#i feel so normal and sane about them | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tenderesthands · 2 years

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thinking about imogen having a nightmare once again and laudna comforting her the way that she always does. thinking about cold cold hands very tenderly wiping away fresh tears and warm cheeks melting into a soft smile. thinking about "you should never have to run into the storm alone" and "we are going to figure this out. i promise. or at least die trying" (thinking about laudna dying and imogen being consumed by so much grief the storm and being all alone)

thinking about imogen falling asleep every night holding onto laudna's hands hoping, praying even, that maybe this time she will see laudna in the dream with her. and it will be wonderful and it will give her the strength to face all her fears. (thinking about imogen dreading closing her eyes and falling asleep fearing that she will dream of laudna being consumed by the storm just like bertrand was) (thinking about the intense relief that she feels when she wakes up and realizes it was yet another quiet night without laudna blessing her dreams. maybe there's still hope. maybe i can still save her.)

thinking about belly laughs and warm eyes filled with love and soft hands holding onto each other as tightly as they can. thinking about shared beds and intertwined bodies and trembling fingers and long late night conversations. thinking about "i don't know what i would do without you" ("come back. come back. please come back.")

thinking about making bright future plans and broken pinky promises. thinking about time and how there's never enough of it with the people that we love. thinking about "oh my god!!! i love this town!!! seriously laudna let's move here after everything!" (thinking about how there's no after everything with laudna. there's just the terrible suffocating aching void in imogen's chest and the piercing pain of never ending grief)

thinking about "it was really bad there for awhile you know when laudna came to town it was the first time i'd really felt any peace for a long time" and "it's the same sort of feeling that i had with laudna the first time i met her. it was there, she was there, but she was almost like at a different pitch than everybody else. it was musical. it wasn't painful like everybody else." and "we are pretty good at being hermits together it's nice" and "imogen and i, we don't really like new people"

thinking about learning to share your soul, your heart, your life with someone and then losing half of you. thinking about discovering the peaceful lullaby of love and then being lost in the stillness of death. thinking about the loss of music and peace and all things good and beautiful.

thinking about walking into the world alone for the first time in two years accompanied only by grief and regret. thinking about the bitter sweet realization that pain IS the price of love and that you've agreed to pay it every time you locked eyes and felt the soft rumble of butterflies in your belly. or every time you shared a laugh together. every time you felt your knees go weak with want. every time you fell asleep holding onto each other.

the grief is never ending but so is the love.

#i feel so normal and sane about them #c3e34 #critical role 3 #critical role #imogen temult #laudna #imodna #my meta #cr spoilers #imogen x laudna

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nutria--oscura · 8 months

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The Oak family make me so mentally ill actually

Like, for starters, the generational trauma that cannot and will not be shaken off:

The very obvious first point is The Doodler. 'The Curse of The Doodler' passed down from generation to generation. Even after Lark and Sparrow release it, the curse still haunts them as the apocalypse they have to bear the blame for. Now Dood is walking amongst them, as a teen protected by the teens, and all Lark and Sparrow can do is look him in the eye (not even really). Lark wants to end this generational trauma by killing Dood but Normal wants to do it but helping it (parallel to what we see happen in s2 ep23 when they sit on the Throne).

The next obvious ones are the veganism (has been an Oaks thing since Hildy's grandmother, if not great-grandmother).

and the 'shoes on' household. Something Henry started due to always being barefoot in Oakvale cause of Barry's Rules. Something that is still instilled with Normal and Hero.

All of the Oaks have a dislike towards their kids/parents. Hildy hated Barry cause he abused her for so long and in the final years of her life he abandoned her in Oakvale and left her to die. Barry and Henry fought constantly, Barry creating more Oakvalians cause Henry would never have been good enough for him. Henry and Lark straight up just do not get along, especially after Henry took the Gauntlets of Ogre Power (which in Lark's eyes caused Walter to get injured and almost caused Sparrow to die), ESPECIALLY after Henry pulled to rogue card. Henry and Sparrow don't talk anymore which is something I will get into later on. Lark and Sparrow weren't even Henry's favourite kids, it was his pet bird Beanie. Honestly, I'm kind of scared to see what Henry and Birdie's relationship is like. Then we have Sparrow and Normal. Sparrow is open about being not being proud of Normal and wishing he was more 'normal'. Finally we have Sparrow and Hero. Sparrow probably isn't that proud or happy with Hero either since she just noped out of being the chosen one. (check out this post)

Another kinda obvious one, the (very strong) family resemblance. They all look so alike, so similar, of course they're going to be the least likely to change and break tradition. (post)

SPARROW AND HENRY NO LONGER TALKING - so many implications. Like, is it because of the shit Lark and Sparrow pulled with Hero? Cause he married a centrist (/j)? Was it because Sparrow (potentially) used the memory syringes on Rebecca to keep their marriage in tact(more in a bit)? Some other reason which we will later find out? Is it why Sparrow can no longer turn into a Love Wolf? Or the final straw as to why he can't?

SPARROW, REBECCA AND THE SYRINGES - So. In s2 ep18 when Normal asks Sparrow if Rebecca knew about all the Doodler stuff, Sparrow says "Your mom doesn't know… about what's going on." ... "that's kind of how we… stayed married." Later, we get to know, from Hero, that Rebecca did in fact know what was happening - that she was involved in what happened to Hero when she was younger, "mom and dad, just sort of looked at me as like, the golden child. They weren't like with me, they were like demanding things of me." So potentially, Lark and/or Sparrow used the syringes on Rebecca cause she threatened their marriage over what happen with Hero. (POST)

Speaking of Hero's childhood - Other than what happened very obviously traumatising her, "they showed me a glimpse of the Doodler for a second and I cried for 3 weeks straight," it also very heavily strained her relationship with Normal: "I feel like things have been choppy between us for a while" ... "It felt like I shouldn't befriend you, cause I knew at some point I'd have to like, sacrifice myself heroically and I didn't want to make you lose me in that way, so I felt like 'I should just keep him at arms length.' " It is suck a stark contrast and parallel to the (toxically) codependent relationship Lark and Sparrow have

HENRY - The fact that Henry is the last of the dads that is alive is so depressing and so expected. He has elf blood and is a high level druid, of course he's still alive. He is (most probably - we don't know the situation with Mercedes and Birdie) alone, all of his closest friends are dead, his sons don't talk to him and because of that he probably hasn't seen his grandchildren in ages either. If something happened to Mercedes and Birdie and Henry is truly alone, there are parallels with Hildy's final years (this post and the tags)

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aspennntree · 10 months

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feeling very sane and normal about him using the cane yep totally normal and sane about this boy

#rwby #greenlightvolume10 #greenlight volume 10 #oscar pine #ozmosis #tree can’t shut up about oscar pine #i love them #conflicting feelings about the merge #mergeTM #biting him #cane pose #i’m so normal can’t you tell #very sane and normal

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stormyoceans · 6 months

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I WILL SINGLE HANDEDLY MAKE THEM FAMOUS IF THAT'S WHAT IT TAKES

#ABOUT TO THROW UP ALL THE BLOOD IN MY BODY THEY DESERVE THE WORLD #MAY EVERY TONGUE THAT ROSE AGAINST THEM EAT THEIR OWN WORDS #MAY GMMTV GIVE THEM ALL THE EVENTS AND FANMEETS WITH HALLS PACKED WITH PEOPLE LOVING THEM #MAY EVERYONE START LOVING AND POSTING ABOUT THEM SO MUCH I WILL BECOME OUTDATED AND USELESS #FEELING SO VERY NORMAL RN IT'S HONESTLY INSANE HOW NORMAL AND HINGED AND SANE AND FINE I FEEL RN #jimmy jitaraphol #sea tawinan #jimmysea #m: txt

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soullessjack · 4 months

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absolutely insane and crazy that this isn’t the jack dog to you guys. This is literally jack he’s literally just a big wolf dog thing with sharp teeth and probably rabies but he’s a silly little puppydog and he loves everyone and he’s like hey look I know I’m. A big wolf dog thing and my teeth are sharp and I’m scary but I would never ever bite you because I love you okay please pet me and put your hand in my mouth to see that I won’t ever bite you I am gentle and loving you see . Also here is a small animal and threatening enemy I proudly killed for you specifically because I love you of course. Please pet me <3

#oh I’m losing it #IM LOSING IT IM SO SORRY LMAO #cal.txt #spn #jack kline #dog motif #EVERYVODY SAIS CAS AND DEAN ARE DOG MORIR CORE BUT WEVERRUONRRB #EVEEY FUCKING THING IS ABOUT THEM WHEN JACK IS RIFHT HERE #LTIERALLY TURNED INTO A DOG LMAO #I’m not mad . I am a little mad . I am don’t know #normal posting #real normal hours over here #feeling normal #and sane #I’m very sane #of course

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youre-responsible-not-us · 1 year

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Stebulixes drabble

I don't know if I have the stamina and organisation to finish this fanfic (if this… drabble… can even be called one?), so let it lie here as a headcanon for now.

"All canonical writings on infra-materialism agree that telepathic communication between comrades is only possible on the third level, Uli…"

The other young man raises his head, pulling away from the book, and casts a glance at Steban.

Oh, that Uli… He's so in love. Unapologetically and irrevocably. He himself sometimes does not notice how he is fascinated by Steban, how he cannot take his eyes off him when he is reading or making coffee or enthusiastically telling his new arguments on the infra-materialist theory, not noticing how time passes… Uli stares at that small neckline of his shirt, for he always leaves the top two buttons undone, at the exposed piece of his pale chest and collarbone… And his bloodthirsty little heart is pounding in his ribcage at the thought of how lucky he is to live at the same time as this impossible, weird, incredibly intelligent, sensitive, charismatic and, on top of it all, unbelievably handsome man, and to be around him.

Steban is no different.

He almost unconsciously tries to touch Uli casually, very lightly, when they are standing next to the coffee pot, when they are sitting on the sofa or when they are reading a book together… Steban shows incredible, simply incredible restraint not to snap and squeeze him in an embrace, burying his fingers in his auburn, slightly reddish curly unruly hair and pressing his cheekbone against his stiff beard.

Steban looks furtively at Uli, and such immense tenderness blossoms in his chest, fills his lungs with a bottomless ocean, and his heart begins to tingle pleasantly. He is so grateful to have him. Uli is his best friend, his comrade, his soulmate, Uli is the best at listening, the best at being there when he needs it, and understands Steban from half a word. Sometimes it seems to Steban that they don't need to reach the third level to read each other's minds.

#disco elysium #steban #steban the student communist #uli #ulixes #echo maker #stebuli #stebanulixes #steban and his echo #infra-materialist lovers #oh my god this young love almost adolescent so naive and pure and sincere #when you think your heart is going to explode from too much feeling #I'm totally sane #I'm very normal about them #As you can obviously tell #damn the lungs being the symbol of love in this universe is so cool but as a cardiophile I just love hearts TOO much #so I personally like to headcanon that in de universe they have two symbols of love being the lungs of course but the heart too

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moe-broey · 1 year

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Screaming crying throwing up curled up on yhe floor sobbing weeping ect ect I miss them SO much (PNGs with voice lines that live in my phone that I can look at any time)

#FINALLY picked up engage again and collected all the dlc emblems (from both waves)#saved veronica for last bc i knew she'd be the one i'd be the most autistic about #i love her she's SO funny. chronic baby disease. insisting we're working for her actually.#completely out of touch with her own emotions (FELT).#bloodlust.#she really does have the funniest combination of traits and i love that for her #but MAN..... her map and her EXISTING as a 3d model ON A CONSOLE GAME.....#getting this TINY glimpse into what askr/embla would look like in a 3d space........ (feel like the map is more modeled after askr?)#i feel so fucking rabid about it. frothing at the mouth. i am SO normal (LYING THROUGH CLENCHED TEETH)#i'm just imagining a perfect world where we also have emblem alfonse and sharena in a bracelet together.#i KNOW sharena would get shafted but indulge me. do not separate them first of all.#and second i just think it would be insanely interesting actually???? like. how is alfonse coping.#i think becoming a jewelry ghost would be on the top ten list of worst things to happen to him specifically #i think he'd put his all into serving whoever has him as now this is his responsibility. he is just as closed off as ever though #if not worse having to go through centuries of losing anyone he'd accidentally make any connection with #sharena is probably the only reason he's somewhat sane. she grounds him.#and also sharena???? ohhh i think there is SO much potential there!! she is always SO eager to hopefully befriend --#anyone who finds their bracelet.#i think being trapped in a bracelet has had the opposite effect on her. her desire for outside connection #and friendship only gets stronger. i think the loneliness stings more.#and i think having them together like. HUGE potential to put them side by side and see how they really do parallel each other #same issues different ways of coping. different reactions. i think their engage skill would reflect this. somehow.#also i think they'd both look soooo cute in the engage artstyle 😭😭😭😭#what the fuck ever. explode 💥💥💥

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peachpaws0 · 2 years

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I’m thinking about the use of the licensed tv show theme songs in some of Marcy’s backstory episodes (Simon & Marcy and Everything Stays (Stakes Part 2))

#it’s just so. human. and I think these being ‘real’ songs make it even more so #like it’s so.. before everything. before the mushroom war. Simon singing the cheers theme song to entertain Marcy and keep himself sane #the humans singing the them song from mr.Belvedere #like what two bread Tom said ‘As humans it's our duty to tell the tales to sing the songs. Art must survive.“#latching onto the few things that lasted over the mushroom bombs.#preserving the songs that they enjoyed. one of the few pleasures that were left in ooo #it’s just… so human ?? idk if this makes sense #also how both times they are sharing the music.. the humans all know the song as it has been shared throughout their tribe and preserved #Simon singing Marcy the cheers song the first time.. just trying to entertain her. living in the post apocalyptic land that ooo was at that #time wasn’t easy. we saw that in the episode and the second time Simon sung it. but the little moments like this are always so. human.#AND THE SECOND TIME. Simon using the cheers theme to keep himself sane. for Marceline. he having to use the crown to protect Marceline and #himself from the mutants. we can clearly see him losing himself to the crown but the music helped make him not completely lose himself to th #crown. and it’s just so. so human.#gods #can you tell I’m so normal about adventure time #I’m so sane and adjusted about it #and them being real life theme songs makes it even more. like these are songs people know. I’m sure some people cherish these songs and #it just adds to the whole feeling of it just being so so so human to do this stuff

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moonfurthetemmie · 1 year

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Moonfur!

I made this :)

Haha. Been emotional neglected until slash. Even if she was to hurt. She would tend wound even if it's for her own amusement and entertainment. She is gentle like a real parent

:((

Poor kid

#I can see the (imaginary) question marks around Slash’s head #she’s so confused #gentle pat #andjdjdjdj ‘guys I think we need to find this kid a therapist they just hugged me’#‘cross that’s not. …actually given the circumstances that IS concerning’#‘yeah. exactly.’#‘are you sure they weren’t trying to tackle you to the ground or something??’#‘yeah they just?? hugged me????’#‘what the hell’#‘yeah kid needs some therapy we are NOT qualified to give’#they don’t really want to be responsible for the kid getting help (nvm the fact that they can’t for a number of reasons)#but in the other hand they have a feeling their parents will not help them either #ssoooo……what are they going to do with them?#mostly likely still send them through; if nothing else maybe they can find law enforcement when they get out #and tell them about their shitty home life so they can get better caretakers and proper therapy #this is a totally normal plan that a sane person would make. 100%. and they are perfectly sound of mind #Horror!DS #H!DS Slash

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uten4 · 1 year

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I heard Misaki's dub voice from the anime and it's soooo good it's so child and fits her well I love it I love her

#bandori #op #also when anime characters who are kind of insane and have very high cartoon-ish voices #like yuno gasai or kokoro tsurumaki #get english dub voices where its like. a normal woman voice.#it makes them sound so much more sane and reachable. i dont know how to feel about it but its interesting

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elytrafemme · 1 year

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i didn’t wish them happy birthday. the last thing i ever said to them was “see you around”. i can’t breathe.

#neg #negative #vent #don't reblog #i wish i was sane i wish i didn't have this unspeakable wrongness about me #they also thought i had you know what condition and they. made me feel so sane.#nobody else has ever made me feel normal #they're in the song i'm listening to they're in everything #and they're gone #and i can't message them because i don't know them. we weren't close friends #they were just a person and i. even if i spoke to them now #i don't think they would recognize me.#i think i'm going to pass out #okay. okay. Jesus mare okay you are on tumblr you are in public be normalcore about this

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marmorenshud · 6 months

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wanna cry bc I have borderline

#caw #for some reason didn't think that “intense moodnseings” also included positive emotions....#i was like surely this isnl bipolar bc im manic #but obviously mood swings and irregular mood means.... positive too #so it might not be bipolar mania might be borderline moods wings #agggg #mental health #someone get me in a facility nNOWWWWW #why didnt i do this when it was first mentioned to me #fucked off to Norway instead didn't i #“well everythings better now and i never feel depressed or suicidal anymore so i must be healed right?”#“it was just depression and nothing more and now.im normal and sane”#<- statements of the completely deranged #<- statements of a bitch who does not know whats about to come onto them

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stormyoceans · 11 months

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monica. it's june and the boys are together... we're about to be real annoying (affectionate)

CASSI I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO EXPLAIN THE EPIC HIGHS AND LOWS I'VE BEEN EXPERIENCING IN THESE FIRST SEVEN DAYS OF THE MONTH OF JUNE IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 2023. EVERY DAY I GO FROM THE PEAKS OF EUPHORIA TO THE PITS OF DESPAIR JUST UP AND DOWN IN A CONSTANT STRING OF

me: jimmy and sea are together again today!!!!!

my brain: they're just getting ready for the LOL fanfest.

me: but they start filming last twilight after that!!!!!

my brain: that could literally mean right the next day or in the next three months.

me: but jimmy keeps saying soon!!!!!

my brain: that's just what you tell people to keep them at bay. look at him. that's the face of a man who knows what he's doing.

IM SORRY IM NOT GOD'S STRONGEST SOLDIER IM JUST SO READY TO BE INSUFFERABLE ABOUT THIS SHOW AND IF I DON'T GET SOME KIND OF NEWS BEFORE JULY IM AFRAID YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO PUT ME DOWN ONCE AND FOR ALL

#me: i want them to take all the time they need with last twilight that's an incredibly important story and i can wait for it #also me talking to myself and clawing at the walls of my enclosure: IF THEY DON'T START FILMING SOON IM GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!!!!#i feel so normal about this show it's honestly insane how normal and sane and hinged and fine i feel about it #somebody sedate me #last twilight the series #m: ask #cassi 💙

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misfortunegirl · 8 months

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anyone who is inlove with me 👉👈

#Im sorry im having a bad episode rn and am most likely going to be embarrassed but oh well. i need validation.#also im like mostly aware nobody gives a rats ass about me on here but . still.#theres like a tiny part of me that wishes theres a person on here that actually cares about me very deeply thoufh they dont show it #but also i get anxious when i remember that literally anyone can access my crazy ramblings.😀#/⁠╲⁠/⁠\⁠╭⁠(⁠•⁠‿⁠•⁠)⁠╮⁠/⁠\⁠╱⁠\#finak thoughts for now HOPEFULLY: if youre like me . listen to your intuition. its never been wrong for me. yes i feel crazy and paranoid #but guess what i am also? always right. so. yeah. if something feels off its because it is. ☝️ stop beinf a dumb bitch like me and ignoring #your intuition. dont be like me please. ive been aware about so many things way before they happened but always disregarded my suspicions #bitch my suspicions have never been wrong. those whove made me out a crazy paranoid bitch. EAT SHIT.#anywho anywho. if something feels off and wrong. its cause it is off and wrong. people cant be trusted ever. most suck . truthfully.#see this is why therapy doesnt work for me. unless ive written thoughts like these down these revelations come and go on ther own and in th #meantime im as dumb as a rock!!!! because i literally forget everything that ever happens to me #anyways. the verdict is. i need someone who is obsessed with me so that i can be obsessed with them without being made out to be crazy😌#i cant love normally because at the end of the day nothing about me is normal.#im unsatisfied because normal life doesn't fit me.#normal life is made for normal and sane people. not for weird bitches like me who share their delusional ramblings on Toomblr dot com.#thats actually a sort of. calming realization. im constantly trying to fit into the mold of a normal person #when clearly im not. ive neverbeen. ive turned out this way because everyone ostracized me for not being like them #well. suddenly i feel better. dont get me wrong i still hope theres at leasr one person on here whois madly inlove with me🥶#but yeag. im jughead coded at the end of the day. Riverdale writers found outt about me and were like lets makes jughead based on her is #no “is” .sorry #based off on actually. i know english well i swear

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theminecraftbee · 3 months

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"So, and I can't believe I have to be the guy to point this out," Doc starts hesitantly.

"Terrible start! Go on," Cleo says.

"But you seem to be one of the only sane people left right now," Doc continues.

"Even more terrible, although I appreciate your delusion," Cleo says.

"And I have to--you know, if you're going to make fun of me for bringing you a problem maybe I just won't. I can solve it myself. I basically solved the moon thing myself," Doc says. "I am trying to be responsible before this turns into a whole thing."

"Doc, you came to me. Did you want anything that wasn't me making fun of you? Because you know, if so, I really feel bad for you. I already feel bad enough for you that you think you actually managed to do anything at all about the moon thing."

Doc throws his hands up. "I am trying to warn you the ocean is evil! It's important! This is important!"

"The deep sea being evil isn't new," Cleo starts, "I was building Atlantis last season--"

"It sent, sent, salmon people to kill me!"

Cleo stops. They look Doc in the eyes. They search for any signs of deception at all. It's a little hard to tell, on account of Doc only having one eye even capable of expressiveness, and his face being the opposite of human, but...

"What?" Cleo says dumbly.

"It was like, like, Beef and Skizz, they were crazy! They were talking about a giant fish and how I shouldn't defy it. And I was like, what is a Big Salmon? I don't know, man, but they're ocean mobsters. And then I started looking. It's not just them. It's not just them Cleo, it's everyone. The ocean, man, it's evil, it's getting everyone. I've, I've made a list. Grian. Have you looked at Grian lately?"

"I think if we were worried about every time Grian got possessed then we wouldn't have any free time," Cleo says hesitantly.

"Right, right, but it was supposed to be Demise. The killing each other, all of the killing each other. I thought, oh, that'll get it out of their systems. But it's not just him Cleo! It's--have you seen Gem? She's all, oh, I will build a boat. Oh, I'll provoke the creatures of the deep. And then. Do you know what I saw all of Team ZITS doing? Fishing!"

"Doc," Cleo says, increasingly concerned for him. He looks... disheveled.

"And not just fishing, oh no. They were standing in the water fishing! And Pearl! Have I mentioned that Pearl is dressing up as a salmon? I mentioned that, yes? The salmon Pearl?"

"You hadn't, unless that was the big fish thing," Cleo says.

"No, that was something different, I think Pearl is maybe a different salmon."

"Sure, okay, more than one salmon, that makes sense," Cleo says dryly.

"And everyone, they are fishing each other around the ocean, yes? Etho is in the ocean! XB is in the ocean! I think I saw Joe crawl out of the ocean earlier, he was all wet and haunted! Surely that is a sign the ocean is evil."

"No, he's just like that," Cleo says. "Also, I did the fishing rod thing too. I think it's just... normal fun."

"They're getting you too. My assessment that you're the sane one. I've said too much."

"I think you need sleep," Cleo says. "Doc, there isn't an ocean-based conspiracy. It's the start of the season. You know we're just like this."

"That's the thing, I can't sleep," Doc says. "I can't. I sleep and I see it. I see it, lurking beneath the waves. It's calling for me Cleo. It's calling. And when it calls, it seems so--kind. But then. But then! I wake up, and I remember the shape of it, and..."

Doc shudders and stops talking. Cleo looks at him a moment longer and then, like comforting a nervous animal, takes his shoulder.

"You should take a nap. It's the start of the season. You're over-stressing yourself. Too much too fast?" they say, as soothingly as possible.

"It's coming for us," Doc says. "It's coming. I don't want to ignore it this time, yes? What's coming for us. We should--we should--"

"Even if it is, Doc, I don't think we can fight the ocean. Come on. Maybe sleeping in my base will help reset your brain."

Doc shudders, but lets Cleo guide him inside. They watch until at last he falls asleep fitfully before shaking their head and sighing.

"A giant fish that was trying to kill him. Honestly. I don't know where he gets these things from. Always a conspiracy with him..."

They decide to go to Ren. Ren knows how to humor Doc. Surely they can get in their ridiculous games again, and Doc will forget all about this. Doc would enjoy the Ministry of Ministries. Maybe he can be an anarchist or something. That would be good for him.

Doc cries out in his sleep. Cleo turns to him.

Then again, they have this strange sinking feeling in their stomach. Doc's... awfully worked up.

But it's Doc.

Surely it's nothing.

#hermitcraft #docm77 #zombiecleo #a bee fic #SO THE CONTINUED OBSESSION EVERYONE HAS WITH THE OCEAN HUH.#hermitfic

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inkskinned · 3 months

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there's a video on instagram of a man kicking his partner's door in. the top comment is (with over 4 thousand likes): "how about you tell us what you did to make him that angry?"

barring emergency, nobody should be kicking anybody's door in. many of us lived in houses where it was always, somehow, an emergency. there is a strange, almost hysterical calm that comes over you in that moment - everything feels muted, and you almost feel, however incongruently, like you should be laughing. you are living inside of "the emergency." oh my god, you think. i am now a fucking statistic.

there is another comment with 2.8 thousand likes: "if this was a woman doing it to a man, nobody would give a shit."

do people give a shit now, though?

barring emergency, the door should remain standing. the emergency should be panicked, desperate - "i'm coming in there to protect you." many of us know what it feels like when the emergency is instead "i'm coming in there to get you."

1.5k likes: "and yet you post this for notes. glad to see being the victim has become your whole personality."

hysteria is a word connected to womb, from greek. what you're experiencing is so senseless and inhumane that you (a rational creature) try to find any ground within what is irrational and cannot be explained. one of the most frustrating things about staying in bad situations is that we also lie to ourselves. we also ask ourselves - wow. what did i do?

women can be, and often are, also abusers. abuse is not gendered. abuse is not just a "straight person" problem. abuse does not have a face or figure or sexuality. you cannot pick an abuser out of a crowd. an abuser could be actually anybody.

and then so many people rally behind the man kicking the door in. here is something nobody should be doing, right? you want to ask every person that liked that first comment: do you ask this because you side with him? do you ask this because it helps you feel safe from this ever happening?

in some ways, you're weirdly sympathetic to the top comment, because it is the same logic you see frequently. the idea is that the average, normal, sane person doesn't just break down a door. doesn't just shoot up a school. doesn't stalk and kill women. doesn't threaten sexual assault. doesn't run over protesters. doesn't shoot an unarmed black person. doesn't scream at underpaid walmart employees. doesn't just "lose it". something had to have happened, right? because the default (white. straight. cis.) - that is someone who is always, you know. "sane."

(right?)

on a podcast, you hear a sane, normal, rational person. "if you piss me off, i'm going to need to hit something. sorry but i'm not apologizing. that's just who i am that's how it is." his voice almost sounds like he's laughing.

you think of the door, and how you were almost laughing behind it, too. ironically, every real emergency in your life has almost felt peaceful in comparison. fire, car accident, flash flooding - these felt quiet, covenant to you. you'd stood in all of them, feeling them pass over and up to your chin, never actually overwhelming.

but when the door was coming down, you had felt - is there a word for that? there has to be, a word, right.

surely one of us has figured out the word for that, i mean. it's such a large fucking statistic.

#spilled ink #writeblr #warm up #this is so disorganized #i just saw that video and the comments made me want to vomit #it's actually like. in the way it's funny that you got into a car crash and got the flu within the same 24 hours #it's like.#it's funny #because certain people will blame everything on mental illness #even being transgender.#they will not #however #at any point - even vaguely suggest that a man should maybe get therapy.#like. a guy busting down a door isn't a danger-to-himself-and-others #(you just pushed him too far).#but a young adult looking for top surgery should be institutionalized for even wanting to change their body.

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