceptionally ridiculous Penelope had included, like fucking heart eyes.

A hand covering your own makes you realize you had spaced out, and you look down to see that it’s Aaron’s hand, wedding band catching the light.

“Anything, Sweetheart?” he asks in a low voice, carefully watching your face.

You shake your head. “It’s like it’s someone else’s life, but I know it’s mine; you’ve told me it’s mine, there’s photographic evidence that it’s mine!” you say in a huff. “It just doesn’t feel like it’s mine,” you whisper, voice breaking at the end. Tears gather in your eyes and you bite your lip to stop it from shaking as you desperately try and control your overwhelming emotions. You can hear the team in the background, strategizing new ways to help you, but Aaron’s face hovers in front of your own, drawing your attention.

“It’s okay,” he says lightly, stroking your cheek with his thumb.

“No, it’s not,” you insist as a few tears make their way down your face. “It’s not, Aaron. What if this is it? What if I just don’t get my memories back?”

Letting out a long sigh, Aaron raises your hand to his lips and kisses your palm before folding your hand into his.

“You will. I know you will,” he says with such conviction you might just believe him if it weren’t for the way he rapidly blinks to keep his own tears at bay.

“Yeah, Princess.” Morgan chimes in from somewhere across the room. “We’ll figure this out, you know we will.”

And with that, you see something click into place in Aaron’s eyes and suddenly, he’s looking at you in such a way that your heart picks up—thanks, heart monitor.

“Aaron…?” you ask cautiously.

“Princess,” he says it so simply, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. You only have time to raise an eyebrow at him before—

Oh.

Kissing Aaron Hotchner is something you could definitely get used to. His hand comes up to cradle your face as he gently moves his lips against yours. You sigh and can feel his smile against your mouth before he’s tugging your face closer, tilting your head just so and—

There.

It’s like opening a window to let in a breeze. Soft and sure, filling the space in a way that’s all-encompassing without being suffocating.

Like snowflakes falling and settling on his black jacket, like Aaron down on one knee sliding your engagement ring on your finger while you smile so much it feels like your face will break. It’s leaving cups of coffee on his desk during late nights in the office. It’s playing soccer with Jack as Aaron smiles and cheers both of you on. It’s being in bed late at night, falling asleep in the comfort provided by the man you love. Your wedding vows, promising to love him forever.

And you know.

With a gasp, you pull Aaron closer, kiss him deeper, harder, moving your lips more frantically against his. I remember I remember I remember and you think he gets it because he pulls back and looks at you with so much hope it almost breaks your heart.

“When I said I’d love you forever, Aaron Hotchner, I meant it.”

And his face breaks into the biggest smile you’ve ever seen as he laughs in disbelief before capturing your lips with his again, returning the urgency you had kissed him with just moments ago.

Someone clears their throat and you pull apart, smiles obvious on both your faces as you turn to the team who are looking somewhat confused.

“Would you mind enlightening us as to why you two are suddenly acting like teenagers?” Rossi asks, eyebrows raised.

“Well,” Aaron starts, grinning in your direction, “It would seem that— “

“Nuh uh. No way,” Derek interrupts him. “Are you seriously about to say that you kissed her and she magically remembered?”

You can’t help but laugh at his disbelief because what the hell and nod, unable to speak through the giddiness overtaking your body. You remember.

“Ohmygod! You guys!!” Penelope squeals before launching herself into your arms for a hug which she promptly pulls Aaron into as well; he doesn’t protest.

“What made you do that, Hotch?” Reid asks curiously once Penelope has let you and Aaron go. “Did you know it would work?”

“Princess,” Aaron says with a nod towards Morgan. “In Jack’s storybooks, a kiss always wakes the Princess so she and her prince can live happily ever after.”

Okay that’s adorable and you can’t help but aww with the rest of the team at Aaron’s confession.

“Happily ever after, huh?” you say, tugging on his hand. “Who knew you were such a sap, Hotchner?”

Rolling his eyes, Aaron just smiles. “Wasn’t it obvious from Garcia’s presentation? I’ve been in love with you forever, Sweetheart. And besides, it worked, didn’t it?” he says with a smug smile.

You pull him down for a short kiss before moving back just enough to murmur “My Prince Charming.”

“I can’t believe you guys,” you turn to see Morgan shaking his head. “A literal fuckin’ fairytale,” and then he’s laughing and the whole team, you and Aaron included, are laughing with him because yeah this is pretty surreal.

“I can’t believe you thought I was a ghost!” Emily says once the laughter has died down, her arms crossed in mock-anger.

“Can you blame me?” you retort. “The last thing I remember was burying you and suddenly you’re here? Nope. No way. Ghost. Only explanation.”

“I have to say, Y/L/N, I’m glad you’re back, if only to stop Aaron’s sad puppy-dog eyes every time you called him ‘Hotch,’” Rossi shakes his head. “I don’t know how much more yearning I could take.”

“Hey! Be nice,” JJ admonishes, swatting Rossi’s shoulder. “I think it’s sweet.”

“Yeah guys,” you echo. “Be nice! Don’t think I forgot you two,” you say, leveling Morgan and Prentiss with glares, “and all your laughter when I couldn’t remember that my husband and I were married!”

“Oh c’mon, Princess,” Morgan groans. “It was pretty funny. You were trying so hard not to look completely in love with your husband.”

“In my defense,” you start, “I didn’t know that you guys already knew how much I love Aaron, so excuse me for trying to hide my love,” you say with a sniff.

“Well, it was pretty obvious. Whenever you looked at him or he grabbed your hand, the heart monitor would register an increase in your heart rate by—” Reid starts to ramble but your laughter cuts him off.

“I get it, I get it,” you continue through your laughter. “I’m very in love with Aaron, even when I think it’s a secret, but as Penelope’s presentation so eloquently demonstrated, I’m not subtle and neither is he.”

Aaron leans over to kiss your cheek as the rest of the team continues into a conversation about Penelope’s presentation and how the hell she collected all those photos and videos in one day.

With the attention no longer on you—for now—you smile at Aaron, who smiles right back. He slumps back in his chair with a sigh, and you can’t help but pull him back closer to you.

“I love you,” you say kissing the back of his hand.

“I love you more, Sweetheart,” he replies softly.

Yeah, this is happily ever after.

1K notes · View notes

clairecrive · 3 years

Note

heyo! woman was so good- could you write a part 2 to it please? thank you so much!

"woman" - wolfstar x reader (part 2)

A/n: thank you so much to those who commented on part 1! I'm overwhelmed by the response it got and I'm so happy!

Warnings: mild angst, mostly fluff, Sirius is adorable, this is mostly about Sirius x y/n, but poly relationship none the less

Word count: 1.2k ish

Tags: @erinblack003, @girl22334, @blackpinkdolan, @seldomabsent, @andy-blur (let me know if you wanna be added or removed)

Part 1

HARRY POTTER MASTERLIST

Sometimes, y/n damned the day she said yes to those boys. Granted, it didn't happen often and it coincided unsurprisingly with every fight she had with them. Mostly Sirius to be fair. Remus hated arguing just as much as she did, only he did a better job in dealing with conflict.

If y/n had to be honest, it was hard for her and Sirius not to clash. No matter how much she loved the boy, more often than not they'd argue. Usually, it started like harmless banter, Sirius loved to get a rise out of her since Remus was always so collected, and y/n couldn't hold her tongue if her life depended on it. Hence, their dynamic.

Those kinds of interactions though were never taken seriously by either of them. Not that they would admit it out loud, but they enjoyed them.

However, despite how Remus always tried to mediate between them on serious matters, sometimes it wasn't enough and they would apply that same dynamic to fights stem from more serious motives. Like it happened yesterday.

Laying in her bed, with the deafening silence of her dorm as a soundtrack, y/n could admit that she took Sirius bait. She was aware of her boyfriend's past and how difficult it was for him to express his feelings. Hell, her past wasn't as traumatic and she had a hard time doing that too.

"Stupid," groaning at herself, she rolled around, unable to keep still for long.

Truth is, she gave in to that part of herself that was always second-guessing everything good in her life and let her speak. Yes, after months of dating she still couldn't believe that two of the most amazing human beings on this planet chose her and loved her, but she wasn't so insecure about their relationship and their commitment to her.

It was true that Sirius had a way of going about things that made him seem like a huge flirt but she knew in her heart that it was harmless. She could see it in his eyes every time he'd look at her or Remus. Least of all that Valerie.

She overreacted.

"Fuck me," huffing in annoyance she couldn't believe that Sirius had been right all along, she had been a massive brat.

"I think you're in the wrong place for that," Marlene's voice cut through the room startling her.

"Sorry Marls," she grimaced knowing that it was her shuffling and restlessness that woke her friend.

"I'm sure your loverboy would be more than happy to solve your problem. Just go to him." And giving y/n her back, she went back to sleep. Y/n had confided in her friend, she usually liked to keep her relationship's problems between her and her boyfriends but Marlene had seen right through her.

She let out a sigh, looking at the ceiling, she knew that she couldn't go on like this much longer. She never could sleep when she had a serious fight with her boyfriends. Trying to be as silent as possible and climbed the stairs to the common room.

Trying to figure out the best way to approach Sirius after the fight, the best words to use, she almost missed the silhouette of a boy sitting in front of a fire. As soon as she had spotted it though, y/n knew immediately who it was.

Sirius always had trouble sleeping.

"Hey," not wanting to scare him, she quietly spoke to announce her presence before making her way to him.

"Hi," good thing she had spoken, 'cause Sirius appeared to be deep in thoughts and hadn't heard her coming down. "What are you doing here?"

"Couldn't sleep. You?"

"Same."

Both of them were aware of the reason why both of them were too restless to sleep but it felt like the words needed to be said. Even if to just ease them into the conversation they knew they needed to have.

"Look-"

"Listen-"

Speaking at the same time like they were in some sort of romcom felt comical but also very in intune with them. Always clashing.

Smiling softly at each other, they waited for the other to speak. Almost as if they had made a silent agreement, again, they spoke at the same time.

"I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for?" Sirius added confused. She did nothing wrong as far as he's concerned.

"I overreacted, I was a bitch," she started listing with the help of her fingers, "I threw a fit, do I need to add more?"

"Oh baby," shaking his head he took her hands in his before continuing, "can't blame you for that when I would have reacted the same way, can I?"

"It seemed like I don't trust you though," now it was her turn to shake her head and give his hands a squeeze, "which is absolutely not true. I know you're loyal."

"Surely, you must know how deeply I care for you."

"I do, I do," she insisted when she saw doubt still clouding his eyes, "sometimes I let my insecurities get the best of me. I'm sorry if I hurt you though, it isn't an excuse."

"We all got insecurities, bunny. And I'm the one who's sorry, I shouldn't have messed with you that much. I was being an arsehole and I ruined your surprise." He reassured her before his head hung low in shame. There's the thing about Sirius: he could be very forgiving when it came to his loved ones but never when it came to himself.

"You were a bit of a moron, but it's okay. I didn't want to come off as needy, you weren't that late anyway." Taking his chin between her fingers, she tilted his head up so that she could look into his eyes. There was nothing y/n hated more than Sirius being so intransigent with himself when he deserved nothing but love and happiness. Good thing that he had two doting and loving partners then, right?

"Bunny," tightening his hold on the hand he was still holding, his eyes glowed in the firelight, turning solemn as the words he was about to share, " you're the most important person in my life along with the marauders. If you want my attention, you got it. Hell, you already have all my attention. You're always on my mind, and certainly in my heart. I love you, there's no one but you and Remus. I promise."

Letting his forehead touching hers gently, he gave her a soft Eskimo kiss. This soft intimacy always melted his heart. Sure, steamy makeup sex was always a wonderful post-fight but this- this was way better. Sirius had had plenty of sex with other people, it wasn't a secret, but he had never had this kind of quiet, almost domestic affection. And it was what he craved more than anything. It was one of those things that you can't live without once you had it.

"I love you too, Sirius. You and Remus are it for me." She promised while her fingers gently caressed his jaw. They settled in comfortable silence, enjoying each other presence, basking in the promise that this would be forever.

"Did you and Remus open it?" Leaning back so that she could see him better, she asked after a while.

"Nope wanted to make things right with you first."

"Then it's not ruined. Just postponed." As if the last couple of hours didn't happen, y/n felt the excitement come back to her. However, the clock neared midnight and having things finally been set straight between them, the strain of the day was slowly dawning on them. And as a matter of fact, Sirius yawned in the cutest way. Nose scrunched, eyes watering, he looked so much like a puppy, one wouldn't believe it.

"C'mon love, let's go to bed, alright?" Leaving a kiss to his lips, she quietly coaxed him up from the sofa.

"Can't we stay here and cuddle a bit more?" Groaning, he complained settling his head in the crook of her neck, refusing to let her go.

"Who said we had to part? I'm not letting you go tonight, but I'm sure Moony is feeling lonely up there." She said quickly pecking his temple, the closest part of his face she could reach and walked towards their dorm with him attached to her like a koala.

"Mh yes, let's go then. Moony gives the best cuddles."

"That he does my love." She agreed giggling. Remus was the best at quite a few things but maybe they could explore them in the morning.

#wolfstar imagine #wolfstar x y/n #wolfstar fanfiction #wolfstar x reader #wolfstar #sirius black x reader #sirius black imagine #sirius black one shot #sirius black fluff #sirius black angst #remus lupin x reader #polyamarous #marauders imagine #marauders era #marauders x reader #marauders fluff #marauders angst

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astaroth1357 · 4 years

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Long Distance Longing with the Brothers

Want a little angst and sweetness? I love how this turned out and I think it’s a new favorite for me. I honestly should wait to post it... But I have no patience, I love it too much. Weirdly enough, thank Taylor Swift’s new album for giving me this idea. Go figure. 🤷‍♀️

Warnings: Angst, implied starvation

Intro:

The brothers knew it was going to happen eventually. The year can't last forever, and at some point they were going to have to say goodbye to their human for the break… But that didn't make the situation any easier. Nobody likes being so far from the one they love. It was only a matter of time before our boys are reaching a breaking point...

Lucifer

Lucifer has never really had a reason to not to work before… Like, yeah there are those days where things get stressful and he takes a step back, but actually taking an extended period of time to just... not work? A "vacation" if you will? He’s never had the desire. What would he even do with himself?

Well, for the first time in literal God knows how many centuries, he had an answer for that question. He was going to be with MC.

And that's exactly what he told Diavolo when he finally accepted that missing the MC was negatively affecting his work.

He wanted a… "vacation."

Diavolo had never once thought Lucifer would ever ask, and to be fair the man never thought he would either, but he's more than happy to give his friend a few days off to visit his dear human.

Whatever brief hit that his pride took by having to admit that he needed a break was more than made up for by finally seeing the MC again. He knew he missed them, painfully aware of that fact, but just the sight of them waiting to meet him outside the portal was enough to nearly take his breath away…

His first vacation was sure to be paradise.

Mammon

Oh, the distance was killing this poor boy. Any day where he can’t have the MC on his arm feels worse than when he's on a losing streak…

Speaking of a losing streak, he's been stuck in one for a whole month without his beloved partner in crime with him. Did he lose his lucky charm or was he just too down in the dumps to gamble well? Anyone's guess.

Well he got fucking sick of it. He wanted to see the MC, ASAP. But how would he get to the human world…?

It takes a week but he gets an idea. It took another for it to actually trigger.

Like clockwork one of the witches he's regularly in debt to, one that just happens to be a bad gambler herself, summoned him out to give her a little extra luck. Usually, he'd just kick whatever slot machine she’s parked herself at and be done with it but this time he's got to ask… How long does that summon spell last, eh?

He made a new sort of bargain. She gets to take Goldie out for a spin if she gave him some time in exchange… 24 hours to be exact.

He didn't waste a second after striking the deal because he had a lot of flying to do.

The MC probably didn't expect to hear frantic knocking on their door at the break of dawn, nor to find a beat tired and disheveled Mammon leaning outside it….

But he embraced them for all it's worth anyway. If it meant feeling them in his arms again, he'd trade away the whole world if he had to...

Leviathan

He… didn’t do so well with the distance. Like at all. He'd mope around the house, constantly bemoaning how unfair things were. Not even his favorite games can give him any joy because those were the games he used to play with MC…

Sneaking in the occasional video call was pretty much the only thing that could make him smile anymore. Just seeing their face felt like getting a cold drink in the middle of a scorching desert… But he wanted more.

Thankfully, the MC themselves gave him a really, really good idea…

For two weeks straight, Levi seemed to get out of whatever funk he was in to help out around the House… Like, really help out. Suck-up levels of help out. It creeped everybody out...

After a time he finally approached Lucifer and made a simple request. There was an anime convention going on in the human world soon and he'd like to attend…

The ulterior motive for this little visit is practically written on the wall, but he'd been acting so damn unnerving for the past two weeks Lucifer just gave him permission to make him stop.

When the MC agreed to meet him on the opening day, they said they'd be dressed up as someone he'd recognize. Frankly, he was expecting Henry or maybe Ruri-chan but he was completely floored to see them waiting for him dressed in a familiar black hoodie with coral-like horns on their head and a carefully crafted serpent's tail behind them.

To this day he still can't decide what made him happier: seeing the love of his life so adoringly dressed as him or finally feeling their body collide with his after they came running to each other outside the convention hall...

In the end it probably doesn't matter because for that whole day alone, he finally felt like he had everything he could of ever wanted right there with him.

Satan

Satan's not one for idle moping so when he felt that yearning in his chest finally hit a tipping point, he didn't whine. He didn't complain. He got up and did something about it.

Teleportation magic is tricky to master and dangerous to perform even with sufficient skill. One wrong move and you could end up smearing yourself across three different continents…

But like that would stop him.

He pulled out every book he could find on the subject, researched for days, then practiced for weeks. First on books and apples, then on some of Lucifer’s belongings.

He had to keep making new excuses to throw Lucifer off the scent (especially after he started sending some of his shirts away to different parts of the house) but after some time, it finally paid off.

Satan was probably the last person the MC would have expected to see show up in their room randomly one night, sitting casually by a lamp and reading a book like he didn't just master time and space just to come say hi.

But who was going to be all that picky when they could finally shower their nerdy cat-lover in all the love and kisses they've both been missing for months now?

Asmodeus

If you took Asmo at his word, then the sheer depths of longing and despair he was experiencing while the MC was away could far outweigh that of anyone else to ever have existed in the history of all time.

He was the Avatar of Lust, desire was in his nature. Couple that with a burning need to have his lover as close to him as he possibly could and it was safe to say he was losing his mind!

This might have been the reason Solomon finally gave in after his 16th-ish time trying to beg the sorcerer to help him. He really was quite pitiful in this state...

When Solomon told Asmo that he could smuggle him out of the teleportation gate between the Devildom and human world ONLY if he could magically disguised his appearance, he was kind of expecting Asmo to refuse. This was Asmo he was talking about. He honestly thought that he'd rather die than deprive the world of his beauty so selfishly…

The world is full of surprises, ain't it?

No matter where they were, no matter what they were doing, the MC was suddenly mowed over by a "stranger" running at them at top speed like an Olympic sprinter. It’d probably have been pretty scary before Solomon lifted the enchantment shortly after to reveal their demon’s gorgeously familiar face.

Solomon wasn't going to let him stay too long, lest he incur the wrath of Lucifer, but Asmo couldn't care less. Be it a thousand hours or a few short seconds, he could always find a way to make his time with the MC last a lifetime...

Beelzebub

Fun fact, Hell freezes over a little every time Beel says "I'm not hungry…" No. Seriously. A freezing wind blasts across the entire Devildom like the realm itself gets a sudden chill...

So imagine the levels of panic that went through pretty much everyone there when his appetite started to fail him.

It's not like the poor baby could help it, food just tasted so much better when the MC was there that eating without them was like trying to digest actual disappointment… He got tired of trying after a while.

A few days of this behavior were worrying, but when he started to get a little thinner the family went into an uproar, starting with Belphie but soon spreading to the rest of the House as well.

Lucifer's soft spot for the twins may have influenced his decision. I mean, it was awfully generous of him to get Diavolo to approve of an fully sanctioned, planned meeting between Beel and the MC. He probably wouldn’t have offered that to anyone else...

Not that Beel cared about all that background favoritism anyway. Hell, on the day that he was finally allowed to see them, he couldn't be bothered by anything other than holding the MC close and hoping they'd never let him go again.

His appetite did return to him eventually, of course, but as long as he had his human with him even the cheapest street taco tasted like a fine five star-meal.

Belphegor

Frankly, Belphegor was sick and tired of missing people.

Ever since the Celestial War he missed Lilith. When he was stuck in the attic, he missed Beel. And now that the MC was away he was supposed to just sit patiently and miss them too? No way. Not happening. Something about that had to change.

It wasn’t the first time he'd gone to Lucifer in an angry huff, but admittedly he had more ammo than usual...

There was a… discussion between the two. It went on for a couple hours… There may have been some words to the effect of, "Don't you think you owe me?" exchanged…

Honestly, it was kind of amazing Belphie didn't end up in another attic "timeout" by the end of it. But he got what he wanted, so what's to complain about?

With a little persuasion on his part, Lucifer managed to get Diavolo to approve of a weekly visit for the two, SO LONG as Belphie stayed on his best behavior in the human world.

There wasn’t really much worry about him acting up, though, since he'd have his nap buddy back. It would be pretty hard to be a threat to humanity when he was too busy staying snuggled up to his favorite person until well past noon...

#obey me #obey me shall we date #shall-we-date-obey-me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me headcanons #obey me scenarios

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anya-grace · 3 years

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Two beautiful people sent me an ask about my rivetra actors au, and boyyyy let me tell you, it was so fun making them again 😍 thank you to the pretty souls who asked this! 💘

The first actors au were from season 1 and 2, this one will focus on the filming of season 3 until the last season :) here you go!

more rivetra actors!au headcanon (some are nsfw-ish)

- Let me get straight to the point: lots of sex. Car sex. On-set sex. Dressing room sex. Name it.

- Both of them are aware that it was unprofessional, but there was a time when they did not see each other for more than a month because of their (especially Levi’s) busy and conflicting schedule, so when Petra surprised him on set, the frustration and longing just piled up and they had sex.

- Then it became a habit.

- And this habit, of course, didn’t go unnoticed by the other casts and even crews of the show. Armin heard them once, and the poor boy made a mental note to never ever come close to Levi’s room again.

- The older casts are fine with it since, you know, normal adult stuff. But for the love of the three Walls, can you lovebirds tone the moaning down? People are trying to get some sleep wtf.

- Levi’s make-up artist had to deal with the pain of covering his hickeys (courtesy of Ms. Petra Ral) every shoot. The ones on his neck, especially those near his adam’s apple were the most visible. And since Captain Levi rarely wore a cravat in season three, part one, it made the work harder for the make-up artist.

- As compensation, Petra always bought a special souvenir for Levi’s make-up artist whenever she flies overseas for her theater shows.

- For the premiere of season 3, Levi took Petra as his date on the red carpet. It was the first event they attended publicly as a couple.

- It was a big milestone for their relationship because they are both public figures. And we all know what happens when celebrities publicize their relationships, it is prone to issues and controversies.

- And you can very well guess that Levi Ackerman showing off his beautiful girlfriend to the press was big news. As big as the AoT premiere even.

- During the air of season three, Levi became more famous and he attracted many overseas fans as well as international actresses because of his brilliant scenes with Kenny.

- Although Petra is not the jealous type, she admitted that somehow it affected her when other international actresses expressed their admiration towards Levi. Some even said that Levi is their type and they are looking forward to working with him in the future.

- When Levi sensed this, he immediately headed to his IG and posted a picture of Petra with a very cheesy caption lmao. Forgive him, he's new to this kind of relationship.

- Did I mention he also posted a picture of them kissing in front of the Eiffel tower?

- Only a few know this, but the real Levi is one clingy boyfriend.

- He is very touchy when it comes to Petra. He just really loves holding her. Sometimes he just randomly hugs her, caresses her, nuzzles her. He just loves having skin-to-skin contact with her.

- His love language is actions and gestures.

- His favorite gesture to do to Petra is a back hug with his arms under her boobs. It was a soft gesture and it wasn't sexual in any way...until it did.

- More than half of their sex started with Levi touching Petra’s underboobs tbh.

- Sometimes Levi thinks that he's neglecting Petra and more than once he considered quitting the show business for her. But then he’ll see her smiling at him, and she tells him that she's very proud of what he’s doing and that she's happy that she gets to support him with doing the things he is really passionate about and just… all he could think of that time is that he wants to marry this amazing woman.

- He is also supportive of Petra’s theater actress career, of course. And he hates the fact that he needs to hide whenever he watches one of her shows since people eventually gather around him asking for an autograph and he feels that it’s rude for Petra. This is her moment and he doesn’t want to ruin it for her.

- Hence, his all-black and mysterious get-up whenever he watches her show.

- AoT season three was a huge success and plans for season four are already on the move. Casts were given a long break before the shooting began again and both Petra and Levi took this as a chance to bond together.

-Petra's favorite thing to do with Levi is playing with animals. She has a soft spot for animals, and she wanted for them to adopt a pet but she knew that the poor animal will only be given less attention because both of them are always busy.

-When Petra's theater world tour ended, she and Levi started living together. They didn't have the chance to do it before since they were both busy.

-Them living together is probably the height of their relationship. They fought, they had sex, they laughed, they played, they bathe together. They did everything together and it was a beautiful experience.

- For their third anniversary, Levi booked a vacation on a private island for a week. It was also their last bonding because Levi is going to start filming again for season four in less than a month.

- They did not communicate with anyone during that one week. It was just them, and they made the most of it.

- Mornings were spent for morning sex and breakfast in bed. Afternoons were for swimming, sleeping, cuddling, hugging, kissing, and every activity they could think of doing. They explored the island, they petted stray animals, they dived into the ocean, they build sandcastles, they ate different dishes, they had sex in caves and while swimming on the beach, they climbed trees, they bought souvenirs, and most importantly, they took many pictures together.

- Evenings were the most romantic of all. They had sex in the darkness of their own room while they hear the ocean waves crashed to the shore outside and as the sea breeze cooled their sweat-slicked skin. They took the time to explore each other’s body like it’s their last (because it will be in a matter of days).

- On their last night, Pet cried while they’re having sex. Levi’s face was buried on the crook of her neck and she was moaning one moment, and then the next she’s sobbing like a poor little baby.

- She said that she’d gotten used to life with Levi always by her side and she didn’t want it to ever change. Levi comforted her. He petted her hair, and he said that it’s going to be okay. He kissed her head, then her hair, her face, and her body. Then they had the most emotional and meaningful sex of their entire life.

- Levi started shooting again for season four. Petra, like the past seasons, visits him as much as she can. It was hard adjusting to this type of life again, but she’s a strong woman. And besides, she’s going to start rehearsing for another theater show again.

- They need to undergo medical check-ups before the casting and she found out then that she is pregnant with Levi’s baby.

- It freaked her out. She and Levi never talked about babies before since they’re busy with their careers, and their relationship has always been just the two of them.

- Levi was out of town for the shoot, and she didn’t want to tell him the good news on the phone so she patiently waited until he got home.

- He was greeted with a fancy dinner, and a “Welcome home, Daddy” by Petra. Levi thought that it was her being cheeky and naughty at first, but when dinner ended and she ran for her life to the sink, that’s when he started getting worried. And when Petra showed him the positive result in her medical check-up, well, let’s just say that on that day, Levi Ackerman received a good reminder of what he did to her on their vacation months ago.

- But seriously, he was seconds away from calling his manager and dropping his AoT contract just so he can take care of Petra and their baby. Petra said that it was fine, and she doesn’t want him to quit.

- Levi apologized to Petra many times because he wasn’t there when she discovered it, but she assured him that it was alright and it wasn’t his fault. God, he’s with the perfect woman.

- Since Levi is a big shot in the industry, he demanded control over his schedules. Honestly, he wanted to be at her side 24/7. He wanted to see her belly swell as months went by. He wanted to be the one to satisfy her midnight pregnancy cravings. He wanted to kiss her face and her belly first thing in the morning.

- He convinced Petra to move temporarily to the Ackerman family house where Levi’s parents are staying. Kenny and Mikasa also lived in the same affluent neighborhood. He had doctors, and helpers, and bodyguards hired for Petra. But she said that she’s too uncomfortable with many people around her.

- Petra and Levi’s mom build a bond of their own. She’d gotten to know more of Levi through his mother’s perspective. The older woman showed her Levi’s teenage room, his past awards, his photos, his audition tapes that weren’t out for the public, and she fell in love with him more.

- They had a super private wedding with their relatives and closest friends. Petra was six months pregnant by that time and season four is planned to air three months from now.

- So, you know about that one holy Rivetra panel where Petra is looking back to Levi? The reason why the scene was not in the actual show was that she is pregnant. That’s why the directors are forced to use old scenes from season one instead.

- Despite all the efforts of being private, paparazzi and the media still caught wind of the secret wedding, and rumors about Petra being pregnant started circulating over the internet. Levi shut down these rumors every time someone attempted to question him in his interviews.

- When the shooting ended, Petra was already eight months into pregnancy. As per tradition, the cast and staff held an after-party, but Petra was surprised when it became a baby shower for her instead.

- The baby was supposedly due in the third week of December, but Petra’s water broke around the first week instead and she started her labor. She ended up having the same birthday as their healthy baby boy.

- The baby was named River Ackerman. He was named after Levi’s role where he won the Best Actor Award when he was seventeen. It was also a tribute to Levi’s role in AoT since his name was sometimes spelled as ‘Rivaille’ on many occasions.

#this was so long oh boy #i love this au so much tooooo #y'all can send me more ask about this au if u want :)#rivetra #levi x petra #rivapeto #rivetra headcanon #rivetra actors au

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stilesmieczyslaw · 2 years

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An Update!

For those of you who are waiting for part two of ‘Choose me’. Ive finished it. I will post it tomorrow as I like to wait a little bit before posting just in case a last spout of insperation hits me. But I will give you a little preview of a part.

"Tell me about him. The man who gave you the ring. You talk about him in your sleep you know." Ciri sat down with you in the snow. It was odd. Why would anyone choose just to sit in the snow? "Nothing embarassing I hope." You laughed off. Actually hoping it wasn't embarassing. "No. You cry sometimes. Sometimes you laugh. But nothing embarassing." She reassured you. "He..." You paused feeling a lump in your throat. You coughed slightly before continuing. "He was a bard." "A bard? The loud people who sing?" Of course, she knew what a bard was, she just couldn't imagine you and a bard together. You were so quiet and peaceful. A bard was almost the opposite.

"The loud people who sing." You confirmed with a laugh. "He was very loud and he could sing beautifully." You reminisced. "He was the one who wrote Toss a coin." "Really?" Ciri was very interested. She had heard a few people in court sing that song. "Yeah. He wrote it the same day we met. Him, me, and Geralt. His songs before then were dreadful. He followed us around to get some truth and real ideas. He used to take the food people threw at him and... save it for later." You couldn't help yourself getting emotional as you spoke about him.

"You don't have to tell me if it hurts too much! I know speaking about my mother upsets me sometimes." You smiled at the girl and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. You had so much in common with her. Her home is gone and Geralt now raising her. "No. It's not that it hurts too much. It's just the first time I've spoken about him properly since... Well, since It happened. I met your mother you know. I was there when the law of surprise occurred. That was also the night when he and I admitted our feelings. Gods it took us years."

"Why?" She was so curious. She had known you and Geralt for months now but she didn't really know you that much. This was the most information she had gotten out of either of you. "We were both scared. We got on so perfectly I guess that we were scared that if the other didn't feel the same then our dynamic wouldn't be the same anymore. Although." You laughed. "He told me a couple of years before that night and I didn't realize."

You paused thinking about it. "The thing is. I fell for him the day we met. When he put bread rolls down his trousers and wrote a song. It was everything about him. His smile. His eyes. His voice. His empathy. Everything. I cast the feelings away as some girl-ish crush that would go away but it didn't. It only got stronger and I wish I had told him sooner. Although. No matter when I told him. It would have ended the same."

"What happened?" "He and Geralt had an argument. If you can call it that. It was certainly one-sided. I don't know if you've noticed but Geralt is quite stubborn. I had a choice that day. To stay with the man who was going to be my husband. Or the man who had raised me like a daughter. We call ourselves brother and sister out of respect for my real father but in all honesty, I can't remember my real father. It's been too long. I only remember Geralt and these guys." You motioned to the keep around you. "These guys are my family. Even if they drive me up the wall." You rubbed your ribs.

"Do you regret it? Your choice?" "Everyday." You admitted. "I miss waking up in his arms. I miss the way he made me laugh and the way he made me feel. I want to pack up everything I have and go back to him. But, it's complicated. I think I made the right choice. If I had chosen him then I never would have met you for starters." You nudged the girl. "And I quite like you. You are part of my family now whether you like it or not."

"I think I'm warming up to it." She admitted with a small smile. You stood up and offered her your hand. "Speaking of warming up, let's go inside before you literally freeze your arse off." She took your hand and you began to lead her inside. "By the way, Y/n. You never told me his name." "Jaskier."

#a little update for you guys #I loved writing this #I hope I live up to expectations #tomorrow night!#jaskier x reader #jaskier imagine

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afairytalestray · 3 years

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Mates

Part 6! Can’t believe I’ve gotten so far into this precanonheadcanon series (masterpost here)! I’m planning a masterpost for ease of navigation that will be going up as my pinned post soon(ish). But for now, something a little different. In my previous posts I’ve been focussing on character backgrounds, but this one is more sort of, Cats universe lore? It’s about an aspect of Junkyard society (which is honestly a hilarious phrase to type) - the mating bond: what it means and how important it is. I also included some thoughts on the pas-de-deux - it was great fun picking the different dances for the different couples, it’s awesome that Cats incorporates so many different styles of music (I’m not just obsessed with Strictly Come Dancing what are you talking about). Enjoy!

Becoming mates is a bit like human marriage, but like, more. A mating bond is a very serious thing, it can’t be broken and not just any two cats can become mates. You have to present yourself to the Jellicle leader and receive their blessing, and then present yourself to the Everlasting Cat at the Jellicle Ball via the pas-de-deux and gain their blessing too. If the EC accepts the couple then everyone just kinda knows in their souls - you can feel it, the EC’s blessing and joy spreading through you like a warm sparkly wave of emotion and love and happiness which is almost overwhelming, and generally leads to the “cuddle pile”.

Those two Cats are then bound for life (perhaps even all their lives) as mates. They’re kind of like, sharing a soul? So being together makes them both stronger, but being separated for too long causes them to become withdrawn and weak - this is why Grizabella is a ragged wreck when she eventually returns. Also as a result of the soul-sharing, a mated pair can be chosen as the Jellicle choice. Normally that’s a single-cat deal, this is the only case in which an exception to that rule can be made. It’s not a rule that they always have to be chosen together (see Old D and Griz), but in general, separating the pair would be seen as a terrible cruelty, even in the case of it being the Jellicle choice, which is generally seen as an honour/a positive thing. Mates aren’t all that common though, so it doesn’t come up very often.

Due to how serious a thing a mating bond is, not many couples go for it - there’s no stigma in not attempting it. Even if a couple does try, it’s no guarantee that they’ll be accepted, and if they aren’t… well then that’s just really awkward for everyone involved. This doesn’t happen often though (it’s not unheard of, but the Jellicle leader will generally not give their blessing unless they’re confident the pair will be accepted by the EC). Most Cats (such as Jennyanydots and Jellylorum) are perfectly happy just living together as partners. You can kind of tell though, when a pair is likely to become mates. They’ll have a connection, and not even always right away - things can change over time to create a vibe that’s just right and you just know. For example, Munkustrap and Demeter became mates after only two months of dating; they grew up together, but the connection didn’t form until later on. And Tugger and Mistoffelees were unquestionably destined from the moment they met to be the youngest pair (21 and 19 in the equivalent human years I guess) ever to be accepted.

Current mated pairs (in the pre-canon):

Old Deuteronomy and Grizabella*

Munkustrap and Demeter

Tugger and Misto

*You can’t break a mating bond, but you can strain it to within an inch of its life; since Griz was the one who left she bears most of the brunt of the effects, but Old D feels them too, mostly mentally and emotionally but also physically (“my legs may be tottery, I must go slow” - he’s not just old my guys). It affects each cat differently, although it’s hard to know since basically no one ever does this. When Grizabella left it spooked the hell out of everyone, they didn’t know that it was even possible to walk away from a mate. Old D hides the pain incredibly well for the sake of his children; he gets really emotional when not just one, but both of his sons are accepted (but let's be real, moreso Tugger because he was the wild child [and more like Deut himself when he was younger]).

Not every Ball has a pas-de-deux, that’s reserved for when two Cats wish to become mates. Two in a row (Demestrap then Tuggoffelees the next time) was absolutely wild for the Jellicles honestly, considering the last time was Deutabella like, 30 odd years ago. Also, the type of pas-de-deux changes depending on the couple. Demeter and Munkustrap had a lovely Waltz (like this). It’s slow and romantic and beautiful and they can’t take their eyes off each other and everyone ugly cries. Old Deuteronomy and Grizabella danced a glamorous American Smooth (like this), it was flashy and captivating - an epitome of their younger years. Tugger and Misto performed a smooth foxtrot (I genuinely can’t decide between this and this). This surprised many of the other Cats - for most of them it was their first time ever seeing Tugger’s soft romantic side, and Misto’s confident performer side. (Tugger loves lifting Misto, this cannot be overstated, but he’s only ever allowed to when they’re dancing, and Misto flat out vetoed it for their mating pas-de-deux [Misto dislikes being lifted - it makes him feel like “some sort of human child”], so Tugger compromised for a dramatic dip and spin.)

Only officially mated pairs use the term “mates”, other couples use words like “partners” or “boy/girlfriend”.

Future mated pairs will be:

Plato and Victoria (at the present day canon Jellicle Ball in the show)

Coricopat and Mungojerrie

#cats the musical #my headcanons #deutabella #demestrap #tuggoffelees #the rum tum tugger #mr mistoffelees #munkustrap #demeter #old deuteronomy #grizabella #ballroom dancing my beloved #pls let me know if the links work #jellydots #is an underrated ship #I will be giving it more love in a future installment

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waynewifey · 3 years

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Back to you. —

Pairing: Harry Potter x Neighbour!Muggle!reader

Sumary: Your childhood best friend and neighbour leaves for an entire year and you’re left in the dark.

Warnings: (bad) angst(ish), lowkey sad

Words: 1093.

A/N: I realised I’ve never written for Harry so here’s it! I wasn’t really inspired but I missed posting here so I’m sorry if this is not good enough. Also, I gave the reader a more plain personality so everyone came relate to it, I’ve been trying to do that for a while now. Please remember that my requests are always open and I love to read your feedbacks! <3

July 27th, 1997.

"Y/N did you take out the trash?!" I heard my mom screaming downstairs and sighted, pausing my radio in the middle of "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls. One of my favourite songs, obviously. I was 100% sure they would make history. I ran downstairs to the backyard, where the big bin stayed. I opened it, tied the black plastic bag and took it of the bin, taking it to the front garden. By the street, a couple was tucking two suitcases in the back of a car. My neighbours, the Dursley family. They did travel a lot, but something seemed off. I then found their son and his cousin by the door looking at each other. I furrowed my eyebrows when the couple and their son left, leaving Harry behind. Harry and I were best friends. Well, kind of. On one hand, I kissed him once last summer, something I wanted for a long time and as far as I know, friends don't kiss. On the other, I barely know much about his life. I mean, he goes to this boarding school, only comes back at the summer and sometimes just vanishes, and I know nothing about the school or his friends. But I guess we were always there for each other. Life at the Dursley's didn't seem great. I would often listen to their screams and fights. I would see Harry storm out of the house by my window and run to the street to invite him in at the middle of the night. He was always up for stargazing. Our gazes met, his eyes contorted in an expression of pain. I furrowed my eyebrows and after a long minute, I took a step in his direction.

"Stop!" He raised a hand to stop me, making me even more confused. I walked to him and, remembering how stubborn I was, he sighed and walked inside.

The living room was empty. Literally. Not a single furniture. Just an empty space. He walked me to his, as I thought, room and sat on the bed. There were a trunk and some boxes. The room was normally furnished. He signed for me to sit beside him and so I did. "What is going on, Harry?" I asked.

"We are... moving away." He answered, not looking at me.

"They left you here?" I touched his shoulder and he flinched. His brown and messy hair was messier than usual. There were deep eye bags on his face.

"Well, yes. I'm going to live with some friends, I guess." Harry said. He raised his head, finally looking at me. I stared into his beautiful green eyes. He was terrified.

"You don't seem very sure about that." He sighted.

"Look, (Y/N)... There are things in the world you don't know and you shouldn't. I need to do something big and... I might not... come back." His voice broke. I realised his eyes were filled with tears. Then I realised mine were, too. I didn’t understand, but Harry always told me there were somethings in his life I would never understand, for the good of him. I trusted him with all my being.

"It's okay, Harry. You can just give me your new address, I promise to send you letters everyday, alright?" I said, trying to force a comforting smile. He gave an smile, like he was saying "that's not it but thank you". That boy was a riddle.

"I'll miss you, (Y/N/N)." That phrase felt like a fist in my heart. I nodded slightly as tears fell down my face. He cupped my face and cleaned my tears. His gaze shifted to my mouth for a tiny second. I realised it was my last chance. Our lips met by a mutual effort. I forgot about anything else in the world. Nothing mattered. At that moment, the universe was just us. And then it ended. With a pained sound, he broke away, our foreheads touching.

"You should go." He whispered. I nodded and we walked to the front door. When I was almost in my front door, I turned around. He was standing there, watching me. I ran across the street to his arms. I head a sob leave his lips.

"Come back to me, golden boy."

May 10th, 1998.

Almost a year since I last saw Harry Potter. He never wrote me like he promised. He left and took everything from me with him. The first months I cried my life out everyday. Then I was filled with rage. I broke multiple vases of my living room. Fought everyone that passed by. Then there was nothing. I was just tired and empty. I missed my best friend. I graduated and he wasn’t there, like he had promised every time I had a breakdown because of school. Then I realised that was it. He wouldn’t be around anymore. He probably had set another life somewhere or who knows what. I started accepting his absence. I put away our polaroids and the letters he used to send me when he was at his boarding school. I stopped writing about him in my diary. I pretended we’ve never met, but every time I went to sleep, there was only him in my mind.

“Y/N, did you took out the trash?” My mom’s signature phrase echoed through the house. I had just finished cleaning my room and had an entire bag of stuff I wanted to throw away. I quickly ran downstairs to the front door, to take my trash first. As I opened the door, I met a male figure with his hand only half a inch from the door. His brown hair was messy and his glasses were dirty, as always. But he had grown at least seven inches. His shoulders were more muscular. He looked more manly. But still, I would recognise those green eyes anywhere. There was Harry, not the scared Harry Potter from July 27th, but my —sweet, caring and sarcastic— Harry Potter, only way bigger. His eyes were wide open in shook. I guessed he was about to knock on my door. God, there was Harry! After a minute without saying a word, I dropped the trash bag and embraced him in my arms. He still had the same smell. He push me away just to pull me back into a heart-melting kiss. The memory from all the months before crossed my mind, but now as a healed wound. Harry was fine and, best of all, with me.

“I came back to you.”

#harry potter imagines #fluff imagine #golden trio era #harry potter x reader #harry potter imagine #harry potter masterlist #solo harry #harry potter #harry potter x y/n #harry potter x you #pls send requests

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rangertessadarling · 3 years

Text

let's discuss the fucked up nature that is Will Treaty's life

(spoilers for all the books)

This child literally has the worst luck in the universe.

He was found on the doorstep of a ward as a baby with a note that doesn't explain shit about his family.

He was raised by a bunch of women who were paid to care for him. Probably neglected, picked on, and lonely.

Not to mention he didn't have a last name and he was also small for his age. Can you imagine how many other bullies (besides Horace) this kid has encountered?

But there was one dream that sustained him through all of this. That his Father was a knight, and he was going to be a knight too. Most likely to feel some sort of connection with the Father he never knew.

BUt like everything in this poor kids life karma stabbed him in the fucking back. He was rejected not just by the battlemaster, but by every single craftmaster in the room. Until the most unexpected person spoke up saying he would take him.

So he became a ranger's apprentice blah blah blah, almost died a couple times, saved a couple people's lives, whatever. He got rewarded. He found out what he really wanted to do with his life. He stayed with Halt. He was happy and peaceful for the first time in his life. SO ALL WAS WELL

Then he got kidnapped, dragged across an ocean with a girl he barely knew, enslaved, drugged, (probably beaten tbh) then he recovered and woke up in a cabin in the middle of the woods.

Long story short they got out of there, they saved another country they went home blah blah blah the end. ALSO THE KID PROBABLY HAS PTSD. BUT YA KNOW, LIKE FLANAGAN, WE CAN IGNORE THAT. (no shade to flanny lol)

Then he almost lost his horse bff, he almost lost his own life, he almost lost his only father figure, and he almost lost a bunch of his friends. But ya know he's fine.

MOVING ON he graduated, he got his own fief etc...Then the love of his life almost died and he almost went insane. Which brought about his feelings for her, so I guess that might've been a good thing.

THEN HIS FATHER FIGURE ALMOST DIED AGAIN AND WILL PRACTICALLY WENT CRAZY.

Then Nihon ja happened, nothing too traumatic there.

Then he got marriedddd and for the first time since he was like 2 months old he had a legal family. And he was happy, for a long 13-ish years he was really happy.

Then karma bit him in the ass again and his wife died. And she didn't just 'die' she died in the worst way a person could die. In a fire so intense they never even found her body for a proper funeral.

So naturally Will is pissed and he goes after her murderers. And his friends get mad at him, and send a 15 year old willful, annoyingass princess to him so that Will and Maddie's shitty attitudes cancel each other out.

And tbh it worked. I mean first she gets drunk, and disowned. Then he gets kidnapped by the bitch who killed his wife. Then the said bitch almost kills Will, and ends up almost killing Maddie. BUT EVERYTHING'S STILL FINE.

THEY'RE ALL FINE.

Anyway sorry for the frickin book i just posted, but ya know this was on my mind and I knew the only way I could focus on this essay I'm supposed to be writing is if I get this out of my brain and put into words.

#rangers apprentice #ra #will treaty #halt o'carrick #horace altman #madelyn altman #alyss mainwaring #princess cassandra #Gilan davidson #will treaty deserved better #he also probably needs therapy #will treaty needs a hug #tessa's headcanons

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absoloutenonsense · 3 years

Text

fic writer questions

Thank you to @falsegoodnight, @disgruntledkittenface, and @wabadabadaba for the tag!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

11 - it would be more if I didn’t half-start a new fic every month.

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

397,182

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Since starting writing again - just one, 1D.

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Nothing But You On My Mind

thinking about the t-shirt you sleep in

It’s Always Better When We’re Together

Gimme Some Sugar

Little by Little

5) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

None of them are angsty endings, actually. Even the more open-ended ones are pretty happy. I guess angsty endings just hasn’t been my jive so far. Never say never though.

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

An argument could be made for a few different ones, but if I had to pick one, I think H&L in Little by Little feel the happiest at the end.

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I’m not really drawn to crossovers? Not that I couldn’t be in the future but it’s just not really for me, I don’t think.

8) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Sure do, we love smut in this house. Sweet & whatever I find hot.

9) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I... try. If I leave it for too long, I start to get overwhelmed and then digging into it is hard. I’m the type of person that feels like if I reply to one I gotta reply to all, so if I didn’t start soon after I posted it, I probably won’t ever. (case and point: NBYOMM - sorry to everyone who’s left such lovely and amazing comments!)

10) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I’ve been very lucky, I don’t think I’ve ever gotten hate (I hate that I’ve been lucky to not get hate?? Please don’t leave hateful comments on people’s fics?????) I have had a couple of comments that have mildly annoyed me, but those are like, questions about who tops (I spend so much time writing whatever story it is, I won’t be acknowledging comments that minimize all of my work down to a sex position, thnxxxx✌.)

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Once, that I know of.

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have! I’m very particular about it.

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I haven’t and I can’t really see myself doing that for a couple of reasons. 🤷‍♀️

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

I sure do only have one relationship tag in my AO3 works lol

I love reading other ships though, in 1D and outside of this fandom!

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

*long mournful sigh* The first fic I started writing for this fandom was a Hades and Persephone AU. I think I have 60k from beginning to 1/3rd of the way through, another 25k of scenes that would appear later. At this point, I don’t think she’s getting finished. I think of her often.

16) What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue - from ages 12-14 I carried around a notebook with the specific purpose that, if I was alone or waiting or whatever, I could write down conversations I overheard - because little tiny bb me read that you should do that if you want to get better at writing dialogue. Idk if it really helped so much back then, but I think I’ve got the hang of it now. Also I talk a lot.

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

Descriptions. I always forget to include what their surroundings look like or how characters are moving and have to go back and add it in later.

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I did a touch of this in It’s Always Better When We’re Together and am still anxious that I got it wrong, and that someone somewhere is laughing or cursing at me for butchering the French.

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Way back when, I wrote Harry Potter fic, but this time around it’s been One Direction all the way.

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

This is the hardest? I love them all or I wouldn’t have been able to let myself post them. Everything came together in But If This Ends in a way that I’m still really proud of, so that one right now.

Oof boy, I have been on and off tumblr sporadically for the last week-ish, so sorry if you’re already done this! Tagging @uhoh-but-yeah-alright, @indiaalphawhiskey, @twopoppies, @creamcoffeelou, @eeveelou

#tag game #fic game

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