#i forgot how many gems this film has
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The Philadelphia Story (1940) dir. George Cukor
#the philadelphia story#katharine hepburn#ruth hussey#edits#*#classicfilmblr#classicfilmsource#filmgifs#filmedit#i forgot how many gems this film has#cary grant#james stewart
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𐙚 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒂𝒈𝒊𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒍 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒆 ☆ (1/2)
❝ in which; the famed magician of fontaine meets the angel of opera epiclese "
» includes: mentions of ocs, oc x canon (irene levasseur x lyney)
» note: just to clarify, the first scene of this work is before the events fontaine archon quest, the second scene is after fontaine quest act 1 & 2!! i hope u enjoy this raaaaaa <3
The dark clouds were scattered across the land of Fontaine. Strong wind blowing the heavy rain as they harshly dropped to the ground. The weather was no delight to the people of Fontaine; children wondered why the Hydro Dragon was in so much anguish.
Despite the weather, the Opera Epiclese only witnessed a heavenly voice sent by Celestia, a voice from the one and only “Angel of Opera Epiclese”, singing a song of euphonic quality.
The Angel’s voice echoed in the opera house, reaching every corner of the room. Her vocals were so siren-like and clear—if anyone were to hear a simple hum from her, they would feel their heart burst and their body chill.
There was no voice that was as otherworldly as Irene’s voice was. She has taken the eyes of the audience, and perhaps even a certain magician's attention.
As Irene sang a song for the opera, Lyney was somewhere in the small audience, watching Irene sing for the first time. He, Lynette, and Freminet had received tickets from a friend that wanted to pay for their kindness in the past.
“Her voice is wonderful,” Lyney commented in a whisper, leaning near Lynette so she could hear.
Lynette agreed, nodding her head, “Yes, like a hidden gem.”
“She’s not that very popular in both the Theatre and Film Industry,” Lynette said, “even though she's been in many films, plays, musicals, operas…”
Lyney turned to Lynette, snickering quietly, taking the chance to tease his sister, “Seems like someone did their research—are you a big fan of hers?~”
“No, I was just curious about who she is and why I've never heard about her in The Steambird or anywhere on the news, so I decided to know more about her,” Lynette simply answered. “I’m surprised she hasn't gotten as much attention as Lady Furina.”
“‘Irene Levasseur, The Angel of Opera Epiclese,’” Freminet spoke for the first time ever since they went into the opera house, which was no surprise, “that’s what I heard how her fans refer to her.”
Freminet continued, "I heard this is her second time performing in the Opera Epiclese."
“Ah, finally, you've decided to talk,” Lyney smiled as he looked at his brother, Freminet, shifting his gaze to Irene once more. “Irene Levasseur, huh?”
Irene wore a white dress under a bright red cape, her hands on her chest as she passionately sang her heart out. Lyney liked her voice. It was captivating, and he was sure that the rest of the crowd thought so as well.
When the song reached its end, the lights shut, opening again once different characters were onstage.
At that moment, Lyney realized something. “Then, wouldn't that mean she's related to the man who sponsored our show in Hotel Debord? Mr. Victor Levasseur?” Lyney asked, “he’s from a prestigious family, isn’t he? So that would mean Miss Irene is too.”
Lynette’s catlike ears perked in realization, “Oh, that's right. I forgot to mention.”
Lyney sighed, shaking his head, tutting as he crossed his arms, “Are you too entranced by Miss Irene’s voice to even remember that?”
“It’s not that—” Lynette sighed annoyedly. “You’re very insistent about me being Miss Levasseur’s fan. Maybe you're the one who's the biggest fan,” Lynette said, crossing her arms.
Lyney laughed quietly, “Well, I simply cannot deny that her voice is truly an experience one must witness, but I think it's too early to say that I'm her biggest fan. I've only seen her just now.”
“Whatever,” Lynette said coolly, paying attention to the show once more. Lyney shrugged and did the same, and the rest of the opera went as planned…
**
Tapping feet, clenching fists, and breathing shakily. Those were three things that Lyney usually did before a performance.
Usually, Lyney knew he'd overcome his fears a minute before his performance. But this was a show that he truly feared. Critics from Inazuma, Liyue, and Mondstadt were going to watch his show, and he could never let himself mess up a performance that would potentially bring him more foreign audiences.
Lyney was usually confident, showing his undeniably charming personality to anyone, yet he felt that he was going to feel even more fearful at the last second.
It still would be 2 hours until Lyney’s magic show, which was after the musical that was being performed at the moment. He was watching the musical in the corner of the room, feeling his stomach flip.
Lynette was still double checking props backstage; Lyney couldn't feel any less stressed with the lack of his sister’s presence. It was too much for him at the moment, but he still had a confident expression on him.
Alas, too many thoughts enshrouded the magician’s head; what if he makes a mistake while performing? What if another murder suddenly takes place during his performance? What if he failed?
All those thoughts would simply be answered by Lyney himself, trying to give himself some comfort, but to no avail. His last (and first) show in the Opera Epiclese ended up in a disaster, what's to say that it won't be a disaster in front of foreign critics?
Lyney sighed mentally, feeling miserable.
As Lyney was preoccupied in his thoughts, the crowd applauded and a familiar voice echoed in the theater, accompanied by a piano.
“Mystic moon and glowing stars, guide this boy into the night.”
“Shady figures and cold chills, let this boy venture into the forest of fright.”
“Irene?” Lyney whispered to himself, immediately recognizing her voice.
The Angel of Opera Epiclese has blessed the crowd with her wonderful vocals once more.
Indeed it was Irene onstage, wearing a floor length dress and a veil on her head. She had wings on her back and a staff on her hand—she was playing as the witch that guides the main character into the forest.
Lyney gazed at the stage, his heart picking up. He was touched by her voice, as usual. Who couldn’t be enamored by her voice?
In truth, ever since Lyney witnessed Irene's presence on the stage, he found himself humming her song every now and then. And if she ever showed up in a play, he'd try his best to go watch, although he has been barely fortunate enough to see many since he has plans of his own.
Irene sang beautifully, as always, each note sung in a harmonious tone that captivates the crowd. Everyone’s attention was on the stage–were only on the Angel of the Opera Epiclese.
“Psst.”
Lyney didn’t reply, nor flinch.
“Psst..! Lyney.”
“Lyney!”
Lyney reluctantly stepped out of his trance, glancing here and there, finally noticing his sister, Lynette, her arms crossed, “Oh. Lynette,” he smiled, “how’s the prop check?”
“I’ve checked everything twice but I think you should personally check the things too,” Lynette stated, looking at Irene on the stage, “Oh, it’s Miss Irene.”
“...Now I understand why it took you forever to reply to me,” Lynette sighed, starting to walk backstage.
Lyney widened his eyes, surprised, “W-what do you mean?!” Lyney asked, running after Lynette, flustered at his sister’s bluntness.
“I mean that Miss Levasseur’s voice is enchanting,” Lynette said, raising her eyebrow. She didn't expect her brother’s reaction, “What else did you think?”
Before Lyney could reply, a sudden applause ensued as the two siblings went backstage. Irene's performance was probably finished.
Lyney closed his eyes for a moment, shaking his head as he took off his signature top hat, “Nothing else, nothing else. I just-” Lyney sighed, only to stop in his tracks. Lynette stopped walking too.
In front of the twins was The Angel of Opera Epiclese herself.
“Miss Levasseur!” Lyney exclaimed with a smile, immediately switching to his charming self, “what a wonderful performance you had! I knew that the crowd had their hearts racing as you sang.”
Irene nodded, smiling as well, “Thank you, Mr. Lyney.”
Lyney was surprised that Irene knew his name, but he did know that he had a bigger reputation compared to Irene—that didn't make her any less of a talented singer and entertainer, of course.
“I’ve been hoping to meet the two of you in person, it makes me very pleased to finally meet you two,” Irene stated.
Irene was like a perfect princess; her hands clasped in front of herself, showing a polite smile on her face, her posture straight, her costume perfectly fit for her, and her aura was comforting. It’s an utter sin that she wasn’t a well-known opera singer.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you too,” Lynette said, “you were beautiful onstage.”
“Thank you,” Irene responded, “are the two of you preparing for the performance you have after this musical? I'm sorry to have bothered you…”
Lyney shook his head, clutching his hat, “Not at all! Me and my sister were only doing prop checks before our show later.”
Irene smiled, nodding her head, “Good luck to you both on your performance. I’m sure you'll fascinate the stage.”
“Thank you, my lady,” Lyney bowed with a grin on his face. In truth, Lyney was a bit nervous to meet the singer he liked in person. It was basically seeing your idol in person!
Lyney glanced at Lynette, who was most likely on standby mode right now, then back at Irene, “I apologize if it seems like promotion, but I'm pretty sure we still have two tickets for our show. If you're interested in watching our show, we have two free tickets for you!”
Lynette looked at Lyney, confused. Her expression was screaming, ‘What are you doing???’ and to be honest, Lyney had no idea either.
“Ah,” Irene shook her head, “that won't be necessary. I actually already have tickets for your show tonight, so I'm looking forward to it.”
Lyney widened his eyes, surprised. Irene Levasseur? Watching his magic show? No. A better way to put it was; his celebrity crush? Personally watching his magic show? He couldn't believe it. It was like a dream.
“Oh, I see, I see! Then me and Lynette are honored to see you in the crowd!” Lyney said, still smiling.
“The pleasure is all mine—” Irene looked around, then to her manager— “I’m afraid I must abruptly end our meeting, Lyney, Lynette. It was very nice meeting you both.”
Lyney took Irene’s gloved hand, bringing it up and leaning his head down to place a delicate peck on her hand, looking into her eyes as he did so. His gaze was soft and his smile apparent—he knew he was charming but still felt bashful at his own doings.
“It was very nice to meet you too, Miss Levasseur,” Lyney said, gently letting go of Irene’s hand, “may fate lead us to meeting again on a beautiful spring day.”
Irene nodded, waving goodbye as she exited the backstage area through the hidden exit where only staff, actors, and actresses may enter.
Lyney looked back and Lynette, who was unamused by her brother's behavior, asked, “Who’s the big fan now?” she sighed, turning around to check the magic show props once more.
Lyney laughed shyly, only realizing his fast heartbeat, going on his way to check on his props for his show.
bow divider by @/florietas
#𐙚˙ 📷 irene levasseur#𐙚˙ 📷 my ocs#𐙚˙ 📷 lynrene#oc x canon#canon x oc#oc x character#genshin impact oc#genshin oc#genshin lyney#oc x lyney#lyney x oc#original character#ocs#genshin impact lyney#genshin#genshin impact#lyney and lynette#fontaine siblings
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How would you rank your vids based on how much you like them?
Ah yes!! I can answer this one
The Many Adaptations of Berserk: I feel like it has to be this one as my fav. There’s parts of the video I wish I could redo (mainly the audio), but to put out such labor of love and have it receive such a positive response back, it’s so fulfilling. From people telling me it got them into Berserk to survivors messaging me to tell me how much the video meant to them. It’s a sense of pride and accomplishment that I never thought I’d ever feel with my art.
Spider-Man Musical: This, for me, feels like the prime example of what I want my channel to be: exploring relatively obscure things in a way that shows how strange they are while also taking it seriously and really examining them. As someone who has been fascinated with this musical for over a decade, finally finding a way to make an essay about it and letting people know about things like the spider fucking and the shoe song.
Dollar Store Game Show: I wish I could redo the audio here. God I wish I could redo the audio here. That being said, I’ve always seen this as the hidden gem of my channel, and whenever I talk to other creators, chances are this is the video of mine they bring up. The Facebook conspiracy “In Motion” part might be my favorite editing gag I’ve ever done
Demo Reel: I would’ve ranked this much lower if I hadn’t rewatched it a few weeks ago for the new Demo Reel vid. Despite some first time video mistakes that I would happily fix if I could, I think the script here is really solid and could have been way worse. I get why people like this one so much. I probably would’ve been really into this video if I wasn’t the one who made it. I still can’t believe I actually got away with the Evangelion intro gag.
Kitchen Nightmares: I started outlining this video back in my college days. I rewatched it about a month ago and my main note is that it feels like a video anyone could’ve made on Kitchen Nightmares, for better or for worse, and lacks a lot of the… personal energy I like to include in these things? But I still think it’s pretty solid. I also meant to include an entire segment on Nathan For You and just… forgot to lmao oops
The Return of Demo Reel: This one is still so new that I haven’t fully processed my feelings on it. This is probably the meanest video I’ve done so far lol I wasn’t sure how much the two halves would connect together, especially since it’s the only video I’ve done so far that isn’t broken up into segments but is rather scripted as one long thing. The stinger is my second favorite stinger I’ve ever done for the channel. I’m so glad that landed for people as I almost cut it entirely lol
The Cinemassacre Backlash: It feels weird to rank this one so low. I still am proud of the result, but I also think it has the same issue as Kitchen Nightmares where it’s like oh, anyone could’ve made that. I did like getting to interject my perspective into the discourse as someone who co-writes and makes online content and I have gotten a lot of praise for this one by my peers which has been nice. Having it blow up so much was wild and has definitely been a career benefit, even if I’m unsure if I’ll ever do a video like this again
Harley and Ivy: I don’t know why but I can’t help but feel like I could’ve made this one better. I’m not sure how, but it just feels like it exists to me. I actually didn’t even remember that I did the whole thing with the Be Gay, Do Crime scale until I saw it referenced on my TV Tropes page
Lost Film About Internet Memes: This one is fine but it sits in a lower place in my head for a lot of reasons. First being that a lot of personal life stuff surrounding the release and aftermath of the video. Second being my hatred of the original thumbnail and the belief that it tanked that video in a way it’s only now recovering from, which affected future business dealings and negotiations and algorithm stuff. Then the fact that this is the only time I’ve regretted going soft in one of my videos. I originally put more stuff in the script about how I believed the guy who made it was a grifter who seems to do a lot of scams but I changed it to make it more subtext and less of a personal attack and then in the aftermath of the vid it turns out, oops, this guy had a history of screwing people over and grifting and jumped into cryptocurrency because of course he did. I don’t think I’d ever revisit this subject, but if I had a time machine, I would’ve had way more testimonials in the vid from former PopMalt people.
Existential Horror Of Making Content About Content: The nicest thing I can say about this one is that it was the first time I ever made a thumbnail myself and I’m actually pleased with how it turned out, all things considered. Otherwise I can’t see myself ever watching this again
I hope it doesn’t sound like I’m too harsh on my own work lol I just have a unique relationship to it, I think. I’m generally proud of my videos, even if I do have issues with them as their creator.
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10.28 [ ghosts ]
Halloween is just 'round the corner, so this final Friday of fic recs means it's time for the list to expire, and to join the sheeted dead: it seems appropriate, then, to give over week 4 to ghosts. Sending out wishes to one and all for a splendid All Hallows' Eve, snug in the knowledge that the ghostly presence of 1895 continues to reappear in so many variations across the future, and, most compellingly of all, due to the fabulousness of fic writers and the gifts they bestow. 👻
previous weeks
10.21: most spine-chilling adversaries
10.14: occult transformations
10.7: tricks to treats
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~in order of word length~
The Haunting of 221B Baker Street by earlgreytea68 (2012), rated M, 10388 words.
We know from the start that: Sherlock hasn't survived the Reichenbach Fall; is very much a (spectral) presence; and is surreptitiously resident at 221B. Unaware of the latter two facts, John has decamped from Baker Street, but when Mrs. Hudson has trouble keeping tenants because they report the flat is haunted, he comes back to investigate. Experiencing a moment of emphatic ghostly dramatics convinces him that "if anyone was going to figure out how to be a ghost just to be a pain in everybody’s arse, it would be you" -- and he promptly moves back in. 221B is something like a deserted island in which two shipwrecked flatmates -- one alive and one not -- negotiate the perplexing terrain engendered by that great divide. The bittersweet premise starts out weighted more toward the bitter, although their journey through various forms of emotion (reminding me quite a bit of the film Inside Out) eventually delivers them with a never-to-be-forgotten rightness to the other end of the spectrum. A stunningly-executed love story that takes you on a deep dive into John's and Sherlock's personalities as revealed through their interpersonal dynamics -- which is why we read Johnlock fic, yeah? -- this is a fic that is supernaturally good, in all senses of the good word good.
podfic by magiccranberries
A Thousand Kisses Deep by Susan (2017), rated E, 12689 words.
This fic is such an exquisitely cut gem that it is thrilling (I guarantee that sentence will make perfect sense once you read the fic). A soul-satisfyingly second chances reversal of time narrative, in which a Sherlock who is old in body and spirit is informed by a ghostly visitor one sleepless night that a wish by John is being granted -- that is, if a Sherlock returned to 2010 can set things right. The incredible amount of readerly fun that results from following Sherlock's high-spirited romp as he makes his way through his gob-smacked deductions (about his reinstated younger body, about the perfection of his only consultant in the world London life, and in aid of his race to outwit the fates), brings about an equally incredible amount of heart-melting readerly rapture at the romantic entanglement that ensues. The different bits of call-and-response literary flourishes evoked in the text lend an already deeply-layered story an extra-dimensionality that goes beyond the temporal paradoxes. The epigraph to the story is from Leonard Cohen, and is a perfect distillation of the story that unfolds: And fragrant is the thought of you / The file on you complete / Except what we forgot to do / A thousand kisses deep.
podfic by podfixx
He's Coming To Us Dead by Vulgarweed (2014), rated E, 13397 words.
Part of the Bone Fiddle universe (but can be read alone), set in 1970s Appalachia, a place where enigmatic trouble-magnet Sherlock Holmes has drifted to, and to which Vietnam war vet John Watson has returned home. The two have semi-secretly taken up with each other in ways undeniably mutually satisfying, although the strain that possible apparitions place on their connection turns out to be scarier than the 'haints' themselves. This is a classic ghost story, steeped in local and Doylean lore (tragic love for the first, Baskervillean unease for the second). A fic full of questions answered and unanswered, in which Sherlock observes, "when we've eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable -- is still fucking impossible." Like everything in the BF universe, this is a totally absorbing ride through the ways in which Sherlock and John reveal themselves to each other and to us, indelibly inscribed in smart, funny, captivating prose that gives us an addictively realized picture of them.
De profundis by darcylindbergh (2017), rated M, 32036 words.
This is a charmer of a tale, sprung from the premise that since the age of 12 Sherlock has been able to see ghosts, and which uses that fact to ingeniously repurpose the elements of A Study in Pink in all kinds of clever ways. The ins-and-outs of what seems to be his singular ability to attract the attention of ghosts upends Sherlock's life, accompanied as he often is by the the dearly-departed-although-not-yet-gone, and the fic's depiction of his inventive interactions with them -- exasperated, yet tolerant and kind and gentle -- has a winning sui generis tone that is sweetly absurdist. The chief plot point hinges on Sherlock's uncertainty when he meets John Watson as to whether or not he's alive or dead, a question that is stubbornly resistant to resolution over the course of the next day as he and John become increasingly enamored with each other as they team up to tackle the serial suicides, leaving the reader with an enticing puzzle to try and solve before Sherlock does.
The Cost of a Wish by slashscribe (2015), rated E, 102493 words.
Since John Watson was a boy, he's had to contend with the terror that grips him due to the "formless spirits and ghosts that it seems only he can see," which press against him in threatening ways as a darkly massed cloud, chilling him to the bone, whenever he dares to venture outdoors. The desperation he feels one day suddenly lifts as he flees down a familiar street and ends up at the door of a building he's never seen there before. He tells the woman who opens the door that he has no idea why he's there, but the deep rumbling voice from the man at the top of the stairs gives him one word in reply: "Inevitable." Sherlock is the proprietor of a wish-granting shop, and the fascinating series of events that take place reveal the many mysteries of Sherlock, John, and the ways in which their lives have been entwined. The Sherlock series’ characters turn up in especially memorable ways, along with an enchanting cast from the Japanese manga the fic is fused with -- including what is the most ridiculously cute animal in all of Sherlock ficdom, a Pipe Fox spirit creature, whose mysterious nature brings John and Sherlock closer in many endearing ways.
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*fic reblog recruits, perhaps??? ❤️ @totallysilvergirl @blogstandbygo @mydogwatson @keirgreeneyes @helloliriels
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#johnlock#johnlock fic#sherlock fic recs#five fics friday#johnlock fic recs#sherlock fanfic#halloween#spooky season#reblogging :-) helps the love ❤️ go 'round xoxoxo
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Since you have watched DS9 , I'd be curious to hear your thoughts on the character Odo. I've been rewatching the series for the first time and I forgot how, well, authoritarian he is as Constable of Deep Space Nine. Its interesting wrinkle on his character, because he's a good guy and very endearing but there are many occasions where he steps over boundaries in his personal code of justice from looking through private messages to setting up cameras in suspicious residents rooms.
Odo is a gem of a character, made even more enjoyable by Rene Auberjonois's gruff, growly voice.
Odo occupies a niche in Star Trek similar to Spock or Data - the inhuman alien looking in on humanity. Odo is even more alien than the coldly logical Spock or the polite "actually, I am quite different from humanity due to X, Y, and Z" Data. Odo is a creature without even a solid shape, and when he takes one, his too-smooth face and rubbery features place him firmly in the uncanny valley. Garak may have his ridges, Quark the large ears and heavy brow, but both are recognizably human, particularly in their facial features. This unnatural appearance and expression is precisely what allows Odo to be, as his Cardassian contact mentions in "Improbable Cause", the "wry observer of humanoid folly." Unlike Data, who longs to be human warts and all, Odo's relationship with humanity is entirely more complex. He finds their preoccupation with biological romance off-putting (at first, anyway), but comes to admire individual actions and ethos, particularly those who have a strong sense of duty, like Sisko and O'Brien.
Odo is at first glance an inflexible control freak. He obsesses over order, and is infuriated when his furniture is even centimeters off of its place, though I'd wager that part of Odo's aversion to it is that he knows that Dax is coming into his quarters and moving them, as much a violation of order as the physical movement of the furniture was. This seems like it would mesh well with his chosen profession as chief of law enforcement on the station, but Odo is no Inspector Javert. Indeed, Odo's love of order is matched by his disdain for humanoid recordkeeping and Starfleet regulations. Odo's view on order is clear: he believes he knows order and knows best. Note that for Odo, "law" is often not the same as "order," as he experienced with the Cardassians who used their own legalese merely to enforce and maintain their own power. Even Starfleet's benign law is often frivolous and unnecessary; Starfleet should not require records because his memory is perfect and so Odo can dismiss it as a vain extravagance. This is precisely the result that leads to him spying on Quark's messages and installing hidden cameras - Odo knows he won't misuse the power and so it's perfectly fine for him. Of course, anyone who isn't Odo (like Bashir) would immediately call him out on this - it's a violation of their own conception of their rights, but Odo sees his order as excusing that. Odo is a perfect film noir private eye, he even gets his own Raymond Chandler episode in Necessary Evil and enjoys O'Brien's crime novels. While Odo is always willing to throw down, he actually dislikes killing (look at his expression when Kira, Garak, and Damar slaughter the Jem'Hadar crew in their attempts to get the Breen energy weapon), he only ever kills one being over the course of the series. Not only is it a racial taboo "no Changeling has ever harmed another," but it's the breaking of a deep personal taboo.
This order, however, is something genetic to Odo, imprinted upon the entire race by the Founders. It seems odd that a liquid being would instill a need for perfect order, but to the Founders, they saw it as necessary for the survival of their species. Only by subjugating all solids to their perfect order could they ensure their safety. Odo's experiences with the solids tempers him somewhat - he lets small fish go in pursuit of bigger fish, he allows Jadzia to have her bachelorette party even though it's violating a noise complaint, and so on. These deviations wouldn't be tolerated in the Dominion, a Vorta or Jem'Hadar that disobeyed was frequently killed; other beings were *nothing* to the Founders. They are openly supremacist in a way that even the Cardassian occupation would blanch at being. Even Odo himself is secondary, the Female Changeling frequently attempts to manipulate him via the Link with the Gowron-Martok plot and during the Call to Arms-Sacrifice of Angels plotline. This marks one of Odo's chief points of difference with the rest of the Founders, even with fellow Hundred Laas - he regards solids as equals and judges them as individuals on their own merits. Odo rejects the Founders for this very reason, when he sees what they have done to his friends in The Search, he cannot accept them - he is truly alone.
Loneliness is a core component of Odo's character. Odo is in a unique place in Star Trek lead character status, he is the only member of a completely unknown species. Data was a unique Soong-type android (until Lore came around making life hard for everyone), but less-sophisticated androids were around. Seven of Nine and Hugh were freed from the Borg Collective but the Borg were known, even if they were permanently hostilis sui generis. Odo, however, has to deal with the unbearable loneliness of being the only being of his race (at first). No other beings that he knows can change their forms or revert to a liquid state as he does. Later, when he experiences the Great Link, he finds a sense of completion which retroactively contextualizes his experiences in earlier seasons in a whole new light. The Founders spend a great deal of time merging form and thought with each other, making their own experiences and understandings part of each other. Moreover, this is, as the Female Changeling puts it, gives meaning to their existence, and is part of their natural state. No wonder Odo is so suspicious, so cagey of others, he is missing a key part of his ability to express himself!
Later, during Things Past, we see just how powerful this link is, it puts Dax, Sisko, and Garak into a telepathic dream state where they experience one of Odo's lingering regrets. There's the standard Trekkie techno-babble of Odo's morphogenic enzymes to set up the framing device, but really it was just window dressing for the episode to occur, dealing with Odo's past regrets. While the initial teaser of the episode states that Odo's only true master was "justice," Odo himself speaks evasively, refusing to take pride in his actions in the Cardassian occupation. Here we see exactly how brutal the occupation was and that Odo, despite his desire to mitigate the suffering, ended up being complicit in Cardassian injustice. The actions that he did weigh heavily upon him, they tarnish his self-conception with his higher virtue of order.
Poetically, it's actually chaotic, mess-with-his-furniture Dax that gives us insight into Odo's true loneliness in the episode Facets. When she separates with Curzon, putting his consciousness within the body of Odo, we get a true sense that Odo feels like he is just shuffling on and just how much Odo enjoyed living as Curzon, a man who was the life of the party. Unsurprisingly, this "implant Curzon into Odo" move is very much like the Great Link, so this reinforces Odo's sense of biological isolation by giving him the means by which he helps to overcome it. The ending of the episode is profound, Odo is happy that he could enjoy being a solid and be totally unlike himself, while Jadzia delights in having the memory of assuming a form, mirroring Odo's joy in the Search when he finally discovers the joy of assuming another form to the point where he cannot wait to tell Kira.
Later, at his lowest point, when the Great Link fixes his form and makes him a solid as punishment for killing a fellow changeling, Odo feels lost and adrift. Even if he was alone, his shapeshifting formed a key part of his identity as a Changeling, it was a part of who he was. When selected to travel to Ty'Gokor in Klingon disguise, he believes that he's being brought along out of pity for his new state, but it's Odo who discovers that Martok is the real Changeling infiltrator, and he does it not through his shapeshifting powers but his well-honed skills of deduction, developed over years of acting as a Constable. That helps give him purpose, and he begins to take on his new life, if not with glee, than with acceptance. He even begins reading up on how to attract a mate, a far cry from the aloof Changeling who was baffled by humanoid mating rituals.
These moments of empathy really do make a noticeable change in Odo and better him. He enjoys working with O'Brien and shares a fascination with crime fiction. However, there are two relationships that Odo engages in that really do show the type of man he is, and they deal with ways that these characters help break Odo's isolating loneliness. The first is with Garak, a man that Odo would be predisposed to despise - he is dishonest, underhanded, and endlessly verbose to Odo's laconic nature. Yet in the Improbable Cause-The Die is Cast two-part episode (one of my all-time favorite Star Trek episodes), the two are forced into cahoots as the Romulans attempt to assassinate Garak. The two play well off each other, but Odo gets the better of Garak when he asserts that Garak blew up his own shop, seeing through the layers of obfuscation that Garak was throwing up but not quite sure why. Garak sees Odo as a worthy opponent, the equal of Bashir across the lunch table, but the episode takes a much darker turn. Garak rejoins Enabran Tain and the Obsidian Order, and his first task is to extract information from Odo. When banter fails, Garak relies on a quantum device that fixes Odo's form, causing him to literally begin to rot and fall apart like old cloth. Garak pleads with Odo to give him some information, even if he has to lie, and Odo eventually confesses he wishes he was part of the Link again, even if the Founders themselves are something that Odo rejects. He wants home, the sense of belonging. Garak, aware of how important this facet of Odo's knowledge is, keeps it within himself, willing to falsely confess to failure rather than betray Odo. In the end, Odo saves Garak's life even as Garak failed to rescue Enabran, and the two converse in the wreckage of his old tailor shop. Odo tells Garak that he appreciates leaving Odo's desire to return home out of the reports, and offers to have breakfast with him on occasion. Odo knows that Garak's lunch outings with Bashir are one of the few social outings he has that gives him comfort and offers to share one as well, despite the fact that he doesn't eat. Odo recognizes Garak as someone who is likewise isolated from home and reaches out to give him comfort, even after what he did. Odo knows Garak doesn't really deserve forgiveness but gives it anyway and in a way that is neither patronizing nor unearned. That moment shows how far Odo has come as a character, where he sees the pain of another and does what he can to help, in his own way. A far cry then, from the "wry observer of humanoid folly.”
Obviously, no discussion of Odo's empathy and relationships can be complete without Kira. From the first the two have obvious working respect for each other's skill and competence, albeit some reservations definitely exist with Odo's collaboration with the Cardassians and Kira's resistance activity (in Things Past and Necessary Evil). However, something deeper does begin to blossom between them. We don't have an exact time where this starts, but I think it's after finding the Founders. Kira helped him on his way home, and that's where his one-sided feelings begin to develop. It causes him agony when Kira asks for help with Bareil or Shakaar, but Odo does what he can to help her because Kira's happiness is of great interest to him. By Heart of Stone, Odo has to reconcile with the fact that he gave up the Link for Kira, and when he is a solid, he even starts trying to adjust as well as he can. Yet Kira's relationships end in pain, Bareil wastes away and the Prophets tell her that Shakaar and her don't have a future. Odo doesn't want to hurt her or jeopardize the station by dating her, but also Kira has to wrestle with the time paradox world that Odo destroyed, a guilt that weighs on her with her view of pre-destination at the hands of the Prophets. Yet when they finally do come together with some help from Vic Fontaine, their relationship is characterized by their attempts to share what they can of each other. Odo asks for an Orb experience, hoping to share in Kira's faith, but Kira tells him faith has to come first, something difficult for the skeptical Odo (and godliness is hard enough given that his people are seen as gods via extensive genetic manipulation and addiction to ketracel-white). Perhaps one of the most romantic short scenes in Star Trek comes at the end of Chimera, where Odo returns to Kira, and she mourns that she cannot link with him due to biological incapability. Odo, taking what he learned from Laas, transforms himself into the physical sensation of the Link, a warm light that surrounds and envelops Kira. That's true romantic love, where you do what you can for your partner instead of dwelling on what you can't.
When Odo is infected with the morphogenic plague, his fears come true. He remembers how hard watching Bareil waste away in Life Support was for Kira, and now he was doing the same thing. He demands Garak to secrecy, not wanting to inflict pain on her. Kira, however, knows, but she respects Odo's wishes enough to pretend to be ignorant. It's a sobering thing in a relationship, when one party is dying and there's nothing that can be done, and so making peace with that however you can is a difficult and painful part of any relationship. It works out, thanks to a weird mind adventure with Bashir and O'Brien, but the cost of the salvation of the Founders is their relationship. Kira knows that she can't stop Odo from returning to the Link (she herself having been the victim of the brutal Cardassian occupation knows first hand what facing genocide is like), not just to cure them but to share his love of Kira with the Founders, to change their mind about the solids and turn them from the path of the Dominion. When he leaves, he tells her that he'll miss then all, even Quark, and at his last action, transforms into a tuxedo, his appearance in His Way, and leaves, doing the right thing even though it crushes their hearts. In the end, Odo's character still did the just thing, but was a richer man for it. An excellent character, excellently acted.
Thanks for the question, Anon.
SomethingLikeALawyer, Hand of the King
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Now Watching: Alice in Wonderland...s...
Some stories are truly timeless. A great story is one that lives on no matter what time its being retold or what “costume” it wears. Like, have you ever heard that the disney movie Oliver and Company is the play Oliver? But we are not talking about cats or boys, we are talking about Alice!
Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carrol
Written in 1865, man that was almost 200 years ago. It gained its first fame as a child’s story of morals. There is literally a genre of books for “nonsense books” because of this, and that is amazing. Over the years this has been analyzed and loved.
Alice in Wonderland (2010)
Film made by Tim Burton in 2010, it is the perfect story for his strange touch to bring to life. With a sequel to boot, made in 2016 called “Alice Through The Looking Glass”. P!nk did some great songs for this film. If you want to see this classic story as a film, this is a great way to see it.
Alice (2009)
This is a 2 part TV Mini Series brough to you by Syfy. This is honestly one of my favorite versions of this story. The Sci-fi touch adds almost a cyberpunk touch to this and really, do you see that Hatter? This is one of the rare gems I always rewatch on DVD (yeah those ancient things are still around) and it runs almost 4 hours in viewing I think. Totally worth it though. The more original but keeping to what makes the classic story classic that I have really seen.
Alice in Borderland (2020)
A japanese manga brought to life on the big screen based on the ideas of an 1800′s book in the 21st century. One of the things I love that this is shot and feels like a manga but its live action. Nothing against cartoons but depending on the cartoon style, and how one feels about it, the story could stand no chance of being viewed if you don’t like the style. This stays true to the original story in its overall big picture perspective but it makes you question things, in ways I wish some other remakes would. Second season is out this year, with hopefully a 3rd on the way in the future.
Whether you are looking for a movie, or two movies, a mini series, or a full blown couple of seasons...there are so many versions of this classic story to watch! There is an animated Alice in Wonderland from Disney made in 1951, which I swear I have seen but its been years I forgot about it when making the body of this post! For your researching pleasure, I found a full list...SILENT FILM VERSION YALL! Full list here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Films_and_television_programmes_based_on_Alice_in_Wonderland What version do you next watch?
#rant#pixabay#alice in wonderland#tim burton#alice through the looking glass#sequel#now watching#movie buff in training#alice#syfy#tv mini series#alice in borderland#netflix#lewis carroll#highly recommend#disney
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Ohhhh, I'm so jealous you could go to a cup sleeve event! The closest one to me is almost 4 hours away. 😂 It's amazing that there was so many people! Ahhh, our Ateez are famous~! ✨
The lack of Korean fans blows my mind every single time I think about it. They have been so beloved globally from day one (and even before day one) but they still don't have that in their own country. It's insane! I'm glad they've embraced the 'global idol' title though. Everytime i hear it in an interview intro I'm like 'at least Korea knows they're truly loved elsewhere'. But the way they do sooooo much for K-tiny and still can't get the traction. It's crazy. No one is doing more.
Guerilla is such a good MV! What a great introduction! And it sounds so cool~ I really love that their songs span genres. I feel like there must be four or five different styles in Halazia alone. (Also, I agree. I'm typically not into summery, softer songs or slower ballads. But I actively listen to all of Ateez's songs. In fact, some of my consistent faves fit right into this category!)
Their story/lore is incredible. Sometimes I feel like I understand everything less than most of the members (😂) but I'm alllll about it! It's so cool that they have this one arc. That it's been the same story this whole time. Truly amazing. Concept kings. I'm gonna need a film one day. It's all so cinematic and intriguing.
Ateez, Stray Kids, and Taemin is an AMAZING (and very tempting) line up. But you should definitely hold out. Because then you get to see Ateez for 3 hours and that's 🥰🥺. And you know they actually know what a 'world tours' is. So, it's just a waiting game!
I saw them in London. It's always London for me!
Yessss, I did see the stats! They're grown so much, even in six months. And the first day sales looked amazing! I've been streaming on Spotify and having a great old time. Really, Atiny have done so well. Especially with buying passes for Korean platforms. It was so cute when Wave was number one because everyone was practicing. 🥺
I hope voting goes well and they win most of the music show awards they'll be up for. I want them to see that their efforts pay off at home!
Haha I don't know what questions you'd even ask me really. Best livestream where they were all decending into madness? The best Seonghwa third wheeling Woosan vlive? The closest Hongjoong came to just being DONE with looking after the 99s? 😂😂 Yessss, I'm always ready to chat Ateez tbh. They're the only group I've kept up with the whole time. 🧡
Have you watched their Treasure Film series/show on YouTube yet? I was rewatching it the other day and I forgot how much I love it! So gooood! And funny! 😂
Ah this took ages to answer lol - sorry; I was rearranging my room this weekend 🙃 and my app never notifies me of asks.
Anyways, yeah the cupsleeve was so nice. I'm lucky to live on one side of a pair of decently sized cities with a diverse population here, so we get a handful of nice events (one of the local gay bars hosts a kpop night monthly, for example).
I've been to a cupsleeve for Taemin, Stray Kids, and then I helped my friend host one for OnlyOneOf - they were all really fun but did not even begin to prepare me for the intensity of the Ateez one. I was baffled; the Skz one was held at the same location and it was a graveyard by comparison. I didn't take many pictures bc I was caught up chatting and there was no way to take them without a ton of people in the photo lol - but these are the few from the event;
I agree with you, regarding the global idol title; I think it's really well deserved and is serving them well. They really deserve more notice in KR though; it sucks that they get overlooked just bc of not being a Big 4; if anything people should pay more attention since those are the hidden gems, you know?
Bouncy has a kpop sort of vibe to it though, moreso than some of the other title tracks of theirs I've heard, so hopefully folks pay a little more attention this time around. I heard they got their first win for Bouncy this morning though! So that's something positive.
Halazia was unbelievable; I was impressed when I heard it and even moreso when I saw the m/v. I finally sat down and listened to their entire discography this weekend while doing cleaning and realized I genuinely can't find a skip song with them for the most part. 😭
Also yes!! 100% on a movie - this would make an amazing full length film or hell, even a miniseries; it's such a complex and well written storyline. I'm mad I didn't pick up the diary version of Outlaw bc I need to know what happens next. (I have all 3 versions coming but they won't be here for a while bc they're being sent with my albums from SHINee's comeback at the end of June; I could only afford one of their albums from the store here bc they were so much more expensive than they are in the KR shop I use. >.<)
Seeing the way atiny treat the group and each other and work together is so heartwarming. It's interesting, to have it be largely on the international fans' shoulders to push them to the spotlight in both the wider world and KR; but the teamwork is super fun to see. I haven't been this actively involved in a kpop fandom since I quit doing it for my og group (just stuck mostly to the sidelines, reblogging pretty pictures, etc for my other groups) - but I'm enjoying it so much more so far; I don't feel the same kind of guilty pressure that I've felt elsewhere.
They have so much content too holy - I've been trying to catch up and I feel like I haven't even scraped the surface yet lol - Every time I think I've managed to finish one section I realize there's x or y other things I missed lol. I did not even know the Treasure Film series existed until you mentioned it 😂 - but it looks like M2 did it; I love the games/variety type shows that company has done, so I'm eager to watch it! Thank you for mentioning it!
Rn I'm working my way through Wanteez between the new stuff for these promotions; these guys have done so many variety series jfc lol.
Also Woosan. Bless those two. They are so dumb. I love them so much. I would like to point out, that I did not want them. I specifically pointed out San to my friend when we watched Guerrilla and said "anyone but that one". (He startled me by resembling someone in an unsettling way when I first glanced at him and I didn't like it lol - he doesn't resemble said person now that I recognize them all tho thankfully).
But I apparently had no say in him, since he was the one that kept sticking out in everything and his personality is exactly what I gravitate to in a bias (the big oaf with a loud mouth and a heart of gold, always a little confused but he's got the spirit, scary duality) -- normally I do find a second bias within a few months that vibes with my first, but I didn't even get a say in that since not only did San tell me 'no, I'm right here and you're going to pay attention to me', he did it while dragging that scrappy little devil along by the hand V_V I couldn't just adopt him without Woo. (I was quite disgruntled about that one too - I don't bias visuals or dancers dammit - I have avoided them in most of my groups so far.
Plus! Where's my rapper bias??? I thought I'd add HJ as my second but nope, instead I get the 'friends as far as the altar' Tom and Jerry pair and 6 bias wreckers since none of them can stay in their damn lane for more than a few minutes at a time. 😂 (My friend said that'd happen tho so I can't say I wasn't warned).
(Do you have a bias btw? A favorite mv or performance I (likely) may have missed?)
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'Valentine’s Day has come and gone – and I’m willing to bet plenty of dinner-and-a-movie evenings were had here. Kinepolis offered some pretty standard fare, while Cinénmathèque screened some classics. But one recent release, All of Us Strangers, is a different sort of romance.
I sympathise with those who may have accidentally seen it on the most romantic day of the year – especially if they forgot to bring a box of tissues to this ghostly, eminently atmospheric story of loss.
Two of the British Isles’ brightest shining stars, Andrew Scott and Paul Mescal, feature here as sad-faced lovers who found each other in a hopeless place. Both have delivered stellar performances in recent years; Mescal’s role as a young, single father in Aftersun raked in the accolades, while Scott’s still-running one-man-show Vanya demonstrates his multifaceted talent.
For the two, each a powerful performer in his own right, to come together like this seems only logical. Based on the 1987 novel Strangers by Taichi Yamada, it follows a lonely screenwriter named Adam (Scott) as he develops an intimate relationship with the only other tenant in his vast apartment complex, Harry (Mescal).
The two co-exist in a sort of urban limbo state. London might be this sprawling metropolis, and the 21st century might be one of endemic interconnection. But both are going through a lived experience familiar to many: wasting away in their flats, they spend their days working, watching TV, and drinking on their own.
It’s an atmosphere that immediately feels pertinent. Harry drunkenly knocks on Adam’s door one night – a move motivated by booze and loneliness – but Adam raises his psychic walls and blows him off. Adam, once again gripped by loneliness, visits his childhood home. But instead of finding it empty or occupied by new tenants, he’s met by his deceased parents, seemingly as they were some 30 years ago.
All of Us Strangers, through and through, is an exercise in hazy, hallucinatory atmosphere that should send shivers down your spine but doesn’t. Adam’s day-to-day world is isolated and pensive and existential – but as we so often do, he never allows himself to properly linger on these facts, preferring to simply sleepwalk through life.
But underneath his life of city lights and writing and late night TV, memories of his parents suddenly take corporeal form. Just as with his day-to-day, his encountering his dead parents doesn’t shake him, either, doesn’t suddenly wake him from his lived dream state.
The wonderfully executed atmosphere, in other words, isn’t only manifest in lighting and indirect perspectives, but in Scott’s careful, deliberately understated performance. He doesn’t question the seemingly unreal aspects of his life; he just goes with it.
Harry’s entrance into Adam’s hypnagogic world thus seems a little bit too real. Mescal complements Scott’s performance in this respect; where Scott is bleary-eyed and just a little sullen, Mescal betrays a similar loneliness beneath his nevertheless natural charm.
But Adam’s unreality starts to unwind as his visits to his dead parents and blossoming relationship with Harry become metaphysically mixed up. He routinely blacks out and wakes up either next to his lover or in his deceased parents’ bed. When he tries to connect his living and dead loved ones, his mental state unwinds, too.
In the process, you can feel All of Us Strangers really winding up the final gut punches like Popeye after a can of spinach. It’s a blissful, half-awake state that can’t last; the narrative is setting you up for tragedy. The first of the film’s twin tyings of the bow is all-too predictable; the latter, all the more heart wrenching, feels like being kicked while you’re already down.
It’s not that All of Us Strangers is bleak or depressing or dreary. Rather, it’s a fresh look at how life can simply pass by; how things happen, then pass, and finally fade into the background. Carried entirely by Scott and Mescal – who’ve seemingly mastered the art of hiding pain behind grins – the prevailing mode is atmosphere as diagnosis.
Loneliness in the age of megacities and social media can be tricky to fully articulate. But All of Us Strangers, more like a sleepwalk on a hazy Sunday afternoon, highlights how despite the world’s interconnectivity, we’re just as liable to end up rotting away in some flat sooner or later. In All of Us Strangers, this point is made quite explicitly.
Further, and perhaps more broadly, it’s a beacon of the current wave of British and Irish film that are diagnostic in tone and theatrical in execution. All of Us Strangers could well have been a play on the West End (although Scott’s Vanya is still selling a lot of seats) and as such fits right in with films like Aftersun and Banshees of Inisherin and Saltburn – all poignant and tragic and dramaturgical in their own way.
So unless you’ve had a really great Valentine’s, seen the perfect movie and shared a lovely dinner, do go into this one prepared. It’ll hit you with the classic one-two gut punch that’ll leave you reeling long after.'
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So I watched three James Somerton videos in my life. One was about The Owl House, one was about Luca and Falcon and The Winter Soldier (it was a video using both to illustrate how disney uses gay tropes to tell straight stories or something... i think? this guy's points manage to always be so muddled while absolute) and another I clicked not knowing what it was about based on title and then it turned out to be about M. Night Shyamalan's recent film I did not care about or had intentions see and didn't care I got spoiled.
So I didn't keep up with this guy and just moved on to watch videos from other creators or just plain fell off of watching videos when my life was falling apart. I forgot about him for the most part, but some of the things I remembered being iffy was as with iilluminaughtii (who at the time I watched James videos, I didn't know was plagiarizing from other mlm expose youtube creators and more thought she was lazily reading from articles that are other people's works for sure) had way too many videos pumped out in a short time of many media I feel it suspicious to consume and make long videos about. Another was his insistence TOH cancelation is on Bob Chapek's shoulders, that Hunter and Gus will be canon... There's the doublespeak he'd use that makes him come off as racist, aphobic and anti trans men and enbyphobic in the guise of old fashioned misogyny that's totes okay when a gay man says it... Just a lot of red flags I hoped he'd grow out of and do better if he wanted to stay in this game, but I was done watching his content. Instead he kept getting away with it, his subscribers grew, he kept stealing and plagiarizing and being all the things that set off alarm bells in my head and now we're here with a whole dossier of transgressions against many smaller creators. I hope he never comes back online as a content creator and stays in obscurity tbh. I hope the same for iilluminaughtii, but she's not stopped dragging her fight against her victims yet.
So my moral of the story here is, if a video essayist is pumping out too many videos, if their delivery is opaque, but said in absolutes, if their asides scream alarm bells of bigotry, then listen to yourself and don't doubt it, click away. Yes it's hard finding the buried gems on the platform who won't lie to you, spread historical disinformation, moralize with bigotry or steal other people's hard work. It is so tempting to just passively watch easy recced videos on a topic one cares about, but isn't an expert in. It is easy to believe if so many people watch this creator who speaks with an authoritive voice, calls out and finger wags a moralizing tone at the big guys, has even a bit of bite to them that makes them more than just a stodgy, dry fact checker, and all those watchers, subscribers, thumbs ups and algorithms mustn't be wrong right? Unfortunately they often are and it sucks. Let it be a lesson in curating your experience actively and not passively when you have energy and many of us are so tired it's a lot to ask, I know. Many of us will throw things in on the background and let the next video play while we're working or trying to sleep. I know I lost my energy to do what I'm asking others to do, but I should still do more to be vigilant anyway, let's all try.
#and maybe not beat ourselves up if hbomberguy ever fucks up#creators aren't gods and they are not our gurus or friends
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For the movie asks :)
12. Which movie has your favorite soundtrack?
and/or
8. Has a film ever made you extremely angry?
but more specifically -> angry not as in 'this movie was so bad/offensive it made me angry' or 'this movie covers a topic that is itself infuriating' but instead 'this movie made me feel things i don't know how to articulate, not even to myself, and it enrages me so much i feel like im chewing glass whenever i think about it'
HELLO SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO ANSWER THIS i completely forgot i got this ask augh.
12. Which movie has your favorite soundtrack?
oh EXCELLENT question!!!! there are soooooo many film soundtracks I love it's very hard to choose. i love hans zimmer's scores for the lion king and the prince of egypt (idk what it was about 90s animated movies that motivated hans zimmer to write the most gorgeous scores of all time but i'm glad it did) and the prince of egypt is also probably my favourite movie musical and I adore the songs for it.
I'm also a big fan of michael abels' soundtracks for us and especially nope!!! I spent so much time listening to the nope soundtrack while working last year it's so wonderfully atmospheric. speaking of which little women 2019 is another film score i love listening to while working... which is probably not a great idea bc it also makes me Very Emotional
OH AND ACROSS THE SPIDERVERSE!!!!! EVERY TIME GWEN OR MIGUEL'S THEMES KICK IN DEAR GOD
8. Has a film ever made you extremely angry?
ok i gotta admit I don't know if I have a good answer for this one. I've definitely watched some films that made me angry bc they were so bad, but I don't think I've ever experienced a film making me angry bc it brought up too many feelings.
maybe the closest comparison I could make is birdboy the forgotten children. it's definitely the film i most distinctly remember making me feel things I couldn't really properly articulate, but I wouldn't say it made me angry! in fact it's one of my favourite films!! (sidenote - I would strongly recommend checking out birdboy if you can - it's an absolutely gorgeous and heartwrenching spanish animated sci fi/horror/fantasy film that I think is just. SUCH an underrated gem)
oh also maybe my feelings on captain fantastic come close? I don't think it's a bad film by any means but dear LORD does it dredge up a lot of feelings I have about how kids get treated by their parents and in society and I feel a lot of. very complicated things about it.
thank you so much for the ask sorry again for taking such a long time to answer it flkjsfjsljkdf
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i just found out that hidden figures was directed by a white guy, which is sort of disappointing. i was wondering if you could recommend some cool directors who are black women? (besides ava duvernay and regina king) thank you!!
Oh thank you for this great question! There are more amazing directors who are black women working than ever before and they really don't get enough love:
My modern indie darlings:
Victoria Mahoney director of Yelling to the Sky , Channing Godfrey Peoples (who did the underrated and beautiful Miss Juneteenth), Shatara Michelle Ford director of Test Pattern (this really tiny and powerful indie that really blew me away recently). Garrett Bradley who works in documentaries and whose movie Time was nominated for an Oscar, Mati Diop (Atlantics).
More mainstream directors:
Dee Rees (Pariah, Mudbound and Bessie are all excellent), Stella Meghie who has been called a black Nancy Meyers. Really loved her debut Jean of the Joneses, Amma Asante (who did Belle, duh). Gina Prince-Bythewood (all her movies are great but I particularly love Beyond the Lights), Angela Robinson (D.E.B.S. is great! Watch D.E.B.S.)
Older directors and by older I mean women who directed movies pre- 2000, most of these women are still alive and not that old:
Safi Faye (her movies are really hard to track down but if you can find it Mossane is beautiful), Kathleen Collins (Losing Ground, the background of how this movie was lost and then "found" is worthy of a movie itself), Julie Dash (Daughters of the Dust), Cheryl Dunye (The Watermelon Woman, a cinema lover's dream of a movie), Kasi Lemmons (Eve's Bayou), Leslie Harris (Just Another Girl on the I.R.T.), Darnell Martin (I Like It Like That).
Anyway these are just a few to get you started, I'm sure I forgot a ton of great ones. Support black women in film! So many gems that will blow your mind!
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Raya and the Last Dragon: The Importance of Water in Southeast Asia
Disclaimer: The following is from the perspective of a Filipino SEA. Please feel free to add or edit from other perspectives. There are *spoilers* below.
Though Raya and the Last Dragon has its flaws, what it did well, it did really well. Out of every cultural reference that I spotted in this film, the one that stood out the most was the portrayal of water.
In the end credits song, Lead the Way, originally sung in English by Jhené Aiko, there is one lyric that stands out as a nod to this culture of water:
There's an energy in the water
There is magic deep in our heart
There's a legacy that we honor
When we bring the light to the dark
Whatever brings us together
Can nevеr tear us apart
We becomе stronger than ever
There are beautiful views of bodies of water in the movie, and scenes that deliberately look over them. But, it’s much more than that.
The geography of SEA is already so rooted with water. The lands that make up the region are either located on a peninsula and cut through with rivers, or made up of hundreds of islands in the middle of the ocean.
So, let’s talk about water in SEA and in this movie. Below is an in-depth analysis of the cultural significance of water whether it is rain, rivers, oceans, or mythological aspects alluded to in the film.
Nagas and other myths
Let’s start with mythology because this is the basis of much of Raya and the Last Dragon. I want to first point out that this is not an opinion post, so I will not be touching much on my opinions on how the dragons looked like. (TLDR: Disney could’ve done better.)
So many myths in SEA are connected to water besides the dragons, but let’s focus on those.
I did mention briefly about naga and water dragons in my long analysis post on the final international trailer. However, I will go in a little deeper here.
Naga
The dragons in this movie are based on the SEA version of a dragon. More specifically a sea serpent or a water serpent. They don’t breathe fire. In fact, they have nothing to do with fire. Their powers all influence water (and sometimes create earthquakes). Their powers include typical influence over water, creating rain, causing winds, and shape-shifting.
They are incredibly powerful and revered. Sometimes they are even seen as deities like the Bakunawa in the Philippines.
In RATLD, these nagas have a long horn at the front most prominent in Thai and Laotian versions of nagas. They are scaly and might have a kind of crown on their head, or gold jewelry around them. In most portions of SEA, nagas don’t have legs. It looks like the dragons here were partially inspired by an East Asian dragon or maybe the Vietnamese dragon. Other depictions can have them with multiple heads.
Nagas also appear in South Asian culture.
Here’s a quote from my initial long analysis post to add to this:
Naga are so important within SEA cultures that we have multiple places (and a river) named after them all over SEA and particularly a few times in the Philippines.
What I can tell you is mostly the Philippine version, but a naga is a serpentine creature that lives deep in the ocean, and are often associated with water. Sometimes they are depicted as having the upper half of a woman.
...
In the southern islands of the Philippines, depictions of naga are seen carved throughout buildings, particularly on roofs. A typical dance movement where you keep your hands curved and your fingers bent toward yourself is called “naga hands�� and is supposed to be reminiscent of a naga’s graceful claws.
Bakunawa
Just to highlight why nagas are so revered, I’m going further into the myth of Bakunawa. Specifically, the Bakunawa story comes from around the Visayas and Bicol regions of the Philippines which is south of the main island of Luzon.
Bakunawa is said to be a giant sea dragon with a mouth as large as a lake. It lives deep in the ocean and has influence over the sea and earthquakes, in the depths of the underworld.
There are a few versions of the story including that the Bakunawa is a naga that was enthralled by the beauty of the 7 moons and ate them until there was only 1 left.
In some versions the god Bathala stopped Bakunawa from devouring the last moon. In other versions, the people down below made loud noises with pots and pans to scare Bakunawa from eating it. There are also another version in which the Bakunawa was once a beautiful goddess.
It is also known as a man-eater in other tales. There are similar versions of a giant serpent or dragon-like bird causing eclipses (whether lunar or solar) in other parts of the Philippines.
Rain
I can’t tell you how important rain is in SEA. It’s not that it never rains, but that it rains a lot. Much of SEA is rainforests, which is an attribute that contributes so the rich biodiversity.
In RATLD, rain is depicted as a positive event...because it is. Raya and her friends are shown happy and laughing when Sisu makes rain. Sure, rain can be bad. Too much of it comes with typhoons and floods, but rain means a lot more than the bad things.
But enough rain means that the rivers aren’t dried out. Take the desert region of Kumandra for example. Raya goes there to the end of a dried up river. At the end when the dragons all come back, rain falls and the river is alive again. The people in that region can prosper again.
Rain symbolizes new life
Now, this story I’m about to tell you is completely from oral tradition and was passed down to me by a culture bearer from from the island of Mindanao in the Philippines.
This person said that when they were young, they did not have to worry about buying food because it was always available around them. If it rained, that was a good thing because it meant that the next day when the grass was damp, there would be mushrooms sprouting that they could pick. (There is an umbrella dance coming from this region that depicts mushrooms popping up after a storm.) If it was windy from the rain, it meant that there were fruit that would shake out of the trees.
Rain also means food will grow. Staples like rice need a lot of water. Rice paddies need to be to be constantly flooded so that they can grow, and water means food whether it is in the form of rain, rivers, or the ocean. It means fresh drinking water and abundance.
Nagas and rain
Remember how above I said that nagas can influence rainfall? Well, Sisu does just that in this movie. She says that one of her siblings originally had this power, and Sisu gained it because she came into contact with a piece of the dragon gem.
This adds to the positivity of rain because nagas are already so revered because of the magic they can do in the movie (and in mythology), that the people that witness it are in absolute awe.
Rivers
Besides the ocean, rivers are the heart of SEA. From the Mekong River that runs through 5 SEA countries including Vietnam, Myanmar, Laos, Thailand, and Cambodia, to the UNESCO site of the underground river in Palawan, Philippines...rivers are just part of the lay of the land.
They are shown to be all of those things in RATLD. There are streams and tributaries that flow into mountains and underground where the dragon gem was originally hidden in Heart. Additionally, there is the incredibly long river that separates the land in the shape of a dragon that flows through all the regions of Kumandra, reminiscent of the Mekong.
Rivers are so important that there is even a region in the Philippines called Pampanga that is named after the Tagalog translation of the word “river” seen in the first part of the region’s name, “pampang.” They are the people of the river.
There are whole fishing villages throughout SEA that are built on a river. In fact, there’s one in RATLD.
Rivers are a source of many things, including food and drinking water. When there is a flood during wet season, the land will be full of silt, making the land prime for planting.
I don’t have to tell you how important a water dragon is at this point, but the fact that the movie chose to have that be the shape of the river is significant because nagas live in rivers too.
Transportation
This should be a no-brainer, but in case you forgot, rivers mean boats. Boats mean people will want to get around and trade. And, boat culture is so important in SEA.
There are all kinds of boats in the region from the huge deep-water kind, to the fishing boats, to thin canoe-like ones, to coracles. You can see them especially showcased in the river town in Tail in Kumandra.
Oceans
Honestly, there wasn’t much about the sea in RATLD, but it’s important to note because nagas in and of themselves have origins in the ocean as well.
The sea is another very important core of SEA culture. Its waters are more unforgiving than rivers, and more unpredictable. Magical, mythological sea creatures tend to be more violent here, and will only be kind to those who are kind first.
In island nations like the Philippines and Indonesia, the people rely on the ocean for so many things. Especially if they live right on the water, some can be fantastic swimmers and can dive and fish for their own food. The ocean is respected, and it is feared.
Though there is no explicit ocean in RATLD, there are elements from port cities and towns that exist including the deep-water boats. In the movie and in SEA, seafood is important.
There’s a scene where Raya and Sisu meet Boun and he offers them shrimp congee. Shrimp is a popular food in SEA, and can be seen in many dishes besides congee or any rice-based dishes.
In the river town, we also see elements of passing fish baskets through the water after a day of fishing, and eating and buying fresh foods to cook later in a water-side market.
Irrigation
It’s pretty obvious that water is needed for irrigation, but just think about how earlier I pointed out how deeply water is utilized. Much of the food in SEA needs water to survive, a lot more than in landlocked countries.
Rice terraces
Remember rice? It needs a heck ton of irrigation in order to survive. This means a lot of rain and a lot of soil cultivating. If you take a look at the rice terraces that surround Fang, and even the picture of more overgrown terraces next to the river in the transportation section of this analysis, you can see that rice paddies are supposed to be flooded.
Rice terraces are all over Asia, but there are so many of them in SEA that are ancient and still work including the Tagalalang rice terraces in Bali, Indonesia and the Banaue rice terraces in Banaue, Philippines.
Honestly I could talk about the importance of rice and water for ages. Sure, rice is a staple in all of Asia, not just in SEA, but in East Asia as well. However, I would argue that it is even more of a staple in SEA.
Sure, there are noodle dishes, and bread, but rice is so ridiculously important that in the Philippines, it’s not considered a real meal if there is no rice. There is even a word for food eaten with rice, “ulam.”
In fact, in the entire movie, I don’t think I can recall one eating scene in which the characters are not also eating rice with their food. Unless of course, it’s just a snack like fruit. (Maybe there was a stew only scene?)
There is a scene towards the beginning of the movie when Raya asks Namaari, “Stew or rice?” when asking which she would prefer. Namaari never answers the question, but she says that it is her first time eating rice in a while. Though it’s never explicitly said, it could be implied that it is because they did not have as much rainwater for irrigation at the time.
Protection
I’ve talked about rivers and the ocean, but I haven’t talked about water as a barrier. Though water as a barrier isn’t an infallible one, it is still important to note.
Protecting from intruders
SEA is separated by water. It is also a region that had wars within their own countries in pre-colonial times, and of course, when they were colonized. (Though shout out to Thailand for being lucky in that regard. It remains the only country in SEA not colonized by Europeans.)
There were wars between chiefs in the Philippines, and often they had to traverse the ocean or cross bodies of waters to get to the lands they needed to fight on. It ended up becoming a process with a lot of planning. Though SEAs are people of the water, they obviously can’t breathe under it.
Nagas here are also important because in RATLD they are seen as powerful, respected protectors. And of course, they are borne of the water.
If you take a look at the picture above, it shows that part of the movie when the water starts disappearing because Sisu disappears. As the last water dragon, her connection to the water was keeping the land alive. With Sisu gone, so was the water, and therefore the protection for the people. The Druun spirit came in with no more hindrances because there was no water to stop them.
The power of the water and the magical energy of the water dragon really showcased itself here.
Interconnectedness
SEA used to be an interconnected region that traded with each other. Of course, not that SEA countries don’t trade now, but it isn’t at the same level as before. The borders now were created after centuries of colonialization.
Water is what connected all the countries of SEA.
Just take a look at the map of SEA above (in red). There is no other region of the world that’s quite like this, except maybe Oceania and around the Mediterranean. It’s relatively easy for these countries and people to trade and share cultures and traditions with one another. Manila, Philippines and the Tondo region was once one of the most frequented ports in SEA. Trade was done with China, India, Africa, and the Middle East. The same kind of trade occurred in other SEA countries as well.
Because of the history of trade over water that is rich in its pre-colonial past, SEA shares many similar cultural aspects and even similar words in languages. Though of course, though there are similarities, there are a lot of differences as well. SEA is not a monolith.
If you want to think of it this way...that Korea, China, and Japan share so many things with each other including having a history of being able to share Chinese characters (the different names including hanzi, kanji, hanja), but that each country and culture is very different...that is what SEA is too.
This aspect of interconnectedness, yet with differences is emulated in RATLD. In the lore for Kumandra, the movie notes that all the regions were once one, but were separated after something broke them (that something being the malice of the Druun spirit). Yet, if they worked together they could become Kumandra once again.
It is shown in RATLD that the best way to make the spicy stew that is pops up multiple times, is to add all the spices and ingredients from all the regions of the land that was once Kumandra. This showcases that just like SEA, Kumandra was once a land of incredible interconnected communication and trade.
Kumandra wasn’t colonized, but it was separated by 500 years of land. The people didn’t use the water the same way. SEA was colonized (and actually, 500 years to the date on March 15, 1521 to March 15, 2021—the Philippines was “discovered” by the Spaniards so I wonder if that was a conscious choice on Disney’s part), and broken apart. I’m sure that without European colonialization, SEA could’ve been one huge interconnected country. Or bigger countries with different dialects.
Spirituality
Lastly, let’s talk about the spirituality of water. In RATLD, there are no other spirits besides the Druun which is made of discord and malice created from human malcontent. Yet, the Druun cannot go near water. I don’t know the exact reason for why it can’t or if it was inspired by a piece of mythology from an SEA country, but that is significant. (If you do know the reasoning behind this, please feel free to add onto this.)
SEA is full to the brim with myths and legends of nature spirits. From spirits that live in trees, to spirits that live in the water. And yes, they are spirits. They can be spirits of ancestors too.
The way Chief Benja pours a bowl of water on Raya’s head as beads of it float into the air...it is a great touch to highlight the energy that water just inherently has in any SEA tradition.
Though it’s probably a little reaching to point this out, the fact that Sisu was said to be washed to the end of a river is so interesting when Raya is looking for her. This is because in some SEA myths the river takes your spirit to the underworld. Raya finds Sisu at the end of a river and she is made of stone, her spirit stolen until her power is unleashed again with the dragon gem.
Floating flowers
Perhaps the most beautiful aspect of the movie and as it relates to water is the fact that the animators made a conscious choice to show so much imagery of characters making flowers float upon water. And of course, to use floating flowers as decoration.
Characters like Raya, Boun, and Sisu float flowers that look like orchids or jasmine flowers to remember their lost loved ones. The choice of flowers is significant too. These are flowers that are native to SEA. There are flowers everywhere and that is so pretty and so accurate.
To have them used as decoration floating in pools is also so nice too, because it is something that is done in households and not just in a palace. You can float a gardenia flower in a bowl of water to make the scent spread in a room, and it makes the flower last longer.
End
I’m sure there is a lot more I missed or things I got wrong. If you see anything you want to add or fix, please feel free to write it in any future reblogs!
#raya#raya and the last dragon#raya and the last dragon spoilers#raya analysis#analysis#disney#ratld#ratld spoilers#raya spoilers#sisu#namaari#boun#long post#water#naga#kumandra#sea#southeast asia#asia#philippines
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what are your favorite 20 songs from 2021?
tagged by @jieunssi i completely forgot to tag u lmaoo
(i'm assuming u mean released this year!)
in no particular order
| 1 | tears of rain - greta van fleet
i have to start with literally the biggest masterpiece ever created, this song is definitely more than music
| 2 | vivir así es morir de amor - nathy peluso
it's technically a cover or remake but she outdid herself with this one
| 3 | dimples - woosung
his whole album was amazing but he laced this song with drugs i think
| 4 | bad love - key
another song just laced with drugs, the chorus drives me insane
| 5 | 30/90 - tick tick boom ost
technically not a song but u get it, this musical was what i needed this year andrew garfield my beloved
| 6 | my universe - coldplay ft. bts
listen bts has so many better songs but out of everything released this year, this one gave me so much comfort? like it was really soothing and nice
| 7 | light my love - greta van fleet
this one though, light my love was insane, they are insane, i’m going insane
| 8 | venganza - no te va a gustar ft. nicki nicole
any song that includes women having their revenge from abuse is a bop tbh
| 9 | advice - taemin
how to forget the pussiest song of the year, taemin outdid himself ngl
| 10 | hello - joy
another remake but yes baby this was amazing
| 11 | first time - twice
this is the illegal title track, baby this was meant to be the main song
| 12 | zitti e buoni - måneskin
their italian songs >>>> any other song
| 13 | film out - bts
their true gem of this year, it is so underrated omg
| 14 | lilac - iu
she has had better releases, yes, but her songs are always iconic anyways
| 15 | killing me - chungha
same as iu but this song was very good
| 16 | dance crip - trueno
i’m not a trap fan but this song was such a good flow
| 17 | heartbreak - minho
finally we have a single, this man needs a whole album tbh
| 18 | nicki jam bzrp session
can't top nathy peluso's session but is still so good
| 19 | ain't shit - doja cat
still stuck in my head
| 20 | just greta van fleet's the battle at garden's gate
yeah, just put the entire album, the best release of this entire shitty ass year
ngl this was so much harder than expected, i lost it after the 9th song
tagging @trashlord-007 @christina-dh @peachy-101 @reyofseokshine @stardustdanny @starchords @ageofflowerpower @ageofmachines @jaakey @golden-van-fleet @sing-against-the-sky @brucethemermaid @dreamsoffilm @sannierio @gayforpinks
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Thurs 7 Jan ‘21
Z3 Z3 Z3 Z3 Z3 Z3 Z3!!! Firstly Zayn posted a teaser of a red curtain, labeled 'tomorrow', beginning to rise with a snippet of a song-- it's Vibez! Vibez is HERE! NEW ZAYN MUSIC! And hell yeah that's super exciting (and the curtain is reminiscent of the filming at the theater last month I'm hopeful we're about to get that video) but THAT'S not the half of it-- Z3 listings are UP! 'Nobody is Listening' (friend we are ABOUT TO BE and I CANNOT WAIT) is out Jan 15 and has 11 songs (titles unrevealed with the exception of Better, already released, and Vibez). The cover art is a painting of a bright colorful sea of staring faces; everybody looking, nobody listening? Spotify also has Vibez cover art- a cool blocky noir looking painting- and a new photo of Zayn smouldering in a tank top. Happy almost Zayn's birthday to US, and thank you very much!
Liam did a long live today with an also long BEARD (oh shush on his FACE you guys) to talk about Saturday's show, but then he ends up talking to Ben Winston for most of it which is, as you can imagine, a mixed blessing. I mean all that 1D reminiscing is great for dredging up unknown tidbits for us but otoh Ben: the part where Liam puts manager Steve on to say hi to Ben and it's just the two of them is the worst content I've seen in a minute and I mean... Holivia is current..? ANYWAY, before Ben, Liam has his cousin Ross on and tells us Ross will also have cousin Luke playing drums for him at the show Sat, and snippets of all the openers' music are played. They discuss accents, and Liam, as usual, says that he was just on the phone to Louis (relatable I too immediately think of Louis when discussing strong British accents). And then the Ben chat: they talk about the We Are 1D Family fan project at San Siro and how the band didn't know it was going to happen, Liam talks about not wanting to do the Leroy piece for the BSE video (“haha remember I had a meltdown but you made me do it!”:/), and they talk about the two Midnight Memories videos-- we learn that Ben didn't have anything to do with the scrapped first one so he can't release it sorry, and “you guys didn't like it so we had to make a new one in like a week”. Liam: “no I preferred the first one!”, lol. Ben talks shit about not liking You and I (no wonder he did her so dirty), Liam: “WHAT??” and “didn’t Zayn’s high note turn you on a little bit? It had to!” sksksjfa okay calm down there, and then he turns me into the 'had me in the first half' meme when he says his least favorite 1D song is I Would! CAN YOU BELIEVE. He quickly realizes though that no! He means I WANT! Yeah okay that makes more sense but jeez Liam, don't mess with me like that! He also says (not about I Would or I Want), “when I was younger I didn't really understand the songs as much as I understand them now, they mean so much more to me later on in life than they ever have done before, the feeling, the emotions that come through, the lyric as well for some of them.” Oh and Ben mentions the Grammy awards being pushed to March 14 which btw I forgot to say yesterday so there ya go. New date. And last but not least, new LP Act 4 merch! RAINBOW HOODIE! Omg it's so good! The rest is great too but that rainbow hoodie (uh 'hoody' that is hmm why) is soooo nice.
9 am PST came and went without a single Holivia pap pic, but don't worry (darlings) they were just a little late today, though you'll be excused if you didn't realize there were new ones, as they are simply more of the same batch as yesterday's- it was a very exciting parking lot after all, they needed a lot of documentation! Harry grabbing Olivia's arm SO AWKWARDLY is a gem though, I'm starting to have doubts that they're even really friends now that I'm seeing them interact so much tbh. I think the press time excitement was supposed to be the 'candid' pics of them drinking coffee together with Harry in the spa robe (taken... maybe you can guess... YES! it was over the weekend!) but aside from being memed they didn't seem to get much traction. Even so, the press is still all over Holivia ofc and if you only read one article about it PLEASE make it the Harper's Bazaar one that marveled at today's pics “Wilde happened to be wearing the same outfit from last weekend” oh SO CLOSE YOU GUYS, defensively states that Harry was wearing a mask (in response to the many articles out there about people being mad at him for not wearing a mask which yes are very much still up and not being suppressed by HSHQ, btw) but some enterprising layout person placed a picture of him without a mask right under that line, and tells us twice in a row that their relationship is 'very organic'-- definitely 100% truly oBvIOusLy ORGANIC, 'a source' says so. So you can see that clearly it's all very organic. In case you were wondering! STRONG honorable press mention for Vogue though, who declared that Holivia were “already 2021's most stylish pair” with a picture of Harry in his paint splattered merch hoodie and pushed up sweats; but then they also said the other day that larries were people “who ship Harry with Liam Payne”...hey Vogue I really recommend getting an intern if you're struggling, so helpful!
#liam payne#harry styles#zayn#most of my dash – ugh I have holivia blacklisted I do not see it anyway the chicken#me: ugh actual updates JUST LET ME MAKE FUN OF HOLIVIA PRESS ALL DAY#yeah I know not everyone is an I would stan but I' just prefer to believe everyone appreciates as much as me it's how it should be#I'm in the 'spoiled by Icarus Falls an actual epic work of genius' camp and I'm sad this one is comparatively short#but Z knows what he's doing I'm gonna bet it's perfect as is and I can't wait to hear it#I already love Vibez it's so pretty and soft#Liam to Ross- haha this is first time I've been on the phone to you in a few weeks when I'm not drunk. :/#he also talks about watching the San Siro gig drunk the other day#he does not however say he doesn't have access to any of his accounts he says he DOESN'T KNOW HIS PASSWORDS offhand#that he's just logged in on his phone but can't just tweet from another phone real quick while he's on live#I would say the exact same in that situation and despite tumblr oppressing me rn for the most part no one is controlling my accounts yall#it's NOT THE SAME THING he clearly states that he access to ALL HIS ACCOUNTS on HIS PHONE#Harry Lambert made a flagging joke not relevant to much just a reminder that yeah it's a real thing#and gay people def know about and about the significance of wearing bandanas#I mean the connection of the blue bandana to Louis is a whole other thing ofc but if Harry does mean that by that#he knows very well it isn't the only thing he's putting out there#probably why he steers real wide of ever putting in his pocket lol he truly said fuck your top bottom discourse#7 jan 21
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rock on; t. jost
WARNINGS: none
WORD COUNT: 2.2k
A/N: I wrote this back when Josty blessed all the goths with his black lipstick and choker and space buns last Halloween, so I thought well, why not re-post it and here it is.
“Babe?”
“Mhm…”
You watch in amusement as Tyson hovers around your makeup table, occasionally picking at an item now and then to inspect it before setting it back in its place. Although he tries to make himself appear as nonchalant as he can, you know there is something on his mind that made him circle around the area for the past half hour or so. You didn’t think much of it initially until he started uncapping some lipsticks, twirling them up for inspection, eyebrows furrowing in concentration before setting them down again. If you didn’t know him for as long as you did, you’d pass off his behaviour as an act of boredom, but you can swear you know him even better than you know yourself at times. There is purpose to his movement, and you’re set on finding out what’s been nagging at him.
“See anything you like?” you ask cautiously, though there’s a hint of amusement in your voice.
“What? No, I was just…” He lifts his shoulders in a shrug, placing a pencil back in its place and for a brief moment, he catches your eyes in the mirror. It isn’t until you arch a brow in silent question that Tyson turns to face you properly. “So, you know how we have that little get together for Halloween tonight?” he questions, and you prompt him to carry on with a quick nod of your head. “Well, since you and Olivia are going to wear matching costumes, Dante and I thought of doing the same thing.”
“Let me guess. You two are finally agreeing with our Flintstones costumes, and will dress as Fred and Barney?”
Tyson chuckles and he shakes his head, almost regretfully. “Not quite. But, uh, do you happen to have a really dark shade of lipstick? Like a dark purple or…black, even?”
You sit up slowly then crawl over to sit closer to the foot of the bed. “I think I do. I’m pretty sure I do. Why do you ask?”
“Well, remember when we watched that Scooby Doo movie and you said you really liked those Hex Girls?”
You’re just a split second away from confirming you remember that because it only happened the previous night. You and Tyson knew you’d be hanging out with a few friends on Halloween night, so you booked off the Eve of it solely for yourselves. The movies were rolling one after the other throughout most of the day and the two of you went from watching genuinely scary films to children’s stuff like Hocus Pocus or Paranorman, though you found that both of you were especially keen on Scooby Doo and the Witch’s Ghost. Whether it had to do with it being such a childhood classic or the familiarity of the characters, you and Tyson made sure you had enough snacks to last you the full run of the movie without either of you having to get up for refills. By the end of it, you were both trying to one-up each other for the best impersonation of the Hex Girls though you barely managed to make it halfway through before giving in to fits of laughter.
The coin dropped then.
“No way…” you exclaimed quietly while Tyson confirmed your guess with a quick nod and a big grin, clearly proud of the decision he and Dante came to at some point and could now finally put it to practice.
“Uh-huh. Well, we’re not dressing up as the Hex Girls but they’re definitely the inspiration, so… Think you can help?”
The sheer excitement of the thought made you squeal and jump up off the bed properly, clapping your hands together, mind already racing through the endless possibilities. Sure, you should probably make a start on putting together your own look for the approaching evening, but this was so much more exciting. Betty Rubble could wait. Tyson in a goth-rock look, however? You had to help him make a start on it – right now.
“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me about this sooner! I could’ve—oh gosh, we could’ve put together so many things!” you exclaimed while circling around him to browse quickly through a few items across the vanity, setting aside some tools in a pile you mentally labelled as the for-consideration pile.
“I trust you with this,” he assured, turning to sit properly in the seat while watching you go through what to him, seemed like endless options. “So, we’re thinking the full works, you know? All black outfits, maybe even makeup to go with it… What do you think?”
“I think this will be the best Halloween,” you confirm to him and press a quick kiss to his mouth for extra measure. Once you straighten up though, something keeps you hovering just behind Tyson to consider him with a slight tilt of your head and a narrowing of your eyes. Almost subconsciously, you bring a hand up to his hair, running your fingers through the curls and the gesture makes him tilt his head back in silent encouragement to keep doing that. “How about space buns?” you ask quietly, almost to yourself and briefly test out the idea by gathering some of his hair to part it. It’s long enough now, and so easy to work with that it’d be too much of a shame to pass on the opportunity. “Please say yes.”
Tyson laughs quietly, reaching back for one of your hands and giving it a light tug so that you can let him guide it to his mouth. He presses a kiss to the heel of your palm and then the inside of your wrist.
“Go for it.”
The fun begins then and though the idea is very much Tyson and Dante’s, the entire process becomes your own.
You dig out an old black denim jacket you almost forgot about and when you both come to the conclusion that it’s probably a little too tight for Tyson around the arms and therefore not quite as rock-and-roll, you take a pair of scissors to it despite his endless string of assurance that surely there’s something else he could use.
“Babe, it has little gems around it. You can’t say no to the early 2000s type gems on clothing,” you tell him in a deadpan voice and that seems to do it just right.
The dressing up part is the easiest and perhaps the most straightforward, but when you finally sit him down at the vanity again so that you can make a start, Tyson makes you line up everything you’ll use so he can take a picture and send it to Dante. Just to make sure that they’ll be as closely matched as possible.
Tyson follows your guidance to a T: he looks up when you line his bottom lash line and looks down when you make a start on his eyelids; he parts his lips a little just before you make a start on lining them (not before exclaiming how good this entire look is coming along and pressing another kiss on his mouth which he returns just before you take a pencil to it) and bites down on a small folded tissue when you tell him.
All the while, you prevent him from trying to glimpse himself in the mirror but after he gets past the first two complaints (“babe, come on I just want to look really quick” and “is it because I don’t fit this at all and you’re trying to soften the blow?”), Tyson simply settles quietly, legs spread just enough to let you stand closer while parting his hair. Occasionally, he’d loosely wrap his arms around your waist or casually caress your sides with his palms but other than that, the entire situation is reminiscent of days from childhood when you and your girlfriends would take turns helping each other with dress-up and sitting as still as possible out of sheer fear the slightest inclination of your body would ruin everything.
It isn’t until you finish doing one of the space buns that you lean back a little to look at him properly, and you can’t help the small giggle that escapes your mouth.
“I think this is it, baby,” you tell him. “This is the costume for you.”
A slight furrow forms on his face and his smile is almost cautious. “I can’t tell if you mean it’s horrifically good or horrifically horrific. Not that I don’t trust your skills!” he corrects quickly, before you even have the chance to consider that in the first place. “I don’t think I’d trust anyone with a pencil anywhere near my eye except you, but I’m pretty sure between the two of us, you’d rock the eyeliner, dark lipstick and space buns better than anyone can.”
You arch an eyebrow but waste no more time getting started on the second bun. “What, you’re telling me you never let Kacey lure you into playing dress up as kids?” There’s a moment of hesitation, so you know you got him. Besides, you’ve seen the photos. Those were some of the first Kacey showed you as soon as Tyson introduced you to his family. “Thought so. Now let me just get this one done and you’ll see you might just give Dusk a run for her money.”
Try as you might though, and you couldn’t tame one of his curls from falling over his forehead and though you had an apparent endless supply of pins, you decided to give them a pass. There is something so incredibly endearing about that one loose strand that refused to be tamed and besides, you figured Instagram would thank you for it if any photos were to go up on the internet. For extra safety, you twirl it around your finger then set it loose before bringing your palms up to hover in front of his eyes.
“Alright, now turn around slowly and I dare you to tell me this isn’t an entire look.”
He does as told and once he’s facing the mirror, you make an entire show out of removing your hands, complete with a ta-dah!
At once, his mouth falls open and slowly, he turns his head one way then the other before tilting it down just enough to catch a full glimpse of the buns sitting atop his head.
“Oh my god…” he mutters, and you can tell his voice is caught somewhere between regret and amusement, so you wrap your arms around his shoulders, bringing your head down to rest on his shoulder after pecking his cheek quickly.
“If Dante came up with this idea, I’m buying him the most lavish box of chocolates. If you came up with this idea, it’ll take a lot to beat it, I promise that,” you assure him and Tyson bursts into embarrassed laughter.
“I look like I’m about to record the remix to an Alice Cooper song.”
“I wanna kiss you but I want it too much. I wanna taste you but your lips are venomous poison,” you quote in a soft sing-song voice and just as you’re about to pull away from him just to add that extra dramatic flair, Tyson catches your wrist and reels you back in towards him gently, meeting you halfway as he stands up.
“Keep going,” he murmurs against your mouth.
You chuckle softly, kissing the corner of his mouth. “Don’t spoil your lipstick so soon, baby. You didn’t even get to show it off to everyone else, so let’s save it for later, okay?”
It isn’t until you emerge from your bedroom almost an hour later after completing your own dress up that you notice Tyson had one extra surprise up his sleeve. He turns towards the sound of your footsteps and gleaming around his neck is a spiked leather choker that makes your jaw fall open. He stretches his arms out and does a slow spin, and when he faces you again, he tips his head back just a little as if to give you a better view.
“Yes? No?” he questions, and you detect a trace of hesitance in his voice.
“Yes,” you confirm, almost breathlessly as you close the gap between the two of you and despite your earlier warning, kiss him even if some of the black lipstick might transfer onto your own hot pink one. It’s no bother, anyway. You have your tube and Tyson’s packed in your clutch.
Just as you’re about to make a move towards the door, however, Tyson stops you and encourages you to do a full spin.
“Wow,” he exclaims, following that up with a low whistle. “It’s really not too late at all for me to get into that Barney costume.”
“Absolutely not,” you state firmly and to make your point even clearer, you quickly push him out of the door. “Betty Rubble and Wilma Flintstone are going to just have a girls’ Halloween get-together and we’ll see our husbands when we get back home. Meanwhile, you and Dante can put on a show worthy of a 2000s middle school goth-rock party. Hey, do you know the lyrics to My Chemical Romance’s I’m Not Okay?”
“I’m not singing My Chemical Romance,” Tyson says quickly, almost stumbling his words in doing so as if saying it any slower would mean he’d have to do it right there and then.
“Oh, you are so singing My Chemical Romance,” you say softly, voice taking on that sing-song tone again and burst into laughter as Tyson groans, gently bumping his head against the steering wheel.
#tyson jost#tyson jost imagine#tyson jost fic#nhl imagine#nhl fanfic#nhl fic#*#remember when tyson just decided to win halloween????? remember that????#i just thought of it randomly today and i was like holy shit#he makes me miss doing my own hair up in space buns so i think i will tomorrow lol
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Heartstrings
❂ reader x mark lee (soulmate au, inspired by the film “Weathering With You”)
❂ alerts: fluff, angst, self-blame, mentions of death, drinking, making out, mentions of the dreamies, happy belated birthday to the greatest rapper, laugher, and watermelon-eating fiend ever! this was 40 pages- i’m so sorry
❂ song rec: raining in london by lana condor and anthony de la torre
Soulmates. Weather. Uncontrollable and unpredictable- yet they control your mood and your fate. It’s been this way ever since you’ve been born, even since the beginning of your parents’ time. Your mother and father called it a force of nature- a phenomenon when you’re connected to someone like an invisible string, a syncopation of voices, thoughts, and feelings. Luckily for them, they fell in love when they were just college students and miraculously became soulmates. You always thought it was lucky that they met and were destined to be together from that moment, forming a family by having you in the future. It made you think of the what ifs. What if they didn’t meet or if your mother had someone else when your father was around? What if they loved each other but weren’t soulmates? What if you ceased to exist? It makes you shiver when you think about it.
During middle school, you vividly remember a collection of memories. Happy ones and unfortunately, not so good ones. Your father had died when you were 14, a drunk driver had recklessly crashed into the family van on the highway when your father was driving to work. Even 4 years after, your mom became extremely frail at heart from the grief. She always had a wine glass in her hand, sobbing every night when she’d enter every room of your family’s home. You were just a kid when she told you she saw your father on every wall and every photograph. She missed him. She told you that she wasn’t able to heal so quickly. Understanding, you rubbed her back on the floor of their bathroom, dumping the remaining liquid out of her smeary glass. She just sobbed into your arms, shakes rupturing her entire body. It made you feel broken and somber seeing your own mother like this. Still, you had to be strong for her.
The weather outside was cold and dark. Rain crashed down on the window pane like a series of dashes and lines. The clouds seemed angry, lightning flashing like shooting stars and thunder roaring like a legion of lions. It was extreme and powerful, water flooding the streets and your front yard. You were sure the peonies that you had planted with your father were now washed away in broken stems. It seemed like you had an ocean of water outside and inside your mother’s bathroom. The feeling of hopelessness did not stop. That’s when you heard a pin drop. It was a subtle but also a loud sound, something possible to ignore- it was the sound of a realization: your father always loved the rain. No matter how chilly it was, he always enticed you to dance in the rain as he held his arms out, a grin plastered on his face. His smile always stretched from ear to ear. It’s something you never forgot.
You wiped your mom’s tears with your thumbs, “Mom?”
Your mother coughed, her eyes red and puffy, “Yes, honey?”
“Can I show you something?”
“What is it?”
“Just trust me.”
You took her by the hand, leading her through your dark and empty house. You made way to your backyard door, opening up to your water-logged lawn and a cloudy sky. Everything was a dull grey but was touched with splotches of periwinkle blues, it can’t be all that bad. Letting go of your mother’s hand, you begin to advance into the middle of the grass, spinning and twirling as hard as you can. You spread your arms out before sticking your tongue out to the rain above, droplets cold and fresh. You screamed out to the sky, “I love you dad!”
Your mother watched you with her lips pressed into a thin line, leaning on the pillar of your roof. You motioned to her, “Come on, mom- maybe dad’s up there watching.”
She pauses for a moment, reluctant of what might happen if she indulges in the thought. She decides that there’s nothing to lose. There’s nothing to do but own it anyway. She flies into your arms, your figure supporting her weight. You hear her sigh out when she feels the soft patter on her cheeks. Small water droplets litter her eyelashes, the cold soothing the puffiness of her face. She shuts her eyes for a bit, relishing in the icy, chilling feeling. Both of your shoes are flooded and covered in mud but it doesn’t matter. For the next several hours, you both laugh as loud as you can, running around your backyard. You both lay side by side on the wet grass, the green tufts under your fingers. Your mom turns her head towards you, smiling, “We will be okay.”
You nod, nuzzling your nose into your mom’s shoulder, “I won’t let anything happen to us.”
You hate the world. You hate how unfair it is. You wish you kept your word. That night, your mother had fallen asleep on the couch. Even though you had insisted on running a bath, your mother refused out of exhaustion. That one second has landed you and your mother in the hospital. The doctor had told you that your mother had come down with a severe case of pneumonia- it’s already scarred the lining of her lungs. The damage is irreversible. He’s also told you that your mother isn’t likely to survive due to her past conditions of frail health. You sit in your mother’s hospital room, clutching her hand as she sleeps. You think to yourself: Hasn’t the world taken so much from you already? Haven’t you experienced too many sacrifices? Your mind shifts into shadows. If you hadn’t suggested going out in the rain, would your mother be better? If your mother dies, isn’t it your fault? Soulmates? Do they even exist? You hate the idea of waiting for someone, pining for somebody that might never show up. The world is silly. You cry into her hand until you can’t breath. You let go of it, making your way to the bathroom down the hall. Every doctor and patient that stares at you looks like a blur in your vision and your heart feels like it’s going to explode from it all. You can't stop rewinding your life like a broken movie reel, visions of your mother and you and your dad.
“Whoa there, slow down-”
A pair of arms catches you and an unfamiliar voice makes you bite your tongue on accident. When you look up, you’re met with the view of a boy- a cute one at that. You’re not in the mood to compliment him, to say anything. Still, through your blurry tears, you are wary of him. He seems like a boy that you could get to know but one that could wear the face of an innocent but actually be the devil in disguise. He’s too pretty to be average. His black locks are the color of ash, his eyes are dark and sparkly with innocence. Oh yes, he has sharp features too. His jaw and his cheeks are carved like seared gems, his eyebrows thin lines below his bangs. He wears a pair of denim jeans and a striped sweater. You take note of the annoyingly polished tag pinned on his sweater: “Mark Lee” it reads.
“Are you alright?” the boy asks again.
You just stare up at him, tears running down your cheeks like foggy waterfalls. You can’t smell, see, or feel. All you can do is lightly shake your head. Weirdly, he seems like he understands, “Can I help you find someone or a room? I’m a volunteer at this hospital.”
You shake your head again, a little too violently. You sniffle, your voice sounds small, “I just want somewhere that’s away from people.”
Apologetically, Mark nods. “I may be able to help. I just need to change first, yeah?”
“No, I- it’s alright. I don’t-t need help.”
Mark waves his hands around, “It’ll only take a few seconds, I promise.”
Why should you trust a stranger? Your mom always reminded you that your father was a stranger to her at first. Sometimes, you never know where it leads. You check the time on your phone before turning to see the direction of where your mom’s room is.
“Only a few minutes.”
You let Mark lead you to the bathrooms. He turns to you, frantic and he seems a little nervous, “Give me a few seconds. Don’t leave, okay?”
“Okay.”
When Mark comes out, he’s dressed in scrubs. He wears a grey shirt and matching pants, his tag now on the pocket of it. He looks like one of those hot nurses that helps the pregnant woman who’s screaming her lungs out in Grey’s Anatomy. You don’t say that to him though. He walks with you, “Follow me- uh.. what’s your name?”
“I-It’s y/n.” After passing a series of corridors, Mark unlocks some obscure door that’s a little ways down, shoving his ring of keys into the lock, “I come up here to think, maybe it could help you.”
“Is this even legal? Couldn’t you get fired for letting me up here?”
Mark rubs the back of his neck, his eyes on you, “Well yes, but I think you’re worth it.”
You make a face at him,“Why? I’m a stranger?”
“Not to be all sappy but my supervisor told me that in the medical business, you always have to take chances- this me taking a chance.”
You scoff, “Thank you for your charity, I’ll be going up now.”
Mark’s eyes widen at your brazen attitude, “I’ll wait down here. Just knock on the door when you’re ready to come down.”
When Mark opens the door, all there is a concrete staircase. But when you emerge to the top of the staircase, it’s everything in one place. Your breath hitches in your throat when you see it. It’s a rooftop. The sun sets on the city’s horizon, silver clouds rolling in to threaten waves of rain. Lightning flashes in it again, thunder booming just like that day. You walk around the rooftop, watching how high up you are and how the skyscrapers touch the vastness of the sky. When you turn around, you see something peculiar. A japanese-like shrine stands in your view, decorated with hanging lines of colorful lanterns and photos. Making your way to it, you recognize that the photos must be of victims that have died at the hospital. Flowers and bells hang from the red-painted posts. Under the arch, sits a small fountain that’s been collecting rain. It looks so old, covered in moss and grime. Though, if you peer hard enough, there are names inscribed into the stone. You step forward under the arch of the shrine, the bells ringing in the wind. But, when you do, it doesn't feel normal. It almost feels like all of your emotions and senses have been amplified. Somehow, you can’t hear anything. You can’t hear the twinkle of the bells or any wind. When you stare down at the fountain, you don’t believe it when you see water droplets floating upwards. You use your finger to touch the droplets, the small spheres floating into the sky in a stream. Gravity doesn’t work like this, does it? You try to grab the water droplets, they still continue to slip out of your hands and into the air above. How is this possible?
You dip your finger into the rain water that sits in the stone bowl, ripples forming. Something shocks your veins like electricity, it makes you clutch your heart through your chest. What was that? You run out from under the archway, suspicious of it all. Is it some sort of prank machine? Either way, you want to get back to your mother. You run out from under the archway, one prayer couldn’t hurt. It's silly, you don’t go to church much. Still, you clasp your hand together and you pray as hard as you can. You pray you can walk in the sun with your mom again, that your father is happy, and for everything you’ve ever known.
Opening your eyes, you run back down to the staircase before swinging the door open. You spot Mark tripping, his legs are a tangled mess, “Whoa- what the-”
You eye him suspiciously, “Why’d you lean against the door? I was clearly going to open it..”
“I thought you were going to knock! You just caught me off-guard is all.”
Despite having just met, Mark nudges you, “So, how was it?”
You eye him again, wary of him, “I’ll give you credit for the view- it was beautiful. I wanted to ask though, what was that shrine up there?”
Mark stops walking, cocking his eyebrow up, “What? There was a shrine?”
You stop walking as well, “The big red archway, fountain in the center? Colorful lanterns and photos? Can’t miss it unless you’re blind?”
Mark laughs nervously, his nose scrunching in mock-pain, “My eye-sight isn’t the greatest so..”
“There’s no way you could have missed it, I literally saw it the moment I got up there.”
“Maybe it’s new- I was just there last week and didn’t see anything like that. Maybe you need to check your eyes?”
“I have 20/20 vision, thank you very much.”
Mark raises his hands up in mock-surrender, “Yes sir- I mean, mam’’”
By the time you make it back to the hallway where you had run into Mark, you turn to him, “Well, this has been interesting. Goodbye, stranger.”
Mark giggles, “You know my name though- I know yours. Are we really strangers still?”
“Yes. We met like 10 minutes ago.”
You notice the pink blush that creeps onto Mark’s cheeks, his words coming out it a stuttering ramble, “I-I’d really l-like to ask-”
Before Mark can ask you his question, probably for your number, you're interrupted by your mother’s nurse running out to you both, “Y/n! I’ve been looking for you, it’s your mother. You need to come now.” Her facial expression does not look good.
You nod, “Bye Mark, thanks for uh- your time.”
Mark opens his mouth, “Y-yeah, no problem, uh- y/n, yeah- I’ll see you around?”
You follow the nurse, “Maybe.”
Later that night, your mom had passed away. And two years later, you had blamed yourself for it every single day. Not only did your prayer not work, your mind was absent of the boy who helped you onto the roof. You couldn’t didn’t want to even remember his name or why you had run into him.
2 years later
>I wonder if it’s raining in London
I wonder if the moon looks the same where you are
Still think about the sound of you humming
Singing to nothing in your car
Ever since your mom passed away, everything changed. You started to live with your aunt in her cottage home that was little ways out of the city. She had a rose garden out front, white and red bushes overgrown on the picket fence. Your aunt promised to invest in your parents’ property but thought it’d be good for you to spend the summer at the cottage. You could classify it as a time of healing, though most nights were spent thinking about your parents. You would spend the summer helping your aunt cook meals, plant flowers, and play with her beagle named Mosby in the wheat fields. At least, you weren’t entirely alone.
Eventually, it was time for you to apply for universities- a possibility that wasn’t even your orbit at all. Even so, strange things kept happening. Even when it was raining, no matter where you stepped- the weather changed in an almost too quick of an instant. If you wanted it to be sunny, the moment you stepped outside, the rays would emerge out of the obsidian clouds. If you wanted snow to play in with Mosby, it would snow even in the late June summers. It was odd, like the weather gods were at your beckon and call. This phenomenon only happened after that day you touched the fountain’s water, only after you walked under the archway of the shrine. You decided that there was no use fighting it. Of course, you were bewildered with your newfound power- though after a while, there was nothing to do but embrace it. There was something that your mother and father taught you since you were a child: help those who could be helped. Going around the city for errands, you observed people. For instance, a woman was telling her friend in the grocery store how disappointing that it would be raining during her baby’s 1st birthday. After collecting your items, you walked outside, clasping your hands together. You said in your mind, “Let us have sunshine for today.”
And of course, the weather forecast had announced that there would suddenly be no chance of rain. You could imagine the woman’s joy. You saw a young girl- about the same age as you running past you on the street as she tripped over her heels and fumbled in her tight office outfit, grumbling at how hard the rain was coming down. You wished for sunshine for her too. It was like the gods gave you a gift and it was your duty to use it for good- it’s what your parents would have wanted. Towards the end of the 2nd year, you told yourself that you wanted a change in scenery. It was time to do something worthwhile for yourself. Luckily, you got into the university of your choice and were on your way to moving to campus. There’s this erratic beating in your chest. Is it excitement? Anxiety? Fear? Probably a mix of all 3. As every coming of age movie, it’s all the same. Your aunt had helped you move into your dorm room, reassuring that you could come home or to the cottage whenever you wished. Thanking her, you press a kiss to her cheek before rearranging your boxes of belongings. Perhaps, this was the start of a new chapter.
First day of class
First period is english 101. The university looks nice, it’s very castle-like with high-rising towers and turrets made of carved stone. Students sit in the courtyards in their friend circles, coffees in their hands as they sit under the large juniper trees. Though it is a sunny day, the forecast shows that heavy rains will stir into a monsoon. You keep note of that. Walking into the lecture hall, you take a seat towards the middle row- not too close to be picked on but not too far where you can’t hear. The professor is some old guy who’s been studying philosophy for 3000 years and you hope that you don't fall asleep before he’s done. You rest your chin in your hand, twirling your pencil on top of the desk surface. Suddenly, the entrance door bursts open with a loud noise, causing the hundreds of the students in the room to turn their heads. A boy stands there, he drops his books recklessly. The professor pauses his lecture to lower his glasses, “Mr. Lee? You’re tardy, son.”
The boy scratches the back of his neck, doe eyes pointed at the man, “Sorry Professor Norman, the rain held me up.”
“Go take a seat.”
You hear the girls behind you giggle from the sight. All you knew was that he looked oddly familiar to you. The boy climbs the stairs, standing on his tiptoes to look for an empty seat. When he spots one, a grin is plastered on his face as he makes his way nearer and nearer to you. You realize that there’s an empty seat right next to you. It’s painfully embarrassing as you watch the boy fumble his way behind other students, murmuring I’m sorrys and pardon mes. One of his notebooks falls out of his worn down jansport backpack, a girl batting her eyelashes when she hands it back to him. Smiling charming at her, he whispers, “Thanks for that.”
Finally, after 4 years, the boy manages to make it next to you. You scoff when he accidentally swings his backpack into the side of your arm, “Oh god, I’m so sorry- “
You nod curtly, “You’re fine.”
Now that you can get a closer look at him, you feel sweat bead up on your back when you realize where you’ve seen him. It’s that boy- the one the night your mom died. He reaches his hand out, “Hi there, my name’s Mark. Mark Lee.”
You stare at him for a bit before reluctantly taking his hand, “Y/n.”
As much as you don’t want to admit, Mark looks as endearing as ever. His black locks are still the same, eyes shining from the dim lighting. He smells of the sweet rain, water droplets wetting his hair and his shoulders.
>I wonder if you look any different
And would I see the years that have passed on your eyes?
There’s still a little part of me missing
I no longer recognize
Mark turns to you, his eyebrow quirked when he says your name on his tongue, “Have we met before? You seem familiar?”
You shake your head, “I don’t know anyone by the name of Mark so, I guess you’re the first?” Why did you lie to him?
Mark nods, “Ah, I see.”
Mark ruffles the water out of his hair, opening his soaked notebook, “Ah shit, the rain got in my backpack.”
You can’t help but chuckle a little, “I can lend you some of mine?”
Mark’s eyes widen at you, you swear you can see a faint blush creeping on his cheeks, “R-really? I swear I’ll pay you back.”
“No need, here.” You proceed to tear some sheets out for Mark. His presence is kind of comforting- like some childhood friend. Wait, what? No- you barely know him.
You and Mark listen to the rest of the lecture in silence. When it’s time to go, he zips up his backpack before turning to you. He’s extremely red now. He bites his bottom lip, “Hey, I um, I was wondering if we could exchange numbers? I still want to pay you back for the paper and you’re new right? If you’re not, don’t worry about it but I don’t know, I just in case you needed me-ah, never mi-”
Before Mark can turn away, you look at him, “I’d like that. I could use a friend- being a newbie and everything.”
With that, Mark lights up, “Wait, really?”
“Sure.” You hand your phone to him, “Pick a good emoji.”
Mark’s fingers fumble with your phone, catching it in time before almost dropping it. He chuckles nervously, “Don’t worry, I got it-”
You smile, you’re sure your cheeks hurt from it.
“There you go Mark, you have my number now.”
“Cool. Good. Yeah.”
With that you wave him a curt goodbye, “See you around?”
Mark smiles back at you, teeth gleaming white in between his lips, “Yeah y/n, see you around.”
With that, you go home to your dorm room. When you look out the window before sleeping, you count how many droplets sit on the windowpane. The stormy skies angrily from swirls of obsidian and murky lavenders. You hope that Mark won’t be caught in the rain again tomorrow.
In class the next day, your professor assigns group projects during lecture. Because you happened to sit next to Mark, you were paired up together. You both didn’t mind though. Mark pulls out his notebook and fountain pen, yanking the cap off with his teeth, “So, I wanted to ask if you wanted to go over the project during lunch?”
You nod at him, “That works for me.”
When class is over, you follow Mark to the university’s cafeteria. It’s teeming with students and professors, lunch hour is always chaotic. Mark points at an empty table by the window, “How about over there?”
Before you can answer him, many voices call Mark’s name. He swivels around to see a group of boys motioning him over to their table. He glances at them before waving them off in refusal. You nudge him slightly, “We can go say hi if you want, I don’t mind.”
Mark runs a hand through his hair, making it stick up in some parts, “Are you sure? I don’t want to take too much of your time?”
“Let’s go, your friends seem nice.”
Mark scoffs, “Please, they’re hardly my friends.”
When you both make your way to your table, you’re greeted by a series of hoots and hollers. Mark introduces each of them. He points at a taller boy, brunette, and as handsome as hollywood’s greatest movie stars, “This is Jeno.”
Jeno smiles at you, his eyes crinkling into crescent moons. You’re sure your heart made flips at that. The loudest boy is named Haechan, jostling Mark by squeezing his thigh jokingly, “Is this your girlfriend?” he asks. You and Mark simultaneously shake your heads, refusing Haechan’s teasing. The next is Renjun, he seems more stoic than the rest. Similar to him, a girl whose hair is the color of burgundy plums sits beside him. Freckles dot her face, contrasted to the blueness of her eyes- you have to admit, she’s very pretty. Still, Mark introduces her as Lana and when you introduce yourself, it’s like daggers are being shot through her eyes. You suspect it has to do with Mark being next to another girl. When you’re finished introducing yourself to everyone, Haechan lets out a burst of laughter, “Y/n’s so sweet, if you don’t take her then I will!” as he slaps Jeno’s shoulder, Jeno rolls his eyes at the boy. Mark stares him down, grabbing your hand, “Y/n and I have a project to work on, we’ll be going now.”
You shout out a quick nice to meet you back to them, your eyes shifting to Mark’s fingers around your wrist. You don’t say anything as you let him drag you to the library- your hand becoming a little clammy. You hope he doesn’t notice it.
Sitting at some empty table near the shelves, he turns back to you, “Sorry about that back there. They’re rambunctious. They must’ve made you uncomfortable right?”
You smile at him, shaking your head, “Not at all really, they seem fun. You’re very lucky.”
Mark’s mouth makes an ‘o’ shape, his eyes widening. You gesture to his fingers, “Mark, you’re still holding me?”
In a flash, Mark drops your hand, his palm flying to his mouth, “Oh god- I’m sorry, I didn’t even realize-”
You place your hands on his shoulders, “Mark. It’s okay. You’re okay.”
He nods slowly, trying to fight the blush that creeps up his neck and his cheeks. He shakes it off, you realize how endearing he is. He sits down, opening up his philosophy books, “So, what should we do for the project?”
You twirl your pen in your hand, “Well, Professor’s prompt was we have to discover the secret of life right? What does that even mean?”
Mark knits his brows together, pouting his lips, “Good question. I think that’s what the assignment is- discovering it for ourselves?”
“How do we do that?”
“Let’s start making a bullet list. I do that when I’m weighing options.”
Mark starts to scribble on his notebook. “What does life mean to you?”
You look at him, your eyes instantly catching his. You have to look away. Life. Weather. Soulmates. Aspects of your world that you can’t fully understand. Your mouth feels dry. You think back to your parents, moments that you play in the dark by yourself, the things that you would do and experience but can’t. The words kind of tumble out from your lips, “Mark, do you believe in soulmates?”
Mark freezes. He sits in silence for a few seconds. He bites his lower lip, “It’s difficult to say. I mean, my parents are soulmates so I’ve just grown up thinking that I’ll have my own one day? But no, I don’t have anyone.”
You nod. You kind of mumble, “Yeah, I don’t have anyone either. I almost don’t want to believe in them.”
“Is there a reason why?”
“Not really, I just don’t get how two people can randomly become synched.” No, it’s because you’re afraid of love. You’re afraid of what will happen if you love someone so hard and they leave.
“Ah, I see.”
You clear your throat, “Anyways, back to the prompt. What does life mean to you?”
“I think it could be a variety of things, my family, my friends, school? But I’m assuming that Professor doesn’t want generic answers. He said the creative category weighs the most points.”
And then it clicks in your head. Your gift- it’s what ties you back to your mom and your dad, seeing people happy when you are able to bend the weather to your will. You’ve never told anyone before. You thought people would look at you weird if you told them. Should you tell Mark?
Mark scrolls through his phone, long eyelashes accentuating the hood of his eyes. His lips pursed when he presses his fingers to the screen, “Hey- sorry, this is off-topic but what do you think is going on with the weather? Like one day it’s a hurricane and then sunny the next. Everyone’s talking about it on Twitter.”
“Mark, can I show you something?”
Mark snaps his head up, “Is everything okay?”
You smile, “Just trust me.”
You hand him his belongings as he messily shoves them into his backpack, “Where are we going?”
“Just don’t freak out.”
Mark makes a face at you, “When you say that it makes me freak out.”
You lead Mark to the roof terrace of the university, climbing the stairs in the pouring rain. People below run under the canopies as they use their books to avoid the rain. Mark gulps, “You know, I’m not the best with heights-”
You plant your feet on the ground, clasping your hands together. In your head, you repeat the words like a mantra, “I want sunshine today, let the heavens be sunny upon us.”
And like instant magic, glowing white rays start to sear the blackened clouds, the rain starting to cease. In the middle of the dark ocean above, patches of deep blue begin to emerge. Mark runs to the terrace railing, “Holy shit- are you doing that?”
When the rain is completely dissipated, you glance at Mark who’s staring at you with utter awe in his eyes, “I’m going crazy right? Is this some weird trip or something?” Mark’s voice cracks, his fingers clenching the base of his throat.
You shake your head, “No, this is my gift. You’re the only person who knows about it.”
“You have the power to make it stop raining?”
“Not only that, but all weather forms. Whenever I pray.”
Mark clasps his hands together too, closing his eyes as he murmurs types of weather, “How come it’s not working for me? I go to church all the time with my family.”
You sock his arm, “No silly, it’s not normal for everyone. Just me.”
Mark lets out an elongated whoa, “How long have you had this gift?”
Suddenly, your throat turns hoarse, “Since my mom died.”
He stammers, his words coming out in a trail of apologies, “I’m so sorry, I didn't know- I-”
“It was a long time ago. Still, I think I was given this gift to carry on my parents’ legacy, their connection of being soulmates even.”
Mark nods quietly. “That’s so cool. I’ve never met a weather girl before.”
You laugh at his nickname, “Weather girl huh? Has a nice ring to it.”
“I’ll change that to your contact name, you can bet on that.”
“I don’t doubt it.”
“So, what do you do with your gift? How do you know when to change weather patterns?”
“That’s the thing. I don’t. When I walk around and I see or hear that someone need’s weather for a specific day, I try to help them out. I thought I’d try to do something good.”
Mark runs his fingers over his hair, “That’s amazing. That’s so admirable of you to do that.”
“It’s what my parents would have wanted. I do it for them too.”
Mark stands up straight, his finger pointing at you. It looks as if a light bulb is going off, “Say- I have an idea for our project. What if we started a business?”
“What do you mean by that?”
“Hear me out- we can call it Weather Girl Service. We can talk about money management and leadership skills in life, because that’s what adults do right? Pay taxes and bills?”
You laugh at his silly idea, “But why Weather Girl Service?”
Mark hops excitedly up and down, “We can make job postings in the city and have people pay us by the hour if you change the weather to fit their occasion! We’d be rich by the end of it! But wait- only if you agree, I don’t want to make you do something like that if you don’t want to.”
Shrugging your shoulders, you smile at him, “I’m up for it if you are. I don’t mind.”
“Really?! Are you sure?!” Mark looks like an overly-excited school boy, his backpack jumbled because of how fast he’s jumping. He scrunches his nose, fistpumping the air, “We’re so getting an A on this.”
“Yes, I sure hope so!”
With that, you and Mark plan to meet at your dorm room the next day to get started on the project. He texts you later that night, “3 pm sharp right?”
“Yes sir, 3p m- my room.”
“Alrighty, see you tomorrow!”
When 3 pm comes, Mark stands at your door, his hands full with a box of materials and supplies.
You giggle, “You sure got reinforcements.”
“I have to be prepared!”
For the next several hours, you and Mark spend time designing different posters and infographics to upload online and staple to bulletin boards. Mark’s got a mark cap in his mouth, brows knit in concentration as he writes on his notebook.
Mark snaps his fingers together, “How about this: Weather girl at your service, you call and we’ll be there to help you get the memories that you want- birthdays, grad parties, work events, you name it! Submit your info to this number here!”
You flash him a thumbs up, “It’s perfect. I love it.”
All day you and Mark run around the city- posting your posters and fliers from anywhere you can find. You post them on benches, town hall bulletin boards, and the street lamps that line the sidewalk. And the whole time, you never take your eyes off Mark’s wide smile and sparkling eyes. You don’t catch that whenever you’re turned away, Mark glances at you to admire your features, your hair, and everything in between. Around 6pm, you walk beside Mark on one of the bridges that extends over the river. The sun sets in the horizon, colors of sharp marigolds and blush pinks paint the sky above. There was no way that you and Mark were going to run around the city in rain. Sighing out, you watch the sun cast a faint glow on Mark’s cheeks and the slender of his nose, making him out to be a painting that belongs in the museum. It’s almost like if you took a paintbrush that you could paint him yourself just to memorize it.
Mark fists the air in victory, “We had a very productive day today, don’t you think?”
You nod, “Of course. I don’t think anyone can resist our offer.”
“Thanks for doing this with me.”
You’re suddenly caught off guard by Mark’s gratitude, though it is not too out of character. “I had fun today with you.”
Mark smiles at the ground, twirling when he walks like he’s skipping to the beat of his favorite song. You hear him mumble a cute, “Me too.”
For the rest of the way, Mark walks you back home to your dorm room. Even though you told him you were fine, he still insisted.
“Well, this is me.” you say.
Mark scratches his nape, readjusting the strap of his backpack, “I’ll see you tomorrow then. The grand opening.”
You nod, “Yes, bright and early.”
You turn away from him as he watches you enter your building. You instantly wish that you could’ve placed a hasty peck to his cheek. It seemed irresistible in the moment. Though, you remind yourself to not get too comfortable. Little did you know that Mark spent the whole night thinking about you.
>But if I had met you today
Would I have loved you the same?
And if I had known it would take
Ten years and twenty-two days to stop loving you
Stop loving you, no
First day of business
“Mark, is this yours?”
Mark sits in the driver’s seat of his sunny yellow van- the kind that you’d make deliveries in. It looks bright under the gloomy, rainy skies. He honks his horn obnoxiously once and twice as he scrunches his eyes together before saying, “Get in loser, we’re going shopping!”
Laughing, you launch yourself into the seat before Mark takes off with a faster speed. You shout, “If I die in a car accident today, half of the money we make goes to my aunt okay?”
Mark playfully rolls his eyes, “Stop it y/n, I’m the best driver in town!”
“Yeah, right-”
The first stop happens to be one of Mark’s dad’s friends. He requested that he was going to surprise his wife with an anniversary dinner and needed sunshine for that specific hour: Saturday, 6pm. When you arrived at the pretty farm home, the man greeted Mark instantly when you got out of the van. He shook your hand, eyes anticipating, “Is it true? You can really change the weather?”
You smile at him, “You need to see it to believe it and I’m here to deliver.”
The man puts his hand on Mark’s shoulder, “Here’s the compensation for your work today. I have to ask one favor of you.”
Mark quirks his eyebrow up, handing the wad of cash to you, “What’s that?”
“My wife and I want some private time, we’ve paid you extra so that you can watch our daughter?”
Mark’s jaw drops, “Watch your daughter? As in baby sit?”
“Yes, that’s right. We will give as much as you need.”
Mark runs a hand through his hair, his eyes widened, “I don’t think-”
Before Mark can answer, you cut in, “We’d love to. What time does she need to be back?”
“8 pm.”
“Deal.”
Mark stands next to you, his face utterly flabbergasted from your confidence of the deal. You can tell that he’s freaking out inside. He’s panicking and it shows on his face.
“Mari, please come out! One second-”
Through the front door, the man guides his 7 year old daughter to you both. And you’re sure that your heart does flips when you see her. She’s dressed in a princess dress, her eyes fluttering from sleep. She’s the spitting image of her father. She drags a blue blanket in one hand, rubbing her green eyes, “Daddy?”
Her dad motions to you and Mark, “You’ll be hanging out with Mark and y/n today. Mommy and I will be back in a few hours.”
“Okay..”
The man tells you about everything you need to know, when Mari needs to go to the bathroom, what she likes to eat, and every little thing she likes to do.
“I think we’re all set now, any questions?”
You shake your head, “No sir, we’ll have her back by 8.”
He nods at you, “Good, see you both later.”
With that, Mari is left in yours and Mark’s hands. You crouch down to her level, waving at her lightly, “Hi Mari, my name’s y/n. Me and Mark will take you out today okay?”
The girl slowly blinks, clutching her blue blanket even tighter, “Are you my mommy for today?”
How have you not exploded from her adorableness yet? “Yes, just for a little bit until your real mommy comes back.”
She reaches up to cling to Mark’s pant leg, plopping down to sit on his shoe, “And you’re my daddy today?”
Mark glances down at her and back to you. He squeezes his eyes in mock pain, running his hand over his hair, “Sure, I’m your daddy.”
You nudge him, whispering, “She’s a kid, try to be nice.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
When you hop back in the van, you have Mari sit in your lap as you place the seatbelt over her body, making sure she is secure. Mark revs up the engine, driving slowly to the next location of requests. It doesn’t take long for Mari to fall asleep on your chest, you coo at her peaceful face.
“I’m not good with kids- what did we get ourselves into?”
“Don’t be such a worry-wart! She’s so cute, look at her!”
“Can’t, I’m driving.”
“Don’t be grumpy Mark, you’ll have a family with your soulmate one day.”
“I thought you didn’t believe in soulmates.”
“Agh- you know what I mean.”
“Will she be okay when we’re working? We have 2 more requests to do.”
“She’ll be fine, relax.”
The next destination you arrive at is a farmer’s market at the heart of downtown. When Mark parks the car, you wake Mari, “Mari? Mark and I have to work so you just stick with me okay?”
Mari mumbles a disoriented reply, her cheek still resting on your shoulder. You arrive at a fruit stand where an older woman approaches you, “Mark and y/n?”
Mark smiles at her, “That’s us- you called the Weather Girl Delivery Service?”
“Yes. The other farmers didn’t want to believe me but I swear, I wanted to take a chance with this. As you can see, we can’t have our market with all this constant flooding and rain. It’s like the weather’s been on steroids.”
Mark flashes her with a thumbs up, “That’s why we’re here, we’ll get to work right away.”
“Y/n?”
You step forward to Mark, “You’ll have to hold her.”
Mark’s eyes widen with surprise, “Uh, okay.”
He cradles sleeping Mari so awkwardly, you have to guide his hands to support her bottom, “Mark, you have to hold her up or she’ll slip.”
Mark fumbles with his hands before adjusting her so her chin is on his shoulder, “I got her, don’t worry.”
You nod before making your way to the center of the market. Clasping your hands together once more, you pray that the sunshine will blow away the cyclone of the shadows and falling rains. Miraculously, it does. When you turn around, the woman stands next to Mark in awe spreading her arms out in glee, “It works! Haha! Take that you old goons!”
The rest of the farmers stand under the shade of the fruit stand, grumbling at the woman’s victory. You give her a hug once she sends you off with a wad of cash and three freshly squeezed juices for all three of you. When you settle back into the car, Mari still stays rested on your lap.
“See, that wasn’t so bad.”
Mark rolls his eyes, a smirk plastered on his lips, “Okay, you win this time.”
“By the way, is this your first time holding a child?”
Mark laughs, “Don’t even patronize me right now.”
The third destination is a bit more serene. You arrive at an elderly woman’s home, her home similar to that of your aunt’s cottage. It’s decorated with wood and bamboo shoots, bells and windchimes hang from the roof shingles. Knocking on the door, the woman greets you. She’s an elderly Japanese woman, hair tied into a loose bun as she motions you to come inside with her cane, “Come in, come in.”
You both slip off your shoes, Mari awake as if sleep was a distant memory. The woman leads you to her dining room, pots of orchids and perilla leaves grow all over the counters and sink. There’s colorful painted murals of people and sceneries on the walls, smeared from the passing of time. History moves within the walls in a series of blurred colors.
“Something to drink, kids?”
You and Mark decline, prompting Mari to mumble, “I’m thirsty.”
You hear the rumbling noise from Mari’s stomach, it is around lunch time. You ask for the woman for a glass of water but she waves you off with a smile. Instead, she cuts a slice of peach pie for Mari, the crust smells of cinnamon and nutmeg. She passes a pitcher of lemonade to you and Mark, sucking on lemon slices as she works.
Mark sits next to you on the bench by the dining table, “Thank you for the hospitality mam’, there’s no need to pay us for your request.”
You smile at Mark’s words, not wanting to take from the elderly woman either. When she’s done putting away the pie, she meanders over to you slowly as she pats down Mari’s silky black hair, “You kids are awfully young to have a child.”
Mark chokes on his tea, sputtering the liquid into his glass. It sends him into a coughing fit, “S-she isn’t our child- we’re just watching her for the day.”
You jokingly hit Mark’s back to get him to stop choking, “Oh no, we’re not married either- we’re just friends.”
The woman raises her brow like she knows some unspoken secret, “Friends?”
You and Mark glance at each other before awkwardly averting eyes. Even Mari talks with her mouthful of pie, “They’re my mommy and daddy for today!”
Mark mutters, “I’m not your real dad..”
The elderly woman is amused, her smile creating creases on her cheeks and on her temples, “Are you two at least soulmates?”
This time, you answer her almost too hastily, “No! We’re only classmates- friends- that’s all.”
Mark looks at you, the sparkle in his eyes dimming a bit. Was that disappointment? Hurt? His shoulders are drooping and his lips are pressed into a thin line. Did you say something wrong? It was a fact though, you and Mark weren’t soulmates.
You try to brush it off. The woman leans on her cane, “I need you kids for your strength. I would do it myself but as you can see, I’m not as young as I used to be. Help me move the orchids out back.”
Mark makes his way to the kitchen sink, roots overgrown on the counter top. You move Mari off your lap before turning to the elderly woman, “Could you please watch her?”
The elderly woman chuckles, “Sure, I have enough pie to keep her distracted.”
You politely thank her, making your way over to where Mark is putting the orchids into glass vases. He doesn’t say a word. You nudge him with your elbow a bit, “Is everything okay?”
His eyes are trained on his busied hands, “Mhm.”
“Mark, you don’t seem okay.”
“Nope, everything’s good y/n. Are you alright?”
“Well yeah, but..”
Mark bites his lower lip, “Good.”
He grabs both vases in his hands before walking over to the sliding door, leaving you alone with your thoughts. He definitely wasn’t okay, you don’t want to push him any further. Instead, you pot the rest of the succulents and flowers in the kitchen.
“You know, that boy likes you.”
You turn around to see Mari snuggling up to the elderly woman, her dimples popping out from smiling.
“Mark? No, we’re just partners for a school project.”
“That may be true but I’ve lived a long time, I know what love looks like. After all, I had a soulmate too.”
You lean against the edge of the counter, picking off the stray leaves off stems, “Let me guess- they left?”
“To the afterlife if that’s what you’re referring to.”
You stay silent. You’re not sure what to say.
“Child, have you been hurt in the past?”
You snap your head up at her, setting the flowers down, “Why do you ask that?”
She clicks her tongue, “Being ignorant to feelings doesn’t count as being oblivious. Don’t let your past rip you of your opportunities.”
Your eyes shift to Mark standing outside, he sticks his hand out in the rain, water droplets crashing against his palm.
“With all due respect, you don’t know what I’ve been through.”
“Shoot it at me. Guilt? Sadness? Grief? You forget I’m old. I’ve seen things.”
Mari pokes her arm, playing with the ribbon on the woman’s sleeve, “Can I have more pie?”
The woman frowns down at her, “You’ll be sick if you eat so much pie, wait for dinner.”
Mari huffs in response, brows furrowed in annoyance.
“My point is, y/n, you have to learn to accept outcomes and heal. Don’t be stuck on your mistakes and your missed trials. Learn and grow from them. Ask yourself of purpose. Why are you doing this project? Why with that boy?”
Before you can answer her, you’re about to say it’s for the grade, maybe for the extra money. Deep down, you know that it isn’t that. You turn to look at Mark outside. He’s standing in the middle of the woman’s Japanese garden, eyes shut under the falling rain. And you swear, you’ve never seen anyone who’s any more beautiful. He looks so peaceful standing there, hair becoming wet from it. It reminds you of that day.
She continues, “In my time, I’d normally enjoy the rain. But, my flowers are dying so I need you to bring the sun for today. I haven’t felt that ever since the city’s been raining non-stop.”
You nod, you know what you must do. You stroll over to the sliding door, opening it up to the garden. You approach Mark in the middle of the grass, watching him as he sticks his tongue out. When he opens his eyes, he jumps from being startled by you, “Whoa, how long have you been standing there?”
“Not long, I just wanted you to enjoy the rain about longer before I- you know.”
“Oh, right, go ahead.”
You do what you do best.The old woman steps onto her porch, Mari flying past her to catch up with you and Mark. You savor the coldness, the breeze, and the scents of drenched flowers. You want to try something new, something that you can see and feel all in one moment. In our head, you visualize a million colors. You think about the walls of the elderly woman’s home and the sunset glow on Mark’s face, your mother’s familiar smile. You think about Mari’s laugh and all the people you’ve made happy today. It paints tangerine oranges and lavender streaks, explosions of electric blues and sparkling greens. Clasping your hands together, you wish on the stars to send your vision into the sky. When you open your eyes, Mark’s holding Mari in his arms as her mouth falls open from the view. It worked. The sky above your heads has become an ocean of color strokes, clouds and stars swirling together. It’s the best configuration you’ve ever made. It looks like a real-life kaleidoscope.
“Holy shi-”
Mark stops his words when he feels Mari’s small finger poking his cheek, “Look at what y/n made!”
You smile, pressing your hand to Mari’s head, “I made it for you! Do you like it?”
Mari squeals, “ Yes! Yes! Daddy, lift me higher!”
Your eyes fall on Mark’s. He gives you a knowing smile, eyes soft with adoration and glittering under the shooting stars. He lifts Mari onto his shoulders, “Hang on tight!”
She yelps, placing her hands on his head, “I want to catch the stars!”
Mark begins to spin around lightly, making airplane noises from his mouth. You laugh at the sight, turning to look back at the elderly woman. She winks at you, leaning on the pillar of her makeshift watering station for her succulents. After playing around under the cosmos, you finally greet the elderly woman goodbye, thanking her for her advice. Though you and Mark refuse, she shoves her cash into your hands, telling Mark to treat you- she says you're both welcome to her home anytime. Afterwards, you and Mark drop Mari at home as promised. You feel your heart swell when Mari starts to cry, Mark pressing a kiss to her cheek before setting her into her father’s arms. He assures her that you and Mark will come to visit sometime, inviting you both to dinner in the future. Of course you agree.
Mark drives you back to campus, walking you to your doorstep as always. He pulls out the money, splitting it evenly in half before handing it to you, “Your share as promised of course.”
You nod, taking the cash from him, “You know, doing this job- money is a bonus but I’m not doing it for that.”
Mark chuckles, his hands in his denim pockets, “I’m glad we can make people happy.”
A silent beat. “You know, uh, about earlier- I didn’t mean to come off weird. I think I was just in my head about something, I’m not sure.”
You’re not usually someone who makes the first move. The first leap. Mark doesn’t even have the slightest clue about what he’s doing to you, how he makes you feel. Do you like him? You’re almost certain of the feelings. You step forward, your nose almost brushed against his chest. Gingerly and slowly, your fingers find Mark’s hand, it makes him gulp from the sudden contact. His eyes are widened in confusion and you think he’s forgotten how to breathe. Looking up at him, you say, “It’s fun doing this with you- I’d rather not do it with anyone else.”
Mark nods but doesn’t say anything. His hands are shaking. You can hear the erratic beating in his chest and it takes every bone in his body not to grab your face and kiss you right on the spot. When he doesn’t say anything, maybe you think that you’ve scared him. Maybe he doesn’t feel the same way. You step back a bit, the air becoming less tense, “I’ll see you tomorrow okay?”
“Okay, yeah.”
Mark opens his mouth to say something more but you’ve already shut the door. In Mark’s head, he’s let out a string of curses. Why didn’t he do something? Why didn’t he say something? Why is he such a coward? He asks himself. Is it the right time? What if you don’t feel the same way?”
All night, he beats himself up for it, tossing and turning in his bed.
The next couple months in your university fly by. Ever since that night, you and Mark continued as if nothing ever happened. One thing that did change was a gloomy, ominous blanket over the city- it almost felt apocalyptic in a sense. Weather forecasters predicted that with such heavy and continuous rains- the flooding, the city would be underwater in the next coming year. There might be an evacuation.
Still, you took it upon yourself to savor the time you would have left in the city. One of the things on your list was you wanted to get to know Mark’s world better. You know that he can’t eat dairy, he absolutely hates the texture of yogurt and he’s able to eat watermelon flavoring by the shot. It’s gross but it sounds like him. You and Mark eat at all your favorite lunch spots, watch comedies in the theaters, and hang out in each other's rooms. The business is going well, more and more people submit their requests for sunny days and sunsets, sometimes purposeful rain to play in. Mark drives in his sunny yellow van, sticking your hand out the window as your favorite songs blare from the speakers. You even have dinner at Mari's house. Her parents are shocked to hear that you and Mark aren’t together yet. The blush on your cheeks are the shade of ripe cherries. At the school, you sit with Mark’s friends practically for every meal. Everyone is fond of you, except Lana. Every time Mark tells stories about wacky customers or talks about how excited he is because you both received an A in philosophy class, Lana gives you a look. Vice versa, Mark glares at Haechan whenever he gets too close to you, he doesn’t say anything.
You and Mark had started the business in the summer, the weather outside is more autumn-like now. You have to wear a scarf to class because of how chilly it is. Leaves change to shades of burgundies and browns, falling off trees when they’re ready- it almost signifies the start of a new season- a new chapter of your life.
Autumn
>Where did the time go?
You became someone I used to know
Where did the time go?
When you became someone I used to know
Used to know, used to know, used to know
Business Partner Mark Lee: “Y/n, the boys and I got tickets to the new amusement park. Wanna come?”
You text Mark back during your statistics class, “Of course, I’ll be there.”
Business Partner Mark Lee: “Meet us there at 6 pm. After that, can we talk? I need to ask you about something.”
“Okay.”
Going back to your dorm room, you walk with a pep in your step. You wonder about what Mark wants to talk to you about. Will he finally say something? Is it about the business? Does he think you’re too mean with your teasing? Anyway, you dress up in a cute outfit of your choice- nice shoes, a cotton knit sweater, and a corduroy skirt. You even tie your hair with ribbons that Mark gave you as a congratulation for 100 customers' gifts. You bought him a guitar pick then.
By the time you reach the amusement park, you meet up with Haechan, Renjun, Jeno, and Jisung. Chenle had choir practice and Jaemin was on a date with some girl. Mark and Lana are nowhere to be found.
“Hey, guys.”
Haechan sees you first, swinging his arm over your shoulders, “There she is- beautiful y/n.”
You attempt to push his weight off, “Haechan, you’re heavy- you’re going to break my shoulder bone.”
Jeno laughs, “I don’t think that’s actually possible.”
Renjun jumps in, “What should we do first? Ferris wheel? Laser tag? Mini-golf?”
“We’re not doing rollercoasters, not the upside down ones.” Jisung rolls his eyes, chewing his mint flavored gum.
Haechan smirks, “Jeez Jisung, you’re no fun- you can stay on the ground and video record us like a grandma.”
Renjun shoves Haechan, “I’m with Jisung on that one, unless you want puke all over your expensive jacket.”
“Fine, me and y/n will be up there.” Haechan leans down to whisper in your ear, “If you get scared, you can hang on to me.”
You awkwardly pat Haechan’s chest, “I don’t think that’ll be necessary, thank you.” Haechan raises his eyebrows, his lips upturned in a smirk, “Whatever you say, y/n.”
You know that Haechan has a crush on you. Jeno and Jisung had told you so out of curiosity but doubted it from the start- they knew you had your eyes on Mark the entire time. Haechan could never compete.
“Where’s Mark and Lana?”
Renjun snaps his fingers, his eyes lighting up, “Oh yeah- Mark told me he was picking up Lana. I think they were hanging out before this.”
Haechan responds, “I’m not surprised. I think Mark will ask her out today, their families have known each other since birth.”
Your heart sinks. Oh, so there was someone else. It’s probably why Mark brushed you off that day. Probably why he’s never said anything since. You feel a bit sick in your stomach and you haven’t gone any roller coaster yet. You had spent this whole time pining for someone who’s not going to like you even as close as you like them. It’s been one-sided.
You’re interrupted from your thoughts when Jisung waves excitedly at Mark and Lana, both of them side by side. You feel weird about it. Renjun straight up, his finger pointing to the air, “Let’s do laser tag first, I call dibs being team captain.”
Jeno laughs, his eyes crinkling when he does, “Then I’m the other team captain.”
“Hey, y/n.” Mark comes up from behind you.
“Hey Mark. Hey Lana.”
Lana says a barely audible, “Hey.”
Once you’re all split into teams, it goes like this: Jeno’s the captain of your team, you, Haechan and Lana are on team red. Team blue consists of Renjun as captain, Mark and Jisung. To compensate for the lack of team members, team blue gets a head start in hiding. When the game begins, you just try to have your best to have fun. You dodge around the glow in the dark pillars, aiming your gun at Renjun as he angrily fists the air from running out of ammo. Haechan and Jisung fight off to the death, freezing each other out. By the time the hour is done, it’s down to you, Lana and Mark. You try to devise a plan with her but she doesn’t seem to engage with you. All she tells you is, “I’ll get Mark out.”
Was that a warning? A phrase of double meaning? Maybe you’re just overthinking it because of envy. Down to the last three seconds, Lana and Mark face off in the middle of the playground. Before Lana shoots him, Mark fires first- the obnoxiously blaring alarm sounding off team blue’s victory. Jeno throws his gun down in frustration, you pat his back in comfort as you watch Mark laugh with Lana and Renjun. Who were you kidding?
Haechan shouts, “Let’s go on the dragon ball coaster next!”
When you’re all in line for the coaster, Haechan whispers a joke about the man who’s dressed as a clown a few feet away, enticing park-goers into the circus tent. You laugh at the joke. To Mark, he’s burning with jealousy. He watches when Haechan, his friend’s lips almost touch your ear, your giggle from Haechan’s flirting. Mark tightens his fist, averting his eyes from a scene. He has yet to tell you but he’s waiting for the right moment. He doesn’t want to come off as the overly-jealous boyfriend when you aren’t his. He snaps out of it when Lana tugs his arm, “Can we go in the tunnel? I’m not good with coasters.”
Before Mark can answer, Renjun jokingly gags, “The tunnel of love? You guys are bound to moochie mooch in there huh?”
When Renjuns says such a thing, you don’t hear any of Haechan’s jokes anymore. You don’t hear the sound of Jeno jostling Jisung and Jisung whining about it. You just wait for Mark’s response. He stares back at you in silence, Haechan even stops talking to look at Mark looking at you. Your eyes trail down to see Lana’s clutch on Mark’s arm, tightening when she makes eye contact with you, “Mark?”
You can’t hold it in. It just falls out from your lips, “You two should go, there’s limited seats in the coaster cars anyway since we have an odd number.”
It’s like someone’s fed you bitter medicine. You grimace at your words, almost regretting them instantly. Jeno and Jisung give you a knowing look, they know. Haechan laughs, “Very true point y/n, you guys can head along.”
Mark ducks under the cue line, Lana scrambling to follow after him. Everytime she tries to cling on to him, Mark removes her hands politely, declining. It makes you feel even worse. Jisung and Jeno carry on with their conversation. Haechan looks at the pair, “They make a good couple don’t they?”
You just nod. Maybe they do. After the roller coaster ride, you don’t feel any better. Jeno and Haechan are screaming to go again and Renjun and Jisung opt to go get snacks at the candy shop by the merry go round. Haechan nudges you, “Let’s go again?”
You smile at them, “Actually, I think I’m going to go home. I don’t feel well- I think I ate something that expired this morning.”
Jeno frowns, “Are you sure? We can take you home if you want.”
Waving your hands in refusal, “No, no, you guys have fun- I’ll see you in class on Monday.”
You begin to walk away from them, a rising feeling in your stomach. You dig your fingernails into the skin of your hands. Do not cry right now. Mark’s just one person. But you know that it hurts too much to forget about him. You almost don’t hear it when Haechan is shouting at you to wait up, grabbing your wrist.
“Y/n? Can we talk? Oh-”
It’s too late. The dam is broken, your tears are starting to blur your vision. Not right now, not in front of Haechan.
“Y/n.. what’s wrong?”
You sniffle, swiping at your eyes, “Nothing. I’m okay, I’m just tired and stressed about the business.”
Haechan’s face softens, he’s fiddling with the zipper on his expensive suede jacket, “I know this isn’t a good time but if I don’t say it now, I don’t think I can. I really, I mean really, like-”
You cut him off, “You like me. Right?”
Haechan becomes still. He freezes, slow blinking, “How did you know?”
“Any girl who can’t see it is more than oblivious. And, I appreciate it. I love you but not in the romantic way. I love you because you’re kind to me, you’re witty, and you make everyone in this group so happy. But I-I just I can’t- ”
“It’s Mark right? Jeno and Jisung told me.”
An awkward beat. You two don’t say a word. It’s just silence between you two, tears falling from your face and onto the pavement. Your nose is running and you’re sure that the other park-goers who pass by are staring at you two like some spectacle.
“I’m sorry, Haechan. I didn’t want to hurt you.”
Hacehan sighs, looking up at the blush pink sky that’s being consumed by inky storm clouds, thunder beckoning rain in the distance. He thinks to himself, I knew it was Mark all along. Why did he even bother? At the time, he thought it was worth the shot. Now, he looks at your crying face, the way your long hair falls over your ears. He takes it upon himself to put one strand behind your ear, wiping your tears with the pad of his thumb, “How could you hurt me? We’re friends and I’ll always care about you. I’ll be okay.”
You stare back at him, it makes the crack in your heart widen. The world is so unfair. It’s unfair to you and to Haechan, to your family. At least, Haechan has a chance of finding a soulmate who isn’t as broken as you. He’ll find some nice girl to laugh at his jokes, tease him when he whines, and buys him video games every holiday. You stand on your tippy toes because of how tall he is, pressing a lingering kiss to his cheek. You whisper, “You’re going to find a soulmate who will love you for eternity- I’m sure of it.”
>I think we must’ve known how it ended
When we wrote it on a napkin with tears and a pen
A couple of kids who pretended
Until it felt real in our heads
Haechan stares at the ground, not saying a word. You take off running, tears running down your face like it matches the hard beating in your chest. It always ends up like this. It’s like the world can’t give you one piece of happiness. You decide to walk home. Call it melancholy or stupid because you can catch a cold, but you’re not in the mood to ask anyone for a ride. You walk on the streets alone, rain coming hard on you. Your hair, your outfit, all of it soaked. And you’re sure that you’ve lost one of your hair ribbons from running. You don’t have strength in you to wish for sunshine. Concerned mothers ask if they can buy you an umbrella and you just decline politely. It hurts, the smell of the rain and mixing of your tears. Your feet are blistered and drenched. In your pocket, your phone vibrates continuously. Mark’s asking where you are and you don’t have it in you to see his stupidly dumb, dorky, adorable face.
Dragging your feet along the pavement, the rain only comes down harder. There’s barely anyone on the streets and cars zip by, splashing puddles onto the cement. Your lungs are choked up from your sobs. That’s when you hear it, a voice calling out to you from a distance. You don’t want to turn around but you can’t stop yourself from doing so. You can’t resist it.
>I guess I don't really know who you are now
I guess that we met with our heads in the clouds
So I look for your name and I say it out loud
Maybe that makes you real
I don’t know how to feel
I guess I don’t really know who you are now
I guess that we met with our heads in the clouds
So I look for your name and I say it out loud
Maybe that makes you real
I don't know how to feel
“Wait! y/n!”
You freeze in your tracks, your back faced to the boy who’s ran all this way to catch up to you. He’s got his hands on his knees, coughing from how fast he had to move. You still don’t turn around, you just feel it. “Let’s talk Monday, I’m not in the mood.” You speak slowly so he can’t recognize the cracks in your voice.
You feel Mark step closer to you, “Why’d you leave? I was going to talk to you, remember?”
You can’t hold it in anymore. You turn around, your tears blurring the vision of a rain-soaked Mark in front of you, “I can’t do this with you anymore!”
Mark freezes, his eyes trained on you. He doesn’t even blink. He stands a few feet away, a crushed and now wet gift box in his hand. “Y/n, just tell me what’s wrong.”
You sigh, trying to breathe air into your lungs, “All this time, I don’t know what I feel. I’m so confused about all of it. You’re confusing me!”
“What are you talking about?”
“God, I’m so stupid!” You wipe your tears, the thunder roaring above your heads. The water doesn’t cease at all. The weather matches the burn in your heart. You heave, continuing, “I have to go. See you in class, Mark.”
Before you can walk away, you feel a firm hand on your wrist.
“Y/n. Look at me.”
You whimper, “I can’t,”
“I said look at me.”
Reluctantly, you face Mark, he’s still holding your wrist. You gaze up at him. His hair is matted against his forehead, cold droplets on his cheeks and trailing down to his chin. His jacket looks heavy and now, there’s barely space in between you. It all happens so fast, he drops the white gift box to the ground, clasping both of his hands on both sides of your face. He’s so close. You can feel the warmth of his breath, see every detail that makes him himself, every little memory and trait.
You search for some sort of sign, trying to calculate his next move, “What are you-”
He cuts you off by smashing his lips onto yours, powerfully and desperately. You melt and your mind’s being clouded by foggy thoughts, his arms supporting you by holding your body up. You’re surprised your knees haven’t given up yet. Mark molds his lips to yours, it’s a back and forth of wet, open-mouthed kisses under the crash of the rain. You both don’t mind. He continues to kiss you like that, eyes shut, pressing his lips harder and harder until you can’t breathe. Your fingers claw through his soaked hair, noses against cheeks, and you reel back to gain more access. His hands move to the make of your neck, his thumb swiping over your cheek. He groans when your tongue meets his, your bodies becoming hot despite the icy crystals falling down on you. You part from him, Mark chasing your lips in response, “Let’s go home and then we’ll talk.”
He swipes the remainder of your tears away, you nod. The whole time you walk home, Mark doesn’t let go of your hand. In fact, he holds your body close to his. You decide to go to Mark’s room tonight. He shuts his door, handing you a towel, “You shower first. I’ll go after.”
You protest, “I’m okay- I don’t really have anything to wear anyway.”
Mark throws one of his t-shirts and a pair of basketball shorts at you, “Wear these, I don’t want you to get sick.”
You smile, “Thanks.”
After a nice long, hot shower- the rain seems more peaceful outside of Mark’s dorm room window. The only light source he has is a lamp that sits on his desk, the print on the lampshade covered with lions. He must’ve had that when he was little. When Mark’s down showering, he wears a grey hoodie and sweatpants and you’d be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t want to kiss Mark again. He sits on his bed next to you, moving his guitar out of the way, “So, what happened?”
You sigh, “When I saw you with Lara, I couldn’t, I don’t know, see you with someone else.”
Mark chuckles, “Were you jealous?”
You look at him in the dark, punching his arm slightly, “No- don’t even dream of it.”
“What if I told you I was jealous of Haechan?”
You narrow your eyes at him, “You were?”
Mark rolls his eyes, “Are you kidding? He was practically whispering in your ear and being so close, you know he likes your right? He told me and I told him to go for it but I messed up, I shouldn’t have.”
You play with the frayed thread on Mark’s t-shirt, “He told me, I turned him down.”
“Why?”
“Ugh, you know why.”
Mark presses his finger to his eyes, covering his nose in embarrassment, “I like you y/n.”
You don’t even register when he says it.
You were still talking about something but you pause when Mark’s words echo in your head, “After that kiss? I was hoping that’s what you were going to say.”
You and Mark erupt into a giggling fit, shoving each other. Then Mark pulls out something from behind him, it’s the squashed white gift box. He bites his lip, causing it to glow pink, “I was planning on telling you today and giving you this but someone took off.”
“Sorry about that.”
Mark shakes his head, grinning. He pulls out a tiny, gold necklace that’s in the shape of a sun. Even in the dark, it glimmers. You touch it tenderly, afraid it’ll break in your fingertips, “You got this for me?”
Mark nods, “Can I put it on?”
You turn your back to him, holding up your hair in a ponytail for his nimble fingers to clasp the necklace onto your neck. The cold metal of it soothes your skin.
You touch it, running your fingers over the charm, “It’s beautiful, thank you. For the record, I like you too Mark.”
But in the back of your mind, there’s that shadow that always remains. It takes the form of fear, uncertainty- telling you that you do not deserve happiness or you do not deserve to love anyone. Still, it doesn’t stop Mark from leaning over to you and kissing you once again. He uses his fingers to trace your hair and the hollow of your neck, the side of your arm. It makes you shiver, it makes goosebumps rise in hills. You grasp his black locks, lips once again moving in a syncopated wave. Mark mumbles several hums, addicted to the taste of the way your lips feel. You want Mark. You want him so badly it kills you. You’re afraid to fall and it makes you want it even more. Pulling his hoodie, you fold your legs over his lap, straddling him. It makes him heated, blush spotting his cheeks and his neck. He runs his soft hands over the skin of your thighs and traces the waistband of your shorts. You’re trying your best not to lose self-control. It goes out the window when he removes his hoodie, his skin glowing under the lamp light.
You run your thumb across his collarbone and the curves of his abdomen and chest like you’re connecting constellations. You press your swollen lips to the base of his collarbone, rubbing your hand on the warm skin of his shoulder, “Have I ever told you that you’re gorgeous?
”Mark doesn’t answer, he’s busy tipping his head back, shutting his eyes from the feel of your lips on his skin. He opens his eyes before leaning over to move your hair behind your ear once again, nibbling on your earlobe. You accidentally moan when he moves to the juncture of your neck, it turns Mark on even more. He swipes his tongue by the base of your neck, “I.” A kiss. Don’t know if.” A kiss. “You remember this.” A kiss. Mark parts away to finish his sentence, “I remember you from that night at the hospital. Do you remember me?”
That’s when you snap out of it. You gaze back at him, replaying everything in your head. Your mom. The shrine. The gift. The sun and the rain. You slide off his lap, touching the area of your shoulder. The shadow in your mind, the voice in your mind telling you not to give in.
“Y/n? Is everything okay?”
You nod, “Yes, I remember you. When we first met, I said that we didn’t because everything that day was so blurry that I cut it out of my memories. But for what it is, I remember you.”
Mark looks sad, immediately regretting he even brought it up. You mold your hand to his cheek, “Hey, it’s okay. I’m glad I met you back then, that will never change.”
Mark opens his mouth to say something but closes it when he finds a spot pinging, a tiny glow appearing on his hand. When you look down too, a glow appears on the same spot of your hand. After a couple seconds, the glow forms into the shape of a sun, Mark’s name glowing above it. Mark’s glow forms into the shape of a raindrop, your name glowing on his hand in cursive letters.
You both look at each other and back to your hands, “Does this mean-”
He lets out a breath he’s been holding, “You’re my soulmate?”
While Mark’s ecstatic, you feel a weight just drop in your stomach. No. Not right now. Mark realizes you’re staring at your hand, you look as if you had just seen a ghost. You almost wished you had.
“Is everything alright? Did I-?”
Instantly, you grab Mark’s hands, “I need you to listen to me carefully okay?”
Your hands are shaking now and you feel like you’re going to burst into tears again. This is the worst thing that you can do to someone, this is why you were reluctant to have Mark in the first place. You love him so much you can’t bear to hurt him like this.
“Y/n… what’s happening?”
Slowly and delicately, you lift off Mark’s t-shirt over your head. Mark’s expression is utterly, painfully blank. He stares at you, unmoving.
“What is that?”
Though you’re in the dark, it shines brightly clear. The skin of your shoulder is completely coated with this invisible matter, tiny bubbles floating through it. It resembles the rain. The thing is consuming your shoulder and gaps of your chest are missing. No person could tell if they didn’t see your naked body.
Mark leans forward, running his hand over your shoulder, his fingers go right through your body like it isn’t there.
“Please tell me this isn’t real. This is just a joke right?”
You place your head in Mark chest, your arms hugging his bare waist, “I found out my gift comes with a price. My body is becoming a part of the weather, a part of the sky above. Ever since that day I stepped into the shrine on top of the hospital, I saw water floating upwards- this is the consequence for toying around with nature.”
Mark doesn’t say anything. He thinks for a moment. He grips the comforter you both sit on top of. Then, he speaks, “Can’t I fix this?! There has to be a way- maybe if I go to the shrine and figure something out-”
You release him, putting your hands on both sides of his face, “You can’t. I’ve tried everything. I even went to a priest, a shaman, anyone I could find. You heard about the forecasters talking about the floods right? As long as I’m here, this city will be underwater. I’m a glitch in the system. I’m the virus in the code, blocking the world from being natural.”
>I guess I don't really know who you are now
I guess that we met with our heads in the clouds
So I look for your name and I say it out loud
Maybe that makes you real
I don’t know how to feel
I guess I don’t really know who you are now
I guess that we met with our heads in the clouds
So I look for your name and I say it out loud
Maybe that makes you real
I don't know how to feel
Mark begins to cry. Tears fall from his eyes, dropping onto the skin of your hand. All you can do is hug him as tight as you can, fearful that if you let go- you can’t have him back, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m hurting you. I’m so so sorry.”
Mark sobs into your shoulder for the next hour or so. When he’s tuckered out from crying, you put him to bed, standing up to walk towards Mark’s desk. You decide to write letters to your aunt, Mari, and your friends. You even leave one for Lana. When you’re finished, you slip under the covers next to Mark. You use your fingers to touch his eyelids and his nose, his cheeks and the ruffle of his hair because you know it will be the last time. Pressing a kiss to his nose, you settle against Mark’s chest, knowing the sky will claim you in the morning.
In the morning
The next morning, Mark wakes up from what he thinks is a nightmare. He sweats profusely, he feels dehydrated,and his throat feels like it’s being ripped open. The worst part is when his heart begins to settle, he sees his own hoodie and basketball shorts where you had lay next to him. Though he wasn't awake, he remembers it all. He remembers you sitting at his desk, you kissing his nose. He remembers your warmth. This can’t be the end. Mark takes the first morning train to the hospital. He calls his friends, Jeno, Renjun, and Haechan to the hospital. Over the phone, he tells them he’ll explain later, he just tells them that you need them. They drive there as soon as the train departs. From arriving at the hospital, everything is like a blur. The hospital staff doesn't want to let some random teenage boy up onto the room, warily suspicious of the request.
That's when Haechan, Jeno, and Renjun risk it all for you and Mark, tackling and holding back the employees even if they’re radioing security at that very moment. Mark races up the stairs after grabbing the keys to the door, he remembers when those were his keys. He talks to himself. Please. Please. I have to see her. I have to see her one last time. He even prays to whoever’s up there about it. To his dismay, when he gets up there- he doesn’t see a shrine like you had described. He kicks the metal railing out of anger, screaming into the air as he calls out your name. He demands the sky to give you back. No one answers and it kills him.
From up there, you wake up in an unfamiliar scenery. You sit up, groggy from sleep. Looking down at your hands, you don’t believe it. Water takes the form of you, replacing your skin with invisible liquid. You’re sitting on what seems to be like a cloud, fish made out of rain droplets flying all around you in schools. When you look above you, it’s another world. A whale made of thunder clouds lets out a bellow, voices of children laughing when lighting strikes. There’s a castle floating in the distance, each level of the castle painted with different hues of color. It’s all eerily beautiful. Despite its beauty, no one’s around. You’re all alone.
You touch your shoulder, only feeling nothing but water. Your body isn't real. It means the sky has completely and entirely claimed you. That’s when you feel a cold metal thing hanging around your neck. Mark. Mark’s still down on earth. You begin to hold onto it, the chain slipping out of your fingers and through the cloud that you sit on, you scream Mark’s name as loud as you can. You cry and you scream, sobs wracking your entire body. That was the last piece you had connected to Mark, your soulmate. This is your consequence. What good are soulmates if there’s only one half to the whole? What is the point? Even so, you love Mark so much. You miss him.
Mark screams at the sky, tears lining his eyes. He sees something shine above him, dropping onto the pavement by his foot. When he crouches down for a better look, it’s the sun pendant that he gave you last night. He squeezes it in his hand, screaming for you. There is no answer.
In front of him, some shape materializes from a blurry image. When it focuses, it morphs into a red archway just as you had told him in the library. He runs up to it, desperate for any sign of you. He asks your name. Still, there’s no answer. He takes it upon himself to do the unthinkable. Maybe he’s crazy, maybe people will think he’s insane. He doesn’t care, all he wants is to see you. He steps under the red archway. He feels it within his body. The bells that hang by strings chime, the water from inside the stone fountain begins to flow upwards like slow motion evaporation. Then all of a sudden, he’s falling.
Winds rip his clothes and rip through his hair, he’s screaming. Everything is a blur of white clouds and flying animals made of water. He hears the thunder and sees the lightning too, it’s all consuming and real. He knows he’s not on earth anymore. That’s when the clouds begin to part, he sees you sitting there. You’re crouched up on a cloud, head buried in your knees. He screams for you, causing you to snap your head up at the voice. It can’t be. It can’t be Mark. But it is, the boy who is your soulmate is falling out of the sky above, emerging from the clouds and reaching out for you.
The wind gusts him away from the cloud you’re sitting on, “MARK!’
“Y/N!”
You don’t care at this point. You jump off your cloud, the wind current carrying you to Mark before you’re free falling with him. You outstretch your hand to him, your voice can’t be heard in the screaming wind. He reaches to you, straining his face while doing so. When he manages to grab hold of you, he’s surprised to know it feels like he’s holding a person given your body. You fall together, hands enclasped in hands. You yell, “What are you doing here?! You shouldn’t be here!”
Mark holds on so tight, “I had to see you! I’m not letting you go, I don’t care! Aren’t you my soulmate? You have to stay with me!”
“Mark, if I go back down there, we all have to pay the price. Just let me go!”
“I’m not doing it y/n! I won’t do it! I don’t care! I choose you over the weather! I choose you over the sky! I just need you.”
You smile at him. Oh, Mark. Then, something else happens. Mark’s teardrop starts to glow golden, the light enveloping the entirety of his arm and spreading to his body. Even though your hand is made of water now, your sun starts to ping in syncopation with Mark’s mark. Golden light shimmers, rays exploding like sunshine as Mark holds you close. He’s there and he’s real, you can smell his scent of body soap that he uses, he’s so warm. The world blurs together in a series of colors and emotions, blues and yellows and silvers. It’s layers of rain and layers of snow, it’s as if you’re falling out of the cosmos and it’s endless.The sensation of falling ends. You open your eyes slowly, you find yourself cradled in Mark’s chest on the hospital’s rooftop. Your head aches and it throbs like hell, but still, you jump back when you realize that your body isn’t liquid anymore. Mark pulls your shirt down to check your shoulder, it’s nothing but human flesh and bone. You gaze back at Mark, “You saved me. You pulled me back down.”
It doesn’t take any time for Mark to kiss you the hardest he’s ever kissed you. You both sit there for a while, cradled in each other’s arms. Mark digs his nose into your neck, “I can’t live without you. You’re my soulmate, there’s no one else.”
You nod as you run your fingers through his hair, “You and me against it all then.”
1 year later
>Where did the time go?
Where did the time go?
When did you become someone I used to know?
Where did the time go?
After the day that Mark pulled you down from the sky, you thought that you’d spend every second with each other after. Instead, it was the opposite. Because you were on earth, the rains and the flooding never stopped. You weren’t able to control the weather anymore and the outcome that the forecasters had predicted became true. Almost 50 percent of the city was already underwater and still sinking, many people died trying to escape the floods or had to quickly evacuate. It disrupted everyone’s lives but at the time, Mark thought it was worth it for you. After that day, you told him you decided on something. You told him that you loved him and that you’d always find your way back to him, no matter what. After all, soulmates become linked. During your last semester of university, you wanted to spend time with your family and to travel the world with your aunt- in case the sky were to claim you once again. In case you were told that the world would end tomorrow, you wanted memories that lasted and time to tell all the people in your life that you loved them. You wanted to heal from your past, trying to find ways to connect to your parents like meeting their relatives or reading your father’s journal.
Somehow, Mark took it well. Though he was sad for several days, as were your friends that you were leaving (yes, you explained to them the entire situation, they still have a hard time believing it). You knew that things would change. You’d pick up small updates here and there, graduation was approaching and Mark had chosen to participate in a training program to become a singer. Haechan found his soulmate at his work, the other boys doing their own thing. You hadn’t seen Mark in almost an entire year. Now, today was the day that you and your aunt would be coming back from a backpacking trip in Europe. You knew Mark would also be coming home the same day. On the plane, you thought: Did he forget you? Would he have found someone else? Does he remember it all?
The moment you landed, you changed at home- walking over to the coffee shop where you and Mark had planned business meetings frequently back then. Walking through your city felt nostalgic to you, the way your younger self ran through the streets, praying for tomorrow’s sunshine or the way you and Mark would hang out together most weekends. Even the memories of hanging out with your friends before class, walking Mosby with your aunt during the autumn season, and pasting photographs on your dorm room wall felt like long ago. Upon entering the establishment, you closed your umbrella before taking a seat at an empty table. A barista took your order, who happened to be one of your other classmates from university. Even seeing them after a year, which isn’t too long- still felt surreal.
The bell on the cafe’s door chimes, the barista at the counter greeting the stranger. That’s when a familiar voice makes you snap your head up. There he is, standing in the flesh in front of you. Mark sports black dress pants and a button up, his figure taller, leaner- more muscular, has he been working out? Mark’s hair is gelled back, different from how he looked before. It looks good on him. His familiar smile spread across his face, a teardrop glowing golden on his hand, “You seem familiar. Have we met before?”
You nod, running into his welcoming arms.
@czennienet @neowritingsnet @dreamwritersnet
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