Source: Screen Rant

Phillip makes bread (get it?) for trophy husband Benoit

Actual Google results for “World’s Greatest Detective”:

we could've had it all

rian johnson after writing glass onion, watching elon musk completely fuck over twitter like a petulant child, knowing his movie is coming out in just a few weeks

superhero franchises are OUT. gay little anti-elite detective franchises are IN

FLEECED: A KNIVES OUT MYSTERY (2025)

Directed by Rian Johnson

VICTORY

fun fact: in the latin american dub, when Helen Brand tells Benoit Blanc that "google says he's the world greatest detective", he says "i am not James Bond" which is infinitely funnier than the original "i am not Batman" response

rian johnson has managed to evade all common ethical problems in his screenwriting and i want everyone to know that the knives out mysteries are a perfect representation of how to write about a certain community respectfully AND simultaneously not make a big deal of how good you are at being a diverse writer.

in knives out and glass onion, both main characters are women who have been wronged by the other main character(s)—in marta's case, she experiences xenophobia from the thrombey's constantly; in andi's, she came up with a billion dollar idea which was stolen by a white man. when she took him to court for it, her entire friend group sided with this man; this directly affects helen after andi's death.

andi and marta's stories specifically represent real experiences for women who are minorities in america, but the stories are told without being too ham-fisted or obvious about it. these aren't stories about racism, xenophobia, and misogyny, they're stories involving racism, xenophobia, and misogyny, which i feel is something you don't often see. they're not triyng to prove a point by telling these stories, they're just stories being told—it's a difference that's hard to describe, but you know it when you see it. it's got less of a looking-into-the-camera-for-emphasis vibe.

alongside this, benoit was never a white/male savior to neither helen nor marta (respectively). he helped helen when she came to him about andi and he stood behind marta when he saw the tox report, but he never took over the case and they were never treated like damsels in distress. in the end, helen and marta took control of their own revenge and benoit nudged everyone else to the side while they did it. benoit is not the hero of these stories, helen and marta are.

this is good fucking writing!!!! i need film bros to be positively insufferable about rian johnson NEOW

edit 12/26/22: i've been told that ana de armas is a white latina. genuinely i did not know, she always looked brown to me and i haven't seen her in anything other than knives out, that's truly my bad. i've updated the post now to change the language about marta, other than that everything remains!

Petition for Rian Johnson to release a 10 minute short film where Ransom Drysdale and Miles Bron are cellmates, because Miles "I only spent 10 seconds planning each of my murders" Bron and Ransom "my murder plan was so smart and elaborate it could have been in one of my grandpa's novels" Drysdale would drive each other ABSOLUTELY MAD and I would enjoy the fuck out of every second

Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery (2022)

Im gonna be honest, I only want four more Knives Out films. Specifically so we can get three more girls to become a five man band and the last movie is where Blanc gets framed for murder and Marta, Helen, and the three other girls team up to save their gay best friend with their own special skills like a god damn scooby doo episode.

Marta looking up and checking medical records, Helen doing business stuff. One of the girls was a biology student or gardener and looks through plant species for kinds of poisons. One of them works at a theater and does stupid disguises. One of the girls has a movie where Blanc helps her fuck over the expensive medical companies and finally gets a service dog who helps her find clues in this film.

All the while we cut back to Benny Blanc who's crying about being bored because they are hiding him in an apartment but he is proud of his girls for saving his ass, hyping them up the whole time.

I know this will never happen but a stupid nonbinary bitch can dream...

*edit* Helen isn't doing business shit, she is beating up bad guys like the bad bitch she is. Also because Andi did the business stuff

nothing has brought me more joy than seeing rian johnson say fuck you to the unflappable asshole bbc sherlock detective archetype and bringing back the righteous and unendingly kind columbo detective archetype

Old gay southern detective who solves campy and theatrical murder cases is literally the most amazing protagonist concept ever.

It literally sounds like something Tumblr goncharoved. I cannot believe Benoit Blanc is a real character and not someone we collectively hallucinated.

The universe sometimes gives instead of taking.

Thank you.