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crowdedimagines · 5 years

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Break In - David Dobrik

“Alright babe, we’ll be back later tonight.” David leans down to press a kiss to my temple. He already knows that he won’t be able to drag me out with them tonight. I have too much work I need to do, and David knows I need to finish that and stop stressing before I can do crazy vlog related things.

“See you later.” I grin looking over my shoulder.

“Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

I focus back on my laptop so I can keep on working while they go out. David needs content, and us being a group on our twenties, everyone wanted to go out. I stayed back so I could finish my work and hopefully be to bed early for the first time in weeks.

I work on the essay that will be due soon, until it gets dark out. Finally, after checking everything and making sure it’s perfect I shut my laptop. I walk to David’s bathroom, knowing that I’m staying here as I do most nights.

I grab my toothbrush a loud crash which makes me jump and hear people talking.

“Babe, are you back already?” As soon as I call out to my boyfriend, the voices stop. A sinking feeling fills my stomach and I can’t explain it. I walk out to David’s bedroom and peek out the door into the living room.

It’s still dark in the living room, but my eye catches on the shattered glass by the patio door. The feeling of unease grows again. Someone broke into the house. I run back into his room and shut the door as quietly as I can, though I’m sure whoever is here heard me talking earlier. I switch the lock and take several steps back.

It’s too quiet in the house. All I can hear is my heart beating loudly in my chest, but my attention is suddenly drawn to the doorknob which is shaking vigorously. Fight or flight, I bolt to the bathroom and lock the door again, leaning against it taking deep breaths.

“My phone.” I whisper, I realize it’s sitting on David’s bed. I quickly open the door again so I can grab it. I dial 911 as I slowly slide down the wall of shower. I give them all of the information they need and they tell me they’re sending officers to the scene.

“Ma'am I need you to stay on the line with me.” I listen to him and answer more questions while we wait. He informs me that officers have arrested the suspects and I hear a knock on the door.

I have to answer more questions with the officers outside. There are two men that the arrested for breaking onto the premises.

David’s Tesla pulls into the driveway and I can tell by his expression he’s absolutely confused by what’s going on. I should’ve called him, but I’ve been too distracted.

“What’s going on?” David asks, looking around at the two different police cars with lights on and the two officers that I’m talking to.

“Someone broke in.” I explain, haphazardly pointing to the two men sitting in the backseat of the cop car.

“What?” David practically shouts. “How could this happen?

“They said they didn’t think anyone was home. They had been following your story and saw that you weren’t home.”

“Oh my god.” I mutter.

“That’s fucking insane.”

I only answer a few more questions before they leave. David and I agree to press charges. Natalie, Erin, Carly, and Zane finally get out of the car when the cops are leaving. They ask another round of questions that I don’t feel like answering.

“You guys, can we get some space?” David asks, they nod and head inside leaving just David and I outside the front door.

“Are you okay?” His arms are around me before I can answer the questions and I shake my head against his chest.

“That was the scariest thing I think I’ve ever experienced.” I feel a couple of tears rolling down my cheek.

“I am so sorry. This is all my fault.” With the way David’s chest shakes I’m sure he’s crying too at this point.

“David.” I pull away so I can look up into his watery eyes. He can’t look at me the first few seconds, but I wait until he does to continue, “This is not your fault. Someone else’s actions aren’t your fault David.”

“If I hadn’t been posting-”

“They still would’ve done it eventually. The people who do things like this are inevitable. This is not your fault.”

After a while of just crying and hugging we both make our way inside. They cleaned up the glass and we put cardboard up where the patio used to be. After everyone leaves and it’s time to go to bed, it's hard. David’s hand on my waist makes me feel safe. It’s about a half an hour after everyone left and neither of us are asleep yet. Natalie knocked and slept on the lovesac in the corner because she was too scared to sleep in her room. We were all affected by the break in.

David doesn’t post anything for a few days on his story, confusing fans. It doesn’t feel right to him, I’ve moved on from the scary situation for the most part but he still seems to be stuck in it.

“Hey, baby.” I grin, flopping down on the bed next to him.

“Hey.” He looks at me over the edge of his laptop.

“Editing?” I ask, unable to see what’s on his screen.

“Actually, I’m looking at houses.”

“You’re what?” I sit up with shock.

I look around to his screen and see that he is in fact looking at houses online.

“This one is in a gated community. What happened last week wouldn’t be able to happen ever again.”

“Dave-”

“No seriously, it’s got a really nice view too.”

“This house has a nice view too.” I counter.

“The fans know where this house is.”

I roll my eyes and grab lightly on his jaw so he’s forced to look at me.

“David, you already installed another security system here. You love this house.”

“No, loved it. I can’t love it after that. You could’ve been seriously hurt, Y/n. Do you know how lucky I am? If anything had happened to you-”

He stops himself as he takes a big breath to avoid getting worked up.

“But I didn’t. I’m here. I’m fine. All of us are fine.” I brush back his hair off of his forehead, “Let’s just take things a little slower.”

David listens, thankfully. He does however post a video to his channel that it only a couple of minutes explaining what happened. He also threatens that if anything like that ever happens again, the vlogs will never be the same. It includes moving and not ever vlogging in the new home.

“Do you feel better?” I ask, leaning over his shoulder as he sees all of the comments apologizing for other people in the fan base. It’s great to see the fans that agree and recognize that it’s not okay. They’re the ones that make it all worth it.

“A bit, yeah.” He smiles.

It takes a while for everyone to move on. The new patio door is installed, making it look like nothing ever happened, but it still stuck with us. Most nights I still spend at David’s, he doesn’t like it if I spend the night anywhere by myself now. Even my apartment, it’s been on camera so he doesn’t want to chance anything.

“Will you move in with me?” David asks out of the blue, his hands stroking the back of my head.

“What?” I smile, turning to face him.

“I can’t sleep without you here anymore. I love you, and nothing makes me happier than waking up next to you. You practically already live here with how many nights your here. I know that maybe you don’t want to live in this house-”

“David yes.” I lean in to peck his lips.

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.” I grin, “I love this house.”

“How can you love it after the break in?”

“Because it has everything. It’s the house where we first hung out, first kiss, first time having sex.” I laugh, “This is the house I fell in love with you in, one night isn’t going to ruin that.”

“Well when you put it that way.” He rolls his eyes and leans closer to connect our lips. After we break apart he peppers my face in kisses all over making me breakout in laughter.

Yet another thing I love about this house, it’s always filled with laughter.

sorry it’s been a while my loves! college and a nasty flu have been kicking my ass! i’ll be trying to post more:)

#david dobrik imagine #david dobrik imagines #david dobrik x reader #david dobrik x read #david dobrik x you #david dobrik #david imagines #David's Vlogs #vlog squad imagines #vlog squad

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arethereanyoriginalusernames · 3 years

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I’m sorry

I’m sorry to my followers, my mutuals, and most of all, to put I call friends. I’m so, so sorry

I know at least one person’s going to want to reblog this, saying that I’m not a shitty person. Well, this post is for you I guess. I hate just being here, trying to convince myself and others that I’m a good person, but really I’m not. I’ve ruined potential friendships and actual friendships over and over again. All because I want people to validate me, because I want people to pay attention to me, because I think that what I think needs to be shared with everyone.

I’ve wasted people’s energy, time, and I think I might have ruined at least one person’s offline life because I thought I could help them when I had no place to do so.

If for whatever reason you don’t think I’m awful after this, well I guess I can’t stop you. But I hope that this might finally get people to recognize that I’m not someone worth supporting. Enjoy my content if you want, but don’t pretend that I am, by myself, an enjoyable person.

1. My “contribution” to the Zoophobia fandom

You know, there’s nothing on my blog that I’m more ashamed of than my Zoophobia critiques? Back when I first started on tumblr, my pretentious ass thought that I was going to be super special and become “a zp critic who didn’t hate Vivziepop and enjoyed her content”.

Yes, I was that up my own ass.

At the time, the only zp critics I knew of were the ones on the bad wiki forums and the late Zoophobia Critiques account. Which, for the record, I still agree that a lot of the criticism gave there was super spiteful and overblown. I gave the excuse that we could learn how to improve our own writing by analyzing works we love when I was criticizing a 4 and a half chapter webcomic the creator wasn’t proud of.

You know, I’m at a loss for how nobody has called my critiques out for being misinformed, disorganized, poorly spelt, and like someone who just heard of writing criticism and was parroting stuff they heard on a YouTube video. My criticism of how Addison’s ptsd was handled was disgusting, and my criticism of Jack was vague and was clearly a reach.

And my non critical Zoophobia content wasn’t even that good. I made a bunch of nothing posts that only discussed a couple or one character ever, and they were so stupid.

Then there’s how I acted during the pre Hazbin Hotel Vivziepop drama. You know, where I acted like a deluded three year old? Voicing “my concerns”, and totally not babbling a bunch of nonsense and pushing it onto others. I remember how one former mutual of mine, Lisaury, rightfully “burst my bubble” (that’s how they put it) by pointing out my flawed information.

I honestly don’t blame Lisaury for never talking to me again. God, I barely spoke to her to begin with. Just sent her worthless post after worthless post.

My “criticisms” of Vivziepop were idiotic at best, and now? Zoophobia and criticism of it may have resurfaced thanks to Bad Luck Jack, but this only made me realize how nothing my posts were.

Other critics would just call me a wishy washy sheep, and fans would rightfully see me as an idiot if I posted now what I posted then. Ever since the short, I’ve been fearful of someone finally pointing out my bullshit, making it clear to everyone how awful my content was. And I feared it because I knew it was true. I just didn’t want other people to realize it.

Fuck, you’d at least expect someone to notice how much of a dickhead I was when critiquing people’s fanfics.

2. Art / characters

In 2020, someone invited me to join an art discord, and I created an account to do so. This discord had actual artists, many who had been to art school. So when my self taught, delusional self posted art into a criticism channel, they rightfully tore it to shreds. Called it out for the lacklustre, mediocre anime garbage it was. Gave me advice, and pointed out exactly what was wrong with it. One person made a very accurate description of it. “It looks like something someone drew on those shitty phone apps without a pencil”. And they were right.

And how did I react?

I had a meltdown, deleted a bunch of my art and posts, ran crying to a bunch of people, desperate for validation, because I, someone who made criticism posts, couldn’t handle actual criticism. And the same group rightfully called me out on it. I lost the log in info for my first account, so I don’t interact with that group anymore, but I should have listened. They rightfully pointed out how all my male characters looked like traps and how my art lacked any artistic skill. And what did I do? I screenshoted what they said and showed it to others, like “omg, pity me!”

I can’t look at my old art without wanting to vomit. I still can’t understand how anyone can enjoy what I make, despite people telling me that they do. Especially when they make better art than I ever could.

And despite how shit it looks, I just shove art and all posts I make in people’s face, because they “have to look at it and pay attention to it”

3. Such a great “friend”

I don’t have conversations with people anymore. The majority of my Tumblr conversations are filled with me sending post after post after post, weeks with just my fucking stupid posts, because they totally matter so much. I barely have any conversations with anyone anymore, and I don’t even return the favour of reblogging their content. Because after all, I need my friends with bigger follow counts to reblog my stuff. That’s the only way my posts get attention and I get validation, after all. Seriously, look at posts reblogged by eclecticcoyote, and compare the notes there to those he doesn’t.

If I didn’t constantly send people like him posts, expecting a reblog, I probably wouldn’t have followers. I know my content wouldn’t get any attention without his help, and I feel disgusting because it just feels like I’m taking advantage of someone’s audience.

Although it’s probably better I don’t talk to people whatsoever. One friend I have... well had, I don’t expect him to contact me ever again. I’ll refer to him as B for now. B was dealing with issues related to his mental health and offline life. I initially reached out to him after he made a post about having no friends

And then I didn’t message him for a while and was surprised when he told coyote that he felt like I didn’t care about him.

I started crying at him like “I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry” (no I’m not kidding). I ended up talking with him through several emotional break downs, because I didn’t want him to kill himself. I had the nerve to talk like I knew what I was talking about during those times. I gave unhelpful advice, like “go for a run”, “punch a pillow”, etc. Hell, one time, I had the audacity to say that it felt impossible to talk to him because it didn’t seem like he wanted to listen to people trying to help him, and that he only heard what he wanted to hear.

And I shoved my personal issues onto him as well. Because, again, my life is so important.

Then, at some point he developed feelings for me. I don’t feel the same way about him. And at this point, he sees me as one of the people who have helped him out the most with his issues (ironic, considering how I likely just made his life worse). So, what did I do when he confessed to me?

Oh, you know, instead of being mature and responsible, I panicked, got another friend involved because “I don’t know how to deal with this 😭😭😭”, made B upset and depressed all over again, and I basically got someone else involved in what was a personal moment for him, betraying his trust and throwing privacy out the window.

I tried to apologize the next morning, but it was too late. I honestly hope he doesn’t try to contact me again, and realize that I have, and can only make his life worse.

I constantly keep freezing out friendships on here by not actually talking to people and just sending them post after post. Recently, one person who reached out to me and tried to be my friend? Looking at past conversations with her, I come off as disinterested in her and dismissive. I might not have intended to, but...

Oh, and then Coyote invited me to his discord server. I recently started deleting all my posts on there, so that nobody would have to waste time scrolling through my bullshit. I shit you not, I would go on essay long tangents about my characters and art, while, comparatively, the attention I gave to others’ content was close to none. And in the first couple months there? I still tried to help people when I clearly couldn’t.

For fucks sake, I even dragged people there into my own personal irl drama when they didn’t need it. The night I self harmed in front of my parents, I should have kept it to myself because I. Knew. That people there would become distressed by it. But nope, because my problems are so important.

I would say dumb shit that ended up upsetting people, I would post over people, and overall just act like a self entitled, annoying bitch.

Just yesterday? Someone I considered my friend shared an image of some characters of hers that were in a polyamourous relationship. And what did my dumbass do?

“You know, I find people in poly relationships admirable bc I have trouble hanging out with more than one person irl bc lol social anxiety and lalala, lemme make this all about meee~!”

And then someone replied saying that they don’t understand poly relationships but support them, then I’m pretty sure the who posted the picture got uncomfortable at that point.

And wouldn’t you know it, recently that person announced that they were taking a break, which hey fine, and they mentioned that some of the stuff said on the discord was upsetting them.

Gee, I wonder who contributed to that?

And then there’s my constant validation seeking, me being silly during situations where the person needs me to be serious, my overall inability to respond in a way someone should whenever people don’t enjoy things I suggest or share...

Look, maybe I’m overreacting and being stupid. Wouldn’t surprise me. I currently have no friends outside of discord and tumblr, and I’m constantly disappointing my family and everyone around me by always failing at everything no matter what.

I just don’t know what to do with myself anymore. I don’t even know if this is just me attempting to get validation or what.

I just... can’t do anything. I can’t trust myself to do anything. If someone requests that I do something, then fine I guess, but

I don’t want to hurt anyone else

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goldenhour-goldenboy · 5 years

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@detectivegordons So I saw you were looking for new youtube channels to check out and boy, do I have some gems for you. I started writing this as a normal ask but it quickly got waaay too long so we’re doing a classic text post + add where I can comfortably link the channels and also the rest of my peeps can check them out if they’re interested. So. Let’s divide and conquer:

Cooking

Bon Appétit (Test Kitchen) - One kitchen. Various series with their own themes and style by a specific cook. We have Claire who does ‘Pastry Chef attempts to do x/y/z’ of snacks and treats (e.g. ‘Pastry Chef attempts to make Gourmet Twizzlers’, ‘Pastry Chef attempts to make Ferrero Rocher’) and it’s a delight to watch her struggle through the process of replicating it as closely as possible. There’s also Brad doing ‘It’s alive’ featuring everything involving Fermentation, basically. The editing on this one is the best. There’s Carla inviting celebrities and doing follow alongs and back to back cooking. Ugh, and so many more, I love them all!

House Renovations

Wabi Sab-E - Follow this couple on their journey to renovate and old barn doing everything by themselves - construction, pluming, painting, tiling. It never gets boring due to the faster pace of the video and the really thought out and lovely edit. They’re a cute, genuine couple with two dogs and a cat as far as I can recall and just in general awesome folks.

Madeleine Olivia - Apparently she does lifestyle as well but I only watch her renovating videos. She and her boyfriend (fiance/husband??) bought a very cute cottage and just started remodeling the whole thing. She’s not as knowledgable or skilled as the other channels but watching her talk throughs and bringing bits and pieces together really calms me down.

Three Birds Renovation - Now, this is a professional channel. The three birds are three ladies from Australia renovating whole properties and really glamming up the lots. This isn’t diy it’s full on money and glam but if you want to watch houses getting remodeled and basically almost built from scratch again, this is your channel. They usually take on a house and then upload each room as a separate video. My favorite (as I guess most people’s fav is) is their forever home series where they each do their own houses and really kick it out of the park. Extravaganza.

Lifestyle

Liziqi - A fairy queen from another realm. Absolute beauty shots of her doing her daily life, ranging from picking wild mushrooms, building a love seat from scratch with bamboo, making her own tools, cooking in a self made stone stove. No dialogue, mainly just music and her occasionally trying to keep the sheep from eating her cabbage. You NEED to watch at least one of her vids, I cannot describe this to you!

Claire Marshall - Claire makes beautifully edited lifestyle vlogs featuring fashion, travel, reconnecting with her past, her cat, make up, drafting/doodling or just life and her thoughts on it in general. She has a much more calmer vibe which I personally prefer to a louder and up beat video personality and her flow, aesthetic and visual presentation really drew me in.

Grackle - A cute little every day vlogger from England. Nothing fancy, nothing out of the box, just plain good and old vlogging and following her around. She’s an absolute dork, a gentle soul and I find her family very funny and relating, lol.

Damon & Jo - They used to do a lot of travel vlogs and I mainly followed them because of their older videos, now they’re both kinda doing their own thing but they’re still great, still traveling the world on a low budget. They’re very very talented when it comes to languages and I find them going on adventures in foreign countries highly amusing.

Eve Cornwell - Eve is a soon to be proper lawyer currently finishing her masters degree (I think?? I need to catch up on her, lol). She drinks too much coffee, is a relatable student who struggles through her workload and shows you what it takes to get that law degree. Also her editing is just *chef kisses* super cute.

Booktube

Paperbackdreams - I just saw a few of her vids bc I’m mainly not that much into booktube but her video about after just had me snorting all the way through so maybe you enjoy that. Also, a very small curly haired bean.

LilyCReads - Lily got famous for her rant videos and I just love how she picks apart shitty plots. Mainly, because she swears a lot. But she also has a series of her reading the Harry Potter books for the first time and I quite enjoyed them. Simple, very entertaining.

Readwithcindy - Only watched a few of her videos but I love her style and her vibe a lot. Also, she has the same favorite books as I do so ... maybe that’s a reason as well. Oh, yeah. And we share the depression part and I can relate on t h a t.

Movie Commentary

Dylan is in Trouble - Basically a dude watching our favorite chick flicks, guilty pleasure or teenage obsession shows and comments on them. That’s it. That’s the whole content. He started a series where he was watching the cringiest shows and see how much he could take and it basically evolved from that to .. watching movies and commenting/ranting/questioning various parts that we all questioned.

Alex Meyers - Alex comments on shows and sums up weird stories very well and he does so with the help of animation. Basically, he’s an artist making fun of weird shows but it’s very light hearted and mostly not ill intended. Also, his animations feature his dog so if that doesn’t get you selling idk what does.

Trin Lovell - She’s like Dylan. But female. And asian. And much more energetic but just as funny (if not even more). Also, way more edited and dramatic but I like it. So, yeah, a movie commentary channel watching everything from Twilight to Riverdale, lol.

Art

Emily Artiful - I mainly followed her because of her Sketchbook Storytime videos where she draws and chats/rants to her viewers at the same time and it’s not only beautiful but highly amusing as well. Love her presence and her way of telling a story and getting riled up about it.

Documentary/Personal

Max Joseph - I know, it’s the guy from Catfish but hear me out. He’s got like 2 vids up where he really took the time and effort and met with very interesting peeps. One of the videos is about if you need to be an asshole to make it as a director in the movie industry. The other one is book related, how to read more books and such and I found them highly intriguing and fascinating! He doesn’t have that many videos yet but those two are like an hour long so grab a snack, sit back and enjoy!

Film Analysis/Video Essays

Now, those are channels focusing on movie analysis and explaining shots and film for you and why we, as the audience, feel a certain way because we’ve been set up. So if you’re interest in that (I LOVE those) that might be your niche. They’re mostly doing the same thing so I’m just gonna link their channels down below!

Lessons from the Screenplay

Nerdwriter1

Sideways

Tyler Mowery

Let me know if you knew any of those already or if you liked any of them! :)

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bts-speakyourself · 5 years

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20 to One Incident 😬

⚠️Warning: If there is any wrong information in this blog please let me know! I don’t want to give any false information. I’m going to try to not make this blog to long.

If you’ve been on Twitter for the past two days and you’re an ARMY, you know better than anyone how other ARMYs have felt when it came to a segment covering BTS. An absolutely racist and disrespectful segment. To those who might not know here’s a summary of the situation:

Summary:

20 to One is an Australian TV show (on Channel 9) and basically they countdown the top 20 global crazes placing BTS as No. 18 and let me tell you, once the segment was released there were at least three hashtags that were trending on Twitter overnight.

#channel9apoligiz(s)e

#channel9apoligiz(s)etoBTS

#fireAlexWilliamson

Don’t worry, I promise the third hashtag will make sense as I go on. Rather than writing what happened in the segment, the following tweet has the full two minute segment that was covered about BTS. If I’m being honest.....I wasn’t even able to watch the whole thing AT ALL.

There are a few common words that ARMY has used to describe this segment which are:

Disgusting

Racist

Xenophobic

Disrespectful

Then amazingly enough when things were already on fire, more wood was added by Alex Williamson who didn’t post one, but many more tweets adding to the fire. The following was the first tweet that he has posted supporting the segment of 20 to One.

Honestly, the various replys that ARMY made were amazing! There is one tweet that actually caught my attention which was, “Us 14 y/o’s also sold out a 3.5 star wine that Jungkook drank. Don’t forget that.” This reminded me when Jungkook revealed what fabric softer he used and the next thing you know, it was sold out. 😂

The obvious thing ARMY asked for was an apology from those involved in the segment, and I believe a representative of Channel Nine as well for letting them air the segment, since many ARMYs did mention that it did not follow an regulations and was considered defamation. This was what we got:

“As a lighthearted entertainment program, it is our belief that last night’s episode of 20 to One, which highlighted the ‘Greatest Global Crazes’, did not breach any broadcast regulations, and was intended to humorously highlight the popularity of the group. We apologise to any who may have been offended by last night’s episode.”

As for Alex.....let’s just say he didn’t really apologize at all and still kept being quite disrespectful.

End of Summary

I hope the summary helped you guys of the current situation! Now this is my opinion on the situation currently.

I honestly agree with how racist it is and it’s disrespectful as well knowing how hard they worked throughout their career and the tough times they went through. Of course I would like to give my opinion on the whole segment but that’s going to take too long so I’ll give my opinion on four things, three from the segment and the fourth opinion will be about the apology.

‘only one member actually speaks English’

As we know, Namjoon is amazing at English and learned it by watching the American show Friends. But pointing that out that’s a way of belittling them. As ARMYs we know that they try to at least speak a bit of the language for the fans so they can communicate us which is honestly amazing. I’m sure if they wish it, they would want the ability to speak all languages to be able to speak out to us and to able to express more of themselves. But because of their actions we know that they love us hence the quote, “actions speak louder than words.”

Gangster names

This was a bit of a surprise when I first heard it. As I mentioned I didn’t see the full segment because I couldn’t bare to watch anymore. But then I saw this floating around, so I’m guessing they mentioned it towards the end of the segment. I did a bit of research about stage names because my arrogant self didn’t really question why any Kpop idol had a stage name. So this is what I dug up.

I’m still a bit iffy about the process of choosing a stage name but I read that they really don’t have a choice and that their stage name is chosen for them, but idols can later on change their stage name if they wanted to. But the question is why do they have stage name in first place? Apparently it’s so that they can attract more people because they believe that by having an “old” sounding name they wouldn’t attract many people. Some idols tho, have a special meaning behind their stage maybe even a special reason.

J-Hope

The reason why his stage name is J-Hope is because he hopes he can become people’s hope. Hence the introduction “I’m your hope, you’re my hope, I’m J-Hope.”

Suga

Suga on the other hand was a stage name that was given to him from BangPD I believe. The reason why Suga was chosen is because his smiles are sweet like sugar.

Another example is RM. Now here’s the thing, RM changed his stage name. Currently the initials of his stage name means Real Me and I’m guess what that means is that he’s showing ARMYs the real him. Now what about Rap Monster? Well I’m just going on a whim here and guess that the reason for the previous stage name is because of his amazing ability of rapping. Honestly I’m not going to talk about the other stage names he had cause that’s going to take too long. 😂

Last but not least, V! If you’ve been an ARMY even before the debut of BTS then you know very well that V was th last member to be introduced to BTS. During the time they wanted to make V like the mystery member and kept him hidden in hopes to attract more people. He was given the choice between Lex, Six, and V. He chose V because the members thought it fits him well.

‘I’m going to say....hair products.’

As we already know, BTS was able to speak at the UN. Namjoon, gave a speech about self respect which was amazing and a huge accomplishment for their career. During the segment they did mention that they did indeed gave a speech at the UN so they did do a little research but what they said afterwards is flat out ridiculous. They said that the speech that they gave at the UN was most likely about hair products... I’m beyond speechless honestly.

Speech less because could you imagine how nervous they were? Could you imagine how much time they prepped and wrote and try to find out the right words to write such a great speech? It’s not like writing an essay for a school assignment, they’re writing for the public to hear and presenting to not just the leaders of the UN but to those who may be watching as well. It’s a big deal because they’ve been noticed and had made a great impact to us.

If you haven’t yet, I recommend watching the full UN speech!

youtube

I had to share but out of all the videos, Jimmy Fallon’s segment about the speech of the UN was amazing and cracked me up. 😂

youtube

Honestly the part where they made it so that a representative was hearing Fake Love when Trump was giving out his speech was amazing. 😂 Then came along a few minutes of roasting Trump was also funny.

Apology

So this will be my last opinion. What is my opinion about the apology that the representative of channel 9 gave and the tweet from 20 to One. Honestly... I’m not satisfied with it at all. I agree with ARMY that they need to publicly apologize for the racist and disrespectful segment. The way 20 to One apologized is not ok and it’s kinda like they’re not admitting to their fault. “Light hearted entertainment,” do you really think the whole two minute segment was “light hearted.”

No it’s not light hearted at all. They even made us look like crazy fans. But I don’t mind it because ARMY has accomplished a bunch of projects in honor of BTS. Projects like helping the environment, helping conserve the koalas (specifically in honor of RM). I mean, let’s not mention how litteraly there is a koala named Koya in a Australian zoo. ARMYs have donated to US organizations that assist disadvantaged kids around the world (specifically in honor of Suga). Then Mexican ARMY outdid themselves when they acted as a human barricade when BTS were arriving at the airport for K-Con Mexico!

Of course, there are many more projects that AMRYs have done in the past that we all need to be proud of. I’m also proud of the project as well that’s been done for the boys.

Last but not least Alex. He didn’t really give an apology at all and it’s really not worth mentioning it. If you want you can check it out through his Twitter.

Anyway, this is my opinion of the situation and what has happened so far. I’m going to end it here since this is already long blog.

I purple you guys! 💜 Let’s keep making BTS proud!

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reydarcy · 6 years

Text

The Hand Touch™ Masterpost

To take a hold of another’s hand is to break from living individually. It is to link yourself to another being, to momentarily entwine your life with another’s, to promise, for a moment, that you need not face the world alone. (via whitneyjustesen)

Since the Hand Touch™ is arguably the best scene in all SW movies The Last Jedi I wanted to compile all my thoughts and interpretations on it. I apologise in advance if I repeat something that’s already been said before (feel free to add any similar post in the caption).

Let’s start by describing what let up to this moment, shall we:

The Hand Touch™ via ForceTime - What happened beforehand

The Force Bond

One of the main motifs of The Last Jedi is the connection that the force created between our two love birds Kylo Ren/Ben Solo and Rey.

According to Wookiepedia a force bond is “a mental link between two Force-sensitive individuals, [that allows them] to see and hear each other from separate locations through the Force.”

In the novelization of The Last Jedi Rey describes their force bond as follows:

The connection between them was so raw and powerful that it reminded her of touching a live wire in the wreckage of a starship. (p. 181)

Although Kylo Ren’s and Rey’s force bond isn’t the first force bond (Count Dooku and Yoda being another example) it is extraordinary how strong their bond is. Not only are they able to see and hear each other across the galaxy, but they can also cough get wet, when it rains where the other one is...

(Source: skysilencer)

... and physically touch each other. They touch hands, while being miles and miles away from each other - and Kylo Ren actually gets momentarily transported to Ach-To, where Rey is. We know this, because when they previously saw each other via force bond nobody but Rey was able to see Kylo Ren (e.g. Luke). But when they touch hands, Luke walks into Rey's hut and catches them in bed cough.

Rey tentatively raised her hand towards his, expecting to see their hands go through each other and wondering if she would feel it in the Force somehow. But their fingers actually touched. She grasped his hand, jolted by contact, and saw that the same shock had gone through him. Luke Skywalker walked into the hut - to find Rey and Kylo with their hands clasped, staring into each other’s eyes. (p. 181)

(Source: Journal of the Star Wars)

He gets so angry, that he destroys the hut - which he wouldn't have done if he would have seen Rey merely reaching out to nobody.

The Cave on Ach-To & The Cave of Evil

Prior to their conversation in the hut, Rey had gone to the cave on Ach-to to explore the darkness that had called out to her whilst she was channeling the force in her first jedi lesson with Luke. She experienced something similar to Luke’s vision in the Cave of Evil on Dagobah in The Empire Strikes Back.

(Source: ign) Young Luke had to enter said Cave as part of his jedi training with Yoda. The latter described the Cave of Evil as follows: "That place… is strong with the dark side of the Force. A domain of evil it is. In you must go." (Wookiepedia) The jedi master not only challenged his padawan to face his fears, but also to face the dark side of the force.

Just as with Rey’s cave scene, there’s more to it than meets the eye.

A very insightful article on the official Star Wars website describes the cave as “[...] a powerful symbol of what lies beneath the surface”. Philosophically speaking it’s also “[...] a metaphorical journey into the window of one’s inner self”. Both Luke and Rey explore what lies beneath the surface - they try to get a deeper understanding of both themselves and the force.

According to the article the metaphor was used in classical mythology, such as Homer’s Odyssey, where the hero Odysseus “finds himself trapped with the beautiful goddess, Kalypso, as well as the Cyclops, Polyphemus. Odysseus faces both fantasy and fear, respectively, and has opportunities to learn from the experiences”. This translates well to our heroes Luke and Rey.

Both seek answers (Who am I? Where do I belong?) and need to get in touch with their past - their parents, respectively (Luke's father Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader; Rey’s abandonment by her parents) in order to find them.

The Force Awakens left many fans wondering about Rey’s heritage. They came into The Last Jedi, expecting to find answers - just like Rey herself. Rian Johnson wanted to see what lies beneath the surface, so he digged deeper - unlike many fans, who were so focused on Rey’s parents.

Rian’s hero Rey, explores her past and future self, and how they’re all connected to each other:

(Source: Star Wars)

At first, what they both see is what’s on the surface.

(Source: Wookiepedia)

Luke has to face Darth Vader. His father (but at this point Luke doesn’t know that).

(Source: katarainspace)

Rey is searching for her identity. And the mirror shows her the silhouette of her parents (her past) and then Ben Solo (her future).

(Source: instantstar)

But in the end, Rey’s and Luke’s revelation is the same. It’s all about self-discovery. That’s what lies beneath the surface.

(Source: Star Wars)

Rian Johnson explained in an interview:

And so the idea was if the up top is the light, down underneath is the darkness. And she descends down into there and has to see, just like Luke did in the cave, her greatest fear. And her greatest fear is [that], in the search for identity, she has nobody but herself to rely on. (via hiddenremote)

The article goes on to explain that “due to the overbearing presence of the Dark side at Dagoba, Luke envisioned the worst version of himself. However, due to the balance at Ahch-To, although Rey faced her worst fear, she ended up relieving herself from the burden of searching for her parents.”

So whilst her loneliness at first appears to burden Rey furthermore, it actually frees her of her past. Just like Kylo said “You have to let the past die.”. Up until this point, she’s still stuck in the past. Although she left Jakku behind, she didn’t leave her past behind. She needs to learn to stop waiting for her parents to come back.

But this revelation is hard for Rey to accept. She’s afraid and lonely, and she wants to talk to the one person, who’ll understand her feelings.

Curtain up for The Hand Touch Scene

Kylo listened intently, his long face impassive, as she told him about being drawn into the cave and into the stone, and how the journey had let to nothing, no revelation, except how alone she was. (p. 181)

They are both really emotional and vulnerable. Rey opens up to Kylo, and he listens to her. He cares about what she has to say and knows that all that she needs is someone to be there for her - someone to talk to.

She talks to him, because he knows the pull to the dark side and he understands what it’s like to actually explore it, instead of repress it (like Luke urges her to do).

But there is something else that is important: They both know what loneliness feels like.

This is perhaps the single most important aspect of their relationship. That’s what makes this scene so powerful. It establishes their deep understanding. Both of them have suffered abandonment. Before The Last Jedi it seemed to most people like those two had nothing in common - that they were polar opposites even. But this scene marks a turning point. Not only do they physically touch each other - they touch each other emotionally as well.

“You’re not alone,” he insisted, and she believed him.

“Neither are you. It isn’t too late.” (p. 181)

... and that’s when Rey reaches out to him. She doesn’t want them to be alone anymore.

The various meanings of The Hand Touch

Sex

Let’s start with the obvious:

If you haven’t heard of Rian Johnson calling the Hand Touch Scene “the closest thing we’ll get to a sex scene in a Star Wars movie” you’re either new to the Reylo community or new to the internet in general, because it literally

broke the internet

(Source: punkbitchreylo, full video: sleemo)

The sexual imagery is something many people have commented on already - but for the director to remark on this topic - now that’s a whole different topic. Rian Reylo Johnson intended the scene to be intimate and erotic.

With everything else one could argue that it’s all up to interpretation and that maybe we interpret a little too much into everything (although I believe that everything in a movie is indeed intentional and often has multiple layers to it) but this is very blunt. FOR EVERYONE IN THE BACK: There. is. sexual. chemistry. between. Ben. and Rey.

Even Mark Hamill has come out and commented on Rian’s remark. Although this shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone. Mark isn’t necessarily discrete in interviews ;)

(Source: pixelrey)

What makes this interpretation even more interesting is the fact that Ben takes off his gloves for the Hand Touch aka. Sex - so they’re basically having unprotected sex (I see Skywalker babies on the horizon).

Before I move on to the next topic, it’d like to recommend something to anyone who’d like to learn more about the sexual imagery in The Last Jedi: The lovely girls over at starwarsconnection made a great video essay about Sex in The Last Jedi & @skysilencer posted a great meta on the issue as well.

Rey makes the first move

(Source: rougeone/useramy)

(Source)

She can take care of her own, she’s done so her whole life. She get’s annoyed when Finn treats her like a damsel in distress, by taking her hand and therefore undermining her independence. Ben on the other hand respects her as his equal. And he waits for her to make the first move. She’s an independent, strong-willed women and he respects that. But she also waits for him to accept her hand. She doesn’t force it. So when they touch, it’s consensual. When we transfer this to the sexual context - it means that their sex was consensual.

Opening up to each other

When Rey reaches out to Ben in the hut - she’s opening herself up to him. Ben shows his trust as well. They’re out in the open - they show their feelings unapologetically. They don’t hold back. It’s like they’re standing naked in front of each other.

(Source)

Rey shows a steady hand. She trusts him completely. This is surprising to me - she’s the one who’s always lashed out. But I feel like she wants to belong so bad - that she’s very trusting.

(Source: reyloshionship)

Ben on the other hand is shaking. To me he’d always seemed more steady and on terms with everything that was happening between them. He’s so calm around her.

I guess it takes a lot for him to open up to someone. He’s got major trust issues. But who could blame him - after all his parents passed him on to Luke, because they were afraid of their own son, and Luke (almost literally) stabbed him in the back.

Not alone anymore

(Source: pixelrey)

As I’ve said before loneliness is an important aspect of their relationship - and it’s really important in this scene as well. After Rey’s experience in the cave, she’s very lonely. Ben get’s that. He’s lonely as well. So that’s one reason why they approach each other - to finally not be alone anymore.

The gloves

Kylo’s mask is his armour - his protection. By putting it on he distanced himself from his past, from his family and he created his new dark persona Kylo Ren.

(Source: pixelrey)

In The Force Awakens he wore his armour almost the entire time - he was Kylo Ren. The only time when he took of his mask was to talk to Rey. He opened up to her.

In The Last Jedi this facade begins to crumple. He sheds his skin. At first he destroys his mask and then he takes off his gloves to touch her. The gloves are part of his armour. By wearing gloves he doesn’t touch anyone directly. But he wants to be able to feel Rey’s hand. He undresses himself (figuratively speaking). He peels off, layer after layer - because he wants to connect to Rey on a deeper level, she touches him to his core.

(Source: driveresque)

Compare this to the throne room scene where he reaches out to her, with his gloves still on.

Some people separate Kylo Ren and Ben Solo. So I can imagine they perceive those two scenes somewhat like this:

(Source: spacemakeouts)

I however, disagree with this separation of character. He’s both personas. Everyone has a light and a dark side in them. Loving someone means accepting both the good and the bad qualities about the other one. That’s what both Rey and Ben have to come to terms with in Episode 9.

And I know that darthrenvan (and everyone who liked/reblogged the post) is with me on this one. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t care what you believe and how you interpret everything - to each their own. I just wanted to express my interpretation.

Foreshadowing & Redemption

Rey reaches out to help Ben Solo. She wants to redeem him, bring him home - to the light. Rey still thinks Black and White. He’s on the dark side and needs to be brought back to the Light.

The force flows through them, wants them to be near each other, brings them closer to one another - which is expressed through the Force Theme, that can be heard in the scene. The force stands for destiny.

He reaches out, because he doesn’t want them to be alone anymore (”You’re not alone” - meaning he wants them be together, he wants her to join him). As we’ll later see - he’s moved on from the Black and White to a sort of Grey Area. That’s where he sees them both - neither on the Light, nor on the Dark side.

But they’re approaching it from different stand points. That’s the reason why they’ll interpret the visions they both get whilst touching each other differently, and that’s ultimately the reason why their conversation after the throne room fight plays out the way it does.

However, it also foreshadows a possible redemption after this misunderstanding causes their opposing standpoints to clash. The way I see it the Hand Touch Scene foreshadows how Rey’s the one who’ll initiate Ben’s Redemption in Episode IX, but it’s Ben who has to decide to redeem himself, by (figuratively) taking her hand. That’s also why she leaves him at the end of The Last Jedi. She understands that it’s up to him. That she did all she could, but that ultimately it’s up to him to save himself.

If you’ve made it this far: Thank you so much for reading my post. Please feel free to leave a reply - i’d love to hear your thoughts.

Further Reading: There’s an amazing text post by reyloisthelastjedi that explores the various meanings of the hand touch scene. It talks about different aspects than the ones I’ve expressed, so it’s a great addition to my post.

P.S. I’m still pissed that they didn’t choose this take for the movie:

(Source: skyloren)

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mara-twins · 6 years

Text

3 Years - Part One

Author: @weird-sensation

3 years. You have known these 7 wonderful guys for 3 whole years. To be quite honest, it didn’t even feel like that long. You used to be a waitress at a restaurant downtown, and it was actually your last week there, when they all had piled in. The hostess sat them in your section, and told you it was a group of 7. You rolled your eyes, not really caring for groups larger than 4. They tend to be louder and not tip very well. Pulling the strings on your apron a bit tighter, you walked over to their table and low and behold, there they were. On the outside you were calm and collected (you were still at work, so you had to be professional), but on the inside, holy cookies and cream ice cream you were a wreck. This was your first encounter with someone famous, and it wasn’t just one, IT WAS ALL SEVEN OF THEM AT YOUR TABLE. Long story short, you got along nicely with them. Anytime you walked away to visit other tables, and go put orders in, you’d take a quick sneak peek at them, still dazed by the fact that your favorite male group was here. They stayed longer than most groups, just having a good relaxing time and truthfully, you didn’t want them to leave yet. By the end of the night, they were ready to head back to their hotel and prepare for a photo shoot they had the next morning. Everyone of them was so kind, they even wanted to hang out with you outside of your workplace. Thus, began a friendship that changed your life, obviously for the better.

3 years ago, you met them. You had accumulated a bunch of vacation days at your job, and decided you wanted to use most of them to go visit your seven lovely friends. It clearly wasn’t the first time you had flown out to see them, and it wasn’t going to be your last either. Getting off the plane and navigating through the airport seemed all too familiar, seeing as you’ve done this same routine every time you visit. They’d always tell you they want to pick you up and drive you to your hotel, but you’d always decline, knowing how crazy it’d be if someone spots them. Each time you visit, you stay at the same hotel, and ironically enough, the same room. You were always curious how that room was always available when you were here. Unpacking your clothes and hopping into a shower was the first things you did when you arrived. That long plane ride always wore you out, even if you were sleeping for most of the flight. Stepping out of the almost boiling hot water made you feel like a whole new person. It was already cold in Seoul, so the hot shower really livened you up after freezing your butt off at the airport. You never told them how long you’d wait for a ride, especially when it was cold out, because knowing them they’d rush to where you were to pick you up. You would always meet up on your second day, giving yourself ample time to rest and relax before you become face to face with a bunch of hyper crazed boys.

3 years of jokes, laughter, late nights, and take-out. You couldn’t have asked for better friends. They were always there for you, even if they had their own problems to deal with. At first, you never wanted to talk about things going wrong, always thinking your ‘normal people’ problems would be boring to them, even if they asked. Yet soon enough, you would all cram together in their dorm living room and vent. Obviously, their problems reside with; being sore from practice, jet-lagged from all the flights they take, missing home, and not getting enough sleep or enough to eat. Ah, the idol lifestyle. Your problems were more mundane; people in your classes were annoying to be around, professors giving way too many essays to count, rude and obnoxious customers at work, and not getting enough sleep some nights because you procrastinated on a project and need to get it done in the next 24 hours or you fail that class for the semester and then you’ll have to take it again which is a waste of money and time. You know, the ‘normal people’ lifestyle. They encouraged you to talk to them, even if they couldn’t give you a solution, just wanted you to know that all of them were there to listen and help any way they could. You did the exact same thing with them. Knowing some of them weren’t the type to express their problems or what they’re stressed about, you’d continuously tell them that you were always available to listen and help if you could. Even though it was normally just Jackson, Bambam, and Yugyeom who would talk about what was causing them to stress out so much, you still felt as if you were the happiest person alive. Yes, the things they’re expressing to you may not exactly be in your ball park, but you were always willing to listen and help, and they appreciated that. Sometimes, they would be missing their families while they were away, and they would send you a quick text saying how they were feeling particularly down that day, and you would drop whatever it is you were doing and send them the longest text you could. Explaining how you understood how they were feeling, and that their schedules would clear up soon, so they can go back home and spend time with their parents and siblings. You’d explain how you felt for them, but let them know that there are so many people out there right now who are eagerly waiting for their next concert, vlive, a video from their YouTube channel, or even simply a tweet or post on Instagram. You’d tell them that they are making so many people happy, by doing what they’re doing, and no matter what, they’d always have the love and support of their fans. After a while, they would thank you for the kind words you said, and tell you that they appreciate you as a friend. You would always be there to listen, even if it is Bambam texting you at 3am letting you know that he just picked out his flashy outfit for tomorrow, which would include 17 pictures of him in it from every different angle you could imagine.

Plopping yourself down onto the bed, you pull out your phone and post a new picture on Instagram. Nothing special, just the TV in the background and a thumbs up. You wrote a caption to go along with it,

“Made it. Flight was long as always, but I’m used to it. Got the same room as I always do, not sure how that happens, but I’m not complaining. Feels good, feels familiar. Ready for a great vaca. Get to see my fave boys tomorrow.”

Not even ten minutes later, you’re getting notifications.

‘333cyj333 liked your post and commented, jacksonwang852g7 liked your post and commented, mark_tuan liked your post and commented, bambam1a liked your post and commented, prdsdef liked your post, yu_gyeom liked your post and commented, pepi_jy_ liked your post.’

Looking at what they had commented, you smile at their dorkiness and sweetness. Your friendship with them wasn’t a secret, you had posted pictures with them all the time, and they did the same. One time, you had tagged along on one of their filming’s of Weekly Idol and you stood behind the cameras watching them dance around like idiots the entire time. On their breaks from filming, you’d sit next to them talking about whatever was coming to mind at that moment. Their crew knew you were friends, the filming crew knew you were friends, and now the hosts did too. They even came around and asked how you all met. You would laugh and explain to them how they walked into the restaurant where you worked and practically spent the whole night there, eating and talking to their hearts content, just having a good time off. You liked thinking back on all these memories you shared with them, it always made your heart swell with the love you have for the seven of them.

The next morning, you woke up to knocking on your door. You weren’t even awake when you dragged yourself up and out of the bed to answer the constant bumping of knuckles on wood. Slowly opening the door with hooded eyes that were ever so slightly closing with every breath you took, you see Mark and Youngjae beaming at you. Blinking once more, you turn away from the door and walk back over to the bed and crawl back under the covers, mumbling very quiet profanities the entire time. Hiding in your cocoon of blankets, you hear a door close and feet walking towards you. The pillow you had your head rested on gets yanked out from underneath you, and starts hitting your coma-like-state body. You didn’t need to see who it was, because you already knew. Youngjae always seemed the most excited when you visited, and you were the closest to him out of all the guys, so it wasn’t out of the ordinary for him to act like this.

“Isn’t it 8am? Why are you here? Why are you up?”

You groaned, rolling onto your other side,

“Who cares? We need to get an early start. You’re here now, so get up.”

Youngjae spoke, a little too enthusiastically for this hour,

“Youngjae, get off the bed and let her wake up properly.”

You hear Mark say as he pulls the younger one by his arm. Slowly emerging from the bedding, your rub you face, staring at the two, who were now sitting on the nearby chairs.

“Let me get ready, I guess. You two are buying me coffee...waking me up this early. Youngjae doesn’t even wake up until noon on your days off, so why are you this chipper?”

“You’re here! We haven’t seen you in almost 7 months.”

It was true, it has been awhile since you last got together, and you did miss them, so you couldn’t be mad at the kid. Walking over to the dresser, you grab the clothes you planned on wearing, and headed off to the bathroom to get ready.

After you finished, you open the door and see them watching TV waiting for you. It had only been around 30 minutes, but they got bored quite fast. Grabbing your bag, you nod your head to the door to let them know you were ready.

20 minutes later you arrive at their dorm, and you were mentally preparing yourself for the wave of excitement you were about to receive. Mark went in first, followed by you and Youngjae. You barely got your shoes off when you were hit by an over-excited Jackson. Screeching and high-pitched laughs were all you could hear coming out of that boy’s mouth, you could only just make out an

“You’re here!”

Making it past the entrance was when the others had begun greeting you, expressing how they missed you after all these months. It was always fun when they were all together like this, it made everything feel more relaxed and comfortable. Walking over to the couch, you all started talking, laughing until everyone’s stomach was in pain, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

The day had gone by as fast as it had arrived, you all ordered take-out and didn’t even leave the living room the entire day. Stories of their concerts and their meet-and-greets were shared with you, and you told them stories of your school days and funny customers at work. It was around 10:30pm when you were saying your goodbyes. You would normally stay longer, but they had an early meeting in the morning, that you didn’t want them to be too tired for. You all had made plans to go out and do something tomorrow, maybe bowling or an amusement park. You loved going on the rollercoasters, but sometimes Jackson wouldn’t want to go on, so you always opted to hang back with him and gossip about the other guys while they were away. He’d enjoy the time it was just the two of you, because you both had a very bubbly personality. You never minded not going on certain coasters, Jackson would make up for it by being his usual extra af self, which would make you laugh your butt off.

You said goodnight to everyone followed with a hug. Leaving their dorm and heading back to your hotel room, you’d peer into nearby store windows, even though the contents never really changed over the many visits you’ve had. You had gotten so used to walking this route, it felt like a second home. There was never a day where you didn’t look forward to the next time you’d fly out here and see them. Both parties were quite busy, so whenever they had time off, they’d let you know, so you can try and maneuver your schedule to match theirs. It was easier for you to plan out when you’d need time off, rather than them, because, well, they live the idol life. Cancelling a concert to hang out with a friend isn’t really appropriate.

You had big plans for tomorrow once you guys came back from having your day of adventure. While you were still back home, you knew your 3 years of friendship was coming up soon, so you went shopping for the occasion. You knew almost everything about the seven of them, so you used your vast knowledge and your recollections from past conversations with them to your advantage. Of course, you weren’t worried about the price, because they were well worth every penny. Most of the things you purchased, you had to search long and hard for, scouring the internet to find exactly what you were looking for. Some of the items took months to find, but in the end, you had all seven gifts. Wanting to do something special, you got each of them the most meaningful present you could possibly think of. You wrapped each gift with different wrapping paper and wrote in a card specifically pertaining to that person. Pouring your heart out in each letter, you felt as if you were the lead role in a soap opera, saying your last goodbyes before you leave forever. That wasn’t the case though, you were just being over-dramatic, or should I say, being very Jackson? Planning on making an excuse to go back to your hotel room after you returned, you’d bring everything over, and hopefully see their faces light up. You went to bed, excited for tomorrow, marking your 3 years with the seven of them.

The alarm you had set the night before had gone off, blasting music throughout the space of your room. Normally you’d have to throw yourself out of bed, but not today. NOPE. Today was a special and important day. Do they know its been exactly 3 years since they waltzed their beautiful faces into your restaurant? Probably not, but that doesn’t matter. As long as you remembered, and they didn’t laugh at you for making such a big deal of it, is just okay. Rushing into the bathroom to do everything you needed to do and quickly getting ready,

you sprinted out the door and made a bee-line towards their building. They offered to pick you up once they finished with their meeting, but you declined, knowing they would need time to change. Well, six of them would only need roughly 5 minutes, but Bambam would need to check the weather, how the moons are aligned, see the others’ outfits so he wouldn’t clash, check his horoscope to see if it read anything about a good color to wear that day, so on and so forth. He always needed to look 1000% fashionable or he wasn’t leaving his room and you’d constantly tease him for it, but when it came down to it he was the best person to go shopping with, and he never turned down a shopping spree with you. Knocking on the door, Mark opened it to see the huge smile plastered on your face,

“Hey.”

“Hey, you all ready?”

“We are…”

he gestured toward the five guys that were plastered on the couch,

“I knew Bambam would take a long time.”

You commented, walking into the entrance and slipping off your shoes.

Headed straight for the lanky-legged boys room, you knocked a couple of times until he swung the door open as he was putting on what looked like the 5th shirt,

“Oh, hey, you’re here already?”

“Mhm, been here for about 30 minutes.”

You lied, just to see the reaction on his face,

“Really? Sorry, I’m almost done…I think.”

You walk in, to see the sprawled-out mess of clothes on his bed,

“I’m joking, I just got here. So, what do we plan on wearing today?”

You ask, looking through the many things he had hanging in his closet,

“I’m not sure, nothing is really standing out to me.”

A nod of your head was all the response you gave, as you still looked through his closet,

“Well, it’s cold outside, you need to remember that, so even if it looks good, you aren’t leaving this room unless you’re warm.”

“Yes mom.”

You shot a glare at him, but you both ended up laughing,

“Okay, what about this, it says ‘Chic but still fashionably warm’?”

You held up a black and gold patterned long sleeve, that you put inside one of the many black leather jackets he had.

“You can pair it with black jeans with a couple of rips, not too many though or else your legs will fall off, and maybe those black boots you have with the gold accents on the zippers?”

He squinted at you and shoved you out the door.

“It was just a suggestion!”

You shout at the now closed door. Queue your eye roll as you headed for the couch,

“You tried to help him, didn’t you?”

JB asks,

“Yeah, apparently that was a nono. Such a diva.”

The seven of you laughed, as you turned your attention to whatever was playing on the TV. JB had YouTube streaming and it was playing through a bunch of music videos,

“Oh oh! There was this amazing song that I had on yesterday, you mind if I show you guys?”

They shook their heads no, never minding if you wanted to play something in particular. You took the tablet off the table and began typing what you wanted them all to see. Pressing play, it was ‘You Are’ and they all fell back into the cushions with a collective sigh. You liked playing their songs around them, seeing their faces as they listen to themselves sing. When the chorus began, you started singing along, swaying side to side, linking your arms with Youngjae’s, getting him to join you. By the second round of the chorus, they all piped up and loudly scream-sang with the lyrics, and when it was winding down to the end, everyone turned their head to see a FINALLY dressed Bambam emerge from his room to scream the last couple of words.

“Glad you’re not a vocal.”

You said, shaking your head at the screechy sound emitting from his mouth,

“Oh. Look at you.”

A smile instantly found its way to your lips, as you saw what Bambam was wearing,

“You took my suggestion?”

He nodded his head,

“I tried it on, and it turns out it looked great. Good eye.”

You couldn’t help but smile even brighter, you always enjoyed when he took your fashion advice.

All 8 of you climbed into a van, as JB drove you all to the nearest amusement park. Everybody was excited for today, getting to act like children was a fun time. The whole car ride there was filled with singing and laughter, you wouldn’t have guessed it took nearly an hour to get there. JB found a parking spot close to the entrance, which is great because toward the end of the day they’ll be tired from all the running around they’ll have to do. After purchasing an arm band each, you took a map and plotted out where you all wanted to start. Jinyoung made a point to start with the nearest attractions, and loop your way back around, so you’d end back at the entrance, leaving you all enough time to ride the first roller coaster one last time. Everyone agreed with his plan, and followed the leader. The first few coasters were fun, they weren’t too extreme, so Jackson also got on with no fussing, but once he was sat down and locked into his chair, is when the high pitch death scream shot out from his lungs. The third one is when you really felt sorry for Youngjae because he was the one who had to share the seat with him. No one realized that the coaster comes to an abrupt stop, as the track was ‘broken off’, then went backwards to land you right back at the beginning. As it was making its way to the ‘broken’ end of the track and suddenly stopped, you grabbed your seat partners hand is sheer terror. That hand just happened to be Mark’s. Once it halted and started its journey backwards, you let out a small yelp, clearly surprising you. He turned his head to look at you, then down to your clasped hands,

“You okay?”

One eye opened slightly, checking for any immediate danger, then the other followed suit.

“Hm? Oh, ha, yeah. I’m okay, just gave be a bit of shock, is all. Wasn’t expecting that…thought I was going to die a little.”

A breathy laugh escaped his throat as he took in your displeased state,

“They wouldn’t have let us on if it was actually broken.”

“Well pardon me for having a normal human reaction, mister ‘I fear nothing’.”

Both of you laughed, as the coaster pulled back into the starting position, getting ready for the next group of people. The bar that had been placed over your laps had lifted up, letting everyone out of their seats, that’s when the two of you realized your hands were still holding on to one another,

“Oh, I’m sorry. I think I grabbed it when the coaster stopped back there.”

You say, as you slowly released his hand and stepped out onto the platform.

“No, it’s okay. It happens.”

Little did you know, the moment your hand let go of his, he felt an instant rush of loneliness, already missing the contact of your smaller hand encased in his. The eldest member had developed a crush on you a year ago, when they had used some of their off time to go visit you. He hadn’t even truly realized it until he’d see you with the other members. You were close to all of them, but you and Youngjae were quite the duo, and normally when you and he would hang out, it was nothing to Mark. When he started feeling a sense of uneasiness when he’d see the two of you cling on to one another, is when he sat back and wondered when he began feeling this way about you. Turns out, it had been for a couple months, that’s when he came to the conclusion that he had a crush on one of his closest friends.

#mark tuan #got7 #tuan amino #fanfic #fanfiction #im jaebum #jackson wang #park jinyoung #choi youngjae #bambam #kim yugyeom #weird-sensation #=#my writing

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apsbicepstraining · 7 years

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A ‘radical alternative’: how one husband changed the sensing of Los Angeles

In the 1960 s, British architectural critic Reyner Banham affirmed his love for the city that his fellow intellectuals detested. What Banham wrote about Los Angeles redefined how the world perceived it but what would he think of LA today?

Now I know subjective minds can diversify, the journalist Adam Raphael wrote in the Guardian in 1968, but personally I reckon LA as the noisiest, the smelliest, “the worlds largest” uncomfortable and most uncivilised major city in the United States. In short, a stinking sewer …

Three years later, Raphaels paroles appeared in book again as an epigraph of Reyner Banhams Los Angeles: The Architecture of Four Ecologies the most exuberantly pro-Los Angeles volume further written. Ever since pamphlet, it has shown up on schedules of great works about modern metropolitans even those is drawing up by people who debate Los Angeles anything but a great American city.

Somehow, this book that attracted so much of its initial publicity with startle price( In Praise (!) of Los Angeles, gibed the New York Times re-examine headline) has obstructed its relevant through the decades, such that newly arrived Angelenos still read it to familiarize themselves. But what can it learn us about the Los Angeles of today?

An architectural historian a decade into his vocation where reference is first visited, Banham knew full-well that his fellow eggheads disliked Los Angeles. How and why he himself came so avidly to appreciate it constitutes the core question of his work on the city, which culminated in this slim volume.

The many who were ready to cast doubt on the merit of business enterprises, he reflected in its last chapter, included a discriminated Italian inventor and his wife who, on was found that I was writing this book, disbelieved that anyone who cared for structure could lower himself to such research projects and walked away without a word further.

The project began when Banham accompanied his shaggy whisker and wonky teeth to Los Angeles and declared that he enjoyed the city with a affection, in the words of novelist and Bradford-born Los Angeles expat Richard Rayner. Schooling at the University of Southern California, who applied him up in the Greene friends architecturally worshipped Gamble House in Pasadena, Banham had a privileged base from which to investigate. But what he went go looking for, and the course he wrote about what “hes seen” and experienced, redefined the space the intellectual world and then the rest of the world comprehended the city.

Reyner Banham with his shaggy whisker and wonky teeth in 1968. Photograph: Peter Johns for the Guardian

Not that he swore his love right there on the tarmac at LAX. Banham initially located the city incomprehensible a response shared by many reviewers, wrote Nigel Whiteley in such studies Reyner Banham: Historian of the Immediate Future.

Banham first attempted to publicly explain this cutting-edge metropolis, saturated across its tremendous cavity with electronic machines, synthetic chemicals and televisions, in four 1968 BBC radio talks. He told to seeing how “hes come to” tractions with LAs embodiment of the experimental: its experimental chassis and infrastructure, the combinations of cultures it accommodated, and the experimental life-styles to which it gave rise.

But even an appreciator like Banham had his qualms with the result. In Los Angeles you tend to go to a particular region to do a particular event, to another to do another thing, and finally a long way back to your dwelling, and youve done 100 miles in the working day, he deplored in the third largest talk. The distances and the reliance on mechanical transportation leave no area for collision even for happy coincidences. You strategy the working day in advance, curriculum your activities, and forgo those random encounters with friends and strangers that are traditionally one of the honors of municipality life.

Nevertheless, to Banham this un-city-like metropolitan contained out a promise: The unique price of Los Angeles what rouses, intrigues and sometimes fights me is the fact that it offerings radical alternatives to almost every city hypothesi in unquestioned currency.

In his subsequent landmark book, Banham listed Los Angeles leavings from traditional urbanism, as well as from all the rules for civilised living as they have been understood by the pundits of modernity, with obvious gratify. It seemed to legitimise a example “youve already”, in a 1959 essay, recommends to replace the age-old notion of a single dense core surrounded by a wall.

Civilised living in suburban LA. Photograph: University of Southern California/ Corbis via Getty Images

Banham foresaw the city as scrambled egg, its eggshell separated open, its business yolk mixed with its domestic white-hot, and everything spread across the landscape, its evenness disrupted merely by occasional specialised sub-centres. A tourist to Los Angeles today might hear the city explained in just the same channel: as a system of nodes, a constellation of city hamlets, an exercise in postmodern polycentrism.

Banham put another digit in the eye of conservatives who insisted that a city should have just one strong core with his short chapter A Note on Downtown, which opens with the words, … because that is all downtown Los Angeles deserves.

From its fetishised structures such as the Bradbury Building and Cathedral of Saint Vibiana to its brand new agency towers in their standard livery of dark glass and sword, Banham wrote that everything stances as an unintegrated fragment in a downtown vistum that began to disintegrate long ago out of sheer irrelevance, as far as one can see.

The books contrarianism manifests the contrarianism of Los Angeles itself, which, insofar as it play-acts the functions of a great city, in terms of length, cosmopolitan mode, creative energy, international force, peculiar way of life, and corporate temperament[ supports that] all the most admired theoreticians of the current century, from the Futurists and Le Corbusier to Jane Jacobs and Sibyl Moholy-Nagy, ought to have wrong.

Filled with photos and charts, Banhams book on Los Angeles segments its subject up into the four ecologies of its subtitle: the beaches and beach cities of Surfurbia; the Foothills with their ever more elaborate and expensive residences; the utilitarian Plains of Id( the only parts of Los Angeles flat enough and enduring enough to are comparable to the cities of the Middle West) and the famous, then infamous, freeway organization he dubbed Autopia: a single comprehensible region, a coherent cognitive state in which Angelenos expend the two calmest and most rewarding hours of their daily lives.

The 1893 Bradbury Building in downtown LA was an unintegrated scrap in Banhams attentions. Picture: Michele and Tom Grimm/ Alamy

Between chapters on the citys ecologies, Banham examined the buildings found in them. Populist, stylistically promiscuous, tradition-agnostic and often deliberately impermanent, Los Angeles architecture has, of all the citys constituents, described distain the longest. There is no reward for aesthetic honour here , no sanction for aesthetic misdemeanour; nothing but a immense cosmic detachment, wrote the novelist James M. Cain in 1933.

More than 40 years later, Banham learnt a stylistic bounty of Tacoburger Aztec to Wavy-line Moderne, from Cape Cod to unsupported Jaoul vaults, from Gourmet Mansardic to Polynesian Gabled and even in extremity Modern Architecture.

He discussed at length the LA building known as the dingbat a two-storey walk-up apartment-block … built of grove and stuccoed over, all identical at the back but inexpensively, elaborately, embellished up-front, emblazoned with an aspirational name such as the Capri or the Starlet.

In characterizing dingbats as the real symptom of Los Angeles urban id, trying to be dealt with the unprecedented appearing of residential densities too high to be subsumed within the illusions of homestead living, Banham diagnosed the central and continue tension, then as now, between wanting to grow outward and needing to grow upward.

Banham attracted out the meaning of Los Angeles ostensibly disposable structures not by venerating them , nor belittling them, but plainly by realise them because they are. Robert Venturi, Denise Scott Brown and Steven Izenour would propose the same approach in their own city classic, Reading from Las Vegas, published the subsequent year: Withholding judgment may be used as a tool to prepare later finding most sensitive. This is a way of learning from everything.

Still, even appreciators of Los Angeles might take issue with this method when Banhams non-judgmental attitude at least toward the aesthetics of American commercial-grade culture starts to look like advocacy for bad taste.

The self-absorbed and perfected Watts Towers. Photo: Hulton Archive/ Getty Images

Non-appreciators of Los Angeles certainly did. The painter and critic Peter Plagens, writer of an 11,000 -word excoriation in Artforum magazine entitled The Ecology of Evil, disappeared thus far as to description Banhams book hazardous: The hacks who do shopping mall, Hawaiian restaurants and savings-and-loans, the dried-up civil servant in the discord of roadways, and the legions of showbiz fringies will sleep a little easier and run a lot harder now that their enterprises have been authenticated. In a more humane culture where Banhams doctrines would be measured against the subdividers assault of the territory and the extend particles in kids of my own lungs, the author are likely to be put up against a wall and shot.

Uncowed, Banham followed the book by starring in Reyner Banham Loves Los Angeles, a 1972 video documentary that followed him through one day in the town that sees sillines of history and divulge all the rules, and stimulated within him a passion that moving beyond gumption or rationale. Stops on the tour included Simon Rodias handmade Watts Towers( a wholly self-absorbed and perfected mausoleum) to Los Angeles characteristic fantasy of innocence( prominently recognized on all the maps in his volume ); the overgrown slice of the old-fashioned Pacific Electric Railways rusting rails that once tied the whole big metropolitan together; the decrepit canals and beachside bodybuilding facilities of Venice; and a Sunset Boulevard drive-in burger joint.

There, Banham requested the painter Ed Ruscha, plainspoken and painstaking commentator of American urban cliche, what public buildings a tourist should appreciate. Ruscha recommended gas station.

Banham pre-empted objections to Los Angeles urban chassis by claiming the shape subjects very little, had now been written that Los Angeles has no metropolitan flesh at all in the commonly accepted gumption. Yet whatever it does have, he quarrelled, has produced a fascinating, and sometimes even efficient, adjusted of emergent urban phenomena.

Come the day when the smog fate finally tumbles, he narrated over aerial kills of Wilshire Boulevards double row of towers and frame-filling regions of detached houses, … when trafficking in human beings grinds to a stall and the private automobile is banned from wall street, quite a lot of craftily situated citizens will be able to switch over to being pedestrians and feel no pain.

Cyclists on Venice Beach … though much of LA is not bike-friendly. Picture: Alamy

The end of the car in Los Angeles? Bold statements for the person who is announced Wilshire Boulevard one of the few enormous streets in the world where driving are particularly pleased when you have, like earlier generations of English scholastics who educate themselves Italian in order to speak Dante in the original, “ve learned to” drive in order to read Los Angeles in the original.

But just as the languages listen on the streets of Los Angeles have proliferated, its own language of mobility has changed there, as has much else besides. How legible would Banham, who died in 1988 , now find it?

The smog that supposed bane of the citys postwar decades which he ever downplayed has all but vanished. The experience of apparently boundless room to pander an obsession with single-family houses has given way to one of building cranes sprouting to satisfy the new demand for high-density vertical living. They accept not only over a downtown rise miraculously from the dead, but the specialised sub-centres scattered all over greater Los Angeles.

Though the ban on private cars hasnt come yet , no recent development stuns any Angeleno who was there in the 1970 s more than the citys new runway transit system, which started to emerge almost 30 years after the end of the Pacific Electric. It grades as such as a success of funding, the planning and execution( at least by the globally unimpressive American standard) that the rest of the two countries now appears to Los Angeles as an example of how to build public transportation and, increasingly, public infinite in general.

Readers might scoff at Banham calling the Los Angeles freeway network one of the greater labors of human but he has demonstrated more of an ability to see beyond it than many current commentators of Los Angeles. Even though it is vastly better than any other motorway plan of my relationship, he wrote, it is inconceivable to Angelenos that it should not be replaced by an even better plan nearer to the perfection they are always seeking.

Banham detected downtown Los Angeles only deserved a short assembly dedicated to it. Picture: Alamy

Banham also foretold the rise of the self-driving automobile, so often mooted these days as an alternative solution to Los Angeles traffic woes. But cars that drive themselves( as distinct from Baede-kar a then-fantastical expression sailing organisation dreamed up for Banhams TV doc, that carries an uncanny similarity to those every American driver uses today) “re coming with” difficulties that Banham also predicted all those years ago. The marginal additions in economy through automation, he wrote, might be offset by the mental destitutions caused by destroying the residual misconceptions of free decision and driving skill.

Under each outwardly celebratory page of Banhams book lies the notion of change as Los Angeles merely constant: no matter how excitingly modern the car and the pike, the working day will come to an end; no matter how comfortably idyllic the separated house, it very must fall out of favor, or into impracticality, sooner or later.

Some of the elements that gleaned Banhams attention have, after their own periods of dishonor, moved fashionable again. Even the humble dingbat has received a home in the future of the city, growing the subject matter of critical examine and architectural competitor.

Banham also encountered the future of Los Angeles in other unprepossessing constructs, especially one stunning and elegantly simple stucco casket on La Cienega Boulevard. Its designer? A particular Frank Gehry, then almost unknown but now one of the stronger influencers of the improved surrounding in not only Los Angeles( its most recent high-profile projection involves re-making the citys famously dry, concrete-encased flow ), but other cities as well. The Toronto-born starchitect grew his adopted hometowns architectural emissary just one of the myriad channels in which Los Angeles has influenced the rest of the metropolitan macrocosm.

These daylights, the rest of the city world also influences Los Angeles. No longer labouring for the purposes of the delusions of total exceptionalism which prevails in Banhams day, it has, with its towers, qualifies, ballparks and even bike-share organizations, did steps towards the liveability so is necessary in 21 st-century urbanists. It now even resembles( if faintly) New York, Boston, London, and Paris those thoroughly projected , non-experimental metropolitans where, Banham lamented, warring pressure groups cannot get out of each other hair because they are pressed together in a sacred labyrinth of culture shrines and real estate values.

In its impressive dictation to incorporate older metropolitan dignities and play by the rules of good urban design, modern Los Angeles ignores the possibility of becoming a similarly sacred labyrinth at its jeopardy. Saving Banhams Los Angeles: the Architecture of Four Ecologies on its syllabus will hopefully protect against the grim fate of losing its rule-breaking experimental urban spirit.

The engineering-trained scribe regarded Los Angeles as a kind of machine. Though it has come in for a seriously requirement renovation of its interface in recent years , none has yet written a users manual more engaged in the city on its own terms as Banham did 45 years ago.

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